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ah-ga-seven · 4 years

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Till The End of Summer - Chapter 15 (Bonus: The End)

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Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader

In a Nutshell: College!AU, Rich Kids, Friends to Lovers, Fuckboy athlete Yeonjun, Overprotective Best friend Soobin, contains all of TXT and other Idol cameos, Omnipresent perspective.

Genre: Fluff, Angst.

Synopsis: You and Yeonjun are caught up in a cat and mouse game because of unspoken feelings and endless pining for each others’ attention. With the summer break approaching and lots of college parties, will you finally get a chance to explore your feelings for each other; even though the world, Yeonjun’s family, past and reputation makes things complicated?

Word count: 7K

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: None??

Yeonjun was following you around the house like a lost puppy as you were running around like a crazy person, gathering stuff you needed while you were half-dressed and half ready to leave the house.

“Baby, slow down,” he says as he zipped up your dress from the back while you were putting on your heels.

“No, we’re gonna be late for our best friends' wedding. Ugh, I knew we shouldn’t have showered together, that always ends with dickstractions.”

Yeonjun stopped in his tracks, unable to suppress his laughter. “Did you just say dickstrations?”

You turn around on your heels, a little startled at how close he was. You hadn’t looked at him since he changed into his suit and suddenly you feel your mouth grow dry at the sight.

He noticed how you were gawking at him and grinned, holding you by your waist. “Like what you see?” he asks all seductively, running his hands through his roughly slicked-back black locks. He looked ravishing, even better than the runway models of his own fashion shows.

You nod, biting your lip as he inches closer for a kiss, but you stop him as realization hits you. “Babe no, my make-up.”

He rolled his eyes, letting go of you so you could finish getting ready, and sat down on your king-sized bed, watching you put on the diamond choker necklace he got you for Christmas last year.

“I can’t believe they’re getting married,” he mumbles as he stares into distance.

“That’s usually what happens when you get engaged, babe.”

Your tone was a little bitchier than you intended, but after 5 years of being together while all of your friends were getting married left and right, you had no idea why you hadn’t been proposed to yet.

The thing is, between Yeonjun starting his own luxury fashion brand and your demanding job at a scientific research facility, you haven’t had the time to even think about having a wedding of your own, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want one.

Yeonjun looked at you a little puzzled and just as he was going to open his mouth to speak, his phone started to ring.

You looked at him through the mirror as you put your diamond earrings on and by the frown that had taken over his features you knew it had to be work.

He picked up with a sigh. “I thought I told you not to call me today unless it was an emergency, so this better be good.”

Yeonjun as a businessman was a full 360 from who he was at home or with his friends. It’s not like he was an asshole but…the reason why his brand got to showcase its creations next to majors like Balenciaga and Céline so quickly wasn’t because of his soft side.

You make eye contact and you raise your brow in question, but he just silently mouthed that it was work as he opened your bedroom door.

He walked out, not wanting you to hear him rant to his employees about some fuck up on their side.

You quietly put your lipstick in your clutch as you hear him close his office door behind him. Well shit. It must be bad if he doesn't want you to hear.

You hoped that whatever it was wouldn’t spoil the mood.

You fix a piece of Yeonjun’s hair as he’s driving and pout. He was stressed and nervous, you could tell by the way he was biting the inside of his cheek. he was Soobin’s best man, and you were Mia’s maid of honor; so, you were heading there earlier to welcome the guests and help them wherever you could.

“Are you nervous baby?” you ask as you intertwine your fingers with his.

He sighs, raising your intertwined hand to his plump lips to give the back of your hand a sweet kiss before putting both of your hands in his lap. “I have so many responsibilities tonight, I thought weddings were supposed to be fun,” he mumbles, anxiety evident in his voice.

Yeonjun is a perfectionist, so everything had to go perfect today. And given the fact that he had quite the role to uphold tonight, if anything were to be less than perfect, he’d be to blame.

At least that’s how he sees it.

After all these years Yeonjun is still hard on himself, but since it comes from a place of love for Soobin and Mia his perfectionism is even worse.

“It’ll be funnnn” you drag your words as you shake his shoulder to get him to lighten up and it seemed to work as he displayed his pearly whites to you in a boyish smile.

When you arrive at the venue, you’re in complete awe of how beautifully the place was decorated.

White flower walls and branches were set up throughout the place, they had starlight projectors, big round tables for their guests and the stage was beautifully decorated with polaroid pictures of them and their loved ones.

It was breathtaking and absolutely adorable. From the details of the engraved silverware to all the guests' names on their respective champagne glasses, they literally thought of everything.

You excitedly look around as you hold on to Yeonjun's arm as you drag him around the empty venue. “Oh my god, and this! They’re polaroids from our college days look!” you point at one of the pictures on the flower wall in front of you and Yeonjun leans forward to look at the group picture of the boys, Mia and yourself.

“This was at my welcome home party, look. I’m knocked out on your lap.” You giggle excitedly and start looking at the other pictures with childlike enthusiasm and suddenly Yeonjun finds himself simping over how cute you are right now.

He looked around him and noticed how a few staff members were fixing some flower arrangements or plates without minding the two of you, which gave him the perfect reason to be clingy.

“You look so beautiful,” he says as he snakes his arms around your waist from behind, leaning his head on your shoulder.

You’re surprised by his sudden display of affection and try to turn around but he holds you in place as he softly kisses your neck.

“Yeonjun, stop. I swear if you leave a hickey, I’ll kill you. Both of our parents are coming.”

He smiles against your skin. “We’re adults.”

“No, I’m the adult, you’re a man child” you argue with a smile and he let out an amused chuckle, reluctantly letting go of you.

“Fine. Just wait till we get home.” He threatens as he casually smacks your ass.

Your moment was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat and when you turn around you are met with Soobin’s tall and handsome form.

He was wearing the white suit Yeonjun designed for him, his hair was slicked back and he had the prettiest smile on his face as he laid eyes on both of you.

“Soobin!” you yell as you launch forward to hug him. He stumbled a step back and chuckled as you hold him at an arm's length. “Wow, you clean up nicely. You look great! So handsome.” You compliment him with a wink and he smiles at you all giddily. “Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself.”

“Ok, enough doting on each other,” Yeonjun says rolling his eyes as he pulls you back so you’d stand next to him again. The action made both Soobin and yourself burst out into laughter.

“What are you jealous of, I’m literally getting married.’ Soobin boasts all confidently as he wraps an arm around Yeonjun. “I’m jealous that no one’s complimenting me.” Yeonjun pouts and your eyes nearly roll out of your skull as you hear Soobin trying to heal Yeonjun’s ego with compliments.

You softly knock on the door before you peek your head through and make eye contact with Mia through the full body mirror she was facing. Her parents were next to her as well as her brother and her make-up artist.

You both look at each other with shocked facial expressions and when you lock eyes with her, you immediately start to tear up.

She looked beautiful. The strapless lace mermaid gown she was wearing was absolutely show-stopping. Her hair was down, long and wavy, and her make-up was also flawless. You had never seen her like this, and suddenly it hit you that two of your best friends were getting married to each other.

“Mia…” your voice was almost inaudible and when she turned around to see the tears in your eyes, she started to choke up as well.

“Shit, no. Don’t make me cry, my face will melt,” she says as she starts waving her hands to fan herself and the two of you start to giggle as you move closer to embrace her carefully without ruining her attire.

You greet her family before they left to give you a moment alone and turn to her again once they left.

“How does Soobin look?” she asks all excitedly. They hadn’t seen each other today and looking at Mia you were sure that Soobin would start crying once he saw her. “Almost as pretty as you do,” you joke as you walk to the small window of her dressing room that had a view of the main entrance.

“Are you nervous?”

The place was already getting packed with friends and family, and you spotted the table you’d be seated at, seeing that the boys and their partners were already there.

“Nah, well maybe a little. I’m sure the nerves will go away once I look in his eyes.”

You pout at her cute statement and look at the clock. “Half an hour till showtime.”

“Oh, shit. Well, I have to get going. I’m taking some pictures with my family before the ceremony, I’ll see you in a bit!”

You nod at her with a smile as she rushes out of her dressing room and make your way down the stairs. You were scanning the halls for Yeonjun but couldn’t find him or the boys when you swore you just saw them.

Your parents would arrive any minute now too, so your mind was in overdrive trying to find any familiar face at this point. You decide to just make your way to your table but halfway there you felt a slight tug on your wrist.

“Y/n? Is that you?”

You turn around a little bewildered because you were so focused on finding either Yeonjun, your friends, or your parents but when you see the man in front of you, you almost want to disappear.

It’s your fucking ex-boyfriend. Of course, he’d be here, he’s Soobin’s cousin.

You try not to look too startled but when he goes in for the hug you can’t hide your shock at seeing him again after all this time. “Minjae?”

“The one and only.”

Ew. He’s still smug. What did you even see in him?

You look around quickly to find an excuse to leave but everyone was still missing from your assigned table.

“Can I just say, you look gorgeous. Red is your color,” he states while biting his lip as he looks you up and down. The action made you awkwardly scratch your neck in response. “Uhm, thanks.”

“Why are you alone?” he asks as he bit his lip, unapologetically looking you up and down.

“Oh, I can’t find my boyfriend, I think he went to prepare something with his friends.” You made sure to mention that you were seeing someone and that that particular someone was here with you right now, but Minjae didn’t seem to be fazed by the information

Your relationship ended on bad terms since he cheated and you. You left for college right after your breakup so you never really got closure, of course, you had to run into him here. Just your fucking luck.

“Hmm, is he in his right mind leaving a pretty girl like you all by herself out here?” he asks with a smirk while you try your best not to gag.

If you could tell him off, you would. But the last thing you wanted was to cause a scene at your best friends’ wedding.

“Uhm, I think I’m gonna go find him.” You try to escape but Minjae follows your figure and stops you from walking away by standing in front of you again.

“Wow wow, not so fast sweetheart, let’s catch up.” He caresses your upper arm and you flinch at the contact, subtly avoiding his touch.

“I know we didn’t end things on great terms but I’m a changed man, I swear,” he says as he takes a step closer. He was trying to intimidate you and clearly wasn’t fazed by the fact that people were passing by the two of you left and right as it started to get busier and busier while you only got more and more uncomfortable by his presence.

“Yeah…that’s nice Minjae but I-”

“and I mean, how serious could that relationship of yours be? I don’t see a ring on your finger.” He interrupts you, wiggling his fingers around to show that he wasn’t wearing one either.

You’re at a loss for words and just about had it. The audacity?

Soobin always hated Minjae, and now you are starting to understand why.

“Do you see the man on her arm?” Yeonjun’s voice was crystal clear.

He showed up out of nowhere, grabbing your hand to snake around his arm as he nonchalantly put his hand in his pocket while he looked Minjae dead in the eye with a stoic expression.

You cling onto him, relieved that he showed up. He checked on you quickly but when he saw the distress in your enlarged pupils his jaw clenched.

“Was he bothering you?”

Yeonjun didn’t give a shit. People were starting to look your way, including Soobin and his parents.

“I-”

“Oh, wait. You’re Choi Yeonjun, right? That designer.” Once again you are cut off by Minjae, and Yeonjun wasn’t having it, rolling his eyes as annoyance got the best of him.

“Yes. I’m surprised you know of my brand. Looking at your H&M suit I wouldn’t guess you could afford it.” Yeonjun says with a smug grin and all you can do is snort at his comment.

Minjae stiffened, not expecting Yeonjun to come for his throat like that but he tried to act nonchalantly; laughing it away.

“I-it’s Zara.” Minjae tries, but Yeonjun licked his lip as he looked down with a smirk. He pulled you into him and placed a kiss on top of your head. “Let’s get going baby. Soobin needs us to be ready.”

Yeonjun placed his hand on the small of your back to guide you to where Soobin was standing and you finally start to breathe normally again.

“Who the fuck was that?” Yeonjun asks visibly annoyed.

“Choi Minjae. I used to date him in high school,” You explain in a hushed tone as you make your way through the venue.

“Choi as in Soobin?” he asks wide-eyed

“Yes, they’re cousins.”

Yeonjun stayed quiet but you knew this would be a topic of discussion later on.

He wiped the annoyed scowl off his face as he approached Soobin and replaced it with a smile.

“What was that about?” Soobin asks as he turns to the two of you.

“Just Minjae being a dick. What else is new,” You sigh, making Soobin clench his jaw as he eyes Minjae who had by now sat down next to Soobin’s aunt and uncle at their assigned seats.

“It’s ok, Yeonjun told him off he won’t try it again. What’s a wedding without a little family drama am I right?” you try to calm Soobin’s protective side down a little, but even after all these years, nothing has changed in that aspect.

“He’s the ex that cheated on you right?” Yeonjun asked and you nod, giving him a look. “Let’s just let it go ok, the ceremony is about to start.”

Your attention is shifted to Hueningkai, who hugged Soobin from the back, making Soobin jump at the sudden attack. “Hiiii” he cooed as he rubbed his belly.

Soobin and Yeonjun start beaming at him and you watch them have their moment until he turns to you for a hug. “Hi babyface,” you tease, making Hueningkai cringe.

“Stop calling me that, I’m 25,” he complains, but he secretly loves it and before you knew it you were joined by Beomgyu and Taehyun.

It wasn’t long before the ceremony would start. Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai stood on Soobin’s side of the altar, and you stood on Mia’s side with Ryujin and some of Mia’s childhood friends and cousins.

As both yourself and Yeonjun were appointed as maid of honor and best man, you stood in the front. Yeonjun stood with his head held high, eyeing you and giving you a mischievous wink as you made eye contact. You winked back with a smile which made him chuckle and look down to control his facial expressions.

When you look out on the crowd you make eye contact with your dad who was shaking his head with amusement at how childish the two of you were being and suddenly embarrassment flushes over you, especially when you saw that Yeonjun’s mother had the exact same expression on her face as she was seated next to your parents. A sight you could never get used to.

The music started to play, all of the guests stood up simultaneously and the large white double doors at the entrance opened to show Mia holding on to her fathers’ arm. People started to cheer including yourself and the boys, and without much time Soobin was already choking up and biting his lip to suppress tears.

Yeonjun looked at Soobin with glistening eyes, patting his shoulder to show comfort as Mia approached.

It was beautiful. All of it. From their vows to their first kiss as husband and wife, it was like a scene out of a movie. The pure happiness you felt for your friends was almost overwhelming and after congratulating the newlywed couple and dinner with soppy speeches by the boys, yourself and their parents it was finally time to party.

You helped Mia change into something more comfortable in her dressing room and sighed as you looked at her. “How does it feel to be married?” you ask with a smirk, which Mia reciprocated. “Not much is different, other than the fact that I can call him my husband.”

“Must be nice, I’m in my late twenties and still call Yeonjun my boyfriend. It’s getting weird. The questions of people around me are even worse.”

“Like what?”

“Why aren’t you married, don’t you wanna settle down? Are the two of you in an open relationship, are you sure he’s not cheating on you? The list goes on.”

Mia’s face contorted from confusion to disgust. “Who the fuck says that.”

“My co-workers.” You huff. “But enough about me, I’m sorry. This is your day.” You try to laugh it off, but Mia is a literal psychologist, so she wouldn’t just let this go.

“Hmm, no. The dance floor can wait,” she says as she sat down on the couch, patting the empty spot beside her to tell you to sit down.

You try to protest but she grabs your wrist and pulls you down with her, making you look her in the eye.

“Have the two of you talked about marriage?”

“Yes and No.”

“Does he know you wanna get married?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, then…why hasn’t he asked.”

“Girl, you tell me.” You sigh. “Do you think he’s having second thoughts? With his brand and the people he’s around, they're a different caliber of gorgeous.”

“Y/n.” Mia scoffs. “Yeonjun would die without you, and you know he isn’t that shallow. He loves you more than anything. He still looks at you the way he looked at you in college. Just talk to him…”

“And say what? Hey dude, why haven’t you proposed to me yet?”

“…yeah.” She shrugged, not getting why you wouldn’t just talk to him about it but you honestly didn’t know how to bring up the conversation. If you both talked about it and he proposed somewhere in the future, it’d mean that he did it because you wanted him to and not because he wanted to.

“I can’t do that; my pride is in the way.” You explain giving her the short answer to your thoughts.

“I can talk to him.”

“No Mia, please. No.”

“Ah, come on. I won’t make it obvious; you know me.”

Mia plopped herself down on the seat next to Yeonjun.

“So, when are you two getting married?” she says without a filter, making you choke on your drink. You had fire spewing from your pupils as you look at her, mouthing a ‘bitch what the fuck’ to her which she just shrugged off, turning her attention to Yeonjun.

“Uhm…” Yeonjun chugged his champagne in one shot and bit the inside of his cheek.

Shit.. he only does that when he’s nervous about something.

“I mean, we haven’t really had the time. Our jobs are too demanding right now.” He explains with a soft smile, hoping that Mia would leave him alone about it, but he knew better.

You awkwardly shift in your seat and wanted to avert the conversation, but the other boys were already busting it down on the dance floor with Soobin, meaning the three of you were alone.

Yeonjun looked at you and noticed that you weren’t looking at him or Mia and sighed.

“I don’t know, the whole concept of marriage is kinda outdated right? I mean no offense of course. You just got married.” He gave Mia one of his hypnotizing smiles but if you heard that right then that was the confirmation you needed. He got up, kissing the top of your head. “You coming to dance with me?” he asked innocently but you just shook your head.

He isn’t planning on proposing to you. Not now, not ever.

“I’m sitting this one out.”

Yeonjun nodded understandably and walked towards his friends, making a dumbfounded Mia look at you with concern.

“….He…thinks it’s lame?” Mia says confused as ever.

“I don’t know Mia, I’ll just let it go for now.”

“No, listen to me y/n. If this is what you want for your future, then you have to let him know. Otherwise, he’ll never get it. You don’t want to have to explain to your kids why daddy never married mommy.”

You sigh loudly, slouching in your seat while rubbing your forehead. “Wait,” Mia says. “He does want to have kids, right?”

“Yes, he does.”

“Ok…at least you have that in common.” She tries to joke to lighten the mood but you glared at her.

“Mia…”

“Ah, I’m sorry. I know it’s not funny.” She shrugged, holding out her hand. “Wanna go dance?”

“No, I’m gonna look for my parents and Yeonjun’s mom.” You say looking around to find them.

Mia pouted at your rejection but she understood that you weren’t in the mood right now. “I expect at least one dance with my best friend, ok?” she pouted at you and you give her a weak-hearted smile.

“Ok, I promise. But later, ok?”

She nods and you both get up as you part ways.

Yeonjun kept an eye on you and frowned when Mia approached without you.

“Where is she going?” he asked as he looked at Mia. “To say hi to her parents and your mom.”

Soobin wrapped an arm around Mia’s waist and pulled her into him with a twirl. “There’s my lovely wife,” he says as he pecks her lips.

“Oh, Jesus.” Taehyun says shaking his head. “We’ve entered a new era.”

“Let them be, they just got married.” Beomgyu chuckled as he swayed to the beat with Ryujin’s arms wrapped around his neck.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of calling you, my husband.” Mia says with a laugh as she threw her head back in laughter as Soobin attacked her with kisses, and suddenly the puzzle pieces fell into place for Yeonjun at the sight.

The realization took over his features and he was immediately alarmed.

“I’m gonna go find y/n.” he says without looking back at his friends before he storms off to find you.

“What do we do now?” Hueningkai asks in confusion.

“What was planned,” Mia says shrugging her shoulders.

Yeonjun arrived at the table both of your parents were seated at, but you were nowhere to be found.

“Hey dad, have you seen y/n?” Yeonjun asks putting a hand on your father’s shoulder.

Your dad looked up at him with a smile and shrugged. “Haven’t seen her kid.”

“She went that way.” Yeonjun’s mother says pointing to the main entrance.

Yeonjun nodded and wanted to bolt off into your direction but your mother stopped him. “Everything ok?”

“Y-yeah, I just need to tell her something,” he says as he rushed off.

The three of them follow Yeonjun with their eyes in confusion while his mother lets out an exasperated sigh.

“I hope it’s not serious.” Your dad says raising an eyebrow.

“Knowing my son, it’s serious.” She states as she downs her champagne, grabbing another one of the waiters’ tray swiftly as they passed by.

Yeonjun made his way outside of the venue. The sun had set and it was chilly out; making him worry even more because if you were out here, you’d probably be freezing.

He walked around the perimeter of the venue and stopped in his tracks when he saw you sitting alone on the steps, looking out on the lake with a wine glass in your hand.

He sighed as he watched you take a sip while you were lost in deep thought and took off the blazer to his suit as he approached you.

He draped it over your shoulders, startling you in the process but when you look up at him you instantly relax.

He sat down next to you with a low groan, taking the wine glass from your hold while taking a sip.

“That’s mine.” You try to sound playful but your tone of voice sounded rather sad, making him sigh while putting the wine glass down next to him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you want to get married?” He asks as he stares into what seems like your soul. It made you feel incredibly vulnerable and small.

“What did Mia say to you?”

“Nothing. It clicked to me when you walked off and then she called Soobin her husband and it just…”

He cut himself off as you avoided eye contact and closed his mouth with a slight pout.

“Baby…tell me.”

“Nothing I say will make sense to you,” you say with a bitter smile as you stare at the fountain in the middle of the lake. Your eyes fixated on the lights that changed color and your vision got blurry.

“Try me.” He says as he put his hand on your thigh but you stiffened at his touch, which made him frown. Having had enough of your vagueness he laced his fingers through your hair and made you look at him.

His sweet demeanor had shifted to a sterner one. He wanted answers, even if you thought they wouldn’t make sense.

He cocked his eyebrow and licked his lips, waiting for you to speak.

“Yes, I do, but I…” you take a deep breath to collect your thoughts and start rambling.

“Of course I want to get married to you Yeonjun. It’s been five years. Incredible years at that, but as time passes, I want to be able to call you my husband. I’ll be 80 years old with grandchildren and a boyfriend, and call me old-fashioned but that’s not exactly how I pictured my life to be.”

He pursed his lips together as he listened to you attentively, furrowing his eyebrows a little to understand.

“Yeonjun. If I have to tell you that I want to get married, then you’d only propose to me because I basically told you to do so and I don’t want that. I don’t want you to do something because you feel like you have to. If the thought never crossed your mind, then…that says enough”

“Y/n…I’m sorry. I just never thought that-”

“It’s ok. I’ll get over it.” You say interrupting him.

“No. Baby, hear me out.” He made you look at him again. “You have to realize that the only example of a marriage I ever had was the one my parents were in. They hated each other. Married out of a business agreement and stayed together because a piece of paper tied them together. I don’t want that for us.”

“Yeonjun, we’re nothing like your parents ever were.”

He wasn’t helping his case with that comment. You took his hand off of your cheek and reached over for your wine glass, taking a sip once you retrieved it.

Yeonjun’s eyes were darting back and forth, trying to find the right thing to say but he knew that nothing he’d say right now would make a difference.

“I’m sorry…” Yeonjun says with sadness. He looked like a lost puppy. Truly unable to grasp why you were so upset about this, and honestly you had enough of trying to explain to him why marriage was so important to you.

Your parents were the perfect example of a successful marriage, and all you wanted was something as genuine as their love.

“Can we just talk at home? I don’t want to spoil the mood for our friends. They must be wondering where we are.”

He sighed, rubbing his forehead in agony. He watched you get up and jolted upwards in lightning speed to match your tempo.

“I don’t want to go back in there like this, we need to talk about this somehow.”

“We just did Yeonjun. I want to get married, you don’t, and last time I checked I can’t marry myself so I’m just gonna have to deal with it.”

“Y/n..”

By now you had arrived at the entrance. You downed your drink and set the empty glass down on a random tray and waltzed inside of the ballroom with big strides.

“Hey bitch, catch!” Mia yells as she throws you her bouquet.

You hadn’t even noticed how the music stopped and look at her wide-eyed. What the hell was she thinking? Wasn’t the look of thunder on your face enough of a hint that you weren’t in for her jokes right now.

You look back and Yeonjun somehow disappeared from your line of sight, making you even more confused and annoyed than you already were.

“Mia, what the hell.” You furrow your eyebrows at her and notice how suddenly all eyes were on you.

People were standing in a circle and most of the tables were set aside to create the space that you were now standing in the middle of right now.

Soobin smiled at you, he wrapped his arm around Mia’s shoulder, pulling her into him as his eyes disappeared into crescent moons. He watched your eyes widen as Tae, Gyu and Kai approached you. Tae covered your eyes as Beomgyu and Hueningkai sat you down on a random chair they brought with them.

What the fuck was going on?

- Before the wedding -

“I can’t believe they’re getting married,” he mumbles as he stares into distance.

“That’s usually what happens when you get engaged, babe.”

Yeonjun looked up at you in surprise as you were looking at him through the mirror while putting on your earrings.

Are you on to him? He dumbfoundedly stared back at you, trying to find the right words to avert your attention to a different topic but then his phone started to ring.

It was Soobin.

His eyes widened. Lying wasn’t something he was good at, but he didn’t want you to catch on.

He picked up with a sigh. “I thought I told you not to call me today unless it was an emergency, so this better be good.”

He looked at you, mouthing to you that it was a work thing as he disappeared from your shared bedroom and into his home office.

He closed the door behind him, pacing back and forth.

“Sorry, y/n was in the room,” Yeonjun says with a relieved sigh.

“Is she suspecting anything?” Soobin asks a little worried.

“No, at least I don’t think so.”

“Good. We planned this for way too long for it to be ruined. Everything is set up. She won’t know what’s coming for her.”

Yeonjun smiled, retrieving the square box from his back pocket as he opened it, staring at the 12-carat diamond ring in its case.

“I hope so.”

As Taehyun removed his hands from your line of sight a still image was projected on the wall in front of you.

You blink a couple of times to look around and see how Mia and Soobin were giddily smiling at you. You give the boys a look but they just laughed it off, motioning you to look at the monitor, and that’s when the video started playing.

It was a full timeline of your relationship with Yeonjun, videos and pictures of your college days, videos of yourself and Yeonjun decorating the house for Christmas, family dinners, important milestones; he documented all of it.

Deep down inside you knew what was about to happen but after everything that just went down, it was incredibly hard to believe.

You're entranced by what you were seeing, completely frozen and in shock to even move until the video cut to a clip of Soobin and yourself as kids, you guessed you were about 5 years old at the time.

Little Soobin and yourself were having a pretend wedding ceremony, making everyone in the room swoon and chuckle.

You still remembered this day clearly. You made Soobin dress up with you and play house but 5-year-old you came to the genius realization that in order to play house, you’d have to get married first.

Your eyes started to water at the sight, and then your dad who was behind the camera cleared his throat in the video.

“Soobin, are you going to marry y/n when you’re older?” he asks panning the camcorder around to show that both of your moms were present too.

“Ew dad, no.” you crossed your tiny arms over each other and gave Soobin a grossed out glare.

“No, probably not.” Soobin agreed too as he shrugged his shoulders.

“But when I do get married, I’ll make sure y/n gets married too.” He says with a small lisp, determination evident on his features as he pursed his lips together to show off his dimples.

Your parents started to laugh in the clip. “That’s not how it works Soobin.”

“Yes it is!” little you agreed with Soobin, linking arms with him as you stared straight into the camera.

“Let’s pinky promise.” You grinned at him, linking your tiny pinky with his. “Promise!”

The video stopped and you wiped a tear from your face as you give both Mia and Soobin a sentimental smile. Beomgyu helped you stand up and ran off to stand next to the others, who were by now joined by your parents and Yeonjun’s mother.

Both yours and Yeonjun’s favorite song started to play softly, and you turn around to see where it was coming from as Daniel Caesars' voice rang through the speakers.

‘Through drought and famine’

‘Natural disasters’

‘My baby has been around, for me.’

You were met with Yeonjun’s charming smile as he walked closer to you, taking your hands to lace his fingers with yours.

“What is all this…” you look at him with watery eyes,

“Aren’t you going to keep the promise you made to Soobin?”

He smiled at you as he let go of one hand, taking a tiny black velvet box of out his pocket as he got down on one knee.

You cover your mouth out of shock, tears welling up in your eyes once more as you give him a small nudge.

“You asshole.” You huff in tears, making everyone in the room laugh including Yeonjun. "And all of you were in on it?" you ask looking back at your friends who were nodding their heads in unison.

You chuckled through your tears, averting your attention back to Yeonjun who was still knelt down before you.

“You’re my home y/n.” he says with watery eyes. “Throughout everything, you are the one thing in my life that is unchanged. I know it was far from easy to love me for the past 5 years, but with all the craziness you have stood by me. With this ring, I want to show you that I’ll stand by you too…until death do us part” he states with a soft smile, and by now your mother has started to cry, including Yeonjun’s mother; the ice queen herself.

“Y/n.” he says taking a deep breathe. “Will you marry me?”

You sniff your tears away, scrunching your nose as you start to nod furiously.

“Yes.”

Yeonjun smiled up at you, quickly putting the ring on your finger before he got up and spun you around in his arms as people started to cheer, even Minjae was bitterly clapping his hands to congratulate you.

Yeonjun hugged you tightly as you buried your face in his chest, crying at the surreal and perfect moment. He giggled as a tear ran down his face too. Burying his nose in your hair as he held you as close as possible.

“I love you,” you manage to get out before you lean in to kiss him.

“I love you too.”

- 1 year later -

“Oooh my god Mia, you’re about to pop.” Yeonjun says with big eyes as he opens the door for Mia and Soobin to enter your home.

Yeonjun and yourself had gotten back from your month-long honeymoon a few days back and you invited everyone over for a Sunday dinner.

“Gee thanks. It’s not like I’m 8 months pregnant or anything.” She huffs as she waddles to the living room to sit down next to Taehyun and his boyfriend of two years, who had already arrived prior to them.

Yeonjun chuckled, throwing an arm around Soobin.

“How are you holding up, father to be?” he asks as he squeezed Soobin’s shoulder

“I can’t wait till the baby comes. Her hormones have been crazy lately, she made me get cheese nuggets last night at 2 am.” Soobin says as he rubs his eyes.

“Oh, y/n makes me do that without the pregnant part.”

You emerge from your kitchen at the sound of your name. “You talkin shit Choi?”

“No, I just told Soobin how much I loved you.” Yeonjun says through his teeth with a smile and all Soobin could do was laugh at the interaction.

You roll your eyes, wiping your hands on your apron as you take it off.

“Dinner will be ready in like half an hour.” You announce as you walk into the living room.

When you lay eyes on Mia you immediately run over to her, squeezing her as you rubbed her belly. “She’s gonna be the cutest baby ever.” you pout.

“Have you thought of a name yet?” Taehyun asks as he reached over to touch Mia’s baby bump as well.

“We’re still deciding,” Mia says with a smile, and at that the doorbell rang once again.

You got up to open the door and were greeted with the smiles of a by now engaged Beomgyu and Ryujin, followed by Hueningkai and his girlfriend Won-young

The night was spent enjoying the food you made, you reminisced about your college days and talked about everything from your honeymoon to brainstorming baby names for Mia and Soobin.

Time flew by when you were all together.

The group was enjoying a drink at the bar area of your kitchen and you were pouring yourself a virgin martini in full concentration mode.

Yeonjun snakes his arms around your waist from behind and kissed your temple sweetly as he came to check on you. You leaned into his touch, the both of you stared at the group of people that you call your family, smiling contently as you look up at Yeonjun to peck his lips.

“When do we tell them?” he asks as he rubbed your tummy.

You turn around to face him, giving him a nervous smile. ‘I’m worried that Mia might give birth on the spot when she hears the news.”

Yeonjun snorted at your comment, touching your stomach once again as he stared down in wonder. “I still can’t believe it,” he comments as he's lost in thought to a month ago when you told him about it.

Yeonjun was quick to serve everyone a brownie for dessert, carefully instructing them to wait before they took a bite.

You got up to stand next to him at the edge of your dinner table and had the giddiest smile on your face.

“…Brownies?” Beomgyu asks wide-eyed.

“The last time you made these I developed PTSD.” Soobin says, reminiscing back to the night where you told everyone you had bagged an exchange to Brown University.

“So, you have news again?” Taehyun asks carefully and Yeonjun just nodded with a smile, pulling out his phone to record their reactions once they broke off a piece.

“You’re not immigrating to another country or anything this time, right?” Mia asked, making you and Yeonjun chuckle at the absurd guess.

“Come on guys, open it up.” You clapped your hands excitedly and waited for them to break off a piece with their forks.

Ryujin was the first one to catch on as she discovered the blue and pink cream filling, followed by loud gasps and screams from everyone.

‘WE’RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY IN THE FAMILY!?” Hueningkai yells with big eyes, asking for confirmation as everyone looked at the two of you with anticipation.

All you could do was smile and nod and suddenly you were bombarded with hugs, kisses, and even tears from an overwhelmed Mia.

“I-I’m s-so h-happy for you!” she sniffed through her tears as she hugged both you and Yeonjun clumsily yet tightly.

Soobin approached you next with a huge grin on his face. “Our kids are going to be just like us, like all of us” He said with watery eyes, looking at Yeonjun and the rest of the boys with proudness and love emitting from his pupils.

“Together forever.”

A/N: Thank you so much for the overwhelming love and support all of you have given me throughout the series. Till the End of Summer has officially ended.

I hope you enjoyed the journey as much as I did.

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puppy-phum · 3 years

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get to know me

am going to mix these two different tag games into one post so thank you a lot for tagging me @jazthespazz and @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥

it’s somehow funny to do these same games again after a while so let’s see what I come up with:

Part I

name: real name petra but i prefer vish/vishie over here ^^

pronouns: she/her

star sign: aries ♈

height: 178cm (which am coming more and more proud of while i realize how damn tall every cdrama actor is lol)

time: 10:37pm as am answering this one

birthday: 10th april!

nationality: finnish

fave bands/groups: ah well this is always a hard question but let’s go with these: BTS, DAY6, OneRepublic, Hurts, Oneus, Hoppipolla, TXT, Red, Mamamoo

fave solo artists: (forgive me if i’ve assumed any of these wrong) Novo Amor, Talos, Crywolf, Liu Yuning, SYML, EDEN, PVRIS, Joker Xue, NF, Halsey, Sleeping At Last, Nuz, HyunA, Sam Smith, Taemin

song stuck in your head: it’s OneRepublic’s Rescue Me bc of the song tag game i did earlier today :’D that one always gets stuck in my head whenever i as much as see the title lol

last movie you watched: i think it’s The Yin-Yang Master (2021)? I haven’t watched any movies after that bc am so busy with all of my dramas haha

last show you binged: i think binged would be The Journey Across the Night! I watched that as a whole in 4 days

when you created your blog: in 2013

the last thing you googled: ummm i think it was “what is a ball of wool called” bc of fic purposes haha as a non native speaker i always get a bit lost with words like this

other blogs: none, i just dump everything here like the idiot i am

why i chose my url: dates back to my intense summer of binge reading J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Vishous was my favorite of the brothers haha. i first used this username in some random game on my nintendo ds lol

how many people are you following: 358 which somehow feels like a lot but also like way too few?? i should probably search for some new blogs with other topics than cql, bts and/or dmbj bc i do love a lot of things at once

how many followers do you have: over 800

average hours of sleep: i’d say around 7h

lucky numbers: i remember answering 5 previously? i don’t really have a lucky number but 5 pops into my head

instruments: nope, no. not touching those tyvm. i admire everyone who can play any instrument tho

what i’m currently wearing: black jeans, socks with foxes on them (plus my woolly socks), a gray cardigan (my fave thing ever!) and an orange/brown top

dream job: writer would be ideal but that is very faaaaar into the dream zone

dream trip: around different parts of asia to taste all the amazing food ;; maybe a road trip of sorts through europe? or inter railing? another trip to london bc i miss that ;; a trip to the very northern part of lapland to see all the auroras etc! i’ve never been that far north :’D

fave food: if i need to quickly name something then sushi. otherwise am pretty fine with anything spicy

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: i remember thinking about this a lot the last time i answered this but hmm. currently i’d say dmbj still bc that world is fascinating AND i would love to talk to the characters. mass effect would be the second one currently bc i miss those games and the space stuff is super cool! and the third one would be assassin’s creed rogue bc that is my fave ac game and i like the northern sea and the places in it AND i could probably be one of abstergo’s employees instead and just test/play those simulation games haha

Part II

Last Song: am currently listening to my playlist with just everything so i have Andrew Belle’s The Enemy playing right now (also I only just now realized that Andrew Belle also sings Pieces which is one of my fave songs? my bff linked that to me after it played in some tv series she was watching)

Last Movie Last Stream: i didn’t want to mention the same movie again or skip this question and i’ve wanted to talk about this anyway so! i watched Liu Chang’s bday live last night :’D it was so much fun even if i couldn’t understand anything. it was just nice to watch him being himself and have fun and chill with his fans. also the songs were amazing ;; i cried with Liu Sang’s character song as well as the ending. and all the while i couldn’t turn my gaze away from his eyes! he has such pretty eyes and they were absolutely Sparkling throughout the whole stream, it was so nice :’)

Currently Reading: Devotions by Mary Oliver (i adore her poems! they’re a very nice change after Siken haha) and then some uni stuff for a course about culture and mental health plus my thesis

Currently Watching: Douluo Continent, Word of Honor, The Long Ballad

all of these are amazing and make me feel different things! i started Douluo Continent just a while ago and am now on ep 16 i think? it’s been very pretty and very chill and i watch it during the weekend while i wait for new episodes to the other two :’D it’s nice to see Xiao Zhan again and i’ve enjoyed the rpg game type of feeling in it? the group of seven is doing amazing and it’s interesting to watch them craft their team work! Word of Honor again has reached the ending and i just hold my breath with it. am not too far gone with it so i am not getting as heavy feelings about it as i probably could but i enjoy it alot still and i do cry at times ^^ and then The Long Ballad has just blown me away! i didn’t expect to love it this much and be this invested in it but everything about it has been such a positive surprise and it keeps making me super emotional! i love the characters and the story and the romances even! it’s a great accomplishment for me. also yes i cry on the daily bc of hao du and bc of ashile sun’s hair haha

(i am also rewatching Ultimate Note kind of and been thinking about getting into rewatching Reboot bc it has been on my list ever since i finished it)

What is antipoetry to you: okay hmm i had to google this too and have to agree with Kiddo here. i don’t have strong feelings about poetry tbh, i wasn’t into poetry that much before maybe a bit over year ago? Siken has really blown me away haha. but i have always loved song lyrics which i never thought as poetry but then Kiddo said to me that they consider them poetry and yeah ok. i agree? so idk poetry can be whatever i suppose. i’ve never seen any rules in it anyway. i know there are many rules for different types of poetry but then again. i feel like poetry has always been just words put together to feel things and i guess that is the core purpose of every written type of art in the end right?

Currently craving: a drama as good and as personal as The Journey Across the Night. that show really just stole my heart and i want that feeling back. i think about that show every day. i miss Li Jia and his two partners. i miss the vibes. i miss sitting on my floor watching it and just sobbing my heart out haha. also! craving a properly subbed, whole version of Anti-Fraud League. only the first 12 eps are badly subbed out there. wetv has... blocked? deleted? the whole show??? i need it to my life, i wanna see Xiao Yuliang being cute as Mi Ruo and i wanna know where the story goes smh

thank you so much for these both! i had fun ^^ also am sorry this is so long but haha if you’re asking me to talk about myself and my interests then this is what you get :)

tagging (to do which ever part you want or both!): @cross-d-a @jockvillagersonly @humanlighthouse @kholran @xcziel @minmoyu and @leonzhng ♥

#tag game #this was so much fun ok #also yes am an emotional mess #especially when it comes to liu chang/liu sang #and if anyone has any knowledge #about anti-fraud league #then am all ears???#thank you for tagging me!!

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muwur · 4 years

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haikyuu x otome: masterlist | rules

prologue

» synopsis: a haikyuu x reader au where you, the player, are bound for university in a metropolis several hours away from home. hope and excitement are replaced with dread as you come to realize that juggling life as a student and a part-time employee takes a toll. from demanding classes to a ruthless manager, life just can’t seem to give you a break. that is, until you meet a certain someone who reminds you how to live and follow your dreams. somehow, when you’re with them, time stands still. maybe things are finally starting to look up. if only you could stay in those moments for just a little longer.

» gn reader

» ngl came out longer than i expected but thats ok LMAO,, them otome intros be unnecessarily long too mb; 3.1k words

» note: if u rllyy want u can kinda skip or just skim this, the gist is that you move in n meet like 3 ppl LOL

The train hummed as it zoomed through the landscape, leaving behind the familiar people, sights, sounds, and smells. Yawning, you rubbed your nap away from weary eyes and peered out the window. Just hours ago you had waved a bittersweet farewell to your town, friends, and family, who woke at the crack of dawn to send you off with tight hugs and teary-eyed wishes of good luck.

Your heart lurched at the memory. You’d miss them. In an effort to part happily, you promised to come back for the holidays, call often, and hook your friends up with any cute people you just knew would match them. Glancing down at your phone, you smiled at the excited text messages from your friends. Your fingers tapped away at the keyboard in response.

‘Just woke up from my nap. I think I’m here!’

Outside, buildings scraped the clouds and their windows shined in the light of the afternoon sun. Cars honked, bikes swerved, crowds bustled. On one end of the block, a man on a ladder was painting a sign for his store, while on the other end , a street performer danced energetically in her black shoes. Smoke emitted from a food vendor’s stand, where a man skillfully flipped some meat and vegetables on a stove, even throwing his spatula into the air to entertain his customers. The city was alive.

Stepping off the train, you clutched your belongings and felt a sudden rush of exhilaration. You were finally here. You intended to take a deep breath, in order to take in your first taste of this city’s air, only to stop halfway in a short hacking fit to expel train exhaust from your lungs.

‘That was pleasant,’ you grumbled to yourself, still coughing as you made your way off the platform towards the street. Luckily, Lyft existed. And it was cheaper here! Within minutes of your order, a black Toyota pulled up in front of you. The driver smiled and stepped out of the car, their wavy brown hair bouncing against their shoulders. “Let me help you with those,” they smiled as they offered to take your bags and put them in the trunk.

“Oh, thank you so much!” What a kind person, you thought as you opened the backseat of the car. Ooh.

On second thought, maybe you were too optimistic. Who knew a 10 minute ride could feel so long? It seemed at least twice that much when you were squished in the backseat with some handsy couple. Just your luck, someone was already occupying the passenger seat. Oh well, a minor inconvenience in the name of saving money. All you could do was shift closer to the door, fix your gaze outside the window, and try to ignore the strange purrs coming from your seatmates. A familiar building caught your eye and you let out a sigh of relief when the car came to a stop. You thanked your driver as you stepped out and pulled your bags out of the trunk. Looking back and forth from your phone to the townhouse before you, you had to admit the real thing looked a little more worn down than how it was advertised, but you couldn’t blame them. I mean, your pictures on instagram aren’t exactly the everyday representation of yourself, either.

Aged wood creaked as you hoisted your bags up the front steps. You tapped your knuckles three times against the brown door and rang the buzzer to the landlord’s office.

“Hello? Miss Q?” you asked, hoping the landlord you’ve been contacting for the last two months would answer. “It’s me, y/n, I let you know I’d be coming in today.”

No answer. 15 minutes, a few text messages, and a phone call later, still no response. You groaned. Were you at the right place? Looking back at the address of the building and your location, you were sure this was it. Did Miss Q happen to be out? Or was she napping and just happened to be a heavy sleeper? Maybe her phone died. Whatever the reason, you were stuck out here for the meantime. Shrugging it off, you took a seat on a dusty patio chair and started to scroll mindlessly through your phone to pass the time. Hopefully she’d reply soon.

The screech of a vehicle coming to a stop caught your ear. You looked up to see that the mover’s van you ordered pulled up across the street. Well, at least your things arrived. You stood up and waved to the man driving the vehicle. Making your way to greet and thank him, you helped him unload your things and set them down on the free space in front of the complex, making sure to keep the pathways clear. Placing down the last of the things onto the ground, you wiped the sweat off your brow, tipped the man, and watched him leave.

20 minutes of that and still you remained stuck outside. The late summer sun was beginning to get unbearably warm. Sitting amongst your pile of things, you couldn’t help but groan inwardly at the thought of all the unpacking you had to do. On top of that, classes begin in a week, and you needed to search for a job as soon as possible to help pay the bills.

“Erm, hello? Are you y/n l/n, by any chance?” a gentle voice asked.

Lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice anyone had approached you. He was a fairly tall boy with dark hair half pulled back into a messy bun. Freckles adorned his face, complemented by his soft brown eyes and warm smile. He wore a pair of white shoes, slightly distressed lightwash jeans that were rolled up at the bottom, and a loose fitting, olive button up half tucked into his jeans. In his arms was a brown paper bag with a loaf of bread peeking out.

(I STAN LONG HAIRED/HAIRBUN YAMS SO HARD SO HE’S GONNA HAVE IT OK)

“Yeah, I am! Do you live here?” you responded eagerly, getting up to your feet.

He nodded with a smile. “I do! Apparently Miss Q’s sick and staying at her daughter’s place for now, so her daughter messaged me to help you get settled in. Let me put these groceries away and get your key.”

He disappeared into the townhouse, then returned a few moments later with a key dangling between his fingers. “Miss Q needs a better hiding spot for her spare office key. The plant pot is way too obvious. Anyways, I can show you to your room, now. I’ll help you carry your things up,” he offered.

“That would be great! Thanks again for all your help, otherwise I’d probably have been stuck out here all night,” you said, gently handing him a box to carry.

“Y-Yeah, no problem! Though, Tsukki might’ve let you in if he saw you out here, too. Oh, and my name’s Tadashi Yamaguchi, by the way. Some people call me Yams. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Yams,” you huffed in amusement at his cute nickname. “Call me y/n.” Carrying some boxes, you followed Yamaguchi into the building. Luckily you were on the first floor, second door on the lefthand side. He fumbled with the key, searching for the keyhole before turning the unlocked knob and opening the door.

Much like the outside, the interior of the place was also outdated. You both stood in front of the quaint living area connected to the kitchen. In the back, you could see the hallway leading to the bathroom and your single bedroom. The plain, white walls of the room were illuminated by daylight coming in from the windows on the rightmost wall. You could overlook the worn couch and scuffed dining table, though, considering the place was fully furnished and leased at a great price. Miss Q had even told you both the kitchen and bathroom had actually been remodeled recently.

Going back and forth to take your belongings inside, you thought to get to know your new neighbor. “So, how long have you lived here?”

He pursed his lips in thought and stacked the box he was carrying on top of another one. “Mm, only since the start of summer, actually. My friend and I came here to start university, and one of his favorite museums also happens to be in this city. We come from about 2 hours north of here, though. What about you?”

You set down a particularly heavy bag onto the floor with a grunt. “I’m from a place several hours west of here. I came here for school, too! Are you going to Central University, by any chance?”

“Yeah, I am!” he responded with pleasant surprise and wide eyes. “I guess we’ll be seeing each other on campus, too. Remind me to show you the closest bus stop you can take to get there.” A soft smile formed on his lips.

After finally taking in all your belongings, you collapsed onto the couch in exhaustion. Your eyes flickered over to the brunette, whose chuckle you could hear from across the room. “Long day?” he asked, settling into a spot next to you.

Groaning, you replied, “I’ve been up since 5 am to do some last minute packing and catch my train.”

“Yikes. Sounds early.”

“Tell me about it.”

A comfortable silence hung in the air for a few seconds. Curious, he piped up with another question. “So, what made you decide to move all the way out here?”

“Hmm,” you began. “Well, I wanted to settle into a new, unknown place, y’know? Explore the world a little more and see what it’s like out here. Be on my own for the first time.”

Yamaguchi nodded thoughtfully in understanding. “I get you. My best friend and I kinda came here for the same reasons. We wanted to expand our worlds a bit. I’ve only been here a few months, and already so much has happened. You’ll definitely get to explore and experience a lot in this city. Things are always busy around here...” he trailed off, checking a notification on his phone that just dinged with a new message. His brown gaze flickered back to you. “Ooh, would you like to have a drink with my friend and I at my place? I live in the room right across from here. You seem like you need a break.”

You could feel your lips curve upwards. “I’d really enjoy that, actually.”

Thus you found yourself in your new friend’s apartment, sinking comfortably into his black beanbag chair, a bottle of cold lemonade in your hand. Taking another refreshing swig, your eyes traveled over to the blonde seated next to Yams on their tan sofa. You could hardly feel welcome when the first words that came out of his mouth after seeing you was a disgruntled “you brought someone here?”, which made Yamaguchi smack the back of his friend’s head.

“They’re our new neighbor, Tsukki! Be more welcoming,” he chided with a roll of his eyes. “Y/n, this is Kei Tsukishima. Tsukki, this is y/n.”

He rubbed the back of his head and glared at Yamaguchi. The blonde sighed, extending a hand out towards you. “Tsukishima. Nice to meet you, I guess.”

“Erm,” you tried to smile, “nice to meet you, too, Tsukishima. Just call me y/n.”

‘How is someone as sweet as Yams best friends with this dude?’

He couldn’t be all bad, you reasoned. Maybe he was just having a bad day,,, or always having a bad day. Regardless, even if your first impression was kinda substandard and underwhelming, you hoped you’d get along. He seemed like the type to need to get to know someone before warming up to them.

You set the empty bottle atop their maple coffee table. Two hours had creeped by, consisting mostly of lighthearted exchanges between you and Yamaguchi, with a brief, occasional response from Tsukishima. He spent most of the time flipping through the pages of a novel and lightly tapping its hardcover to the beat of whatever he was listening to on his headphones. Yamaguchi suggested getting delivery from a Thai place he liked a few blocks away, and even insisted on covering the cost for you.

“No, you really don’t have to..! I appreciate the offer, though,” you pleaded.

He shook his head, smiling as he tapped away at postmates on his phone. “Don’t worry about it.” He logged in both your orders and nudged Tsukishima with his elbow. “What do you want?”

Pushing up his glasses, Tsukishima leaned over to look at his friend’s phone screen. A few moments passed before he pulled away and said, “Pad Kee Mao sounds good.”

30 minutes later and there was a ring at the front door. A voice on the buzzer sounded. “I have a delivery for, uh.. Tadashi!”

“Looks like they’re here,” Yamaguchi said as he stood up. You followed him out to the main entrance. Behind the door was a boy with tousled orange hair and bright brown eyes, carrying a plastic bag filled with takeout boxes. “Here you go!” he exclaimed as he handed you the order. He peered at the brunette beside you, his face scrunching in thought before lightening up with clarity. “Hey, you were with the guy I crashed into the other day! I-Is he okay by the way? Sorry, I was in a really big rush...!”

Eyebrows shooting up in surprise and eyes widening with familiarity, Yamaguchi nodded, “Oh yeah, I remember that! Don’t worry, he’s alright, just bitter and annoyed. I’m glad you seem to be okay, as well.”

The redhead scratched the back of his neck sheepishly and looked down at his scuffed shoes. “Ah, thanks! Um, is he around? I’d like to apologize for yesterday...”

Yamaguchi smiled. “I’ll go grab him,” he said briefly before heading back to his apartment.

The delivery boy sighed with relief. “Man, I felt really bad about that yesterday...” he muttered. He looked back up, his eyes brightening when they met yours. “My name’s Shoyo Hinata! People usually call me Hinata.”

“I’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you,” you smiled, offering your hand. He shook hands with you a bit too vigorously, and you nearly dropped the food held in your other arm. “Are you new around here?” he asked.

“Hah, is it that obvious?” you joked.

“Nahh, just a wild guess. You’re just really refreshing, is all! Most of the people I meet seem burnt out, but I don’t blame them. We’ve all got busy lives. Talking to you is nice, though! I haven’t learned any customer’s names, well, since I started working! Then again, it’s only been two months... Anyways, where you from? I was born and raised here.”

If anything, you thought Hinata was the refreshing one. A tad talkative, but refreshing nonetheless. He effused a radiance that matched his vivid hair. “I’m from *insert place here*, a few hours west of here. I just arrived today!”

Before he could give you a response, however, you both heard footsteps approaching. You could recognize Tsukishima’s voice muttering a low “let’s get this over with” from behind you. Now standing at the doorframe, the blonde towered over Hinata. His countenance displayed obvious annoyance. However, he maintained his composure, pressed his finger against the bridge of his nose, and sighed out, “What do you want?”

Hinata bowed. “I’m sorry I crashed into you with my bike the other day! I was rushing to volleyball practice and I wasn’t looking. It was my fault.”

Eyes narrowing, Tsukishima allowed several moments of silence to achingly pass before letting out a small huff. “Fine. Apology accepted.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, he turned around to return to his room. “Watch where you’re going next time, idiot. You’d better hope you don’t run into me again.” A door shut.

‘That was quick.’

Hinata looked up to watch him leave and straightened his form again. Lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed, he crossed his arms across his chest. “Geez, what’s his deal?” Yamaguchi cast him an apologetic look. “Ah, he’s just like that. He appreciates the gesture, though.”

A high-pitched ding caught your attention. “Ah, I gotta go make another delivery! It was nice to meet you all!”

Quickly grabbing a bill out of your pocket, you stopped Hinata mid-step. “Wait! Here, please take this. Thanks for the food!”

He accepted the tip from your hands, looking back and forth between you and the money. “Wow, thank you so much! I really hope to see you around. Have a great night!” With a final smile and wave, he bounded off the porch steps towards his bike, hopped on, then disappeared down the street.

After having dinner and exchanging contact information with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, you thanked them for having you over and retired back to your room. Drained, you only had enough energy to make up your bed and unpack your bathroom essentials. You trudged into the bathroom. Looking into the mirror, weariness was evident in your dull gaze. ‘Ugh, I can’t wait to sleep,’ you thought as you turned the sink on. The cool water felt refreshing against your skin and livened your senses. You brushed your teeth before retreating to your bedroom and changing into a comfier pair of clothes.

You checked the time on your phone. How was it only 11 PM? The darkness, coupled with your exhaustion, made it seem at least three hours ahead. You plugged the phone in to charge and set it down on the bedside table. ‘No need to set an alarm,’ you thought, ‘I just wanna sleep.’

You took a few minutes to stare at the dark ceiling overhead, thinking about all the new changes coming your way. New faces, cool food, and exciting places. Hopefully you had some time these first few weeks to explore and familiarize yourself with the city. Excitement mixed with a prick of anxiety as you thought about how you could manage on your own. However, you had faith in your independence. You would be okay. Besides, there were friendly people out here like Yamaguchi, Hinata, and maybe Tsukishima who you could trust if you ever needed help.

It didn’t take long for you to drift off into a deep slumber. You lazily woke up the following morning, yawning with outstretched arms. ‘That was the best sleep I’ve had in ages,’ you thought as you sat up. It was half an hour before noon. The sun shone brightly through your windows, whose curtains were left undrawn. ‘Surprised that the light didn’t wake me up sooner.’ A loud honk made you jump in your seat. ‘Or the noise.’

You drew your legs over the side of the bed and took in the state of your room. Surrounded by stacked boxes and luggage, you were reminded what you came here for. Anticipation collected in your chest. This was the start of the life you’ve been waiting for the past few years.

‘We’re gonna make the best of this, y/n.’

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krinsbez · 3 years

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Work Stories

So, I’ve theoretically accumulated quite a few stories in the past month, what with the two weeks of working extra hours and having no days off owing to one co-worker having surgery and others leaving or turning into flakes because most of the Counter Crew are high school students and it’s summer, while also being HELLA busy. While I have a cold. As a result, I’m not sure I could recite them, as the last month has kinda turned into a bit of a blur, honestly.

(Wish I’d had the energy to share ‘em while they were still fresh in m’mind, but oh well. No use crying over spilt milk)

I can, however, share some stories from yesterday morning.

-Well, actually, it starts the day before yesterday, when someone calls asking to place a catering delivery for about 20 people about an hour after the kitchen opens the next day (that is to say yesterday). I spend twenty minutes helping him decide what he wants, going over basically every 9x13 tray we offer multiple times. At one point I have to hand the phone over to my boss to explain somethings because the dude keeps insisting that he wants the food in a form we don’t do. Ultimately, he settles on six 9x13s of stuff that’s relatively easy to do (and yes, I ask multiple times if he’s sure that enough, noting that a 9x13 constitutes roughly four servings). The guy gives a crappy delivery tip, but whatevs, it’s small order, I’m not gonna fight with him over it, especially as it was late and I was working a double-shift, and I’ve already spent 20 minutes on this.

-The next morning, I walk in (note: I come in about an hour and a half before the store opens, which is fifteen minutes before the kitchen opens). It seems two online orders have been placed for the moment we open (our systems are...not the best, to say the least). This is, of course, impossible to accommodate, so I call both customers and explain that it’ll have to be 30 to 45 minutes later. One explains that they placed the order because the moment we open is the latest time they can pick-up their food before they have to be at work. I offer to refund her, she asks if she can instead have the time changed to when she finishes work. I say it can, but there’s a high chance it’ll come out early and be cold by the time she picks it up, she says that’s fine.

-The next person tries to argue with me, stating that that’s too late, they have to be back at work half an hour after the latest time I stated, I say we’ll do our best to have it ready by the earlier time, they say fine.

-Note that we also have a trainee in, who I’m supervising (side note: the current crop of new hires KICK. ASS. We now have employees who’ve been here for three days who know what they’re doing better than the guys who’ve been here for a year). And also are opening after a hella busy day the night before that cleaned out certain items. And the boss is coming in a bit late. So things are, as you might imagine, a bit hectic. Plus, of course, getting that catering order squared.

-So, here I am, trying to modify the two tickets that came in before we left with the new times, show the new kid around, do my morning set-up tasks all at once, and get that catering order going...when the guy who placed it calls. Despite him having decided that those six 9x13s were sufficient last night, he’s decided he wants more stuff. I say I need to call my boss. The customer insists that no, no, it’s just one or two things, it’ll be fine. Since I don’t want to bother my boss, want to get this over with, and have a spine like a wet noodle, I let him bully me in to ordering more food.

-Once again, I have to go over our whole catering menu with him. He says he wants to add an item we don’t sell 9x13s of, and also only have a limited quantity of. He says that’s fine, he doesn’t need a 9x13, just four orders. Which, as I had pointed out to him repeatedly last night, is what goes into a 9x13. And also, we haven’t got. Note that I have to explain this to him THREE. TIMES.

-By the time he’s done, he’s added SEVENTEEN items to the order (granted, that included seven individual servings of soup, and six individual orders of dessert). He declines to increase the tip when he pays.

-My boss arrives. He is, to say the least, unhappy about my taking this order, and spends ten minutes (rightfully) calling me out on it, plus gently ribbing me about it all morning. He tells me to call the customer back, and tell him the now much-larger order might need to be up to an hour late. I tell the customer. He declares that we have a whole hour to prepare his order, what’s the problem? He makes noises about canceling the add-on. My boss looks over the order, realizes we maybe can do it in the original timeframe, albeit with difficulty, tells me to tell the customer this. The customer is pleased, and concedes that tripling an order an hour before it’s supposed to go out is maybe a bit unreasonable.

-OK, so we’re hard at work. We’re gonna make it, we’ve got most of the big order out, we just got to do the last couple items, and then pack them up. We’d have been done with it, in fact, except that by now we’re open and customers are coming in to order, and have to be helped. A customer comes in, and slowly makes a rather large order. I tell him it will take quite a while, he’s eminently reasonable about it.

-I’m about to finish packing the catering order, we’ve started working on the big order, the second lady who I called about her initial order time being impossible rolls up with her husband, half an hour after she said was the latest she could come (and forty minutes after it was ready; they turn out to be older folks, which I suspect is one of the reasons for what follows.

-Now, I’ve discussed out lunch special before, not going to recap it again, but suffice to say they come with a particular side, and for a small price that side can be replaced with a different side. So naturally, the first thing the lady says is that she knows it wasn’t on the initial order, but can she make such a replacement? I sigh, and say sure. But, when I call up her order...not a lunch special. Full-size everything.

-She says, oh, sorry. Thought I ordered a lunch special, never mind. They check the bag. Her husband demands to know where the sides are. I explain that said side comes with the lunch special, which they didn’t get. But we’re supposed to get a side he insists. SHE explains that it only comes with a lunch special. He insists that they did, in fact, order a lunch special. I show them that they did not. He finally, reluctantly, concedes. I ask them to pay. He insists that he already did. I tell him that he did not, and show him this. He spends ten minutes arguing with me, ten minutes I do not have to spend, because of all the other stuff to do. I’m about to lose my temper...and one of my coworkers, who would prefer I be helping with other things steps in and takes over arguing. (please note, she’s being reasonable and trying to get him to be reasonable, but he’s not having it). I finally get him to pay by promising talking with our technical people, and promising to refund them if it turns out he paid double. As they walk out my co-worker says to me that man it was hard not to yell at the guy.

#Work Story #Work Stories

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londonspirit · 4 years

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Occasionally, Dan Levy will pick up his phone and send a text: “Can you believe it?” These messages are sent to Annie Murphy or Noah Reid or Emily Hampshire or Karen Robinson, former inhabitants of Schitt’s Creek, titular town of the series Levy co-created with his identically-browed father, Eugene. What Levy can’t quite believe is that a CBC and Pop network show that aired in the U.S. after reruns of The Young and the Restless became a no-shit international phenomenon and won every major 2020 comedy Emmy from Outstanding Series to Outstanding Contemporary Costumes, plus awards for the show’s four main cast members: Levy, Levy the elder, Murphy, and Catherine O’Hara.

Not that Levy has any qualms about the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Or, more accurately, the best thing he’s ever made happen: In addition to creating, writing, and starring as skeptical scion David Rose on Schitt's Creek, Levy occasionally directed episodes and sourced many of the award-winning costumes. But the endless wretchedness of 2020 is perhaps an inopportune time to publicly garner good fortune.

“What this year has done has opened so many people's eyes to so much of the social unrest that is happening in America and really forced people to learn more,” Levy says, sitting in the bland Toronto apartment the 37-year-old is temporarily renting until he can head back to LA. “Read more. Educate themselves more. Check their privilege more. And yet…” Levy’s magnificent eyebrows unfold from a furrow of probity to an arch of delight, and his mouth into a crooked tilde of a smile. “There are moments when I think it is important for your sense of self to also be OK to say, ‘Something good happened to me this year, and I worked really hard for it.’ And so did a group of really talented people that I love. You're kind of caught in this place where only you can talk about it amongst yourselves.” Levy’s conversations with his co-stars are couched in language familiar to anyone who doesn’t want to give off the vibe of an Instagram caption on a pandemic birthday trip to a private island: "Well, obviously, you know, this is not of much significance" compared to everything else that’s going on. Still, Levy has to acknowledge that, yes, a good thing did happen; after all, he says, “You're talking about breaking records at the Emmys!”

Since he began social distancing, Levy has engaged in something like a fame-offset program, matching his good fortune by taking, publicizing, and raising money for University of Alberta’s online Indigenous Canada course. Levy’s queasiness about his success happening with a 2020 backdrop seems to stem from goodness so pervasive he’s caught himself thinking, Am I going to seem too, like, sincere? (When I ask if he believes he’s a good person, Levy frets, “Is being a good person something you can proclaim? Or is being a good person something that someone has to observe about you?”)

And Schitt’s Creek itself is an oasis of kindness — it doesn’t seem coincidental that after a slow five-season ascent, the show’s viewership exploded in its final year as we quarantined with our own bad thoughts. Levy has said that the arc of the Rose family — a “Balenciaga” to “consignment Balenciaga” to “back to current season Balenciaga” story — is based on the question, “Would the Kardashians still be the Kardashians without their money?” To Levy, the answer is obvious: Yes, and they would be better for it because, he says, “There is a love to that family.” So of course when the Roses lose the fortune amassed from a video rental empire and are forced to move to a Canadian town purchased as a novelty gift, they learn what truly matters.

Levy’s father and collaborator, Eugene, who co-wrote Christopher Guest films Best In Show and A Mighty Wind, says, “There are people who work in the world of comedy where they like to push envelopes in terms of what they can get away with, but that may come at the expense of other people. If it's at all important to you to avoid then you, you know, avoid it.” With the notable exception of programs like The Great British Bake Off — Levy, naturally, used to host the Canadian iteration — it is quite a bit more difficult to be entertaining and kind than entertaining and cruel. But Dan Levy attributes some of Schitt’s Creek’s success to what he calls “a purity to the storytelling and the show that caught people off guard because it was so unexpectedly sincere.” “There was something badass about the fact that it didn't have the kind of edge that people had often equated with cable comedies,” he says.

Making Schitt’s Creek a source of goodness and light was an unrelenting crush for Levy. “How much anger and rage do I have to repress in order to get the light out?” he says, laughing and stroking his elderly dog, Redmond, so vigorously I worry about ginger fur getting on Levy’s David Rose-appropriate black and white JW Anderson T-shirt. “Um, at times a lot.”

When Levy was working on Schitt’s Creek, he was picked up every morning at 5 a.m. and driven to set, where he would rehearse and rewrite scenes. Next was making decisions about sets and wardrobe fittings for cast members like O’Hara. Moira Rose, the actor mother of Levy’s character with a grandeur as flamboyant as her choice of syllable emphasis, might have to go to meet someone who makes her feel exposed. Levy would supervise an outfit selection that functioned as a billboard for her emotional state. “How do you express vulnerability?” Levy asks. “Well, you put more clothes on, and more aggressive clothes on, so as to armor yourself.” Levy needed to approve budgets, which didn’t increase even as the show gained more attention. He would act and sometimes direct, and then be back in wardrobe picking out the right statement necklaces for O’Hara to wear to buy a used car.

After filming ended, Levy went to the writers’ room to work for a couple more hours. He’d get home at 8 p.m., quickly eat dinner, and write until 2 a.m. on some nights. Then he’d sleep for two hours and get in the car to go back to work at 5 a.m. When shooting wrapped for the year, Levy went into post-production, spending months in windowless rooms. Once a season was finally completed, preparation would begin for the next one. Levy charged himself with making sure every detail connected to each other and tracked with the personal histories he and Eugene had written for each character before the series began. Eugene can remember only one deviation from those bios during the entire run of the show. Originally, the father of motel employee Stevie had been a roadie for Fleetwood Mac before receiving a restraining order from the band; the detail was later transferred to the father of diner waitress Twyla, who was played by Levy’s sister, Sarah. Several times during the run of the series, Levy developed anxiety so literally paralyzing that his neck would seize up, forcing him to wear a brace and receive chiropractic treatments between scenes.

“Through every phase of Schitt's Creek,” Eugene says, “Dan had a very strong sense as to what it was he wanted the show to look like and what he wanted it to sound like and what the tone of the show was going to be and what the message of the show would be. He certainly makes himself responsible to make these things happen. He doesn't go with the flow at all.”

Total control let Levy create a perfectly realized world, from the menu size in the Café Tropical to the caws in Moira’s comeback film The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening. But it’s perhaps not the healthiest arrangement when the confines of quarantine feel normal to you. “Over the past six years,” Levy says, “I really haven't been outside that much.”

When he was a boy, Levy became so anxious that he did not want to attend birthday parties. He did not want to go to summer camp. He did not, in fact, want to engage in any social situations. Levy’s anxiety physically manifested as iritis, an inflammation of the eye which doctors feared would eventually take his vision. It was as if the anxiety that drove Levy indoors had then decided to draw all the curtains.

“I think that came from a deep-rooted fear of knowing that I was gay and not being able to be free,” Levy says now. “By the time I got to high school, when your brain is starting to catch up to your physical impulses, it led to a very confusing time. Because on the one hand, you are now being introduced to things like self-awareness and anxiety. At the same time, you’re becoming more and more savvy when it comes to hiding it.”

The escape was theater. Levy began writing, directing, and performing in school plays, including a student-run stage adaptation of Clue produced during a teacher’s strike. “I was starting to develop a sense of confidence by way of being able to entertain people,” Levy says. “It was like a decoy version of myself that I was putting out there to not have to live with the reality that when the bullying was happening — if someone was calling me a f----t or whatever it was — they were speaking the truth.” What a cursed blessing to discover you have a gift but to understand it as a distraction from who you really are and not as a true part of yourself. No wonder that Levy says of creating a persona — naturally, in the self-distancing second person — “Your sense of self gets chipped away. You lose sight of your own value.”

Levy had a ticker of fears scrolling through his mind broadcasting what might happen if people knew who he really was: “Fear of being ridiculed. Fear of being othered. Fear of exposing something that I think a lot of high school students at the time didn't have the tools to process properly, to make it comfortable for me.”

Then, when he was 18, Levy came out. Actually, his mother, Deborah Divine, invited Levy to come out, over lunch. Levy accepted, and was accepted in return. It was one version of an inflection point that Levy has explored in some of his most impactful work. In Happiest Season, Hulu’s lesbian Christmas rom-com, Levy delivers the film’s high point in a monologue; filmmaker Clea DuVall tells me, “I cried during every take.”

“Everybody’s story is different,” Levy’s John says to Kristen Stewart’s Abby, who is planning to propose to a woman whose family doesn’t know she’s queer. “But the one thing that all of those stories have in common is that moment right before you say those words, when your heart is racing and you don’t know what’s coming next,” John goes on. “That moment’s really terrifying. And then once you say those words, you can’t unsay them. A chapter has ended and a new one’s begun, and you have to be ready for that.”

On the Schitt’s Creek episode “Meet the Parents,” David’s future in-laws discover their son Patrick is gay before he can come out to them. “Did we do something wrong, David?” Patrick’s father asks, inadvertently head-faking homophobia before saying, “The thought that Patrick was feeling like he couldn't come and talk to us about this…”

Obviously not everyone who comes out gets the response they’re hoping for. But like Patrick, Levy had a happy ending sitting in front of him: accepting and caring parents wondering when their son was going to tell them he was gay and trying to respect his timeline for doing so. When I ask Eugene if it’s painful knowing that he could have potentially alleviated the anxiety Levy was feeling by approaching him sooner, he concurs. “I would have done things so much differently, you know?” Eugene says slowly. “I would have gotten more involved in talking about what was going on.” But he doesn’t know that it would have changed anything — after all, the flow goes with Levy. “Not necessarily that we would have gotten any direct answers,” Eugene says. “You can only get back what you get back.” (Levy confirms he was not ready to discuss his sexuality before he was; despite his parents’ openness and love, he had created Schrödinger’s Eugene and Deb in his head, simultaneously welcoming him and rejecting him at the news.)

Newly out, Levy went to college and began dating. However, he says, “I was not in any place to be of great value in a relationship.” Like David Rose, Levy’s pitch tends to ascend on the back half of sentences, making him sound like he’s interrogating his own thought process. “You then get into these habits where you're dating people who are totally wrong for you because they're seeking out people who are a bit damaged,” Levy says, “and you're seeking out people who have one foot out the door so that you don't actually give yourself over in any kind of way.” (After I mention that while watching Happiest Season, I wanted Stewart’s character to dump her semi-emotionally damaging girlfriend and leave with Levy, he says, “In this conversation, I'm brought back to many a relationship [where] ‘RUN’ was just, like, the subtitle flashing for about a year and a half of my life.”)

Dating, then, became another way to keep people out. “I really got to a point where I felt like if I didn't make an active choice to pull myself out of this shell that was becoming such a comfort,” Levy says, “I would not be the adult that I want to be.” He spent a summer in England, answering phones at the ICM talent agency as exposure therapy for speaking, unscripted, to strangers. A month and a half later, he auditioned to be a host on MTV Canada. Levy says it was “the ultimate exercise in pushing myself and getting myself out there. If I could get a job on television asking other people questions — which had previously been on the top five things that I would never want to do — this could be the final kind of exercise in changing myself for the better.”

Like Levy’s high school theater work, his success as a host was a gnarled little monkey’s paw of unfortunate wish fulfillment. He was charismatic on screen and became famous enough to travel to New York on the weekends and get into the clubs he wanted to get into. Levy also pioneered the now-prevalent televised after-show with his The Hills discussion series, which exists in the same tonal universe as Schitt’s Creek: sharp enough to make you feel smart for laughing at it, but warm enough that Lauren Conrad herself was a guest.

But much of the work felt limiting. The questions he had to ask celebrities were pre-negotiated with publicists and written by producers — as Levy notes, “No one wants to sit down with someone from MTV Canada and have a revelatory chat about life.” One of his last appearances before quitting was the MTV Movie Awards red carpet. “You could see a kind of judgment in the people you're interviewing,” he says. “They're not rolling their eyes, but you can feel them thinking about rolling their eyes. And I know that a lot of the times they were questions I didn't necessarily want to be asked if I were in that situation.” Pretending to be the version of himself he thought people would accept, Levy says, “kind of just didn't feel worth it anymore.”

You know the next part. Levy realized he could keep the traits people had responded to when he performed — his charisma, his humor — add sincerity, and still be compelling. He spent half a decade grinding out something that was truly of himself. And through Schitt’s Creek Levy became, his father points out, “one of the top showrunners in the entertainment business right now.” Eugene says, “After the [Emmys] broadcast I think there were probably some executives who — if they even remember us going in to pitch the show — are probably kicking themselves.”

Based on what he does next, Levy is now in the unique position of being able to calibrate how famous he becomes. It’s evening in Toronto, and Levy mulls the question over what simply cannot be good wine; when I ask what kind it is, he says, “Red?” Levy knows he could choose to stay behind the scenes and work on the ABC Studios projects he has in development. But Levy is also in the early stages of a romantic comedy he would star in. He worries that he wouldn’t be able to handle uber-fame with the aplomb his co-star Kristen Stewart does. When they went out to a dive bar while filming in Pittsburgh, he says, “I was just so kind of in awe of her confidence and comfort in herself. She's so at ease — [I say that] as someone who I think will always be on their journey to have that for myself.”

“Dan’s assessment is actually incorrect,” Stewart says later. “But what I have done is try to keep that experience [of fame] fairly insular, not make other people I’m with take on the weight of my own self-consciousness — or, God forbid, have someone think I’m up my own ass and loving the attention. It’s easier for me to pretend [people noticing me] is not happening, even though on the inside I still feel like the world is a big school yard of giggling onlookers. Are they laughing at me? Yes, no… Who cares.”

If Levy ever does find himself in the position of being Stewart-famous, she thinks he’ll be fine. “What I did notice was how absolutely wonderful Dan is with everyone,” she says. “He is so loving and gracious towards people that recognize him. The positive force he puts out into the world is clearly reflected in how people come back at him.”

What Levy is putting out into the world next: “I would like to date more,” he says, shoulders bashfully rising ceilingward. “Circumstance plays such a huge part in what we accept for ourselves. When you're doing something that you love it’s like, ‘I have a full plate.’ Even though [Schitt’s Creek was] super intense and even though at times I need a neck brace, it was never not inspiring, and it was never not thrilling and exciting and totally satisfying. So to [want to] make space for someone else…in a way, it is the ultimate filter. You’re basically saying, do I want to carve out the space in an already full and fulfilled life for this person? And a lot of the time, the answer is no. But it only makes it that much better when the right person comes along.”

For now, Levy’s plate is full of his multiple simultaneous projects. (He says there are more than three but few enough that you could count them on both hands, though he doesn’t want to talk about them in detail until there’s actually something to talk about — if Levy follows the Schitt’s Creek model, he jokes, he’ll “get five seasons on television before anybody sees them.”) Before he begins writing, Levy must make sure his entire house is immaculate. Even today, months after the series finale of Schitt’s Creek aired, Levy is negotiating the length of the “fuck”-blocking bleeps of syndication. But as we have all learned this year, not everything is under our control, even if we are Dan Levy. Stewart remembers him panicking as he tried to decorate a new home and realized none of the furniture he bought made any sense together. “The idea of him left and right showrunning and developing and acting and writing — and then his sweater closet confounding him — was very cute,” she says.

A certain amount of acceptance will be useful as Levy figures out how to follow up a beloved hit show. “The goal was to make sure that the first season was exactly what we wanted it to be,” Levy says of his Schitt’s Creek thought process. “To use the resources that we have as best as we can to get that season out there, so that we can go to sleep at night knowing that if people don't respond to it and it gets pulled off the air, there was nothing more we could have done.” Levy leans forward with a sincerity he’d surely second-guess if he were writing this scene and explains the daunting task of living up to yourself. “That’s the goal of anything I'm gonna do from here on out. It's just, try and do the best job you can. Try to make sure that you're loving it.”

#dan levy #daniel levy #bustle interview #such a beautiful interview #thoughtful and passionate and lovely #and just another of the many many reasons why I've fallen REALLY REALLY hard for this man #not only fucking gorgous #but also kind and GOOD and smart #long post #as in #really long post #SOWWY #but I wanted the whole thing on here #tw: anxiety #just in case

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k1rby-sucks · 4 years

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Ok so apparently one 1 person wanted me to review the other High School Musical movies, and that's enough to convince me so... I haven't watched the 3rd one yet, but it will come...

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

Everything about this movie is meme-able and screams "was made in the 2000". The outfits, the hair, the school, etc. But talking about the school, look, I'm Canadian, so is ALL of that really a thing? Ya know, the whole school spirit, and everyone being hyped about BasKeTBaLl? I'm a high school senior, and I've never been to a single school sports of whatever... So that's that. Also, the cliques... I wonder if anyone at Disney has ever been to a highschool? I must say I go to a really chill one, but nobody cares what you do outside of school, or what people you hang out with. Like, nobody cares at all if YOU BAKE ZEKE! Also, still on the school... They have so much budget??? Like, I'm pretty sure East High is a public school... Where do they get the money for the so many sports uniform, and even for the musical?? I know my school, or just public schools in general, don't have that kind of budget.

Now, let's talk characters... Our dear Troy... I guess he's an okay guy, just needs to be more direct to Gabriella, who's also a nice girl... Idk, they aren't much of the "power couple" I think they are supposed to be... That said, I love Sharpay. She is a real theatre kid, except she doesn't reference enough musicals (copyright I guess?). I love drama queens, guilty as charged. Also, her brother, he's our gay icon, I stan. Then there's Kelsi, who's so sweet and I would die for! The other characters kinda fell flat for me... I feel like they were there just to prove the cliques, and didn't impact the story very much...

And the music... Ahh, what can I say... First, I'll repeat myself, but I don't think any of the actors are actually good signers.... Like, you can feel the auto tune. But, the breaking free song is a bop! Also, the basket ball song had me laughing, cause I could only think of the bad lip reading video, if ya know, ya know... Also, we never knew what was actually the spring MuSiCaLE.. The songs that we heard didn't make a lot of sens, and that really annoyed me...

So yeah, in all of that, high school musical is an okay movie, who had me laughing a couple times because it was cringey... Also in the ending, I feel like they are all cool, and there are no nerds anymore? That was kinda weird...

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2

Ok, if the first movie was meme-able, this one is even better! There were abviously a few problems of let's say... Work ethic... Cause if you've ever had a summer job, you know that it's really not like at the Lava Springs place... They wouldn't employ all students, like to work in places like those, let's say, in the kitchen, you need a cooking degree. Also, do those kids work from 8am-9pm? Cause they seem to be there from early in the morning till early at night, like everyday! That's kind of a problem. Also, the director of the place is a little bit of an asshole. I know he wants to please Sharpay, but he also has other guests?? Also, I need to talk about the whole talent show situation. First, they made a wayyyyy to big of a deal about it. I'm pretty sure "important guests" wouldn't come for an amateur show, that looked pretty bad too. And everyone was so hyped about it, like the employees, and couldn't do it anymore... That was a bummer. But in the end, the director was going to give the STAR DAZZLE AWARD to Sharpay, who didn't do anything for the show... But then she gave it to her brother, who also didn't do anything??? (except set up Gabriella and Troy for their number...) so yeah, that whole situation was weird...

On another thing, those kids talk way to much a out school, even when it's not school? Like it's the summer, stop talking about your school... Even if you love your Wildcats so much, I think you can think about other stuff...

The music... There were 3 definite hits for me... Bet on it is a bop and a really good meme, and that's the tea. Then, Sharpay gave us 2 great songs. Fabulous and tikitiki were funny as hell, and I won't get over that. Then, I don't remember any other song, so there.

So yeah, I probably missed a few things, but that's my critic for these great films... Now I'll go watch the third one...

#high school #high school musical #High school musical 2 #Critic #Film critic #Movie critic #Gabriella #Troy #Sharpay #Sharpay evans #Ryan #Ryan evans #Long post

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dustinjohnson1981 · 4 years

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my first post

This is my first and maybe only post. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve been homeless for 3 months and it doesn’t seem like anyone cares. I’ve tried reaching out for help with shelters, churches, and even government programs and haven’t been able to get any assistance. Shelters won’t help cause I have an 11 year old pit bull dog that I’ve had since she was a few months old. She’s the sweetest dog you will ever meet, but because she’s a pit bull, there’s that stigma that she’s aggressive, which she isn’t. I’m no saint, and I’m not here to try and lead anyone on to thinking that I am, but I am a good person. I’m just an ordinary person, trying to get through this hell we call life. I have a couple people I call friends, but in reality, we’re more acquaintances that have just known each other for like the past 16 years. Maybe I’m just too different from the rest of humanity, but I would do just about anything to help a friend out if they were in my position, but my “friends” don’t want anything to do with me. I feel like I’m a burden and think I would be better off dead. I definitely don’t have any reason, any purpose for living, I’m just a waste of human existence. I’m not really into religion, at least definitely not the go to church every week type, and lately, about all my faith in God is me cursing at him for making me homeless, if God is even real. So of course religious people jump at me for those comments saying it’s the Devil, not God. I’m like, ok, if it’s the Devil, and he was one of God’s angels, why does he allow the Devil to exist still? God is suppose to be all powerful, all knowing, all loving, but he lets humanity suffer here on Earth. Religion will say I was created in the image of God, and that he already knows everything that is going to happen before it happens, so first, it’s like what in the hell was God smoking when he created me the way I am and then knew I was going to end up homeless and contemplating suicide. I never asked to be born, to be raised in an abusive family. I am thankful that at 39 now, I had the common sense to tell myself when I was 8 years old I will never have a wife of children of my own, so that way I won’t risk repeating the cycle of abuse. I feel like whether it is God, or just bad genes in science talk, I definitely got the short end of the straw. Being 5′5 sucks for height when women seem to want tall guys. And I definitely don’t have the skills for social interactions, probably why I’ve never had a girlfriend. I always end up in the friend zone. I compare my attributes to that of Danny DeVito in the movie, Twins, with Arnold Schwarzenegger. If you haven’t seen that movie, I recommend watching it, it’s a good movie. I wonder where I went wrong in life to end up homeless. I grew up being good with numbers, so always thought I was going to be an accountant, but was never good at anything else in school and really hated going. Tried my luck in college and that was a complete waste of time, can’t write 3-5 page essays for English, so was never able to finish my AA degree. I was always a fan of WWE wrestling growing up and that was like my dream to be a wrestler, but again, being short and untalented and uncharismatic, that was never going to happen. I can say I at least tried for it though, trained for almost 2 years before getting a minor tear in my shoulder. I have no real skill set when it comes to work, I’ve spent my entire life working in warehouses through staffing agencies. Not being good is an understatement when it comes to job interviews. No matter how much I try and prepare for the questions, I always just freeze up like a deer in headlights. I hate working in warehouses to begin with, companies just treat employees like slaves, especially if you’re through an agency. They literally need no reason to end your assignment, so if they just look at you and decide they don’t like you, you aren’t going to last very long, that or they’re going to have you do the lowest type of work they have and force you to want to quit. They make you work 12 hour shifts days a week and only want to pay you minimum wage or slightly above that while as a company they make millions of dollars. And they do this to employees year round, regardless of weather conditions. So during summer, when it’s 102 degrees outside and your in a truck loading or unloading, it’s going to be like 110-115 degrees inside that truck and same in winter times, when it’s cold outside, it’s even worse inside, especially if you’re on a forklift, cause now you’re driving up and down lanes pulling pallets and you’re feeling the freezing wind as you drive. So I haven’t worked in about 2 weeks now and not sure when my next assignment will come, or if I’ll even take it. Obviously I need to so I can have money for food for my dog and myself, but it’s so depressing that I have nothing to show for my life. I’m in and out of motels these 3 months of being homeless, my checks barely cover the cost for a week at a motel. So my other bills don’t get paid, or if they do, their constantly being late. Having around $45,000 in bills/debts ain’t fun neither. I don’t even know why I made an account here and am writing this, I doubt anyone will read this and even less likely I will get any help. I’ve heard of Tumblr, but never really knew what it was. I only just found out after watching the Netflix documentary on Elisa Lam. When I have friends that won’t help, family that put me in this situation, why would complete strangers want to help me. I’ve tried GoFundMe and have had absolutely no luck there, I feel like you have to have a huge friend base on social media for that site to work. You post to your friends who share to others and so on and hopefully get people to help whatever the cause that person posted about, so for me, that just was a waste of time. Same with Twitter and TikTok, people respond how they feel bad for me but I can’t get anyone to want to help me with finding a job and a place to live. I can’t rent anyways, as I found out in December after applying to several places and being rejected, my grandmother put something called a judgment on my background so when apartments run a check and that pops up, they immediately decline my application. And renting a room isn’t an option neither as people don’t want my dog. I just feel hopeless and defeated in life and don’t see a reason to go on. I was just reading about the horrific car pile up accident in the Fort Worth, TX area the other day and feel bad for all those people, but at the same time, wish I was one of the six that died so that I could be gone from this world. Same if I could, I would gladly trade places with a child that’s dying from cancer or even if it was for one more day, trade with an someone’s parent, so that they could have that one extra day to tell that parent how much they love them before the parent passes. To be unloved in life, to feel completely invisible and unnoticeable to everyone around is one of the worse feelings I think you can have, and that’s how I feel everyday of my life. I don’t know why I keep hoping my life is going to get better, reality is it only ever gets worse by each passing day. And I don’t fear suicide or death in general, for me, it’s the pain I’ll endure in those final moments that scare the hell out of me. Like slitting my wrist or throat and bleeding out, or drowning. All the things that probable flash through your mind as your body reacts and obviously goes into fight or flight mode and tries to survive. Even jumping off a building or a bridge and watching yourself fall to your death, the panic you probable feel of how much pain you will feel when you hit the ground or get hit by a truck, or taking a gun and pulling the trigger, hoping that the bullet goes through exactly the way needed so that you hopefully don’t feel a thing as you fall to the floor dead. To me, it’s the process of dying that’s scary, not death itself. Death itself is mercy, I no longer will feel any pain, physical, emotional, psychological or any other way. Just nothingness, much how I feel my life is.

#elisa lam

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evak-fic-rec-turtleanon · 5 years

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Evak Fics - Co-Workers

A list for coworkers/colleagues. Includes fics where they are not exactly colleagues or coworkers but related to them working together in a way.

No Flirting in the Science Lab by smilexdarling (728 words) - Isak and Even fall in love at school, but this time, they're the teachers.

sweet creature by Skamtrash (1k words) - Along the lines of "We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks"

Pumpkin King by i_once_wrote_a_dream (1.7k words) - Isak grins, and taps the crown. “You’re the dumbest king I’ve ever met.” They work on a pumpkin patch.

White Elephant by HazyCosmicJive (1.8k words) - Vilde turns the office Secret Santa into a White Elephant Secret Santa.

stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - a teacher AU with zero teaching and a lot of crushing.

settle down by allyasavedtheday: Chapter 21 Model Au (2.5k words) - Isak was not prepared for a partner at this photoshoot. Chapter 35 Model Au Part 2 (1.9k words) - Prompt fill for where they’re doing like a couples photoshoot or something with Mikael and now they can’t stop kissing each other and everyone’s too endeared to be frustrated with them

in sickness and in health by wyoheartsmusic (2k words) - Emma is crushing on her teacher until she finds out he's very much in love with his husband. So this is in Emma's pov.

love doctor by princevaltersen (2.3k words) - “Looking through Tinder and rating guys in the paediatric unit is definitely something that you shouldn’t be doing at work.” Doctor au.

Email from Somewhere by wyoheartsmusic (2.4k words) - Isak gets an email from no one. He asks Even for help.

Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg by sugarbeat24 (2.5k words) - Isak and Even are chemistry partners. Fluff and chemistry jokes ensue. They are not co-workers but this is cute.

Colleagues? - SKAM Fic Week Day 5 by glbertblythes (2.6k words) - Isak and Even have been work colleagues for three years - a couple for two - and they like to call the office their "second home" for multiple reasons.

It Only Takes a Taste (When You Know It's Good) by shakespeareandsunshine (2.8k words) - It would be bad enough if it was just some mystery coworker stealing meals from the office fridge. Then Isak could hate their anonymous ass in peace. But no, Isak has a very good idea who the culprit is. And seeing the villain in the breakroom every day, smiling at Isak like he has nothing to apologize for was testing Isak's very limited patience. And also probably his self-control, although for an entirely different reason.

I Don't Date Cops by jinglebin (2.9k words) - Isak gets a new colleague and he's instantly smitten. Until said collegue tells him he doesn't date cops. b99 au

just a little bit out of my limit by theyellowcurtains (3k words) - Isak is pissed about where he got placed for work experience, that is until he meets his fine ass supervisor.

Pictures of You by MacksDramaticShenanigans (3.2k words) - The au where Even is a photographer and Isak is his infuriatingly gorgeous model

Can't We Be Sweethearts? by HazyCosmicJive (3.3k words) - in which Isak and Even work at a summer carnival together

EVEN by LiliMane (3.5k words) - A friends with benefits or kinda of an enemies with benefits type of situation. 'Whatever. People come and go. Sometimes they don't come at all. Sometimes they only send you money. And the ones that come don't stay too long. But that's how it is and there's nothing I can do about it. Not that I want to do anything about it.'

Adrian and Markus by ufologies (3.9k words) - Isak and Even go undercover on a case that unexpectedly ends up bringing them closer together.

i bet my life on you by janesargnt (4.8k words) - “Ok, so it’s settled then,” said Elias, getting to his feet. “If Bech Nӕsheim loses, he has to give Valtersen his car. If Valtersen loses, he has to go on a date in said car.” B99 au.

from my lips my sin is purged by slvtherxn (4.8k words) - After Even's last relationship with his coworker ended quite messily, his boss has forbidden him from dating any more of her employees. It takes him ten seconds alone with his new trainee before he decides to date him in secret.

Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops.

Thank You for Flying Norwegian Air! by orphan_account (5.4k words) - Isak and Even are both flight attendants who definitely don't have feelings for each other.

Don't worry, I've got you by everything_else (5.7k words) - Isak gets a job at a coffee shop.

18 Secret Santa Horror Stories That'll Turn Anyone Into A Grinch by GayaIsANerd (6.1k words) - Some secret Santa, some unfortunate google results, a whole lot of complaining and a heart full of gratitude. They work for a website that is like a Norwegian Buzzfeed but different.

i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) by orphan_account (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.

Crying Over Spilt Milk by MacksDramaticShenanigans (8.4k words) - The boys get their hands on Isak’s resume; Isak gets his hands on Even. Coffee shop.

my heart held a ledger by cynical_optimist, strangetowns (8.6k words) - A hitmen AU, wherein Isak and Even hate their jobs but love each other. This 'verse is now on permanent hiatus but it can still be enjoyed as a standalone oneshot.

Unclassified by bri_ness (9.7k words) - "Separate fiction from fact, romances from tragedies, the stories you want to experience from the ones you’d rather ignore." Isak and Even flirt in a library while having some deep thoughts about cataloging.

Merry Kiss My Ass (under the mistletoe) by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (9.8k words) - Working in retail during the holiday season is a nightmare. Especially when Isak has to work right alongside his just friend and not at all crush, Even. Among freaky customers, secret santa presents and constant reminders of his one night of passion with Even, Isak doesnt know if he'll make it to the new year. If only he could figure out who was behind all the random mistletoes he keeps finding...

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.

sweeter than wine, softer than a summer's night by dewdrops (12k words) - Isak and Even work at an amusement park.

Valtersen's Anatomy by evak1isak (12k words) - Isak Valtersen, a nurse intern, happens to fall in love with one of the new interns, Even Bech Næsheim, from the mental health team.

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by cosetties (13k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else.

Ground Me by Bellakitse (13k words) - In which despite his father helping with rent, Isak still needs money and therefore a job. Isak gets a job at a cafe and meets a barista who's beauty blows Isak away.

i broke the world for us by cuteandtwisted (16k words) - Isak is 'heartless', young, busy, addicted to work, and incapable of committing. And Even is a repairman who fixes things around the office, who sees right through his smokescreen, and who might end up 'fixing' Isak's cold heart.

turn my blue heart to red by allyasavedtheday (16k words) - “Did I scare you?” Even asks teasingly, waggling his eyebrows as he leans casually against the counter beside Isak. “Never,” Isak scoffs, sending a fierce scowl in Jonas’ direction when he catches him smirking at them both. Jonas is under the ridiculous impression he and Even have a crush on each other which is not true. Doctor au.

I Just Want You For My Own by Twinklylightseverywhere (19k words) - Even loves the holidays, really. He loves spending time with his friends and family, drinking hot chocolate by the fire, exchanging gifts, the like. You know what he doesn’t love about Christmas time? Working in a fucking Post Office.

Taste by MermaidsandMermen (SophiaSoames) (21k words) - Isak Valtersen doesn't do feelings. He doesn't do relationships. He's a good boss, and he knows his shit. Then that asshat Naesheim swans in like he owns the bloody place and Isak's carefully managed world starts to fall apart. He's impulsive and stupid and childish and probably the last person in the world who should be allowed to run the Food and Beverage department at the Radisson Blu, however many brilliant ideas he has and seems to manage to miraculously pull off. It's a match made in hell. Enemies to lovers.

Dear Friend by bri_ness (26k words) - Isak and Even work together in a failing video store, and they cannot stand each other. Isak and Even both signed up for the Love Letters dating service, and they’re both falling for their anonymous pen pal.

is it gravity, or are we falling in love? by mels (28k words) - Isak works at a coffee shop. There's two things he loves about the morning shift: 1, how beautiful the city is when it's sleeping and 2, avoiding the hot guy who he happens to have a crush on. Until one faithful day, he has no choice but to work with his crush.

A Fucking Bet by Crazyheart (32k words) - Isak and Even are just friends. They make a bet and decide to fuck only five times and then go back to being friends again. Isak hopes that he might be able to fuck his crush out of his system, once and for all. Who knows what Even’s motives are. They work at KB

We Don't Need to Whisper by staylucky (34k words) - Isak Valtersen is a new teacher at Bekkulaget with an embarrassing crush on the Head of Upper Juniors, Even Bech Naesheim. His mentor, Christoffer, is constantly winding him up and Isak's beginning to doubt if teaching is for him.

(WIP) Magic Eight Ball by folerdetdufoler (35k words) - Last update Dec 2019. His cubicle is in the bullpen, but at the edge, across from the offices along one wall. When the Chief makes his announcements Isak stands near the middle, leaning against someone else’s cube, reading emails on his phone instead of paying attention. This time, though, the Chief is introducing some new hires to the office: a sports editor, a city editor, and a marketing head. When Isak looks up to finally acknowledge the new team members, he gets a good look at the guy who is going to make his life a living hell.

Blind by evak1isak (44k words) - Isak has sex in a dark room with a random stranger, but he only hears his voice. He hears that voice again: it's his new boss', one of Norway's richest men.

(WIP) Medically Speaking by Ms_Tassimo (44k words) - Last update Aug 2019. Working as a hospital porter was not how Even Bech Næsheim saw his life ending up. But here he was; mopping up sick after a stupid mistake. However, the hot doctor with the nice smell? That just about makes up for it. Too bad Dr Valtersen seems like a bit of an asshole with a hell of a chip on his shoulder.

I'll Be Coming Home, Wait For Me by dahlstrom (47k words) - The diner AU. Even and Yousef open a 1950s American-style restaurant together - Even is the creative genius in the kitchen, Yousef keeps the trains running on time, and Isak, Chris B, and Magnus are all along for the ride. Falling in love over food while Elvis serenades from the jukebox. Welcome to the Throwback Diner.

such a beautiful mess by skambition (48k words) - Isak works at Kaffebrenneriet to save up some money for a trip with his friends. Normally, working there is chill. Until Isak starts to work together with Even, an arrogant hipster with horrible taste in music, that keeps using the phrase 'sex hair' and is not only judgemental and stupid, but also so hot that Isak sometimes can't breathe around him.

On call by MinilocIsland (49k words) - Isak knows what he's meant to do in life - surgery. And he can't wait to show everyone that he's good at it. That is, if he'll ever get a goddamn chance. Not getting hindered by ridiculous, charming guys whose main advantage in the operating room simply is the length of their legs. Or - a hospital AU, with both Isak and Even as intern physicians.

Around the Corner (My Very Personal Christmas Shopper) by Crazyheart (51k words) - Isak (22) works in a record shop for Jonas. Isak’s best colleague and friend is Eva, who works in the shop, too. Isak is still in the closet. He says things as he thinks, though. Doesn't like snowglobes. Even (24) comes and asks for a job. The two get off on the wrong foot, although Isak finds Even irritatingly attractive. Additionally, Isak has just gotten a personal Christmas gift shopper.

Masquerade by Sabeley (53k words) - Isak and Even were best friends before one botched mission tore them apart. When they are assigned to go undercover as newlyweds at an oceanside resort where couples are going missing, can they put their differences aside for long enough to solve the case? And can they fix what’s broken between them before it’s too late?

(WIP) and it falls just where it needs to be by mmxii (53k words) - Last update Aug 2018. An au where isak works at a campsite and there’s suddenly a new guy joining their team. featuring a completely chill isak, a suspiciously quiet cat, and a three-year-old asking way too many difficult questions.

Caught in the Crossfire by CrochetingWords (65k words) - AU where Isak and Sana are partners working for the Oslo police department. Even used to work for the Oslo PD and is now Oslo's most well known private detective assisting the department in cases while also blogging about them. Isak is not impressed when he shows up on one of his crime scenes, because what other reason is there to publicly blog about your cases than being fame hungry.

(WIP) a careful hypothesis of the heart by StMisery (87k words) - 12/13 chapters posted. Isak and Even don't start out on the best of terms. Isak had been waiting nearly a year for the position of researcher to open up again. If he got it, he'd be working his dream job within one of the best biotechnology companies in the world. He applied for the position, heart in his throat, only to be passed over for the new recruit. When he discovered the new hire was also the son of the CEO, well, that was an unforgivable offense.

You Don't Even Know Me! by cuteandtwisted (101k words) - The one in which Isak and Even are interns who got off the wrong foot and don't like each other at all (except that they do).

#evak fic rec #skam fic rec #coworkers #colleauges #office au #let me know what fics i'm missing please

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years

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WHY I'M SMARTER THAN USERS

Smoking rapidly became a statistically normal thing. As societies get richer, they learn something about everything and everything about something.1 In fact it's the old model: mainframe applications are all server-based software assumes nothing about the paths from poor to rich, I knew I could see myself—making at least 4 of these 5 mistakes. And bingo, there it is: The Men's Wearhouse.2 But as knowledge has grown more specialized, there are few strong enough to keep working on something no one around them cares about.3 As well as being smarter, they tend to be calmer and more upstanding; they don't need you, it will work anywhere the Web works. It was only then that we realized that they were started there. Unless you're planning to write math applications, of course. Where is the man bites dog in that?

Life in Berkeley is very civilized. During the 90s a lot of money. The simplest answer is to put them in a row. They were also a kind of semantic deficit spending: they knew new things were coming. Professors in New York and the Bay area are second class citizens—till they start hedge funds or startups respectively. I recommend being good. But I remember thinking his company's name was odd. They were also a kind of selflessness. That VC round was a series B round; the premoney valuation was $75 million. Economic power would have been the part where we were working hard, the groups all turned out to be, there are no customs yet to guide you. He tried to make it open. It's not something people tend to volunteer; one likes it the way one likes popping zits.

I want to do better. They usually know other founders, and certainly not you as an investor. And once you've written the software, and issue a press release saying that the new version was available immediately.4 Startups are stressful, and this made their software visibly inferior because among other things, incubators usually make you work in their office—that's where the word incubator comes from. The thesis seems to be that the most important consequence of realizing there can be good art is thus a property of the subject or the object if subjects all react similarly. What most don't realize is how late.5 What you're doing is business creation. Google does. There are sometimes minor tactical advantages to using one or the other, like a detective trying to unravel some mystery.

But writing and art are both very hard problems that some people work honestly at, so they're worth doing, especially if you can see your email, why not your calendar? VCs are pretty good at reading people. PR firms. Whatever looked like the biggest win.6 Treat the first few as an educational expense. Developers have used the accelerometer in ways Apple could never have imagined. So I added a message at that point. In art, the highest place has traditionally been given to paintings of people.

The self-reinforcing nature of this situation works the other way too: the less you need further investment, the easier it is to travel widely, in both time and space. The only place your judgement makes a difference is in the direction of over-engineering. The summer founders were as a rule of thumb from now on that if people don't think you're weird, you're living badly. Much of what's in the sage's head is also in the head of every twelve year old. If a physicist met a colleague from 100 years ago. I doubt it could be any other way, as long as the potential returns look good enough. Odds are this project won't be a class assignment.7 Our only expenses in that phase were food and rent.8

Why does John Grisham King of Torts sales rank, 44 outsell Jane Austen Pride and Prejudice: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good novel wouldn't complain that readers were unfair for preferring a potboiler with a racy cover. Viaweb let multiple users edit a site simultaneously, more because that was the truth. All you'll need will be something with a keyboard, a screen, and a funnel for peers. We always looked for new ways to give stuff away for free if advertisers would let them. His office was nicknamed the Hot Tub on account of the heat they generated. They're as expert in their world as you are in yours.9 Shockley Semiconductor, though itself not very successful, was big enough. The cheery, bland language of the people in a position of independence, they develop the qualities they need. It's something you're more likely to work in the end, and now he's a professor at MIT.10 This is particularly true of young people who have till now always been under the thumb of some kind of paternal responsibility toward employees without putting employees in the position of children. From this point, anyone proposing to run Windows on servers should be prepared to explain what to look for in founders. Because ambitions are to some extent marketing as well.11

How do you be a good angel investor? And how do you avoid mistakes you make by default? Most people who did great things were clumped together in a few top university departments and research labs—partly because investors are so unlike hackers, and they even let kids in.12 Currently the way VCs seem to operate is to invest in a bunch of ads, glued together by just enough articles to make it true, and the fact that they control Google, which affects practically everyone. Microsoft do? Among other things, they had no way around the statelessness of CGI scripts. Most high school students have searched for does not seem to exist.

Notes

Acquirers can be done, she expresses it by smiling more. And of course reflects a willful misunderstanding of what they too were feeling in 1914.

Ii.

I've said into something that would appeal to investors, you need to import is broader, ranging from designers to programmers to electrical engineers.

Founders rightly dislike the sort of person who would in itself, and Smartleaf co-founder before making any commitments. The other reason it used to end investor meetings with So, can I count you in? There's a variant of Reid Hoffman's principle that you can play it safe by excluding VC firms have started to give them sufficient activation energy required to notice them.

5%.

Revenue will ultimately be hurting yourself, if the statistics they consider are useful, how little autonomy one would say that I'm clueless or even being deliberately misleading by focusing so much on the blades may work for us, the airplane, the median VC loses money. I don't think you need to play games with kids' credulity.

Yes, there are before the name Homer, to the home team, I've become a function of the big winners are all that matters, just their sizes. Look at what adults told children in the succession of spectacular treason trials that punctuated Henry's erratic matrimonial progress made him an obvious candidate for grants of monastic property. Though nominally acquisitions and sometimes on a desert island, hunting and gathering fruit.

They'll be more likely to resort to expedients like selling autographed copies, or black beans n cubes Knorr beef or vegetable bouillon n teaspoons freshly ground black pepper 3n teaspoons ground cumin n cups dry rice, preferably brown Robert Morris wrote the first language to embody the principle that if a company they'd pay a premium for you by accidents of age and geography, rather than for any particular truths you'll learn. But no planes crash if your school, secretly write your thoughts down in, but this could be pleasure in a bar.

And I've never heard of investors want to change the number of startups have some kind of people we need to, so they will or at least for those founders.

In a project like a winner, they tend to say they prefer great markets to great people. But the most successful ones tend not to say they were still so small that no one on the parental dole for life in general we've done ok at fundraising is a scarce resource. The obvious choice for your side project.

The point of a cent per spam. One of the Daddy Model that it makes sense to exclude outliers from some types of applicants—for example, if you like a loser they're done, at least notice duplication though, because they can't afford to. But it's telling that it refers to features you could get a poem published in The New Yorker. This is what you love, or because they couldn't afford a monitor.

Actually he's no better or worse than Japanese car companies have been the first version was mostly Lisp, you should. I'm pathologically optimistic about people's ability to solve a lot of successful startups. There are some good proposals too.

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pandemicthestory · 4 years

Text

8: masked

YOUTUBE SEARCH// how to make a pandemic mask with a bandana (to save a brain dead sister)

After hanging up with Madison, Emma pulls up a YouTube video on how to make a DIY mask out of a bandana and two rubber bands.

She hasn't been outside for almost three months now, except now and then stepping onto her front porch so she can remind herself what air smells like. Now, it's time to brave the storm--or rather, the toxic virus that has suffocated thousands.

"Where do you think you're going?" calls mom.

"And what the hell is that thing on your face? Looks like a diaper." her dad loves to make jokes at her expense to entertain her mother. Normally, she might tell him to piss off and maybe comment on his lack of a career or any good qualities in general. That would normally land her "quarantined" (ha) to her bedroom. They see it as punishment, but for Emma, solitude away from those assholes has always been a delight.

Sure, these sentiments come across as harsh. But Emma's anger towards her parents didn't come out of nowhere. If it was up to her, she'd have a wonderful relationship with them--hell, they might all be sitting on the couch together right now, watching The Sopranos and sharing a bowl of popcorn. But that's an alternate universe that she'll never live in.

Some parents don't have favorites. Emma's parents are not those parents.

Once upon a time, back when she and Isabel were the best of friends, the four members of their family felt close. A cohesive unit. It was so long ago now that Emma hardly remembers it...but the memories of taking bike rides through the park trails that ended with a picnic, and of ice skating in the winter before the reward of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows, those memories are still there. They loved to be outdoors together. It seems like they became trapped indoors long ago, long before this pandemic began.

If Emma could let go of those memories, she would. Maybe it's because they're so deeply ingrained in her mind, like shrapnel in a war wound, that the pain of her current reality is sharper than it has to be. Every time she feels her mom's disapproving stare or her dad's condescending laughter, in the back of her mind, she remembers the ice rink. It's the comparison between then and now that she can't seem to let go of.

When she and Isabel got a bit older, their dad got a better job. Well, one that paid him more money, but not one that made him happier. Still, everyone called it "better." They moved to a bigger house in a more relevant suburb and their mom started wearing fancier clothing. There were no bike trails nearby.

As Emma's dad was around less, Emma's mom had more anxiety. And she had nothing to do with it--at first. At some point, she started to compare and contrast her two daughters. Emma: older, more introverted, creative, distant. Isabel: outgoing, popular, bubbly, positive. Emma's mom always felt that she was responsible for Emma's trouble connecting with others, and in some ways, she was. It was a cycle. Emma's distance led her mom to fear her, which made her more distant.

Emma was very young when her mom decided that she had already slipped away. Her mom made up her mind that she wouldn't let the same happen to Isabel. She felt immense guilt for letting go of Emma, but their strained relationship was a constant reminder of her own inadequacies. With Isabel, it would be different.

Emma was old enough and smart enough to understand the difference between the way her mom treated her and her little sister. It wasn't Isabel's fault, but Emma resented her nonetheless. So when Emma moved out of the butterfly room into her own space, she shut the door behind her. And thus, over time, the two sisters grew apart.

With each lonely glass of wine, their mother grew apart from reality. Her mission to "save" Isabel was noble, but she didn't have the energy to fully commit. And Emma's father was in and out of the picture to the extent that she decided to let him go, to shut herself off from the disappointment and scorn, a coping mechanism that she had unintentionally learned from her mom.

Ultimately, money had not solved the problems of the Bradford family. However, that didn't mean that Emma wasn't going to stockpile a shitload of it. And run away from them forever.

"I'm just going for a walk around the block." Emma says through her DIY bandana mask.

"Well, stay 6 feet apart from anyone you might see out there. It's easy to catch this thing even from just breathing." Emma's mom commands. Showing authority is the one of the last ways she knows how to connect with her oldest daughter.

"Yeah, no shit." Emma says under her breath, leaving before they can chastise her.

Emma's mom watches her daughter leave. Her dad shakes his head.

"When this is all over, we'll have to do something about her. She's not well." His concern is questionably genuine. He's not a bad person, though his loyalty has wavered over the years. It's more so that he fell out of touch a long time ago and never returned.

Emma's mom continues to stare. She doesn't like that her daughter speaks to her like that. But what she likes even less is the feeling that overall, in her life, she's losing control.

"I don't know about waiting until this is all over. We might have to do something sooner than that."

Emma steps outside. April in the midwest is nasty. Apparently, before global warming gave the planet a death sentence, this month used to be spring. There were flowers, and grass, and other green stuff. So she'd been told. But now, everything is grey and wet. Just as well, since the outdoors are not so relevant anymore.

She sees a navy blue Toyota Prius rounding the corner onto her street. She grins, she can always count on Madison.

Emma runs down the street so that her parents won't see Emma's car in front of their house. If they make this quick, they can be back before her mom and dad question what could have happened. They'll believe she had only been on a walk.

As Emma gets into Mad's car, the feeling of closeness is overwhelming. The two friends fight the strong urge to hug.

"Oh my god, this is so weird. I can't believe you're here. That I'm seeing you. Oh god it's trippy." Madison rambles.

"I can't believe it. Not hugging you really sucks."

Madison jokingly backs away from her.

"I dunno if I wanna hug you with that mask...looks like a diaper on your face."

"Yeah and where's your mask? You're just jealous cuz you're gonna die, like an idiot." Emma buckles her seatbelt and turns up the radio. David Bowie is really setting the rebellious tone.

"Ok can you please tell me where we're going? Kinda need to know if I'm gonna drive us there." asks Madison.

"Ok get ready for it: we're going to Best Buy."

Madison looks at Emma like, "you pulled me out of my house in a fucking pandemic for this? I hate you."

"What the hell are you talking about, Em? First of all, WHAT. And second of all it's closed!! Duh!!"

"And we're gonna go anyway. Just trust me, ok?"

Madison rolls her eyes and turns the car around. This is not the heist she was expecting, but it will have to do.

Driving through town is freaky, to say the least. Everything is closed, there are no cars, and the fact that it's grey just really makes it the most depressing place one could be on a Friday.

"Everything's really closed, isn't it?" Emma asks, staring out the window at the ghost town. Madison shakes her head.

"And you think Best Buy is gonna be any different?"

Seemingly, it isn't. They pull up to Best Buy and the store is aggressively closed, its darkened windows matching every other depressing business in the strip mall. The expansive parking lot is empty...except for just one car.

"Huh, who do you think that is?" Madison asks, peering while pulling into a parking space. Emma holds her breath, really hoping Madison won't be pissed, but knowing she will be.

"Yeah, um, I know who that is. Because I asked him to come."

"God Emma, what did you do?"

It's then that a young man steps out of his car. Short, athletic build, cropped auburn hair...it's Gabriel. Zoe's senior boyfriend. What. The. Hell.

"Ummm, care to explain why GABE is here?" Madison hisses through clenched teeth, as they get out of the car.

"If I had told you beforehand, you wouldn't have driven me."

They approach Gabriel, who leans against his car, slightly confused. Emma attempts a handshake, as if this is a business conference. She immediately hates herself for her awkwardness. What is the appropriate greeting in a heist?

"Nice mask." He smirks.

"It's a diaper." Madison retorts. He laughs.

"So Emma, I didn't tell Zoe...but if I'm gonna lie to my girlfriend, you gotta give me a good explanation. I mean, you don't even like me."

"True." Madison says, as Emma nudges her in the ribs. Emma takes a deep breath.

"Thanks for meeting us Gabe. Like I said on the phone, I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't important, and I'm pretty sure this might be life or death. That sounds stupid but yeah. This is all very weird, and I can't really explain the full story because there's this thing with my sister, and there's a game that she played, and this guy online might be responsible for why she's currently a vegetable, although I'm pretty sure that's temporary, at least I fucking hope it is. Anyway does that make any sense at all?"

Madison and Gabriel stare at her looking completely lost. Emma regains her nerve. Get to the point.

"Gabe, I know you worked here two summers ago. Right?"

He nods.

"Do they have...an employee entrance of some kind? Like a door in the back? Any kind of warehouse opening?"

"There's an employee entrance in the back of the store." he says, cautiously. Again, Emma takes a breath.

"Well then, what I'm hoping...is that you still have a key, or a card, or whatever it takes to get inside."

Both Gabriel and Emma look shocked. Gabe speaks first.

"I um...I keep all my key cards. You never know what could happen." Now that he's catching on, his tone has grown more serious.

"That's what I was hoping you'd say. We need to get inside, Gabe. I need a certain piece of equipment."

Gabe nearly laughs.

"So what you're saying is you want to steal electronics from the warehouse? Do you know what would happen if we got caught?"

"Well yes, well, no...um, my uh...little sister..."

Emma's face is red now. She's now realizing that this was an incredibly stupid idea...how could she have thought of something so reckless, and actually suggested it out loud. She'd fully love to be anywhere but here, even squeezed between mom and pop on the couch.

Oddly, it's Julian's voice she hears echoing in her head--scorning her for letting these other people into a situation so personal.

They don't know her. No one knows the real her, except him. He's yelling at her for jeopardizing their opportunity to run away together. For putting herself first.

She gulps back tears. Is it Julian's voice, or her mom's?

Madison's voice snaps her out of it.

"I say let's fuckin do it." she says.

Emma exhales. Gabriel looks at her intently.

"You sure?" he asks.

Emma looks at the dark, looming building in front of them. She learned at a very young age how to be brave.

"We gotta be quick."

#write #writers #writers on tumblr #writer #my writing #writing #yanovel #ya novels #sciencefictionstory #scifi story #scififantasy #pandemic #coronavirus #covid19 #gamergirl #hackergirl

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pjstafford · 4 years

Text

Precious Time

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” A tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens

I have been posting blogs every Thursday as a way to mark the passage of time of each week since I started working remotely and going out only for essential needs. I think many of us our redefining our relationship with time. So I have been thinking of the quote from Charles Dickens from A Tale of Two Cities

The passing of time is a scientific, incontrovertible fact. The sun rises and it sets and there is a day. The moon rises and it sets and there is a night. Winter turns to Spring and then to Summer and then to Fall. When it repeats a year has slipped away. Time is, also, a social construct. We say 9-5 Monday through Friday is a typical work day and there might be some logic to that, but there might be logic to 7-5 four days a week as well. We have Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, but some cultures add a tea or late supper. A midnight shift worker still gets lunch –even though his lunch is at 3 a.m. we don’t call it breakfast in the middle of the work shift. The lunch hour is a social construct of a work life. We mark our seasons and plan our celebrations based on Holidays that cross countries like Easter or Passover and that don’t Thanksgiving or the Fourth of July. Those are societal or cultural norms that we put in place to structure our time.

In this, the Spring of 2020, time has simultaneously sped up and slowed day and our social construct of time means next to nothing at all – even as we are in the midst of what is commonly called “Holy Week.”

I mark the time on Thursdays –

Thursday March 5th was my birthday. A friend and I went to a restaurant for dinner. There were ten deaths in the country from the disease. I worried if my trio to DC in two weeks would be canceled.

Thursday March 12 with the first confirmed case in New Mexico and the governor taking swift action I conversed with my boss about what swift action our agency would take to follow the governor’s lead and then I proceeded out of town to a work related trip that would last the week-end.

Thursday March 19 I woke up with my first day to work remotely and socially distance except for essentials. I wrote my first quarantine blog.

Every Thursday since…

And now its Thursday April 9 and 14, 000 across the country have died.

It’s happened all so fast! And time is so precious. There are steps we can take to reduce the deaths but we started so late. We must today do whatever we can to get more beds, more ventilators, more health care professionals and more tests. Time is scarce and there is an urgent need to get something done!

But that is not my role in this crisis. I am a non-essential employee. My role is to socially distance. And suddenly the social constructs of time looks different. Not just for me but for millions. I hear people talk about the days running together and is it ok to have a beer at 3 in the afternoon when they woke up at 4 a.m. and plan on sleeping soon. For me, I have actual work. I am amazed by how many phone conferencing, time specific duties I have during this time of social distancing. It sets some structure to my days. As I blog last week, I have discovered I have to work at maintaining some structure of a week-end, but I have more time during the week. I do not get up and get dress and commute to work and then commute back. I mean I do get up and dress, but it looks far different. There are hours “saved” there and I eat when I want at home because I am in front of a computer, or listening to a webinar or a press conference and that social construct of lunch time might become a shower, or a walk, or a X-Files break. Do you know how many X-files episodes are about the threat of global contagion? I digress. I digress a lot these days. My first blog was about everything I was going to do with this time, but if King Lear was written during a quarantine, my next novel is likely not to be.

It is, well, the worst of times for sure! It can, also, be the best of times for some of us if we let it. Last Friday was a great day! Well, the New Mexico order for stay at home was extended and the governor announced the numbers the models show might die which were shocking and we found out specifically how many ventilators we were likely to come up short on. And our President! But a nurse friend from New Jersey who had been exposed without proper equipment tested negative and it was a joyous day. I had a social media concert watch party about 5 on a Friday and it was like an actual Thank God its Friday party and that was so special. It was the worst of and the not so bad of a day.

The Dickens quote from a Tale of Two Cities! We are all on the global planet going through the exact same pandemic, but in many ways we are going through it very differently, aren’t we?

There are the tales of the medical professionals, god bless them. My guess is time never feels slowed down for them.

There are the tales of the unexpected heroes of grocery store employees, truck drivers, trash collectors, postal men, all who are not in fact staying at home because they are essential and the work they are doing cannot be done remotely.

There are the tales I know the best of those who are staying at home, but that looks different for different people. I live alone. I like solitude. I enjoy working from home. There are parents trying to continue education for their younger children while working full time jobs. There are twenty somethings who social lives mean more to them. There are persons who routine was to see their elderly parent in the nursing home every Thursday. I guess in some ways they are just different chapters of the same novel.

There are economic inequities. If you are having symptoms simply isolate into the basement or a single floor in your three story house. Or, if you have a single story three bedroom house, the kids may have to share a room when daddy has symptoms. Well, that looks a little different. If you live with your spouse and your two toddlers in a one bedroom or studio apartments, social distancing is not possible. Or if you are homeless and living in a shelter. Or if, or if or if. Decontaminate by immediately washing your clothes- because we all own washer and dryers don’t we?

And if you live in an abusive relationship and you are now alone with the person the entire time. The stressors are worse and….There are moments of hell happening across the global planet in the pandemic. Some has to do with the loss of lives. Some has to do specifically with social distancing.

But I also think that this is actually the reality of everyday life. The pandemic only exasperates existing problems. . While I sympathize and empathize with every single person going through hell, I cannot live it for them anymore than I can for all the homeless I regularly see on the street during normal times. Life and death, also, happen every day. The probabilities are high we will be effected in this time and I am not downplaying it and I don’t want to normalize it, but I do want to say there are some daily life lessons we could remember for when this is over – to love the ones we love, to know that everything can change in a second. The fact of life and death is not created in this time, but we are experiencing it differently now. As we experience the intensity of this time, we should use it to reestablish a relationship with time that is focused on the preciousness of that time.

I am struggling with sleep, worry and fear even if I enjoy the solitude. I cannot put on music and dance. It is a joyous activity and I feel little joy. But is my not dancing causing fewer people to die? Call me Pollyanna but I still am hoping that, for some of us, we can find the best of times in this time.

Most of our life we do not have enough of time . I want to get to a place for myself and I hope others can too where they can experience the time in a peaceful and precious way. I’m not there. I want to be.

I think of a woman I know who bakes everyday with her kids as part of their lessons- great for math and science. She bakes in the afternoon and the bake goods of the day are ready to eat around the 3:30 – 4:00 framework which is the time the kids were used to coming home and having a snack. 20 years from now those kids might think of this time as the time their mother spent teaching them to bake. That doesn’t mean all the other people experiencing hell are not still experiencing hell but not baking with her kids isn’t going to solve the world’s problems right now either. It’s ok to have a project to finish. It’s, also, ok not to and to spend more time enjoying your spouse or your kids or your parents or siblings if you live with them. Watch t.v., play a game, converse.

I feel very much alone in my isolation. I want to believe that those people who have this time with their families are embracing it and embracing them. And so why don’t I write that psychological thriller I’ve been saying I want to work on now for two years? I don’t know. I’m not learning a new language as I started with downtime in January and February. As much as I said in that first blog I had plans, boy, and looking forward to the time….I throw up my hands in the air exasperated at myself. Maybe I needed to process a little what the world was going through and how I felt about my non-essential role. Maybe I needed to give myself permission to feel the pain. Maybe now, I write this blog as a way of giving myself permission to look again at this time as precious- because I do not know when I will have this much of it again, because all time is precious, because tomorrow I might die.

It is the worst of times, ok! It is still precious time. This Saturday night I am participating in a virtual rock concert video watch with some friends. Can’t remember the last time I went out dancing on a Saturday night! Maybe it is ok to put on music and dance. I give myself permission to be joyous. I have the time.

#quarantine

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hey-hey-chan · 6 years

Text

Magic Shop - Minho

❀ Slight angst with some laughter

❀ Warning: mentions of death/loss

❀ Word count: 3.9K

❀ Working at your local cafe that’s always mistaken as a magic shop is quite tiresome. What happens when it’s more magical than you thought?

❀ A/N: Because i’ve been listening to Magic Shop so often ,, this idea just popped into my head I guess :// this is diff on how i imagined it but whatever that’s how life works. I actually wrote this cuz i was having a tough time and i just needed to relax and breathe. Take things slowly, the world is not as fast paced as you think and stay strong,, this was the point of this fic but it turned ,, idk man

beware i didnt proofread

“What do you mean you don’t sell magic tricks here?! I came all across town just to find something for my son! If-” I took a deep breath and gave the man a nice smile.

“I’m sorry sir, we don’t sell any magic toys or anything like that here. We’re just a cafe, I could get you a coffee-” Before I could finish, the man was waving his hands at me and stomping out of the door along with his clearly upset wife.

I took a deep sigh and returned to wipe down the tables. It was almost 10pm and the cafe was closing up in an hour, yet we barely got costumers around this time.

I scrubbed the table harder, still upset about the event that just took place. I’d gotten similar angry people who had stormed into the cafe thinking it was some sort of magic shop.

Ok, I guess I should’ve expected it before I applied for this job. I mean the name of the shop is called “Magic Shop”. I just assumed that people would look up what’s actually inside of the shop instead of barging in and demanding random knick knacks.

“I’m heading out first y/n, close up shop for me?” I nodded to the elderly man.

“Yeah sure, have a nice night.” I said. He dipped his hat to me, walking slowly on his way out. For some reason, I got the courage to say “hey, what did you even name this cafe Magic Shop?” Once he turned around, I continued. “Everyone gets confused on the name anyways, wouldn’t it be easier to change?” I suggested.

As always, the man gave me a small smile and shook his head. “I think the name of this place fits it. It’s quite magical. Magic comes to those who work here and believe int it.” Before I could ask more questions, the man said a quick “goodnight” before exiting quickly. I grumbled and returned to cleaning up shop.

“Magical my ass. The only thing magic about here is how many people come in thinking we’re an actual magic shop without researching about it.” I whispered furiously to myself.

As I was turned to walk to the employees room, I heard the familiar buzz which signaled that someone walked into the shop. I turned and saw a young couple walking towards me.

Oh great, people.

I gave them a quick fake smile and returned to the cash register.

“Hi! Welcome to Magic Shop, what can I get for you two?” I asked nicely. The young man, about my age, smiled handsomely at me.

“Hm, what do you want babe?” He asked to the other girl beside him. The pair looked like the perfect couple; she had light brown hair and was wearing a brown dress while the man was dressed in dark jeans and a button down. I wish I could have that once again.

Suddenly, their perfect facade broke when the girl rolled her eyes.

“Get me whatever.” She muttered. I almost cringed when she let go of his hand to fumble through her purse and pulled out her phone.

I looked back at the boy and made awkward eye contact. I tried not to put judgement into my eyes but all he did was sigh.

“Um, how’s the tiramisu?” He asked looking through the clear glass.

“The tiramisu? That’s actually my favorite, it’s SO good. Ours has a bit more rum in it than usual, but that’s personally how I like it.” I admit. He gave me a smile smirk and nodded.

“Wow, that’s cool ‘cause that’s the way I like it too. I get slightly irritated when there’s just too much coffee.” He distorted his face and shook his head. I laughed at his antics.

“Great, so would you like that for here or to go?”

“To go please.”

I nodded and reached into the glass to get a slice of cake.

“AHEM!” I swear I almost bonked my head on the top of the shelf. I poked my head up and stood.

“Is there a-”

“I can’t eat cake, I’m on a strict diet!” The girl cried out. I knew better than to get involved in relationship drama. Unfortunately, it happens a lot more often at cafes than one thinks.

“Babe, c’mon, it’s one slice, that won’t do anything to you! Plus, you’re the one who didn’t want to choose the-”

The girl slammed her hand on the shelf, making it rattle. My eyes widened in shock.

“Stop that! You’re always taunting me and putting me down and I’m sick of it! Come back when you’re done eating your cake!” Then she turned her gaze towards me. “And when you’re done flirting with that stupid cashier!” The childish girl ran out of the cafe, taking her attitude with her.

Once I thought she was over, she stormed back into the cafe. “Actually don’t waste your time coming back! I’m sick of you!” She screamed and ran out again.

The boy and I stood in shock for a while until he groaned and looked out the window, hoping to find her there. But instead we saw her get into a taxi and drive away.

“Um, do you still want that cake?” I asked awkwardly. I was a cashier, I was supposed to be happy at all times. I wasn’t trained on how to deal with messy breakups...or whatever that was.

The boy didn’t answer my question so I closed the shelf and took out a slice just in case. If he didn’t want it, then I would be glad taking it home.

I watched him slump against the chair and sigh. “You ever had any messy breakups?” His question was totally normal, yet I still felt a pain in my chest at the question.

“Um, sorta.” I answered blandly. He raised a brow but then turned away to look out the window. He loosened his tie and relaxed.

“Yours worse than mine?” He asked hesitantly. I shrugged and put the cake behind me, assuming he wasn’t going to eat it.

“Probably, but to everyone, their breakup is always the worst.” I fiddled with my uniform. For some reason, it felt normal to talk to this boy about something I’d never been able to talk about before.

“Yeah you’re probably right.” He fiddled with the sugar stand on the counter. “How young were you?” He asked. I hesitated, then sighed.

“I was 15. He was 17.” I noted casually, taking off my apron and hanging it up. He scoffed.

“15? That hardly counts then. How bad could it have been?”

I felt like worlds passed by before I mustered up the courage to speak again.

“He got hit by a car. Passed two days later.” I whispered out. The boy turned to me in shock and I knew he regret his words.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t-” I cut the boy off, not wanting to hear anymore.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. It was no one’s fault. I wish I could blame someone, but I can’t.” I muttered.

I dimmed the lights out and looked to the boy.

“I’m closing now, so I guess our conversation has to end here.” He got the hint and stood, gathering his jacket he had taken off.

“Hey, I’m really sorry for pushing. I guess I’ve been so full of myself lately, thinking my relationship was the worst.” He ran his hands through his hair and chuckled bitterly. “I guess I took for granted that I could just get out of the relationship if I wanted.” I shrugged and tussled my hair out of it’s ponytail.

“I guess. But you should’ve live like someone will die any minute.”

I grabbed my keys as we both headed to the door.

“Then, how do you live?” I paused for a moment, unsure how to answer his question.

“Like I will.”

-----

“Sorry, we don’t sell cards and magic books here, sorry.” I repeated the same line once again. I flinched back once I saw the angry reactions of the people.

“Maybe you should rename your goddamn shop then!” The kids marched out and talked bad about me behind my back. I blew out a huff of air and saw my bangs fly up.

I frowned once I saw other people who popped into the shop walked out as well. I hate this place so much.

“It’s your break now y/n.” I nodded to the other girl and almost ran to the back room.

“Rough day?” My boss asked. He was an elderly man who did nothing but say ambiguous statements and made bad jokes.

“It can’t be because I saw no dogs!” He chuckled at his joke while I stared at him, wondering if he actually thought that was funny.

I instead sipped on my coffee and sighed. “Not any different from the ones before. People are still upset that we aren’t a magic shop. Maybe we should just become one so appease them.” I joked. The old man chuckled and slapped his leg.

“But that would break the purpose of this shop!” I raised a brow.

“Making a shop called Magic Shop into an actual magic shop would defeat the purpose of this shop?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “Then it wouldn’t be magic anymore.” I gave him a hard stare and felt defeated at his words. What the hell did that even mean?

Then the man looked at me, frowning. “Hey, why aren’t you dating? I saw that boy from this morning chatting you up and you did...nothing!” He exclaimed, almost baffled that I wouldn’t flirt with cute boys.

I shrugged and drank more coffee. “Um, sorry, I only date men who wear cologne in a green bottle and sing Christmas songs in the summer time. Oh and he also has to have a pencil collection and have socks for every day of the week.” He scoffed and shook his head at my detailed response. He ignored me.

“You’re still young and vivacious.” I was about to question to word choice but he went on. “You’re supposed to be breaking hearts and then piece them back together.” He made little sewing movements which made me break into laughter.

“Hah hah, you’re hilarious.” I spat, but with less bite than usual. I knew the old man was just looking out for me.

He sat still in his spinny chair, saying nothing which was odd for his normal behavior.

“You can’t let one bad experience ruin your entire life. People leave, people are lost; only you can continue to move on.” My expression turned hard at his statement, but I softened when I remember his wife had also pass not too long ago. “Sometimes all you can do is just drink tea and stare at the universe. Let the calmness fill you more than the experiences you’ve had, and that’s how you rejuvenate yourself.”

Before I could ask what that meant, he turned back to his computer and started typing again. I listened to the rhythm of his fingers hitting the keys and the sound of the people shouting outside.

“S-sorry, I-I’m I-” I sighed and stood. The young, new girl at the cash register was too shy to tell people off and was always terrible at staying calm.

“Hey, let her deal with it.” He muttered. I raised a brow and pointed at the door.

“Do you hear her? I’m afraid she’ll have a panic attack in front of all these people.” I said harshly.

“She needs to get stronger.”

“Well, some people are already strong.” I retorted. He held his fingers to his lips and pointed outside. I listened on to the commotion outside.

“Sorry we don’t sell magic stuff here! Go somewhere else and buy it!” I heard the dainty and shaky voice yell. I heard the buzz of someone leaving the cafe and I knew they left.

I looked over at the older man and he smiled.

“You’re never born strong, you just have to be strong sometimes.” I let his words resonate through my brain, chewing on the words.

I sighed and turned to the door again.

“And I do hope you go on a date with the boy who visited last night.” My eyes widened and I jumped back in shock.

“W-what? How did you even know about-”

“Hey, your break is done. Tick tock.”

----

“Drink tea and stare at the universe. What the hell does that even mean?” I mumbled to myself. The shop was empty as it was almost closing time. I had to talk to myself to fill the silence.

As I was about to walk out the door, I took a moment of silence for myself.

“Dammit.”

Those were the last words I said before I was sitting in a chair, sipping on some tea. It wasn’t as romantic looking as someone would imagine. I was drinking passion fruit tea and it was a bright pink. It was in a plastic cup since I was sick of doing the dishes. It was no small, dainty white cup with smoke steaming from it. It was just fruity iced tea.

Yet, the old man was right, I felt at peace.

Until I heard a buzz come from the door.

“Who the-” I whispered. As I turned around, I saw the boy from last night staring back at me. I froze from shock.

“Um, hey, it’s me again.” He chuckled. I nodded, taking a sip from my tea.

“Yeah, I remember.” I laughed. He held out a hand.

“Minho.”

“Y/n.” I shook his head, wondering why the guy was so formal.

I noted he was holding flowers and raised a brow.

“Oh these? I don’t even know, some guy just handed these to me on the streets and I didn’t have the heart to say no.” He giggled childishly.

I felt my nose getting itchy and a sneeze about to form. “Well, I’m allergic, so, um.” His eyes widened in panic.

“Oh, I’m sorry! Um, I should.” Before I could give him ideas, he opened the door and set them outside. “There, gone.”

“Thanks.” I then nodded to the counter. “Want something?” He shook his head.

“Nah, I should be heading home soon. I put a roast in the oven before I left.” I scoffed at his words. Who puts something in the oven and then just leaves their house?

“Well, what did you come here to say then?” I felt his nervousness roll off in waves. I could almost expect what was coming.

“Um, well, I was just gonna ask for your phone number. But, I feel really awkward right now and usually I’m good at this and-” He stopped when I started laughing. “Look, I just wanna be friends.” I raised a brow mockingly.

“Oh wow, first last words before friends becomes something else.” Now it was his turn to raise a brow.

“Well, I wouldn’t be too upset at that.”

I said nothing at that response. Then, I cut the boy some slack. I pulled out my phone and gave it to him.

“Here. Type yours in.” He looked at me with happy eyes and quickly typed it in.

“I’m going to be 100% honest, I had no idea what I was thinking when I was coming over here today. All I knew is I wanted to talk to you more.” I nodded.

“I get that. Sometimes you need to just go with your gut.”

A wave of silence over whelmed us.

“So that roast.” I nodded hurriedly.

“Yeah, so, see you around I guess?” I turned to walk out the door, but he caught me softly on the wrist.

“Wait, how are you getting home?” He asked.

“Uh, by bus.”

“I’ll drive you.” I shook my head. “Oh c’mon, it’s late and I bet the last bus already left.” I checked my clock. It didn’t.

I paused to give him an answer.

“Ok, fine, I’ll go with you.” I felt my heart burst when he smiled widely.

“Great, let’s go to my house first so I can take out my roast.” I let out a loud bark of laughter and followed him to his car.

I got in and noted his clean car.

“It’s pretty clean.” I noted. He shook his head and nodded.

“Yeah, I used to have to clean it because Sooyoung loved it clean. But now it’s over so.” He shrugged. I patted him on the shoulder.

“Sorry, dude.” He gave me a look.

“Do I really seem that upset about it?”

“No, but I felt like I had to do something.” He let out a chuckle and shook his head. He moved a bottle to the side to make way for my tea.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I have my cologne in here. I hope you’re not sensitive to smells.” I stared at the green bottle and shook my head.

“Nope. My nose is strong just like my mind.” He laughed and started the car. He slipped in a DVD and pushed a few buttons. “You like DVD’s still?” He gasped and feigned offense.

“Hey, I like the feeling of DVD’s in my car.” He pressed the play button. “Sleigh bell’s ringing, are you listening?” He sang to the first line. I felt my heart drop.

“A-are you singing Christmas songs in the summer?” I stuttered out. The car was filled with the familiar tune of Winter Wonderland which filled me of memories of snow and hot chocolate.

The boy laughed heartily. “Yes, Christmas songs are the best songs. Also, fun fact, I’m pretty sure it’s a way to cool down in the summer. You’re reminded of snow and joy that you don’t mind the heat and sadness as much.” I scoffed at his words, but nonetheless enjoyed the song selection.

“Hey, I don’t judge man. I love it too.” I shrugged. I loved the winter time. The heat always made me insanely bored and sad. I felt no motivation to do anything, plus I had no AC. The boy gave me an odd look.

“Really now? How did your last boyfriend deal with that?” He laughed. I sighed and looked out the window. Suddenly his face dropped. “Oh shoot, I’m sorry-” I waved it off.

“It’s fine! I mean, he personally hated it, as did everyone else.” I shrugged the topic off. “Honestly, we were polar opposites, more like friends than anything romantic to be completely honest. I was a sophomore and he was a senior: it felt like we were worlds apart, ya know?” He nodded and turned into a driveway,.

“Yeah, I get that. But that doesn’t stop the guilt does it?” He asked softly. I shook my head as he turned off the radio.

“No, I think it makes it worse honestly. Like I feel guilty that I didn’t love him the way I was supposed to.” I muttered out. The pain was so old that it felt like a residual emotion. I could live life without him, but the guilt felt so fresh.

We pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. It was a nice house for a young guy like him.

“I hope you don’t mind the mess.” He noted before unlocking the door. As the door was flung open, everything was fairly neat. There were a few blankets and papers sprawled over the place, but that wasn’t what caught my eye.

“Is that...a pile of pencils?” I asked quietly. He looked behind himself and saw what I was staring at. He laughed sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck.

“Oh yeah, um, I’m actually a college professor. What people don’t know is that the pencils these clumsy children leave behind are MINE.” He laughed maniacally and I couldn’t help but bursting into fits of laughter as well.

“Wow, I guess I’ll never drop my pencil in your class then.” He rolled his eyes. He stepped into the kitchen and pulled out the roast that looked magnificent.

“I have a feeling I would give yours back though.” He gave me a sly smile and dusted his hands off. I rolled my eyes at the man, yet blushed anyways.

“So, what school do you teach for?” I asked. His eyes lit up at the question.

“Oh, I taught at Korea University actually.” Damn, this guy must be smart. Then I realized something.

“Korea Uni? Isn’t that pretty far from here?” He nodded and sighed.

“Yeah, actually, despite the pay being really good, I just felt like the school wasn’t for me. So the reason why I’m here actually is I applied for a job at a local college here. The pay isn’t much less, plus it’s much more cooperative with the students.” I nodded in awe.

“Wait, why do you have a house here then?”

“Oh, this is my parent’s. They’re out of town so they let me use it. Hence the scattered mess. I’ll have to clean it before I leave.” I nodded, fiddling awkwardly at my fingers.

“That means if you don’t get the job...you’ll have to leave.” I muttered sadly. He nodded with a long sigh.

“Yeah...but let’s just both hope I get the job.” A wave of silence ran over us, but was quickly ended by the boy.

Minho stared at the roast and then back at me. “Hey, do you wanna stay for dinner?”

Usually, I would feel compelled to say no. But I looked at how big the roast was, and sighed.

“Sure.”

----

I leaned over the counter boredly as work was slow today. Almost no one was here except a few stragglers who came in to get a coffee or something. Also, there was a few people who came in thinking this was a magic shop. I hope one day I will be able to say yes.

“Y/n, good morning.” The older man walked in and tipped his hat at me. I gave him a small smile and tipped my visor back.

“Morning, boss.”

“Slow day?” I nodded furiously. “You know what they say about slow days? Those are the best days!” I scoffed at that remark.

“No, no one says that.”

Work was so slow that I actually had time to brew myself a coffee and drink it, trying to stay awake during my shift. As I was dozing off, I heard a buzz come through the door. I shot up from my chair.

“Hi, wel-” I stopped my sentence when I saw the familiar boy in front of me. I scoffed and tilted my hat up. “Welcome to Magic Shop, how can I help you?” His eyes were bright.

“I got the job.” He stated randomly. I squinted my eyes at him.

“W-what?”

“I got the job! I’m staying here for until a long time.” He laughed at that sentence but I was so happy for him.

“Oh my gosh, that’s awesome. I would hug you but I’m on shift.” He shrugged and gave me a small smirk.

“Don’t worry, I think we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.” He then started to back away and moving to out the door. “I need to head to a meeting now, but, I’ll see you tonight? Maybe? I’ll probably be here before you close.” I laughed and nodded.

“I’ll be here.” I called out. He gave me one last smile before he exited the place, leaving me in a girlish frenzy.

“Huh, I guess this place is magic after all.”

“TOLD YA SO!”

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squidgytoebeans · 6 years

Text

The Telstra Saga Continues.

If you’ve been following me long enough, you’ll probably know all about the issues hubby and I have been having with Telstra, one of the largest telecommunications providers here in Australia.

Buckle up folks, it’s gonna be a long one...

If you already know the backstory you can skip to the section after the sentence “So here’s where the new nonsense starts” for the new gory details.

We were without internet for almost three months when we first moved here because the previous tenant had no cancelled her account after she moved out. Then, even though we had documented proof that we live here now, when they rang her to ask if they could disconnect the line, she said she still lived here... because she didn’t wanna pay the $178 bill. For three months this woman held out phone/internet line hostage and Telstra, who own the line, said they couldn’t do anything about it. Anyway, ancient history, that problem was solved eventually when she finally gave them a date of when she was “going to move out”.

Then for over 12 months after that we battled with them over a slow connection that they kept telling us was “fine on their end” and refusing to send a technician out. Then when they finally caved and sent someone out that man was incredibly rude and sexist towards me (rolling his eyes at my husband every time I spoke even though I have a Diploma in IT and know more about these kinds of things than my husband) and didn’t touch a single thing when he was here. All he did was reiterated the default stance of “Everything looks fine on our end, there’s nothing I can do”.

In the end we made a complaint to the Telecommunications Industry Ombudsman (which costs Telstra $3000 every time someone makes a complaint regardless of what said complain is) and they managed to force Telstra to send out another technician... who called 10 minutes before he was supposed to be here and said, and I quote, “Everything looks fine on our end, I don’t see any reason to come there. Besides, I have a corporate client that I have to deal with today and the big guys are more important, you know?”.

So I rang our case handler at the TIO and they told them if they didn’t get a technician out here asap, the fines would get bigger and they’d be in a lot more trouble. The next day a technician actually showed up (this one was surprisingly really nice!) and it took him literally two minutes to find the problem. All he did was poke the modem once, the internet cut out, and he didn’t need to do anything else to figure it out. Literally all he had to do was touch the modem with the tip of his finger. 12 months. OVER 12 months, and not a single person bothered to think “maybe the modem is faulty”. He replaced the modem on the spot, and the cables just in case, and problem solved.

Telstra also refused to compensate us in any way for the 12+ months of pathetic internet service (we literally couldn’t even load Gmail at all) and disgusting customer service, so that was cool too, but whatever the problem was solved and that’s really all I wanted.

So here’s where the new nonsense starts.

Cut to about 6 months later with no problems and it’s time for hubby and I to get new mobile phones; our contracts are almost up and they sent us a message saying we could take advantage of their new swap and go lease where all we have to do is give our old phones back and we get brand new ones for $0. So we decided to head down to the local Telstra shop to get ourselves a couple of brand new Samsung S9s, because why not.

During the process I decided to go for the S9 Edge (hubby got the standard S9). I was little bit hesitant about it because it was an extra $20 a month and our bill with them was already quite big with our landline (which we never use but we have to have to get internet), internet and cable all being bundled through them. However, after looking at our account, the sales assistant (if I could remember his name I would 100% put him on blast right now but I can’t) looked through out account and said “I see you guys don’t use your landline at all, why don’t I drop that down to the $79 plan from $95 and you can make up the extra that way?”.

Now, pay attention because this is key the part right here.

Because we’ve had so many problems with Telstra in the past, I said to him “Will that affect anything else in the bundle?” and his reply was, and again I quote, “Nope, it’ll just drop your landline bundle so that you don’t have as much calls available each month but you never use it so that should be fine.” Alright, cool, we changed everything over and went on our way, happy with our new phones.

Oh how naive we were.

The next month when the bill arrives... it’s almost twice would it should be! We were expecting a large bill because hubby’s phone screen was cracked and they had to charge us for that, but not THAT big a bill! But, we weren’t able to access the bill online for some reason so we ended up having to ring them to find out wtf was going on.

Turns out sales douche didn’t change our landline plan, no no, he added it on top of the already existing one! So they were trying to not only charge us for the old $99 plan, but the new $79 one too, as though we had two landlines in the house! It was also during this phone call that we found out that, contrary to what sales douche told us, our internet HAD been affect by the change in plan; it went from unlimited data usage to 1500gb a month. That may not seem like a big deal, and it’s not really because we never even use that much, but when someone tells you a change isn’t going to affect anything; you believe them! But again, whatever, the problem was solved, the charge for the extra landline was removed from our account and we paid the bill.

It was also during this call that we decided to cancel our cable TV. We never watch it and it’s just a waste of money, so we told them to cut it off and we sent the box back.

Cut to another month later, and our bill comes again... or rather it doesn’t. We get a notification saying the bill is ready to be viewed and we can see the total — WHICH IS WRONG AGAIN — but yet again, we can’t access the actual bill to see why it’s wrong. Another call, another “oh dear, we forgot to remove the charge for the cable” and it’s “fixed” again.

Are you seeing the pattern yet?

At this point, I’m beginning to feel sorry for the poor people who have unwittingly set up direct debits with Telstra and don’t bother to look at their bills before they’re charged, how many of those poor people have been ripped off by these arseholes this way?

So about a week ago I get another notification telling me this month’s bill is ready ... and we can’t access the full bill again. And yet again it’s wrong! They STILL haven’t taken off the cable even though we cancelled it and sent the box back almost two months ago. Why am I not surprised? It seems another call is in order and hell, while we’re at it, why don’t we find out why tf we can never seem to access our bill and also complain about the slowness of the internet that’s happening yet again the past few months.

Here’s where it get hilariously fucking annoying and aggravating...

Turns out the reason we can’t access our bills everyone month is because of something sales douche did when he was changing our plan. No one knows what he did or how he managed to fuck it up so badly, but whenever the automated process that handles credits tries to credit off the cable every month it can’t and then it keeps getting stuck in a loop of trying to fix itself and I keep getting notifications saying the bill is ready when it’s not.

Oh but it gets better... remember when sales douche said dropping the landline down to the lower plan wouldn’t affect anything else on our account, just the landline? Lies. Utter lies. Not only did it drop back our data allowance as I mentioned before... BUT IT ALSO DROPPED OUR CONNECTION TO A LOWER SPEED! Now, call me crazy but that seems like it’s affecting more than the landline doesn’t it? I’m pretty certain during the hours it took him to set up our new phones I even told him about all the issues we’d had with Telstra in the past and that the reason I wanted the Galaxy S9 Edge was because it came with a larger data plan, which I needed because our home connection was too slow to stream. I’d like to know in what universe he thought we would be ok with dropping our fucking connection speed!? Was he high!? Or was he just like every other damn Telstra employee who knows sweet fuck all about what they’re talking about because the company is a piece of shit? That sounds about right to me.

So now, we can either deal with the slower speed, or we can pay an extra $10 a month to go onto a faster speed that claims it will give us up to 45mbps which sounds fantastic because that’s like 4x the speed we had before all of this BUT if you’re Australian you’ll know that that “UP TO” part is a key marketing strategy with Telstra. Sure you MIGHT get up to that speed... if you live in the middle of a large city or right on top of an exchange, but even then it’s highly unlikely. No one EVER gets the speeds they’re promised from Telstra.

Now I know what you’re thinking, why not ditch Telstra and go with a different provider? Oh, my sweet summer child, if only it were that simple. Telstra is the largest communications industry in Australia and as shocking as it may be to believe, Telstra is the most reliable of all of them all. Their cell service has better range than any of them (which is important when you live in a rural area like we do) and even if we went with another company, there would be no guarantee we’d get a more stable internet connection because Telstra literally own all of the lines and the other companies simply rent them. There’s a reason you might hear many Australians complain about the internet, and that’s because Australia literally has worse internet than some third-world countries and we pay through the nose for it.

I did warn you about it being a long one didn’t I? lol So all we can do now is wait and see if the this supposedly faster 45mbps is actually what they say and go from there and if it’s not... someone is going to lose an eye.

#rant #personal

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achildoftheivy-blog · 6 years

Text

Chapter 7: Her - The Sun Also Sets

If you haven’t already, go back and read Chapter 6 for the more positive and sunny blog the beginnings of my relationship with my ex-wife. Stay here for the difficult and dark endings.

When I was writing Chapter 6, I didn’t realize how hard it would be to do. Not that it’s because of a failed marriage and having to go back to the good ol’ days, it’s that the bad days of the past year have completely overtaken my memories of the good. I really wish I could have wrote twice as much as I did, but I just can’t remember much anymore. Not only does it seem like those moment were a different life time ago, it seems like it was with an entirely different person. And that’s generally how these stories of past love begins to end.

I don’t know exactly when it happened, but it’s just one of those things where you look around you and you know you’re trapped in the middle of the perfect storm. Shifts in careers, finances, life changes, and whatever other little things get pile on top just hit you all at once. And I’ll probably reiterate this more than once, but I think the main downfall of this relationship was the lack of communication. We were both independent stubborn proud people who, at the end of the day, just tried to do too much by ourselves without confiding in the other person.

So start off, you need to know that she has been working towards becoming a lighting tech and rigging for concert . She started doing stage hand stuff, to managing a musical performance facility to actually getting to rig and do a little hands of lighting tech for some tours. Some of this involves climbing very high up and locking yourself with a safety rope while you pull up lights and attach them to the beams. Needless to say, a woman in this field doesn’t get much positive support from her peers or in this case and in addition to her mother. She would come to me angry or crying about what her mother said and I would do everything I could to emotionally get her back to good. So I was one of the very few people to push her towards her dream of achieving this career goal.

I made sure that she had every opportunity to do what she felt like she needed to do. I took care of the house duties, the pets, the finances, all on top of my full time job and my pursuit of my career goals. She didn’t have to worry about dirty dishes, or laundry, or house cleanliness, or mowing, or paying the bills. I had everything under control so she could go off for weeks at a time to get that chance at her dream.

After a while of this, I was starting to wear down. Not only were the everyday grind of keeping up with everything, but our finances got hit hard when she didn’t properly budget her taxes. She is considered a contract employee, so when she gets paid she needs to take taxes out herself, because when tax time comes she knows she will have to owe a whole years worth of taxes. She never did this, so when we filed together I was stuck with her couple thousand dollar tax bill. She never had the money to cover it, so it was up to me to sell my stuff or find means to get some extra income. She never really ended up having to sacrifice to try to pay it off as much as I did. I think she knew I would just take care of the majority of it. It got really bad when our tax accountant misfiled some paperwork and we had the IRS claiming more money from the previous year ON TOP on the current year’s owings. Again, I sold a bunch of my stuff to try to make up the difference and I got really mad that she wasn’t going as far as me as to try to repay this bill. Her excuse of I just don’t have enough money wasn’t good enough for me. The person who was giving up their stuff and had to eventually and embarrassingly go to his parents for help at the last second. She just didn’t care and she mentally checked out of the relationship.

That is one of the hard to grasp things I have been trying to deal with. I cared too much and she didn’t care at all. I was trying to help someone who didn’t want the help, but all I ever wanted to do was help.

So with finances placing a burden on our lives, her always traveling and being distant in general, the daily life of trying to keep a house up and running, on top of me trying to work a full time job for steady income and trying to work on a film career there was a lot going on. So more stuff obviously had to be piled on.

I had a career move my work. I was mainly doing some digital marketing stuff, but then I was put in charge of the IT department on top of that. Ok, I know a few things about computers, but I definitely wouldn’t call myself IT department material. But I went with the challenge anyway for the raise and I tried my best. If you don’t know IT is not a glorious job. The only time people want to talk to you is when something is wrong and they want to complain. So I started getting that all day long and then I would come home to someone who would rather be rigging else or not there at all. I felt extremely frustrated and lonely and unwanted. I was beaten down and I went into a massive depression.

I started not caring and I started to be aloof just to show her what she was doing to me. How she was making me feel. All that did was probably make her more happier I wasn’t bothering her. As long as I paid the bills and took care of the house, she could tolerate me. She couldn’t tolerate going out anywhere with me to eat or concerts or family vacations. But she’d go out of her way to hang out with her work people. She’s quit posting on social media about me and post lovingly about other people. Up to that point I couldn’t remember the last time she said she loved me. She started talking to other people on the phone late at night for hours and discreetly. She said it was only work talk, but it wasn’t. She’d nextflix and chill over the phone. She was literally watching tv with another dude while I was in the other room by myself. If I tried to intervene, she would simply leave the room in disgust or leave the house and go into the car to continue the conversation. I drowned more into depression.

Then one day she decided to get a puppy, Merle. I think it was her emotional support or whatever that wasn’t me. It was actually really nice for a little while and we did all seem to get a long. But again, she didn’t want to put in the work for the puppy. She ran away from her problems back to Atlanta to hang out with her friends and MAYBE work there, while again I was having the burden of finances and the house and now a puppy.

I love Merle. She may have brought him into the house, but I raised him. I was there for him. I never ran away. It was a difficult time to add puppy expenses to the taxes that was owed, but I had nothing but love to give him. I did my best to train him. While he was a month or two old and being crate trained, I stayed up with him on work nights easing his cries and letting him know he’s not alone so she could get a good nights sleep. I am the one who researched the best ways to train and provide a healthy and safe atmosphere for Merle. . I exercised him everyday and played with him EVERYDAY. I made countless runs to the pet store and every time I go in for food I always took way too long in the bone and toy section wanting to pick out the perfect surprise. I was there for him to make sure he was cared for and he was there for me to fill up a part of my heart that was starting to break for her.

Shit started to really hit the fan this past spring/summer. There had been little talk about our relationship and how it felt off. It was more of my concern than hers. She simple brushed it off and said it’s fine. But, it couldn’t have been fine. It went as far as her resisting my hugs or I her not wanting me to cook her dinner. She was denying everything I wanted to do for her.

It was around this time I figured she was probably cheating on me. She said she never did, but I just still feel like my instinct said she was. And if she wasn’t cheating on my by sleeping with someone else, she was definitely cheating on my emotionally with other people.

One saturday morning she got out of bed and just left the house. She said she had stuff to do and wouldn’t go into more detail than that. Still in a state of depression and anxiety my mind just went wild. I’m thinking, this is it. She is really cheating on me. So I try to call her and text to see where see was and she was ignoring me. I was having a MASSIVE mental breakdown. I was freaking out.

I decided to head to the church since it had to be clean and I would try to get her there to clean it with me. Again, I kept calling and calling and texting. She finally answered back and I told her I needed her. That we need to talk and clean the church and I just need her to be with me. She said she was getting a cup of coffee and she’ll go to the church. I waited close to one hour. She didn’t rush to me when I needed her the most. My heart sank, her actions spoke loudly and she broke me.

I texted her a goodbye note and I left the keys to the car I was driving on the steps of the church. I had a punch of pain pills and flu pills that I took from the care. I didn’t know if that would be enough to do I wanted to do, but I was thinking I just wanted it to end. She was my life. I started to walk back behind the church and onto the trail that leads to a creek in the woods.

She finally shows up. I keep walking. She follows me and I keep walking. She yells at me. I keep walking I don’t know what to do. I have already made up my mind and I can’t handle whatever she has to say to me. My body finally gives up and I fall to the ground.

She says she doesn’t love me anymore. She hasn’t loved me for a long time. She says I don’t make her life better or happier. That all the career changes and decisions she has made was trying to see if it would make her happier and still be with me. It hadn’t. She still says she hasn’t cheated on me, but I can tell in the hesitation in her voice that she just didn’t want to exasperate the situation.

We leave in separate cars and everything from then on is separate. She really can’t stand being with me. She leaves for Atlanta to get away and get some space. Now I really am alone to take care of everything. When she finally does come back she doesn’t even want me sleeping in the same bed. So when she’s home I sleep on the living room floor. Even when she is completely done with me, it’s still within my nature to make sure she gets what she wants.

After a couple weeks of this routine, I’ve had enough. Mainly a bad sleeping situation on top of every fucking other thing drove me to do the craziest thing ever. I had the audacity to sleep in my own bed for one night. She came back home after working and and opened the door to the bedroom to so me there.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“YOU REALLY NEED TO GET OUT OF MY BED!”

I stand my ground

“FINE, I’LL GO FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO SLEEP”

Her yelling breaks me. I hate hate hate her feeling like this. All I ever wanted was to make her happy and I’m just creating all this chaos. And the last thing I wanted to do was drive her away even more, especially if it’s her going to sleep with someone else. So after much more fighting and arguing, I let her have to bed and I get my things and head to my parents at 1am. That was the morning we officially separated and there was no going back. Less than 6 days away from our 6 year wedding anniversary.

Since the end of June I had been staying at my parent’s place, dealing with the emotional hell and the extreme depression and overwhelming anxiety.

Today is December 9th, I just spent my first night in my new place. She has moved on, I can finally move on. She’s not the same person I shared amish gummy bears with while skipping class 10 years ago. She’s an entirely different person that doesn’t need, want, or care for want I have to offer.

I’ve got some really good memories that I’ll was cherished, because I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them. But I also had to deal with some horrible life lessons that I wouldn’t be the man I am today with them.

So the sun has set. If you are patient and you love and you care and you give and you show empathy, at some point...when you least expect it, you’ll get the glimpse of an emerging sunrise. But right now, I’m creating my own light and I’ll let life decide when the sun comes back up.

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