#and in how she has a tendency to think up the worst case scenarios to try to protect/prepare herself (and others)

[iiguess]

which aesthetic™ colour are you?

FOREST GREEN.

You're in your own world, spinning fictions and building realities and finding the poetry in ordinary things. The people around you can tell there's something special to you, and you're well-loved by a some very good people. But even to your closest friends, you're a bit of a mystery. This always surprises you to hear, because you don't mean to put walls up-- you just get so caught up in things nobody else sees that you forget to let yourself be seen. You're complicated, and sometimes you get tangled in it. Don't worry, though, it's not off-putting; despite your accidental air of mystery, your warmth can be seen like a campfire through distant trees.

[brokenpieces-72]

Monster!141 x wendigo/jackalope reader

Continuation of this one

Sizes

Inspired by @bluegiragi hybrid au and @diejager Only Human Series

Over time you get to see the two newcomers at work and while everyone was busy being possessive and protective over Hunter, you were more curious. However because the team was equally protective over you -seeing you as their young when you’re human- it’s a bit like watching a kid as they play in a non child proof area.

Gaz is watching over both you and Hunter constantly, sticking close to see what you guys are up to while Horangi or König is in the room. Alejandro and Rudy feel like your uncles as they make sure to stop and ask how you are in the hallway, regardless if the KorTac members are nearby. Soap continues his older brother role and has yet to bring up his family getting legal custody over you. The time isn’t right, and he needs to talk to you about it more. His constant presence while sparring is him showing off, like, “this is my pup, proceed with caution”.

You on the other hand, from the teams perspective it’s like watching a kid play on an empty road, they keep an eye on you, but let you do your thing. And your “thing” is watching KorTac. Horangi’s haetae form is different from the two shifters you’re most familiar with, because while it’s mostly tiger there are features you don’t expect. When he finishes a round of sparring with Alejandro you ask him what exactly he is and then ask if you can spar with him next. Alejandro isn’t surprised by your request. He chuckles when Horangi gives you a look.

“You’re sure you want to do that?”

“She’s sure hombre, get back on the mat.” Alejandro says, crossing his arms. Horangi doesn’t like taking orders but gets up and indulges you. He’s actually thrown off by your agility as your strikes move pretty quickly even for him. At first all he does it guard but he soon catches your fist, spins you around and pulls you on to the mat. It knocks the wind out of you, it’s so fast. Alejandro is about to get confrontational when you start laughing.

“That was fun.” You say getting the air back in. Yes you have a tendency to giggle when you go down in training, and smile when you’re exhausted. Horangi can’t help but smile a little before helping you up.

“Can you show me how to do that?” You ask. He may not have signed up for this, but screw it teaching you some tricks couldn’t hurt.

“Colonel, you going to assist?” Horangi taunts to Alejandro.

König watches you from afar for the most part. It isn’t until a tracking session with Rudy and Gaz that he sees you’re not some innocent jackalope who could be snatched up in seconds. The terrain is one you’re used to at this point, with plenty of large trees, small cliffs, and loose ground. There were even some old ruins of previous cabins and shelters nearby which you knew would make for excellent cover.

König is nervous about shifting around you too, worried he might scare you and with two protective hybrids nearby, his mind goes to worst case scenario.

“Do you want me to shift first or do you want to find me as a human?” You ask. König’s thinking comes to a halt hearing you say that, while Gaz and Rudy both look at him waiting for an answer. He didn’t realize you were the one they were tracking. At first he thought he would be the target, larger, easier to find, less stealth. But you?Gaz or Rudy he could expect, but you? You were small sure but not that small. He scratches the back of his head.

“Sh-shifted.” He answers. At least it gives you more of a fighting chance. Then he sees you shift. As a human you’re half his size, looking like a kid next to him but shifted, you’re almost the same size as his Percht form, if only a little smaller. König looks up at you in awe and surprise. You tilt your head at him, while Gaz gets his attention with a pat on his back.

“Come on big guy. Eyes up.” Gaz says teasingly.

“Ve a esconderte, cabo.” Rudy orders and you run off. Despite your size you move quickly, climbs and jumping from tree to tree and ducking behind bushes and over growth, your form fading into the thick forestry. All while moving softly like you’re a part of breeze.

“Geist.” König said. Rudy and Gaz looked at him.

“Say again?” Gaz asked. König realized he had said it out loud.

“Ah…she makes me think of an earth geist.” König said.

The other two hybrids contemplated the idea. Not a bad call sign.

“You’ll have to tell her when you find her.” Rudolfo comments.

“If we find her.” Gaz adds.

They got to work after half an hour, with Gaz sending you a warning of your pursuers. You change the channel on your radio so they couldn’t use it to locate you not that they would. The radios work on one channel so they can find each other better and still be able to communicate over the distance. If they couldn’t find you or there was an emergency the channel would switch accordingly.

König joins alongside Rudy and the cadejos.

“Not changing? Your choice.” Rudy commented.

“I shift when I need to. And I don’t need it for training. I find it exhausting after some time.” König says.

“Gaz how copy.” Rudy radios.

“Still no visual. She’s going hard on this one.” Gaz responds.

“She’s getting better.” Rudy says.

“You usually track children?” König asks. Rudy gives him a look, and König notices how poorly he phrased his question. “Her I mean…o-or uh…apologies.”

Rudy pats him on the shoulder. “Since she became more comfortable around us, si. She became the one we tracked. A good tracker herself but we found she was better at hiding.”

“I see.” König says. There’s a slight jealousy wishing it was as easy for him to hide.

Rudy continues requesting visual updates from Gaz who has little luck.

“I don’t like it but you two may need to split up, cover more ground.” He suggests.

“Copy. The cadejos have different directions.”

“She’s getting smarter.” Gaz comments as he lands to try and look around for you. Rudolfo and König split off searching for you. König thinks for a moment after going for an hour by himself.

“Gaz, any visual?” He asks.

“Negative. At this rate we’ll have to trap her.” Gaz admitted.

“How far can she be ahead of us?” König asks.

“Say about 1 click.”

As if on cue he hears clicking, and his fight or flight reflexes kick in.

“König going dark.” Gaz hears. He can’t get König to respond to him and he starts getting nervous. Training exersices are taken seriously but this may have gone too far. Gaz flies lower to find Rudy, and thankfully he does easily enough. Before he can say anything they both hear loud screeches.

They take towards the noise with the cadejos running up ahead and find you wrestling with a Percht. You’re staying calm, but the Percht is raging at you. It’s only backing off to build up its next strike at you, scratching at your exposed muscles and gnawing at the bark of your limbs. The veil over the monsters face tells you who it is, and all you can do is hold your own. You can smell Gaz and Rudolfo close by and so can König. Your priority is to keep the other two safe. When König tries to turn around and go for them, they both move, taking cover just before König sees them. You move too, and brutally. You’re tired from the hard hits König has dealt, but Kyle and Rudolfo are your friends. Doesn’t matter who it was, you’re ready to defend and protect them the same as they’ve protected and helped you. As the Percht turns away you yank it back by the shoulder. You ram into him, getting your antlers under him and rear up, sending him tumbling behind you. You screech at it. A warning to back off and a challenge to try again. It goes for you and you lock him against you, trying to scratch at its neck, hoping it would get the hint. When König is shifted, he doesn’t have control, his only mindset is kill. As you toss him he tosses you. You claw him he claws you. But if it bites you bite back.

His attacks only continue to get violent even when you try to be defensive. The cadejos try to slow him down, acting as distractions or flanking it with their own bites but it’s proving fruitless. Rudy’s head is starting to ache from it, and Gaz takes to air throwing hardened feathers as projectiles. The thing just screams loud, making everyone’s ears hurt and ring, before you whack him hard, shutting him up. You grip him by the skull tearing off the veil and twisting his neck until the rest of his body follows, getting on top of him. You hold his jaw closed and force him to look at you before screeching yourself, trying to keep him still. If fighting wasn’t going to work, then exhausting him would have to do.

Gaz dives for Rudolfo who is holding his head behind a tree, and lifting him to higher ground. You struggle to keep the Percht still but its movements become fewer and weaker. It doesn’t matter though, you keep him still and don’t loosen until you see dark whisps coming off of him as he passes out beneath you, returning to his human form and you turn to yours. You’re still on top of him when you check his pulse, both of your clothes and gear basically shredded to shit. But you don’t care, panting on top of a passed out König. Gaz and Rudolfo come back down to help you up and help König back to base, with Gaz calling for Hunter to be prepped.

König of course is in a lot of shit because of this. Horangi is being questioned about his hybrid partner and why he would do that. You didn’t encounter König until after he had shifted and you repeated this multiple times that you don’t know what happened. Horangi could only try to side with you as he explained that König wouldn’t shift on a training run. Rudolfo being a the good man he is, mentions König had said the same while they were together.

Despite him giving you multiple injuries you’re still worried about him, and stay by him while he’s resting. Soap is worried about you and the injuries you sustained. Mending broken bones and self healing were a benefit but your healing factors were not instant. Hunter tends to him when she can and makes sure you keep eating.

When König wakes, Horangi tells you right away, and drop whatever you’re doing to go see him. When he sees you though he looks ashamed. He knows what happened and he can’t explain it. He barely remembers shifting. He does remember hurting you though. You insist you’re okay and give him a half a smile. Gaz and Rudolfo aren’t far behind, wanting to check in on König as well. The guy had proven to be a strong asset and your insistence on his character made it hard to argue.

He rests for a couple more days with you checking in on him and seeing how he’s doing. At one point you come over and sit with him and ask why he doesn’t shift. When he mentions losing control and becoming a mindless rampager you think about the night you lost control.

“I become nothing but a monster.” He says, starting to put a new veil on.

“I do too.” He stops and looks at you.

“But you did not.”

“But I have. I’ve lost control and gone on violent binges. I’ve been uncontrolled before…it’s normal.”

There is silence between you two, and he wonders.

“May I see the wendigo? P-please?” He asks. You smile. You enjoy showing people, and shift carefully in the room, not wanting to break something. You lower yourself to all fours, and look at him curiously. König is nervous but hesitantly reaches out to touch your head, with you meeting it halfway. You look back at him while he examines you with his eyes. You make soft clicking noises.

“You really are an earth spirit.” He comments and you make an odd sort of cooing sound mixed with happy clicks. For the first time you see König give a small smile. It’s one you don’t see often, friendly and soft.

König gives his own report saying something had attacked him during their training session, but he was unfortunate enough to not see who or what. Price gives him a warning to be more careful, but you offer to help König train and get more used to the Percht.

Let me know if you want to be tagged in future posts.

@0alk0msan

[ben-talks-art]

Okay... This episode of Digital Circus almost made me cry... almost!

When I saw the first episode of this show I knew I was going to really like it, but I wasn't prepared for how much I was going to love it. This reminds me of when X-Men 97 premiered and even though we were only two episodes in I could already tell this was going to be something special.

I know it's super, super early to say this, but this might become one of my favorite shows. The way they handled this episode really worked for me in a way I haven't felt in a while.

From the very first scene things already start on a really strong note, with our main lead, Pomni, having nightmares about the worst-case scenario from the new situation she's in where she imagines herself being affected by the circus glitch and being abandoned by the rest of the cast.

This does a great job setting up her sense of isolation and how she thinks she's on her own even though they all should be on the same boat together.

This gets highlighted even more as another member of the circus, Ragatha, is seen constantly trying to show her support and getting Pomni to cheer up despite the dreadful situation they're in while Pomni herself just acts indifferent as if she had already given up on everything and everyone.

I found this characterization of hers so relatable because I also used to think for a while that my problems were mine and mine alone and that everyone trying to help me were doing that just out of obligation and not because they really cared.

For some reason it felt "safer" to just assume I couldn't count on anyone because then I wouldn't have to worry about being disappointed in anyone, after all, you can't get disappointed if you don't get your hopes up.

So imagine how hyped I got when I saw that they indirectly made Pomni realize why it's important to rely on people when they switched the roles and placed her on the position where she needed to be there for someone.

I wanted to jump and slam my desk while shouting "Perfect! Perfect! This is just perfect!!"

Everything that needed to be said was being said just in the right way, just at the right time, and with the right amount of emotion, just the right amount of seriousness and levity.

Cause here's the thing, the media often has this obnoxious tendency of portraying antisocial characters as people that need to just "Get over it."

A lot of writers enjoy lumping grumpy characters, and reserved characters, depressed characters, angry characters and all these stuff as people who just need someone to cheer them up and have them forget about their problems, as if they were babies that just need to grow up and learn to be less grumpy so they can join in with the fun alongside everyone else.

You notice that it's always a person in a bad mood + someone who's always cheerful, happy, and with a child-like joyful attitude to be their contrast or someone to call them out on their "grumpyness."

And that always bothers me because it makes it seem like they're downplaying someone's struggle or inner turmoil as if they were minor things that they latch onto to just because nobody has told them to let it go yet.

I like when stories showcase why people struggle so much to let go of this mindset, why they struggle to open up to others and find themselves cheering to their day-to-day lives again.

But I'm also aware that this is not an easy task cause it's basically asking to show someone being depressed for a good portion of your story, and if that goes on for too long or it starts diving into a too heavy of a territory, it can make it a challenge just to watch.

So yeah, I get it, it's hard to find the right balance.

To show why someone needs to overcome their personal demons, while also making it an enjoyable experience to go through.

You don't want a case like Legend Of Korra where Lin Beifong's issues were pretty much treated as a joke, but you also don't want something like the Beast Boy segments from Young Justice where every scene with him just felt the same thing for 5 or 6 episodes, even though they were realistic scenes depicting someone going through what he was dealing with and they all built up to an amazing conclusion with Black Canary... But it was still draining to go through that.

You need to find the right balance and I felt like this episode really succeeded in that. You get why Pomni feels the way she does and you get why Ragatha tries so hard to help her out and why it's important that she keeps trying even when it seems like there is no point.

I really like how Ragtha isn't just "Cheer up, Pomni! Let me show you the secret to enjoying life!", she's actually trying to be sensitive of her situation, giving her the space and time she needs, and being there for her but not forcing herself on her.

She validates Pomni's pain but also knows it's a pain that she needs to learn how to deal with, otherwise, she's just gonna miss out on her own life.

The final scene was the thing that really got me.

When Pomni finally realized that the same way she tried to help out that NPC when they were stuck, she also needs to let others help her out.

It took me so long to realize in life that I don't need to deal with everything on my own, that I had people there for me, that I'm allowed to be vulnerable and make mistakes and that the people around me who love and care about me would still be there for me.

It took way, way too long for me to realize all that, so to see that final shot of Pomni imagining herself falling just like in her dream, but this time she had trust that her friends would be there to catch her, it really hit me good.

I'm not sure how to explain it but for some reason I was really proud of her for learning such an important lesson so quickly that it took me so long to learn myself. Like, I know she's not real, she's a fictional character, but I felt an immense relief while thinking people would watch this, and learn from this, and not make the same mistakes I did.

I have no idea where this show is going, but I feel like I'm in safe hands and can't wait to see what else they're going to do and where they're going to go.

I'm very very hyped for this series!

Also, I know this makes me a monster, but this scene made me laugh. :)

[numbersandstars]

Debilitation Series: Moon in Anuradha

A debilitated planet means this planet has reached the lowest point in its own sky. There, the planet lies on the ground in a strange place, feeling powerless... At least, it thinks so. The sign and the nakshatra where the planet is debilitated actually allow the planet to fight even more to get back on its feet and become successful.

Moon Debilitated in Anuradha

The Moon gets debilitated in 3° Scorpio, that is to say, in Anuradha nakshatra (Anuradha: 3°20 Scorpio to 16°40 Scorpio). The Moon has now fallen into the dark well of Scorpio sign. After going through the boiling waters of Vishakha, she has now reached the bottom of the well, the viscous mud of Anuradha. The Moon does not know what to do in this obscure and sticky place. She feels confused and loses her amrta, or soma, her juice of immortality. Natives' mind becomes clouded with worst-case scenarios, worries, frustration, dissatisfaction. The Moon is in the darkness. Let us not forget about Anuradha's vimshottari planet, Saturn: the slow planet whose divinity, Shani casts his dreadful ill-fated glance. The Moon feels desperate in such conditions. She enjoys life and its material pleasures. Now, she can not find them any more in this desolate place. Nothing comes to these natives easily. This is the sign of Scorpio, ruled by Mars the warrior: one has to fight to get what one wants. And the Moon hates to fight. She is the queen, she is entitled to be served. But now, no one serves her any more. She is stuck in Anuradha's mud. But one day, the Moon will see a tiny ray of light. This tiny ray of light is the spiritual light of Mitra, the solar aditya god ruling Anuradha. Natives will understand there is hope but this hope does not lie in material possessions. This hope lies in divine love. Occultism, spirituality, religion will make the natives reach another perception of life. From the mud where the Moon was, a beautiful lotus will rise. Then, she will recover a part of her immortal nectar. But still, she will have to fight for it. And she will. It will become her new obsession: climbing up the well to reach a place in the sun. That is when the natives will understand how to use this placement cleverly: they will use Scorpio's tenacity, Saturn's perseverance, Anuradha's gentle diplomacy, loyalty and intelligent backup plans. Now, the question is: what will the natives do with the fertile Anuradha's mud? Will they stick to Mitra's light, following the path of service and make a shining lotus rise? Or will they reject divine light? And a malefic lotus full of possessive, stalking, sociopath tendencies will emerge from it? Family and mother figures will greatly influence the outcome.

[aphroditelovesu]

RhaegarWins! Au: Rhaegar killed Robert in the trident, Robert's Rebellion fails; Aerys dies, Rhaegar becomes king and in the end of the war he gets his third head of the dragon. Lyanna gives birth to a daughter not a son (the reader)Visenya.

But not all its sunshine and rainbows for Rhaegar Targaryen, this is an you won but at what cost scenario. First of Lyanna still dies in this scenario and since she's dead and can't tell if she went willing or not people always speculate whether she was abducted or she went willing. The faith has a long standing tradition of opposing polygamy so Rhaegar marriage to Lyanna is not recognized as legitimate, baby Visenya is a bastard, and the northerns and the stormlanders are pissed with the outcome of the rebellion. (Especially the stormlanders).

Rhaegar inherits a broken kingdom and so he goes problem solving. First he is lenient on the rebels. He takes hostages, he takes a little land from the minor Lords but let most of them keep their castles. The starks, Tully and arryns keep all of their titles and since he is walking on thin ice, and doesn't want a conflict with the faith right now,He recognizes that his marriage to Lyanna is illegitimate (the northerns are even more pissed by this), but he has Visenya legitimized and tries to appease the starks he is more lenient to them and Ned gets a royal ward, Princess Visenya.

So house Targaryen it's at its weakest point in history. worst than the dance of dragon's. But Rhaegar being Rhaegar raises Aegon to belive that he is the prince that was promised and tells him that he and his sisters are the conquerors come again and that one day he is going to marry both of them. Now neither Aegon or Rhaenys belive in their father's bullshit because Elia its a big influence in their lives. But one day Rhaegar decides that it's time to Visenya to come home and they both start developing yandare tendencies for her 😈 they may not belive in their father's prophecies but they would definitely use them to trap poor Visenya. Now I ask you what kind of yandare would Rhaenys and Aegon be? What are their differences? What are their similarities? What are your thoughts on this concept?

tw: Targaryen incest (very usual)

I didn't expect to receive this until I read it and I say I need more!! An au where Rhaegar would win Robert's Rebellion was not something I needed until you sent me this!!

Considering that all of history had changed, relations would be strained and resentment would run high, particularly between the remaining Targaryens and the Starks. I like to think that Viserys and Daenerys grew up in King's Landing with their brother, but their bastard daughter, Visenya/Y/n, went to live with the Starks. In that case, I imagine everyone would know that she is not Ned's daughter but Rhaegar's daughter, it would be fun to imagine her dynamic with the Starks.

Ned grew to love his niece, even though she represents everything that happened to his beloved sister, he still loves his niece. He resents Rhaegar, but he doesn't hate Visenya. She is just a child, i'ts not her fault her father's mistakes. I can't help but think how cool and inconvenient it would be if the entire Stark family became yandere for her. Catelyn came to love the girl as her daughter, because she was not ''Ned's bastard'', as Jon would be, she was the most present mother figure in Visenya's life and she would become delusional to the point of imagining she was really her daughter.

When Rhaegar ordered Visenya/Y/n to return home, the hell would break. The Starks don't want her to go, they don't trust the Targaryens to look after her like they do and she has grown used to the North. But they couldn't ignore Rhaegar's orders, they weren't ready for another war, the last one cost them too much, so Visenya reluctantly returned to King's Landing, meeting with her father, uncle and aunt and siblings.

Relationships would be fun to describe, I think. Rhaegar is definitely very attached to Visenya, due to the fact that she is Lyanna's daughter and he regrets not having seen her grow up, although he knew it was the best thing to do at the time. Elia had reservations about Rhaegar's bastard daughter, it wasn't resentment or hatred, but… Curiosity and she soon finds herself liking her stepdaughter.

Viserys doesn't think much of his niece, he doesn't care, at least at first. She was just Lyanna and Rhaegar's bastard child, why should he care? But Viserys finds himself interested in the way everyone else acts around Visenya and ends up finding himself closer to his niece. Obsessed, maybe.

I would imagine that Visenya and Daenerys would have been born around the same time, so the two would be the same or close in age at the very least. They would definitely be close and Dany finds herself very attached to her niece. Although they didn't grow up together, the two eventually became best friends.

Now about Aegon and Rhaenys… Definitely the trio would be the differentiated version of Aegon I, Rhaenys and Visenya. They might not believe in the prophecy, but they couldn't deny that as soon as they met their sister, things changed. Before her, Aegon and Rhaenys clung to each other, along with their mother, but it felt like something was missing. A hole in the inseparable duo and when they met... It was you who was missing.

Aegon is, in my opinion, the obsessive and slightly overprotective yandere type. He felt an instant connection with Visenya and could not deny her desires for her and as is tradition, he would take her and Rhaenys as his wives. Just like Aegon I did. It didn't matter if polygamy wasn't allowed, he would do it and he would have Rhaegar's support and maybe even Elia's. Aegon is very paranoid about his sister and will not let her leave him and Rhaenys. They were already created apart, he won't allow that again.

Rhaenys would be calmer and gentler than her brother, but she's a clingy, possessive yandere, I think. She would be particularly possessive of her sister and brother, wanting them both with her at all times. Rhaenys would definitely send jealous, murderous glares at people she deems a threat to her and her siblings. Rhaenys would grow sharp and strong.

Who knows the prophecy will not be fulfilled? With this trio. Perhaps dragons come back to life through Aegon, Visenya and Rhaenys. Perhaps the prince who was promised is not only a prince, but... A prince, a princess and a bastard? All Targaryens, different but so... close.

The world of Ice and Fire would be quite different from what we know, but interesting, don't you think?

~ Lady L

[fancyfeathers]

Yandere Vincent Phantomhive would, objectively speaking, be worse than any of the Moriarty brothers, wouldn't he? Unlike them, he's actually legally sanctioned for murder, arson, and (controlling) crime, if it benefitted the crown. To the then monarch, his darling and her family falling into his hands might have been an acceptable compromise if it meant winning loyalty and dedicated service in a time of where the underworld was rampant.

Perhaps the next ruler might not think so. A man might be unsympathetic to the sufferings of women, but a female ruler might be horrified and think it not worth the price, especially if the Phantomhive Estate still burned down and Vincent (and perhaps, the older son Ciel) killed early.

But what if... it wasn't one of the twins, but the Darling that was the one that summoned the demon? At the end of her rope, her assaulter pressuring her to have another child, and her left alone as her family broke apart after members either left or were disppeared, for rebelling. But she summons the demon that would be called Sebastian, and feels a twinge of mockery at his resemblance his human vishe has of her tomentor when they make their contact.

Not sure where this would go. Maybe she packs up and flees the country or to the countryside. She raises her remaining son and eventually charges Sebastian to serve and protect him when he decides to take up the Phantomhive Estate. Or she could die soon after summoning him, but commands him to serve her son for his natural lifespan.

Poor Ciel has to see his fond image of his father&early childhood shatter into pieces as he reconnects with his remaining relations on both sides. In this case both Francis Midford (born Phantomhive) and Angelina Durless are disgusted with his late father. His mother's sister particularly loathes the guy in contrast to canon, considers his untimely death as good riddance, but assists Ciel out of love for her sister and worry that her remaining nephew might run into the same fate.

(Honestly, the latter idea is kinder than my first one where she lives longer but firmly remains uninvolved with the 'family business'. That one had Sebastian eventually going yandere for Darling which would be a new traumatizing for her.

He would never force her like her husband did, and rarely gets jealous, but that's only because he's already won in his perspective. Since in this plot bunny Darling made the contract, her soul is his. He only has to uphold his end of the bargain, and a human lifespan is barely anything to him.)

Fancy is the one who normally writes for Moriarty the Patriot but in my opinion Vincent is by far the worst mortal yanderes someone could have. Him as a yandere is like playing chess with no experience against a grandmaster, no matter what you try you are going to loose.

Like honestly I think Vincent would have prepared for any scenario, so the chances of escaping him are slim to none even in death. Vincent could maybe make a deal with the Undertaker in the case of his death to bring him back as a “perfected” Bizarre Doll like R!Ciel in the manga or perhaps he would go as far as to cut a deal with a demon before his darling does.

So even if his darling made a deal with Sebastian it would all be in vain because no matter how he survives he will be back to drag her down with him once again. Though I think it is more likely that O!Ciel is the one who makes the deal with Sebastian since I would kind of view the twins as platonic yanderes for their mother, getting their father’s tendencies. O!Ciel having Sebastian look after his mother since she is supposed to be a grieving widow, and it irritates O!Ciel when she does not act like that given how his father and her husband just died. But soon enough Vincent would return as I said before, if that is alive or somewhat alive, he is not going anywhere any time soon.

[dolly-macabre]

⚙️ 𝕶𝖑𝖔𝖐𝖙𝖔𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝕯𝖆𝖞 𝟕 ⚙️

𝔐𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔬𝔱𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔢

Obviously I had to write some aotd Dickles ♡

Mare Viridates

The night air is quite still, save for the sounds of crickets chirping outside, but in Dolly's head, that couldn't be further from the truth, her mind abuzz with what-ifs and worst-case scenarios she's gone over a million times. She restlessly paces back and forth in the hallway outside her assigned quarters. Well aware she's desperately in need of sleep, she can't even bring herself to shut her eyes, much less slumber. The nightmares that she's been having all this time weren't even that; They're all messages from some deity. She hadn't believed it when Charles first told her, but when she sat and thought about it, it explained so many instances throughout her life. 

Her pacing becomes wandering as she aimlessly walks through the dark halls of wherever they are. She and Dethklok were all brought to this undisclosed location to prepare. The end is drawing nearer. The closer the Doomstar looms in the atmosphere, the louder the voices & images in her head grow. She can't even imagine what Nathan is going through, let alone the rest of the boys. 

They're supposed to be the world's saviors… That's an awful lot to dump on five filthy rich man-children. I just wish I could be there for them… 

Dahlia was told to keep her distance from them before they even left Mordhaus so she wouldn't become a "distraction" to them, but she hardly found that fair.

They're the only family she has left, after all. It was killing her having to avoid her beloved goofballs. 

 Not like I'm involved in this too…

The rigorous physical training she's been going through is proof to that end. 

With a soft sigh, she stops in her tracks, peering around. 

Okay… Where the fuck am I? 

In the darkness, a figure slinks from around the corner; Her blood pressure spikes. That’s it… She’s busted.

The person steps into the dim light of the moon, and she's immensely relieved to realize it's only Pickles.

Oh, no… Hopefully, he didn’t see me…

Dolly swiftly turns to sneak away, but she's held back by a pair of strong hands on her shoulders. 

"What, you hidin' from me or sumthin' now?"

He must not have been informed that she wasn't supposed to be near them. 

"Shh…" She turns back around, urgently shoving a finger against his lips. "I could get in a lot of trouble just being around you…"

"Uh, why?"

"I'm gonna be honest with you, man," she says in a hushed voice. "I have no clue. Dick and Charles don't want you guys distracted… I guess… Like, I get it but--"

Pickles quickly grabs her hand and pulls her into the chamber room nearby. 

"Wait! Pickles!"

The door shuts behind them with a faint thud. It turns out they were right outside his room. She can tell that’s where they are by the smell: Gross but comforting. 

"You don't get it, I--" She tries again to explain, but she's interrupted by his arms snaking around her torso. His warm, chapped lips slam into hers. 

"Shut up… I missed you…" He rests his head against her shoulder, obviously exhausted. "I need ya right now, Dolls…"

"It's only been a couple of days." She pats his head. 

How can she object to his sweet request, though? She wraps her arms around his neck, interlocking her fingers, and holds him close, closer than she ever had before.

Everything was so scary right now, and she can feel it in him, too. He's shaking in her arms. The bags under his eyes are heavy and deep, the same as hers. 

"You havin' a hard time sleepin', too, hun?" she asks as she fiddles with his unwashed dreads. 

"Yeh, that's puttin' it mildly, but I think I may have found a solution fer tonight, at least…" He gives a weak smirk. 

"What're you talking about?”

 Her tendency to get wound up is endearing to him. She's always been the more likely of them to show conviction. He releases her and plops down on his bed. "Look," he says, "we don't know for sure if we're gonna make it out of this bullshit alive… We might as well do sumthin' fun while we wait for shit ta hit the fan."

"The whole point of being here is that we're not supposed to be having fun," she replies, her voice low. She stands firm near the door, arms crossed across her chest. 

"Just c'mere already!" He gestures impatiently with a tilt of his head. "You gatta see this."

"Fine." She pinches the bridge of her nose, shaking her head before sitting down next to him on the unmade bed. "So… What's so important that you have to kidnap me like this?"

"I sniffed it out!" He reveals a ziploc bag of some sort of herbs. 

"What are ya, some kind of drug dog now? Are you so sober that your sense of smell is kicking into overdrive?"

"Do yerself a favor and smell it!" He shoves the baggie in her face and she catches a whiff through the plastic. Whatever it is, it has a very pungent herbal smell, yet somehow it was also sweet with a hint of a pineapple smell. 

"Okay… So what is it?" Dolly prods. 

"It was in a wooden stash box labeled Mary Verdates? Whoever she is, I bet she's got some good taste in dope!" He chuckled that menacing little chuckle. 

Dolly wondered what it could be. The scent was almost reminiscent of an herbal tea that Jade used to sip when she was going through it. 

"I'm gunna smoke it."

"You don't even know what it is, dumbass!" 

"I don't give a shit anymore! I gatta calm down. I mean, ya gotta admit, I'm sure I've smoked worse!" He shot back, already rolling it into a joint, "Desperate times, y'know?"

He makes a good point. They weren't allowed to bring any booze or drugs with them, and Dolly herself was getting a bit twitchy about it. 

She finds the nearest towel and shoves it under the door, hoping to keep any smell contained. 

"You didn't take all of it, did you? This kinda stuff seems like it might be kinda important…"

"What do ya take me for? An amateur? Of course I didn't take it all!" Pickles holds the fresh joint under his nose for a sniff, then sticks it between his lips, lighting it with urgency. Upon exhaling, he lets out a rough cough. Dolly scopes out the room for some water quickly, noticing a mini fridge that was subbing for a nightstand. She cracks it open to find some bottled water, setting one in his lap before swigging back on her own. 

"Woooooah-ho-ho… That sure is sumthin'!" He tips his head back to take a drink. His eyes, already dilating, met hers, offering her the joint. 

"Well… I am pretty tense." She takes it from him, pulling a hit from the mystery drug.

"Yeah, you are! Get over here." He pats the bed in front of him between his legs. After having her coughing fit, she obeys, crawling over and sitting back against him. 

"Don't it feel like weed and shrooms fucked and had a baby?"

"Uhhh, yeah, kinda…" 

Her vision is already distorting the room around her, vivid colors dancing across her sights. She begins to shake more, fearful of what might come next, in the trip and what the future holds for them. Pickles reaches out for her to bring her back down to earth. As his hands find her back, she jumps at the sudden contact. As she softens under his touch, he rubs soothing circles across her shoulders and up into her sore neck muscles. That's all it takes; She's putty in his grip.

"Yer okay, baby… I'm here. No bad trips with me around." He places a gentle kiss on the back of her neck, pulling her close against him. She decides to focus on her breathing. The last thing she needs is a panic attack. 

The night became less anxious as the hours went on. Whatever they'd just smoked made sure of that, offering them trippy imagery and at least some relief from their worries. 

"Hey, Pickles?" she speaks up, her voice indicating at least a touch of bliss.

"Yeah, Dollface?" he answers, hardly even able to stay awake. She has her head rested against her chest and the closeness is making him sleepy.

"If we don't live through this shit… Will you do drugs and party rock with me in the next life?"

“You know it, angel,” he chuckles, kissing her forehead.

[sadruru]

For Melissa! Eros 5, Ludus 5, Pragma 2, Philautia 1 please ❤️

Thank you, thank you very much 💘 !!!Disclaimer!!! I may not be able to answer some questions correctly because of the language barrier. I'm sorry 😥

Eros 5

How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?

Melissa has never doubted her beauty, in terms of ego she can safely rival Daeran! She is very proud, and this is reinforced every time she uses her looks, and she usually succeeds. After one “specific” incident in the past, she's only gotten more promiscuous and wild. I'm not going to say what it was... But it was a very wrong way to experience “love”. This is definitely not an incident Melissa would want to talk about. Does Melissa consider herself worthy of sex? Yes. She's beautiful and experienced. It's her usual method of relaxing and forgetting herself, like alcohol. Does Melissa consider herself worthy of love? No, never. She stopped expecting to be loved for who she is a long time ago, so she behaves as she pleases, even if no one likes it. What does it matter what others think of you, when everyone has already made up their own mind at first sight?

Ludus 5

What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things?

No cringe during seduction and making yourself look like the king of the world ;D Then you'll just make her laugh. Don't be too assertive if she's not really interested. And if you try to force her... Worst case scenario, you're already dead. In fact, Melissa is open to any kind of flirting. She likes directness and confidence. She might be attracted to an unusual partner. Serious. For example, for her a person is very boring, but if a person has, for example, a lot of scars, it already becomes more interesting. She also likes guys who look tough and strong. ...But then Woljif bursts through the door, breaks her system and steals her heart.ХD

Pragma 2

What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this?

Good question. The biggest challenge for her is trust and faith in a positive outcome. Fear of tomorrow and the future. It's easier to destroy everything herself than to wait for others to do it. Because of this mindset, she almost ruined her life forever. In that case, she would have had a very sad but expected end after the game when she closed the World Wound. Immediately then, no one would ever see the commander again after the battle, and victory for all would be overshadowed by Melissa's sudden disappearance. Maybe someday I'll reveal that ending, but there's a lot of glass in there... You can try to guess what happened to her and where she disappeared to. It's pretty easy. Melissa is often compared to stone or iron for her character and actions, but stone has a tendency to break down over time and iron has a tendency to rust. Let's be honest: Melissa is a funny pessimist with years of severe depression and a self-destructive lifestyle. She doesn't want to appear vulnerable or she'll become unnecessary dead weight. But I try not to give bad endings! Faithful friends will be there to show that they can be trusted and will always help. Time and events will present challenges that will force her to rethink her own life, to stop being afraid and running away, to face her problems head-on instead of hiding behind another drink. And her favorite thief will prove that she is also worthy of love and affection, that he needs her always and he is ready to listen to all her thoughts and problems.

Philautia 1

Does your OC have a healthy sense of their own worth and value? Or do they see themselves as failing to live up to their original potential? Perhaps they are convinced of their own sinful or inadequate nature?

It's the other side of the coin. She thinks she's beautiful, but she has absolutely no appreciation for herself. It's like she's not a diamond, but a copper coin for barter. That's normal for her. Even death hasn't taught her to care about herself, her body or her health. If you cut off Melissa's arm, she wouldn't be too upset. If need be, she will be ready to die for someone very close to her. Before her death she tried to save her friends in this way, it's better not to know what was done to her… But she didn't care. Periodically Melissa and her gang will be caught by inept robbers and murderers. Every time she found a feather from them, as if someone was reminding her of herself on purpose. Never show her the azure feather. It'll blow her mind. I'll try to explain why later. But she's being hunted... It's not uncommon for her to jokingly or seriously say how bad she is, even though the same Ember claims it's not true. In time, that will be corrected. For Woljif's sake, she will become more careful and start to appreciate and take care of herself, because she has someone and something to live for (he will often tell her off). But she will still have a hard time staying unharmed in battle.

A little bonus:

[the-winters-prince]

That theory anon here again, thank you so much for your kind and supportive words everyone! So I don't personally subscribe to that theory anymore since as E Wein said herself it's up to the reader to decide, I can't believe Medraut is quite that messed up, and I have a tendency to overanalyze worst case scenarios. What got me ruminating was

How Medraut so easily slipped into being cruel from almost the get go after not seeing Lleu for years. As if it isn't the first time.

2. Medraut having mixed, confusing emotions for Lleu since the beginning and mentioning how beautiful he finds him.

3. That Medraut might have been SA'd from an early age, and so might have continued the cycle of abuse earlier too.

4. Lleu's great fear of being touched and falling asleep.

I'd love for these theories to be laid to rest though, I like my ships dark but not quite that dark. What do you people think?

Again, I apologize if I said anything offensive considering the dark topic, and I wish you all the best!

First of all thank you for your reply! I'm excited to chat with new readers. I still have your other ask, should I publish it too?

I actually went through a similar scenario in my head where Artos summoned Medraut to his court earlier and came to the conclusion that if Medraut had been bought home sooner he may have started to sexually abuse Lleu sooner, because unlike Medraut in twp this Medraut never spend a time outside the toxic influence of his parents where he could process his own csa trauma under the care of someone compassionate.

I personally don't subscribe to this theory because just as you said it would be too dark for Medraut to have sa'd Lleu when he was a preteen and it would be a crime too abominable to forgive. I also think that young Medraut may have been maladjusted because of various traumatic experiences, and exhibit signs of both physical and psychological damage that would not escape the keen sight of Ginerva and Artos. He has not perfected how to mask, blend in and appear normal to outsiders yet. Artos would see no use in keeping this Medraut alongside Lleu if he cannot assign a value to him. If Artos were to see Medraut displaying behavoural problems and decide he posed a threat to Lleu he would send him away immediately. I believe if you were to remove young Medraut from his mother and put him into a room with young Lleu right away without a familarization phrase where he could acclimate slowly to his family and become familiar with the way relatives are supposed to treat each other, he might lash out violently at him. He would punish Lleu how his mother punished him and his mother punished him for anything.

Lleu is so fragile and often ill, even a light shove or a sleeping with an open window could harm him. Lleu meeting Medraut who is used to a different level of violence and would misjudge how much roughousing his brother could take would have disastrous consequences. In an AU where Medraut grows up alongside Lleu, Ginerva would have to know about some of the abuse Medraut had endured and stand up for him if he hurt Lleu accidentally. She would feel too guilty to send Medraut away to live with that monster and would argue with Artos until he gives Medraut another chance. Medraut would learn how to hurt Lleu in ways that can't be detected by adults, but I don't know if he could get access to Lleu's room at night as guards are stationed everywhere and unlike the twins, the brothers wouldn't have been close enough that it would be acceptable for them to sleep in the same bed. Perhaps Medraut is considered so unimportant that he is basically invisible? Or people overestimate the power Artos gives him and don't say anything when he goes to restricted rooms of the castle with a serious face as if he had been given permission by the king?

I find that concept interesting in theory. I took Lleu's fear of being touched while unconscious as him subconsciously picking up on Medraut's true desire and fearing him, I've never entertained the idea before that this fear actually had a foundation and was the result of an earlier trauma which he cannot recall as he was too young and not even conscious when it happened to him. Medraut wouldn't mention it in his own narration because he doesn't consider anything sexual that isn't sex as abuse just like how he isn't aware that Morgause had groomed him when he was a child. ("Godmother, I don't understand why I am made to desire you so.")

I agree with you. The entire passage when Medraut meets a newborn Lleu for the first time striking. You don't describe a baby as attractive. Call me insane, I fully believe that Medraut fell in love with Lleu when he was a baby. Or something close to love. He imprinted on him. He became obsessed with him. I hc that had Medraut grown up alongside Lleu (after Morgause), their relationship would have developed at the same speed as Ignacio and Antonio's from the Carnivorous Lamb.

Now as you mention it, Medraut admitting he has always envied Lleu's beauty as he is obviously lusting for his sick body, makes his connection from past to present more unsettling. Like nothing has changed. It's as if these feelings, this lust just as this envy towards Lleu were always present no matter how old Lleu was.

When I think of an AU where Medraut and Lleu grow up together I think of the quote from the incest diary:

[magnuficent76]

🖊

Holy shit you on the inbox....... This is so awesome hello.

UHM um this is my oc her name is Melaine. She is a Normal Girl who is a Bug also

A doctor by profession, a biologist by heart, and a mutant through experimentation. Melaine T. Curatella was a renowed name in medicine, a part of one of the most famous families in the interplanetary system, until some horrid event lead her far outside the bounds of sanity... and now, who knows what she's after, using mutagenics and science horrifically in some far off planet? There's only speculation to be done.

Originally from Promethea, came to Pandora with a mission to help everyone who needed medical assistance, eventually ended up setting up her own hospital for the same purpose (free healthcare W). She is surprisingly rarely ever attacked simply because she is nice to people and as it turns out, even the worst of mercenaries would rather not die because of an unaddressed broken bone. Do not mistake this kindness for tolerance however, because she's more than capable enough to defend herself should a threat arise (Trust me scalpel stabs are Way Worse than regular stabs). Extremely competent in what she does to a scary degree, often being called "the Angel of the Wastes" for it. She could probably rearrange someone's entire skeleton if she was up to it. Deep down she has a lot of pent upanger because of how everything in this planet just is so exploited, so ignored, how everyone is clearly struggling but can't do anything about it because of the ideals that are perpetuated. She hates hates hates hates it so bad and she WANTS to do something too but, where is she even supposed to start right ? Well, "not letting everyone die constantly because of turf wars and meaningless violence" is probably a start.

Gets really passionate about everything really fast. Once she decides she likes or supports something, it would take hell freezing over to make her change her mind. This stubborness and resilience is what allows her to keep moving even throughout the most awful of situations, even in the face of the worst of adversity, she will come out on top covered in blood and permanently changed but she will stand by her extremely strict set of morals or so fucking help me. Melaine has a bad tendency to overlook special case scenarios because of this as well because she really dislikes the idea of being wrong about anything, which is how she feels after you tell her that things aren't just forever set in stone. Probabilities and other such interference don't matter to her, because only one version of every situation exists in her mind. This severely limits her ability to navigate new situations because she doesn't have the proper equipment to understand them, and it frustrates her beyond belief, so she does anything and everything to classify it as something she's already familiar with. Nothing else matters but my understanding of it, my classification, my experience, MY method. This woman would rather spend 5 years on the same argument than admit she maybe miscalculated. Totally not taking after her mom <3

After everything goes down in the story, she has to escape everything and ends up crashing back on her home planet, which is ironic for her giving she said she'd never go back under any circumstances, but I think the circumstance of "My husband is possibly dead and a company wants to take me + our 2 young kids out too just for being associated with him" is kind of a special case. This does not make her feel hopeless as much as it just makes her ANGRY. Injustice runs loose everywhere, with the worst people you've ever seen having most of the power and thus perpetuating it, while you're just getting kicked down over and over after climbing the ladder. It's humiliating, it's awful, and it makes her so fucking mad. This kickstarts her descent into madness and obsession after the concept of justice, something she herself has to do, because clearly nobody else knows how to. No one else knows justice how she does, and therefore, she must be the one to instill it.

Has been fascinated by insects and other arthropods ever since she begun to talk. Most namely, the Praying Mantis. If left to her own devices she would infodump about bugs for days at a time. Their exoskeletons and surprisingly tough claws and their big stupid eyes just captivate her, to a point where almost everything she owns has a mantis pin. This fixation takes a weirder turn later in the story as she attempts to BECOME a mutant version of one, often using several chemicals and other substances on herself to achieve what she considers "the perfect predator form". She's very normal about it and she would never perform any particularly unethical experiments to achieve such a goal. She is not doing it for any nefarious reasons (like say, especialized murder) and would never awaken cannibalistic urges within herself after all that. Don't worry about it !👍

Lookit her <3

Despite it all, she loves a lot. She is enamored by the beauty of life and understanding it is only her goal because of how much she appreciates every little detail of it as well. She loves helping people and she loves her husband and she just wants to keep loving things but unfortunately the world wants to make her Insane Constantly.

[crinkled-emotions]

So glad you're back!! Could I request "you look pale", "infection" and "waiting room" from the whumpril list please? How would you feel about writing Cyclone looking out for and trying to take care of Bradley? I think he probably has a bit of a soft spot for him at this stage and knows a little about his past trauma and tendencies to push it when he gets a cold or whatever sickness. (Maybe a few cameos from the other Daggers and Mav at the end, ready to chew Cyclone out, only to find he's the only person who tried to stop Rooster from destroying his system once again lol)

Hey anon!! Thanks for the warm words 🥰.

I've never really considered writing Cyclone, but I'm down for this! Here's to getting his character slightly aligned with how he is in the movie 😂 expect a lot of cranky older man with Rooster's sass but also his respect for authority lmaooooo.

Also, from the movie I kind of remember photos of what looked like his kids on his desk, so I'm saying Cyclone has kids and that's that. Maybe even... grandkids??

Warnings: Rooster's PTSD diagnosis which isn't just related to his active duty, it's also his childhood and the amount of time he spent in hospitals.

-

The rip in his flight suit was an indication of what could have happened had he not been as experienced as he was. Rooster was a decorated Naval Aviator, when they instructed younger pilots they showed his flights and asked him to come in and talk when the older instructors couldn't get through to their mid-20's audience.

Do it like Rooster does it, the instructors said when questioned as to why the younger aviators were instructed to hold on.

That didn't mean he was exempt from making mistakes. Rooster had physical and emotional scars, but when younger pilots asked him for an explanation he was completely honest with them.

All of this put Rooster, despite destroying at least one jet on the Dagger mission, in Cyclone and Warlock's good books. It put the rest of the Daggers in good standing too, deployed as a separate squadron. Rooster had chosen to stay behind for the first one, instead coming on as an instructor at TOPGUN.

-

"Admiral Simpson, sir!"

Cyclone looked up from his paperwork, frowning at the LTJG hesitating by his office door. His secretary looked like she was ready to hand in her resignation but Cyclone waved her off, turning to the young man in front of him.

"Does Bradshaw know you're here?" He asked, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his seat. The young man nodded frantically.

"There's been an accident, sir. Hondo sent me to find you, said Captain Mitchell is out for the week."

"What do you mean accident?"

Cyclone's stomach tightened, already thinking worst case scenario. Then he frowned.

"What does Captain Mitchell have to do with it?"

"It was Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw, sir," the LTJG in front of him said. Cyclone reached for his jacket.

"Let's go. Have you called for the infirmary?"

"Yes sir."

Lieutenant Junior Grade Dawson led the way through base, navigating out to the tarmac. Cyclone could see the class crowded around one of the jets, Bradley Bradshaw "Rooster" painted across the side. He picked up into a jog, gently pushing through the crowd.

"Ah, hell, Rooster? Can you hear me?"

Rooster didn't look bad, but he didn't look good either. Something was definitely up. Cyclone knelt, doing a quick visual check over. Rooster was out cold, but he was breathing. The tear in his flight suit told Cyclone he'd caught his side on something, and with Hondo's help they got the suit down to his waist.

"Go and get me some towels," Cyclone said to the team still crowded around. When they all took off in various directions, he turned back to Rooster and ran his hand down his side, trying to find any cuts or broken ribs. Sure enough, his hand came back with blood and Hondo whistled.

"Medics are on their way. I didn't see the whole thing, but I did see him hit his side when he fell from the wing of his jet."

"Why did he fall? That's not like him."

Where Maverick was borderline chaotic and worked on pure instinct, Rooster was careful and every move he made was highly calculated even if it did look a little like something his godfather would do.

"Not sure. He was fine beforehand."

The medics arrived on the tarmac, wheeling over to where Hondo waved at them. They got out of the ambulance, coming around to assess the situation.

"Bradley Bradshaw, he passed out after his hop and fell from the wing of his jet. There's a pretty major cut on his side, it's bleeding but not enough to soak his flight suit," Hondo filled them in. The medics glanced at Cyclone and their eyebrows raised.

"Sir," they said instinctively. He waved them off.

"You've got his PTSD diagnosis in your file; if he knocks you out because you overwhelmed him, I didn't see anything."

Initially, Cyclone's first instinct with Rooster's diagnosis had been a medical discharge and full pension with a thanks for your service letter in the mail, but Maverick and Warlock had talked him out of it. Maverick had begged and pleaded for him not to, insisted it was mostly regarding hospitals. The psych assessment reports had confirmed that, so Rooster was allowed to stay.

For now, at least.

"Bradshaw, can you hear me? Can you feel this?"

One of the medics firmly rubbed along his chest, the other having a better look at the cut on his side.

"You look pale, sir," Hondo said quietly to Cyclone. Cyclone turned to him.

"Do you want to be the one to tell Captain Mitchell his godson broke on my watch?"

"Uh. No, sir."

Rooster startled awake, thrashing around, and Cyclone narrowly dodged the punch thrown at the medics. He moved, coming to Rooster's side instead of kneeling at his feet.

"Rooster! Rooster, you need to calm down. Bradshaw, it's alright. Settle down, it's Cyclone and Hondo. Do you know where you are?"

Rooster's chest moved rapidly as he took in his surroundings, frowning into the bright sun. Finally, he looked to Cyclone.

"Oh, I'm screwed," he huffed, letting his head lean back against the tarmac. Cyclone frowned.

"What makes you say that?"

"You're here, sir."

Despite himself, Cyclone snorted. Bradley Bradshaw really was Maverick's, even if it wasn't by blood.

"Can you tell us what hurts, Bradshaw?" One of the medics asked. Rooster swallowed, frowning as he shook his head.

"Please tell me you haven't called Mav," he groaned. Hondo cleared his throat.

"Well, I mean, I may have... texted him..."

"Fuck."

"He's on his way, but he's out in the desert so you've got a couple hours."

"Lieutenant Trace is also aware and she'll be back early from detachment."

Rooster's head shot up.

"You called Phoenix back from deployment because I passed out? Oh hell, she's gonna kill me. This has been a great exercise in her patience, you would have been better calling Seresin. At least then I know my death will be swift and mostly painless."

"Maverick said Seresin would cry if he knew you were hurt, Trace was on your paperwork," Hondo replied. Rooster winced, glaring at the medic who was looking at his side.

"Can you cut that shit out? It fuckin' hurts."

"You're brave, Bradshaw. Look, we're going to have to stitch it, it's a pretty deep slice. Let's get you into the ambulance."

The other medic wandered over with the gurney and Cyclone reached for Rooster's shoulder.

"Let's get you up, kid."

"Only Mav can call me that- sir."

Rooster promptly shut his mouth, letting the medic and Cyclone get him up and on to the gurney.

-

"Admiral Simpson? How is he?"

Cyclone glanced up from where he'd been sitting in the waiting room, arms crossed over his chest and if anyone asked he'd deny the powernap he'd been having. Maverick was striding toward him, looking exactly as he'd expected; panicked and very fatherly. Dad-mode was on high and Cyclone scrubbed at his face.

"He was alright for a while, but then they closed the exam room door and he had a panic attack because he couldn't see the hallway. They had to sedate him, so he's sleeping now, but he should be a little better now that you're here."

Maverick frowned, taking a seat beside him.

"How did it happen?" He asked. Cyclone cleared his throat.

"I wasn't present, but to my knowledge Rooster has been sick for a couple of days, and when he went to get out of his jet after a hop he lost consciousness and hit his side on the wing as he fell. He's lucky he didn't snap his neck."

"Sick? What kind of sick?"

"No one knows, the other Daggers are on deployment. Lieutenant Trace is coming home, when she was called she insisted. I got her on the first transport back to dry land."

"She's gonna kill him," Maverick chuckled. Cyclone snorted.

"She was worried. Is there something I need to know about?"

"Oh, no way, sir. Hangman says they've been inseparable since day one but it's always been platonic."

"Hm."

Cyclone wasn't completely convinced, but they were the same rank and honestly? He couldn't deal with the Dagger Drama (or DD as Warlock liked to call it) on a good day, let alone when one of them was laid up in hospital.

A doctor walked down the hallway and paused in front of them, chart in hand.

"Family of Bradley Bradshaw?"

"That's me," Maverick replied. The doctor smiled.

"Alright, you can go and see him now."

Maverick ducked into the room, calling to Rooster even though he was still sedated. The doctor looked to Cyclone, crossing her arms.

"You're not going in too?"

"Bradshaw needs his godfather right now, not an Admiral," he replied. The doctor hummed, nodding slowly.

"Okay then."

-

Rooster stirred, glancing over at the person beside him, and immediately groaned. Maverick smiled at him, squeezing his arm.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired... my side hurts."

"You were cut pretty bad, the mechanics are still working on your jet to find the sharp piece that might have hurt you. You don't feel nauseous or anything? You look pale."

"Is Phoenix here yet?"

Maverick glanced at the door and the way she was leaning in the doorframe, eyes harsh despite the concern. She made her way over, gently flicking Rooster's forehead.

"You got stuck with Cyclone to get you to the infirmary? What the fuck, how did you survive?"

"Wait- Cyclone? I only remember Hondo," Rooster yawned, scratching at his nose. Maverick glanced at Phoenix, the pair having a silent conversation before Phoenix squeezed Rooster's hand.

"Cyclone rode with you in the ambulance, gave your diagnosis to the staff when they couldn't figure out why you were so wound up."

"Oh, no shit- ow, fuck."

Rooster went to sit up but the pain in his side stopped him, clearing his throat.

"Cyclone helped me? He wasn't mad?"

"No, kid, he was worried about you. When you first came in they were wondering if you had some kind of infection because your blood work showed something, but whatever it was has cleared now. You've just got some new scars to show off."

"Oh. Uh, is he still here?"

"Hondo said he was, but I didn't check. Probably signing paperwork or gossiping with Warlock," Phoenix snorted. Maverick hummed, unable to tear his eyes from his godson.

"Roos, you sure you're okay?" He finally insisted. Rooster glanced over, a lazy smile crossing his face.

"Mav, I'm high as a fuckin' kite right now, I'm good."

-

Outside the hospital room, Cyclone backed away from the open door and reached into his pocket, flicking through his contacts for a moment before he found who he was looking for.

"Hey, buddy. What time is it where you are? 5am? Oh, I'm sorry... no, it's not important. Just checking in. What's college like?"

He leaned against the wall, listening to the voice on the other end of the phone, and couldn't help the grin on his face.

-

[ankhisms]

oh hold on im going to ramble about rehersal last night bc i was on post limit and also too tired to talk about anything when i got home lmao

anyway this is a good thing not a bad thing that happened so dont worry im doing alright im just still thinking about it bc i mean. i guess its kind of sad that it feels jarring to me to be treated with kindness especially by someone in an authority position like a director but i am very thankful. our director sends us emails with notes on the rehersal and things for us to remember and in the email yesterday i didnt see it till i got to rehersal bc she sent it around the time i started to drive since my drive to town and back is very long. in the email she was like rey youre doing a great job thank you for knowing your lines theres one other thing id like to talk to you about sometime. and of course this makes my brain have alarms go off because yknow. abuse and trauma and just general brain bullshit where immediately if im told "theres one other thing we have to talk about later" by an authoritity figure or anyone really my brain tries to jump to the worst case scenario yknow like oh god shes gonna tell me to quit the play and that i suck and that i should just give up on acting and that im not good enough. but i tried to shake it off and just focused on acting in the rehersal. and at the very end of rehersal i went up to her and was like hey what was the one other note you had for me that you wanted to give me? and she ended up genuinely like really earnestly praising me and telling me that im amazing and doing a really great job and that she really appreciates how on top of things i am with knowing my lines and blocking and entrances and that she hardly has to give me any directions as a director because i just have a good instinct for what to be doing onstage and what things to find in the text to work with and she told me that i remind her a lot of a professional working actor that shes friends with in chicago 😭😭 and the note she wanted to give me was that i have a tendency to sometimes subconciously sneak looks at the audience and then dart my eyes back to the scene which is something her professional actor friend does too and she was like both you and him are so good but you worry about if people are going to like you and what youre doing, they like you! youre doing great! dont worry! and im surprised that i didnt just start cryimg. i had also made a kind of offhand comment about not being confident in myself and she told me that she was really surprised by that because im very good and i should be confident in myself and then gave me a hug and it was just like

like oh??? oh... maybe i am too hard on myself and maybe im not such a huge fuck up at everything.. anyway shes a very nice person and a great director im really glad shes our director for this production and that was like a really genuinely helpful moment for me

[jtl07]

jt (finally) watches warrior nun - s1 e9 (pt 2)

So I finished s1e9 earlier this week but I’ve been putting this off because … I didn’t like it very much. The only thing that I found mildly thought-provoking was the Avatrice scene where fight or flight was mentioned, which I’ll spend the bulk of this post ruminating about.

Just to get it out of my system, I’ll note my main criticisms under the cut. Jump to the paragraph that begins “Fourth and lastly” for when I start talking about Avatrice.

The main problems I had with this episode were four in total (trying my best to keep them concise lol):

First, the length of the scenes, or rather, how there’s an aggravating tendency to cut to a different scene before any sort of value change has been established (I’m thinking specifically about Robert McKee’s “Story” - this post summarizes the concept) - resulting in confusion instead of a tension that builds throughout the episode (not to mention a sort of “color-by-numbers” feel as we hit different plot points, rather than a cohesive, inevitable narrative).

Second, the blocking/staging and overall logic in the Ava-Bea-Lilith-Mary confrontation scene - Bea pulling a throwing star instead of a knife was strange, Mary shouldn’t have been able to put Lilith in any sort of effective rear naked choke with that height difference, plus if Ava had actually shot Lilith, she’d have hurt Mary as well - while Toya Turner killed that speech to Lilith, I couldn’t help but think that gosh, it could’ve been supported better. Anyway, it would’ve been nice if it had been filmed with less close-ups and more ensemble to really capture the chemistry and layers. (I’m thinking about this video by Every Frame a Painting re: ensemble staging)

Third, speaking of support: There was no support for Mother Superion’s reveal as a a former halo bearer here, and I was extremely frustrated by that. I’m not sure if they were trying to give her an air of mystery, a sort of “will she help Ava or will she not?” tension. But there was nothing to support even that. Like, yeah, her fight with Crimson was cool, but even there was no build up; no tension, just confusion. Then in the grottos scene when Superion tells Ava that she’s worthy, I found myself not believing her - because there were no scenes I could point to that showed me that she’d changed her mind about Ava. From what we'd seen so far, it seemed to me less that she started believing in Ava and more that she stopped believing in Duretti. Lesser evil sort of thing, which didn't really match the content of that scene. Again, while Sylvia De Fanti absolutely killed it, I felt like it could have been more than the disconnected, ���oh we have to hit this plot point” moment that we got.

Fourth and lastly, there’s Beatrice’s criticism of Ava, aka the fight or flight conversation. I have a couple issues with this, centering around context and content. First, the context: This scene is following both the fight with Crimson’s gang - where we see Ava struggling with holding herself back to not get involved (which I sympathized with hardcore - Alba sells those moments so, so well) - and Mother Superion expressing her trust in Ava.

While Beatrice may not have been present for the latter, she must have been somewhat aware of Ava during the former - after all, Ava didn’t get involved, she did her job! - but instead of praising Ava for her growth, she disregards it (at best), ignores it (at worst). While the criticism itself is in character for Beatrice - after all, Bea did call Ava thoughtless and self-centered - it felt out of character for her to not have noticed the effort Ava had made during the fight.

Also, zooming out a bit further, Beatrice did do the right thing in bringing more explosives. She’s always been one to think of contingency plans, worst-case scenarios. That kind of planning isn’t personal, it’s mitigating risk - for both Ava and the rest of the team. Here, Beatrice is fulfilling her side of the trust equation: if something goes wrong - regardless of if it’s caused Ava or not - she will have some kind of plan to rectify the situation. That’s her job, that’s the value she brings to the team, to every mission. The fact that the conversation centers around Ava so personally just felt very off to me.

Second, the content of Beatrice’s criticism really rubbed me the wrong way. I hate that physiological reactions are presented not only as choices, but also as a binary - from what I’ve learned, there’s upwards of four responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn). Additionally, I hate that flight is considered lesser, weaker - more selfish, more cowardly.

It really depends on the situation. Whenever I’ve taught self-defense, we’ve always expressed the importance of listening to your instincts and leaving a situation when you think you need to. Additionally, to take a different perspective, there are plenty of military examples where standing and fighting was the wrong thing to do. I feel like we glorify fighting for the sacrificial element of it - but man, living is just as important. Flight has its purpose - it would not have been built into our brains, into our bodies without good reason. Fight is not a superior response. It's just one of many that a person can have.

It’s a very black or white sort of statement from Beatrice and the only leeway I could think of to give her was that maybe for Beatrice, fight is all she’s ever known. That she was never given the chance for flight - or that it was drilled into her head that flight was selfish and cowardly. Taken from a queer and/or Asian perspective, that kind of makes sense. Especially if “fight” encompasses things like “enduring” - as in, enduring the shitty hand that you’ve been dealt, where you learn to survive despite the pain.

After all, Beatrice did say “pain is what made me a sister warrior” - it’s possible that she sees flight, running to be seen as an insult to all the fighting, all the pain she’s had to endure thus far. (Which I suppose that makes it all the more meaningful that she leaves at the end of s2…)

Anyway, I just wish there had been a bit more nuance in that conversation, or at the very least, less of the whole “let’s shame Ava for wanting to live without addressing all the trauma she’s been through” agenda that seems to permeate so many of these episodes in this season.

Sorry this came out much more rant-y than my other posts. Alba was really the only reason why I made it through this episode, she was wonderful to watch in every scene. Just wish there had been a bit more to it, yknow?

[purrpickle]

OH MY GOD please please please continue, I suddenly need the royal au more than breathing

((Can't do links because tumblr will eat this if I do, but you can search Royalty AU!Mon on my blog to find the 'verse and fic these are in reference to.))

Hah hah, thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it; I had a pretty good time writing it, myself, even if I was going, "No... Don't add a third fic 'verse to your plate... No... Don't do this, Sarah! You already have other stories you haven't started working on yet so you wouldn't do this!"

Alas, alack, I created a new fic 'verse I ideally would want to continue in some way anyway.

As it stands now, I still have a plan of either finishing the third part of my WT:TOWLSKS(WP)aCE series or my Moneung/Monsam fic before my birthday as a triumphant birthday present to myself, and I have ten days to do that. Not saying the muses won't wrench me around as they are wont to do and have me furiously type out more of Royalty AU!Mon first or during, but I am hoping to focus on my other stories more. I know I've been waiting to get them finished!

But seriously, thank you! I really appreciate the message!

(And please don't stop breathing!)

Yes, Mon definitely could have said that and gotten the exact same response! However, she had seen enough dramas and romcoms to know not to, instead having decided to try to speak from the heart as she wanted Sam to know how much she loved her and... Misjudged a bit. Just a bit. A teeny bit.

Okay, a lot of bit because saying, "I have to tell you something, but please... Please know it does not change how much I love you more than anything else in the world," to someone like Sam who already has a tendency of assuming the worst (mind you, all after Sam had found Mon crying to herself at Sir Phoom's estate followed by a silent ride home with Mon breaking down as soon as she gets inside their house before disappearing into their bedroom for a long time to speak to her parents without talking to her first...) really just threw up all the red flags Sam could ever conceivably think of, all of them aimed at her and Mon's relationship and her partner's potential worst case scenario actions.

Oof. Oh Mon. Maybe she should have waited to gather her thoughts better before throwing herself into her explanation, but (aside from being exhausted as well) she couldn't stand seeing Sam so worried and concerned for any longer that she felt like she needed to do it then. Guilt is insipid. And when that guilt mixes with her guilt of hiding her royal status, it really becomes a heavy crown to wear. Ba-dum-tss.

Anyway, ramble ramble, but thank you! I appreciate this message as well. The Royalty AU!Mon 'verse seems to have connected with people, and it's really nice to see. As I said above (and obviously show here that I'm still in its feels), I would like to continue and further explore this 'verse that's being created; I just don't know when that will be.

[queenharumiura]

Sense and other specific HCs

Phew I forgot about it and then I remembered in the middle of me rereading something lol

What  does  your  muse  smell  like  ? If the perfume based off Haru is of any indication of a vibe for what she smells like, I agree with the fact they have lemon, bergamot, rose, muguet jasmine, and lavender as some notable scents. I do think citrus fits her vibe as they're pretty energizing smells. Then the other ones are floral smells, which I think fits her namesake (spring). You'd think of flowers. So essentially, I do think she has a citrus or a floral kind of smell. I'll also throw in that sometimes, she'll smell like vanilla, especially if she was baking.

What  do  your  muse’s  hands  feel  like ? Haru has pretty soft hands, but she's got areas where she has some calluses, especially on the palms, and some of her fingertips. The palms is because she is a part of the gymnastics club, so she has some calluses on her palms. For her fingertips, it's noted she goes to an all girl's private school notable for their good school program. As ditzy as she can be, she's quite smart, and she does attend some afterschool tutoring on some days. It's common for many students to have a callus on the finger tips from holding a pencil/pen a lot. She enjoys making costumes, which require a use of a needle, so she would also have one on her thumb. There is a possibility that she'd have some pricks from a needle or a small cut or two from when she's practicing her cooking skills. She does try to keep her hands in good condition by using lotion often.

What  does  your  muse  usually  eat  in  a  day ? She's definitely a 3 meals per day kinda gal. Some of which would be food that she'd cooked herself as she's honing her skill, but she also has the food that her mother cooks, of course. She may snack a bit in between meals depending on if she has a hankering for it. I'm sure she also gets a good amount of fruit a day.

Does  your  muse  have  a  good  singing  voice ? I mean, I think she does decently well? She's got an upbeat kind of cadence to most of the songs that she sings. She can keep a note and they don't sound bad. She is surprisingly not that bad with an enka-esque kind of style either. Look up her character songs, ahahahaha

Does  your  muse  have  any  bad  habits  or  nervous  ticks  ? Well, for sure, she's very enthusiastic and doesn't seem to have a sense of chill a lot of the times. She's a bit hotheaded and she's more so the type to act first and maybe ask questions during and after. To go along with this, she's surprisingly pretty judgmental as much as she's also the sort of person who is willing to accept differences in a person. Her willingness to accept stems from how much she likes the other person and if it doesn't cross a certain threshold on her morality scale.

She has the tendency to get violent when she's being dramatic. Poor Lambo has seen the brunt of this because she thought he was a pervert. She's also attacked Dr.Shamal (as she should). She's quite loud when she's panicked (and it's quite easy to send her into a panic), and that's disruptive to public order lol. Hekk, she's just loud in general, i'm not gonna lie.

Nervous ticks, she panics and she's the kind to stammer-- and she often has been seen having her mind venture down into dramatics and the worst case scenarios. If not gymnastics, I feel she would've gone into the drama club LOLOL. Also, when she gets nervous/shy she has a tendency to make unintelligible noises. She's cute. Oh! when she's nervous, she also has been seen to have a tendency to hold onto an arm of a person nearby, someone that she trusts/feel safe around. I love that for her.

What  does  your  muse  usually  look  like/wear  ? I mean, she's normally wearing her school uniform as she's a student. It is a part of the rules to wear your uniform when you're out during the school week to keep yourself safe but also to hold people accountable if anything were to happen. People will be able to easily identify if a student was involved and at which school they study. Aside from that, she does like to wear clothing that offers a lot of mobility. She tends to prefer the brighter colors.

Is  your  muse  affectionate  ?  How  so  ? Yes, very much so. Haru is very phyiscally affectionate. She enjoys to hug, hold hands, or pat people, primarily children. She's also very verbally affectionate, not being shy to let people know with words how fond of them she is. Most of all her affection is conveyed by acts of service. She does like to feel helpful and she has a very supportive personality. She likes to do what she can to make those around her happy. Either she's dressing up to cheer them up, or sitting down and trying to help them with homework, cooking or cleaning as a background support, etc. She's very affectionate in obvious ways.

What  position  does  your  muse  sleep  in  ?   Haru is the sort who sleeps on her side and curls up a little bit. If there is something else in bed with her, she may hold them to her, or very close by-- as seen in canon.

Could  you  hear  your  muse  in  the  hallway  from  another  room  ?  I can literally hear Haru anywhere if I wanted to. I can hear her 'hahi!' in my head right now as I type. Jokes aside- Haru can be quiet when need be, but she does have a loud voice. She definitely booms when she's angry.

Tagged by: @zcitgcistcr

Tagging: I don't tag, so steal.

[notalexhorne]

I keep having conversations with my therapist about my tendency to catastrophise and build up weird paranoias from nowhere. And often, I don’t think I do this at all. I mean, I do think I am being a bit paranoid, but justifiably.

Most recently, we were talking about how I don’t like feeling like the squirrels are watching me. It’s a very specific thing to dislike, and it does extend to the human neighbours as well, to an equal degree I think, but I specifically want the squirrels to stay out of my business.

I recognise this is mad. She asked me why I put up curtains to keep the squirrels from watching me. Valid question. But it’s one I had an answer for, because the curtains were in part a direct response to it. I’ve had the fuckers bum rush me through the front door. I opened it to go out or pick up a package or something, and squirrels got in and I had to fight the little dickheads out of my apartment. They carry plague around here. I don’t want that shit.

Logically, there’s a part of my intelligent brain that knows the squirrels are not clever enough to be able to see when I am coming or going, and therefore cannot formulate a strategy to get into my apartment when I open the door. But the fact that it has happened has convinced my brain that it will happen again. What’s the worst case scenario of leaving the curtains open? That, which has already happened. It’s not a hypothetical situation, when I’ve had to clean up squirrel piss from my carpet because it has, in fact, happened already.

It’s a lower stakes example, but it’s the most recent one we discussed.

The worst thing about hypochondria is not the paranoia that you have five hundred billion things wrong with you

it’s the paranoia that your paranoia isn't paranoia and you’re ignoring real problems because your anxiety has cried wolf so much in the past