#and it had an image of them next to each other

[lady-phasma]

I felt compelled to cite my sources for Armand and Lestat being an item off and on over the years. I’ve been in this fandom too long to get involved in ship wars or to really have an OTP for these crazy-ass vampires. I happen to love Armand and Lestat from the books and think that Assad and Sam make it work so well on screen. I hope we get loads more of them for season 3.

Anne wrote all of her characters as deeply flawed, we can all agree on that, but the nearly fanfiction level of “let’s see what happens when two of my most flawed characters get together” writing she did in TVA is brilliant. Book spoilers below.

Here's a link to a post I made about Lestat's perspective of Armand from TVL. (I have included one quote from TVL below because it's too precious to exclude.)

Lestat spends almost a full page describing how he sees Armand at a ball at the Palais Royal:

Yet never had Nicolas, mortal or immortal, been so alluring. Never had Gabrielle held me so in thrall. Dear God, this is love. This is desire. And all my past amours have been but the shadow of this. - The Vampire Lestat, p. 275

They literally feel the same about each other: instant attraction, love, desire, and so on. And it is powerful.

So powerful that hundreds of years later (in one of my favorite passages from any of her books) Armand is the only person allowed to approach an unconscious Lestat. Not only approach him, but allowed to lay down next to him and cuddle, caress, and console Lestat, to cry onto him.

I looked down on Lestat, who was unchanged, his hair fallen as before, a little over his left eye. His right arm was out, and his fingers curling upwards, and there came from him not the slightest movement, not even a breath from his lungs or a sigh from his pores. I knelt down beside him again. I reached out, and without flinching or hesitating, I brushed his hair back from his face. I could feel the shock in the room. I heard the sighs, the gasps from the others. But Lestat himself didn't stir. Slowly, I brushed his hair more tenderly, and I saw to my own mute shock one of my tears fall right onto his face. It was red yet watery and transparent and it appeared to vanish as it moved down the curve of his cheekbone and into the natural hollow below. I slipped down closer, turning on my side, facing him, my hand still on his hair. I stretched my legs out behind me, and alongside of him, and I lay there, letting my face rest right on his outstretched arm. Again there came the shocked gasps and sighs, and I tried to keep my heart absolutely pure of pride and pure of anything but love. It was not differentiated or defined, this love, but only love, the love I could feel perhaps for one I killed or one I succored, or one whom I passed in the street, or for one whom I knew and valued as much as him. - The Vampire Armand, pp. 368-369 (emphasis is mine)

But the contrasting absolute annoyance Armand has for Lestat is hilarious! He loves him but can barely stand him sometimes (that isn't unusual for Lestat's admirers).

Lestat, not a bad friend to have, and one for whom I would lay down my immortal life, one for whose love and companionship I have ofttimes begged, one whom I find maddening and fascinating and intolerably annoying, one without whom I cannot exist. The Vampire Armand, p. 276

But it's the way he describes things that happen to him that maddens me, the way that he connects one incident to another as though all these random and grisly occurrences were in fact links in some significant chain. They are not. They are capers. And he knows it. But he must make a gutter theatrical out of stubbing his toe. The James Bond of the Vampires, the Sam Spade of his own pages. - The Vampire Armand, p. 288 (emphasis mine)

Though Armand's head on Lestat's arm might be the most beautiful image of the two of them from any of the books, this line gives me chills every time:

"Lestat, my Lestat - for he was never theirs, was he? - my Lestat was crazed and railing as the result of his awful saga […]" - The Vampire Armand, p. 320 (emphasis mine)

Yes, your Lestat.

[kckt88]

A Heartbeat Between Us Epilogue.

Summary:

Aemond and Y.N celebrate their wedding day.

Warning(s): Fluff, Allusion to Smut & Aegon being Aegon ;-)

AEMOND x Y.N

Word Count: 3750

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated, do not copy/post to other sights without my permission.

Tag List - @jasminecosmic99 @kaelatargaryen @yesterdayfeelings-blog @immyowndefender @0eessirk8 @killua2dot0 @msassenach @xcharlottemikaelsonx @moonnicole @toodlesxcuddles @mamawiggers1980 @minttea07 @nommingonfood

Two years had passed, and the day had finally arrived. Y.N stood in the sunroom of the manor, nervously fidgeting with her bouquet.

The soft scent of flowers filled the air, and sunlight streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow on her white dress.

Y.N glanced at her reflection in the mirror, smoothing down the fabric and taking a deep breath to steady her nerves.

Behind her, the sound of footsteps broke the quiet. "Beautiful," a voice said softly.

Y.N turned to see Aegon leaning casually against the door frame, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Aegon," she said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to walk you down the aisle," he replied, stepping closer. His usual mischievous demeanour was replaced by something softer, more sincere.

Y.N blinked, her eyes widening. "You'd do that?"

Aegon nodded, a rare moment of seriousness in his voice. "It would be my honour."

He held out his hand, and Y.N took it, her heart swelling with gratitude.

"Don't let me fall," she whispered, half-joking but still feeling a little shaky.

"Never," Aegon promised, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

As the doors to the sunroom opened, the soft sound of music drifted in, and Y.N took a deep breath.

The moment she had been both anticipating and dreading was here. Together, they walked slowly, side by side, to the beginning of the aisle.

The guests rose from their seats, turning to face her. Y.N’s heart fluttered as she saw so many familiar faces—friends, family—all here for this moment.

As she and Aegon moved forward, she caught sight of Jace sitting next to Rhaenyra and Daemon.

Jace gave her a smile and a nod of encouragement, which she returned.

They passed Alicent, who was seated near the front with Jack perched on her lap, his little face beaming with excitement. Y.N's heart melted at the sight of her son.

"I love you," she whispered as they passed.

"Love you, Mama," Jack replied in a sweet, clear voice, causing her to smile even wider.

As they neared the altar, Y.N’s eyes locked on Aemond. He stood tall, his hands clasped behind his back, his gaze never leaving her.

A slight smile curved his lips as she approached, and when she reached him, he turned fully to face her.

Aegon pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before placing her hand in Aemond's. "Take good care of her, brother," he said with a teasing smirk but an undertone of sincerity.

Aemond nodded, his gaze fixed solely on Y.N. "Always."

As they stood facing each other, Y.N couldn't help but notice the tear that slipped down Aemond’s cheek. He smiled through it, his eye brimming with emotion.

"You look so beautiful," he whispered, his voice thick with love.

Y.N gently reached up, wiping the tear from his cheek with her thumb. "So do you," she replied softly, her voice trembling with the weight of the moment.

Before they exchanged their vows, Aemond reached up and, in a symbolic gesture, removed his eyepatch.

The sapphire that replaced his lost eye gleamed in the sunlight, a mark of both his past and the man he had become.

The priest began the ceremony, guiding them through the traditional vows. Y.N and Aemond recited their promises to each other, their voices steady but filled with emotion.

They exchanged rings, the bands symbolizing their unbreakable bond.

Finally, the priest smiled warmly and declared, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. Aemond, you may kiss the bride."

Aemond didn’t hesitate. He cupped Y.N's face in his hands, his touch gentle yet possessive.

Their lips met in a kiss that was both tender and passionate, sealing their vows as the guests erupted into loud applause.

In that moment, nothing else mattered. They were married, bound together in love, with their family and friends cheering them on.

Aemond and Y.N stood there, lost in each other’s gaze, knowing that their future together had only just begun.

The reception was in full swing. The manor’s grand ballroom had been transformed into an elegant space filled with soft candlelight and flowers, and the guests were seated around beautifully adorned tables.

Laughter and chatter filled the air as the celebration continued. Aemond rose from his seat, glass in hand, tapping it lightly to catch everyone's attention.

As the room quieted, Aemond looked across the crowd, his gaze eventually landing on Y.N. His heart swelled as he spoke, his voice steady but full of emotion.

“I am blessed beyond words to have you as my wife,” he began, his eye never leaving hers. “After I lost my eye, I never believed I would find anyone who could love me, truly love me, for who I am. I had convinced myself that someone like you was beyond my reach. But then, I saw you. From the moment you took my hand, I dreamt of this day—the day I could call you mine, and the day you would become my wife.”

Y.N felt tears welling up, and she squeezed his hand tightly.

Aemond smiled, his voice thick with emotion as he addressed the guests. “To stand here today, in front of family and friends, and to proudly call you my wife-I can say with absolute certainty: never give up on your dreams, because I have living proof that they do come true.”

The room erupted into applause, glasses raised in celebration. Aemond sat down, and Y.N leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, her heart overflowing with love and pride.

After the applause died down, Y.N surprised everyone by standing up. “I know it’s not traditional for the bride to give a speech,” she began, smiling shyly, “but I just wanted to say something.”

She turned to Aemond, her eyes soft and filled with emotion. “Aemond, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was afraid at first, afraid that you were too good to be true. That maybe I didn’t deserve someone so pure, so beautiful, and so loving as you are.”

The guests listened intently as Y.N’s voice grew more confident, her love for Aemond shining through her words. “But here we are, surrounded by the people I love most, and I feel so proud—so blessed—to be your wife. Aemond, I was born to love you, and I always will.”

As she sat down, cheeks flushed from the heartfelt speech, Aemond cupped her face gently and kissed her, pulling her close.

The room was filled with warm smiles, and just as they broke apart, Aegon’s voice cut through the moment with a loud, teasing shout, “Get a room!”

The guests laughed, and Y.N giggled, leaning into Aemond as the love and joy of the day filled the room.

Soon, it was time to eat. The guests were served their wedding feast, a traditional three-course meal. For starters, there was a choice of soups—creamy tomato and basil or a hearty vegetable broth.

The main course was a beautifully prepared roast dinner, with a vegetarian and vegan option for those who preferred.

The tables buzzed with contentment as guests enjoyed their meals, and the dessert came in the form of a tempting selection of puddings—sticky toffee, chocolate mousse, and fruit tarts.

Y.N glanced around at the room, feeling utterly content. Everything was perfect, but more than the decorations or the food, it was the people around her, and most of all, the man sitting next to her, that made this day the happiest of her life.

Aemond reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as they shared a quiet, loving look amidst the celebration.

The reception had carried on into the evening, with music filling the manor and laughter spilling out from the dance floor. As the night wore on, the moment came for Aemond and Y.N to share their first dance as husband and wife.

The lights dimmed, and the guests gathered around the dance floor, excited murmurs in the air.

The soft opening notes of Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love” began to play, and Y.N felt a flutter of excitement in her chest as Aemond took her hand.

Together, they walked to the center of the dance floor, the crowd parting for them.

Aemond wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, while Y.N looped hers around his neck, their bodies swaying gently to the music.

His touch was tender, his forehead resting against hers as they moved in time with the song. The world around them seemed to blur, leaving just the two of them in their own perfect moment.

“I love you so much,” Aemond whispered softly, his voice filled with emotion as he gazed into her eyes, his thumb tracing small circles on her back.

Y.N smiled, her heart brimming with joy, and she leaned in to whisper in his ear, “I’m pregnant again.”

Aemond froze for a moment, pulling back slightly to look at her, his eye wide with surprise and a huge grin spreading across his face.

“Are you really?” he asked, his voice laced with disbelief and happiness.

“Yes,” Y.N nodded, her smile widening. “I did the test last night.”

Aemond let out a soft laugh, overwhelmed with emotion, and his hand instinctively moved to her stomach. “We’re having another baby,” he whispered, his voice filled with awe.

Just then, a small voice broke the moment. “Mama! Dada!” shouted Jack as he came toddling over to them with his arms outstretched.

Aemond bent down, picking up their son and holding him between them. “Come here” he said, smiling as Jack nestled into his chest.

The three of them swayed together in a perfect family embrace, still moving to the music.

“Mama so pretty,” Jack said, his little hand reaching out to touch Y.N’s face.

Aemond smiled at his son’s words and nodded. “I agree,” he said softly, “your mama is very pretty.”

Jack then reached up and gently stroked the scarred side of Aemond’s face. “Love you, Dada,” his innocent voice, his wide eyes filled with affection.

Aemond’s heart swelled, and he leaned into kiss Jack’s forehead. “I love you too, my dragon-”

The night was still in full swing as Aemond made his rounds on the dance floor, enjoying the company of his family.

After the emotional first dance with Y.N., he turned to his mother, Alicent. With a tender smile, Aemond offered her his hand.

"May I have this dance, Mother?" he asked.

Alicent beamed with pride, taking his hand as they began to sway to the soft music. “You’ve grown into such a fine man, Aemond. I’m so proud of you,” she whispered, her voice full of warmth.

Aemond gave her a small smile, the two sharing a quiet moment, lost in the rhythm of the music.

When the dance ended, Aemond kissed her hand and thanked her before turning to his sister, Helaena.

“Hellie, would you care to dance?” he asked.

Helaena giggled and accepted. The two of them spun gracefully around the dance floor,

Helaena’s light laughter floating through the air. "Your very happy” she noted, her observant eyes watching her brother.

“I am,” Aemond replied, glancing across the room at Y.N., who was dancing with Aegon.

After their dance, Aemond surprised everyone by extending his hand to Rhaenyra.

A few raised eyebrows greeted the gesture, except for Daemon as Aemond wasn’t sure he actually had eyebrows but Rhaenyra smiled softly and accepted.

“It’s nice to see you at peace little brother-” Rhaenyra said as they danced, the tension that had once been between them all but dissolved.

“Thank you for being here sister-” Aemond replied, surprising her with his sincerity.

The two shared a moment of mutual respect before parting ways as the song ended.

Meanwhile, Y.N. was sharing her own dances. Aegon had led her in a playful spin around the dance floor, followed by Daeron, who kept things more formal but couldn’t hide his joy for his brother.

Just as Y.N. was about to sit down, Jace appeared, offering her his hand.

“May I?” Jace asked with a charming smile.

Y.N. smiled back, accepting his hand. They moved together smoothly on the dance floor, and Jace took a moment to compliment her. “You look beautiful tonight,” he said sincerely.

“Thank you, Jacey,” Y.N. replied, feeling at ease with him.

As they continued to dance, Y.N. expressed her gratitude. “Thank you for coming, Jace. It really means a lot”

Jace gave her a warm smile. “It was nice to receive an invite, after everything.”

Y.N. nodded, understanding the weight of his words. “It’s a shame Luke couldn’t be here, but-for obvious reasons, it’s probably for the best.”

Jace chuckled. “Yeah, probably would’ve found him face-down in the buffet by now.”

Y.N. laughed, the sound light and genuine. “True.”

“I’m glad to see you’re happy,” Jace said softly, his gaze sincere.

“I am,” Y.N. confirmed, her voice steady and content.

Before Jace could say anything else, Aemond appeared, clearing his throat as he approached them.

Jace glanced at Aemond and smiled, leaning in to press a friendly kiss to Y.N.'s cheek. “Look after her,” he told Aemond.

“I will,” Aemond promised, his hand resting possessively on Y.N.'s waist.

After their dance ended, Y.N. excused herself, needing to sit down for a moment. She found a seat next to Aegon, who looked a bit sulky.

“What’s wrong?” Y.N. asked, noticing his pout.

Aegon groaned, “The nice waitress won’t give me a second look. I told her she was beautiful, and she got all huffy.”

Y.N. raised an eyebrow. “Okay-what exactly did you say?”

“I just said she was beautiful, and then she asked if that’s all that mattered to me. I said, what else is there-and she stormed off,” Aegon recounted, looking genuinely baffled.

Y.N. shook her head with a sigh. “Oh dear.”

“I know,” Aegon muttered.

“Have you ever thought of writing a book?” Y.N. asked.

Aegon looked at her, confused. “A book?”

“Yeah, you could call it How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less,” Y.N. teased.

Aegon groaned dramatically. “I haven’t been laid in weeks! I’m worried it’s going to drop off from lack of use-”

Y.N. smirked. “Poor you. Must be awful.”

“It is,” Aegon complained, sinking further into his chair.

Y.N. sighed, looking at him with pity. “Why don’t you go and apologize to the girl? Tell her that whilst you do find her beautiful, you’re also interested in getting to know her as a person. And while you’re at it, you can apologize for being a complete arse-.”

Aegon looked uncertain. “You think that’ll work?”

“You’ll never know unless you try. Now go on,” Y.N. urged him.

Aegon downed the rest of his drink, pressed a sloppy kiss to Y.N.'s cheek, and got up.

With renewed determination, he headed over to the waitress, leaving Y.N. shaking her head and chuckling as she watched him.

As the night began to wind down, Aemond and Y.N. made their way to Jack, who was sitting on Alicent's lap, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

It was getting late, and the little boy was clearly ready for bed. Aemond knelt down in front of him, gently brushing a strand of hair from Jack's forehead.

"Time for bed, little one," Aemond said softly.

Jack looked up at him with sleepy eyes, a small smile forming on his lips. "Love you, Dada," he murmured.

"I love you too, buddy," Aemond whispered, kissing him on the forehead. Y.N. leaned down next, pressing a gentle kiss to Jack's cheek.

"Goodnight, sweet boy. Mama loves you," she whispered.

Jack yawned again and mumbled, "Love you, Mama," before snuggling into Alicent’s arms.

Alicent smiled warmly at the pair. "I'll get him ready for bed and keep an eye on him tonight. You two go enjoy your evening."

"Thank you, Mother," Aemond said, standing and taking Y.N.'s hand as they both nodded gratefully at Alicent.

As they moved back to the main area, they were met by Rhaenyra, Daemon, and Jace, who were making their way over to say their goodbyes.

“Congratulations again,” Rhaenyra said, pulling Y.N. into a hug. “It was a beautiful ceremony.”

Daemon clapped Aemond on the shoulder, offering a rare, sincere smile. "You’ve done well. Best of luck to you both."

Jace offered his hand to Aemond, who accepted it with a firm shake, before turning to Y.N. and giving her a smile.

As they bid their farewells, the remaining guests trickled out one by one until only Aemond, Y.N., Helaena, and Daeron remained.

Daeron, who had been lounging comfortably in a chair, suddenly looked around and asked, "Where's Aegon?"

Y.N. laughed softly, leaning back against Aemond. "I think he might have gotten lucky with that waitress."

Right on cue, Aegon appeared in the doorway, looking a bit dishevelled, his shirt half-buttoned and his hair tousled.

He strolled into the room with a self-satisfied grin plastered on his face. "I sure did," he said, a little too proudly.

Aemond rolled his eye, motioning to Aegon’s mismatched buttons. "You haven’t even dressed yourself properly."

Aegon looked down at his shirt and giggled as he fumbled with the buttons, fixing them. "Oops."

Y.N. couldn't help but laugh. "So, how'd it go?" she asked, genuinely curious.

Aegon let out a contented sigh as he sat down. "Oh, it was fantastic."

Y.N. rolled her eyes. "No, not that. I meant, did you actually apologize for being an arse and tell her you wanted to get to know her?"

Aegon grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Well, I intended to say all that-but when I opened my mouth, I sort of promised her that if she gave me a chance, she wouldn’t be walking straight tomorrow."

Daeron gasped in disbelief. "And that worked?"

"Oh, yeah, it worked,” Aegon said with a smug smile. “I gave her a good going over. She’s currently asleep in the guest room."

Aemond groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You’ve left a stranger asleep in my house?"

Aegon shrugged. "She’s not a stranger—her name is-Laura? No, Lina! And I fully intend to go back there for another round in a bit. Gotta make good on my promise."

Y.N. laughed, shaking her head. "You're such a twat."

Aegon just grinned wider. "Yeah, I know."

Aemond stood up and offered Y.N. his hand, his voice gentle but firm. “It’s time we got going.”

Aegon glanced up at them, confused. "Where are you going?"

Before Aemond could answer, Helaena chimed in. “They’re going to a hotel for the night. Mother is staying here with Jack.”

Aegon’s eyes widened in realization. "Oh yeah—wait, Mother’s staying the night?" His expression quickly turned mischievous. "Best tell my girl to keep quiet, she’s a bit of a screamer."

Daeron groaned, his face contorting in horror. "Right, that’s it. I’m going to bed. I just pray that I remembered to pack earplugs."

As Daeron made a hasty exit, Aemond shook his head, pulling Y.N. closer.

He gave Aegon one last exasperated look before leading his bride toward the door, eager to finally have some time alone with her.

“Good luck with that, brother,” Aemond muttered under his breath, causing Y.N. to stifle a giggle as they headed out, leaving Aegon and his questionable decisions behind for the night.

The warm steam of the hot tub swirled gently into the night air as Aemond relaxed against the edge, his back resting between Y.N.'s legs as she dipped her feet into the bubbling water.

A soft sigh escaped him as her fingers worked into the muscles of his shoulders, easing away any lingering tension from the long and emotional day. He held a glass of champagne in one hand, lazily swirling the liquid.

"This feels awful," he muttered, taking a sip. "Drinking alcohol when you can't."

Y.N. chuckled softly from behind him, her fingers still kneading his shoulders. "It's our wedding night, Aemond. You deserve to get plastered."

He glanced up at her with a smile, appreciating her sense of humour as always. "Thank the gods this place includes breakfast," he mused, "because I’m going to need a bit of stodge to soak up all this drink."

Y.N. laughed, her soft voice carrying over the quiet of the night. The sound of water gently lapping against the sides of the tub mixed with their shared warmth and closeness, making the moment feel even more intimate.

Aemond closed his eye, leaning further into her touch as she continued her gentle massage.

"You’re not disappointed we didn’t go on a proper honeymoon, are you?" he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"Not at all," Y.N. replied, her hands moving up to his neck, her thumbs working gentle circles against his skin. "I actually prefer this. I’m not ready to leave Jack for more than a night yet."

Aemond gave a small hum of agreement. "Me either, to be honest," he admitted. He loved their son fiercely, and the thought of being far from him for an extended time didn’t sit well. "Maybe when the kids are older, we can get away properly."

"Yeah, maybe," she agreed softly, her fingers drifting up into his hair, combing through the damp strands with gentle strokes.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, simply enjoying each other’s presence and the serenity of the night.

Aemond groaned softly in pleasure as Y.N.'s fingers worked their magic. "I wish you were in here with me," he murmured, tipping his head back slightly to look up at her.

"So do I," Y.N. replied, smiling down at him. "But it’s not safe for the baby."

Her hands continued to stroke through his hair, the act more intimate than any words they could share at that moment.

"I love you so much," Aemond whispered, his voice filled with raw emotion.

Y.N. leaned down, her lips brushing his temple as she whispered back, "I love you too, Aemond. More than anything."

They stayed like that, wrapped in the warmth of the hot tub and the love they had built together, the night perfect in its simplicity.

It wasn’t the grand honeymoon that some would expect, but it was theirs—and that was all that mattered.

The End.

[matramancer]

🌸KIKORU THE WINGMAN | Narumi Gen x Mitsuri! reader

Synopsis: As much as she admires her two mentors, seeing the two of you pine over each other was INFURIATING. Perhaps it was time to take matters into her own hands. Unfortunately.

part 1 | Mitsuri! reader Masterlist

Tags: fem! reader, HCs w scenarios, Narumi x reader, Kikoru and Mitsuri!reader found family ft. Narumi, JEALOUS NARUMI, Narumi Gen is an idiot, fluff, mutual pining, Kikoru the wingman

By the time Kikoru’s batch rolls in, she’s already gotten word about several of the unique heavy hitters in the force. She wasn’t her father’s daughter for nothing–an extensive knowledge of the Defense Force is a part of keeping yourself up in the game.

She knew about the infamous First Division—home of Japan’s Strongest Anti-Kaiju Combatant, and the more recent officer who made a name for herself as the Pillar of Love.

However, it still didn’t prepare her for the rather… lousy introduction her supposed new captain and mentor gave her. And the chronic gaming addiction. And the Yamazon addiction. And everything else in between.

When she thought things couldn’t get any rowdier, she was very bombastically introduced to you. 

“Captain Narumi! You wanted to see me?” The blonde turns at the new voice entering her ears, your figure standing by the doorway. At a glance, she was taken aback at the mountain of sakura mochi on a tray in your hands, your expression an immediate stark contrast to all the officers she’s ever seen in the force.

As she locked eyes with you, your smile only widened, and Kikoru wondered if it was possible for a human to emit their own light source. 

Nothing however prepared her for your figure to zero in on her in a flash,  your movements so abrupt she had to take a few steps back to process them. “HELLOOO! YOU’RE SO CUTE! Do you want some sakura mochi? Though I only have a little.” A little?! You were holding a MOUNTAIN!

“Platoon leader (L/N)! Great timing!” Hasegawa keeps his grip strong on Narumi, even as he wriggles about. The man then proceeded to point at his BS5, which the other officers in the room were trying to fit into a trash bag. “HELP ME FARM A DUNGEON! IF WE START NOW WE CAN 100% IT TONIGHT!”

The room is silent as Kikoru watches on, mortified. Hasegawa is seconds away from bloody murder. You were still holding onto your plate of sakura mochi.

“…I’ll just leave these here.” you set down the plate and slowly try to make your escape— “COME BACK HERE PLATOON LEADER!”

If it weren't for the kaiju attack that happened soon after, Narumi’s image would’ve been permanently tarnished in Kikoru’s eyes.

And not only that, she actually also caught a glimpse of you in battle—that was when you really made an impression on her. She solidified her choice by then. She was going to get stronger, with your help.

Although Kikoru was mainly Narumi’s disciple, it soon became clear that the responsibility had also fallen to you. If Narumi wasn’t training her, you were.

It was really based on two things. One, you already spent lots of time training with Narumi, and second, Kikoru had approached you herself.

“You want to train together?” You blinked owlishly as Kikoru stood before you.

“Yes. I saw how you fought–” Kikoru starts. Truth to be told, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of you. She was assigned to your platoon, which gave her front row seats to you on the battlefield. “--Those maneuvers you did, your consistent energy distribution…”

She recounts the battle she witnessed, finding herself staring in awe as you finished off a group of yoju with your machine gun, before strapping said weapon to your back and immediately winding through the street with fast maneuvers. Even with the suit, your speed paired with such strength belonged to no one in the low combat power bracket. Then, the next thing she heard was your unwavering voice, commencing that the neutralization in your zone was complete. 

She was absolutely flabbergasted. She hadn’t even registered the weird shape of your sword before you sprung forward, flooring her even more with your superhuman strength. She was a bearer of a heavy weapon herself, but seeing you jump so cleanly with all the weight of your weaponry was on another level. Not to mention how precise each and every move you did was. Anyone with a lower level of skill would’ve cut themselves with that sword!

On the other side of the comms, she hears Narumi send her a taunting chuckle. “You seeing this, newbie? You’re going to have to go on par with that.”

Back to the training grounds, she holds a determined expression on her face, surprising you with a bow, even. “...It would be an honor for you to train me, Platoon Leader.”

“Eh–EH?!?!?!?!?” Kikoru looks up from her bow to see your nervous stupor, a complete 180 from what she saw a mere two hours ago. “ME?!?!?!?!!?” Yes, you. 

(Kikoru does not know if she made the right choice).

Usually, you’d be correcting Kikoru’s form and giving her pointers, then holding a sparring session to demonstrate how your techniques flowed. In particular instances where you both used your weapons, you’d move to the specialized training areas.

Narumi in all of his glory would be stuck to his console before you unceremoniously plucked him away from his lawn chair and forced him to participate.

During her training, there was one particular day that stuck out for her. The day she watched you and Narumi spar for the first time.

For once, Narumi had a look that was indescribably amused hidden under his normal demeanor. Excited even. He was the one that initiated it, after all.

“Kikoru, watch.” He says, a lazy smile curling on his lips as he gets into position. A hand to hand spar .No weapons, no gear.

“--I wanted to say that!” You sulked a bit in your mind, biting your lip.

Whenever the two of you sparred, it was always a spectacle. That much was evident on Kikoru’s expression as the two of you went at it, the lighthearted banter from prior completely abandoned as Narumi went on the full offensive.

He was ruthless, not sparing a single punch even as you took a defensive note in your steps. Even if you were dodging his blows, you did so very narrowly.

And then, you flew. An elegant figure belonging to the one deserving of the title “Love Pillar”. Your body twists and contorts with not only polished skill but extreme calculation. If you were even a centimeter off base, Narumi would finish you. It was like you knew where to dodge, and Narumi knew where to hit.

Every single one of your moves had so much thought put into them, which made sense given your weapon of choice. Similarly, Narumi was a master at switching stances, knowing when exactly to go on the defensive before he’s sending another strike to your hazy figure.

It was then that Kikoru realized that she wasn’t just watching any fight–but a culmination of efforts and hardwork that brought the two of you together in this ring. An undoubted match up of strength that solidified your places in the force. That solidified your positions next to each other in battle.

Yeah, she’s never gonna doubt you guys again (or at least, your strengths) as she watches the fight come to a close, courtesy of an announcement by the megaspeakers.

Narumi curses as he hears news of the 3rd Division’s arrival, already muttering not so clean words at the mere thought of their vice captain (you on the other hand were the total opposite, excited at the prospect of seeing some long distance friends).

“We’re going to crush them!” Narumi grunted, cracking his knuckles with the biggest stink eye while you happily tugged Kikoru along, not interested in hampering the mood. “I wonder if we can catch the captain and vice captain! You must miss them, right Kikoru?”

“Haah?! Don’t you DARE even mention Hoshina’s name!” Your captain’s rage immediately intensifies, like a man out for murder. Something Kikoru wanted no part of. 

Unfortunately for poor Kikoru, out of pure bad luck and personal circumstance, she had unintentionally gotten herself caught in the front view seats of her captain slash mentor’s unexpected dilemma.

You ignored Narumi’s blatant hostility, smiling ear to ear. You couldn’t wait to catch up with your friends. “Just in time for lunch too! I wonder what’s on the menu…”

Narumi zeroes in on this, already knowing the answer. In fact, he’d even request the chefs to make today’s portions extra bountiful, under the guise of the 3rd Division’s visit.

He cleared his throat, “casually” mentioning your favorite food, and your reaction after is expectedly, a surge of excitement.

Having spent lots of time with you already, Kikoru thought nothing of it–your attitude with a superior present was certainly a bit unrestrained, sure, but after seeing your bond with Narumi, she chalked it up to you guys just having mutual respect and friendship. 

Yeah, friendship. Her eyes drift a bit to Narumi, seeing his side profile. Surely, with Narumi being super nonchalant about all this, he was…

wait. 

She sees it. Bared witness to it. Lays eyes on it.

A TINT of red on his cheeks. And the aversion of his eyes soon after.

Oh no. Oh no no no. OH NO.

She refuses to get involved, not in the lives of her superiors and DEFINITELY not in the sad lack of love life that belonged to loser master Narumi.

Okay, it was a bit impossible not to. Not when it was one of those things that you’d definitely always notice after realizing it once. And she was spending hours every day with these people.

In Narumi’s defense, he didn’t know how or when it happened. He didn’t even really take note of you until around the time where you earned his acknowledgement, as harshly as that sounded. 

His principles, his life revolved around results. Around skills. Around the Defense Force. As far as he was concerned (and hilariously mortified at), you suddenly carving your presence in his psyche and imprinting your being into his heart was not part of any life plans he had in particular. 

Sure you got more and more involved with him, sure you just became a regular part of his day, sure you were the number one person he’s most comfortable fighting side by side with, but as anticlimactic as it was, there was nothing spectacular involved. He just noticed it one day.

He especially realizes that something about you in him has changed when he barges in on two officers (nobodies, he didn’t even bother to remember their faces) throwing jabs at how air-headed you seemed. Without even thinking, his brows had furrowed and a scowl was already forming from his face, and when he came to, the officers had already scurried.

At first, he thought it was just acknowledgement and respect for your strength. But thinking about anyone–or anything badmouthing you, calling you names or underestimating you for just being yourself absolutely had him seething.

He got more particular about you all of a sudden as the feelings hit him. He thinks about it all–Your already bright smile that widened just a bit more when you saw him. How you lit up, whether it was from a good day of training with him, or when he would surprise you with a meal. How he has your face memorized by then. He especially loved when you were enjoying a good lunch by his side, when you won a game together, and–

Huh, that’s particular… Did he always notice all of that stuff from you?

Kikoru knew it was over for him when you gathered in the mess hall, and although Narumi had his console in hand, she saw him sneak more than a few glances to your ever joyous figure, your 5th bowl in hand as you excitedly chatted with Captain Ashiro.

And his eyes were full of love.

Hell, he was still quipping with Hoshina, but that’s exactly the thing. The four of you were sitting on the same table in close proximity. Rivalries aside, you were quite good friends with Mina and Hoshina and were always one for conversation, but he and the Vice Captain were usually at each other’s throats. Why was Narumi willingly sitting through this? CALMLY, no less.

These people (you two) were driving her NUTS. Crazy even. It was tolerable at first, hell, things were smooth sailing when she was none the wiser. But now? His lingering gazes, how he lights up when he gets texts from you, how he’s been pushing for your presence more and more often…

 Don’t get her started on the special treatment. Did he think he was being smooth?! Kikoru was LOSING it! 

Kafka, oh poor Kafka, got dragged into this mess too, via Kikoru finally spilling the beans in a frustrated burst of emotions.

“I can’t take it. It’s disgusting,” she feels like tearing her twintails out, airing out her grievances to Kafka. “The Captain is bad enough as he is.”

The older man just scratches his head with an awkward laugh. The situation reminds him a bit of his high school days. “Well, sometimes the best way to make it stop is to let it happen. Sorry, Kikoru. Young love calls.”

Kikoru groans. “Nevermind that. I don’t know what’s worse. How hard he’s trying–”

Their gazes land on the training grounds where you were chatting with Mina again, before Narumi’s figure emerges from your side as he offers your favorite grilled onigiri nonchalantly. As you thank him with a smile, you‘re completely clueless over how even Mina notices the way his hand brushed against yours for a tad bit too long. How he’s so clearly not doing this for just anyone.

“--Or how oblivious she is.”

So begins the adventures of Kikoru the unwilling wingman.

As much as she’s unwillingly involved in… whatever this was, she joined the Defense Force for a clear reason. She’s not going to toil on this and let it hinder the progress of her training, for her life’s mission.

But there are times where she throws in a gentle push. Not directly getting involved in things by the slightest, but you were quite the talker. What better way than to plant the idea in your head and handle your obliviousness this way?

She ended up learning a few things–one, you were obviously super comfortable with Narumi. Two–you amassed a great deal of respect for him, and was gracious over the opportunity you had to get close with him. REALLY close. Receiving surprise gifts and playing games together in secret during the night type of close. Three–despite all that, you had no idea about the obvious truth.

“You better pay me back for this, idiot master.” Kikoru thinks to herself sometimes.

Don’t mention how you were so good at love advice (love pillar and all, it’s in the name), having been a good ear and cupid for the 1st Division when clearly the one who needed that the most was you. It only frustrates Kikoru more.

So how does Kikoru function as a wingman despite her total unwillingness? Well, she does it through the most unconventional methods… Which is to steal you away from her idiot master instead!It’s a win-win, because she gets to one up her captain and not suffer any consequences–lest he upsets YOU.

On the occasions where Narumi wants to train one on one with you? Nope–Kikoru booked a slot first. You’ve got Friday off? Whoops, girl’s day out with Kikoru and she made you promise. 

It was peak “I’m just a girl”. A concept you loved and could heavily indulge in with Kikoru. You’re not sidelining the things you love doing with Narumi, you’re moreover doing things that were more up to you and Kikoru’s forte.

How could you not? Kikoru was an absolute sweetheart, and you’d taken to her like a mother duck. Not only did she see you as a mentor now, but also as a sister figure.

 When she started to call you nee-san, you were absolutely ecstatic.

Narumi was understanding. At first. But when even your gaming sessions, which was a sacred bonding time for the both of you, had been slowly taken over by Kikoru’s rendezvouses, that was when the seeds of jealousy started to plow through his skull.

“Ah, Kikoru-chan wants to go shopping.” “Can’t, sorry Narugen! I got tickets with Kikoru and Rin…” “No way! That’s OUR Gossip Girl rewatch marathon and you’re not allowed in.”

And oh does it work. It DEFINITELY started a reaction in him. Narumi has upgraded her status from idiot disciple to menace. 

All of a sudden, a new competition rolled in town, and the First Division had a new point of interest to watch.

The rivalry of Isao’s brightest disciple vs his rising star daughter for the attention of the Love Pillar. (Coming to a division near you!)

Both are now vying for your compliments, and sometimes the comms get so loud with their bickering that the operations room has to work overtime over the noise pollution.

Narumi is seething because it seems like Kikoru always wins, your attention so doting on her, your favor clearly present as you never fail to praise her. Hell, the little brat was now on HUGGING terms with you! You even braid her hair the way you did yours some nights. It was driving him crazy.

Kafka’s also always at the scene in the worst timing possible. At more than one instance, he’d walk into the training grounds just as Kikoru successfully stole you away again, and he was forced to endure his daily training under an unmerciless Narumi Gen in a bitter mood.

What made him grumble at the same time was as much as he hated how Kikoru was monopolizing you, you looked absolutely joyous enjoying things with her–and he just couldn’t take that happiness away from you. No, he absolutely won’t allow it.

He wouldn’t ever reveal it so lightly at this point in time, but you meant so much to him.

And as he grows more and more obvious with the shift in his demeanor, how much he’s wagging his tail, even Hoshina had noticed and sent his tips to the betting pool.

If it weren’t for Kikoru’s sleight of hand however, the slow burn you had with Gen would’ve probably lasted longer than the existence of kaiju itself.

When he’s FINALLY able to steal you away from Kikoru, he’s taken aback by how vigorously he was vying for your time in the first place. How he felt so victorious over catching that empty spot in your schedule before his menace of a mentee dragged you away from him.

And when he finally catches himself unable to hold back a grin as he sees you all dressed up pretty on the train with him, it hits him deeply with the realization that you had made yourself home in his consciousness. That he values the many moments he gets to spend with you so much. 

Maybe that was okay. Maybe he wants to treasure the little moments he has with you. Maybe… maybe this normalcy the two of you fostered together was alright.

You made him feel normal. Like the two of you were just young adults given a glimpse of a life outside of the Defense Force, where he could imagine days like this with you to come. Like he was just a boy, no captain or anything. And you saw him as just that.

That was what went through his mind on a nice afternoon out in the city, Narumi insisting he be the first to bring you to this new restaurant that served your favorite kind of dishes.

Equipped with disguise gear of great caliber (a mask, sunglasses, and two hats you had lying around), the two of you comb through the crane games and rhythm machines in the arcade, working up an appetite an hour before your reservation. 

His eyes couldn’t stop glancing at your excited figure at the small plushies in the crane games. He chose your favorite songs on maimai. He made sure to reserve seats in the restaurant beforehand and nearly even used his name card to guarantee them.

And later on, when Kikoru’s eyes scanned the photostrip you were showing her taken at a purikura booth you and Narumi tried, she nearly fell down over how loving his gaze was on the last pic.

When it was finally time to enjoy your meal, you were beaming in absolute delight as you finished bowl after bowl, plate after plate, offering Narumi a share of everything. 

He gladly accepted, absolutely reveling in how you spoiled him. Especially with how there was no Hasegawa around to hold you back. He was practically on your lap, figuratively.

Yapper gf x listener bf to the max as he sat beside you with an expression so soft in comparison to the rest of his unruly personality, being absolutely glued to everything about you.

Well, that was when he was facing you. Narumi had secretly turned away and glared at any other patrons who dared to even attempt to send a nasty look your way from “how much you were eating” . 

“You got a problem with that? Do you want me to shove the rest of the food down your throat instead, huh?” Was what Narumi’s intense glare communicated, immediately causing the aforementioned judgemental patrons to look away in embarrassment.

Then, he’d immediately whip his head back when you addressed him, completely at your mercy. 

As you finished the last of your food, you were completely obvious to Narumi’s sudden change of demeanor, a wave of nervousness washing over him as he fidgets with the inside of his pocket.

He hopes you’ll like this gift of his.

[restaurant scenario - coming soon]

“I had lots of fun today!” You gushed with your usual cheerful demeanor, sinking into the bathwater next to Rin and Kikoru. You were recounting the eventful afternoon you had to them. “I have so many new plushies now, and there’s so many new stores in that shopping district that just reopened. Let’s go there together next time!”

Kikoru huffed a bit, hearing about your day. She was both lightly covetous over how Narumi somehow managed to steal a slot of your time before her, having grown very attached to you and your attention, yet at the same time, she was absolutely floored at just how smitten her idiot mentor was for you from all the pictures, videos, and stories you showed her when practice finished. If anyone who didn’t know any better saw these, they’d IMMEDIATELY assume it was a date. Hell, that was what Rin thought when she joined the conversation!

You in your Sunday best? Taking you to a specialty restaurant that had your favorite food? Sharing bites? Winning you all those plushies? And…

She recalls just how eye catching the subtle change of your appearance was to her when you returned to the base with him. When you didn’t take off the new item you acquired until you hit the showers.

“Gen got me this today,” as you finally removed the accessory from your hair, you eagerly showed Kikoru and Rin the gift Narumi got you, barely noticing the other two girls’ wide-eyed, open mouthed stare at three things. One, how you addressed your superior, THE Narumi Gen by his first name so lightly. Second, THE Narumi Gen being thoughtful and paying attention to your tastes. He knew you loved cute things. Third, how your cheeks were glowing just a bit more radiant, how your tone had a slight change to it. How…

The love in your eyes was so evident.

“You’re so dense,” Rin’s comment brings Kikoru back to the present, the former crossing her arms and furrowing her brows. “Are we not seeing the same things here?” She continues, recalling all the times he’d been so partial to you. He’s still mean to you, yes, but there’s such an obvious touch of softness and mutual standing there that everything just speaks for itself.

You blink. “What things?”

Rin sighs, more than familiar with your disposition. “You’re going to kill me.”

The blonde watches as you haphazardly rise up from the water in a frenzy, Rin screaming as you dart towards her direction, arms reaching out to catch her. Water spills in every direction as you wrestle each other in the tub, you bleating pathetically for answers while Rin attempts to fight you off.

“SPILLLLLLL!” The other woman shrieks as you push into her body, a comedic expression on your face as you tackle her sides.

Immediately trying to regain her balance, Rin lets out a chorus of strangled noises as your body pressed against hers, desperately trying to squeeze out an answer. She attempts to steady both of your bodies as she feels you move around way too frantically. “HOLY SHIT– Your breasts are going to spill out BE CAREFUL–OI!”

“TELL ME RIN!!” You cry out again.

“IT’S LITERALLY SPELLED OUT IN FRONT OF YOU, YOU DUMMY!”

“WHAT IF I CAN’T READ?!”

Amidst all the banter, Kikoru finds herself lost to her thoughts, drifting back to her thoughts of you and Narumi. She couldn’t wrap her head around it at first, but something felt so familiar…

Then, it hits her, recalling the stories between her own parents during their youth in the Defense Force. How Hikari Shinomiya was quite the spunky, passionate youth akin to her namesake, and how Isao Shinomiya was the much mellower, passive homebody, yet had loved her with so much passion all the same. 

History seemed to repeat itself.

At the sound of the water splashing, you watch in surprise as the top of Kikoru’s head dives down into the tub, seeing air bubbles form on the top. You quickly call out to her in concern. “Kikoru-chan?!”

“I didn’t expect it to work too well…”

--

i cant wait to write out what went down in that restaurant... here's the expression that Gen remembers the most, and the face he fell in love with. waaaaa

[mikashisus]

EMPIRE OF BLOOD

01. when does a man become a monster

TAGLIST ! @tragedy-of-commons @https-sourlimes @ughscara @yourfavoritefreakyhan @wystiix

NOTES: first chapter yippee!! i actually adore this chapter and it'll be hard for me to have a new fav chapter after this. i think the only chapter that could one-up this one would be the ball chapter, which... will not come until wayyy later. i already wrote half of it. this whole fic has been written out of chronological order LMAOO

WC: 4.3k

masterlist | next

You were eleven years old when you first killed a man. 

The searing pain under your skin did nothing to help the immense shock you felt upon watching as the light left the man’s eyes. 

With shaky hands that were stained entirely in fresh, warm blood, you released him from your grip and watched as his lifeless body fell to the ground. His head lolled to the side, his neck almost completely detached from the rest of his body. 

The ghastly sight made you feel like you were about to vomit. You gagged, a few coughs following after before you wrapped your arms around your middle and hurled up your half eaten breakfast. More coughs followed and you wiped your lips with the hem of your ragged dress. 

A sense of panic welled within you as you realized what you had just done. You scrambled away from the dead body of a Mondstadt nobleman. A few helpless screams left your mouth, loud enough to alert a group of knights nearby. Your throat was burning, your screams coming out in hoarse chokes. 

Finally ripping your eyes away from the man’s maimed body, you stared down at your shaking hands. Your vision blurred as you tried to steady your breathing. It was to no avail. The air in your lungs felt thin, and your throat felt like it was closing up. Your lungs tightened, and it became increasingly harder to breathe. 

At the lack of oxygen, you panicked even more. One of your hands reached up to claw at your throat, leaving trails of crimson stains in its wake. 

A soothing voice pierced your ears amidst the loud ringing. 

“You are not alone. I am here. Breathe. In… and out…” 

You attempted to follow their instructions as best as you could. When your eyes opened, you finally caught sight of your savior— it was a green-clad figure. The voice made it hard to tell their identity, or perhaps they were just androgynous. The image of them was blurred from the tears gathering in your eyes, but you could briefly spot their lips pulling up into a kind smile. 

You glanced behind them at the dead body. The air in your lungs felt thin once more. You wanted to leave, to run far away and never have to see such an ungodly sight ever again. 

Fate had other plans as a comforting hand rested on your back. The androgynous figure was now gone, replaced with a dashing woman whose features were threatening in appearance only. Her pitch black eyes with crimson X’s in the center showed deep concern, accompanied by a frown. 

She gently wiped the tears from your eyes. You blinked rapidly as she did so, the sharpness of her nails just barely stabbing you in the eye. You were able to get a better look at her now that your vision was cleared. 

She was a most gorgeous woman, with fair skin and her hair a mix of black and white. She wore blood red lipstick that contrasted her skin tone. She wore a gray suit with black and crimson accents. The cuffs of her sleeves looked similar to swan feathers. A pin in the shape of a butterfly sat on her collarbone, the deep ruby red gems glowing like menacing eyes under the light of the moon. 

Her hands, also black like the night, were careful as they settled on your shoulders. Three of her nails on each hand were painted red. The other two were black. 

This woman appeared scary, but her comforting touch and her kind words were far from that. Just from her presence alone, you could tell that she was not a threat to you. She was not here to harm you or drag you into the knights’ custody. 

You could tell just from her expression and her aura. 

“Relax,” she whispered. 

Her voice was authoritative, commanding, but there was an underlying softness in the way she spoke to you— as if she knew how to handle children your age. She brushed the hair out of your eyes. 

“There is no need to cry anymore. There is no need to be afraid. You are safe.” 

The kind words of this strange woman surged through you right to your heart. Your lip trembled, and your eyes gathered with tears once more. You shuffled towards her kneeled body, grabbing onto the blazer of her gray suit with fervor. You dug your face into her hold, your cheek resting against her stomach. 

Sobs racked through your tiny body. She did not push you away like you expected. Instead, she knelt into a more comfortable position and gently patted your head as you cried. 

You did not want her to leave. You were desperately hoping that this was not a dream. If this was a dream, it was a cruel one. A child of your age needed a parent right now, and your young mind latched onto the only adult figure that cared enough to show you sympathy. 

“Shhh. It’s okay.” She shushed you. “I won’t be going anywhere.” 

You snuggled into her further. Despite your attempts to cling to the only adult figure that showed you mercy and comfort, she did not reciprocate affection like a parent usually would. She had the ability to calm your nerves and soothe your mind, but she did not seem capable enough to coddle you like a mother would to her newborn baby. 

She opted for little physical affection and let her words do the talking instead of her actions. 

It was very fatherly. Not like you would know; you never knew your father— or your mother, for that matter. 

“Come home with me.” She muttered. The words came out more like a statement, a demand, instead of a question. “I will raise you like a strict and unfeeling father.” 

That was how you ended up in a foreign nation’s orphanage, more commonly known as the House of the Hearth. 

The House wasn’t the best place. You came to find that many of the children were wackjobs— some more than others. But the orphanage was better than being thrown into jail for murdering a Mondstadt aristocrat. 

The woman—  Arlecchino, her name was —assured you that your background would be wiped clean. She promised you she would take care of everything regarding the matter of the aristocrat’s murder. You did not know whether to trust her judgment or not, but seeing as there was a roof over your head, food on your plate, and clean clothes at your disposal, you chose to trust her for now.

After all, this was the most attention you have received from an adult in your entire life. You never had more delicious food. In fact, you have never had this much food in your life. Instead of scrounging for scraps in alleyways and stealing more than a few apples from a vendor’s stall, you had three meals a day— including some snacks. 

You no longer had one article of clothing. Arlecchino gifted you with lavish dresses that your younger self could only dream of wearing in her wildest daydreams. You were finally able to wash your body regularly without relying on the nearest river. In fact, you had a whole bathroom with a pristine bathtub, a fluffy towel, and hair and body wash that completely cleaned your whole body. 

Instead of bunching up newspapers to sleep on and shivering in the brisk night breeze, you had a twin sized bed with comfy sheets and a bouncy mattress. Your pillow supported your head and neck, and you got a proper night’s sleep. 

It was like a dream come true. You wondered when this fantasy would end. Indeed it did end— but briefly. 

A few weeks after you settled in, Arlecchino came to have a chat with you. She ushered the other children out of the room and they obeyed without hesitation. She told you the first day she took you in to call her “Father,” to which you did so. But you couldn’t truly start addressing her as such when you did not know how a parent acted towards their child. It was something you would have to get acquainted with over time. 

Of course, she was not going to force you to do anything until you were ready. Except this… 

“This orphanage belongs to a Snezhnayan organization called the Fatui.” 

She did not sugar coat her words, and perhaps that was a greater mercy than lying straight to a child’s face. 

Your frown deepened. Ever so sharp, she caught the action. However, she said nothing. You let out a sigh and looked down at the polished marble flooring of the playroom. Your feet dangled off of the chair you were sitting on, not quite reaching the ground. You always were a bit smaller than your peers. 

Perhaps it had been because of your previous living conditions. 

A soft, “I see” left your lips. 

You knew all about the Fatui. They paraded around the streets of Mondstadt as if they owned the place. The talk of the town always gave you information you wished to know. By hiding in the shadows and listening in on conversations, you quickly learned that the Fatui had close dealings with Mondstadt. 

They were even close allies with impeccable trust five hundred years ago. The same could not be said today. 

Today, they used Mondstadt’s mistakes as leverage for their own gain. You had been tossed around one too many times by a snobby Fatuus that barked at you to “watch where you’re going” and threatened to throw you in jail.

Their threats were no more than harmless jokes in your eyes. You did not care about their words. You were more scared of the Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius than you were of some high ranking Fatui officer. After all, what authority did a Snezhnayan officer have over a Knight in Mondstadt? 

Nothing; Unless they blamed someone else for their wrongdoings and chalked it up to being another one of Mondstadt’s mistakes, further getting their Harbingers or even their Queen involved. That would then lead to foreign affairs with paperwork and more work that had the Knights complaining about how much they hated the Fatui. 

“So you must be a Harbinger then.” 

Arlecchino was surprised by your ability to catch onto things quickly. She silently praised you in that regard. 

“Yes, I am.” She answered your rather rhetorical question. 

“I know what the House of the Hearth is,” you heard about it a few times in passing, “you take in children from all over and raise them to be foot soldiers and sleeper agents for your poor excuse for a Queen.” 

The way you spat out those words was commendable. Arlecchino couldn’t scold you for your raw display of distaste. After all, you were a child of Freedom. You were used to having free will and free speech. 

“I would rather work as one of those deplorable Knights than be a part of your organization.” 

Arlecchino decided she would let this one slide. You hadn’t become an official member of the House yet, so it was unfair to punish you for words of betrayal if you didn’t even officially belong to this organization. So… she let it get swept under the rug just this once. 

Next time, she wouldn’t be so forgetful… nor would she show any mercy. 

She opened her mouth, a deal ready on her lips, when you abruptly continued. “However… you have given me a bed to sleep on and healthy food with proper meals. You have given me a place to bathe and you even let me play with real toys. I suppose… living here wouldn’t be so bad.” 

You were only a child. She thought you were a bit more mature for your age before, but considering how you completely disregarded the House’s initial purpose, she now believed otherwise. 

You were looking forward to living in a real home with a real family. You did not consider that you were selling your soul to the devil— that you would be bound to this organization for the rest of your life. If you tried to leave, well… betrayal wasn’t taken lightly here. 

“If you stay,” Arlecchino began, her voice stern like usual, “you can never return to the life of freedom you once lived.” 

Was she giving you an out? It sure didn’t sound like it earlier. You searched her eyes, only to find nothing. She was adept at masking her emotions. 

A sigh left your lips. “I would take here over how I lived before. I had nothing.” 

“You had freedom—“ 

“How much of that did I really have if I was slowly dying before you found me?” You looked up at her, a hopeless expression dancing in your pupils. 

She reconsidered her thoughts once more. Maybe you were smarter than what she gave you credit for. 

With the deal sealed, she stood from her seat next to you and nodded curtly. “Alright,” you were now one of her children, “welcome to the House of the Hearth. From this day forward, I am officially your ‘Father.’” 

The other children in the House were more than excited to have a new sibling. However, you wanted nothing to do with them. 

To you, they were crazed animals with unusual interests and an unwavering loyalty to Arlecchino. Most of them, actually. Not all of the children saw her as their savior. 

Even so, you were not intending to make friends or get close enough to call anyone your sibling. You stayed in your corner, staring at the wall more often than not, and wondering why you chose to stay. 

It was not like you had anywhere else to go, though. You were a child, you could not support yourself in the real world yet. And if you were sent back to Mondstadt, who knew what would happen to you. You might not even make it that far out of Fontaine before getting killed. 

Based on the way you mutilated that aristocrat though, you might have a chance. But your option to leave was now severed. You were officially a member of the House. If you tried to leave, you would lose your life. That was one of the most important rules of the House: betrayal was punishable by death. 

Your legs dangled off the side of your twin sized bed. Gently knocking your feet together, you stared down at your flats. This was the first pair of shoes you ever owned, and Arlecchino had been the one to give them to you. 

White with black lace trimming and a small black bow on top. The design engraved into the sides of the shoe resembled that of a swan’s wings. The flats fit you perfectly, as if they were made for your feet only. 

A small smile graced your lips as you continued to study the shoes with a great deal of admiration. You would cherish these shoes with every ounce of care you had left in your heart. 

Two figures stood outside the doorway to the bedroom that you shared with three other girls. Arlecchino had her arms crossed over her chest as she watched you silently. You refused to talk to any of the children, and although the desire to be alone was something she greatly understood, she felt a small ounce of worry settle in her gut. 

If you did not make friends, then you would have no allies… and no allies in a world filled with threats coming at you from every angle meant you were completely alone with no one to help you in times of need. 

Problem children were a common occurrence in any family. You happened to be the newest one on her roster. Your refusal to just about everything was beginning to make her aggravated. She tolerated it the first two weeks because of your upbringing and severe trust issues, but now it was getting out of hand. 

Disobedient children had to be punished. 

“Stop staring daggers into the back of the poor girl’s head.” The pompous voice of her coworker entered her ears. 

Signora crossed her arms over her chest and sent you a sympathetic look. A sigh left her lips. “The poor girl. Another child abandoned by the Wind. If she harnesses that hatred and fuels it into revenge, she—“ 

Arlecchino let out a long sigh and briefly closed her eyes. “She has no need for revenge, Rosalyne. I am merely giving her a home. If she desires to be great, then I will make her great.” 

The blonde woman let out a scoff. “Why am I talking to you like you’re a proper parent? You’re not even twenty years old yet.” She waved Arlecchino off. “No matter. I shall talk to her.” 

With that, Signora sauntered her way into the bedroom. Arlecchino’s eye twitched involuntarily. The two did not get on like close friends, but Arlecchino still respected Signora greatly. She watched as the much older woman knelt down in front of you. 

Maybe her words could finally persuade you to make some friends. 

The sound of footsteps made you look up from your shoes. Your gaze met the icy cold eyes of a mature woman with long blonde hair that reached her knees, and rose colored lips. She wore a long, red and white dress that hugged her curves, with a slit on both sides, exposing her long legs. Her black heels clacked along the marble floor as she came to stand in front of you. 

A large, white coat with black fur lining the hood hung around her shoulders. She was elegant and poised in everything she did, even as she knelt down to be eye level with you. 

Her white earrings jingled at her movement, as did the chains on her winter coat. You did not know why she needed a winter coat when it was currently summer in Fontaine. Surely she had to be sweating right now. 

Her gloved hands came to rest in her lap delicately as a kind smile tugged at her lips. You found it to be somewhat genuine. A trace of uncertainty laid underneath, like she had not smiled in years. 

“My name is Rosalyne,” she spoke, her taunting voice entering your ears, “may I know yours?” 

You hesitated. What was this woman trying to do? Did she want information out of you? You did not have any to give. Why was she here? A friend of your Father’s perhaps? 

“(Name).” You muttered. 

The woman, Rosalyne, nodded. “That's a beautiful name. What does—“ 

“Why are you here?” Your brows narrowed. What was she trying to achieve? 

You barely knew her, and yet you could already read her like a book. She was not as kind as she seemed to be. She was holding up a mask, effortlessly hiding behind it. 

Rosalyne huffed, her annoyance apparent with the slight twitching of her eye. She simply smiled. You were willing to test her patience to see how long she could keep up the nice guy act. 

Instead of allowing her anger to take over, she took a deep breath. Her smile vanished, replaced with a frown that you assumed to be the real her. Her voice grew softer as she spoke.

“I was also born in Mondstadt.” That line alone grabbed your attention. “But I would not consider myself a child of the Wind like other Mondstadt natives.” 

There was a passion in her voice, along with a deep rooted hatred. Every word that left her lips pertaining to the Nation of Freedom was spat out as if she could not even stand the thought, let alone talk about, her home.

You did not love the people of Mondstadt. They treated you like a disease. But the Wind always favored you. You found yourself curling up on the soft grass near the tree in Windrise more often than not. You even considered Windrise your home for a time. 

The fresh breeze was refreshing. It cooled your skin and warmed your heart. It comforted you on nights where you could not stand to survive any longer. It wrapped its arms around you and gently shushed you when you cried. 

You did not love the people of Mondstadt… but you sure as hell loved the Wind and the scenery of your home. You missed the open fields and the jutted cliffs. You missed the wide, cloudless, starry sky and the outline of Celestia in the sky when the moon crossed behind it. 

You missed the afternoon breeze and the tolling of the bells on top of the cathedral. You missed dandelions, and picking fresh berries on sunny days. You would forever miss the atmosphere of the streets of the city, and the lively songs of the bards on each corner. 

But you would never miss the people— their words spat in your face and the way they wanted nothing to do with you. 

Unlike Rosalyne, you still considered yourself a child of the Wind. You thought of yourself as such because of your close connection and love for the Wind. You assumed she did not want to associate herself with the title because of some resentment she harbored towards the Anemo Archon and the people of Mondstadt. 

You were indifferent in your thoughts about the Anemo Archon. What did it matter that he did not rule Mondstadt personally? The people could take care of themselves just fine without the guidance of a god. So why did some harbor hatred towards him for his absence? 

To you, his absence was all you knew. Besides… didn’t he return every harvest season to bless the wine and the land? What more did the people want from him? 

He had always been an absent Archon, as far as you were concerned, and you would much rather have him be absent than be a helicopter parent like Inazuma’s Archon. 

“Do you miss Mondstadt?” you found yourself asking, out of pure curiosity. 

Rosalyne’s pretty gray eyes widened significantly, before she looked away from you. She stood up and took a seat next to you on the neatly made bed. She shimmied out of her winter coat and folded it delicately beside her. She placed her hands in her lap. 

“It has been quite a while since I returned,” she said. Her voice cracked a little, so fleeting you almost missed it. Her shoulders slacked. “But I wouldn’t say I miss it. I do miss the memories I made there… but that was a long time ago. Dwelling on the past won’t do me any good.” 

You looked up at her, studying her stoic expression. There was a hint of sadness that flashed in her eyes, but it was gone as soon as it came. She cleared her throat, regaining her composure. You noticed her shoulders tense once more. 

It seemed as long as she put up that mask, she could not fully relax. 

Her tone switched to one filled with affection. “I have something for you.” She dug through the pocket of her large winter coat and sent you a smug smile. “Close your eyes.” 

Instead of closing your eyes, you opted to turn your head away. You did not trust closing your eyes. The last time someone told you to… —no, you could not remember that now of all times. You wish you could forget it. 

“Hold out your hand.” 

You did as told. Something fluffy was placed into your hand, and you turned around to face her once more. Sitting in your hand was a wolf plush. It had gray fur and black beady eyes. Its tail was bushy, and its snout was long. 

A look of confusion crossed over your face as you looked up to meet Rosalyne’s gaze. A genuine smile rested on her lips as she placed a hand on your shoulder. 

“When your Father told me a child from Mondstadt arrived, I simply had to bring you a gift.” She told you, her voice dripping with affection akin to the kind a mother held for their child. “Since wolves are highly prominent to the nation, I decided on this rather than a Windwheel Aster.” 

Truthfully, you would have loved any gift she gave you.

This was the first time you were ever receiving a gift. To say it touched your heart had been an understatement, as your lip trembled and you broke out into uncontrollable sobs. Is this what it was like to be thought of in a good light? Is this what it was like to be cared for and loved? 

Rosalyne, who barely knew you for more than a half hour, had spent her own time and money on a gift for you when she did not know you yet. 

She panicked a little as you cried, her hands reaching out to grab your shoulders. You could hear her mumble “what should I do” under her breath a few times before she pulled you closer to her and patted you on the back. 

You eagerly wrapped your arms around her middle and dug your face into her side. Her whole body was oddly cold to the touch. A shiver ran down your spine from the severe drop in temperature of her body compared to Arlecchino’s extremely warm one. 

Her bare skin was even colder. The gap in the sides of her dress that revealed her fair skin made that clear. As soon as your arm touched her skin, you pulled it back to rest on the back of her dress. The freezing cold lingered on your own skin for a while after, chilling you to the bone. 

Her awkward pats on your head turned to slow strokes of her fingers through your hair, and her uneasy mutters turned to a soft hum of a lullaby from her lips. Her arms felt secure, like a warm fire in the middle of winter. 

She cradled you as if you were her own, and in a hushed tone, whispered resolutely, 

“We’ll show them. We’ll show them all.” 

© 2024 mikashisus. do not plagiarize, copy, repost, feed to ai, or translate my works to any other platforms.

[bleachification]

⸻ EVERYTHING IS BLUE

pairing: dabi x reader

word count: 2.2k

synopsis:  when life gave you a second chance to meet your supposedly dead childhood friend, you never expected it to be in the form of a villainous encounter. your once beloved toya is now dabi—a cruel, twisted silhouette of the gentle boy he used to be. 

note: includes mentions of grief and insomnia

+ + + + + + + + + + + +

There is a very famous saying: Love conquers all. 

Supposedly love transcends time. 

Space. 

Death. 

It buries sin and cures suffering, lightening the world and its burdens. It is presented with such a peculiar resemblance to what some herald as Heaven’s gift from above—a sublime feeling only justifiable by the overpowering divine or mystical. You see it in the stars; unreachable. In the sunsets and dawn; dazzling.

But you also see it in the darkness; for the act of love has made fools of many, robbing them blind of reason and humanity. It has made liars and killers—corrupted and instilled madness. And it seldom lets its victims go. 

Love creates weakness. 

You vowed to never let it make you weak again. 

After all, the last time almost killed you. But who could blame you? Toya was dear to you. Toya was special. The closest thing to a soulmate you could ever fathom. The boy was your childhood best friend and the earliest memory of happiness you can recall. Now, that is all he is—a distant, fleeting memory that whispers of fractured promises and bygone dreams. He is never more than a nostalgic breeze tickling your skin, or a particularly bright star on an early winter night. 

He exists between the lines of your past. Simply there. But never next to you. Never in arms reach. 

As time passed agonizingly, you had slowly begun to forget the most basic things, such as the bright tenor of his laugh and the soft sound of his steps—sensations you used to know by heart. 

Sometimes, you can only remember the features of his face by looking at an old photograph you had kept. It is one of black and white film, stained on the back and crinkled at the edges from the wear of time. In it, Toya is smiling, a small hand raised up in a wave at whoever was behind the camera. You can’t remember. 

Was it your mother? His? You hope it was the former. She always adored Toya.   

His left arm was slung over your shoulder and the both of you had cake and icing smudged on your faces, courtesy of one another. 

That day—your birthday—is one of the last times you saw him alive. 

So why on earth do you see that little boy in the eyes of a villain?

The face of a young man covered in gnarled purple scars is plastered across the city. Video footage from a high speed chase is being shown in an emergency broadcast on every single screen covering the downtown core. 

His name is Dabi. Prominent member of the League of Villains. It is an organization the Pro Heroes—your colleagues—are adamantly trying to dismantle. 

The man’s picture is blown up on the big screens alongside three other criminals, each involved in the chase currently carving through the city blocks.

Something about him is so familiar, but you can’t grasp exactly what. 

Grief and nostalgia must be playing tricks again. To see a dead child’s face in a villain’s visage is ridiculous.

Laughable. 

But it wouldn’t be the first time you had… hallucinated Toya’s image. 

With a sigh, you peel your dry eyes away from the ward’s television and shut the channel off. The room is eerily silent in the late night, void of the tv’s noise. You like it. Silence helps calm the mind. Settles the chaos. 

You stand and make your way out of the ward, down the empty hallway, and into your personal office. The room is clean and tidy, the only thing out of place is a stack of research papers strewn across your mahogany desk. You round the corner and settle into the soft velvet seat of your armchair before running your right hand along the underside of the table. A familiar click sounds as you locate the button and a small cabinet pops open from the left shelf. 

Three bottles sit inside. Unassuming white ones with generic labels. You pop the smallest bottle open and dump a pill out. The red medication tastes like chalk as it grazes your tongue. 

After a second of consideration, you take another, hoping these sleeping pills will be strong enough to stave off the nightmares and vivid hallucinations. 

Hope. It’s such a small word, but also such a large one. Hope was all you had at one point. It was the only thing grounding you to a reality without him. You had hoped it was all a mistake—a joke, even. Toya would pop his head from the corner and yell: “Gotcha!”

He would be fine. Alive. 

Anything but a husk of a human, burnt beyond recognition, suffocating in the flames of his own blood.

Now, hope is nothing but a pretty word to throw around when meaning is lost. 

You close your eyes and lose yourself to a dreamless sleep. 

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 . 　  

You are experiencing a startling sense of deja vu. The television glitches, interrupting regularly scheduled programming. A familiar figure appears. 

I, Toya Todorioki, was born as the eldest son of Endeavour. 

The world—your world freezes. The only thing you can comprehend is the man on your screen.

You stand up, shaking. Then, you run. Heroes and medical staff alike shout after you, but it all fades into a blur. There is only one destination in your mind—and it is a dangerous, painful place. 

It doesn’t take long for you to locate him. The city is in turmoil, buildings have been razed to the ground and rubble covers the once bustling space. You spot Shoto and his father up ahead, mere steps away. And in front of him stands Dabi—no—Toya. Your Toya. 

His hair is white now, the natural color no longer concealed once he revealed his identity. The scars have spread from the last time you saw him online. No matter. You knew it. You knew it was him. How could you forget?

Enji rasps out something in disbelief. 

Toya only smiles wide and responds with a sardonic confirmation. You could see it in their eyes—a living nightmare had come true for the Todoroki family.

But you? All you cared about was reaching Toya. None of them have seen you yet, so you take advantage of that by quietly making your way closer. The muffled voices turn clearer as the distance shrinks. Toya is speaking to his father and brother, words spilling out in frantic turmoil. The rawness of his voice rings through. Such intense anger and hatred cannot be faked. The two others are stricken by Toya’s address. You don’t blame them; the brutality of his language guts even you. 

Shoto notices you first. His eyes widen, almost imperceptibly, but Toya notices anyway. Your old friend whips around in your direction. You freeze as his eyes land on you. Recognition immediately flashes across his face.

His face. You feel as though you have been hurtled through space and time, brought back to simpler days. A scraped knee on the playground. Food fights in the cafeteria. A million pinky promises made.

A kid you called your best friend, reduced to ash and bones. 

These memories, both awful and radiant, wash over you with so much force you almost collapse. You silently praise yourself for keeping upright against the emotional onslaught. 

“Y/N, get out of here!” Shoto yells out, urging you away in a panic. 

You ignore him. Nothing else exists right now. Not Shoto. Not his father. Only him. 

“Y/N.” The way Toya says your name is almost questioning. As if he can’t believe you’re even here. 

You’ve somehow ended up right before him. Inches separate you, if barely. 

“Hi Toya,” you breathe, voice barely above a whisper. It would crack otherwise. 

He’s stunned, looking like the air was knocked from his lungs. Seconds fade into forever as his familiar gaze locks onto yours, searching—but for what, you can’t tell. It takes a moment for him to seemingly gather himself. The cynical persona quickly slides back into place.

“This is a nice surprise, but I’m afraid you have me all wrong. Toya is dead, Y/N. Dabi is all that is left—all that I am.”

You swallow. The air tastes of blood. “Somehow I don’t believe that.”

Don’t? Or won’t?

He shrugs, feigning nonchalance. “Well, it doesn’t matter what you believe. C’mon, Y/N! Don’t tell me you still have faith in who I used to be. That kid you knew is dead. Gone forever.”

You shake your head, refusing to take in his words.

“And yet, you’re standing right in front of me… how…?” Without thinking, you raise a hand up to touch his cheek. You’re operating on instinct, not logic. It's the instinct to comfort him—just like he did for you when you were children. 

But you stop yourself right before making contact with him, unsure. Toya’s gaze flits to your hand for a split second before returning to your face. There’s a question in his eyes—one you aren’t sure either of you can answer. 

“Why pretend you care? It’s cruel,” he murmurs, a subtle accusation coating his tone.

“What are you talking about? Of course I care.” You answer, bewildered. 

Pretend? How could he even begin to think that? When you’ve spent your entire life missing him?

“Then why did you move across the world the second you hit adulthood? You couldn’t even stay.”

“I thought you were dead. I mourned you. I grieved until what felt like my last breath. I left because every single second I stayed felt like reliving your death all over again.”

“And when you finally came back you were, what, healed? Moved on?” He laughs bitterly, arms spread in mockery. 

“Moved on?” You shake your head, the pain in your throat almost suffocating. “I saw you everywhere. Not just in dreams and nightmares. Hallucinating a dead person… I thought I was losing my mind! Even right now I’m praying this isn’t some sick, twisted nightmare.”

He drops his arms as well as the smile on his face. “Well, you’re in luck, Y/N. This is very much real. See, I thought things could change. That the consequences meant something to them. They lived my death and nothing happened! They saw what it did to me—the power, the ego, the fucking obsession that ruined this family—and did nothing!

“He’s a disease, don’t you get it? They all are. I’m simply here to rid the world of that sickness. I’m the cure, Y/N. I’ll burn the rot right out of the earth.”

Endeavour scrambles. “Son, don’t do this! Don’t—!”

“Son? Son?” Toya sneers. “You lost that right a long time ago, oh mighty Number One Hero.”

“Toya, please.”

He turns back to you. “No. Sorry to disappoint, Y/N, but you don’t get to participate in this dance.”

“What? No, Toya wait–”

An arm circles your waist before you can get another word out, and all of a sudden, you’re being carried away at breakneck speeds. 

Your screams are lost to the wind. 

An explosion in the distance. Red taints the sky and fills your vision. 

You have never felt so helpless.  

The next time you see Toya—the little that is left of him—is at the end of it all. He is confined. Half-alive. Burnt beyond recognition. It is like he is dying all over again. 

“I should hate you.”

You sit at his bedside, speaking your turn after his family just left. 

Toya is… tired. You can see it in his eyes—at the lack of fire. The passionate, ambitious boy you once knew is truly and utterly gone. 

But some of his kindness has returned. Or perhaps he has just accepted his fate, which is all the more heartbreaking. 

“You’ve done… terrible things. Hurt so many people,” you pause, considering your next words. Three tiny things lodged in your throat, struggling to be set free into the world. “You hurt me.”

He doesn’t look at you. You’re not sure if that’s any worse than his silence. 

“I didn’t think you would ever hurt me,” you whisper. 

Silence drags on for what feels like the longest minute of your life. He still has not turned his head. Still has not acknowledged you. Your heart sinks. Maybe this really is it. Maybe there’s no affection left—all of it burned up with the last of his lingering sentiments. 

You stand up, turning your back to him, ready to leave. For good. 

“I didn’t think I would either,” Toya murmurs. 

His soft voice breaks the silence—and it is overwhelming. 

You haven't turned around to face him yet. 

“In another life, would you have stayed?” 

“I…” he swallows, voice rasping. “I don’t want to leave this life. Don’t want to leave you behind… not again.”

Tears are streaming down your face. You don’t care; you sit back down right next to him, where you rightly belong. The ache in your chest is so heavy you think it might pull you to the ground and bury you below its surface to try and muffle your misery. You almost wish it did. 

Despite the pain, you muster out your next question. 

“You think we could be happy?” You take Toya’s wounded hand in yours and gently squeeze, careful not to hurt him. 

To your relief, he doesn’t let go. In fact, he squeezes back. It’s faint but the action is felt. “Yeah. Yeah, I think we could.”

And if another life exists, you are. 

Undoubtedly so. 

[whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk]

Hold Me Like a Knife (ii) (ao3)

Chapter 2 for @nessianweek day 6…. because uh… viking!Cassian is a legend? We're squinting with this one.

After an evening spent in the lord's mead hall observing the Danes and their ways, Nesta finds herself in trouble when an unfriendly Norseman follows her through the streets of Jorvik. Fortunately for her, she's already caught the eye of a man who'd sooner spill a river of blood than see her harmed...

(previous chapter // next chapter)

The business of negotiating land, it seemed, took hours.

In the lord’s hall, behind a wooden door carved with the image of a great tree encircled by a snake, the men disappeared. After briefly being shown to their lodgings, Nesta and the other ladies of the court had been escorted back to the hall, like the Danes didn’t trust them enough to give them free reign about the city just yet. And so, as the king and Rhysand and their most trusted men remained ensconced behind those doors, locked away for hours to debate the lines of their treaty - which towns and rivers would fall under the rule of the Danes, and which fields and roads would remain Saxon - Nesta studied that tree. Seated on a long wooden bench, she traced each meticulously carved branch that stretched towards the edges of the door, admiring the craftsmanship as she followed the tail of the snake that curved around the tree. 

Somebody had told her, once, that the Danes thought their world was a mighty tree, and as Nesta sat and watched, she wondered if it was true. If the world was cradled by the boughs of a great oak, then where exactly did they sit, now? Were they in the branches, high enough to feel the light of the sun? Or was their little corner of England the roots of the tree, buried underground, so near to the scales of the beast that surrounded them?

She didn’t know who to ask to find out.

Every now and then, Tomas would leave the room, letting the door slam behind him as he left to fetch whatever parchment or deed the king had requested. Her husband muttered under his breath as he went, glaring at the walls, and not once did he stop to tell her - or any of them gathered outside that room - what was happening inside. 

It was only when Rhysand stepped out into the hall and cast his eyes over the court of Wessex assembled before him - interspersed with Danes - that the news was shared. The Norseman’s face split into a ruthless smile as he took in the scene before him, the gathering lit by candlelight as the sun beyond the windows started to wane. The hall seemed to glow, the fire in the middle stirring as logs were added to the dwindling embers.

With a smooth, slippery kind of smugness, Lord Rhysand announced that the vast swathe of territory henceforth to be known as the Danelaw cut diagonally across Britain— so many miles and miles of land, surrendered to the heathen invaders that had looked at these shores and decided to make them their home, at any cost.

It was a wonder, Nesta thought, that King Alfred had left the room with the crown still upon his brow. 

“This land has given me many things,” Rhysand began after his announcement, his violet eyes casting over the crowd with an intensity that made Nesta want to shudder. Beneath his eyes, somehow she felt like he could see into her soul— read her mind. “It has given me a new home, and comforts that I could not have dreamed of across the sea.” With a smile that felt almost genuine, Rhysand looked to Alfred like one might look to a brother. “With this treaty between us, I look forward to days of peace.”

Murmurs rose among the crowd; whispered agreements.

But Nesta saw the way Rhysand���s eye glinted in the firelight, the curve at the corner of his lip that made his smile more wolfish than anything else. And somehow, she didn’t think the peace would last.

There was a hunger in Rhysand— in all of his people, too. Did Alfred think a pretty parcel of land might be enough to sate that hunger, to slake their thirst for blood? Nesta looked to the snake carved on the door, its jaws wrapped around the tree that made up their world. The sharp teeth were shadowed by the firelight, the branches of the world-tree seeming to shake as the flames trembled, the light quivering like the sails on one of their ships, caught in the wind. 

Servants appeared along the walls, and as Rhysand announced the feast and welcomed the Saxons to his hall and his hearth, Nesta looked back at that snake, and wondered if they hadn’t just walked right into its jaws. 

***

In the lord’s hall, woodsmoke tangled with the scent of spices imported from far-off lands— places Nesta had only ever heard about in stories. Places where there was sand underfoot more often than stone, places where the sea was so blue it was deeper than the colour of a summer sky. 

We had a ship arrive last week filled with spices— pepper and saffron and cumin. Entirely foreign to these shores without our extensive trading networks, of course, Rhysand had said, filling up his goblet with mead.

Nesta had never tasted anything like it— the meat so delicately spiced, the taste of smoke lingering deliciously on her tongue. Suddenly, she was ravenous. She tilted her head at the mention of the spices the Danes imported. Her father was a merchant after all, and yet… they spoke of lands so distant, where floors were made of tile and temples were erected in the name of yet more gods she couldn’t recognise. She followed the tales Rhysand told with interest as platters of food were laid out on the long tables that housed Dane and Saxon alike, the embers in the fire-pit glowing a vibrant red as smoke drifted up to the hole cut in the roof above, curling past the decorated wooden beams that stretched up from the floor; all of them carved with the faces of great beasts: serpents and dragons, wolves and bears. Mead and ale were poured liberally as conversation rose like the tides, and through it all Nesta sat silently, observing. 

“Not good for the soul,” Osbert muttered as he plucked up a piece of chicken between his thumb and forefinger. “Such a rich diet. It heats the blood, fosters sin.”

Tomas scowled, poking at a piece of meat with the tip of his silver knife. “Everything about this place fosters sin, father.”

With a grimace twisting his features, he set his fork back down, the meat untouched. Like to break bread with the heathen was a sin all its own.

Indeed, as the meal ended and benches were pushed back from tables as the Danes rose from their seats to fetch more drink, Nesta noted with a sharp eye how more than a handful of Alfred’s court made haste to retire. Thegns and their wives made their excuses to their king, slipping away into the safety of their lodgings, like they couldn’t bear the peace any longer. Nesta, for one, found that she didn’t so much mind the food or the wine or the hall they found themselves in, and though there was a healthy dose of reservation as she looked at the Danes assembled on long benches either side of the hall, she had to admit that her curiosity was burning like a pyre, so many questions balanced on the tip of her tongue that she knew she could never ask aloud. 

What were the creatures carved on those columns lining the room? What stories did they tell, and why were they deemed so important, so beloved, as to immortalise them in the wood?

Further along the table, King Alfred got to his feet. In a move that echoed, Rhysand did too, plucking up his goblet with lithe fingers as his assembled guests began to filter through the tables, the din of conversation rising all around them as formality was shed a little. The Northern lord took a different seat, closer to the fire, and beckoned to Alfred— to the empty seat beside him, illuminated by the flames. Both king and Dane might have claimed that they had left political discussions at the door as soon as dinner had been served, but Nesta knew the world of men too well to think differently. Negotiation continued, only this time it masqueraded as pleasant conversation.

Beside her, Tomas moved too, taking up a position directly behind the king, like he thought himself some kind of protector.

He didn’t sit down.

Only Nesta remained where she was. Even Osbert rose, a grunt of displeasure leaving him as he drifted to the edge of the room, taking up a seat against the wall, like still he feared someone was going to stick a dagger in his spine. Nesta didn’t think she could blame anybody for trying; Osbert watched with scrupulous eyes, speaking to no one, and giving no one leave to approach him. His silver cross shone in the low light, and every now and then the priest would wrap his fingers around it before lifting it to his lips, like showing his reverence to the cross might protect him in a hall so filled with heathens. 

And yet Rhysand, she noted, recently baptised as per the terms of the treaty with Alfred, didn’t look particularly overcome with religious zeal of his own. 

She supposed she wouldn’t be, either. Alfred and her husband might have thought Rhysand had taken the sacrament in all honesty, but he had been raised to believe in so many gods— what was one more added to his pantheon? 

What was one more, when it brought him England?

Such a small price to pay, and even as he attended Mass on Sundays, she suspected he would still make his offerings to Odin. 

She had said as much to Tomas, when he had first informed her of the king’s plan. The treaty they had made. 

He had told her to stop trying to understand the politics of men— that it was too difficult a topic for her delicate female mind to comprehend. When he’d turned his back that night, she’d spat in his ale.

And now he stood behind the king, his chest puffed, engorged with his own self-importance, and as the firelight cast shadows across his face, Nesta half wondered if it would make her a terrible wife to wish that peace fell apart. To hope for a Danish blade to find a home in Tomas’ spine.

There were certainly enough Danes gathered beneath that roof to do the job. 

She cast her eyes across them, taking in the way they raised their drinking horns, and the game pieces scattered across so many tables as they played a game she didn’t recognise. Her gaze roved across them all, until—

Across the hall, her attention caught on one Dane in particular.

Caught and held, like no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t bid her eyes to look away. 

It was the one from earlier— the one who had been fighting outside the hall. He lounged against the wall now the banquet was finished, one foot up, clad in leather with hair down to his shoulders. He looked… cleaner now. The blood had been washed from his face, his shirt exchanged for a fresh one, dyed a deep burgundy with not a single crease to mar the fabric. None of the men were armed, but there was a space at his hip where a dagger might rest, and over the broad span of his shoulders, she thought that the hilt of a sword might look at home there, peeking out from above his back. His eyes glinted in the firelight, and a well-trimmed beard graced his jaw. Silver beads were threaded through his hair, which was braided at his temples. The Northmen were known for their… vanity, Nesta thought wryly, but perhaps it wasn’t such a terrible thing. The leather he wore was polished and smooth, if a little worn, and his hair shone in a way that was unseen amongst the Saxons.

He was… curious, Nesta thought, tilting her head as she watched him beneath the candlelight. 

The distance between them felt like nothing— like she might reach out and feel the fabric of his tunic beneath her fingers, and as she watched, not quite sure of whether she wanted to widen the space between them or diminish it, he lifted his chin and found her staring, their eyes meeting with something that felt like a thunderclap, a bolt of lightning to her soul.

He raised his goblet; a toast across the fray.

His eyes sparked, and at his side, the warrior with the scarred hands muttered something before shaking his head. The first leaned close to whisper something in the ear of the second, and when the second pulled back, his lips were curved with an indulgent smile as he rolled his eyes. In tandem, both men looked across the room, pinning Nesta to the spot when their eyes found her. The first tilted his head, his eyes still trained on her as he drew his lip between his teeth, eyes aflame as he let drop the foot that he’d had resting against the wall.

Slowly, he ran a finger across his lip, his interest written plainly across his face. 

And when that look in his eyes said he was about to approach her…

Nesta’s heart stopped.

Without hesitation she tore her eyes away, back to her husband and her king, and Nesta really did feel apprehension then, like a knot in her gut she couldn’t loosen. Her blood felt too thin, like there wasn’t enough air. In her chest her heart hammered, because what would happen if that Dane decided to cross the hall to speak to her? Her mind reeled. 

Did she want to know the sound of his voice? To know what her name might sound like when shaped by his northern tongue? 

Tomas would have her flogged when they returned to Wessex.

She looked to him now, but her husband did not smile or speak as she rose from her seat and joined him at the king’s back. Tomas only glanced at her and the wine still in her hands, his lip curling. After a moment, he took a single step back from Alfred, gripping Nesta’s upper arm with a tight hand. Silent, a muscle ticked in his jaw. 

The Dane across the hall retreated.

And still Tomas’ hand curled into the soft flesh of her shoulder, like she was one of his hounds to be restrained, and no wedding ring circled his finger the way it did hers; her golden band little more than a collar binding her to a single master. Had she been given the choice, she never would have married him. Might never have married at all, in fact. There were women in convents who dedicated their life to prayer. Who read history and theology and lived in peace, when the Danes weren’t raiding, and didn’t that sound like a better life than this? 

Her father had sold her to Tomas, a landless thegn, in order to better his standing with the king. She had been a bartering chip, no more. Tomas had never viewed her as anything more either, and the fact that she had yet to bear him a son and heir had him growing impatient. He was not gentle nor kind nor loving— he was everything she had feared to find in a husband, and she dreamed of that convent life now, every time he touched her.

Nesta spent all of a single heartbeat in her husband’s grip before deciding to retire.

“I’m tired,” she said, setting down the goblet that was still half-full. “The journey left me weary.”

Tomas only made some non-comital sound in his throat. His hand fell away from her arm and without even glancing at her he said, almost as an afterthought, “I may join you later.”

Nesta knew well enough what he meant. If he didn’t find a place in a whore’s bed, he’d come looking for his place in hers.

She said nothing, only dipped her chin to hide the way her jaw clenched. She turned without a goodbye, cutting through the crowd and noticing that most of the other women had already left, too. As if they could sense that the night was about to shift, that the men were getting too deep in their cups. It was a sense all women bear, Nesta thought, an instinct engrained within them all, to know when the men they were surrounded by were about to shed civility and turn into beasts, with nothing but blood on the horizon.

In that regard, no man was different, be he Saxon or a Dane.

Their hands would wander, their ears deaf to any protest.

Quickly Nesta ducked outside of the hall, into the darkness and the cool air of the street outside, and looked towards the lodgings only a short distance away. 

Beneath the moon, the narrow streets were silver. The corners were bathed in shadow, and she’d only made it a few steps before she realised there was someone watching her from the darkest of those shadowed corners. She saw the glint of something silver— the moonlight reflecting off a ring or a necklace.

Or a blade.

She pushed down the fear, lifted her chin and slowed her steps. Refused to be cowed.

“Who’s there.”

A dark chuckle answered her.

“Saxon,” a voice said, nasal and pitched too low, like the man it belonged to was trying to sound larger and more imposing than he was. Nesta might have scoffed had she not been certain that it would end with her blood on his hands. Her heart started to hammer.

He stepped into the moonlight. More boy than man, his dark hair was made black by the silver light, the sneer contorting his features making a caricature of the shadows on his face. A too-new scar cut across his nose, and his eyes were flat and cold. He manoeuvred out of the shadows until he was blocking the path ahead, and as Nesta looked behind her, she wondered if she could run back to the mead hall, make it to safety before he caught her.

She looked at the way he braced himself, and knew she wouldn’t make it far. 

Her hand strayed to her skirts, where her dinner knife was tied to her belt. It was custom to carry a knife for dining, and though the blade was fine enough to eat with, she knew it wouldn’t do enough damage to the Dane before her. It was too short, too blunted.

He smirked, a cloud passing over the moon that cloaked him with shadow.

“I don’t like Saxons,” he whispered.

“Pity,” Nesta sneered before she could still her tongue.

It was unwise, she knew, and the Dane laughed, cruel and throaty. 

“I never asked for an alliance with your king,” he spat, taking a slow step forwards as Nesta took a single step back. “I don’t want peace. I came here for blood— for glory.” He freed a blade from his belt, the curved edge of an axe raised. “And I’ll be getting it— one way or another.”

The moon was almost entirely masked now, plunging them into darkness. Only the sharp edge of his seax glinted. 

And then— footsteps. Loud footsteps. Sure and confident. 

The clouds cleared, and turning her head, Nesta beheld the Dane from the hall walking casually, carefully, down the street towards them. His eyes were fixed on the Dane with the weapon in his hand, though briefly they flicked to her, running across her from head to toe, as if to check for injury.

In his presence the Dane blocking the way ahead hesitated, the hand holding his seax raised dropping an inch, his fingers slipping on the short handle, as if searching for a stronger grip. 

The Dane from the hall closed the distance quickly. His own small axe was tucked back into his belt now, and with one smooth, effortless motion, he freed the weapon and held it to throat of his fellow Northman.

The latter’s axe fell to the floor with a muted clatter.

Nesta took a step back, her spine hitting the wattle-and-daub wall of the building behind her. Even in the darkness she could see the scowl on the face of the Dane that had threatened her, and the unkind twist of his lips as the Dane from the hall pressed the sharp edge of his axe in a little harder, freeing a thin ribbon of blood that spilled down to the hollow of his throat. 

“I’ve told you before, haven’t I, Kallon, about what happens to men who follow women down dark streets,” the Dane from the hall hissed. The one at the mercy of his blade - Kallon, Nesta presumed - tried to speak, but the effort was lost when the axe was pressed deeper against his throat, so perilously close to cutting right through. “Did the last scar I gave you fail to teach you well enough?”

Kallon tried to fight against the Dane’s hold, but his movements were pinned by the lethal edge of the axe at his neck. Resentment curled his lip even as his blood stained the ground beneath him, his eyes filled with such a bottomless, relentless hatred that Nesta’s own fingers traveled to her throat, curling around her necklace as if searching for something to grasp.

“Rhys will have my head if I kill you now,” the Dane muttered. “Something about keeping the peace while the Saxons are here. Not confirming their beliefs that we are naught but a violent and lawless people.” He snorted, the inflection in his voice making it clear that he was parroting Rhysand’s words, letting them echo in the otherwise empty street. He raised his free hand, grasping Kallon’s face roughly between his fingers. Blood spilled down the handle of the seax, coating the fingers of his other hand, but the Dane seemed entirely unconcerned as he lowered his face and met Kallon’s eye. When he next spoke, his voice was cold and dark, carrying no hint at all of an empty threat. “But trust me, the next time that I see you…”

He trailed off, letting the threat linger before pulling his blade away sharply. Kallon’s hand immediately banded his throat, covering the small wound.

He looked up at the man who had been but a moment away from killing him, and though his glare remained, he straightened. He was a full head shorter than the other Dane, and not nearly so well-built. Where the other seemed to have been born and raised on a battlefield, Kallon appeared to be the Norse equivalent of Tomas: cocksure, arrogant, and entirely devoid of skill. 

Nesta pushed away from the wall, looking away from Kallon and finding her attention snared by the powerful span of the Dane’s shoulders, the way the muscles bunched at his arms as he slid his seax back into his belt. 

“Leave,” the Dane hissed.

Kallon hesitated.

“Now.”

Kallon scrambled down the alley, his steps stumbling only once as he hurtled round the corner, bracing a hand on the wall to steady himself. A smear of blood was all he left behind, a crimson handprint made garish by the silver light of the moon. 

For a moment, relief swelled in Nesta’s chest. 

For just one moment— because then the Dane turned, and fixed all of that ruthless attention on her.

“Dangerous,” he said, his voice low and husky, “for a Saxon woman to be walking these streets alone.”

“Thank you,” she said, brushing a hand down the fabric of her cloak. “For…” she gestured to the mouth of the street where Kallon had disappeared, then nodded to the axe he’d just wielded in her defence. “…That.”

The Dane raised an eyebrow. A scar ran diagonal through it, and his nose was slightly crooked, like it had once been broken, long ago, and hadn’t set completely straight. It made him a rugged beauty, alluring and compelling in equal measure, and when the moonlight shifted and illuminated his face, Nesta thought he might have been the most dangerous man she had ever laid eyes on.

“You shouldn’t walk alone,” he said.

She bristled. “What else am I to do?”

He shrugged. “Do you not have a husband to escort you?”

Nesta scowled, forgetting that this man had just had a weapon against the throat of another. Somehow, she didn’t think he was going to hurt her. When he took a step closer, she didn’t retreat.

“I don’t need my husband to escort me anywhere,” she spat, hardly able to hide the venom in her tone.

His eyes darkened as he pulled his gaze across every inch of her. Even though every piece of her skin was covered, somehow she felt bare beneath his attention, like he was somehow able to see the parts of her she kept hidden. He drifted closer, those eyes like sparks of hazel, and he reminded her of something wild, something prowling in the dark.

He laughed— laughed.

“Tell me sweetheart,” he said, his voice a low brush against her senses. “Was he the man standing behind your king?”

She didn’t answer, letting her silence fill the space between them, but the warrior huffed a sharp laugh, one that was mocking and derisive, that should have made her afraid. But he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth again, letting his laugh devolve into a hum lodged deep in his throat, and as the moonlight drifted again across his beautifully rugged face, Nesta swallowed, and didn’t feel afraid at all.

“He looks weak,” the warrior continued, his lip curling into a sneer. “Can he even lift a sword?”

And oh, if Nesta were a good wife, she would have defended Tomas. She would have spun a tale of his bravery, of his strength, until the warrior before her backed off and left her alone. But she was not a good wife— not made for such things, to be shaped and moulded by her husband’s hands. So instead she shrugged, and looked the Dane before her straight in the eye. They liked their women outspoken, she’d heard. Allowed them to fight beside them in battle, did not consign them to breeding and childrearing— no, these brutish men from the north let their women be as fierce and as ferocious as themselves, and knowing that…

For the first time in her life, Nesta did not hold her tongue.

“He says he can.” She paused, words balanced on her tongue that she’d longed to say out loud since the day she was married. She’d never had the courage, but here, in the presence of this man, she found it— found it in abundance. “But then again, he says he can use his prick, and I’ve never seen proof of that, either.”

The Dane laughed again— louder this time, a true laugh, deep and sure. It echoed. Delight shone in his eyes as he took another step closer. 

“Why did you follow me?” she asked, breathing in the scent of him, all leather and smoke and honeyed mead.

“Because these streets are no place for a lady,” he answered easily. When she said nothing - because what was there to say anyway? - he hummed a little, shrugging idly before continuing. “Besides, you were looking at me. In the hall.”

Nesta blinked. “You followed me because I looked at you?”

He grinned. “I followed you because it was clear to me that you liked what you saw.”

God in Heaven, this man. 

A breathless laugh escaped her, one softened with surprise. “Are all Danes so direct?”

“Usually.” He lifted his head up, looking to the sky as he took a deep breath. “Life is short, sweetheart. I am a man born and raised for battle. Valhalla could welcome me any day now, should an enemy blade pierce my flesh, so why waste time?”

He took another step, and Nesta swallowed. He was close— close enough to touch, now.

“When I want something…” he continued, trailing off as his eyes dropped to her lips. They flicked back up, catching her gaze and holding it. “I don’t waste the opportunity.”

Nesta snorted. “Spoken like a true Northman.”

He quirked a brow. “Did you expect anything less?” He dipped his head, leaned in close, his lips close to her ear, his breath warm on her neck. “Did you think all men are like your pitiful excuse for a husband?”

Suddenly, Nesta couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. She had never been one to lose her senses over a man, and yet here she was, feeling her heart racing for all the wrong reasons in the presence of a heathen. It would be so easy for her to reach up, to drag her fingers across his beautiful, rugged face. To feel his heat. 

When he laughed, the sound was like honey. Thick and warm and sweet, washing over her as he lowered his head, his lips a breath away from her neck. His hand hovered over her hip— not touching, not yet, but close enough that one wrong move would bring them crashing together, colliding so forcefully she didn’t think there would be anything left of her by the end of it.

When I want something…

His voice echoed in her head, burning and burning in her blood until the heat made her tip her head back, searching for the cool brush of the night air. The Dane took it for an invitation, his hands coming to rest at her waist. 

She was too stunned to move.

Her body froze, so entirely still that she half thought she might have forgotten to breathe. And yet the space at her waist was warm, his palm seeming to mould to the shape of her, like it was what his hands had been made for.

“Odin has blessed me, it seems,” he muttered, his voice sultry in the dark.

Still, she didn’t move.

And Nesta thought of those hands— the hands he had on her, spanning her waist, his fingers at her spine as his thumb grazed her hip. Strong hands, firm. She swallowed, fighting the urge to pull herself away, grasping for composure as his thumb made another pass over her hip, a long swipe that had her blood heating. 

She didn’t think of what it meant that he was a Dane. 

Of the lives those hands had ended.

Of the monasteries on the coast, raided and burned to the ground.

He smiled at her, all lethal grace and beautiful, exhilarating possibility, and Nesta didn’t think of what it meant that his hands were soaked in Saxon blood.

And wasn’t this the worst kind of treachery— the most despicable treason? To not pull back from a Norseman’s touch, when a century’s worth of Saxon blood had been spilled at the hands of raiders just like him?

Maybe it was the mead. Maybe she’d lost her senses.

But damn her— when he held her, when he touched her, part of her wanted to fall right into him, like he was the sea, beautiful and dangerous, and she was standing alone at the edge of a cliff, hands outstretched.

She tilted towards him, each pounding beat of her heart resounding through her with a force that she thought could shatter a shield wall, and when his hand lifted to drag a finger down the column of her neck, lingering at her collarbone, she felt her eyelids flutter, her lips part. It was a question, an invitation, and she felt the heat of him, his lips so close to her own, and knew that he had understood, that the hand he still had circling her waist was an answer in and of itself.

And then—

From the direction of the hall, suddenly light spilled out into the street. Warm and golden and bright— a candle or a lantern, held in someone’s hand. Voices drifted out from the hall, loud and raucous, accompanied by footsteps. Whether a Dane returning home or a Saxon seeking their lodgings, Nesta didn’t wait to find out.

She hurled herself backwards, her mind clearing as the Dane’s hands slid from her waist. 

In the absence of his touch, common sense came screaming back. She stood in the dark, in a foreign city, with a Dane’s hands on her— a Dane’s lips close enough to kiss. Madness. It was utter madness. No matter what peace had been agreed between her king and his…

He had killed his way to these shores. 

She cleared her throat, putting a safe distance between them. When she glanced up, the moonlight illuminating the planes of his face, she expected to find anger colouring his cheeks, or displeasure narrowing his eyes— the signs she’d grown accustomed to when a man was robbed of what he desired. Instead there was mirth lining the corners of his generous mouth, the starlight reflected in his dark eyes. He didn’t look like a man who had been refused something— no, he looked like a man ready for a challenge, the smile playing on his lips telling her that this might as well have been a game to him.

And the chase, it seemed, had just begun. 

“Good night, then,” he said, offering her a shallow bow as he took a step back. The moonlight gleamed along the edge of his seax, the sharp end of the blade shining like mercury in the darkness of the street, Kallon’s blood still staining the edge, and as the Dane rose to his full height, he shot her a wink that had her standing stunned. 

“Good night,” she answered.

A grin answered her like a slash in the dark, one that imprinted itself in her memory, carved there like the beasts on the pillars in the hall. And as the Dane slipped away back into the shadows, Nesta didn’t look back as she made her way towards the rooms Rhysand had set aside for Alfred’s court, not daring to glance over her shoulder until she had reached the door, standing in the circle of candlelight emitted by the small tallow candle sitting on a ledge beside the window. 

And a small distance away, like he’d followed a hundred paces behind to ensure she got back safely this time,  Nesta saw a glint of silver— and that same smile, white in the dark. 

Taglist: @asnowfern @podemechamardek @c-e-d-dreamer @lady-winter-sunrise @starryblueskies7 @melphss @sv0430 @that-little-red-head @misswonderflower @fwiggle @tanishab @xstarlightsupremex @burningsnowleopard @hiimheresworld @wannawriteyouabook @hereforthenessian @valkyriesupremacy @kale-theteaqueen @moodymelanist @talkfantasytome @pyxxie

[blazehedgehog]

This is a stand in ask that I lost. It was about Sonic Frontiers. It was a four-part ask written kind of smugly about the open zone areas of Sonic Frontiers, and how all the random clutter (springs, dash panels, etc.) and high level of scripting/railroading doesn't fit in very well with open world design. They suggested Sega would have to go back to the drawing board and really change the design for whatever follows next.

So I wanted to redo this ask because I feel like I had a pretty good response.

I opened this ask jokingly calling the anon out for sounding a little snooty, because it used some big words. But my main opener was: Haven't you played Super Mario Odyssey? Each level in Super Mario Odyssey is effectively its own little open world, particularly something like Tostarena.

it's this huge area dotted with a town, ruins, and other landmarks, with big stretches of empty space between them. The landmarks are where the traditional gameplay is -- platforming challenges, enemies, puzzles, and so on, and you have to traverse across the desert to reach them.

I also think about Jak & Daxter, maybe one of the first open world platformers ever, and how it has kind of a hub-and-spoke system. Generally you are working out of a base, like a workshop or a village or something, with roads that lead out of, around, and back into that base area (or to other buildings that act sort of like self-contained dungeons).

Each "road" takes the place of a level. Now, there's nothing keeping you on the road, which is part of the fun, since you can cross between roads, go around obstacles, and so on. But roads are definitely setup to guide you through a space like a level would.

And as someone who plays a lot of it, I think in the context of Fortnite, which is this huge island covered in a spiderweb of roads and pathways leading to, from, and around POIs (Points of Interest).

It's a system that drives all good open world design, and was kind pioneered in Disneyland all the way back in the 1950's. Disney didn't call them "points of interest", he called them "weenies" -- big iconic areas that you can see from long distances that are interesting enough to make you want to explore them, while also helping you stay oriented in the overall space.

So take this screenshot of the current Fortnite map:

My car is parked at a crossroads. Directly ahead of me and a little to the left is a shack where Gwenpool is roaming around. Further in the distance is the POI of "Reckless Railways", which houses the map's Grand Central Station, where the train rolls through and restocks its supplies. Further beyond that are the snowy mountains and the massive Grand Glacier hotel. To the far left, on the edge of the image, is the forge at Dr. Doom's castle.

Roads are meant for traveling quickly down. They lead you to points of interest, where you slow down and comb through an area carefully. And, obviously, there's all kinds of little landmarks dotted all over the place between major POIs, encouraging you to get off the road and go exploring. Gas stations and ruins and little shacks and stuff.

It's extremely easy to adapt these concepts to a Sonic game, which is what's so baffling about Sonic Frontiers being such an incoherent mess.

Roads should be your boost Sonic zones. It can't be a random collection of junk, it can't be something you unlock as a means of "fast travel." There has to be an identifiable road, a series of pathways leading you around the island. You put grind rails and boost pads and dash rings along this road. This is where players are supposed to go fast. Roads = travel.

These roads will lead you to points of interest and other landmarks. A POI, like in Super Mario Odyssey, is where puzzles, platforming, and exploration are mostly done. I do not mean "four stone buildings" like in Sonic Frontiers. I mean a place that feels like a place. A location that feels like it has character. Personality. Something you work your way through, absorb, and conquer. Again, like Odyssey.

And then you stash little secrets and landmarks off the beaten path for players who want to go offroading.

2-3 islands per game, 2-3 biomes per island. You can have specific race or time trial missions to and from different landmarks, you can have POI exploration missions, you can have missions to change the state of these POIs like blowing up power plants or unlocking gates. Maybe Eggman has a giant pipe he's using to pump toxic chemicals into the water, so you have to turn off the pump and then you get to run down the inside of the empty pipe like an F-Zero GX track.

It's easy to design this game. You don't even need cyberspace levels. Heck, remember GTA5? Most missions had bronze, silver, and gold medals. You can still have a ranking system in an open world game.

Look, I even drew art of this concept, what, four years ago? five?

Somebody should pay me a livable wage for this kind of stuff

[veado-01]

i like hakuouki but every time i see an image of all the male characters together it just looks like this

[journeyofbell]

Titan Luz in 'Watching And Dreaming'

[quietwingsinthesky]

thinks about the master & the doctor cuddling thinks about them cuddling thinks about them cuddling thinks about them cuddlign thinks-

[icewindandboringhorror]

misc photo diary stuff.. also this unintentionally all matches sort of lol.. warm toned photos?

[quodekash]

The fact that sound and gun sit next to each other in class is everything to me

Like first of all: in future episodes imagine them whispering about tinn and win together gfgfggffggfgf 

And then there’s also the fact that sound chose to sit next to gun. I mean it was the only available spot, but also, it shows you so much about their relationship. Like im not at all surprised that gun was the first person sound told about win.

Why do they sit next to each other? You wouldn’t expect it at first. Gun was the leader. Sound blamed him for how bad their band was, because gun was the leader and he’s supposed to make everyone sound good. Sound then stole gun’s position. And gun let him, gun knew it was best for the band, but it was clear he didn’t like it. And sound probably has felt weird about that in the future, has wondered why gun is so nice to him when he insulted him and kicked him out of the band. Sound is probably confused as to why, when gun came back, he still accepted him as one of their own. “You’re our solo guitarist.” He was given a chinchilla blanket hoodie. He’s one of them. 

And now they sit next to each other in class, because of Gun’s kindness.

Sound has never expected to connect so deeply with anyone. He’s famous, so people want to be near him, but they don’t want to know him or understand him or truly be his friend. He’s come to understand over time that people only want him for his fame, for his popularity. (Hence his bad reaction when they first asked him to join their band.) So when some kids ask him to genuinely stay in their band, even though he insulted them and yelled at them and told them they’d get nowhere and made them do things they didn’t want to do, when they want him to stay with them and play in their band despite all that, he feels almost like he belongs. And, more than that, Gun opens up to sound at the end of that episode. He explains the reason behind the bbq pork, so sound can understand, so that sound can participate in their little ritual thingies, so that sound can be one of them. 

And he sits next to them, because - whether he likes it or not at this point - they’re his group now. And as time goes on, he grows to understand each and every one of them more and more. He learns more about them. He connects with them. He goes further from from “I’m here because im good at guitar”, and "I’m here because I have no other choice”, and closer to “I’m here because these people genuinely like me and they want me here and they enjoy being in my presence for me being me”, and to “I'm here because I want to be here, because these are my people, because I like them and they like me, because I understand them and know them and enjoy being around them and I love their little rituals and I love being part of the group and I love having a role and I love having a purpose and I love these people”

And satang does such a good job at conveying all of this, he’s so talented, and so is P’Auf and his amazing directing skills. I adore this show and these actors and these characters 

Oh and, because of that, it also goes from “I’m sitting here because there’s an empty spot and I play guitar for these people”, to “I’m sitting here because this person was nice to me” and then to “I’m sitting here because this person is the reason these people like me,” and “I’m sitting here because this is my friend and these are my friends” 

And sound and gun are such close friends, even though sound’s been part of the group for the least amount of time. They have their bond through their connection to music - out of all of them, they’re the two most serious musicians. They can give each other feedback and support in their music that some of the others can’t, because their ears aren’t as keen or they can only focus on improving themselves. 

And sound can pick up on the group’s flaws easier than gun can, because gun often doesn’t seem to know how to be critical of his friends. Sound does. Sound giving feedback is his way of helping, to get them to improve, so that they all feel better about the music they’re playing. But Gun is the glue that keeps them all together, the one who delivers the feedback in the way that is best for each of them, the one who knows them. They’re both extremely talented musicians and they balance out each other’s strengths and weaknesses. 

Gun is the leader of the band, but sound is almost a co-pilot. Gun can’t fly the plane as well without sound’s support, but with them both working together, they can solve any issues of turbulence that may occur. (Disclaimer: I have no clue how planes work so im trying to keep this part vague) They are friends. They sit next to each other. Their friendship is feedback and notes and music and laughter.

(Somehow this post turned into a sound analysis and then a gunsound friendship appreciation post) 

[mainfaggot]

the last time i felt emotionally fulfilled in a friendship was when i was 15, and before that when i was 13. im turning 21 next month

[chilledmilk]

today is my birthday! unrelatedly, i'm also an artist, and i also play dnd. as a treat for myself i wanted to post some of the art i've made (or hastily drawn during a session) of one of my dnd characters, maricious "maurice" flathollow the tiefling paladin: guardian angel, slayer of beasts, and woo-er of slime nuns.

[btsbs]

.

[horrorwebs]

I MADE MORE FRIENDS . !!