#and in the end it's like. we do have control but no matter what there will always be things out of your control
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Because life is not a maths test where you take the numbers, find a solution and pick the right answer!
It's more like that effed-up test I had at the end of my law course at uni where each question had 4 possible options of which any number could be correct. Which means that there could be 1/2/3/4 correct answers but also for some questions none of the options were correct. And you better be sure that our professor put some trick questions in there.
So imagine that you take this test but also no one really explained the subject and also you never really have enough information about what's actually going on and also in most cases you have a lot of emotions, traumas and convictions that cloud your judgement and also other people have emotions that make them react differently to you doing the same thing and also in most cases no one agrees on what the "right thing" or "good outcome" actually is and also the outcomes are not fully under your control and also the outcome may be good overall but you still are "punished" with unpleasant consequences...
You can't possibly always get the good outcome by trying to make the right choices.
But your trying to make the right choices STILL MATTERS.
It still matters that we try to make things right.
very fucked up that you can try insanely hard your whole life to make all the right choices and yet you can’t escape bad outcomes. like what the flip
15K notes · View notes
potchi-fics · 2 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
note: this is all i got cus im really busy this week. ill probably write them having sex soon, just not right now. listened to do i wanna know by hozier while writing this
      the warlord, ambessa medarda, has never encountered someone bold enough to stand their ground against her.
til she met you. an empress of a nation, never afraid to stand up for your people. so when you held your chin up high, chest out, gaze never wavering when you spoke to her, it sparked interest within her soul.
“pride like yours is a death sentence, general. i cannot give you what you want as it endangers my people.” not once did your voice falter, you bring your hand to gesture to your guards, “leave us. escort the general’s as well.”
a wolfish grin takes over her features, “is that your way of saying that you want me all to yourself, your majesty?” her eyes never left yours even when her men are gone, “i must say, i have some thoughts about professional entanglements.”
“arrogance, pride, egotism. thread lightly, general.” you cross your legs on where you sit, the back of your hand supporting your chin—your throne, looking down at her, “i will simply propose a contract. one that would…benefit both our nations.”
you see her raise an eyebrow, the scar above just barely stretching. “and what is that exactly?”
“resources. i know your kind, general. you desire to have power, to control, to take over, and i will not simply let that happen. i will lay down hell on you if you even dare to think of doing that to my land.” eyes devoid of warmth or life, you threaten the warlord standing before you, taking notice of her tensing shoulders, “i know that you are capable of doing that, however, IF we do come to that, i’m afraid the effects of the aftermath will last for more than a lifetime to our nations.”
ambessa’s glare sharpens, your words striking a nerve, “it is not wise to threaten me, your majesty.”
“i am not.”
“what do you call that?”
“the truth.”
      you are bold, confident, daring; it sends shivers up her spine. you are staring daggers at her from where you sit, unmoving, assessing her from head to toe. she should be insulted, but she’s not.
oh, she will have you. 
“i am in agreement with what you have proposed, your majesty.” she bows her head, refusing to kneel to you. 
      you swear on your life that you will have her on her knees for you. 
you rise to your feet, descending down the stairs to stand in front of her, she never took her eyes off of you. ambessa leans down as you signal for her to do so. gently, you take her face in your hands, turning her head to the side so that you can press your cheek against her.
her towering figure presence easily overshadows your entire frame. but you are not intimated—matter of fact, it entices you. 
your whisper caresses her ear like the wind, “wonderful. consider this a treaty of peace, general.”
      the faintest sensation of her jaw clenching against your cheek reaches you. you are playing a dangerous game; dousing a fire with fuel never ends well.
she slowly wraps an arm around your waist, her fingers lightly grazing against your back.
“careful now, lamb.”
275 notes · View notes
s1lu3s · 3 days ago
Text
WELL-DESERVED REST, zayne.
Tumblr media
warnings: suggestive content +18, oral (fem receiving), masturbation. pairing: zayne x y/n notes: GUYYSS OMGGG WE REACHED THE 150 NOTES WHAT THE HELL?! i also wanna thank you for all the reblogs 😭🩵 just wanted to thank you very much, this means a lot for me, bc i honestly thought that i would never reach something like this sooo in order to celebrate, i write this one about our lovely doctor, hope u enjoy it the same as the rest <3 credits for the banner of mdni to roseschoices.
Tumblr media
Christmas was always a very bad time to visit Zayne at work. No matter what time of year it is, no one stops having incidents because of it. In spite of everything, you don't stop going there to see him so he can rest even if it's just for a few minutes.
Your poor boyfriend has to deal with all kinds of people and you just want to make his workday a little more pleasant. So you take the bag of food from his favorite restaurant, add the dessert from the best place where they make the best popsicles and leave it on the passenger seat.
Today you wanted to surprise Zayne with a nice dinner even though he told you to stay home because of the cold weather. But you can't sit still and do nothing when he's going to work day and night no matter when it's his shift.
So you park your car on a street a little further back from the hospital so he won't see it and walk over there. Since you warned Greyson about your plans, he gave you just this once a key to enter by the back door of the hospital, which can only be used by the staff. You would return it to him. Or not, if Zayne continues to work the same way as he is. 
When you finish climbing the eight flights of stairs, you end up with irregular breathing. Instead of using the elevator, you've had to use the only alternative left to avoid all chances of your boyfriend seeing you here. But it will be worth it, you assure yourself, because you plan to have this Christmas dinner even if it's not at home. 
So before knocking on his office door you finish controlling your breathing, stretch your back and tie your hair up to give it some grace and movement. You knock a couple of times and manage to hear a low “come in” before you cross the threshold of the door and close it by subtly turning the knob.
“Merry Christmas, Dr. Zayne.” Just the first of your words was enough for him to recognize you and raise his head from the pile of papers scattered on his desk. It must have been a very hard day for him to have his desk like this.
You observe without saying anything about his reaction and how he frowns when you place the bag with the food on one of the chairs in front of him.
“What are you doing here?” He asks in his usual dry tone.
“Can't I bring dinner to my boyfriend? “You bite your lip as you approach his chair. “Besides, I also brought your favorite dessert.” You smile playfully, pointing to the bag with the popsicles.
“I expressly told you not to come.” He replies warily, not taking his disapproving gaze away as you settle in and give him a small kiss on the cheek.
“And are you going to do anything about it, Dr. Zayne?” You bring your lips to his as you start playing with the buttons of his shirt.
“For the moment, I don't know. You like being close to the edge too much, though.
“What can I say, anything to help my boyfriend unwind from work.” You chuckle.
“Hum.” He sighs, as he rests his head on your chest and moves his arms over your thighs, tightening his grip on you. He lingers a few seconds too long, breathing on your breasts and spreading his soft breath through the thin fabric of the dress you wear. You feel your nipples perky.
“Zayne?” You call out, but he ignores you. He slides his hands down your legs to your buttocks. Your breathing hitches and you feel your pulse quicken. “Don't y-you want to have dinner?”
“I don't have that kind of hunger right now.” He replies flatly, as he stands up with you in his arms, pushing the contents of the table aside, “Or you prefer not to continue?”
You know from the gaze he gives you that you are incapable of saying no to him. Not when his eyes yearn to devour you and even less when you have him like this, caressing your skin.
“It 's okay.” You answer breathlessly, especially when his hands rest on your knees and he gently spreads your legs to slip between them.
“What am I going to do with you?” He sinks his head into the crook of your neck, smelling your vanilla scent.
He moves one of his hands from your hip to your back to unzip your dress. The fabric slides gracefully down your skin, leaving you naked from the torso. He helps you finally remove the dress, which falls to the floor.
And you're left in heels with your underwear.  
“I should deny you this, because it's not the first time you've completely disregarded what I tell you.”He whispers, kissing your neck and tightening his grip on your thighs.
The only thing you are able to hear is his heavy breathing and your heartbeat, sure that he is able to hear them too.
“But in turn, I should reward you with it, because if not for you, my life would have become an absolute mess.”
He pulls the thong up, rubbing against your already wet slit. You sigh in anticipation, clinging to his shoulders.
“Zayne…”
He unties your bra and pulls it back. His mouth moves down to one of your nipples. He circles it with his tongue and bites down gently. He kisses it again before turning his gaze back to you.
“It's impossible for me to keep my hands off you. Especially if you look this... tasty.”
He wraps the edges of the thong around his fingers and pushes down slowly. Your skin bristles and you shiver from the cold. He has once again let out his Evol. 
“So... what should I do?” He stammers. His husky voice makes you even wetter if that's possible. “You don't say anything now?”
He rests his hands behind you, making you lean back slightly.
“I guess as long as you put work aside, anything's fine for me.” Is the only witty reply you can think of.
Zayne smiles slyly at your failed sarcastic comment.
“You're damn stubborn... You know that, don't you?”
You just giggle.
“You still like me though.” He looks back at you.
“You do.” He offers, before kissing your shoulder again and bending down to you. Kissing and licking your skin, Zayne crouches down before you. He holds your left leg and continues to leave a trail of wet kisses down to your knee.
You sigh, throwing your head back.
You don't even dare to move a muscle when Zayne finally slides his tongue shallowly over your needy slit. Her warm breath moistens it even more, something that makes you shudder and makes your stomach tingle slightly.
“Don't forget to breathe, darling.” He smirks condescendingly, holding your leg tighter. You blush more.
His gaze meets yours before he runs his tongue along your folds again, this time going over you thoroughly from top to bottom.
A sweet moan escapes your lips as he continues to devour you relentlessly. He thrusts his tongue as far in as possible, teasing you and turning you on more as he makes room at your entrance and plays with it. Your thighs are trembling, so he spreads your legs wider and immobilizes you so he can taste you better.
“Z-Zayne...” You babble senselessly. The heat of his mouth on you consumes you in the most exquisite way. You arch your back and press his face to you, pulling at his hair.
“I like order, but seeing the chaos in you every time you're about to come is absolutely awesome.” He looks at you with a look of adoration and devotion in his eyes that makes you tender. He kisses your inner thigh and his mouth comes back to rest on your clit, circling and caressing it. His torrid tongue finds its way into your folds and continues to lick, up and down, without pause, but either not as quickly.
You gasp again as he inserts two of his fingers and begins scissoring them. You feel yourself getting more and more on edge and along with it, Zayne's mouth keeps licking everything you give him.
“Your taste is so addictive... so sweet.” He dives back between your thighs, sucking, licking and feeling you cling tightly to his fingers.
“P-please...” You whisper. You feel your vision blur as he continues to push his fingers and rub your clit delicately.
Your consciousness becomes fuzzy as you are caressed and filled. So you feel somewhat empty as he pulls his fingers out of you, licks them and looks at you with his desire-filled eyes.
“Forget about the damn popsicles. You are definitely my new favorite dessert.”
142 notes · View notes
soopcak3 · 3 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
I’m Sorry..
Kang Dae-Ho/Angst🌧️
Summary: right before the revolt, Gi-Hun asks if the other players are willing to join the fight. It doesn’t end well for Y/N..
Warnings: blood/gore, gun violence, overall sad vibes.
This was it. The revolt against the people who had put everyone here. Justice for those who died, and those who were willing do risk their lives to end the games for good.
Gi-Hun and several others, including your best friend Dae-ho had gathered guns and ammo from the guards they had killed moments before. Dae-ho’s oldest sister had babysat Y/N as a kid so she and Dae-ho had spent a lot of time together, and practically grew up together. Playing lots of Gonggi and cooking and having lots of fun, but now none of that mattered. What mattered was getting out of here and ending the games.
Gi-Hun asked if anyone would join them in their fight against the guards. Y/N stepped up, “I… I will.”
“Y/N no!” Dae-ho interrupted, “you can’t! It’s too dangerous!” She waved him off.
“Don’t try telling me what’s dangerous now! I’ve made my choice. I’d rather die in a fight than die helplessly in one of those games!!” Y/N shouted back. Dae-ho stood there helplessly as Gi-hun nodded. Hyun-ju quickly taught everyone how to use the guns, it was amazing how she had the whole rooms attention, except for Dae-ho. He was focused entirely on y/n.
As they exited the room, Dae-ho quickly walked in front of y/n as though he was blocking her. She glared at him but didn’t say anything, she had to focus on the task at hand.
As they went up the stairs, the first wave of attack started. Y/N fired her gun as best as she could, and although she wasn’t skilled she managed to shoot a few guards and even take one down. She looked over at Dae-ho who was trembling from the gun fire, she knew about his PTSD and her eyes softened. They continued up the stairs once the fight was over.
Dae-ho, still trembling, felt a hand on his shoulder causing him to flinch. He turned quickly and saw Y/N, “are you okay, Dae-ho? Do you.. need to go back?” She asked, her eyes gentle and caring. He shook his head, his hands trembling slightly. Y/N nodded, trusting his judgment, but still slightly worried.
Then the next attack started. Everyone was doing so well at first, then Gi-hun and Jung-bae split off to go find the control room. They were holding their own at first then Y/N turned to see Dae-ho behind a pillar, firing his gun over his head. She quickly crawled over, “Dae-ho, it’s okay, you need to get up though.. we can do this! We’re doing so well!” Y/N said, her voice gentle yet shaky. He nodded but as Y/N began to stand— BOOM.
She fell to the floor, blood gushing from her chest. Dae-ho quickly crawled over, hands shaking and breathe hitching. “Oh my— Y/N!! SOMEONE HELP HER!!” He cried, looking around at everybody and realizing he’d lose her today.
She weakly looked up at him and took his face in her hands, “Dae.. ho… I’ll be okay… I.. love you…” Y/N mumbled as blood gushed from her mouth, and the life drained from her eyes.
Dae-ho cradled her in his arms and cried out loudly, it all happened so fast, it was like he couldn’t hear anything, not even the gun fire anymore. Everything he fought for was gone in seconds.
“I’m sorry..”
100 notes · View notes
princesscolumbia · 1 day ago
Text
As someone who writes about aliens, I'm just going to say it's not a big spiritual deep-dive to write about them, either. Space aliens, illegal aliens, trans-universal/timeline aliens, cybernetic beings that are technically alien life...you name it, you can write about it with research and...
Tumblr media
(Goddess help me, I just used a Spongebob meme!)
There's a post that circulates about how Tom Clancy has never served in the military but writes remarkably accurate military fiction. When asked, he explains that it's pretty much just him thinking through, "What would happen if abc did xyz? How would we handle it through a military lens?"
Of course, this requires that you put enough in your head so you can think through these kinds of questions in a logical and reasonable way, so this, also, requires research. It won't always look like what you think it does.
I have a project that (minor spoilers for those reading my stuff) has a plot thread that concludes about 400-600 years from now where humans are basically hybrid beings, nearly equal parts nanite and organic tissue. Not cyborgs, the synthetic bits aren't something added in, they're born with them, having received both the genetic material AND the nanites from their parents. By the time they're born, the nanites from both parents have reconfigured to be unique to the child's nanites as an amalgam of the nanites from both parents. The nanites basically make the humans immune to any previously encountered disease, repair ALL damage, even just the damage caused by aging, and allow the human to learn to control the nanites to directly shape their own body. In this transhuman future, the human consciousness isn't even necessarily confined to that particular body because it lives just as much in the nanite swarm as it does in the blob of tissue that forms the organic parts of the body, so even the total obliteration of the physical form isn't necessarily lethal so long as they have a connection to a network and enough time to escape through that connection. (Surprise ground-zero nuclear explosion or teleportation to the center of a star would do it, but even said nuclear explosion could be escaped with a fast enough network connection.) Said network connection can be always on, and for most people it is, simply because it gives them access to all of the rest of humanity no matter how alone they may be IRL. Since the nanites are simply part of the person's entire framework of who they are, the build instructions for new nanites would be constantly updated in the person's...person-hood framework in their consciousness 'blob' on the network. If the person had to do this kind of jump, they'd simply find the appropriate machinery connected to the 'net to build their nanite swarm, which would then seek out the appropriate organic components to build them a new body and they just move into that.
While I was workshopping this as an end-point for this particular series, I stumbled onto a series on ScribbleHub that...sadly seems to have languished, because I'd love to see how the stories in the series end! But, the central premise is about humans making first contact with an alien intelligence that is based on mycelium. They're a complex multicellular life form that exists in a networked-by-default state. The individuals exist inside a collective consciousness as distinct individuals and have their own cluster of cells in the colony, but they have a somewhat loose relationship with the physical world because they can simply grow custom tailored bodies from the cellular colony and then inhabit said body, break it off, then go about their business. They can sever their connection completely or keep it going remotely, and everything we would do with tech and tools they do by just growing whatever tech and tools they need from their own collective cellular mass.
The two ideas smashed together in my head and I realized something...
Individuals exist untethered from a single corporeal form
They live connected to others as both a community thing and a survival thing
They can exist as nothing but a concept but prefer to be tethered to a physical form, regardless of how instantiated it is or how big or small the physical form is
They can build themselves bodies from the ground up so long as the resources and network connection exists
The smallest unit of survival for propagation is a single cell. Sure, that single cell may not be able to do much and may not be connected to the collective, but it can replicate, and from that replication, create enough more of itself to rebuild an entire civilization if necessary
The collective is just as important and invaluable as the individual and everyone in the community is incentivized to maintain their collective since that's where they keep all their stuff. (And by "stuff" I mean "all the memories and experiences and everything that makes me 'me' is at least backed up in part of the complete whole of all the everything else about my people and my community")
Their perspective shifts from time scales of years and decades to centuries and millennia
Life experiences and knowledge and even basic empathetic understanding can be transmitted to others easily because it's just data and data can be copied and sent easily
I realized that between what Murbellass and I wrote, there's a convergent evolution happening on the galactic scale.
It all comes back to crab mushrooms.
(While this creates an interesting setting, I didn't really have anything but the setting until @machoestofmen showed me some humanoid automata monsters from Dragon Quest XI that trap creatures in the cages that make up their lower halves and look like dresses and they suggested, "What if this but forcefemme?" and I'm all, "Sounds like a mechanical version of HDG...wait..." and now I've got ANOTHER damn plot bunny in my head where all of these ideas come together in a story that takes place about a thousand years from now...)
MY POINT is...I don't know any mushroom people. To the best of my knowledge, no mycelium are connected to the Internet for me to ask, "Hey, how does this work for you?" But I don't have to. By exposing my mind to new stories, new ideas, new things to research that I've never encountered before, I'm able to imagine how such things might happen, what occurs when xyz meets abc, and then extrapolate the 'What happens next?!' from there.
if you’re white and wanna write a poc character and feel awkward about it i implore you to ignore any twitblr stuff treating it as a massive ethical burden and instead come in more with the same mindset you’d have if you wanted to write about idk firefighters but didn’t know anything about firefighters so you do... research. Like fuck off with the weird kinda creepy calls for spiritual introspection you’re not writing about god damn space aliens you’re writing about humans and if you think you need more perspective of different life experiences just read?
161K notes · View notes
maenoakasuna · 17 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
{ All For Us Part II } Part I
Hello and Welcome to the part Two of All for Us ! I'm so happy this little story seem to please people. I still don't really know How to describe in the good way what this story will be, but so far I thing something like ; Toxic relation and healing process are good terms for it.
I hope you will enjoy this part as much as you enjoyed the firts part. My only negativ recap from this part is ; Im sorry for the ending I feel like I rushed it and also sorry for the lac of word or expression. If someone want to help me or correct something or even help me rewrith some parts hit me Up. I will not say No if it can make it better.
TW : Mention of drug, smut without Smut ( Started but never ended) Toxic relation, cheating
Tags : @private-vampire @rafesbunniebby
When you came back in the main Room, you return to the bed you awaken and sit on it. Your arms was wrapped around your legs as you try to breath to not start to cry. You wasn’t sure if all you felt was cause of the pregnancy, the stress or just cause you stopped abruptly to take drugs some months ago. Your mind was set to not take it but your body just want to feel high again. Also you would not be again’t not feeling stress Right Now.
You spotted Thano’s purple hair in the crowd as he mad his way to you with another guy before sitting in your bed, in front of you. He’s eyes was locked on you as you try to look like nothing matter, but your wet eyes and slightly trembling body betrayed You.
«-You didn’t seem to feel Alright, flower. »
He gave a Look at his friend, asking him to leave us alone for a moment. When He left, Thanos got closer to you. If you felt better you would have kicked his ass far from you, but you hardly have energy ton control the hurricane of emotions in your body right now.
Thanos put his arms around your shoulders before whispering something in your ear.
«-Maybe you need one of my special treats, for energy. I bring t some with me. -Scram, looser.»
Your voice was low, but the tone was hatfull. Thanos simply turn his head to look at you and raised an eybrow. He knew something was wrong.
«-Y/N … i’m serious. You didn’t seem fine. We already talked about that. If you want to quit drugs you can’t just do it like this. Your body will still crave it and if you refuse him his usual treat, he will make you go feral.»
A small sarcastic smile appear on your face. You Eyes was locked on what happen in the crowd in front of you, ignoring what the other talked about.
«-You mean, like you did ? No. I will not be like you.»
Thanos sight and let go of you to place himself again in front of you to have eyes contact with you.
«-I know i wasn’t the best boyfriend. I know I fucked up, but I swear I didn’t cheated on you. So please, let me help you.»
He get out the cross to his necklace and opened it, After taking care no one was looking at you, and took one little pill and put it your hand. You looked at the small thing with a lot of hesitation. He gave this to you, for free. You could just swallow it and let the anxiety fly away, but it will be an horrible mistake. This could be the death of your child and the win your body crave for. Also a Win for Thanos who think giving you drug is the real and also the best way to help you.
You closed your eyes, took a deep breath as your hand was place one your belly like you tried to protect your child.
«-I can’t.
Your voice was shaky, just like you refuse to take the pill to gave you good conscience but it was just really hard to say no when all you need is that small little thing to make you feel better.
-Excuse-me, what ? What do you mean you can’t ? »
Thanos seems really surprised to ear you say no to this. That was one of your favorite drug before.
Giving him back his pill you opened your eyes and answered with more confidence.
«-I can’t. I don’t want to touch that shit ever again.»
The rapper looked at the pill in your hand and took it back, unsure and still surprised. He was about to say something but was cut by the crowd asking to leave, to do a vote. The guard agreed but first, they showed you and the rest of the alive competitors the amount of money you had collected after one game. If you all take the decision to leave, you will end up with more money than when you arrived but it wasn’t enough to pay your debts, but was it worth risking your life ? 
The vote started with player 456 who voted to go back home. You will pass in the last ones, it give you time to think about what you're gonna do.
You weren't surprised to see Thanos vote to stay.
When it was finally your turn, get up of your bed and walk to the machine, looking at the two buttons and the numbers of vote. It was 50/50
As much as you wish to go home, stay alive and never have to see Thano’s face ever again, the money you will receive from all the people who died in the first game, to had put your life in danger, it wasn’t enough. Not enough to clear you debts or to raise a child. Plus, here you will not find a way to put your hand on drug again. At least if you could leave with a little more money to go in detox, it will be the best. That’s why you choose to stay.
You felt sorry for everyone who wanted to go home, you will maybe choose to leave after the next game.
Before going to bed, you had to go to the bathroom. You didn’t felt so good, all the stress, the blood, the weird smell everywhere gave you nausea and you could hold in anymore. You took the first cabinet and throw up. You wasn’t sure if it was just the pregnancy but for once you had doubts about it, it just didn’t help.
«-I’m sorry… I’m sorry to put you in all this danger. To make you feel all those harsh emotions…»
Still throwing up, you felt tears on your face. You could hold in anything anymore. Everything was too much for a day.
«-One more game… and we are going home. I swear. »
You cried out as you flush the toilet. You let all your negative emotion out until you heard someone knock at your cabin door.
«-I’m sorry, I overheard you and I felt worried. Are you alright there ? -Yeah, wonderful, you answered with a lot of sarcasm, best day of my life.»
You sniffled and whipped your tears before get up of your feets and leaving the cabin. You found yourself face to face with another young girl with the number 222 or her hoodie. She looked at you with some concern. On the other part of her top, you could see a X. She voted to go home and cause of your vote, you denied her that fate. You felt like it was the best decision to stay, but you also felt so much guilt.
«-You talked alone ? She asked you. -Yeah, exactly. »
You are not here to make friends and you dont know her. You will not start to explain all your worries to a perfect stranger.
«-Can I ask you something  ? She asked as you made your way to the sink -You already did but yeah sure. -Why did you choose to Stay ? -Why did you choose to leave ?»
You saw her in the mirror, putting her hand on her belly while she looked at it with a worried look in her eyes.
«-Because I’m pregnant.»
Now you felt more guilty. You was in the same boat in this situation. What a Hellhole, two pregnants womens for one game. As you watch the water flow in your hands, you sigh heavily and close it, still looking at the sink.
«-So Am I. That’s why I chose to stay for at least one other game. I need this money to clear debts and at least go to therapy before I give birth. I don’t want my child to leave like I used to the last two years.»
You opened up so easily and mentally cursed yourself, you knew you shouldn't but you felt better now. Maybe Life put her on your way to show you that you are not alone.
«-How many months ? She asked.-I don’t really Know, for around 2 months. I realized it after I left my boyfriend, almost two months ago.»
She slowly get closer to You as you turn around to face her. You noticed her belly, it was bigger than yours, but with the baggy clothes it’s easy to hide. You should be able to hide it from Thanos without any problems. Your bum his only visible when your remove your cloths or show that part of your body, witch mean ; Never.
«-Why are you here ? You asked Her. -I need money to raise the kid on my own and the father put me in debt. I want a fresh start, but I never thought it would be a deadly games. What about You ? -Not that different from You. Addicted dad, drugs debts for both of us, also other things with an internet guy who scammed him and He lost everything. »
You continued your little chat with player 222 until a guard knocked at the door, asking You to get out. When the lights will turn off you need to be In your bed. 
You both left the bathroom to go back to the main room.
Once In your bed and the lights off, you weren't sleepy at all. You had too much on your mind, starting with Thanos and how you left him. Since you saw him cheating on you, you often have nightmares about that, waking up with the horrible feeling of not being  enough, cause that’s exactly what you felt that day.
Two Months Ago
You were awakened by Thano’s soft kisses on your Body. You could feel every one of them, starting by the corner of your lips, going down on your jaw, your neck, your shoulders. Your skin felt like melting under his lips. You could feel him smile as he continued his way down, kissing your collarbone as his hands found their place on your hips, pressing you against his more than awake boner. Having such an effect on him makes you smile as you open your eyes. The light coming from the big window of his apartment felt like aggression. Your eyes shut again as the headache started to hit. You were probably a little bit hungover from last night. 
When Thanos noticed you were awake, he smiled and slowly slid his hands under the Big t-shirt of his that you borrow every night, claiming it as your pajama.
«-Good morning Beautiful,  he said as he came back to kiss your neck. -Good morning, you answered as you tried again to open your eyes.»
This time, it was easier and the sun didn’t feel like your eyes were melting. You could see the beautiful smile of your boyfriend as his lips joined yours for a passionate kiss. Passing your arms around his neck, you answered the kiss with as much passion as him.
His Hands, still on your hips until now, started moving up to your breast, gently squeezing it . A shiver passed through your body when you felt the cold air on your exposed skin since your T-shirt followed Thanos hands. 
Your boyfriend ended the kiss and he took his time to look at you. Flushed cheeks, heavy breathing, exposed breast  with hard nipple who seem to call for his mouth. 
«-Fuck, baby, your are so beautifull.»
You didn’t know what you could answer. Thanos was one of those men who make you blush with that kind of praise. You liked that and He knew it.
With a Smile, he opened the drawer close to the bed and put out a stack of pills. For a second you thought he would take a condom but his priorities seemed to be for something else.
«-Do you really like that ? You asked, unsure. -Relax beautiful, it will just make the experience better, for both of us. »
He was about to take the pill when you stopped him.
«-Thanos, you don’t need that to make love to me.»
That’s when reality hits you like a car at full speed. You don’t even remember one time, in two years, when you was sober when it came to intimacy.
«-We can do it without, this time.-Why ? We always used to fucked when we was high. Believe my experience, it’s better.»
Fuck, not even making love. All of that made you feel suddenly uncomfortable. Gently, you pushed him from above you and replace you T-shirt to cover your body. All that just turned you off.
«-Is that what it is for you ? We just fuck.  -Fucking, Banging, Hoocked up , making love. All the same. Why is that suddenly such a Big deal ? -I don’t know, I just feel like it’s wrong. We shouldn't have to be high every time we have intimacy.»
Thanos' sight as he got up and took the pill.
«-Fuck off. You turned me off with your princess shit, he said as he left the room to go to the bathroom.»
That day was no fun. You had a great time the other night after his show, you came home late, drunk and probably high and now this. Thanos never liked when people tell him how to act or how he should feel, but you should have this right, at least to make the best out of him, but when you try he just push you away.
You barely talked that day. He had another show at the same bar from yesterday and had to work on some songs, so you let him work in peace. You spent your day in a coffee shop, thinking about what happened this morning, until you realised nothing was right in this relation. You didn’t even remember him telling you he loved you. All he always said was about how good you locked, or how beautiful you was, how much fun he had with you, but never how much he loved you, and somehow that broke your heart.
You could have wait until he came home to talk to him, but you knew He will probably be to tired and too high to have a serious conversation, si you showed up at the bar before he started his show. Making your way to his private room, you was about to enter but you stopped when you heard a feminine voice coming from there. The door was a little bite opened so you could see what was happening there. That’s how you knew. The vision broke your heart more than it already was. 
You saw a random girl sit on the table in the middle of the room and your boyfriend passionately kissing her. You knew Thanos for long enough to know that kind of passion. It was the ‘’ I will fuck you right here and right now ‘’ kind of one. 
You saw enough so you just left with tears in your eyes and even less than a broken heart.
70 notes · View notes
mattsobvimyfav · 2 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
neighbors (matthew sturniolo)
pt 10
A couple of days had passed and Nick just posted the vlog from our drive around LA. Charlie and I were lounging on the couch, scrolling through our phones. My notifications had been blowing up all day. Every few seconds, a new comment popped up, most of them about the kiss Matt and I had shared in the vlog. The hate comments didn’t faze me—they were ridiculous and honestly kind of entertaining. People had too much time on their hands.
“Oh my God,” Charlie said, leaning over to peek at my phone. “They’re actually mad about a kiss? Like, of all things to care about.”
I shrugged, smirking. “Apparently, I’m public enemy number one. Should I frame this?”
She laughed, but before either of us could say more, my phone started buzzing. Matt’s name flashed on the screen. I answered quickly, putting the call on speaker.
“Hey,” I greeted casually, expecting him to laugh about the comments with me.
“Have you seen my comment section?” His voice was tense, his tone clipped.
I sat up straighter. “Uh, yeah. People are being dumb. Who cares?”
“I care,” he snapped. “It’s not just about you, Y/N. They’re not even saying awful things about me. Its just about how I ‘picked the wrong girl’ or whatever. It’s everywhere.”
Charlie raised an eyebrow at me, mouthing, ‘Seriously?’
“Matt, they’re just bitching,” I said, trying to stay calm. “You know none of that matters.”
“It’s easy for you to say,” he shot back. “Your TikTok isn’t flooded with comments about how I ‘deserve better’ or how you’re ‘using me for clout.’ It's pissing me off.”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Okay, so what do you want to do? We can’t control what people say.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line before he spoke again, his tone softer but still firm. “Troll back. Lets just start making whatever we are way more public give them a real reason to be mad.” 
I hesitated, glancing at Charlie, who was already nodding eagerly as if to say, ‘Just do it.’
“Fine,” I said finally. “Let’s do it, I love being a dick online.”
Matt let out a breath, some of the tension easing from his voice. “Deal. I’ll come over later.”
As I hung up, Charlie smirked at me. “Hes gonna make you do porn on tiktok.”
“We havent even fucked,” I said, rolling my eyes. 
“WHAT?” She yelled jumping up sitting straight up “What the fuck was going on the other night than?” 
“He just ate me out and oh my god the hottest thing ever, he was so turned on that started jerking off. Just to eating me out” I said feeling a warmth between my legs rethinking about the night me and Matt shared.
“Wow. Thats really fucking hot, hes inlove with you” Charlie said looking away from me “Im picturing it in my head. I'm jealous” I laughed at her response as we laid back down going back to our phones. 
Later that night, Matt came over, his irritation over the comments still lingering but hidden under his usual calm demeanor. I greeted him at the door, grinning as I waved him inside. "Ready to show the internet who's boss?"
He smirked, shaking his head. "You mean, ready to show the internet that I don’t care, but also kind of care? Yeah, let’s do this."
Charlie, lounging on the couch with her popcorn, chimed in. “Make it iconic, okay? Something that makes the haters cry.”
Scrolling through TikTok, I landed on the “A boy who’s jacked and kind” trend. I turned the screen to Matt. “How about this one? It’s simple, it’s bold, and it’ll get them talking.”
Matt glanced at the screen, then at me, his lips quivering into a smirk. “You really think you can handle me lifting you like that?”
“Please,” I scoffed. “The question is whether you can handle me.”
Charlie snorted from the couch. “Oh, this is going to be good.”
We set up the phone, positioning it on the kitchen counter for the perfect angle. Charlie jumping around on the couch in the back, I stood in front of Matt as the trend’s audio began playing. The line “A boy who’s jacked” came up, and right on cue, Matt’s hands slid to my hips. With a swift, practiced motion, he lifted me effortlessly, placing me on his shoulder like I weighed nothing.
I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me as I balanced on his shoulder, gripping onto him for support. The audio continued, transitioning to “and kind,” and Matt gave the camera with a playful grin, tapping my leg lightly.
Matt walked over grabbing his phone while I was still on his shoulders, added the caption: “my lady” and hit post.
Charlie shrugged, looking over Matt’s shoulder. “I like my cameo.”
Matt gently lowered me back to the ground, his hands lingering on my waist. “Think that’ll do the trick?”
I leaned into him slightly, grinning. “Oh, it’ll definitely stir the pot. But at least this time, it’s on our terms.”
We flopped onto the couch next to Charlie, refreshing the post to watch the views climb almost instantly. Matt wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer as the first wave of comments rolled in.
As we sat on the couch, watching the likes and comments roll in from Matt’s TikTok, I turned to him with a mischievous grin. “Okay, now it’s my turn. We’re making one for my account.”
Matt raised an eyebrow. “Alright. What’s the plan?”
“You’ll see,” I teased, grabbing his hand to pull him up. “We need a parking lot for this one.”
Without hesitation, he stood, grabbed his keys, and intertwined his fingers with mine.  I laughed as he practically dragged me to the door, his excitement contagious. 
“BYE LOVERS! Chris and Nick will be here when you get back!” Charlie yelled from the couch.
“Bye baby!” I yelled back to her
By the time we reached the car, I was giggling uncontrollably. “You don’t even know what we’re doing yet.”
“Don’t care,” he said opening the passenger door for me. “You said parking lot, so we’re going to a parking lot.”
The drive was filled with us singing to old songs wed listen to in college. His curiosity clearly bubbling under the surface. “So,” he finally asked, “are you going to clue me in, or do I just wing it when we get there?”
I smirked, looking out the window. “You’ll know when the time comes.”
He shook his head, chuckling as he turned into a small, dimly lit parking lot. “This good enough for your tiktok?”
“Perfect,” I said, hopping out of the car. I grabbed my phone and propped it up against the tire, adjusting the angle until it captured the open space behind us.
Matt leaned against the car, watching me with amused curiosity. “Alright, sweetheart, what’s the move?”
I pulled up the audio and played it for him, explaining as it went. “Okay, so, I start spinning in the frame when the music begins, and then you run in, pick me up, and keep running off-screen.”
He nodded, walking away.
I laughed, hitting record and jogging into position. The audio started, and I spun slowly, my arms outstretched as the music swelled. ‘You better lock your phone-’ Right on cue, Matt dashed into the frame, scooping me up effortlessly. I squealed in surprise as he kept running, the camera capturing the two of us disappearing into the shadows.
When he finally stopped, both of us were laughing uncontrollably. “That was perfect,” I said, catching my breath as he set me down. 
“Obviously,” he teased, brushing a strand of hair from my face. “Now, let’s see it.”
We walked back to the car, reviewing the footage together under the soft glow of the streetlights. The video was exactly what I had imagined.
“You’re posting that, right?” Matt asked, his arm draped casually over my shoulder.
“Absolutely,” I said, uploading the video with the caption: “my future baby daddy.”
As we got back into the car, I glanced over at him, grinning. “You really don’t question anything, do you?”
He shrugged, kissing my forehead. “Not when it comes to you.”
When we got back to the house, the sound of voices and laughter greeted us as we stepped inside. Chris and Nick were now sprawled out on the couch with Charlie, the TV playing in the background.
As soon as I walked in, a wave of excitement hit me. Everything had been going so well lately, and I couldn’t help but feel like life was finally falling into place. “Guys!” I yelled, throwing my arms up in the air. “We should celebrate tonight!”
Nick perked up, looking intrigued. “What are we celebrating exactly?”
“Everything!” I exclaimed. “Life!”
Chris laughed, shaking his head. “Yes Y/N! I LOVE CELEBRATING LIFE!” Chris jumped up wrapping his arms around my shoulders behind me as we jumped like school girls.
Nick’s face lit up. “Well, if we’re talking about celebrating, I know Tara Yummy is throwing a party tonight. Should we go?”
Charlie’s eyes widened with excitement. “I’m in! We haven’t been to one of her parties. We've only ever dmed her a few times about a collab”
Matt looked over at me, smirking. “You good with that?”
“Absolutely,” I said without hesitation, “Let’s go, I can tell Chris is gonna match my freak tonight” I said while patting his arm that was hanging on me.
Charlie laughed at me and Chris jumping around, we exchanged a quick glance before I turned, pointing toward the door. “Alright, you three. Go home and get ready.”
Nick groaned but stood up, dragging Matt with him. “Fine, but you better not take forever.”
“No promises!” Charlie called out as the boys headed out, leaving us to start planning our outfits for the night.
The moment the boys left, Charlie and I raced upstairs to start getting ready. The excitement of the night buzzed between us, making us laugh and talk over each other as we dug through our closets for the perfect outfits.
“I’m thinking something bold,” I said, pulling out a burgundy strapless corset top that hugged my figure and showed off just the right amount of cleavage. I paired it with a tight black cloth skirt that barely covered my ass and my black heeled boots. “What do you think?”
Charlie whistled, grinning. “Matt’s going to fuck you infront of everyone.”
I laughed, tossing a pillow at her. “We’re celebrating life, remember? What about you?”
She held up a black crop top with thin straps that fit her perfectly and paired it with a jean mini skirt that showed off her long legs. She added a pair of cute ankle boots. “How’s this?”
“Absolutely stunning,” I said with a grin. 
We got to work on our makeup and hair, After straightening my hair and leaving it sleek and shiny, I turned to Charlie, who was curling her hair into loose waves.
“You’re going to have every guy at that party eating out of your hand,” I teased, spraying her hair with setting spray.
“Please, as long as Chris is that's all I care ‘bout,” she shot back, but her smile was wide.
By the time we finished, we took a couple pictures in the mirror, grinning like excited to finally meet Tara, and get drunk.
“Let’s do this,” I said, grabbing my phone to text the boys to let them know we were almost ready.
“They better not keep us waiting,” Charlie added with a laugh as we headed downstairs, our heels clicking against the floor, excitement building for the night ahead.
Charlie and I were halfway through our second nip of vodka, as we danced around the kitchen. The boys walked in just as I tipped the tiny bottle back, the liquid burning slightly as it slid down my throat.
“Starting without us?” Nick teased. Chris followed close behind, already laughing at the scene.
Matt came in last, his eyes locking on me immediately. I caught the smirk tugging at his lips as he walked over. Just as I was placing the empty nip on the counter, his hands slid around my waist, and one moved down to grab my butt firmly.
I shrieked, startled, and spun my head around to glare at him, but he leaned down to whisper in my ear, his voice low and teasing. “Let’s go.”
The sound of his voice sent a shiver down my spine, and I turned back around, trying to hide my flushed face as I reached for my bag. Charlie wiggled her eyebrows at me but said nothing as she grabbed her purse and slid her phone into it.
“All set?” Chris asked.
“Matt’s driving,” Nick said with a grin. 
“Lucky me,” I said, giving Matt a playful smirk. “That means you can take care of me when I'm hammered.”
He rolled his eyes but smiled, gesturing toward the door. “Per usual.”
Charlie and I followed the boys outside, the cool night air hitting our skin as we clicked down the driveway in our heels. Matt opened the passenger door for me, and I slid in, adjusting my skirt as he walked around to the driver’s side. Charlie climbed into the back with Chris and Nick, and we were off, heading for Tara’s party.
The car was filled with excitement and music as we drove, everyone hyped for the night ahead. I leaned back in my seat, sneaking a glance at Matt as he drove, his hand gripping the wheel tightly, the other holding my thigh. 
The house was packed with music blasting through the speakers and groups of people talking and laughing in every corner. As we walked in, the energy was electric.
“Y/N! Charlie!” A high-pitched squeal came from across the room, and Tara was practically sprinting toward us. She threw her arms around me first, then Charlie, her excitement contagious. “I was so excited when Nick told me you guys were coming! Finally, I get to meet the infamous Y/N and Charlie. You’re even prettier in person!”
Charlie and I exchanged amused smiles. “You’re so sweet, Tara,” I said, hugging her back.
“Come on,” Tara said, linking her arms with ours. “Let me show you where the drinks are. We’re getting started right now.”
She led us through the crowd, leaving Matt, Nick and Chris to socialize with other people, to a makeshift bar setup on the kitchen counter, complete with every type of alcohol imaginable. Tara wasted no time, grabbing shot glasses and pouring tequila like a pro.
“Let’s go, ladies,” she said, holding up her shot glass.
“Cheers!” we all yelled, clinking glasses before throwing back the first shot.
And then the second.
And then the third.
Before long, Charlie and I were fully committed to a shot-for-shot competition with Tara, each round getting harder to keep up with her.
“Come on, lightweight!” Tara teased as Charlie hesitated before the seventh shot, but I wasn’t about to back down. I threw our shot back, wincing as the burn hit my throat.
By the time an hour had passed, the three of us were absolutely obliterated. Tara was laughing so hard she was leaning on the counter for support, and Charlie and I were clinging to each other to stay upright.
“I love you guys,” Tara slurred, throwing her arms around us. “You’re my favorite people in the world now.”
“You’re my favorite!” Charlie yelled back, equally as drunk, before dissolving into giggles.
I nodded enthusiastically, my head spinning but too far gone to care. “Best friends forever,” I declared, raising my empty shot glass in the air like it was some kind of victory trophy.
The party was in full swing, the music pounding in my chest as I stumbled my way through the crowd, drink still clutched in my hand. My vision blurred slightly, but I was riding a wave of tipsy confidence—until I spotted him.
Matt.
He was leaning casually against the wall, talking to some girl. She was laughing at something he said, leaning in just a little too close. A flash of annoyance surged through me, cutting through the haze of alcohol. My mind betrayed me, flashing back to our college days—Matt fucking girl after girl.
Fueled by jealousy and bad judgment, I stormed across the room, stumbling slightly but determined. “What the hell is this?” I blurted, my voice louder than I intended.
Matt straightened up, his brows furrowing as he looked at me. “Y/N—”
“No, seriously,” I slurred, gesturing wildly at the girl. “What’s happening here?”
The girl blinked in confusion, clearly caught off guard. “Uh, I’m gonna go...” she muttered, excusing herself quickly as the tension between Matt and me became palpable.
Matt’s jaw tightened, and before I could say another word, he grabbed my wrist. “We’re not doing this here,” he said firmly, his voice low but commanding. He pulled me through the crowd, ignoring my protests, until we were in a quiet, empty room.
He let go of my wrist, closing the door behind us. Turning to face me, his eyes were sharp, his tone clearly pissed. “What the fuck was that, Y/N?”
“I could ask you the same thing!” I shot back, swaying slightly on my feet. “Talking to some random girl like I don’t even exist? What’s the deal, Matt? Back to your old habits?”
His hands went to his temples, rubbing them in frustration. “Are you serious right now? She’s just a friend! And even if she wasn’t, that’s not what this is. You’re drunk and making something out of nothing.”
“I saw the way she was looking at you,” I accused, my voice trembling. “And you weren’t exactly pushing her away.”
He took a step closer, his voice lowering as he leaned in. “Y/N, you’re drunk. You’re not thinking straight. Chill the fuck out.”
As Matt’s words echoed in the small, dimly lit room, I could feel the tension building, the weight of everything from the party to my frustrations pressing down on me. But then, unexpectedly, the alcohol made everything feel lighter.
I giggled, the sound bubbling up uncontrollably from my chest. "I love you," I blurted out, the words slipping out before I could stop them.
Matt looked at me, eyebrows raised, clearly taken aback by my sudden shift in mood. "What?" he asked, his voice a mix of confusion and amusement.
I shrugged, the smile on my face turning mischievous despite the still-present anger in my head. "I mean, I do," I said, a silly grin stretching across my face. 
He stood there, speechless for a moment, his eyes searching mine. His lips quirked upward into a small, amused smile as he let out a deep breath. "You’re drunk, Y/N."
"Yeah, I know," I said, still grinning, "but I still love you."
He shook his head, chuckling lightly, before stepping closer. "You're lucky you're cute when you're drunk."
"You still love me, though," I teased,
"Yeah, I do," he admitted, his expression softening. "But let's get you back to the party before you start loving everyone."
I laughed again, “How about you just let me love you..” I pushed Matt back as he stumbled onto the bed.
“y/n don't… you're drunk.” Matt said as I walked towards him, placing myself on his lap.
“Just shut the fuck up Matt and kiss me” 
And when he finally gave me what I wanted, his lips crashing against mine as he moved against me, the world disappeared. There was only Matt—his touch, his voice, his everything. 
Matt’s hands gripped my hips, his hold firm but controlled, as if he was grounding himself as much as he was grounding me. 
His body was flush against mine, every inch of him radiating heat. “Wait till tomorrow,” he murmured, his lips brushing against mine, teasing but not giving me the kiss I desperately wanted. “I refuse to fuck you this drunk, y/n. And you are making it oh so hard”
“Shut up,” I whispered, tugging at his hair to start kissing his neck as I grinded my hips into his.
His hands roamed over my body, exploring every curve, every inch of skin he could reach. His touch was both gentle and possessive, a reminder that in this moment, I was his and his alone.
“Get off me before I go against all my morals,” he said, his voice rough and full of promise. “I say full of love and respect.” he moaned out as I perfected my last hickey on him.
“There, I just needed you to shut up so I could show people. You belong to someone” I said as I leaned back looking at my work.
“Good to know.” Matt said as he leaned down, starting his own art peace on my chest. 
Once he was finished he grabbed my hips standing me up. “Lets go baby” He grabbed my hand pulling me towards the door. I stopped in the mirror fixing my hair and seeing Matt's two hickeys, one on each breast. Matt walked over to the mirror inspecting the couple I left trailing down his neck. “God you are so sexy” He said, kissing my cheek as he guided me out to the party. 
As Matt and I stepped back into the party, the loud music and chatter hit me like a wave. The room felt like it was spinning a little, but I held onto Matt's arm for balance. We were just about to make our way back to the group when Chris spotted us from across the room.
He ran over with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "There you are," he said, stopping in front of us. His eyes flicked between Matt and me before landing on me. "Y/N, I need you bad."
My eyebrows shot up, and Matt's posture immediately tensed beside me, sensing something was off. Chris, however, seemed entirely unfazed by the undercurrent of tension.
"I'm sorry," Chris said with a playful shrug, glancing over at Matt, "No, not like that anymore. I need you as my beer pong partner." He laughed realizing how bad his first sentence sounded.
Matt's grip on my arm tightened, but before I could even ask what he meant, Chris waved a hand dismissively and added with a wink, I couldn't help but laugh, feeling the tension ease a bit. "You scared me for a second there," I joked, shaking my head at Chris.
Matt let out a small laugh too, his shoulders loosening as he realized it was just Chris being his usual, over-the-top self. "Yeah, she’s off-limits for now," Matt said, his tone affectionate but teasing. "But you can have her for beer pong."
Chris grinned and pulled me toward the game, but not before giving Matt a quick look. "Don't worry, I only need her to win this game. And you," he added, glancing at me, "are the best person for the job."
"Let’s do it then," I said, grinning and ready to dive into the chaos of the game, trying to push any lingering doubts aside.
Chris, despite being a bit too drunk to focus, had an energy that was hard to ignore. He bounced on his feet, grinning like a madman as he lined up to take his first shot. “Alright, we got this, Y/N,” he said with way too much confidence, raising his beer.
Across from us, Jake and Tara stood ready, both giving us playful smirks. Tara was already holding her own drink, clearly just as drunk as me, while Jake had a look of determination on his face, obviously eager to win. “You’re going down,” Jake said with a laugh, tossing the ping pong ball up and readying himself to launch it across the table.
Nick and Matt stood off to the side, cheering us on. Nick was practically jumping up and down in excitement, while Matt pushed himself off the wall, going behind me whispering in my ear. "Come on, Baby" 
The game started off slower than I expected, with Chris getting distracted by anything and everything—whether it was a drink on the table or someone else at the party walking by. But even in his drunken state, he was surprisingly good. Tara missed her first few shots, but Jake was still hitting his, making me sweat a little. I had to focus, but thankfully, Chris and I managed to keep our heads in the game.
We took turns, and each time, I felt the tension rise. Tara and Jake had their competitive energy going, but it was clear Chris and I had the upper hand—probably because Tara and Jake were having more fun than they were serious about winning. Chris finally got it together after a few more missed throws, throwing his ball with incredible force and sinking it into one of the last cups.
“Fuck yeah!” Chris shouted, stumbling and almost tipping over. I had to grab him to stop him from falling off balance.
In the final round, it came down to one last shot. Jake was up, and I knew he was going to give it everything he had. He took a deep breath, lined up his shot, and threw the ping pong ball—only for it to bounce off the rim and miss entirely. The room fell silent for a second before Chris and I erupted into cheers.
“We did it!” I yelled, laughing as Chris grabbed me in a half-hug and spun me around. “I can’t believe we won!”
Nick and Matt, who had been watching from the sidelines, immediately started clapping and cheering. “FINALLY!” Nick shouted, high-fiving Chris.
Tara and Jake laughed good-naturedly, though I could tell they were a little disappointed. “Alright, alright, you guys earned it,” Jake said, tossing a playful glare in our direction.
An hour had passed, and the energy of the party was starting to get to me. I could feel the buzz starting to wear off, and I was ready to head home. I looked over at Matt, who was leaning against the wall, talking to Nick. He caught my eye, and I gave him a small nod, silently telling him I was ready to go.
I walked over to him, tapping him on the shoulder. "Matt, I think it's time to head home," I said, trying to keep the smile on my face, but feeling the exhaustion from the party creeping in. The lights were too bright, the music a little too loud, and I just wanted to go back to the comfort of my place.
Matt nodded, his hand immediately finding mine. "Alright, let's get out of here," he said, pulling me toward the door. We waved to Tara and a few others as we made our way out of the party and into the cool night air.
Nick, who went to get Chris and Charlie, was already making his way to the car, pulling Chris and Charlie along with him. We all piled into the car, with Matt driving, me in the passenger seat, and the rest of the crew in the back. The ride was mostly quiet, everyone content in their own thoughts after a long night.
As we drove through the city streets, I could feel the tension finally easing. The party was fun, but there was something about heading home with Matt, knowing the night was winding down. I leaned my head against the window, watching the streetlights blur past as we made our way home.
Matt glanced over at me, a small smile on his face. "You good?" he asked, his voice soft.
"Yeah," I replied, smiling back at him. "Just ready to be alone with you."
We drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence, the sounds of the car and the occasional laugh from the backseat filling the air. The night had been eventful, but now all I wanted was the peace of being home with Matt.
tag-
@tbfaptbfae @ch0lliess @2muchofaslvt @rockstarchr1s @simply-a-simper @mattscore @watercolorskyy @urfungi @slut4christopherr @mattsturnii @christmastreecake @izzylovesmatt @larnieboox88 @christophersstar @realuvrrr @namelesssav @matts-girlfriend
70 notes · View notes
sslovqm · 3 days ago
Text
YOU DON'T BELONG TO ANYONE ELSE
Tumblr media
WARNING: Contains extreme jealousy, possessiveness, manipulation, and toxic relationship dynamics.
THE warm afternoon breeze brushed against your face as you waited for Rafe Cameron on the dock by his house. You had rehearsed this moment over and over, going through the words in your head, trying to find the best way to tell him that whatever this was between you two needed to end. But now that you were here, with your stomach tied in knots, it seemed like no words were enough.
When you heard the roar of his motorcycle engine cut off, your heart skipped a beat. You watched him approach with his usual confidence, hands in his pockets, an expression of curiosity mixed with that arrogance that always seemed to follow him.
“Why so serious?” he asked, a half-smile playing on his lips, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“We need to talk, Rafe.”
His smile vanished instantly, replaced by a dark look you knew all too well.
“About what?” he asked, though it seemed like he already knew the answer.
You took a deep breath, trying to summon the courage that seemed to waver with every step he took closer to you.
“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do us anymore, Rafe.”
His reaction was immediate. His brows furrowed, and he stepped closer so fast that you instinctively stepped back.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m saying this doesn’t work. You don’t work, Rafe. You’re… you’re jealous, controlling, and you don’t even have the guts to tell anyone we’re together.”
Rafe let out a dry laugh, devoid of any humor.
“That’s what this is about? That I won’t make it public? Really?”
You looked at him firmly, even though you were shaking inside.
“It’s not just that. It’s everything. You don’t let me breathe, Rafe. You’re always asking where I am, who I’m with. You treat me like I’m your property, and I’m not anyone’s.”
That seemed to ignite something in him, something dangerous.
“Oh, really?” he shot back, his voice low and chilling—sending shivers down your spine. “Because you seemed pretty comfortable being mine up until now.”
“I wasn’t. I was scared of you.”
The words slipped out before you could stop them, and the truth in them seemed to hit him like a slap. For a moment, the fury in his eyes wavered, but only for a second.
“This is about him, isn’t it?” he spat, his voice rising a notch. “About those damn Pogues. Is it Maybank? Of course, it’s him. That bastard always looks at you like he wants to rip your clothes off.”
“This has nothing to do with JJ!” you shouted, desperate to make him understand. “This is about you. About what you make me feel.”
Rafe stayed silent, but his jaw was clenched, and his fists were tight at his sides. Then he stepped closer, his face just inches from yours.
“You’re not leaving, Y/N. I’m not letting you go.”
“You don’t have the right to decide that, Rafe.”
“You’re mine,” he insisted, his voice filled with a fervor that sent a chill down your spine. “And if you think I’m going to sit back while you run into that Pogue’s arms, you’re dead wrong.”
You stepped back, trying to put some distance between you, but he wouldn’t let you. His hand shot out, gripping your wrist tightly and forcing you to look at him.
“Let me go, Rafe.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, but don’t push me.”
Your heart pounded as you tried to free your hand, but his grip was unrelenting. Finally, you managed to pull away, stepping back a few feet as you looked at him with tears in your eyes.
“This isn’t love, Rafe. And no matter how hard you try to hold on, I’m not staying.”
His gaze darkened even further, and for a second, you feared what he might do. But then, he just stood there, watching you as you turned around and walked away, feeling his stare burning into your back.
You knew this wasn’t the end, that Rafe Cameron wasn’t the type to let go of what he thought was his. But for the first time in a long time, you felt like you’d reclaimed a little bit of your freedom.
120 notes · View notes
nowimjustastranger · 2 days ago
Note
Hello; I'm really interested in your Infinity Falls au.
I was wondering if we could know more about Dipper and Mabel; do they stay in Gravity Falls full time? What do they mostly do? What're their personalities like that makes them sort of 'darker' then the typical Dipper and Mabel?
No, they don't live in Gravity Falls. Their parents have joint custody of the Pines twins even after the divorce, so they switch off on which parent they stay with until summer, which they spend in Gravity Falls. If there's ever talk of them staying with one of the parents/going elsewhere for the summer, they immediately call their Grunkles. Stan will then talk to the other parent and get them on his side before calling the current problem parent, dude is a master manipulator. No matter what, he's getting his fucking kids for three months.
There was only one memorable occasion that Ford got involved, and that was after the Pines twins had been signed up for a fancy summer camp that cost a fair amount of money when the kids were nine years old. Stan had smashed up the house in his rage when both parents agreed that too much money had been spent to simply not have them go since refunds weren't an option. Fiddleford had fetched Ford from the sub-basement before getting to work calming Stan down, the man inconsolable.
Stan's distress had put Ford in a downright nasty mood, so he ended up having a short and succinct conversation with the parents, assuring them that he would reimburse them for what they spent on the summer camp with interest. And the prospect of extra money had them agreeing to send the kids to Gravity Falls for the summer. Ford did warn them that should this happen again, then they'd never see another penny from him. Basically, he starts bribing the parents with a sum of money to ensure that they send the kids to Gravity Falls every summer.
But, once the Pines twins turn 18, they'll be moving to Gravity Falls permanently and Ford will cut all ties with and funds to the kids' parents. And, for making Stan so distressed and anxious every June after that one incident, Ford would even go as far to make their lives more difficult by pulling some strings.
Tumblr media
In terms of personality, I basically just took their pre-existing personalities and gave them an unhinged edge.
Take Mabel for example, she hides her extremely manipulative and destructive nature under a bubbly and disarming demeanor. She's still very chaotic and impulsive, which is tempered only by her loyalty and devotion to her family. When it comes to her friends and family, her occasional manipulation is obvious. She doesn't try to hide it and will proudly confess to manipulating them if confronted, but her manipulation is ultimately harmless when it comes to her loved ones. She usually only manipulates her loved ones for their own benefit, looking out for them in her own way.
Ford is pulling all nighters again when Stan takes Dipper camping (and also to scout for new creatures)? Mabel will break out the crocodile tears and play the nightmare card to get Ford to cuddle on the sofa with her and watch an animal documentary. It only takes maybe half an hour before Ford is sleeping, aggressively snuggling Mabel. Stan starts drinking more and getting out of the house less after Ford and Fiddleford go to yet another science convention for two weeks? Mabel will ask Stan to take her places, just spending time with him. She'll even get Dipper in on it if Stan is particularly bad.
Dipper, on the other hand, is both cunning and calculating. Dipper can read people and situations then use the information he gathers to his advantage, tilting the scales in his favor. He's very aloof and cold to those outside of his social circle, distrusting of others and their intentions. Dipper isn't afraid to get his hands dirty either, perfectly willing to fight if the circumstances call for it. Dipper isn't quite as controlled as Ford, his emotions still get the better of him, so someone is always around to make sure no one can witness his temporary vulnerability.
Tumblr media
Dipper's affection and care is far more subtle than Mabel's since he focuses more on the little things. Ford and Fiddleford never run out of coffee during the day, Dipper keeping the coffee machine running and changing out the grounds for fresh ones when needed. If Stan forgets to do a chore or two around the house because the Mystery Shack is having a busy day, Dipper will do whatever needs doing for him. Dipper keeps his shared room with Mabel clean and tidy, ensuring that Mabel can find all her knitting and art supplies.
Dipper doesn't like not knowing things or not being in control (or at least informed) of situations, but Dipper wouldn't hesitate to blindly follow along with his sister or Grunkles whims due to the absolute loyalty and trust he has for his immediate family.
28 notes · View notes
gayvecchio · 2 days ago
Text
I was inspired by this great post by @pigtailedgirl to share moments that cemented my love for the Fraser/Vecchio pairing.
I really do enjoy watching basically every interaction these two have, no matter how small, so choosing key moments is difficult. But here are a few moments that are never far from my mind and make me want to climb the walls whenever i think about them.
In no particular order...
Tumblr media
The diner scene in the pilot where they both talk about their respective fathers. Also, how did Ray know Fraser was there? Was the diner near the consulate? Did Ray just wander around looking for him???
Tumblr media
OMGGGG!!! Ray's smile after Fraser tells him he doesn't want him to go. He's so happy that Fraser wants him stay, especially since Fraser has been so depressed (understandably so) and distant in the hospital. The cracks are mending. Their relationship is healing. (So many MOMENTS in this ep -- Ray taking a bullet for Fraser anyone??? Even Stevens?)
Tumblr media
This scene. THIS SCENE in Pizza and Promises. Fraser's quiet desperation throughout when the car is sinking and Ray is in the trunk. I think it's the first time we see Fraser really ruffled, scared for someone else, for Ray. He is usually so composed no matter the danger of the situation, but I think that's when he feels in control of it to some degree, which he doesn't here. This time Ray is in danger and it wasn't a part of Fraser's plan. For the first time Fraser is confronted with the idea of losing Ray and realizing that Ray is someone he is terrified to lose.
The way he grips his arm arm here, the intense expression asking if Ray's okay. And then Ray's dazed, smitten little smile when he says "yes." He's used to Fraser being the hero, but this time he is Ray's hero. Maybe he sees a bit of what I do in Fraser's expression, sees just how important he really is to Fraser.
This was the moment that made me whisper "oh, no!" to myself because I knew I'd never be the same. I knew I was becoming lost to the Fraser/Vecchio void and there was no way back.
Tumblr media
This one is not strictly a F/V scene, but yes it is. Because I still not and will never be convinced that this whole conversation in Heaven & Earth isn't about Ray being in love with Fraser. And the fact that Fraser is there eavesdropping!!! (never getting that merit badge back now, Benny).
I've ranted about this before and I'm sure I will again, but Ray's behavior in this whole episode just make no sense to me unless he is jealous. The whole speech about Ray being afraid to dream and reach out for what he wants and FRASER'S RIGHT THERE, so close but impossible to touch.
Tumblr media
Fraser running after Ray in the style of many classic romantic heroes before him. COME ON!
Tumblr media
North is like god-tier F/V goodness from start to finish, but this moment with Ray carrying Fraser over his shoulder while SINGING AND DANCING is an absolute highlight. Insane behavior, 10/10. Perhaps, Ray is just thrilled to be so close to Fraser's butt despite the circumstances.
Tumblr media
Fraser and Ray doing their grocery shopping together is so special to me.
I'll end this with the scene from bdth. I have nothing to say. I'm sobbing too hard. Anyway, I think it speaks for itself. Even my mother could see that they were in love.
I have to cut myself off here otherwise this post will be a mile long. Even now I am thinking of so many other moments that I adore. I guess that's how I know how much I love them, every moment seems special. I didn't pick any of the smaller, sillier moments, like Fraser being offended by Ray running stop signs or running over saplings, or 'She shot you in the hat?' but I love those infinitely as well. That's the thing about Fraser and Vecchio, they work on every level, from the absurd to the devastating. Paul Gross and David Marciano's acting and chemistry carry every interaction and facet of the Fraser/Vecchio relationship so well that I can't help but enjoy every moment they're on screen together.
24 notes · View notes
deoidesign · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
56 notes · View notes
the-iron-queen · 11 hours ago
Text
So. Listen.
What this scene gave to me is that what happened totally ran out of Bison's control.
At first glance, yes, it makes sense that someone threatened to be shot will take their chances by jumping into the water. However.
Bison knows Kant as someone who always has an answer to everything, even if half of them are lies.
Bison at least somewhat knows Kant as an instinctual survivor, even if Kant doesn't directly show that side of himself to Bison.
Bison is at this point very sure he knows how Kant will react in a given moment, simply because his knee-jerk mode is always the same. He always has an answer, he always tries to appease, he will in any case reassure Bison of his own feelings for him, no matter the situation.
So all of this put together, for Bison it was 100% to be expected that Kant would reassure him, and even more important react to him beyond a "please calm down".
I know people have slightly different interpretations of why Kant was checked out so hard, so I am going on my own interpretation here. I know from personal experience what having a deep-sitting trauma being triggered feels like - and i don't even know how bad it must be with flashbacks triggered, which Kant seemed to experience as well. To me, that's what I saw happening with Kant. His mind was so consumed by his trauma and fear at that moment that he wasn't able to deal with Bison, or the gun, or the questions.
And while Bison probably used his knowledge of Kant generally being afraid of the ocean to put more pressure on him while holding him at gunpoint and questioning him, he pretty sure didn't expect to have the situation go out of hand so easily. Overall he set the situation up to be able so that he would be able to interrogate Kant (even if it was only about his feelings, but he might have pressed for motives etc if he actually had gotten any answers). But Kant only asked him for Bison to please take him away from the situation at hand, and beyond that he didn't get any answers, he didn't get any reactions beyond Kant being scared to death - but the primary source of that fear was pretty obviously not himself.
Bison being already incredibly frustrated and hurt and betrayed and probably incredibly conflicted over what to do with Kant and especially the situation defaulted to threats, because that is probably how he usually gets answers.
Kant meanwhile had most of his mind being eaten by the incredible despair of being faced with the full force of his (most likely completely untreated) trauma, and in such moments it's hard to even grasp a proper thought, or follow your usual instincts. And when faced with a command at gunpoint by the person he both loves and betrayed so badly, it was probably the easiest to relent, to give in and take that step to just have things end somehow. Standing up to being shot would probably have needed resolve that he didn't have anymore at that moment. So he jumped.
I am 100% sure that Bison didn't expect that, based on every way he knows Kant. And we know that Bison is a person who needs control. This situation though that by all means should have been completely under his control spiraled out of said control so fast that Bison wasn't able to stop it.
I honestly wouldn't be the tiniest bit surprised if the first thing that Bison will do next episode is throw away the gun, dive after Kant and try to rescue him while asking him why he jumped, why he didn't fight back over and over and over.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Khaotung Thanawat as Bison (The Heart Killers, 2024-2025)
215 notes · View notes
dykedvonte · 10 months ago
Text
Ulysses obsession with the Courier is a special type of sad to me cause the Courier’s part was so important but so unwitting. They had no idea what was in the package they delivered and neither did he. Neither had an idea of what it could’ve done and the Courier was only caring out their job (mind you the Courier could be killed via notes in the express contract if they don’t). To them it was just another regular delivery to the divide and one that they likely thought would help, just like all the ones before.
It’s so tragic for Ulysses to hold so much ire to the Courier when it really was the case of it could’ve been anyone. Anyone could have delivered that package but they did and so he focused the blame on them and it destroys what he is trying to instill in the courier on a fundamental level.
#like yeah the courier delivered the package but in the end that’s a job#any random courier could’ve delivered it especially since we know in the past the factions were farther apart and this travel was a smidge#safer but courier six got it and this Ulysses blamed them#like I don’t care much for Ulysses because I think lonesome road embodies don’t shoot the messenger at it core#and what people focus on doesn’t focus on the fact that in the bigger picture#everything went wrong because two factions were at war and at some point the codes would have been delivered#and the divide destroyed cause with how close it is to NCR territory it would of been found#like there is an inevitable and too many people treat Ulysses as if he knows more or is more aware of the idiosyncrasies of conflict#when he’s like fundamentally flawed just at the standard of being a legion apologist STILL and just how focused he is on one persons#involvement cause yeah choices matter even the small one but I think Veronica’s quest says it best with a line from the courier#you can’t control what they do#like the courier couldn’t and can’t control what they deliver and yet it’s got them in hot water multiple times#like do you think they enjoy being shot or knowing they are indirectly responsible for activating the annihilation of a community#to me it’s hypocrisy to be willing to end the world or one world to prove a point and whatever argument made that only military factions#suffer forget there are innocent civilians suffering that had no part and Ulysses is no better than the Courier#I don’t like devils advocate and a lot of the dlc just feels like that but idk I know people love it but the depth is just not there for mr#ulysses fnv#fallout#fallout new vegas#courier six#the courier#lonesome road#the courier has very little personality outside what we give them but some lines and delivery paint a picture#like uhhhh undertale deltarune rules ig
121 notes · View notes
pinacoladamatata · 1 year ago
Text
"if you fancy Astarion, you might want to consider therapy. He's so damaged I must have him! Enjoy the fantasy and then call a therapist. It's a two step thing and it's very important you do both." - Amelia Tyler what do your narrator eyes see? 😂😂😂
#ohohooooohoo the little random tidbits devs and voice actors have dropped about his companion arc is making me NERVOUS#just throwin out some meta thoughts here#in order for astarion to *get rid of* the tadpole; cazador *has* to die first. like i'll bet my left tit this is conditional#since cazzy is apparently a control freak he might be enemies w the mindflayers/absolute cult bc ''bleh bleh my city''#i think its entirely possible that we could ally w cazador against the absolute; this would like have to result in astarion attacking tav#im just worried it might be like; you have to at least temporarily side w the absolute if you kill cazzy?#idk! idk!#and like i do think there will probably be a 3rd option of like 'i hate both these groups kill them both' but man.#and then there's whatever is going on w his ''this soul is not for sale except in the realm of the undead'' stamp#like are we gonna have to go the there? wherever the fuck that is?#pls amelia i am begging on my knees i need a sign! of hope!#bc now the hug and hand holding in the trailer is making me think larian is trying to trick me into believing he'll be okay#only to hit me with a devastating ending(s) no matter what#idk. man. i read astarion's writer was fanes writer. idk dos2 but like i am aware of what......happened w that 'romance'#pls i need a sign larian#i am so sick of the bioware style romances! the morrigans! the solases ! the unresolved endings of it all! ENOUGH#i want closure from this i am begging#for once in my life i just want closure for a video game romance ending#i JUST THINK LIKE ideally. for me. he'd have at least 1 ending where he's not cured but lives happily ever after*#i am having a hard time picturing him cured of vampirism. tbh. but if it's possible without him immediately dying then. well hats off#its 2 AM here i need to knock it tf off and go to bed#........unless.....yall want to enable me and discuss this further#i am 1 more bad day away from writing a thesis on this in MLA format istg
68 notes · View notes
krbkss · 1 year ago
Text
mha 395
has anyone brought this up yet </3
Tumblr media Tumblr media
27 notes · View notes
dasketcherz · 1 day ago
Text
oh my god this is SO GOOD omggg crying shaking sobbing eating up every single paragraph, this analysis is so scrumptious and I would like to add more in the discussion cuz this certainly stirred thoughts I had as well about their dynamic so (clears throat)
Hugo's 100% the type of person who would rationalize his emotions rather than just actually let himself feel and process them for what they are in a healthy manner because confronting those raw feelings terrifies him. And so many things factored to him developing this tendency—for 1) he's forced to grow up too soon too fast cuz his situation in life demands it, 2) he loves to figure how things fundamentally work which includes studying people, what makes them tick & how they think & act & behave, etc (a necessity he has to have to navigate his way around his line of work as a con man) and analyzing himself is no exception, so him trying to immediately pin point as to what and why he feels this way about things is him attempting to regain control of himself 3) because to quote his creator, "He doesn't like doing anything that would make him feel like he didn't have control of himself or the situation."—for the longest time he's convinced himself that it's not safe to feel his emotions because it leaves oneself vulnerable and that's the last thing he wants to deal with right now. Especially in the harsh world he lived in, that's like a death wish.
I also 100% agree with Hugo's tendency to call people by nicknames as a means to create and maintain distance from forming any sort of attachment to people. Definitely a defensive mechanism. And it's through his time with team radical, for the first time, did the nicknames he give people turn from distant detachment to genuine affectionate nicknames overtime. (And I love to think Varian got slightly influenced by that and he was the first person to ever call him "Hugh" as an affectionate nickname and it feels hella intimate to Hugo it drives the man crazy lowkey)
"They are both scientists, but one is more afraid of the results than the other."—is a really interesting observation to point out as well. Hugo being afraid of the results that deviates from what's expected speaks so much volume to how when you're working for someone like Donella—there's no room for errors, you don't have the luxury to make mistakes because that risks you of being put on the chopping block of getting replaced in her book—and that's a constant reminder at the back of Hugo's mind that keeps him in line (exactly the way Don wants him to).
And he concluded that deeply liking Varian was a mistake (on top of his issues of dealing with his own feelings like god please help this man), because he knows what's coming, he knows what he has (and is expected by Donnie) to do at the end of the road. He thinks it's wrong to get attached to the team, it's wrong to fall in love with Varian...but it's also wrong to hurt him (and the others) by betraying them, but it's wrong to betray Donella, his lifelong mentor, over team radical too—he feels so stuck, everyfuckingthing feels so wrong and it's eating him alive every day.
I also absolutely love the notion that Varian is the more assertive one between them, he's the one who usually initiates and that really checks out for his character cuz we see that trait in the show from him, yknow... if taking matters into his own hands was anything to go by from s1. Hugo being the more compliant one also makes sense, cuz that approach saved his ass from getting into serious troubles in the past. It's a survival tactic that has been embedded in him really. However, that difference makes them such a good team. Varian develops to be more brave and confident with his experiments because he knows Hugo would be right there to follow through by him—he trusts Hugo like he's his safety net. And in turn, Hugo develops to be okay with relying on others and counting on them when he doesn't have to deal with something alone. Their dynamic builds trust exercise for the two of them and it's oh so beautiful.
And lastly, Varian being the type who wants clear answers really nudges Hugo to be more honest with him and himself, especially when Varian can tell when he's lying or not (cuz two can play that game babey). Hugo's not the best when it comes to communicating himself to others but Varian is very understanding and patient with him and he nurtures the moments when Hugo chooses to be honest because small progress is still progress, especially knowing that the notion can be hard for Hugo who never had a proper support system (outside of Olivia) growing up. Hugo finally has a healthy outlet to process his feelings because he has Varian to help him figure stuff out and vice versa.
Also the way Hugo has always resort to lying and running away (from his problems, from his feelings, from any sort of trouble in life) but for once in his life chooses to stay for Varian because he finally chooses to be honest with himself and accept the truth that he actually genuinely wants to be with him just leaves me screaming and crying and sobbing and dear GOD they're just so perfect for each other, somebody please sedate me right now
I really like analyzing Varigo, one thing I've noticed recently is how different their approach to romance (and human connections in general) really is, but also how they're pretty much the perfect foils in this regard.
Varian grew up sheltered away in their mansion. He didn't have much clue about socializing, so when Rapunzel came to him, he gives all of them proper respect (calling Rapunzel "Princess", Eugene "Flynn Rider", as in the full name). You could assume it's because of his dad; later when the two confronted each other, Varian called him "Sir". Probably because Quiring taught him to be respectful of others, and they both clearly take this social rule rather seriously.
So then Cassandra comes in and saves Varian, for apparently no selfish reasons. She likely just didn't want to have a child get crushed when she could've prevented it, but to Varian, this changes his view on people. Cassandra isn't just a distant figure to respect; instead, someone he could have a connection with. And this is where one of Varian's most essential traits come to light: when comfortable, he treats situations like an experiment. He immediately starts calling her by a nickname, "Cassie", to see how she would react. At the day of the expo, he keeps trying out different tactics, trying to essentially just get close to Cassandra. One could Interpret this romantically, but I personally like to think he just really wanted a friend. A lonely kid, seeing someone cool show any kind of affection for him immediately made him go "there could be something here! I need to find out!", and so he does. In his own, nerdy way.
Hugo, on the other hand. He, unlike Varian, grew up having to socialize all the time. Having to talk his way out of situations constantly, he learned to put up walls so that the most desirable results come out, benefiting him and his missions. When he weasels his way into the Team, he also calls them nicknames. In his case, it stems from a need to distance himself from people, so that he doesn't get attached. One slight exception though is Varian, as Hugo seemingly not only uses nicknames on him to keep up built-up walls, but to get a reaction out of him. This is very similar to how Varian approached Cassandra when he was younger. He's interested in Varian from early on, and he handles this in his good old Hugo fashion, because he finds Varian entertaining. Varian at first doesn't trust Hugo, but when he proves himself trustworthy, he gives in. He's willing to reach out, making Hugo more than a means to an end. Eventually, the two become friends! Then more than friends!
And then, their approaches change.
I'd like to think that it was Hugo, who fell first. Or at the very least, he's the first to realize it, and he HATES THIS. His flight or flight is activated, and he really wants to flee. He's the type to ignore his feelings, try to bury them. That's all he knows how to do, really. Especially because for what could be the first time in his life, he's actually falling for someone who is his friend. Someone who means a lot to him! He wouldn't want to ruin things, especially because he knows that betraying Variant will break the guy's heart, once he finds out. Therefore, the less pain, the better.
Varian is the exact opposite of this. It takes him a long time to figure out what he feels, and that it could be romantic (he didn't exactly have the history with romance before. The "puppy crush" on Cassandra could have easily been more of an obsession with the possibility of someone showing affection towards him). But once he realizes that there's a chance that the two could be a thing? He doesn't have to think hard about what his next step should be: he likes Hugo, and he's a scientist. Trial and error is practically in his blood at this point, so if there's even a small possibility of them getting together? That Hugo likes him back? Varian will do anything to find out how probable his theory is. And so, once again, he treats the situation like an experiment. Wasting no time, he tries to confess or bring up the idea as quickly as possible. And Hugo FREAKS OUT. He's not ready!
Varian's other big trait is his stubbornness. He's not satisfied with an uncertain answer. He wants to know Hugo's view on them, as clearly as possible. So he keeps poking around, trying to find an approach that brings out different reactions, different answers as to why Hugo would be scared of them being together. Again. Really similar to how he treated Cassandra at the expo back then. This is the only way he knows how, though. And he needs clear answers.
He gets one at the last trial. Boom. Heartbreak. This isn't about angst though, so I'll end it here.
I find them so interesting. How their upbringing influenced their view and approach to people, to friendship, to romance. To each other. They are both scientists, but one is more afraid of the results than the other.
So it all boils down to the importance of clear communication: another big theme in Vat7k, what with Ulla and Donella setting an example as what not to do.
I could ramble about these characters for ages, but yeah. This is my view on them, I loooove reading different Interpretations in fan fiction though!
99 notes · View notes