#and in general the last couple years almost all sequels have really put a bad taste in my mouth

[bereft-of-frogs]

If you had told me a year ago that I would be *this* wary about the sequels to two things I loved…well I would believe you because a year ago the cracks were already really apparent but 3-5 years ago I would be shocked and me now I’m just really sad about it.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990)

“How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?”

You’re right, John McClane, Die Hard 2 is improbable. When the results are this entertaining, who are we to complain? It’s got the hero we love back in full form, big action set pieces that’ll knock your socks off and a worthy adversary of a villain. It's a sequel that satisfies.

Two years after the incident at the Nakatomi Plaza, LA police officer John McClane (Bruce Willis) is waiting for his wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) to arrive at the airport. As her flight approaches, former U.S. Special Forces Colonel William Stuart (William Sadler) and his men hack into the airport’s traffic control system, take over all communication and hold the flights above hostage. They demand General Ramon Esperanza (Franco Nero), recently arrested and on his way to the United States, be delivered to them - or else.

I often see Die Hard listed as “the best Christmas movie”, which I'm almost certain is a gag answer. It’s not really about the spirit of the holidays; it’s merely set during the season. The same applies to this underrated sequel. McClane is back. This time, he feels less vulnerable than he did before but that’s ok. He’s once again out of his element and forced to use his wits to outgun and outmaneuver opponents who outnumber him about 12-to-1. Like before, his wife is being incidentally held hostage. Throughout the film, you’re always worried the villains will find out and that she’ll be used against our hero. You believe Stuart would sink that low. He’s as ruthless as he is good at the whole bad guy thing. The stakes feel even higher than they did last time. We’re not talking about a couple dozen hostages. It’s entire planes full of innocents who don’t even know they’re in danger.

The situation's intensity is cranked way up because of the villains’ plan. They’re not in the airport itself, but they have to be close. While navigating the corridors of red tape put up by the bewildered and panicked airport security, McClane has a mystery to solve. A mystery with a time limit. For now, the planes are circling above but their fuel won't last forever. The stakes and time limit keep the plot moving from one big action scene to the next. The stunts and special effects dwarf everything we saw previously. That’s the right way to go about it. If you can’t be as smart and tense as Die Hard, double-down on the spectacle. It adds up to the same results.

There’s just the right amount of one-liners and jokes to ease the tension before director Renny Harlin puts you through the wringer again. The side characters - played by Dennis Franz, John Amos, Art Evans - are memorable. Their little arcs add a lot of life to this twisty thriller. Just when you think McClane’s gotten a break, some new obstacle pops up. When he does manage to overcome one, the big set pieces will have you pumping your fists and cheering. You just hate those baddies so much that seeing them get riddled with holes, blown up or otherwise taken down makes it feel like a proper Christmas wish come true.

While you might raise an eyebrow at Die Hard 2 initially, in no time at all, it’ll have you nervously stuffing your face with popcorn, wondering how our hero will make it out of this dire situation alive. Here's an idea. In the same way that you should occasionally swap out Home Alone from your holiday roster with Home Alone 2 to keep things fresh, why not do the same with Die Hard and Die Hard 2? (On Blu-ray, February 7, 2020)

[jaerie]

2022 Evaluation of my Fics

I was tagged by @chai-hat-tea

1. Number of stories posted to AO3 this year: 24

2. Word count posted for the year: 95,054

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry/Louis and then some that I wrote anon that I won’t out myself on haha

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Mr. Tuesday

Bookmarks: Mr. Tuesday

Comments: Mr. Tuesday hahahaha wow yall loved that one

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): 

I guess probably Mr. Tuesday.  I had a lot of hope for The Marm but I struggled a LOT writing this year and it ended up not being what I wanted and hoped it would be.  

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

I think I’d probably have to say The Marm just for the reason above.  I had so many good ideas for it… but I just wasn’t able to make it happen.  So much potential.  It’s not a BAD fic overall, I just know what it could have been.  

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

I don’t have a specific one to pull out unfortunately… but I receive comments saying how they trust me with new topics or kinks and it makes me feel like the mom of unchartered territory.  Like hold my hand and let’s dive through it kids!  Those are always the best because I try to approach topics with realistic thought processes and human experience even though most situations are fictional.  It’s hard to describe what I put into fics, but it’s nice to see that I really am putting across what I’m trying to.  

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

This year was really hard for me to write in general. The past couple years have been very very difficult.  The trauma over the last few years specifically from everything that has happened in my professional life made it really hard to do much more than come home and disassociate on Tiktok or some mindless phone game.  I also traveled to 4 countries for 12 Harry shows and 5 Louis shows which ate up a lot of time.  It was the first year of my 19 years in the industry that I used my entire allotment of employee rate hotel rooms if that says anything.  I also have realized that my tolerance level for things has become so very low and I have taken a lot of things to heart that I would have brushed off in past years.  The main one being that everyone comments on every single story about wanting sequels and about how they can’t wait to see what happens! Not realizing that I am internalizing that as the original fic not being good enough.  I understand the thoughts behind the comments and I do appreciate that people want more, but in the mental state I’m in, it has been very hard to not see it as a sign of inadequacy.  

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

At this point, I feel like I’ve written so many surprising things that nothing surprises me anymore!  I often try to push myself to write something bizarre or dark.  I guess it always surprises me when something turns out to be soft when I didn’t set out for it to be.

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

I really liked this setup:

The pages of the date book fluttered as Harry used his thumb to open to the current page. Everyone used the online schedule system now, but Harry always preferred paper. He copied any appointments down every morning to keep it up to date. He slid his finger across his handwriting in pink ink until he came to today.

 Tuesday. Harry loved Mr. Tuesday. 

 It was true that most of his clients were regulars, but there was just something about Mr. Tuesday that would make him stand out amongst the others even if he hadn’t booked almost every single Tuesday with him for the past year. It was the first day of Harry’s work week and Mr. Tuesday always eased him into it in such a pleasant way. It also meant Harry didn’t have to worry about primping himself all weekend since Mr. Tuesday liked him more natural. It was one less day he had to shave his sensitive parts. 

 Harry still prepared like he would for any client. He spent some time in the shower washing every inch of himself and then cleaned and sanitized the bathroom behind himself. He threw on a robe and some little shorts so he wasn’t completely naked as he moved around the room. His checklist was so routine now as he checked that the bedside table was fully stocked even though it would be impossible to go through that many condoms in one session. 

 There was a light knock on the door and Harry glanced up at his clock. 5:30. Right on time. 

 Harry took the few steps around the bed to answer the door while he was still wearing his robe. It wasn’t one of his sexy silk ones, it was pink and fluffy and usually only used to snuggle into when he wasn’t on the clock. Mr. Tuesday only liked Harry’s lingerie on special occasions. 

 Always aware of safety, Harry checked the peephole before opening the door. Mr. Tuesday handed him the token that confirmed he’d checked in at the front just as all of his clients had to. There didn’t need to be any negotiations. They were both on the same page. 

 12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

That’s a difficult question.  My initial response is that I didn’t grow, but that’s never entirely true.  Loss of skill has been a huge concern for me with such long stretches of not writing anything. So I would say that trying to adapt to writing in new mindsets with new processes that work in said mindset was growth. I don’t know how successful it has been, but I’ve completed a few things so it isn’t entirely a failure.  

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I hope to be able to focus on one thing and get it done. My goal is to fully form ideas before just diving in as I always have in the past.  We’ll see how that goes.  

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

If I spoke with you about writing, you’re a positive influence. I have a couple group chats made of individuals who are usually up for indulging my ideas even if they never become much more than ideas.  

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

I think a lot more themes or ideas from my real life pop up in my fics than anyone realizes.  I won’t expose most of those things, but gender has been a reoccuring theme for the year.  

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

I don’t really feel like I’m in a place to offer much wisdom… but I will say that if you want to write it, write it.  There is an audience for EVERYTHING. It may not be a large audience, but there will be an audience.  Rare pairs, dark fics, controversial fics, etc etc.  Someone will always read it if you are willing to write it.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

I may have made a mistake with signing up for this round of Big Bang... but I have a lot invested in the fic and I am feeling pretty good about it so far.  I am really hoping I am able to do my idea and careful plotting justice.  It isn’t exactly like the things I usually write, but I’m hoping that will be a refreshing jumpstart for other projects. One step at a time, though.  

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

If you’re a writer, consider this your tag! Tag me when you answer!

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Healing Hands

A/N: I wrote a sequel to Healer! Though I think it could be read as a standalone too. It’s actually longer than Healer is but I wanted to write about what happened afterwards. It’s cute, it’s a little bit funny and a little bit steamy. Enjoy!

Title: Conrad Sewell - Healing Hands

Summary: Draco arrives at the readers flat to build the bookshelves.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader

Requested:

Warnings: a little bit steamy 

Word count: 1.6k

A knock on the door signals his arrival. The butterflies in your stomach haven’t settled since you walked out of St Mungo’s.

“I brought Chinese food,” He says as way of greeting.

You groan, moving to the side to let him in, “My saviour. I am so hungry.”

He places the food on the table, leaning against the kitchen counter as you grab the plates and cutlery. It all felt very domestic; having Draco in your kitchen, in your home. It felt right.

“How was work?” You ask him, grabbing the takeout boxes.

“It was long, but I had this one patient – hurt herself building a bookshelf, if you can believe it.”

“She sounds like an independent woman,” You state, raising an eyebrow as you lift a forkful of food to your mouth.

Draco swallows his mouthful, “I don’t doubt it, but she was the highlight of my shift. It helped that she was cute.”

“Was!?” You shout, affronted.

He laughs, hands up, relenting, “Okay, you’re always cute.”

You point your fork at him, “That is correct, Draco. I’m ridiculously cute.”

Draco smiles; the kind of smile where his eyes crinkle and his teeth show. It makes him look so much younger and you wonder how long it has been since he’s had evening like this.

“You didn’t have to do this, Draco. I completely understand if you just wanted to go home and sleep.”

“I want to do this. I want to spend more time with you,” He says, honestly.

“You know Draco, I think you might be too good for this world.”

“Don’t be silly. Now hand me the instructions.” Draco mutters, grabbing the instructions and holding the close to his face – an attempt to hide the blush you had so easily brought to his cheeks with a number of words.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bookshelves start to take shape in no time at all. Draco does most of the work, only accepting minimum work from you.

“Wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself again,” He says as if it’s a good enough reason.

“Nonsense. Hand me the instructions, Malfoy, I am the resident expert on Ikea flatpack.”

“I think the screwdriver begs to differ.”

“Oh, we’re making jokes now. We’re joking about my injury?” You gasp, holding your injured hand to your heart, pouting at the blonde-haired man in front of you.

Draco laughs; the sound of it making its home in your heart. At Hogwarts, you never knew such a warm, luscious sound could fall from his mouth.

You remember your vow from earlier; determined to make that sound the soundtrack of the rest of your life.

Draco focuses on connecting the piece of wood that would make the back panel of the bookshelf. “How did you get into writing?”

“It was a coping mechanism after the war.”

He nods silently, a sign for you to continue. “I picked up a pen one day and didn’t stop until I had written my first book. It needed editing, desperately, so I did that. And then there were further revisions and such but after a couple of months, I had my first book, I sent it off to a publisher, and I was sleeping through the night again.”

“That was the worst part of it for me as well,” Draco murmurs, “The not sleeping. I’d be awake for days on end. I did try to sleep but every time I closed my eyes, I saw it all again, every awful thing I did. I started to avoid sleeping, eventually crashing after a few days.”

“Is that why you turned to healing?”

Draco nods, “My family… they did so much bad through the war. There would be no redemption or if there was, there would be very little. I wanted to help people; I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. So I started to read what I could on the subject; raiding my family’s library and it went from there. I love what I do, it’s helped me become a better person.”

“That…” You pause, thinking of the right words, “That is a very noble reason to become a Healer, Draco.”

A blush stains his cheeks, “Thank you. Do you talk to anyone from school?”

You take a sip of your drink, “A few people, not many. Hermione and Ron never fail to send me flowers after a book is published. Neville sends letters from Hogwarts, telling me how happy is to be teaching. Do you?”

“Not really. I spoke to Potter not long back, wanting to apologise for my actions in school. He forgave me, surprisingly. Hermione was harder; I was so awful to her, but she still forgave me. I have no contact with anyone from Slytherin.”

“You aren’t the same person as you were at school, Draco. They know that and they understand that.” You state, remembering the conversation you had with Hermione when she had mentioned that Draco had stopped by and asked for her forgiveness for his actions through their education.

Quiet falls between the both of you; the only noise coming from the hammer being used on the bookshelves. It’s comfortable, and you’re practically assaulted with visions of a possible future – complete domesticity for you and Draco; an office for each of you where you can write and he can catch up on paperwork, but the both you know that he would rather sit in your office on your couch so he can be near you through your thought process. You see early mornings in the kitchen, the both of you still bleary-eyed with sleep – soft touches and kisses exchanged over the first cup of coffee for the day. You see the celebration of another of your books being published coinciding with a promotion for Draco; champagne opened and quickly forgotten as Draco presses you into the couch in the living room.

It’s over just as quickly as it began, and nothing has changed yet everything has changed – for you. Draco continues to build the bookshelves. You, on the other hand, have been knocked breathless by the strength of how much you want the man in front of you.

“I never asked: what do you write?”

You blink, recovering from your realisation, “Romance, mainly. Some Fantasy.”

“I have to admit, I haven’t read anything of yours.” Draco says, a hand rubbing the back of his neck.

You chuckle, “That’s okay. I bet you’ve read nothing but medical textbooks for the last few years.”

“Got it in one,” He says, smiling widely.

“I’ve got plenty of copies of my books. I’ll happily give you one.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer. It means I’ll have to come back for the others,” He says, cheekily.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some form of sadness washes over you as the bookshelves finally stand independently. It’s as of Draco’s work is done, and the idea that you might not see him again for some time opens a hole in your chest.

You help Draco move the bookshelves into position against the wall; all the while, you’re wondering how you could see him again, trying to work up the courage to ask to see him again.

He beats you to it.  

“I would really like to do this again,” Draco says, grabbing his jacket from where he placed it on the back of a chair.

“What? Build my bookshelves?”

Draco looks at you unimpressed, “No, I meant see you again.”

You bite your lip to keep from smiling; you don’t miss how Draco’s eyes home in on the sight of your teeth sunk into your bottom lip.

“I’d like to see you again too,” You whisper.

You both linger in the doorway. Draco’s jacket still in his hands as if he doesn’t want to put it on because if he puts it on, it means that he’s leaving, and he doesn’t know when he is going to see you again, and deep down, he doesn’t want to leave you.

“Can I try something?”

“As long as it’s you kissing me,” You say bluntly.

Draco drops his jacket. His hands caressing your face as he brings his lips to meet yours. They glide together effortlessly, as if they were made for each other.  

He presses you into the wall, his body lining itself up with yours. A hand travels to your thigh, squeezing. One of your hands finds purchase in his hair, grabbing at the blonde locks and pulling, drawing a groan from his mouth. You smile into the kiss; Draco responds by biting down on your lower lip – something he had wanted to do since he saw you bite it. He kisses you with passion, with unrelenting feeling.

It’s almost too much; the feel of him pressed against you, it’s almost too much and you can feel yourself start to internally combust.

When you pull away to take a breath, Draco begins to press open-mouthed kisses to your jawline, travelling down your neck before settling on a spot to leave a dark purple bruise. One of your hands runs itself through his hair; the other begins to pull at his shirt, trying to get it off, off, off.

Draco continues his pursuit down your neck; very much enjoying the breathless moans falling from your mouth. He stops when you whisper one word: “Stay.”

He pulls back placing not one, not two but three light kisses to your lips. He relishes the sight of you chasing his lips. “Stay,” you repeat.

He nods, searching your eyes for the permission despite it being spoken, and that’s all it takes. All the both of them need to know.

****

Harry Potter (general) taglist: @the-hufflefluffwriter @obsessedwithrandomthings @kalimagik @lupins-sweater @summer-writes

Draco Malfoy taglist: @cheapglitter 

Healer sequel taglist: @onebatch--twobatch @sydneyisnotawriter 

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: Scream (2022)

Oh how I've missed this type of horror! Sure we've had some fun slashers in the past couple of years, but most were just homages to the OG horror films. To return to a franchise that not only revitalized, re-invented and rebirthed the slasher genre, was a very risky move. I honestly thought there wasn't anywhere else to go after the 4th film in the Scream franchise. Since we lost the Master of Horror Wes Craven, I thought that his last entry was good enough to end it the bloodshed there. Now a new generation of masterminds have taken the blood soaked reigns of the franchise and delivered not only a worthy film, but a tribute to the genius that he was. I would be lying if I didn't believe in this sequel, but right off the bat I was thrust back into the world and I loved every second of it. The kills are the most brutal of all, the humor is fantastic and the brilliance behind the commentary about the state of the horror genre was meta at its finest. In this age of horror, anytime we can get a refresher that still surprises you in an almost every unexpected way and still keeps you on the edge of your seat is a blessing. This has got to be the most interactive slasher film I have ever experienced.

This franchise has always been about the characters and the fresh blood that is brought in to be spilled. Jenna Ortega was excellent as Tara Carpenter and man was she a trooper. As seen in the trailer, she gets put through the ringer in this film and sells it. Melissa Barrera was great as her estranged sister Samantha and loved their strained relationship. At times it felt like a bad soap opera, but it opened the doors to the mystery behind the attacks and why its happening to them. Jack Quad was fun as her awkward and often correct boyfriend Richie. I loved the chemistry between them and I felt the care he had for her. Mikey Madison was good and emo as Amber. She was the more cynical person in the friend group, but good. Dylan Minnette was good as Wes Hicks, the son of Deputy Judy Hicks played once again by the wonderful Marley Shelton. My favorite characters of the film were the twins Mindy and Chad Meeks-Martin played by Jasmin Savoy Brown and Mason Gooding. Both were fantastic, but Mindy shined the most as she takes on the mantle left behind by their uncle Randy Meeks played by Jamie Kennedy. Sonia Ben Ammar was great as Chad's girlfriend Liv McKenzie.

You can't have a Scream film without the key surviving members. David Arquette once again shines as the heart of the franchise as Dewey Riley. He really takes the lead in this film as the lovable Han Solo type character and this was the best the character has ever been and the most badass he's ever been. Courtney Cox returns as Gale Weathers and she was stunning, graceful and just as awesome. I loved catching up with her and Dewey's relationship and it does get a bit meta. The original Final Girl returns and she is the wisest of them all. Neve Campbell was fun to see and smart as Sidney Prescott and somehow she finds herself back in the action. It was fun to see all of them together again on the hunt to take down Ghostface again. The sadistic, creepy, sexy and intense voice of Ghostface Roger L. Jackson returns. His voice is that perfect amount of menace that enthralls you with ever word spoken and every witty comeback. I love the scenes especially when Ghostface is taken pleasure in the kill and he gets more intimate this time around.

Franchise composer Marco Beltrami was missing this time around, but an equally capable composer took over and it was chilling. Composer Brian Tyler carries the torch in this installment and he nailed it in everyway. His score had my hair stand up on the back of my neck and kept my heart a flutter once I heard the familiar themes. The themes from the first film and even Dewey's theme kick in at the right moments and it gets you in the right mood for some awesome scares and emotional moments with the characters. The meta humor in this film spoke directly to all fandoms and the audience alike and it was expertly done. This film didn't forget its roots and continued to add to the family tree in a unexpected way. I loved this film and out the 4 that came before it, I think this might be my third favorite entry. This is a must see for all horror fans, a love letter to all Scream fans and a touching tribute to the Master Wes Craven that needs to be seen! Let me know what you thought of the film or my review in the comments below. Thanks for reading!

[marginalgloss]

It occurred to me recently that I haven’t posted here for about nine months, and that if you knew nothing about me except for this blog, you might think that it something of a cliffhanger that I ended it on a post about expecting the arrival of my first child. (Or perhaps that would have been an entirely fitting way to end it.) Either way: I am fine, and we are fine, and last November brought the arrival of my son Robin into my life. I have been very busy almost every day since.

There are a couple of cliches about parenting that remain indisputably true. The first is that they grow up so fast. And the second is that nothing prepares you for it. We thought we were entirely ready and pretty well informed but from his delivery onwards nothing went as planned. We thought we’d feed him when he was hungry, and we’d put him to sleep when he was tired; and change his nappies, and play with him, and love him; and what else was there to it, really?

It turns out there is a lot more to it than that. Before Robin I never realised how polarised, how strained and how political people’s feelings are about matters of childcare. We’ve ended up raising him in ways we had never previously considered, partly out of necessity, and partly out of the kind of habits that grow into paths of desire across the days. Consciously or not I judge people who do things differently, and no doubt they judge me too. In spite of the reams of available literature it turns out that for many things — perhaps even most things — there isn’t necessarily a right or a wrong way to proceed.

Here is a third cliche that turns out to be extremely valuable: every baby is different.

The question of literature is a tricky one. In search of assistance I read a few parenting manuals; some of these turned out to be better than others, but I’ve yet to find a good book about what it means to be a father. Most books aimed at new dads are of the ‘pull your socks up’ variety — the kind of thing where the author imagined it thrust upon some feckless deadbeat by a weary spouse. But, being reasonably conscientious, and looking for something with a bit more depth than a guide to how to change nappies, I’ve found most books about parenting have little of interest to say to new fathers.

Being a dad is an odd thing to write about. I’ve read and heard people talk about how new mothers ought to be proud to be joining a kind of grand universal maternal tradition, one which predates even humanity itself. (Animals surely know about babies; witness my cat Louie’s endless patience with Robin’s various attempts to pull his ears off.)

People do not generally talk about the grand traditions of fatherhood in this way. And for good reason: a lot of men today wouldn’t be happy to follow the example of their own fathers, let alone imitate the conditions of detachment and distance that defined fatherhood for centuries. I want to say that expectations of fathers today have never been higher; but this is only because for most of recorded history, we had no expectations of fathers at all. In the space of perhaps two or three generations we have gone from the idea that a father should only have to provide for a child’s upkeep (and not slap them around too much) to a very immediate understanding of dadhood as a central plank of parenthood.

Perhaps a lot of this speaks more to my own insecurities than it does to anyone else’s. Still, I feel like there’s an easy camaraderie between mothers that isn’t apparent between fathers. My wife has developed a little circle of local mums with whom she’s in constant communication, whereas the WhatsApp group we created for the fathers in our NCT group has languished in silence. I don’t really have anyone with whom to compare notes. And what would we say if I did?

The pandemic has put us in an unusual situation. Ordinarily I would have had two weeks’ paid paternity leave, plus any holiday time taken alongside that. So I took three weeks off work — but I’m still working from home every day, as I have been since March 2020. This means that instead of watching me disappear to work five days a week, my son has spent every day of his life together so far with both his parents. I don’t even know where to begin with writing about the way this has changed us; perhaps I won’t know how to talk about it until it comes to an end.

It does mean that parenting feels like it has consumed my life in ways that might not have otherwise been the case. Being at home for so long with a new baby was a remarkable opportunity, and in the early days — through winter and the Christmas lockdown — it didn’t feel like I was missing out on much. Things are a little different now. Every absence independent from my family feels like it requires a negotiation as much with myself as with anyone else. And I don’t only mean literal absences. Someone new has come into my life and they have no tolerance for anything else that might be meaningful to me. So many of the things against which I used to define myself have necessarily had to be neglected.

It goes without saying that I haven’t written much. Whatever free time I have at the moment is normally spent collapsed in an exhausted heap on the sofa, watching TV. I can count the number of books I’ve actually finished in the last eight months on one hand; I have started and set aside perhaps two dozen. I feel very remote from the person who spent several years documenting here every book he finished.

Games have fared a little better. In the early days, when I found myself with some late night hours to myself, I picked up the remastered Bioshock collection. It took me months, but I eventually finished all three: the first game is a masterpiece, the second is a very decent sequel, and the third is probably the greatest missed opportunity in all of gaming. (I ended up writing several thousands of words about the games, over the course of weeks — the only thing of substance I’ve written since Robin was born, in fact — which I since abandoned, in a fit of self-doubt and impatience with my own tortuous style.)

But I mean it when I say that the first game is a masterpiece. I had forgotten just how immensely absorbing it is — a journey into another world that’s less realistic than it is gloriously theatrical. Every time I think about it I feel like I want to replay it again. And it never really occurred to me before that Bioshock is about parenting as much as it is a picture of Objectivism in decay. It hits different now, as the kids say.

While driving over the weekend I passed the word ‘DADDY’ outlined in rich pink flowers, laid in memorial at the centre of a roundabout. It made me flinch. Every time I see that word in whatever context it seems to come with an intimation of departure. And in the same way every time I think about this game it seems laden with the feeling of a dying fall that nobody ever really seems to talk about. You play as a kind of genetically modified clone, returning home to his unwelcoming father and near-absent mother in a demented inversion of the Odysseus tale; and the only good you can do in this world is to rescue the handful of innocents left within it. You have to become a father yourself, in a sense. But your days are numbered.

The ending of the original Bioshock is often written off as a bit of a joke. You fight a deliriously incongruous final boss, and then depending on your actions through the rest of the game, you get to see one of two final sequences. In the bad ending, the denizens of Rapture somehow steal a nuclear submarine, and it’s implied that something very bad follows. But the good ending has more to it than that. You return to the surface, and it’s implied that you adopt some of the Little Sisters you rescued down there as though they were your daughters. There’s a brief montage of scenes from an assortment of lives. A graduation. A marriage. A child reaching for a parent’s hand. And then a death bed. The hands of your daughters reach out for you one last time.

After perhaps twenty hours of gameplay this sequence is perhaps less than a minute long. It feels rushed, awkward, sentimental. But as a coda, it also has the outstanding benefit of being perfectly real.

[nighttimepixels]

TALK TO US ABOUT MASS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN AN INSANE MASS EFFECT/SHAKARIAN TRASH PERSON SINCE 20-FUCKING-11 AND LEMME TELL YOU THOSE FEELINGS HAVENOT TARNISHED A SINGLE FRACTION IN THOSE TEN YEARS OH MY GOOOOOOODDDSSSS!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A PLAY-BY-PLAY UP TO THE MINUTE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING!!!!

you are so valid and I totally see why everyone I've ever mentioned it to loves the hell out of it

aksdjlsdfj I meannnn if you want to hear my rambling about it then hell yeah

Okay, gonna put this below the cut to save everyone else XD also- since I'm not leaving this Mass Effect obsession anytime soon, if you're not interested in seeing occasional posts about it, please feel free to block the tag "night plays ME"~

(mild spoilers ahead??)

((also for real I mean it when I say this is rambling as hell lol, apologies and no stress if absolute no one reads all this))

OKAY SO Mass Effect 1-

Stars help me, I was honestly hooked right from the start?? Like even in Legendary Edition (the combined trilogy just re-released in one "can play it on one system + minor improvements", for anyone who doesn't know) where it's smoothed out, of course it's obvious that ME1 is a decade old... but the foundation for these relationships are all there and gods I love them already.

Like - Kaiden right off the top is a delightful good fightin lad, what the hell. I've heard that he's viewed as 'bland' by a good portion of the fan community but I dunno, he's a delight and even more complex by the time 2 rolls around and you encounter him on Horizon, it was honestly Ashley I was way more meh about - mostly because before you can learn about her family history/etc, she comes off as hella xenophobic and I was immediately offended for my growing space family that she didn't like/trust all the aliens around, pfff.

(she gets redeemed a bit through further actions/evolving thoughts, but I thought in retrospect it was a bummer that they didn't flip the order there, give her a chance to be liked before the complicating factor of being so rude about aliens >:c that then she could grow from... ah well. Apparently she has a good arc but uh, let's just say I chose Kaiden at the "key junction" in the latter part of the game so I won't be seeing anymore of Ashley uh... anytime soon, haha.)

Garrus??? Is??????? The ABSOLUTE best???????????

I liked him from the start, I'm always a bit of a sucker for a rogue-detective "the system won't bring this bastard to justice, so I've got to" type and all their moral shadiness XD But he just gets better, honestly, and where I'm at in ME2 (right before the Reaper IFF mission, as of typing this, with everyone's loyalty!) I am only digging myself deeper into this hole-

-*wheezing* okay anyways -

Wrex is AMAZING I love fightin' middle-aged krogan bastard, gods. Liara is great too, I'm a sucker for a wlw relationship (playing fem!Shepard, so) - buuuut I'll admit she's a bit more one-note in ME1. Last week while I was still on ME1 I remember hearing (while trying to dodge spoilers) that her arc is really good, though. I think they leaned a little hard on the 'innocent but sexy' sterteotype on her (so despite the yikes aspect of a few of the things I've learned in ME2, lol, I actually really like the complexity that's been added to her character.)

Saved Liara first, so by the time I got to Noveria and had the standoff with Benezia there was the chance to have emotions over Liara having to face her TwT and of course, I made the questionable but quality decision to free Queen Rachni heheh. no ragrets

More than a blow-by-blow of my choices though I totally wanna take the chance to say that even in the mild jankiness of ME1 (goddammit, the Mako.... please..... please just go up this impossible cliff I just want to resource hunt-) the way that the lore, both obvious/key to main plot and the lesser/filler/background/world-building kinds... I just love it. It incorporates it well, you can go ham in the codex learning more, or just dive into the basics - it's clearly a complex galaxy (and they do an even better job in 2 of fleshing it out further), and it never really felt overwhelming. It was pretty natural figuring it all out-!

Plus the interesting implications of resource hunting amongst the sapient races, and the little side missions you better bet I did every one of- there's so much rich depth in the story if you do 'em!! (And that lead with that Keeper side mission...? Looking back, damn, clever foreshadowing-!!!)

And oh my gods, Ilios??? hell yeah. I loved that mission so much, especially having Garrus & Kaiden with me when talking to the hologram/computer, and more than anything, that last sprint in the Mako trying to get to the jump before it closed-???

yeet the boi-

Also mannn I love a good setpiece, and having to go up the side of the elevator, space-side?? such a cool setup!!

Plus it felt good having been Paragon enough (as simple as the good v bad vibe system is, I don't hate it, lol) to avoid one of the Saren fights, ngl. And the er, "second fight" with Sovereign-Saren.... hell yeah

... I'll admit I had to double check my choice re whether to save the Council. I did in the end, but I swear, sometimes the way they phrase things I'm like ".... okay but Garrus is right, defeating Sovereign is more important than these few leaders??????" woops. Listen, priorities, is all I'm saying..... (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

'Course later they emphasize (in ME2) that there were 10,000 people on that same ship and I was like well I wouldn't have second guessed if I'd known that, I mean c'mon-

Also I did indeed romance Liara in this one, so I got that scene ;Dc But,,,, I also knew by the end that I was totally gonna romance Garrus in 2 since he's an option then finally,,,,, lemme tell you the guilt as I waffled over whether to romance Liara bc of it. hahaha.

Aaaaand Mass Effect 2-

So I'm only up to right before the Reaper IFF Mission, so I don't know the ending, etc etc lol. That said, I've just finished every side mission I've found with the exception of the Shadowbroker Quest and the Arrival Quest (I've heard the latter basically leads into ME3, and the former is best either right before the Omega 4 jump or in postgame).

So from the start - fuck yeah fuck yeah what a high adrenaline start Shepard noooooo but also yes save Joker aH-

The motion comic too hot damn nice job

I loved this setup, seriously - especially forcing Shep into this situation, having to work with/for Cerberus, and the compelling reasoning given behind "why" they do what they do (I especially found it a good point that the Salarians have the Task Force, the Asaris the Commandos, the Turians the- etc... like, true, when you put it like that, having a similar group advancing human interests/solving human interstellar problems is pretty reasonable...). That said, I love too that it really isn't shied away from how Cerberus is nonetheless fucked up - or its at least done fucked up stuff.

Listen, I still think some messed up stuff is gonna be revealed in 2's endgame......... after that Horizon mission and the Collector's ship???? TIM I SEE YOU YOU SHADY MF-

aaanyways lol...

I'm so so glad on a gameplay level they nixed the Mako style exploration. A few Hammerhead missions are fine and a lot more focused than the slippery ass navigation in that glorified ATV, pfff. The probes are a neat way of getting after similar resources - and more importantly, having good levels and some good hubs (the Zakera Wards, Omega, Ilium, etc) is way way more fun than having a more 'sprawling' space that is.... a lot of empty nonsense, lol.

Then there's the fact that we get Joker right off the bat and you can interact with him so much - and him and EDI??? Get out gods I love them. Kasumi is so right when she says they sound like a bickering old married couple lol. I have a terrible feeling that some shit is gonna happen with EDI..... but I don't think she's evil as-is, at least.

Side-eying the hell out of those "access forbidden" parts of her that she doesn't even know.... and the fact that her AI core has a locked door access................... something's gonna happen gdi LEAVE OUR ADOPTED AI ALONE.

(Also Joker pls stop fracturing your thumb on the mute button)

Also please save me there are so many hot aliens in this game,,,,, the xeno/monsterfuckers really comin' through strong in the sequels............... doin' the lord's work........................................

In general, I love how many levels ME stepped up in two with complexity and interwoven narratives!! Like, to the point it'd be almost a drag to replay ME1, even though it was fun going through it (if occasionally a bit tedious with the cookie cutter rando planet science/mine facilities, lol). Like, just from how fun and interesting ME2 is, mostly! more of all the pre-introduced races, plus new ones, plus more filling in of intragalactic politics, and more interesting implications of all these space-faring races mixing....

Also gods WREX and his planet holy shit,,,,, fuckin' hell yeah my man get their shit together and also adopt Grunt yes good-

And Mordin??? My singing semi-evil scientist best friend forced to confront his choices more than he thought he ever would have???? With some of the best ongoing general report chatter of all the companions??

(when I tell you I choked on my coffee when I talked to him after confirming romance choice w/ Garrus and that 'pamphlet' and 'anaphalactic shot if ingesting-' kajsldkfjsldfjk)

Like, fuck, the fact that they actually dive into the mixed morality and horrors of the genophage, and you can confront Mordin on it, for good reason, yet he still stands his ground, until finally some bits of his loyalty mission seem to... affect him, and I'm guessing might set up things for 3 with him? Unsure, but either way, damn, the fact that they start to dig into it...

And Taliiiii my beloved forbidden alien wife TwT her loyalty mission was SO GOOD. I love how varied they all are?? Getting to defend her and discover what she'd unwittingly been a part of-!!

Zaeed is a bastard but tbh I love that he is and that he's unapologetic in him - and Kasumi omg, best thief. A heist?? Gods, yes- I love our couch lounge chats XD

Samara is..... illegally.......... she's an illegally powerful and beautiful and eloquent MILF...........................

(.... listen I'm sapphic as hell and I'm kicking my own ass for picking her up last aksjdlfksjdfl - but her loyalty mission, damn. And seeing how there's this interesting cultural subset, and the struggle with the Asari in that they unquestioningly accept/respect justicars, but also know that the impact outside their culture is a diplomacy nightmare waiting to happen-)

,.,,,,,T,,, Thane,,,,,

I am weak for morally implicated murder dads okay?? And that voice??? His mannerisms?????? How you first see him, and that prayer after assassinating her...???????? And his history/his people's history with the hanar, gods I love how messy it is, it feels so much more real!

Also Jack is a mess and I love her (and want to get her some therapy, omg), and her and Miranda nearly duking it out after you've done both their loyalty missions??? so good and makes a lot of sense-! Honestly I would love more interactions between teammates on the ship, but there's already so much the devs had to balance I can't blame 'em for minimizing, heh. But suffice to say I also love Miranda and Jacob, even if I'm softest for my alien crew XD Hell yeah Jacob, we'll get loud and spill drinks on the citadel indeed TwT

.... I could write a whole essay on how much I love Garrus oTL Perhaps because he and Tali are the throughlines from 1 on your 2 crew, I have some of the strongest feelings about them... but genuinely, he was one of my favorite companions in the first game, and how you find him as Archangel in two? Getting to help him fight his way out after he's gone nearly 48 hours straight fighting off three gangs alone, jfc. His vengeance quest and what can happen there.... That line? fuck me, that line -

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with gray...

How DARE you come for my heart like this, devs holy shit

(also, some other choice faves so far from the series from him include We can disobey suicidal orders?? and This wasn't in my training manual... [in 1, if you have him with you @ th Thorian fight] and his whole.... pop the heat sink - in his romance ;Dc)

asdasdfksadjfkl like I said I can write an essay on him PFFF suffice to say I'm very looking forward to his romance scene and where things go in 3

But yeah gods I'm just gonna keep rambling if I'm not careful lol. Gods I don't even know what to talk about it's all so good and while I can understand people roasting the obviousness of Paragon V Renegade (v neutral) choices/alignments, I think they do a pretty damn good job in 2 of pushing it further - to the point that there were some times that I accidentally got renegade points and I wasn't that mad, haha. There's so much fun in the interactions that I just have a good time anyways~

I have so many thoughts about TIM (The Illusive Man) and Cerberus.... theories evolving galore............... and like, what the hell!! Omega 4 going to the center of the galaxy is such a cool twist, goddamn - though my heart still breaks at losing Kaiden (his line if you haven't romanced him?? about feeling like he lost a limb when he lost you??? holy shit.... but I also can't blame him for not trusting Cerberus to the point of it affecting his ability to trust Shepard... like fuck Shep go after himmmm) I'm really excited to see where that goes since he comes back in 3, and what the fuck happens with Cerberus bc while I love the fact that obviously there are a lot of people in it for the right reasons, doing good work, there are those that are doing the opposite, and I have a very bad feeling about where TIM will end up landing....

All that said though I need to do the Reaper IFF mission (where I'm lightly spoiled as to getting That Boy, but not how/what happens to make it so - just that it's apparently wise to have all your side missions done before getting him...) and the actual Omega 4 jump. So we'll see what happens and what I think about it from there heheh!

.... major kudos and genuine props if you made it here to the end, I am so sorry for not editing on condensing all this, and appreciate you so much ;w;

[davidmann95]

How about those JL storyboards?

In case you haven’t heard, Zack Snyder is putting on display the ‘storyboards’ - i.e. a rough plot summary accompanied by some Jim Lee sketches - for what would have been Justice League 2 and 3, or as this puts it 2 and ‘2A’. You can see them here (I imagine better-quality versions will soon be released), and read a transcript here. This is evidently a very early version: this was apparently pitched prior to the release of BvS and Justice League being rewritten in the wake of it, with numerous plot details that now don’t line up with what we know about the Snyder Cut, plus it outright mentions it builds on the originally planned versions of the Batman and Flash movies. But it’s a broad outline of what was gonna go down, and while I initially thought it was Snyder throwing in the towel, the timing - paired with the ambiguity left by the necessity for changes, including that this doesn’t factor whatever that “massive cliffhanger” at the end of the Cut is - says to me he’s hoping this’ll be a force multiplier behind efforts to will sequel/s into existence. He’s probably right.

I’ll be discussing spoilers below, but in short: with this Zack Snyder has finally lived up to Alan Moore, in that like Twilight of the Superheroes I wouldn’t believe this was real as opposed to a shockingly on-point parody if not for direct, irrefutable evidence.

Doing some rapid-fire bullet points for this baby to kick us off:

* Folks who know the subject say a lot of this is a yet further continuation of Snyder doing Arthuriana fanfic with the League reskinned over those major players, and I’ll take their word for it.

* I don’t know whether I love or hate that in Justice League 2 the Justice League are only an extant thing for the first scene, and then it’s Snyder giving everybody their own mini-movies. It’s compressing the entire MCU “loosely interconnected solo stories leading to a single big movie later” strategy into a single movie!

*  Funniest line in the whole thing: "Even Lantern has heard of the Kryptonian, worried that he's under the control of Darkseid. He heard his spirit was unbreakable." Hal what fuckin' Superman movie did YOU watch? Second funniest being “IT WILL GIVE HIM POWER OVER ALL LIVING LIFE”

* 90% of the plot I have nothing to say about, it’s generic stage-setting crap. That to be clear is the ‘shocked it’s Snyder’ element, it feels so crassly commercial in a way I can’t believe is coming from the BvS guy.

* Most of what I have to say is unsurprisingly gonna be about a handful of characters but Cyborg’s happy ending being “he isn’t visibly disabled anymore!” is not great!

* The Goddess of War battle with Superman...never pays off? No clue why it’s there.

* What I’d originally heard was that the Codex in Superman’s blood was the last key to the Anti-Life Equation and that’s why Darkseid was coming to Earth. It’s not like all of this wouldn’t have already been averted by Kal-El’s pod smacking into an asteroid on the way to Earth so it’s not as if this makes it any more Superman’s fault, and it would have at least tied all this back to the beginning of the movies, but I suppose that was either fake or from a later draft.

* I have NO idea how this was reimagined without the ‘love triangle’, it’s the central character thing and the entire climax flows directly out of it!

* Darkseid’s kinda a chump in this, huh

Anonymous said: So: Does Zack Snyder hate Superman?

Look: the hilarity of this when Cuck Kent has been a go-to Snyder cult insult towards ‘inferior’ takes on Superman for years cannot be understated, yet at the same time I can almost wrap my brain around where Snyder’s coming from with that as the end for his take on the character. He talked in that Variety piece on how his interest in Superman is informed by having adopted children himself, and Deborah Snyder is the stepmother to his kids by previous relationships, so I can see where he’d be coming from, and I can even imagine how he’d see this as ‘rhyming’ in the sense of “the series begins with Kal-El being adopted by Earth, it ends with him adopting a child of Earth!” In the same way as MARTHA, I can envision how he would put these pieces together in his head thematically without registering or caring what the end result would actually look like. In this case, Superman raising the kid of the man who beat the shit out of him who Batman had with Clark’s wife, who earlier told Bruce she was staying with Clark because he ‘needed her’, suggesting if inadvertently that this really honest to god was a “she’s only staying with Superman out of pity, she really loved Batman more” thing.

But Clark is nothing in this. He’s sad and existential because of coming back from the dead I guess, then he’s corrupted, then time’s undone and he woo-rah rallies the collective armies of the world (interesting angle for the ‘anti-military/anti-establishment’ Superman he’s talked up as) as his big heroic moment in the finale, and then he stops being sad because he’s adopting a kid. So his big much-ballyhooed, extremely necessary five-movie character arc towards truly becoming Superman was:

Sad weird kid -> sad weird kid learns he’s an alien, is still weird and sad, maybe he shouldn’t save people because things could go really wrong? -> his dad is so convinced it could go wrong he lets himself die -> ????? -> Clark is saving people anyway -> learns his origin, gets an inspiring speech about being a bridge between worlds and a costume -> becomes superman (not Superman, that’s later) to save the world, albeit a very property-damagey version, rejects his heritage he just learned about and space dad’s bridge idea -> folks hate him being superman and that sucks though at least he’s got a girlfriend now -> things go so wrong he considers not being superman but his ghost dad reminds him shit always goes wrong so he should be good anyway, which sorta feels like it contradicts his previous advice -> immediate renewed goodness is out the window as he’s blackmailed into having to try and kill a dude but the dude happens to coincidentally have some things in common so they don’t kill each other after all -> big monster now but superman keeps supermaning at it because he loves his girlfriend and he dies -> he’s brought back, wears black which apparently means now he likes Krypton again? -> he has work friends now but he’s still sad because he was dead -> evil now! -> wait nevermind time travel -> rallies the troops -> his wife’s having a kid so he’s not sad anymore -> Superman! Who gives way to more Batman.

Do I think Zack Snyder is lying when he says he likes Superman? No. I think he sincerely finds much of the basic conceits and imagery engaging. But I don’t think he meaningfully gives shit about Clark as a character, just a vessel for Big Iconic Beats he wants to hit. Whereas while for instance he’s critical of Batman as an idea (at least up to a point), he’s much more passionately, directly enamored with him as a presence and personality. So while Superman may be the character whose ostensible myth cycle or arc or however it’s spun might be propelling a lot of events here, it’s a distant appreciation - of course the other guy takes over and subsumes him into his own narrative. Of course Batman is the savior, the past and the future (though if he’s supposed to be Batman’s kid raised by Superman there’s no excuse for him not to be Nightwing), the tragic martyr to our potential. Admittedly the implication here is also that Batman can apparently only REALLY with his whole heart be willing to sacrifice his life to save an innocent, for that matter apparently his great love, once said innocent is a receptacle for his Bat-brood, but he and Clark are both already irredeemable pieces of shit by the end of BvS so it’s not like this even registers by comparison.

Anonymous said: That “plan” Snyder had was utter dogshit. Picture proof that DC & WB hate Superman. Also I love how you’re like Jor-El: Every single idealistic take you had about Snyder, his fandom, and BvS was wrong. Snyder’s an edgy hack, his fanbase just wants to jerk off to their edgy self-insert Batgod as he screams FUCK while mowing people down with machine guns, and the idea that BvS said Superman was better than Bats was completely wrong. You know what comes next SuperMann: Either you die or I do.

In the final analysis, beyond that mother of god is there sure no conceivable excuse for the treatment of Lois in this? The temptation is to join that anon and say as I originally tweeted that these were “built entirely to disabuse every single redemptive reading of the previous work and any notion of these movies as nuanced, artistic, self-reflective, or meaningful”.

...

...

...yeah, okay, that’s mostly right. Zack Snyder’s vision really was the vision of an edgelord idiot with bad ideas who was never going to build up to anything that would reframe it all as a sensible whole. He’s a sincere edgelord genuinely trying really hard with his bad ideas who put some of them together quite cleverly! But they’re fucking bad and the endgame was never anything more than ramping up into smashing the action figures together as big as he could, the political overtones and moral sketchiness of BvS while trying to say something in that movie reverberated through the grand scheme of his pentalogy in no way beyond giving his boys a big sad pit to rise out of so when they kicked ass later it’d rule harder, and all the gods among men questions and horror and trappings were only that: trappings. Apparently he’s really pleasant and well-meaning in person, but at his core his art as embodied in a couple weeks in his 4-hour R-rated Justice League movie meant to be seen in black-and-white all comes down to that time he yelled at someone on Twitter that he couldn’t appreciate Snyder’s work because it’s for grown-ups. He made half-clever, occasionally exciting shit cape movies for a bunch of corny pseudo-intellectual douchebags, folks latching onto and justifying blockbusters that at least acknowledge how horrifying the world is right now even if the superheroes are basically useless in the face of it if not outright part of the problem until a convenient alien invasion shows up to justify them, and a handful of non-asshole smart people who vibe with it but...well. ‘Suckered’ is a harsh word, and definitely doesn’t apply to all of them re: what they’ve gotten out of it up to this point and would (somehow) get out of this. But it doesn’t apply to none of them, either.

[gesternchen]

Just randomly reviewing scenes from the movies no one remembers now. This week: Avatar (2009).

It’s not like everyone forgot James Cameron’s Avatar. Since we’re still getting some footage from behind the scenes of the sequel and news about the cast, at least someone takes pains to remind themselves of this cinematic experience from the year of 2009. It’s already been 84 (just kidding, 11) years and I’m still looking forward to at least watching the teaser (fun fact: I was 11 when Avatar came out, I’m 22 now). I even bought the Darkhorse comic book on Tsu’Tey’s backstory to, you know, investigate one of my favorite characters a little bit better (spoiler: the backstory wasn’t very much eventful but I noticed a nice detail there which I may talk about briefly a bit later).

Throughout the years Avatar has received a lot of backlash and more or less justified criticism, mainly for the plot and its problematic packaging. I believe, it depends on the perspective one watches a movie from. Of course, I wouldn’t call it an absolute gem of exciting storytelling, even though I truly enjoy it, as in majority its twists are undeniably predictable. However, I always disagreed with people saying relations in Avatar aren’t deep at all. Well, romance between Jake and Neytiri, which, let’s be honest, except for the scene of telling the truth, went too smoothly, and this is why I strongly believe clash of interests is inevitable in sequels. Their interaction remained the key one for the whole movie, and nothing is bad about that, people enjoy a nice lovestory, so do I. But 11 years after I’d like to focus on the disturbing conflict everyone prefers to ignore for some reason when recalling Avatar. For me it’s always been Jake versus Colonel Quaritch.

You guys may have already guessed which scenes I wanna talk about. Those really important ones that I consider climactic to the pace of narration. And what is more about them, they give us crucial details in character development and actors’ play to think through. The main message: Quaritch knew it was coming.

Let me firstly touch upon the scene of short conversation between Jake and Quaritch prior to Sully presumably leaving Pandora. While Jake is awating Quaritch in a large empty hall, he hardly seems to be calm about the talk, every nerve in his body is trembling, but why?

The way Jake’s drumming his fingers on the table makes me wonder if he’s okay.

Then Colonel enters the hall, grabs a chair and reminds that it had been more than two weeks since he got the latest report on how the misson was going. He knows, Sully is questioning reality, and no, he’s not ‘doubting his resolve’. He knows, the right moment to ‘terminate the mission’ is missed. He knows, he lost Jake. He knows, he’s talking to the deserter. Yet Quaritch speaks indifferent. He praises Jake’s effort and rewards him for that. With real legs he promised to him when they first talked. Quaritch hoped they’d trigger the realization in Jake. Which doesn’t happen. How sad he looks when Jake openly refuses to accept the reward.

In just one sequence Stephen’s face demonstrates the shift of all four feelings Quaritch goes through: dissatisfaction, melancholy, shame, disgust.

Quaritch sensed the moment when Jake expressed superiority to the mankind. Jake grasped that Quaritch knew everything, he played with fire, and that’s why he felt anxiety. And it lasted all the way until Quaritch stepped back for leaving the hall. But did Colonel really surrender? I doubt that.

The tension between them both feels electric, so it’s explainable why Jake’s transient smile is so awkward. Sam then heavily staring straight at Colonel's back suggests that up until now Jake regarded Quaritch as his enemy. The enemy he knew he would not be able to defeat.

I remember when watching this scene, I couldn’t get myself the answer to one question. The question was: which report did Quaritch refer to? ‘That report from two weeks ago’, but such information wasn’t satisfactory for me. To be honest, this small discovery became the actual reason why I decided to type this study. Let’s assume that this particular report which Quaritch mentioned was the videolog where Jake confessed that Omaticaya wouldn’t leave the Hometree. Here’s why.

The general audience is used to perceiving Quaritch as a cruel short-tempered military man who just waits for the starting pistol’s shot to destroy everything in sight. Again, nothing is wrong about this, the fact that his character was simply meant to be a generic personification of such type doesn’t leave us with any alternative impression of him. Let’s say, if he was given the order to ignite the operation of the Hometree’s destruction to screw the tribe out of the site, he would absolutely go for it (and so he does). He’s a man of his word after all. Let’s also say, if he was pissed off by Jake’s betrayal, he would transport himself to the mountain site in a blink of an eye, turn off the link and put Jake in jail right after the talk in the hall. Instead, Quaritch decided to wait and give Jake the last chance. Jake preffered unearthly wings to those more tangible, so Quaritch chose not to cut them so abruptly.

We’re moving to the next scene, taking place right before a toned down fight between Tsu’Tey and Jake (I’m saying so, because it’s actually one of the deleted scenes that got edited out of the final cut, and believe me, the pressure between two rivals there is way too intense). Quaritch is watching the record of Jake destroying bulldozer’s lenses with a stone. After that Jake’s face is zoomed and we watch Selfridge get frustrated, Quaritch looks pretty annoyed as well but doesn’t seem to be much surprised. What he’s feeling, is bitter disappointment in himself and knowing that he totally failed to persuade Jake to change his mind.

Just observe Stephen Lang’s performance here. He absolutely nails cold-eyed look, the fire burning slow inside of him is so palpable, and guess what, in a flash he flies off the handle.

Now, shall we check the ultimate scene, preceding the destruction of the Hometree. Though Grace versus Parker juxtaposition is central to this scene, the last time Quaritch confronting Jake face to face in his human body is essential to consider for making things clear.

When it comes to revealing to Selfridge the vainness of further negotiations with Omaticaya, isn’t it just interesting how fast Quaritch manages to find the correct videolog? It literally takes him not more than a couple of swipes to produce the proof. Here is why: he’s already watched the record and is completely aware of the Jake’s values having deteriorated.

You can tell, Jake knew he was under control, but he would rather like to ingnore this fact. His pathetic glance at Quaritch, who’s almost impending above his head, causes to think Jake would guess that Colonel could have watched this videolog. Rather, it was a mutual secret between the two of them until a turning point. But the moment of truth came, and Jake didn’t change his mind. Quaritch made sure of that and finally it was his time to triumph.

So how was it even possible to assume Quaritch may have watched the videolog I’ve been talking about for so long? Well, my explanation may be too easy to believe, but still: we can tell by Jake’s appearance and the date of the record that it is the vlog we need.

This telltale videolog was recorded 16 minutes after the another one, when Jake says that he’s uncertain, who he is anymore (LST abbreviation stands for Local Standard Time). Jake might have suddenly felt depressed and hopeless and got back to the camera while being too emotionally instable, and so must have forgotten to delete the final record.

I have one more note for you. If you check the videolog library Quaritch is swiping through, you’ll see that the latest important record, which he actually needs, is made in the interior of the mountain site block and dates back to August, 13. Other recent vlogs’ covers look nothing like Site 26 sequence. Jake may not have done any of these records at the mountain site. I still wonder though where those three or four ensuing videologs were recorded, the location seems to be red lighted, which means it isn’t blue lighting at Site 26. I may even assume he recorded some pieces at Hell’s Gate. Why would I think so? Probably because in those two scenes (dialog with Quaritch and confession at Parker’s office) Jake looks ten times better than before, he gained some weight at least and doesn’t resemble a living sceleton.

Selfridge gave Jake an hour to relocate the tribe, while gunships led by Colonel’s Dragon were already on full alert. Quaritch had no doubt that Jake’s peacekeeping mission would fail. He knew it from the beginning. Hence he sounds so sarcastic seeing Sully’s avatar tied.

Now Quaritch sipping his villain’s morning coffee tasting like fresh genocide doesn’t feel so cringy: he’s celebrating his victory over Jake (still I should agree with critisism on this point, it really is a stupid cliche and wasn’t intended to carry a deep meaning).

Now I should admit, it’s been a long journey to run this investigation and bring it to light by finally posting it. It took me around a day to collect my thoughts and express them by means of more or less readable English. Just would like to make a little side note: English is not my native, so I promise I did my best! Thanks to James Cameron for making a movie, which woke me up in the middle of the night to start reflecting, and to all the fans out there who still exist and remember this movie and so can read this essay. @avatarmovies I found your blog not so long ago and you guys say you enjoy headcanons (and movie reviews probably?..), so it would be nice if you reblogged this but I’m not insisting!!

[nautilusopus]

do you have any favorite books?

Coraline by Neil Gaiman is the obvious answer lol. Still my favourite book to this day, obviously hugely influential in my own bullshit. Seriously check it out if you can find a copy, it’s pretty short and absolutely worth your time.

The Devil’s Storybook by Natalie Babbitt and its sequel (The Devil’s Other Storybook) are more of an anthology of short stories starring the Devil, who occupies every role from vague background presence to put-upon protagonist that are funny and thought-provoking and genuinely clever and that pissed enough people off that it was a banned book for a while. “The Imp in the Basket” is the kind of short story I wish more people knew about and wanted to sincerely discuss what actually happened at the end.

ugh i haven’t read a book i actually enjoyed in over ten years at this point uhhhhhh

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. I think potentially the only classic I had to read in school that I genuinely liked and actually finished in one sitting on my own time. And I think the first time any themes a book had for me actually clicked and I was able to do any kind of meta analysis of it completely unprompted. Baby’s first literary comprehension. Slaughterhouse-Five is a semi-autobiographical piece set during the bombing of Dresden in WWII, and also some period in the “future” (the 80s lol), and ALSO on an alien planet as the protagonist is abducted and taken to a human zoo. The story is told achronologically, and I feel is hugely influential to my own shit where it skips around, building a narrative almost entirely by juxtaposing specific moments in time against one another. It's surreal and thought-provoking, and if you only ever make yourself read one classic, it should be this one. *

Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C. O'Brien. Bear in mind this thing has fuck-all to do with the movie, and while in retrospect I now am able to enjoy the Don Bluth movie as its own thing, I remember being fucking furious when they busted out a goddamn magical amulet. It’s a different kind of story, but is more magic realism than outright fantasy, and the titular rats get a lot more backstory, as does the late Mr. Frisby iirc.

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo. God that book fucked me up. It is about a snotty porcelain toy rabbit that gets dropped overboard a ship into the ocean one day, and the various owners he has over the years as he changes hands, and the impacts they have on him, and it makes me fucking cry every time and is to date the only book to ever do so so fairly warned be ye. Fucking shit I wish I could dish out gut-punches half as good as that book could.

The His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman, which in and of itself is an angry rebuttal against everything the Chronicles of Narnia has to say, as well as Christianity in general. You’ve probably seen shit floating around about the HBO series, which I have not watched. Lyra is a horrible gremlin child running wild around a parallel universe Oxford until she accidentally stumbles onto a conspiracy that goes all the way to the Church which unofficially runs the government and eventually starts an interdimensional war against God. The first two books I think are better than the last one, which really drags in spots (and in a twist of irony had Lyra’s sexual awakening censored from the North American release which like... come on man). Absolutely worth checking out though, especially if you’re an angry pedant like I am.

Tales from the House of Bunnicula, by James Howe. Honestly the entire "Bunnicula Expanded Universe"(???) is great, but in particular I'm mentioning this sub-series because I think it actually kind of taught me to write. The framing device used is that they're being written by Howe's pet dog and sent in to him to publish by proxy. On top of having just a lot of good storytelling tips for beginners (how to create a plot! how to create character motivations! how to write female characters like actual people!), they're also fun little satire pieces of various kinds of genre fiction. Like, the third book is a riff on Harry Potter and making fun of all of JKR's worst writing tendencies, like her compulsion to phonetically write out everyone's fucking accent.

these days i'm just too picky to enjoy books anymore idfk. you have no idea how fucking disheartening it was growing up with actual taste (snooty snooty snoot) and watching everyone go nuts over stuff like divergent and eragon and maximum ride and fuckmothering twilight and shit. like, yeah misogyny absolutely played into why people shat on it because teenage girls aren't allowed to like anything, but lest we forget they were still shitty books guys. that never stopped being true or anything. and you were a social pariah if you didn't like them and that sucked. and then a couple ostensibly good series, like harry potter and artemis fowl and hunger games just dropped the fucking ball for one reason or another as they went on and never picked it back up. i think the mid 2000s almost singlehandedly just killed any real enthusiasm i had for reading altogether (this is not even getting into the fact a lot of really fucking bad "grown-up" novels came out around that period too. whole era was a baaaad time for books). so here i am writing, i guess, because i've decided you fuckers can't be trusted to make anything good yourselves. if you want something done right...

(*I like to think if Cloud wrote a book he’d write something like Slaughterhouse-Five. I think at one point I was even working on a fic along those lines -- a fictional story vaguely based off the burning of Nibelheim and the fall of Shinra that was written, in-universe, by Cloud several years later. Abandoned it just because of how fucking complicated it would be to do. Might come back to it one day.)

[agentnico]

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) Review

Why specifically 1984? Why not 83 or 85? What is so significant about 1984? 83 had Ronald Reagan propose development of tech that would intercept enemy missiles, and the project was called “Star Wars”. In 85 there was an earthquake in Mexico that killed 9,000 and Coca Cola made a new Coke! Impressive stuff! What happened in 1984? *another quick Google check* Aids break out. Oh. Oh no.

Plot: Diana Prince lives quietly among mortals in the vibrant, sleek 1980s - an era of excess driven by the pursuit of having it all. Though she's come into her full powers, she maintains a low profile by curating ancient artefacts, and only performing heroic acts incognito. But soon, Diana will have to muster all of her strength, wisdom and courage as she finds herself squaring off against Maxwell Lord and the Cheetah, a villainess who possesses superhuman strength and agility.

After many delays due to COVID once again doing a COVID and messing things up, Warner Bros. finally released Wonder Woman 1984, due to concerns of audiences losing interest in the project. I remember enjoying the first Wonder Woman years ago, and though it didn’t reinvent the superhero genre, as an origin story is was watchable and there were a couple cool action set pieces, such as the notable trench sequence where Diana fights through No Man’s Land and literally all that’s missing is her screeching “GIRL POWER!” everytime she deflected a gun bullet! Anyway, nothing ground-breaking but a decent piece of entertainment. Now we have sequel set in the 80s that plans to go bigger, bolder, grander.....well, you know, the usual sequel stuff. And they have the Mandalorian himself along for the ride, because even Warner Bros. knows that this is the way.

Having watched the film I must say, it is disappointing. Though in reality is it really disappointing? Personally I had hardly any expectations anyway, so it’s not as if my hopes and dreams have been crunched and shattered and thrown into a pit of despair! Wow, that came off as if I am super in denial, which I am not, I promise, okay?? In all seriousness though, the movie is a mess. With a runtime of two and a half hours, the film is filled with pacing issues so much so that I can say I was bored 50% of the time. A lot of it doesn’t make sense, the editing is atrocious and also this baby is filled to the brim with plot holes! So. Many. Plot Holes. For example, right from the start, one of the opening scenes involves Wonder Woman stopping a robbery at a mall. The robbery in itself is botched up. "I'm not going back!" screams one of the criminals, so hey, I'm going to hold this kid over the railing and almost drop her so that I can go to jail for murder. Genius writing there. Anyway, so Diana swoops in, saves the kid obviously, then proceeds to destroy the cameras in the mall as if that will also magically erase the footage that has already been recorded as well as all the witnesses that have seen her show off her bongo-bongo power mojo. So she’s trying to hide her identity and existence a secret, and apparently has been doing so for years, yet all her heroic moments happen in the middle of the public’s eye, so there is no way that she could have stayed confidential all this time. Then again, Superman can put on a pair of cheap glasses and all of a sudden he’s this random fella named Clark Kent, so what do I know? My guess is that the human population in the DC world are stupid and aren’t capable of adding 2 plus 2! Right, onto the next plot hole. So throughout most of the film, it feels like the movie is set in autumn or something along those lines. One of the characters gives food to a homeless person and tells them to stay warm, and also many people passing by are wearing coats and furs. Suddenly at one point there is a firework display and Diana winks to the camera and says “oh look, it’s the Fourth of July!” I’m sorry, last time I checked that date is set in the summer. Why would I know this? Well maybe cause it happens to also be my birthday! Next! So Diana can fly in this movie. How? Or why? I don’t know! Because “GIRL POWER!” I guess? I don’t know, this new superpower comes out of nowhere, yet its not referred to at all in Justice League, which is set many years later. So yeah, sounds like director Patty Jenkins couldn’t give a single flying dollop of poop about continuity. Speaking of random decisions, Wonder Woman’s new golden armor serves absolutely no purpose at the end of the film. She decides to randomly use it one point for no particular reason, and in fact it slowed her down more than anything, after which it was all forgotten about. Look, I can go on forever, this movie is filled with disorganised and erratic plot decisions and it makes zero to no sense!

Visually this film is disappointing too. Taking into account that this is a big budget film from one of the biggest film studios, the special effects in this film are atrocious. The green screen is so obvious and the CGI sets are clearly fake. Diana spends a lot of the film doing jumps and then floating in a very peculiar way in the sky, and it looks laughably bad. Even the 80′s setting doesn’t feel quite right. Yes, the costumes are somewhat okay, but the atmosphere is off and it seems the director’s opinion of the 80s is that everyone needs to act like a caricature.

Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman is okay. Look, Gadot seems like a very lovely and earnest person in real life, and her face is indeed very likeable, but I still haven’t seen her give a good performance. It’s the typical pretty Hollywood face, and you can tell she’s trying her hardest, but I can never properly buy her as this female superhero pop culture icon. Chris Pine returns even though he died in the first one. Look, the way he’s brought back is a bit strange, however I did actually like seeing Pine in the movie, as he was one of the best parts of the first film, and he brings that same charm and charisma in this one, now with the added factor of being the fish out of water. And to be honest, his presence actually does provide the movie with some needed emotional heft, as it explores the ideas of having to get over someone you’ve lost and learning to accept it and move on. In terms of villains, there are two in this movie. Kristin Wiig as Cheetah feels very shoehorned in and is mainly there to have Diana fight someone at the end of the film. Kristen Wiig does her part, however the character is written really badly, and her development into becoming a villain comes off as rushed and cheap. On the other hand Pedro Pascal as Maxwell Lord is actually not bad. He’s not the typical superpowered baddie, he’s actually a normal human being, and even though, again, there are some inconsistencies with his character, Pascal brings enough swagger and panache to the role. And I’m sure he actually enjoyed playing a role where you can actually see his face.

As a whole, Wonder Woman 1984 is a mess. There are some good moments, but generally this is a very disjointed movie that doesn’t make sense and is extremely chaotic. Also, the entire thing is really boring. I’d say if you want more of an organised and wholesome movie, check out Disney Pixar’s new animation Soul! Or The Mandalorian with Pedro Pascal, as indeed... this is the way.

Overall score: 3/10

[reginaofdoctorwho]

weird shit that would probably have something to do with me in a horror movie

no one wanted this but i’m bored and found a bottle so you’re all getting it. yes these are all true. check the tags, if u think i’ve missed something please let me know!

there was a murder (technically, i don’t really count it as a murder) next door when i was four years old on christmas morning

the weird antique glass bottle i found half-buried in the woods in the woods yesterday with living bugs in it that made no attempt to leave it once i uncovered it

there is a local cult in the next town over. this is not the same as the local cult that was in the other town over where my mom grew up

random completed animal skeletons in the woods behind our house, i’m talking prey and predator, both laid out like in a goddamn scientific diagram. for a while there’d be ones in the middle of our yard, always the same type of animal, always just the bones and nothing else, laid out like it was posed. this has been happening for over half a decade and we have no fucking clue how, why, or who is doing it

the screaming from the woods that i’m going to assume is a fox

my sister almost dated a murderer. his niece or something is in my class

there is a house that is now part of a “local ghost tour” that belonged to my great+ grand parents during the civil war where my great+ aunt died allegedly murdered by her husband who is actually blood related to me. family history says she died of childbirth, which given that it was the 1800s... probably is true

there was an actual murderer in our family a few generations back but he married in and killed his wife and her sister. they didn’t find out about it until they read his journals after he died where it apparently told everything he did and they decided. “well, that wouldn’t look good for the family, and they’re already dead anyway” and just kept it hidden??

the fact we have my great great grandmother’s dress from probably 1890s or 1900s. even more so the fact that i fit in it. if this was fantasy horror (vampires, some immortal thing or ghost) i’d be fucking dead or cursed

fairly certain i was possessed by the ghost of a puritan as a kid

my family seems to have a curse with babies and nurses? my great uncle died when he was born because long story short, hospitals were the new hot thing, he was perfectly healthy, then a nurse dropped him and he died instantly. my sister died when she was a toddler and the hospital actively tried to delete her hospital records to cover it up and ended up getting fined by the state for it. the nurses responsible were not arrested or punished in any way.

my family all has fucked up connective tissue, in my brother it was bad enough he had to get a steel bar in his chest so it wouldn’t cave in.

the many times i have almost drowned, sometimes due to intentional actions by humans (my dad, it was my dad)

this in addition to the other fucked up shit he did before the divorce when he still lived here, including but not limited to: killing my mom’s favorite pet goat, hanging its skull in a tree, and leaving the body in the woods. not letting his kids learn how to cook. anytime someone asked him to cook he’d put as much pepper/hot sauce in as he could (even for like, scrambled eggs) and give it to the youngest person, usually a toddler. this was me at times. taking his kids out to the woods and threatening murder. taking his kids out to the woods and threatening burning. purposely locked the basement from the inside so we couldn’t get the gaping hole in the stairs leading to one of three kids rooms fixed. tearing up pictures of the kids whenever my mom did something he didn’t like. i had more here but i tried to cut it down a litttle

people have threatened to murder me before. one time a girl didn’t threaten, and actually acted like she was starting to like me, but her cousin read her diary or something and found out she was planning to commit a lot of murder, and told her parents and she got sent to a psychiatric ward for a couple weeks

my mom lived down the street from a family that got axe-murdered by one of their two sons when she was a kid. the murderer did get out on an insanity plea and is still in the area. also their neighbor’s mom “lost her mind” (how the story was told) when she had to protect their kids while her husband went over to try to protect the non murderer son when he got home from school and ran over screaming about his brother trying to kill him and had killed their parents

also she knew a girl who almost got kidnapped by this really fucked up traveling serial killer that has his own wikipedia page that is,,, lengthy. the girl had [alleged] mafia ties, and the guy ended up dying shot by police despite them being told to bring him in, which sounds kinda suspicious

long story short i’d probably be the sequel where one comes back

apparently i go to the “bad” school, which i found out in a coffee shop when i overheard two girls talking about how one’s dad went there and how horrible and dangerous it is

school fights are weird. either they don’t happen or they come freakishly close to murder. people slam heads into lockers, stomp on bones, drag people by hair along the ground. one time in my brother’s class a 4′9″ girl sent a 6′2″ football player to the hospital. there was video of a fight a couple years ago that’s still around. it was brutal, but also one of the girls fighting was taking one for the team in it and got the other kicked out

we don’t have a ceiling in all of the third floor, and the cafeteria has 2. this is not relevant in any way, but it’s important to me that you know this

also the guys kept ripping the heating vents/radiators/whatever off the walls in their bathrooms and got almost all the bathrooms locked. including the girls’ ones.

also everyone kept punching holes in the walls so on some of them it’s just,,, metal sheeting down the whole hallway

there are so many fucking shootings in the next town over. literally five years ago it was this nice place where kids would go on history tours, i did when my sister worked for that group. now there is pretty much one business that has not been held up at gunpoint, and if u look up to the serial killer bullet point, it is for v similar ties. it’s a pizza place and if u ever stop by u gotta try it

women in my family have weirdly good intuition but every couple generations we get doubtful. my great grandma didn’t want a hospital birth but decided “hey it’s the hot new thing for a reason”, my mom switched churches based on nothing but intuition and it turned out someone was a pedophile there (found out years later), i instantly could tell my friend’s boyfriend was a pos and wasn’t surprised later when he told her he’d murder and dismember me in front of her, and upon meeting him told him he was a fucking coward and couldn’t do it. he broke up with her a month later.

i was really good friends for a while with two guys that burned a building down. yes they were arrested. i was friends before and after the fire. they’re pretty nice, but this girl they used to date (at different times, they were brothers, yes it was fucking weird and uncomfortable for everyone involved except her but that’s it’s own thing) said some fucked up shit and it was the closest i ever got to starting a fight. anyway i’m still friends with both on facebook. one of them shares a lot of king of the hill memes

speaking of that fight, i 100% would’ve tried to kill her in that moment. u know that john mulaney quote like “i didn’t understand how a person could want to kill another person. then i got cheated on, and i was like ‘oh, okay.’”? that was me, but replace “cheated on” with she told me it was good my five year old sister was dead because she was a waste, and told me she hoped i’d die of covid”. it was mainly the sister thing. i couldn’t move because if i did i’d start a fight with the [way] above mentioned shit.

my family has a literal feud with a local farming family. i mean, we keep farm animals (sheep, goats, chickens), these people have that, pigs, and crops too. the feud was because their great uncle (or great grand uncle, i’m a little fuzzy on the details) published an autobiography (despite not being anyone famous/important) and in it talked about when he was friends with my grandfather and how creepy my great grandfather was (this was the one with the dead firstborn son) because he kept newspaper clippings of the Lindbergh baby’s kidnapping and murder pinned to a board on the wall of his office/basement. also because he was a child of german immigrants who wanted to fight against nazis in WW2 (how suspicious [sarcasm]). members of their family are in my grade. they charged my sister for almost half an extra pound of goods, too, which just revitalized it.

i live by corn fields. i am surrounded by cornfields. (joke one)

i was friends for a while with this girl whose baby teeth,,, didn’t really fall out completely? she was 17 the last time i saw her in person, she’s probably 19 now and judging by her facebook pictures they’re still Like That. she had a very symmetrical mouth/teeth, which made it weirder. just to clarify, she had some of her baby teeth pushed forward and up, so they kind pointed out a little? and all her adult teeth. she was literally so pretty.

a teacher who is v sexual with his female students came into my english class (he is a science teacher) to demand why i wasn’t signed up for his class. we then both became increasingly passive aggressive and he told the whole class where i live with specific directions and landmarks. the guy sitting next to me had to try to tone things down despite being obviously confused as to why it was even happening (me too buddy). he lives down the road from my sister. when my niece had her birthday party at our house i was outside setting things up and he slowed his car down and honked at me. fuckin creep

[nomanwalksalone]

STYLE AND THE DAMME

by Réginald-Jérôme de Mans

Late in his new series Jean-Claude Van Johnson, Jean-Claude Van Damme, in tailored suit and open-collared white shirt, gestures up from his Aston Martin to his secret hideout with the instantly classic setup line, “No one has looked for me here for 20 years.” It’s a Blockbuster Video. As always, Van Damme is “on the run from the law, military or mafia,” but just this once, perfectly on the nose with this quip. And with it, three wildly different cultural icons, Van Damme, the tailored suit and Aston Martin, come into a strange but telling momentary alignment from the vastly different places they were in those 20 years ago.

20 years ago Van Damme was just over the peak of his fame, a coked-up Belgian kickboxing force who was fresh off The Quest, a big-budget, less satisfying remake of Van Damme’s best film, Bloodsport. He was about to star in a film about exploding jeans with the SNL copier guy Rob Schneider. Even better than it sounds, Knock Off knocked Van Damme off his pedestal and into the direct-to-video purgatory in which he’s labored since then. And labor he has, dedicated to actually becoming an actor of range and depth despite none of his audience actually caring. Direct-to-video films generally get ignored. Popularly, we expect them mainly to be watched by fans of fading stars expecting the predictable. It’s poignant, then, that Van Damme turned in a convincing performance in a pastiche of Bad Lieutenant and showed he could telegraph real pathos in John Hyams’ unfathomably good DTV Universal Soldier sequels Universal Soldier: Regeneration and Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning.  

Van Damme didn’t have to expend that effort. Witness the trajectory of his erstwhile rival Steven Seagal, a trajectory of almost cosmological increasing expansion behind yellow-tinted shooting glasses and spray-on-hair, accommodated in dozens of unwatchable movies by screenplays and direction that allow Seagal literally not to move. Seagal’s kept his many-chinned profile up in recent years courting tinpot authoritarians in the United States and Eastern Europe. Unlike Seagal, in recent years Van Damme has gained attention and respect by embracing his own ridiculousness. He played up this self-awareness with surprising comedic and dramatic talent in 2009’s JCVD, a scathing satire of his own dead-end career and broken life. He brings this willingness to both mock and explore himself to Jean-Claude Van Johnson, where he plays a retired actor who is actually a retired spy. Shoots for cheesy movies in Eastern Europe, such as a chop-socky reboot of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (“It’s time to get Hucked”), are just covers to investigate and infiltrate drug gangs, diabolical masterminds, and eventually the rotten entertainment industry itself.

The key to that last mission, taking down the corrupt talent and espionage agency that had used him, is looking the part, 2017 edition. Looking a part means meeting all the clichés, the easy expectations of a role. For that of Erstwhile Movie Star, today it means pulling up to the agency in an Aston Martin in a tailored suit, no tie. It certainly didn’t always. 20 years ago, Aston Martin had nowhere to go but up, or into oblivion. Since then, oblivion has claimed most of the other romantically exotic British car brands like TVR and Bristol. Aston used to mean just Bond films, Bond satires, and bad Bond copies. By the early 1990s, its annual sales had slumped to fewer than 200 cars worldwide and its main model, the Virage, cost $250,000. I’ve only seen one of those ever, late at night in my college town decades ago, looking like something from another world.

Today, thanks to prudent investment and positioning by Ford and Tata, Astons are a shorthand for the showbizzy glitterati of our world, occasionally favoring us with an appearance in our grocery store parking lot or, with motor gunning, running the red light we’d prudently braked for. Hugh Grant bought one after filming About A Boy because his tween co-star thought it would be cool; Isla Fisher drove one playing Ron Howard’s vapid daughter in Arrested Development. Van Damme’s Aston is the same sort of shorthand: predictable, expensive flamboyance to be expected from a has-been with money.

What does this mean for the suit? 20 years ago it was in the wilderness, a wilderness grown out of the backlash to 1980s corporatism, a wilderness so wild that for a few seasons designers were trying to put men in waistcoats, frock coats or Nehru jackets instead of sport coats or suits. Those didn’t take, but for the rest of us casualwear replaced the suit with identikit billowing blue shirts and baggy khakis in business settings, and with jeans, sweats or anything else, really, in other settings. 20 years ago the suit had just barely begun to creep back in certain circles in the United Kingdom as a so-called smart formal outfit for social outings, with a nice shirt but never a tie. It was too soon for that reminder of 1980s correctness. Since that time, Hedi Slimane goosed the “tailored look” with his tight suits, while fashion seized on the financial crises of 2001 and 2008 to push a return to supposedly more serious dressing. In the fashion idiom, the opposite of frivolity is expensive conservatism, ergo the suit. The tie, too, fought its way back up for a couple of years of air, but not in the world of cliché and shorthand, where smart actor of a certain age means nice suit, white shirt (anything else would be too busy) and no tie – no ties to the normal working world.

Today, Van Damme, Aston Martin and the smart suit are in alignment, all in fashion again… for the moment. Whether Aston Martin stays in fashion will depend on its owners and backers keeping technologically modern cars in production and promoting them. As to Van Damme and the suit? It’s just as ironically sad as Van Damme becoming a good actor that the suit, formerly the inescapable classic clothing item, returned only as a fashion item. This means that it can and will be replaced by something else in fashion, like yoga pants for men. Maybe Van Damme, too, is only having a moment as a whimsical nostalgia item like the suit.

But Jean-Claude Van Johnson has a real lesson for us beyond this sentimentality. Although it is about an actor who is actually an international spy, its reality is an actor playing his persona and pretending to find himself. His choices are to hide from the world behind cabinets of Pop Tarts and made-up memories, or to engage with the uncanny and unfair demands of an unfamiliar age. He chooses to engage, despite his heyday being long behind him and the things that he had fought for illusory. Remember that in fact there was no more genteel age of yore, only pasts of different levels of exploitation and oligarchy. The classy actors we now associate with elegance were actors playing parts, both on screen and in public life. No halcyon days await our return. However we adapt to changing times and changing understandings of what is right, ultimately we can best face down challenging times by being ourselves in the moment. Or as Van Damme-from-the-future reminds us, “TimeCops don’t exist.” We cannot change the timestream to fit our illusions. We can only do with what we have: our personality, not our persona, and from time to time, still, a nice suit as both armor and disguise.

Quality content, like quality clothing, ages well. This article first appeared on the No Man blog in 2018.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews! 3-5: Louie’s Eleven!

In my most anticipated ep of this batch, Louie’s Ocean’s Eleven esque heist gets derailed by his own ego and someone pulling a Die Hard while Donald finds love in an elevator living it up when he’s going down with the best Daisy in history. Romantic musical numbers, people being dicks, and suprise returns insure. Hey you kooky beatniks there’s gonna be a heist, tonnnniggghtttt under the cut. 

If the little intro blurb didn’t give it away, i’ve been waiting for this one all season, with the last two being okay but not amazing and a suprise treat respectivley. WIth Daisy debuting, a heist (a genre I love and need to watch more of) and the Cablleros, expectations were high... and met and exceded. Yeah while the show has disapointed me before (The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks, which this episode is somehow a sequel to is the prime example. ) with an episode I was chomping at the bit for this one delivered.  The basic setup is as you’d expect: Donald, now having less parental obligations has gotten the Cablleros back together. It’s something Frank hinted at in the EW interview for this episode: That they wanted to explore just what Donald would do now he could ease up a bit. He’s not alone anymore: He trusts Scrooge again, He has Beakly to educate them and his sister to split parenting duties with and make up for lost time. He’s in a good place and has freedom for the first time in 10 years, almost 11... so what DOES he do with it? Up until now his life has been his kids: Sure his overproection of them and trying to get them away from Scrooge was more him projecting over his issues with Della and his childhood in general, but he still meant well on some level. Their his world, the thing he cares most about, and while the boys can be disprectful it’s been shown multiple times they truly love their adopted dad as much as their newly returned mom and Donald did an outstanding job raising them warts and all. What do you do when your life has been one thing for a good third of it?  It’s why I think him trying to get famous through his music makes a lot of sense: His college days and adventures were a happy time for him: hanging out with his best friends, doing something he truly loved, and doing something normal at the same time. So of course the idea of having them not only presumibly move to the area for this, so he has friends close again, and do something from a time he was truly happy... of course he’d jump on that.  But given our trio consists of a disaster area with horrible planning skills 90% of the time, a boisterous rooster, and a playboy Parrot, their plana mounts to “Go to rich people’s bathrooms and plkay and hope they don’t get thrown out”. Since that failed, Louie, being Louie steps in with a crooked contract (Which Donald relucntantly signs after Panchito has already forged his name) and an elaborate heist on tastemaker Emma Glamour’s annual party with the help of his 11: Louie himself, Dewey (More on him in a minute), one of the background characters, the cabs, webby, Huey (whose suprised to find out he just did a forgery), Gyro (who is TOTALLY not in just to test out his new headsets which TOTALLY don’t make your head go pop if you wear them too long) and Manny as his trump card.  But naturally this being a heist pastiche, things go wrong from the start: Turns out Glamour beefed up security with an old familiar face: Falcon Graves, who you may remember from infernal internship and was freaking awesome and kinda hot. He’s back, and Dewey’s understandably afraid of Graves spotting him given last time they met Dewey threw him off a roof.  Things naturally snowball from there: An attempt to have Donald grab a stage pass from Glamour’s assitant, Daisy, aka the reason everyone anticipated this episode so much including me, goes sideways because well Donald and he gets trapped in the elevator with her strapped together. Oh and she finds out he’s a party crasher here for his own plans. Great first meeting.  Meanwhile Jose and Panchito fail to get past the rest of security, Louie continues to undervalue Dewey and fails to schmooze Glamour, and oh yeah: Graves was pulling a Die Hard the entire time in a really nice twist I didn’t see coming. Graves brings in some familiar hired goons: The smashnikovs and Gabby McStabberson from the pilot, back again if in a minor role. The night is full of many happy returns, but we’ll get to the last suprise guest in a second. Meanwhile Donald bonds with Daisy as both feel ignored: Daisy is revealed to, in line with her charcter in general, be a budding fashion designer who wants her dress, the stunning green number that’s been circulating around, to get on the list and hoped by showing it to Glamour at the party and helping plan it, she’d throw her a bone. I REALLY like Daisy’s character here a LOT. She has Daisy’s empathy, love of fashion, with some added ambition and combat prowess, more on that in a second, while still being willing to call someone out if she has to, and even when she does so to Donald it is after she finds out he was gatecrashing her one shot at getting ahead in her dream career, calming down when she gets an understanding of his reasons and just how lonely he truly feels. Frank scraped together every good part of every version of daisy and left her old, horribly outdated and sexist “nagging girlfriend/wife from every sitcom that came decades after this character was created” characterization used at times dead and buried.  Speaking of Donald, the musical number was utterly beautiful, the clear highlight of the episode and wonderfully romantic, while also heartbreaking: and Donald not being listend to DOES really tie into his character for me: no one really has: Della and Scrooge flat out ignored his concerns about space travel, while the boys love him they will, with Huey being the outlier, ignore or dispresct him frequently. And even his two best friends bicker over their own directions for the bands while ignoring him up to the end, something I DO wish had gotten more focus, as do I wish the cabs had gotten just a touch more in general as their mostly off to the side. That being said I like this: besides being somewhat meta given donald’s spare use in season 1 and being only in about half of season 2, I like this: It shows that while he appears to take his family ignroing waht he wants constantly in stride inside he jsut wants SOMEONE to care about what he wants and needs, genuinely care. I mean “The Golden Spear” did show they TRY at times, with the cruise being an especially nice gesture, but most of the time they generally don’t think about donald when planning family outings or what not, it’s just one adventure after another with him left in the dust or fearing for his life. He’s a great adventuer, truly legendary.. but he dosen’t LIKE adventuering. He just wants someone who cares about what he wants.. and he’s found it in someone looking for the same and seeing not someone they love but don’t respect.. but a sweet kind man who just wants for someone to respect what he wants and genuinelyw ork at doing that. And he got it.  Before we get to the climax the other main plot, since both plots share equal time this ep really and are really just two halfs of the same main plot, the Dewey and Louie plot is a bit weaker. It’s not BAD but it is predictable, though it was nice to see Louie be the control freak and it makes sense: hustling what he’s good at so of course he wants to see his plan go through and get the glory... but he fails to be actually GOOD at heisting whicha lso makes sense: Louie’s good at manipulationa nd seeing angles.. but he’s so caught up in his own scheme, he can’t see them and is blind to the value of his own brother. While Deweey can be massively unehlpful and attention whorish, he does have a genuine knowledge of the partya nd Glamour that woudl’ve made things go faster, and it does fit his character enough not to be jaring and the ending of it, with Dewey providing a critical distraction AND getting on the list himself, whlie Louie saves his eleven and a huge fight with them, and daisy who proves every bit as badass and prone to bersekerr rages as her man, that’s a treat to see, is predictable, though the bit of Louie giving Dewey a new heist plan with his brother included and admitting he was wrong wa nice. It’s not bad, it just pales in comaprison to the donsy plot right next to it that’s so much fresher and more intersting.  However while the main brother conflict is mostly passable, the rest of the heist is wells et up and the ep as a whole shot up from good to great witht he climax, starting with a big, wonderful, and fucking hilarous reveal: Graves was after Glamour’s phone, which acesses her website and sold it off to the highest bidder.. and the second we find out that was his plan, it becomes obvious just whose coming back: Beaksy is back, to graves utter horror after the fiasco from last time, as he wants on the list. And while the minute graves mentioned he was selling off Emma’s phone I could tell Beaks was about to make his way in, the show did throw me a genuine , wonderful curveball: Emma is beaks mother. Given his mom is a cold and distant assholish tastemaker and “Coach Dad” apparently mocked his unatheltic son, it explains.. pretty much everything really. Graves is mortified and eventually just plans to say screw it and kill both for annoying him, another bit I like as it shows even a consumate professional can get fed up with the beaks family, understandably their Duckberg’s version of the Sapperstiens at this point, but Emma is saved by Daisy, who after Graves whaleson donald, returns the favor and beats the shit out of him. It twas glorious.  So things wrap up: everyone’s new faviorite couple takes turns telling Emma off who actually concedes to Daisy telling her someone needed to stand up to her, and puts her dress ont he list, graves is arressed by Detective Cabrera (to my utter delight, one last nice suprise) and the boys play their number.. they don’t get on the list because donald can’t sing, but Daisy is smitten and Donald likewise. Also beaks is squatted next to his mom whining like a petulant child because of course he is. All in all a great ending As you could tell I loved this ep. While again the main dewey and louie conflict was just kinda stock and predictable, the amount of energy and heart in the rest of the episode easily overrides it, and I was delighted both to see Graves come back and to see beaks suprise appearnce tying him to both of the episodes antagonists. Overall a well plotted fun romp despite it’s flaws and one of the highlights so far. An instant classic. As for where it ranks... 1. Quack Pack 2. Louie’s Eleven 3. Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks! 4. The Lost Harp of MIrvana! 6. Double O Duck . HOpe you liked the review and if there’s any other episode from the first two seasons of the reboot or from the original, or from the disney afternoon or the animated marvel canon, just throw me a message or an ask. Later days.  Stray thoughts; 1. Huey’s bit was gold and I feel for the poor boy.  2. I was mildly disapointed the eleven mostly included exactly who you thought and Manny when we have a rather large supporitng cast to pull from. 

[smilepal]

👹🍊 🏀 🐟 ❤ :3c

Character ask meme for @billlybutcher ☺️

👹--How does you OC act around different people and how does their personality change to match the environment they’re in? How do they act with: friends, family, strangers, children or their lover(s)?

Hiro's personality/how he comes off is very dependent on who he's around. He takes pride in being adaptable to most situations, and being able to keep up a mask, or have people perceive him a certain way. It's easy to act--put on a show, let people see what you want them to see. This, in combination with a lack of fear, and the ability to be charming, at least with his mouth shut--has allowed him to bullshit his way out of situations he maybe shouldn't have been able to. If it seems like you're supposed to be there, and you know what you're doing, you can usually get away with quite a bit? He's quick to put on a front around strangers, depending on what he wants from them. Clients will usually perceive him as someone who's there to get the job done, quickly and without a whole lot of bullshit. He's to the point, often to the extent of being a bit abrupt/and wants to get the whole ordeal over with so he can get paid. If he wants something/is off-work though, he can be pretty charming--especially in the right context/if someone's caught his eye. He's still pretty direct in that regard, albeit less abrasive. He still has a mouth on him though, and that never changes much.

With friends he tends to let his guard down a bit, if they're very close to him--and with family as well. He still holds back a bit though, and it's something he still struggles with sometimes even if he has gotten better over time. Close friends/family are treated to a rare glimpse of a softer side, one that is strangely sentimental, and remembers the tiny details about people--a favorite flower, or song they like--stuff that makes them happy. He's a little hesitant around children, and honestly they scare him a bit. They're small, and have so much energy, and are just all over the place and he's the one to look back at their guardians for help. Despite this, he tries to be nice to them and makes a genuine effort not to seem too scary, and just hopes that none of them think he makes a good role model--something he hasn't been entirely successful with. With his lovers/people who've managed to get beyond the initial instinct to keep people at a distance (at least emotionally) he's a very dedicated, loyal partner. He might not always know how to convey something verbally, or get tripped up and have it come out less gracefully than he'd like, but he's not afraid to show affection through actions and gestures, and is always trying to find new ways to do so--whether that's spending quality time with them, or finding out how to cook their favorite meal for them.

🍊--Does your OC have any triggers? Why do these things trigger them? What are they like when triggered and how do they calm down after?

Hiro has a couple, not that he'd ever be forthcoming about that to others, or honestly, to himself. He's very reliant on his senses, and being deprived of any of them is something that deeply unsettles him/can push him into a spiral if it goes too far--the sense of being unmoored or untethered is enough to make him panic, especially if it's deliberate. He...doesn't do great with feeling helpless, and being cut off from his senses just amplifies that. Even in day-to-day life, he doesn't like complete silence. Being alone with his thoughts is something he genuinely tries to avoid, and dead silence exacerbates it. He tries to maintain at least some small level of background noise--usually the bustle of Night City/ambient sounds are enough, but if he's at home or driving, he likes to have the radio on in the background or music playing quietly.

In general, Hiro rarely lets his guard down, always keeping an eye out, both for his own safety and for others--and if someone manages to take him by surprise, even if it's on accident, he usually doesn't respond great. At the very best, he's fairly defensive or prickly/and if they're not someone he cares about maintaining a relationship with/if was done maliciously there could be a fight. His fight or flight response is strong, and it's just determined by how much he values a relationship. If there's a way out, he'll take it rather than risk an argument, but if pushed far enough, he'd snap at someone, loved one or not. That would usually take deliberate goading on their part though--usually by prying into his business more closely than he'd like or trying to get answers out of him he isn't comfortable giving.

Hiro takes a while to calm down/wind himself down after. He responds pretty strongly, and tries to remove himself from the situation as fast as possible. Typically if it’s really bad, he’s not going to want to talk about it and might just disappear for a bit—he’ll either get on his bike and go for a ride, or go clubbing/dancing. If it’s bad, and he feels like he can’t be around people, he might go spar with a training bag, and try to get some of his agitation out that way. Most of his coping skills are typically very physical—and all things considered, usually fairly healthy outlets. He tries to wear himself out enough that he doesn’t have to think very hard, or just surround himself with so much noise/stimulation he literally can’t focus on anything else.

🏀--Does your OC have any skills that people wouldn’t expect them to have? Do they have a hobby or pass time that others would consider strange or weird? How did they learn this particular skill or pick up this hobby?

Hiro is a surprisingly talented baker. He obviously never had much time for it before he left the Tyger Claws, or the opportunity to do something he’d consider so frivolous, but he picked it up from Mama Welles after he met Jackie. For the fact that he’s still pretty nervous cooking, he’s actually a decent baker, and enjoys how much he can tune everything else out while he’s doing it. He rarely bakes for himself, seeing it as something that isn’t necessarily worth the cost of supplies/the time commitment, but if there was even an inkling that someone else would appreciate it—they’d be quick to find some sort of homemade treat waiting for them when they least expect it—and as he’d be quick to point out—he looks damn cute in an apron. Most of his hobbies are pretty normal—dancing, boxing, rock climbing, and usually fairly physical. He’s been dancing for a long time, but the boxing he picked up from Jackie/Viktor, and the rock climbing from Victory. He also loves to race bikes and this is a definitely a hold-over from his TC days. It’s not necessarily a weird hobby, but people usually don’t expect him to like clothing/shopping as much as he does—and it’s usually where a lot of his extra income disappears to (well that and expensive stuff for his hair.)

🐟--What was your OC like as a baby? What were they like as a child? A teenager? An adult? How do you think they’ll develop ten years into their future? Twenty years? Will they live to old age?

Hiro was a really quiet child—and desperate for any sort of guidance/attention. His role models growing up weren’t good ones, and they definitely used this as an opportunity to manipulate him. He was very approval-seeking, and would take that wherever he could find it, even if meant trusting people he probably shouldn’t have. Granted, he didn’t know much better, but the lesson stuck with him, and it left him a much warier adult. Hiro was a god-awful shit as a teenager. He was still in the Tyger Claws at the time, and there was a lot of repressed anger/trauma there with almost zero outlets. There are a few relationships he maintains from before he cut ties with TC, but they are few and far between, Judy and Viktor being the biggest ones—and even those went through rocky periods.

Ten years into the future, it really depends if he can stay clear of the gangs or not. The likelihood of him allying himself with a corporation is slim to none, but enough bad choices/impulsive decisions might still lead him down a not-so-good path. Twenty years—he’d either be the healthiest he’s ever been, with strong relationships with others, and a circle of people he’s truly grown to trust, or what he absolutely used to dread/fear becoming. It all depends on whether he puts personal relationships/growth over what’s easier for him/seems to come a little too easily, and lets himself get consumed by the darker side of Night City. Regardless, he’d probably survive to old age—honestly out of sheer spite. He’s always been driven by survival/keeping himself alive, and would honestly do so even if only to outlive his enemies. Even into older age though, he’d still try to keep himself sharp. Whatever the case, the likelihood of a peaceful retirement somewhere seems far-fetched. He’d still manage to find his way into the middle of things, even if only unintentionally.

❤️--What inspired you to make this OC? How long have you had them? How have they changed in the time you’ve been developing them?

Oh boy, I’ll try not to get too long-winded with this. Hiro started as an OC for an unnamed futuristic story—probably about two-ish years ago? I’d just seen Bladerunner (as well as the more recent sequel) for the first time, and I’d never gotten too deeply into the genre before. But I realized I wanted to create a character that would fit into one one these universes—someone scrappy, a survivor at heart, and who wasn’t afraid to risk his own safety for his found family. He didn’t have a lot of depth when I first created him (although the name stuck—he was always Hiro, and it never felt right changing it). He initially was a lot less sympathetic, and honestly—even aggravated me a bit. I tried to create a character that was a little more balanced, and someone who had flaws but wasn’t completely unlikeable, and who’s impulsive actions led to actual, lasting consequences. His initial character (even before I fit him into the CP universe) began as a sort of android, who could almost, but not quite pass as human. He still has fairly extensive cybernetics, and relies on them heavily, but not as much as he had previously.

Even when I was first developing him as a Cyberpunk OC, he was more focused on guns/ranged weapons/stealth. It was only after playing cyberpunk, that my play-style began to influence his character and he became much more strength/melee based. And honestly? I’m really happy he did. He’s not my usual type of character, at least in that regard and it’s been fun leaning into it—and making him this character who’d rather punch first and think later. (Also not at all influenced by the fact that I’m impatient as hell and net hacking/stealth just takes so long.) He developed along-side Vic, and her character really helped me to realize how Hiro would interact with other characters—especially ones who have such different backstories/upbringing, and the process of creating him, and being able to bounce ideas off someone else (“hey wouldn’t it be cool if this happened?”) was a huge part in inspiring me, and was so helpful, having someone to respond to that character and provide their own feedback (and vice-versa). Also honestly, Hiro was created after a long period of me not being super creative/artistically motivated. It was the middle of COVID and I was so fucking bored, and not doing much outside of work and classes. So he was an amazing creative outlet for me—helped to get me to start writing again, and eventually led me to tumblr/discord and a lot of really fantastic people, and the sort of community I’d needed.

Wow, uh sorry this got so long. But man, thanks for asking--was really, really fun 😍💖

[vintagevalentinex]

Capture, i

So I have been missing Mycroft something fierce.  So I had a loose idea on writing a sequel to Decode.

I can’t promise how many chapters this series will be, or when I will update it, but I hope you’re as excited about it as I am.

Please, as always, let me know what you think! xoxo

Capture, i by vintagevalentinexx Mycroft Holmes x Reader ~1550 words

How fast a year and a half goes by when one is truly in love.

You could not believe it had been that long since Mycroft Holmes, the man who was currently snoozing in for once, stopped a commercial flight, just to proclaim his love to you. It had also been a year and a half since the elaborate coded messages, the stalking, the kidnapping.  It all seemed like such a long time ago already. This new life that you were building with Mycroft seemed as though it were almost too good to be true, and there was always an inkling, a pricking at the back of your mind that the other shoe would drop soon enough.  You always seemed to be able to push those anxieties aside when you looked at him, however.

And just looking at him now.

You could hear his soft breathing as he slept, his hair slightly mussed from shifting amongst the pillows.  He was a picture of utter relaxation, and that seemed to calm your nerves as well. A slow smile seemed to make its way to your lips as you thought of last night’s activities.

You let out a soft sigh, back arched as he hovered over you, the look in his eyes hungry, needing.  Mycroft had come home early, which was something that very rarely happened, and he made it a point to let you know that he wanted to spend every waking moment with you while he had the time off.  He took his time with you, slowly, your skin burning as you felt him kiss you everywhere, no part of your skin untouched.  His lips pressed into your skin promises of love and dedication. All you could do was lie there, and he was quite happy to accommodate you, taking the lead, hands laced together as he joined the both of you together for the first time that night, his head tucked into the crook of your neck.

Needless to say it was a very long night.

As if he could read your thoughts, Mycroft finally shifted, his eyes opening groggily, sleep-filled orbs staring back at you.

“Are you quite through with gawking at me so openly?”

“Good morning to you as well, my darling.”

“Is there any particular reason as to why you are staring?”

You shrugged, smiling warmly at him.  “Just admiring the view.”

He rolled his eyes, but there was no heat within them.  Stretching, he shifted over onto his side.

“It’s been ages since I’ve been able to sleep in.  I daresay I could get used to it.”

You shot him a look, shaking your head.  “We both know that you would last about a week before getting into all kinds of trouble.”

Mycroft’s lips quirked upward, a hand sliding over to you, running along your side.

“Perhaps I need a little trouble in my life.”

“You most definitely do not.”

Without warning, you felt yourself being pulled toward him, your front against his, lips soon crashing against yours sloppily.  You could feel him smiling against your lips as you tried to wiggle away from him.

“Are you quite sure?”

“…perhaps a little trouble wouldn’t be so bad.”

It was not until much later that the both of you finally decided to get out of bed.  It was rather lovely weather at the country house, so it was decided that an afternoon drive would be suitable.  It was nice to feel the sun on your skin, something that was not always a sure thing in England, so it was nice to be able to take advantage of the warmth it provided.

Mycroft decided that an afternoon picnic would be pleasant, and you could not help but agree. You couldn’t recall the last time you were able to spend this much time today.  A single day seemed like ages, considering he was always at the office or off to negotiate with another country to prevent World War III.  As much as Mycroft wanted to spoil you, and generally he did no matter how much you protested, the best gift he could every give you was his time, considering you knew how limited it truly was.  

Ushered into the country car, seated side-by-side, it was nice to finally just be alone with him, no bodyguards, no personal assistants, and most importantly, no curly-haired bastard.

It wasn’t a long drive until he found a nice clearing to set up a picnic.  Basket in tow, which he refused to let you carry, you followed him, being admonished every time you tried to help, leaving you standing there, huffing.  Mycroft finally turned around, opening his arms to you, as he was met with your miffed expression.

“Are you going to look at me sourly all day then?”

“I haven’t yet decided.”

Mycroft rolled his eyes, extending his arm to you to help you sit on the blanket he laid out, smirk growing on his lips as you reluctantly accept his help.  

You had no idea how long you had been sitting outside with him, nibbling on sandwiches and cheese, and sipping wine.  You were currently feeding Mycroft grapes, his head in your lap.  You’d giggle as he tried to nip at your fingers, and you wondered when you became this person, became this couple.  It seemed so utterly domestic, and yet you were enjoying every single minute of it, no matter how mundane it seemed.  He spoke, breaking the spell.

“Did you ever imagine your life would be like this?”

You brushed the back of your hand along his cheekbone.  “Honestly?  No. Never in a million years would I ever picture myself like this.”

He hummed, slowly making his way up, seating himself next to you.  He looked out to the sky, the sun beginning to set, a mixture of reds, oranges, and purples that would put Monet to shame.  Turning to you, he collected his thoughts before speaking.

“I can quite honestly say the same for myself.  I never thought that this was a part of the plan for me.  I thought I would live alone, and commit all of myself to the Crown, to my country.  However…all of that changed when I met you, (Y/N).”

You didn’t know what to say.  Such a confession was so very rare for him, you supposed it was the beautiful sunset that was making him so very mushy.

He cleared his throat. “What I suppose I’m trying to say is, (Y/N), I—“

“THERE you are brother! I’ve been looking all over for you. I should have known you were off somewhere…eating.  Oh (Y/N) you’re here as well…I can’t believe you’re still around…”

The look Mycroft was giving Sherlock was one that you swore was saved for only the worst convicted felons in the country.  You groaned as he rattled on about how he came to track the both of you down, rubbing at your temples.

“Can you not even give us a moment’s peace?  For crying out loud Sherlock!”

You stomped toward the car, mood instantly ruined.  You were hoping that some brandy back at the house would lighten the mood, but for now the more distance you could put between yourself and Sherlock, the better.  You watched as Mycroft angrily packed up the picnic, standing at full height to talk to Sherlock, though you didn’t know what they were saying.

“You can’t do it.”

“What are you going on about now?”

“You cannot marry her. Think about it, brother.  Saddling that poor woman to you…forever?”

“I do not see how any of this is your business, Sherlock.”

“If she is to be my sister-in-law it certainly is my business.  I bet you didn’t even tell mother yet.”

“I have no reason to believe that she would disapprove.  It shall be quite the opposite.”

“You’re making a mistake.”

“If you as so much mention any of this to her, or anyone else, I will send you so far away that no one will know what happened to you.  Now leave.”

Sherlock shrugged. “Fine.  Have it your way, brother dear.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

He walked back up to the road, where a speeding car came to a screeching halt.

“Damn it Sherlock!  This isn’t a case!  Why did you drag me all the way out here and then leave?!”

“Oh look, my ride’s here.  Hello John…”

You rolled your eyes as you watched them leave, John looking absolutely aggravated with yet another one of Sherlock’s antics.  You jumped as you heard the car door open, Mycroft smirking down at you.

“You really must be more observant.”

“Don’t need to, that’s what I have you for.”

He rolled his eyes, slipping his hand into yours as he drove the both of you back to the house.

“Why can’t you just leave them alone, Sherlock?  They seem to be doing just fine without your intervention…actually when you mind your own business most people seem to do quite well, great even.”

Sherlock hummed, turning to John with the glint in his eye that meant that he was about to cause trouble…on a grand scale.

“I believe I have a new case John.  And it is a priority.”

Next Part!!