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#and it probably would've been harder to walk away from. he had already failed in the music industry once so to speak
britneyshakespeare · 9 months
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really? trying to keep a good girl down? smh what would brian protheroe say if he were here
#im in my making-text-posts-no-one-will-regard-about-brian-protheroe era#text post#brian protheroe#you can't keep a good girl down is THAT bouncy showtune. as far as im concerned#the amount of songs he has that he wrote for stage works i find to be fascinating#he said in that interview he did this year that he wrote pinball for a character in a play and then someone showed a demo#of it to some record ppl and that's how he got signed to chrysalis.#i just find that fascinating!#i found everything he said about his time at chrysalis so interesting. those three albums. his love of the art#and working with others but his complete indifference to the business side of things.#the indifference he had when he was like yeah they fired me bc i wasn't all that successful and i didn't make what they wanted to sell me a#like it was just the most nonchalant thing in the world to him!#no but i can see why he sticks to acting then. i really can.#bc pinball came out when he was 30. & he wasn't a huge actor by any means but he'd been a working actor for years#i cant help but think if he had had some commercial break in music when he was like 22 or something#it probably would've been worse for him. like just as a person.#or i mean he would've been more persuadable to conform to other ppl's demands.#(I ASSUME JUST BASED ON THE IMPRESSIONABLE NATURE OF YOUNG PPL it's not a personal assumption of brian)#and it probably would've been harder to walk away from. he had already failed in the music industry once so to speak#in the early 60s when he was a folk musician. but he never got very far to start with.#or rather by 'failed' i mean walked away from bc i cant really say he was 'in the industry' if he simply played music#i wont define that era in his life for him.#but he had been roughing it acting and bouncing around london for several years and was like 'oh ok ill make a few albums'#'oh ok. i wont make any more albums....... here at least (lololol)'#'yeah no thats ok i know some theater ppl. ill just go do some shakespeare if you dont mind'#i literally cannot get over the extent to which he has lived *my* best life. queen#this is the ideal level of artistic success i would ever want to achieve too. i wouldnt want anybody googling me ever >:(#except one weird kid who hears about me from one thing once and idly checks out my other work.#in another universe brian protheroe is the weird kid and i'm the mostly-forgotten mid-hit-wonder from the bbc television shakespeare
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anisstories · 3 years
Text
I Don't Want This
Chapter 6
The Next Morning
When Y/N awoke in the morning, she panicked, she didn’t know this room, and then she turned around. There was Anakin asleep, the sun shining on his face. His hair seemed to become even more golden. Y/N still felt tipsy. She looked at the foot of the bed and there were her clothes. It was 5 in the morning and no sound was heard. I doubt anyone’s awake, I’ll change, leave a note, and get a cab to the company. Shit, how strong is a Flameout? I'm falling back into a drunken state. Before that could happen she stood up, put her clothes on, went to Anakin’s desk grabbed a post-it, and started to right:
Hey Anakin,
I didn’t want to wake you up. Thanks for letting me crash here last night. Sorry for being such a bother. I promise I will never drink when you're around.
Next time I see you we'll be "happily married".
Warm Regards,
Y/N
Heiress to the Aridam Empire XD.
Anakin awoke to the sound of shuffling in his room. He turned around and saw Y/N writing something on a sticky note. The events of last night came to his mind. WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE? I should have kicked her out yesterday. She'll pay at this moment. Anakin got out of bed and stalked over to her. Y/N turned around only to be met with Anakin's bare chest. His pectorals glistened in the sunlight. "Hey, sorry I didn't mean to wake you. I was just about to leave. Sorry for-" "Last night I brought you into my home and you know who saw? Padmé. You already ruined my relationship. So you're going to stay here and we're going to be caught sleeping together. I don't care if your dignity is at stake." Anakin said as he pushed Y/N onto the bed. "Strip" Anakin said his voice and face were void of emotion. "w-what do you m-mean strip?" "Strip. Don't make me repeat myself." She felt a weight next to her. "I don't want to touch your disgusting body. So strip and go back to sleep. If you don’t I’m going to have to strip you myself, and you won’t like that." Y/N felt so embarrassed but she started stripping, fearing what Anakin would do if she disobeyed. She hesitated when she reached her panties. "Keep your underwear on." He opened the comforter for her. She stepped in, her back facing his chest, and felt Anakin's arms wrap around her bare waist. She felt so vulnerable in only her bra and panties. She knew that if someone walked in she would face the biggest embarrassment of her life. She started to squirm, to get away. But his grip tightened. "I said go to sleep," he growled. Anakin wasn't human anymore. He had gone feral. The love of his life was probably lost and all because of this stupid girl that laid next to him.
There was no going through to him. He roughly turned Y/N around. "Stop squirming. You said you'd follow my lead, so do it." He pulled her closer. Y/N started hitting his chest, muttering I hate you. Anakin grabbed her wrists. "Stop" his voice an octave lower. Y/N stopped. I hate you too, Y/N. Once we get married, I'll make your life a living hell. Anakin started to rub her back. Trying to get her to sleep. He wanted this to seem natural. He finally heard light snoring from Y/N. He went to grab his phone but feared the messages he would find there. He placed it back and started playing with Y/N's hair to help him fall asleep.
At 7 there was a knock at his door. Y/N jolted but Anakin held her tighter. He pulled the comforter low enough to reveal his bare chest and Y/N's bra. Then he heard Owen's voice "If I don't hear shuffling in 1 second I'm coming in." Of course it had to be this asshole. He grabbed Y/N's chin and started nuzzling into her neck. This caused Y/N to start whimpering. "You’re a piece of shit, you know that?" she said as she tried to push him away. “So I’ve heard” he mumbled. Anakin got tired of getting pushed away, so he flipped them over. He was hovering above her. Y/N’s arms got tired so he just pulled them to her side. This caused the comforter to fall off the bed. Owen walked in to see Anakin on top of Y/N. "Oh Maker. Fuck. Oh shit, I'm so sorry." Owen stuttered. "Can you stop staring at MY girl?" Anakin growled. "I wasn't staring at her. I was staring at you. Are you that insatiable?" Owen started laughing. "What do you - " and Anakin groans. Y/N accidentally brushed her leg against Anakin's groin and he felt a strong surge of pleasure coarse through his body. Shit, I was supposed to be mad. Not get turned on. "USE PROTECTION KIDS '' Owen closed the door and Anakin’s alarm clock hit it. He could hear Owen's laughter down the hall.
Y/N looked at Anakin’s sweatpants. There was a large bulge in them. When I brushed against it, his face contorted, I think it was out of pain. Y/N started brushing her knee against it. Anakin's eyes nearly popped out of his socket. "Mm..stop." Anakin was becoming less mad. Fuck this is bad... "No, this is payback for this morning." Y/N started brushing faster and harder. "Y-Y/N, h-hold o-o-oh Fuck!" Anakin spit. He fell on top of her chest. Y/N would've been mad. But when he fell onto her chest she had better access to that spot. Anakin started thrusting his hips into her knee. Y/N's name falling out of his lips. At this moment Y/N realized he hadn't groaned out of pain, he had groaned out of pleasure. So she pulled her knee away. Anakin's hips thrust into the air. Y/N heard Anakin moan out in pain. "Y-you, you’re a bitch" he growled. “Says the guy who forced me to strip.” She tried to get up only to fail, as Anakin had a death grip on her waist. "Hey let go," Y/N grumbled. Anakin refused. His breathing was labored and his forehead had a layer of sweat. "It hurts. Give me a fucking second!” he yelled. Y/N rolled her eyes, muttered I hope you die of pain and reached for her phone, or that’s what she thought at least. When she opened “her” phone she saw a bunch of messages.
Anakin I can’t believe you did that.
I fucking knew it. You’re a piece of shit.
I hope you get thrown into a ditch.
I can’t believe you got with my best friend.
I hope you both die.
We are done.
Don’t look or try to talk to me.
Y/N dropped the cellphone. It fell on Anakin’s head. “I’m already in pain and you dropped a cellphone on my head. I fucking hate you.” as he looked up he saw Y/N looking at him with guilty eyes. “I thought that was my phone and I read the messages Padme sent you. I’m sorry I fucked up your relationship,” she mumbled. “What do they say?” he asked, his tone cold and detached. Y/N started to read aloud the messages and Anakin felt his heart crack piece by piece. “Oh well, it was bound to happen,” he felt a sharp sting on his cheek. “How can you say that? I mean you have her as LOML on your contacts. You said you were gonna get us out of it and suddenly you're okay with getting married to me?” she said. “You don’t even feel a tiny bit sad. Don’t you want to scream or cry? If that was me I'd be very outraged." Y/N looked out the window. "Can you be logical? You think we were going to convince our parents. That was a false hope Y/N. They were gonna force us to get married. Padme isn't the type to share her boyfriend so its end was inevitable anyway." Anakin grumbled. I can't make her life miserable. She is suffering just as much as I am. I mean Y/N's here saying sorry for ruining my relationship. And it wasn't even her fault. I should be the one on my knees begging for forgiveness. I forced her to strip. Anakin got up and knelt before her. "Huh?! Anakin what are you doing?" She asked as she sat up. "I'm sorry. I was just so mad and so sad that I had lost Padme. I lost all human decency and forced you to strip. I'm sorry. I know that's not enough but I'm afraid that's all I have." Anakin's voice cracked. He was so ashamed of what he'd done.
Y/N felt bad. She knew he had done those things out of rage, but it doesn’t mean they didn’t hurt her. She reached for his arm and pulled him up. “It’s okay, I know you did them out of rage.” Anakin’s face lit up, he was so happy he could hug her, as he was about to, she opened her mouth. “But, can I ask you for a favor?” She asked. Anakin blankly looked at her. She panicked and spoke up “I’m sorry, never mind, I just-” “Hey, I didn’t even answer. What is your request?” Anakin grabbed onto her shoulders. “I was wondering if you could convince my father to let me finish my Master's?” She asked while looking at her lap. “I don't know if I could convince your Father” Y/N’s eyes started to get sad, “But I can convince my father to pay your college tuition and you can go secretly.” Y/N jumped up and into Anakin’s arms. He lost his balance so before he fell he pushed himself onto the bed. His cheek falling against her lips. “Oh damn, I smeared your lipstick.” “It’s fine.” Y/N started to giggle. “Thank you, Anakin,” she smiled so brightly and softly, but she was also crying, his heart fluttering. “Yea, no problem.” Anakin's voice sounded wistful, but Y/N didn’t hear it, she was too busy swimming in his clear blue eyes. “I never noticed,” Y/N whispered. Anakin hummed, asking her to continue. “Your eyes, they look like a lake.” she giggled. “They are pretty. If you looked up at the sun, your eyes would probably glitter like a real lake.” Anakin felt so flustered. No one ever complimented his eyes. Well, they had, but not in the way Y/N had. It was always nice eyes. You probably get all the chick with those eyes. “Thank you, your eyes are pretty too.” “Your E/C eyes lit up. “They get all bright and shimmery when you're excited about something. They get dull when you’re sad or frustrated. When you get embarrassed they glitter more than they’re supposed to.” Anakin started leaning in. The moment was shattered when they heard a commotion downstairs.
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Note:
My summer classes have started so I will begin to post on Mondays. Thank you for understanding.
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freakynct · 4 years
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𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: counselor!xiaojun, public sex, no foreplay, unprotected sex, short smut scene, some fluff
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you had complained in the beginning of the summer because your mom insisted that you applied to be a counselor at summer camp and you were pretty sure she was just trying to buy herself a free of children summer with your dad, since your little brother was already going to the camp. but now that you've been there for four weeks, you realized it wasn't so bad. the kids were friendly and the other counselors even more, especially xiaojun, whom you had your eyes on since you arrived. he had revealed himself to be sweet and caring, a success among the children, but really fun to hang out with too. you remembered one particular night when all of the younger counselors got together at one of the cabins to throw a little get together with a lot of alcohol involved. xiaojun got so wasted that you had to spend the whole night holding him up and watching him throw up into a bush while laughing your ass off every time he tripped over something or said something stupid. you had both grown to be quite close with each other and you would've been lying if you said there was no tension between you, even the other counselors had teased you about it but you always avoided it so things wouldn't get awkward.
the night was warm and the stars shined bright in the dark sky, only being able to ear the sound of the cicadas and your footsteps on the grass as you pulled xiaojun by his hand through the trees.
"c'mon, it'll be fun." you pulled him even harder when you felt him resist but were able to keep dragging his body behind you.
"what if someone sees us? we can be kicked out." he showed his concern for the tenth time that night and you just rolled your eyes, finally stopping in front of the big still lake, the moon painting soft lights over the water.
"stop being a wuss." you came closer to him and even though it was dark you could still see his eyes sparkling back at you. "everyone is sleeping, it's super late and we're far from the cabin. no one is gonna find us, i promise."
his body seemed to relax a bit more at your words and you noticed you were still holding his hand in yours. you let go of it and your fingers started working on the buttons of your shirt, xiaojun's eyes widening and quickly looking around him.
"so are we really doing this?" you chuckled at how nervous he sounded and you let your shirt slide down your arms, leaving you with just your bra on.
"are you getting shy now?" you teasingly said, watching as he tried to look anywhere else but the exposed skin on your body.
"no. i just… ugh whatever, lets just do this." you clapped your hands together, smiling as he finally went along with the idea, pulling his shirt over his head and letting in fall to the ground next to him.
you quickly undid the button of your shorts as he did the same, both of you getting rid of the clothes covering your bodies until you were standing in front of each other in just your underwear.
"wow wow, what are you doing?" xiaojun's eyes widened as your hands made their way behind your back to unclasp your bra and you couldn't help but chuckle at his innocent reaction.
"we're going skinny dipping, xiaojun. you have to get naked." and under the soft light of the moon you could see his cheeks turning a light shade of red, which you thought was endearing. "i'll turn around if you want." you chuckled while turning your back at him, finally taking off your bra and panties, still standing facing the water, the summer breeze hitting your naked body softly.
"isn't the water gonna be too cold?" you heard his voice right behind you and instinctively your body turned around to face him, a gasp leaving between his lips before he covered himself with his hands and you laughed at him, his face adorning a shocked expression.
"you said you were going to turn around." his voice only made you laugh harder, noticing how he tried his best not to look at your exposed body but failing, his eyes flickering in your direction from time to time.
"stop being such a baby, c'mon." you turned around, making your way to the lake and letting your feet drown in the cold water, your skin shivering at the temperature but trying not to show it. you knew that if you mentioned it he wouldn't want to get in. 
you felt his presence next to you, noticing how his hands still shyly covered his member and you couldn't help but to smirk, thinking about what must be hiding under it. his body tensed up when he felt your hand being placed over his, and if it wasn't for how dark it was, you would've been able to see the red tint that adorned his cheeks. you pulled his hand with yours, lacing your fingers with his, looking up at him to give him a warm smile, his other hand still trying to cover his most important part.
"lets get in together." you told him, his head nodding at you and your legs moved forward, getting deeper into the freezing water, xiaojun following carefully next to you and you felt his hand squeezing yours, the hairs on his body sticking up. you took the opportunity of seeing him distracted with where he should place his feet over the rocky bottom of the lake, to let go of his hand and push him forcefully by his back, making him lose balance and fall into the water, a small scream leaving between his lips as he disappeared under the water. you held onto your stomach as you laughed, your cheeks hurting from it, and you saw him appear at the surface again, gasping for air and running his hands through his face and hair, his mouth wide open as he looked at you in shock.
"are you crazy? the water is freezing!" you could only see his upper body above the water, his hands slapping the water to try and keep his balance. you still couldn't stop laughing, which caused you to not notice when xiaojun got closer to you, wrapping his drenched body around yours, making you let out a very similar scream to the one he had given you when you pushed him.
"xiaojun, you're freezing. let go of me!" you squirmed under him, trying to get away from his hold but it was his turn to laugh and have his fun with you.
"oh you don't like when i do the same thing to you?" you felt him starting to drag your body further into the lake and you screamed again, feeling the water rising up your body.
"no, xiaojun, stop! please stop! i'm sorry!" you tried pleading but nothing worked as he lowered himself under the water, dragging you along with him.
you felt your hands grab even harder at his shoulders, the cold water freezing the blood inside your veins and you gasped loudly once he brought you back up.
"fuck you!" you screamed, pushing him away by his chest as he kept laughing uncontrollably. "you could've killed me!" you complained and he rolled his eyes at you.
"who's being dramatic now? this was your idea, remember?" he raised his eyebrow and you walked towards him, jumping and placing your hands over his head, forcing him to go under water once again, as revenge for trying to turn your idea against you.
as you were busy chuckling, you felt xiaojun's hands being placed around your legs and your body shivered, not from the cold, but from feeling his touch, so gentle against you, his body still underwater and his hands raising further up your thighs and you realized you forgot to breathe for a second. he placed his hands on your waist, for balance, suddenly raising up to the surface, water splashing around you and you looked up at him with slightly widened eyes while he ran his hand through his drenched hair, a warm smile on his lips. you gasped as his arms wrapped around your naked body, pulling you closer to him and closing the gap between both of you.
"we need human heat. otherwise we're gonna freeze here." he chuckled and you gave him a small smile back. you didn't know if it was actually the body heat or the fact that his body was so close to yours, but your blood was indeed starting to warm up. you also didn't know where the shy boy that he was five minutes ago went. he seemed way more confident now. maybe it was because you looked so vulnerable to him at this moment, maybe it was because the blood was rushing to his head. "unless you want to get out of the water." as you felt xiaojun starting to move away from you, you were quick to pull him closer to you again, only realizing later how desperate you looked, but he didn't seem to mind.
"no… we can stay here." your voice was shaky from the cold, his arms wrapped around you once again and, almost involuntarily, your legs wrapped around him too which made your cheeks turn into a slight shade of red.
his face was the closest to yours it had ever been and suddenly it was like you had changed roles with each other. you were so used to being the confident one when you were with him, you were always the one intimidating him, not the other way around. but now, being so naked in front of him, even if covered by the water, made you feel somewhat insecure about your actions. your eyes slowly closed as you felt his lips brush against your cheeks, so soft and gentle, barely touching, but it was enough to send a fire through your body. 
you would be lying if you said you never thought about xiaojun this way. but you never thought, in a million years, that you would find yourself being this intimate with him. he moved his face to stare right into your eyes and this time it was his nose rubbing against yours, his gaze moving between your eyes and lips. you could cut the tension between you two with a knife.
"i want to kiss you so bad." his voice was barely audible, as if he was just talking to himself. "can i?" you saw the boy from before coming back again, the nervousness being noticeable in his voice and facial expression and you realized he probably wasn't involved in situations like this that much.
you nodded your head and his lips shyly touched yours, brushing against them softly at first, as if asking for permission again until he finally locked it with a kiss. his lips moved gently and slowly, he wasn't in a rush to finish it just yet, he wanted to savour the moment and so did you. you could feel his hands under the water, touching your skin just as softly as his lips moved against yours. you could tell he was being careful not to touch you inappropriately as if your naked body wasn't already glued to his but you thought that was endearing. you moved your hands to his hair and you felt him deepening the kiss, his tongue brushing slightly over your bottom lip and you gave him permission to enter, parting your lips to feel his tongue dancing with yours, even if awkwardly. your bodies were starting to heat up despite the freezing body of water around you and you opened your eyes slightly when you felt something poking your stomach. you knew exactly what it was but xiaojun seemed too distracted kissing you to even notice. you opened your eyes a little, his lips still glued to yours and you smirking at seeing him so invested in the kiss, like he didn't want to let go, ever.
"xiaojun?" you murmured against his mouth and he only hummed in response, his tongue still trying to caress yours but you moved away, facing his confused and oblivious brown eyes. "your friend is poking me." you told him, looking down at where your bodies meet and as soon as he realized what you were referring to, he quickly moved away from you, so awkwardly that he almost slipped on the little rocks beneath your feet, his hand under water, trying to cover himself even if you couldn't really see anything under the moon's reflection.
"i'm sorry, i… i'm sorry." he tried getting out of the lake as fast as possible, hearing you chuckle behind him, following and trying to catch up.
"xiaojun, it's ok. please don't go." you tried being serious, but seeing him so embarrassed about something so natural was very amusing and you couldn't help but laugh quietly as both of you exited the lake.
"i knew this wasn't a good idea." he mumbled, crouched up, picking up his clothes from the floor.
"what are you talking about?" you held his arm in your hand, pulling him up so he was facing you, his body taller than yours but shivering like a little stick from how cold he was, his hand holding his clothes in front of his crotch and you thought it was cute how, at this point, he was still trying to cover himself up. "didn't you like kissing me?" you asked, his eyes trying to look everywhere but you and you placed your hands on his chest, sliding them down slowly, which definitely caught his attention, his cheeks burning up from shyness. "hm? i really liked kissing you. but if you don't want to…" you moved away from him but he immediately caught your arm, just like how you had done to him in the lake. oh how the tables had turned.
"i liked kissing you too." he whispered, his eyes nervously looking down your body for the first time since you got out of the water. he could feel his cock getting even harder at the sight of your naked body, completely wet and shining under the moonlight. so beautiful, he thought. and without thinking twice, he let go of the clothes in his hand, holding your face and connecting his lips to yours once again, this time a little more passionate, a little more desperate. 
he let go so both of you could breathe, looking at you as if he was expecting for you to say something about his sudden approach. you smiled at him and looked down at his hardened member.
"how did you get so hard under that cold water? were you that turned on from kissing me?" you chuckled, looking in his eyes and you saw his cheeks blushing.
"i'm sorry, it's so embarrassing." he chuckled himself and drifted his gaze away from you but you were fast to caught his face in your hands, moving closer to his body until you could feel his skin against yours.
"i want you too, you know." you almost whispered, your lips almost brushing each other, his eyes locked with yours in surprise. "you might not see it, but i want you." and just as you confessed your last words, his lips were back on yours, kissing eagerly. at that moment you could feel how much you wanted each other, how much you needed each other.
his arms wrapped around your body and pulled you tight against him, his hard member pressing against your stomach, so desperate to feel your touch. xiaojun pulled you to the ground with him and the fresh cut grass felt cold under your bodies. he moved to get over you, your legs parting to let him settle between them, the kissing turning desperate, needy, as if you were hungry for each other and i guess you could say you were. his hands felt every inch of your body, one of them sliding between your bodies to feel the wetness dripping out of you, ripping a whimper out of you.
"are you a virgin?" he broke the kiss to ask, his voice getting more careful.
"no." you simply said, bringing him back down to meet your lips again.
he stroked himself a couple times before lining up with your entrance. there was nothing to say, no time to spare. you were both too desperate to feel each other. neither of you ever wanted to admit how you felt for one another, but you could finally let it all out right here, right now, the moon as your witness.
"fuck…" the curse left his mouth almost unintentionally at feeling how tight and warm you were around him, swallowing his cock so well that xiaojun had to exhale deeply against your neck not to lose it right then and there. he placed both of his hands besides your head, balancing himself out before starting to slowly thrust inside you, his wet hair brushing against your neck every time he moved, your body shivering at the feeling.
"please fuck me harder." you begged, your voice sounding more whiny than what you intended to but xiaojun was quick to comply. his hips moving faster, his cock hitting harder inside you, the sound of skin slapping against each other getting mixed with the music of the cicadas around you. 
his breathing started getting heavy, your moans louder and the thrusts more sloppy. the desperation and eagerness taking over your bodies, both of you getting washed by an intense feel of pleasure that left your bodies shaking. xiaojun held you close to him, his warm breath still heavy against your neck and you looked up at the stars above you while both of you came down from your orgasm. he lifted his body up from yours and you immediately felt like you missed him already.
"shit…" he cursed as he pulled his cock out of you, watching his cum drip slowly out of you. "we didn't use a condom." he said, worry evident in his voice and as you sat up to look at him, you also saw that feeling reflected in his face.
"it's ok, i'm on the pill." you gave him a warm smile and you saw how his body relaxed at your words. "we better go get cleaned up though." you said, getting up and picking up your clothes, throwing his pants towards him.
you both got dressed and started walking back to the dorms, in silence. none of you said a word but you could sense how tense his body was next to yours. you felt his hand slightly brushing against yours until he finally had the courage to intertwine your fingers together, still without speaking, just walking into the night and as you approached the dorms' entrance, he pulled you to face him.
"uhm, i… i would really… i would really want to take you out sometime." he mumbled as he looked down at your fingers, laced together, the nervousness picking through his words. you could feel your heart warming up at how he stumbled over his sweet words. even after something so dirty, he was still the same cute and shy guy you met on the first day at camp.
"i would love to." you replied with a smile, moving closer to kiss his lips gently, seeing the way his eyes sparkled and a small smile appeared on his face as you moved away again. "see you tomorrow." you said before letting go of his hand, which was harder to do than what you expected, leaving the happy boy behind, the butterflies dancing in your stomach and as you walked to your shared room you thought, you might just be falling in love.
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sophi-s · 4 years
Text
Cost of Kindness
Chapter II: Fear me not
By: sophi-s
Fandom: Darksiders video games
Words: 6373
Characters: Raphael, Original Character (OC)
Warnings: Blood and injury, suffocating, violence, Raphael is sad :(
Summary:
Nicola is quick to find trust in herself and quick to lose it. She doesn't realise however, that the man she fears sees something in her others cannot. And this something is what made him save her life again.
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Through the few short weeks, the apocalypse has taught the dying Humanity many different things. Resourcefulness, cunning, true strength of unity… and among other things, the cruel life had taught them, was bravery in its purest form. Bravery that isn't simply an absence of fear but the power to overcome it. Stay cool-headed even in the most extreme scenarios, allowing them to face down even the most horrifying demons and either get away mostly unscathed or sometimes even beat them if they were lucky. Without those traits, survival was nigh impossible these days.
This last very important lesson however, Nicola seemed to have quite spectacularly failed to learn. Even as lucky as she was - considering that she lived thus far - she never was the bravest creature in this God-forsaken world. Smart? Sometimes. Ingenious? Sure. But brave? Not really, no. Especially now, as she was staring up at the angel who she decided to trust not even a minute before and who has just ruthlessly murdered a demon with little to no remorse in a very, very sickening way. Her muscles refused to move as though Raphael had already used the spell of paralysis against her as she watched the corners of his mouth, previously quirked upwards in a small smile, slowly descend. His expression in the matter of seconds morphed into confusion when a quiet sob escaped her. This horrifying, agonized screeching was still ringing in Nicola's ears, the demon kept writhing before her eyes and she couldn't help but wonder.. what did it feel like? To have one's life drained like that. Because judging by the sounds the Goreclaw produced, it must've been truly torturous.
"Human…?"
The soft voice of Raphael snapped her out of this strange haze and the sight of his hand extended towards her once again made her heart jump and begin to race. Her mind was telling her that if Raphael wanted to harm her, he would've done it already. Besides, moments before the demon came, he healed the cut on her forehead demanding nothing in return. Only because he could and - for some reason - wanted. But the chilling claws of panic gripping her throat and the fight-or-flight instincts kicking in, screaming inside her head made the voice of reason merely an inaudible whisper drowning in the sea of primal fear of the possible approaching danger. And right now, her body definitely settled on "flight".
"No! "
She yelped and tried to get away but her heels met the corpse behind her and it caused her to trip over the husk of the once frightening demon. With an expression of shock, Raphael retracted his hand as her rear painfully met the tough and damp floor. There was utter horror gleaming in her emerald green eyes, matched by lack of comprehension in his.
"Why are you frightened?"
And he has the audacity to ask why. Nicola thought bitterly as she started to scramble away. At the first glance, Raphael seemed so kind, he was such a gentle soul. Even his face, despite the collapsed cheeks, has the most trustworthy look to it Nicola had ever seen. This kind is the worst. Makes you trust them, lower your guard.. It seems she'd conveniently forgotten about one fact she noticed moments after she found Raphael. He's completely, absolutely and utterly insane. Unpredictable. At first he couldn't even remember his own name or how he got here. Who can guarantee her that he won't have an abrupt change of heart and lash out at her? She wasn't going to take chances. Leaping up to her feet, Nicola blindly runs off into the dark pathway she initially emerged from, her shotgun left forgotten on the floor just as she heard an almost frantic-sounding call echoing from the haphazard hide-out alongside the sound of rustling feathers and cloth.
" NICOLAAA! "
To her, this shout may have as well been a roar of a Fallen that not so long ago nearly succeeded in ending her life. A golden hue on the walls glistening with wetness trembled and started to move. No one had to say that out loud for her to realise that the angel was actually chasing after her. And to think that merely seconds ago Raphael was struggling with standing up properly… The pain of her overworked legs was gone, forgotten. They carried Nicola like a completely different entity, moving on their own, tireless and strong with only one purpose. Get away. Survive. Escape.
How Nicola managed to get to the point where she started her sightseeing tour of the sewers without any source of light and without tripping over all those bodies she found before was a mystery even to her. Even the slickness of the ladder didn't phase her as she pushed the lid off and quite literally pounced out of the hole in the sidewalk like a puma. She only hoped she'd managed to lose her pursuit in the winding corridors. Placing the lid back where it belonged, Nicola immediately booked it for the nearest alley just to be sure.
Once she was more or less hidden, she leaned against a crumbling wall, breathed out silently and covered her mouth to muffle the uncontrollable sobs. She thought that for once she found something that wasn't about to end her where she stood but it seems that the Universe has taken it as a matter of some twisted honor to slaughter every single member of the human race. This is just unfair. Sure, there was a lot of people who deserved to be smited into oblivion by the God himself for what they'd done but if the apocalypse was supposed to be some kind of punishment, then for fuck's sake why does the entire race has to suffer for it?! How is this even fair ?!
It's not. That's how.
Nicola looked up at the night sky glittering with numerous stars, winking at her like thousands of watching eyes as tears spilled down her cheeks, leaving clean trails in the dust and grime. Eventually, her heartbeat started slowing down, her breath evening out and the adrenaline gradually receding from her system. Now she had a moment to clear her head and think. She had no doubts she can be forgiven for running away. Every person in their right mind would do the same in her situation. Nicola refused to die like this.. But on the other hand… This panic in Raphael's voice, the almost childishly innocent smile as he closed the cut on her skin and the gentleness to his every move as he tried to heal a defenseless kitten… God, this is so… so… Nicola couldn't even find the right word. Despite what the angel did to that Goreclaw, no one said he meant to hurt her too. He may be crazy but that doesn't mean he's a psychotic murderer. This was a demon and angels rightfully hate demons! In his mind there was most likely nothing wrong with that. Besides, she gave Raphael no reason to think of her as a target. All of the sudden, Nicola felt unbelievably foolish for running off like that. Raphael saved her life after all. And she acted nothing if not horribly ungrateful. Should I go back? She'll have to anyway. In a hurry, she left her weapon back down there and Haven was short on those… Dang it…
She sighed. It honestly made her feel like a moron. Damned survival instincts… Sure, they were keeping her alive all the time but sometimes they were just so incredibly annoying. Why would they make her run away from someone who protected her even though he had no reason to do so and nothing to gain from it? From the first angel who seemed to care what fate befalls her? Goodness me, this is so stupid… Nicola shook her head and was about to walk back to the entrance to the sewer when she noticed something in an adjacent alley. Seeing a pair of hungry yellow lights slowly moving closer to her, just above the ground made her heart drop. Her sight has long got used to darkness and so it took her only a fraction of a second to notice curved, black horns above them, long and spindly arms on either side of a slender body ending in a long, scaly lube. A snake-like tail…
With a pounding heart, Raphael quickly moved through the sewer that has long ago turned into his hide-out. Tracking down the strange little human who unexpectedly visited him in his "lair" was harder than it seemed. She was way faster than he would have given her credit for. By all means, in her short legs she shouldn't be that quick. Fear does strange things to people.. But why was she afraid? This short meeting was inarguably the most wonderful thing that happened to him ever since he left the White City. He couldn't quite remember how long ago it was but definitely too long for his taste. All he recalled was the horrible, sharp bite every time he repeated the ritual to finish his greatest creation, followed by a short-lived feeling of elation soon to be replaced by deathly cold within the centre of his being. Each time getting worse and worse until he couldn't stand it anymore. Quickly descending into madness caused by never-ending pain and the chill of his damaged soul, the invisible wound in his chest as cold as a forgotten grave, he knew he can't keep doing this. And so, after having lost his purpose, there was no reason for him to stay anymore. He refused to disappoint his brethren.
You've fulfilled your task. They don't need you anymore.
Raphael halted for a moment, blinking to try and chase away the taunting whisper in the back of his head. It is not true.
"You're wrong. They do. More than ever…"
In the premature Endwar, Heaven's Legions probably wished he was with them. But that doesn't change a thing. He's not going back. Not after he failed to save Ithuriel as an unexplainable surge of panic paralyzed both his hands and his magic. It still sometimes haunts his damaged memories… The young warrior slowly languished from a poisoned wound, grew weaker and weaker with every moment and the archangel couldn't move, couldn't even speak to call for help. Just.. stood there and watched unable to act. Until… A painful twinge through his chest made him wince. No. He can never allow something like this to happen again. He cannot fail them.. He refused to let anyone down like that. Ever.
Frankly speaking, Raphael started to wonder when he'd taken to talking to himself. Solitude clearly wasn't serving him… It's been so long since he had anyone to speak to and even longer since his mind felt this clear. This woman, Nicola, told him she is a human. Considering what has happened to the Third Kingdom, Raphael found it hard to believe. But the spark of life in her soul… it really did feel human. She wasn't a fiend from the Black Depths, nor was she of his own kin. Earth was where she belonged. But there was something in her… something so oddly familiar.. soothing. A flame like those burning in hearts of Heaven's people, just somehow fainter. Only a small fraction of it. Maybe her soul belonged to an angel before it was purged by the Well? Who knows?
But that aside, she was still human. And so, it might as well make her the last survivor of her race and the first creature to show him a lick of sympathy ever since he chose the path of a hermit. The Balance was in danger and this human was imperative for its preservation. For the first time in decades, Raphael felt needed. He had a purpose again. No one was forcing him to do this but the words in a caring tone leaving Nicola's mouth and clear concern for his well being even though she barely knew him for a couple of minutes were something he has been so… so dreadfully missing. As confused as he was by her attitude, he couldn't deny that it was… nice. How long has it been since someone expressed clear worry for him? Too long… The archangel wished this odd mortal near even if for just a short moment because strangely enough, her kindness directed specifically to him somehow eased the never-ending suffering and helped him focus his thoughts that kept running rampant without control whenever he couldn't busy himself with something other than the hole in his chest. And now they were focused on one goal. Find the human.
Raphael waved his bandaged hand through the air before him to invoke a spell and frowned when he detected the familiar presence he was searching for somewhere over his head. She must've left for the city above him. Right where she's out in the open for demons to pick out. Why did she run?
She knows what you are. And she is just a human. Of course she would run like a coward.
No. Raphael brushed this poisonous voice off. Believing in a single word it says will mean his failure. If he does, he will be doomed. Forever lost in the depths of insanity. No matter.. Channeling his magic, Raphael warped and reappeared amidst the sorrowful ruins of the city once inhabited by hundreds of humans. A wave of fresh air hit him in the face and for a moment made his head feel like it was spinning. His eyes opened wide when he took a huge gulp of oxygen. He never realised how sweet it can taste. After such a long time in the damp darkness… The stars peered down at him from the moonless sky, shining like shattered diamonds woven into black velvet. Enchanting and stunningly beautiful. If it wasn't so dangerous out here, Raphael would've surely been more eager to leave the dark pit he was stuck in to marvel at the Earth's still present beauty but such as it was… The moment he let his eyes wander across the vast expanse of the Earthen sky, his feathers bristled at the sound of a shrill cry of fear that tore the silence asunder. A cry of a female voice. Familiar voice. It could only mean one thing. His heart skipped.
Rushing towards the source of the scream, Raphael soon discovered the reason right behind a corner. The same human that indulged him in a much needed interaction, that calmed his restless spirit, was now struggling against the tightening coils of a serpentine body of a demon sorcerer which apparently has picked her as its midnight snack. Already feeling a mist of rage fall over his mind, Raphael shook his head to shrug it off for a little longer. Keeping his head as cool as he could, he performed a gesture with his hands as a string of words in his mother tongue slipped past his lips and his vision zeroed on the Shadowcaster.
Nicola was absolutely sure these were her final moments on this horrible, horrible world when the Shadowcaster jumped at her from a nook and wrapped its tail around her to try and strangle the life out of her like a gigantic, twisted constrictor snake, and watch her perish in suffering. What an awful way to die. Seeing the wicked grin of this malformed face as the last thing before her consciousness leaves her for good. Nicola hoped that if she had to die, then at least she would be sent off by a friendly face… But it seems that God denied her even this last, small comfort.. She fought ferociously against the crushing pressure that was successfully preventing her from catching another breath but to no avail. Her lungs felt as though they had been set on fire and her desperate wriggling only made the demon laugh excitedly as it whispered something she couldn't understand. She didn't have to though. Something told her it was nothing nice.. Dark spots started to gather in the corners of her vision and slowly encase her mind in darkness and she has already come to terms with the fact that this time she isn't getting out of this one alive when… the hold the Shadowcaster had on her loosened.
Taking a wheezing breath, Nicola fell over, still trapped in the coils of the scaly body. What? Once her vision cleared out a little, she saw her attacker lying stiff like a statue with its nasty eyes, previously burning with malice, now opened wide in shock and a web of golden lights crawling across its skin spoke for itself. Before any coherent thought could form in her head she was suddenly yanked free from the demon's grasp by an invisible force. A small cry escaped her when she felt a sharp sting on her thigh where the monster held her with its claws and soon she was gently deposited on the ground. Looking up into a pair of big, white eyes blinking down at her upside down from underneath a green, ragged hood.
"Raph-... phael…?"
She gasped to let her crushed lungs expand properly, though she needed no answer. It was him. He did follow her. And he saved her bacon. Again. Nicola truly wanted to laugh. If there were any doubts still left in her mind that Raphael is a friend before, they disappeared at this very moment. You bloody idiot, you ran from a dude who was trying to protect you and almost got yourself killed in the process. Nicola scolded herself inwardly as she struggled to breathe properly. No running again. Although she was most glad to see Raphael, she immediately noticed something was wrong. He was looking at her but without this soft smile. His eyebrows were knitted together in an expression of worry and… guilt? Why the…? And that's when she noticed that his eyes were flicking between her face and the spot on her leg which was quickly starting to grow warm and wet. Craning her neck to see, Nicola nearly choked once she caught the sight of three deep gashes torn into her flesh. And they were spurting about a lot of blood… Like.. a lot.
"You're bleeding… Hurt…"
His hesitant words only confirmed that it wasn't a hallucination caused by oxygen deprivation. Nicola bit her lip and tried to find that healing shard in her pocket but between being nearly choked to death, her empty stomach, sharp pain and seeing that amount of blood leaving her injured appendage she felt too dizzy to keep her head up and laid back down on the ground with a miserable mewl.
"In the eyes of our blessed Father, your days are numbered, foul beast.."
She heard Raphael hiss through his teeth once he looked up towards the place where the Shadowcaster was surely still face planting under the influence of the spell and his troubled frown turned into a scowl. There was this weird sound once more. Oh my God, he's doing it again… Nicola gulped, already preparing for the round two. Even though she was certain now that she had nothing to fear from him, it still doesn't mean she liked what she saw back then when the Goreclaw jumped her. She was already hearing the screeches of the demon even before they could come to be but this time no such thing happened. Something was different. The light that coalesced around Raphael's hand was not green but golden as the magic vibrated through the air once again. Everything lasted but a second. And instead of a series of pained shrieks, Nicola heard a single, sickening crunch. And then silence. Nothing more. Whatever happened, it was quick and mostly quiet. Probably because they were outside and more demons undoubtedly prowled nearby, and Raphael was definitely smart enough to realise that. Thank goodness… Nicola breathed before she saw the shimmering stars swimming before her eyes quickly starting to disappear along with her hearing. Soon, she slipped her eyelids closed in spite of the pain in her leg and found herself sliding into the dark. Hold on. Just a little longer.. Just… a little…
… longer…
If anything could be said about Shadowcasters, was that their skeletons, as flexible as they are, characterize with astonishing brittleness. One flick of Raphael's wrist was more than enough to snap its neck and give it a far quicker and more merciful death than it deserved. He couldn't allow himself for another drain as it would bring half of the Horde bearing down on both him and the wounded human at his feet. Besides, he didn't feel in need of its energy. The human…
Looking down at her, Raphael felt his heart cease for a second. She was lying there on her back, pale and motionless, her intricate green eyes shut. Alive, the blaze in her soul flickering, but clearly unconscious. Blood was still oozing from the wound he himself had made because of the spontaneous decision to wrench her free from the fiend's hold. He wasn't careful enough and failed to notice that the demon dug its talons into her skin. The archangel had seen a fair share of pain. He used to be the head healer back in the White City after all. The number of warriors he'd pulled out of the cold clutches of death was impossible to count. But somehow this was different. The poor woman was defenseless, weak and delicate. She couldn't even fight the demon that tackled her.
Azrael was right. Humans are very, very fragile.. Compared to other races, they were frighteningly easy to crush. Anything could kill them. From eating something wrong, through illnesses, to even falling into the water. Truth be told, Nicola was the first human Raphael had met in person and he didn't want her to be his last. Just stay calm. Don't panic… Not now… Kneeling down next to her, so small in comparison to him, Raphael gingerly peeled the torn trouser leg off the wound and placed his quivering hand over it, concealing the whole thing with his palm. His magic began to flow into the human once again to seal the torn flesh but there was very little time he had.
He barely managed to lessen the bleeding when a sound of a distant roar and a crash of a car being tossed aside, reached his ears. His head snapped up as his eyes darted around, searching for the owner of this cry. He would recognise it even in his sleep, even if the last scraps of his sanity left him. A Trauma was somewhere nearby. No doubt heading in this direction, attracted by the commotion and possibly the smell of blood as well. And a Trauma he couldn't afford to fight right now. Those things are hearty enough to break through his magic and get to him before he is able to put them down. Scooping up Nicola into his arms, Raphael wrapped his dusted wings around both her and himself and with a single arcane word they both vanished, leaving only a trace of quickly dissipating golden glow in their wake.
-
How long had she been out, Nicola couldn't tell. All she knew that she felt as though someone ran into her with a car. Her breaths were shallow and her heart was beating way too fast for comfort. Groaning quietly, she laid her arm over her face before opening her eyes. To see a dark, damp ceiling gently illuminated by a warm light. Where the Hell-...? The last second before the blackout came back to her like a punch to the gut. The Shadowcaster. Raphael.. With a startled gasp, she shot up, looking about, promptly regretting her decision when the world started to spin again. And to her utter astonishment, she was once again in the small section of the sewers where she met Raphael, settled on some ratty blankets and covered with another one that fell from her chest the moment she stirred.
"Keep still.."
She heard and nearly jumped when she felt a hand fall onto her shoulder and gently coax her into lying down again. And honestly, with how nauseous and weak she felt, Nicola wasn't about to resist and let herself be lowered to the ground. Unsurprisingly now, she saw the familiar scrawny angel sitting cross-legged next to her and staring intensely at her with those big, disturbingly hollow eyes. He brought her back into his hidey-hole? It looks like it.. Why exactly however, Nicola couldn't tell. And there wasn't much she could read from those eyes. A couple of seconds passed. A minute. Two. Five. And he still kept staring. The awkward silence continued until Nicola decided to break it by clearing her throat.
"Uh… what's up, buddy?"
If she wasn't feeling like shit, Nicola would've burst out laughing when she saw Raphael look up at the ceiling confused but she really didn't have strength to explain that this was just an expression. Chucking to herself quietly, she rubbed her eyes with pads of her fingers to clear her blurry sight a little when again her stomach loudly demanded nutrition. And the poor angel who was still looking at the ceiling quite literally jumped away and glared at her abdomen distrustfully when it "growled at him". Seems like angels know as little about humans as humans about them…
"What… was that.?"
Carefully pulling herself up to a sitting position, miserably failing to stop a fit of giggles - even though it pulled her sore muscles over her ribs - Nicola waved her hand dismissively. Any fear she once felt in the presence of Raphael was gone now. Not only did he rescue her twice but the way he was getting confused or spooked by literally anything Nicola did - purposefully or not - was just somewhat endearing.
"I'm just hungry.. I haven't eaten for a whole day.."
"Oh… hungry… hmmmm… Yes.."
Raphael murmured, seemingly a little embarrassed by the whole situation and twisted his body around to reach for something. Furrowing her eyebrows, Nicola tried to shift to see what exactly he was doing back there but she didn't see a lot. At least not until he turned to face her again and very slowly - like he was afraid he would frighten her again - extended his hand to her. And in his palm sat a paper bag where undoubtedly Nicola's sandwich was. Hesitantly, she reached for the packet that rustled encouragingly and a faint, pleasant smell of cheese, ham and pickled cucumbers emerged from within. A nice change from the stench around. It wasn't much but made her mouth water nonetheless.
"Thanks.. though I'd be glad if you didn't go through my things. Okay?"
"Okay…"
He replied with a nod and sat down again, watching Nicola devour - not eat - devour half of her sandwich in a few bites. Goodness, she was so hungry she could eat a horse.. However, halfway through something beside Raphael's thigh caught her attention. There, next to his knee sat a small cat. The same back and white kitten the angel was taking care of before. Looking at her with those blasted big, green eyes with pupils expanded almost to the point where its irises weren't visible and hungrily licking the sides of its mouth. At first she tried to ignore it. But the cursed look cats, especially the little ones, can give! The longer it stared at her, the more sure she was that she doesn't have the appetite anymore.. Goddamnit. Pulling a slice of ham out of her sandwich - the only part that would be of interest to it - Nicola clicked her tongue and offered the food to the kitten.
"Here, little buddy.. Come here."
I'm too soft for my own good. One day, some cat will be the death of her… Carefully and slowly, the kitten approached her, sniffing the piece of meat before snatching it out of her hand and retreating into the safe place behind Raphael to consume the gift. Cats can smell good people from a mile. Looks like she was wrong to ever doubt Raphael had anything but good intentions. Smiling slightly, the angel reached out to the cat and brushed his knuckles against the black fur around a new scar on its back. The loud and comforting purr interrupted only by an occasional swallow rung out and made even Nicola smile as she finished her own food. Even with how meager her snack was, hopefully it was going to last her at least until she finds her way back to Haven. One day of poor eating wasn't going to kill her after all.
When she was done, she peeled back the blanket to examine her injured leg. Nicola pulled a face at the three - even if mostly closed - claw marks on her thigh and the bloodied trouser leg. It didn't look that bad anymore but she could imagine that it would definitely slow her down. The slightest move was causing her mild discomfort. Running and walking anywhere is definitely off the table for now. Still, Nicola much preferred the dull ache that was now in place of excruciating throbbing.
There was no doubt in her mind that this is all once again thanks to the kind, even if a bit unhinged, angel who was now sitting beside her with a quietly purring kitten nested on his lap as he kept stroking its head and back and murmuring something to himself in a strange, melodic language Nicola couldn't understand but found beautiful and enchanting nonetheless. She watched Raphael for a few moments, listening to his deep, soothing voice that made her feel a bit sleepy. After the apocalypse Nicola rarely slept well because of nightmares. And it showed. But before she inevitably dozed off, she felt she had to say something.
"So uh…"
She started, successfully getting his attention, judging by how his eyes shifted to look at her.
"Um… Thanks. For… for everything I guess.."
For a whole minute Raphael didn't answer, simply watched her with his head tilted to the right, a silent question in his eyes. Nicola scratched the back of her neck awkwardly and decided to clarify.
"You know.. for saving my butt two times now, treating me.. And sorry I ran away. I was scared, you got pretty spooky with that Goreclaw back then…"
"Oh…"
He replied with raised eyebrows.
"Forgive me then… I did not mean to frighten you…"
"Oh, no no no, you don't have to be sorry, it's okay! I'm not scared anymore.."
Nicola assured him quickly. Making him feel bad for it wasn't her intention at all.
"Seriously though. Thank you.."
She repeated with a grimace when she tried to shift to a more comfortable position but the ache in her leg made it significantly more difficult. With an empathetic look to his face, Raphael steadied her by returning his hand to her shoulder and moving the other - already radiant with his Heavenly magic - to her wound. The prickly sensation came back, bringing relief in pain as he sighed tiredly.
"This is.. my duty…"
As surprising as it was, Nicola couldn't deny that Raphael seemed to have changed in some way since she found him absolutely deranged. Now he seemed a little more… collected. Focused. Calmer. But simultaneously even sadder and very jumpy. Still, he remained as mysterious as he did before. But maybe if he retains this composure, Nicola could pry something from him about his background. Why is he here alone? What happened to him? How did he get here? There were way too many questions to ask at once but she had to start with something.
"Your duty? You're some sort of a… uh, what shoudma' call it? Doctor, medic, something like that?"
Despite the question being seemingly innocent and harmless, Raphael reacted by turning his eyes down to look at his hands as he flexed his fingers a couple times with a barely noticeable wince twisting his lips. His answer was so quiet that Nicola barely caught it.
"... was… I left.."
"Huh? Wh- why?"
At that, Raphael looked up at her, again with this tortured gleam in his eyes that made her heart squeeze painfully and shyly pointed at Nicola's side.
"It hurts.."
He chimed as she stared at her own hip in confusion. Again, the angel was making no sense. Her side didn't hurt for one, and two, it can't have been the reason why he left… whatever he left to abandon his previous life. A little startled that maybe he knew something she didn't, Nicola probed the place he pointed out but all she could feel was the healing shard in her… in her pocket… All of the sudden she recalled what Raphael told her before.
Hesitantly, she dug the glowing crystal out of her vest and lifted it for Raphael to see better and asked a wordless question which he answered almost immediately.
"The shards… they hurt me.."
This was probably the lowest Nicola's eyebrows have ever descended, making the look of confusion on her face even more blatant. I thought they were supposed to be healing shards? Why would something made to heal one person hurt another?
"How?"
With an expression of anguish, Raphael placed his hand over his chest and took a small gasp of air as if to make his point.
"I created them.. and some of them hurt…"
The revelation made Nicola's jaw fall slack. She'd been suspecting this before when Raphael referred to the crystal as "his" shard but hearing the confirmation almost had her gag. How many times a healing shard has saved either her or someone else from the Tree, she couldn't count on both of her hands. After Ulthane snatched her from the Fallen's talons it took the large one to heal her and make sure she survives afterwards and still it shattered after it served its purpose. At this very moment, no one could ever convince her that the sad, mad angel before her is evil in any way. With a huff of disbelief she shook her head, shifting her gaze between Raphael and the shard.
"Wait, hold up, you made those?! Oh.. my God, I could kiss you, my dude."
A very undignified snort almost escaped Nicola when she saw the face Raphael made. Something between astonishment, horror and curiosity. She remained oblivious to how improper it sounded in his ears. He cocked his head again. Goddamnit. Every time he does that, Nicola just… can't. It constantly reminds her of a puppy looking at some bizarre wonder of nature.
"But.. why would you want to do this..?"
"It's an expression. In other words, I wanted to say I can't thank you enough. How did someone like you ever end up in… like- like this?"
Nicola said "like this" in the last moment before she could say "in such a shitty situation" because she realised just in time how inappropriately awful this sounds, considering they're in the damned sewers. I'll have to learn to stop accidentally making jokes.. For some reason Jones absolutely adored her for it, unlike most of her friends who kept either groaning or facepalming every time and begging her to stop before they kicked a bucket from the sheer badness of her jests. The kitten in Raphael's lap meowed in annoyance when it lost the touch of the angel, coaxing him to keep smoothing out its fur still stained with dried blood. He did, and Nicola didn't miss that he was deliberately avoiding her gaze.
"Long story.. very long.."
"That's alright, we have time!"
The words left her mouth before she could stop them. Her curiosity was just too strong. Besides, Nicola wasn't going anywhere anytime soon with how her leg was fairing (just thinking about how worried Ulthane and the rest have to be made her a little sick) and she honestly doubted Raphael is going anywhere either. But the way it came out made her sound like she was prying to get to something the angel clearly wished to keep to himself. Whether because it was something to be ashamed of or something very unpleasant to speak of. In honesty, Nicola was sure he would scowl at her for this but he simply looked away with a grim look on his face. And it was even worse because it made her feel awful.
"Oh… sorry, if you don't wanna talk about it then it's alright! You don't have to tell me."
"Another time.. rest now."
He hummed and extended one finger towards Nicola's forehead. Before she had time to ask him what he was doing, he lightly poked her right between her eyebrows and all of the sudden she felt unbelievably drowsy. She blinked a couple of times but everything was starting to double before her eyes which were closing all by themselves. With a wide yawn Nicola soon fell into the embrace of magical slumber Raphael called upon her.
He caught her before she could fall down and lowered her onto the blankets to let her sleep in peace. The poor human needed her rest to make up for the amount of blood she lost merely an hour before. Sitting back, Raphael settled for keeping a silent vigil over her until magic wore off. What am I going to do with you? He wondered. For some reason he felt so inexplicably drawn to her and couldn't help it. Something about her was just easing in the pain and warming up the empty void in his tormented soul, even if only a little. The small animal he rescued before rubbed its fuzzy head against his hand and started to knead the fabric of his trousers with its laughably tiny claws that compared to demons' talons were nothing. Still, it stung a tiny little bit. Despite this, Raphael let it curl up in his lap again and fall asleep as well while he watched the human woman and the strange spark dancing within her like a candlelight.
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Chapter II is done! Getting angsty. And say hi to Raphael's kitty. Isn't it cute? :3
Also, here's part 1 if you haven't seen it yet.
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skiyooomis · 4 years
Text
After Class
A/N: ahhhh !! this is my first time writing! hopefully you all like it! !!
Character: Suna Rinataro (Haikyuu)
Warnings: fluff, and maybe some bad writing.
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you and suna have been dating for a few months now
the days when that he doesn't have practice, he waits for you outside your classroom.
he stood outside your class seeing all the students rush out to go about their days, but he doesn't see you come out.
he assumes that you're talking with your teacher, so decides to wait a few more minutes.
after five more minutes, he gets confused. he doesn't hear any voices talking inside the classroom. were you even in there? maybe you thought he had practice today so you already went home.
he finally decides to walk inside the room, and the sight he saw made his cheeks burn and his eyes soften.
there you were, sleeping soundly on your desk, with your head buried inside your arms. no one had even bothered to wake you up. i mean how could they actually, you looked so cute like that.
"what an idiot." he mumbled to himself. he walked towards your desk where your soft snoring could be heard more clearly. he clicked his tongue at you, knowing that you probably pulled an all nighter last night. he's told you to stop doing that, but you never listen to him.
he turns the chair from the desk in front of you and sits on it, silently staring at you in awe. he's always thought you were so pretty since first year. the way you smiled at others, your precious laugh, and most importantly, the way you always put the miya twins in their place when they acted up. that's something he could rarely do.
the sun beaming from the windows and the cherry blossom trees from outside makes the scene look like it belongs on a shojo manga. to any other person, it sort of looks creepy, but he didn't care. he was so in love you. he wondered if you're in love with him too.
he sighed, realizing that he should wake you up before you both miss the train. he tapped on your desk, hoping to wake you up without making too much noise. you stirred around with a groan coming your mouth. he waited a few seconds to see if you would get up, but instead you just fell back asleep.
"jesus, how tired were you?" suna said in a soft voice. he started petting your head, feeling bad that you stay up each night studying to pass every single test you had.
"you really have to stop staying up, you know? it's not good for you. maybe one day you'll fall asleep during a test, then all that studying would be for nothing." he said to you in a soft voice, even though he knew you couldn't hear him.
he looked up at the clock to see what time it was. the train leaves in 30 minutes and it's a 20 minute walk. if you don't wake up soon, you'll both miss the train.
he sighs, deciding to tap on your desk again, but this time harder than before. he waited a few seconds to see if he would have to have to do it again. he felt your head slowly rise up under his palm.
you looked up, squinting because of the sunlight that was shining through the windows. you were so confused on what was going on. your whole body felt heavy and you could barely open your eyes. as the realization hit you, your eyes darted around the room in a panic. "holy shit, how long was i asleep for?", you thought to yourself.
you kept looking around until your eyes landed on suna, who had a tiny smile on his face. your cheeks burned up at the sight of him. how long has he been here?
you buried your face in your hands in embarrassment. how come no one woke you up after class ended? "suna, how long have you been here?" you voice sounded muffled because of your hands. "probably about 20 minutes, i noticed that you never came out your class."
you opened your mouth to speak but got cut off by suna. "y/n, please stop staying up so late. it's not good for you mentally or physically. i don't want to see you fail a test because you slept through it." you could tell his voice was laced with concern with his soft gaze staring at still sleepy face. you slowly removed your hands from your face to look at his. you felt butterflies swarming in your stomach at his words. no one has ever treated you with so much care like he does. your brain doesn't know how to react to it, but you do know that you never want this feeling to go away.
"i- i'm sorry rin, i'm just so scared about this test. i'll try not to stay up anymore." you sighed. you put your hand on his cheek to pull him into a kiss. you both didn't kiss much, but when you did they were tiny pecks with little spark in it. but this kiss was different, it was soft, it was romantic, it screamed love.
you pull away, feeling like you both are the only people in the world right now. your cheeks were burning and the butterflies in your stomach are getting more intense. "you don't have to apologize, i know you just want to pass. if you want, we can both study together." suna stood up grabbing your hand. you leaned down to grab your bag that was under your desk, standing up hand in hand with suna to head home for the day.
you both walked out in class into the empty hallways. it was quiet, but it was a comfortable silence between you two. who knew that you'd be dating the athlete that you've had a crush on since middle school. 14 year old you would've definitely called you a liar.
"hey rin?" your eyes staring at floor as walk closer to the entrance doors. suna felt his heart beat faster at the nickname. "what's up, y/n?" he turned his gaze towards you, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.
"i love you." you whispered in the softest voice. you weren't even sure if he had even heard you, and you really didn't want to repeat it.
it's felt like hours have passed when you said those words to him. is he gonna call you weird? is he gonna laugh it off. maybe you should've waited-
"y/n, i love you too." he leans down to press a kiss to your cheek as he opens the door. you look up, feeling your cheeks heat up even more. yeah, you definitely don't want this feeling to go away.
"now let's get to the train yeah? i'm craving your mom's curry." you playfully hit his arm with giggles that simmers down into a small smile.
"yeah yeah, let's go you giant." you teased. you both walk in the direction of the station, cherry blossom leaves covering the ground you walked on. you continue teasing suna as those words still linger in your head.
he loves you too.
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babineni · 5 years
Text
The Path Not Traveled (part 2 of 2)
Sooo... ages ago I started writing my own take on Edér’s personal quest in Deadfire and I finally managed to kick my own butt to finish it. Here’s roughly 3800 words of... whatever this is.
Part 1 here:
Gaura took a deep breath as she left the Temple of Gaun, trying to clear the oppressive smell of mold and incense filling the sanctum. Just as she was about to take another, her nostrils were struck by a sweet and earthy scent she knew well.  Edér exhaled a puff of smoke when he felt her gaze on him and winked at her, trying convey some semblence of confidence. But Gaura still saw that he bit on the stem of his pipe slightly harder than he usually did.
'So... To the Gullet, then?' The Watcher let out a tired sigh. 'Wonderful.'
'At least this time we won't have to scour the place for decades old clues,' Edér tried to cheer themselves up. 'Though, at this point... wouldn't even be surprised, if we did.'
'This does feel a bit familiar,' Gaura added. If she had to be honest with herself, this was an understatement. The longer the search went on the stronger she felt it: that Edér once again gambled his peace and happiness on something that he would ultimately fail to reach. 'I just hope... Can you promise me something, Edér?'
'What?'
'If this reunion doesn't go the way you'd like... Can you promise me that you'd still come away with some measure of peace?' The Watcher gave the farmer an apoligetic look for her request.
He let smoke escape his mouth slowly, frowning, carefully processing his friend's words.
'Dunno. I'd just prefer if we left with what we came here for.'
'And what would that be?' Gaura crossed her arms.
'I told you...'
'I know what you told me. But you've gotta be more specific than that.'
Edér glared at the Watcher for a moment. Then he emptied his half-smoked pipe, cursing under his breath, and put it away.
'Y'know how I been rebuilding Dyrford for these few years? Was trying to make it a normal village. I wanted it to be the kinda place that really felt like the home we had before the war. In a way, I was... turning it into something like Gilded Vale used to be,' he rubbed a sore spot on the back of his neck. 'But it didn't feel the same.'
'I can think of a few reasons why you might've felt that way.'
'Yeah,' Edér chuckled somewhat bitterly, 'I do make it sound like I was turning Dyrford into something it wasn't but... that's not what really happened. And that's not what kept gnawing at me,' he averted his gaze from the Watcher almost as if he was ashamed. She waited for him to continue but the words did not come.
'It was you,' she guessed. 'You realized that... even if you managed to bring your old life back somehow,' Gaura cossed her arms and sighed sympathetically, 'you no longer would've had a place in it.'
'Dunno 'bout that,' he replied, 'haven't really felt I had a place anywhere for 15 years or so. I got used to it.' The veteran stayed quiet for a few moments. Gaura couldn't tell if he was pondering her words to find some new revelation about himself or if he was wondering if she spoke out of experience. 'But... I dunno maybe you're right.'
'And how does Elafa come into the picture?'
'She's...' Edér stopped himself to choose the words that followed cautiosly. 'She's pretty much the only person from Gilded Vale who knew me before the war and didn't see me anything other than who I was when I came back. If... If I'm gonna have a family one day... If I'm to give them a life free from the hate and violence that drove her away in the first place... Then I need her,' he let his head hang for a moment before he looked Gaura in the eye, his eyes full of clarity and sincerity. 'Because I can barely remember what that life was like.'
The Watcher's heart sunk and yet those words still left her with discomfort. 'So you want to move forward by going backwards and you just hope Elafa would remember your past for you?!'
'It's hardly fair, I know...'
'And it's really unhealthy.'
'I know, but I can't help it,' he stepped closer to her as he pleaded, 'and I'll try my hardest to make her happy in turn, I swe-'
Gaura raised a hand to silence him. 'It's not me you need to convince. I promised I would help.'
Edér let out a sigh of relief.
'But you gotta fill me in on what exactly went down between the two of you.'
'Yeah... Sure,' the farmer nodded somewhat awkwardly. Gaura gestured towards the stairway running beside the Temple of Gaun and leading to the bridge to the Gullet.
When the Defiant arrived at Neketaka, Edér asked the Watcher to go with him alone. Elafa was a suspicious sort, he said, and as strange as it felt to travel without her companions, Gaura was now grateful to be left alone to process Edér's recollections. He told her of all the times he asked Elafa to be more than just friends sharing a bed on occasion, and of all the times she said no. He told her of the day his parents left the Dyrwood and how he found himself back with his old Eothasian flock - or better to say what was left of it. He told her of the days leading up to the Purges in Gilded Vale. He told her of the Reaping, his reunion with Elafa, her Hollowborn son. He told her of the offer he made once again, and how Elafa said no. He told her of Elafa's escape. He told her of the offer he made for the last time and how, for the last time, she said no.
'I'm really sorry, Edér, for both of you,' Gaura knew how great an effort it was for her friend to open up to her like this, and she knew such a flimsy show of sympathy was probably an inadequate response.
Edér didn't seem to think the same. 'Don't be,' he said with a rueful smile. 'Should've told you about this a long time ago, I reckon. I just... Never been good at this sorta thing.'
'It's fine, I get it,' the Watcher swallowed thinking of all things she kept from Edér. All the fears she couldn't afford to show, the wear and tear she had to hide, the uncertainty that once defined her every waking moment but for the first time she wasn't sure how to adapt to it. She didn't know how long she stayed quiet as they walked beside one another, crossing the bridge that seemed endless.
'Promise me something, Edér,' Gaura broke the silence eventually. 'Promise me... that you stop looking to others to grant you peace. There are... things to which the world doesn't have an answer, but you still might find it within you. Promise me you'll start looking for those answers within.'
The Watcher looked to her friend, whose poorly concealed and uncharacteristic anxiety was now replaced with open worry.
'You don't think you can convince her, do you?'
'Even if I can, do you think things with her will turn out the way you want them to? That you can go back to the days before the war?'
Edér didn't respond. He looked at the bridge ahead and Gaura glimpsed a look on his face that she only ever saw once: five years before on the fields of ClÎaban Rilag, when she failed to give him the answers he desperately needed.
'I'm really sorry,' she apologized once more. She wasn't sure if she did it for the past or the present.
'Yeah, so am I,' he took out his pipe but this time his movements reflected resignation rather than just nerves. 'I know you mean well, and twenty years ago I would've been real grateful for the advice... Hel, I'm kinda grateful for it now... It's just that...'
'I know. It hurts like Hel. But with Eothas out there, doing who knows what... It's probably not the best idea to make anyone an anchor,' the Watcher scratched her chest right above her chimes.
Edér chuckled. 'Yeah, I definitely needed to hear that twenty years ago.'
'Ugh, twenty years ago... I didn't even have my horns yet,' the Watcher remembered. 'I was just a squishy ball of flame.'
'You still are.'
Gaura elbowed him in the side, prompting him to laugh. She couldn't help but laugh with him. None of them said anything for a moment but they both knew they needed that laugh. Then the moment passed.
'Can't promise anything,' Edér said. 'I was told I shouldn't make anchors.'
'Wow. I guess, I should be glad you listened.'
The sun was already setting by the time they reached the Gullet. Gaura wasn't surprised to see all the Dawnstars walking around aimlessly. The Rauataians either stayed at Hasongo or left for the Brass Citadel. The Children of the Dawnstars, however, only had the Temple of Gaun to themselves, and when that filled up, there was only one option left.
'Let's start with The Hole,' the Watcher suggested, 'if she isn't there, we'll check the Sanctuary. If she isn't there, we'll start asking around.'
Edér, however, wasn't listening. His gaze was fixed on a lanky boy with brown hair and freckles so prominent that Gaura could see them even from a distance. The farmer swallowed hard, then approached him. The Watcher had to skip to keep up with his long and determined strides.
'Hey, kid,' he called out. When the boy met Edér's gaze, he stopped in his tracks and whatever confidence he had disappeared in a second.
'Fine day to you,' the boy spoke cautiously. He took a double take at the flames framing Gaura's head then forced his gaze back to Edér. ' Is... there something I can help you with?'
'I'm looking for someone. Uh... She's my age, about this tall, always wears her hair in braids, she's got freckles just like yours...' Edér's words replaced the look of caution with a look suspicion on the boy's face, but he didn't seem to notice. 'Her name is Elafa. Elafa Maesy.'
'What do you want with her?'
'Nothing bad, I'm an old friend of hers,' Edér slightly lifted his empty palms.
'I know all of mother's friends and you don't look like any of them,' the boy crossed his arms.
'Oh...' the veteran froze for a fraction of a moment. 'You really are her son... Just as I thought,' the boy raised an eyebrow at Edér, prompting him to continue. 'I've known her before you were born. Has she never mentioned me? Edér? Teylegc? From Gilded Vale?'
The boy's eyes widened slightly and stepped forward, interested. 'She mentioned Gilded Vale before, but only like it was a slip of the tongue. I could never get her to talk about it.'
'Yeah... she didn't exactly leave under pleasant circumstances.'
The boy frowned. 'And how do I know she wasn't running from you?'
'Well, you don't,' Edér scratched the back of his head. 'Huh, you've got her spirit.'
The boy's frown deepened.
'You just need to trust us,' Gaura said. 'And we're a trustworthy bunch, just ask anyone here.'
The boy cocked his head at the Watcher and watched her silently for a short while. Then he gasped as if a realization dawned on him.
'You're the Captain of that Dyrwoodan ship! The Defiant, was it? Everyone is talking about you here.'
'We might've helped out a bit,' Gaura gave him a knowing smile.
'I... suppose... you're not here to start trouble then, the boy turned back to Edér. 'We're renting a room in The Hole. Mother is probably there, she doesn't like being out in such a crowd.'
'But the Gullet is always crowded,' the Watcher added.
'Exactly,' the boy smiled at her, satisfied with his display of wit.
'Just one more thing: what's your name, kid?' Edér asked.
'Bearn.'
'How old are you, Bearn?'
'I'm turning 17 soon, why?'
Edér's expression darkened as he made his calculations.
'Then... you're too young... Never mind, thanks for your help,' he rushed past the boy, leaving him dumbfounded.
'Uh, I gotta catch up to him,' Gaura gestured towards her companion. 'We'll be docked at Queen's Berth for the next couple of days, if you wanna chat. Bye.' She quickly said her goodbyes and gently pushed her way through the crowd slowly forming around her.
Edér was already talking to the innkeeper by the time the Watcher reached him. He took a deep breath and reached for his pipe, but just as he was about to light it, he stopped. He stared at nothing in particular, then he put away the pipe and looked at Gaura.
'You might get yelled at, so... Sorry about that in advance.'
'I'm used to it, but thanks,' the Watcher replied with a reassuring smile. Edér made his best effort at returning it then he stood up to guide her to Elafa's room. 'Ready?' Gaura asked as they stood facing the plain wooden door.
'Not really,' he said as he knocked.
There was no reply.
'Elafa?' Edér called out. 'It's me, Edér. Remember me?'
Still, there was no reply, but Gaura glimpsed a shadow moving under the door. She turned to Edér who gave her a nod - he noticed it too.
'I know, it's been a while but uh... Got some business here in the Deadfire and I thought I'd come and see you. Been to Hasongo too. I uh... I'm really sorry for what happened there.'
The door still didn't open but Elafa was standing right behind it, Gaura was sure of it.
'Maybe she can see us, too,' she whispered to Edér.
'Oh, right,' he aswered before he turned his attention back to the door. 'I'm here with a friend. Best one I made in years. No need to worry about her, she can be trusted.'
For a moment there was silence and then...
'You still believe in friendship? After everything that's happened?'
Edér was left speechless for a moment. The Watcher saw about a dozen different emotions flashing across his face, finally setting on a mixture of relief and tenderness.
'I missed your voice.'
Elafa hesitated with her answer.
'You didn't answer my question.'
'Sorry, I got a bit... Yeah, I learned to believe in it again.'
The door finally opened. However as soon as Elafa's gaze fell on the Watcher's face, she pulled out a pistol and pointed it right at her head.
'Charmed, I’m sure,' Gaura let out an exasperated sigh.
'Elafa, there's no need-'
'You're "making friends" with Magranites now?!' Elafa's voice rang with fury and old heartbreak.
'I'm not a-'
'What's that supposed to mean?' Edér asked before Gaura could protest.
'You know godsdamned well! But I never thought you would bed someone who would hunt us,' Elafa's gun wavered in front of Gaura's face. She shot a confused look at Edér who replied with an equally confused shrug.
'I think you got the wrong idea about us,' the Watcher said. 'And especially about me.'
'Is that so?' Elafa laughed bitterly. 'Then just who are you supposed to be?'
'Gaura, Captain of the Defiant, the Watcher of Caed Nua, the Herald of Berath and a friend of Edér's.'
Elafa's expression slowly softened. She turned to Edér for a moment who nodded in agreement with the Watcher. She lowered the pistol as she turned her gaze back to Gaura.
'Then... You're the one who ended the Legacy.'
'That's me. Edér helped too. A lot.'
'I was target practice for her enemies,' he joked. But Elafa didn't laugh.
'If you'd done it sooner, I'd have two sons now instead of one.'
Gaura looked away for a moment, trying to hide her guilt. This was not the first time she had to face the sorrow of a mother whose child has been taken by the Legacy, only to see their neighbors' restored. It hasn't gotten easier.
'I'm sorry I couldn't help your child. But I can help you and your other son now.'
'We're hunting Eothas now,' Edér explained. 'Whatever he's up to, we'll make sure he doesn't get to hurt you or Bearn. You have my word.'
'As well as mine.'
Elafa looked to Edér and scoffed. 'Again you're fighting our god. You really haven't changed.'
'You got tougher, though. Looks good on you,' the comment has earned him a faint smile.
'And you still make clumsy moves, I see.'
Gaura watched silently as the tension between her friend and his old flame started to relieve. She was just about to offer to leave them alone when Elafa invited them both into her room. There was barely enough space in there for two beds and a table with some stools.
'So what brings you to the sunniest spot in Neketaka?' Elafa made a poor effort at humor as they got seated.
'You, pretty much,' the Watcher answered.
Elafa blinked at her in disbelief. 'You really came down here, just to meet up? How did you even know I was here?'
'That's... a long story,' Edér added. 'But it's true. Just wanted to catch up, is all.'
Elafa stared at the farmer's hand for a few moments. Edér rubbed an old scar there when he felt her gaze on the back of his hand.
'I remember the last time we just had some catching up to do,' she said.
'Yeah, me too.'
'Didn't even matter, in the end. The babe died on the way to New Heomar. He was... too frail to handle the journey.'
Edér shifted his weight uncomfortably, and Gaura caught a glimpse of sorrow in his eyes.
'Really sorry to hear that,' he said.
Silence spread in the room, and grew more and more suffocating with each second passed. The relief the Watcher sensed earlier was gone and she again found herself wanting to leave.
'Did you ever regret it?' Edér eventually asked the question that hung heavily in the air. 'That you didn't let me come along?'
Elafa just watched him for a while, trying to figure out how to respond.
'There was one night. When the mobs took my husband. I thought back how you fought those guards to help me and my son escape. I thought... maybe you could've saved him too.'
Edér quietly acknowledged the answer and reached for his pipe. 'You mind?' he asked. Elafa shook her head. The veteran lit the pipe and took a long draw from it. The way he exhaled the smoke almost seemed like a sigh.
'So you got married.'
'Had a son, was widowed, sailed out to start over,' Elafa chuckled ruefully. 'I'm getting real good at that last bit.'
Edér kept nodding to himself. Gaura elbowed him in the side and gave him a pointed look. When he didn't seem to catch her meaning she spoke up.
'We could help you with that actually. Well... Edér could. I currently live on a sloop.'
Elafa raised an eyebrow at the Watcher. 'How so?'
'I left Gilded Vale too,' Edér finally found his voice. 'Settled down in Dyrford instead and became the mayor. We... still got a few empty plots of land. Free for anyone willing to take care of them.'
'And you think I'd want to take on that offer, huh?' Elafa said bitterly. 'Y'know when we left New Heomar, we could've gone anywhere in the world. We could've stayed in the Dyrwood, we could've stayed in the Eastern Reach. But we came here instead.'
'Guess, that's a no.'
'That, it is.'
Gaura sighed and leaned forward on her stool. 'Elafa, you left before Eothas came to Hasongo, so you probably don't know the state the outpost is in. It's... not good. Even if it was possible to rebuild everything as it was, would it not be wiser to consider your options?'
'I have considered them: I get to choose between uncertainty in a safe community or comfort surrounded by people ready to backstab me at any moment...'
'I would never let that happen, Elafa,' Edér's tone was tense but sincere.
'I know,' she smiled at him, 'but I can neither ignore nor forget what happened in the last twenty years. I'd rather face hardship here than what I've left behind.'
'So you're just gonna run?'
'And you're just gonna hold on to something that is long gone. Why do you think I refused to let you come along?' Elafa looked Edér in the eye and sighed, bracing herself. 'Edér, no matter how sweet you were... Nothing could've worked between us. Not after the war. I was willing to adapt but you... you tried so hard not to let the war change you. It was endearing but... That was it. I couldn't be like you and I couldn't take this away from you.'
'Why, that is good to know,' Edér said with gritted teeth after a few moments that felt like an eternity. 'And it would've been good to know twenty years ago too,' he stood up. 'Y'know there was a lot I was willing to do for you... There still is... '
'I can tell,' Elafa seemed strangely heartbroken as she spoke, 'which is why I think you should go.'
'Agreed.'
'But I...' Gaura wanted to protest but neither Edér nor Elafa seemed interested in what she had to say. She sighed as she stood up as well. 'You see, Caed Nua may be gone, but know that you have a place by my hearth wherever that may be. Edér's friends are my friends.'
'I can see why he likes you,' Elafa glanced at Edér leaving the room. 'Take care of him, will you.'
'Yeah and you take care too,' the Watcher flashed a quick and apologetic smile at her before she left as well.
Gaura hurried after the farmer down the hallway. She caught up to him at the base level of The Hole. He didn't seem particularly angry or sad. Just tired. 'Sorry about how things went down back there,' she approached him. 'I should've done more...'
'Hey, cut it out,' he gave her a faint half-smile. 'You've done more than enough. Guess, you were right about... Well... Everything.'
Gaura wasn't sure what else she could've said. So she embraced him without another word. Edér hugged her back, hesitantly at first, then so tightly it nearly hurt.
'Edér, you're squeezing the soul outta me.'
'Sorry about that. Lemme buy you a pint as a proper apology,' he inclined his head towards the bar.
'A pint of the swill from here? You're trying to kill me?'
The veteran managed to laugh at that. It was a half-hearted laugh at best, but it was something. Gaura could work with that. Whatever small measure of peace she could help him achieve was worth the effort.
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