#and is scared if he goes too far away cazador will get him

[jacqcrisis]

*sweating* okay I'll talk about one bg3 AU idea with Ronan. It's is a pre-game, no Absolute one where Astarion devises a method of escape from Cazador on his own. He's been let off a lease just a slight amount due to Cazador's planning for the upcoming ritual so he gathers a few necessary items in secret, most notably a extra strong charm potion and a rod of teleportation that'll take him to a predetermined place hundreds of miles from Baldurs Gate.

It takes the right night, but at one of Cazador's balls, Astarion manages to charm another full vampire into giving up their blood, freeing him of his spawn status. This reprieve last only for a moment as Cazador realizes what has happened immediately and tries to capture his ex spawn. In the scuffle, Astarion turns into a bat for the first time, gets greviously wounded, but manages to activate the rod and get outta dodge as he is transported across the continent in a terrible state, but free nonetheless.

On a dark, lonely dirt path up the mountains with a horse the size of a small house, Ronan makes his way back to the temple of Bahamut he calls home, eager to get back to his bed and the temple's cats after a few weeks of being out in the local villages on cleric duty. As he gets closer, a strange rustling in a bush alerts him to a severely injured bat struggling to fly or even walk. One of its wings is torn to shreds and it's got a gash down the side of it and predictably it screeches at Ronan as he picks it up.

Curiously, his usual healing capabilities do nothing for the poor thing, and, unable to just leave the critter to die a slow death, the dragonborn bundles it up in his robes and hurries on home to care for it. He cleans it, patches up what he can, feeds the thing some of his own blood, and makes a little nest for it in his drawer, determined to see it better. At no point, does he suspect anything is off about this stressed, oddly white bat.

When finally left alone as the sun is beginning to come up in the relatively safety of a claustrophobic yet cozy bedside drawer, Astarion realizes three things. 1) Cazador did something to his natural regeneration as his wounds are not healing as swift as they should. 2) He also did something to Astarion's ability to shift back into a person, leaving his stuck in this small, animalistic form for gods only know how long. 3) He went from the hell that was Cazador's palace to now being neck deep in clerics, priests, and paladins for a justice and good aligned god who would no doubt stamp his little bat head flat if they figured out what he was.

And now he's stuck here until at the very least he can fly again. With this weird over-grown salamander. Astarion, of course, hates this.

Lucky for him, Ronan is a good caretaker. He never opens the drawer until well after nightfall, having his own late night schedule. He feeds his bat both blood let from the goats and pigs around the temple and his own. He keeps the bat's injuries clean and well bandaged and keeps the temple's cats away from it. He does his nightly duties with the bat tucked into his robes so it can get outside, and cares not if the critter scurries around his face or hangs off his horns and spikes, seemingly enamored with this new little animal in his life.

This goes on for a few weeks, and when Astarion is fully healed and whatever suppressive magic that kept him in that form wears off, he is free to fly away. And he does, spending that first night hunting his own food in his actual body and feeling like an entirely new person. But then he comes back to the temple, flaps back into his drawer as a bat to snooze the day away.

After everything he's been through, all the trials, all the torture, all the abuse, all the starvation, being in a place that is safe and warm where blood is easy to acquire and he is protected from his master who is no doubt still looking for him... well, it's a difficult thing to leave. And Ronan seemed delighted when his bat sailed back through his window at dawn to scrabble back into his drawer nest. Astarion has had a difficult life, and this is like a vacation, with the trade off being a bat.

He'll leave... eventually. Maybe next week. When he has a plan and a direction to go in and the novelty of having his wings spread out on the dragonborn's warm chest as Ronan reads aloud and scratches behind his ears wears off.

There's a lot more. Like so much. Obviously. Astarion develops a little crush on Ronan eventually, accidentally reveals himself, shenanigans ensue, vampires are annoying to clerics who are very conflicted their pet bat is a hot vampire elf, spawn and werewolves come looking for Astarion, love is fallen into despite both parties reluctance, there a couple of nights of 'accidental passion', and in the end Ronan convinces the silver dragon who is the defacto lead priest of the temple that there's a great injustice happening in Baldur’s Gate in the form of a big ole nest of vampires that they need to clear out. And Ronan and Astarion finally admit to being in love and they go off together to find a sun allergy cure.

Anyways. I like it a lot. It's cozy and sweet and stupidly drawn out like 70% of the stuff I like to write.

[delta-lethonomia]

7, 8, 24

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Ooof. Boring answer, but Halsin. I don't find him attractive in the slightest and all the horniness & projection onto his character really annoys me. See last post for far too much ranting about him haha

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Karlach!!! Karlach is not some sweet uwu cinnamon bun golden retriever! She enjoys violence, and is a great deal more morally grey than people make her out to be. When Elturel fell into Avernus, she did precisely jack-shit to help anyone, and admits she could have. She worked for an arms dealer in her youth and gave precisely zero fucks about the morality behind it. She uses soul coins despite knowing that those are people's souls she's burning through; Karlach can absolutely rationalize her way through a lot of shitty things. She has her limits - she leaves if you kill the Tieflings - but she participates all the same by your side for the duration of the fight. She only leaves afterwards, and doesn't even say anything about it: her speech is more about how you've got a difference in opinion, and she's getting out. That's not some harsh moral judgement there.

Basically, in any other life, Karlach would be generic thug #24 who's great fun at the bar, but she'll still beat the shit out of anyone you point her towards, will defend your drug shipment, and will only bounce if you go so far as human trafficking/slave trade. She cares, but she's not moved by other's plights so far as to risk her own neck.

Quite frankly, she's also got anger issues: if I knew Karlach irl, I'd keep my distance, because the whole whole "burning down the building" post paladins would have scared the shit out of me. I don't think Karlach would ever intentionally hurt her partner, but if you're both the type to tousle, she'd go for it, and if you're not… well, it wouldn't surprise me if she someday throws something a few feet away from your head if upset enough.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

The two options: Emperor good? Ascended Astarion bad? I'm completely bored of both of them.

Yes, Emperor is a manipulative prick who is ultimately sympathetic and who plays the player like a harp, and yes, ascending Astarion is horrible for him psychologically, though I don't think he goes full Cazador-lite monster anytime soon. Calling him "just like Cazador" immediately afterwards is a dick move and I completely get why he's pissed at that. Being his spawn for a few years might even be pleasant until you start realizing all the things you can no longer do, and how your relationship has degraded over time. (Don't worry, he'll have his own unique flavor of emotional abuse ironed out soon enough 😉)