#and it didn't comfort me so i discarded those ideas. but now i dont know what will comfort me

[chuuyasfanboy]

HII!! Could you do one with Dazai, Chuuya and Atsushi reacting to a reader who has one of those SHTWT accounts? It's a kind of strange request, but I've never seen anyone talk about it!!

I actually loved your blog, I'm currently hooked! <3

NOT a weird request at all! I dont have any social medias like this, but I interact with edtwt and have friends with both edtwt's and shtwt's, so I think I'm comfortable enough talking about the issue!

Now this may be very hypocritical of me BUT IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING MENTALLY PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP! Here's a link to a website with hotline numbers! Even if you cant get yourself to stop completely, please at least be save enough to keep living. Love you all mwah<3

https://www.pleaselive.org/hotlines/

Definitely didn't skip a matchup request to write this... Promise I'll get to you soon other person! I've had some ideas in mind heheheh

Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi (Seperate) x shtwt!Reader

Tw: Sh tw, mentions of edtwt in the ooc lol, spoilers dazai totally has a shtwt too</3

Dazai Osamu

Starting off with the worst reaction

Why is he the worst, you ask?

He has one too!

He totally followed you by accident because he just found this all so inspirational. And then you posted a tweet with the same joke you'd made earlier that day.

And oh he knew.

He's mad, but mostly because you never told him you were struggling.

He's the one who's supposed to be masking his emotions, damn it!

(I'm not sure if shtwt is the same way, but i know edtwt is chock full of motivational disgusting food images posting! I'm making those assumptions that its similar lol)

He definitely tries to convince you to get help, and he feels really bad for not actually being that worried.

He trusts you to keep yourself safe enough and so eventually he just gives up on the notion altogether

It doesnt take long for the two of you to be a bit more open with it all

He finally shows you whats under those bandages

It's worse than you think.

You're the one who convinces him to properly treat his cuts, and after enough bothering, you finally let him treat you the same.

Late nights when the two of you cant sleep, and he comes over.

The both of you in each others arms, disinfectant and fresh rolls of bandages discarded on the nightstand

While he may not be the one you go to for support, he definitely wont judge you for anything, not even a bit

And if you do decide to finally get help, he's there to cheer you on

Dont be fooled though, he wont be changing his ways at all

Good luck getting this stinker to find value in himself!

Chuuya Nakahara

He's got the best reaction, by far

He's trying not to judge you, really

It's not something he's ever had to struggle with these things, and the furthest he can really give you is an absurd amount of sympathy

The little experience he does have comes from his years with Dazai in the port mafia, but that was a long time ago and he hasnt had to think of it since

It brings up old memories...

You'd left it open on a private tab one night, and he found it when you asked him to look up something

He's about ready to cry, really, but he's strong

For you

He encourages you to get help, professional help

And if you decline, he doesnt push it much further

Instead, he offers you help directly

He cofiscates your razors the best he can, but he soon finds you manage to get them anyway

So he comprimises

When you forget to clean them, he does it for you

Buys you disinfectant and fresh bandages every time he knows youre running low, keeps your first aid stocked

Things like that

He politely asks to not be shown any fresh wounds, twitter post or not, and does his best not to think about the fact you post these things so openly and he hadn't even known

If you do decide to seek help, he's the most supportive.

He keeps you on your recovery plan, holds you close if you relapse, and never passes a single word of judgement your way

He's here for you, always

Atsushi Nakajima

Akutagawa found it before he did

Atsushi was told, immediately

He PANICS, and as soon as he sees you he pulls you aside

And he just cries into your arms

You're left so confused like?

What????

He understands why you didnt tell him, and he doesnt blame you for it

But he's still pretty upset

Moreso with himself than you

Again, like the other two, you'd been posting pictures of it all online and he had to be told!

He insists you get help, and he wont let up on it

Reminds you every day after a nicely times good morning text

"If you're feeling down make sure you call somebody before you do anything, okay?"

He's practically on his hands and knees begging you to unfollow the shtwt's you've bombarded your feed with

Suddenly he's terrified of looking over your shoulder at your phone, but also so afraid every time he isnt

He's really not good at sorting it out, his brain is scrambled and he's panicked every time he thinks about it

But he really does try hard to stay positive

And while one or two things he says may unintentionally come off as judgement, a good majority of his opinions on the topic is really just trying to get you help

He makes an alt account just to keep tabs on your shtwt

Its really obvious, made a day ago and following only you

You don't tell him that though<3

[aloneelunare]

but sometimes all i want is to be held. i want to feel wanted. to be needed. i just felt used and then discarded. every single time it's like i am trying to win. what even is the fucking prize? "if i get his attention it will mean that i am worthy" and i don't even want him. i want the control. i want to be the one who rules all over them. i want to make them mine just to feel something. because it's not love. it's just lust. i do like you a bit and that pisses me off. because it's a bad idea. it's a play that i have already starred in before. it's a war that leaves me bloody and dismembered every time i lose it. i try so hard to keep it cool. i never realized that you were a version of him. until now. since i already know how the script goes i tell myself that i am in control this time. they won't get me. i won't lose my mind. i will chop my head and rip my heart out before i let you in. so close. but it won't happen and we both know it. forgive me. i am so glad we had the exact conversation that i had in my head with you once. but i wanted to be the one laying out the rules. it is my game. i don't want to lose. but the only reason i would ever want you is so i can win. and when i win everything will be revealed. all the pain, all those tears, worth it. because i wanted the earlier version of you too. all of them, i wanted them so bad. maybe i wanted some of them more, but i wanted them to be mine. but i am playing all by myself. you don't even realize it. why would you? fool. stupid. "it's okay, i understand it". that's why i don't talk to you. i am so glad things are working out for you. i dont' want a piece of that. it would be horrible for me mostly. but could you be a bit more tender? could you be a bit more soft with me? "i tried to make you comfortable" no you didn't. you left. you have held me before. don't understand the fuzz now. i should have stopped talking to you after that week. as much as i try to recreate it, it will never be the same. what a shame. but i feel bad because at the end of the day it's not you, it's him. i try to feel him in your embrace. i wanna feel his hands again. i wanna be loved by him. it's him that i'm looking for within you. it's him in all of them. i have tried for a whole year to feel him. none of them are him. still can't forget the way he held me. but was that even real? maybe i am wrong. maybe i remember the way i wanted things to be. but i am not so sure anymore. maybe that will the last time we see each other. it makes me sad, actually. but you have always been nothing but a distraction. you were there to prove me to myself that i still had it. you were there when i wanted to be bad. i wanted to eat someone else but instead i ended up biting you. you never tasted quite right. you always made me want more. my apettite it's way bigger and richer than yours. you will never understand it. i only write when i can't speak. and now that i am finally writing to you just makes me realize that i should stop before i get hurt. because i am the one who always gets hurt. none of them even cared for me. but in the meantime, if i ever see you again, could you be a bit more tender?

[fanmoose12]

I dont know if you still do some commission prompt ideas.. but reee I have an spicy levihan prompt idea and since you are the best levihan writter I've ever found I want to share it with you!

prompt idea: It's a very hot day at survey corps. Levi and Hange work in the office doing paperwork, Hange takes off her shirt from the heat leaving only a black crop top that covers just her breasts, and very short pants. This annoys Levi and tells her to put her shirt back on, but Hange doesnt give a sh*t as she says she doesn't have many features to show so it doesnt matter. Levi thinks otherwise, and feels like an idiot for thinking that way towards his partner... but who couldn't take their eyes off those thighs and those hips?

Who wouldn't be able to think dirty if he has a sweaty Hanji in front of him giving her the sun's rays right on her face and sitting with her legs spread in such a sexy way...

Maybe the summer heat isn't what's making him hot right now...

yoooooo the prompt is so good? made me feel so hot despite the cold spring weather😳

(not actual smut bc i'm too weak to write but... as close to nsfw as i can get lmao)

It was a long day. It was a hot day, one that Levi had to spend barricaded inside his office with a giant pile of paperwork looming over him.

What made it even more unbearable was the presence of the Scout's biggest weirdo and Levi's very own best friend, Hange Zoe. She sat right beside him, just a little too close for his comfort, and was writing relentlessly, her elbow scraping against his time and time again.

The constant intrusion into his personal space made him grit his teeth, but for the sake of maintaining the fragile peace and what little composure he still had, he kept his mouth shut and continued dealing with his own share of work in hopes that it would end his torture sooner.

He wrote, wrote, wrote; the letters started to swim before his eyes, and his thoughts turned into cotton, making him slow and sluggish.

He deserved a little break, Levi decided at last, and when he lifted his head, he found that he was not the only one who fell under the influence of heat and monotonous work.

Catching his gaze, Hange flashed him a smile. She stood up, took off her jacket, discarding it on a sofa in the corner of the room, and walked up to the sink. Levi watched, expecting Hange to pour herself a glass of water or spill some on her face. Instead, she got her head under the faucet and turned the water on, wetting her hair.

"Oi, four-eyes!" he exclaimed, raising from his seat. "The fuck you're doing?"

"You look like a dirty dog," he told her, hoping that his crude words would put Hange to shame. Of course, it didn't, only made her laugh. Levi cursed his naivety.

"It's so damn hot!" Hange whined, as she emerged from under the sink, hair wet and in disarray.

He started cursing everything else - every decision, every moment of his life that had led him to this day and to this room and to Hange - a second later, when she poured a glass of water- and splashed it all over her yellow shirt.

The wet fabric got transparent almost immediately, and now clung to Hange's body like a second skin, accentuating every curve and swell. As he watched a drop of water travel down from her cheek to her neck and then dip between her breasts, Levi's own throat became dry in record time.

And then, the impossible, incredibly arousing prick had the gall to smile and wink at him, "Hey, Captain? Fancy a glass of water?"

If only Hange knew just how he thirsty he was, enough that he was ready to lick the water from her skin.

He could imagine it so vividly - pressing his mouth to her neck and then making a wet trail starting from her collarbone and ending at the jaw. He shivered, both disgusted by his thoughts and horrified at the effect Hange had on him.

The summer heat was getting to him, it was obvious. There was no other way to explain his sudden dizziness and unexpected tightness in his pants.

Levi swallowed and plopped back into the chair, hiding the unfortunate reaction of his body from the view.

Hange sauntered back to her seat a moment later, and Levi - oh, how optimistic he could be sometimes - decided that this particular torture was already over, and Hange turned back to being Hange, a weirdo, a pain in the ass and best friend, who was exactly that - a friend. Not- not someone he wished to fuck like there was no tomorrow.

It was just summer heat, and it was turning him a little crazy. He'd laugh about it when the day was over and everything returned to the way it always was. The itch beneath his skin would vanish like it was never there in the first place. He'd once again would be able to look at Hange and there would be no desire to rip her clothes off.

It was just a summer heat, those weird feelings would disappear along with it.

---

For the next few hours, it seemed like everything indeed was coming back to its orbit. As Levi kept his eyes strictly fixed on a piece paper in front of him, the only feelings four-eyes provoked in him was slight irritation at her constant huffing and confusion at her unintelligible murmuring.

So his bewildering reaction to Hange was truly nothing, just a short-lived clouding of mind. Levi was relieved.

But not for long.

Levi snatched one of the papers he had ruined by making a mistake and took it in his hands, forming a small ball that would soon be thrown at Hange's messy mop of hair.

When the clock hand reached mid-day, Hange let out a long and loud groan. "This heat is killing me!" she cried out. "I feel like my skin is melting, I can't take it anymore!"

He raised his hand and shifted in his seat, taking aim. He froze and faltered as soon as Hange appeared in his line of sight.

She was... taking off her clothes. Already out of her pants, she was doing a quick work of her shirt.

Levi stared, his mouth watering.

"Sorry, Levi," she said upon noticing his gaze, and completely misinterpreting it. "I know it's inappropriate and blah, blah, blah but it's so hot that I can't even think straight."

Yeah, Levi shared the sentiment, he too couldn't quite think straight. The only thing that was on his mind was Hange, the patches of naked skin she kept unravelling and the overwhelming desire to touch her - with his hands, his lips and teeth.

"Four-eyes," his voice was hoarse, too quiet, too restrained. Levi called upon every bit if will that he had to stop himself from devouring his friend. "Put your clothes back on. It's fucking -" distracting, "disgusting."

"Yeah, yeah, we all know how awful I am." Yes, she was awful indeed, torturing Levi like that and having not a single clue of the effect she had on him. "If it makes you feel better, I can close the door, so some poor cadet wouldn't walk in here and get a stroke from witnessing how terribly gross I am."

Without waiting for his answer - not that Levi could really give it, certainly not in the state that he was in - she went to the door to lock it.

He watched her - the subtle sway of her hips, the strong muscles of her back; if before his throat was dry, now he was salivating.

He didn't think, felt like he was put under some spell, one that stopped him from being rational, cool-headed. It was just summer heat, he came up with a weak reasoning, as to why he rose to his feet and his legs started moving, approaching Hange.

She didn't see notice him, fumbling with the lock, until he was standing right behind her.

The sound of lock coming into place seemed thunderous, but Levi didn't let silence linger for too long, and wrapped an arm around Hange's sweaty, naked and pleasantly cold waist. His lips hovered above her right shoulder. Before he pressed them to her skin, he pleaded, "Please, stop me."

But Hange didn't.

The kiss was scorching hot, worse and so much better than the heat, Levi relished in it. He picked Hange up, let her wrap legs around him and, without breaking the kiss, carried her back to the table.

With a shocking fierceness and readiness, she turned around and pulled him into a kiss.

"The paperwork!" she screeched, before Levi lowered her down.

"Fuck the paperwork," he growled, holding Hange to him with one arm and using another to throw away everything that was on the damn table. "Fuck the heat," he continued, as he sat her down and pushed on her sternum, making her lie down. He started at her navel and went up from there, peppering the skin of her abdomen with wet kisses. "And fuck..."

"Me?" Hange asked breathlessly, hope transparent. She pushed herself upright once more, hands quick, insistent and extremely efficient in pulling off his jacket, then his shirt.

She was fighting with his zipper, obviously losing, when Levi took her hands in his, guided them behind her back and skimmed out of his pants himself. Hange's whistled lowly, clearly apreciating every bit of view before her.

"Big where it matters, Levi?"

Hange shivered, her anticipation palpable. Levi smirked, before proceeding to pull the panties off her.

The joke was awful, embarrassing, it made the tips of his ears burn. Levi quickly distracted Hange from it by creating a new trail of kisses, the one that now started from the place where her top ended and trailed down her stomach, stopping a little below her panties.

"You were saying something about me fucking you?"

She nodded, eagerly, and that long, hot day Levi found a new way to battle off the heat.

[ottitty]

idk if I'm gonna see the answer to this one, but I've been having a bit of a prolonged gender crisis lately. I've identified as butch for a long time but something still didn't feel right. then I slowly came to terms with my evident gender dysphoria and began identifying as non-binary (on the androgynous side) since more or less 3-4 years. now I've began to see signs for me being actually on the masc side, and potentially a guy, and it just stresses me out a bit. my lesbianism is also really important to me and part of the reason I didn't step into boy territory but now I may no longer be attracted to girls (as in aspec) so like?! it's crazy out here. I ask myself if I'd be happier as a guy, and it feels like the only way to find out is to try (that's how I found out I'm nb!), but I unfortunately no longer have the safe space to do so. I'm kind of just, idling, introspecting, and waiting for me to have a new safe space where I can explore this new possibility. I feel like something that throws me off however is that I somehow landed in a part of the trans community that isn't necessarily anti gnc, but is like, "if you want to express in a more masculine way that means you're a guy and should transition" and I'm like ohhhhh shit. but then I go into the butch tag and it's like Ah. Wait. I'm already among my people. But it doesn't feel right to completely discard the idea of be being a guy either, y'know? I don't want to bury a potential part of myself. Besides, I'm starting to feel reeeeeaaaaally disconnected from womanhood and women in general, so like. :[] TL;DR: not sure if I'm nb or a trans guy. my lesbianism plays into this mess. oh dear.

So, first of all, congrats on making those first steps into figuring things out. Its really, really hard, I get it.

If you dont mind me giving a little anecdote and advice-

Before I realized I was Not A Woman, I didn't have the same language of like... butch and everything? And the same community, but I identified as a lesbian, had come out and everything, but then when I realized I wasnt a woman went "oh god wait. But im a lesbian. Its what I identify as."

I'm not a lesbian. I'm an aroace nonbinary guy, but it kind of helped to realize that there's no set "rules" for gender. You can be nonbinary and a lesbian, you can be masc and not transition, you can be aspec and lesbian, hell.

You also don't have to know who you are right off the bat. If you realize this leads to something, cool! If you realize you're a cis woman and/or lesbian after all? Thats super valid! Reguardless of where you end up, its perfectly fine and healthy to explore, just make sure you're doing it in a place thats safe and comfortable for you!

Either way, kind of learning how to embrace all sides of you, rather than what you think it should be, can really help and may bring out things you don't expect. Like you said, no way to know until you try.

You don't have to "stay within the lines"- you can express yourself masculine as hell or go on the complete opposite spectrum. You can make accounts trying out new pronouns/names (a thing people will sometimes do on tumblr is a "pronoun dressing room" where you ask someone "hey, can you use x name with y pronouns" and see how it fits! - edit: found this website, if you're interested!), reach out to other trans men and women and nonbinary people alike, whatever helps! Honestly, I used to write self inserts where I was a guy or nonbinary, as well as draw it.

-

Also the whole "if you want to express in a more masculine way, then you should transition" bit-

That kills me a bit, tbh. I used to be in those spaces and... god, they can turn toxic sometimes. I mean, they're often well-intentioned, dont get me wrong, but two things: 1) gender expression and gender identity are two different things, 2) you're the only one who gets to figure out what those Feelings and that sense of gender means for you.

Getting into these communities is definitely intimidating, at first. Theres a part of it where you have to learn what you value and what you believe, and then figure out how to kind of filter out the bullshit from there. There's all sorts of people, and not everyone you're going to agree with, but thats okay!

If you can't find a community that supports you, I highly recommend making one of your own! Reach out through a post, or maybe even see if theres butches out there who are dysphoric and/or exploring some of the similar gender shit you are.

I honestly don't know what you've got going on personally, but the anonyminity Tumblr offers can be nice for this reason, if you've got struggles in real life.

-

Gender stuff is... a mess, tbh. It's hard shit to figure out, and for some it's a lifelong journey, others they kinda know it right away. Whatever that ends up for you, thats okay! It's part of being a human being- change and growth.

I hope you can find some peace with it, though! Especially the dysphoria, it's really hard shit to deal with sometimes.