#and it’s even worse in German like I absolutely can not even talk about that topic in general in german

[anotherobsessedsomething]

I need anon mode in real life… I just want to get my thoughts out without anyone connecting them to me or making anyone worry

[kneelingshadowsalome]

prefacing this by saying I have absolutely no information on this period of history, but Rome was sacked and ultimately destroyed by Germanic tribes.

And naturally, the first thing I thought of upon learning that was Invader!König X Roman Maiden!Reader. Similar to your story, I’m thinking he decides to take the Reader as a trophy of war similar to his comrades. You and plenty of other maidens are tied up, thrown across horseback or across shoulders, and dragged off back to Germania. Depending on how dark you want it, König could wait for his little prize to want his cock, or he could have no patience at all and fuck her as soon as he gets a chance. Of course, he’s still somewhat of a gentleman, he’ll make sure she enjoys it, but like it or not his cock’s going in her.

I think this is an opportunity to lean even further into the barbarian König idea, with varying levels of darkness.

Save me dark barbarian!König... 🖤💋

CW: dark content, noncon groping, noncon cuddling, fear of SA, König's idea of hot sex is problematic to say the least, reader's level of enthusiasm/consent is ambiguous

He doesn’t care about your delicate sensibilities or noble background, he’s here to bring your Empire down and your weak men to their knees. It’s about time someone burned Rome to the ground; no amount of foreign perfume can cover the smell of shit in these streets…

But he won’t say no to gold or jewels, they might some day decorate his future wife's neck and wrists perhaps. Neither will he ride homeward without a slave to keep him warm. He hasn’t had a woman in months, the only thing closest to a cunt has been his calloused fist and he’s grown tired of that, nothing can compare with the real deal so a soft little female is exactly what he needs to keep him company when he and his warriors return North.

Your options are either freezing to death or crawling inside this giant’s cloak when he holds it open for you come nightfall, the voyage to Germania bringing with it the first snow and cold winds straight from Hades. You have no option but to go to this man for some body heat, the low rumble in his chest resembling the pleased purr of some untamed beast as he envelops you in wool and a hungry embrace.

He never speaks to you, only talks with his hands that roam all over your body as you cling to him with clattering teeth. Examining the wideness of your hips, the plumpness of your ass and tits, he serves himself a handful and some pinches as if he’s sampling fruit at the marketplace. Rubs your nipples between the pad of his thumb and pointer until you flinch from pain, mutters something pleased when he sees your skittish reaction. He won’t allow you to pull away however, not when you’re finally here, so back to his arms you go as he crushes you against his chest.

He’s amused at your attempts to both huddle closer and squirm away: why are you being so difficult when clearly, you want this too?

He saw how you looked at him back there when he was drenched in blood, that’s the reason he chose you. You’re sweeter than an apple, didn’t even scream when he swept your hair from your face to have a better look at you, you only eyed him with challenge when he inspected your lips, waistline and hips. A scared female would have avoided his eyes and begged not to be killed or worse, but you only lifted your chin and spat on his face, practically begging to get fucked…

And now you’re acting like you don’t want his cock while at the same time, you continue to stare at him like a deer in heat. If you don’t want him to fuck you then you should stop making him hard, but in truth König is only glad that he chose you out of all women. The ride back home won’t be dull with a fiery fox woman like you, he has to be careful that he doesn’t get bitten and bruised… How his men would laugh in the morning if they found out that the vixen he stole has made him hers, little teeth marks decorating his skin and betraying everyone your claim.

He would only be proud of you if you did that; women are quite adorable when they have some fire in them. But make no mistake, he won’t let you go no matter how hard you act like you hate him… Everyone here knows you want to jump on his cock; had he decided to inspect your pussy too while covered in your husband’s blood, he could’ve bet all his fortune along with his horse that you were already wet for him.

He could take you right now on this cold, hard ground, try to see how long it takes to make you wet and pliant. The only thing really keeping him from doing so are his men, no doubt wanting to see how a Roman lady takes their giant leader's cock. But he’s not going to give them the satisfaction of seeing you naked, let alone watching him fuck you, he'd have to kill them all afterwards...

So he settles for making his naughty little slave warm, and both of you a little breathless. He can find a more discreet place for you tomorrow, order a break or two to ease the heaviness of his sacks, the aching hard ons he’s had ever since he saw you. He has to be careful not to break you, and remember to kiss you on your neck, he heard that that’s the key to make women wet and willing.

You seem so fragile and frail when you fall asleep, finally surrendering to him, your body yielding and molding against his. In the morning, you whimper sweetly when he squeezes your now warm, plush body, and plants kisses on your face, your neck. You have no idea that the warriors are already mocking him for “making you wait so long”, that he has listened to stupid jokes all morning with you securely tucked inside his cloak. You bite him when he tries to come too close, all the brutes around you burst to laughter as he howls from pain.

Not feeling at all sorry for him when he rubs his neck and looks at you with drowsy curiosity, you rise and spit again on the ground as if you had just tasted something vile. He can’t stifle his smile then, your idea of foreplay is much more fun than what he had in mind…

And you aren’t flung over his horse, but actually get to ride it with him, the arm around your middle like iron as he keeps you as close to him as possible. You don’t know that he’s reluctant to take an unwilling woman, and that this preference makes him the laughing stock of the group. Neither do you know that König has already pictured you inside his hut, baking bread and scolding children like the firebrand that you are, giving him a naughty little wrestle and a fistfight every night before bed... Shuddering from want like you do now on his horse as he exposes your breasts to the approaching winter.

You are about to faint as tiny snowflakes land on your nipples, melting instantly as this man starts to fondle your tits. Slumping against his blazing form, you can do nothing but accept your fate as the horse keeps walking and the men around you shout and whistle at the sight of your breasts. The rough barks of your captor quickly end their excitement upon seeing your exposed tits, the whistles stop and the men turn their eyes quickly away from you.

The man behind you is now perfectly content, riding in the crisp morning air while pawing your breast with one hand and holding the reins with the other, his groin grinding against you with the movements of the horse, making it clear that he might soon stop this torture altogether and take you to the nearby woods for a quick fuck…

[starandcloud]

42!Miles Headcannons

I am on a kick of Spiderverse, so Tumblr gets it-

Miles has separation anxiety with you, which got a lot worse when you started dating, him being the prowler and all

He cannot handle the sound of guns, it makes his anxiety race.

He'd never admit it but he genuinely likes your company, like he'll deny it then go out of his way to find stupid reasons to hang out with you. Which his mom plays into. Miles: Aye, Idiota. Come over. My mom misses you. Y/N: Ooookay? Rio, hugging Y/N: Y/N I've missed you, how've you been? Are you feeling okay? Have you been eating enough? Y/N, laughing: I'm okay Mrs. Morales, thank you for worrying about me though Miles: *Absolutely smitten by how you interact with his mom*

Leaves you gits randomly, like if he's out on a job with his uncle and he sees something he knows you'll like he'll swipe it (and leave money) and either leave it on your desk or put it on your window sill. You've yet to catch him

He HAS stopped and watched you sleep when he left you a gift, not in creepy way more like a "God... They're so perfect..." His eyes, hidden behind his lil mask, softened on you. He only left because the hallway light flicked on and he panicked. That was the loudest he had ever fled from somewhere, he didn't even close your window.

He is really artistic too, he has dozens of sketches of you in his sketchbook. You're his favorite thing to draw

Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for Miles wanting to kill someone for you. But he would only think it, he'd never actually act on those thoughts. He couldn't bear the weight of taking a life, even if it was for you. He's a vigilante, remember

As terrifying as he seems, Miles is a HUGE baby when it comes to getting hurt. He'll act like he's fine, but when he's with his Uncle or Mom he cries. Like ugly cries, he's a huge baby-

Has Trypanophobia (The Fear of Needles), hates the sight of them and cannot handle it when he has to get shots

When he cannot handle anything anymore he goes to his dad's Mural and just sits there, he doesn't talk or make any noise. He just sits against the brick, sometimes he cries, sometimes he doesn't but he's always there late at night so no one really sees him

He doesn't talk to anyone he actually has a crush on, like he's flirty as hell with everyone but the person he actually likes he's really blunt and distant. Like a dumbass

I can 100% see Miles being Omni, like he could like anyone as long as he's close to them

We all know Miles' sleep schedule is FUCKED, he's a Vigilante, he doesn't get to sleep much due to everything being at night. But he still gets good grades and sleeps when he can

This is literally one of his posts on Twitter and you CANNOT tell me otherwise-

He isn't really bothered by people who're taller than him, or people who are a few inches shorter. But if you're below his chin he's wary, he's heard enough from Ganke not to mess with people that short. "They have to climb to get things, I don't wanna mess with someone who climbs counters.

I can see him being taller than 1610!Miles, cause 1610!Miles is 5'8" so I can see 42!Miles being anywhere from 5'9 to 5'10". Like it's not a noticeable difference if you're not paying attention, ya know?

Miles does Photography, but it's more of a hobby. He doesn't plan on turning it into a career, but he does it when he's got the chance, his posts look like this

Bubbly_Rose and Vanilla.Coffee.Addict. Are both his mom, different accounts to support her son. Best mom 100%

Miles has dozens of playlists on spotify, most of which are for his friends and family.

Cat person but has a german shepard named Luna

Had dreads ONCE and decided he hated them, so he stuck to his braids

Miles can cook, really really well. His mom and him used to bond through cooking and now it's something he does when he's stressed or upset

Depending on how tired Miles is, is how he sleeps. If he's just a lil sleepy, his legs are kinda bent and his arms are by his head, HOWEVER, if it was after REALLY tiring job with his uncle he kinda just falls onto his bed and sleeps like that

He usually doesn't go to anyone for comfort and comforts himself unless it's really bad then he goes to his mom or (if he really REALLY trusts them) his significant other

Miles has a tendency to flinch/move away from any form of touch that's not from his mother. He gets pins and needles if he's not expecting a touch and it is almost painful, I wouldn't say he's touch-starved but with his mom working so much it's easy to see that he would be

The one thing that brings Miles' to tears is watching his mom work herself to the bone and never being able to take a break. It makes him so mad that he can't help her, without it being obvious, that it reduces him to tears

He cries when he's mad

He hates it when people go through his things or move them. He has everything in a place, everything has to be perfect. Major OCD when it comes to his room, it's his space and he wants it perfectly clean

Miles takes really good care of himself, he keeps himself in shape (outside of being the Prowler) and makes sure to eat and hydrate right

Miles. Is. A. Huge. Softie for little kids. He acts like he can't stand them but the minute he's flashed a toothy smile from a little kid, he can't help but smile back

He considers a few people who aren't family, his family like Ganke

His idea of "A Perfect Vacation" is going anywhere with his mom and Uncle. It could literally be a trip to his Paternal Grandmother's house, and as long as his mom isn't working he is perfectly content

Miles tends to bite his nails and chew on his lips when he's nervous

By FAR the strangest thing Miles has ever seen was one of his classmates straight up touching their eyeball, that happened when he was 13 and it still freaks him out

Miles accepts advice relatively well, he doesn't show it but he does

He hates most pictures, but there was a few that his version Gwen took of him.

He is horrible at talking to someone he's got a crush on, like worse than 1610!Miles ;-;

Miles wakes up before his mom, when she's home, and makes her breakfast, he eats, showers, and goes to school, comes home, does his homework, goes to his boxing class (curtesy of Uncle Aaron), and depending on the day either goes on a job or goes to sleep

He has a few scars on his face from one of the first few jobs he was on when he wasn't far enough away from a bomb when it went off

Ocra. He CANNOT with the texture of it.

He loves stormy weather, its relaxing to him

He loves Fall and winter, the crisp air makes him smile

As a way to waste time, he goes to the gym or draws

When Miles wakes up from a nightmare, he kinda just lays there until he puts his headphones on and falls asleep to whatever song he's listening to

Miles collects little doo-dads from the street, it gives him something to fidget with

Miles knows English, Spanish, and French. He had to take a second language class and he COULDN'T take Spanish, so he's relatively fluent in French

Miles is the type of person to give someone the tightest most affection hugs, like even if he's just friends with the person. Hugs are like "I love you"s for Miles, they're sparing things from him

If Miles had three wishes from a genie he'd wish for: 1. His mother to either be paid more or for her to work less 2. His city to have less issues 3. To talk to his dad again

CROSSOVER: Miles is a gryffindor, with a Kingfisher Patronus and an 11.25 in Applewood wand with Unicorn hair ((I don't support J.K. Rowling))

Miles saw you in his clothes once and it MELTED him, he physically leaned against the wall and smiled stupidly

If you don't typically wear glasses (despite needing them, like my dumbass) and you wear them around Miles. The first time he saw you in them, he was distracted enough he walked into a wall.

Miles will protest being called cheesy things likes "Babydoll", "Pumpkin" "Sweets", "Bubba", "Light of My Life", "Tater Tot" (this happened ONCE, "Sunshine", "Dumpling", "Bambie", and "Babyface". He genuinely loves it when you call him that. Specifically: Babydoll, Pumpkin, and Sunshine. He still likes the other ones but loves those more.

[msfbgraves]

Work vs Jobs

What I'm going to say is not in any way new - you can read Marx, Chomsky, Graeber, Bregman if you want to ponder it at length, but in the offline world it is still seen as a radical idea.

When reading about the sandwich- to- minimum wage- ratio, I saw all these Tumlblr comments basically going: (sobbing) 'fuck you, I'm not gonna buy that (sobbing some more').

So then I thought: if so many of us are cutting back on things like sammies because who indeed would pay €8 for a döner or $10 for a sandwich, how can this not cause a recession?

And then I remembered a Jon Stewart interview with some banking hotshot, saying that yes, because of the pandemic there were fewer laborers around, and yes, we absolutely had to force them to take jobs with bad pay, because supply and demand doesn't go for multinationals, so yes, they had to raise interest and prices artificially to force a recession, cannot be helped, how else would anyone work?

There's so many people who share that view, that if you didn't force people to take jobs, they wouldn't do any work, especially unpleasant work. A uni friend of mine who supports the German Green Party had argued vehemently against a basic income for that reason, because who would deign to clean the streets if they weren't forced to by threat of starvation, homelessness and having their children taken away?

And I need you all to know that experiments with basic income have proven that this is utter, and I mean utter bullshit. Even The Atlantic is seeing now, that there are people for whom working wasn't worth it because of the abysmal conditions, have begun working when the pay was high enough to justify the cost of work - in time or commute or rent.

There's this protestant view of the human spirit that suffering is somehow good for the soul, and this medieval catholic idea that the concept of "work" and "doing penance" is somehow one and the same, and therefore it is morally just to make others and yourself suffer through work, possibly to get a pat on the head from God, whose existence is taken as a given. And that has bled into the idea that jobs are

-morally just

-supposed to be awful, because good for the soul. The more intrinsically rewarding a job, the lower the wages, that's why caring for your own family is unpaid work the world over (both important and intrinsically rewarding)

-something you have to force sinful people into against their will

And both research and experience have proven time and time again that this isn't good, neither for people nor human society at large.

-First of all suffering doesn't make you a good person, ask Art Spiegelman, writer of MAUS, when talking about his father;

-Miserable workers do worse work, ask, well, any labour board in any country

-People actually choose to work for wages when the benefits outweigh the costs, ask the Finnish Government's minimum wage pilot, and the Mincome project.

If you guarantee people housing and a livable income whether or not they choose to work for wages, a few things happen:

People who couldn't afford to work less than fulltime because the cost of care would outstrip the benefit of wages, now choose to take on smaller jobs, stimulating both their wellbeing and the economy;

An increase in informal care makes sure that so many fewer people get sick (excluding antivaxxing tradwives, goodness knows what they're about....), costing the economy billions less

A greatly reduced crime rate, and far fewer incarcerations.

The reason why we're mostly not in a recession that several people who weren't working before, because of high wages, actually ARE working now and nobody needs to bully somebody out of their small business to become a barista at an understaffed Starbucks instead.

What people have been doing, however, is quitting pointless jobs that were actually killing them and keeping them away from their families.

And sure, corporations do not like that.

They need people tired and absolutely miserable so they spend their meagre disposable wages on immediate relief: overpriced food and alcohol, forcing them to clock back in until they die.

If a few employees die, that is absolutely fine. Cost of doing business. We need a critical mass of employees to replace them. You can replace a dead person with a former small business owner, no biggie.

If people get sick, they do not carry any - and I mean not any - of that cost. Society does, but they're not in society, they're in business. Money is not the means to an end, money is the entire end, no matter the cost.

They need to extract as much 'value' out of people as they can, then discard them. Again, it's not about making the employees do good work, it's about having their labour be of very short term gain, and having enough surplus people to be able to work employed people to death.

For that, they need to create poverty where, by rights, there isn't any.

And even they understand that people do not hold with that. So they conflate the idea of "labor", i.e. activity to sustain to make something new, sustain something or improve something, with the idea of a "job" - a position where you, potentially, are used to get a few shareholders richer with no regards for your wellbeing or that of your community, and if you want to get an increase in wages, you have to accept that your time spent there will be increasingly miserable. There are good jobs and bad jobs - indeed some jobs need you functioning at a minimum level of physical health, or are indeed fun, but even they will make you artificially miserable, either by forced poverty (you are a teacher! That is so rewarding! Of course you make nothing!), or moral injury (not only are you not doing anything useful, you are actively making people's lives worse). And they tell you this is necessary, like that episode in Black Mirror where someone has to kill three people or the world will come to an end. People have to be employed, otherwise the economy will tank, making everybody's lives super duper awful and nobody will ever even bother to come out of bed anymore.

There's is useful work done in jobs, but they are not the same thing.

If you guarantee people food, housing, and healthcare, they take better care of themselves, their loved ones, their environment, choose work that suits them, be it about the amount of hours or the kind of work, commit fewer crimes, spend more on fun, make more art, raise more children (their own or others), have fewer addictions. Exploitation is only in the interest of like 5 big companies in the world right now, and they exploit people so they neglect other people who also then have no other choice to get exploited until they die. So please let no one ever tell you that, because there is obviously a lot of work to be done, people have to be forced into jobs. Work is a necessary activity, a job is a place where work may or may not be done under artificially miserable conditions (or what economists think are miserable conditions. Dentists get paid so well because everybody thinks it is a horrible job; meanwhile, I've known a fair few, and those who choose it enjoy it well enough! And yes, every office has a Dwight, but those people truly are outliers).

The person who says "no one wants to work anymore" or "without jobs no work will get done" and especially "without us the economy would tank" are lying through their teeth! Especially those people who say that about "tanking the economy". They're trying to artificially tank it right now! To make people stop doing work they deem necessary and start doing jobs that benefit only the corporations!

Work is necessary, and people will always want to work, and work for wages too. Jobs are designed to be prisons under the current conditions. They will only be opportunities if you can freely choose to leave them at any time, with no risk to your wellbeing.

[nesiacha]

Facepalm during the podcast of 2000 ans d'histoire Madame Tallien

I am really a masochist. What was I thinking, listening to a podcast of the show "2000 Years of History" about Theresa Cabarrus, knowing what awaited me? Anyway, just two or three things that shocked me:

In the podcast, they talk about the misogyny of the Jacobins in 1794, implying that after Thermidor, it was the liberation of women. If the French Revolution was a missed period for women's rights despite certain male deputies in favor of women's rights like Condorcet, Carnot, (who worked with him in women's education along with Pastoret and Guilloud, ) Guyomar, Charles Gilbert Romme, in 1795, it was even worse for women's rights because a decree of the assembly stated that women were no longer allowed to attend assembly sessions.

Françoise Kéramina, despite being a historian, says in her own words that Robespierre had the indignity to propose to Madame Tallien to save her life if she testified against Tallien. Moreover, the reason she gives is that he mistrusts Tallien. Firstly, it’s not just simple mistrust that Tallien inspires in him but a feeling that he is rightfully evading justice. One can reproach Robespierre for many things, but not for being angry against Tallien during his actions on Bordeaux. I won’t repeat myself, so here is a link to what can be reproached to Tallien and why heroizing him is wrong: https://www.tumblr.com/nesiacha/745840835710582784/propaganda-mediatic-around-tallien-and-french?source=share. Secondly, has the show forgotten that Robespierre absolutely does not decide alone? A majority within the Committee of Public Safety, the agreement of the Committee of General Security, and often also the majority of the Convention are required (brief summary). It is far from me to absolve Robespierre, but the decisions were primarily collective. Moreover, what happened is not irregular; it’s called proposing a deal to an accomplice who testifies against another in the same case they are accused of. I know we must be careful with anachronisms, but nowadays we call this, at least in the common law system, a deal; the Romano-Germanic system is a bit more complicated in this matter: a representative of the public prosecutor's office comes to offer a deal to an accomplice to testify against another for a reduced sentence. It’s a judicial deal. Of course, it’s much more problematic if it incites false testimony, but Theresa was an accomplice, and her case was less serious than that of Tallien, who was a deputy and, therefore, a representative of the nation, unlike her. It is logical, then, that this deal was proposed to her. Nothing shocking to me as a law student.

However, in the show, it is said that Tallien had courage on the 9th Thermidor by brandishing a dagger and threatening to kill Robespierre. Well, in this case, it is no longer indignity but courage. Someone needs to explain to me how one can endorse the murder of a deputy (or a person ) outside of laws and judicial frameworks. Moreover, the 9th Thermidor was above all well-prepared theater . So no bravery of Tallien. Anyway, I didn't have the courage to go to the end. I got fooled into thinking that with a historian, there would still be a minimum of seriousness.

Edit: I said 1895 instead of 1795 XD Sorry :)

[hischierdevils]

Forget This | N.H.

note: the third installment of the forget series

summary: you and nico spend the summer in Switzerland

warnings: mentions of sex

wc: 2.1K

disclaimer: i don’t know german it all came from google translate. please don’t come for me.

The two of you left for Switzerland a week later. To say you were nervous was an understatement. For starters, you’d never been out of the country before, only getting your passport when you got the job with the Devils so you could travel. Secondly, there was the whole you and Nico thing. 

The two of you had kissed multiple times since the night of the game but besides a few heavy make out sessions, things hadn’t really escalated. You two hadn’t had a discussion on what this was or where it was going yet. 

You’d think a seven and a half hour plane ride would give you time to talk but Nico spends most of it telling you about his friends and family and what it was like for him where he grew up. He held your hand the entire time you were in the airport and on the plane. At some point in the early morning, you fell asleep on his shoulder and he adjusted the way he was sitting so you could get some rest. 

His excitement is evident on his face when he wakes you up to tell you the plane was beginning to descend. “Does your family…” you groggily try to get your thoughts in order. “Do they know about me?” 

“Of course they do.” Nico smiles at you as he pulls his carry on bag out from underneath his feet. “They can’t wait to meet you.” 

You don’t get a chance to ask him another question as the plane lands and everyone gets out of their seats to pull their luggage down from the overhead bins. Going through customs only makes your anxiety worse when they split you from Nico and you can barely understand what anyone is saying. 

There’s tears in your eyes when you re-join him and he pulls you in for a hug, kissing the side of your head as he gives you a moment to calm down. “I need to learn German.” You attempt to smile at him. 

“I’ll teach you.” He tells you as he pulls away from you. “C’mon, let’s go home.” You try to act like that one word didn’t pull at your heartstrings as you follow him to arrivals.

His sister, Nina, is waiting for the two of you and she squeals when she sees her little brother. “Neeks!” He drops all of his bags so he can hug her and then he happily turns to you. 

“Nina, this is my girlfriend, y/n.” 

You stare at him dumbfounded as Nina also pulls you into a hug. “I’ve heard so much about you!” You smile at her and try to act like you’re listening as the three of you leave the airport. You are excited to meet her, but your mind is still reeling from Nico’s seemingly offhanded label. 

Girlfriend. 

His family absolutely loves you as soon as they meet you and you love seeing how relaxed Nico is once he’s reunited with them. Watching him interact with his brother who you know he admires most, warms your heart. 

The two of you stay with Nico’s parents, sleeping in the same room. For two weeks, you fall asleep in his arms every night. Nothing else ever happens and you begin to wonder why. Is he not attracted to you? He’s always got a hand on you when you’re out, whether he’s holding your hand or touching your lower back, but when it’s just the two of you in the bedroom he almost seems shy. 

“Ich verliebe mich in dich.” Nico’s been giving you a phrase in German every morning since the airport for you to try and figure out. You’re supposed to be going to Lake Lucerne with his brother and sister today but the two of you haven’t even attempted to get out of bed. 

“That’s a long one.” You murmur into his chest as you try to pick out a familiar word that will give you context clues. You know dich means you. And ich is I. “Can you repeat it?” 

Nico kisses your forehead. “Ich verliebe mich in dich.” It’s hard for you to focus on his words and not his beautiful voice. 

“Something about you and me?” You grin at him, hoping he’ll just tell you. 

“You’ll get it, baby.” He kisses you, effectively erasing every thought in your head. “Let’s go before Nina kills us.”

Lake Lucerne is nothing less than breathtaking. Nina brought a camera along and you’re sure your mouth is wide open in every photo. “What do you think?” Nico smirks at the look on your face. 

“I’m never going to forget this.” You respond as you take in the sight. No matter what happens with you and Nico, you’ll always have this memory of your summer in Switzerland.

“Did you figure it out?” Nico asks you as the two of you get into bed later that night. 

You pretend to think for a moment before you smile sheepishly at him. “I forgot what you said.” 

He chuckles and kisses you softly before pulling you into his side. “Ich verliebe mich in dich.”

“Ich verliebe…mich in dich.” You repeat it back to him in broken German trying to think if you overheard any of the words today. 

Nico grins and begins kissing your face all over, making you giggle. “I’m so glad you’re here with me, y/n.” 

“I’m glad I’m with you too, Nic.” You kiss him, trying to convey everything you can’t bring yourself to say into your actions. 

The two of you fall asleep without him telling you what the phrase means. It’s not until the next day when you’re helping his mom clean up dinner, that you hear a clue. Nico’s father says something to Katja in German and she laughs, shaking her head. “Ich liebe dich du Idiot.”

“Sorry for interrupting…but what did you say?” You ask her as you dry the dish in your hand. 

She smiles at you apologetically. They’ve been doing their best not to exclude you from any conversations but his parents don’t speak as fluent English as Nico does. “I am so sorry, y/n. I called him a name and told him I loved him.” 

“Liebe means love?” You ask, trying to put two and two together. 

“Yes, that’s right.” She nods in encouragement. They all know Nico’s slowly been teaching you phrases. 

“So adding something to that would make it a verb right?” You ask more of yourself than her. “Verliebe would mean…” 

“Fall in love.” Katja’s smile is just as radiant as her sons. “Did someone say that to you, y/n?”

A wide smile spreads across your face remembering Nico’s reaction when you repeated it back to him last night. “I think so.”

When Nico gets out of the shower, you’re sitting on the bed smiling at him. “Are you okay?” He asks you confused. “I thought you were going to play cards with Mama?” 

He’s wrapped in nothing but a towel and you get up, carefully wrapping your arms around his waist. “Ich liebe dich.” 

A smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he looks down at you. “Do you know what you just said?” 

You nod, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him. “I love you, Nico.” You didn’t even know what love truly was until him. 

His smile widens as he quickly picks you up, making you wrap your legs around his waist so you don’t fall. “Ich liebe dich auch.”

He kisses you deeply as he carries you to the bed, only breaking away from you so he can lay you down on your back. His hands roam your body as you kiss his neck, leaving little love bites here and there. 

“Is this okay?” He pauses when his hands rest on the waistband of your shorts, making sure you’re alright with it. 

“Yes.” You smile and lift your hips, making it easier for him to undress you. He takes his time kissing his way up your body, lifting your shirt as he goes. When he reaches your breasts, he takes time giving them each equal amounts of attention. 

You're surprised by how eagerly your body responds to his touch and you reach around him to pull his towel off of his waist. “I want you, Nico.” 

“You’ve got all of me, love.” Nico absolutely worships your body, making love to you like nobody has before. 

When you wake up naked in his arms the next morning, he’s still sleeping. You take the opportunity to appreciate how pretty he is, tracing a finger over his thick brows, down his nose, and over his plump lips. 

Deep down you know you don’t deserve to be loved by someone like him and you can’t believe how lucky you got that he chose you. It’s going to hurt like hell when he realizes that you’re more work than you’re worth. Pushing that thought aside, you settle back into his arms. You're going to soak in every moment you can with him.

Your time in Switzerland comes to an end faster than you anticipated. You’re surprised to find tears in your eyes when you say goodbye to Nico’s family and you promise to stay in touch. 

“Are you ready to go home?” Nico asks you once you’re both in your seats on the plane. You picture your small Manhattan apartment in your mind but it doesn’t feel like you belong there anymore. 

“Not really.” You laugh as you lay your head on his shoulder. “This summer feels like a fever dream.” 

“It’s not over yet, love.” He kisses your head. You have a trip to the jersey shore planned with your family that are flying in next week. 

“I know but now I have to get used to sleeping alone again.” You sigh. “Although it will be nice to not have someone kick my blankets off me in the middle of the night.” 

“I can’t control what I do in my sleep.” He huffs. “And you don’t have to.” 

“Don’t have to do what?” You ask absentmindedly as you tap the screen in front of you. 

“Sleep alone.” He says, causing you to look up at him. “Move in with me.” 

“You can’t be serious.” You sit straight up in your seat as you look at him in disbelief. “We’ve only been together a couple months…”

“So?” He shrugs and brushes your hair out of your face. “We’re together all the time anyway and I like holding you at night.” 

“But…” You try to think of another argument as to why this isn’t a good idea but none come to mind. “What if you get tired of me?” 

“Then we’ll go to bed.” He shrugs and laces his fingers through yours.

You laugh and kiss the back of his hand. “Okay. I’ll move in with you.” 

[sad-eyed-lady-of-the-paperbacks]

“Do you see this bouquet man, this monsieur aux camélias, he’s sitting there and laughing at us … […] Well, then, why did I torment him for a whole five years and not let him leave me? As if he was worth it! He’s simply the way he has to be … He’s still going to consider me guilty before him: he brought me up, he kept me like a countess, money, so much money, went on me, he found me an honest husband there, and Ganechka here, and what do you think: I didn’t live with him for five years, but I took his money and thought I was right! I really got myself quite confused! […] Why did I waste my five years in this spite!”

- The Idiot 1.15 (Pevear & Volokhonsky translation)

This quote from Nastasya Filippovna absolutely destroys me and I want to make a second and slightly more coherent attempt at explaining why.

The following text post is potentially triggering, I’m putting it under a cut.

This man stole so much from her—her entire life, really. From the time she was twelve years old, he began to mould and shape her for his own purposes, and then the second she became the age where it was legal (sixteen), he began using her sexually.

(And let me digress for a moment to point out that although it was legal, that doesn’t mean it was just what people did back then. The idea that teenage girls in the 19th century were just being married off to older men left and right is a widespread misconception but decidedly untrue. It would have been highly frowned upon for a man his age to be having a “relationship” with a girl her age—see Raskolnikov’s reaction to Svidrigailov talking about his 16 year old bride-to-be, or the fact that Grushenka is referred to as having been “a child of seventeen” when she was seduced by Musialowicz. People in the past were not so different from us, and they would have had the same reaction to this abuse of power that we do, even if they wouldn’t articulate why it is so damaging in the psychological terms we would use today. And worse still, Totsky was her legal guardian, which gives the whole thing a whiff of incest—incest being a popular gothic trope, and certainly intended by Dostoevsky to elicit horror from the audience.)

A single incident of assault is traumatic enough, but the impact of what happened to Nastasya is just catastrophic. She has absolutely no way of knowing who she would have been without Totsky’s influence, no access to the kind of therapy it would take to try to separate that from herself. She does not even know who she is. By her own words:

“I almost do not exist now and I know it; God knows what lives in me in place of me. ”

- 3.10

So now, it’s her 25th birthday. And she already knows she can expect no apology from Totsky, because this conversation already happened:

[…]he said frankly that he was unable to repent of his initial behavior with her, because he was an inveterate sensualist and not in control of himself […]

-1.4

But she wants, I think, for him to acknowledge or at least begin to comprehend the harm he has caused her. The way that he forever altered her life and her sense of self. Totsky thinks she can be married off and get on with life as though nothing had happened, but that’s not possible for her, and she wants him to acknowledge or at least see that this is the case.

She wants to make him face himself, in the way we saw Avdotya Romanovna manage to do to Svidrigailov in Crime and Punishment.

When he chooses to tell that stupid story about the camelias, she sees once and for all that it’s not possible. Totsky is incapable of examining his own role in her outburst at the party. He is incapable of empathising with her and recognising his culpability, too self-centred to even try to imagine how it must have been to experience his disgusting actions from her perspective.

He is incapable of beginning to understand how damaging it was that she lost her entire family at 8 years old, only to be again uprooted at 12. She had been virtually adopted into this German family, and then one day this older man (who probably made her feel uncomfortable in a confusing way she couldn’t pinpoint) came to visit, and just like that she had to lose her family all over again. To go from a simple life in a busy household full of other children to an isolated, luxurious house with no one but this new governess to teach her all these refined subjects, and a childless widow supervising her. I imagine the complicated emotions she must have felt whenever she thought of that man who was paying for all of this; the confusion and guilt—because surely she should be grateful to this man, right? She would have no way of explaining even to herself any negative feelings he gave rise to in her, any vague unease he might have given her. Nothing concrete had happened yet. And she had no one she could talk to about any of this.

And then when she turned 16, that man came to visit again, and shattered her world even further.

But Totsky is incapable of ever facing up to any of that. When she prevented his marriage five years ago, when she continued to take his money for five years while tormenting and irritating him in every way she could think of, he couldn’t see that as anything but a reflection on her character. As far as he is concerned, she should be grateful to him for the the money he’s spent on her lifestyle and education, and the sexual stuff (abuse!!!) just shouldn’t be that big of a deal. He’s a sensualist—he can’t help it. Why is she making such an issue?

When, at this party, she tries to wrest at least some semblance of power back into her own hands, from his perspective, she is simply making a scene. To him, she is a beautiful woman who tragically went mad. To Totsky, it is simply an unfortunate shame.

So in the above quote, we see her coming to the realisation that Totsky was never worth her pain and spite and rage. He will never introspect, he will never reflect, he will never change. The bouquet man is not capable. This is what he is, and he will never be anything else.

And now she sees only one place she can turn that rage, that destructive impulse: onto her own self.

[footballxixstars]

I think some german readers are happy now since you‘re okay with writing about Florian Wirtz :)

He posted a Story on Instagram where he‘s on vacation at the moment, so maybe one where it‘s your first trip together and he randomly says thank you for supporting/encourage him during the last months because of his bad injury

Take your time with writing if you have to do some researching first! :) I think he‘s a very calm and chill guy

This Is A Thank You • Florian Wirtz

The season has been a tough one for both you and Florian. Florian had unfortunately got an injury in March, a cruciate ligament rupture, meaning that he has been out ever since and to make it even worse it was his first major injury. He’s had little injuries before that have kept him out for a game or two at a time however this was the first time he was going to be out for a prolonged period of time and even miss half of a season. The fact he was missing so many games was making Florian feel really uneasy because so much could happen during that time and he can’t do anything to alter what happens. The person who starts the games because Florian is out may do amazing and then Florian no longer has a position within the team or when he comes back he may no longer be as good as before his injury. There are so many things that can happen during this time so obviously, Florian is going to be uneasy. He has no control right now.

During that time you were his absolute rock. Whenever he was down you’d always be the first to talk to him and find various ways to cheer him up and distract him from football and his injury even if it was for an hour or so. Anything was better than him pouting about his injury for months upon months. It felt like you were the only person that he would listen to and even talk to about his struggles so obviously you were his rock during this whole ordeal and you never minded that. What made your support even better for him was that the two of you had only begun dating in September of the previous year, so 6 months before the injury occurred and you were still there for him. You hadn’t once walked away when he was really upset and doubting whether he would be able to come back or when he would sometimes get angry at you for no reason just because he was scared. You were always there for him.

From that moment he knew that he had to do something huge to thank you for all of the support and encouragement that you gave him. From that moment he knew that you deserved the world and so much more that he couldn’t give you but he was going to try. Whatever his brain could come up with he was going to do. You deserve to be spoiled and that is exactly what he is planning to do.

“How about going on a trip?” Florian asked you one day. At first you were confused because you thought that he couldn’t travel far because of his physiotherapy and all that but when he started to explain to you that he could do it online and as long as somebody was around to watch him and help him if need be then his trainer said it was fine. After some consideration and verification from his trainer, not that you didn’t believe Florian but it was nice to get verification from a professional, and as soon as you did you agreed to go on this trip with him. Why not? It’ll be a lot of fun to go away with him for a couple of days and just relax, especially after the past few months which have been a really tough time for the both of you.

After that conversation nothing else really got said about the trip except from Florian telling you dates so you could be ready and get the days off from work. You trust Florian to pick a good place and a place where you are both able to relax whilst he can carry on with his physiotherapy too. A place where there is nice food, both restaurants and things you are able to cook yourself, a place that has nice scenery around, that you won’t get bored of and can just enjoy, a place with nice weather, to relax and just take in the sun. There wasn’t a lot that you wanted and you trust Florian enough to pick a decent place for the both of you. Would that be a mistake? You are yet to see.

Slowly the day crept up and before you knew it you were on a plane flying to some remote destination that Florian had picked out. You were excited about it as it was your first trip away together and it was just the two of you too. It would be nice for Florian to be able to take his mind and not focus on the injury which was getting better day by day and it would just be nice for you to get out of the country for a little bit. Whether it is only a couple of days or a couple of weeks, any time will be nice.

And it was nice. He had rented this nice place for the both of you where there was a private pool and only a short walk away from the local market and shops and beach too so it was localised and easily accessible for Florian to walk even with his injury. Along with that the small place that he had rented had its own private gym too so Florian could do his workouts without being bombarded by people or feeling rushed too. It was a good pick. A very good pick from Florian and you can see yourself allowing Florian to pick the place of your next holiday together.

“Can we go out for a meal tonight at one of the local restaurants?” Florian asked you and he sounded pretty nervous about it too.

“Of course,” You stated, quite excited by that idea. It would be nice to go out and around the local area and eat some of their cuisine to try it out. It’s always fun to try new foods and you were excited to get out of the villa for a couple of hours with him. It would just be different than sitting inside and cooking for yourself or just heating up pre-made meals for Florian. A nice little date for both of you and you did get dressed up for it. Not a lot but just enough to know the difference between your usual wear and the fact it’s a special occasion so a little dressed up yet still comfortable. It was going to be nice.

Florian had picked out a lovely local restaurant, just a couple minutes' walk from the villa which was perfect considering Florian’s injury. The scenery around the place was absolutely stunning. It was the kind of scenery that you would never find in a touristy location or the hustle and bustle of a city. (Not that the scenery is bad in major cities or touristy locations, it’s just different and a change). It wasn’t modernised like the majority of the world is nowadays as it was clearly still in the original building and maybe a few structural bits were added to make sure that it meets the safety standards but it was still the original building which was built hundreds of years ago. Along with that, the inside wasn’t modernised either it matched the outside aesthetic wonderfully. It was a really lovely place and you’re glad that Florian managed to take you here for a mini date. Hopefully the food is as nice as the place looks and if the busyness of the place is anything to go by then you’re certain the food will hold up to your expectations.

The atmosphere around the place was calming just what you want it to be like when you go out for a romantic meal with your other half. A lot of other romantic restaurants are hectic so this one being all calm was nice. Even though it was quite busy, thankfully Florian put in a reservation, it still had a calming atmosphere and it wasn’t loud so you were able to talk to Florian without having to raise your voice at all. If there's one thing that you’ve noticed since dating Florian it’s that he’s good at picking locations for dates.

The two of you constantly talked and laughed together only stopping when the waiter came over but as soon they left the conversation sparked up again. It was always easy to talk to Florian about literally anything. If or when there were silences between you it was never awkward it was comfortable and that was something that you loved about hanging out with Florian since the beginning. The silence would never last very long either since you or Florian would come up with something else utterly random to have a conversation about and even if the conversation topic was one neither of you really understood or were into you still managed to converse in conversation with each other because it was highly likely the other person was into it and you both want to learn about each other's interests and hobbies. Even after dating for a few months there were still many hobbies and interests to learn about each other so those are easy conversations to start up. This time it was Florian’s turn to start one up. Not that you take turns.

“I just want to thank you for everything that you’ve done for me during my injury,” He started off by saying to you. As he was speaking he was trying to think of the perfect words then but he quickly realised there were no perfect words for it. There were no words to describe how thankful he was for your support and encouragement through the tough months. The holiday was one way to thank you but he knows that you deserve more than that and he will give you more than that.

“I love you and this injury has just made me realise how much and how lucky I am to actually have you by my side,” Florian continued but this time staring at you directly in your eyes and not anywhere else letting you know how truthful he was being. To let you know how much he really does appreciate you and everything that you have done for him, especially during this difficult period. He just knows that without you by his side it would’ve been so much worse to deal with so he had to thank you. This was only the beginning of the thank you, he’d thank you more a bit later and then again properly when he is fully healed.

“I love you too,” You whispered back leaning over the table, so Florian didn’t have to strain his injury anymore, just to place a kiss against his lips. There was no need to thank you for anything because you were doing what you should do for the person you love when they’re hurting and injured. It’s just the basics but it did feel nice to feel appreciated by him. You were going to take it all in and enjoy your first holiday with Florian. Your first holiday alone together. Hopefully the first of many.

———

MASTERLIST | MORE WIRTZ

[blorbocedes]

hi nicologist blorbie, i like nico but i find his media personality kinda... too polished? like george russell but with more personality. like he's doing a performance but maybe it's just his overly therapized self-awareness. ur thoughts?

hshdjdj hello anon... welcome to the pantheon of the same complaint nico has faced his whole life 😫😭 from 2013-2016, to all the way back in Williams he was called ranging from "doesn't have a sense of humour/too German" to "too stoic/wooden/PR focused" the George Russell before George Russell. let's break down your question

the 2016 media narrative was actually "Lewis Hamilton parties every week vs Nico Rosberg has given up all pleasures to life to eat oatmeal and train" and their press con pictures were Nico being 😶. couple that when he was put against the other German on the grid, the naturally charismatic and joking seb vet, nico absolutely came across as a stick up his ass.

now, obviously, as you have called me a nicologist I'm going to have a biased take. let's talk about media personalities -- everyone has them. even the most animated of blorbos, daniel playing up being funny, lewis with his peace and love, even fernando refusing to explain what el plan is everytime 😈 (this is a man who owns being a menace)

some people refuse to play into theirs as much, like max, and accordingly the media characterises him as blunt/straightforward/harsh. the media is nicer to you when you work with them, which is why Daniel is such a media darling and the face of DTS, despite not being a top 5 race contender.

nico has always been aware of how he's perceived. there's a will buxton article about it that's pretty fascinating. even before entering f1, he knew he'd be World Champion's Son and his media personality while he was a driver reflected that; diplomatic, uncontroversial, says the right and boring thing (and yes, even lying about it 🤭 my darling care has the receipts). my fav nico moments are when he'd break off it a bit — the iconic "if Lewis wants to change something then he can drive cleanly himself" agdjjd while jenson went O_O [obv media personality =/= how they actually are]

present day nico, as an f1 commentator, I'm very curious what your idea of polished media personality is. cause to me, that means someone who is milquetoast, wouldn't rock the boat, impersonal and says the 'right' thing. nico is the guy who said Ferrari's current strategy team is worse than an F2/F3 team live on air 😭 (as he should), the guy who asked lando point blank what the difference is between p3 and p4 (who didn't know 😭 bless his heart), who said yeah why should max go into a corner thinking lewis is gonna miss the apex

peak rosberg shit stirring hehe

I actually don't even agree with nico always, like for instance when he said merc should've prioritised lewis over george in dutch (?) gp. like don't make me defend george but he was right on his call for softs and prioritising His race, but that's whatever

not a huge fan of the term overly therapized~ cause a lot of Nico insults is "this man needs to go to therapy" and when they find out he HAS they're like "this man has had Too Much therapy" like 😭😭😭 he cannae win...... I do call him the most therapized man of all time, but that's gentle ribbing. when people say it anonymously w/o any way for me to extrapolate intent I'm a bit hm 🤥

cause like if he was saying things like emotional labour and 'speaking my truth' that claim would have more weight... but you know who Would say things like that? [redacted] 🔫

coming back to your question. every f1 driver is doing a performance with their public persona, some are better some are worse. Nico is no longer in f1 as a driver and doesn't need to be careful and measured anymore, and To Me is one of the few fun personalities in f1 as a commentator. you can totally disagree cause it's a matter of personal preference.

Post retirement Nico, having a YouTube channel for Years and playing into the memes (his ig comments are a nightmare of the same equal machinery joke) is perhaps more aware than most how people see him. he also doesn't need to care as much, he can laugh at himself -- at his own expense. he even posted what is essentially a taking L's compilation

if his polished persona is coming across as a cringe girldad who is way too excited about electric cars then by god he's the greatest male manipulator out there

obv if you find him too curated/inauthentic that's your prerogative, but I I would ask; have you actually watched the guy or are you going off public consciousness/someone else's interpretation. i wish he was as conniving and calculating now as people gave him credit for, unfort this is a dude who geeks out over finding a charging station in Italy.

love him, hate him, you can't deny he's fun

[herrlindemann]

Sonic Seducer - July 2015, interview with Till and Peter

Youth-threatening Teutonic Roc bogeyman for some, almost cult-like revered New German Hardship light figure for others: In the development of German-language music, no one has polarized the masses to an even remotely comparable extent as Rammstein singer Till Lindemann and his troupe. After firing on all cylinders at the boundaries of good taste with his infamous cult formation over the last two decades and, at the same time, mastering the rise to become the most successful local rock act, the notorious industrial metal oddball is now also catching up with his English-language solo project 'Skills In Pills' dirty grin for the next general attack on morals and customs.

He almost took part in the Olympic Games as a competitive swimmer in the early 1980s; After his apprenticeship as a basket maker, Till Lindemann has been one of the most controversial singers and lyricists in the German-speaking music landscape since the end of the 90s at the latest. Someone for whom nothing and no one is obviously sacred: a devious pyromaniac who sets himself on fire on stage while he loves to talk about taboo topics that grab headlines such as necrophilia, cannibalism, drug abuse or sex in all love and life situations. Hot iron in the truest sense, some of which can also be found on Lindemann's solo debut: On 'Skills In Pills' the Berliner has teamed up with his long-time friend and Hypocrisy/Pain mastermind Peter Tägtgren, who combines Lindemann's darkly erotic adult fairy tale with the corresponding atmospheric, hard industrial -Metal substructure supports. Till Lindemann and Peter Tägtgren in a not always entirely serious conversation about pill madness, bizarre fetishes and failed family planning.

The lyrics on 'Skills In Pills' are quite controversial and will definitely make headlines here and there. Will the record also be released in English-speaking countries and available there in a clean version?

Till: The record will be released worldwide. I don't know yet if some songs might need to be toned down. Maybe we need to change the word cunt to aunt. With Rammstein it's almost a kind of tradition that people are always indignant. I'm already used to it. This time it will certainly not be worse than with Rammstein.

With English-language texts throughout, this time there may even be worldwide scolding! Is it at least a little intentional to piss off the audience with such offensive lyrics?

Till: No, it just happens. The lyrics arise as they arise, not out of any need to stand out or piss off anyone. Even if I wanted to express it in a different way, it always only comes out the way people know it from me (laughs). I can't do anything about it. There's always a wink somewhere in my songs. If people don't understand the humor, there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not forcing anyone to buy the record.

Is it important to you today that your humor is understood?

Till: Until about ten years ago, it wasn't important to me that I was properly understood. It was important to me what people thought and how they perceived me. Today I'm more relaxed. Not to say: I don't care at all whether people understand me correctly.

Peter: If you don't understand the humor on this album, then you have a serious problem. Everything on this record can of course be understood with a grin. In my opinion there is a really brilliant artist behind it who can juggle words very well. There are also some serious songs like ‘Home Sweet Home’ which is about cancer. But the majority of them like ‘Cowboys’ or ‘Golden Shower’ are really not serious. Funny adult stories.

Can you identify 100 percent with the lyrics?

Peter: Absolutely. I think every man can do it. Maybe not necessarily complete with the lyrics of ‘Golden Shower’; Personal preferences tend to differ. But the rest has a really good sense of humor.

And maybe the transgender song 'Ladyboy' doesn't mean you?

Peter: I hope not!

Till: You have no idea...

Do you ever wonder what's going on in Till's head?

Peter: Sometimes, but if I'm honest, I don't really want to know. I see what he's singing about. Maybe some things shouldn't be said at all.

Till: It was such an intense time. Peter knows me extremely well now.

The album sounds like a lot of fun in the studio - like a real man's record.

Peter: Oh yes, I can only confirm that. We really had a good time while working on the songs.

How did the recordings go? You both are known as passionate party makers who like to have a blast!

Till: (laughs)

Peter: It wasn't that intense. Both of us can definitely handle a beer or two and a few whiskeys on top of that. Let's put it this way: first comes work, then comes pleasure. We can both be very disciplined when it counts. We share the attitude that you shouldn't waste time unnecessarily, but rather get things done as quickly as possible and then celebrate properly.

Which of you can tolerate more?

Peter: We haven't tried that yet, but we'll find out. We tried to drown our new record label. The result was that I was the first one down.

How would you describe Till? His strengths, his weaknesses?

Peter: A guy with a million ideas. So far I have always been the driving force in my projects - this time it was a very nice feeling that someone else took the reins. I think Till is more determined and ambitious than me. I think we complement each other quite well. We didn't have to fight each other in the studio to impose a certain opinion, but we could always agree on what was best for a song.

Till: Peter compensates for my weaknesses with his strengths. We are like plus and minus. And vice versa. But it works really, really well. Peter played all the instruments. All I had to do was finish my lyrics, travel up to his studio and sing everything. I would consider my use of words to be my greatest strength. Peter and I are the so-called perfect match.

What was the most difficult part of creating this album?

Peter: Everything except the lyrics and the music! The songs basically composed themselves. Then of course there is the ugly side, which no longer has anything to do with the music and is all about business. That's always the moment when it starts to get annoying. That was a real downer. Lindemann was originally planned as a purely leisure activity, as a kind of holiday hobby or perhaps as group therapy. We couldn't have known at the beginning that everything would degenerate like this and develop into a big thing. People caught wind of it and everything got bigger and bigger from then on. We are both artists, we prefer to have nothing to do with the business side.

Were there big discussions about the pieces?

Peter: Actually everything went pretty smoothly, but there were still some tracks that were pretty hard to crack and that neither of us were really happy with for a long time.

Till: Peter is this type of real metalhead who always has a guitar in his hands and is constantly strumming something to himself. Fortunately, he had no intention of including any solos in the songs. I hate solos. Right from the start he was really thundering on the guitar - I even had to rein him in a little at times. I'm more of a gothic person: atmospheric keyboards, slow bass and everything a little more atmospheric. Pianos, strings… Peter can arrange that very well too. Nevertheless, I sometimes had to cool down his metalhead spirit a little so that a song could develop in a relaxed manner.

No disagreements regarding content at Lindemann?

Peter: Few. Of course I have a different musical background than Till. But the more songs we wrote together, the easier it became. At some point something clicked and we understood what we wanted and how we needed to go about it.

Aren't you worried that your collaboration with Till will be held against you in tight-knit metal circles?

Peter: No, absolutely not. When you start making music young, you feel like you have to fight everyone and everything to prove yourself. Today I don't have to prove anything anymore, I just do what I want. If I get the idea to record a blues album, then I record a blues album. You should only listen to what you want to do yourself and not pay attention to what others might think or expect of you.

Till, did you ever feel like you had to prove yourself with Rammstein? Rammstein appeared so confident right from the start.

Till: Every young artist feels like they have to prove themselves. You're always under a certain amount of pressure to improve from time to time. Even today. We certainly exude a certain self-confidence. But this is not God-given, but is based on many different creative processes.

You recently explained in an interview that you would have liked to hide in the early days of Rammstein and found your role as frontman rather unpleasant. Seems like you've gotten used to being the center of attention.

Till: I'm actually not that concerned with being in the spotlight or the focus. With Lindemann I'm just fulfilling this agreement, which was filled with a lot of Jägermeister, to do a joint project with Peter at some point. Originally I just wanted to record a song and put it online. Peter said he would like to write a whole album together. Then we started working on the next track and after a short time we had five pieces finished. So we thought about an EP. But then we had so much fun that we worked on more pieces. It just bubbled out of us.

In your opinion, do you communicate different things in English today in a different way than you would in Rammstein or in German?

Till: I haven't thought about that yet.

Peter: For me it's easier to express myself in English than in Swedish. Even if I'm talking to a Swede! Sometimes you just use English terms because you can express things quicker and easier than in your native language.

Would you also sing these lyrics in German?

Till: No, definitely not. My message from the start was: If I ever started a side project, it would definitely not be in German. That would be too much competition and friction with Rammstein. Rammstein is Rammstein, Lindemann is in English and I feel extremely comfortable with that. At first I wasn't so sure whether I should actually do it because my English isn't very good and you can still hear the German in me.

Peter: I said from the beginning that I found his pronunciation very appropriate. The rawer and edgier, the better. It would sound very strange if Till Lindemann sang the lyrics in perfect, slurred American instead of his rolling pronunciation. That wouldn't be Till.

Instead of English, you learned Russian at school in the old GDR - would an album in Russian also be conceivable?

Till: It would definitely be a challenge. I probably couldn't do it off the cuff, but would need to brush up on some things and need someone to help me with the lyrics. But an album in Russian is conceivable. Maybe even very soon! It would also be worth considering making a record in many different languages such as French, Spanish, Italian etc. I speak a little Spanish. We've already done Spanish songs with Rammstein.

Your first attempts at non-German were with Rammstein. Have you already tested what it would sound like?

Till: The record company back then wanted us to do “Du hast” and “Engel” in English. Why we did ‘Pussy’ and ‘Amerika’ in English is a mystery to me today.

What did you discover about your artistic abilities while working on ‘Skills In Pills’?

Till: I was very surprised that everything worked out so well. Before our project, I listened to Richard's [Kruspe, Rammstein guitarist] album. We are both from the East. Richard fled before the Berlin Wall came down. We met in Berlin sometime after the fall of the Berlin Wall, before he moved to New York. Suddenly he spoke English fluently and also started making music in English. I really admired that. Above all, I admired his courage in taking this step. And it was a big step from a boy from a small town in East Germany to suddenly making English-language music in New York City. I was proud of him and wondered if I could do the same. But it was crystal clear to me that I would sing in German for the rest of my life. Because people like it. There were many voices who asked that Rammstein never sing anything in English.

People have always wondered about your texts, how much autobiography there is in them. This also applies to the new, sometimes quite revealing to coarse lyrics like 'Ladyboy', 'Golden Shower' or 'Fat'.

Till: A lot. I don't have anything more to say about it. I don't want to explain the lyrics too much.

Is writing a form of self-therapy for you?

Till: It's definitely a good thing. Sometimes it feels good to talk about certain things. Not always, but in certain situations. When someone very close to you dies, it can be very liberating to write about it. When you wrap it up in music as beautiful as Peter's, of course it's all the more beautiful.

What are the lyrics to the title track of ‘Skills In Pills’?

Peter: Of course it's about this society in which people pop a different pill for every occasion: one to sleep, one to stay awake, one for a headache, one to last longer. Pills, pills and more pills. At the same time, you condemn drugs, but you don't count all these pills, while they are almost as addictive and just as harmful. Of course, a headache pill isn't comparable to coke, heroin or marijuana, but at the end of the day they're just drugs.

What is your favorite pill?

Till: The blue one (laughs).

You've already caused a stir with your first outtake 'Praise Abort' - a single about the 'blessings of abortion'. You obviously like making enemies!

Peter: Definitely our families. But seriously: all people who feel offended by this text should get in line! But that's just the way it is: Some people don't really think about it before they start a family. You may have never heard of condoms or other forms of contraception, bang all day and end up sitting with a whole bunch of kids. Then the woman cheats and everything goes down the drain. You're kind of digging your own grave.

Till: Some people are really irresponsible with their children. They want children, but don't know how to raise them, how to teach them things and prepare them for life. And in the end there are only freaks running around outside, as you can often see.

[swoosbadfuture]

ian and erin headcanons . hi im sane

Ian

Barely scraping 5’7

Half Canadian on his mom’s side

Bisexual, male pref

Straight A* student all aside from literature in which he barely has a B. Do not mention literature to him ever he’ll go mad

superiority complex . start the clown music . he needs to prove he’s the best always because if he isn’t the best then he’s automatically the worst

Very very autistic + low empathy. Prefers logic > emotion . Has a kind of “im not the weird one everyone else is weird I’m the normal one” view by accident

Complete Mama’s boy. you would never expect it but he is her little boy through and through

Gets along well w his dad too but they have very similar personalities and kinda clash a lot . Similar ideals just both very argumentative n stubborn . But god they will sit and listen to music for hours and just go full autism mode over it

Both his parents are very chill though. They are also both goths n r very proud of Ian

He's an only child

Voice breaks the moment he shows any emotion he’ll be talking normally n then get emotional n his voice just 📈

Speaking of which he is overly emotional and very bad at expressing it . very volatile person

Loyal to a fault and very justice oriented but also kinda holds these values to everyone without realising not everyone has the same morals . He doesn’t quite Get that not everyone is the same as him

Overprotective in a way that sometimes comes across as possessive . He’s not possessive he just has issues okay 💔

Phobia of the ocean and everything in it u will never see him on a boat ever he’d rather Die

Was good friends with Jason in kindergarten but kinda drifted apart from him as Jason got closer with Kevin. Kevin and Ian have never liked eachother insult eachother mercilessly. Poor Jason had to sit there and watch as they tried to beat eachother to a pulp. You can tell Kevin hates Ian because he rarely ever calls him by his first name

has a boyfriend in secret. Very much denies it. Only Erin and his parents know and he is trying so very hard to not let the secret out

Wants OUT of McKinley so bad . doesn’t even care abt changing his last name. I imagine McKinley is probably a bit of a small suburban town thats a bit of a bedroom community. The theme park is probably more well known than the town itself. Ian knows that if he just moves a few towns over then the name association will Go Away

Wanted to do astrophysics at college :) thinks space is cool as fuck

Resting face is worse than bitch he looks like he’s about to commit a murder in cold blood . Cold stare 0 emotions. And then suddenly he smiles and he’s just :D

Must stick to a consistent sleep schedule or else he’s a delusional nightmare

Stronger than he looks but would also probably crumple into 1000 pieces if he stubbed his toe

Likes horror movies but is lowkey a bit squeamish . would never admit it though. His favourite movie is Saw 2004 and he has to look away at all the gorey parts

Erin

5���8 and uses this 1 inch she has over Ian for Everything.

German ancestry on her dad’s side but doesn really know much about it besides that It’s There

Bisexual w pref for girls .

She/they nonbinary

Dyed her hair blue once and the ends are still kinda stained . Doesn’t care to cut it off because she thinks it looks cool (it does (it absolutely does))

Actual straight A* student and again uses this against Ian and teases him about his many struggles with Shakespeare

Collects bones n skulls n animal pelts and etc. Owns a few taxidermy animals .

Also very autistic n relates a lot to Ian bc of it

Is actually fairly good at socialising! just hates people

Parents do not understand the whole goth thing but are trying their best . Yes they did freak out when Erin brought home a taxidermy rat she got while out with Ian at an arts fair but oh well what can you do

Used to do figure skating when she was young !! still very confident at ice skating n likes to show off whenever she goes compared to Ian whos constantly falling on his ass. Let her have her moments of glory she deserves them.

The one who does the nail polish. Hence why hers is always perfect and Ian’s is always chipped bc she can always touch hers up whenever she needs to and Ian Cannot

Very aware of Ian’s superiority complex absolutely humbles him every chance she gets

Kinda obsessed w shitty low budget horror movies and indie films

Absolutely adores the art of SFX and fake gore / blood / etc n loved doing it herself. Halloween was her favourite holiday and she’d always go all out with it. Or would grab Ian and make him sit there for 2 hours. “come here sit down I need to see how realistically I can make your hand look like it’s been mauled” “Erin ew what the fuck”

Crush on Wendy that she’d never ever admit to. Only Ian knows and they have a deal where if he doesn’t spill about her crush she won’t spill about his boyfriend. Problem solved (they’re at eachother’s necks over it)

Makes friendship bracelets for her friends. Rest in peace Erin Ulmer you wouldve loved the Loom Bands craze of 2014

the both of them

Social rejects but they own it ™️ . Will literally take in anyone who’s also a bit of a ‘weird kid’ and convert them to goth subculture

Unfortunately this happens never it really do just kinda be the two of them vs the world huh

Dated for like a week once in sophomore year. Broke up immediately after their first kiss and decided they’d just pretend it never happened and that that 1 week of their lives just doesn’t exist. Did not happen ❤️

That being said though RAAAH WHAT ARE THE BOUNDS OF FRIENDSHIP. They hug and cuddle and hold hands and kiss cheeks constantly even if only as friends. Very physically affectionate though partially kinda to fuck with people who can’t seem to understand what the hell is going on with them both

“Oh yeah look at us nobody thinks we’re queer” “Ian we’re goth we might as well have it tattooed on our foreheads” “Fucks sake I can’t have shit in the 21st century”

Friendly banter is fucking insane they are just straightup insulting eachother. You know that one Gumball meme where Gumball is in hospital after being hit by a bus and he gets a card from Darwin saying “that bus should’ve ended you. love Darwin” that’s them that’s them that is them

They care eachother so much they are just bad at vocalising it so if they arent sitting there hugging they instead feel the need to be aggressively mean to eachother in loving and caring way

Erin is way more grounded and has more common sense than Ian who meanwhile is batshit insane at times and will 100% do crazy shit for the hell of it

Both of them rockin up to the town next door w their fake IDs to buy a months worth of R rated movies (fool proof plan (Ian almost got arrested once))

If only they had been around when Vine came out …. they would’ve been famous i tell u

[33max]

I would love to hear all the zillion little Max headcanons

🤗🤗

Yeah? 🥺 idk why it’s so much easier for me to post little headcanons publicly than it is to talk to my friends about them, I guess its cause it’s like… people can just avoid them if they’re boring rather than feel forced to talk to me idk idk idk

Anyway here’s some Maxy headcanons…

- When he’s little he is a chronic oversharer, like he tells Daniel the funniest things! “Oops I sneezed and farted” and “my butt is itchy” and “daddy my boxers are uncomfy” - but Daniel likes it because it means Maxy is happy to tell him anything ♥️

- In Daniel’s LA house Maxy has a playroom! It’s safari themed, there’s a huge rug on the floor with lots of different animals on and also many bean bags!

- Max’s sensory issues are worse when he’s little, he hides them very well as an adult, and it’s something Daniel didn’t even realise until they started this dynamic. Daniel does a lot of research and buys Max weighted plushies and noise cancelling headphones.

- Maxy once accidentally poked Michael in the eye, and he felt so bad about it that he cried into Michael’s shoulder for half an hour and then brought every single plushie he owns out to give Michael a kissy.

- One time Maxy ordered a pizza from Daniel’s phone, pretended it was an accident for all of about 2 seconds, and then WAILED AND SAID “NO IM SORRY I DID IT I DID IT I WANTED PIZZA” and Daniel has to try not to laugh while telling Maxy he’s such a good boy for telling the truth, and Daddy isn’t mad.

- He mixes up his English/Dutch/German sometimes and it leaves Daniel very confused.

- He’s an absolute feral Maxy sometimes, it’s basically the Maxy version of the zoomies, and Daniel knows with 100% certainty that Maxy will probably try to tackle him into a cuddle at some point.

- He doesn’t like minty toothpaste, Daniel has to buy a special one for when Maxy is little!

I have more but for now… here you go! ♥️♥️♥️

[someone-you-do-not-know]

uh, i don't know if I can even request, but

fluff about Cupid Romano falling for Spain? ITS STUPD I KNOW

Ask and you shall receive– Honestly though, sorry about the wait! I hope you like this, even if it's not the fluffiest.

Lovino hated this assignment. He hated what he did in general, but this assignment was the worst one as of yet. As a cupid, he was tasked to sort out the affairs of love and hate between humans. When someone was being mistreated, he or one of his brothers were the ones who would help the human understand what was going on, turning them to hate, and when two people were getting a little closer than usual, they were the ones to help them along, turning the budding feelings into love. Lovino hated that part. He hated this strange concept called love, which he had never himself experienced, yet was to force upon others. He often wondered if the humans even liked it, because he was absolutely sure he would not.

Now, this particular assignment was worse than the others. Usually, there was some instructions on who was meant to fall in love or hate with who, but this one time, the assignment was just a red arrow for love, and a name: Antonio Fernández Carriedo. That was the man he had been stalking following for the last month. Lovino swore he really was trying to do his job right, but this man was impossible. Every time Lovino was convinced he had found the right match for him, just as he had nocked the arrow on his bowstring, drawn the bow and taken aim–

He could not fire it off.

It was not as if there was no one to pick from. Antonio, this mortal fool, had infuriatingly many friends. Lovino had considered that loudmouth German, the blonde flirt, the pretty lady, the prissy guy Antonio attended piano recitals for, even that guy Antonio kept getting into fights with.

But every single time, Lovino could not do it. Every time, he thought that it would end in eventual heartbreak and Lovino did not want to ruin a beautiful friendship. So instead, he waited and bided his time.

As he waited, it was hard not to notice how annoying Antonio’s laugh was; he laughed a lot. His hair was always a mess, like he had never learned how to use a comb, and Lovino hated how his knees turned into goo every time Antonio smiled. Antonio was a simple man, and he led a simple life. It would be boring for Lovino to follow him without anything to focus on, so he had begun to make snide comments about the man he was supposed to find love for.

“Are you really that stupid? She’s asking you on a date,” or “If you really hate him so much, you can just stop seeing him, dumbass,” even “Stop falling for these stupid pranks, or I’ll have to do… something!”

Occasionally, Lovino took a break from failing his assignment to see his twin brother, but even then, Antonio was never far from his mind. Antonio’s ugly haircut, horrible fashion sense, and stunning green eyes which would never look at Lovino.

“Lovi, are you even listening?”

No, he had not been listening. “Feli, what the fuck do you want me to say?”

“Ve, I was just saying… are you still working on that assignment? Because I heard some of the others talk about how it shouldn’t take that long for a final assignment – you got yours before I got mine, and I already finished mine. Is your human really nasty, and that’s why you can’t find anyone for him to fall in love with?”

“Shut up!” Lovino yelled, the vehemency of his outburst surprising himself as well as his brother, “He’s not… he’s not nasty. He’s really fucking annoying though.”

“That’s more reason to finish faster, isn’t it? Then you won’t have to see him all the time.”

Lovino felt like an arrow had just plunged itself into his chest. “I’m just trying to do it right, stupid. That shit takes time.”

“Sorry… I just don’t want you to get in trouble for taking too long.”

Lovino did not particularly want to get in trouble either, and it was starting to be embarrassing. Antonio had to fall in love, and it was Lovino’s job to make it happen. Who it was, was not all that important. It was not like he could invoke everlasting love, only induce the beginnings of love – what the humans did with it. So the next time Antonio was hanging out with that blonde girl who always flirted with him, Lovino had made up his mind. He needed to get this assignment over with.

“So, Antonio, are you really sure there’s no one you like?”

Antonio smiled sheepishly, “No, there isn’t. Maybe I’m just not meant for a relationship.”

“I don’t believe that one bit. Maybe you just don’t put yourself out enough.”

“But you know how shy I am.” Antonio teased, there was nothing shy about him.

They both laughed. Antonio was a perfect target, his broad shoulders right in front of Lovino, and all Lovino had to do was let go. Antonio would fall in love with his friend, they would live out a romance of some kind, and Lovino was sure they would be happy for years and years and years. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine it, filling the arrow with good luck for Antonio’s relationship as he accepted that he would never see the human ever again.

“But you know, sometimes, it almost feels like there is. Like someone’s really close, and any second I’ll meet them. That probably sounds really stupid…”

Lovino blinked, his eyes were unfocused. He had not noticed when tears had started welling up in his eyes and running down his cheeks. If he let go, he would never see Antonio again. Never. It was so final in his mind. He hated being around Antonio, but he hated the thought of never seeing him again even more. Seeing Antonio and that girl laugh and joke and smile made something ugly rear its head within him, and all of this felt so sudden. He had spent months and months observing Antonio, looking at him, learning about him, but Antonio did not even know he existed. “… Look at me! Fucking– just once, would you fucking look at me?”

Antonio could not hear him nor could he see him, cupids were invisible to the human senses. Even so, something had made Antonio turn around, facing the direction where Lovino stood with his bow outstretched. He was looking right through Lovino, and the arrow in Lovino’s heart plunged itself deeper in as Antonio saw right through him. Being treated like air, because that was what he was to humans, hurt so much when it was Antonio who did it.

Was this what he made the humans feel? 

He was not sure, but he wanted those eyes to look at him, and that voice to call his name. With a swift movement, he took the arrow meant for Antonio off his bowstring and snapped it against his knee. It broke in two with ease. He could never finish this assignment, and he knew it. The strange uneasy feeling in his gut finally seemed to settle itself with that realisation.

He knew looking at Antonio and never being seen by him would never be enough, but continuing to be air was not enough either. That same evening, Lovino had made up his mind, he knew what he wanted. Ruffling the feathers of his left wing one last time, stretching and folding it, he prepared himself for what would happen next – what it would be like to fall. Sucking in a last breath as a cupid, he tightened his grip around the skin connecting his left wing to his shoulder blade, and said his goodbyes.

…

No longer able to pass through walls, he took a deep breath to prepare himself before ringing the doorbell. He was sure he looked pathetic, standing in his cupid clothing with blood still dripping from his left shoulder blade, but he did not care about any of that. He could barely feel the pain as his wish was turning him human, rapidly disguising his remaining wing. He hoped for the best.

The door swung open, and Antonio saw him.

[inversionimpulse]

so a propos of absolutely nothing, I was thinking about Doctor Who.

Turn Left, specifically.

"'Labor camps'... that's what they called them last time. It's happening again," even more specifically.

As far as I've seen, most people online connected that to the nazis and the holocaust. But my family has a history with labor camps, and that's not what I heard in that scene.

I heard echoes of "No Japs from the Rockies to the seas."

During WW2, here in Canada where I write from, 850 German-Canadians, 700 Italian-Canadians, and 22000 Japanese Canadians were forced out of their homes and into labor camps, sometimes straight into POW camps and frequently separated from their families, by our government. People were made to live in literal stables and barns, or else build their own homes from nearly nothing. They were forced to do back-breaking work for below-subsistence money - and they did indeed have to pay for the privilege of being treated like animals. The government "took temporary custody" of every single thing the Japanese prisoners owned and sold them for fractions of their material value, never mind sentimental value. When it was all over, they were tossed out the other side of the affair with not a single thing to their names but the trauma and, for the Japanese, eviction from the west coast where most of them lived - for some, from the country entirely.

This was neither the start nor the end of the persecution of German, Italian, and Japanese Canadians.

"The Italian South Peasant is not the type we are looking for in Canada."

"Take them back to Japan. They do not belong here, and here, and there is only one solution to the problem."

My grandmother and grandfather, second-generation Japanese immigrants, survived those camps. My family still suffers the repercussions as generational trauma.

I don't know if there was anything similar in Britain. I'd assume so, but I'm not going to check because I'm only partly talking about if this is a supportable interpretation of the writing, I'm mostly talking about how it resonated with me. (but I don't think the victims in the show being an Italian family was a coincidence)

It is certainly worse to be a nazi than the people behind the internment for whom there isn't a catchy name. I'm not about to say that the suffering my family and all those other Japanese, German, and Italian families were put through compares in any way to the suffering of Jewish families in nazi territory. But the meaning behind Wilf's horror takes a very different edge depending on who you see behind it. And I personally think that "We're becoming like Them, we're being corrupted" is a much weaker horror than "We're still like Us, we haven't learned better at all" In fact when contrasted like that, the former looks almost like the fear of being infected by the Other that caused the internment camps to begin with.

The latter, on the other hand, forces us to contend with the fact that there is no Them. We, all we humans, are Us. The existence of Them is mere illusion, and fear of it makes us commit a grand and abstract sort of suicide.

It's a message that Doctor Who frequently tries to convey and sometimes bungles. In fact it is a message that so many different things try to convey so frequently that it has become a little bit trite. But it's a message to be proud of, especially when you can deliver it so viciously and powerfully.

[toubledrouble]

Since you guys seem to like my chem teacher, I might just introduce the other teachers too

CZECH

Strict but also not

Tells us innapropriate jokes

Hangs candy on a tree that's hanging over her fence so kids passing by can take it

Has been present at the centre of Velvet revolution while pregnant. This woman was growing a new human inside of her body and still wanted to be present at the square when Gott and Kryl sang the national anthem

Was interested in a book I brought to class one day so much that she wanted to borrow it

Loves Dead poets society

Literally a manager of an orchestra

Lets us eat during class

Has a resignation letter thing ready at all times in case she just decides to quit, she's prepared for anything

She can be absolutely terrifying but she's also an absolute sweetheart and she teaches so well

When Adam tagged her (as in "tag you're it") she laughed and then ran up to me and tagged me

Disappointed by the lack of knowledge about culture we have

Honestly she's an icon idk what to tell you

Cool teaching methods

Probably will yell at you when you say something stupid but she's actually calm and that yelling somehow works to fix your stupidity? It's magic or something

Told us how many marks we need for her to be able to give us the final mark and let us just chill when we had them, no more tests

She just knows so much stuff

Her son is a doctor, ex army doctor I think? She must have passed the cool smart genes to her kids

Apparently one time I gave her some work of mine to read and then forgot it but she remembers? I'm so afraid what kind of cringe that must have been

Doesn't call me just by my name but by a sort of nickname (literally not even my own mom uses the affectionate version of my name)

Promised to give me a chocolate after partaking in the czech olympics regionals

Literally more proud of me than my family haha

Also teaches German. But speaks even Russian and I think French? And a bit of Latin. And obvi English.

Travelled a lot in her youth, it seems?

Keeps calling herself a grandma xd

Has absolutely stellar hearing and idk how she does that

She's an lgbt ally, yay!

Also wants equal marriage if she can be in a registered partnership (because she doesn't want to get married, she considers it long, boring and unnecessary at her age. And she doesn't need the benefits that marriage has)

Once described types of men using trees... It was a very interesting conversation

Accepted the fact that instead of a summary of one book I wrote about how it represents a metaphor for something because I misunderstood the wording of the assignment. She didn't let it slide with one other guy because he literally wrote the thing that showed up when you searched it up on Google but she let me and my explanation of three different ways the metaphor can work live and honestly I love her for that

Sometimes makes German grammar references in class and makes the russian-taking group confused

Tells us fun facts about the works we talk about in literature

Always says everything how it is

Will call you an idiot (affectionate)

HISTORY

Plays the guitar - both electric and acoustic

Was at a Pink Floyd concert recently

Has a motorcycle

And a cool aviator-like leather jacket (refuses to tell us where he got it, it's top secret)

For some reason is dating our bio teacher and we kind of pity him because at least to us she's mostly a bitch lmao

Tells bad jokes and worse stories (but we love it)

Tells us random innapropriate historical facts (apparently Napoleon didn't last long in bed and idk why he knows that)

Or says something about his past career or family history (randomly drops in how his ancestor had to ski back from Italy after ww1 or something about a client whose family tree he made)

Loves romanticism era literature

Goes fishing

One time he told me I look like I'm going to die (I'm very pale and it was summer)

Used to be my English teacher and it was amazing, we we wrote a postcard from a vacation to our principal and he made a rude comment about him and then quickly told us not to write that

Laughs whenever I have to go to the student council meeting because we both know something about toilets is going to be said

Had me read in the school announcement thing because he remembered that I was in poetry reciting competitions

Also made me start the teacher's day with greeting them as colleagues and then saying "this is prof. *his name* but 20 years younger with a soft, velvety voice"

Actually made me read a second thing there recently because he thinks I have a nice voice

My father figure lmao

We had a totally peaceful discussion about ancient and modern history and which one is better (it's ancient history and I will die on this hill)

Took selfies with us on a trip

Complains about how "see? If they paid attention in their history class, they would see where it was going and this whole thing could be prevented"

When he decided to make me suffer and ask me questions in front of the board (verbal exam) he asked stupidly formulated questions so I gave him just as dumb answers ("and what are these men in the photo doing?" "standing in front of a vagon" *shocked laughter* "I mean, yes, but I meant what are their jobs or... You know" "well you didn't say that" "that's valid")

Makes fun reanactments of situations he's explaining (that could be colonising, class enemies, literally whatever) and it's so fun

But also likes to make me suffer. Literally touched a pen during class? Amazing tell me everything you know about the current situation of native Americans in America (we were talking about the American revolution and this was kind of off topic but I can't really complain because I knew anyways).

Knew I love Joan of Arc, had an assignment about her ready and it was a free topic that he didn't assign to anybody, still decided to make me write my assignment on the structure of society in the middle ages (which you have literally not even one slide of info about because it just isn't that complicated unless you want to go into unnecessary detail which he hates so I was forced into writing a slide about my opinion comparing the society in the middle ages with the current one)

Just enjoys giving me harder assignment with a smirk that makes me want to punch him so bad (still adore him tho)

After I tagged him at lunch (literally ran past him, punched him arm as I was in full speed sprint and yelled "you're it!" in the full dining hall), he called me and my friend (they were filming it) into his office and then turned to one of my friends, tapped her shoulder with one finger and said "you're it." and we honestly lost it

One time accidentally said the Romans had rectangular squares (instead of shields) and I had a fit of laugher and he attempted to send me to the hall to calm down but when I got up to go I literally collapsed on the floor in a stronger fit of laughter and he started laughing at me

Loves to recommend historical movies. Or criticise them, for that matter.

Shittalked one Marie Terezie series with me

Has extremely cool hair

We actually made a meme about him being the hottest teacher and I really hope he has seen it. I might print it and give it to him at the end of the year, who knows

One time during a gingerbread thing I will describe somewhere a bit lower, I needed to make a good symmetrical cross (+) but screwed up so I just turned it into The sword in the stone and joked about giving it to him. Our main teacher actually did give it to him and he thanked me in the hall and I was so confused because I had no idea

One time I accidentally sent him a meme instead of an assignment. A Henry VIII meme. A really bad one.

One time I sent him a meme on purpose, tho. One about Romulus and Remus. He asked me about it and then told me he will be looking forward to receiving more memes in the future

GEO/BIO (aka our main teacher)

Makes tremendous exams even worse by forcing you to recognise pictures of the stuff. Cultural heritage places, trees that look literally the same, freaking moss that you can't tell apart let alone based on a projected photo...

Made us do damn maps of every continent. But at least three for each - river systems, terrain, and then possibly just classic geography. Also made us remember the capitals of every single European state which made me want to stab her because despite being slavic i keep switching some of the balkan countries

Lab work. Just. Lab work is pain.

You know about these weirs streams where it's just someone peeling an egg? Yeah she made us go that during our lab work

Also forced me to go to the bio olympics and j hate her for that because I don't even like biology

Literally makes me and my friend aka the responsible ones do so much stuff that we have basically no free time so she can kiss my ass

I hate her sm

Complains about being overworked, proceeds to dump half her work on teenagers

She sucks most of the time

Only nice to our medic group

Like. She buys us food after competitions

That doesn't change the fact that she's evil and overworks me constantly. One time I screwed my shoulder up after a full day of running around and running errands and carrying stuff and running upstairs with it and-- yeah I was in pain so I don't like her

Actually made us spend part of our Christmas break in the school kitchens baking and decorating gingerbread and doing other arts and crafts for some charity thing. I love charity events but once again I was sick and tired and had no free time

Makes our medic club do a thing where we explain first aid to kids. This includes minimum time to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom. One time I got a fever and still had to stay there. When I finally got home, I passed out haha. Spent the next two weeks in agonising muscle pain with a cold and a fever. Once again I refuse to forgive her for making me stay there.

PHYSICS

Kind of a pedo if I'm being honest

Somehow always manages to mess up whatever he's explaining and teach us wrong information

Tests basically each class

Sometimes can be convinced to play physics themed Kahoot

Old man

Just... So weird and random

Muted the whole class on zoom during quarantine and then complained that noone responded (we were texting in the chat but he ignored that)

So many weird zoom stories

Has that shirt + beige pants fit

Does so much weird stuff that he refuses to explain because "that's between heaven and earth"

Please just elaborate for once

Exams fron things he never even talked about because why not

MATH

Sometimes tells us what nails she is planning to get

Always get the worst bowl/helmet cut and then when it finally grows out a bit she does it again. My heart weeps.

Once made someone cry during geometry??

Threw someone's pen from the window

Threatens to throw more stuff

Honestly so done with us sometimes

Rocks red and black fits most of the time

Wear a light scarf sometimes because it's cold

Keeps saying it's trivial (it either isn't or we're just stupid, jury's still out)

Wears heels all basically all the time

Probably so done with me because I just can't count haha

Loves us but sometimes we piss her off

Sometimes we just have gossip session about our main teacher because she dislikes her as well

Complains about the specific blue chairs we have and use sometimes and she's so real for that

MUSIC

Weird

Somehow made us watch psychological horror movie based on a fairytale (probably of German origin like the most of them) instead of... Idk. Something related to the class.

Going out consists of walking to a nearby pub/restaurant and sitting in the garden area

Or the basketball court thing

Thinks he is a local celebrity (he's not exactly correct)

English

The sweetest

Made us a traditional Ukrainian Christmas dish

Me and my friend made her a list of classic Czech movies we reccomend

Always says "girls, why are you so late?" when you come in not even a minute after the bell rings

Thought I'm from a bilingual family lol

Sometimes we discuss and compare Czech and Ukrainian traditions in English

Confusing pronunciation

One time she said the name Shakespeare in such a funny way but she's sweet so we don't want to tell her

Watched the new Puss in Boots movie with us in class, told us we can bring snacks

ART/P.E.

A lesbian

Has asthma

Loves art and art history

Seriously she's like me from another universe

Plays audiobooks during art class

Grades mostly based of effort

Made big canvas paintings with us and then decorated the school with them and that was something new and revolutionary

She's cool, I like her

Used to be an equestrian, apparently?

Makes art history quizzes on her insta stories

So many boob flower pots and sketches of women... I love it xd

Oh yeah she also does ceramics and makes cups and flower pots and stuff

RUSSIAN

Sweetheart as well

Used to be my English teacher before we switched groups

So done with pur group sometimes

Very excited to teach us the longest or funniest words like достопримечательности

One time she watched Masha and the bear with us during class

And Jen Počkej Zajíci (Ну погоди) even tho it's basically the same in all languages since there's minimum speaking

Also made us recite a poem about lunch during the week and I still remember it after rlike three years and I hate that

[russilton]

oh mark I absolutely LOVE when you post your wips. Just read the Jeddah one and OMG I would spend hours reading it

It unfortunately probably wont be long enough to spend hours reading but im getting close with it! It only needs two more dialogue heavy scenes. But either way im seriously touched! You are always so v nice to me and for that you can have another snippet- because you are nice and not bc im slutty about people reading my fic

(Warning- Gewis and not very sexy pillow talk)

———

In the cold light of post coital come down, all Lewis can feel is how sticky they both are, skin tacking anywhere it touches in the humid air only made worse by the sweat they produced rutting together. His clothes feel damp and he doubts George feels much better, said man letting out a hiss through gritted teeth when Lewis finally pulls out.

At least George no longer looks angry at him, if anything he just seems exhausted, laying back against the couch and gazing up at Lewis as he sets about righting himself. The older driver tries his best to ignore the eyes on his back as he slips the condom off and wipes himself down best he can with the tissues he finds lying around on one of the little tables in his cramped room, the space only feeling smaller with Georges palpable expectation taking up space behind him. Lewis only turns back when he’s tucked himself back into his now cold, damp, underwear and thrown the soiled trash into the tiny garbage can by the door.

Now they’ve finished, now he’s fucked all the anger out of his body, all he can feel is yawning, empty space in his gut, a pit he’d been suitably distracted from when he could focus on the writhing rage and jealousy. He feels hollowed out, unable to mask the creeping anxiety that today's performance will become one of many, a pattern of slipping away from the apex. It had been easy to blame George for it all earlier, for standing in his way, for… for doing his job.

But now George is spent on the couch behind him, giving into Lewis the second he’d pressed and allowing him to seek respite from his too loud brain, he can’t bring himself to blame the other man, a guilty feeling settling heavily alongside the doubt.

Lewis wonders distantly if Sebastian ever felt like this when Mercedes’ dominance began, or if Seb was more pragmatic about it. If the German ever felt shame crawling up his legs, chasing each breath, or if the end came all at once.

When he looks up from tugging his trousers back over his hips, George is watching him still, haphazardly cleaning himself up while Lewis was stuck in his own mind. Now the lithe man is leaning back causally against the sofa, his own release wiped off his abs, something horribly observant behind those big blue eyes. The room feels claustrophobic now, like George can see through him to the flaws even sitting here, back in his shorts with his skin still covered in a mix of Lewis’ sweat and his own.

The not so distant memory of Nico using those same anxieties against him after far, far less roars loud and deafening in his mind.

“So-“ George begins, clearing his throat pointedly when it comes out rough, his calm but expectant voice making Lewis jump. “Can we talk about the race now?”