#and it literally couldn't have went better
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having satoru as a baby daddy should be everyone's worst fear, if we're being honest. not only do his genes overpower yours, forcing you to pop out a child that looked just like their damn daddy, but he was just so fucking annoying.
you couldn't say that you didn't enable it because you did.
fucking him every time you saw him wasn't the right boundary for the both of you, and of course the two of you knew that, but he was always in your space looking the way he did.
you couldn't not fuck him, you know? like seeing a twenty-dollar bill on the ground; it was too tempting.
satoru wasn't any better, having to bite his tongue whenever his child went back to him, telling him that you went on your third date with the guy you were seeing. biting down on his fists when dropping off your child and seeing the person there.
a fake bitter smile on his face as the guy leaves, rolling his eyes and whining to you, trying to convince you not to see him and how he's so much better.
"come onnn, i promise i'll be better. you know you wanna." pouting when you turn him down for the hundredth time.
yes, the offer was tempting—really tempting—but you couldn't possibly put yourself back in that position. who were you kidding? you were in different positions with him every sunday; you just weren't ready to commit to satoru of all people, not yet.
you didn't even try to argue with yourself in your mind; the sex was too good for you to stop, and you weren't going to convince yourself to stop either; this was your selfish moment, using him for his dick and nothing else.
he knew your body well, a little too well, hitting that hidden spot inside of you without fail every time. and you didn't want that to stop; he hit that small spot inside of you that was hidden until he found it so fucking good.
the both of you had issues on both sides, but satoru was always going to get what he wanted.
fucking you so good. he had you telling him that you love him and to never leave, and satoru took it literally. see? you hated him; he wasn't mature about anything and used the only thing that you liked about him, which was his dick, against you.
he wasn't all bad; he gave you the best kid in the world, and you couldn't ask for anything better.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujustsu kaisen x reader#x reader#gojo satoru#jjk satoru#jujutsu kaisen satoru#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo#gojo jjk#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo smut#jujustu kaisen#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru x reader#satoru smut#jujutsu satoru#gojou satoru x you#satoru x you#gojou satoru x reader#satoru x y/n#gojo saturo#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojō x reader
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Yet again I see people mischaracterizing Jimmy as some jerk who lashes out on people for no reason and berates them for anything minor like where did you get this from did you actually read any dialogues in the game????????
Jimmy really only threw one shade at Daisuke, he didn't think he was spoilt rich kid he just said he was covered by his parents because he had support system unlike all of them grown up adults. Most of times Jimmy just awkwardly slid off silly things Daisuke said, like the ladies comment or when they were mixing the drink. Daisuke actually trusted and listened to Jimmy throughout the game (to his own detriment unfortunately). Jimmy sent him to the vent because he was the captain and he wasn't going to do the dirty job obviously and if the Swansea somehow woke up Jimmy could shift the blame like he had already got away with. Even when eventually things went to shits we don't see him blaming Daisuke because Jimmy recognised that it was his decision to send him there. Jimmy didn't want to fatally injure him, he tried to "fix it later" which didn't help at all and Jimmy felt guilty about it.
Jimmy treated Anya dog shit half the time it's true but not to the extent some people make it to be. He loves control, he has said so to Curly's face, to ours and that's why he made sure to put her down and belittle her. That's why he (potentially repeatedly) sexually assaulted Anya — because rape is form of power play, he didn't even want her sexually. Initially, Jimmy didn't hate Anya, he just didn't like her and the feeling was mutual. He continued to do bare minimum for her, like when checking up on the crew. If I had to guess how Jim viewed her by the end, then he most likely found her inferior, incompetent, always putting work on his shoulders (or responsibilities he didn't want (pregnancy)), together with being paranoid of her having the potential to ruin his life. That's why he got so pissed off when he saw her crying to Swansea, very likely having already told another person of what he has done. (I'm 100% sure he holds the grudge for telling Curly, who then rushed to "fix things", making Curly seem like a responsible captain which Jim hated.)
Jimmy never made any attempts at understanding or sympathising with Swansea. He knew him longer than Daisuke yet the latter understood him better. Jimmy probably thought that Swansea was an old grumpy man who hated everyone and everything. As the game went on Jimmy just considered Swansea to be nothing but a selfish drunkard (due to immediately assuming he was hoarding cryopod to himself). After the vent incident who Jim blames for the absence of medicine? If Swansea wasn't so stubborn (for like, few times) Jimmy wouldn't have need to spend prescious recourses on him. He could have saved Daisuke instead and fix his fuck up but Swansea ruined it twice. Swan doing arguably the right thing by putting out Daisuke out of his misery only solidified his role as a villain and a threat in Jimmy's eyes, that's why probably as a revenge (for not giving him enough time to think) he went for the gun instead of cryopod like Swansea allowed him to.
And finally Curly. Honestly this deserves a separate book on it's own at this point. It's almost 3 a.m. here so I'll only mention some stuff. Jim aggressively lashes out twice on-screen, first time because he literally lost his dream job, listened to Curly "bitching about having said dream job" and couldn't come face to the fact that Curly was "abandoning him while also looking unscratched from the fall of the ladder" while Jimmy will return to his struggle of life (he didn't even know about the pregnancy yet...). Second time was when Anya endangered Jim's new status as a captain and like I mentioned reminded him that she could fuck up his life even more. Feeling like he was losing control, Jimmy beat up poor Curly who was stripped out of said control by non other than Jimmy. Finally, he was violent off screen by destroying Polle, out of frustration, irritation from the thing, and/or hatred and resentment for the company (que "Pony express is dead" line). In one instance he says "He's mocking us" which confirms that it's about Jimmy's ego.
In conclusion STOP MAKING MY SHITTY CHARACTER SHITTY IN THE WRONG WAYS. This isn't even a full blown analysis of Jimmy's character but accumulation of posts I read and conclusions I came with.
Focus on his already preexisting shitty qualities stop making up new ones ffs signing out.
#i'm going to tag this properly too this time fuck it#i should have been sleeping instead of writing this#god i love you jimmy my problematic king#mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#analysis
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Episode 11 really showed Jack's growth
Okay, I know what you're gonna say: "but he lashed out at Joke! He threw him away again! He got so angry!". And like- yes he lashed out, yes he didn't stop to think, yes he got extremely angry. But that literally happened in the first ten minutes of the episode, alright? There's more than a hour after that, so please let's focus on everything else that happened too, and the fact that Jack acting like that literally only lasts for a short while (as I already said, everything happens extremely fast in this episode, if you really think about it he only stays made for less than a day, which is a perfectly valid period of time to need to sort through complicated feelings - hell, it's an incredibly short time, Jack got over himself extremely quickly).
Anyway, lemme go in order, because I'm not just talking about his relationship with Joke here, but about everything else too.
There are two main things about Jack's character arc (well, more than two, but I wanna focus on these ones now): first, his tendency to hold grudges and be hard on forgiveness and, second, the fact that he never stands up to power and powerful people in an active way (I'll explain better what I mean later).
As for the first, I made a whole other post about it, so I'm not gonna repeat everything again, but let's see how in this episode he got to the end of his growth in this aspect.
He's extremely mad at the start of the episode (rightfully so), so much that he goes on a rampage (we love to see it, tbh), even though he should know that it wouldn't end well.
When he wakes up, he's still mad - of course he is, he didn't have time to think and process everything yet, given that he was beaten unconscious until now. He gets mad at Grandma when she mentions Joke, and then he lashes out at Save and Hope. It's understandable.
But then? Then it only takes Hope saying this for him to calm down and put things into perspective
I think it's important to point out that here it's only been maybe a few hours since the hospital scene. And here, Jack finally has time to think.
This it when he finally stops and thinks and realizes that he was wrong, that he didn't have any right to be mad at Save or Hope (or, well, he does, but how should also be able to understand their positions, because he's been there too), because they're all in the same situation in the end; and he realizes that Joke only did what he did for him. This is the moment when he finally has time to think and realize he was wrong (both about Save and about Joke), realize that he doesn't want to lose Joke, that he misses him.
Let's not forget that the start of Jack's character growth was to learn to forgive. And here, he shows that he's finally able to do this.
He works together with Save and Hope, he trusts them. Why didn't he call Joke to join them then? Well, I think he probably wanted things to calm down first so that after that he would have the time to actually talk to Joke. He didn't have the time to do that in the end, and that's the tragic thing.
But we know that's what he planned to do, because that's exaclty what he says.
Anyway, let's move on or this will become way too long lmao
It's not only in terms of learning to forgive that Jack grew. It's also in the way he finally decides to actively act to oppose Boss.
I mean, Jack was caught in Boss' web of power since he was young, and he's had to deal with the fact that he couldn't escape it, couldn't defeat it, for years. And so, he always submitted to Boss, in a way.
Yes, when he was a debt collector he went against him, in secret (and sacrificing himself and his own money), until Boss found out and Jack had to bow his head againt before him. When Gradma was in the hospital, he let himself in Boss' grasp again and even when Joke and Grandma slapped some sense into him his way to oppose Boss was to simply tell him he didn't want to marry Rose anymore, but was still willing to work for him; now, we know that that only worked because Joke had stolen the ring. What would have happened if Joke hadn't done that? Boss would have refused, of course, and Jack would have had bowed his head again.
Until now, Jack's actions were often passive, a result of him having no choice. Even when he played the ladder game against Lompran, that wasn't a real choice.
Not now, though. In this episode, Jack finally realizes that he can't keep doing it, that he needs to fight back for real. And this is the first time that Jack realizes that he can't always do the morally correct thing if he wants to defeat people like Boss.
Jack has always had really solid morals, and he's always lived by the fact that he needs to be better - better than the corrupted people in power who use them and look down on them. And that means he can't accept theft as a valid way to fix things, even if it would be justifiable and it would make things easier. But he can't do that, because that would mean that he's just as bad as them. Poor people are always expected to do the right thing.
Until now. Because now Jack has finally realized that he can't play it fair against people like them, he understood how that world works, and he realized that he needs to play following their game's rules.
He's learned the power game's rules and he's ready to play.
And that's what he does. He's able to take advantage of Lompran's greed and use it for his own ends, and he's not afraid of risking his own or Save's life - because he knows at this point that they can't play it safe anymore.
He played the game but he also kept his morals, because he still didn't do it for himself; he played their game but he's still better than them
Jack has mostly been a passive force until now, but in this episode he's finally the active force - he's the one with the plan, the one who takes the lead. (Joke, on the other had, has always been the active force of the show, and in this episode he's the passive one, but I'll make another post about this another day)
And I think this will be obvious in next episode too, when he'll (finally!) get a gun and do everything that's needed to save Joke and everyone else from Boss.
And he finally understood that the world isn't black and white and that sometime you need to do something "bad" to fight back, both for youself and for others. And that that doesn't mean you're a bad person.
#jack and joker#jack and joker the series#jack and joker: u steal my heart#jack & joker#jack & joker: u steal my heart!#honestly thank you if you really read all of this btw lmao i know its way too long#my posts#this is extremely long im sorry lmao#but ive been thinking about it#this is the first time that jack takes the lead and actually opposes boss in such an active way#without sacrificng himself#did you know that i love jack so much? if it wasnt obvious already#anyway you can expect another post like this but about joke#i havent talked enough about him bc i was too busy defending jack lol
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Steve has a bit of anger issues and a problem with repressed trauma so i thought it would be so funny if he would have got vecna'ed and talk back at vecna like if the mf can't just kill him on the spot.
I just imagine Steve being done with all his bullshit villain talk and call him a manchild freddy krueger wannabe who is so full of himself even when he has been defeted for three consecutive years by literally kids and teenagers.
Anyways, something something, here is something i wrote about it that i never finished.
—
And okay, Stress Steve didn't know how not to say things, he just gave away whatever thought he may have, it didn't matter if it was venomous or vulnerable, but most of the time just works to embarrass himself saying out loud his dumb thoughts, he just talks and, oh boy, he talks.
Stress Steve didn't know when to shut up, Steve would say that he could be a Robin 2.0 but it was more about what he said than how much he talked (or rambled in Robin's case), which was more than he liked to admit.
Now, Afraid Steve wasn't much of a talker, he was more of actions, from freezing in place to just move. He gave barely any thought at what he would do but he did, maybe just a few seconds but he analyzed and thought about it.
Contrary to popular belief he did think before acting, probably not enough, but he didn't have time to do that (Robin would– and did– argue with him about it).
The point is, when Upside Down shit happens Stress Steve and Afraid Steve kick in, so he has a weird combination of saying dumb shit and doing even dumber shit, like when he was literally yelling at a child, that child was Erica and she didn't even bat an eye, but still, you can get the point.
[Insert Steve and Vecna's talk]
So now not only he has Stress Steve and Afraid Steve in his system, Angry Steve has joined the mix and… listen, Steve is trying really hard to be a better person, he really is, scouts honor, but he knows that he can hurt people with his words.
He would see the deepest insecurity and sore spot he can find and spit in it to make the other bleed, make them hurt, and if he couldn't find it he would instead make them snap, yeah, he is trying to stop but it is a part of him that it doesn’t quite go. It's in his blood. His DNA, or whatever.
He knows himself (he had to know himself if he wanted to be a better person– he doesn’t dare to think he can be a good person, just better, never good), that’s why he tries to just have Stress and Afraid Steve around when shit hits the fan because in the first round, Angry Steve appear and everyone knows how that went (I'm sorry Jonathan, I did deserve that punch). So Angry Steve is most of the time locked in a cage, deep down in some part of the still healthy brain that Steve has left.
Anyways, that doesn’t matter now, because Angry Steve has come out and is ready to spit at anyone who crosses his path, and maybe Stress and Afraid Steve can keep him on a leash but that doesn’t mean he isn’t there. Steve is just lucky enough that the one who crosses his path is Vecna.
How good is his luck that the moment he wants to make someone angry just like him, that the other one is a monster from another dimension that has quite literally his life in his hands and can kill him in any moment, ha.
Just his luck.
—
“Steve, What did you do?”
"I may or may not have called Vecna a Freddy Kruger wanna be"
#steve harrington#stranger things#vecna's curse#steve gets vecna'ed#anger issues#ramblings#vecna stranger things#robin buckley#platonic stobin#just a thought
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Just a Thought About Cale Part 2
It hath been requested, so here is a sort of continuation from my last post. Today I am gonna talk more about what I believe Cale embodies:
HOPE & LOVE
In my first post I already talked about hope a bit, and ya’ll can read that if you want my full take on this, but I will continue where I left off. Last time, I mentioned that something was missing when I listed out what it is exactly that Cale hopes to have in his “slacker life.” Said list is:
A nice house
A peaceful place to have said house in
A ton of money
After looking at this you may be wondering what is missing, since it looks like everything Cale has stated time again to want is already there. However, we all know how unreliable of a narrator he is and that he never actually fully says what he wants unless it’s money. What is missing is his hope of having a family living there with him in that nice peaceful house.
It’s so obvious that he misses having others around him, regardless of how many times he denies it. He’s just scared of losing them again, and for a time I do genuinely believe he had given up on that hope of having loved ones. But over the course of his new life as Cale Henituse you can slowly but surely see that hope being rekindled. It also helps when he learns that the ���curse” that was accidentally placed on him due to white star shenanigans is now gone.
So now he actually has a chance to be able to keep his new family around, and you better believe he will do anything in his power to do so. We have already seen plenty of his self-sacrificial stunts to know this fact already. Cale’s list of hopes, of course, has continued to grow from just those beginning 3 that encompass his “slacker life,” and most likely will as time goes on to most likely include the simpler pleasures of life he can indulge in with his family.
A true family man I would say!
Now, regardless of how many hopes he has (or how small they may seem), Cale is someone who is full of hope and in turn fills others with it as well. So where does Love fit into our beloved idiot you may ask? Look at all of the people he has surrounded himself with and how he interacts with them. He may say he's "trashy" and a "bad person," but we all know he isn't with how he acts. Cale is highly perceptive of his family’s condition, their wants and needs. He goes out of his way, all the time, to make them happy:
He gives the children sweets and cuddles all the time
He gave Raon his name
He gives Rosalyn whatever she needs for her research and is helping her become the Magic Tower Master
He visits Alberu all the time and just hangs out, which must be such a relief to shed the royal persona (even if Cale does steal his cookies)
He lets Ron mess with him even though he hates it and helps him take back his ancestral home
Always eats everything Beacrox gives him and compliments it (probably also gives him new kitchen tools and ingredients to mess with as well)
He gave Eruhaben a reason to live longer and extended the dragon’s lifespan—and went through one hell of trial to do it—so he could do so (said reason being to live with them for as long as possible)
He gave Mary the world to experience and explore to her heart's content
Took in Lock and his siblings and just lets them be kids, albeit very violent ones
He got Choi Han a new sword (which he treasures), as well as a new home and family (which he treasures even more)
That's not even counting all he does for the others and his allies. But most of all, Cale protects them:
He never puts the kids in a situation where they can be hurt
Even when one of them was in harm’s way (Raon), he bodily shielded them not once but twice
He carried Rosalyn (with his weak noodle arms) when she couldn't stand out of harm’s way
He keeps Alberu's heritage a secret and helps him politically
He literally blew up an island for Ron
I don't think he's had a big moment for Beacrox yet, but he has saved him from the fate of living in a world without his father
Has shielded Eruhaben before from the White Star
Like the kids, Mary is almost always out of harm's way and he also protects her politically
Has shielded Lock during the Battle at the Gorge of Death
He protected Choi Han from completely losing it, as the biggest danger to Choi Han is Choi Han himself
Cale loves his newfound family so much he speedran the war with White Star in UNDER A YEAR!! And that's just for his family! You cannot tell me he hasn't also fallen in love with his new (well what was supposed to be his really) home world. He is literally tracking down and annihilating the Hunters who are in other worlds because they keep going after his in part 2. Don't tell me that isn't love! It also doesn't help that, no matter how much he denies it, Cale gets attached fairly easily. He wants people around him to love who love him in return.
GIVE THIS MAN SOME HUGS!
Anyways, I think I have rambled long enough. Hope ya’ll enjoyed this!
Brief interest check: how would ya’ll feel if I posted some creative prompts for writing, drawing, etc.? Lemme know however you want.
@elaemae hope you liked it!
#cale henituse#lcf#tcf#character analysis#this turned out longer than intended#oh well#i'm just glad its no longer taking up space in my head#twas getting quite annoying#i need a nap
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You will shift.
Well, let's go.
I'm a shifter. I've been in this community since the middle of 2021, and since then, I have always believed in shifting and wanted to shift. I saw a video on Instagram Reels, and at first, I was confused but interested. I don't remember exactly what the video was saying, but I know it was talking about shifting. That video stayed on my mind for weeks, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Then I installed TikTok and discovered the whole community. I was immediately so happy to learn that it was possible to shift realities, which made me anxious about it. I kind of believed in shifting when I was a young kid but didn’t know it by that name.I watched videos with methods and people explaining it. I made a (shit) script for my Harry Potter DR and searched for a guided meditation on YouTube. I experienced all the symptoms and felt like I was there. I almost went. I mean, I kind of went, but I was too afraid to open my eyes and realize that I was there. What if something go wrong? What if I die? What if I embarrass myself? I couldn't help thinking about those things since I was twelve (or eleven). I thought everything needed to be perfect—that *I* needed to look perfect. I was an insecure kid as heeeeelllll.
I never stopped consuming content about shifting. I love shifting. My only social media was TikTok, and that was the only place where I could "study" and learn about shifting. It continues to be so today. Since last year, I have been away from social media for a while (for the sake of my mental health) and only log in when I have nothing better to do. I've seen a lot of videos that explain how shifting is easy and that we complicate it ourselves. That relaxed me and helped me so much. Well, I don't have a really good life in my CR and I know that I *can* and *already have* a better life... ah, that just helps me. I know that my agnosticism complicates things a bit, but I just ignore it, and I'm trying to tell my subconscious that my beliefs or non-beliefs won't stop me from opening my eyes and realizing that I am already in my DR.
This week, I tried a method with a Brazilian YouTuber, and I knew that I was in my DR. But for some reason, I woke up in my CR with my heart racing, sweating, and feeling scared. I don't know exactly what happened, but it made me realize that I have a fear of success because the "failed tries" had become my comfort zone. That was good for me, in a certain way, to understand myself.
Well, I just wanted to write this to remind myself that I'm a master shifter, that I can do literally anything; nothing can stop me from blinking and being in my desired reality. This shitty text is motivation for me, but I want to motivate you all too. I want you to know that it doesn't matter what you believe or don't believe, what you think works or doesn't work, or what you see in your physical space—just know that you're already in your DR. We all are. You'll shift tonight.
That's it, guys! Thank you so much, and I'm sorry for any grammatical errors (English is not my first language).
Xoxo.
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It probably changed to clarify more as to WHY they're having to update the policy. Ao3 is based in the US, which means the government gets to point fingers (not sure to what extent, since I don't have the head for laws and loopholes and how they overlap and contradict and just... it's complicated in a way I get headaches thinking about). It also works as a non-explicit warning that some of the people in power could potentially see personal information and use it against you.
Since they went out of their way and clarified that ao3 personnel can see what you've written (should they care to look), it's probably another non-explicit warning. Likely about how if the gov says to hand over any and all personal info they could get on the site, they quite literally couldn't say no.
And they have to beat around the bush about it, because stating flat out that they'd actively try to protect people of minorities the gov wants to track down (should it happen) is only gonna get ao3 personnel arrested and the entire group disbanded. Which helps no one
If anyone else with a better understanding of it all has anything to add, clarify, or correct: please do
As someone who lives in America...
Should I be worried about this?
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Sub!bucky is so needy for you after you denied his orgasm a few days (he is so whiny 😩🥵)
And at night he’s having a wet dream of you and he doesn’t know that’s part of you evil plan… while he grinds his clothed dick at your palm you whisper some sexy things in his ears. When he cums he wakes up and you made his look like he was not your good boy 🥵🥵🥵🥵
I've actually been thinking about something similar recently! I just really love subby men eugh 🤤
I like to think you could make it a little more intense though because I prefer to imagine that you've been making him edge for a few days. You don't let him edge inside you, you both know he'd struggle too much. Instead, you lube up your hand and stroke him for hours, letting him fuck your fist until he's dribbled so much precum over you, your hand is unbearably slick and then you kiss his forehead before you tuck his aching cock back into his underwear.
No matter how much he whines and begs and pleads to be allowed to cum, you don't give in. He's not just being denied his orgasm, he's being worked towards it until he's right on the edge and then you give him absolutely nothing. Repeatedly. It's torture but fuck, he gets off on knowing his dick is yours. He doesn't cum without your permission. You completely own him.
He breaks after the sixth night of being relentlessly edged. You'd stroked his cock nice and slowly for hours that day, swirling your tongue over his tip and reminding him that he's the best boy. He was practically shaking by the time you both made it to bed.
His little whine of "Oh fuck, please." was the first thing you remember hearing when you woke up, quickly followed by "O-oh, oh yes."
At first you thought he must be touching himself; giving in to his own slutty thoughts when he thought you wouldn't find out.
As your sleepy brain slowly wakes up, you realise he's grinding against you, rubbing his throbbing cock against your bare ass, gripping your hips like there's no tomorrow. "Gonna cum. F-fuck, gonna cum." He's frantic, his head tucked in against your neck, his breath hot and erratic against your skin.
You can't have that. Absolutely not. You shuffle away from him, determined not to let him have what he needs and the second the contact between your bodies is broken, you hear him whine pathetically.
"Did you really think that would work out for you?" You tease quietly, turning to face him but that's when you realise his eyes are still closed. His brow is furrowed, very clearly still asleep.
You can't help but pity him. He's so desperate to cum, he's grinding against you in his sleep. He's done his very best to do as he's told but his body can't take it. He's been the best boy for you all week. The least you could do is grant him a little relief.
"You're such a good boy, Bucky." You whisper, pressing him gently onto his back, grasping his cock and letting the tip glide between your slick folds. Nothing feels better than this. You've missed it more than you thought you would this week.
"Such a pretty little slut." You line his tip up with your entrance and ever so slowly lower yourself down. "You're a mindless little fuck toy for me when you're like this. So horny, you can hardly even think straight. You've been like a needy fucking puppy for me all week. You just let your dick think for you, isn't that right? You know I could tell when you were zoning out and daydreaming about fucking me? You're so cute."
As you start to really fuck yourself on him, Bucky seems to moan himself awake.
"Please." He begs, and it sounds so pretty when he says it. "Please, I'm so close. I'm gonna cum. I can't cum inside you. There's gonna be so much."
"Oh sweetheart, that's what I want. I want you to fill me. Stuff my cunt full of cum. I thought I told you how badly I want a baby."
#asks answered <3#anon#becca writes spice#sub!bucky#subby!bucky#this ask is from ages ago#it fit what I wanted to talk about almost perfectly#I'm up at 4.30am tomorrow#and I've got that same excited feeling I used to get as a kid the night before a holiday 😂#I feel like I've slept all weekend#but I got my lashes done!!#things at work went so well this week#I've been planning this past week since November#and it literally couldn't have went better#I ordered WAY more stuff than I thought we'd need and we literally ran out within 3 days#I can't believe how well it went#so I'm probably gonna talk about it forever and I'm not sorry#tw: somnophilia#tw: somno
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In every timeline Ryu Sun-jae is accosted by an absolutely insane woman and every timeline he falls head over heels for her
#their dynamic is translatable (NOT the same but hear me out) to jane eyre and mr rochester#in that one of them is an obvious weirdo and the other is just as much of a weirdo but is just better at hiding it#(completely different genre though like couldn't be more different i fear)#she literally went 'lets live together' when theyd spoken for a cumulative five minutes and he went 'that was weird. whatever'#judging by the ep14 prerelease theres gonna be red envelope hijinks and i cant wait#also have a very strong suspicion that THIS version of him is a time traveler because the watch still had two chances. but we'll see#lovely runner
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i love ryomina
no but seriously. even when i’m thinking about other things that captivate my interest, i find myself coming back to them and feeling like i fell down three whole flights of staircases every time i do. they are one of my favorite pairs in media and are very special to me.
it’s the way that ryoji and minato’s lives are inevitably intertwined with each other due to the circumstances 10 years ago on the moonlight bridge. without no minato, there is no ryoji. minato as he is today is because of ryoji. they have irreparably affected each other’s lives that you cannot discuss one without bringing up the other one.
ryoji mochizuki, who is death, pharos, thanatos, nyx avatar, the man of many names and identities, is the perfect summation of p3′s messages and themes.
minato arisato, the wildcard and protagonist, who has boundless kindness in his actions despite the unfortunate cards handed to him.
the two of them complement each other and tell a beautiful story from start to finish.
minato’s personas capture this perfectly. he awakens to orpheus, who’s flames burns bright, is snuffed out by thanatos during the encounter against the arcana magician. a visual precursor of the idea that ryoji stole from the life that minato could have had.
it’s the way that over the course of the game as minato interacts with pharos, talking throughout the dark hour, forging a bond that cannot be broken, that allows ryoji to exist. minato humanizes death.
november. the bells toll, calling the appriser. and yet, it’s peaceful... quiet, and full of life. ryoji, who breaks free from death’s chains, refusing his role, is given the chance to live for a month. to make the most of the humanity that minato has given him over those ten years. and what a life he lived. ryoji’s life is a reflection of what minato’s life could have been like in another universe.
it is the way the two of them are reflections of each other. ryoji with his hair down is just like minato. they are both stubbornly committed to choosing to be kind, to love life, yet are chained down by the cards the narrative dealt them with. they finish each other’s sentences, knowing each other intimately in a way no one else does.
how is that, a boy who lived for only one month, profoundly changes the course of the narrative? he is simultaneously relevant and irrelevant. blink, and you miss it, the beautiful life that he led.
ryoji is horrified at the revelations of being the appriser. he who so desperately wished to forget that his existence was meant to bring the end to all life, was unable to escape the inevitability of death. in a non-human way, of course. he becomes remorseful. a shadow of his brief time as a human who was enamored by the small beautiful things that life had to offer.
he is swallowed by grief. grief knowing that his very existence will take away not only minato’s life, but everyone else’s. the very thing that ryoji loved- life, fundamentally went against the role he was born for- to be the harbinger of death. and unable to grapple with this sadness he believes that the best thing for minato to do is to kill him, so that SEES can live in bliss not knowing about their inevitable end.
SEES is left rattled, calling into question what the meaning of life is and what they do when faced against the inevitability of death.
and!!! minato chooses!! for ryoji to live!! even in spite of what ryoji is MEANT to embody, minato still stubbornly chooses to defy death itself! and if that’s not cool i don’t know what is!! minato wants everyone to have the chance to live!!
so he climbs. he ascends tartarus, to meet ryoji, again, who is now the nyx avatar. and i just think there’s something so so beautiful about being able to use messiah, minato’s ultimate persona, against nyx avatar.
messiah, being the fusion of orpheus and thanatos is peak ryomina to me. because ryoji and minato have established an unbreakable bond from having been entwined for 10 years, minato still has a piece of death with him, and by proxy!! ryoji is able to defy and rebel against nyx trying to bring the fall! and i think that’s fucking cool shit if you ask me!
even when all of the arcanas have been gone through, it’s still not enough to stop the fall. and yet. minato knows. in the way that ryoji was sealed in minato 10 years ago by aigis... minato becomes the great seal so that everyone can live. it comes full circle.
march rolls around. he fulfills his promise to SEES on graduation day. minato dies from exhaustion. but goddamn does his sacrifice make me weep- he’s had such, such a tiring journey. he’s been through so many things because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. but at the end of it all, he’s reunited with ryoji in death.
and i think this is why ryomina continues to evoke so much emotions for me, to this day. the relationship that they have embodies so much of persona 3′s messages and themes that it makes me feel like a microwave with nothing running in it.
p3′s message is very hopeful, for me. my favorite takeaway from it is that even if death is inevitable, appreciating the life that we were given and choosing to live as best as we can with kindness (even if we can’t feasibly do everything), is just? really nice? and you see this manifest in both ryoji and minato’s personalities and what they do for the other characters.
ryomina just feels so distinct to me, the flavor that their relationship ties back to my favorite takeaways from this game and im just!! god!! i love you minato arisato! i love you ryoji mochizuki! im so glad that i could meet them! i’m happy that they changed my life! they made me want to appreciate the connections in life even if they were fleeting! they made me!! want to pay attention to the good moments in life and cherish them!
i love ryomina so much!!! i’m so glad that these two could bring so much joy into my life! and i hope that others can have this joy too! 💛💙
#lizzy speaks#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#meta#long post#(literally)#HI SO UM YESTERDAY I COULDN'T FUCKING SLEEP so to cope i was like 'i will talk out loud about anything and everything'#and somehow that turned into me talking about ryomina out loud and something about verbalizing my thoughts made me feel crazy about these-#two again. i mean for the record i continue to love them always very dearly but like my p3 braincells sometimes go into hibernation bc-#ive been on a really huge splatoon kick. but anyway my voice was like cracking at 3am because i was tearing up#i was like 'THE!! IM! SO NORMAL ABT WHAT ORPHEUS AND THANATOS AND MESSIAH SYMBOLIZE' etc etc etc#so i kinda just went to sleep like 'ok well you GOTTA type it out. everyone needs to know about this.'#and um i didnt mean to make 1069 words! sorry! not really! but i love them!!! even if im very quiet these days!#ohhh how lucky i am to have had the chance to experience ryomina they are such a gem. they make me so goddamn emotional#they really mean a lot to me because of well. (gestures at the entire post) but also they came at a really good point of my life and FUCK!!#im so so grateful to them!!! i love them!!!! the themes that their relationship and characters convey just !! IM SO NORMAL ABOUT IT!!!#they've affected me so profoundly and deeply and i wish i could make better art to get this across. but its ok. one day i can. one day#they make me so fucking talkative like actually but um. i had a lot of fun writing this! i dont think ive had like. a proper appreciation-#post for them that articulates why i like them so much (unless you count the essays i write in my art tags) so it was nice to make this.#admittedly theres a lot abt p3 that im rusty on since its been a goodwhile since ive interacted with the source material#and in a way you could say that like. i need to renew my p3 license LMAOOO but god some parts of p3 still have such a huge death grip on me#and what i mean by that is that the big Fucking Events have such!! clarity!! in my mind!! i recall them and i wilt on the spot!!#oh god i cant fucking shut up. the tags are probably 500 words long. enjoy my ramble. i wish every ryomina enjoyer a Good Life <3#actually no. i hope that EVERYONE on the dash today has something that sparks joy for them the way ryomina does for me.#everyone deserves 2 have something that makes their brain do a little excited dance that makes them blow up and explode. its good for u!#BYE FOR REAL this is why i have to post my thoughts very spread out otherwise yall would have so many WORDS on ur dash pls help i have so#many emotions and i am so tiny i cannot possibly fit all the feelings i have about ryomina and other things inside my tiny little body
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Lotta good points!
1) My issue with 'Bucky does everything' is... why the fuck would he want to be friends with Steve, in that case? And why would Steve go to such lengths for someone he couldn't be bothered to support properly before?
It makes being Steve's friend a quite-literally-thankless job, and Steve's 'friendship' amounts to the chance to serve him in return for nothing - no gratitude, no apology, no happiness to see him, no emotional, financial, physical support in return. It makes Steve selfish and self-absorbed, which are antithetical to his defining traits of selflessness and thinking of the little guy.
He can't vaunt those traits in everyone except Bucky, but then turn around and act as if he valued them all along by, eg. saving Bucky, avenging him, etc!
Plus it makes Steve's claims of independence a joke too, which in turn makes it annoying when he turns up in Basic Training and suddenly is able to do things, so that Token Love Interest can look like the first person to recognise his capabilities, when... no, those traits just weren't there, before, on purpose.
CATFA deliberately avoided showing us anything by the way of Steve's abilities, for Bucky to believe in, just to make it look like Bucky is unfairly undervaluing him (nonsense, since he's known Steve his whole life) and that someone else is a better judge. How the fuck is Bucky supposed to know Steve is capable of throwing himself on a grenade?! It's not like they have those lying around in Brooklyn!
5) Bucky using women to disguise his closet is true to the spirit of Arnie Roth, on whom he was partly based. But I still think it's a step too far to suggest he'd chose strangers over friends and family for his last night; even a lesbian couple.
(Or that Steve wouldn't likewise insist on having Bucky's last night in America for just them, even if they weren't a couple).
Unless Bucky's relationship with his family was bad... But we've never seen/heard any suggestion of that? 🤔
Again my thought process is 'why would A be friends with B if B was like this??' (ie. if A was selfish enough to spend their last night with strangers rather than with B).
8) Re: Steve the incel.
You could also play it as Steve having benevolent misogyny values without realising it, putting women up on a pedestal (explaining why he doesn't clock when he has been molested, or assaulted; is shocked when a woman lies to him; maybe thinks the reason he isn't being sexually attracted to women is because they are Too Perfect to sully with sex, etc.)
The only problem with idealising women is that it surely could not survive contact with a troop of foul-mouthed show girls, unless Steve absolutely went out of his way to avoid them??
But if he did have benevolent misogyny, this could maybe manifest in pre-serum Steve delivering long mopey monologues about how whoever he's been set up with is probably too good for him, probably isn't even interested, he's so poor, and sick all the time *cough cough*, unlike her, she would be embarrassed to be seen with him, probably, he's sorry Bucky set her up with him of all people, etc etc ...delivered during the date.
So that by the time Bucky circles back around to their table, no matter how attracted to Steve the girl was initially, she'd be like '🙂 please get me away from here.'
I could also see a queer Steve self-sabotaging by doing this, as a kind of inverse of ladykiller!Bucky.
Either so deeply in the closet that he doesn't even realise he's doing it, is unaware he's not helping his 'passing for straight' problem, thinks he's just looking out for the poor perfect woman, etc. (perhaps even kinda likes that guilt makes Bucky be extra-nice to him for a while after?)
Or, not closeted Steve having a bloody-minded determination not to date because he thinks it's dishonest to the lady; determined to publically crash and burn, so no one ever questions why he hasn't got married yet. And maybe seething and annoyed about having to do this, because he feels bad for wasting the girl's time.
And, yeah, open-book baby gay Steve absolutely glaring at whoever Bucky's dancing with and his own date either clocking him or being like 'woah he really seems obsessed with his friend's girlfriend?'
(I could also see a closeted himbo Steve being like 'yeah Bucky took me to this secret gay bar he knows about for some reason, but it's just because he knows I always fail with women and wanted to give me a night off from that, that's all!' Poor Bucky dropping absolute anvil hints and Steve's not getting it. 😂)
I ended up doing a long old rant on this other post, about the problems with the Steve/Bucky characterisation in CATFA, how it fails to make them mutual in their support / fails to properly show Steve's struggles and independence, before serum.
And I was thinking...
what would you have to do, if you wanted to write a CATFA or pre-war Stucky fic and wanted to fix all those problems?
So I figured I'd make a list!
Pardon me while I rip CATFA a new one...
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Problem 1) Pre-serum Steve acts as if he's independent and self-reliant without Bucky... when the opposite is shown.
A) He doesn't have a job.
(He isn't shown working, doesn't mention working, or taking time off to do the things we see him doing etc. Bucky is framed as paying for things.)
If the fic is set during CATFA you could fix that by mentioning Steve does have a job but has been given time off to go enlist. Or has just been fired from his job. Basically anything to show that Steve has had a job, has been working. Perhaps even had multiple simultaneous jobs!
Probably cut out the part where Steve scoffs at working in a factory or collecting scrap metal (more likely he'd admire and/or understand why both of those are viable options; maybe they're jobs he has done in the past and is biased against now, for some experiential-related reason.)
Or, if he still does not want to work in a factory... well, at the time, with most men being overseas, factory work would've been women's work. So perhaps Steve was reluctant because it feels emasculating. Or maybe even dysphoric, to be relegated to otherwise female-only spaces, instead of welcomed into (then) male-only spaces like the Army? 🤔
(This would especially ring true if you were doing a trans!Steve story, or emphasising the disability aspect of his life. And it would cycle back when he gets stuck in the USO, doing women's work again.)
B) It would also be better characterisation if pre-serum Steve was already good at fighting, but just happened to be outclassed by heavier weight opponents, and/or hindered sudden disability flare ups mid-fight. (In the tie-in comic, Bucky taught him how to box. Why not keep this?)
And also if his health was in a lifetime high point, then it would be less nonsensical to be trying to lie his way into the Army. There has to be some actual common sense and logic behind his choice, so that he's not essentially snapping 'Bucky why won't you support me committing suicide, gdi?'
Steve shouldn't be getting his first real win by knocking down a flagpole; he should've been showing this capability in his pre-war / pre-Army time, too.
You could emphasise the idea of Steve entering a fight he knows he's going to lose, in order to accomplish a secondary goal that the enemy doesn't recognise. IE. Steve fighting the bully in the alleyway -- he loses the fight, but succeeds in stopping the bully from making a scene in the cinema, which was his original goal. So mention it!
(Steve could be like 'winning this fight wasn't the point.' And Bucky could be like 'ah, so what were you distracting him from?')
.
Problem 2) The support is imbalanced; Bucky's doing all the emotional, financial, and physical labour in the relationship.
You could fix that by showing how pre-serum Steve was not only mutually financially supportive (in the sense of having a job), but was also supporting Bucky emotionally and physically, just as much as Bucky supported him. He could be doing at least 2 of the 3!
Possible Examples:
Bucky going through an emotionally hard time that pre-serum Steve pulls him through (just as Bucky did with Steve's Ma).
Steve treating Bucky's wounds after a fight, just as Bucky treats his. (If Bucky's a boxer, like the tie-in comic, then Steve could be his cut man when he's in the ring!)
Steve paying for some of their expenses, or finding places to take Bucky that are free when it's his turn to plan a day out, etc.
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Problem 3: Sarah & problem 2.
If this is CATFA / post-death setting, show flashbacks or make references to Steve visiting her in hospital, or doing the work of nursing her himself / sitting by her bedside if she died at home, paying for her medicine, etc.
So that it's not just another example of Bucky wholly carrying Steve; show the balance. Maybe Bucky was temporarily footing the bill so that Steve could afford to quit his job and do the nursing at home. Both putting the work in, in different ways.
(This would be a perfect example of one way Bucky's experience of looking after sick Steve would pay off, and make him able to teach Steve how to do it when the roles are reversed.)
Better yet, a show-don't-tell of Sarah instilling Steve's moral compass and tenacity; maybe even some Bucky POV to show her impact isn't just relegated to Steve.
Her absence could also be shown in present day with Steve, eg. packing up his things to go to basic and having to leave behind some keepsake of hers.
.
Problem 4: The relationship is framed as transactional.
Less 'I'll do X for Bucky now because he did Y for me back then' and more 'helping Bucky is the right thing to do because he's innocent so I'm going to do it regardless of outside whining, and he would still do the same thing for me, or anyone else, because he's a good person.'
There has to be more to it than just convenience, needing each other around to help; there has to be an actual desire to be together for pure enjoyment, too.
IMO you'd need at least one scene where Steve and Bucky aren't benefiting in some way from spending energy on eachother. They're just... happy being together.
And perhaps Bucky isn't the only friend pre-serum Steve could have had, just the one Steve most wanted to stick with. (His options should amount to more than 'Bucky or no one.') Perhaps Steve's health absences and strong principles drove other friendship prospects away?
.
Problem 5: A's problems are framed as B's.
No more 'Steve getting attacked' being framed as a problem for Bucky.
No more 'Bucky being drafted to die' framed as a problem for Steve.
Better characterisation would show these bad things affect the victim first and foremost, and only/also the other one, secondarily.
Steve shouldn't be seeing Bucky's shipping-out uniform (skipping right over thank yous and congratulations) and talking about how that's sad for... himself.
Steve shouldn't be sabotaging Bucky's last night of freedom in NYC to spend it on... his own goals.
Sidenote: Bucky wanting to spend his last night of freedom with strangers is such idiotic writing anyway, when he has both Steve and a living family with whom he could be spending those last precious moments! And dragging Steve on a double blind date he clearly doesn't want to go on is counter-productive. It undermines the mutually-supportive / mutually communicative relationship Steve and Bucky should logically have, as lifelong inseparable best friends, and shifts the blame for Steve's singlehood off of him and onto Bucky and women generally.
Steve shouldn't be detailing why he's so keen to fight, and focusing on random men he doesn't know, not directly/unequivocally mentioning Bucky at all (indirectly, he wants to be like the men laying down their lives -- so... like Bucky? But this is still nonsense. He should want to be there to support Bucky, not to copy!)
It's likewise nonsense for Bucky, who has known Steve since he was a child, to ask Steve why he's keen to fight. Bucky doesn't need to ask. Bucky already knows. Lazy clumsy exposition.
And the narrative should be showing us why, rather than having Steve infodump it without anything to back it up.
Speaking of which...
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Problem 6: Lack of explicit politics.
Like in the comics, Steve's reasons for fighting Nazis should be explicitly left wing and political, as well as personal.
(Wanting to be like able-bodied men who get girlfriends is complete cringe incel bullshit as a motivation and not true to the comics, or CEvans's performance!)
Proper Steve characterisation should have him behaving in a way that shows he's a man ahead of his time in terms of Antifa politics, and that's why he wants to fight.
IE. happily sharing housing and schooling with people of other races, ethnicities, and religions. (Especially so when he has been in the same SEC as them / been in multiple different schools and lived in various neighbourhoods as a poor kid.)
Not judging and mistreating disabled people the way he is.
Not judging unmarried mothers, belittling working women, expecting his mother to do all the housework, etc.
Not freaking out about the existence of queer people in public (even in an AU where he isn't one) defending gay men from attack as he does in the comics,
protesting and/or sabotaging public Nazi meetings in NYC, fighting with homegrown Nazi bullies especially, ditto corrupt business owners / mafia union-runners as he does in the comics, etc.
The Hydra saboteur should not be the first Nazi Steve ever got his hands on!
And Bucky should be an addendum when it comes to his reasoning. The heart of Steve's motive, where politics are the guts.
.
Problem 7: No disability rep.
A) Steve should not be saying that he, a disabled man, shouldn't have the 'right' to do less than able-bodied men, even though it is literally physically impossible...
...UNLESS, this internalized ableism is addressed in-story, rather than treated as if it's normal and even noble.
Other characters can be ableist; Steve should not (not only is he disabled himself, but he's supposed to know better!) unless it's part of an arc that shows that this trait is weird in him, and he learns the error of his ways.
Instead it could be shown that his health has recently become good enough for him to survive and succeed in the Army. Without Steve arguing that he should throw his disabled life away, just because able-bodied men are taking a significantly lesser risk of dying than him.
B) There should be actual details of Steve's disabilities, what they are and how they affect him. (Him - not Bucky.) In a way that has concrete negative consequences, beyond just not getting into the Army.
Possible Examples:
Steve being held back a year at school because of missing days due to sickness. Kids can be cruel and parents can be ignorant; he might've been bullied and ostracised for being sick and believed contagious.
Kid Steve having to move around a lot (which would also affect which school he'd have to attend) because losing money to medicine affects what his mother can afford, affects her work schedule when she has to look after him. Living in a worse place would then exacerbate his pre-existing symptoms, and so on.
Adult!Steve losing a job because of sick days, losing savings to pay for medicine, getting sick again because he either chose heating and groceries over medicine or vice versa, etc.
(This / the moving-around might be mitigated if he and Bucky are living together, meaning Bucky could make up the shortfall.)
Steve could lose friendships or romantic partners due to sickness taking him out of social circulation.
You could also play into the Nazi eugenics then endemic to the USA and have medical professionals telling Steve he shouldn't be alive; 'well-meaning' people offering to pray for him, saying they'd have 'given up' if they were born like him, etc.
And Steve should, maybe, mention once or twice that he feels better after serum and truly couldn't be doing what he's doing in Europe, if superserum hadn't also cured all his ailments?
If he's much more peppy afterwards, it should be because for the first time in his life he can actually breathe and spring out of bed!
.
Problem 8) The Incelery.
Pre-serum Steve should not be framed as undateable because he's short and disabled.
If Steve hasn't had a girlfriend, it should be because he didn't want one, not because evil women are repulsed by invisible health issues or Bucky is too dreamy for a disabled man to possibly compete with, be so fr. 🙄
You could fix this by making Steve: gay,
ace,
demi,
coincidentally surrounded by lesbians,
by women who have horrible unattractive politics,
too sick or busy with work to date,
getting attention but it's the wrong kind (ie. women who want to fetishize or nanny him),
and/or being very attractive to women even before serum but oblivious and/or simply not interested. 😂
/more than one of the above.
.
#lots of juicy possibilities tbh!#mcu meta#meta#stucky#steve meta#bucky meta#stucky meta#steve rogers#bucky barnes#catfa meta#mcu salt#mcu critical#catfa critical#I COULD RAMBLE ABOUT THIS ALL DAY#also thinking about the problems there were w/ antisemitism / pro-fascism in the catholics of bk at the time (italians irish and german)#if steve was genuinely tryna find nice catholic girl whose dad wouldn't want to strangle him he might've had his work cut out
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It's insane to me that the planning in one minute war part four essentially went like this:
Wally: I have a fantastic idea
Barry: Why does my lab look like a landfill
Ace: Wally did it-
Wally: Barry! It doesn't matter!! Let's build a car bomb!!!
Ace: That's fucking stupid
Bart: You're fucking stupid
Barry: So help me god I don't care if we're in a warzone, I will put you both on timeout
Barry: Wally. Why a car bomb?
Wally: Well. Fast cars and explosions are cool... and I have the Flashmobile right here so... let's make an explosion??
Barry:
Ace:
Bart:
Wally:
Barry: .... okay fine we'll make a car bomb
Wally, Bart and Ace: *cheering*
Wally: AND I'LL DRIVE IT!
Barry: waIT WHA-
#this is literally how that fucking conversation went#cept it was longer#and Bart and Ace fought more#and barry was like 'wally you better be able to fucking vibrate if you want to drive this death trap'#and wally was like 'pffft. barry i GOT this.' and then he very much in fact did not got this and couldn't fucking vibrate and exploded#rip wally#have fun regening from the Speedforce again. don't get loat this time#dc#dc comics#the flash#kid flash#wally west#impulse#bart allen#barry allen#speedsters#ace west#one minute war
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Was.... that supposed to be the end of FO4? 😐 Like once you've blown up the Institute you get this random nostalgic slideshow that has nothing to do with ANYTHING and that's it? You beat the game! Good for you! But we'll place you back into the world to keep playing I fucking guess? What's going to happen to your friends and The Commonwealth with all the decisions you made?😐 Don't ask us! Not like we're going to make an RPG with the infamous RPG IP, that would be silly!
#DOES ANYTHING I DID FUCKING MATTER BESIDES THE FACTION I WENT WITH TO MAKE THE INSTITUTE GO BOOM????#What in the HELL?????#I have literally NEVER been more underwhelmed with an ending in my LIFE.#At least 3 showed slides for A COUPLE things I did!!!!!!!!#Hell! When fucking Dragon Age Inquisition managed to make their vanilla pre-dlc'ed ending feel better than yours that is a PROBLEM#because that is the SECOND worst ending to a game I've ever played#& I know I said Mike took the parts to the Minutemen but I couldn't convince myself doing that made sense#the railroad and brotherhood both make sense. they have people who can figure those parts out! The minutemen... do not#I'm so MAD I put HOURS into this game 😭😭😭 I love the Fallout series SO MUCH why is ANY level of compotent storytelling#ASKING TOO MUCH???? 😭#almost 10 years late to the party but. MAN. Like the rest of the game is DECENT!!! it has flaws of course every thing ever made does#but I had SOME fun!! But like.... Bethany.... Miss Bethany Esda an ending that feels GOOD is a VERY important part of games PERIOD#YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT#kat plays FO4#fallout#FO4#with all this said yes I AM immediately starting again to play a F SS and make her more chaotic and mean. Mikey was my standard#agressively paragon good wholesome cinnamonbun run. Next character? Oh man she will cause problems ON PURPOSE
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can't believe I'm a full time part time employee
#kinda want to talk to my boss like 'so... if I'm a part time employee why am I working full time?'#but I know the answer.. the store would literally shut down lmao#we're so short staffed we had to shorten our hours today since someone couldn't make it in#and the other manager is in the hospital...#if they paid better they'd probably get more employees!!!!#the freaks!!!!!!!#but at least my last day is wednesday lmfao even tho my new job is having issues with the paperwork I put in my two weeks#as soon as they were like 'we wanna move forward with you pls do a background check' I went to my current job and was like I'M OUT#working full time to the point of overtime without the benefits is not the move but it makes me feel powerful in a way#I'm the one who decides if the store stays open! >:I#.................... lichrally screw this place but anyone who's responsible enough to still be around is actually cool#so at least I mostly like the ppl#personal
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how are you feeling today? did you make it through unscathed?
Yeah I definitely didn't 😭 I've been hella congested all day and I definitely have a cough, but it's more bc my throat is bugging me than anything. I don't think I technically have a fever, my temp's just slightly elevated from where it normally is. It's fucking miserable bc I can't breathe through my nose and the damn thing fucking hurts, and I'm kinda uncomfortable and a little achy, but other than that I'm mostly just tired and a little hazy and generally just don't feel great, so I'm not dying like my partner was lmao. But yeah, all this to say that I'm fucking pissed at him and I literally feel like a goddamn plague rat 😭😭
#not snz#i fucking hate it here#I've sneezed a few times but not much#mainly just coughing#super sniffly tho#also i did go hang out with him just so i could bitch at him lmao#also i feel fucking disgusting and i was sad being in my room#like i don't want anyone to perceive me#like i was almost never sick when i was younger and if i was no i wasn't unless it was bad#but times have changed 😔#so no more going out and doing things while being either maybe or definitely sick 😔#thank god honestly but i still don't want people to Know#like don't fucking look at me let me rot in my hole and die alone#but i didn't wanna be alone apparently like i was very sad about the thought for some reason smh#so yeah we literally just hung out in the car#lowered the seats and had blankets and pillows and shit so it was kinda chill#and he bought food from a couple different places bc it's his fucking fault and he's trying to buy my forgiveness lmao#various soups and mac and cheeses and the general concensus was that they'd probably be good if we could taste them better 😭#some of them tho the texture was just not it like even a great taste couldn't save them imo#also there's a boba place that makes hot teas also so we went there a few times#ordered in advance masks on obviously so we were only in there for like a minute just to grab everything#like we were being as careful as we could#also he's like mostly feeling better like his fever broke apparently#he still sounds fucking gross tho lmao like his voice is shot and he still has a pretty bad cough#and now I'm like fucking whatever we both have the same gross ass fucking disease so it's fine i guess#but i still kept glaring at him as a first reaction whenever he decided to be symptomatic lmao#but i wasn't pressing myself against the window trying to escape so progress lmaoooo#anyway it was a chill day i guess like we were just hanging and making sure the other person wasn't dying lmao#I'm at home now and took a hot ass shower and my eyes hurt and I'm tired so it's probably bedtime lmao
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when you had a shitty day but the gay people in your phone are nice to you and say hi because they care about your presence and you aren't a waste of space
#chewby rambles#had the worst social interaction at school 😔😔 this is why I'm learning jsl#I learned asl for the hell of it now get ready for “I'm literally just going to learn an entire language to avoid speaking to people”#“I don't have social difficulties much I'm not autistic” WRONG. TALKING TO HIGH ENERGY PEOPLE BEAM#to summarize I was laughed at and treated as less then for like 30 minutes trying to teach them math but in the fake nice way so#I couldn't slap them and leave and unfortunately I learned my usual facade is just as much of a fucking dumbass as I am under it#guys I'm literally trying to help you understand basic algebra. can you not make fun of me please#for like 15 minutes pretty please#I left and almost went off and cried in the bathroom but they dragged me away so no crying session 😔 maybe it was for the better though
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