#and it’s fuxking awful
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Also never forgetting that Sokolov twins can have the most sadistic state of mind where they take incredible pleasure and delight in making someone they dislike suffer through either physical or psychological trauma or driving them to absolute insanity. Victor prefers more physical trauma, but Zarina wants to ruin another person’s mind.
#mobile.#( to be erased. )#they’re both sick.#and it’s fuxking awful#it’s scary how they can show that side of them when you don’t expect it#with Zarina it’s better known but Victor is … more openly sadistic than Zarina#and he’s ruthless when he wants to lash out as fire#and it’s scary. it’s scary but he blows up and then calms down#Zarina prolongs that type of torture she drags it out and it’s sick.#it’s simply and plainly sick#both of them for their reasons#either of them can come up with various ideas on how to make someone suffer#someone they dislike someone stronger someone who is their way#never weaker tho. never someone who cannot give them a fight back or who hasn’t actually done anything to them#they don’t like senseless torture it’s not fun for them#❄ ― RAMBLINGS & SCREAMS. ╱ discussions of life and the beautiful under the sun.
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Y'all send me the good vibes my migraine is a bitch who can't quit
#fuckin auras man#listen I can work through the pain#but not being able to see from half of my vision#bc it looks like a fuxking kaleidoscope?#awful. hate it. 0/10
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jfc people being exposed as cunts during shit like this is nothing new but there is just fucking something about politicians you thought were "eh okay i guess" being exposed as explicitly supporting genocide is. a lot.
#buzzy#palestine#israel#fucking john fetterman is really goong in on#'ISRAEL HAS A RIGHT TO DEFEND ITSELF YOU DONT KNOW THEY BLEW IP THAT HOSPITAL'#'WE CAN TALK ABOUT A CEASEFIRE ONCE HAMAS IS DESTROYED'#like i didnt have a huge opinion of him beyond the aforementioned 'eh he seems fine' but christ hes just. fuxking awful huh?
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If I have another breakdown at work tomorrow like I did the last time I worked a Saturday I'm going to kill myself because last time I screamed in the hallway and cried so hard I was shaking because of how stressed I was.
#working at the movie theater sucks I hate people so much#I also hate that the movie theater was the best I could do even with a fucking degree because I've never had a job before#and I haven't even been there a month and I'm already the most fucking competent usher we have#i have to do fucking everything and I'm the only one keeping us on track every fucking day#also the only other ushers I actually like aren't the ones I consistently work with and tomorrow I have to work with the one that I hate#they literally do not pay me enough for this shit#anyway I'm back to considering opening art commissions becauae as I said they don't pay me shit and I really do need the extra money#also another reason I'm pissed about working tomorrow is that I have to miss christmas cookie baking at ny grandma's and that's one of-#-my favorite traditions every year. I'm actually very upset about it I might cry about it at work tomorrow.#alao they're making me come in at 10 am when all the other ushers don't start coming in until like 12 and the first theaters don't let out-#-until like 11:40 so there's literally no point in me being there that early other than to just piss me off#I'll take the extra like fuxking 20 bucka those 2 hours will get me but fuckibg seriously? I know I'm technically available-#-which is probably why but all it's gonna be is me making sure our usher cart is stocked then sitting around for an hour and a half#fuck everything#I fucking hate that this is my life this is awful#I can't have literally anything can I?#abby after dark#abby's having a crisis
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(wip) Party and Ghoul doodle that might turn in a scene in the comic I'm making but who knows
originally kinda made this for the cringetober prompt 'niche interest' but I liked the scene enough that I wanted to spend more than a day on it lmao
#my side profile for party is soooooo goddamn inconsistent#also Ghoul's saying 'No; man; that's-'#(with the ; as commas)#party's hair's a little too cowlick-y but hey it fits the scene in context#idk why I keep talking about the comic idk if I'm even gonna post it#God the hands are so bad. baby steps baby steps#I really need to do hand studies#FUXK I FORGOR A COMMA#aw well 👍 Ghouls just kinda rude now#does anyone even read these tags?#paper looks more textured than normal cause I actually got under good lighting for once#need to learn how to do more like. composition shit#idkkkkkk so much to learn so little skill#party poison fanart#my art#traditional art#art wip#danger days#ttlotfk#ddttlotfk#fun ghoul#fun ghoul fanart#danger days fanart#funparty#funpoison#<- idk which is actually their ship name but w/e#love drawing Ghoul speaking afrikaans#spiritually healing#ek is soo lif (?) vir him sy's soos my net beater#if there's any mistakes in that shhhhhh I'm tired
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have been feeling depressed today, might listen to nightvale again and do laundry
#everything i want to do feels awful so might as well feel awful and have laundry done 👍#i am fuxking hunting for that dopamine mann
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PAINTING?
painting pretty boys friday (and other such related holidays)
(prints!)
#undescribed#art!!#holy fucn#this is fuxking gorgeous#op i am smooching your hands like a royal in awe#thank you
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hmm maybe I make a matcha and try to draw something for freak week
#I feel bad for not drawinggggggggggg#Me when I’m too tired to draw#Aw fuxk it I’m going to draw#sparrow speaks
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theres so many people in this move
#likeuh mr cop from stranger things#frogto his name#and it just clicked in my head that this is the same margo robbie that aws in barbie#and fuxking hannibal lecter#the one i seriously didnt expect was will smith#bc i mainly know him from like men in black and stuff like that#but honeslty hes cool in this#good actung range#also why has he not aged since mib#literally he looks 2 years older in this movie than in mib#also someone else i think but i fogrto
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Oh no
GET AWAY YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER I AM FUCKING BEGGING
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just realized how many times i’ve gone:
“if this world-building/campaign idea is that great i’ll remember it” and tossed out the scrap of paper it was written on…. and just forgot, a really good idea
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Ugly as shit but that's your problem now :3
#actias posts for once#trying to. embrace my shittiness#cuz yeah#long distance gf is meeting me soon and im kinda just.oh fuxking god i just remembered i looked awful and i let myself get worse for 16 yrs!#but unfortunately#thats his problem now#:3
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I listen to the Polyphia discography once and ive been possesed by a pholosipher>
Human connecton and thought is so beautiful and facinatingly imperfect, we can never fully understand anyones thoughts and experences but that doesnt stop us from trying constantly! We make such an effort and have the desire to understand what we never fully can just to see the joy it brings to anotehr person, we dont undrestand why one person cares about this one thing but we understand and know the joy a simple thing can bring to someone as we have our own lights that are important to us! And we make so much effort to take the time to engage with others about their important lights because we understand how overwhelmingly joyful it is to talk about them because of our own experences! Even if we ourselves arent the most interested in their lights, we do anyway because of the joy it brings them!
Its so easy to forget that none of us experence things the same way but making the effort to listen and try to understand someone else is the best feeling in the world, conversations about the little things in our head that bring us joy is one of the most human and fundementle things! I may never care as much about a thing that y friend adores cus its their thing but i dont need to! All i need to do is want to connect with them and listen about why they care about this thing because i care about them! And I may want them to love the things i do but at the end of the day they dont need to feel the same way about a thing that i do to connect through it!
i am mildly sleep deprived but FUCK HUMANS ARE SO COOL AND WONDERFUL AND WE ALL CARE SO MUCH AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND ONE ANOTHER IS FLAWED AND YET WE TRY AND ITS SO BEAUTIFUL THAT WE CARE ABOUT ONE ANOTHER SO MUCH AS TO ACCEPT THAT WE MAY NEVER KNOW EVERYTHING BUT WE SPEND ALL THE TIME WE HAVE TO EXPLORE THOSE THINGS.
#Im pretty sure people take drugs to think like this#jokes on them it came as a pre-installed setting on me#Ive been possesed by a philosipher and boy im so jazzed about human experence rn you have no clue#this is so full of spelling errors but it doesnt matter and gerts the point across that human connection is beautiful#Im just so in wonderment and awe#we are so cool#and i wanna learn about the things my friends care about!#AAAA!!!#HUMANS ARE AWSOME AND THOUGHTS ARE SO COOL!!!#Man the autism is hitting different today#have i re-read everything before posting? absolutlly not you get my unedited thoughts#fuxk im tired but everyone needs to remember how beautiful life is#original post
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fhrrrerrhrhghrgegheehehewehthete5eg
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#im so fucking frustrated!;!!!_;$+-_647757⁵7#im mad and annoyed and angry and tired#and i cant even do anything about it its all fucking hopeless#like im tired cause i had to watch the stupid fucking kids from the moment they woke up to the moment they wnet to fucking sleep#LIKE IM NOT THEIR FUCKING PARENTS I DIDNT HAVE FUCKING KIDS I FONT WANT TO WATCH THEMM ALL FUCKING DAY#i watch them furing the day because i babysit and km fucking paid to do it but nope now i have to watch them all fucking fayt#and the only reason im not gonna today is cause i have to go to my second fficking job because my sister wont ficking pay me#and even if she did its basically no money#and i cant rven be frustrated im not allowed to yell and scream like i need to#because the alternatove of my screaming is beating the literal dhit out of myself THE OTHER OPTION IS LITERALLY SELF HARM#BUT NOPE SCREAMING AY NOTHING TO RELEIVE ANGER ISNT ALLOWD THATS WHAT FIVE YEAR OLDS DO AND THATS BAD OR WHATEVER#and i csnt fucking tell any of this to my mom cause it doesnt help me this only ever hurts me#oh im tired because i have eork well everyonr is fucking tired and mom works 18 hours so shut up#literally cant tell my mom cause i say im looking for a therapist and thats fucking hard and then shes just like it doesnt take six months#which FUXK OFF I HAVE BEEN DOING OTHER THINGS AS WELL AS FINDING A THERAPIST AND ITS NOT FUCKING EASY SO SHUT UP#MAYBE IM STRUGGLING TO FIND ONE AND I NEED HELP THINK OF THAT JNSTEAD OF JUST MAKING DIGS AT MY INABILITY TO DO THIS#MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GET FUCKJNG HOSPTALIZED FOR SOMETHING REALLY AWFUL AND BAD AND IT WOULD ALL BE BETTER#MAYBE IT WOULD BE FUCKING BETTER IF I FUXKING DIED OKAY#BUT NOPE IM THE VILLIAN IN THE HOUSE#MY BROTHER HATES ME FOR BEING TRANS AND THINKING THAT HUMAN DESERVE RIGHTS WHEN HES THE ONE THAT STARTS THESE ARGUEMENTS IN THE FIRST PLACE#MY SISTER HATED ME FOR HATING MY DAD BECAUSE HE WAS AWFUL AND FOR 'NOT HELPING AROUND THE HOUSE'#WHEN I LITERALLY CLEANED THE ENTIRE FRIDGE AND FREEZER ON SUNDAY AND I DO THE DISHES AND SHIT WHEN MY BROTHER DOES NOTHING#HE DOESNT EVEN PHT HIS FUCKING CANS IN THE RECYCLING OR HIS PLATES IN THE FUCKING SINK HE DOES NOTHING BUT IM THE PROBLEM#AND NY MOM FUCKIN HATES ME FOR BEING ME SHE SAYS IM DIFFICULT TO LIVE WITH AND HATES THAT I AM DISABLED AND AUTISTIC AND FAT AND TRANS#BUT I CANT SAY ANY OF THIS AND THERE IS NO SOLUTION TO ANY OF IT#I JUST WANT TO BE DONE WITH LIFE BUT IM SO FUCKING SCARED OF DEATH IRONICALLY#SO INSTEAD I JUST WISH FOR AWFUL THINGS TO HAPPEN TO ME MAYBE I CAN BE DONE WITH IT#soap spoilers
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Me about to throw hands with multiple 13 year olds because they’re being very mean to my lil sister
#Gos help me not to be a bitch I will go for their parent’s heads if this continues after today#I hate puberty I hate the teenage years but more than anything I hate to see my lil sister doubt herself so much and take such awful treatme#FUXK GHIS I’M SO STUPID ANGRY RN FR FR#WE ARE NOT DOING GOOD TODAY LADS IT IS NOT A GOOD DAY#Ani Rambles
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WHY IS RIDING THE PUBLIC TRANSIT IN THIS CITY SUCH AN UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE!!!!!
Tldr fuck this shithole village pretending to be a real city, i am moving to a different country in 6 months and hopefully leaving sooner i genuinely cant take it life here is so miserable
#literally every single time i get on i get thrown around like fucking potatoes in a truck bed i hate hate hate the asshole drivers#fuck this city its literally so shitty i Do Not Understand how it gets voted so high for quality of life#there are NO labor rights NO OSHA and they constantly lie to foreigners about the law to avoid paying them benefits#the weather is god awful#and the people are fucking assholes#and also ugly. im just Really not into tall blonde and all with the same face#its literally all the same face here!! and its identical to the fucking museum portraits!! how inbred and closed minded can you get!!#my guest living in madrid literally commented that they all have the same fucking face here#ty for the validation but holy fuxk i need to leave#another friendwas texting me just now that he got off of work and was heading to the supermarket...#babe its 6:30pm on a saturday. Nothing is open anymore#holy fucking fuck i hate living here so so much and i hate the shitbexcuse for a uni i need to get out of my lease and get tf out of here
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