#and in the case where the third party tells me I'm right‚ I don't become appreciably smugger/madder. so it's all upside for my personality

[etirabys]

me to my boyfriend, after a knives-in-dishwasher argument with my husband: Look. I know you're not supposed to use polyamory this way. But I need you to tell me who's right.

[apollosunshineisdead]

my favorite lyric or two from every will wood song

Everything is a Lot:

6up 5oh: "they shoulda fried me, I'll give ya PTSD!"

skeleton Appreciation Day: "give me all your LSD so i can feel my mind unweave again!"

front Street: "you said let loose, but now you're lost"

aikido!: "i told doctor tillis to prescribe an illness, but he said his schedule's filled with children with need Prozac, prilosec and lo-jack, triple-sec and lexapro"

white Knuckle Jerk: "i wonder how i woke up in the middle of my surgery, and i watched them botch my heart"

cover This Song!: "i'm just a little bit crazy 'bout you, just a little bit out of my mind"

Thermodynamic Lawyer: "so all that i see, absolute entropy as the chemical bounds fall apart"

red Moon: "the crescent rests, tethered to the west"

lysergide Daydream: "ooh, i wanna be on the picture on the postcard, pouring pitchers in the backyard by the garden we tend"

the First Step: "i lost count after 21 in the college crawl"

jimmy Mushrooms': "i think the truth is that everyone's wrong!"

Compound Fracture: "bienvenidos a la villa de arañas españas"

everything is a Lot: "night sky, i wonder why i am alive until i die / i find that at this size, no answer can be right"

destroy to Enjoy: "lao tzu, chaung tzu, yin-yang tattoos, FUCK your mystic wisdom! find your own way home from Bonnaroo!"

SELF-iSH:

self-: "i'll shake the apples from my family tree, so when the autumn comes to take the leaves..."

2012: "testing my hypothesis, never finding a theory!"

cotard's Solution: "rolling my third eye into the back, of my head and squinting through the black"

mr. Capgras: "eulogy or biography, i'm who i ought to be, and that is God to me"

the Song with 5 Names: "WHAT IS "IS"? WHAT IS "NOT"? WHAT IS "WHAT"? WHAT'S UP PARTY PEOPLE! WHAT? / WHY I WONDER WHY I'M NOT WHATEVER, WHAT THE FUCK!"

hand Me My Shovel: "looking up, i could say Heaven sent me! / hand me my shovel, i'm going in!"

dr. Sunshine is Dead: "i'm noone if i'm nowhere in between!"

-ish: "well at 27 will i see, that i was born to be the man i'll be?"

The Normal Album:

greetings from Mary Bell Township!: "so give me your half-life crisis / i can tell that you know where paradise is!"

(vampire) Culture: come on, drink that BLOOD! didn't they want your blood?

Love Me, normally: the Lord looked down, said, "hey, you're only mortal"

2econd 2ight 2eer: "my grip on the secrets' slippin' while i'm speakin' in tongues!"

laplace's Angel: "so if you wash your hands of where you've been until you flood the second floor / neatly fold your skeletons, but still can't shut the closet door"

i/Me/myself: "eating your prosthetic, meet your anesthetic"

...well, better than the Alternative: "she's gonna be a lot like me, but i don't wanna be at all like me"

outliars And Hyppocrates: "i am the shadows cast aside by gallows, and you, the red hot sky"

blackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA: "his ribcage was a hornet's nest, his palpitations set the beat!"

marsha, thankk you for the Dialects: "doctor, what's my prognosis if the studies show that / disease is in the eye of the beholder, tell me "so it goes!""

love, Me Normally: "is there nothing to fear, cuz shit's getting weird!"

memento Mori: "no need to fear cuz when it's Here you won't be alive / try not to think about it!"

Camp Here & There: Campfire Songs:

venetian Blind Man: "string on his finger, a tourniquet ring"

yes, to err is Human: "if you don't hate me, then reanimate me!"

your body, My Temple: "furthering the fever of your fervor for believing, I will"

when somebody Needs you: "fishing lure moon on a string for you, didn't you say you need space?"

"In Case I Make It,"

tomcat Disposables: "what's the moon made of? meet me there after i'm gone"

becoming The Lastnames: "weeding out the garden where the milestones gather moss"

Cicada Days: "here at the end of days, my god, what have I done? / christ, now it feels damn inhumane to get all i dreamed of"

euthanasia: "and every, everybody dies / fighting for their lives, just trying to survive"

falling Up: "airplane eclipses over spirals of math – would or could the impact kill me?"

that's Enough, let's get you Home: "but CO2 and fish tanks do enough to get you home"

um, it's Kind of a Lot: "sorry darling, please excuse my constant need to self-aggrandize!"

half-Decade Hangover: "but i can't make amends for things i can't remember"

vampire Reference in a Minor Key: "the seraphim on my shoulder, whispering "please don't turn your head""

you liked this: "Ten Red Flags that a Neurotypical Narcissist is Trauma Dump Gaslighting You into Sex-Negative Self-Abuse Emotional Labor and Internalised Reverse Racism Against Post-Modern Flat Earthers with Facts and Logic (Number Seven Will Destroy Your Family)"

the Main Character: "judge me by what my cover shows, author becomes beyond reproach"

Against the Kitchen Floor: "i'm not a good person, i'm barely a person at all"

Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll: "and i hate proving that i'm still human after all"

BFB's Blueberry Pie: " "

Willard!: "so gather 'round pandora's skinner's box, look through the one-way mirror / if you can see in shade's of grey, the colors are much clearer"

White Noise: "it begs the question just to tell you the answer!"

ICIMI outtakes:

misanthrapologist: "I hear your hear beating under the floorboards" and if i did, you deserved it: "that i really don't carе what you think or what you say, either that or I do way too much, oh well whatever, either way"

thank you for listening

[hopleii]

should've said no,

content: dazai x fem!reader, toxic relationship, lovebombing, gaslighting, manipulating, cheating, fighting, swearing, angst no comfort, kinda ooc but kinda not, semi-proofread, trashy writing

a/n: had a mental breakdown abt my ex so i was like 'our whole relationship would be a good story' so yeah!

you knew, you always knew that dazai had a way with women. he was handsome and charming, he could easily get any girl he wanted with just a few words, and that's how he got you.

a year ago, you went to a formal event with your friends. you were third-wheeling with them and their boyfriends, as expected. taking small sips out of your glass, enjoying the tart and sweet taste of wine, you sat there unaware that you had caught someone's eye.

"what's a pretty girl like you sitting alone here?" a feathery voice from behind you snapped you out of your thoughts, you turned back to see a brunette man with a handsome face, no, handsome was an understatement. he was gorgeous.

"my, my...you are indeed pretty," he says in a gentle voice as if you'd float away if he wasn't careful. you got a bit shy and looked away, averting your gaze to cover up the flustered look on your face. "hey...look at me." the man whined,

those were the exact same words he said that pulled you back to reality, stopping your sweet moment of reminiscing on the first time you both met, at a party, where you both danced the night away.

and now you barely even hold each other anymore, "y/n...look at me!" he yells as he grabs your chin to face him, "listen to me! god, what is going on with you?" he yells again.

oh...right. the two of you were in the middle of an argument, it all started off with a backhanded comment, now both of you are fighting in the middle of the night. "what's going on with me? what's going on with you!?" you yell back, "you've been staying out late and you don't even tell me why! don't you know how worried i get?"

"how many times do we need to talk about this...I'm out working okay!? I just got home and you're already yelling at me...give me a break, I've had a long day..." he groans as he adjusts the collar of his blouse, a habit he does when things get too heated. but as he adjusts his collar, something caught your eye, something red.

"what is that?" you asked, dazai's face went pale when he hears your question because he knew exactly what you were talking about, "what's what?" he replied, his tone becoming calmer and quieter to avoid suspicions

"that." you said as you walked over to him and pulled down his collar, lipstick marks.

you let go of his collar as you let out a quivering gasp, tears forming in your eyes. "b-baby...it's not what it looks like, okay!?" dazai gently grabs your shoulders before pulling you into a hug, trying to comfort you and stop you from crying, but instead, it only fueled your anger even more because you got to smell the cheap, floral perfume on him.

"it was for a case at the agency okay? i...i had to get information from someone a-and.." he paused, losing the words he was about to say when he saw your face stained with tears as you looked at him with disgust and betrayal. "baby...just trust me, okay? it was for a mission...nothing more, okay? you're the only one i love." he says as he tightened the hug, making soothing motions on your back to try and comfort you, to earn your trust again.

"believe me..please? I'm sorry I didn't tell you...forgive me please? forgive me if you love me, baby...you trust me, right? because you love me?" dazai shaked your shoulders gently, looking at you with pleading eyes, urging you to believe him.

but you were always an understanding girl, weren't you? you always gave people second chances. and that might've been the worst mistake you made.

"y/n..say something!" he shakes you again, "I..I believe you." you say with hesitation, to be honest, you didn't. but he loved you, right? just like he said in that party a year ago...he loved you.

"r-really? I'm glad...you're not mad at me, right? you don't hate me?" he sighed, relief washing over him. his words made him seem so genuine, his face looked so innocent but there was still a part of you that didn't believe him at all. "fuck...you hate me, don't you?"

you get nervous at his words, your heart ached as he said that, "n-no! no, I believe you...I promise. nothing you do could ever make me hate you.."

dazai smiled softly and kissed you on the forehead, his mood shifting as if none of this happened.

months went by after this incident, he still came home late, some nights he didn't even come home. everytime you tried to talk to him about it, he'd get defensive and start yelling at you, calling you stupid to think that he was anywhere else but work, defending himself when all you did was ask him "where have you been?"

your friends warned you, your parents told you, your colleagues tried to talk to you but dazai had messed up your head so much that you were blinded by a false sense of love,

"so you'd rather listen to your friends than your own boyfriend!? why won't you trust me? y/n...come on, trust me!"

dazai's words echoed in your mind, you wanted to believe him. you wanted to trust that the man you loved wouldn't betray you, that there was a valid reason. his late nights turned into weekends away, excuses grew flimsier, and the distance between you widened with each passing day. yet, every time you tried to confront him, he would turn the tables, making you feel guilty for doubting him, for questioning his loyalty.

your friends' warnings fell on deaf ears, drowned out by dazai's promises of love and devotion. you clung to the hope that things would get better, that the man you fell for would return to you.

as the months passed, the weight of your doubts grew heavier, suffocating you with each passing day. you tried to bury them beneath layers of false assurances and forced smiles, but they refused to stay hidden for long.

the click of the door jolted you from your thoughts, but the sight of dazai didn't bring the relief you craved. his expression was unreadable, his eyes avoiding yours as he shuffled into the room.

"hey, i'm home," he mumbled, his voice barely audible above the silence that hung between you.

you opened your mouth to speak, to confront him, but the words caught in your throat. instead, you watched in silence as he moved past you, his presence heavy with unspoken truths.

"we need to talk," you finally managed to whisper, your voice trembling with emotion.

dazai's gaze flickered with guilt, and he nodded wordlessly, the weight of your words settling on his shoulders. you took a shaky breath, preparing yourself for the conversation that would shatter everything you thought you knew.

"hmm? okay..." he hummed as he sat down in front of you, "what did you wanna talk about, pretty? oh, before that, i got you a gift! do you like it?" he says as he presented you a big box of chocolates that would probably take you weeks to finish. he was always like this, wasn't he? showering you with love and gifts, burying you with compliments every time he knows you're about to slip away to make sure you shut up and forget about the messed up things he did.

"it's not about the chocolates, dazai," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

he frowned, confusion flickering across his features before he plastered on a charming smile. "of course, my love. what's on your mind? you know you can tell me anything," he said, his voice oozing with faux sincerity.

you took a deep breath, gathering the courage to lay bare the truth. "i know about the other women, dazai," you said, your voice trembling with suppressed emotion. "i know about the lies, where you've been going all these nights. i can't do this anymore."

for a moment, there was silence, the weight of your words hanging heavy in the air. and then, with a scoff, he leaned back in his chair, his smile slipping into a sneer.

"oh, is that what this is about?" he said, his tone dripping with condescension. "you really think you can just walk away from me? after everything I've done for you?"

"i deserve better than this, dazai," you whispered, your voice barely audible above the roaring storm of emotions inside you.

but he just laughed, a cold, mocking sound that sent shivers down your spine. "deserve better? you think anyone else would put up with you?" he spat, his eyes ablaze with contempt. "you're lucky to have me, y/n."

with a heavy heart, you rose from your seat, the weight of his words like chains around your ankles. you wanted to scream, to lash out at him for the pain he had inflicted, but you knew it would only fuel his cruel satisfaction.

instead, you turned away, your resolve hardening with each step you took toward the door. his laughter followed you, a haunting echo reverberated in the empty space between you.

"you'll be back," he called after you, his voice laced with venom. "you always come back."

© — hopleii

[hexpea]

Ch. 9 - Ignorant

As the afternoon droned on, Seiko managed to fall asleep. Their head fell back on the sofa and light snores escaped their throat as their mouth fell agape. You sighed to yourself, glad that they had found a moment of peace in whatever turmoil they were facing, at least you hoped. You took a moment to pull the blanket you shared up further onto them to keep them warm.

Just as you were about to settle back into the movie, your phone buzzed with a text message. You carefully reached for it, trying not to wake Seiko from their deep slumber. The text was from Ieiri.

Y/N! How dare you not tell me you were back in town? You chuckled at her scolding as you read her message. I had to find out from that blindfolded idiot!

You didn't hesitate to text her back. Sorry, Shoko, it was for personal stuff. I'm still in town for a while if you want to meet up.

Unacceptable. She wrote back. We're getting together tonight, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I'll make sure everyone's there. She was clearly referencing going drinking, something that you used to do separately from Gojo in the early days of your marriage. You and Ieiri both enjoyed the atmosphere, mostly people watching -- maybe some dancing. It was the only time you saw her usually calm and cool self evaporate into someone completely new.

"Hey, Seiko..." you gently shook Seiko awake. Their eyes groggily unstuck themselves, "I just got a message from Shoko. She's an old friend," you filled in the gaps, "she wants me to go out with our old classmates tonight. What do you think?"

Seiko's eyes continued to blink in order to adjust, quickly rubbing them so that they'd adjust quicker. "Clubbing, huh? Sounds like fun," they answered, their voice still sleepy, "you should go, Y/N. I'll be fine here."

You bit your bottom lip out of excitement. "Are you sure? I don't want to leave you alone," you invited.

Seiko gave a reassuring smile. "I'll be more than fine. I've got some ideas for myself already. You go enjoy your night."

You flattened your expression out of a bit of concern. With the subtle changes happening within Seiko, what could they be up to? Ignorantly, you decided to trust them in favor of going out with Shoko and the rest of your old classmates. You felt that you owed Seiko some blind trust after what had conspired the night before, even against your best interest. With a mixture of excitement and a hint of reluctance, you texted Shoko that you'd join them for a night of partying.

You eagerly got ready for your night while Seiko remained on the sofa, flicking through channels with a somber look on their face. You tried your best to keep them from your mind, knowing they'd come to you with whatever was bothering them at the right time...hopefully. You stayed focused on getting dolled up, missing Ieiri and the others dearly. You were happy to have a night of relief after all of the stress.

Since you mostly stayed behind and didn't really go on any missions during your time at the school, you spent a majority of your time with Ieiri and enjoyed spending time with the other classmates in general -- Nanami and Ijichi. Geto and Haibara were honorable mentions. Unfortunately, Haibara had passed away during your third year and Geto, you had no idea what had become of him since he became a curse user those years ago.

After a while, your Uber had arrived and you went to head out, making sure to give Seiko the name of the club you were going to just in case something were to happen. You didn't know where the night could lead you, especially considering the night before. You wanted to be a little footloose so getting a ride and letting Seiko know where you were going was a good way to cover your ass.

You nearly jumped out of the car as soon as it pulled over to your destination. The club looked active, people coming and going with large, drunken smiles on their faces. A few people were smoking just outside the door and others were making out in the nearby alleyway. You could already hear the music blaring through the open doorway as you made your way past the bouncer. Needless to say, you were excited!

The bass thumped through the club's dance floor as colorful lights danced overhead. Your heart raced as you looked around for your friends. Ieiri, Nanami, and Ijichi were all there, not to mention that stupid, familiar crop of white hair. He wasn't supposed to be there. You thought you had seen the last of him, but there he was, schmoozing with a clearly irritated Nanami as he sipped on some whiskey at the bar. Ieiri wasn't too far off, all smiles while dancing with a stranger and a lit cigarette dangling from her lips. Ijichi was with Nanami, quietly drinking a cocktail of his own and minding his own business.

"Hi!" You shouted over the music with a big smile to Ieiri while walking toward the bar. She greeted you back and happily followed you to the bar where you ordered a drink, body still moving to the music even as you walked. You needed it in order to get through the night if Gojo was going to be there.

"Long time, no see!" Ieiri smiled, speaking loudly over the music. She gave you a small hug, using just one arm to do so as the bartender placed your drink in front of you. She smelled of smoke and alcohol. "How have you been, Y/N?!"

You wasted no time in sucking down the drink in front of you and ordering a second before even answering Ieiri's question. The bubbly liquid burned on its way down, immediately warming your stomach with its intoxicating juices. "Wonderful!" You answered loudly and rolled your eyes, a heavy hint of sarcasm in your voice.

"That's good to hear!" She replied, not getting it. It was clear that she was already very drunk, sarcasm was something that could easily slip right by her in such a state. She was certainly in rare form, you loved this version of Ieiri and couldn't blame her.

"What's Satoru doing here? I thought it'd just be us," you asked her, cutting right to the chase and leaning a bit closer to her ear so you wouldn't have to shout so much.

As you asked, she glanced over at him. He was grinning and still talking Nanami's ear off. Based on his demeanor, you could tell he chose to stay sober this night. Your dinner was obviously a one-off situation for him drinking-wise. "I didn't tell him you were coming," she replied, "totally forgot to mention it. I just mentioned we were going out and he invited himself!" She laughed, snorting at her mistake. You rolled your eyes as she left your side to continue dancing.

After your second drink, you went and joined her on the dance floor. You happily swayed and jumped to the music that nearly vibrated through your skull with volume, schmoozing with strangers as the alcohol made you much more loose and talkative. Your face had even begun to hurt with the permanently wide smile plastered on your drunkenly red expression. 

When you'd had enough of the dancing and were ready for another drink, you meandered back to the bar to order. Your heart rate was sky-high with adrenaline, happy hormones flowed through your veins. There was no place you'd rather be.

Nanami was next to you, finishing the last of his drink. Gojo had finally left him alone to dance with Shoko. The two of you hadn't yet spoke a word to one another. Nanami ordered another drink with you as you began to make light conversation. From your school days, if you weren't with Ieiri you enjoyed time with him -- a sweet but stoic man who took everything way too seriously. You appreciated that about him, he was someone you could trust without question.

"I thought you'd quit!" You smiled at him as he held a flat expression despite the whiskey. You were asking about his choice to return to sorcery. "What brought you back to us?" You phrased the question as if you hadn't left the life behind either.

Nanami used his head to motion behind him where Gojo was dancing. He was spinning Ieiri as the two held the biggest of smiles, truly carefree. "I did quit, but he still won't leave me alone," Nanami answered, speaking loudly and sitting up in order to get closer to your ear. 

"Oh!" You nodded as he pulled away. You almost didn't even need his answer, Gojo was the obvious answer.

He was about to continue your conversation, his eyes had briefly flickered to your engagement ring. The whole community knew about your divorce filing dilemma, word traveling quickly by word of mouth. He had opened his mouth to ask when the devil himself had suddenly come to steal you away.

You felt as Gojo's arm slinked around your waist to slightly turn your body toward him, his own slightly pressed to yours. Nanami watched with an irritated expression. Despite being sober, he clearly had no restraint with his enjoyment in teasing you. He was using your inebriation to his advantage, though he knew it'd be fruitless -- he just like to get you riled up.

"Y/N!" He greeted you with a wide grin, expression bright despite the black blindfold. "Baby!" He chuckled and leaned forward to kiss your cheek.

You leaned away from him and placed your left hand gently on his chest, turning your cheek. He still managed to press a lingering peck, your face immediately turning even more red than it was already. "Satoru," you scolded as his lips were pressed to your cheek, "we're not doing this here." You couldn't help but laugh, the alcohol messing with your inhibitions yet again.

"Oh come on," he pouted sarcastically with a crooked grin, "you can't blame me for trying. You're irresistible, you know." He leaned toward your hear, hiding his face from Nanami, and whispered in your ear.

You rolled your eyes, though a small part of you couldn't help but smile at his persistence. "Smooth, as always."

Ieiri, who was now sitting on the other side of you, chimed in. "What happened with the divorce, you two? Clearly you're getting close now, that's for sure." She couldn't help but ask, asking exactly what Nanami wanted to know.

You were about to answer when Gojo quickly piped up to answer for you. "Don't worry!" He smiled, speaking over the music as Nanami and Ieiri both looked toward you with intrigue. "I signed them, you just have to file them, right, Y/N?" You felt his grip on your waist slightly tighten with interest, your heart raced even harder as memories of the night prior flooded your mind. Temptation was setting in yet again. The usual restraint you had was being heavily tested and for some odd reason, you found yourself failing.

"Ye-" you were about to confirm, surprised that he had told the truth despite his lascivious hold on you. 

"But don't worry, we're still the best of friends," he tauntingly leaned toward you once more, interrupting your answer. 

Nanami narrowed his vision at the two of you in suspicion. He hadn't yet heard about your new engagement, so he had automatically assumed the ring on your finger was your original. To him, something was still going on but the ring on your finger was definitely not the one from Gojo.

Ieiri raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Best friends, huh? That's one way to put it."

Nanami, who had been quietly observing the situation, couldn't hide his disapproval. He took a swig of the new drink in front of him. "Judging by the ring on her finger then," it now clicking for him, "you shouldn't be touching her like that."

Nanami's statement only triggered Gojo even more, a cocky grin sliding across his face as he gently grabbed your wrist from the hand that was on his chest. Your eyes widened in disbelief as he suddenly began pulling the ring from your finger, putting it in his pocket before placing your hand back to where it was.

"There," Gojo smirked, "problem solved. Happy, Nanamin?"

Nanami scowled at Gojo something fierce before looking toward you with an expression that read 'do you want me to do something about him?' You gave a weak smile as if to signal it was alright, the heat still very present in your face.

He sighed, realizing there was no point in further pursuing the issue. "I see you two have your own way of handling things," he muttered, a hint of exasperation in his voice as he took another sip.

Ieiri couldn't help but laugh at the exchange between you. "Well, this is certainly a lively reunion," she noted, enjoying the drama.

Gojo decided to ease the tension with a lighthearted remark. "Nanami's always been the overprotective type," he chuckled and looked back toward you, his face too close for comfort as he grinned.

Nanami rolled his eyes. "You're the one who tends to attract trouble."

[northwest-cryptid]

I do honestly think it's really interesting how willing people are to look past things they dislike when it's being used/done by someone they do, but they'll still attack individuals for the same shit.

Like "AI is bad" unless it's being done by someone like Dougdoug, in which case most people are largely able to look past the idea that AI is bad, this is likely because it's being used in such a way where the AI is very obvious and open; and because it's being used for comedy. The thing is, anyone using AI has the ability to use it in this way; but the concept that "AI can be used ethically and in a fun way that doesn't hurt people" isn't considered on a larger scale. It becomes more of an "AI is bad, but if you're popular enough to get away with it; have fun."

Or "Chocolate is literally created via slave labor, buying or enjoying chocolate contributes to slavery." Unless you're that guy who makes chocolate sculptures for tiktok and shit. In which case we'll just focus on the fact you're weaving chocolate or something, and not pay any mind to the sheer amount of chocolate you're using and the fact that this likely covers more money going to the same slave labor chocolate production as like 100 individuals buying a kitkat on lunch because they want a snack. People look past all of this because the art he makes with chocolate is undeniably impressive and fun to watch.

Don't even get me started on "racism is bad, portraying minorities as stereotypes and especially making them antagonistic in media is wrong..." Unless you're Mihoyo in which case you'll find extreme success with Genshin Impact despite literally referencing Native American people for your main fodder enemies; people are willing to look past this because I guess the game is fun and the waifus are hot? I don't know man I don't play racist games.

Misogyny is wrong and sexism in the workplace, or as a cultural norm needs to be dealt with; and indie companies need to be held to the same professional standards as anyone else; but if you're ProjectMoon you get a weird pass on throwing such a shitstorm that you not only get your game momentarily boycott but you also can't handle your business connections well enough to manage not having an entire webcomic shut down. Yea WonderLab is now lost media congratulations, the whole of your shitty business dealings came to light; underpaying staff and treating third parties like garbage because "you're just a little indie company uwu" when you've been raking in the big bucks for a while now. Don't worry though because your audience is too attached to [Blorbo From My Games] to give you any real backlash that will negatively effect your company.

So like, what then? Am I saying we should demonize all these people?

Well no actually that's not the case, though I DO think you should boycott Genshin on the grounds it IS racist; and you absolutely should boycott Limbus Company until the company behind it can get their act together and stop being sexist assholes and generally a shitty company.

That being said, if you think I'm trying to attack dougdoug or the chocolate man who's name escapes me at the moment; you can't be further from my point. My point here is to stop attacking people overall; seek solutions to the problem without attacking the individuals. If you see me, as a single individual buying a kitkat on my lunch break; this is not the time to inform me that I'm somehow contributing to slavery before you go off and reblog "he's weaving chocolate!?!?!" As if that's not literally far worse than what I'm doing.

"But I CAN effect what YOU'RE doing, I can't tell him he's contributing to slavery and make him stop!" Why not?

I mean seriously why the fuck not? You understand these people are only given power by the viewers who support them right? The people who buy their products, the people who give them money.

If he can find a way of supporting businesses that don't use or profit from slave labor then great that's a fantastic change. Similar to how Dougdoug not only writes most of his own scripts but uses AI in such a way that it's ethical, it doesn't involve stealing or victims.

The take away there should be that it's possible to use these things in a way that doesn't hurt people, this is why I think it's different from companies like Mihoyo and ProjectMoon as much as taking any shots at ProjectMoon sucks as a fan of their games; I think sexism and anti-capitalism is more important than some blorbo from my games. That's why I'm not only not spending money on Limbus, but I'm not even playing; I refuse to inflate their user numbers and give them the marketability. I refuse to tell them that doing wrong doesn't have consequences.

"Yea but are you actually doing anything? Does it actually matter?" Well yes and no, yes because if I don't do anything then nothing will happen, nothing will change; nothing will get better. However no because I'm just one person, and if you've ever worked retail and heard the classic "you just lost a customer!" You know as well as I that one person on their own doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of it all when it comes to things like overall company success. However if we all keep giving these racist, sexist, and just generally scummy companies our money and time and activity to market; because "I'm just one person" then nothing is ever going to snowball into a noticeable amount of people.

Boycotts don't work unless a majority of people participate; and I'm sorry but the reason these companies make what they make is to pander to your impulse, to your attention; they prey on your weakness to not be able to break free from them.

That's WHY Genshin has so many waifus and husbandos and bullshit like that; they prey on your inability to control your emotions and thus you will continue to spend money for a chance to obtain your favorite characters and once you do you have an attachment to them; you spent god knows how much money to get them; you invested so much time in getting the currency to roll/pull/draw for them.

That's WHY Limbus Company writes the characters and content they do; because they know you're too invested now; they aren't worried about a silly boycott because they've seen it won't matter. They already know all they need to do is keep releasing more content, and you'll keep playing, you'll keep spending money on it; you'll keep getting hype for whatever comes next. It doesn't matter if you think they're a sexist company, if you think they're capitalist scum; because you're still playing their game, you're still giving them money, you're still supporting them.

This is even true of Tumblr, and it's what I always say when people bring up the fact tumblr isn't listening to anyone telling them about the whole issue of transphobia on this site.

Yea of course tumblr isn't going to listen to you, you're still here. They don't care what you say as long as you still use their site; so long as you still provide them with content, so long as you still inflate their numbers and make their site profitable. You can do whatever you want they're not going to care; if you actually make a big enough stink to make the site unmarketable they'll just precisely ban you, remove the evidence; and move on. They won't ban everyone; if they did that they wouldn't have content; they're only going to lift a finger to bring down the hammer where it absolutely must be done.

Tumblr's CEO went off site to attack a trans girl and while everyone complains about it, we're all still fucking here aren't we? So they absolutely do not care that you know, they absolutely do not care that you're talking about it. In fact god knows that if a post like this ever got super popular and my voice started to matter; I'd just be banned, I'd just be removed with surgical precision; ensuring they leave enough of you all here to keep the ecosystem alive and well so they remain profitable.

I think people point fingers and accuse and blame and throw shade way too much, I don't get on people for AI bullshit for a lot of reasons; but the biggest is that if someone is misusing AI that's the fault of the individual; the person actually doing the theft; not the AI, you don't blame a hammer for breaking a vase; you blame whoever swung it.

Tumblr is a melting pot of various people with various views on things and it's so tiresome to see these sort of half baked moral points getting thrown around "hey if you're not boycotting this you're bad and wrong and a horrible person" okay great, you're not boycotting things I think you should be though so does that make YOU a bad person? It's all fucking relative and honestly unless everyone bands together to make change it's not going to happen, so either agree on something and stick to it; band together and better the world around you; or stop attacking each other for the sins of big companies.

[finkinthisfrew]

Anything (Pt.16)

cw: alcohol consumption, Matty gets angry at Ross (sorry Ross girlies <;3)

Chapter 16 Matty was washing the dishes in my sink after our quick dinner when I stepped out of my bedroom, freshly showered and dressed, ready for the party.

"How do I look?" I said, announcing my presence.

Matty turned to look at me, brushing a curl away from his forehead with the back of his suds-soaked hand. His jaw dropped when he saw me.

"Fuck, Anna," he said, speechless, looking me up and down.

After finally convincing Matty to tell me the dress code (casual- though Matty was adamant that I wear whatever I feel like) I settled on a simple, comfortable outfit. I chose a skin-tight black tube top, some long and loose denim shorts, and a black pair of cowboy boots. I wore a variety of chunky silver rings and a few simple necklaces. My hair was freshly washed, curly and shiny, shaggy as usual. Under my arm, I carried a small black leather studded shoulder bag.

I couldn't help but blush from the way Matty looked at me.

"Please don't ruin the outfit," I said, giving him a small knowing smile as he started towards me, freezing momentarily at my request.

He spun around to the oven, looking for a hand towel, but not finding one. He chaotically searched for one to dry his hands with, looking at the kitchen island, then the counter before yelling, "ANNA, WHERE ARE THE HAND TOWELS, THIS IS URGENT." He spun around in a frenzy as I giggled at him, both his hands still in the air, soap bubbles dripping down his forearms. "THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER," he yelled, opening cupboard after cupboard. Before I could tell him they were still folded on the couch from when we did my laundry together the previous night, he ran to the washroom.

Seconds later he swept me up in his arms, spinning me around, then set me down and wrapped his arms even tighter around my waist and kissed me. I would have felt dizzy regardless of his spin, feeling lightheaded right away from the passion in his kiss. I returned his energy, kissing him back harder. Our hands roamed each other sensually, slowly becoming more and more frantic. Before things could get any more heated, I lightly pushed Matty's chest and he took my cue immediately.

"Before we get carried away, we should go," I said softly, a little breathless from our kiss, stroking his jawline with my finger.

"Maybe we should stay," he said enthusiastically like he'd just come up with a great idea- as if he wasn't mentioning it for the third time in a row.

"Matty..." I said patiently, "We already settled this. I really want to meet your friends!"

"This outfit is just too good. It's like you wanted me to keep you home, you're practically begging me to hoard you," he said jokingly with a pout. "Maybe I'm not a feminist after all..." he said, biting his lip thoughtfully. I playfully smacked his arm, and he laughed. "I'm joking, I promise. But darling, please have some sympathy here! Look at you! You're drop-dead gorgeous! How could I not want you all to myself?" he said with exaggerated doe-eyes.

"Mattyyyy!" I whined. "Please, babe. We're already late!" I pouted back at him, trying not to laugh at his ridiculousness.

"Don't worry, darling, I'm only taking the piss out of you. The car's already here," he said sweetly, placing a kiss on the top of my head before grabbing his crewneck off the back of my kitchen chair. I picked up his oversized black hoodie which lay on the couch to take with me in case I got cold and he gestured to take it from me, tucking it under his arm along with his layer to carry for me before taking my hand.

About 20 minutes later, we arrived outside of a loud and busy bar. A couple dozen people stood outside smoking, laughing and talking loudly.

As we stepped outside of the car, almost everyone who stood outside greeted Matty as we walked towards the bar, one by one. 

"This is my girlfriend, Anna," he said to each person, a look of pride on his face every time I shook a new person's hand or accepted a friendly hug. It was a whirlwind of names and introductions, but everyone was so kind, and I was already feeling drunk off of Matty's casualness around labelling our unlabeled relationship. We hadn't talked about labelling us as girlfriend-boyfriend, likely because we already knew it was official, but it still made me giddy to hear him call me his girlfriend so proudly.

We walked towards the front door of the bar. A chalkboard sign outside read 'closed for private event' and Matty strolled us right past it, as well as the two large security guards who stood outside.

As soon as we entered the bar, we heard a familiar voice yell out, "Matty! Anna!"  We turned to look and saw George walking towards us in a casual tan linen suit, sporting a giant grin, and holding a bottle of wine in each of his hands. Matty smiled and reached his arm out, giving George a hug, not letting go of my hand. Then George turned to me with a big smile. "Anna! I'm so glad you could make it! How are you?" he asked enthusiastically, giving me a big warm hug.

"I'm great! I'm so excited to finally get to hang out together!" I said as we pulled apart. We began to excitedly ask each other about our days as we all turned to walk towards an empty couch, but another voice called out Matty's name. Matty waved hello before holding up a finger to say he'll be over in a moment. Then he leaned into me and groaned in my ear, "Ugh, I have to go talk to this person for a bit, love. Will you be alright without me for a little bit?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I'll be fine! I wanted some alone time with George anyways so I could ask about all your secrets," I said, giving him a devilish look. He laughed, then said, "I have no secrets from you- you can have them all, my darling." He kissed my temple, then gave me a little emotional smile, just between us. Then he turned to George. "Take good care of her while I talk to Mark, will you?" As George gave Matty a salute, Matty kissed me one last time, then took a step away from me, giving my hand one last squeeze and smiling before disappearing.

I turned back towards George who offered me his arm. Taking it, we strolled towards the empty couch. George offered me one of the half-empty bottles of wine in his hands and I accepted it graciously, taking a large swig. "You look lovely, Anna. I'm obsessed with these cowboy boots of yours" he said, giving me a twirl before sitting down and drinking from his own bottle.

"Thank you, George! You look lovely as well! That's a great suit- you look very dapper," I said sincerely. He fluttered his eyelashes at me comically, "Oh, this old thing?" We laughed together before he launched into his questions. "So, Anna. We only have about 20 seconds before Matty will rip himself from this conversation and come steal you from me- tell me everything. What's this residency you're here for?"

For the next half an hour, George and I talked, learning about each other's lives. He was so kind and warm and me feel so comfortable in a room full of strangers in a country I wasn't familiar with. We had the same sense of humour too, laughing constantly as we slowly emptied our wine bottles.

"Oi!" George yelled out in the middle of a story he was telling me about his first kiss, when a tall thin man in a loose white t-shirt and grey wool trousers walked by us. The man turned to see where the voice had come from as George yelled again, waving his arm. "Hanny, over here!"

The man strolled over, a glass of amber liquor perched casually in his hand as he walked over with a curious smile.

"Hann, I'd like you to meet the infamous Anna."

Before I could say anything, he came over and sat down next to me, pulling me into a warm hug.

"The Anna, in the flesh! It's so nice to finally meet the woman who's stolen Matty's heart," he said with a big smile on his face. "I'm Adam! Or you can call me Hann," he said kindly.

"Well, which do you prefer?" I asked curiously.

"You know, no one ever asks me that!" he said, his eyebrow furrowing in thought. "I don't know that I really have a preference. I guess Hann is what the lads call me more often, but I like Adam. Honestly, I'm fine with either I suppose."

"Well, since I'm not a lad, I guess I'll stick with Adam," I said with a shrug. "But if you ever change your mind, you let me know!" I said as I put my hand on his arm warmly.

Adam smiled at me with intrigue, then put an arm around me giving me a squeeze. "You're a good egg, aren't you? Lucky for you, I'm on the market for a new best mate." He gestured toward George with his thumb before saying, "This one almost forgot my birthday last week."

"Key word- almost!" George said, enthusiastically shaking a single finger in the air. 

We all laughed together before Adam turned to George saying, "She really is as lovely as Matty made her out to be. You really are!" I smiled as he turned back towards me.

"We can't all be in love with Anna- Matty will have our heads. Besides, I think Carly would really like to be friends with Anna," George said with a wink.

Adam rolled his eyes at George before explaining to me, "Carly is my wife. Actually, I think you two would hit it off. She's coming by later- you should meet her!"

"I'd love that!" I said sincerely, as we continued chatting. I really liked Adam. His energy was very calm and warm- I got the sense that the liquor he drank made him more outgoing than normal and I was getting a less soft-spoken version of him. I was utterly charmed.

I leaned in to ask him questions about his wife- how they'd met, how long they'd been together, what he loved about her- and we talked for ages. I was having such a nice time that I almost didn't notice how much time had passed since Matty disappeared. Almost.

Eventually, Adam ran off to find Carly outside, and George and I, having polished off our bottles of wine, went to the bar to get ourselves more drinks. We stood, chatting casually and laughing while we waited for the bartender to finish pouring a dozen shots someone else had drunkenly ordered.

Finally, George leaned over to yell our order to the bartender when I heard a deep voice behind me. "Who's this gorgeous girl, George." I turned around to find a very tall, very handsome bearded man smiling at me. He wore a fitted black T-shirt and dark jeans, his dark brown hair pulled back into a bun.

"Ross!" George yelled in drunken recognition, giving him a hug and a drunken kiss on the cheek. Ross hugged him back, laughing at George's drunken state and giving him a big pat on the back. As they pulled apart, George gestured towards me, excited to introduce me. "This is the beautiful, the stunning, the drop-dead gorgeous Anna," George said, making me blush. "Anna, this is Ross! Part-time bass player, full-time heartthrob," he finished with a wink.

Ross leaned in towards me up against the bar, a beer in hand, smiling at me. "Beautiful indeed." I blushed at his candidness. "So how do you two know each other?" he asked, placing his hand lightly on my lower back.

"She's my girlfriend," said a stern voice behind me. I turned around to find Matty glaring at Ross. His eyes turned to see me stepping towards him and his anger melted away in an instant, a small smile of sadness replacing it. "I'm sorry I disappeared for so long, I couldn't get away," he said painfully, wrapping his arms around me as I approached him. We snapped together like magnets. I didn't care that we were actually in a room full of people who knew who Matty was and were therefore mostly watching us with curiosity. As I wrapped my own arms around him, he pulled me in for a deep and long kiss. Suddenly, we were alone, just the two of us, and immediately I was filled with relief and elation. It felt like coming home- we really were so painfully in love.

When we finally pulled apart, I turned to find George with his head propped up by his elbow on the bar, staring at us with a big goofy smile and wiggling his eyebrows at us.

"If you two weren't so bloody cute I'd be sick all over right now," George teased.

"Well you'll have to get used to it, mate," Matty said, patting George's back with a smile, "I'm sure they've got a bucket or something you could borrow." He said, pantomiming looking behind the bar for a vessel, making George laugh. Matty turned back to me, leaning in to kiss my cheek and asked me softly, "Can I get you a drink my darling?"

"A glass of wine, please?" I smiled at him, and he glowed back at me.

"Anything," he whispered in my ear, then brushed his lips against my mouth, before pressing his forehead into mine and planting a strong kiss on my lips.

George pretended to throw up and made a loud retching noise, making Ross laugh. I smiled at them, turning to Ross and saying, "Shall we find you a bucket too?"

Matty chuckled to himself as he stepped over to the bar, notedly between Ross and me, to order our drinks.

"You're a bit of a firey one, aren't you?" Ross said with a fierce smile, stepping away from the bar and towards me. He raised an eyebrow at me before adding, "I'm glad to know there's someone who can keep up with Matty and all of his antics."

"Antics?" I asked, confused. Ross opened his mouth to answer, but George interrupted him.

"Oh, don't be a prat, Ross," George said throwing his arm around me, "you're just jealous that Matty found her first." George looked at me and wagged his finger at me sternly, "Don't listen to him, he's just lonely and horny." Then someone grabbed George's attention across the room and he disappeared in a drunken flash.

"There's nothing wrong with being lonely," Ross said innocently, looking straight into my eyes with intensity. I felt like his eyes were going to burn a hole through the back of my head.

"I agree," I heard behind me as a hand appeared in front of me with a wine glass. I took the glass and felt Matty's hand wrap around my waist sensually from behind as he embraced me. He placed a kiss on my shoulder, sending a shiver down my spine. "There's nothing wrong with you being lonely." I felt the quiet anger in his voice. Matty kissed my cheek protectively before adding "In fact, I prefer it. But if you wouldn't mind being horny with someone else's girlfriend, that'd be great, thanks, mate."

Before Ross could say anything, Matty pulled me away, taking us through the back of the bar, grabbing a bottle of wine from a table on our way, and out the back door. 

[evvlevie]

Hi I'm pretty good at manifesting things that seem small and insignificant, but I can't do anything beyond that. Stable amount of money, relationships, I can succesfuly do revision of things that happend durning the day etcetc this all feel so easy and efortless on the one hand I'm working from the imagination on the second hand I feel like I'm trapped in the endless cycles of duties School is draining, even though I'm making it easier for myself, but it is not what I want I just want to shift to my dr and I'm changing the inner states, I'm imagining from the perspective of my dr self, I fulfill the inner man if it's needed but when I'm in school I'm flooded by the things I don't really care about, but even though I don't care I still feel like I need to do my home work, prepare for final exams, write and do my art diploma....

and I just don't know how to truly get away from all those meaningless things this all is distracting me from the inner world I am imagining different place for myself, and then, when I wake up I feel like I am becoming the desired reality self then it just takes one trip to school to just make me question if I can really shift realities during the summer I was able to keep really good state of mind for a longer time, but it didn't take me far I realized today that I'm just a little bit stuck in that part and I just need some help with it, or maybe general idea of what direction of thinking should I take to improve myself (also I'm sorry if this ask feels messy, this whole situation is not-yet fully organised in my mind hah, and eng is not my first language so it is not helping ig) -Anon ♠️🐍

Hi my dear Anon ❤️

I know this answer is coming really late, and I genuinely hope things have improved for you, and if not I hope my "advice" comes in handy:

I know exactly what you have been going through. I tried to manifest my SP while he had a third party involved and I was seeing him and my unpleasant 3D situation daily. I can imagine that this draining life that you are experiencing is what being confronted by your opposing 3D circumstances means in your case (or in any case where shifters wake up in their CR really)

One thing that I can tell you in order to maybe change your perspective and adapt your feelings towards the 3D is this:

You know about shifting, you want to shift, so there is an invisible 100%-guarantee label on your forehead that reads "will shift!!!!!"

The thing you are going through right now is just your bridge of incidences that takes to the place where you have shifted. I can tell you that the more I started learning about LOA the more complicated shifting got for me, because I was able to overthink every single little step I was doing, and I seriously need you to stop doing that. Shifting isn't hard. It's seriously just wanting to shift and it happening. Nothing more and nothing less. That's why people keep saying that you only need the intention to shift. There are people that shifted with their eyes open and in a matter of seconds. These people were not better or worse at this than you, or less destined for it or whatever. Every single success story that I have ever read, started with something like "I finally shifted once I just didn't give a fuck and just let it happen". I am so serious when I say that you just need to embody the confidence of a person that is shifting left and right, in order to have that energy manifest into you shifting left and right. This, this confidence is the only thing separating any "aspiring" shifter from a shifter that is shifting 30 times a day.

I have read stories of people who didn't even know what shifting is, who lived an entire life in another universe, woke up and thought they dreamed something hugely realistic. In fact this happened to my own friend once, and this girl doesn't even believe in shifting.

This is what I mean when I say that it's so easy, people are able to do it accidentally.

Sadly many shifters and loa-manifestos love to overcomplicate shifting and manifestation. Both of these concept are basically: wanting something to happen, and trusting that it will, regardless of what is physically in front of you. Sometimes we have to keep holding onto our trust harder than other times, but that doesn't change that the principle will always be the same. And to top it all off it is a really simple one.

At the end of the day I just want you to assume that you are doing everything correctly and exactly in the way that you have to, in order to get to where you want to be the fastest way possible for you (because that is actually true, this is your bridge of incidences in this case).

I love u,

Evie <3 💘

[shelbgrey]

Can you do one where the reader is Gabe's soulmate and they have a breakdown cause they were hiding all feelings, good and bad. They break down in Gabe's arms and whilst venting say “I gotta say, I'm not doing so great. I keep trying to start over, but I can't get anywhere because I'm lost.” Then Gabe comforts them?

Love this request. Glad I got to write for my favorite angel again.

Love of a lifetime (Gabriel)

Paring: gabriel x Soulmate!Reader

Prompt: 1.1) “I gotta say, I'm not doing so great. I keep trying to start over, but I can't get anywhere because I'm lost”

MasterList

Call Gabriel what you want. He can be manipulative or harmful to humans if he really wanted to. But one thing is for sure he'd never lay a hand on her or even put her in danger. He'll play all the practical jokes he wants on her brothers or send them to any univers, but when It comes to her no harm will come.

Gabe didn't know how to discribe it. When he first met her and her brothers were after him. Of course he was pissed but when he first saw you all anger seemed to dissolve. He didn't know why... Actually he did but he didn't want to admit it.

Arc-Angels are supposed to have Soulmates or they'll be assigned a person to watch over. Unfortunately God didn't trust Gabe to be a Garudian Angel so he was surprised when he felt the love sick feeling his whole body was feeling when he saw her kind eyes.

That day he voved to always protect her even if she never found out about his unconditional love he felt for the the hunter. He's all jokes and partying but when he promises something he keeps it. When the mystery spot becomes known to her and her brothers, Gabe made sure she didn't get sucked into the time loop Sam and Dean were in.

He knew how much y/n loved her brothers so while Dean was dying and sam was losing his mind y/n was completely clues. But she wasn't too clueless, she started slowly putting the pieces together and soon she had a dozen questions for the so called Trickster.

The third time she was sucked into TV land, but like he promised there was no harm to her. He would put y/n in the same reality as her favorite shows to impress her. But after the Winchesters Cracked the case once again she finally asked her unanswered questions while he stood in the holy fire.

“call I ask you something?” she asked after brothers left. His brooding face soften and he simply shrugged.

“Sure Sweetheart”

“Why us? Specifically why do you target my brothers but not me?” he stifled a laughed and put his hands in his pockets.

He weighed out his options. He could either tell her the truth and get rejected or he could lie and not only protect him but her. He also knew he was bad news and even dangerous. And even if he promised to always protect her its not safe for an Angel to be with a human.

“... Just wanted to see how it would play out” he lied right through his teeth. She slightly nodded with disappointment. She couldn't explain why she had a soft spot for the Trickster or she started to notice how handsome he was.

“see ya around Gabriel” she nodded putting outt the holy fire and walking to the impala. She never breathed a word to her brothers about the conversation she had with the Angel.

--------(1st pov)--------

“GOOOOOD MOOORNING!” my alarm clocked shouted. I sat up suddenly and heard Gabriel's voice shouting through the speaker of my alarm. I sighed and tried to shut it off but his voice continued in a broadcasting voice.

“it's a beautiful day in Kansas with 80% chance of a vengeful spirit flying around, but don't worry the Winchesters are on the case... I'm your host T Rickster”

I sighed and ripped the corde out and tossed the alarm clock to the side. I sighed finally getting some quiet.

“that's not very nice Sweetheart” I jumped at the suddenness of his voice. I looked and he was leaning against the was of my room. I rolled my eyes and got out of bed. I opened the door of my room.

“if you don't mind” he rolled his eyes with a smirk and with a snap of his fingers he was gone.

This happened for months. I woke up to the sound of his voice everyday. And everyday turned into him coming to the bunker to heal whatever scratches or bumps I got from a hunt.

As the months went on we got closer. He always knew how to make me laugh or smile. I also noticed how pretty his wisky colored eyes were and how adorable his smile was. But the harder I fell for him the scared I got.

Then one drunk night I got something I never knew how badly I really needed it. Once his lips met mine it felt too good to be true... I guess it was. He started to distance himself for me. Is voice wasn't heard every morning and it slowly turned to maybe three days a week.

It hurt... I guess it wasn't all his fault do to the fact I was scared to tell him how I felt. Scared of what my brothers would do if they ever found out. After about a week of mopping(as Dean would put it) I admit it to Sam. I knew I could trust him and he didn't get angry like I knew Dean would.

“we can't help who we fall in love with” he told me.

After a particularly hard hunt I ignored my brother's worries and went to my room. As soon as my door closed I let out a sob. Everything seemed to be hitting me all at once. Every possible negative outcome happened tonight. I felt broken and tired, I felt even more pain when I realized Gabe didn't show up like he usually dose.

Dispite the pain I fell backwards on my bed and chocked down a sob. Feeling the acke in my back a rolled over to my side. As I moved I was face to face with Gabe's leather jacket that was just carelessly crumbled on a chair near my bed. It was right where he left it... Right before he started distaning himself from me.

I winced as I got up and wrapped myself in the jacket. The smell of his colone and what ever candy he ate invaded the my sences the closer I pulled the piece of clothing closer. I crawled back into bed trying to get some rest.

“you look like shit” a all too familiar voice said destroying the quiet. I quickly set up and saw gabe leaning against the wall with his head down.

“thanks” I grumbled and slowly set up. He sighed and walked up to me. He raised his hand getting ready to heal me. I slapped his hand away before he could.

Gabe gave me a sorrowful look and pulled his hand away. I looked down not wanting to meet his sad look. “I'm sorry” he said just above a whisper.

I scoffed then looked up at him. “What did I do wrong?” I asked him as tears pricked my eyes. He tilted his head like he didn't know what I was talking about. “you were my friend... Then you just disappeared... Was that kiss so awful?”

“What? No! No... T-that's...” he scoffed and shook his head as he became lost for words. “it's just... I'm not right for you... You need to start over and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve” he said quietly.

I gulped thinking of all the pros and cons of what I was about to say. I thought of the negative out come of it, but it's now or never I guess. “I gotta say, I'm not doing so great. I keep trying to start over, but I can't get anywhere because I'm lost”

He looked up at me and gave me a soft look as I continued. “I'm lost without you... Everyday I woke up to your voice and everyday I fell deeper and deeper for you” I said feeling my chest tighten.

Gabe gently pulled me into his arms. I was engulfed into the smell and touch I missed so much. I finally let the tears fall as hid my face in his chest. “I'm so sorry” he mumbled and kissed the top of my head as he held me closer.

“I love you... And it scares me” he confessed. I looked up at him with watery doe eyes. He softly smiled and placed his warm hand on my cheek. “but I don't plan on giving you up again”

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips. It wasn't like our first drunken one. It was softer and longer. It felt like it was supposed to be our first. It felt like forever was in our favor.

[foreverrogers]

under the mask

You can sense his hesitancy, but you can also tell by the glint in his eye that he wants you just as bad, that it won't need much more convincing.

"We don't have to," You start, kiss the corner of his mouth, his jaw, find that place where you can whisper it into his ear. "But just so you know. I really want to."

Pairing: tasm!peter parker x f!blackcat!reader

Summary: you reluctantly befriend spider-man and slowly feel it becoming more until all is spilt one night at the top of the empire state

Warnings: smut!!! NSFW, 18+!!!!! enemies to friends to lovers, exhibitionism, rooftop sex, unprotected sex

Words: 3.9k

A/N: based on this request!!! I am so, SO sorry this took so long but i hit an absolute brick wall after the 2k mark and for some reason couldn't get going again for the life of me. so I'm kind of unsure about this one... but here it is!!! I loved the vigilante idea, so the black cat namesake if more of a loosely based on rather than any specific characterisation from the comics. hope you enjoy!!

request something! masterlist

It's the third time that week you've beaten him to the bad guy.

One minute he's hearing it on the police scanner, a 10-30 at the bodega just two blocks over, but even swinging there in record time he's still too late because by the time he gets there the thief in question is already unconscious, collapsed against a wall, head lolled to the side as blood drips from a series of wide gashes across one arm. The scratch of the Black Cat.

Peter walks over to him, bends down to check his pulse just in case, and when he looks up your strolling out of the bodega, the owner's profuse words of thanks audible from inside, casual as can be. You smile wickedly when you see him. "Ouch," You start, walk up to him until you're almost face to face, black painted lips curving into a mocking pout. "Looks like I beat ya to it, Spidey."

You shove your shoulder into his hard as you walk past, and he watches as you extend a single metallic claw, the tip still stained crimson red, and engrave a deep groove into the wall as you pass.

"You didn't have to do that to him, you know?" Peter exclaims, running to catch up to you now, can already hear the sirens in the distance. You ignore him, and so he shoots a web right above where you're about to be, swings up so he's landing right in front of you, blocking your path.

You narrow the mechanical white eyes of your mask at him. "I didn't have to do what?" You ask, venom in your voice. You don't stick around long enough to hear the answer, though, because soon enough you're sliding back a small panel on the inside of your wrist, grappling hook shooting upwards and latching to the ledge of the roof, pulling you up with it.

"Hey!" Peter shouts at your ascending figure, webbing up so he's already standing there when you reach the top. "Did you steal that from me?"

You scoff at him. "You don't own every method of climbing a building, bug boy. Cool your ego."

"That's bullshit! You did the wrist thing and everything and- That not the point!" He interrupts himself, suddenly derailed, ungratefully flustered by you. "You didn't have the scratch that thief just to prove something. He didn't deserve it."

"Oh, moral righteousness from the grown man in the Party City bug costume," You spit, stop to turn to him. "The woman who owns that bodega's been running it for 20 years and's putting both of her kids through college. She's the one who didn't deserve it. He got what was coming to him."

Peter clenches his jaw, swallows hard before he speaks next. "It doesn't matter. People like us don't need more enemies-"

"We are not the same," You say, cut and dry, the tip of your finger digging into his chest now. You're silent for a long moment, give another scoff when you pull your hand away to cross your arms, leaving the smallest of puncture holes behind. "Besides, that's rich coming from, what was it? Public enemy number one?"

"That's just a Bugle headline, it doesn't actually mean-"

"And my headlines tell me that maybe if I showed off my tits a little people would like me more," You interrupt. "So forgive me if some of us have to do more to be taken seriously around here."

Peter's silent, moves to say something, gestures halfway before he stops himself, words caught in his throat.

"That's what I thought."

You stop then, put a finger up to the earpiece he hadn't realised with sitting there.

"What is it?"

"None of your business," You say simply, turning swiftly on your heel to stalk away from him.

"Where is it?" He calls after you, doesn't move to follow. "I can help!"

"Wouldn't want to slow you down with my broken moral compass, Spidey. Maybe next time!"

-----

The next time doesn't come in the way Peter would have hoped.

It's a quiet night if anything, late already, and Peter's just starting to think about turning it in for the night when he hears it.

He shouldn't have been able to hear it, really, even with his heightened senses, but from this rooftop, the faintest gasping, choking sounds from the alley below catch him.

"Hey!"

He doesn't know it's you until he lands, until he sees those claws digging into the hand wrapped firmly around your throat, draws a steady flow of deep red blood that drips and pools on the concrete below. The man the hand belongs to is huge, like, gotta be a genetically engineered super steroid man huge, completely unfazed by the wounds ripping through his hand.

The shout catches the man's attention, and Peter watches as he slowly turns to him, smile awful, as he drops you without a second thought, as you fall to the ground with a gasp, crumpled there, dig your claws into the rough pavement as your other hand rubs at your neck.

He would have gone to check on you if this guy wasn't walking towards him, catching his fists in his hands, look in his eye like he's finally ready to take on the better opponent.

But he's Spider-Man, and so it's all over in a flash, alley suddenly eerily quiet, and when he searches after you you're already gone.

He doesn't know how you know, but he finds you on the Empire State later that night.

You're sitting on the railing, precariously balanced as you swing your legs over the side, don't seem to be fazed by the vast drop beneath you.

"This is my spot," He says, approaches you cautiously, and you must have heard him coming because you don't jump, don't even turn to find the source of the voice, simply stay still looking out at the lights.

"You're trying to gatekeep the Empire State Building now, too?" You ask, tone teasing. "Typical."

He smiles, not that you can see it, slips quietly up onto the ledge beside you. "I guess we can share tonight." He watches you look out over the city, sees the dark marks around your throat then, the purple bruises that have already started to bloom. "How's your-"

"I'm fine," You interrupt, mouth set in a firm line, have to swallow thickly before you speak next. "I guess I should thank you, anyway. Not that I needed your help."

"Oh, really?" He laughs, thankful for the lightness of the smile you give him. "Because when I showed up you looked pretty in need-"

"Okay, okay," You start, sway to the side to knock your arm against his lightly. "Don't test me right when I'm starting to warm up to you, Spidey."

Silence for a moment, and he's suddenly grateful you can't see his face, that you can't see the flush of his cheeks when you smile at him.

"How do you do that, by the way?" He asks, shuffling half an inch closer now, feels the warmth of you beside him in the cool night.

"Do what?" You respond, eyes narrowing.

"That," He says, pointing at the movement, the dark fabric slipping over the stark white, the faint mechanical whirl that accompanies it. "Get the eyes in your mask to move when yours do."

"Oh." You smile a little, only to yourself, but he notices, and then it happens so fast Peter's barely registered it, looking straight into your eyes in an instant. You lean towards him, turn the mask over in your hands to show him the wiring of the inside.

You start talking, but he's not paying attention because here, beside him, without your mask, you're just a girl in head to toe black spandex with the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen.

"Spidey," You say, voice firm, snap him out of his momentary trance. "You good?"

He's still a little speechless. "You're not... worried about your identity?"

"You superheroes and your secret identities," You scoff, shake your head at him. "Besides, who's gonna tell? You? With that lecture you gave me the other night I just assumed you had never wronged anyone in your life."

Peter laughs lightly, just looks at you for a long moment, studies your eyes, can't believe he's sitting here studying your eyes. And then all at once cautious fingers slip under the hem of his mask, a surge of reluctance as he tugs it over his face.

"Wow," You start, silent for a while, and then you're smiling. "You have some nerve calling yourself Spider-Man. Are you even above the drinking age? Can you legally enter a casino?"

"Okay," He laughs, shakes his head as he looks away from you. "Low blow."

"No, I'm being serious!" You exclaim, laughing now too, and your hand is on his forearm when you lean closer. "Are you a minor? I feel like you have a moral obligation to tell me the truth right now."

"I'm a full twenty-one years old if you really need to know," He says, looks down at your hand when he feels the warm pressure there. You notice, withdraw it lightning-fast, cheeks heating just a little.

You bite the inside of your lip, look away, quiet for a moment. "Me too," You admit, silent again as you turn to watch the late-night bustle under you. "This city's really got a couple of kids doing their dirty work, huh?"

He looks at you then, and you look at him, sadness behind the smile you share.

"Well," You start, take a deep breath and hold out one covered hand to him. "It's nice to meet you, Spider-Man. My name's Y/n."

Peter looks at your hand for a second, then back up to your face, surprised at himself more than anything else, at the ease at which he's doing this. "Peter," He says, and takes your hand in his, grasps onto it firmly. "Peter Parker."

-----

You drag the heavy metal door of your loft open, let in the noise of the city and the stench of the alleyway, and outside stands Peter Parker, tall and lanky, floppy brown hair, clad in a graphic t-shirt and jeans. "God, this is weird."

He beams at you, objectively too excited to be there, and rolls a little back and forth on his heels. "Can I come in?"

"You are rapidly making me regret this invitation," You say, not giving a response to his question, simply turn and walk back inside.

He breathes a quiet, "Woah," when he follows, takes in the set-up of the loft, the high tables full of equipment and tools, the expansiveness of it inconspicuous from the outside. "Where did you get all this stuff?"

"Sticky fingers," You smile, turn to fall into a rolling chair stationed at one of the desks, wiggle your fingers at him with a smirk. "Guess that's one thing we have in common."

It turns into a grin when you watch his features slack a little, mouth open, takes another sweep over the room. "You didn't really-

"Kidding," You sing, roll your eyes and shake your head a little, still grinning. You swivel around then, start to pluck pieces of wire and tools from around the desk, movements not faltering once, perfect familiarity despite the clutter. "Buzzkill."

You hear him breathe a laugh, footsteps against the concrete as he moves to drag another chair beside you. You turn to him when he sits, holding out an open hand, and Peter just stares at it for a moment, suddenly forgets why he's there.

"Did you bring it?" You ask, gesturing closer, raise your eyebrows at him.

"Right," He mumbles, flustered, feels his face heat with it, digs through his backpack for a second before he's pulling out his mask.

He hands it to you, and when you turn back you get started wordlessly.

Peter's engrossed by it - the process, the mechanics, you, your skill, deft fingers pulling and prodding and placing with perfect accuracy, somehow knowing exactly what to do. It's something he had noticed about you the very first time you had crossed paths, the ease of your grace, the contrast to your sharp wit.

He had never met anyone like you. Spider-Man, sure. Spider-Man meets dozens of people every day that Peter Parker would never even think about approaching, takes comfort in the anonymity of it all, lets himself become a different person behind the mask.

You're not someone Peter Parker would ever meet in his sheltered little corner of the world, the one shut out to most people, preserved in its isolation. And you're certainly the first person he gets to talk like this, gets to meet you as Spider-Man before Peter, gets to sit across from you as rework his mask and remain content in the fact that you know.

It's jarring to think about, how in your eyes he's a blank slate, a canvas to be filled with whatever he chooses to present. It's exciting, too, exhilarating.

Peter embraces it fully.

You find yourselves together a lot more than either of you had anticipated. You hang out, like friends, like normal people, except sometimes when you hang out when you're dressed as your masked alter egos, fighting bad guys, splitting a pizza on the roof at 3 am.

People seem to notice, too, that two of New York's most prominent vigilantes have been teaming up a lot lately. Peter resents being called a vigilante, but you think it suits you just fine, wear it like a badge when you bring him a miscellaneous newspaper spouting whatever ridiculous rumour about your relationship was in that week.

And sometimes you can feel the way he looks at you, have to stop yourself from looking back, think if you did he would see the same thing in your eyes.

It stays like that for a long while, the dynamic between the two of you, the way you orbit around each other.

"You ever swung through New York City before?" He raises his eyebrows when he asks it, mischievous smirk playing at his lips.

"I've... You know... Achieved a very similar estimate of swinging-" And then he's holding out his hand to you like he's inviting you onto his magic carpet and you go silent, staring at him. "Absolutely not."

"Oh, come on," He says, smiling wide, moves to lift up your hand where it's comfortably at your side. "It'll be fun. It's exhilarating."

You make an unsure face, follow him anyway when he leads you out onto the fire escape.

He's taking both of your hands now, putting them around his neck so you're holding onto him tightly. Your faces are close enough that he can feel your breath on his skin. "Do you trust me?"

"Not really," You say, about to attempt another protest before he's tugging on his mask, wrapping one arm around your waist as he shoots a web somewhere up, and then you're away.

You're not typically afraid of heights, but this, the speed and the wind in your hair and the lack of safety brought by your suit makes you shriek a little, close your eyes as you dig your face into his neck and recite every profanity you've ever learned.

When it's finally, gratefully, blissfully over, feet landing on solid ground again, you're back at the top of the Empire State.

It never ceases to amaze you, the view at night from this high up, the life of the city and the lights below.

"I know this place."

You don't realise your arms are still around his neck until you feel him tug his mask off, and you would have moved away if it weren't for the way his hands stayed steadfast at your waist. "If I tell you something you promise not to make fun of me?"

You smile at him, find your fingers unconsciously running through the hair at the nape of his neck. "No promises."

He bites back a smile, and you watch the bob of his adam's apple when he swallows. "That night I took my mask off was the best night of my life."

You scoff lightly, think he must be joking, let your face fall when you realise he's not. "That cannot be true."

"It is, though," He starts, and there's so much sincerity and hope in his eyes it makes your chest ache. He takes half a step closer, lessening the already tiny gap between you. "Ever- Ever since I became Spider-Man... I've never been able to really be myself around people. And even before, I didn't- it was hard... to let people in."

"Spidey..." You whisper, trail off, feel your heart beating wildly all of a sudden because you know where this is going. You can feel it in the air, in the electricity of the moment.

"And then I meet you. Really met you. And you didn't even have to convince me to take it off because as soon as I saw you I wanted to. I wanted you to know me."

"Peter..."

"I'm not the same person I was before I met you. I'm messier and I'm more impulsive and I'm better. I'm happier, all because-"

And you have to cut him off, don't think you can take a single word more, and so you make the leap to close that tiny gap and your kissing him like the only air you can breathe is the oxygen in his lungs.

You mould against each other perfectly when he kisses you back, yin and yang, perfection wrapped in a moment.

It's no time at all before it's heavy, the way his mouth falls against yours, his arm circling around your waist, holds you close to him, guides you backwards until your back is hitting the inner wall.

"Pete, baby." You're desperate and breathy, hands in his hair and under his shirt, and the dramatic shift from your natural demeanour makes him so hard he can barely think straight.

"I like it when you call me baby," Is his take away, mouth trailing down the column of your throat, tries to find the spot that makes you keen into him.

"Pete," You try again, try to make your voice more serious but find yourself betrayed by the gasp you breathe in when his teeth nip at your skin, the heat of his tongue when it follows.

"Mhm?" He responds, hums against you, lips moving back up to your jaw now.

"Not to make this all about me, but if you don't fuck me right now I think I might explode."

He has to pull away at that, look you in the eye, breathe heavy, cheeks red. "But we're-"

"What's the point in being a superhero if you can't take advantage of the view?" You ask, smile sly, and you're looking up at him with those eyes he would do anything for.

You can sense his hesitancy, but you can also tell by the glint in his eye that he wants you just as bad, that it won't need much more convincing.

"We don't have to," You start, kiss the corner of his mouth, his jaw, find that place where you can whisper it into his ear. "But just so you know. I really want to."

The heat of your breathe against his skin is all he needs to throw any trace of reluctance to the wind, to move to kiss you again, so hard you're sure it'll leave a bruise.

Your hands catch the button of his jeans, turn him around and lead him back until you feel your waist hit the metal railing.

You turn then, take in the sight beneath you, feel your heartbeat quicken when you realise just how close to the edge you are, only exacerbated when his lips find the crook of your neck.

You feel him wrap around you from behind, let your hands glide over his arms where they reach for the top of your jeans, hands working the button and the zipper and then he's touching you, fingers making slow circles around your clit, feel the warm slick already pooled there.

The city swallows the sounds that spill from you, never lets them reach the people below, oblivious to the way you bend over the railing and press yourself firmly against the growing tightness in his pants.

He withdraws his hand then, makes you sigh at the loss of contact, slides it up to push up your shirt until it bunches over your breasts, slots it into the dip of your waist, grips your hip and brings you back even harder against him.

And then he's finally grasping the waist of your jeans, hooks the band of your panties along with it, pulls them down, down, down until you're bare to him.

Pressure against your back when he bends down over you, breath hot against your neck, the sound of his own pants falling to the concrete. "You were right about the view."

You think you're ready for him until it's actually happening, until he's pressing into you and filling you up and it's all too much, the height and the stretch and the cool air on your skin.

His grasp on your hip is bruising, keeps you in place when he starts to move, slow at first, feels the tightness of you around him and lets you adjust, only speeds up when you start to bring yourself down to meet his movements.

You imagine how the sounds would echo if you were in a more confined space, the slick squelching, the heavy breath, the gasps and groans, decide quickly you would have to find out later.

Your grip on the railing is so tight it burns, stays the only thing stopping your knees from buckling from the feeling of him inside you, the complete, delicious, desperate ache of him.

And then his fingers meet your clit again and this time it's really too much, has you clenching around him so tight and so suddenly it makes his hips stutter.

"Peter," You breathe, don't know if he can hear you but don't really care in the moment, just need something tangible to form there.

He can hear you all too well, because the sounds of his name on your lips is enough to bring him right to the edge, makes him speed up the circling of his fingers.

This high up the falling really feels like falling, like it crushes you, pulls you apart from the inside out. The force of the orgasm makes your legs shake so violently they give out, makes him slip his arm back around your waist to hold you up against him, and all at once the constriction pushes him over the edge, whining groan pressed against your ear when he cums.

You stay like that for a while, his heaving chest pressed against your back, you, forehead pressed against the railing as you close your eyes, welcome the relief of the cool metal on your skin.

It's his mouth back on your neck that brings you out of it, shivering when you feel him still nestled deep inside you, kisses along your shoulder. "Definitely right about the view.

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[evil-moonlight]

Ten Characters I Fell in Love With in 2021

Thank you so much for tagging me @sashkitty. This means so much to me. 🖤

2021. I fell in love with these characters not because they are perfect or they have lovely descriptions. But simply because they are flawed, yet they deserve so much love. I also love characters whom I can relate to, on a personal level. So, here's my list:

01. Han Ju Won (Beyond Evil)

He is the character whom I can most relate myself to. I've read comments from everywhere that he's kind of annoying and a brat and, surprisingly, he got his job and he's in this line of work, etc., when in fact he's too emotional. But I do find this characterization very realistic and instead of loathing him, all I want to do is to hug him and tell him that someone understands. Okay. He's not the type of character that you'll right away fall in love with. However, in my case, I fell in love with him as early as the first episode. I could relate to the fact that he's not into trusting others (even himself) as I am often like that. And that's due to past trauma, of childhood, about mother, about father. Somehow, we get the same story and childhood experiences, so Han Ju Won is someone I would truly protect tooth and nail. By the way, what I love most about this man is his subtle character development. I am so happy that he got to experience being cared for and that he was learning to reciprocate, consciously or unconsciously. And! there's more: (actually, I have a lot of things to write but I'm afraid it would be too long so...) I love Han Ju Won not for me but for Lee Dong Sik. It might be ridiculous but I found his barging in LDS' basement early in the morning, his invasion of the former's privacy, as something passionate and kind of obsessive, and I forgive him for that (and sorry, but I want him to continue doing that?) because it is inspiring to witness their closeness (and eroticism, yes, I'm serious), the collision of their skin, the soul they put into such moments. (I feel like I am Han Ju Won in the sense that I crave for an old man because I have daddy issues or something of that sort, seriously, don't laugh at me). Han Ju Won is funny without him being funny. I love him!

02. Lee Dong Sik (Beyond Evil)

My love for this character is honestly out of this world, and I feel like loving him is a crime because Han Ju Won seems like the only one who has the right. But I don't mind getting handcuffed for I can't deny the fact that he is very special to me. Not just because I can relate to him, but because out of all the characters that I am mentioning in this post, he's the one I certainly want to marry! (Kidding!) I'm not the type who enjoys the thought of becoming a third party. Marrying him is not even necessary (he already has Han Ju won) and I support them from the bottom of my lungs. Talking about a DILF, I guess this man is the sexiest. His stare, his laugh (even the creepy laughs), the way he talks, his pink lips... God, how could he look so damn hot? I also love this character intensely because he is a gentleman and he sees sex professionals as humans rather than seeing them worthy of disrespect as what most people do, despises perpetrators instead, and never does victim-blaming. That's how he got my full respect. He is a human being who is truly humane, and the world should learn from him. His existence is totally necessary in a world where victims are shamed, degraded, looked down, because his own firsthand experience of being locked up for so long in a senseless stigma is his weapon where no matter how big the stones are thrown at him, he never falters, and that's truly inspiring. Yes, he cries in his comfort, but is that so wrong? (Toxic masculinity no more!) He is beautiful of a person. I've always been meaning to describe LDS as a bamboo tree that bends but never breaks despite the trauma he has suffered. He can sleep, eat, and poop well, and what's more amazing is that he shares this optimistic view of life with others - for instance, to Han Ju Won, by constantly reminding the latter to eat soup before going to hell. I think he deserves the world but the world doesn't deserve him.

03. Chen Yu Zhi (Killer and Healer)

Nah. What's not to love about this cinnamon roll? First of all, he has his baggage as well. He carries it throughout the entire show. His past is not crystal clear of perfection. He came from a family that was not so well-off. He suddenly lost Keying and that's already too much. Despite these unfortunate circumstances, he still turns out to be a great doctor with great principles. Treats people equally; doesn't choose his patients (the poor, the good, and the bad). I love this character because no matter what predicament he faces, he stays pure of all his intentions. He is so gentle and caring. (I know he's meant for Jiang Yue Lou but is it so wrong to wish a Dr. Chen for myself?) He's an ideal person. I don't think he's someone anyone could just hate. He has his imperfections but he as a person is too precious that you don't want to focus on the bad. I thought of him as JYL's little hope that has made a massive difference in the latter's life. I am proud of Chen Yu Zhi because albeit he has his tragic reality, he doesn't stop being kind and trustworthy. He chooses to be dependable and resilient because he knows someone needs him and he has to be sane enough to be truly there. He understands the world around him. In addition, what makes me more proud of him is that he's not like a damsel in distress who needs saving all the time. He easily learns the tactics that Jiang Yue Lou probably has taught him to defend himself from enemies. And since he has a good heart, he even makes friends with his enemies (not to mention Wang Meng). I love this angel!

04. Jiang Yue Lou (Killer and Healer)

I love this man who has a set of dramatic killer eyes! Truly, his eyes are the windows to his soul. The first time I watched this character, I noticed that his eyes speak so much. Those were full of emotions, of trauma, of aggressiveness, and at the same time, of the longing for a mother, a partner whom he could fully trust, despite him not trusting so much with the world around him. But those things? He got that from our dearest doctor Chen, from the commissioner, and of course, from Xiao Bai and we could see so much improvement in his mental health. I love the fact that he is portrayed as hot-tempered but because there's Yuzhi behind him we get to see his soft side, his want of pure affection (his funny ways of getting the doctor's affection, like constantly touching the doctor's nape). We get to see those killer eyes turn into puppy eyes. He's a character I can relate my soul to, to be honest. We both do shitty things but we are not shitty persons. (We are just in love, that's all). But aside from that, what I love about Jiang Yue Lou is that he is not a bad person like how he is supposed to be looked at. He is protective and sacrificial, to the point that he never thinks twice about firing a gun that is directly pointed to his arm. His heart is extremely damaged but that doesn't mean it's not meant to be restored. I love that his character has a sole purpose at the end (to take care of Keying for sure), and what's to love more is that we know that he's going to make it although Dr. Chen (even at the mention of it leaves a stab in my heart) isn't present anymore.

05. Eiji Okumura (Banana Fish)

He is the reason why I keep doing what I love, with sheer excitement as I face through life. I see him as a brave person who is always willing to love even the scariest human beings. He looks so cute on his facade, with a young face of his age. But the truth of the matter, I see maturity in the way he handles things and his circumstances, the people around him, especially Ash. He is not afraid of Ash albeit he has seen so much of the scariest parts of Ash. He hasn't held a gun all his life for such a weapon is illegal in Japan, but with Ash and for Ash, he is ready to own one. He becomes a brave soul himself. His soul is always with Ash. Imagine this scenario, he meets a stranger in a country where there could be a language barrier or the difficulty of absorbing a unique culture, the unfamiliar, and not only that, the stranger is literally a street gang leader, and here he is, an innocent guy who goes to an extreme length of wanting to be part of this whole miserable business because he wants to protect the person who's known to be a murderer (which I honestly despise because Ash has been sexually abused and he doesn't deserve such a term for he was only forced to be that aggressive to selflessly protect the people he cared for), how fearless of him! Eiji understands. Eiji never left. I love him. Even in the Garden of Light, his soul never left Ash's. He's a character who has shown his vulnerability but has acted upon showing his strengths at the same time.

06. Aslan Jade Callenreese (Banana Fish)

My reaction to his sudden demise is the same as that of my reaction to Chen Yuzhi's (I'm mentioning this again, so sorry). God, I cried so hard because of Ash. You know you love a character if you don't care wasting a bucket of tears to mourn for the character's end. I love him but he had gone too soon that it took me an awful year to finally achieve the fifth stage of grief. This character is nonetheless someone I wanted to protect without asking for any return, like what Eiji did. I would make him realize that he is not evil, that he didn't have to stay in NYC to continue his already troubled life. He could change. His life might have changed greatly in Japan. He should've tried, instead of just being satisfied with the thought of Eiji's soul being with him (I'm pushing this idea too much, 'cause I honestly haven't moved on from him). I accepted but I haven't moved on, yes. But well, who am I to blame him, to find fault in his feelings, to say all of this wishful thinking? Ash is valid, and so are his decisions. I love him that no words could describe the intensity of how I admire him forever and always. It's always not 'sayonara' to Ash.

07. Sing (Banana Fish)

I like the Sing in the anime but I love the Sing in the manga (Idk, perhaps because of the aesthetics). But what difference does it make? I look at this character with so much respect because he knows what he's doing. He knows how to understand people. It was evident in the way he automatically captured Yut Lung's trust. Never thought this character would take a big part in the storyline, and most of all never thought he could survive the Banana Fish era and even got to live on in Garden of Light, Yasha, and in a lot more, since I thought he would just be a pain in the ass (considering his initial reaction to knowing who killed Shorter). But I was wrong - he never judged Ash for doing that. Instead, he tried to learn the truth of it, the authentic reality, so that he would know who to trust and who to side with. There came this moment when I wanted Sing and Eiji to be romantically open for each other after all they went through, but it was a hopeless end for me. He's better off with Akira, yes. I love him for who he is, for his genuine approach to both Eiji and Yut Lung. He understands Yut Lung's insecurity but never does tolerate it. He understands Eiji's pain as he went through grief and a hard time living on with Ash's absence. Without Sing, I would feel so sad for Eiji. So, I very much love Sing for being there with Eiji, for at least trying to make Eiji's eyes bloom again after a whole lot of years.

08. Zhan Jun Bai (Killer and Healer)

For me, he is not totally a bad person but he is a victim of his own circumstance. He is rich, has a luxurious life, but his life, in general, is nevertheless messed up. At some point, I pitied him although he has made a gruesome history in Yu Tang Chun's family. He has no family he could call his own (I don't think his uncle cherishes him). But well, I know that shouldn't be an excuse to choose the grey area of life. Zhan Jun Bai is a complex character. At first, I thought I fully understood his characterization but on the ventral side of the coin, I missed almost all of the details. He reminds me of most of the characters in the novels that I've read who are possessive and sort of retaining the willingness to eliminate those who get in his way. I love this character because he's the villain who has shaken me badly and has made me feel like I'm crawling in the cold dark earth. I haven't forgiven him for what he did to Yu Tang Chun but that's what makes me love him - his being unforgivable. He convinces me that there are people who can go that extreme, so we all should be careful with who to trust in real life. But putting that aside, I appreciate his genuine approach to Yu Tang Chun. If however he was given the chance to change for the better, I believe he would be able to.

09. Kang Yohan (The Devil Judge)

Let's talk about his sense of justice... it's top-notch. For someone like me who has almost the same vibe as Kim Gaon, easily able to accuse someone of something that the person hasn't done, I would want a Kang Yohan in my life so that I am guided with my behavior. I am seeing the fault of my actions through Yohan. His aura is dramatically influential. His ending in the show broke my heart and at the same time, gave me peace, knowing that he's finally letting go of what seemed a lifetime of war. He is so precious that when he is once again misunderstood, I would honestly go feral in front of my computer.

10. Chu Ran (Killer and Healer)

This pretty woman is so selfless - I want to give her a medal of appreciation. She's a character that I want to become not just in the nearest future but right now. Everything about her is just a chef's kiss. She is a multi-talented person. If I get to be reborn, I will choose to be like Chu Ran. What's not to love about her? She's a hundred percent dedicated to the thought of being able to help Jiang Yue Lou and Chen Yu Zhi, even though it could cost her life. I couldn't imagine just what was in her mind as she decided to marry Zhan Jun Bai for the sake of the plan on that saddest event of her life. But I know she meant it. I still can't accept her death, and even forget for most times that she died in that way. I love her, and her want of gender equality is just so relevant, it made me feel empowered.

Honorable mentions:

1. Yoo Jae Yi (Beyond Evil)

2. Park Jeong Je (Beyond Evil)

3. Shorter (Banana Fish)

4. Seo Moon Jo (Strangers from Hell)

5. K (Bad and Crazy)

6. Ida (Kieta Hatsukoi)

7. Aoki (Kieta Hatsukoi)

8. Yu Tang Chun (Killer and Healer)

9. Kim Gaon (The Devil Judge)

10. Ryu Sool Yeol (Bad and Crazy)

11. Jin Da Cheng (Killer and Healer)

12. Yoon Jong Woo (Strangers from Hell)

13. Hashimoto (Kieta Hatsuokoi)

14. Aida (Kieta Hatsukoi)

15. Li Cheng (History 4: Close to you)

15. Mu Ren (History 4: Close to You)

16. Xi Gu (History 3: Make our Days Count)

17. Hao Ting (History 3: Make our Days Count)

18. Oh Ji Hoon (Beyond Evil)

19. And the list goes on...

I apologize. It's so long to read. Omg. Tagging all of the Tumblr users who are reading this by now.

[atalho-s]

Light Up The Dark

Part 3 | I am fused just in case I blow out

pairing: bartender!tom x famous!reader

warnings: smut +18 miniors dni, swear words?, drinking, mention of anxiety crisis, let me know if anything else!

words: 4.3 k

a/n: english it’s not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! If you want to be tagged in the next chapters let me know!!

PART 3 if you want to read part 2 click here!

Y/n sat down with her coffee at a cafeteria table. She took a deep breath and opened her notebook, double-clicking the document and revealing the page she'd been trying to write for some time. It couldn't be happening again. It was already the third writer's block in a row and to say she was starting to get angry was an understatement.

It was becoming a constant problem and she didn't know what to do anymore. It was getting embarrassing how many times she had gone to her neighborhood coffee shop. Staying in her apartment alone was making her completely claustrophobic, which was ironic given her apartment was so big and spacious.

But what was making her so upset and with that lack of creativity? That's what she wanted to find out. Maybe it was the story, maybe it would be a sign that that story shouldn't be written.

She took a deep breath and rested her chin on her palm looking at the screen. She didn't want to give up on June, her character, so easy. She really want to finish this, had she already invested too much time in something that in the end would come to nothing? That didn't sound like her.

But if that were the only way, she would have no alternative, she would have to give up and maybe come back one day when her creativity shines again.

She felt her cell phone vibrate in her coat pocket and caught it looking that was Milla. She slid the screen and answered.

- Hi Mil... - she said a little discouraged.

- Hey Lovey! Why the sad voice? - Milla said and Y/n smirked.

- Just discouraged with the new book...

- Nothing yet? - Mila already knew about the extensive Y/n block’s creativity since she kept calling asking for tips on teas or candles that would bring inspiration (since Mil was an expert in these crazy things about spiritism and nature), which obviously didn't help.

- Nothing, actually I'm thinking about giving up this time...

- Hey Hey hey! No giving up, are you crazy? - Milla said and Y/n sighed. - You just need a little push, it will come back eventually.

- I don't know Mil... It seems that the inspiration went away for good.

- Since when did you lose your ideas? I remember that weeks ago you were all excited, you even wrote three wonderful chapters, maybe if you try to do the same thing you did in these weeks the ideas will come back... - Milla said and Y/n started to remember the weeks that passed. What had she done? Well, she had spent more at home as usual, a few days meeting with the director of the series based on her book, chatting a bit with Emma Brown, and the other day doing an interview for a famous magazine, but that was it. She hadn't done anything big...

Y/n thought some more. Emma Brown and her birthday party, after that day she had a flurry of ideas where she wouldn't stop writing, but then what happened to make everything suddenly stop? Well, there was an obvious incident... And by incident she meant: Tom. That waiter had really messed with her the two nights she had been with him. But she hadn't seen him since and she was super okay with it, it wasn't like she was thinking about him, his smell, his smile, the way he knew how to touch her... Ok, that was going too far.

But why since she saw him she started having her lack of ideas again? It wasn't possible. What if he was inspiring her in some way or another? Maybe the way he relaxed her and made her forget about everything made her creative.

- Y/n? Bestie? - Milla asked on the other end of the line. - Are you still there?

- Hi Mil! - Y/n said out of his thoughts. - Sorry, I went out of orbit for a few seconds.

- I noticed... What are you thinking about huh?

- Oh no big deal... Just... I have to prove a theory and if it works out I'll tell you.

- Theory? What theory? - Milla asked curiously.

- I have to go, but I'll call you later ok? - Y/n said and didn't wait for Milla to answer, hanging up the phone and hurriedly packing up her things.

She had to prove she wasn't going crazy. Maybe Tom really was her energy charge in some way, she had to prove if her creativity would come back. And if he was, she really wouldn't know what to do. She couldn't sleep with him every time her lack of ideas came up. But, she was desperate and despair brought drastic attitudes.

So she ran back to her apartment to change her clothes. To think that she had sworn to herself that she wouldn't go after him, was humiliating, but she didn't care at the moment. As soon she got home, she went straight to her closet, wanting to impress him, but at the same time she wanted him to think that she went there to get someone else, it would be less pathetic.

She spotted a white dress, one that she had never worn before, presumably because she didn't like to show too much of her body, but she decided to take a chance with it. She dressed, put on her high-heeled sandals and did her makeup (the basic one she knew how to do) and when it was almost 11pm she was heading towards the Seven Devils bar.

Arriving there, she saw the same security guard who had let her through, a friend of Tom's. She nodded to him and entered. The bar was a little more crowded, maybe because it was friday night. He felt butterflies in her stomach, what if someone recognized her? She doubted they would, but even though she wasn't doing anything wrong she hated being in the media. She took a deep breath and went deeper into the room. It was dark and the dance floor was open, crowded with people dancing and few people sitting at the table. Only the bar light was visible, where she immediately looked for someone with brown hair and a bar uniform, but she didn't saw him, just Sally, the other bartender. Maybe he has a day off?

She headed towards the bar to order a drink, leaning against the counter and looked around, no sign of him. Maybe she had gone there for nothing. Sally approached and Y/n smiled asking for a drink, she didn't want to ask about him because it would be too much and besides Sally didn't recognize her, or pretended not to, so it would be weird.

- Special night? - Y/n asked when she delivered her drink, indicating the number of people and why the dance floor was open.

- Yeah, we do it every friday, the bar ends up turning into a club. - Sally replied taking some glasses and turned to serve other customers.

She picked up her glass and headed out onto the dance floor. It wouldn't hurt for her to have a little fun. Weaving through the crowd, she started shyly dancing for a few long minutes alone, until a guy approached.

-Hey ...-he said smiling and stopped in front of her.

- Hey... - Y/n said suspiciously and looked around drinking her drink.

- I saw you're alone... Can I stay here? he asked and Y/n bit her lip thoughtfully. Well, Tom clearly wasn't there and what if his ideas didn't just depend on him? But of her hooking up with someone? Anyone...

- Of course! - she said smiling at last and he approached dancing with her while the lights flashed. He was handsome, had those piercing eyes that wouldn't stop watching her every move.

Another song started to play and Y/n started dancing more sensually. The boy came even closer placing his hand on her waist and she smiled, satisfied with her effect. Everything was going well until she glanced at the bar and found a pair of brown eyes staring at her.

Tom. So there he was, wearing his uniform, his hair pulled back as usual, he was gorgeous and with a shaker in one hand shaking furiously. He didn't take his eyes off hers which made her shiver.

He just looked away when he had to take care of the next customer, and Y/n looked at the guy in front of her, where she now had a hand on his shoulder. Who was she kidding? She wanted Tom... At least she would try to have him that night, because she was curious to test her theory with him.

- I'll be right back. - she said and the guy opened his arms disappointed as she walked away, taking the rest of her drink and heading towards the bar again.

She leaned against the counter and saw Tom saying goodbye to a customer looking at her from the corner of his eye. She approached her and grinned when he stopped in front of her.

- This is getting embarrassing darling... - he said wiping the counter with a towel.

- What are you talking about?- she asked raising an eyebrow.

- You coming here just to see me? Tsc tsc... pathetic - he said with a smirk and Y/n felt her stomach turn with anxiety as he looked up at her.

- And who said I came here for you? - She said trying to hide it.

- I don't know, maybe because you could have gone to any bar better than this one in the entire city, but you chose this one, strange isn't it? - He asked taking her glass and preparing another drink.

- Funny, I only came here because I liked the place last time... Besides I was even flirting with another guy seconds ago, so your theory doesn't make sense. - Y/n said ironically and did not take her eyes off his trying to be firm on her tone.

- Yeah, I know... But it's funny that you didn't take your eyes off me while dancing with him... - he said putting her glass, now full, back on the counter.

- I was just surprised to have seen you, since I had even forgotten that you worked here. - She said drinking a sip from her glass and he laughed ironically.

-Of course love ... Of course ...-he said tilting his head to the side and approached his face to hers leaning on the counter. Y/n stared at him a little lost in his scent coming in waves to her nose and she could now see his freckles up close, as well as the arrogant smile that never left his face.

- I bet you came here for another round, right? he said quietly, his breath hitting her face and she almost closed her eyes. -Getting dressed like that, dancing sensually while watching me...-he said biting his lip looking her face up and down and stopping at her lips. Y/n swallowed, ok he had an almost paranormal effect on her.

- I-I... - she stuttered and he smiled even more seeing her disconcerted. - I don't know what you're talking about. - Y/n said finally and walked away a little, wanting to get out of that situation. She wanted him, but she didn't want to give out so easily.

- Of course you don't know sweetheart, but I can remind you later. - He said, winking and then walking away, heading towards another customer who had arrived.

Y/n let out the air she didn't even know she was holding, tooking a big swig of her drink and set the glass on the counter heading back to the floor. Tom was very arrogant, but denying that she didn't like it was a lie.

She arrived on the floor and went back to dancing closer. The guy from before now was talking to another girl which made her a little sad, she wanted to have fun with Tom's face some more. She stayed there for a few minutes, until three people approached her, surrounding her.

- Hey... Aren't you the Y/n? - a girl said and Y/n wanted to hide for a moment.

- Erm... I am. - She said smiling.

- I saw you in an interview last week! I love your books! Take a picture with me? she asked taking her cell phone out of her pocket.

- Of course! - Y/n said and posed with the three people while they took pictures.

- Hey! You are Y/n aren't you? I saw you in Emma's birthday pictures! -a guy said right behind approaching too and some people around her start to look at her.

- It is true! I recognized her from somewhere! - another girl said also approaching and Y/n started to get a little scared. She didn't see the harm in taking pictures with some fans, but being buried by them was a nightmare.

- Take a picture with me? - another also said.

- Your books are terrible! - another one shouted laughing.

- I bet the next one will be even worse! 

- Who is this? Never heard of it!

- I bet it must be some actress wanting attention.

And when she saw she was surrounded by a crowd almost being suffocated, but more people kept surrounding her and filling her with questions about her book, or cursing her in some way, which started to make her sick and claustrophobic .

-Please, guys...-she started to speak, but her voice broke and was lost with the loud music and with the people talking loudly around her. For a moment she thought she was going to pass out. Until she felt someone putting a hand on her waist and guiding her out of the crowd hurriedly walking beside her.

The crowd started to follow them and Y/n just stared at her feet, still feeling her heart beat fast. The next thing she saw was this person pulling her to the side of the bar through a door and then closing it.

He looked around when the light was turned on and saw some boxes on the floor and shelves. She was in a warehouse and Tom was standing in front of her.

- You are okay?- he asked looking at her worriedly.

- I...- She closed her eyes for a few seconds and opened them again. - I'm fine, it was just a scare, thank you for saving me...

- It's ok darling... - he said approaching to check if she was really ok and Y/n felt dizzy, staggering a little and he held her by the waist preventing her from falling. - Whoa, I don't think you're okay, love.

- It's ok, it was just an anxiety attack with drinking... - she said putting her hand on her temples, feeling her vision rotate a little. - I just... I really want to leave.

- Okay, how about we walk slowly and I take you home? -He said still holding tight to her waist and she looked at him.

-O-ok...- she said nodding and they started walking slowly.

After passing through the warehouse, Tom opened another door that opened into the backyard of the bar, where he could see his car. He helped her in and sat down next to her.

- Tom? - Y/n asked when he started the car and starting to move.

- Huh? -he said turning his face towards her.

- Can you... Can you take me somewhere else? I don't want to go home... - she said feeling a little pathetic. But she didn't want to face her gigantic apartment right now, wanted to be with someone somewhere else who didn't remember what she'd just been through.

- Sure darling... - he said stopping at the red light. - Where you want to go?

- Could be your house? I mean, I don't want to take advantage or anything, I just... I need to calm down somewhere else... - She started to say hesitant.

- Hey, fine, no problem. -He said putting his hand in hers, that was on her lap, comforting her and she shook her head, seeing him to remove, putting back on the steering wheel. She wanted him to keep his hand there, but obviously she stay quiet, leaning her head against the window, trying to calm down.

After a few minutes they reached his building, where Tom parked and helped her to go out of the car. Y/n followed him to the front door and they took the elevator. She was still silent the whole time and he didn't want to say anything either, just glanced at her time to time, maybe checking her if she was okay and looking away afterwards.

They arrived at Tom's apartment and Y/n looked around. It was small but cozy. There was a living room with a small kitchen and a hallway leading to another door that appeared to be his bedroom.

- How about you stay in my room and I give you some clothes to make you more comfortable? -He said putting his hand on her back guiding her while she nodded.

They entered the room and Y/n sat on the edge of the bed. As Tom opened his closet, taking off his shoes and choosing a comfortable T-shirt and pants for her to wear. He approached her again putting the clothes beside her.

- Well, you can make yourself comfortable ok? I'll let you... - he start to said.

- Tom. - Y/n interrupted him. - Please stay here. - She said feeling her heart start beating fast and her breathing quicken. She thought back to the horrible comments and the crowd that had surrounded her. Maybe now pictures of her were all over the internet and it made her anxious again. She closed her eyes feeling tears wanting to flow. She opened them again and the tears finally spilled out, rolling down her cheeks.

- Hey, hey darling. It’s alright, I'm here. -he said getting down in front of her, putting a hand on her cheek wiping away some tears.

- Sorry, I just... That's ridiculous, sorry...

- Shh... - he said calming her and looking at her. - It's not ridiculous ok? You don't need to apologize for anything. -He said caressing her cheek.

- It's just... I keep thinking about those horrible comments and how my picture must be all over the place. - Y/n said wiping some tears that insisted on falling.

- Darling... You don't need to think about it, okay? Those people who said that are terrible, I don't want you to think about anything now how about that? - he said and Y/N looked at him.

- I wish I could turn off those thoughts. -she said sniffling a little, averting her eyes and Tom stroked her leg slowly comforting her. For a moment she felt her body shiver, but it was because Tom was touching her and not because of her crisis. He stopped pulling his hand away and Y/n looked at him. - Tom... Can you continue?

- What do you mean? - he asked confused looking into her eyes.

- Touching me... I mean, you were doing a good job distracting me. - She said smiling slightly and he smiled back.

- Sure…- he said getting down on his knees and taking her calf slowly and kissing her lightly, not taking his eyes off hers at any time. Y/n wanted to close her eyes, but at the same time wanted to look at him, so she decided to keep them open.

Tom took off his sandals slowly, and was kissing from her calf to her thigh, stroking lightly with his hand that held her, and she felt shivers down her spine. . He reached her inner thigh and took a small bite causing her to sigh and bite her lip in response. He lifted his head to look at her and smiled. Y/n not resisting, bent down kissing him with desire. He placed one of his hand on her face kissing her back while his other hand still rested on her thigh squeezing.

She kept kissing him until she felt she needed of air and they parted, out of breath. Tom touched his nose to hers lightly and Y/n closed his eyes feeling him.

- Tom... I want to feel you... - she said approaching her mouth again. - Make love with me? - she asked quietly and she could feel him smile against her mouth.

-Whatever you want sweetheart... - he said and stood up suddenly with hush, bringing her along  by her legs, making her gasp in surprise, putting her down on the bed and lying on top of her afterwards.

He went back to kiss her, exploring her mouth eagerly and she placed her hand on the back of her neck, pulling his hair. He paced his hands over her body and she hurriedly took his shirt off, running hers over his defined bare chest.

- I didn't tell you this before, but you look wonderful in that dress, teased me all night, but I confess I'd rather see you without... - He bit down lightly below her ear making her moan low, he raised the hem of her dress, stepping away and helping her get it off and throwing it aside.

Now he was kissing her collarbone, lowering the kisses to her breasts making her arch her back a little wanting to get even closer to his mouth. When she reliase he had removed her bra and smirked looking at her.

- I have to be honest...I missed that image. - he said and Y/n almost hid by the way he looked at her, it was like she was a sculpture, it was a look of admiration and desire. A look that made her forget the world.

He kissed her breasts and positioned himself between her legs, meanwhile taking off his pants, along with his boxers, while still paying attention to each of her nipples, sucking them making her moan low. He returned his kisses to her lips again kissing her more slowly this time, moving his hand to her panties and running his fingers slowly through the fabric, setting aside and feeling how pathetically wet she was for him. Y/n moaned against his lips again and he groaned pulling back a little.

-I love how you're always ready for me darling...-he said making his lips touch hers lightly and she could only moan in response as he made slow circles on her clit.

- Tom... - she said weakly and he smiled seeing how she was vulnerable for him. - Please, I need you inside me, now... - Y/n managed to said between moans, arching her waist against his hand.

- So demanding and desperate love ... - he said taking his hand of her making her protest with the lack of contact. - But I have to confess that you get even hotter that way. - He said stretching to get a condom in the drawer on the side of the bed and opened the package adjusting on his member right after. Y/n ran her hands on his arms, meanwhile, just admiring his body and how lucky she was. He looked back at her and smiled seeing that she was admired him with concentration. - Still with me darling?

She looked him in the eye again and nodded, kissing his neck then making him bite his lip. Tom took his cock closing his eyes and penetrated her slowly, so that she got used to his size. When he was fully inside her he turned to look at her closely and stroked her cheek lightly as if asking permission to move, which she readily agreed.

He started to move slowly, making her feel every piece of him by wich thrust he was doing, until he picked up a fast pace that made her moan with pleasure gripping his shoulders tightly and even scratchin him a little. He made her feel like she was flying and he penetrated her so deliciously it felt like a dream.

Tom took one of her legs and wrapped it around his waist, making him penetrate her even deeper, which made her almost combust. He was silent the entire time, as well as her, what could be heard were just the moans of the two that echoed through the room.

After what seemed like an eternity. Tom slowed his pace a little. Putting one of his hands on the side of Y/n's head, squeezing the sheet and the other on her leg, squeezing it willingly.

- Fuck Darling... I’m gonna come... - he said breathlessly lost in his pleasure.

- Tom... - Y/n could only said and he took his hand from her leg going to her clit again stimulating it with his fingers and increasing his pace again, until the two reached the orgasm together between moans and low breathless curses.

Tom placed a few kisses on Y/n's neck returning to his senses and Y/n closed her eyes just feeling his touch. He then got off her and lay beside her looking at the ceiling. Catching his breath. After cleaning themselves in silence, the two returned to bed lying side by side.

- You ok? he asked finally breaking the silence looking at her.

-More than ok...- Y/n said lying on his side towards him. -I'm just tired...-she said lazily starting to close her eyes and the last thing she felt before falling asleep was Tom kissing her forehead.

taglist: @usuck​ @petesrparker​

[melissa-kenobi]

Paperwork

[ARC Trooper Fives x Reader]

A/N: i was missing Fives so here's some fluff with him 🥰

Summary: Fives is forced to catch up on his paperwork whether he likes it or not.

Word Count: 2.1k

You were exhausted to say the least, your muscles screaming for a rest, for you to stop and take a break, whether it be 5 minutes or an hour, but you couldn't. Not when there was a war raging on and you need to be there. Waving to Anakin as you passed his tent, you saw your commander sat beside some of your men, he looked exhausted. Eyes filled with the same exhaustion you felt, as he spoke tirelessly with your men.

"General!" Kiri replied as he saw you approach him, immediately standing up and saluting you.

"Stand down Kiri, how many times have I told you?" You laughed as you gently pushed him down to sit once more.

"Sorry General." He smiled bashfully.

"I need to find Captain Rex? Some of his troopers haven't filed their reports and the Admiral needs them in by eight hundred hours today." You asked Kiri, who let out a small yawn before shaking himself and replying.

"I'm not too sure General. Rex did mention having to chase Fives and Echo for their paperwork in the 501st barracks." You smiled in response as you stood up, hand situated on Kiri's shoulder as you guided him up.

"Thank you Kiri. Walk with me." You asked, more like ordered politely.

"But... General!... th-" You cut Kiri off with a stern look before taking off, your commander following behind you as he picked up his helmet.

"Kiri, I'm concerned for your health." You looked at him as you approached the barracks for the 265th. "You haven't been yourself lately, I've seen your performance drop slightly."

You watched as Kiri's eyes widened in shock. That was the last thing he expected to be told by you. "General, no. I e-"

"Kiri, you're not in trouble. I'm just worried about you." Kiri nodded in agreement.

"General if I might?" You nodded for him to continue. "You haven't been yourself either, I see you looking exhausted and on the brink of death sometimes."

Your eyes downcast as you took in what Kiri said, immediately ready to deny everything, but your commander had a way of seeing past you. He smiled as he placed a soft hand on your shoulder, ready to speak but was interrupted by someone.

"Y/N! Ahh, help me General!!!"

The voice of ARC Trooper Fives ran behind you, hands on your hips, ducking down as he tried his best to hide from someone. You ultimately guessed it was Rex, most probably wanting Fives to get his paperwork done instead of heading to 79s.

"Fives!" You yelped, abruptly turning around. Your face softened as you watched him, his eyes focused on yours as he grinned cheekily, hands on your hips as he blinked innocently at you.

"Yes General?" He teased but was soon cut short by the booming tone of Captain Rex.

"FIVES!"

You raised an eyebrow at Fives who only shrugged in response before turning to Kiri who seemed amused at the situation. "Kiri, what I was saying before was that..."

Captain Rex had stormed up to you, eyes furious as you face turned from Kiri to face Rex. "Rex, what's happened?"

"What's happened General? I'll tell you what happened, your little boyfriend here hasn't done his paperwork since 7 months ago!" Your eyes widened in shock before glaring at Fives who cowered under your glare. "Cody's on my case about it because General Kenobi needs the reports from a mission Fives took and they're not there, because someone decided partying at 79s was more important!"

"FIVES!" You yelled, after hearing Rex's confession, suddenly shocked that Fives had left it for so long.

"Yes honey?" Fives tried, pulling lovey eyes on you, but it didn't work.

"Go with Rex and bring your paperwork to my tent. Be there in 5." You commanded him as he let go of you and make a sad cute face, trying his best to appeal to your softer side.

It didn't work.

"Captain, I'll make sure he gets all of it done tonight." Rex nodded as he tugged Fives along with him. Kiri on the other hand was just about to slip away before you grabbed his arm and tugged him into the 265th barracks.

"Now you!" You pointed at Kiri, whose eyes were wide with shock. "Get some rest Kiri. If I find you out there, you'll be in deep trouble." You warned as you left the tent.

"Sir yes sir." You heard Kiri whispered as you imagined he got ready to finally get some godammned rest.

***

Fives had dragged himself to your tent, his eyes wide with deception as you stood by your desk, the chair already pulled out, your arms crossed as you waited for him to take a seat. Fives may have gotten the wrong idea when you said you were going to make sure he got his paperwork done, it would seem that you actually meant business.

"But cyare, I can't do all of it now!" Fives protested as he took his seat, looking up at you, his eyes trying thier hardest to convince you.

"No Fives. If you don't finish every single piece of paperwork, you'll be put on leave till you finish it. No matter how long it takes." You threatened, it was an empty threat you knew, but it was what got Fives started on his reports as he racked his brains for whatever had happened in those missions.

After 3 long excruciatingly long hours, Fives was at least a third of the way through his paperwork. You looked up from your seat opposite him only to find him staring right back at you with tired eyes and a yawn before he gave you a little chuckle.

"Are you not going to help me honey?" He asked ever so sweetly that you would have caved if you didn't see the stack of paper on the left that you had to do yourself.

"Nope. Sorry Fives, no can do." You smiled as you patted his hand as he slumped to the table in exhaustion. "Got my own work to do." You yawned and rubbed your eyes causing Fives to look at you in concern.

"Hey, cyar'ika, are you alright?" Fives asked gently when he saw you yawn 4 times in the span of a minute. His eyes turning from tired to genuine concern for you.

"You're still not getting out this Fives." You tried to joke but ended up yawning as you slumped in your seat. Fives immediately concerned for your health jumped out of his seat and picked you up from yours, his hands wrapping around your waist and legs, lifting you bridal style as he walked towards the bunks in your tent.

"Fives!" You yelped after he had placed you down on the bed. Confused you rapidly got up out of bed and headed towards your desk before Fives pushed you back down and collapsed onto you.

"No. Cyar'ika, I know you're tired and you haven't been sleeping." Your mouth opened to deny what he was saying but he only gave you a look. "Kiri told me. Don't try it."

"Traitor..." You whispered under your breath, you were certainly going to have some words with Kiri about privacy. Fives pressed you into the mattress as you wiggled around trying to get out.

"Hey! You can't do that! I'm the General!" You weakly protested, trying to shove Fives off you.

"When it comes to your health, I outrank you honey." Fives smiled softly as he trailed a finger down your cheek, your eyes closing shut at the warm gesture as your leaned into his touch.

"But my paperwork... I can't, I hav-"

Fives was about to cut you off but you managed to do it yourself with a deep yawn as you blinked rapidly to keep your eyes awake. The warmth of your bed and Fives was proving to be a good combination as it was slowly lulling you to sleep. Fives gently pulled himself off you, tucking you into bed, wrapping the duvet around your body as he slid in beside you.

Still awake, you mumbled. "Don't forget your paperwork and wake me up in 30 mins." Your left hand going out to bring Fives' paperwork so he could work on them as you cuddled into his side.

"Go to sleep cyar'ika, I'll wake you." Fives smiled as he ran a hand through your hair, softly massaging your head to sleep. He leaned down to press a sweet kiss to your forehead as your arms tightened around his waist.

"Mmmhh... love you Fives."

"Love you too cyar'ika."

***

"Oh maker... is that the General?"

"What are they doing?"

"Is she.... sleeping?"

Whispers scurried around your ears as you blinked your eyes awake, suddenly taking in your surroundings, only to find some of your squadron peeking through.

"Oh kriff! She's awake!" You quickly got up only to be blocked by a heavy arm on your stomach, weighing you down. Kriff, you'd overslept, but maker did that feel good. As you cast your eyes down, you found Fives sleeping soundly besides you as he lightly snored. You lifted his hand gently off you as you placed a kiss on his temple where his tattoo lay. His face smushed into the pillow as slept soundly.

"Fives... honey....sweetie..." You tried, calling him pet names till he arose from his sleep. You traced a finger down the side of his face, hoping that would trigger some sort of reaction for him to wake.

"Cyar'ika... c'mon Fives..." When he didn't, you decided you would use a slight more aggressive tactic, you placed your hands on his shoulders, slowly shaking him awake.

"Fives!" You whispered harshly. Fives only snuggled into your further, small moans leaving him mouth as he continues sleeping.

You could sense General Kenobi and Commander Cody was near and you needed to get up. Kriff you thought. Did we even finish the paperwork from yesterday? Now becoming more worried you pulled the duvet off Fives before pushing him roughly off the bed, resulting in him falling to the cold ground with a heavy thump and a string of curses.

"Well that worked." You smiled as you leaned over the bed to see Fives on the floor, groaning in slight pain. "You've been through worse honey, now ge-"

All of a sudden Fives leapt up from the ground, onto the bed rolling you over onto your back, his hands holding your wrists above your head as he snuggled into your neck, leaving small kisses as you writhed under him.

"Fives!! What are you doing?"

"Getting revenge." He mumbled as he slowly traced his way down your body, kisses being left down your neckline, towards your collarbone and to your breasts, while his left hand that was free crept down to your lower regions, teasing you slowly. You let out a small moan of pleasure before your hips automatically thrusted against his hand. Fives being the cheeky shit he was, pulled away, letting go of your hands and crawling off the bed, offering a hand to you.

"C'mon, General Kenobi will be here soon. He's waiting for us." Fives winked at you as he pulled on his armour, your eyes wide as you scurried out of bed, your lust for Fives forgotten as you quickly got ready.

"Fives?" You panicked. "We didn't finish the paperwork. I'm so sorry, I'll have to come up with an excuse for Obi-Wan."

Fives didn't reply, only walked to the entrance to let Kenobi and Cody in. "Morning General, Cody."

"Good morning Fives. Where is General L/N?" Obi-Wan asked as you came out the door, greeting them.

"Brilliant, now that you're here, do you have the paperwork and reports?" Obi-Wan asked, eyes soft and gentle. You opened your mouth to explain but Fives beat you to it. Pulling out his stack of paperwork he handed it to Obi-Wan, who quickly assessed it with a critical eye before nodding.

"And here's General L/N's." Fives handed Obi-Wan your stack of paperwork, all completed as you struggle to keep your eyes and mouth void of shock.

"Well done Fives. Although I would appreciate it if you did your paperwork on time. I don't want to have Rex or Anakin bothering me about it." Obi-Wan spoke good naturedly before heading off with Cody.

"Fives..."

Fives only smiled in response.

"You didn't have to."

"I wanted to." He took your hand in his as he pulled you closer to him. "You needed the break."

"Thank you." You smiled reaching up to kiss him. You really did have the best boyfriend ever.

"I think you deserve a reward cyare." You dragged him back inside the tent, laughing with glee as he picked you bridal style.

"I love you Fives."

"I love you too Y/N."

***

Taglist: @tobitofunction @pinkiemme @lysawayne @shadowfoxey

[mistaeq]

Guido Mista: Just For Fun?

TW // nsfw content !!

Sssooo... this had to be a fic due on Mista's birthday, but I got killed by work and assignments and stuff, and could never manage to finish, but tonight I took a little time and concentrated on it properly before it was really TOO late. Enjoy~ ^_^

Guido Mista having a SPICY time with a neutral!reader

WORD COUNT: 3.04k

It felt so good. Damn, it felt so good. You weren't even sure there was love for you, by his side. But you wouldn't have stopped him for any reason. The gunslinger had come to you to tell you about Bucciarati's orders for the day. You had to show up at Passione's headquarters in a couple of hours, so, just for the sake of not getting bored in the meantime, you invited Mista in your house to have a chat. Unfortunately, or maybe luckily, the two of you seemed to have other plans in mind.

The things about the man exploring your body with his gaze, wasn't new to you. You'd been noticing this before, at work, outside, and in general. And it wasn't like you weren't interested in Mista's attention, you just couldn't help but thinking that having relationships with colleagues wasn't the best choice you could make. Little did it matter in that moment, realizing the two of you would have had to make up a believable excuse for your late arrival at Passione's headquarters.

"G-Guido!" bringing your thoughts cruelly back to the present, the gunslinger thrusted inside of your spent hole for one last time, without either of you coming. It had been a strong thrust, without mincing words, not slow and definitely not gentle, rough enough to hear you raise your voice for him. You just liked this thing about Mista being so mercilessly rough, and you couldn't tell you weren't expecting something like this from a man like him. You had stayed still until you felt his shaft come out of your sensitive body. And despite that, you had remained folded on the bed, because you knew him, Guido Mista would have never let you in peace so easily. Oh, he still had so much to do, with your body, after so much time of waiting and pushing it back.

Just in general, he liked to insist and keep going, starting from the most absurd and almost useless things, in any situation, like telling everyone about the fact that Narancia - he had told about it at least five times, once for every Bucciarati Gang ​​member, him and Narancia excluded - had once scared him late at night during a sleepover by his house. The truth is, if we really want to keep a solid and actual comparison, that Mista guy's brains almost worked like his good companion's, Narancia. He probably soaked up some parts of his behavior, too. The most messed up ones, if I'm allowed to say that.

A kind of soul of the party, without them the boredom used to make itself easy to be felt, or in any case it made his absence noticed when nobody laughed or joked, but sexually speaking, to stay in the italian area, there is a valid and comparison with the loud mess you can find in Naples's markets and squares, too. People screaming, people yelling, someone laughing and a neverending music you don't even know where to locate. Oh, and food. Plenty of food. Don't ask an italian to skip a meal, folks. You were now being Guido's three course meal, rather than a snack.

You felt yourself being touched in a way that was anything but chaste by the strong hands of the curly, dark haired boy. It was the representation of a proper Gold Experience, to finally see the hair hidden under that hat of his, and you had to admit that sinking a hand inside of it was amazing. Plus, it perfectly represented his explosive personality. Mista's eighteen years of age - by now - surely influenced his amount of stamina and strength, he had arms that deserved the respect for which they had been designated by his genetic make-up, evidently. As if some foreplay and ministrations were necessary, after the previous hellish - or perhaps heavenly - hour in which nothing else had happened, other than the young italian roughly and ferociously pushing his length into your body, you felt his long and calloused fingers enter your needy hole, not so much time to waste and not many premises to make. Oh good lord.

"Guido..." your soft voice moaned, bending your head forward, then forced to pull it back up when you arched your back due to the sudden but perfect points that the boy's experienced fingers dared to touch.

"Right here...? You want it right here?" he teased. Oh, he had fun teasing. All the gunslinger wanted was to hear you beg for him to give you the pleasure you needed, and he knew where to touch to get you ruined for him. His fingertips grazed against a special spot, once, twice, and he laughed it over, looking at you curling up your fingers everytime, little moans coming out of your throat, your hands gripping on the bedsheets. "Damn tesoro, you're so sensitive..." he said in his hateful, proud, signature mocking tone.

"...O-Oh my god, Guido... this might be the third time you do it... right there..." but that sentence did not last long, considering the gunslinger's intentions, who bent down to use his experienced tongue where before only his fingers were. Fuck that guy and his stupid attitude. Fuck his behavior, fuck his warm tongue, penetrating your needy hole along with his fingers, leaving you speechless and breathless every second more. At least a dozen times, surely, you insulted him, cursing and groaning under the wet and beautiful contact of the boy's lips and tongue as they worked on you. You would have lied, if you said you hadn't dreamt of this before.

Given the position you were now in, when you were too quiet or too noisy for your dirty lover's liking, the size of Mista's hands came in handy, to spank you and startle you enough to react and oblige to his will. He wasn't very gentle, as a sexual character. Let's say that he enjoyed leaving his masterpieces incomplete. Like that orgasm of yours which was very little time apart from exploding, for example. When he withdrew his hands and tongue drom you, you couldn't hold back from complaining... probably too much for the man's liking. "F-Fuck! I was so damn close..." you squealed, disappointed, and let your tongue speak for yourself, shivering because of the current emptiness of your hole. "Why have I chosen to have sex with you... I could have paid someone from the street... or maybe a colleague of yours... hm?"

You had gone too far. At those words, you felt Guido grab your hair in a tight grip. Not too much to seriously hurt you, but enough to fuel your arousal even more. You can't say you haven't obtained exactly what you were looking for. "Excuse me, or better... excuse you, do you mind repeating what you just said, cara/o?" Damn, that turned you on so much. Obey him. Just obey him. You thought, until the brat part of you took over.

"N-no... I ..." you slightly turned towards him, and unexpected as it was, but incredibly hot, his member was right in front of the tip of your nose, right now. You stared at it, bouncing in front of you. Average length, but interesting girth, nothing to say. A good one. You wouldn't have minded to choke on it. "Nothing... I said nothing."

"Nuh-uh, I heard you, little fucker." he pulled you closer to him, his leaking tip now grazing on your cheek, leaving a slightly humid trail behind it. Mista's grip on your hair tightened. "Repeat for me, will you...?" he cooed, faking a soft and calm tone of his voice. Then, he clenched his teeth. "What could you do, you said?" For a split second, you thought about how Bruno was probably waiting for you at Passione's headquarters, and there you were instead, with Mista's cock hanging in front of your face.

"Nothing. I couldn't do anything..."

"Good. That's what I like to hear." with a further squeeze he made you moan and cry out, taking the opportunity to push his leaking member into your mouth. You felt yourself suffocate, Mista had no small one at all, to be completely honest, he was far from it. And you madly liked him, not only for that, also as a person. On a psychological and personal level. Nice, funny, serious when needed - maybe-, and absolutely beautiful. How many people would have sold their soul to the devil, to spend a single night with Naples's forbidden dream - or at least he said so. He probably made it up for his own self-esteem -? He also tasted good, to be honest. Details like those were important, too.

You soon understood that the only way to not to feel too bad with his strength and stamina, was to go along with his desires seriously, and thanks to this little thought that for an hour now had been helping you with Guido's sexual cravings, you brought a hand to the man's member, to help with your hands your work on him. You saw him start to move his hips towards your mouth and back, that choking sensation intensified even more due to the fact that Mista's hips thrusted forward as you bent down on him, yet as much as your eyes could water and tear up, the man's proud moans only hinted at how much it actually excited him, to see you struggle and choke on his length. "Dammit... don't give me those teary eyes... I'm gonna fucking cum." And, deep down, it was a good fuel to your own arousal. But you wouldn't have dared to tell Guido, or you would have made him brag for ages about it.

His movements got to a sudden halt, when the gunslinger reached his high, in the depth of your throat, as his own breath hitched with yours. "Fuck, y/n...!" It was very deep, and due to the choking sensation, your soft face already had two hot, heavy and salty tears running down your cheeks, not really from pain but from exertion, that guttural effort you usually make when you have to throw up, when you yawn and when you cough. Every action that, even if minimal, brings the eyes to that moist, thing layer that, straining even more those feelings, makes it become tiring and uncontrollable tears. You felt Mista's warm cum run down your throat. Still, you took the chance to taste it properly. It was so good. Another thing you wouldn't have told Guido.

It was a different sensation, compared to when you swallowed it down yourself. Or at least it was, in other experiences you had, but you were wondering if it wasn't Guido's presence, making you feel in some sorts of ways. Anyways, by swallowing down yourself, you were fast enough to not to feel the need to cough. But this way, the warm fluid flowed dramatically slowly, along the walls of your throat, down, while you only wondered when you would stop feeling it moving in your lower neck and upper chest. The satisfied look on Mista's face, who was now approaching you again, after having pulled his member out of your tender mouth, spoke by itself, and said a few simple and easily interpretable words on the line of "You will feel this warmth also somewhere else, soon." and perhaps you weren't even really complaining about it.

Even if you hoped for it to not to be that intense and strong. Too bad it would have been such, but Mista knew what he was doing, so you just chose to let him do his thing to you. "...If you do want it, it is." oh. The fact that he made sure you were still agreeing to it, caused a weird warmth to pop up in your chest. Dominant Guido was a good Guido, but respectful Guido was the best version of him. You just smiled, and quickly nodded. Of course you wanted more. You felt your legs get grabbed and opened by strong and calloused hands, you were still ready and sensitive for him, despite all the times you had come for him that evening. And despite all the times he had denied you an orgasm.

He slipped his hard length inside of you without hurting your sensitive hole too much, or maybe it was just you who were already too used to keeping that damned neapolitan inside of your body, for that night. And you thanked God for it, otherwise it would have been quite painful. A beautiful pain, in any case. First thrust, Mista groaned very loudly, clenching his teeth. One day you'll complain to him, about the fact that he'll be expecting too much time from you to dedicate to having sex. "But you can stretch your muscles like this," he'll insist, looking for a bright side or a diversionary way to respond to your grip on him against the wall. You held on the bedsheets and bit your lower lip, keeping a moan from coming out.

Second thrust, even stronger. You began to even pull on the bedheets because of the gunslinger's cock, grazing just on the right spots, the spots only him could brag about being able to find so quickly. Maybe you would have ruined or ripped your own bedsheets. Just maybe. Worse than that time when Narancia and him had decided to become the funny people of the situation, and by folding and shredding Pannacotta's bedsheets, they made some table doilies. Afterwards, Fugo didn't really want to punish them too much, to be honest. Just enough to cause the two of them three or four displaced fractures, but obviously Bruno and Leone wouldn't let him do that either.

Third thrust, Guido had started seriously moaning on his own breathy groans. He sounded like he had started to chuckle on his own voice, and that... well, that was kinda hot. "How... How do you keep on being so tight after all of this... you're just like I dreamt... or even better, I say..." you felt your arousal reach the stars, when you realized Mista had been dreaming of you. Well, you would have lied if you told him you hadn't been dreaming of him as well. But all you could do in that moment, was moan and chuckle with him. He was such a funny man, after all. You thought of that time when, together with Giorno, he had well thought about ordering a dick-shaped pizza for Abbacchio's birthday, the package labeled "For a pissing goth". How were you thinking of this while having sex? Oh my god.

Fourth thrust. You were now trembling, along with moaning. "Fuck, Guido... just like that..." you begged, clenching your teeth and not only. "Make me cum, please..." He was being so damn strong, Mista, in that moment, but thinking about that little, big, funny part of his personality, from the vicissitudes with the Gang - although he almost never admitted to be guilty of those - to his iconic tetraphobia, the fear of number four. This is why, he was pretty fast to thrust inside of you an essential fifth time. And the thrusts that appeared so strong at first, seemed now softer, slower. Slower. And frenzied, because of his own climax approaching him.

"Y-Y/n... cum now...! Fuck... cum for me." How could you even think about resisting to it? You let go and rode your high, followed by him. Witnessing such an intense pleasure and feeling of being filled in such a good way from the neapolitan gunslinger, your body trembled and shivered, your hands scratched and caressed the perfect and imperfect skin of the shoulders of Guido Mista, who, filling you with what was left of his tiredness, he let go and collapsed on your sweaty body. "Thank you... damn... thank you." in that moment, you really hoped he hadn't just took an occasion to have sex or to empty his balls. But your fear disappeared when he lay his head on your chest and let you sink a hand into his dark curls, which were sticking to his sweaty face.

For a while, you stayed there, hoping he wouldn't drift asleep. You wanted to understand what all of that meant for him. Because it genuinely meant a lot for you. You had been waiting for that. All you had to understand was if Guido had been dreaming of you to just get a piece of your ass or a piece of your heart. "Bruno's waiting for us, Mista..." you whispered, but your body language fooled you. Your voice sounded like you wanted to get up and get to Passione's Headquarters, but your legs wrapped around the man's waist told another story.

"I don't really care, if I really have to be honest." the gunslinger mumbled, with a sleepy voice. "I'd go there to just look like a mess. I can't possibly focus on anything else, after a good lovemaking." oh you liked the sound of that. You giggled, that was a hilarious answer, but mostly you chuckled out of joy.

"Lovemaking, huh..." you repeated, stroking his soft, curly hair once more. "So it meant something to you." at your words, you saw Mista's eyes widen and his head get up from your chest. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I... I was lowkey scared you just wanted to get a good time with my ass and let go."

"Me? Just get a good time with your ass?" he pretended to be deeply offended and pouted, making you giggle again. You didn't even mean to express that much joy, but you just felt your heart replenish with feelings. "Who do you think I am? I'm a gentiluomo, I'd never just use a babe like you for sex and nothing more. I'm... a responsible man and shit." yeah, that's just the answer a responsible man would give. But you were satisfied and happy. And amused.

"You know what, Guido... let's just stay here and rest. Bruno can wait." Maybe it was too early to talk about proper love, but you would have had a lot of time, to talk about it.

That is, if Bruno doesn't kill the two of you first.

[sebastianshaw]

Meme from "Broad City" quotes

“You said if you were ever going to do same sex experimentation, it was going to be with me.”

"Who would you rather go down on you? Michael Bublé or Janet Jackson?”

“Can Janet Jackson go down on me while Michael Bublé narrates it in song?”

“What’s an Arch de Triumph?”

“It’s when two dudes go down on us, is how I picture it, and they’re butt to butt and then you and I do Oprah hands.”

“I really don’t feel like going into work today.”

"Great, I’ll see you in 30 days then. . . biiiiitch.”

“Maybe your dad should have pulled out.”

“I need someone for the amazing race because my mom just pulled out.”

“I also have business with the bank. I’d like to cash these nickels, and I’ll have them in quarters, please. Thank you so much.”

“I’m a sexual X-Man. I’m Wolverine. I’m Vulvarine!”

"Oh my Lady God, thank you!"

“The vagina is nature’s pocket. It’s natural and responsible.”

“I would take you on my shoulders – like I’d strap you up and be like, ‘Let’s go through helllll.’”

“I’m not sexually aroused, I’m fiscally aroused.”

“That’s literally a one stop pussy shop. I love it!”

“I finally figured out my eyebrows, They’re sisters, not twins.”

“Four R’s, my friend-- Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Rihanna.”

“Statistically we’re headed toward an age where everybody’s going to be, like, caramel and queer.”

“I’m an adult and I’m responsible. Let’s go get some candy.”

“I finally masturbated above the covers without my eyes being closed.”

“I just want to get home and watch my shows.”

"You just pulled a bag of pot out of your vagina."

"Do you ever get hair from your head stuck in your buttcrack in the shower?"

"I'm still not over Amy Winehouse."

"I can't really imagine what it's like for people with blue eyes."

"This isn't a sugar daddy thing. This is just an old established guy paying for his younger friend who he also has sex with kind of thing."

"You're like 12, right?"

"I love me some dumplings. It's like a squirrel clutch with a meatball in it."

"I was so worried I baked a whole cake and then I ate a whole cake."

"In da clerb, we all fam."

"I know you from your ass better than I know your face."

"I respect you respecting me."

"You know what's cool about this party? We're the sexiest girls here."

"I'll pick up your poop. You're worth it."

"This is what living on the edge looks like."

"You got beauty. You got brains. You're a fucking genius. Do you wanna kiss?"

"You look sexy and vivacious and artsy and, like, young-wife material but, like, taut and teasy still. It's a perfect combo."

“Witches aren’t monsters, they’re just women! They’re fucking women who cum and giggle and play in the night. And that’s why everybody wants to set them on fire ‘cause they’re so fucking jealous."

"YAS KWEEN!"

“I AM NOT A MOM!”

"You never know if you never try and if you never try you never know."

“I’m only 27, what am I? A child bride?”

"You have been busting my balls all day over a sahaaaandwich shahooppe?!"

"I don’t watch anything but solo porn because regular porn is like, “Shut up, little girl! Wash my feet!” And she’s like "uhhh don’t tell my dad ok? Because I’m just barely legal. I love shaved pubes and tanned, crispy bellies and taints.” It’s like ugh!"

"I don’t have any money. I’m a wittle baby."

“Buckle up, buttercup”

"Money is a mind control technique that used to quantify the progress of the patriarchy!"

"Nose, vagina, butthole. If God didn’t want us to put our fingers up then then why did She make them perfectly finger sized ?"

"I’ll see you when u wake up, and if you don’t wake up I’ll still see you cause I’m gonna kill myself and meet you in heaven or whatever.”

"If you train your eyes, you can see their religion”

“I know it’s like “pwease Mr. Cwusty old white man, can I pwease keep my ovaries?” Alright bitch you better vote, text me when you do”

“I mean we had been together how long, and I still never saw nipples?”

“OOPS I guess I don’t know my own strength”

“Pillows are nature’s packing peanuts!”

“The student has become the teacher!”

"This is some high class shit."

"It's 2014. Anal is on the menu."

"Where ISN'T the bathroom?"

"I was cyberbullied within an INCH of my life last night"

“I saw your tweets and I wanted to check you out but I also wanted to respect your space”

"I am going to respect your dick later."

“You’re my lil cupcake”

“I once ate a corn on the cob. Including the cob”

"Ugh, who YELLS?"

"GET OFF THE BALLS AND GO!"

"Wanna get, like, a bunch of hot dogs?"

"Did you draw that painting?"

“You have to swipe yaas, you can’t swipe naas.”

“I fucked you in the ASS the first night we did ANYTHING. I think that’s pretty fuckin mature."

"Well aren't you a hot diggity dog and a scalawag to boot?"

"In the club, we are all family. Are you racist?"

“Welcome to Florida, America’s droopy dick”

"This is the men's room. Uh DOIIII!"

“You’re so full of shit I need a plunger."

“Thank you SO much for calling me a star”

"I'm an adult. I should be buying my own pot."

"Coat racks AREN'T for babies!"

"My biggest weakness is that I lose my purse a lot. But my biggest strength is that I always get it back."

"I like to call it jazz becomes it comes out of my horn, and you never know where it's gunna go."

"White people do that dog thing. Black people don't make out with dogs."

"Next thing you know you're pregnant with his sperm and he's sanding down your headboard shirtless."

"We are garbage people living on garbage island!"

"I didn't know you had a veneer and I'm in that mouth on a regular basis."

"I'm not putting weed up inside of me because I'm an adult and I'm responsible."

"I really think you should put your weed in your front hole."

“We’re technically homeless right now.”

"Your ass looks incredible."

"Your ass looks incredible. Your head and body too. But we all know who’s the star of the show here.”

“Who am I? Honey, I have a cyst on my uterus and I need to get fucked until it pops.”

“You want me to FaceTime from the bathroom?”

“Dude, I would follow you into hell, brother!”

“Well, you are funny.”

"Animated movies are where it's at. They're like visual crack."

"All Hollywood media is porn, and all porn is kiddie porn. We live in a rape culture. We just do."

"Who would leave weed in a wall? A weed genius. And she'd leave it there indefinitely in case of emergency."

"Isn't it nuts that pickles were cucumbers? They're the trans people of the vegetable community."

"We are an incredible team and I love you."

"Smart and sexy. She is unreal, this girl."

"I've been overeating this week."

"How DARE you LIE to your WIFE?!"

"Do I or do I not have herpes?"

"Follow your third eye--your clit."

"It's my birthday, I'M KING OF THE WORLD!"

"I mean, the female form---God's hottest creation."

"You have to respect the sanctity of the RSVP."

"Okay, something seems very locked up inside of you."

"You have a way of tainting everything I love."

"I'm gonna be like a successful artist any day now."

"Yeah, I don't wanna rise and grind anymore. I wanna rise and then like lay back down."

"It's like we knew it would happen but we didn't do anything about it."

"ADRENALINE!"

"To be honest, I'm really happy with the way I look."

"WANNA FOOK?"

"Never have I ever read a newspaper."

"This is what living on the edge looks like."

[purplerose244]

Thoughts journal Ninjago season 13!!! 🤩🤩 (3/4)

I am enjoying the season A LOT. The reveal has been thrown already, everything seems to be leading towards something special about Rock Mom and I couldn't hope for something better!! I know Lou will be back so I guess a flashback?... I'M SO EXCITED 💕💕

Alright, let's start!!

DUNGEON PARTY!

Side note, we're past the season and no Nexo Knights reference. Me sad, but me not quitting like ninja!! 💪💪

Korgran of METALONIA?!?! WHERE KARLOF COMES FROM!!! Oh you just love to feed me with good throwbacks, now do you Ninjago crew 😍

Plundar the thief, yeah, the attire gives it away although it is nice. And Fungus... huh... well that explains the mushrooms on the hat I guess 😅

Yep, there we go, a party of adventurers, the DnD situation promised 👈👈 He said loot, I saw a 20 faced dice, nice nice

In these recent seasons adventurers just won't like to do adventures for one reason or another, first uncle Powers, now these guys? I mean Ninjago is in danger every freaking time and you risk your life at every step and there's a new formidable villain every like five seconds but... huh... what was my point again?

THE ANIME STYLE IS BACK 😂😂 Oh boy I can tell we're in for a train to crazy town

I'm thinking this dude looks a lot like He-Man... of course he does, the HECK, am I noticing this just now? 😑

I do agree with mister Korgran's father reluctance about talking like that (I saw too many anime characters like that 😂), but Karlof uses the third person too. Either it's common in Metalonia, or there's a general lack of education there 😅 (I LOVE METAL BOY I MISS HIM 🖤🖤)

Talking axe that doesn't talk, nice 😂

Okay... okay, I need a moment

This is too cute. I know her head is a bit too big but LOOK AT THEM 💛🤍💛🤍 Has Chompy never grown?... wait he did got big that one time... okay... okay, never mind

Well that's a pretty nice party, you got your barbarian, your magic user and your rogue. Kinda misses a healer but still... tomorrow I'm doing a DnD session with my friends and I wanna sound like I know stuff 😂

I just noticed that I haven't seen hidden trap doors like that since Chen, the ABC of villains right there my friends 👆

So the King didn't become evil just because of the skull, he actually wished to obtain it and use the dark power. I get that he wants to defend the city but he is basically remorceless about everything else, so he is guilty. Also DRAGON ABUSER 😡

Poor Vania, but she overcame her Skylor situation very quickly. Proud 💛

There we go with the encouragement, you go Rocky!! We have a crazy Skull dude to turn into dust!! 👿👿

Wait, a promise he made a long time ago? Rock mom?

DUNGEON CRAWL!

ROCK MOM!!! YAAAASSS!!! FINALLY SHE'S HERE!!! 🖤🖤🖤

Oh holy FSM, my heart 💔

MY HEART HURTS SO MUCH. Cole as a kid, Lou is back, Rock Mom IS SICK AND WILL DIE, all the drawings, the picture of them together 😭😭

I cannot, freaking, this kid doesn't want his mom to be sick and he's gotten into troubles at school and she wants him to fight and be strong and right and SHE HAS HIS SAME EYEBROWS 😢😢😢😢😢😢

This scene was really heartbreaking, such a genuine situation with a kid that wants her mom to be fine and proud of him 🖤

Just looked at her VA and it's Erin Matthews 🤩 So first I'm counting it as a Nexo Knights reference just because MACY AND ROBIN ❤🖤❤🖤 Second, wasn't "the mom" going to be voiced by Jillian? Is it... is it Maya? Is she coming back? MAYBE NEXT SEASON??? NYA SEASON?!?!? 🤯🤯

Oh, we're moving on? So... so there's still the stuff about Rock Mom's past to uncover, still unsure if she was the one of the blades for the two tribes

PLUNDAR WE DO NOT DISRESPECT COLE INTO THIS HOUSE VANIA MY GIRL YOU ARE SPEAKING FOR ME TOO 💪💪

The connection between Cole and his mom is the earth itself, I'm loving this concept so much. It's true that he never found himself this deep into his element before, the Caves of Despair were mines but never this deep. This really is rock bottom... HECK YEAH

Well Cole...

Welcome to the colored eyes because of elemental power ninja team!! 💚❤🧡 (without counting the forbidden scroll moments) I LOVE WHEN IT HAPPENS!!! I'M GETTING SO PROUD AND EMOTIONAL!!! I'M PROUDOTIONAL!!! 🤯

Aww, Cole saving his son sensei, very nice. They did save each other a lot 🤷‍♀️

This place reminds me a lot of the Fire Temple where Kai got himself into trouble in season 1 but then saved Lloyd, one of my favorite and most memorable episode of the show... I'M TOO NOSTALGIC RIGHT NOW LET'S MOVE ON

NEVER MIND COLE IS TAKING CHARGE LIKE OLD TIMES HE IS FINALLY THE LEADER AGAIN I'M GONNA CRY ROCKY I'M SO HAPPY YOU DESERVE THIS 🖤

Wu's spinjitzu!! Always nice to see it 😊 And yes Adam is a good boy, and for my arachnophobia is a little freaky saying it 😅

Ah, good Plundar, Cole needs all the appreciation of the world because HE IS SUCH A GOOD PERSON AND AMAZING WARRIOR AND I LOVE HIM AAAAAA

This is probably my favorite episode for now, got Rock Mom, got elemental powers, got a lot of Cole in all of his glory: the leader with a clear smart mind able to lead even strangers, with big heart for what's important 👏👏

I feel like this season is giving him glory, I'm curious about how it will end!!

GRIEF-BRINGER

Okay I know it's the name of the dragon... and it gets me a little antsy 😅

Back to the munce! Still doing as good as ever I see! 😅 And lol, you can't blame Nya for not being nice Jay! Although she is kinda best friends with Ronin who double crossed her multiple times... okay, I see your reasoning Bluebell

There we go, Nya making them listen. I honestly could have seen her just grabbing one of them and make them fly through the the room, still cool though 😎

Back to the geckles! Also doing as good as ever! 😅 These little purple guys are so dang cute, seeing my flame babe trying to lead is so PRECIOUS, and even more PRECIOUS is Zane giving him support... and a rock in the face 🤍🤍

Gotta say

I'm more and more fascinated by their culture 😂😂

Aww little Gleck, everything had started with him after all... wait... HER NAME IS LILLY?!?! ROCK MOM HAS A NAME!!! AND SHE IS GILLIE/MILLIE!!! I KNEW IT!!! 🤩🤩

I think I saw the name somewhere, didn't think it was actually her. I always headcanoned her as Gaia, but Lilly is a very sweet name too 💕

It is pretty nice that even though we as viewers didn't know what happened to Lilly, the ninja knew. It's obvious, they've known each other for so long, but still. It feels nice to see this 😊

Oh-oh, Skull dude is up to something... and he said the title 👈👈

Zane keeps being the sweetest thing ever created, le cute dude 🤍🤍 Never thought I'd see Tin Can and Hothead discussing about lies while two slugs race each other...

I don't know if it's the new animation but the armored suits look CRAZY GOOD, the metal and the details are awesome!! I approve the suits of this season 👍

Pff, they are talking down his sister, if he knew they would be literally toasted 🔥

HUG HUG BEAUTIFUL LEGO HUG!!! And she lifts him up, omg the Smith siblings are back and they are so CUTE 😍

Yep, only he can talk down his sister... and possibly be annihilated right after 😅

Oh, the dragon that almost destroyed the two tribes... OH THE DRAGON THAT ALMOST DESTROYED THE TWO TRIBES!!! 😱😱

NO GUYS DON'T LEAVE LLOYD AND ZANE BEHIND, THEY ARE THE MOST PRONE TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES 😭😱😭😱😭😱

The cringe Kai, the cringe never leaves you alone you beautiful idiot ❤

I cannot believe the animators managed to make Lloyd's LEGO hair swoosh, I must applaude them 👏👏👏 Also POOR BABY ON THE GROUND GIVE HIM A VACATION FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

Well aren't things getting even more complicated 😅 Where is Cole? We need season superstar pronto!

MASTERS NEVER QUIT

Awww, major throwback to the show's most famous motto right in the title! NINJA NEVER QUIT!!! LET'S GO THEN!!! 🤩

The upply team! With the lava beast back... I could easily make comment about how it could be a representation of Cole's feelings since it's LAVA with EARTH and FIRE, and he is running from them... I'M JUST RAMBLING MOVING ON 🖤❤🖤❤

Cole misses the Caves of Despair maybe, he wants to have a round with the carts like in Possession 😂 Was that why he knew it was going to work eventually? That would be histerical, especially since back then they all almost fell into the lava 😅😅

The Heart of the Mountain? Secret temple of the masters of Earth? Possibly hidden in Shintaro? Spinjitzu Burst? Wu, let me ask you this... just in case... is there... perhaps...

IS THERE SOMETHING YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD US??? 😡😡

He is definitely and officially old, only reason why he keeps forgetting to warn people about stuff 😑 I mean, it's not major like with Morro or Aspheera, I guess it's an improvement?... kinda?

So you learn spinjitzu burst if you're surrounded by your element, that sounds pretty awesome! I wonder how it could be with all the others, this can open up kinda like a quest for the true potential but with different places and lots of OP powers and I'M INTO IT 🤩🤩🤩

Okay season, I get it

YOU WANNA MAKE ME CRY 😭😭 I love this aztec vibe, so cool and appropriate she looks STUN 🖤

I didn't expect this much introspection about Cole, I thought it was going to be kinda last minute like with Jay in Prime Empire. I'm so thankful it's not like that, freaking yes. YES. GO COLE BURST OUT!!

... okay, take your time sweetie, no rush. The other ninja are just going to be fried but eh, happens all the time 🤷‍♀️

VANIA MAH GIRL 💕 I understand Wu, I mean the guys kinda learned all they needed already back when they started to train Lloyd. Ever since then, they had been not master and students, but just family. And you always need family, no matter how far you go 🖤

Awwww, Wu! You got your own development too! 👍 So nice to hear "ninja never quit" again, can't be too sure but it's been a while 😍

Let's hope the guys are doing fine resisting while Team Cole arrives 😎😎

[bumbershots]

A CERTAIN ROMANCE

CHAPTER THREE: WHO ARE YOU?

Author’s note: Hello! Once more I would like to thank you all for the love this story’s been getting, it truly blows my mind. I am also looking for a beta reader so if anyone out there is interested let me know! (: Let’s pick up right where we left off...

Story masterlist ** Word count: 2.3K **

Two souls don't find each other by simple accident, Harry thought after taking a seat for the first time that night, his feet were probably going to be swollen tomorrow, they were killing him already. But he wasn't keen on turning down a dance from the girl collapsing in the settee right next to him. A slow Amy Winehouse song was their cue to rest.

"Do you want a beer?" Her voice sounded a bit hoarse, probably from all the giggling and singing she did while dancing the night away.

"Yes please."

He watched her trot to the small bar on the other side of the flat, focused on how the multiple bracelets bounced in her left wrist as she instructed her brother which beer to give her. As she came back to take her previous seat, he felt a small wave of anxiety for wanting nothing more than to start a conversation with her, as she handed him the beer. Usually it was the other way around, but in most of the cases, people wanted to know his persona.

He knew the silence was becoming awkward, but he was still debating whether to ask about her upbringing or what she did for work, whatever the case was, he didn't want to make a fool out of himself, he almost never seemed to be that lucky.

"You're not used to people being calm around you, are you?" Alma’s frown os curiosity is a mirror to the one on the musician's face.

"Yes and no?" Harry's coy tone makes her smile warmly and shake her head in denial, "so, I'm Hampstead station guy?" Her eyes widen, a shy smile appears on her full lips before she takes another large sip of her drink.

"It's unlikely to find the same person thrice in the tube! I told my friend Laura, it felt like a glitch in the matrix." She answers and he lets out an amused laugh.

"For the record, I wasn't following you, at all..."

"I know, you just had to take the same line I did and it was a happy coincidence," she interrupts him, the new song gathers a few more dancers and Harry wonders if she will ask him to dance again, "although it would've made a great anecdote for my YouTube channel; story time, a famous musician follows me around the city possibly plotting my painful death." She joked as she gingerly flashed her hands before the two of them, as if presenting the latest play from the West End.

It was Harry's eyes turn to be wide and smack his hand into his forehead.

"You have a YouTube channel?" His interest was genuine and Alma made herself more comfortable on the sofa, before proceeding to fill him in about what that was about, just videos about her 'sort of interviewing remarkable people' or so she claimed.

It was something that started as a class project back when she was seventeen, trying to get good grades to win a scholarship and study abroad —none of those things happened. She kept doing it afterwards because it was too much fun, once she interviewed all her friends, she moved onto her family. "Believe me when I tell you, that I have more relatives than I should!" With a smile as big as hers, he sighed before breathing 'lucky' as his heart sped and she continued.

Restaurant owners, chefs, firefighters, barristers, doctors, accountants, waitresses, sexual workers, sex shop employees, bankers, homeless people, hairdressers and apparently every person from her home country had been on the informal interview series. Harry was impressed with the whole concept and her.

"I sort of abandoned it a little when I moved here last year, it was crazy busy the first couple of months and the whole bureaucracy... and I was a little homesick to be honest." For the first time in the night, her voice is thinner, he has to lean in a few inches to hear better, "I miss my parents, my cousins, my aunt, my grandparents. But this is something I've wanted for the longest time you know?" Her eyes bore into his, allowing him to see the vulnerability swimming in them, "I've never felt like an outsider here, never got lost in the tube, took the wrong bus or anything like that. Isn't it weird?" Harry smiled at the sentiment, thoughts of his latest trip to Japan flashing before him.

"No, I think it's marvellous that you feel that way." He cannot be real, is the only thing running through her mind like a restless hamster in its wheel.

Harry and Alma talked about everything they didn’t have in common, despite the brief interruptions to do some shots and drink champagne with the birthday boy. Their families were discussed, their favourite things to do in the summer. Alma even asked him how was work going, as if she didn’t know that he was one of th world’s most successful artists. Harry was thrilled to joke through their drinks and the girl wasn't shy to ask him for a couple more dances. None of them noticed the partying dying around them, it was only after Fernando said his goodbyes to his laughing sister, that they noticed how late/early it actually was.

Before they knew it, golden hues streamed through the window behind them as Freddie walked out of his room and offered them coffee.

"I'm never drinking straight vodka again," Freddie mumbled to himself after finishing his cup of coffee.

"At least it wasn't Vodquila like last time," Alma's words make him groan but agree. "I should go now, need a shower and a healthy breakfast."

After Harry also admitted he needed to be on his way, with all their belongings gathered and after saying goodbye to a very ill Freddie, neither Harry or Alma looked forward to their imminent separation. He had spent hours hearing how busy she is, when not recording content, she was working at Wenzel's and teaching Spanish to her neighbour's daughter on the weekends. Still, he was determined to meet with her again.

As soon as they started moving down the street, Harry noticed the next one was where he had to turn right in order to go home. It wasn't a short walk but the most effective route for sure.

"So, the bus stop is that way," Alma nodded her head to the left, smirking knowingly as she stuffs her hands in her coat pockets.

"Of course," they had come to a rolling stop at the corner. Harry suddenly felt beyond nervous about asking the girl for her phone number. "Thank you, for keeping me company last night." It was amazing he wanted to add, but licked his lips quickly instead.

"You mean keeping you from catching up with all your friends," she corrected him.

Harry shakes his head and smiles, the dimples graciously adorning his cheeks, his racing heart giving him the last push needed to finally ask. "Do you think we could go, like for coffee... sometime?” With that she laughed, immediately memorising the sound of it, her loud cackle is one of the nicest things he has heard in awhile.

"Only if I can buy you something from the selection of pastries." Harry laughed loudly, completely relieved by her answer. She dug around her purse for a moment before taking out a pen and what seemed to be an old receipt, quickly scribbling down her number and handing it to him.

"I'll call you," he beamed, carefully placing the piece of paper in his wallet. He'd be an idiot to lose such a precious fragment of information.

"Looking forward to it," Alma smiled at him for one last time before she started walking to the opposite direction. "See you around Harry." His face was a bit puffy from not having slept properly, but she would be lying to say he didn’t look adorable at the same time.

He waved and watched her walked away, her sweet and tired morning smile seemed to be engraved into the musician's mind as he headed home.

The air was still a bit cold, but the heat was starting to rise and plague London for the rest of the day, the hot summer everyone's been yearning for was finally here, even Harry could feel it in his bones as he continued down his path. He was still highly enamoured by the amazing night he spent sharing a piece of himself with Alma. His feet felt heavy, were even burning a little, but it was nothing as he made his way through his home gate twenty minutes later.

He decided to get some toast and a cuppa for breakfast, his high spirits not faltering even one bit although he could feel the consequences from the all-nighter already with each yawn. After eating he decided to take a shower that got him ready for a well deserved sleep in his comfortable bed.

Waking up around six o'clock startles him at first, Harry is well rested now but a bit grumpy for the weird taste on his tongue, something usual after drinking beer. He scolds himself for not brushing his teeth earlier as he walks in his bathroom. The cool tiles against his bare feet wake him up a bit more. After some needed dental hygiene, Harry gets dressed to go out and pick up his sister for their weekly dinner. Hopefully he can convince her to stay in, that way he can go on and on about the events from the night before.

His feet still hurt, he can even feel a blister underneath his big toe. But it doesn't bother him, it's actually a nice reminder of the incredible things that miraculously happened. Harry knew that since Alma was related to Fernando, someone that was bound to be in his life for the next six months or so, there was a big chance they would've met at some point. But he'd rather think it was fate, some sort of good karma coming round, he stared at her contact on his phone, still charmed by the fact that she gave it to him on the back of a receipt. Ignoring that she only did it that way, because the thought of asking for his mobile to enter it herself, was a very bold move. And Alma wasn’t really that confident, not when his green eyes were boring into hers anyway.

"When are you gonna call her then?" Gemma's voice snaps him out of his daydream for the third time during their quiet dinner in her flat. "What is it? You've got that look."

"What look?" He asks before his sister frowns and pinches her bottom lip with her thumb and index finger. It's his nervous quirk, he sighs, "I don't know, I'm just so nervous." Without a valid reason, he knows the girl is so lovely, maybe that's why.

"You're afraid of fucking it up," she knows, Harry nods. "Well, you could tell her that, perhaps on a text—

"—I want to call her, texting her will make me feel a wanker." Gemma smiles at her little brother, he looked uncharacteristically unsure of himself but nonetheless excited. It was endearing how the first thing he told her after crossing her home's threshold was 'my life is officially a chick flick!' Before proceeding to explain with detail about the whole situation.

"What about a text that reads: hello, this is Harry please save my number so when I find the guts to call you, you don't think it's a telemarketing scam," Gemma might be joking and mocking him all at once, but has a point. A text so she also has his number, makes the situation more even, she can call him too. "Assuming she gave you a real phone number."

"What?" Harry is mortified.

"I'm kidding, you should've seen your face," his sister wanted to drag a bit more her joke, but the preoccupied look on his face stopped her. Gemma couldn't wait to tell their mum, knowing that she would be just as absorbed. "There's nothing wrong with showing interest right away. If you want this to be honest and genuine, set an example." She finished before taking the last bite of pizza.

Harry knew that to be true, but now he was left wondering if it was the right time for him. Had he really left behind all the ghosts and baggage from his past? Or was he still carrying them in the new tattoos of his knees?

Despite his sister's encouraging words about how nothing could go wrong this early with Alma, he couldn't help but wonder if his still grieving heart was ready.

He takes his time walking back home, not caring if it was a really long one, he was aware of the curious eyes once he reached the Southbank but paid no attention to them. He welcomed the chill breeze, hoping for it to cool his boiling mind. Remembering the last time he walked along the river arms around his former flame, her laughter still ringing in his ears, her tender kisses in his knuckles, her delicious scent flying away with the airstream into London's sunshine.

Missing someone is not wrong, Harry reminds himself.

There's no point going down the rabbit hole of what ifs about their relationship. Harry can admit his mistakes, no matter how hard it comes to him, he can also apologise wholeheartedly. He did all those things already, months ago. Which is why he was able to keep her as a friend, not a close one, more like an acquaintance. And she's happy, he can see that, knows it.

Why does he feel like he's still drowning? He's already been pulled from the vast ocean of hers. Harry groans, struggles to open his gate, his good spirits from this morning nowhere to be found.

He doesn't know if it's the memory of her, the fear of loneliness, coincidence and laziness, or a bad habit? But he doesn't text the girl with warm brown eyes, instead he plays the voicemail that sometimes haunts his nightmares, on repeat, for the rest of the night.

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