#and it took me even longer to realize what upset me so much and why it was even such a big deal
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emocheol · 7 months ago
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night out
how your boyfriend shows his love for you when he’s under the influence
contains: alcohol consumption, gn!reader, sweet lovely tooth rottingly sweet seungcheol
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whenever seungcheol wanted to go drinking you almost always accompanied him.
he was a clingy and affectionate drunk, so even if you weren’t with him you’d still feel his affection from the 20 calls and 50 text messages that he’d send you.
today, he needed to celebrate an achievement with a few friends and, of course, you accompanied them.
the night was winding down and you could tell seungcheol was way out of his tipsy range and much further into his nearly incapacitated range.
he had his head on your shoulder while you had an arm around his shoulder, slowly rubbing his arm while you talked to his friends across the table.
you noticed him fumbling for his phone and you looked down at him quizzically.
“what’re you doing, cheol?” you asked gently, while he pulled up his text messages.
“i need to text my partner…” he mumbled, “need to tell them how much i love them…” he said quietly, tapping on his keyboard and sending nearly incoherent texts to you.
you just played along with it for the time being, knowing that sooner or later he’d realize you weren’t responding and that you’re right there.
[cheolie] 2:02am: kiss yu so much
2:02am: babyyyyyy i lovd u
2:02am: you aee rhe lifht of my life
2:03am: why ru not repsodning to me?????
2:04am: are uu mad at me :((((
your phone consistently buzzed with notifications and you couldn’t help but smile at the texts that came from your boyfriend.
“guys… i think y/n is mad at me,” seungcheol finally said, slowly but surely sitting up and bringing his head off your shoulder.
your friends from across the table just looked between the two of you and laughed.
“what makes you think that?” you asked curiously, putting a hand on his thigh.
seungcheol just gasped at your contact on him and quickly pushed himself the furthest he could get away from you. “what are you doing! i have a partner! only they get to touch me!” he nearly shouted, pressing himself against the wall as if he could materialize into it.
once again, you all laughed at his antics. he, on the other hand, seemed utterly disgusted at the thought of someone who wasn’t you being near him. he squeezed his eyes shut and refused to look at you.
“cheol, baby, look at me,” you cooed gently, scooting over to him and trying to get him to face you.
“no! only my partner gets to call me that! can’t look at anyone else, don’t want to.” he said firmly, turning his chin up like an upset toddler.
when you realized this was going to take a little longer than usual you looked over at your friends with a smile and motioned that they could leave. “don’t worry we’ll pay,” you reminded them, knowing that seungcheol always wanted to be the one to pay anyways.
after they left it was just you and seungcheol at the table, him still refusing to look at you.
you decided to use your only option and pulled out your phone to text him.
[you] 2:17am: i’m not mad baby
2:17am: can you please look at the person sitting next to you?
when his phone buzzed with your notification he gasped and quickly pulled it out to check, a frown on his face when he read your last message.
[cheolie] 2:17am: but it’s not u :(
2:17am: only wanna look at you
his texts made your heart warm, but you still had a mission to accomplish.
[you] 2:17am: just look baby i promise it’ll be okay
at your coaxing message he finally put his phone down and slowly looked over at you. the gears were shifting in his head as he took in your face, slowly recognizing you.
“y/n!” he exclaimed, finally leaving his place against the wall and scooting right up against you, throwing his arms around your waist and nuzzling into your neck. “i didn’t know you were here! someone was trying to touch me and i told them no! i only have eyes for you.” he said sweetly, looking up at you with big glassy eyes and a sweet pout, waiting for your praise.
you just laughed at his antics and brought a hand to his hair to smooth it down. “i’m glad, baby, are you ready to go home?” you asked, noticing how his eyes were already shutting as he found his comfy spot in the crook of your neck.
“‘m ready, wanna go to sleep,” he said with a yawn, an iron grip around your waist as his voice got slower, signifying that he was close to sleep.
“let’s go then,” you said, tapping his shoulder as to make him get up, but he wouldn’t budge, “seungcheol, you big baby, you’re going to have to walk yourself,” you teased, poking his side and trying to shove him a bit so he sat upright.
“don’t wanna,” he said stubbornly, leaning even further into you as you tried to get him up.
you sighed and shook your head, “we can’t stay here all night, don’t you want to sleep in our nice bed?” you tried to coax again, you both knew he would be much comfier at home.
“fine.” he said with a huff, knowing you got him there.
he slowly unwrapped himself from you and stood up, swaying a bit as he tried to steady himself. you, on the other hand, came up next to him and grabbed one of his arms to sling over your shoulder, hoping you could provide some type of balance to his walking.
as you exited the restaurant you quickly paid at the front with seungcheol’s card and made your way to the car, dumping him in the front seat and fastening his seatbelt for him.
before you could close the door he held up a hand and motioned for you to come closer to him. you decided to entertain him and moved closer. when you were only inches from his face he decided it was enough and looked at you with love struck eyes, surveying every inch of your face.
“can’t believe you’re mine, you’re so perfect,” he mumbled, pecking your lips quickly with a little giggle.
this made your cheeks heat up just a little bit and you shook your head. “you’re sappy when you’re drunk, huh?” you teased, leaning down and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
“it’s because i loooove you,” he said honestly, anyone would be able to tell that from how he was looking at you, as if you hung the moon and the stars.
you held up your finger to have him give you a moment and you shut his door, quickly rounding the car and slipping into the drivers seat. once you had fastened your seatbelt and started the car you looked back over at him.
“i love you too,” you whispered, but he was already fast asleep.
bonus:
the next morning seungcheol woke up with a pounding headache and threw the covers over his head to hide from the rays of light seeping through your curtains.
“morning, sunshine,” you teased, rolling over and making yourself comfortable next to him since you’d been awake for some time.
“morning, baby, my head hurts like hell…” he groaned, voice thick with sleep.
you pointed to the nightstand nearest to him that had a glass of water and pain relievers on it.
“you’re a godsend,” he said honestly, quickly downing the pills and water before settling back into bed next to you.
“fun night?” you asked with a little laugh, not quite sure how much he remembered of anything.
“mhm…” he trailed off, playing with your hair absentmindedly, “i didn’t do anything embarrassing, right?” he asked, knowing that when he couldn’t remember the night he usually did something unusual.
“well, you forgot who i was and wouldn’t even look at me until i texted you and said it was okay.” you explained with a laugh.
seungcheol looked at you with wide eyes and buried his head into a pillow.
“i’m never drinking again.”
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greg-montgomery · 9 months ago
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Texting bf's dad hotch by accident when you're drunk and trying to get your bf to pick you up...
this idea >>>>
also aaron has another son besides jack in this
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
They were just a few margaritas. You didn’t expect a casual girl’s night to turn into a pounding headache and a room that was spinning around you.
It was fun and your friends wanted to stay longer, but your upset stomach would not let you enjoy the rest of your night. You were more than ready to get out of there.
“I’m gonna ask my boyfriend to come pick me up,” you told your friends, who seemed a bit too drunk to process your words.
As carefully as you could, you made your way outside the bar, and took your phone out of your purse. Going through your contacts you stopped when you spotted your boyfriend’s name.
‘Babe can you come and pick me up? I can’t drive’
You hit send, and right after, you shared your location with him.
‘I’ll be there in 20.’
Oh.
That was it? No whining? No scolding you for drinking too much? No complaining about you being an inconvenience?
It was a full moon; maybe he was going through some kind of transformation.
You closed your eyes for a bit and rested your head against the wall. The minutes would simply not pass fast enough. I’m never drinking again, you thought.
Your phone buzzed in your hands and a new message flashed across the screen.
‘I’m here.’
You were ready to lift your head and search for his car, but your eyes were glued on the contact name that appeared above the text you had just received.
It didn’t say Mark. It said Mark’s dad.
No way, you thought. No way, I asked Aaron Hotchner to come pick me up from a bar because I’m wasted.
But that was exactly what you had done.
The word embarrassment didn’t even begin to cover the range of emotions you were feeling at that moment; especially as you watched him get out of his car and walking towards you.
Why did he have to look so good? As if drunk texting him wasn’t embarrassing enough, he had to look like a god in a suit that cost more than your monthly rent.
‘Mr. Hotchner,” you said, when he approached you. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to text you. I wanted to text Mark, but I got confused and God…I’m so, so dizzy.”
 His expression stayed serious, but he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Let’s get in the car.”
Aaron opened the door for you and held your hand so you could get inside. You expected him to close the door but instead he leaned over you and fastened your seatbelt for you.
Your heart started jumping around at the smell of his cologne and the feeling of his face so close to yours. You weren’t proud of it, but Aaron Hotchner was your forbidden desire. And the star of more dirty dreams than you’d ever dare to admit.
His thick fingers brushed against your stomach as he made sure that your seatbelt was tight enough to keep you safe.
You shut your eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm your body down.
“Are you alright?” he asked, softly.
His deep voice was the cherry on top that had you melting on your seat.
“Yeah,” you answered weakly. “Just dizzy.”
He closed the door and made his way to the other side, and soon he was on the driver’s seat.
There was a small water bottle in the cup holder and he picked it up. “Here,” he offered, “Have some water. It’ll help.”
“Thank you,” you said taking it from his hands, and shivered at the contact when your fingers brushed.
The bottle was half empty which meant he already had some of it before you. He had wrapped his lips around it; around where your lips were now.
You devoured any water that was left and realized how bad you needed to get hydrated. “I needed that.”
“I can tell,” he laughed. “Come on,” he added, and started the car. “Let’s take you home.”
“Were you asleep?”
“Hm?””
“When I texted you. Did I wake you up?” you asked with a worried tone.
“I rarely sleep, honey. You don’t have to worry about me.”
You pressed your thighs together at the sound of the pet name and the sight of his hands around the wheel.
“Thank you for coming. I really appreciate it.”
“Of course,” he said. “You needed me.”
“I did,” you said, breathless. “Mark would…”
You paused.
“Go on.”
You hesitated. “He would have probably told me to call a cab.”
“He’d let his girl get in the car with a stranger in the middle of the night? When she’s drunk?”
“Sometimes he gets upset with things like that. And, listen, I get it. I can be trouble sometimes.”
“Oh you can be,” Aaron said. “But not for the reasons you think.”
“What do you mean?”
He ignored your question, but it didn’t take too long before he spoke again.
“I’m gonna have a word with him. He’s not treating you well.”
“No, please don’t.”
The only thing that talk would achieve would be Mark getting upset with you.
There was a long pause, and you took advantage of the silence to stare at him. His side profile, his hands, his arms. He was perfect.
‘I wish Mark was more like you,” you said before thinking any better.
“Sweetheart, you shouldn’t say things like that.”
“I could say way worse.”
He chuckled. “Unless you want both of us to get in trouble, don’t.”
“But-”
Aaron reached out to hold your hand, making you go quiet. “You’re drunk. But what I do want you to know is that I’m always here, okay?”
“Okay.”
He squeezed your hand and didn’t let go the entire ride home.
part 2
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axiina · 4 months ago
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I think I'm finally worn
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Pairing: Aegon Targaryen x wife!reader
Summary: Aegon managed to keep up appearances for a long time, a mask behind which he hid everything he felt... until finally, he could no longer do so.
Themes: angst, comfort
Warnings: Delulu fanon Aegon, toxic relationship, addictions, depression, mental break down
Author's note: In anticipation of the fifth episode I come with a short angst with Aegon. The scene where he cried and Alicent came out destroyed me, so here we are with comforting our broken boy
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Aegon felt awful.
He had no idea if it was due to the excess of alcohol he was pouring into himself every day, or perhaps because of how he was slowly spiralling down. In truth, he felt that his whole life was one big failure heading towards a final doom.
He had always shown by his behaviour that he was not afraid of this moment or perhaps even looking forward to it. The reality, however, was different.
He was afraid. He was so damn scared.
Every moment when he wasn't drinking himself till passing out was a nightmare. He can't even remember how much time has passed since the last time he was sober.
It was easier that way. The days passed quickly and without unnecessary thoughts. Between the drinking and the whores during his days, there was no room for reflection.
Today, however, was worse, but Aegon couldn't tell why.
No one particularly bothered him. His mother didn't pop up with another argument about what a failure he was, and his father...his father ignored him as usual.
And yet, this strange feeling had been with him since the morning. Hopelessness and overwhelm. This state was already familiar to him, and yet today, it seemed several times worse.
It stifled him and left him unable to breathe. His eyes would close with tears when he least expected it, and his clenched throat made it impossible to drink.
Until he couldn't hold it in any longer.
He didn't even notice when his wife entered his chamber, immersed in an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. Aegon was slumped in his seat, weeping without even knowing why. He was completely defenceless like a small child.
He needed something to soothe the tangle of emotions that, like ties, wrapped around his body, restraining it painfully. His skin seemed to burn, to ache. He felt like scratching it until it bled until it finally stopped.
Make it finally stop.
Aegon looked up at woman in his chamber and realized he couldn't do it. He just didn't have the strength. His wife's worried gaze only made him more upset. He hated the feeling that she could see him now, so vulnerable and broken, crying like a baby. Aegon didn't want this.
And yet, on the other hand, his heart was screaming and begging for at least a little comfort.
"I don't...I don't know..." He tried to speak, but his voice broke. He tried again, but it was clear that he was unable to explain.
Aegon took a deep breath, but after a moment it turned into a sob. He cursed inside, but it was too late to fight already. He felt pathetic, ashamed. But at the same time, he couldn't stand to be alone now. Aegon didn't want to be left alone with all these thoughts tormenting him.
"Please," he said finally, not looking at her. "Don't leave."
He was terrified by the mere thought that she could leave now.
As if waiting for this small sign of comfort, Aegon immediately leaned into her embrace when she walked closer to him in silence and pulled him closer to her body. He rested his forehead against her stomach, his arms snaking around her hips as tightly as possible. He clutched at her dress, his fingers digging into the fabric like a drowning man grasping for anything solid to keep him afloat.
The tears were streaming down his face as he wept like a little boy.
All the years of disappointment, all the suppressed anger, all the pain and despair that he had stubbornly hidden behind a mask of a heartless rake.
But at this moment, the only reality that mattered was her. Her warm and gentle caress on his hair, soft kisses on top of his head.
He just needed her to be there with him.
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simjaexy · 4 months ago
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𝙏𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙈𝙚 𝙀𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝 | 𝙋.𝙎.
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Pairing ⇀ Bf! Park Sunghoon x Fem! Reader
Synopsis ⇀ English was not Sunghoon first language so it was understandable that he didn’t like it. So instead, you teach Sunghoon English, and when he gets it right, he gets a kiss.
Genre ⇀ Fluff
Notes ⇀ Sunghoon english is cute and it makes me upset that he doesn’t realize how good he’s doing.
Masterlist here
Sunghoon sat at the desk, his brow furrowed in concentration as he stared at the pages of the English textbook.
Despite his best efforts, the words seemed to blur together, making it difficult for him to grasp their meanings. He sighed in frustration, running a hand through his hair.
Just then, you walked into the room, carrying a tray with two cups of steaming coffee.
You placed the tray on the table and took a seat next to him, offering a warm smile, "Ready for another lesson?"
Sunghoon looked up, his expression softening at the sight of you, "Yeah, but it's so hard. I don't know if I'll ever get the hang of it."
You chuckled softly, patting his hand reassuringly, "Don't worry, Sunghoon. We'll take it one step at a time. Remember, practice makes perfect."
Sunghoon nodded, his determination renewed by your encouragement. You suddenly got an idea.
“How about if you get a right, you can get a kiss?” You said. Sunghoon looked up from the textbook, intrigued.
“If I get it right I get a kiss?” He muttered. You nodded. He grinned.
“Okay.”
You opened the textbook to the page you had marked earlier, pointing to a simple sentence, "Let's start with this one. Can you read it out loud for me?"
He took a deep breath and began to read, his voice hesitant but steady, "The cat... is... on the... table."
You clapped your hands in delight. "Great job! Now, let's try to understand what it means, 'The cat is on the table.' Can you picture that in your mind?"
Sunghoon closed his eyes for a moment, then nodded, "Yes, I can see it. The cat is sitting on the table."
"Exactly!" You beamed at him, you then gave him a peck. He smiled shyly and looked down.
"Now, let's try another one. 'The dog is under the chair.' Can you read that for me?"
Sunghoon repeated the sentence, his pronunciation improving with each word. You could see the spark of understanding in his eyes as he visualized the scene, "The dog is under the chair."
"Perfect! You're doing amazing, Sunghoon." You praised him, noticing the way his confidence was growing with each successful attempt, you then gave him another peck. This time he was ready, but you backed away causing him to pout.
"Let's keep going. How about this one: 'The book is next to the lamp.'"
As Sunghoon read the sentence, you could see the determination in his eyes. He was truly giving it his all, and it warmed your heart to see his progress, "The book is next to the lamp."
"Yes! You're getting it!" You cheered, feeling a sense of pride in his achievements. As you pecked his lips you noticed he was still pouting.
“Why do you only give me a peck?” He muttered. You giggle.
"Now, let's try something a bit more challenging. If you do good I’ll give you a full kiss. 'The boy is playing with his friends in the park.'"
Sunghoon took a moment to gather his thoughts before reading the sentence out loud.
His voice was more confident now, and he even managed to add a bit of expression to his words, "The boy is playing with his friends in the park."
You clapped your hands together, unable to contain your excitement, "Sunghoon, that was fantastic! You're improving so much!"
He smiled shyly, his cheeks tinged with a hint of pink, "Thanks to you. You're a great teacher."
You felt a flutter in your chest at his words, your heart swelling with affection, "And you're a great student. I'm so proud of you, Sunghoon."
You leaned towards him and kissed him softly, he sighed into the kiss and cupped your cheek.
As the lesson continued with longer kisses, the room was filled with laughter and lighthearted conversation.
By the end of the session, Sunghoon's confidence had soared, and he was able to read and understand several sentences with ease.
You closed the textbook, feeling a sense of accomplishment, "You did amazing today, Sunghoon. I'm so proud of you."
He looked at you with a grateful smile, his eyes shining with appreciation, "I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for being so patient with me."
You reached out and squeezed his hand, your heart filled with warmth, "It's my pleasure, Sunghoon. Anytime you need help, I'll be here for you."
You suddenly felt a soft press on your lips, Sunghoons lips slowly moving against yours. You flutter your eyes shut, enjoying the moment.
He broke the kiss off with a grin, “Which is better, my lips or my english?”
You scoffed and pushed him away, “Let’s just continue.”
He let out a cute genuine laugh. One of your favorite ones. You hid your smile with your hand.
As you both sat there enjoying your moments you knew Sunghoon will know English in no time, all thanks to you.
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ryukzakiii · 11 months ago
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distraction ⭑ l. lawliet
summary: during a late night working on the kira case with L, his distractions become too overpowering and the two of you decide to blow off some steam.
( part 2 here ! )
pairing: l. lawliet x fem!reader
warnings: SMUT!! MINORS DNI!!! this gets a little filthy actually. virgin!L, praise, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your willy), L is needy as hell, also he swears like 3 times i think so
authors note: hiiii this isn’t proofread and it’s 4am enjoy
smut under the cut‼️
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every night working with you was a long one. in the beginning it was because, try as he might, L could not seem to get you to remember the simplest things you were supposed to do to help him out. you’d forget how many sugars he took in his tea, or forget where you had filed something away the night before, whatever it was it always got on L’s nerves.
not like he could say something to you, he was always fearful that he would hurt your feelings or that you would think he was much more upset than he really was, and that would impact your work.
nowadays however, now that your working together was no longer a new thing and the both of you had gotten into more of a routine, L began to attribute the long nights to simply one thing, you.
he wasn’t sure exactly why, but he found himself distracted from the task at hand most nights of the week, usually thinking instead about how nice it is that you help him out with so much and how enjoyable it is to work with somebody as smart as you. right now in particular though, he was realizing just the reason you were becoming such a distraction.
thanks to his crunched posture, you were blissfully unaware of the growing distraction that laid underneath the zipper of his jeans.
when you’d first joined him that evening, the sight of you descending from your room adorned in pyjamas that left alarmingly little to the imagination, only being aided by a knit cardigan left hanging open, a sudden pulse shot through his body and left L truly praying you couldn’t see the tent forming in his pants. it wasn’t as if L didn’t realize before how attractive you are, but things like that had never affected him the way they were now.
if she would just button up that sweater. maybe then i’d be able to get some work done.
“hellooo?” the sweet sound of your voice interrupted his thoughts, “ryuzaki, did you hear a word i just said?”
“er- no, my apologies. what was it you were saying?”
you playfully rolled your eyes at him and stood as you spoke again, “i said, i’m going to make another tea. do you want anything?”
just to make this throbbing go away so i can get back to work. “no, thank you. hurry back though will you? i’m not getting through this as quickly as i’d like to so i’ll need as much of your help as i can get.”
he watched you hurry out of the room to make your tea and tried hard not to take notice of how little the back of your shorts covered or the sway in your hips as you walked. he placed a hand over his clothed erection and allowed his head to fall back onto the chair, a quick sigh escaping him at the accidental friction.
his few moments of solace came to an end quickly when you came back into the room, giving him little time to sit up and readjust before you took your seat in the chair next to him. almost immediately you scooted over closer and held out a closed fist in front of him, “give me your hand.”
L stretched his hand out underneath yours, a small wrapped candy falling into his palm.
“i grabbed one for you from the bowl in the kitchen.” you said as you unwrapped one of your own.
he watched carefully as the candy brushed your lips before you gently placed it on your tongue, his breathing steadily becoming more heavy and intense and he could feel every pump of blood circulating through his veins, “thank you.”
“are you alright? you look a little flushed. i can turn down the heat if you want, i did turn it up a bit a little while ago.” you started to stand.
“no!” the tips of his ears began to burn with embarrassment as he quickly stood in her place, urging her back into her chair so she wouldn’t be able to see anything, “uh- no, thank you. you just sat back down, i can get it.”
L tried to steady his breathing on the walk over to the thermostat, taking this time with his back turned to attempt to shift his erection in a way it would go unseen. hesitating to turn back around, he scurried back over to his chair with his head down and hoped to whatever god might be listening that you didn’t get a chance to see.
god, how unprofessional. if she noticed, our professional relationship will be tarnished indefinitely and she’d never trust me again. not that i would really blame her, i mean how would that seem, she’s alone at night with her boss and he’s sporting an erection.
unfortunately for L, you had noticed, you actually had noticed back when you got up to get your tea but you weren’t sure if you were just fantasizing imagining things. you were sure of what you saw on his strange walk back to his seat.
while he was lost in his own worry, L failed to notice you moving your chair so your arms were practically touching until he felt you peering in front of him.
he snapped his head back, “what are you doing?”
“just looking at what you’ve got over here. if you weren’t hogging it the whole time i wouldn’t have to invade your space.”
L clutched his knees closer to his chest, at the point of being unable to hide his unsteady and shallow breaths. he wasn’t sure what to do, or what to say to get out of the position he was now in to decide what happened next.
you turned around to look at him, presumably asking him something about what you’d just read. he tried to hear you, he really did, but over his pounding heartbeat and mind full of thoughts all he could do was watch your mouth move in what felt like slow motion.
“i’m sorry, can you please say that again?” he could barely hear his own muffled words. you were so close to him and he could see directly down your top from where he was sat, not that it helped much that you were leaned directly into his eye-line.
you placed your hand on his knee and he thought he was going to throw his stomach up, “i just asked what you thought about these men from the yotsuba group. ryuzaki, seriously is everything okay?”
he wanted to answer but before he could even try you spoke again, “maybe you need to put the case down for a while, y’know, blow off some steam.”
finally, he looked you in the eye, “please forgive me.”
before you got a chance to ask what for, both of his hands held your face as he leaned forward, planting a hesitant but desperate kiss on your lips. he was sure that the moment he pulled away, your involvement in this case and his life was going to crumble in front of him.
to his surprise, he barely had a second to take a breath before you were gripping onto his shirt and pulling him back in. every nerve in his body felt like it was on fire, you were practically on top of him and he couldn’t help but try and pull you in closer, reaching for your jaw and your waist and practically anything he could get his hands on. his body was moving by itself and solely on instinct, making him feel a little self conscious about if he was doing the right things. his mind was soon put at ease when he felt his arms fall slack and your weight shift over him, the closer you got the better. you pulled away just slightly to take a breath and his legs fell to a normal position, hurriedly kissing you again and hoping you would just understand and sit down so he didn’t have to try and speak right now.
“ryuzaki—“
“L.” he interjected, “please i— please call me L. just here.”
you smiled, “L, are you sure this is alright?”
“one hundred percent.” his hands still holding onto your waist for dear life, you held his face with yours as you closed the small gap that remained between the two of you. he let out a small, involuntary groan when he felt your thighs press around his hips, “i’m going to need some guidance here, as i’m sure you’ve guessed this isn’t something i have any prior experience with.”
“don’t worry, i’ll teach you.” gently, you began to grind down on him, earning a deep sigh from L and his hands making their way from your waist down to your hips, using his white-knuckled grip to help you slowly along.
“that- that feels incredible. y/n- please i don’t know if i can hold out.” his cheeks were flushed bright red—probably the most colour you’d ever seen on his face—and he looked down to where the only things standing in his way was his jeans and those godforsaken pyjama shorts you wore, “not that i want to go quickly through this, in fact that’s less than ideal it’s just— this is getting rather painful. i need— shit, can i please, you know.”
to put him out of his misery, you hushed him with a kiss and got to work on undoing the button on his pants. you’d barely gotten it undone when his hands pushed yours out of the way, pushing both his pants and boxers down just enough for his cock to spring free.
you were glad you were already sitting down. not that you were expecting to be disappointed by the size of course, but just seeing it now made you feel a little nervous. drool nearly threatened to escape your mouth before you snapped back into it, making a mental note that you would have to do that another time.
L looked up to you, one hand pushing your shorts to the side trying not to cum right there when he realized you hadn’t been wearing underwear and the other slowly stroking himself, awaiting your approval.
the look on his usually-blank face would’ve been enough to make anybody weak, “L, please.”
he wasted no time in lifting your hips up and pushing himself in, pausing after just the tip to breathe and calm himself down. you could feel his hands trembling during his failed attempt to keep his composure, opting to ease yourself onto him instead.
he let out a shaky breath that caught in his throat when you’d fully sat back down. you yourself were trying to breathe through the intense feelings already taking over your whole body, you weren’t even sure you’d be able to take him fully, and now that you had you felt more full than you ever had in your life.
“let me know when it’s okay to move,” you whispered by his ear, “we’ll go as slow as you need.”
his hands returned to their spot on your hips, “dear god, move.”
you started off slow, his cock only coming out about an inch or two before pushing right back in. his head was spinning, you were invading his every sense. all he could smell was your shampoo, the taste of the candy you’d eaten still remaining both of your tongues. all he wanted to do was show you what he was feeling. he didn’t have the words to even begin to try and explain it. as if they had a mind of their own, his hips began to meet your movements, quickly picking up in speed and overtaking your control.
“fuck! that’s it— L, please.” you couldn’t say much more than that, every word being punctuated with a hushed moan, but the praise drove him crazy. any hesitation he’d had before was forgotten about, and he let his instincts take over. after all, he’d learned to always trust his instincts, why would now be any different?
he knew he wasn’t going to last very long, yet he couldn’t help pushing your hips down to meet his thrusts, hitting your g-spot with every one and making you practically cry out. if it weren’t for the quiet chants of ‘please’ he’d have thought you really were crying.
you could feel your orgasm approaching soon, and as if like he could read your mind L lifted a hand to push your shirt up above your chest and dipped his head down to take one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking so gently compared to the harshness of his cock.
your arms wrapped around his head, hands tugging at the roots of his hair which earned you a deep groan into your chest. with every thrust you were getting closer and closer, his mouth having moved on to kiss your neck with the same desperation he’s harboured since the first time.
“i’m so close, god please don’t stop. —feels so good.” you begged, throat dry and still panting and holding his hair for dear life.
“fuck,” he began losing the rhythm he had been trying to keep to, “i’m— i’m going to orgasm. i need you, please.”
his hips started to stutter as he reached his peak, panting and whining into your ear and wrapping his arms tightly around your back. the feeling of you coming undone and squeezing around him just made it that much more intense, his face felt so hot he buried it into the crook of your neck.
by the time both of your movements had come to a halt, he was laying back in the chair clutching onto you, head still held tightly to your chest and cock beginning to go soft inside you. L never wanted to move.
the embarrassment and nervousness was slowly returning and he felt his cheeks get hot again, so he tried to focus on the sweet smell of your shampoo that engulfed him to calm himself.
after a few long, perfect minutes, you broke the silence, “was that okay?”
“that was amazing.” his head remained tucked into your neck, “i’m sorry if i wasn’t very good at it, and that i couldn’t last any longer.”
“don’t be ridiculous, L it was fantastic. we’ll have plenty of time to build up your stamina if you really want to.”
and just like that at the thought that this could happen to him more than once, he felt the blood rush back into his cock and you suddenly remembered something you’d wanted to do earlier.
“why don’t you let me show you how good you made me feel, huh?”
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girlgenius1111 · 4 months ago
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healing
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alexia putellas x reader you don't like to admit when something is wrong, alexia knows this. she also knows that with a a scheduled surgery coming up for you, she'd have to wade through these hidden emotions as best she could to support you. basically, r has a breast reduction surgery, and alexia does her best to take care of her, even when r is a bit resistant. this is, obviously, very self indulgent. potentially the most self indulgent fic i've ever written. it's very reflective of my experiences recently so. you know. i hope you enjoy. hugeeeeee thanks to @pickledwoso who sent the request in and gave me sooo many ideas to work with.
------
You sat up with a loud gasp, clutching at your chest. The specifics of the nightmare evaded you instantly, but you knew it had been horrifying. Filled with needles and doctors and knives and pain. 
“Amor?” Alexia mumbled groggily, emerging from where she was curled up under the covers, despite it being a warm evening.  She had barely been dragged from sleep by the sound you had made, only one eye cracking open to look at you.“You okay?” 
Unable to say much in response, you could only whimper quietly and shake your head. Alexia was wide awake in a second, sitting up and tilting your face towards her.
 “Ale-” You cut yourself off with a sob, leaning forward to bury your face in your girlfriend’s soft sleep shirt. 
Shaking once more, Alexia pulled you into her, cradling your body close. “What is wrong, mi amor?” 
“I-I… nightmare. I had a nightmare.” You admitted, too far gone into panic to try to hide your anxiety from your girlfriend. Alexia didn’t say much for a while, just nodding her head to show that she’d heard you, before she got to work calming you down. She did it rather easily, reminding you to breathe, stroking her fingers through your hair. She was soft, gentle, loving, and her affection bled through every light touch. Alexia always cared for you so easily; she made it seem simple. 
“Easy, just like that amor. In and out, slowly. It was just a dream, you’re right here with me. You’re okay.” 
It took a few minutes for you to calm down, and even still, you were still practically vibrating with anxiety. Alexia shifted over so that you were curled against her chest, and she could lean back against the headboard. With your face barely visible buried into her shirt, your girlfriend couldn’t really tell if you were still crying or not. Breathing steadier, for sure, but the sniffles coming from you every so often told Alexia that you were still very upset. 
The blonde began to run her fingers through your hair, massaging gently at your scalp. “Do you want to talk about it?” 
You were quiet for so long, she was sure you’d fallen back asleep. “I don’t remember what happened. It was about the surgery I think.” You murmured finally. “I’m a little nervous, I guess.” 
Alexia repressed a sigh. It was beyond clear to her, and had been for weeks, that you were more than mildly anxious about your scheduled breast reduction. She’d been waiting, less and less patiently, for you to just tell her how scared you were, but now the night before your surgery, she knew she couldn’t let this go on any longer. 
Wrapping both her arms tight around you, she pulled you even closer before she spoke. “It seems like you are maybe more than a little nervous, hmm?”
“Why do you say that?”
“You seem completely terrified, mi amor.”
“I am nervous, but I know I want to do this. I’m sure, Ale, I’ve made my mind up, and I-”
“You can still be nervous, even if you feel confident in your decision. That’s okay, amor. Why would you think it’s not?” 
“I… I just didn’t want you to try to change my mind.” 
“Why would I do that?” She sounded confused, and logically, you knew why. Ale was a deeply respectful person, and she’d never ever presume to tell you what to do with your body. Ever.
 No reply came, and Alexia realized you’d begun to tremble again. Frowning, she gently guided your chin up so she could look into your eyes, less than content with the anxiety so clear on your face. “Amor, talk to me. Please.” 
“What if you don’t like them? You know… after?” 
Alexia could have laughed at the completely ridiculous notion, but she saw the wet shine in your eye that told her you were completely serious. “Do not be silly. I will love them. ” She insisted. 
“You love them now.” You argued. “They won’t be the same.” 
Carefully, Alexia took your face in between her hands, insistently gazing down at you. “I know. They’ll be different. They won’t hurt you so much anymore, and that is all I want. Nothing will make me happier than you feeling better. I will love them, just like I love you.” She promised, her voice low and soothing. “You could get them removed completely, you could do anything, and it wouldn’t change how I feel about you. This is your body, mi amor. I love your body, and I will love it even when it changes.” 
“But… it doesn’t have to change.” Chewing on your lip, you took in your girlfriend’s completely puzzled expression. 
“I don’t understand. It doesn’t have to change, but you want it to, no?”
“I… don’t you think I’m being dramatic about this? A whole surgery just for some back pain…” Your words were not things you really believed. You knew you weren’t being dramatic, and you knew you were getting this done because of more than just back pain, although if you had, that would have been okay too. You’d just spent the last years hearing from your family and your doctors that you were being dramatic about your pain and the issues that came with having an absurdly large chest. Even getting a surgeon to agree to do the surgery was difficult, though you wouldn’t have even gotten there at all without Alexia. 
Not until you were with her, did you find yourself being believed. When you said you were hurting, she believed you. She wasn’t skeptical that you were exaggerating, or just looking for attention. It was this earnest belief that had you reconsidering, and ultimately deciding on, a breast reduction. Now, though, the years that people had spent belittling you and your struggles were rushing back to you, and you very suddenly felt like you were being ridiculous. 
The lights flickered on in the bedroom, and Alexia rolled back over to you. Having been lost in your thoughts, you’d missed her roll away to turn the bedside lamp on, and now she was studying you with a focused look on her face; one you knew to mean she was concerned. 
Her hand found yours, and she absentmindedly pulled the shoulder of your shirt back up as she spoke. “It is not a little back pain. It is debilitating. This affects your whole life, amor, you’ve wanted this for years. You know you aren’t being dramatic. Where is this coming from, hmm?” 
There was a deep reluctance in you to tell Alexia what you’d been through in the past with doctors and your family alike. You weren’t sure where it came from, or why it was so persistent, but you were too exhausted to fight it. Too terrified to even think of doing something that would make your anxiety spike. 
Your girlfriend seemed to sense this reluctance, because she brought your intertwined hands to her lips, leaving a kiss on your knuckles. A part of you had expected her to be annoyed for not talking, but another part of you knew better. Alexia didn’t get mad about stuff like that. All she had for you now was a sweet smile, and another kiss for your cheek that had you blushing unnecessarily. 
“We don’t have to talk about it.” She promised, mumbling the words against your face as she interspersed kisses in between her words. “You are not being dramatic. Your body changing does not bother me, could never bother me. I love you, and everything is going to be okay.” 
Entire body seemingly deflating, you leaned heavily into your girlfriend, torn between exhaustion, anxiety, and the overwhelming feeling of being adored. It wasn’t one were sure you’d ever get used to. With your face tucked into Alexia’s chest, it was hard to feel anything but safe and reassured, so you focused on the soft fabric of her shirt against your cheek, instead of what would be occurring the following morning. 
“I love you.” You murmured, burrowing in closer when your girlfriend tightened her arms around you. “Ale?”
“Hmm?”
“Will you come with me tomorrow? And stay?” You hated the vulnerability seeping from your words, didn’t want Alexia to ever see you as pathetically as you saw yourself. 
She only nodded, though, rubbing your back slowly. “Of course, cariño.” 
“It’s not too late to get out of training?” 
Alexia gave you a soft smile, though slightly embarrassed, rubbing her thumb across your cheek affectionately. “I am already called out, mi amor. I was going to stay anyway.”
“You were?” You asked with a shy grin. 
Alexia nodded enthusiastically. “Of course. I thought you might change your mind, and if you didn’t, well… I would have just pretended to go to training. I want to be there for you, and I would not be able to focus anyway.” 
You were overcome, for a moment, with affection for your girlfriend. She always seemed to anticipate what you’d need even before you knew herself. There was something about not only being loved, but known by Alexia that made you feel like the most special person in the world. You felt it even more when she placed the gentlest of kisses on your lips, and smiled at you just enough that the dimples on her cheeks appeared. 
“I am so lucky to have you.” You murmured, feeling emotion tug at you once again. 
Alexia shook her head with a grin, almost exasperated. “It always amazes me that you think you are the lucky one, when it is me. Because you are perfect and beautiful and I love you.” 
Before you could reply, and begin a back and forth of who was luckier, Alexia had pulled you to lay down practically on top of her, stretching her long arm to turn the bedside lamp off. 
“You need to rest, amor.” She insisted. And though when you’d woken from the nightmare, you had been sure you wouldn’t be sleeping any more tonight, there was something so soothing about being held so securely against your girlfriend. Your eyes began to shut of their own accord when she began to run her fingers through your hair, and you wondered briefly if there was anything Alexia couldn’t do.
------
The following morning came much too quickly. The first alarm went off at 6, only rousing you. Knowing you still had 15 minutes before you had to get up and get ready, you curled yourself back into Alexia’s side, shutting your eyes tightly and pretending that today was no different than any other day. Of course, the persistent anxious shaking of your body woke your girlfriend, though, an alarm in and of itself. 
It took her a second to realize what had woken her, as she couldn’t hear the alarm going off. Soon, though, she processed the way you were clinging to her, feeling her heart simultaneously melt and break.
“Oh, mi amor.” Alexia sighed, sliding her hand up the back of your shirt and splaying it across your spine, knowing you liked to feel her skin on yours. 
“Sorry I woke you early.” You whispered. 
“Don’t be sorry. I am always happy for 15 extra minutes to lay with you.” She said sweetly, tucking her face into your hair and sighing contentedly. She knew that if she kept herself calm, and didn’t react to your anxiety with her own, you’d be able to stay calmer. 
It felt like only minutes later that your second alarm was going off, and you groaned into your girlfriend’s chest as it did. Extracting herself from your rather tenacious grip, Alexia quickly rose from the bed and walked around to your side, grabbing your hand before you could bury yourself under the covers. 
“No hiding, amor. Time to be brave for me, sí?” 
Not one to deny any of your girlfriend’s requests, you let her tug you from the bed with a pout, one she very determinedly kissed off your face. Once she was done with that, she pulled you into the bathroom. 
“Okay. Shower quickly, I will eat something, and then we leave at 7:03.” She said, as if that was a normal time to plan to leave. You were long used to Alexia’s strict punctuality, though, so you just shook your head fondly at her. It was only when she attempted to pull away from you that your anxiety really rose, and you clung onto her hand with a look of panic on your face. 
Alexia turned back to you, expression completely open, as if she was ready to do whatever you needed her to do to feel better. 
“Shower with me?” You asked shakily, looking up at your girlfriend with wide eyes. 
“Siempre, guapa.” 
Your movements were practically robotic as you undressed yourself and allowed Alexia to guide you into the shower. For a moment, you allowed yourself to just rest against her under the warm stream of water, forcing yourself to breathe in and out slowly. As always when you showered together, Alexia insisted on washing you herself. Somehow, she knew that you needed to use the special medical soap on your chest, but could use your regular body wash everywhere else. 
You thought you caught a glimpse of sadness as she gently washed over your chest, and she must have felt you stiffen under her hands, because she was tilting your chin up and looking down at you, forehead crinkled in concern. 
“Are you sure you won’t hate what I look like after?” You asked, voice wobbling. 
Your girlfriend’s face softened. “I am sure. I will love you all the same.”
“You won’t miss them?” 
“Oh I will miss them. I should say farewell, no? Goodbye,” Alexia said wistfully, cupping each of your breasts in her hands. “I will miss you, but I will be happy when you stop bothering my pretty girlfriend.” 
“Oh my god.” You rolled your eyes, flushing at the attention on your chest, but feeling your heart soar at how genuinely she seemed to mean what she was saying. You appreciated her honesty. It wouldn’t have been believable that she wouldn’t miss them at all; the blonde had made it very clear in your time together that she very much enjoyed them. But for Alexia, she’d happily give that up if it meant that you were happier and more comfortable. And then felt like another level of love she must have for you. 
 Alexia leaned down to kiss you again, this time a bit more intensely as the water rained down over your heads. 
She broke away after a minute, a satisfied smile on her face telling you she was pleased that she had successfully distracted you. And distracted, you were. 
“Do we have time to-”
“No.” Alexia said sternly. “That is why we made sure to have enough time last night. We will not be late because you are horny even after I made you co-”
“OKAY. I don’t want a reminder if I can’t really enjoy the reminder.” You argued, barely noticing how Alexia turned the shower off and wrapped you in a towel. She really was doing a good job distracting you, because the mere step forward in your morning routine didn’t make you nauseous like it normally would have. 
The rest of the morning, Alexia went out of her way to keep you distracted. Whether it was giving herself a beard with bubbles in the shower, or forcing you to have an impromptu dance party in the kitchen while she ate a quick breakfast, your girlfriend gave you very little time for your mind to wander. Once you were in the car, though, it was inevitable. You were on the way, and there was nothing else to think about. 
Alexia kept her hand on you throughout the ride, noticing as you grew quieter as she pulled out of the drive, and brushed a few tears away when you thought she wasn’t looking. 
“Alright, mi amor?” She checked, well aware that you were not even close to alright.
“I’m so scared.” You whispered, Alexia just barely hearing your voice over the hum of the car engine. She moved her hand from your bouncing knee to grab onto your hand, squeezing it three times. 
“I know. Everything is going to be okay, amor. They do this every day, you will be in such good hands.” 
“What if I wake up in the middle?”
“You will not.” She sounded so sure. 
“What if I don’t wake up at all?
“You will wake up.” Again, her voice was filled with confidence. Whether it was truly what she believed, or if she was just saying it for your sake, you didn’t know, but you appreciated it nonetheless. 
“What if something goes wrong and I come out with three boobs or something?” 
“I will buy a sewing machine, and get to work making bras for three boobs.” Alexia said seriously. 
You gave a wet laugh, wiping at your eyes. Alexia smiled at you happily, fixing her eyes back on the road as the light turned green. Her hand didn’t leave yours the rest of the way to the hospital. 
------
Without Alexia there with you, it was likely that you would have bolted out the front doors of the hospital within a few minutes of arriving. You weren’t alone, though, and Alexia began to resort to absolutely ridiculous tactics to distract you and see a smile on your face. 
First, she blew up a glove she found in the room you were brought to wait in and then let it fly all around. It wasn’t really funny but the way she released it, and then looked at you with a hopeful grin on her face made you laugh anyway. If you counted correctly she made six bad jokes when they made you take a pregnancy test, that had you giggling even though they were quite juvenile. As the nurse put your IV in, the blonde reminded you of the time she got stitches in her leg on the sidelines of the football pitch, in the middle of the game, going so far as to point out the scar on her shin that you’d seen many times before. This wasn’t really funny either, but the somewhat disturbed look on the nurse’s face was. 
She was goofy when you needed her to be, she was serious and listened carefully whenever anyone was telling her important information, and she didn’t let go of your hand for the entirety of the pre op process. The minute your heart began to pound in your chest, or tears began to well in your eyes, you’d feel her squeeze your hand, and feel inexplicably comforted. Realistically, you knew Alexia had no ability to keep you safe once you were in the operating room. Still, you had the overwhelming feeling that because she was here with you, nothing bad could happen. 
“Okay, it’s time.” The nurse said kindly, walking into the room just moments after the surgeon had left. He had drawn all over you while answering Alexia’s seemingly endless questions about your recovery. 
You looked at the blonde next to you, willing yourself to remain calm, breathe deeply. She leaned in, kissing you softly. Once on the lips, then once on each cheek. 
“I love you. You are going to do so well, mi amor. I will be right here when you wake up.” She promised, helping you to your feet and squeezing your hand one last time. “Brave for me, okay?” the last part was whispered just for you to hear, and you nodded.
You could be brave for her. For her, you could do anything. 
“I love you, Ale.” 
She smiled at you until you disappeared out of sight, finally allowing the anxiety she’d been repressing all morning to let itself be known. It was going to be a long three hours, and she’d known that. She was absolutely resolved not to let you see her own nerves, knowing they’d only make you feel worse. Already calling her Mami as she was led to the waiting room, she hoped she did a good job at making you feel more comfortable. And she hoped, more than anything, that you’d be okay. 
-------
It felt nearly impossible to keep your eyes open. They opened and closed of their own accord, the room a bit different every time. Very vaguely, you recognized the surgeon coming to talk to you, saying something about everything going well. A nurse asked you about pain, and you focused enough to notice a slight twinge on your chest. 
The only coherent thought you had, though, was of your girlfriend. She said she’d be here when you woke up, and the beautiful blonde was nowhere in sight. 
“Would you like a sip of water?” The nurse asked kindly, holding a straw up to your mouth. You shook your head, though, frowning dramatically. 
“Alexia.” You murmured, eyes falling shut once again. The nurse chuckled, replying even though she wasn’t sure you were hearing her. The heart monitor attached to you was making a rhythmic beeping sound, and you were bobbing your head along to it gently, though you didn’t seem aware of it.  
“We’ll bring you out of recovery in a few minutes, and then you can see her.” 
Sure enough, you felt the strange sensation that you were moving, before you opened your eyes once again. Now in a different room, there was a smiling face next to yours, a gentle touch on your cheek. 
“Ale.” You sighed happily, eyes half shut, but a big smile adorning your features. 
“Hi, bonita.” Alexia chuckled. “How are you feeling?”
“Mmm.” You hummed. “Sleepy.” 
Alexia thought you looked incredibly adorable, all groggy and happy to see her. Clumsily, you reached for her hand, pulling it to cup your cheek. Your girlfriend laughed lightly, stroking her thumb over your cheek bone. 
“Are you in any pain?” 
“I loveeeeeee you.” You sang, clumsily patting her face with your free hand. 
Alexia laughed again, her features soft as she gazed down at you. “I love you too, cariño. Can you tell me if anything hurts?” 
“Nothin’ hurts.” You slurred. “Are my boobs small?” 
“Sí, look. The buttons on your shirt aren’t pulling apart anymore.” 
You’d bought several cotton button up pajama shirts especially for the occasion, having been told not to lift your arms above your head to put a shirt on. As always occurred with button ups, though, the buttons pulled tightly across your chest. Or, they had. Now, the shirt sat unstretched across your chest, and you felt a staggering amount of joy course through you. 
“Oh.” You said weakly, blinking hard as your eyes filled with tears. 
Alexia’s face fell. “What? Does something hurt? What’s wrong?” She asked frantically, looking around for something to stop the pain you weren’t actually feeling. 
“No, no. It’s good, it’s happy. They’re small and my shirt fits. Shirts like this never fit right and now they do.” You cried, too out of it to really feel embarrassed for crying so hard over such a small thing. 
“Oh, amor.” Alexia whispered, feeling like crying herself. She knew more than anyone how much you struggled with the way you’d looked before. She’d genuinely never seen you look so happy over your appearance before, and it was her new favorite thing. “I’m so happy you’re happy.” 
“I’m happy.” You mumbled, allowing Alexia to dry your face of tears. Carefully, Alexia brought the water to your lips again, and this time you drank some, feeling more and more awake with every passing second. And even though she was pretty sure you wouldn't remember this later, Alexia had to make sure you knew something. 
“You know what, amor?” She asked. 
“What?”
“You are beautiful. Even more beautiful now, with such a happy smile on your face.” 
It didn’t matter that you’d just cried, or that your hair was a mess. It didn’t matter that you were decidedly not beautiful at the moment. Because Alexia thought you were, and that made you think it, too. More than ever before, you felt beautiful like she said you were. 
------ 
The first two days went pretty smoothly. Everything ached a bit too much for you to really do anything on your own, and Alexia was more than happy to help. The trouble came after you were given clearance to shower, on the third day of your recovery. You wanted to do it by yourself, and Alexia was insisting on helping you. 
“No, Ale.” You snapped, trying to sit up and get out of bed on your own. Alexia wouldn’t move, though, still perched next to your legs, arms resting on either side of you, and honestly, you needed her help to get upright. 
She was being overly patient with you, and that only bothered you more; you didn’t like to be treated like you were fragile. “Amor, it says in the instructions, ‘have someone nearby to help for the first few showers.’’” 
“Nearby. Not in the bathroom with me. I’ll be fine, please just let me do this myself.” 
“It is not safe, I would like to be in there with you. I don’t understand, you have never had a problem with showering me before.” Alexia’s hazel eyes squinted at you, as though she was trying to visually ascertain what the issue was. 
“It’s different.” You grumbled, feeling your stomach twist at the idea of your girlfriend having to do another thing for you. Enough was enough, you had to be independent. If you couldn’t shower on your own, you’d feel completely helpless and you hated to feel helpless. 
“How is it different?” Alexia wondered, her patience with you still unwavering. 
“It just is! Move so I can get up, please.” 
The blonde just shook her head. “Not until you tell me how it’s different.”
“Alexia, I am disgusting right now, I’m gonna be all bruised and swollen and I haven’t showered in two days. It’s gross, I’m gross.”
She didn’t even blink, as though she’d already known this. “I don’t care about that, cariño. I just want to make this easier for you. Please let me help.”
“I don’t need help.” 
“You do, and that’s okay. Please, amor, just let me come into the bathroom with you. I’ll sit on the counter if you want me to, but let me be in the room. Please.”
Your girlfriend had a way of asking you things and making her eyes wide as she did so, making you agree without really thinking. It was genuinely difficult to say no to someone so pretty, who very clearly just wanted the best for you. This was how you found yourself in the bathroom, allowing Alexia to carefully unbutton your shirt and remove the bra from your chest. 
You’d tried to do it yourself at first, but it was ridiculously difficult to get your arms to do what you wanted them to do without pressing against your chest or your sides, and your yelp of pain had Alexia firmly telling you that she was helping you, and that was that. 
You waited for her face to turn disgusted, or at least for her eyes to give her away. It didn’t happen. She looked pained at the sight of the bruising on your body, but that was sympathetic. The kiss she gave you filled your body with warmth, but that warmth disappeared as soon as Alexia stepped away to turn on the shower, and you turned to look at yourself in the mirror. 
It was the first time you were really seeing your reflection, seeing the full results of what had been done, and you were more than a little horrified. 
When Alexia turned back around to help you into the shower, you had turned several shades paler, and your legs were shaking. Eyes fixed on your chest in the mirror, you looked completely disgusted with what you saw reflecting back at you. 
 Worried that you would pass out or something, Alexia stepped in behind you, carefully placing her large hands on your upper arms to hold you steady. “Amor? Feeling okay?”
“Dizzy.” You managed, leaning back into her. Alexia grabbed the water she’d had the foresight to bring into the bathroom, and carefully urged you to take a few sips. She knew how you were with stuff like this, ever since you’d passed out once watching her get stitches after a nasty tackle. 
“Just breathe. In through your nose, and out through your mouth. Don’t look if it’s bothering you.” 
“I-I… please don’t look, either, Ale.” You requested, shutting your eyes tightly. Alexia only hummed in response, resting her chin on your shoulder and rubbing her hands up and down your arms. “It’s awful, it’s so gross.” 
The bruising and the sight of the incisions through the tape over them was enough to make you nauseous, but Alexia being there only made it worse. She shouldn’t have to see you like this. 
She seemed unphased, though, her eyes on your face in the mirror, not distracted by your chest. “It looks exactly as the doctor said it should look. Your body went through so much, healing isn’t going to be perfect and pretty. Everything is okay, I promise. Just look at my face, and focus on me. Everything is okay.” 
You did as she asked, breathing deeply for a few minutes, your eyes fixed on hers in the mirror. Only when some color had returned to your face, and you weren’t shaking as badly, did Alexia move from where her body pressed to yours. 
“Are you ready? She murmured in your ear, enjoying that at least from this angle, from behind you, she could feel your body against hers. You enjoyed it too, your head dropping back to her shoulder as you nodded. “Okay. We’ll go quick. I’ll wash your body, wash your hair and then you can lay down.” 
Too afraid of what would happen if you stepped into the shower by yourself, you nodded again. 
It always struck you how gentle Alexia could be. On the pitch she was a force to be reckoned with, her body a well oiled machine that always got the job done. Her job was so physical, it always surprised you how soft her hands were, how gentle her touch was. 
She was so careful with you, especially now. The blonde maneuvered you under the stream of water, getting to work right away, as if she knew how exhausted you already were, just from standing for a few minutes. She hummed as she worked the loofa across your skin, intermittently leaving kisses wherever she saw fit. Done with that, Alexia moved on to your hair, her fingers feeling absolutely magical on your scalp after several days of it being tied back in a bun. 
You were mostly silent, only speaking to reply to Alexia’s quiet check ins every few minutes. It was only when she was facing you, massaging the conditioner out of your hair as you tilted your head back under the stream of water, that you said anything of substance. 
“Thank you for helping.” 
“Always.” Alexia mumbled, her lips pressed to your forehead. “I miss hugging you.”
You melted even further, as if the careful way she washed your hair for you wasn’t soft enough. “You’re adorable.” 
“No, I am tough and strong.” Alexia objected. 
“And incredibly adorable.” You insisted. For the first time that day, Alexia saw the ghost of a smile on your lips, and she made herself a promise that she’d make you smile more often. Even if she had to be ridiculous to do so, though it would prove to be harder than she wanted. 
------
It felt like there was a dark cloud hanging over you. You were irritated and depressed and near tears for no discernible reason. Alright, there was a reason, but you were too upset to really think rationally about it. Everything hurt more once you’d stopped taking the prescription painkillers you’d been prescribed, and the lack of the drugs was definitely not helping your mood. The last two days had been horrible, your recovery hitting a wall. It had been a week exactly, and suddenly, nothing was moving fast enough. 
Now that you were used to the sight, your breasts didn’t seem as small as they had at first. They were swollen, you kept reminding yourself, but the worry that they wouldn’t be small enough, that you’d gone through all this for nothing, persisted. It didn't matter that logically, you knew they were smaller. You’d seen what was removed, been told the measurements, and still. You’d convinced yourself they looked mostly the same. It hurt to move and showering took you at least an hour every time. You hyper fixated on your appearance, worried that now that your chest was supposedly smaller, everything else would be bigger. Alexia kept taking days off work, and when she didn’t, her mother or her sister would randomly show up with something random to drop off or pick up. You hated that she felt like she couldn’t leave you alone, and you hated even more that she was right to feel that way. You couldn’t lift anything, could barely sit up on your own. Your girlfriend was stuck helping you with every little thing, from showering to walking down the stairs. It was miserable. 
It felt like she asked you every other minute if you were in pain. And god, you were. More than you thought you’d be. Everytime, though, your answer was the same. Just a bit, you’d tell her. Both of you knew you were lying. You’d grit your teeth and bear it, unwilling or perhaps unable to admit to Alexia that your chest ached and stung and pulled and hurt. Your brain didn’t feel much better. 
Of course, Alexia knew you were miserable. The doctor had warned her this might happen; it wasn’t uncommon for individuals to fall into a depression after surgery like this. There were a lot of complex emotions involved. Combine those emotions with pain and narcotics, of course you didn’t feel like yourself. She’d been awake last night, when you’d cried next to her, holding her hand like a lifeline even as you stayed as quiet as you could. Alexia knew you didn’t want her to see you in pain, and if she could bring you comfort because you thought she was asleep… she’d take that. 
Still, though, every part of her ached with how sad you seemed, and how shut down you’d become. She was sure that if you talked about even one of the things bothering you, you’d feel so much better. You weren’t talking, though, and Alexia was running out of ways to help you. 
The blonde had one final idea before she broke and called your doctor to tell him that you just weren’t coping well, and she really didn’t want to do that. So, she made you tea, put on a boring documentary, and played with your hair until you were half asleep on top of the covers of your bed, as snuggled into Alexia’s pillow as you could get at the moment. 
She gently roused you, informing you that she had to run out for groceries but she’d be back very soon, before grabbing her list and slipping out the front door. Alexia had assumed you’d gone right back to sleep, but you hadn’t.
Instead, you’d realized you had to use the bathroom, dragging yourself off your bed and into the bathroom. It was there that you bumped into the door, which hurt way more than it normally would have. It had been the last straw of an already horrible day, and you just couldn’t take it anymore. Couldn’t be brave anymore. 
Alexia had been in such a rush to leave so she could come back, that she forgot her wallet, turning the car around only a few minutes into her drive to return and grab it. 
“Amor, I forgot my-” Alexia’s whispered words halted as she walked into the bedroom, and the sounds of your sobs hit her ears. You weren’t in bed where she’d left you, and your girlfriend whipped her head around in panic. “Baby, where are you?” She shouted, able to tell that you were closeby. Answering her own question, she rushed towards the bathroom, only relaxing slightly when she found you. 
Hunched over by the sink, your shoulders shook with the force of your sobs. Somewhere in her mind, Alexia realized that the movement was likely causing you pain. The blonde hadn’t ever heard you cry this hard in her life, and when you whipped your head around to look at her when she pushed the door open, you looked broken. You only looked more upset at the sight of her, and your girlfriend tried not to panic. 
“Baby, are you hurting?” Alexia questioned, moving forward as her hands fluttered uselessly in the air. All you could do in response was continue to cry, and reach one shaky hand towards the blonde. “I need you to talk to me.” 
It was all just too much; you couldn’t hold it in any longer. You needed her to kiss you and hold you and promise that everything would be okay. “I..I- hurts, Ale, it hurts so bad.” 
“I’m so sorry.” Alexia frowned, giving your hand a squeeze. “What can I do?” 
“I d-don’t know, it just hurts.” You sobbed, your chest stuttering. 
“The crying is not helping, amor, try to breathe.” She encouraged, exaggerating her own breaths for you to copy. It worked only slightly, and your face was still contorted in pain. “Let me get you some more medicine.” 
“No, stay.” You panicked, only tightening your grip on your girlfriend’s hand. 
“Okay, I’m right here.” She cooed, trying to move closer and give you a gentle hug. You winced away from her, though, in too much pain and too afraid of it worsening to allow her close to you. 
“I don’t know what to do,” you whimpered, wanting the pain to stop if only so she could hug you. 
Pausing and pursing her lips, your girlfriend tried to think logically. Getting up was difficult for you, standing only worse.  Sitting propped up on the bed was the only way for you to be even slightly comfortable, so Alexia took each of your hands in hers. “Back to bed, okay? You’ll feel better sitting.” 
You nodded, and allowed your girlfriend to carefully lead you out of the bathroom, and back towards the bed. “Okay, almost there. You’re doing so well.” 
It felt ridiculous to be praised for something as simple as walking back to bed, especially as you needed her help to do so. Still, she sounded so earnest and encouraging you couldn’t doubt her sincerity. 
Alexia got you settled on the bed just how you liked, and adjusted the pillows until they were just right. You sighed shakily, shifting as you tried to get comfortable. 
“Tell me how to help you.” Alexia practically pleaded. 
“I want ice please.” You sniffled, desperate for anything to numb the pain on your body, and the pain inside your head. Alexia tucked the blanket around you, using her thumb to wipe a few tears off your cheeks, gazing at you regretfully. 
“I’m sorry, amor, the doctor said no ice, remember? It is bad for the circulation. I can get you more medicine and a cool towel for your head?” Her suggestions felt weak, and she wished she could just take it from you, take away how badly you felt. 
You nodded, a few more tears falling from your eyes as you did so. It seemed to Alexia as though every time she offered to help you, you cried more. She rose to go get what she needed, and you let your head fall back on the pillows, a few quiet sobs escaping. You wished you could stop needing her so badly. 
Crying too hard to notice her return, you jumped when she placed her hand on your upper arm, crying out quietly as you did so. 
“Easy, amor.” She soothed, handing you two pills and holding a straw to your lips. Once you took the medicine, she wiped the tears off your face with the wet washcloth in her hand, her features wrinkled with worry. You hadn’t stopped crying, and she didn’t know what else to do to help you. 
“Are you crying because it hurts, or because of something else?” She wondered. 
“I don’t know, I just can’t stop.” You whimpered, clutching almost desperately at your girlfriend’s hand. 
Letting out a sad, sympathetic sound you’d never heard her make, Alexia took her place on her side of the bed, scooting over so she was pressed up against the pillow that was pressed up against you. It was the best she could do at the moment, even if she wanted to pull you into her and never let go. You reached over the pillow to grab onto her hoodie, the brown one with holes all over it you liked to make fun of. She’d put it on earlier, hoping you’d do just that, but she’d had no luck. 
Alexia just watched you for a few minutes, both of her hands on you, tracing patterns into your skin wherever she was sure wouldn’t hurt you. It became clear to her that you were exhausting yourself, your eyes barely even open anymore as you wiped at the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. 
“Amor, you need rest.” She whispered, watching your eyes flutter open to look at her helplessly. 
How were you supposed to sleep when you were so upset? 
“I can’t.” 
“Try for me. Close your eyes, relax your body.” The blonde instructed, smiling despite herself as you instantly did as she asked. Grabbing the cool washcloth again, she folded it in half and draped it over your eyes. Sighing you settled back into the pillows a bit, chest still stuttering every few seconds, but less intensely than it had been. “Sleep, cariño. I’m right here, I love you, and everything is okay.” 
Her words had an incomprehensible power over you, and it wasn’t long before you were barely clinging to consciousness. The tears had stopped, and all you could really think about was that you were really glad that Alexia was here with you. 
------
Alexia wasn’t sure how long you’d cried for before your grip on her sweatshirt had gone slack, and you’d finally relaxed. She let you sleep for an hour or so, though, unmoving so she didn’t disturb you. She busied herself with her phone, placing an order of the things she needed so she didn’t have to leave you, but mostly, she just watched you sleep. Swollen and red eyes, tear stained face, uncomfortable frown on your face even as you slept, you were still the most beautiful person she’d ever seen in her life. 
Once the delivery was made, your girlfriend slipped out of bed as carefully as she could, heading for the front door. Turning around with the bags from the front porch in hand, Alexia jumped a little at the sight of you standing behind her. She hadn’t heard you follow her out of the bedroom, but she saw you now, more tears falling down your flushed face. 
“Hey,” she said soothingly, moving closer even as you backed away from her. 
“You were supposed to go grocery shopping and I ruined it,” you cried, feeling a little ridiculously upset that you’d messed up her plans. You just thought she needed the time away from you. It wasn’t as though you were pleasant to be around right now. “You didn't get to run your errands, I’m so sorry.”
“You haven’t ruined anything, mi amor.” Alexia cooed. “Come on, sit on the couch for me, and I’ll show you what I got.” 
Sniffling, Alexia led you to the couch, helping you sit down and once again, placing the excessive amount of pillows exactly as you liked them. She began to pull items out of the bags once she sat down next to you, explaining what she’d gotten as she did so in a very quiet, almost shy voice. 
“A new candle, it makes the crackle sounds you like. Your favorite candy. Some roses, and I will put them in a vase and you could put them next to your bed, if you want. This is supposed to be a cooling blanket, so you don’t get too warm. I noticed you were almost out of the hair ties you use, so I got more of those. You liked that one button up shirt you got, so I got more because they are easier than other shirts, and these are very soft.” She listed everything out, putting it all on the coffee table in front of you. 
It was endless, the number of things she’d bought for you. Favorite snacks, a book you’d mentioned wanting to read once. A new coffee mug, even though she always complained that you had too many already, just because she knew you’d like the color. One bag was full of the ingredients to make your favorite dinner. She grabbed the last bag off the floor, really rambling now that you hadn’t said a word in at least 2 minutes. 
“I can return this if you don’t want it.” She finished, pressing the small, plush elephant into your hands as her face turned red. “I thought he could keep you company when I’m at work, but it’s probably stupid-”
You cut her off, tucking the elephant under one arm as you tilted her chin up with your other. Her face fell further, because you were still crying. 
She didn’t know that they were no longer sad tears. 
“I love you.” You blubbered, absolutely sure that there weren't words to describe how grateful you were for her at that moment. Ale, your perfect, sweet Ale. What had you done in your life to deserve her? “I love the elephant, I love everything. What did you do all this for?” 
Alexia looked at you incredulously, her fingers linking with yours. “You have been so down. I just wanted to make you smile. I thought maybe one of these things could.” 
“Oh. I… I didn’t know you noticed. I thought I was doing a good job hiding it.” 
You would never be winning an Oscar, Alexia thought to herself. “Why would you hide that from me?” She wondered, her face adorably confused. 
“You’re dealing with enough from me right now, you don’t need-”
“I decide what I need and don’t need.” Alexia cut in, her voice so firm it had your head snapping up to stare at her. She wasn’t angry, though, just… passionate. “Don’t push me away because you think you are being too much. I knew what I was getting into when you scheduled this surgery. I arranged to have time off so I could take care of you. I know you are hurting and I know you are upset, and I want nothing more than for you to talk to me.” 
“You’re too good to me.” You murmured, eyes flitting all over her face, trying to memorize the sincere expression on her face. 
“This is what you deserve.” Alexia disagreed, her knee shifting over until it pressed into yours. “Now, I know you are hurting because you just had surgery, but I do not know what has you so sad. Can you tell me? Please?”
How could you say no to that? The issue was, you weren’t even sure where to start. “There’s too many things. I’m just… I don’t feel right.” 
Alexia hummed. “Amor, it is normal to be depressed after a surgery like this. It says in the post op notes, your doctor talked to me about it. This is normal, how you are feeling is normal and it isn’t going to last forever.”
It was the same thing you’d been telling yourself, except now it echoed around your head in Alexia’s voice, and that held so much more meaning. Nodding meekly, you wondered if you should keep going. 
“What else?” 
Nervously, you glanced down at your chest. You didn’t want to sound ungrateful. Not everyone got the chance to have this surgery, even if they needed it, and it felt so disgusting to complain. The feeling that they were still too big was unshakeable, though. 
“You don’t like how they look.” Alexia stated simply. You stared at her, jaw dropped, wondering suddenly if she could read minds. She gave you a small smile, tugging at her ponytail and fiddling with the ends of her hair. “That is normal, too. I read about it. They don’t feel different enough?” 
“No.” You replied quietly, still ashamed of your feelings. 
“They are still swollen. It will take three to four months for them to look how they are going to look. You have to be patient, you have to give yourself time. I know everything is overwhelming right now, but I promise you, they are smaller, and they will get smaller still.” 
This time, Alexia raised your intertwined hands to her lips, pressing a kiss to the back of yours. “What else?” She asked again. A mind reader, for sure, you decided. 
You bit your lip before speaking, though it was progress that you verbalized your feelings without Alexia having to guess. “I’m in so much pain. It’s taking so long to go away. You can’t do anything or go anywhere because you’re here helping me. I’m such a burden right now and I hate it. I’m so tired of this. I don’t want you to have to help me with every little thing.”
Alexia looked almost offended. “You have never been a burden a day in your life, and I am sorry that anyone has ever made you feel that way. I am happy to be here, and help you heal. Really, amor. You’ve wanted this for so long, and this part isn’t very fun, but you’re doing so well. It hurts, and it sucks, I know that. It feels like it’s taking forever, but it’s just barely been a week. You aren’t helping yourself by keeping all these negative thoughts in your head, either.”
“Probably not.” You agreed timidly. 
“Probably not.” Alexia echoed, her hand coming up to cup your cheek. “I am here for you because I want to be, so let me help, okay? It isn’t your instinct to tell me when you are hurting, or when you need help, but I want you to try, okay? Just try.” 
“I’ll try.” You promised. Because, honestly, if Alexia was this good at making all your fears and stressors melt away and she was happy to do it, there was no justification for suffering in silence anymore. 
“I”m proud of you. You are doing so well, and I love you. Everything is going to feel better soon, and until then, I am right here with you.”
“Are you going somewhere once I am better?” You asked teasingly, just the hint of a smile tugging at your lips. This did not go unnoticed by your girlfriend, who leaned closer and got a look on her face you knew to be her I just won look. 
“A smile.” Alexia grinned, pressing her forehead against yours, still making sure to give your entire midsection a wide berth. 
“It’s just for you.” You whispered, holding eye contact with her, and enjoying that it no longer felt insincere because you were keeping so much to yourself. 
“I’m not going anywhere. Ever.” Alexia promised. Her words were barely more than a warm exhale on your mouth, and before long, she was brushing her soft lips against yours, giving you the world’s most careful kiss. 
She had magical kisses, you decided. Magic hands, as they linked with yours. A magic smile that made you grin, too. Good taste in get better soon gifts, you thought, picking up the elephant and asking her if she’d thought of a name for it. 
“Alex.” She smirked, looking rather proud of herself. 
And maybe she had egotistical taste in names, but you were more convinced every second that she was right, that things would get better, and a bit of ego was something you could handle. Especially when it came wrapped up in a package with overwhelming amounts of love and care. You were the luckiest girl in the world, you’d never been more sure of that. 
Hours later, after you’d eaten your favorite dinner and lit your new candle, settling into bed with a much more relaxed look on your face, Alexia thought the same thing. She was the luckiest to have you. Your smile was worth everything, and she’d missed it these past few days. It didn’t feel like she’d have to miss it anymore, though, especially as you drifted off, your hand in hers. Lips curved just slightly upward. You always had a smile to give Alexia. 
------
i'm honestly not sure if this is too niche for people to enjoy, so i'd appreciate any thoughts anyone has :) this feels wildly vulnerable and i will do my absolute best to not get embarrassed and delete it 🙏 love to you all 🫶🏻🫶🏻🥰🥰
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thevoidstaredback · 4 months ago
Text
How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have
It was halfway through his shift the next day, just after he'd come back from lunch, that the anonymous tip came through. Dick had frozen when he heard it, but only slightly because the others were brushing it off as a prank call.
"'Blockbuster's after someone named Oracle,'" Officer Diaz had scoffed, "What a joke. Aren't kids supposed to know that their stupid prank calls clog the system? What if someone who actually had useful information had needed to call, huh?"
Dick didn't mention that that isn't how the tip system works, nor did he eve attempt to scold the officer for brushing it off, no matter how stupid it seemed. No, instead, he was stuck in his thoughts.
Blockbuster is after Oracle. Why is he after Oracle? It doesn't make sense! No one in Bludhaven, save for himself, should no who she is! Besides, he'd kept all of the attention on himself. No one was able to even think about the heroes or rogues in Gotham without him knowing! Or, so he'd thought. How does Blockbuster know Oracle's name? More importantly at the moment was who sent the tip.
There was another scoff from one of the others. Did he say that out loud? "Look, I know you're new and everything, but shouldn't you know the mean of 'anonymous'?"
He forced himself out of his head, rubbing his neck with his left hand with a fake smile. "Yeah, I do. I guess I'm just a bit out of it today."
"Well, get your head back in the game," Detective Soames snapped, hitting a file on the back of Dick's head, "File that for me, then file the rest on my desk."
"Yes, sir," Dick took the file, ignoring the snickers and snide remarks from his coworkers.
He knows he's not going to be able to fully focus on anything for the rest of the day, possibly not even until after he finds out who sent that tip and how Blockbuster knows Oracle's name.
Oracle. Dick knows she can handle herself, but he doesn't like the fact that anyone knows her name. Not even B knows about Oracle! Babs had spent so much time and energy keeping her online persona from B so that she could have at least something of her own that Dick had taken it upon himself to erase traces connecting him to Oracle. She didn't deserve to have Batman on her ass, nor did she deserve to have Nightwing's enemies go after her!
He shook himself back into the present with a soft sigh. He'll call Barbra as soon as he gets home.
***
"Danny!" Dick calls into the apartment, knowing full well that the kid is in the kitchen, "I'm home!"
"Welcome back," Danny responds from where he's standing at the stove. He, Dick realizes, does not sound happy.
He hangs his coat up on the hooks he installed beside the door, his shoes going on the rack below them. "You good? You sound a bit upset?"
"I am upset." Danny, after getting comfortable around him, has stopped sugar-coating his words, being brutally honest. Dick blinks. "I was going to message Tim, but I saw a lack of apologies from you."
Oh. Dick had meant to do what Danny said last night and apologise to that Tim kid for snapping at him, but he had been a lot more tired than usual and it had slipped his mind. "I was going to use my phone?"
"You don't have his number."
Another thing Dick had come to learn about Danny in the few weeks they'd been living together was that he can't be lied to. He somehow picks up on lies, so even Dick's best efforts - that have fooled even Batman! - are always thwarted.
"I meant to," Dick said, sitting on one of the new barstools at he island counter, "But I was really tired last night."
Danny sighed. "Because you were out longer than you're now used to." He turned the burner off, moving the pan to sit on the hotpad beside it. "You're body's gotten used to only being out for eight hours during the day and six hours at night. You going out for eight hours last night wore you out more than usual because you're no longer used to your seventeen hour work days."
Dick tilted his head, accepting the bowl of soup he was given. "But it's only been a few weeks?"
"It only takes eighteen days for your body to get used to a routine." He said, placing a bowl of homemade rolls on the island. "After about sixty-six days, it becomes habitual."
"But it hasn't been sixty-six days."
"No, but it has been twenty-one days."
He hesitated for a moment. "Has it really been only that long?" Then, "Have you been counting?"
Danny blushed, sitting beside Dick with his own bowl of soup. "I've been keeping track of your schedule, which means I gotta keep a calendar. I haven't been counting on purpose."
Dick smiled, eating the soup. As usual, it was really good. The first week of Danny's stay, he'd asked where he'd learned to cook, but Danny had given a non-answer, saying only that his parents couldn't make anything edible that wasn't fudge or cookies.
After they had both finished eating, Dick's portions and appetite being larger than Danny's because of the calories he burns as Nightwing, they settled into a nice quiet. Dick had changed from his uniform into sweats and a T-shirt while Danny had chosen a movie. Then, Dick cleaned up dinner and Danny changed into a hoodie and sweats.
"We still need to take you shopping," Dick pointed out when they were both sitting on the couch, ready to start the movie.
Danny shook his head. "Letting me stay here is already enough. Besides, your old clothes work perfectly fine."
"But you're room's so empty! And my clothes don't even fit you!"
There was a pause like Danny was thinking. Dick had the feeling he might not like whatever was going to be said next.
He was right.
"I'll let you take me shopping next week," Danny agreed, "if we go to Gotham tomorrow so that you can apologise to Tim in person."
Dick's jaw twitched. He didn't want to go to Gotham. Going to Gotham meant that he'd inevitably run into Bruce. He wanted to stay far away from that man.
Then again, he'd promised Alfred to come by some time. And, it'd be nice to see Barbra and Jim again. Maybe he could have Alfred make sure Bruce wouldn't be in the Manor?
"So?" Danny promted.
He sighed. "You're evil, y'know that?"
His grin said it all. "I could be so much worse."
"Please don't."
"Don't give me a reason."
Part 9 Part 11
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fazedlight · 1 month ago
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Emerald
“So, Supergirl,” Clark Kent’s voice said from the television screen, adjusting his glasses as his gaze shifted from the camera to the caped superhero beside him, “What’s your favorite food?”
“Oh, that’s a tough one. Potstickers, chocolate pecan pie-”
Alex crossed her arms and sighed. “This is going to take forever.”
Alex, Kelly, Lena, Nia, and Brainy sat on Kara’s couches, watching as the super was interviewed by her cousin across the country in Metropolis. It was mostly a puff piece, to help Kara ease back into normalcy as a public figure after returning from the phantom zone.
Lena smiled to herself as she watched her best friend on screen. After all this time - their fallout, Kara’s disappearance into the phantom zone, growing closer with the superfriends in her absence - everything finally felt like it was clicking into place. In a strange and wonderful way, these people had become family, and she had Kara back.
Maybe there was a piece still missing. But she’d keep her pining to herself.
“How much longer is this interview?” Nia asked.
“Just a few more minutes,” Kelly responded. “Kara said we’ll start movie night at the normal time, the flight back isn’t long.”
“Least favorite food?” Clark asked.
“Kale.”
“Simple answer,” he joked.
“Simple question.”
Alex sighed again. “We really shouldn’t let her do interviews.”
Kelly smiled, nudging her girlfriend lovingly. “It’s good for people to see her,” she reminded Alex, “And it’s good for Kara to keep herself occupied.”
Alex smiled back. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Favorite color?” Clark asked.
“Green,” Kara responded immediately.
And that’s when everyone’s heads snapped back up to the television.
“Green?” Clark said, eyebrows raising wide above his brow. The public might see a normal reporter doing his job, but those in the know might realize that the other kryptonian was caught off guard by the answer. “Surprising choice, with kryptonite.”
“Uh, I-” Kara stuttered, shuffling back, “Sorry, I think I gotta go, bird stuck in a tree-”
“That’s usually where birds are-”
Lena tilted her head curiously as her best friend launched upwards, off camera and presumably into the sky. That was weird, Lena mulled, turning to find most of the superfriends eyeing her carefully.
With the exception of Alex, whose head was in her hands.
---
Oh, Rao, why did I say that?, Kara thought, as she sped across the sky. Alex is going to tease me for weeks-
The cool breeze blasted in her face as she panicked, and it wasn’t until she was somewhere over Nebraska that she finally calmed down. Not that Alex knew, not that anyone knew. Unless I’m being too obvious…
With a whoosh and a double tap, she landed in her apartment, watching as her friends on the couch turned to see her. “Hey everyone,” she said shakily, trying to move on as quickly as possible, “Ready for Jumanji?”
“We’re ready,” Alex started.
“Actually,” Nia said, tapping away at her phone, “I think we’ve got a problem.”
“With my interview?” Kara deflated.
“Social media is, uh…” Nia said, “Well, I think you’ve upset the kale lobby.”
“The kale lobby?!”
“Possibly farmers in general…” Nia said, leading to Alex once again putting her face in her hands.
“What do we do?” Kara asked.
“You could do a healthy food PSA,” Lena suggested helpfully. “First rule of the publicity playbook. Create something to erase your mistake. I’m sure Andrea would air it instantly.”
“I will stay up all night devising this PSA,” Brainy vowed.
“Thanks,” Kara sighed. “Movie, then?”
---
It was a normal movie night. Mostly.
Kara seemed to avoid Lena’s eyes throughout. Normally they curled up next to each other, but Kara was more distant - physically and emotionally. It made Lena’s stomach flop. What’s going on?
But over the course of the evening - Lena was glad they picked a funny movie - Kara seemed to soften again to her normal melodic laughter. At some point, there was a small touch to Lena’s arm to invite her to curl up against the blonde, which she gladly took.
After the movie, the other couples filtered their way out. Kara nudged Lena to go home too, but Lena offered to help with dishes as she usually did, and they found themselves side-by-side at the sink.
“How long has green been your favorite color?” Lena asked, as she set down a rinsed wine glass. “I’m guessing not on Krypton.”
Kara glanced sideways, not quite meeting Lena’s gaze. “A few years. I didn’t really have one before.”
“A few years,” Lena said, her brow scrunching in confusion, “How on earth did kryptonite not repel that?”
Kara stayed silent for a moment, placing the last cleaned plate in the drying rack, rinsing her hands and turning off the faucet. Lena watched her, curious, wondering why the blonde seemed to be mulling her answer, or if she would ever answer.
She did. “It’s your eyes,” Kara confessed. “They’re beautiful.”
Lena’s heart skipped a beat. “My eyes,” she asked softly.
“In the phantom zone, I kept trying to imagine your face,” Kara murmured, “I didn’t want to forget the color of your eyes.”
“Kara…”
“You’re my home, Lena,” Kara said, biting at her lip as she turned to meet Lena’s gaze. “All I wanted was to come back to you.”
Lena smiled softly, placing a hand on Kara’s, feeling the release of the breath the kryptonian had nervously been holding. Lena tilted up on her toes, placing a small kiss on Kara’s cheek. “Can I stay the night?” she asked shyly.
Kara’s eyes shifted between her own, as a warm smile formed on the kryptonian’s face. “Yeah.”
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Perhaps a slightly different origin story for that superfriends PSA.
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thelostmagicians · 1 year ago
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Love Comes In Threes | Steve Harrington
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Summary: Steve Harrington loves you, he just can't say it. [2k]
Fluff, comfort, slight angst, emotionally/verbally constipated Steve
The last time Steve Harrington said I love you to someone she ripped out his heart and left with the boy she told him not to worry about. 
He doesn’t remember the last time he said it to his parents, only that he stopped trying after he kept getting the dial tone in response to his feelings. 
So you weren’t exactly surprised or upset when he kissed you instead of saying it back 6 months into your relationship. 
_
The first time you said I love you to Steve it was a stormy evening. The both of you agreed to take things slow, wounds from the past still open and healing. But he just looked so handsome that night with his hair tousled in a perfect mess, red creeping on his cheeks from the cold air as the both of you raced towards his car trying to protect yourselves from the rain. He turned the heat on as he took your hands in his in an effort to warm you up. You tried to hold it in, you swear you did, but the love you had for him weighed down on you like an anchor and you thought if you didn’t tell him that second you were going to drown in your own feelings. 
“I love you,” you had whispered as he continued rubbing his fingers over yours. He paused his actions, shyly looking up. The red on his cheeks could no longer be blamed on the cold because now he was feeling as the sun was glowing warm in his heart. 
“You sure?” he asked you. Instead of answering you kissed him, hoping your lips would act as a spout and pour how you felt directly into him.   
You knew that like you, Steve had been hurt in the past so when he pulled you in for another kiss instead of saying it back you never questioned him. 
_
But that was a year ago. 
Almost two years into the relationship and Steve still hasn’t said I love you back. Every time he hears it fall from your lips, he’ll just give your hand a squeeze and carry on. You want to think it isn’t a big deal. You try to convince yourself that the L word isn’t necessary in your relationship, not when you share a home, a bed, secrets, and, hopefully, a family in the future. But no matter how hard you try to ignore your feelings it still leaves you disappointed when you see couples everywhere throw the three words around like they’re playing catch. It’s an endless cycle of disappointment for not hearing it, guilt for questioning the love Steve has for you, and frustration for why it mattered so much.
“As someone who Steve previously loved, do you think he actually loves me or is he just… settling?”
Your question makes Nancy freeze, the book she was previously trying to shove back in the shelf falls with a loud thud. She throws an apologetic smile at the librarian who shakes her head in disapproval. 
“What are you even talking about?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I brought it up. But I was just thinking, Steve loved you Nance. He told you he loved you. It’s been years and people still remember how broken he was after you left. Like if I left would he be just as sad or would he be okay.”
“Are you planning on leaving Steve?” Nancy stutters out.
“Well no…definitely no. It just makes me wonder if people can see that Steve loves me or if they think of me as the passerby keeping him from you while you were the one that got away. Whenever I tell someone I’m dating Steve all I ever hear is good on him for moving on, poor thing was a wreck after Nancy Wheeler left.”
Nancy picks up her stack of books as she leads you to the front desk, “Look what Steve and I had was over before we both even realized it was over. He loves you, I think… I think he loves you more than he could’ve ever loved me. And why do you even care what people think? These are the same people who think Robin is a sinner and that my parents are happily married.”
You roll your eyes in affection as you help her with her books. “I guess you’re right…” you trail off as your eye catches a magazine. In big bold letters you read 100 Different Signs Your Man Loves You.
“Oh please you can’t be serious.”
You give her a sheepish smile as you check out your rental and head back home. 
The magazine was utter trash. It had nothing, but surface value declarations that did nothing to soothe your worries. You stopped reading after sign 8 when it said Ladies if your man compliments your cooking, then it means he’s thinking about locking it down! Because remember a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!
Your Steve wasn’t like this. Your Steve was the kind of guy who knew you were having a bad day before you even had the chance to tell him. Your Steve was the kind of guy who would willingly wake up early and go out into snow just to heat up your car so you won’t have to drive in the cold. 
You sigh as you toss the magazine in the back of the car making a mental note to drop it off at the library on your way to pick up Robin for your girls day.
You honk twice in front of Vickie’s house before Robin comes bolting down the driveway, shoes in hand and trying to wrestle her jacket on. She gives you a wave before climbing in and greeting you with a tight hug. 
“I see your sleepover went well,” you tease. 
Before she can tease back Vickie knocks on the window prompting Robin to roll it down. 
“Hi, Vickie” you smirk up at her, eyes darting to the purple bruise under her ear that she poorly tried to conceal with makeup. 
She waves shyly, “Robin… I forgot to say,” she looks at you nervously, “Nevermind, just I’ll see you tomorrow.” She quickly kisses Robin’s cheek and scurries back inside. 
“So… what was that whole thing with Vickie about?” you try to ease in. 
Robin bumps her head on the window when you pull into a parking spot, “Oh Vickie? She’s still nervous about saying the L word publicly so that’s what she was doing.”
“At least she’s saying it privately,” you huff under your breath. 
“What was that?”
“Oh, nothing, I was just asking how she says it in public if she isn’t comfortable?”
“You know the cheek kisses she gave, that was it.”
You quickly put the shirt you’re holding back on the rack before looking at Robin confused. “What do you mean, is that your guys’ secret language?”
Robin laughs, pulling up a skirt to herself. “No silly, haven’t you ever heard the saying love comes in threes. When you touch someone three consecutive times it’s the equivalent of I. Love. You. Hence three cheek kisses equal an I love you.”
“That’s so cute,” you squeal, squeezing her arm and testing it out for yourself. 
She squeezes back instantly, “I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it, considering Steve’s the one that introduced me to it.”
Your steps falter behind her. “Hang on, Steve? My Steve, told you that?”
“Yeah, he said his Nana used to do it when they were kids or something like that. Told me before I told Vickie I loved her. Do you think this skirt is cute or should I save my money for a Madonna tape?”
Robin keeps rambling as you stay in place, your thoughts spiraling. Her confession makes you think about every single time Steve’s ever touched you. Every morning before you part ways how he pecks your lips once, twice, and a little longer the third time. How he squeezes your waist three times when he walks past you to get his favorite mug. How he reaches for your thigh, hand, anything he can get ahold of just to get three squeezes in. How he taps your arm in his sleep, again always in threes. You would stay up trying to figure out what song his taps represent before eventually drifting off yourself.   
This whole time you were waiting for Steve to verbally express his love when he was doing it quietly in his own way, more often than you ever did. 
You don’t even realize you’re crying until you feel a tear slowly drip down your neck. 
“Hey what’s wrong are you okay?” Robin asks frantically. She drops her bags, hands squeezing your arms and eyes darting around for any signs of danger. 
You nod through your tears, “I’m okay, can we just go. I have to get home, I know it’s crazy but…”
Robin nods, grabbing your arm and leading you to the exit. 
The car ride back home is quiet, Robin didn’t even whisper a goodbye when she left simply settling with a quick peck to your forehead and soft smile. 
Your thoughts feel overwhelming like everything is going a mile a minute when you think about Steve. You think about your first date, your second, and your third and so on. How Steve ended every night with three of something. 
Your body is on autopilot as you make your way through the front door. Keys tossed in the bowl, coat hung up, and shoes thrown off. 
“Hey baby, you alright? Robin called asking if you were okay.” A concerned Steve comes into your vision, he quickly wipes his hands on the kitchen towel before flinging it over his shoulder and kissing you. Once, twice, and thrice.
Your hard stare makes him nervous, he’s never seen you like this before. “Honey,” he whispers out.
You take a deep breath in, “You never said I love you to me, not after I said it first, not even when you asked me to move in.” You pause trying to compose yourself while Steve avoids your gaze. “This whole time I thought you didn’t love me like you should, that you loved me, but you weren’t in love with me.”
Steve lifts his head up, baffled, he goes to argue until you lift your hand up signaling him to wait. 
“Robin told me something about how love comes in threes, today. How three taps, or any kind of touch in rapid succession three times is the equivalent of an I love you,” he finally meets your gaze as you slowly walk over to him, tugging on his waist to hold him as close as possible. “You told me you loved me on our first date, you told me the night we had our first kiss, you told me on our anniversary. And you tell me everyday. I don’t think there’s an hour that goes by without you telling me.”
Steve pulls you into his chest before gently lifting your head and kissing you three times. You giggle at the not-so-secret-anymore gesture. “I’m trying. I really am trying hard to say it, but I do. I really do. I want you to know how important you are, but I’m also scared. So I guess this was my way of saying it, reminding myself that when I do eventually say the words… you won’t leave.” 
“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry for not seeing your love. For not understanding that even though you love me quietly you love me the most. Your love is in the tiny but grand gestures that I take for granted, but would miss deeply if I didn’t have it. I don’t need the words anymore Steve, I just need you because you love me more than I ever thought was possible and that’s enough. You’re enough.”
He squeezes your shoulder three times before whispering the words you’ve always wanted to hear from him. 
They say love comes in threes and your love with Steve may be quiet, but it’s everywhere. 
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missadangel · 25 days ago
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The Heart of Rome (Marcus Acacius x Ofc!Princess Reader)
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XI. The Accusation (+18, Mature)
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gif --- ayo-edebiri
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“Ad astra per aspera”
To the stars though difficulties…
Villa…
"I need you to help me to kill Caracalla.”
You stared at Julia's face in astonishment, trying to make sense of what you just heard. Her dark brown eyes were serious, but you noticed something in her expression that you couldn't identify – it was somewhere between fear and unease.
"You came to my house to ask me to help you kill your son? Is that correct?”
“He is no longer my son. Macrinus has made him a mere plaything. He pretty much does whatever he wants. He had his relatives killed, without any hesitation. I can't let him kill Geta too. It's only a matter of time. I can't lose Geta.” She sounded upset when she mentioned him. "I lost everything to Macrinus. First he took my son, then my reputation. My own son won't listen to me, he sent me into exile, which is unacceptable." Her tearful voice suddenly turned serious. "I have no one left to go to but you which Acacius had a hand in this, of course.”
‘What are you sa-?’
"He wiped out my men in Legates. They were my last remaining stronghold. I did everything I could to keep them on my side for all those years. Did he tell you how he killed them? I'm sure he didn't, so as not to startle you."
You took a deep breath and tried to remain calm. "My husband doesn't hide anything from me. But even if he did, I'm sure he has his own reasons." You said confidently.
"Sure he has!" she said sarcastically.
She was testing the limits of your patience. "Cease talking nonsense about my husband!" You barked. "Simply say whatever you came to say then take your leave.”
"Fair enough.” She crossed her legs. “Caracalla must die before Macrinus returns to Rome. Before he appoint him as Praetorian prefect (commander of the Imperial Guard)." She took a deep breath. "I'm sure of that he will take action against my sons once he assumes command of the guards. This could potentially lead to him ascending the throne. However, if Caracalla dies, it might weaken Macrinus' position. It would be more feasible to defeat him when Geta is emperor.”
"And you needn't worry about being hidden away in the shadows, as it seems unlikely that Geta will exile you like his brother did? It sounds like you're saving yourself.” She averted her eyes which meant you were right. "But why do you need my help exactly?"
"I believe you care about Geta, don't you? He also cares for you in some way. Perhaps more than you realise.”
“There’s nothing—“
You were about to protest, but she silenced you by raising her hand. “I am his mother, so I know him well and I know you don't wish him dead too. Besides, it would be better for everyone if he rules Rome alone. So Caracalla must die as soon as possible before harms him. You're a medicus, aren't you? You could make a concoction of herbs that will kill him painlessly.”
Her words were sharp, but her gaze was unwavering, declaring that this was the path she had to take. But it was still strange that she said it so easily. It felt wrong.
"I wouldn't have come to you if I didn't have to. It's only a matter of time before he finds out, accuse me of betrayal, and send me back. This is our sole opportunity before Macrinus's return."
‘Our? There is no ‘our’, there is no we. Furthermore, it is not a decision that can be made alone. You present this as an easy solution, but I am a married woman and my husband is a Roman general. What will happen to my husband if your plan fails? Have you ever considered this?”
She rolled her eyes. “Isn't that why you should help me? Once he's dealt with my sons, Macrinus' next target is General Acacius. To get you.” You knew exactly what she meant and she realized that. "I imagine your husband feels very regretful about not taking Macrinus out that night. Because I know he won't let him get away with it.”
You swallowed hard, hating to admit that she was right. Julia smiled, seeming amused by your expression. "Oh, poor Aurelia. It must be tough to be caught between three men. Yet you are fortunate. Even if you were to become a widow one day, there'd be another man waiting for you. Since you're a Roman princess, you're worth a great deal.”
That was the last straw. You felt a rush of anger and stood up abruptly. “Get out of my house now! Leave!” You barked, pointing your finger at the courtyard door. Julia stood up, looking insolent.
“If you truly care about Geta, think about what I said.”
“I said leave!” You shouted, then pointing your finger at her. “I'm warning you, don't you ever speak ill of my husband and don't come to my house again!”
Some of the slaves rushed towards you.
“Domina!”
“Escort Lady Domna outside.” You said sharply.
Julia gave you a stern look and turned away. She raised her hand to stop the slave who was approaching her. Then she left the courtyard. You were still pretty angry and tired, which made your head spin even more. Decima put her arm around you and made you sit on the lectus (couch). She grabbed your feet and gently lifted them, helping you lie down. Norell and Tullia were keeping an eye on you from a distance, looking a bit worried. You looked them with a half smile and told them to get on with their work. You leaned your head back and closed your eyes. Decima took your hand.
"Would you like me to make you some dittany tea (cretan thyme)?" It was an herb that was usually used for relaxation. Decima was from Egypt, so she was familiar with herbal teas. Well, not as familiar as you are, of course.
You looked at her. "Not that, not if I'm..." you said quietly.
"Oh, you're right. Chamomile then?”
"Yes, that's better. Thank you my dear.”
After drinking your chamomile tea, you fell asleep in the courtyard. The slaves were mindful of your need for rest and made every effort to avoid disturbing you. Those who walked towards the courtyard did so as quietly as they could. Then Mau appeared and jumped next to you. However, you were so deeply asleep that you were unaware that she had fallen asleep on your lap. You were suddenly awakened by the sound of a sword being unsheathed and a man shouting. Mau meowed loudly, jumped out of your lap in fright and sought refuge elsewhere.
Seeing Octavius holding his sword to a man's throat who you had never seen before. Opened your eyes in surprise.
“Sir! Have mercy please!” He begged. You noticed some parchment papers and a reed pen in his hand.
You sat up on the couch. “Octavius, what is happening here?”
"My lady, this rat was attempting to draw your likeness without your permission."
You were taken aback. "Can you clarify what you mean by that?”
Decima turned to you. "This man came for the General, but we informed him that he was not present. I then assumed that he had departed. Forgive me, my lady.”
Your eyesbrows rose. “You came to draw my husband?”
The man swallowed. Octavius shook him. “Lady Aurelia asked you a question. Speak, thief!”
You warned him, “Octavius, please put that sword away and allow the man to speak.”
He obeyed. The man stood up ad bowed. “Yes, my lady. Aventine cloth dyers association are paying me to do a mural of General Acacius and the tiger he fought in the arena, my lady.”
“Explain yourself. Why would they do that?” Octavius barked.
“He’s famous, sir, the city, all the Roman citizens likes him. He’s a hero.”
You smiled, and he was indeed a hero to you. You picked up the fallen scrolls and took a moment to examine them. He had painted you so well, even the mau in your lap, which you found quite remarkable.
"But you drew me, his wife," you murmured.
"My lady, allow me to beat this insolent rat to death," Octavius hissed. The man shuddered with fear.
"Please, sir. Leave him alone," you said, a little harshly.
"My lady, forgive me. You were so beautiful when you slept that I was overcome with admiration and wanted to draw your likeness.”
You felt your cheeks flush involuntarily.
“How dare you!” Octavius roared.
“Calm yourself, sir.” You gave Octavius a warning look. You stood up and approached the man. “Please rise.”
The man stood up looking a little ashamed.
“I'll tell my husband you came by. You are well talented, I liked your drawing,” you said, showing him the parchment. “May I keep this?”
He looked at you and gave you a big, warm smile. "It's already yours, my lady. I'm really pleased you think so.
You glanced at Octavius, who seemed to be losing patience. Then you looked at the man. “You may yet leave now.”
The man bowed his head and gave you a shy look, then turned and walked out of the courtyard. Octavius accompanied him outside. You and Decima studied the painting the artist had created. She then enquired as to whether she might bring you something to eat, and with your approval, she departed. It would seem that Mau was hungry when she returned to you, as she rubbed her tail against your leg. She meowed loudly when she saw Norell approaching you a moment later with a tray in her hands.
"Where's Decima? I thought she was supposed to bring the food.
You noticed that Norell's cheeks flushed. "Well, my lady, she had some more work to do in the kitchen."
"Is she all right?"
She nodded, but her freckled cheeks were still red. You grabbed her wrist as her furtive look and tone of voice made you wonder what she was hiding. "Tell me, what's going on?"
"Um, Decima. She took food to Sir Octavius." She averted her eyes from you and smiled in a way that seemed a little evasive. You blinked in surprise and then laughed.
“Oh, well, well,” you said, amused. “When these two have become so close?"
Norell chuckled. "It has been a while now. She often speaks of him."
You giggled. "Where might they be now?"
She turned her head towards the courtyard. “Over there.”
"Perhaps we could go and take a quick look at them," you suggested, with a hint of mischief in your voice.
Norell let out a soft laugh and followed you behind. The slave at the door was about to speak to you but you silenced him by putting your index finger to your lips.
You and Norell peered out of the door, observed Octavius and Decima by the stables, talking, smiling at each other. The slave at the door looked at them from behind you and grinned too.
As you watched them from a distance you recognized a familiar feeling in the way they looked at each other, love.
"My dear Decima," you murmured, sharing her happiness.
Norell sighed deeply. "I hope that one day I will be in love too.”
You heard the other slave sigh and you both looked at him with surprise. He bowed his head shyly.
“Domina? My lady?”
All three of you were startled by Tullia's loud voice. Decima had heard it too, and when she turned her head towards you three. You blushed and hurried inside.
“Tullia! Why are you shouting?” you snapped.
“Oh, forgive me. I thought…”
You and Norell had laughed loudly running towards the other courtyard. Tullia was looking at you, a bit confused. Decima came into the courtyard and made her way towards your voices.
“My lady?” She then looked at Norell in a rather angry way.
“I didn't say anything,” she said, holding up her hands.
"Come now, why are you keeping this from me?" you smiled at her.
Decima blushed.
“You're already sooo obvious.” Norell said smugly.
“What did you say?” Decima frowned and approached her and Norell turned around to run away. They ran into the courtyard and you followed. Decima cupped water from the fountain and threw it at her. Norell also did the same. They began to soak each other, laughing together. Norell ran towards you, intending to hide, but as Decima attempted to throw water at her again, the water hit you in the face, and you flinched when you felt the cold water on your skin.
“Gods!” Tulla cried out. She ran towards you. “My lady, are you alright? Look what you've done! Cease this nonsense now!” She yelled at them.
Mau had also got her share of a soaking, licking herself like mad to dry.  Decima and Norell were looking at you with guilty looks on their faces. But you, far from being angry, approached them with a serious expression and cupped the water from the fountain and threw in their faces. And a fun game began between the three of you. Tullia's grunts mixed with your laughter and echoed throughout the courtyard.
By the time the general arrived, you were still engaged in your game. Octavius was observing you at the door, perhaps not fully aware of his surroundings.  Marcus heard the loud, cheerful laughter and dismounted, heading for the courtyard with curiosity. He looked where Octavius was looking and was struck by the difference between this view and the one he saw every time he returned home. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before. He was at a loss as to how to react. He smiled as he recognized your cheerful laughter. Then he looked at Octavius, who looked like he was stunned.
“What are you looking at?” he yelled.
Octavius startled with his loud voice. “Sir!”
“You may leave Octavius,” he grumbled. How dare he watch my wife? he thought. Well actually he was watching someone else but still.
You all froze when you noticed him. Decima and Norell bowed to him and made their way away from the situation as quickly as they could.
“I'll get you some dry clothes, my lady,” Tullia said and ran out of the courtyard.
How great. They all left you alone with Marcus. He regarded you with interest as he approached. The stone floor was quite wet, as were your dress. You bit your lip, uncertain of his reaction. Fortunately, a smile soon appeared on his face, and you breathed a sigh of relief.
"I must apologise for not realising your arrival."
"No need to apologise, my love. There is nothing quite like coming home and hearing your cheerful laugh, which is music to my ears."
You had a sudden sneeze. It wasn't the most romantic answer. Marcus chuckled. “My Lady. You’re all soaked."
Before long, Tullia appeared with a clean dress and the cotton cloth to drying yourself. "If I may, my lady-“
“Give that to me.” Marcus kindly took the cloth from her hand and wrapped it around you. Upon seeing your feet, you instinctively drew them back, as if to hide them. You hadn't realised how wet they were. He smiled and gently took you in his arms, which made your cheeks flush. After all, Tullia was following you behind, carrying your dry clothes in her hands.
Your hand was touching the golden-edged leather strips on his shoulder. Playing with them by running your fingers between each strip. He smiled in response. Once you had entered the room, Marcus set you down. Tullia then placed the dry clothes she had brought for you on the bed, leaving the two of you alone in the room.
"Allow me," you said as you reached for Marcus' armour, but he gently pushed your hands back.
"You first. I do love seeing you like this, but I'm afraid you might catch a chill." His eyes were roaming over your body.
You held his hands and placed them around your waist. “Maybe you could warm me up then?” You smiled naughtily.
He smirked and his hands were already undressing you with haste. Once he had removed your belt and your damp stola, his eyes lingered on the tunic that clung to your body. You were now very aware of the reason for the sudden change in his eyes. That his gentle hands would soon become more impetuous. Even before you reached for the holster on his waist, his lips found yours. His hands were trying to remove your long tunic and you were trying to remove his armour, but it was difficult. When your wet tunic fell to the floor and gathered around your feet, Marcus pushed it aside with his foot, never breaking the kiss. You couldn't tell him to take off his armour because your lips were completely captivated by his. Grabbing you by the hips, he picked you up and put you on the edge of bed. You pulled yourself back with all your might, kneeling on the bed. His armour touching your wet and naked body was a little strange, although seductive. Marcus thought you were playing a game, so he tightened his grip on your lips, not allowing you to break the kiss. But as he tried to come towards you, putting his knee on the bed, the sword at his holster hit the edge. He looked down at himself in surprise and laughed.
“I tried to tell you,” you laughed and helped him out of his armour.
“I must have been under your spell, princess.” He grinned.
Once he'd taken off his armour, Marcus grabbed you around the waist and laid you back on the bed. You couldn't believe how excited you became each time, as if it was the first time he'd ever laid you down and positioned himself on top of you. Moreover, how could it be that each touch of his lips to yours felt so different from the other? It really amazed you that such a simple touch could evoke such strong feelings. Perhaps it was the endless blending of pleasures that this strong bond between you bestowed upon you. What a treat, what a magnificent and wonderful feeling. His lips and tongue were exploring every inch of your body as your bodies fit together perfectly, and you enjoyed one pleasure after another. It felt like there was no end to the adventure of exploring each other's bodies and their needs. Every time you encountered a new sensation and a lot of pleasure. Even Marcus, who was an expert lover, found this to be true. Despite his extensive experience, he had never made love to anyone before you, not even once. It was more than a sexual fulfilment. It satisfies his soul too, as he inhales your scent, touches you, tastes you, he feels complete, he feels alive. To him, you were made for him. The moment you got into his heart, everything lost its meaning; you and all the other insignificant things. You were born into his life like the sun into a dark, war-torn, blood-stained, boring, lonely world. You brought him light and purpose. From now on, he would live to serve you, to make you happy, to protect you from all evil. With you by his side, he was more likely to put his duties for Rome second.
“Marcus,” you moaned. He bent his head and kissed your lips, where you said his name. He didn't want to hear his name from anyone else's lips; only you had to say it, the others not allowed. They couldn't say it like you anyway. It wasn't even a possibility.
“What do you wish me to do, my love?” He whispered in your ear. His lips were caressing your earlobe.
You kissed his cheek and pulled his head towards you with your hands in his hair, it was your turn to whisper in his ear. “You know already.”
He grinned, of course he knew. His big hands gripped your hips tightly, deepening his thrusts and quickening his pace. As you moaned in response, he kissed you. Not to silence you, but to feel your beautiful voice within his very own mouth. Soon together you reached the overwhelming end of your pleasure, moaning into his mouth for the one last time. You remained in that intimate position for a while, breathing heavily. Feeling each other's hearts beating against your chests under your palms. Savoring this glorious moment.
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The bright sunshine streamed through the window, illuminating the room with a warm glow. The soft breeze from the balcony caressed your still damp hair, causing you to shiver slightly and pull the sheet over your shoulders. When you heard the swallows chirping, you decided to open your eyes. Marcus wasn't with you in the bed. You frowned and sat up.
“Morning my beautiful wife.”
You turned your head towards his voice. Marcus was at his desk, looking pretty busy with a quill pen and some papers.
“Morning.” You gave him a smile. “Did I sleep for too long again?”
“Just a little,” he replied turning his head back down to continue writing something on the paper. You got up and put on your tunic. However, you then felt nauseous again.
“Excuse me,” you said covering your mouth with hand. Hurried out of the room. Marcus put his quill pen down on the table and stood up. He walked out of the room and followed you into the latrina, waiting outside the door.
"Aurelia, my love. I'm rather concerned."
As you stepped out of the latrina, he put his arms around you.
“Maybe I should call for another medicus?’
"I don't think that is necessary," you said as you walked back to the room together.Marcus helped you to sit on the edge of the bed. He crouched down in front of you, his hands gently smoothing your dishevelled hair.
"You said that you might get better if you rested. However, I can see you're still not feeling well." His face showed concern.
"I'm actually feeling better today." You mumbled. It wasn't a complete lie. The nausea wasn't as bad as it had been the day before. You felt you had no complaints, knowing what was causing this feeling. Marcus lifted your chin up with his hand. You didn't want to tell him before you were certain, but he was so concerned. He needed to know.
"I sense you're hiding something from me.”
You looked at him, blinking your eyes and inhaling a deep breath. "Marcus, I, um. I wasn't sure if I should tell you until I was certain..."
He looked at you from under his eyebrows. "Continue."
You took his hands in yours and looked into his eyes. "I believe I'm with child.”
Marcus froze. His eyes widened in surprise, his pupils dilated. Then the most marvellous smile appeared on his face. He kissed your lips, and his heart overflowed with bliss. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling towards him. He buried his face between your breasts, then slid it to your belly, planting kisses along the way. You felt his lips on your belly.
"What have I done to deserve you?"
“It might be too early to say for sure. Perhaps we should wait a little longer-“
His lips found yours suddenly. He put his knee on the edge of the bed next to yours and laid you back down. You wrapped your arms around his neck. Without breaking the kiss, he settled right next to you on the bed. He put one hand on your belly.
“My beautiful Aurelia,” he purred. “I love you, with all my heart and all my soul.” His warm breath caressed your face, your heart blossomed.
“I love you, Marcus. I love you much more than words can ever say.” You touched his cheek with your fingers. “I hope that I am carrying your child.”
“Our child.” he corrected you.
You smiled. “Our child,” you repeated.
He kissed you again, your heart beat with bliss, which soon turns into desire. “I shall spend all my days with you." He said huskily as his hands lifted up the hem of your tunic. “I shall spend all my time making love to you, over and over until our bodies become one.” His lips found yours again and soon turned into a hungry, lustful kiss. As he slid into your shaking body, and you moaned with exultation. This was love. This was blessing. Elysium on Earth.
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Over the next few days, you tried a series of tests to find out whether you were carrying a child or not.One of the tests was a common one in Rome and Egypt. All you had to do was urinate in two different bags; one filled with barley and the other with wheat. If the grain in either bag sprouted after being peed on, it meant the woman was definitely with child.As it turned out, they were right. You saw the barley sprouting within a few days, and the wheat took a little longer. Decima said that meant you were carrying a boy. That's how you felt, they said it was a maternal instinct. You never thought of yourself as a mother, at least not this early. But it was indescribable happiness. Marcus was treating you with more tenderness than ever. You were delighted to be the cause of this amazing man having such wonderful feelings. It was a pleasure to see him so cheerful, and the others in the villa were equally pleased to share in his joy.
During this time, Marcus had been closely involved in the training of the soldiers at the Campus Martius (Fields of Mars) just outside the city. Macrinus had been absent for over a week and it was to be expected that he would soon reach Libya. As the general of the army, it was his duty to be prepared for any eventuality and to train his troops accordingly. No matter how busy he was, no matter how late he came home at night, at the end of the day, you found him in bed snuggled between your breasts and legs. You never complained as you wanted him so much as ever thanks to changes of your body that had led to heightened sexual desire.
That morning, when you were helping Marcus put on his armour, you mentioned Julia. It seems she was pretty desperate, even talking to him about Caracalla too.
"Geta is keeping her hidden," Marcus said as he checked the strings on his armbands, "It's likely that Caracalla will eventually find her. She may have a point about Caracalla being prepared to assign Macrinus as Praetorian prefect. However, he will need to return to accept it. I must finish him before he arrives in Rome." He said with determination.
"I suppose he will return soon, then?”
"He must be. I'm waiting for the messenger pigeon to come back. If the legion commander in Libya confirms he's arrived, I'll make the necessary preparations."
You swallowed, feeling concerned by the fact that he was about to fight Macrinus again. Marcus took your face in his hands.
"Please, do not be concerned, my lady. I gave you my word that you won't lose me."
You nodded. "You do what you need to do, my love."
"I will. For you." He put his hand on your belly. "For our child. I will do whatever it takes to make sure he grows up in a safe Rome, and with other Roman children.”
“I am certain you will.” You embraced him and rested your head on his chest, running your fingers through the contours of the medusa.
“Speaking of children,” Marcus said. You lifted your head to look at him.
“Hmm?”
“All the kids at the Poorhouse and the people there.” He murmured.
“I haven't been to visit them in ages. What about them?”
"You don't have to go. Please don't tire yourself out. I want you to stay here and get some rest. Besides, It seems that Geta is already looking after them in your absence."
You raised your eyebrows in surprise. “Really?”
"Yes, that does astonish me too. I find it unusual that he would spend his coins on something like that."
"He said he would, but I must admit I didn't expect him to keep his promise."
"You might be right about him. Maybe he could be a better emperor.’ You sensed the sincerity of his tone. "However, I tend to agree with Julia about Caracalla." He said, his face suddenly serious. "Every moment he breathes is detrimental to Rome.”
"Julia almost begged me to poison him."
He was checking his sword carefully. "No, that's treacherous. Even for him. He is an emperor, after all. It must be done honorably."
You felt tense. Or was he planning to act soon? He never mentioned it though.
He put his sword in its holster. "Enough politics, I think." He smiled. "I must take my leave now, my lady.”
For some reason, you felt a sudden sense of unease. "Will you be on duty at the Field of Mars today too?"
"That's correct," he replied after adjusting his armour for the last time. "Please don't engage in any risky things during my absence." He said in a commanding tone.
“I'll be making herbal tea, too dangerous,” you said mockingly.
He gave a little laugh and kissed your temple before leaving the room. As you followed him outside, you realised that the uneasy feeling inside you was getting worse. Maybe it was an unnecessary consequence of your new situation: worrying too much about everything. Marcus looked back at you one last time before heading out. You gave him a smile and then he left.
You made your way downstairs to the girls. You had little chat while they were engaged in weaving the carpet. There wasn't much else to do for the rest of the day, except lie down and rest. You visited Unio to feed her and brush her pearly-white mane with your fingers. Marcus had forbidden you to ride, not until the birth. He'd also told you not to go to the poorhouse, and you'd had to obey him on that one too. In the last few days you had become a little better with your knife and Marcus had admired you for it for the first time. But your overly anxious husband didn't want you to pick it up for a while either. Why did carrying a child have to be so boring?
In the evening, you were feeding Mau. Then you heard footsteps approaching from the courtyard.
"Domina!" The slave boy came running to you. He had that look on his face again, hesitation.
"What is it now?"
"The Emperor." He mumbled.
"Sister!"
You were quite taken aback to see Geta appear out of nowhere. He approached you and embraced you while you stared at him with your mouth hanging open.
“What are you doing here?”
Geta made a face. "Is this the manner in which you choose to greet me?"
"Well, apologies. I am simply astonished."
Geta looked around. "So this is your little house.”
You walked towards courtyard together. "Please have a seat, your majesty," you said, gesturing to him.
All eyes in the villa were on your emperor half-brother, who was seated comfortably on the armchair wearing a crown on his head and an overly flamboyant toga. You requested that the slaves bring you wine and fruit. Geta examined the wine glass and took a sip. As you observed him sitting where his mother had sat days ago, you came to recognise the differences between him and her. They were nothing alike. You were surprised that you had never realised this until now.
"It's been almost weeks, I've missed you a lot." He said suddenly. "How are you feeling now?" He looked you up and down.
"I feel better now, thank you." Your hands involuntarily went to your belly. You were unsure whether you should tell him or not. He was so unpredictable that it was difficult to guess the outcome of saying something like this to him. Perhaps it would be best to wait until your belly gets bigger before sharing.
"My mother," he suddenly said in a serious tone. You looked at him. "She's been here. I know what she told you.”
“You do?”
"As she gets older, her behaviour is getting worse. Don't take her seriously."
"Do you think so? What she said to me is something that should be taken seriously."
"You're right, it's horrible. Caracalla really has gone mad, but her intention of killing him... It's simply not right.”
"Is there something new about his madness?"
"Apart from the fact that became Macrinus' plaything? Well, he won't take me to any meetings anymore. He's got a new toy.”
“How you mean?”
"Macrinus' new right-hand man. He's like his shadow, taking care of things while he's away. I've never met him before, but my brother has already assigned him to the important tasks. I hadn't even been informed about it. Can you believe it?"
You thought about what Marcus said to you about Macrinus' spy. "Could he perhaps be one of the legates?"
"No, he's just come from the north. I don't think anyone knows him, not even the general, your husband."
"If Macrinus hid him like Gaius, I don't think he meant well."
"That's what I thought. You're clever, sister. I've missed talking to you. But not politically, of course." He grinned.
You smiled back. "You're helping your mother to hide from Caracalla, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am." He snapped, playing with his glass.
"What if he finds out?"
He shrugged. "That prick sent her without asking me, anyway." Suddenly Geta put his glass on the table and leaned towards you. "Aurelia, he's really out of control. I know Caracalla, always was, but this time it's different. He's hallucinating, dreaming, and that worries me. I know he'll hurt someone else, if not himself. Last time he nearly got me killed, all because of a stupid dream he had."
"Did you say hallucinations?”
He nodded. "I'm certain it's her. Mother. She did this to him. I gave her a clear warning, but she refused to listen. I'm asking you because you're the expert. Is it possible for a herb to have such an effect?"
“Many kinds of plants can do that. But how could Lady Domna possibly poison him?"
"Not directly of course. My slave caught her talking to another slave in the street. She is not aware, but I know everything.” He exhaled deeply. “She should never have come back, she'll get herself killed."
It was something that would endanger not only herself, but everyone including his own son Geta. How could she be so irresponsible? She must be mad for sure just like her son.
"If its on his drink or food, if I can examine it maybe I can help.”
Geta smiled smugly. “That's why I came here.”
He gestured to one of his slaves who was holding a small wooden box. Geta reached the box, opened and took out a vial filled with red liquid and handed it to you.
"Here. This is a sample of the wine he drank yesterday. Will that be enough?"
You took it, uncorked it and sniffed. As you were already highly sensitive to smells, this one smelled completely wrong.
"Yes, I think this would be enough. Let me observe this first.”
"You do that. I must return now. I don't want him to realize I left the palace and came here. He's rather mad and unpredictable more than ever." He stood up and put his hands on your shoulders. "If you happen to find out what it is, send me word. I'll send one of the slaves here. It seems that I can no longer trust my own guards. He is about to place them all under the control of Macrinus' rat."
You nodded. "I will see what I can do, brother."
Suddenly he leaned in, wrapping his arms around you. You tried to pull back, but it was futile.
“Geta,” you hissed. “You should not touch me like this. Please-“
“What's wrong with embracing my sister?” he said arrogantly.
You couldn't help but feel that he was right, but it still felt a little awkward. He laughed at the look on your face and leaned his head down to kiss your cheek. "Take care of yourself, sister. Hope I'll see you soon," he said, with a wink, and left the courtyard with his slaves following him behind.
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Campus Martius. (Field of Mars).
General Acacius arrived there after completing his other duties at the barracks. The layout of this place is reminiscent of an army camp, with a number of small buildings.
“Attention! The general is here!” Octavius barked at the soldiers. They immediately stood at attention.
Acacius' eyes were fixed on the recruits. Some of them were pretty clumsy. He jumped down from his horse, squinting at them.
"Chin up! Chest out! Shoulders back! Suck your stomach in!” Octavius commanded, touching their shoulders to ensure they were doing it right. Then he ran to Acacius' side as he approached them. "Sir!" he nodded to him.
"Sir Octavius, these soldiers are struggling to get in line properly! This is how you train them?” he yelled at him.
That's what being a Roman General entailed, after all. Keeping an eye on the rookies and their commanders, supervising his second-in-command, training all the soldiers to keep the army ready for anything, constantly meeting with the Legates to assess the situation. Keeping track of the legions abroad was undoubtedly the hardest task. The army pigeon was the most efficient way to communicate. A trained pigeon could deliver a message in two or three days, whereas a soldier would take months to do the same.
He looked the soldiers in the face as he passed, tapping some on the shoulder to make sure they were properly in line. The soldiers saluted him by putting their hands on their chests. Some of them looked nervous.
“At ease!” Marcus shouted and the soldiers got into a relaxed position to continue their training.
Octavius walked with him towards the building where the Genaral's room was located. Cato was there, waiting for him outside his room. He saluted him.
“Cato, why you are not with the recruits?’’
"Sir, I wanted to let you know that the pigeon has arrived. I have placed it in its cage and I am waiting here to ensure its safety." He said it in a very serious manner.
Octavius chuckled. Marcus grinned.
“Are you thinking what I'm thinking?” Marcus asked him. They were both looking at Cato.
“I believe this prick using the bird as an excuse to avoid training.”
Cato opened his eyes wide. “Never, sir!”
"Who gave you permisson to talk back?" Marcus shouted at him. "Now get out of my sight before I train you myself!"
“Yes, sir!”
Marcus and Octavius laughed after he hurriedly picked up his sword and rushed out. "This boy is really...” He murmured.
"He's been working really hard lately," Octavius said, opened the door and waited for Marcus to enter.
“Do you believe so?” He entered the room and sitting down in his chair and putting his sword on the desk.
"I think he's ready for the platoon training. If you agree.”
Marcus opened the lid of the cage and took the small sealed paper tied to the pigeon's foot. "I still don't think he's ready. He must to learn to overcome his hesitation first." The seal belonged to the Eighth Legion. It was stationed in Leptis Magna, a likely place for Macrinus to visit. Marcus lifted the seal and opened the thin paper.
“My dear friend, the esteemed General Acacius. I Caius Drusus commander of eighth legion, salute you! I have dispatched my men to the harbour of Alexandria as you ordered, however both ships that came from Rome brought only armoury and provisions. Sir Macrinus or his men were not among those who disembarked. Also, we have received word of a few men gathering in the Syrian sector, which may be in line with your suspicions. We await your orders. Rome Victrix!”
Marcus crumpled the paper in his fist and squeezed it. Octavius figured it was bad news.
“Sir? What does it say?”
Marcus slammed his hand down hard on the desk, his whole body filled with anger. “Damn you Macrinus!”
Marcus found himself somewhat perplexed. He was certain that Macrinus was on his way to Ostia and that the ship was waiting for him there. But why hadn't he been seen in the harbour? Octavius picked up the paper he had crumpled up and read it with curiosity.
“How can this be?" He put his hands on the desk and looked at him. Or maybe he never actually left? Did he play a trick on us?"
Marcus was mulling it over. Why would he do that? What was he trying to act? He was such a clever enemy that he never gave away his trail. For Marcus, fighting was simple. It was easy to move your sword according to your enemies movement and cut him down. But playing mind games was tough. It was exhausting to think like your enemy, to anticipate his next move, to always try to be one step ahead of him. Especially when the enemy was someone who had the emperor in the palm of his hand. Could he be seeking retaliation? Or had he never left Rome? Marcus exhaled nervously.
“Octavius, I want you to place two men outside the villa.” He ordered, turning to him. “Is Felix still on Palatine Hill?”
"Yes, sir. He's positioned there as you ordered." He'll let me know if anything arises.
Marcus put his hand to his face, closed his eyes and sighed again. “We're missing something, Octavius.”
“What could it be, sir?”
“I'm not certain yet. But I'll find out. Make sure all the men are gathered in our usual place tomorrow night, in incognito. We shall talk over. Now leave me alone.”
“Yes sir,” he said and left the room.
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Villa…
You had been studying the wine residue that Geta had brought you for most of the day, with the help of Decima and Norell. Despite making a few mistakes and experiencing a few setbacks, you eventually managed to identify the substance as the fruit of the Red Shanglu plant (Phytolacca acinosa). Given its red colour, it was a logical that it would blend well with wine.
“Why doesn't it kill him immediately?” Decima asked. She shook the vial in her hand.
"It's not a particularly poisonous plant. Or maybe the person who made it is inexperienced with it. However, even the smallest amount could cause brain damage. That's more dangerous than death,” you muttered.”
“What kind of fruit is this? Can we find it around here?” Norell asked.
“No, unfortunately not. It's probably a fruit from China or somewhere nearby.”
“Didn't the Empress come here from Syria?” Decima asked.
“Damascus is frequented by Chinese traders, couldn't she have brought it from there?”
“That is true.” When you were in Egypt,your uncle had purchased a number of plants from traders who came from Damascus to Alexandria. This was not an auspicious sign. It would be very difficult to create an antidote without the plant itself.
“So what are you going to do?” Norell asked.
“I need to to speak with Geta. I must inform him of this."
“But the soldiers outside, won't let you.” Decima murmured.
Right. Two of Marcus's men arrived at noon for some reason. You were certain that if you went with them to Geta, there would be tension between those two again. Moreover, it was already dark, and he must be on his way back.
You opened your small leather notebook to review the notes you had taken earlier and consulted the description of this plant. From what you can gather from your notes, it seems that reversing it is not an option. However, there was another fruit that could potentially help to mitigate and cure it. Acorus gramineus (commonly known as Japanese sweet flag). Of course. How you didn’t think of that? You recalled your Uncle Vicius with respect and found that his teachings had proved useful to you in your life. You promptly rose to your feet and took a moment to survey the shelves. This plant is a common genus used in Rome and other regions. You attempted to reach for the jar at the top of the shelves, but it was out of reach. You rose on tiptoe and reached as far as you could. Before Decima had a chance to get up and come over to help, another hand suddenly appeared and grasped the jar.
"I did warn you not to do anything dangerous, didn't I?” Suddenly Marcus appeared next to you.
You looked at him in surprise. When had he arrived? The girls greeted him and left the room. "Jars are now a source of danger to you, General?" You teased, took the jar from his hand and put it on the table.
Marcus smiled and approached you, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He planted a tender kiss on your hair and breathed you in, finding your ear. “I missed you.” Then he kissed your cheeks, your nose and your forehead, making you giggle. Then he turned you to him and kissed you on the lips before you could even open your mouth to answer.
“I missed you too, my handsome husband.”
He chuckled and looked at the vials, herbs on the table. "It looks like you had as busy a day as I did.”
You took a deep breath. “I guess I did."
He put a hand under your chin and turned your head towards him. His eyes were already filled with curiosity. "Something has happened. Tell me."
You put your hands on his shoulders. "Geta was here."
He raised his eyebrows. "Your Emperor half-brother Geta?”
“I know no other Geta,” you laughed. But he didn’t.
““What did he want? Why did he come?” He asked in a rather stern tone. Just hearing his name was enough to make him angry. You place your hands on either side of his face. It had an instant calming effect on him, his expression softened immediately.
“You've just arrived, my love, you must be tired. We can talk while we eat."
You picked up a jar of jasmine from one of the shelves.
"I'll put it in our room, it smells nice and has a calming effect."
Marcus put the jar back and grasped your wrist. "There's no need, my love. Your smell is much nicer, and it's the only thing that can calm me down." He led you out of the room.
Once you had entered the courtyard, you requested that Tullia bring the food and walked to your room. Before heading for the stairs, Marcus stopped when he noticed Octavius and Decima talking.
“Why is he still here?”
You chuckled. He looked at you with questioning eyes. You grabbed his muscular arm. It was your turn to tug. “Come now, leave them be.”
“I now understand why he has been distracted lately.” He grunted as he climbed the stairs with you.
“Please don't be angry with him."
“I'm not. But I need to talk to him later.” He said after entering the room.
Your food was brought into the room while you helped Marcus take off his armor. As usual, Marcus sat you on his lap while eating.
"You know, I'm not sure if I'll be able to fit on your lap when my belly gets so big," you said as he fed you a grape.
“Nonsense. There's plenty of room for both of you on my lap," he said, opening his arms. You tilted your head to the side and snuggled into his chest. "As a matter of fact, I can hold three, four, five, or even more," he added, eating his food. You lifted your head to look at his face. "What are you going to do with so many children, General?" you asked, opening your eyes wide.
“I'm going to raise my own army,” he said, laughing.
You laughed too. “Since you are so lascivious husband, it is quite possible.”
“Is it just me? You are too, my sweet wife.”
Your cheeks flushed. “You made me,” you touched his shoulder with yours.
He bent his head and kissed your shoulder. “Pleasure is all mine, my lady.”
“Well, I didn't say I was grateful.” You teased.
As soon as you said that, he looked at you differently. You locked eyes. The atmosphere in the room suddenly shifted. You were well aware of why his eyes had changed. "Then I'll take you in such a way that you'll be eternally grateful." He bent down and kissed you passionately on the lips. His kiss became more intense as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He put his hands in your hair and drank so deeply from your mouth that you almost forgot how to breathe. But you wanted so desperately that you never wanted him to stop. Even more so now, you wanted him more than you ever had, and he seemed to be quite pleased about it.  Marcus helped you lie back against his arm. He pulled the hem of your tunic up your legs and pulled you back onto his lap. As he slid the straps of the tunic down your shoulders, you could feel him getting impatient under your hips. When his lips slid to your neck, you threw your head back to gasp for air. But then you gasped again as he started to play with your already very sensitive breasts. Just the touch of his warm tongue made you feel like it was going to send you over the edge.
“Hmm your breasts are so responsive than ever my love."
You were sure your cheeks were redder than wine. “It's simply expecting for this phase,” you said breathlessly. Your impatient fingers ran through his hair. You were eager for him to take you now.
“It only adds to your beauty. You are so beautiful to be real,” he said huskily. You kissed his neck in response. He grabbed you by the hips, lifted you up and laid you on the bed. Soon he was on top of you. You wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled him to you. Or rather, you tried. He chuckled. “You are very impatient for someone who is not grateful, princess?”
You sighed. “I apologise, I shouldn't have said that. I'm so grateful, please, Marcus.” You squirmed desperately. It was one of your lustful husband's favorite moments. “Please what, my love?” He put his knee between your legs as slowly as he could.
"I want you," you purred.
His lips were on your earlobe, and the feel of his hot breath on your neck made you shudder.
"You want me where?" He teased. His fingers caressed your nipples, his glorious length brushing against your entrance which driving you mad.
"I want you inside me, please," you whimpered.
He smiled wide, like he won a victory. “I shall fulfill my princess’ desire.” And there he was, right where you wanted him most. You felt like you were going to explode with happiness and break into little pieces. You felt proud of yourself for making progress and getting to this point. Now you both knew each other's bodies and desires well. It was a progress you didn't expect from yourself, and it wasn't difficult at all. Everything was easier with him. Desiring him, kissing him, feeling his skin under your fingers – it was like a need for life. You needed him. You needed him inside you, on your skin, in the air you breathed, everywhere. With him, everything was beautiful and complete. Without him, everything was missing and lost. With him, you felt alive.
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"I'm afraid I may be a little late tonight,” Marcus said as you tied the strings on his armbands. ”You'll keep your promise, won't you?”
Oh yes, your promise to him. After a lengthy discussion, he agreed to your proposal of preparing the herbal mixture for Caracalla, but he would prefer you to remain at the villa for the time being.
“I've positioned one of my men near Palatine Hill. One of the soldiers waiting outside will deliver it to him. So there's no need for you to go there," he said in a commanding tone.
You nodded. “I shall do whatever my husband says.”
A broad smile spread across his face. He wrapped his arms around you. “Say it again.”
You giggled. “I'll do whatever my husband says.”
“My ears have been blessed.” He pulled you to him and kissed you on the lips. He then sighed breaking the kiss. “I'm afraid I must take my leave now.”
“I know you'll come back to me eventually, so it will be easier to await for your arrival.”
He took your face in his hands. "You will wait my return, then, my lady?"
Of course you will, why did he ask such a question?
“I have waited a long time for you, Aurelia,” he said in his velvet voice. His expression was severe, the brown of his eyes warm, intense. “How could I not come back to you?” He kissed you on the temple. He grabbed a few strands of your hair, burried his nose in them inhaling your scent. You rose on tiptoes and kissed him with all the warmth of a woman in love. And he returned your kiss with all the joy and happiness of a man in love. If only Cato hadn't knocked on the door at that moment, you might have stayed there till night.
Once Marcus had left, you went downstairs to your little clinic-like room to make the herbal mixture. With the help of the girls, you managed to do it in less time than you expected. You did as Marcus told you and handed a vial of the mixture to one of the soldiers who were positioned outside the villa. He mounted his horse and headed to Palatine Hill.
As you sat with the girls until the evening, you found yourself feeling that strange sense of unease you had yesterday. It was just like that dream you had a few weeks ago. No matter how hard you tried to ignore it, you couldn't. And it didn't seem to go away until Marcus came back.
It was just after midnight and you were lying in bed playing with your wedding ring. Mau was sleeping peacefully next to you. But unlike him, you were far away, feeling peaceful. You couldn't sleep without seeing him return to you. Soon, however, you heard some horses neighing and murmuring, and your body filled with excitement. You quickly got out of bed. You wrapped your shawl around yourself and left the room, heading for the stairs. But you were halfway up the stairs when you saw the face of a man you didn't know. If you hadn't been holding on to the railing, you would have stumbled. One of the slaves stepped in front of the man, but he pushed him hard. From his clothes, it was clear he was one of the imperial guards. They usually kept their galea on, but not this man. At his command, five or six more soldiers entered the courtyard and all of them stood at attention. They were all dressed like imperial guards. You were wide-eyed, trying to understand what is happening, Decima ran up to you and held your hands nervously. Everyone in the villa woke up to the sounds and rushed to your side.
“You must be Princess Aurelia,” the man said, nodding then smiling weirdly at you. His eyes lingered too long on your body. You felt uncomfortable with the way he looked at you. You pulled your shawl tighter around your body. "Who do you think you are? I will not tolerate you entering my house at this time of night like a raider. I want to know who you are! Speak!"
The man laughed arrogantly. "My name is Flavius, my lady. You do not know me, but your husband does." He took a few steps towards you. "However, even if it's a very tempting idea, I am not here because of Acacius. As for your question, I am here by the command of your brother, the Emperor Caracalla. I shall take you to him."
You were both confused and afraid. "At this time of night? What is so urgent?"
"Oh, true. I forgot to mention the charges against you, forgive me." He smirked, gesturing to one of his men.
The man unfolded the scroll paper to read it aloud. "Princess Aurelia, you are under arrest by the command of the emperor. Your charges are; attempting poisoning of the Emperor himself, conspiracy behind his back, and aiding and abetting the exiled empress."
You swallowed, your heart pounding fast. It seemed likely that the ointment you had sent to Geta must have fallen into Caracalla's hands somehow. "I don't accept these charges! There must be a misunderstanding." you said.
"It doesn't really matter, my lady, I have been instructed to take you to Palatine Hill. And I will." The man came close enough to reach for your arm, but you stepped back.
"Lady Aurelia is the wife of General Acacius and also a princess. When the general returns home, they will go together to the emperor. Perhaps it would be inadvisable to take her by force, sir Flavius?” Tullia said firmly.
They knew each other? You wondered who he was.
”I remember you now. You stood up to me like this back then too. You may have aged but you're still stupid. Get out of my way at once!” Flavius barked.
Wiht Tullia's lead, the slaves and girls moving in front of you as if shielding you. The man sighed and drew his sword.
“No!” you cried.
“The Emperor's orders are final! Get out of my way or I will slay you all with my sword!”
“Do as he says!” You warned them, your voice trembling with fear. They regarded you with an uncertain expression.You held Tullia's hands. "Please, I don't want you to get hurt. I will be fine, I promise."
Then they bowed their heads and, with visible reluctance, withdrewing involuntarily.
You looked at him. “I should dress properly, first,” you said and headed for the room.
“I'm waiting, princess!” He said arrogantly.
How dare he talks to a princess like that? As soon as you walked in the room, immediately grabbed your scabbard and tied it around your ankle. You had to be prepared for anything. You put your hands on your belly, hoping everything would be fine. You put on your stola, look around the room one last time, opened the door and went out. Walked down the stairs, looking at the slaves who looked at you with concern. They were your friends, your family. You smiled at them reassuringly. The man named Flavius held out his hand to you. "My lady.”
You stepped towards outside, choosing to ignore him. Suddenly, you noticed Marcus' soldiers, who were brought to their knees with swords held at their throats by guards. "Put your swords away!" you barked them. But they looked at their commander. Flavius nodded. The men drew back their swords and sheathed them.
"General Acacius has entrusted us with the Lady Aurelia," one of the soldiers said. "We must accompany her.”
Flavius turned to him. "So that's what your General told you, eh? What if I don't let you then?"
The soldier looked at him sharply and drew his sword halfway, the sharp sound of the blade making you tense. "Then we'll have to stop you."
"No, please," you interrupted. You stopped the soldiers by raising your hands.
"My lady, please step aside. The general's orders are certain, and if we die for him, it would be an honour to do so."
Flavius laughed cruelly. “We must give him what he wants then!” He ordered to his soldiers and they all drew their swords once more. You were worried because they were outnumbered. Despite all of your objections, they began to fight. Flavius took hold of your arm and led you towards the carriage.
“Get your hands off me!” You struggled, but he was so strong. "Don't you hear me? I am your princess! You can't touch me!" You shouted at the top of your lungs but it was in vain. He made sure you were seated in the carriage and turned round. After his men killed Marcus' soldiers they mounted their horses at his command. Soon the carriage moved to take you to Palatine Hill. You couldn't stop your tears and sobs as you looked at the soldiers lying lifeless on the ground.
Marcus, where are you? you murmured as you gazed out the window, surveying the dark and gloomy streets.
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A place just outside the city…
Marcus and Octavius are waiting in one of the dark streets, which is meant to be a secret meeting place. They're both wearing black cloaks. He had stationed a few of his men at key points in the city to be ready for any move Macrinus might make, and every now and then they hold a small, secret meeting in this gathering place. Secrecy was very important. It had to be late at night because it was an important matter that was only between them. But tonight there was something odd. None of his men showed up. They should have been here by now. Octavius looked down the road but didn't see anyone. They decided to wait a bit more, soon they heard footsteps coming closer. It was one of Marcus's men.
“General! Sir!” The man was out of breath. “Guards. Macrinus.”
Marcus touched his shoulder. “Easy. Breathe.” He told him. “Speak clearly. Why are you on your own?"
"Speak, Aris, what has happened?" Octavius growled.
"The imperial guards arrested all of our men and took them to Palatine Hill."
"On what grounds? What did they say?"
"Have you seen Macrinus there?" Marcus asked.
He shook his head. Suddenly there was the sound of  number of horses approaching towards them and they all tensed up.
"You were followed, you fool!" Octavius hissed.
Guards quickly surrounded and circled around them. One of them looked at Marcus. It was Flavius. “Acacius, It's been too long. Strange night, isn't it?” He jumped down from his horse. Marcus looked at him, astonished.
“Flavius?” He looked him up and down. He recognised his rank by his attire. “So you've been appointed commander of the guards? I thought you were up north.”
So he was the Macrinus' shadow man. He knew exactly what he was doing, Marcus thought.
“I returned a while ago,” he took a step closer to him. “Since I have unfinished business here. With you.” His voice sharpened.
Marcus remained still.
“You killed my brother, remember? You took him from me. And for what? For screwing your wife when you're in the south?”
Marcus clenched his fists. His body was filled with rage. He was dangerously on the edge.
"I've been looking forward to this moment for quite some time, Acacius. I have been waiting for the right moment to take what you have from you when you feel happy.”
Marcus grasped hilt of his sword. Octavius and Aris were ready, waiting for his command.
"So Macrinus made you his commander? Is this how you plan to get revenge on me?"
"He's a very clever man, I'll give him that. And he's determined to finish you, though not as determined as I am." He grinned.
"Right, so how do we do it? One on one? You and I?" Marcus drew his sword to half-length.
Flavius laughed. "You've already lost, Acacius, why should I bother?" He gestured for his man to read the emperor's order. The man unfolded the roll of paper. "General Marcus Acacius! You are under arrest by order of Emperor Caracalla! Your charges are; placing men in front of the emperor's house to spy on him, to command the armies for your own benefit, attempting to murder a member of the senate, abusing the title of general, going behind the emperor's back.”
"Right," said Flavius, coming over to him. He held his gaze. “The Emperor wants to see you. He'll be the one to decide your fate.” He approached him. “Just as he will decide your wife's fate.” He grinned with his teeth.
Marcus grabbed his throat with both hands. “What did you just say?”
The guards half-drew their swords and took up attack positions. Octavius and Aris gripped the hilt of their swords in response.
"Speak, or I'll rip your neck off!" he roared, his fingers gripping his throat tighter. Flavius seemed amused.
"Your wife, Aurelia, is a beautiful woman. I took her from the villa to Palatine Hill. I told you it was a strange night.”
Marcus punched him in the face and kicked him in the stomach, mad him fell to the ground. He then quickly drew his sword. In a flash he leapt on him and held his sharp sword to his neck. “If you say her name again, I'll cut your tongue off!” He barked. “Why did you take her there? Speak, damn you!” He was boiling with anger.
Flavius, however seemed calm. “Don’t be a fool, Acacius, if you kill me now, you'll get nothing. I'm only doing my duty.”
Unfortunately it was true, he could kill him and all the guards one by one, but that would only result in a higher charge being brought against him. Furthermore, Marcus's primary concern was you. He had to make sure you were alright, which meant he had to go to Palatine Hill with them.
Flavius ignored sharp sword pressing against his throat, laughing cruelly at him. “Revenge is a son of a whore, isn't it?”
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kanri-domo · 2 months ago
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Erm uh so basically uh um
Public play with dottore? With either sounding or a small vibrator on his cock.. he'd probably be trembling and whining while you drag out any interaction with someone else. Bonus public humiliation when he inevitably cums at the worst possible time.
Sorry this took half of forever 💀
Characters: Il Dottore/Zandik, NB! Reader, can be read as either/or
Kinks: Public Play, Public Humiliation
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You’re such a perverted sadist, Dottore thinks dazedly. There’s a prostate massager inside of him at max strength and he’s expected to meet with Scaramouche in a little bit. Usually, he’d leave a segment to deal with the puppet, but this time, he actually needed to meet the other harbinger in person. He was still tempted to though, if just to avoid this humiliation.
“H- how much longer?” He questions you, “It’s too much,” he adds on.
“Just for the rest of the day,” you reply with no small amount of amusement, “You promised me you’d do anything after all.” Inwardly, he curses his past self for promising something so open-ended.
“Oh, there you are!” It’s Tartaglia and Dottore bites back a curse. If only it was one of the segments, then he could tell them to go away. With Tartaglia, you were fond of the kid enough that Dottore couldn’t curse him without upsetting you. You’re both standing there, chatting. One of your hands wrap around Dottore and to no small amount of dread, he realizes that your hand has lowered to his ass and has begun to push the massager deeper inside, forcing it at an angle that pressed up against his prostate even deeper than before.
“ – misses you too!” He hears the other harbinger yap, before blissed silence. “Are you okay, Dottore?” The orange-haired fools stares at the other man cluelessly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. You smile innocently at him and inwardly, Dottore curses you.
“Oh, he’s fine!” You chirp out, “Just a feeling a bit down. You know how it is around this time of the year,” you say, waving away Tartaglia’s concerns with a cheery disposition. The fool accepts it without much questioning. Dottore wished you’d hurry up the conversation before he became the fool himself for cumming in public.
You talk a little more before you finally grant mercy for the poor man by lowering the vibrations and waving Tartaglia goodbye.
“Good job keeping quiet,” you praise him, amusement coloring your voice. He glares at you instead of responding, too busy trying to bite down on his moans. The building pleasure was starting to make it difficult to walk, so you wrap your arm around his thin waist and support him all the way back to the lab, uncaring that other members of the fatui’s staring. He sincerely hoped none of them figured out could see the redness of his face or hear the small whimpers and whines he let out with each agonizing step.
“Just one more meeting for today,” you laugh at his agony, “One more with Scaramouche and then we can go back to our rooms for some more fun.”
He looks away, embarrassed. Some days, he wonders why he lets you get away with all your perverse games, but then he’s reminded of how good you are at making him turn into a puddle of pleasure.
The meeting with Scaramouche, as expected, is torturously long. The puppet demanded to know every little thing about Dottore’s plans for the damn thing, and any other day, he’d be happy to go on about it.
Today, though, he’s biting back squeals and shrieks as you begin to raise the vibrations again. You’re just right outside his lab right now, sorting through paperwork. Scaramouche glares at him, confused at how weird the doctor was acting today.
“What the hell is wrong with you today?” he questions, venom dripping with each word.
“None of your business,” Dottore sneers back, clenching his fists to try and stop himself rocking back and forth. The urge to cum was strong and growing, and inwardly, he cursed you again and himself for agreeing to this.
You must’ve decided on something, because the vibrator quiets down to a low vibration for some time now as Dottore finishes up his talk with Scaramouche. It’s not until the other harbinger is at the door when the massager suddenly jolts back to life, stronger than ever.
“A-ahh!” Dottore yelps in surprise, and before he could stop himself, cum spilling out inside of his pants and making a wet patch. His back arches back, the pleasure too strong and too sudden, leaving his front exposed and proof of the deed out in the open for anyone to see.
Scaramouche whirls around at the strange noise before his face morphed into a disgusted sneer. “Fucking pervert,” the puppet growls out, “You’re so gross.” With that, he takes his leave, leaving Dottore red from embarrassment alone in his lab. He really was going to kill you for this, this time.
He’s still breathing hard and burning with both humiliation and need as you approach him. You smile at the view in front of you. Dottore’s legs were spread open and the wet patch of cum had become more obvious as it spread. His face was bright red, and his hands were clenching onto the arms of his chair as the vibrations relentlessly attacked his prostate, leaving him a whimpering, twitching mess. “Shall we proceed to the bedroom?” you whisper into his ear, breath hot, and everything fades to static as the need to be filled and fucked by you takes over.
He changes his mind, after you fuck him into the mattress. The mind-blowing sex is enough to convince him to keep you around for now.
210 notes · View notes
vanesycho · 3 months ago
Note
You write so, so, so well. New reader here. I esp think you write imagery so well - like it transports the reader THERE. 🫡
Is it alright to request for fluff/angst with Jeno? Like girl pines for him and he likes somebody else at first. But when she starts moving on (or maybe fake dating/just being chummy with someone else), he catches feelings or something? I dunno - I just want a jealous Jeno in my life. 🫠😅
Thank you so much for your nice comment and request🤍🤍 I had so much fun while writing this, I hope you enjoy reading it too🥹
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friends to lovers with Jeno [Fluff / Angst]
playlist:laufey-let you break my heart again/ laufey-magnolia/ sarah kang-hopeless romantic/ kwon jin ah-the universe
wc:2,8k
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You didn't listen to your friends' conversation, you had arranged to meet at a cafe but your mind was only on Jeno, he still hadn't come and you were quietly waiting to see his face. You let out a breath of exasperation and took a sip of your drink, turning back when you heard the door of the cafe open, Jeno walked in with that smile of his that you were a fan of. He greeted everyone at the table and you watched him, stood up and were about to hug him but he walked past you and you stopped in your tracks. You felt your heart ache as Jeno walked towards Minji in the corner and hugged her tightly. You tried to hold back the tears as your eyes filled with tears, you sat down in your seat in shame, Jeno grabbed your shoulders and leaned towards you before he sat down his seat "Hello to you too."
He walked over to Minji and started chatting with her directly, you spent the rest of the time in silence, taking a deep breath every time you heard the two of them laughing, Jaemin noticed this and leaned towards you "Are you okay, princess? You've been awfully quiet today." You turned to him and smiled slightly, Jaemin was always the only one who could notice you in a crowd, he would do anything to make sure you didn’t feel left out and upset. You nodded, "I'm fine, thank you." He raised an eyebrow, then studied your face, you laughed at the facial movements he made as he narrowed his eyes. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure, I promise, I'm fine." You listed the words that you knew very well were lies one by one. Even though Jaemin wasn’t satisfied with your answer but he didn’t push it, still asking again every now and then throughout the rest of the day to make sure you were okay.
As the clock ticked down, your friends left the table one by one, leaving only Jaemin, Jeno, Minji and you. You didn't want to watch them, each scene making your heart ache more. The way Jeno smiles at Minji while she's talking, how he fixes her messy hair every now and then, how he never stops complimenting her...
You were close with Jeno but not as close as she was, you couldn’t be, you always held yourself back, you always thought you weren’t enough for him. You didn’t think you were beautiful, even though Jeno said the opposite, every time you said that he would get mad at you and tell you to never say something like that to yourself again. But after a while you realized that he had stopped caring, there seemed to be a momentary coldness between you and Jeno, now you understand why.
"Oh wait a second, keep talking." Jeno reached for Minji's hair, he fixed it, and when you stood up quickly, everyone at the table turned to you. "Sorry, I have to go too." Jeno asked, “Do you want me to give you a ride? It’s too late." You quickly shook your head in the negative. "No no, don't bother." You took your bag and left the cafe without waiting any longer. You heard the sounds of running behind you. Jaemin stopped in front of you and you saw that he was out of breath. “Jaemin? Why did you come?”
Jaemin put his hands on his knees and tried to catch his breath, he stood up and pointed his index finger at you "I couldn't stand seeing that disgusting couple, and come on, explain what happened." You rolled your eyes. “Nothing’s wrong Jaemin, I’m just sleepy and want to go home.” He crossed his arms, leaning towards you. “So you don’t love Jeno and not get jealous of him because Jeno likes her.” You opened your eyes in surprise. “What- are you-”
You jumped back when he gave you a light flick on the head. “Ouch!” He came closer and rubbed you forehead "I'm sorry Y/n, but I thought you needed to get your head together, of course I know, you stupid? You couldn't have made it so obvious, but I don't know who's more stupid, you or Jeno who can't see this because he's blind as fuck." He put his hand on his chin and thought for a while "I can't decide, you are both stupid." You let out a breath of exasperation. “Well, Jaemin? This really isn’t the time to be joking around. Say whatever you want to say." He clapped his hands excitedly and grabbed your arms. "Let's make him jealous." You tilted your head slightly to the side and mumbled to yourself, "I think you're the real stupid here."
"No no listen, it will definitely work, let's set up a meeting for tomorrow and leave the rest to me." You took your arms off of him "The part where I leave the rest to you scares me even more." rolled his eyes "Ha. ha." He watched you as you started walking towards your house, following you with small steps. “You know I can’t stand seeing you sad, you love Jeno so much, even the way you look at him shows, I understand if you don’t want to do this but please…Don't let him get you down and when you feel the slightest bit sad call me and I will kick his ass."
When you arrived in front of your house you turned to him, he chuckled as you wrapped your arms around his waist, put his head on top of yours, wrapping his arms around you. "Thank you, Jaemin." Your hug lasted a little longer, he wouldn't pull away unless you pulled away, he would make sure you got as much as you needed, he was like a long lost brother to you. "Y/n?"
You stepped back as the person called your name, you looked to the side and saw Jeno, he walked towards the two of you "Jeno? I thought you were at the cafe." Jaemin took a few steps back and watched you. "Minji had to leave early too. I was worried when you left like that, you looked so dull all day." You hummed. "I see." The awkward silence between you continued until Jeno noticed Jaemin behind you. “Did you come here together?” When you opened your mouth to answer, Jaemin quickly came to you and wrapped his arm around you. "Yeah I couldn't leave her alone you know, someone had to do it and since you talked to Minji I did it."
You looked at Jaemin’s arm wrapped around your shoulder and then at his face. Jeno couldn’t answer, he gathered the words in his head. "Then...I'd better go? Good to see you're okay Y/n, good night." You watched as Jeno turned away, watch him go making your heart ache again as Jaemin turned to you with excitement. “Yes yes!! Did you see what happened?” You turned to him with a pout. “Yeah, you practically made him leave, we could have talked more..." Jaemin rubbed his eyes with one hand and pinched the bridge of his nose in anger. “Y/n, I love you but sometimes you deserve to have your ass kicked.”
You were about to raise your hand and hit him but he stopped you. “Okay, okay, listen to me. It's not taken him so long to get here, that means he didn't even drop Minji off at her house and came after you just because he was curious. If you believe it."
"And?" he took a deep breath. "And did you see the look in his eyes when he realized I was being so close to you? He was definitely jealous and angry." You laughed hysterically "Okay now you're talking nonsense." Still, you couldn't help but think, he really had come to your house. Could it be possible? It wasn't even the last thing you thought that Jeno had feelings for you, but Jaemin, who you thought was talking nonsense, was talking sense. "Even so, why would he like Minji?" Of course, Jaemin did not leave this unanswered "Because Jeno is an idiot who doesn't know what he feels for anyone, his heart is with you but he's too blind to realize it, so that's where I come in." He spread his arms out to the side and showed himself ostentatiously. “Don’t worry, it won’t even take long for him to notice, just give it a day.” He ruffled your hair. "Good night." Jaemin went in the opposite direction, you went into your house and gave yourself some time to think.
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"I can't believe we're going to do this." You said as you waited in front of Jeno’s door “You know, you think too much, relax and leave the rest to your Jaemin oppa." Jeno opened the door and smiled when he saw the two of you, you stepped into his house without waiting when he invited you in.
The first few minutes went by normally but then the conversation was interrupted by a phone ringing, you saw Minji's name on Jeno's phone, Jeno answered the phone "Yes? You here? I'm coming." Jeno stood up "I'll be right back Minji is here I'll help her find the house." Jaemin crossed his arms where he sat. “You invited her? I thought it was going to be the three of us?” You thanked Jaemin in your mind for asking him the question that was on your mind. Jeno couldn’t think of anything to say. Jaemin raised an eyebrow questioningly. “I just didn’t want her to be alone. Would it be bad if she hung out with us?” He left the room without giving Jaemin a chance to respond, leaving the two of you alone. Jaemin laughed hysterically. “Hah! Look at Jeno, he thinks he's smart." When he noticed that you weren’t making any noise, he turned to you, you were just staring at the floor. “Jaemin, can we please go? I told you it was a bad idea."
Jaemin quickly approached you "No, are you crazy? No backing down, if that's how he wants to play then that's how we'll play too." Jeno and Minji walked in shortly after, Minji gave a quick hello to the two of you and of course sat down next to Jeno.
You talked about a few things and passed the time. "Hey, let's play truth or dare." You frowned at the idea Jaemin had come up with. “Are we teenagers Jaemin? We talked so well, where did the game come from?”
"I think it could be fun, right Jeno?" You gave up and agreed to play as Jeno immediately nodded in agreement. You all sat down on the floor and placed a bottle in the middle, Jeno spun the bottle and you let out a deep breath as you and Jeno stood first, you really didn't want to do this. "Truth or dare?" "Truth." You replied quickly, just wanted it to be over. "Is there something going on between you two?"
"Huh?" The question caught you off guard, it was a question that would stay in your hands no matter what you said, if you said yes, if you even had a chance with Jeno, you would end it yourself. But if you said no, it wouldn't have gone according to plan. You felt the eyes of three people on you, Jaemin saw that you were struggling and he cussed Jeno out. "Even if there is, would it be any of your business?" Jeno continued to stare at you, you refused to look at him, as he spun the bottle again, "No. No it wouldn't."
A few rounds of normal questions were asked, then the bottle stopped at Jaemin and Jeno. "Truth." Jeno replied. Jaemin fell silent, his eyes fixed on Jeno. Jeno waited calmly for his question. “So is there anything going on between 'you two' ?” Jeno laughed hysterically, "Come on Jaemin, come up with more creative questions."
"You didn't answer my question." "Y/n didn't answer either." You exhaled in exasperation, your heart tightened, even coming here and meeting was a mistake, you didn't want to deal with these two fighting. "Guys please, let's just finish the game." "We can finish after you answer my question." Jeno turned his eyes back to you. You looked at him. “None of your business.” He grinned. “So that’s a yes? Since you insist on not answering.” He starting to get on your nerves, what was with this attitude? Was Jeno thinking about you now?
Your voice rose up unintentionally. “Why do you care about having someone in my life when you have someone in yours? All you’ve been doing lately is ignoring me.” He tilted his head to the side, the tension in the atmosphere making Minji and Jaemin nervous as well, the two of them watching you both with silence, as they glanced at each other, not sure if they should intervene. “Ignoring you is the last thing I want to do, Y/n. You’re the one who’s been acting cold towards me. I thought you didn't want me because every time I tried to get close to you you pushed me back."
"I didn't push you away, you just walked out of my life."
"No, I didn't-"
"Enough!!" Minji’s shout interrupted the two of you, even Jaemin didn’t expect her to shout and looked at her in surprise. She turned her head to Jeno "I can't keep this up anymore Jeno, just tell her you love her, god." You frowned. “What do you mean?” "Minji-" Jeno spoke angrily, Minji ignored him and turned to you "This idiot tried to make you jealous because he couldn't stand you ignoring him and thought this would work, but I guess he couldn't stand it when the same thing was done to him?" She grabbed her bag and stood up "You better fix this thing between you two, because I don't want to hear Jeno's love poems about you anymore, like I'm gonna throw up."
Jaemin watched Minji with a grin, he also stood up and followed her. “Jaemin?” You called out to him, he turned around "I'm sorry Y/n, you're on your own, I have things to take care of, you know." The two left the house, leaving just the two of you, silence took over the room, you were even afraid to breathe. "Y/n." Hearing your name from him made your heart beat faster but you couldn't look at him, he approached you and put his hands on your shoulders. "Do you really think I'm ignoring you?" He leaned his head towards you and tried to catch your gaze, you swallowed, your voice coming out quieter than you expected. "I... I don't know, you just weren't the same, and when Minji came along all of a sudden, I thought you were distancing yourself from me because you liked her."
Tears welled up in your eyes. You couldn't cry in front of him, not right now. He brushed back the hair that was covering your face, holding your cheek and making you look at him, smiling slightly when he saw your beautiful face. "I'm so sorry, I made you feel bad, I'm such an idiot Y/n. But I don't understand...If you...Love me too? Why did you push me back?" Jeno felt his heart clench when he saw a tear run down your cheek, he wiped the flowing tears with his thumb. You tried to gather your sentences, and as you felt his warm touch on your cheek, you realized how much you actually missed him.
"I..I was scared, I thought I wasn't enough, I was scared that you would only see me as your friend, I thought you deserved someone more beautiful and better than me." You listed the thoughts in your mind one by one. He looked at you in surprise and opened his mouth, “You...How can you think of yourself like that?" He pulled you to him and wrapped his arms around you tightly, he put his hand in your hair and started caressing, you couldn't hold yourself back anymore and more tears flowed.
"I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, it makes me sad that you don't even know how beautiful, sweet and naive you are. If it were possible to give you all the love in the world, I would do it without a second thought, because you deserve every single word of love, Y/n, every single compliment. I don't know if you will accept my love but...If you do I promise I will make you feel all my love." You pulled back, he didn't take his arms off of you, he watched you lift your head to look at him while still hugging you. He chuckled at how cute you looked as you looked at him with tears in your eyes, he kissed the tip of your nose. "Do you want to start over, this time as my girlfriend?" You smiled and answered without hesitation, "I would love to."
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mrsbuckybarnes1917 · 1 year ago
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Request: Bucky had a bad day at work and his girlfriend (the reader) tries to comfort him and he yells at her without realizing it and makes her cry and she gives him the silent treatment and he buys her flowers to show her how sorry he is and tells her how much he loves her
Word count: 2.7k
Warnings: harsh words, angsty feelings, mentions of death
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It wasn't easy being the person sitting at home waiting. The days were long and the nights even longer. Tonight was no different. He didn't get home until 1am but it was your day off and you'd had a lie in, so you were happy to sit on the sofa and wait up. Even though Bucky had specifically told you not to wait for him when he had texted that they had gotten back safely to base camp.
You looked at your watch for the umpteenth time. Debriefs normally never took this long and you hoped that there wasn't a problem. A myriad of possibilities ran through your mind about the reasons for his delay. What if he was hungry? What if he was thirsty? He would definitely be tired. You didn't want to think about the possibility of injury.
Instead of letting the cacophony of thoughts overwhelm you, you decided to get up and put together a few food and drink options in case Bucky did want something before bed.
You'd just laid out his favorite muffin on a plate when you heard the key in the front door and your disheveled boyfriend trudged into the apartment. He froze suddenly at the sight of you in his kitchen.
“What’re you doing here?” His voice was strained, almost like he wasn't expecting to see you.
“I know you said not to wait for you, but I thought you might be hungry… or thirsty,” you shrugged. “I made-”
Your voice tapered off as you saw the scowl on his face. His jaw moved from side to side before he chose to walk away silently. Bucky stalked into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him.
You were left standing in a state of bewilderment, drowning in a state of inner turmoil. Had you said or done something to upset him? In an attempt to calm your mind, you tried to tidy up the table a little, only succeeding in moving a few things around before the bathroom door opened behind you. 
“Why are you still here? You weren't supposed to be here.” He sounded angry and oh so tired.
“Do you want me to go?” you asked meekly, shrinking under his glare.
“It's too late.”
“It's fine.” You knew you weren't wanted, so you grabbed your bag and made your way to the door.
You'd only managed to open the door a fraction of an inch when you felt Bucky brush against your back. He reached over you and slammed the door closed. Surprisingly, his actions didn't frighten you, despite the force he had just used. You were, however, concerned by his unexplained outburst. Bucky had never raised his voice at you, he was always so sweet and gentle. There was almost a reluctance when it came to sex, like he was afraid that his strength would hurt you. 
“What are you going to do? Walk? At this time of night?” His voice was laced with poison and it cut you like a knife.
Shit you hadn't brought your car. You definitely didn't want to walk outside alone at 2.30am.
“Well, you've made it pretty clear you don't want me here.”
“I-” 
You weren’t sure if it was the look on your face, or your scathing tone but he seemed to be at a loss for words. You slipped past your boyfriend and stalked over to his couch.
“What’re you doing?” he grumbled, watching you fluffing the cushions to use as a makeshift pillow.
“I'll just stay here, you go to bed.”
“Just come and sleep in the bed,” he said through gritted teeth.
“I'm fine here.”
“I'm not going unless you come too.”
You bit your lower lip, there was nothing you wanted more at this point than to rage back at him, to point out how awful his behavior was, to let him know how awful he had made you feel, but there was something in his expression that stopped you. Your outrage was replaced by an overwhelming sadness. 
“Fine,” you huff before getting up and sliding past Bucky into the bedroom.
Climbing onto your usual side of the bed, you curled up at the very edge, facing away from Bucky. Even though your rational mind told you that there must be a reason for his demeanor, your amygdala couldn't help but exert its influence and soon silent tears were coating your cheeks as well as soaking the pillow.
What you didn't notice was Bucky's small sighs as you tried to stifle the sound of your sniffles. He rolled over on his back and tried to focus on something other than the pain he had caused you. For some reason this made him angrier than he was before, but not at you. He had never been angry at you, just surprised. Your presence had been unexpected. He had wanted to drown his sorrows in a scalding hot shower and not have to speak to anyone. It would have been nice to lie in bed, wrapped in your loving arms…
Bucky groaned quietly. He had taken out every one of his frustrations out on you, the one person he loved most in the world. You had always accepted every part of him, and in his heart of hearts, he knew you would accept the secret he had come home with. Bucky had no one to blame but himself for this mistake.
He turned his face to you, calling your name softly, but you couldn’t quite bring yourself to respond. Instead you chose to close your eyes and shut out the world and the pain. Eventually your breathing evened out, became steadier and deeper than it had been before and Bucky realized that you’d finally dozed off. His mind wouldn’t give him the same relief though, his thoughts spiraled, convincing him of every catastrophic outcome. There were very few things that James Buchanan Barnes was certain of, and you were one of them.
Sunrise came all too soon for you and not soon enough for Bucky. Maybe it was the angle at which you’d fallen asleep but you woke shortly after the morning larks started their song. The night’s events came back to you like a knife through the heart and you knew you had to leave. The thought of having another encounter like the one you’d had with Bucky the night before was agonizing and you had no desire to face him again, not yet. As softly as you could, you peeled back the duvet and pushed yourself off the mattress before stumbling into the bathroom. You hadn’t undressed the night before which meant that you had the option for an easy escape. Before leaving, you glanced at the mirror, grimacing at the dark circles under your still red eyes.
You had made it as far as the door before he had caught up with you again.
“Please.” His tone was pleading, he might as well have been on his hands and knees begging you to stay.
“I have to go, Bucky.”
You pulled your hand from his and made your escape. He didn’t follow you but he tried calling you repeatedly. He only stopped when you cut the last attempt short by sending him to voicemail without answering. As soon as you got home, you shook the snow off your shoulders, slipped out of your clothes and crawled under your covers and fell asleep with tears in your eyes.
As you slept, Bucky stewed in the juices of his guilt, steeping himself in a melancholy of his own making. He needed to act, he needed to apologize, he had to make things right. Grabbing his wallet, Bucky put on his coat and drove to the nearest florist to purchase a bouquet of your favorite flowers.
He cradled the beautiful blooming buds as he approached your building. Bucky had spotted your car down the street, covered in snow, there was no mistaking the outline of Stitch with the words “Back off bumper rhumper. My brakes are good. How’s your insurance?”
It was lucky you didn’t have to go to work because you slept for the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon. Oblivious to the ringing doorbell and phone, you slept peacefully.
Instead of leaving, Bucky sat down on the steps outside your apartment, clutching the floral arrangement like a lifeline. He was a patient man, he wasn't afraid of the cold, they had named him Winter after all.
Finally you woke to a deep rumbling in your stomach. You hadn't eaten in almost twenty hours and your body demanded to be fed. After a long stretch and a quick raid of your closet for warm clothes, you opened your fridge to find a cold LED light glaring back at you. It was empty. You needed groceries. Instead of stocking your own fridge, you'd spent all your time filling Bucky's. 
As tempting as the take out menus were, you needed some basics for the next few days before you had to go back to work. Without bothering to change, you pulled on a pair of thick socks, a hoodie and your duffle coat and headed out with the intention of visiting the local grocery store.
You were just about to let go of the main door to your apartment building, when you caught sight of a pair of familiar boots. Following your line of vision, you looked up from the boots to their owner and you are surprised to find Bucky asleep on your doorstep covered in snow with a now frozen bunch of flowers which appear to have crystallized to his jacket.
In a moment of panic, you dropped to your knees in the snow, shaking the sleeping supersoldier and calling his name.
“Bucky!” 
He opened his eyes, unfocused in their disorientation. Your hands cupped his freezing cheeks to get his attention. Were his lips blue?
“Bucky, look at me.”
He tried to whisper your name, but his voice was barely audible and all that came out of mouth was a tiny puff of steam.
“Are you alright? Can you get up?”
You hissed at the frigid feeling on your palms as your hands moved behind his arms in an attempt to pull him closer to you.
“Yeah, one sec.” Bucky pushed himself off the floor, the stiffness of his body making his movements slow and pained. It was almost like watching the reanimation of a corpse after rigor mortis had set in.
Before he had the chance to say and more, you'd grabbed his wrist and dragged him up to your apartment. It was your turn to be angry. At him, at yourself for not having seen his attempts to get in touch. If you were honest with yourself, you'd have ignored his calls and it infuriated you that your behavior had caused him to act this way. But mostly you were mad at him.
And because of this, you refused to say another word as you wrenched open your front door and guided your popsicle boyfriend onto the couch. Ignoring his stuttered apologies, you grabbed a couple of blankets, removed his outer layer of clothing and wrapped him tightly into a cocoon of blended polyester, cotton and wool.
Bucky's gaze was hawklike as you silently fussed over him, ensuring his warmth with blankets. You turned up the heat on the thermostat to furnace conditions and put the kettle on. You popped a teabag of chamomile and honey tea into each of two mugs and stood next to the kettle, as though watching it would make it boil faster. It was only because you didn't want Bucky to see the tremble of your lip as you fought against the urge to break down over the stress of the last twenty four hours.
You pulled your arms around your torso, shivering slightly. It really was cold outside and you were hoping that Bucky wouldn't suffer from having fallen asleep outside. Without warning, you felt a warmth envelope you. Bucky had crept up behind you and in his socks, you hadn’t noticed his approach on the hardwood floor. He put his arms around you and draped himself around you along with the blanket, making you sigh and melt into him.
Bucky took it as a good sign that you didn’t pull away or punch him in the face. He buried his face in your hair, breathing in your scent, trying to memorize every detail of your essence. You considered staying there, wrapped silently in his arms but the whistle of the kettle brought you back to your senses. Wordlessly, you unwrapped yourself from his embrace and poured water into the empty mugs.  You picked up the two mugs and motioned him over to the sofa.
The two of you sat together quietly sipping the tea. You glanced over at your boyfriend, your heart softening as you saw how sad and small he looked. Normally Bucky had a presence, he had broad shoulders and was tall, his vibranium arm occasionally glinting with a hint of menace. But as he sat wrapped up and clutching the mug of tea close to his face as he inhaled the steam with his red tinged nose, you wanted nothing more than to curl under the blanket with him and kiss his face.
You watched as he closed his eyes and a small crinkle appeared at the bridge of his nose. You frowned slightly, confused by the way his nostrils twitched for a second before his head pitched forward with a surprising sneeze. His hands shook and hot tea sloshed over his hands. You grabbed the mug from his hands and deposited it on the coffee table before turning back to your boyfriend with a look of worry.
“Bless you?” you whispered, your voice laced with concern. “Are you okay?”
You brushed his face with the back of your hand. Did he have a fever? There was a heat that was emanating from him. The supersoldier serum should protect him from illnesses. Shouldn’t it?
“Yeah, the steam went up my nose. It tickled.”
“Sure?”
Bucky nodded. Your care for him gave him the courage to take your hand.
“Look, I’m sorry for how I acted yesterday. It was totally unacceptable.”
“Buck-”
“I know you’re upset… and I understand if you aren’t ready for forgive me-”
“Buck-”
“And that’s okay, if you don’t want to talk to me-”
“Bucky!”
“Yeah?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why were you so angry? Did things go badly with your mission?”
Bucky looked down at his hands, suddenly afraid of what you would say about his explanation. It was obvious by the way he traced the golden veins of his vibranium arm. You took his hand in an attempt to reassure him of your support.
“I only had one thing to do and I couldn't even get that right.”
Bucky couldn't quite look you in the eyes as he spoke.
“How many people have to die because of me?” he asked dismally. “Steve wouldn't have let her die.”
“Bucky, you didn't let anyone die. She was murdered. That's not on you.” You had no idea what you were talking about, but you knew he would never intentionally hurt anyone. 
“You should have seen how everyone looked at me. I… didn't want you to look at me like that.”
“Oh Bucky.” You moved closer to him and put your hand on his back, rubbing comforting circles on it. “I don't think that you screwed up. You're not a failure. You did your best. Sometimes bad things happen and they are completely out of our control.”
“I'm so sorry for the way I spoke to you.”
“Yeah, I'm not going to lie, that wasn't fun for me.” You sighed. “Look, can we agree that neither of us acted in an ideal way.”
“I can't see what you did wrong.”
“I don't want to do this again, Bucky.”
“Neither do I.”
“I promise, in future, I'll respect your request to be left alone.”
“And I'll do my best to tell you how I feel.”
Both you and Bucky sat gazing into each other's faces until your stomach rumbled loudly and interrupted the tender moment.
“Hungry?” Bucky smirked at you.
“What gave it away?” You rolled your eyes. 
“Shall we order something?”
“Yeah, let me grab my tablet.”
You got up to fetch your device but you were stopped by a strong pair of hands around your waist. Bucky pulled you back into his lap and wrapped his arms around you tightly. 
“I love you,” he whispered in your ear. 
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strwbrryeyes · 10 months ago
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𖦹°。⋆ haikyuu boys as my breakup playlist
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⟡ featuring: suna, oikawa, tsukishima, atsumu
⟡ cw: angst, idk still bad at these
⟡ an: i found my old breakup playlist from three years ago and took inspiration from that so these songs are old lol. writing this was silly because im in a loving relationship but it was like i felt all the pain of a breakup again </3
⟡ part two, part three
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⟡ suna rintarou: you broke me first - tate mcrae
suna would be the one to break things off with you. when you first started dating he genuinely thought he loved you but as time went on and he became more distant, you started to feel like he was losing feelings for you so you asked him about it. in his words, "i think you were just the first girl to give me attention after my last relationship" and "im not ready for a relationship". a week later, he starts talking about all the girls that have come to him after the breakup and started talking about his hookups to you. this bothered you and hurt you deeply so you decided to cut things off with him completely and he was not a fan of this. so he tried everything to try to get you to talk to him again saying that he misses you and that he wants to get back together. you couldn't care less though, he's already broken your heart too many times for you not to notice his pattern of wanting your attention just to make you jealous or upset. in the end, it actually did end up hurting him and made him realize what he lost. he knew he fucked up but there's no going back anymore.
⟡ oikawa tooru: over breakfast - ellise
it's been a few months since oikawa left for argentina. it's been hard for the both of to be apart for so long and in completely different timezones. you could feel the connection fading but neither of you wanted to admit it because you both loved each other so much. but the longer you guys try to keep the relationship afloat, the more frequent you end up arguing over text or facetime. but you both decided that it could be something to figure out when oikawa visits for the holidays. well, the holidays come around and you finally have time to see each other and talk in person. from the moment oikawa entered your apartment, you both knew it was over. you could tell so many things have changed over the course of the last few months but instead of facing it, you just decide to spend one more night together just to have one final time to say that you tried. it was bittersweet and it hurt a lot but you didn't want the night to end. maybe you could fix this over night? in the morning everything will be better and you can set aside your differences! unfortunately, that morning, nothing had changed and you and oikawa finally came to terms with the fact that maybe you two just maybe weren't meant to be.
⟡ tsukishima kei: high definition - waterparks
when tsukishima was still part of the sendai frogs, he traveled a lot. it's not like he was off in another country like some of his old teammates and rivals, no, you lived with him. even though you two had been dating for quite some time by this point, tsukishima still had trouble expressing his love for you. he tended to push you away whenever he was stressed even though the one thing he wanted the most was your comfort and loving. he was just worried he would end up snapping at you and making you hate him. he didn't know that you'd end up upset with him regardless. you loved him so much but you don't know how long you could going on like this. i mean come on! tsukishima was always away for volleyball matches and even when he's home...it's like he's still not even there. tsukishima knew that you were starting to slip away from him so one day he sat you down and explained how he was feeling and it was finally then that you understood why he acted the way he did. you tried protesting his decision to break up with you but he kept insisting it was for the better. by the next week tsukishima had moved out leaving you alone in the once shared apartment, wishing and hoping he'd come back one day.
⟡ miya atsumu: better off - ariana grande
everyone knew that atsumu could be hot headed most of the time when it came to volleyball but what they didn't know is that it would sometimes affect your relationship with him. much like tsukishima, he would close himself off from you whenever he was mad at the world or whatever else there is that could make him upset. it was starting to get tiring for you. you felt like you had to walk on egg shells around him just so he wouldn't snap at you (wether he meant to or not- his mind would always fog up). towards the end of your relationship, you could feel yourself start to get numb in regards to your feelings towards atsumu. atsumu couldn't really tell at this point that you were losing hope for the relationship. if anything he thought everything was normal but that was only because half of the time he was too much into his own thoughts to notice any flaws between the two of you. it wasn't until he came home one day after an away game on the other side of japan and found that all of your stuff was gone along with you, that he realized nothing is what it used to be. he found a note from you that explained that you weren't happy in the relationship anymore and that you felt trapped. you also stated that you hope he figures out his issues and that you'll always be there for him if he needs but that right now you just needed space. atsumu spent that night crying and angry at himself for letting your relationship get to this point.
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genshin-obsessed · 11 months ago
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Abandon | Tighnari x Reader
𓆩⟡𓆪 Beware! This is angst with no comfort! Otherwise, please enjoy~
𓆩⟡𓆪 I made this a bit shorter than it was intended but I didn’t want to make it too long and I felt like the ending was better this way.
𓆩⟡𓆪 Word count: 1367
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"Ah... sorry. I'm just not in a place where I'm looking for a relationship. Thank you for your feelings; thank you for loving me. But, I can't return that love... not yet anyway."
Those were the words Tighnari had for you when you first confessed to him almost two years ago. Of course it broke your heart, but it was probably the nicest let down you could think of. You were upset, of course, but who were you to question his feelings? Tighnari was always busy with work and his studies to be in a relationship.
Relationships never seemed like they were for him, but his words had given you some inkling of hope that fueled your own feelings. The longer you spent around Tighnari, the more you felt your love for him grow. It truly felt endless. You never felt as if Tighnari took you for granted, he was just as any good friend would be. He supported you, was kind to you, encouraged you, and never judged you. Yet, there was always a feeling of emptiness that invaded your chest when you were around him.
Discontent.
No matter what, you were never satisfied with Tighnari's kindness towards you. It was never something you ever mentioned or acted upon, but you always felt like it wasn't enough. Unsurprisingly, you wanted more. You were in love with him and the gentle shoulder pats always left you wanting more.
That's when you realized your feelings had gotten out of hand. At first, being around Tighnari was enough. Just being able to see him, hear his voice, and helping to contribute to his work was enough. You weren't sure when it stopped, but now you needed to do something about it.
So, over the course of a month, you slowly began to get busier with your work. Twice a week, you would spend time with Tighnari, Cyno, Kaveh, and Alhaitham, usually playing Genius Invocation TCG. But you stopped attending due to taking on more work. Unfortunately, this led to some adverse health effects, but that was expected.
Consequently, you were called out by all four of your friends, especially Tighnari, who demanded you take some time off to take care of yourself. You felt guilty, avoiding your close friends the way you did. One thing you knew you couldn’t do was go cold turkey on Tighnari. It was a thought you just couldn’t handle so that’s why you were taking it slowly.
See, this is where things fell apart. It was a weekend and you had a day off. You went out with a friend and as you were heading home, you happened to run into the group and Cyno invited you to play Genius Invocation TCG.
“Sorry, I’ve been here a while and I’m tired.” You lied, giving them a halfhearted wave.
“Oh come on, (y/n).” Kaveh said with a frown as he placed his cards face down. “It’s been a while since you spent time with us. It’ll be fun! Hey! You can pester Tighnari about his new girlfriend.”
“Kaveh!” Tighnari hissed at his words but his friend had already spoken. Your entire body went rigid at Kaveh’s words and for a moment, everything fell silent. Your heart sank, the pit of anxiety grew within you, and the emotions slowly began to bubble.
Tighnari’s eyes slowly shifted to you, seeing that heartbroken look in your eyes. He wasn’t ready to see that. To see just how much the idea would hurt you. The remorse he fell made him realize he wasn’t as innocent as he pretended to be.
There was a very awkward silence that fell upon the group as everyone looked between you and Tighnari. The forest ranger looked guilty and you looked hurt. Even Alhaitham started to feel a little bad when he saw your face. Yet, you forced a smile, blinked back the tears, and looked at Kaveh which made the architect flinch a little.
“Sorry, I don’t have time for gossip. I’ve got an early day tomorrow but have fun on my behalf. And Tighnari, congrats on the new relationship. Didn’t know you had it in you.” There was a way you spoke that added to the guilt Tighnari felt. He knew you didn't mean that as a compliment.
With a wave, you turned and left, making all eyes land on Tighnari. The awkward silence continued for a moment before Alhaitham finally broke it.
“What the hell was that?” As usual, he was straightforward, needing answers to why you reacted the way you did.
“N-nothing. I’m sure they’re fine.” Tighnari lied as he looked at his cards. Yet, even though his eyes scanned the faces of the cards, he wasn’t thinking about the game or any strategy. He was worried about you because he knew the hope he gave you had just come crashing down. Yet, he didn’t move. The uncomfortable atmosphere remained around the four, but Tighnari remained where he was seated. ⎯⎯ ୨ A Little Later ୧ ⎯⎯
Your walk home was dreadful. Some pathetic part of you wished Tighnari would chase after you but he never did. Your entire walk home was filled with sniffling as you tried to bury the sadness down, which ultimately failed. Yet almost every moment was just waiting for him to catch up and apologize or even explain what was going on.
The words just kept repeating over and over in your head. Tighnari was in a relationship? He never told you any such thing. You weren’t even aware he had been looking. A bitter laugh escaped your lips as you approached the hill that led up to your home. You were so desperate, weren’t you? Hell, maybe he was going to tell you but you stopped hanging around him a few weeks ago.
You fooled yourself into acting as if you were completely unaware. You wanted Tighnari to love you back but acted as if it fine that he didn’t. Even after he rejected you, you hoped he would just one day come to you and declare he changed his mind. You dreamt of that day so many times, yet out of all the scenarios you made up, this wasn’t one of them.
You saw the look in his eyes. He knew how you felt and there was some inkling of guilt within his gaze. Yet, knowing that he might have felt some form of realization brought you no solace. You didn’t care if he was understood- not right now anyway. Knowing him, he probably wasn't even sorry.
Who was this girl he was dating? Did she work with him? Work with one of the others? Did you know her?
So many questions filled your mind that would remain unanswered for the foreseeable future. Your hand rubbed your wet cheek as you pushed your door open and closed it behind you. Your other hand mindlessly slid against the door and finding the lock, and turning it.
Your home felt… dreary. There was that silence that made the loneliness settle within you. Dropping your bag at your feet, you just walked inside and laid down on your couch. Your eyes stare at the ceiling and you were acutely aware when your vision began to blur with tears.
Soft sobs escaped your lips no matter how hard you tried to choke them down. You were angry. Angry at yourself for feeling this way, angry at Tighnari for giving you hope the day you confessed, angry at that girl who had him or whatever. No matter what you did, the tears just wouldn't stop. So, you just let go- you let those emotions flow out of you instead of holding them back.
You officially had to move on. Tighnari really didn’t feel the same way and you needed to let go of these stupid feelings. He wasn’t obligated to love you and you weren’t obligated to be friends with him. Especially since it was so painful. But that dull ache returned and you looked around your living space for any form of comfort. Yet, there was none. You were all alone.
There was a lingering thought in your head which kept reminding you every few moments that… Tighnari never came after you.
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voltronisanobsession · 1 year ago
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There is no End | Luke Castellan x Reader
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A little idea I had, needed to right something angsty and toxic 😍💀
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“Let go of me, Luke!”
You stumbled and tried pulling your arm away from the blonde boy who continued yanking you forward. The bruising grip Luke had on your arm did not deter you from trying to escape.
You thought he only wanted to talk. Maybe apologize for everything he had done. As anxious as you were to meet up with the boy, you did nonetheless.
Why? Because he’s your boyfriend. Or was, at least. Never did you imagine the kind boy you once knew to drag you away from the camp grounds kicking and screaming.
“Luke, I’m serious! Let me go!” Your voice trembled with rage and fear.
You were far from camp, you knew that. But you didn’t know that you were so close to home too. You looked at the house in front of you, anxiety shooting up as you recognized it as your own.
How did you guys manage to travel out of state so quickly? And how were you home??
It was all too confusing for you. You were cold, upset, and scared. You wondered if anyone at camp noticed your absence yet.
“LUKE STOP!”
At last, it seemed the boy finally heard you after all your previous attempts. He stopped suddenly, causing you to crash into his side. You yanked your arm away and was surprised when he let go.
You stepped away from him, eyes tracing his blank face carefully. You knew if you ran, he’d easily catch you. Your eyes traveled down to the sword strapped around his waist.
Who knew, maybe he’d use that sword against you too. What was it called again? Backbiter?
Luke’s eyes stared off into the distance. It was like he wasn’t even mentally there in the moment. He had changed so much, you noticed.
He looked older, in a way. His face, no longer soft and sweet, was hardened from the past years of intense fighting. You knew he’d seen and been through so much since he had left camp.
His once bright blue eyes were now dull in shine. He looked towards you, eyes narrowed as he turned his body to you.
“Join the army.” Your jaw almost dropped in shock.
You stepped back agin. He stepped forward.
“You seriously kidnapped me from camp, take me to my home, just to tell me to join your army? Is this a joke?”
Luke’s face twisted in anger. He took one large step and stood no more than a foot a part from you.
“No, it’s not. Join our army, and I promise you won’t get hurt when the war happens.”
Hurt? War? You realized in the moment that this was more dangerous than you anticipated.
“Why should I join your army, Luke? If you forgot, I still remember how you betrayed us. Betrayed me.” You scoffed out, arms crossing in defiance. You weren’t going to let Luke have his way.
“Betrayed you? I’m doing this for us. For everyone who was betrayed by the gods. You should feel betrayed by them.”
Luke was now so close that you could feel the warmth radiating from the skin on his arms. He was angry and you knew it. Luke never got angry before.
“When have the gods and goddesses ever been there for you, huh? Your father? Why do you take their side when the only thing they’ve done is screw you and everyone else over?”
You stared up at him in shock. Was he really trying to use your father against you? You knew what he was trying to do, you knew it.
“Luke-“
“No! Tell me, when was the last time Apollo said happy birthday to you? Actually, tell me when was the last time you’ve even seen him?”
Your face scrunched up in hurt, your body trying to back away from Luke’s, only for him to wrap his hands around your biceps, stopping you from getting away. You gasped from the squeezing pain.
“He doesn’t care about you, y/n. None of the Olympians do. Why are you fighting for immortals that don’t even care if you live or die?”
Your eyes watered up with unshed tears. His presence was becoming too much for you. Was he going to kill you if you didn’t join? Oh gods, you were going to die.
“No one cares about you. You don’t matter to anyone. Not even your own mother-“
“Stop it, Luke! Don’t say that!” Your lips wobbled as you spoke, the tears welling up in your eyes and slowly falling down your cheeks.
“It’s true, though. You want to see how much you matter to her? Don’t worry, I’ll show you.”
Your heart leaped to your throat as the blonde boy began dragging you to the house you once lived in. Panicking, you began your game of tug and war against him again, but you weren’t as strong as he was.
“No, no Luke please! Don’t do this, please!” You sobbed out as Luke continued pulling you closer and closer to the house.
Once close enough, he shot you a look as if to say quiet, making you immediately stop babbling out nonsense.
You were hysterical at this point, your face red from your crying and sobbing. Your body shook as you tried and failed miserably to stop your cries. You continued crying even as Luke pulled you up to a ground level window of the house.
Luke grabbed your jaw to keep you from turning away from the window, forcing you to look into the house.
“Look Y/N. I said look.”
You sobbed as you did what he wanted. It had been exactly 5 years since you’ve last seen your mother. 5 years since she left you at camp and never came back. All the memories came flooding back immediately as you stared at the woman you loved so dearly.
She sat on a chair reading a book, the same way she always did when you were younger. The house looked the same way it did when she took you to camp all those years ago. Except something was different.
You began crying all over again, broken sobs escaping your body as you saw two small children run over to her.
“No, no, no.”
You gasped for air as the woman in front of you put down her book and picked up the young children, placing them on her lap as she smiled gently at them.
Your pulled away from the window, away from the house, and back into the darkness where you first began.
You didn’t even register Luke pulling you close to him, his arms engulfing you in a hug. The boy whispered sweet nothings to you as you slowly calmed down from your hysteria.
You sniffled softly as Luke’s whispers filled the silence of the night.
Your arms slowly wrapped around Luke’s body, head leaning against his chest.
“There is no end, Y/N. I told you, they don’t care about you. They never did.”
You sniffled again as your eyes stung with tears again. He didn’t need to remind you again. The boy then kissed your head, still hugging you as you got a hold of yourself.
“But I care, Y/N. I care so much for you. That’s why I want you to join me. So you don’t have to be alone again. I promise I’ll never leave you like your parents did.”
And you couldn’t help but believe him. The sincerity in his voice was hard to miss. The way he held you was the same way he held you all that time ago, when you were younger.
He promised he wouldn’t leave you. Your hands clenched around his shirt. You took a deep breath and unclenched your hands.
“Ok.”
Luke pulled away and held your face, eyes staring straight into yours. These blue eyes were the same ones you remembered staring into when you were at camp.
“Promise me you won’t leave.”
He gently kisses your forehead, wiping away your stray tears with gentle hands.
“I promise.”
You never returned to camp after that night, leaving many of the campers to worry and wonder what had happened to you. Little did they know that you had signed a deal with the worst monster imaginable, after he promised you he would never leave you alone.
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