denybunnyforgood

[denybunnyforgood]

Well shoot! it answered better than mediocre cos it thought of these experiences:

Eating vegan bún riêu after some Muay Thai training has exhausted its muscles and it can feel the food rebuilding its entire body. Especially after stretching! That's always such a good feeling.

Getting a massage when its muscles are sore a day or two after working out at the gym.

Being so incredibly cold and tired and finally getting to just jump into a soft, warm bed and rolling itself in a thick blanket burrito (though as some of its mutuals know, it's unhoused and has been for a seventh of its life so it may not experience this any time soon).

And all of these were so so close but it asked itself if it would give them up if that made it morally okay to orgasm again. And it would!

But then someone brought up: CUDDLING. it wouldn't give up cuddling even if it meant it could go back to cumming multiple times a day the way it used to! So guess there are one or two things better than an orgasm. Hot darn!

For others who've given up cumming for any length of time or who've also given it up permanently:

So tragic autocorrect fucked it over here it can't edit the poll anymore this will bother it forever. Better THAN. THAN.

[denybunnyforgood]

"I can tell it wants to cum. And y'know, I'll let it too, and I'll be very sad to see its life improve after finally getting to enjoy itself for once. No, don't pout, don't worry, there's a way out. Once this goes in its throat, keep its hands behind its back until it goes limp. No don't be afraid, there's a chance it'll live, it's just until it goes limp. If it can do that, I won't let it cum. I'll make sure I get what I want and it doesn't if it just does this for me, I promise."

[denybunnyforgood]

Definitely on the ace spectrum and have noticed that this holy trinity shows up more than you'd expect, and to add something complicated to this, its aegosexuality and traumasexuality have a fairly intimate relationship. And so it experiences a lot of traumasexual pride when it thinks about how successfully it's managed to make sex consistently traumatizing and unenjoyable for itself and only enjoyable for its partners, and that pride bleeds over into its ace pride. Such that whenever it talks about or feels its ace pride it often does end up thinking about its permanent denial (and other things it can't list here).

Isn't it cool how complicated brains can be

The holy trinity of being asexual, denying your orgasms, and wanting to be used like a fleshlight without receiving any form of pleasure

[denybunnyforgood]

Woah one half of those denied have answered they had no rival, that's fucking awesome

For others who've given up cumming for any length of time or who've also given it up permanently:

So tragic autocorrect fucked it over here it can't edit the poll anymore this will bother it forever. Better THAN. THAN.

[denybunnyforgood]

it has experienced maybe parts of this but it's too scared to talk abt it publicly on Tumblr ahaha...anyway happy to take you up on that offer! Maybe one day we'll be in touch :p

This is apropos of nothing but it has looked a lot into like brain scanning tech and it really looks like there's never gonna be a way to clone a brain without destroying it, which is a shame because it promised if there was ever the technology to truly clone itself, it would get that twin sister immediately. Then it would let whoever wants to use it to flip a coin to rape one of us to death in six months.

Some may reveal it right away and indulge in the grateful admiration both it and its clone sister shower them with, trying to fulfill their every dream and fantasy as their prize. One of us for being spared, the other out of awe of encountering a person committed to killing it when we all know it won't be willing when the time comes.

Others may choose to reveal it at the end of the six months, leave the tension in the air, keep the terror rumbling like a deep, spinning core deep below the crust. It also has the benefit that for all we know, they may just lie and say the coin landed one way or another based on how we act, maybe each of us tries to compete to show we're the more snuffable between the two and deserve the privilege of regretting choosing to be snuffed over the other.

In six months, one dies, and the cycle starts again for the rest of its life.

It's not exactly purely a fantasy in the sense that it has promised itself it will follow through if ever this is made possible and it consistently does follow through with its own promises. But it is a fantasy in that that seems super implausible :/ sorry clone sisters!

it thinks there's a bunch of important aspects to this. First there's the anti-suicidist norms you'd have to develop. Even the doomed twin sis will continue to form new bonds and have trauma-informed discussions with her peers on how to handle the upcoming death.

Second, its current self will survive through some causal line of brains, but six month branches growing off its surviving chain of experiences will be chopped off again and again.

That seems cool and rather beautiful.

it's also always thought it would be cool to flip a coin to decide whether it or someone else would have to give up orgasms forever but since it's already done that that fantasy can't be fulfilled. Will have to think of something else it can give up for good to do this with.

this is genuinely beautiful yeah, thank you for sending this :) would certainly love the opportunity to help you snuff out on of your twins if ever given the chance

[denybunnyforgood]

For others who've given up cumming for any length of time or who've also given it up permanently:

So tragic autocorrect fucked it over here it can't edit the poll anymore this will bother it forever. Better THAN. THAN.

[denybunnyforgood]

Guess due to doing MMA for so long and practicing level breathing during sparring its base breath holding has since upgraded to 70 seconds. Yippeeee

Hey, cutie. I wanna see something. Hold your breath.

No, really. If you're seeing this, hold your breath. You can prepare for it. Take a nice, deep breath in, and just hold it. I want you to count how long you can do it, ok?

Good girl. Just keep counting. Once your lungs start to burn, I want you to keep it going. Don't worry, your body probably won't let you make yourself pass out. Just hold it until your brain forces you to take another breath.

You look so cute with your face all red, you know.

Once you've figured out how long you can do it, I want you to press that silly little button below, ok?

Such a good girl! Wasn't that fun? Now, tell me how long you held it.

Very good! That's such a nice, long time. But I think you can do better.

Tomorrow night, I'm giving you a bath. And I'm gonna hold you under for just ten extra seconds. You can go ten tiny little seconds for me, right? Because you're such a good girl?

I knew it. Look forward to it, sweetheart 🩵

[denybunnyforgood]

Oh my fucking God no fucking way multiple of its friends can attest that three years ago, its first exploration of its objecthood literally involved doing this exact thing with a dildo. it held its breath for 46 seconds and then kept a dildo down for 61 seconds, 15 seconds past its limit. If it couldn't do an extra 15 seconds one of its friends promised to ghost it permanently. This isn't exactly the same but it's so damn close. Guess it's a pretty natural idea to come upon (and come to).

Hey, cutie. I wanna see something. Hold your breath.

No, really. If you're seeing this, hold your breath. You can prepare for it. Take a nice, deep breath in, and just hold it. I want you to count how long you can do it, ok?

Good girl. Just keep counting. Once your lungs start to burn, I want you to keep it going. Don't worry, your body probably won't let you make yourself pass out. Just hold it until your brain forces you to take another breath.

You look so cute with your face all red, you know.

Once you've figured out how long you can do it, I want you to press that silly little button below, ok?

Such a good girl! Wasn't that fun? Now, tell me how long you held it.

Very good! That's such a nice, long time. But I think you can do better.

Tomorrow night, I'm giving you a bath. And I'm gonna hold you under for just ten extra seconds. You can go ten tiny little seconds for me, right? Because you're such a good girl?

I knew it. Look forward to it, sweetheart 🩵

[denybunnyforgood]

For that matter, why don't more people do this? What's it doing wrong 😢🤔

me and my friends just went through its blog in our gc and made fun of it to each other. its misery manages to bring more pleasure into the world :)

that's really sweet, hit it with the watchmojo top funniest edgebunny posts some time!

[denybunnyforgood]

pew pew pew! ur saved. Now think carefully before they're back: Is it really betrayal when the body is right?

noncon victims whose bodies betray them save me… save me girls who get so hard it physically hurts even though they don’t actually want it…

[denybunnyforgood]

me and my friends just went through its blog in our gc and made fun of it to each other. its misery manages to bring more pleasure into the world :)

that's really sweet, hit it with the watchmojo top funniest edgebunny posts some time!

[denybunnyforgood]

Oh, right, and Elphelt Valentine soon enough.

its favorite outfits are basically the characters who it can imagine devoted enough to give up enjoying sex ever again for their partner.

lmao the sequence of reblogging maid outfit stuff and don't cum stuff was such a callout because literally something it does before every party is it'll edge and deny itself to prime its mind for receiving behavior that erodes its boundaries well, and then it has two maid outfits every party and it switches from one to the other midway through. the maid outfits literally help it get in the mindset of like handing out drinks, cleaning after people so the host doesn't have to, making sure others are fed before it is (though usually these days covid safe parties involve just taking food prepared by the host home, so the equivalent is just being the last to pick out whichever vegan pasta it'll be taking home lol), etc. the switching out outfits is because it's a total fucking diva

anyway. that sequence was !!! highly relevant !!!

-two- maid outfits? how decadent. i hope those who frequent the same parties as you appreciate how well trained you've clearly become.

also, i feel like being exposed to a cognitohazard that makes you cum would be, for someone bound by lifetime orgasm denial like yourself, tantamount to ruining your life's work. heartbreaking. but potentially very fun for whoever inflicts that upon you, depending on how cruel they are

[denybunnyforgood]

(And for that matter, even if she didn't manage to traumatize it, or didn't find the experience as fun as she's hoped, even then. That we need not have shared that moment of her inflicting upon it some great turmoil and discomfort of any kind, and yet we did, is worthy of celebration. Break the script that deceives us into thinking we must only celebrate the achievement of false ideals. Celebrate every cul-de-sac and river of meaning in every achievement!)

it just appreciates Dommes who are vulnerable and need reassurance so much. Like they don't feel they're very creative with their sadism and it has to promise them that they're enough, that it isn't enjoying itself. Or on the other end of the spectrum, they aren't so sure they should be enjoying the fact that it doesn't like what's happening and it has to hold their hand and kiss them and assure them that it's the most beautiful thing in the world that it wants more than anything for this to stop, and they're having the time of their life.

So many Dommes feel this need to perform this, like, invulnerable ideal, being in complete control over themselves and others, having total introspective mastery of every facet of their interiority.

But what, is every domme supposed to have that potential? Is she supposed to reach it instantly if she does? Does her slave bear no responsibility to meet her needs, as she is, and perhaps as she always will be? And truly, is it so necessary that she follow the societal script that tells her that domination must be proven even if it means violence to herself?

it has been used and violated by many such Dommes. And even now it's sure they think back, feel they didn't do enough, that they could have been more, or they feel shame that they were "carried" by it. That if it was traumatized by the act, it wasn't thanks to them but because it had trained itself to be trauma-prone.

But whatever the reason, it WAS traumatized by what she did to it, wasn't it? it didn't cum while she did, did it? it was left unsatisfied, didn't it? They had fun while it didn't, didn't they?

Isn't that meaningful? That's what it wishes swirled through their heads as we fell asleep in each other's embrace afterwards, that each time it squirmed with discomfort it reminded each of the Dommes who used it to vanquish any thoughts of shame. Isn't that enough, that from each of us was a contribution to a beautiful act according to our ability? Isn't that beautiful?

[denybunnyforgood]

yeah it has the following outfits, one of the few things it's managed to preserve despite becoming unhoused:

Rem with cat ears and handcuffs from Re:Zero (Ram accessories as well)

Chocola from Nekopara

Tohru alt outfit from when she worked at a maid café with cat ears and handcuffs from Kobayashi's Dragon Maid

Ryuko Matoi school outfit with miniskirt with cat ears and handcuffs from Kill La Kill

Ilulu with cat ears and handcuffs from Kobayashi's Dragon Maid

Virgo with cat ears and handcuffs from Fairy Tail

Pyra swimsuit with cat ears and handcuffs from Xenoblade Chronicles

2P with cat ears and handcuffs from Nier: Automata

2B with cat ears and handcuffs from Nier: Automata

Maybe there's one more it's forgetting. But many of these are maid outfits, you'll note.

lmao the sequence of reblogging maid outfit stuff and don't cum stuff was such a callout because literally something it does before every party is it'll edge and deny itself to prime its mind for receiving behavior that erodes its boundaries well, and then it has two maid outfits every party and it switches from one to the other midway through. the maid outfits literally help it get in the mindset of like handing out drinks, cleaning after people so the host doesn't have to, making sure others are fed before it is (though usually these days covid safe parties involve just taking food prepared by the host home, so the equivalent is just being the last to pick out whichever vegan pasta it'll be taking home lol), etc. the switching out outfits is because it's a total fucking diva

anyway. that sequence was !!! highly relevant !!!

-two- maid outfits? how decadent. i hope those who frequent the same parties as you appreciate how well trained you've clearly become.

also, i feel like being exposed to a cognitohazard that makes you cum would be, for someone bound by lifetime orgasm denial like yourself, tantamount to ruining your life's work. heartbreaking. but potentially very fun for whoever inflicts that upon you, depending on how cruel they are

[denybunnyforgood]

it just appreciates Dommes who are vulnerable and need reassurance so much. Like they don't feel they're very creative with their sadism and it has to promise them that they're enough, that it isn't enjoying itself. Or on the other end of the spectrum, they aren't so sure they should be enjoying the fact that it doesn't like what's happening and it has to hold their hand and kiss them and assure them that it's the most beautiful thing in the world that it wants more than anything for this to stop, and they're having the time of their life.

So many Dommes feel this need to perform this, like, invulnerable ideal, being in complete control over themselves and others, having total introspective mastery of every facet of their interiority.

But what, is every domme supposed to have that potential? Is she supposed to reach it instantly if she does? Does her slave bear no responsibility to meet her needs, as she is, and perhaps as she always will be? And truly, is it so necessary that she follow the societal script that tells her that domination must be proven even if it means violence to herself?

it has been used and violated by many such Dommes. And even now it's sure they think back, feel they didn't do enough, that they could have been more, or they feel shame that they were "carried" by it. That if it was traumatized by the act, it wasn't thanks to them but because it had trained itself to be trauma-prone.

But whatever the reason, it WAS traumatized by what she did to it, wasn't it? it didn't cum while she did, did it? it was left unsatisfied, didn't it? They had fun while it didn't, didn't they?

Isn't that meaningful? That's what it wishes swirled through their heads as we fell asleep in each other's embrace afterwards, that each time it squirmed with discomfort it reminded each of the Dommes who used it to vanquish any thoughts of shame. Isn't that enough, that from each of us was a contribution to a beautiful act according to our ability? Isn't that beautiful?

[denybunnyforgood]

Alas @cuntrol-alt-delete that does not always work haha, aside from being permanently denied it also can't be rewarded with cumming because consistent the only thing that encourages it or positively conditions it are usually themselves painful things. So like, a reward for being edged and denied might be being forced to undergo something traumatizing for someone's entertainment. So you can definitely make some addicted to pain via cumming, others you gotta be more creative!

tie me up, throw me on the bed. put a vibe between my legs and put it on the lowest setting. one that barely stimulates my clit, one that more feels like a ghost touch than real vibrations. leave me there, for hours. tell me to enjoy some orgasms, knowing very well the toy won't even allow me to edge. within minutes i am shaking, crying. hot cruel desperation running through my veins. all i can think about is my need to cum as my clit gets barely stimulated. i want to touch, i want to have a cock slammed into my drippy holes. i am horny, sweating, squirming. it's maddening.

when you come back, ask me if i enjoyed having had the last orgasms for this year.

[denybunnyforgood]

its final orgasm over two years ago was something it wrote about at the time.

it's mentioned before that it keeps mementos that remind it what an orgasm feels like so it knows what it's missing.

it has only ever shared this in private, and it was with a toy as a reward for also accepting denial, but it feels better putting it out there now. it just feels like the way it writes to itself in private is really peculiar vs. how it writes for others but idc abt that anymore.

So here's a writing from August 2022, when it made sure it would give up its orgasms forever after a whole day of bringing itself to multiple orgasms:

The plan made sense, when the day began. Cum and remember, forevermore. But the problem soon revealed itself. Today is not a normal day. These cums are not normal cums. They are orgasms set ablaze with layers of grief. it thought it could write down what orgasms in general feel like for it, and remember that. But now all it will have is a record of its last orgasms, experienced with the knowledge that they are some of its last.

Writing this has brought even more into focus. Not so much the physical sensation, but the emotional and ethical facets of its relationship to orgasms and pleasure. Why wait until September like it hoped? it grieved so much today. it's pretty sure orgasms usually started from its lower area and spread throughout its body until a warm ghost flew up through its body. The best orgasms were felt in its tummy. But today, it felt disconnected from those sensations and instead its orgasms began as bitter chocolate in its heart. And now it can see that it has so much reason to break the plan.

If it waits until September, it will be ready. it will process this grief. it will have a few more orgasms. They will be bittersweet. Far sweeter than they are now. Shouldn't it stop now? While it's grieving? Won't it be difficult to find another chance to make itself feel this awful again? Even just typing these words, that bitter chocolate melts into raw ginger, and it hasn't even decided. it hasn't even committed. But that feeling tells it everything it needs to know. it can feel it now. it has committed. Those were its last orgasms. This is what a real orgasm feels like, this is what objects are built for and it wishes it could just let these tears out, but they're being held in for some reason and it hurts so much.

its hands are moving on their own. It doesn't feel real. it will never cum again. On a whim. All of its plans for the next month. Gone. Just like that. it will never cum again. it hopes it internalizes it soon. its new reality. it will never cum again. it wishes it had a fresh memory of what the good ones felt like.