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#and it was like all my fault so as an apology i should kms or like cut 😭
mazzystargirl · 2 months
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ok living up to pinned post w some true confessions/dark secrets… so basically after i tried to kms in 2021 fall and went to the hospital i entered a really intense slut era and like started impulsively spending money and stuff too and i didnt have a job so i was like oh omg having a sugar daddy would work out really well for me and also i wanted to do things that would be like damaging or whatever idk why i did it rly. but anyway i engaged in some sugar baby behaviors. and then that winter break i went home from school and met up w some of my friends who ive known since i was a kid. now i have to give a little bit of context here cuz its important. so i have these 3 friends, one of whom ive known since i was 3 years old (N) and the other two since i was like 7 (S and J). and we all live in a very tight knit neighborhood/cultural community where mostly everyone knows everyone. and so my 3 friends parents know my parents. i guess you can see where this is going… but anyway i told them i had a sugar daddy or like it came up in conversation idk. and that was that. then literally the following AUGUSTTTT my mom comes to me and is like oh so some people in the neighborhood have been saying that you’ve been engaging in risky behaviors with older men and that youve been meeting them in hotels. so obviously i denied it very emphatically and tried to pry out who tf she heard that from and honestly i was like what like who could have even spread that and she said J’s mom told her and was lowkey rly cagey about it bc she didnt want to “break her daughter’s trust” and had asked other aunties about the situation like wtfff… and then i remembered i had mentioned to them over winter break so she must have fucking told her mommmm. i decided to assume best intent and chose to believe she was worried abt me and thats why she told her mom so i messaged her like hi did u tell ur mom abt this and i appreciate ur concern but i would have appreciated it if maybe u came to me directly and checked on me it would have been better and u lowkey hurt my feelings cuz now im stressed and anxious and don’t know whos saying what abt me etc etc. and then…
she fucking LIEDDDDD she said she didnt say anything to her mom AND that her mom didnt say anything to my mom!?? which i know is fucking bullshitttt 😭 like it makes 0 sense like if no one said anything is my mom just pulling shit out of the air and if she was how would she land straight on the money like that it just doesnt add up. so i was like um ok ?? uh have a good day. and decided to let it go and i lowkey don’t speak to her anymore and i told N and S that im not speaking to her but they can hang out w her if they want. and i forgot abt it.
but now i just moved back home after finishing school and its lowkey been eating away at me. it hurts me that she was my friend for 13 years and its all up in flames and i never got any closure or an apology or even her to admit or acknowledge the situation?? it hurts me to be at home worried abt what people are saying or thinking about me. i know i shouldnt care but what other people think of me bothers me. im not ashamed of myself and my choices but i don’t want other people to think less of me. i don’t want to reach out to her bc what if she doesn’t care at all about the situation ??? i don’t want to be like this has been eating at me forever and it really hurt me and her to be like what r u talking about i don’t think about you at all. she also just got into med school and im happy for her for real like glad shes doing well its just like. she hurt my feelings really bad :(
anyway if you read this far… what should i do 🥲 is the only path forward trying to let go… tbh i think i just need someone to validate my feelings like am i right to be hurt or is it all my fault and should i beg for forgiveness 😭 like my friend N got coffee w her a couple weeks ago and brought it up to me twice what does that even meannnn
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ilearhmajeste · 2 months
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lovecrazedpup · 2 years
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hm
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mychemicalflowers · 5 years
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lms iff u read this personal post
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80pairsofcrocs · 2 years
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baby scarab || 47
anon - OKAY OKAY HERE ME OUT
New Baby Scarb Chapter but,
EXTREME ANGST
(Not forced) anyway I will your BS series! It’s so good!:) I personally love angst and there is so much potential with BS angst- like the ideas are running laps in my mind lol, again you’re such a good writer and I hope that one day I could be as good as you!:)
~~~
anon - listen. HEAR ME OUT. im a sucker for deathfics. but, if the moonboys were to die id kms so what ab a NEAR death fic, like they were out on a mission or sumn and it went wrong
~~~
anon - marc wakes up and sees y/n and casper making out then goes right tf back to bed
~~~
anon - Can we get some more Casper content please? :)
~~~
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masterlist - marvel masterlist - series masterlist
A/N : angst? and fluff? idk
please enjoy, and don't be shy if you want to be in the taglist, just ask <3, sorry for the long wait
pairings : steven grant x (platonic)reader, marc spector x (platonic) reader, khonshu x (platonic)reader, jake lockley x (platonic)reader
TW : medicine (pills), spidey stuff, mentions of violence, language, nightmares, memory bank mentions, asylum mention, heavy mentions of child abuse, near death for major character, angst with a semi happy ending, making out :), the usual, let me know if i missed anything.
~~~
“open the door, come on you know he didn’t mean it” steven lightly knocks for what feels like the millionth time.
steven was there alone, marc had a tantrum and completely freaked out so jake had to take him up to the roof to get some air.
“then why did he say it?” you exclaim from the other side, making steven sigh.
it broke his heart to see you like this, so angry and betrayed at something he knows marc didn’t mean.
he heard you sobbing into your pillow a minute later when he couldn’t answer, and that’s when khonshu decided to help by unlocking the door, letting steven inside.
steven took a careful step in, seeing you curled up by the wall with a pillow tightly held in your grasp.
he sat down on the floor in front of you, waiting patiently until you calmed down enough to look at him.
and when you did, he gasped silently when he saw how red your eyes were and the fact you had to bite down on your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood to keep from crying.
“..did he really think i was crazy?” you ask quietly and steven shakes his head.
“he’s never thought that” he starts. “he was just trying to deny the fact that he wanted to help you”
“maybe he’s right” you start, wiping the tears from your face. “maybe i am crazy”
“no, you’re not-“
“don’t even start with that. i have been taking medicine all my life so that i stay sane” you scoffs at yourself and wipe your nose on your sleeve.
“..what did you see in the memory bank?” steven asks hesitantly and you shake your head.
“i saw when marc called me crazy. and then a month later he regretted it” you tell him and he tilts his head.
“anything else?” he starts. “you should probably go talk to him-“
“his mother…” you start, making steven turn pale.
“she.. she hit him” you take a shaky breath.
“it wasn’t his fault” you say, your voice cracking at the end of your sentence.
“y/n, you need to-“
“wait why did i even see his memories? why was he looking at me like that when he woke up-?” you stop yourself and take another breath.
“he saw mine. didn’t he?” you rush to say, already getting up while steven puts a hand on your shoulder to steady your slightly swaying form.
you felt dizzy for a moment when you got up, and pat steven’s hand when you were better.
“what did he see? i-“
“darling please calm down, i-“
you grab steven by the shoulders. “no steven! i need to know what he saw” you grit your teeth and let go of him, muttering apologies as steven guides you outside your room.
“let me help you to the roof, i think you two need to talk” he says quietly and you nod, leaving the pillow in the middle of the living room.
~~~
“you don’t understand jake-“
“yes i do. i saw it. i was there” jake says shortly and marc scoffs.
“you’re weren’t there- you were just-“
“watching.”
“exactly- and i didn’t even think she was crazy- i- i just-“
the rooftops door opens, revealing you and steven, marc noticing how you shivered when the first gust of wind hit you.
you stood slightly in front of steven, who had his arm out behind you in case you chickened out to hide back down in your room.
he knew you needed to just talk it out with marc, and have him explain what exactly happened and what he was feeling when he said what he did.
jake claps marc on the shoulder before moving quickly past you and steven to go back inside.
you stare at marc for a second before steven ushers you forward, so you walk to marc while he takes careful steps to you as well.
he takes you in a gentle, one sided hug while steven nods to him and leaves as well.
“marc” you murmur, gently pushing him back so you could go sit on the couch steven had found a couple days back.
it was a rarely cloudy night in london, and there was a light breeze so you weren’t too hot or too cold.
“what did you see?” you ask him once he sits down next to you.
he thinks for a second before you ask again more firmly.
“marc. what did you see?” your voice cracks at the end of your sentence.
“your first home” he starts, and you gasp quietly. “and when you found out about your schizophrenia” he ends it quietly.
“they gave me back because they were scared” you take in a shaky breath, and marc shakes his head.
“they thought i was a freak. when they adopted me i was normal, but then… the doctors proved us all wrong”
“you’re not a freak”
“well six months ago you did” you glare at him for a second before looking away.
“you.. i- i thought the dinner went well so i guess i was just surprised”
“it did go well, i just need you to listen to me for a minute, okay?” marc asks and you look at him while nodding slowly.
“i only said that because i didn’t want to admit to myself that a teenager i talked to for three hours already grew on me” he begins and you listen patiently with a bit of guilt building up.
“i didn’t want you to be involved with us, because of all khonshus work but obviously that plan didn’t go so well” he gestures to you sitting next to him.
“..if you just told me-“
“no- y/n you don’t understand- after you got so upset when i snapped at you i couldn’t bring myself to do it again. even if it was to apologize” he explains and you gulp, nodding.
it’s quiet for a moment before he decides to speak again.
“and i saw.. one of your families” he starts quietly and you brace yourself, not knowing which one he saw yet.
“you were dragged into the basement and that’s when it flashed a couple years forward” he explains and it sinks in which family he was talking about.
“that man.. he- he brought you to an asylum” his voice almost breaks at the end of his sentence while you nod and look away from him.
“i’m sorry” he tells you and you look back to him.
“for what?”
“for not being there” he shakes his head and stops you replying by putting a hand up.
“i know there was no way of knowing- but i really wish i could’ve raised you” the beginning of his rant surprised you, being honest.
you had no idea they felt that way, well, marc at least.
“we aren’t blood but you’re my kid, and as your father i wish i could’ve seen your first steps- or heard your first words- anything- but that doesn’t mean i haven’t loved being with you for the time i have”
“if that makes sense” he finishes and you lean over so that you can give him a side hug and bury your face in his shoulder while he rubs your back with one hand.
“marc i.. i saw something i wish i didn’t” you change the subject.
you take your head off his shoulder to see that he’s looking at you with fear in his eyes.
“it was my mother, wasn’t it?” he asks quickly and you hesitate in nodding.
“just forget about it” he murmurs and you nod without another word.
by the way he said it, you knew he wouldn’t talk about it no matter how much it bothered him.
“it wasn’t your fault” you whisper, not caring if he heard you or not.
but he did, and it showed.
he looked to you, fighting the tears in his eyes.
he just nods stiffly and take a breath.
“what was it like there?” he suddenly asks, making you hum in confusion.
“the uh… asylum” he continues.
“it was.. it was weird honestly” you start. “i was treated like i would shatter into a million pieces if someone said the wrong thing to me”
“i went from one pill to two, and i was mildly sedated every morning and at lunch” you trail off, talking a bit quieter.
“i hate that i fit in perfectly in there” you nod to yourself.
“in your defense you could fit in anywhere. and do you know why?” marc asks and you shake your head.
“because you are normal. as normal as it gets when you get bit by a radioactive spider, anyways” he shrugs and you feel yourself smile.
“i’m sorry i got mad at you. i should’ve let you explain” you tell marc, who makes a face.
“don’t be, you had every right to be mad. and i.. i apologize for what i said” he apologizes and you smile even wider.
you move closer to hug him again when jake and steven come rushing out onto the roof panting.
“guys- khonshu-“ steven starts before there’s a flash and when you open your eyes, they are both gone and panicking- well, you can hear them panicking.
“are they back?” you turn to marc who nods.
“there must be a mission”
“let me come with you” you say to him and he tilts his head.
“i don’t think-“
“come on please! it’ll be good practice!” you exclaim, and he sighs tiredly as the suit envelopes his body.
“fine- just listen to me, okay?” he questions and you nod, your own suit forming along with the mask.
“you have to promise us” marc tells you sternly before walking to the edge of the roof.
“i promise- you think i would mess this up?” you ask rhetorically, marc cocking his head before jumping off the roof, you doing the same and following him by swinging while he basically flies.
it’s about fifteen minutes later when he lands, you doing the same and taking a couple deep breaths.
“where… where are we?” you whisper to marc, who was looking around at the tall tower you were standing on.
yes, you and marc have landed on a tall tower.
“just wait” khonshu says from where he’s floating before he disappears again.
“for what?” you whisper into thin air, you and marc circling around while looking for anything suspicious.
you heard one twig snap in the distance, making you freeze, and just before you tell marc six people basically spear out of no where, attacking both you and marc.
three people for each you and marc.
it was a mess of punches and kicks with trying to keep the guys off of you.
you got hit in the nose pretty hard, and a sharp dagger grazed your ribs a couple times.
you shot web after web at them, and it was only when you pushed the last one off the building that you heard a pained gasp.
you turned around so hard you almost got whiplash, and you see the last remaining person shoving marc off the roof, and you noticed something shiny sticking out of his thigh.
you yelled all their names at the top of your lungs, sprinting towards the person to shove them off as well and leaping off the top of the tower after marc.
he was falling faster than you, so you shot a web down towards him, barely reaching him before he hit the ground.
once the web stuck to his chest, you shot another one out to the side, sticking to the building, stopping both yours and marc’s movements as you hang there, keeping yourself from falling while making sure marc doesn’t either.
you strain your muscles as you try to keep you and marc from falling to your deaths, trying to sway marc back and forth to try and wake him up.
“marc! please- wake up!” you feel tears brim your eyes, the mask fading off of you as an idea forms in your head.
you slowly lower yourself down, until marc is as a safe enough distance to try and drop him as gently as you can.
and once you do you drop down yourself, then rush through the grass to check his pulse, making sure the healing armor was doing its job.
and it did, khonshu explained to you once how sometimes the shock of an injury could make the user pass out, so as long as he had the armor he would only heal a little slower than usual.
you sigh in relief as that quickly turns into anger, seeing the man you pushed off the roof trying to crawl away.
you saw a hint of a scale tattoo on his forearm, making you clench your jaw as you angrily stomp over to him.
you lift him up by his collar and see the amusement in his eyes.
“who sent you?” you ask darkly, getting confused when he chuckles.
“hello miss harrow” he chuckles more and you take one of your hands off his collar to punch him in the face as hard as you can.
“why are you here?” you ask him, holding your fist out to hit him again if he didn’t give you an answer you liked.
“for you” 
another punch followed by you slamming him into the ground, being blinded by the color red while you beat the absolute shut out of this man.
punching and kicking and hitting until he takes his last breath.
and that’s when you freeze.
did you just kill that guy?
oh my god. you just killed someone.
you murdered a human being.
you blink, and when you open your eyes again you and marc are both back home.
“oh thank you khonshu” you whisper, moving to listen to marc’s heartbeat while he lays limp on the bed.
you wipe your tears and feel the suit leave your body, making you feel the ache of fighting.
you reach for your phone you left on the coffee table and dial the first number you found suitable for what you needed.
“y/n?”
“heyyyy buddy i need your help” you rasp out.
“it’s almost midnight- are you okay?” casper asks worriedly and you hum.
“just a little scraped up. you don’t have to-“
“no i’ll be there in five” he hangs up, making you scoff.
and literally five minutes later, there was a knock at the door, making you groan to get up and open it, revealing a worried casper you walks in.
“what happened? where does it hurt?” he asks you, stopping when he sees marc, a knife still embedded in his thigh.
“is he okay?” he asks shakily and you nod.
“yeah he’s fine it’ll just take a while” you answer, going to sit down on the couch.
he lets out a calming breath and gathers the proper items from the bathroom while you patiently wait on the couch.
“you really didn’t have to come all the way here” you start, casper sitting down next to you as he prepares an alcohol pad.
“i could’ve done this myself”
“you and i both know that you’re incapable of taking care of yourself” casper begins and you lift an eyebrow.
“that’s what i’m here for” he tells you smugly and you let out a breathy chuckle before he awkwardly takes another breath.
“where exactly are you injured? other than your obviously broken nose”
“my nose is broken?!” you exclaim, feeling you nose to realize it’s a bit crooked where it usually isn’t.
“don’t worry, it’s an easy fix- but where’s the blood?” he asks and you point to your abdomen before lifting your shirt up so that the three slices can be seen.
three clean slices, not too deep but enough to draw the sticky blood from underneath the skin.
casper’s focus though, was on the toned muscle of your stomach.
“when did you get ripped?” he asks and you make a face.
“that’s what steven said” you mutter before answering. “it was the spider”
casper nods and gently starts wiping the cuts clean with the alcohol pad, all while you look over at marc every couple minutes to make sure he’s still okay.
a lot has happened tonight. and very fast too.
casper finished cleaning the cuts and bandaging them expertly, so now you two were just sitting in silence until you broke it.
“what did i do to deserve you?” you ask out of the blue, making casper grin.
“what didn’t you do?” he retorts, making you smile as well.
it was like another flash, one moment you and casper weren’t even touching, and the next you were all over each other.
one hand in his hair and the other resting on his chest, where one of his hands was on the back of your head, gently pulling you towards him while the other rested gently on your waist.
you only broke apart to take a breath, and the second time you had to do that you decided to bring both your legs up to go on either sides of his, so that you were straddling his lap.
you deepened the kiss even more, each sides of your noses pressing against each other.
you felt casper gain confidence and swipe his tongue across your bottom lip, urging you to open your mouth.
you oblige without complaint, and the moment your tongues touch, you let out a quiet groan, letting whatever happened happen.
you felt casper slip his hand up your shirt, running his fingers along the healing cuts and scars from past injuries.
it was about to go further when you heard an annoyed groan, and that’s when you turned around to see marc making a face at you.
“i’m going the fuck back to sleep- jesus” marc mumbles, turning around and doing so.
you chuckle and press one more kiss to casper’s lips before getting off of him to go check on marc.
you gently lay a hand on his shoulder. “are you doing okay?”
“other than the knife inside me, yes” he mumbles, simply pulling it out and tossing it aside, the hole healing enough to not bleed out.
you sigh and nod, squeezing his shoulder as he drifted back off to sleep and you made your way back to casper.
“so” you start.
“where were we?” 
~~~
A/N : omfg i’m so so sorry my internet went out and i literally couldn’t even go on my tumblr for like 4 hours :(((
but hey i finished it and it’s very rushed so sorry about that but i hope you all like it <3
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The Time Between Us (7)
Chapter 7: Chains in my heart
I'M BACKKK
Firstly, I'm so so so sorry for disappearing for so long. I was in deep depression last year and finally have the guts to write again. I'm sorry.
There're many reasons, well, I feel bad of myself in everything: studying, works, family, friends,...I even felt my English has gone worse and I felt I shouldn't write anymore. It's been complicated. But I'm here now. I started reading books again, I've been doing some researches about fantasy worlds and many of them really did cheered me up.
Anyways have fun reading!
Words: 3k8
*gifs not mine
Links to other parts 1 2 3 4 5 6 
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“Erza! You’re okay!” Approaching Natsu and Erza is the blonde hair girl. She looks worried and terrified.
“Everyone was so worried for you.” The girl next to her cries. 
They all gather around the two, cheer up, cry and give each other tight hugs. Because Natsu and Erza are safe and reunite with their comrades, I return to my job to collect the Core of Tower of Heaven and erase its leftovers on the sea. By that no one from The Magic Council can find. As I’m nearly finish, a voice rings from behind.
“Hey.” I turn back and here comes the scarlet hair girl.
“Hi.” I say.
“Well I..we want to thank you for saving us.” She says as Natsu comes along. With his suspicious face, of course.
“It’s nothing. Things happened and I had to do what is right.” I smile.
“Don’t say that. At first I doubted, but….well, Natsu told me what you did when I fainted. I really appreciate your help. I think we can be friends.”
Friends? It’s been a long time since I heard that word. 3 years ago? I wonder why there’s a little bit of creepiness crawling under my skin when hearing that. Don’t even know if I’m worth to befriend with anyone anymore, after I deceived my only one.
“Yeah, I don’t know if we can. ” I keep rambling myself when the last piece of The Tower is collected and forms a ball of crumbs and ready to be sent to Hell through a hole opening in the ocean below.
“What are you doing?” The voice of the boy.
“Cleaning the mess.” I say. And when they give each other unknowing looks and then turn to me, I can’t hold my giggle. “It’s a long story of mine. But you don’t want to know, I assume. And for now you guys are no acquaintance to me as I am to you, our destiny is nothing outside this Tower. We helped each other to get out and it stops at that. Then we part ways. Just know that I’m no harm to you and we’re done.” I turn around and give them my goodbye, ready to leave.
“Wait, please.” Erza says. “At least let us treat you, you saved us and I won’t just walk away from anyone who did me a favor. In fact, I really appreciate what you did even though you said our destiny is nothing outside the Tower and I will regret a lot if you don’t let me return the favor, Lucerna. Destiny or not, our meeting means something and I know you’re a good person so let’s have some times to know each other.”
I sigh. If I let her, I will lose track of Jellal anytime, but even now looking for him when just getting out after years of capturing is a total challenge. They’ve fled and my power is still as crumble and uncontrolled as the fallen Tower. I need time to recollect myself anyways. Spending time with them seems not a bad idea after all, I need to regain my power and prepare for the mission. So I just nod and smile. But maybe to Erza and her comrades, that’s all they need to brighten up and come at me.
“Great! Now let’s get back to our place. I’m Lucy, Lucy Heartfilia. And you’re Lucerna right? Nice to meet you.” The blond hair girl pops out from nowhere and smiles friendly and gives out her hand. I shake it and smile back.
“Nice to meet you too, Lucy. I’m Lucerna. Lucerna Vandil.”
But to everyone’s dismay, they’re too tired to have a group chat after the fight so most of them sleep immediately after having a short meal. Especially Natsu, the blue cat and the dark hair boy Gray who I just get to know soon after. Despite the organized beds, they finish the meal and roll on the floor and then all I can hear is their snoring. And the girl names Juvia, she says something to Lucy and Erza and then disappears before I even have a glimpse of her. Only Lucy, Erza and I are still up. I ask.
“You two aren’t tired?”
“Yes, but not as these boys, we’re not as badly beaten up as them. Besides, I was in deep unconscious when Natsu got me out so I guess I rested enough. Just go sleep first. I’ll watch out for everyone.” Erza gives a nervous laugh. Lucy pats her shoulder and smiles.
“Don’t be like that. Everyone was so worried for you but we aren’t mad. You just keep on apologizing like that all the time?”
“No, but I’m… It’s my fault drowning myself in the Tower after all.” Erza says.
“Erza, I’m telling you again. This whole thing is no one’s fault. If there is, that’s because of those we faced in the Tower. They hurt you and we cannot let them do anything to you again. We’re friends remember?”. Lucy says while giving Erza her beautiful smile and what aches me more is that it reminds me about none other than the untold reminisce I failed to protect, which led me to the Tower.
Friends?
Is that what they usually have after getting through hard times together?
Until now seeing the friendship before me that I realize how badly and deeply The Power of Tower of Heaven have demolished my feeling for 3 years of being captured. Now I no longer feel like wanting to get to know anyone as letting them to get close to me. Close enough to know the real me that I’ve lost. Now I don’t know anymore. The only thing I need to do as soon as I get away from these people is finding Jellal and finish my mission and then return to the King. I should have----
“Lucerna!” A sudden voice wakes me from rolling in my own thoughts. It’s Lucy’s.
“Eh?”
“You were zoning out.” She laughs.
“My apologize. What did you ask me about?”
“I’m saying that since we don’t have more time until sunrise so why don’t we all rest for now? And then let’s have some time tomorrow? When will you have to go?” She yawn.
“When the first light of the day comes out.”
“That rush? Sorry that we took your time. I didn’t think we would be this worn out. I really want to spend more time with you and I even think about taking you for a walk to our place. It would be wonderful, if you don’t mind.”
I look at the clock. It’s already midnight. And both of the girls seem too exhausted to talk anymore. 
“I’m sorry but I really have to go. Please rest, you two. Or you won’t be able to get yourselves up tomorrow. We’re already exhausted.”
“Yeah you’re right.”
Erza turns off the lights. Then she comes lie next to me and before I close my eyes, she says.
“Hey. I know that we just met and you seem like don’t wanna share anything to us despite the fact that we talked the most all the time but,...well it’s okay, too. You can keep your secret. We don’t want to intrude your private memories. But please know that around us you don’t need to withdraw yourself. Just be yourself. We trust you because you helped us. We’re no enemies. So there’s nothing to worry about okay?”
She reaches out to me under the blanket and hold my hand.
“It’s terrible to know that you were captured in the Tower for like, 3 years? Those must be unforgettable memories. I understand because I was at that Tower too, when I was a child, until we broke free. And as you said Destiny led us back to The Tower for a mission and we met. But I’m glad you’re free now. I guess if you will leave soon at dawn, this is our goodbye.”
No, Erza. I’m not free. The chains in the Tower are broken, but the chains in my heart are not. Not now. Not ever when all my soul will soon belong to the demons. I’m a criminal and I don’t deserve all the love in this world.
“It happened in year X781.”
“What?”
I lower my voice only for her to hear.
“I did things I should not. I got many unrelated people involved in my wrong doings. And I betrayed a friend. All of that led to the reason why I was imprisoned and forced to work under their watch in order to create the Tower. Erza, you’re such a good person. But please don’t try to befriend me. You don’t know me. And I don’t know you. There’s something I really have to do after this. If not, I can never payback the sins in my past.”
“If you insist. But I still don’t see anything wrong to get close to you. I feel it. You saved us, Lucerna. And I’m definitely sure that’s deserve a life lasting friendship for us. I know that Natsu, Lucy, Happy and Gray would feel that too. So, if nothing bad happens and when you’re done, can we meet again? We’re mages of Fairy Tail in Magnolia. You know where to find us.”
“If we meet again. I’ll spend time with you guys.” I tighten our hands. “I’m glad we get to know each other.”
That’s true. If there’s another chance, I guess.
As expected, Jellal has fled. There’s only little of his scent left which is at 30 km from the previous placement of Tower of Heaven. In two days I follow his scent and when the city I stayed the night before is nowhere behind that I recognize I was led to the mountains in the northwest of Ishgar.
In those mountains, the weather is cold and air is so thin I can barely breath. I spend 2 hours searching for him around the place where his scent is the strongest but to my discomfort the scent is also as thin as the air and it keeps floating around instead of leading me to Jellal. Why is that?
There’s only a few hours left until all the air in my lungs disappear. Nightfall makes things harder. Geez. I breath slower and lighter while touching the earth below and speak.
Se kaló. Chaménes psychés
Here come the crumbling earth, shaking trees and flying souls of the death in the mountain. The souls, they know everything, but unknown to the world. I might ask them about Jellal.
When I was young and still living with my brother and the Dragons, I was scared and screamed my lungs out the first time my mother dragon showed me what people would be when they died. They become souls. Or people normally call “Ghost”, and my brother would always told me ghost stories just to scare the crap out of me. Mother Dragon said some souls find the right way and were taken to another life. But to some, they cannot let go of their past and become the white souls who still exist around us. The ghost in my brother’s stories are dark souls who sold themselves to the demons, they made contract to one or many of the demons so that they can have what they desire. But once they do, their soul cannot be free after death and they belong to the demons. Most people of the dark souls are mages because only the mages have power to summon demons. Those kind of souls exist for the only reason: scare the shit out of people and drain their lives to get stronger and become devils of Hell. Because of that the magic from dark souls are the most powerful. 
In Ishgar there are dragons born within the magic of the souls and can control the power of them. But those dragons are very rare and choosing the humans who will inherit their power and become Dragon Slayer is even harder. I don’t know why and when did my dragons find my brother and me. I just know that they raised us, Hibernis and Lucerna Vandil, the twin orphans, since we were born. And then one day when I tried the final level of Soul Magic I lost control and let the dark souls took over. I didn’t know what happened next. When I woke up they’re all gone. My parents and my big brother. It was when I was still 7 years old and never had been outside the forest we were living. Everything happened in year X777. I went everywhere to find him and our parents. I lost, I had no evidence of them. Finally I ran out of energy and food and ended up outside Redwoods Guild. One of the reason I chose to stay and work for the former Master is that he had the Power of Vision and can help me find my parents and brother, under one condition that I must work for him with all my loyalty. It’s stupid, I was stupid but at that time there’s nothing I wanted other than finding my family so I agreed with him. Then he showed me what inside the Eye. But there was darkness and blood smell. He told me that they died. I didn’t believe him and told him he was lying. But he showed me the day that I lost control and destroyed everything along with my family. I had to believe that because only I knew what happened that day. I had to believe him that I killed them. And for 6 years I was living in hell with guilt. And I---
“You’re drowning, Miss. Please wake up.”
I gasp and realize I was rambling to myself. Someone pats my shoulder and when I turn around I recognize a white soul is trying to give me some air because my lungs are dried. It says.
“Summoning the souls while you can’t control your breath is very risky, Miss Lucerna.”
“Thank you. And I’m sorry. I’m looking for a man names Jellal. His soul is tainted and he’s very powerful. He a mage using magic of the stars. ” I say.
“If you look for him here, then you’re lost. He’s left for a day.”
“What? But this place is reeked of him.”
“He was here. But he used magic so his scent remains as long as possible. He knows you’re tracking him. I’m sorry miss Lucerna. But the man you are looking for has returned to the magic Council. And his magic has disappeared ever since, he must have closed himself and been in deep slumber to maintain power. It’s impossible to track down Jellal right now, you shall wait until his magic awake again.” Another soul speak.
“GOD DAMN IT.” I groan. Great. Now that man is where I hate most. No one can enter The council and get out in one piece. Not when there are traps and guards every corner and even the members are ten times powerful than Jellal. I can’t risk myself.
“I understand. Thanks a lot. Apolýo.”
The light of the souls glow and then all disappears into dust.
I did not try to go to the Council. Not until my strength is still weak and can easily go berserk as that day. Instead I successfully found a big cave under the mountains where there’s a waterfall which flows from the outside. The fantastic thing is that this waterfall contains a large amount of energy which is surprisingly compatible with me. It must be from the souls of the mountains. I need to stay here and regain my magic. I have the Aspro Stone inside my body and for now it seems the stone’s power is yet to awake. I haven’t learned to adjust with it yet. I don’t know how. I don’t know what would I do if the Stone went exploded as before. Thinking about the incident 3 years ago, I still hate myself. It was terrible. Seriously terrible. Our plans got out of control, my power got out of control and everything led to devastation. If I let that happen again, I wonder what would I become.
I wonder where is Sting now. How has he been doing? How is he? He must be joining a guild. Or is he still traveling alone? Is there anyone beside him?
I miss him.
I miss my family. And Sting.
“If you let your emotion take over. You’ll lose control of yourself, Miss.”
“It’s you. I…I didn’t call you.” I open my eyes and see that they are slowly watering. I blink to get them away. The beautiful white soul that helped me lately is standing before me..
“I’m the oldest in these mountains and I speak for other souls. I died a long time ago, myself has become one with everything here. I can see things, hear things that happens here. I can appear whenever I want because I’m here to protect the mountains, Miss Lucerna. I know who you are and what you’re doing here.”
“I apologize for my rudeness. Please let me stay here for a while, I just got out after 3 years of captivating and this waterfall has the strongest healing power I’ve ever seen. It can heal me.”
“Of course. The waterfall of us contains a rich source of magic that flows through the mountains. Take a bath in the waterfall 3 times a week, your magic will return and much more powerful than before. That is when you keep practicing and making yourself stronger everyday, of course.”
I step into the pool under the waterfall. It is so warm and comfortable. I breath in and relax. After 3 years, this is the first time I feel safe and sound, every aching muscle is slowly coming to life. My back was really tense because of having hung in the wall for a long time, now I’m gradually relaxing.
“Thank you. You’re so kind to me. But why don’t you see me as a threat to your mountain?”
“Every soul can identify who the summoner is through their magic. Most of us used to serve your ancestors since the beginning of milleniums and we vowed to always keep taking care of their children until the world turns to dust. So any children of House Vandil and apprentices of Dornion and Senali The Twins Dragons of Heaven and Hell are welcomed here. Please make yourself at home. ”
It’s been forever since anyone talked about House Vandil, or mentioned the name of dragons that trained my brother and I. So hearing those names strikes me hard like thunder. I sit straight up, freezing despite the hot water and suddenly feel hard to breath.
“You know the Vandils and…and my---”
“I was a historian of your family. They’d ruled their lands spreading wide at the northeast of Ishgar since the dragons were still flying in the sky until hundred years after the Dragon Civil War first broke. Although I’m not expecting another Vandil still lasts these days, I’m surprised you have zero knowledge of your existence.”
This is criticism, isn’t it?
“My parents died when my brother and I were born. The Twin Dragons adopted us. But they never told me or my brother anything about our family. I don’t know we are relating to…some rulers of a country?” I admit.
“Well, dragons can live for centuries. Dornion and Senali had been adopted The Vandil kids and protected as part of the contract between them and the royal family. When War of Dragons began, they continued raising the soon to be rulers until one day the tables turned and your homelands became battle fields. The castle exploded when a dragon blew a huge fireball, no one did survive.”
“But my parents… they lived.”
“And that’s what surprised me. The war happened 400 years ago. Maybe the Twin successfully saved some kids and took care of them in private so the bloodline of House Vandil could be descended. They could’ve protected the later generations until you. They surely loved humans more than any dragons ever did.”
Overwhelmed by the story the soul just shared, I stay in deep silence. I wonder why Dornion and Senali never mentioned this before. Does Hibernis know about this?
“Your story…it’s…”
“Unbelievable?”
“No, of course not. Souls talk from their hearts. I believe you. Actually, I’ve never ever imagined what my family in blood would be like. The dragons told me my parents passed away because of illness and they found us in a dying village. And that’s all. I never…wondered where did my last name come from. I never wondered who they were and now you saying makes me confused, or kinda feeling bad about it. Perhaps because I was happy I’ve already had the dragons and my brother as my family so I never questioned them about House Vandil. But still, I should have, right?”
“You weren’t even born when everything happened so do not feel bad when no one told you, I think they might have reasons. I died a historian and I’ll forever be a historian so, being a spirit or not, my job is telling the truth of history. When House Vandil officially vanished out of the monarch list, I was also dead. So everything I told you about the dragons raising the surviving kids is just me hypothesizing the events by connecting everything I know about The Twin Dragons and House Vandil. They could be wrong, anything can happens, there’s still mysteries to reveal, you know. However, I’m glad a young blood of Vandil still survives today.”
“Thanks. I appreciate what you’ve decided to tell me. What should I address you, Sir…?”
“The dead have no name. But in my whole life I was known as Adorellan Miadithas, I served King Aithlin Vandil, our last and mightiest king of the centuries. We vowed to fight for Atheton, for Kathania Dryas. We vowed to protect our country as long as we can, whether we live or die. We promised to speak the truth and tell our stories to the later generation. We promised to forever be protective to our people, be faithful in love and be loyal in friendship. Today we found a descendant, and we shall transfer promises with our latest king to the one. Lucerna Vandil, apprentice of Dornion and Senali the Twin Dragons of Heaven and Hell. Our homeland was gone, but our people fought till the end. No matter where you are, what you do, do not forget who we are, what we believe and our identity. Please pass this message to the next generation.”
And then, the mountain spirit disappears. And until 3 days later when I regained my magic and ready to leave, he’s not available anymore.
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hobiwonder · 5 years
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Commissions
Hi everyone!! 
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As you can tell by the title, I’m going to be opening commissions. As my part-time job starts up in January, I have decided to try making writing my casual job to earn some savings before I run out completely. It’s quite expensive in Australia especially to be a student without a job lol. I am actively applying for summer jobs but it’s a fat chance i’ll get hired this late for christmas casuals !!! (kms). I had been thinking about getting a ko-fi page but never felt my writing to be good enough lol BUT desperate times call for desperate measures hhhhhh.
So if you enjoy my writing, I’ll be writing personalised little stories for a ko-fi each. Doesn’t matter how many you want to give (one is $3). 
The drabbles will be between 1000 to 2000 words. 
Send me an ask choosing your prompt from the prompt list below. You can choose as many as you like and i will try my best to incorporate them all if they fit in one story.
Basically let me know in an ask: Prompt, Your name (if you want), any triggers I should avoid, physical appearance details in case I need them, age. Birth year is fine. AND THE MEMBER OFC LMAO
If you don’t like a prompt, you can also just give me a genre and i can surprise you :) (college au, barista au, etc.)
Write a nickname or a name in your ko-fi note so I can identify you and get started writing on your prompt. https://ko-fi.com/hobiwonder
Prompt list:
“That’s not yours.”
“Rot in hell.”
“Take off your shirt.”
“Ugh, you’re sweaty- get off.”
“Can we just pretend like we’re normal for once?”
“I dare you!”
“A kiss for good luck?”
“Just this once.”
“There’s something I have to tell you…”
“You’re making me think that what they told me about you was right.”
“Don’t get up, you’ll make it worse.”
“Cute, but still fucked up.”
“I’m not drunk enough for this.”
“Be careful.”
“You owe me.”
“You never mattered to me.”
“Please don’t let me be alone.”
“How did you talk me into this?”
“That’s not good…”
“Don’t try to fix me. I’m not broken.”
“You’re cold.”
“Be you. No one else can.”
“You’re a horrible liar. I’ve known you far too long to be able to tell.”
“Don’t think I forgot about what you did last time.”
“I’m scared.”
“When was the last time you slept?”
“I’ll never forgive you.”
“Quit ignoring me.”
“You have my word.”
“Kiss me and i’ll forgive you.”
“I never wanted to hurt you.”
“There’s nothing I can do anymore.”
“Even when you’re annoying the fuck out of me, I still love you.”
“I’m just looking out for you.”
“I told you not to fall in love with me.”
“Why are you so stubborn?”
“It was supposed to be a secret!”
“You’re my everything.”
“You need to keep pressure on it.”
“It’s never too late to get back up again.”
“I can’t breathe.”
“Stop talking.”
“This isn’t like you.”
“This isn’t who I am.”
“Would you just hold still?”
“If I die, I’m never speaking to you again.”
“I don’t know who you are anymore.”
“Come with me.”
“My clothes look good on you.”
“I will always protect you.”
“Wake up, please.”
“Please look at me.”
“When I’m with you, I’m home.”
“I never meant to hurt you.”
“Eyes on me.”
“Please shut up. Just shut up.”
“I’m tired, just cuddle me.”
“This is new.”
“I’m not okay.”
“Is that blood?”
“Run!”
“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”
“That’s a lot of blood…”
“I immediately regret this decision.”
“You’re hurt, let me help.”
“That doesn’t look good…”
“Is that my shirt?”
“How did we get in this mess?”
“Move over.”
“What if one day I wake up and you’re not there?”
“You know me better than anyone.”
“You backstabber!”
“What happened to you?”
“stop moving, i’m almost done!”
“Are you testing me?”
“Please don’t shut me out.”
“You make me forget.”
“Just leave me alone.”
“I’m not moving, your lap is comfortable.”
“Just this once.”
“I made a mistake.”
“I SAW you with him/her/them!”
“None of this is your fault.”
“It’s so hot out!”
“Just breath.”
“We have to help!”
“I just really miss talking to you.”
“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“I trust you.”
“Are you serious?”
“I’d like to see you try.”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Look at me.”
“I can’t sleep.”
“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”
“They’re gone.”
“It just… hurts.”
“I think we’re lost.”
“You deserve so much better.”
“I knew this was a bad idea.”
“I’m lost without you.”
“This is going to hurt.”
“I feel stupid.”
“I know you’re not talking to me…”
“What’s in it for me?”
“You’re everything to me.”
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“I didn’t want you to see this.”
“You’re safe now.”
“Are you going to talk to me?”
“You know me too well.”
“[text read thirty minutes ago]”
“I never want to see you again.”
“I know you lied to me.”
“Do you promise?”
“You know i’m not like that.”
“Am I dead?”
“It’s not what it looks like.”
“Do you ever mean the things you say?”
“I can take care of myself just fine.”
“You got this.”
“What are you hiding?”
“There is nothing wrong with you.”
“You’re sick.”
“I don’t know anyone else who can make me feel this way.”
“There is only one bed.”
“I can’t see anything.”
“How dare you?!”
“I’m sorry I scared you, I didn’t mean to.”
“I’m not even sorry.”
“can we just stay in bed?”
“That was kind of hot.”
“But I thought you liked this?”
“You… you never had a problem with it before.”
“I know it hurts.”
“What did you say?”
“How long will this go on for?”
“I’m just tired.”
“What have you’ve done?”
“Go back to sleep.”
More Prompts...:
Angst
“All I wanted was a happy ending.”
“Mistakes are easily made in the moment. Apologies are not.”
“I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
“My emotions have been turbulent for so long, I’m not sure how to react.”
“My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away.”
“I don’t want material belongings! I want my heart back!”
“Until you can return the time I wasted on you, I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“Grief is natural they say. So is death. I don’t want either.”
“You can’t look pretty and dangerous at the same time. Not yet.”
“Kill everything dear to you and then you will know how it feels.”
“I don’t hold people close. It makes it easier for them to hurt you.”
“Don’t touch me. Your skin is poison.”
“Why won’t he/she/they call?”
“I’m dreading her/his/their call, I’m not ready.”
“I don’t like this, it feels weird.”
“Kill my feelings, kill my soul. Kill everything I am.”
“Don’t call me, I don’t want any contact with you.”
“Please don’t talk to me, I’m dealing with some stuff.”
“It’s not working out. We’re not working out.”
“Hey, I’m leaving for good. I’ll…see you around.”
Fluff
“I want to eat a yoghurt with you.”
“Can we make cake? I like cake.”
“I like your rainbow shoes.”
Please hold me. It’s been a day.”
“I’ve never felt such love.”
“The moon is high tonight, it frames you well.”
“I want to dance through an army of fireflies with you.”
“Stars pale in comparison to you.”
“My heart hurts when I see you and I find myself drunk on the pain.”
“I would give up everything for the chance to see your laugh again.”
“Monster Inc. was onto something, your smile and laughter runs my entire world.”
“I dedicated this nail to you, when I painted them.”
“All I want is to sleep by your side.”
“Cover me in badges of your love.”
“I’ve never enjoyed anything more than a hug from you.”
“You look yummy.”
“My hand was made to fit into yours. That’s all there is to it.”
“I didn’t get soaked wet through walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. I have beer too. I know you’re sad, so let me in.”
“This might sound so creepy but I want your skin. It’s so pretty.”
“You just dropped love into my heart and that’s all I needed.”
Soulmates
“It was a matter of time before we got together.”
“My soul sings when it feels you.”
“Please, please hold my hand, and make me whole.”
“My life missed yours forever.”
“If my soul had been cut in half at birth, it would have gone to you.”
“We’re two bodies with one soul only.”
“I couldn’t imagine my future without you now that I have you.”
“I feel like I’ve died now he’s/she’s/they’re gone.”
“Please take my soul and never let go.”
“I’ve never seen colour like I do with you.”
“All my soul yearns for is your presence.”
“We can’t win. Either I have you and my soul sings but your cries, or we’re apart and your soul rejoices but mine dies.”
“Time is what we don’t have, but you are what I need.”
“I didn’t think I could find someone as perfectly matched as you.”
“Please treat me with kid gloves, my soul can’t take much more.”
“Soulmates don’t have to be romantic. Sometimes your soul resonates with a friend.”
“This existence would mean little without you.”
“Why try to force it? If we’re truly soulmates, it’ll happen.”
“Please keep me close until the close of the final day.”
“Everything about you is amazing to me.”
Friendship Specifically
“Wow, that is a ridiculously bug watermelon. I love it.”
“Let’s drink wine and trash talk our co-workers.”
“What do you mean you’re sick?! You’re my partner in crime!”
Best friends are a rare breed and you are the best of best friends.”
“Everyone’s out on dates, want to each ice cream and binge watch (insert TV show/movie).”
“I’m here for you. I got your back.”
“Thank God for the internet. I don’t know how I’d live without you.”
“I’m the pun-master, you’ll miss me when I’m gone.”
“No one understands the effort of a long distant friendship.”
“They don’t approve of our friendship, but I don’t need them too.”
“In the end we migrate towards comfort. I am my most comfortable around you.”
“Why date when you can spend the night with me watching shitty TV and drinking.”
“Never underestimate friendship.”
“If you quote Yu-Gi-Oh’s power of friendship one more time I will kill you.”
“Even if we don’t talk for days, I’ll always be your best friend.”
“You can take as many breaks as you need.”
“Friendships can be difficult, but those that survive are magical ones.”
“You know I will be with you forever. Friends until the end.”
If they try to keep us apart, they’re idiots.”
“There’s nothing like a boys/girls/friends night.”
I would really appreciate anyone helping out. My writing definitely isn’t the best but i hope whatever I write for any of you; you will enjoy and feel it will be worth it. Even if you’re not interested, a reblog would be much appreciated!! 
Thank you :)
Maria <3
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S3e10 Thoughts....
We got a KISS and I cant be more excited about it all, I love it... but i also have little bit of criticism.... I'm sorry
I just feel like it wasn't emotional enough, I think Anne would be bit more over the moon and Gilbert should look a little happier, yes we got few smiles but I was hoping for a very tight hug goodbye accompanied with bit more of talking at the same time and being a bit more awkward as it was their first kiss after all...
I absolutly adore the scenes where they ware both running for their destiny, I could imagine that would be their exact reaction after reading them damn letters. Oh Anne would absolutely love Gilbert's letter, it was so beautiful...
Also I adore the fact he did not left the letter o the table or somewhere, he went to Anne's room, he saw her in the window and figured out which room is hers and oh may oh may what a beautiful scene that was. Gilbert admiring Anne's detailed room, his smile said it itself, he loves her more than anything admire her character and imagination. All the flowers and little details... also there was a shell right next to where he left his letter which I found so cute coz that was one of the reasons he decided to split things up with Winfred... speaking of, I feel so bad for smiling like crazy while she was crying and worrying about her reputation, bless her it's not her fault.
Cuthberts was my absolute favourites in this episode, Matthew's broken heart over Anne's leaving, Marila being so excited for Anne, I think she secretly knew Anne is sad because of Gilbert and wanted to make things better hence why massive shopping and trying her best to make Anne as happy as possible..
Matthew crying, then his apology to Anne and saying it out loud he loves her, I cried so much during this episode. They are sucha beach family, Anne truly brought all the love into their lives, its precious to see them care so deeply for eachother. Also their little trip to this old lady house, determination to find something for Anne, that was heartwarming.
Also... gilbert still haven't say
I LOVE YOU...
I mean a kiss obviously shows he does but ibwas so hoping they will start talking together and echo eachothers "I'm in love with you" it would be sucha relief I think for both of them to say it out loud to each other... but hey we HOPEFULLY going to get entire next season to see all the LOOOOOVE we can get from them...
Diana was absolutely great, km so glad she was the one to have a go at Gilbert... if it wasnt for her he would left and we would wait another few years for them to actually realise they do indeed love each other... silly...
Anyways... about the kisses... what I absolutely loved is that we literally just herd the rules about suitors visiting only on Saturday between certain hours... and here we have Anne and Gilbert kissing in a garden, not once not twice but 3 times....
What I also love that Anne kissed him back and the way he pulled her closer, thatvwasvpassion rith there, first kiss was eager but delicate, beautiful and meaningful... but then when Anne kissed him back he let go whatever was holding him back, pull her closer to him, his back arched and you could see hes so into her...
Then my absolute favourite is when he sat, looked at her and felt morish and jumped out in a beautiful manner power walked with a smile and kissed her few times with a smile, Diana standing there looking a bit shocked as probably did not expected them breaking the rules and kissing all in open... in front of her father...
But once you have this first kiss behind, you want more and let's be honest that's all you want to do, all you can think of, I can not wait to see them running into eachothers arms after long time away...
I want them to break few more rules.. like when they having a school break and knows they only have like week together I want them to sneak out at night and loe down under the stars talking, playing with eachothers hair... enjoying this love...
Anyways.. that's it.. now netflix on repeat until January the 3rd ughh
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paulinedorchester · 8 years
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Okay. To begin, this is a public apology to @mybelladuveen for flying off the handle at her, in front of all of you, a few hours ago. But I’d like to explain to you all why that happened.
All of the people I’m following appear to be reasonably intelligent adults. Even so, this was only the latest instance in which some immature nutcase with a blog on this site jumps on what is, in fact, a small, very predictable story (Montana’s Jewish population is about 1,000 people out of slightly more than 1 million in a state with a land area of 147,040 sq mi [380,800 sq km], and white supremacists have been active there for decades), decides that the whole world is coming to an end, and then . . . blames Tumblr? And then someone whom I’m following reblogs this irresponsible nonsense!? Really? People, please: the use of social media as a news source played a significant role in determining the outcome of the 2016 U.S. Presidential election. No one should be doing this - not even with real news.
The discourse that one finds on Tumblr finds about Judaism, Jewish life, etc., is, alas, rather consistently lacking in the qualities that lead some of us to think of Judaism as the Religion of Reason. (Be warned: the particular book referenced is a long, hard slog.) I once spent a surprisingly enjoyable afternoon rebutting several gross generalizations in something that @mercurygray had reblogged. It turned out to be a quite typical Tumblr post on the subject. It truly amazes me how many of the people blogging here about Judaism think that they, and only they, have it all figured out. They don’t; I don’t; nobody does. One thing that I do know, however, is that the most lasting damage done by the Holocaust is to have distorted too many people’s perception of Judaism (including that of many of my fellow Jews, I am very sorry to say), making it into something that is all about grief, death, and victimhood. It is anything but that.  Since I’m on this subject, I’m going to take a moment to correct something that I found on one such blogger’s “about me” page (I can’t remember now who the blogger was): when telescoped into English usage, the Hebrew nouns goy and goyim and the Yiddish adjective goyische are indeed pejorative - always. Don’t let anyone try to con you into believing otherwise.
Having said the forgoing: I have learned that this blog is most likely to succeed (in terms of my posts attracting notes and the like) when I stay on topic; but I am very puzzled - that’s one of putting it, at any rate - by the fact that my twelve Hanukah posts last month attracted a whopping grand total of ten notes. They were there for you to enjoy. To be honest, it makes me wonder whether this crowd is really as interested in diversity as it claims to be. I am part of the diversity, folks, remember that, please. (So are you.)
Gifs: what are they good for? Nothing! They’re annoying as hell! The more gifs there are near the top of my dashboard, the slower my dashboard is to load. Sometimes the gifs load out of order, then jump around (or about) correcting themselves. Sometimes they don’t load at all, leaving me scrolling through a bunch of white space punctuated by what look like weird URLs. Gifs suck like a Hoover. So what do I find but a gif smack in the middle of the post that I feel reluctantly compelled to reblog. Not good . . .
Finally, I had a very good time at the opera this afternoon (Mozart’s Die Zauberflöte - which actually works rather well as an allegory of my Sam/Andrew headcanon!), and then I came home, turned on my computer, went to Tumblr . . . and my good mood evaporated in a flash. But that isn’t anyone’s fault, and I shouldn’t have thrown a tantrum. My sincere apologies to you all. 
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Issues For Formulating A Trade Policy For Sri Lanka
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