#and it takes her a while to start talking afterwards. but she's very smart so when she eventually does she has a lot to say

[cacw]

[mcdynamite]

CWs: discussions of sexuality (particularly demisexuality, though Steve and Eddie don’t know a term for it at the time), VERY mild sexual context

Steve Harrington has had a lot of sex.

He's not, like, trying to brag about it, or anything. Frankly, he's not even sure it's something he would want to brag about in the first place. It's just an objective fact.

The sky is blue. The Earth is round. Water is wet.

And Steve Harrington has had a lot of sex.

Which is...well, a little bit bizarre, considering the fact that he's not entirely convinced he actually enjoys it most of the time.

At first, he chalks it up to inexperience. Everyone's first times were a little bit awkward, weren't they? Maybe everyone felt weird and a little bit off-kilter the first time someone touched them like that. Maybe everyone felt icky for hours afterwards, like something was just off. Steve had spent his childhood going to church on Sundays (at least, until he turned 10, and Richard and Susan decided he no longer needed luxuries like parents), so maybe it was just guilt.

That was a thing, right? Catholic guilt, or whatever? He'll get over it. He's sure of it.

Only...he's less sure of it several months later, when he still can't get rid of that stupid icky feeling, and he can never quite grasp what Tommy is talking about whenever the dude starts obsessing over wanting to fuck some pretty actress in whatever movie they’re watching. When he’s with a girl, he feels anxious the moment clothes start to come off, despite the fact that he wants this. He wants to have sex. He wants someone to touch him and make him feel good. He wants to do the same for someone else. But it always feels wrong.

The only part he really likes is what comes after, when he can wrap his arms around whatever girl he's with that week and just hold her - no more sex required, now that it's over and done with. That part feels good. Amazing, even. He loves having someone to cuddle up with - to make him feel less alone in his fucking mausoleum of a house. It's nice. It feels good.

He's pretty sure it's the only reason he keeps having sex in the first place. It's like a transaction. Steve gets the girls off, and in exchange, they stick around for a little while afterwards to fill the echoing silence of Steve's house with soft laughter and quiet words.

And sure...sometimes Steve sort of falls apart after they leave to get home before their curfews. Usually, it just leaves him feeling squirmy and anxious. But sometimes, when it's especially bad, Steve sits on the floor of the shower with his arms around his knees for ages and cries until the water gets cold, unable to wash the icky feeling away.

He knows he should stop doing this to himself, but God, he's so fucking lonely, and now he's made a reputation for himself. Now there are expectations, and if Steve has learned one thing from Richard Harrington, it's that living up to expectations is the most important thing in life.

So he keeps doing it. His technique gets better, despite how wrong he feels, and the girls keep coming. And Steve keeps wondering what the fuck is wrong with him - why he feels physically pleasured enough to come most of the time, but always hates himself afterwards.

Then, at the beginning of his junior year, he starts dating Nancy Wheeler.

He knows right away that this feels different from any of his other flings. Nancy is sweet, and smart, and just a bit of a firecracker, and Steve loves it. Even better, she doesn't try to get him into bed on their first date, or their second, or even their third. It's not until the pool party that things take a more intimate turn between them, and by then, Steve is smitten.

He waits for the ick to kick in while he caresses her and kisses her everywhere - waits for the feeling of weirdbadwrong to make itself known - but this time... it doesn't. This time, Steve looks down at his partner and is stunned by how beautiful she looks. It's never been like this with any of the other girls - he's never wanted any of them quite like this - and for the first time, Steve really, genuinely enjoys having sex.

There's no ick; no uncomfortable feeling in his belly that sort of makes him feel ill. There's just Nancy, who looks and sounds beautiful, and smiles at him as they doze off together afterwards. It's amazing. It's perfect.

Steve thinks that maybe he's normal, after all.

He should know better than to get his hopes up, by now.

The next year is a whirlwind of absolute insanity. There are monsters, and alternate dimensions, and little kids with honest-to-God superpowers, and funerals... and sex becomes the least of Steve's worries.

He and Nancy are only intimate a handful of other times, after that first night (it's hard to get in the mood when all either of them can think about is how the first time they did this, her best friend was dying), and despite everything else going on, the ick, at least, stays away. It seems to be proof that Steve isn't broken or weird. He just needed some time to get used to sex.

He realizes how wrong he is the first time he tries to hook up with someone after Nancy breaks his heart, when the ick comes back. After that, he only tries once more, and then he just stops trying to score entirely... pretends he's just lost his touch and feels secretly relieved every time Robin Buckley puts a tally under the "You Suck" side of the whiteboard in the back room.

It goes on like this until March of 1986, when Eddie Munson comes barrelling into his life and changes everything.

His relationship with Eddie is unlike any he's ever had. They start out as tentative friends after everything with Vecna is finally over, and then it grows from there.

They hang out with the kids at Steve's place, which eventually turns into them hanging out without the kids. They talk about the weather, and the Upside Down, and music, and DnD campaigns. Anything and everything that comes to mind. Eddie tells Steve how he came to live with Wayne, and in return, Steve tells Eddie about his parents - about how he sometimes feels like he's haunting his own home.

(Eddie starts making excuses to stay the night more often, after that conversation, and Steve doesn't mention it, but he notices.)

And one day he looks over at Eddie, who's talking animatedly to El while Steve pops popcorn for their movie night, and suddenly, it hits him like a goddamn truck.

Eddie Munson is beautiful.

Steve can barely breathe as the realization takes hold, because he's not used to seeing people this way. He can appreciate when someone is objectively attractive, sure, but he rarely looks at someone and wants like this. He rarely looks at a person and wonders what their lips would feel like against his own, or what sort of sounds they make when they come, or what they'd look like with Steve's love bites riddling their skin...

He's only looked at one other person this way before: Nancy, after they'd been dating for a few weeks and had gotten to know each other better.

He's so shocked by the sheer amount of wanting he's feeling for Eddie that he blows right past the gay panic part of his bisexual awakening, straight into bumbling idiot with a crush territory.

And really, it must be obvious, because two weeks later, Eddie's gaze locks onto Steve's while they're sitting on the edge of the pool, feet dangling in the water, and Eddie smiles. It's a soft, gentle thing - so different from the maniacal grins he gives the kids when they're all hanging out together - and it steals all of the breath from Steve's lungs. His heart races as the air around them shifts, and for once, it's out of excitement rather than anxiety.

Eddie's voice is devastatingly timid when he murmurs, "Stevie, can I kiss you?"

Steve feels like he could cry out of happiness. His answer is a simple nod, and when Eddie kisses him slowly, sweetly, chastely, Steve can feel any remaining anxiety melting away.

Because this kiss isn't a demand, or a prelude to all of those other activities that Steve wants but isn't sure he's quite ready for with Eddie, yet. It's not a challenge.

It's a promise - a promise that this thing that's been blossoming between them over the last few months is real. Wordlessly, Eddie vows to treat him with care, and Steve does the same in kind.

And it's perfect.

They take things slow - slower than Steve and Nancy did, and definitely slower than Steve's ever gone with anyone else. Steve doesn't ask for sex, now that he no longer has a persona to uphold, and Eddie doesn't push. They're both perfectly content to share soft kisses and quiet words while they lay tangled together in one of their beds with their pajamas on, for now.

It takes more than a month for Eddie to bring it up.

"Baby, can I ask you something?" Eddie asks quietly.

They're curled up in Steve's bed after a long day taking the kids swimming at the quarry, and neither of them have said much for the last half hour or so. Eddie has been flipping through one of his D&D books, and Steve has been laying with his head pillowed on Eddie's chest, listening to his boyfriend's occasional mutterings about tieflings and trolls and some sort of forest quest. He's not even sure Eddie realizes he mutters to himself while he reads, and that just makes Steve love it even more.

Steve just hums sleepily and props his chin on Eddie's sternum to look up at him, face immediately falling into a frown. Eddie looks contemplative and a little nervous, and Steve already hates whatever this conversation is going to be about. He doesn't like it when Eddie is upset. It breaks his heart every time.

Swallowing thickly, he pushes himself off of Eddie's chest so they can lay on their sides facing each other, hands tangling between them because they're always touching these days. "What's up, Eds?" Steve asks. He hopes his voice is encouraging and doesn't give away the anxiety beginning to roll in his stomach.

Eddie hesitates, face scrunching up adorably like it always does when he's thinking too hard about something.

"We don't have sex," Eddie finally blurts out unceremoniously.

Steve's heart plummets, but he tries to keep his tone light when he speaks. "Is there a question in that...?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

Eddie won't meet his eyes, and it makes Steve feel strangely off-kilter. Eddie hasn't been this skittish around him in months.

"I don't know, just... doesn't that bother you, or something?" he says finally.

Steve deflects. "Does it bother you?"

He's dreading Eddie's answer.

But he only dreads it for a moment, because Eddie's eyes go wide and apologetic immediately. "No! No, Stevie, I'm fine with what we've been doing," Eddie says quickly. "I mean, I want to do more, you know? But it's totally fine if you don't. I guess I'm just worried I'm... boring you?"

Steve's expression must be incredulous, because Eddie backtracks instantly.

"Wow, okay, that sounded way worse out loud than it did in my head. Jesus H. Christ," Eddie sighs.

"Why would you think you're boring me?" Steve asks, unable to let it go, because it's quite possibly the most ridiculous thing Eddie has ever said (and that is a high bar to clear). In what world could Eddie - funny, unpredictable, unbearably sweet Eddie - be boring?

Eddie winces, then shrugs. "I don't know, man, you're just..." He pauses; Steve waits. "You're Steve Harrington, you know? It's not exactly a secret that you got around while we were in school. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing!" Eddie clarifies. "Whatever you did before doesn't bother me because it doesn't matter anymore, right? But you obviously like having sex, and we obviously haven't done anything more than kiss yet, and I was just wondering if that bothered you, I guess..."

For a moment, Steve considers lying. He considers telling Eddie that it doesn't bother him, but that he's ready for more if Eddie is, because it sounds like Eddie might be, and Steve doesn't want to disappoint him. He's pretty sure he could have a decent enough time having sex with Eddie if that's what Eddie wants. He could bite the bullet in the name of keeping everything else - the amazing parts of this little thing between them that make every part of Steve's soul feel warm and comforted and held.

So, yeah. He considers it - lying and putting on a good face while he gives Eddie what everyone always seems to want from Steve Harrington - but then he meets Eddie's eyes and reconsiders.

Eddie's gaze is open and kind and nervous, not expectant. He looks vulnerable and more than a little self-conscious, and in that moment, Steve decides that he's not going to let this thing with Eddie meet the same uncomfortable end as all the others. If Eddie can be vulnerable, if Eddie can be open and honest, then Steve can meet him halfway and do the same.

"What if I don't?" he asks, voice weak and unsure. He sounds so small - like a child, almost - and he hates it.

Eddie frowns. "What if you don't what?"

"You said it was obvious that I liked having sex," Steve replies shakily. He can't quite meet Eddie's eyes, but he sees Eddie's hesitant nod out of the corner of his eye. "Well... what if I don't?"

Steve wonders if the silence that follows feels as deafening and suffocating to Eddie as it does to him.

"I don't understand..." Eddie says. His voice is soft, like he's afraid he might scare Steve away, and Steve realizes suddenly that his own hands are trembling.

"I-" he murmurs haltingly. "It's just... sex is sort of weird for me, sometimes." He pauses, then quietly adds, "Most of the time, actually." He chances a look at Eddie's face and immediately wishes he hadn't, because Eddie's frown is deep and concerned and Steve doesn't know how to fix it.

"Okay," Eddie says slowly, giving Steve's hands a reassuring squeeze. "Do you think you could tell me what you mean by that?"

And, well... Steve does his best to explain. He tells Eddie about the way he'd felt icky back in high school, whenever he hooked up with some random girl from his class. He tells Eddie that he'd wanted to have sex, but for some reason it always seemed to feel like something was off. Sometimes, it felt like something was missing. Other times, it felt like too much.

Steve tells him about the times when he felt wrong-footed and uncomfortable for hours afterwards, even long after the girl had left. He quietly recounts, with flushed cheeks and watery eyes, those few occasions that had made him feel so terrible he'd sat on the shower floor and cried until the hot water ran out, unable to wash the feeling away.

He tells Eddie everything - about those precious few times with Nancy when he'd felt normal, about his attempts after their breakup that made him feel weirdbadwrong once again, about his relief every time he scared a new girl off at Scoops with his purposefully dismal flirting.

Steve tells Eddie everything, and Eddie listens.

By the end, there are tear tracks on Steve's face, trailing downwards towards a small damp spot on his pillow, but Eddie takes it all in stride. He simply raises a hand to brush away the tears and presses his lips to Steve's forehead, all while thanking Steve for telling him, and assuring Steve that there's no pressure, with them. There's no timeline, no expectation of sex, and there never will be. Eddie is happy to wait as long as Steve needs, and if the time never comes, then that's alright, too.

The thought alone brings additional tears of relief to Steve's eyes, and he feels a part of his heart unclench when Eddie's arms wrap around him that night as they drift off to sleep, just as they've done most nights for the last month. He feels safe inside the cocoon of Eddie’s arms, in the knowledge that Eddie knows, now, and he’s not going anywhere. Any lingering anxiety dissipates entirely the following morning, when Eddie bitches and moans about being woken up for work, but still kisses Steve just as sweetly before he goes, no less adoring than the day before.

It gives Steve honest-to-God butterflies, and he feels a bit like a lovesick teenager when he watches Eddie pull out of the driveway that morning. He wonders if maybe they’ll just carry on as though nothing has changed at all.

In the end, things do change, but it doesn’t take long for Steve to realize they’ve changed for the better. Their conversation seems to have opened the door for the kind of vulnerability that Steve’s never had with anyone else before, and it’s nice. More than nice, actually. It comes with the sort of honesty and trust he’s longed for his entire life. It comes with sweet kisses that never become too insistent, and soft touches that never wander into unwanted places. For the first time, Steve can relax and let himself be cared for…let himself fall even deeper in love with Eddie Munson than he already is.

Things progress, despite remaining temporarily paused on the physical front. They tell Robin about their relationship, and after she’s done half-crying, half-laughing her way through congratulating them, she gives Eddie an astonishingly frightening shovel-talk. They tell Dustin a few days later, and then the rest of the kids and Nancy. They go on their first official date at the drive-in, where they can cuddle up without needing to worry about the prying eyes of the ignorant assholes who make up most of the population of Hawkins.

A little over a month after The Talk, Steve holds Eddie’s hand while Eddie tells his Uncle Wayne that they’re together, and after Wayne wraps Eddie up in the biggest bear-hug of all time, he does the same to Steve and assures him that as long as he never hurts Wayne’s boy, Steve will always be welcome in the Munson home. Steve doesn’t comment on the tears shining in Eddie’s eyes, but he holds Eddie extra tightly that night. Tells Eddie how proud he is. Wonders how much longer he’ll be able to stop himself from slipping up and confessing exactly how much he loves Eddie.

And one day, after months of chaste kisses and soft, conservative touches…Steve feels ready for more.

They start slow, at Eddie’s insistence and to Steve’s relief. At first, it’s nothing but the two of them laying in Eddie’s bed, jerking themselves off side by side. They’re barely touching, aside from the occasional brush of the arm, but Steve feels like he’s on fire in the best way. Eddie’s choked off gasps go straight to his dick, and they come within seconds of each other, too satisfied to be embarrassed about how quickly the whole thing happens.

The next night, when they get their hands on each other, Steve’s are trembling with nerves frayed from wondering if the icky weirdbadwrong feeling will rear its head. But Eddie’s voice is soft and soothing, and his touch is no less gentle than it always is when he wraps his fingers around Steve’s cock for the first time. Instead of the prickly, icy feeling he usually gets, Steve thinks that this feels perfect. Like slipping into a warm bath after a long day out in the cold. It doesn’t take long for him to forget all about his worry that it might feel wrong when he’s lost in Eddie’s whispered encouragement and soft touches.

He comes that night with Eddie’s name on his lips, and when his fingers tremble as he returns the favor for his boyfriend, it’s out of excitement, not fear.

Steve tells Eddie he loves him a little over a week later, after a Corroded Coffin show at the Hideout.

Eddie says it back.

And the icky feeling continues to stay away, for the most part.

Of course, there’s still a bit of a learning curve when it comes to their sex life. There are days when Steve feels detached - untethered to the world around him, like he’s just going through the motions of life - and he can’t do anything sexual without feeling a bit like he wants to crawl out of his own skin. And they never have sex when they’re angry with each other, because the one time they try, Steve breaks down halfway through, unable to shake the feeling of wrongness that courses through his veins like poison.

It’s a lot of trial and error, and many very honest conversations, but it works. Eddie is never pushy - never seems to get frustrated with Steve’s oddly fickle relationship with sex - and eventually, Steve stops getting frustrated with himself. There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s not broken. He just is the way he is, and he doesn’t need to change that. Every once in a while, he wishes he knew someone else who felt like this, just to have someone to talk to, but it’s hard to feel lonely when he gets to fall asleep in Eddie’s arms every single night once they move in together in 1988.

Eventually, he sort of forgets about ever feeling broken in the first place, after years spent with a man who loves him unconditionally, exactly how he is.

Until a random day in the middle of June, 2015 when Eddie comes home from teaching guitar at the music center down the road with a pamphlet.

“Steve?” Eddie calls over the sound of the slamming screen door. Steve keeps meaning to replace the spring, so it won’t slam quite so hard every time, but every time he tries, he just gets distracted and forgets altogether.

“In here!” he replies from his place at the kitchen table, surrounded by dozens of middle school history essays.

Eddie comes striding into the kitchen with his guitar case slung over his shoulder and a half-nervous, half-excited grin on his face, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. It’s a habit from youth that he never quite shook, and Steve will never admit this out loud, but he finds it disgustingly adorable.

“Can I help you?” Steve asks with a slight smirk when Eddie just stares at him for a long moment.

Eddie blinks, then suddenly looks a bit sheepish as he takes a breath and pulls a folded-up pamphlet out of his jacket pocket. “So, uh…this might sound weird, but one of my students went to the Pride parade downtown with her girlfriend this weekend, and I told her to bring me a souvenir. And I was joking, obviously! Only…she brought me this random pamphlet she got from some vendor while she was there, also as a joke, and I was reading it because I was bored between lessons - Jeremy canceled because he has strep, or something - and it really wasn’t all that interesting, because, like, been there, done that, right? But-”

“Eddie,” Steve says, smirk dissolving into a fond smile. “You’re rambling, babe.”

“Right, yeah. That I am,” Eddie laughs nervously. He fidgets with the pamphlet, then abruptly holds it out for Steve to take.

Steve only hesitates for a moment before taking it and giving it a brief once-over. “Am I supposed to be-”

“Page five,” Eddie interrupts. His voice is soft, and fond, and a little nervous in a way it rarely is around Steve these days. Nearly thirty years of (unofficial) marriage has left little to be nervous about.

Steve stares at his husband, then flips open the little booklet to a page sporting a black, purple, grey, and white flag, and the word demisexuality. He frowns thoughtfully and pushes his reading glasses further up his nose as he begins to read the rest of the text on the page.

“I didn’t think much of it at first,” Eddie says softly, pulling up a chair so he can sit beside Steve. “But then I remembered that talk we had back when we first started dating…”

His voice trails off, but that’s okay. Steve already knows exactly what conversation Eddie is thinking about, because Steve is recalling it himself.

“There’s a word for it?” Steve’s voice comes out surprisingly fragile. Hopeful.

He can hear the smile in Eddie’s reply. “Yeah, sweetheart. Seems that way.”

“And there are…” Steve swallows down the tidal wave of emotion threatening to crash over him. “There are more people like me? It’s, like…a thing?”

“Sure is, baby,” Eddie says fondly, pressing a lingering kiss to Steve’s temple. “Got your own flag and everything!”

Steve chokes out a laugh just as the first tear falls down his cheek, and fuck, he can’t stop smiling. Because Eddie is right. There’s a word, and a community, and a goddamn flag. And yeah, maybe it’s been years since Steve last worried about the weirdbadwrong feeling he used to get so frequently when he was younger, but something inside of him feels like it’s settled into place. Like the final piece of a puzzle, pulled from beneath the couch years after the rest was completed: dusty and faded, almost forgotten, but a perfect fit nonetheless.

“Demisexual…” he murmurs reverently, tracing over the shape of the flag with his fingers. “I like it.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks eagerly.

Through happy tears, Steve looks at the man who is his husband in everything but the eyes of the law. Eddie’s eyes are kind and excited - just like they always are - and God, Steve loves him. He’s loved him for decades, and he’s never going to stop.

“Yep,” Steve breathes, wrapping a hand around the back of Eddie’s head to pull him in for a slow kiss. “Love it,” he says. Another kiss. “Love you.”

“Love you too, baby,” Eddie whispers in return.

The next year, Eddie’s students don’t need to bring him souvenirs from Pride, because he and Steve go together. They hold hands as they cheer on the parade, newly-acquired wedding rings (now that it’s been legalized in all fifty states) glinting in the sunlight, and Steve wonders if he’s ever been this happy before. He’s got his husband on one side, Robin and her wife on the other, and a flag of black, purple, grey, and white painted on one cheek.

The feeling is electric.

It’s perfect.

And Steve has never, ever been more certain that there’s nothing icky or wrong about it.

[princesssmars]

holly jolly!

an abby anderson x reader based on my abby winter drabble !

wc : 15.718

contains : fluff, angst and smut . fxf relationship. fem!reader. switch! abby and reader. oral and penetrative sex. strap-on yippee. past abby x owen ewwww. owen hate bc i hate him and its funny. reader is a skier and abby does hockey! shitty dad for reader sorry girls. slight alcoholism sorry girls again. the reader is described as slightly tall i know yall been wanting taller readers. reader is kind of bitchy and abby loves it my fave dynamic (dynamic and pretty much the rest inspired by the little ruse go read it).

a/n : sorry i never got over my drabble guys. i dont know who exactly made hockey!abby but ive read em all so big creds to @angelkissiies @millersaurora @whatwouldsylwrite (and @eightstarr for calling abby princess) everyone else smoochies ily <3 made reader a skier because ive been obsessing over the olympics and i watched mollys game and thought it would be cool if i made a skier reader instead of a figure skater. ballerina next time if yall will indulge my delusions.

christmas has always been a bittersweet holiday.

you can remember the good parts from your childhood. picking out your first stocking with your mom. when your younger brother hid in the cupboard to try and catch santa. when your baby brother got cookie dough all over the kitchen, even on the ceiling. or when you were five years old and your dad gifted you your very first pairs of skis.

but it was hard to remember when the bad could get really bad. constant days spent out in the cold and snow, redoing your runs over and over until your legs burned and your back ached. your days that were supposed to be full of vacationing and fun instead filled with aches and falls and countless arguments once you realized you could start talking back.

some of the few friends you've had over the years tried to get you to focus on the good times and not the bad. that dwelling in the past wouldn't help you move forward. when you were younger you'd just call them assholes and move on, but recently it didn't seem worth the effort. that's probably why you started college with no close friends.

it was fine. you had your smarts, which helped you to get a full-ride scholarship when a skiing one fell through after a bad leg injury a few months back. because of that, your mom managed to convince your dad to get off of your ass for a while as you recovered. you had money thanks to your parents and you had your looks which would land you a hookup once in a blue moon.

you'd even made two acquaintances on campus, your roommate, tonya, who was pretty mellow and made sure not to bring the weed she smoked inside your dorm, and a girl named nora in one of your general ed classes whom you would partner up with often.

so yeah. it was fine. at least until the end of your freshman year.

you were running late for your ten am class, sleeping in because tonya had somehow managed to convince you to go to a small party with her last night and take body shots, and then when you were close to being drunk you saw one of your past hookups in the corner who you had dropped for getting way too attached way too quickly, so then you had to quickly find tonya and run back to your dorm-

youre in the middle of remembering ton's bird-like laugh when you nearly faceplanted into your front door when you ran full force into a hulking mass of a body.

the sound of them lightly cursing and asking if you were okay falls on deaf ears as you pick up your bag and hike it to your class, ignoring the stairs of the other students when you rush and plop into your seat.

luckily you manage to get yourself together afterwards, fixing yourself up at your dorm before heading to your next course with nora. as soon as you sit down she's teasing you about a video she saw of you getting wasted last night and you don't even have the energy to entertain her.

"well, instead of getting drunk off your ass again how about you join me tonight? one of my friends is on the hockey team and i got some nice ass tickets."

"c'mon, nora. hockey? seriously?"

"oh, im sorry ms. olympian, is hockey too good for you suddenly? just a bunch of women tossing a puck around too barbaric for you?"

"wait, you didnt say it was women's hockey."

"well, it is."

"..."

"..."

"what time does it start?"

at around five you're putting on a cute sweater and a puffer jacket before joining nora on the campus bus where she tries to quickly explain the rules of hockey to you in the span of five minutes. she asks how on earth you haven't been to one of the games or at least heard of the team's star breakout player. you have to carefully explain that you've had enough of sports to last a lifetime.

the indoor arena is packed, and you have to roughly squeeze and push multiple people out of the way to get by. nora starts laughing and tells you to leave the violence to the players and you brush her off. (for some reason she constantly loves to tease you.) when you both finally sit in your seats, you notice that they're behind the glass where the team players get out onto the ice and sit for breaks. nora suddenly bangs on the glass behind a player wearing an ANDERSON 20 jersey. the girl stands up and turns around and good god.

you weren't the shortest girl yourself, standing a couple inches over most girls you knew, but jesus she was easily almost six feet tall, and big, even if her jersey and gear probably made her look larger which really didn't help you focus. you liked the contrast of it with her face, bright, cute, and red from the cold as she talked to nora through the plexiglass. you were just about to admire the shape of her nose when her slightly unnerving blue eyes turned to you.

"hey, i recognize you!"

your brows pull in a deep scrunch.

"from this morning, you bumped into me and nearly knocked me on my ass."

"oh my god, i had a feeling that was you!" you hear the familiar noise of nora laughing at your pain. "jeez, how drunk did you get last night?"

"would you just- look, im sorry about earlier. i was hungover and rushing to class."

she smiles and shakes her head. "its chill, dont worry about it. nora, are you going to that party at derek's frat after? i swear he was begging me to come but i wasnt too sure."

"abby, everyone asks you to go to their parties and you never do! live a little." nora pauses before wrapping her arm around your shoulders.

you knew she was about to say something to piss you off.

"even little y/n here is gonna come and properly apologize to someone for once. isn't that right, hun?"

great.

"well, that wasn't my plan for tonight. at all." you say before picking up your giant hockey-themed plastic cup and taking a sip, hoping the chill of your slushie numbs out the rest of this conversation.

abby adjusts some of her straps and her helmet before resting her hand on the glass, noticing how the rest of her teammates are getting ready to go out on the ice. "well, i'd really like to see you there. is there any way i could convince you to come?"

"i don't know, is there?"

"how about... when i win, you come to the party with me."

you couldn't help but roll your eyes so hard they hurt. leave it to nora to be friends with the walking cliche of an arrogant sports player. you could've been spending this moment in your dorm watching a dumb hallmark movie about a businesswoman falling in love with a farmer while eating chips and drinking a self-indulgent capri sun.

"and if you lose?"

the announcer over the loudspeaker called for the game to start and the players started making their way onto the ice. abby winks at you before turning around and joining the rest of her team.

"trust me, i won't."

you scoffed and flopped back into your hard seat, sucking almost angrily at the bright red straw in your slushie to ignore nora's look.

"are all of your friends that annoying?"

"kind of. thought you'd enjoy it though. birds of a feather."

not bothering to entertain her, you focused on the game that was starting in front of you.

you could understand the basics of the game; one team had to get the puck into the other goal several times until they won. you had a brief understanding of some of the other rules, mostly because your father explained every winter olympic sport to you in great detail when you were twelve. it became so boring at one point that you fell asleep and banged your head on the coffee table, startling the both of you so much he decided to let you go to bed.

but as the game goes on you have to admit that anderson is frighteningly good at what she does. she moves gracefully and quickly on the ice, so well you think to yourself that if she ever tires of hockey she could seriously pursue ice skating, but when an opposing player gets too aggressive with her she returns it with force. she's like an avalanche on skates.

when the game ends you can't tell whether you're shocked or agitated. your team won in what nora called a 'total fucking landslide', the bright 6-1 lighting up the scoreboard like a smack in the face. it felt slightly awkward that everyone around you was yelling and celebrating while you were sitting statue still in your seat.

nora could probably sense your discomfort and gently pulled you up, telling you that the both of you could throw your things away before meeting up with some more friends of hers before heading to the party.

so awesome.

her friends were nice enough, a psychology student named leah and her boyfriend jordan who was some type of biology major. they seemed happy to meet you but happier to make googoo eyes at each other and go to the party, which meant you most likely wouldn't see them again once you got there unless you stumble upon the two in a hallway closet or bathroom. there was also mel, a nursing student who seemed slightly closed off but agreed with you when you mentioned this party would probably be loud and gross. a bunch of athletes celebrating a win is a recipe for disaster.

"finally, the campion herself arrives!" jordan cheers and raises his bag of chips up to abby who's walking up to your group, wearing a simple college sweatshirt and some black sweatpants. for something so basic she makes it look good, and if you didn't have any integrity and weren't pissed off about this party bet thing you'd tell her so. but you are pissed off and still have about half of your integrity, so you keep your mouth shut.

when she bumps into your shoulder with a 'told ya i'd win' you're about to reply with a snarky remark when a tall man with dark blonde hair and another with tanned skin and brown hair come up beside her and raise her up on their shoulders, chanting 'anderson, anderson!' on repeat. you look to nora who just rolls her eyes and tells you that she'll introduce you in the car.

you're all split into two cars, with you riding with the two strange men along with abby and nora. they tell you the guysin the front seats are owen and manny. also that they've all known each other since they were teens which definitely doesn't make you feel like an outsider. but manny keeps trying to joke around with you so you don't feel too awkward which you can appreciate. even if you don't really laugh.

when the car stops at a giant white frat house you arent surprised in the slightest. you were about to prepare yourself for another night of drinking and finding another hookup when abby throws her arm over your shoulder and decides that she likes you enough to spend most of the night by your side.

she walks with you to get drinks and then leaves to go celebrate with some other friends while you sit and nurse your drink for a while. it leaves you some time to think, asking yourself why you're acting like you're trapped here when you could just leave whenever you want, but you don't understand why you don't. maybe it's because you'll use any excuse to have a good reason to drown out your problems with alcohol. or because you're lonely but don't feel like admitting it.

after around half an hour she comes back and sits on one side of you while you talk to nora and joins in. she asks about your major, if you're from seattle, and how you met nora. after a while you stop rolling your shoulders when she asks a new question and settle into conversation with her. and after a few hours you learn more about her too, that her dad is a neurosurgeon and she's following in his footsteps with her pre-med major, but that as soon as she tried hockey she knew she wanted to do it forever. she tells you that she doesn't really like drinking, she knows most of the people on the other women's sports teams, that she used to date owen-

you choke on a sip of your vodka and nora pats your back with a chuckle. you were definitely off your game tonight. but besides that hiccup you have to admit talking to them is enjoyable. even their friend manny comes over and dares you to do shots with him and you were seriously about to do it before the girls talked you out of it.

over the next few weeks, you talk more and more to the anderson girl, to the point where you're staying up at night to talk to her over the phone and waking up to your roommate giggling in your face. once she was so tired after a game she started snoring and you would not let her forget it. just like she wouldn't let you forget the time you got wasted at a sorority party, got on top of the kitchen island, and danced to a city girls' song before she set you back on the floor.

you wouldn't ever admit it out loud, hell you had barely admitted it to yourself, but you had started to catch feelings for abby. there was nothing more mebarrasing and cliche to you than falling for your straight friend, and you really didnt want to be on eof those girls who did so. but in your defense, it was really hard not to. she was annoyingly pretty, lord knows how many times youe admired the freckles dusting her cheeks down to her shoulders. she was strong and smart and every other positive character trait your brain could conure up.

but the worst thing was just how nice she was to you.

in hindsight, the way everything fell into place was honestly the dumbest thing ever. you were at a county fair leah had heard about and asked you to come with her along with jordan and abby. obviously, the couple went in their own direction after a while, which left you and abby to wander around getting on the different rides and getting your reaction to abby eating her first-ever funnel cake. but then it was later, and the two of you had stopped at one of those rigged pop up games and you bet her twenty bucks that she wouldn't win, and if there was one thing you knew about abby it was that she took bets very seriously, so when she won and had to pick her prize you were a little confused when she picked your favorite animal and handed it to you.

when you asked her how she knew it was your favorite, all she could say was 'you said they were cool a few times and they're your profile picture on your private instagram, so i just put the pieces together.'

you went home and didnt talk to her for a week. or at least you tried to, because after a weekend of ignoring her calls and convincing tonya to bring you meals from the lunch hall the blonde girl banged her fist on your door and basically demanded you tell her what your problem was.

"i don't see what the big fucking deal is. i'm allowed a little bit of space from you, abigail."

she scoffed and you could see her tongue bunch in the corner of her mouth before her body pushed past yours until she was standing in the middle of your room.

"i'm not saying you can't have space and you know im not. i mean, one second we're having a good time together and then you just shut me out for no reason. if i did something wrong i need you to tell me. i can't read your damn mind, y/n."

sometimes it feels like you can, you think with a snort, feeling slightly embarrassed by the angry look on her face. you collect yourself and cross your arms over your chest. "i just don't feel like talking to you right now, so if you could please get out now-"

"nope. not gonna leave until you tell me what's wrong."

sometimes you could forget just how damn stubborn she was. it mostly popped up on the ice, and you had once overheard her coach say that if she wasn't such a great player she'd be benched most of the time.

"do you realize how annoying you're being right now?"

"don't care."

"i don't give a shit if you have muscles, i can still kick your ass."

"i'd really like to see you try, princess."

you groan and cover your face, but not before raising them in a choking gesture. you walk backward and sit on your bed, trying to take a breather before anderson follows you and resting on the ground in front of you, her large palms smoothing up and down your thighs.

"please, y/n, just...just tell me what i did and i'll fix it, i promise."

you've never been one to cry. or maybe you had been when you were a young child before your father taught you that 'crying doesn't achieve success, at least not the kind you want.' but you can see how much abby cares about you in her eyes and you know that despite you being unreasonable she'll put up with it anyway. your eyes start to sting and you rest your head in the crook of her neck.

she doesn't force you to say anything more than you want, rubbing the expanse of your back while another hand gently pats your head. after a long minute, you pull your head up and find that the space between your two faces is almost nonexistent, your eyes dart from her eyes to her lips, and before you can say anything else her hand is on the back of your neck and she's bringing your lips down to hers.

its soft and sweet and her lips are soft and feel like heaven against yours, and she doesn't give you a second to be confused about what's happening because she's making the kiss deeper and pulling your body closer to hers by putting her arms under yours and pressing you in by the back of your shoulders. you throw your arms over her shoulders and behind her neck and decide that you're going to enjoy this moment for as long as you can.

but eventually, you need to breathe, pulling your head back and letting out a shaky breath of air when abby just moves her ministrations to your neck, sucking and biting on the skin until it bruises.

"i..i thought you were straight." is all you can manage to voice, the feeling of her body pressed into yours and her teeth nipping at your neck making your mind hazy.

she laughs and kisses your neck a few times before looking you in the eyes. "well, i never actually said i was, you just assumed so."

"seriously? you dated owen? he's the dullest straight girl choice i've ever met. and we live in washington" you scoffed.

"yeah, well. that was a long time ago. i've moved on to bigger and better things."

she plants a big overdramatic kiss on your cheek, repeating so on the other side of your face until she can see your smile and hear you giggle. when you both calm down a little she backs up and wears a more serious look on her face.

"i care about you. more than i've cared about anyone before." she smiles, her thumb rubbing over the back of one of your hands. "except maybe my dad, obviously. and nora, she was kinda my best friend before you. but you get what im trying to say."

you laugh and nod at her. "i understand. i...like you too. a lot."

"geez, you're seriously emotionally stunted. but i'll take what i can't get, you'll warm up to me eventually." she slaps her hands on your thighs, ignoring the annoyed look on your face before scooching your body up until you're laying down on your bed, her body gently flopping down onto yours.

"abby! get the hell off, you're wearing your outside clothes!"

"cmon, just five more minutes."

and as much as you complained during those five minutes, you both knew you didnt mind that much.

after that things were really nice. at least for the most part. you were officially abby's girlfriend, which she had asked if you wanted to be the day after you two semi-confessed your feelings. she knew that this kind of commitment was new to you, and the last time it didn't go so well for her, so you both decided it'd be best to take it slow.

(slow meaning you did everything you two did before with the added bonus of making out whenever you wanted. you weren't complaining.)

but keeping things on the down low was a bit of a struggle. abby was a huge fan of pda, always found hugging one of her teammates after a successful game or cuddling with someone on movie nights. she would hug you when you were just friends, but now that you were comfortable with her touching you more in private it started to bleed into public life, her hand looking for yours when walking around or giving you a kiss on the cheek after you aced another test.

the next problem was your friends. you had told nora over a late night phone call while manny had found out when he had walked into the living room of his and abbys shared dorm and found the two of you with your shirts off and kissing on the couch, shouting in both spanish and english about how his eyes burned but he was happy for you both.

you both knew you could trust the two of them with your 'secret', but you didn't expect that end-of-the-year party owen and manny decided to invite you both to.

it was a mix of things really. you were going to just spend time with your friends and nothing more, but you were feeling really pent up. when you and abby decided to take things slow, that also meant sex. which at first was all right with you, hookups were a lot different than sharing yourself with someone you really cared about. but abby was just so effortlessly hot, and now since hockey season was over she had more time to spend with you and it was driving you up the damn wall. it got to the point that you found yourself nearly always on the brink of an orgasm when after a long day she'd press you into her bed and kiss you until you felt dizzy.

so when she decided to go to the party in a tight long-sleeved top and a normal pair of jeans, you definitely should not have been all over her as you were.

(to be fair. she was also on you like white on rice. you had decided to don a tube top with a mini skirt, figuring it couldn't hurt to dress up a little for a simple party. especially since it made your girlfriend look at you like she wanted to eat you alive.)

after mingling a bit and getting yourself a drink, you meet up with some of your friends and start to talk to leah about some drama in one of her classes when abby rejoins you, moving your body so your body is resting into hers. you aren't used to such a public display of affection, but this alcohol is blurring any desire you had to hide that she was yours and you were hers.

"god, you guys are so cute together it makes me sick." nora laughs into her red solo cup, shaking her head at your adorable but annoying affection.

leah's eyebrows scrunch up and she starts to pinch at your arm. "wait, am i missing something? you two are dating?"

at that point, some other people were listening in and looking in at the two of you, including none other than owen moore. now, you and moore were always cordial, but you wouldn't call him a good friend like you would the others. you always felt that whenever he saw or heard about you abby spending time together or heard about how close you two had gotten so quickly, he would smile silently while staring at you like he wanted to burn lasers through your brain.

and he was doing the exact same thing now, his grip on his bear so tight you feared the glass would break. somehow you were the only one who noticed.

"yes, we're together. finally managed to convince this one that jocks aren't just big dumb idiots a few weeks ago." abby's talking breaks you out of your thoughts, her arms snaking around your waist and pulling you to sit on her lap.

you cant help but roll your eyes. "i never once said that."

"well you were thinking it. i could tell."

some of the people who you didnt know and who were friends of friends said congrats, how cute they thought the two of you were, etc. it kind of weirds you out to have all these people paying attention to you just because of who you were with, but abby's quips to any weird remarks you didn't want to acknowledge made you feel better about anything.

but later on, when the two of you are unseriously dancing in the living room, owen comes over and asks abby to talk in private, leaving you to dance with some girls you recognized from the last party. but after three songs pass and abby still hasn't come back, you get a weird feeling in your chest and decide to go looking for the two. you head upstairs and down a few hallways before you hear two voices in a heated argument, and after numerous visits to her games, you can recognize abby's yelling anywhere.

before you can knock on the door to ask if something is wrong, it opens and you see a red-faced owen, not even saying anything before he knocks into your shoulder and goes back downstairs, clearly ignoring your call of 'fucking dick' to his back.

you scoff and shake your head, turning back around to say something to abby before you slightly step back at the look on her face. its dark, like if owen didn't leave she would have kicked his ass first, and now it's trained at you. you know she'd never hurt you, though. partially because she cares about you too much, and partially because you always keep a taser in your back pocket whenever you go to a party.

"abby? what's wrong? did he fucking say something to you?

she laughs before grabbing your arm and pulling you into the room, shutting the door behind you and locking it. her long legs take seconds to reach the bed, her arm releasing when your body sits and bounces slightly on the bed as she stands above you.

"its...its nothing, just owen being a dick like always."

her voice is strained and her hands are tensing into fists, telltale signs that she was really pissed off. you hold her hands in yours, pressing little kisses to her knuckles. normally you hated being so sappy, but you knew that being cute with her was a quick way to calm her down.

"don't worry. i can guarantee one of these days someone is gonna kick his ass. unless i do it first, and you know i want to." you joke and smile when she laughs, gripping her hands so she can sit on the bed next to you.

"yeah, youre right."

"im always right. you should learn that if you wanna stick with me."

she shakes her head before looking at you in silence, and you feel your face get hot under her gaze. you'd never admit it to her but seeing her so angry really did something for you. the bottom of your leg rubs against hers, and her eyes dart down before trailing up your legs to the point where your skirt is starting to ride up your bare thighs.

"here, babe? seriously?"

you sigh, figuring she was right and having your first time together in some stranger's house during a party was horribly tacky. you start to move your leg before she grabs it and puts it on the bed before grabbing you and resting you in her lap.

"i didn't tell you to stop."

so yes, you did get tacky in a strangers house. and back in abby's dorm. and again after you both showered.

so if there was one thing you could ever thank owen for, it was finally giving you both the push you needed to take the next step in your relationship. but after that night things were a little strained, as abby and owen were on a no-contact basis, their fight having something to deal with them and maybe you although she wouldn't go into details, which just led to this drama also spreading to mel since she was dating owen and was always pretty neutral when it came to you and tense when it came to abby, and mel was close friends to leah who was now close to you and...

it was complicated.

but you were used to not having people around. you had abby, nora, manny, and tonya, and that was all you really needed. speaking of tonya, you don't think you've ever seen anyone as happy for someone else's relationship as you did when you told tonya that you and abby got together. she said it was 'half happy that you found someone for you and half happy that someone will finally get the stick out of your ass.'

but your bliss was partially broken when your mother called a week after you had your last finals to let you know she and her father were going to be visiting seattle to talk to you about something important. at this point you hadn't talked to either of your parents since winter when your dad had not so discreetly told you he would be on your ass about skiing again as soon as your leg was alright again. and you were definitely going to dread every minute you had to spend trying to cordial to them, don't even mention finally introducing them to your girlfriend who you so far had never told them about.

for a few days after the call, you must have been acting weird because abby could tell something was wrong and took you to a relaxing little cafe she had found when she first got to the city. you're sipping on a milkshake while abby does the same across from you, digging into her stack of blueberry pancakes, waiting for you to tell her what's going on while she talks about her schedule now that school is out.

"manny's gonna be gone for a month because of his music internship, so i was wondering if you wanted to come and stay at mine while he's gone. we can watch movies, dance to music, or we can practice those recipes i saw on tiktok."

"mhm, that sounds nice, babe." you continue to at least show minimal attention to what she's saying, briefly slurping at your shake until she speaks again.

"yup. but after that, i might have to leave for a while, i haven't seen my dad in forever and he wanted me to stay for two weeks while my aunt is visiting salt lake."

her words slowly die out when she notices how you stop slurping your drink, your eyes staring into space as your thumb scratches at your palm.

throughout your relationship, you had told abby the rundown of your relationship with your parents maybe once. at first, it was because it was a touchy subject and you would be embarrassed if she knew the reason for the way you acted the way you did and thought your baggage was too much for her.

and then it was because deep down you were jealous. they had their ups and downs, but abby had such a pure relationship with her father that sometimes it made you sick. while he didnt flaunt his wealth because of his principles, but abby would tell you about all the times when she was younger that her dad would give her the best birthday parties, take her with him to conferences around the world, and made sure she had anything she desired.

so when you had to tell her that the most your dad did was give you a break to be a normal adult instead of shaping you into a champion, you don't think there was ever a time that you secretly envied her more.

"this is about your dad, isn't it?" she whispered, reaching across the table to take your hand in hers. you nodded, relieved that your girlfriend could read you like a book and you didnt have to say it out loud.

"could you tell me more about it?"

shit.

you sighed, a deep breath leaving your body and clearing your head.

"my parents are gonna be here soon. said they wanted to talk to me about something "important", which means my dad thinks i've had enough time to recover from my leg being nearly snapped in two because he thinks he knows better than the doctor. but hey, maybe when i was gone he got another fuckin degree to throw in my face."

while you ranted abby never said a word, just paying close attention and providing you comfort. out of everyone in the crew, she was always the person people went to talk to when they needed it. she said it was something she got from her mom.

"all my life he's been like this. just pushing me and pushing me until im at the point of breaking until i use my anger to win. there's no doubt he's still doing it. heard my brother is being scouted at his games and he's only fifteen."

abby nods and presses a kiss to your hand, treading carefully with what she says next. "your dad sounds...horrible, honestly. he never...hit you did he?"

you feel your body jerk back and both of your eyes go big at your reaction.

"no, no he would never. im serious. wouldn't make sense from a logical standpoint, id be in front of other people all the time and any injuries would fuck up my skiing."

"well that's a bleak way of looking at it, but im glad he didnt. but the other shit is still bad."

"yeah. definitely not looking forward to dealing with that again in two weeks."

"i know, but im here, and im gonna stick by you every step of the way, alright? even if your parents find out they hate me and curse my bloodline."

you couldn't help but snort at her. "nobody could hate you, anderson. you would annoy them too much and make dirty bets against them."

"what? that wasn't a dirty bet! you'd just never seen my skills before and i used it to my advantage."

"whatever you say abs."

abbys reassurance and patience helped greatly, and by the time you met your parents at their hotel for breakfast, you weren't nervous about whatever bullshit they had to say.

but for some odd reason, they were very cordial. your mom asked you about school, how your grades were, and how you liked your chosen major. when it got to the point if you were seeing anyone, you not so subtly gushed about abby and she seemed really happy for you. your dad even praised you for picking another sportsman, avoiding your look while he ate his eggs.

a week later you even had the courage to introduce them to abby, who told you she would cook something for all of you to eat.

that tiktok recipe she was talking about? it was ratatouille. and you had to admit it was delicious, and you wondered how abby was so good at so many things and she told you when she was a kid she wanted to learn how to do basically everything and her dad was more than happy to indulge her. sometimes you really wondered how she didn't appear to be so spoiled.

but your girl was nothing if not a charmer, and by the end of the night your mom was gushing over how much she liked abby and thought she was a great match for you.

your dad was...your dad. he acted polite, asking abby about her intentions, if she was dedicated to her studies and sports and you at the same time. blah blah blah. abby gave perfect human resources-like answers that she knew would make you giggle and loosen up.

once dinner was over your mother insisted on staying a little while longer to watch a movie, finding out she and your girlfriend both had soft spots for mamma mia and grease and planned to drink some wine and let loose for once. while the two were watching meryl streep panic on screen your dad tapped you on the shoulder and asked if he could speak to you in private, and you were mentally prepared to get into yet another argument.

"i know i'm the last person who gets to say this but..you've seemed to have really grown this past year. I'm proud of you."

"thanks. i guess."

he sighs, shifting on his feet. "i know i've always been hard on you and your brothers. i just-i knew that if you had guidance you could be phenomenal at whatever you do."

"yeah, dad, but that doesn't mean forcing me to train for ten hours a day when i was still in third grade." you could list more instances of him being overbearing and partially ruining your childhood, but you don't feel like being the person who makes the conversation go sour.

"i know. trust me, i know. look, your mother has us going to a shrink and...one of the steps is asking for forgiveness and whatever mumbo jumbo."

you almost snort but pass it off as a sneeze. your dad in therapy was about as believable as a talking donkey.

"well, it's nice to hear dad but it's not gonna be just as easy as being nice to me and my girlfriend for a night."

"i know. which is why i wanted to show you this."

he pulls out and his phone and after a few taps shows you an article. you read the word 'olympics' and nearly blow before he cuts you off.

"just listen, alright? one of the big coaches was caught and fired for doping a bunch of the players, so they're postponing the winter games for another few years for investigations to see if there's any more misconduct."

"are you serious?"

"deadly. and i know with your leg and your schooling you'll have your hands full but, i figured the best way i knew how to bond with you was to help you. it'd be enough time to get extensive physical therapy and train up. but only if you want to."

"dad, i. i really don't know what to say."

"you don't have to say anything, at least not now. just promise me you'll think about it, alright? and if by next spring you still don't want to, I'll never bring it back up again."

after that, your mother comes and says they should get going to get enough sleep for their flight tomorrow, and you bid your parents goodbye with stiff hugs and a genuine smile.

for the next few months into your sophomore year your on the fence. when you were a kid, despite the pain and the tears and the bruises, there was nothing you loved more than skiing. you swear that the adrenaline rushes you would get speeding down slopes were better than anything you've ever experienced, even sex.

(when abby heard you say that one night on the couch, she pouted and wouldn't touch you for a week, telling you to go back to those stupid slopes if that's how you felt.)

but the point was that you were basically going through a beginning life crisis. either stick with the new normal you've created and potentially miss out on fulfilling your childhood dreams, or take a risk and potentially come out more damaged than before.

you were planning on spending the next thanksgiving mulling it over, but to your shock baby invited you to come with her to her dad's house for thanksgiving with her family. when checking in with her to see if she and her dad would be ok with this big step, she told you it was actually her dad's idea and she'd be more than happy to have you meet her family.

you swear to god you have never been more nervous on a plane than you were on the flight to salt lake, only being soothed by the constant free drinks you get in first class, the six hundred page book in your hands, and abbys large hand constantly rubbing on your thigh and back. you suggested that you both join the mile-high club as a joke and she seemed a little too into it.

"babe please, i promise ill be quick. i can even put my fingers in your mouth."

"abby, i was just joking. im not gonna do that and get kicked off the plane. god, you're so fuckin weird."

"you make me weird. pretty please? ill pull out the puppy eyes."

"i really don't give a fuck."

and you come to find out that abby's stories were true because her dad is so weirdly nice. he greets you at the airport like he's known you all your life, and is eager to find conversation the whole drive to his house where you both are staying.

you were glad that like you abby had a smaller family, or at least one she spent thanksgiving with. after her father you only had to introduce yourself to her aunt and her small family, a husband who you have to look down at and likes to boast about his coin collection, and three children. the eldest, ashley, was closer in age to you and abby and was clearly abby's favorite cousin. the middle child was a wild child named kris, who didn't seem at all phased that you were a stranger and kept asking you if you'd ever heard of their favorite anime series.

now, you've never been the best with children, you repeatedly told your mother to throw your baby brother in the trash when you were six, but you couldn't help but fawn over abby's baby cousin lyle, the cutest infant you've ever seen who after a few hours of fussing because of the time change, he calms down into a smiling drooling little thing who, although he keeps tugging at your hair when his mom hands you to him, seemed to actually enjoy your presence and laughs like its the funniest thing ever.

you didnt catch the way abby looked at you fondly while you were playing around with her cousin or the way she swatted her father away when he called her out on it.

so thanksgiving was easy, a peaceful week full of meeting kind people and eating some surprisingly good food. but you didn't even get a week of peace after before abby brought it up.

christmas.

yes the holiday was full of joy and warmth when you were a child. but after a mini teenage rebellion and your energy you just...gave up on the holiday completely. last year you spent it alone inside your dorm which wasn't the worst thing on earth. you got to watch corny feel-good movies like national lampoons, drink hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, and had free reign to the library since the librarian apparently used to watch your games on tv. it wasn't like it used to be, but it was enough.

"so, you're coming with us to the cabin right?" nora reaches across the library table and takes one of your fries from the fast food you sneaked in. for some reason she refused to order her own fries, content to pluck the ones from your container.

"what? what cabin?"

"god, abby hasn't told you about this by now? i thought she would have taken you there already and made it her love shack or something." she quickly ducks her head when you toss a burnt fry at her, looking around to make sure no one saw. "it's her dad's cabin at one of the ski ranges in the mountains, she invites us every year for christmas break or new years if we can't make it."

"first, you're a perv. second, i don't know why she hasn't told me about it. id probably tease her for it anyway."

"well when you see her next ask her, because you definitely have to come with us this year."

"i don't know, nors. you know how i feel about skiing right now..."

"you don't have to ski! we literally never do, as sad as it is. we just hang out, go out for drinks, and hit the skiing town. im telling you cold resort parties are insane."

you take a minute to mull it over, staring into space as you tap your fingers on the hardwood table. nora fingers tap on the top of your hand.

"i understand you're going through things, with your dad and all. you don't have to come if you don't want to. but i know we'd really enjoy it if you came, especially abby."

you nod and eat another fry before gegging back to the novel you were reading, some 'all-time classic' abby had said you had to read.

you saw abby a few hours after that, yet again staying the night at her dorm to kick off the following weekend. when you entered using your spare key the smell of chinese food instantly hit you, and it took you by surprise since abby normally insisted on cooking for you and manny.

you set down your things and kicked off your shoes before heading into the little kitchenette, hearing the sound of rather loud whispers that stopped as soon the roommates saw you, noodles stuffed into both of their mouths.

"what the fuck are yall starin at?"

manny snorts before making some weird excuse for leaving, telling you he's meeting up with some meteorology student at a bar and he won't be home until tomorrow. you bid him. a quick goodbye before turning back to abby, the blonde picking through her food.

its only then that you notice the gauze wrapped around her palm, quickly cross the threshold to gently but firmly raise her hand up to your face to observe it.

your about to go on a triade when you see that sad pout on her face.

"tell me who did this to you." you grumble, putting on a fake deep voice.

she chuckles and shakes her head. "you're so weird."

"only because of you. tell me what happened."

"i was trying to cook before we ordered takeout and i just...got distracted and burned my hand. its not a big deal, don't worry about it."

you tell by the way her shoulders were tensing that she was getting into one of her moods, always hating when she failed at something and hating even more when people kept asking her about it.

"well im always gonna worry about, something that's also your fault by the way. what made you distracted."

"nothing."

"abs."

"please just drop it."

"abigail."

she groans before slumping her head into her arms on the counter.

so you decide to drop it. at least for a little while. you put away the rest of the food, deciding to eat the box she bought for you after her mood had been resolved before figuring you'd leave her alone while you took a shower.

but if there was one thing you knew about abby, it was that she took 'golden retriever energy' to a whole nother level. aka most of the time she couldn't leave you alone and followed you near everywhere. after only a few minutes, you heard the shower door open and felt her large arms circle around your waist and her head rest on your shoulders.

"i wanna ask you something. there's this cabin my dad owns that we all head to for winter break and stuff-"

you felt your heart skip a beat. to be honest part of the reason you were nervous about abby asking you this was because you were second-guessing yourself and your relationship. you hadn't even been together for a full year at this point, and even if you knew you loved her and that she adored you, you didnt want to be the one to bring up this thing she does with people she's known for years and get your heart damaged.

"and i wanted to invite you to go with us because i just know youd make it feel so much more special."

"i feel like a 'but' goes at the end of that sentence."

she rubs her head into your shoulder more, kissing at the soft and wet skin of your shoulder blade.

"i didn't tell you much. about my fight with owen. but everyone knows we haven't been talking much, but he's still been my friend since elementary, and i was hoping that maybe during the trip we could resolve things. but if he ever said something to you or about you i think id go fucking crazy."

your turn around and hold her head in your hands. her body is still slumped so her head is more at your level and her pretty blue eyes stare right into yours.

"i appreciate that. your slight anger issues make me feel honored." a smile quirks on her face and she nuzzles her head into your palms more. "and as much as he pisses me off, i don't know how i feel about causing a greater rift between you and your friends. ive only been with you less than a hear, he's known you for-"

"year or not doesn't matter. you mean...so much to me i can't put into words. the only reason i was nervous all day was that i didnt know how to make this sound like i wasn't putting him before you because i wouldn't. ever."

you look at her a bit longer, swiping away wet pieces of her hair back from her face so you can see all of her. because she's looking at you like she can do the same.

you both take an intimate shower without a word, helping the other bathe and lather her hair in apricot shampoo she's become addicted to. once you exit, dry off, and change into some matching fluffy pajamas she bought for you both, you finally head back to the kitchen to eat your food before turning on a movie.

it was only because you both decided to choose some random movie that the stupid thought crossed into your mind.

"could you imagine if we were that touchy all the time? we're already halfway there and it drives your friends nuts." you poked her cheek while you were resting on her, her arm wrapped around your shoulders while your legs intertwined on the couch.

"what do you mean?"

"just like, overdoing it. always with an arm around the other, making eyes across the room. if you wanna get extreme you could carry me on your back."

"or i could carry you on my front."

the shift of her hips and the tone of her voice makes you turn your head to look at her, nearly busting out laughing at the way her eyes are glued to the screen while she chews on her lower lip.

"stop doing that."

"doing what? im watching the movie. watch the movie with me."

"this is just like on the plane. y'know i was kidding about the exhibitionist thing at first-"

"baby, please."

"please what?"

she groaned while you just giggled at her, moving your bodies so she was sitting up on the couch and you were on top of her, adjusting your hips so you were straddling her waist.

"what're you thinking about, bunny?"

a subtle whine escaped from her throat and you smirked in triumph. there was nothing your girl loved more than being called the softest and cutest pet names, and you would frequently use it to your advantage, like the time when she refused to help you cheat on a test 'on principle' and you rested your face on her thigh from under the desk with a 'please, princess?' and she happily gave you the answers after roughly grinding herself on your tongue.

"i just...maybe if we played it up at the cabin owen would finally fuck off and realize im yours. i just thought it'd be funny."

you felt a warm feeling in your chest at the thought, showing your girl all the affection she craved from you on an idyllic vacation while also showing that dick owen who's boss. maybe then he'd finally let whatever his issue with you go. or not. at this point you didnt care.

"ok. we can do it."

"what? are you serious? i was half joking. i don't wanna make you do anything you don't want to-"

you cut off her sweet rambles with a press of your lips to hers. her arms brought you in closer until your breasts were squished into hers.

when abby texted the group chat the next morning next to you in bed to let the others know you'd be joining, you couldn't help but feel warm at the replies.

manny : thank god, i need a drinking partner since no one ever wants irish hot chocolate

leah : because the last time you made it you got drunk by five pm and kept singing baby its cold outside while doing both parts

jordan : and badly

manny : haters

nora : omg thank god

nora : this is all because of me btw

nora : tell y/n we're gonna have sooo much fun

manny : wait is she gonna ski

jordan : stop.

you giggled at your friends' antics. you were already imagining all the crazy things that would happen on the trip and happily listened to all the stories abby had to tell you.

mel : cant wait for the trip! hoping ben's is still open.

owen : 👍🏻

a snort escaped from you. "oh hes so pissed."

"definitely." abby agreed before turning the phone off and snuggling into your neck to relax for a little while longer. "prepare, he's probably just gonna get angrier from our masterful plan."

"technically my plan. and are you sure you still wanna do it? i don't wanna drive a wedge between you guys."

"he started that at that party. either he's gonna deal with me changing for the better or im gonna leave him in the dust. now shush, im going to sleep."

your hand smooths through abby's locks as she drifts back into sleep, and you soon follow her into it, dreaming of pale snow and the sight of the slopes.

the nex two weeks before break starts you're horrifically busy, finishing up some tests while also buying and packing everything you'll need for the trip. which is really just an excuse for you to get a bunch of those cute thick sweaters you saw on ebay but that's neither here nor there.

once your last class was finished abby immediately called an uber to take you to the airport, citing that as the host she always headed to the cabin earlier than everyone else to fix it up and stock up on little things, everyone would need or forget like extra blankets and lots and lots of water. during the trip to the airport, waiting in the airport since you were both 'get there hours before the flight' girls, and on the flight itself, abby was telling you stories of the cabin and what has happened on the past few trips that you should know about.

apparently, the cabin (in aspen, which you teased her was so basic) was bought by her grandparents (more teasing) for family trips when her dad was little. but as his siblings got older and started their own families the trips dwindled down, until his parents decided to just leave the place to him, telling him not to sell it for anything since it was worth a fat load of cash by now. hed take abby and her mom there before she passed, and then once she turned sixteen told her he trusted her enough to bring her friends up there if they could.

"honestly, i think it was part of him being nice and feeling sad we didn't spend much time together then. we were still mourning and he was always working." she sinks into her first-class seat, sipping on her complimentary ginger ale can. "but we're better now, and i get to have a laid-back vacation with my friends every year."

"sounds like a win-win to me. traumatic way you got there and all."

"you of all people saying that is hilarious, truly."

a few hours of talking and napping later and you've landed in colorado, a rental car waiting for you in the airport parking lot.

"abs, you are so secretly bougie. like, why didn't you rent a private car that time yours was in the shop and we were stuck in the rain downtown?"

"it's for emergencies and the necessary."

driving through the roads of aspen snowmass is something close to magical. at this point, the sun has set and the twinkling lights of the villages are everywhere, and you can see a plethora of christmas decorations inside shop windows.

when abby parks outside of the cabin your jaw is close to dropping, and you have to hold it up once you step inside. there was obviously a lot of wood, making up the floors, walls, and beams that connect both. but it was also decorated with relaxed brown and cream furniture.

"i want you to know if we get married, im not signing a prenup."

abby cackles before sneaking up behind you and tickling your waist, cackling at your shriek followed by a scowl.

"'if' babe, really? nice to know you're so committed."

"i'll be more committed if you give me a tour of this place."

the cabin was big, of course. enough bedrooms for your whole group and a few more. you honestly couldn't pick your favorite. there was a game room with a pool table you were just itching to beat jordan and leah at, a hot tub outside on the deck looking down onto the village that looked like the perfect place to drink champagne with nora talking shit about her recent ex.

"now, this is what i really wanted you to see," abby smiles before pushing open a wide set of doors on the upper floor and revealing to you the grand bedroom. there's a giant bed against the back wall, with a warm little nook tucked into a bay window.

"it's so nice here abs, really. i can't wait for everyone to get here so we can start doing stuff." you drop your bags by the front of the bed and flop your behind onto it, loving the way it bounces you up and down a bit. and you can tell that abby also loves it by the way she's staring at the way your boobs jiggle.

"im glad you like it, baby. but we don't have to wait for the others to get here to have some fun." a pervy little smile lights up her face and she starts inching towards you, making stupid little grabby hands as she does so.

"you're insatiable. aren't we supposed to be making sure this place is ready for everyone else?"

"wasn't it your idea for us to play everything up for fun? that includes sex. a lot of it. strap-ons are allowed on planes, by the way. and other things."

"...seriously?"

"seriously."

at this point, her arms are caging you into the plush of the comforter, and you don't know whether to look at the veins in her arms or her eyes or her mouth-

"you're staring, pretty."

"well you're all i can see, gorgeous."

she presses a soft kiss to the underside of your chin, her tounge poking out to lick down your neck.

"god, abs, please."

"please what?"

you groan and she just laughs at you.

the hardest part of being a switch was that abby could just throw shit back in your face when she became more dominant. it was both infuriating and arousing.

“im not gonna say it."

"you sure?" her large hand slips beneath the band of your pants until its resting over your underwear, teasing you.

"yes i a-am!" your refusal is cut off when two of her thick fingers slide inside of you, filling you up in the most delicious way. it doesn't help your case that there's no restriction, the wetness between your thighs letting her know just how much you were enjoying this.

"y'know, your master plan isn't exactly gonna work if you have an attitude with me, baby." her words are gravelly as she speakes into the crease of your neck, occasionally looking up at you to ingrain your reactions into her memory.

"god, abs."

"this is one the things i love most about you acting like a brat, just means i get to fuck and love on you until it goes away. and i've got all the time in the fuckin world."

just when you start getting close to your orgasm, you could've sworn in the distance you heard the sound of a door opening before closing a few minutes later. the feeling of abby kissing you and adding a third finger inside of you. you decided to just drop it

later on, after a nice long shower and putting on this cute warm sweater you bought, you and abby decided it was time to head out and get enough groceries to last for around two weeks until everyone else would arrive and decide what meals they would want after. it was very entertaining to watch abby standing in a fluorescently lit market aisle decide if she wanted to make a giant chicken pot pie or some creamy chicken soup one of her teammates told her about. she just stuck her tongue out when you looked at her.

once you returned to the cabin you could hear some music coming from inside the house, and despite your initial worry abby just smiled and rushed inside, your brain seriously wondering if you had chosen correctly romantically.

you headed inside with a few of the bags, setting them on the kitchen counters before heading to the source of the music that appeared to be coming from the living room. once you cross the threshold you are happily surprised to see your girlfriend and manny talking and laughing in the middle of the room.

"ah! nice to know abs hasn't broken you already." manny comes over to give you a big hug before setting you down and shaking your shoulders, just laughing when you start smacking his hands.

"jeez, what is with you guys? be normal."

"you forget im abby's roommate. this is because of you. you gave me this trauma."

you roll your eyes before patting him on the shoulder.

"ok, ok. why did you come early? when do the others get here?" abby asks from her place still on the couch.

"what, i cant just come because i love and miss two of my best friends."

the room is silent as you both stare at him.

"well just so you know, that was half true. but also," he looks down a dark hallway before tugging you closer to the couch so he can speak quietly. "mel and owen are here."

you blink. "thats...odd."

"very odd, but maybe it's a good thing? who knows, maybe owen's gotten over the whole fight and wants to put it to bed." abby turns to you, those big blue eyes filled with hope that you don't have the heart to squash with a joke.

"yeah, maybe."

"well if he did do that, i don't think he's in the mood for it now." manny chuckles.

"why not?"

"he was confused to see a car in the driveway, so he came by two hours ago and left like two minutes later. his face was as red as a tomato, you know how he looks when he's flushed."

oh my god.

you turned to abby and her cheeks were puffed, a clear sign she was trying not to laugh.

well, it looks like your plan was already working.

the next three days were more laid back, just spent taking a chance to relax and sleep in after your grueling semester. you decided to spend these days exploring more of the cabin, admiring all of the rooms and the random really pretty art pieces on some of the walls.

you swore that nothing could beat the bliss you felt on that second day, waking up to the faint sun in your eyes and abby gently snoring next to you, deciding to cook up a bunch of waffles, one of the meals you excelled at, and read a four hundred page book on the sofa.

(the plan was still in motion at this point, just more tame.

once jordan, leah, and nora came things really took a turn for the exciting. after hearing that you'd been cooped in the house these past few days, leah insisted you come with them to some bars and other hot spots around town. you hadn't been drinking much lately but figured that since you were surrounded by people you trusted and a bunch of strangers you'd be able to handle yourself.

and you did.

for the most part.

you just weren't expecting the bartender to be the chillest girl you've ever met and make a killer strawberry daiquiri, because before you knew it they were playing some old-school song over the speakers and were hanging off of leah's arm like a koala.

"oh my god, im so glad you invited me out. this place rules. have you tried the daiquiris? serenity said she'd make me one more but you can have it."

"her name is trinity, and you're getting touchy. where's abs?"

you shrug and she shakes her head, looking over your shoulders to see if she can spot the hulking blonde. she waves someone over and then abby is in your vision, a soft expression on her face as she tugs your body into hers.

"how much have you had to drink, baby?"

"mmmm, not too much. i could walk in a gay line. look, i even made a corny joke!"

"yes, you did." she squats down a little bit and you wrap your arms around her neck and your legs around her waist, trying to restrain yourself from making any noises when she lifts you with ease to the amusement of some of the people in the bar.

"how about we head back and take a long bath, pretty. ill even try those rose face masks you bought."

you were about to agree when out of the corner of your eye you catch owen, sitting inside a booth with jordan and manny, sparing looks in your direction.

you smirk down at her and she can already guess what you're thinking, tightening her grip on your hips.

"or we can do that later. and dance now."

you nod and loosen your legs for her to drop you but she just holds you tighter for a moment, leaning her head up to place a heated kiss on your lips before pulling away, fighting to ignore the tiny string of spit that connects your lips to hers.

"ok. now we can dance."

abby told you the next day that owen had asked to talk to her one on one in the morning and she didn't really understand what it meant. he apologized for lashing out at her, apparently, but still didnt agree with some of the 'drastic changes to her personality' that were happening lately.

you really tried to promise her that you wouldn't cuss him out, telling you she'd handle it later after having a conversation with manny to figure out when the hell he started acting like this.

focus on tried.

you and nora were in the kitchen that night making cups of hot chocolate, taking the chance to top them with all the stuff you weren't allowed to as a child. also probably increasing your risks of cavities, but whatever, it was nostalgic. you were laughing at the absurd abundance of whipped cream in her mug and the three candy canes in yours when you heard footsteps coming into the kitchen, looking over to see owen looking over some things in the fridge.

you looked at nora. she looked at you.

"so owen, how are things going with mel?"

his hand pauses over some leftover noodles, gripping it with a fist.

"we're great actually, thanks for asking norsie."

noras eye twitches, bumping into your shoulder before leaving the room to rest in the kitchen and wait for you before starting a movie.

owen turns and suddenly its just the two of you. staring at each other. you with a three-caned hot cocoa and he with a tupperware of linguine.

"what's your fucking problem."

his eyebrows shoot up, almost like he wasn't expecting you to actually bring up the tension at hand.

"y/n, is this really the time-"

"yes, it is the goddamn time to ask you why you've been acting like a dick to me and my girlfriend."

his mouth quirks downwards and you nearly laugh at the realization of the words, the glances, how he would look at abby sometimes like a kicked puppy even when his damn girlfriend sat on his lap, it was all because he couldn't move the fuck on.

"seriously? that's the reason? you've been putting me, putting abby through hell because you're still hung up over her? this is my worst gay nightmare."

"it's because ever since she's been with you shes been different, always acting like she's some better person now that she's over me. like i was the thing holding her back. how do you think that makes me feel, huh?"

you stare at him after his quiet outburst, his face that signature shade of pink and his eyes enraged. but he doesn't scare you.

you walk closer to him, entertained by the way she avoids you like the plague, and presses his back into the refrigerator. you want to lash out more, to scream at him until your throat is sore, to whisper all the little flaws about him you've noticed over the past year that are driving everyone away, but you won't.

"i hope it makes you feel like the heap of shit you are. goodnight, moore."

when abby feels you snuggle into her later that night, feeling your hands squeeze into her stomach from behind you, she asks if everything is ok, and you press a kiss to her cheek and tell her to go back to sleep.

the next morning it's christmas eve, and everyone is in the dining room eating breakfast and talking about how everyone somehow has no plans when you make a suggestion for the day.

"i wanna go hit the slopes today."

you swear most of them look at you like you've grown another head that just started trying to sing the tequila song.

manny continues chewing his eggs before giving you a thumbs up, but you can tell he's secretly been waiting for this. after you first met he asked you if you've ever skied again after your accident and then dropped it when you gave him a death glare. but since you've gotten closer he knows more about how it's not that you can't ski, but almost as if there was a mental block that stopped you from doing so.

"uhm...sure. i can see if we can do that. are you sure you want to?" abby rests her arms on the table and leans her head into yours, trying to give a sense of privacy for your answer.

"i'm not made of glass, abby. it's about time i get back out there. its the only way i'll known for sure about what my dad said."

"what'd your dad say?" mel speaks up from the opposite side of the table, her hand rested over owen's on top of the wood.

you straighten your shoulders. "some stupid doping scandal got the olympics postponed, and my dad said if i wanter he thinks he could get me back in shape by then to apply."

"holy shit! i mean, it's your choice obviously, but that's cool as hell. i think you should do it." jordan exclaims, sipping on his orange juice through a straw.

"wait, what about your leg? you've only had problems with it a couple of times, but is it alright enough to go ski?" nora asks. she was the one who besides abby you've told the most about your skiing problems, and once took you to the pharmacy to pick up your pain meds like it was no hassle.

"it's better if i don't push myself too much, but the blue and reds should be a piece of cake."

you look at abby, and even though she has no idea why you've had this sudden change of heart, she can hear the subtle excitement in your voice and nods her head at you with a smile.

thanks to everyone always waking up at the break of dawn for some reason, you're checked in to the slopes and ready to go only three hours later. jordan and manny even decided to join you and try their hands at the bunny slopes, the rest of the group deciding to find somewhere to sit and relax while they watched you all.

"mama please, you're embarrassing me." manny groans while you tilt his head from side to side to make sure all of the straps for his helmet and goggles are secure. you weren't about to have him getting a concussion and blaming you for bringing him here or the workers for their sloppy job.

"no one knows better ski safety than me. now shush, I'm almost done."

once you were finished you gently smacked his head and headed to the side of where the slope ends, abby beaming at you from over the rail. she was wearing this cute little beanie she bought for the trip and this all-black bomber jacket that made her look so much bigger than she already is.

"hello? babe, did you hear what i said?" abby's hand waves in front of your face bringing you back to focus. you slowly blink and she shakes her head. "you're so weird."

"again, i get that from you."

"whatever." her gloved hand rests on your face and she brings you closer so she can press a soft kiss onto your lips. when she tries to pull away but your arms are wrapping around her neck and pulling her body into yours, starting an impromptu makeout session before jordans wolf call yanks you out of it.

her fingers reach up to push a strand of hair back into your helmet. "are you sure you'll be ok up there? if your leg hurts just pull over to the side and i'll try to come up and help you-"

you cut her off with another kiss. "i'll be fine, princess. don't worry about me. just worry about all those losers I'm gonna show up."

she laughs that cute and loud little laugh of hers and sends you off, waving to you multiple times when she sees you go up the lift.

once you are at the top you go over everything again, making sure all of your equipment is snug, the track in front of you is good, and your skis are tight and before you know it you're standing at the top of the slope breathing heavy and feeling like you're about to have a panic attack.

your head feels like it's on fire and you swear that you are close to passing out when someone taps on your shoulder. you turn around and it's some teen by his face unobstructed by the goggles, a go-pro attached to his helmet.

"hey, sorry if i'm being annoying but, you're y/n l/n right?"

you nod, hoping he can't see the strained expression on your face.

"i just wanted to say that i think you're like, so cool. i saw that video of you training for the super g at thirteen and it changed my life, seriously."

your head felt a bit better at the memory. the adrenaline you got skiing down slopes at top speeds and then dodging the flags your father asked the owners if he could put on the track to help you train. they were nice people, and even let you pick what flags you wanted. a mix of pink and black.

"thank you. i swore that training took everything out of me. but at least i didn't have to worry about how i was doing in algebra."

he laughs and bobs his head. he clears his throat before slightly hopping on his two feet.

"you ok, kid?"

"yes, yeah, i just... ya see i have this youtube channel where i post videos of me riding down the slopes, helping beginners, trying the harder slopes, and stuff like that." he taps the go bro on his helmet. "and i was wondering if you wanted to do like, a friendly little race? i don't know, you don't have to i know you're leg is probably still healing, i can just go if you wa-"

"i'll do it."

his eyes bulge, surprised at your answer. you have to admit you're slightly surprised too. you weren't planning on doing anything more than inching your way down the intermediate slope a few times, but the memory of the super g has energy suddenly rushing through you. besides, it'd be a nice distraction from everything else. your dad. owen. you.

when you both get to the edge of the slope, you let him know you'll give him a twenty-second head start before you follow. he nods, and a few seconds later you're skiing for the first time in years.

and it feels fucking great.

at the speeds you are going the wind is whipping across the unprotected parts of your face, the stinging cold keeping you focused as you turn around trick hills and get your legs used to the feeling of slight strain. but your legs feel fine, and that makes you feel even better.

before long you can see the kid ahead of you and your friends in the close distance, nora's red coat bobbing up and down as she cheers for you. only five seconds after you pass your fan and can hear his slight spluttering before you're bringing your skis to a stop and the ice is flying from underneath them.

your heart is pounding as the kid, who tells you his name is aidan, thanks you for 'kicking his ass, i swear it'll get so many views". he tells you he'll tag you, and you do him one better by saying you'll follow him back and you're a little scared he's about to have a heart attack before he leaves to check in with his parents.

"oh my god oh my god oh my god! that was so fucking cool! i really thought you were gonna wipe out there for a second but I'm glad you didn't." leah squeezes your body in a hug rocking you from side to side. "are you gonna go again? if you do i swear I'll put on some skis and go down the bunny slope."

you throw your head back with a laugh, imagining leah slowly going down the snow while pizza and french frying her skis. you bask in the compliments given to you by nora who was watching the whole time and manny who tells you he successfully completed the green slope with no falls or bumps. you feel the urge to talk to abby, to have her tell you she's proud of you when you see her near one of the equipment cabins, talking to owen.

"are you gonna go again or do you wanna stop for the day?"

you look at nora with a grin. "yeah, i'll go again."

later that night, after a few more hours of racing your friends and even seeing a few more fans who recognized you, even one lady who said she remembered you based on your form, everyone is headed back to the house to end the day after getting some drink from the community lodge

for some reason, abby hasn't talked to you since, and based on what you saw you're preparing for the damn worst. a small part of you knows you might be overreacting, that there's no way she would fall for the bullshit more had to say to her, but her avoidance of you isn't helping that little part take charge.

like she could read your mind, she's on your tail and following you into your bedroom, taking off her clothes as you do the same but still no word before you head into the shower. under the heat of the water, you rest your head on the wall and close your eyes to try to center yourself. you know abby, you know how much she's done for you. owen wasn't going to get in the way of that and you refused to let him.

you dry yourself off, brush your teeth, moisturize your body, and decide not to put on your pajamas and just this cute robe abby bought for you before leaving the bathroom. after turning off the lights you stop in your tracks, abby sitting on the side of the bed and staring at you.

your feet slowly carry you closer to her before she rolls her eyes and tugs you onto her lap. your face is neutral, even when you can feel the bulge inside of her sweatpants. you tilt your head and she replicates it.

"let me guess, you got an attitude again?"

"you're a fucking hypocrite."

"wh?" her face jerks back in confusion. "what are you talking about?"

"don't play fucking dumb with me abigail. biggest personal growth moment for me in forever and you spend it talking to your damn ex, who if you didn't catch it is still hung up on you, by the way."

"i know, just let me explain-"

"no, i don't want to know. if you're just doing all this as some fucked up way to let me down gently i swear to god-"

you get cut off when one of her hands moves from your waist to cover your mouth, her eyes drooping when you nip at her palm.

"stop it. you know i wouldn't do something that shitty to you, please stop being so paranoid." she waits to gauge your reaction before she decides that you aren't likely to cut her off, softly rubbing at the skin under your eye. "please don't cry."

"im not gonna cry."

"just wanted to make sure. because i care about you, and that's what i was letting owen know that when he was being a jealous dick about you skiing earlier. told him I'm this close to kicking him to the curb for good."

"wait really? what'd he say? i bet he was pissed when i skied over that stuck stump, probably wishes i rode over it and fucking broke my back."

"jeez, you really do despise him." she shakes her head, smiling and rubbing her hands on your thighs. "but yes, he was wondering if maybe now that you were fine to ski you were trying to upstage me or something."

"and do you? and why were you ignoring me?"

she sighed. "literally the opposite. you're just...so amazing, and funny, and talented, and i just know soon you'll be this olympian and wont wanna deal with me and my dumb ex anymore."

"i mean, i am amazing you're right about that," you brag, giggling when she pinches you. "but i'd deal with anything to be with you. i don't even have the words. i wouldn't have gotten on that slope without you always pushing me, despite how annoying i may find it."

abby's' face is beaming and suddenly she's kissing you like you're air, leaning back into the bed so you can hover over her. she stops kissing you just to move her ministrations to all over your face, repeating little 'i love you's' as she does so, reveling in the little hums that leave your throat.

"ok, are we done being sappy so we can fuck now?" your question ends in a squeak when her palm slaps your ass. you look at her with a glare and she just dopily smiles at you, gripping your hips to flip you underneath her.

"y'know, owen and mel picked the room right next to ours." she grinds her hips into yours, the friction of the strap rubbing against you heightened since your robe was riding up to show her bare cunt.

"god, you want me to be loud, don't you?"

"mmhm." she grins as her hand moves down to push the band of her pants down, the feeling of the toy grinding out forcing you to bite your lip to hide your moan, embarrassed by how quickly she could make you want it. her thumbs moves to pull your lip from between your teeth.

she continues humping you until she can see you're wet enough to slide in, looking for your nod to push the strap into you, groaning as it just slides in.

"y/n, we barely did any foreplay-"

"shut up, please shut up."

for some reason she takes that as a sign to start thrusting, reveling in your moans as they finally start to pick up volume. you try to bite the back of your hand when she pulls it away, holding it in hers and holding it above your head. the action is so sweet it almost makes you cry, instead thrusting your head up to press a sweet kiss to her lips.

"mm, love when you're all sweet like this honey. wanna stay like this forever, love you so fuckin much i swear to god." she accentuates her last couple of words with short but harsh thrusts that knock the breath out of your lungs. your orgasm is fast approaching at this rate, and she can tell by the way your eyes are fluttering and your hand is squeezing hers.

"you gonna cum? huh? gonna cum all over me baby?" you nod your head, not trusting the words and sounds that are coming out of your throat. she moves her hand down to rub at your clit and suddenly your stomach is pulsing and your orgasm is hitting you like a truck, abby's following after yours as she's groaning into your neck and thrusting harder to grind the base of the strap into her clit.

it takes a minute for both of you to calm down, the bliss overtaking the both of you.

"was...was that loud enough?" you whisper and feel her silent laugh on top of you, rubbing your leg over the back of hers.

she pushes her head up enough to look you in the eyes, and you really regret asking the question because she's got that dumb-ass smile back on her face and shaking her head.

only a few minutes later she's got you on all fours, leg propped up as she forces your hips back and forth on her dick. and then after that she makes you ride her, and then the position she knows you're obsessed with: her fucking you while standing up.

"a-abs! abby! oh my god!" your throat is sore as her fingers grip the meat of your thighs, the force of her bouncing you and thrusting her hips up getting you closer and closer to euphoria. your eyes are closed and your head is tilted back, doing anything to avoid the way she's looking at you like you're some goddess she's been blessed to witness.

"just a little bit more baby. cmon, tell me how much you love it."

"i do! fuck abby, love it so much."

"love what, honey? you can do it, know you can. god you're so perfect."

your mind is hazy with the feeling of the strap hitting that sensitive spot inside of you with every bounce of your hips and her words that you barely even register her demand, groaning when she bites at one of your tits that have been bouncing in her face.

"tell me what you love. please, please tell me."

"nghh, love you abby! fuckin love your dick so much!"

"that's it, thaaat's it pretty girl. let everyone you're mine, that i'm yours-"

you're pretty sure she kept talking after that, but the rush of your orgasm deafens every sound and lights your body on fire, only able to feel the high and the cum leaking down your thighs. you go in and out of consciousness but come back to when you're both back in bed, abby pulling you onto her chest and she rubs a soft hand down your back.

"love you." you mumble, snuggling into the warmness of her.

"i love you too, y/n."

"'m sorry about earlier."

"me too. promise that i'll tell you whenever i'm feeling down. or when i'm dealing with a douche."

"me too."

you get the best night's sleep you've had in years.

in the morning everyone seems ecstatic for the holiday, ready to share their gifts with each other after breakfast. you decide to join in helping to cook, which gets you a crazy accusation from jordan saying your helping is just 'sitting on the counter so abby has something to look at while you drink a mimosa". whatever. abby is standing between your thighs and talking to you about her new workout schedule when owen and manny walk into the room, manny bidding you a sly 'good morning' with a smirk as owen grabs water from the fridge.

"hey owes, can you hand me one?" abby asks, her fingers drumming on your thigh as she uses the other to catch the bottle he tosses to her with a polite smile. your eyes are following the action suspiciously before abby is for some reason keeping a grip on the middle of the bottle as she opens it so the liquid spurts onto a bit of her shirt.

"ugh, abs! wait a second." you start to move off the counter when she holds your hips down.

"its fine, babe. i'm used to things squirting on me, anyway."

your face scrunches up as you smack her in the shoulder, your face hot as you hear jordan and manny cackling like hyenas and owen chugs down his water. abby just presses a loud kiss on your cheek.

other than your friends constantly teasing you, nora whispering a 'love shack' in your ear when she walks behind you in the living room, the day really is perfect. when the sun sets everyone is exchanging the gifts they got for each other. leah got jordan some necklace he's had his eyes on, manny bought mel some earmuffs after hers broke a month ago. some of them teased you for having surprisingly thoughtful gifts despite having a heart of only half-thawed ice, making you only reply that you weren't past taking the gifts back.

and then you open the gift abby got you and nearly cry; a custom snow globe, inside two mini figures dancing on a mountain of snow, one wearing skis and the other wearing skates. the she almost does the same with the corny 'cooking for two' book you bought her and the limited edition version of her favorite novel.

its a night full of warmth and laughter, and once it ends you find yourself standing out on the balcony, looking out at the lit lights of the village and the lifts on the slopes. your phone is in your hand and you open the text messages to your dad.

tell everyone i said merry christmas. its going to take me time to mentally heal enough to train. but if you're willing to do it with me then i'm in.

"hey, it's fucking freezing out here." abby opens the slide-apart door and comes up beside you, wrapping her arms around you to look out at the view with you. "are you ok?"

you sigh, turning to admire her. the redness of her cheeks, the tiny snowflakes in her hair. the way she's looking at you.

you nod your head.

"i'm on top of the world."

fics keep getting longer to overcompensate allah take me now. spent so much of yesterday aka my birthday writing this omg but it was so fun to write a more developed reader. uhhh idk stream cobra by megan.

[paladin--strait]

Here Is the request as asked!

It was that Matt Rempe and the reader were in a long distance relationship, she flies over which he knows about. But she goes to watch one of his games, afterwards she walks into the locker room with a baggy jersey on and a mini skirt (obviously it has Remps name and number on the back).

How would he react? 🤣

i hope this is okay! let me know if you want me to rewrite it! ❤️

-

matt and i's relationship grew after we met when the rangers came to play the new jersey devils. he saw me wearing a jonas siegenthaler jersey, sitting on the nearest row to the ice.

when matt knocked jonas out with a high elbow, skated over to me, he smiled and laughed, pointing at me from the other side of the glass. my eyes widened in confusion and a bit of fear at his actions.

when a staff member came up to me after the game and handed me a pass to meet the rangers players after the game, i looked at the her with confusion. "i'm not here for the rangers, sorry." i don't accept the pass and hand it back to her.

"miss, one of the rangers players wants to meet you. please, follow me." she hands me the pass again, insisting i come with her. i sigh and follow her, down a hallway and past a bunch of reporters, waiting to get in to meet the players for post game interviews.

when the staff brought me into the locker room for the rangers, she pointed at matt rempe and told me that he was the one who requested to see me. i look at him and make eye contact, his black eye staring back at me as i walk towards him.

"so, did you like that elbow i got on siegenthaler earlier?" he smirks out at me. "saw you in his jersey, and i knew i needed you to be a rangers fan. and to make it even better, wearing my jersey."

i scoff. "hurting my favorite hockey player isn't going to win me over, ya know." i smart mouth back at him, rolling my eyes.

matt then made a comment about me being feisty, and that he needed to find another way to win me over. he offers to take me out that night in an attempt to win me over, and it took some convincing, but he finally managed to take me out for dinner and drinks.

he eventually brought me over to become a rangers fan, or what i called the dark side for a long time. matt and i became friends and eventually more, but the distance between us became a problem very quickly. matt and i are both clingy. when we finally get to see each other, we can't keep our hands off of the other.

we facetime every morning and every night, even if one is too tired to stay awake. we fall asleep on the phone if we have to. so when i had enough of the late night and early morning calls, i booked a plane ticket to new york.

after the flight, when i land in new york, i walk out of the small, cramped hallway and walk to baggage claim. matt told me he would be waiting there, but i didn't know that he would bring some of the guys with him to meet me. i smile and we run at each other, giving each other the biggest hug.

after a while of hugging each other so tightly we could barely breathe, we let go and give each other a kiss. i hear my name being called and look behind matt to see igor and artemi. i smile and hug them too. we smile and talk a bit before matt grabs my bags for me and we leave.

-

the next day, matt has a game at MSG. i tell him i'll be there and i'll see him at the arena after the game. but while he's gone all day to rest at the gym in the arena, using the hot tubs and the physical therapy to help him warm up for the game like he always does, i'm sleeping in his comfortable bed that smells like him.

after i wake up, i spend my time at home before the game getting ready. taking a shower and after that doing my makeup and hair. before i get dressed, i have two hours left before the game starts, so i don't get changed just yet. i use the extra time to put my things away for while i stay in new york.

when it's time to get ready, i throw on my rempe jersey and a short skirt, it reaches above my knees. matt told me once on the phone that he loved this skirt. he saw it on my instagram post from a girls night out about a year ago. it's blue, with two white stripes at the bottom and it matches the jersey perfectly.

i take an uber to the game, arriving just in time for the players family members, partners, and friends, all with passes, to go in. i flash my pass to the security, and he lets me in. i walk up to the VIP booth and say hello to some of the WAGS that i haven't seen in a while. i text matt, letting him know i'm here and i'm in a vip booth.

he texts me to wave at him when he come out on the ice during warmups and that he loves me. when i see him skate out a few minutes later, i raise my hand, waving at him and he waves back at me. i smile and giggle, watching him skate in circles like a ballerina during warmups.

-

after the game, i show my pass to the security once more and they let me into the locker room. i walk over to matt, who's tying his sneakers. "hey there. good job out there." i smile and giggle when he jumps like i scared him.

"hey...holy fuck, thank you." he says, standing and hugging me. "i don't think i've ever played that much. my body hurts so fucking bad..." he kinda leans his weight on me with his arms wrapped around my waist.

i smile and pat his wet hair from the shower he just took, kissing his cheek. "it was well deserved playing time, babe. you played so good." i pull away, kissing his forehead and smiling at him.

i see his eyes rake over my body, eyes wide when he sees my skirt. "that's the one i love so much..." he makes eye contact with me, grinning happily. "god...it looks so fucking good on you...even better in person..." he smirks slightly, placing his hands on my hips and pulling me closer to his body.

"careful big boy..." i whisper, laughing. "we're not alone in here." he nods and rolls his eyes at my words, but still smiling at me. i smile and kiss his lips, leaning close to her ear, "you can take it off of me later, if you want."

i pull away from his ear and look at his now wide eyes. he suddenly pulls away, beginning to pack his things as quickly as possible. i laugh, "matt, honey, what are you doing?"

"i'm packing my things so we can leave." his voice is serious, but my laughs make him break, bursting into laughter too. his teammates look at us weirdly when our loud laughter fills the room. "gotta get that cute little skirt off of you as soon as possible." he smiles at me, grabbing his bags and taking my hand, leading me out of the locker room after saying his goodbyes to his teammates.

matt is never the first player to leave the locker room and arena after a game, especially after a win. but that night, matt had a reason to leave, and it was you. matt scored twice that night, once on the ice, and once with you.

[moirindeclermont]

Sunday!!! Today's Polin's first time we didn't see is about meeting an ex. This was born thanks to a nice conversation with @spaceorphan18

We have still 8/9 episodes of this to enjoy, so if you have requests, this is the time!!

They are traveling in Spain, and everything is sun and sea! She loves being around the world with Colin. They are walking through the street of Barcelona, when she heards someone (a female someone) saying "Colin Bridgerton!".

They both turn and she see a lovely woman, a bit older than her, wild red curls and a very heavy bosom who threats to spill. The mysterious woman also looks at her, interested.

"Ms. Rosalie," Colin greets her, kissing her hand in a gentleman fashion.

"May I present you Ms. Penelope Bridgerton, my wife?" He say with a beautiful smile and Ms.Rosalie I spooking at him with a bright smile. "Nice to finally meet you, Ms. Bridgerton. I heard so many things about you."

"Pen, this is Ms. Rosalie. A old... Acquaintance of mine."

Pen looks at him, a teasing smile on her face.

"I can imagine what your acquaintance was all about..."

Ms Rosalie just laugh. "You told me she was a smart cookie. Why don't you two can me into my house, I can serve you tea?"

And before Colin can say something, they find themselves in this very nice house almost right in the middle of the city.

The two women talk for a bit, Colin dying from embarrassment, but then Pen saves him. "Colin, I'm not mad. I just didn't expect you to have a type," she says and Rosalie laugh again. "Right? At least, we know he has great taste."

They pass a nice afternoon, and then they go back to their hotel.

"Thank you for not telling her you already knew everything from my diaries," he says, and she just shrugs "it's the bare minimum. Beside, I'm happy to give a face to a name, finally"

He just shakes his head.

"I'm yours for the night. Whatever you want to do."

"That's a big ask, husband. I'll let you know soon"

Soon, turns out, it's three hours later.

Pen meets him with a black nightgown that he is sure he's never seen before.

She looks at him and says "I want to sit on your face, and I want to pleasure you at the same time".

He is just in the bed so fast he is almost dizzy.

A moment after, Pen is getting down on him and he can't wait to start.

He loves doing this for her, she is towering over him, taking her pleasure.for a while as he uses all of his face to bring her pleasure.

After awhile, she bends and takes him out of his breeches and in her mouth. They bit get lost in the moment, one copying the other movements, until he can't take it anymore ad makes her come all over his face, just as he comes as well.

Afterwards, he asks her how she thought of it.

"You did leave me 20 minutes alone with Ms Rosalie, husband. I took very detailed notes out of her mini lecture"

Colin just laughs, he definitely has the best wife.

[toomuchracket]

soft matty you said?

(I’m too lazy to type it out again I’m sorry mads)

dylan is five, elena is three, and you're just over halfway through your pregnancy with phoebe, and when matty gets home to all of you it is literally the best thing ever. despite the long flight, he's adamant he's staying up to do the bedtime routine, which takes hours given that they've just discovered moana and have to teach him all of the songs during bathtime AND they need their curly girl routine done afterwards; that bit isn't so bad because you can just take a daughter each and do it lol. and then, once they've brushed their teeth (reluctantly, in dylan's case, because she's got wobbly teeth and she's scared to lose them, bless her) and they're all cosy in the new pyjamas daddy brought home with him (he literally cannot stop himself - any time he sees something he thinks any of his girls will like, he has to buy it), you all settle onto you and matty's bed for a bedtime story, which you had the smarts to get the girls to choose before he got home lol. dylan and elena wriggle in between you and matty and snuggle in, and matty's like "be careful next to mummy's tummy, yeah? don't wanna hurt her, or your baby sister, munchkins", and they're like "oh yeah!"; elena very softly rests her little head on your chest right next to the bump, though, cuddling into you and baba so sweetly that matty (with dylan practically curled up on his chest the way she's done since birth) gets a little bit sniffly. he recovers enough for the story, putting on silly voices for each character and making the girls giggle and getting them to help him turn the pages, but when elena suddenly gasps and says "daddy, baby kicks when you talk!" he starts crying again lol. the girls fall asleep on you and matty respectively, so you have to quietly carry them to their own rooms in turn to tuck them in and kiss them goodnight, and it's so very lovely getting to hug matty while you watch your babies sleep again - and, of course, to hug him when you get back to your own bed, and to fall asleep to him spooning you and stroking the bump and cooing "missed my girls, my loves, my darlings. glad to be home. i love you" <3

[starkstruck27]

Day 2 of @harringrove-flip-reverse-it , and I can't wait for you all to read my entry! Prompt: Trope Subversion - Arranged Marriage Title: I Don't Like Your Girlfriend Word Count: 4578 words TWs: Slight Homophobia

“Peter, you’re not going to solve whatever problem you’re trying to solve by pacing around all night, now sit down and eat your dinner before you starve!” Margie Harrington said to her husband. He’d been acting like this for days, ever since their son Steve had come for a visit and announced his big news. 

He and his partner had taken a vacation to California a couple of weeks ago, since that’s where his partner was from, and while they were there, they had gotten married. When they came back to Hawkins afterwards, they only told a select few people, and while his partner, Billy, didn’t want to tell his parents, Steve had decided to tell his. After all, it was big news, and he said he didn’t feel right keeping it from them. 

They had hidden it well, but his parents weren’t exactly thrilled about the match. Peter was a lawyer, and an important one at that, so he was obviously concerned about the family’s reputation, and to have his son marry someone from the wrong side of the tracks, especially when that someone was a man, it just didn’t look very good. Margie was just happy Steve was happy, but she also knew that eventually, Peter would try to get them to split, and she didn’t know how easily Billy would fold. She didn’t want Steve’s heart to be broken, and she didn’t want that to cause a rift between him and his father, either, but right now, there was nothing she could do.

“I’ll be there in a minute, Marjorie,” Peter called back, waving her off without even looking up. His wife sighed, but she walked away, knowing that it’d be easier to talk him out of whatever he was planning once they both knew what it was than to try and interrupt his thinking process and make him all frustrated. She went into the dining room and started eating by herself, rolling her eyes as she could hear her husband continuing to pace upstairs. 

Finally, after Margie had almost finished her meal, Peter came downstairs, a grin on his face like he had come up with a perfect plan, and started eating his cold dinner without so much as a grimace.

“Did you solve your problem, dear?” Margie asked as she cleared her plate, shaking her head a little as her husband hummed and wiped his mouth on a napkin.

“I believe I did, actually,” he said, taking a sip of wine before asking, “Stephen is twenty three now, correct?”

“Yes, why?” Margie asked, rejoining the table with her own glass of wine.

“Well, he’s just about that age to need to be on his own insurance, so here’s what we’ll do. I’ll call him and invite him to lunch so that he can sign himself off of our insurance, right? But in reality, I’ll write up divorce papers and that’ll be what he signs. I’ll figure out a way to get his friend to sign them too, and then when they inevitably split up, there’s no need for it to be a big thing, they’ll already be divorced and nobody will have to know about them being married in the first place,” Peter said, continuing to eat as he sat up, just as proud as a peacock.

“And what if they don’t end up splitting?” Margie asked.

“Then they don’t have to know. Stephen doesn’t know to look twice at whatever documents I tell him to sign, so it won’t matter! What do you think?”

“I think that you’re taking this a bit too far, Peter. There’s a lot of things you’re not considering.”

“Like what?”

“Well, for one, they’re in love, at least enough to have been together since they left high school and to then get married. And another thing, what if Billy is smart enough to look twice when you make him sign? I think you’re blowing this all out of proportion.”

“Marjorie,” Peter sighed, “I have to do something. I cannot just allow Stephen to do whatever he wants and ruin his life, our lives, and the life of his friend. And if I have to arrange their divorce for them myself, then that’s what I have to do.”

“Well, just don’t expect me to be involved,” Margie said, standing up and leaving the table as she added, “I might not agree with the way they went about things, but if Stephen is happy, then that’s all that matters to me. If this is really a mistake, he’ll figure that out eventually, but if not, I’m not going to play a part in ruining his happiness just for our own vanity, and that’s final.”

“Fine, you don’t have to be involved, but just don’t spill the beans on me, alright? I’ll do everything myself,” Peter scoffed, rolling his eyes. Whether his wife would help him or not, he was going to go through with this. His son just could not stay married to that hoodlum, and that’s all there was to it.

The next day, Peter was at his office and, in between meetings, found time to write up the divorce papers for his son. He made sure to dot every I and cross every T, and by closing time, he had everything in order. The only thing left was to call Steve and set up a lunch date. He dialed the number Steve had given them for the phone at his new place, but after a few rings, it went straight to the answering machine.

“Hey, this is Steve,” the machine said in his son’s voice, and then in another that he vaguely recognized, “And Billy.” It went back to Steve’s voice and continued, “We’re either not home right now or we’re avoiding your call. Either way, the beep’s coming, you know what to do.” The message was accentuated by the sounds of giggling and a few snickers, and Peter felt his eye twitch a little as he listened for the beep.

“Hello, Stephen, it’s your father,” he said when it came, “I was just calling to see if you would be willing to come over next weekend and have lunch with your mother and I. I, uh, have some papers I need you to sign. Nothing major, just a few forms to get you off of our insurance now that you’re a married man. Anyway, get back to me as soon as you can and we’ll hash out the details. Have a nice evening, son.”

Steve had been busy with the dishes when the call had come in, but he heard the message as his dad left it, and he couldn’t help but laugh. Billy had returned from switching the laundry just as the message ended, and he saw Steve nearly falling into the sink as he laughed, so he walked over to help dry and asked, “Henderson or Buckley?”

“What do you mean?” Steve asked, finally getting over the laughing fit.

“There’s only three people in the world that can make you laugh that hard, but I was in the other room, so that means either Henderson or Buckley called and left a message. C’mon, which one was it and what did they say that almost had you drowning in dishwater?”

“Actually, it wasn’t either of them,” Steve said, “It was my dad. He wants to have lunch with me next week. He needs me to sign something so I’m no longer on his and my mom’s insurance.”

“And that’s funny… why?” Billy asked.

“Because, I did all that months ago when I moved out of their house. I guess he never read the papers I had him sign, because apparently, he doesn’t know that, which means he’s planning something. He’s got some sort of scheme he thinks I’m gonna fall for, and I’ll bet my entire trust fund that it has something to do with splitting us up.”

“Really? Why the hell would your dad try and do something like that?”

“Because it’s not good for his image if I’m married to a man from the wrong side of the tracks. That’s gotta be his angle, because I don’t see any other reason he’d be this concerned about it. But anyway, the reason I was laughing is because he thinks it’s gonna work. He thinks I’d sign my soul away to the devil if he just asked me to, but I know better than to sign something without reading it first. But, I think I’ve got an idea.”

“For what?”

“Well, he thinks I’ll sign whatever he wants, so I’m going to, but not the way he wants.”

“Okay, I’m intrigued, what’s your plan?” Billy asked, knowing that sparkle in Steve’s eyes, and knowing that it meant mischief. 

“So, we’ll go to that lunch, and you’ll wear your best outfit, and we’ll bring Max along for moral support, and then, we’ll sign the papers,” Steve explained, his smile downright wicked.

“And how is that not doing exactly what your dad wants?”

“You’ll see,” Steve said, then added with a wink, “Oh, and I get to put your outfit together. We have to make sure you impress the folks after all.”

The next weekend came quickly, and everything was in place on both sides of the equation. Peter had the papers all ready on his desk, a pen already set on top of them, and Margie had made a fantastic lunch, one fit for kings. Steve had dressed Billy in his best outfit, a mesh crop top with simply sinful tight leather pants that showed off most of his tattoos and piercings, and they had picked Max up on their way to the house, making sure she was in her rattiest clothes, had at least four band-aids visible on her face and hands, and had her skateboard and walkman in hand. It took everything he had to keep a straight face as they walked up to the door, but he managed to keep it together and put on a neutral expression as they rang the doorbell, waiting for his mom to answer.

She had been clued in to their plan when Steve called her to tell her they’d be at the lunch, and she was all set to act accordingly with whatever they threw at her. She opened the door, smiling as she greeted them, and pretended to hide a grimace as she saw Steve walking in with Billy’s hand in his. Max didn’t say a word as she walked into the house after them, her headphones on as she walked past Margie without even a handshake, just as Peter walked in.

“And who is this young lady?” Margie asked, biting her nail as Max walked a bit too close to the living room carpet with her muddy shoes on.

“This is Maxine, we’re fostering her. Y’know, there are just so many poor kids who grow up in foster care, so we decided to do our part and try to give her a good home. The older ones tend to just age out since everybody wants the babies and toddlers, so we figured we’d give Maxine a try and see how things go,” Steve explained, smiling until Max ripped her headphones off and gave him the dirtiest look she could muster.

“It’s Max. If you can’t get it right, then don’t say it at all!” She snapped, dropping her board on the hardwood floor and starting to skate around the kitchen.

“Max, honey, we talked about this. No skating in the house,” Steve said, and Max just rolled her eyes.

“Then can I go outside?” She asked, and Steve sighed.

“Sure, but either Billy or I has to go with you,” he said, then leaned over and stage-whispered to his parents, “If we let her go by herself, she tries to run away.”

“Ugh, I hate you!” Max stomped her foot, crossing her arms as she put her headphones back on and stormed over to the couch.

“It’s a work in progress,” Steve said, following the girl’s lead and heading to the living room to sit while lunch was being finished. He relished in the barely hidden look of discomfort and disbelief on his dad’s face as he said it, having to pinch himself to keep from laughing.

“So, uh, Billy, how has married life been treating you?” Margie asked, slapping on a fake smile and pretending to be uncomfortable as she sat down across from him, Steve and Max.

“Oh, it’s great. Your son is one fantastic piece of tail, and I get to have him whenever I want!” Billy said, reaching over and pinching Steve’s ass to accentuate his point. Steve just giggled and swatted his hand away, and everyone else just laughed uncomfortably.

“And, um, what is it that you do for work?” Peter asked, and it looked like he was near a heart attack as Billy kicked his feet up on the coffee table.

“I’m currently unemployed, but I know a guy who’s been hooking me up with some decent work in sales. It’s a pretty loose gig, but it brings in a lotta dough, and I get a twenty percent employee discount, so,” he said, shrugging as he propped his arms up behind his head.

“And what exactly is it that you sell?” Peter asked, his head starting to pound.

“Oh, y’know, party supplies. Amps, sweet stuff, disco biscuits, special K, electric kool-aid, some bud, you get the gist,” Billy said, shrugging again. He tried not to lose it as Steve’s parents both looked confused at first, but then quickly realized what he was talking about and nodded as if they still didn’t get it. It was hilarious watching his dad try to keep his cool as he put his arm around Steve, and it only became funnier as he had to excuse himself for a moment to ‘check on lunch’ as Steve cuddled into Billy’s side.

“Can I go upstairs and see your old room?” Max asked, sitting up a little on the couch and speaking loud enough so Peter would hear it as he left for the kitchen.

“Sure, go ahead,” Steve said, “It’s just up the stairs and to the right.”

Max got up from the couch then and bounded up the stairs as quickly as she could, leaving Steve and Billy alone with Margie.

“So, you think dad suspects anything?” Steve asked his mother quietly.

“No, I think you’ve got him right where you want him. And it was a great idea bringing Max into this, she’s a wonderful actress. I think if the three of you keep it up, I’ll be able to convince him to leave you be once it’s all said and done,” Margie said with a wink.

“Good. Oh, also, we had another idea that we wanted to run past you first before we did it. Would you be okay if Max threw some food at you then?” Steve asked, the mischievous glint playing in his eyes.

“We’d have her wait until it cools down a little, of course, but after she does, you can say you need a moment and excuse yourself, and that’ll give your husband the perfect opportunity to have us sign those papers,” Billy added, smiling along with Steve.

“As long as she doesn’t throw a whole chicken breast at me, I’m fine with that,” Margie said, shaking her head as she laughed a little. “Oh, wait, I think I hear your father coming back, everybody quit smiling!”

As Peter walked back into the room, he found everyone in the same position he’d left them in, chatting about the weather. As he sat down, he asked, “What happened to the young lady?”

“She wanted to check out my old room, so she’s upstairs,” Steve said, and just then, Max came barrelling back down the stairs, holding something in her hands.

“Oh my God! This is so funny, check out what I found!” She said, waving around a porn magazine.

“Max! Where did you find that?!” Steve nearly shouted, pretending to be panicked as he tore the magazine out of her hands, trying to hide it.

“Under your bed. Gotta say, Steve, you’ve really got a type,” she laughed, holding up one of the pages that had fallen onto the floor. It showed a blonde woman dressed all in leather that had a brunette man tied up on the ground in front of her, and once everyone had gotten an eyeful of it, Steve grabbed that, too, crumpling all of it up and taking it to the kitchen to throw it away. Max continued to laugh, and Billy had to chuckle a little, too. They’d planned this gag along with everything else, but the way Steve’s face went red just like his parents’, it was just too funny.

“Um, I-I think lunch should be ready by now, why don’t we head in to the table?” Margie said, her face still flushed as she led the way to the table. It was set with the semi-fancy silverware and china, and Max’s eyes grew wide as she walked in. As soon as they were all seated, she waited until she thought Steve’s dad would be the only one looking, and she swiped the crystal salt and pepper shakers off the table, stuffing them in her pocket.

“Now, young lady, you are a guest in our home, and we are being very kind to you. You should not be repaying that kindness by taking our things and acting the way you are,” he said, giving her a hard stare.

“I didn’t do anything,” Max said, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked as he, Billy and Margie walked in, carrying the food dishes.

“I didn’t do anything!” Max was quick to defend, glaring at Peter.

“Yes, she did. She took the crystal salt shakers and stuffed them in her pockets,” Peter countered, and Steve looked at Max disappointedly, shaking his head. 

“Max, we talked about this. You don’t take things that don’t belong to you, now put them back,” he said, putting his hands on his hips as Max groaned, but put the shakers back on the table. Steve glanced at his dad after the whole exchange, and was pleased to see his eye starting to twitch again, an obvious sign that they were getting to him. 

After that, they all sat down and started serving themselves. Margie had made chicken with broccoli and potatoes, and for most of the meal nothing major happened. This was mostly due to the fact that nobody said a word as they ate, any and all conversation topics seeming loaded with too much opportunity for awkward tension, so nobody bothered to try. That is, until Steve saw that Max was eating everything but her broccoli.

“Max, honey, you have to eat your broccoli, or else we won’t get ice cream on the way home,” he said, nodding at her plate, but she only scoffed.

“I’m fifteen, Steve, not five, and I don’t like broccoli,” she said, rolling her eyes yet again.

“Just eat it, alright?” Billy backed Steve up, making his tone as sharp as possible until it was practically a growl.

“No,” she said, “I don’t like broccoli.”

“Just fucking eat it, Max. I’m not gonna say it again!” Billy raised his voice at her.

“I won’t say it again, either! I. Don’t. Like. Broccoli!” She raised her voice right back, picking up a couple of florets in each hand and throwing them, some hitting Billy and Steve, but the majority going off to the sides and hitting his parents. After her tantrum, Max stood up from the table quickly and stormed off to another room, her headphones back on her ears as she hid in the living room. Billy stood up as if he were going to go after her, but Steve grabbed his arm and pulled him back down, telling him to give her a few minutes to cool off before they both said something they’d regret.

Meanwhile, his parents just sat there, both in disbelief at the girl’s horrible behavior and the way Billy had tried to handle it. For a minute, it seemed like nobody was going to move, as if everything had been stopped by the tantrum and now somebody had to restart time. Finally, Margie was able to get into character and stood up, still pretending to be in shock as she muttered, “I-I need a moment,” and left the room in a rush.

“Stephen, why don’t you come into my office and sign those papers now, and then I think you all should leave, your mother seemed terribly upset,” Peter said, standing and looking at Steve in a way that told him he didn’t really have any choice in the matter. Steve just nodded and said okay, and he and Billy followed his father to his office.

“It’s an insurance thing, so will you need just my signature or both of ours?” Steve asked as they got into the office, glancing at the papers on the desk.

“Both of you will need to sign it,” Peter said, flipping to the right page and holding out a pen to Steve. He signed, then passed the pen to Billy, who signed as well.

“There, we should be all squared away, then,” Steve said, handing the papers back to his dad. “Sorry about all this, dad, this was supposed to be a nice afternoon. Tell mom I said sorry too, okay?”

“I will, son. Have a nice evening,” he replied, the first genuine smile he’d had all day coming to his face.

Steve led the way back to the living room so that they could collect Max before leaving, making sure his dad was well out of earshot before he started to laugh quietly. They got Max and quickly left, saying a quick goodbye to Margie when they saw her on her way to the office, asking her to give them a five minute head start before she went in there. She agreed and hugged them all before they left, waiting until she heard their car rumbling down the road before she went to find her husband.

“So what was it that he tried to get you guys to sign?” Max asked from the backseat, taking some of the band-aids off her face.

“Divorce papers,” Billy grinned wickedly, “But we didn’t actually sign them, don’t worry.”

“Nope. Poor dad’s in for a shock once he finally takes a closer look at those things,” Steve agreed, winking. “Now, let’s celebrate! Who wants ice cream?”

Back at the Harrington house, Margie had just entered the office, schooling her features to be neutral before she knocked on the door frame and walked in.

“So, I think we can agree that the next order of business is making sure they don’t adopt that horrible little girl, am I right?” Peter said as Margie sat down, kicking his feet up on his desk as he filed the documents away in a folder.

“I take it they signed, then?” Margie asked, biting her lip so as not to break the facade just yet.

“Sure did, see for yourself!” Peter said, flipping to the right page and holding the paper out to his wife. She couldn’t help it anymore, she let out a little giggle and said, “Um, dear, you might want to take a second look at those signatures.”

Peter looked at his wife like she lost her mind, and quickly whipped the paper around to see what she was talking about. His mouth went dry as he saw it, and his eye started twitching again, because instead of two names on the signature lines, he saw two parts of a sentence. In the neatest cursive he’d ever seen, the phrase “Suck a Lemon, Old Man!” was written on the lines.

As her husband started completely dumbfounded at the paper, Margie finally lost it, bursting into a fit of laughter that didn’t end until the papers Peter had been holding were halfway through the shredder.

“I don’t know what you’re laughing about, Marjorie! This is a disaster! This whole damn afternoon was a disaster!” He ranted, throwing his arms up in frustration. “Now I’ll have to write up a whole new set of papers and figure out some other plan!”

“Oh, come off it, Peter!” Margie finally calmed down enough to say, “This afternoon was a disaster by design! Stephen knows you, he knew that there was more to this, especially since he got his insurance in order months ago. They planned this whole thing to show you that you’re upset about nothing.”

“You call what happened out there nothing?!” Peter asked, completely exasperated.

“No, that was absolutely something. That was the worst case scenario. But that’s not how their relationship actually is. They wanted to show you that for as worried as you are about their relationship, it could be a hell of a lot worse. It was all acting. Max isn’t a foster kid, she’s Billy’s little sister, and they asked her to help them today by acting as badly as she could so you could see that at least they don’t have a juvenile delinquent they’re trying to raise. Steve dressed Billy up like that and had him say all those things about dealing drugs and such so that you can now think that at least our son didn’t marry an unemployed drug dealer with anger issues. It was all just like one big prank.”

“And you were in on it?!”

“Yes, I was.”

“Why would you do that to me?!”

“Because they asked me for help and I gave it to them,” Margie said, sighing, “Look, Peter, I realized a while ago that if I try and control everything about Steve’s life, not only would I never win, but I’d end up losing him in the end. He’d get fed up with me and if it hit a certain point, he’d cut me out completely. So instead of trying to control him, I’ve decided to support him instead. He’s made a lot of mistakes and he’s going to make more, but rather than try and prevent them from ever happening, I’m going to help him through those mistakes so he learns from them. And I don’t think he’s making a mistake with Billy. They’re in love, just like we’re in love, and they deserve to be in love without someone else controlling their every move. And if, heaven forbid, they ever do realize it’s a mistake, then I’d rather be here to offer Steve a shoulder to cry on than to laugh and say ‘I told you so’, wouldn’t you?”

Peter looked lost in thought as Margie’s words sank in, and finally, he sighed. “I suppose you’re right,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “I guess I should just be glad that nothing they said today was real, huh?”

“Now you’re getting it,” Margie smiled softly, taking her husband’s hand and kissing it gently.

“And I suppose I should call them tomorrow and apologize, shouldn’t I?”

“I think that would be best. Then maybe next weekend we can have a real lunch and we can all get to know each other the right way, hm?”

“Fine. But if that girl decides to tag along again, make sure that broccoli is not on the menu,” Peter said, making them both laugh.

[themummersfolly]

Nonverbal Art

alt. title: Art Nerd's Origin Story

Anyone else ever wonder why Thrawn's interest in art focuses so heavily on sussing out the backstory of the artist? Yeah.

I have no idea how pediatric therapy works in real life.

-----

Vurawn doesn’t need a doctor to tell him he’s different.

There’s the whole talking thing, for example. Vurawn doesn’t remember learning to talk, even though he remembers Vurika and Mom says he didn’t start talking until after that. A lot of people still think he can’t talk, apparently, because he doesn’t do it very often. He’s not sure what the point is. He understands just fine, and besides, half the time when he does talk people get mad or start acting funny.

A lot of grownups think that not talking means he doesn’t hear either; even Mom and Dad forget sometimes. He overhears them talking about him. For a long time Mom thought he was stupid. It seemed to make her happy, for some reason. He doesn’t feel stupid; but then, he’s not sure if stupid and smart are things you can feel like. Vurika was smart, and they took her away and Mom was sad. Maybe if he’s stupid, he’ll get to stay and make Mom happy.

The army man said he was smart, when he gave everybody that test-thingy at school. But then he got into a fight with Teni the next day and afterward everybody said he was stupid. At least until the teacher made them stop.

No, he doesn’t need a doctor to tell him he’s weird, but here he is anyway.

He kicks his feet back and forth under the chair while he waits and thinks about the marker set Dad said he’ll get if he’s good for the doctor. He hopes there’s lots of orange markers. Orange is his favorite color right now. At school, there are fourteen different kinds of orange marker in the marker bin; he knows because he counted. First he lined them all up in order, then he put them in groups of markers from the same set and lined those up in order. Or he tried to, before the teacher yelled at him for hogging the orange markers.

He hopes he can be good enough to get the markers. Even when he tries to be good, he always does something wrong without meaning to.

“Kivu’raw’nuru?”

That’s his name. He hops out of his seat and follows Mom into the back office.

He likes going to this doctor, honestly. She never gives him shots or gets mad when he does the thing with his hands to feel better. There are toys, and neat pictures to look at, and lots and lots of markers.

He wanders around the room, looking at the toys while Mom talks to the doctor.

“-test scores are high, but the teacher says he’s behind in his social development. He rarely talks, he never looks me in the eyes-”

Dad thinks Mom wants there to be something wrong with him, at least he said so last night. Vurawn doesn’t know why everyone wants him to look at their eyes; it makes him as uncomfortable as when he has to not fidget.

The grownups finish talking and the doctor comes over to where he is.

“Good morning, Vurawn.”

It takes him a moment, but he remembers there’s something he’s supposed to do when people greet him.

“Hi.”

The doctor asks him questions; he’s supposed to answer with his big kid words, and he does. The doctor is happy, he’s doing it right. Maybe he will get that marker set.

“Vurawn, I’d like you to draw your family for me. Will you do that now, please?”

He’s not sure why she needs him to do that, but then he’s not sure why she asked all those questions, either. He does like to color, though.

It doesn’t take him long to draw everyone who’s important to him. When he’s done, the doctor sits down next to him.

“Tell me about your picture. Who’s that?” She points at the picture that is pretty obviously Mom. One by one, she points to each figure he drew and asks about it. Mom. Dad. Himself. The neighbor’s tooka. Vurika. He doesn’t know why she wants him to talk about them; most of the time when he talks about things he likes, people act like he’s doing something wrong and he doesn't know why. But the doctor lets him talk, so he does. It feels good to talk about things he likes.

When he’s told her all about his drawing, she picks it up and takes it over to Mom. He listens to them talk, and with no one to tell him not to, dumps out the markers and begins sorting them.

“-normal cognitive development for a child his age. But I think part of the issue is he misses his sister.”

That gets Vurawn’s attention. He’s not supposed to talk about Vurika; whenever he does, Mom gets sad and all the other grownups tell him he should be happy she gets to serve the Ascendancy. The doctor keeps talking.

“You see how much detail he put into her portrait; he clearly still remembers her, and remembers her well. Even as young as he was, her removal had a profound effect on him. That might be why he’s having difficulty adjusting socially.”

She can tell all that from his drawing?

“And here- this is your neighbor’s pet. She turns up in a number of drawings he’s done for me, so she’s clearly an important figure in his life. He may benefit from a therapy animal. If you can’t have one where you live, there are programs you can sign him up for-”

Every time he talks about Flower the Tooka, people look at him like he’s crazy! But the doctor had looked at his picture and understood immediately. Is that the secret? Can he really get people to understand him by drawing pictures for them?

And if it works that way, maybe it works the other way around, too. Maybe if he looks at pictures other people draw, they’ll seem less weird. Maybe the world makes sense if you draw it.

It’s like he’s spent his whole life in a dark, scary hallway, and suddenly, someone in a room nearby turns on a light. He decides to move toward it.

“Mom, I’d like you to draw a picture for me. Will you do that for me now, please?”

He’s been good all day, not just at the doctor. When Dad comes home, he has the marker set in hand, and the first thing Vurawn does is take it over to Mom.

She looks surprised, and he’s not sure she’ll go along with it. But then she takes the markers and flimsi and starts drawing. To keep himself busy, Vurawn picks up the pieces of the gadget she was working on and starts arranging them in order. They’re all very different, and it’s hard to figure out what order they should go in. Vurawn likes puzzles like this.

He’s just figured out where the big shiny piece should go when Mom slaps a marker down hard, puts her face into her hands, and starts shaking. Vurawn jumps. At first he thinks she’s mad at him for playing with her project. Then he sees that she’s crying.

“I’m sorry, Vurawn- it’s ok. I just can’t. You’re ok.” She doesn’t look up from her hands. Vurawn stands on his chair to look across the table at what she’s drawn.

It’s a grownup kind of drawing, much more complicated than his sensible stick figures. The face that stares out from the page is that of a little girl, about his age. It’s unfinished; Mom put the marker down before she colored it in.

“I’m sorry I got upset, Vurawn, I don’t know why I did that.” Mom wipes her eyes. Vurawn is still looking at the picture.

“It’s cause you miss Vurika.”

Mom freezes. He’s not sure if that means she understands, so he tries again.

“You’re sad cause Vurika had to go away. You’re scared that I might have to go away, too. But if I’m stupid, I get to stay with you, cause stupid people don’t have to serve the Ascen’a’cy.” He frowns at the tabletop, choosing his next words. “I can be stupid for you, Mom.”

He expects her to be happy at the offer, but instead she starts crying even harder. Vurawn feels the panic start to well up in his chest. He’s done something wrong again. Mom is upset, and Dad will be mad, and he doesn’t know how to fix it because he doesn’t even know what he did wrong-

Mom leans over and scoops him up in a hug.

“You’re not stupid, you’re a brilliant, brilliant little boy. I love you so much!” Her tears are getting his shirt wet, and now they’re both crying. “Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re stupid! I just- I just want what’s best for you, even if you have to go away. My brilliant little boy!” She takes his face in her hands and makes him look at her. “If they chose you- I need you to remember. I love you so much, I’m so proud of you, and I don’t want you to ever look back.”

Vurawn doesn’t understand, but he nods his head because Mom needs him to. Then he leans into her shoulder and cries.

[stardewrotsession]

Note: Thank you for the love on my last post! I’m not sure if this one is as good since I’m not that good at writing bachelorette headcanons. I’m working on it though! I opened requests in case anyone wants to send anything.

When the Bachelorettes realize they have a crush on you:

Maru

- She’s the type of person who loves working on and sharing her projects with other people.

- So when you started showing interest in her inventions? She‘a not complaining, but she’d be lying if she said she expected the new town farmer to be interested in mechanics.

- Still, she was exhilarated to show off her smarts and skills to you.

- You were always super friendly and really nice, at least with her. And she appreciated that.

- It would get to the point where she would randomly spot you by the community center or up by the mountains and ask to get your opinion on something she’s working on.

- She starts to really care about your opinions and critics, mostly because you find a way to be gentle about it but still be able to tell the truth.

- She’d start making little trinkets and gadgets to try and help you out on the farm afterwards.

- It was a way to show you she cares!

- …Maybe in more ways than one.

Leah

- You occasionally see Leah painting or admiring the view on the beach, the forest, or the lake.

- She loves the outdoors, just being outside and being in the moment while the breeze hits her face is what makes life worth it for her.

- She was always a friendly person, but once you started showing interest in her art she began talking to you some more.

- I’d like to think one day, you’d introduce her to the secret forest past the wizard’s house.

- After she watched you take on the slimes, she’d look around the forest in awe.

- “This… this is breath taking…” She’d say. “Do you come here often?”

- Ever since then, you two would plan to go to the forest together every week or so.

- Sometimes she’d bring some paper and paint with her so she could try to capture the natural beauty.

- But whenever she’d try to, she wouldn’t be able to paint it without picturing you with her, admiring her work and talking to her about your life before moving, and how much better it has gotten.

- You were all she could think about.

- She wouldn’t be able to get you out of her head for a while after that.

Penny

- So, Penny was always pretty shy around you.

- A new farmer, going out of their way to talk to her and get to know her?

- She was very overwhelmed.

- Slowly but surely, she would start talking to you, and she would begin to feel more comfortable around you.

- When you ended up talking to her about Jas and Vincent’s favorite gifts, you started to catch her attention.

- “Vincent’s favorite thing is snails right? I’m not sure if Jodi would approve, but I got a bunch that he could pet or play with if he likes that.”

- “Hey, can I come by later today to give Jas some cake? I remember Marnie mentioning she really liked cake, and I wanted to try to bake one for her.”

- The way the farmer would talk so fondly and kindly about the kids made her realize she really wanted to get to know you better.

- And when you began talking about how important education is?

- And especially when you’d listen to her venting about Pam’s drinking without any judgment?

- Yeah, she’s definitely going to go out of her way to see you a little bit more now.

Abigail

- Abigail’s hobbies are a little different compared to the other bachelorettes’ personalities. She’s not like other girls.

- She loves anything that has to do with adventure, and if she’s being completely honest, she was disappointed when someone moved into that old abandoned farmhouse.

- Not like she held it against you though. It was just one less place to explore for her.

- However, she notices a lot of things. And the new farmer carrying around a nice looking sword caught her eye.

- Ever since she approached you about it, you two have been talking nonstop about your adventures in the mines.

- It wasn’t until she went down with you when she realized just how brave you were, putting your life on the line to protect her and to let her see and fight the monsters lurking down below.

- Brave, awesome, amazing.

- And you were into video games on top of that?

- She was done for.

Emily

- Magical gem girly.

- If she were to fall for the new farmer, she would need the new farmer to be just as into crystals, auras, etc.

- You two would be able to talk about tarot cards and magical crystal abilities day in and day out.

- It’d definitely be a nice refreshing change to cleaning up for Haley, walking around the town, and working at the saloon.

-I’d like to think one day she invited you over to her house to read your palms at night.

- and unexpectedly, she’d get a little distracted by how soft her strong your hands were from working on the farm.

- Something about holding your hand in hers felt right.

- “So what’s my life line Em?” You’d say, interrupting her day dream.

- “…Hm? Oh, yeah. Let me see…”

- Her face was definitely red for the rest of the night.

Haley

- Haley never liked you at first.

- I mean, it wasn’t like she hated you, exactly. You were just another person moving to this boring old town without any malls to go to or friends to hang out with.

- She only really started to talk to you after you open a jar for her.

- I’m sorry, I just think she’s a bit superficial at first.

- Who was she to ignore a strong guy/gal?

- But after finding her great grandma’s bracelet in the beach and cheering her up a bit, she starts to open her mind a bit more.

- She hasn’t had the worst life, in fact she’s had a pretty great one. So she wasn’t the type to vent or look back in the past and have a lot of regrets.

- …But it still felt really nice to have someone there to listen when she felt a little sad…

- She may need to rethink some things after talking to you.

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 19: WE GET HELP FROM A THIEF

"Percy, Percy, Percy," Jason shook his head in sorrow as Percy reluctantly read the new title. "First the buying off of your friends, now this! Gods, two days without your mom awake and look what a delinquent you've turned into! What moral compass?!"

"Saving Rachel first," Percy reminded firmly. "Finding out what she stole afterwards."

"Fine," Jason nodded, "but if it turns out she reneged on her father's deal and stole that helicopter, I'm not asking permission for what happens next."

"A heart attack?" Alex asked in mock concern. "You can't lie and tell me those crisp pants don't have a problem with a little rule-breaking."

"I-" Jason opened, then closed his mouth in confusion as he stared down at his tan jeans and pressed purple shirt. The golden letters might be faded, but the laurels gave him a sense of warmth, and the shirt felt very lived in. It was an, odd combination of clothing that gave him no comeback other than his sense of being a tad outraged and a little to curious to find out what this all was about. Gods he hoped he made sense to himself when he got his own memories back.

Here's my definition of not fun.

"The opposite of riding a hellhound Percy, we know," Nico rolled his eyes.

"Shush and let the narrator talk," Percy seemed way to smug to be double-speaking for some reason. Probably because it made Annabeth roll her eyes like that.

Fly a pegasus toward an out-of-control helicopter.

"Oh, is that all it takes," Alex nodded as if some great mystery had finally been resolved. "Thanks, Perce, I'll mark that down so you don't have to come do that one with me."

"Alex-" Percy started, then stopped. Nope. He would not question any of that. He liked having his sanity intact.

If Guido had been any less of a fancy flier, we would've been chopped to confetti.

Nico couldn't help but imagine the feathers flying everywhere, the blood, how Percy would have survived by falling back to the ground spending the entirety of his life somehow blaming himself for a pegasus's inability to do this task.

He snapped out of it when Percy kept reading and Annabeth casually had her ankle hooked back around him while leaning against Thalia, making him glad for the bajilionth time it was only Percy's thoughts that ever got put on display. Even getting all of his memories back wouldn't be worth that.

I could hear Rachel screaming inside. For some reason, she hadn't fallen asleep, but I could see the pilot slumped over the controls, pitching back and forth as the helicopter wobbled toward the side of an office building.

"Ideas?" I asked Annabeth.

"You're going to have to take Guido and get out," she said.

"What are you going to do?"

In response, she said, "Hyah!" and Guido went into a nosedive.

"Duck!" Annabeth yelled.

"That's it huh? That's your entire plan? To duck! Gosh, and they call you the smart one!" Magnus was rambling, and he knew it, but his mouth was moving like word vomit as he pictured her heading for a careening helicopter and not being the invulnerable one! Was Percy going to summon a cloud and land it there?! He had no idea what was going on!

"I had a plan," Annabeth insisted with a sigh he was doubting her.

"And it was a good one too, we all lived didn't we," Percy said with confidence that really didn't soothe Magnus's current living nightmare of his very killable cousin once again jumping into a very killable situation and thinking this was normal!

We passed so close to the rotors I felt the force of the blades ripping at my hair. We zipped along the side of the helicopter, and Annabeth grabbed the door.

That's when things went wrong.

"This whole situation is wrong," Magnus groaned into his hands. How had the pilot even gotten so close without turning away like all other mortals?! Was it possible to wrap Annabeth in chainmail for the rest of her life?! He even accepted Percy's hand would get stuck in the process didn't care!

Guido's wing slammed against the helicopter. He plummeted straight down with me on his back, leaving Annabeth dangling from the side of the aircraft. I was so terrified I could barely think, but as Guido spiraled I caught a glimpse of Rachel pulling Annabeth inside the copter.

"She's awake?!" The three shouted in a concerning display that nobody could be mad for because it was funnier that that was the part they caught on. Not the part where Rachel reached out of a moving helicopter to pull Annabeth inside. That bit was clearly obvious.

"Hang in there!" I yelled at Guido.

"He dosen't have hands to be hanging onto anything Percy," Thalia frowned at him. She was so glad she'd missed this catastrophe, even if the results had been punching Travis when he'd told her this later because she'd thought he was joking about that at a time like this.

"Yes, thank you for that Thalia, don't know how I got through this one without you," Percy sighed.

My wing, he moaned. It's busted.

"You can do it!" I desperately tried to remember what Silena used to tell us in pegasus-riding lessons.

Percy didn't understand the painful jolt he felt throughout himself as he read that. His attention still wanted to be on the helicopter, he was forcing himself to help Guido so the poor pegasus didn't get even more injured, his heart was pounding crazy fast because he once again needed to be everywhere at once, all of that made sense.

But still, something in that bothered him as he caught his breath and pressed on.

"Just relax the wing. Extend it and glide."

We fell like a rock

"Everything falls like a rock, even winged creatures," Jason nodded with confidence.

"Feathers don't," Percy sighed as he waved his hand across his face at the malayee of white he'd been getting in his face during that spiral.

Jason nodded as he took in the visual, but still there was a plummeting feeling in his stomach and he brushed his messy hair out of his eyes like it was bothering him for some reason. Just the hint of a memory, more of a feeling than anything, but he glanced at Thalia with interest as he tried to connect some dots there that still had several missing spots.

—straight toward the pavement three hundred feet below. At the last moment Guido extended his wings. I saw the faces of centaurs gaping up at us.

"It's a bird, it's a plane," Thalia nodded, "ah shit, it's just Percy about to die again."

"Glad you weren't there," Percy huffed, "you would have used me as target practice."

"Please," she scoffed, "as big as you two are, not even a challenge."

Then we pulled out of our dive, sailed fifty feet, and tumbled onto the pavement—pegasus over demigod.

"What a strange recipe," Will gazed at the book in concern. "Might be to much salt in that."

"Ha, ha, ha," Percy said dryly, probably ruining it further. He hoped he burnt that joke to a crisp.

Ow! Guido moaned. My legs. My head. My wings.

Chiron galloped over with his medical pouch and began working on the pegasus.

I got to my feet.

Magnus wasn't so cavalier about Percy just shaking off the fact that he should have broken every bone in his body and maybe popped a few organs, but he was clearly the only one, as usual. That curse might make Percy invulnerable on the outside, but he was pretty sure the guy still needed his head examined for something else.

When I looked up, my heart crawled into my throat. The helicopter was only a few seconds away from slamming into the side of the building.

Magnus felt the urge to come over and start prodding his cousin to make sure she wasn't a ghost. He really wasn't sure if he should find that idea all that ridiculous anymore.

Then miraculously the helicopter righted itself. It spun in a circle and hovered. Very slowly, it began to descend.

All eyes were on Annabeth. Several of them had their mouths open. Percy's mind swiveled back to running from Circe's island with her in that white dress and thinking how ridiculous it was he couldn't fly a fighter jet out of there and how Annabeth might have been able to and just hadn't wanted to show off.

It seemed to take forever, but finally the helicopter thudded to a landing in the middle of Fifth Avenue. I looked through the windshield and couldn't believe what I was seeing. Annabeth was at the controls.

"Well," Alex said slowly but confidently. "I didn't really expect Kelli to appear out of nowhere in a sudden redemption arc, so that seems the only option left."

"When did you learn to fly a helicopter?" Magnus demanded with mingled concern and awe. Imagining Uncle Fredrick getting into some really interesting bonding time on the weekends or camp having some bizarre training Percy hadn't heard of yet.

"I explain to Percy," she promised, "but it was basically just giving it my best shot."

"Has anyone told you you're awesome lately?" Percy grinned as he gazed at her. She always did the most amazing things, even saving people's lives who she didn't really like.

Annabeth grinned and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Every day with him felt awesome.

I ran forward as the rotors spun to a stop. Rachel opened the side door and dragged out the pilot.

"Think I'd leave him in there actually," Will muttered. Might be mildly safer than on the street where the other civilians were still trying to be cleared out in the sparse bit of spare time they had.

Rachel was still dressed like she was on vacation, in beach shorts, a T-shirt, and sandals. Her hair was tangled and her face was green from the helicopter ride.

"So, she's obviously having a great time," Nico said in sympathy.

"I've accepted that's just how everybody feels when they jump into Percy's life," Jason already said with a resigned sigh. He could have done a whole color coordinated project by now on how the son of the sea managed to do that to everyone he met at least once.

Annabeth climbed out last.

I stared at her in awe. "I didn't know you could fly a helicopter."

"Neither did I until I did," she was actually blushing a bit at so many people staring at her. The centaurs and other bystanders had just moved on from this.

"I told you guys learning to do it on the way down was the best way to go!" Alex cheered.

Annabeth looked pleased at proving some past point of Alex's even if she was lacking the context.

"Neither did I," she said. "My dad's crazy into aviation. Plus, Daedalus had some notes on flying machines. I just took my best guess on the controls."

"That's not how that should work. That's not how any of this should work," Magnus groaned into his hands, again. Just because his mom was into nature didn't mean he went around eating whatever mushrooms he found with immunity!

"It is when you're dealing with a genius," Percy said with pride.

"You saved my life," Rachel said.

Annabeth flexed her bad shoulder.

"Talk about a literal thorn in your side?" Thalia nodded in understanding.

"Sure felt that way," but Annabeth's smile was affectionate and sad now for the anger coursing through her at saving the mortal girl's life who was now her friend. Gods what a mixed bag of emotions this book was.

"Yeah, well . . . let's not make a habit of it. What are you doing here, Dare? Don't you know better than to fly into a war zone?"

"You just asked a girl why she dared fly into a war zone like that's not your MO Chase," Alex sniffed.

Annabeth opened, then closed her mouth without bothering to argue the point.

"I—" Rachel glanced at me. "I had to be here. I knew Percy was in trouble."

"Got that right," Annabeth grumbled. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I have some injured friends I've got to tend to. Glad you could stop by, Rachel."

Jason mock shivered as if the cold icy tone of her voice had reverberated through time. Nico felt a lot of sympathy for Rachel, he'd been on the receiving end of that tone and it took someone with a lot of guts to not jump back into that helicopter and turn it around.

"Annabeth—" I called.

She stormed off.

Rachel plopped down on the curb and put her head in her hands. "I'm sorry, Percy. I didn't mean to ... I always mess things up."

It was kind of hard to argue with her, though I was glad she was safe.

"Percy!" Will tried hard to make that sound scolding for mentally kicking her while she was down, but it came out a little to much like he was holding back a laugh. Gods this boy couldn't stay mad at Annabeth for anything.

I looked in the direction Annabeth had gone, but she'd disappeared into the crowd. I couldn't believe what she'd just done—saved Rachel's life, landed a helicopter, and walked away like it was no big deal.

"Where is my poster with fireworks!" Alex groaned.

"Burnt to ashes, the camera got my bad side," she chuckled.

"It's okay," I told Rachel, though my words sounded hollow.

"And I bet Rachel heard it," Magnus sighed, resisting the urge to cover his face again. He'd never claim to be the most socially apt person in the room, but gods Percy was no great shakes at hiding his thoughts, and he clearly wanted to go after Annabeth but was staying for his friend.

"Wouldn't surprise me. She has ears," Will agreed with a sad sigh for her. He wished he could hand out popsicles or something for moments like this without it being super obvious what he was doing.

"So what's the message you wanted to deliver?"

She frowned. "How did you know about that?"

"A dream."

Rachel didn't look surprised. She tugged at her beach shorts. They were covered in drawings, which wasn't unusual for her, but these symbols I recognized: Greek letters, pictures from camp beads, sketches of monsters and faces of gods. I didn't understand how Rachel could have known about some of that. She'd never been to Olympus or Camp Half-Blood.

She'd never done any of that before she started drawing pictures of the future either, Jason frowned as a memory tried to tug its way to the surface while being held under by the heavy weight of his mind.

...something about toys? Plush animals...stuffing? No. None of it made a lick of sense.

"I've been seeing things too," she muttered. "I mean, not just through the Mist. This is different. I've been drawing pictures, writing lines—"

"In Ancient Greek," I said. "Do you know what they say?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I was hoping . . . well, if you had gone with us on vacation, I was hoping you could have helped me figure out what's happening to me."

She looked at me pleadingly.

"Well that was a shipwrecked mission before it started," Percy said with an anxious look down at the black and white words. He couldn't fathom how Rachel had thought he had a clue, he barely managed to keep up with the problems in his own life!

"Oh I don't know," Annabeth brushed the gray bangs out of her eyes as she smiled at him, "you're usually my go to person for that too, can't be mad at her for it."

Percy looked around at her with a bemused smile. He clearly thought she was just saying that in some kind of apology for her past attitude, but she meant it from as deep down as she could. Percy might not have an answer, but he was still the most reliable person she'd ever think to ask.

Her face was sunburned from the beach. Her nose was peeling. I couldn't get over the shock that she was here in person. She'd forced her family to cut short their vacation, agreed to go to a horrible school, and flown a helicopter into a monster battle just to see me. In her own way, she was as brave as Annabeth.

Annabeth bit down on her lip hard to try and stop the flare of jealousy from rearing its head. Gods, she'd always known Percy could have, maybe even should have chosen to be with the mortal girl. Someone he effortlessly had fun with and matched him like she never would. Now she found even he agreed!

Percy gave her an apologetic smile and a wink. It made her heart flutter just like always. She sighed and took his hand, trying to take comfort in the fact that he instantly threaded their fingers together. That this latest thought bubble came in with comparing Rachel to her, saying they both had one of the most important attributes she knew he valued. In the flow chart she could have penciled in comparing the two, at least this was at the top of both...

But what was happening to her with these visions really freaked me out.

"You say that like those two sentences should have a pause between them," Alex shook her head in dismay. "Her bravery to show up there because those visions are freaking you out are one in the same Percy."

"I'd rather they weren't," Percy said in a hollow voice. Rachel could see into his world enough he never felt crazy, but was a whole other planet away in the mortal world and gave him a foot in it. He could tell her things he couldn't even tell his mom because he wasn't afraid of making Rachel scared. What if the opposite was happening? What if he was dragging her down into his life and she turned out like May Castellan?

The notion was giving him such a splitting headache the book was starting to blur in his hands, the words on the page fighting him for the first time until Annabeth squeezed his hand. The room steadied. He wasn't entirely sure if he'd been causing that literally or it had just been in his head.

Maybe it was something that happened to all mortals who could see through the Mist. But my mom had never talked about anything like that. And Hestia's words about Luke's mom kept coming back to me: May Castellan went too far. She tried to see too much.

Percy was jittering around in his seat like he needed to use the bathroom, bad. A voice that sounded like it was coming from a long ways away was telling him to calm down and stop trying to focus on this, but he couldn't figure out how. His friend was in danger. He needed to figure out how she got out of this, if he was supposed to help or step back from her life or-

"Percy," Annabeth's voice finally broke through and it caught his attention at last, as she was always bound to do. He'd swear she could interrupt any thought.

"Rachel," I said, "I wish I knew. Maybe we should ask Chiron—"

She flinched like she'd gotten an electric shock. "Percy, something is about to happen. A trick that ends in death."

"From, Chiron?!" Magnus yelped as he rubbed the side of his neck. He felt like he had whiplash from the wild speed of everything progressing.

"I don't know!" Percy spluttered before he blasted on reading without giving anyone else a chance to respond. There were to many deaths happening around him, he didn't know how he felt about another being confirmed by Rachel Elizabeth Dare and he didn't have time to process it!

"What do you mean? Whose death?"

"I don't know." She looked around nervously. "Don't you feel it?"

"Is that the message you wanted to tell me?"

"No." She hesitated. "I'm sorry. I'm not making sense, but that thought just came to me. The message I wrote on the beach was different. It had your name in it."

"Wait, back up," Jason said it in such a firm way Percy scowled on principle and wanted to read faster before he mentally checked himself. "She wanted you to go on vacation to talk about something, had the message in the sand and needed to tell you that right away, but now a trick that ends in death is the most recent update going on here?! There's two other things?"

"That was a terrible summary of this situation Jason," Percy huffed, "you took longer explaining that than Rachel's been talking!" He was probably exaggerating a bit and clearly annoyed at himself for indulging in this making it take longer.

"Perseus," I remembered. "In Ancient Greek."

Rachel nodded. "I don't know its meaning. But I know it's important. You have to hear it. It said, Perseus, you are not the hero."

Percy froze. Jason would have been a tad more resentful that now he could have talked as much as he'd like if he could think of anything to say, but his mind was just as blank at that.

I stared at her like she'd just slapped me. "You came thousands of miles to tell me I'm not the hero?"

"The, journey's more important than the destination?" Magnus said hesitantly, feeling very much like he'd had the rug pulled out from under him as much as Percy did. There was no way Percy had spent the past years of his life with everyone telling him this was his moment, only for his mortal friend to swoop in and say otherwise.

On the other hand, something freaky was happening with Rachel that was elevating her to a status way beyond his understanding. He did not take her word lightly right now, even if it scared the piss out of him if she was now destined to turn out like May Castellan in her future if this kept up.

"It's important," she insisted. "It will affect what you do."

"Not the hero of the prophecy?" I asked. "Not the hero who defeats Kronos? What do you mean?"

"Are they not, one in the same?" Alex asked blankly. This was about to get really confusing and off the rails, wasn't it? Her kind of story to be honest.

"I'm . . . I'm sorry, Percy. That's all I know. I had to tell you because—"

"Well!" Chiron cantered over. "This must be Miss Dare."

I wanted to yell at him to go away, but of course I couldn't.

"And why not?" Percy had the robust sense Thalia would have with no regrets. Sometimes he envied her that.

I tried to get my emotions under control. I felt like I had another personal hurricane swirling around me.

"I feel like if you did, neither of them would tell you," Jason said.

"I feel like if he did Annabeth would be turning green with jealousy," Will muttered. No way would she be glossing over Percy making hurricanes appear just because Rachel was around when that had never happened for her.

"Chiron, Rachel Dare," I said. "Rachel, this is my teacher Chiron."

"Hello," Rachel said glumly. She didn't look at all surprised that Chiron was a centaur.

"Got to wonder how many of those guys she's just seen chilling on her travels," Nico nodded. It wasn't exactly common, but by no means rare either.

"You are not asleep, Miss Dare," he noticed. "And yet you are mortal?"

"I'm mortal," she agreed, like it was a depressing thought.

Annabeth winced as she heard herself at seven, telling her little brother 'I'm not normal like you' in a tiny voice. They'd been to young to understand, to do more than hug her and promise they loved her anyways before their mother had called them out to the park where she wasn't allowed.

"The pilot fell asleep as soon as we passed the river. I don't know why I didn't. I just knew I had to be here, to warn Percy."

"Warn Percy?"

"She's been seeing things," I said. "Writing lines and making drawings."

Chiron raised an eyebrow. "Indeed? Tell me."

She told him the same things she'd told me.

Chiron stroked his beard. "Miss Dare . . . perhaps we should talk."

"Chiron," I blurted. I had a sudden terrible image of Camp Half-Blood in the 1990s, and May Castellan's scream coming from that attic.

"Bad 90's do's aside hopefully," Magnus muttered nervously.

"You . . . you'll help Rachel, right? I mean, you'll warn her that she's got to be careful with this stuff. Not go too far."

The obvious answer was, 'well duh Percy! He's an adult and a teacher and of course he'll steer her in the right direction that benefits her!'

The problem was, nobody said that to him. In fact, several of them grimaced as they looked right at Percy. Chiron was the leader of a group of kids, a trainer who had long since learned that heroes were going to follow their own path no matter what advice he gave them, like May Castellan before who had ignored everyone as she took on her role.

His tail flicked like it does when he's anxious.

Which was not a yes! Percy sighed and held tight to the idea that at least Rachel was alive and okay last time he'd seen her. He might still be able to fix something that had gone wrong...

"Yes, Percy. I will do my best to understand what is happening and advise Miss Dare, but this may take some time. Meanwhile, you should rest. We've moved your parents' car to safety. The enemy seems to be staying put for now. We've set up bunks in the Empire State Building. Get some sleep."

"You and everyone you love is in danger, again, happens once a year. Sweet dreams!" Thalia nodded. She couldn't even pack that much sarcasm into it.

Percy still frowned and wished he could throw her life in her face every once in a while. Stinking Hunters and their stinking adventures that didn't have books shoved in everyone else's face!

"Everybody keeps telling me to sleep," I grumbled. "I don't need sleep."

Annabeth frowned at him so deeply, he instantly felt bad. He responded by redirecting, "okay, but so do you!"

"I know," she groaned, no more pleased to hear those words than he ever was.

Chiron managed a smile. "Have you looked at yourself recently, Percy?"

"He has not stopped to check out his reflection, no," Will nodded. "Whoever tried to spread the rumor saying he was a secret love-child of Aprhodite really does owe me ten bucks."

"Thanks," Percy said blankly.

"The last time Percy looked at himself on a mission was in Calypso's cave," Jason nodded to himself, "and before that Circe's island. Why would Chiron think he has a track record of being vain?"

Percy gave him a sour frown for the snide hidden comment he didn't check his hair in the mirror every day before he left his cabin. Jason's little smirk proved that little remark wasn't all in his favor at any rate.

I glanced down at my clothes, which were scorched, burned, sliced, and tattered from my night of constant battles.

"Sounds like a miracle they were even still hanging on," Alex chuckled before giving Annabeth an obvious wink.

She blushed and quickly looked away, brushing her hair into her face, but not quite fast enough to hide her smile too.

"I look like death," I admitted. "But you think I can sleep after what just happened?"

"You slept through a dragon attack once!" Magnus exclaimed. "Sleeping and eating are at the bottom of your list of problems Percy!"

"Well when you put it like that, I sound lazy," Percy shrugged.

"You may be invulnerable in combat," Chiron chided, "but that only makes your body tire faster. I remember Achilles. Whenever that lad wasn't fighting, he was sleeping. He must've taken twenty naps a day.

"A nap is minimum thirty minutes," Percy looked so hurt for the poor lad. "That means he's barely awake for three or four hours a day! You have to actually wake up at some point for it to be considered a nap!"

They weren't entirely sure if his outrage came from to much sleep or not enough sleep until he looked at Nico and grousd, "Where's my Styx contract?! I want a refund! I refuse to be that inactive, I'll go nuts the few bits of time I get awake!"

"I think it's only a recommendation on how much you've been fighting seaweed brain," Annabeth said patiently. "You haven't been sleeping that much in here have you?" Glory, they'd still be on the first book if so.

"No," Percy nodded in relief.

Nico was smiling in surprise Annabeth actually stopped Percy from yelling at him. This was a good day!

You, Percy, need your rest. You may be our only hope."

Percy was clearly not in the mood for this and opened his mouth with a clear smart ass remark in place about that before Annabeth gently squeezed his hand and he reminded himself Chiron wasn't in here to hear it.

...Maybe he did need a nap, or a snack at minimum.

I wanted to complain that I wasn't their only hope, according to Rachel, I wasn't even the hero. But the look in Chiron's eyes made it clear he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Is he going to crack you over the head with heavier and heavier objects until you finally feel it and pass out? Or is he going to slip something into your food?" Alex asked with keen interest.

"I vote the first, I want to see him lift a manhole cover and that helicopter and slam them down on Percy," Thalia cackled.

Annabeth's tiny little grimace only made them laugh harder, and yet struck fear in Magnus because nobody denied he could do either! How many kids had he roofied to enforce naptime?!

"Sure," I grumbled. "Talk."

"Grumpy Percy," Thalia cooed as if to a fussy toddler. "Off to bed without a snack and not allowed to stay up past bedtime."

"If he ever tried that with you, you'd blow up the building out of spite," Percy scowled.

Thalia shrugged and didn't bother to deny it.

I trudged toward the Empire State Building. When I glanced back, Rachel and Chiron were walking together in earnest conversation, like they were discussing funeral arrangements.

"Is that not an appropriate thing to discuss after a helicopter nearly crashed?" Will asked blankly.

"You're not allowed to participate in this anymore Will," Percy scowled.

"Just try and stop him," Nico rolled his eyes. Percy clearly had no idea how stubborn he could be.

Inside the lobby, I found an empty bunk and collapsed, sure that I would never be able to sleep. A second later, my eyes closed.

In my dreams, I was back in Hades's garden. The lord of the dead paced up and down, holding his ears while Nico followed him, waving his arms.

Alex threw her head back and laughed. The kind of gasping right from her gut at such an awesome mental image.

"You have to!" Nico insisted.

Demeter and Persephone sat behind them at the breakfast table. Both of the goddesses looked bored.

Alex obviously couldn't breathe and it somehow just got worse. Magnus cautiously patted her shoulder.

"Percy no longer holds the trophy for most annoying demigod," Jason nodded in surprise. "Nico's over here battling him."

"I'll engrave him a trophy if it'll get me some peace," Percy sounded a tad reluctant though, like he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Alex was still giggling underneath them too which only had the others smiling at something that probably wasn't going to turn out to be funny.

Demeter poured shredded wheat into four huge bowls.

"At least you were invited to breakfast?" Will said blankly. He wanted to think that was a good thing, but clearly it wasn't going well.

"I wouldn't say invited when I was poofed in there," Nico sniffed. He hoped his father didn't think he'd be back allowed out of his room and not have something to say about it.

Persephone was magically changing the flower arrangement on the table, turning the blossoms from red to yellow to polka-dotted.

"I don't have to do anything!" Hades's eyes blazed. "I'm a god!"

"Can a god just stop doing their godly thing?" Percy asked in surprise. "Can Hades just decide to stop letting people into the Underworld? What would happen if my dad stopped...being the ocean?"

"I'm sure they can, but like, it might create an infinite loop of draining them because their godly thing doesn't exist anymore and then they'll lose power because they can't turn their own domain back on," Alex's eyes lit with excitement at the chaotic question.

Percy opened his mouth with intrigue and Annabeth quickly cut them off before their questions became potential plans. Those two got on like a house on fire and it was vaguely terrifying.

At least Percy easily allowed himself to switch back to Nico telling off Hades, something he'd gladly like to do himself.

"Father," Nico said, "if Olympus falls, your own palace's safety doesn't matter. You'll fade too."

"I am not an Olympian!" he growled. "My family has made that quite clear."

"You are,'' Nico said. "Whether you like it or not."

Alex felt ruffled. She never liked definitive statements. To be locked into something. Her first instinct was to chew Nico out and tell him not to put his father in a box like that.

She stood on that principle and would have engaged Nico on that even if it did help Percy in the long run, but chose not to because that felt like something that she didn't want to try and cram in around Percy's ongoing life.

"You saw what they did to your mother," Hades said. "Zeus killed her. And you would have me help them? They deserve what they get!"

Percy honestly felt that. It surprised him a bit to be so empathetic with this god, of all of them, but the amount of times he'd felt the same wasn't easy to ignore.

And Annabeth heard that in Percy's voice as he read it, and it made something in her quiver with unease how often that thought must have driven Luke.

Persephone sighed. She walked her fingers across the table, absently turning the silverware into roses. "Could we please not talk about that woman?"

Will made a huffy noise and should have felt more disturbed how often he wanted to strangle goddesses down here.

"You know what would help this boy?" Demeter mused. "Farming."

"How to help him hate the world and the slow passage of time and breaking your back for barely any payoff?" Thalia's scowl somehow deepend with each thing she listed.

"Not a fan of farming huh?" Magnus said without much surprise but mild hurt.

"Don't sweat it," she smirked, popping the hood of her jacket, both in answer to him and in explanation.

Persephone rolled her eyes. "Mother—"

"Six months behind a plow. Excellent character building."

"I mean," Annabeth said with a faint smile at Magnus still looking a little pouty and Thalia rolling her eyes. "I see both," she chuckled. If you worked hard for something and really earned it, somehow the reward felt better.

On the flip side, they should be gifted more without effort! Life was hard enough! She'd had more than one mental rant in her head to Hermes about him not gifting them all random presents just for the shit they put up with.

Nico stepped in front of his father, forcing Hades to face him. "My mother understood about family. That's why she didn't want to leave us. You can't just abandon your family because they did something horrible. You've done horrible things to them too."

Will squeezed Nico's arm tight with loving pride for saying that right to his dad's face, and then the feeling just kept growing so he started to chuckle and held his other hand up for a high five.

Nico immiedtily returned it with a proud smile, with the wild feeling of being accepted he hoped never wore off.

"Maria died!" Hades reminded him.

"You can't just cut yourself off from the other gods!"

"Good on you, don't let him redirect the problem," Magnus said with nothing but sympathy in his tone as he nodded at him. To much personal experience had told him that if he only focused on being the child with a dead mother would get him nowhere, especially not out of his sleeping bag.

"I've done very well at it for thousands of years."

"And has that made you feel any better?" Nico demanded. "Has that curse on the Oracle helped you at all? Holding grudges is a fatal flaw. Bianca warned me about that, and she was right."

Thalia grinned at him in delight. For taking his sister's words to such heart, for reminding a god they weren't infallible. It was truly sad how much Nico had been through to get to this moment, but she felt a misplaced pride for Bianca's little brother she wished she could convey that wouldn't come across as overstepping.

"Bianca would be proud," Jason said with simple confidence.

"I don't know I'd go that far," Nico shook his head. He knew exactly two things about her. She'd wanted to get away from him, and she'd still loved him anyways. She'd seemed to have some deep love for Artemis in her brief time as a hunter, though he wondered if that wasn't misplaced affection for fulfilling her desire. How Bianca would react to him shoving this in his father's face he didn't want to guess.

"I have a good feeling," Jason insisted anyways as he grinned at his big sister who was smiling back.

Bianca and her did seem to have a lot in common. Even if it wasn't a sound guess, Nico was starting to get the idea it was okay to go on your gut sometimes.

"For demigods! I am immortal, all-powerful! I would not help the other gods if they begged me, if Percy Jackson himself pleaded—"

Percy had a constipated look on his face. He really didn't like the image of groveling to Hades for help, even the fate of the world didn't feel worth that...but there had certainly been that moment when he'd seen Annabeth, hurt and bleeding at his feat.. maybe it wasn't the worst idea to be on at least this gods good side. He said it wouldn't work, but gods were fickle and just the attempt-

"Come back to me seaweed brain," Annabeth giggled as she shook his hand hard enough to jiggle his whole arm.

He flashed her a grin of agreement, but there was something lingering in his eyes that surprised her. It wasn't full-blown repulsion at any rate.

"You're just as much of an outcast as I am!" Nico yelled. "Stop being angry about it and do something helpful for once. That's the only way they'll respect you!"

Alex pressed her lips together tight to hide a twitching smile of understanding. Will looked a little hurt, and baffled at this somehow being Nico's goal in life right now, but honestly, she understood. Love was something they all instinctively wanted in their life, of course, but if you went to long without you started lowering your expectations. Respect was the only thing Nico had learned he could get from his ghostly minions, he probably couldn't fathom expecting more at that time.

Hades's palm filled with black fire.

"Go ahead," Nico said. "Blast me. That's just what the other gods would expect from you. Prove them right."

"Gods, now there's two of them," Annabeth moaned as she put her face in her hands.

"Yeah," Will agreed, digging deep to stop himself doing the same as he willed himself to accept this was how Nico was and how many times he'd kiss him before Nico no longer had a death wish. He might have to start comparing notes with her.

"Yes, please," Demeter complained. "Shut him up."

"I think the plant goddess just dropped to one of my least favorite goddesses," Magnus scowled at such carelessness. Could a god be used for mulch? That felt like to good for her.

Persephone sighed. "Oh, I don't know. I would rather fight in the war than eat another bowl of cereal. This is boring."

Hades roared in anger. His fireball hit a silver tree right next to Nico, melting it into a pool of liquid metal.

And the son of Hades didn't flinch, Percy alone knew as he looked around at him in concern. No matter how many times he'd faced death, Percy hadn't exactly gone out with the kind of quiet, angry acceptance that had been there as the fire passed inches from his face, the silver pooling around his boots before he blinked.

Sure he could have froze, but it seemed unlikely with the way he'd been able to fight the few times Percy had seen him.

This felt, like somthing else. Something Percy had no idea how to ask about.

And my dream changed.

I was standing outside the United Nations, about a mile northeast of the Empire State Building. The Titan army had set up camp all around the UN complex. The flagpoles were hung with horrible trophies—helmets and armor pieces from defeated campers.

Percy grimaced like he wished he had that omega axe back to stab each enemy with who dared do such a thing. Tossing them back off that bridge would just be the bonus.

All along First Avenue, giants sharpened their axes. Telkhines repaired armor at makeshift forges.

Kronos himself paced at the top of the plaza, swinging his scythe so his dracaenae bodyguards stayed way back. Ethan Nakamura and Prometheus stood nearby, out of slicing range. Ethan was fidgeting with his shield straps, but Prometheus looked as calm and collected as ever in his tuxedo.

"You know, it's probably because of that tux he's always so smug and calm," Alex lamented with a sigh.

She probably took that phrase, 'the clothes make the man' a little more seriously than the average person, but none of them were going to argue the point either.

"So you're saying we should rip it off him?" Magnus asked blankly.

She gave him a devilish smirk. "If that's something you think will work, I'm game to try."

Percy hastily read on from Magnus's red face at the implication.

"I hate this place," Kronos growled.

Glossing over the uncomfortable idea he'd moved out of Medusa's place to be able to hover even more over their every decision, Jason made a face of particular dislike for that for some reason as he grumbled, "sounds to me like he's hated every place he's been. Maybe he just needs a nice cabin in the woods to live out his time in grumpy silence."

"I'll build him a swamp and everything if he'll go for it," Percy agreed.

"United Nations. As if mankind could ever unite. Remind me to tear down this building after we destroy Olympus."

Alex had to fight very hard to swallow a laugh of agreement for him and mostly got away with it.

"Yes, lord." Prometheus smiled as if his master's anger amused him.

"That's called a death wish, something I'm not surprised Percy can easily read," Thalia nodded.

"I had to be good at something if not vowles," Percy shrugged.

"Shall we tear down the stables in Central Park too? I know how much horses can annoy you."

"Now he's actively giving him awful advice!" Annabeth scowled. "Some Titan of wisdom." Her disdain made them all pretty glad her mom wasn't in here to nodd along imposingly. None of them wanted to know what they'd do to prove Athena's superiority on the matter.

"Don't mock me, Prometheus! Those cursed centaurs will be sorry they interfered. I will feed them to the hellhounds, starting with that son of mine—that weakling Chiron."

"He says that like they're not all his sons?" Magnus asked in surprise. Weren't they all related?

"I bet it's one of those, when he's being annoyed he's his mom's son kind of thing," Percy shrugged.

Prometheus shrugged. "That weakling destroyed an entire legion of telkhines with his arrows."

"Wow, it took Percy using a whole volcano to manage the same," Nico said drolly. "I think maybe you over did it."

"It's a possibility Nico, but I already knew I could learn a lot more from Chiron than I've managed," he agreed.

Kronos swung his scythe and cut a flagpole in half. The national colors of Brazil toppled into the army, squashing a dracaena.

"What did Brazil do to him?" Will asked mildly. "I mean yeah, a Brazilian wax sounds painful, but that was a bit harsh."

"I'm a tad concerned that that's the first thing you thought of from there," Annabeth sighed, "Oscar Niemeyer has this style he used to-"

"Oscar Myer's from Brazil?" Percy asked.

"Not hotdogs Percy, get your mind off your stomach!" Jason tried to shush him and keep Annabeth going all at once, but that only seemed to make Percy lose interest in this altogether as he kept reading.

"We will destroy them!" Kronos roared. "It is time to unleash the drakon. Nakamura, you will do this."

Magnus instantly decided he didn't want to know what a drakon was. It was just to close in letters to dragon to be a good thing even before Kronos had one. Maybe, just this once, it would be a tiny lizard the size of his hand that would just crawl up to Percy's shoe and start nibbling on his good sneakers or something.

"Y-yes, lord. At sunset?"

"No," Kronos said. "Immediately. The defenders of Olympus are badly wounded. They will not expect a quick attack. Besides, we know this drakon they cannot beat."

Ethan looked confused. "My lord?"

"Never you mind, Nakamura. Just do my bidding. I want Olympus in ruins by the time Typhon reaches New York. We will break the gods utterly!"

"But, my lord," Ethan said. "Your regeneration."

Kronos pointed at Ethan, and the demigod froze.

"Does it seem," Kronos hissed, "that I need to regenerate?"

Ethan didn't respond. Kind of hard to do when you're immobilized in time.

"Sounds like he's just not creative enough to try," Alex sniffed. "Seems like a one trick pony to me. Now about destroying those stables..."

"I don't think Kronos is creative enough to follow this one Alex," Magnus chuckled. "Nice try though."

Annabeth wanted to laugh along, nod and make jokes about a horse dragging him back to Tartarus, but even now she couldn't stomach it quite right unless she imagined them as ghostly horses only there to rip Kronos away from Luke at last. Percy would probably just make some joke about flesh-eating horses doing the trick before moving on anyway.

Kronos snapped his fingers and Ethan collapsed.

"Soon," the Titan growled, "this form will be unnecessary. I will not rest with victory so close. Now, go!"

Ethan scrambled away.

"This is dangerous, my lord," Prometheus warned. "Do not be hasty."

"Hasty? After festering for three thousand years in the depths of Tartarus, you call me hasty?

"Um, yeah, but it's totally understandable man," Thalia said in mock simpering kindness. "Try going to long without eating a burger and you just inhale the thing, barely tasting it! You grabbed the first idiot who said yes to you and are rushing into your demise! Clearly hasty is involved!"

Annabeth bit back the urge to reach around Percy and shove her off her cushion. Didn't she hear that she was talking about Luke as much as Kronos when she said things like demise! It's like Thalia had really wanted him dead!

I will slice Percy Jackson into a thousand pieces."

"I'm not entirely sure you could even slice him into two pieces," Jason corrected clinically. "The spot on his back is only on the one side, he'd only be able to rip it off I guess, and that would be two pieces."

"Jason is officially fired from talking for the rest of this," Percy huffed. Next time he turned his back he'd probably pop up with one of those creepy circle-drawing instruments to get measurements and everything.

Jason pouted and looked minimally apologetic for suggesting the center of his back should be ripped out, so Percy reluctantly amended, "for the rest of this chapter."

"Ignore him Jace, he knows better than to pretend he could shut anyone up," Thalia rolled her eyes when Jason still looked a little reluctant.

"I wasn't saying Kronos should do it," Jason quickly agreed. "Just that it wasn't practical."

"Because that's better," Percy chuckled all the same.

"Thrice you've fought him," Prometheus pointed out. "And yet you've always said it is beneath the dignity of a Titan to fight a mere mortal. I wonder if your mortal host is influencing you, weakening your judgment."

Annabeth's breath caught in her throat, the hope, the fluttering smile she was trying to hide.

It was a lot for Percy to take. She'd been angry at this guy seconds ago, now she was latching onto his idea.

It at least gave him the modicum of hope every time she lashed out an opinion didn't mean she clung to it.

Kronos turned his golden eyes on the other Titan. "You call me weak?"

"No, my lord. I only meant—"

"Are your loyalties divided?" Kronos asked. "Perhaps you miss your old friends, the gods. Would you like to join them?"

Prometheus paled. "I misspoke, my lord. Your orders will be carried out." He turned to the armies and shouted, "PREPARE FOR BATTLE!"

'Kronos was a hasty fool,' Annabeth agreed with Thalia all the same even if she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. Ignoring all counsel, acting as if his win was inevitable despite never having been able to beat Percy outright. It gave her a warm flash to think Prometheus was right, Luke had been in there all along, if not as strong a presence as his blue eyes would allow. The idea gave her a nasty sense of pleasure as she imagined Luke scheming under the surface to thwart him as Kronos had once manipulated his own mind. Whispering to Kronos to do one thing, knowing the Titan lord would do the opposite.

The troops began to stir.

From somewhere behind the UN compound, an angry roar shook the city—the sound of a drakon waking. The noise was so horrible it woke me, and I realized I could still hear it from a mile away.

Grover stood next to me, looking nervous. "What was that?"

"They're coming," I told him. "And we're in trouble."

"And what did Grover eat when you told him that?" Magnus asked with resignation, only imagining how many shirts that guy went through.

"I think it was part of that hotdog cart actually," Percy shrugged, not able to identify the steal any better. At least it explained his earlier craving.

The Hephaestus cabin was out of Greek fire. The Apollo cabin and the Hunters were scrounging for arrows. Most of us had already ingested so much ambrosia and nectar we didn't dare take any more.

We had sixteen campers, fifteen Hunters, and half a dozen satyrs left in fighting shape.

There had always been the possibility that Kronos could win this just by sheer numbers of the monsters at his disposal, and that seemed to be spiraling into this more and more as Percy's voice dragged a little bit on each word. It was clear he was growing restless, hopeless, to get to what the true conclusion was before he'd rally himself again as he looked at Annabeth.

He just couldn't believe she'd be so calm and stoic about this if they'd lost this day, lost everyone and everything but each other. He just had to keep living through this endless swirl of deja vu until he got there.

The rest had taken refuge on Olympus. The Party Ponies tried to form ranks, but they staggered and giggled and they all smelled like root beer.

"Heavy on the root, apparently," Will muttered.

Nico snorted in surprise, he knew Will wasn't that naive.

The Texans were head-butting the Coloradoans.

Jason leaned forward with clear interest, clearly planning out a spreadsheet in his head of how each state interacted with each other, full of complicated tables and cross-flow charts. It looked exhausting, constantly having that kind of attention span.

The Missouri branch was arguing with Illinois. The chances were pretty good the whole army would end up fighting each other rather than the enemy.

"Civil War II?" Alex said with disinterest. "This isn't over that whole, make pot legal thing is it? Bit anticlimactic after the last one."

"Let's focus on one fight at a time," Annabeth reminded in exhaustion, even if this one was happening amidst theirs.

Chiron trotted up with Rachel on his back. I felt a twinge of annoyance because Chiron rarely gave anyone a ride, and never a mortal.

"Perhaps it's just because there are no mortals at your camp," Alex offered with a cheeky smirk. "For all you know, he has a preference to let them and just never shared."

"I didn't see May Castellan getting a ride," Percy rolled his eyes.

"You didn't get to see the whole day either," she shrugged without concern for her brilliant idea.

"Your friend here has some useful insights, Percy," he said.

Rachel blushed. "Just some things I saw in my head."

"That's what all insights are," Annabeth couldn't help but grumble on reflex just hearing her name.

"I see things inside my head too and I don't call them insights," Percy said with his typical grin, at least getting a chuckle out of the others.

"A drakon," Chiron said.

"A Lydian drakon, to be exact. The oldest and most dangerous kind."

"Because, it doesn't like to kill people?" Magnus asked without any hope.

He just got a few sad little looks and some sadder smiles still.

I stared at her. "How did you know that?"

"I'm not sure," Rachel admitted. "But this drakon has a particular fate. It will be killed by a child of Ares."

"Oh great! We've got a fresh batch of those somewhere!" Thalia mock dug through her pockets like she lost a cookie.

Annabeth crossed her arms. "How can you possibly know that?"

"I just saw it. I can't explain."

"Well, let's hope you're wrong," I said. "Because we're a little short on children of Ares. . . ." A horrible thought occurred to me, and I cursed in Ancient Greek.

"It's always so rude when this thing glosses over use of another language," Nico chuckled.

"I'm buying a swear jar the moment I get home," Will said on instinct to that.

"It's your money," Nico shrugged without concern.

"What?" Annabeth asked.

"The spy," I told her. "Kronos said, We know they cannot beat this drakon. The spy has been keeping him updated. Kronos knows the Ares cabin isn't with us. He intentionally picked a monster we can't kill."

"You can't kill," Jason couldn't help but correct. He only had a vague feeling what a drakon was and still felt confident Percy was the only one crazy enough who'd like to try.

"Not that it's going to stop him giving it his all," Thalia chuckled.

Thalia scowled. "If I ever catch your spy, he's going to be very sorry.

Alex felt an internal twitch of distaste, Thalia using male pronouns. Obviously the Huntress had a bias, but she worried it would get Thalia into trouble if she started underestimating the underhandedness of one gender.

Maybe we could send another messenger to camp—"

"I've already done it," Chiron said. "Blackjack is on his way.

"He sent a horse to talk sense into the jackass? There are so very many ways I can laugh at this," but Magnus's heart clearly wasn't in it from the start.

But if Silena wasn't able to convince Clarisse, I doubt Blackjack will be able—"

"To talk to her," Annabeth couldn't help but say the more obvious part of that problem.

"Maybe he was hoping Blackjack would just scoop down and drag her there and her cabin would follow," Percy said, but he didn't really believe that. She might hurt his horse if he tried.

A roar shook the ground. It sounded very close.

"Rachel," I said, "get inside the building."

"I want to stay."

A shadow blotted out the sun. Across the street, the drakon slithered down the side of a skyscraper. It roared, and a thousand windows shattered.

A very, very tiny dragon with an usually loud roar, Magnus tried one last time in vain to convince his brain.

He could even feel his brain sending him waves of pity now for continuing this delusion.

"On second thought," Rachel said in a small voice, "I'll be inside."

"Well, I can't say she doesn't have a bright idea every now and then," Annabeth rolled her eyes.

"She? It was my idea," Percy sighed. "One might even call it a brilliant insight!"

"One who is not a blonde," she shook her head with a smirk while Percy grumbled a bit more she was not cutting him a break today. It was very distracting from his usual headache. He should thank her later.

Let me explain:

"Please do not," Magnus groaned.

Alex was aggressively-passive-aggressively soothing his nerves by kicking him and signing at him to chill. Drakons probably couldn't swim down here.

there are dragons, and then there are drakons.

Drakons are several millennia older than dragons, and much larger. They look like giant serpents.

Most don't have wings. Most don't breathe fire (though some do). All are poisonous. All are immensely strong, with scales harder than titanium. Their eyes can paralyze you; not the turn-you~to-stone Medusatype paralysis, but the oh~my~gods-that~big~snake~is~going~to~eat~me type of paralysis, which is just as bad.

Alex wiped a bit of drool from the corner of her mouth. She ached to transform, to test the limits if she could do that. Gods did she miss the feeling of fluidity that came with shapeshifting at whim.

Somebody, some God, was going to pay for taking this away from her.

We have drakon-fighting classes at camp, but there is no way to prepare yourself for a two-hundred-foot-long serpent as thick as a school bus slithering down the side of a building, its yellow eyes like searchlights and its mouth full of razor-sharp teeth big enough to chew elephants.

"I'd love to hear more about those classes," Jason grinned.

"Does Will get inside a paper mache' drakon and chase the kids around?" Alex chuckled.

"Pretty close," Percy agreed. "We take these weird fuzzy-string-noodle-bean things with googly eyes and a whole bunch of them, tie 'um all together, and we all pick a color. Then once it's this huge mass we put it on the Big House like somebody TP'd it, and we throw javelins and waterballons at it."

"Cabin that knocks off the most of their color 'killed it'," Annabeth nodded.

Jason looked demonstrably disappointed at how fun that sounded, though Percy and Annabeth exchanged a look as they weren't sure if that was more disappointment in their practice or that he couldn't join in.

It almost made me long for the flying pig.

"Oh, I'm sure we can find you another one Percy," Magnus told him with a disturbing kind of calm. "And another Minotaur too, hey, why not even bring the flesh-eating horses back! We'll build you your own zoo of monsters Perce!"

"Guys, I think we broke Magnus," Percy chuckled.

"Eh, was bound to happen eventually," Alex grinned.

Annabeth however gave her cousin an understanding grin, and he nodded back. These two constantly playing off the monster attacks was just how they accepted it all. She knew he needed just a second to breathe in this new thing like she so often wished for.

Meanwhile, the enemy army advanced down Fifth Avenue. We'd done our best to push cars out of the way to keep the mortals safe, but that just made it easier for our enemies to approach.

'There was just no winning,' Jason repressed a shiver as the thought flickered in his mind. He did not like that this idea swam so easily just under the surface of his thoughts, what it could connect to aside from this.

The Party Ponies swished their tails nervously. Chiron galloped up and down their ranks, shouting encouragement to stand tough and think about victory and root beer, but I figured any second they would panic and run.

Annabeth had more faith in them. Perhaps just prolonged association with Chiron gave her more hope for their skill, or she'd seen them charge in once more than Percy upon the ship as well meant that their wavering resolve to fight was fleeting but impactful.

"I'll take the drakon." My voice came out as a timid squeak.

Magnus had rarely looked so pleased in here, but he did so now as he grinned at Percy. Not a smirk, not laughing, but a pleased grin like he finally felt like he wasn't the only one who would have possibly weaped on sight.

Percy gave him a nod of agreement. He really would rather fight pool noodles at camp than be out here with his life in danger. He just played it off better.

Then I yelled louder: "I'LL TAKE THE DRAKON! Everyone else, hold the line against the army!"

"Oh, is that all?" Thalia made sure he heard her this time as she'd pulled her hunting knives ready. "Anything else come to mind Percy?"

"I wouldn't mind if someone brought me a rootbear float right about then," Percy agreed. "Heard the centaurs talking about it way to much."

"It's not my fault if Annabeth went off your regular feeding schedule," Thalia rolled her eyes.

Annabeth stood next to me. She had pulled her owl helmet low over her face, but I could tell her eyes were red.

Percy felt wretched he'd made her cry. Then he got angry at Annabeth. It wasn't his fault Rachel had shown up when she did! Why did she have to freak out about that every time he needed her help!

Then he really looked at her again in here at got frustrated with himself. He knew she'd had a really miserable life where practically everybody let her down, and he wanted to be the exception. To prove to her that he was the one person who would put her first. He knew she already trusted him, he just had to think up some way to prove he could be the most trustful.

"Will you help me?" I asked.

"That's what I do," she said miserably. "I help my friends."

Percy groaned and felt the urge to rip his hair out. She'd made it sound like a miserable chore helping him!

I felt like a complete jerk. I wanted to pull her aside and explain that I didn't mean for Rachel to be here, that it wasn't my idea, but we had no time.

"It wouldn't have helped anyway," Annabeth said sullenly as she watched him beat himself up over this. "I was so confused Percy, I don't think anybody could have said the right words at that time." She paused and smiled and said the one thing she was sure would help. "Not even Luke."

That did bring a smile to his face, and she smiled she was able to do that when he clearly needed it.

"Go invisible," I said. "Look for weak links in its armor while I keep it busy. Just be careful."

"Sure. Careful. What isn't careful about scaling a giant snake looking for places some other fool had once tried to peel a scale off," Magnus nodded in a broken seesaw kind of way.

"Just like the lava walls at camp," she agreed.

I whistled. "Mrs. O'Leary, heel!"

"ROOOF!" My hellhound leaped over a line of centaurs and gave me a kiss that smelled suspiciously of pepperoni pizza.

"Awww, she just wanted to share!" Alex said in delight.

"I've finally found a standard when it comes to food," Percy sighed as he waved his hand in front of his nose. "Nowhere near my dog's mouth."

"Congrats man, had to happen eventually," Jason said as if in personal relief for his diet.

While Alex and Magnus exchanged a look and then just as quickly looked away, neither of them willing to acknowledge that stealing food people would give to stray dogs wasn't the lowest option they'd ever fallen to.

I drew my sword and we charged the monster.

The drakon was three stories above us, slithering sideways along the building as it sized up our forces.

Wherever it looked, centaurs froze in fear.

From the north, the enemy army crashed into the Party Ponies, and our lines broke. The drakon lashed out, swallowing three Californian centaurs in one gulp before I could even get close.

Of course backup had only meant more death on the horizon, Will hated the bleak thought. The parade of dead centaurs that might have saved their camp from being down to single digits when this was all over. The mass memorial they'd done for all those unnamed but lost had included a gallon of root beer, despite Mr. D's previous banishment of anything other than Diet Coke being allowed in camp.

Mrs. O'Leary launched herself through the air—a deadly black shadow with teeth and claws.

Normally, a pouncing hellhound is a terrifying sight, but next to the drakon, Mrs. O'Leary looked like a child's night-night doll.

Magnus made a pretty good impression of a squeaky toy you'd give a dog. Why couldn't the too big but sweet dog he was grappling to get the hang of be the worst?! Why did he now have to imagine wanting the dog to win the fight! While picturing her looking small as a flea on this monstrosity! What was this cruel world?!

Her claws raked harmlessly off the drakon's scales. She bit the monster's throat but couldn't make a dent. Her weight, however, was enough to knock the drakon off the side of the building. It flailed awkwardly and crashed to the sidewalk, hellhound and serpent twisting and thrashing. The drakon tried to bite Mrs. O'Leary, but she was too close to the serpent's mouth. Poison spewed everywhere, melting centaurs into dust along with quite a few monsters, but Mrs. O'Leary weaved around the serpent's head, scratching and biting.

Alex cheered, bouncing in her seat like a trampoline and fist-pumping the air. She'd never bothered going to sporting events or anything in the past, but she understood why people did it now. It just felt good to shout at the top of your lungs for your side to win even if it didn't do a lick of good.

"YAAAH!" I plunged Riptide deep into the monster's left eye. The spotlight went dark. The drakon hissed and reared back to strike, but I rolled aside.

Magnus was breathing a little easier, a little faster than normal. Not that he'd ever claim to finally being adjusted to all this mess. It was just a tad easier picturing other dark-haired heroes he'd read about, who always won the fight in the end and came out triumphant too. Percy had managed to do that all this time, maybe it wasn't so crazy to hope he'd keep going that all the way to the end.

It bit a swimming-pool-size chunk out of the pavement. It turned toward me with its good eye, and I focused on its teeth so I wouldn't get paralyzed. Mrs. O'Leary did her best to cause a distraction. She leaped onto the serpent's head and scratched and growled like a really angry black wig.

"I heard a thing once that you could drown lice in maple syrup and hear their tiny screams," Will offered. "Perhaps George's slightly scarier older brother would like some tips," he finished in a smaller and smaller voice. Picturing this massive behemoth from his nightmares whining about wanting rats was basically the only reason he wasn't trying to curl inside Nico's jacket right now.

"You get the marmalade man, I'll try anything," Percy sighed.

"And if that doesn't work out, we can dump it all into that new swimming pool he carved out and have a different kind of fun," Alex agreed.

"I'll push you into a vat of maple syrup any time you like Alex," Nico cackled.

"Yes! Best friend ever!" She whooped all the louder, so much so it probably should have started growing Percy levels of loud, but nobody really had the heart to to try and keep her quiet.

The rest of the battle wasn't going well. The centaurs had panicked under the onslaught of giants and demons. An occasional orange camp T-shirt appeared in the sea of fighting, but quickly disappeared.

Will struggled to swallow for a few painful moments as he now vividly remembered how often Micheal had complained about having nothing to wear but his camp shirts, particularly on nights of capture the flag. It made them such visible targets.

Arrows screamed. Fire exploded in waves across both armies, but the action was moving across the street to the entrance of the Empire State Building. We were losing ground.

Suddenly Annabeth materialized on the drakon's back. Her invisibility cap rolled off her head as she drove her bronze knife between a chink in the serpent's scales.

The drakon roared. It coiled around, knocking Annabeth off its back.

I reached her just as she hit the ground. I dragged her out of the way as the serpent rolled, crushing a lamppost right where she'd been.

Magnus was starting to get a nervous twitch that was gaining a life of its own as he kept realizing how many times Annabeth had nearly died, he was starting to lose count! He was sure he could ask Jason for an exact number, and he wasn't sure which disturbed him more.

"Thanks," she said.

"I told you to be careful!"

"Yeah, well, DUCK!"

"That's a strange way to say thank you. Is it Turkish? No, no, Portuguese?" Percy chuckled.

"It's shut your trap, a language I invented just for you," she grinned.

"What a terrifying thought, the gods will be speaking it in no time," Percy shrugged before moving on.

It was her turn to save me.

Magnus at least got a good laugh out of that, enough to make Percy and Annabeth exchange loving grins. They knew they were the main source of the poor guy's constant consternation in here, but it was nice they could alleviate some of that too with something so backbone to their life.

She tackled me as the monster's teeth snapped above my head. Mrs. O'Leary body-slammed the drakon's face to get its attention, and we rolled out of the way.

Meanwhile

"Is that your new anyways?" Jason rolled his eyes. "Kind of weird for you to switch it up so late in the game."

"I wish I could have meanwhiled half the crap I went through," Percy huffed. "Meanwhile, Grover was eating nachos and chilling waiting on me to rescue him in comfort and style! Meanwhile, Thalia was learning to play the banjo!"

"Pass," she frowned.

"Fine, live with your demons, I tried," Percy shrugged.

our allies had retreated to the doors of the Empire State Building. The entire enemy army was surrounding them.

We were out of options. No more help was coming. Annabeth and I would have to retreat before we were cut off from Mount Olympus.

It wasn't lifeless, per say, Nico would know that tone, but there was a listless...hopeless tone to Percy's voice he could barely wrap his head around. Percy had been kicked, beaten down, and pushed to his limits multiple times before he'd ever sounded this defeated.

Percy just needed a win. A flat victory without some catastrophe immediately following.

... Annabeth being in here was probably the closest he was going to get any time soon.

Then I heard a rumbling in the south. It wasn't a sound you hear much in New York, but I recognized it immediately: chariot wheels.

A girl's voice yelled, "ARES!"

Jason lit up like a flare, he just knew Clarisse's duty to her people would overrule her hurt pride! He knew she had it in her all along!

He was the only one.

Magnus and Alex exchanged actual disbelieving looks. Another trick from Kronos? Nico's newest idea to help by taking possession of someone? It just seemed, pretty wild of her to have changed her mind even after Micheal had offered the chariot back! What could Silena have said to finally make her come around?

Hopefully they'd get to hear the full explanation soon, because this was the peak in the Bizaro Mountain path.

And a dozen war chariots charged into battle. Each flew a red banner with the symbol of the wild boar's head.

Jason made a face at them bothering to take the time to put up decorations while riding to their rescue, but hey, if it had made them get there a little faster to show off, couldn't complain to much. It did gender a sense of comradery he supposed...

Alex was beaming with pride and nodding along for them making sure everyone knew their aesthetics.

Each was pulled by a team of skeletal horses with manes of fire. A total of thirty fresh warriors, armor gleaming and eyes full of hate, lowered their lances as one—making a bristling wall of death.

"The children of Ares!" Annabeth said in amazement. "How did Rachel know?"

Magnus sat up very straight in his seat as something occurred to him. Kronos had used this drakon because of some ancient Greek proverb or whatever about it having to be killed by a child of Ares, same as Rachel had declared. Was it possible there was no spy in camp at all? But that Kronos had somehow got his hands on some poor mortal child with gifted eyes? Watching them for years!

I didn't have an answer. But leading the charge was a girl in familiar red armor, her face covered by a boar's-head helm. She held aloft a spear that crackled with electricity. Clarisse herself had come to the rescue. While half her chariots charged the monster army, Clarisse led the other six straight for the drakon.

Annabeth shook her head at herself. How could she ever have guessed what was coming? It was such a, Clarisse thing to do, something so insane only Percy would also be guilty of that action. How those two hadn't gotten along better she looked back and wasn't quite sure.

The serpent reared back and managed to throw off Mrs. O'Leary. My poor pet hit the side of the building with a yelp.

"Kick its scaly ass girl!" Alex declared with a predatory smile.

'She did not,' Percy winced at his gut reaction to those words. Something...something of this was wrong...he could feel it in every word coming out of his mouth, every time he said Clarisse's name...

Annabeth placed her hand on his shoulder. It was the kind of comfort that offered only support, no judgment for his stupid, useless mind never being able to grasp a simple concept like thank you.

I ran to help her, but the serpent had already zeroed in on the new threat. Even with only one eye, its glare was enough to paralyze two chariot drivers. They veered into a line of cars. The other four chariots kept charging. The monster bared its fangs to strike and got a mouthful of Celestial bronze javelins.

"EEESSSSS!!!!!" it screamed, which is probably drakon for OWWWW!

"Cool to hear you've been taking parseltongue lessons from Grover," Magnus said as he tried not to cover up his mouth in horror at the idea of a bunch of tiny humans stabbing the inside of his mouth with toothpicks.

Percy just gave him a blank look and decided he didn't want to know. He still wouldn't claim to be fluent in English.

"Ares, to me!" Clarisse screamed. Her voice sounded shriller than usual, but I guess that wasn't surprising given what she was fighting.

Jason's smug smile finally wavered in a bit of confusion upon that descriptor. Clarisse's voice had never once been shown to get higher, no matter how stressed. He'd expect it to get lower, gruffer as she took command. He might have been projecting a little to hard on her and probably needed some serious psychoanalysis...and maybe a separate talk about why he saw so much of himself in a girl...

Across the street, the arrival of six chariots gave the Party Ponies new hope. They rallied at the doors of the Empire State Building, and the enemy army was momentarily thrown into confusion.

"Sounds like it doesn't take much," Alex was still leering at Mrs. O'Leary having gotten hurt so bad and was vividly imagining all manner of distraction she'd like to do. Using their heads for bowling for starters and watching with glee as they disintegrated.

Meanwhile, Clarisse's chariots circled the drakon. Lances broke against the monster's skin. Skeletal horses breathed fire and whinnied. Two more chariots overturned, but the warriors simply leaped to their feet, drew their swords, and went to work. They hacked at chinks in the creature's scales. They dodged poison spray like they'd been training for this all their lives, which of course they had.

Thalia rubbed at the back of her neck awkwardly. Now didn't seem a nice time to mention they'd practiced with hoses, albeit Percy the one spraying them with totalitarian glee. Those kids were just doing the bravest damned job, if not the best one, for her to be condescending about it right now. She was more jealous than anything she hadn't the chance to shoot one more arrow into this stupid thing's other eye.

No one could say the Ares campers weren't brave.

"I don't think anybody's said that actually," Nico agreed.

Travis had once, and Will was still surprised he'd lived through it.

Clarisse was right there in front, stabbing her spear at the drakon's face, trying to put out its other eye. But as I watched, things started to go wrong. The drakon snapped up one Ares camper in a gulp. It knocked aside another and sprayed poison on a third, who retreated in a panic, his armor melting.

"We have to help," Annabeth said.

The fact that Percy hadn't leaped in to help was the only thing to prove to them how stunned he'd been by this turn of events. It only reinforced to Magnus and Alex how...amiss something felt, but for no good reason.

She was right. I'd just been standing there frozen in amazement. Mrs. O'Leary tried to get up but yelped again. One of her paws was bleeding.

If Sally had been awake, Magnus instantly would have suggested reuniting those two. Will certainly had his hands full. It was possible one of the injured party ponies sitting out could limp over to attend to her- his thoughts stopped cold as he realized what he'd been doing. Trying to cobble together ideas in actual concern, for a dog. An enormous wolf-shaped beast with her own glowing eyes!

He studied his hands in fascination, he'd swear they were glowing, just a faint bit, like he was about to explode from such a shift in viewpoint. Today really was just full of surprises.

"Stay back, girl," I told her. "You've done enough already."

Annabeth and I jumped onto the monster's back and ran toward its head, trying to draw its attention away from Clarisse.

Her cabinmates threw javelins, most of which broke, but some lodged in the monster's teeth. It snapped its jaws together until its mouth was a mess of green blood, yellow foamy poison, and splintered weapons.

Alex's mind was churning with distress at her lack of ability to do anything. Start forming a mold of this, get a really big shovel to help smack it over the head, gods even just to stop and take a breath and capture the mental image. She loved snakes, she wanted to rip this ones scales off one by one. There was a lot going on!

"You can do it!" I screamed at Clarisse. "A child of Ares is destined to kill it!"

'That should have bolstered her,' Annabeth nodded to herself. 'She'd always been proud of her father, for reasons beyond me.' Instead 'Clarisse had seemed surprised to hear such a thing, looking away from her target. She wasn't holding the spear quite as loose as she normally would, as if it were spontaneously a bit bigger in her hands.

All of these things, of course, were only clear as she looked back.

Through her war helmet, I could only see her eyes—but I could tell something was wrong. Her blue eyes shone with fear. Clarisse never looked like that. And she didn't have blue eyes.

"You've never mentioned her eye color, actually," Jason said, mostly to himself it seemed as his stomach swooped unpleasantly. He usually pictured her with brown eyes, perhaps with hints of hazel or amber...then he realized he wasn't trying to picture Clarisse's face at all, but someone else's. It was maddening as he tried to untangle his thoughts that had somehow mashed together himself, some unknown girl, and this daughter of Ares.

"ARES!" she shouted, in that strangely shrill voice. She leveled her spear and charged the drakon.

"No," I muttered. "WAIT!"

But the monster looked down at her—almost in contempt—and spit poison directly in her face.

The words to describe something like that felt small in comparison to the surge of feeling Percy had gotten upon watching. The anger, the fear, the regret.

'Not again,' the words had whispered somewhere in his mind as Bianca and Zoe, Beckendorf and Micheal studied him with their judgemental, ghostly eyes. 'She'd been wearing a helmet, it would have taken the brunt of the damage! Nothing a little ambrosia wouldn't fix, this hadn't happened again!'

She screamed and fell.

"Clarisse!" Annabeth jumped off the monster's back and ran to help, while the other Ares campers tried to defend their fallen counselor. I drove Riptide between two of the creature's scales and managed to turn its attention on me.

I got thrown but I landed on my feet. "C'MON, you stupid worm! Look at me!"

For the next several minutes, all I saw were teeth. I retreated and dodged poison, but I couldn't hurt the thing.

This was, a surprise, the longer Magnus thought about it. Percy had just broken a bridge! He'd weakened a Titan and then slaughtered a giant flying pig with nary a sigh. But a big snake? He couldn't punch it in the nose? Stab it in the roof of its mouth, especially because none of those teeth were a danger to his arm.

This was what, day three of a never-ending battle though? Everybody kept warning Percy of how exhausted he'd grow the longer he kept this up. Even in here, a week of sporadically using his powers and using more energy to control them than anything left him looking exhausted after a full night's sleep.

It was quite sad to hear now, of all times, Percy's battling starting to slow as Kronos's only grew by the hour.

At the edge of my vision, I saw a flying chariot land on Fifth Avenue.

Then someone ran toward us. A girl's voice, shaken with grief, cried, "NO! Curse you, WHY?"

I dared to glance over, but what I saw made no sense. Clarisse was lying on the ground where she'd fallen. Her armor smoked with poison. Annabeth and the Ares campers were trying to unfasten her helmet. And kneeling next to them, her face blotchy with tears, was a girl in camp clothes. It was . . . Clarisse.

Alex's mouth was just left hanging open before she could even begin to make an evil doppelganger joke. Magnus felt like his brain was lagging behind again, to slow to keep up with these half-god kids even when death and grief was one of the few things he most easily understood of their everyday life.

Jason, though, felt a stirring of something that didn't feel like surprise. No, it felt more refined, slowly kindling to life. 'History had a way of repeating itself,' Nico had reminded several times...and Jason had a feeling he'd read this story before as the dust settled in his mind of understanding why Silena had done such a thing.

With Beckendorf gone, she'd been a wreck. She'd needed to do something, fix a mistake she might not be responsible for, but one in her power to correct. When she'd charged off promising Percy she'd help, boy did that girl go to any lengths to do so.

My head spun. Why hadn't I noticed before? The girl in Clarisse's armor was much thinner, not as tall. But why would someone pretend to be Clarisse?

'Halloween joke gone very wrong?' But Alex sighed and didn't bother with the joke. It wasn't right, hearing in detail another brutal outcome of this war, of a teenager just trying to step up and do the impossible.

I was so stunned, the drakon almost snapped me in half. I dodged and the beast buried its head in a brick wall.

'Where it could stay,' Thalia thought with vengeance. That thing was good for one use only, Clarisse had finally gone into battle without looking over her shoulder to see if her dad was watching, and she'd earned his respect for it at last. The cost was just too high.

"WHY?" The real Clarisse demanded, holding the other girl in her arms while the campers struggled to remove the poison-corroded helmet.

Chris Rodriguez ran over from the flying chariot. He and Clarisse must've ridden it here from camp, chasing the Ares campers, who'd mistakenly been following the other girl, thinking she was Clarisse. But it still made no sense.

Percy waited for the laughter, for someone to tell him how slow he was on the uptake. He felt, as usual, the last pick, the idiot always having to be explained his own life story to.

They didn't. From what he could guess, at least Magnus also hadn't a clue what was going on, and he didn't have the best poker face to hide it. Well that was at least a small relief, if someone as sharp as Annabeth's cousin wasn't a mile ahead of him.

The drakon tugged its head from the brick wall and screamed in rage.

No one needed a translator for that either. Will had felt the whole building shake with its outrage, and his usual steady hands had shook terribly as memories of Lee blurred together with horrible visions of what happened to Micheal underneath that horrible hissing. Like every gas main in the city had broke at once, like the scales were wrapping around him, chafing every inch of his skin until he couldn't breathe.

He was probably holding Nico's hand too tight, but he never protested as Will kept stroking the smooth patterns of his warm skin to chase it all away, maybe for good at last.

"Look out!" Chris warned.

Instead of turning toward me, the drakon whirled toward the sound of Chris's voice. It bared its fangs at the group of demigods.

The real Clarisse looked up at the drakon, her face filled with absolute hate. I'd seen a look that intense only once before. Her father, Ares, had worn the same expression when I'd fought him in single combat.

When he'd cursed Percy's blade after his stupid ankle was stabbed, Thalia's smile looked cruel as she recalled, because it wasn't the greatest of memories to invoke, not with the end results. Somehow the war gods input, even his childrens, always had to go hand in hand with death even to assure a victory.

Still, there was no grudge against Clarisse for her father's blood rushing through. No amount of pamphlets waved in her face would have worked, not after this day. She'd snapped out of one kind of love for another when she'd felt Chris was in danger. She had no choice but to admire that, even if she wasn't so sure she'd ever feel the same way again.

"YOU WANT DEATH?" Clarisse screamed at the drakon.

Not even Alex had the split second to bother with a defense that this could just be an animal. Could be a peaceful dwelling snake safely asleep before Kronos had woken it up. It had killed to much already not to be asking for death in return.

"WELL, COME ON!"

She grabbed her spear from the fallen girl. With no armor or shield, she charged the drakon.

I tried to close the distance to help, but Clarisse was faster. She leaped aside as the monster struck, pulverizing the ground in front of her. Then she jumped onto the creature's head. As it reared up, she drove her electric spear into its good eye with so much force it shattered the shaft, releasing all of the magic weapon's power.

Electricity arced across the creature's head, causing its whole body to shudder. Clarisse jumped free, rolling safely to the sidewalk as smoke boiled from the drakon's mouth. The drakon's flesh dissolved, and it collapsed into a hollow scaly tunnel of armor.

That. That was what a part of each of them had been expecting Percy to do all along.

Everyone except Percy.

He'd stood numb in the street, even his Styx heightened abilities hadn't moved so fast as to take out its remaining eye, the slithering king had just been to fast for him. Clarisse had done it like nothing, leaving him in her dust. She probably could have dragged him along the way and shoved his head in that thing's mouth like another toilet all over again.

The prophecy nagged in his mind again, like he really had heard the Oracle's piercing voice carving the words into his brain. 'Cursed blade'...Riptide had failed time and again to do any damage to this thing what Clarisse's spear had done with the same blow. 'Hero's soul'...why did everyone keep thinking he was the great child of the prophecy when a hero was supposed to save them, not sit back and watch? Just because Nico and Thalia hadn't had some non-important birthday really shouldn't disqualify them...

The rest of us stared at Clarisse in awe. I had never seen anyone take down such a huge monster single-handedly. But Clarisse didn't seem to care. She ran back to the wounded girl who'd stolen her armor.

Finally Annabeth managed to remove the girl's helmet. We all gathered around: the Ares campers, Chris, Clarisse, Annabeth, and me. The battle still raged along Fifth Avenue, but for that moment nothing existed except our small circle and the fallen girl.

Her features, once beautiful, were badly burned from poison. I could tell that no amount of nectar or ambrosia would save her.

Something is about to happen. Rachel's words rang in my ears. A trick that ends in death.

Now I knew what she meant, and I knew who had led the Ares cabin into battle.

I looked down at the dying face of Silena Beauregard.

'Help from a thief,' Percy's brain still felt like it was moving through that pool of syrup as he stared down at the words. Silena, who had stolen Clarisse's armor.

Alex made no call-back jab at Jason for his lack of reaction, nobody demanded to be handed the book next to merrily skip on past this.

So Percy remained where he was, cradling the blood-red spine as broken images, memories clammered to be seen. Silena's death had not matched her beauty, but then nothing could, not even the best-built pyre. Her hair and eyes would shimmer different colors, almost as if a shapeshifter at times, perhaps a small extension of her mother's gift to be the most gorgeous girl around and match all of their appearances only to be the best of them all. He could still remember the first time he'd met her, blonde braid over one shoulder, eyes a shimmering silver in the high sun, but painstakingly beautiful make up that somehow still matched the orange camp shirt and cut off jean shorts.

She'd always been taller than him, of course, but one of the nicest girls he'd ever met from the Aphrodite cabin. He'd probably have fallen off Blackjack a dozen times if not for her tutelage. She passed out those chocolates at camp with the kind of smile that felt more like a reward than the sweet for being included.

There was a flicker of silver lingering in his mind he couldn't shake as he looked around at Annabeth's dark gray eyes for some kind of explanation. Why hadn't it all stopped there? Why wouldn't the world ever grind to a halt and realize it was missing a passenger?

Annabeth waited until she was sure he was ready before she took the book for herself, with no good answer for him any more than their parents could offer.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Six (Part 2)

Jen, as expected, does not enjoy the exhibition. “I just don’t understand how this is art.” She says as the three of us look at a bean shaped piece of rusted metal that hangs on chains from the ceiling. “It’s just ugly, and it makes no sense to me. I’m sorry if that makes me sound ignorant, but I just don’t see the skill in this.”

Jude shrugs. “It’s not really about the skill though. It’s all in the process.” I walk over and read the little snippet about the piece. It was created by a woman who made a mould of her entire body, lay there still for hours while it dried, and then encased the entire thing in metal like a cocoon. It is a commentary about female oppression and mental illness, and I think I get it. 

“It’s supposed to evoke a reaction” I say, hoping that I don’t sound pretentious. “And I guess you being confused by it counts as a reaction, so you could say that it’s done its job”

Jude nods in agreement and I am secretly thrilled by this. “Art stopped being about perfect, realistic impressions a century ago anyway, like there’s no real value in painting a scene that looks photorealistic anymore. If I wanted to portray a group of people in a park, or a pretty mountain view, I would just get a camera and take a photo. Nowadays it’s all about how you feel when you look at something, even if that feeling is anger or frustration, at least you’re not feeling nothing.”

I think to myself that he sounds very smart when he talks about art, intimidatingly so, and I imagine that somehow that must mean he must be a very talented artist too. “I like the floating bean.” I announce. “I agree about it being ugly, but it’s powerful, the way it’s just hanging here in a big empty room.”

“Hmm, yes, powerfully dull.” Jen says, and we laugh. “I don’t know, guys, I think I’m going to go browse in the gift shop. I’m not picking up what this exhibition is putting down.”

“Okay” Jude shrugs. “We’ll meet you down there afterwards.” Jen hits the stairs then as Jude and I walk into the next room. We start reading the explanation of the next exhibit, which is a looping video on an old 90s era television of a man taking off all his clothes very slowly and then climbing into a bed. 

For some reason I am very aware of the nearness of him when we are next to each other. We aren’t touching, but it’s like I am standing in his aura or something. “Hm, Cool.” He speaks softly and my neck tingles like I can feel his breath on me even though I know it’s all in my head. I feel slightly panicky, and a part of me wishes that Jen was still here to act as a buffer. 

“So what’s your deal?” He asks me as we walk through another exhibition.

“To be honest, there’s not much to say about me.”

“Of course there is!”

“No, well, I'm not that interesting, is all, and I don’t want to bore you.”

“Seriously, I want to know.”

“Well…” I start hesitantly. “Like, Tullamore is dull, I go to an all girls school, and really, nothing very interesting happens day to day.”

“So you wish you could leave.”

“Yeah, all the time. I kind of feel like… I don’t know, like I don’t belong there or something. It’s a small town and I think I’m just a bit different from a lot of people.”

“Yeah, I understand that.” For some reason I know that he means it, and he’s not just saying it to make me feel better. 

“I’d love to be somewhere with likeminded people. That’s why I really envy you going to Berlin, I just imagine what it’d be like to be able to be fully myself and everyone would be just… fine with it.”

He looks surprised when I mention him going away. “Oh well, it was an easy choice for me. I feel the same as you sometimes too, like I just want to know what else is out there. I don’t want to go back to the US, but I don’t really want to stay in Ireland either.” He shrugs. “I don’t know about needing to be a different person though. Don’t you think that if you were yourself here then people would be fine with it?”

“I don’t know. I feel like I’ve such a history of being… odd, and doing weird things, and I don’t know if i can come back from that. I’d rather just start again and be a new, better version of myself somewhere else.” I don’t really know why I’m telling him this, to be honest. It feels way too personal, but for some reason I feel like he genuinely wants to know, like he’s not asking just to be polite and keep the conversation going. 

We sit down on a bench together and look at a huge, grotesque sculpture made of rubbish and beer cans. “What about your friends though?” He asks me. “And your boyfriend? Don’t they like this current version of you?”

I let out a surprised snort of laughter and then clamp my hands over my mouth. I don’t know what that sound was, but it’s too late to shove it back in. Jude laughs at me, looking perplexed and then I do too. “Sorry, I don’t know what that was.”

“Did I say something I shouldn’t have? Sorry, your reaction was just-”

“No no, just you said that Liam is my boyfriend and-”

“Oh, shit, he’s not? My bad, I just assumed.” 

I smile to myself at our awkwardness – he seems embarrassed, which I find really disarming, and I really don’t want him to feel bad. “No, he’s not. I don’t know what he is, we just hang out and… stuff. He’s a really nice person.”

“He is.” He doesn’t say anything for a moment then and just looks straight ahead at the horrible sculpture with a concentrated face. “Hm.” He says eventually “I always feel so bad about Liam.”

“What? Why?”

“Because we used to be so mean to him when we were younger.”

“Really?” “Yeah, he was just this happy little kid, he always wanted to be involved with us, but it was like, he was always way too eager, you know what I mean? We thought he was this hokey little country boy, we used to think it was really funny to mess with him.”

“What kind of things did you do?”

“Nothing terrible. Just… it was more like…” I can see him thinking hard, trying to find the right words to explain himself. “He thought that we were really grown up or something, I guess, and he wanted to come and hang out the whole time, which was fine. The guys just had this thing about not sharing our drink with him, you know, because it’d be a waste because he’d just end up getting sick and having to get his mother to come and pick him up from the party. So we started pouring him drinks out of a vodka bottle filled with water, and he never noticed.” He grins a little with the memory of it, and I can tell that he’s still a bit amused by it.

“That’s not bad” I reassure him. “That’s actually responsible in my opinion, and I honestly wish that Kelly would fall for that kind of trick, but she can sniff out alcohol like a bloodhound.”

“Nah, like the bad part is how much he really didn’t notice it. It was like a crazy placebo effect or something, and he’d still stumble around like he was drunk. We thought it was hilarious.” He turns and looks at me as he’s talking, and I realise that I feel totally pulled along with him. It’s like he’s the most interesting person in the world right now and I am hanging on his every word. “And then one time when we were fifteen Joe got weed from this guy in town and everyone was dying to try it, but like, Liam was there and we knew it’d be a bad idea to give him some.”

“So what did you do?”

“The classic – I got some herbs from the kitchen cabinet and rolled them up for him, and then guess what?”

“He didn’t notice?”

“Right! He didn’t even notice. He smoked our little fake joint and then-” He’s chuckling now at the memory, and I’m honestly feeling a bit embarrassed. Not for Liam, but to my great shame, of him. “-and then after an hour he was rolling around on the rug saying that he could taste colours and that like, the fibres of the rug felt so soft. We had to get his mother to collect him again.” He lets out this hilarious sounding cackle, and then I start laughing too, mostly at the sound he made, but also a little bit at the story. I shake my head, “You’re a mean boy.”

“I know!” He says wildly. “I’m a bastard.” He gets up and signals towards the next room. “We should go and see the rest of the exhibits. I don’t want to leave Jen down in the gift shop all day, she’ll be bored.”

“Okay” I say, and then I feel kind of bad about talking to him so much, I remind myself that he came here to look at art, not talk to me about Liam and my feelings all day. 

Prev // Next

[greyias]

Still poking my way very slowly through Act 1 of BG3 with my half-elf pally girl, Aravyn, and just had the best series of quests/encounters that hit me a little in the feels.

So, long long ago, when WotC was starting to play test 5e, I started to attend some D&D Encounter sessions at a local comic/game shop, where we'd use some random pre-rolled character sheets to play. And I got handed the following:

This randomized Paladin who, for some reason, was also a wandering minstrel. I got to play her for all of one session, and unfortunately never was able to attend any more sessions (for reasons). Yet this yodeling Paladin has lived rent-free in my head for years, but had never found a group to play with in the years following.

So when I realized that I might be able to bring a version of her to life in BG3, I leapt on the chance and gave her the Entertainer background, and despaired a little that I couldn't multiclass her into Bard in Explorer Mode (although there is a mod for that).

I found a lute on the beach, played it very badly in camp and got yelled at by Lae'zel for it. And then, I wandered a little bit outside of the Druid's camp, to find a Tiefling bard singing so badly a bunch of squirrels were wailing with despair.

Having failed so spectacularly in serenading the camp, it would have been smart for poor Aravyn to just talk her way through this encounter. But here she was, being offered a lute and a chance to inspire someone with music.

And she knocked it out of the park -- being gifted the lute of the bard's deceased lover mentor as thanks for helping her break out of writer's block. (I mean, I get it. I feel that pain Alfira)

Mood™

Right afterwards, because I refuse to take a long rest while still full up on spell slots, I kept the party exploring, and encountered the harpy ambush at the beach. And we died. A lot. Especially in a frontal assault. So finally as a last ditch effort before having to put off saving the tiny child being lured in as a harpy snack for a better leveled party, I just had Aravyn sneak up behind and yeet herself from the harpy nest straight at the beasty ladies on the rock where they were hiding.

As you do.

Anyway, Shadowheart joined her, because what else should a healer do but leap into the fray and harm's way? (there was no way this was going to work, so what did I have to lose but my pride, I told myself) And as both holy ladies started swinging away wildly while the warlock and wizard looked on from above, I found myself wishing I really had some levels in bard in order to use countersong* to nullify the crooning harpy below slowly luring a little tiefling child to his doom.

After exhausting all actions and bonus actions, and since I had Lihala's lute already equipped with nothing else to do in between rounds I was like "...fuck it, we rock", and started blasting a song.

My Paladin, apparently, while fighting a bunch of harpies.

And I don't know if it was just a quirk of the dice rolls, but it worked. On his next round, the tiefling child immediately was able to break free of the song, which was the first time that had happened in all five tries and started running the fuck away. And I was like "...wait what?" and so after kicking ass on the next round, played again. And he was able to resist again and kept running further away while the harpies were distracted tearing the party to pieces.

No one in the party got charmed while Aravyn was playing her heart out, and by guzzling a lot of healing potions, they were able to just manage to squeak out a win. Bloodied and burning through all of their spell slots, they were victorious.

Uh, so yeah. Apparently I unintentionally recreated the end of season 4 of Stranger Things (with less tragedy!), and saved a little kid with the power of rock and roll while using the lute of slain bard. And damn, if that's not a true D&D experience I don't know what is. So I think it's safe to say that Larian has been able to somewhat recapture some of that lightning in a bottle feeling of playing a tabletop RPG in this game.

(even if that was all luck of dice rolls and playing the lute did nothing, I'm headcanoning Ari was channeling Lihala's spirit, because that's a far better story)

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 58: Family Loyalties

Previous chapters // Montserrat’s masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing: Rafael Barba x OC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @anotherunreadblog​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @averyhotchner​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @abzidabzy​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @hellofutur​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @foxesandmagic​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @xovalliegirlxo @sam-i–am @kmc1989​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

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Montserrat waited outside Rafael's office until he finished talking with Nick, although given the circumstances of said conversation, she doubted it would take long. She left Carmen when she felt like she was irritating the woman rather than simply conversing. She lingered outside in the hallway instead and came across her cousin.

"Fancy seeing you here," Casey came up to Montserrat with a smirk on her face. "Of course I know who you're here to see and it's not me."

Montserrat rolled her eyes. "Oh calm down. We can have dinner if you'd like?"

"Save it," Casey leaned close to Montserrat and lowered her voice. "I'd rather attend the dinner you're supposed to host for your family soon? Uncle Thomas hasn't met your boyfriend, so…"

Montserrat almost made a whimper. "I'm dreading it. Dad and Gael can go overboard and I don't want them overwhelming Rafael."

Casey snorted. "Please, that man is never overwhelmed unless it's the coffee in his system."

"Casey."

"I'm not lying. It's always between coffee or scotch."

"Casey!" Montserrat let out a heavy sigh while Casey laughed. "It's not easy. It's actually very scary. The last time I had a boyfriend was, well…"

Casey sobered quickly from her laugh. "Before you went undercover."

"Mhm…" Montserrat nodded. "I had to break up with him after coming out of UC and Dad and Gael always asked me why."

At that time, Montserrat didn't know what was more painful: explaining to her father and brother that she was raped or having to explain it to her then boyfriend. She knew that each of them loved her and only wanted to understand and she was incapable of explaining herself.

"Did you ever talk to him again?"

"Theo? No…" Montserrat gave a shake of her head, "When I ran from Queens, I ran. I didn't talk to anybody afterwards."

"Mm," Casey looked around the hallway as if someone were going to overhear them. "So you haven't really thought about what you're going to say to them when you organize this dinner?"

Montserrat shook her head. "Not a clue. I mean, Gael already knows that I'm seeing someone but as far as he knows, it was brand new and, well, now it's not so new."

"So what is it now?" The look on Casey's face was one Montserrat always referred to as her 'lawyer' face. It was the face Casey used to demand answers and honest ones. When they were younger, Montserrat always answered like she was on the stand.

"I'm 30! You can't keep doing that face to me!" Montserrat groaned, making Casey laugh.

"I'll stop when it doesn't work anymore!"

"I hate you," spat Montserrat.

"Bummer. And here I was going to offer my help with this upcoming dinner," Casey said with a hand on her chest. "You want somebody to warm your father up to this idea of a boyfriend, right?"

As much as Montserrat would want to say Casey wrong, she couldn't because she really did need all the help she could get. "I really hate you but yeah. Wouldn't come by so badly if you did have a couple tactics up your sleeve."

Casey's lips stretched into a wide smile. "I'd be happy to. When is it?"

"I don't know yet, probably after this whole case is over. I want to have Kara and Damien over too. Lessen the blow, you know? They know too."

"Mm, smart," Casey remarked. "At your place too?"

"Of course. So start clearing out your calendar because you're coming," warned Montserrat.

Casey chuckled until the office door flung open behind them and Nick stormed out.

"Looks like Rafael told him everything…" Montserrat said as they watched Nick disappear out the door. "I told him Nick would react this way, and it's not like he didn't have reason to."

"What's the case?" asked Casey curiously.

"None of your business, Novak." Rafael had come up behind the two women.

Montserrat snorted and Casey jabbed her elbow in her side. "What is so funny?" the latter demanded.

"Nothing, it's just weird not being on the other end of that for once."

Neither Casey nor Rafael were amused with Montserrat at the moment.

"I'm sorry," Montserrat's hands went up in front of her, "But after almost a whole year of being on the receiving end of that line, it feels good to hear it go somewhere else."

"In all honesty, how do you stand her?" Casey asked Rafael dead seriously. The latter smirked.

"Some say it's a virtue."

Montserrat gasped indignantly. "I'll remember that," she told Rafael. "Paying for it."

"You're the one who started it. Don't complain because you lost."

Montserrat gasped again.

"I want no part in this," Casey said quickly and moved around the pair, "I'll see you two later. Dinner, possibly."

Despite having a pretty huffy girlfriend beside him, Rafael still managed to see the smirk Casey threw his way. "Dinner? What is she talking about?"

Montserrat's response was to huff a third time. She started walking towards the entrance doors.

"Oh no, you don't get to do that," Rafael said as he followed after her.

"Do what?" Montserrat asked innocently and yet still very annoyed.

"You don't get to take jabs then get mad because I return the favor."

Montserrat reached to open the door but Rafael beat her to it and pulled the door open for her. He smiled at her as she walked out.

"You really are a sore loser," he chuckled to himself on his way out.

"Shut up," muttered Montserrat. "What happened with Nick, anyways?"

"Oh, you know, what we expected. He's thrilled with the idea of testifying against his father." Rafael joined Montserrat at the bottom of the stairs. "I don't blame him for how he reacted."

"Mm, yeah me neither," Montserrat folded her arms over her chest. "What I will blame him for is leaving me behind."

"Oh, so you were planning on leaving with him instead of me? Now I'm the one offended."

Montserrat's body swayed innocently. "I might be persuaded if there's a good dinner planned for tonight."

"How the hell am I the one having to provide a reward here?" Rafael's reaction was more than comical for Montserrat.

She smiled from ear to ear as he went on reviewing what happened inside the building where he was the victim.

"I'm pretty sure you're at fault here," he concluded with a deep scowl on his face. "Therefore, you owe me dinner."

"You're so easy to irritate, it's too much fun," Montserrat said, giving the impression she hadn't heard his entire speech.

"Montserrat—"

Montserrat gave him a short kiss on the lips. "Dinner's on me, dear. Any craving in particular?"

"Mm, a redhead," the words had fallen so quickly from Rafael's mouth that Montserrat almost thought she heard wrong.

"Rafael — what?" she laughed nervously. She felt a deep warmth crawl up the back of her neck to her face.

"Too much?" Rafael wondered. It was hard to tell with her reaction. Sometimes he had to think twice before saying or doing something in fear of pushing Montserrat too much. There were moments where he didn't do either of those things out of instinct and then he had to panic until Montserrat reassured him that she was fine with it.

"No, um…" Montserrat had trouble keeping her laugh at bay; she had to bite on her bottom lip to help. "I'm fine. Complemented, I guess?" Her arms moved over Rafael's shoulders and soon enough he was bringing her close to him. "So, how about some take out at your place and, uh, a redhead?" She gave a small shake of her head to let her curls bounce.

"That sounds perfect to me," Rafael said. His smile matched Montserrat's. He closed the already small gap between them with another kiss.

After that, there wasn't much bickering.

~ 0 ~

Court didn't go easily — everyone knew it would happen — but it all truly started when Nicolas went for a plea that involved no consequences to him. That alone showed his little regard for the crime he was being charged with.

"There's no way that they'll actually give him a plea, is there?" Amanda quietly made the question on their way out the courthouse. From her perspective, even though their side had some good witnesses, none of them truly amplified their point.

"I hope not," Olivia muttered. "I haven't personally spoken to Barba but I know he wouldn't."

"Just in case…" Fin made a nod at something behind the women. They turned to see Montserrat walking down the steps on her own.

"Hey, where's Barba?" asked Amanda.

"Umm…" Montserrat pursed her lips, her hands sliding inside her coat's pockets, "I asked him if he wanted to come with me and he told me —in a very nice way — to get lost." It was still very irritating to remember.

Amanda smiled wryly at the ginger. "Lovely relationship you have there."

Montserrat sighed. "When we get upset, this is pretty much how it always goes." Therefore, she couldn't even get mad at him for it. She'd done the same thing to him plenty of times too.

Bearing his mood when he was in these kinds of states, Montserrat didn't even bother sending texts nor calling. She went straight home after work, basking in the fact she got off slightly earlier, and met Kara cooking in the kitchen.

"I'm trying a recipe Sonny left me!" she told Montserrat. The latter was crinkling her nose with the scent.

"I can tell you one thing already: too much garlic!" Montserrat waved a hand in front of her nose.

"No, it's not!" Kara scowled.

"Yes, it is," Montserrat said as she came up beside her friend. She peered inside the pot and almost recoiled. "Yeah! Definitely too much garlic!"

Now Kara worried. She handed Montserrat the spoon and instructed her to keep mixing. "Let me just check the recipe again."

"Mm, and why are we trying new food again?" Montserrat asked. "New date or something?"

"No," shrugged Kara, "Just in a good mood."

"Well, I'm glad someone is," mumbled Montserrat. She sniffed the steam and shook her head. "Can we add water to this?"

"Nooo, it'll lose the flavor!"

"Of what? Garlic? That's what we want!"

Kara groaned. "Just keep mixing!" She grabbed her phone to reread the recipe. "So, you're home early."

"Yeah, I got lucky tonight. Sonny didn't tell you? I'm surprised he's not here."

"Nah, we need personal space sometimes too."

Montserrat chuckled. "A lot more, if you ask me."

Kara lowered her phone to deadpan her friend. "Just because you and your boyfriend don't do the personal things, doesn't mean the rest of us have to follow."

Montserrat burst into laughter. "Wow!"

"Don't laugh! I was being serious!"

"I can't help it!"

Kara decided she'd read enough of her recipe and put her phone down on the counter. "You're so annoying sometimes. I question how we keep living together."

Montserrat thought the same thing sometimes but she kept it to herself. In an effort to keep the atmosphere light, she put her best efforts to help Kara complete her recipe (although Montserrat still had no idea what it was).

"So you're not going out today?" Kara asked as they set up the plates for dinner.

"No, Rafael's in a mood today," Montserrat smiled tightly. "Best to steer clear until tomorrow."

"It's that case with Nick's dad, huh?" Kara shook her head. "Sonny told me about it. I can't believe the girl's not filing a complaint. I don't understand how women like that can stay in situations like those."

"It's not always easy admitting there's a problem," Montserrat said quietly. She walked back to the table with two glasses. "Believe me, sometimes it's just easier staying quiet."

Kara hummed. She was none the wiser about her friend's double meaning. She was sniffing the air and beginning to think Montserrat had been right about the garlic. "I can't believe that any woman would want to do that for any reason."

Montserrat turned back for the utensils on the counter. "You just don't know, Kara. Unfortunately, to understand, you have to be in the same position and even then you can't really understand someone else's experience."

"I guess…" Kara shrugged, "Oh, by the way, you got something in the mail today."

Montserrat was coming back when Kara motioned to the fat envelope on the coffee table.

"From that family you surrogate for?"

"Oh, Leah and Michael?"

"Yeah, who else? Did you have another pregnancy I don't know about?"

"No," Montserrat said with wide eyes. "Nope."

Kara laughed. "Yeah, I thought so."

The two sat down and had their dinner, although halfway through Montserrat told Kara they should have added more water. It was basically garlic on a plate.

"I need chocolate, stat," Montserrat announced as soon as she took the last bite.

Kara more or less agreed. "Thank God I'm not going on any date tonight. My breath must be horrible!"

Montserrat chuckled and agreed.

After dinner, they went in search of sweets from their special stash in the cabinet. Two chocolate bars did the trick.

Kara soon excused herself for the night, deeming her "me time" was very serious and she planned on a whole movie night by herself in her room. "I don't have a boyfriend until tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. when I wake up," she said on her way into the hallway.

Montserrat laughed. It was something she might employ herself just to see Rafael's reaction. She lingered in the living room to open the envelope Leah and Michael had sent her.

She sat down on the couch and started opening it. Immediately, she saw several pictures sticking up. One white paper was neatly folded behind them.

Montserrat,

We thought you might like to keep these! We know we send you pictures all the time but it's such a hassle to go out and print them so this time we did it for you! We hope you like them! Andy misses you!

Love,

Leah, Michael and Andy Saunders

Montserrat was delighted with all the pictures of baby Andy that were now hers! She was terrible at printing out pictures in general and she had quite a lot of Andrew in her phone. Now she could have these in hard copy.

The simple knock on the door was more than startling. Montserrat almost dropped everything in her hands. She checked the time and saw it wasn't really that late.

"Oooh, Kara's going to be so pissed with you, Sonny," she mumbled as she left her things on the couch to answer the door. "You never interrupt Kara's 'me time', not if you value your life."

However, Sonny did value his life and so it was not him at the door.

"Hi," Rafael had no idea what to say except for that.

"Hello." Montserrat knew exactly what kind of struggle he was in because it was written all over his face. Did it make her a terrible girlfriend (or person in general) if she found it funny?

It probably does, she answered herself.

"You weren't going to sleep, were you?" Rafael asked shortly afterwards. She hadn't changed which gave him a sliver of hope.

"No," she finally said, "And you're not drinking still?"

"Point to you," Rafael shrugged. "I was but…"

Montserrat half smiled. "I'm not mad, Raf. You can relax."

"Seriously?" He would've thought she'd be angry for the way he told her to leave her alone.

Montserrat held her laugh in solely for her fondness for him. "Yeah, breathe." She reached for his hand and pulled him inside the apartment. "For someone so brazen and hard, you sure do get easily worried."

"Don't go saying that out loud," warned Rafael. "It's just when it comes to you."

"I love hearing that," Montserrat smiled giddily. "And since you're saying stuff like that, I can safely assume you're coming off your anger with the world."

"Something like that." Rafael pushed the door shut behind them. "Can I stay for a bit?"

"A bit, all night, I don't care which one," Montserrat shrugged. She gave him a small kiss on the lips. "I'm just glad you're here."

Rafael was too. He was more than used to handling these moods with endless drinks — he still did it — but knowing he had someone he could go to made him want to leave the glasses for a while. Baby steps.

"I talked to Nick," he said, and by the way he squeezed Montserrat's hand indicating the conversation hadn't gone well. "He was at the restaurant."

"Mm, he knows how the case is going, right?" Montserrat led him to the couch, taking her mail to the coffee table instead.

"Yeah, he's not happy about it. I can't blame him — I asked him to do something nobody should ever have to do." Rafael sat down with Montserrat on the couch. "He has to decide whether or not to testify against his own father."

"Oh man," Montserrat shuddered. "No matter my relationship with my mother, I could never picture myself testifying against her for a crime like this."

"My father's been dead 15 years and my hand still curls into a fist whenever I think of him but doing what Nick has to do goes beyond all that…"

Montserrat was startled. In all the time she'd known Rafael, this was the first time he ever mentioned his father. Tread easily. "Nick doesn't seem to like his father very much. It's horrible to say but maybe that'll help him be able to do it."

"It doesn't," Rafael said resignedly, "My father was not at all liked by anyone, especially me, but in the end I was still there. He was on life support after a diabetic coma and I was at the hospital every morning before work, and every night, until the nurses threw me out."

Montserrat scooted closer to his side, beyond surprised with his easy ability to share those painful memories. "I'm so sorry," she gave him a side hug.

"I've processed it at this point," Rafael gave a nonchalant shrug, but Montserrat knew better. If he had shared it now, out of all their moments together, it was because it still affected him.

"It doesn't matter," Montserrat said, resting her head on his shoulder, "I haven't seen Regina in 26 years and I still can't say that I don't think about her. She's my mother, whether she likes it or not, but she is."

"Now you see what I asked Nick to do?"

"I've always seen it, but it's not your fault. Nick knows that." Montserrat raised her head and reached for Rafael's cheek to turn his head. "You want to stay for the night?"

Rafael nodded within the minute. That would do him so well. "Kara won't mind?"

"So long as we don't knock on her door and interrupt her 'me time', we'll be safe," Montserrat said, earning a puzzled smile from him.

"Me time?" he repeated.

"Learn it well because I will be using it in the future when you get just a little bit too annoying."

"Oh!"

Montserrat laughed. "Why don't I get us some nice coffee? Decaf, of course. You don't need anymore alcohol in your system."

Rafael couldn't argue with that.

"At this point, I'm sure that your blood is more alcohol than anything else," Montserrat remarked, getting up before Rafael could do anything to her for that. She was quick to get into the kitchen too.

"Thank you," he told her for the coffee and her overall help. "How'd I ever manage without you?"

Montserrat innocently shrugged as she sat back down with him on the couch. "Probably with an extra bottle."

Rafael saved his breath. There was no doubt in his mind that she had plenty more comments like those. His eyes fell on the coffee table when he drank from his mug. He couldn't ignore the bright redheaded boy in the pictures he could see from.

"Is that Andrew?" He recognized the baby despite not being an infant anymore.

"Mhm," Montserrat said, reaching forwards to gather the pictures in a neat stack. "Leah and Michael sent them to me."

"He's bigger," Rafael's remark earned a good laugh from Montserrat.

"He's one year old now — a little older than that — but I would assume he's bigger than the last time you saw a picture of him!"

Rafael rolled his eyes at her. "Oh, you know what I meant! Why do they send you pictures?"

"Because I like seeing Andy growing up?" Montserrat said it like it should be obvious.

"And the parents are okay with that?"

"We were friends before Andy so yeah, they're okay with it."

"Mm…" Rafael grabbed the picture at the top of the stack and met the smiling toddler. "I swear his hair gets more red every time I see a picture of him."

"Oh, ha, ha," Montserrat waved him off. "That's not how red hair works, you know."

"I'm just saying," Rafael raised his hand but as soon as he did, Montserrat plucked the picture from him. "It's very surprising parents would want to keep their surrogate mother around them."

"Are you saying I'm not pleasant to be around with?" Montserrat raised an eyebrow at him.

"Sometimes you can be a little—"

Montserrat smacked him on the arm.

"I'm going to spill my coffee because of you!" Rafael exclaimed, shooting her a reprimanding glare. "I was only saying what I've seen, alright? I've processed things like that. The surrogate mother tends to be crazy."

"Again," Montserrat shifted so that she would face him entirely, "Are you saying that I'm not someone you want to be around with?"

"You are crazy but I'll give you a 'no' on the second one."

Montserrat rolled her eyes. "I hate you sometimes. You should know that I've known Leah and Michael since my high school days. I was at their wedding."

"So they picked you to be a surrogate for them?"

Montserrat sighed. "Look, Leah leaned on me when she found out she couldn't have kids. It was hard for her getting past it and I helped the way I could."

"So it was your idea to be a surr—"

"No! I just…it's…"

Rafael watched Montserrat carefully. He thought she was struggling too hard to explain what should be quite simple.

"It's complicated," Montserrat said finally, "We discussed it. Everything. I…I helped them."

"Were you at least compensated for all that? Pregnancy isn't easy and it's very long…"

Montserrat half smiled at him. "It's 9 months and I got what I needed at that time. You want some more sugar for that?" She pointed at his coffee.

"Not re…" Rafael trailed off seeing Montserrat already getting up to grab more sugar. "Okay…"

When Montserrat returned, she made it clear (silently) that the conversation about surrogacy was over when she pushed all the pictures and envelope away from them.

~ 0 ~

Watching Nick testifying wasn't nearly as hard as seeing the endgame still not working to their advantage.

"I shouldn't have come," Nick said as soon as they were free from the courtroom. He was a fuming mess before going to testify and now seeing what his father said for his cross examination had Nick almost bursting. "He used me to play the jury."

"You and me both," muttered Rafael beside Nick.

"He flat-out lied on the stand," Nick said, sourly laughing to himself, "I mean, I knew he would."

"I've known guys like this my whole life. I went straight at him, he slipped every punch." It was perhaps even more infuriating for Rafael to know that his tactics were practically sidestepped by the likes of that man. "I don't know what happened up there."

From a distance, Montserrat watched the two pensively. It wasn't until Sonny came up beside her that her focus was interrupted.

"What are you doing?" he asked her curiously. "The others went for a quick break."

"It's funny," Montserrat said quietly, "Or maybe completely terrible. Take your pick. Rafael and Nick are always at each other's neck but at the end of the day, they're so alike in their moods."

"It's why they're always at each other's necks," Sonny said matter-of-factly, "You didn't know that?"

Montserrat smiled wryly at her partner. "I was just saying. I wonder if they realize it too?"

Sonny scoffed. "Not a chance. They're borderline narcissistic."

Montserrat barely held onto her laugh. Sonny wasn't wrong. "You watch your words — one of them is my borderline narcissistic boyfriend."

Sonny smiled lightly. "Poor you."

A short moment later, they got word that the jury was back. Nobody wanted to say it out loud but that never boded well. They all filed back inside the courtroom to listen to the verdict.

"On the charge of assault in the second degree, we find the defendant not guilty."

First blow.

"On the charge of reckless endangerment in the second degree, we find the defendant not guilty."

Second and thorough blow.

Nick would've left running if it wasn't for his dignity and the fact he still had plenty of paperwork to do at the precinct. Olivia offered him the chance to take some days off — everyone was more than willing to do his share of the paperwork. He flatout refused.

One by one, the SVU detectives left their desks in the evening for some much needed rest. Amanda lingered only slightly until she got a definite no from Nick to go out for some drinks. In the end, only Monteserrat remained at her desk and it was only because she kept looking at the lonesome detective on the other side.

She checked her phone and saw one text from Rafael still waiting to be answered. It seemed he learned his lesson from last time because he was asking to meet with her after work.

Finally, she put her pen down and drew in a deep breath. "You know, Nick, it's actually very bad for your health to be that kind of angry."

Nick said nothing but the bitter smile on his face spoke volumes of what he wanted to say back. Bless his heart, he kept on writing.

Montserrat turned her computer off and shut the lid on it. "I'm not some stupid girl who doesn't know what she's talking about," she said a moment later.

Nick raised his head so suddenly, Montserrat swore she heard the crack in his neck. "I never said that."

Got him. Montserrat raised an eyebrow at him. "I am the youngest on this team and sometimes you guys make it just a little bit too obvious."

"Montserrat—"

"It sucks what happened," Montserrat said fast-paced before she lost Nick, "I'm sorry for that — we all are. It was a really lousy case. You don't deserve it and I'm sorry that you know you don't deserve it but can't do anything about it."

As irritated as he felt, Nick couldn't find the right words to go with what Montserrat had said. Maybe his thinking was off too.

Montserrat's eyes scoured the bullpen for any impertinent ear lurking around. When she felt safe enough, she spoke again. "My brother hates my mother — Regina. And I mean he despises her with all his heart."

"Why?" Nick asked against his better judgment. He was content with working himself until morning in utter silence.

Montserrat leaned forward on her desk, planting her elbows on top and bringing her hands together. "Because she ran out on us and my dad ages ago. I was four, so I can't really remember as much as Gael does. He hates her and he's always angry about it. He even gets angry at me."

"You?"

Montserrat nodded. "Didn't you hear me? I still call her 'mother' sometimes. Maybe I am a stupid girl." She thought about it several times and it pained her to think that her mother really did have that kind of hold on her despite being God knows where.

"So you don't hate your mother for abandoning you?" Nick asked, letting out a low scoff.

"Sometimes I do," Montserrat admitted, "I mean — she left us. I'm angry about that, but at the same time I admit that I sincerely wish she hadn't. For the right reasons, of course."

"Yeah, I can't…can't think like that…" Nick shook his head, "My father…I wish he would've left us instead."

Montserrat lowered her head. "I know, I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," Nick said, leaning back in his chair. "But I do understand your brother. I hate my father. I really do."

"Do you, though?" Montserrat challenged stoically. "Factual answers, Nick. I've asked myself the same question about Regina. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. At the end of the day, she's my mother just like this is your father we're talking about. It's like a curse, really. A child will always love their parents, whether they want to or not."

"He doesn't deserve it," spat Nick. Montserrat wholeheartedly agreed. "After everything he did, he doesn't deserve to just wipe the slate clean."

"I'm sorry he's trying to," Montserrat said, biting on her bottom lip, "But you have to consider that if he's doing it and your family's always letting him, you're going to have to figure something out. Being angry at him is going to make for some good arguments with others. He definitely shouldn't have that power over you." She heard her phone buzz on the desk. It was another text from Rafael.

"You should go, Montserrat," Nick said, gesturing to the phone he most definitely heard, "I'm the worst company right now."

Montserrat half smiled at him. "But you're my friend and I had to do something, even if it was a little thing."

"Thank you," Nick said honestly.

Montserrat grabbed her things to go. "Liv's still in the office if you feel like hearing someone else beside your own voice in your head."

Nick looked at her strangely.

"Yeah, I do that too sometimes. Regina," Montserrat shuddered. From the corner of her eyes, she caught a small smile from Nick. She bid him goodnight and headed out. She was on her way out of the building when her phone buzzed again.

"You are so clingy," she declared as soon as she answered the call.

From the other end, Rafael rolled his eyes. This is what he got for wanting to forget such a horrible case by spending the evening with his girlfriend. "And here I am calling to ask what kind of sweets you're in the mood for. What a fool." He was perusing the remaining baked goods in the display window with a waiting barista on the other side. Her name tag was shiny against the metal trays holding the pastries but he still managed to see 'Clara' written on it. "Guess where I am right now?"

"Well, since I am the best detective in the world, I'm going to say it's my favorite dessert shop?" Montserrat asked, barely holding back her excitement.

"Wow, you really are good," Rafael said, his tone laced with sarcasm. "You deserve a badge."

"Ha! So, what are you getting me?"

"No idea, especially if you're still in the precinct. And I thought I was a workaholic."

"Easy there, it was your case I was doing paperwork for!"

Rafael let out a sigh. "Yeah, I know." He pointed at a pile of coffee bread for the barista to grab. He held up two fingers for the amount.

Clara dutifully slid the bread out and slipped them inside a paper bag.

"No, sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up…" Montserrat said quickly.

"It's alright, don't worry. Meet me at my place?"

"Yeah, I'm heading there now. See you there!"

"See you in a bit," Rafael agreed and hung up. He put all his attention on the remaining pastries. "Let me get all the brownies, please."

"All of them?" the barista blinked.

"Yeah, why not?" Rafael smiled. "It's been a crappy day. Days."

Clara smiled back. "I've had those. Although I usually go more towards the, uh…" She made a drinking motion with her hand.

Rafael laughed. "Yeah, me too. My girlfriend doesn't like that very much so I figured I should go her way once in a while."

"Ah, well, if that's the plan, you should definitely take these donuts," Clara motioned him to follow her down the counter. She bent down and pulled a tray of donuts smothered with purple icing, white dust, and blueberries on top. "Consider it a true compromise." The barista placed the tray over the counter. "Blueberry champagne donuts."

"You're kidding me…" Rafael gazed over the tray with wide eyes.

"Nope!" Clara exclaimed with a wide grin on her face. "They're delicious! And if you disagree, feel free to bring them back."

"As long as they're sweet, I seriously doubt there will be any left," Rafael said. He knew Montserrat wouldn't let him return any such thing. "Give me four, please."

"Mhm!" Clara nodded her head. She moved to the shelves on the back in search of bags.

The bell at the entrance rang as the door flung open.

"Hands up!"

It probably shouldn't have been Rafael's first thought and in the way he thought it, but 'Goddammit' slipped from his lips in a very tired manner. He wasn't scared when he, and Clara for that matter, turned around and saw an armed man with a black ski mask coming towards them but instead he was irritated.

Clara was a whole other story. She squeaked and dropped the tongs in her hand. "Please don't hurt us!"

Rafael slowly raised his hands in front of him. "Look, just take the money and go. I'm sure she —" He nodded at the barista, "—won't get in your way."

"Your phone – give me!"

"But–"

"PHONE!"

With a heavy sigh, Rafael did as told and brought his phone out of his pocket. He threw it to the side. "Can I go home now?"

The man snorted. "Plans."

"None of your business. Take what you want and go!"

The man raised his gun and fired up at the ceiling. Clara whimpered and truthfully Rafael knew he had jumped. Gunshots were loud. A natural reaction, he was sure.

"Nah, it's not that simple," the man informed the pair, "I got a job I need to do."

"Robbing?" Rafael raised an eyebrow, unable to stop himself from expressing his disconcertion.

"Something like that." The man pointed the gun at Clara. She squeaked again. "On the floor. NOW!"

The girl practically let herself fall on the floor.

"And you," the man redirected the gun at Rafael, "You should probably consider moving."

"From New York?" Rafael congratulated himself for not scoffing there and then. "I've lived here all my life and my line of work doesn't exactly make this situation novelty."

"I know," the man said much too nonchalantly for Rafael to ignore.

He turned his head slightly. "How?" Could the man be a previous convict he helped process? It wouldn't be so strange.

"I've got a job to do," the man reminded. "You need to watch your step because you're earning yourself an enemy you don't want on your back."

"I make lots of enemies — it's a never ending shift, really." If Montserrat was around, Rafael was sure she would be telling him to shut up. His mouth never seemed to do that.

"You can act all brave right now but don't think your little redhead will always be so lucky."

It was like a switch went off. Rafael's eyebrows furrowed. "What did you say?" He took a step towards the man. The latter seemed to enjoy his reaction.

"If I were you, I would take what you can and leave. You were in Brooklyn before, weren't you? Transfer again. Women — there's tons of them."

Too many things had been thrown into the air so nonchalantly that it took Rafael a couple seconds to put them together and process their meaning. "How the hell do you know—"

"It's a job," the man said sharply, sounding irritated under his mask. "I'm just telling you what I think. Is this trouble really worth it just for some woman?" He snorted. "I don't think so!"

"You should take the mask off," Rafael said curtly.

"Why?"

"Because I want to know who the hell you think you are to tell me all this stuff."

It seemed like the man was smirking under his mask. "Clever. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like you're going to be smart about this, which leaves very little options for you and me. I need to eat so I need to get paid."

Rafael nodded earnestly as if he were truly taking in the man's words when in reality he was beyond furious. Not even the man stepping towards him managed to quell that anger in exchange for appropriate fear. When the gun came up, so did Rafael's hands but towards his right. He snatched a metal serving stand and dropped it on the side of the man's head.

He went in for the gun but the man seized his wrist, albeit wobbly since he wasn't quite right on his feet yet. Rafael used that to his advantage and yanked his captured wrist back, forcing the man forwards and close enough to strike. At the same time, Rafael's fist collided with the man's face.

He stumbled back, out of breath, and unsure of what to do next. Adrenaline and anger mixed were not a good combination. He remembered he wasn't alone then. "C-Clara? Call 911 now."

Clara pulled herself up from the floor, her entire body shaking, but managed to nod her head.

"NOW!" Rafael practically yelled at her when she didn't move. She squeaked and turned but since she didn't move fast enough, Rafael decided to go for his own phone.

Doing so didn't let him see everything. His phone was on the other side and by the time he picked it up, it was too late. He turned around, phone pressed to his ear, and saw the same gun aimed at him.

[robynbaldurlogs]

baldur log day 1 + 2

day 1 i dont have much to show for this day visually bc i wasnt actively documenting... but essentially, i: made my character, went through the beginning tutorials and stuff, took the little brain guy with me, saved shadowheart, and crashed on the beach. then i stopped playing. here is the only image i took before i got off LOL

day 2 ok. so: shadowheart is cool as fuck. i LOVE her already. cannot wait to strengthen the social link with her or whatever the hell you call it. get the friendship numbers up. this fuckass poem had me dead:

shoutout the bitch queen ig whoever you are. keep serving also i love this fucking guy. i can tell hes a conniving fuck but ohhhh hes kinda hot though!

like why is he kinda cunty. but yea anyways he joined my party. also met this guy. gale. he is strangely charming. but he also gives me zephyr breeze vibes (which is bad) and jack sparrow vibes (which is very good). told my friend speves that and that i thought he looked like a smart himbo and she was like "i dont blame you for that read" + "we'll see" which i Dont Know how to take. my judgements were based off the literal first minute of conversation btw

+ really stupid visual glitch i almost didnt notice. theyre fusing

shadowheart talk your shit man.

"just waiting, like a lovesick puppy?" ...... thats a bad thing? whatever you say man. gonna scare shadowheart with commitment. COMMITMENT JUMPSCARE BOO also little parentheses shadowheart is the most fucking dementia raven way ass name and i love it but it was hard to take it seriously for a little bit. warrior cats ass name. also i got crazy fucking lucky with my rolls. dont have many screenshots but i kept getting high numbers it was lucky as shit up until gale talked to me about needing to consume magical items like crack i read his mind with the mindflayer tadpole and found out it was cus he consumed some crazy ass Dark Magic or something, got a critical failure first, then just used some inspiration i had to get it right, and rolled high as shit LMAO

hit the rolls TWICE btw. read his mind once and then went deeper into his mind which had a 15 dc and got that too. hell yeah baby. also afterwards i was totally honest with him about reading his mind and he freaked the fuck out which fair i read your mind. i get it. but still

then i calmed him down by being like "hey man i had to know. youre dangerous" and passed the persuasion check :sunglasses: easiest game of my fucking life oh i talked to shadowheart abt her pains before that which was cool every conversation i have with her makes me like her more.

i met wyll. great guy. i went to camp to long rest and he dropped some INSANE fucking knowledge on me. like. i could live by this

so i switched gale out in my party with him LMAOOOOOOO and had a conversation with astarion about how hed kill me if i started turning. i asked what he would prefer personally and he said decapitation. which was CRAZY. so i was like yeah sure king decapitate me if i turn. do your thing. i trust your judgment

also talked to shadowheart bc i will seize every chance to learn more about her

then i left camp, talked to kagha while looking for a healer, got them to free a tiefling girl through more persuasion rolls (BECAUSE IM GOATED) and talked to the healer nettie who was fixing a Regular Bird

she told me how strange it is that we arent turning, to swear on my life id drink a poison if i saw any symptoms (which i of course agreed to, shadowheart approved and astarion did not) and stopped playing on the way to rescue halsin. fun times!

p.s. days doesnt necessarily mean im playing this daily but rather just what happens when i play per irl day... days just works as a way to categorize tbh

[castiels-babydoll]

Divine Devotion; Chapter Five

--------- ● Castiel x Cassius Winchester ● An Angel and Hunter Love Story ● Themes: Light angst, Comfort, Fluff, etc? ● Something cute happens in this chapter! I don't wanna spoil it by putting it in the themes hshshs. ● This is Part Three to Chapter Five. It will be tagged as such and the other parts will be respectively tagged as well. Please read the story in order.

“So….. Cass can you tell me how you feel?” Sam asked the angel as he crossed his arms, “How I feel about what?” He asked in return, “Like…. How do you feel when you’re around Cassius or when you think about her?” Sam further explained and asked, regretting doing so. “Well I…..” Castiel started then went silent, trying to think about how he exactly felt, trying to think of how to explain it in the first place, Sam sitting there ready to listen, “I feel happy, really happy and I enjoy her company. I don’t like being away from her either” he said, Sam nodding. “Just off of that alone it sounds like you like her. Please don’t hurt her Cas, be good and nice to her if you two get into a relationship.” he said and cleared his throat afterwards, Castiel listening and looking down at the ground, Sam walking out of the room to go see what Dean and Charlie were up to. Castiel stood there for a few minutes before he walked to Cassius' room, knocking on her bedroom door before entering, “What are you reading?” he asked while closing the door behind him and walking over to her. She closed her book after marking her place with her bookmark, “R.L Stine’s Party Games” she replied with a smile as she set it on her nightstand, “Is it good?” he asked while sitting next to her on the bed, “Yes it is, it’s one of my favorites and can you take your shoes off, I don’t want dirt in my bed” she said, Castiel taking them off, “I’m sorry” he then said. “You’re okay Cass,” Cassius said with a smile as she watched him get comfortable once again, the two sitting in silence afterwards. “Sam says I like you” the angel said quietly after a while, Cassius furrowing her brows at him in puzzlement, “That’s what you and Sammy were talking about?” she asked, the man nodding, “And, I think he’s right.” he replied. “Oh-” She said, shocked by his statement and staying quiet afterwards, that was until she straddled his lap, “Well how do you like me?” She asked, wrapping her arms around his neck and shoulders. Castiel slightly tensing as his breath hitched in his throat, “Well, I like spending time with you and being in your presence.” he said, staring at her, the girl listening as she toyed with the coat he was wearing. “Uhm….” he said, clearing his throat, looking down to watch what she was doing before looking back at her face, “I enjoy spending time with you, I think you’re very beautiful” he then added, the girl smiling, blushing lightly. “You think I’m pretty?” she quietly asked as she let her hands fall down in front of her, “I do. You’re a very interesting girl, very smart and educated” Castiel said as he messed with her hair, “Thank you” she barely whispered, face a bright pink. Castiel softly grabbed the sides of her face and leaned forward, kissing her, Cassius freezing for a couple seconds before slowly kissing him back, the two pulling away and softly looking at each other. “You know….. I like you too” she replied, after a while, “I know” he gruffly stated, “How-” she asked, shocked, “You would have not let me kiss you just now. Nor would you have ever let me touch you in the first place. You would not be so attached to me if you were not” he answered, Cassius going quiet. “Oh-” she mumbled, moving off of his lap to lay next to him, “Wanna take a nap?” she asked him, “Yes I know you don’t sleep and I would like to spend more time with you but I am tired and want to sleep” she then said when she seen him go to say something. “I will happily rest with you while you sleep” he replied, laying down next to her and opening his arms for her to lay in his grasp, once comfy she was wrapped up in his arms and contently tried to go to sleep, “Cass….. Will you be my angel?” Cassius asked, “I am already yours my tiny angel” he answered and kissed her forehead, the girl falling asleep.

[frogofalltime]

23.02.2024

today i had no classes at all so i let myself sleep in without an alarm. i had around 10 hours of sleep and when i got up i felt a lot more well rested than i have in a long time.

i brought my notebook, pens, and ipad to the kitchen and got started with studying immediately after eating breakfast. this was a very smart idea because normally executive dysfunction means i procrastinate for hours between tasks, but today i had all the things i needed to do my work straight away.

i watched and took notes on a lecture that i missed last week, it was about jawless vertebrates (lampreys and hagfish) and it was very interesting. i drew lots of weird little creatures.

then i took a break to use the bathroom, pray, and eat lunch. i didn't bother getting changed out of my pyjamas, because i was feeling very sick from The Plague™️, and i wasn't planning on leaving the flat, and i also needed to shower before i could put clean clothes on anyway because i was a Stinky Rat Boy

after that i started working on a coursework project that i should've started months ago but it felt too daunting. it took many hours and i sent a few rants to @etherealspacejelly and @mollusc-consultant but eventually i got it done. there's just one more task i need to do for that project which is a mock interview, i am still putting that off because Autism™️, but the deadline is in just under two weeks so i have time. when i've done that it will hopefully be ready to submit.

i also looked on the university website to find out when all my deadlines are and i put them into my reminders app so i would not forget. this made me feel a lot more organised and on top of things rather than like i was drowning under stress.

then i put away my laundry which had been hanging to dry in my room all week; i didn't realise how much it was stressing me out until it was all put away and i finally had space to move around in my room again. you know what maybe marie kondo is right and an uncluttered home is the most important thing for mental health after all

after prayer time i decided to cook a proper meal for dinner and i called my mother while i did that. she gets worried if i don't talk to her a few times per week. little things did annoy me, like how she said "i always love hearing from my daughter", and when i compared myself to the cat saying i was "so sleepy all the time like meery" (because i keep having to take naps recently) she was like "yes he's a sleepy boy and you're a sleepy girl" :/ but oh well it doesn't matter.

i ate dinner and i was reading percy jackson when my Cool Gay Flatmate walked into the kitchen. she was wearing a really nice outfit which was similar to the kind of clothes i usually wear, and she's dyed her hair green and cut it shorter, and she has a nose ring and other piercings, basically she's exactly the kind of person i want to be friends with, but i Literally Never See Her because she's always staying at her girlfriend's house or visiting family and stuff. i have such a huge platonic crush on her :')

she noticed i was reading percy jackson and got excited about it and we both nerded out about it for a while, which was super fun !! she likes one of my special interests omg !! but she had to go because she was going to be late for something, which was sad because i really want to spend more time with her !! also i was kinda embarrassed because she always bumps into me when i'm like. in my pyjamas and sick and desperately need a shower. but i want her to see me when i'm wearing my daytime clothes and not Dishevelled™️ so she thinks i am cool aaaaa

then i washed my dishes and went to take a shower but it was hard and i procrastinated a lot. afterwards i felt a lot better though. being greasy and stinky is Not fun

i put on clean pyjamas and went back to the kitchen to eat a snack before bed. i have such a huge appetite recently, i can't stop eating, and it's kind of scary, but i am trying really hard to honour my body's needs. i ended up eating twice as much chocolate as i had intended to eat, but i have to remember that it's okay. i'm finally eating what my body wants after more than ten years of neglecting it and i think that's extremely important.

@parasite-2 sent robin a mathematics challenge and robin asked me to help, so i spent two hours puzzling over it which was So Much Fun. i forgot how much i enjoy doing maths questions. its probably also good for my brain, right ? maybe i should do this more often as self care.

then i finally went to bed, i changed my pillow case because i had just washed my hair and that's the Rules. i was feeling very ill again, i couldn't stop coughing and my back hurt a lot, so it took ages for me to get to sleep. i think i finally fell asleep around 2am.