#and it’s crazy to me that people aren’t complaining about the more important problem with the show: Grover isn’t fucking eating tin cans
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All this hate for show Annabeth is getting really fucking annoying
#pjo#pjo tv show#like. genuinely just admit ur a racist and leave#‘I’m so sad that she isn’t a beautiful blonde princess and sweet and nice like she was in the books’ DID WE READ THE SAME BOOKS#ANNABETH WAS A BITCH#She’s arrogant and cutting and mean and also so fucking brave and smart and funny#like it took her half the quest to warm up to Percy#and even once she did her first response a couple of times#when he asked her questions#was ‘none of your business’ cause she’s had a difficult life ok!! she doesn’t trust easily!#just. leave her fucking alone. the actress is doing a phenomenal job#portraying a really complex character#I’m so so so sorry she’s not white. get the fuck over it.#thanks!#and it’s crazy to me that people aren’t complaining about the more important problem with the show: Grover isn’t fucking eating tin cans#and tablecloths. when is he gonna chew on a can. I Deserve my pica representation.#I’m posting this here cause I can’t reply to the comment on Reddit cause I’ll go insane arguing with someone that stupid#it’s just crazy how people will read the same books as u and somehow have missed every single fucking point from it#“Annabeth is an absolutely know-it-all child and a rude and snotty kid”’#yeah. what about it. did u read the books. she’s a child of Athena. like. are u STUPID#Mr fantastic mango. are u just a fucking idiot#delete later#I’m sorry about this rant guys
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sorry for the long sheet but i simply hate when some individuals on their titter accounts raise the topic of how “gross” fanfiction is. they literally make a gag of themselves and it seems they never joined any other fandoms or fan communities before which is odd especially taking into account that fan fiction has been around a little longer than the internet, though the internet definitely gave it a boost in popularity.
also there is one thing: people, who feel irritated by fanfiction about their fav band or their tl also going crazy about *the band*, are another subspecies of obsessive fans who wish they could gatekeep their favourite musicians or tv-shows or media content but if everyone is into it - they feel robbed and left out. they also might feel they are not special anymore, they're just like anybody else. this is pretty captivating, imo, and that says a lot about them too.
what do you think of it?
a piece of advice for this kind of fans is to find some other more important stuff to pay attention to.
i know how tempting it is to vent about your problems with smn/smth, but maybe you should keep quiet about some things or at least you can treat yourself to a new journal and cute stationary. stop making a mess for everyone to see. your tweets may pop up on anyone's tl without any warning and no need to complain how it's no fair if someone's blocked your piteous ass titter.
like, look at our standom, those bo fans who are kept calling out just for having celebrity crushes. this is so pointless. mute, block, forget if you don't like it.
why is it such a big deal?
we are just typical fans. we are not a threat. (there can be only 2 totally deranged toxic fans out of 10 and i think we all can deal with it.)
let people live and admire their crushes. there is no harm in doing that unless they are a bunch of annoying stalkers who pretend to be fans & do their best to draw all attention to themselves by talking bs about bo (even the bo camp) and the fandom in order to stay fucking visible. seriously, those ppl must leave their weak old tea and their dull assumptions to themselves. none of this stuff is an issue nowadays. they need to stop living in the past. some bo fans also should focus on a positive side of this fandom.
Personally, I don’t read it. I don’t like it. I’ve tried and I just feel uncomfortable. It’s not for me. It gives me the ick 99% of the time. I’m fine with the ones that aren’t solely based on fucking and actually have a plot with maybe added sexy time to it. But when the whole story is the characters getting it on… just weird in my opinion. There’s fanfics and then there’s the pornfics. Im not into it.
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#F40B32 | RYOMEN SUKUNA.
genre | light fluff, light angst, very faint romance undertone
word count | 2616
warning | mention of death, mention of injury, mention of killing, decapitation
note | i just wanted to try my hand at writing for a villain that is obviously irredeemable in a semi-realistic way.
what happens when you are irredeemable? you will fall in love anyway.
but ryomen sukuna wasn't in love with you. after all, he had killed you one too few times to claim that he was in love with you.
the first time he killed you was out of instinct. you were an intruder touching his soul the way mahito did, except you barged in without any malicious intention. he had gazed over your fallen body with mild interest then; a mere mortal, yet you emerged from thin air into his locked tight domain without dying?
the second time he killed you was a choice. he gave you not a minute to explain yourself, even though you had wasted the minute asking questions about his identity and the skull-filled area instead of giving him any valuable information about yourself. he had been fed up, he was never a man of patience, so he killed you with a wave of his hand and returned to his dull life alone on his throne.
the third time he killed you—he did not kill you. there was no third time; people liked to say the third time's charm but sukuna believed no such superstition. he killed you twice already and each time, you came back unscathed, both your body and your memories. whether he liked it or not, killing you for the third time would do neither you nor him any benefit, so he kept you alive.
you were afraid of him. he could tell, and he meant for things to be that way until he realized it served as a misfortune on his part. in order to understand this mystery—your sudden appearance into his domain, as well as your inability to leave it and his inability to kick you out—he has to gain some piece of information about you, but you were too shaken up from being murdered to talk to him at all.
sukuna's patience was reaching a breaking point and he thought about torturing it out of you, but he understood that humans are fragile, way more fragile than your typical jujutsu sorcerer. he could accidentally kill you and you would return with no scars and more unwilling to converse with him than before. then it was the waiting game all over again.
he wasn't planning on going through such a dull ordeal again, so he left you be and waited for you to calm yourself down.
the first time you talked to him, you asked him a question.
"are you going to kill me?" you asked him.
sukuna peered down at you from his throne. small, frightened, curled into a ball with no desire to touch the skeletons at his feet, but you looked up at him out of politeness.
he scoffed, displeased. "no, but i always can."
the second time you talked to him, it was to exchange a brief introduction.
"ryomen sukuna," he hummed curtly then he nudged his chin toward you. "your turn."
you shuffled up to your knees and sat down on your heels. your fingers fidgetted at your lap as you timidly peered up at his tattooed, disinterested expression.
"[full name]," you said with a nod, unable to meet his eyes. "nice–nice to meet you, sukuna-san..."
the third time you talked to him, you flinched.
"ma–may i ask you two questions... if i can...?" you asked, for the first time standing up to face him directly.
sukuna leaned away from his propped-up arm. after taking a better look at you, accessing your figure analytically despite having seen you move around slowly for days already, he shoved his hands into the sleeves of his robe and he suddenly jumped down from his throne to stand before you.
you pursed your lips nervously over his looming figure, face heating up with terrible anxiety while your eyes darted down to the watery ground. oh, his presence has been so overwhelmingly deadly that you forgot your white tennis shoes were stained red and your pastel ankle socks remained wet. you did not dare to complain, not even in your head.
"i'll allow it," he said.
"where am i?" you quickly asked.
"an innate domain," he replied.
you have questions, but you decided not to ask. you only nodded after breathing out a soft sigh to calm your nerves. this man constantly sounded condescending, he was kicking open your comfort zone without actively doing anything that would make you uncomfortable.
"okay..." you said, "thank you."
"aren't you going to ask me another question?" he stated with a raise of his brow. "you wanted to ask me two questions."
you gulped, blinking hopelessly at the air as a grimace appeared on your face. "the first question was if i can ask you two questions, and the second one is about where i am... so that makes two."
oh, a meticulously cautious one, and somewhat humorous too he would give you that. sukuna scoffed loudly, but it was less out of annoyance and more out of disbelief of your incredible dullness. however, as plain as you were, he has grown accustomed to your presence; the scent of fear that bounced off of you and the fact that he cannot kill you at will.
"you must be dying to know what this place is, are you not, you brat?" sukuna asked.
when he saw the flashes in your eyes, he knew he had you down through and through. all you were was but someone who was too afraid to say what they want, which was just as he expected from you. you wouldn't cause him trouble, you never could.
reaching his hand out of his sleeve, he stayed silent despite seeing the way you flinched with your eyes shut at his raised hand. his movement had been slow, but that was an involuntary response, an instinct that he didn't craft into you. he wondered what it was.
"you can ask me three more questions," he said as he pushed the heel of his palm against the curve of your head. he was gentle at first, then he clamped his hand down on your head as he bent his waist to meet your eyes. he laughed. "i'll allow it."
he could keep you here. he has no choice but to keep you here, and he would kill you once he realized he has the ability to. but for now, perhaps he could act a little civil, something like a human being but one that people would hate to the core.
except he was met with a little obstacle in the way, which was that you were no bad company.
the first time sukuna gained a liking toward you was when you asked him a peculiar question.
"sukuna-san," you called one time when there was only silence within the innate domain.
you sat on a bed of skulls, one that you tentatively asked the king of curses to make you so you wouldn't have to lean on the rib-cage structure and sit in water for slumber.
he denied it at first. calling you names and threatening you about ever requesting something from him—a bed in his domain? fucking atrocious. but your insomnia was killing you; you hated the blood water and your neck burned whenever you wake up having it arched at the worst angle possible.
he did not grow soft. he just made one so he didn't have to watch you sleep in his peripheral vision.
"hmm."
"why do you think curses exist?"
he raised a brow at you. "did i not teach you that before?"
"you did, sorry," you nodded, "then do you believe in god?"
"where the fuck is this coming from, you brat?"
"from where i came, god is good. but from what i am seeing, whether from where i came from or here, everything goes against that value," you muttered loudly as you pulled at your fingers. "cursed spirits harm people. if i can argue that way, i think cursed spirits are harmful within themselves."
"if god is good, and god is real, why would this happen," you said. "why should we feel negative emotions? why do we have the ability to create cursed spirits? why do curses like you exist?"
he furrowed his brows in irritation. have you reduced him to mere curses? have you reduced him to nothing but a brainless being that only takes joy in the suffering of others? no matter how he approached your words, he felt infuriated that you could minimize his importance to simply being a bad person.
he was much more than a bad person, much more than just a pain! he has ideals, he has goals and ambitions, he has wit and strength! he has anger and malevolence and power beyond which your soul could ever contain and endure! he was ryomen sukuna, the strongest curse in a thousand years and more!
he will fucking kill you.
"i'm really glad you're here, though," you finished off softly, an unknowing smile on your face as you rubbed your thumbs weakly together.
he will kill you.
"for a long time, i was told my anger and hatred aren't real. that they don't and should not exist, and i learned to bury them to the ground so they never appear on the surface again," you said, your innocent smile audible to his ears and making his chest twitch with guilt.
"cursed spirits' existence is proof that my negative emotions are real. they may be a problem, but i am not crazy for having them because they're here. they became something, they're here and alive."
he will... he will kill you.
"i just think it's unfair to put the blame on cursed spirits and cursed energy alone when the society's standard guarantees the manifestation of them," you said. "if my anger got out to the world in the form of a monster and it hurt someone, i'll forgive it. i will forgive myself."
he...
"you don't need to hear this, i wish i had your confidence, but i have to say it," you looked up and smiled at him, "i'm a little glad you're here, sukuna-san."
he will kill–he will ki–
the second time, he went stoic.
mahito was too smart for his own good. the first thing he noticed when he entered the soul within yuji's body was the way sukuna has the collar of your shirt clutched in his hand and your body pulled close to his side. it was a glance, he had one small glimpse of you both before he was kicked out of the domain.
your face was riddled with tears—crying, disappointed, and frustrated, but why? for the transfigured human whose name mahito almost forgot, or because sukuna just had one of the most sadistic outbursts you have ever witnessed.
and sukuna, the king, the lord, the almighty—didn't he look annoyed. well, not annoyed, per se. angry, mad, overwhelmed, knowing, protective. very, very, very protective; glowing eyes that glared at mahito's patched up face, fingers that gripped at your shirt so tightly he could rip the fabric apart, an aura that was ready to spit any moment if mahito so much as reach a finger toward your direction.
you meant something to ryomen sukuna. mahito realized that, so the second time he entered the innate domain, he killed you.
right before his eyes, with a cunning and triumphant smile, your neck cracked and your skin broke, and mahito tore your head off just before he was once again beat out of the domain.
sukuna tried to heal you. he tried to seal your head back to your lifeless body, time and time again pushing your decapitated head against your haphazardly cut neck. but his reverse curse technique wasn't healing you. your skin refused to piece itself back together, you refused to come back to him. time passed and he was getting mad, he was going batshit crazy trying to force himself out of this body.
bastard! bastard! bastard! he was supposed to kill you! he was supposed to be the one to kill you! he would murder that patch-faced piece of shit! he would kill mahito! and he would destroy the whole world, light it on fire and kill all that wasn't worthy of his time! he would jump universes, light-years, the bloodstream of the galaxy to find you and bring you back to him. he would—
"sukuna-san, i'm sorry i took a while! i thought you were fighting–holy shit, is that me?"
the third time, sukuna admitted to himself.
"what kind of flowers do you like, sukuna-san?" you asked, voice drowsy and your legs dangling after you climbed on one of the bones of the rib-cage structure.
"why does it matter?" he asked from his throne, eyeing you carefully.
your were a clumsy idiot. you could fall anytime.
"it doesn't, but it's flowers," you mumbled with your chin leaning against the bone, eyes threatening to close. "sukuna... sukuna..."
"what?" he snapped.
"i like lilies, the red ones," you said with a silly grin. "will you visit me when i die? sukuna... will you bring... mmm... bring red lilies..."
he looked ahead. your death; your grave, decorated with red lilies, protected and preserved with his curses. your death—he gritted his teeth. he refused to think about it. it was a waste of time.
or maybe he simply hated the idea of your death.
sukuna has not gone soft. he was irredeemable; a killer, a curse, a tragedy to descend upon mankind. he was not good and he never would be, nor did he ever have the intention to be good.
still, from you, there was proof that he could be more. what was left of his being; his anger and his torture, what was left within the gaps of his hell, the rare softness that once was there, belonged to you now.
you were the vessel that pocketed all that he could potentially become if he wasn't born to be ryomen sukuna, a version of him that you have witnessed. within you, there was proof that he did not only exist to hurt people, but also to validate madness and pain, to acknowledge passion in its murderous wakefulness. within you, there was proof that within himself, there are pieces of what it means to be human and alive.
hearing your soft breath, sukuna looked up to find you asleep with your head against the bone. your arms barely supported your weight and you were threatening to fall off as you dozed with faint snores. he stared at you, his fingers twitching, then he finally waved his hand so he could bring you away from the ribcage and to where he sat.
he paid no mind to subtlety when he set you on his lap. his hand supported your back while he kept your head pressed against his shoulder. his other arm went around your body, preventing you from falling off the throne made only for him to sit on. when he was done adjusting to the new sitting position, he relaxed.
brushing the hair away from your face, he stared down at you with disinterest, but his heart pumped and pumped for you to be warm and well, his arms tightened for you to sleep soundly.
"i will bring you all the red lilies you want," he whispered, the back of his finger gliding past your soft cheek. you did not smell like fear when you fall asleep, you did not smell like fear now even when you looked at him. "i will allow myself that."
after all, ryomen sukuna was only fond of you. very, very fond of you.
#also sorry if i used the wrong terms !!!#and i am still working on the childe piece !!!#ryomen sukuna#ryomen x reader#jjk ryomen#sukuna#sukuna imagine#sukuna x oc#sukuna x y/n#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk anime#jujutsu#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jjk x y/n#jjk x gender neutral reader#jujutsu x reader#jujutsu imagine#sukuna fluff#sukuna fanfic#jjk scenarios#jujutsu kaisen scenarios#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x gender neutral reader
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How do you think the slashers would react to their s/o just crumbling to the floor because of a severe migraine
My chronic migraines give me plenty of experience with this one. Enjoy luv!
-Fern🌿
Slashers x S/O With Severe Migraines
Michael Myers
Michael would freak out, but of course you would never know that, he’s as expressionless as ever. But he’s worried about you, he’s never seen you in so much pain and he hates not knowing how to help. So when you crumble to the ground with your head in your hands his first instinct is to pick you up.
Does his best to do what you normally do whenever you have a migraine or bad headache. After getting you tucked into bed he closes the blinds remembering how you would throw an arm over your eyes to block out the light. Brings you a glass of water and some pain killers to try and help with the persistent pain.
You won’t have to worry about loud noises being an issue either considering Michael always moves around quietly. It’s a quality of his that normally annoys you since he scares the crap out of you so often but in the moment you’ve never been more grateful that your giant of a boyfriend is so quite.
If the nausea gets to you and you make a run for the bathroom, Michael will disappear. He may care about you but he’s not going to hold your hair back for you or anything. Will show up to carry you back to the bed once more though. Even he won’t leave you lying on the cold floor.
Bo Sinclair
Bo may have experience with extreme hangovers but he doesn’t have any experience with severe migraines. At first, when you begin to complain about the pain he teases you about it. “It can’t be that bad, darlin’, you’re just bein’ dramatic.” He simply doesn’t understand the severity of your migraines, so you can imagine his surprise when you fall to the ground grimacing and taking deep breaths.
He does his best to appear nonchalant but you can still tell he’s panicking. Bo’s not stupid, he knows you have a pretty good pain tolerance and has witnessed it first hand. So he understands that you have to be in some serious pain to just crumble to the ground like that.
Carries you up the stairs to the bedroom and just awkwardly hovers. Eventually he decides to ask Vincent for his help. Bo knows everything there is to know about cars but he’s helpless when it comes to fixing up people.
His best idea is to just lay with you and rub circles onto your skin in a poor attempt to distract you from the pain and discomfort. Keeps asking what he can do to help when really the best thing he could do is stop asking questions and learn to shut up for once in his life. If you snap at him he decides that he can allow it use this once but don’t ever try to again.
Vincent Sinclair
Vincent spend most of his time underneath Ambrose in his workshop. So when he finally reappears on the surface only to find you sitting on the kitchen floor with your head in your hands he’s immediately worried and begins to fret over you.
I’m convinced that Vincent actually knows a lot about medicine. His messed up father most definitely left behind a bunch of medical textbooks in his office as well as a few medical journals as well. Reading all of them in his free time has given him a great understanding of anatomy and the human body. How else would he be so good with handling the bodies. He can properly administer a sedative, stitch people up, and accurately slice the Achilles’ tendon, those things aren’t just common knowledge.
This makes Vincent the best equipped slasher to help you through any migraine. He’ll scoop you up and carry you to bed making sure the room stays dark and quite. If you want him to stay with you he will, otherwise he will leave you be and just occasionally pop in to check on you. If Bo comes home shouting Vincent will deal with him immediately.
Memorizes all of your migraine triggers and does his best to help you avoid them. While Vincent has sadistic tendencies he never wants to see you in pain. Especially not in so much pain that you fall to the floor and curl up on yourself like that.
Thomas Hewitt
The Hewitt household is always filled with loud noises and commotion. Whether it be screams, yelling, slamming doors, or the sound of a chainsaw there’s always some type of loud noise. But with so much to be done around the house and your need to carry your own weight, you do your best to push through the pain that begins in your head. But as the pain intensifies and the noises around you just continue to grow louder, you fall to the ground.
When Thomas finds you curled in on yourself he panics. Doing his best to be gentle, he picks you up and does the only thing he knows to do. Setting you down on the kitchen table he pulls Luda Mae over to you. His momma is the only person he can think of to help you out. Sure enough, she’s able to assess your migraine quickly and gets Thomas to carry you up to bed and close the curtains to try and block out the sun.
For once in a long time, the house is quite. There is no yelling, no screaming, and definitely no chainsaw. Luda Mae makes sure to keep Hoyt and Monty quiet while Thomas makes sure to not leave your side. The bodies can be dealt with tomorrow no matter how much crap he gets from Hoyt. Right now, Thomas is focused on making sure that you’re okay and fetches you anything that you need.
Brahms Heelshire
It’s no secret that Brahms watches you all day long. Whether he’s glued to your hip or within the walls, you can always feel his eyes on you and Brahms always finds a way to make his presence known. So when your migraine hits an unbearable point and the world begins to sway, you decide to sit on the middle of the floor.
Seeing you suddenly drop to the ground has Brahms panicking from his spot within the walls. You can hear him move around with loud thunks which only causes you to wince and press your hands to your head in an attempt to block out the noise. His whines of concern when he reach you don’t help either and you snap.
Brahms has never seen you snap at him like that but he’s also never seen you hurt like this so he feels very conflicted. Eventually he reasons that for now he can help you so that you’re no longer in pain. But lashing out at him like that is behavior that can’t go unpunished. So all the while he’s helping you and being on his best behavior he’s thinking of all the ways he can punish you when you feel better.
Billy Loomis
Billy isn’t good at taking care of people, half the time he can’t even do a good job of showing he cares. That doesn’t change the fact that he’s still very protective over you though. So when you crumble to the ground at one of Stu’s parties with tears beginning to form in your eyes he immediately grabs you and carries you to an empty room away fro any people.
When you explain to him that it’s a migraine and all the noise and flashing lights are only making it worse he’s immediately getting you in the car and carrying you home, no complaints. Billy refuses to keep you in a place that’s only going to make you feel worse even if he doesn’t know how to help you get rid of your migraine.
Once you make it home he carries you to bed and hands you water and pain killers. After listening to your instructions to hit the lights he crawls into bed beside you. Even after you manage to fall asleep he’s staying up worrying over you. Billy enjoys seeing people hurt, he’s crazy enough to stab his own best friend with no remorse. Even then, he quickly decides that he never wants to see you hurt and does everything he can to prevent that.
Stu Macher
Stu’s not great with empathy, he does a terrible job of reading the room, and he does a bad job of helping other people most of the time. So seeing you curl up on the ground makes him nervous. He knows you have migraines from time to time but usually you’re able to handle them on you’re own. The most you ever get him to do is fetch you water or Tylenol.
He panics as he helps you up off the ground, not knowing what to do with you. He considers carrying you to bed but decides that the couch is much closer. Pulling a blanket off of the back he drapes it over you, making sure to turn off the TV so it doesn’t bother you.
For the first time in his life Stu manages to be quite. Since he can’t ramble though he finds himself fidgeting around, biting at the skin around his nails. Listening to your small groans and whines of pain make him want to do something, anything. Knowing that all he can do is wait makes him feel helpless and useless.
Stu goes out of his way to help you avoid anything that might trigger your migraines. If you get a sever migraine while out in public he will come pick you up so that you dont’ have to drive yourself home. The two of you can worry about your car later, he’s just worried about making you feel better.
Jesse Cromeans
This man has his own medical staff just on standby at all times. Having any sort of severe or chronic migraines is no problem when you’re with Jesse. One phone call and he can find you the best doctor in the whole country.
Seeing you curl into a ball as you sit on the ground has him calling Spann and telling her to clear his schedule for the rest of the day. You are his top priority, he can handle business another day. Even if it was something important he has a whole team of people that are more than capable of handling the situation for the time being. He’ll make sure that you get some rest knowing that a nap usually helps to eradicate your pain.
If he happens to bring you along to one of his warehouses and end up with a migraine though then he begins to get nervous. You’re more likely to be put in danger there, so he’ll be reluctant to bring you along again. Jesse will have you sit in his lap and anyone that barges in yelling about “business affairs” then he’ll quickly get rid of them.
Black out curtains. He knows that the light streaming through the windows can make your migraines so much worse. So he would make sure to have blackout curtains in your bedroom so that no light can get through and you can rest peacefully. Nothing like a dark and quiet room when your head feels like it’s about to explode.
Asa Emory
If this happens while you’re still trapped in his hotel of horror, then you’re just kind of SOL. Asa has cameras in every room so he most definitely knows that you’re in pain. On the bright side the hotel is pretty dark and quiet so there’s not much that will make your migraine worse. Unless Asa decides to torture you by turning on extra bright lights or causing a scene just for some noise to irritate you.
If you’re still in the hotel, but Asa has grown fond of you then he may show some mercy. Sadly that mercy comes in the form simply knocking you out with any method he deems convenient. Lucky you, you wont be hit upside the head because he knows that would just make things worse.
However, if he’s decided to make you his a little house spouse, then he tends to be more gentle. His house is quiet and the dimly lit bedroom is your safe haven whenever your head starts to hurt. If you fall to the ground he’ll carry you to bed. Making sure to remind you how weak and pathetic you are, you wouldn’t be able to do anything without him to take care of you.
#slashers#slasher x reader#slasher x you#slasher hcs#michael myers x reader#michael myers#halloween#bo sinclair x reader#bo sinclair#vincent sinclair#vincent sinclair x reader#house of wax#thomas hewitt x reader#thomas hewitt#tcm the beginning#brahms heelshire x reader#brahms heelshire#billy loomis x reader#billy loomis#stu macher x reader#stu macher#ghostface x reader#ghostface#jesse cromeans x reader#jesse cromeans#chromeskull x reader#chromeskull#asa emory x reader#asa emory#the collector x reader
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ML Fic: Soulmate Survey Part 34
Man these parts are getting harder and harder to churn out. A lot of plot points converging and real life ramping up. Hopefully you all enjoy this. Please comment your thoughts on the chapter. And if you really liked it, Reblog it. Thats the best way to get others to see it. Also, Please let me know your thoughts. Your comments fuel me.
(Master Post)
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Masquerade surveyed the classroom. Her former classmates now her masked servants. It was fitting how they were all silent. Before, they listened to her because she told them exactly the things they wanted to hear, now they listened because she had power over them. It was kind of poetic in a way.
She looked across the classroom, she realized that there seemed to be more people missing than she initially realized.
“We are missing someone. Aside from Marinette, who is missing?”
The controlled classmates looked amongst themselves. Trying to figure out who was the one that was not in the class.
“Is it Chloé?” Miracular inquired, trying to answer her master’s request.
The akuma looked around.
“Huh… Oh yea, she isn’t here. Well she isn’t important. I was thinking someone else.” Masquerade answered. She looked to her most recently made akuma servant.
The Bubbler, the akumatized version of Nino stood motionless. As if he was not registering what was going on.
“Bubbler? Do you know who is missing?”
The multicolored akuma said nothing. Not even looking in the direction of the mask maiden.
“Bubbler! I order you to answer me!” She commanded with fiery rage.
The akuma turned to face his master, now responding.
“Adrien is missing.” The bubbler answered, his voice robotic and as emotive as a speak and spell.
“So, Adrien isn’t in the room. What a shame. I was planning on turning him into my handsome little knight.”
Masquerade thought for a moment.
Has Adrien been akumatized? Lila wasn’t sure she had ever seen or heard about him getting akumatized. She knew that the class had pretty much gotten hit at least once or twice at some point from what she had heard and read from the ladyblog. But if that goody-goody Marinette hadn’t been akumatized, Adrien likely hadn’t been akumatized either.
“Alright my servants! We have a new mission. I want you to lock this school down! No one is allowed in or out. Anyone you find, bring them to me. If they can be akumatized, then they are joining our cause.”
“Time breaker. Guard the perimeter outside of the school. Anyone outside of Ladybug and Chat noir trying to get in. Tag them, but only if they are suspicious of what’s going on. Stay hidden otherwise.”
“Timebreaker nodded and began skating out of the room in a rush.
“Horrificator, once Timebreaker is outside, seal all the exits in the main building.”
The masked monstress nodded and sped out of the room.
“Dark Cupid, Stoneheart, Princess Fragrance, Miracular and Reflekta. I want you to split up check all of the rooms and bring me potential akumas.”
The five akuma nodded and made their way out the door.
“Gamer and Robostus. I want you to hack into the airwaves. I want access to every Electric device in Paris when I give you the signal. But make sure to be subtle. I don’t want anyone to know about us until I tell you.”
The two nod and start working to get that ready for her.
She focuses her attention to the bubble making akuma that was giving her problems earlier.
Considering how hard it was to break him down, it was understandable. She had saved him for last for a reason. Because he was the hardest one to crack.
He was a relatively calm individual, able to keep a level head. But even he had his weakness. His confidence. Once that was shaken, seeing his entire class taken, knowing his girlfriend was under her control, he couldn't resist another moment. In a way, it was the most satisfying charm on her bracelet.
“Now Bubbler, you are going to go and locate Marinette and Adrien for me. Put them in a bubble and bring them to me. Help that girlfriend of yours.”
The bubbler nodded yes despite severe shaking. Seems even now he is trying to resist the control of the mask.
“Troublesome, but it is only temporary. He will break soon enough.” Masquerade mused to herself.
She looked at the near empty room with contempt. This was hardly a place where she could exact her vengeance. It was so… lame. Though a thought occurs as she realized who she had left standing at attention without orders.
“Evillustrator, I have a special request for you.”
________________________________________________________
“What is this?” Chloé screeched. “My daddy bought me the best phone plan in the city. How can I not have service right now?!”
The nurse felt a chill run down her spine. Could the akuma block out phone signals? Is that why there is no attention being given to the school? How could they call for help? How would anyone know of the akuma attack? Would Ladybug and Chat noir be able to help them?
The nurse started to feel herself going pale, she was just supposed to be a school nurse. Worst thing she needed to deal with was a scraped knee or give a kid an ice pack. Now she has a woman that collapsed on the bed and an akuma that is somewhere in the school. She had just moved to Paris a few months ago. It was her dream to live in the city of love, get her career going, find a nice guy, and just live the good life. But no one told her that supervillain attacks would be so personally connected to her situation? She had heard about this crap in New York and in America. But Paris? It was too much. What if Ladybug and Chat noir didn’t fix everything? What if this was where her story ended. What if…
“Hey!”
The nurse turned to her attention to the voice. It was the brash blonde teen that was complaining.
“You look like you’re going to pass out. Just a heads up, I am not taking care of you.” Chloé commented.
Angela felt her face heat up with annoyance.
“Listen you brat. I don’t have time to deal with your attitude. I have a woman that is out cold from exhaustion in a building with a hostile akuma.”
“Good, at least you aren’t going to faint. I don’t need any more whinny women fainting on me”
The nurse paused, did the girl say that just to help her not succumb to the grim situation?
Chloé started making her way to the door.
“Hey, where are you going?”
“You already got your hands full with the annoying assistant. I need to make a call to daddy. So, I am going to head out the building and try there. Try not to get ripped apart by an akuma, I still need more ice when I get back.”
Angela blinked. This girl wasn’t scared of the akuma. She was actually going out to do something reasonable. If she could call for help, it would mean that this whole thing blows over.
“Okay, I’ll stay here. Be safe.”
“Yea whatever.”
Chloé headed out the door.
Angela felt a ghost of a smile grace her face.
‘Maybe that girl isn’t a complete brat after all.’
__________________________________________________
The shapeshifting sentimonster growled as it smacked the locker. It lost both primary targets. And worst of all, Ladybug appeared to make this even harder. Masquerade needed to hear about this.
“Master, Marinette and Adrien have escaped my sight.”
The sentimonster heard a sigh of disappointment from the other end.
“It is fine Simularé, They wont be able to escape the school anyway. They will be found soon enough. If anything, this is a blessing in disguise. Having them be the last targets will have them bare witness to how devasting it will all be.” Masquerade answered. “Any news on Ladybug and Chat noir?”
“That’s the other bad news. Ladybug arrived, I am assuming that’s how Marinette managed to escape, and ladybug also took Adrien away as well. No sign of chat noir. But if you know one is here, the other is likely soon to follow.”
There was a brief moment of silence, as masquerade mulled over the information she had received.
“Actually, that works out well for us. Meet up at my location, I have the other students out looking for them, I need your power for something more important.”
“Yes master.”
Simularé shifted back into its phantom form, moving quickly down the hallway to obey her master’s request.
Just as it left, Ladybug popped out of a nearby locker. Relieved it didn’t notice.
“That’s not good, Masquerade likely got everyone in the classroom.” The red heroine said aloud.
She activated her communicator and tried to contact chat noir. But there was no sound.
“Damn it. No signal. Lila likely cut the communication as soon as she realized it.?”
“No worries Buggaboo, I happen to be on site.” A voice called out.
Chat noir jumped out of another locker to reveal he was there.
Ladybug felt a bit of relief at her partner’s appearance. She could tell he felt the same. Better a situation with two heroes.
“Been here the whole time?” The spotted heroine asked her cat crimefighting comrade.
“Just arrived a few minutes ago, I figured something was up, so I decided to take a quick peek. Cat curiosity and all that.”
“And you assumed it was with Collège Françoise Dupont?”
“It seemed like a solid guess.”
“Considering the track record, that is reasonable.” Ladybug conceded.
“Ever wonder why it is always this school and never any of the other schools? Paris is a big city. You would think Hawkmoth would decide to branch out to the other schools in the city.” Chat noir inquired as they started walking down the hall.
“I assumed its just a coincidence.”
“Shot in the dark, maybe he has a kid that goes here. He is pretty old” Chat noir dissed.
“I can’t imagine anyone that would want to date Hawkmoth.” Ladybug joked.
“What about the blue lady? She seemed crazy enough.”
“And now that image is burned in my mind. Thanks kitty.” Ladybug sarcastically commented. “Despite the mental scarring, I am glad you got here. Seems a repeat offender got herself an upgrade in the akuma powers department.”
“Lila.”
“How did you know?”
“I was reading the ladyblog, Alya did great work on that article.” Chat noir praised. He mentally applauded his quick thinking.
“Right, kind of the reason I felt the need to keep an eye on this place. But sadly, I was too slow.” Ladybug responded a tad gloomy.
“Hey, don’t sweat it. We will finish this akuma before lunch.”
Ladybug heard a footstep from the end of the hallway.
“Get down!”
Ladybug tackled the cat hero down. Just narrowly avoiding a neon pause symbol, which now suck on the wall.
“Looks like Lila has been busy.” Chat noir noted as he turned his face to the direction of the attacker.
Ladybug looked at the akuma. The white mask covering her friend’s face. Lady Wifi was back.
“Alya…”
The two heroes got into a fighting stance and prepared to take down this controlled akuma.
________________________________________________
The halls were empty and lifeless as the two visiting teens made their way cautiously down the halls.
“Oddly quiet in here.” The fencer commented. “What do you think Luka?”
“Well last time we entered a place with an akuma in it, it was brimming with armored minions. Maybe this akuma has more stealth?” The Musician commented. “So, I don’t think you will be fighting as directly as you are use to Kagami.”
Kagami nodded at that, not exactly happy or sad regarding that remark. Her plan was to see if she could help her friends get out of the building, grab her textbook, and get out. She wasn’t really that interested in fighting a superpowered foe at this moment in time.
The two ceased speaking when they heard approaching footsteps.
“Someone’s coming.” Luka noted.
The two duck into the nearest room.
The two stayed close to the door as they listened to the sound of the approaching figure.
Kagami dropped to the floor silently as to check and see if she could get a visual.
She could only see what appeared to be costume boots of a larger figure. Which made the expert fencer believe it was not friendly.
The figure stopped, looking at the door. The two teens felt their neck hairs stand on edge as they did their best not to make a sound.
After what felt like an eternity, the figure passed the door without checking. Once the sound of his footsteps could no longer be heard, they let out a sigh of relief.
“That was way too close for comfort.”
“Agreed. I would prefer a direct confrontation next time, much less nerve-racking. “
The two carefully open the door and exit the room.
“Seems we found the akuma.” Luka commented. “Now we just need to avoid it and.”
“You mean akumas.” Kagami corrected.
“Akumas?”
Kagami tilted the boys head to look in the same direction she was looking, and sure enough she saw a rather large rock like creature walking the halls.
“Oh… well that is bad.”
Kagami pushed him back into the room and closed the door. Locking it before the rock giant could notice them.
“I’m surprised.”
“By the fact there is an 8-foot-tall rock beast outside?”
“No, by the fact you didn’t try to fight it.”
“I don’t have a weapon.” Kagami replied flatly.
Luka raised a brow at the comment, unsure if the fencer was serious or not about fighting that thing if she had a foil.
“Is something wrong?” A third voice came from behind them.
The two teens turned around, preparing for the worst. Though they were relieved to see it was just an old janitor… in a Hawaiian shirt. Despite his odd dress, he did give off a kind aura. One of a trusting old grandpa.
They noticed that the room seemed to be a sort of teacher’s lounge, with a small counter with a sink and cabinets. As well as a fridge to keep food cold and stored. A place in the school where teachers would come to get a quick coffee or store their lunch.
“Oh good, you aren’t an akuma.” Luka sighed with relief.
“An akuma?” The old man asked.
“Yes, it is very dangerous out there right now. There are multiple villains outside. I would recommend staying put while we go out there and help handle things.” Kagami explained.
“Quite bold of you to go out there against those monsters.” The man responded.
“Don’t worry, we will be careful. We just need to make sure we can get as many people out as we can so Ladybug and Chat noir won’t need to worry.”
“Ah, how selfless of you. You both seem quite capable for ones so young.”
“You’re very kind, but we are just doing what we can. Our friends are out there and they need our help.”
Kagami goes to the door. Checking to ensure the coast is clear again.
The old man pats the musician’s shoulder.
“I am sure you two will figure a way to help your friends.”
“There are too many outside this room.” Kagami grumbled. If only I had a way to fight them.”
The mysterious janitor smiled.
“Say… I did happen to see Ladybug earlier.”
The two teens turned their attention to the old man.
“You did?” they asked in unison.
“Yes, she happened to drop something while rushing. Would you two be so kind as to return them to her when you see her.”
The two of them glance at each other and shrug. The old janitor might be senile.
“Sure… We can give it to her.” Luka assured the old man, trying to remain polite.
The old man moves to a closet, where out of view of the two teens, an elaborate chest with the symbol of the guardian’s decorates the top. He quickly gets two smaller boxes and closes the closet.
“Ah! Here they are.”
He hands the two a small box each. Their eyes go wide.
“They seemed important, so I didn’t want to just leave them on the floor. But I have a feeling you two will take good care of them.”
The two teens were engrossed by the boxes in their hands. They recognized them immediately. These were the boxes Ladybug used when handing out miraculous.
“Where did you find…?” Kagami tried to question, but noticed the old man was no longer there.
“He’s gone…”
“Actually, I am over here.”
The teens look in the opposite direction they were looking in order to see him at the end of the room getting a snack from the fridge.
The duo decided that maybe this old guy wasn’t all there after all and figured it would be best to go somewhere and utilize the ‘gift’ they were just given.
“Stay in the lounge where it’s safe okay?” Luka asked politely.
“Of course. I am not paid if I am not working.”
The two teens checked the door again, and once the coast was clear. They both slipped out of the room.
After he knew they were out of sight, the old man chuckled.
“The senile routine works every time.”
“Master, you really cut it close with that one.” A small turtle creature exclaimed as he popped out from the closet.
“The universe works in mysterious ways Wayzz. What are the odds that there would be an attack on the school the very day I decide to hide out as a janitor?”
“Considering the frequency of akuma attacks, very likely.”
“True, but how about running into two individuals that Marinette had picked to be heroes.” Fu followed up.
“That is quite a coincidence.”
The guardian pulled out his phone and noticed he didn’t have a signal.
“It seems I can’t get a signal to notify her of the reinforcements I sent her way. Likely it would be the same on her end. So, it is a good thing I acted in advance.”
Fu moved to the closet where he kept the miraculous.
“I can’t help but shake the feeling Ladybug and Chat noir will need all of the help they can get.
“Don’t worry master, I am sure Ladybug and Chat noir will be successful.
“Let us keep an eye on things. They might need another ally to turn the tide.
________________________________________________________
“I am guessing you are also familiar with what’s inside here?” Kagami inquired as the two stealthily moved in the hall.
“I may be familiar with it.” Luka commented.
Kagami contemplated the statement. She figured out the truth.
“Seems we both have used a miraculous then?”
“It appears we have. Though I am not sure Ladybug will be thrilled that someone knows I have helped her.”
“I understand the sentiment. Though lets simply agree to keep it between us.” Kagami answered. “Friends do keep secrets like that if I’m correct.”
Luka smiled at the comment.
“Your secret is safe with me.” Luka assured.
“As is yours.”
The two found the locker room and quickly moved inside.
“Coast is clear.”
The two opened the boxes and as they did two magical creatures appeared in front of them.
A floating creature with multiple spikes appeared in front of the fencer, while another floating creature that resembled a cobra stood in front of luka.
“It is a pleasure to see you again Mistress Kagami.”
“It’s been too long, Longg.” Kagami smiled. Happy to see her kwami friend.
“Hello Luka, itssss been a while.” The snake kwami greeted.
“Happy to see you too Sass.” Luka fist bumped his kwami.
The kwamis stop and turn to see the other kwami there.
“Does Ladybug know about this?” They both ask in unison.
“We will inform her after. Right now, there is a lot of danger.” Kagami exclaimed. “Ladybug needs our help.”
The two kwami nod and prepare to fight.
“Consssider us accomplissses.” Sass answered.
The two teens put on the miraculous.
“Sass! Scales Slither.”
“Longg! Bring the storm”
The two teens transform into their heroic alter egos.
Kagami shifting into the dragon miraculous hero Ryuuko, and Luka changing into the Snake hero Viperion.
The two stop to glance at the other.
“So, what should I call you.” The snake hero asked curiously.
“Call me Ryuuko. And what about you mister snake?”
“Viperion is what I am going with.”
“Fitting.”
“As is yours.”
The two give a nod of comradery before making their way out of the locker room. They had to go help Ladybug.
__________________________________________________
Ladybug dashed across the hallway, avoiding pause symbols being flung at her by the conniving akuma.
She slid underneath one of the symbols and preformed a daring slide kick to knock Lady Wifi off balance.
While she was unstable, Chat noir charged and used his baton to make contact with her white mask. Believing it was the obvious weak point.
“Got it!” Chat noir exclaimed triumphantly. The strike of the staff knocking Ladywifi a good several meters. Before lying flat on her back.
“Wow, that is a tough mask. I thought for sure that was the weak point.” Chat noir commented.
Lady Wifi stood up robotically.
“There must be a way to snap her out of it. Unless Hawkmoth is learning from his mistakes.” Ladybug hypothesized as she got up from the ground.
“Well I got nothing.” Chat noir shrugged.
Another set of footsteps approaching caught the hero’s attention. The recognized the multicolored bubble maker the moment they saw him.
“Nino… You too?” Chat noir said under his breath.
The Bubble maker used his bubble wand to summon two large bubbles to capture the heroes. Bringing back flashbacks of their first encounter with the bubble akuma.
Chat noir and Ladybug expertly slide between the gaps of the attack, resulting in Lady Wifi getting hit with the large bubbles and being sent flying into the wall via bubble prison.
Chat noir lunged at the Bubbler, his quick pounce pinning him down before he could attack.
“Maybe I can destroy his mask with…”
“Wait Chat noir!” Ladybug called out.
Chat noir paused.
“What if your cataclysm doesn’t free him?”
“And then I am left without the power before a recharge.”
“Exactly. We need to hold off on using our powers right now.”
Chat noir wanted to save his friend. But he knew his partner was right. They needed to conserve their powers before facing Lila.
The Bubbler managed to get the cat hero off of him with a burst of strength. Knocking Chat noir to the ground.
Lady Wifi had gotten free from the bubble attack and was now blocking the other entrance.
Ladybug and Chat noir moved back to back, Ladybug facing the ladyblogger turned mindless akuma slave and Chat noir facing the akumatized DJ.
“Any ideas, Buggaboo?”
“Seems they can’t adapt. They are pretty much mindless slaves. Which makes sense since Lila wouldn’t want them to think for themselves.”
“So you’re saying their movements are simple.”
“Which means they are exploitable.”
Chat noir felt relief watch over him. He knew Ladybug had a plan.
_____________________________________________________
“EWWWW!” Chloé screeched in disgust. The front entrance to the school had been covered in a pink slime.
She wiped her hand on the cleanest section of wall she could find. This was not her day.
“What is with this nasty gross akuma? First, I can’t call Daddy to come and pick me up. I can’t even post about it! How will Ladybug know to save me? Or better yet, get me the bee miraculous so I can help her save the day?”
Chloé decided to try another exit, since she had no plans of sticking around without knowing if she was going to be given a miraculous or not. Plus, she did say she would call for help, and doing that would make her look good in potential hero points.
As she was walking, she bumps into something in the middle of the hall. Which was bizzare since the hall was clear.
“Ouch, right on my bruise. What the hell is…”
Chloé felt her anger shift to fear when she watched as the empty hall now contained a familiar akuma.
“Sabrina?”
The akuma turned to her, her face covered with a white face mask.
“Eww. Your akuma form looks even tacker than before.”
“Take potential akuma to master.” The akumatized Sabrina stated in an emotionless tone. Repeating the order, she had been given.
“Oh no you don’t! Sabrina, I order you to listen to me!”
The akuma ignored the blonde’s command and slowly walked towards her.
“Sabrina… I am warning you. I am going to yell at you over this later if you don’t stop right now.”
Chloé started slowly backing away. She wasn’t sure of what to do.
“Listen… if you stop right now… I’ll uh… let you take a pick of one of my old sweaters.” Chloé bargained, not intending to let her pick one of the ones she actually liked.
Chloé felt her hand touch the sealed door, and knew she was at the end of the hall. She was boxed in.
“This is so unacceptable.” Chloé stated, preparing to get captured. But a flash of Red and Black came out of nowhere and kicked the akuma hard to the wall.
“Ladybug! I knew you would like save me!” Chloé jumped and hugged her savior.
“Im not ladybug.” The heroine spoke.”
Chloé released the hug as she examined who her savior was.
“Who the hell are you?”
Chloé had never bothered to learn the names of any of the other miraculous heroes. She sometimes forgets chat noir’s name.
“Ryuuko.” The dragon heroine stated calmly, almost regretting saving Chloé.
“Did Ladybug send you? Cause it would have been better if she got me to help.”
Ryuuko decided to ignore Chloé’s comment.
“Now we need to leave before she… Where did she go?” Looking at the dented locker that no longer had an akuma lying on the ground.
Suddenly the akuma popped out of nowhere about to strike from above with her tonfa and steal Ryuuko’s powers, but was stopped when a small harp smacked her face.
“She appears to have invisibility.” A voice called out.
The two turn to see the snake hero as he caught his harp on the rebound.
Chloé took a moment to look over the snake hero. She had to admit, he was pretty cute. Not Adrien cute, maybe she would start learning the names of the other heroes.
“Quick thinking Viperion.” Ryuuko thanked the snake teen.
“Just following your lead.” Viperion responded. The two giving eachother a respectful smile. They both seemed to have gotten used to working together.
The akuma got up. Its white face mask making the akuma’s expression unreadable. But its body language exuded rage.
“Seems we aren’t going anywhere until she is taken care of.” Ryuuko said as she stared down the akuma.
Viperion turned to chloé.
“You need to go and get to safety.”
“Okay!” Chloé says as she runs off.
“How come she didn’t give you any sass?”
“Because I already have him.”
Kagami had to admit that was a clever response.
“Not what I meant, but Chat noir would love that joke.”
“I will be sure to tell him it later.”
“Stick to playing guitar. You’re a better musician than comedian.”
Before they could get off anymore banter. The akuma went for another attack.
________________________________________________________
Simularé entered Ms.Bustier’s classroom.
“I am here.” The ghostly sentimonster announced.
“Excellent.”
The sentimonster looked up to see that the classroom it was expeciting to see had been altered into what appeared to be a rather glamourous throne room. The windows covered by white curtains with the design of an akuma in black. The platforms and stairs had been altered to be marble. And at the top, where Lila’s desk once was was now a golden throne akin to something one would see in a castle. Though despite the impressive change in the classroom it was still being designed. The akuma known as the evillustrator was still creating more furnishings for the room.
“Simulare, I have an order for you.” Masquerade stated as she sat on the new throne. Clearly confident in her position.
The sentimonster approached her master. Stopping only a few feet away.
“I want you to create a mirage over the school. Since Ladybug is already in the school. It would be best if you made sure no one notices whats happening here. I don’t need any additional heroes popping in yet. Let’s handle her before making things public.”
Simularé nodded.
“Understood. But what should we do if she…”
“I have everything under control. Just follow my orders.”
Simularé ceased her questioning.
“As you wish master.”
The sentimonster shifted into her Volpina form and headed out of the classroom.
“She is getting arrogant in her power. If things do go south, I will need to step in.” Simularé said to herself. But for now, she knew she had a role to play.
_____________________________________________________________
And that ends part 34.
Seems things are REALLY heating up. Will Viperion and Ryuuko be able to help Ladybug and Chat noir?
Will Ladybug and Chat noir be able to get through to their brainwashed friends?
Will Masquerade's gambit be enough for her to get her vengeance?
Whats Simularé's deal?
Find out by staying tuned and sharing. Remember Reblogs help content creators and if you do enjoy my content, the support really does help
#ml#ml fic#miraculous ladybug#soulmate survey#soulmate searcher#miraculous fanfiction#ladynoir#masquerade akuma#lukagami#ladybug#chat noir#chloé bourgeois#drama#build up#Fan akuma#fan sentimonster#luka couffaine#kagami tsurugi#bubbler#lady wifi
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DEXTER SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS (PART TWO)
Lines taken from 2x07-2x12 of the show Dexter. Feel free to change pronouns or edit in any way to better fit your needs. Here is part one.
❛ I thrive on chaos. But this is good, too. ❜
❛ I had to do a little creative problem-solving at someone else's expense. ❜
❛ Pardon my tits. ❜
❛ Are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire? ❜
❛ Sometimes the truth speaks from a peaceful place. It's taken me a long time to find that place, but I think I have, and it's telling me you're not the right one for me. I'm so sorry. ❜
❛ Is that what I am? Clean? 'cause I don't feel that way at all. ❜
❛ No, I won't do that. I won't let you turn me into you. ❜
❛ Hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday. ❜
❛ Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. ❜
❛ No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I'll always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason. I own you. ❜
❛ When I'm alone and it's quiet, I get scared shitless, like I start hearing what's really going on inside. ❜
❛ 'Cause when you're around, I kind of feel like I can deal with anything, you know? ❜
❛ I've always worked best in the shadows, and that's where I have to stay. ❜
❛ You can't go back. You know that. ❜
❛ You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing little Miss "pardon my tits." ❜
❛ She is obviously a vampire. A gross english-titty vampire. ❜
❛ Can't change who I am. I'm crass and dirty, and...I have a very filthy mind. ❜
❛ Jesus Christ. They sell anyone a gun in Florida, won't they? ❜
❛ That man. He wasn't trying to rob you. He was trying to kill you. ❜
❛ Nothing you could do,___, would scare me. ❜
❛ Whatever comes, we'll get through this together. I'm not leaving your side. ❜
❛ I need to embrace who I am, who I've always been. ❜
❛ It's like I've been living underwater, holding my breath, and now I can finally breathe. ❜
❛ ___ almost had me believing it was possible to change, to become something else, as if that ever really happens. I've always known what I am. ❜
❛ I'm finding it's best to accept things you can't change, you know? ❜
❛ Is this the monster that you keep telling me about? ❜
❛ Trust me, when you meet the monster, you'll know. ❜
❛ Nice. My subconscious isn't even bothering with symbolism. ❜
❛ I feel...such regret, which is rare for me. But not that I don't mess up. I do...just never so stupendously. ❜
❛ If they're looking for proof, they won't find it. Not here at least. ❜
❛ Then maybe you should come with us, because who knows what secrets will come ❜ pouring out of me once the drinks start flowing. ❜
❛ I'm done with it and you. Did I not make that clear last night? ❜
❛ Those friends of yours, they didn't even know you. They just see the mask, but I see it all. ❜
❛ Can't live with her. Can't kill her. ❜
❛ Fuck! I'm talking about my feelings. What the fuck is your problem? ❜
❛ I've always sensed there was something... off about him. Like he's hiding in plain sight. ❜
❛ If you got in the middle of this and you got hurt… ❜
❛ The only way I can help you is if you turn yourself in. ❜
❛ Don't you disappear on me. ❜
❛ I want you to know that you meant a lot to me, more than you know, and... I just want to thank you for that. ❜
❛ If I never see her again, it'll be too soon. ❜
❛ Sleep would be nice, but there's too much to do. ❜
❛ Okay, I may be sleeping with him, but it doesn't mean he tells me shit or listens to me about anything, so stop asking! ❜
❛ That's right, motherfucker! It's over. ❜
❛ I knew there was something with you. But this shit? ❜
❛ What can I say? You were right about me. I never held it against you. I don't now. ❜
❛ It's a graze wound. Minor tissue abrasion. No hemorrhage along the bullet track. Sorry. I think I'm gonna live. ❜
❛ If you're not gonna let me go, then kill me now. Just get it over with. ❜
❛ You're a killer. I catch killers. ❜
❛ So it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it? ❜
❛ Either kill me or set me free. ❜
❛ Taking a life is one thing, but the care and feeding of it is another. ❜
❛ I'm generally confused most of the time. ❜
❛ You ever care about anyone? Then you shouldn't have to ask. 'Cause when you care about someone, you do what you have to do. ❜
❛ I remember when life was easy, when the only question I worried about was "who's next?" Now it's: "How can I dodge my protective detail? "What should I do with my hostage?" These are not easy questions. ❜
❛ It's not about what I think. It's all about the evidence. ❜
❛ Hair-pulling may not be manly, but it's very effective. ❜
❛ If he wanted me dead, I'd be dead by now. ❜
❛ You are the only one I can count on, jackass. ❜
❛ It puts a pit in my stomach that I can only interpret as... sadness. ❜
❛ You working on an exit strategy? I'm afraid that's not gonna happen. ❜
❛ How come there's never a circus when you need one? ❜
❛ What was that shit last night? Some kind of fucking scare tactic? ❜
❛ Don't test me. I could have killed you. I didn't. ❜
❛ You're actually angry. I've never seen you angry. This is good. ❜
❛ I should warn you. You can't play on my feelings. I don't have any. ❜
❛ It's a tough job. It can wear on even the best of us. ❜
❛ I yell a lot...and bitch and complain, and I keep expecting people to guess what I want, but I never really say it. ❜
❛ And that was exciting, you know? The not knowing. What might happen, what could be. It was all possibility. ❜
❛ Your life is going to rest in the hands of the criminal justice system you put all your faith in. I wish you the best of luck. ❜
❛ You need help. Let me help you. ❜
❛ You don't have to do this! You don't have to kill this man! ❜
❛ Sorry it had to go down like this. But there really was no other way. ❜
❛ Stay away. Just stay away from me. ❜
❛ Did you happen to be stuffing a human leg into a garbage bag at that point? ❜
❛ There's that anger again. You got to let that out. ❜
❛ You're spinning. Let me help you. It's only a matter of time before you'll hurt someone else. ❜
❛ Take responsibility for who you are. ❜
❛ Why can't you just let me go? ❜
❛ If I got to choose a person... A real person... to be like, out of anyone, it'd be you. ❜
❛ Who joined who in the shower this morning? ❜
❛ For such a neat monster, I'm making an awfully big mess. ❜
❛ Maybe this is how evil works. Destroying everything it touches. ❜
❛ I've been held prisoner in a cabin for two fucking days. Fucking hellhole. ❜
❛ After everything we've been through lately, I just want... to be together with you guys. ❜
❛ You told me to take responsibility for what I am. You were right. ❜
❛ I can't live in this house of cards anymore, waiting for it all to fall down. I need to do something, you know? ❜
❛ If I do this, I need a day to get my affairs in order. ❜
❛ Mention that when they interview you for the story of my life. ❜
❛ Don't leave me in this cage, anything could happen. ❜
❛ I lie to everyone I know... except my victims right before I kill them. It's hard to establish much of a rapport there. ❜
❛ Sorry about the cage. ❜
❛ I've always been curious to try. Do you have any weed? ❜
❛ Love's a battlefield. Or in your case, a restraining order. ❜
❛ When a pretty girl smiles and bats her eyelashes, we're powerless to resist. ❜
❛ I met with a lawyer yesterday. He helped me prepare a living trust that gives you control of all my assets in the event of my death or... certain other situations. ❜
❛ God. Go away. This is creepy. ❜
❛ I'm free tonight, you wanna stop by? We'll have beer, a couple of steaks? I wanna talk to you about something. ❜
❛ I just need you to know that... you and the kids are very important to me. No matter what happens, I want you to always know that. ❜
❛ I know I've been taking things slow with us, but it's not because I don't have feelings for you. It's more like I have too many feelings, and I just wanna make sure to get it right. ❜
❛ I want you gone. Tonight. ❜
❛ I've spent a lifetime keeping up my guard, watching my back, wearing my mask. Relief was never in sight until now. ❜
❛ Lately, I was starting to feel like I had my head pretty far up my ass. ❜
❛ You decide who you are, who you want to be...and you hold onto that and ride it out. ❜
❛ I need some help! Just open the door! I'm being held captive. ❜
❛ Damn, it's good to see another face. I never thought I would. ❜
❛ When something beyond reason happens, it turns skeptics into believers. ❜
❛ If you believe that God makes miracles, you have to wonder if Satan has a few up his sleeve. ❜
❛ I can't exactly feel their pain, but I can appreciate it. ❜
❛ I kinda forgot who I was. I got it straight now. ❜
❛ The term is homicidal maniac. Not that I'm judging. ❜
❛ A public place. You thought I was gonna...That I would slip my needle into your neck? ❜
❛ You're afraid of me now, aren't you? ❜
❛ You're emotionally color-blind. You use the right words, you pantomime the right behavior, but feelings never come to pass. ❜
❛ You know the dictionary definition of emotions: longing, joy, sorrow...You have no idea of what any of those things actually feel like. ❜
❛ I created a monster of my own. ❜
❛ What did you do to make her so pathetically crazy for you? Does your dick dance? ❜
❛ What're we doing home in the middle of the day? She asked, hoping for sex. ❜
❛ Why? Why do I have to make up my mind? ❜
❛ I've never put much weight onto the idea of a higher power. But if I didn't know better, I'd have to believe that some force out there wants me to keep doing what I'm doing. ❜
❛ As it turns out, nobody mourns the wicked. ❜
❛ Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions. I don't have the answers. ❜
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People having dibs on when the writers should post their stories are CRAZY excuse me, they’re giving us stories they don’t have to write but they still do and some people are like no, thank you?????!!!! I’m gonna turn off the internet for those freaks. If I ever get 5 different stories on Monday I would just explode with happiness and gratitude. Some people just take things for granted, that’s wrong. Like, we’re on hiatus, we don’t have content to look for for another +1 month so the only thing keeping me sane is the fics you guys are giving us. Why just have 1 fic through the entire hiatus when we can have a lot more? And let me add that the writers in the Upstead fandom are so fucking good. Like, I’m not kidding when I say that everything I read is more o less so spot on on what we would see on tv, and that’s all thank to you writer(s). That means you know the characters you are writing extremely well and that is portrayed on your stories.
In conclusion, to complaining-anons and haters: just mind your business.
To the writers/content creators: The more content the better. Don’t get annoyed or discouraged by what has been said because it’s not worthy. Feel free to create whatever you like and post it whenever you want. You don’t owe anything to anyone. I can assure you there is no competition inside the fandom, there is no writer more popular and important than the others. I personally don’t see it that way. And honestly, a quick look inside the fandom and anyone would see how you guys are all supporting of each other, defending each other from copied fics, stolen gifsets etc….
Immeasurable respect and love for all of you content creators ❤️🌹
Anon, I need you to scream this from the rooftops because you said everything SO BRILLIANTLY!!
There are 7 days in a week and dozens on dozens of creators in this fandom spanning so many different platforms. Are we supposed to just create a new day of the week to make sure we are avoiding “overlap”?? Which in my mind is just a stupid thing to complain about anyway considering double or triple the content in one day only sounds like a blessing.
Echoing what you said, in my experience at least, the content creators in this fandom have been just as (if not more) supportive than regular content consumers. Which makes it so frustrating to me to see anons complaining “on behalf of” these content creators over things that aren’t and shouldn’t be problems.
Thank you for putting this together and for laying everything out so wonderfully. Hopefully your wisdom gets into some of these people’s heads.
My message to the anons/trolls: stop trying to stir up drama where drama doesn’t exist. None of us want that, especially not us content creators. Your dumb little anon takes might be the reason we creators stop creating content at all
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DaveFarts - Episode 1 “FartsApp” [Episode List] Since he’s a gassy nerd, Dave teases his friend Tim via WhatsApp by sending him a series of short videos of him farting.
FartsApp
Being gay with a fart fetish is really hard sometimes.
For me at least.
While the world is definitely getting more open-minded about homosexuality, I can’t really force it to accept this weird fetish (to be honest, all fetishes are kinda treated like taboos, regardless of the sexuality involved). I had to settle for YouTube videos or websites devoted to this whole fart-sniffing thing; not that I’m complaining: it was good to discover that so many people actually had this fetish.
Cue Dave. Well, sort of, actually. He doesn’t have a fart fetish and he’s not even gay. Dave has been my best friend since forever. Unlike me, however, he’s straight and is currently dating some (lucky) girl.
Around my age, he’s like a brother to me, and we’re actually well-known because of how much time we always spend with each other.
Dave is a great guy, a great friend, very open-minded and, dare to say it, actually quite hot.
Not surprisingly, being the brother I never had, he’s the first friend I came out to, the only one who knows about my homosexuality. Actually, it’s not like I told him… he found out on his own, in the worst possible way (for me).
During one of our nerdy game-nights, being “that one gassy friend”, Dave started to rip -as usual- tons of farts, fueled by some junk food, until he ripped one directly in my face (and boy it was amazing…). Everything went downhill from there… kinda. For some reason or another… he just accepted all at once not only my homosexuality, but also the fact that I found face-farting… hot. He just laughed about it and honestly gave me some encouraging words about my peculiar situation, proving that he’s indeed the best friend ever. Oh… and he also literally farted for me after that, in my face, letting me sniff and enjoy his amazing rips; he can also fart on command apparently: got a taste of his talent that same night.
That one, surreal night.
I still can’t believe it happened.
Felt like a confused dream. Like one of those nights where you drink too much so you don’t clearly remember what happened. But it was all true.
Dave, my best friend, was perfectly fine with me, my fetish, and all this weird stuff.
Yes: I know how lucky I am.
It’s been 4 months since he found out.
And, believe it or not, I’m getting face-farted so often that I’m almost forgetting how beautiful it feels.
Seriously: Dave simply accepted it like I’m living in someone’s crazy fetish dream and, when we’re alone, he just casually farts in my face (without me asking for it). Not always, but very often.
Surprisingly enough, despite the fact that my nose spends a lot of time brushing against his denim-covered butt, our friendship didn’t change at all though: we still hang out with the rest of our friends and generally spend a lot of time together.
Sometimes I’m so in disbelief about how easy-going he’s been with me, that I randomly ask him “You sure you’re OK with… this?” (I say, gesturing all of me), but he just smiles or rolls his eyes annoyed, tired of hearing the same question over and over again. What can I say? He’s perfectly comfortable with his own sexuality I guess, so he doesn’t have any problem with my fetish.
Sometimes though -sorry I say this- I kinda wish he did…
No, I’m definitely not complaining. That’s the best possible scenario for me, but sometimes he can get a bit too… inopportune. Dave is not really a prankster, but he loves teasing his friends, just for fun, including me.
I was in the middle of an important exam once, one of these pop-quiz thingies that make zero sense, and I felt my phone vibrate. I checked my FB private messages and all I saw was this YouTube link sent by Dave. Since I’m a fool apparently, I clicked on it, and one of those popular YouTube fart videos popped up and played, one with really loud farts. The first fart actually echoed in the room and other students glared at me: never felt so embarrassed (not including the night Dave found out about my fetish).
“Dude! Stop sending me this stuff!” I texted him. “I’m in the middle of an exam here!”
I scolded him for this, but the truth is that I couldn’t ask for a friend more open-minded than him.
The fact that he teases him with fart videos like he teases our heterosexual friends with those “shock” porn pics made me feel more… accepted.
But still… I was in the middle of an important exam so he had to stop.
And he obviously didn’t.
He sent me like 10 other links, just to annoy the sh%t out of me.
I mocked him by texting something like “Those videos are quite hard to find. Guess you’re gay too then!” but he would reply with “I had a great teacher!” and send me one of my awkward photos from Facebook.
Other times, since our friendship didn’t change a bit, he even made random references to my homosexuality or even my fart fetish when messaging me to make plans for the night (especially during the weekend). This mostly happens on WhatsApp:
Dave: “Dude, you have to come with us. Stop being a whiny little bi*ch and get up from that couch!”
Tim: “Sorry, man. I don’t think I’ll be joining you tonight…”
Dave: “You know what? If you don’t come with us… you’re gay!”
Dave: “Sorry, I mean… if you don’t come with us, you’re a fuc*ing heterosexual!
Dave: "U ride pussy, don’t you? Fuc*ing straight people!”
He was obviously being sarcastic, but I just loved how he adapted his… uhm… “humor” to my situation.
One time, however, things got a bit… hotter for me…
Dave: “Dude, come over. We have a lot to study…”
Tim: “Sorry, really can’t today. Aren’t you with Dana right now anyway?”
Dave: “I need somebody to focus with, not focus on. You know me and Dana always end up in bed after like 20 minutes.”
Dave: “It’s awesome but this stuff ain’t gonna study itself…”
Yep. Dave and his girlfriend Dana apparently had a very active sex life.
Glad he was getting laid. And Dana was pretty cool to be honest.
Tim: “Dave, sorry. Maybe tomorrow, k?”
Dave: “Dude! Come on! I’m farting like crazy today!”
Did… did he just try to “bribe” me using his farting abilities?
Dave: “Seriously. I just ripped one that was like 10 seconds long. What a waste of farts!”
Tim: “Dave… are you crazy?”
Took a couple of minutes to reply to that one, and then I got two messages at once.
Dave: “Oh yessss, Tim, crazy for youuuuuu!” he wrote, with a heart emoticon at the end (again, he’s a sassy bi*ch as usual).
I then saw that WhatsApp was loading a video sent by him, an actual video, not a link.
It was Dave, a smirk drawn on his face while staring at the camera. He was wearing a simple black shirt. The view soon moved and I saw his slightly sagging-butt in jeans sitting on a wooden chair, and then heard this big fart echoing in his living room (he was alone), rumbling loudly and hard on the wooden surface. He even turned the camera to his face while he was forcing the “classic”-sounding fart out, making funny facial expressions; indeed, the fart lasted almost 10 seconds, and I obviously loved that: biggest farts I’ve ever heard from him in awhile! It was like watching those funny fartvines on… well… Vine, but having my best friend as the funny/hot farter this time.
Dave: “Hope that convinced you…” he then texted.
I was kinda… “offended” by that last message.
I mean, yeah, I seriously wanted to be there, but I always love spending time with Dave, farts or not (that’s why we’ve been friends since… forever).
Tim: “Are you seriously using farts to buy my friendship? It’s not like I don’t want to study with you. I just can’t today!”
Was that too harsh? Should I have added a smiley face at the end?
Only thing I was sure of, is that I never thought that a sentence like that would even make sense someday.
And I was still bewildered by how Dave was so comfortable with the fact that I loved farts.
Tim: “You don’t need farts to convince me, Dave. More like… you’re making me suffer!” I joked, finally breaking the ice myself with a reference to my embarrassing fetish, proving that I indeed wanted to be there with him, enjoying those farts.
Another couple of minutes passed.
Was he making another…?
Dave: “I know you’re suffering, Tim. Don’t worry. That’s why I’m sending you this.”
Oh boy, another video. Should I play it? Was he aware that I was getting a boner from all of this?
I literally pitched a tent in my pants.
There… it’s Dave again, this time sitting on the couch. The video started with his face winking at the camera with a sly smile; the camera then moved between his legs and slowly panned towards his butt in loose jeans (he probably put his legs on the small table in front of his couch, to make his butt more visible). Now I had a rather unique (and hot -for me) view of both his butt (and part of his crotch) in jeans and his face. He grinned wildly and the fart began, ripped right in front of the phone. The sound and the views were perfect; Dave moved the camera towards his butt as the fart kept going strong, sounding like a deep trumpet; I could see the detailed blue fabric of his jeans as the funny sounds continued. What a lucky phone!
It lasted around 8 seconds and it was simply the hotness.
The video ended with Dave laughing at the camera and all went pitch black.
Tim: “You’re insane, Dave!” I joked again, enjoying how crazy he was about this. And for me I guess.
But I had to tell him.
Tim: “Dave, you do know that all of this gave me a… well…”
But as I was halfheartedly writing the second part of the message, Dave wrote more stuff.
Dave: “Then go beat your meat! I can’t do everything for you, Tim.”
Dave: “And please don’t act like this is some kind of big deal…
Dave: "Wow, Tim got a boner! How impressive!”
Dave: “Let’s all bow to Tim, the mighty guy whose penis can turn bigger!”
Dave: “Behold, the Great Tim! The guy who once had a boner and had to tell everyone!”
Further proof that Dave was being the best friend ever.
He was clearly being sarcastic; he was joking. That was his way of telling me “Nah bro, it’s all good”. And I was kinda surprised that he was so… chill about this stuff. I literally had a boner because of him and he just… didn’t care. As I said, he’s very open minded and perfectly comfortable with his own sexuality, so he didn’t have the irrational fear of “turning gay” when doing this stuff with and for me. I also appreciated that he trusted me with those funny, but otherwise embarrassing videos.
After one or two minutes, I’ve received one big audio file and I just knew what I was going to get when I clicked the triangular-shaped button to play them.
I heard Dave singing my name like he was some kind of serial killer trying to find me.
Dave: “Tim… come here…”
I then heard a series of muffled noises, as if the camera was being put under something, and it was clear what: I in fact then heard the loud, audio-glitching sound of one big fart that lasted around four seconds.
Dave: “He’s waiting for you…” he sung again in that creepy tone of voice.
Another fart, just as big as the first one.
He was on fire that day!
Now I was both laughing like an idiot and having the biggest boner.
Tim: “Dude, you’re on fire! But… to be honest, that was kinda gay…” I chuckled.
Dave: “Says the guy who gets a boner when he hears a fart. You fuc*ing hypocrite.”
He then sent yet another audio file, with him singing that meme-song “I’m gay, gay, gay, I love long big c*cks”, but slightly changing the lyrics. He even put a karaoke version of it on his computer while recording the audio file.
Dave: “You are gay, gay gay, you love long big farts. ‘cuz you’re supah-super gay, and you love big…”
Fittingly enough, a huge fart from my best friend took over the last part of the song. Loud as usual, sounding like a deep chainsaw. I could just imagine how beautiful that was. But the best part was probably the fact that he was definitely farting for me. I know, not your usual “hot sexy” scenario… more like a “sweet” one, in a very twisted way of course.
I wasn’t obviously offended by that “gay song”, since I knew that Dave was just being silly as usual and his mocking words were definitely not mean-spirited.
Tim: “Aren’t you supposed to be studying right now?” I asked.
Dave: “I don’t know, aren’t you supposed to be here right now?”
Tim: “Dude, seriously. Thank you! But I’m serious… I really can’t today.”
Dave: “Alright… alright… cya tonight faggot…” he wrote, with a heart-shaped emoticon at the end.
I just rolled my eyes and chuckled a bit, then drove my attention to my own books.
This was going to be a long afternoon. But after only one minute of silence, my phone vibrated wildly: it was Dave and he was calling me. Very unusual in that moment.
“Uhm… Dave? Hello?” I picked up.
I was greeted by a series of “Dude, sorry!” and I was really confused.
“Dave… what?”
It was just Dave being adorkable I guess.
“Dude, sorry about that 'faggot'… that was bit too much, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
I laughed in disbelief. “Bro, it’s OK. I’m not offended. I know you didn’t want to insult me or anything…”
“No, Tim. That one word is not a joke and I shouldn’t have used it, sorry.”
I was just… wow. Dave went from “dominant friendly farter” to “adorable/awkward confused puppy” in mere seconds. Further proof that I was the luckiest guy alive (fetish or not): Dave cared so much for me that he even apologized for the “f-word”, which admittedly is a very bad word for a guy like me. But this time it was coming from Dave, my best friend, a guy who cares so much about me that he would even “censor” his language just to avoid unfortunate implications.
Ironically enough, the roles were switched, and he was the one saying a rapid-fire series of “sorry!” this time.
“Dave, quit with the apologizing. You’re the best.” I chuckled. “We’re bros, that’s what we do: we insult each other!”
“Alright… you sure? Not going to use that word ever again though.”
“Dave… it’s OK. You’re the best.”
“OK… OK. See you tonight. Take care.”
And he hang up.
He just wanted to make sure that he didn’t accidentally offend me by calling me a “fag”.
I would have been, if it wasn’t coming from Dave.
But then again, he also said that he was going to kick in the face whoever dared to insult me.
And he said that before he found out the truth about me: he’s always been quite protective.
“Oh come on!” I shouted, almost annoyed, merely five minutes later, when I heard the phone vibrate one more time.
It was Dave. Again.
He sent another video.
I tried to scoff at it but I was obviously loving all of this instead.
He was lying on the couch, the camera focusing on his butt in jeans. I could see both his face and butt, at the same time. It was like he filmed the video imagining my POV when he farted in my face, and I absolutely enjoyed that.
“Alright, Tim… Sorry for calling you a faggot.” he spoke in a “comically” serious voice. He truly was “sorry”, but it was clear that he was trying not to laugh. “I’m really, really sorry, believe me.”
Keeping a straight face, he ripped an incredibly loud, deep fart at the camera. He didn’t bat an eye, blink or smile. He eventually lost it towards the end of that 6-seconds long blast. He chuckled a bit and then turned “serious” again.
“That was a sad fart… we’re both sorry.”
He then closed his eyes and made a funny face, signing in relief as he ripped another long fart, the lucky camera slowly panning towards the seams and textures of the blue denim covering his powerful sagging butt. It lasted almost 10 seconds: truly a fart master. And those weren’t even on command!
“Oh my…” I whispered, staring in awe at the amazing video.
“This one was on the house…” he chuckled, right before turning the phone to his butt one last time and ripping a short series of toots, grinning wildly, clearly forcing those smaller farts out just for me. And that was it.
My boner was definitely wet now as bits of that well-known white substance poured from the tip of of my “standing” dick, slightly dampening my boxers and pants. It was like a volcano going to explode. A volcano that, just like me, couldn’t take it anymore. I rushed to the bathroom and furiously beat my meat, almost strangling my rock-hard penis with a firm grip. I didn’t last much: I literally peed sperm, thinking of Dave’s farts. The best part is that I didn’t need to imagine anything: it was all real. I laughed in relief just as I felt my penis deflating like a balloon, after it vomited its white substance. It felt good, not “masturbation good”, like “life is good”. And it was.
My best friend, Dave, was this fantastic guy who, in his own, twisted way, was taking care of me, accepting me, making me comfortable with my fart fetish. A gassy, open-minded, mildly disgusting “bro” who only wanted to preserve our friendship.
And I couldn’t be happier.
End of Episode 1
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discussing phil’s perspective & his genuine compassion for fundy
word count: approximately 1.3k
this is going to be very all over the place, but there are some things i wanted to discuss about the new lore drop from phil and fundy.
for a long time, there were many fundy enthusiasts, including myself, who did not understand phil’s resentment towards fundy and the rest of new l’manberg. sure, we understood that he probably hated them because of the butcher army fiasco, but there was always something more, especially with how phil felt incredibly disconnected with the rest of nlm at the beginning of season two.
we thought it didn’t make sense, but that new piece of information from the most recent lore stream just. makes EVERYTHING make sense. if i had the time, i’d dig into more on how perspective matters in the dream smp, and how every action, no matter how crazy or nonsensical it may seem, would always have a reason.
but again, i have no time for that, and i know other people have already made essays for that, so let me focus on how wilbur’s letters to phil gave us a reason as to why phil acted like an asshole at certain times. because for the longest time, we thought that phil was being unnecessarily harsh on tubbo and fundy, but after this, it made sense!
wilbur painted a picture in phil’s head that l’manberg was beautiful. it was infallible. it was grace, it was hope, it was overall perfect. this piece of information is crucial as to why phil resented tubbo, fundy, and quackity. wilbur told phil that l’manberg was developing, and of COURSE phil would also think that tubbo, fundy, and quackity would be grateful for l’manberg! with the image wilbur made, phil would automatically think the other three would be grateful for everything l’manberg and wilbur has provided them.
so when phil sees these three as withdrawn or violent or overly defensive that they’d looked down upon techno, dream, and wilbur, of COURSE phil would think they were ungrateful little bastards. because in phil’s head, he thinks that “why would these three act so violent when they had such a great life before nlm?”. phil thinks that they aren’t traumatized, that they haven’t been exposed to violence, so to phil, HE thinks that THEY are the ones being nonsensical.
the only thing he believes that the three have suffered is witnessing wilbur’s death, which is also the only other thing phil suffered! phil’s problems root a lot from wilbur’s death, but with the perfect image of l’manberg in his head, he also thinks that the other three’s issues only stem from wilbur’s death as well. so when phil finally moves on, when phil finally finishes grieving but then sees that the other three are still defensive and on guard? of course phil would think that they are ungrateful shitheads! this doesn’t excuse phil’s actions of course, but now, we finally realize WHY he did the things he did. WHY he was so rude towards fundy and tubbo ESPECIALLY.
it’s all just miscommunication! phil thought that nlm was being awful because phil thought there would be no reason to be ungrateful, but nlm thought phil was the one being ungrateful because he never acknowledged that the three HAVE been through traumatizing events in the past. it’s all a misunderstanding gone awry.
now, with that point out of the way, i want to discuss one more thing: phil’s apology to fundy. i’ve seen two takes about the way phil interacted with fundy that i don’t necessarily agree with: 1.) phil’s apology to fundy was awful because he never outright said “sorry”, and 2.) phil never really intended to reconnect with fundy, only viewing him as a tool to help him find wilbur.
these two takes are not something i necessarily agree with, so i’m here to expound my thoughts on that.
on the first point, why do we need phil to verbally tell fundy he’s sorry? i know that sometimes, people would still think highly of themselves that they would refuse to say “sorry” outright, but i think that, for fundy, it doesn’t really matter.
fundy is extremely alone. point blank. if you’ve watched fundy’s perspective from the beginning of the election arc up until now, he has always loathed wilbur because he left him alone. that was always the main point: that fundy was alone, that fundy has no one, or that wilbur was just always absent.
companionship and just the presence of someone caring for fundy already means SO MUCH for fundy. fundy complains and cries about loneliness, and what did phil do in the entire stream? he stuck to fundy. he listened. fundy has talked about how he felt like people weren’t listening, that when he needed others the most, they would leave. but what did phil do? after fundy confessed his dreams, after fundy confessed the truth about the election, after fundy cried and shouted at phil- phil remained. he stayed. he listened, he didn’t berate fundy, and most importantly, he stayed.
and while phil still didn’t say he was sorry, sometimes those little, subtle actions could be enough. maybe it would even be seen as something more powerful than a “sorry”.
and also! phil not saying sorry could direct back to my main point: he didn’t know the gravity of fundy’s situation. because fundy tells him that wilbur left him alone, but in phil’s perspective, he thinks that fundy’s only talking about wilbur’s last canon death. phil doesn’t think that fundy’s hurt originates from events WAY BEFORE THAT. so, it’d make sense why phil didn’t apologize in the most proper way he can. he just didn’t realize how much deeper fundy’s issues are.
and again, it doesn’t mean phil is a 100% good person and everything he did was excused! i just mean that every action has a reason behind it. and even THEN, phil still acted so kindly towards fundy.
AND THAT PROCEEDS TO THE NEXT POINT: did phil only call fundy just because of wilbur’s revival, and not because he cared for him? well, NO. why can’t we have both? why couldn’t have phil called fundy for wilbur’s revival AND genuinely care about him at the same time?
because the thing is, the fact that phil called fundy because he thought fundy had the right to know IS PHIL GENUINELY BEING CARING TOWARDS FUNDY. phil knows what wilbur meant to fundy, because wilbur means a lot to phil as well. if phil truly, truly hated fundy, he wouldn’t even call fundy in the first place. and when fundy arrived, phil didn’t eyeroll at him, or interrupt his rants, or do anything awful. he was calm, kind and lighthearted- phil didn’t feel like he was forced to call fundy at all.
phil called fundy about wilbur because he has a genuine care FOR fundy. i think this was especially seen at the end when phil was telling him to prepare mentally. when phil told fundy to not lose himself. would that sound like a man who ONLY CARED ABOUT WILBUR? NO! OF COURSE NOT! phil seemed like he genuinely CARED about fundy’s wellbeing, and he didn’t want him to destroy himself!
sure, this meeting would have only happened if wilbur was revived, but it doesn’t change the fact that in this meeting, phil still showed that he had genuine compassion for fundy. he can be concerned about wilbur’s resurrection WHILE ALSO CARING FOR FUNDY, it isn’t a this or that situation.
(ps. also, other note to add: if you still continue villainizing phil for being x and y, it erases the importance of that one scene where he revealed that he’s been heavily lied to by wilbur.)
tldr; perspective is very important when we want to make sense of actions done by characters in the dream smp. it doesn’t excuse any character’s actions if they did something wrong, but it gives us an insight of why characters do these things. additionally, phil genuinely cares about fundy. he may not outright say “sorry”, or he might’ve only called fundy because of wilbur’s revival, but phil showed that he DOES care about fundy nonetheless.
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Humanity of the Inhuman | Kim Sunwoo
summary — legends are meant for the wild fantasies of the dream world, but when one myth suddenly comes true, you find yourself tangled within its webs of reality.
word count — 7.2k words
pairing — sunwoo x female!reader (ft. x juyeon in a sense?)
genre — college au, gumiho au
disclaimer — !! light mentions of death, blood, and injury !! this is an wip of fic that I did not have the energy to complete, so it leaves off at a pretty big cliff hanger :( but if enough people enjoy it it I’ll make a part 2 or sumn lol (update: it does in fact have a part 2 now, go enjoy it!)
part I | part II | part III | part IV?
I.
“Nine tailed foxes,” the instructor stated, pointing their finger towards the pictures that were projected upon the board. There were three different depictions of the creature from other cultures posted up together, expressing how each of the cultures viewed the mythical being. Mindlessly you began to draw on the notebook set in front of you, taking in each picture and messing different aspects that you liked together.
“Known as the Kitsune in Japan, the Huli Jing in China, and the Gumiho here,” they continued, switching to the next slide that only displayed more old pictures of the fox, “they are a well known part of our folklore today that even western countries have begun to adopt their own version of this creature into their literature.”
“If it’s so popular, why are we learning about it now,” you mumbled, the lead of your pencil snapping as soon as the words had been spoken into existence. You let out a deep sigh at the inconvenience, letting an angry curse come out of your mouth as you leaned over to grab something new to write with.
Though you stopped mid turn as a black pen was placed into your vision. Curiously you glanced up to catch the smiling sight of Juyeon above you, waving around his pen and urging you to take it from his hand. “We’re learning about the Gumiho because it’s an important part of our folklore, just because it’s well known doesn’t mean you shouldn’t teach it.”
He was an acquaintance, nothing more than that, a “school friend” if that made more sense. You had met him the first day you attended the mythology class after picking up the course for fun, seeing as the only available seat in the room was by him. Having no friends who attended the class at the same time as you, he had offered to become one and you gladly took up his request in order to feel a little less only in the room full of strangers.
It was a little odd to see a class so minor like this be jam packed with students, but you did notice the recent influx of people who were interested in the mythologies of their and others cultures.
Plus, you didn’t do very well on your own and were a little more socially dependent than you’d like to admit, so Juyeon’s willingness to befriend you was greatly appreciated.
“Well, I guess you’re right,” you shrug, gratefully taking the pen out of his hands. “But still, what person doesn’t know the wild tales of the nine tailed foxes? They’re like… everywhere now. If I meet someone who didn’t even have a clue what I was talking about, I’d be surprised.”
“You never know,” Juyeon continued, urging you to take a look at the board. Being presented was the Korean version of the nine tailed fox, a few notes typed beside the art describing the details and depictions of what was generally believed about the fox demon. “Maybe one day you’ll need that information to save yourself from a Gumiho one day?”
You snorted at his words, pointing out one of the bullet points to him and quietly reading them to him. “First of all, this is a mythology class. That means everything we learn here is a myth, not real? Secondly, it clearly says that they seduce men and last time I checked, I’m not a man.”
“Well, I guess you’ve got a point there,” he nodded, laying his head in his hands as he half heartedly listened to the teacher speak. “I guess I’m the one who should be paying more attention to the lecture since I’m the man, but I don’t think a Gumiho would ever find interest in me.”
“Why?” You questioned, a teasing smile appearing on your face and you poked the pin cap into his side. “It’s said that gumihos eat human livers, do you have bad livers or something? Do you have some sort of liver disease that would make you undesirable to a fox?”
“If I say yes will you stop poking me?” He innocently asked.
“I’d know you’re lying if you said yes, you’re rather healthy despite some… odd habits you have,” you clarify, giving the boy a skeptical look before turning back towards the board. You were only acquaintances with Juyeon, but there were times you’d catch him in the hallways of the building or dorms when you were looking for Kevin doing skeptical activities. Most of the time he was just smuggling snacks that his roommate would steal out of the room but man did he look crazy while he did so.
“Hey, those aren’t odd habits, it’s me protecting what I paid for,” Juyeon argued, a pout developing on his face as he tried to explain himself, “if you don’t pay for it, you don’t get a bite of it! That’s the rules and you have to respect the rules.”
You only spared Juyeon a quick glance, your eyes full of skepticism for him. He was a nice guy, a decent person to hang around, but awkwardly catching him in the hallways like a criminal running from a crime scene was all you had to see from him to determine whether or not you wanted to hang around him often. “Y/N, seriously! I'm not some freak I promise, my roommates and I just do this often and—“
“Sure, Juyeon,” you nodded, softly patting his back in only slight comfort. “I completely understand what you mean.”
“Y/N!” He complained a little louder this time, earning some sneaking looks from the rest of your peers. The two of you weren’t the biggest troublemakers but you did have a volume problem more often than you’d like to admit. Though, that was mainly because Juyeon doesn’t understand when to keep his mouth shut. “Come on, Y/N, I know you don’t believe what I’m saying but you gotta! I can even show you what we—“
“I really don’t want to walk into that room,” you decline almost immediately, “something tells me I’ll regret it if I do.”
A small chuckle left Juyeon’s mouth at your harsh words, finally taking the response as an end to the conversation. It seemed as though the two of you had stopped just in time though, as a deep sigh left your instructor’s lips. The entire class turned their head towards him in confusion, unsure on what sort of gloom had possessed their mythology teacher.
“I think… I’ll end class early today,” he declared, turning off the board that had projected the day’s lesson. In a flash, your reference for your very own nine tailed fox disappeared in front of your eyes as the instructor continued to speak. “The rain just… throws me off the mood for today.”
Instinctively you turned your head toward the window and lo and behold, the rain was pouring down outdoors. Many students groaned at the sudden change in forecast, not having brought umbrellas to shield them from such weather since the day had called from sunny skies. “Ah… that’s gonna suck going home,” you tell yourself, noting how even you hadn’t brought an umbrella.
“Excuse me!” A student called out, drawing attention to the front of the class where they had seated themselves. “If you don’t mind me asking, are you superstitious? Usually rain is considered a good thing especially on wedding days. It’s supposed to be a good omen for the future of their marriage.”
“Superstitious?” He hummed in response, thinking to himself for a few moments before answering. “Well, in a sense? Not for the reasons you think I am though.”
“Does it have something to do with gumihos?” You couldn’t help but ask, curiosity getting the best of you as you blurted out in front of everyone. The class turned back to look at you expectantly, exchanging confused and bewildered glances with each other. Even Juyeon looked at you as though you were beginning to lose your mind. You don’t really blame them, rain didn’t really have anything to do with gumihos after all.
However, your teacher smiled at you. His eyes crinkled at their sides and his wrinkles from age becoming more prominent as his smile continuously grew larger as he thought about his answer again. “Something my grandparents used to tell me when I was younger,” he began, each student getting left on the edge of their seats as he turned back towards the rainfall, “that when it rained, it meant a gumiho had entered the premise.”
II.
“You don’t actually believe him, do you?” Juyeon asked, holding the borrowed umbrella over your heads. The boy had offered to walk you home in the disastrous, knowing you lived off campus instead of in the dorms. The dorms were a lot closer to the apartment you had rented out, so the two of you had scrambled over to his room first in order to grab an umbrella and begin the trek to your home.
He was only walking you towards the closest bus stop to the campus, not wanting to intrude on your privacy any further than he already was. Juyeon was just your acquaintance from mythology after all, he was just a little too nice to let you go out into the rain and get soaking wet.
“What, about the whole rain and gumiho thing?” You responded, remembering your teacher's statement he had ended the class with. You shrugged after a moment to yourself, “honestly, not really. I mean, come on, gumihos being related to the rain? It doesn’t even make that much sense the more you think about it.”
“I guess you’re right,” he agreed, “but don’t you think it’s a little weird how he seemed to believe it? Whole heartedly too, he ended the whole class over some superstition his grandparents told him!”
“It’s probably an old saying in his family or something,” you ultimately decide, nodding your head to yourself as you come to a conclusion. “Lots of people have things like heirlooms and stories that get passed down from generation to generation, maybe that’s what that was. Maybe his family is really big on nine tailed foxes and rain.”
He shook his head in disagreement, stopping in place and nearly causing you to get soaked by the downpour. “I don’t think so, why would they pass down a saying like that when gumihos aren’t real?”
“How do you know that they aren’t real?” You challenged him.
“Because if they were real, then we wouldn’t be learning about it in a mythology class and calling it folklore,” Juyeon stretched his arm out so that the umbrella was covering the both of you as he kept talking, “Humans are like… cockroaches. We force ourselves into the lives of other beings, I think we would have done something about gumihos by now don’t you think?”
You grinned at him as you rocked back and forth on your feet absentmindedly, nugging his shoulder soft as you teased, “wow, I know the lesson wasn’t long today but did you already forget that we were taught? Once a fox has lived for a thousand years, it becomes a gumiho and can shapeshift! How will you know your face to face with a fearsome nine tailed fox when they look exactly like any normal stranger on the street?”
You didn’t even give the boy a chance to speak as you stood in front of him, your back getting pelted with the rain droplets as you continued to jeer, “anyone could be a gumiho. I could be a gumiho, your roommate could be a gumiho, our teacher could be a gumiho, even you could be a gumiho and we’d never know a thing!”
“I think you're forgetting something,” Juyeon countered, pulling out his phone from his pocket and waving it in your face. “Humans have technology, we’ll just develop more technology to find them if we need to.”
“Gosh, you’re no fun,” you pout.
“And your bus stop is right there,” he pointed behind you, taking note of the metal structure built on the side of the road.
You struggle to decide whether or not you want to steal his umbrella as payback for being the way he was but ultimately ditched the idea. “Fine, I’ll see next week then? That is, if you don’t get eaten by a gumiho that is.” You teased.
You watched as annoyance contorted on his face, wanting to find a reason to be mad at you but unable to keep the grin off his face. “I’m not going to be eaten by a gumiho, Y/N. Did we not just have the conversation that they aren’t real?”
“Gumihos seduce men to absorb their energy!” You argued once more. “You’re a physically fit guy whose kept his livers healthy and you’ve got the looks to draw attention to you, you’re the perfect meal for a nine tailed fox to catch!”
“Go home, Y/N,” he urged, pushing you out from under his umbrella. You whined at his audacity and quickly covered your head with your hands in an attempt to shield yourself from the rain. The boy only laughed at your reaction before waving you off, giving you a small farewell as you rushed over towards the bus stop.
When you glanced back to find him again, Juyeon was gone, turned around the corner with his umbrella in tow and forcing you to sit and wait for the bus stop to come if you didn’t want to be soaked by the time you got home.
“Sheesh he could have waited until the bus actually came,” you complained, sitting back on the bench with a somewhat annoyed frown donning your face once again. Juyeon always seemed like he was in a hurry at times, whether he was sneaking around the dorms on your campus or rushing through the hallways to get to his next destination, he always had somewhere to be. There were times where he’d completely ignore your existence in and outside of your mythology class because of his need for action, too busy with his daily life to even spare you a glance.
You wondered where he so urgently needed to go at times, but ultimately knew that was none of your business. The two of you were nothing but classmates, school friends who helped each other out every so often whenever you got the chance. You had no right to dig into Juyeon’s business, so you never tried to cross the line the two of you set up for each other. You don’t really know if you wanted to cross it in the first place.
Besides, he never even said hello to whenever he was in a rush! Why bother trying to discover something where he has to completely ignore your existence to do it? That wasn’t exactly your type of information and gossip you wanted to gather and indulge in.
You sat at the bus stop for around three or four minutes, unwillingly listening to the pitter patter of the rain on the bus stop glass. Like your superstitious instructor, you weren’t very fond of the rain but not for the same reasons. The weather would always ruin plans you had been looking forward to for weeks and the days that came after it always felt humid and musty, you didn’t enjoy the aftermath of rain like other people did.
Don’t even get you started on the days where a thunderstorm would roll over the city, those were the worst days of your life.
You snap out of your daze for a moment, however, completely forgetting your hatred for the raining weather at the sound of barking floating through the air. You tried to ignore it at first, comfortably leaning against the side of the structure and scrolling across your phone to distract yourself, but you couldn’t help it. The more you tried to pretend like the sound didn’t exist the louder it seemed to become, which was a lot seeing as the downpour was a little louder than normal.
Begrudgingly, you stood up out of your seat and shoved your phone deep into your pockets. “Is the universe trying to tell me something today?” You mumbled, covering your head with your hands and stepping out into the rain. You peered across the street where the barking was coming, checking the side of the road for any oncoming cars before rushing to the other side.
The closer you got to the other sidewalk, the louder and more distinct the barking became, resembling more of a young dog than a fully grown one. The barks were more closely related to squeaky toes than anything if you had to be honest; light, annoying, and young. But there was no one else on the street beside you, and your morals were telling you to involve yourself instead of run away.
“Puppy...or puppies?” You called, not exactly having a name to call out for the animals. You don’t even know if they could hear you over the rainfall, but it was worth a shot. If they didn’t come running to you soon you were going to run right back to the bus stop for shelter and go home. You didn’t want to fall ill from standing out in the rain for too long and you didn’t want to miss your bus stop either. “Come here, boy! Or girl…? Whatever you are, come here! I’ll get you some place warm and out of the rain.”
There was no response, which was to be expected. They were animals, not humans, so they couldn’t exactly reply back even if they really wanted to. The barking was still echoing across the area but there was no sign of the animal making all the commotion, not to mention the fact that the rain was beginning to fall harder with each passing second. You might have to give up early if you didn’t want to get caught in a potential thunderstorm, it hurt your heart but you had to take care of yourself as well.
“Ah, I better hurry up before I miss the bus home… walking is going to be a pain if I do,” you mumble to yourself, turning to sprint across the street.
Though you stopped yourself from moving when you heard the sound of bells echoing against your ears, ringing loud and clear within your head as if it was right in front of you. You cautiously look around you for the source of the bells, the jingling rippling out to the rest of the world like a droplet of water falling into a lake. The bells chimed again in your head, yet this time pulling in a certain direction and urging you to continue on that way.
Glancing between the bus stop and the direction you were being pulled toward, you followed the jingling of the bells. Everything in your body was telling you that chasing after the ringing was a bad idea but nevertheless you pushed forward. The dog barking had completely gone silent and the loudest thing in the area was no longer the rain, but the bells in your ears.
You scurried across the sidewalk like a cat, trying your best to stay dry in the unfortunate weather but ultimately failing as you began to feel your clothes stick to your skin. “Ah, there’s no way I’m not going to be sick after this.” You mumbled, turning the corner to peer down an alleyway where the bell chiming was the strongest.
“I’m wet and cold and I’ve been out here for way too— oh my god!” A scream fell out your mouth as you tumbled to the ground petrified by the sight before you. Slumped up against the wall was a boy, barely clinging onto his life as he took slow ragged breaths to keep himself stable. On his arms was the familiar crimson red creeping down his forehead and splattering to the ground, creating a mixture of water and blood pooling underneath him.
Did you just find the end results of a bloody fight? In the middle of the city and close to your college’s campus no less?
“Excuse me, are you alright?” You called out to him, mentally smacking yourself for asking such a question. Clearly the boy wasn’t okay, he was bleeding out in the middle of the rain!
Despite the stupidity of the question, he slowly turned his head toward you. A majority of his face was covered by his hair being plastered against his head thanks to the rain so you couldn’t exactly see if he was looking directly at you, but the mere fact that he was responsive was enough for you.
You hurry over to him as fast as you could, though careful not to slip and fall on the slippery ground, before crouching down next to him. “Can you move at all? It’s not good to sit out here in the rain and waste away, you need to go to a hospital or something—“
“No,” he declined, forcing himself to sit up against the wall and make an attempt to stand up. The boy struggled to himself up right, leaning against the wall for support and the severity of his wounds being put on display. It didn’t look like he got into a fight, per se, more like he had been attacked by an animal. He had large gashes that covered his body and his clothes were tattered and stained with the red hue they leaked down his arm. He needed any sort of medical attention, right away or he might actually bleed out in the middle of the alleyway.
“Can you not see that you’re hurt?” You hissed, grabbing a hold of his wrist and tugging him down to your height. The boy grimaced at your toughness as you rolled up his sleeve, catching sight of an ugly yet fresh scar that needed to be addressed immediately. “You need to go to a hospital, or you’ll die out here in the rain.”
“No,” he challenged you, his face somewhat akin to an animal’s snarl as he tried to snatch his arm away from you. In that instance you heard the soft of the bells that had led you down the alleyway, much louder than they had been before and nearly drowning at the words that the boy had spoken. It sounded like… the ringing was coming directly from him. “I can’t go there, I won’t go there. They won’t be able to help anyway.”
“Are you an idiot?” You couldn’t help but ask, almost scoffing at his persistence to stay away from medically trained professionals. His lips formed into a pout, appalled by the fact that you had the audacity to call him an idiot. “I’m trying to help you man. It’s raining, you’re bleeding out, and I’ve probably missed my ride to go home. Please don't take my kindness for granted and let me help you.”
III.
You laid down in the middle of your bed, staring at your ceiling as you struggled to recall the events from the day before. It’s not like you to forget things easily or anything, in fact you had a rather decent memory when it came to remembering events that had taken place beforehand. You didn’t have a photographic memory, you just had a habit of remembering little details that have happened throughout your day.
But right now? You couldn’t remember a single thing that had happened yesterday.
Most of what you could remember was leaving your mythology early because your teacher had ended the class early. He didn’t like the rain and it had shifted his mood and everyone was grateful for the extra time off. Juyeon had generously offered to walk you to your bus stop with his umbrella so that you could get home without getting rained on and…. that’s where it ends. You can’t recall anything that happened after that. You don’t even remember ever walking into your house the more that you think about it.
“Alright, this is weird,” you declare, forcing yourself to sit up off of the bed. At least you had no classes to attend, you don’t know how you could pay attention to anything you were being taught if you had to deal with your sudden memory loss. “Why can’t I remember anything? Why does it feel like what u forgot was something really important too…?”
Just when you felt as though you were on the verge of pulling your hair out, your phone began to ring. It was a lot louder than you originally set the volume on and was practically screaming at you to pick it up instead of ignoring it like normal. Frustrated, you snatched the device from underneath the sheets and answered the call with a much more aggressive “hello?” than you had meant to start with.
“Y/N, are you okay?” Juyeon’s voice registered through the speaker.
Juyeon. Why was Juyeon calling you right now? The two of you don’t usually call each other unless it was something class related because you weren’t close enough to each other to hold conversations like that. So the mere fact that he had called you out of the blue like this was…. weird to say the least. “Of course,” you replied, giving your voice a lighter tone than when you had answered. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You called me a couple of times yesterday but I didn’t answer because I was busy,” he clarified, giving you a little peek as to what had happened the day before.
You called Juyeon first, why would you do that? You didn’t even call him once, but multiple times given the way he had worded his sentence. You’re not even close to Juyeon, why would you even dare to call him several times yesterday? If you were in trouble you should have just called Kevin like normal! “Are you saying you don’t remember?”
“Yes, actually, I don’t remember anything that happened yesterday.” Maybe you had gone to go get a drink or something before coming home and that’s why your thoughts from yesterday were blurry. But you’re not the type of person to drink that much, at least not alone you wouldn’t. “Listen, Juyeon, I’m sorry about all of this. I didn’t mean to call you, I was just… out of it or something. I don’t know I just can’t remember right now.”
“It’s fine, Y/N, don’t worry I’m just glad you’re alright. I got worried something might have happened to you but hearing you now makes me relieved.” You smiled at his words, letting his caring words for you twirl around in your head like ribbons. Juyeon was just too nice to you, honestly, but he was probably like this with everyone he knew. It made sense if he was, he was kind to almost everyone he met.
Before you could answer, the jingling of bells echoing through your ears, distracting you from any other words that might have come out of the boy’s mouth. You glanced around the room for shunting that could have made the noise, but you don't exactly have anything that could chime like the whimsical clicking of a wind chime. “Do you hear that?” You asked him, cutting off the boy mid sentence as you stood up.
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” he answered, “what am I supposed to be hearing? All I hear is you.”
In a flash all of the memories from the day before flooding back to you. The barking, the bell ringing, and the injured boy who refused to go to the hospital to treat his wounds. It all came back to you now, but why had it gone away in the first place. “I’ll… I’ll call you back, Juyeon.”
“Y/N? Y/N, what's wrong? Is something—“ you hung up before he could finish his sentence, cautiously following the ever growing sounds of the bells you had heard earlier. The closer you got to your door, the louder the chiming became, probably signifying the fact that you were going in the right direction.The last time you had followed the bells, they led you straight to the wounded boy. So if your hunch was right, it was most likely leading you straight back to him.
You carefully opened the door to your room, peering through the crack in the door frame to see what was going on. It was eerily silent and for the most the entirety of your apartment showed no signs of inhabiting a second person. “That’s odd…,” you noted, fully stepping out of your room to look around the room for the boy from yesterday. It seemed as though he hadn’t even lived in your house for an hour. “I don’t think he ever left… and I still can hear those bells so he can’t be far.”
Goosebumps ran down your spine as a cold wind blew through your living room. Something was off, you’ve never felt uneasy in your own home before. You had picked this apartment to live in because it felt comfortable and warm like home, but the only thing you were getting from it now was the feeling of being watched. As if a pair of eyes were carefully taking in your every move to determine how you’d react next.
“I know, you’re here,” you stated, rolling your eyes as you began to turn around. “You couldn’t have left in the middle of the night, you were bleeding out and collapsed as soon as you—“
You stopped mid sentence when you stopped the boy in the hallway to your bathroom, frazzled and confused by his surroundings yet still keeping a close eye on you. Now that he wasn’t soaking wet and bleeding (thanks to your amateur bandaging skills) you couldn’t help but notice how much more innocent without the dramatic effect of everything that had happened yesterday. “You really are still here, nice to see you didn’t die while I was asleep.”
“Where am I?” He demanded, not as aggressive as he was the day before but still in a rather rude tone you weren’t expecting from him. “How did I get here and… who are you?”
You slumped onto the small couch of your living room, glancing around the room for a moment before turning back to him with a cheeky smile on your face. “Heaven. You died in your sleep and now you’re in heaven. In the goddess that's going to accompany you through the afterlife.”
“Lies, you just said I didn’t die while I was sleeping,” he quickly pointed out, catching your lie as soon as it came out your mouth.
“Woah, despite all those injuries and passing out in the way here you still have a working brain, that’s good to know,” you tease him, watching as the boy rolled his eyes at your tiny jabs. “I’m Y/N but i guess you can just call me your savior really. Oh, and this is my house. You slept on the couch last night and I appreciate the fact that there is no blood on my cushions. Thanks.”
He nodded his head in understanding, though it seemed like the movements weren't actually correlating to what his mind was thinking. “Wait, you’re my… savior? No that doesn’t make any sense.”
“Why not?” You questioned, “I saw you bleeding out in an alleyway yesterday and I tried to take you to hospital but you kept refusing to go, so I just… took you home. I address your wounds and everything and just hoped that when I woke up there wouldn’t be a corpse in my living room. Luckily, as we see now, there isn’t. I saved your life.”
“No!” He yelled, rolling up his tattered clothes to find messily wrapped bandages all over his body. “Why would you do that?”
“Because you were dying?” You blurted, confused to the boy’s sudden panic. “What would you rather have bled out in public for all to see?”
“Yes, actually, that would have been the better option of the two.” How ungrateful was this boy? You saved his life and all he has to say is that he wished you didn’t? Maybe you should have strayed away from your morals for a second because all that had gotten you so far was a boy with no manners. “I don’t think you realize what you’ve done.”
“I have realized what I’ve done,” you responded, “I’ve saved your life because I’m a good person. Why are we arguing about this, there are no downsides to getting your lives saved. Wait, are you embarrassed because you got attacked by some feral cat and nearly died? Not gonna lie, I’d be embarrassed about something like that too.”
“I wasn’t… attacked by a cat,” he explained, a scoff threatening to spill out of his mouth at your bizarre accusation. “I don’t think a cat could make those types of scars.”
“If it wasn’t a cat…” you began, thinking aloud as you tried to member the wounds that covered the boy’s body. The more you pictured them in your head. The more you realize those weren’t… cat scars. They still seemed as though they were animal scars but a cat didn’t make that big a gash on a person’s body. You should have known, you’ve gone to cat cafes enough to have learned the hard way. “Then what…?”
“Gumihos,” the boy replied, tearing off the bandages you had wrapped around him the night before. You winced as you watched your handwork tumble to the ground, but were more concerned over the fact that the gashes on his arm were healed almost completely overnight. “I was attacked by gumihos.”
“Nine tailed foxes?” You blurted, more for yourself than the boy. Seeing you bewilderment made a smile begin to etch across his lips, childish yet mischievous as you tried to break down what you had learned in your head. “But… those are just folklore, they aren’t real. If they were, one would have been caught by humans at this point.
“Why? Don’t you know that a gumiho can shapeshift? They live among humans as if they were any other mortal in order to get what they want in life,” the boy explained, reminding you of the words you had thrown at Juyeon for making the same excuse. “You really think that they’d let a human catch sight of their existence and get away with it?”
“Okay then answer me this,” you ask, sitting up attentive to the stranger you had brought into your home. “If gumihos are real… then why did one attack you and leave you out to die? Don’t they usually kill humans for their livers and hearts? You should have been devoured by now.”
A hearty laugh left the boy’s mouth, much stronger and louder than the small giggle from earlier. His smile couldn’t stop growing on his face as he blinked his eyes at you, the dark browns of his iris swapping out to a bold amber yellow color. His pupils slowly began to dilate into the familiar small slits of a cat’s as your own eyes widened in pure fright. The boy you had saved had now become your greatest mistake. “What makes you think I’m human?”
IV.
“Juyeon!” You hissed at the boy, urging him to come to you once you had finally caught sight of him. He was walking with a group of his friends, people who hadn’t mingled with and didn’t know whether or not you wanted to in the first place. When the boy had turned his head to you, the entirety of his friend group did as well, displaying their bright and eager smiles as they waved their hands in greeting. Awkwardly you greeted them back, unsure of what to do next as they also whispered and muttered to themselves as they let Juyeon break from their group.
Hopefully it was something nice and not anything that could hurt your feelings. They were still grinning and jeering with each other despite whatever comments they were making, so maybe it was a conversation of their approval. Or at least… you hoped it was, you couldn’t really tell the difference. You acted like you had a tough shell but in reality you were way too soft when it came to a stranger’s perspective of you.
“What’s up Y/N?” He greeted, a fond smile plastered across his face as he stood in front of you with his hands shoved in his pockets. “It’s a rare sight to see you interact with me when we don’t have a class together. It must be serious.”
“Well…” you trailed off, unsure of how to explain to him. “I guess it’s serious? But nothing too serious… I need some advice really, that’s all.”
“Advise?” Juyeon questioned, intrigued by the topic you had brought him. “Wow… of all the people could have chosen, you need my advice! I can’t help but say I’m honored. But what happened to your other friend… Kevin was his name, right? He would come to walk you home after class sometimes, why aren’t you asking him?”
You grimace at the thought of the boy before quickly waving the thought away. “Kevin will just think I’m crazy and make fun of me. Plus, I think you’re probably most equipped to help me out here since we take mythology together and all.”
“Ah… still keeping this as a school oriented friendship right?” He teased, getting a small laugh to leave your mouth. “Alright, what is it? What mythological help do you need this time? I’m all ears.”
You hesitated for a moment, unsure on how to word your sentences without sounding insane. The whole reason you had gone to Juyeon instead of Chanhee was because he would understand you a little better than your friend could. “Gumihos… you know how we’re learning about them currently, right? Is there something that people should know about them in order to protect themselves from one?”
Juyeon raised a brow at your question, staying silent as he thought to himself. “Gumihos? I thought you didn’t want to learn about gumihos because it was pop culture and everyone knows about them?”
“Well, what can I say!” You exclaimed, hoping to cover up your nervousness as much as possible. “I decided to take up a personal essay of sorts on those nine tailed foxes. I got intrigued a few days ago about them and I wanted to get as much information as I could about them, but we don’t go back to our mythology class until I… really can’t wait to get started.”
In reality, you actually had that gumiho boy holed up in your apartment still. In fear of the boy actually attempting to devour your liver you had locked him up in your bathroom and placed a talisman on the door so that he couldn’t escape. You had absolutely no clue on how to deal with a gumiho and you had only recently started your lesson on the fox spirits a few days ago. So needless to say, you wanted to be prepared for whatever might come next while housing him.
“That’s fair,” Juyeon agreed, taking your lie like candy and smiling brightly back at you. “I mean, the concept of nine tailed foxes are pretty cool, so I can’t blame you for looking into them a little further than everyone else.”
“So?” You asked, eagerly awaiting his answer, “Do you have any information I should know?”
“Well… there's this one thing I’ve been told before by my grandparents,” he explained, trying his best to recall past memories that had no use up until now. “Yeah, they would use old myths as stories to tell me before bed when I was a kid. They told me that no matter what fork a gumiho comes in, never let them kiss you.”
“Kiss?” You blurted out, shocked that that was the one thing he decided to share. “What’s kissing got to do with fox spirits?”
“It’s how they take your energy,” Juyeon told you, putting his pointer fingers together as if mimicking a kiss between two people. “When a gumiho kisses you, they absorb your energy. The more energy they absorb the weaker you become until you eventually die! Kinda scary, right? Not only do they feed off of human livers, but our mere life essence.”
“What type of bedtime story is that,” you mumbled, skeptically glancing over Juyeon. If that was the type of stories he was being told as a child, how was he not a little messed up in the head? If you were him, you would be absolutely terrified of everything even approaching you. Who knew when someone would randomly come up and kiss you? Your first and last kiss would be from a fox trying to steal your life away!
“I was very easy to tease as a child,” he shrugged, his smile turning sheepish as he softly scratched the back of his neck. “My grandparents loved telling me stories like that because I was an emotional little kid, ease to scare and quick to try and stuff like that.”
“That makes a little more sense,” you nodded, “no sane person would tell that as a bedtime story, it’s always got to be told to a child that’s easily scared.”
“Yeah, yeah, say what you want. If they hadn’t told them those stories of gumihos, I probably wouldn’t be taking mythology now,” Juyeon explained, glancing back toward the direction your shared class was. “And if I didn’t take mythology, you wouldn’t have any friends in that class.”
You shrug in response, he was right. If Juyeon had decided that he didn’t want to take the mythology course you probably wouldn’t have ever met him in the first place. So that was one good thing that had come out of his grandparents scaring him into the folklore of nine tailed foxes. “If you don’t mind me asking by the way,” the boy continued, switching topics while he still had your attention. “Whatever happened that day? You said you’d call me back but you never did. I can’t lie, I was a little worried for you again.”
“Ah, that,” you stall, struggling to make up a lie off the time of your head. You felt bad for lying to Juyeon more than you already were, you heard what he said! He’s worried about you and you didn’t want to put any more of load onto his back with your supernatural problems. “Well, I think I’ve got spirits in my house. I’ve been hearing weird noises sometimes and I thought you could hear it too, that’s why I asked.”
“Funny how things like this happen to a mythology student, huh? I wonder what kind of spirit has skipped their way into your house then.” Juyeon laughed, shaking his head at the ironic situation you had got yourself in, “well if you ever find yourself needing a home away from home, my dorm room is always open? We’d have to clean up a little bit before you arrive and sneak you in but anything to get away from spirits, right?”
#kpop imagines#kpop#kpop au#kpop scenarios#the boyz x reader#the boyz sunwoo#sunwoo x reader#kim sunwoo#sunwoo imagines#tbz sunwoo#sunwoo au#tbz au#juyeon x reader#lee juyeon#juyeon imagines#the boyz juyeon#juyeon au
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TGF Thoughts: 5x06- And the two partners had a fight...
I’ve been waiting for this episode for nearly a decade, and I didn’t even realize it. More under the cut.
(This is very long! Please fight me on stuff and disagree because I just wrote all these words about this episode and I STILL want to talk about it more, it was that interesting!)
This is the second episode in a row to start off with a TikTok video. 5x02 and 5x03 both ended with elevators. Is there some sort of pattern they’re going for here?
This case—which is, it’s important to note, in Wackner’s court—is about TikTok content creators and copyright laws. Probably not enough material for a full case, but definitely an interesting theme to explore.
Marissa doesn’t have her laptop volume off (which I suppose makes sense; she was just playing the TikTok videos) and a notification sounds. She shuts the laptop.
Wackner rules that the profits made from the TikTok dance must be split evenly between the guy who stole the dance for his video game and the creator. The thief does not like this, removes his moose costume (oh, yeah, did I mention they’re in costumes again?), and starts shouting that he’s going to sue and then moons the whole court. Okay!
He follows through on his threat, and next thing we know, Liz, Cord, Wackner, and Marissa are meeting to discuss strategy.
Liz’s computer makes the same noise Marissa’s did; she punches some keys.
Liz points out that Wackner’s biggest problem is that real judges are not going to like Wackner playacting as a judge. “I’m not playing a judge. I am a judge,” Wackner says. Liz notes that Wackner’s court lacks any way of forcing people to comply with his rulings, but real court can shut him down.
I guess whatever keys Liz punched did not silence the annoying notification sound.
She asks Wackner to try not to become the focus of the court case, since that’s how they’ll lose. “This is why I started a court,” Wackner says after Liz instructs him to only answer yes or no and to wear a suit.
Liz asks Marissa to keep Wackner in line. She says she’ll try.
Now we are at the Black Lawyers Association, where there’s a panel with leaders from Chicago’s four top black law firms. For reasons passing understanding, DIANE is on this panel. This makes absolutely no sense (I mean, unless only white people were involved in this decision, and even then!) and I’ll only excuse it because they mention later that it makes no sense for Diane to have been on this panel.
I wonder why everyone else’s firm gets named but not Diane’s.
Diane also gets the first question, which is, pointedly, about opportunities for black lawyers. Her phone starts making the annoying notification sound. Ever heard of silent mode??
The annoying sound happens every five seconds at the RL offices. According to David Lee, it happens twenty times an hour, but it seems like more than that! He, for some reason, goes to Carmen to ask how to stop the sound. He also wants to know what it is. Carmen explains that it is “Dawnk” which is a new messaging system within the company.
On Dawnk, you can talk about anything you want and be anonymous. Who approved this?! In one frame, I can see there’s someone complaining about someone being promoted too fast because of “the future is female bs.” In another, someone is upset that they are anonymous and wants to use their real name (only Jay, who is otherwise absent from this episode, seems to have figured out how to turn this anon mode off).
Sorry, before I can get on board with this plot, I just need to note for the record how phenomenally stupid the idea of using anonymous messaging software within a company is. This was obviously not going to end well! It’s like workplace YikYak... (remember YikYak?!)
David Lee hates the idea of a messaging software; Carmen says the associates prefer this.
Jay is being very nice in the chat and defends the person who was promoted “too fast”.
“Who’s ‘Anonymous Crab’?” David Lee asks. Well, I think the fact they are “anonymous” should be a bit of a hint there, David.
Anonymous Crab asks, “How the hell did this happen??! How did Diane end up at a Black Conference speaking for our firm?” Good question, Anonymous Crab.
Anon Crab also shares a video and David Lee doesn’t understand how to press play. Carmen plays it for him. Diane looks really awful on the panel. No shit! David Lee seems to enjoy Diane looking bad, even though he should be able to connect the dots between Diane looking bad and potential for bad things to come for the firm...
Not only does Diane get quizzed about why she’s running a firm that is still insisting on calling itself a black firm, she also gets questions about her insurrectionist husband. “He was completely cleared of those charges,” Diane notes. Oh, hey!!!!! Remember how last week I said I’d be more surprised if that was the end of the FBI nonsense than if it continued? I am surprised!! And relieved. Mostly relieved. Dealing with the consequences of that high profile, relationship-straining ordeal is so much more interesting to me than any FBI machinations.
Next Diane is asked if Kurt just took a job to revitalize the NRA. She hasn’t heard of this yet. I’m glad she’s getting grilled on this stuff... it is about time.
There’s a hint that Carmen will be representing Mr. Rapey next week. I assume that’s why there’s a line where David checks in with Carmen on Mr. Rapey’s case?
Anon Platypus says, “I heard she didn’t even have seniority. She just jumped past other black partners to become our name partner. It’s crazy!!!” Anon Platypus is correct—technically. Diane was a name partner at one of Chicago’s top firms before joining RL, so while she skipped the line... that doesn’t seem to me like the PRIMARY issue in bringing her on. The primary issue is that bringing on someone that senior from outside the company is more similar to a merger than a promotion, and Diane’s partnership meant changes for the firm.
Other anonymous animals also don’t like Diane. One calls her clueless; another says that “Liz needs to do something about this.” Someone responds to that, “Liz will never do it on her own,” which is an interesting sentiment I want to come back to in a little bit.
“What is Black Twitter?” David Lee asks Liz out of the blue. “People on Twitter who are black and talk to each other,” Liz responds. David Lee asks how he can find it. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” Liz jokes. And to think Jay said Liz wasn’t funny!
The Dawnk conversation shifts and now everyone’s ragging on Julius for representing Kurt and just generally being a Trump voter. There’s a lot of heated and racial language I’m not going to type here, enough to make Julius spit out his coffee and storm down to the associate floor.
He goes to Devin, who I’m not sure if we’ve seen before but is high ranking enough to have Lucca’s old office, to get information on the anonymous posts.
Anonymous Bison says, “Unpopular opinion: I blame Adrian.” Hey, Anon Bison, let’s be friends! I am with you. Adrian is the one who brought Diane on, who encouraged them to lean into Julius’s Trump connections, and who pushed the firm to pursue profit over everything else. Diane and Julius aren’t blameless (though I don’t actually think defending Kurt is a bad thing) but if there’s someone who actively strategized to make RL what it is today? Adrian all the way.
In what world does noting that Julius is pissed in an anonymous message do ANYTHING to stop people who are pissed at him? If they were that concerned about him being pissed they wouldn’t have said anything in the first place.
Liz and opposing counsel talk over each other in court until the judge makes them stop. I think we’ve seen both the judge and opposing counsel this season, making me wonder if there’s a bit of a COVID bubble situation going on here with the guest stars.
Judge Farley jokes about “contempt cards” that go up in value and Wackner, of course, is all, “Wow, I really love that.”
Liz, whose entire strategy was to not let on that anyone calls Wackner a judge, refers to Wackner as “Judge Wackner.” Come on, Liz! (I buy that she’d slip up—there's no one in the world I wouldn’t believe slipping up—but ugh!)
How did the opposition not realize that they could make this about Wackner’s “crazy court” by referring to him as Judge Wackner? You’d think they’d be all over that.
Judge Farley looks SO unhappy that Wackner would refer to himself as a judge; it’s phenomenal.
Now Marissa stumbles over stuff because she’s, for some reason, speaking in court. I bought Liz’s dumb moment more.
The plaintiff’s strategy is to make it look like Wackner is of unsound mind, and they’ve got video evidence. Remember how Del, Cord, and Wackner all chatted in the RL elevator? Well, turns out that lead to a reality show about Wackner for Del’s streaming service. Sounds about right.
I don’t really think Wackner cares about attention or anyone else’s motivations... I think he just likes the idea of budget and an audience and a platform.
Liz meets Del for a romantic dinner and asks him when he was going to tell her about Wackner’s show. Del doesn’t understand why she’s upset. He doesn’t get why he would’ve needed her permission to go into business with Wackner. (I don’t think he’s wrong from a business POV, but from a relationship POV, he totally should’ve let her know!)
Liz says he should’ve asked because they’re using it against her in court. “That is unfortunate, baby, but this streaming show could be really good for Wackner. It’ll draw attention to his court. And... as I say that...that sounds... okay, look I’m sorry,” Del realizes. I like that he sees that Liz has a point. He goes on to note that he would be totally open to Liz trying to go into business with any of his acquaintances, and I think he genuinely means it.
Del notes that this is what “power couples” do. Oh? So they’re an official couple? Don’t power couples also associate in public and not hide their relationship from their colleagues?
This is the place where I note, yet again, that it is always going to be more interesting to see a relationship that feels realistic than to see a relationship that feels like it takes place in a vacuum.
Liz doesn’t want Wackner becoming popular. Del argues someone else would’ve made the show if he didn’t, and that “disrupters gotta disrupt.” Oh God.
Are we going to remember that Liz has a child at any point this season?
Diane is reading the Dawnk discussion at home. It’s still lively even after work hours. The associates appear to be discussing the vaccine before someone changes the topic to “the Diane situation.”
One associate notes that the partners probably aren’t happy about Diane either and just have to vote her out. Kurt arrives home as Diane reads this, reacts to the loud music Diane has playing, the open alcohol, and her general demeanor and asks if they’re getting drunk. “Are we getting a job with the NRA?” she counters.
Turns out it’s not entirely untrue about Kurt and the NRA. They want him for a new role. It would pay $167,000. I can’t decide if I think that’s a lot (objectively that’s a high salary) or not very much at all (isn’t Kurt the top of his field?)
Kurt notes he doesn’t have a job so he’s considering it. “Diane, our politics are very different,” he starts. “I know,” Diane says. “I’m, lately, struck by just how different they are.”
“I would just like one week when I don’t have to defend you,” Diane says in frustration. Kurt doesn’t even know what that means at the current moment.
“You’ll tell me when they offer you the job?” Diane asks. “They may not offer it,” Kurt says. “No, they will,” Diane says, because she knows that it’s basically a done deal already.
In the middle of the night, Diane turns to Kurt and tries to ask him a question. That wakes him up. She asks who he voted for in 2020 and he doesn’t answer. Uh oh.
Dreaming now, Diane sits up and asks, “Hello? What do I do?” More on that later...
The HR nightmare known as Dawnk is still going wild the next day at the office. (Seriously, with HR that strict, the anon feature would’ve been disabled the second the first semi-controversial comment was posted.) Everyone’s obsessed.
The partners, minus Diane, all gather in Liz’s office to discuss Dawnk (and the topics of conversation on Dawnk). Madeline says they should ignore it. I say they should make STR Laurie shut it down and be the bad guy. It is nonsensical that this workplace would continue to allow Dawnk to continue! In addition to being an HR nightmare, it’s also a drain on productivity if everyone’s constantly glued to it, and I imagine STR Laurie cares about profit more than anything else.
But like I really don’t get why Madeline says they can’t censor their associates. Of course they can shut down the app if they want to! Someone put the app there in the first place, no? I do understand not wanting to look like you’re violating free speech (even though taking away anonymous commenting in the workplace would not be a violation of free speech) but I highly doubt it would be only the partners complaining. Tina, whose promotion was called into question, would be complaining too. Anyone trying to get work done, or anyone who didn’t like the toxic culture, or anyone who was uncomfortable with a joke made, would be complaining. There are more than enough reasons it would be perfectly acceptable to take the anon commenting away.
Now the partners are fighting about Kurt’s case too. “Diane is not responsible for her husband,” Liz says when Madeline says that Diane should’ve known better than to get involved. Um, Liz, Madeline is right. Diane isn’t responsible for Kurt’s actions but she’s sure as hell responsible for volunteering to represent him.
“In the real world of this firm, Diane’s billable hours speak for themselves,” Liz notes when a partner tries to call Diane’s unsavory associations into question.
“The rest of us put in the hours too, for the record,” notes another partner. I’m sure... but do you put in DIANE’S hours and have DIANE’S client list? My guess is no. If Diane weren’t the biggest earner at the firm we wouldn’t be having this debate. She’d just be gone. She’d never have been at the firm to begin with.
“Liz, when I joined this firm, it was because of your father’s legacy. It was about Black civil rights, activism, justice. That’s what people talked about in meetings. Now, people talk about billable hours, million-dollar clients, corporate payouts. Now, I know it’s not your fault. That was Boseman’s vision and we were trying to survive the Trump years by bringing in white lawyers, but those days are gone. They’re done with. And I miss being a strong black firm,” Madeline says. Everyone but Liz (and probably Julius) seems to agree with that.
This is one of many interesting facets of this issue. When Madeline argues against Diane, she’s not just arguing that she wants a black person running the firm for optics. She’s not saying that Diane-but-black would be an acceptable choice. She is saying she wants RL to be the firm it was at the very very start of the show—a firm committed to social justice, not maximizing revenue. A firm that didn’t just accept every client that came their way because they love profit. A firm that stood for something. So my question is: Does Liz want that firm?
Liz is hard to read throughout this whole plot, and I think that may be intentional. Liz isn’t a manager by training—she was an AUSA who suddenly became a name partner at a firm (if you want to talk about seniority and skipping the line, Liz is a way better example than Diane—you can even through some nepotism, twice over, in there). She doesn’t seem to have a clear goal for her firm other than maintaining the status quo and keeping power. Liz not taking a stronger stance from the start (either accepting that they are no longer going to be a social justice-oriented firm or pushing to get them back to that place) allows these kinds of questions to fester. It’s my hope that this becomes text instead of subtext pretty soon, ‘cause this is the kind of thing that if it’s subtext for too long will start to feel like bad writing/Liz being conveniently clueless. It’s way more interesting if Liz is just not yet good at being a manager... because she is learning on the job.
Anyway. I think the ideal solution here is probably that Diane and Liz continue to run RL: A STR Laurie Company (the fact they’re owned by corporate overlords kind of makes any decision about RL’s mission moot) since Diane wants to do that and Liz seems to be content where she is. Madeline and the other partners, instead of trying to force STRL to let them pursue the cases they want, can accept pay cuts and go start their own firm. Maybe they can even team up with Barbara Kolstad!
None of that’s to say that the dilemma here is easily solvable, nor is it to say that Diane shouldn’t consider stepping down. I’ll say more on that later. My point here is just that this issue is much deeper than just if Diane is on the letterhead or not. As long as they’re owned by STR Laurie and have clients like Rivi, Diane stepping aside would just be a band-aid.
(And that, I think, is intentional... they’ve been building the “why are we even representing x?” tension pretty consistently this season, so I imagine it’s on the writers’ minds.)
Diane stumbles across the secret partner’s meeting and knows something’s up.
“You gotta handle this, Liz. You cannot have a white partner leading a black firm. We’ll lose clients with that kind of hypocrisy” Madeline insists after Diane heads back to her office. I’ve already said it, but just to say it in a less rambly way: Madeline is right, but she’s right IF AND ONLY IF the goal is to be a black firm. So, Liz, is it?
(They’ll lose clients, sure, but which ones? They’ll lose the clients Madeline wants while Diane continues to keep bringing in business and Rivi and Cord and Wolfe-Colman and their elk* stay put.)
*I know this is not the correct word; see 6x17 of TGW
David Lee has also noticed the meeting in Liz’s office and thinks this may be the “beginning of the end.” Diane glares at him and he says he was just joking.
Diane schedules a meeting with Liz. Liz’s assistant doesn’t know Diane by voice, adding to her frustration.
Credits! We are 22 minutes in! This might be a record if 5x01 hadn’t saved the credits til the very end!
I’ve already written more than I did last week by a couple hundred words.
Two interesting things about the credits. First, this episode was written by Aurin Squire. Forgive me if I’ve mentioned this in a prior recap (I know I thought about it but can’t remember if I deleted), but I think Aurin Squire and Davita Scarlett are key to why TGF and Evil are both always so good. They’re the two writers other than the Kings who are in both the TGF and Evil rooms, and they both REALLY seem to be on the same wavelength as the Kings. I imagine that having four people who are in both rooms helps with managing both at basically the same time.
(This isn’t where I wanted to go with this bullet point, but I may as well shout out how great Evil is this season, too! It also just aired an episode by Aurin Squire about the lead white female character realizing her privilege!)
Second, this episode was directed by Brooke Kennedy. I didn’t know that going in, but seconds before the director credit popped up, I was thinking to myself, “this episode feels like it’s going to be a very important one. I bet Brooke directed it.” I was very pleased to see her name appear.
(For anyone who doesn’t know, Brooke is an EP who’s been involved in nearly every episode of both Wife and Fight and she tends to direct important episodes that require a lot of familiarity with the characters. She directed 5x15 of The Good Wife and she’s done a bunch of the premieres and finales that Robert King hasn’t claimed for himself.)
Diane and Liz meet in a bar to catch up. Diane’s still staring at Dawnk. Liz takes her phone and silences the notifications. “Who thought that sound was pleasing?” Diane complains. “All day in court today,” Liz commiserates. Carmen had to teach her how to silence the notifications. Liz, you’re using an iPhone, there is a very easy to use switch that silences your phone, like you would need to for court. I know you know this.
(I think Diane, despite her complaining about the sound, is captivated by Dawnk.)
Liz orders soda water instead of a drink. I assume that’s intentional, perhaps because she knows this isn’t going to be an easy conversation or a long night of drinking? She has wine in an earlier scene.
I love that Liz and Diane chat about Dawnk even though there’s no real plot reason for them to spend this much time discussing it. Little moments like this make me believe Liz and Diane are actually colleagues who get along well and make management decisions together.
Diane asks if Liz thinks Dawnk actually increases productivity. Liz laughs—she does not. But she knows the associates would “riot” if they got rid of it. She’s right. I still think they can get rid of it without too much blowback. But at least they’re acknowledging this.
“What do the partners think?” Diane asks, very intentionally shifting the subject. You can hear it in Christine’s voice and see it in her body language—Diane is looking for an opportunity to talk about what she wants to talk about.
“God, Madeline can’t even open it. She’s lost her password three times. She finally just gave up,” Liz says. This is concerning! Madeline should know how to open an app! Probably not unrealistic, though. When you’re that senior, you probably don’t need to know how to use a messaging app. And messaging apps can be confusing sometimes. Like, I still don’t understand how to use Discord.
The captions have a line I can’t hear in this scene—Liz (I presume?) saying “You know, ‘cause it’s Madeline.” This makes it sound like Madeline is a little less than competent, no?
“Thanks for sitting down with me, Liz,” Diane says in a quite serious tone. “Of course. So, you’re wondering about the meeting today?” Liz immediately understands. “I am.” “Yeah. Uh, it was about Julius. He’s being harassed on Dawnk,” Liz explains.
“Okay, and I couldn’t be a part of that?” Diane wants to know. “He’s being harassed because he’s defending your husband,” Liz explains. Diane doesn’t seem surprised (perhaps because she, too, would have read these messages?). “Well, that’s unfortunate. We’ve represented people far worse than Kurt, who, by the way, was found innocent,” Diane argues like they’re having a very different conversation. It’s one thing to represent rapists and murderers and drug lords—and I’d argue that the same people pissed about Kurt are also pissed about them!-- and another for your leadership to be married to/close friends with someone who you believe participated in the events of 1/6.
“I’m not saying it wasn’t. But, January 6th. I mean, we watched the Confederate flag make its way into the Capitol building. You know, those people that Kurt didn’t want to turn over to the FBI, those people. They don’t even want us alive,” Liz says better than I ever could. I think it’s important that Liz mentions a POV that likely wouldn’t have ever crossed Diane’s mind here. This is a small glimpse of why it could be so important to have black leadership at a black firm. Would Diane be thinking about the implications of having the Confederate flag in the Capitol? Probably not in the same way that Liz instantly does.
“Well, not all of them,” Diane Lockhart, who is suddenly an idiot, says. Liz looks at her drink and grimaces, and Diane realizes she’s said something wrong. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m certainly not defending those people. They’re all despicable traitors.”
“And now, that’s what people are saying about Julius,” Liz explains. “And me?” Diane asks, though she already knows the answer. Liz doesn’t want to answer that. Before she can say anything, Diane asks if she’s being pushed out.
“No. Not pushed out. You’re a name partner. You can’t be pushed out,” Liz clarifies. Diane knows there’s a but. “The partners just think you should do the right thing,” Liz adds.
“And step aside?” Diane asks. “No. Stay in the firm. Stay as an equity partner, just step back from your managerial role,” Liz says. Diane pauses. “Liz, I... I pull in the big clients. I... I get the billable hours. But still, ‘maybe you should step aside.’ Weren’t we going to form a firm led by women?” Diane argues. Oh, wow, I have so much to say.
First, I completely understand why Diane doesn’t want to give up her title or her power. She's Diane Lockhart! She’s been one of the best in her field for decades. She’s not wrong about the clients and billable hours. It’s just that every time Diane decides to be at this firm, making arguments about how she should retain her role in power, she’s saying that she values her own career/appearance more than the values she claims to care about. And every time she refuses to take a back seat or threatens to walk rather than sacrifice, she’s saying she’ll only through her weight behind her colleagues and their mission if she gets credit for it. To be clear, I don’t think it would be the shittiest decision in the world if Diane decided to walk, to take her clients to a new firm and to let RL become the firm Madeline and the rest envision. It’s asking a lot of her to give up that power and prestige. The interesting part of this dilemma is, to me, that Diane claims to value working for RL and to be active in the fight against racism... but the second she’s forced to choose between that fight and her own power, we all know what Diane is going to choose. There was never really any doubt. Diane doesn’t have to be on the forefront of this fight if she doesn’t want to... but she can’t claim to be invested in the fight if she isn’t willing to sacrifice, at all.
Second, LMAO at this firm led by women idea. Every time Diane talks about her firm led by women idea it sounds sillier! Not because a firm led by women is silly, but because Diane has a habit of saying this like it is a shared goal and each time she references it, it sounds less and less intersectional. For example, when she says it here, she’s essentially saying a firm led by women only has meaning if one of those women is a white woman (specifically a white woman named Diane Lockhart). Who’s to say that Madeline wouldn’t be made partner in Diane’s absence? Or Barbara (haha) or someone else we haven’t met? There is a very real possibility that Liz and another woman could run the firm and Diane would still be unhappy about it. Diane doesn’t ask Liz for a commitment that if she does step aside, her replacement would be female (idk if it’s legal to make this commitment but you get my point). Diane acts like asking her to step aside is already a betrayal of the female led firm.
“And I hope that it will be,” Liz says, basically hinting to Diane that there are women in the world besides her.
“But black women?” Diane says, agitatedly. “Diane, I... am not voting against you. I promised you that I wouldn’t. But there is growing anger here. They want to address it at the next partners' meeting. So just think about it,” Liz responds.
I think Liz is totally fair and forthcoming in this scene and strikes pretty much the right tone for this initial conversation. She gives Diane a choice and is honest with her.
“You’re a good person,” Liz adds. Diane does a double-take, understanding that Liz is actually telling her “You are a good person, so you know that you absolutely need to step aside.”
“No, I’m not!” Diane responds. As I said: Diane already knows what she is going to do. She needs to do mental gymnastics to excuse her actions, but her mind was made up before the question was even raised. (She did warn Liz in 5x01 she was going to fight any attempt to push her out.)
“Yes, you are,” Liz says again. She may as well be saying, “No, don’t try this. Everyone will think you’re in the wrong if you push this.”
Later, at home, Diane is doing some stretches on the floor and groaning. I don’t know if this scene is meant to show her age, but it does remind me that Diane is nearly 70 and started off this show by planning to retire. Retirement doesn’t seem to be an option for her here. (That’s fine by me; she is a workaholic whose career is her life.)
Kurt asks Diane what she wants to do. She says she wants to keep her name on the letterhead and “keep what I fought for.” Heh, I was just re-reading something I wrote about Cary a while ago and I’d pointed out that when Alicia and Cary discuss merging with what’s left of LG, Cary is also concerned about his name on the letterhead because even though he wants to change the world, he also cares about having power. It’s almost like Diane and Cary are really similar characters! (They are! That’s why the Diane/Cary moment in Hitting the Fan is so good!)
Diane calls her position as name partner a fight against “gender and then age discrimination.” She isn’t wrong, especially when you consider how meaningful it likely was when she and Stern went into business together. It’s very easy for me to forget that when Diane has such an attachment to fighting for white women’s rights, it’s not just because she’s out of touch and selfish: it’s because that was something she personally had to fight for. That doesn’t make it okay that she seems to forget the concept of intersectionality (which she’s definitely aware of) the second anything challenges her own power, but it does explain why a firm run by women is so important to her.
Diane is not wrong that she deserves name partnership and she’s not wrong to not want to step aside. Yet, starting a war to retain her position as name partner is a CHOICE. The best thing for Diane to do here (morally, I mean) would be for her to step aside and throw her resources behind the firm’s new leadership, using her experiences and stature to benefit the firm (this would also be a way for her to cement her legacy and mentor a new generation of leaders). The best compromise, I think, would be for someone to leave the current firm—either Diane or the dissenting partners, probably Diane since Liz seems to agree with Madeline—without any hard feelings. The worst possible choice is for Diane to insist that this firm is hers and force every single tension at the firm to come to a head, screwing over Liz in the process and potentially permanently ruining the firm’s status as a black firm. Sooo... yeah.
(I say it could ruin the firm’s status as a black firm because if Diane’s a white partner who happens to be there and the firm is mostly black, that’s one thing. If Diane is a white partner who fought all of the black partners to assert her own dominance over their firm... that’s hard to come back from. She can’t really call herself an ally, can she?)
“Diane, this is the first time I’ve ever heard you sound defeated,” Kurt says. “Because I can’t win this,” she says. She insists she can’t even after Kurt tries to cheer her on (of course he does, he probably thinks having an all black firm is just identity politics and therefore worthless).
“You just don’t want to,” Kurt says. He is not wrong. This is a winnable fight for Diane. Liz is smart but Diane has the experience, the clients, the power, and her own reputation to use in this fight. Liz has her dad’s name (and I don’t think it would come to this, but Diane knows how she can pretty easily destroy Liz’s dad’s reputation). (Liz is great, don’t get me wrong. Liz is also someone who happened into a name partnership because her dad was important.)
“It’s bigger than that. To fight this would go against every fiber of my being,” Diane says. “Every fiber in your being is about winning,” Kurt counters. Oh, damn. That’s a succinct way of putting it. He is completely right. Diane would love to think that every fiber of her being is about her commitment to social justice and women’s rights. It is not. If that were the case, would she really be a lawyer with clients like ChumHum, Bishop, Sweeney, Rivi, and Wolfe-Colman? We all know the answer to this. We all know Diane likes social justice a lot but winning, wealth, and power far more.
When I first watched TGW, now nearly a decade ago, I was a high schooler and my media diet mostly consisted of Desperate Housewives and a bunch of procedurals like Bones and Castle. The thing that hooked me about TGW—more than Alicia’s journey, more than anything—was that TGW never had easy answers to anything. Will tells Diane in 1x07 that “nothing here is pure and nothing here is simple” and that basically blew my mind. TGW always made it obvious that Will was morally gray, which fascinated me. But I struggled with Diane. Here was this woman who looked like she should be someone so impressive and inspirational I could write a college admissions essay about her (I did not, but that was my frame of reference at the time)… but the decisions she made... never seemed all that great?? I couldn’t comprehend it.
When Blue Ribbon Panel aired in March 2012, I wrote to a friend, “Diane confused me a little bit tonight. She didn’t approve of Alicia standing up to the panel, and yet, she’s supposed to care about people, the truth, morality, etc etc. I never understand Diane’s motivations– is her philosophy to help others whenever it wouldn’t hurt her, personally, to do so?”
At that point, Diane compromising her values struck me as something confusing because I wanted to think of her as a powerful role model and icon, and I didn’t know what to do with someone who looked like and often was role model material who also sometimes betrayed her values for her own self-interest. I had my analysis of Diane down: she her motivations ARE to help others whenever it wouldn’t hurt her, personally, to do so. All I needed to do was remove my question mark from the end of that thought.
I promise I’ll move on from quoting myself, but I also want to share a paragraph I wrote about Diane in March 2014 (during season five of Wife) because it says what I want to say now as well as anything I could write today:
Diane is driven and ambitious. Her initial actions can come as the result of intense emotions, but given enough time and space, Diane will always be strategic and pragmatic when it comes to business. She’s spent her entire life putting her career first, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. That she found love is just icing. Kurt aside, the two most important things to Diane are advancing her own self-interest and doing good in the world. These objectives appear to be a contradiction, and often, they are. Nine times out of ten, when it comes down to it, she’ll choose herself. I mean no judgment here: another central aspect of Diane’s character is that she’s upfront about her choices and stands by them, and this sort of moral ambiguity makes for a great character.
The reason I quote myself here is not to be like, ha ha, I was right. It's because I think this episode is even more powerful because I can copy/paste in stuff I wrote nine years ago or seven years ago (oh god, 2014 was seven years ago?) verbatim and it can hold up as analysis. Both Fight and Wife have always implied Diane’s selfish side and given more than enough evidence to make a convincing argument about it, but they’ve never really engaged with it directly (and if you ask the social media teams for either show, Diane is a #queen who can never do wrong). This episode interrogates something that’s always been an unpleasant part of Diane’s character, and I’m so fucking glad about it.
(I don’t think anyone’s accusing Diane of not growing as a person but it crossed my mind that this could be seen as lack of growth. I don’t think it is. I wouldn’t expect Diane to change. Her life and career are so set that growth on this without a LOT of struggle on her part would feel like a cop out.)
Another reason I quote myself is to highlight how friggin’ character driven this episode is. I’ve seen a lot of people saying this episode felt like old-school TGW—and it absolutely does; that’s also how I felt—and I think that’s because it’s so character focused and meaty.
But back to this scene. Kurt tells Diane that if she doesn’t try to win she should just give up entirely. Seems like bad advice.
“Kurt, I appreciate the pep talk, but I don’t think the way you think. I cannot put my interests above a whole group of people—black people—just so I can keep my position.” Sure you can, Diane. You just don’t like to believe that about yourself. You know how Diane says to Kurt earlier that she knows the NRA will offer him the job? That is how I feel about this scene. The writers go to great lengths to explain where Diane’s head is at when she decides to fight for her partnership, but they’d have needed to do ten times more to get me to believe Diane would step aside voluntarily.
Kurt basically thinks that Diane should fight because if her competition is actually talented enough to deserve name partnership, they should fight her for it. He’s missing the point here.
“But a black person’s talent has always been valued less than mine,” Diane counters. The fact she knows and understands this makes her decision even less forgivable.
Kurt knows he’s going to lose this argument and tries the same strategy he did on 5x01: telling Diane she’s right and should just give up and leave the firm. Diane doesn’t like that answer either.
Given how much I loathed Jay’s hallucinations, I was expecting that when Diane asks Kurt in the middle of the night if he believes the election was stolen and then sits down at her fireplace to have a chat with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I’d loathe what happened next. I did not! I actually really liked it!
I think this is more effective than Jay’s hallucinations, at least for me, because it's less gimmicky. It isn’t played for humor or quirk, and it gets to the character-driven point a LOT faster. This feels more similar to Alicia imagining Gloria Steinem is telling her she’s good enough to be on the Supreme Court in 6x03 than it does to Jay’s hallucinations.
I LOVE that Diane would dream that RBG would advise her on her work dilemma. Dream!RBG tells Diane that “any law firm would be insane to let you go.” (I don’t wanna spend too much time fighting dream logic, but I feel like the operative phrase here is ‘let you go’. Are the RL partners seeing this as letting Diane go? Or are they just trying to get at a different goal and Diane is in the way, and they don’t really care if Diane has top connections or billable hours? It’s almost like the other RL partners want a firm that stands for something and all Diane has stood for thus far at the firm is profit...)
Diane pushes back on RBG and RBG shares her “real” thoughts. This is where this sequence clicks into place for me, because it’s working on a LOT of levels. Obviously, Diane is going to imagine that her hero tells her to do exactly what she wants to do (the aforementioned mental gymnastics). But without losing the level on which this is dream!RBG and filtered through Diane’s POV, the writers are also... criticizing RBG for not stepping down herself!? It’s fascinating and pointed and makes her the exact right choice to play Diane’s conscience.
Dream!RBG shares her life story and notes how she was always asked to step aside, but she didn’t and that’s how she got to be RBG. “Don’t step aside because someone wants you to. Don’t step aside for politics. Men are always asking women to step aside so a man can go first,” RBG advises Diane. Even Diane knows that this isn’t exactly equal to her current situation-- “Even though I’m being asked to step aside so that a black person can take my place?” she counters.
So RBG asks if Diane can still do something “for women” if she says. Diane says yes, and RBG says Diane should do that instead of stepping aside—she should do whatever it takes. That’s the wrong takeaway, Diane! If you want to do something for women then a) you could do something for the black women at your firm lol or b) you could politely remove yourself from the firm, encourage your most profitable clients to stay on if they are wanted by the other partners or and/or c) you could choose to bring your talent and your stature to a non-profit. But, of course, these options aren’t on the table. There’s a reason the options are leave and lose everything or stay and fight for name partnership, and it’s that Diane cares about maintaining control of what she sees as hers and winning more than she cares about anything else, including or even especially her desire to help women.
And also what women is she even helping at RL? Herself? She’s certainly not helping Wolfe-Coleman's rape victim. The closest she’s recently come to helping women is when she told off Weinstein’s lawyer and tried to start #MeToo... in a DREAM.
The score for the next sequence sounds so familiar and I can’t place it. At first, I thought it was Hitting the Fan, but I’m not sure if that’s the right reference (also, damn, the Hitting the Fan score is REALLY GOOD!). I think it might be similar to 5x14 when Alicia’s pacing back and forth in the hotel room.
Anyway, Diane starts meeting with her (white, male) clients to tell them about how she’s stepping aside. She hasn’t run this past any of the other partners, of course. She’s doing exactly what they want, in the most malicious and calculated way possible.
One of her clients is a fracking client who wants to win over democrats by being a RL client.
Diane is so sneaky here! No one said that if Diane steps aside as partner she can’t handle the day to day on her cases... yet that’s what Diane tells this client since she knows it’ll make him mad!
Diane makes a point of showing her fracking client that his new representation will be Madeline. He doesn’t know anything about Madeline, and, as Diane was likely counting on, he isn’t confident in having a black woman he’s less “comfortable” with on his cases. I don’t know if Diane was going for the racial element here, but... if you’re really concerned about continuity, you don’t have this meeting without having Madeline ready to jump in and show she’s read up on the client. I’m sure it’s possible that Diane meant nothing in giving this client only Madeline’s name, title, gender, and race to go off of, but is that likely?
She hands another (white, male) client off to Julius, whom she describes as a “very competent lawyer.” What an introduction. She says she’s not retiring and the firm “just wants to let some other people step forward into a name partner position.” Diane knows how to sell clients on changes they won’t like. She knows this isn’t how you do it.
That phrase, “comfortable with you” is doing a lot of work, no? Both clients so far have said it, and while it might not be racially coded... it’s racially coded.
“Who should we call about it?” the clients ask. Diane can barely keep herself from smiling.
They call David Lee, immediately. He takes the call in the middle of a meeting, while someone else is talking—he is David Lee, after all.
The information on the screen in David’s meeting is quite interesting. It’s about STRL’s plans for RL. Here’s how the firm is described: “RL is a high-end mid-sized Chicago law firm that can consolidate its specialized brand within the American POC community and expand its national and global brand with STR Laure.” Soooo... yeah. For the corporate overloards, RL needs it to be just black enough that it appears like a black firm, but they care more about appearances and branding than anything of substance. (Notice how it says “POC” and not black? Notice how there’s this mention of national and global presence that doesn’t seem to be on the RL partners’ mind?)
There’s an area called room for growth, listing top clients—entertainment law, fracking, the DNC, and civil cases against CPD. Interestingly, two of these are Liz’s clients (entertainment and DNC), one is Adrian’s (civil cases against CPD), and only fracking is Diane’s... so maybe I didn’t give Liz enough credit earlier.
There’s also a plan of action that includes partners working with STRL and the 15-20% layoffs we already know about. I don’t think this text is meant to include any new info, but I assume one of the writers had a hand in writing it and it’s a good way of confirming things that had been subtext.
Wackner’s reality show looks... well, like his court, because his court always looked like a reality show. Cutting together the most out-there moments (audience reaction cards, Wackner singing “Come on defense!”, Wackner renaming himself Judge Shmuley for a day) makes Wackner look pretty bad.
Hey Liz, I thought you figured out how to silence your notifications for Dawnk permanently. (It’s not all high-stakes controversy over on the “R&L General” channel—the anon animals are now discussing a broken coffee maker.) (Though even this discussion is a bit political! Anon Owl says they bet STR’s coffee machine works, and Anon Dolphin wants to know why they don’t have more coffee maters at RL.)
There’s also a dance party—which Marissa participates in—in the footage of Wackner.
Hey, wouldn’t Marissa have reported the cameras to Diane and Liz? I feel like she’d know they’d want to know.
Wackner ends up on the stand to offer context for the strange-looking clips. In a smart move, Liz offers to just let Judge Farley ask questions—she knows that’s what Farley is really after.
Unsurprisingly, Wackner’s context makes his outrageous practices seem much more reasonable. There’s a scoreboard to keep lawyers aware of where they’re standing so they can gauge instead of guess at Wackner’s thought process. Shmuley is to honor a recently deceased relative. The costumes are to prevent bias and cut down entitlement.
Plaintiff’s counsel argues that Wackner is biased and the case continues even though Wackner’s (mostly) won over Farley.
The case next turns to something about copyright law that sounds downright silly—the point is to underline that Wackner’s court makes more sense than real court on some things. It makes more common sense and it’s less racist.
Del gets called into court. It’s interesting how these scenes are blocked together rather than spread out. The same is true of Diane’s scenes—after credits, we have Diane and Liz at the bar, Diane at home, Diane talking to RBG, Diane making moves, and then David Lee becoming aware of the situation. Then we have several consecutive court scenes (all of which feel like they have natural break points) of Wackner stuff. If I had to guess, I would guess that it’s to keep the momentum going. The Diane stuff plays better when it feels like a continuous chain rather than a subplot.
(The only thing that suffers is that I have no idea why there’s a court scene about copyright law right after the plaintiff argues they have evidence about Wackner’s bias? I probably wouldn’t have even noticed if the scenes had been spread out more.)
Now Cord’s involvement with Wackner’s court becomes an issue. It’s funny they need a witness to bring up Cord when Cord is SITTING IN THE COURT ROOM.
Apparently Cord is financing a company that would compete with the plaintiff’s company and this means Wackner is biased. As the next scene will explain, Cord wasn’t even aware of his investment in the rival company, and Wackner certainly wasn’t. But, regardless, it’s going to be challenging to prove that neither Wackner nor Cord knew about the investment, and the opposition is going to go after Cord’s financial records, which no one wants. Liz suggests a continuance, which would give Wackner about a year to keep working on his court before they have to come back to this issue.
Wackner HATES the idea of delays and is all, THIS IS WHY I HAVE MY OWN COURT and again, he isn’t wrong.
David Lee needs to see Liz, now. Liz and Diane meet in David Lee’s office and stare at their phones. Diane says she has no idea what the meeting is about, even though she basically set up the meeting herself.
“What the fuck is going on?” David Lee says. Diane feigns surprise and asks for more specifics. David Lee reveals that four top clients have called with issues about their representation shifting.
Liz knows what’s going on and aggressively says, “Diane, thoughts?” “Nothing from me. I met with my clients. I just told them of a restructuring that I was being told about,” Diane says like it’s no big deal. Liz and Diane both know that Diane forced this meeting.
“Is this a power play on your part?” Liz asks Diane. “No, it’s just updating my clients,” Diane says for David Lee’s benefit or commitment to the bit or something. It is definitely a power play, and a nearly unforgivable one done to an ally.
“David, Diane was told about frustration at the partner level about a white woman being a name partner in a black firm. And apparently, this is her response,” Liz explains. “I just told our clients what was going on,” Diane defends. David Lee doesn’t really care about what happened: he cares about one thing, and that thing is money.
“Diane’s a fucking name partner until STR Laurie says she’s not. No one decides until I decide. Now stick your race war back in its bottle,” David Lee says. I mean, basically, yeah, that’s what happens when you merge with a huge firm that only cares about profit.
I like that this ends up coming back to STRL. You can’t really have a conversation about RL’s identity without also acknowledging that RL is not independently owned. Sure, STRL will care at some point if RL loses its clout with the black community—but like most companies, they care about guaranteed loss of profit and the short term more than long-term what-ifs. It may sound cynical, but if Madeline and all of the other partners quit, STRL would simply put all their effort into keeping Liz or even just the Reddick name and would then hire black lawyers who think more like Julius than Madeline to keep the reputation. STRL does not give a shit about helping anyone, and that’s what Diane counts on.
I do not believe the version of RL that Madeline wants can exist when they’re under STRL’s control. I believe the version Diane wants (not really a black firm) can, and I believe the version Liz seems to want (one that’s mostly black and occasionally social justice focused) can, but this issue won’t go away until STRL does.
Sure, Diane, keep telling yourself you’re fighting the good fight out here.
(Perhaps “The Good Fight” is a more ironic and fraught title than it originally seemed.)
“That was a mistake. I am on your side, and you don’t even realize it,” Liz tells Diane afterwards. Interesting that Liz says “I am” and not “I was.” I would love to know what Liz really thinks about this situation and hope we get more from her POV next week. I think Liz wants to run a black firm, but I also think she wants to run a successful firm and likes working with Diane. Liz is on Diane’s side about as much as she can be while still advocating for Diane to step down.
Pissing off Liz is a very interesting move for Diane here, too. Diane wants to fight the one person who is on her side for control of a firm that doesn’t want her there, and she’s convinced herself this is the smart move! Kind of wild. What does Diane think the day to day will look like? I think I said this above, but in forcing this war, Diane is all but guaranteeing that if she wins, RL will only be a black firm in that STRL will say it’s one to make more money.
Julius and Diane chat next. Julius says he wants to start his own firm—with Diane. Her only reaction is laughter, but, like, this is probably happening. I’m not sure why she laughs. It’s not quite a case of unfortunate timing (Diane could’ve done this before she blew things up, and it’s not quite too late for Diane to commit to leaving and smooth things over with Liz), so maybe it’s just a “well, this sounds familiar!” laugh.
(If you think of Previously On as 5x00 instead of 5x01, that would make this episode 5x05, which would make this a Hitting the Fan callback. I can also do mental gymnastics!)
The episode could end there, but it doesn’t. We’ve still got a Wackner plot to resolve. Cord has some people beat up the plaintiff as a way of enforcing Wackner’s verdict and getting the real court case to go away. Marissa picks up on what’s happened faster than Wackner does, unless Wackner just doesn’t care.
It’s subtle, but throughout this episode, there’s a little bit of a trend towards Marissa becoming more skeptical of Wackner. She tries to keep him under control in court, tries to reason with him about the continuance, and in this scene, she just looks entirely displeased and alarmed every time she’s on camera.
We get another scene with RBG. “It’s different for me than it was for you,” Diane says. She notes that unlike RBG, she herself is up against another “dominated culture.” This other dominated culture is “black lawyers.” (I’m sorry, I just find the way she says “black lawyers” funny, partially because she says “lawyers” instead of people and partially because Diane seems insistent on only occasionally remembering that Liz is both black and female.)
I can’t tell if this scene was originally intended to close the episode or not. The blocks of scenes, the way the episode seems like it should’ve ended with Julius’s laugh but instead has three more scenes (guy getting beat up, Wackner’s court, this one), and the fact the Kings said this episode had to be almost totally rethought because both Christine and Audra had concerns about the original script all suggest to me that maybe some of the scenes in this episode got shuffled around to keep momentum and hit the right notes at the right time.
Diane acknowledges that RBG could’ve stepped down and we wouldn’t have a conservative majority on the court now if she had. RBG insists that she wouldn’t have stepped aside even if Obama had guaranteed that her replacement would be black. She says it’s because she only knows what she can do—not what others would do. And “what you know is always better than what might happen.”
Even if this was originally supposed to happen earlier (Diane saying she doesn’t know what to do makes me feel like it way), I like that we get to see it’s still weighing on Diane after the fact.
(Also, I have seen some comments about, for lack of a better phrase, the girl power energy of these Diane and RBG scenes. No! These scenes aren’t a tribute to RBG! She’s in these scenes because she didn’t step down and can thus help Diane excuse her own actions! These scenes aren’t exactly anti-RBG, but they are certainly critical of some of her choices!)
The topic shifts to Diane and Kurt’s relationship (another reason to put this somewhere other than the main part of the episode; this would slow down the momentum of the middle part of the episode) and its similarity to RBG’s friendship with Scalia.
Tbh, I don’t think a friendship and a marriage are all that similar on this front and I’d be curious to see Diane think about RBG/Scalia in the context of her potential partnership with Julius rather than her marriage.
RBG basically tells Diane to stay with Kurt. Diane thanks her, and then, back in reality, tells Kurt to take the NRA job so he’ll be happy—and then she’ll just sue him. Okay, that feels like an episode ending, so I am REALLY curious about all the re-writing and re-structuring that happened in this episode and what did/didn’t get touched. I can’t make up my mind about what feels out of place.
So we start out with Diane feeling like it might be the right thing to explore whether or not it still makes sense for her to be with Kurt, a suspected insurrectionist and future NRA employee, and Diane feeling like she wants to help her friends and partners at her mostly black firm do good in the world. And we end with Diane doubling down on her relationship with Kurt, giving her blessing for the NRA job, and fucking over her colleagues because she wants to keep her own power. Dark! I love it.
This episode does this all without making Diane entirely unsympathetic, which is astounding. While I think Diane knowingly makes choices that further her self-interest over the values she (claims to?) hold and I am definitely NOT Team Diane on her decisions in this episode, this episode could easily have been less interesting and complex. It’s understandable that Diane would not want to step aside from a firm she’s helped build—who would? It’s understandable that Diane might not feel the passion for a black firm the way she does for a female firm. It’s understandable that Diane might not want to blow up her marriage, despite her political differences from Kurt. This episode allows Diane to be just sympathetic enough she never becomes a flat villain, but never sympathetic enough that someone could mistake this episode for one that shows Diane as a morally pure hero. Personally, I love that in a TV show. That’s the exact kind of writing that made me love Alicia Florrick enough that I still spend a considerable amount of time thinking about her character arc even though TGW ended half a decade ago. It’s what’s been missing from a lot of TGF episodes for me, and why I’ve said that TGF seems like a show more about theme than character. It’s why I’ve written—oh god, TEN THOUSAND words—about this episode.
I have no clue what’s going to happen next, but I hope it includes more character-driven drama (ideally with a lot of good material for Liz) and not a lot of firm-jumping shenanigans.
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I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.
this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!
so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?
but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate
and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already
so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl
btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death
anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered
so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining
im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there
and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future
which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell
so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs
so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why
but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much
besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess
AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten
sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context
anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone
but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't
someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't
but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company
and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go
honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"
so.... alec goes
and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?
meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?
and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to
and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her
but also... he misses magnus already
and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind
and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there
and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower
she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind
and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay
driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea
except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves
and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park
anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time
good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves
so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too
which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse
izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus
but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?
they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]
anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it
izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good
*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him
full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!
which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good
which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice
eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)
and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me
#sh#shadowhunters#malec#magnus bane#alec lightwood#izzy lightwood#lightwood siblings#clizzy if u squint#beauty and the beast au#part 2 i guess lmao#ask#shum-baby#long post#abuse mention
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Why, why, why (5)
University student!Yuta x reader
Genre: slight enemies to lovers au, a bit of angst, a lot of fluff, and several mixups
Summary: You just got into uni and decided to move in with your childhood friend!Taeyong at the city where you are going to study. As you’re about to start your new, adult life, you meet his friends, and you realize that not everyone likes you. Nakamoto Yuta in particular almost seems like he hates you.
A/N: In this fic, Jonghyun from NU’EST appears for a while (just to avoid confusion). Also, wow I never thought I’d post this. I hope you guys like it. Also I thought I’d update every Sunday but I couldn’t restrain myself. Welp.
Warnings: n/a
Word count: 2.4K (this was originally two smaller parts but idk I thought they were quite small on their own so now they’re together hahah)
Part 5/11 (I think) First / Previous / Next
Taglist: @melitadala @chxotickpoptrash @aiforyuu @fineapplehoe (let me know if you’d like to be tagged!)
One, two, three beers later and you were already spilling the tea between you and Yuta, and Jonghyun was more than happy to listen.
“Do you get it? I’m doing everything in my power to make him like me just a little. I don’t want Taeyong to go through all this because of us. He doesn’t deserve anything like this,” you complained.
“I didn’t know Yuta was so passive-aggressive.”
“He’s not. Or, at least I don’t think he is. I just feel like he’s trying to protect his friendship.”
“From you? It doesn’t make sense. I mean, I’ve only known you for a little while but I don’t think you’d want to get in the way of their friendship.” He was right. And he was supportive. And you couldn’t believe you were complaining to him about another guy.
“Okay, enough of this Yuta talk. It’s something that will probably be solved on its own. And we can’t spend all night talking about him, or my problems. Tell me about yourself. Tell me about your friends, your interests, or anything you feel like represents you in any way.” You smiled, hoping he wasn’t already too tired.
“It felt really nice that you talked to me about it. If that’s not getting to know each other, then I don’t know what is.” He paused, took a sip of his drink and continued. “Well, if you’d like so much to know about me, you should know I love biographical movies with elements of fiction, but what I love most is movie soundtracks. Good movie soundtracks, to be exact, but definitely not musicals. They’re not really my thing. In fact, we usually plan movie nights for the entire campus. It’s a nice opportunity to get everyone together, even people from different departments. This Saturday we’re watching The Zodiac Killer.”
“Oh, yeah, I’ve already been informed,” you chuckled. “Maybe we can go together, if you’d like.”
“I’d love to. Text me your address and I’ll pick you up around eight. Is that okay?” he asked.
“Perfect.”
As the night progressed, Jonghyun and you bonded quite a lot. He shared with you his love for cats, as well as a picture of his own cat that he adored. You loved how cute he looked when he talked about her, and even asked him to visit his place one day to meet her. Bold, but you were brave enough to do it.
It was getting late and you thought you had to return home at some point. It was your first date, after all. He obviously offered to walk you home and you were smart enough to accept. For the ten minutes it took you to reach your apartment, you continued talking. When you reached the front door, you stopped.
“This is it,” you said.
“We’re already here? That’s too bad.”
“What, you wanted it to be further?”
“No, it’s not that. I just had a great time and I didn’t really want the night to end.” He looked down as he said that, waiting to hear what you thought.
“I had a great time too,” you answered. “But I’ll see you again on Saturday, and your coffee is excellent, so I’ll definitely come by before class.” You both laughed, probably trying to hide a bit of your enthusiasm that you hit it off.
“See you on Saturday then?”
“Definitely.” You were about to unlock the door when he stopped you.
“Wait,” he said, and you were more than willing to.
“What is it-” he cut you off with a kiss, something you definitely didn’t expect. You were surprised for a second but soon returned the kiss. After a few seconds, you both pulled back. You could see him blushing, and that made you feel good. You knew he was just a shy boy that liked you, maybe a bit too much, but he made you feel good. That was all you wanted then.
You looked at each other and didn’t know what to say. You were the first one to break the silence, even though you were completely flustered yourself. “Goodnight,” you said, barely getting yourself together, before kissing him once more.
“Goodnight.”
You went inside your apartment and saw Taeyong sitting with the others, thankfully in the living room, so they couldn’t have seen you with Jonghyun.
“A bit late, aren’t we?” Taeyong teased you.
“Shut up… Do I say anything when you’re out on dates?” you laughed. You said hi to the others and went in your room to change. After a while, Taeyong came in.
“You know, Yuta told me you’re coming with us at the movie night this Saturday. Is that true?”
“Yeah, and Jonghyun will be there too. In fact, he’s picking me up.”
“We could have walked together, but at least I’ll get to open the door and see his face. Maybe even intimidate him a little.”
“Taeyong, are you serious? First of all, you’re the softest person I’ve ever met. How is it possible that you’ll ever intimidate anyone?” you chuckled.
“Thank you so much for the support. You’re a true friend. But, seriously, let me open the door and see his face.”
“Fine,” you agreed and saw the excitement on his face. “Anyway, you should tell your friends to come too.”
“Yeah, I’ll tell them tomorrow.” And so, it happened. You went to class the next day and told Chan, BamBam and Yugyeom, who were overjoyed. They were looking for an opportunity to get to know more people, but also see firsthand how things were between Jonghyun and you.
In the following days you didn’t see Jonghyun much, although you did spend a great part of your day texting him. You had a lot of classes and only saw him a bit when you stopped by the coffee shop to get some coffee, which you knew he made perfectly. You texted a lot though, but everything was quiet, at least until the night of the festival, when hell broke loose.
Chan had once more come over to help you pick out your outfit for the big night. The man had taste; you couldn’t deny that. You had decided on a blue dress with small flowers all over, just because the weather was still warm, and you wanted to dress to impress. What kind of date would it be if you didn’t want to mesmerize your date?
So, when the day came, you left Taeyong responsible for opening the door to Jonghyun, exactly like you promised, and went to your room to get ready. You had your wireless earphones on, so you couldn’t hear a thing of what was going on inside, so you took your time putting your makeup on and doing your hair. You had at least an hour before Jonghyun came to pick you up, and you definitely planned on taking some time to talk with Taeyong before your date came. Moral support was very much needed at times like these.
~ ☼ ~
In the living room, Taeyong was alone, scrolling through his phone. He was starting to get kind of bored when the doorbell rang. It was too early to be Jonghyun, so it could only be one other person.
“Yuta, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at uni helping the other students with preparations?” Taeyong’s wide eyes showed how shocked he was to have found him standing in front of his door.
“It wasn’t my turn today, so I thought I’d come and pick you guys up. See, I told Y/N to come with us too,” he said, trying to brush it off as quickly as he could.
“I know. I told her to bring her friends too. It’s a uni event either way, so I figured it would be nice for them to get to know each other more and meet new people.”
“True. They’re first years, you’re right. It’s hard enough that they’re just starting to live alone, let alone find new friends.”
“Exactly. Besides, Y/N will-” the phone rang. “Wait a sec, it’ll be quick.” And, just like that, Yuta was left alone in your living room, taking his regular seat on the couch. Two minutes later, he saw Taeyong trying to sign at him that this would take a little longer than expected, and to make himself comfortable, which he did for the next fifteen minutes. He went to the kitchen and grabbed some water, went back to his regular seat, and waited for both of you to come out of your rooms.
The doorbell rang.
Yuta thought he should answer the door, because you could have told some of your friends to come by your house before the movie. It made perfect sense. He opened the door with a smile, ready to greet your friends, as the one contact he had with Chan didn’t go that well, but he didn’t see what he expected to.
“Oh, Yuta, I didn’t know you’re Y/N’s friend!” Jonghyun said, smiling at him. “Now that I think about it, you know Taeyong, so that makes sense. Can I come in?”
Yuta stood aside for him to get in but couldn’t muster the courage to say one word to him. He would be there? He would take you to the movie night. It sounded about right, since you had just started dating, but something inside of him didn’t feel right. He knew you’d be with your friends, but with him too? That was pure treason. And treason for what? It wasn’t like he was expecting anything from you, was he?
He shook his head and turned to Jonghyun. “Y/N is still in her room and Taeyong had an important phone call, so can I get you anything?” He kept telling himself he had to be nice, normal. He had to be calm and composed.
“No, I’m good, thanks. No worries.” Jonghyun kept smiling at him, and it drove him crazy.
That was when Taeyong came out of the room. “Sorry, Yuta, Y/N’s mom wanted to check something about some bills, and I had to explain everything to her. Apparently, Y/N was too busy to pick up the phone today, if you know what I mean.” He sighed. He looked at Yuta, who didn’t reply to his comment, then he looked at Jonghyun, who was standing in the middle of the living room smiling at him. “Oh, hi! You must be Jonghyun!”
“Hello, Taeyong. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
After a few moments of silence, Taeyong took Jonghyun to the couch and started slowly interrogating him. He didn’t even know what he wanted to ask him, but he always felt protective as far as you were concerned. He was like your big brother. In the meantime, Yuta sat at the edge of the couch and didn’t say a word until you came out of your room.
“Taeyong, I swear to god if my mom calls you again, I’ll kill her.” You shout from down the hall. “She has to talk to me about this kind of stuff, she can’t keep bothering you when I don’t-” oh shit.
~ ☼ ~
It was the first time after an hour that you had taken off your earphones and felt ready enough to come outside and find Taeyong. You were hoping for some cheering up, but you soon realized that it was definitely out of question. As soon as you entered the living room, you knew you were fucked. You saw Taeyong sitting incredibly close to Jonghyun, who was early to pick you up, and standing as far away from them as possible was Yuta, who didn’t seem to be able to stop staring at you. In fact, all three men were unable to stop staring at you. Taeyong, with his puppy eyes, about to say that you had grown into a beautiful woman, until you gave him a death stare, and the other two seemed kind of…stuck.
Jonghyun was the first one to break the silence. “Y/N, hi. You look beautiful.” He smiled. God, you loved his smile. “Are you ready to go?”
You smiled back and nodded. “Yeah, just let me get my jacket.”
He greeted the others and went to wait outside. You grabbed your jacket and looked at Taeyong, who was smiling like an idiot. You knew that this was a good sign, and that he had liked Jonghyun, so you didn’t bother talking to him anymore. You looked at Yuta, who was still not moving. You were about to say hello, but he beat you to it. “Hello, Y/N. You look beautiful.”
“Thanks, Yuta, you don’t look bad yourself,” you said, and you knew you were lying, because he looked like a god to you. He was wearing a t-shirt and a leather jacket, with ripped jeans and various jewelry, which included the earrings that you liked the most on him. You didn’t move your eyes for a few seconds, and neither did he. Those few moments were filled with tension, which Taeyong picked up and broke off, or else there would have been casualties. “Come on, Y/N, your date is waiting for you!” You nodded and left, leaving the two together. You hoped you’d find them both alive when the movie started.
You walked a bit with Jonghyun, and when you were in a big enough distance from your house, you turned to him and kissed him gently. You didn’t know if this was too rushed, as you had only exchanged one kiss the other night and it hadn’t been that long since you met each other, but it felt right to you, and you realized it felt right to him as well, as he couldn’t stop smiling. He was practically looking at you with heart eyes.
“I didn’t want to say too much in your house, because I thought we should be alone when I did, but Y/N, you’re stunning today.”
“Thank you, and yes, I know what you mean. Taeyong can be a handful sometimes. Sorry if he was too annoying.” You laughed.
“No, he was really nice. To be honest, I’d never really talked to him before, and he seemed pretty nice.”
“Then, what?”
“Y/N, you didn’t… Oh, never mind. Let’s go and find our seats, the movie starts in a few minutes.”
#yuta x reader#yuta x you#yuta fanfic#yuta fluff#yuta angst#yuta headcanon#nakamoto yuta x reader#nakamoto yuta x you#nakamoto yuta fanfic#nakamoto yuta fluff#nakamoto yuta angst#nakamoto yuta headcanon#nct yuta x reader#nct yuta x you#nct yuta fluff#nct yuta angst#nct yuta headcanon#yuta#nct yuta#nakamoto yuta#kpop
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Holiday Dinner Headcanons
@some-piece requested: Hello :3 May I request fluffy headcanons (or scenarios, whatever suits you better) for Law and Zoro (seperately) being invited by their fem s/o's parents for a holiday dinner, in modern!AU? It's the first time the boys interact with s/o's family, so they want to make more or less good impression. The problem is s/o comes from a different country and the traditional dishes served on the dinner are well, simply disgusting for poor boys. Thank you! :)
Dfjklafs I have no idea why tumblr won’t let me tag your main ldjfasl
Ahh Bas, this was just a delight to write! I had so much fun thinking about how they would react in this kind of scenario ahhh It may be a tad chaotic from how excited I was, but I hope you still enjoy these Hon! Thank you for requesting it!
Law, Zoro x Female Reader
Warnings: Modern au! Pure fluff, Comedy
Words: 997
Trafalgar Law-
Okay- This is an extremely important day for Law. He is meeting your parents for the first time- The people that brought his beautiful woman into this world and he needs everything to go as smooth as possible
Usually, I would say he would not care as much but since it is the modern au- He would totally care but that will change depending on how your parents treat you- He will not let them be terrible to you
Anyway, the goal for Law, in this case, is to make a decent impression and to be honest, Law would be really nervous, but he does not express it until you both go home
You can probably tell he is stressed out beyond belief before you leave to your parent’s house with his fingers fidgeting occasionally, and his short replies but you find it endearing that he cares about you that much that he is feeling stressed about this
That means he cares and him wanting to meet your parents is his proof that he cares about you so much
He totally brings a gift that he says he just found when in reality he took ages to find a perfect practical gift- Your parents love it and that is all that matters
When he actually meets them, he finds the qualities you share with them immediately and it makes him feel better
Especially if they are really kind and want him to feel at home this holiday
He helps with any preparations necessary and if you have siblings- He takes the effort in getting to know them too
All goes perfectly well- Too well in fact
The second the food is done, and dinner is going to be served- That is when he realizes something
The food does not look appetizing
FDSALK IT WORSENS IF THERE IS BREAD IN ANY OF THE DISHES
But then he remembers that you even warned him- Gave him a huge heads-up
This man will not let you down. He will eat whatever they present to him and however- It does not matter how disgusting he thinks the food is. It was made with love and full of tradition, so he puts this at the top of his list of things he has to do to win them over
I feel like he would definitely get used to the foods as holidays go by and he may even enjoy them (as long as it is not food with bread in it)
But 10/10 would try to please you and your parents even if he is acting like he does not care (and really tries to sell that idea) he really does care and just wants to make the best impression for your parents
Roronoa Zoro-
Zoro is sort of the opposite of Law. He knows how important this day is, what it means to you, and he will try to make a good impression, but he is not the type to grovel at your parent’s feet if that is what they expect
The gift he brings is of course- Alcohol, and he is also the one to open it first aldjfals
He is not that thrilled to meet your parents since he knows he tends to be a bit too blunt, but he is also pretty outgoing and happy that you trust him enough to let him meet your parents
All is well but since Zoro feels out of his element he does tend to stick to your side and not help (unless your parents are on the older side then he will help like crazy)
As it gets closer to dinner- Something nudges him in the back of his brain. He swore you told him something but for the life of him, he can’t remember…
Until the dishes are out on the table and he remembers and feels slightly guilty
You warned him that the food may not be what he is used to and… Frankly, he thinks there is no way he can eat that- Of course, he is going to try but he can’t promise anything
Again, he is pretty blunt and forgets he is here to make a decent impression
So of course, he can’t hide his facial expressions or the tiny noises of dislike when he eats some of the food and it is a dead giveaway, he does not like it, but your parents hold in their amusement
He is after all indulging them for you
Just tell him what is healthy in the dishes and how he can benefit from eating it and he will not complain again and may even help himself to seconds if allowed
If there are no healthy benefits you may need to buy him food to make up for this dinner later
Either way, he does try his best and he would feel bad if his impression turned out to be bad-
Just have him get into a drinking contest with one of your parents or older siblings and he will also forget about the taste since his head will be slightly intoxicated
Overall Zoro tries his best but he is the one to fail in making a good impression most likely from being too blunt with the traditional foods
He will 100% make up for it at a different holiday and make it a personal challenge
*I feel like I made Law sound a bit too nice lol but do not get me wrong- Both males want to be on the good side of your parent’s opinion but in the end, if they simply aren’t and they gave it their all, they will not care because it is your parent’s loss. They just care about how you feel in the end (and may apologize for not liking the food fjlkadj)
As time goes on with being with you though I feel like they would take the initiative to learn a few basic traditional dishes just for you
#my writing#one piece x reader#one piece#trafalgar law x reader#roronoa zoro x reader#trafalgar law#roronoa zoro#fanfiction#headcanons#holiday headcanons#one piece fanfiction#one piece headcanons#female reader#fluff
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The One With Mrs. Bing Part Four (It’s All Alright)
Last Part (Part Three) Series Masterlist
It was the next day and it was into the early evening, but as you made your way from the store to the coffee house the city was already dark. When you walked into Central Perk you saw Monica and Phoebe talking about something while Rachel sat at the counter with a notepad and a pen. After you hung up your jacket by the door you noticed Joey and Ross sitting over on the couch. “Hey, Rach,” you greeted her as you walked over to the counter. “Hey, Y/N/N. How was work?” She asked as she got up from her stool and walked back around to get whatever you were about to order.
“It was okay, you know. As okay a job can be when you work with people all day everyday. But at least I’m surrounded by things that I love.” You answered as you received the drink that you ordered.
“Oh, believe me, I get it on the whole working with and for people, but as for the thing I love. You can only love coffee so much when you don’t get to drink it.” Rachel told you which made you smile for the first time in a while since the whole thing with Joey lying to you about Ross kissing your mom never left your mind. “Oh, Pheebs, you’re on.” Rachel told her as she led Phoebe over to the stage to introduce her.
“...Oh come on! Just try to not picture her pregnant that’s all.” Joey said to Ross as he held up a picture for him to look at. But considering that was what you heard when you walked in on the tail end of their conversation, they had you a little confused. You weren’t totally sure if you wanted to know what they were talking about, though.
“Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.” Rachel announced, as she left the stage Joey noticed that you had made it back from work and were actually sitting near him. Last night you had slept on the pull out bed, and whenever you actually talked to him you answered with a single word, or you told him that you didn’t know what you were feeling so you didn’t want to say anything yet. But to Joey, it was killing him to not have you talking back to him.
However, for Ross this was his first time seeing you since he told you what he did. “Hey, Y/N,” he cautiously greeted you with a shy smile on his face.
“Ross,” you neutrally greeted him. You had no expression on your face, so to Ross it was hard to tell what you were feeling.
“Oh so you are mad.” Ross mumbled to himself, but slightly hoping you would hear it.
“I’m getting over it.” You mumbled under your breath like he did, and a little smile came on your face when you made eye contact with him and he had the same smile on his face when he realized that the both of you were going to be just fine.
“Does that mean you aren’t mad at me anymore?” Joey asked, perking up in his seat just the smallest bit.
“I’m still kind of mad at you, now watch Phoebe.” You told him quickly before quickly looking away from him again.
“Hi, um I’d like to start with a song that’s about a man that I recently met, that has become very important to me.
“You don’t have to be awake to be my man. Long as you have brain waves I’ll be there to hold your hand. Though we just met the other day, there’s something I have got to say...Okay, thank you very much. I’m going to take a short break.” Phoebe abruptly stopped when she noticed Monica slowly inching her way to the store, and Phoebe in a rush to follow her knocked the microphone stand down to the ground as she rushed her way out the door to beat Monica. While your eyes were glued to the door wondering what happened, you saw your brother walk through the doors as he watched two of his friends race out of the building.
“What the hell was that?” He asked, looking at only you and Joey. But when Ross tried to answer, Chandler was having none of it. “I believe I was talking to Y/N and Joey. All right there, mother kisser?” Chandler brought up as his mad face came back. Joey couldn’t help but burst into laughter, repeating what Chandler had just said. While couldn’t control the slight cringe on your face for how cold Chandler was being to one of his friends. Ross glared to Joey who just kept laughing.
“I’ll shut up,” Joey told Ross. Immediately becoming serious.
“That’s probably for the best,” you joked but slightly jabbed. Sitting forward and lightly tapping him on his knee. As you looked at your boyfriend you just saw his serious face drop to slightly sad and a little hurt at what you said. But that was less of your worries right now when you saw Ross get up from the couch and walk over to Chandler to talk to him more.
“Chandler, can I just say something? I know you’re still mad at me, but I just want to say there were two people that night.” Ross spoke. “Okay? There were two sets of lips.” After he spoke that, you weren’t sure if it was going to help or not.
“Yes, well I expect this from her, okay? She’s always been a Freudian nightmare.” Now, you weren’t a huge fan of your mom either, but you couldn’t help but think that the way Chandler tried to defend the situation was a little harsh.
“ Well, if she always behaves like this why don’t you say something to her?” Ross couldn’t help but ask. That was always the difference between you and your brother; you never had any problems telling your parents what you and think and actually tried to have a conversation with them sometimes. Whereas, Chandler was concerned, he just always chose to see your parents as evil people. You would admit that they had screwed you and Chandler up quite a bit, but you would at least like to have them in your lives a little bit. It’s not like you had another set of parents waiting to welcome you with open arms.
“It’s complicated. It’s complex. It..Hey you kissed my mom!” Chandler yelled again when he was starting to get uncomfortable like he was getting backed into a wall. Which caused everyone in the coffee house to look over at the group of you.
“We’re rehearsing a Greek Play,” Ross brushed them off which made you roll your eyes.
“That’s very funny, are we done now?” Chandler asked as he tried to take a seat next to you.
“No. You’re not gonna talk to her? You’re not gonna tell her how you feel?” Ross asked him.
“That would be a no. Just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn’t mean you know her. Trust me you can’t talk to her.” Chandler was just starting to grow tired and irritated from this conversation. He did not want to talk about his mom of all people.
“‘You’ can’t? Or you can’t?” Ross asked him while pointing his finger at Chandler. “Okay, that’s my finger.” Ross chuckled when Chandler grabbed his finger and squeezed it way too tight. “Okay, that’s my knee.” Ross sank to his knee when Chandler pushed his finger harder. “Still doing the play.” He told the onlookers again. When he started groaning when Chandler pressed again you couldn’t help but get to your feet and walk over to them. Chandler was taking this way too far.
“Chandler, knock it off.” You whispered loudly at him as you placed a hand on the arm that held Ross’s finger.
“Oh, so you’re okay with mom and him kissing now?” Chandler looked down at you.
“No, of course not. But you and I both know that it’s nothing new for her, and Ross is right maybe it’s time we both called her on it. On all of it.” You were a little scared to bring this up to him, but she wasn’t going to change unless the two of you told her.
“Oh come on, not you too. I thought you moved in with me to get away from her because you were on my side.” Chandler complained now turning his anger on you as he let go of Ross’s finger.
“Oh come on, Chandler. That’s not why and you know that.” You couldn’t believe how much of a baby he was being right now.
“You know what, whatever.” Chandler rolled his eyes, deciding that if none of you were going to see things his way, then he was just going to walk away. So that’s what he did, he just rolled his eyes and walked out of the coffee shop. Leaving you there with Ross and Joey just feeling frustrated. When were you the older sibling all of a sudden?
*******
It was a little bit later in the day and you were at the apartment with Chandler while your mom came to say goodbye before she left again. “Before I go downstairs I just wanted to drop off a few copies of my book for your friends. Anything either of you want from Lisbon?” Your mom asked the both of you before she said her final goodbyes to the both of you.
“No,no. Just knowing you’re going to be there is enough.” Chandler joked, which earned him a light hit in the arm from you.
“All right. Well, be good.” She said looking at the both of you. “And Y/N I know we left off on not the best terms, but I am so proud of you for how hard you’re working for everything.” You couldn’t really believe the words coming out of her mouth. You thought she had just wanted you out of the house, but maybe she just wanted you to find your own way. And little did your family knew, that Chandler was going to be so much help with that.
“Thanks, mom.” You smiled, feeling so touched. You didn’t know your mother could make you feel that way.
“I love you,” she said as she reached up to place a motherly kiss Chandler’s cheek, “and I love you.” She said again as she placed another kiss on your cheek. But it seemed that when your mom opened the door to leave, Chandler just couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“You kissed my best Ross!” He yelled, but when he noticed you looking at him like he was crazy he realized the mistake he made. “Or something to that effect.” You nodded at him once he finally realized that what he said was weird.
“Okay,” your mom started as she closed the door again and made her way back into the living area where the two of you were. “Look, it was stupid.”
“Really stupid.” Chandler added.
“Really really stupid.” You couldn’t help but also add.
“Really stupid and I don’t even know how it happened.” Your mom said honestly to you both with a shrug. “I’m sorry, honey, and I promise it will never happen again. Are we all okay, now?”
“Yeah,” both you and Chandler said with a slight nod and a shrug. “No,” the both of you decided at the end.
You weren’t sure how long the three of you had been at it. But you and mom were finally able to talk about what happened and about you leaving and everything, which then caused Chandler to add to the fact to her that all of your lives she had never acted in a way an appropriate mom would. But finally, as the three of you walked to the door and all you wanted to do was find and talk to Joey. “You okay, kiddos?” Your mom asked when all of you were in the hallway, you smiled slightly over at Ross when you noticed him across the hall.
“I’m okay.” You told her with a small smile as she placed both of her hands on each side of your face and pecked you on the forehead.
“Yeah, I”m okay.” Chandler also smiled his answer down at her.
“Alright, be good.” She kissed his cheek again. “And watch out for your sister, alright?”
“Oh, I know. She’s just too wild.” Chandler joked with your mom as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you couldn’t help but smile mockingly.
“Fly safe.” You told her as Chandler and you started following your mom down the hall, but all of you stopped when you all saw Ross awkwardly standing in the hallway.
“Mrs. Bing.” Ross greeted her, not really looking her in the eye.
“Mr. Geller.” Your mom repeated before turning back to the two of you and winking to you for the progress that she was already making before she finally left.
“Have you seen Joey?” You asked Ross as he knocked on Monica’s door. You just wanted to see him after giving him the cold shoulder, that you think you have gotten over. Plus you wanted to leave Ross and Chandler alone after the hellish week they both had.
“Yeah, I think he’s downstairs somewhere.” Ross let you know. You smiled at him.
“Thanks, I’ll go find him.” You looked from Ross and to your big brother before you patted him on the back lightly and then made your way down the stairs to find Joey.
When you had found him, Joey was standing on the steps to the entrance of the apartment building. When Joey turned around to see who was walking out the door, he smiled when he saw it was you. You didn’t say anything right away, you just walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders and brought him into a hug. “Hi,” you said. Your voice muffled from hiding your face in his shoulder.
“Hey.” Joey smiled to himself as he rubbed your lower back. “So you talked to your mom? He felt you nod against his shoulder. “How’d it go?”
“Long.” You answered with a long sigh as you stepped back but when you felt Joey take both of your hand you smiled as you looked up into his eyes. “But I wanted to come find you and tell you that I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? I’m the one who lied to you,” Joey chuckled smiling down at you.
“I just felt bad for being mad at you, sometimes you’re too cute to be mad at. But sometimes I can’t help it. But if you lie to me again I will kill you.” You told him as you placed a kiss on his lips.
“I love you.” Joey told you before he kissed you again. If you didn’t know better, Joey would look like he was drunk based from the look he was giving you, but you knew that it was because he was beyond happy.
“I love you, too.” After kissing a little bit more. Joey had asked if you wanted to go to bed, and you couldn’t say no to that, so Joey opened the apartment building door for you and ushered you inside before grabbing your hand a quickly dragging you up the stairs.
#friends#friends rewrite#Joey Tribbiani#joey tribbiani x reader#reader#bing!reader#sister!bing#chandler bing#ross geller#rachel green#monica geller#phoebe buffay
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Shared Scars (Part 1)
You remembered the first time you saw the legendary Vash the Stampede. He came to your little town, made a bit of a racket with the kids, and was soon carried away with the wind. You were young then, probably only 17- but he left a lasting impression. Being willing to give you, a poor beggar, the time of day was rare- especially for a non resident. His face burned into your memory, the sight of his bright smile always being present within your mind. You wanted to see him again... However, the next time you'd meet him, you had been hardened by the strenuous life you led in order to survive.
26. That's how old you were when you ran into Vash again. Within a small bar, far from where you'd originally met him, far from the village that you hailed from- the village that was wracked with poverty and death. Far from your least favorite place... You remembered to thank you lucky stars that you made it out of that town with your head on straight.
You took a seat beside the taller figure cloaked in crimson, buying him the same thing you had seen him drinking many years ago- whiskey. With only a brief moment of confusion, Vash's expression became one of shock.
"Hey, do I know you from somewhere..?" Vash asked, a hand coming to his chin. "You look awfully familiar..."
You stifled a laugh behind your gloved hand. "Yes, about nine years ago now. You happened to stumble into a little town for a drink- but I never forgot your face." You smiled, leaning against the bar. "I'm surprised you remembered me, though. You must see a lot of people."
"Ah, yeah." Vash chuckled, the sound filling your ears. How pleasant. "I'm pretty good at recognizing faces, though, and I certainly remember yours. How is everyone from the town doing? All the little tykes grown up?" Vash asked, taking a swig from his whiskey. You shrugged.
"No clue, haven't been there in years. Last I heard, one of the old folks controlling the water supply died, and the whole town fought to take control of the estate. Glad I wasn't there for that."
"That's... unfortunate." Vash commented, face falling only briefly. "Well then, what about you? You seem well."
The two of you spent the night talking, sharing the stories you'd both gotten over your years of wandering. Vash hung on to every word you said, even the mundane. He... he cared. That was strange, but it was what you remembered about him from all those years ago.
How you then ended up tagging along on his travels was, a bit fuzzy in your mind. A few drinks could make you do and say some crazy things, seemingly. But it didn't matter much... you were happy to go along with him, allowing the wind to blow you both wherever it desired.
However, things grew more complicated as your feelings for the gunman emerged, and your desire to hold your secrets even closer intensified.
...
"Vash, I can't wear that..." You frowned at the garment that was being presented to you.
"What? Why not? Is it the wrong size?" Vash flipped the shirt over in his hands, looking for the inner tag.
"No, it's... it's the right size, that's not the issue." Your eyes drifted to the sleeves, examining their short length. "But, ah... it looks like it might be a little short... for my torso..."
"Well, I think it's supposed to be that way. It's cool and breathable, and I mean, you don't need to always wear that sweater- it's so hot out!"
"Vash, you're always in a jacket."
"Yeah, but its fabric protects me. Yours is just hot for no good reason."
Vash made a valid point, but you didn't want to admit it. No, you just didn't want to put on anything more revealing. You were much too nervous.
"C'mon, just try it on?" Vash insisted, giving you a pleading smile. "I'll even get on my knees and beg!"
"No no no- stand back up!" You caught Vash by his waist, not allowing him to finish his kneel. "I'll- I'll wear it-"
"Yes!" Vash pumped his fist in the air.
"...but not right now."
"Oh." He deflated. You sighed, your hands coming to your hips.
"... a date." You mumbled.
"Hm?" Vash tilted his head, questioning.
"A date. I'll wear it if you take me out on a date. Does that sound fair?" You raised a brow, waiting to see if Vash would accept the proposal.
"A date..? Oooh..." Vash elbowed you softly, a mischievous expression overtaking his features. "Have you just been trying to get me into your bed his whole time? Ow-" Vash rubbed his cheek, trying to will the sting from your pinch away.
"Look, is it a yes or no? If you're not interested-"
"I'll take you out, that's no problem." Vash answered, a nervous chuckle escaping him. "I'm just a bit surprised that you'd want that. Dates don't seem like your thing."
"Hey, dates can be fun. Plus, I like food. There's usually food on dates."
"Are you just trying to get me to buy you dinner again?"
"Shhh. Don't think too much about it, you already agreed."
...
Vash decided to meet you at a nice diner. You insisted that you two meet there rather than go together, because you had to get ready first. In truth, you were just giving yourself ample time to psych yourself into actually going.
"C'mon... I don't look that bad..." You muttered to yourself as you looked in the mirror, wearing the shirt Vash had gotten for you. It was a comfortable form fitted shirt in a color that was flattering on you. But, the lack of long sleeves, the fact that it revealed a lot of your back, and its length on your torso wasn't favorable for you.
It showed off the myriad of scars laden across your body, both shallow and deep. Most you had gotten from minor scuffles, or when foraging for scrap to sell. However, a few long slashes on your partially exposed back were clearly an intentional infliction, having gotten them while being robbed many years ago. You shook your head, urging the returning memories from your mind.
Even if you had seen Vash's scarred body before, it didn't change that you were still nervous about revealing your own scars, especially to someone you wanted to seem appealing to. So, before you could talk yourself out of going, you threw on a jacket and left to meet Vash at the diner you had agreed on.
...
"Hey, (Y/n)!" Vash called you over, waving exaggeratively. You gaped, looking at your shadow in an attempt to gage the time. Were you late, or was he just super early?
"Yoohoo, (Y/n), can you hear me~?" Vash called again, hopping up. He was probably scaring off potential customers, bouncing around so boisterously right near the entrance of the establishment. You hurried over to him, trying to get him to stop making a scene.
"Vash, people are gonna look at us funny!" You complained, grabbing hold of one of his arms.
"Aw, what's the problem with that? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? Hey, aren't you supposed to be wearing that shirt I got you?" Vash asked, jumping from one topic to the other faster than you could fully comprehend.
"I am wearing it, I'm just also wearing a jacket." You explained, crossing your arms.
"Oh, well then allow me to get that for you-" Vash moved to stand behind you, ready to help remove your jacket.
"No!!" You stepped out of his reach, glancing away from him. "N...not here. Let's go somewhere a bit more private."
"Oh~? Well-"
"No funny business." You pointed a finger at Vash, trying to muster up a scowl. "We're just stepping aside for privacy, no getting handsy."
"Hey hey, I won't! I'd never do something without a lady's permission first." Vash put his hands up, his palms bared in a defeated way. You sighed, waving Vash over to the side of the building.
The town wasn't particularly busy at this hour, so just moving away from the entrance minimized your chances of anyone stumbling on you two. With one final glance around, you began slowly undoing the clasps on your jacket. Vash hummed, watching with anticipation.
"I'm sure the shirt'll look good on you! I have an eye for that sort of stuff. Here, let me." Vash again reached out, helping to pull the jacket off of your shoulders. He took it, folding it over his arms and ensuring it'd not get wrinkled in the position it was in. "Ookay, well~" Vash grinned as he looked over you, though you could tell he was a bit surprised at what he was seeing. His eyes mostly stayed on the shirt, seemingly examining the way it fit you, but you knew he was just being courteous. "It-" Vash was quickly cut off, and he leaned back to dodge your swift movement.
"Don't say anything yet!" You exclaimed, having put a finger up to his lips. You felt your face heat up as Vash watched you, seemingly confused at your display. You pulled back, crossing your arms protectively over your chest. "I know it must seem a little dumb... getting all embarrassed over this." You bit the inside of your cheek, refusing the intense urge to look away from Vash's expression.
"Dumb?" Vash raised a brow. "Why would it be dumb?"
"Because you've let me see your scars before, so it's not... it's not like I've been under the impression that you'd be repulsed by mine or anything..." You shifted your weight, swaying nervously under Vash's gaze. "A-And even if you did find mine ugly or whatever, I knew you'd be nice about it. Even then, I was still too nervous... I just feel silly..." You shook your head slowly and held a hand out to Vash, now giving in and averting your gaze. "C...Could I have my jacket back now..?"
You heard Vash approach you with a few steps, and then felt your jacket being draped over your shoulders where Vash's hands settled as well. You glanced up at him to see his soft smile, which made your legs feel like jelly.
"You're beautiful, (Y/n)." Vash said simply. "You don't have to be embarrassed about your scars, especially not in front of me. But you don't have to show them off if it makes you uncomfortable or self conscious- I understand how that feels." Vash's knuckles softly stroked down your cheek, and he gave you one of the most breathtaking smiles you had ever seen. "Your comfort is the most important thing to me. I'm sorry if I made you feel as if you had to reveal this before you were ready to."
You sighed, feeling silly again. "You always know what to say, don't you?" With a little shrug of your shoulders, Vash moved his hands, and your jacket fell onto the sandy ground. You tried to match Vash's smile, though yours was a bit more forced.
"Can I touch your arms?" Vash asked, his thumbs rubbing idly on your shoulders.
You answered Vash in a small voice. "Yeah, that's fine."
With hesitant movements, Vash slowly smoothed his hands down your arms, his smile never faltering. "I'm surprised, you're more muscular than I thought you'd be." Vash commented, his fingers barley ghosting over the prominent scars.
"Hmf, I coulda said the same about you. You look real lanky until your jacket comes off." You tugged on the front of Vash's red jacket, wanting to busy your hands.
"Yeah, you aren't the first person to tell me that." Vash said, his hands stopping at your elbows. "Now... I think maybe it's time we actually start our date. Here, I'll grab your jacket-"
"No, it's... it's okay." You smiled hesitantly, grabbing your jacket up off of the ground. "I... I think I'll just hold it. I mean, it is hot out..."
Vash hummed. "It is, isn't it?" His hands quickly found the buttons on his jacket, undoing them swiftly. "I think you might have the right idea."
"Vash, you don't have to do that." Despite your words, you smiled as Vash's jacket was removed, revealing a bit more of his toned body to you.
"I don't, but I also don't feel like sweating right now. Plus, I don't see anyone getting handsy with their guns here, so I think I'm fine. Now," Vash draped an arm over your shoulder. "Shall we go inside?"
You chuckled, leaning your head against the side of his chest. "Yeah. I hope they have some good food, here."
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