#and it made me feel soooo silly and I think it kicked me down a bit towards that fic

[millenniumringg]

Didn't read the update? It lives rent free in my head! You are a fantastic writer, I wish I could leave a kudos on each chapter.

WAHHHHHHHHH 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 thank you anon 😭💖 I had trouble updating ch 23 in that I had to upload it like. 3 times and then I had to edit the chapter unexpectedly and quickly and sort of just wondered if maybe the technical difficulties resulted in lack of update notification?? I’m sure that thought process is just me overthinking however the way I was scrambling to fix that chapter was an emotional rollercoaster LMAO

BUT ANYWAYS THANK YOU… 🫶💖 so much 🫶

[sweet1delusi0ns]

Giving naruto boys flowers ──☆*:・ﾟ

Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,Itachi🥀, kakashi🍃, kiba🐺, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲,neji🎋,Lee🥋,choji🍥,gaara⏳,kankuro🪆

Naruto🦊-*

“FLOWERS!!!!” He’s so touched by the fact that you actually cared enough to buy him flowers! When you brought him a bouquet of a all kinds of orange flowers he lost it

“I LOVE THEM OMG OMG OMG” he fangirls so hard over you. “THANK YOU!” He rushes in for a very big kiss “your welcome baby! Do you like them?” “I love them! But not as much as you!” He snorts from laughter “your adorable foxy~”

He doesn’t know how to take care of flowers that well but he still gets so sad when they start to wilt. He waits for you to buy him more thought! Tried leaving hints that he wants more flowers. “Ohhh look a coupon for that flower shop you love so much hmmm” “your not sneaky naruto. Just say you want more flowers!” “I want more flowers.”

Sasuke🗡️-*

“What are these for It’s not my birthday?” “You deserve presents other than on your birthday?” “I do…?” “YES!!!” He doesn’t quite understand why you got him flowers yet he

still loves them!

“I still don’t get why you got me flowers?” “because I love you dude!” You use dude in slight annoyance but you weren’t mad! “Well I Love You too darling, and I suppose I like them..” “you love them huh?” “Yes thank you y/n. This is very special, I’ll cherish them” he meant it, those flowers lived much longer than you thought was possible in a vase.

He CARES for those flowers, seriously that’s how they lived so long. This is how his obsession with taking care of plants started, from those first flowers you got him. Now you get him new one every month and he loves caring for them. If you ever have anyone in the house you brag about how much of a green thumb he is, but if someone dares to touch the flowers you gave him he will smack them away.

Itachi🥀-*

He understands why you got him flowers he just feels like it’s undeserved. “Oh flowers, how pretty!” “They are for you~” “oh! Thank you. But wouldn’t you rather have them?”

You don’t understand why he tried pushing them away but you didn’t let it slide. You push the flowers into his hands causing him to softly blush. “No they are for YOU.” He looked up at you before looking back at the flowers “ok…thank you darling, I’ll care for them I promise”

He like flowers but not a crazy amount. A few flowers here and there was perfect. No matter what he thinks of himself he still loves how you still consider him even when going to the flower shop.

Kakashi🍃-*

“Oh thanks!” You were shocked that there was no reaction in his voice. “Nothing? Not even a laugh?” “I don’t blush at everything you do!” You literally looked at him with the blandest expression ever. “Oh really?” You pulled his mask down to reveal his VERY RED FACE. You laugh at his silly attempt to hide it.

“Not blushing huh?” Sigh “fine fine. Thank you y/n I love them.” He doesn’t care for flowers but he still loves them because they are from you. But he prefers succulents and such so when you gifted him one he didn’t hesitate to pull his mask off and smother you with kisses (privately)

Kiba🐺-*

Last time you got him flowers akamaru ate them soooo this time you had to give it to them were akamaru wasn’t around. You leaded Kiba to the bedroom and when akamaru followed you kicked him out, this obviously made Kiba think you guys were going to do something else-

“No no not you akamaru, leave” “what why can’t he be here?” You groan “because i want to do something special” a smirk grew on his face “oh really~ say less” you dropped on his knees and you finally realized what he thought was happening. “NO IM GIVING YOU FLOWERS FREAK!” His face turned red quickly “oh… ehm…give them to me” you handed him the beautiful flowers and he softly smelt them. He can obviously smell more from the flowers so he really likes them.

He doesn’t know how to care for them but he loves the smell and he loves that it came from you

Shikamaru🀄️-*

“Flowers…? Thats really thoughtful thanks” “You don’t like flowers that much huh-” “no dear. Sorry but I like them because they came from you!” He doesn’t like flowers ok they were just never his thing but he appreciates any gift from you so he sucks it up

He just puts them on the counter for a whole day and was confused on why they died so fast until he asked you. “You put them in water right?” “Water…?” “Yes water idiot.” “Uhm no I did not-” You got him another bouquet just to teach him how to actually care for them

Shino🪲-*

The second you handed him the flowers his face turned rosy and a colony of his bees instantly when for the pretty flowers. He sniffs the flowers while his bees buzz around them happily

“Do you like them bugaboo?” (LOL) “yes, I love them. My flower gave me flowers~” “and my bees are very happy with the nectar. Thank you they are perfect!” He plants them if possible to keep them alive for as long as he lives but if that’s not possible he still makes those flowers live a VERY long time, probably because of all his cute bugs!

Neji🎋-*

You leave him flowers everywhere with little notes on them, he loves finding them, reading the love note and then adding the flower to his secret collection (you thought he just threw them away after but NOPE) one day you got him a bouquet of a dozen flowers either with notes on them~

“Y-y/n this is to much..” “nonsense, read them all!” He gladly read them all infront if you, growing redder with each love note. He started tearing up from your sweet notes and giving you a very big hug!

Lee🥋-*

“OH MY GOSH FLOWERS!” “GIMME!” “Ok ok calm down! Here rocky, I picked them all myself!” He grabs the flowers from your hand and gives the bouquet a hug, which caused one of the petals to fall off which he did NOT like

“NOO THEY ARE DYING ALREADY!” You laugh “they aren’t dying they are just shedding don’t worry!” “Uhm…fine. But when they do die can you get me more!!!” “Yes Lee-”

Choji🍥-*

The only flowers he’s use to are those edible ones on the side of his fancy dinners so he was lost when he couldn’t make food with it. But still LOVES themm

“I can’t use them as a garnish?” “No they will make you sick!” He looks at the pretty flowers and smiles “oh well, I love them anyways, just how I love you~” you blush softly at his sweet talk then kiss his cute cheeks

Gaara⏳-*

He understands the gesture but also doesn’t feel like he deserves them. So when you handed him the flowers that match his red hair perfectly he smiled at them but it turned into a frown

“They are so pretty…but why?” “Because I love you~” you grab a flower from his hand then tuck it behind is ear, then you rest your hand on his cheek before speaking “so pretty, I hope you like them” you kiss his nose causing him to cover his face with the flowers

Kankuro🪆-*

“Lameeeeee” “don’t be a brat! He grateful I spend money on you!” “Whateverrr” you leave the room to leave him be but once you left he picked up the flowers and brought them close to his chest before whispering “I love them…” which you heard

You run back into the room to see him huddling the flowers against him while he face is in shock. “Aw your so cute kuro~ my baby loves flowers~” “shut it! I’m not your baby! And I don’t like them I just uh…feel it’s wasteful to not appreciate them-” “oh sureeee, don’t hide your soft side from me.” “Ughhh…yes I love them y/n, thanks..”

[blue-jisungs]

hi hi hi!!! is it possible to request for long distance relationship with piwon? and thank you for your contributions within the p1ece community with all of these masterpieces you've made 🫡

[ 💌 ] long distance relationship w piwon

# author’s note ... ahhh sorry it took so long:(( TYSM FOR RQING THO N FOR UR NICE WORDS HEHE!!! i got a bunch of piwon reqs and u dont even know how excited i am to write them mwhaahahah <333

┆彡 KEEHO [ 기호 ]

i feel like he’d be the strongest soldier amongst them all

because he’s just so chronically online LMFAO 

no but even if you don’t text everyday (which happens, given his busy schedules), there’s always a way that keeho will reach out 

sends you reels on insta, sends you tiktok’s he found or he filmed, you can see his bereal, you can see what he’s listening to on airbuds … like he makes sure you know he’s safe n sound (i hope that makes sense?!) 

and he clings to every notification from you as well!!! 

like oh, you just hit another milestone on duolingo?? he’s texting you asap !!!

also the type to spam you with photos of things that remind him of you:(((( 

he loooves to face time you but more often than not the call always ends up interrupted by one of the boys 😭😭😭

┆彡 INTAK [ 인탁 ]

he’s so loverboy im actually gonna cry 

he was not build for this please save him from this misery 😿😿😿 

cannot survive without calling you at LEAST twice a day. like for real. 

will spam you with i love yous and i miss yous so so much because he just wants to be sure that you know his feelings for you are unchanged:(

facetiming is a must as well, he’ll often do that at the end of his (or yours if you’re in diff time zone) day so you can talk before going to sleep:( 

won’t admit but loves when you fall asleep on ft:( like at least he can adore your sleepy face like he does when he’s with you:(

deffo buys everything that he thinks you’d like so when you reunite he has BAGS of gifts:(

(can you tell i love him so dearly.)

┆彡 THEO [ 테오 ]

he’s so:< 

checks up on you everyday!!!!! tracks your lil icon on find my and calls you sometimes like “oh i saw you’re in your fav cafe, what are you getting?” 

i believe he’s a romantic okay? so you two deffo have those apps for couples that like ,, you can draw something and it’ll pop up on his screen 

or locket! :( like he loves getting notifs n he deffo stares at the silly selfies you take:(((( 

he also sends flowers for you, sometimes no matter the occasion <\\3 may or may not send a bottle of his cologne because he just knows you’ll feel less lonely if you can smell his perfume🥹🥹🥹

he’s sooo nostalgic❤️‍🩹 will scroll through your pics and videos… watch them all the time… m smile so fondly at the screen (while others make fun of him >:T) 

has bought tickets to your place impulsively… at least three times 

(and obv used them ?! like hellour he won’t waste the money now that he bought them !!! )

┆彡 JIUNG [ 지웅 ]

please end his suffering pt2 

he is physically sick when you’re not around !!! (his tummy hurts… well, his heart too…) 

spams you all day everyday – he saw a cute cat? sent. cool clothes? sent and asking for advice. a dead frog on the street? sent with caption ‘me when you’re 372028193 km away’ 

selfies too!!! you’ll get soooo many selcas bc he just knows you miss his face (and worry not, you send yours in return!! he kicks his legs like a teenage girl whenever he sees them~~) 

facetimes you (or you him) even when doing the most mundane things ever… you could be studying in silence and he’ll be playing on his switch, none of you talking because you’re locked in… but he steals glances at the screen and your face,,, mentally counting down days when you’re gonna meet again 🥹

literally thinks about you sm that he can’t help but mention you whenever he can:( “omg yn would love that!” “oooo this is yn’s favorite snack!!” “i need to take a pic for yn!!!” 

atp his friends scheme how to get him to you ASAP!!!

┆彡 SHOTA [ 翔太 ]

i feel like he’d handle it the worst actually:( but only bc he’s just such a lover boy, he needs you close:( 

keeho or other members will often send you pictures of sulking shota once you hang up on face time <\3 

will spam you even with single kaomojis so you’re an expert with those, professional translator if you will

definitely spams you with lots of content too, like pics of plushies, his short blogs, food pics 

requires food pics in return (secretly makes sure you do eat this way) 

when he’s feeling like a little tease, he’ll send lots of pics with keeho when they’re hugging and caption them with something sassy 😭 

deffo tracks you on find my when he’s bored but deep down he just checks up on you and makes sure you’re safe 

┆彡 JONGSEOB [ 종섭 ]

you’re literally vlogging to each other 😭😭😭 voice memos or insta stories just for him !! 

and you bet your ass he’ll reply to every single one 

loves face timing you when he’s writing new songs… you’re his muse (but it’s not like he’ll say it out loud) 

definitely looks at your pictures with a whipped smile (and got caught sooo many times but they don’t tease him that much since he’s just so in love it hurts

another one to use every app possible to keep in touch w you HOWEVER he’s not very cheesy,,, so expect him to doodle theo with a big butt in return to your hearts and flowers 

sending memes and reels is his love language, will send lots with the caption “us when i get back” :(( 

masterlist <3

taglist. @primoppang ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @slytherinshua ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,,

@mon2sunjinsuver ,, @litepowee

[stvrdrops]

eternal eclipse ☆ | drolta x fem!reader (castlevania;nocturne)

to share only night together was not enough, only an eternity could quench your thirst for drolta.

warnings : talk of death, kissing, vampire stuff

word count : 1.5k+

note : soooo, it's been a while since i've posted any fanfic. not gonna lie life been really kicking ass and i struggled to write for my normal shuri stuff cause i lost my fixation. but i hope this little niche fanfic finds those who enjoy it :)

.

p.s. i recommend listening to "no ordinary love" by sade :)

"why don't you ever stay the night?"

"i stay every night." drolta says to you, licking her lips and recalling the fresh taste of your magnificent blood.

"or rather, morning." you whisper out, finding yourself a little too frail to sit up all the way. your dress falls as you sit up slightly. an exposed bite causing blood to run down your chest. drolta watched through pink eyes. the dark surrounding them was something so hypnotizing that you always found yourself falling into it. it was like some kind of inviting abyss.

"mortals and their silly questions. how you grovel for my touch and teeth among your skin is ever so amusing."

"i grow older drolta!" you weakly yell out to her. this grabs her attention, not once have you ever yelled at the higher powered being. you shed a single tear, letting out a sigh of utter desperation. "i age with every sunrise and dawn. my bones grow weaker and some day you will come to see me only to find an old woman in my place. i know i am young now, but i've aged over the last couple years and nothing about you changes. you're still as beautiful as the day we met and you will forever remain this way."

drolta's eyes drop away from yours, taking in your words of anguish. she knew you were right, because she'd have other companions before. she had bed women and men far before you were ever born. she'd watch them go and come, their children or grandchildren sometimes even becoming her next fling. it was a cycle she had grown oddly accustomed to, not feeling any certain emotion for one or the next. she liked the fact that she aged and grew more powerful in the search of the vessel for her goddess while others perished. it made her feel the power she knew she had within her.

your hand finds her exposed arm. she turns to look at you.

"drolta, i envy that some day i will be too old for you and yet someone will be just young enough. it is not fair that you help me to discover such deep emotions. not ever will i feel for someone the way i feel for you. all this feeling, just for it to one day end once i can no longer serve you."

"there have been some before you and there will be many after you. i am a soul that walks this earth with no true claim anymore. you have a purpose, and warm blood to keep you living in the way your story speaks."

"what if my story is simply for me to serve you? i want to be your companion in this feeble mortal life that i share with my human counterparts. then, have that companionship follow into a new world my soul can not comprehend. i do not want to age among the rest, i want to have a face that is young but a mind that is aged by love. your love."

drolta had heard many a confession, but this one did something different to her. she swore that if she had a heartbeat she could feel it perhaps skip a beat.

"do you know exactly what it is that you're asking of me? what that means to be my partner eternally?" drolta asks, clearly enticed by the idea.

"i don't now what all it means, but i'd have an eternity to learn. i want to devour the sunlight with you, devour the world alongside you. what if i am the vessel that you desire?"

drolta's pink eyes lock onto your dark ones. for the first time she thinks she can feel a devotion to someone other than her goddess. or, perhaps, for her goddess in a new twisted discovery. this shocks her, renders her unable to think properly. she had spent so long devoting her life to a woman that she didn't know what it meant to have true devotion back. her body tingled, and her pink hair began to flame up from the idea.

you were the vessel for her messiah.

"you will devour the sun, me alongside you. first, i shall devour you."

the word devour sent chills through your body.

she extends a hand out to you. you gracefully accept the invite. she uses her enhanced strength to pull you up, your warm body next to her cold one as she spreads out her wings. the two of your exit out of the french doors and onto the balcony that your family's wealth had graciously provided for you. it was where you first met drolta.

her wings flap and for the first time you find yourself floating in the air. your eyes grow wide and a childlike smile spreads across your face. drolta gives you a devilish smile in return.

oh, to be in love with something so unholy as she.

no angel could ever look this beautiful.

"romantic, isn't it?" she asks, licking over the neck wound. it sends you into a euphoria, as your blood sends her into a similar one. you can feel the heat from her inflamed pink hair grazing your skin.

"i love you, drolta."

your lips find hers as you're both suspended in the air over a lake. your eyes are closed but you can still see the pink hues from among your eyelids. as if you were stuck in a trance, she kisses you harder and faster. you can taste your own blood in her mouth, ever so addicting. now you can see why she can't seem to leave you alone.

a moan escapes from inside of you, one out of the millions drolta had heard before. she had come to see you every night since you met, which was three years ago. some nights she'd stay for a chat or a simple couple of minutes. others she would ravage you and drink you almost dry just to do it again the next night.

"take me!" you beg to her, causing her flame to grow bigger and eyes to grow wider. god, how she craved your mortal being. your naivety and free outlook. anyone else feared death, and yet you welcomed it, knowing the transformation may not even work with how powerful drolta's blood truly was. she had turned others before. you were just the first in a very long time.

she stops her feverish and hungered kisses, diving for your neck. sharp teeth overtake you, a pain echoing from your neck to the rest of your body. it was a familiar pain, but it never got any easier to get accustomed to. you welcomed the pain and the feeling of being drained entirely. you enjoyed the feeling of her tongue sweeping over the blood seeping from your neck. just as you loved the way her tongue swept over your feminine autonomy. the devil was draining you and you desired it to never end.

it didn't matter that you were losing the color in your body. nothing mattered anymore. as you could feel your life force being drained from your very being. she was bringing you death, but she was also bringing you to a new life. an eternal one.

your hand fell from her neck, losing all of its feeling. drolta senses that you're near the end and rips her teeth away from you, finding it hard to control herself. your blood was unlike any other that she'd ever tasted. it was blood good enough to compare to the likes of her messiah.

the moonlight shone on the two of you, bouncing off of the tiny ripples that existed among the waters below you. it was beautiful, a perfect end to a beginning. your eyes closing slightly, drolta being the last thing you see. she was smiling at you, but not out of love, more out of accomplishment.

"drink." the words slither out of her mouth. she rips into her own wrist, causing a new blood to seep from within her.

surprised in yourself, you don't waste any time reaching fervently for the blood of your lover. your mouth clings onto her wrist and suckles in any blood she can spare for you. your eyes are closed as you fall into a bliss. her moans filled your ears every so pleasantly.

she pulls you away from her wrist, knowing that if you get any more you may kill her.

when she sees your face again it is still the same shade she's always adorned. yet, your eyes are different this time. no longer a dark brown, but a light one, almost a shade of gold. it reminds her of egypt.

it reminds her of sekhmet.

your fangs are dripping with her blood.

"my bringer of death!" she shouts out to you. you don't register what she's saying due to the unfamiliar new being you seem to find yourself as.

her lips once again collide with yours. there's a newfound hunger shared between the two of you. something much deeper than anything ever felt before. drolta did not know what it meant to love, you did. yet, somehow this seemed like something so unfamiliar to the both of you. was it lust? or was it something much deeper that transcends both vampire and human?

it didn't matter, as the two of you kissed deeply and passionately in the air above the lake. the sight so beautiful that even the sun not dared to come up in fear of interrupting the moment. for a second, it seemed as if the night would be eternal, just you and drolta suspended in the air for an eternity.

an eternity you were sure to bring, as the vessel for the new messiah.

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙✧⋆｡°✩☼⋆｡°✩☽

[amaleu-antmat]

The case files of Jeweler Richard spoiler part 6 ( This is absolutely one of the most adorable moment between them)

Seigi and Richard were going back to the mansion.

Seigi "Maybe I am being a worry worrywart, but what's going on with this Octavia thing? I heard about your meeting with Jeffrey and Henry, is everything okay?"

Richard " I'll have to save both the apologies and explanations for another day. But I am confident that we're slowly getting closer to the heart of the matter"

Seigi "..Well, that's good. Is there anything I can do?"

Richard "I need you to be patient. I don't need a gun that will fire on my word. All I want from you is a friend who will stand right beside me and look at the world in a slightly different light."

Seigi "Huh? Oh....oh....." (totally flustered)

Richard "Seigi are you all right? I know I made you walk quite a distance, and they didn't make you wear a respirator or anything while painting...are you feeling unwell?"

Seigi wants to say he is okay, but no words come out. He stops in place and goes silent. Richard stops pushing the bike, too.

Seigi pulls out his phone and, with the camera mode of panorama open, takes a picture. (He didn't take a picture of Richard, just the scenery)

Richard is puzzled "What are doing?"

Seigi "No, I uhm...I just suddenly got the urge to take a picture. Just one"

Provence's sky, the fields of olive trees, the dry fallen grasses, the plastic bottles carelessly tossed aside, and the white stone paths -<listen to this. Well, don't actually listen, because I can't say it out loud, but just guess.>

<My dear boss called me his friend>

<He said all he wanted from me was a friend. Which meant I was his friend>

Seigi is sooooo happy 😊 so much that he doesn't know what to do. He knows that their boss and part timer relationship lasted only until the fall of his second year at college, and in the meantime, they had gotten closer, Seigi deep down already considered them being friends.

Seigi silly monologue lol --> <What are friends in the first place? Was a friend just a promotion from acquaintance? If that were the case, surely you would know what rank you were at and why you'd been promoted? Had I advanced in that way? Had I made some great leap forward since my second year of college, in terms of compatibility? I didn't really think so. Maybe that was why, even though I knew we were getting closer, I told myself not to get a big head. I convinced myself that it couldn't possibly be that simple.

Which is why now I feel like I've taken a blow at my heart out of the blue, I was so happy that I felt like singing, dancing and screaming, and doing cartwheels, but that would make look suspicious and scare people as well, and then this man would have no choice but to say he didn't want to be friends with me anymore. And that would suck, it would be embarrassing enough for him to notice how happy those words had made me. Richard liked to keep things cool and rational. I should find a way to follow his lead.>

Seigi is soooo happy and resume walking and try to keep his mouth in check. Richard is embarrassed as well and accidentally kick the bike multiple times, and they both seem to not be able to walk straight xD

Seigi tries to straighten himself and start walking like a wooden soldier, reminding himself to be normal.

Richard "....You're so easy to read"

Seigi "Huh? What do you mean?"

Richard "Nothing at all" but "...the feeling is mutual"

Richard keeps on bumping his leg into the bike's pedal twice as much as before until they finally arrive at the villa 😆

Seigi internally commented that it was an odd behaviour for a man who seems to be fundamentally incompatible with the word clumsy.

[jooillusion]

hii flor! soooo, i was thinking, what about Seungmin and overstimulation, like a smut when he makes me cum multiple times, taking me to the limit over and over again... just thinking

(btw, can i be your anon, please? 🎱)

overstimulation ft. seungmin <3

warnings: multiple orgasms, usage of sex toy (vibrating panties), oral (f.), overstimulation, semi public sex bc you and seungmin r new members of the mile high club (no shame)

welcome to my lil anon family 🎱 anon c:! hope you enjoy your time here <333

you should’ve known not to make bets with oh seungmin.

you didn’t believe jooyeon being better than your brother at soccer, which led to seungmin boasting about how good he is due to being on the soccer team back in high school and a bet between you two. your heart dropped to your asswatching jooyeon kick the soccer ball straight into the goal for the final point. and it dropped from your ass into the earth when seungmin had that mischievous smile on his face a week later, holding some purple vibrating panties into his hands.

at first you thought it was a silly gift, but little did you know that seungmin had decided what your punishment was: you had to wear them for the whole four hour flight you two had, completely in his control. you swallowed your pride with your luck being tested, seeing how long you could last.

just to your luck you made it past the boarding gate and to your seat with the low vibrations, leaning into the window seat. and you knew seungmin too well to know that he’d raise the vibrations as the plane took off, startling a yelp out of you that had him snickering beside you. he lowers and raises the vibrations again in intervals, building up the orgasm that’d been on edge for the longest.

you cross your legs and slump against your seat, trying to find a pressure to relieve yourself. you feel the heat seungmin’s hand over yours, quickly snatching your shaking hand away.

“cmon, let me touch you, sweetheart.” he says almost sounding coyly, “i can make you feel better.”

you shake your head, rubbing your legs together, finally finding some kind of friction. seungmin watches you squirm in your seat, unable to control yourself as your first orgasm hits you, smiling to himself once the silent gasps pour out of your lips. your left a mess, your panties probably already ruined and the air in the plane suddenly becoming too hot.

but he didn’t stop right there. he left the panties vibrating more vigorously than the first setting and didn’t let you catch a break at all. three hours into the flight, you’ve lost track of how many times you came, but seungmin watched you almost this whole time. six times you had orgasmed in the panties. he watches your self-restraint drop with each orgasm, your voice hoarse, face wet from tears, and the way you shake more aggressively than before.

seungmin slows down the vibrations to a stop and your eyelids lull closed, thinking you’re on the brink of passing out, the thought of finally catching catching a break on your mind.

you don’t have the power to even push away seungmin who’s lifting you by the arm and thanking himself for buying tickets in the back or else the bathroom would’ve been a long, long walk of shame. he steadies your body onto his and you’re leaning comfortably against him, him pushing you inside and gently perching your body against the small counter. he locks the door behind him, the small space of the bathroom making it almost difficult for him to flip you around.

your pants are being pulled down along with the panties, the cold air hitting your swollen cunt harshly due to the mess you’ve made. you twitch at the feeling seungmin’s thumb spreading your release, his tongue soon replacing his finger to lick up your release. his tongue flattens against your cunt in the best way possible, stroking against you and pushing his lips together to meet and close around your clit, sucking at the sensitive bud. your head reaches behind you, grabbing a handful of seungmins hair and pushing him even closer, your hips weakly grinding against his flushed face.

“f-fuck seungmin…w-wait…” you pull at his locks, your seventh orgasm already on the way due to the sensitivity and the way seungmin’s tongue starts to move swiftly. judging from the way your hands thread through his hair repeatedly and pull, he knows you don’t want him to stop. he grunts against your cunt, his aching cock that’s been in his pants begging to be touched.

you’re fully reduced to uncontrollably drooling at this point, the haze of pleasure becoming too much to handle, the aircraft far away from your mind as you whimper out loud. you’re almost brought back at the way seungmin squeezes your ass cheek as a warning of what might happen if you two are caught.

your heart beats out your chest, your seventh orgasm washing over you and onto seungmin’s tongue. your legs barely could hold you up anymore and your thighs tremble, seungmin licking you clean once more before he seals his work with a kiss and pulls away from your quaking cunt.

he cleans cleans up your drool from the counter and checks the bathroom before leading you back to your seats, your energy all spent and gone. seungmin lets you lean on him the rest of the plane ride, watching you nap soundly on his shoulder. he didn’t even get to relieve himself, being alarmed that he is still on an airplane with many people, his hard on still slightly poking beneath his loose sweatpants. but he sets it aside.

for now, all he could think about is how good he’ll fuck you when you both arrive to the hotel. for now, he thinks about how many more positions he’ll have you in. for now, he thinks about the privacy you two’ll have once he sets your bags down. he’ll let you recharge, making sure you’ll have more than enough energy for it.

eeeeee this was so shorter than usual but i hope you like it. also, i see what you did there with the emoji anon…

please remember that this is a pure work of fiction.

[cowboybrunch]

writerly questionnaire tag!!!

finally getting around to this, thanks a million @the-golden-comet (here) @harmonic-melodii (here) and @fortunatetragedy (here) <3

About You

When did you start writing?

as soon as i could hold a pen. i have notebooks FULL of little me's stories (i keep everything ive ever written. for nostalgia.) it was mostly silly escapism for a lonely child but now it's sweet to look at and giggle. from when i was maybe eight? nine?: "Pain and fear, like a perfect recipe. Pain and fear, milk and eggs"

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

mmm probably. when i say ill read anything, i mean ill read ANYTHING. i dont think ill ever write a hockey romance but im down to clown

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

poetry-wise Bhanu Kapil has been a massive inspiration for me. also Kaveh Akbar and Ariana Reines (Mercury sits in a place of honor on my bookshelf). for novels? i feel like i emulate whatever i last read. Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver did horrible (affectionate) things to the way i write

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

my office! my favorite place in the world!! cozy lights (that double as gamer lights), diet coke can graveyard, comfy office chair big enough for me to sit in a way that absolutely destroys my posture. sticky notes everywhere (a fun challenge! can i read my own handwriting?) AND!! i have an audience

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

reading something else, talking to someone about whatever im stuck on, setting a timer and just dumping everything in my brain (something in there HAS to be worth pursuing)

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

HA!

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

overbearing parental figures that believe they're acting in the best interest of their kid... surprising when i realized that it's in almost everything i write characters that are good at heart but commit atrocities due to their circumstances... less surprising oh! and death. i write a lot about death (someone pointed this out recently and i was like huh. you right)

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Missy and Theodore staring at each other like

sorry! Theodore is my favorite!! he got here first!!!! he's my precious loser baby boy who HAPPENS to be the heir of death but he's trying his best! he's pathetic!! he's doomed!! but he means well! he doesn't want anyone to die alone! he wants to be good! he wants to be good soooo bad!! he hates rivers but loves the ocean!! he lies to everyone, including himself! he's simultaneously full of self-loathing and self-righteousness!! AND... he's bisexual!!

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

i would kick it with Robbie for SURE. snarky little smarty pants that can't sit still for more than five minutes, we'd be peas

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

*looks around nervously* ... Marcella (BOO!! TOMATO!!) im sensitive and she would be mean to me!! i feel like we'd warm up to each other eventually but not before she made me cry

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

they just kinda... show up. and reveal more about themselves as i write them

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

ougffff. lots of anger in these parts. most of my characters are angry, esp the women. as they should be

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

depends on the character! for main guys, they get listed descriptions but i cant picture them in my head (thank you picrew). but others? they're like. blurry shadows moving through the story (do NOT ask me what Uriel looks like! i DONT KNOW!)

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

words in brain make story in head. need story out of head so i can focus on literally anything else no but seriously. that quote that's like "the only thing worse than writing is not writing." it's like. a maintenance activity. if im feeling especially wound up it's probably because i havent written anything lately

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

if you leave me ANY comment i am kissy you on the forehead. just knowing that someone read it let alone enjoyed it... waoh

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

i am... trying very hard not to fall into self-deprecation here. i think there are things that i do well and things that i can improve on, but even if i write something and think it's "bad" i can still learn from it. all practice is good practice!!! (said through gritted teeth)

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

yea! i would find comfort in it i think, same way i do now. have my little characters for company

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

i am my own target audience. i am the conductor of the self-indulgence train but there's room aplenty if you wanna hop on

tag! @illarian-rambling @writingrosesonneptune @sarandipitywrites @mrbexwrites @mysticstarlightduck and a wide open tag if you havent done this yet. gimme a peek into your brain!!!

[residentalienfan69dodoobuttballs]

I LOVE THE ALIEN BIRD YURI YIPIEEEE !! THEY ARE THE CUTEST THINGGG !!!!!!! 💙💜

Harry's first real love interest being an AVIAN is the absolute amazing, silliest thing EVER. The running joke, during the entirety of the show, of Harry being attracted to Avians actually being made into a relevant plotline is the most resident alien thing I could even think of bro. So rewarding for the viewer how they followed through with it instead of it just being a bunch of throw away lines !! It just speaks to how amazing the writing in this show is. It never stops surprising me, I love a story where every little detail is relevant and connected. (And I love surprises) IT'S SO GOOD. !!!

And they have the best, funniest chemistry dude. During their weird makeout scene I had to remember that these are actually actors doing this in front of a camera because it just felt so believable and real lmfaooo. 😭🙏 These actors are so amazing. I'm so impressed with everyone's performance in this show, it all feels so realistic; despite all the crazy alien shit constantly going on. (Especially with D'Arcys portrayal, she's actually my favorite character lmfao. Sorry Harry love youuu.)

I am soooo so glad they didn't do the "guy character is obviously attracted to woman female woman character but makes it really weird and it's uncomfortable and the "comedy" is how uncomfortable the woman is and how pushy the guy is." ...Trope. I was so worried about it when Heather was first introduced bc it's such an easy grasp at comedy that SOOO many shows are guilty of. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders when it was the exact opposite !!!. Making it a mutual crush had me literally kicking and giggling and jumping for joy, it's so cute and silly. The divergence of expectations just gerrr I eat it the fuck up every time. More cute and silly weird aliens in love please.

Ik people are put off by the instant puppy love but believe me. Instant puppy love is some real powerful shit y'all. I have felt that FIRST HAND !!! Plus I'm just a sucker for corny, cheesy romance in general. Whaaat I won't lie...I looooove bitches being cringe together, it's the most freeing thing in the world. And for me, the absolute strongest element of resident alien is how the character's relationships are written. I know some crazy shit is going to go down. But I am genuinely rooting for these two !! 😁 I love how Harry doesn't have to hide or change any part of himself for her. For the first time since he's been on Earth, he's been able to be totally 100% honest with someone. He can't even do that with Asta! I think their relationship makes so much sense. Especially with Harry's longing to find another alien to relate to. (And him actually getting that !!! Ahhh !!!! I love him being happy. He was so cute this whole episode.)

They don't have to be endgame or anything, I just hope it resolves in a way that makes sense. Even if it's not exactly what I would've wanted. I just wanna see more of these two crazy freaky lovebirds (btw.... lovebirds....kind of a cute ship name huh guys...I'm just brainstorming here...lol.) gerr I am SO excited to see all the drama next episode I can barely wait I'm going to shit my pants.

[carlytayjepsen]

okay initial yellowjackets thoughts!!!!!

this is mostly a ramble and i need to rewatch but for now:

LOVE the opening scene and the spring setting for the 90s timeline. love getting to see them just be silly bitchy teenagers!!!! they're building huts and having dinners together and raising ducks and bunnies!!!!!! after that entire timeline in the last season being very dark and cold, it's so nice to completely switch it up to something more colourful.

i love mari. i love that she's getting more in this season right from the start and i can't wait to see what they do with her and ben. mari technically being the first pit girl is very funny (and her popping her knee back in made me want to throw up)

shauna writing in her diary like she's a child who wasn't invited to the sleepover😭

shauna and mari fighting is so funny. "i can't believe we didn't eat that bitch first"

i want to give teenage shauna hug so bad. those flashbacks to the birth episode. ooooof.

nat really doesn't want to be a leader huh

callie being the first one we see in the present timeline!! yessss it's her season!!!!!!!! her whole storyline with the bullies. "are we sure they weren't human?" "the girls???" "the guts!" her and shauna bonding over the video. i love these three (and randy lol)

misty grieving and nat's funeral made me want to cry

i'm glad walter's still a part of it cause his role in season 2 was really silly and i need there to be more to him. i really love him and misty together, and he had two of my favourite lines so far: "misty. no one picked up before they got to w" and "a sleepover? it's 11pm..."

misty i love you🥺 her little joke about the taxes and lighting their dicks on fire bit. and constantly going on about the bond her and her teammates share. thinking it's an intervention when she's called to shauna's house when they have no idea about any of it :(

i'm really enjoying adult lottie so far! i didn't get into her character in season 2 - but that might just be me always hating cult storylines. her blaming jeff for brining callie with him, and when callie mentions shauna kicking her out on the lawn "yes! she said that!"

that whole sleepover scene with the rum and milk and the animal face masks. and misty organising the cupboard

the whole speak to the manager bit

the restaurant scene. jeff not knowing how tapas works and shauna calling out the nepo guys

i have a horrible feeling that simone and sammy won't be in this season at all. which i absolutely hate. very glad that tai's whole senator storyline is seemingly over with cause i wasn't a fan, but their home life and sammy being terrified of "the bad one" was soooo good. but thank GOD the man with no eyes showed up!!! was starting to think we wouldn't see him again. but literally who the fuck is he

her and tai doing a runner to i think we're alone now😭 really curious to see where the server dying takes us. does the man with no eyes show up when someone's dying???

van and tai both lying about the restaurant/doctors?

i really we do get to see tai as a leader for a bit in the wilderness

coach ben!!!! i love you and i don't want you to die. i fully thought that case of survival stuff he found was a hallucination. could still be? but i hope not cause it'd be so interesting finding out how it got there. could potentially be linked to the tunnels/bunkers etc? him seeming surprised about the cabin burning down..... fully don't think he knew. had he been hiding in the cave when it happened? otherwise he would have seen it.

mari drinking the hot chocolate and ben talking to himself/someone. both hallucinating somewhat? yeah i need to watch this back lol

teen lottie.... slowly becoming one of my favourites. but can you please leave travis alone, i don't think giving him drugs is gonna help. watching that and knowing that his final moment is spent with lottie, trying to connect back to the wilderness... ugh

travis holding his duck 🥺

please let akilah be okay and look after her animals <3

i'll be really annoyed if nothing comes of the cabin burning down (aside from finiding out who did it). i was really hoping they'd go looking through the rubble and find bones or something. i just wanna know more about cabin daddy. literally wasn't even touched upon in season 2?

just remembered the scene in the last season where misty was wanting to reminisce about "that summer" and they all shut her up. this season is going into that summer right???

THE KISS!!!!!! can't wait to see how jackie's brought up in relation to it. did they purposely dress melissa like that? also i just really love melissa's character. yay more melissa!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ARIIII IT IS IIIIII!!!!!!!!! i'm here to bombard you with the very same questions of the question game bc i really wanna hear your answers too!!!!!! so 1. your comfort characters pleaseeee pretty please andd 2. a scenario that you've replayed multiple times please pretty pretty please!!! luv u btw wait also u are 10000% that gojo cover is the most beautiful thing in the world and nobody can tell us otherwise<33333333333

- @catchuuu

MICKEY IT IS YOUUUUUUUU :33 welcome welcome!!!!!! take a seat……. here is your ari delivered pastry and drink 🍩🍵 <- some tea bc it’s late. it’s gonna help you sleep better trust !!

wahhh you’re so sweet to drop in w these…. i had a crisis answering them bc . i am …. indecisive,.,…… but i’ll try just for you :’3

1/ HHHHHHHHHHHHH what is there to say………… you already know a lot of them i think 😭😭 gojo our belovedest ALWAYS makes me happy and suguru too!!! i think gojo is a bit more of a comfort though… sugu makes me pretty sad….. ANDDD ofc kenjaku!!! my silly emotional support queercoded villain. he makes me smile :3 would also throw in nobara bc her existence feels like a warm hug. she’s my Everything. i had a crush on her when i first watched jjk and i will adore her always!!!!!

jjk aside though…… THIS is where i start getting indecisive bc i have too many fandoms to keep track of + my memory is bad :’3 but ummmm um. kunikida is my angel wife!! and reki from sk8 the infinity makes me sooo happy 🥺🥺 (you would LOVE him btw he has the brightest smile ever) ALSO NOYA FROM HQ…… and ryoji from persona 3….. and kazui from milgram… and tsukasa and emu from pj sekai……….

i could mention more but!!! i’ll finish by saying saber and archer from fate/stay night :> saber is the reason i started loving knights and archer is the sexiest man on this planet + the reason i’m into motherly men + voiced by junichi suwabe <3333 the fate series is soooo dear 2 my heart mickey…. my favorites r actually sakura and kirei but they both make me too emotional to be called comfort charas…. same w shirou……. and every single csm character too 😔 sigh .

2/ hhhh this one was . also tough……. :cc since you went w a childhood near-death experience i will do the same >:3 i was almost brutally murdered (<- grave exaggeration) by a cow when i was like . 10…. it might’ve been a bull?? i was too scared to look it in the eye 😞😞

it was raining a bunch right … and there was this lil nature reserve near my house . w a path you could walk up on a hill but also down by a river….. and it was raining sm that the whole thing was just FLOODED. you couldn’t see any of the rocks in the river…. or the grass you could walk on beside it…… so little ari decided to go down there anyway. for the sake of adventure. and i made it to the end of the path to a fence that you could jump over to get to The Normal Road Home .

BUT …. gasp ………. little ari came face to face w a bunch of cows . up on the hill. right by the fence. they were eating the grass and i was scared bc they were fucking HUGE mickey :((( i was shaking n shivering and trying to blend in w my surroundings……… carefully making my way towards the fence that they were kinda blocking.

BUT THEN …. another gasp….. suddenly i was face to face w this One cow/bull and it just stared at me. for a couple seconds. and then it ran right towards me and my childhood instincts kicked in …. so i like. ran down the hill and then back up so i could jump over the fence . and then i was ok :) but ever since that fateful day i’ve been scared of cows….. i can only admire them from afar 😔😔😔😔

hehe these were so fun to answer… ty mickey my angel <333 ALSO SO TRUE SO REAL i knew i could trust you…….. he’s so pretty!!!!!! ig we just have to bear the burden of understanding him better than anyone else …. a heavy burden but. it is what it is <//3

[peachpopfizz]

yk the first couple of episode drops were a bit ehh to me but like.. these two just hit Right. maybe bc i knew what to expect pacing/story wise now? either way, they're def my faves so far, especially ep 5. that's my Favorite favorite :]

spoilers for both eps under the cut, mostly just me blabberin abt what i liked (warning: its alotta alastor)

for ep 5, at first i thought charlastors/radiobelles were winning (and while i don't ship it myself, i was happy for em) but then the realization of 'wait wait wait this isn't romo at all, alastors tryna be a FATHER FIGURE?!' hit instead and i went WILD bc thats 1000% my preferred dynamic for charlie and al. so uh.. yippee dadlastors, sorry charlastors..? gsjahafdaj

also the "Ha! Fuck you." im normal im normal im NORMAL im SOOOO FUCKIN NORMAL (IM CRAZY IM VRAZY I CRAZY IM CRASTY IM FUCKI)

mimzy!! (mimzie??) her intro was abrupt, but she seems like a doll, and her hug with al was real cute. tho i do think she needed that metaphorical kick in the ass abt al's thoughts when it comes to her leeching off his strength for protection. about that..

ALASTOR ACTUALLY CARES. HE CARES. (seemingly, at least). LIKE, HE ACTUALLY LEGITIMATELY, NON-FANONILY, GIVES A DAMN ABT THE HOTEL. HE WENT OUT OF THE WAY TO PROTECT THE PLACE AND TOLD MIMZY TO LEAVE IF SHE DIDN'T COME FOR REDEMPTION. MAYBE ITS IN HIS OWN WEIRD-GUARDED-PETTY WAY BUT FUCK FUCK HOOOLLLYY FUCK ALASTOR CARES

and one more thing b4 i move onto ep 6, i've already seen some ppl comparing what al did to husk in the hall to angel and val's dynamic, and while i do agree the two are both trapped in unsavory deals (loser, baby literally confirms this) i don't think al's ANYWHERE near as bad as val. was what he did fucked up? oh, yes, definitely. but it really?? shouldn't be surprising??? al's in hell ‘n has all this status for a reason, so i was really just waitin for a moment like that to happen. however, it didn't do any lasting damage. at least i really wouldn't say so. most it did was scare the shit out of husk for a minute, nowhere close to what val does to angel on the daily (see: episode 6). tho im willing to admit i might be lookin thru rose colored glasses bc i love al as a character. my opinion might change when/if the actual conditions of al and husks deal are revealed, but as of rn, i think al acted as he did there bc husk attacked a reeeally sensitive subject. he would've just been the petty bitch he always is if husk said like.. anythin else. oh and uhh yeah im abt 85% sure he and lilith have SOMETHING goin on. idk who the hell else would be powerful enough to have alastor on a leash

..oh yeah, lastly, lucifer was cool :] silly silly guy (with lotsa trauma) that hit me right in the daddy issues. funny tho, i rlly dont have much to say abt the guy despite the ep literally being focused on him. his song with charile was spectacular though, i need to listen to it on its own immediately

okokok, episode 6, finally, hopefully shorter than the mess of text above

first off. vaggie = fallen angel theorists, i would like to bow down and apologize for ever doubting you. i was one of the skeptics, i really was, but the show did it in a way that (albeit rushed, but what hasn't been so far?, thaaanks, 8-episode limit..) made it seem believable, with assdam calling her out for it..

but putting adam aside, uh, lute?? maam?? holy fuck, step on me??? please???? i mean uh. sick character design yk ahah ^^

whats her name.. emily? the younger seraphim girl, i liked her, she was a cutie. she really did just seem like heavens version of charlie. and the older seraphim woman i (expectedly) have mixed feelings abt. i feel like all would've be great it adam got outta her damn ear cause she might've actually be down to try the hotel with em gone.. angel was doing so well

speaking of angel, ANGEL!! oh lookit that character development, charlie's gonna be so fuckn proud!!! also, CHERRI!!!! saw someone else say cherris the devil on angels shoulder while husks the (heh) angel, and i have to say i agree. they both want the best for him, they just have different ways of goin about it.

unsurprisingly, fuck Valentino. although i did notice he was wearing a dress today, so. (through gritted teeth) slay.

thiiink that's all i gotta say for today?? besides the fact that next week is gonna be agonizing, ofc :] buckle up ppl we might get a genuine, emotional chaggie fight come next thursday

..oh yeah!! molly!!! we briefly saw molly!!!! i hope youre absolutely thriving girl, you deserve no less <3

[mbrainspaz]

my gay uncle trying to explain to me that reagan wasn't that bad and his whole excuse literally being 'he had a gay friend.' 😶 I am ... how can you be this way when you actually lived through the 80's? I know media wasn't as accessible back then but damn man have you not looked back once? And then he has the nerve to frame ME as the ignorant one?

he was giving me a whole talk about how I can't just shut people out of my life for 'disagreeing with me.' (Because he wants me to unblock my transphobic mom because us not talking anymore is making everyone else soooo uncomfortable.) Ugh. 0/10 worst entire conversation I've had recently. He even tried the 'trans people don't deserve the same rights [as us gay guys] because they didn't even exist in the public discourse until recently' bullshit. When I mentioned the story of the trans research from 1930's Germany that was destroyed by the nazis he acted like I was trying to make the holocaust about trans people instead of jews. Not even??? Incredibly disingenuous. When I brought up literary sources he actually got upset and exclaimed that I should read some book about how Fauci is evil. I laughed like... 'okay.' "People only read things they agree with!" he exclaimed triumphantly as if I hadn't just agreed to read it. "Do you know how many right wing conservative christian books I've read? That's how I learned to think critically about what I read, take it apart, and refute it." That kinda took the wind out of his sails but I don't feel like I got through to him at all.

In another attempt to excuse his politics he tried the 'all politicians are evil' discourse so I talked about the minimization of harm and actual harm inflicted by candidates he probably voted for. He jumped that track so fast. Yeah I can see why he wouldn't wanna think too hard about that. He might... I dunno... have to shift his worldview to actually consider the needy and marginalized.

Over and over he kept trying to frame everything as my fault for 'playing the victim.' and 'being too polarized.' I gave the criticism earnest consideration but nah, it doesn't track. I mean I am polarized but in a standing for something so I won't fall for anything kinda way. He tried to say I was making myself the victim by letting my dad kick me out during the pandemic—said it was my fault for saying I was going to vote for Biden. Mmmkay. So I one-upped him by saying 'actually I knew moving in with my folks was my mistake from day one when my dad refused to let me pay rent. That was totally on me and all I've done is deal with the consequences ever since.' (A thing I've been saying since 2018. And it's silly anyway because my dad actually kicked me out like 4 months prior to that incident for refusing to give up any of my animals to a shelter because he believed it was their fault the AC in my apartment kept breaking [the AC broke again months after I moved out—it was a shitty AC]).

It sucks because deep down I know he still loves Reagan and stays right wing because they're the ones who made him rich. It doesn't matter that they would've rejoiced at his death back then. Even that Reagan effectively tried to kill him with gross negligence. I know that to get rich you can't afford to get hung up on the cost. I know we're each standing in vastly different moral landscapes shaped by our learning and our struggles or lack thereof. I'm pretty sure he doesn't see that. He just knows that I'm wrong so he keeps blindly tossing darts hoping he hits a target that proves he's right about me.

He kept saying something like 'I can love and respect people who disagree with me on all kinds of things. Even people who hate my lifestyle.' —as if I'm not doing exactly that by being here in his house, helping him cook pans of lasagna and potato salad for a bunch of my conservative relatives who are about to spend 24 hours belligerently misgendering me and who I know have voted for candidates up and down every ballot who're actively working to take my rights away & keep me trapped in poverty.

Look, I went in to this conversation desperately wanting any answer that would help me understand his take on this kind of thing. I wanted so badly for him to have a memory of some important historical event that I just wan't aware of yet. I also want to understand how he's been able to forgive the family who treated him so poorly when he came out. Nada. It's always just follow the money. I still hope he'll talk about his own views more (without attacking me) so that I can understand him better, because I still want to think better of him. Because I can and I do love so many people who persecute me. Anyway a little bit later he asked us not to bring up his partner's real estate buying business because the market is 'looking grim'. My hasn't-been-able-to-afford-rent-since-2017-ass was over there going, 'oh noooo that's gotta be so haaaard for him. Lemme just cry a single tear while I'm dicing this onion with one of your new $3000 knives.'

[pdriesta]

CHAPTER EIGHT

“baby, i'm talkin' crazy, i need you right in my space"

pairing — trentxblack!r&b artist

tropes — fake dating, enemies-to-lovers

warnings — sexual tension, toxic relationships, mature themes (minors dni)

word count — 12k

summary — y/n, a rising r&b star, is stuck in toxic situationships, with tabloids constantly overshadowing her music. to fix her image, her team pushes her into a fake relationship with liverpool’s trent alexander-arnold. both reluctant, they soon realize keeping things strictly business isn't so simple. will pretending to be in love stay a game, or turn into something real?

an — the longest chapter yet!

masterlist

the sun was dipping lower in the sky, casting a golden glow across the garden as the rehearsal kicked off. the coordinator’s voice echoed over the light hum of conversation, directing bridesmaids and groomsmen into their pairs. y/n was busy adjusting her dress when a deep voice interrupted her thoughts.

“looks like we’re stuck with each other.”

she glanced up to find rome, a cousin of cash’s, standing there, a lazy grin on his face. tall, dark, and effortlessly handsome, he looked like he’d walked straight out of a magazine—clean-cut with broad shoulders and a voice smooth enough to convince anyone to break the rules.

“i’m not so sure you can keep up,” y/n shot back, crossing her arms with a playful smile.

rome chuckled, his dimple flashing. “oh, i can keep up. the real question is whether you can handle me.”

“you’re awfully confident for someone who just met me.”

“i like to live on the edge.” he held out his arm, wiggling his eyebrows. “shall we?”

“we shall,” she said, slipping her arm through his.

they made their way down the makeshift aisle, taking exaggerated, overly dramatic steps just to get a laugh. by the time they reached the end, rome was twirling her in slow motion, earning cheers from the bridal party.

“wow,” y/n said, catching her breath. “that was… something.”

“something great, you mean.” rome tapped his temple. “i’ve got a natural flair for this kind of thing.”

“right,” y/n teased, “because every wedding needs someone to steal the spotlight.”

“exactly,” rome said with a wink. “you and me? we’re the stars of this show.”

the next part of the rehearsal was the reception entrance practice, which gave them even more license to goof around. rome took full advantage, pulling y/n into a ridiculous cha-cha step, then lifting her for a spin like they were in some low-budget rom-com.

“okay, okay, put me down!” she laughed, clutching his shoulders.

“admit it,” he said, finally setting her back on the ground. “we’d be unstoppable on a dance floor.”

“fine,” she said, catching her breath. “you’re not terrible.”

rome placed a hand over his heart, pretending to be wounded. “not terrible? wow, way to humble a man.”

for a moment, she forgot about everything outside of this bubble—the rehearsal, the silly banter, the easy connection with rome. it felt like a rare moment of freedom, something light and uncomplicated.

but as soon as the laughter faded, the thought crept back in. trent.

it was always there, lurking at the edges of her happiness like an unwelcome guest. no matter how much fun she was having, something about rome’s charm couldn’t quite stick. it was like her heart refused to make room for anyone else.

after the rehearsal ended, y/n found herself sitting on a bench with zaia, their heels kicked off and the hum of conversation fading into the background.

“soooo,” zaia said, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “rome’s cute.”

“he’s alright,” y/n said, playing it cool.

“girl, alright? he’s fine, and he was all over you. if you don’t lock that down, i just might.”

y/n rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at her lips. “he’s fun, but…”

“but what?”

“i don’t know.” she paused, picking at the hem of her dress. “it’s like there’s something holding me back. i keep thinking maybe it’s not about finding the right person—it’s about letting myself feel something for someone who isn’t…”

zaia leaned in, eyebrows raised. “trent?”

y/n pressed her lips together, refusing to confirm or deny it. “we’re not even… anything.”

“yeah, but you’re not nothing, either,” zaia pointed out. “and until you figure out what that means, you’re just gonna keep scaring off every rome that comes your way.”

“ugh, you’re the worst,” y/n muttered, burying her face in her hands.

“i’m the best, and you know it.” zaia grinned, patting her shoulder. “besides, rome’s not going anywhere. he’ll be at the wedding, ready to dance for your heart, if you change your mind”

trent stood at the edge of the training pitch, hands on his hips, trying to focus on the drill in front of him. but his mind wandered—again. his touches were off, passes slightly delayed, the rhythm of the session broken because he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

y/n.

it had been over a week since they properly spoke, her texts short and sporadic. busy with the wedding stuff, she said. it wasn’t like her to be so distant, but the wedding preparations were demanding, and he tried not to take it personally. still, the quiet in their usual conversations made him restless, left him craving the way her laugh made everything feel lighter. the way she always knew what to say, even when he didn’t.

now, he missed her in a way that ached more than it should’ve. it wasn’t just the silence that bothered him—it was the feeling of being left on the sidelines, watching her life carry on without him while he waited for her to invite him back in.

“trent, bro, what was that?” dom called from across the pitch, jogging over with a grin that was too knowing for trent’s liking. “you trying to pass to the other team now?”

trent blinked, realizing he’d just misfired an easy pass straight into one of the cones. “shut up, man,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“nah, nah, you don’t get off that easy,” dom teased, nudging him. “what’s going on with you? you’ve been off all morning. you sick? hungover?”

“i’m fine,” trent said, a little too quickly.

dom squinted at him, smirking. “ohhh, i see what this is. it’s girl trouble, isn’t it?”

“it’s not girl trouble.”

“so it is a girl,” dom said, crossing his arms. “let me guess… y/n?”

trent’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t bother denying it. dom was one of the few who knew how close they were.

“mate,” dom said, lowering his voice, “just call her.”

“she’s busy,” trent replied, kicking at the ground. “i don’t wanna be that guy, bothering her while she’s got all this wedding stuff going on.”

“but you’re gonna keep sulking like a lovesick teenager instead?” dom raised an eyebrow. “sounds like a solid plan, bro.”

trent sighed, running a hand through his hair. what was the point in calling if she didn’t want to talk?

he’d thought about it—about picking up the phone and telling her how much he missed her, how weird it felt not to hear from her. but every time, the words got stuck in his throat. because what if it was just him? what if she didn’t miss him the same way?

“just… give her time,” dom said, clapping him on the back. “she’ll come around. she always does, right?”

trent nodded, but the doubt lingered. he could wait, sure—but waiting didn’t make the silence any easier.

and as the session wrapped up, his mind wandered back to her again.

the way her eyes lit up when she was excited.

the sound of her laugh when she thought something was really funny.

the way her presence alone made everything feel warmer, better, more right.

he just wanted that back.

trent tapped his fingers against the steering wheel as he pulled out of the training grounds, freshly showered, the sharp scent of his body wash still lingering in the air. his windows were down just enough to let the breeze slip in, the hum of the city filling the quiet. but none of it drowned out the thoughts spinning in his head.

he had made it through training, barely. dom’s teasing and knowing smirks were still fresh in his mind—he hadn’t even denied it. couldn’t. because, yeah, he was distracted. had been for days now.

and all because of her.

she’d been distant lately, caught up with the wedding preparations. he told himself that was all it was. it’s not like she’s avoiding you, mate. she was busy, and he respected that. but still, the way his phone stayed silent stung more than he liked to admit.

he had missed her before, sure, but this felt different. heavier. like something unspoken was sitting between them, growing wider every day.

trent exhaled sharply as he turned onto the street leading to his house, his phone lighting up on the passenger seat. no new messages. no missed calls. it was enough to make his chest tighten again.

before he could talk himself out of it, he reached for his phone at the next red light, his thumb hovering over her name.

just call her. it’s not that deep.

but it was.

his hand lingered, his pulse racing with something he couldn’t quite name. the urge to call her pressed down on him, hard. the thought of hearing her voice, even for a few seconds, tugged at him like gravity.

he tapped her name, the line connecting as he drove, his grip tightening on the wheel with every ring.

once. twice. his heart inched up his throat.

three. four. he felt it in his chest—how much he wanted her to answer. how much he needed her to know.

five times. no answer.

then came the familiar click, her voicemail greeting, soft and impersonal.

trent stayed silent for a moment, the phone pressed to his ear, the weight of disappointment settling deep in his chest. he could say something. leave a message, trent. say anything.

but no words came.

he ended the call and dropped his phone on the seat beside him, the ache blooming in his chest almost suffocating. the radio played softly, but he didn’t hear it. his mind was elsewhere, replaying the sound of the dial tone like it meant something.

maybe it did. maybe it was telling him what he was too stubborn to admit—that she was slipping through his fingers. that this distance wasn’t something he could fix with a phone call.

or maybe you’re just too late.

he rolled into his driveway, sitting in the car longer than he should have, staring at his phone. part of him wanted to call again. the other part wasn’t sure he could take hearing that dial tone twice in one night.

so he didn’t.

instead, he leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes and trying to convince himself that this was for the best. but deep down, he knew that was a lie.

because no matter how much he tried to let her go, it always came back to her. always.

trent arrived at the wedding venue late in the afternoon, his bag slung over his shoulder. he barely took in the grandeur of the place; his only thought was find her.

his steps were quick, his eyes scanning the grounds until they landed on her. y/n stood near one of the arches, clipboard in hand, dressed in sweatpants and a cropped tank, her braids pulled into a loose bun. she was mid-conversation with the wedding planner, her brows furrowed in concentration as she gestured toward a table arrangement.

the castle looked like it had been pulled from the pages of a storybook, perched on a cliff with the ocean stretching endlessly behind it. the late afternoon sun bathed everything in a warm, golden light, casting a soft glow over the cobblestone paths and ivy-covered walls. y/n stood near the entrance archway, clipboard in hand, dressed casually in sweatpants and a tank top, but somehow still managing to look effortlessly beautiful. she was deep in conversation with the wedding planner, her voice calm but determined as she gave instructions, her brows furrowed in focus.

trent stood off to the side, taking her in for a moment longer than he should have. god, how he missed this—the way she got lost in her work, the way she moved with quiet confidence.

he couldn’t help himself. with quick strides, he closed the distance between them, wrapping an arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to the side of her neck.

she jumped, spinning around in surprise. “oh my goodness, trent!”

he chuckled, his arm staying firmly around her waist. “sorry,” he murmured, his lips brushing close to her ear. “couldn’t help it. i missed you.”

she rolled her eyes, but her smile betrayed her. “it’s only been a week.”

“a week too long,” he replied, his voice low and warm. “how are you holding up?”

“honestly? overwhelmed,” she admitted, her shoulders sagging just slightly. “i thought a year would be enough time to get everything done, but there’s still so much to do. i just want everything to be perfect for zaia.”

“it will be,” he reassured her, his hand gently rubbing her back. “you’re already the best friend and maid of honor she could ask for. everything’s going to be amazing.”

before she could respond, a voice called from behind them.

“y/n! there you are.”

trent turned to see a tall, dark-skinned man approaching with an iced matcha latte in his hand. he was dressed casually in tailored joggers and a crisp white tee, his confident stride and easy smile making him impossible to miss.

rome stopped in front of them, holding out the drink. “matcha latte—oat milk, light ice, one pump of vanilla. just how you like it.” he winked. “don’t say i never pay attention.”

y/n grinned, taking the drink from him. “thanks, rome.” she turned to trent, gesturing between them. “trent, this is rome, the best man. rome, this is trent.”

rome extended his hand with a charming grin. “ah, trent. finally, we meet. i’ve heard a lot about you.”

trent shook his hand, his grip firm. “all good things, i hope.”

rome chuckled. “mostly. she’s mentioned how you like to be… protective.” his eyes flicked back to y/n. “but don’t worry, mate. i’ve been looking after her.”

trent’s jaw tightened slightly. “appreciate that.”

but rome wasn’t done. he turned back to y/n, his smile widening. “we’ve been partners in crime through this whole wedding prep. i think we make a solid team, don’t you?”

“the best,” y/n agreed with a laugh.

rome nudged her playfully. “though i will say, you’re struggling to keep up with my moves. maybe we need to rehearse that reception dance one more time so you don’t embarrass us both.”

she gasped in mock offense, nudging him back. “me? embarrass you? please. i’m carrying this whole routine.”

“oh, is that right?” rome teased, leaning in just slightly. “guess we’ll see then.”

trent stood silently, watching the interaction, his eyes narrowing. something in his chest twisted, sharp and unwelcome. he didn’t like the way rome was leaning in, the easy familiarity between them.

he tried to tell himself it was nothing. just playful banter. but then rome’s hand brushed lightly against y/n’s arm, and that was it.

he cleared his throat, his voice calm but leaving no room for debate. “y/n, why don’t you show me where our room is? you could use some rest before things get even busier.”

rome’s eyebrows shot up at the emphasis on our room, but he didn’t comment.

y/n glanced between them, sensing the tension. “yeah… you’re probably right.” she turned to rome, giving him a small smile. “i’ll see you later, okay?”

rome winked. “don’t keep me waiting too long, partner.”

trent didn’t glance back as he guided her toward the castle, his hand resting possessively on the small of her back. his mind was racing, heart pounding harder than it should have been.

she glanced up at him as they walked. “everything okay?”

“yeah,” he said, voice tight. but the truth was, it wasn’t. because for the first time in a while, he wasn’t sure where he stood. and he hated that feeling.

the room was quiet except for the soft rustling of fabric and the low hum of the air conditioning. y/n was standing in front of the mirror, adjusting her dress for the rehearsal dinner. it was the first time she’d had a moment to herself all day, but she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something was off between her and trent. he had been distant, colder than usual, and it was driving her crazy.

she looked up at him, glancing over her shoulder as he struggled to tie his cufflinks. “how do i look?” she asked, her voice casual, but the words came out a little softer than she’d intended. she hoped he’d offer a compliment, anything to break the tension that had been building since they arrived.

trent didn’t immediately respond. instead, he adjusted his cufflinks with a focused expression, his back to her. he looked at himself in the mirror for a moment, then back down at his wrist, fidgeting with the fabric of his shirt. “you look fine,” he said, his tone distant.

y/n blinked, taken aback by how short his answer was. she’d expected more than that. the coldness in his voice stung, even though she tried not to let it show.

“i asked how i look, trent, not just that i look ‘fine,’” she pressed, crossing her arms in the mirror, studying his reflection as she spoke. “are you gonna just ignore me the entire evening, or do you actually want to have a conversation?”

he shifted slightly, his jaw tightening, but still didn’t turn to face her. his voice came out low, irritated. “i don’t feel like talking right now, y/n.”

that was it. she could feel her patience snapping in that moment. he wasn’t being himself, and she didn’t deserve to be brushed off like this—not by him, especially not tonight. not when everything had been so perfect just a few days ago.

“are you serious right now?” y/n asked, her voice rising slightly. “you’ve been acting like this all day. hot and cold, trent. this isn’t me, and it’s sure as hell not you.”

there was a pause before he spoke again, his words clipped. “i don’t want to talk about it, y/n. especially not with you.”

the words landed hard. y/n felt a pang of hurt, quickly smothered by rising anger. the way he dismissed her like that, especially with the way things had been going between them, made her blood boil. she hadn’t expected an easy answer, but the flatness in his voice was more than she could take.

“you don’t want to talk about it especially with me?” she asked, incredulous. “what the hell does that even mean, trent?”

she could see him stiffen in the mirror, his shoulders tense as if he was holding something back. but he still wouldn’t turn to face her, and that only made her frustration build. “this attitude of yours is ridiculous,” she snapped, “you can’t just shut me out and expect me to sit here while you brood in silence. you know better than that.”

there was a brief silence before he spoke again, but this time, his tone wasn’t harsh, just… empty. “i don’t have the energy to for this right now.”

y/n shook her head, her lips pressed together tightly. she had tried to keep it together, but now she was done.

“if you don’t want to talk, fine,” she said, her voice tight with anger. “but i’m not going to sit here and be treated like this.” she grabbed her bag from the bed and turned toward the door. “when you sort your attitude out, maybe we can talk. until then, don’t even bother.”

she paused at the door for a moment, turning back slightly. “and just so we’re clear—you’re not gonna ruin my best friend’s day. i’ve got a million things to do, and i’m not waiting around for you to figure out your feelings.”

with that, she left the room, the sound of her heels clicking sharply against the floor. she didn’t even hear him call out as she walked away, her frustration too heavy to bear any more of this cold silence.

trent stood frozen for a long moment, the weight of her words sinking in. he had wanted to say something, but the words had stuck in his throat, and now it was too late. he felt stupid, frustrated with himself for pushing her away like that. but he couldn’t find the right words—he wasn’t even sure if he could find the right words.

he turned to face the mirror again, his reflection staring back at him. a part of him hated how much he cared, how much he wanted to fix things between them. but all he had managed to do was make things worse.

and now, he was alone in the silence.

the dinner was everything it was meant to be—warm, joyous, filled with love in every corner of the grand hall. fairy lights cascaded from the vaulted ceiling, the golden glow casting everything in a dreamlike haze. the tables were lined with candles and soft floral arrangements, the dance floor already packed with guests swaying to the live band’s melody. laughter rang through the space, glasses clinked in toasts, and at the heart of it all was zaia and cash, glowing with happiness.

but trent wasn’t watching them.

he was watching her.

even though they were seated together at the head table, it felt like he hadn’t had a second with her all night. y/n had been whisked away for maid of honor duties the moment they arrived, moving through the room like she belonged to everyone, not just to him.

and how could she not?

she was magnetic. not because of her fame, not because of who she was to the world, but because of her heart.

he watched as aunties pulled her into hugs, kissing her cheeks like she was their own daughter. she crouched beside a grandma, gently touching up her lipstick with careful hands, whispering something that made the woman laugh and squeeze her wrist in thanks. she adjusted an auntie’s hair, fixed a crooked necklace, dashed back and forth to help zaia, all while making sure cash didn’t have a meltdown about whether or not everything was going smoothly.

she was in her element.

caring for people. pouring into them. making everything easier, softer.

trent knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of that kind of care, and the thought made something tighten in his chest.

the mc took the stage, and the chatter in the hall quieted to murmurs. with a wide grin, he introduced the couple and their respected family, prompting the guests to turn their attention to the middle of the room.

zaia, radiant in her pristine gown, turned to cash as he pulled her close, whispering something in her ear that made her beam.

trent saw the way y/n watched them from the side of the stage, her hands clasped in front of her, likely running over the words to her speech in her head.

but he also saw the way the soft lighting caught in her eyes, the way something tender and aching rested beneath her expression.

he knew what that feeling was. yearning. longing

when it was finally her turn, the mc barely finished saying her name before the entire room erupted into cheers. trent sat forward as she took the mic, rolling her eyes playfully at the crowd before shaking her head.

“alright, alright,” she laughed, glancing at zaia, who was already dabbing at her eyes. “don’t start crying yet, or i’ll never make it through this.”

the guests chuckled, settling in.

y/n exhaled, steadying herself before speaking.

“i don’t really know where to start,” she admitted, eyes flickering between the bride and groom. “i feel like there aren’t enough words to describe how much these two mean to me.”

she paused, letting the weight of her words settle.

y/n took a moment to gather her thoughts, the warmth of the room settling over her as she looked at cash and zaia, both of them smiling up at her. she cleared her throat and smiled softly, a little more at ease now that she had gotten through the emotional part.

“you see, everyone knows me as the third wheel in this dynamic,” y/n started, her tone playful as she gestured to the two of them. “but what most people don’t know is that we didn’t start off this way. no, we met back in school—zaia and i were already seatmates, sharing laughs over the most random things, but then… a boy decided to turn our duo into a trio. i’m sure i can guess what you all are thinking, and yes, he was that boy—cash.”

there were a few chuckles around the room, and y/n winked as she went on. “and let me tell you, our first impression of him wasn’t exactly great.” she paused for dramatic effect, shaking her head with a grin. “he was the quiet kid, always acting like he knew more than us. but little did we know, that boy would change our lives in ways we never imagined.”

she caught cash’s amused expression as he shook his head, and the room laughed along with her. “but seriously, though,” she continued, her voice growing more sincere as she looked between cash and zaia, “there is no feeling quite like watching your best friends fall in love. and for me, i had the privilege to witness it—not just once, but twice. with both of them.”

there was a shift in her tone, soft and thoughtful. “it’s terrifying, honestly. because you don’t want them to get hurt. but in the same breath, you can’t help but be in awe of how effortlessly they love each other, how deeply they care. and that’s something that teaches you so much about what a relationship should look like. it’s not always perfect, but it’s real. and it’s beautiful.”

y/n smiled warmly at zaia, then turned her attention to cash, her voice full of affection. “cash… you are the older brother i always wanted. you’ve been a protector, a safe place, a provider of tough love—sometimes too tough, but i won’t call you out in front of all these people.”

the room filled with laughter, and cash gave her a knowing smile, shaking his head as if he expected that line to come. “but in all seriousness,” y/n added, her tone softening, “the way you love zaia, the way you take care of her… it’s something i’ve always admired. and it doesn’t just stop with her. it extends to all of us. to me.”

y/n took a deep breath, her chest tightening with emotion as she continued. “i can’t count the number of times you’ve reminded me of my worth when i forgot it myself. you’ve always been in my corner, and i’ll never take that for granted.”

cash’s jaw clenched, emotion flashing in his eyes as he nodded at her, his own way of saying i love you too.

y/n took a deep breath, letting the quiet settle over the room before she spoke again, her eyes locking onto zaia. the words that had been swirling in her heart finally found their way out, each one heavier than the last.

“zaia…” she swallowed, blinking up at the ceiling before smiling. “you are my sister. not by blood, but by something even stronger. there’s no one in this world who knows me like you do. you’ve seen every version of me—every mistake, every heartbreak, every high and low—and you’ve never once made me feel like i had to be anything other than myself.”

her chest tightened as she watched zaia’s eyes glisten, and she fought to keep her own tears in check. she had to finish, had to get these words out, because they were real—everything she was saying was real.

“you’ve taught me what it means to love without limits. your love is never conditional. never quiet. it’s fierce. it’s unapologetic. and i’ve seen how that love has shaped you into the incredible woman standing in front of me today. but even more, i’ve seen how that love has shaped me. it’s made me braver. it’s made me stronger. because of you, i believe in myself more than i ever thought i could.”

zaia’s lip quivered, her hand clutching y/n’s as she whispered, “i love you.”

“i love you too, more than you’ll ever know,” y/n whispered back, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall. “and i’ve never told you this enough, but you are my rock. when everything else in my life felt uncertain, you’ve been the one constant. when the world told me i wasn’t enough, you were the one who made me feel like i was. i’ve never met anyone like you, zaia. you are the heart of everything good. you make everyone around you better. stronger. kinder. you’ve taught me that love doesn’t have to be perfect to be real. you are proof of that. every day. in every little thing you do.”

y/n took a breath, trying to steady herself, but her voice broke a little. “and for everything you are… for everything you’ve done for me, and everyone who’s lucky enough to know you… i’ll always be grateful. i’ll always be here, standing by you, just like you’ve stood by me.”

zaia’s hand covered her mouth as she wiped her tears, her emotions so raw it was as if she were hearing these words for the very first time. “thank you,” zaia whispered, voice trembling.

“so this is to you, my sister. my best friend. my family.” meeting zaia’s gaze with a smile. “may you and cash continue to show the world what love really is. the kind that doesn’t need to be perfect to be beautiful, the kind that is always worth fighting for. i’m so proud of you, zaia. i hope you know that.”

the room was silent for a moment, all eyes on the two of them as they held each other in a long, tight embrace. y/n squeezed her best friend, knowing that no matter what came their way, this bond—this love—would always be unbreakable.

zaia sniffled, shaking her head like she couldn’t believe she was about to cry in front of everyone.

“you are love, in every sense of the word. and i am so lucky to have you in my life.”

y/n let out a breathy laugh, clearing her throat.

“together, you two are… proof,” she said softly, her eyes shining. “proof that real love exists. that it’s not perfect, but it’s worth it. that it’s something to fight for, to cherish, to protect. and every day, you remind me that love is possible.”

there was a quiet, meaningful pause as the room fell into a deep silence, and y/n looked up at both zaia and cash, her heart full. “so this is to you both, the couple who has taught me what it means to love fiercely and with no limits. to the couple who makes me believe in the possibility of love every single day.” she raised her glass higher, her eyes shining with sincerity. “may your love always be this strong, this unshakable, and may it inspire everyone around you, just like it’s inspired me.”

the room was silent now, everyone hanging onto her words.

trent was too.

his throat felt tight.

because she wasn’t just talking about them.

she was talking about herself.

y/n blinked quickly, laughing as she shook her head. “okay, i need to stop before i start sobbing, and cash will never let me live it down. to zaia and cash!”

the room erupted into cheers and applause, people clinking their glasses as zaia pulled y/n into a tight hug, whispering something in her ear that made her nod quickly, like she was trying to hold herself together.

trent could only stare.

his head was spinning.

because in that moment, as she stood there—emotional, open, her heart laid bare—he realized something he should’ve known all along.

he was in love with her.

so in love, it scared him.

the rehearsal dinner had been perfect. the kind of night people dream about, full of laughter, love, and overwhelming joy. y/n had given her speech, standing before everyone with a smile that was both proud and sentimental, her voice steady as she spoke about zaia and cash. about their love, their story, their future.

trent had watched her the whole time, barely listening to her words because he was too caught up in the way she made him feel. how, for the first time, something clicked deep in his chest—an understanding he hadn’t quite reached before. he was in love with her. hopelessly, stupidly, entirely in love with her.

but there was also something else, something darker, eating at him. something that had started at the rehearsal and hadn’t let up all night. rome.

rome, who had been at her side. rome, who had made her laugh. rome, who had his hand at the small of her back when they danced, his lips too close to her ear when he whispered something to make her smile. it had been driving trent mad, twisting inside him, tightening like a fist in his chest.

by the time they entered their suite. trent couldn’t shake his feelings of discomfort. not just a rome but his fear of wanting more with y/n. she stood on their shared bathroom in front of the mirror, fingers unclasping her necklace with slow, measured movements. the reception had been everything she hoped for—emotional, beautiful, a perfect night for her best friend. but as she stood here now, in the quiet of the suite, she felt an ache she couldn’t quite name.

trent was somewhere behind her, freshly changed out of his suit, moving around with an energy that felt… restless. he hadn’t spoken much since they got back. not in the car. not when they walked through the grand hallway of the castle. not when she disappeared into the bathroom to wipe off her makeup.

the tension between them had been brewing for weeks, simmering just beneath the surface. and she wasn’t about to be the one to address it.

she reached up to take out her earrings, catching his reflection as he came closer. her fingers stilled.

he was watching her.

his gaze was heavy, dark.

she swallowed, keeping her expression blank as she met his eyes in the mirror. “what?”

trent didn’t answer. he just kept looking, his head tilting slightly, like he was studying her.

y/n exhaled, forcing a small smirk. “you got something to say, or are you just gonna keep staring?”

still, nothing.

he reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head with one swift movement, and she hated the way her eyes betrayed her, flickering down over the sharp lines of his torso, the familiar ink that stretched over his skin.

she tore her gaze away quickly, focusing on the clasp of her bracelet instead. “whatever, trent,” she muttered, pretending she wasn’t affected, pretending like she didn’t feel the heat of his stare seep into her skin.

but then he moved.

before she could react, his hands were on her hips, his body pressing against her back, firm and warm. his head dipped, breath fanning against the curve of her neck, and she knew what was coming before his lips even touched her.

“you really wanna act like you don’t want this?” trent murmured, his voice low, rough, dangerous.

her breath caught.

his mouth brushed against the sensitive spot beneath her ear, his fingers tightening at her waist. “you think i don’t see it?” he whispered, trailing soft, maddening kisses down her neck. “the way you look at me when you think i don’t notice? the way you let me get this close, even when you swear you won’t?”

she let out a shaky exhale, hands gripping the vanity. “you’re delusional,” she said, but the words came out weak, breathless.

trent hummed against her skin. “am i?”

his teeth grazed her shoulder, just enough to send a shiver down her spine.

her fingers curled into fists. “trent.”

“say you don’t want me.” he kissed up her neck, slow, deliberate. “say you don’t want this, and i’ll stop.”

her heart pounded. she should say it. she should lie.

but when she opened her mouth, nothing came out.

trent smirked, pressing one last lingering kiss to her jaw before pulling back just enough to look at her reflection in the mirror. “that’s what i thought.”

y/n’s resolve shattered.

she turned in his hold, fisting the fabric of his joggers, yanking him down into a kiss that was all teeth and desperation. trent groaned into her mouth, one hand tangling in her hair, the other gripping her thigh to pull her impossibly closer.

whatever fight she had left was long gone.

she’d deal with the consequences later.

the sex was urgent, desperate—like something they were both trying to prove. she could feel it in the way he touched her, rougher than usual, and she matched it, gripping at him just as hard, taking everything he gave her because she wanted to believe it meant something. she needed to believe it.

but then it was over.

trent pulled away first. he always did. rolled onto his back, running a hand over his face like he was already regretting it, like the fire between them had burned out the second he got what he wanted.

y/n turned onto her side, still catching her breath. she wanted to say something, wanted to reach for him, but then he spoke first.

“so,” trent exhaled, his tone sharp, bitter, “are you gonna run off to rome now?”

she froze, her stomach dropping instantly.“what?” she breathed, turning her head to look at him.

trent scoffed, shaking his head as he sat up, running a hand through his hair. “don’t play dumb, y/n,” he muttered. “you think i don’t see the way he looks at you? the way you look at him?”

her jaw clenched. “what the hell are you talking about?”

he let out a cold laugh, finally meeting her gaze, and there was something in his eyes that made her chest tighten. “you want him, don’t you?”

y/n felt something snap inside her. “you’re insane,” she bit out, sitting up too, gripping the sheets around her. “how the hell did we go from this to whatever delusional shit you’re spewing right now?”

trent leaned in slightly, eyes narrowing. “because it’s obvious,” he said lowly. “you act like this is just some accident every time, but then you turn around and let him all over you? so what is it? am i just a backup? placeholder until you get the next guy you want”

the words stung so deeply she physically flinched.

she shook her head, anger and disbelief swirling inside her. “you’re disgusting,” she whispered, voice shaking. “i don’t know why i keep letting you do this to me.”

he huffed out another humorless laugh, looking away. “yeah?” he muttered, jaw tight. “well, maybe if you stopped opening your legs for me, we wouldn’t have this problem.”

as his words fell, so did the temperature of the room.

silence. thick, suffocating silence.

trent realized it the second the words left his mouth, but it was too late. the damage was done.

y/n just stared at him, her entire body going numb. she felt sick, like all the air had been knocked out of her lungs.

she had no words. nothing to say to that.

slowly, she reached for the silk robe on top of her bridesmaid’s pajamas, slipping it over her shoulders. she wouldn’t cry. not in front of him. not after that.

trent sat up quickly, his expression shifting. “y/n—”

“don’t,” she cut him off, her voice eerily calm. “not this times just don’t.”

he watched helplessly as she slipped on her slippers, grabbing her phone, avoiding his gaze entirely. he felt it—felt her slipping away, and he didn’t know how to stop it.

she walked to the door, gripping the handle so tightly her knuckles turned white. then, without another word, she walked out, leaving him alone in the mess he created.

zaia opened the door almost instantly, rubbing sleep from her eyes. “y/n?” she mumbled, blinking in confusion. “what’s wrong?”

zaia held her tightly as y/n buried her face into her best friend’s shoulder, trying desperately to stifle her sobs, but it was no use. she let out a shaky breath, then another, and before she knew it, she was crying in earnest, her shoulders shaking as she let everything out. zaia didn’t say a word, just held her, offering the comfort that y/n needed but hadn’t known she was craving.

after what felt like an eternity, y/n pulled away, wiping at her eyes and trying to steady her breath. “i’m sorry,” she managed, her voice hoarse. “i shouldn’t be crying about this. it’s your wedding day, i—”

“respectfully, shut up,” zaia cut in, her tone firm but full of love. “any time, any place, any situation. i got you. you’re my sister. and you’re obviously hurt, so don’t you dare apologize for that.” zaia sat down on the bed, pulling y/n with her. “tell me what you need, sis. i’m here, always.”

y/n took a deep breath, trying to hold back more tears, but they came anyway. she wiped at her face and let out a small, bitter laugh. “i don’t even know anymore,” she admitted, her voice breaking. “i feel like i’m losing myself. like, in monaco, everything just changed. i thought i was doing okay. i really did.” her voice trembled as she spoke, and zaia’s heart broke for her best friend.

“monaco?” zaia asked, her voice soft but curious.

y/n took a deep breath, her voice shaking slightly as she finally allowed herself to speak the truth. “zaia, i… i need to tell you something. something i’ve been carrying since monaco. trent and i, we… we slept together for the first time.”

zaia’s eyes widened, but she didn’t interrupt, her focus solely on y/n as she continued.

“i knew i liked him. i always have, but that night in monaco, it felt like everything was finally coming together. i thought it meant something, zaia. i really did. but then, he made it clear it was just… just sex.” y/n’s voice broke as she spoke, the weight of the words crushing her from the inside. “and i’ve never felt more worthless in my life. he made me feel like i didn’t matter at all. like i was just something to pass the time with. i knew, deep down, he didn’t care the way i did. but hearing him say it… it just… it broke me.”

zaia sat up straighter, her face softening with understanding. “y/n,” she said, her voice gentle but firm. “you are loved. don’t you dare let him make you feel otherwise.” she held y/n’s gaze, the warmth of her sincerity radiating from her. “i love you. cash loves you. we all do. you are worth so much more than how he treated you.”

y/n wiped at her eyes, trying to stifle the tears that threatened to spill again. “i know, but it doesn’t stop how he made me feel. like i wasn’t even worthy of being more than a fleeting moment to him.”

zaia took a deep breath, leaning in as she spoke with a quiet conviction. “he can’t wrap his head around his own feelings, y/n. he’s messed up. and the way he treated you, it’s not a reflection of who you are. it’s all on him.”

y/n looked down at her hands, wringing them in her lap as she let zaia’s words sink in. “i tried to move on from it, but i couldn’t. it’s like… no matter how much i wanted to convince myself it didn’t matter, it did. every time he pulls away, every time he acts like it’s nothing… it just feels like a dagger in my chest. i’ve been walking around, pretending to be fine, but it’s eating me up inside.”

zaia’s eyes softened as the realization hit her like a wave. she placed her hand gently on y/n’s shoulder, a quiet understanding passing between them. “that’s why you disappeared after monaco,” zaia murmured, her heart breaking for her best friend. “you isolated yourself because you didn’t know how to deal with all of this. you didn’t want to face it, and you felt like you had no one to turn to. i’m so sorry you went through all of that alone, y/n. i should’ve noticed.”

y/n shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper. “i didn’t want to burden anyone. it was easier to just pretend everything was okay, even when it wasn’t.”

zaia cupped y/n’s face in her hands, her touch soft but insistent. “you are never a burden. you are not alone in this. you’ve never been alone. and i should’ve been there for you when you needed it the most.” she paused, squeezing y/n’s hands tightly. “i’m here now. you don’t have to hide how you’re feeling anymore. let me be here for you. don’t carry this weight by yourself.”

y/n finally broke down again, the tears falling freely this time. zaia’s heart ached for her, but she didn’t look away, didn’t say anything else. she just held y/n, letting her cry it out, her sobs filled with all the pain she had been hiding for so long.

“don’t ever think that boy is the reason you’re worth anything,” zaia whispered as she gently rubbed y/n’s back, offering her comfort. “he doesn’t know what he has, but we do. you are so much more than he could ever make you feel.”

y/n nodded, the weight in her chest lifting just slightly from the steady comfort zaia provided. “i don’t know how to let him go,” she confessed, her voice quiet but filled with resolve. “but i have to, right? for me. i have to stop letting him control how i feel about myself.”

y/n nodded again, a tear-streaked smile breaking through. “thank you, zaia. for everything. i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

zaia’s brow furrowed as she listened to y/n’s confession. “so, you’re telling me, you two decided to just… have sex, and you thought that would fix everything?”

y/n laughed bitterly, nodding. “i thought it would make things better. but it only made it worse. because after, i felt worse about myself. like i was just another girl to him. and now, i feel like all i am to him is… a body, not someone he cares about. and it hurts. god, it hurts so much, zaia. i thought i could be strong, but every time he pulls away, it’s like he rips the rug out from under me.” she wiped away another tear, but it kept coming. “i hate that i still want him. i hate it so much. i feel like i’m not good enough for him, and i don’t know how to fix it.”

zaia wrapped her arms around her tightly again, holding y/n in a protective embrace. “you don’t have to fix it, baby girl. you are more than enough. he needs to figure out how to treat you the way you deserve.” she pulled back slightly, cupping y/n’s face. “this isn’t on you. you’ve been carrying this weight for months, and i’m so sorry you’ve had to go through it alone. but you’re not alone anymore, okay? i’m here, always.”

y/n nodded, feeling the comfort in her best friend’s words but still feeling the ache of everything she had gone through. “i just feel so foolish. i was so sure we were fine. and then he just… made me feel like nothing. and i can’t even say it to him. i don’t even know how to talk to him anymore.”

zaia didn’t hesitate. “you can talk to me, always. i’ve got you. i’ll be here for you every step of the way.” she paused, thinking for a moment before speaking again. “you deserve someone who sees you, truly sees you. he doesn’t deserve you if he can’t even treat you like you matter. don’t let him make you question your worth, y/n.”

y/n bit her lip, trying to hold it together as the last of her tears fell. “i just… i don’t know how to walk away, though. even after everything, i still want him.” her voice broke as she whispered the truth she’d been keeping buried. “and i hate myself for it.”

“you don’t have to hate yourself for wanting him,” zaia said, her voice firm but soft. “but you do have to remember who you are. you are amazing, y/n. and no man should make you feel like you’re anything less than that. take your time. you don’t need to figure it all out tonight, but promise me you’ll start thinking about what you need, okay?”

y/n nodded, feeling a small sense of relief in the embrace of her best friend. “thank you,” she whispered, her voice still thick with emotion. “i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

zaia kissed the top of her head, brushing away her own tears as she whispered, “yes, you do. you have to choose yourself now. you deserve to be loved the way you love, not in fragments and not as an afterthought.”

zaia was silent for a moment before she said, “maybe it’s time to stop.”

y/n let out a breath, staring at the ceiling. “maybe.”

but deep down, she knew. she had to.

because this? this wasn’t love. this was self-destruction, wrapped up in something that felt like love but had never been anything more than a painful illusion.

and she couldn’t do it anymore.

trent woke up early, the tension of the night before still sitting heavy on his chest. he hadn’t expected her to leave, especially after everything had been building up, but when he returned from his morning run and paddle session with cash and a few of the groomsmen, it was clear y/n wasn’t coming back to the room. her things were gone. her absence hit him harder than he anticipated. each quiet moment that passed made him more aware of her absence, and the thought of what had happened between them made his stomach twist.

he couldn’t stop thinking about the fight. the harsh words, the anger, and the painful silence that followed. but what really gnawed at him was the feeling of being so close, yet so far away from her. they’d never really talked about what they were, what they could be. but in that moment, he knew he had lost something precious.

trent had always been good at keeping things under control. in football, on the field, he was disciplined, focused, precise. off the field, it was no different—he didn’t get caught up in emotions, never let anything slip past the walls he’d built around himself. but with y/n? everything was different.

it had been months of tension, of unspoken words and stolen moments. and still, he had never said it. never admitted it aloud. he couldn’t—he wasn’t sure how. the weight of those three words felt like too much, like saying them would shatter everything they had built in their quiet moments. but every time he was near her, it was all he could think about.

the way her laughter filled the space between them, as if it were meant to chase away every shadow. the way her eyes lit up when she talked about her work, her passion for everything she did, whether it was a new song, a project she was excited about, or even a random conversation about the future. y/n wasn’t just driven; she was relentless, her ambition an ever-present force that pulled him in, made him want to do better, be better.

he loved the way her eyes narrowed, the little crease that formed between her eyebrows when she wasn’t pleased with something. it didn’t matter what it was—whether it was a lyric that didn’t feel right or a recording that wasn’t up to her standard. she was determined, stubborn in the best way, refusing to let anything be less than perfect.

he loved the way she cared for the people around her, her quiet, unspoken loyalty. she was always there for her friends, for those who needed her, her strength never faltering. the way she held herself, graceful yet fierce, made everything feel effortless, and that strength, that inner fire, was what drew him to her.

trent had never been one to back down from his feelings before, but with y/n, everything was different. every time he thought about telling her how he felt, doubt clouded his mind. he wasn’t the type of guy to spill his emotions, wasn’t the type to risk making things complicated. but then again, everything about y/n had made him reconsider everything he’d ever known about himself.

he’d caught himself staring at her, the way she moved, how she took up space without even trying. how when she smiled, it was like the entire room lit up, and everything around her became brighter. but it was in the quiet moments, when they weren’t talking, that he saw it the most. the way she leaned into him after a long day, the warmth of her hand brushing against his as they sat together, the subtle way she sought comfort in his presence without needing to say a word.

but now, at the wedding, everything he’d tried to suppress—the love he’d refused to acknowledge—was breaking through.

it had started with her absence. when she left, taking her things without a word, it was like a punch to the gut. the emptiness of the room he’d shared with her felt like a thousand unanswered questions hanging in the air.

and as he watched her walk down the aisle—graceful, breathtaking, completely unaware of how she had just undone him—he felt everything. the pang in his chest, the tightening of his stomach, the overwhelming need to be near her. the emerald dress that hugged her body like it was made just for her, the soft waves of her hair catching the light, the way she looked like she belonged in that moment, in this world, right in front of him—it all hit him like a wave.

he’d spent too many months ignoring the truth, burying it deep, telling himself it was just a fleeting attraction, just the rush of excitement he got from being around her. but in that moment, seeing her, everything became clear.

he loved her.

but the words… they were impossible to say.

he couldn’t do it. not here. not in front of everyone.

but as she walked closer, his heart pounded louder in his chest, and he could feel the weight of the truth pressing against his ribs, suffocating him. he opened his mouth, the words teetering on the edge of his lips, and he couldn’t stop them.

“i love you.”

the confession barely left his lips, a soft whisper, but it shattered the space between them. her eyes flickered toward him, and for a moment, everything stopped. the guests, the ceremony, the world outside—they all faded into the background as he waited for her to process it.

and for just a split second, it was as if time had stood still. y/n’s gaze met his, confusion and surprise dancing in her eyes, but before she could react, she was at the altar, her back now turned to him.

trent’s chest tightened as the reality of what he’d just done settled in. he had said it—he had said the words he’d been holding onto for so long—and now, nothing would ever be the same. the air between them had shifted, and he knew that even if things couldn’t go back to what they were, he couldn’t regret finally saying the truth.

he loved her. and now she knew.

and he couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling that their relationship would never be the same.

the reception was in full swing, vibrant and alive, the sounds of chatter, laughter, and music weaving together in an almost hypnotic rhythm. guests filled the grand hall, surrounded by sparkling lights and the delicate scent of flowers that seemed to linger in the air, but all trent could do was watch her.

y/n had avoided him all evening, her presence in the room more intoxicating than ever, but every time their eyes threatened to meet, she’d quickly look away. there was something different about her now, something almost… untouchable. he could feel the distance between them grow with each passing moment, the weight of the confession hanging in the air like a cloud he couldn’t shake.

as the night wore on, he watched helplessly as rome, ever the charming groomsman, moved closer to y/n. trent couldn’t even focus on the conversation happening around him, his gaze locked onto them. it wasn’t jealousy that gripped his chest, not entirely. it was a deep ache, a longing, and the bitter taste of regret that had settled on his tongue since he had confessed his feelings.

rome, with his smooth words and easy smile, took y/n by the hand, leading her to the center of the room for the dance. she looked stunning—effortless in her grace, her emerald dress sparkling under the lights, her hair falling around her shoulders like soft waves. she danced with rome, laughing as they moved in perfect harmony, her eyes alight with joy. she seemed so at ease, so free, and trent couldn’t tear his eyes away.

his chest tightened as he watched them twirl, their bodies moving together in sync, rome lifting y/n with ease, spinning her around with a smile that made her laugh, a sound so pure it cut right through him.

he wanted to be the one to make her laugh like that. to hold her, to twirl her around, to make her feel like she belonged with him.

but she was lost in rome’s arms, his hands on her waist, and when he lifted her bridal-style, y/n’s laughter filled the air again, the sound that once brought him so much comfort now only deepening the ache in his chest. her smile was so bright, so carefree, it made his gut twist, the pang of longing gnawing at him.

he hadn’t imagined this. he hadn’t imagined seeing her like this, so happy, so free, with someone else. but in that moment, as rome’s arms wrapped around her, it was impossible to deny. she was so beautiful, so perfect, but she wasn’t his.

trent stood there, frozen, watching them as they shared this intimate moment, and for the first time all evening, he realized just how much he had let slip through his fingers.

the reception buzzed with joy, the kind of happiness that felt almost tangible, spreading like wildfire through the crowd. the vibrant hues of gold and green shimmered under the soft glow of the chandeliers, the music a steady pulse of celebration. but for y/n, it was a blur.

she moved through the festivities mechanically, her smile painted on, her laugh hollow. the ache in her chest had only grown since trent’s declaration during the ceremony, a single moment that unraveled everything she thought she’d understood about their arrangement.

he said he loved me.

the words looped in her head, taunting her, twisting the knife of hurt deeper with every replay. she had to keep moving, keep doing her maid of honor duties, because if she stopped—if she let herself think for even a second—she’d fall apart.

as the night carried on, the time came for her to change into her traditional outfit. she slipped away from the crowd, her steps quick as she entered the quiet room she’d been using earlier. the space was a sanctuary, an escape from the overwhelming noise and the weight of her emotions.

she unzipped the garment bag with trembling hands, the rich gold and green fabric catching the light. slipping into the wrap skirt, she struggled to secure it properly, her fingers fumbling from the tension in her chest. she couldn’t seem to focus, her mind a storm of anger and betrayal.

“need help?”

his voice hit her like a thunderclap, sharp and unexpected. she stiffened, her back to the door as she recognized trent’s familiar tone.

“no,” she said curtly, her voice clipped.

he ignored her, stepping further into the room and shutting the door behind him. “you’ve been avoiding me all night,” he said, his voice low but steady.

“i haven’t,” she snapped, her hands busying themselves with the zipper of her blouse, though it wouldn’t budge.

“y/n, stop lying,” he said firmly, stepping closer. “you won’t even look at me.”

her jaw clenched, and she kept her eyes fixed ahead, pretending to focus on the mirror. “i’ve been busy. it’s a wedding, trent. there’s a lot to do.”

“bullshit,” he said sharply, his patience clearly wearing thin. he moved behind her, his hands brushing against her back as he took the zipper and pulled it up. “there. now you can stop pretending.”

“what do you want, trent?” she asked, her voice hard as she stepped away from him, putting distance between them.

“i want to talk,” he said simply, his frustration simmering beneath the surface. “about what happened.”

“there’s nothing to talk about,” she said quickly, picking up her jewelry and focusing on fastening her bracelet.

“don’t do that,” he said, his voice rising slightly. “don’t shut me out like this.”

“i’m not shutting you out. that would imply i ever let you in,” she shot back, her eyes finally meeting his. “i’m protecting myself.”

trent’s brow furrowed, and he stepped closer. “protecting yourself? from what?”

“from you!” she said, her voice breaking as anger and hurt poured out of her. “from the man who spent weeks treating me like i was nothing more than a convenient arrangement, only to turn around and say he loves me during my best friend’s wedding. do you have any idea what that did to me?”

his face fell, his expression stricken. “y/n, i never meant to hurt you—”

“but you did!” she interrupted, her voice shaking with emotion. “you made me feel like i was just… just some fling to you. like none of this—none of us—meant anything.”

“that’s not true,” he said firmly, stepping closer again. “it meant everything to me. you mean everything to me.”

she laughed bitterly, shaking her head as tears welled in her eyes. “don’t say that. don’t you dare say that now, when it’s too late.”

“it’s not too late,” he insisted, his voice soft but resolute. “i know i messed up. i should’ve told you how i felt sooner, but i was scared, y/n. scared that if i told you, you’d walk away.”

“so you let me believe i was just… temporary?” she said, her voice rising again. “you let me give you parts of myself i’ve never given to anyone, and you couldn’t even be honest with me?”

trent ran a hand through his hair, his frustration evident. “i didn’t know how to say it. i didn’t want to mess this up.”

“well, congratulations,” she said bitterly, crossing her arms over her chest. “you managed to do that anyway.”

his jaw tightened, and he took a deep breath, his gaze steady on hers. “i’m not giving up on this. on us.”

“there is no ‘us,’” she said coldly, her tears spilling over now. “you made sure of that.”

he stepped closer, his hands reaching for hers, but she pulled away. “y/n, please,” he said, his voice breaking. “just give me a chance to make this right.”

“i don’t know if you can,” she said quietly, her voice trembling. “you broke something in me, trent. and i don’t know if it can be fixed.”

the silence that followed was deafening, the weight of her words hanging heavy between them. for the first time, trent looked uncertain, his confidence faltering as he realized the depth of her pain.

but even then, he wasn’t ready to give up. “i’ll prove it to you,” he said softly. “if you let me, i’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

y/n stared at him, her heart aching, her mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. she didn’t know if she could trust him again, didn’t know if she could risk her heart once more.

but as she looked into his eyes, she saw something she hadn’t before—genuine regret, vulnerability, and a love so raw it scared her.

and for a moment, just a moment, she let herself hope.

trent’s words hung heavy in the air, his desperation evident in the way his voice trembled, in the way his eyes searched hers for any flicker of hope. but y/n could barely hear him over the pounding in her chest, over the ache clawing its way through her.

he wanted to prove himself? now? after weeks of her pouring herself into something she thought was mutual, only to find out she’d been fooling herself the entire time?

she shook her head, her tears blurring the room around her. “no, trent.”

his brow furrowed, his confusion plain. “no? what do you mean, no?”

“i mean no,” she said firmly, her voice sharper now, anger cutting through her sadness. “the contract is up. you don’t have to pretend anymore.”

trent froze, his hands falling to his sides. “pretend?” he repeated, his tone incredulous. “y/n, i wasn’t pretending—”

“oh, really?” she snapped, taking a step back from him. “because that’s all this has ever felt like to me. a performance. something you agreed to because it was convenient, because it helped both of us. but it was never real. not to you.”

“that’s not true,” he said quickly, his voice rising. “it’s never been pretend for me, y/n. never.”

“stop lying!” she yelled, her voice cracking under the weight of her emotions. “stop standing there and telling me it was real when you made me feel like nothing more than an obligation. you want to talk about pretending? the only one pretending here is me!”

trent flinched as if her words had physically struck him, his face contorting with hurt. “y/n, that’s not fair,” he said quietly.

“not fair?” she echoed, a bitter laugh escaping her. “you want to talk about fair? fair is you being honest with me from the start. fair is you not stringing me along, letting me believe that maybe—just maybe—this was something more than an arrangement.”

“it was more,” he insisted, his voice almost pleading. “it is more.”

she shook her head, her tears spilling freely now. “you don’t get to decide that. you don’t get to say you love me after making me feel like I was disposable.”

“you’re not disposable,” he said firmly, taking a step closer. “you never were.”

then, her words echoed in his mind again: “you made me feel disposable.” and as the phrase rang in his head, it hit him like a wave. “this is casual, right?” his own words. words that had haunted her ever since monaco. it wasn’t just that he had hurt her—it was how he had made her feel. like she was nothing more than a temporary fix, a momentary distraction. disposable.

the realization sent a shockwave through him, the guilt flooding his chest as he replayed that night over and over in his mind. this is casual, right? he had said it so easily, without even considering the weight it would carry for her.

he had always thought she could handle it. thought she was strong enough to keep it together, to play along with the arrangement. but the way her eyes had looked at him after that night—the hurt in them, the way she had withdrawn from him after, had never truly registered until now. he had ignored it all because he was too wrapped up in his own insecurities, in his fear of commitment. and now, he was facing the consequences.

“y/n…” his voice was barely audible, his throat tight with emotion.

she didn’t turn around. she just stood there, her back to him, shoulders hunched in defeat.

why couldn’t you just tell me how you felt?

her words sliced through him. why couldn’t you just tell me?

he had been so afraid to lose her, so afraid of letting her in, that he had never given her the chance to truly see him. to see the man he was when he wasn’t running from his own feelings. and now, he was paying the price.

he took a hesitant step forward, his voice cracking as he spoke again. “y/n, i’m sorry. i didn’t realize how much i hurt you. i didn’t understand… how much that night meant to you, how much i made you feel like… like i didn’t care. i never meant to make you feel disposable. i thought i was protecting the both of us, but all i did was hurt you.”

y/n finally turned to face him, her tear-streaked face a painful reminder of everything that had gone wrong. “you don’t get it, do you?” she whispered, her voice trembling. “that night… that was everything to me. and when you said it was just sex—when you made it clear it meant nothing—it broke me. i gave myself to you, trent. i trusted you. and you made me feel like i wasn’t worth anything more than that.”

trent swallowed hard, his throat tight. “just sex.” how could he have been so blind? how could he have let her believe that?

“i’m so sorry,” he repeated, his voice raw with regret. “i never meant to make you feel that way. you’re not disposable, y/n. you’re… you’re the furthest thing from it.”

she shook her head, stepping back as if his words were too much to bear. “you can’t take it back now, trent. you can’t just decide to care when it’s convenient for you. it doesn’t work like that. i can’t keep waiting for you to figure it out. i deserve more than that.”

he felt the finality in her words, the weight of the decision hanging in the air like an unspoken truth. and for the first time, he realized just how badly he had messed up.

“i know i can’t fix this,” he said quietly, the pain in his chest making it hard to breathe. “but i need you to know… i’m sorry. i didn’t know how bad it hurt you. i never meant to make you feel so small, y/n. and i’ll spend the rest of my life trying to prove that to you, if you’ll let me.”

she stared at him for a long moment, her eyes searching his face for sincerity. but as the silence stretched on, it became clear that the damage had already been done.

“then why?” she demanded, her voice rising again. “why couldn’t you just tell me how you felt? why did you wait until now, in the middle of all this, to say something?”

“because I was scared,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “i was scared that if i told you, you’d push me away. that you’d tell me you didn’t feel the same, and i’d lose you completely.”

she stared at him, her chest heaving as she tried to process his words. but the anger and hurt were too overwhelming, drowning out any possibility of understanding.

“well, congratulations,” she said bitterly. “you’ve lost me anyway.”

trent’s face fell, his expression crumbling as her words hit him. “y/n, please,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“no,” she said firmly, her voice steadier now. “this is over, trent. the contract, the arrangement, whatever this was—it’s done.”

“it doesn’t have to be,” he said desperately, his hands reaching for hers again. but she stepped back, putting more distance between them.

“it does,” she said, her tone final. “because i can’t keep pretending that this is enough for me. that you’re enough for me when all you’ve done is hurt me.”

and with that, she walked away, leaving him standing in the wreckage of his own making, knowing he might never be able to fix what he had broken.

trent opened his mouth to respond, but no words came. he stood there, frozen, as y/n turned away from him, her shoulders trembling with the weight of everything she’d been holding in.

and for the first time in his life, trent alexander-arnold could finally see all the ways he had broken her.

next

© PDRIESTA 2025

[zoe-wrote]

One month abroad

Hello. I thought I would write more often, but I felt I didn't have enough to report on. In reality, studying abroad can be quite mundane.

In these past few weeks, I've spent my time learning the bus system and how to feed myself. I've never been responsible for all three meals before. Everytime I actually cook, I start by chopping up onions and garlic and caramelize them on the stove. I think of my papa every time I do that-- he never shies away from bold flavors, and back home some well browned onions and garlic are often the base that allows the meal to be built so flavorfully. I like to listen to whatever novel is assigned for my contemporary dystopian literature course via audible while completing tasks like cooking and cleaning. Having a manual task to keep my body occupied helps my mind stay focused and I get my chores done, so it's a win-win really. I've listened to Herland and 1984 thus far, Fahrenheit451 is up next.

I like to open my window in the morning to get some fresh air in the room and hope enough sunlight comes in to dissuade any seasonal affective symptoms that could occur in my silly little brain due to the change in climate. I like to put on my big headphones blasting music as I power-walk to class (I'm often supposed to have left three minutes prior). Recently I've been listening to a lot of The Smile because I am insufferable and seeing them in concert next month with jena (THOM YORKE IN THE FLESH!) as well as the usual shoegaze indie pop burlington vermont listening location shit. There is something so wonderful about the sensation of the wind on my skin as I speed through campus to my Existentialism and Humanism lecture blasting Mac Demarco.

I do really love learning, and my classes this term are pretty fun. I think my favorite emotion ever is curiosity, I love the feeling of wanting to know more and giving myself unbridled permission to explore whatever I've stumbled upon. Me and Jena love just trying random doors and seeing if they will open, walking down corridors and pathways in directions we are uncertain of, exploring new random hobbies and chasing new experiences. The two of us are destined to either live long fulfilling lives filled with whimsy and joy or to get kidnapped quite young due to our foolishness and trust.

We joined several clubs at UCD including; film, horticulture, taekwondo, juggling and circus, i joined the lgbtq one as well but jena did not because she is busy being such a good ally to the community. i wanna join orienteering soooo bad they give you a compass and you have to run to spots on a map it sounds so beautiful. We tried to find the gardens for a hort soc meeting but failed miserably, got some fantastic pics from that hero's journey though. Every now and then I get so lost I think I know what Odysseus felt like.

We did attend a two hour Taekwondo training and will continue that I suppose, we had no prior ambition of doing Taekwondo but the girls running the recruitment table were so cool and made a great pitch. I really enjoy getting sold to. It's mostly queer women on the Taekwondo team, but we are instructed by black belt men who I think perhaps attended UCD like a decade ago??? Idk really but it's kind of fun and I've been saying I need a hobby. I love to kick.

We went to our first Juggling and Circus event yesterday, and we didn't vibe with the people as much. Did get to make some balloon flowers though so that's pretty cool. Probs gonna garden this week as well. The campus is kind of inconveniently located (realistically about 1 hour away from the city centre if you want to go anywhere other than Grafton st), so we're trying to find a good amount of things to do on campus.

I've definitely learned a lot about Ireland, credit is certainly due to my personal irish cultural guide Síofra who I've become close with this last month. It's been great getting to know people and to build a new life. I suppose it's reassuring that I've been able to get by these past few weeks without being miserable.

It's a bigger deal to study abroad than I give myself credit for, especially given that three years ago I wasn't sure I would graduate high school. I think often of how my younger self might react to my current life; my teen self would be astonished and disbelieving, but my child self would be reassured and excited. I am quite proud of myself. I feel an obligation to be appear particularly wise when I write or speak about emotions and past life experiences which often manifests in me writing blog posts and such with some kind of message in them once I start wrapping up my thoughts.

I don't have anything specific to offer. What I can say is that I'm excited, and looking forward to exploring this city, country, and continent more. I'm excited to keep getting to know the cool folks I've met here and to see where life takes us these next few months. The world is weird. I'm tired.

[meghansmallrocks]

Oh Harold what have you done?

All one can start with is thank The lord HMTQ isn’t alive today to witness this open brutal assault on all the royal family! Yes Harold has attacked almost every body in his famous long standing family to the point where us British are now getting sickened by his one sided narrow minded missile firing even his much loved cousins father has come under the launch,how does she feel today after having his back throughout most of it ! Harold bangs on about his king in waiting brother, has he forgotten that his beloved mother instillled into them that they watch each other and must support each other I cannot imagine if she where alive today that Harold would be doing all this ! Therin lies the quandary let’s change things up The Princess of wales is still alive and Harold has married his first love Chelsey Daley would this spoilt poor me Prince be kicking up a Dust storm ?? I don’t think so!!! So what happened Harold who and what has made you so angry and hostile that you emotionally damage your own family! If one was to take an educated guess one would point a finger straight at your odious narcissistic wife! Did she whisper in your ear that monetising your pillow talk would be a great idea as let’s face it you don’t have much else! Oh yes Harold you where in the British Armed Forces but it seems you have now brought them in too the firing line so to speak… are you that closed up that you put out into the world that you killed 25 human beings, do you not understand the unwritten rule of not speaking about the happenings of war …Guess Not!

Ironic isn’t it how your evil overlord bangs on about sexist titles for women but gives Kate “Baby Brain!”.

“I want my father back my brother” are you kidding me after this silly shindig your family are going to come running “Darling Boy we are soooo sorry we love you come back and all will be as before”. You and Your wife will be the star of the show your children will be running around protected under the Titles from the king? My God Harold what planet are you on? The only one I can think of is one in Meghan’s solar system. The thing is now what do we believe? Meghans cap doffing street dancing version or the Royal family who have remained dignified and silent? Now no one is saying your brother and you did not have ballistic rows most siblings do but publicly putting it out there whilst raging that your need for privacy reeks of hypocrisy!

Can I ask you Harold in what context was it ok for your wife to visit HMTQ on her deathbed and you absolutely know this is why you never caught that plane so blame the right person who caused a huge fuss that you missed spending time with Gan Gan in her final moments!

So let’s get to the raw meat of it all The Title’s now we all are pretty aware there is a call for you and your evil overlord ..I mean Wife to be stripped but you Harold will remain as from birth a Prince ergo if you lose the titles she could become Princes Henry of Wales almost equal to Katherine right? Is that why your wife is constantly calling now for you to just give the titles back and why are you resisting Harold does your narrow small mind realise that this would be the final straw for your family???

My last words to you Harold is… please for Gods sake shut your whining self adoring wife down and shut Your extremely huge complaining GOB!!! ….just to give our ears a long needed rest!.

This is all subject to rumours of course 🤣🤣🤣

By Jus Tiz …Who Was Forced To Be Quiet For A While!

[charlietheepicwriter7]

Hey, Little Songbird

Chapter 26 - AO3

Felix whirled around, eyes wide.

But there was no one there. The room was just as dark and empty as it was when he broke in. Was he just imagining things? But he definitely heard a voice just now…

“Yoohoo! I’m talking to you, blondie!”

His knees buckled at the loud, high-pitched voice. It was two in the morning, why were they yelling!? “Will you stop that!” He hissed, ducking behind the desk in case someone came to investigate the noise. “Where are you!? Who are you!?”

“I’m right here, silly-billy!” A blue… thing rushed up in his face and Felix flinched away, falling on his backside. Before him floated a… bird-bobblehead monster, staring at him with unsettlingly large eyes. The details made it look like a peacock, a strangely familiar one at that. “My name’s Duusu!”

“What the seven-hells are you?” He didn’t have time with this hallucination nonsense! He was in the middle of a heist, why did his brain have to pick that very moment to kick a curveball at him?

The bird-thing perched on the desk in front of him, its tail feathers splayed on between its tiny feet. “I’m a kwami, duh! And you never answered my question, Adrien! What are you doing in here? It’s soooo late. You woke me up, you know!”

His thoughts raced. This kwami, whatever it really was, seemed to think he was Adrien. It either didn’t know Adrien that well—since he wasn’t disguised as his cousin, so there were differences—or despite its large eyes, it didn’t have very good eyesight. Hallucination or not (and Felix was getting a dreadful feeling that this was leaning towards the ‘not’ category), he could use this. “Father asked me to get you. I’m sorry for having woken you up so late,” he apologized, not sorry at all.

“Geeze, is he trying to do the Sand Boy routine again? He has, like, no originality.” Duusu flew up and over to Felix, crawling inside the pocket of his pants. “Do you mind if I nap in here before Mayura is needed? It’s waaaay too late for this.”

Suddenly, the pieces fell into place. Felix swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. “Go ahead,” he managed. “I’ll wake you up when we’re ready.” With a yawn, the creature fell asleep in his pocket, leaving Felix to contemplate the implications.

Gabriel was Hawkmoth. If this kwami was somehow necessary to create Mayura, Hawkmoth’s sidekick, and was somehow inside Gabriel’s office, then there could be no other answer.

Funnily enough, he wasn’t surprised. While Felix hadn’t expected his already low opinion of his uncle to nose-dive all of a sudden, he didn’t find it out of character either. He might be terrified, he might be furious, but it wasn’t surprising.

Gabriel Argeste was Hawkmoth.

A hysterical laugh bubbled out. he slapped a hand over his mouth. Focus, he had to focus. He had to escape now. There was another day left of his suspension, but that didn’t matter anymore. He knew Gabriel was a terrorist; his safety was at risk staying in this house. He couldn’t go back to his apartment. Marinette’s? But Adrien knew how close they were, he’d tell Gabriel immediately and they’d be sure to check there.

Wait. Almost every member of his class had been akumatized at some point. Was that… Adrien’s doing? Was he helping create targets for Gabriel? And the first akuma had occurred around Adrien’s first day at school, that couldn’t be a coincidence!

No, focus. He needed the miraculous. Hawkmoth was after miraculous, the Ladyblog had confirmed that he had one himself, so Mayura had to have a bird miraculous, right? And if miraculous were jewelry…

Returning to the safe, Felix picked up his aunt’s brooch. She’d always worn it when Felix visited, pinned over her heart, and it was exactly the same down to the crack through the center of the largest gem. It was silly to think that this piece of family history was magic, but the slight weight on his hip reminded him otherwise. Like it or not, this all seemed to be very real.

He could blackmail Gabriel, he realized as he pinned the brooch to his jacket. Gabriel would stop making a fuss about the rings if Felix had actual evidence of his crimes. He might even stop backing Rossi, freeing himself and Marinette from the Italian’s torturous presence. Rossi was clearly working with both Hawkmoth and Gabriel, even if he had no idea if she knew the two were one and the same.

Or Gabriel could just send an akuma after him.

He checked the safe again; there was nothing that resembled a butterfly inside. Felix knew mixed martial arts, but would that be enough for the akuma sent after him? He could try to use the Miraculous, but who even knew if the kwami would be willing to work with him.

And… blackmailing Gabriel meant leaving Hawkmoth be. The terrorist would still be free, still attack innocent people for Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous. He didn’t even know his uncle’s motives. For all he knew, Gabriel could be after world domination, and that… that just wouldn’t do.

He’d continue to Alya’s, he decided. Even if she hates him, she hates Hawkmoth more. With her help, they can contact Ladybug and make a plan from there. Felix had no desire to fight supervillains, thank you very much. He’d leave that to the professionals.

Studying the safe one last time, Felix started stealing things at random. He had a Miraculous, and his ring, so now was the moment to make it look like a robbery. Sure, Gabriel and the police would suspect it was him, especially when they found him missing in the morning, but once he wiped for prints, they’d have no way to know for sure. Even if they saw a trace of him on the cameras, he could argue that it could be Adrien, who had a history of sneaking into his father’s office.

Soon, he thought as he flipped up his jacket’s hood before leaping from the office window, onto the wall that guarded the property. He ignoring the alarm he set off and the camera that couldn’t see past the shadows of his face, bolting off down the road before the Gorilla could start searching the grounds or the police could be called.

Everything would be alright soon.

A/N: Just FYI, I will explain why Duusu isn’t confined to her miraculous in the next chapter. There is a reason, the peacock is still broken tho.

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