#and it gets me reflective abt life as a whole and how i say i love you freely bc people do leave or you lose touch

[bawnjourno]

me deciding to finish my cheers rewatch at 1am last night and then sob for 20 minutes straight bc this goofy sitcom has anchored me and brightened my life for the past year and now it’s over for real for me

[exopelagic]

okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey guysss! A lot of people have been asking for me to make a challenge for a while now. I honestly didn’t want to, not because I’m against them or anything but because the law will be different for everyone. Sometimes, it feels like tumblr needs a reminder - you are the only person who knows what you need to do to succeed. I wish I could imprint this realization on everyone's minds. I’ve also gotten so manyyyy asks about things that genuinely just feel like your doubts repeating in your mind constantly so I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs bc y’all are spiraling really hard. I get it you want your desires for Christmas and new years. It’s okay take a breath, you're alive and will be okay.

Firstly: at the beginning I used to spend countless time spiraling into depression, constantly changing my methods every time I saw a new success story, and every time I found a new foolproof' tumblr method. Methods that were supposed to guarantee results in a day so when they didn’t I felt rlly useless. It was annoying, to say the least, and I don’t want to help others do the same thing, but really all I can do is reiterate what I always say and hope you apply it to everything!!

A lot of you guys wanted something that didn’t involve the void state, so that’s what this will revolve around! But feel free to make this void orientated if you desire, and I’ll also add a void section so all my babies can eat!

Ok so you’ve over consumed, you have dropped the void, and now have switched to just assuming and knowing that you would wake up with your dream life - embracing states. Great! At first, it will seem like you're doing nothing but you aren’t! For example, I knew I was dwelling in the state of wish fulfilled when I went to work without shedding tears, when I looked in the mirror and didn't think I was ugly because, well, I'm beautiful! I didn't care abt not performing well on a test because I could revise my past etc. this isn’t to say ignore the 3D: don’t do that, please try and make sure you’re safe and okay. But know life is malleable. Slowly, things that used to bother me—my parents, grades, anxiety, self-deprivation—started to fade away. Even though my dream life hadn't reflected in my 3D yet, I felt the switch. That's when I decided, I know what to do.

I also remember finding this cute website a long time ago that I want to share that summarizes it in such a great and simple way.

So Before I knew or understood what LOA was, I found this gem of an article on I am Love'- "How To Shift Into A State & Stay There". I think I have a post abt it somewhere on my blog but I’m too lazy to find it so here it is again.

Basically it explains that the essence of shifting into a desired state and staying there. What resonated with me was her choice to dwell in the state of knowing that her desires are hers, no matter what.

The way she used colloquial language made the content relatable and easy to understand. It's like having a conversation with a friend who's guiding you through hard concepts with “dumbed down” language because at the beginning states made 0 sense to me.

Posts like this really helped me particularly because when I discovered Neville, it required three attempts on my part to not only intellectually grasp his teachings, but also to truly comprehend him as a whole, given his non-contemporary speaking tbh.

I recommend it if you find yourself stuck or not really grasping the law yet (which is more than okay) but, if you're looking to understand the loa better or just learn more give this article a read.

There’s also a particular quote from Neville that really got me to dive into his work after finding this article and it was- “The being that you really are, descended to the weakness of the flesh, causing you to experience the state you are now in. Contemplate another state, and the same being who brought your present form into being will restore and make alive the other state, the state desired. This he will continue to do until his purpose is fulfilled. That purpose is to follow a certain pattern back into the unity of being. You see, in the beginning we were drafted. We did not volunteer to fall into these states. We were made subject into futility, not willingly but by the will of him who sent us. But when we return we will discover that we are the very being who subjected us. We are now the sons, destined to return as God the Father!”

Now that you understand and are ready to apply state, Here’s a routine I’ve created to hopefully help you guys! It is very simple and not time consuming at all.

Scripting and writing: I love writing and feeling like the author of my own story, literally bringing my creation to life. I would write when I felt like it. Whenever I wanted to dwell in my state, I would simply write, "I have my dream life." It's so simple, yet it embodies everything I need. If you’re more of a picture girl, use Pinterest instead. Or both if you prefer it doesn’t matter.

Edward arts' "I am creator meditation": Again, do this whenever you like it. It's one of the few meditations that didn't bore me to death and seemed to work with my ADHD. I also love reading, so I would read his pdf whenever I felt like it and take mental notes. Reading his work was a reminder I was doing everything right, it resonated with me very well.

During doubt and overstimulation: When things get overwhelming, close your eyes and let the emotions pass. They’re just thoughts! repeat the words "I am" until your heart returns to its normal rhythm. It's a simple yet powerful way to ground yourself amidst the whirlwind of emotions. And guess what? You can use this technique for doubt too! So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, remember the power of "I am". It's a gentle reminder of your existence, your resilience, and your capability to be whatever you want despairs any emotional turmoil.

Thank god: (yourself!!) When reminded of your desires. Thank you god. When you see your desires, (eg:Pinterest, online or you’re just reminded) thank you god! When you see an image of your desires, thank you god! When you dream or think about your desires. Thank god! Always thank the person fulfilling it aka you ;)! If you’re religious just thank the god you actually follow.

Nightly reflections: At night, ask yourself , "What would I do if I woke up in my dream life right now?" repeat this question throughout the night. Then, imagine whatever scene you want. What would you do if you could not fail? What would you do if you had all the money in the world right now. What if you looked in the mirror and saw the most ethereal being and it’s just you? What about if you woke up in your dream house with your dream family and pets? This is inspired by one of the first shifting methods I created that helped me fulfill my imagination before I knew what that meant. When you’re ready to sleep just remind yourself it is done, and drift off into your desires.

As I've always said, I've been a great daydreamer. I knew exactly what I wanted my life to look and feel like. I envisioned my walk-in closet filled with luxurious outfits, waking up in my dream room on a soft mattress with my pets purring nearby. I saw the decor reflecting my personality in every corner of my large, and pretty room. I imagined walking into my bathroom, seeing all my cool Sephora products lined up for my skincare and shower routine. I love taking care of myself because I know I deserve it. I saw myself looking in the mirror, knowing I'm "that girl" who turns heads wherever she goes.I visualized going downstairs in my boujee dream house,and seeing my family stress-free, smiling, and eating well. I saw plans being made on my phone, my friends were excited to see and talk to me. I went to my kitchen, filled with expensive ingredients ready for me to cook meals for my loved ones - because I love cooking. I saw myself checking my bank account and seeing multiple seven figures in my savings, checking, and investment accounts and opportunities easily presenting myself to make more if I wanted. I saw myself running errands in my car, shopping, getting Starbucks, having expensive lunch with friends, and making a trip to Target. Despite the simplicity of the day, I would come home and be like, "Ugh, what a long day!"like that one khloe kardashian meme. What if all this happened today? Visualize and feel the scenes so clearly that it felt like it's already happening.. not just in your imagination.

Most importantly: Define the law for you! Stop parroting bloggers and intertwine your own beliefs with the law. The only principle of the law is that through persistence assumption will harden into a fact. Other than that anything goes except for facts that are wrong.

Here’s old notes I found in my phone lol just so you know what I mean by define the law for you: ignore the writing I was kinda dumb and new to the law 😭😭

Now this is for my void babies if you made it this far.

Read this post.

This is it copied bc the links are wonky sometimes

“My previous method is based on the persistent assumption, which a lot of people don’t know how to do right and it might take some time even for those who have the right self-concept and the mindset, so today I was in the process of manifesting this method.

And I was successful!

This method is for everyone. It’s the easiest Void method.

Do you know that you get into the Void state at night automatically? At that time the whole perceived world disappears for you. Every single perception and assumption you have disappears while your consciousness in the calm and natural Void state.

Use it to your advantage. Now that you know about the Void that you enter when you sleep, the perfect state to manifest anything that you wish to perceive, with no “resistance”, no illusions of annoying solid things around, you only need to remember your scripted starting point in your DR and practice watching it all coming out of the Void.

Practice that scene with your eyes closed, say to yourself:”That is what I perceive. Next time I’m in the Void, I’ll experience this”. You won’t even need to be fully aware of yourself that way when you get into the Void while you are asleep. Your subconscious would do all the work as it now would have the instruction and a clear image of you expecting it.

Personal experience: as I was receiving information on this method, I almost stepped into my DR! I wasn’t even in the absolute void state, I was only creating the scene for this method and I felt it materialise with my senses!

I have great feeling that it’s going to give fast results for others! Try it, teach your subconscious what it needs to bring forth while in the Void, let it do your work for you!”

Lastly, I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs real quick bc the fear of shifting vs manifesting makes me sad for y’all. I understand you don’t wanna leave behind the people you love and that’s not fear to feel ashamed of having! I personally hate the npc mindset a lot of have people have adopted. The only thing we know for sure is that assumptions create realities, and consciousness is the real reality. Everything else boils down to assumptions, except for principles. For example, shifting is not lucid dreaming, even if you assume it to be. That is the principle. I’m just going to copy what I told my mutal bc I’m lazy and need to finish Christmas stuff 😭😭 but Our imagination and the 4D realm are products of our consciousness, which is indeed real. Our view of reality is shaped by our consciousness, since we can't experience everything all at once.

Unless, of course, you shift into a super omnipotent god. Even then, you’d probably still struggle with the concept of infinity because, well, infinity is infinite. And it’s constantly a never exnding expansion. As humans, we're finite beings, and our understanding of the infinite is naturally limited. Because you can’t and won’t ever experience everything at once, infinity is always expanding. Our awareness can be thought of as fragments of consciousness; it's like being a drop of water in a massive ocean. Even though our perception is limited, the infinite is always there, always existing. We simply adjust our awareness to perceive this infinite reality.

And through our consciousness, we are able to tap into other realities or 'multiverses', which give us a broader understanding of existence. This exploration of consciousness and the multiverse is a significant part of my journey into the world of manifestation.

The law of consciousness explains why, when you "shift" or change your perspective, you don't physically move. It's all about altering your state of awareness. This is also why time doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You can become aware of any time or day you want, as long as you choose to be aware of it. It's like having a mental time machine. This law is why infinite universes exist. As long as you can be aware of it, you can assume and embody the state of that person. Whether that's someone with a billion dollars on Earth, or a person who lives in the Attack on Titan world, it's all about your awareness.Our awareness is just a fragment of the larger consciousness – hence the idea of the multiverse. Each universe is a different fragment, a different state of awareness. And we have the power to “shift” into any of these states, therefore shifting into any of these universes.

I’m telling you this bc there’s no need to be afraid of manifesting or being in a reality with robotic versions of the people you love. Ariana grande and Marilyn Monroe for example talk about loa without acknowledging it and we see their success. Neville Goddard and his followers saw each other’s manifestions and I manifest for my friends and they mnaifest for me.

Take a deep breath and let go of the tik tok clone mindsets y’all have they don’t exist. You can manifest and assume anything you want in your imagination. Y’all literally want to manifest things like millions of dollars, revising deaths, living in new countries, having immorality in your waiting rooms, and never aging which is all possible of course. So be for real, why assume and know that you can achieve all that, but it won't manifest exactly how you want? I've also wondered about what happens to the "old version" of people when they manifest their dream life. As far as I'm concerned, they dont exist because you choose not to be aware of them.

I really want to talk about this too, as I've received similar questions and, oh my god, I thought I was alone. I've always been a bit delusional and lived in my head, but when I became conscious of the law, did anyone else feel a sense of self-embarrassment? I don't know what that was, but I'd genuinely feel my soul wanting to throw up envisioning my desires that aren't mine, even though I've always been a daydreamer. It's kind of like when you feel you can't have them or it's strange to envision yourself with something you can't have, so you just purge yourself. 😭

I was thinking back to why that happened and laughing at myself because we need to be serious right now. Why are you getting sick by your own mind? Imagine if Van Gogh, anytime he pulled out a canvas and held a brush, was jump-scared by the brush. Picture him holding out the brush and just staring at the canvas crying because "well, the painting is going to suck 😐," "I don't know what to paint☹️☹️," "I already know it won't be like what I envision in my head 😡😡." Like, bro, the canvas is blank, just fucking paint. That’s why I really like his quote that's like...

“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” So If you’re scared of failing, if you’re scared of your desires, or scared of how it will come to fruition, for that reason alone is more so to and manifest it anyways.

But happy holidays guys! make some tea, scroll through Pinterest, read a good book and watch some Christmas films and remember if you can imagine/think your desires you can embody them bc where are you getting it from??

Here are some helpful documents I have read plus a cute vid I saw on insta reels : (let me know if the links are being weird)

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A post shared by @inspirelightwork

[lotusmi]

The faith challenge <3

This is a small manifesting/void challenge I made for myself that helped me to manifest my dream life.

Aimed for people that overconsume or overcomplicate getting their desires.

Note: you know enough! you have overconsumed enough information. stop now, its time to finally get what you want!

If you overcomplicate things, you probably listen to subs for hours, affirm 10,000x every hour, etc. You view them as things you must do to get your desires. But remember, you are not doing this to get results in 3d, you are doing this to fulfil yourself inwardly. Its like you have your hair down and your looking in the mirror. You cannot change the hairstyle in the mirror, right? leave the mirror and change your hairstyle. (fulfill your desire inwards), and the mirror(3d) must reflect that.

The actual challenge:

Read/listen to edward art's though false lecture. ONCE. ONLY. ONCE!! aim to truly understand what he is saying. this lecture is all you need. After that, delete your tumblr. unsubscribe to manifestation ppl on youtube. no more information for u.

No affirmations, no subliminals, no scripting, no visualizing. (unless you're doing it just because it helps make you feel fulfilled. you dont have to do them!!! preferably stop all methods.)

you will write your own rules on a slip of paper. ex. 'my manifestions must come within 3 days because i said so and i make the rules', 'everything must always work in my favour'. keep it simple. it doesn't matter what anyone else said, make the rules however u want!

you will stick to those rules. you will just know that everything in your reality has to abide by your rules. do nothing else.

Wavering is fine. if you waver, no jumping back to tumblr to overconsume information. simply ask your inner self for confirmation. your inner self will always say 'yes u have ur desires!'

idc about your 3d. you are under no obligation to accept those circumstances as true, your imagination is the only true reality anyway. don't complain abt how bad ur circumstances are, because one well known blogger here grew up in in extremely abusive situation, was tossed from foster care to foster care, was searching for shelter at night because the abuse was too much. she wavered just like u. And yet, she did it! she changed her entire life. drastically. and you can too.

TLDR:

listen to edward art's though false lecture ONCE.

delete tumblr and all manifestation related stuff. do not do methods.

write your own rules

stick to them

fulfill urself inwardly only.

!!!success story + amazing challenge! oh, anon! You are amazing! 💐💌🌷

This ask is beautiful, this is so well done and the whole post is so well written, organized, and helpful! Omg, you are a real angel! I am so happy that you did it, and even more happy to receive an ask from someone kind like you, I appreciate you so much, I know this will help a lot of people. Congrats for your own journey and success! Please know that you are an amazing soul, and I wish you all the best and so much love, you deserve to live all the happiness! ...🌷💗

The Faith Challenge! <3

꒱This challenge is perfect for you that are overconsuming or overcomplicating the law and want to leave this cycle, manifesting your dream life! Everyone, let's appreciate this anon work! 𓆩♡𓆪

💐💐 those flowers are for you, my dear Faith anon!

[himejoshiangels]

batgirl 2000 reread bcs I'm crazyy...IM NUTS!!!

her and that damned rose..what does it all MEAN!!! it makes a reappearance l8r...also I missed this dynamic so so bad. me when I'm in a seeing my kids as an extension of myself competition and my opponent is Bruce Wayne

I always forget how fucking potent and tension filled the first arc of this comic is man. it's like, bcs cass can't speak or even have thought bubbles everything's communicated via her actions or the words of the ppl around her. every panel she's in has to be chock-full of emotion and every time she interacted with someone the implications and the ffUCKKKKK‼️

the atmosphere in this damn comic man

I dunno man not to "back in my day!" when it wasn't even my day. but comics these days don't trust the audience even a little. there's always gotta be paragraphs of text having a character explicitly state every detail of their motivation and like not that old comics didn't also do that but at least the words they wrote were pretty like fuck man who are they hiring to write this shit anymorw

this transition is straight out of a movie. I know we say this with literally everything but if ANY comic in the world should get an animated show it has to be this one. top contender. it's formulated like one already, it's episodic w perfect overall themes and bigger plots. even the vibe is perfect, the grainy mtv cartoon thing it has going. every day I pray for a batgirl 2000 cartoon it'd go so crazy jsut adapt the shit straight

batgirl 2000 just keeps hitting you and doesn't let up bcs in the same episode SORRY issue..where cass meets lady Shiva for the first time is also the same issue where babs first begins to address her as Cassandra

^^WHICH IS CRAZY bcs we have to keep in mind that up to this point cass is nameless, she's only been referred to as batgirl. this is one of the first times she goes out as not batgirl too tho, bcs Bruce benched her. it's GAHHHHH that whole thing where vigilantes angst and drama abt titles and legacies and their individual identities is exacerbated so so bad for cass bcs batgirl is the first name she's ever given. like it's all she ever knew and ever was. Cassandra came after and THIS

THIS PANEL RUGHT HERE ohhh my god it makes me crazy. she's only batgirl. she doesn't even have the words to explain it yet. she's only a reflection of the city she's sworn to protect its all she is and at first its lowkey all Bruce let's her be. not to mention. her relationship w babs, I'll speak on them l8r can't do it now I'll explode

a 1:1 animated series man. it's all I can think about so so many iconic moments. I don't kill but I don't lose either is already as cold as cold gets. the way the comic is formatted already fully visualizes as animated in my brain and it's so so fun to watch

LIKE LOOK AT THIS!! cinematic as he'll and it's not even moving..

both cass and Bruce hit the bullseye like....

Cass's perfectionism is such an underrated character trait of hers (in like the greater batfam fandom and more modern comics not here, never here) bcs she literally sacrifices her life about it. she's so self detrimental about how not perfect she is anymore and Bruce's nonsense doesn't help either. man sees himself reflected in a teenage girl once and looses all his damn sense. I'm just, yea we know "mediocre for a life time or perfect for a year" < god that goes hard, but the true tragedy that is cass's inability to see how unnatural and upsetting it is that her mind works the way it does at all, that she can run into bullets head on but complains that she could do it with more skill when she was 6 or whatever like girl...never evr letting myself become desensitized to her trauma, David cain when I get you...

AND ANOTHER THING AND ANOTHER THING!!! KKKKKKKKK!! the sideplots and b plots and background characters in this comic..each of them are offered so much empathy by the narrative and are written purposefully to reflect or foil whatever cass's current conflic is all while feeling like fully fleshed characters even if they only appear for one issue

^^ I have feeling abt these panels but my lawyers are advising me not to speak atvthis ttime

THFUCKINH THE ROSE!!AGAIN!!! so sure this is old news but my running theory is that it definitely ties into cass's sense of self and identity outside of her living weapon status. this whole issue is prime babs v. bruce custody battle material bcs babs wants cass to be able to have a normal life, to be someone outside of batgirl bcs where she is now isn't healthy even a little bit but bruce argues that cass doesn’t need that, all she needs is her devotion to the mission < now we don't have time to unpack all that but in this moment we see her make the choice, dropping the rose. in the very first panel of the whole comic cass does the very same thing, she drops the puzzle (representing her childhood) in favor of violence bcs at the time its all she knows THE PARALLELS HELP HELP MEEE

AND AND THIS NEXT WHOLE PANEL is so evocative of the first few issues where cass couldnt yet put her emotions into words. just atmosphere and silence. BECAUSE she's confused!!! bruce says justice is what she needs that it will make her feel better, feel normal but it doesn't!! she looks over the city and still feels..feeling!!!! she picks the rose back up and extends a hand out to barbara bcs she was right, she not Bruce, she can't sit in a cave all alone all day and feel better (<which arguably doesn't even work for him either)

in the next few issues she meets steph and tim which is soo fun bcs letting cass have friends her age opens up so much for potential dynamics. especially her relationship w steph, not just in a stephcass way but in a narrative foil way, to me at least

next post I'll probably talk abt cass's guilt, self hatred, and need for atonement but we move‼️

[tmwcs]

to continue with that other anon, what if y/n actually sent her nudes to one of Heethans friends by accident??

and tried to rile him up more abt it by saying “it’s not THAT big of a deal”……

“No Big Deal.”

SMUT MDNI 18+

Theres mentioning of smut, slight description of smut/smut things, and mentions of photos being sent to others, overstimulation....umm....Heethan is kind of a brute.....but ofc.....he's not sorry. #sorrybutnotsorry.

".....no....oooohnononononooooo....what have i done?"

Your hand shook vigorously as you held your phone and observed the name and number of the recipient who you mistakenly sent a wide variety of photos to.....nude photos.

You could have sworn you typed in the first three letters of Heeseung's name, which would have autofilled to his contact name "Heethan" which you had saved to reflect the two loves of your life. Yet somehow, you must have fat fingered punched a different letter as the photos were all sent to someone else....someone who shared the same class as Heeseung. 'Hewitt'.

Quickly, you reacted by sending a message to Hewitt, explaining the situation.

"Hi, so sorry. this is a mistake, i meant to send those to Heeseung, I have no idea why it was sent to you, please erase those and do not open them."

Biting the tip of your thumb, you anxiously await for a response back.....but not one single message was returned.

"Shit....."

You waited in the room patiently. Since Heeseung went to the store, he ensured that his housemates were all home and residing downstairs so that you were safe and not alone inside the house.

...................

"I'll be back in fifteen minutes. Just stay here and if anything happense, my house brothers and their girlfriends are all downstairs. Just call me."

....................

He had been gone for ten minutes already, and Heeseung was always very prompt when it concerned matters of leaving you alone. Whenever you were in class or left in his room, he never played around with timing. Preferably, he always wanted you with him, yet this time around, with the intentions of surprising him with some sexy photos, you feigned a headache and opted to stay behind.

....................

"I'll get you some medicine while I'm at the store. Did you want anything else, pretty baby?"

....................

The image of his concerned look as he leaned down and kissed your forehead made this whole ordeal excruciating as you reflected on your careless mistake.

"Maybe...if i just....don't act like it's a big deal........maybe he'll reflect that it isnt....based off the vibe....because if I'm freaking out it only enhances the negatives.....but if i'm calm, maybe he'll feed off of that energy."

......................................

Exactly at the fifteen minute mark, you hear his car pull up. You peeked through the blinds, ensuring that the lights in the room was shut off, careful to make sure that your silhouette couldn't be made out as you knelt down on the bed and peered through the window.

Watching him, he had a plastic bag in hand with the contents from the store. He looked calm, or at least it was all you could make out as he wore his hat in the traditional manner of covering his eyes. His casual attire along with the exposure of his strong arms made him look irresistible, no girl could ever blame you for wanting to send him nudes......you kicked yourself for feeling so stupid and careless....how could you have done sent it to someone else?

Your eyes trailed after him as he walked towards the front door. You quickly laid down on the bed, checking your phone once more to see if Hewitt had responded.....to your despair, he did not.

"Dammit....."

You should have erased his number long ago. Reflecting the moment when you had gained Hewitts number, it was back when Heeseung was assisting one of his teachers, so he had you coordinate with Hewitt to pick up the materials for one of his classes as h/n used Jake's car and drove you, since the latter was with Heeseung, also assisting the teacher.

That was the only time you and h/n ever interacted with Hewitt, a calm and quiet individual who seemed like a decent young man. Hopefully he honored your request and erased those photos.

Yet the lack of response from his side furthered your anxiety and made you even more worrisome.

Suddenly the door opens, you remained lying still on the bed, and to your surprise, he didn't immediately turn on the lights. Leaving the room in darkness, you wondered if he genuinely thought you were sleeping from the 'headache' you were experiencing, possibly not wanting to wake or disturb you.

He was always that way, so considerate whenever you were in pain or if something had been on your mind, Heeseung was always your biggest supporter. Obviously, he was always going to be as such, the man was insanely obsessed with you...infatuated.....totally in love with you to the point that, while you haven't seen it yet, you wouldn't put it past the man to resort in developing a 'killer instinct' in order to have you all himself or to 'protect' you. It was the look in his eye that he would get sometimes that made you wonder....

The footsteps breaching in your direction snaps you out of your zoned state of mind. You tried to maintain a relaxed and steady breathing pattern, which had escalated once you felt him sit on the edge of the bed next to your body. Hearing the plastic bag being set down on the floor, you felt the movement of his body as he leans in, and gently caresses your face.

"You awake, pretty baby?" he spoke so calmly.

"Mmm....mmhmm...." you managed to mumble out.

"How are you feeling?"

".....Fine....."

His face closes in and you felt his lips meeting with yours. Gently kissing you, he embraces you with his arms and shifts his position to lay on top of you.

It was...interesting.....only due to the mere fact that he didn't seem to know, but also....normally, whenever you had complained about not feeling well, he usually opted to let you rest. Perhaps when you answered 'fine' he took that in a literal sense and decided to not hold back any longer. The man did have such a high sexual drive when it came to you, according to Jake, who confirmed that while Heeseung always did have a potent libido, since meeting you, it had been stronger than ever.

"You need any medicine for your headache? I got you a few." he calmly speaks against your lips.

"...N-no....it's fine...i'm fine...thank you." reaching your arms around his neck, you pulled him in for a tight embrace, slightly shaking from the fear of whenever he was bound to find out what you had done.

"You're shaking. You cold?"

"mmmm.....no....."

"mmm........good."

Getting up, he walks over to the light switch and flips them on. Turning back around to face you, you saw that horrendously frightening grin of his Ethan side.

"Baaaaaaaaaaaabyyyyyyyyyyyyy......"

"...Y-yes..?"

Walking over to you, he takes out his phone from his pocket, all the while making direct eye contact with you.....those eyes....they were wide with a taunting smirk to accompany that sadistic and malevolent look in his expression.

Kneeling down before you as you positioned yourself to sit on the edge of the bed, legs dangling and your feet delicately resting on the ground, he crouches down with his hand gently placed on your thigh.

Without saying anything, he shows you the contents of his screen......a message from Hewitt.........

..................................

"Kind of careless.....aren't we?" his voice was low. You felt his fingers slightly digging into the skin of your thigh as he spoke.

"uh.....yeah...it was....a mistake.....it was supposed to be a surprise for you...but......i guess if you look at it...it's not....really a big deal..."

"NOT........A ......BIG DEAL?......." his eyes widened as his smirk transitioned to one that reflected irritation and amusement.

"Well...yeah....i mean...if you think about it....he didn't look at them....he sent to them to you....and he's not sharing them with anyone.....so.....its......its all good....." you mumbled out in a soft....a very quiet tone.

"Hmmm......that right?......"

"......y-yes...."

He gets up and tosses his phone on the desk.....the loud clank of the device landing on the surface was hard, you'd be surprised if the screen made it out without any cracks. By the way he threw it and scoffed out an irritating sigh as you watched his backside walking towards his computer, you could tell.....he was mad.

By the direction he was walking in, you figured he was going to sit down and perhaps play some of his video games to take the edge off.....instead, he walked over to the dresser, grabbing on to the hem of his shirt and lifting it off and over his head, removing it. The flex of his back muscles as he took off his shirt nearly caused your mouth to gasp open as you saw the definition of each muscle, lined perfectly and lean.

Tossing the shirt off to the side, he remains standing with his back facing you, digging something out of the top dresser. Turning back around, he maintained a malicious grin as he bites down on his lower lip and as usual, draws blood from his bite.

Walking over to you, he fully extends and displays the satin sash he had in his hand, it was an eye mask, but from where?

"Wh-where did you get that?"

"Mmm......a friend.....who likes to play with toys....."

"A friend?.....Is it....."

"Shhhh.......come here....lets have some fun....."

................................................................

You're not sure how long it had been since he placed the eyewear over your lids and started to 'punish' you with his ravaging performance, yet you didn't care as long as he was finally done. The overstimulation of his dick thrusting into you at such vibrant speed, all the while he flexed and twitched inside of you as he burrowed deep into your tissue muscles, it all caused you to grow weak and sore just within minutes....let alone the hours that passed by.

Breathing deeply, trying to regain your oxygen intake, you lay still with the mask still covering your eyes. He wouldn't let you take it off during the entire session.

"Ready for some more?"

"N..no....no more....please....."

You felt his eyes shift down onto your cavity as he held your legs spread wide open, the shifting sound of his head tilting is what gave it away. Reaching down, you felt his finger probing at your womanhood, scooping up the thick and creamy substance that was caused by the constant throbbing friction of his thrust, his skin, and his muscle merging into your opening as he practically 'melted' into you.

"Lets see if we can go deeper."

"Ethan no! T-too deep! You're too deep! T-take it out! Pleaase!"

"Fuck keep talking like that and I'm going to explode."

"Ethan no more!"

"I love seeing how it looks when I do it to you.....it looks like i'm melting into you, you know that?"

"Uuuugh!"

"Yeah? You fucking like that dont you? hmm? DONT YOU?"

"N-no.....UGH!!"

"Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaah you dooooooo......come here baby, come here......i'll go harder, just for you."

"N-no! Ethan!"

"Yeah...I'll go deeper...just for you."

"Ugh!"

"I'll go faster....I'll fucking cum.....really deep inside...just for you baby."

"Ethan!!!"

The overstimulation you suffered from was immense. He must have released at last eight or nine times, though you wouldn't be surprised if it was more....considering you lost count after the sixth round.

Between tapping into Heeseung and switching back to Ethan, it felt as if each time they swapped personas, the face you were at mercy from came back fully energized and renewed.

Feeling him re-inserting, he slides right in at ease. What with the amount of moisture from your body's natural lubricant, the white discharge from all the thrusting, plus with your opening a bit loose from his constant flexing and entry, you were rendered helpless as he found himself 'home' immediately.

"Ah.....my girl is a little more open now that I broke you, huh?"

"S-stop......Heeseung....please...I-I'm.....so tired....and sore."

"Shhhhh....its okay now.....I'm here to take your mind off that."

Thrusting at a high momentum, with a ferocious vigor, your vision remained enveloped in a shroud of darkness from the satin mask as you hear Heeseung groan against your ear.

"Fuck......you like listening to what I do to you?"

After suffering for the final time, he cums once more and you remained nearly breathless, drenched in sweat and covered by the colors of his 'love'.

You hear his hand extend past and past your head, it sounded as if he reached for something, though you were too exhausted from wondering what it was. Another toy? God.....you hope not. Fearful of what he had planned next, you let yourself go and black out from the effects of tiredness and the euphoric overstimulation........

................................................

The next day.......

Waking up, your eyes opened to the naturally lit room as the morning sun was just nicely rising. Heeseung's arm caresses your waist as you lay against his chest, your backside spooned by his broad frame, as he remained deep asleep.

"Thank God...."

He too must have succumbed to the effects of exhaustion considering the number of times he ravished you. Although the effects always hit him differently than it did with you. For him, there was less pain and agony, it was just pure pleasure, unlike for you, where you got the bitter end of the stick by receiving a mixture of pain and euphoria, something that Heeseung and Ethan took great delight in giving you whenever you had broken the rules or 'misbehaved.'

Reaching up for your phone, you were shocked to see over 23 messages that came in.

"Oh no....did Hewitt...?"

Fearing the worst, you opened up the messages.....if what you had suspected was true......you had a feeling that Heeseung.....and Ethan were going to repeat their performance from last night....meaning you would get no rest....and will be sore for alot longer than just today.

The most recent message was from H/n.... the first bit of her message confirmed your worst fear....

"Oh my God.....he did.....Hewitt did share them....what am I going to do? Is Heeseung going to kill him? What is he going to do with me? What is he going to do?"

Reading on, you continued to examine the messages from H/N....it only brought you emotionally lower.

"Oh my God......why Hewitt...why?"

Unable to read on, you dropped our phone and buried your face into your hands. You felt like crying.

"How could Hewitt do this?.....How am I going to calm Heeseung down now?"

A ding comes in, signifying another message, although this time, it wasn't coming in through your phone. Heeseung's phone was resting on the nightstand beside the bed, which was odd considering the last time you remember seeing it was when he tossed it on the desk.

Picking it up, you took advantage of his sleeping status and decided to see the message that came in. His forearm still wrapped around your nude body as you leaned slightly away to grab onto the device and open it; once you had entered the passcode, your face reflected the most horrific shock as you unveil the contents of a certain message from Jake....

....................

Trembling, you read on to find the photos that H/N and Jake were referring to........were not the photos that you mistakenly sent to Hewitt.......

Suddenly, you felt Heeseung's arm that laid around your waist tighten and tug you closer to his body. You turned around slightly to find that his eyes were already open, staring at you with a sly smirk as half his face was burrowed into the pillow.

"Pretty baby...did you sleep well?"

".........wh-what....did you do???"

You stared at him with furrowed brows and wide eyes. How could he do this? This was way too far.

You nearly wanted to scream at him, although that wouldn't have worked out in your favor, yet still, you were on the brink of breaking down when suddenly his words nearly caused you burst into tears.......what could you possibly say in response?.......

"Aw baby, dont be that way, it was an accident. Dont worry, its not like they shared it with anyone else.....remember? Its....NO BIG DEAL."

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️ 

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

[lunarrosette]

Ok gang I’m gonna talk my shit abt Brian bc it’s eating me alive

So timeline wise a lot of this is built of assumptions, so traditionally in medieval Europe knights begin training at as young as 7 so assumedly that’s when Brian was sent to guarding academy in O’Khasis and going off the age given to him in rebirth we’ll say he’s 16, so he spent roughly 8-9 years in O’Khasis for training (this is just speculation based on traditional medieval knight training but part of it is basically tending to nobility and basically what I’m saying is Brian may have been assign to tend to Zane) and bc he was the traitor in the end it’s assumed he had a close relationship to Zane (whether they were “friends”, he had to protect Zane, or he was scared of Zane, or some combination) so long story short all his formative years were spent training to lay down his life for whoever he’s protecting and probably being manipulated by Zane and likely the knowledge his father sent him here as soon as he could (not with malicious intent but still that’ll fuck up a kid)

And then he comes home and his father has fallen apart after the lords death, he’s drinking more and just generally being a fucking idiot and this is the man he likely idolized growing up (while he was home) bc he was a guard he was everything he was told he should want to be and now to see him like that…. Not great

Additionally it’s also implied that Dale was not as present as he could’ve been for the time Brian still lived with them growing up as Dale expresses this regret after the Alexis stuff

Now Alexis and Brian open up a whole new thing bc one: Brian sees that Dale is not exactly being a role model even now that they have a new daughter two: Alexis gets fucking turned into a shadow knight and then falls into a coma so everyone (rightfully so) is most concerned abt her three: Zane was once again in proximity to Brian so whatever that would make Brian the traitor was likely reminded to him and four: as this happens Dale reflects on how he parents and decides to become a better parent and he does once Alexis wakes up but as far as we’re aware never communicates this regret to Brian

So that likely breeds some resentment in Brian, now Dale is this attentive father to Alexis and completely resigned from being guard something that Brian would likely look down upon bc of his training and his father is now the opposite of what he knew him as, making is training feel worthless from the perspective of doing what his father wanted bc now his father isn’t even that

Those emotions and anger and isolation is a perfect environment for Zane to swoop in and continue to turn Brian against his family and phoenix drop as a whole and he does bc brian betrays everyone

What really gets me is that the series doesn’t treat any of this like this there is not even a conversation abt how Dale or Molly feel abt this bc they’re not even there and then it 15 years later and Brian is never seen again and sure I know why, it was to cause distrust in aphmau’s close friends both in character and for the audience and Brian was a red herring for garroth’s betrayal as well so the audience would let their guard down it’s just… it completely disregards Brian as a character bc at the end of the day for this he wasn’t he was a plot device used for a traitor, he doesn’t get any clear motives, he doesn’t get more attention beforehand, there’s no build up, it’s not even explored what happened at the guarding academy that made him turn against the VILLAGE HE WAS BORN AND partly RAISED IN AND SWORN TO PROTECT AS A GUARD like that doesn’t take nothing and we’ll never truly know it bc he never appears again

TLDR: Brian was a 16 year old kid who was manipulated for 9 years and had a rough relationship with his father and Zane being there for the manipulation turned Brian against phoenix drop and Aphmau severely underutilized his tragedy and it was in the long run pretty inconsequential

@dilly-dahlia and @doot-doo-t expressed interest in all my mcd rambling so I’m tagging y’all in this bc I started writing it earlier today and finished now

[commanderquinn]

a list of canon ways in which lillian hart is The Fucking Worst that cora coe deserves financial and emotional compensation for:

-the basis for the big divorce counseling mission is that cora's worried for her mother's safety. that means, before going on a deep cover operation with smugglers known to kill rangers, marines, or anyone else caught trying to interfere with their business, lillian didnt leave her daughter a heads up much less a lead. once the fuck again, this woman decided that her career was more important than her daughter's mental and emotional health. once the fuck again, this woman decided she could just disappear from cora's life and then come back out of the blue without consequence

-when you go to lillian's office to look for her at cora's request, the guy working the desk knows SAM well enough to know his name and give him shit like they've got a personal history, but he??? isnt sure about????? cora's name???? word for word, he looks at her and says "it's cora, right?" you're telling me that this woman doesn't talk about her kid enough for her fellow INVESTIAGATIVE rangers to be sure about her name??? are you SHITTING ME??????? get the fuck out of here. you cant push "ranger family values" and the close ties they have in one breath then claim she likes to keep a professional distance at work in the other. you wanna have the conversation about what fresh hell it is being a working mother in a position of power, lets go, ill have that conversation all day long. but lillian hart is not a fucking example of a working mother and im gonna be pretty fucking insulted for working mothers everywhere if i catch wind of ppl trying to pull that kind of defense card. the woman's an awful parent and should be held the fuck accountable for it. you wanna know how i know????

she doesn't say cora's name enough for the ranger watching the door to be confident in it, but he remembers alllll the stories of the captain her ex is cozying up to. and lillian is the one to confirm during the quest that she has been getting the stories from cora, so there's some clear "oh she already likes the stranger more than me." i know im reading into it because its fiction and none of these people are real, but ive also, y'know been in cora's shoes, so i can tell you from real life experience that shit does exist. idk if that was the writers INTENT, but it sure does a great job at reflecting a very sad reality

-sam points out its dumb that lillian wants to speed the ship, with her daughter on it, directly at the sydicate. idk abt y'all, but my ship was pretty dinky at that point bc i was focused on outposts, and we got ambushed by like 6 ship waves once we landed for that fight. again, i get it. game mechanics get a higher priority than realism. but this whole "we have to finish this because theres a chance you were spotted trying to rescue me" shit is so. nauseating. theres no demand to drop off cora somewhere safe, theres no "lets call in the cavalry." its this fucking egomaniac looking you dead in the eye and being like "i know i just traumatized the shit out of my kid but i need you to drive us into an ambush while she's still on board. hope you're a good shot because sam and i cant kill them ourselves." and so what that we did that????? YOURE TELLING ME IT WAS JUST THOSE SHIPS???? the rest of the organization is just going to LET IT GO???? like no fucking wonder sam sees himself as the better option even through all his fucking doubt. at least he knows when to turn the fuck around because shit is above his paygrade

-she has custody rights. she is a decorated and respected ranger. sam being a smuggler wasnt public knowledge, but point out one person in akila who wouldnt believe her in a heartbeat over it. everyone in town gives him nothing but shit, and they all side with his dad who was definitely no picnic to live with. im guessing big emotional detachment there, lotta interrogation and persecution rather than teaching and understanding. HELL, sam would probably own up to his past if lillian outed him for it, he's that type of idiot. at literally any point she could put in the effort to get legal council involved. if she's SOOOO by the law, whats the hold up there???? i agree the kid shouldnt be on my ship while im in the middle of a space fight. ive talked with sam about it, and im not even the kids parent (as of the personal quest). what the fuck are you doing about it lillian????????? oh thats right. we cant get lillian on the phone. whomp whomp.

-she made cora cry. hyper independent, "big girls dont cry" cora coe. multiple times. worse, she made cora cry because she made cora feel like she wasn't as important as lillian's career. i dont give a fuck what criminals are doing. i do not give a fuck. i give a fuck that that little pixel child got her heart broken and there isnt a dialogue for me to call out her mother for being a huge fucking cunt to her own daughter but theres a thousand and one options for me to tell sam he's parenting wrong. he is, and i have no problem using them when they're appropriate, but where the fuck are they for lillian??? why am i not allowed to tear this woman a new asshole at any point, but there's like 20+ extra dialogue options added to every single npc you have a persuade option with???? todd my head hurts and its your fault

-"im sure sam's told you all about me. go on. ask whatever you want." yet there is no option to ask what the fuck her problem is. so, clearly, i cannot, in fact, ask whatever i want.

-"but the looks i got from my fellow rangers reading alexander dumas... we do strange things for kids." yeah hart??? thats your standard????? THATS your idea of going out of your way for your kid??? literally how did sam fall for this woman oh my god i cant even listen to her speak without wanting to use the power of bitchhood i inherited from a long line of angry irish women to ridicule her to tears. maybe then she'll fucking understand how small she makes her fucking kid feel every time she turns a moment of bonding into a little "woe is me and my comfort zone oh how unfortunate i am to have a brilliant daughter that wants to connect with me through her greatest passion"

-she openly admits that she dumped the cargo sam was smuggling not because she felt any connection or sympathy or just didnt want to destroy someones chance at life in a capitalist society, but because he was a good pilot and she didnt want that talent to "go to waste" so she could recruit him. thats not really a thing against cora i just really fucking hate that and the picture it paints of her priorities as a human being

-"if we're going to be really honest here... back when we were a team... cora would follow you everywhere, like a little adoring dog. i... just fell out of it. long before we separated."

i literally. do not have words for how fucking disgusted i am by that line of dialogue. oh my fucking god. oh my fucking god. i. i TRULY would not even know where to start. the dog comparison makes me violently angry and if you'd given me a punch interrupt at that moment, i would have broken my keyboard punching the accept option

-go replay or watch a recording of that divorce counseling mission one more time. while you're doing it, imagine the roles reversed. imagine youre romancing a character thats a mother bringing cora into space, and the ranger standing in your cockpit asking to finish the mission is her father who took off to live at work once it was clear his little girl liked mommy better. imagine THAT while you listen to the (imo) out of fucking pocket dialogue where sam constantly praises lillian for being "a good ranger/woman." then you come back and tell me how comfortable you are with the concept of lillian hart as a character.

[cdroloisms]

speaking of how Weird c!sam is about c!dream, one of my fav things abt c!awesamdream in canon is definitely how they. don't see eye to eye on this? like c!dream doesn't get it and a point is made of how he doesn't get it again and again--the most glaring example, of course, being how sure c!dream is that he'll die if he gives up the book versus c!sam being just as sure when he tells him that he won't die (but, somewhat paradoxically, sounding just as sure when he says that he was looking forward to getting the book so he could kill dream and be done with it)

because in strictly pragmatic terms, once c!dream gives up the book, it's game over for him. there's no reason for c!sam to want him alive, in his mind, from any rational perspective--that was literally the whole reason why he was put in the prison, for god's sake. c!dream makes sense of what c!sam does in terms of practicality--the torture was to get the book, he can understand that, whatever. he takes issues with c!sam's being a hypocrite, but can understand c!sam in terms of himself as something with literal value (the book, 'financial benefit', the works.)

but as much as c!sam dresses up his actions in terms of practicality, he's. very much tied his identity to c!dream-as-prisoner in a way that is so far removed from purely his duty as the prison warden. his complicated feelings on dream's life in his hands are a testament to this--he has to keep dream alive, he hates this, he doesn't let dream die, he promises to keep dream alive if he gives up the book and he believes it, he looks forward to getting the book so they can finally kill dream and be done with it, the first time he brings quackity into the prison is on the heels of a fantasy of pinning dream to the ground and killing him, the last time he escorts him out is because he can't let quackity in with the knowledge that doing so will be dream's death sentence, he reacts to knowledge of dream's death by calling it freedom, he would let his dog and his significant other and damn near the whole fucking server burn for dream's life. dream speaks of his value in sam's life in terms of rare magical items and monetary profit and sam grapples not with how much dream is worth, over and over again, but what he can and will admit to himself

and. god. i keep thinking about scrapped lore, and the two different descriptions of it we got from cc!dream and cc!sam because god i feel like it. really does reflect this. like dream describes his character as "manipulating" sam and specifically mentions doing so by telling sam to "prove that you're not like [dream + quackity]", echoing daedalus, as well as promising not to attack sam or quackity etc etc etc. and it's so interesting to me because...as far as this goes in terms of a method of convincing sam. it doesn't. like sam doesn't need to prove to dream that he's different. even if we look at daedalus in specifics, the most sam really goes is grouping dream with himself (which is. crazy to be clear tho) by asking about dream using the prison for Someone Truly Evil, as in, someone not "like us." the furthest sam goes in daedalus is the consideration of dream as...someone with reasons, and therefore maybe less True Evil. he never actually admits he's a "bad person". and hell, in scrapped lore, quackity is specifically invoking daedalus by telling sam that this is revenge For The Death Dream Gave Him down to finding the exact murder weapon in order to return the favor. sam has every reason to want revenge, and dream's attempt at manipulation doesn't look particularly favorable when we consider sam's motivations.

but when we look at sam's same description of events, it goes as follows: "Dream would like, plead for me to like, save him. And I would." and it's so crazy to me because sam makes zero mention of dream's "reasons", his list of all the specific things he has to offer sam to make his life worth it, not the book not justifications of morality not dream's promises to leave him alone. all of it gets boiled down to what dream is asking for--to be saved, and to be saved by sam. at the heart of the matter, dream is asking for his life. and when it comes down to it? that's enough. that in itself is enough. sam doesn't bend himself in half describing all the moral reasons why he makes the choice he does, doesn't weigh it all on a scale of what is deserving and what is justice and what is "good" and "evil"--dream asks for him to save him. and he would.

like. and it's like, c!dream's side of c!awesamdream is also pretty damn significant--c!dream chose c!sam as his warden, literally put his life in his hands, like. their relationship predates the prison and c!dream's feelings about c!sam are evidently complicated. i'd go as far as saying that c!dream, post-prison, shows a certain degree of familiarity and even comfort with c!sam's presence in ways that aren't really true of just about anyone else--daedalus in itself includes more 1 on 1 c!dream + c!sam time than his interactions with just about any other character post-prison. even when we see c!dream with c!punz, the first interaction we see of the two of them together immediately post-prison is very short, and the streams in the finale involve quite a lot of posturing in front of c!clingy (the saw trap still makes me laugh.) daedalus isn't entirely honest, obviously, but between c!dream going "yes i'm an evil guy but i have reasons" and telling tommy that he's (checks notes) tortured vikkstar + lazar for months and decided to kill everyone to become immortal with punz and is going to kill one of c!clingy as an experiment to see how "dying a hero" influences limbo (?????) i'm kinda willing to bet that the former is a little bit more truthful to what we know about c!dream's character. but all of this makes sense,,, obviously. trauma bonding is a hell of a drug and c!dream spent a whole ass year together in the prison--his messy relationship with c!sam (and Insistence on calling them friends, which, although obviously used ironically is still kinda crazy considering) gives me brainworms, but is far from unreasonable considering the circumstances.

c!sam, on the other hand, has built his entire fucking identity around dream at this point . and the kicker is that dream doesn't even recognize to what extent this is true. they are so

[koukouture]

Talking abt Stormblood bc it's not as bad as ya'll made it out to be

I thought Stormblood was amazing. Kinda slow in the beginning but it picks up after the Reach gets destroyed. I swear to god I cried at the ending cutscene where they were singing the Ala Mhigan anthem I have never felt so damn patriotic for a fictional country in MY LIFE.

For me, I think Heavensward and Stormblood both sit in the same camp of "high highs but LOW lows" because both of them have great moments but then utterly fail in others. For example, I thought Stormblood's villain cast was amazing especially compared to Heavensward. The more political aspects of Stormblood's story were also a joy and the whole thing did feel like an exhausting two front war. I think where Stormblood failed where Heavensward and the other expansions (up to SHB at least) succeeded is the character development. As for Heavensward's lows... it's the entire second half leading up to the final confrontation. Yeah I said it. After Haurchefant died the writing kinda took a nosedive in quality and then gradually built it's way back up to the Final Steps of Faith which I felt was an amazing finale. I will go into Heavensward another time bc I feel the need to defend Stormblood a bit.

Obviously we need to talk about Lyse now so let me preface this by saying that I LOVE Lyse. She is amazing and I liked her a lot- HOWEVER. I can't deny my girl was done DIRTY. I feel like Lyse just didn't really grow? Like pre Stormblood Lyse and post Stormblood Lyse are supposedly different people but nothing feels different? Character development doesn't need to be drastic as Alphinaud's ARR-Heavensward development but I feel like there is nothing different at all about Lyse. I guess you could say there's a difference between Lyse as "Yda" and normal Lyse but I don't think there is? No I don't have any proposal's on how to "fix" her writing I just feel like maybe we skipped a couple steps? I feel like in Stormblood we didn't get lots of individual character moments as opposed to the other expansions where we always got some moments where the main story takes a backseat for a cutscene or two and we talk feelings. Because that's where I feel ffxiv's character writing shines. In those moments of reflection and quiet we get lots of characterization. Or maybe it was in Stormblood or a) I forgot or b) it just didn't fucking matter in the end. The later is probably the worse.

I feel like Hien also has this problem where it feels like he did a lot of his development off screen before we met him. Which would be fine if he was just a supporting character but he's kind of the main character for our time in the Far East and in a good chunk of the post Stormblood MSQ. Again- I love Hien. That's my homie- but he just feels sort of nothing at times? Like there are just gaps in his character or really important moments that we should have seen but we just didn't. Again, I have no offers on how to "fix" it but it just feels really off.

I think Stormblood did a much better job with the villain's writing this expansion. Like the characterization and backstory of the antagonists this expansion (barring Asahi bc he felt kinda tacked onto Post-Stormblood stuff) was amazing. I really felt for each of the villains this expansion. I do think there is something to be said about how ffxiv girls always kinda get cucked when it comes to writing bc I thought Yotsuyuu deserved better and Fordola begrudgingly beginning to align herself with the heroes post Stormblood feels like untapped potential. Idk what it is but the writers seemed to have thought out the villains more this expansion than the heroes.

Like obviously I love Zenos everybody fucking knows that about me- but Yotsuyuu bro. Hnnng. I kind of love how she's not a fighter and how she deals with her femininity. Like I was so fucking sick when post-Stormblood her fuck ass dad shows up and remarks that she's still pretty and he could sell her off???? God. I'm sorry I loveeeeee exploration of the female experience in any media and maybe it's a personal thing but Yotsuyuu really parallels my WoL. Yotsuyuu is just female rage to the max I love her and I completely understand her. Yeah, if I grew up like THAT I would have also turned on my own country. (/j)

Actually let's circle back to ffxiv girls getting done dirty by the writing because Y'SHTOLA???? HELLO????? My girl did NOTHING for the SECOND EXPANSION IN A ROW????? Y'shtola was out of commission for literally all of Heavensward and only came back during the Dragonsong questlines for convenience AND THEN she gets cucked after the big inciting incident of Stormblood and just doesn't wake up until (from what I remember) the final battle??? WHAT THE FUCK MAN??? I think Y'shtola in general just has kind of a big writing problem as well but like her characterization is so good I can't help but like her and that can be said for a lot of ffxiv characters especially this expansion.

Aiyaa anyways, tldr Stormblood overall plot was super ambitious and mostly good, character writing fell kinda flat this expansion. Stormblood is also unfortunately sandwiched by two objectively better expansions bc Heavensward is so fucking hype and Shadowbringers is... Shadowbringers. Yeah I finished Shadowbringers and I kinda feel for Stormblood lmao like how do you immediately get followed up by THAT. It's not even a competition. I feel like Stormblood was really long- which I do appreciate bc uh I sped through Shadowbringers in like four days 💀. Pacing is very important and I think Stormblood needed to be long to be believable. It feels like it takes span across several months which makes sense because we're fighting two fucking revolutions.

However, I think Stormblood really wins when it comes to the trials and raids. None of the dungeons really stuck out to me BUT THE TRIALS. Ohhh my god. Susano my fucking beloveddddd ugh that fight is so fun. Also the Yojimbo/Gilgamesh trial from the Hilibrand quests is a great time it's always a good day whenever I get it in roulettes. I have yet to do the Alliance raids bc I kindaaaa got distracted with Shadowbringers but I think the Omega raids as well as the accompanying questline was a delight. If Stormblood wins over ANY expansion it's for the content. I've already finished the Shadowbingers raids (the lesbians got me) but I think the Omega raids are still a lot more fun. As for the Alliance raids, well, Stormblood has to top the Nier raids for me because I think they're GLORIOUS. But yk what I'm sure it will bc from what I've gathered everyone says Stormblood has some of the best content.

[denybunnyforgood]

How often does edgebunny edge? I saw it doesn't get to cum, and I like that it's specifically to make its life worse, not better, but that makes me wonder if it edges all the time to make but cumming harder, or rarely because edging can give it pleasure.

its answer isn't very inherently interesting here unfortunately--a lot of things it does in its life are pretty systematized or habitualized in some way because it takes immense discipline to do something you know will make your life worse. But despite edging being rather central (though it isn't the most central thing, it's just tumblr won't let it speak publicly abt its gender in full so w/e, trying to make a second account on bdsmlr where it can talk abt other things) to its whole deal, the only habit it has ingrained is it stops pretty soon after it reaches the edge and it can feel that thrum inside its tummy climbing up its chest, like that "God if you let me cum to anything let it be this" kinda feeling.

When it comes to when it edges it just does it whenever it really wants to. The main reason is that whenever it does stop right at that thrum, it's consistently a net negative, and that thrum is only possible when it's in a particular kind of mood.

The only way really that it can become a net positive is if it stays in the pleasure for long enough that it outweighs the tight, intense discomfort in its hips radiating through itself that comes when it denies itself. But because it doesn't do that there's very little need for any rules or discipline or habit, aside from just making sure it stops when it reaches that point of maximum need.

How frequent "whenever it feels like it" is depends on its situation. Like right now it hasn't been able to post for a while because it and its loved ones ended up getting chased out of a home (again) and being unhoused for a while doesn't really spare the thrum-potential, even with permanent denial. Like it always experiences this ambient yearning for trying to cum but it's comparatively subdued when there's hardship of the uninteresting variety in its life.

You might think that being born to have a worse life is easy because it's so easy for life to punish you, but the truth is that there are interesting and uninteresting ways to have a terrible life and only the former is worthwhile.

But your question is prob abt like, USUALLY how frequent is it? (it's getting to your question the long way, yes), and it would say probably like once a day on average.

it realizes this is getting long-winded but just to reflect on that some and hopefully make this answer interesting, it's written before abt the conceptual framework it has for orgasms. If the concept 'orgasm' marks out those desirable climactic sexual experiences, then the sensation that we refer to as an orgasm should be very different for everyone. For instance, what if you like and really want the intimacy of playing and being close to someone, and that's the height of the experience for you? Can't that be an orgasm instead of the specific rush of dopamine we tend to associate the concept with?

it was born an object whose pleasure has zero moral worth, but it being violated in interesting ways, being denied right at the edge, being brought to tears, having its throat brutalized until it starts heaving, these do add moral value to the world in all kinds of ways. And so those are the most desirable experiences. So when it used to have the kinds of orgasms people had, those were fake orgasms. it used to have those twice a week, and these real orgasms are literally more than one per day. For people they're real orgasms but for it they're fake orgasms. The real orgasms are those violations, denials, sobs and throatgasms. And it isn't fair if the people who violate it have real orgasms and it has a fake one. They're making themselves vulnerable to it and it's being insincere.

That's a huge part of why it's so absurdly important to it that when it has sex it does whatever it can to make sure it doesn't enjoy it and that what it wants or what it's okay with doesn't matter. it wants the experience to be authentic, and if it's pretending to be a person when its partner isn't pretending to be something they're not, that's not fair to them and that's not something they'd consent to.

And the fact that these real orgasms are so much more frequent and forthcoming than fake orgasms is just one of those small pieces of evidence it holds onto to affirm itself. it often has doubts, as many do abt their identity, and that can be dangerous because the moment it isn't convinced it's morally obligated to go down this route it'll spend years trying to achieve personhood.

Holding onto these little pieces of evidence is one of the ways it affirms its objecthood so it can keep nurturing it. It's not its main method, that would be surrounding itself with peers who understand and do what needs to be done when it has its...moments of doubt, but even this tertiary method is effective and has positive side effects.

Okay hopefully that's answered your question and more? But it understands if this ramble left you more questions and it's happy to answer. Actually typing this did do something for it so it'll edge right now :)

TL;DR: Nothing interesting rly just whenever it feels like it, which is once a day average.

[blankvort]

you've probably answered something like this but favourite songs from the stage show and i want details, GO‼️

pezberrywhoreee i cannot even begin to describe the dearth of times i have answered anything related to mean girls and the amount of times i have internally cried and screamed wanting to interrupt a conversation to talk about mean girls. i say that god is dead but you are doing his work right here. putting this under a read more because you said details and this became a study of why every song in the stage show is better than opioids and thin mints combined <333 no articulacy here just 8000+ words of vibes and ranting

first of all if cady sings a single line i am violently shoving every note of the song into a mental folder called faves in such eldritch fonts that my brain computer is halfway to summoning cthulhu whenever it loads the soundtrack. she is described as the heart of the story on the backstage casting call page for a reason and that reason is her absolutely incredible range as she struts from the plucky guitar gyrations and membranophone-focused percussion of it roars into the candid, confiding, crescendoing (and other c words you can probably guess based on the verbiage i use in dms) keys of stupid with love and then climb the vocal volcano that is apex predator and akfjskhfidbdihgshejfhiajw i love her and i love her songs and i need to shut up now i’m sorry

second (but not really because i’m still going on and on about cady i’m sorry) i’m upset abt most other productions burying cady’s fourth-wall breaks and kind of making the segue into revenge party less. i don’t know riled up?? because 1) where did my girl janis’s influence go it is so much more impactful when cady’s main reason for going along with the revenge plot and pushing it further is hearing about janis being outed from janis herself! when her main motivator becomes aaron, who she likes super superficially by the time more is better rolls around, you think wow! what a bitch! for even longer! like you don’t even have to cut the “your hair looks sexy pushed back”/”are his eyes gray or green” conversation that prods her into sending gretchen over the edge this isn’t a time issue 2) where did cady’s brain go bring me a whole box of profound regret and impulsive decisions let the people in the back hear the hows and whys of her descent into plastichood and moreover i would like her to sing more and most of all i love it when characters break the fourth wall. by that i mean i want the “sounds kind of bad right to spy on someone but they’re the first friends i’ve had and i don’t want to have none” things back because the narrative nudity and the way it follows the melody of the verses in fearless is a+++

now. my legitimate favorite songs from the stage show in chronological order

a cautionary tale: the repartee the art freaks have is elite and so are their riffs. The lyrics are 3am notes app poetry lines and that’s an amazing thing for mean girls. It’s not the typical broadway opening number but it’s rough and brash and brilliant. To me the cast of mean girls strikes the perfect balance between caricature and lived-in character and the insouciance of this song towards seriousness reflects that wonderfully. Janis assuming the worst of everyone by saying that the temptation to be popular and hot is far too great and saying that you can’t buy integrity at the mall is some nice, if blatant, foreshadowing regarding cady losing her integrity as she gets caught up in the perilous biome of shopping centers with such dangerous patrons as build-dat-bear. The last line of the chorus abruptly changing the amount of beats in the measure adds an extra kick layout fosse quality that i love too. The ending is the apotheosis of mezzo-soprano/tenor harmonization. Need both janis and damian to step on me but for different reasons. No i will not elaborate

it roars: i have a soft spot for wild life but it roars is superior in every way to me because it introduces cady, the show’s sense of humor, the cast’s incredible skill when it comes to singing and dancing (seriously i had never seen an ensemble that made me want to be ensemble before mean girls), and the perfect transition from a cautionary tale will always get me hyped. i have many thoughts about the many changes the mg script and score have gone through throughout the years but oh my god my jaw dropped at the breathtaking belting of “i have danced with the maasai, i have climbed kilimanjaro” when i first heard it mashed up with it roars and the callback the verse gets in fearless 2.0(?) totally dislocated it. Also i know that it’s a pairing so unpopular it’s basically nonexistent but hear me out when i say that it roars is just a more optimistic, afrobeat inspired version of what’s wrong with me. Cady never seems to think that it’s the student body that needs to change, she thinks she needs to fight and win to belong just as gretchen thinks she needs to serve the most powerful person in school to be deserving of… idk anything?? Of course you cannot trust me on this because i will ship cady with anyone if you give me the chance. Writing cady/the marymount girl fanfic as we speak

it roars is the first indicator that musical cady is pretty different from movie cady in that she earnestly wants to go to the us, wants to have more/better friends, wants to try high school and skateboards and rapping and starbucks venti chai. which makes sense because you know you gotta have that sick i want song so characters feel less tossed about and more thrusting into. there’s a better way to word that but i don’t have the skull size to summon a less immature dictionary right now. a curious thing about it roars, though, is that kenya, being a country and all, has high school and skateboards and rapping. no starbucks because apparently rwanda was an easier location to settle into but that’s a good thing actually nobody should support starbucks. either way you can really see that cady’s been sheltered from the realities of any society past the stone age and idolizes this incredibly abstract view of friends and people. she’s equal parts desperate and determined, artless and acute. it’s ironic, i feel that at first her speech patterns (lions and birds and stuff) seem at odds with her sub-saharan surroundings as though she’s already trying to integrate herself with this slangy teenage culture she knows nothing about and then when she finally finds herself in slangy teenage culture she compares everything to the survival-based rules of the savannah. i know this is probably for streamlining purposes but it’s also so interesting to me that her immediate reaction to her parents’ funding being cut is wow adventure wow possibilities. she knows that everybody wants connection but she doesn’t yet know why connection has to be culled by all these arbitrary rules like fashion or acting cool. like i don’t remember where i read this but some novel said that the only thing worse than being smart is being smart and sensitive because then neither the logical nor emotional explanations for any event can make sense. i swear i will find that book someday to take a photo but today i am bedridden because i walked the five or so inches from home to the grocery store

back to it roars. i hate the grammar in the line “none of my closest friends even has hands” but i love everything else about the song. the beat is so bouncy and the ostinati of the wind and brass sections are top tier. the comedic beats are underscored by cutting the music and then the vocals come back in soaring alongside the strongest bass since george perry and i could die happy if hospitals changed the flatline noise to any cady singing “so exhilarating”.

two paragraphs and we’re still going strong dead god help me. personally i feel like the best delivery of the ensemble lines have to be as obnoxious and deafening as humanly possible but i get people who feel differently. it’s just really great to me when cady is polite and confused and very presumptuous and sonja aquino’s actively going through act two of the exorcist in real time. i think that’s why danielle wade is my cady of choice too. love it when autism: the song is put through the epiglottic funnel of anxiety. also i’m wiping tears right now about the fact cady refers to phones as little screens in her first act one song and in the act two opener she’s glued to her phone because she wants attention so badly and still doesn’t feel like she has enough even though she talks about how america and the plastics are so much more than what she’s used to. Also very interesting that cady views inclusion as a game that needs to be won (and eventually comes to view baleful adoration as winning) even though she later exhibits a sort of survival of the fittest mentality that shows up as early as her mention of baboons attacking those that go near their pack. Fun fact i think her takeover of the plastics mirrors dispersal in male baboons wherein mature male baboons leave the pack they were born into to find another troop to temporarily stay in and usually if they end up replacing the alpha male of that non-natal troop they commit infanticide because then he can reproduce with the alpha male’s old mate/s. That’s not super fun but it is a fact to me. but i’ll talk about the strange views musical cady heron seems to hold about winning more in my do this thing essay which i am definitely going to write despite my best efforts to make this post under five thousand words

gonna slide the it roars reprise in here too because it’s not on the soundtrack but it still makes me feel things. “i’m sixteen just like everyone here but not like everyone here” and what if i said mean girls is the best dissection of the torturous dichotomy between being desperate to belong and being desperate to be unique. There’s a thing called theatrical exaggeration but for mental health purposes i choose to believe that north shore class of x immediately clocked cady as a weirdo utterly undeserving of trust or respect when they saw her wear socks and sandals. I know i just complained about people calling every iteration of cady boring but i feel like i haven’t seen actual hate for musical cady (at least not as much slander as i’ve seen sent to og movie and especially movie musical cady) because you can better bear witness to her most vulnerable moments when she’s singing directly at you instead of saying things in a soundproof recording studio. She’s not quitting she’s regrouping! Which is a fascinating choice of words to me because regrouping in math is basically carrying over values because they’re too much. She gets sucked into this idea that more is better even though she has to compartmentalize the information she’s learned from hostile classmates and teachers and draw connections to her experience with animals because more is not better without proper management. Also this bitch is gonna get e coli if the janitors don’t care enough to clean the slut-shaming graffiti on the wall they are not wiping down those cubicle doors

where do you belong: i love gay people. “so what if all the ducklings think you’re ugly it’s because they’ve never seen a swan” is ted talk worthy material. never getting over the fact that damian knew this girl for all of maybe one introductory french class’s worth of interaction, accused her of doing drugs, and then built her confidence back up from the seventh circle of hell. the “your mother called you baby girl?” “singing!” exchange is peak best friend banter and showcases the art freaks’ dynamic of frank, funny jerk with a tarnished heart of gold and budding broadway babe with a shocking amount of wisdom obscured by hilarity and hypocrisy. the debate team rejected damian because he was too fabulous to be deigned to one oregon-oxford role i’ve decided. i love unreliable narrators and damian shooing cady away from the mathletes as soon as she shows the barest interest in them is an entertaining way of showing that nobody in this story is free from social norms. the lunch tray percussion is something all marching bands should adopt and so are the lighting cues. janis’s reactions to damian killing his dance breaks are the best. rachel hamilton is my fave ensemble student i don’t care if she gets maybe two or three lines total.  she was giving bombastic side eyes before anyone knew the word bombastic. i desperately need to know if she knew what cady was actually saying or if she thought cady was just a lion king stan asking to be canceled. damian painting everyone but his two-person clique as problematic is also peak teenage behavior. everything at that age is just finding the lesser of two evils and figuring out whether or not you want to meet the bigger evil anyways. janis deriding “the geeks and the freaks” despite being labeled as an art freak by every mg promo is also amusing and barrett and mary-kate’s deliveries of “christian believers” could send me to heaven any day they want. the ending is so satisfying to listen to and even more satisfying to watch. also i do mean it when i say that cady was adopted by the local gays in this number. are janis and damian aware that having their own table in a school that makes juniors and seniors have lunch at the same time makes them more powerful than all the politicians of the globe combined

stupid with love: ALSKAJLDJASLDAJLLKJ. stupid with love is the best musical representation of how a crush driven by hormones and being treated with the barest sense of humor and dignity can devour a person taylor swift eat your heart out. the music really sweeps you up into this story like you’re a close friend privy to even her most embarrassing thoughts and the way her love life flashing before her eyes just shuts out whatever aaron was going to say about lebron james is the funniest thing because yeah! you can be convinced you’re totally in love with someone when you’re that age while ignoring everything that makes them a well-rounded human being! the way cady’s clearly grown up in a caring household that’s so chock full of trust that her parents can’t fathom that she’d do anything remotely dangerous while having the whole house to herself for more than one hour BUT also feels like she doesn’t “get” love is super interesting to me to like most sixteen-year-olds have the idea that their parents don’t understand them sure but has she come to the conclusion that familial love isn’t enough? that she doesn’t get enough familial love anyways? that love is unknowable? does she wholeheartedly believe that she fell in love at age five? stupid with love is a song of so many possibilities and it’s as giddy and delusional as you’d expect, every emotion heightened by cady’s new brand of eloquence. fetch may never happen but calculust absolutely should. the little snippets of dialogue in between are so endearing on both cady and aaron’s ends to the point where i can forgive ms norbury clearly not knowing how to conduct a class. who’s gonna tell cady to raise her hand before she answers. i’m kidding she can do whatever she wants, even ignore the existence of multiplication. multiplication is a bitch cady i get it

we once again see that cady is determined almost to the point of self-destruction and that she’s desperate to live a ‘normal’ life by getting together with the normalest boy of all time and the song so perfectly sets up why we should care about cady and aaron as a couple–he’s the only person thus far to not even suggest what she should think/do, encouraging her in a teasing way to be herself (ie smart) instead of telling her to be dumber so he can feel better about himself. cadaaron is the only straight ship ever argue with the wall. also the instrumental on its own is literally such a bop?? i’d drop a grand piano on myself daily if the keys could just perpetually play the song. quoth my own blog my heart belongs to every video out there of a cady opting up on the last “i learned math so i can learn love” it just fits so well thematically and makes the song even more satisfying because it makes you think yes!! summon that girlfailure swag and learn love. also this song is so next to me from twihard: a new musical coded with the pencils and/or feet providing the musical pulse. this is me very subtly begging you to listen to twihard: a new musical as put on by the esoteric ensemble productions and uploaded like a full decade ago starring danielle wade 

apex predator: i love women. i love bon jovi. i love zoology. this song was made for me tina fey told me herself. i can even forgive whoever made halls rhyme with dolls because of the regina furry confirmation. the first few chords kind of give me jaws theme vibes. it’s grinding and warning and doused in grit. you get the brightness of cady’s other songs cut with the flinty, darker strings of janis’s numbers. the heavy drum sort of sounds like a heartbeat, quickening as cady realizes the might of the pride and considers how regina’s help compares to janis’s in an almost clinical manner. shout out to erika henningsen’s “exotic pet” obviously. that line should be studied by every ivy league with a literary program because regina and cady considering the other an exotic pet instead of a real friend but still seeking each other’s approval……. maybe the narrative foils are really reflections of my tin foil hat but hear me out. it’s so interesting that they refer to regina as an apex predator because apex predators are animals without natural enemies but almost every single friend or admirer of regina’s exhibits an envious kind of awe when it comes to regina. regina’s so magnetic that you can’t be her enemy but close enough to pseudo-celebrity that you can’t exactly be her friend either. also the harmony at the end combined with the epic percussion deserves its own award. no longer does egot mean anything. One must be an egota (emmy grammy oscar tony apex predator singer) to be considered showbiz royalty

stupid with love (reprise): cady is so so smart and so so stupid. aaron getting confused at a genuine compliment not solely based on his looks is adorable but i also love it when the line delivery gets changed to be more like “wow i already know i’m cool but it’s nice to hear it from the cute possibly murderous girl who sits behind me”. same goes for cady’s “shit” right after aaron swears off dating–it’s funny as hell whether she’s smiling through the pain or so disappointed in herself she looks like she’s experiencing medical shock. her making love into a function is similarly messed up but funny as hell. i literally have a google drive folder full of audio clips of the “i just don’t get it–i’ll never get it–i just don’t get it–somehow…” part it’s so serious

sexy: this is modern feminism talking i expect to run the world in shoes i cannot walk in - the greatest mind of our generation karen smith. if the national emergency alarm was changed to the ending riff i would become an arsonist just to hear it over and over again. a youtube commenter said that she sings every line like she’s waiting to be shown the script and redo it and whenever acting and singing can waltz along in magnificence together i sob in joy even if that waltz is set to trashy pop. literally every costume shown is worthy of fashion week and then some. the sex doctor bit is beyond saturday night live. sexy rosa parks deserves the world. modern feminism is a mess but at least it built the last verse of this incredible song.

someone gets hurt: regina pretending to cry and aaron being confused again and then being manipulated into a makeout session is so so funny. so terrible but so funny. the incredible blare of noise after that first “until someone gets hurt” feels like being pushed off a cliff and into a sea of warning sirens which feels fitting. if any song from the stage show were to be played by a chamber orchestra i would want it to be someone gets hurt because everything about it is almost four seasons by vivaldi to me. as i said do not expect sensible comparisons from this review. it’s really dark and intense like all of regina’s numbers but this time her style of seduction is on full display, highlighted by some heavy timpani work and a male ensemble that’s carrying more than just regina on their backs holy cow. squidward would worship regina with how she made the bass clarinet sultry despite hitting something in the high fs during each “hurt” and holding that “go” for like five seconds. the ending is giving celine dion’s villain arc. it’s also maybe the first time the audience sees aaron through the eyes of anyone other than cady who’s so starstruck she might as well be blind and we see a guy who’s still susceptible to regina’s yknow reginaness. she guilt trips him about his potential infatuation with his body and then gets extremely touchy with him while wearing a playboy bunny costume. she asks if she was a game he wanted to play despite (maybe devoid of remorse) playing him just to get back at cady. she’s making so much shit up because peeling away too many layers of her perfection would be dangerous but so would losing aaron to cady’s actual openness. first she says “fine” to mean that she’ll be fine without aaron in the reverse psychology sense, then they say “fine” to mean that they’re both hot af, then he says “fine” to agree to get back with regina and possibly to convince himself that his interest in cady can and should be pushed aside because being with regina is better for them both. love this song. hate being unable to sing a single note of it.

revenge party: my overall fave song of the obc album, the stage show, and the movie musical. words alone cannot describe the excitement that electrocutes my nerves when i hear “now you know, caddy—” because everything from that line onwards is going to be stuck in my head for at least a week. some people can’t function until their first cup of coffee in the morning, i can’t function until my first listen of revenge party. in slight relation to that gretchen’s squawking will make me spit out any drink; such has been scientifically proven over the course of several years. i actually have a line-by-line analysis of revenge party drafted so i won’t go into detail right now because i need viewer retention but i mean it when i say art freak harmonization is the best kind.

whose house is this: if kevin g has one fan it is me. let the man rap even if half his lyrics don’t make sense. i have heard the big fun from heathers comparisons. i have heard the halloween from be more chill comparisons. all of them are so incorrect i could set several houses ablaze with the rage i feel at the very suggestion that whose house is this isn’t a masterpiece. no joke this is the first song on my workout playlist. the way nobody even cares about cady in this number is hilarious and so is kevin refusing to swear. gretchen deserves all the thank yous and so does the horns section. karen’s actions are just. Absurd as they always should be. the mario kart ass instrumentals during that “turn the freaking music up” segment make me pleasantly stressed. there are traces of jungle techno but little to no traces of cady’s signature sound and the usually lax but articulate and expressive rhyme scheme of her songs switching to frenzied verses full of immaturity and inconsideration makes me feel things that should not be felt while listening to a rave number with flatulent bass.

more is better: the only romantic duet to ever exist if you ask me. the fact that cady switches from the more sincerity-charged love to like most likely because the plastics’ philosophy is to be cool about things makes me want to bite the bars of alcatraz prisons. the way cady’s signature sound only really returns after aaron chooses to leave her because she’s become regina 2.0 without even acknowledging it is the stuff of emotionally resonant legend. as i said in my aaron review post the only thing that bothers me about this number is aaron kissing cady while she’s clearly drunk and he isn’t but cady kind of gets him back after do this thing so. yay equality. aaron’s so tired of being manipulated and told to shut up i feel so bad for him. cady’s so in denial about missing her old home in any capacity and being uncomfortable with the skin she’s tried to grow into for aaron’s sake and i feel so bad for her. the shimmering sound that comes with cady singing “stars” makes me feel better though. 11/10 would be sad again. say no to excessive air conditioning and light pollution

someone gets hurt (reprise): i like it when gays have bad breakups without even dating. what more do you want. but actually i am obsessed with the way this is blocked out because the way the chaos of cady’s house gradates into the dark street where there’s nothing but her and her crumbling friendships. the link between janis and regina is really reinforced by this song and it makes me feel insane.

world burn: the only way regina can redeem herself for wearing a black turtleneck and black pants is by slaying so hard you forget she’s just printing shit and polluting the corridors and she does it in world burn. her having a recurring set of notes to follow until she absolutely loses it is iconic. i learned so much about hernia formation through this song so i think it’s also an educational heritage site. the contrast of her 1984-esque lyrics and beats with lines like “trang pak is a grotsky byotch” is beyond hilarious but in the context of the show it makes my timbers shiver. she is both manipulated and the master manipulator. renee rapp’s opt up for the ending is golden but every regina brings their own flair and intensity to it. something that really interests me is how different actresses interpret the lines “this is what i get for helping / helping someone lame fit in” because to generalize regina either thinks she was actually helping cady or is trying to convince herself/the audience that her primary motivator was controlling cady’s every action before she got too hot to ignore or because she saw her hanging around janis and damian or because regina can’t ask a girl out like a normal person. idk it’s very fun and very satisfying to listen to and ramps up the ante for all antagonistic songs ever!

i’d rather be me: did you mean the feminist anthem of the twenty-first century? i’d rather be me is pure janis in her sort of jumpy, edgy, eleven o’clock exasperated glory tuned to this effusive fusion of pop and rock. the energy this has is soooo good because every girl in school is tired of being treated like shit because of the expectations placed on them by society and the idea that by i’d rather be me the female student body of north shore is so exhausted of the plastics’ bs that they parade janis around despite shunning her for years is amazing. most criticisms of this are abt how wordy it is or how it’s not worded right but hello janis is a teenager her inner and outer monologue is not going to be as mature as fucking grizabella the glamor cat and it can include words that anyone would study for the sats like sycophant. sycophant is not that fancy a word i learned the word sycophant from a star wars fanfiction i read when i was seven how could you not know the word sycophant at age seven squared after making a living out of reviewing shows written by wordsmiths like sondheim. sorry that was mean i’m just tired of people either going “they wouldn’t talk like that they’re teenagers” or “they shouldn’t talk like that they’re part of a theatrical production worth millions of dollars!” lmao

ok so i think that janis was losing herself just as much as cady over the course of the revenge plot taking place because okay she’s ruined regina but she’s barely changed anything about herself and if her plan had worked without hitches wtf was she going to do. was she going to keep hanging out with cady. was she going to fill the power vacuum left by the plastics herself. was she going to run regina over with a bus herself. i’d rather be me is the culmination of the crushing pillars of her revenge plot and the full realization that revenge wasn’t what she wanted–she wanted to change the way the world works, change it into a place where people can just do and be without being ostracized. to me the instrumentals and the mockery in the lyrics are almost stinging?? someone with even could describe this better than me but the strings during the instrumental section between verses remind me of a mosquito bite because they’re high and sharp and put against the heavy drums and cymbal crashes they really paint this picture of a dam of anger breaking and giving way to a new wash of awareness. 

also i cannot stand it when ppl say this song is the show giving endorsement to janis being a hypocrite there is a reason why all the lyrics are in future tense. she is wrapping her mind around the notion that there is no pleasing everyone, that there is no true gratification gained by holding grudges and letting them control your every thought, that if you don’t let yourself have the liberty of lashing out you’re only going to manifest your maliciousness in worse ways with longer-lasting effects. that being said let girls be haters

also the obc album should’ve let janis swear. every public performance of i’d rather be me should let janis swear. let her have a line with bite before her throat turns into a cavern where vowels go to melt into a singular solution

also janis’s costumes over the course of the whole show are amazing but her look in i’d rather be me goes so hard. if i had any of janis’s jackets i think i’d curl into it like a cocoon and wait until the heat death of the universe for metamorphosis into coolness

do this thing: no joke this is the second song on my workout playlist. i hate the title so much but i love also the audience reaction when ms norbury starts singing as if she didn’t just slay the what’s wrong with me reprise gets me every time. truly the actresses in the adult women track are so underappreciated and so are the adult women in general. kevin g’s unabashed doing of the thing regardless of the haters is iconic. the return of the heavy percussion is so enjoyable and so are the mathletes’ lines lining up with the steaming kettle sound somehow behind each buzzer even though i hate buzzers because in real life mathletes nobody wants to answer on beat. ms norbury best matchmaker ever i LOVED the detail of aaron being present for the mathletes’ win but cady clearly focusing on the competition above all else. i’m pretty sure the mathletes are also the only characters to drop an f-bomb in a song which is just fantastic + the gretchen/regina parallel between kevin and marwan regarding schquillz is phenomenal. “the limit does not exist” being both the answer to the question that signifies cady’s return to her old self with more self-assurance and the theme of the musical in terms of not limiting other people is a level of genius i will never reach.

i see stars: i’m sorry they gave cady a big finale where she calls everyone beautiful and bright and holds hands with the other girls she’s hurt and you expect me to not love it?? this one had to grow on me though because i was so bothered about the stars imagery coming up maybe like five songs before when we’d been following animals and math for the whole show. as we all know characters can only have one or two interests before they become completely incoherent. but now i know more about light pollution and have played the video of this song with the pride chorus more times than i’ve blinked so i get it. shane oman also breaking his crown during the escalation of the instrumentals from a very optimistic but singular combo of strings and cymbals into the violins and heavier drums and whatever else is such a good detail. i still get goosebumps with that “you stars” there is just so much emotion packed into this finale and the rest of the ensemble joining in is as effective as onions being cut directly into my eyes when it comes to crying. obviously my fave version of this is the one with cady and janis’s mini duet during the rhinestones don’t shine part but guaranteed this one will make me cry no matter what

now. for the songs that didn’t make it onto my absolute fave list they are still my children just bastard ones and i will go into detail about them too because there is no point in writing this post if it does not crash the tumblr dashboard for you

a cautionary tale (reprise): akin to its origins, the reprise of a cautionary tale kicking off act two is there to introduce the act, but unlike its first iteration, the reprise is literally just there. no jokes no nothing. would love to see it reworked into something that reminds the audience they’re north shore freshmen being told this story by janis and damian because i forget about that framing device until the dialogue break in i see stars every time lmao but other than that it’s serviceable and any song that involves art freak harmonization is a solid song

meet the plastics: maybe i don’t love women as much as i claim to. I don’t know why i don’t like this song more truly. Maybe i just need to listen to it more lmao because the lyrics are great, the tempo changing with each introduction is great, and gretch waiting until regina’s out of earshot to try and convert cady into a fetch truther is great. Maybe it’s the “humps my leg like a chihuahua” line that turned me off from it because nell benjamin i do not care that you wrote legally blonde i do not think regina george would bring up animal humping imagery considering what her mother puts her through unless she was hopped up on pain meds. All that being said i would die for the polyphony at the end and karen playing with cady’s hair near the end is so cute

what’s wrong with me: gretchen it’s not you it’s me and i like songs with a specific sort of climax and what’s wrong with me really does feel like a music box piece played by some dusty not-quite-antique you find in the attic that makes you feel a particular, peculiar strain of melancholy because it’s so cyclical and fragile. which is the point, probably! It just sounds really different from the rest of the show and i feel like the lyrics don’t quite fit the language we’ve heard gretch using so far but maybe that’s also part of the point. That being said the line “see that you see what’s wrong with me” makes me go mad because there are so many ways to interpret it. Is she telling the audience that they should be able to see what’s wrong with her? Is she saying that the audience sees something good in regina that she can’t see anymore because of her constant mistreatment? Is she once again asking what’s wrong with her or has she finally had a breakthrough about her dismal self-esteem?

fearless: oh my god a cady song and act ender that i’m not totally into sound the sirens. but really fearless without the revisitation of the it roars/wild life passage that tells the audience what makes her fearless aside from wanting to move to america (which might make her more fearless than i thought now i sound that out but still) isn’t my favorite songs despite it having some of my favorite moments like karen’s ribbon dance, gretchen’s very cool dance, cady mirroring regina’s pose on top of the cafeteria table at the start of meet the plastics at the end, the mini someone gets hurt reprise at the end, it isn’t my favorite to listen to because the lyrics are just all over the place. Cady why are you saying that she’ll go cry to mama do you think mrs george is sober enough for that. Cady why are you spouting live love laugh merchandise ass quotes. Cady why are you quoting dwayne the rock johnson “imagine stronger, better, bolder” are you going to play a lacrosse game against regina. Why does karen not wear more vests after this number

You know what made me care about fearless?? The fearless reprise. Oh my god the fearless reprise. I need to make a separate post about the fearless reprise but i can’t listen to it more than once a day or i’ll end up crying for hours on end.  

stop: is it homophobic of me to put three damian songs on this list? probably but i make up for it by filling that broadway cares bucket every time i can. and it’s not that i even really dislike stop!! I have so many thoughts about stop!! i just don’t like it when compared to the other songs that can hold up inside and outside the context of the show!! i just feel like it has to be experienced live to understand its award-losing enormity unlike where do you belong and even then it sounds noticeably different from the rest of the show + essentially pauses the narrative to talk about a whole other story that never gets resolved outside of damian being ghosted (i thought theater was supposed to provide escapism 😔) and then frays a bunch of threads out from the ensemble in a way that doesn’t feel quite as well sewn in as the worship we see during apex predator or after rockin’ around the pole because like. it’s funny sure but just the act before we saw that things can be funny while also moving the story along past attempting to hammer in the message “stop ignoring your real friends” in cady’s thickened-by-makeup head. 

also how does damian even know about her word vomit. cady barely even word vomits in the stage show. it’s all just word coughing fits of confusion and unintentional comedy under peer pressure. whenever she says something embarrassing she either gets cut off or turns it into a whole song. i’m sorry damian i love you and your stupid straw hat but we just saw the whole show we don’t need a recap of everything that happened in the last hour with almost zero internal rhymes and without the frantic pacing of ya got trouble from the music man. cmon.

onto things i love about stop tho which are a) the gaiety (and gay-ty) b) the dancing and c) the staging. i love it when gay characters just get to be silly goofy instead of singing themselves to their graves and even if damian was built off the dramatic thespian homostereotype he gives me the impression of a silly goofy teen trying to balance the interests of his best friends with his sanity through the medium he’s most comfortable in which happens to be literally show-stopping song-and-dance number. also we get cadnis content in the background and the choreo i’ve seen for how janis plays keep away with cady’s phone only gets better (which of course is a synonym for gayer. let the babies hold hands before they yell at each other in the street and see a 15-second death they’re both sort of kind of responsible for). the dancing of course is wonderful. i mean does it make sense in-story for damian to somehow be popular enough with the ladies to rally them into a giant dance break after asking them to divulge their biggest, darkest secrets like an hour after being kicked out of the girls’ bathroom and calling one of them danny devito? probably not. is it really enjoyable when you aren’t itching to get back to the main story? yes. it also makes north shore feel more authentic in a sense?? obviously there’s so much about the social hierarchy exaggerated for comedic effect but yeah public high school is that crazy one day you’ll hear that a classmate got into a drunk driving accident and the next you’ll hear that the same classmate scored an audition for the x factor. and the transition from the art classroom, which is one of my fave sets in the whole show because aghhhh i want to pause everything and analyze art whenever it comes up in a tv show or movie or video game or musical because it’s almost never just art present for the sake of filling the set! there’s a reason why the set designers put that there or downloaded that asset or whatever! based on the official yt video in stop we see a sort of cubist portrait of janis ian, a few monochrome figure studies, and some more abstract pieces and i so want to know what this number would’ve looked like in-universe. did cady legit just run out of class to confront damian and get swept into a gay tea spilling session until the end of the day. be glad you got suspended girl

so. while i cannot begin to fathom the stamina it takes for damian to go from that gorgeous dance break into the grand vocal ending—philip doesnt know what he’s missing out on for sure—stop is not something i play on purpose but if the obc album shuffles to it i won’t complain!

what’s wrong with me (reprise): is it homophobic of me to put every gretchen song sans whose house is this on this list? probably but again it’s just not something i can put on repeat/a number i think depends on the production to arouse much entertainment value. it’s fucking hilarious though i’ll give it that. like it might be in the top three of mg songs when it comes to unadulterated comedy. my heart breaks when gretchen realises she’s stuck in this cycle of servitude and is still being hurt by the people she most desires the approval of and her work is still going unappreciated and then i get a heart attack from laughing because regina’s reign of terror is so absolute even her own mother has feared her from the age of three onwards?? in addition to that what’s wrong with me reprise is why i cannot stand for mrs george hate she’s just a girl too. a toxic girl who never emotionally developed past high school but like. what do you want her to do. she has never had a heartfelt conversation with her daughter ever. also “why couldn’t it just be drugs” is so funny to me because yknow. reggie gets hit by a bus and spends the rest of the show so high she forgets her love languages are acts of slanderous service, passive-aggressive gifts, weaponized physical touch, quality time spent playing hard to get, and words of refutation. taylor louderman deserved a tony for pulling the kalteen bar scream off every night too i think it’s night queen aria levels of difficulty.

the funniest part of this song to me is probably the way it starts and ends so abruptly. usually you can tell when a song’s about to start in a musical but gretchen nearly breaking down into sobs as soon as cady turns her non-self-tanned back without missing a beat is both relatable and hysterical. my girl is clinging to les mis motifs and middle school herd mentality in a world meant for fosse tributes. the spotlight is only on her when she talks about how dim her light feels in comparison to other characters. then mrs george joins in and you get the first female/female duet to rival defying gravity since idk. everything in fun home. i take cash and credit not criticism.

but really the gretchen/mrs george connection is so interesting because they tether themselves to regina in a style that’s irreconcilable with happiness on either end and they know that but possibly for a mix of selfish and sympathetic reasons don’t want to leave in any capacity. the way they’re separated on stage by little more than a change in colored lighting is interesting too and raises the question of whether or not they’re aware that regina’s sun is burning those closest to her in general.

also. can plastic cady snap and yell at me i want to feel something

in conclusion i love you pezberrywhoreee thank you for asking this. i think i said the words “also” and “but” more times than i said the word “gay” and that’s a real hurdle to fly over. i think i expect many random things in your inbox hereafter as retribution/reward depending on how you see it

[elektrischemaidchen]

Lisztober #9: Blind Grief

“Hey, good news, Drosselmeyer has made an 11 minute long weird ballad about Liszt.”

“Oh, COME ON!”

@franzliszt-official : We have TWO songs for you today.

One, from a noble spirit with a sense of beauty, the other is a roast, written by a Maiden without a heart, frivolous and wicked. There's a nice German expression, decribing the latter: What does it matter to the proud oak tree if the bristling cattle rub against it? ;)  I laughed my ass off anyway. For real. Chapeau.

Here we go: A Liszt-(Aleksey Konstantinovich, not Leo) Tolstoy-Ballad! (No translation, this time. Really, that’s too difficult for me and would destroy the beautiful spirit of it. I didn’t find an English translation either, but here’s a link to the whole poem, maybe you will be able to translate the site via Google)

See, even tumblr itself hates it:

If there's one unwritten rule in the Maidchen Fight Club, it's: no song without a twist or a joke. I've already broken this credo 4 times this week alone, mea culpa, I accept my punishment ;)

Enjoy this lovely pasquil, a nasty tribute to our single „Zeitmaschine“:

(So baby, take a time machine now and fly away for a month / You cheeky little bee Stay in the past / until Franz finally crowns you with a laurel wreath She bangs Franz Liszt, Oh yes Oh yes But he doesn’t  hear her plea She bangs Franz Liszt, oh yes We know You have studied/ now give it a rest otherwise our listeners will be all gone in a flash We have to save our honor now And jet to the next destination... Which is not Franz Liszt, oh no oh no Not even as a young gentleman Nor from eighteen-thirty or how old he would have gotten

Franz looks at her and says Praise to my listeners! Leave me here with thanks and we'll leave very quickly She bangs Franz Liszt! And I also greet those who have not heard my song. May only salvation befall them! Long may the prince reign happy and honored! May the people be granted a carefree life And peace to the noble boyars!” [I don't even know what boyars are, Bro])

And now for my defense of the “most boring piece of Maidchen history ever written”, with the “ROFL speech filter” that you “hoped someone would get to the point at minute 5 and would just take pity on the guy and slap him, but then the bullshit went on for another 6 minutes” and whose “last verse is so ironically abt that you could have put it at the very beginning”:

1 The text is not mine, it's Count Tolstoy's. Liszt himself set it to music autobiographically in 1875. And hardly anyone knows it. A pity. This time the song is not based on his notes. More on that below. You can skip it ;)

2 There is no poem that could appeal more to musicians. Because the blind singer is also you, my friend. At least sometimes. Not even our friends and fellow musicians hear this, so why should boyars?

3 I find the poem heartbreaking-beautiful and so sad that I actually shed a tear. I'm a sentimental bitch. Go ahead and laugh!

4 Any shortening would have ruined the story. Especially if it had been cut down to “two verses”. Philistines.

5 The filter is really cringeworthy. Sorry. The time pressure, the time pressure.

6 As for the boyars: Google is your friend, „Bro“

Now to Liszt himself:

I originally wanted to write something about Daniel and Blandine. But that didn't really seem appropriate.

When Franz set “The Blind Singer” by Count Tolstoy to music, he probably didn't know that his eye condition would get worse and worse six years later. Oh, the irony. :( But the text must have spoken to him differently: It also reflects his entire musical life with such bitter sweetness that I was truly awestruck. He, the blind singer, originally called to entertain the nobles at dinner; he, who makes the most beautiful unearthly sounds, doesn't realize that no one is listening to him. And just carries on. Even when he finally realizes that nobody is around anymore, This.

It's a bit like in this place, you see ;)

[raspbeyes]

Idk how hot of a take this is, but i don't really like kokichi's talent. Like ik the whole arguement of "did kokichi lie abt his talent?" has made its rounds around the fandom (i personally dont think it matters whether he lied abt it or not) but i think it shows how unnecessary it is to have kokichi be the supreme leader.

Kokichi is childish and makes frequent mention of the killing game being, well, a game. He mentions video games a few times, and most glaring, he loves to lie. Design wise, his childish appearance is very clear, but his scarf is obviously designed like a chess board. His organization is literally called DICE. Hell, while you can argue he "manipulates" everyone to do his will in ch 4 and 5, nobody liked him well enough to consider him a "leader". He's more a loner rather than leader. A solo player, if you will lol

Literally everything about Kokichi points to him being some kind of Ultimate Chessmaster or Puzzle Expert, something along those lines. And it would completely fit as well. His deductions point to the strategy he would need to win in intellect games like chess or checkers. His lying might be a skill necessary in social games like mafia or card games. His flippant attitude to people (outwardly?) and desire to win makes sense if he's revolved his whole life around defeating his opponents in a game. And it isnt some prestigious position like "strategist", as it still reflects his childish nature.

Hell the only way the dr crew could indicate "supreme leader" in his design is only in his splash art, where they literally try to cover their design up with a hat and cloak to seem convincing.

I get that danganronpa usually likes to subvert their ultimates' personality compared to their talent such as Hiyoko, Gundham, Nagito, Miu, and Tenko to name a few. But Kokichi??? Wow the guy who's been screaming since day one how evil he is ends up seizing control of the killing game im so shocked :000 Like sure he is childish and playful, very unlike a leader, but it's not a significant subversion.

Like it wouldve been more impactful/funnier if the seemingly childish character with a childish talent ended up proclaiming himself as the mastermind.

Tho it can argued it wont be as shocking of a twist when the character who likes winning games ends up proclaiming himself in charge of the killing game. But i think its at least better than the very on the nose supreme leader "talent". Like, to me, it's TOO obvious when kokichi says he's the mastermind that I immediately doubt it. Not to mention that Supreme leader is such a vague talent that aside of kokichi's unconvincing (albeit hilarious) reason of "cuz im evil muahahah very evil trust me" i dont see what more the talent can mean. He wants to rule everything so sure ig he'd wanna rule over this killing game. What else connects to his talent??

At least with a talent like puzzle master or something like that, kokichi taking over can directly correlate with his talent as a motive. Theres more explanation of how games thrill him, and that'd make sense with his talent. He can say how he's tired of playing and finally wants to secure his victory and be the game master. That can double onto his motivation as a life long puzzle solver. It can at least make more logical sense, thus making it slightly more believable that kokichi is really the mastermind, helping the impact when he's revealed as just another player.

There's a little more reverse psychology. It may be obvious he is mastermind material, but there is still room left that he may just be that way due to his talent. When it comes to the Supreme leader talent, it's so vague that there's no room outside of being the mastermind, and honestly, it becomes less of a red arrow and more of an obvious red herring.

Anyway this whole post was me struggling to find another way to not say "ultimate gamer" lol. Aside from chessmaster or puzzle master, i think of much lol. Ultimste Board Game Master lol???

[toxicanonymity]

raider and lincoln x lana

I love getting song comparisons. 🖤 ik there are some i haven't posted bc i don't know them and wanna check them out first to add context like @javier-penas-wifexx420 has done here.

Raider Joel Joel saves you from his men but claims you as his own and takes you with him. Left in Lincoln (dbf x virgin) He's a neighbor your dads trust to look in on you while they seek treatment for Frank.

@javier-penas-wifexx420 asked:

DUDE ok so I remembered what someone said abt what lana songs the jolkemons are. I feel like specifically Raider and Lincoln are so lana coded. Raider is ultraviolence and Lincoln in honeymoon.

I feel like Raider being Ultraviolence is pretty understandable bc of how he his and how he treats the reader. Songs that really remind me of him are

ultraviolence- “he hurt me but it felt like true love.” “Loving him was never enough”

shades of cool- “I can’t fix him, can’t make him better”

Sad girl- “but you haven’t seen my man…he’s got the fire and he walks with it”

Pretty when you cry- OFC RAIDERS DACRYPHILLIA HE THINKS WERE SO PRETTY WHEN WE CRY

old money- “those summer nights seem long ago, so is the girl you used to call the queen of New York City” reminds me of how sweet pea is really disconnected from her old self and her old life, she belongs to Joel now so that’s like her only identity. Sad but also kinda hot🤪

“If you send for me you know I’ll come and if you call for me you know I’ll run.” Sweet pea is at the point where she’ll listen to anything he says and will do whatever he wants, she’ll follow him anywhere and honestly same.

And NOW, Lincoln and honeymoon. I feel like this one isn’t as obvious and some ppl might disagree with me but NO. Lincoln IS honeymoon. Honeymoon is one of Lana’s most treasured albums and if you really listen to it and focus on the subject matter it can be argued that it’s darker than ultraviolence. And while Lincoln Joel seems really sweet and loving, just like how honeymoon comes across, he’s actually really dark and just as dangerous, if not more than Raider. The album honeymoon describes intense and passionate love, kind of IRRATIONAL you could say. The album outlines just wanting to get away with your lover and be together forever *cough lincoln*

I feel like honeymoon displays a sort of desperation and a willingness to do anything one needs in order to be with their lover and I think that’s reflective of both Joel and peaches. Also in the music video for one of the songs on the album lana drinks kool-aid which is a reference to heaven’s gate and i feel like the whole expression of “drinking the kool-aid” is very accurate of left in Lincoln cause peaches is def drinking that fucking kool-aid.

Also honeymoon takes a lot of influence from older music styles, older aesthetics (the art deco aesthetic from the 20s) and in general older references and since Lincoln is almost 60 i feel like it fits him. Honeymoon is rlly jazzy and I’m p sure you said he likes jazz lol. Lana mentions Billie holiday in one of the songs and Joel would def play Billie holiday for peaches.

THE SONGS

honeymoon: “we both know the history of violence that surrounds you, but I’m not scared there’s nothing to lose now that I’ve found you”

Freak: “life makes sense when I’m with you. Looking back my past it all seems stranger than a stranger” THIS IS SO PEACHES BRO LIKE WHAT. Honestly freak is very much a left in Lincoln song. Anyway.

Religion: “you’re my religion, you’re how I’m livin…when I’m down on my knees you’re how I pray” very them, Joel is in charge of everything, peaches answers to him, looks up to him for everything. He’s her whole life now

The blackest day: “ever since my baby went away, it’s been the blackest day”

This song is one of the most left in Lincoln songs, I imagine this part references jessie leaving and her being all alone without him.

“Because I’m going deeper and deeper, darker and darker, harder and harder. Looking for love in all the wrong places.” After she was left in Lincoln™️ she was all alone and things got a lot darker, causing her to look for love anywhere she could find it.

24: “there’s only 24 hours in a day, and half as many ways for you to lie to me my little love” there’s a lot more lyrics in this song that are relevant but I think especially this one because it’s like wtf is Joel doing when he’s not with peaches?? And he’s obviously lying to her and I think she’s started to gain more suspicions (at least I hope so bc homegirl is IN TROUBLE)

Swan song: this one is the second to last song on the album and I think it is very relevant of left in Lincoln. The song basically says that all the two lovers need is each other. If you think about it, Joel just desires an eternal honeymoon with peaches, just the two of them together FOREVER

“Nothing could stop the two of us if that’s what we want, we could just get lost”

I feel like this could even be something Joel says to peaches. Like he’s just like as long as we’re together it doesn’t matter what happens. Also the “if that’s what we want” reminds me of Joel manipulating peaches and tricking her into thinking it’s all what she wants and she has a choice🤩

And I feel like a lot of the songs are very peaches coded: Terrence loves you, god knows I’ve tried, music to watch boys to, don’t let me be misunderstood

ANYWAYYYYY sorry for writing so fucking much I’ve j been thinking abt this for awhile esp the Lincoln honeymoon connection bc it’s so interesting and I love lana and your fics ❤️

-------

Toxic: This is amazing!! Thank you so much for the thoughtful analysis. 🖤 also it is killing me not to spoiler.

[swiftie-as-a-coursing-river]

Hi! Heard you are Nikolai Lantsov's no ! stan. I love that man. What songs do you think would associate with him?

LMAO I LOVE THIS ASK SO MUCH OMG.

I actually have so many I associate with him, it’s a little crazy, but I’ll list some of my top ones (they’re all Taylor swift lmao)

*apologies for how long this is and how bad I am at explaining things LMAOOOO

1. Castles Crumbling by Taylor Swift- I could write PAGES UPON PAGES about this. The whole song is him but that BRIDGE?

“Smoke billows from my ships in the harbor/People look at me like I’m a monster”

TELL ME THAT WASNT WRITTEN ABT HIM?!

2. The Archer by Taylor Swift- Don’t even get me started. I’ve seen so many edits of him to this song (and I made one myself but it’s not on my edits tumblr yet). Once again, the BRIDGE of that song?!

“They see right through me”

“All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put me together again”

“Cause all of my enemies started off friends”

But also a lot of the lyrics outside of the bridge

“I never grew up, it’s getting so old”

“I wake in the night/I pace like a ghost/the room is on fire/invisible smoke”

This song is insanely Nikolai coded.

3. Mirrorball by Taylor Swift- I saw the most insane edit to this months ago that lowkey changed my life. It was to the speech from the long pond studio sessions film where she discusses the song, saying:

“We have mirrorballs in the middle of a dance floor because they reflect light, they are broken a million times and that's what makes them so shiny, we have people like that in society, too. They hang there and every time they break it entertains us. And when you shine a light on them it's this glittering, fantastic thing, but then a lot of the time when the spotlight isn't on them they're just still there on a pedestal but nobody's watching them”

If this is not Nikolai I don’t know what is. Some other lyrics I connect with him are:

“I can change everything about me to fit in”

Really reminds me of how he kinda completely changed himself and his various identities to match what others wanted

“I'm still a believer but I don't know why”

“I’ve never been a natural all I do is try try try”

“I’m still on that trapeze/I’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me”

4. Dear Reader- Taylor Swift

This song has always been a Kaz song for me but is insanely Nikolai.

“Dear Reader, get out your map/pick somewhere and just run”

“Dear Reader, burn all the files/desert all your past lives”

“And if you don’t recognize yourself/that means you did it right”

All of these make me think of how Nikolai grapples with self image and identities throughout the books. The second part makes me think of Sturmhond, the demon, and also lowkey Isaak.

And then the BRIDGE?

“So I wandered through these nights/I prefer hiding in plain sight”

“These desperate prayers of a cursed man”

“You wouldn’t take my word for it if you knew who was talking”

“To a house not a home all alone cause nobody’s there”

“No one sees you lose when you’re playing solitaire”

That’s all I’ll be talking abt for now but there are so many more. Some honorable mentions are:

The Lucky One

The last great American dynasty

You’re on Your Own, Kid

Bejeweled

Anti Hero

epiphany

And so many more. I’ve actually made edits to a lot of these at @to-assess-the-equation-of-you and on tiktok @cassles.dazzles! I could talk about this all day and sorry for how long this was 😭