#and it gets nastier
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AND TAKES AND TAKES AND TAKES AGAIN
#still alive and getting my feelings out#cw: gore#cw: amputation#art#vent#tiger#furry#gore#queer artist#protest#digital art#gonna see what i can slap a signature on and post when i get home. and i want to get nastier with my art#posting this now even though it's got some errors because if i wait I won't#god my stuff on here is so old
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Need to see more of THIS Daniel - maybe running a bit wild after his first divorce and Pulitzer Prize and a bit more mean - with Armand.
#iwtv#daniel molloy#eric bogosian#armandaniel#Armand#devils minion#interview with the vampire#hes freakier and a bit nastier#and he gets what he wants#they matched each other's freak
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there's an ooze in edinburgh.
for zine-o-ween. be careful if you visit. side-step any ooze you see.
#nariart#narizine#zines#mini zines#8 page zine#1 sheet zine#a4 zine#zine#described#id in alt#described art#artists on tumblr#queer artist#edinburgh#horror#unreality#scotland#we kept joking about avoiding various mess on the streets as 'avoiding the ooze'#because i don't wanna get my cane nastier than it already is if i cannot determine the source of the ooze#ergo. mysterious Ooze.#halloween#zine-o-ween
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i love how everyone in the asks uses the anon function bc we're all too scared to let ppl know we're monsterf*ckers lol
hhhhhh I accept and appreciate you all, despite your cowardice
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they are going to mehnahnaroo
#my art#mission to zyxx#C-53#pleck decksetter#dar mtz#ok time for some of my appearance headcanons#i was just gonna give c little dot eyes but i was goofing around with the doodle#and i was like. oh actually little light up ocular sensors that look like 👁️👁️ are kinda funny#i'm kinda trying to hit the space where the juck bot frame could conceivably have the same inner workings as the c frame#but it's got more like. idk plating and synthetic skin and stuff#i also think that ideally this type of frame is supposed to be more fully covered? with skin. less visible joints#and is supposed to have a cooler better looking face#but they got it at a discount store that sorta refurbished it juuuuuuust well enough to sell#they also mention in the show that the eyes glow and the jaw comes off#if there were any other details i forgot about them#i like tellurians to be Pretty Much Human#but I do like the pointy ears interpretation for one main reason:#i can put perfect little pointy ones on tellurians that are the Standard for good looks (rolphus etc.)#and give pleck ones that are slightly larger and a little bent. i just think that's fun#i'm also a short pleck truther and do not believe he is skinny. that man is at least midsized. actually probably just midsized#cause if he were too big he would be too cool#ohh and first time drawing the k'hekk eye yayyyy. it should probably be nastier but i can only do so much#dar i really imagine round cause it's like the classic Big Guy shape and they have no bones in their head so it can't be that structured#bodywise my design is def inspired by tikkitronictonic and snuffysbox's designs#i was at a total loss on how to interpret the talons and chutes and flaps when I was listening and this is easy and smooth#maybe the only major difference is that i imagine dar is pretty hygienic and furry scales feel like they'd be hard to keep clean#with all the uh. goings on#so i've got those across the chest and arms and then the torso is smoother in my mind#also ik dar is supposed to be like twice pleck's size but it's hard to stand these people next to each other#my brother said they made up a thing called mass shifting in transformers g1 to excuse the scale issues. so i'll do it too. get off my case
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And Take Away Its Pain: A Comparison of Masculinity, Trauma, and Queerness in Warcraft and Warframe
First, I want to shout out my friend Silriven at BluSky. (If any of you are mean to her I will Find You.) This thread she wrote recently reflecting on if/how she still likes Anduin as a character was what got me started writing this essay. She talks about the fandom response to Anduin, and the ways both the fandom and writers contradict themselves in discussing the character. The reason I wrote this essay is because I can think of another character and video game that work as a counterpoint to the way Anduin is portrayed.
Even before this specific thread, I made made a thread on BluSky comparing Warcraft and Warframe much earlier because both these games had major update reveals at around the same time. Not only that, but their content served as an interesting contrast between the different games' stories, and my own reactions to each.
The War Within[1] trailer and related announcements were revealed at Blizzcon 2023, around the same time as Digital Extremes, the developers of Warframe, held Tennocon 2023, which included a thirty minute demo of their next major story update, Whispers in the Walls.
For those unfamiliar with either/or World of Warcraft and Warframe, I’ll give a quick summary of the trailers.
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In TWW trailer trailer we see Anduin Wrynn sitting by himself in a desert. Anduin is a character the players have known for a long time, and last time we saw him he chose to disappear in response to a trauma he suffered in that expansion’s story. Here his face is dirty, he’s grown out a beard, and his hair is cut short. He has a vision of something that looks like a star calling his name. A second character appears, an orc named Thrall. The two talk; Thrall is calm while Anduin is angry and confrontational. They discuss the visions they’ve been having, how someone at “the heart of the world” is calling out to them. (Anybody who’s kept up with Warcaft's story even a little bit will know this voice is the Titan Azeroth, who lives inside the planet Azeroth.) When Thrall touches Anduin’s shoulder, Anduin has a brief flashback to when the ghost of his father touched his shoulder. Anduin draws his sword and declares “I’m not that person anymore! I have no Light! Not after what I’ve seen, not after what I’ve done!” Thrall replies “You are not your past, Anduin” and expresses his trust in Anduin, who struggles to not cry, and lowers his sword. Both of them experience a much stronger vision of the star calling for them, then Anduin accepts Thrall’s hand, and Anduin pledges to stand with him. They both express confusion at who could be calling out to them. (It’s Azeroth you dinguses!!!) The trailer ends with a cool shot of a giant sword sticking out of the desert, before switching to The War Within expansion logo.
Now, the Whispers In The Walls showcase was a full demo including gameplay, but to keep the comparison as fair as possible, I only talk about the opening three minutes [2]. You can see the whole showcase here.
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In the Whispers preview, we open with a cutscene. We start with some spooky eldritch speech, then we shift to someone the player will have heard of before, but never seen, Albrecht Entrati. Albrecht checks a beeping pager, and then an old computer, both out of place against the stylized sci-fi future setting of Warframe. He is followed by his feline companion. He gives his cat some pats, then he sits in a sci-fi casket, where his kitty also curls up. A second character, who we’ll learn later is named Loid, approaches Albrecht with his head bowed and eyes on the floor. Albrecht reaches up to Loid to touch his cheek, and wipes away a tear with his thumb. (Remember this moment, it's important for a point I'll make near the end of this essay.) Albrecht's dialogue is subtitled as (Quiet whispering). Then Albrecht lays down, and the casket closes. Loid raises a hammer as the casket makes loud sounds and lights flash, before he finally brings the hammer down to smash the casket. The screen cuts to black, then the gameplay starts.
Comparing these two teasers at the time, I thought about how Whispers was much more effective at building a story hook by creating mystery. Even if I limit myself to that opening cinematic, we have one character, Albrecht, who we’ve heard a great deal about and is important to the story, but we’ve yet to meet him in-person. The contrast of his 90’s tech and fashion against the more fantastical technology common to Warframe’s universe is stark and creates interesting questions. We’re introduced to this relationship Albrecht has with Loid. I don’t know who these people are or what their circumstances are, but I see genuine love and conflict. I’m already invested in learning more and seeing what happens to them. It’s a great hook! I actually rewatched that opening three minutes a few times while writing this because I have brainworms!
The TWW trailer is about creating a hook based on seeing where beloved characters are now, seeing what’s become of them when the player wasn’t looking. Azeroth the Titan is speaking to the main cast, which is clear to the audience familiar with the game but not the characters for unclear reasons. Anduin is still suffering, unable or unwilling to heal from his trauma. Thrall wants to him to come out of hiding. Anduin agrees to. That’s it. What’s the story hook here? Anduin seems to have gone nowhere in the years since he was last seen, and I have no sense of where his story (or Thrall’s, or Azeroth’s) might be going. I don't even know why Anduin changes his mind and chooses to help Thrall. What, just because there's another big threat to the world? The last one wasn't enough to bring you out of hiding? It’s just stuff happening, a general sense of vague Peril. I can't even get that excited about the shot of Sargeras' sword! Blizz should've thought to address that earlier, like, when the planet got stabbed! That was cool and exciting! Our planet got stabbed by Warcraft Satan! Then it's ignored for years until now, after people kept asking what was going to happen to it. The trailer tries to build a mystery about where the visions are coming from, but it's the Titan Azeroth, the players figured it out right away, there's no mystery. I don't have any reason to feel like the writers care about the story, setting, or characters. I’m left feeling nothing for any of it but a vague sense of disappointment.
Even more, the TWW trailer feels like it’s deliberately avoiding adding any details. Anduin talks about how he’s lost his Light, how he’s “not that person anymore” which is not a bad way to take his arc, but I can’t connect it to when Anduin was enslaved by the Jailer in Shadowlands. I know where his trauma comes from, but the trailer makes no effort to explain or expand on how those specific events affected him. I’m not even going to explain what any of that means to people unfamiliar with Warcraft because it doesn’t matter! In both dialogue and in visuals, the trailer gives little texture or meaning to what Anduin is feeling. In the Whispers trailer, I know Loid is sad, not just because Albrecht is leaving, but that he has to have a role in that departure. I don't know what happened to Albrecht at this point, but the emotional hook is there along with the questions about the story. I care because I believe these two characters are in love. Why should I care that Anduin feels he's lost his Light? I have no sense of what this loss means or feels like. I have no sense of what he's struggling with, or what he might face in the future.
Since those trailers were released, Warframe had its promised Whispers update, and I’ve played the full quest and leveled up the linked faction, which contained more story. While I know I’m being unfair comparing a trailer to a full release, I will continue to do so anyway because 1) I’m a bitter old faggot, and 2) the full story of Whispers makes the comparison between Loid/Whispers as a whole and Anduin/TWW even more interesting/saddening.
This is your warning that I’ll be spoiling the quest Whispers In The Walls. Eventually. I've got some foundation I want to lay first.
I found a tweet thread by Christie Golden, one of Warcraft’s major writers. She links a TIME article about a woman struggling to raise her son to be gentle and kind in a world that encourages anger and violence in men. Golden lists Anduin (among others) as an example of nontoxic masculinity in fictional media. In her replies she goes on to expand on her thoughts.
Here’s the tweet by Golden that stuck out to me: “Too often men and boys who gravitate to the gentler side are automatically perceived as being gay, whether they are or not. ALL men/boys should be able to display these qualities, just like all girls/women can be tough and fearless and athletic if that's who they are.”
What’s wrong with being perceived as gay, Golden?
To be fair, there is a point here about assuming someone’s sexuality based on their personality or behavior. That is nonsense, and assigning traits to someone based on an observer’s opinion isn’t good. I even agree that not all straight characters should be one thing and all gay characters should be another! The problem with Golden’s statement is the implicit bias, being “automatically perceived as being gay” is framed as something bad. Why shouldn’t straight men and boys look up to a gay character? Can they not see themselves in a queer character? Why?
This is another reason why the comparison between TWW and Whispers is so interesting, because Whispers is gay. Sure, there are people who will argue Loid and Albrecht weren’t in love, because no one explicitly says they were together, but if you’re paying attention that’s unneeded. Loid refers to Albrecht as “my Albrecht”, and later, in a diary entry, we hear Albrecht refer to Loid as “my Loid”. There's a moment in the quest where we watch a recording of Albrecht, and he says, “I need Loid to understand why I had to leave. Without him. Why I forced him to destroy the device after I had gone. And why I could never say the words he so needed to hear.”
If you listen to the codex entry “Albrecht’s Notes: The Aftermath” about what he went through after coming back injured from the Void, you get even more. Albrecht describes Loid as “crooning motherly” and how “Loid nursed me then” back to full health. His descriptions, and the voice acting, are entirely earnest. There is no sarcasm or veiled disdain as he describes Loid in these feminine terms. The affection Albrecht both received, and gave, was genuine.
“The agony bit deep, but it was clean. Blameless love bled up from me.
I had decided to live.”
Yes, yes, this section is partly for me to be snappy at the people in the Warframe community who insist Loid and Albrecht aren’t a couple. What I want to demonstrate here is mechanically how Warframe tells its audience these characters are in love without needing to spell it out. Why it’s reasonable (and valid) to interpret characters as queer even if they don’t list their labels on their bios, so to speak.
To bring this back to the character of Anduin Wrynn: while he’s never been officially portrayed as queer, his story, at least in its earliest years, very much was.
Though we don't see much of Anduin in-game early in Warcraft's life, his first story plays out in the supplementary comics and novels. There’s a conflict between who Anduin feels he is and who he is expected to be. He’s expected to become a warrior like his father, Varian, but Anduin finds wielding weapons difficult. He's unable to reach Varian's standards for who he should be. Instead, Anduin chooses to become a healer, in Warcraft terms he chooses the priest class, and focuses on spellcasting and support. At one point, as Anduin is about to leave home to go and train in healing magic, Varian reaches out and nearly breaks his son's arm in his attempt to force him to stay. Varian is horrified at what he's done, and Anduin leaves.
Anduin's story is literally about rejecting the traditional masculinity his father represents to pursue his own, alternative path. We see how the life Varian's lived, a warrior's life full of violence, has poisoned his relationship with his son, how his toxic masculinity was a destructive force. Varian’s story in parallel is learning to accept Anduin’s choice, and learning to understand that his son is still powerful and capable, even if he’s not “strong” in the way Varian himself is. In addition, Anduin is one of the few characters who objects to the war(craft) between the two player factions and wants to find peace between them. Anduin’s story was, in theme if not in content, very much a queer narrative! It's about challenging tradition and finding a path that's more true to who he is and what he believes in.
This was why I connected with the character of Anduin initially. I started playing Warcraft in late Wrath of the Lich King, after ICC came out. When I first met Anduin he had a default human child model, and he said and did basically nothing. Then Cataclysm was released, he got his own teenager model, and a whole questline to himself. Suddenly he was someone with agency, wants, and personality! And then Mists of Pandaria came out and Anduin got to be a major focus of an entire expansion!
Anduin was absent from the next expansion, but the one after, Legion, Anduin returned with an adult model, and his father dies during the story's prologue. While he didn’t get the same focus he did in Mists, in Legion Anduin still had a whole storyline about becoming king, accepting his new role, and making peace with his father's death. It's smaller than his role in Mists, but it's a storyline I enjoyed!
I’ve literally watched this character grow up in real time. It’s a powerful experience!
(Side note: there’s a lot that can be said about Anduin as a monarch, what kind of state head he is, how he treats his people, and is an aspect that largely goes unacknowledged in the canon story. I'll shout out Silriven again, this is a topic she's gone a good job of discussing before. I want to acknowledge this part of his character, but I consider it beyond the scope of this specific essay. I do think making him king, making him someone who extracts taxes and sends people to die in war, does have a major impact on his character, his masculinity, and how he processes trauma. However, talking about monarchy, even a fictional one, is its own topic and needs its own space to explore. It's something to keep in mind whenever discussing any major character in Warcraft who is also a major political leader.)
Through all this I would say I saw Anduin as queer. At no point does he express serious romantic interest in anyone, nor does he appear to be under any pressure to find a partner through either societal or political norms. The themes of his stories made me think he was gay, especially as the only other character he grows close to is another boy. Anduin was a comfort character for me.
This began to change in the expansion after Legion, Battle for Azeroth.
Anduin begins to wear a set of plate armor, looking more like his warrior father, and the role he once rejected, than the priest he chose to be. He leads his armies in a war that he used to be wholly against, a contradiction he never fully confronts. When he punches Wrathion, a childhood friend who reappeared in the last expansion patch, players responded with praise in real life. “Manduin” punched Wrathion, who Anduin claimed was responsible for his father’s death. Which he wasn’t, and can only be seen as responsible through a Five Degrees of Kevin Bacon type web. I'm not sure why Anduin says this, unless the writers wanted to either smear Wrathion or erase the history of friendship the two had previously. Or, maybe they didn't want to bring up any legitimate reasons Anduin might be angry at Wrathion, like abandoning him. If I had a nickel every time one person abandoned another to go on an ill-fated time travel adventure, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't much but it's weird it happened twice.
(Here's a tangent: Imagine if Albrecht ended up in alternate Draenor and/or Wrathion ended up in 1999. Those stories would've gone VERY differently.)
Since I’ve brought him up, it’s time to talk about Anduin and Wrathion.
This topic is. Divisive. In the Warcraft fandom.
Wranduin, the ship name, is something that appeared in fandom mid Mists when the two characters first met. Anduin was curious about who this Wrathion person was and set out to investigate. Long story short, their families had a long history of conflict, and Anduin had every reason to be suspicious and mistrustful of Wrathion. Was openly mistrustful of Wrathion. They continue to hang out together through the rest of the expansion.
This all leads up to a particular moment in the novel War Crimes, taking place after the main events of Mists of Pandaria. Anduin and Wrathion continue to spend time with each other in that book, playing games and discussing politics. When Anduin expresses how tired he is, Wrathion declares “I shall, if asked politely, take you on my back and ferry you to fascinating places, where we will have adventures that will age your father ten years in one night.”
I've never read any of the books myself, but I’ve seen this passage passed around online and it stands out to me. It feels genuine, two teenagers who are close friends but also bad at vulnerability and Feelings, making a connection and finding comfort in each other. I’m not even asking anyone to see a romantic angle to this, just to understand the emotions of the moment. It feels specific to them.
I was in the Warcraft fandom during Mists, I thought their relationship was interesting, and it could make for an interesting romance. Despite ideological differences, they were very much kindred spirits. People born into power who’ve also suffered immense loss of agency. Both were forced to grow up quickly, had their lives endangered at young ages, and both want to protect the world they live in, even if that means different things to both of them. That tension, the clash between their ideals and their personalities, the potential for connection and division both, was what made their relationship so interesting.
Then Wrathion disappeared for several expansions, came back in BofA, and the first thing that happens is Anduin punches him in the face. We never see them in a scene together after this moment ends.
It's worth noting that while Wrathion isn't human (he's a dragon in disguise) his humanoid form makes him one of the very few non-white characters in the main cast. They reintroduce him by having a white man, who was once a friend, punch him in the face. This is an action Anduin has never apologized to Wrathion for.
There’s another Warframe character I want to talk about briefly: Ticker. She’s a trans woman.
She's been in the game much longer than Loid and Albrecht, but like them, her identity is never explicitly stated, but at the same time it's unambiguous. She has a deeper, more masculine voice, has a masculine appearance (Old Mate rank spoilers, but if you know you know) while her body language is very feminine and she uses exclusively feminine pronouns and terms for herself. One her voice lines when you speak with her is “A person gets told a lot of things over the course of a life. Who they are. Who they should be. Amateurs, lecturing a professional.”
She is a trans woman, she has some of the best lines in the game, and I love her.
My greatest disappointment with Ticker is that she isn’t involved in the greater storyline associated with her zone. We do meet other good characters (Eudico in particular is a lady character I adore) but Ticker’s exclusion sticks out to me. Sure, one could point to Smokefinger as also being largely absent, but Ticker’s role in the story is to help pay off people’s debts so they don’t suffer more than they have to. This is something she has to do in secret (to her boss’s boss, not to the player natch) or risk facing harsh punishment herself. This could tie directly into the area’s larger story about a workers' union violently revolting against its hyper-capitalist overlords. Why isn’t she in Vox Solaris DE??? By the way, the player sides with the union.
(Side note: Blizzard is an American studio, while Digital Extremes is Canadian. I can feel a potential discussion of these two countries, labor unions, and these two games, but like the point about monarchy in Warcraft, that needs its own space. There's definitely things to talk about, but I'd need to do real research before I could begin to approach it.)
So looking at Ticker, then looking at Whispers, this update shows growth to me. Warframe is showing two men in love[3], both characters and their identities are treated with respect by the narrative and other characters. Yes, this isn’t the same as depicting a canonical trans woman, but I’m inclined to be patient and kind when I sense that creator(s) are earnest about portraying experiences that aren’t theirs. We all have internal biases we need to uproot, it’s a journey that will last our whole lives, and one that will inevitably end incomplete. We can all and always learn to improve our art, as well as our compassion and understanding of other people. For me, forgiveness for earlier depictions that were poor or problematic is easy when I believe the creator(s) are making a sincere effort. We all make mistakes, and we all grow. Hopefully DE will add another canonical trans person to their game who will have a bigger role.
I’m hammering this point home because I have never felt this level of sincere effort from Blizzard.
I know I’m comparing an middle-ish game studio to a massive AAA company, and I do not care. Whether it’s because of the writers’ cowardice or a producer’s mandate, Warcraft takes only small steps to be inclusive, while Warframe is genuinely trying. (DE also updated skin shaders specifically so darker tones would look nicer in their new lighting system!) It's things like this that make Golden's talk about Anduin being an example of nontoxic masculinity ring hollow. Only one of these games seems willing to engage with marginalized stories, with people who live outside of the strict roles we're assigned. The concept of "nontoxic masculinity" cannot exist if one is unwilling to engage with queerness. Allowing men to embrace more gentle behaviors also means not shaming anyone for being gay. Allowing men to do and be things that aren't the pinnacle of traditional masculinity means understanding and embracing that men can and will engage in more feminine behaviors or roles, and this doesn't diminish their gender identity. These concepts are linked.
(I know this is a very binary way of framing these concepts, but let me tell you, Blizz is NOT ready for that discussion.)
Warcraft has added gay characters or made some existing characters gay, but never anybody in the main cast, nothing that would get a major spotlight. Anduin could’ve been an easy solve for this, whether he started a relationship with Wrathion or someone else, it doesn’t matter! Having a major character in a game as large as World of Warcraft would've meant so much. Instead they hide their queer characters in secondary roles, in supplementary media, and made them into easter eggs in the game. Never major characters, never the focus of the story. Nothing they would, for example, show off at a major convention in 2023.
Moving away from talking about queerness for a moment, something that struck me watching the Whispers demo again is that DE isn't afraid to make their new character flawed. I don't want to say unlikable necessarily, because I did like Loid right away, but he's also rude to the established character traveling with us ("Resume your duties, construct!) and then dismissive of the player. He's supposed to wait for an "operator" to arrive at the labs, and thinks it's obviously not the player. By the end of the quest (which I'll talk about in a moment because yes it's relevant) Loid comes to accept that the player is the one he's meant to work with. When you level up the related faction in the full release, Loid eventually tells the player that his role was to care for Albrecht, and it would be his honor to extend that same service to the player. This arc is sweet and feels earned because Loid started so abrasive, the writers weren't afraid to make him abrasive, and even by the end I wouldn't say he's flawless. In fact, in the next update, Dante Unbound, DE has hinted that Loid will have to confront the established character he was rude to in Whispers. Loid feels like a person who's going through shit, in the way that people go through shit. Not with grace, but trying his best anyway.
I bring this up because one of the long standing issues with Anduin as a character, which has gotten worse as time goes on, is the unwillingness to give Anduin flaws. I wonder if this connects back to the point about the lack of specificity about his feelings or experiences in TWW trailer, why Thrall's simple "You are not your past" feels so strange, and why the trailer seems reluctant to acknowledge Anduin's anger as a problem. Anduin has, for a while, been positioned as a moral core for the game, the character who is primarily interested in peace for unselfish reasons. Part of the reason I enjoyed Anduin as a character in Mists was because, sometimes, he got to act like a shitty teenager. He'd be sarcastic or smarmy or do something objectively dumb, like run off to fight a major enemy of his nation on his own. This is especially true when interacting with Wrathion, which includes Anduin using the taunt "You're what, two years old?" To which Wrathion replies "Two in DRAGON years." It's very endearing! Look at these brats, they're believable teenage friends to me. Yes, Anduin is one of the few peace-seekers in the story, he tries so hard to be good and kind even to his enemies, but in moments like these he still feels like a person.
We could look at TWW and say Anduin is demonstrating anger issues, which would be interesting because, like in the example of almost breaking Anduin's arm, this was something Varian struggled with. Except it doesn't feel like the trailer recognizes this as a flaw. The moment goes by and is quickly forgotten. I can look at Loid in Whispers and I recognize where his bitterness comes from: he felt abandoned and so pushes others away. The one detail I did like in TWW trailer was the comparison between Thrall touching Anduin's shoulder, and Varian's ghost doing the same in the past. That moment felt like a trigger for Anduin, reminding him of that moment when he was so vulnerable, but also of his grief for his father. (Nevermind we had that story in Legion about Anduin coming to terms with his grief. Let's ignore that.) It's the most sincere moment of the trailer, but it doesn't follow through! As soon as the second vision dissipates, Anduin takes Thrall's hand and pledges to help. Why? Again, "because there's another big cosmic threat" isn't a good enough reason. What does he feel in this moment? Why did he change his mind now?
Nontoxic masculinity doesn't mean "flawless person". I would still say Loid is a good example of nontoxic masculinity, regardless of if or when he does engage in more toxic behaviors. I'd say as a character Loid is a better demonstration than Anduin of nontoxic masculinity because he's capable of self-reflection, realizing he did something bad, and correcting himself. One interpretation of events in the story of Whispers (because much of Warframe is open to interpretation) is that the local eldritch horror was feeding off of Loid's resentment towards Albrecht, and this was fueling its assault on the labs. Only in reminding Loid of Albrecht's feelings for him, specifically in a way Loid had been deliberately avoiding, can the player begin to take down the bad guy of the quest.
This is a great time to move to my last point about Whispers’ full story: the ending.
I know we can talk about ludonarrative dissonance about two games where the player regularly enacts mass murder and trying to square that with certain story themes. Listen. Hear me out.
In Warcraft, the solution to the final boss is always kill them. (Or arrest them in the case of Garrosh in Mists. In truth this was only a stay of execution). Part of this is the limit of always putting an expansion’s conclusion in a raid. There always needs to be a big fight in a specific kind of setting with specific player expectations. I wish Blizz played with this more; maybe we can only seal away the bad thing? Or maybe the goal is to hold something off while an NPC does a magical ritual that saves the day by some other method? I’m sure there are possible, creative solutions other than “hit bad guy (or his toes if he’s big) until bad guy falls over”.
How does the player save the day in Whispers in the Walls? I’m going to cover this in detail because it’s one of my favorite moments in the whole game.
You spend much of the quest fighting off The Murmur, constructs summoned by the local eldritch horror, called the Indifference (among many other names[4]) which is trying to break into the labs the quest takes place in. The final encounter, the story's climax, has the Indifference possesses a Vessel, one of many unfinished biomechanical giants Albrecht created and left scattered around his lab. The evil Vessel moves in to attack the player, who then possesses a Vessel themself.
The player’s Vessel holds up a hand, and we see a button prompt.
I'm stealing a point from another Tumblr user because it's great. Go read their post and the replies if you're curious about this particular moment!
This button prompt isn’t unusual. There aren’t many quick time events in Warframe, they're not a part of regular run and gun gameplay, but they do appear. If you’re like me, you’ve gone into the accessibility options and toggled button mashing off because wrists hurt. This prompt isn’t unusual to see for me.
But if you didn't use that accessibility toggle, you'll still get this specific prompt. It will be unusual that you're being asked to hold to interact with the scene, rather than the usual smash a button to make thing happen.
So you hold the button, the player’s Vessel reaches out, and when I first played I got excited because I think I’m powering up a big blast to destroy the enemy Vessel!
Then this happens:
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I encourage everyone who can to watch the video for the full effect, but I’ll still describe it here:
The background music is ominous, and as you hold the button there's a heartbeat sound. The player's Vessel slowly reaches toward the enemy Vessel. When then the prompt button disappears, the scene goes quiet. The player Vessel gently holds the enemy Vessel's face, mirroring how Albrecht did to Loid at the beginning of the quest. As the music changes to a calming vocal track, we see the enemy Vessel's face change, drop from aggressive to lonely longing. The camera backs away as the two Vessels slow to a stop, posed to echo that "memory of love". The camera switches to Loid, who holds a hand to his own cheek, then looks back at the Vessels. He understands the connection too.
This kind of thing isn’t unheard of for Warframe either! I'll keep additional spoilers to a minimum, but a previous main story quest, The Sacrifice, has similar themes. In fact, my favorite moment from that quest involves a monologue by a major villain about how he is literally unable to comprehend the idea of empathy or compassion. He doesn’t understand why the player character, in a moment of vulnerability and understanding, is able to do what he couldn’t, with all of his violence and brutality.
“And it was not their force of will - not their Void devilry - not their alien darkness. It was something else. It was that somehow, from within the derelict-horror, they had learned a way to see inside an ugly, broken thing —
— and take away its pain.” [5]
In a story where the primary antagonist is a mysterious entity called “The Indifference” we don’t defeat it with force. With hate. What’s the opposite of Indifference?
It’s old man yaoi love. We defeat Indifference with love.
I don’t feel like I was cheated out of a cool moment. I suspect some people did. It’s not like Whispers didn’t have cool moments! I’m not even going to argue that this moment was uncool, just that it brought up different and unexpected emotions in me! It was an interesting and affecting twist on how we expect these encounters to go. It’s moments like these that tell me that Warframe's writers, for all their flaws, are putting genuine thought and emotion into their game. They’re thinking about characters and themes, trying to follow them through even with the scattershot way that video game design demands writers work.
Writing this description reminds me of a moment in Shadowlands, the expansion that traumatized Anduin. It takes place in (surprise!) the Shadowlands, the afterlife of Warcraft’s universe. Thrall, the second character we see in the TWW trailer, meets his mother in Shadowlands. She died when he was a baby, and now that he meets her in these weird circumstances, they begin to create the bond they couldn’t have before. In particular I found this conversation they have touching. A mother who didn't get to know her son, and a son who never knew his mother, finally get to connect. “I knew who you were the moment I saw you,” Draka tells him, “Do you really think I would not recognize Durotan's eyes?"
“Come, I wish to know more of your life, all of it,” she says to him, sounding tired.
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It’s such a sweet moment, and bonus points for focusing on Draka, a woman who was functionally fridged prior, who now gets to be a character with personality and (some) agency in Shadowlands. It’s such a perfect demonstration of everything that could’ve been interesting in Shadowlands, what was and is interesting in Warcraft’s story, and what’s so often set aside or overlooked. Can they continue to have a relationship when the current conflict is over? Questions like this are interesting, but Shadowlands doesn’t engage with them at all, and it's poorer for it.
In Warcraft, trauma is aesthetic. Pain is aesthetic. It doesn’t matter what caused Anduin’s suffering in TWW trailer, all that’s important is that we know he’s suffering. We know he's important because he’s a main character and he’s sad about something. But, like, not sad in a way that would make him cry. That part is critical because we all know boys don't cry, right? That bias feels implicit in much of Warcraft's emotional moments. How much more touching would Thrall and Draka's reunion be if Thrall was allowed to cry at finally getting to meet his mom?
Loid does cry, at the beginning of Whispers' quest and during the story of the faction associated with the update. His emotions, and thus his story, feel more genuine and engaging for allowing him that vulnerability.
Warframe wants to engage with specific traumas, how they can make us bitter towards others, perpetuate our own and others’ pain. The point of pain is to understand it, because in understanding, that pain can be taken away. Warcraft has no interest in taking away pain, and it has no interest in understanding it. It’s not about emotional connection, because that requires a vulnerability and a capacity to self-reflect that Warcraft has no interest or courage to engage with. Pain is aesthetic.
Whispers is setting up a longer story arc for Warframe. At the time Whispers was revealed, Warframe was celebrating its 10th anniversary, and the previous main story quest wrapped up the storyline the game told from its release. In this way, Whispers is again an interesting comparison to Warcraft’s The War Within. TWW is also meant to be the start of a new story arc that will last several expansions. I know which story I’m excited about, and which one I feel nothing for.
Loid was a character I met for the first time last year, he immediately felt like a person, and I was emotionally invested. As a player I so badly want Albrecht to finally say the words Loid needed to hear. Anduin Wrynn is someone I’ve known for years, but is now a cardboard cutout. I don't feel compelled to follow his story because... what could it be? Warcraft doesn't seem interested in any conclusion or goal for him. He just is.
I have a lot of complicated emotions about World of Warcraft, as a game and as an influential piece of media. I played the game for many years, and it was an important part of my life. In many ways I’d say it's still a part of me, even after I stopped playing the game itself. Part of writing this essay was following up on some thoughts I shared with friends on BluSky, but part of it feels like exorcising a demon, or bleeding out poison. Part of me grieves for Warcraft, what it meant to me and what I thought it could have been. In Warframe though, I've found a place of comfort and compassion. In between all the space ninja nonsense and vast quantities of horrific violence the player commits, Warframe offers growth, and a way to let go of what hurts us.
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I'll take a moment and shout out an excellent video essay by Shaun on Youtube called Andrew Tate: How to be a Real Man. It's a great resource for a more general discussion of masculinity in the real world. The video is a criticism of Tate and his approach, why it appeals to some men, and further dissects what masculinity means, and what nontoxic masculinity means. (Is it an inbox full of pictures of Aragorn?) It's a good dissection of masculinity as a concept, and one I'd recommend if you're curious about the topic of toxic/nontoxic or negative/positive masculinity.
—
Yes not only do I have my paragraph long asides I've now also added footnotes. This isn't a peer reviewed journal, you're not my mom, I do what I want!
[1] One of Warframe’s major quests is also called “The War Within” which might be confusing to a reader who knows Warframe. Don’t worry about it, I’m talking exclusively about the upcoming Warcraft expansion here.
[2] For bonus points, if you haven't played Warframe, go to 20:55 on the demo video. You'll see a logo and release date for Whispers In The Walls, hear the live crowd cheer, and the creative director will start to speak... until she's interrupted by something in the game. What you see and hear next is almost exactly as it is in the final release, including the music, minus an extra line of exposition from Loid. This wasn't just a stunt for the convention. I fucking LOVE Warframe.
[3] To be honest this is part of a personal measurement I use to gauge how queer friendly a work is: if they have queer women do they also have queer men? A good example of why I use this is Mass Effect. That franchise always had queer women and an option for lesbian romance, but only in Mass Effect 3 did they add one (1) queer option for a masculine Shepherd. I am a (nonbinary) lesbian so on the one hand I don’t want to dismiss all queer women in media as “pandering” and queer men as “valid”. It’s more of a guideline to estimate how willing a piece of media/creator is to transgress heterosexual norms. Depicting men who love men is seen as more transgressive than two women in love by the gaming community at large. The reasons for this are complicated and they all suck.
[4] hey kiddo
[5] I wanted to avoid spoilers for other Warframe story quests, but The Sacrifice is, again, an interesting point of comparison for Anduin's story. The Sacrifice is, largely, about a character coming to terms with his grief over the death of his son. If you see the whole video I link there, you'll see the player presented with three options: Wrath (We use this memory. It fuels our wrath), Acceptance (We accept this memory and move beyond its reach), and Emptiness (We return this memory to the Void and find peace in our emptiness.) I just wish Anduin's grief over Varian was, at any point, treated with this level of nuance and care.
#kay writes things#warframe#warcraft#anduin wrynn#loid#i'm a little hesitant to tag this#since i could get some real negative attention based on what i've discussed#and the nastier parts of both fandoms#whatever i wrote thousands of words i'll share it#for me and my friends and i guess the rest of you can read it too
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alicent taught aemond the “you are the challenge” mindset but he uses it to justify atrocities like Sharp Point so aemond thinks she’ll understand - while alicent can’t understand how or why he’d stretch “our very lives are threatened” to anything goes to save them. alicent finishes her parenting arc by directly confronting how deeply she failed her sons and does something about it. aemond gets told this isn’t worth it by the person who he thought had taught him it was. if it’s the last time they’re on screen together I’ll be happy.
#aemond targaryen#alicent hightower#hotd spoilers#hotd#house of the dragon#do I like the ending for Alicent? No. Queen in chains era would be so much nastier and more emotional rhaenicent. Do I get what they did? Y#like I can not understate how hard homoerotic queen in chains rhaenicent would’ve fucked - figuratively and literally if they went there
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Roxas: Had the Halloween town kids throw bombs in his face for multiple missions in a row before finally breaking down and smacking them around a bit.
Ventus: The dwarves were rude and refused to talk to him, immediately resorted to chasing them down and whacking them.
Characterization I see frequently: Ah, yes, Roxas is the one always willing to throw hands and Ventus is a smol sunshine boy.
#kh#kingdom hearts#these are really silly examples but the point stands!#in fact I think it expands when you look at their full screen-time#I am once again begging people to watch a full let's play of Days#don't get me wrong Ventus IS brightness and sunshine#but he also has the energy of a chihuahua ready to fight the world and I will stand by that#where as Roxas will tend to just try to avoid it until he Very Much Can't#now I think Roxas does BITTERNESS better than Ventus or Sora#but bitterness is not temper#in fact bitterness is usually negative emotions left on the backburner until the resentment caves in on itself#I suppose this is up to interpretation but from my reading...#a lot of times Ventus seems to burn out his anger then let it go#whereas Roxas doesn't do anything with the emotions until he/the situation self-destructs catastrophically so it ends up being nastier#but on the day-to-day?#yeah no Ventus is going to be the one reacting first#you can also exchange Sora for Ventus for some of these arguments#though I think he lands somewhere between Ventus and Roxas for short-temperedness#all this is more complicated than this reductive commentary of course#you have to take in how and in what orders the characters were introduced and marketed#the difficulty of getting the handheld games historically and the biases that set in before they were easily accessed#not to mention stock archetypes for fandom joke set-ups that then perpetuate the characterization...#like there's a LOT to how this came to be#but it Gets To Me sometimes#yza talks about a thing
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idk why fang randomly decided to hunt down and shoot at a big bird but this implies he's like a poacher and i honestly love how that could add to sonic's whole environmental message
#big industrialist who pollutes the land for personal gain + animal who hunts other animals not as smart as them for fun sport and profit?#ofc he's more of a treasure hunter but like why did he do this he's never hunted animals before#i hope it gets expanded on its such an interesting angle#makes fang nastier than he already is and that motherfucker should be NASTY#trip deserved better#sonic superstars#sonic the hedgehog#fang the sniper#fang the hunter#nack the weasel
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Trick Weekes just completely fucking unable to not overshare about their own sexual kinks in their character writing. We get it, trick, you're a dom who likes public sex and threesomes and you get off on everybody knowing it, and their discomfort about it too.
for 19 fucking years. Literally only mordin isn't a horny sexually aggressive dommy boy/girl, and even he fucking makes people having sex his business and insinuates that your yeoman Chambers fucked a sci fi dog and is currently spreading STDs on board like it's all just good fun humour
not that trick weekes' special brand of misogyny online isn't also relatively well known, though some of the most heinous shit they've said has been scrubbed because the forums no longer exist.
#Yeaaah#I saw the taash/harding romance#Listen when your girlfriend keeps correcting you and using discreet verbiage#It's because they're UNCOMFORTABLE with you oversharing about the specifics of how you fuck in the earshot of other people#iron bull all over again#Coukdn't stfu about the specifics of his sex life with dorian while dorian tried to tell him to not do this please in front of others#And somehow it's actually supposed to be sexy and dorian and harding actually like it?#Swear weekes gets off on people's discomfort with their own sex life being seen or discussed in detail in front of others#and it's such a consistent throughline in their writing too#It's impossible to ignore#Miranda jack bull taash and myriad others but these ones are the worst offenders#And as mentioned mordin fucking spreading not just private medical dat#as gossip but actually uses said medical data to insinuate for fun gossip that your crewman fucked a dog and everything else under the sun#WHO DOES THAT#who even finds it funny#even back then when the internet was a much nastier and insensitive place#I found that bit of dialogue to be shocking and nasty
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Sometimes I think about how wild the workplace gossip at the ISB must be just, like, in general? Because sure, they’re ISB, but they’re human. You know they’re gossiping.
You know those immaculate white-gray halls have heard their fair share about who’s done what for whom to earn which promotion, and who’s having an affair, and who Partagaz’s favorites are even though they really don’t deserve it but I do and here’s why, and who goes out for drinks a little too frequently after work, and who has a stim pill problem. They’re being Imperial-uptight about it and everyone pretends it’s not happening because it’s not professional, but they are gossiping. You can’t sit around a table of people with whom you’re in direct, cutthroat competition every single day, suspicion boiling in every cold gaze, and not.
#syril x dedra#andor#syril karn#dedra meero#star wars#(I’m tagging this weird because I’m trying to get to the people who think about this as much as I do lmao)#but like#I imagine the attendants bear the brunt of this#you know Blevin got back from that meeting with Dedra and Partagaz and just *seethed*#and then the attendants gossip about their supervisors too#the worse they treat them the nastier the rumors are#I imagine Heert doesn’t partake in this initially#but I also imagine he won’t be overly thrilled by Dedra’s closeness with Syril because it threatens him#I just#the ISB fascinates me#the Empire does so much to strip humanity from the people it employs but it can be so sincerely human#like Dedra’s expression when she ‘fails’#or Blevin’s obvious anger when he loses the Morlana sector#for all the ‘we are cogs in a machine’ they do still show signs of inner life and humanity
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FIRST DRAFT DEFEATED!!! its 54k words currently
#personal#canary continuity#i still need to lengthen/change some scenes#theres some long exposition in some scenes that should probably just be cut for like. the events#leading up to the important moment.#although i enjoy representing the overthinking/anxiety so i'll try to find a way to keep most of it#and a currently really important foreshadowing/thematic scene i want to make more subtle#originally there was going to be more than what i ended up with but most of the time when i complain about pacing its LITERALLY just me#also i need to cut some repetition that isnt intentional for the sake of showing the kind of. circular self-blame going on in d's head#because especially in the face of a psychotic break its intentional. but in some places i need to make things more abstract i feel#im kinda happy with most of the early scenes though. favorite to write was mikey... whats going on in your head little guy#i love the little unnerving ways it shows they are still actually CONSCIOUS beneath whats going on. like enough to resist it sometimes#itll get explained more deeply in the aftermath oneshot but thats why the change was slow and subtle#it was more an alteration of their thought processes/intrusive thoughts that slowly ate them alive#the progression felt normal for them#but notably raph actually is holding back the whole time and i think thats pretty interesting#and actually kind of horrifying LOL he couldve been so much nastier#anyways ill stop yapping now. youll see what i mean when im done#its a really powerful curse. i actually have a lot of ideas for the character responsible that explains why#and i even know the motive behind it. im still a little iffy about including her or making her a continuous threat but i Miiiight
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one more week of now david tennant-hating tories. there is literally no group they don't hate at this stage. taking their election losing to new levels by fighting one-sided with the most beloved national treasure. joke's on them because he hated them first. one more week of these hateful clowns. just one more.
#hope kemi badenoch screamed when she saw his pretty pink nails and heard him saying he thinks he's fetch <3#honestly don't know what to do with myself that the end of this 14 year long nightmare is almost over#like ofc they're getting nastier and more personal they're all about to be unemployed#cannot waaaaait#uk politics#.txt
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Is there a Sabezra discord server already? If not, would anyone want to start one?
When Ahsoka airs and we finally start to find out how their relationship is (or isn’t) going to be defined, I wouldn’t mind having a sanctuary from the antis, regardless of what happens. 😅
#sabezra#I have discord open right now actually with “create server” up 😆#it can be a temporary deal in case things get bad on tumblr#because if somehow romantic Sabezra is explicitly crushed (😖) you know the antis are gonna be celebrating in full force#and probably in particularly belligerent fashion#if things go the other way or are left ambiguous then they’ll probably feel threatened and be even nastier#so having a sanctuary would be nice
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I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH FROM THAT SNEAK PEEK!!!!
#anon#mbfw#it gets pretty dirty after that 😏#but again it is PURELY FOR LITERARY REASONS#like they truly are sweet and soft gays who just are cheesy and gross#and then also fuck so nasty#duality#the angy makeup sex is still nastier and gayer tho 🫡#a whole fic and there's only 2 smut scenes#well.... sort of...#2 ½ well call it
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Thinking about Drift and Ratchet swapping pregnancy duties and it's Drift's turn to get knocked up. Ratchet puts that good, stout medic build to good use and just pistons his spike in and out of Drift like a fuck machine. Holding on and fucking him through overload after overload until he's got the start of a little belly just from the sheer amount of transfluid in his tank.
And then when it takes, he ends up even more gravid than Ratchet was with a few more babies than him. A whole damn litter to round out his middle and match with his thick thighs.
its actually a headcanon of mine, probably not very controversial, but... i think medics are great for breeding... they're sturdy, strong, lasting. ratchet starts pumping drift full of transfluid and he just doesnt stop for hours.... he gives drift fuel when he needs it, rocks into him gently when he sleeps, but he does not stop, not even when drift's crying with overstimulation, not until drift's tank is so full it's denting outwards. drift expands so fast, it's their biggest litter yet, soon enough he's got a big fat belly on top of his big fat thighs, always horny and completely depending on ratchet's thick spike spreading his aching valve... and when he's eventually put on bed rest, too big to really move beyond most basic motions, ratchet takes good care of him.
i also like to think that when it's time, they induce birth with sex- ratchet fucks drift open until his water breaks, drift moans as ratchet stretches him with his hand, holding his valve open for the little ones to come out, babies crowning right into his waiting hand...
#dude i got so into this my coffee went cold...#i can get nastier tonight. there is nothing else i have to do other than get nastier (<- does indeed need to study)#valveplug#pregnancy mention#birth mention#dratchet#dratchrod mechpreg saga
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