#and it would be one thing if i looked in ur bios and u were like. 15 or smthg.

[sybbi]

"If enough of us vote third party for president, we could actually GET somewhere with our policy goals!"

Baby girl you can't even get a majority of third party/independents in a single state legislature. In the past 30 years there have been seven independent/third party state governors, and of those, only three were genuinely independent. The rest either got elected as a R/D and switched mid-term when they alienated themselves from their state party, got elected as I and then switched to R/D during their terms (with some of them having served the R/D parties before), or served as proxy candidates with heavy backing and support from one of the major two parties. Even VERMONT, a relative stronghold for independent/third party candidates -- the place that brought you Bernie Sanders -- doesn't have a majority of third party candidates. And when I call them a stronghold, I mean they are the only state (I know of) that consistently elects (less than a handful of) Independent candidates to the state legislature; the place is still dominated by Ds and Rs.

"The highest power in the land can't actually be voted on so there's no reason to vote for the democrats"

Hey princess here are some high school civics question for you: How are Supreme Court judges nominated? :) By what process are they appointed? Who starts that process? :) Why is the Supreme Court considered reflective of who has won the presidency? :)

[love-belle]

i should hate u !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them using shady captions to communicate and the media and fans being confused.

or

for when you loved them too much. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // max verstappen x fem!reader

sequel - today and tomorrow and every day after that ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - hello!!! i really hope u like this <3 i was initially gonna do daniel ricciardo one first but i already had 1/2 of this done so i just decided to post this :) thank u sm for reading <3 i love u

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by paddock.club, f1gossippage, y/n4everrr and 6,829 others

f1news y/n y/l/n and max verstappen called it quits almost a month ago and it seems like they didn't end on good terms at all. the singer, at her london show last night, threw shade at her ex-boyfriend, saying and we quote, "the next song wouldn't have been possible without this one dude who inspired it obviously. so — here's 'i should hate you'. spoiler alert, i do. thank you!" the reason for the split is still unknown but sources who claim to be close to the pair said that 'it was bound to happen — with their different goals and plans for the future," seemingly referring to the talks that y/l/n wanted to get married and verstappen didn't. both of them have yet to comment on the situation. for more details, click on the link in our bio.

278 comments

username WOAH

username pause.

username ahahahahaha say what.

username oh my god 💀💀💀

username NOT HER CONFIRMING THAT I SHOULD HATE YOU IS ABT MAX

username no bc the way her voice cracked so many times in between the songs like girlie is angry AND hurt

username OH MY GOD

username i genuinely have no words

username omg the photos are NOT of her shading max. it's her laughing at a fan who yelled "you're the baddest bitch of all baddest bitches" at her

-> username YEAH LIKE SHE WAS SO CLOSE TO CRYING WHEN SHE SANG ISHY

username my delusional ass thinking they ended on good terms 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username nah it's so champagne problems and you're losing me kinda thing i can't handle this whatcthe fucj

username OH WHATCTHEBFUCJ

username me getting the big guns out to defend her AND max with my LIFE

username still processing their breakup give me a year to digest this information

username STOP WHAT THE FUCK

username my parents ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

username no bc she's genuinely such a sweet person so if she said this max must've done something 😭😭😭😭😭

-> username STOP NO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username can't believe she's saying this about a dude for whom she wrote "feels like" for like wow.

username I WAS AT THAT SHOW AND SHE LOOKED SO SAD AFTER SHE SAID THIS I FELT SO BAD

-> username SHE ALSO STARTED CRYING WHEN SHE FINISHED SINGING I MISS U IM SORRY AND ZARA (HER LEAD GUITARIST) HAD TO RUN AND CONSOLE HER

-> username AND SHE SAID THAT THE LAST MONTH HAS BEEN HARD ON HER AND SHE APOLOGIZED IF THE SHOW WASN'T AS GOOD AS THE OTHERS

-> username NAH MOTHER ATE AS ALWAYS

username y'all saying this but not the fact that she ALSO said "in another life we would've worked but im grateful for everything i had because for a moment you were mine"

-> username MY HEART JUST BROKE WHATCTHEBFUCK

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 799,155 others

maxverstappen1 i know i say that i am better now, spoiler alert, i am

8,926 comments

username the way my jaw dropped

username THE PICTURES

username GODDAMN

username someone take away y/n's phone before she hits back 💀💀💀

-> username the way i know that she would absolutely destroy him

username NOT THE PHOTOS OMG

danielricciardo spoiler alert, also a liar

-> maxverstappen1 you promised you wouldn't snitch

username he definitely cried while posting this idc

username max babe it's okay to admit that u miss ur wifey bc same 💔💔💔

-> username "wifey" girl he didn't even wanna marry her

-> username not another word.

username funny haha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 im crying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 now get back with mom.

landonorris no you're not

-> maxverstappen1 i will block you

username lando and daniel exposing max 💀💀💀

username no bc he probably cries whenever he remembers that he fumbled a baddie like y/n

username "it's all better with you ❤️"

-> username i could've gone along with my day without seeing that just saying

-> username delete that RIGHT NOW before i start crying

username missing max simping for y/n like ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

charles_leclerc i swear i can hear you crying from my hotel room

-> maxverstappen1 WE'RE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME HOTEL

username the way im SO sure he heard y/n saying that she hates him and that was the moment he gave up

-> username nah bc he was one of the "my girl's mad at me i hope i die" kinda guys

-> username wonder how he's surviving this tbh

username I CAN'T TAKE THIS SERIOUS IM SORRY THE POST IS JUST TOO FUNNY

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by selenagomez, carmenmmundt, dualipa and 2,246,826 others

yourusername i hate you lol

12,628 comments

username HELP

username she could only get this much in before her manager took away her phone ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

*liked by yourusername*

username no bc girl had a lot to say she's just trying to keep it cute

*liked by yourusername*

username the way i know y/n FOUGHT for the right to post this caption

username this is MILD bc i know y/n can be ruthless 😭😭😭😭😭😭

landonorris "in love" alright.

-> yourusername IT'S FOR THE AESTHETIC

username mother and father are fighting i can't take this what tye fyxk

username 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username mother slays everyday just saying

username no bc if y/n ever said ihy to me i would give up just a thought

lilymhe pretty bitch

-> yourusername u sure that's not u?????

username i REALLY hope she's at the next gp

-> username no bc the way max and her meeting would definitely be more entertaining than the race itself

username NOT THE SONG LYRICS WHAT HAVE U PLANNED

-> username oh fuck that broke my heart what the fuck

username missing my man max in the comments section being a whipped bitch so bad ://////

carmenmmundt can't wait to see you darling 🤍

-> yourusername counting down the seconds omg i missed u!!!!!!

username y/n's manager has her on lockdown i can tell 💀💀💀

-> username with what she said at her last show i wouldn't be surprised

landonorris the post has reached the target and the target is currently eating ice cream while singing your songs

-> yourusername OH OKAY

-> yourusername good to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

username she's so pretty it's not fair wtf

username the caption omg

-> username it's SO mild compared to what i was expecting tbh 💀

username slay

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by danielricciardo, georgerussell63, charles_leclerc and 892,628 others

maxverstappen1 it's all better now

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carmenmmundt, charles_leclerc, landonorris and 2,829,626 others

yourusername and i swear to god i'd kill you if i loved you a less hard

13,728 comments

username SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

username OH MY GOD

username IS THAT MAX WHATCTHEBFUCK

username NOT Y/N SOFT LAUNCHING HER EX BOYFRIEND

username GIRL 😭😭😭😭 get up

username this is INSANE

username MOTHER?????? WHAT IS THIS??????

danielricciardo the most stressful week of my life if we're being for real

-> yourusername u can send m*x the therapy bill

-> maxverstappen1 don't. i did not agree to that.

username HER SONG LYRICS OH MY GOD

username SHE WROTE THIS SONG FOR MAX 😭😭😭😭😭😭

username okay but like. are we SURE that's max?????

-> username i simply refuse to believe that it's someone else so yes. that IS in fact max.

username OKAYYYYYYY

username did NOT see this coming in a thousand years

username obviously VERY happy for them but y/n censoring max's name is so fucking hilarious like

-> yourusername babe it's m*x

-> username my bad ur absolutely right it's m*x

-> maxverstappen1 this is bullying

username DID HE PUT A RING ON IT WHATXTHEBFUCK

-> username NO BC THAT WOULD MAKE SM SENSE

username so i lost SLEEP over nothing????????

maxverstappen1 nice pants

-> yourusername thanks they would look better on ur floor

-> maxverstappen1 say less

-> username i think i just died whatcthebfuxk

-> username oh they're GOOD now

username imagine they just drop engagement photos out of the blue then what.

-> yourusername imagine lol

-> username WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

username i just know y/n's eating up every moment of this chaos

-> maxverstappen1 demons thrive in chaos so

-> yourusername well! it was nice to reconcile for a couple days, goodbye now.

username im crying whayctrhbfcuk

landonorris mother father

-> yourusername child

-> maxverstappen1 no

-> username ah yes the four family members mother father child and no

username THE HEART THE EVERYTHING THEM

username they STILL don't follow eachother LMFAO

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 7/11✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: AWIUSBSWDN I LOVE your art especially your LMK comic! Wanted to ask if you've seen that one fan art on twitter from @/Jay_chaos_art on twitter (or X) That is the part where little MK is holding Macaque's finger AAAA that scene is too cute! Also poor MK :']

Awww I saw that! It's sooooo good!!! For anyone wanting to see it, check it out HERE!

Anonimo ha chiesto: ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴀᴅᴏᴡᴘᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs ᴀᴜ ᴡʜʏ ᴅᴏ ɪ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇsᴜɴ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴏsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ? ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪs ɪᴛ's ᴀ sᴏɴɢ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜᴛᴜʙᴇ.ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ!

Aw thanks for the song rec!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: If I remember correctly macaque can hear people thoughts so I just imagine mk having thoughts about ✨courtnapping✨ and macaque just hears it

Macaque is just

Anonimo ha chiesto Mei if she knew what was going on inside MK’s head. Mei: it’s called being a “Furry” MK it’s the biggest plus to have in a world filled with anthropomorphic animal Yaoguai. That and the awesome magic stuffs.

me too Mei, the fuck

Anonimo ha chiesto: Soo that time when shadowpeach were at pigzi's and saw tang with the "bite mark"🌝 Did they realise what was goinn on?? Will they like ask mk or smt about it? *I can imagine the shock on their faces*

They don't know if either to be shocked or not since they called it

@straightally2001 ha chiesto: I love and hunger for Spicynoodles! 🍜🔥 What if during demon courting season, Pif decides that even though her son is strong she doesn't want to risk her son to end up court napped by some demon stranger that he doesn't even like. She wants him to be happy. So, she goes to MK and tells him about Red Son's feeling for him and convinces him to courtnap Red Son.

asjcajcb can't answer yet bc of spoilers!!

@stardynamite ha chiesto: I was desperately searching for another good fandom fanfic to latch onto here because I can’t draw fanart at the moment and you have saved me for my eternal searching with your lmk au, thank you sire🫡 I am forever indebted to you for thouesth servicesth

Aw thank youu!!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: What would a demon do with the other person after they courtnapped them? Like is it just a forced date?

Nah I mean, If they refuse the courtnapping the captors has to release them otherwise they would just look like an asshole. If they agree then it's more of a surprise date.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Other demons who have tried to cournap wukong seeing Macaque do it with ease: HOW THE FUCK DID HE NOT DIE

He has the advantages that Wukong is a Simp

@wolfsonic ha chiesto: AWWWWWW!!! I LOVE THESE MONKIESSS! I just imagine Mk and Mac training with shadows, and Mk decided one day to practice his shadows by trying to tickle WuKong!

betrayed by his own son

@phoenixeclipse-lmkau ha chiesto: Is Macaque going to have to re-courtnap Wukong because they broke up before? Or would Wukong Courtnap Macaque after all this. Or are they just gonna skip the courtnapping part since they already did it in the past?

depends if we go by the headcanon that courtnapping=marriage

@elixcv ha chiesto: HI! first of all, I just wanna say that I LOVEEEEEEE you bio parent AU, it simply scratches something in my brain. I wish you all the good things in the world(⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧ Now, in second place, I have 2 questions (and dw, if it's smth u don't/can't answer i don't mind, i just wanna say it, i guess?): 1. In your AU, pigsy is some kind of lower/not-so-strong demon? And, if he is, did he also Courtnapping Tang in his own way? 2. Can the courtnapping go both ways? Like, it just can happen one time per couple, or is a requirement that u have to courtnapping the other person back to show ur feelings? Bc, I can see a MK Courtnapping RS, and then RS trying to Courtnapping back, and in my head is like they're playing around the city in a complicated game of tag, or a hide n' seek. This can also apply to swk and macaque. I appreciate your thoughts about anything of this, even if I'm wrong in every way. I'm so excited about this AU and really love the way you write/draw it (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤ (sorry for the bad English, I know to read/hear but the grammatical is always a pain in my ass ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ)

Yes, he's a lower demon, but in the end, it was Tang who did the courtnapping bc he thought that Pigsy wouldn't date him if he didn't court him the demon way, while Pigsy was planning on courting him the human way.

Yes. I think courtnapping can go both way but it's not a must or expected to.

@straightally2001 ha chiesto: I was reading your last post about MK and his mortality and I was wondering, if MK was on the verge of dying and there was no other way to save him would Monkey King give him a Peach of Immortality? Would MK be upset about it? Also sorry if this question is too angsty 😅 Anonimo ha chiesto: Isn't redson immortal due to being half celestial or fallen celestial idk? Wouldn't he try to convince mk to take it if they get together? @purpleprinceblood ha chiesto: I think Wukong desperately wants Mk to be immortal but also knows that a) Mk would hate it and b) Wukong would too Like, dude has severe depression from his immortality and his friends leaving him, I think he would hate to watch Mk deal with that I could see Wukong offering Mk a life span growing thing, like in jttw iirc the peaches add like 500 years to your life span, Wukong just eats so many of them that they make him immortal, so I could see him offering it as a "I'm scared to lose you but also don't want you suffering like I do" @sakurablossoms-world ha chiesto: Wouldn’t MK technically be long-living since he’s the child of two powerful entities, I mean Redson is 500 and he’s considered to be in his early 20’s by mortal comparison, so wouldn’t it be expected that he’d outlive everyone (Redson and maybe Mei being an exception)? So while he would still value his mortality, immortality wouldn’t really make that big a difference in hindsight. Then again I could be mistaken.

I think MK wouldn't like to become immortal against his choice regardless. Yes, in S1 we see he wanted to become one, but I think he still was in that phase were he just wanted to be/do everything like his hero. And that included eating a peach of immortality. I don't think he ever thought of the implication of being immortal

@yainmy ha chiesto: If Mk has been developing more of Macaques powers does that mean he can develope shadow clones like Rumble and Savage? Or will it be a chaotic nightmare like that one clones episode in the series?

He can only control one shadow clone: his own shadow!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hello, I'm too nervous to send this non-anonymously, but I was wondering if I could take inspo from your ShadowPeach Bio parents AU for my own AU called Twins Of The Cycle? It's an AU with my oc, I basically just gave MK a twin.

Nope. If you want to ask for permission, you need to ask me not in anounymous.

@oddogoblino ha chiesto: Random but I find it so silly to imagine Wukong doesn't have the courtnapping instinct bc he's just a stone monkey (made up of pieces of heaven itself + the earth bc...stone), so the times he blushes over Mac are just him imagining cute innocent stuff like wanting to hold Macaque super close and cuddly. Also funnier thing, I was playing with the idea of shape-shifting being gender-limited for most beings/demons and Wukong's ability to shape-shift into women being wukong being an iconic monkey again so your latest update is a very fun surprise ! Yippee!!!

waitwaitwait I got it-

Anonimo ha chiesto: Can they monkeys purr like kittens?? It will be SOO CUTE if they can!!!✨

Maybe???

Anonimo ha chiesto: was Macaque ever more reckless than Wukong ? Maybe in their youth 🤔

Oh definetely

Anonimo ha chiesto: did the Brotherhood in your AU know about Wukong being trans or Macaque courtnapping Wukong? did one of them try to courtnap someone, including our fav monkey boys? 👀👀👀

Yes, the brotherhood knew

@blossomhill36353 ha chiesto: AAAAAAAHHHH THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOOD!!! I love u and your shadowpeach AU with all of my heart u know that!!!!❤️❤️❤️ I have a question tho!! Soo about the glamour thing are they can teach MK how to use one? And since mac has already shown without glamour Infront of MK will Wukong do the same as well??

Yes MK knows the basic of glamours. as for your second question, who knows....

@cutvdo ha chiesto: How oblivious / dense do you think Redson is? like would he notices when MK is blushing?

I'll tell you that, in the last comic, he actually did (the crowd goes in a standing ovation for the idiots of the century)

Anonimo ha chiesto: sooooo a lot of ppl like having Macaque having white hair/fur bc BUT does Wukong have any that he’s ashamed to admit?? 👀👀👀👀

he has but they are only stress related

Anonimo ha chiesto: I like how the shadow tickle courtnapping implies that Macaque could've gained the upper hand during any of their fights in the series, but he chose not to because the feelings associated with it were still raw.

Ah. Ok. Well, thank you but now I gotta stay in the corner and cry after this information

Anonimo ha chiesto: If Wukong and Macaque had been around for school who would the school prefer come if they called home Macaque or Wukong. I feel like Wukong because macaque would be overprotective.

They are the meme where MK got into a fight and they come in a hurry just to ask him if he won

Anonimo ha chiesto: I want someone to call either Macaque and Wukong old, and they get super mad and try to say they aren't old but they are

they are. they are very old.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Has macaque ever had to deal with Wukong having a period?? Does Wukong even have any if he shape-shifts?? Sorry if this feels inappropriate. Anonimo ha chiesto: WAIT, DOES WUKONG BEING TRANS MEAN MACAQUE HAD/HAS TO DEAL WITH HIS PERIODS?!?!.! ANCHHDMSBJFMDBCMDN 😂

Yup, he still has the normal period symptoms and Mac had to stay with him all the time

Anonimo ha chiesto: Who would ask "would you still love me if I was a worm"

Wukong. And he would do it while shapeshifting as a worm

Anonimo ha chiesto: If they where like super angry at someone or something would Wukong & Macaque hiss (not sure what you would call the noise but, full on fangs out.)

I think yeah.

autism-autobot ha chiesto: Are we ever going to see the pilgrims in the shadowpeach bio parents au?

Nope

k4izershasfreakycanon ha chiesto: Hello,so if you dont remember me i was the one who made a custom outfit for mk! i only have the front rendered and coloref so i just wanted to say that you're always allowed to use it in comics! just please credit me:)

Thank you! But I made already his outfit way prior your own post so I already planned to using my original design.

[i-cant-sing]

Whispers in your ear like a devil on your shoulder: you should make the Miguel O'Hara scenarios. Think of the hot dad energy he would emanate :))))))

Jokes aside, it is truly up to you what to write and I would always read it, but I am begging on my hands and knees for you to tell us the platonic yandere Miguel O'Hara scenarios you have thought of.

Nooo stooopppp girll- *puts on Miguel's theme music in the background* ahh shit here we go.

Platonic Yandere Miguel O'Hara as a dad:

Okay, so im just gonna word vomit here and yall make sense of it, but like the first thing that comes to mind when I think about yandere dad Miguel is that him kidnapping daughter reader from a universe where he doesn't exist, so he's technically not breaking canon or whatever and really, it doesnt even matter if you're his bio kid or not, like u could be a literal random civilian but if he is drawn to u, then he is. And while some of yall say "oh come on, Miguel cant be like that. He doesn't make careless/thoughtless decisions like that" I'm sorry, but is this not the same person who had the nerve to step in as his dead self from an AU and sleep with his parallel universe's wife and father someone else's kid??? Granted, they did end up dying but really, the only difference between that decision and this decision to kidnap u is to make sure that u don't end up dyingggg.

Moving on, he kidnaps u, makes up some bs about your life being in danger and blah blah blah, you HAVE to stay by his side, okay??? And at first, reader is like "umm okay?" because who tf wouldnt agree with SPIDERMAN??? (especially one who looks like Miguel? he is already giving dad vibes)

And the thing with Miguel is that he super protective (because PTSD) and he's possessive too, so the only person you're allowed to hang out with is Mayday (she is the cutest, i would die to have a kid like her ngl) because he doesnt see her as a threat (someone who could take u away from him). ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT with Miles (because he hates that kid, pain in his ass/bane of his existence) and pretty much all other spiderpersons as well because all of them are sarcastic and he does not need them rubbing off on u. The only other person he would trust u with is Peter B, probably when Miguel needs a babysitter (because u learned to mess with his tech-typy-locks and traps, so u need an actual person to keep eyes on u. curse the universe for u being smart like ur papa), and the biggest reason he does trust peter with u is because since peter is a father himself, he would definitely know that while miguel's methods are wrong, in his own way, he is protecting u, and peter b knows that he would do absolutely anything to keep his daughter safe too. Also- since peter has mayday, if he were to actually take u away from Miguel, then Miguel would 10000% kidnap mayday and use her against peter too until he inevitably has to return u to him.

Now Miguel is emotionally crippled due to his trauma, so he's not great at expressing his feelings, at least not when you're awake. When you're asleep, maybe his eyes turn a little softer, maybe he cups your cheek, some guilt and sadness swirling in his eyes when he sees your tear stained cheek (because u missed ur family. or maybe u got told off by Miguel in front of everyone), presses a soft kiss to your forehead and mumbles something in spanish ("you will understand in due time, mi hija.") Definitely has cameras in your room, so he looks at you through the screen and sighs when u flop on the bed and stuff your head in the pillow and start crying, heart slightly heavy with guilt.

Except from interacting with others and leaving the spider society/his apartment (idk where he lives), every need of yours is pretty much taken care of IF you follow his rules. If you behave, u get everything. If u yell at him, try to break out of his place etc, privileges are revoked and BAM, you are now confined to your room with no access to entertainment or any of your hobbies he allowed u to have. Those novels u liked to read? Too bad, they get thrown in the fireplace. Gaming console? Broken in his hands. Liked to cook/bake? No access to kitchen because u are now locked in your room.

Miguel has one important rule- you MUST obey him, under all circumstances, no questions asked. If he tells you to go to your room, honey go before his eyes turn sharp and he has to manhandle you. If he tells you to eat dinner with him, you need to eat food even if you are full. And if he's forbidden you from going to the locked room in his place that's full of info on you and your old fam, then its best for everyone for u to obey.

Now, while Miguel does have trouble expressing emotions (i mean, the most affection he's shown is head pats and if u are really really sad, then yes, smooches on the forehead.) but he has no trouble expressing anger and rage. If u mess up real bad, in the sense where u disobey him and end up hurting yourself (no matter to what degree), GIRL HE IS SCREAMING HIS HEAD OFF AT YOU (like the scene from the movie where he's yelling at miles). I mean, he's so mad, he legit picks you up and hauls you to your room, where he's yelling at u even more, using the terms "child" "kid" and patronising tone because you may think you're a grown up (u might even be) but he will ALWAYS view u as a kid- THE KID he lost, the child he promised to protect and somehow get redemption, or at the very least, fill the empty hole in his heart.

And since nobody thought to inform me that my man Miguel is a literal VAMPIRE and that his fangs are not just for show to attract all kinds of viewrs, we gonna talk about that as well. Does he use them on reader when she finds out that Miguel actually fucking murdered her real fam (maybe not directly kill them, because he is a hero after all. Maybe in the sense that he knew they were gonna die, you would too unless he took u away, he just didnt bother calculating the repercussions if he did indeed save your family.) and reader is now hyperventilating and trying to claw her way out of his arms but muscled arms only pull u tighter against his chest and he just bites ur neck to let the venom paralyse you long enough for him to not only offer an explanation for his actions, but also put a tracker in you and chain u to your bed.

Does Miguel's heart absolutely shatter at your body wracking sobs and distressed state as you realise you have lost your family? Yes. Does he apologise? Never. Does he like seeing you in pain? NO. Will he cause you even more pain? ...yes, if circumstances change.

Hurting you is the last the thing he's do, but its still something he would do. He wont enjoy it, but if u messed up real bad (escaped and endangered yourself) then Miguel, with a very heavy heart will snap your ankles and limit your ability to walk for months (if not for life). This is one of his harshest punishments, and punishments are immeadiately followed with comfort, so Miguel does put your fractured bones in a cast and wipes the tears from his eyes, shushing you gently as he softly explains why he did what he did, how you dont need to worry about anything because since you took your punishment so well, Miguel will help you (he will carry you around everywhere), and maybe if you're in too much pain, he may give you some drugs(or even his venom) to put you to sleep right away.

He has lost too much, too many times. His wounds are deep and still fresh, he is not taking any chances... especially not with you.

okay thats all i have for now(its a lie, i just need to pee) but feel free to send in ur asks/thoughts/scenarios.

[alacants]

hi! just wanted to say that i was recently looking for lore on the ferru ferri relationship so ur lore post is perfect timing and *chefs kiss* 🤌 i fully support ur unhingedness about them bc i'm getting there too LOL i would love to know more about the facts/lore/thoughts u have on them if u'd like to share ! :D

i actually need to thank you because it was the tags on one of your rbs + talking with another mutual that pushed me to finally finish and post. so thank you!! …and sorry for what's about to happen here. would i like to share more thoughts, YES I WOULD.

(eta: this thing is LONGER than the original and also significantly more unhinged. so like… fair warning.)

first of all here are an assortment of facts/links/quotes that didn't make the final lorepost cut:

about all those times ferru drops by the academy: for example, this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this.

then there is this classic roland garros 2011 "choose a player" questionnaire. ferru picked juanki for THREE separate answers: who would you share a nice bottle of wine with, who would you open a bar with, and—wait for it—who would you hit on girls with. 

i mean, i get it. juanki's looks are ideal bait. i see it happen every day on tumblr dot com. but a truly unfortunate number of scenarios do immediately unroll before the mind's eye.

david ferrer's official 2004 atp media biography included "says his most inspirational player is countryman juan carlos ferrero"

juanki's official atp tour dot com bio includes this typically restrained ferru testimonial: "He was and is my best friend on the tour. He's a person that is very close to me... He’s a very humble and noble person." elsewhere: "He's an even better person than he is a player, which is very difficult."

(juanki's bio is a wholeass novella and ferru's is THE most bare bones bullet points. ferru stop being so fucking modest challenge!!)

juanki used to visit javea to play football with ferru and his hometown friends. ferru are you making your girlfriend hang out with your friendsgroup.

select topics from the david ferrer official forums: "stayed with juan carlos before leaving for the davis cup." (juanki himself was not called up.) "went to a nice restaurant with juan carlos and had paella." "spending new year's eve at juan carlos' hotel."

according to juanki's blog they would watch world cup matches together at ferru's house?? cute.

especially cute since juanki is a real madrid fan and ferru is a barcelona fan. (although he's more outspoken about supporting valencia cf.) here is an amazing photo of a clasico watch party in the cincy locker room.

honestly this is just some sponsor promo content but i am dying to know what the inside joke at 1:15 is about. what are you smiling about juan carlos. why is ferru trying not to laugh. answer me.

ok easy stuff out of the way. i'm just going to warn you in advance that there are a cool 3000 words under the cut so uh... brace yourself i guess. don't open on mobile. topics include: 

some Narratives

thoughts on the dynamic (past)

101 reasons to love david ferrer

behind the music: juan carlos ferrero

thoughts on the dynamic (present)

i didn't link more than a few quotes but if you want sources for anything in particular just drop me a reply or an ask.

finally, in addition to Facts and Anecdotes this includes what is by definition rampant speculation because i don't know these guys and never will. we cannot fully know public figures, we are making the shadows on the wall of plato's cave kiss, you know the drill.

the Narratives

first of all. the opposite narratives of their careers are soooooooooo compelling to me. like, juanki was a child prodigy—junior world champion, junior roland garros finalist, bursting onto the pro scene age 19 and winning his first title just a month later. then clinching spain's first davis cup, roland garros sf-sf-final-title, us open final, world number one. all by age 23! expectations were through the ROOF.

…and then 2004 hit and he fell off a cliff and never recovered. (injury, mentality, and incredible bad luck, like oh this man is CURSED cursed. he missed multiple tournaments because of chicken pox.) in september 2003 he was world no. 1; 17 months later he was no. 98.  he never did make it back into the top ten.

meanwhile, ferru was—i mean obviously he was talented. he won stuff in juniors. but no one was talking about him as the future of spanish tennis, yk? he even quit when he was 17… for a week. (lol.) he was inconsistent, vulnerable to meltdowns. he first appeared on most people's radars when he beat agassi in rome in 2003, but then not again until a brief spike in 2007—made the USO semis, made the master's cup final, world no. 5. and then he, too, slumped.

but he did not give up. ever.

he climbed out of the slump and just kept climbing up, and up, and up. the best year of his career was 2012-2013, age thirty—seven titles, masters title, roland garros final, world no. 3. the second-best was 2015, age thirty-two. top 10 for 292 straight weeks, 2010-2016. ferru is like. the ultimate proof of how dogged persistence pays off if you just. keep. trying. ← wow tumblr user alacants is he your favorite or something.

the arcs intersect in ~2008-2010, when they were especially joined at the hip. they're both struggling—juanki dropped out of the top 100 for the first time, ferru's treading water in the low teens and saying he'll never reach the heights of 2007 again—and both right on the verge of a revival. juanki won his first title in 5+ years in 2009, kickstarting an 18 month last-gasp renaissance that included davis cup hero, more titles, more finals, as high as no. 14. for a few weeks. ferru slowly and surely got his feet back under him. (he calls the dc 09 final a turning point.) around those back-to-back finals in 2010, they were hovering right around the same rank—juanki even jumped ahead a couple places. and then juanki's body finally called it quits, and ferru started to really take off. 

so that window is probably the peak of the pre-retirement dynamic. what IS that dynamic, you ask? great question.

the dynamic (past)

first i must note that although i myself led the lore post with the quotes about how they've been friends forever, something i find super cute/funny is that there seems to be an element of historical revisionism at work there? like, ferru didn't come to the academy until he was 17 (1999, the year juanki went pro), and their hometowns aren't THAT close. and ferru spent a couple years in barcelona as well. so although they clearly knew each other from an early age, it's unlikely that they were like. besties. but if you ask them, it's oh yeah we've been friends foreverrrr.

anyway. dynamics, 2002-2012:

mutual security blanket

introvert (situational) 4 introvert (intrinsic)

senpai/kouhai

chronic patient/emotional support rescue dog

fighter/sacrifice

king/lionheart, where the king was overthrown 10 years ago and now they're living in exile and the loyal retainer is earning their keep by the sword��

what do i mean by 90% of this—ok, first, web 1.0 tangent: beginning relatively early in ferru's career there was a fan forum on his official website. ferrru, who in those days was blatantly uncomfortable with the fan/star dynamic, immediately set about trying to like. befriend everyone on it. no fans here, we're all just friends! he would post regular life updates and then hang around in the thread just. chatting. he would remember details like where posters lived and who their other faves were and TEASE them about it. he hosted a christmas dinner in his hometown for anyone who wanted to make the trip. this is obviously unsustainable past a certain point of success but while it lasted it was just. so charming.

so ferru took his self-appointed role as juanki handler very seriously. like, i joke about "xx news and publicity bureau," but ferru really was. he would regularly post updates about juanki's health and recovery progress. he would answer questions. juanki's fans would come to ferru for updates!! couple this with the comments about how they tried to enter the same tournaments and generally traveled together/stayed in the same hotels, along with juanki's incredible run of illness and injury, and it's just like. ferru is juanki's designated spokesperson, his interface with the cold cruel world, his shield arm/support animal.

mutually supportive, but also: ferru clearly gets a lot of validation out of doing things for other people. he is always describing himself in terms such as, "i'm nothing special, i just try to be a really good friend." this is an acts of service guy all the way down.

(you ARE special, ferru, listen to me and juan carlos—)

i do think it was an evolution—ferru especially credits juanki with supporting him in the early days on tour. so i see it as like... friendly face showing the new kid the ropes, giving him advice, and then suddenly they're pulling even, and then even more suddenly ferru is the one equipped to provide the support.

introvert (situational): namely, juanki describes himself as shy, but he loves being the center of attention. he doesn't act out to get it but he very much enjoys it when it comes. (early quote re: what he likes about tennis: "all the people cheering for me in the big stadiums.") (it's also worth noting that he was the youngest child and the much-anticipated only son. lmao.) at the same time the media describe him as reserved, and he visibly dislikes talking about personal stuff. direct quote: "you can see how uncomfortable he is talking about his family…" 

so at first the press calls him "the monk of villena", he lives in the middle of nowhere, his lifestyle isn't flashy*, he's so humble, wow. but alllllso he loves fast cars and throwing parties at his hotel. he befriends other famous spanish athletes like sergio garcia and sete gibernau. and there are some wiiiiiiiiiild pictures from players' parties through the years. 

(*the contemporary gossip was also that maybe he was out having a little more fun than he let on, lol.)

so maybe it's accurate to say he's doesn't like being out of his depth? doesn't like unfamiliar situations. but like—i have seen the records and they do not lie. juan carlos looooves being—sorry—doted upon.

(this btw is why someone dedicating their tournament victory to him in front of god and the city of valencia and everyone was probably what you could call an effective tactic.) 

meanwhile ferru's favorite hobby is READING. he is famous for always having a book in the locker room. "i can get through 3 books in a 2 week tournament and i keep every book i read." (← man who ebooks were invented for.) his idea of a perfect day is going to the beach in his hometown ("the best beach in the world") with his family and his friends and then having paella. he's a cat person. he's perfect? SORRY. I'M TRYING SO HARD TO BE NORMAL. anyway genuinely think this is the person you would find in the corner at a party befriending the host's cat.

—ok fuck normal i need to talk about ferru some more.

some very normal thoughts about david ferrer

as a player ferru had uhhhhh well maybe it was an inferiority complex or maybe it was a self-defense strategy playing in the big four era or maybe he was just unbelievably hard on himself. but for a long time he was out there saying stuff like, i'm the worst player in the top hundred. i'm the worst player in the top ten.

the thing is. it's impossible to talk about ferru without bringing up the closet story. you can read it here. c. 2007 this was reported as like, a humorous character-building anecdote????? because ferru brushed it off ("once in there i didn't think much" <- bad sign!!!) and said things like "i learned everything from him, about tennis and how to be a person." ok ferru, but what if you learned the wrong things. 

i mean, what do i know. i don't know any of these people, i'm (mostly) not here to pseudo-psychoanalyze. i just don't think it's UNrelated that ferru explicitly compared their eventual coaching split to a breakup and later implied that he should have cut the cord earlier but couldn't bring himself to do it. or that afterwards he started going to therapy, "personal, not sport," and says he wishes he'd started when he was 20. 

he stayed with that coach until he was 31 btw. there is loyal and then there is whatever the hell this is.

how do you reconcile this with today's happy and well-adjusted davis cup captain? many possibilities, such as his very own family (they're so cute, they are so cute) and 20 years of personal growth. also probably the therapy. and tbf by the end of the career he'd already gotten a lot better about the self-deprecation. but he still has a worldview that is uh refreshing verging on eye-watering. he's repeatedly said that being a professional athlete doesn't make you particularly special or interesting. asked whether as a known reader he's thinking about writing a memoir: "I'm not that important and I don’t believe I can contribute that much to the society… there are so many people that can contribute much more." ← ferru STOP.

(speaking of the adorable family: although this post is mainly about silly shipping nonsense and not irl romantic relationships i DO think it's instructive that ferru appears to have dated exactly two (2) women in the entirety of his adult life. one gf age 17-26, one age 27-present. this man's natural mode is Devotion.)

anyway my main point here is that it probably felt real good to have someone on tour in his corner. someone who hadn't ever locked him in a closet.

(there is a lot more to unpack about ferru but if you're sitting here like "but what about uso 2008" or whatever trust me it's solely for the sake of not making this insanely long post EVEN LONGER and i am happy to share my thoughts upon request lol.)

some very normal thoughts about juan carlos ferrero 

IN CONTRAST... one of the funniest things about revisiting old press is constantly hearing juan carlos ferrero described as "humble" when my man has a VERY healthy opinion of himself. this isn't a bad thing. it's arguably better than calling yourself the worst player in the top one hundred. it is however a problem when the person you feel threatened by is. rafa nadal. 

i initially had an 800 word tangent here that has now been exiled to its own post. the short version of this is juanki got dropped in favor of rafa in the 2004 davis cup final and never forgot it, lol. a number of other perceived sins were committed including 1) rome 2008 media coverage 2) dc 2009 president's speech 3) valencia open 2013, how dare rafa spurn juanki's beloved child tournament. but really it was that rafa became who juanki was supposed to be. :(

juanki's got a lot of pride! another example: madrid master's 2008. yet again juanki is in bad shape. at no. 44 he just missed the main draw. so he asked for a wild card… and didn't get one. that was genuinely an insult considering he was the 2003 champion and that wc #3 went to (consults notes) fabio fognini, ranked 73. the spanish sports media were up in arms. juanki said he was so insulted that even if they offered him a spot he wouldn't take it.

…so when carlos moya pulled out they didn't waste their time. "he said he didn't want it so we gave it to someone else." oh, juanki.

(ferru's measured thoughts on this decision btw: "The absence of Juan Carlos Ferrero is outrageous and insane. This only happens in Spain. It's a huge tragedy and, above all, an injustice for a player like him, who's been number one in the world and previously won this tournament.")

so, juanki: proud, outspoken when he's angry, reserved when he's not. to the extent that when he started saying ferru was his best friend on circuit his fans were like wait. what. this is brand-new information. 

you will notice that throughout this post there are a Lot of heart-on-sleeve quotes from ferru, and fewer from juanki. what happens is that when you don't talk about your feelings, they explode without warning in Grand Gestures. juanki LOVES a Grand Gesture. ferrufest 2k19 is the most notable but far from only instance, see also organizing special surprises at their special tournament. (the open letter is somewhere in the middle, i would be fascinated to know if he would have been that forthcoming if asked point blank. i mean, maybe so!!!! personal growth!!!)

sidenote, but imo you can see the exact same dichotomy at work with juanki and carlos, where he goes out of his way to reject the we're-like-family premise and then acts the exact opposite. ("i leave the father thing to his actual father." ok juan carlos.) he used to do the same thing wrt his own coach since childhood, "i wouldn't call him a father figure, that would be weird…" this is how you end up naming things after people and bursting into tears in public! ← the fact that he's a capital-c Crier makes it even more obvious.

you will ALSO notice that despite that 7-2 h2h juanki sure never had any problem with ferru. lol. the appeal presumably goes without saying of a friend who is shouldering his way in among the ~big four and STILL out here in the year of our lord 2009 saying things like, “[Ferrero] is one of the best players in history on clay… I think he can win Roland Garros again. Nadal and Federer will be there but Juan Carlos will be right there behind them. Why not?"

(fwiw i think all of this is very like… normal and human. it's why it's so fun to put him under a microscope.)

and what is also true is that no matter how much you think juanki's life is the academy, it's more than that. he is the academy. like it was founded specifically for him (well, his cohort of young players, of which he was far and away the most promising), and his coach included him in conversations about the Vision and the long-term goals from day one. he lived there with a ROOMMATE for years and years after going pro, despite owning like… a nice house in the city of valencia. (← maybe also a reason he didn't get married until well after retirement lmao.) so when he starts naming parts of the academy after you... it's a Big Deal.

—incidentally it must be comforting to have a ready-made identity on hand when "generational spanish tennis talent" turns out to go. not the way you thought it would.

hm not doing a great job avoiding the pseudo-psychoanalysis, am i. well. i tried.

thoughts on the dynamic (present)

dynamics, 2024:

will-they-won't-they x 20 years

(life) partners

✨✨✨ co-parents ✨✨✨

that one is so overwhelmingly dominant it sort of overshadows everything else. lmao.

king/lionheart STILL only now the one-time king has returned from exile to be an advisor to the new prince—

tbh now that they are both retired and both have their own families they are a little less codependent. normal best friends, i almost said, before remembering the fucking portrait commission. do you think that's hanging up in ferru's house???? i ask myself this every day.

what do i think has changed? ferru is (wonderfully) much less self-effacing. juanki successfully reinvented himself as a top coach. after juanki retired i think they finally started to relate as… i'm not saying they weren't equals before that but maybe to some people (ferru) it didn't feel like they were. and ferru is clearly in his element as dc captain, where his job is literally to be the entire team's emotional support dog. emotional support pack leader? once again: who needs hierarchy, we're all friends here. (he gave coaching a brief shot but it didn't stick—this my personal theory as to why. based on nothing other than intuition lol.)

hm this section is suspiciously resembling "ferru: the postscript." well we all see a lot of juanki, he's doing great lol. if anything i think having ferru around is good for him, keeps him from getting too martyred. every time ferru and carlitos TEAM UP to tease juanki is jfkldajf;l so delightful. (to modestly quote my own tag, "just two dogs yapping at their favorite cat.")

but shipping nonsense aside: i genuinely think it is really lovely and heart-warming to see two people who clearly mean so much to each other and are still such a big part of each other's lives after so long—even/especially despite the changes. some people grow apart. some people grow together. :)

and if you want to throw in twenty years of pining SO MUCH THE BETTER

--

christ that is. so much text. uhhhh hopefully this was informative/entertaining/morbidly fascinating, and everyone who reads it will feel mysteriously compelled to start including ferruero subplots in their sincaraz fic. :D?? :D????

you have SO many options. practically married. one-sided pining for many years. (whooo in this post sounds like they would do that.) MUTUAL pining for many years. practically married but haven't realized it. tour arrangement but they caught feelings. second-chance romance years after a youthful failed fling. the parent trap, starring carlitos alcaraz— [curtain falls as i am forcibly dragged from the stage]

[daily-sapphic-song]

Arcane S2 A2 live thoughts:

Episode 4:

WHAT THE FUVK

the theories were right

I mean SAME MADDIE BUT DAMN

STINK MAWWWW

SCUTTLE BUTT

I think this is ishas imagination, no? Surely

LMAO knew it

So cute wtf holy shit

Signing??

CUTEEEE HOLY SHIT. OH MY GOD THEYRE SO CUTEE

Stillwater? How long have they been at this?

Oh hextech. Oh nice. Oh. Not nice. Uh oh

Oh shit

CHAOSSSS. HAHAHAHAH ISHA

I still cant believe maddie and cait are fucking LMAO

Tell her cait!!!

Hahahha Salo OMG HE LOOKS LIKE MY BROTHER NOW

Oh, singed?

Awww isha!

HAHAHHAHAH HER FINGER

Hahha sevika i love her

Oh jinx

How long has it been?? Oh no the tree

VANDER STATUE HE SAID OH NO

Jinxxers LMAO

Isha you little revolutionary

NO NOT THE GAMBA ARM

LMAO ISHA

Oh no isha

Singed??? Warwick, surely?

Oh my god

JINX??? GO GET UR KID

OH NO THE VISIONS ARE BACK

Singed LMAO

OH SHIT WARWICK this is really cool

LEFTIE HAHHA

Goofy ahh enforcer

LMAOOOOOOOO THIS ENFORCER IS SO FUNNY WTFFFF

EWWWWW Dont look at her like that

Ambessa. That was tense

Oh shit hextech

I got a bad feeling about this

Jinxxers

WHERES ISHA

Ambessa????

OH WARWICK OHHH SHIT

AWWWWW I LOVE THEM

Singed,,, BRO WHAT ARE U DOING

Oh shit. Wow this is cool

LMAO THEIR PANIC dude i would be panicking too that shits terrifying

Oh. A massacre

VANDER LOOK AT HER

YESSSSSSS AHHAHAHHA OH SHIT HE SPEAKS

OH SHIT NICE ENDING

Episode 5:

NICE VI

POOR VI

I hope jinx actually did visit her at some point that would be nice

OH SHIT SHE DID LETS GO

OH SHIT LETS GOOOO TELL HER

YESSSSSSSSSS YEAHHHHHHHJ LETS GOOO

Im gonna need to go on twitter or smth later to see all these easter eggs in these intros

I really want to know how vi will react to maddie and cait

Commander !

Why did singed stay there???? BRO

Cait???? Seriously???? RELAX

Ew. MEL? LETS GOOOO

NOOOOO MEL

HER BROTHER HUH?? SURELY. YESSS

I love vi and jinx teamup AND ISHA

TELL HER JINX HAHAHAHAHAHA

LMAOOO SLAP oh

This must be cathartic oh

Oh

Oh

VI YOU yeah wake up vi

YESSSSS

Wtf mel

Wtf ambessa

MEL IS NOT BEATING THE PREGNANT ALLEGATIONS

Oh i love cait

For love

Oh is his daughter still alive??? Wtf

Surely shes a league character

Wtf? Is he fake OH LMAO

EW

OH SHIT

Lets go vander

OH IS HE GOING TO ATTACK ISHA

OH

Horror movie

LMAO ISHA

YESSSSSSS

Silco <3

Is that not like, the woman that was dead on the bridge in the opening in act one??? Am i wrong

FUCKING KNEW IT

SO THEYRE VANDERS BIO KIDS???? Oh

Are they hugging YEAHHHHHH

YESSSSSS LETS GOOOOOOO

WTF ?

Jayce??

WHAT THE FUCK

EWWWW

LMAO IM SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY

WTF JAYCE EWWW

Episode 6:

Viktor??? Sky? Wtf

Oh shit i like this

I do like that shes getting some hand to hand training

SHUT UP AMBESSA

LMAOOO VANDER

Huck??

Hope nobody steals those gloves

NO ISHA BAD ISHA I SAW THAT

No way they heal him right? Probably just heal his mind or smth

Oh cool

LMAO JINX

LMAOOOOO

Oh cool

NOOOO THIS IS SO SAD

oh. Sibling bonding

"We?"

This isnt good

CAIT IS HEREEEEE

Viktor???

Can he read minds or something tf

HE SAID IT HE SAID THE THING

WHERES MY CAITVI LETS GOOOO

LMAO oh shit

Come on vi

Oh. CAIT????

JAYCE????????

CAIT ISTG

Ambessa LMAO

Surely cait is helping vi

LETS GOOOOOOO

HAHAHAHHAHA LETS GOOOOOO

LMAOOOO

oh jayce

EW

NOOO CAIT

HAH VANDER

LMAOO

is he fixed??

CAIT WHAT ARE U GONNA DO

JAYCE WTF

VIKTOR

OH SHIT

NOOOOOOOOO

Ishas song??? Oh no oh no oh no

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT ARE U DOING ISHA

NONONONONONONONONO

ISHA ISHA NONONO

NO WAY

[sapphos-corner]

As the Seasons Pass Ch. 1 "Mid-July" ☆ A sapphic fiction story

Synopsis: Genie has been struggling with a homoerotic friendship. She meets a girl named Valerie through this friend. Tonight is the first time she's hanging out with Valerie one-on-one. Platonically of course. This story is gonna be a very slow burn, so this chapter surrounds the first stage of building the dynamic that Genie and Valerie will have. This is part one, but there is a background chapter that surrounds the homoerotic relationship Genie has. If you'd like to check that out, it's linked in my pinned post.

Contains: Nervous Genie. Car ride. General sapphic nervousness and awkwardness. Concert. Slice of life. Indirect kisses:p

Warnings: Although there isn't smut in this chapter, this story as a whole is not for minors. If you're not 18+ you are not welcome here, I mean this in the nicest way.

Word count: 1.6K

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wake up to another instagram notification, a DM from Valerie.

@/Valthehuman: Wait would you want to hang out? Like before the next group hangout? There's a show tomorrow night at that bar you were asking about, if ur free/interested in going. I have an extra ticket too?

@/Geniesirius: Yeah omg, that sounds so fun, just let me know what time! :)

There's a bubbly, fluttery feeling rising in my chest that actually makes me excited to get out of bed. I head out to the kitchen and make breakfast.

My phone lights up and I pick up my phone with a record amount of speed. It's not Val. It's one of the scam texts about the election. I roll my eyes and put my phone down.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm in the middle of drawing a cute little neurographic-style page when my phone lights up again. This time it's her.

@/Valthehuman: Awesome! It starts at 7:30, do u wanna meet there or I can pick you up? It’s kind of a hard place to find unless you know what you’re looking for.

@/Geniesirius: Yeah that would be so nice actually, i hate driving into downtown :)) I'll send my address over in a sec!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm really anxious getting ready. Val's so cool and effortless. I've gone through three different outfits, I probably should have asked about the vibe.

I grip my phone and start scouring Val's page in an attempt to find the band that's playing tonight. I click on her tagged photos and scroll a bit, revealing a picture of a crowd with Val front line and center. Her eyes were wide and she had the biggest smile I've ever seen on anyone's face.

The caption reads: "So lucky to have had some of my closest friends at my first show." Posted by @/jennadummy.

After going through her feed, I see she's the drummer of this band. I watch a few of the reels and it seems to be a pretty eclectic alternative band. This is good. Everyone at the shows dress pretty casual and the crowds run pretty small.

I settle on some black cargo pants and a lavender babytee. I accessorize with some silver jewelry and spritz some peach perfume on my neck and wrists. She's picking me up in an hour and I feel a ball of anxiety building in the pit of my stomach.

I keep telling myself it's not a big deal, because it's not. I'm just hanging out with a new person and making a friend. It's not like im going on a tinder date with a stranger or something. It's literally not even a thing it's just a stupid little hangout in a public place. Oh and a forty-five minute drive with someone that's had maybe six minutes of screentime in my life so far. Fuuuuuck fuck fuck fuck fuck what are we even gonna talk about for forty-five minutes?

I pick my phone up again and start stalking her socials again, I have to find at least one thing I can resort to if things feel too quiet and weird. She has the link to her spotify in her bio, truly a godsend. She only has one playlist titled 'everything' and it's over two thousand hours long. I scroll through and see we have a ton of bands and artists in common, I click through and sample the songs and artists I don't know. All niche, obscure bands that have under a thousand monthly listeners.

In the middle of my venture, a random number texts me.

234-555-6789: Hey it's Valerie, I was wondering if you wanted to pick up some food or snacks or something to eat on the way? If so, I'll probably be on my way now, if that's okay?

I forgot we exchanged numbers earlier, my heart almost jumped out of my chest when I saw it was her. The stress I'm feeling is borderline ridiculous, but no matter how hard I try to overcome it, I can't help but turn into a puddle of nerves before I hang out with literally anyone, even (correction: especially) Sabrina.

Me: Yeah, that sounds awesome actually. I'm ready to go too so just lmk when ur on the way:))

She leaves a heart on the message and lets me know she'll be here in ten minutes.

It feels like a mass of knots are winding and tightening in the pit of my stomach. My hands are shaky and my breath is shorter than it usually is when I get nervous before going out.

I head outside two minutes before her ETA so she won't have to wait on me. She pulls up and her car is insane. It looks brand new, and it's a dark blue color.

I walk around to the passenger and open the door.

"Heeeeey, You look good." The smile on her face is major and she reaches over for me and pulls me into a tight hug.

"Hey, thanks for inviting me, it's good to see you again. You look really good too." I find that last part couldn't help but come out fast paced and slightly jumbled. She's wearing an olive green oversized button up, which is of course, unbuttoned. Underneath is a white tank top and her pants are dark and baggy. Her hair is shaggy and reflects the light, complimenting its natural black color with an orange and yellow shine. Her eyes are decorated with smudged black eyeliner, and her lip tint is a neutral brown color. If her appearance could be summed up in one word, it would be 'androgynous.'

She drives with one hand and sings under her breath so softly you'd never know she was doing it unless you paid attention. Which I'm totally not, by the way.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"My passenger door is kinda fucked up right now, so I gotta open it from outside."

She turns the wheel so smoothly, and she purses her lips as she parks. When she stops the car she develops a wide smile.

"Parked right on the first try swag"

I feel my face scrunch as I laugh through my nose. "should we call bella hadid?"

Mutual laughter erupts and she opens the driver door and steps out of the car. She speed walks over to my side and pulls the handle with a slight urgency. She walks a little quicker than me, opening the door to the gas station before I can reach it. As I walk past her, I am greeted with a lightly cologned smell. It's very woody with some light notes of vanilla.

"Thanks. You're so chivalrous."

"You gotta be while courting."

I turn my head towards her and we make eye contact. She starts shaking her head quickly. Her eyebrows lifted, her eyes squinted, Her lips upturned and pushed together awkwardly.

"I'm.. kidding.." She says semi-convincingly. For some reason a slight sense of grief stirs in my chest. Random.

"I wouldn't be mad if you were."

"You're bad at flirting."

"Me? You're...awful. Jesus. What kind of trouble are you trying to get into in the seven eleven, though?"

"Oof i don't know. Perhaps an energy drink and something sweet. How 'bout you?"

"I think I'm gonna opt for the same."

I settled on the cherry limeade celsius and dark chocolate covered pretzels. She got the sour patch kids 'ghost energy' and a bag of jolly ranchers.

"Do you like these?" She gestures to her drink.

"I've never tried it, but sour patch kid flavor is...borderline unhinged."

"Wanna try it?" She cracks the can and hands it over to me. I reciprocate the gesture and we switch cans.

"Wow this is actually really good." She lifts her eyebrows and nods her head in approval.

"This tastes radioactive. I'm getting one every time I go to the gas station now."

We re-swap and she starts back on the road.

"Would you mind handing me a jolly rancher?"

"Yeah, of course. What's your favorite flavor?"

"Blue raspberry! How about you? You can have as many as you want, by the way."

"Cherry for sure. Blue raspberry is up there too, obviously."

I grab one of each and slip hers in between her pointer and middle fingers on the wheel.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

She opens the door for me as we step into the club. The entire place is consumed by red lighting, the walls are covered in art and it's a pretty good turnout.

"You wanna drink!?" She nods her head towards the bar

"Yeah for sure!"

She grabs my hand as we walk through the crowd. Her hand is cold and soft.

"So how do you know the band!?"

"I've known the drummer since second grade! we're still good friends!"

"Do any of your other friends from school come to the shows!?"

"Yeah, our friend group from high school comes to the shows, the ones that still live nearby, at least! They should all be here tonight though!"

"That's pretty cool!"

"What do you want to drink!?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

She insisted on covering the tab. I got an amaretto sour and she got a lemon drop martini. We walk over to the crowd and she scans the area.

Val leans in close to my ear "They're over here."

She grabs my hand again and leads me to her friend group. She introduces me, and then tells me everyone's name. I repeat it to myself in my head until it sticks. Serena, Polly, Annie, Jolene, Belle, Bridget. Serena, Polly, Annie, Jolene, Belle, Bridget. Okay, got it. I think. The group and I exchange hellos and I catch Belle smile and raise her eyebrows at Valerie. As subtly as possible I look to Val, who blushes and slyly shakes her head.

The band comes out and the crowd 'woos' in encouragement. Jenna starts screaming, which absolutely catches me off guard. The group laughs along with the rest of the audience and the singer steps up to the mic. Val turns to me and whispers in my ear. "She's just like that, it's part of her shtick."

After a short and sweet introduction, the music starts.

I catch a glimpse of Val dancing. I can't help but smile, she looks so happy. Her black eyeliner is a little more smudged than before and her eyes glitter in the red lighting. I think this has crossed the line from a glimpse to a stare as I notice Polly in the background furrow her eyebrows and cross her arms.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You came on the right night, that was one of their best sets ever."

She speeds past me as we get closer to the car, opening the door for me.

[wewebaggit]

i love how ur bio says safe space for hopper haters bc too many ppl in this fandom are always like “whaaaaat!? but how can u not like jopper 🥺” when he is not only a full grown man who abuses his power and was horrible to Joyce in s3 but also his character itself is literally copaganda

and it’s concerning and so weird (but also unsurprising) that jopper is like… elevated as this god tier ship, even in queer spaces, when in reality it’s pretty mid and also why would I want to ship Joyce byers with a cop

Hey booksandpaperss!

I am a safe space for ALL HATING. But specifically Jim Copper hate simply because he is shown a lot of undeserved grace by the fandom and the writers.

Since it's now in vogue to hate on s3 I'll take this opportunity to escape being called a negative nancy for once and just a hatering hater. Here goes:

My hate for Hopper is not as a result of season 3 but in fact it began with s2. (s1 a wee bit) But truly honestly deeply since season 2.

Hopper in season 2

After giving up Eleven's location in the prior season, Hopper then out of the goodness of his heart (😒) starts leaving Eggos for El in a reverse HansEl and GretEl. The feral El now has a home. But is it a home? Or just another prison? Hopper leaves her alone in the cabin with nothing but a TV. And so El spends her days mindlessly going through all the shit the idiot box has to offer. The only time she's actively interested in the TV is when she wants to use the static to get into the void. Because she has been kept away from the ONE friend she made out of the lab. And let's bffr. It's Mike. She is looking for Mike. And Mike too is the only one thinking about her. Hopper keeping her away from him and lying and being nothing but and angy aggressive cop of a dad is supposed to make the audience feel.....wait what are we supposed to feel? Mad at Hopper? Cuz the end result was people hating on El rebelling against Hopper. And it is all because El's resolution at the end of the Lost Sister episode was......that she needed to go back to Hopper and her friends. However, again it is a point in time when Hopper's at the lab and in mortal danger.

So since we love deep dives and shit and developing lore around characters, would she have been compelled to return to Hopper were he just, idk sitting in his cabin or at the station or whatever. A lot of ST is just about characters deciding to do stuff when someone is in REAL DANGER™️ But specifically with Hopper, he only steps up as dad when El's in danger. Otherwise he's treating her as a pet, something Mike was wrongfully accused of.

The whole entire (almost) year that El was with Hopper we do not see a change in her personality. Her rage has worsened. Her vocabulary is still lacking. In spite of the word of the days. There's no female presence in her life. He neither recruited Joyce nor her aunt (though that would have been sus, agreed n yet would it have been any different seeing as El managed to do it alone.) She's been held hostage for her own good.

Hopper: You put us in danger.

El: You promise. I go. I never leave. Nothing ever happens.

And then he grounds her. Like she was living it up otherwise. (S2E4)

We know it was because this was El's story of rebellion and trying to find her identity and so the story does not have Hopper do these things. But that still means that the story chose for Hopper to not do these things. He is even shown apologising (meh. half assed like his foil Mike, but that's for later) for it towards the end. And yet, that's something that's rarely discussed in fandom circles while talking about Hopper.

Hopper in Season 3

Oh he proves he's a blackhole alright. Sucked Joyce's character development. He's only marginally improved letting Mike see her but beyond that it's still mostly the same. She still is under-socialised. Speaks like that. El herself seeks out Max. Joyce is still too busy being ungrateful (I know not the intent, but the execution nonetheless) she's still not leaving the cabin much and has some curfew. Again which is, well why is it there? Cuz she's been coolly gallivanting with Max at the mall and everywhere else without a problem.

He's a proper asshole to Mike and a bully. Who tf threatens murder to a 13 year old kid? Like between having a chat and threatening homicide, he could come up with ZERO options. He needs emotional laxatives that aren't just anger and bullying.

Hopper in season 3 is an unfunny comic relief. A man baby. A bully who uses his cop privileges. Who treats the woman he supposedly likes like shit. He was so mad about Joyce not meeting up with him despite her telling him the reason. I mean mister you did that with Eleven too and just expected her to understand. The juvenile hUmOUr and the macho man action scenes where he's outwitting trained Russian mercenaries (lmao) is a step down from the basement he was already in. Him treating Alexei like shit when he was the only one who could have helped them. Make it make sense. (Anti-Russia/USSR pro USA copaganda and nothing else)

Also beyond all of this I simply hate Hopper for taking away valuable screentime from the kids that this show is supposedly about but hasn't really been that for some time now. He's a white male war veteran cop who's a Hawkins native and was a popular kid in school too. So he's not even an outsider in terms of being the new man in town, let alone the shit that really matters.

Hopper in Season 4

Not dead enough.

Jopper throughout the show

Mid chemistry. Joyce is already a semi-absent mother but becomes entirely absent after Hopper's message from Russia. She has ZERO clue of what her kids are going through in Cali and then has the fucking audacity to walk out on them without even letting them know that she might not return. She also leaves the only responsible person in that household with the charge as if she ever took it. She is now been relegated to being the comic relief which is neither comical and far from a relief and Hopper's girlfriend. Every season she has proven to be right on the money with her instincts and every season everyone including Hopper question her as if she's the dumb one. Hello. Do you guys clear up your memory after every season? It's annoying and one note. Hopper is a jealous manbaby all of s3 and a fucking liar. "i shOuldn't hAVe seNt yOu the LeTteR" Bitch u did. You wanted out. Dasvidaniya! El's college fund. But you'll only need it if you make it through school 🤷‍♀️. WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN HOMESCHOOL HELLO. Though I do commend the subversion of the found family trope where both the adults are pathetic parents. Do love one of the main couples being failparents! (is that a thing? or are they pioneers?)

[shytastemakerthing]

Hello can i have a romantic twisted wonderland matchup plz

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: heterosexual ally

Zodiac: Capricorn

Appearance: 5’2 African American hourglass body type black curly wavy hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks (i also wear glasses now but only 50% of the time cause im still getting used to it)

Personality: kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward clumsy low self esteem low confidence sassy sarcastic soft spoken

Likes: animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime cartoons music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets and bread helping

Dislikes: spiders loud sounds people who harm others people who dont take others into consideration people i care about not caring for themselves not being listened to math and math tests weird holes and patterns

Love language:

Giving: acts of service gift giving and physical affection if they’re comfortable with it

Receiving: words of affirmation and physical affection

Extra: i pace a lot i talk to myself i sing when im alone and im a picky eater

Thank u

Hello! Thank you so much for your ask and for your patience! While looking this over, I has to really think about who to match you up with because I had so many ideas and who to match you up with but I finally managed to find who I think would be best!!

I match you with.......

Idia Shroud

🎮 Okay, it took me a while to finally decide and each idea took me right back to our believed firey haired, introverted housewarden, and for good reason.

🎮 90% of your personality corresponds with his own and from that alone has both of you corresponding rather well with one another.

🎮 Now, it took a good amount of time before the relationship even started between the two of you, also because of your personalities. It took a lot of movie nights, anime marathons, all night game nights, and even a little bit of talking here and there between all of that, and with a good help and push from Ortho, he managed to confess and yes, his hair was a furious shade of pink both during and after the confession.

🎮 Afterwards? Once in this relationship with you, knowing you for as long as he had, and growing more and more comfortable around you, you certainly begint k see his more confident side, how his ego soars when he defeats a rather hard boss or how you greatly compliment his skills. He will soak all that up like a freaking sponge.

🎮 He has his own bouts of low self esteem (who are we kidding, he has them basically 24/7), but he will not stand seeing you with such low self esteem. How do you not see just how wonderfully amazing you are?! You are basically the limited edition, once in a lifetime UR pull and he managed to be the one to call you his! He didn't even think he was one of the options! This is where he likes to help you out......

🎮 Physical affection isn't his strong suit, it really isn't, but when time self esteem gets bad enough, he will push right on through thay, trying to be exactly what you need in moments like this. It starts off simple, his fingers gently latching onto yours, and if you don't show signs of pulling away, that's when he pulls you close to him, so your basically enveloped in his tall frame. Both of your personal favorite is now when you're drawing in his usual hoodie, laying in his bed, and snuggled under the warm covers while watching an anime or watching him play a game.

🎮 As for him? Anything you give him is treated as if it were the most precious thing in the world (it is) and he has grown all but addicted to your touch and when not anyone anyone else and in the comfort of his room or yours, he will actively seek it out (it's honestly like watching a cat leaning into you for affection and it's beyonf adorable).

🎮 It literally says in his bio that this man loves sweets. That they are his favorite food (not exactly food, but okay), so expect him to have a stash located literally anywhere and everywhere. Even in your dorm room, he now keeps a stash.

🎮 Overall, it took a lot of time to actually get into a relationship with him but it really was all worth it in the end. He loves you, and he wouldn't change that for anything in the world.

[creppersfunpalooza]

hi can u tell me more about Koi and ur ocs i think they’re really cool !!

yeah absolutely!! now that u have background knowledge i can tell you more about his backstory.

Koi is not a human. he thought he was, as did most people around him. the only people who really knew was his mom (Clarissa Riverson), his dad (Samuel Riverson, he’s dead now but we’ll get into that later), a private medical staff (to be fair they never knew much about it, they just knew he definitely wasn’t normal), and the D.A. later on. also Astir Bettencourt (i’ll talk abt him some other time if someone asks) but that was his own personal conspiracy theory and he told himself that there was no way that was even plausible (it was!)

koi’s actually a dreamwalker (don’t know if i’ll keep the name, but that’s what it’s been for years so), which is basically a shapeshifting being able to see into and alter the dreams and thoughts of others. in the beta version they could also take over someone’s body and possess it (with the drawback being that their natural form would be asleep while doing this), but i don’t know if i’ll keep that. if i do, it’ll only be for much more experienced ones. Dreamwalkers come from the Void and have very specific and strict customs and practices and have a very spiritual culture, considering themselves descended directly from their gods. Among one of these customs is letting their young develop their own forms free from anything else’s influence by keeping them in isolation for a number of years until they’re fully developed. somewhere along the timeline there was a massive doomsday event which lead to a mass extinction or something i don’t know the dreamwalkers have had a ton of rewrites i kind of lost track of what exactly happened. i need to rewrite them again too so a lot of this is bound to change. but yeah, most of them are dead. somehow koi’s bio. parents managed to like toss him out of the dimension or something seriously i don’t know i need to rewrite stuff desperately but i’m doing things in chunks and that’s not what i’m worried abt rn.

so yeah, koi’s form original is basically an amalgamation of random things he saw as a tiny guy, resulting in a primarily humanoid form. this has some interesting results though when you take into account that these were mainly just outside appearances with makeup and such, not to mention the fact that there were no internal organs that made sense with the regular human’s anatomy because, well, he didn’t ever see anything like that.

Along comes Clarissa, a wealthy businesswoman/CEO of a quickly growing tech company. She sees a random kiddo who seems to look less human the more she looks at it? that’s her son now. yeah no questions asked. that’s clarissa for you. she doesn’t question the strange or abnormal and welcomes it with open arms. For his own safety, she raised him as a normal kid and put in an effort to help keep his form consistent enough that it wouldn’t be questioned. before she knew for sure that he was, well, abnormal, he still had normal public healthcare. this turned out to be a terrible idea. fortunately, most people are very susceptible to hush money!

Koi’s dad, Samuel, was a pretty generic guy. i don’t know how else to describe him. Koi didn’t ever know him that well, but he worked with Clarissa under her company. One night during a fundraiser she was hosting, he had to leave early for whatever reason. He didn’t return home. A few days later, his car and body was found in the woods, heavily damaged. Many of the wounds he suffered didn’t quite make sense, but nothing came of it during investigation. After that, Clarissa became much more protective of Koi. She never really had him in the public eye to begin with, but after that, she was even more careful about it. In the following years after her husband’s death, she gave him a lot of attention. Unfortunately, work picked up again and she was forced to focus more on her career than him, pretty much removing her from his life with the exception of a few occasional visits and check ins.

Koi grew up pretty lonely. his personality was considered overwhelming to a lot of people and he had a tendency to ramble about stuff nobody seemed to ever care about. He did, however, manage to make one notable friend. Juniper. Juniper’s mainly rewritten already so most of this is up to date. She also struggled a lot with making friends and had very overbearing parents who barley even let her leave the house other than for school. The two quickly became inseparable and started dating in their freshman year of high school. In their junior year (maybe sophomore, haven’t decided yet), Juniper became friends with a girl named Eshima, who quickly joined their little friend group. Eshima’s got her own silly plot line and had a major crush on Juniper in high school, but that fizzled out over time (mostly!). Koi barely graduated, considering the fact that he struggled to ever pay attention or understand what was being taught and even ditched class pretty often. Juniper on the other hand was kind of known to be a straight A student due to a lot of academic pressure from her parents. She helped him a bit (a lot). Juniper was looking yo go to a college for astrophysics and managed to get a pretty good scholarship, Eshima attended law school because her dad wanted her to (but dropped out after a few years, which stirred up a bit of family drama), and Koi… Well, considering everything, it was obvious he wouldn’t get a scholarship or anything. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even get accepted into a college.

until that letter showed up. it advertised a new experience, one that would be far more interactive and still provide a proper education. it sounded perfect.

you know what happens from there! ish.

anyways here’s some general facts about him!!

- he was 17 when he graduated and just about 18 when he joined the D.A.

- clarissa used to take him literally everywhere with her. like he was not allowed to leave her side.

- he really likes the super sugary smoothies and energy drinks. he just has a major sweet tooth in general

- He was ~22 when he got out of the D.A. and is 23-24 in present time (this may change)

- I don’t know how this works considering species but he may have ADHD and obviously CPTSD

- He’s pansexual

- technically, he doesn’t have a gender assigned from birth. whether that makes him trans or not is up for interpretation imo because dreamwalkers don’t really have genders. bliss just goes by she/her because it works better for communication but she’s agender

- While he’s not polyam himself, he’s alright with open relationships

- He’s a big sci-fi nerd and before the D.A. was absolutely obsessed with Star Wars and Star Trek too. i like to think that he and Juniper would just hang out and watch stuff together. He’d reference it to no end. He also probably collected dvds and such.

- Due to the burn marks on his arms, he always either wears arm warmers, thick bracelets, or long sleeved shirts and hoodies.

- In beta, he had a much more feminine fashion style. i decided it doesn’t fit his character though. i mainly just did it because it was easiest for royale high which is where i used him a lot LOL

- His canonical friends include Kate (somehow. i don’t know how yet. in fact there’s no reason they should be friends.), Ophelia (surprisingly), Eshima (it’s a bit complicated. eshima thinks he just cut them off completely and he’s not ready to tell her what happened yet.), and That One Guy Who I’m Not Sure If I Should Re-name Or Not Because Of Silly Stuff

if u want me to go into depth for any other characters just lmk i love talking about these silly guys

[daisychainsandbowties]

What are your favorite old memes?

alright then fuck me

disclaimer: i have no concept of time. also a loose grasp of what a meme is. i'll do a detailed top 5 & then some honourable mentions

charlie the unicorn. asked my mum today if she remembers me being 10 & liking that yt video and she said "shut the fuck up casper". so u get the vibe. cursed, brilliant.

2. mr happy face. also a youtube video. i won't link it because you shouldn't watch it please god. but also, there's a story behind why i like it. i joined boy scouts when i was 11 & there was a girl i had a crush on (yes girl butch babies in boy scouts)

& she LOVED knives (i have a type) but her parents wouldn't let her have a penknife so i decided i would, in true mating-ritual style, give her one of my knives. it was stainless steel and had this fat curved blade and she adored it and for one fleeting moment i had all the girl game on the planet. but she also decided to name it (as you do) & it was called Mr Happy Face.

3. any and all star wars memes tbh, but especially any involving my boy the gender euphoria himself obi-wan kenobi.

the GEnErAL KEnObi meme. this is imo the funniest version of it

also this one

4. any lord of the rings meme BUT have to genuflect to the king the one the only

it's 16 yrs old GOD i was 9. spamming the melty face emoji

my man sean bean. he can hit but like, he'd die before he got to 2nd base. sad.

5.

i still play skyrim & every time i hear this i want to eat my controller so this is clearly the beef stock cube of memes

honourable mentions

the itachi thing where it was like sasuke going 'hey, itachi' fucking 20 times and itachi going WHAT!!!!!??? & then sasuke goes '.... hi.'

the world ending in 2012 (you laugh but a boy in my class cried)

the fucking!!! millennium thing. where they were like 😱 computer code will BREAK (idk) my dad made like 300 euros just sitting in the office at midnight on NYE 1999. it was called the Y2K scare here look . to me it is a meme bc my dad breaks down laughing every time he forgets he already told me about it.

grossly misspelling benaflick cumbersome's name

centipedes in my vagina. salute queen.

none pizza with left beef

blue waffle (purely for the hysteria it caused in my friend group. can u guess i did not hang out with the most reasonable the less-prone-to-drama girlies?) DO NOT LOOK IT UP. i never have and i am so happy.

dividing by zero. my friend once fully slapped my calculator out of my hand bc she thought we would both die

gaia online is a meme to me. fuck that place fr. had my first online girlfriend on there though. and my first death threat. let's call it a historical monument then

again. not a meme. but does anyone else remember freewebs? where you could just make ur own website? & host ur own little forums. i THRIVED. made like 15 websites for my favourite video games that these days would be called wikis.

look shoot me if you want but potter puppet pals was fucking hilarious.

people's bios on ff.net. you really had to put every single quote you like from anything ever up on ur home page.? why.

the jelly donut meme from pokemon.

ask ketchum being 10 for 25 years

the math lady meme. she is so real for that.

[sporesgalaxy]

hii there!! i hope u dont mind me asking but like. okay im also really really looking to go into biology- mainly because i love the study of life/organisms so much, and ultimately i'd love to become a paleontologist... however, looking at most of the tracks in colleges (which i've already signed up for), a lot of math and chemistry are involved. i Really struggle with these subjects so i want to ask, if you happen to have any knowledge- are these really intense or as daunting as they seem? i dont see myself doing any sort of job that involves like.. complex algebra equations (im aware things like statistics are important), but i know i've got to get through some of these to do what i want in life. ty if you have any info and ive loooved ur recent bio posts im eating them like an anteater

Well! Unfortunately, I don't have an easy answer for you. It really depends on the teacher you get, how the cirriculum is covered, and why you struggled with these subjects.

It might be a good idea to check out the ratemyprofessor entries for the prof.s teaching these subjects at the school(s) you're looking at, to try and get an idea if they're teavhing style could work for you.

I'll tell you what my experience was like as someone who struggled with those subjects too, and hopefully it will give you a better idea of what to expect.

I struggled with math throughout elementary, middle, and high school because of undiagnosed ADHD and anxiety. I often found myself thinking that I'd be doing better if I didn't have to do so manh repetetive problems.

I found my college math classes to be much more manageable by comparison. My professors tended to assign fewer repetetive questions, and there was more variety in the way concepts were applied, which kept me engaged with the work so I wasn't constantly losing my train of thought. But there are a lot of other professors in the world, so that may not be the case everywhere.

Another game changer for me was that many college math professors OFFER PARTIAL CREDIT. If I set everything up properly but pressed the wrong button on my calculator, many professors I had would consider my answer MOSTLY correct.

ALSO: All the math classes I had to take allowed (specific types of) calculators on the exams. I suck ass at basic multiplication but I can set up a hugeass equation like a CHAMP so that was a HUGE help for me.

A lot of math in biology is used for statistics and for determining how things are changing when you study them. I generally found the math needed for biology (and physics) easier to understand than more abstract algebraic equations because I could apply it to real-world situations and intuit approximately what would happen from my own experience. i.e. an exponentially increasing population... the curve looks the way it does on a graph because there are more reproductive individuals reproducing each generation, so the line will go up by a greater amount eith each unit of time that passes. Sorry I couldn't think of a clearer example.

I only took one chemistry class in high school, which I struggled in, and I unfortunately continued to struggle in college. I'm still not entirely sure what didn't click with me, to be honest. It just felt like I could never quite grasp all the factors and rules in my mind at once. It may have been anxiety, which I could only have solved by medicating myself sooner or exposure therapy via a lot more studying (didn't happen because I tend to avoid my stressors compulsively).

I had to retake all but one chemistry class that was required for my degree. I was never quite sure if the professors for summer chem classes just clicked with me more, or if going over the material a second time was what I needed. Once again though, you may be able to recieve partial credit in chem classes. In my experience, chemistry classes were more test-focused than homework-focused, and I often found myself wishing I had more homework to practice on, so finding additional study resources may be your best bet. I used Chemistry Libretexts a lot...

BUT ON THE FLIPSIDE: I had to retake, like, 3 different chemistry classes. I STILL GOT MY DEGREE THOUGH! I sucked a bit but I survived it! Keeping high grades in your electives can help keep your gpa where the college requires it to be for you to graduate.

[rotisseries]

came here to talk ab zelda but quick intermission. U ADDED A LITTLE LESBIAN FLAG TO UR BIO !!! ITS SO CUTE !!! ok intermission over

WOOAHH ok off the bat , lore cool. i love reincarnations and evil bitches using ancient tools to remake the world (this is your thesis for watchinf/readinf inuyasha btw. 😊♥️)

so ok i'm guessing that this is what happened in the game, each of them are based on the 3 goddesses im figuring (power/courage/wisdom) :DDD

AHHH RORI I SEE THE VISION EHEHRHJWDJSKDKOAKSOA WILL BYERS CODED .................. LIGHT AND PROPHESY ESPECIALLY. TRUE SIGHT AND ALSO HOW MIKE LOOKS AT HIM GAYLY ...... ALL THE LIGHT SYMBOLISM AROUND HIM COMBATTING MINDFLAYER/VECNA TEE HEE. and "Link traveling or being sent to these other lands in their time of need" hashtag mike wheeler season 4 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

verrrrryyyyyyyyyy stranger things coded especially the map part

also v stranger things coded

yes my bio! i think the lesbian colors are so pretty obviously so I was finally like oh I should put it in my bio!

anyway YES the lore is so cool!! I think it would be cooler if they'd do something more with ganon and not just have him be one-sided evil everytime but that is a discussion for another day!

and yeah the triforce is split! I don't know as much about the lore from the earlier games but I believe you used to actually be tasked with getting all 3 triforce pieces in most of the games, but then a lot of the more recent ones it's just become a link and zelda (courage and wisdom) have to fight ganon (power) thing. so yeah a lot of the earlier lore is the 3 triforce pieces and the 3 goddesses who created those triforce pieces, and those triforce pieces I think were also physical objects, and then the few more recent games it's more about another goddess, hylia, and her mortal descendant line, who all have the triforce of wisdom, and every generation's zelda has to work with link (triforce of courage) to defeat ganon (triforce of power) and it's no longer a physical object it's just magic they have.

and yes zelda and the light and wisdom it's SO WILL!! personality wise I don't think every zelda is equally will but that part sticks.

anyway thank you for reading the wiki you are the realest mutual

[ellovett]

OH EM GEE HIII KC

I saw ur tags on Tinsley’s update bio and THEY WERE SO FUCKING FUNNY

So i must ask if it is alright, for Corvus and Fayette’s thoughts on Tinsley?👁️👁️ or rlly anything ur mind comes up with for them ur so big brained

HAHAHAHAHA THIS IMAGE heehee OFC OFC anything for u jas <3 Tinsley was such a delight to psychoanalyze../pos

Corvus thinks Tinsley is sooooo cool, he thinks she's very fashionable and loves her sense of style!! It wouldn't be a surprise for Corvus to be all up in her face and be like "Hiiiii can I touch your hair? It's so nice, can I have those little pom pom balls too? I wanna eat one!"

I'm so sorry Tinsley they're so out of pocket, Corvus is such an unpredictable and weird force of nature, theyre like a natural phenomenon no one can pinpoint what exactly they are, but they're...something alright!

You can literally be the most ancient creature out there and Corvus would still want to examine you under a microscope and study your brain cuz he thinks your outfit is cool or something like that

Bros also the type to lean their elbow on Tinsley's head, this isnt out of anything derogatory and its not meant to insult her height either, Corvus is Just Like That KHFKJD

He still respects her as their senior though!

Shows her shiny rocks he found while they were hanging out on the campus rooftops.

It is also not uncommon for Tinsley to walk into the Diasomnia kitchen, and just see a pair of glowing red eyes silently eating straight from the pantry like some cryptid of the night LMAOO

"Oh hi Tinsley!"

"It's 4 am Corvus shouldn't you be asleep?"

"I had a dream where I ate all the cardboard cereal boxes, so I'm making it real!"

"What.."

"[CHOMPING] Oh do you want one?"

IM SORRYYYYYYYY im writing several formal apologies to Tinsley and her associates right now !!!!!/j



Fayette meanwhile is interesting, I feel like he's much older than both Tinsley and Lilia, so when he took notice of them both at the VDC at least 3 years ago before the events of twst, he realized that they both look awfully familiar

See, Fayette is old enough to have witnessed the start, the carnage, and the end of the Fae war [if that's the specific war you're talking abt KHFDJKD] SO LIEKKK, If He was involved in the war ! And Tinsley was A KNIGHT for the Draconia family !!!!!! U see where I'm going with this?

He wasn't a direct ally of the Draconia family per se, but he was a former scholar turned frontliner, being a powerful mage and all, I like to think the Bureau of Magic [sigh Ik they only mentioned this group once during the story BUT IM STICKING WITH IT] was first formed DURING this war, with Fayette being one of the first members.

I feel like the Draconia Family would have a few run ins with Fayette, so Tinsley would have seen him around talking to Malleus's parents about diplomatic things. But never quite interacting with him directly.

As for thoughts, Fayette knows Tinsley's past Knighthood, he silently commends her for it, is also rather delighted to know that he isn't the only fairy around! [Albeit he doesn't have his wings //anymore//] He still thinks it's nice to see

sad thought tho watching Tinsley and the others fly and he just watches them with a wistful look in his eyes...sobs

BUT OTHERWISE I THINKD THEY GET ALONG...Tinsley puts her puffballs everywhere and Fayette comes in clutch with his magic pouch full of sparkles, I feel like Tinsley would enjoy his classes too if she ever enrolled in RSA instead, an explorer like her would LOVEEE the wild ass field trips Fayette makes his students go on.

[ambrosialdesire]

I GOT MY OWN TAG.

SORRY FOR THIS LARGE PIECE OF TEXT. I SENT SO MANY

okay i scrolled down ur blog and here are some asks that were sent by me that i didnt tag:

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/745864741289934848/what-would-reader-and-reiners-baby-do-and-what?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/733380195887857664/if-reiner-never-got-his-glow-up-would-you-still?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/733376372476706816/i-was-wondering-why-reiner-looked-so-different-at?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/733317442356576256/do-you-block-ppl-who-dont-have-their-age-in-bio?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/733301221700616192/bros-dick-so-good-that-girlie-now-wishes-she-got?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/733199460999495680/okay-i-dont-know-why-it-took-me-so-ducking-long?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/733191866060816384/what-the-fuck-why-didnt-i-get-a-notif-for-p3-even?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/733134385629609984/speaking-of-reiner-when-is-the-update-coming?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/729744267597299712/do-you-think-gojo-is-dead-frfr?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/729127900766420992/so-since-youre-caught-up-with-jjk-i-think-are?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/729127270014451712/the-way-my-fingers-slipped-in-when-gojo-was?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/729050901130641408/jjk-fans-we-want-topless-gojo-gege-say-less?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/726951015287586816/desperately-need-to-know-what-happened-next-in-the?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/726950999587241984/i-cant-wait-for-october-4th?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/726879464367276032/reiner-fucking-nonconned-her-didnt-he-making?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/726525267757154304/have-u-ever-gotten-any-hate-asks-im-just-curious?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/726512945577836544/does-it-bother-you-that-most-if-not-all-ur-asks?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/725495828582711296/yn-in-your-reiner-fic-gonna-get-crushed-by-the?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/724594267740422144/cant-believe-you-think-jeans-s4-hair-looks-goofy?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/723527962226507776/i-saw-your-post-about-yandere-levi-so-i-was?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/723518029421494272/literally-gonna-read-your-recs-thank-u?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/723515914694393856/hiii-no-pressure-or-anything-but-do-you-know-when?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/723515499293671424/who-are-your-fav-writers-on-here-any-fic-recs?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/721151013267161088/from-the-three-things-youve-posted-so-far-whats?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/721131013076615168/i-cant-wait-for-your-next-post-3-also-fellow-se?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/718987631924576256/i-love-your-blog-so-much-i-have-your-notifs-on-3?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/718029829737512960/what-are-your-thoughts-on-yandere-levi?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/716906718659018752/do-you-have-any-other-works-planned-for-other-aot?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/716880033394868224/youre-probably-my-favorite-aot-dark-blog-your?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/713920568224808960/is-inamorato-going-to-be-a-series-or-is-it-just-a?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/713650429887676416/caco%C3%ABthes-is-so-good-thank-you-for-blessing-us?source=share

my different texting styles LMFAO (also i might've had a few other ones but i dont remember if it was me or someone else)

(u dont have to go back and tag these if u dont want LOL)

okay i know i have my tag in this one but THIS POST STILL MAKES ME LAUGH: https://www.tumblr.com/ambrosialdesire/740619238293766144/while-eren-is-in-titan-form-im-gonna-odm-my-ass?source=share

i actually tagged them all now that you've confirmed everything BUT OH MY GOD???? YOU WERE NOT LYING WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOURE LIKE 95% OF MY ASKS 😭😭😭 LIKE IM SO SHOCKED ESP WITH THE YANDERE LEVI ASK, THE MOST POPULAR POST ON MY BLOG RN

[celestie0]

can i just first say this is sincerely one of the best things thats ever happened to me in my time on this app 🤣 tysm for this, i was hoping an actual engineer and/or physicist would find this post and im so enthralled rn

I am coming in here as a Professional Engineer who works with fluid flow all day and won't be distracted by imagining Gojo's girthy, throbbing member pulsing inside me as I feel his warm... What was I saying?

i literally screamed at this lmfao thx for matching the humor in ur peer review i cld cry

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE UNTIL RN THAT L ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE LENGTH OF VAGINAL CANAL ITS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE FROM HIS URETHRA omg i gasped. i feel like how i used to feel leaving lecture halls in college thinking i slayed tf outta my physics exams n then the score comes back 44%🧍🏻‍♀️🤣 also tyvm for drawing over my diagram i am so greatly honored by this

omggg p1 is also supposed to be pressure at urethra n not vaginal entrance bc thats where the fluid is cumming from🧍🏻‍♀️………..this is why i stuck to bio LMAO im so humbled rn 🤣🤣 also godbless articles w the value in the title 🙇🏻‍♀️

engineer reblog op, are u insinuating that gojo uses his infinity to block cervix bruising action LMFAOOO 🤣🤣 i seriously can’t w this rn (also thats a pretty dope form of birth control)

i’m a little lost on the explanation regarding his intrusion of the vagina canal 🤔 i had to draw it to understand i think this is what you mean:

i just tried to look up what a laplace transform is n saw the integral n felt like crying🧍🏻‍♀️but i was curious ab it n why you said it’s applicable here and hmm are u referring to how gojo’s infinity does not act as an actual physical barrier as gege has stated in jjk, therefore there is no true “length” we can approximate here if he uses his infinity? i notice in this article that explains how there is this Se^-a0t aspect:

(i havent taken calculus in over four yrs if im so wrong ab this pls excuse me lmaooo) but is this part of the equation related to t (as some variable in a function based on the context?) as it approaches infinity (aka in this case his thrusts as he approaches his infinity barrier within this vagina canal)? idk what the actual correct variable is to assign for t haha or if that’s even something to assign here

but in the case mentioned in that article with t approaching infinity, plugging that in would look like this i believe:

and then graphed:

again i’ve absolutely no fucking clue if any of this is right 🤣 BUT IF THIS IS WHAT YOU MEANT FOR USE OF THAT LAPLACE TRANSFORM THING THEN…….😨 i am so mind boggled by this. beyond simple use of infinity to restrict impregnation/cervical injury within the vaginal canal, i am so intrigued by the math behind his infinity technique in general!!! i also wonder, he mentions that people get slower as they get closer to him, might that imply the y-axis is some unit of distance? since as x approaches infinity and y approaches this bound value dashed line (lol i think there’s a name for it i cant remember rn tho) the values of y become increasingly smaller which would match what gojo stated 🤔 again i’m so fearful i’m talkin out my ass rn i feel so vulnerable 🤣 i was a bio/biochem major so i didn’t take much maths/physics but i’m very intrigued by this rn. also dont know if this is what u were referring to in the first place either lmao

Tragically, this leaves a whole 1.25" of your sex un-railed, but you'll live in the modern sense and die in the Victorian Poetry sense.

I CANT BELIEVE I GET TO READ THIS REBLOG FOR FREE LMFAO

also you’re tellin me the ideal lovemaking bpm matches the ideal bpm for cpr? 😭 so i can save someone’s life to “stayin alive” by the bee gees but i can also rock someone’s world to it too?

haha 5% as in for significance? (im so haunted by p values thats all that came to mind) BUT OK IM ALL ONBOARD W NEGLECTING STUFF

ouuu thank u for bringing up the linear speed to cross sectional area stuff i was rly confused ab that haha but also i think the reason i turned it into volume was i just made the wild assumption that it takes him one minute to cum 🤣 so mls per min -> how much he cums but thats a stretch n also doesn’t make much sense biologically either for a lot of reasons lol

YAAAAY OUR WOMBS ARE COMPLIANT WITH OHIO STATE ENGINEERING STANDARDS 👏🏼 GIVE IT UP FOR MOTHER NATURE

ok this is way too fucking long, i just wanted to dump my thoughts, pls do not feel as though u need to respond to this, dear engineer reblog op. you’ve made my entire week regardless.

also, to answer quinny’s question here

@quinnyundertow

i think possibly “putputput” is most correct.

ALR PEACE OUT ✌🏼

- ellie professionalgojobrainrotloser42069

what is the flow rate of gojo’s sperm? 🤔

😈 😈 😈 ALRIGHT LET’S FIND OUT

shoutout to m00tie @quinnyundertow since u said there's nothing that turns you on more than hearing how mobile a man's flagella are. this one's for you bb.

alright, first off, because his cum is confirmed to be both incompressible fluid as well as move with laminar flow, these attributes satisfy the conditions of pouiseulle’s law:

i had to do a little bit of research to determine if it was laminar or turbulent flow, and apparently sperm travels with both stokes & laminar flow, which is pretty interesting, and also moves in a sinusoidal propagating wave, likely due to the movements/shape of the flagella

note: microscopic sperm travel & ejaculate fluid travel are two very different things, but i can’t solve for anything microscopic here so we’re just gonna go for the ejaculate fluid only

anyways, to use pouiseulle’s law, let’s first determine our variables, and make sure we get the units right as well! always draw a diagram w all the variables:

now, let’s identify the variables:

1. radius (r) of tube -> this refers to the pipe/tube, therefore in this case, the vaginal canal. now since gojo has decided to creampie, we can assume that the radius of the vaginal canal will be equivalent to the radius of his girth as he is stretching you out. gege told me the diameter of his big fat schlong is approximately 3 inch girth, therefore the radius = 3/2 = 1.5 inches

2. ΔP refers to change in pressure gradient, in this case i’ve decided to have P1 as pressure at vaginal canal opening, and P2 as pressure at the end where the cervix is. therefore, ΔP = (P1 - P2) for the equation. i know you’ve got that gorilla grip coochie, esp when the world’s strongest sorcerer is fuckin you SENSELESS, but all things considered this is a very difficult parameter to measure, therefore i found this article to help out with this:

we’re going to assume “contraction pressure” (at the vaginal canal opening) is P1, due to gojo’s intrusion. and we’re going to assume “pressure at rest” is P2 at the end near the cervix (he’s pulled out a lil bit ok this makes things easier for me)

kPa are the units that we want for ΔP in this case, therefore it’s a simple calculation:

ΔP = P1 - P2 = 41.8 kPa - 26.8 kPa = 15 kPa

3. the last variable we need to account for here is L, which is the length of the PIPE HE’S LAYIN INSIDE OF YOU (jk it’s just length of ur coochie). now, i imagine this man is a generous lover, and he’s alr made you cum a few before he stuck it inside, so with arousal, the vaginal canal length has likely increased to about 5 inches (moreso 4.75in based on avg values in research but he stretched you in even more during the sexing!!) therefore L = 5 in

4. the other two values are just constants:

π = pi 3.1415 (imma just use pi function in calc)

η = this is viscosity of a fluid. based on this research article, the viscosity of human semen is approximately 9.35 cps. we want these units in kPa•s (remember that your units need to match the units of the other variables), so we need to use density of sperm (1.043 g/ml) to convert the factor (i just used chatgpt lol) but the conversion factor is pretty similar therefore we will just plug in something close to 9.35 kPa•s (true value is a little smaller)

ALRIGHT WONDERFUL! WE HAVE DETERMINED ALL OF OUR VARIABLES :) NOW WE JUST NEED TO PLUG IT INTO OUR EQUATION/DIAGRAM:

*note: mind the units! (shown in blue) there are lots of variations on how flow rate can be shown w the units, so u wanna be careful that they match

YAAAAY!! so the flow rate (Q) of gojo’s cum is approximately 0.63787 in^3/sec ☺️💕

use a quick converter online, and we can make it into liters per minute -> 0.02214 l/min. convert this to milliliters -> 22.14 mls

which means that, in one of gojo’s average cumshots, he cums 22.14 mls of ejaculate !!! :0 sheesh that’s a lot!!

but how does this value compare to other men? research varies, but on average, men ejaculate between 1-10mls per orgasm, therefore the world’s strongest sorcerer cums more than TWICE the worldwide average!!

and one final calculation shows us that when he finishes, it’s at about 0.369 mls per second :) that's fuckin fast!!!

thank you for cumming to my ted talk!! byee

alr ellie out ✌🏼😖 (i have sm brainrot)