#and it took just 8 dats back home

[kuvirametalbender]

It’s so frustrating noticing symptoms of my ED acting up again and not being able to do anything about it and it’s all because i went back home. Anytime i talk to my parents they make my ED go so baad

[farfromstrange]

Do No Harm

CHAPTER EIGHT: First-Date Jitters

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary: It's time for your date with the beautiful stranger from the hospital, and you are beyond nervous. Still, you're already in too deep to pull out now, so, you jump into the cold water and learn how to swim.

Warnings for this chapter: Angst, comfort, some first-date cliché behavior, mentions of domestic violence (in thought), foreshadowing (?), flirting, physical contact, suggestive language (slightly), Matt's charisma uniqueness nerve and talent

Word Count: 5.3k

A/n: This flirty little shit won't leave my mind. Anyway, my plan was for this chapter to be one continuous chapter, but it got so long that I had to cut it into 2 parts (or this beast would have been 10k words). That’s why you’re getting a double update today. I tried not to put too much angst into this. It's still angsty, but there is a lot of comfort for the angst and the hurt to compensate for it, and I think that's beautiful. I don’t know about the writing though.

Read Chapter 8: First Date Jitters here on AO3

Many questions naturally come to mind when one is preparing for a date. How will you get there? Who will pay? What could you possibly talk about that has a high chance of boring neither of you? The question you find yourself grappling with the most though is, what the fuck are you supposed to wear?

After spending years trapped in a cage, your self-confidence took quite a hit. You used to feel somewhat satisfied with the way you looked, but John always had something to criticize. Your weight, your hair, your facial features—nothing was ever good enough for him. After breaking down your walls and making you believe that you were the best thing that ever happened to him, he knew how to manipulate you best. At least he looked at you. You were grasping at straws, holding onto the vision of a man who was never real, and you forgot your worth along the way. 

“Wear that dress you borrowed from me and never gave back,” Claire says on the other end of the line. 

You sigh. You have been staring at your closet for an hour now, and you haven’t come further than picking out what underwear to wear. With shaky fingers, you reach for the dress. You know exactly which one she meant. 

“Are you sure I should wear a dress?” you ask. “I mean, it’s kinda cold outside.”

“That’s why they invented tights and over-knee socks. Oh, and maybe wear those heart-shaped earrings I got you for your birthday. They look good on you.”

You scan the dress with careful eyes. You’ve barely slept after getting home, and now your head is pounding. Earlier, you sent Matt a text, confirming the time and place for the umpteenth time, but as half-past two is inching closer on the clock, the unease is starting to creep deeper into your bones. 

You promised Claire not to cancel, but that doesn’t take away the fear and the sheer agony you feel inside when you think about all the things that could go wrong. Alone the thought of facing Matt’s gorgeous smile in a different setting than the hospital sends a shiver down your spine, and it’s not fully pleasant. 

But no. You swore you wouldn’t give John what he wants, and he surely would be punching the air if he knew that you couldn’t stop thinking about him. He would celebrate if he knew that you just can’t seem to get over what he did to you. Then again, if he knew where you are now, the only thing getting punched would be you. He might even kill you. God knows he’s capable of unspeakable things.

His name is too prominent in your mind: his face, his voice, his scent. You need to drown him out. You need to stop making everything about him. It isn’t healthy. And Claire was right when she told you that it’s a good thing another man—a good man, at that—is making you feel things you long couldn’t because you were too scared to allow yourself to feel even the slightest hint of affection. 

You have to honor your promise to yourself and see where this date might take you. Matt is gentle. He won’t mind if you’re a little nervous. Hell, he won’t even mind if you wear a pair of sweatpants instead of this stupid dress, but you can’t deny that you still want to put yourself together and appear in something other than a pair of medical scrubs.

The dress you borrowed from Claire is a good fit for your skin tone and body type, you can’t deny that. It has turned heads before. You wore it to one of the fundraising campaigns Metro General sometimes hosts—it was summer then, a lot warmer than it is now, and you were toying around with the kids that came with their parents in Central Park. You were in charge of the games that day. One of the firefighters complimented you, but he was respectful about it, and his partner even asked you for a drink, but you declined both of them. They weren’t your type, although they were nice. It’s a fond memory that momentarily eases your anxiety. 

Matt is nice, and he’s your type. You know he’s your type even after years of unlearning what your type even used to be. It’s not a coincidence that the two of you got along so well when you first met, and that he cared so much the other day when you got hurt. 

Fuck. You realize you’re going to need to cover your nose with concealer. Not because Matt would care—he surely wouldn’t—but you don’t want to be looked at weirdly by the barista of your favorite coffee shop. That would be embarrassing.

“Liv?” Claire’s voice breaks through your downward spiral. 

You snap out of it, throwing the dress on the bed. “Yeah, I’m here,” you mumble, working at your pajamas that you still haven’t changed out of. “I’m wearing the dress.” There is a certainty in your voice that surprises you. 

You want to wear this dress. You want to go out with Matt. And you want to turn his head, even if you can’t do it with your looks. Looks are hardly all that matters, anyway. You have to remind yourself that he sees your mind, hears your voice, and has a different view of your soul than others. That’s what matters. That is all that should matter. You just have to make sure that you smell good or he will probably be appalled, considering blindness comes with heightened senses. If only you knew how heightened they truly are. 

Your friend lets out a happy little, “HA!”

You shake your head, putting her on speaker, and changing out of your pajamas into the dress. You only have a handful of tights in your closet, and not a single pair of over-knee socks, but a pair of tights and your favorite boots should do the trick. 

“Trust me,” Claire says, “one look at you in that dress, you’re gonna turn that guy’s head.” She sniffles, and you wonder how much longer she is going to torture herself with that cat. 

“I’m not so sure my looks are going to matter much,” you say. 

“Most people say looks don’t matter to them, but unless you solely fall in love with another person’s mind, looks will always play a part in how we perceive someone.”

“No, I meant that quite literally.” You pull the dress over your head. “I’m only dressing up to feel good about myself ‘cause looks definitely don’t matter to him.”

“How can you be sure?” she retorts. 

You slip into a fresh pair of tights, some socks, and a pair of biking shorts underneath. “Did I not mention Matt’s blind?”

Silence follows your sentence. A pregnant pause. You said it so nonchalantly, you didn’t think anything of it. And why would you? It’s a part of him. It’s not unimportant—definitely not, considering that life works differently for him than it does for you—but it’s also not the only thing about him. 

“Blind?” Claire’s voice is slightly shaky when she asks.

You frown at your phone screen while slipping into your favorite boots. “Yes, blind,” you say. “Although we didn’t get around to discussing his condition. I mean, medically, there is probably nothing I haven’t seen or heard before. I just didn’t think of asking him, “Hey, how’d it happen? Is it complete blindness? Amaurosis? Congenital?” Even I know that it’s not appropriate to ask someone you just met about their medical history. It’s something he has to want to talk about, not the other way around. I don’t expect full disclosure from a stranger like I do from my patients. And we both know dating a patient would be highly unethical.”

“I—” she cuts herself off. 

One look at the time tells you that you’re already running late. If you want to catch your bus, you have to leave in the next five minutes. You slide the last of your heart-shaped earrings into your earlobe.

“Listen, Claire, if that’s all you have to say, I should go. I can’t miss my bus,” you say. 

Her behavior may strike you as odd, but your mind is currently preoccupied with other things. You can’t pay much mind to the tone of her voice or the pronunciation of her words, or there is a chance you might not make it to your coffee date after all because you will be stuck in another downward spiral of overthinking. 

She exhales. “I—okay, yeah. I’m sorry. It’s probably nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she agrees. “Go. Have fun. Just… be careful.”

The way she says it makes the hairs on your arms stand up. “I will.” Your eyebrows still furrowed in a frown. “I’ll call you later.”

The line clicks when you hang up, trying not to let the absurdity of the situation get to you. You have plans, and you have to stick to them. 

With a swift shake of your head, you touch up your hair and makeup, assuring that the discoloration of your bruised nose looks less severe than it is before you grab your coat, your bag, and your phone, and you make your way out. 

You’re not overdressed, but you still feel like you’re standing out of the crowd when you get on the bus. The bus driver pays no attention to you, and neither do the other passengers, but somehow all eyes are still on you. Maybe you should have gone for a pair of jeans instead? A longer dress? A shorter dress? Less cleavage? Maybe something a little less tight? A sweater would have worked nicely too, you’re sure. What if you get off at the next stop, hurry back to change, and arrive a little later than planned? 

Matt probably won’t be on time either. He wanted to meet up half an hour later. That sounds like the kind of guy who needs a little more time, someone who struggles to be on time. Or maybe he’s the complete opposite of the picture you painted of him in your mind, and Claire’s reaction has something to do with it. It makes no sense—it absolutely makes no fucking sense, and you should stop worrying about things that don’t make any fucking sense whatsoever, but you can’t. You are physically incapable of stopping the spiral on your own. 

Time stops when you overthink, and it’s only when more people start leaving the bus that you realize you have long missed the chance to get out, run back home, and change. You’re almost in the city, almost where your favorite coffee shop is located that you suggested to him and he agreed on, and there is no going back from here. 

You don’t know where to put your hands. They’re shaking. Your heart is beating out of your chest. The sweat in your pores is threatening to drip down your temples, it feels like, and you’re starting to worry whether or not he will be able to smell how nervous you are. Your stomach is in knots. You can’t swallow the lump in your throat because it has lodged itself between your esophagus and your larynx. It’s too much—too loud, too hot, too everything. You just want to turn around and run. You want to disappear into the ground, melt into a puddle, and stay there. 

When you look up toward the entrance of the coffee shop, he’s standing there. He’s on time. No, he’s early. The clock on your phone reads 2:28 pm. You wouldn’t have expected him to be so punctual. It scares you.

Your brain starts to secrete even more cortisol—should you run or should you fight? Fight might be the wrong word to use. It is more of a 'should you or should you not face a situation your inner demons don't want to face' dilemma.

The sudden wave of anxiety that washes over you mixes with a strange sizzling of excitement and a certain warmth that starts to build in your core. The feeling is much stranger than what you’re used to, and it makes you vibrate. Or at least it feels like you’re vibrating. Levitating. Dying. Maybe you’re having a heart attack.

Don’t be ridiculous, you think to yourself. You’re a doctor. You’re not having a heart attack. What you’re sure of though is that, if you start breathing even shallower, you will get a panic attack.

He looks good. Too good. His suit fits him perfectly. You wonder how much he spends to get his suits tailored so that he can breathe and move around freely, and still look fucking dashing whenever he sets foot outside. For someone who does mostly pro-bono work, he knows how to dress himself. 

Matt is standing away from the many people crossing the sidewalk. He’s supporting himself on his cane, his red round glasses framing his sharp features perfectly. He has the kind of cheeks you just want to squeeze, yet his jawline is sharp enough to cut yourself on it. He hasn’t shaved in a few days, so his stubble is a lot more prominent. The locks on his head seem so soft, and he keeps the rest of him clean, too—you wouldn’t expect anything less from someone who has heightened senses due to the lack of one of the most crucial ones.

The way his muscles tense under his suit catches your attention. Your breath hitches again, and this time not because you’re nervous and worried out of your mind. His biceps are straining against the sleeves of his coat, and it seems like his chiseled chest is about to pop the buttons of his dress shirt, but it still fits perfectly enough to keep every sliver of skin hidden from the world. 

Taking a deep breath, you close the distance between you. “Matt?” your voice cracks when you call his name.

He tilts his head in your direction. It doesn’t even take him a full second, nor does he pretend that he has trouble making you out of the sea of people. He probably has done this quite a few times. You can’t blame him. He’s an attractive man. 

You wonder what would happen if he was yours. Women would still want him, and you would have to have faith. You wouldn’t consider yourself an overly jealous person, but the thought of having to compete makes your stomach churn. You feel so far out of his league that it doesn’t even cross your mind that you would be his as much as he would be yours, and it is no relationship if you feel like you have to compete with other women.

A part of you believes that he is the kind of man to pay undivided attention to the person he cares about, but who is to say that you are worth his attention? Who’s to say that he wouldn’t run at the first chance to be with someone less damaged, someone who’s beautiful in a different way, and someone who can give him peace instead of whatever mess you can offer him. 

But then he smiles at you, and your worries are momentarily forgotten. 

“Liv, hi,” he says. You shudder at the smooth sound of his voice. His hand reaches out, but he misses your arm. A slight frown finds its way onto his face as if he’s thinking to himself, ‘I’m usually better than this.’

You take a step closer. He finally gets a hold of your forearm. “I hope it’s you I’m touching and not some stranger with similarly soft forearms.”

Soft. He just called you soft. You have never been called that before. The giggle that escapes you makes you wonder where you left your brain this morning. 

The left side has turned itself off entirely, leaving the right side of your brain in charge. This is the worst idea you’ve ever had. You’re already a mess. How are you supposed to survive the afternoon with him and only him? It feels like he’s staring right into your soul, which is impossible, but the glasses don’t give you insight into beautiful brown eyes, and that makes you wonder how he does it. How does he stare you down without actually staring you down?

You clear your throat. “No, it is me,” you answer. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he says again. The grin doesn’t leave his lips. He lets go of your arm, seemingly having oriented himself.

“Hi,” is all you can say. You miss his touch. It wasn’t even—or at least not mostly—because he wanted to touch you. He did it because there are so many people around you and he needed to know where exactly you stand. You can only imagine the anxiety that he’s feeling.

His smile turns into a smirk. “Hi.” He’s not making this easier on you. “How are you?” Matt finally puts you out of your misery.

What is the appropriate thing to answer? Good? Nervous? That you feel like you’re dying from a heart attack? Or that you miss his hand on your soft forearm?

“I’m–” you take a deep breath. “I’m good,” you say. “How’re you?”

He nods. “I’m alright, thank you.”

Your eyes flick down to the hand on his cane. He has his head tilted in your direction, his attention entirely on you. He adjusts his glasses. His smile turns into a softer expression of concern, and it makes your heart jump.

“You seem nervous,” he observes. 

“I guess you could say that,” you admit. You can’t even stop the words before they tumble out of your mouth. “I don’t usually do this. You know, go on dates.”

“Really? Oh. I kind of figured men were lining up to get even a second of your attention, or trying to, at least.”

The blood rushes to your cheeks again. “Oh, I—No, they don’t do that.” Your head is spinning. 

You always appear unapproachable, or so you’ve heard. You don’t know if it’s the way you look at people or the way you behave. Perhaps they get scared that they will burn themselves on your burning defenses. You wouldn’t put it past them. You have pushed what little advances people have made on you in the past two years away because you were scared of burning yourself, and you weren’t interested in trying to mend that. With Matt, that’s different.

If men were lining up to be with you, your first response would surely be to flee, and not because of your personal issues with the opposite sex. You would flee out of natural instinct.

Matt clears his throat. “I’m terrible at getting hints. If I’m making you uncomfortable or you think you made the wrong choice by coming here, I wouldn’t blame you for leaving,” he says.

He’s giving you a choice—an out. That alone makes the blood in your cheeks spread faster, and your palms start sweating. You don’t want to go. 

“No,” you quickly shake your head. “I’m not uncomfortable.”

“Are you sure?”

You reach out, boldly so, and take his hand in yours. “Yes. Am I making you uncomfortable?” you ask. 

Matt swallows thickly. His Adam’s apple bops as he tries to get rid of the lump in his throat. His fingers twitch when you wrap your own around his and place them against your forearm again. If you look close enough, you might even see a soft sheen of sweat on his forehead. 

The silence persists for a few seconds. “No,” he answers then. “You simply have a way of, um...taking my breath away.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Not at all.” He tightens his grip. His lips open, and he stammers for a moment before he finds his words again. “I find it refreshing. It’s not often I meet someone who can knock me off my feet, so…” Breaking off into a chuckle, Matt lowers his head to adjust his glasses once again.

The way he’s fidgeting with his fingers tells you that you’re not the only nervous one out of the two of you. Maybe the fact that you render him speechless affects him more than he lets on. He seems like the kind of guy who likes to be in control because he feels like he has to be or the world might end. You know that feeling all too well.

It would be so much easier if he wasn’t so charming, but if it were easy and he wasn’t so charming, you would still feel utterly alone in this life. New beginnings are supposed to feel better than an unhappy ending. New beginnings are supposed to offer a chance at happiness, and even though you are a little late with trying to find your way back to civilization after keeping yourself locked in a cage of someone else’s making for so long, there is a chance now. A chance that you have to take. 

The easy way out would be to turn around and forget you ever met him, but Matt deserves better, and so do you. The easy way out would hurt too much.

You lick your lips absentmindedly. He sucks in a sharp breath. You’re a lot more sensitive to the behavior of others than a normal person would be. Is he attracted to you? Do you turn him on? Those are questions that make your head spin worse than it has been ever since you laid eyes on him.

“I’m sorry,” you break the awkward silence, your voice breathless. “It seems like the feeling is mutual.”

Your confidence is starting to build, convincing you that you can do this. And maybe you can. You’re not leaving him cold, that much is sure when you take a moment to analyze his body language.

His thumb brushes over your forearm. He seems so much more experienced than you, and he keeps his composure in a way you can’t relate to. You are dying inside, and the blood is pumping in your cheeks while leaving the rest of your body cold. Except for your very core; you can feel the heat starting to spread through your core, shooting between your legs just from the way he touches you. 

You thought this would be an innocent coffee date—you were wrong. Your body is as desperate for a physical connection as your soul yearns for an emotional connection. It’s a strange combination of needs that hits you at once and with full force. And it is all directed at him. This guy you barely know but has turned your head every single time you have met him. 

You’re fucked.

Matt smirks, as though he knows something that you do not. “You have no idea how happy that makes me,” he murmurs. 

“The fact that you knocked me off my feet?” you ask dumbfounded. You’re glad he can’t see your face because that would be utterly embarrassing. 

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “that.”

You want to scream, 'God, you’re hot,' but you would rather not embarrass yourself in front of him like that. His smirk makes it hard to focus, but if you don’t want to spend the rest of the afternoon on the sidewalk, staring at him while he holds onto your forearm, one of you has to start moving.

“Do you want to go inside?” you ask.

“Yeah. Lead the way,” he says. 

You gently slide his hand from your forearm into your own. You wish you could see his eyes right now. Are those beautiful hazel eyes with emerald specks in them sparkling? You saw how expressive they were when you patched him up. They were unfocused and pained, but they also reminded you of an array of stars. It’s probably unintentional, but his eyes give away how he’s feeling at any given time, and that, to you, is one of the most beautiful qualities he could possess because it means that he’s real. He can’t lie because his eyes would give them away. 

His glasses don’t make Matt hard to read, but they sure make you miss the universe you got to stare into a few days ago. It felt like a privilege.

He keeps his cane pressed tightly to his chest, using the tip to check the small radius around him while he holds on tightly to your hand, trusting you to guide him where he needs to go without putting him at risk. 

“Door,” you tell him as you make your way into the café. You hold it open, and he uses his cane to make sure he doesn’t accidentally bump into you or the doorframe. 

Just as you’re about to enter, a couple comes at you. You twirl around, placing a hand on his waist and pulling him a bit closer to you before someone can bump into him. He raises his eyebrows. 

“Oh,” he exclaims when the couple apologizes for not looking, and he tilts his way back in your direction, Your hands are still on his waist, standing closer to you than ever before. His cheeks flush. Got him. “Thank you,” he stammers, but not without letting out a chuckle that resembles a small giggle. 

Your heart melts, and you damn Matt Murdock for not only being a walking wet dream but for being so kindhearted and adorable. And why does he smell so good?

“No problem,” you answer breathlessly.

“It helps that one of us isn’t blind, huh?”

It’s your turn to laugh. “It’s a big responsibility if you’re seeing for two, so I try to take it seriously.”

His giggle turns into a laugh that comes deep from his chest, but it still sounds like a soft symphony you might hear playing on a spring day. “Yeah,” Matt says, “You’re taking it very seriously.”

“I’d call myself your knight in shining armor, but I believe that comparison is outdated and wrong since you don’t need saving.”

“I wouldn't mind being saved by you.”

You open your mouth, but the only thing that comes out is a startled breath. “Okay, now you’re just trying to make me blush.”

“Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

He smirks. “I wouldn’t get anything out of making you blush, but I do enjoy hearing the smile in your voice whenever I compliment you. So, maybe that’s what I’m doing.”

“Oh.”

“Your smile sounds nice. Beautiful. It’s how I, uh, see you. And you’re calm. I—the world is often too loud, you know, and your voice is a welcome distraction from all the, uh, noise. Helps me relax. If you know what I mean.”

If he keeps talking, you are sure that you will pull him closer by his waist and kiss him. You can’t remember the last time you have felt a need quite like this one. And you have never wanted to kiss another human being more than him. Why? Just because he’s nice to you? No. He’s not just nice to you. You probably would have run by now if he were just nice to you. 

Matt is genuine, which seems to be his personality trait, and it makes you feel somewhat important again. Like you’re worthy of whatever it is he’s giving you, not constant pain and suffering. It’s strange and new, and it is still terrifying in a way, but once you let it happen, it’s a lot more gentle on your soul.

“Fuck me,” you curse under your breath. “We haven’t even sat down yet.”

“Is that a bad thing?” he asks. 

You shake your head. “No.”

“So, does that mean I can still buy you a coffee?”

“Now more than ever,” you blurt the first sentence that comes to mind. You look at him as if he is a rare species, and you’re painfully aware of that.

Can he read your mind? Whenever you look at him, it seems like he knows just what you’re going through. He tries to hide it, but it’s almost as if he’s already inside of you. Not in the way you want him to but in a way that makes you feel vulnerable, but you still would surrender all of you to him if he just asked. 

Your hands slip from his waist. 

“After you,” he says, grabbing a hold of your arm again.

“Right,” you mutter. “After me.”

The line isn’t long.  You get behind a few other people, Matt’s hand still tightly clasping your bicep. 

“I just realized that they don’t have a Braille option for the menu.” Your eyes dart around the room, but the only visible menu is the one hanging above the counter. 

You’ve been here more times than you can count, but you never actively paid attention to how accessible it all is—which is not at all. 

Matt chuckles beside you, his breath tickling your ear. “Read it to me,” he says. His voice is soft, quiet, and kept low so only you can hear him.

You shiver. Your lips suddenly feel drier than the desert. You won’t survive this day, you’re sure. He’s going to kill you.

“R-read it to you?” you stammer as if it is such an outlandish request. It isn’t. You just can’t process it properly, not when he’s so close to you and he smells like he does. 

He doesn’t have a strong, overwhelming scent. The cologne he’s wearing only has a slight whiff of sandalwood and nature, but it’s nothing too overwhelming. Of course, he must have a sensitive sense of smell as well. He probably uses scentless soap and shampoo, and the cologne he uses might even be the only scent he can stand. What you smell on him must be his natural scent. Clean, soft, warm—you’re obsessed with it. You’re addicted to it.

Matt nods again. “Yeah, read it to me,” he repeats.

“Okay–” you take a deep breath, and you begin to recite the options you already know by heart. Coffee, cold drinks, tea, lunch options, and snacks. 

He listens intently to what you have to say. “I think I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

“Did you decide that now or did you know that from the beginning?”

“I may have already known,” he says with a smirk.

“Then why did you ask me to read it to you?”

“I like listening to your voice.”

When you suck in a sharp breath this time, you manage to conceal it better. “That’s cheesy,” you retort, trying to match the tone of his voice but failing miserably. Flirting over the phone proves to be much easier than in person, especially with a man like him. 

“Is it still cheesy if it’s the truth?” Matt asks.

You look at him, staring at your reflection in his glasses, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “The truth can be cheesy.”

“That’s true, but I made you smile. I’d consider my cheesiness successful.”

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

He chuckles. “Oh, don’t worry. It won’t. Can’t deny it makes me feel good though.”

You exhale again, even more shaky than the last time. All you can see is yourself in his reflection. Before you can answer, the couple in front of you finishes their order and moves on to the other end of the counter, allowing you to step forward.

“Hi,” you say to the barista behind the counter. “Could I get two regular lattes and two muffins, please?”

Matt smirks beside you, not at all fazed by your ignorance of his antics. If anything, it spurs him on further, and he tightens his grip on your arm. Deep down, you know that he is doing it on purpose, but at the first sign of you being uncomfortable, there is no doubt in your mind that he will stop. But you’re not uncomfortable; you’re merely flustered beyond relief. To him, that’s a good sign because it means that you’re in this and not with one foot out the door—and you wouldn’t want to be, anyway, which is much scarier than the prospect of turning around and remaining alone for the rest of your life. 

A bit of fear goes a long way, but there are still walls that he has to break through. Walls you won’t let him through so easily, but you also know you can’t keep him at an arm’s length forever. Eventually, the truth will come out, and you’re not quite sure how to deal with that revelation before your date has even taken off.

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[jermagaunt]

Had a game yesterday against the lovely @becomingisla who came to visit us over the weekend for a festival. Playing at home made me realise how small all my terrain is and that I definitely need to get a bit more. Really fun game where I used my very old, very battered Ork models for Orktober and Isla used her short men, I mean pre primaris iron hands list. This battle really got me excited to play orks again which is exactly what I was hoping for because it's seemed too daunting a task to try and fix up my battered and bruised poor orks from 10-15 years ago. Supply drop was our primary mission and battleline units could still shoot and do actions which was helpful for both our lists in this 1k point game. The far corner objective was blowing up on turn 4 and the middle objective was the only one to remain in turn 5 allowing for some big points in those last turns. Here is what our armies looked like after deployment, the unprimed trukk contained my big squad of 10 nobz with a warboss who also let them move 8" once they're out the trukk.

Isla got first turn and pushed forward a bit, he lascannon old man dreanought taking a few wounds off my trukk.

I pushed forwards hard on my turn one, getting lots of big advances and probably pushing my bikes way too far, they're orks, they got excited!

I forgot to get some pictures of turn 2 but I declared the WAAAAGH! to give all my guys advance and charge and a bit of extra protection. The trukk still died, unfortunately not blowing up so I could careen it forward but the Nobz clambered out ready for a big run towards the dreadnought that krumped dere trukk over dere! Both dreadnoughts managed to survive the turn, one being charged by a very angry 4 armed deff dread and the other being slapped 9 times by a warboss' powerclaw.

Turn 3 the terminators came in and the dreadnought ran away to allow everyone to shoot the Nobz. Ard as nails meant most things were wounding them on 6s and a failed charge meant those terminators weren't long for this world.

The Nobz and Boyz charged the armoured gitz and ripped them open, the captain surviving and me realising that Helbrecht and his sword bros punch a lot harder than a warboss and his Nobz.

Turn 4 saw the old man running back for a heroic last stand on the final objective but we both knew it was curtains at this point. He took down the remaining Nobz with him but the warboss crumped im gud fer squishin iz gitz like dat!

Quick final turn just to tally up points, the dreadnought did explode out of spite to kill one more boy and hurt a warboss and a little unclean one came to watch the last turn

Really fun game against @becomingisla and here are a few action shots she took of her terminators' final moments. She did really good despite only a few games of 10th under her belt

Final scores here and can't wait to get my orks all fixed up and krump some more gitz! Already looking at some 3d prints of Nobz and meganobz for a bully Boyz list...

[garciaasfluffypen]

bright beginnings pt 8.

pairing: single dad!joseph quinn x fem!reader  wc: 1.4k  warnings: i don’t think there’s any!! let me know if i missed them tho. ALSO this part is still in joe’s pov

part seven • part nine

“so hold on.”

“holding.” joe took a sip of his tea.

“so in the last few months you’ve gained control of a daycare, started divorcing the witch and realized that you’re in love with your employee.”

joe practically choked on his tea. “i’m not- i’m not in love with her.”

“mmhmm…” grace chuckled. “sure joe.”

“don’t look at me like that!” joe playfully hit her on the arm while the kids weren’t looking. “i’ll admit, y/n is beautiful-“

“thats a really pretty name.”

“yes, but-”

“-you literally own the daycare, joe, i don’t think it's gonna matter in the long run.” grace took a sip from her cup. “and you haven’t had a chance to date since julia took over your life so this is basically a fresh start for you.”

joe sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “you do have a very valid point. but-”

“nope. don’t wanna hear it. you’re gonna flirt and your gonna feel good doing it.”

“what if she doesn’t like me back?”

“from what i heard from wes, she’s got her eye on you. joe she invited you out for drinks on girls night. girls don’t do that unless they’re whipped.”

“th-there’s no way she’s whipped for me.”

grace looked at joe over her mug. “joseph. wesley told me everything about girls night. and from context clues, i can tell she’s into you.” a beat. “don’t huff at me! you know i’m right and you’re only thinking this way because julia is a-”

“choose your next words very carefully vandien, there are children around.”

“you know what i want to say and that i will say it as soon as the kids go to bed.”

joe sighed, “do you think she likes me?”

“i don’t even know her but i know she likes you back. wes told me she spent like almost forty minutes talking to you two at the bar the other night, yeah? to be honest joe, most girls don’t do that kinda shiii…uff. that kinda stuff. we tend to stick to our groups and don’t go out of the way for men. you guys kinda suck, no offense.”

“none taken.” joe shrugged. “i just… i dunno, it feels weird i guess? to think anyone would actually like me.”

“well why don’t you take it slow? just try and… dip your toe in the water?” grace raised her eyebrows. “and besides, you don’t have to do anything until you’re ready. don’t force something that could potentially backfire if julia finds out.”

joe was quiet for a moment. “do you think she would use it against me?”

“honestly?” grace was quiet for a moment. “she wants to turn your life upside down. now i’m only hearing all of this second hand since i work with her sister at lamda, but from what i heard she really wants the kids.”

“the kids she subjects to sitting in the same room for hours on end with no enrichment and barely takes care of? the ones who get learning from their father and not their mother?”

grace nodded. “i don’t know what she has against you but…”

“i can’t believe her.” joe set his mug down on the side table. “i actually can’t-”

“daddy?” riley padded over to joe, climbing up into his lap. “daddy sad?”

joe’s heart melted. “a bit sad, yes bubby. your mummy isn’t being very nice to daddy.”

“mummy being mad?”

“you could say that, yes. mummy is trying to get daddy to do things he normally wouldn’t do. so mummy is being a bit mean.”

“dat’s not nice, mummy no be mean.” riley pouted. “mummy need be nice. like you daddy. you nice.” joe rubbed up and down her back. “daddy?”

“yes my princess?”

“thomas and me stay tonight?”

“yes, you get to stay with daddy for seven extra days! maybe longer if mummy decides to be nice.”

“wot about y/n? do we getted to play with her?”

grace had to force herself not to burst out laughing as she covered her mouth with her hands, watching joe’s expression turn from mortified to amused. it did make him chuckle a bit seeing how much they loved y/n, but it honestly could be because they didn’t have a solid female presence in their home lives. julia was not meant to be a mother, but for some reason she forced the idea of being parents on him pretty early into their marriage. it could have been because her own parents were determined to pass on the bloodline, and they fully thought that joe was going to make it big. from what grace had heard, originally he was interested in her sister, lucia, but that fell through pretty quickly when her mother basically shoved him into a relationship with julia.

julia, from the small amount of time that grace had spent in the same room as her, was a major bitch. you couldn’t do anything right for that girl, and it showed. julia refused to talk to grace, even though she and joe were pretty close since she was jealous of their friendship. at least, thats what wesley had told her. if there was anything she wanted in life, it was for julia to take a goddamn hike. she never liked julia, if she were being completely honest. it was definitely so ething that made her feel so bad, especially for joe, but she knew things were goung to be turning around now that the bitch was going down.

shs bad helped joe find some of the best lawyer he could afford, and he was able to help work out the custody plan. it was a shitty one, but it was so worth it. the kids would get roughly two weeks at each parent’s house, and spend more time at joe’s when julia decided iut of the bkue she was going to travel. grace and lucia had their suspicions that julia had a boy on the side, but nothing had been confirmed yet. it could potentially explain why she was traveling so much, but nobody would know for sure until it became facebook official. grace hadn’t blocked her simply for that reason- she needed to know exactly when julia would potentially post this guy she potentially had been seeing so they could take it straight to the lawyer and make the claim that she was prioritizing herself over the kids. lucia already sent over tons of photos of the kids sitting alone in a room with a handful of toys and a tv blasting that horrid steve and maggie show that julia insisted they watch. their case was getting better and better by the second, but she wasn’t sure how much longer it would last.

“is gracie stay too?” riley perked up. “gracie bedtime story?”

“i can totally stay for bedtime tonight. we can do all the silly voices!” grace leaned over to tickle riley’s tummy. “for now though, let’s decide what movie to torture daddy with during dinner time.”

“grace… no screens during dinner.” joe gave grace a pointed look.

“but joe, auntie grace is here. they totally deserve screen time during dinner. when was the last time they got to watch a movie during dinner?”

“the answer is no. they do that too much at julia’s and i want them to actually foxus on their food and not the movie.”

“how about a movie after dinner?” grace smiled sheepishly at joe. “then we can open the guiness you’ve been hiding in the back of your pantry.”

“you’re cheeky.”

“that i am, but you love me.”

“yes, i do.” joe lovingly rolled his eyes as he stood up to go make dinner. “but i also hate you. and you owe me big time.”

“i’ll be your babysitter when you finally get the guts to ask y/n on a date!”

joe definitely did not subtly flip her off as he walked to the kitchen.

[storiescelestial]

Mystery

It all felt like a mystery going with the Doctor was exciting but meeting the Toymaker was definitely a mystery.

Right when Donna and the Doctor entered the shop the door closed and you weren't allowed in.

Confusing struck you and you tried the door again but it truly didn't go.

"Just go!" Donna called and you listened.

You ran maybe to get help? But as of right now you were on your own. You stayed near the shop however waiting.

You waited for about an hour when they ran out and the shop was suddenly gone, you ran towards them to catch up with them before they left.

"What are we doing?"

"Going to present time!" Announced the Doctor.

It was over in a flash and you were dropped off at your own home.

"We need to find him and as of right now you need to help us by exploring around your area, he may be anywhere really." The doctor explained before leaving.

You then left to your own home and kicked over a rock as you walked.

You opened your door and turned on the lights noticing a tennis ball?

You went to pick it up than something outside made a noise so you went outside to notice another ball.

You went to pick it up but when you stood back up you noticed the Toymaker standing beside you. You jumped back and tumbled a bit but he caught you.

"What- what do you want?" You said pulling away.

"I'm going to need to explain it." He stated in his Germam accent.

You allowed him inside and to sit on the couch, you sat beside him a bit nervous.

"Relax," he gently pushed your shoulder to lean against the couch.

"What's this all about?" You asked sitting back up and he pulled away.

His accent switched to British and that's him trying to be serious.

"I'm going to need a place to stay at for a while till that doctor goes off somewhere. I need your help."

"Why me?!" You freaked out realizing he wanted you to betray the trust of your closes friends.

"No," you quickly said after the question figuring the sooner he leaves the better.

"I knew you'd say that so," he pulled out a stack of cards and got them out shuffling them.

"Let's play a game. If I win I stay if you win I leave without another word."

You agreed to it probably making a mistake as you weren't good at games but you thought you were good at cards especially if it was anything other than war. You had terrible lucky with it.

"Your pick," he offered you.

You felt nervous amd the only thing you did was shake your head no.

"War than," he smiled.

Well...just your luck.

He quickly shuffled them before placing the stack down. You went first and got an 8 of clover while he went and got a Ace.

He chuckled at your defeat and you put the card back down and stood up, he stood up along with you.

"You get the couch I don't know what else to tell you, it is just one bedroom."

"Ja, that is fine." He gave a small bow which you scoffed at.

"Don't act so polite now," you mumbled as you walked off to your room shutting the door.

You went to relax, replaying the events that had happened and how come you're now stuck with the Toymaker.

You decided to just do something else to pass time other than this so you went to bed instead.

The next day however you got up to make breakfast only to reliaze that Toymaker had made it.

"Ta-da!" He smiled as you walked in.

"Morning," you said still kind of shocked from what he made.

He had made pancakes and eggs along with toast but he laid it out so it looked like one of those foods from movies that you wish you could have.

As you walked to it he pulled out the chair.

Now you really felt special as you took a seat.

"What's all this for?"

"Take zee like a zhank you." You noticed his German accent quickly.

After breakfast was done you went over to go sit on the couch and he took a place beside you.

"Is zhis vhat you normally do?"

"Yes, I don't go out much only if I need something but I usually go in the afternoon time."

"Dat is not fun," he complained.

"Well I'm not a fun person," you leaned back.

"But you are." He rested the side of his face against the couch looking at you.

I turned to him.

"Truly not." I snapped back.

"I bet du are."

I stayed silent for a moment just gazing at him and noticing features I hadn't seem to notice before.

"...not," I mumbled.

He sat up a bit now probing his elbow against the couch and rested his hand against his face.

"If you like ich can play zee games, ja?"

"Not now," I sat up too.

"Aw ze nein fun."

"I did tell you I was."

I got up and went to the kitchen.

The day went by fast I mean we did nothing really.

A day afterwards though the Toymaker discovered there was going to be a amusement park coming so he decided to surpise me.

"Where are we going? This is ridiculous."

"You'll be surprised." He smiled with a wink.

As we went I was surprised to see a big ferris-wheel in front of us.

"What- is this why you're wearing that band outfit?"

"Ja."

We paid before going in.

They had all kind of rides to go on. Small roller coasters or the ferris wheel or some cotton candy machines.

The Toymaker took me around exploring different rides before he got me some cotton candy.

The sun was setting by the time we were done, we sat down on a bench enjoying our time.

"Isn't this more fun zan sitting around?"

"It is," I agreed.

As the evening settled he wrapped an arm around me resting on my shoulder.

He seemed to relax and so did I. Honestly he was fun to be around and made things better.

But of course I had to remind myself of my friends, I pulled away from him and he pulled back.

"Sorry," he said.

After a bit we went back and settled down.

The next day he took me to a duck pawn to feed some of them.

We made some jokes and had a good time till he suddenly pulled me to the side.

"What-" he pressed a finger to his lips mentioning for me to quiet down.

There was the doctor and Donna walking by, this was a chance I could take to call out to them but I didn't for some reason I felt as if I'd betray a friend.

As they walked by us we turned and headed in the opposite direction and headed to a park nearby.

"This way," he said and I followed.

There he took me to a tree and he started to climb it.

"Scared?" He asked after he turned to me and I wasn't climbing.

"A bit nervous." I didn't lie to him.

He held out his hand and I took it as he helped me up.

We finally made it to one of the branches and sat there.

Of course I still held his hand.

"You prefer holding hands?" He teased me and I turned red with blush.

He laughed.

"No worries," he smiled.

I felt a breeze pass by us, it was a warm day so a gently breeze passing by was relaxing.

I rested my head on his shoulder and relaxed.

I relaxed for a few minutes before he made a slight movement and I got up.

"C'mon I wanna show you something," he hoped down as the branch wasn't high off the ground at all before he helped me down.

He than went off to another part of the park where some flowers grew.

They were a beautiful patch of dandelions.

He went down and picked a few before presenting them to me. I smiled and took them.

"Y'know you're sweet."

"Ja." He went to lay down on the dandelions and I laid beside him.

He took my hand and held it. I felt a blush come over me.

He chuckled noticing my blush.

He came close to me.

"Zer nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Really?" I asked.

"Really" he gave me a warm smile.

I smiled back.

We laid there for a few more minutes before getting up.

We got home and relaxed that rest of the time, I manged to calm my blushing state down but I have a feeling that'll become a big joke later on.

He usually tried taking you out he didn't care if it was a walk in the park or something.

But sometimes he would stay and help you out.

His favorite thing would have to be his random hugs. After you two created a friendship he would give random hugs here and there.

This one time you were just fixing up your bookshelf when he came along all excited and what not.

"Ah madame," he took your hand and began to dance.

"Um Toymaker?"

"Hm?" He had pressed his cheek beside yours.

"What's with the dancing?"

"Nothing," he smiled and spun you around before intertwining your fingers again.

You danced for a couple of minutes before separating.

But all in all he was sweet and kind. But he still liked to play his games so almost every night he'd ask you to play a game.

One day he had token you to the park again for a relaxing time, it was a beautiful day so why not?

While there you decided to bring a book and while he relaxed resting on your shoulder as you read to yourself, he listened however becoming interested in the book you read.

You caught on quickly and decided to read a bit louder.

After a while of this you finally put your book down.

"Interesting," he mumbled.

"I guess so."

He gave me a confused expression.

"Then why do you read it if it's not interesting?"

"Cause it's apart of a series I'm reading and if I miss this book than it wouldn't make scences."

"Ja, right."

He held your hand and cuddled more up to you.

"Aren't you comfortable enough?"

"Your keeping me warm, especially since your blushing."

You started to blush.

He smiled.

"Warm," he mumbled knowing you'd blush more.

I leaned back relaxing.

[luke-r-gillespie]

May 27 - Arashiyama Bamboo Forest / Arashiyama Monkey Park

Freewriting

Today started like most others, at 8 with a quiz followed by a hurried walk (jog) to our morning class meeting. In class today (while eating my breakfast bento) we discussed historic and modern forestry management in Arashiyama as well as the Sakai chapter of The Tale of Genji. Following our class meeting, we took two trains to Arashiyama where our first stop was the bamboo forest. The bamboo forest was both massive and dense, so much so that it felt like something out of a movie. While inside of the bamboo forest, we visited Nonomiya-Jinja Shrine (a key location mentioned in todays readings.) The shrine was smaller by comparison to many of the other shrines that we have visited in Japan thus far but it was really cool nonetheless (I especially liked the thick moss carpet growing on the ground by the shrine and how hidden it was within the dense bamboo.)

Our next stop in Arashiyama was one of my favorite places we have gone in Japan so far, the Monkey Park. It is exactly what it sounds like and it was just as awesome as it sounds. After a short but STEEP hike up a small mountain, we arrived at the area with all the monkeys. There were monkeys everywhere and they were walking right up to and past us. Some of them were adorable and some were a little unsettling but they were all unbothered by our presence. After taking a class photo and watching the monkeys for what must of been more than an hour, I went into the small building where you could feed the monkeys through a wire fence. This was a highlight for me, I paid 100 yen (like 65 cents) for a bag of apple slices that I fed to a bunch of the monkeys. The smaller ones put their hands through the bars and the larger ones would wait on the other side with an open palm. Both types of monkeys would gently take the apple slices right out of your hand before scarfing it down (it was very cute.) One monkey was very adamant that I should give him more, hollering with his little hand through the bars (almost like he was staying "gimme dat!")

After running out of apple slices, I headed down the mountain and into town to grab some lunch. In town, I had a sashimi bowl that was really good before walking around Arashiyama a bit.

Leaving Arashiyama, I headed to Round One to play some games with a few of the guys. After playing some maimai and DDR, I grabbed a few more gifts for people back home before going to MOS Burger for dinner (still not great, Japanese McDonalds is definitely better.) After MOS, I headed to Stay SAKURA where I turned in for the night!

Academic Reflection

Todays first reading was about the history of Arashiyama Bamboo Forest. More specifically, the history of Japan's protection of the Bamboo Forest dating back to the Heian Era. Back then, protective legislation was put into place in order to preserve Japan's resources. Today, the protection of Arashiyama Bamboo Forest is centered around protecting its scenic views and preventing erosion in the region. Since the Heian Era, Arashiyama Bamboo Forest has faced a multitude of problems stemming from poor legislation, natural disasters, rampantly expanding animal populations and even arboreal disease. Walking through the forest today, I was very pleased that the historic sight had pushed through all of these hardships. I also gained a deeper understanding for why historically, Japan has gone to such great lengths to preserve this natural wonder.

Todays second reading, the Sakai chapter of The Tale of Genji, related to todays excursion by way of Nonomiya-Jinja Shrine (which is located in Arashiyama Bamboo Forest and is a key location within this text.) Nonomiya-Jinja Shrine was constructed as a temporary shrine, intended for the future priestess of Ise. Within the reading, Lady Rokujo (also adressed in the story as The Girl of Nomomiya) who is a mistress of Genji, kills another one of his mistresses. To be honest, this reading was a little hard to follow for me, similar to the Bunraku reading from Tokyo. Due to Genji and Lady Rokujo, today, Nonomiya-Jinja Shrine is known as the shrine of lovers and has shed its temporary status, becoming a perminant fixture of the Arashiyama Bamboo Forest.

[jmdbjk]

Magic Shop

I just watched BTS 5th Muster (Magic Shop) Seoul that took place in June 2019.

All the cute moments that I have only seen brief clips of until now, I can fully appreciate in full HD. What a great show that was. 

I mean, what the heck kind of acting is this Park Jimin? Jungkookie enters the room and you want to jump his bones right there. Sizing him up for a meal or something...and maybe Kookie is thinking “yeah, I’d tap dat...”

The one thing I wasn’t prepared for was the unexpected bittersweet moments. 

For example, during ending ments, Jungkook spoke about when they debuted and how overwhelmed he was and his mind was all over the place during their performance. With barely 2000 fans present, it was so overwhelming that he couldn’t begin to acknowledge fans’ facial expressions. But as time went on (more performances) he began to see the fans eyes, then as more time passed he could see Armys’ facial expressions and even more time passed and he could see everyone’s body movements until finally he got to a point where he could hear Armys’ voices, in that moment, everything opened up to him and he was proud that even though they were now performing huge stadium venues (with tens of thousands of fans present), he could see all of Army and how magical it was.

And when Joon said “What would it be like if today was our last day? ... Hey, that would be fine, too.” He said he was happy, the day had been magical and in the bigger scheme of things, up to that point they had worked hard, realized their biggest dreams, had great fans and this particular moment was enough to represent how fulfilling it all was...little did he and Jungkook know...merely 8 months later, COVID would cause the world to shut down. No more performances, no more Army faces. 

I do hope and pray nothing interferes with the concert(s) in Seoul in a few weeks so they can finally perform in their own country and K-Army can finally welcome their boys back home. It’s been a long time coming. 

[yamithediaperdork]

A very little guy Christmas (DC)

It was the most wonderful time of the year, at least if you asked a certain orangeish red haired freckled faced 10 year old in a 19 year old's body.

wally west always loved Christmas but this year was better then any other as Christmas morning also happened to land on the 4 month anniversary of him and his wonderful boyfriend Dick having moved in together.

Their modest little one story house was well stocked thanks to stocks Dick had from his adopted father Bruce Wayne that were managed by Lucas fox meaning neither boy HAD to work out side of the occasional superhero stint.

Dick had actually been thinking about getting a bigger house till wally had pointed out they didn't have a butler and he wasn't gonna just clean the palace pointing out 'just because I move at super speed doesn't mean I'm not still putting in the same effort'

That being said, Wally had taken it upon himself to put up the Christmas decorations, Dick had just come home with the box with the speedster had removed it from his hands and it look like a Christmas explosion had happened in the house, both inside and out.

"..You know, Barry warned me but I didn't believe him." Dick had teased.

"Hey! I left the tree alone for us to do together." Wally had said, a mock pout on his face, and earning a kiss on his freckled cheek from dick that almost made him melt.

"That you did Wall man, that you did."

As the pair had set up the tree, Dick couldn't help but gush mentally about how much his lover and best friend seemed to have regressed just from such a simple act. he loved the freckled dork with all of his heart and it was that love that helped him get over the semi hurt he'd experience a month before after discovering the dork's secret, something he apparently thought was so shameful that not even Barry or Iris knew about. Considering the bond between the three that said lots.

Still while he had been temped to confront wally at the time, Dick had a better plan and was waiting for Christmas morning, when his adorable little speedster would get a very special Christmas present from Santa.

"Dick! you're not gonna believe this, but somebody, and I don't know who, ran in here and stole the last of those awesome sugar cookies you made while we were getting the tree decorated! I bet it was Zoom, he's always had a sweet tooth!" Wally said, shaking Dick out of his distracted thoughts.

Dick smirked. A speedster wasn't totally unnoticeable if you knew what you were looking for and while you wouldn't be able to do much to stop them in most cases, there was a tell tale vibration in the chest that you could feel if you trained yourself to notice it. even then Wally's claims that it could of been Zoom (who dick knew for a fact was locked up in Iron heights at the moment) Wally's claims fell flat due to the scatter of crumbs on his chin and a smudge of icing on his lip.

"Really? that DASTARDLY fiend!" Dick chuckled. "He even went the extra mile to plant evidence on you!"

Wally froze and blushed, then wiped his face getting icing and crumbs on his Christmas sweater and gave a sheepish laugh.

"oh uh..well, see.." wally started, rubbing the back of his head with the other arm.

"Relax, I'll make more after this, but your helping this time. note that means helping me make the dough and cook it, not stealing half of the cookie dough one tea spoon at a time." Dick chuckled.

"I can handle that, BUT!" and wally held up a finger. "Only if I get to lick the beaters."

"Deal dork."

With the presents under the tree, Wally had to keep fighting the urge Christmas eve not to just unwrap them and re wrap them at super speed to see what he got. For one, he knew it would spoil any surprises Dick had planned for him and well for anther.. he was Nightwing and had been trained by the freaking batman. there was no way Dick wouldn't of found out somehow.

Believe it or not, living with the world second (or was that third?) greatest detective could be a pain, no matter how great his butt looked.

'Though it IS a very, very sexy butt.' Wally thought, watching as Dick bent down to add a last second extra three presents.

"heh, really going all out and spoiling me this year even after I made you wear that ugly sweater huh?" Wally giggled, sitting on the couch and sipping at some eggnog.

It's a wonderful life was playing on TV though never of them were really paying attention to it, it was just a Christmas tradition that Dick had with Bruce and wally had been fine with carrying it on over to their house.

"Oh, these aren't from me. Superman was doing a favor for Santa and dropped these off early, he knows what a good boy you've been." Dick said and smirked.

Wally giggled, he of course knew there was no such thing as Santa (though given what kind of world he lived in, he'd maybe had spent A LOT of time in the north pole when he first got his powers looking for Santa's workshop) He loved how small dick was treating him and wised that he could of confessed his hidden side to Dick.

But with all the weirdo's that dick had dealt with in Gotham, the last thing he wanted was for Dick to find out that sometimes wally liked to act even younger then he had been since December 1st.

"heh, you think superman helps out at Santa's workshop?" Wally asked, winking, and keeping the little game going.

"well maybe once or twice, Likely doesn't do it too much or he'd put the elf's out of work you know." Dick fired back.

Wally snorted, he'd gone for anther drink of eggnog and now some flew out of his nose and onto the front of his own ugly sweater.

"Ha! Picture a picket line around the fortress! 'Workshop jobs for workshop elf's!' and all that!"

"heh, Or maybe he just doesn't care for the work uniform, having to wear the fake ears and all." dick said, coming over as wally was caught up in a fit of giggles mentally picturing it.

Dick smirked as the movie wasn't even halfway over and wally was already falling asleep, he'd caught him going out on a dozen pointless patrols though out the day but Barry had warned him wally tried to tire himself out on Christmas eve under the whole 'the sooner I go to bed, the sooner it's CHRISTMAS!' mindset.

Despite having no powers of his own Dick was pound for pound the stronger of the two (at least when wally wasn't using his speed to add force to his attacks) and Dick scooped the cutie up in his arms, wall's chest to his own and the sleeping redhead's face resting on his shoulder and getting it damp with drool.

arm under his silly little lover's butt and thigh's Dick carried him to their bedroom, gently setting wally on the king sized bed and then slowly getting him undressed, trying not to wake the little guy up.

Getting wally out of his sweater and pants and socks was the easy part, and Dick had originally planned and tucking wally into bed in just his Flash brief's.

The he got a look at the stained on them and rolled his eyes, the boy just didn't like to wipe right!

'Oh well, let's me get to see that cute freckled ass.' Dick mentally chuckled and slowly, carefully, a bit at a time got the undies off of the fastest dork alive.

picking out a pair of loose boxers (with a lighting bolt them going on) Dick tugged them up most of the way, getting Wally's cute little pee pee (though Dick knew it was a grower not a shower) covered up the rolled him gently over onto his side, and drooled little as he looked at dat ass.

the white almost pale skin (Since Wally didn't have the patience for tanning) made the brown freckles all over the boys bubble butt stick out and if it wasn't for the fact he'd of woken wally up, he'd of leaned down and blew a raspberry on one of those cheeks.

'Sigh, the things I do for the greater good.' Dick thought and tugged up the boxers instead and got the wall man tugged under the blankets.

Looking at the clock it was only 8 pm, and Dick wasn't used to going to sleep this early due to his years of patrolling the streets at night.

'..oh what the heck.' He thought, and after going and turning off all the lights in the house and making sure the doors were locked, made his way back to their bedroom and stripping down to his own undies, crawled under the blankets.

it wasn't even five seconds later before wally was snuggling into his chest and cooing 'daddy'

'...I could get used to this." Dick thought with a grin.

Wally yawned as he woke up, a grin coming over his face. He was alone in the bedroom though that wasn't anything new considering, same with Dick carrying him to bed when he conked out.

the only mild surprise was that he hadn't been woken up by a raspberry on his cheeks, he knew how much Dick loved his tushie.

Getting out of bed he slipped on a cream white sleeping robe, not bothering with a top or pants and his only detour as he made his way to the living room/kitchen because of it's open concept was to tap a kidney so to speak.

Dick had made coffee and was reading a new's parent, the tree lights on and a fire going in the fire place and he looked up to see Wally and smirked.

"About time sleepy head! I thought you were gonna sleep the whole day away." Dick teased lightly.

"he, It's only 6:30 in the morning Dick."

"Like I said.."

Blowing a raspberry at Dick wally eyed the presents under the tree and was about to make his move when Dick cleared his throat.

"I was thinking, I know normally Barry and iris let you open all your presents first..But I wanna open MINE all up first. trust me, it'll be worth the wait." Dick said, setting the paper down and coming over leaving his mug behind as well.

wally whined like a little boy and then bit his lip, He WAS semi used to ruling Christmas morning and it couldn't hurt to let Dick this, if he had to. he guessed.

"ooook. just don't take forever. I've seen you with wrapping paper, you try and save it!" wally said, unable to keep the BRAT out of his tone.

"I swear, I'll go fast..not as fast as you but.." Dick chuckled and took a seat.

In what took what seemed like hours to wally (though it was only 15 minutes at most) dick had unwrapped his presents, Having gotten marital arts gear, tech and books from members of the bat family (and some cook books from Alfred) It was his present from wally though that had Dick squealing with delight, as it was a old stuff toy robin Dick had tossed out when they first moved in together since it hadn't handled the move and had basically come apart.

Wally had found it, rescued it and after a few (ok a lot) hit and misses had managed to get it cleaned, stuffed and restitched back together.

"I know it's not as fancy as the other presents bu-" Wally was said, rubbing the back of his head but was cut off as Dick Hugging him hard and kissed both his cheeks over and over.

"Thank you! I love it!" Dick gushed. "This makes me SO glad I went all out for your gifts!"

"heh, ooooh? and speaking of~" wally said, grinning like a fool and blushing at just how much Dick treasured his cheap fixed up stuffed toy over the insane amount of cash that had been spent on his other gifts.

"Yes! Though hand on, I wanna give you your gifts in the right order!" Dick said and semi rushed and pushed wally onto a seated position on the floor.

"heh, jeez, remind me that plushies are the way to your heart." Wally giggled, but took a seat cross legged and holding out his arms, his hands all in 'gimme!' mode.

The first present was from Wally's parents, a set pot's and pans even though they already had some, they tended to try and be practical.

The second was from his ex Artemis, who he was still friends with since the break up had been on both of them and she was dating Red arrow these days. It was a book on the zen of archarcy, though wally wasn't much into shooting.

The third and forth were from Tim and Barbra, Robin and batgirl and were some lower tech versions of the gifts Dick had gotten and the firth was large book with lots of fairy tales in it with vivid drawing to go along with the text.

"heh, Guess Alfred doesn't know I'm not much of a reader." Wally said, blushing at that gift and how childish it was.

"oh you'd be surprised what Al knows." Dick said in a amused voice.

Wally went to ask what that meant but was shushed as the first present from Santa was handed to him, and Dick stood by, with a HUGE grin on his face as wally took the bulky thing and torn at the tape, only to freeze and blush red all over and look back up at Dick.

"Merry Christmas little guy." Dick said as wally looked back down at the pack of little waddlers, the diapers for big babies in his lap.

"I.. but ..you.. " wally whined, trying to find the words to ask just HOW Dick had known Wally was a closeted adult baby!

"Before you ask, Just remember, I'm a world class dective, I found out last month and you have NO idea how hard it's been to keep it to myself till now. well mostly to myself." Dick chuckled.

"...Mostly?" Wally asked, gulping and looking back under the tree.

there was still two more presents from Santa, a present or two from dick, -groan- a present from batman and..

"Tell me you didn't tell Barry and Iris!?" wally whined and pouted.

"I would but that would set a bad example for my baby boy. you shouldn't fib." Dick laughed.

Dick felt a little bit bad as wally whined and whimpered, clearly he hadn't of wanted Barry and Iris to know but they were coming over for dinner later (with Dick and wally going to Wayne manor for dinner on boxing day) and he wanted him free to be a little guy all day.

"can i at least get one of my diapies on before we open the rest?" Wally whined, hugging the pack close to his chest and making Dick smirk.

"Open up your present from Santa then we'll get my widdle man in his diapies." Dick said, Kissing the redhead's cheek and breaking the pout from his face, though damn if wally didn't try and keep pouting, it just kept turning into a grin.

'Santa's' other two presents it turned out were a six pack of wipes and baby powder for the babies bottom, making it clear to Wally that Dick was more then willing to change him.(and BOY did Dick watching that realization click and the the MASSIVE blush that brought!) and then a second pack of diapers.

"Don't worry, we'll get more as you need them, we can even clear out your underwear drawer if we have to." Dick said cheerfully and got a reply that was music to his ears.

"DADDY!"

"awww, it's ok. I know you'll wanna make me all sorts of presents. Now, ready to get your diapies on?" Dick asked, coming closer and gently pushing Wally onto his back.

"Y-yeah but right here?" wally asked, eyes darting to the window, even though the curtains were drawn shut.

"hey, you wanna be a big baby, you have to go with it..when does a BABY get to chose where he gets his huggies changed?" Dick asked teasingly.

"I hate you so much right now!" Wally huffed and laid back, crossing his arms.

"No you don't." Dick said.

"..No I don't." wally agreed.

it was surreal, having his loving boyfriend being so ok with this and slipping into a daddy role with such ease.. It also had wally mentally cursing himself for not having spoken up sooner since he could of been rocking out in diapers ALL this time!

he closed his eyes not in shame but in bliss and his arms uncrossed as a thumb found it's way into his mouth as Dick pulled his undies off then opened the package.

"How many diapers do you want on little man? you can keep sucking your thumb and show me with your finger unless it's gonna take more then five." Dick teased gently.

wally squirmed LOTS at that, he had toyed and experimented with layering of course, what big baby hadn't? but those were cheap store brand diapers and he wanted to make these last.

Thinking about it for a second, wally held up three fingers.

"ok, can do.. Hmm.. Should of gotten your robe off first." Dick said.

Wanting to speed this along and get his butt back in diapers wally took matters into his own hands, thumb out of mouth and eyes open as he quickly shed the robe and tossed it down the hall like it was on fire and then was back on the floor, shivering a little from the cold, and a whole lot from excitement.

"heh, well that takes care of THAT I suppose." Dick laughed and tickled Wally's tummy as the speedster went back to slobbering on his thumb, but kept his eyes open this time.

Dick made a show of it, Unfolding each of the bulky baby print diapers and teasing wally almost with them and making the little reach out with his free hand, all I want.

he was almost making Wally's little guy stick up to a full 6 inches.

"Well, if I had ANY doubt you didn't want this before." Dick chuckled then added "Butt up wall man."

Wally listened to daddy and lifted his hips, all three diaper had been layered on top of each other and it felt like he was resting his butt on a pillow as his tushie came back down, his stiffly twitching wildly and Wally blushed, he was gonna cream hands free any second now.

"Guess I better stop teasing and hurry up before you shoot and coat yourself and have to go for a bath." Dick chuckled, quickly sprinkling LOTS of baby powder on Wally's privates and BARLEY getting the inner most diaper taped up before wally started to jerk his hips up and down, crying out around his thumb as load after load of 'baby milk' shot out into the diaper, Dick watching the show and though his orgasmic haze Wally could see Dick was getting excited as well.

Dick had to admit, while he'd of never thought of being a daddy dom before, he was finding it super fun and hot as fuck. watching wally cream that hard just from his huggies had Dick wanting to replace that thumb with a certain put of himself in Wally's mouth, but this was all about the baby and there would be time for that later.

Waiting for the hip's to stop jerking Dick moved a hand down and even though the thickness of the diaper could feel how hard his boyfriend turned baby boy was spurting and leaned down, smooching the big babies cheek and setting off anther wave of orgasmic bliss for the little guy.

Once wally was done, Dick smiled and rubbed Wally's tummy.

"have fun?" Dick asked and wally nodded. "Do you still wanna go on with the rest of the diapers or do you need a bit of big boy time after you cream?"

He wasn't being mean, he'd be happy to keep babying little wally but also didn't wanna force this on him anymore then he already had with the telling Barry and iris and Bruce.

wally pulled his thumb out, and there was a line of drool with it that Dick somehow found just even cuter and he gushed in a babyish voice.

"me wanna wear diapies ALL day dada." Wally coo'ed.

Dick's cock almost shot then and there and he was positive it was only his training in self control under Bruce and other martial art master that kept him from shooting though his undies and coating wally.

'maybe I'm gonna need a diaper too at this rate.' dick mused to himself then out loud. "Ok little guy!"

triple diapered and feeling all so small in the most wonderful way, Wally had turned into a little cuddle bug and kept nuzzling into Dick whenever he wasn't opening a present or waiting for Dick to get him one.

His present from Barry and iris was a large teddy bear, with a kid flash outfit on and by larger it was almost as big as his upper body and he gave it LOTS of hugs and named it Teddy flash right then and there.

His present from Bruce was confusing, as it was a book about how to stop bed wetting and he held it up for Dick to see with a eyebrow raised.

"Yeahhh..Bruce didn't really get what I was trying to tell him and just settled on thinking you were a bed wetter so I ran with it." Dick explained sheepishly.

"heh, Ok. Guess that means no wearing to grandpa's house huh?" Wally giggled.

"Ha! yeah, don't think that'll work out..though Alfred semi knows hence the fairy tales and well, Tim's got a lot of quirks like you so think he'd just get jealous." Dick chuckled.

Wally giggled LOTS at that and then it was time for his gifts from Dick, which included two type of paci's (one with a naughty nipple and one with a normal) A set of Lego blocks but the big ones meant for babies, a rattle, a few more stuffies (A anther bear, a owl, a rabbit) and a diaper shirt that was main yellow with the flash logo on the front and on the back went 'Faster pooper alive!' in red lightning text.

He also got a teddy bear themed shirt and shorts outfit, a couple of toddler show DVDS and of course his FAVORITE onesie, the one he insisted on right away, was a red one with green trim and a picture of mistletoe on the small of the back, just above the butt and text about it saying "Kiss under the mistletoe"

Getting the onesie on the little guy wasn't easy, Dick would have to see if Iris could let it out some or something or just cut back on the diapers when Wally wanted to read it.

But as the protege of the god damn batman wasn't one to give up quick and with a lot of effort and grunting he got the crotch snaps done up, though he had to make use of some spirit gun like he used to keep his mask on to do it.

unsurprisingly Wally wasted little time as soon as it was on, rolling over and getting on his hands and knees and offering his massive padded rear up and looking over his shoulder.

"Welllll Daddy? Aren't you gonna kiss me 'under the mistletoe'?" he asked, breaking into a fit of giggled.

"I suppose I better do it now before you go uh-oh." Dick countered and too lots of hoots and giggles, Leaned in and planted a big old smooch on Wally's diapered butt.

"Hehehehehe I might be a BIG baby..But your a BUTT kisser!" Wally giggled like mad.

Seeing how excited wally was Dick made a mental note NOT to let him have sugar while he was in little mode.

"Soooo what do we do noooooow?" Wally asked, plopping back on his butt, leg's spread.

"well I'm gonna go make use breakfast while YOU have a very, very important mission." Dick said, grabbing the first DVD he came across and noting the title then opening it.

"Ohhh?" Wally asked, tilting his head and getting the normal paci clipped to his onesie.

"Yup! You need to start watched Paw patrol so you can explain it all to daddy when he goes to watch it with you later. think you can handle that?" Dick asked.

Wally smirked and then put on a fake look of concern.

"it'll be tough.. but I MIGHT be able to handle it if I have my super science blocks to put together while I study the Intel sir!" Wally giggled.

"heh.. well of course!" Dick said, going and getting the dvd in the machine and turning on the tv, and hearing a weird scuffing noise turned around and grinned ear you ear.

Wall had the container of blocks in one arm, and was rocking his hips and using the other arm to guide him as he scooted across the floor on his butt!

'Just how did it take me finding diapers not to see what a little guy he is, and just how the hell does he manage to adult at all?' Dick wondered.

With the blocks dumped out (after Dick got them opened since there was plastic to cut and Wally was too little to have a knife of course) Wally set to work while sucking on his paci to make a semi mock computer, while Dick cued up the menu and had episode 1 ready to go, he was just waiting on 'agent baby' to give the thumbs up he was ready.

give the thumbs up wally could feel a familiar pressure building up rapidly in his bowels and thought about letting Dick know he had to go poopie, and ask to use the potty, he'd never actually crapped himself before.

'nggggh.. nah. he said I hafa think like a baby and babies dun get to pick when and what they use their diapers for.' Wally thought and leaned forward as Dick passed him by, deciding to give his boyfriend a slight warning of what was coming by giving out a poot.

Instead, the 3 days of backed up poopie in his tummy (his eating habit's sometimes could back him up for days as food struggled to get though) took the opening and a soft 'eek!' escaped from his lips and a massive amount of poopie forced it's way out into his diapers, bulking them out even more but because of the spirit gum the onesie couldn't just pop open which meant once the back of the diaper was full, it only had one place to go.. the front.

Hands on the floor and on his knee's wally suckled hard on his paci as his poopies coated the front of his diapies, making him make tinkles and milk again and as the massive load came to a stop three or four minutes later, he opened his eyes and saw Dick smiling, having watched the whole thing.

"So glad you made room for din din. I'll change you after we eat." he said and then gently and firmly pushed wally onto his squishy and smelly seat and made the big baby make anther load of baby milk.

Unsurprisingly, he wasn't able to tell daddy much about paw patrol.

The end

[xxmiizcornerxx]

Darker the Berry (POC! Reader x Aizawa)

A/N: Okay so heres the late story I’ve promised! Sorry for the delay, my internet has been booty buttcheek and my only source of comfort has been Mario Kart 8 deluxe and my Soundcloud listening history 😣 ANYWHO~ This story is on the issues(insecurities) of colorisim. And this is for my insecure baes out there that just needs some love🥰So enjoy! (And hopefully my internet doesnt give out once im done (┬┬﹏┬┬).....)

A/N: Oh! Another side note, this is in Aizawa’s POV for the most part!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Oh for fucks sake. This is just embarrassing.’ 

Thought Aizawa Shota, aka Eraserhead, a somewhat well known hero. At least till another well known pro hero comes around. Anyways, it was late at night and Aizawa was at a small restaurant waiting for his date to come. But by the looks of it, he probably just got stood up. Recently he has been trying to “get back out there” to not only have his comrades off his back but also because he was becoming lonely. He wanted that emotional support from someone other than his students, family and friends. Someone he could come home to every night to ramble about absolutely nothing or about everything going on in his world. And sure he had his best friend and his cat to talk to, but its not the same. He wanted that somewhat perfect love he sees everywhere he turns. 

 With a tired sighed, he was getting ready to leave but all of a sudden he could hear an all too annoying familiar voice. Even without his quirk, Hizashi Yamada is the loudest man on God’s given green earth. “HEY SHOTA!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” He asked loudly making the people in the restaurant jump but Aizawa was accustomed to it.

“OOH! ARE YOU HAVING A DAT-?!” Aizawa instantly covered his mouth annoyed, “How about you shut up? Anyways yeah but I was just getting ready to-” he was cut off when a 5′8 dark skinned woman with the most beautiful set of dark eyes that was barely covered by the few dreadlocks that poked out of her high bun. She was dressed in light shades of grey and white that made her skin pop out. She was truly what they called a goddess among men. “I am so sorry I’m late! I got so busy with work, I lost track of the time and decided to come straight here.” the woman rambled not fully realizing that Aizawa was too busy silently thanking whatever deity that was here for not only sending Hizashi for stopping him from walking out that door but also blessing him with the most gorgeous person he’s ever seen. 

“It’s alright. My colleague here just stopped me from leaving.” He stated in his usual monotoned voice removing his hand from his friend’s mouth and sending him a look that said ‘ If you say or do something to ruin this for me, I will personally rip your vocal cords out.’, thankfully Hizashi got the memo nodding in slight fear. “Indeed I have! And now that you’re here miss, I can get what I’ve came here for and leave. Have a goodnight you two!” he stated as quietly as he can possibly get and left. “Sorry about my loud, somewhat obnoxious colleague. Here let me get your coat.” Aizawa said gently taking the woman’s coat setting it on the back of her chair. “Oh its alright, I have also been ‘plagued’ of having a very, very loud best friend. But you learn to get used to it.” she joked a bit taking her seat which only left the hero himself to take a seat. “I see. Well I don’t think we’ve properly introduced ourselves. I am Aizawa Shota, an absolute pleasure to meet you.” He said with a tiny little smile. “It’s wonderful to meet you, Aizawa. I am Y/N L/N.” she returned the smile flashing her pearly whites a bit. And with that led the beginning of a great date. The night was filled with a few laughs, a few stories about their past as children and teenage years.

Soon the two were at a park, the air was brisk and cold. The moon, stars, and streetlights illuminating their path and a small light drizzle of snow softly falling from up above. It was like a seen from a Hallmark Christmas movie, just absolutely perfect. Aizawa and Y/N were getting along great and were sitting on a bench somewhat snuggled up against one another but not quite because personal space still exists. Currently the topic of conversation landed on insecurities. Aizawa admitted to Y/N about how he felt about his own unkept look and how it took a lot of faith for him to even go out tonight. “That’s reasonable.” said Y/N, “But just in my own opinion, that unkept look is your own. Not many people can pull it off and still look as handsome.” she chuckled giving him a soft nudge of her elbow to the barely blushing man. “Well what about you? What are your insecurities?” Aizawa was genuinely curious about what she could possibly be insecure about. She was practically perfect in all aspects; has a good sense of humor, an amazing sense of style, very well educated, has more confidence than anyone he knows, and to top it all off, just carries herself respectably.

Y/N bit her thumb a bit nervous, for what she was about to reveal is going to be silly or at least that's what she thought. “Well. The thing I am most insecure about is my....complexion. As you can clearly tell I am not in anyway light skinned or even milk chocolate. And I know it is silly to be insecure about but from where I come from looking like me is a target in more aspects than one. To some being dark skinned has even been turned into a personality trait.” Without even noticing, Y/N ended on an entire rant about how her skin was and still is a target for ‘dark as night’ jokes or the ‘loud mouth, ratchet, Hot Cheetos’ girl. How people within her own community would just assume that she (and many others) fought or was angry all the time or lived in a really bad area where there was a lot of sun. Or the worst of things, that if she was a slave back then she’d be in the cotton fields. Every time she was told that or something similar, Y/N’s self-esteem would just crumble entirely. It made her feel unwanted, unloved, unnoticed, and just down right ugly. By the end of her little rant, she found herself trying hard not to cry in front of Aizawa. She didn’t really intend to just lay it all out there on the table for him, but maybe it was for the best. If they were going to continue dating then it was best for her to lay out all of the cards on the table and show him what he’s getting into.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to make everything so gloomy with my little insecurity reveal.” she said giving an awkward smile to the now stunned man. He personally didn’t understand how anyone could be cruel to their own people, let alone for how they looked. It was foolish and childish to say the least. But he was more than proud of Y/N for being able to overcome it all. “Well I’ll be honest here. I won’t pretend that I have any form of resemblance of what you must’ve gone through over the years simply because of your skin color, but I will tell you now. Your skin is beautiful and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I am willing to learn about the struggles you face and if fate allows it I’d love to be by your side as I do.” He said in a serious tone, gazing into her eyes and gently taking one of her hands bringing it to her lips planting a soft kiss upon her knuckles. “All those people in the past or in the now that has anything to say about your skin in a negative light are simple minded nincompoops' that have yet to be enlightened. After all, don’t they know?” he asked tucking a dread behind her pierced ear. “Know what exactly?” she asked with the most brightest smile that night. “Don’t they know that the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice?” That alone made Y/N laugh but Aizawa was being serious. “Boy, don’t do that. Plus how would you know?” she asked as her accent came out a little. “Well I don’t. But why don’t we find out?~” he asked teasingly leaning into her ear.

Needless to say.....

Best. 

First Date.

 Ever.

[princessjungeun]

Hi! I hope you're doing well :) Can I request a Heejin x Reader scenario where reader spends the New Year celebration with LOONA and everyone knows they both have a crush on each other so they try to set them together for a new year's kiss?❤️

Cherry Chapstick: Heejin x Reader

when heejin invited you to celebrate new year’s eve with her at the loona dorm you lowkey panicked. you’ve been there before on multiple occasions and you happened to be friends with some of the girls as well. the problem was that it was new years. any other holiday would have been fine but new years....everyone knows about the infamous new years kiss. and that kiss was the only thing that was bugging you.

see, you liked heejin a lot, you have for a long time but you’re very convinced it’s unrequited. despite the fact that hyunjin told you that heejin liked you too, it was still hard for you to believe. you had even tried to make yourself un-like her by distancing yourself from her.

but that fell through last night when she told you to your face that she knew you were trying to push her away. heejin was the first for you made since you moved from north carolina to south korea for your mother’s job. she was close to you and she didn’t want to lose that. but since heejin wasn’t one to force you to explain yourself, only asking a simple yes or no question:

do you hate me or something?

you were quick to tell her no which prompted her to invite you to the dorm so you could celebrate new year’s with the girls.

all of that leading up to now. you paced around your bedroom trying to figure out what to do. heejin told you to be there at 8 and it was already 6. most people would think that’s plenty of time but they couldn’t be more wrong.

styling your hair alone would take an hour, then picking out your outfit, eating before you go, walking there, and probably getting distracted on the way. all of those leave you with 10 more minutes of standing around before you’d be late.

without wanting to waste too much time you scrolled through your phone looking for a hairstyle. it didn’t take long to find a simple yet cute one, two braids into a high puff. simple enough.

like you expected doing your hair took an hour, although yes the styling part was quick. you somehow allowed yourself to not comb your hair for four days, which lead to a very not fun detangling process. all is well now though because you looked fantastic, the curls are all types of popping.

you got overwhelmed choosing an outfit and ultimately decided on a sweatshirt and black jeans. just as you were putting on your coat your grandmother stopped you, “where you goin lookin all prettied up pum’kin?”

you replied “heejin’s. remember i told you about it last night...you said yes.”

your grandmother onced you over “put on anotha’ layer, you finna get a cold baby cakes...n change ya shoes too.”

checking your phone you saw it was already 7:45 heejin’s dorm is a 20 minute walk away, 15 if you’re fast.

you whined “momma i’m gonna be late, i’ll only be outside for 15 minutes i won’t get sick.”

she came back from around the corner, a scarf, ear muffs, gloves, and your pair of tims in her hand. “see dats what ya ancestors said bout dem diseases n look what happened.”

you sighed deeply “momma-“ she narrowed her eyes at you and just like that you were on the floor changing your shoes.

when you were done you stood up and asked “alright can i go now?”

the older woman asked playfully “tryna leave me so soon?”

you quickly replied “n-no of course not momma i just-“

she laughed and told you “i’m just messin’ wit ya baby doll, go on now. have fun for me aight?”

you hugged her and placed a kiss on her cheek before running out the door.

it started snowing right as you were approaching the dorm building, you thanked lord that it didn’t happen sooner or your hair would have gotten messed up.

you texted heejin that you were outside and she quickly came and got you, leading you up to their dorm.

when you got upstairs the girls were all scattered around the dorm. haseul and kahei were still hanging decorations while gowon was playing on her switch. hyejoo and hyunjin were arguing over some game that they were playing on a laptop. yerim and yeojin were singing their hearts out in karaoke while jungeun was literally rolling on the floor laughing with jiwoo about god knows what. jinsoul was spaced out staring at a wall while sooyoung went to find her headphones to tune out everyone else.

heejin didn’t even get a chance to ask what you wanted to do because yeojin immediately grabbed you to sing a song on the karaoke machine.

the one perk about you being an american was the fact that you were quick to school the girls on all of the classic movies. from mean girls to clueless to white chicks, they’d seen them all. which is exactly why yeojin had no problem singing A Thousand Miles with you in english.

heejin could only laugh from the side as the two of you intentionally butchered the song. she watched as you went by each member to check out what they were doing as well. her heart eyes didn’t go unnoticed either, especially by hyunjin and haseul.

you’d excused yourself to the restroom and that was the time for all of the girls to grill heejin. each of them admitted they saw the way she watched you, they knew she liked you. heejin caved and admitted it to them all, but quickly following up with “but don’t do anything to embarrass me...please. i don’t want to mess up what we have.”

the girls all agreed, but because all they promised was to not embarrass her, they still managed to devise a plan to get you two together.

you returned from the bathroom, all of their eyes went to you and the room fell silent. your furrowed your brow “w-what? did i do something?”

yerim replied quickly “no no of course not! you just...uh”

jiwoo jumped in “you just look so gorgeous! all of us were stunned by your beautiful.”

you felt your cheeks heat up as your ears felt like they were burning red. hyunjin laughed “awwww she’s bLUSHINGGGG!”

heejin slapped her arm and hissed, “stop that!” before pulling you off to the side, back so the two of you were watching the television.

the two of you stayed side by side for the entire night, her arm looped in yours. by now it was 11:30 and the countdown was nearing.

you personally noticed how all the girls would start to mumble, then suddenly stop when you looked at them. not wanting to assume you just brushed it off, telling yourself it was “work stuff” even though you knew damn well it wasn’t anything work related.

both you and heejin were mindlessly scrolling through your phones, she was sitting next to you, half of her body already on your lap with your arm wrapped around her shoulder, holding her close to you.

“i’m bored let’s play a game!” haseul got everyone’s attention from the middle of the room. the rest of the girls agreed, you and heejin included.

“let’s do truth or dare.” hyunjin stated with a small smirk. everyone nodded immediately agreeing with her on the game.

you already knew it was a set up, but you also wanted to see how it played out so you didn’t say anything.

the the time fifteen minutes had passed, hyejoo danced all of Kiss Later, jinsoul ran down the street in her infamous lemon pants, sooyoung and jiwoo swapped clothes, and chaewon successfully made microwave popcorn (it was sooyoung’s dare to allow her to do it without supervision).

it was now your turn and you were starting to regret not telling the girls that you were onto them.

“alright...y/n truth or dare.” sooyoung asked with a smile.

you replied “truth.”

sooyoung laughed and said “is it true that you have a giant crush on heejin?”

your eyes widened and you switched to english quickly, hoping the foreigner card will get you out of this one, “i don’t understand the question...sorry.”

all of the girls excluding heejin and haseul booed you playfully, teasing you lightly sue to the blush on your face.

“alright that’s enough.” haseul quieted her members down so heejin could go next. the leader also got up and went to the kitchen for a glass of water.

“heejinnie truth or dare?” hyunjin wiggled her eyebrows dramatically.

“truth.” heejin answered without hesitation.

“oop sorry nope that’s not an option. you close dare by default settings.” hyunjin smiled.

heejin quickly whined “wha- she cant do that can she do that? haseul unnie! she cheated.”

haseul came back with her glass of water, a fake confused look on her face “sorry i wasn’t here i can’t do anything about it. sorry heekie.”

heejin mumbled “you all suck...” she took a deep breath before asking “fine what do you want me to do?”

hyunjin along with everyone else looked at each other before saying in unison, “kiss y/n at midnight.”

the two of you immediately froze in place, your face went pale as panic coursed through your veins. did she actually find out? who told? maybe hyunjin was right?

before you could decline you felt heejin dragging you to her bedroom, all of the girls giggling and squealing as you left.

you say on her bed, your feet dangling off the edge as heejin laid on her back, her head in your lap.

“sorry...they can be a little- you know how they are.” she spoke softly as she reached for your hand, playing with your fingers as she talked.

you replied “it’s cool...my friends back home were the same way- really i’m not upset or anything.”

a thick silence fell over the two of you as you stared blankly at the window and heejin looked up at you.

she asked “so...?”

you replied “so what?” you laughed a little at the end, humming a second of the song before focusing back on the conversation.

heejin responded “d-do you actually...like me?”

you looked at your feet, “yeah...i do. but it doesn’t matter.”

heejin sat up “why?”

you replied “for starters i cant really speak korean, your job wouldn’t allow me to even be with you, and even if we did the media would tear me apart for being black and you for being queer, you’re busy and i’d just hold you down. i don’t wanna do that to you...”

heejin frowned and opened her arms for you, “why would you say that?”

you mumbled into her chest “cause it’s true.”

heejin pulled you closer and said “you’re wrong...all of it. you’re wrong. your korean improves every single day. my dating ban ended three months ago, i’d protect you from anyone and you know that. plus i couldn’t care less about what they think, half of the group is queer too. if anything you push me to do better.”

you mumbled “really?”

she hummed “mhm”

you brought your hand up to heejin’s running your finger over the prominent tendons in her hand. softly you asked her “do you like me though?”

she let her voice deepen, “of course” she rasped out gently with a smirk creeping onto her face.

pushing her gently you mumbled “you’re such a tease, stop it.”

she lifted your chin with her finger and asked “what if i don’t hmm?”

your breath hitched in your chest for a minute before you replied “then i’ll have to....”

your eyes flickered to the digital clock across the room, 11:55:00 it read.

“you’ll have to what? hmm? cat got your tongue?” she pushed her face closer to yours, biting her lip lightly as her gaze narrowed, her eyes crawling up and down your body.

you let her push you back against the wall behind you gently. her face was centimeters from yours, you stuttered “h-heekie”

heejin ran her pointer finger underneath your chin lightly, “yes princess?”

your mind was cloudy, your couldn’t think about anything but the girl in front of you. words simply were not coming out of your mouth no matter how hard you tried. the best you were able to get out was, “i-”

she asked gently “is this okay baby?”

you resorted to body language instead, snaking and arm around her waist and holding her hand.

heejin held your face in one hand, her thumb tracing your jawline, “tell me yes or no pretty girl.”

you nodded and choked out “y-yes. yes.”

her eyes looked at the clock once more, only two seconds to midnight. she smiled as lifted your chin so her lips met yours.

the second you two pulled away she told you, “happy new year y/n.”

you were still thinking about the feeling of her lips on yours, the way she held you close, and how all of her emo were put into one simple kiss. without thinking you mumbled “your lips taste like cherry chapstick....”

[fluffymcu]

Anniversary (Peter x reader)

@marvelgiggles

Ok I had SO much fun writing this! Thank you for the idea! 💕

You and peter had been dating for a year today. It was your anniversary so you were going to spend the night at his house.

Peter smiled as the doorbell rang and quickly stood up from the couch and opened the door to see you smiling widely. “Hey Pete!” You grinned.

“Hey y/n! How are you?” He asked, grabbing your bag and bringing it inside. You walked inside with a smile.

“Great! I’m really excited for tonight.” You blushed. You were really thankful for your relationship with Peter and didn’t want it to ever end.

“Me too! Aunt may and I had been practicing cooking this dish for the whole week. I hope it comes out well.” He chuckled. He dropped your bag off in his room and led you to the dining room. You grinned at the scene before you. You could really tell he tried his best to make the table look as fancy yet casual as possible.

“Wow. This looks really nice, Peter! I love it!” You said, taking a seat at the table and peter following.

“Anything for you, y/n/n.” He smiled at you with the most innocent expression. You blushed and giggled lightly.

After a few moments of taking about each other’s day and laughing about funny moments that happened, you heard the oven ding and Peter stood up.

“That’s the food. I really think you’ll like it.” He left the dining room briefly then came back with two plates of lasagna. Your favorite food.

You gasped and clapped your hands enthusiastically. If there was anything you loved more than lasagna, it was Peter. You didn’t have it often because you didn’t know how to make it, but when you went out to eat, you always had lasagna. “Lasagna!” You squealed. Peter laughed at your reaction and set the plates down. Then he left briefly to grab some sprite and filled the 2 glasses up.

You dug into your food as soon as peter sat down and went for seconds and possibly thirds because lasagna.

After dinner, you were laying on Peter’s bed while he got changed into his pajamas. “I’m so stuffed. But I ain’t complaining.” You sighed. Peter chuckled and threw on a comfy shirt before getting on his knees and resting his arms I the bed.

“Yeah, me too. Well, it’s 8:30, still a little early. What do you feel like doing?” He asked. You thought for a moment.

“I wanna say watch a movie but I feel like that’s basic.” You said. Peter hummed and paused for a second before looking at you, a smirk growing on his face.

“You wanna... watch a movie in a blanket fort?” He asked with raised eyebrows. You looked at him with narrowed eyes and a smile.

“Nooow you’re talking!”

You both laughed at another funny scene in Napoleon Dinamite that you were watching on the laptop. You had a lot of fun building and setting up the fort and you were both proud of it. You were laying down side by side, lightly leaning on his shoulder.

“I’m really glad I met you y/n. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Peter said all of a sudden. You took your head off his shoulder to look at him and smile.

“Aww! Peter that’s so sweet! You’re the best thing that’s happened to me too!” You leaned in to give him a sweet peck on his lips. Peter pouted dramatically.

“Dats it?” He squeaked. You laughed and gave him a more lasting kiss, Peter smiling into it. “That’s better.”

You chuckled as you thought back to you and Peter’s first kiss. “I remember our first kiss.” You burst out laughter before Peter laughing along as well.

“Yeah, I remember too.” He chuckled, turning pink.

“You were so awkward!” You laughed. Peter scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Uh, so were you, don’t forget! I mean come on, that was my first kiss ever.” Peter laughed. You giggled.

“I know, I was really awkward too. You were the first guy I dated. So I had no idea what to do in a relationship!” You facepalmed as you laughed. “But, I wouldn’t change anything about the kiss. It was perfect.” You smiled. “Although maybe I would have been perfectly fine without your sweaty hands at the time.” You teased.

Peter gasped loudly. “How dare you?” He asked, poking your sides before rapidly squeezing them, making you squeal.

“Wahait. Wait!” You squeaked before bursting into airy giggles. “Hahahahah! Wahahahait peheheter!”

“I can’t believe you said that y/n! That is a punishable offense!” He teased, clawing his hands into the middle of your belly. You arched your back and let out loud belly laughter. “Uh uh! Get back here!” He chuckled, grabbing the back of your thigh and pulling you closer to him when you tried to roll away.

“Nahahaha! Dohohohont! Plehehehease!” You squealed while peter up from his side and sat on his knees, towering over you.

“You know, since we’re calling back special moments from our relationship, I also remember the time I found out how ticklish you were!” He said before digging both hands into your ribs. You screamed, convulsing in laughter as you wiggled around side to side trying to evade his evil hands.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAHAHANT BREHEHEATHE!” Your laughter was turning hoarse from all of your violent laughter. “PLEHEHEASE LET ME GOHOHO!”

Peter hummed, pausing his attack, giving you a chance to breathe and pretended to think for a moment. “Depends. Are you sorry for making fun of me y/n?” He asked, smirking, not leaving a chance for you to answer before blowing a big, fat, slobbery raspberry on your belly.

You screamed loudly, sure that the neighbors could hear you screaming bloody murder, before slipping into silent laughter. Peter smirked and gave you a few seconds to breathe before speaking up again. “So y/n, you didn’t really answer my question,” he slipped his finger in your belly button making you yelp before dissolving into desperate laughter. “Are you sorry for making fun of me?”

Despite the incredibly tickly feeling, you gathered enough strength to suck in a deep breath before yelling. “YEHEHES! IHIHIM SOHOHORRY!” 

Peter chuckled but let you go, watching as you panted to normal. Your hair was a mess, your shirt was risen and you were both a bit sweaty from the lack of ventilation in your blanket fort.

When you got yourself together, you layed back down next to Peter who enveloped you in a tight hug on top of his chest. “I was just teasing you Pete. I really wouldn’t change a thing about that day. In fact, I love your sweaty hands.” You smiled. Peter laughed and rubbed your back comfortingly.

“More than lasagna?” He teased, smiling down at you.

You though for a moment before nodding. “More that lasagna.” Peter smiled and kissed your head sweetly.

“Happy anniversary y/n/n. I love you.” You closed your eyes and sighed happily.

“I love you too, Pete. So much.” You both layed there, exhausted, just listening to the background noise of the movie playing from the laptop. Eventually you both fell asleep in each other’s arms, grateful for this perfect day.

At around 11:20, May came home from a nice dinner with some friends from work, wanting to give you and Peter some alone time on your special day, and peeked into Peter’s room, smiling at your peaceful sleeping bodies and the big blanket fort you guys had built. She closed the door as silently as she could and retreated to her bedroom to get some rest.

On entering, she noticed a small sticky note on her bed. She read the note with a smile.

“Thanks for the help with the lasagna. I know you worked really hard on it. She loved it. We had a great night and a lot of it is thanks to you. Love you May :)”

-Peter

[strawnarrries]

Lover - part 3

You and Niall finally plan your first official date, but what happens when someone t-bones you all on the way to the restaurant? 

Trigger warning: car crash! 

hello everyone! here is the part 3 you’ve all been waiting for! i kinda gave away the ending just now but car crashes are very serious and i would never want to trigger or offend anyone so i figured it was best to have the warning just in case! its definitely not graphic at all, just a short description of what happened, but it still deserves the warning because the topic can be sensitive to some. but thank you for reading and lmk what you think! enjoy! //

The second you heard your phone ding, you immediately jumped up from the couch and grabbed your phone from the coffee table. Taking a look at the screen, you saw that Niall had finally texted you. A huge grin spread across your lips and you began to feel giddy with excitement. 

After the incident, you didn’t want to text him first. You decided to wait until he texted you. After all, you were the first one to confess your feelings and you didn’t want to seem clingy. Even though he was your best friend and had known you for years, the circumstances were different now. It was a little past noon when you got the text and you would be lying if you said you weren’t waiting all morning for his name to pop up on your screen.

The text read, Hey what are ya doing ? 

You replied with, Nothing, just watching netflix 

Can we facetime? 

Sure!

Not long after, his name popped up at the top of your screen, the silly profile picture you chose for his contact filling the rest of your screen. You clicked the accept button right away, impatiently waiting for it to load. His beautiful face soon appeared on the screen and you smiled, "Hey."

"Hey, how are ya?" he asked sweetly, showing you his pearly whites.

You could tell by the background that he had sat his phone against something on his coffee table in the living room. He was sitting on his big, creme colored couch, his black, 8-chaired dining table sitting behind him. The big windows showed off beautiful view of his backyard. The light from them making it hard to see him clearly. The small droplets of sprinkled rain that fell from the light grey clouds in the blue sky painted the glass. You smiled, “Good, thank you, how are you?”

"'m good." he smiled. 

You guys talked for a little bit, laughing at stupid things each other said, the usual things you all would talk about. But once the conversation started to die down, he brought up the big question, "So, are we goin' out sometime or ya change yer mind?"

You giggled, "No, I'm up for it as long as you still wanna try it out." 

"Alrighty, well where do ya wanna go?" he asked. 

"I'm good with anything honestly, we could go get food, or we could go do something fun like bowling, or go t' like a drive-in movie," you hummed, throwing out a bunch of ideas.

"I'll do whatever. Yer da woman, you decide." 

You rolled your eyes at him playfully because you know he knows how much you hate making group decisions like this, but you kept throwing out ideas, hoping that one would catch his attention and he'd choose.

"We could go putt-putting," you suggested.

"Y/N, ya know I suck at that," he replied, “I hate the clubs they give ya.”

"Yeah, that's why I wanna go, so I can beat you." 

"I can't fuckin' stand ya," he giggled at you, shaking his head disapprovingly. 

You chuckled back and there was a couple of minutes of silence before he spoke up again, "Ooh, how 'bout we go t' dat new brunch place in da city, know ya mentioned wantin' t' try dat."

"Oh, that's right! I forgot that had finally opened. Yeah, let's do that!" 

"Okay, I've got a bunch of promo t' do fer me new single dis week, but 'm good dis weekend," he told you and you felt your heart beating out of your chest because you couldn't believe this was actually happening, but you were so happy that it was.

"I can do this weekend," you nodded.

"Okay, Saturday?" 

"Perfect. What time?" 

“Mmm, I dunno yet. Can we figure that out later in the week?” he asked. 

“Yeah, of course!” 

“Kay, good.” 

“I’m excited.” you smiled, feeling all giddy and tingly inside. 

“Me too.” 

The call ended soon after that and the moment your home screen popped up again and he was off the call, you squealed happily, butterflies flying around in your tummy. You couldn't wait. You had dreamed off this day ever since you and Niall had started becoming friends. You never really thought it would actually happen, but now that it was, you couldn't be more happy.

***

Beep, beep, beep. You woke up to the blaring sound of your alarm, internally groaning. You had set it for early that morning to give yourself plenty of time to get ready for your date. You were tired from a long, stressful week at work and really just wanted to sleep in, but you were still super excited for your hot date. The other day, you all made reservations at the cute brunch place for 11:30, so he was going to pick you up at 11:15, giving you plenty of travel time. So after clicking snooze a couple of times, you eventually decided it was time to wake up. After scrolling through your phone and catching up on your social media, it was about 9:15 when you got up out of bed to start making yourself look pretty for Niall. You definitely didn’t need 2 hours to get ready for a little brunch date with Niall, but you were excited and wanted to make sure you had plenty of time to do everything you wanted to do.

You walked into your bathroom, turning on the shower and your current favorite playlist. You began to get undressed before hopping in the shower and beginning to clean yourself up. You were never one to shower in the mornings, you always preferred to shower at night, but today was special to you and you wanted to smell super fresh for Niall. Even though he was your best friend and had seen you at some of your worsts, you still wanted to impress him. After washing up, you quickly shaved your everything before turning the water off and wrapping yourself in a big, fluffy towel. After drying off your body, you wrapped your hair up with the towel. You slipped on your bathrobe and laid down in bed again, letting the towel soak up the dripping strands of your hair as you turned on the TV and scrolled through your phone again.

After about 10 minutes, you got up and hung the wet towel out to dry. You turned your playlist back on and began to get ready, brushing and blow-drying your hair before putting on light makeup. You quickly brushed your teeth and swished some mouthwash before you heard your doorbell ring. You ran to the door and unlocked it, opening it to reveal Niall, looking as handsome as ever. 

He wasn’t dressed too fancy since we were only going to a brunch restaurant in the city, but he also didn’t look like he just rolled out of bed. He dressed causal, wearing a plain white tshirt with the sleeves rolled up a couple a times. He paired it with light, navy blue khaki shorts and slipped on some white Reebok sneakers. His white apple watch adorned his wrist and he had his gold earring in, complimenting his face perfectly. His black Ray-Bans covered his eyes and his hair was styled slightly messy, but so sexy. 

"Hey, imma little early," he smiled and you allowed him to walk in while he slipped his sunglasses off his face and slipped one of the arms of the glasses past the collar of his shirt to hang so he didn’t have to hold them. 

"That's okay," you giggled, "Why didn't ya just walk in?"

Since you both are super close, you have a key to each other's houses and whenever you plan to go over, you both can easily just walk in without a care. 

"I mean, I dunno, 's a date, right?" he chuckled softly, a light shade of pink arising on the apples of his cheeks.

"We're still best friends, this doesn't havta be awkward," you giggled. 

"Yeah, I know, still wanna make it proper though, I mean if we're actually tryin' dis out I wanna like treat it like it's da beginnin'."

"Okay?" you narrowed your eyes at him, "well, hi, I'm (Y/N)."

Rolling his eyes playing, he grinned at you, "Yer so annoyin'." 

You giggled back before humming, "I just need t' get dressed, then we can leave." 

"Sounds good," he replied. 

You went back to your room and went into your closet, picking out a cute, pink shirt and pairing it with a cute pair of ripped, jean shorts. You quickly put on some deodorant and sprayed on your favorite perfume. You put in some fake diamond earrings and ruffled with your hair real quick before calling it a day, happy with your appearance. You slipped on some cute, matching sandals before heading back to where he sat in your living room. 

"Okay, ready?" you grinned, walking towards the couch he was sitting on, scrolling through his phone. 

He looked up at you through his lashes, slipping his phone in his pocket and standing up, "Yeah." 

He began walking towards the front door while you grabbed your purse and slipped your phone into it. You followed him outside on the doorstep of your flat. You locked the door behind you and you both made your way down the flight of stairs to the parking lot. He lead the way towards his black Range Rover that sat in front of your building complex. He took out his keys and he got into the driver's seat while you hopped into the passenger side. He pulled out of the parking spot and began the journey to the fancy brunch place downtown. The radio was on low as you both spoke, talking about anything and everything. 

You were mid-conversation when it happened.

"Didn't she have a s - oh my god," you gasped deeply. 

You felt your heart drop to your stomach, mentally preparing to come face to face with Jesus Himself as Niall slams on the breaks, a string of profanities leaving his lips. The tires screeched and you felt the car lunge forward as it slammed into the side of the other car. Your bodies were thrown forward into the airbags and you were in complete shock. A sharp pain struck in both your knees when they slammed against the dashboard in front of you. It all happened so fast, you hadn't even processed what happened yet until you heard Niall yell in pain...

"Fuckin' hell!! Me ankle!"

[maribatz-2k]

A Blind Meeting

Chapter 8

03/28/2020

Finally got the chapter written! Sorry it took me two months to unblock my writers block.

🦇🐞🦇🐞🦇🐞🦇🐞

Teeks, Noir, and I finished with the civilians before running out to the street to see what was going on. From what I could tell Joker was winning. Shocker. I thought as I looked to Teeks and Noir.

"Should we give them a hand?" Teeks smiled then Noir, like always, was first to go. Teeks followed as I walked over analyzing the situation. I spotted Noir jump on top of the Joker's henchman knocking him into second one with all his force then jump to the next until he was caught by the funny man himself.

"You brought a kitty to fight for you Batsy, that's funny." He laughed hard at the tied up man. Joker lifted Noir up to his nose and seemed to be debating on what to do with him.

"You know, it's wrong to pick on children Joker." I spouted smiling at him. Teeks and I stood on top of his vehicle of choice with my arms crossed staring down at him. I heard Robin give a "hey" before a groan from being hit by Batman's foot. "I'd like my companion back please." I asked.

"Who are you? You know what I don't care go play superhero some where else kid." He tossed Noir at me then turned his attention back to the birds. Teeks caught Noir in the air and settle him down on her back. Annoyed by the man and time constraint I throw my yo-yo at Joker's arm yanking him back toward me like a spinning top and have him stand in front of me. I won't lie, I'm glad to be standing on something tall because I can lean over him to see his face perfectly.

"I'm Ladybug and you should have a seat." I twitch my wrist then gave him a swift kick as my yo-yo unwound him down to the ground and sat him down dizzy. Teeks walked over to the Batman untying his bindings as Noir untied Robin. "Good work Captain and Black Fang. I'll leave him to you two Batman." I pointed to the now knocked out Joker as I spoke. I felt something under my foot and leaned down to pick it up. It has sharp edges and is shaped as a bat.

"I'll take that back." Batman said his voice gruff and tired. I challenged it with a smile.

"I think I'll keep it. See you around Bat." My voice was stern and tired. The three of us jumped up to the roof and ran off back to the apartment.

The next following morning I cleaned up and made a big breakfast for everyone. The night felt like more of a dream until someone turned the news on and the details of my suit was said through the screen.

"Woohoo! You kicked butt last night!" Kaalki cheered and zipped around the living room followed by Ziggy and Xuppu. I just laughed before sipping my coffee.

"I know right? 'I'm Ladybug and you should have a seat.' That was gold Bug." Plagg said cheerfully.

"Oh geez Plagg it was nothing. Come on eat your breakfast. I won't be feeding you again until just before dinner." I teased as I started cooking eggs and bacon for myself.

The day went by pretty fast between small amounts of customers and working on my new outfit in the parlor. I was just about finished when Tikki nudged me along the cheek that it was an hour 'til Commissioner Gordon showed up. With a smile along my face I finished up the little detail and got ready.

An hour has passed as Teeks and I waited in the bakery cleaning up the final items of the day. The bell chimed and Teeks gave a quick bark was heard over the running water.

"Hello. I'm sorry but I'm closing early today." I called out from the kitchen expecting to hear the door.

"That's a shame, I thought I'd pick up a pretty lady for a date." Jim Gordon said. A smile crept up on my lips and I quickly dried off my hands. Hurrying out to him. "Nice outfit the apron definitely gives it a homey feel." He gave a small chuckle as he smiled.

"Jokes now hm." I gave a smile with a light laugh as I removed the apron, tossing it into the kitchen then grabbed Teeks leash. "Hope you don't mind I bring Teeks."

"Not at all. Where we are going is really pretty and companion friendly." Jim offered me his hand, leading me out the door to his car. "Don't need to lock your door?"

"No sir, it's automatic." I said then pet Teeks as she stuck her head into the middle of the car.

We arrived to our destination a lot quicker than expected. Time flies when you have a lot to talk about it seems. A valet opened my door for me as Jim held his hand out once again helping me up onto the step then Teeks followed behind me holding her leash in her mouth waiting. Jim picked it up from her and handed it to me, leading me through the entrance to the host.

"Welcome to Le Renard Roux, reservations?" The hostess asked in her sweet voice. The name sounded familiar but I couldn't quite pin it down.

"Yes ma'am, a table for three under Gordon." Jim said. He seemed kind of nervous but I was too. After all my last date didn't go very well. The hostess checked through her list then lead us to an elevator taking us up to the second floor. The feeling of cool air felt nice followed by the scent of flowers and candles. The sound of people chattering around us making me more aware that we aren't alone. Our table is close to the terrace engulfed by the smell of purple Wisterias and Ipomoea Alba.

"Your waiter will be right with you. Please enjoy." The hostess said then walked off. Commissioner Gordon pulls my seat back a bit for me to sit down then gently scooted it back toward the table allowing me the perfect spot to "see the view". Teeks sat beside me on my left unseen by others unless looked for. As I listened to Gordon sitting down, I put placed the silk napkin on my lap and smiled.

"So, Monsieur Jim, why did you choose the Red Fox?" I asked leaning forward on the table, resting my chin on top of my interlocked hands.

"I figured you might want a little reminisce of home." He gave me a smile with his words reaching out to touch my hand. The waiter came over, pouring us red wine, then took our order. We spent most of the evening talking about my college days and why I chose to live in Gotham. The evening was going great until Bruce crashed it. Jim had gotten up to take an important phone call when Bruce walked up to our table.

"Ms. Dupain-Cheng are you having dinner alone?" He sounded concern and inviting at the same time. Teeks tail wagged a bit when he spoke, but I refuse to give him an interested response.

"Actually no, I'm here on a date. He stepped out for a call. What brings you here Monsieur Wayne." If my tone was either not clear enough to show I didn't want to see him then he purposely ignored me. He dat down in Jim's spot and asked our waiter for a new cup for wine.

"I saw you sitting alone on my way up here to meet with a client and wanted to be sure you are alright." Some reason his voice sounded sad but he tried to cover it up with his over confidence. "Ah thank you sir." The sound of our wine being poured into a glass made me unsettled. I straighten my back more as I face him directly giving him what I hope was a glare.

"I don't believe I invited you to sit down. I'm sure your client will be worried you missed their meeting." As much as I wanted to apologize to him for the night at the gala, he is making it difficult to feel apologetic by interrupting my date. I was about to say something else when Commissioner Gordon stepped up.

"I'm sorry about that Marinette. It seems I need to take you home. Oh hello Bruce." He had turned his attention slightly to the man in his seat. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Monsieur Wayne said he would pay our bill. Shall we get back so you can get to work?" I stood up taking Teeks leash and then held onto Jim's forearm. We left before Bruce could say anything and headed back to my bakery. Jim let me out, leading me to the door then left placing a light kiss on my cheek. His car roared him down to the precinct and I stepped inside locking the door and head up to my apartment. Plagg and Trixx had the tv on by the time I entered my apartment.

"I guess we don't get a break tonight." I asked listening to the reporter proclaiming that Mr. Freeze was out at the Biolab outside of Joker's territory with Harvey Dent also known as Two Face. "Plagg you, Trixx, and me tonight?" With a happy cheer I transformed with Plagg and fused with Trixx as Noir and Teeks transformed with Nororo and Dessu.

🦇🐞🦇🐞🦇🐞🦇🐞

@fsketchart @northernbluetongue @fertileleaf @jardimazul @marinettepotterandplagg @rosep16 @miraculousdisapointment @queenmj10 @jingleallthelay

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Mount Everest Ain't Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem!reader, part 8.)

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you’ll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like the scary example of what will happen when you don’t obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

A/N: x

Warnings: Nate being fucking Nate, man.

Word Count: 2.9 K

Read the rest here, babe:  PART 1  PART 2  PART 3  PART 4  PART 5  PART 6  PART 7

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

Anything in your life does not come because you fucking want it to come. There is no way to go around things you need to go through. Some things need you to be patient.

Did Bill Gates or Steve Jobs have their fortune after the first night they dropped out of school? Did Leonardo DiCaprio win an Oscar for Titanic the movie? Did your teacher become a teacher just like that? Did your mom tell herself that her child a failure after the first time you fell off a bike?

If you answered no to all of the previous questions and you’re completely clueless about what they mean? That means that all of those people had a shit ton of patience. That's a thing you need to remember. You need to have patience before you can actually archive something. And relationships are a thing you need to be extremely patient about.

So saying that Fez was something like your boyfriend for the first two months was too much. He wasn't.

It had all the classifications of a relationship, yet you answered a simple 'no' when somebody asked if you're taken.

You thought about him intensely, sometimes you tend to daydream and you were definitely looking forward to every minute you could spend together, you were excited about every date in the evening, but you remained more friends-with-benefits than actually in a relationship.

Fez seemed to be a free-minded guy. So free-minded that

You liked each other. A lot. Kissing was just your every hang out classic. The whole party thing was still in the public subconsciousness, but other things have happened in the meantime. Some girl from juniors class was pregnant, another was beaten up by her very own dad. You and Fez weren't that important.

But because you've been patient, it paid off pretty well. One day, when you were hanging out at Fezco's shop with Kat and Ash, sipping some fresh, ice-cold soda on the counter of the shop, a big boy came inside.

He was big and his face was known to you. That was Nate Jacobs, Maddy's boyfriend and probably the most feared boy in the hood. He wasn't pleasant to be around at all from what you heard.

"Hey, the small one." - He came to the counter slowly, putting the soda down in front of Ash. Nate looked at you and grinned at you in a weird manner. - "This, some rolling paper and Marlboros. The red ones."

"Dat all?" - Ash asked with an unfriendly face. So everyone has heard about this guy, you noted.

"Yep. And who are you, hm?" - Nate leaned into the counter, looking you in the eyes. He noticed your skin - smooth, perfect and almost without hair on it. Your face was small and cute. Be would be able to have something with you if you would like to. And he was thinking about at the very moment.

Which wasn't the best choice if you ask me.

"I'm Y/N. Your classmate. We have... Spanish and bio together. Thanks for noticing." - You chuckled and sipped some soda. You looked him in the face just as his eyes slowly darkened. The atmosphere was slowly getting more and more uncomfortable.

"Yeah. I'll remember it the next time. Are you single or not? Just for research purposes, of course." - Nate had his predator look on and watched you sitting on the countertop with your knees crossed.

"Nate, if I were you, I wouldn't ask that stuff." - Kat tried to shake it off, but there was Nate's hand on your knee all of a sudden. Just as you shook it off with the disgusted face, the bell next to the door rang loudly. And the blood in your veins froze because it was Fezco the man himself.

You were supposed to go to the cinema together, that's why you were waiting for him in his shop.

"What da fuck man? What ya think ya doin' here?" - Fezco slowly approached you with a look of a murderer. He was looking Nathan up and down and you somehow felt that Fez is just seconds away from snapping. Which was something you thought you'll never be able to see?

That flattered you as anything Fez ever did before.

"I'm just talking here with Y/N. What's your deal? I'm shopping. I'm a daily customer." - Nate winked at you and put cash on the counter, taking all of the things.

"He tried somethin' on ya?" - Fez looked at you and you got off the counter, standing directly between him and Nate. You wiggled your head, saying no. But Fez turned his stare on Nate. - "Ya fuckin' tried somethin' on her? Huh?" - Fez was ready to strangle Nate at the very moment.

"Calm down, Fezco. You know that you shouldn't play with big, smart boys, right?" - Nate chuckled, ready to leave - but just as he was passing you and Fez, with you holding Fezco's chest with your palms, Fezco's palm tightened around Nate's wrist so much that Fez's knuckles became white.

"I'll tell ya just like dat. Ya try somethin' on ma girl, on Rue or her friends and I'll find ya and I'll kill ya. Ya understand?" - Fezco said slowly with a cold voice. Nate just breathed out loudly, looking from his wrist to Fezco's face, dead in the eye.

"We're having this conversation again?" - You looked from Nate Fez, moving your hands from his chest to his waist and hip to move him closer to you, so you weren't so unsure about Fezco fucking up Nate in an instance. - "You're an idiot who has two functioning brain cells. One of them makes you able to roll a joint and the second one makes your dick hard. You shouldn't be playing with boys who are better for the ladies than you are."

"Okay, Nate. I think it's time to leave." - Kat stood up from the corner and you felt as Fezco's body tensed under your hands.

"You should go. We don't want any problems here." - You gently grabbed Fezco's palm and took it out of Nate's wrist, gently and slowly entwining your fingers with his.

"You're both losers. Have it your way." - Nate chuckled and then finally left the shop. Fezco was watching him walking to his car, but you gazed into his eyes with a smile full of love.

"Hey, big guy." - You whispered to gain his attention. It worked only partially - you could feel the grip on your fingers is still tight.

"Hey." - He mumbled quietly, leaning forward to kiss you. The kisses were sweet. Fezco was a good kisser. Even though other boys kissed you, every time he kissed you, you were left with a slight 'aw' on your lips, wishing he would kiss you again immediately.

"Did you mean it? Huh?" - You teased him a bit, but you knew that he's lost in what you mean. - "Your girl. I am your girl? I think you forgot to tell me."

"I said dat?" - He wondered with a slight smile. You nodded, circling your elbows around the back of his neck tightly. - "Then dat's da true, I guess. I dunno."

"You don't know? Show me then, I'll tell you." - Your fingers slowly ghosted under his neck, grabbed the upper hem of his shirt and circled around it to lower his lips to yours.

You already acted girlfriend-boyfriend way around your friends like Rue or for example Ash, so you knew that the actions won't be too different - a lot of kissing, making Fez secretly come to your chilling Netflix nights to cuddle you a bit, some sweet texts ending with hearts, a lot of sweet stuff.

Fezco maybe wasn't the smartest, he truly wasn't, he was doing a lot of grammatic errors and sometimes you didn't even know what he was trying to say. But he always put you in the first place, even when he wasn't in the best mood or wasn't really feeling it, he never was mean or ugly to you.

Never fucking ever he said anything mean to you. He could just sometimes space out completely. That was really Fezco like, not being bad to others.

But this was about the official state of your love and romantic life. Until that moment you were simply single. Just you. But from that moment, it was you and him, now officially together. Everyone will know about you the next week, again. Everybody will talk about it the next two days again.

"Are ya ready for dat cinema, or what?" - The miss stopped all of a sudden, which made you open up your eyes again. You slowly looked around and saw that Kat and Ash ignored for at least the five last minutes.

"Yeah, I think we should go." - You walked in a dancing way to the counter, taking your bag and your soda from Ash.

"Y'all be watchin' everythin' while I'm gone, ya understand?" - Fez pointed his finger in Ashtray's direction and the small boy, still chewing on a piece of wood. Ash rolled his eyes and nodded. Fez was really the pain in the ass sometimes, especially when he was leaving his shop by your side and gave Ash the instructions.

"We should be on our way or we'll not make it on time. Come on. Ash can it himself." - You winked at Ash, taking Fezco's shoulder to your hand. - "Plus, he's got Kat here. They can make it until the closing hours, which is like... Two hours from now. Come." - You took his hand because you had the feeling that you actually can, and entwined fingers with him tightly. His blue eyes were still cautiously watching Ash, but this time, he was smiling at the little boy.

"See ya at home, pal." - Fezco nodded to Ash and winked at him as he leads you out of the store. You and Fez tried to talk a lot, but to you, you rarely talked about the important stuff.

You truly didn't know what to do about that - you refused to make him talk. That wasn't your style. You wanted him to talk about his secrets. Who was Ash? How did the two get together? What was at the back of his damn flat that you weren't allowed to go there? He still didn't tell you what he was doing for a living - yeah, he and Ash worked in a store, but you weren't exactly dumb and you knew that a little something isn't completely adding up.

There was a lot Fez didn't tell you not ever asked you about. He actually never asked you about your hometown, never acknowledged you had a sis or asked you about your family.

But you hoped that being different from that moment. That was something new for the both of you, you were nervous to figure it out. Or at least you hoped that he officially thinks about all of it the same way you did.

The evening was gone before you actually could enjoy it, just like everyone you could spend along Fezco. As always, he took you home in his car and parked a block away from your house. You sat in the car for the next five minutes in complete silence, because you already finished your rant about the movie ten minutes ago and Fez was only grinning on the ground in front of the car.

"Do you want to go already?" - You whispered and undid your seatbelt and took his hand in the dark, quiet car. His second hand was playing with a joint as he watched the lamps in front of the car.

"Ya know I don't wanna. Need to tho, baby." - He pressed his fingers around your hand holding his.

"I want to cuddle with you today. You know. To make it special at least a little bit, nothing too big but..." - You started in a quiet, somehow flat tone of your voice but Fezco somehow felt you're begging him in the most gentle way you could.

"It ain't much but it's all to ya, huh?" - You felt as his eyes watched the profile of your face with a gentle smile on your lips. You nodded. But Fezco chuckled in response. - "Think we don't have enough space up 'ere."

"Maybe we can try slight trespassing tonight?" - You felt more courageous than before. He was same in acts, but thoughts had suddenly and strangely deeper meaning for you. You wanted to touch him and kiss him, but you wanted to know him better as well.

One thing you've needed to say was... That you and your natures got along pretty well. You were capable of doing hundreds of jokes, smile the whole night. Those bullshit talks? You two were the ideal couple for that. But you were more afraid and curious about those deep, late-night conversations with him.

"Like..."

"Like you could crawl in through my window and just... Stay with me for a bit? Just for a while, or if you're not feeling this..." - You stuttered a bit and your cheeks reddened. Fezco could feel clearly as your palms got sweatier than before a few secs.

"Calm down, jeez. Okay then. If ya wanna, we'll cuddle. No prob." - He leaned down to kiss you and your heart jumped a bit with happiness.

"So, I'll go home now, greet my parents, lock my door and then see you at the window then?" - You started to get off the car with a bright smile. Fezco just nodded; you gave him more than enough time to have a joint outside the house.

That evening, your mom really wanted to talk. She was making those small-talks, laughing and asking you a million questions. You would love to sit there with her, but you were all nervous about Fez waiting outside for you, so you basically made a home run for it as soon as you could and as soon as you brushed your teeth and changed into some more comfortable home clothes - some tight shorts and the t-shirt he gave you.

Then you let him in, after reassuring that the door is locked.

"Hey, baby boy. You're waiting too long?" - You smiled at him and let him in, all careful and whispering. He crawled into your room without any bigger problem.

"Not too long." - He began to undress out of his hoodie and put his shoes down, watching as your body slowly disappeared under the blanket, inviting him next to you. Fezco smelled like weed, once again, just as you were used to. It felt natural to close your eyes, put your temple on his chest and hug his waist even when it was for the first time you were touching him when you two were... Alone.

"Ya smell so nice, baby. Need to smell ya more often." - Fezco hugged you firmly, shoving his nose right into the waves of your hair.

"I hope you will." - You giggled quietly. - "So, if you want us to be a couple?" - You got your head up and looked him to the face before you continued.

"Yeah. I guess so." - He closed his eyes while you drew some circles on his hips and ribs.

"I want to know you better. We'll start simply. Like... What do you even like? I know you just like the boy I like, but not here." - You pointed a finger at his heart. Your eyes appeared big and warm, which made him talk.

"Dat's what ya curious about? Alrite, I like when the weather is, ya know, a bit cold, but the wind is like all warm and shit. And to have my bros around. And spendin' some time with them. And I like dat chocolate candy with those nuts inside." - Fez whispered in his calming, deep voice. It radiated through his chest so much it made you close your eyes and drifting away. It also took a whole ass of time before he was finished. - "And I like ma girl a lot, but dat's kinda obvious."

"You're so sweet, baby." - You hummed in a half-asleep voice and hugged him tighter.

You didn't even notice when he left at eleven p.m., because he let you snuggle into his hoodie while he closed your window so you didn't feel cold at night.

It was a big step for Fez, even tho he was stoned, he felt that he's so nervous bevause of you. To pronounce you as his girlfriend was a thing he was really excited about, but also one which scared him to death. He knew that his responsibility around you will be enormous, just like the happiness you will be, and already have, bringing him. He wasn't meeting the best people and he saw how much it harmed Rue, and his girl couldn't end up the same.

You had a big heart of gold, mind much brighter than his, you were lovely and pure; so he felt the need to spare you from that dark side of him until he won't be able to hide it anymore. You deserved to be protected.

But at that moment, he just realized that you're a person he's glad to be around with. And that's what mattered in the end.

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 253-255

November 19-22 So I haven't updated the journal for another couple of days and I have little excuse except for busyness, but I will make up for it now by really half-assing the job so I can go to bed. That's the sort of quality I know you've all come to expect from 255 days of this Quarantine Journal, and I aim to deliver!  We are currently on our deeply unrecommended Thanksgiving trip, the one we've been mostly locked down for for the past two weeks in order to prepare for. I am a generally deeply rule-following eldest child personality, so doing something I know I'm being told not to causes me a lot of anxiety, even when I'm doing it in the best way possible. I have skipped basically everything I could get out of for the past two weeks just to minimize our chances of getting COVID and bringing it to my folks. Now we'll spend the next couple of weeks basically locked down with them in order to minimize our chances of taking COVID home with us. We will then spend a couple weeks at home as sort of an airlock quarantine period so when we go see MIL for the Christmas Season, we will no longer have germs from any of our previous travels on us. Swear to god, this vaccine can't go into circulation fast enough. I feel like we're measuring out our lives with coffee spoons.  Okay, so Friday was mostly preparing for the trip. Desert Bus for Hope wrapped up in the morning (9am EST, after a walloping 164 hours of driving and $987k raised for charity) so I didn't get a lot of sleep. This affected my productivity in the daytime, but I still managed to get the kitchen cleaned up and supervise packing activities. I packed up a dozen wrap sandwiches and large bags of chips, snacks, fruit and drinks so that we could minimize our contact with the world during our trip.  The plan immediately hit a snag Saturday morning when the truck would not start. This normally would not be a big problem because we were taking the minivan, but our truck was full of bags of garbage that our neighbors would be most displeased to see festering for two weeks. Our jumper box was not powerful enough to jolt it back to life, so we had to call roadside assistance. Towing guy not only did not wear a mask, he smoked nearly the entire time he was around so we had to stay way back from him, but he did get the truck going. Husband took the truck around the complex to let it run and deliver all the bags to the big dumpster while kiddo and I finished packing and locking up. We were on the road by 11, which was not great but could've been worse.  We drove to Dayton on the first day, our usual stopover point at about 9.5 hours into the drive. We stopped twice on the way, both at Loves stations because they always do a good job cleaning. We didn't buy anything, just in and out in the time it takes to use a bathroom. Most people were wearing masks. I was able to get us quite a nice deal on a one room suite with a sofabed in Dayton, and the room was nice and very clean. We still took a bottle of bleach cleaner and hit up all the high-touch surfaces, just in case. The hot water was copious and I enjoyed a nice bath before going to bed. We did not get any food that day, just ate what we brought with us.  I was woken up at just before 5am by the Red Cross, which means we all woke up because one-room suite. There was a fire in the nearby town to where we lived, and they needed a runner because the guy didn't have a phone. I told them that yes I'm on duty, but I'm only doing virtual intake. I arranged it with my partner A that he would run and I would do the computer stuff while I was gone. (It took two phone calls just for me to clarify that I could not run to Nearby Town because I was in fact in  Dayton.) A was not picking up his phone this morning so that was not great, but there wasn't much I could do. I clarified all this, hung up, went back to sleep, and was woken twenty minutes later to have the same conversation with another DAT supervisor. She was irritated that I hadn't told her about the arrangement A and I made, even when I told her that I cleared it with the DAT coordinator because apparently he has faffed off to California for the week. All I could do was shrug, because I'd asked for Thanksgiving week off ages ago and didn't get it, so I was doing my best.  Anyway, by the time I finished the call we were all awake, but we did manage to catch a little more sleep before it was time to get up for real. We cleaned up, dressed, and packed up the hotel room in very good time because we do it a lot and are experts. We were just about to leave when the Red Cross called again. I was about to be seriously irked until I realized this was legit a totally different event and apparently today is just a "things catch on fire" day. The unusual thing was that the building that caught fire was actually incredibly close to where we live, so close that I could've walked to the response if I weren't in, you know, Dayton. As it was though, we finally got hold of A to do the runs, so I wound up hotspotting my laptop to my phone, which I hadn't known I could do in a moving car until today, then did intake calls for this apartment building fire while Husband navigated us through an extremely rainy morning drive and my stomach severely rejected the Burger King breakfast we'd grabbed because the hotel had suspended its breakfast service. It was not the least stressful car ride I've ever had, but stuff got done.  We had to stop three times for the six hour drive today because my stomach was Extremely Sad About French Toast Sandwich, but each one was very short and careful. Once I stopped eating or drinking anything, my stomach and I were able to reach detente and we arrived at our destination around 3:30. By then we were super hungry, but that was okay because my folks were totally ready to feed us delicious hamburgers on the grill, fried parsnips, and cauliflower tots from the air fryer. It was all very delicious. Tomorrow is going to be an early day because kiddo's school starts at 9est, which is 8 in Illinois, and I have to make sure he's ready and that his internet is working. Knock on wood, because he'll be doing school like this for the next little while! 

[cathylemons-blog]

The Red Shoes

Where you walk will give you the eyes and ears for blues—and what you survive will give you the strength to translate it all to … anyone listening.

—Cathy Lemons

“Don’t think—just listen.”

Those were the words that ran through my head as I turned the corner inside the small bright shoe store … just a little ahead of my trick.  His name was appropriately called “John,” and he was obviously not going to let me out of his sight.  I was there to pick out a pair of dancing shoes—his gift.  He noticed that I wore only one pair night after night, and so he made this magnanimous offer—eyes gleaming.

“I wear a size 8, where are the sizes … here they are … oh these are nice!” (the routine).

“Why don’t you pick up several pairs,” asks John dear.

“Oh no, that would be too much.  I just need one pair—I want something elegant—a little flashy even—like these.”

I picked up a pair of red high heeled shoes and ran my hands along their smooth surface.  I could smell the new leather—high arch, long heel line, elegant tip—sleek. Like me.

I tried them on and they looked wonderful.

“What do you think?”

“Hmm … red shoes ... they look terrific—get 2 pairs—get the black ones too--go ahead—on me—no strings, really.”

“Well, I don’t know ….”

“Come on—it’s a small gift from me.  Go ahead and take them up to the cashier and I will pay for them.”

I did take them up—but only one pair—the red shoes--to the chubby woman behind the counter who promptly rang them up.  I watched carefully as she stuck the receipt inside one of the bags and handed them over to me from behind the counter top.

“Good choice—they look really great on you,” she said with a big approving smile.

“Do you think so?”  I didn’t wait for her answer.  I opened the glass door and walked out with John only a few steps behind me into the bright, blasting parking lot.  He touched my upper arm very slightly and guided me towards his car.

“I’ll take you home now.  Will Deirdre and I see you at the club tonight?”

“Yes, I have to work,” I said trying not to look thoroughly depressed with that horrific prospect.

He smiled his gray, lifeless smile.  “Fine.”

We drove down the crowded freeways and by ways, ramps and endlessly long and flat thoroughfares of Dallas.  Every tree looked scorched from the sun—dry and dazzled, hanging off center, leaves brownish green.   Even the neat rows of endless suburban houses fell victim to that bright, merciless, pounding, malignant, never weakening, all encompassing grip of the sun.

We passed through drug territory—West Dallas—“Mexican Town” my drug territory.  I could just smell the chiva and see the little tin foiled papers in my hand.  My stomach tightened.  I only turned and smiled at my trick and with genuine concern said, “Are you sure this was not too much to ask—you giving me a ride home, plus the shoes?  I think I should pay you back—I’d feel more comfortable.  That way I won’t feel so bad.”

“Feel bad—why would you feel bad?”

“Oh … I don’t know—I suppose I like to think I am self-sufficient.  And after all—I hardly know you or Deirdre.”

He said with a strange sort of sideways glance, “OK—if you want to pay me back, you can.”

I could feel him watching me now, measuring me, studying my hands and arms, looking for telltale tracks, scars, repeating his study already made, again, quietly, subtly.  He wasn’t sure at all about me.  I had him—he did not have me—not yet, although that was indeed trying to scent out the game.

We pulled up in front of the hotel.  Paint was peeling off the small door—cottage #7.  For good luck.

“Thank you so much John.”

“It’s really nothing—you know.  But I do want to talk to you some more about your singing career.  I was really surprised by that tape—what was that guitar player’s name?  Anson Thunderbird? You know you have a REAL voice.  I could help you make a great deal of money—but you have to trust me.  You know?  And Diedre really likes you.  She’s a smart girl Diedre.

“Oh ya, she’s smart all right.  She has a pimp that’s 5 foot 2 who looks like he just dug his own grave and has lived in Illinois forever--where there’s no fucking sun—AND he handles ALL her money,” I thought.

I stretched my back and arms out a bit and smiled at him.  “I gotta get ready for work now.  Thank you so much John for everything—and sure.  We can talk some more.”

“OK.”  He nodded and turned towards the car. I watched his white, weird, Chinese looking high collared shirt.

I waited until he pulled out of the motel driveway.

Then I scrambled for the bag and the receipt.

…

One night after I finished my “dance” Diedre came up to me and said in an iron skillet toned voice—the kind that rings wrong—“Jaahn wants to know why you aren’t wearing the red shoes.”

“I just haven’t thought of it—that’s all.  I’ll wear ‘em.

She looked at me and handed me a small white piece of paper.  “Jaahn wants you to call him—says it’s important”.

“Sure, sure.”  I walked away with my dress hanging from my bare shoulder.  And I threw the paper on the floor.

…

I had to change clubs to dance in.  I had pissed off the owner of Geno’s.  I had been given a gift—a blue satin jacket—a sports jacket—but it looked sexy and good with my blue eyes.  And the owner liked to see me wear it with my jeans.  Well I sold it to Cathy—that is the other Cathy.  For $15.00 because I didn’t have enough to get myself and my partner well—not both of us.

So—the owner guy found out—nodded his head and looked at me with disgust.  Not his favored girl anymore.

I got so tired then—like the bottom was going to spill out from under me.  The only way I could keep going was to stay high—high on speed, high on coke, high on heroine.  But it was the heroine that worked best for me—took the crawl out of my stomach—took the fear out of my gut.

…

I was working at the new club now and had managed to keep on top of the motel bill and the heroine bill—the rest was just fluff.  I was losing a lot of weight—not good for the breasts. I checked myself in the mirror—a sequined G-sting—beautiful strong legs—my breasts still stood up—I smiled—applied my lipstick.

…

Then I had a bad day.  I had a very bad day.  I could not get enough money to get well.  It was so damn hot—and it was the end of September.  I was at a pay phone when two guys in a pickup truck approached me.  I had on a short sequined white sweater and my belly button was showing.  They stared at my beautiful belly.

“Say—can you tell us where—we—you know—uh—can you help us get some coke?”

I squinted up at one of them.  I couldn’t believe it—a dream come true.

…

I was inside the Mexican dealer’s house –the cool dark wooden box—hiding under the window sill watching for the white truck.  The dealer had ripped me off and sold me mostly cut.  I never got well.

“You know—theez is not so gooood—you can get hurd lieek dat.  Man oh man.  You gotta get outta heah.”

“Yes.  Yes.”  I kept watching the street.

….

I was dancing on the front stage when John walked into the new club and headed straight for me—stood in front of me—looked up at me.

“I have been trying to contact you for 7 days now.  Diedre says she gave you my number.  Now I am giving you my number and I want you to call me tomorrow.  I want the money back for the red shoes or else I wanna see the shoes.”

I looked down at the short pimp trick.  He made me sick.  He turned his back and I immediately threw the piece of paper onto the stage floor and kicked it.

Fuck him.

…

I had missed 2 days of work.  The 2 guys in the white truck were looking for me. I did a no show and then showed up for my check.  My time was up.  I knew that.

And then in comes Cathy all pissed off.

Back in the long hall of the dressing room with half dressed girls everywhere in there little booths I was tweaking away with my legs propped up high on the artificial wall.

And Cathy knocks my legs down and screams “What the fuck did you do? Some guys came in here last night—and they thought I was you and they dragged me by the hair and tried to pull me into the parking lot.  And if it wasn’t for Bob I don’t know what I would a done.  And then they crashed into a bunch of cars on their way out—messed up the night for everybody—nobody made any damn money, Cathy!  Nobody!

I stood up and smiled, shrugged my shoulders and said …

“Red shoes.”

The End (but not for me!)