#and it would be one thing if it was just apollo and kristoph but also klavier???

[doctorsiren]

What would a Klapollo swap to match DefenseWorth and ProsecutorWright look like?

I accidentally turned them into Howl and The Scout 😨

[dreamsy990]

random thought: kristoph, klavier, and apollo all slam the desk (or i guess wall) with their fists instead of an open hand. im not really all about these sprite similarities things but hey this is mildly interesting

[u3pxx]

my comic for @aabadendingzine which is out for free over here.

extra stuff/commentary under the cut | like what i do? support me on ko-fi 💙

helloooo how's it going? i really hope you enjoyed the comic <3 it's rare for me to draw such wholesome things, i know [bats eyelashes]

DFGHDJKF ok i know, it's evil, the entire zine is evil you should go read it!!!!!!! but also, i remember coming up with this prompt and the image of mikeko trying to wake a dead apollo up evoked such a visceral reaction in me that i audibly went "NOOOOOO" when i thought it up LOL

the fourth page is the first page i ever thumbnailed bc i knew EXACTLY how i wanted this thing to end!

i think my favorite page of this comic is the 2nd page (the 4th page being my second favorite bc what can i say, i'm evil wheezes) i just really enjoyed drawing the montage of apollo going about his life and kristoph just. being there. always watching him.

i keep thinking about how spark brushel mentioned feeling like he was being watched those past 7 years. i imagined apollo would get a taste of that once he starts trying to find out the truth behind what happened in his first case.

and as for my favorite panel, I REALLY LIKE THIS ONE!! it's just fun shoving every important element alluding to the case 7 years ago to the moment when zak died!

and it's not very obvious but an element i really like about this one is zak still on the chair he died on. it's just his torso visible and i would've loved to make it more obvious that he's there but oh well.

i can't think of anything else to add about drawing this so i'll end it by saying: PLEASE GO READ THE ZINE, IT'S SO SOS SOSOSOS FULL OF LOVE FOR HURT AND TRAGEDY AND THE WAY MY FELLOW ZINEMATES EXPLORED THAT IS SUCH!!! GOOD AND HEARTWRENCHING STUFF!!!!!!!!!

i had to take a break from reading the zine when i went out to finish it bc my chest started to physically hurt bc ohhhhh lordy, it just hurt. it just hurt a lot! (please do read the trigger warnings before reading the thing bc this zine deals with a lot of heavy stuff!)

i like to joke about how i'm evil and enjoy evil things such as angst no comfort which. well, it's kind of true LMAO so i'm thrilled that i was able to be a part of this zine and cook up something completely terrible <3

here's the link for it again, go read it!

[ot3]

ace attorney characters: do they fuck good?

phoenix: what he lacks in skill and experience (and i DO believe he lacks these things at least until he starts fucking kristoph on the reg) he somewhat makes up for with enthusiasm and taking direction well

mia: i do think she was partying hard at law school almost rumspringa style after getting away from living as a Mountain Nun so yes

maya: i do think she could fuck like a champ but u gotta be in to her clown antics or it's not gonna land. kinda girl who would strip naked and hten u see shes got like eyes drawn on her boobs with sharpie

gumshoe: i think that he's so The Type of whoever is gonna be sleeping with him that it almost doesn't even matter. he's probably fine though. hes a nice guy.

edgeworth and franziska: sharing a slot because they share an answer. no, for identical reasons. they're such neurotic perfectionists that sex terrifies them because there's not any way to practice before someone has to see you do it. they need someone who can love them the way a tween girl loves a Problem Horse to blossom into their full potential

larry: no.

lana: no because shes a workaholic and shes just trying to get it over with half the time because she's got other shit to do

ema: to repeat myself from earlier i think she kind of sucks and kind of doesn't give enough of a shit #depressiongirlswag

apollo: yeah i think apollo fucks

klavier: this one's really hard to me because i do think klavier is giving it his all but due to him being hot and famous i'm just not sure he's ever gotten honest feedback in this department so i really can't say. i think odds are decent that he's mid and coasting and if he ever knew this it'd devastate him

kristoph: unfortunately for everyone i think the answer is yes but only if his entire personality isn't a dealbreaker for you

lang: obviously. next question.

justine: yeah

asougi: not as good as he thinks he is. once again the hotness is doing a bunch of heavy lifting

ryuu: i know he's a freak in bed but i don't think he knows he's a freak. despite or perhaps because of that that i think he's kind of a savant in this department since it's the version of reality that's funniest for me.

van zieks: pray forgive his discourtesy of getting glass shards and red wine stains on the bedsheets and also just generally staring off into space like a brooding widow during these carnal acts

sholmes: the attention span is just too fucked he's that post about leaving someone tied up in the other room and then forgetting. if you could get him to stay still long enough the dick would probably rule but you can't. you just can't.

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

Due to overwhelming popular demand (literally one person), I will now elaborate! The screenshots made this really long, so it's going under the cut.

I know I said 'not all that nice' in the original post, but I think a better word for what I read in Klavier would be that he's 'unfeeling' or 'callous', and I believe that largely comes from my initial impression of him. Many people cite the "This is the first time I've ever felt this way with a man" line as one of his most impactful early scenes, but, honestly, it didn't do much for me. Instead, the first time I properly took notice of Klavier was when he says this in Wocky's trial:

The first time I read that, I went, "Oh. He's demented."

And maybe that's a bit harsh, right? We don't know much about Wocky, but he is part of the mafia and under suspicion of murder here. Maybe Klavier's malicious glee at his soon-to-be untimely demise is warranted or excusable (though I would argue that it still takes a certain kind of cruelty to laugh right in the person's face). But that's the thing. This moment isn't a one-off instance but, rather, indicative of Klavier's oddly flippant attitude regarding death and other people throughout the game.

His rant in Turnabout Serenade about his keys, guitar and the dead body is probably what comes to mind quickest in this regard, but I would argue that Klavier's entire approach to court is a pretty obvious tell on this front. I don't think it's controversial to say that Klavier sees his cases as just another performance — what with the "Let's rock!"s and talk about everyone else "sharing his stage" — but he seems to treat the people involved like they're performers, too. There's a certain callousness that comes with his rockstar gimmick, which extends to his treatment of witnesses and suspects. Wocky is one thing, but Vera?

Like, the girl collapsed in front of you and is now knocking on death's door, Klavier; could you drop the showman-speak for one minute?

Maybe it's because Machi is a child, but I feel like this coldness of his comes across most clearly in Serenade. See, Klavier has a reputation for being the most straightlaced and honourable of the prosecutors, and I agree with that assessment! (I think. I don't remember what Blackquill is like, but for now, I agree.) His willingness to work with the defence is respectable and his dedication to the truth undeniable... but I think that only extends to truths he can see himself.

An interesting thing about Klavier is that he's never really behind Apollo in comprehending the truth of their trials, and he pursues it doggedly whenever he scents it. However, in the time before he realises what's actually unfolded, he pursues the truth he's determined with that same unbending zeal. He needs to understand what's happening — to be in control of the narrative at all times — to function at his usual pace. At the end of Serenade's first day of investigation, Klavier implies that Machi has been arrested because the powers that be required a swift arrest, but by the time the trial starts, he's 100% committed to sending that 14-year-old to the gallows. And he's not above using somewhat underhanded tactics to do it either.

There's a sort of ruthless edge to Klavier's treatment of not just Machi, but almost everyone involved in this case. He insinuates that Apollo might be lying about his witness testimony, knows why Lamiroir "saw nothing" yet chose to keep silent and have her brought out onto the witness stand to discredit her,

implies that Ema is the least useful detective on the force then embarrasses her on the stand by having her take the fall for the misunderstanding over Machi's eyesight,

straight up lies about not speaking Borginian to keep Machi from testifying, although he was translating fluently for Lamiroir just minutes prior

and even has his own updated autopsy report moment:

And are these all technically above board tactics to get to the truth? Sure (unclear about the lying, which he also does in the Misham case). But they're still mean-spirited, and his entire demeanour speaks of him just... not caring whom he hurts in his crusade for the truth. The feelings and reputations he damages on the way don't matter because they don't aid him in his goal. Finding the truth isn't about justice for victims or protecting the people caught in the crossfire to him. He wants the truth because... it's the truth. In that sense, he's a lot like og trilogy Edgeworth.

Something else Serenade makes clear is that this brusqueness towards people isn't exclusive to acquaintances and strangers; Klavier treats his loved ones with equal impassiveness. When Daryan crops up as a suspect proper later in the trial and Klavier is prepared for it, he ploughs forwards with that same unyielding efficiency and careless air. The few times he does lose his composure, it's largely due to the revelation of his own unwitting role in the crime. And when it's at last proven beyond a shadow of doubt that it was Daryan, his friend, his partner, the first detective he ever worked with, who tried to set him alight and killed someone, all Klavier has to say is,

... A cool, clean cut. No unsettled feelings, no messy loose threads. Just the hard truth and the calm acceptance of it.

It's the same with Kristoph later on — honestly, I'd argue it's even colder there. With Daryan, he had time to process the possibility and prepare for it. With Kristoph, it happens abruptly in court, and I'm not even sure that Klavier wholly believed Kristoph's original murder charges. There's a line right when he begins helping Apollo against his brother, where he says, "Honestly, I wanted to believe you", and I think the Shadi Smith charge is what he was referring to then. Even so, he puts it aside (much like Daryan, the few times he loses his composure are when he realises how he's been manipulated) and continues with his usual showy efficiency:

It ends, interestingly, harsher than it did with Daryan:

And there's something impressive about that, isn't there? That ability to come to terms with yourself and deal with your emotions so succinctly and conclusively. But isn't it also vaguely terrifying? It's murder on both counts here, so maybe it's a bit hyperbolic to say this, but it almost comes across like there are no second chances with Klavier. Like he sees other people, like himself, as being "simple", without room for greyness or capacity for meaningful change. People are fundamentally good until they do an inexcusable act, and then they're unforgivable and he's better off without them.

There's the argument to be made that Klavier's actually much more affected by these events than he lets on and this is just him masking his emotions to be professional, and I totally agree that that could be it, but I also don't think it fully is? I don't see Klavier as being one for masks, to be honest. I believe him when he says he tries to live simply — even the above examples I've given of him being unkind aren't parts of him he tries to hide; he's rather open about being apathetic, hence why I wouldn't call him manipulative. Like he says, he prefers to "keep things civil" because it helps him find the truth, and he's not particularly secretive about his friendliness being anything deeper than that. So, rather than him 'masking' his true emotions, I'd say it's more akin to him shoving those complicated feelings into a box, stashing it somewhere deep inside himself and refusing to ever examine it to the point where it doesn't affect his life in any obvious or even conscious way.

The one moment we know Klavier was truly conflicted about in his life (the forged diary page) he dealt with by, essentially, running away from. He left the court behind, threw himself into his band and only returned to it when it was forced into his lap, which relates back to how I think he only purses the truth relentlessly when he can see it clearly. He didn't look deeper into that diary page because it would have affected his simple relationship with Kristoph. We kind of see him do the same thing with the Gavinners, actually. Prior to Serenade, he's extremely proud of his band and brings up their achievements often. But after Daryan's arrest, he disbands the Gavinners and starts saying things like their lyrics comprised "ridiculous flights of fancy". There's a decisive effort to distance himself from that debacle, and I think he treats the people in his life much the same way.

There are also less significant moments that point to him not quite caring about other people's situations and his need for control — like when he glares at Ema for interrupting the Misham trial proceedings, though she did so to help them get to the truth; and when he sends Apollo tickets at 20% off though he's the millionaire rockstar and Apollo's the one living paycheck to paycheck — and one that sticks out is his case with Phoenix.

When Klavier warns him against using the page, and when he mocks him for the fraudulent evidence later, he says Phoenix has "embarrassed" himself. Not that Phoenix has made a decision that will ruin his reputation and leave him potentially without a means to support himself, just that he's "embarrassed himself". And I think that's adds another element to his unsympathetic treatment of people.

Klavier is sometimes just... a rich asshole HAHA I don't think he sees how certain hardships can push people to do awful things or really understands what desperation is like. When he's confronted with the darkness behind his cases and the nuanced circumstances that led to the people involved doing what they did, he treats them as amusing diversions, another element of the greater show that is the trial. And when you see how he reacts to complications in his own life, you kind of see why. He would never be driven to act in such a way because he doesn't allow those events to affect him. Whenever something goes wrong for him — really wrong, not just minor inconveniences he can moan about — he just... cuts the problem out. Keeps things neat and simple and moves forwards to a place where everything is, once again, within his control.

And, you know, maybe I'm just reading too much into moments that aren't meant to be taken particularly seriously — they do all fall under his self-absorbed rockstar gimmick, after all, but I don't know. I look at these moments in relation to one another, and I'm not sure he's as simple as he'd like himself to be.

wait, no. i think my ACTUAL hottest aa take is that i don't think klavier is all that nice

[inbarfink]

Ace Attorney Lawyers Ranked By Their Abilities in Physical Combat

Winston Payne: I’m pretty sure the average Tumblr user could kill Winston Payne with their bare hands.

Sebastian DeBeste: Look, the only reason why this wimp ranks higher than Payne is because he is so sopping wet pathetic that there is a significant chance that his opponent will just start feeling bad about kicking his ass and punch themself in the face instead.

Klavier Gavin: While Klavier is a physically fit young man who is known to keep his cool in extreme situations, he is also a giant law-abiding nerd who has never thrown a punch at anything that isn’t an inanimate wall. It probably wouldn’t be that hard to shove this guy into a locker.

Miles Edgeworth: Look, Miles is an even bigger locker-worthy nerd than Klavier. Anytime anyone, friend or foe, suggests a violent solution he just gets freaked out and begs for them to follow procedures. And no AA Lawyer is more easily thrown off his rhythm and startled than he is. He might have some bulk under the magenta and frills (or at least some impressive leg muscles from climbing 12 flights of stairs every day for like seven years), but he has no idea or will to actually use them in a fight. However, he did try and stare down a man who was aiming a gun at his back that one time and managed to keep his cool throughout all of this.

So like, he’d probably talk a big game and try and intimidate his opponent into not engaging - but if that won’t work he will get his ass thoroughly whooped. And then he’d try to sue them, which is what his threats were about all along.

Apollo Justice: Actually a considerable step up in power-levels from the previous ones. Apollo might be smol, but he is Done With Your Shit and this gives him Strength. Not to mention that one time he successfully tanked an explosion. His famous Chords of Steel can also serve as a tactic to confuse or weaken his enemies.

Kristoph Gavin: Although he is primarily known for his schemes and poisoning, he did kill a man with a single blow to the forehead with a bottle, showing he does have some decent upper-body-strength to use in a fight. And being known as ‘the Coolest Defense in the West’ means he can keep his calm even during hectic combat. But he’s also very pretentious and his constant pontifications might just be the perfect opportunity for someone to smash his face in.

Blaise Debeste: Okay, look, is Blaise a scary tall man who successfully stabbed a woman to death with a candelabra and constantly carries around a deceptively-powerful lighter and has like, implied, motorcycle gang background? Yes. But also I think anyone who encounters Blaise Debeste face-to-face is overcome with such bloodlust rage that it might give them an edge in the battle against him.

Mia Fey: Mia ranks fairly high on the Battle Scale considering the one time she was faced with a violent altercation she just tried to escape and it… didn’t end well.

However, in the two times we get to play as her it’s also clear that she wants to Punch. All of the Things. While Apollo is fueled by being Done With Your Shit, Mia has righteous anger - so I think in a situation where she is actually prepared to do battle she would be able to throw a few decent punches. Also assuming we are talking about Mia while she was still alive, there’s also her Spirit Channeling powers to account for. While we’ve never seen them on screen, Maya told us they are “first rate” and I believe her. Maybe she could channel the spirit of a great warrior to try and get an edge in combat?

Manfred Von Karma: While he also has the same Bloodlust-Inducing-Factor as Blaise, and he does seem less physically fit even though they’re about the same age - I feel like his cane could do more serious damage than Blaise’s lighter. And he has that dangerous fucking Stun Gun on him to easily neutralize opponents. Plus, he did tank that one gunshot he got in the shoulder. Manfred’s opponents might have Rage on their side, but also you cannot underestimate the power of his sheer Spite.

Godot: On one hand, Godot has shown an ability to keep his cool in very dangerous situations. He can smash a coffee cup with his bare hands and barely react, showing that he’s decently strong and resilient to pain. And he is yet another proud (?) member of the exclusive “Lawyers With a Body Count Club”. And while stabbing a waifish, 155cm college student (and part time-poisoner) in the back isn’t exactly the most epic demonstration of battle prowess in the history of Anime Lawyers - he did it (and moved the body and doctored the crime scene and prosecuted in court) while tanking a knife slash in his face, showing his pain-resilience once again, as well as general tenacity that would also be useful in battle. Also, he can summon an infinite amount of hot coffee mugs at will, which must make for a decent improvised long-ranged attack.

On the other hand, his health is also heavily implied to be deteriorating and that he’s basically dying over the course of the final case… possibly due to all of that physical exhaustion. If a fight goes longer than just a single backstab, I feel like these health complications are gonna harm Godot’s performance.

Phoenix Wright: Okay, so this is actually the hardest one to place. I keep flip-flopping on where to put him, especially compared to Mia, and Apollo. Because unlike most other lawyers currently ranked below him, he is a disaster when it comes to being on the offensive; Phoenix Wright is a total wimp who has never returned a punch in his life. However, he is also almost supernaturally durable, unbelievably lucky and deceptively strong. If a solid iron door, a raging freezing river and a speeding car didn’t manage to take him down, what chance does a fellow human, even a more combat-capable one, have???

Calisto Yew: She’s not even a real-lawyer! She’s a Secret Spy who successfully pretended to be a Lawyer for years! She’s got a gun, she’s got a knife, she's got crossbow bolt as hair decorations, she probably has some combat training from her time in Interpol… While she’s clearly more specialized for espionage and infiltration, and not as physically strong as Lang, she’s still got an impressive advantage over most of the regular people who went to Law School. In fact, her skill with barefaced lies and manipulation might also be a skill she could use in a fight to catch her opponent off-guard.

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi: Nahyuta is, in fact, one of the few AA Lawyers to canonically participate in what I would unambiguously call a ‘fight’ (rather than a ‘murder’), when he single-handedly disarmed and apprehended a Defiant Dragon rebel in the sorta-canon ‘Spirit of Justice’ Prologue video.

Like, that rebel guy probably isn't the world's greatest warrior, but the Defiant Dragons have been around for enough time to give their members at least some basic self-defense/combat skills… more so than the average lawyer on this list at minimum. And Nahyuta very easily crab-stomped him. Showing that he has strong nerves, some amazing reflexes and the martial art skills to knock a man unconscious with a single blow. Not to mention the seemingly supernatural skills with his prayer beads, which he already uses as a sort of ‘weapon’ in court. Also that... thing he did to Apollo's bracelet that one time.

Nahyuta might be just straight-up Magic, that's pretty OP.

Franziska von Karma: Look, Franziska might not have official martial-arts, guns, or Literal Magic Powers - but what she does have is sheer determination and force or personality. Franziska von Karma has been intimidating grown men since she was a 149 cm tall 13 years old with a riding crop (I mean, one of those men was Miles, but still…..). She had once whipped Phoenix Wright into unconsciousness in a temper tantrum, and like I already mentioned that taking him down is quite a feat. She is also very resilient - while the shot to her shoulders was designed not to kill her, being up back on her feet doing investigation stuff a day after is still very impressive! Her whip might not be as dangerous as a sword or a gun, but she will not relent until she defeats you.

Simon Blackquill: Let me just give it to you straight, Simon Blackquill is 1.88 meter tall, he owns a katana and a trained attack-hawk (giving him both short range and far range advantage), he can break solid metal chains with his bare hands, he can cut your hair halfway across the room with a feather. Not to mention how he could probably use the whole psychological manipulation in battle to intimidate or goad his enemy. There’s not even a lot of funny or interesting points to bring up, he is literally an action movie character who just happens to also be a lawyer.

Athena Cykes: Athena Cykes is the strongest lawyer. One day, she’ll be stronger than whales. I believe in her.

[nyaagolor]

All the cutscenes show the characters wearing their suits even in completely casual situations where they wouldn't need to so I was thinking about Why They Would Do That:

Phoenix: Wears his suit all the time because he's reached the point in his life where he expects to be pulled into a case at all times and doesn't feel like constantly going back home to change. It's more of an insurance policy than anything. The only reason he has it buttoned is to disguise the ketchup stain Maya got on his fancy white shirt since he refuses to buy another one

Edgeworth and Franziska: Were taught by the von karma creed to be professional looking at all times. Unfortunately this is their idea of professional

Manfred: He wants people to recognize him and tremble in fear-- what better way to do that than to establish a personal brand?

Maya: Religious / familial tradition reasons

Mia: Died in that fit so she can't exactly go home and change

Godot: Pretty sure all his assets got seized by the time he got out of his coma so he's ride or die with the one suit he has. It doesn't fit as well as he likes bc the coma changed his physique a little bit but w/e. It's fine. He's doing fine. Also he's under the impression the shirt is red, nobody tell him

Apollo: Kristoph got him the suit and it costs as much as the rest of his closet combined so he feels the need to flaunt it. Also he dressed casual for a bar hang with Ema once and she told him he looked like a middle schooler and he hasn't recovered since

Klavier: ok ngl I hc he's been wearing different ridiculous outfits this entire time they just can't sprite it. The man has never worn the same shirt twice I think

Kristoph: One time he wore something Other than his signature suit and someone mistook him for Klavier and it made him so blindingly mad that he never dressed in anything again. He has like 14 identical suits btw. They're all dry clean only and Italian silk

Athena: She actually just owns 7 versions of the same outfit. She's very specific with textures and having enough flexibility (it's the autism) so once she found smth that worked she just got a bunch of identical fits to swap

Simon: Wears the same fit he did on the day of his arrest to "remind himself of his sins" and also because the jacket is really comfy and has big pockets that he hides things in

[queenlua]

hey lua what decks do phoenix aceattorney and miles aceattorney play in magic

PHOENIX WRIGHT

once upon a time, a friend bullied me into going to a Pro Tour Qualifier, which was probably the largest Magic tournament i’d ever been to at that time, right?

i was happy to be bullied, to be clear, but the problem was… i hadn’t played standard-format Magic competitively in about 2-3 years.  so my knowledge of the current metagame, what deck archetypes were popular, and what the current cards even were, was staggeringly limited.

“it will be fine,” said my friend.  “here, take this spare deck i built.  it’s super-straightforward and easy,” he lied.

he said this to me approx. 8 seconds before the first round began, so uhhhhh, i sure was playing a game of magical cards without ever having even looked at the damn deck before!

so, lo, literally in the course of playing the deck, i was learning how this shit was supposed to work.  “oh!” i’d exclaim with delight, halfway through my turn.  “THAT’S how those two cards are supposed to interact.  oh that’s super clever.  what a neat combo.”  and then i’d proceed to shiftily look at my opponent over my cards, riffle those cards a lil bit, and then say “pass” with as much of an enigmatic vibe as i could muster.

meanwhile, my opponent was Actually Prepared, and they were Trying To Win, and they were pissed.  they threatened to call Slow Play on me because i was taking so fucking long reading all the cards.  as in, he literally called a judge over, who stood there watching me the whole time, in order to determine if i was being Criminally Bad At Magic versus just A Regular Amount Of Bad At Magic, and i was sweating bullets the whole time because i didn’t know this deck or their deck or any of those cards and AHHHH why is the judge staring at me!!!

….which only served to make it EXTRA-humiliating for this poor fuck when i proceeded to eviscerate them 2-0.  hahahah get dunked onnnnnnnn nerd!!!

and then i also proceeded to eviscerate my next opponent???

sheer dumb luck.  i cannot overstate how ill-prepared i was for this tournament.  i absolutely did not deserve these wins.

meanwhile the friend who gave me the deck was having a much worse time with their deck, and they were like “what the fuck. you weren’t supposed to win. how are you winning with that shit, my deck’s so much better than yours”

anyway.  i think that’s the kind of scenario Phoenix would get into if he were an MtG player.  dude Gets Himself Into Situations And Then Uses Cleverness + Bullshit + Luck To Get Out Again.

(AA4-era Phoenix seems like he’s doing the same thing… but, in reality, he’s actually been meticulously crafting his deck in secret for the past six months.  he’s not even aiming to win the tournament, he’s just exploiting a known weakness in the opponent-matching system that lets him know with certainty who he’s going to get matched up against (spoiler: first round is Kristoph), and he’s hyper-optimizing his deck to beat Literally Only Those People.  meanwhile, Apollo, who built a tryhard hyper-optimized variant of Red Deck Wins, is lowkey annoyed that Phoenix's seemingly-random pile keeps vaulting him just one table above him in the standings, because Apollo knows his deck is better. he knows it!!!! just let him go 1v1 and prove it aaaaughhhh!!!)

((also, in case you want Actual Concrete Cards And Colors And Stuff: in general i think Phoenix prefers limited play (draft, sealed, "anything where you open booster packs on the spot & throw a deck together") to constructed play, because he doesn't like being tied down to any one game plan. when he does play constructed, i think he's less attached to a specific colors and more attached to specific mechanics. in particular: he's not a combo player exactly, but he likes mechanics that feel like bullshit. dude saw Madness for the first time & his eyes lit up & he was in LOVE, "you mean i'm discarding the card but then i can cast it for free??? hell YES." he absolutely ran a poison counter deck during New Phyrexia. ah fuck i just realized he was probably a huge stan for noted awful expansion Battle for Zendikar, i think i gotta cancel him now, sorry))

((and i think Phoenix also has a touch of Timmy in him! like, i went to a huge state tournament once with a bunch of really skilled players, and there was this one dude in our car who had a really solid deck, clearly adhered to a lot of the trends in the meta at the time... but his win condition was a Shivan Dragon. which wasn't a bad card at the time, it was a reasonable win condition, but it was... slightly suboptimal? not at all the obvious pick? sort of random? and multiple people asked him "why is that your win condition" & he shrugged and said "i like dragons." so the dragon stayed & that dude ended up getting second place in the whole tournament so FUCK optimal play, bring a dragon. i think Phoenix would sneak in a dragon now and again. just 'cause))

MILES EDGEWORTH

this one is trickier!!!

young!Miles is just going to play Whatever The Meta Deems To Be The Best Deck, right. the von Karma perfection thing and all. it's all very boring & micro-optimized to be the Best Deck Of Its Kind & he pours over the results of the big name tournaments week after week & does some math or whatever to hyper-optimize his own build of the Obviously Correct Deck. there is no soul in any of this, purely Executing On A Formula.

...but then he experiences Character Growth & has his big gay crisis & now he has to pick up the game again. he opens the latest tournament results... clicks around some win % stats for various cards in a desultory kinda way, and... his heart's just not in it, right?

enter 2-4 era Miles. 2-4 era Miles is playing some utterly unhinged Five Color Good Stuff thing. there's a lot of Planar Chaos cards in there, because that whole set was about Weird Shit & cards doing Stuff You're Familiar With (But In The Utterly Wrong Color!!!) & all that is resonating with Miles more than he'd care to admit. he cannot possibly talk about his unnecessary feelings but he can make a weird noise rock album about them. and by noise rock album i mean this fucking Magic deck.

and he's playing this deck with a 100% straight face, as though this is the exact same behavior that won him the Junior Super Series five years in a row & not a desperate cry for help from a madman. everyone else is like Miles... are you playing fucking singletons... in a fucking standard deck... you know your deck will be more consistent with four-ofs right... and then he gives a cool fish-eyed stare & taps out to cast some arcane bullshit legendary creature & gives a single rap of his knuckles against the table to indicate that he's passing the turn.

and it works, is the thing! all those years of training to be the Spikiest Spike Ever have paid off; this Five Color Good Stuff thing relies on some pretty clever insights to make the mana base work, and parts of what he's doing eventually get adopted by the larger metagame to become an Actual Serious Deck. but, like. it's still a monstrosity. any skilled players watching are still definitely wondering Are You Okay, Dude.

after 2-4, i think Miles settles back into playing something more normal. he still cares about winning, but he's going to do it with a touch of class. he wants a game that involves dialogue, some actual back-and-forth, because just trying to combo off is lame coward behavior.

aw yeah baby we're talking counterspells!!!

he's a blue player at heart & he's happiest when he's updating the autopsy report shutting down whatever his opponent's plan is. he'll splash other colors as the occasion calls for it, but he'd be happy running mono-blue the rest of his life. like, i ran a pretty fun Legacy deck back in the day which consisted of:

every kind of counterspell i could get my hands on,

propaganda because FUCK creatures,

thieving magpies for the card draw,

and a few silver wyverns to, y'know, actually win the game

...and i think Miles would appreciate that deck. just play counterspells until the opponent runs out of steam & then cruise your way to victory with a couple birds. simple. elegant. classic. doesn't involve any of this modern Planeswalker bullshit (Miles regards most developments that happened to MtG post-Time Spiral block or so as affronts to game design).

(i do think Miles has a secret fondness for sagas as a card type, however. they remind him of all that Character Growth, but in an abstract/subconscious/nonthreatening way. too bad most of them are a bit of poor match for the kinds of decks he likes to play)

FINALLY: i think Miles hates playing Commander with every fiber of his being & Phoenix loves it & this is a pretty serious point of contention in their relationship. poor dudes

[corviiids]

oh would love to see ur breakdown of whether or not miles could do it tho. if not him then do u think polly could do it

verdict: miles edgeworth could beat kira but not without help and significant damage to his psyche. as a player character he could do it with support. as an npc he would support phoenix to figure it out but would argue the entire time

could miles edgeworth intuit the mechanics of the death note

not at first instance. probably not at all. i think if miles edgeworth received the right combination of clues and/or (but preferably and) was forced to eliminate literally every other option, he would accept the mechanics of the death note as factual. however i don't think 'magic notebook that kills people' would ever enter miles edgeworth's mental realm of things that are possible without someone/something very firmly pointing him towards that fact. he would not arrive at this conclusion on his own. also, phoenix meekly bringing up the possibility in court would give him a migraine.

could miles edgeworth identify light yagami

yes. i think edgeworth would ultimately be able to kira even without intuiting the death note's mechanics. i think figuring out how the book works is the very last stage in this inquisition. but i think he would be able to ID light as a person of interest even without solid information on means and i also think he would really enjoy his verbal battle with light yagami and by enjoy i mean miles edgeworth enjoys talking to people that make him want to tear his hair out. can we all take a second to imagine mind chess/logic chess light yagami edition? can we please think about that

could miles edgeworth survive

yes - see my post about shi long lang:

yes i think he survives owing to the rules of the ace attorney universe which he brought with him, namely that a culprit in ace attorney will politely sit and cooperate while you argue with them and will admit when you've defeated them in argument, which is the least realistic thing about ace attorney. so i think light wouldn't make a move to try and kill lang until his Culprit Breakdown, at which point lang could simply kick him in the shins and pluck the notebook out of his hands because light is three toothpicks taped together.

(miles wouldnt kick light in the shins but if lang, franziska, kay, or gumshoe is there they would do it for him while miles does that arms crossed eyes closed pose about it.)

also noteworthy is that miles would give a speech about how he would gladly risk his own life to kira if it means uncovering the truth

(i put apollo under the cut because this post is too long)

verdict: apollo justice could beat light yagami but i think he would need trucy for help and motivation

could apollo intuit the mechanics of the death note

not organically but i think in true trained by phoenix wright tradition he'd kind of arrive there in a moment of panic by pure accident. trucy would say something nuts and apollo would be like

APOLLO The only thing the witness has on him is a notebook!

TRUCY

Hey, anything can be a murder weapon if you try your best and believe in yourself!

APOLLO What's he going to do with a notebook, write me to death?

APOLLO .........

TRUCY Uh, Polly? You've got a weird face on.

APOLLO I just had a really bad idea.

could apollo justice identify light yagami

i think apollo would be taken in by light for the most part like, kind of kristoph style... listen the bracelet is a weird mechanic. people literally lie all day long forever and apollo only catches specific, gameplay convenient things, just like phoenix with the magatama. (we're back at 'why dont you just question your client with your truth telling powers from the beginning' and the answer is because it is a video game with a narrative that needs gameplay and stakes.) so i think apollo catches light in a couple of white lies and then dismisses it for the most part as like, light's just one of those weird guys with a fakey persona but who is mostly harmless, and light generally tries not to lie directly in favour of speaking vaguely around the truth, so it doesn't really ping apollo as particularly strange until near the end of the case where apollo is like. ive been getting weird vibes from this guy from the start what if that like. means something

anyway i think he'd figure out that it's light in like a tense moment where he feels like trucy or himself or someone else is in danger

could apollo justice survive

yes for the same reasons as above but i think it's a close thing. like i think light gets "Apollo Justic" written in the book before trucy throws a knife at him and nails the death note to the wall and then apollo is like (Y-y-yikes!!! That was close!)

[boyquiet]

I made this pretty quickly but I’ve been thinking a lot about the sprite similarities specifically in aa4 (I would’ve made more connections but then it would be too big) so I slapped this together with all the sprites I could find (some may be more of a stretch than others) and it’s just made me think. If I shared my thoughts about every one of these this would be a really long post but the ones I think aren’t mentioned enough are the ones between kristoph, miles and phoenix. ive seen people talk about kristoph and apollo’s confident sprites and kristoph vs klavier’s body language and how they have very little in common except for a few things but some similarities i haven’t really seen talked about before are between these three. (miles was not meant to be on here cause I was keeping it to aa4 but I noticed nicks angry sprite looked like his so I had to add it and then it got me thinking, so i made this)

I think it’s interesting to see how phoenix is sort of a mix of both miles’ and kristoph’s influences on him. miles and kristophs similarities I’ll save for another post (I also have to involve dahlia for the parallels between phoenix’s “love interests) but yeah especially looking at their smiling sprites at the bottom you can see their similarities and differences. kristoph has a very “angelic” but fake looking smile that is always as fake as it seems, phoenix has a laughing face that is sometimes used sincerely but often is hiding something or laughing at something apollo doesn’t find funny, and miles has a shy smile that isn’t used very often but is pretty much always very sincere. i think it’s neat to see how phoenix’s sprites reflect the people closest to him, the good and the bad, and then how his sprites carry over to trucy and others. you’re free to make your own interpretations about all of these but I thought they were cool and thought I’d share. if anyone has more of these feel free to add on :)

[just-a-gamer-daydeamer-girl]

Ace attorney headcanons I have cuz I can’t focus on just one thing

Phoenix/Ryuichi hated his name when he was younger but he has grown to love it in his adulthood

Miles finds Kay’s rants interesting

Phoenix is a Japanese American hybrid and is proud of his heritage on both sides.

Trucy actually knows quite a bit of law

Phoenix is great at Japanese but not perfect

Ryuichi is great at English but not perfect

Edgeworth has ‘girls nights’ with franzica where they gossip

Larry was messing with Phoenix in the beginning of turnabout time traveler.

Apollo naturally attracts ladies (juniper was not a solo incident), but he is too focused on other things to notice or care.

Phoenix doesn’t have a law degree, he has a degree in art though. (Look it up it’s not required to have a law degree to take the bar in some places)

Athena wears her special headphones somedays when everything is too much.

Maya is acesexual and maybe Aromantic as well.

Trucy has an inkling of her and Apollo’s biological relationship.

The ‘little big brother’ is a running gag of sorts between the group.

Phoenix is actually a genius and would be absolutely terrifying if he ever got serious or learned how to properly use his smarts. But his brain sometimes makes connections before he even realizes it, and ‘bluffs’ as a result.

Kristoph did his best to isolate Phoenix from his friends. It got to the point where Phoenix had to be careful who he meet up with or what he wrote or spoke, thankfully he managed to keep some friendships.

Phoenix has a bit of a rough relationship with his parents as an adult, he loves them and they love him but there are just some things they can’t agree on.

Apollo has a great singing voice, but gets super nervous when others are watching him so it causes him to mess up with his cords of steel.

All the Lawyers in the wright anything agency are strong. Phoenix can kick and knock down doors, Apollo helped Clay with astronauts training, and I don’t need to tell you about Athena do I?

Phoenix is actually pretty well off (royalty checks from Britain for some reason) but he was taught that money earned himself is better. He was also taught to be frugal. But he is often a little TOO frugal when he doesn’t need to be and that offen leads to greater trouble. (This might as well be cannon, the reason why his back was so bad in SoJ was because he skipped out on a proper hotel, yet he had money to blow for Trucy’s allowance in aa4 and on a plane ticket)

Kay is super athletic and is a master at parkour

Maya is kinda bitter about Mia leaving the Fey clan and becoming a Lawyer

Pearl needs glasses

[trlvsn]

phoenix wright making apollo justice present forged evidence is, as rightfully rage-inducing as it is, also perfectly understandable and even justifiable to an extent. in this essay i will not cut my introduction off with an old-fashioned tumblr punchline and will actually elaborate on why i think so and what i think about phoenix wright in general.

the first few paragraphs will be rather surface-level, but bear with me: i'm writing this in one breath. it has already been established that the change in phoenix's character was so big and shocking that the fandom is still actively discussing it and making theories. i have seen people compare his sprites with mia and diego, kristoph and miles, yanni yogi and many others, and every single on of them is, in in my opinion, correct: there are actual similarities between them, intentional or not. i believe it can all be explained with two simple statements. one: phoenix is a sponge of a man. even before aa4, we frequently see him adopt mannerisms and figures of speech from the people he encounters. he learns, he absorbs, he changes, but only for a short while, as he stays true to his motivations, passions and drive. two: the seven years of being watched by kristoph and collecting data made him turn to that mimicking quality of his and use it as a weapon. phoenix wright could not afford to reveal his true motivations, therefore, he could not reveal what he was in general. it's a simple metaphor, really.

did he get lost in the deceptions somewhere along the way? absolutely. "what tangled webs we weave when we practice to deceive", a line said by him about kristoph, can easily be applied to phoenix. this is where the bloody ace comes in. incidentally, he is given the idea by zak: he is the one who says one can't win unless there's a ace up their sleeve, and, no matter how much of an influence that particular phrase had on wright, he follows the principle. here is phoenix's first motive for forging the ace: insurance. without concrete, dooming evidence, a trial could not end in his favor at the time. phoenix wright, post-disbarment, is no longer a man who relies on bluffs and "just believing in the client", he is strongly dissapointed in the system, outraged, offended, hurt, wounded, and he does not trust it at all, hence the dirty tricks. you can't just play fair against something unfair and win.

what i find far more interesting however, are his other motives. if the only thing that drive him to forgery was distrust and carefulness, he would have shared the plan with apollo or, perhaps, done something similar to the turnabout succession trial, where the letter is shown to the culprit, but never submitted as evidence and quickly admitted as a fake. really, i believe he is smart enough to find other ways. however, he doesn't. he gives the ace to apollo in a very specific way: through trucy wright, not a word of proper explanation. why is that? he is teaching apollo a lesson.

clearly, something about apollo reminds phoenix of himself. a young, bright, nervous mind, fighting for the truth and justice, full of belief, a little naive. phoenix knows what that naivety cost him, and he destroys it right away, because then it will hurt less, he thinks. the forged ace is a vaccine of sorts: you will experience some minor symptoms, but no actual serious consequences, and it will hurt for a moment, but for the rest of your life, you will never catch that sickness again. phoenix is already planning the jurist system reform and has already planned how this trial will go: the environment is controlled and safe for apollo, he will not get disbarred. if the truth is revealed later, under the new system, surely apollo won't be receiving the same harsh punishment wright did. so here you go, kid, learn your lesson, punch a lawyer or two in the face, and never ever, ever trust anyone like that ever again.

but wait, if the truth does get revealed, who will be receiving the punishment for it? of course, the man who forged the evidence, phoenix wright. here comes the third reason: punishment.

remember the class trial? young phoenix wright, blamed for a crime he didn't commit, overwhelmed and crying. what does the abandoned child do when the whole class accuses him of stealing? he stands up slowly and comes up to the kid with the grey hair to apologize for the money he stole but did not steal. he admits it. it doesn't matter what the truth is anymore, because if everyone thinks you did it, you might as well have.

you might as well do it again, for real this time, and maybe a weight will fall off your shoulders, because what you see in yourself will finally match the image the whole world has of you.

phoenix wright is working on the jurist system. phoenix wright is a father and phoenix wright is someone who will do his best to put kristoph gavin to jail. that doesn't mean phoenix wright sees any other use or future for himself. it simply does not matter. well, by the end of the first case, anyway.

he gathers more evidence. he thinks, a lot. he gives apollo advice on the cases, inevitability reminiscing. the new system is a success. in a new, better world, maybe he will take some piano lessons: he has grown tired of pretending he can play. he has grown tired of pretending in general. hell, maybe he will even take the bar exam again.

[doctorsiren]

ok but like!!! i was just thinking about how with my last ask that nick would probably be a lot closer with Apollo than feenie because Apollo’s already having A Time with “my childhood idol is two childhood idols and they both just lied to me and even though it was to avoid getting convicted for a murder they didn’t do they still had me commit perjury”

but whereas feenie feels really terrible about it and is kinda avoiding apollo, nick kinda has to get over it and keep working with apollo and apollo prefers nick because he’s not trying to apologize or be all smiley about it or pretend it was ok either, he’s just moving onto the next thing work-wise, and that’s the kind of reliability and stability that apollo needs at the moment. apollo’s sick as hell of kristoph’s fakey smiles and the ways he’s realized that kristoph is all lies, and he just wants to get some fucking cases done. and nick is all for that, even though he also feels bad, this way they don’t have to talk about it.

basically imo if trucy is more of feenie’s favorite and feenie is more trucy’s favorite then apollo is nick’s favorite and vice versa :)

just like,,, nick giving apollo compliments and apollo actually taking them and taking them well. feenie’s jealous because “how come you get to spend all the time with our adoptive son who doesn’t really actually know he’s our adoptive son” and nick going “we are literally doing lawyering besides it’s not like he’s going to bake a pie with you like trucy does and if you’re too forward you might make him suspect that trucy’s his sibling and we can’t have that secret getting out”

GRAHHH ANOTHER MEAL THANK YOU yes yes yes yes yes

Okay so like

Nick’s like “Finally! Someone as cagey as me!”

But in the end, Apollo still ends up being a pawn of sorts as Feenie and Nick fight over him, so he’s still being thrown around essentially

There’s supposed to be a sunflower in Feenie’s hair but I need to learn how to draw them better so I just didn’t on this one

[asterlae]

Hey i finally finished Apollo Justice :D and with it i have finally played by myself all the ace attorney games i had watched a gameplay of

Fun fact i actually came in contact with ace attorney first throught apollo justice, it was the firs AA game i watched a gameplay of

So here are my thoughts after experiencing it by myself

I liked it if im being honest, like a lot , i missed the feature of being able to present profiles to people, and also wanted more characters to reacto to me presenting the attorney's badge, also would have loved to mantain the prints dust, luminol testing for all the cases, instead of like, trying out a different tool to investigate every case, but I still enjoyed it

Im still mad about the logic of turnabout serenade and turnabout corner, wtf is that, the cases were fun but i mostly tried to ignore their logic for acussing the defendant, specially with machi tobaye

I love trucy a lot, as a character, like, she acts so childish and yet you can see that she understands almost everything happening around her far better than the majority of people around her. One of my favorite examples of this (i consider this as an example taking in consideration what we learn about her trhought the game) is on scene at the beggining of turnabout corner, when phoenix its trying to get apollo to work for him and he goes like "oh well, if you dont help, trucy wil have to change of school, again" and then trucy its like "oh no, i just had started making new friends...", like, i have a feeling trucy understood very well what phoenix was trying to achieve there and decided to act her part bc she is a performer, and I actually think that bc of that she and klavier understand each other quite well

Like he was the one acknowledged trucy the most during the trials whenever she demostrared to have a deep observation of the case, not only that but we have the fact that we know Klavier also acts as a performer, showing a smile, acting all relaxed, but then being really perfectionist.

Anyways i could go all day talking about klavier and trucy but, the post its not about them and it would have to be in spanish bc I dont think i can express everything i think about them

Then we have apollo as a new lawyer. I like him, i like his chords of steel, i like that his color is red, i like his design, i love the bond he crestes with trucy, i really want to see him develope in the same way we saw phoenix grow as a lawyer

As i said in other post a love this phoenix, he has this so morally dobious and depressed energy around him that i like so much, and his tension with kristoph its just great

I will maybe draw krisnix in the future but i cant assure anything bc it kind of feel like phoenix being a cheater

Now i finally will continue with the great ace attorney!!!

I stopped mid game bc im the kind of person who likes to leave the tasty thing to the end, and although i love apollo justice my obssesion with tgaa its bigger, and also, it has misteries i dont know anything about (mostly), and my new wife, kazuma

About spirit of justice and dual destinies... I dont think i will be plsying them in the near future, for various reasons, jut the main three are:

1. I dont have the money for that, like i was able to afford tgaa bc it was the cheapest of all the collections, and it was on discount, like yeah, no, i cant afford that, and even if i could i think that investigations would be my priority

2. Its bc im not very convinced by what i saw when i watched a gameplay of DD, mostly bc I wasnt expecting phoenix to go back so quickly to baing an attorney, like, I was watching the first case, and was like "ooh cool, we have a new lawyer along side apollo", and when athena had that kind of panic attack and phoenix appeared i was like "cool, we will have him as a co-counsel, helping athena ground herself and giving her some asistance throughout the case", but then i saw him take the lead as the defense, and have athena as co-counsel and I was left so disapointed, like this is a tutorial case, why arent we continuing it the rookie new lawyer?, so yeah, i will probably watch a gameplay of it, but Im not sure i will try to play it

3. Is that im way to used to seeing these characters of the main games in pixel art style, im fine with tgaa bc they arent characters I have met before, with them its still hard, but its easier to get used to see them in 3D, but im not ready to do that transition with, phoenix, trucy or apollo

Anyways this is my comentary of apollo justice, we will soon continue with me getting all excited over a dance of deduction

[characteroulette]

Okay y'know despite not receiving any answers on Apollo's apparent lack of character, I think I have figured out why people think as much about him. It's purely that they tend to just fill in their perceived lack with a more Phoenix motivation than Apollo's own actual motivations. Apollo gets conflated with Phoenix, especially in DD, despite how in AJ he wants nothing to do with Phoenix after his first case. It's easier to just treat Apollo as an extension of Phoenix since Phoenix is the main stay, the main focus, even if that couldn't be the furthest thing from the reality of the text.

Apollo wants the truth above all else. It's why he reveals that Machi is a smuggler and Vera is a forger despite how it might damage his clients' credibility. (We don't get things like this in DD, and in SOJ it's more revealing Datz is a terrorist would lose his case immediately. I think, at least.) But usually, when I see people muse in their fics on how Apollo would take defending an actually guilty client, they have him swap sides immediately. Just like Phoenix would. And I think that's not what Apollo would do. There's plenty of evidence in AJ that shows Apollo doesn't flip sides so immediately. He accused his teacher since the evidence and logic led him (/us) to that conclusion, but the entire time he was hoping for a different explanation. He pursued the truth in spite of his own misgivings on the situation. He presents the forged card because he is being manipulated into this, being led straight into the waiting jaws of that snake trap made specially to snare Kristoph.

He was naive, and he makes sure that doesn't happen again. Even in the final case of AJ, he makes sure to explain the second forged piece, to explain the same trick of it that Phoenix made for the first forged piece. It doesn't work this time (and I am begging Phoenix to have thought up a better way to get traces of poison from a convicted inmate's cell, even despite how favoured Kristoph was), but Apollo knows what he is doing now. He acknowledges instead of attempting to fudge anything, in direct contrast to Phoenix's own actions from the original trilogy.

I don't think he'd deny his client's guilt if they did truly commit the murder. I think he'd still fight for the truth, wouldn't settle for just a guilty verdict until the whole plot was figured out. Apollo wants to help his clients, sure, but that's never been his driving force. How could it be when it was never his choice who he ended up defending? What he wants is to know the truth. He wants to understand how the crime happened and follows the logical conclusion from that on how this crime occurred.

To be fair to Phoenix, he was under duress when this happened to him both times (Matt and Iris). But Phoenix is driven by belief in his clients while Apollo is driven by the desire to uncover the truth. Similar but very different motivations, I think.

I think this is also what separates Phoenix from Ryuunosuke. Phoenix believes in his clients. Ryuunosuke had to learn that belief but also carries Apollo's drive for the truth. He will claw and scrape until the worst is revealed, even if it hurts someone. (He'll feel terrible about it later, but he will still expose Kazuma's guilt in almost killing a man for the sake of the truth.) Taking this even further, the one who decides how like Phoenix or Apollo's motivations Ryuunosuke is are the choices the player can make. They might be meaningless choices narratively, but they matter in the same way the Matt Endgarde decision matters. You can choose for Ryuunosuke to turn a blind eye to McGilded's forgeries, belief in your client above all else. Or you can have Ryuunosuke acknowledge there is something shady happening here, truth above all else. Or you can have a mixture of the two! (I chose this option, making Ryuunosuke question the new evidence but ultimately pleading for a Not Guilty verdict.) It's a fascinating way to mix these two's strongest driving forces and leave it to the player to determine how much each side affects Ryuunosuke's personality as shown in the text.

Phoenix is willing to fudge the truth for the sake of his clients. We see as much in 3-3. Apollo would never do such a thing, he is here to find out the truth, no matter how ugly. And Ryuunosuke sits in-between the two, a little of column A and a little of column P. I just find this distinction between all of them so fascinating.

All this being said, I'd love to see Phoenix be put in this situation where he isn't under duress for once, actually. What he would do is fascinating to me hahaha

[runby2]

the gavin household would have such intense and confusing trees of drama. klavier goes crying to phoenix because he was kicked out and phoenix asks why, and klavier says "because i'm in love with apollo"

and phoenix gets confused and explains that kristoph has also seen men so he doesn't understand why kris would kick his own little brother out over homosexuality.

klavier dramatically wipes his tears and sobs, "it's because we're a non-twink household."

and phoenix takes this information in for about a minute because that could mean several things and none of them lead to the same conclusion so he asks "what does this mean?"

and klavier sobs "he told me i need to start only being attracted to hunks or im not welcome under the roof."

and phoenix assumes this has something to do with apollo being trans so he tries the same fatherly speech he did with ema where he explains everyone is different and being trans or liking trans people doesn't make you any less gay, and klavier just shakes his head and says "no we know that and he knows that. we're not stupid."

and like. ok. phoenix has to start from square one again because he doesn't know how to handle this and he's definitely NOT calling kristoph about this