#and increased ring slots bc i like rings

[captn-lovelace]

this stardew update is the most lovingly crafted update yet. i’m only on summer day 10 so i haven’t seen everything yet, but i have 1k+ hours total in this game and these updates are everything i ever wanted. i mean even just the journal icon showing you a running count of stones/wood/enemies you’ve collected/defeated WITHOUT opening the journal??? wow. the freakin iridium scythe that harvests crops???? FINALLY a sonar bobber? better bait options?!?

like any non-aesthetic mod i’ve ever had has basically been replaced by this update

[daddyhausen]

• kinktober day eleven : thigh fucking — kenny omega •

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{ masterlists } | { kinktober 2023 }

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{ commission info } | { like my work? buy me a coffee — kofi — dxddyhxusen }

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{ summary } — he was needy and your ring gear was far too intricate to take off at this moment, so he decided to improvise

{ warnings } — 18 + { minors do not interact } public sex thigh fucking, quickies, groping male orgasm, cumshots

{ word count } — 500

{ pairing } — fem!reader x kenny omega

{ genre } — smut

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{ taglist } — @cosmoholic13 @thewrestlingbitch @omg-im-such-a-masochist @adamjf @wardlow @alexisquinnlee-bc @sammiejane22 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @omegasluvbot @melissahausen @writtingrose @drummergrl1310 @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @bonehead-playz @cherrytheeredheadmamaclaymore @crowleysqueenofhell @romanreigns-supreme @janetreader @thenerdybaker523 @sunshinevirus @nicoleveno14 @rubyred1980 @elsteenerico @igncrxntripley @ripleyswhore @embermdk @thepalaceofmelanie @violetmacher @seeingstarks @kennysbadkitten @darkangelchronicles @ripleyswife @selena-tyler-564

{ beta readers } — @allelitesmut + @legit9thlunaticwarrior

{ comment if you want to be added to the taglist }

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kenny’s hands roamed your body feverishly

in such desperate need for your touch

his tongue traced shapes in the column of your throat

following by placing soft kisses to the skin.

“kenny…we can’t your match is next”

you whimpered through a moan

eyes peering to the locker room door every so often

not wanting the bucks to come crashing in without so much as a warning of what they would have witnessed

“that hasn’t stopped us before, princess”

kenny continued to trail kisses across the circumference of your neck

teeth gently nipping at your collar bone

“you know the effect you have on me baby”

he slowly began to grind his hard cock against your ass

hand reaching for the straps of your ring gear

“oh no you don’t. do you know how long it took me to get into this thing?”

you mentioned to your new ensumble

the outfit was a vinyl- like bodysuit, cropped at the hips, displaying your gorgeous legs and just a peak of your ass

the sleeves were long, stopping at your wrists and a cutout at the front

revealing just enough cleavage to distract any opponent without the risk of a wardrobe malfunction

it was skin tight, clinging to your figure perfectly

you could see why kenny had become so insatiable

you looked stunning

“guess we’ll have to compromise then”

kenny smirked against your skin, still holding you close to his chest

his hand coming up to grip your chest, squeezing the soft mounds tightly in his palm

you whined at the sensation

kenny was quick with his movements

freeing his cock from his ring gear

a soft groan left his lips as the appendage was released from the material

he spread your legs slightly, slotting his cock in between your thighs

beginning to move at a rapid pace

the tip of his cock grinding against your clothed cunt

feeling a pool of wetness grow in the thong-panties you’d been wearing

“kenny…” you whimpered softly, hips swirling with the movements of his thrusts

“shit…just stay still princess”

kenny held a death grip on your thighs

his hips rocking back and forth against yours in quick succession

you peered down

loving the way his tip would emerge and then disappear between your thighs

“fuckfuckfuck” his groaned deep into your ear

his body on the verge of release

“if you ruin my new ring gear i will kill you-“ you mentioned in between breathless moans, feeling his cock throb between your thighs

kenny gave a small chuckle in response

“don’t worry baby, i won’t”

he placed a small kiss to your cheek increasing the speed of his thrusts

“oh shit-“ he grunted, his hot seed coating your thighs as he came

warmth spread throughout his body with release, instantly relaxing into you

you quickly pulled away from him, turning to face him

stuffing his cock back into his ring gear

the appendage still throbbing

“babe, you might wanna hurry. i think they’re playing your music”

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[beesmygod]

Elden ring tips!

- have fun and be yourself :)

- the number of spell slots you get is determined by how many memory stones you get. The mind stat only affects fp amount.

-stats soft cap at 25 and 50. 60 vigor is a good amount for the dlc areas.

- horse :)

- horse good at cheesing things because you can just hit and run/circle strafe. It doesnt matter if you're over your equip weight when on horse, and lots of spells and incantations can be cast on horseback. Glintstone pebble can carry a caster the whole game if they want.

- you can buy smithing materials once you get specific bell-bearings, a key item (they also drop when you kill a merchant so you don't lose out on their inventory at time of killing said merchant) however there is a limited number of final tier upgrade materials in the game. There are also red marks on the map denoting caves/mines, and those tend to have a lot of smithing materials.

- upgrading shields usually just increases their damage if you hit someone with them and their guard boost (i.e. the amount of stamina blocking a hit takes).

- get 12 faith (or just find and get the faith boosting talisman) so you can use some of the really handy utility spells like flame cleanse me and bestial constitution. Most healing and utility spells don't scale depending on your stats or upgrade level, and flame cleanse me is fantastic when you get to the poison swamp areas. Also there's holy seals that don't have any weight so it's easy to include them in a build.

- expected progression seems to be limgrave, liurnia, then caelid.

- in classic fromsoft fashion, all the side quests are super easy to mess up. At least the wiki is pretty good

Have fun!

-hold on are you supposed to level vigor. i usually push it to 15-20 and leave it there

-i keep forgetting about pony....ive just been running everywhere like a schlub

-ty for the help with bells and shit bc it IS a little obtuse

[bunnyboy-juice]

cupcake, warm milk, pillow, pastel, soft fur, meow !!

Cupcake - Do you have a comfort food? If so, what is it?

OH YEAH- my comfort food is quite literally kung pao chicken (no green peppers, add broccoli) from the Chinese food place down the street from us. they literally know my wife (tho they think she's me bc i always order) bc i am spoiled (read: they are VERY affordable) and xe will pick it up for me basically whenever im having a bad day and we have takeout money available and it never fails to make me 300% happier until i finish the leftovers

Warm milk - What is something that makes you feel comfortable?

my headphones c: they are over the ear and noise cancelling, i wear them 90% of the time i am not at home, and in general if im having discomfort but idk why I'm usually reaching for those first

Pillow - What are five (or more) things that make you happy?

non-living things/experiences only for this (bc if not my wife, cats, and closest friends take up slots 1-8 easy): the leather cock ring my wife tried buying that fits my wrist better (its really fun to clicky clicky and also is a cute bracelet and also makes me blush knowing what it was supposed to be for), seeing children expressing themselves through their clothing in public (UGH 🥰💞), seeing people with their friends/lovers and being able to tell from the laughter/loving touch that they're in their own little world together, movie nights at home (or at least somewhere i feel safe to unmask), CHICKEN SPAGHETTI THE WAY MY AMMA (mom) MADE IT, basically Any food but esp soup from my mami (grandmother), ummmmmm g-d this list could go for a really long time tbh so I'm gonna cap it but tbh a lot of things make me happy also, its not a very hard feeling to make happen for me

Pastel - What is your favorite color?

😭 g-d okay i had to use a color picker bc i wanted to give a very accurate representation of the orangey yellows and purpley pinks i like so oranges/yellows: dd9220 ffbe67 f2b40b pinks/purples: cfb5d2 ff4fd3 a8548f

Soft fur - How are you feeling right now?

honestly could be better, this morning was weird and now im itchy bc my skin is dry from the cold but im also leaving work rn so my mood will Definitely increase for sure in the next hour once im home

Meow - Share a random fact about yourself, please

ohhhh ummmm let see.....OH I have photos of my uterus in a folder somewhere because when i was 17 i had to have emergency surgery bc of a ruptured cyst and even though all i remember is Immense pain, i was apparently sobbing begging them to take pictures of my insides while they were trying to put me under for the surgery. i did this AGAIN when i was 18 and had to have my appendix removed (again, emergent surgery), and they did give me the photos but i lost those when moving

[paladinbaby]

2, 13, 40 for nettle my friend nettle?

2 - what was the original concept for this character? how did playing them change that concept?

in my very first notes nettle was actively studying magic and had grown up with it which I think was the biggest change between then and now. on a more table level though she was originally far far more of a bitch than she ended up being. part of that was bc i would have felt bad going in swinging and part of that is her character ended up a lot more pathetic (affectionate) than her original concept. like her being so so sad feels like a nicer balance against her being actually quite powerful than her being an asshole would’ve been.

13 - what are some motifs you associate with them?did you intentionally bring in these motifs or did it happen over time?

i think my original motifs in her design were her satchel, yellow flowers and then her open envelope tattoo. the bag has stuck the most out of those and i think with it the idea that all her potions are in like reused bottles and thermoses and there are just knives in there and individual teabags and crumpled receipts. i think one that’s developed more naturally is her glowing eyes, because she’s a scourge aasimar but she doesn’t know it and the party are far more accepting of the information than she is. she’s also about to get a gun and im using renaissance pistol stats which aesthetically is also a fun image of her using this historical weapon.

40. if you had to remake this character right now, how would you change them?

putting this one under a cut bc it’s long. it’s fun you ask this one bc we did have the opportunity to completely rebuild a few sessions back and I didn’t change much but I did write up what I did and then not post it so I’m copying it in here

Nettle is a scourge aasimar with five levels of alchemist artificer and one level of wild magic sorcerer and she can best be described as freakishly functional, in part because i rolled insane base stats for her. I also couldn’t change too much about her without changing kind of core parts of her character but a lot has happened to her in the past few sessions and i wanted her sheet to reflect that

Spells

For the most part i didn't need to change her spells or cantrips but i took shield as one of her sorcerer spells and realised in vampire fight that i was never going to choose to use a spell slot on it. Instead i replaced it with silvery barbs to keep the ability to have a reaction spell, but this one is more in keeping with her character and i think would be more fun to use

Abilities

This is much more a narrative change than mechanically needed change but i added luka nightmare mechanic to her. Simply her life has gone so off the rails so fast

Weapon

Artificers have optional firearm proficiency and i’d kind of avoided it because i wasn’t sure if it would fit with her character. However i think in hindsight taking a bow as part of her core kit made even less sense and didn't feel as useful so she has a gun now <3

Plans

I’m not going to keep using homunculus servant because i found it too much extra to keep track of for not enough pay off over the course of the fight. Im also going to ask to go to the armory in the training session to get mail armour to boost her ac a little.

Finally I decided I wanted to stick with alchemist long term/ not take any more levels of sorcerer, especially because the spell refuel ring infusion gives her pretty much the same increase in spell slots as an extra level of sorcerer would, she can get an infusion for her gun and it’s one step closer to more cool artificer abilities.

[glitchydyke]

what if. celeskuro pre killing game hcs <3 bc i will make content for them my damn self if i have to

• celeste takes an interest in mukuro from their very first day at hope’s peak

• she isn’t sure why - their class, hell, the whole school is filled with pretty girls - so what’s this connection she feels with mukuro?

• seriously? standoffish, obedient, quiet mukuro?

• it drives her insane for longer than she’d like to admit

• until one day, someone from an older class is giving chihiro a hard time, and mukuro breaks from junko’s side to take him down in a matter of seconds

• and it’s there, with mukuro standing proud like a superhero, with chihiro holding back tears and clinging onto her waist, with mukuro stroking one hand comfortingly down chihiro’s back, that celeste has her italicised oh moment

• celeste immediately resolves to ask her out

• and so one day after classes, she all but corners her with an invitation to tea

• mukuro looks… kind of like a deer in headlights, and celeste can’t help but find it anything less than adorable

• she waits patiently as mukuro looks to junko for permission, and is subsequently met with a harsh shove and an annoyed “whatever, i don’t care what you do”

• celeste supposes that’s as good of an answer as she’s going to get

• so she takes mukuro by the hand (a little forward, maybe, but this is important, so screw it) and leads her to the cafeteria

• it takes a single snap of her fingers to get hifumi to set down the rest of the food he’d been plating for them and make himself scarce

• (celeste briefly wonders if mukuro would approve of her blackmailing hifumi into setting this up. probably, honestly)

• it takes a second for mukuro to register her surroundings, but with a few quick blinks she steps forward and pulls out a chair for celeste

• it’s more than a little clumsy, but celeste appreciates the effort - this isn’t mukuro’s usual scene, and her attempts at being proper are incredibly endearing

• it quickly becomes clear, however, that that’s where mukuro’s knowledge of being proper ends

• mukuro’s tea cup comes close to being smashed multiple times with the way she sets it down, and the way she eats isn’t as dainty as celeste’s small bites

• celeste smiles. again, endearing

• tea ends fairly quickly, but celeste supposes she can’t blame mukuro for wanting to get it over with - judging by the flickering of her eyes, she’s clearly trying to hide her confusion and, dare celeste say it, embarrassment

• still, celeste thanks her, tells her that her company was enjoyable, and they go their separate ways

• there’s a knock on celeste’s door the next morning. her alarm reads 06:00, and it takes all of her willpower to pry herself out from under the covers

• opening the door (only enough for her to peek out - none of her classmates need to see her without her drills, clad in pyjamas) she’s met with mukuro, fingers tangling together nervously

• she barely gets a word out before mukuro says “breakfast.” celeste isn’t sure whether it’s an invitation or an order

• (she’s also not sure why she’d be fine with it being either)

• she agrees, and mukuro nods, leaving her to get changed

• when she arrives at the dining hall, there’s no one else there. mukuro sits at a table with a cup of coffee, a cup of tea, and a plate of pastries

• it takes everything in celeste not to smile when she sees one of her favourite pastries from their meal the night before on the plate, and her tea made exactly the way she likes it

• the conversation starts with an apology. “i’m sorry. it’s early, i know. i usually wake at five, but junko said i should leave you for a while so i didn’t wake you… i hope this is okay?”

• it’s more than okay. celeste tells her so

• mukuro seems to relax after that, taking tentative bites of a pastry and brushing crumbs from where they fall onto her tattoo

• it’s still quiet. given that she spends her time with junko, celeste isn’t surprised mukuro doesn’t talk much - it’s likely she usually can’t get a word in edgeways

• it’s comfortable though, and the small conversations they do have drift from mukuro’s time with fenrir (short and sweet stories there, mukuro is adamant she can’t say too much) to celeste’s dramatic tales of hustling faceless nobodies out of more money than they own

• when the clock strikes 07:00 and some of their classmates start trickling in, celeste catches mukuro’s arm as she makes to leave

• she blurts it out a lot quicker that she’d like - “i’m going out tonight. i would like it if you accompanied me”

• mukuro’s deer in headlights look comes back in full force, but she gives a short nod and an even shorter smile before leaving the cafeteria

• when celeste meets her in the hallway that evening, she dutifully pretends not to notice the weapons visibly strapped to mukuro’s body (or the ones that she’s sure are also there, in much less visible places)

• the way mukuro stands tall and proud as they walk through the streets makes her smile. celeste has always been capable of handling herself, but mukuro’s evident protective streak is a welcomed personality trait

• mukuro is only slightly surprised when celeste waltzes into a casino like she owns the place, and no one even attempts to tell her she’s underage

• when celeste takes a seat at the nearest poker table, the people already gathered there shift uncomfortably, an action that only increases when they notice mukuro stood defensively behind her

• celeste is all smiles and fluttering eyelashes and carefully trained eyes, seeking out tells and playing the game with a voice dripping in honey

• mukuro finds it… much more attractive than she probably should

• especially when a small crowd gathers around celeste, wide eyes and gasps and bated breath at every tense part of the game, but celeste stays perfectly calm, a self-assured smile painted across her lips

• when they leave, it’s with celeste much richer than she was at the beginning of the night, mukuro more content than she can ever remember being, and muffled sounds of anger emanating from behind the casino’s doors

• their return to hope’s peak should probably be quiet, given the time of night, but celeste has seemingly no fear as her heels click against the floor before she stops outside her room

• mukuro stops with her. celeste pushes her door open, takes a single step inside, and turns back to mukuro with an outstretched hand, her ring glinting in the dim hallway lighting

• mukuro doesn’t hesitate

• she takes it, and celeste pulls her inside, and there’s a few quiet seconds of sitting on the edge of the bed before mukuro feels cold metal against her chin

• the top of celeste’s ring traces gently across her jawline, tilting her head up so that their eyes meet

• and there’s celeste, beautiful in the moonlight cascading through the window

• celeste, with curious eyes and a gentle smile, her other hand reaching out to hold mukuro’s in the space between their legs

• celeste, who’s made mukuro feel something. something other than despair, something other than junko’s words echoing in her head

• celeste, who’s made mukuro something she’d never thought she’d be - happy

• mukuro leans in

• and so does celeste

• and they meet in the middle, gentle and wanting, and everything just… fits

• they can both feel it - missing pieces slotting into place, something missing finally being found, their fingers intertwining between them

• the feeling of home, of happiness, the feeling of hope

[rennybu]

could u tell more about beja.. love their design sm..

MY LITTLE GUYYUYUYUYUY............. OHHHHKAY here’s the ultimate Beja thought ramble under the cut

THIS POST IS SUPER LONG OH M Y GOD.. OH YMG OD ENJOY ENJOY!!!!!!!!!

BEJA WAS MY VERY FIRST DND CHARACTER!!!!! The dm had years of experience and was really excited at my idea that beja be half-orc, half-tiefling, and let me play him with my choice of stat increases + tiefling race bonuses!! so i think he had +2 charisma and +1 constitution instead of the usual intelligence.

Beja’s backstory is very bleak and with (seemingly) few strings attached to it... he’s an orphan, or was abandoned, and was raised as a street kid in a small town and grew up into a life of odd jobs and eventually some underground involvement.. mostly a courier or small goods smuggler, and he did ok at it! he was very good at keeping his head down and was happy to travel without the pressure of leaving anyone behind. loner king

eventuallyyy a local gang/cult gave him a fake job which lead to him being abducted and forced into an experimental pact ritual, like a guinea pig for something long forgotten and newly rediscovered. the cultists didn’t care whether he lived or died, only that a connection with their forgotten god would be made. SURPRISE! the pact worked! and beja became sworn to an entity his mind could barely grasp the introduction to! he lashed out in panic with his newfound powers and killed most of his captors, and fled the town with nothing but the clothes on his back!!

his backstory from that point is that he lived a very paranoid and mobile life alone, never staying too long in any town or city for fear that the cult might find him and force him into some kind of service. his pact (with Tharizdun, unbeknownst to him o///o) made him irritable and outright antisocial, giving him nightmares and auditory hallucinations on his bad days. paired with his rough upbringing he found himself unopposed to committing petty crime but he still tried to keep a sense of normalcy by working odd jobs where he could find them, usually at inns or stables or campuses. keeping his hands busy = good for brain!!!

he got very very good at eavesdropping and people watching and kept a firm hold of any rumor threads that he thought might be connected to the cult, in the hopes he might one day catch a member unawares and get answers about his unknown patron and the pact he finds himself in. he’s in survival mode for a good long while here!!!!

and then one day he meets @gacpars OC, Rhagot :’~) he’s a wonderfully fascinating character and I don’t want to describe him poorly so IN BRIEF... the 2 meet by chance before having to part ways, but that time is enough for Beja to get a taste of. gentle curiosity (MUTUAL), interest (NON-THREATENING, ALSO MUTUAL), and. COMPANY!!!!!! and Rhagot is like “ok youre my soul mate. here have this braided silver ring” (their relationship is a whole other essay and i want to draw more of them bc they make my heart and brain ache in a good way)

circumstances cause them to part ways and Beja finds himself travelling with an adventuring party! CAMPAIGN START! long story short turns out the cult is a lot more insidiously widespread and in the years since lil ol Beja’s forced ritual, the cult has been swearing their own members into Tharizdun’s service (voluntary <3) and ummmm growing their power and sacrificing people to him, blood for the blood god etc etc.

he has a really interesting arc here!!! he’s TERRIFIED of the power his pact grants him, both in the sense that he has NO desire to draw power from the forgotten chained god of chaos? death? nothingness? AND that as he gets stronger, his appearance and habits become more monstrous and less predictable. BUT he’s better able to protect those he calls friends. its a very fine line for him and he kills some folks as one does in an edgy blood apocalypse DND campaign, steals some relics, threatens some cultists, writes some poems, etc. He has a very weird Frodo-and-Smeagol type relationship with his familiar (pact of the chaaaiinnnn), a quasit that later grows into a spined devil, because he sees himself in it. a creature bound to serve something it had no choice in! they get along (strained). I am very in love w the irony of him being his most vulnerable (emotionally/morally) at his most powerful (stacking all those Great Old One eldritch invocations babey)

eventually his impulses push him to attune to one of the relics he steals (a very shiny rod of the pact keeper. sobs i wanted +3 spell damage i wanted it so fucking bad) and he gets CURRRRRSSEED!!!!!!!!!!! A SUPER POWERFUL CURSE that our cleric didn’t have high enough spell slots to lift. it was an exhaustion curse and he got like four days into it until the cleric tried a slightly homebrewed Divine Intervention/Wish spell combo to “cure him of all curses that afflict him”

and well! because he’s seen his pact as a curse since the first moment he was saddled with it! the pact is COMPLETELY SEVERED as the other curse is lifted. HE IS FREE!!! and he leans very hard into his hobby of poetry, and as they travel he re-learns spellcasting, and learns to play the hand harp, and apprentices with different travelling bards and tavern-buskers until the DM let me call him a bard of the college of valor!!! filling the void left by his patron with art and song...

soooon after that the campaign ended up disbanding u__u BUT beja left the party to be alone once more, travelling until he one day reunites with and marries Rhagot. they RETIRE into DOMESTIC BLISS in a SMALL VILLAGE where they teach each other PEACE!!!!! oh my god i need to draw them more.

THANK U FOR ASKING! AND READING! i’m very fond of him even though it’s been years since the campaign.... i still do develop him from time to time, or think of his character arc and backstory.... my son.... my grey goth son....

[ruthlesslistener]

Okay so I'm trying to stay off tumblr bc I have a final later this day that I absolutely cannot fuck up. But this is so fucking bad that I have to point it out anyways so that everyone who follows me can laugh at Elon Musk as well.

First off: the equip load. There's genuinely no reason for him to have 'heavy load'. You can play the game with it, sure, but it's a punishment for poor inventory and stamina management by giving you a much slower, clumsier roll with less invincibility frames to dodge with. You never want to have heavy load at ALL if you can help it, because poise in this game is not strong enough to ensure that you can tank through everything with heavy armour. The fact that he swaps out to a lighter load when he needs to roll faster doesn't matter, either, because the extra weight overburdening him is literally useless. If you're running a pure int build like he is then he has no need for two offhand swords and two fucking shields. You want a strong staff, a good melee weapon as a backup, and one good 100% physblock shield. Moonveil is a good option bc its bonkers strong with int/dex, but I doubt that he's even using it since its in the third slot after rogier's rapier (which is a midgame weapon). His staff being +8 would also make me eyeball it if it wasn't for the fact that I can't remember if that one uses somber stones or not (somber smithing stone weapons only go to +10, normal smithing stones go to +25)*

*Edit I checked, and yes it's a somber upgrade, so +8 is actually quite good. However, Lusat's staff scales with STRENGTH and intelligence, and takes extra FP to cast spells to offset the high damage it does, so it's still a shitty weapon choice for what I can only assume is supposed to be a near-pure intelligence build with a sprinkling of dex so that melee weapons are viable. It's honestly hard to tell, because his stats are a fucking disaster.

Second off: Radagon's soreseal. Not only does this increase damage taken by 33%, it also gives multiple levels in strength, dex, vitality, and endurance. Sounds great, right? Well, that's because it's only good in fucking early game, where damage is already reduced as fuck and you don't yet know what build you're opting for yet. The higher you level, the more diminishing the returns you get from having it equipped, and the more late-game enemies tend to one-shot you, because the game expects you to have ~60 vit and an optimized build by that time. Which, sure, if you want to use the soreseal for those 20 extra levels still despite the extra damage taken, then that's up to you, but the icing on the cake is that he's using the wrong soreseal for his build. The one that you should use if you're running a nearly pure int build is MARIKA'S soreseal, which increases mind, intelligence, faith, and arcane iirc (I might be wrong here, I don't use soreseals and generally prefer melee builds). Sure, that's in the Haligtree, an optional tough late-game hidden area, but the point is that Radagon's soreseal literally doesn't offer anything to his build other than forcing him to take more damage. Which is stupid as hell, because-

-Third: he has only 31 fucking vitality (including the levels given by the soreseal and the crimson medallion). This is. bad. But unfortunately it's a mistake that a lot of dudebro Elden Ring players make anyways, so I unfortunately can't fault Musk here. If you've played the Dark Souls games, particularly 3, then you know that vigor softcaps around 30, which is pretty much all that you need anyways because the game isn't really that big. Elden Ring, however, is roughly 5x a regular souls game, and so leveling vigor doesn't really give you diminishing returns until it's around 60. Looking at his talisman pouches indicates that he's killed Morgott, so he's clearly in late game at this point, and is likely getting either one or two-shot when accounting for the soreseal's extra damage. I had around 45 or 50 vit when I fought Morgott, which is likely a little over the top considering my skill level in the game (I've been playing soulsborne games almost exclusively for years, that's not a flex it's just a fact), and I remember him getting my health down pretty low pretty quickly when I slipped up in his fight. Even with good armour, its a fucking miracle that he's managed to somehow survive til this point, which means that he's either relying entirely on summons or his armour (or both) to play the game. This isn't a bad thing if you're a casual player btw, I'm not dissing on summons, but Elon Musk is not the sort of person who'd ever admit to playing the game casually, which is why it's so pathetic. If he ever brags about his prowess in the game or tells someone to git gud, then I'm going to have to laugh.

Fourth: The armour. It's a terrible match for his build. The twinsage glintstone crown increases intelligence at the detriment of health and stamina (both of which he is quite lacking in already), and Radahn's armour is one of the heaviest in the game to offset the great poise and damage reduction values that it offers (bull-goat set is the second I believe). The reason why these two choices are so fucking laughable is because a.) he doesn't need that extra intelligence, he's got enough levels in it as-is, and b.) as a mage, your most effective tactic is the ability to cast from afar while staying light on your feet to prevent the boss from charging at you or getting you with a ranged attack. Heavy armour is only good if you're a strength build with the stamina to fastroll in it and the need to poise through enemy attacks with your much slower weapon. Elon's build is very clearly suited to just stand there and cast like an idiot, which might be somewhat commendable if it wasn't for the fifth thing on this list.

Fifth: The spells. They suck. They suck ASS for the part of the game that he's in right now. I haven't even STARTED my int build yet (currently running through my faith/strength playthrough atm), but even I've done enough research into the spells in this game via simply reading their fucking item descriptions for lore to know that the spells that he's using are only good for early/midgame, ESPECIALLY with 68 intelligence. Fuck's sake, he doesn't even have Comet Azure, which is that bigass lazerbeam spell that you see in oneshot builds that would actually SOMEWHAT excuse him having such heavy armour. Granted, if you optimized yourself with comet azure then you probably wouldn't need the armour anyways because that can one-shot bosses, but the fact that it's a long spell that forces you to be immobile while casting at least excuses having suboptimal armour for your build. But he doesn't, so it's not even laughable amounts of

He also has only five memory slots??? Which is insane??? Because there's literally a fuckload of memory stones all over the map. I have more memory stones on my dex/arcane build than I do on my strength/faith build simply because I liked collecting things and haven't really leaned into the casting aspect of my strength/faith build just yet (haha greatsword go bonk). All the memory stones are in extremely distinct, hard-to-miss towers scattered all over the map with little puzzles for you to complete to get inside and claim your reward. I believe there's usually multiple towers in one area as well? More memory stones = more spell slots, and more spell slots means that you can equip bigger and better spells alongside your smaller, faster one (like the aforementioned comet azure, which takes three spell slots). The fact that he's somehow that fucking deficient in what's pretty much the most important part of a spellcaster build is just mind-boggling, honestly. How are you this bad at the game

*Edit, there's only 8 memory stones in the game, my bad. But that STILL doesn't excuse the fact that the spells he's using are subpar for the beginning of endgame, so he's still completely fucking stupid in that regard. Fuck's sake, being at 68 int means that you have a plethora of good things to choose from, and he's STILL using earlygame spells?? The only two I can see being useful are Loretta's Greatbow and Glintstone Cometshard, which are midgame spells at best. Zamor's ice storm is also laughably useless in Mountaintops of the Giants/Consecrated Snowfield (where I assume he's currently at), considering the fact that the entireass place is covered in ice and the enemies there are strong against frostbite. There's also better, quicker spells for building frostbite too, so I don't know why he's using those when he can just buff Rogier's rapier to inflict frostbite quickly.

ALSO- I should mention that you don't even need lots of game knowledge or souls experience to know how to build a character in Elden Ring. It's an RPG. You get big numbers in certain stats to get certain benefits in your character so that you can optimize a certain playstyle. All items will show you how they affect your stats in their description + when previewing them against your current armour or weapons. There's an ability to respec your stats that is EXTREMELY available once you've gotten into mid to late game if you realize you fucked up and dumped levels into something that you don't need, or decide to switch up your playstyle. It's honestly laughable just how goddamn bad this specific build is- I'd think it to be some sort of joke or trolling attempt if it wasn't for the fact that I know that Musk is 100% serious and 100% too goddamn dumb to understand the simplest fucking parts of an RPG.

happy to announce that elon musk literally has the worst elden ring build in existence