#and it was even better than the pizza tbh

[halogalopaghost]

.

[mthevlamister]

would you consume the deep fried spaghetti prism?

I’m not a Fucking coward babe. Yes. This is like fried mac&cheese. It’s probs not my favorite, but I will indulge

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

Can u pretty please make daddy some Disney descendants headcanons and Rodrick Heffley too???

But kitten whiskers- I don’t do descendants….. BUT I WILL DO RODERICK

Roderick Heffley Hcs (General)

-he’s so bisexual you guys like actually in my brain he’s canonly bisexual

-he really likes getting his makeup done but pretends to hate it, like if you do it at first he’ll complain about you touching his face but love the feeling secretly and the result

-I feel like he has some really unnoticed trauma with how his parents treat him

-Greg gets to sort of be a brat and do whatever but I headcanon that maybe he thinks he’s really not good enough because his parents treat him like a delinquent

-everyone does, actually. His teachers, peers… imagine having that repeated over and over… eventually you just… believe it

-damn I didn’t mean to turn this angsty but yk it’s Roderick what do you expect

-He drinks milk from the carton (canon but honorable mention)

-I feel like he likes punk, emo, and rock music genres a lot and switches quite frequently between genres in his bands music

-also he’s a horrible driver (also canon but honorable mention)

-I also think he’s a horrible pedestrian, like he just doesn’t look before jaywalking

-absolutely the type to roast Greg about any music he listens to, unless Roderick likes it, then he will get some passive approval

-he thinks he looks a lot cooler than he does sometimes tbh, but honestly just has low self esteem due to his environment

-I don’t think he likes any veggies besides carrots unless they are on pizza, I just think he’s a picky eater lmao

-speaking of food he LOVES potato chips

-I think he’s not super informed on politics which can be annoying but sometimes he gets really into it which is nice to see, and if he had a partner he would let you rant about them

-I think he totally paints his nails, other colors than black too and doesn’t gaf if anyone has anything to say about that

-I think he really is a mamas boy at heart, I think even though they have more banter they get along a lot better than him and his dad

-but I feel like he thinks neither of his parents really understand him, and music is his way of coping with that sometimes

-if he hears someone talking about a band he loves he will get super duper excited but act disinterested so nobody thinks he’s uncool

-honestly just low damn self esteem and confidence, even if he pretends otherwise

-would have an amazing relationship with his brother if his brother would stop being a tattle tale 💀

-he gets paid around the neighborhood to do certain jobs like mowing grass or shoveling snow but he sucks at all his jobs, wether that’s being on time, or doing them in general, so most of the time Greg end up stealing his jobs

-the one subject he is surprisingly decent at is English- specifically reading comprehension. I feel like he has a lot of really interesting concepts but he doesn’t know how to word them correctly- and is too scared to anyway because he thinks no matter what he’s gonna sound stupid

-he has that one thing where there’s constant ringing in your ears from listening to music far too loud

-he lives for weird ass graphic tees and cool belts

-I feel like he likes some really niche bands and gets pissed whenever/if it ever goes mainstream- “I liked that before it was popular” 🤓☝️

-OKAY he does that thing where if a girl wear a band shirt he asks if she can even name five songs because he thinks it’s like flirty but it’s actually just annoying and he gets slapped for that

-The hygiene on this mf is disgraceful- only starts wearing deodorant AFTER he gets a partner

-one time he went out and got his ears pierced and probably now had some cool ass earrings

-even though he mains the drums he can play the bass and guitar pretty well

[toastedjeans]

Siren Tower AU!

I wanna keep this more on the silly side, but here's the basic gist of it.

There's a huge tower submerged in the ocean where many sirens and other sea creatures have found a home, and somehow humans have discovered it. They want to study and explore this tower, and the sirens are NOT happy about it, not wanting their home to be potentially destroyed. Pretty reasonable. But now, this random middle aged pizza baker somehow gets roped into this whole mess.

And here's the characters! (I tried to keep their heights accurate but idk if i succeeded)

And down there is some more info about everyone!

HUMANS (and Brick)

Peppino

He still has his pizzeria, but it's located a little closer to town. While business is slightly better than in game, he still has debts. But hey, he has his own apartment!! No more sleeping in the back of the pizzeria or on the floor!!

Peppino will sometimes just come to the shore or the port in the evening or at night to clear his head or be alone with his thoughts. Depressed guy. Will sometimes talk to himself when he thinks he's alone. He isn't necessarily afraid of the ocean, but because he can't swim, once he's in water the fear kicks in and he starts panicking.

He doesn't believe in sirens, mermaids, or other such creatures. Thinks they're just made up to tell scary stories of the sea. Jokes on him, he's about to meet the jolliest shark gnome man he's ever seen.

Brick

A gigantic rat that lives with Peppino, who didn't get a say in this. Just appeared one day, and no matter how many times Peppino tries to get rid of him, Brick always comes back. After a while Pep reluctantly accepts him and sometimes even takes him for a walk.

Brick actually loves to swim, but doesn't stay in the water for too long cause Pep won't join him. Like, he'll just leave if Brick stays too long. Kinda rude if you ask me.

Mr. Stick

Tax and debt collector, and a friend of Peppino. He often comes over for a pizza, then proceeds not to eat much, and rarely pays (he either says he's deducting it from Pep's debts or he lets someone else pay). He's kind of a piece of shit but outside of the whole money business he can be pretty nice.

He strikes me as a gambler tbh, either he's extremely lucky or extremely unlucky. Likes playing poker, and invites Peppino and Hazel to play after work from time to time.

Doesn't believe in sirens, but if he ever saw one he'd try to exploit it for money. He wouldn't kill it or anything though, mainly because he's too weak and he doesn't know how to handle guns.

Noisette / Hazel

She runs a little cafe near Peppino's pizzeria, and is good friends with him, but can sometimes be a little annoying. They hang out after work from time to time. When she notices that Peppino is having a rough day, she'll sometimes bring over a free cup of coffee or a slice of cake for him. Sometimes experiments with... interesting... food combinations, which are strangely popular.

She has loved mermaids and sirens since she was young and is very fond of them. Once she discovers they're real, she becomes even more fascinated and obsessed with them. You better believe she wanted to be a mermaid when she was young.

SIRENS

Gustavo

A little round shark man who is perfect in every way. He's curious and adventurous, and even though sirens and humans are enemies since, uh. A long time. He doesn't believe that humans are inherently evil. He'll help out whenever and however he can, but can get very aggressive when his friends or brethren are threatened. You will regret it if you anger him.

Noise annoys him often but they don't harm each other. He isn't really friends with Noise, but he will defend him if he's threatened or attacked.

One day he saves Peppino from drowning, which makes other sirens sceptical of him, especially those who think humans are evil. He will later try to learn human language to be able to communicate with Peppino better.

Noise

Goblin shark. He can theoretically go on land for a bit, but needs some water nearby. He's a little sceptical about humans, but not outright hostile. He likes annoying pretty much everyone, especially Peppino once they meet (he thinks his reactions are funny).

He throws sea urchins and pufferfish at others like bombs, as he (like most sirens) is immune to their poison / venom. While he's usually an unhinged gremlin, he just about melts when with Hazel. But of course he tries to hide this from others.

Fake Peppino

Created by Pizzahead from DNA of frogs, newts, and Peppino (obviously). He was meant to be a weapon for sirens against humans, and thus is supposed to be hostile. Unfortunately, he turned out to be extremely affectionate, and he loves hugs. Much like Gustavo, when friends are attacked, he can get downright deadly. He can also regenerate body parts like an axolotl, unless his brain has been damaged. Like, you can rip both his arms off and they'll grow back within a day.

He becomes close friends with Gustavo, and is kind of fascinated by Peppino (other humans too, but mostly Peppino). He would play in the water with Brick once they meet, and become friends with Hazel. Can go on land as well, but prefers the water. He communicates with croaks, gurgles and other noises, and can speak very limited human language (very few fractions of words or sentences, it just sounds like gibberish), taught to him by Pizzahead.

Pepperman

Lumpfish (idk either just roll with it). He's kind of indifferent to humans, but he does think he's better than them. I could see him making a brush or something out of seaweed to draw. And then always getting upset that his drawings never stay cause of the water, but he keeps drawing anyway. Blames Noise for destroying his art even if he knows it's the water (Noise thinks it's funny). "Borrows" seaweed from Vigi's farm to make new brushes. But he'll also make statues out of various rocks and other things he finds laying around. Mostly of himself. Some humans think they're built from ancient civilizations, while others think it's some sort of elaborate hoax. Nobody recognizes Pepperman's talent :(

Vigilante

Sea slug. He genuinely believes humans want to kill sirens for nefarious reasons, possibly cause he's a little older i guess. Hands just appear when he needs them.

He has an underwater equivalent of a farm (like, he grows and tends to seaweeds, anemones, corals, etc), that he inherited from his grandpa. He'd love to just tend to the farm all day, but feels obligated to punish anyone who does wrong. Unofficial officer / sheriff of the sea. He still has his cowboy hat because i said so let me be silly on main.

Pizzahead

Ribbon eel. He can give others a little shock as if he had like a hand shocker thing. It mostly just hurts a bit and isn't lethal cause cartoon logic. He does not like humans, but mostly because he grew up with everyone around him telling him they're evil. Actually he's very curious and fascinated by humans, which is why he decided to clone Peppino. Mostly cause he sees him the most on the shore. Somehow. How he actually got his DNA is a mystery.

Later on he decides / attempts to make Fakey into a weapon after witnessing how strong Peppino is. He obsessively learns human language and tries to understand as much about human culture as he can. But he'll twist things around and tell others that he does it to "better understand their weaknesses". Right.

Pizzaface

Stingray. The leader of sirens in the elusive Siren Tower. He HATES humans, especially after some divers discovered the tower and continuously come there to explore. Basically just doesn't want his and his fellow sirens' home discovered or threatened. He's disappointed in Pizzahead because he taught himself human language, even after given an explanation (or excuse).

SPECULATION CORNER

Aka characters i can't quite figure out what to do with yet

Burton

A whale shark bc I can't get enough of sharks apparently. Sharks are cool okay

Alternative: just Mr. Stick's husband who sometimes comes with him to Peppino's

Gerome

A sentient rock and John's older brother, who always took care of him and helped him with the tower. Now just does maintenance and keeps John company.

Alternative: Peppino's janitor, but still made of rock because that's silly

John

A sentient rock that used to carry the tower around through the oceans but somehow got cursed and is now part of the foundation and can't move anymore. Was he a siren before? Or just a pillar? Or maybe a fish made of stone? We don't know.

[gold-rhine]

since neuvi reruns, i wanted to talk about his teams, bc i saw a lot of like misconceptions. i see ppl going like "he needs furina, i dont have her\she's on another team, so i can't play him" or like "he needs both kazuha and xilonen to be good," etc.

first of all, he doesn't need ANYBODY. That man can solo one side of the abyss. One of his biggest strength is that you can put him and like 3 parasites who do no damage, but sometimes can react with hydro, and he will clear. i play him without furina all the time.

Neuvi teams are like pizza. like yes, if you put best premium ingredients, like, idk, italian prosciutto, ruccola, expensive cheese, then it will be great. but if you order from pizza chain or do homemade from whatever is in your fridge, it will still be good, probably worse than the fancy restaurant in italy, but still good, bc if you have the basics down, its really hard to make bad pizza. Same with neuvi teams, if you have a well built neuvi, its hard to do a bad team.

basics are: he wants 3 different elements (other than hydro) on a team, preferably with off-field, bc he gets buffs from just the fact that teammates triggered hydro reaction. This is why furina is not crucial btw - without his C1, he loses entire stack of the buff with second hydro on a team. furina has enough personal buffs to compensate, but overall the new buff you're getting from a character of different element will be good enough.

His teammates should be preferably buffing neuvi in some way, bc hes doing most damage, so basic formula is like:

anemo with viridescent venerer (best option kazuha)

natlan off-field with cinder scrolls set (best option xilonen)

flex slot, sub dps\buffer or shield (best option furina)

So, to illustrate i went thru first half of current abyss on my f2p account with like the most garbage options for teammates. This abyss (the one before his one rolls out) is actually not favorable to him, bc one side has hydro tulpa, and other half has a hydro beast with like 80% hydro resistance. and you know what? it doesn't matter, he can still deal with hydro beast fast enough. If it can get WET, it can get DEAD.

so, my team was, with well built, but C0 neuvi on 4 star weapon (widsith):

jean with vv on ER build - he doesnt need healer without furina (or even with her tbh), but i imagine if like im casual player and afraid of dying, i want a healer. but this can be any anemo with vv

my unbuilt ororon with scroll set. hes not doing damage himself bc he has 89% crit damage and is on energy recharge weapon, he's just there to activate buff. it could be kachina or any new natlan support. if you dont want to use natlan character for some reason, then literally doesnt matter

my level 50 dehya with level 1 sac greatsword. this is to signify like defensive unit slot, bc ppl are afraid to play him without shield. i just dont have a built shield. but yeah, you can use any shield here

so, this team has no synergy, in fact, it has like anti-synergy. no one except neuvi is doing any damage here. this is like. the worst case scenario team, with just random half-assed characters.

ok, so this team cleared first half in minute and a half first try. 1-30! if you dont know, minute and a half is a threshold of like a decent team, bc its half out of 3 minutes, so the second side also gets minute and a half. so neuvi with bad supports who do nothing clears in the same time as a decent team of 4 well-built characters should.

this is why its said he has high floor - like, his worst case scenario is still as good or better than most other characters good case. this is similar to hyperbloom - another team that can be really good with low investment. in fact, i cleared second side with like most basic hyperbloom team (nahida, xingque, kuki, fischl) and easily 9 starred. neuvi on one side and hyperbloom on another is like the easiest low investment abyss clears lol.

i also tried another like "not best", but better than trash team: kazuha, fischl, nahida. its not really hyperbloom, but it can synergize better than the first one, and it has decent sub-dps damage. So this team cleared first chamber in a minute, and other chambers in 50 seconds (bc hydro beast is in first chamber). This is i think is like a mid-investment team, nothing crazy, not best case, and it still clears in a minute!

his best team (furina, kazuha, xilonen, all c0, no 5 star weapons) clears first half in 40 seconds. again, this is in abyss thats kinda bad for him. this leaves more than 2 minutes for your second side to be bad and struggle.

tldr: neuvi is crazy flexible. build your neuvi well and everyone else on a team can be garbage and do no damage, and it will still clear fast enough to 3 star abyss room. he has no "must have" teammates. the better supports you give him, the better he becomes, but he can lose any of them if they are needed on second team and not struggle.

[romainlettusdinnerparty]

hi i just finished heartstopper and am having 5 million thoughts and am determined to get them all off of my chest 🫡

1. genuinely hilarious to me how all the promo for this season was about it being “raunchy” and “horny” while this is like some of the least horny sex ive ever seen on tv (not necessarily bad and also pretty expected,, just the juxtaposition of how the actors spoke about vs the reality of the show makes me giggle a little like why are these 20 something’s so adorably amused by this lmao)

2. im obsessed with tao. i think will gao might be the best actor on this show. this is a cringy little show and if youre gonna watch it you have to acknowledge that and embrace it and sometime you Will Cringe but!! will gao somehow is so authentic with tao’s cringyness its never actually cringe worthy?? i have absolutely no way to put this into words i simply Adore him. he kinda feels reminiscent of donald glover as troy barns in this way somehow idk if that makes sense

3. i am also obsessed with imogen. riah noorwood’s physicality is actually fucking brilliant to me. like this girl was raised in the theatre it is so obvious and i love her for it so so much. her face is so expressive and BODY just like is twice as expressive?? like wtf are you drinking girl?? im in love with her and her giant giant eyes.

4. where heartstopper kinda loses me sometimes is the language? and not just cuz they say weird little british things cuz their weird and british but more in the way of how they verbalize their experiences with queerness. like it is always very clear, very straight to the point, very labeled. i feel like this most often comes up with isac and asexuality, darcy and being non-binary, and elle talking about dysphoria. it just feels unrealistic in a way that takes me out of it. like we are taking a moment to pause, turn to the audience, define this experience in exact terms, and then come back to the actual emotion of it. and i dont really know how i feel about it tbh? like in someways it is important and necessary and a part of good representation is the audience being aware of what you are representing. but i often do feel like this need for very specific, completely defined, clearly stated representation takes away from the humanity of it? gonna bring this back to stranger things for a moment: take will and jonathan in the pizza freezer. this is essentially a coming out scene but it is beautifully subtle and true to the character’s and the way they would react and express themselves in this moment. i do not think the scene would have been made better if will had to explicitly state he was gay for jonathan to understand him. and maybe thats really the crux of this: i feel like the goal of using this specific terminology is all in favor of the Audience Understanding not the character who they are speaking to. i think a lot of queer people, even intermingling identities like sexuality and gender, will kinda be able to just pick up on things? without having to spell them out? and at least in my experience, most people find the spelling out to be the worst part - wishing someone would get it without having to volunteer the actual language. so when a character immediately starts using the agreed upon label, not coaxed out of them, not reluctantly, not as a Thing, just as a “this is how i view this and want to say it” feels kinda unauthentic - at least to my experience. and weirdly enough, in my experience, those labels are super helpful! i love a box! huge fan! but in casual conversation? not so much. in conclusion, i would much rather have elle talk about what her dysphoria being triggered felt like, have tao understand what that means for her and her identity of being trans and her relationship with that identity, rather than just knowing that tao and elle both know what gender dysphoria is.

5. back to imogen: they did a great job with her. that scene with nick and saying she might have never liked a boy? perfection. they did not have to say the word comphet for me to get it. ive been there. we Get it. the labels and ,,, i almost wanna say therapy speak? almost feel like its to hold the hand of the straight audience. those who might Not intrinsically Get It. and thats ok, just as a queer viewer it takes me out of it sometimes :/

6. nick’s friendships with lesbians are my favorite thing in the whole entire world!!! him and TARA??? omfg i love love LOVE tara!! and ofc him and imogen,,, theyre just so precious to me!!!! my absolute favorite arc in general for nick is him finding his community - his queer community. like we see he is so lacking in good friends in season one, (absolute favorite moment of that season, and has been since i first saw it, is after nick comes out to tara and darcy and them and him and charlie are all texting about getting tao and elle together and darcy says something along the lines of “we’re all such meddling gays i love it” and we get a focus shot on nick’s face and he just looks so fucking happy to be apart of it!! a part of the “meddling gays”. like just so readily and without exception accepted into this community in a way that is not just made of tragedy, its a bit goofy!! its a bit silly even!!) people who he has things in common with and actually likes and who like Him not just for being cool and on the rugby team with them, to now him having this absolutely lovely community of friends who love and care about him is so precious to me. and him having the best time at the school he visits because of the community he can see there!! like ill die. this is my favorite part of this show forever.

7. goddd i had so many thoughts about eating disorders while watching this and im in such a different place in my life than when i first read this plot line in the comics but im a little like… idk i was just thinking about how i think almost every single girl or afab person ik has experienced some type of eating disorder or disordered eating or like - i just know no women with a good relationship to food i dont think. and im sitting here going - was this not taken seriously, IS this not taken seriously, Because it has to do with body image? because its not specifically linked to control or symptoms of OCD (not saying that girls/ afab people dont have disordered eating because of those things too but i think you would be hard pressed to find someone where its not at least a little linked to body image and female beauty standards) and instead just viewed as the typical “girlhood” experience? like this is just what growing up as a woman looks like. not a critique of the show, i just wonder if charlie was a girl, and had anorexia because he wanted to be skinny, would this ever be an actual plot point? or would this just be a truth of the female experience? Unextraordinary.

8. still think its so funny how unsexy the sex was. like ill never get over the way nick called charlie hot at the end there it just like?? encouraging?? he was not turned on. idk it was on brand but goooofy to me!!!

the end.

[transgenderpolls]

Submission Guidelines/Disclaimers

First, things to keep in mind when you submit:

there is a limit of 12 answers for polls, and on this blog one of those answers will always be 'show results,' to allow for people that the poll doesn't apply to to see without skewing data. so in reality you have a maximum of 11.

there's also an 80-character limit on the options

SO, if you go over those limits, know that I will take it into my own hands to decide which answers to omit and/or how to re-word it to fit the limit.

even otherwise, expect that the wording of your submission may be slightly altered in order to be more inclusive (when it doesn't affect the data), or because i think you missed an option that you probably meant to include, or just to make it sound less clunky. if you have an issue with any changes upon posting, i'm happy to hear you out.

tbh i may also alter it heavily if i cannot imagine for the life of me why your poll is worded/split up the way it is. like, sorry, i truly do not think that whether someone is transmasc or transneutral would affect their ability to take off a binder without taking off their shirt. if i can instantly think of a smarter way to split it up and collect more thorough data i'll do it.

depending on how many submissions i have it could be anywhere from a day to a week before you see it posted.

if your poll is addressing a very small group, don't be surprised or angry when the 'see results' poll is the biggest. that needs to be there to keep data from being skewed by anyone's curiosity.

Base Guidelines For Submitting:

poll must be related to being trans. it doesn't have to be exclusively directed at trans people, but if you want cis people to be allowed to answer, please make that clear in your submission. otherwise i'll default to it being a trans-only poll.

it CAN be directed at a specific type of trans person, such as trans men/women, non-binary people, trans lesbians, trans moc, etc - literally you can address any specific trans group you want, just make sure to say so.

it CAN relate to sex, just try to be tasteful about it.

What would make me NOT post a submission:

if it's an opinion poll about the validity of any particular type of trans person. "validity" is a moot topic and i'm not going to encourage it, and in any case i'd like the focus of this blog to be about recording experiences (real, undeniable, forever in stone) rather than opinions (always changing, meaningless)

if it's too niche and/or would just make a pointless poll. like, you guys, phalloplasty is expensive as fuck. if you wanna know info about it you're better off just finding someone who's had it and talking to them.

if it's something like "trans people: do you like pineapple on pizza?" or some other question that doesn't actually have anything to do with being trans. if you wanna send something like this, make your case for why it's relevant that the poll is directed at trans people.

if it's some other obviously offensive shit, obviously. no racism or whatnot here.

FAQ:

Who counts as trans?/Can I vote on a poll for trans people if I'm nonbinary?

We self-define here, so if you consider yourself trans, you're trans. Non-binary is definitionally under the trans umbrella - though you're not obligated to consider yourself trans if you don't relate to a trans experience.

Why isn't there an option for X?/You missed an option.

Sometimes I may genuinely miss an option, but 9 times out of 10 the lack of the option is either due to the poll limits on tumblr, or because it goes against the point of the poll. For example, if the question begins with "If you're on HRT," then "i'm not on HRT" isn't going to be an option. If the prerequisite of the poll doesn't apply to you, then what you click is "see results." If it's something a little less concrete, polls will always include some kind of "other" option anyway.

Can you make more polls for X type of trans person?

*I* make polls based off what I'm personally curious about. If you're curious about something, submit it!

Why would you post that question that seems to imply that certain gender roles are real and that anyone should ever take them seriously? Or that poll that's asking if people do a bad thing that they shouldn't do?

Because no poll on here ever inherently implies anything. It's a question. Asking "does it make you dysphoric/euphoric to wear the color pink" does not itself PUSH the gender role of pink being for girls, but simply ACKNOWLEDGES the reality that that gender role exists and might affect some people's emotions. Please recognize that not everyone's dysphoria is rational.

And in the case that you see a question where you think it would be horrible if a lot of people answered yes, then consider the fact that the poll's results themselves may prove that most people aren't saying yes, and therefore nothing bad has happened. Consider the MANY different reasons someone may want those results. Maybe someone had an argument with someone and wants to show them what the trans community's opinion largely is.

Please understand what the purposes of polls are. That they gauge a large sample of responses. A poll that's actually inherently offensive or too incendiary to post would be something that outright uses slurs or whose results would only potentially serve to upset people. Not just "what do you think about gender markers on IDs."

Can you get rid of the 'see results' button? Or can you not include it on this particular poll? I only want X people to respond. This poll is ONLY for X people.

If a poll is on this blog, it's for everyone, questioning and simply curious people included. It's also not going to stop curious people from clicking if there's no 'see results' button. It ensures that the data doesn't get skewed, and gathering data is what polls are for. It doesn't hurt you to see a big see results bar. The data is still there. If the bar does wind up obscuring more significant data, that means the poll was addressing too small of a group to begin with. And that's NOT the end of the world. This blog is far from the only place where you can get information about other trans people's experiences.

[sicknessbysalem]

WAIT LEX LEARNED HOW TO MAKE HOMEMADE GLUTEN FREE PASTA FOR SOREN?? 😭😭😭 oh to be loved that much 😭 but that makes me so curious (im not the anon from @lisupandowntown ‘s blog but i too live for celiac rep and other chronic illnesses in whump which tbh is why i love your blog so much but anyway!). Would you be interested in writing a fic with Soren getting something cross contaminated or maybe before lex knows that gluten is an issue? Whatever works for the lore but I would love to see how Soren’s affects him and also im a total sucker for lex’s caretaking style.

hi nonny!

i was in a writing mood so i figured i would knock this out too!

once again, i can only write celiac from my own personal experiences with it. like i said in the previous, this is my personal experience and everyone is different!

looking at their lore i cant really write lex accidentally messing up the food he cooks for soren in that way. lex didn’t really start cooking until after rehab and by then he knew soren couldn’t have gluten so he learned to make gluten free things (fun fact: when lex cooks he does his best to make it not just gluten free but other allergen free because he has food sensitivities too and its just easier on his stomach to be mindful of that)

also despite knowing both their respective issues, when lex and soren are on tour they really don’t pay attention to what they eat. they’re stupid, end of discussion.

if you have any more requests, questions, comments, etc., send them my way!

tw emeto, nausea, serious stomach pain, bad food decisions, obligatory ‘lex and soren are dumbasses’ warning

It was one of those evenings where the exhaustion seeped into the marrow of their bones, making every simple task feel like a Herculean effort. The hotel room smelled faintly of damp linens and stale air conditioning, but Lex and Soren were too tired to care. Their day had been grueling—press, rehearsals, and an acoustic set crammed into the same 24-hour cycle, leaving little room to breathe, let alone eat.

Soren was sprawled on the couch, his ash blond hair sticking to his temples in damp strands, one arm draped across his eyes. Lex sat cross-legged on the floor, his back leaning against the coffee table as he stared at his phone, scrolling through the endless list of takeout options. They’d both waved off the idea of going out for dinner as laughable; even standing seemed like an exercise in cruelty.

“You’re gonna have to pick something, or we’ll both starve,” Soren muttered without moving, his voice muffled under the weight of his fatigue.

“I’m trying,” Lex replied, his tone laced with mock exasperation. His dark hair was tied in a loose, messy knot at the nape of his neck, a few strands falling into his eyes as he studied the screen. “Everything either takes too long or sounds awful.”

“Pizza, then,” Soren offered, shifting slightly so he could peek at Lex from beneath his arm.

Lex snorted. “Bold choice, mate. You think that’s our best bet?”

“It’ll get here fast, and I don’t have to chew much,” Soren countered, his lips twitching into a faint smile.

Lex sighed but relented, placing the order through a local joint that promised delivery within thirty minutes. He clicked the gluten-free crust option for Soren out of habit, double and triple checking to make sure it went through, even adding an order note to make sure.

When the confirmation pinged back, he tossed his phone onto the couch beside Soren and leaned his head back against the table, letting his eyes close.

The knock at the door came twenty-five minutes later, startling Lex out of the light doze he hadn’t realized he’d slipped into. He shuffled to his feet, cursing softly at the stiffness in his knees, and retrieved the pizza. The smell was comforting in a primal, greasy sort of way, and by the time he set the box on the low coffee table, Soren had managed to sit up, albeit slowly.

“Smells better than I expected,” Soren murmured as Lex handed him a plate. He took a slice without much thought, too tired to inspect it beyond a cursory glance, and started eating. Lex followed suit, his hunger overpowering his usual habit of chewing slowly to stave off nausea.

They ate in companionable silence, the TV playing some mindless sitcom in the background. For a while, everything felt manageable—the weight of the day lifting slightly as the pizza filled the void in their stomachs. But as they polished off the last slices and leaned back, exhaustion sinking in anew, Soren began to shift uncomfortably.

It started with a faint grimace, his hand drifting absently to his stomach. Lex, ever observant, noticed immediately but didn’t comment. He watched as Soren adjusted his position on the couch, his movements growing more restless by the second.

“You good?” Lex asked finally, setting his plate aside.

Soren hesitated, his brows knitting together. “I don’t know. Feels… off.”

Lex straightened, a thread of concern tightening in his chest. “Off how?”

Soren exhaled sharply, leaning forward and pressing both hands against his stomach. “Like—ugh—cramping. Maybe worse.”

It hit Lex like a punch to the gut. He glanced at the empty pizza box and swore under his breath. “Shit. The crust.”

Soren’s eyes widened, realization dawning too late. “You didn’t—?”

“I thought I did,” Lex said quickly, guilt flashing across his face. “I swear I checked, but—”

Soren waved him off, though his expression was tight with discomfort. “Not your fault. Just—” He cut off, clenching his jaw as another wave of pain hit.

Within minutes, Soren’s condition deteriorated. The cramps worsened, sharp and relentless, and his skin turned a sickly shade of pale. Lex moved without hesitation, clearing the coffee table and crouching in front of Soren, one hand braced on his knee.

“Bathroom,” Lex said firmly, his voice steady despite the rising panic in his chest.

Soren shook his head. “Not—don’t think I can move yet.”

“Then we wait,” Lex replied, his tone leaving no room for argument. He grabbed a water bottle from the mini-fridge and set it beside Soren, then gently pulled a trash can closer, just in case.

Soren groaned, curling slightly in on himself. “Hurts,” he muttered through gritted teeth.

“I know, love,” Lex murmured, his voice softening. He reached out, his fingers brushing against Soren’s temple to sweep the damp hair from his face. The touch was light, almost reverent, a silent reassurance.

Soren leaned into the contact despite himself, his breath hitching as another wave of nausea rolled through him.

The first heave came suddenly, wracking Soren’s body and forcing him to lurch forward. Lex was there in an instant, steadying him with one hand on his back while the other held the trash can in place.

“It’s alright,” Lex said quietly, his voice calm and measured. “Just let it out. You’ll feel better.”

Soren gagged again, his face contorting as his stomach rebelled. Lex stayed close, his touch unwavering, his presence grounding. He murmured reassurances between each heave, his words a balm against the discomfort.

When it was over, Soren slumped back against the couch, utterly spent. Lex handed him the water bottle, watching as he took small, tentative sips.

“You’re gonna be alright,” Lex said softly, his dark eyes filled with quiet determination. “We’ll ride it out, yeah? Together.”

Soren managed a weak nod, his gratitude unspoken but understood. As the night stretched on, Lex stayed by his side, a constant source of care and comfort. And though exhaustion weighed heavily on them both, neither seemed to mind—it was simply what they did for each other, no questions asked.

As the minutes dragged into an hour, the discomfort gnawing at Soren’s gut seemed only to intensify. The cramps didn’t subside but instead deepened into a sharp, twisting pain that made him curl further into himself. He had slid down the couch until he was nearly horizontal, one hand clutching his abdomen while the other gripped the edge of the cushion with white-knuckled desperation.

Lex, ever watchful, sat cross-legged on the floor beside him, resting his arms on the couch. His sharp, dark eyes tracked every flicker of discomfort that crossed Soren’s face, cataloging every shallow breath and strained exhale.

“You’re still cramping bad?” Lex asked softly, though he already knew the answer.

Soren didn’t respond immediately, his lips pressed into a tight line. After a moment, he nodded weakly, his head barely lifting from the pillow.

“Alright,” Lex murmured, his voice calm but edged with quiet resolve. He pushed himself up and moved toward the kitchenette tucked into the corner of their hotel suite. Rummaging through the drawers, he grabbed a clean dish towel, ran it under hot water, and wrung it out. He folded the steaming cloth neatly before heading back to Soren.

Kneeling beside him again, Lex gently pressed the makeshift compress against Soren’s abdomen, his movements careful and deliberate. Soren tensed slightly at first, but as the heat seeped into his skin, his body began to relax by small degrees.

“Better?” Lex asked, tilting his head.

Soren let out a low, shaky breath. “A little,” he rasped, though his voice was strained.

It wasn’t long before the nausea returned in force, clawing its way up from Soren’s churning stomach. He grimaced, turning his head away as if willing the sensation to pass. Lex noticed immediately, the subtle clench of Soren’s jaw and the way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard.

“Still feeling sick?” Lex asked gently.

Soren didn’t answer, but the way his breathing grew uneven was all the confirmation Lex needed. Without a word, Lex reached for the trash can he’d left nearby, setting it beside Soren with quiet efficiency.

“Hey,” Lex said, his voice soft but firm as he crouched closer. “Don’t fight it if it’s gonna happen. You’ll feel better.”

Soren shook his head weakly, his expression tense with discomfort. But his body betrayed him, and moments later, his stomach lurched violently. Lex was ready, his hand steadying the trash can as the first heave wracked Soren’s frame.

The next several minutes were an unrelenting cycle of retching and dry heaving, the sound harsh and painful in the quiet room. Soren clutched his abdomen, his knuckles white as the cramps intensified with each bout.

Lex stayed right beside him, one hand resting on Soren’s back while the other kept the trash can in place. He murmured soft reassurances between each heave, his voice a steady anchor against the storm of Soren’s misery.

“You’re alright,” Lex said quietly, his hand rubbing gentle circles between Soren’s shoulder blades. “I’ve got you.”

When the episode finally eased, leaving Soren pale and trembling, Lex handed him the water bottle again. “Just a sip,” Lex instructed, watching carefully as Soren complied.

Soren’s hands shook as he brought the bottle to his lips, but Lex steadied him, his touch light but grounding. After a few small sips, Soren sank back against the couch, his breathing shallow and uneven.

The night wore on, and the flare showed no signs of relenting. The cramps continued in relentless waves, and the nausea came and went, leaving Soren too weak to sit up for long. Lex refused to leave his side, moving only to fetch more supplies—a fresh towel, a glass of cool water, or a clean shirt when Soren’s sweat-soaked one became unbearable.

When Soren shifted restlessly, trying to find a position that eased the pain, Lex was quick to adjust the pillows behind him, propping him up just enough to breathe easier. He sat close, his presence a quiet reassurance, and occasionally reached out to brush damp strands of hair from Soren’s flushed face.

Hours later, as the worst of the vomiting finally passed, Soren lay exhausted and hollowed out, his head resting against Lex’s thigh. The cramps persisted, though less sharply now, leaving him groaning softly as he clutched his stomach.

Lex sat cross-legged on the couch, his hand resting lightly on Soren’s shoulder. He had abandoned his own discomfort long ago, he’d been nauseous earlier but after sneaking a dose of anti-nausea medicine while he was grabbing water for Soren he’d started to be able to at least ignore it, his entire focus honed on making Soren as comfortable as possible.

“You’re a terrible patient, you know that?” Lex said quietly, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Soren huffed a weak laugh, his eyes fluttering open just enough to meet Lex’s gaze. “You’re a worse nurse,” he croaked, though the faint smile on his lips betrayed his gratitude.

“Yeah, yeah,” Lex muttered, his tone fond. He adjusted the towel on Soren’s stomach, his touch gentle but sure. “Just let me know when you’re ready to get some actual sleep. I’ll sit with you as long as you need.”

Soren didn’t respond, but the way his breathing evened out a little told Lex that, for now, he was doing enough. And as the night stretched into early morning, Lex stayed by his side, watching over him with quiet, unwavering care.

The night had grown eerily quiet, save for the faint hum of the hotel air conditioning. The stillness magnified every sound in the room—Soren’s uneven breathing, the faint rustle of the towel Lex adjusted on his stomach, the creak of the couch cushions as Soren shifted in a futile attempt to ease the pain radiating through his abdomen.

Lex hadn’t moved far since Soren had laid his head against his thigh, his fingers resting lightly in the ash-blond strands damp with sweat. He carded his fingers through Soren’s hair absentmindedly, an act both soothing and grounding—for Soren, but also for himself.

Watching Soren writhe in discomfort ignited a helplessness that settled heavily in Lex’s chest, a sensation he’d learned to mask with quiet action.

Soren groaned softly, his eyes squeezed shut as another cramp twisted through his gut. His hands instinctively pressed against his abdomen, his fingers curling against the towel Lex had placed there earlier.

“Still bad?” Lex asked softly, his voice low, careful not to disturb the fragile calm they’d managed to maintain.

Soren nodded faintly, too drained to respond with words. The faint tremor in his hand as he gripped the towel was all the confirmation Lex needed. He adjusted his position carefully, sliding out from beneath Soren’s head and replacing his thigh with a pillow.

“Stay put, yeah?” Lex murmured, leaning down to brush a sweat-slicked strand of hair away from Soren’s temple. “I’ll be right back.”

Soren blinked groggily, his expression laced with unease as Lex stepped away. “Don’t… leave,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse.

Lex crouched back down, his hand cupping Soren’s cheek lightly, his thumb brushing against the pale skin. “Not leaving,” he promised, his gaze steady. “Just getting you a fresh towel. Be back in two seconds.”

The kitchenette was a dimly lit corner of the room, and Lex worked quickly, dampening another towel with warm water and wringing it out. He folded it neatly, pausing to grab a bottle of ginger ale from the mini-fridge and a packet of saltine crackers. He wasn’t sure if Soren would be able to stomach anything yet, but it was worth a try.

When he returned, Soren’s eyes were closed, his breathing shallow but labored. Lex set the supplies down on the coffee table and knelt beside him again, replacing the now-cool towel on Soren’s stomach with the warm one.

“Here,” Lex said softly, adjusting the new towel so it rested snugly against Soren’s abdomen. “This should help a bit.”

“Where’d you learn that…” Soren asked softly.

“Ksenia, when she’s on her period, she’s usually in a lot of pain,” Lex shrugged, “She’s told me it helps. Much like I want to help her not suffer, I definitely don’t want you to suffer. I thought it was worth a try.”

Soren let out a shaky breath, his lips parting in what might’ve been a whisper of thanks. Lex leaned back, his gaze scanning Soren’s face for any signs of worsening discomfort. His pale skin was flushed with exhaustion, and the dark circles under his eyes seemed more pronounced in the faint light.

A sudden, sharp intake of breath broke the fragile calm, and Soren lurched forward, his arms wrapping protectively around his stomach as his body heaved. Lex moved instantly, grabbing the trash can and sliding it into place just as Soren retched. The sound was harsh, guttural, and it sent a pang through Lex’s chest.

“It’s alright,” Lex said gently, one hand steadying the trash can while the other rubbed soothing circles on Soren’s back. “Let it out, love. I’ve got you.”

Soren gagged again, his body trembling with the force of it. The retching came in relentless waves, his stomach rejecting what little it had left. Lex stayed close, his touch constant, his presence grounding.

When the worst of it subsided, leaving Soren slumped against the couch, Lex handed him the water bottle. “Small sips,” he instructed, his tone soft but firm.

Soren obeyed, his hand trembling as he lifted the bottle to his lips. He took a sip, then another, his breathing gradually evening out. Lex watched him closely, his dark eyes scanning for any sign of another wave coming on.

“Think you’re done?” Lex asked quietly, setting the trash can aside.

Soren shook his head faintly. “I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Lex sighed softly, his fingers brushing against Soren’s clammy forehead. “Alright,” he murmured. “Let’s ride it out, yeah? No rush.”

He shifted, settling himself on the floor beside Soren and leaning his back against the couch. He rested his arm on the cushion near Soren’s head, his fingers brushing lightly against Soren’s hair.

“You’re a stubborn one, you know that?” Lex said softly, a faint smirk tugging at his lips before placing a quick kiss on Soren’s forehead, “Won’t let me take care of you unless you’re literally falling apart.”

Soren huffed weakly, the corners of his lips twitching in the barest hint of a smile. “Don’t need… much,” he mumbled, though the exhaustion in his voice betrayed him.

“Yeah, sure,” Lex replied dryly, his tone light but tinged with affection. “That’s why you’re half-passed out and miserable right now.”

Soren didn’t have the energy to argue, and Lex didn’t press. Instead, he focused on keeping him comfortable—adjusting the towel, wiping his face with a different damp cloth, and murmuring quiet reassurances whenever the nausea resurfaced.

As the hours stretched on, the pain in Soren’s abdomen began to ease, though the nausea lingered stubbornly. He remained curled up on the couch, his head resting against Lex’s arm as they waited for the worst to pass. Lex stayed close, his presence a quiet but unwavering comfort, his every action laced with care and intention.

By the time dawn crept through the edges of the blackout curtains, Soren’s breathing had evened out, and the tension in his body had softened. Lex leaned back, his eyes heavy with exhaustion but unwilling to close. He watched Soren’s chest rise and fall, a quiet relief settling over him.

“Better?” Lex asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Soren nodded faintly, his lips curving into a tired but grateful smile. “Thanks,” he murmured, his voice hoarse but sincere.

Lex smiled back, his hand brushing gently against Soren’s temple. “Always, mate,” he replied, his voice low and steady. “Always.”

[spiderziege]

omg i love the 3rd life horses so much <333 do you have a thought process for the specific breeds you assigned people, along with the horses’ armor pieces and such? also, i know you said you’re doing 3rd life horses, so do you have any headcanons for what kind of horse life series players that weren’t in 3rd life like pearl and lizzie would have? (like even if you don’t end up drawing them)

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK!!! i do have thoughts!!

i dont have specific breeds picked out for all of them but ill just go through each one :]

cleos horse is a clydesdale, i knew i wanted some big draught horses for cleo and ren specifically, and i just looove clydesdales theyre so beautiful. for bdubs i wasnt as sure, his is maybe a quarter horse or something? definitely something fast and versatile. and both of their tack is meant to be fancy but not too over the top (cleos horse has a couple flowers that match the ones in cleos hair, and bdubs' horse has a clock and a red cloth that matches bdubs' headband)

rens horse is a shire, wanted his horse to he as big and imposing as possible. for martyn i also wanted something strong and big, but not as fancy and eyecatching. so that its obvious from looking at the horses who's the king and who's the hand. i think his is maybe a cleveland bay? and then both of their tack is very medieval knight-esque, which i think fits their vibe pretty well.

for joels horse im not really set on a specific breed, but i wanted something small and agile for him, something used for hunting. his tack is also a lot simpler than the crastle & dogwarts people

for etho i was kinda struggling tbh. the first breed that came to mind was something like arabian or akhal-teke, but in a third life scenario it just doesnt really make sense to give a desert horse to anyone except desertduo lol. my other option was some kind of ancient breed - like sorraias/tarpans. but those are pretty small and i wanted something a bit bigger, so i ended up with just kinda. generic gray horse. i wish id have made the markings a darker gray instead of white, and added a stripe on the back, i think thatd work better. he also has pretty minimal tack, and he's the only one who rides without stirrups cause he just seems like that kinda guy (same)

for the other third lifers - desert duo get either an arabian or akhal teke, like i said. kinda leaning towards arabian. they also only get one horse because they still have pizza too of course

imp & skizz & bigb all get bigger working horses similar to martyn probably. i think imp & skizz get very similar horses, and for bigb im thinking maybe black forest horse or something?

tango gets a mustang, i dont really have a reason for that it just feels right

jimmy gets a haflinger because thats like the golden retriever of horse breeds i think

for scott im not sure either - he could be a lusitano kinda guy, but tbh i think flower husbands can just share one haflinger with a million flowers woven into its hair

and then the ones that werent in third life - pearl definitely gets a marwari horse. im not sure what it is about those horses but thats just. the pearlescentmoon horse to me. maybe its the ears, they kinda look like little antennae

for lizzie im not really sure generally, but i think specifically for the last life fairy fort she gets a unicorn. thats just the only kinda horse i can think of that makes sense lol

mumbo gets a trakehner or some similar warmblood breed

gem gets an irish cob i think. definitely something thats strong but not super big

[aromantyczno-liryczna]

I'm at the stage of pmdd where I feel awful and guilty because I've convinced myself my flatmates hate me I've been avoiding them and the kitchen like the plague except for sometimes when I pass them on the stairs so I'll say hi or when one of my flatmates visits my floor and I feel terrible they have gone out drinking 6 nights in a row and that got me pissed even tho it's none of my business and they did try to include me and ask if I'm going the first few days but then they stopped bc I literally have been staying in my room all day then I started leaving early and returning late to take away that stress and after went out with friends Friday i was so chill it was the two glasses of alcohol but I thought that maybe I could do this and could go down to the kitchen but it's so impossible and my mum calls me everyday what did you have for lunch and I've been saying so much rubbish like all that food I had bought hasn't been touched even tho I said I've been eating it because she told me earlier how when she left on Saturday she was so worried how would I fend for myself when I was literally pushed into the deep end but she said she felt so much better after I explained how I was doing because I just know it would be 100% worse if i told her the truth. Anyway as I was saying my bread went mouldy and the cheesecake I thought everyone finished went mouldy and I do think my flatmates are nice because this girl asked if forgot that I had some and tbh I want to make an effort but I'm just so damn tired on Saturday they did a pub crawl and I thought maybe that's the perfect time but no i messed that up because I just didn't text them and then today they had a movie night and again that'd be a good way to break the ice but no i messed that up again because I'm sill sitting in the library at 1:50 am. And I was going to go back to my room but there's people downstairs so what did I do I went back to the library and now they're all jsut wondering where I am all week because they haven't seen me in days I do know names but I can't match some of the faces because I struggle with that I don't like being teased like 3 days ago one kf them asked if I know their names this isn't primary school ITS ALL S FUCKING STUPID I haven't used to my voice often enough i was literally going to cry on Friday because that was the first time I had people around me that week and it was nice to hang out and I'm just sad because my best friend hasn't even talked with me that much and he lives opposite me so now I'm panicking that a friendship of 7 years has gone to waste even though it was perfectly fine before move in I've literally been talking to my other friends back home more than i have been talking to people here and I want to attend the daytime events even but then I end up changing my mind last second what if went to the other uni the friends I've made are so nice though I just wish I lived in their flat instead we ordered pizza and we played smash bros so it was fun they don't all live in the same building they're spread out I was worried i wouldn't have anyone to get a 2nd year house with but they probably will because they're in the same kind if situation as me and anyway I was going to throw out the food yesterday something is blocking me from going inside the kitchen I even was meant to do the laundry because I'm running out of clothes too wear on the daily but did I do that? No and at the start I did keep my room clean but now it's all messy again I have to psyche myself up to go to the bathroom even though it's right next to my door so yes it is getting bad again

[breathlesswordsbloodyknees]

Change and Divine Judgment

Alright y'all, I keep telling myself I need to write something light and fluffy, but instead this is what came out. I'd like to say I promise I'm not always this intense, I am going through a lot right now...but tbh I'm not sure how true that is. This is a bit of a doozy. But, I do think it ends on hope. I know it's one I needed to see laid out. And I hope...well, I hope it helps someone out there too.

Please have empathy for me and yourself while you read. Thanks in advance for taking the time.

Expanding on Sauron's redemption failure, regarding discussions about Eru/Manwe/Eonwe judgment, coming from my post Narrative Doom. (I'm sorry, I can't be bothered with the umlauts)

TRIGGER WARNING including but not limited to: Religious trauma relating to Christianity, biblical discussion, grief, mental health, and other heavy emotional topics.

—

To Start

Personally, due to a good smattering of religious trauma, I struggle with higher power forgiveness. Heavy evangelical/baptist upbringing that we're working on deconstructing.

In regards to the Eonwe/Manwe/Eru dynamic with Sauron’s judgment, I have a lot of thoughts. It's great for fanworks and symbolism and characterization and the like, don't get me wrong.

But it's itchy for me. This form of redemption that's all or nothing, more of a test—and usually a pretty rigged one. Absolute redemption or total damnation if you fail.

—

It echoes the Book of Job in my head. While this story isn't directly about judgment, as with Eru and crew, I think it does highlight the intricacies of divine testing.

Very reductive Bible take ahead, fair warning:

Basically, he was a man favored by God with wealth and protection, until Satan proposed a contest to test Job’s faith. (I keep swimming around Mairon and Melkor here)

And God agrees, “Yeah, alright, let's do it. You can raze his lands, cause him bodily harm, and take everything from him. Sure, kill his whole family. But just don't kill him.”

God put Job through the fucking wringer and he's expected to be grateful about it. All to settle a tiff between cosmic beings.

In the end, he more or less tells Job, “Hey! It's all good, I'll bless you with a bunch of animals and some brand-new kids. They'll be better than the old ones, don't worry about it.”

And that's how the story ends.

—

Even as a kid, I would sit and stew on this.

Aside from the lessons to be learnt about steadfast faith throughout suffering, what does Job think of all this? How does he feel?

Does he miss his favorite goat who he could always sit and find comfort with? Does the warmth of the sunrise over his vast fields seem different, marred by the memory of fire from heaven?

Let alone that—Does he miss his kids? Does he see echoes of them in the faces of his new ones?

Does he think about his former life the way I think of my pizza pocket shirt, left behind in an ex’s house or laptops I've lost filled with old stories? Or the person I was before the mistakes and trauma?

All that is gone for good, nothing to be done. But there's always that tugging inside.

We don't know, we're not given any of that in the Bible. Instead, we're given an almost throwaway passage detailing the flocks of animals he receives, how cool his new kids are, and how long he lives. It never sat right with me, his divine reward.

—

Job is a paragon of faith, a success story, a parable. But in Sauron’s case, he’s the opposite, a ‘cautionary tale’.

I hate it I hate it I hate it

Eru and crew set the stakes high: redemption or damnation, and in my (flawed) recollection of canon, this is just about the only chance Sauron gets for forgiveness. He's given a choice and he chooses wrong.

Thinking about Job and Sauron both, I'm left wondering: How much is approval in the eyes of the divine really worth? Does the spiritual ‘win’ truly wash the suffering away?

Many people would say yes, absolutely. I think that's beautiful.

I know the teachings about God’s all-encompassing forgiveness, enduring faith through hardship, “Be anxious for nothing” Phillipians 4:6-7, your sins can be washed away in the Light of the Lord. And I don't blame people who find comfort and peace in that—honestly, I greatly envy them.

(though I have my bitterness, you can tell. we're working through that)

But for some of us, especially the ones who can't seem to pass the test, no matter how much they study, I need to dig deeper. Is it really all or nothing? What is your worth outside of divine approval, if it can't be achieved? They say everything can be forgiven, but what of Judas? What of Saul? What of Sauron?

–

It makes me have to consider some things: It’s very true that “repenting in fear” and changing for other people isn't conducive to real growth. We can't expect Galadriel to swoop in and pull him out of the darkness by herself. And neither can Sauron, no matter how much we eat up the “you bind me to the light” line. It's delicious though

That's not a fair burden to put on her or anyone else. By no means am I saying that it is, you can't 'fix' people. “Heal yourself” is spot on.

(I could go down into the details of the lead up and differences of the S1 rejection vs the S2 rejection, but that's a rabbit to chase later)

In the broader framework of ‘how far gone is too far gone,’ (discussed in Narrative Doom), it’s just…when we take into account the reality that people (even Maiar) are fallible…

I mean, isn't that where a lot of us start with change? In shame and fear and guilt? Looking at something ugly inside you and freaking out about it? When you're lost in a bad way, that can feel like all you have to work with.

And sometimes a hand on your shoulder means everything, even if it's not pulling you up.

—

I touched on this before: the tension between good intentions vs bad actions feels like holding coals in your hands.

(Actions matter more than intent, I greatly believe. The impact on others is essential over the 'why' of it; however, I find myself caught in the nuances behind that belief. Intentions and motivations do have weight—to a certain degree. I digress; that's yet another rabbit)

It's all so very easy to tell yourself that the dark is too much to claw your way out of. You convince yourself you're stuck—not only believing that you can't reach for anything greater, but also that you don't deserve better. It's all so very easy to just throw it away and not look at it, hide it in a corner under dirty laundry. To go back to “former habitations,” well-worn grooves, harmful comforting behaviors.

So while Sauron is absolutely culpable for his actions and his moral failures, I, well…I can relate. I can understand.

I've been there, staring down the face of divine judgment and potential forgiveness, but unable to do and feel what you're supposed to, what you're expected to. It makes you angry, it makes you lash out. It's a vicious, bitter cycle.

—

Then I circle back to The Good Place quotes I used. “What matters isn't if people are good or bad. What matters is if they're trying to be better today than they were yesterday.”

For an objectively ‘villainous’ character like Sauron, recognizing and processing his attempts at change is difficult—if not impossible. Especially since we know his narrative ending.

From an outside view, it doesn't matter. He does evil, he rejects redemption, and he fails the test set for him by higher powers. What are his weak attempts worth if he just falls off anyways?

—

Internally, personally, though, I have to believe each little step, each timid shuffle is worth something, even if it's followed by three steps back. Otherwise, I'll give up. I'll throw the baby out with the bathwater. I'll run off into the woods and never return. Byeeeeee.

So I have to remind myself: Cleaning a single dish is better than letting the pile loom.

(which I know some people vehemently disagree with, insisting that if you're gonna do it, you need to do it all and do it right. I hear Ron Swanson's voice in my head: “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”)

For some of us though, particularly in dark times, those tiny little inconsequential acts are monumental. How are we supposed to change if we see it as meaningless?

I just don't think there's such a thing as ‘absolute’ redemption and total forgiveness; it's a gritty, painful process, forever ongoing. At least it has been for me. The dishes will always loom. But we can pick up and wash a fork.

[captainofthedauntless]

Hello!! I just wanna say first I love your work and your doing amazing and if possible I'd like a to request something.

It's my birthday today, and I was wondering if you could write the bayverse tmnt boys and how they would celebrate your birthday or their birthday's if that's ok? I love you and have a great day👋

Hi lovely! Happy Birthday :] I hope it's still the right day LMAO

(Thank you BTW! You are so kind and that means a lot.)

Post-movies HCs below!

I think they all go a little apeshit for birthdays TBH. They are very aware of mortality, risking their asses all the time, and love any excuse to celebrate life.

(Since you didn't specify romantic or platonic, I'll try to do a bit of both! I think the guys would make an effort to know their brothers' partners anyway, so if you're with one they're probably all excited to celebrate with you LMAO)

Don's a sweetheart, okay? Like, to his core. He's sweet and thoughtful and caring, so if you're important to him then it's important to him that he do everything he can to make your big day as special as possible.

This guy totally keeps a list of all the things his loved ones mention through the year that might make good gifts. Things you need fixed, things you need replaced, stuff you want to do- he writes it all down (literally or mentally, I'm not sure). So when your birthday comes around, he's got ideas ready and waiting!

The remote for your TV that only works if it's held at a Very Specific Angle, with a muttered prayer and a sacrifice of chicken nuggets? Replaced, and it probably controls your lights now, too.

You mentioned your computer running slow? He gives you a very professional looking purple coupon for one free computer cleaning, courtesy of DuzMachines LLC, signed by the CEO himself, Donnie Tello. (He looks way too amused by it, honestly.)

Or your hidden passion for table tennis that you only brought up off-handedly six months prior? Well, you better be ready to stretch your wrists, because he assembled a table for it and found a net and paddles and he and Mikey have been practicing to kick your ass.

If you guys are dating, he makes absolutely sure that he gets some solo time with you, away from his family. He leaves all of his tech in the lair (except for his phone and an Absolute Emergency Only panic button, because he's been doing this "save the city" thing long enough to know that if he actually goes off without a way for his brothers to get a hold of him, he'll come back to something on fire or someone bleeding or some sort of bomb going off in Central Park) and takes you for a nice drive. You guys go out in the middle of the night when the traffic is as easy as it'll ever get, and he puts you on DJ duty, and you spend a couple hours just driving around and enjoying each other's company until you end up parked in a quiet spot and he's pulling out a cooler bag of your favorite dessert to share with you.

He stutters a little, but he tells you how much he loves you. How happy you make him. How grateful he is to get to be yours. He kisses you so sweetly that it's even better than the dessert, and when you finally break apart you're smiling and he looks absolutely lovestruck.

"I mean it, you know that?" he says softly, cupping your cheek is his hand and squeezing ever so gently. "I love you."

Leo is micro managing the shit out of his family. Every inch of the lair will be cleaned and prepped for celebrating, okay? If he sees a single pizza box out of place he will be a bitch about it.

He really, really wants to have everything perfect for you.

He's really big on meaningful gifts. He works with April to get you a nice copy of one of his favorite books and writes a heartfelt little note on the first page, wishing you a happy birthday.

Or maybe he's painstakingly curating the perfect playlist of songs that make him think of you and burning them onto a CD, writing your name on the front in that perfect handwriting of his that makes it look like he cares about each letter.

He's the one coordinating all of Mikey's big plans for your big day, too. Leo makes sure everyone's at the lair and settled on time, makes sure that every gift is accounted for and wrapped, makes sure that you know exactly what to expect so you're fully prepared when you walk in to a very happy (read: loud) family gathering.

If you're dating, it's even worse. Everything gets double and triple checked. He makes himself and everyone else a little insane.

And then you come in and grin at him and suddenly the mismatched wrapping paper and clashing bows are more charming and homey than they are frustrating.

Leo makes absolute certain that he gets you alone at the end of the night. It looks like a really natural transition to you, but you know from the big fake yawn Mikey puts on that he isn't nearly as tired as he claims- and knowing your boyfriend, you suspect he had a hand in the comfortable privacy the two of you find yourselves in.

You almost call him out on it, but he's looking at you with so much love it makes your heart ache a little, so you decide to skip the teasing. (For now.)

He gave you a gift with the rest of the group, sure, but now he digs out a cute little box. When you open it, there's a bracelet in just the right metal to contrast gorgeously with your skin, lovingly shaped and formed and perfect.

He's nervous, but it only takes you looking up at him and going "Oh, Leonardo," for him to smile at you again.

"I'm happy to make adjustments to it, if you want."

"If you think I'm letting this out of my sight long enough for that, you are spectacularly incorrect."

He chuckles, and he helps you put it on, and he presses a kiss to your forehead so tenderly you think you may melt right into the floor.

He immediately gives in to you tugging him down to kiss his lips, too.

Obviously, Mikey has exactly zero chill. He goes a lot apeshit. We're talkin' hand-painted banner with your name that goes across the entire living area, a table cloth in your favorite color, every single game and activity you have ever mentioned enjoying all stacked up nice and neat so you can pick whatever you want. You want to play Twister? You bet, baby- he'll even go easy on you. More of a Charades person? He's rounding up the whole crew to play, and Splinter is damn good at it. Mario Kart? You get first dibs on characters and cars. (He will not go easy on you, though. He has a reputation to protect, birthday or not.)

Do not get me started on food.

This guy goes ham. April gets a novel-length shopping list, with your favorite snacks and all the ingredients for your favorite meal and your favorite dessert and he's making mixed drinks that have edible glitter in them. Booze optional- he's a mocktail master, alright?

Leo happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when Mikey does a test run of your meal. Leo proceeds to be stuck because Mike needs a taste tester, and "C'mon, Leo, it's gotta be perfect!", and "No no, just one more tweak, 'kay? Then you're free to go be boring."

(It was not just one more tweak.)

Now, if you're more lowkey, he tries- really really really tries- to keep it chill for you. He does. But he doesn't know how not to do a little something, so you're still getting some Chef Mikey action. Sorry.

If you're dating? Hooooo boy. You are getting smothered in as much affection as you can stand- and he's pretty good at gauging that, so it's only good vibes here. No overload from Mikey, not on your big day! But if you're receptive, you're getting texts right at midnight (despite him being on patrol, BTW) full to the point of bursting with emojis. He follows that up with good morning texts when he gets up. Then it's you coming down to the lair and celebrating and eventually, when things start to slow down a bit, he tugs you away to a secluded corner of their home for cute smooches and big hugs and "Happy birthday, Angel."

("You have a good day?" he asks, eyes big and hopeful and sweet, and when you say yes he scoops you up and spins you just to hear you giggle.)

Raph is actually the only one of the four with any kind of chill- mostly because he is terrified of ruining your day. Birthdays are a huge deal to him, and if he screwed up yours he would legitimately feel guilty until the day he died.

So he keeps it pretty simple. He's a crafty guy, so he might carve you a little wooden decoration for your place, or make you a bowl out of clay, or knit you a big blanket in your favorite color. It's thoughtful, it's either useful or gorgeous, and it's easy for you to carry home.

He's the one that keeps Mikey in check- tries to keep some of the bigger, crazier schemes in line, but he does it without raining on Mike's parade.

And if anybody catches an attitude on your big day? They have this guy to deal with. He takes zero shit. Seriously, Leo's getting bitchy? He gets one (1) warning look. Vern turns up and does anything even remotely annoying? Raph's behind you, silently threatening anything and everything Vern holds dear. Mikey gets too noisy? Raph's bumping his shoulder and having some silent sibling communication. It's all so subtle it's almost off-brand, but it's his way of making sure you have a good day. He's protective!

And if you're dating? Please.

He's doing whatever you want. You need a massage? You're hungry? Tired? Like two degrees too cold? He's got you.

You're having the perfect day if he has to cut his own arm off to make it happen, okay?

He's perceptive, too, so you probably don't have to ask for much.

The gang tries to sing and you look a little uncomfortable? "Happy Birthday to you, blah blah, cake time." And he's winking at you and passing you the cake cutter and it's so no-bullshit that everyone takes the hint but it makes him the center of attention long enough for you to relax again.

(And if you're not a cake person, he totally has Mikey organize another treat, just for you. He helps Mike in the kitchen, too. That shit is made with so much love.)

The night ends with the cuddles of your life. He gets kinda quiet, and it's easy to think he's just tired, but you look over at him and he's staring at you and he looks like you're built out of stardust.

"Shit," he mutters, nuzzling into you and hiding his face in the process. "Love you."

[princess-lvcifer]

round of hugs

ihsahn x f!reader • drabble • hurt with not much comfort tbh

summary: Emperor's last dinner before most of them end up in prison

A/N: This is similar to my previous Samoth x F!Reader drabble and is going to be similar to my next Ihsahn x Samoth and Ihsahn x Faust drabbles because I love exploring the angst of a loved one going far away for months or years. I wrote the first paragraphs and I thought "Wait this could be also yaoi... What should I write...? Fuck it I'll write every version I have in mind."

𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐

He was always aware of the things his band members and other friends were doing, he didn't agree and didn't want to participate, but he kept quiet and just like them thought they would never get caught, but Varg ruined everyone's party. Øystein's murder at the hands of Varg the year before culminated the fun in the Norwegian black metal scene.

The months between then and now had been very hard, with all his band members and other friends being questioned and judged, including himself. His girlfriend, who was also his best girl friend, was a great support to him.

Vegard had a year to psyche himself up, and yet he was still hurt and furious that absolutely all the members of his band were going to prison for church burning, robbery, possession of explosives, grave desecration, extreme violence and even murder. He was furious with all of them for what they had done, and although he knew they deserved it, he was also angry at justice — on Terje and Bård's part he thought it was understandable, but Tomas? It was no big deal, and fortunately he had only been sentenced to sixteen months, but at the same time it seemed like an eternity. He was his best boy friend, he loved him madly, and although they could still communicate by letter and maybe talk on the phone and even visit him, it wouldn't be the same. They would spend a long time apart and the future of the band was uncertain.

There were still a few days left before they were to enter prison, and before that they would go to their parents' house to spend their last days of freedom with their family, so Vegard's girlfriend told him to have a farewell party, just the band.

"It doesn't have to be a party party," she said, lying next to him on his bed, "it can be a chill party. The four of us drinking beers with some pizzas or kebabs, lying on the sofas."

"The four of us?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "The five of us."

"Me too?" she asked, surprised and confused.

"Fuck, you're the one who came up with the idea. And you're friends with them too, especially Tom," he added trying to hide his sadness, and she looked at him, grimacing with understanding at his sadness.

Clearly spirits were not high, but the three future prisoners appreciated the gesture of wanting to cheer them up and invite them to dinner and drinks, and they all dined and drank together one last time.

"You'd better not get married while I'm locked up," Tomas joked, pointing to the couple with his beer in hand before taking a sip from the small bottle. She laughed and blushed, and Vegard just smiled wistfully, nostalgic even for a moment he was still living.

"God, to think that by the time I get out they'll be married with children..." said Bård before taking a sip from his can of Coke.

"We'll all be bald by the time you come out." Terje added as he chewed a bit of the slice of pizza he held in his dominant hand, while covering his mouth with the other.

And quicker than they expected it was time to say goodbye the next morning, with the future prisoners clutching their suitcases in their hands and leaving the house mostly empty. There was a round of hugs with her, who was teary-eyed, and finally with the band's vocalist, who played hard to get. The hugs between the men were peculiar, different from those given to their girl friend: shorter hugs, a seen and unseen where there was hardly any physical contact between their chests, simple pats on their backs. His girlfriend, observant, noticed this attitude between them and other friends at the scene, and wondered: was the pressure of their self-imposed toxic masculinity so great that they wouldn't even allow themselves to hug properly at a time like this?

Luckily the hug that lasted the longest was the hug between Tomas and Vegard, which was a macho hug plus a short hug, an ordinary hug.

"Write me, okay?" Tomas said in his ear as they embraced.

"Sure, same here," he replied as they parted.

And as he watched them walk away and his girlfriend approached him to put her hand on his back, he closed the door and was left alone with her.

"For a moment there I thought you were going to kiss, you know?" She joked as she rubbed her eyes, and he smiled tiredly. "I wouldn't have minded," and after scanning his face in a pause, she added, "Come on, come here," she said more seriously now opening her arms, and he accepted her proposal by leaning in to embrace her, giving her a longer hug than any he had given his friends minutes before, even though he had wanted it.

𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐 𖤐

A/N: English isn't my first language, sorry if something was weird expressed.

Crossposted on AO3. 🇪🇸

[robloxconfessions2]

tbh, out of all the blocky r6 out there CASHIER is the one i hate the most. And no, its not even a love/hate situation because ITS MISSING THE LOVE, i never loved him which i dont get myself because i am a simple blocky r6 avatar lovers and haters, but he is the only one i only HATE and not love its only hate that i feel when seeing him, and the way i just want to have his homunculus and get disgusted till i gag at it is just weird?? I never even simp over him despite playing before snackcore exist and when its still popular, i was actually suprised when seeing people simp over him?? Like he's so stupid and disgusting all he do is just sit by the counter and become some stupidass evil guy? Idiot. It's a suprise to myself that i haven't drawn him getting kiled by player, though i probably never did that bc i hate him so much he doesn't deserve to get drawn getting killed by someone by me. Its how much i hate him i never proudly show my friends my drawings about him getting killed. [Yea, i show them :3] and out of all the r6 avatars HE alone is the one i never got so excited over while imaginating him getting killed brutally. Like even player and dummy that looks soooo much stupider than him still get that treatment, but him? Somehow despite looking less stupider than both of them seems more stupid. Also i hate him for making me cry while reading some ao3 fanfics about player becoming a victim to his villain doing but somehow he's doing better, and in one fic despite him being the one wrong there, player gets told to not hate him by idk dummy or orby but i hate him and the other two for that, you know what. Nevermind that I HATE EVERYONE IN GASA4 INCLUDING PLAYER FOR BEING RELATABLE IN THE FANFICS, I HATE THAT TINY GUY WITH CAR AND I HATE RIPOFF GASA4 GASTER AND I HATE THE RAT AND I HATE PIZZA PERSON AND I HATE PARTY PERSON AND ALL HER RELATIVES AND I HATE DAD AND I HATE THE HOUSE AND I HATE THE SKY AND I HATE LITERALLY EVERYONE. Jk.

This is all sarcasm Lol! excluding the part where i said im a simple blocky r6 avatars lovers/haters & the cashier part bc i hate him fr.

-r6 roblox hater or whatever idk i forgot anon

this would make a pretty good copypasta

[toastedjeans]

Dungeon of Pizza characters! Part 1!

I've been sitting on these for a while now, and I'm finally able to share them all now! i will be sharing a few thoughts i had about the designs as well, so buckle up, this is gonna be a long post!

also tagging @daily-gustavo for the Gus design. if you wanna.

Part 2 -> here

AU Summary post -> here

Starting with Peppino and Gustavo. Since they are both owners of a tavern i thought it would make sense to have them brew potions as well. That is why Gus is carrying a few potion bottles on his belt. Peppino was supposed to have longer hair but i thought he would look too much like he does in Races Tower (AU by @/creat0rstudi0). Gus was actually supposed to have a full beard with a big braid but uh. i can't draw beards, so he instead got the ponytail. Honestly i really like how he came out

Pepperman and Vigilante were a bit tricky since i wasn't sure what to do with them at first. I thought a bandana would look nice on Vigi, and PM got a belt, some boots, and his regular gloves changed to these digital artist gloves. Because i liked that idea even if it doesn't make much sense. Other than that, nothing much changed. There's only so much you can do lol

Noise and Noisette were a little easier concept wise. I knew i wanted Noise to have a hood, and a hidden blade in his gauntlets. I wanted his outfit to be slightly based off Assassins Creed and it doesn't look too bad tbh. Anyway, I'm actually really happy with Noisette's design! Originally she was gonna wear a corset thing with a skirt, but then this happened and actually? I think it looks cool.

Rounding this first part out, we have Doise and Peddito. Doise is, as expected, very similar to Noise, he just has a dagger on his belt cause why not. I don't quite like how he and Noise look when having the hood over their heads, but other than that i like them a lot. Peddito has a few scars and ripped clothes cause he's a restless spirit seeking revenge on Doise. He would probably be more transparent to resemble a ghost better. Oh also since i already decided to keep Peppino's hair short, Peddito got the ponytail because why not tbh.

And that's it for part 1! See ya in a sec for part 2!

[terrapin-might]

Leo really said "is anybody gonna else gonna have a crush on a guy, learn everything they can about street racing and become this guy's rival?" And didn't even try and wait for an answer.

When being some guy's #1 fan isn't enough so you have to become his rival. Many such cases.

But seriously, I've thought more about this and now I know how I want this au to go down. (Strap in, I won first place in the yap-olympics)

It mostly consists of one sided rivals to lovers (my favorite) and happens a bit before the S2 finale and the year between that and the movie. And if wasn't obvious from my other post, it involves street racing (something I know nothing about why'd I choose street racing ugh—)

Pictures are kinda in order too.

Leo sees Usagi race, gets a crush, gets interested in street racing. Has to see every race he competes in from now on.(Top right)

Talks about it to anyone who listens, weirdly only focuses on Usagi hmm, Mikey draws the mystery man. (Don't tell Raph, but the next time Leo called dibs on the last pizza he gave to Mikey so he could have the drawings) (Top left)

Either buys or makes his own merch but I don't think Usagi's the type to make merch or anything like that (doesn't know how, probably wouldn't get the point) tbh so we're going with made. I think April helped. (Bottom left)

And I said they meet because of Usagi saving Leo from some baddies on my last post, that still happens here, it's the first time they meet face to face (or face to Helmut) probably some of Big Mama goons Leo couldn't really fight off because weapons aren't allowed at the races so he and Usagi get to have a romantic bike chase where they try not to crash and die.

Leo deciding if you can't be their boyfriend beat them, be their rival. He trains until he can race Usagi himself. Who is actually happy to have a rival, the weirdo lol. (Bottom right)

I haven't named this AU, so I'll be taking suggestions if you have any (pls give me ideas I don't have any)

After the read more is just an update(?) about my art and posts for people who follow me.

For some reason I've seem to become allergic to digital art, so other than some comics I already planned on posting, this might be my last digital art post for a while. I can draw on paper no problem, I guess drawing on my phone has gotten tiring and my brain hates it for now. We're going traditional baby!

Which is fine because my traditional art is better imo, digital is just easier to color and I'm bad at taking pictures. Like really bad. But I still wanna post art so it'll have to do.

Luckily I was able to finish this but this will be the only nonconic digital art for a while. Had to switch it up though cause I was really struggling the first 30 mins so it's more colorful than my usual art.

Alright that's all bye!