#and it’s crazy because i’ve been heavily reassured on this but it’s something that’s so incredibly hard to work through

[psychoticscare]

.

[crow-raven-crow]

Can you write a Larissa Weems OS where Reader was looking after a bunch of kids and when she wanted to talk to a misbehaving child they run away so she grabs them and sets them on a table to taln to the kid eye to eye the kud kicks against the bench before the table and it falls on the readers foot. Larissa comes in with the mom of the kids, because the mom is Larissa's friend Reader offered to watch the kids, to see Reader holding back tears and a quickly swelling foot takes her to the doctor and they find out the toe is broken and Larissa comforts the Reader (that is an actual thing that happened to me on monday and I'm craving some comfort from Larissa) but write it only if it's ok for you

𝐌𝐲 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐜𝐡

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭

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𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: description of pain, broken bones, crying, emotional tightness (holding it in), rapid thoughts, FLUFF

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: see ask above

masterlist

AO3 link in title

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𝐚/𝐧: Hey Crimson! Ty for the ask - i think this is actually a really cute idea.

HOWEVER

I’m so sorry that happened to you! That seems crazy, and I hope that your recovery goes smoothly!

I had to ask my friends and one of them thats in the med program here about breaking bones - what it feels like, what you’d get afterwards, etc - because I’ve actually never broken a bone before (HEAVILY knocking on wood rn). I tried to do this justice - i did change it sliggghhhtttlllyyy BUT I hope you enjoy!

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The rapid sounds of small, running footsteps and loud, excited screams filled your ears the closer you got to the little playground that was adjacent to the prestigious academy for outcasts. You had been a professor there for quite some time. Working with unique species and developing teenage brains every day surely gave you more tosses and turns than you expected to face when you had applied for the job some years ago, but you loved it regardless.

You pushed yourself to be someone for the students to feel comfortable reaching out towards and, in the process, created a home for yourself here with the help of the amazing principal (and now wife) Larissa Weems. You realized you fell hard for the woman after just a few months of working here - her captivating personality and kindness towards everyone made your heart swell after being enticed with the professional that could gain a rooms attention just by being present. Lucky, your company had given her butterflies as much as hers gave to you. You constantly helped each other get through the issues the growing minds threw at the both of you.. though, there was a part of you that always enjoyed the little ones.

In your spare time, you often found yourself at the daycare for outcasts that was right next to the school to give a helping hand. It was something that Larissa added when the population of outcasts grew larger. Being able to provide for this community was something you both held close to your heart, and there was a big part of you that was excited to have a child of your own. Seeing the little ones grow into their abilities was something you always found fascinating, but you always made sure to give them the most reassurance you could muster - the smaller ones often being confused and scared of something they didn’t understand quite yet.

You were lucky to find them at their playtime break outside. During this time of year, you always let out a soft chuckle when you saw the children wrapped in their winter coats and bundled up in their beanies and scarves their parents provided them - the puff of the fabrics making the children take up three times the space than they normally would. Seeing the little frosts or yeti children always concerned you at first glance in the winter - not needing such things due to their nature - but you soon got used to the sight the more you came here.

The main daycare teacher was standing next to the light post that lit the playground in a golden glow under the overcast sky. Her name was Olivia, and you’d grown closer to the younger woman the more you offered your help. She often stated how you were like an older sister to her - a thought that warmed your heart every time. She hugged her body close, the chill of the outside world going through her coat, and you couldn’t help but give a weak smile.

“Hey, Liv,” You said while wrapping your coat around the woman. “Is there anything I can help with today?”

“Y/N! Hi, thank you..” She tugged the thick coat closer to her body as she let out a shuddering breath. “We’re just staying warm, for now.. If you wanted, could you prepare some hot chocolate for when it’s time to head inside? I’m sure a lot of them will like the drink to warm up..”

You nodded and went to head into the building that stood behind her, but something caught your eye. A little lycan boy, who you immediately recognized as little Connor, was kicking and throwing wood chips in areas where other kids played. A small tsk left your mouth as you walked in his direction.

“Connnnoooorrrr?” You said with a playful lift in your voice. At the sound, he shot his gaze to you and screamed excitedly before bolting in a different direction. You decided it best to run after him, he was on a little mischievous streak after all.

“I got you, little one!” You boomed in a light tone. You didn’t want the kids to ever hold guilt for a situation but for them to understand what they were doing wrong, so you were always playful then serious when explaining, ensuring that they learned from their mistakes.

“Watch me make hot chocolate while we talk about why we don’t throw wood chips, hmm?” You picked him up as he agreed and wildly giggled, though a trouble maker, he was one of your favorites.

After helping him out of his coat, you settled him on the front table so you could look at each other at the same height. You didn’t want to intimidate him and wanted him to be honest with how he felt - it was the best move bringing him to your level.

You walked over to a cabinet to get some cups and chocolate mix. He watched your every move in genuine curiosity, your movements swift but not fast enough to disturb him. You walked back towards him, waiting for the liquid to warm before stopping in front of him.

“Now.. what do you think caused me to bring you in here, little wolf?” You watched him fidget slightly, refusing to answer for a moment. You took the moment to walk off and make him a cup of hot chocolate to warm up. While handing it to him, you spoke again.

“If I recall..” you started, offering him the small cup which he gladly accepted. “This is an issue we’ve had before, yes?”

“Yes, Ms.Weems,” he replied softly into his cup, his eyes moving to yours before his focus moved back to the drink.

“And what did we say the solution was, hmm?”

“If I want to do that with the wood chips then I should go off to the side where it won’t hit anyone..”

“That’s good, Connor. I’m glad you remembered that because we don’t want to have a repeat of-“

“But it wasn’t hitting anyone this time!! This time no one got hurt!!! Why can’t I keep doing it there!?!” The big outburst of energy from the small child caused a few things in close proximity to knock over with his quick feet and rapid moving arms. Some markers and a few plastic cups fell to the floor. The worst of it all was how his feet sent a chair down to the ground with a few large bangs that echoed throughout the room - the end of your foot breaking most of the fall…

The chair bounced off your foot and brought another wave of pain as it landed there again. At the first initial fall, a loud yelp left your lips as your eyes squeezed shut from the first wave of pain. You moved to catch yourself on a nearby desk as the chair settled itself on the floor. You felt tears begin to well up in your eyes before you could even process the severity of the situation.

Oh.. this certainly didn’t feel right.. You couldn’t bare to move your foot as an overwhelming warmth spread throughout your body - starting at the tip of your toes and quickly moving up to your head. Small waves of pain started there and made it hard to focus on anything else, making your body shudder as each one ran its course.

The sound of heels echoing down the hall registered in your mind, though the pain was so overwhelming that you didn’t give it your undivided attention or curiosity.

“It’s always so good to see you, Serenity. It’s lovely catching up with you. Let’s go ahead and grab little Connor, hmm? Right in here and- oh, y/n! Y/N?!” The beautiful accent filled your ears and eased the pain for what felt like seconds. Next thing you knew, the lovely woman was by your side softly rubbing your back. “My love, what happened?”

“Connor.. he-” you were cut off as another wave of pain vibrated through your body. She helped settle you on top of a desk and tried her best to get you to explain through the pain - every touch she gave was gentle and comforting, the love she held for you being transferred through her fingertips. Your throat burned as you attempted to get more words out, your breath running shorter by the second. “I-I don’t blame him- There.. was a little outburst but I understand why-”

Tears were now slipping from your eyes as the adrenaline slowly wore off - handing you the pain in tenfold as you held Larissa’s sleeves in a vice grip in attempt to ground yourself. Her eyes rapidly examined your face as she processed each of your words.

“Somethings broken..” You weakly managed to say, in between breaths.

Larissa, being the goddess she is, was able to handle the situation with a professional face - even if her insides were screaming at her to move and quickly get you to the hospital. She got the pair home and was able to update Olivia on the situation before helping you to the car. Her comfort never left you - a hand tracing patterns along your thigh and her angelic voice reminding you to breathe whenever your mind was too focused on the pain.

The trip to the hospital was a quick one - your wife becoming sick with worry after seeing you in so much pain caused her to make moves she wouldn’t normally make with a level head. By the time they had run all their tests and fully taken care of you, the sun had left the sky, causing the overcast atmosphere to run completely black.

Larissa walked into your room with an empathetic frown on her face. The sight of you in the hospital bed asleep with your foot elevated in a cast brought a spike of pain to her heart as she settled herself next to you. She brought your hand to her lips and kissed each of your knuckles.

“You really are something, Y/n..” She whispered, a small chuckle leaving her mouth.

You awoke a few moments later to a nice tingling feeling dancing patterns along your arm. As your eyes opened and took in the environment around you, your heart swelled as your eyes met captivating sapphire ones - you wife absentmindedly scratching along your forearm softly.

“Riss..?” You croaked out, your throat slightly dry form being out for so long. You attempted to sit up more, only to be met with a firm hand pushing you back down. You allowed the bed under you to capture your full weight as you watched your lovely wife grab a water bottle from beside her. She lifted it to your lips gently, waiting for you to drink, with her hand held out underneath to catch any water that would happen to slip from you.

“The doctor said we could go home whenever you woke, but I don’t want to leave here until you’re fully awake and ready, okay? One of your toes ended up breaking, so you’re going to have a cast for about four weeks, my love..” She brought the water down, after it seemed you had enough, as she answered all your unasked questions. “A crutch was given to you to refrain from putting too much weight on it.. and it’s advised to keep your foot elevated as much as you can..”

You threw your head back and let out a frustrated groan as the reality of the situation fully processed itself in your brain. “Can I go back to teaching though?” You asked, your voice laced with a bit of sadness because you didn’t want to set aside your passion for too long.

This caused the tall blonde to let out a loud laugh, you following in suit because you could never deny the bubbly feeling that rumbled in your chest every time you were able to make the sound come from your lover. She brought a hand up to stroke your cheek softly, your body naturally leaning into her touch.

“As your wife.. I’d appreciate if you took at least a few days off. As your boss, though.. I am making you take a few days off.” She said, laughing at her own comment. This was a little game she liked to play every so often and it never failed to make a smile grace your features. You loved how much she cared for you, and this little move was something you did to each other much more at the beginning of your relationship but said every now and then still.

After a while, you were ready to go home, ultimately just wanting to cuddle up with the sapphire beauty under some blankets and relish in each others company. Adjusting to the crutch was definately something that you would have to get used to, something your wife tried to hide her laugh at. The bruises from catching yourself so hard were making themselves known, after a while - something Larissa couldn’t help but notice.

Your determination brought you out of the room and far down the hall before you had to stop and allow your body to catch up. Just as you were about to start again, you felt two strong hands at your waist move to your upper back and your knees. Letting out a small yelp as you were lifted into the air, you looked back only to be met with your wife’s confident smirk being thrown back at you.

“Having some trouble?” She asked, the mirth laced in her tone caused you to let out a laugh.

“You know I had it.. but thank you, love..” You replied, nuzzling your face into the crook of her neck. With every breath you took, you inhaled more of her scent - the vanilla and rose making a warmth settle in your chest and a small blush sit on your cheeks. You truly would never grow tired of this.

“We can practice more as the weekend comes..” She said as you felt her strong strides make their way towards the outside of the hospital.

“I don’t know..” You said with a playful tone. “I could get used to this~ You could be my crutch,” you added with a giggle. The small comment made the blonde chuckle and look down at you. There was nothing but love and adoration in her eyes, and it never failed to give you butterflies.

You leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek and kissed along her jaw to place an ending one on her lips, appreciating the light lipstick stains they left in their tracks. You settled back into the crook of her neck as exhaustion from the day was finally catching up to you.

“I love you, Riss.” You said as your eyes fluttered shut softly.

“I love you too, my darling girl.. Now, lets get you home.”

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𝐚/𝐧: hi everyone :)

I haven't been on my socials as much because I just finished my first week back at college (YAY FOUR DAY WEEKEND - i have no friday classes cuz my schedule worked out) so I'm still slightly adjusting

BUT!

I spend some of my free time trying to write so when I saw this ask I was ONE honored !! like guys this is my first ask this was so cute ! I hope you guys liked it ! and TWO i started on it right when I saw it. It's nice to get a little break form my other writing to get some more creativity flowing

I'll be on here and my other socials more on weekends since I don't have classes, but since this is a passion it won't be strictly weekends lmao. ill be floating arounnnnnndddd

I hope you enjoyed this one! I'll be changing my page around a bit after I post this so it's on my pinned :)

~ 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐯𝐲𝐧

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𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: (tagged anyone who asked/wanted to be on the "all works" taglist)

@eveymay

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[marypsue]

for the ask game: 10, 11

+ 76 with the hawkins indiana psychic baby boom series. i know it's not done yet, but anything that didn't make into the first two parts and won't fit into/make sense in the 3rd one either?

love the way you write xx

[from this meme]

I've done 10, but I'll gladly do the other two! (And thank you very much!)

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

Ooh, that's a hard one. Like I said, I have a list that I need to get caught up on. I'm liking the 'right now' on this very much, though. It's doing some heavy lifting.

I've already mentioned @maddie-grove's Tonight, Tonight, The Highway's Bright, so for three other ongoing fics, I'm going to plug Wavelength, by @bixxelated (Stranger Things season 1 AU where Mike also has psychic abilities) because it's so much fun, and there is a bigger mystery unfolding than I've been able to see the full shape of yet, i bet you think about me by @rocketnebulas (Stranger Things, Steve/Jonathan, they broke up but still share a Spotify account AU) because I just love the way this author writes romantic relationships, and A Stumble by @definitely-not-a-bug (Stranger Things, post-season 1 - season 2 AU where El got caught when she went back to Mike's house after the events of season 1, and it changes everything and nothing) because the character work in that one is just killing me and it's frankly criminal how little attention it's gotten.

76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of the Hawkins, Indiana psychic baby boom?

There's actually a scene I've been sitting on that I cut from part 2 because trying to make it fit was making the story drag! I was hoping to shoehorn it in somewhere in part 3, but the more I write, the less it seems to fit what's going on between the characters at this point in time, so it very well might just end up on the cutting room floor.

...

“So, tell me. When the Brain says ‘if you need anything at all’, does that include help digging up a pumpkin patch by hand?”

Joyce sighs, jabbing the point of her shovel into the dirt and leaning heavily against the handle. “Why do you have such a problem with him? And don’t try to tell me it’s just that he’s too good to be true, again.”

Whatever answer she’s hoping for – and even she’s not sure – she doesn’t get it. Hopper just goes back to throwing shovelsful of dirt out of the steadily-growing hole at their feet and doesn’t meet her eyes.

“I worry about you,” he says, finally, to the dirt.

“Worry about - ! Hop, he’s the biggest sweetheart I’ve ever met. Nothing at all like -” Joyce bites off her own sentence. “Honestly, sometimes I wonder what it would even take to make him get really angry.” Honestly, sometimes, some perverse part of her wants to push. Wants to be cruel enough to find out.

Even thinking it, trying to put it into words, just makes it sound crazy even to Joyce. God, what is wrong with her. Bob’s seemingly endless reserves of calm patience should be reassuring, not anxiety-inducing.

Joyce just – she doesn’t know where his limits are. Doesn’t know if maybe she’s already found them. She’s fallen for one lying, manipulative sonuvabitch already. The more helpful and understanding Bob tries to be with each new thing Joyce has to put him through, the worse the nagging worry gets. That maybe he’s putting on a friendly face to get something out of her. Or quietly stewing over the best way to hurt her back for something Joyce didn’t even realise she’d done. That maybe it’s all about to blow up in her face –

That sounds paranoid. It sounds paranoid, and Joyce knows that’s not what Bob’s like. She trusts him, he’s never given any sign that he’s anything other than exactly what he seems to be, anything other than genuinely kind. It’s just –

Sometimes, she just doesn’t know what he’s thinking.

If only he’d blow his top every once in a while, draw a hard line of how much more he’ll put up with, maybe then Joyce would be able to tell where she stands.

“That wasn’t what -” Hopper huffs out a sigh, resting a foot on the head of the shovel and leaning against the handle as he looks Joyce in the face. “You got him right in the middle of everything. Keeping him in the dark’s gotta be a full-time job. Especially right now.”

“That’s why I don’t want to, anymore,” Joyce says. That’s part of the truth, anyway. “He’s part of my life, now. I – I want him to be a part of my life.”

[hiighvibez]

worthless

what hurt me the most in the relationship I had was not even the abuse. The way he wasn’t consistent anymore and stopped liking me and being attracted to me as in the beginning hurt me the most. He was crazy about me, he saved all my pictures, he adored me and not just my body but me, he could compliment me endlessly and told me things he liked about me as in my personality traits or things that I was good in, we would make out almost every day and every time it was like he couldn’t get enough of me and he made me feel special, he would wake me up with breakfast or he cared about my diet because of my health issues, he got scared when my epilepsy was triggered, he bombed me with compliments when I looked good, he could talk endlessly about how much it hurt him that he missed me, he sent poetry, he was interested in the things I liked, he liked all my memes and videos I sent him, he followed me everywhere and liked all my stuff, he forced me to talk about my feelings when something wasn’t right knowing that I found it hard to express it and talk about it because no one has ever shown interest in them, he respected me and my body, he reassured me, he went out with me and showed me off at places, we slept together, we showered together, he took care of me when I got my period, he bought me flowers, he laughed with me, we played games on our phones, he could make me nervous any time, he got excited to see me, he hugged me any chance he had, we could spend hours of talking without getting bored of eachother, we went to church together, he shared me his knowledge about anything, he helped me through tough times, he took care of me in general, he communicated with me when I wasn’t there with him, we cuddled and talked about our problems like that and he showed love. Meanwhile little did I know that he was cheating since the beginning.

I am not the best or the perfect girlfriend. I have alot of flaws and living with a mental disorder affecting my brain heavily doesn’t make everything easy for me. I haven’t been able to communicate with him about my feelings or emotions in the right way. I’ve had some slips where I couldn’t handle it anymore and burst out full of emotions. Most of the time I sat quiet, rolled a joint, put some music on to distract my thoughts and I went on with my day/night. He was there to notice but I told him I needed distraction. Sometimes I was overthinking about him, sometimes about myself but I always felt something was going on and I was waiting for the fuckening to happen. He promised me to never hurt me on purpose and he would try his best to accomplish that. I have been a difficult person, difficult to be understood, difficult to date and difficult to deal with. I did try, I tried my best to keep myself under control, I tried to show love as well, just like he did. I struggled alot because my mistakes were bothering him alot. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right and all the words that came out of his mouth made me feel worthless. I spiraled down in a loophole and couldn’t get out. I tried ADHD medications, I tried hormone supplements, I tried journaling, I tried to talk eventually but nothing helped. I lacked in so many things that I started to feel guilty and unworthy of his love and attention, his obsession towards me. I couldn’t dance, I couldn’t go out because of my anxiety, he didn’t let me buy presents, I couldn’t listen for a long time, I was inexperienced in alot of things… I got tired. The more I got tired the bigger the arguments started to become. I know that all of these things above about me are negative and that doesn’t mean that I haven’t done anything at all compared to him. Just like he showered me with the love I never got from anyone, I tried my best to love him as well. I was crazy about him and I always let him know. I said that I liked him and loved him daily, I tried to do things at home so that he could rest after work, I waited for him with patience and I did groceries, I adored him, his face, his personality, his jokes, his style, his intelligence, his laugh, his warmth, I tried to cook even though I was insecure because of culture and the fact that he was better than me, I watched his shows, I stayed up with him, I made sure that he knew that I needed him even though I didn’t, I shared everything about myself with him, I tried to be pretty for him (and myself), I took care of myself so that he would be proud to show me off, I gave up my belief to get closer to him and to find peace for my mental health and that was all because of him. I was scared at first and I didn’t feel like I had a home and he was there since the beginning of my journey. I traveled for him, I moved in with him, I tried to cut my addictions for him, I tried to show interest in his hobbies and things he liked, I wrote him my favorite poets, I left little cute things in his house that he could find and keep, I always let him know how much I loved him and trusted him, how I wanted to stay close to him and not leave, I shared my culture with him as well even though he knew alot of things already, I tried to learn more about his, I always hugged him every chance I got, I cared for him, I was gentle, I was quiet unless he made me talk, I tried to be helpful, I accepted him and his past, I loved his flaws even though some of them annoyed me alot, I loved his skills in everything especially the things that I couldn’t do and I always let him know that, he was amazing, perfect in my eyes, I got obsessed as well, I tried to take notes of his moods, his way of being angry, I observed his needs, his irritabilities, his tics, the way he handled things, and alot more. I wrote them down to figure out what would be the best way to deal with him. It took me very long but I kept trying. I tried to protect him from things I was dealing with so he wouldn’t stop liking me, he wouldn’t feel pressed by my problems and he wouldn’t feel stressed.

So you see, I feel like he did do alot more than I did. Maybe I am bad at showing him love. Maybe I wasn’t there enough. Maybe I should’ve tried harder. Maybe it was just not meant to be.

The cheating didn’t really “just happen” though. It was there all along, even when we started dating. I never had a clue. I knew I got jealous sometimes and tried to FBI things out but I got the right reassurance to make my head stop overthinking. I believed him, even though I have seen some things a few times. Until I busted him forreal. I have cried so much, I felt betrayed. My partner was not faithful and the worst part was, was that he was doing alot of the things he did to me, to other girls as well. Complimenting, hyping up, saving pictures, sexting, actively caring about others, flirting, sharing memes, playing games, sharing interests with other people, listening to them, making them feel special… and so on. We had alot of arguments before I busted him. It got alot worse end august. Sometimes I would feel so worthless and so depressed because of all my emotions, I couldn’t handle it anymore. He wasn’t patient with me anymore and I had ti fight for him to be patient, to make him understand me, my side. He did not show any effort, or it seemed to be. He begged me to stop my splits because in the end I went feral. I got triggered so much, I lost control. After I busted him, I broke up with him. I had no choice, I didn’t believe anything anymore. He kept telling me that nothing was fake and he really loved me, he was really sorry about everything. But since then, I couldn’t love him the same anymore.

More arguments, heavier arguments, mental and physical abuse towards each other, no trust… Everything went downhill financially, mental health and between us. I am not the same person as how I was in the beginning of this relationship. I don’t believe in compliments anymore, I don’t believe in reassurance anymore, I am convinced that everyone will leave me, that I am a difficult person and that no one would want to put up with me, I am scared and full of anxiety every minute, I cannot sleep anymore. I can’t build on people anymore. I have TRIED to fix myself I have TRIED to be better even after I caught him, but I got worse. I wasn’t crazy about him anymore; I got crazy because of him. I worried about everything, my gut instincts were working 24/7, I got depressed, even more depressed that the beginning, I got mad alot because I just didn’t trust anything. I couldn’t heal. But most important of all; after I caught him, he stopped doing alot of the things I mentioned here in the beginning. The consistency was gone, his craziness about me was gone, physically we were interacting less with eachother, I wasn’t shown off anymore, I got excluded, I felt abandoned, I felt lonely, I felt like I was there for no reason. He got bored of me, my body, my flaws, my personality, everything. And even when he started complimenting me, I knew I wasn’t the only one. That’s what my mind was telling me. I didn’t feel special anymore. It was harder for me to show love to someone I didn’t believe. I started feeling guilty. Because in reality I was still crazy about him and I loved him with all my heart. I hated that about myself, whatever he did it didn’t matter. I kept coming back for us to be better than we were in the beginning but everytime I did that, it went wrong. I kept complaining about girls and lately I turned out to be right again. He never stopped cheating. I’ve been beaten physically for my behavior just to turn out to be right. And again, I’m back to square one, living in his shadows. I am crying every day and I miss him. I miss us. I feel misunderstood and I wish I never got like this, I wish I could heal faster, I wish I never stressed him out, I wish I could’ve controlled myself, I am so hurt, I do not recognize myself anymore. This is not me, not how I’m used to be. He doesn’t care about it, because I lost control and hurt him as well. He doesn’t seem to understand how bad he hurts me everyday, how badly he talks to me, belittles me, degrades me, make me feel insecure and insane, and to be honest, I have hurt him severely in my splits, I have hurt him so many times when I got mad, do I even have the rights to be vocal about my feelings still? I don’t think so. I have fucked it up myself apart from his mistakes and the way he treated me. If I didn’t went all crazy, I could’ve talked about it. I could’ve begged him to love me forreal this time. I yearn for it, so much that it hurts. I wanted to love him and I wanted him to really notice me, I wanted to learn to accept love and love him. I wanted love. Only from him.

But I guess love doesnt exist.

[jordanprice]

June 7 - Mt. Takao

Happy birthday to Vishnu! He’s been a great roommate to me and is such a nice guy. I’m happy to have him around on this trip and am proud to say I got to be the first to wish him a happy birthday!! Best wishes brother <3

Today we visited Mt. Takao to hike it. The train ride there was pretty long, but not terrible and I’d say it was worth it for sure. Upon getting there, we had time to eat. Lauren, Bianca, and I got food and I tried katsu don (fried pork cutlet on top of rice). The pork wasn’t the best to be honest, and it was overcooked. But the rice definitely made up for it, as it was probably the best I’ve had so far on the trip. We then also got ice cream, which was pretty good.

Then, we took the chair lift up the mountain. It was a pretty long ride up, but I enjoyed it and the view. I sat with Lauren, and she is afraid of heights, so I made sure to reassure her on the way up. She did a great job and they had a safety platform built up under the lift, which was really nice and helped make it less frightening for her.

Once we got off the lift, we stopped for a couple pics, and the group had already left us behind. So, Lauren, Bianca, and I just did the hike alone. It was actually pretty nice as we got to take our time, stop where we wanted, and take time for pictures. The way up was a lot of stairs, but I didn’t mind. We eventually made our way up to the temple and the shrine, which were quite cool, then we continued up towards the peak. We did run into the group on their way back down, and fortunately professor Smith was able to catch us up on things.

Once we made it to the top, we stopped for pictures and headed back down. On the way down, they announced that they were closing down the chair lift at 4:30 and it was 4:23 at the time. We did not feel like doing the 40 min walk back down, so we hurried to get to the lift on time and fortunately were able to. The view on the way back down was even better than the one on the way up, so we take those.

We then went to a vegan restaurant for dinner and I got tomato soup, French fries, and tortilla chips. The soup was really good, and I was interested as to the fact that it had cabbage in it, which is something I’ve never seen in tomato soup. The fries weren’t the best, but the one sauce they came with went crazy. The only way I can explain it is if ketchup and salsa had a baby. It was actually so so good and it went well both with the fries as ketchup and with the chips as salsa. I was very impressed. The tortilla chips were very fresh, but the salsa they came with wasn’t my favorite.

After that, Lauren has been wanting to go to this one bar called Bar Lupin. This is because it was a place where famous authors would visit. I’m glad she got to see it at least, but I feel bad for her because they didn’t have enough seats for us and turned us away.

I had a pretty rough night last night, and was worried about today, but I had a great time overall and things improved throughout the day.

Academic Reflection

Today I learned about Mt. Takao and its forests. I learned that people didn’t really live up on the mountain except for some monks. People also believed that tengu (goblins) resided there. Since the surrounding areas were so densely populated, and since the mountain has many trees, people turned to it for lumber. The poor needed it for fuel and the rich needed it for castles and other buildings. The demand for wood was high, so people started taking it. The daimyo claimed plots of trees for their own usage, but peasants still would chip away more and more at the borders of the land.

There have been preservation efforts since then, and going today I wouldn’t have known it had been so heavily used for its wood. It was cool to see statues of the tengu thought to live there, and I also really liked the trees that were deemed to be spirits. Honestly though, I don’t know why some of the trees in particular were said to be sprits while others were not. Either way, it was a beautiful place to visit and I am glad it is now seemingly well regulated.

[autisticlancemcclain]

It Might Be Crazy But It Ain’t No Lie, Baby (Bi Bi Bi)

Keith/Lance (Voltron), Gen-tron, 2401 words, Fluff

Summary: Four times Lance came out with a pun, and one time he wishes he did.

—

“New York would be rubble if it weren’t for Spider-Man! Sure, Daredevil’s helpful, but in the grand scheme of things -”

“Spider-Man is a child and a baby who doesn’t know how anything works and needs so much help -”

“Spider-Man is literally the strongest superhuman are you dumb-”

“ Strongest superhuman?! Are you forgetting that Captain Marvel exists-”

“I’m kind of like Spider-Man,” Lance interrupted calmly, twirling his pasta onto his fork. Everyone stopped to look at him questioningly. “Only, instead of swinging from a web,” he paused, grinning roguishly. “I swing both ways.” Veronica choked, having accidentally snorted her water up her nose. Luis and Lance’s father lost it, laughing loudly. Marco sat down heavily in his chair with a loud sigh. Rachel thumped Veronica on her back, giggling. Lance’s mother pinched the bridge of her nose, smiling exasperatedly.

“Leandro,” she said, “We love you, and we accept you. But please. Please do not ever make a pun that bad again.”

—

Hunk knew he was going to regret staying up this late come morning, but he couldn’t bring himself to go to sleep. He and Lance may have just met at the beginning of the school year, but they just clicked. It felt like they had been friends their whole lives.

“I dunno,” Hunk was saying, “I feel like I do want to date someone eventually. I mean, my moms are in love and they’re happy. But I haven’t really had a major crush yet? People talk about the butterflies in their stomach all the time, but I’ve just never felt it. I think I would like to fall in love with someone, though. Someday.” Lance was nodding along.

“I mean, I don’t get exactly what you mean. ‘Cause I’ve had tons of crushes before. Probably, like, a million or something. But, somehow, I’ve never dated anyone.” He huffed dramatically, collapsing back onto his bed. Hunk grinned at him, amused by his antics.

“Aw, buddy. Don’t lose hope. You won’t be single forever.” He reassured. Lance sighed, sitting up again to look at Hunk.

“I know, I mean, I can’t believe there are so many hot people but -” he paused, a wicked grin lighting up his whole face. He dove over to his nightstand, digging around in his bedside drawer. Hunk jumped at his sudden movement, but he was getting used to Lance’s particular brand of melodrama, and leaned back into his pillows to wait for Lance to finish his thought. There was a small noise of success as Lance found whatever he was looking for. He put something on his face, but he was angled so Hunk couldn’t see him properly.

“I can’t believe there are so many hot people out there,” he repeated, “but I’m still -” he whipped around, fully facing Hunk. There was a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses on his face, the lenses coloured with the bisexual flag. “All bi myself!” He finished, wiggling his eyebrows. Hunk blinked at him slowly, processing the pun, before bursting into giggles. Lance laughed right along with him.

“Lance,” he wheezed, “That was the worst pun I’ve ever heard.” Lance grinned at him.

“Oh, just you wait, buddy,” he said, “Stick with me, and there will be lots more where that came from.”

—

Pidge was sitting on one of the rare clear patches on the floor of her room, sorting a bucket of stuff into piles of ‘keep’ and ‘go’. Allura had finally gotten fed up, and ordered Pidge to clean her room at least a little, because the level of mess was stressing her out just thinking about it. Pidge complained endlessly, but honestly had to agree, if only in her head. It was getting difficult to move around, and the main reason she hadn’t started herself was because she didn’t know where to start. That, and she kind of hated organising - sue her, she had better things to do. Luckily for her, Lance loved organising shit - something about how it ‘immediately releases dopamine in my dumbass ADHD brain’. Whatever floats his boat, honestly, she thought, because I don’t really want to tackle this dragon den all on my own. Pidge pauses her musing for a moment to realise she hasn’t heard Lance move in a while. She looks up, seeing him standing halfway in her closet with a dumbass, mischevious smile on his face. She wonders how long he’s been standing like that, waiting for her to notice. She squints at him for several moments.

“Lance,” she finally asks, “Why are you standing in the doorway of my closet?” Lance’s shit-eating grin gets wider, somehow.

“In, out, I can’t pick a side,” he replies, pausing for dramatic effect. Pidge thinks she can guess where he’s going, and sighs, pursing her lips and staring forlornly at the wall in front of her, wondering how it all came to this. Lance does not let this affect him and continues: “Just like my sexuality.” Pidge sighs again, harder. Lance starts giggling, and she can’t quite fight the smile off her face.

“I set myself up for that one,” she says, and starts giggling along with him.

—

In a rare moment of free time, Shiro makes his way to the lounge with a book in his hands. He had just politely escaped one of Coran’s long and exaggerated stories about the ‘glory days’ - he had asked for a way to translate one of the novels in the library, and got way more than he bargained for. No matter , he thought, I have the translator, a seemingly decent book, and a few hours to kill on the most comfortable couch in the common room. He walked through the door, immediately seeing Lance sprawled on the loveseat, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey, Lance,” he greeted, making his way over to the blue couch. Lance startled, nearly falling off his seat. Shiro smiled.

“H-Hey, Shiro!” he yelled. They both winced. “Sorry,” Lance apologised at a much lower volume. “Noise control.” He smiled, then went back to staring at the ceiling. Shiro followed his gaze, and realised there was some sort of muted television he was looking at, playing... a cartoon? Maybe? Shiro squinted up at the ceiling, but decided to drop it. Altean things were often very strange, and he didn’t want to spend his free time pondering it all. Not when he could read. He dove right into his book, excited to be able to do something so mundane like reading again. Half an hour later, he was less enthused. The book, unfortunately, was boring - way too much exposition, not enough cool things happening. Nonetheless, Shiro was determined to finish. He came out here to have a relaxing time reading, dammit, and by God was he going to finish the stupid book.

“Hey, Shiro,” Lance spoke up, not looking away from the weird T.V. Shiro, quietly glad for the distraction, looked up from his book.

“Yes, Lance?”

“How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?” Lance asked. Shiro tilted his head in confusion, squinting at Lance.

“What?” Lance’s mouth was twitching.

“Ten tickles,” he said. It took Shiro a moment to figure out what the hell Lance was talking about, but then he got it. He let out a small chuckle, rolling his eyes.

“Ha-ha,” he said. “Good one.”

“Hey, Shiro,” Lance said again. Shiro sighed.

“Yes, Lance.” This time, Lance could not fully wipe the smile off his face.

“What did the grape say when it was being crushed?”

“What.”

“Nothing,” Lance grinned wider, “It just let out a little wine.” There was silence, Lance’s giggles the only sound in the room. Eventually, Shiro exhaled heavily, trying not to give in.

“Dear God, that one was somehow worse.” Lance was fully laughing now; he could barely get his next words out.

“H-hey, Shiro,” he tried, but Shiro interrupted him.

“Lance, buddy, I love you, but if you tell me one more pun I am going to lose it.” Lance doubled over laughing, arms clutching his stomach, face turning red. Shiro couldn’t help it anymore - he grinned. As dumb as the puns were, it was good to see the kid so happy.

“But Shiro,” Lance protested. He sat properly in his chair, turning to face Shiro fully. He smirked. “Puns are in my bi ology.” Shiro groaned, putting his head in his hands. Lance cackled.

“God, kiddo,” he complained, “That might have been the worst one yet.” But he was smiling, and Lance was laughing, and he couldn’t really be that annoyed. Maybe he didn’t get to finish the stupid book, but he definitely felt like he put his time off to good use.

—

All the paladins were in the training room, trying to get a handle on their hand-to-hand. Well, Pidge, Hunk, and Lance were there to try to improve - Shiro and Keith were mostly there to help out and show off a little. Shiro had just run the Garrison Trio through a few dozen drills, and was letting them take a quick break to hydrate and catch their breath. He was making a quick errand up to the observation deck with Allura to prepare some more drills, while Keith was letting out some pent-up aggression by being attacked by three gladiator-bots at once. He did not seem to be struggling. Hunk was sitting leaned against the wall, Pidge was laying spread-eagle on the ground, and Lance was leaning against a support beam, pretending he was not watching Keith.

He was fooling no one.

Keith kicked one of the bots so hard it slammed into the wall, down for the count. The other two converged on him together, so he crouched down and swept his leg into theirs, sending them tumbling. They weren’t down long, but they didn’t need to be - by the time one got up and aimed a right hook at Keith’s face, he had powered up his bayard and was already swinging. He cut the bot’s arm clean off, then cut the whole bot in half. Lance swallowed heavily, feeling like he should avert his eyes, and then feeling dumb for thinking that. He watched on. Finally there was one bot left, and it seemed to be a little more resilient than the others. Lance leaned closer to the fight (massacre, really - the poor bots didn’t stand a chance), barely holding on to the support beam to keep himself upright. He did not seem to notice how close he was to falling over. Pidge and Hunk did, however, notice, and were grinning at each other in anticipation. Anticipation for what, they didn't really know, but they felt Lance’s impending embarrassment in the air and were visibly excited about it. The bot had landed a few hard hits on Keith, and managed to disarm him - but Keith did not let this deter him. He feinted to the left, ran around the bot and to the wall, then used his momentum to flip off the wall, twist in the air, and land on the bot’s shoulders with his legs around the bot’s head. He tightened his thighs and then wrenched his body to one side with all his strength - tearing the bot’s head off its body with his legs alone. Lance squeaked and finally lost his balance, windmilling his arms to no avail. He tumbled to the ground in a heap of hormones and humiliation. Keith whipped around to see where the sound came from, loose hair escaping from his ponytail and sticking to his sweaty forehead. He saw Lance sprawled on the ground with a very red cheeks, and Pidge and Hunk cackling.

“Lance,” he called, “You good?”

“I’M BISEXUAL!” Lance blurted, and then his face, ears, and neck went as fire-truck red as his cheeks. Pidge and Hunk positively howled with mirth, leaning against each other like they could no longer support their own weight. Up in the observation deck, Shiro closed his eyes and sighed, deeply and heavily, shaking his head. Allura hid her giggles in her hand. Shiro scrubbed a hand down his face, a small smile betraying his amusement.

“ Jesus Christ ,” he muttered. “That was worse than the pun.”

Back down on the training deck, Keith looked at Lance with bewilderment. Lance seemed to get redder. Keith was mildly surprised that was possible. He looked at his friends - one who looked like he was going to combust from mortification, and two who were laughing so hard they were literally struggling to breathe.

“You know what,” he said slowly, “I’m just going to let this one go. Thank you for telling me, Lance.” Lance covered his face with his hands, groaning. Keith smirked. He wasn’t entirely sure why Lance was so embarrassed, but he knew that he was at least part of the reason, and he thought that was pretty funny. He stepped over Lance and around Hunk and Pidge, heading over to the mini-fridge thing where all the water was kept. He grabbed two pouches, and walked back over to Lance. He nudged him with his foot. “Scoot over, I want to sit down.” Lance moved to sit up, but did not remove his hands from his burning face. Keith sat down beside him, nudging him again. “Here,” he said, holding out a water pouch. Lance peeked at Keith from behind his fingers, finally dropping his hands from his face to grab the offered water. He let out a small, close-lipped smile, face still crimson.

“Thanks,” he muttered, poking the straw in the little hole and bringing it up to his mouth to take a drink. Keith side eyed him.

“I’m gay, by the way,” he informed him. Lance choked. Keith thumped him on the back, which did not seem to help. If anything, his lingering contact seemed to make Lance’s blush worse. Keith was confused for a second, but then it clicked. Oh , he thought, his grin turning devilish. I see. He moved his hand off Lance’s back, his brain whirring. Lance thought Keith was hot, huh?

He could work with that.

[v-hope]

Brat, 8:47PM — Belong

Taehyung’s eyes travelled from the phone in his hand to the door the second he heard it being unlocked by you. Nevertheless, it remained closed — your rather fast steps being heard as he supposed you made it to the other side of the bedroom.

Standing there, he stared at the door for a few seconds. Although he had been very demanding only seconds ago when it came to you letting him in so he could properly check up on you, now that the lock was no longer stopping him from getting to you, he couldn’t help but hesitate. After all, what was he supposed to do now? Go in, of course, but then what? He didn’t know what to say to begin with. He had just acted out of instinct. Your parents were raising their voices at you, you were crying… the obvious thing to do was for him to rush over to you and tell them off, right?

It had all happened so fast. One second he was in his studio talking to Jimin over text messages, and the next one he was next to you telling your parents to leave his place, for they were not welcome if they were there to mistreat you. They had told him off as well, of course, and maybe he should be scared or at least a little bit worried over his career now that one of the most powerful families in Korea was against him, but, for some reason, he did not care. He was just glad they were gone and you no longer had to listen to their judgemental remarks and harsh voices.

Biting down on his bottom lip as he realised he could do nothing but go inside the room now, he decided to do just that for once and for all. The sight in front of him only increasing his concern.

You rushed from one place of the room to another — open luggage on your bed as you rushedly tried to fold your clothes, yet ended up just messily throwing them inside, as your hands were visibly shaking and you couldn’t manage to properly hold anything in them. That wasn’t what had worried him the most, though, but the way your eyes were welled up with tears and seemed lost, in a way he had never seen before.

“Let me help you” Taehyung managed to blurt out as you struggled with yet another blouse to fold.

You said nothing. Didn’t even look at him. It was as if you were too deep inside your own thoughts to even hear him — only realising he had indeed opened the door and was already in the room with you once he rushed towards you and tried to grab the piece of clothing from your trembling hands.

“I got this” you shook your head, hugging the light fabric to your chest.

“Let me help” he repeated what you had apparently not heard before, tightening his hold onto the blouse.

Nevertheless, you shook your head no again, pulling it tighter against your body.

“I’ve got this” you reassured him.

“You don’t, Y/N…” he replied softly, almost as if trying to soothe you with his voice alone.

The way he looked at you right then, with those chocolate eyes of him visibly softening at the sight of you… you hated it. He stared at you with an expression you had never seen on him before, not while looking at you. And you didn’t know whether it was pity or concern, but you could tell he truly cared. Just like he had admitted over text messages and you had not believed him, for some weird reason, he cared.

And that simple realisation made you finally break down in front of him.

No longer being able to look him in the eye, you let go of the blouse he was holding as well and lowered your head, finally letting the tears that you had managed to control only one minute ago fall all over again — the ones you’ve had so much trouble trying to conceal ever since your parents had started pointing out every single aspect of your life they considered to be a complete failure.

Taehyung was right. You did not have it under control. None of it. Not the packing, not your life. Especially not your life.

Everything was a mess. Your life was a complete fiasco. You were doing it all wrong. And the funniest part was that everything your parents had judged about what they were seeing in Tae’s apartment —which was way too small, among other things, according to them— was not even real anymore. If they knew you had moved out to Hobi’s a few weeks ago now, and that his place was even smaller than Taehyung’s, they would’ve taken you right back home with them like they had just tried to do only minutes ago.

You weren’t doing well enough for them to let you live away from them and their rules, and you didn’t know if you ever would be able to live up to their expectations, whether it was back home with them or trying to make a living on your own.

You weren’t earning enough money to live the life you were used to. You weren’t keeping up with your public image the way you were supposed to. You were hardly ever spending time with Sungjin to make everyone believe you guys were together. And so, you could no longer stay strong like you had tried to for so long, for in that moment, in that very moment, you truly believed your parents were right.

Covering your face with both your hands, you sat down on the edge of the bed as you let the first sob come out of your mouth. After that, there was no stopping — sob after sob being heard through the room, each of them louder and more heartbroken than the first.

Taehyung stood there almost frozen, not knowing what to do at all. He had never been good when it came to comforting people, and the fact that it was you the one breaking down right in front of him only made it so much worse. Did you want space? Did you want words of encouragement? A hug, maybe? God, he had no idea how to deal with you and it was driving him crazy. He wanted to make it better, to stop you from hurting, yet he had no idea how to, or why he even cared so much to begin with.

He awkwardly cleared his throat — your blouse long forgotten as he let it fall into the bag and sat beside you.

“Hey,” he quietly tried to call your attention, which only caused you to shake your head no as you buried your face deeper against your palms, with that simple act of yours letting him know you weren’t ready to look at him just yet. “I know we’re not exactly friends, but… you can trust me, really. Whatever you’re going through right now, you can tell me”.

You choked on a sob, considering whether opening up to him was a good idea or not, for opening up to just anyone was not something you could do. As a heiress and with the eyes of the Korean media on your entire family, you could truly not. And a month ago, you would not have said a word about it to Kim Taehyung. However, he had been there for you in moments you would have not expected him to, and so now, you did trust him. Not entirely yet, but just enough to let him know a piece of what was troubling you right then.

“They want to take me back home” you managed to croak out, bottom lip trembling as you spoke.

Taehyung froze. Something about that idea not feeling right at all. “What?”

You took in a shaky breath, only to let another sob out as you lowered your head, somehow trying to hide from him more than you already were. “They don’t like it here. They say it’s no p-place for a heiress, and I would... love to say they’re wrong because I… I like it here. I like it at Hobi’s and I like my job and my friends, but t-they’re right. I can barely manage by myself, I-I’m a mess… I’m a complete mess an—”

“Yah…” he tried to call you out on it without sounding like he was scolding you. Moving closer to you, he hesitated for a second before he wrapped one of his arms around you, feeling at ease when you didn’t pull away from him and instead had seemed to accept his somewhat awkward show of affection. “You’re just getting the hang of it. You’ll get there eventually”.

You took in a shaky breath, leaning closer to him and finally letting go of your face, only to hide it on his chest so he still couldn’t look at you. “I thought I had finally found my place, but…” you sighed. “They’re right”.

“They’re not” he was quick to deny.

“Yes, they are!” you cried, voice muffled as you remained stuck to his sweater. “Like, am I going to be a barista for the rest of my life? Am I going to be looking for roommates all the time? I can barely afford that, and I can’t go on like that until the day I die” your voice broke. “I enjoy the luxurious life. I also enjoy my current job and my friends. But those two lives don’t go together and somehow I feel like I don’t belong anywhere…”

“Stop that,” Taehyung sighed heavily. “You belong anywhere you want to”.

You shook your head no, tugging at the fabric of this sweater as you tried to hold back another cry.

“You do” he reassured you before you could even open your mouth to deny it.

Once you silently shook your head no for what felt like the millionth time, not trusting your voice at all anymore, he sighed again, deciding to say nothing and pulling you closer to him instead, this time wrapping both arms around you and resting his chin on your head. You didn’t wait to hug him back, burying your face deeper in his chest and letting the rest of your tears roll down your cheeks as your sobs finally started to calm down after a good couple of seconds.

Somehow, being held by him made you feel better.

“It will be alright” he quietly tried to cheer you up.

That’s when you decided to finally stare up at him — pity no longer displaying in his eyes, but what seemed like hope, determination. He couldn’t help but smile sweetly at the current sight of you, your gloomy eyes and puffy face making you seem adorable for some reason. It was a side of you he had never seen before, and, oddly enough, he liked it. You seemed genuine, no longer being that unreachable heiress who so badly tried to keep that perfect image for the world to see. It was just you. You and those innocent eyes he had found a liking to right then.

At the way he was ever so intently staring at you, you didn’t wait to hide your face once again.

“Yah,” he laughed breathily, pulling your hands away from your face so he could look at you. “Why are you hiding?”

“I look hideous” you sheepishly admitted, staring down to your lap once you gave up on trying to cover up from him.

“Is the Kim Y/N really doubting her looks right now?” he couldn’t help but tease, feeling a smile curving up his lips at the sight of the shy one that had shown up on yours.

“I’m an ugly crier” you shrugged, still not daring to look at him.

Taehyung chuckled, cupping your face in his hands and leaving you with no choice but to lock eyes with him as his thumbs gently wiped your tears. “If you call this an ugly crier, then let me tell you you’ve got the wrong concept of the word ugly, princess”.

You couldn’t help but let out a light laugh that had his heart skipping a beat, just like yours had done at his words. “Are you calling me attractive now?”

“More like cute,” he corrected. “But whatever floats your boat”.

“Same thing” you teased him. “Thought you hated me too much to fall for my charms”.

Taehyung rolled his eyes at the way you had playfully batted your eyelashes right then. “First, I don’t hate you. You get on my nerves and are definitely not my favourite person, but hating you would take way too much effort” his words managed to get a roll of eyes from you this time. “And second, I’m not blind, Y/N”.

You smiled, deciding to reply nothing to the compliment he had oh-so-casually given you and just locking eyes with him instead. And you just stayed like that for a while, staring at each other in utter silence as words were suddenly no longer needed.

It was only when your faces had somehow gotten slightly closer and your eyes began to travel from each other’s eyes to your mouths, that Taehyung pulled away, awkwardly clearing his throat and avoiding your eyes as he stood up and nervously ran a hand through his hair.

“You can, um... you can stay the night” he informed.

“You don’t have to worry about me, really” you smiled, deciding to avoid as well the moment the two of you had just shared, and letting him know you appreciated his offering instead. “I’m almost done packing”.

“It’s already dark outside, though” he pointed out. “And, I mean, I can go drop you off if you want, but honestly, don’t feel like you need to leave when you’re not feeling your best”.

“Thank you” you smiled sweetly, standing up as well so you could close your luggage and take it off the bed, later slumping down on it and making yourself comfortable on the mattress you had once grown so used to. “I will leave first thing in the morning”.

“Okay” he smiled as well.

Although it was not late at all —at least not if he considered the time you used to go to bed when you lived with him—, he took your action of lying down on the bed as a sign of you wanting to go to sleep right away. So, taking that as his cue to leave, he turned around without another word to finally give you the space he thought you wanted.

Before he could even reach for the door, though, your rather shy voice caught his attention.

“Taehyung?”

“Mhm?” his eyes fixed on you.

“Can you…” you nervously bit down on your bottom lip, resting on your side as you faced him. “Would you stay here with me for a little longer?”

Taehyung stood by the door for a few seconds, not being able to stop himself from finding you adorable as hell right then. It was a bit ironic, how not long ago he found it annoying when you tried to spend time with him, yet now here you were asking for the same once again and he was so easily falling for it. And so, it didn’t take him long to nod his head and make his way back over you.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he fixed his eyes on your attentive ones, not being able to conceal his confused expression when you moved further away on the bed — only realising you had made some space for him to lie down on after you had patted the empty spot next to you.

Although a bit reluctant, he complied. Lying down next to you, he rested on his side as his cheek fell on the pillow so you would be face to face — once again falling into complete silence as your eyes met during way longer than what would be considered normal. Neither of you knowing when it was that silence between the two of you had stopped being awkward, tiring even, and became comfortable instead.

“You’re feeling better?” he asked in what felt more like a whisper, not being able to stop himself from removing a strand of hair that had fallen over one of your eyes after you nodded.

Smiling fondly at such a simple yet loving act of his, it was now you the one who couldn’t help herself — your hand going up to grab his as it was about to leave your face, and gently holding it in yours so you could give it a gentle squeeze as a sign of gratefulness. Taehyung took in a shaky breath at the unexpected contact, yet he did nothing to break it. If anything, he squeezed your hand right back, letting you know that, despite your many differences, he was there both with and for you.

“Sorry for bothering you again” you couldn’t help but apologize, for you had not forgotten you had once told him you would never again ask him to spend time with you.

Funnily enough, right then, to him, it felt far from annoying — lowkey wishing you had forgotten about that to begin with. It was a bit odd being like this with you, that was for sure, but this time he hadn’t minded at all having you ask him to spend a little more time with you. If anything, it felt nice. Being with you the way he was in that precise moment, felt really nice.

“My brother used to stay with me when I was feeling down and…”

Taehyung smiled softly. Who would’ve thought you could be this sweet without even trying. “It’s okay, you don’t need to give me explanations”.

Smiling at him, you unconsciously moved closer as you made yourself more comfortable in bed — his hand still in yours until you let go of it and mindlessly started tracing his fingers with yours, as you had suddenly become too nervous in his presence to keep holding eye contact.

“Thank you” you sincerely said after silence had taken over for a few seconds.

“What for?” he wondered.

“For everything” you explained. “For being here with me, for helping me out today, for letting me stay here with you even when you couldn’t stand me…” a light laugh escaped your mouth at your last mention. “For standing up for me earlier…”

“It was nothing” he reassured you.

“It was a lot to me” you smiled weakly. “Can I ask you something, though?”

“Sure”.

You bit down your bottom lip. “How much of it did you hear?”

Taehyung pouted in confusion, not being able to hide his rather taken aback expression. He should’ve known going out of his studio would throw him under the bus about having heard what was going on with you and your parents. Although any decent person would’ve gone to see what was going on after hearing people yelling in their living room, he thought.

Just a few keywords. That was all he had heard. However, they were all pretty compromising… at least the word ‘marriage’ particularly seemed like it, even more after Jimin had been brought up only minutes later in the conversation. And although he thought about mentioning it, for he wanted to know what the hell was going on for once and for all, he decided not to. You already seemed too exhausted that night; maybe some other time.

“Not much?” he bit his bottom lip. “Just your boyfriend being brought up every five seconds”.

“He’s not my boyfriend” you didn’t miss a beat to correct him, causing the corner of his lips to curve up in an amused smile.

“And something about Jimin and you…” he couldn’t help but add nevertheless.

The keyword ‘marriage’ had not been mentioned. Just your mutual friend. Yet it had made you take in a shaky breath and let out a heavy sigh.

Of course out of all the things your parents had said, he had heard that one particular part.

“You’re not telling me any of it, are you?” he lamented, your previous sigh and the way your body had tensed next to his being all he needed to reach said conclusion.

You sheepishly shook your head no. “I don’t really want to talk about it right now” your eyes focused on your hands, still playing with his long fingers. “And Jimin… if he hasn’t told you by now, then I believe you should ask him about it instead”.

“Ask him what?” his eyebrows knitted together.

You shrugged. “Whatever it is you’re trying to ask me”.

Taehyung sighed. He was dying to know everything you were keeping from him, and he didn’t know how much longer he could go without knowing the whole story. The annoying part was, that you and Jimin were the same — he wouldn’t give away information regarding you, and you wouldn’t give away information regarding him. It was as if you were each other’s partners in crime, and he had no idea if any of you would ever reach a common ground and give one another the green light to talk about it to him, or he would just have to wait until one of you slipped up.

“You will tell me everything at some point, right?” he tried to push it.

“We’ll see if you deserve it” you kept your answer on the mysterious side.

“I literally just stood up for you in front of your parents” he reminded you.

“Aren’t they lovely, by the way?” you joked.

Although he had laughed along with you at the way they were not lovely at all, a sigh was quick to abandon his mouth right after. “You’re such a brat”.

“That I am” you chuckled.

Taehyung couldn’t deny, though, that he now got where you and Jimin were coming from all along. It didn’t change the fact that, in his eyes, having a family was better than not having one. Nevertheless, yours was truly something else — a little over an hour having them at his, plus belittling him and his place when he had told them to calm down and leave, had been all he needed to find out why you didn’t want to meet up with them in the first place.

“You should embrace it then, princess”.

That made your head snap up, letting him know with your furrowed eyebrows that you did not get what he was talking about.

“Being a brat” he explained, being now him the one to mindlessly play with your fingers as he spoke.

“What?” you laughed lightly.

“I mean, brats get what they want, don’t they?” his words earned an immediate nod from you. “Then just… be that” he shrugged, drawing his eyes back up to yours. “Be an absolute brat and show your parents you can do with your life whatever you want, no matter what they say”.

Smiling at both his words and the way his eyes seemed so genuine right then, you were quick to nod as a small giggle escaped your mouth — not really giving it a second thought when you moved close enough to him to lightly press your head against his chest, and letting out a contented sigh when his thumb began to draw small circles on the back of your hand, giving you the last bit of reassurance for you to decide to go by his words.

Who would’ve thought the one to bring hope back to your life would be the very one who used to point out what a mess you were. Whatever it was that made him change his mind, you liked where you were at in whatever kind of relationship the two of you had right now.

[alygatorwrites]

can I request a lil something? during the end of the manga or after the timeskip if you haven't read it yet, reiner still has feelings for historia and reader has one-sided feelings for him.

pieck gives reiner a small hint, saying he's wasting time while there's someone close to him that cares for him and points to you. he doesn't understand at first and maybe is conflicted about his feelings for you because of historia. reader is cool about it as she doesn't expect him to reciprocate her feelings.

a rollercoaster of emotions later, maybe there is a happy ending tho? i am curious to see what you can come up with 😭😭 i have dreaming of this scenario before bed and i can't help but get jealous of his crush on historia abjdsndks maybe you can help reiner reciprocate reader-chan's feelings or not

thank u so much aly 💖🥺

reciprocation

pairing: reiner braun x reader

a/n: OMG yesss! honestly, i was kinda annoyed at how reiner still had a crush on historia. i know that isayama wanted to show how everything went back to normal, but i was hoping that reiner would have a bigger role in the allied nations instead of being "dumbed down" to having an obsession with her. MAYBE THATS JUST THE JEALOUSY SPEAKING LMAO 😭 i was hoping this would be longer, although school has been killing me so im really sorry!! i hope its okay 💗💕 thank you honey!

↳ to be added to my taglist, please fill out this ♡form♡

as reiner is handed historia’s letter, you fold your hands on the table and watch him without a word. when he reads the lines and smells the parchment - jean saying something snarky afterward - you say nothing.

you want reiner to be happy: you want to see him at ease like this more, face soft as the leaf of the page flits from his pinched fingers.

and so you let the man speak about historia like she’s a damn goddess, gushing over her handwriting, and keep your goddamn mouth shut. ignore your jealousy. your feelings.

the truth is, you’re in love with reiner.

you can’t even remember how it happened, but you can remember the first time you looked into those hazel eyes, and how you knew that they were going to stick with you for eternity.

you’ve come to accept his crush on the queen, though. reciprocation was never an option in your mind.

when jean begins to chew reiner out for lusting after a married woman, and reiner says something about jean being a horse, pieck’s gaze lands on you. “you’re rather quiet,” she says softly, resting her head on her palm.

you shrug, turning away from her. “i’m just tired.”

pieck catches your chin between her lithe fingers, and turns you to face her with a tiny smile. the young woman is very perceptive, and you’ve known her long enough. 

that’s when you notice the twinkle in her eye. she’s planning something.

pieck releases your jaw then, sitting up in her chair. “you’re wasting your time, reiner,” she says suddenly. “there’s already someone you know who cares for you.”

you pretend to not hear pieck - and definitely pretend you don’t see her faintly point at you through your peripheral. the movement of her fingers is barely there, but you catch it.

damn you, pieck.

the way you’re now pinned underneath armin, jean, connie, and reiner’s stares makes your stomach tie itself into knots with bubbling reluctance. shit, this is awkward. you want to run away.

still, you peer over to study reiner’s reaction. he looks confused at first, the contours of his face unreadable. you swear you see connie facepalm at the man’s cluelessness.

then reiner’s expression slowly changes: his eyes widen in awe, lips parting slightly, and brows knitting together. he seems genuinely surprised - and conflicted.

conflicted? why?

there’s no time to explain yourself though, because the door creaks open and annie steps in. her words fall on your deaf ears, and when everyone stands up to leave, you’re the first one out of the room. work beckons you as always.

two days pass.

you’ve been busy filling out tons of paperwork pertaining to the allied nations, so when you’re finally given a day off, you take it with open arms. 

freedom at last.

you lean against a bench outside of headquarters, enjoying the salty breeze that flutters along your skin. it’s dusk, the sky covered in a gradient of neon colors as the sun dips below the horizon.

you haven’t seen reiner since that day in the conference room. you wonder how he’s doing, what he’s thinking, how he’s holding up -

“hey.”

speak of the devil. you glance over your shoulder toward the voice, low and familiar.

reiner approaches you, clad in his uniform: the suit hugs his large frame perfectly, showing every flex of his muscles, and his blonde hair is neatly parted. the black tie looped around his neck just pulls it all together. it has you weak at the knees every. single. time.

“hey,” you answer, giving reiner a smile as he stops beside you.

and that’s when your heart lurches at the sight of him.

the sunset highlights reiner’s profile in gold, a heavenly shine that settles upon his blonde lashes and the flawless slope of his nose. the flecks in his irises sparkle – a beautiful mixture of soft browns and muted greens. the only thing you can do right now is admire the man. 

his words are what breaks you out of your daydream.

“work has been crazy lately, huh?” reiner says, focused on the candy-floss clouds and their fluffy shapes.

“well - yeah, pretty much. i don’t want to look at a pen or a piece of paper ever again.”

“that bad?”

“you have no idea. i almost regret marley and paradis reconciling.”

reiner chuckles gently at the joke, but it’s strained. his forehead remains creased, and he’s not really smiling. the emotion there is more … doubtful. it’s like he’s having some sort of inner conflict.

hopefully reiner’s not acting cautious because of the other day. you know he doesn’t return your feelings, and that’s totally okay. you’re happy enough being with him like this. “i’m not mad or anything, y’know.”

reiner stiffens at that. there’s a white flash of teeth when he chews on his lower lip. “i know.”

“good,” you hum, breathing out a sigh of relief. your core twists with envy when you force a grin. bite it back. tease him like always. “so about historia … ”

reiner’s eyes go wide almost comically, and you hear the breath in his lungs leave his firm chest in one exhale. there’s a light blush staining his cheeks now. it’s funny; he’s so goddamn big, yet he’s such a teddy bear.

“y-yeah,” reiner mutters. you observe the way his brows pinch together as he awkwardly shifts in place. it takes a while before the man composes himself again, which is strange.

is he scared or something? what the hell?

“pieck,” reiner hesitates for a moment. the golden strands of his hair ruffle in the wind and he appears ... well, lost. “was she being serious?”

the question is a shocker - jeez, he could have at least let you prepare yourself. a firm ‘no’ almost slips out, but you’ve never been much of a liar. not to reiner, anyway. crossing your arms against your chest, you inhale sharply and nod. avoid staring at him face-to-face. “yep.”

“ … why me?”

reiner says the words with a mixture of spite and anguish, a casual and rumbling voice. you immediately turn your head, frowning. “what?”

“i’ve done so many horrible things.” reiner exhales heavily and stares down at his hands; perhaps he’s imagining all the blood they’ve been stained with. “i betrayed everyone. i killed innocent people - all because i was selfish.”

it’s no surprise that reiner is broken after everything he’s been through, but it pains you to know that he continues to suffer in silence. whatever war is raging inside his ribcage tears him apart piece by piece, and you wish you could carry the burden. 

there’s probably nothing you can say to convince reiner that he was just a kid, a victim of circumstance. there’s nothing that can persuade him to see himself the way you do.

so you decide to tell reiner why you love him. 

you explain the amount of admiration you hold for him. tell him that you love the way he just wants to be someone his comrades can lean on, like a big brother. tell him that you think he’s the most gorgeous person you’ve ever seen and how you think he deserves the world.

the way you spill your guts out snaps every nerve in your body. you don’t say everything you want to – but you tell him enough. a dark flush spreading across your face, you find the courage to look at him.

the world seems to stop on its axis when you find reiner staring right on back. the intensity of his eyes is stunning; they’re lit up with astonishment and affection.

god, the affection. you see it clear as day. maybe one of the greatest regrets in his life is how he forced himself to see you only as a friend.

that’s when he reaches out to you.

reiner retracts his hand twice, unsure, before slowly brushing his fingertips against yours. the touch is so feather-light that you almost can’t feel it. it’s a test - he’s waiting to see if you pull away. you can’t even move if you wanted to, because his fond gaze keeps you rooted to the spot before him. 

when you don’t recoil, reiner finally moves to gently hold your hand; his palm is so much bigger than yours, and your fingers slot together perfectly, like a jigsaw puzzle’s final piece. 

heart thrumming like a hummingbird has been stuffed into your chest, you’re almost at a loss for words and come to a realization.

this utterly amazing man likes you. always has. 

but reiner shoved away the feelings for one simple reason; you deserved ‘better.’ focusing on the old crush he had on historia was a distraction - an attempt to convince himself to stop thinking about you.

because looking at you everyday and not being able to act upon his feelings was too painful.

“is this okay?” reiner asks lowly. there’s a slight pinkness to his cheeks, the color of a selfless love.

by some miracle, you manage to nod dumbly. “yeah, of course. it’s fine.” it’s amazing is what you actually want to say.  

reiner squeezes your hand at the reassurance, a sigh escaping from his throat. “i really—”

you wait for him to finish, but he doesn’t. reiner just searches your profile for signs of discomfort, and then untwines your hands to bravely swipe a thumb along the length of your cheekbone. 

there’s no time to speak because he’s already leaning down.  

the sensation of reiner’s lips pressing against yours lights your skin ablaze; you can feel the curling flames of passion sear your soul, made even more intense by the warmth of the sunlight on your back.

it’s natural, it’s tender, it’s warm.

reiner’s breath rattles into your mouth when you rest both palms against his solid chest and deepen the kiss. the musky smell of his aftershave and cologne envelops you completely, and fuck, it’s so good. your arms wrap around him, fingers passing over the sharp slopes of his shoulder blades.

as much as you wish the kiss could go on endlessly, there are people gathering outside. avoiding any unwanted attention from nosy strangers is very much appreciated.

you pull away to nuzzle your nose into reiner, and he rests his chin on your shoulder, protective arms moving to loop around your waist. it’s such an intimate caress that it sparks your brain into overdrive.

as the rushing sound of the breeze comes back to your ears through the quiet, you tuck the kiss away to be remembered forever. that’s all there is to it. being close to reiner like this - swaying together like wildflowers in the wind - is more important than anything else.

“i like you,” reiner murmurs.

the suddenness of it makes you laugh, and you can feel the upward quirk of reiner’s lips - a whisper of a peaceful smile and a sweet, sweet promise.

[weebswrites]

The Demon Bros: Waking up from their first sex dream about you

Lucifer

• His alarm goes off and he jolts upright in bed, thoughts and images from his dream racing through his mind

• He realizes that he’s very hard, and his face is covered in a deep blush

• He sorts out his little (big) problem, and goes to breakfast, desperately trying to get his mind off the dream

• He’s almost successful, until he opens the doors and sees you sitting alone at the table, wearing a tank top and shorts

• “M-Morning, MC” he stammers

• You look up, “Lucifer? Are you alright?” you ask, never having heard him stutter before

• “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired” he brushes off the question, and you can tell something is up, but don’t want to push him

• “Alright Luce, come sit. I’ll get you tea” you say, pulling back the chair that’s next to yours as you get up, walking over to the table to get him his favorite tea

• You accidentally bump into him, and his face blushes deep red

• “Lucifer, are you sure everything is okay? You know you can always talk to me”

• “Yeah, sorry. I didn’t mean to bump into you”

• You can feel his eyes burning into your back as you make his tea

• You walk it to him and set it down in front of him, his eyes staying locked on you the entire time

• “Lucifer…” you start, but he cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours

• You’re surprised, but definitely not upset about this, and once the surprise wears off you grip the back of his hair with your fingers

• The two of you get pretty carried away, you’re straddling his hips when Asmo opens the door and gasps

• “Finally!! Congrats, MC!! You finally put the moves on Lucifer, huh”

• You blush, and Lucifer smirks at you, “Oh? So you’ve wanted to do this for a while then?”

• “Oh damn, did Lucifer make the first move? I wasn’t expecting that!” Asmo giggles, “But either way I’m glad you two are finally clearing the sexual tension

• You clear the sexual tension all right, for the rest of the day and into the night oops

Mammon

• It’s the middle of the day when he’s suddenly hit with the memory of his dream

• He’s hanging out with you in his room, you’re doing homework and trying to get mammon to study for a test he has

• He goes silent, and you look over to see a hand over his mouth, like he’s in shock

• “Mammon?”

• “It’s nothing…don’t worry about it human”

• You punch his arm playfully, but he jerks away

• Your heart stings, and it’s clear on your face

• “MC, shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that…”

• “Mammon…what was that?”

• He doesn’t want to be honest, but he knows you’ll get the truth out of him one way or another

• So, he tells you

• You blush, like a lot

• He gets a bit rambly at the end, talking about how he hopes this doesn’t change your friendship and that he doesn’t want you to be upset with him

• Only one way to reassure him that you aren’t…

• A kiss!

• He’s !! at first, but then relaxes into the kiss

• “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while now, Mammon. This was the perfect excuse”

• He get’s all cute and blushy

• “Awh, you have a crush on the Great Mammon!” he teases

• “Shut up~” you blush, and lean in and kiss him again

• You feel like you could kiss him for hours and not get tired of it, so that’s exactly what you do

Leviathan

• He wakes up covered in sweat, breathing heavily

• It’s 3 in the morning, so he knows you won’t be awake

• Wait, you’re his best friend! He can’t have a sex dream about his best friend!

• That’s when he hears his phone vibrate, and it’s none other than you

• Within a few minutes you’re knocking on his door, wearing the hoodie he leant you no less

• “Levi…I had a nightmare…can we cuddle” you whisper, usually not this forward but it was 3 am and you just wanted to be in your crush’s arms

• He nods, and the two of you walk to his bed

• You notice he’s a bit, well, hard, and don’t know whether or not to mention it

• But it’s 3 am and you’re hit with a wave of horniness, so when he spoons you you push your ass against him

• You feel him tense up, but the quiet moan that escapes his lips is validation enough for you to slowly begin grinding against him

• His hand holds your hip as you grind against him, both of you breathing heavily

• You turn to face him, the two of you locking eyes and silently agreeing that you were going to take your friendship to the next level

• You climb on top of him and resume grinding against him, bringing your lips together in sloppy, hungry kisses

• You have sex, and fall asleep in each other’s arms

• The next morning you’re both 😳, but you confess to having liked him for a while and by the time you’re at breakfast the two of you are officially dating

Satan

• He fell asleep in his chair reading again, but notices the blanket draped over him, bookmark carefully placed in his book that was not placed on the table beside him

• He quickly places that you were reading with him, and blushes at your kindness

• His blush then deepens when he’s hit with the memory of his dream

• Clips of you kissing, grinding against him, him thrusting deep into you in every position he could imagine flying through his mind, and he realizes that he’s very hard because of it

• He turns to look at his bed, and is surprised to find you in it, sitting by the window and reading late into the night

• You notice him stir, and turn to look at him. You’re dressed in just one of his tee shirts and your underwear. “Hey there sleepyhead” you tease, “Want to come lay down?”

• He nods, but realizes he can’t get up without you seeing his ~issue~

• “Satan?”

• “Mmmm…I’m gonna stay here for a minute” he says, and you think you know what’s going on

• You stand up, walking over to him and swaying your hips a bit more than usual, letting his shirt graze your thighs

• You watch as his eyes trail your body, smirking as your heart rate increases

• You stand at the front of the chair and lean over, resting your hands on the arms of his chair and putting your faces close together

• “Satan~ Why won’t you come sleep with me~” you tease, fully accepting that you were basically confessing to him

• He exhales with sexual frustration, and you lean even closer

• “Satan…” you whisper breathily against his lips, and before you know it his hands are holding your face and he’s kissing you deeply

• You spend the rest of the night making his dream come to life

Asmodeus

• He wakes up ~fashionably late~, and is in the middle of picking his outfit when he remembers

• He blushes a bit, but chuckles to himself

• “MC, MC…you’ve got me…huh” he admits to himself, and sends you a quick text asking you to come to his room

• You arrive within a few minutes, and can tell that he has something crazy he’s going to propose

• But you didn’t expect that he was going to confess a sex dream about you !

• It’s not like you hadn’t had them about him, but you didn’t think he’d had them about you

• “So, whaddya say? Care to make my dream come to life~”

• You blush and nod, “It’d be my pleasure~”

• You simultaneously bring your lips together and running your hands up and down each other’s bodies

• You walk to the bed together, falling back on it with him on top of you, rolling his hips perfectly against yours

• He starts kissing down your neck, and you shakily breathe out his name, begging him to keep going

• You go for quite a few rounds, him bringing you to as many climaxes as you bring him

Beelzebub

• He’s surprisingly calm about the whole thing

• That is, until he sees you in the kitchen, still in your pajamas and sleepily eating a bagel

• He quickly checks you out, which you act like you don’t notice

• You heart was warm at the sight of him coming in, and it beat fast when you saw him check you out

• You get up and walk to him at the fridge, slipping your body in front of his and pressing against him

• “Morning Beel” you say, exaggerating the tiredness in your voice because you knew he thought it was cute

• “Morning baby” he responds, not realizing the pet name until after it slipped out

• You smile, turning around to face him and reaching your arms up and wrapping your arms around his neck

• “I like the pet name, honey. You should keep using it”

• He blushes, but nods. He looks into your eyes, trying to read them

• You make it easier for him, “So Beel, does this mean I can call you mine”

• He’s a bit taken aback by how forward you’re being, but leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead

• “Please~”, his voice is soft but confident, and he feels like he’s been in love with you for as long as he can remember, even though he just realized it this morning

• You bring his face down and lightly kiss his lips, smiling against them

• “Good” you say, heart smiling with love for your boyfriend

Belphegor

• He’s woken up from a nap abruptly, eyes shooting open with realization over what just happened

• He can usually control his dreams, which is why he was so surprised by this one

• He knew his heart felt different around you, but he didn’t think anything of it

• Until now, that is

• And he jumps out of his skin when he hears you knock on his door, “Belphegor! We have class, let’s go! Lucifer’s getting pissed!”

• “Uhhhh fuck” he groans, “Gimme a minute”

• “One minute, and then I’m coming in” you warn him, not wanting either of you to face the wrath of Lucifer (and also because you loved how much his room smelled like him)

• You wait about 20 seconds before opening the door, and you freeze and blush when you catch him shirtless, only in boxers

• “Damn, my bad” you say, but don’t move

• You hold eye contact for a moment, neither of you saying anything before you take the move and trace your eyes down his body, stopping on his boxers and tracing the outline of his length, which you note is very hard

• You step in and close the door behind you, locking it

• “Belphie~” you tease, walking towards him as he backed up towards his bed, nervous about what your intentions were

• “You put a hand on his bicep, and squeeze lightly, “I can uh, help you, if you want” He takes a moment to think, but nods and presses his hips to yours

• You miss your first class of the day heh

[mrslilyrogers]

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Telepath! Reader (X-men reader)

Summary: It’s been five years since the snap. You and Steve are stuck at an impasse. You want a family, he doesn’t. He says he’s moved on but has he really? With your doubts growing, you consider risking his trust and use your powers on him to get your answers once and for all. 

Author’s note: I know I’ve been gone for so long, I’m sorry!! I loved these requests and decided to merge them together. Took a while to write, I haven’t had much inspiration. I’ll keep this short and hope you enjoy this!! Let me know what you think!  

Requests: hi!! first of all i adore your writing (esp. betrayal)!! id willingly chop two of my limbs in exchange of ur writing skills hahah!! can you maybe write a oneshot similar to take my breath away, and the reader and steve are dating, but they’re actually in steve’s dream(like in age of ultron) and she is sad that steve’s still hasn’t moved on from peggy?? and can you make it extra angsty?? sorry if this is too much hehe!! thanks btw :))

Hmmm maybe angst w/ Steve or Bucky where a misunderstanding/bad fight leads to the reader leaving the team?

“Damn it, Steve! Would you just listen? Where the hell are you even going?” your voice boomed around your small apartment as you breathed harshly, trying your best not to pull your hair out of frustration. 

At first, it had all been just petty disagreements, you and Steve letting off some steam after the snap happened. You had thought it was normal at the time, a coping mechanism that needed to be flushed out of your systems never expecting that it would last for as long as it has. Five freakin’ years. By now, you would’ve thought you’d realize how lucky you were to still be alive, to still be together while others couldn’t say the same. And yet...

“Geez, Y/N. I am! For the past 30 minutes! And I’m telling you now what I’ve told you from the start,  I am not ready! You gotta give me more time, doll.” He replied, his voice just a tad calmer than yours but you didn’t miss the tick in his jaw as he walked out of your shared room, shrugging into his jacket. You knew his anger was just brewing inside, ready to attack if you pushed just a little bit harder. After countless back-and-forths, this had become a routine between the two of you with Steve always taking the role of the aggrieved party, ending arguments with an exasperated sigh and a roll of his eyes before he walked away, deciding he had something better to do with his precious time than fight with you. While you, on the other hand, always found that more infuriating, making you impatient and mean, baiting and nagging him until you wouldn’t even recognize the shrill and whine to your own voice.

“And when would that even be? It’s been five years since the snap. When will—”

“Don’t you dare bring that up!” his voice rose, eyes glaring at you as he whirled around, his jaw clenched. “Don’t use that excuse on me, you know damned well I know it. Why do you think I chose to move on and be with you instead of helping Nat bring them all back, hmm?” He continued mockingly as if you were stupid enough not to understand. 

This was it, what all your petty arguments had narrowed down into;

Despite what he said, he still wasn’t ready to settle down. 

“But what the hell are we doing now, Steve? We’re not getting any younger! I want to have kids, a family, with you!” You knew you sounded pathetic, and desperate all at the same time but you couldn’t help but continue, the pretty picture already clouding your brain, 

“Can’t you see it? Having children of our own, their drawings hung up on the walls, the dog you’ve been wanting to have since forever running around the house, family barbecues...” your voice trailed off, a lump forming in your throat, your eyes glazing over with unshed tears. It was all within your grasp, so easily reachable if only Steve agreed with you. If only he wanted it too. Anger bubbled up to the surface while he bristled, looking annoyed. 

 “We can have all of that, you know. What are you even waiting for? Will you ever be ready? Because it really feels like you won’t and I’m the only one who actually wants this,” You were unrelenting, thinking of Tony Stark’s family, how they had gone off the grid and had their own little piece of heaven. Crossing your arms, you knew you wouldn’t achieve anything by becoming a nag but your patience was already wearing thin. 

“Jesus, Y/N! Why would you even say that? Of course I want a family with you! I’m just not ready for that yet! Just give me more time,”

Shaking your head, you let out a defeated sigh and looked away from him. You could hear him grabbing the keys from the counter, exhaling loudly before he went up to you and ran his hands down your arms soothingly, willing you to understand. When you didn’t budge, he just pleaded as he always had, 

“I love you, you know I love you. But I need to get to this meeting, those people need me, Y/N. Could we please just talk about this later?” He moved his head lower to meet your eyes and even in your state of anger, you knew you couldn’t say no to that. He took your begrudged nod as an assent, kissing your forehead before he turned to leave. What else were you going to say anyway? He was going to lead a therapy session for people who had lost their loved ones. Guilt ate at you for keeping him here when he so desperately wanted to save the world. People needed him too, not just you. They hung on his every word. They needed their Captain America, their symbol of hope. While, here you were, acting like a child because he wouldn’t let you have your way. 

Letting out another sigh, your gaze stuck to the floor, berating yourself at how selfish you’d become. You knew what you were getting into when you dated him. You had no illusions of being the center of his universe, it was always going to be the people. But still, it would’ve been nice to be put first for once. You hated the tandem feelings of jealousy and guilt that always crept up on you after your fights. You just wished he understood that while those people needed their hero, you needed your Steve too. But as time passed, it seemed like the man and the hero were indistinguishable and you’d been deluding yourself into thinking it could be different. You’d just have to accept that too because living without him wouldn’t even be an option. 

He paused by the door, catching sight of your slumped shoulders. “Hey,” he said softly, striding back to you. 

“You know I love you, right?” he stroked your cheeks and you couldn’t help the turn of your lips. Nodding slowly, you rolled your eyes at how easy you were for him. 

 “I know. I’m sorry,” 

Ducking down to give you a quick peck on the lips, he reassured you again, “We’ll talk about this later, I promise,” then he gave you one last kiss to your forehead before he disappeared. But what once would’ve eased your worries did nothing to quell your nerves now. Your heart believed everything was alright but your gut said otherwise. 

_______________

He looked down at the worn, brassy compass in his palm, his mind years away from where he was, unaware that you were standing by the door. You watched his shoulders relax into a defeated sigh, his eyes never leaving her picture. You couldn’t remember when he ever looked at you like that, all the love and longing etched on his face. He brought his other hand up to caress the picture gently, as if he actually imagined she was with him, a small, sad smile forming on his lips. You felt the air knock right out of you while you scrambled out of there feeling as if you’ve intruded on an intimate moment. You couldn’t help the tears falling from your eyes while you convinced yourself it was nothing. He had just lost his best friends, she was a symbol of his past. He just missed that right? 

You paced around the kitchen, your mind running back to the times you’ve caught him staring at Peggy’s picture. All those times you pretended you didn’t notice how frequently he had been doing it these past few years. His voice, an echo in your head, 

“I’m not ready, just give me more time doll, please,” 

Closing your eyes, you buried your face in your hands. Oh, it would be so easy, you thought. All you had to do was get into his mind and see for yourself. One little, fast trip into his thoughts and you’d get your answers. He’d be none the wiser, no one need ever know except you. And your dignity, and your pride and your principles. Ugh.

He trusted you, you promised never to use your powers on him and yet, that was all you could ever think about now. Did he think of her when he thought of the family he wanted? Was it her face he saw, walking down the aisle to him? 

For the first time in your life, you hated your upbringing at the Xavier Institute. You hated the values and principles they instilled in you, the very reason you were adamant not to use your powers on the unwilling and unsuspecting for your own personal gain even though you were going crazy, craving for your own peace of mind. Deep down you knew, promise to Steve or no, you couldn’t go through with it. 

You looked at the clock, thirty minutes to go before his meeting ended. Grabbing your coat from the rack, you impulsively decided to go to him, promising yourself you weren’t going to nag and argue with him but have a normal conversation like you used to. You haven’t had a date in a long while anyway. Maybe a little spark of romance was all you really needed. 

_____________

Your steps echoed on the linoleum floor, walking past the empty hall to follow the directions to the room where the meeting took place. Rubbing your palms together, you spotted the room. The fluorescent lights hanging above casting a lonely pallor to the already gray walls while the rain poured heavily outside. The gloom, an inevitable reminder of what the world has become. It seemed everywhere people went, there was always a reminder of what they’ve lost. Even on an otherwise unblemished sunny day, the vibrancy was not the same, people were scarce and it was quiet. Too quiet. Which was why you were so adamant to continue on living, in order to honor the lives of the people you’ve lost. 

You could hear their faint voices outside the room. Your heart going out to those poor people who still held onto the past while you thanked your lucky stars you still had Steve.You fished for your earphones in your purse trying not to eavesdrop but his clear and deep voice interrupted you. Leaning against the wall opposite the door, you listened, a smile tugging on your lips while he commended the other person. He was always so good with words, always knew the right things to say and that never failed to make you proud. His words of encouragement lifted your spirits, making you stand a little taller, hope blossoming in the pit of your stomach. He talked about moving on, about finding purpose again. 

“I went in the ice in ‘45 right after I met the love of my life,” 

Your whole body went cold, the smile on your lips faltering, your hands suddenly gripping the edge of your blouse while his disheartened voice continued to try to reassure everyone including himself,

“I woke up 70 years later, you gotta move on. You gotta move on,”  

With a hand to your lips, you ran, your rapid, staccato steps filling the hall barely even muffling the sobs you desperately tried to hide. 

___________

Steve didn’t bother coming home straightaway after the meeting.  He told himself it was because he needed to check up on Nat despite the fact that he could’ve easily just called, despite knowing you were all supposed to meet for dinner in a few days anyway. He took his time getting to the Avengers Compound, embracing the uncharacteristic quietness of the city, giving him the chance to be alone with his thoughts. If he were being honest with himself, he couldn’t shake off the guilt that settled at the pit of his stomach at the thought of Peggy. The love of his life. Apparently, anyway. He had no idea where that came from, never really thought of it until it slipped from his mouth. And did he really feel that way? Was she really the love of his life? 

The thought of you came unbidden from his mind, your warm smile waking him up in the morning, your laughter setting the world to rights whenever he was feeling especially out of place. You’ve been through so much together, what you both had was real and it was beyond anything he could’ve imagined when he woke up from the ice and he knew he should take it a step further. He loves you, he is fully committed to you. There was nothing holding him back and yet… and yet, he still thought of her. He couldn’t help but think that if he had only stayed where he really was supposed to be, Peggy would’ve been the mother to his children, she would’ve been his wife. She would’ve been his life’s true love. But the very thought of that put a sour taste to his mouth, the truth was he could never picture his life without you. As much as he still dreamt of the past, how could it be the same if you weren’t there?

At first he thought falling in love with you was a balm to soothe his lost soul until he eventually realized you had crept up on him slowly but in a span of a heartbeat, wormed your way into his heart so suddenly he couldn’t even pinpoint the exact moment he knew he loved you. It was plain and simple, he knew it as he knew the sun rose in the east, he loved you. It was so unlike the way he fell for Peggy where all it took was one look and he was already drunk in love. 

Was it possible then, to be in love with two women? 

________________________________________

You were already in bed when Steve got home, feigning tiredness from the day when your heart was really beating rapidly in your chest. How could you face him now knowing you were second best? You could hear him in the bathroom, oblivious to your inner turmoil. When he was done, he gave you a quick kiss goodnight and went to his side of the bed, his back to you. You turned to face the wide expanse of his shoulders and wondered where the hell do you go from here. Would you really be alright living in the shadow of his ex, one of the world’s most accomplished women, so extraordinary that Captain America couldn’t even move on from her? Could you really leave him if it came down to it? 

A tear escaped the corner of your eye and you laid on your back, the darkness of the ceiling reflecting the heaviness in your heart. You must’ve stared at it for hours, wondering just how far away you were from the man right at your side. He was with you physically but his heart? You always knew deep down, it belonged to someone else. If he had a choice to go back, would he leave you? With the way things were going, you knew he would. In an instant. There was always a part of him that he closed off from you and ever since the snap, it only worsened. The fights, the distance, it all made sense now. Heck, even tonight, he didn’t even bother to ask how you were doing and accepted your lame excuse to get to bed early. It was the weekend, you literally had nothing to do the whole day and yet, it never even occurred to him that something could be wrong. For once, you were sorely tempted to use your powers on him. Hearing his even breathing as he slept didn’t make it any easier. It would be over before he knew it, what would be the harm in that? 

As if on cue, he turned and faced you. His long lashes resting peacefully on his cheeks, his lips slightly parted, he looked like a man who didn’t carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looked younger, more like your Steve. The Steve you wished would let you in and give you the family you’ve always wanted. 

“Just a quick little trip, no one would ever know. What would be the harm in that?” the little voice in the back of your head taunted.

What would be the harm in that? 

With your resolve weakening, you jumped right into the abyss, entering the mind of the man of your dreams, hoping you were his too. 

______

The sun shone brightly through the open window, letting in the warm summer breeze while his favorite vinyl record played in the background. 

Kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It’s been a long long time 

The air was crisp and the smell of pancakes and cinnamon wafted from the doorway of the kitchen into the living room of the small, suburban house. The yellow walls were adorned with children’s drawings with a few marker drawings on the wallpaper here and there. The faint sound of giggling could just be heard from where you stood by the stairs. Your children, you thought to yourself, a smile creeping up your lips. This was it. This was what you’ve been picturing too, what you’ve told him countless times over and over again. He dreamed of it too. You turned your attention to the living room, your heart giving a little leap at the mess. It looked like someone had tried to tidy up but gave up on the last minute, some toys still scattered about. You noticed the pet bed by the couch, and you couldn’t help but be excited and hopeful, it was everything you thought of down to a T. You went towards the paper and crayons on the low table between the couch and the fireplace, inspecting one of the children’s current drawings there. It was of a family, their hands holding each other while they smiled in front of the house, a little dog at their father’s side. At the bottom, a scribbly handwriting of a preschooler wrote; Mom, Sarah, James, Dad and directly below the dog, Sam. You laughed aloud at that, clutching the drawing, hoping you could keep it for yourself and willing it into existence. 

“Come on, dance with me,” 

You heard Steve’s playful voice coming from the kitchen. A woman’s laughter rang out, you could just imagine yourself shaking your head at him in response, but something about the woman’s laugh caught you in your tracks. A little too shrill, a little too melodic. You inched closer to the open door, your heart dropping to your stomach. There they were, the picture perfect couple.  He twirled her around, her red dress hugging her curves so effortlessly, while she drew her head back and laughed. The dimples on her cheeks deepening, her curls staying in place even when Steve maneuvered her around. They looked so beautiful together, his golden locks and smitten smile never once leaving her face, he never looked so happy. 

Not even when he was with you.

That realization hit you like a train. You couldn’t even remember the last time he looked at you the way he looked at Peggy now.  When was the last time you danced? When was the last time you acted silly together? When was the last time you were both happy? That was what hurt the most. You couldn’t even remember. It felt like a weird sort of deja vu except now, it was an actual woman instead of a picture on a compass. You tried to gather your pride and step away but you couldn’t, you were rooted into place, a sadistic part of you welcomed the pain because you should’ve known. 

“I went in the ice in ‘45 right after I met the love of my life,” 

You should’ve known.

 But instead, you choose to play the fool.

There must’ve been a shift in the air that only they understood because Steve gathered her in his arms now, their eyes locking into each other, gentle and longing. 

You'll never know how many dreams

I dreamed about you

Or just how empty they all seemed without you

So kiss me once then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It's been a long, long time

He rocked her back and forth, bringing her hand up to his chest, turning into action what words fail to describe. She closed her eyes and laid her head on his heart, savoring their moment. He leaned his head on hers too, a satisfied smile on both their faces as they continued to sway to the music. You had never felt as small as you did now. You felt like a thief, intruding on their moment, stealing his dream away. And that’s exactly what you were doing. That’s exactly what you are. You felt so dirty, a desperate, pathetic fly on the wall he couldn’t get rid of. And worst of all, you destroyed his trust too.

As if on cue, the colors started to change, the song distorting and shifting and in this moment you knew, you had to leave. 

You have to leave. 

Part Two

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Got no shame [Oliver Wood x Reader] - Challenge

Title: Got no shame Pairing: Oliver Wood x Female!Reader Word count: 2.5k Published: 27 May, 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Summary: [x] Being the daughter of the coach of Puddlemere United gives you the opportunity to get close to the players, some even more than others. When Oliver gets injured, you don’t even care about being friends or less or more, you just need to know if he is okay. Challenge: [x] [x] This is part of @iliveiloveiwrite 's writing challenge

Song inspiration: No shame by 5 Seconds of Summer

Bingo: [x] [x] This is part of my Band--Psychos 1.5k Followers Bingo Card by @band--psycho and my Make me feel Bingo Card by @girl-next-door-writes​​

Square filled: Rain [ @band--psycho ]

Square filled: Temporary amnesia [ @girl-next-door-writes ]

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

Band--Psychos 1.5k Followers Bingo Masterlist

Make me feel Bingo Masterlist

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You have always been a big fan of quidditch, but unfortunately your abilities were never enough to become a professional. Luckily however, your father was the coach of the Puddlemere quidditch team. It was a daily occurrence for you to appear on their practice, overtime even becoming friends with some of the team members.

Benjy, the seeker of the team and Jocelind, one of the chasers quickly grew fond of you. Although your friendship started off on a rocky road. The two of them had a mission to tease you about their keeper, Oliver Wood’s crush on you. They thought his tries to catch your attention would be obvious to everyone, but it seemed you were the only one who couldn’t see it. Benjy and Jo made it their duty to remind you every single day how badly Oliver had fallen for you. Just like on that particular day, before one of their most important matches.

“Can you just stop?” You exhaled, pleading with the pair, the same subject repeating itself daily. Falling back onto one of the benches of the changing room, you heaved a heavy sigh, tired of their constant nagging.

“Sure, will you accept that Wood has a crush on you?” Benjy asked, teasingly wiggling his brows as he took a seat beside you, nudging your shoulder playfully.

“No! I will not! When he joined the team, he was this shy little boy, trying to adjust. He always talked to me, he always came to me for advice. If back then you said he had a crush on me, I might have believed you. But since then, he has become popular, girls and boys falling on their knees in front of him. I just can’t see it and I doubt out of all his choices I would be a contender,” you explained, sighing deeply.

“For Merlin’s sake,” Jo exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air, “each time he gives an autograph he is looking for your eyes, hoping for you to notice him. When the papers are taking photos of us, he looks like a meerkat trying to get your attention. How dumb can you be, woman?” She groaned as she folded her arms in front of her chest, shaking her head disapprovingly.

“You have had a crush on him for years, do something already,” Benjy added quickly before you could have replied. “Wood is my friend and I know him, he is mad for you.”

“Guys, please,” you pleaded, wanting to close the subject finally. “I would like nothing more than to believe you, but there’s no way Wood—,” before you could have continued, the entrance door of the changing room opened, a tall figure entering, his head covered under a hoodie, his clothes soaked, raindrops dripping to the floor.

“Oh, hi,” he lifted his head, revealing his identity. Pushing back his hoodie, you caught his dark eyes as he ran his hand across his short-cut, brown hair, his mere presence causing your cheeks to warm up. “You are early,” he added as none of you replied.

“Yeah, wanted to beat some sense into this woman,” Jo replied with a groan, clearly still annoyed by your blindness for Oliver’s feelings.

“Maybe I should beat some into you,” huffing, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, turning away from your friend’s gaze.

“Okay, why don’t we just take a deep breath and calm down?” Benjy interrupted.

“You clearly have something to discuss, should I leave?” Oliver asked as he looked around the three of you with a confused expression painted across his handsome face.

“Yes,” Jo replied, but you couldn’t handle another lecture.

“No,” you added, wanting to just stop them from nagging you any further.

“Well, that was helpful,” Oliver scoffed, trying to stop the little smirk from appearing in the corner of his lips. “So, which is it then?”

“No, because if you stay, it means they will quiet down finally and I need them to stop nagging me,” you replied as you stood up from the bench and headed towards the door. “Instead of getting on my nerves, you should start getting ready for the match,” you huffed in annoyance.

“As far as I’m concerned your father is our coach, not you,” Jo replied with gritted teeth.

“Indeed. But guess what, he would say the same,” you offered her a smug grin as you stepped out of the changing room, loudly shutting the door behind yourself.

As you headed to your father’s office, you heard loud footsteps following you. Turning around, you saw Oliver run after you, his clothes still drenched in water, but it didn’t stop him from coming after you. A soft smile appeared on your face as you patiently waited for him.

“Are you doing ground exercises?” You asked playfully as the boy finally halted beside you, trying to adjust his breathing.

“Very funny,” he scoffed, but you caught a tiny smile appearing in the corner of his lips. “I couldn’t stand the mood in the changing room. I have no idea what you have done, but Jo is quite pissed off,” he added, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

“Did they tell you what we argued about?” You asked, panic settling deep inside you as you realised Oliver might just know of your crush on him.

“Nah, they didn’t say anything, other than that you are being stubborn and blind for whatever reason,” he furrowed, the words without context making no sense to him.

“So, I’ve heard,” you grimaced as you started walking towards your father’s office once again.

“Wait, can I ask you what the argument was about?” He reached for your arm, wrapping his long fingers around your wrist. You turned back to look at him over your shoulder, his eyes holding curiosity.

“The person I like,” you replied, hoping for some sort of reaction from him.

“O— oh,” he breathed, somewhat disappointed as he let go of your wrist. The way he acted was certainly not what you expected and for a mere second you could see what Jo and Benjy were talking about. But a reasonable part of your brain quickly adjusted and decided to send you signals that reassured you it was probably just an involuntary reaction with no meaning behind it.

“Anyways, I will go and see my father. Maybe you should get ready,” you offered him a soft smile as you patted his shoulder and wished him good luck for the game.

As the match started, the rain was still pouring heavily, a batch of lightning struck on the ground, the players barely able to avoid them in time. You hid under your soaked hoodie as you cheered for the team, but deep down your stomach was in a knot, hoping for everyone to leave the game unscraped.

“Come on, Wood!” You shouted as the opponent flew towards his hoops, but luckily, he kicked the quaffle out of the way. His eyes looked for you for a good few seconds, before he caught sight of you and offered you a cheerful grin that you couldn’t stop from mirroring.

The match was rather aggressive, and the weather didn’t help the situation. Whilst you watched your friends fly around the pitch, their blue and yellow cloak following them in their route, a nervous feeling settled in you as a heavy rumble shook the area.

You stood up from the spectator stand and started heading down the stairs, wanting to feel closer to your friends. However, as you looked up, the next thing you saw was a blinding lighting that struck straight into the ground, sending none other than Oliver Wood off his position straight into the wall of the spectator stand across the pitch. A loud scream left your lungs, your heart beating in a dangerous pace as you watched his unconscious body fall towards the ground before someone slowed him down mid-air. Looking down at the benches, you saw your father with his wand in his hand pointing towards Oliver’s limp body, slowly placing him down on the fake grass.

As you started running down the stairs, you never felt more determined. You needed to see him, feel his pulse, check his body for injuries. It was driving you crazy how slowly your body moved before you finally caught sight of him surrounded by a couple of healers as they placed him on a stretcher. Almost feeling him in your grasp, you started running towards the injured boy, but before you could have caught up with the healers, two arms wrapped around you, pulling you back against a strong chest.

“He is going to be okay,” you heard your father’s voice, trying to sooth your worries away.

“Let me see him. Please, dad,” you replied, your voice weak and shaky. He turned you around and pulled you into a fatherly hug, just like the ones you received when you were little. As you finally started calming down, he leaned back and cupped your cheeks, removing the tear stains from your face that you didn’t even realise you had under the heavy rain.

“The healers will help him, but they will not let you in just yet, so take a deep breath, sit down with me on the bench and as soon as they signal for me, I will let you go. Sounds like a good plan?” He asked, hoping you would be able to think reasonably. After a heavy sigh you nodded, knowing that you couldn’t possibly do anything for him. You headed back towards the benches with your father and as they blew the whistle again, you listened to the game, but your mind was somewhere else, to be exact on the boy that the healers rushed away from you before you could even check on him.

It felt like eternity before your father placed a hand on your shoulder and nodded towards the exit of the pitch. Without a word or a thankful look, you started running after the healer that stood at the gate. When you arrived you greeted him and followed him diligently to the medical wing. The path felt like you’ve been walking for hours, even though it was only a couple of minutes. You were impatient, you wanted to see Oliver for yourself, making sure he was okay.

As you reached the medical wing and the large wooden doors opened, your eyes frantically searching for Oliver. As you caught his figure at the back of the room, you rushed up to him and sat down on the small stool beside his bed and took his hand in yours, squeezing it reassuringly. Although it was you who needed to be reassured that he was alright. His eyes started slowly flattering before he finally opened them, looking around the room in confusion, groaning as he turned his head.

“Stay put, Wood,” you instructed him as you pulled your stool closer. “How are you feeling? Are you in a lot of pain?” You bombarded him with questions.

“I’m fine. My head and my back hurts, but I’m okay,” a small smile spread across his face as he squeezed your hand.

“You scared me,” you scolded him as you slapped the back of his hand gently, making him chuckle lightly.

“I didn’t mean to,” he replied with an innocent expression, but a hidden smile in the corner of his lips. “What happened exactly? I’m kind of blurry on the details.”

“A lightning struck beside you and it sent you straight into one of the spectator walls. When you started falling dad slowed you down to stop you from getting any further injuries,” you explained with a deep frown across your brows and concern lacing your eyes. “It was horrible,” you added with a shaky breath as you played with his hand in yours.

“Hey,” he called out to you in a soft tone, lifting his other hand to cup your cheek. “I’m perfectly fine, just a few little bruises,” he tried to reassure you, but your worry was still clear across your face. “Hey, did I ever tell you that I love the way you're screaming my name?” He chuckled softly as you felt your face burn under his intense gaze. He knew he needed to avert your attention, wanting to sooth your worries.

“What?” You asked, stunned.

“The last thing I remember is your loud cheer as you screamed my name,” he smirked proudly, enjoying as you played with his hand in your embarrassed state.

“I cheer for everyone,” you added in a silent tone, trying to avert his suspicions.

“I wish you would cheer only for me,” he sighed as he looked away from you, his gaze now fixed on the ceiling. A confused expression sat across your face as you lifted your gaze and looked at him.

“What do you mean?” You asked, completely baffled by his reply. For a single moment you believed he meant more than he let on, but a reasonable part of your brain quickly shooed those thoughts away.

“I meant what I said,” he replied nonchalantly.

“I can’t just cheer for you. I have to cheer for the whole team so we can all win,” you explained with a confused frown across your brows.

“I know. And I know it’s wrong of me, but it makes me jealous,” he spoke with a soft grimace, earning a surprised gasp from you. “I honestly don’t know what else to do to get your attention. At this point I just got no shame. I shamelessly try to catch your eyes, but every time I feel like you are looking at me, you go and distance yourself,” he scoffed. Heaving a heavy sigh, he turned back to you. “Do you think you could ever look at me like a man and not someone who is part of your father’s quidditch team or a simple friend? Do you think you would be able to like me at one point?” He asked, his eyes desperately searching for confirmation, starting your heart off in a quick pace.

A tiny smile started spreading across your face before it grew into a large grin and a loud laughter erupted from your lungs, throwing your head back in the process. Oliver sat beside you, having mixed feelings about your reaction. “You fool,” you chuckled as your laughter started dying down. “You dumb man” you continued shaking your head as you stood up from your stool and leaned above his bed, cupping his face. “How could I not look at you as a man when I already do?” You giggled happily as you closed the gap between the two of you, capturing his lips with yours. For a moment both of you forgot where you were, you just enjoyed being closer to each other, before a healer appeared and loudly scolded you for your behaviour, forcing you to part as though you were still children.

“Well, that’s certainly not what I expected,” he chuckled playfully. “A couple more of these and I will feel brand new,” he grinned.

“I guess you will have to wait for that otherwise the healers will kick me out,” you giggled in content.

“Not happening,” he shook his head as he grabbed your arm and pulled you back to him, attaching his lips to yours halfway, earning a shaky moan from you. Luckily this time the healers didn’t catch you and within a couple of hours you were helping Oliver getting back to his flat.

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Taglists are in reblog from now on

[flosbelova]

they don’t know about us

i’m back with another story lmao. also, after writing this, i realized how ironic it was. whoops.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

florence pugh x reader

summary: you and florence have been dating in secret. however, when she’s involved in a dating PR stunt to promote her new movie, you start to get worried and wonder if your relationship will ever meet the public eye.

fluffy with a hint of angst.

warnings: language, smutt-ish (18+)

word count: 3.2k+

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

you and florence have been dating for almost a year now. surprisingly, no one has found out. sure, the paparazzi have followed you guys around, but you were always careful not to look like a couple. but because everyone loves rumored romance, fans had begun speculating about your relationship. however, both you and florence have denied these “rumors” and state that you’re just “very good friends.”

but the thing is, it kills you every time you have to deny our relationship with florence.

you and florence met at an after party from an award show and instantly hit it off. within a couple weeks, she had asked you to be her girlfriend and you being a paranoid person, you told her that you’d think about it. she looked hurt at first and you felt stupid for turning her down the first time, but you came to your senses and finally said yes.

ever since then, you have both lived quietly in peace. you noticed that florence seemed to be content with the way things were: “secret.” and since it didn’t bother her that much, you figured that it shouldn’t bother you either.

when florence started filming “don’t worry, darling,” you would visit the set often and stay in her trailer. no one ever really batted an eye because you were usually in the corner and no one ever noticed you. when she wasn’t in a scene, she’d quickly run to her trailer and attack you with kisses. God, your make-outs felt like they could last an eternity. but they were usually cut short as a crew member would knock and tell florence that her scene was coming up.

fast forward to now, it’s time to promote the movie. however, because hollywood is hollywood, articles immediately came out stating that florence and her co-star, harry styles, were hollywood’s new “it-couple.” this killed you inside, obviously. but you chose not to say a word to florence because you wanted her movie to be big and for her to get more recognition.

press after press, magazines after magazines, interview after interview, photo shoots after photo shoots, articles after articles, you fucking name it. “harry styles and florence pugh: hollywood’s favorite couple.” God it killed you to see it. it was EVERYWHERE.

your family and friends that knew about you and florence kept messaging you asking if you two had broken up. you had to explain over and over that it was just for press and nothing else.

but then, you thought about it. was it really just for press? what if she started developing feelings for him? what if she actually leaves me for him? am i not good enough? why do we have to be secret? would it kill her reputation if we said anything?

these questions were racing through your mind like crazy. finally, after much thinking and trying your best to meditate on it, you decide to ask florence the question.

—

it’s sunday morning, it’s a rainy day in LA, what an odd sight. you get your coffee and take a sip, enjoying the sound of rain hitting the roof and windows. you loved the rain.

you hear footsteps coming from behind you and feel soft arms embrace you. florence rests her head on your shoulder.

“good morning baby,” she says in her adorable morning voice.

you turn your head to face her and give her a quick peck on her nose. she scrunches her nose and oh god, your heart might as well have jumped out your chest. she was so cute every single time she’d scrunch her nose.

y/n focus. you have important questions to ask florence. fucking focus.

you let go from her embrace in which you heard a whine from your girlfriend. you walk to the kitchen and put your coffee down on the counter and ask florence to sit down.

“babe, can you please sit down? we need to talk.”

you can tell that florence was caught off-guard with the expression on her face. she sits down across from you and looks at you with a worried smile.

“y/n, is anything wrong?”

you can hear your own heartbeat at this point. in fact, that’s all you hear. suddenly words aren’t coming in your brain. focus y/n. focus. you take a deep breathe and come clean.

“okay, i know we’re a secret and it’s fun being sneaky and all, but i gotta admit, it’s killing me. i also have to admit that this whole PR stunt relationship with harry is killing me. look harry’s a great guy and all but—“

“i know,” florence says cutting you off.

“oh,” you say feeling somewhat assured.

“y/n, you can’t hide anything from me. your face said it all,” florence says.

“your face said it all,” damn your expressive face.

“oh,” was all you could utter.

“i’ve started to notice when you started to get distant. in that moment i knew that it bothered you.” florence says afflicted.

you didn’t speak. you couldn’t think clearly. did i really get distant?

“y/n? are you gonna say something?” florence asked anxiously.

“um, what are we gonna do? i mean, what are you gonna do? are you gonna say something? it’s been two months since the movie came out and people are still talking about it—“ you ramble.

“y/n,” florence cuts you off again. “you know how this shit works. it’s the ‘hollywood culture.’ things like this aren’t gonna die down in just a couple of months, especially for something this big.”

“then what’s gonna happen with us?” you ask hopelessly.

“nothing will happen. we just have to wait until this dies down, sweetheart.” florence says, reaching for your hand, trying to sound reassuring.

you pull your hand back. it’s clearly shown in your face that you’re conflicted and angry. “florence, i don’t want to wait for this to die down. i’m tired of us being kept a secret. i’m exhausted of having to explain to my family and friends that we’re still a couple and that this stuff is just for press. i’m tired of having to worry if you’re developing feelings for him. i’m tired of having to worry if you’ll leave me for him. my heart aches every single time i see you both on the cover of a magazine when i go grocery shopping. i love you too much to let you go.”

florence furrows her brows and looks choleric. “why can’t you just understand that i love you? why can’t you understand that this stunt is JUST a stunt to me? maybe because you’ve been so busy being so distant and jumping to conclusions. y/n, i’m exhausted too. i really am,” she says, her voice breaking. “do you know how much it breaks me because you’ve been so distant? this past month, i’ll try to hug you, and you barely hug back. and when i try to make conversation with you, you barely respond. i miss you y/n.”

your eyes are filled with tears at this point and look up to see florence with tears falling down, clearly heartbroken and in agony. on instinct, you walk towards her and pull her into a tight hug. florence hugs you back and instantly breaks down in your arms. you stroke her hair and kiss her on her forehead.

“i’m sorry,” you whisper quietly.

you couldn’t help but feel guilty that you made her feel this way. it’s true, you had been distant. you had been so caught up with worrying about the “what if’s,” and didn’t think for a second about what florence might have been feeling. this movie rested on her back and she had to do whatever she could to make sure that this movie was gonna get the recognition it deserved. even with this whole stunt, florence never questioned your relationship for one second. you did.

God, i feel like a dumbass.

you grab florence’s face and wipe the tears from her eyes. it pained you to see her cry, even when she was acting. only this time, she wasn’t acting. this was real. this was a real life situation.

florence smiled weakly at you and quietly said in almost a whisper, “i’m gonna say something soon. it’s about time that people knew.” she sniffs.

your heart dropped to your stomach. you started to regret even letting her know. i should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

florence clears her throat and continues, “it’s good that you brought this up. for weeks, i’ve been thinking how to bring this about to the public— i even confided in harry and asked for his advice,” she laughs softly.

you look at her with worry in your eyes and florence easily reads you like a book.

“don’t worry, darling. i got this handled,” florence says smiling. “also, pun heavily intended.”

you roll your eyes and chuckle lightly and hug her tightly once more.

—

a week after your conversation, you check your phone and notice that it’s filled with a couple notifications. you wondered why since your phone usually had tumbleweeds passing by. you noticed that your calendar had a very important notification. you went to check and oh shit.

how could i forget?

it’s your one year anniversary with florence and you completely forgot.

what the fuck is wrong with me?!

florence barges in the room with a big smile on her face and a tray full of food. she sets the tray on your bedside nightstand and kisses you on the cheek.

“good morning, baby! happy one year anniversary! look i made you pancakes with chocolate chips— just the way you like it— and look! i cut the strawberries to make them into hearts!” she squeals.

you looked at her dumb founded and all you could do was grab her face and kiss her passionately. she moans quietly and moves to straddle your lap without breaking the kiss. you move your hands from her face and move it to her waist and pull her in closer.

florence grabs the back of your neck and pulls you in much closer, breaking any other space in between the both of you. you feel her tongue run across your bottom lip to test the waters and you slightly open your mouth and let her tongue slip in. you let out a soft moan as her tongue touches yours. she breaks the kiss to catch her breath for a moment and proceeds to leave trails of kisses down your jaw to the crook of your neck. you feel her nibble on your neck and you couldn’t help but moan.

the sound of your moans have to be on florence’s top list of favorite sounds because what she did next made you jump.

as she continued to leave wet trails of kisses across your neck, florence slides her hand under your shirt and squeezes your boobs and runs her thumb over your nipple.

you move your chest more towards her, but as soon as you do so, she removes her hand and moves it back to your face and presses her lips gently on yours. she pulls back and looks at you alluringly.

you give her a pout. “damn we were about to get to the good part, why’d you stop?”

she strokes your cheek with her thumb, smiles, and shrugs. she gives you a quick peck on your lips.

“eat your breakfast,” she says to you.

“you’re a damn tease,” you say annoyed.

she winks at you and gets up from your lap. she leaves the room and you grab your tray and follow her to the kitchen. you took the plates from the tray and set them on the island table.

“why’d you get up? i made that to be eaten in bed! do you not get the concept of breakfast in bed?” she asks sarcastically.

“my bad. do you want me to go back?” you respond.

“no, you already made the effort to bring the food here, so we might as well eat.” she says.

—

“okay, i have a confession to make. i kinda forgot that our anniversary was today,” you say embarrassed.

florence chuckled, “i know.”

“well to make up for it, can i treat you out to lunch?” you ask nervously biting your lip hoping for a satisfactory answer.

florence had always been vocal about eating out because she didn’t want your relationship to be exploited. and because LA was always buzzing with paparazzi, you and florence usually chose to get food delivered or, florence would cook both your meals.

but to your surprise, florence says, “yeah. let’s do it.”

—

you drove to this restaurant in west hollywood that most celebrities were known to go to. they always had good services and their appetizers were scrumptious.

when you walked inside, you noticed how many eyes were on you and florence. you wondered why and then you realized… florence was holding your hand.

you tried to let go but florence tightened her grip and whispered in your ear, “it’s okay,” and gave your cheek a quick peck. you knew damn well people noticed that.

when you finally got to your table, you noticed how many heads were turning. your heart started beating fast, chills went down your spine, and your hand started to sweat.

after you got your meals, you nudged florence’s arm.

“baby people are looking.”

she looks up at you as she brings her food to her mouth and says, “let them look.”

you went back to your food and tried to focus on eating, but of course, you couldn’t. so, you checked your phone and you guessed it, your phone was buzzing with notifications from your friends and social media mentions.

“baby, put your phone down and eat. we’ll get out of here quicker if you finish your food quicker.” florence says, taking your phone and setting it next to her.

you sigh and continue eating.

after you both finish, you look out the window and noticed all the cars and people passing by. the view from the outside was so nice. the sky finally cleared up and LA was back to being sunny.

you didn’t notice it then, but florence had snapped a picture of you admiring the view from the restaurant window.

“alright, y/n, wanna get out of here?” florence asks.

“yeah, let’s go home.” you respond.

you insisted on paying the bill since it was your treat, and made sure to tip your waiter extra money.

after paying the bill, florence stands up and grabs your hand. your eyes widened for a quick second because she was holding your hand in public, once again.

that same night, florence posted the off-guard picture that she took of you and posted it on her Instagram with the caption: “my favourite view. happy one year my love.”

you decided to check your Instagram and saw that your photo was the first thing you saw on your feed. you did a double take because you couldn’t believe that florence had actually posted you.

you checked the comments and it consisted of avid fans who were excited, shocked, and in disbelief.

“OH MY GOD I KNEW IT”

“HOLY SHIT WHAT??”

“wait, what about her and harry??”

“i thought her and harry were dating?? i’m so confused”

“florence!” you scream out from the living room.

“yes, darling?” she screams back from the kitchen.

she walks towards the living room and as soon as she gets near the couch, you stand up, and try to hug her eagerly, but instead you both fall to the ground. you quickly get up and help florence.

“i’m sorry, but what the hell?” you ask in shock.

florence furrows her brows and looks annoyed. “what do you mean, ‘what the hell?’ you tackled me—“

“you actually posted me?” you interrupt.

she changes her mood and says, “oh that? yeah i did. i decided it was time, and believe me, i was getting tired of the stunt too.”

you couldn’t help but smile. you kissed her so quickly that she almost fell. “i love you so fucking much.”

—

the next day, your phone was still buzzing with notifications but this time, it was double the notifications. you decided to check your phone and saw articles supporting your relationship, saw other articles that explained hollywood’s infamous PR stunts, and unfortunately, you noticed that some articles were trying to paint florence as some sort of “cheater.” this angered you to your core.

why the fuck would they accuse her of cheating? that’s a whole wad of bullshit.

you get up from your bed and walk to your kitchen. florence was already there preparing coffee. she turns around and yelps.

“Y/N!” florence yells.

you laugh. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to scare you.”

you walk towards her and give her a big embrace. once you pull back, you don’t let go just yet. you give florence a quick kiss and finally let go.

“my phone has been buzzing all morning” you say annoyed.

“yeah mine too,” florence says, looking defeated.

you notice her expression. you grab her hand. “baby what’s wrong?”

florence let’s go of your hand and waves off her annoyance, “i saw an article that called me a cheater and i’m not gonna lie it ruined my morning.” she turned around to the island table and took a sip of her coffee.

you felt your anger rise up, but you calmed yourself. you wrapped your arms around florence’s waist from behind, and hugged her until she felt better. as soon as you do this, she turns around and wraps her arms around you, returning the embrace.

“i’ll be okay. my publicist called me this morning and said that she cleared up any rumors or accusations.” florence says, sighing.

“okay, that’s good,” you say, stroking her hair. you gave her a kiss on her cheek. “is everything gonna be alright?” you ask.

“yeah. i’m sure they will.” florence says in a hopeful tone. “whatever happens, i’ll be okay; we’ll be okay.”

you kiss her gently and whisper, “i love you, flo.”

“i love you more, y/n,” florence returns, and presses her soft lips onto yours.

—

a couple of weeks passed and you and florence’s ‘incident’ was basically last year’s issue. magazines and articles had finally shut up and stopped accusing florence of being a cheater.

you had wondered why they would even call her that since the relationship between her and harry weren’t even real to begin with. almost everyone knew that it was a PR stunt anyway, and yet, they still called her that. fucking hollywood.

however, you had noticed that florence’s mood had improved more within the weeks since she was finally able to post you. any chance she got, she would post you. as much as it embarrassed you, you kind of enjoyed the attention. you enjoyed finally being able to go out in public, hand in hand with your girlfriend, kiss her, without a care in the world. you both promised to always tell each other anything, and both of you would do your utmost best to fix them. all was well in the world. you loved each other and didn’t give a fuck about what other people had to say. and that’s all that mattered. you both loved one another.

the end

[elytrafemme]

i’ve been thinking a lot about... living, and being a whole person, recently. i don’t really know how to phrase this or explain it, because i’m not going to trauma-dump or whatever here, and personal things stay personal. but. maybe there’s a point in talking about this.

last year, i kind of hit rock bottom. in like, february, a lot happened. and that summer i spent picking up the pieces, trying to reconcile the idea that i was still a person after everything? not even in a heavily dark way just, like, the idea that you can be surrounded by not the best crowd of people in not the best situation and when you’re separated from that, you still exist. you weren’t trapped there, but you don’t even know what comes next for you. 

i went to an arts camp that year. and when august came, i started taking long walks, listening to music and getting sunshine in and everything. and i started having a nice thing going with my current girlfriend, and i got closer with a lot of my friends, and like... i dunno. 

ended up seeing two school plays that year, both with my girlfriend beside me. instead of opting out in a project and just writing a boring essay, i baked a cake with some friends. i hung out with two people on halloween, i baked with a lot of people that year wow, nearly got confessed to by gf before her friend showed up profusely bleeding and interrupting us, spent eight hours total with my cousin-in-law for prom prep, it was really lovely.

and now i just think about like. i watched heathers with my girlfriend and she stayed over longer than anybody else used to, and i walked to the local park a few times just on a whim to see my friend and we just aimlessly talk. i’m taking a roadtrip to a different state to visit a college, and in september i might be flying to another state to go to a meeting for activism work. i want to go to homecoming and prom and graduation and spend my wednesday afternoons going to a local theatre with my girlfriend to watch the great gatsby over and fucking over again, and 

and i don’t know! i just. i think there’s something really, really wonderful about getting to a point in life where you realize that you can be a person, and other people want that person to be in the world, and i can just! i can. i can do things, you know? 

i don’t know why i’m sharing this again, i guess maybe because i think it’s helpful. part of the reason i wrote cough syrup was to kind of make peace with the fact that my life had fallen apart and left me with the scrambled pieces of a lot. and like, approaching nearly one year of writing it, it’s kind of crazy to think that i pulled myself out of a hell and am like... okay. i am okay! 

it’s a little scary to me to think about the fact that there was a point in time where i genuinely thought i would be just... a husk. drop out of college after two years and fly to a different country just to watch my 'loved ones’ fall apart and leave me alone with nowhere to go. genuinely thinking at the age of fifteen that i wouldn’t have a future that included anybody i really cared about, or any identity for myself. i thought i was this angry asshole, and i was an angry asshole, but that’s not all i had to be. 

so. i guess i’m just... i don’t know. i don’t know if this helps. if this is reassuring or just another instance of me talking about my past in vague ways and everyone going very cool mare go read some ao3 fic now and save us the favor. maybe it’s kind of both depending on the time.

i’m really happy that i’m alive. but i’m more happy that i got to be alive with myself, you know? it’s so, so lovely that i get to exist in the same time as you. it’s also really lovely i get to exist in the same time as myself.

[shreddedparchment]

A Wife for Thor Pt.17

Happy Times

03/05/2021

Pairing: King!Thor x Reader          Word Count: 5,336

Warnings: angst, smut, fluff, big smut, smutty smut, talk of pregnancy, infertility, trouble with conception

A/N: This is the big one. The one I’ve been waiting to share. To write out and perfect and I hope it hits you all the way it did me to write it. I love this chapter for many reasons. The smut is probably one of my favorites to have written. I don’t know why. I hope y’all enjoy it. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo

Something settles between you and Thor after your sobbing conversation.

Thor has always been sweet with you after your marriage but he seems intent. Like he’s playing catch up and watching him is exhausting.

You know it’s your fault. He probably feels like he has to give you reassurance and two days of watching him fluster, you finally reach out to grab his hand before he can get too far away from you.

"Thor wait," you sigh, pulling him back towards the bed.

You’re not dressed yet, wearing only his heather gray t-shirt. It’s stretched a little around the neck because you’d been pulling it a lot last night in your eagerness to have him on you.

"What is it, my cherub?" he worries, sitting back down beside you as you pull yourself up to sit too.

His hands fly towards you, an instinct, as he places his hands on your hips then slides one up along to your waist then your ribs where you flinch a little from the surprise of his touch.

You’re still not used to him touching you in some places. Not his fault. Not really yours either. You don’t mind. It’s just new.

"Nothing, Thor. Everything is fine. And that's the point."

With a sigh you get up, letting go of his hand as you make your way to the cord by the door that calls in one of your staff.

"I was going to go get it for you," Thor explains. “I know you’re hungry.”

"I know, but Thor...what's going on with you?”

Sitting beside him again, you take his hand and lace your fingers through his as he reaches to touch you again.

You pull his hands onto your lap and sit with one leg folded up on the bed while the other hangs off the edge.

The skin of your thigh draws his attention and he takes back his right hand so that he can reach out and stroke it, pushing the shirt up just a smidge.

“What do you mean?” he asks, not understanding your own confusion.

“I mean, watching you fuss over me has been...I’m exhausted just watching you.”

Thor’s hand never stops stroking but there’s a small understanding that smooths his creased forehead.

“Oh,” Thor smiles a little sadly, and it almost rips your heart out.

“Thor,” you fret, suddenly terrified, voice rising in pitch.

You scoot closer to him to close the gap and he lets his hand slide up underneath your shirt to wrap around your side to hold you. You rest your knee on his own, also folded up on the bed so that he could sit facing you.

Meeting your eyes at the sound of grief in your voice, his beautiful blue eye goes wide, “No, cherub. Do not worry for me. I’m more than alright. I know that I have been a bit enthusiastic in my attention to your needs but it was only because I wanted to make it clear.”

“Make what clear?”

He shrugs one shoulder, pouting his lips as he shakes his head and turns his gaze down to your hand still holding tightly to his.

“That you are my one priority,” he looks up, smiling wide but it’s somewhat forced. “Of course you are. My beautiful wife.”

Your heart drops into the pit of your stomach and you bite your lip as your mind races to fix this.

“Is this because of what happened the other morning? Because of me?”

You know it is, and even as he shakes his head, you know he’s lying.

“Thor…” you warn him, “Honesty, remember?”

His head freezes mid shake and with a small sigh, he nods.

“I never want to see you cry like that again,” he confesses.

Without missing a beat, you throw yourself forward to wrap your arms around his neck and practically sit in his lap as he responds instantly and embraces you.

He holds you tight, tighter than he normally does which makes your fear double. He buries his face against your neck and breathes in deep as you reach up to stroke his short blonde locks.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper for him. “I was being silly the other morning.”

You weren’t though. Your insecurities had been founded in a real problem. It no longer applied though, the moment he accepted you as his wife, so you shouldn’t hold it against him.

“I believe you, Thor. I know that you love me. And I appreciate everything you’ve done these past two days, but you don’t have to try so hard. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to.”

“Your worries were not unfounded,” Thor disagrees, unwilling to let you trivialize your feelings. “I once asked you to do something that affected your image of me. I gave you those doubts. Even if they hold no merit now, they were my words.”

“Fine, I had reason to be upset, but Thor this is too much If you keep going at this pace, you’re going to wear yourself out emotionally. I don’t want you to resent your love for me. I appreciate you wanting to make sure I know how you feel--and I do know--but you trying so hard feels almost as bad as why I was upset in the first place.”

The confusion on his godly face is heartbreaking.

“How-?”

“I don’t want to be a burden on you. I want our marriage to be a partnership. We’ll figure things out together, work through things as a team. You were on a team with the Avengers, right? Didn’t you all do much better together than you could do separately?

“And when any of you did break away, how did things go then? Not good, I’m guessing.”

Thor nods, “Not good.”

“I don’t want us to break away from each other. I’m glad you understand how much the way we started had me worried, but I get it too now. I know you don’t want Jane. And I’ll be better about my insecurities.

“So, can you stop running around like crazy and just be with me?”

Reaching up you place both of your hands on the sides of his neck, wrapping your hands around the back to give him a gentle shake.

He takes his own hands and traces your back from shoulder to hips then back up before he pulls you in against his chest to simply hold you.

You wrap your arms around his neck and tuck your head beneath his chin.

“I guess I should probably cancel that chocolatier I hired just for you then?”

You shove your face against the skin of his collarbone and laugh a smothered laugh as he presses his lips against your hair.

“Oh, my god!” you shout, voice still muffled against his pecs.

Thor chuckles, then reaches down to take hold of your chin and tilt your head back until he can lean over you and press his lips to yours.

He kisses you again and again, slow languid pecks that smack quietly, wetly as his lips begin to part. A stirring between your legs makes you shiver and Thor quickly hooks his hands behind your knees to pull you onto his lap where you straddle him easily.

The position places you higher and as your heights are reversed, you grasp the sides of his face. You trace the shape of his top lip with your tongue and he sighs heavily. A huff of mild frustration before he lifts you, flipping you at the same time to press you down onto the mattress.

He kisses the corner of your lips, making a trail down along your jaw to your neck where he licks and suckles driving your sex absolutely wild. It contracts, searching desperately for filling.

“You-drive-me-absolutely-mad-” Thor gasps between wet kisses.

“Oh, Thor…” you whisper, a breathy moan that makes him growl.

He pulls you up for only a second as he takes the shirt off your body then pushes you back onto the bed as his mouth finds your breast to nibble.

He circles your nipples, raising pebbled peaks while his hands trace every curve of your body.

Somewhere in your mind, you’re aware that the bedroom door opens and a timid Estrid’s voice floats in.

“Good morning, Your Majesties. Are you ready for break-? Oh!”

And just as quickly as her voice floated in, it’s gone, the click of the door prompting Thor to stand and pull off his pajama pants.

He strokes himself, drawing your eyes to his large cock but instead of filling you up the way your cunt desperately wants, he pushes your legs apart and up towards you.

One long stroke of his tongue to drive your folds apart pulls a shuddering moan from your parted lips.

“Breakfast indeed,” he mutters, then latches onto your core to suckle on your nub then lap at you hungrily making you quiver.

But you want him inside you. You long to be full with him, pumped with his seed.

He notices your reluctance to his feast, your impatience. It makes him angry? No. It makes him want to change your mind.

He throws himself down flat on his stomach, your legs tossed over his shoulders as his hands make their way to tweak your nipples as his tongue pushes inside of you.

You gasp, arching your back when he pulls back to trace deliciously tortuous circles around your clit.

Like they have a mind of their own, your hands grasp his golden hair, holding him still as he presses more firmly against your nub. You thrust against him, unable to help yourself as you chase your release.

Thor brings his hands back down, hooking them against the fold of your legs and pelvis, shaking his head from side to side as he follows your enthusiastic lead.

The lurid sounds of his mouth devouring you push you over the edge and you buck against him as heat rushes from your core up into the rest of your body to bathe you in ecstasy.

As it spreads, you go numb to anything other than the buzz of your climax.

Thor traces kisses along your thighs, kissing up to your hips, stomach--where you flinch from the unexpected touch--between your breasts and finally your lips.

The taste of you on him is intoxicating. The satisfaction that makes him moan against your lips seduces you again, bringing your legs up against his hips as you spread yourself wide for him.

“I want you inside me,” you breathe, unable to find the volume to do more than gasp at him.

Thor kisses you hard, mouth open wide as he tongues your mouth, exploring the soft heated wetness of your tongue.

With one hand he reaches between your bodies and in one smooth push, he’s got his cock all the way in.

He groans loudly. You moan with him.

“Oh, fuck…”

You’re lost in his body again, the sturdy weight of him pressing you into your bed.

He thrusts into you slowly at first, feeling every twitch of your cunt as you take him.

But with your breathy moans, his excitement grows and his soft thrusts turn into hard pumps.

“Faster, Thor,” you beg.

He throws himself behind you, lifting your leg to wrap it around his waist as he pulls your back against his chest. One hand he uses to massage your breast while the other he uses to hold your leg up to keep you open wide.

You throw your head back, searching for him and he kisses you messily, all tongues and gasping moans.

His cock slides in and out of you smoothly, his pelvis slapping against your ass with a quick rhythm.

“Thor,” you warn, your body pushing towards your second climax.

He buries his face against your neck, lips latching on in a lazy kiss as his focus has shot down to his cock.

Holding your body as still as he possibly can without hurting you, he fucks you quickly, bringing his free hand down to press and flick your clit as he chases his own fix.

He grunts. It’s a growl of exertion.

Your breathing is labored. A pant as you cry out for release.

Thor comes first, biting down on your neck with surprising control while his hips stutter and he shoots his hot seed deep within you.

His hand is relentless as it works you and only a moment later, your toes curl. You lose your breath, a sharp cry of ecstasy piercing the sex haze as your body is overcome.

Thor overworks you, stretching your orgasm for as long as he can while your body twitches within his arms as he waits for you to be more pliable.

As your toes uncurl, Thor’s fingers slowly stop. He traces your side, grasping your breasts to squeeze with lusty admiration as both your bodies come down from their high.

“That’s what I call, a good morning,” Thor says breathlessly.

You chuckle, exhausted and as you shut your eyes, you begin to drift back to sleep.

Thor notices, pushing himself up to press a kiss to your shoulder. Then your neck. Then your cheek.

“Wake up, love,” he urges you. “We have appointments to keep this morning.”

You groan, wanting nothing more than to just stay here in bed and do nothing all day but this over and over.

Thor laughs.

“I know, cherub. Should we call in sick?” he asks, half-serious.

“Ugh, no,” you sigh. “I have to go down to the park. And I have a meeting with the ambassadors at one.”

“What do they want?” Thor asks, wary of the Earth ambassadors because of their previous stance on getting Thor married to someone from Earth without an ounce of care as to who, so long as it was quickly.

“They want a report on our baby making progress.”

Thor sighs.

“Will you tell them about this morning? Should we have just made a video?”

You understand his frustration. You’re pretty tired of having your lack of a baby thrown in your face. You’re not sure how much longer you can keep telling them that you and Thor are trying and that when you have news, you’ll let them know.

“You just want a video for yourself,” you tease him, hoping to lighten the mood.

It doesn’t work. “I hate that they call you for this. As if their meddling will help anything. I know it stresses you.”

Slowly, you turn to face him, hands pressed against his cheeks.

“I’m okay, puppy,” you promise him. “I’ll make sure to tell them today that they can’t call me for this anymore.”

“Will they listen?”

“I don’t know,” you admit. “But maybe if I tell them that they’re stressing me out with all of these progress meetings and that it might be hindering any possibility of conception they’ll leave me alone.”

“Is that possible?” Thor worries, propping himself up on his elbow as his hand gently strokes your lower belly.

“It is possible for stress to make having a baby harder. That’s why I thought that maybe we should take a break from trying but…”

Thor’s lips curl up into a smirk, “There is no way I am letting you take this perfection away from me.”

His hand gives your torso a once over before coming back to rest on your lower belly.

With a laugh, you nod.

“I know. I feel the same way. I think we should just stop thinking of it as a way to have a baby and just...do what we just did. Enjoy ourselves.”

“What we just did was more than enjoy ourselves,” Thor disagrees. “That was worship.”

“Then we’ll keep worshiping each other. Over and over and over and over-”

“Mmmm,” Thor wiggles his eyebrows at you and you laugh as he leans down to kiss your lips.

Your stomach suddenly growls.

“Now that I’ve had my breakfast,” Thor says, turning and getting to his feet. “Let’s get some for you.”

As you sit up, he tosses his t-shirt back at you and you slip it over your head quickly.

Thor moves to the door and pulls it open, nonchalantly peeking outside.

“Ah, Estrid, you’re still here. Good. Her Majesty would like some breakfast, please.”

“Right away, Your Majesty,” you hear Estrid say and your cheeks burn with the realization that Estrid literally just stood outside the doors of your bedroom, listening to Thor fuck you senseless.

As Thor shuts the door, he catches your bashful expression and laughs.

“I’m fairly certain that wasn’t the first time she’s heard us, cherub. No need for embarrassment.”

“I was so loud,” you whimper.

“A point of pride for me, I assure you.”

You bite your lip and Thor shakes his head.

“Shall we make some more noises for Estrid to overhear when she comes back with our food?”

Like a switch, you’re smiling, crawling away from Thor as quickly as you can across his massive bed.

You get only inches before his large hand closes around your ankle and he’s yanking you back to him.

“Come, let me have seconds,” he teases and you laugh as he pounces.

~~~~~~~~~~

Time has a way of getting away from you.

Your days become routine in New Asgard. More than they were before Tony, Bruce, and Jane showed up.

The security setup for the palace takes a long time. Bruce stays the entire month, but Tony goes home to Pepper every week for the weekend.

Jane is a constant presence in your daily life. Despite this, she doesn’t talk to you. Not often.

You tried a couple times to build some kind of rapport with her, but she’s resistant and you give up after the first week of her stay.

If she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you, then you won’t force your friendship on her.

She’s not evil. It’s not like she’s mean to you or outright ignoring you. She returns your greeting in the morning and at night your goodbye, but otherwise she makes no attempt to talk to you.

Thor doesn’t see it. Then again, he’s hardly ever with both of you at the same time.

His meetings with Jane take place everyday after lunch. You’re busy with the city park’s construction so you’re left out of their meetups. This doesn’t worry you.

Thor always gives you a breakdown of what Jane reports to him and you trust him. There isn’t an inch in your heart that believes anything funny is going on. Thor gives you no reason to doubt him.

Loki makes regular visits to the observation stations that the Warriors Three and Sif are tasked with watching and he keeps you and Thor informed. As of now though, there’s nothing to inform you of.

“Nothing’s changed,” Loki assures you both as you lounge in the small sitting room just down the hall from the dining room you, Thor, Loki, and your guests always eat in.

“Do you still feel it? The thing we’re keeping an eye out for?” you ask him, putting your book down on the small coffee table in front of you.

“Oh, yes,” Loki nods. “Whatever it is, is still coming.”

“What’s taking it so long?” you wonder, frustrated with all the suspense.

“Lack of power?” Thor wonders aloud, standing at the wide window that looks out to the sea.

He’s got his thinking cap on.

“No,” Loki shakes his head, pulling down on the dark jade silk he’s wearing over a perfectly ironed white button up.

He’s the complete opposite of Thor in dress who’s taken to wearing a pair of dark jeans and various styles of casual tops from t-shirts to long sleeves that he pushes up to his elbows.

“No, I don’t think power is the problem. It feels more like strategic planning. Whatever they’re waiting for, hasn’t happened yet.”

Loki moves towards you, holds out his hand and you take it, letting him pull you to your feet.

Almost as if on cue, Bruce suddenly pokes his head in through the open doorway, “Hey.”

“Hi, Bruce,” you greet, suddenly realizing what time it is.

“Lunch?” he asks, eager for a meal.

He’s always starving after he’s been cooped up in the basement security room all morning.

“Lunch,” you agree. “Thor?”

“Hm?” Thor turns towards you, your arm already hooked on Loki’s elbow.

“Coming? It’s lunch time,” you inform him.

“Right, of course,” he smiles at you then moves to take you from Loki who gladly releases you to Thor who guides your arm around his own elbow.

Lunch is uneventful. The same as it always is.

The food is delicious and the meal is hearty.

Thor devours his lamb, Loki nibbles.

Thor sits at the head of the table and you sit beside him, where he likes you to be. Loki across from you. Jane and Bruce sit at the opposite end of the table and anyone else who happens to be around takes up the remaining seats.

Seeing as today is Saturday, Tony is not in his usual spot across from Bruce.

As you sit beside Thor, he reaches over to take your hand, shoveling his food into his mouth with one hand while you also try and fail to cut your lamb with one hand.

You sigh and then laugh, finally pulling Thor out of his thoughts.

“What is it?” he looks around to see if anyone has said a joke, but you’re the only one not focused on anyone but him.

“I need my hand,” you explain, and smile.

“Oh, sorry,” Thor says.

He lets you go but his hand dives down underneath the table to take gentle hold of your thigh.

This touch doesn’t surprise you. You’ve gotten used to Thor’s need to touch you. It’s not overt, usually. Not like he has to be draped around you. He just likes to feel you close.

A hand along your back, fingers tickling the small hairs on the back of your head, your hand held gently, or like now, a hand gently squeezing the flesh of your thigh.

You chuckle as you cut your meat, putting a forkful into your mouth. As you chew, Thor stares at you, smiling softly at your amusement.

“Have I been monopolizing you?” he wonders.

“A little,” you admit. “But I like it. I like when you touch me.”

“I like touching you,” he admits.

“Mmm,” you wiggle your eyebrows once and place your elbow on the table to lean towards him as if you’re about to whisper a secret. “What kind of touches?”

Thor clears his throat, swallows hard, and licks his lips as he tries to guess your mood.

“All kinds,” he whispers for you, leaning in closer.

“Even the ones that make me wiggle?”

“Especially the ones that make you wiggle,” Thor replies adamantly. 

You chuckle and he smiles wide, leaning the rest of the way to indicate he wants a kiss.

Putting your fork down, you reach over to his ear and pull him towards you. You angle his head a little more so that you can kiss him easily and both of you laugh a little as your lips meet.

He pulls back once, then leans back in to give you a peck. Then another. And another. And another. For half a minute, he simply gives you as many smooches as he can while Loki purposely avoids looking at your display.

“I love you,” Thor whispers to you, making your heart leap in your chest and take off like a racehorse as butterflies fill your tummy.

A scraping chair pulls both your attention to the opposite end of the table.

Jane stands, moving around her seat and then pushing it in.

“Well, as delicious as that was, I’ve gotta get back to the tower. There’s supposed to be some sort of midday aurora or something? I don’t want to miss it.

“Thor? Are we still on for two o’clock?”

“Of course,” Thor nods, smiling at her. “See you at two."

She leaves the dining room, every pair of eyes on her departure but you find that only Loki’s brow is crinkled with curiosity.

After lunch, you and Thor retreat to his office, the last room on your floor.

Well, it’s your office too now. After Thor’s wish that you wouldn’t make any kind of office for yourself too far from where he might see you, he’d bought you a sizable desk and bookshelf and had them installed in his office on the wall opposite his own desk.

It’s still a fairly large room so there’s plenty of space for both of you to move around and do what you need to.

Today, you’ve chosen to take a break and grab a novel from your shelf that you’ve been meaning to read.

After sitting at your desk for a chapter, you get up and move towards Thor’s desk where he’s sitting pouring over paperwork. You reach out, nose still in your book, and turn his swivel chair a little so that you can sit on his lap.

Thor doesn’t even look up from his work as he spreads his legs a little wider to offer you one of his massive thighs, and an outstretched arm ready to wrap around your waist once you’re settled.

He gives you a gentle squeeze once you’re in his arms but otherwise neither of you make a fuss.

You’re allowed only about thirty minutes of peace before a knock on the office doors pull both your gazes up.

“Come in,” Thor says, hand relaxed on the small stack of paperwork he’s been reading through.

The door creaks open and large brown eyes peek through.

“Jane?” Thor worries, looking at the small clock on his desk which tells him that she’s half an hour early and she also never comes to him. “What’s wrong?”

“Sorry to bother you both,” Jane says which already sounds odd seeing as she hardly ever includes you in anything. “But I have something I need to show you, Thor.”

“Of course,” he nods, and you’re already getting up off of his lap. “I’ll come see you later, cherub.”

He leans down and kisses you but guides you to sit in his seat, which you do.

You watch him go, shutting the door behind him as Jane leads him off, stealing a precious half hour from you.

Disappointed, you sigh and shut your book. There’s no way you’ll be able to concentrate now.

Luckily, you’re spared having to find something new to do by a second knock on the door.

“Come in,” you say with another sigh.

“Your Majesty?” Estrid looks towards your desk but when she doesn’t see you at your desk, her eyes search the room.

“What’s the matter, Estrid?”

“Oh,” she smiles when she spots you. “‘Tis the fifteenth, Your Majesty.”

Her reminder hits you like a bolt of lightning and you get up as quickly as you can.

“I keep forgetting!” you complain to yourself but with Estrid hot on your heels you hurry down the hall to your bedroom where inside you find Dr. Wilson and Doctor Alric waiting at the small breakfast table.

“Good afternoon, Dr. Wilson? Dr. Alric?” you stop a few feet from them as the curtsy and bow respectively.

“Good afternoon, Your Majesty,” they greet.

“Another blood test today?” you ask, already rolling up the sleeve of the oversized sweater you’d chosen this morning.

“Actually,” Dr. Alric begins. “There will be no need for a blood test today, Your Majesty.”

“What? But I thought-?”

“You’re pregnant, Your Majesty,” Dr. Wilson says, no prompting or lead up.

She just says it, and you freeze.

With wide eyes you look from doctor to doctor completely confused by what it seems their saying.

Do you dare hope that you heard them correctly?!

“I’m what?”

“You’re with child, m’am,” Dr. Alric assures you. “Dr. Wilson and I were finally able to find a way to test your blood for an Asgardian and human mixed child. Since our genetic makeups are so different, it took a bit of creativity and-”

Dr. Wilson reaches out to place her hand on Dr. Alric’s forearm, “We won’t bore you with the medicine behind it, but we tested as far back as we could with the samples of your blood that we kept just in case we managed to find a way to get a conclusive result and you’re about three months. A little less. You will have conceived just after your marriage. Perhaps on your honeymoon?”

Slowly you start to understand what they’re saying and a smile begins to spread across your face.

Can it be true?

“I’m really pregnant?” you check again, because you’ve wanted it for so long.

“Yes,” Dr. Wilson smiles at you. “It’ll be just a tiny swell right now. You might not even notice the change yet.”

“I’m pregnant!” you gasp, laughing as you press your hands to your cheeks.

Your doctors laugh.

Instinctively, you want to run to Thor and tell him. You want to call David and celebrate with him. You want to shout it from the rooftop of the palace so that Earth’s ambassadors will hear and finally leave you alone!

“There are a few things we’d like to go over with you. A diet and some medications to ensure the health and safety of both you and the baby,” Dr. Wilson explains.

“Dr. Wilson will cover the human side of the heir, and I shall employ a brief idea as to what I think might assist in maintaining the child’s Asgardian side.”

This reality check is just what you need and you move to take a seat with them, eager to learn and even more so to get to Thor and tell him that you’ve both been worrying for months when he’d already gotten the job done a long time ago.

You end up taking notes on everything that Dr. Wilson and Dr. Alric tell you. It’s a lot of information, instruction, and advice that you will never remember if you don’t put it down somewhere.

Time passes quickly and slowly at the same time but once they’re done with you, you see them off and then race back to the office to see if Thor’s meeting with Jane has finished.

Although it’s been nearly an hour and a half since he left you, he’s not returned to the office so you call for Estrid but take a peek out towards the tower instead.

You don’t see them out there and are almost set to go look for him up there yourself when Estrid comes.

“Is everything alright, Your Majesty?”

“Yes, everything is wonderful Estrid. Do you know where Thor is?” you ask eagerly.

“I believe His Majesty is in his war room with Prince Loki, m’am.”

“Thank you, Estrid!” you zoom past her, unable to contain your excitement.

It feels like you’re literally flying down the halls as you make your way to your husband.

Your body is absolutely vibrating with glee. You’re weightless. Ecstatic. You’re so relieved that you’re not a failure. That you were able to give Thor and his people what they want more than anything else in the world. A future!

A beacon of hope. An assurance that the people of New Asgard will always have a place here on Earth. An heir.

As you reach the war room door, you see that it’s cracked open, Thor and Loki’s familiar voices spilling out from within.

You reach out for the handle.

“What did she say, Thor?!” Loki is demanding.

There’s something off about his tone.

Somewhere deep in your heart, fear strikes a cord. Panic. The weightless feeling your news has given you turns into numbness as your body recognizes danger before you do.

“She said she’s with child,” Thor spits, angry, frustrated, absolutely out of his mind with grief? “Jane said that she’s pregnant with my child.”

What?!

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

5 minutes with Bucky

You’d been pinned down behind a crumbling wall for most of the fighting, unable to even attempt to pick off any of the enemy. The sniper covering you was unbelievable.

“Have you been hit?” Sam’s panicked voice came through your earpiece, and you shook your head before realizing he couldn’t see you.

“The sniper is up on the east tower is unrelenting. I can’t move. They even shot my boot,” you complained. “I need you to take them out. You know, in your spare time.”

Sam’s cackle reassured you. “Let me see if Redwing can take them out.” A few seconds later, the unmistakable sound of the drone exploding made your shoulders tense, and then release in defeat.

“I’m on it,” Bucky growled. Bucky was no fan of yours. He treated you like he found you a burden to the team, and was always short with you. You’d say he was cranky about you, but cranky was a description you reserved for toddlers. Your dislike for one another was mutual.

“Don’t put yourself out. I know I’m just deadweight to you, Barnes,” you growled back.

“Easier to get you to walk out than carry out your sorry ass,” he snarled. There was a grunt, and thud and the distinct rapport of his gun. “Sniper is dead. The sooner you contribute to this clusterfuck, the sooner we can leave.”

You scrabbled up to your knees and peered over the wall, and thankfully, no shots came from the east tower. You dashed between obstacles, keeping hidden, until you were back to the main action, and quickly picked off a few goons. You heard the enemy trying to sneak up on you, but weren’t fast enough to stop the blade that slipped into your back with enough force to prevent you from crying out. Thankfully, your instinct wasn’t to collapse, but shoot the bastard. He slumped at your feet behind you, pulling the blade from your back as he fell. Your tac jacket was tight enough that it compressed the wound, and you fought on until you were able to escape back to the extraction point.

XXX

When the helicopter arrived, you pushed yourself off the tree you were leaning against and dropped heavily onto the floor of the vehicle, grimacing.

“Get us out of here, Sam,” you groaned.

“Hard day’s work, princess?” Bucky rolled his eyes. You flipped him the finger and closed your eyes, trying to think about anything other than the pain in your back.

XXX

“Go hit the showers,” Sam suggested when you landed. You nodded and pushed yourself to your feet, stumbling across the helipad toward door to the stairs. You faltered a little on the top stair, but made your way down to your floor and into your room before you peeled off your uniform and headed toward the shower. You stunk, the mixed fragrance of sweat, blood and whatever chemicals had been in the plant clinging to your skin. 

You turned the shower on and stepped in, the heat making you dizzy. You slid down the wall, leaving a trail of blood behind you, and closed your eyes. Just a quick nap in the warmth of the shower, and you would feel tip-top again.

XXX

Bucky squinted in the mark on the floor inside the helicopter. There was a dark stain where you’d been laying. He reached down with his bare hand and rubbed his fingers across the sticky fluid, holding it up to his face. It smelled metallic. It only took a split second to realize it was blood. Your blood.

“Sam! She somehow got hit!” He took off at a run, skipping three and four stairs at a time as he vaulted down to your floor. Using his left side, he smashed through your door. He only paused long enough to hear the shower running, and notice the absence of your usual offkey singing before dashing toward the bathroom.

He pushed into the shower stall and found you. Your blood pooled around the drain, mixing with the water and you were pale. You looked so close to death, he didn’t even notice your nudity, scooping you up in his arms.

You roused just for a moment. “Bucky?”

“Why didn’t you say you’d been hit?” He growled, looking in the mirror to figure out where the blood was coming from. He pressed a towel against the wound and carried you out of your rooms, heading in the direction of the infirmary.

“Buck, I’m naked,” you mumbled.

“Yeah?”

“Why aren’t you? I bet you look amazing. All those muscles. Your abs especially. You should be naked if I’m naked. It’s only fair.” You were rambling. Bucky’s heart jerked, panicking. Rambling was bad.

“Sweetheart, you’re injured.” His voice vibrated against your chest and you leaned into him. 

“Just be gentle then,” you murmured before losing consciousness completely.

XXX

It was overwhelmingly bright, making you think maybe you were dead and in some cosmic waiting room. You opened one eye, and squinted against the brightness. You tried to reach up to rub your face, and got caught on something, a sharp quick pain to your hand making you flinch.

“Ow, fuck.”

“You gave us a scare, kid.” Sam’s voice was smooth and soothing.

“I got stabbed.”

“I know,” he laughed. “Hold tight, I’m gonna go get Bucky.”

“Why?” 

“Dude is over 100, and you scared another twenty years off him,” Sam laughed. “He’ll want to know you’re awake.”

You opened your eyes and took in the infirmary room. You found the controls on the bed and raised your head, squirming up a little so you weren’t so uncomfortable. You hadn’t noticed Sam leave until Bucky dashed in. 

When he saw you sitting up, he stopped and walked the rest of the way to the bedside slowly. He dropped into the seat Sam had vacated and stared you down.

“You should have told us.” His opening was on point.

“As if you care.” There was a cup full of ice chips on your overbed table, and you took a mouthful

“You’re a goddamn idiot, you know that?” he snapped. You choked on your ice, and he jumped up, leaning you forward to pound on your back. You pulled out of his hold, still coughing and threw the cup at him.

“Jesus, Barnes, if you hate me so fucking much, why are you even here?” You pushed him away and he fell back into the chair, looking surprised and hurt.

“Who said I hate you?” He asked, his voice quiet, and for the first time probably ever, gentle. 

“Every goddamn mission we go on, you treat me like I’m deadweight that you have to babysit. You’ve made it abundantly clear that you can’t stand me. What I can’t figure out is if it’s because I’m a woman, and you’re some oldtimey gentleman misogynist or if it’s something about me specifically,” you snapped. “You should leave, Barnes. I’m tired.”

Bucky shook his head and leaned forward. “I’m only going to say this once, so make sure you’re listening, princess.”

You closed your eyes, for some reason wanting to cry. “I don’t hate you. You take unnecessary risks in order to prove yourself when you really have nothing to prove, and that scares me. You’re more frustrating than Stevie was. You do crazy shit, and suddenly I can’t breathe because I think you’re going to die.”

You opened your eyes, narrowing them as he spoke.

“And maybe I am a backward old man? I don’t think I am? Nat’s probably the best assassin I’ve ever seen, and she’s a woman. And the Dora, the Dora are the best military unit in the world hands down. I think it’s just you. You bring it out in me -”

“I bring out your World War Two sexist dames are just for keeping at home shit?” You interrupted. Bucky laughed.

“No, princess, you don’t get it. I want to protect you. I want to make sure you come home,” he sighed.

“Why?”

“So that maybe someday I can tell you how much you mean to me,” he blurted out.

“And why would you tell me now?” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

“When I carried you here, you told me you wanted to see me naked. I figure, no one wants to see someone they hate naked, so maybe you have some complicated feelings too,” he shrugged. A single tear rolled down your cheek, and he reached over to wipe it away. “I was scared you might die. And I’d never told you. And you’re the first dame- first woman I’ve felt like this about since I can’t remember when, and -”

“Do you think there’s enough room in this bed for you to climb in?” you interrupted. He dropped his sweatshirt on the chair and kicked off his shoes. You wiggled a little trying to make space for you. He slid in beside you and tucked his arm up behind your neck, allowing you to curl into him.

“We’re idiots, Buck,” you murmured, laying a hand on his chest. He grasped the hand in his and brought it to his mouth, gently kissing your palm.

[shelby-love]

JAY HALSTEAD

Bomb Squad Alternative

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warning(s): none

Author's note: Here is another crossover between firefighter Y/N and Jay Halstead. Hope you enjoyed since I’m really proud lol. Personally I think this would be a great episode. 

Requests for Jay are open again so send in your ideas! I’m thinking about putting out Christmas prompts since I’m feeling festive. Also, I’m quarantied :( went to test yesterday and I’m waiting for the results to kick in. I feel fine so I shouln’t worry but I still do yk? Anyhow, school is a b and I’m doing online atm (maybe high schools will switch to online completely until Christmas but who knows at this point). 

It’s also exam weeks so that’s why I’ve been lacking time to get back to writing.

Now perpare for me to get on my knees for you at the end of this one shot. <3 

~

“Everyone get out of the station!” You exclaimed, barging through the train station with the rest of 51. Your loud voices and heavy gear alerted everyone enough to get them to move back.

“What do you think you’re doing?” A police officer questioned, throwing an accusing eyebrow your way.

Your lieutenant left you to the police officer’s mercy with a nod of his head. You sighed, turning to the man but still keeping a steady pace with the rest of your team. “There is a bomb threat, we need to evacuate the train station.”

“A bomb threat? I didn’t get a call,” He fought, looking around as if the bomb might be anywhere. Which was true.

“The intelligence is on their way, but I suggest you give us some room to do our job,” Matt joined his voice with you to explain. Although he quickly returned to shouting. 

Soon enough, you saw two dark clothed figures march down the stairs towards you. Your boyfriend came striding down towards all of you, his blue eyes assassinating the surrounding situation. 

Until they fell on you.

He looks good, you allowed yourself to think. Admiring his lean figure - the leather jacket covering his muscular arms and proud CPD badge at his hip - you watched as he stalked towards you. The old lady that was clutching to your side shakily suddenly became invisible to your eyes.

You weren’t surprised to see his jaw tick at the sight of you, which made you shake your head in annoyance. Helping the lady catch the arms of a fellow firefighter became your priority. You watched as she walked outside on unsteady legs.

“Y/LN, Casey.” Your chief grabbed your attention, “What’s the situation?”

“Still no sight of the bomb chief,” Matt said. “We’re trying to get out as many people as possible.”

“It’s rush hour Chief,” You breathed, glancing at Jay for a second before giving Wallace your full attention. “The next train will be here in 10 minutes. If this bomb has a timer then that’s exactly when it will go off. We need the bomb squad here now.”

“Understood. Voight?”

The sergeant looked at Jay who shook his head. “Stuck in traffic.”

You caught Matt muttering a violent curse under his breath, which only tempted you to do the same. 

“Chief we need help!”

Severide’s shout brought you and Matt to your senses immediately. There was no time to think as you both ran towards him with your heavy gear on both your shoulders. 

“Y/N stop!” 

It was Jay who made you halt in your tracks to turn around. “What?”

He reached for your elbow, and with ease pulled you away. “Look I...”

You knew what was going on in his head. His protective nature over you often interferes with many things, including your job. But not today.

“I know you’re worried Jay, okay?” You reasoned, gloved hands grabbing his forearms in reassurance. “But this is my job. Trust me - I hate that we’re put in this situation but there’s nothing we can do except have each other's back.”

Jay let out a loose breath of fear before masking it under a facade of blankness. He waved his hand at the police officers, giving them a sign to follow him. “Be careful.”

You bobbed your head before planting a kiss to his cheek and running back to the scene. 

The sight in front of you broke your heart.

A tiny boy with tears coloring his face sat at the bench with his foot dangling over the edge, connected to what looked like a time bomb. He was all alone - barely even 7 years old, with a bright yellow beanie covering his blonde curls. Rosy tear stained cheeks, and blue eyes filled with fear made you drop on your knees immediately.

Carefully, you approached him. The fear that brew inside was pushed aside and you plastered on a smile. “Hi buddy. My name’s Y/N. We’re here to help you”

You seized the ticking bomb and managed to decipher the numbers. Shaking your head, you ignored the buzzing of your anxious heart and grabbed your radio, dialing. “We have three minutes chief. No time to wait for the bomb squad. I have to do it.”

***

Jay looked at the police officers who surrounded him in an uneven half circle, and shook his head. He could see the men trembling, hands shaking and beads of sweat appearing at their foreheads. 

“Alright listen up,” He boomed. “We need to evacuate immediately. Threaten with arrest, I don’t care. Just get the civilians out of here.”

They nodded in sync, each man letting out a different toned response before leaving him be to watch what was revealing a few yards away. Jay wouldn’t admit it, but he was shaking inside. His fingertips itched to grab your heavily clothed body and swing you over his shoulder in an attempt to keep you safe... No matter how chauvinistic that sounded.

But Jay Halstead had decided to date a strong woman. A dedicated feminist at that - a woman that refused to be manhandled unless it was to take her to bed when she desired.

Now he watched her - you - shout and shove around the train station, desperate to do what his job was too. Was he a bad man for not really caring if that man that just brushed his expensive suit against his shoulder came out of there safe? He only had eyes on you, so that’s why he spent moments watching you work around like a hawk.

And then you kneeled, and your colleagues stepped out of the way. Without his permission, his dark brows bunched together and his eyes narrowed at your stature. What are you doing?

His answer fell from the sky quickly - although not literally. Voight and Boden strode to his side to discuss the situation. 

“There is no time to wait for the bomb squad,” Boden said roughly, his jaw clenching. “If that bomb isn’t deactivated within the next 3 minutes not only is that boy going to die...everyone on this block will.”

Voight knew what he meant by that. Thousands of casualties. Not only will Chicago lose millions of dollars worth of repair if the block blows up - as first responders what came to their minds were the civilians. How many of them will die or be injured because of a simple mistake of following protocol and waiting? They had a firefighter there, on the scene, ready to disable the bomb and save them.

Only that firefighter was you. And that made their decision ten times harder to make.

But Boden was sure in you, and so was Voight. “Okay. Do what you gotta do.”

Wallace nodded, griping his radio. “Y/N. Go for it.”

Y/N? Jay couldn’t believe his ears. It completely slipped his mind that you had been trained for this. At that moment, his body and mind said no. He forgot all about equality you have been trying to tattoo into his mind. You were you at that moment. A simple girl he fell in love with and wanted to protect.

“What the hell Sarge?!”

*** 

“Okay,” You sighed enthusiastically, hoping to divert the boy’s attention to your relaxed posture. “I need you to be really still for me. Can you do that?”

The boy could barely nod as Sylvie held his head still in the cervical collar.

“What’s your name?” Sylvie asked him, ignoring the fact that two minutes were left on the clock. You went straight to work the moment his attention was diverted and his leg was no longer shaking.

Swiftly, you grasped the leg of his pants and pulled it up, revealing the leather that was sunk in his flesh. You winced, “His leg circulation is bad.”

“Just focus on the bomb,” She reassured you quietly. 

You grabbed the equipment and started to work on disabling it. Each step was more difficult than the other. You felt yourself tremble as the end seemed to never come any closer to you no matter how much you reached for it. “Go.”

“What? We’re not leaving you.“ It was Severide who spoke, only a meter or two away from you. Shaking your head at another trap within the system you decided that you needed all the help you could get. 

1 minute.

“Jay?” You murmured against the radio - Jay’s reply was instant.

“Y/N you can do this,” his voice was raspier through the line, more prominent and harsh. Nevertheless, his words soothed you.

“I need help,” you told him. “You said this man is crazy right? Well I think there’s a story here. These wires mean something. Blue, white, yellow.” 

You weren’t allowed to go for it... not when so many lives were at risk. This man was smart, that much you knew. There has to be a meaning behind the colors.

Jay could help you more than anyone. You knew it. He knew it too.

Blue, white, yellow.

***

“Blue, white, yellow.” He mumbled, not allowing himself to look at his watch. You didn’t have much time, he knew it -  Jay just didn’t want a definite reminder of it.

He rocked his brain for explanations. For a clue within this case. Something.

30 seconds.

“Everyone evacuate now!” Boden shouted into his radio. Jay shut it out. His voice didn’t matter. Only you did. 

Like an eagle, he searched for you and found you: crouched in front of the yellow capped boy, acting like his anchor he could hold onto. He couldn’t see how shaky you were from afar, he could only hope you were okay.

10 seconds.

“Jay!”

Yellow.

“This kid was his last target. He looks for the details,“ He explained to you. “Yellow.”

***

Like his beanie. You casted a stray glance at the boy, flashing him a tight lipped smile. The puffy beanie that was supposed to protect him from the cold just became the thing that saved his life. And the poor boy didn’t even know it. 

3...

This is it.

2...

You didn’t think, only did what Jay told you. You cut through the yellow wire and stop the ticking destruction at the last second. 

No sound is heard.

No man moves.

Only rigid breathing of your own manages to make its way inside your ears.

And then the boy starts to wail. His cries turn into what look like never ending sobs. You were glad he’s crying, and not in a bad way. The sound he started to make was a clear indicator of your survival. The bomb didn’t go off. You were safe. You never felt more alive.

Your friends swiped you in their arms immidiately. Every firefighter gave you a congratulation you never thought you would recieve. You just disabeled a bomb.

And it looked like you were the only one shocked.

Still shaking, your eyes searched for the man that helped you. 

But Jay was already there, and by the time you turned around to search for him he had his fingertips around you. With a clean tug he pushed you against his chest and hugged you. His breathing was just as harsh as your own, but inside - he never felt prouder. 

“You had my back,” you mumbled. Jay pulled a moment later, his blue eyes gazing down at you before he laughed. Laughed. “You were amazing baby.”

“You really think so?”

“I do. Now let’s get you out of here.” He smiled, slipping his hand into yours and pulling you towards the exit. You were cheered after of course, it made your heart swell with pride. 

On your way outside you saw the bomb squad, standing in lines next to their equipment. “Nice work guys.” Jay said sarcastically.

The two of you made your way to the shaky boy to make sure he was alright. People were gathered outisde, now that the threat was removed. Each and every one of them had their eyes glazed with tears of relief. 

Their homes were safe. Their families were too.

Boden gave you the rest of the day off, and Jay was the one to drive you home.

“Let’s hope our work doesn’t clash like that ever again.”

“I agree,” Jay said quietly and pressed his lips safely against yours.

MASTERLIST

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