#and in case it needs to be said for the people that will inevitably twist these words

[bravetemptation]

There are far too many people in this world, especially on social media, who see everything in black and white. Any action someone takes in any given situation is put into the “good” and “bad” categories. The lack of nuance in every conversation I see sends me right into the absolute all consuming rage that has peppered my emotional state this past week.

Not a single person in this world is perfect. Those who try to act like a mistake or two ruins you for life, that you can’t learn from them and make up for them, have probably made more mistakes than most, and for some reason want to exact some moral superiority over others by pretending they’re perfect. If someone has been a good and kind person for most of their life and they slip up, or they spend time with the wrong people, or they struggle with a disease that can alter their perception of reality and cause them to do things completely out of their nature, it’s like every kind thing they’ve ever done is automatically canceled out by that one thing.

Life doesn’t work like that.

You would never ever say that someone who has only done bad things their entire life and suddenly has one moment of clarity, one second where they make the right choice instead of the wrong, is absolved of all the poor choices they made. So why would it be any different the other way around?

The thing is that you should WANT people to have the opportunity to correct the wrong they’ve done and the harm they’ve caused. You should WANT them to educate themselves, get clean, or whatever they need to do to get to a better place than they were. You should WANT THAT. Instead, you take more pleasure in tearing someone down at their most vulnerable moment, and all that does is result in more people believing that they don’t have any other choice but to keep being the bad person everyone says they are.

If they say it enough, it must be true, right?

There is a fine line between holding someone accountable for bad choices they’ve made and bullying and defaming them, and a majority of things said under the guise of “holding them accountable” cross that line.

I hope this whole situation has given people pause. I hope that people learn to be more conscious about the way they speak about others in online spaces. I hope that more energy is directed to getting people help instead of waiting for the next “gotcha” moment to continue their vitriol. I hope people learn that seeing someone grow and change and make amends is far superior to the momentary thrill they get by saying some nasty shit online.

[leclercsredhelmet]

New in Monaco ♡‧ Charles Leclerc

A/N: Hi again! I was inspired by the Florida Logan blurb and decided to write a Charles one after listening to down bad. It’s a little longer than the previous blurb but I hope you enjoy reading it!

“Now I’m down bad”

The combination of the bright sun warming your shoulders, the sights, and the people made you smile as you walked around Monte Carlo. Landing a work opportunity here was feeling like a great idea, you truly couldn’t be happier. A camera was around your neck and you took pictures of everything that caught your attention. Instead of continuing to unpack you had decided to take a break and do some sightseeing before getting some food. Totally in awe of the sights you were not fully aware of your surroundings. As you headed towards the casino you bumped into someone. The person steadied you and you let out a light laugh. “Je suis désolé” the voice replied as the person apologized in French, “Moi aussi” you replied. “I should’ve been aware, my apologies” you added switching to English. The person you bumped into laughed and your eyes met his green eyes. “Are you okay?” He asked while still keeping a hand behind your back in case he needed to steady you. “Mhm,” you hummed.

“I’m Charles, Enchanté,” he said, extending his hand, stating your name you replied like he had. “What brings you to Monaco?” He asked. “Work, I just moved here actually!” You exclaimed with a little laugh. He smiled, “What do you work in?” Charles asked. “Brand marketing,” you replied. “How about you?” you inquired, “I drive race cars,” he said with a smile. Of course, you knew who he was, you were a fan but you had to downplay this. Turning your head to the side a little you looked at him and smiled, “I think I’ve seen you” you replied and he smiled. “Are you doing something right now?” He asked, scratching the back of his neck, “Besides walking around and trying to find a spot to eat, no not much” you said with a laugh. Charles laughed and beckoned you to follow him. Obliging you walked next to him as he pointed out some sights and cracked a few jokes.

He led you to his car, which as you knew would be a Ferrari, and opened the door for you, thanking him you got in. Before starting the engine he informed you of a really good spot he frequently ate at and took you there. The drive wasn’t long but very agreeable since you conversed the entire time.

Upon entering the cafe you smiled, it seemed like it was very tranquil and did not have a flock of tourists, few tables inside were occupied, Charles was seemingly familiar with the place so he led you to one of the tables out by the balcony and pulled the chair out for you. While waiting for the waitress you kept talking and looking at your surroundings. Charles had stopped talking and admired you for a minute, your head was a little turned to the side, and your line of sight was trained on the faraway horizon. A stray curl fell off your low bun and he fought the urge to reach out and twist the coil around his finger.

Suddenly self-conscious he stopped staring at you, and just then you turned to look at him with a smile so bright that it could start a thousand fires. God, you were gorgeous and you looked at him as if you sensed that he had been taking you in. Just then, the waitress came and you ordered.

Carefully you would sneak in glances at Charles, his hair was a little messy at the top but cut short at the sides, and his skin was tanned making the silver chain around his neck stand out in perfect contrast. He was attractive there was no denying that, but when he laughed and his eyes crinkled you saw a boyish charm to him and butterflies would flutter around your stomach.

Time had inevitably passed and neither of you had noticed, eventually you paid the check, something he insisted he take care of and he drove you home. “You can drop me off here at the entrance, it’s fine,” you said. Shaking his head he replied, “Non, I’d like to make sure you make it to your floor okay. I’m coming with you” he said. “In case the elevator gets stuck?” you asked with a laugh. He laughed, “Exactly, then you’ll be stuck with me and not alone,” he replied. Giggling you both exited the car and he accompanied you to your floor. Stopping at your door you unlocked your door and invited him in but he politely declined. “I had fun today, thank you for showing me around!” you happily said. “It was my pleasure.” “Would you like to intentionally go out someday, without bumping into each other on the street?” he asked. Smiling you nodded, “That would be great,” you replied grinning. Charles’s face lit up with a grin, and he exchanged numbers with you. Bidding goodbye to you you smiled and waved before closing the door with a smile on your face.

A few days had passed since your first encounter with Charles, and you were finally settled into your apartment. On your way home from work, you received a text and noticed that it was Charles asking if you were free that evening. Smiling you replied and soon enough he was asking you out, intentionally just as he’d promised to. Making the short walk home you stepped into the hallway as soon as the elevator doors opened and wasted no time in getting inside your apartment to get ready, While getting ready you realized you were down bad for him.

(all photo credits go to the respective owners)

[strawglicks]

i genuinely cant believe how insecure and almost saddening graham's ending cutscene is. im so serious

Graham's IMMEDIATE reaction to losing is trying to project onto the toons. Instead of admitting defeat, he tries to twist the situation to make it seem like the toons are the ones who've lost the battle.

The fact that Graham cant handle any imperfections in the first place is horribly insecure. someone who's really confident in themselves should be able to admit their flaws and still be happy with themselves. But that's not the case with Graham. He can act confident all he wants, but he's really lying to himself if he can't accept his own flaws and imperfections.

This entire cutscene is Graham projecting his own embarrassment onto the toons. HE'S embarrassed to have lost his own battle. HE'S embarrassed to have gotten burnt out so fast. But he tries desperately to flip the situation to run away from his own shame.

This is a fat lie. Deadass.

I see people speculate abt this line and what his "other forms" could be, but nah he's just lying. Graham was giving his all in this fight, given by how exhausted he is at the end to the point of passing out. It's WHY he's ashamed to have lost, because he was genuinely trying his best and giving it all he had. Yet, he STILL didn't win and it destroys his pride. And in an attempt to save that pride, he lies about "just getting started".

More projecting onto the toons. Graham needs a breather himself, given how he literally faints at the end of his battle. But he can't even admit his own exhaustion or allow himself to be tired because he has this idea that he needs to be perfect. He's built his whole "brand" on being "perfect", so when those flaws start to inevitably show, it shatters this image he's created for himself AND others. He will inevitably be embarrassed and humiliated again and again, merely by his own flaws that he really doesn't NEED to be ashamed of. But he will be ashamed of them because of this "perfect" image he desperately wants to be. It's just self-destruction.

Despite his attempts to flip the situation and project onto the toons, he collapses at the end of his fight from exhaustion. Graham pushes himself to the maximum and then forbids himself from feeling tired, which. Golly! That's unhealthy.

This cutscene, more than reeking insecurity, is also just self-destructive. Graham refusing himself a break and working himself to exhaustion just to prove his worth is so unhealthy, not to mention twisted companies like Cogs. Inc WILL leech off this behavior in an employee and use it to keep them working nonstop. It happens a lot IRL when employees pride themselves on constant productivity because it's what jobs like to see. And those jobs will take advantage of those qualities to keep employees productive with little regard to said employees' health. Graham's pride is destroying him.

I never see people talk about how truly insecure or unhealthy Graham is. I'm all for sillies and poking fun at Graham, but real talk this is a really underrated aspect of his character, and something that should be explored when discussing how companies like Cogs Inc. hurts their employees. Jobs love workers like Graham, but that's. not necessarily a good thing. Esp when they love the workers bc of how hard they'll push themselves without taking breaks. It's an easy trap to fall into when you're trying to impress your employers, especially when you're desperate for a job. (and graham WAS desperate for this job, as seen in MOTM.)

anyway, heres a doodle i thought was fitting

[lilytii]

My thoughts on Ascended vs. Non Ascended Astarion

HEAVY Spoiler Warnings ahead. If you've not completed the game, or if you do not want spoilers, do not read on!

Honestly, I was never planning on making a post like this, and generally I thought most people understood the differences between them. However, I’m seeing a bunch of people twist what both of these mean and are adamantly standing with these twisted meanings, which I feel does them both an injustice. This argument is addressing the romance with Astarion. If you’re just his ally/friend/colleague, most of this won’t matter much.

First and foremost, let me say this: If you like either of these endings, that’s great! I think they’re both tragic in their own right and indeed well written. I do not think anyone should be judged because of what they enjoy, from a fictitious game. I do not think that those who like Ascended need therapy, nor should they be shamed or judged in current relationships. I also do not believe that those who like non ascended route are weak hearted people who cannot handle a hot, evil romance. These are all personal preferences and you shouldn’t feel ashamed.

That being said, I think there are people who are misunderstanding, or refusing to accept what some of these endings mean for the character. I’m going to break things down, piece by piece and come to you with my conclusion. For this I’ll use a few different abbreviations to make things easier.

A.Astarion - Ascended Astarion

S.Astarion - Spawn Astarion

U/A- Unascended

Hopefully this will make things easier to understand and follow. Alright, let’s get into it, and apologies if this is long, this took me days to write and look over all the information I could culminate. I’ve seen many of the same points brought up over and over again, and some who argue various versions of the same argument. Instead of writing long winded responses to one response, I figure I’d write out all of my thoughts in one post and be done with it. There may be points that I miss, forget to address, and I apologize, there’s a lot of ground to cover.

First, let’s go over a few things about What we know about BG3 vampires, the Ascension ritual, and what all of this means.

I think it’s common that everyone knows BG3 is set in Faerun, which is a world setting for the game D&D. The game is running off 5E rules and guidelines, though there are many things that are changed to better suit a video game setting rather than table top. (i.e. short rests are instant, long rests are the only way time and events progress, etc.) That being said, 5e has a set of rules that exist more as guidelines. At the end of the day, everything is up to DM discretion. If the book says “ X works in X way” and the DM says “I don’t like that ruling, so I’m going to change it to work differently for my campaign,” that’s valid as long as everyone agrees and it remains consistent throughout.

That’s the beauty of this game, is everyone runs it a little differently, with their own set of understanding and rules. BG3 works the same, and as the player, you accept and acknowledge that and play to how it is. 

The Vampires seem to be mostly following the lore and rule sets, but there are a few differences here and there. Mostly, the moment you turn into a spawn/vampire, you’re inherently evil. That’s it, end of story, alignment changed. It doesn’t seem to be the case in BG3 though, as you can see some of those who were spawns and recently changed, don’t seem to be fully evil. Astarion tells us of his past and it seemed he wasn’t entirely subscribed to the sudden alignment change. (Not to say that he doesn’t have evil tendencies, he’s very morally gray.) Even Cazador and the notes you find, in his earliest moments as a spawn, seemed to hold an ounce of who he was before he became a full fledged vampire. It seems that from what we see, the corruption is a slow burn, but inevitable, and Vampire spawns seem to have their souls. How do we know they have souls?

Astarion says that he might as well sell ‘what’s left of his soul’ to a devil, than to let Cazador have him again. The Ascension doesn’t just sacrifice these 7000 bodies, they don’t seem to be just ‘animated dead’, oddly enough they have souls that when they’re sacrificed, those souls go to hell to the demon that made the pact. Mephistopheles.

Raphael tells us all about it, and states it’s a rather grim tale, even for his tastes. This ritual is so foul, so diabolical, it has never been performed. The right of profane Ascension .Astarion’s soul, would be sacrificed.  I Think, damning 7000 souls to hell in exchange for power, there’s no coming back from that. I mean, hell, Bhaal himself must be impressed, probably salivating at the amount of death and carnage in one go.

The Ascension gives Astarion a taste of power, he gets some boosts in combat, but the taint on him is already done. He was a pretty gray character before, now? Not so much. That ritual changes him deeply, and it is evident in how he presents himself and how he behaves. He is truly lost, and not a shadow of himself remains.

“He wants this, and he Approves when you let him ascend.”

Ah, Approval, the way to win the man’s heart! Yes, he approves in both scenarios, and he thanks you in both as well, however, context is Everything here.

Astarion, in that moment, is enticed by power and by the promise of safety. He acknowledges he was blinded by it, just as Cazador was. If you are romancing him, you must succeed a persuasion check that’s relatively low depending on your rating with him, and if he’s romanced.

A lot of people dismiss this and say the fact we have to talk him out of it, shows he did not want to stay a spawn and wanted to Ascend. He admits that he was blinded by his want in the moment. He may have wanted to ascend in that moment, because it promised him a life in which the world would bow to him. After all he’s been through, it’s not crazy to say that sure, he was blinded by the promise of now, not thinking of the consequences. How many times have you made an impulse decision because you wanted something now, because all you could see was the promise of a good time, without thinking of any repercussions? It’s human.

He goes on to say:

 “But you saw something else in me- Someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago. You saved me back there. I may not have appreciated it at the time, but I do now. Thank you.”

I want to point out his body language. When Astarion is being serious, when he’s lowering the walls and the barriers to who he is, his movements are small. He smiles, his eyes soften, and he makes eye contact. When he says “but I do now,” he nods, affirming that he truly understands and appreciates what you did, stopping him from ascending. And then he gives a humble bow of his head saying ‘Thank you’.

“But Astarion thanks you on both occasions for giving him everything.”

As it was stated above, context is key. Yes, When he is turning you into a vampire spawn, A. Astarion does say “You’ve given me everything I ever wanted. Thank you.” I can see the case people would make to say this is what he wanted, and so he is sincerely thankful that we gave it to him. In either case, he’s happy.

I can understand the logic, but allow me to put it into a different perspective, if I may.

A drug addict is going through withdrawl and you have the drug they want. They crave it, they’re only focused on that drug and need the high to get through another day. They don’t address their addiction, they just need to score, so plead for you to give it to them. You cave in, give them their drug and they take it. They tell you “Thank you, this is what I wanted.” Is it sincere? Sure, they are really thankful for it, but did you help them? Was this really what was good for them?

Instead, when they beg you for the drug, you tell them ‘No, this is not the life you would be proud of and I want you to be proud of yourself.” Instead, you take them to rehab, they get clean and stay sober. They’re on the path to turning their lives around and say “You know what, I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but, you helped me. You saved me from going down a horrible path. Thank you.”

That thanks, is also sincere, but the outcomes are vastly different.

A.Astarion thanks you for giving him what he wants. S.Astarion thanks you for giving him what he needs.

 Even in his graveyard scene, he says he’s not giving up, just “Reassessing what I want. What I really want.” And when you ask him later, at the graveyard what he wants, he says “you. I want you”  I emphasize ‘really’ here because he does. This is Astarion being honest and telling you what he really wants.

He does not NEED power over others, he does not NEED to ascend, he needs to believe in himself, to choose a life he can be proud of, to do what he wants without being a slave to all the power that stood before him. 

This is evident if you say “You saved yourself, I just gave you a push.” 

And he responds with:

 “You did more than that. You believed in me- believed I was enough just the way I am. When I look at my future, anything and everything feels possible now. And I get to share it with you, as a partner. An equal. You saved me from myself and let me walk a new path where I can be free. TRULY, HONESTLY, FREE. This is a gift, you know. Thank you. I won’t forget it.”

There’s so much that this speaks to, and it’s so self explanatory, but so many people overlook that to say:

“S.Astarion is weak and is still unable to walk in the sunlight. At least Ascending him he’s free.”

I’ll agree and say his ending with him running away from the sun is tragic and painful, but I think that was the point. It’s gut wrenching. The worst part is honestly, most of the companion dialogue who treat him like ‘Oh well, fuck him I guess.” That, I think we can all be on board saying he did not deserve that. Turning away from power, helping you save the world, and all the companions say is like “welp, it was nice knowing you.” That was dirty.

It feels like so many people think giving up one's soul to walk in the sun is the best decision ever and so worth it. The point of his story feels like “Power, but at what cost?” Sure, he can have all these added benefits, if he just gives away his soul, does the most horrific, dastardly thing possible, and completes the ritual. He no longer is himself, and becomes a slave to power. Power will always be something he chases, so that he will never be used again. You basically tell him he’s weak the way he is and to steal the power he is owed. 

Meanwhile in the U/A route, you tell him that he would not be proud of this life, that you want him to live a life he would be truly proud of. And he says “You’re right, I can be better than him.” But he is NOT above enjoying being the one to deal his death. We don’t even STOP him from Killing Cazador, we know he is owed that, he deserves that. 

S.Astarion says he is free to walk a new path, whatever that path is. In his graveyard scene, he says he’s been dead in the ground long enough, it’s time to start living again. S.Astarion’s story is about finding his autonomy, finding his inner strength, accepting himself and making a new path for himself. Whatever this world has to offer, he’s going to take it and have fun.

When you Ascend him, and tell him that you miss the man he was, he seems actually taken back and says:

 “What do you mean, I was pathetic back then, why would you say that?” 

He sounds hurt. He sounds like maybe the tiniest bit, he regrets losing that man, like he can’t understand why someone would love who he was before he ascended.

He hasn’t gotten the affirmation that he’s enough, in fact, he’s more affirmed that he was weak, pathetic, and that power is what will make him strong. He is perfect now because he’s powerful. That’s such a tragic way of looking at him. By choosing this, he doesn’t accept how strong and capable he is as a spawn, he doesn’t heal and regain control of his life, he’s seen as lesser, as someone who needs an outside power to be strong. Love, belief in himself, it wasn’t enough to save him.

“There is no Equality in S.Astarion xTav/Durge. You have the upper hand, he does not. You will die of old age, he will not. That’s not a good romance at all.”

This complaint is one I see a lot, a LOT on people’s videos, blogs, reddit, etc. Just because he is back to being a spawn and does not have insane vampiric powers gifted by an evil, hellish ritual, does not make you his superior. It’s the way you two treat each other, the way you two view each other, that is what makes you an equal. 

If you look at how A.Astarion talks to you, he talks down to you, looking down his nose, he believes you are beneath him. If he makes you a spawn, you are kept nicely under his thumb. 

If you keep him as a spawn, he does not look at you as if you are his ruler, his master, you are his equal, his lover, his companion. He doesn’t look down at you, but eye to eye. Just because one has different abilities and strength does not mean inequality. Just because one has a longer/shorter life span, does not mean inequality. Look at Shadowheart’s parents, one is an elf, the other, human. Does that negate their love because of their lifespan? Are they doomed and have a terrible love story?

I’m sorry, but this argument doesn’t hold water to me. 

A.Astarion fans love that they can choose to live with him in eternity, as his slave. So many people believe that is better than S. Astarion living his days freely with someone he loves, truly loves, as long as he can. I’ve seen people headcanon their Tav/Durge find a means to either cure Astarion of his Vampirism, or find ways to extend their lives. In one of my D&D games, we had collars that kept us from aging and dying prematurely. Granted, we had to agree to give up spell slots every year or so to a powerful mage so he can create magic items, but it pretty much allowed us to live forever. If Gale can ascend to godhood, I’m sure you can find a way to fix these small power issues.

“A.Astarion is the real Astarion, he goes back to his Act 1 self.”

I’ve seen this argument made to why people like A.Astarion, because they love the man he was in Act 1, and feels like this is who he is. There’s so many talking points here, so much to break down, and many arguments made to ‘affirm’ that this is the real Astarion, and this is where he is most himself. I’m going to break this down as best I can and do my best to be clear and easy to follow. There’s so much to go over and I don’t want to sound like I’m all over the place.

I gotta admit, I half agree with this. He does go back to his Act 1 self, but that's not the ‘true’ Astarion. Act 1. Astarion is the man who manipulated your feelings, who was playing an act. It isn’t until Act 2 that Astarion starts to come to terms with himself and becomes honest with you. Yes, he fell in love with you sometime between those moments, but after you ascend him, you can see that he goes back to those theatrics.  All of the progress he made, all of the growth he made, when he ascends, that’s it, it just hard stops and reverses back to the start. He regresses so hard that he loses himself and becomes a shadow of the man he was, an echo of that man who manipulated his way to get what he wants.

Astarion admits in several ways in different dialogue options that the Ascension would have changed him, it would have made him lose himself, it would have made him different.

Tav: “The ritual would have changed you, I’m glad you resisted it.

S. Astarion: So am I. Fun as all that power would have been…this feels more me.

Tav: “Do you regret turning down all that power?”

S.Astarion: “Perhaps. It would have been terrible fun. But then again, I could feel something slipping away. I came so close to losing myself-to losing everything I’d learned since meeting you.”

He speaks so much about his growth, about his development thus far and if he ascended, he’d lose it all. This speaks volumes to his character and to how he holds himself now. We see Astarion start to believe in himself, knowing his worth, and his U/A route shows that he’s starting to understand that he can do the right thing.

“Astarion says he’s not happy.”

S.Astarion “I am- well, not happy. But this feels right.”

(Graveyard scene,)

Tav: “regretting your choice?”

S.Astarion: “No, I made the right choice. Although I do regret the options I had.”

Tav: “You did the right thing, stopping the Black mass.”

S.Astarion: “I know, that doesn’t mean it stings any less”

 Tav: (when referring to never seeing the sun as the price of freedom) “Do you think you can live with that?”

S.Astarion: “I’ll have to, doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

All the arguments I’ve seen for those who prefer A.Astarion use this to say he’s not happy, that he admits that he would have had more fun if he had power, and that’s what he wanted. He’s lamenting his lack of power and the fact that he’ll belong to the shadows, for sure, but he knows and understands that the decision he made was for the best. This is honestly such a relatable, and real emotion and thought. How many times do we as flawed humans know that doing the right thing, whether it’s for our own benefit or someone else’s, isn’t always the ‘fun’ option. He’s been on a quest for power, saw an ideal in his head, and now understands that going that route wasn’t the best for him, no matter how much fun it might have been in theory.

Astarion knew he made the best choice for him, the best choice to regain control, to be himself, his true self. His options were ‘sell your soul, lose yourself to have power and walk in the sun,  or keep your soul, remain true to yourself and better your life, but be reserved to the life of a spawn, living in the shadows and with hunger.” There was no good options, but there was a good choice.  

I want you to think about who Astarion is, what he’s been telling us this whole time.In the love test, we can choose silly, fun answers to gain his approval and keep things lighthearted, but the real answers exist, and he doesn’t exactly enjoy them being shared.

Astarion is afraid of being someone’s slave, he’s afraid of being helpless and not being able to keep his freedom. This whole time, 200 years he’s been shown that there’s no heroes, gods do not care for anyone, and the strong are the only ones who survive in this world. He’s afraid, he’s terrified but puts on this air of assertion. He stands behind those who are stronger than him and rides their coat tails till he can snatch power for himself. He’s not above backstabbing and manipulation if it gets him what he wants.

Astarion plays with power, as long as it doesn’t threaten to change him. He’s fine with abusing the tadpoles powers, but the moment he realizes that greater power can be unlocked by becoming a half illithid, he wants nothing to do with it. You can peer into his mind and use his fear against him to force him to do this, but thats manipulative in it’s own right. You don’t respect him or his want at that point, all in the name and sake of power.

Astarion’s first line to us is his disgust at the thought of being turned into a mindflayer. He laughs bitterly and says “Of course it would turn me into a monster…what else did I expect?” Power is good if it offers safety and protection, but not at the risk of his own skin. This is said so much throughout and is emphasized by him saying, he knows finishing the right would have ruined him, who he was, and everything he’s learned up to this point.

However, if throughout this game, you show him that there’s strength in one’s self, that there’s power to be had deep within, he starts to understand that and starts to see that he can be the break in the chain. He can be the difference he needs, alongside you.

This power hungry Astarion is the result of 200 years of abuse and suffering. Astarion starts to understand that there’s consequences to one’s actions, he starts to take responsibility for those actions and understands the difference between running away from it, and meeting them head on.

I’d say that’s a strength in it’s own. He’s finding himself and tackling the hardest things in his life that he turned a blind eye to. A.Astarion does not get that. He doesn’t care about anyone, anything, consequences be damned.

“Tav gaslights Astarion to change himself. Tav ‘knows what’s better’ and choosing not to ascend him not only makes him weak, but shows you don’t think he’s strong enough.” Tav forces Astarion to change.

This is paraphrased from a comment from a prominent A.Astarion fan. The entire comment was such a hot take, that they said, and I quote: Cazador did not inspire him that sex is power. Cazador didn't need sex to control people, he had other power. 

I don’t know if they understand what Astartion was trying to say when he said that Cazador made Astarion use his body to lure things for him. That Cazador had full control over him and made him perform acts of sex against Astarion’s will, otherwise he’d get TORTURED. I could go ON about how disgusting the take is, but I won’t get into that. I’ll address their point and continue.

I believe I’m one of many who don’t like the option of “You don’t need to worry, I’ll protect you.” And Astarion’s own answer of “thanks, that’s sweet, but I don’t want to have to always rely on you.” (or something to that nature.) I refuse to choose it, I understand the sentiment, but that option didn’t feel good. 

Still, despite that line, Astarion doesn’t get the all power he wanted, but that doesn’t make him weak. Tav shows that Astarion is weak in the ways of inner strength, the strength to take off his chains and be himself! He has the strength to choose his own destiny and take it by the hands. So many people look at ‘physical’ strength and weigh that higher over inner strength. Astarion in game, is not a weak fighter. I can tell you, rogues are fucking CRAZY strong! In many of my battles, he’d be the last one standing and has to sometimes be the one to save others. 

Believing that there’s more to Astarion than power, revenge, and sex is NOT gaslighting him at all! Gaslighting someone is forcing another to believe that they’re wrong, despite the fact that they aren’t. It’s projecting onto them your wants and making them feel terrible for not seeing things your way.  

You can gaslight Astarion, want to know how? By forcing him to have sex with you despite him saying it’s uncomfortable for him. By saying “You should enjoy it, and enjoy it with me.” And do you know what happens when you choose that? He ends things, and stands up for himself!

We aren’t manipulating him, changing him, forcing him to be someone he isn’t. He admits to it many times over after  that we believed in him, we saved him and pulled him away from a path that would ruin him. To say that’s changing him, to say it’s gaslighting is absolutely bonkers! In fact, telling him to ascend is affirming that power is better than anything, even if it costs your soul. I don’t know why people refuse to believe that S.Astarion IS the REAL Astarion. And while he isn’t all powerful, he’s fully free to live his life the way he wants to, and intends on it.

“A.Astarion still loves us. Sure it’s not the ‘kind’ love you get with S.Astarion, but it is love and he does care for us. It’s perfect for an evil route”

This is the most common argument for what I’ve seen people saying they like A.Astarion. It’s a different kind of romance, a different kind of love that still has caring, but it isn’t ‘nice’. There’s so many different takes on this that usually accumulate to “He does care, he does love us! It’s a crazy toxic love, but it is still love.”

I get it, I totally understand why so many people are drawn to A.Astarion. The sex scene is spicy, he calls you pet names, and says “You’re mine” and things like “I’ll protect you” “Lovers forever”. At it’s core, it sounds like a crazy, possessive romance perfect for an evil Tav/Durge, especially a Bahhl accepting Durge. I can see the appeal, and really, for an evil character, ruling the world with the lord of vampires sounds amazing! Hell, even for a morally ambiguous or amoral character, this would be fun!

I know there are people who appreciate it for what it is, people who understand that they are A.Astarion’s favorite thing, they are his obedient pet who does his will. Some in their Durge games understand they are using each other, and it’s not a romantic relationship, but that of an evil companionship. “We are awful for each other and do awful things for each other!”

That being said, many people seem to be under the impression that A.Astarion truly cares about you, that he loves you.

“It’s a possessive love, but even then, that’s just a form of love.”

Look, I’ll be honest and be the first to say that a person, especially a hot vampire who calls me “MINE” with such virility, would instantly make me weak in the knees. I love me a strong lover who is a bit selfish in wanting me, there’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, who doesn’t want to feel coveted like that? (Ok, I know there are people out there who aren’t cool with that, I’m just saying for those of us who are thirsty! lol)

Still, I can’t say that this context is of that capacity. You’re his object, his favorite and obedient spawn, slave. He pretties it up and calls you consort, which makes you think some form of equal footing, that of a spouse. (Understandably, not all marriages have spouses who view their spouse as an ‘equal’. This is very much like that.) If you’re his spawn, you are surely his slave.

“He calls us Pet, my treasure, consort, lover. He stands up for us against Araj, he does indeed care for us.”

Pet names are cute, and he has used ‘pet’ for us before he ascended. The way he says “Yes my treasure?” Is very baby sweet talk, he even does the elaborate swinging of his shoulders. I don’t think Astarion’s descent to madness is immediate. I think there are still parts of him that is haunted by his trauma, but instead of being able to deal with it, he does the same things he’s always done. He disassociates, he falls back to bad patterns. 

When meeting Araj again, both S. Astarion and A. Astarion have similar dialogues between each other, but also, there are some interesting differences as well. A. Astarion makes a note of ‘Who belongs to who this time’ referring back when she thought Astarion was your subordinate, your ‘obstinate charge’ and you could stick up for him and say he is his own person. Now, he means to correct that and explain that you belong to him, not in a romantic way, but in the way that you are under his charge, you are his spawn/slave.

I get that in that conversation he says “And don’t worry, if anything happens, I’ll protect you.” Can be sweet, if you look at that completely out of context, hell I’d think it’s sweet too. He does say this in a bit of a condescending way though. It’s not the “I love you and I’ll protect you,” it’s the “This is my thing, and I’ll protect it from getting being damaged.” The care that A. Astarion has for you isn’t one of honest love, it isn’t born of concern.

You can see that because S. Astarion has a dialogue that says “Say no, the only thing she is offering is pain, and…I don’t want to see you hurt.” 

Astarion isn’t someone who knows how to express his true feelings, he’s expressed his inability to know how to truly be with someone, but he’s opening up. At this point, this is beyond his graveyard scene, so you’re seeing a man who is awkward when expressing his true feelings. Again, his body language says so much here. He gives a sigh right before saying he doesn’t want to see you hurt, he shies away from you just slightly and his expression grows softer. He’s being vulnerable and sincere, he truly does not want to see you hurt. Not because you’re an item of his that he doesn’t want damaged, but because he truly doesn’t want his lover to be hurt, that would pain him. There’s a lot of dialogue that’s similar for both, so, there’s not much to differentiate between them at that time.

Astarion’s trauma is still trauma, in both iterations. His understanding of consent seems to resonate with both versions at this point. So many people are taking that ‘consent’ is him caring. Just because he understands consent, and still asks you, that doesn’t quite mean a level of caring. Yes you can choose to be his spawn, or not. If you break up with him not as a spawn, he insults you and lets you be. Choose to be his spawn, and there is no getting out of it, you have no consent anymore. You’re his slave. Yes, he calls you his ‘consort’ because he wanted to dress up the word “spawn”. A slave is still a slave, no matter what other pretty title you want to give it. You have consent up until he turns you, then that’s out the window, you can’t leave ever. Hell, he even has a line that says “I should have turned you into a spawn, just to prove that I could.” Yeah, let that sink in.

“A.Astarion says ‘I love you, I’d never hurt you.’ He tells us he loves us on multiple occasions. Once more, he’s got a beating heart now, so he is fully capable of love.”

 =/

A beating heart, a living organ =/= love. I mean, if you break up with him he says “You brought my dead heart back to life, it will keep beating” That is metaphorical, it didn’t mean that he will be brought back to life. So no, having a living, beating heart does not make him more capable of love. He felt real love as a spawn, he sincerely fell for you.

Let’s also talk about Astarion saying “I love you.” He does say it at both routes, but the way he says it, and again, body language says it all.

I’ve seen this video going around about how he says he loves Tav/Durge, and how people claim this is love, that this is proof he cares. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Bov4CwHLukc

Let’s talk about these, shall we?

First of all, notice how Astarion is acting here. This is back to theatrics, the wide arm movements, the flowery words and the poetic gestures. Does this look familiar? Ah yes, this looks very similar to when he used all his ‘favorite lines’ at us. Even when he says “I love you” it feels so practiced, so forced. He even looks down at you afterwards. But people are so convinced that this is romantic love. They are convinced he means this.

I am reminded back to that, force Astarion to sleep with you scene. You tell him “You seemed like you enjoyed it,” and he says he knows that song and dance better than anyone, it was an act. This? This is an act as well. But S.Astarion? Go look at the graveyard scene, go watch how he tells you he loves you.

He looks you directly in the eyes, taking your hand in his, and he’s smiling. That’s no forced smile, when does he ever smile that genuine and at peace? He looks down in thought for a moment and returns to your eyes and says “he loves ‘this’, and he wants it all, with you.” Look at those two “I love yous” side to side and tell me which one really, truly looks sincere. Which looks real.

In act 2, he says that he manipulated you into an alliance, so you’d never hurt him. He used sex to get you to love him so you won’t turn on him, but says you deserve something real, that he wants to be real with you. In his graveyard scene, he’s ready to be fully real with you. And if you do have sex with him, the dev. Notes says “Had_sex_as_equals. You are his equal, and he is yours. Whatever your powers and abilities are doesn’t matter, it’s how you treat each other, as equals.

Astarion’s first line in the video says he was offering you power, offer you to live as his spawn so he can own you, what’s that, if not love? Then says, if that’s not an offer, if you want more, perhaps this isn’t for you.

I’ve seen so many people say “A.Astarion is not for the weak hearted, his kind of love is intense, possessive and hot, not for those goody goodies! He says it himself.”

Nah, he’s telling you that love is a transaction. You gave me power, I’ll give you a bit of it. You become my spawn that will be obedient to me, who will bow to my every whim, and I’ll offer you protection. There, love. This is a man who used his body, who used everything as a transaction. If you get high approval before the party and allowed him to bite you, he offers you sex as thanks. It’s a transaction. 

A.Astarion says “I did try with you, you know. In the only way I know how.” By using a transaction of offering you life of being a spawn. 

And of course, how can we forget the famous line. “Of course I know about *love* (said with absolute disgust by the way) I know how to use it, manipulate it, and I can’t help playing the hand I know. I would have used your love, abused your trust until you were nothing.”

Every argument here says “You hurt his pride, he’s angry! He doesn’t mean that. He was upset and said a lie.” And I can say, ok, I hear you. There’s been times when people break up and say really hurtful things because they were hurt. Things they may not even mean. I’d be fully inclined to believe that if… well, if that were true. Instead, I fully, TRULY believe Astarion is being sincere with us here. I think he knows that we were smart enough to see through his BS, to see that in this state, he’s gone.

They also cut out parts where Astarion says “Oh that was completely different, I’d never hurt you, I love you.” Right after, in the same breath, he says “That’s what you’ve been waiting to hear, isn’t it?”  Like, this man is telling you what you want to hear, it’s not the truth, it’s all a lie. He’s telling you to your face “I’m telling you what you want to hear.”

 He doesn’t know what real love is, he is incapable of love, to him it’s just a game. You can tell this by the insight check you do before he turns you.

“The insight check really means that he doesn’t think highly of himself, that he values Tav/Durge’s opinion and thinks he’s not good enough to be with”

I can understand how this could be one interpretation, and I’d agree with you if this was Act 2. Astarion. I’d fully believe that’s how he thinks a continued romance would be with him, but that’s not what’s going on here.

A.Astarion thinks he’s all powerful and amazing. He’s not the weak man he was back then, he’s better. Knowing you want to be a slave to him, you’re degrading yourself to becoming his slave, his spawn, but…maybe you’re into that. Maybe you want to be his slave, to worship him and be manipulated. Hell, you’ve gone this far for him, he doesn’t seem to have to beg you, you’re willing to do what he wants.

That’s the implication here. Not that he’s not good enough for you, but that you no longer care about yourself, that you want to be stepped on by him. 

A lot of people understand this concept as “Yeah, I made him worse, and I’m willing to throw everything in the trash to be with him! He can pull me by my leash and I will follow!” And then others misunderstand it to mean “Awww my poor boy thinks he’s not good enough for us and thinks we’re degrading ourselves to be his lover.” It’s definitely the former, not the later.

But this is a Sub/Dom relationship!

At the very base core of what that is, he is dominant over you, and you are serving him. To call this a sub/dom relationship is such a disservice to those real relationships out there that exist though!

I know someone close to me, who has been in a sub/dom relationship for 10+ years. She wears a collar with her partner’s name on it and he calls her pet names. This is something they do in their private time, and after all of it, there’s so much after care and tenderness involved to remind them both that they are partners who are equal. They are in a safe place, they have real, romantic love and understand if at any time there’s something they aren’t comfortable with, they can speak up.

A.Astarion just owns you. He doesn’t care, you are his property and that’s that. That’s like calling Cazador Astarion’s lover! The man favored Astarion, and when he disobeyed, he punished him. Granted, I’ll say that Astarion and his spawn’s relationship isn’t violent yet, but I don’t think it wouldn’t get to that point. He says he doesn’t have to, you’ll be wonderfully obedient.

…but what if you aren’t? Do you really think he’ll stand there and listen? If you push back, do you think he will understand? If you speak up and speak your mind, will he just lovingly accept your words? I’m afraid not. To those who think they can ‘change’ him or ‘keep him in line’, the time for that has passed and he’s not going back. I’m sorry.

The writer who spoke up is wrong about A.Astarion and is just one writer, not even the MAIN one! Take their words with a grain of salt.

The amount of people taking the salt out of what the writer said is crazy! I saw the reddit post and people were losing their minds, saying that this writer should have never said anything, that they stole the joy out of their A. Astarion romance, and that all is doomed!

Let me just say this. The writer, other people, no one can take your agency of enjoying a game. Take it for what it is, enjoy it. If you don’t agree, that’s fine, but it does not make the writer wrong. 

The writer is one of many who worked and wrote for Astarion. Just as what happens with every character, what happens with comics, movies, games, etc. You have teams who all work on one part to make it a cohesive whole. Animators have writers, directors, lineart work, flat colors, shaders, sketchers, background artists, all of these different people work on different parts of the same product and at the end, you have a whole piece. They all have to be in sync with each other and understand the source material to make it all work here.

The writer who spoke out may have been one of many, but that does not mean their words were invalid. In fact, after taking their words into consideration and looking back at how the sex scene for A.Astarion and S.Astartion play out, I honestly sat back and thought “...wow, I actually completely understand what you mean!”

First of all, they call it a bad ending. That speaks enough to what has been said and stated over and over again. Astarion does not progress, he does not heal, he gives up his soul for power, losing himself, and becomes a slave to it. Secondly, they said that you failed to see him as anything more than a kink, and reduce your relationship to that. That explains his actions, the way he is back to manipulating you with pretty words of adoration. And so many people are literally falling for it all over again.

In the scene he makes you a spawn, it’s overly provocative (I’ll admit, it’s fucking hot! I mean, from an objective view at least. Knowing what I know, it’s sad, but taking out context and what I know, it’s a very sexy scene) it’s meant to be. This is what you wanted, this is what you think of him. The camera mod that allows you to see different angles is a GODSEND here! You can look into his eyes and they are devoid of life, of feeling. He’s going through the motions, but he’s not even there. He’s not looking at you, he’s looking away, his body is performing, and Tav/Durge is just moaning and enjoying themselves. You wanted this, you got it, and in the end, he delivers.

Vs. the graveyard. It’s so much more chaste since you have clothes on. He’s not biting you, but this is his most honest form. It’s pure love, this isn’t lust, this isn’t him ‘fucking’ you, but being one with you. He’s reclaiming what sex means to him. It’s not a means to an end, it’s not an exchange, it’s not forced, he wants to give you a night of passion because he loves you. This is him connecting sex to love, and not as an act of manipulation.

Again, the camera mod is everything!! He looks into your eyes, his features are genuine. He cups the side of your cheek and kisses you. Then, he pushes you down, and climbs over you, looking into your eyes before sinking into the kiss in a much deeper, passionate way. 

I admit, I’m a degenerate. I can accept that Astarion is hot! I thought his turning scene was erotic, steamy, and I just couldn’t stop watching it. But knowing what I know, I can understand how, if what you’re looking for is real love, a real romantic relationship, that’s not the way to go. I think the camera angles of his graveyard scene show so much more to how passionate and hot that kiss is! Once I understood that this was Astarion, truly himself, taking back sex for himself and pushing Tav/Durge down in that swoop of a kiss, I completely did a 180 and preferred that! 

That kiss is HOT! And it means so much more, which makes it all the more intense. This is Astarion, throwing down his walls, opening up to us, body, soul and heart. And seeing as the dev notes says they had sex, it leaves it to your imagination how that went down, but I am one to believe, it was incredible, earth shatteringly so.

Final thoughts

If you made it this far, Oh my GOD I’m so sorry! Honestly, I appreciate it and thank you all for the time and patience to read my ramblings. I’ve just been sitting here replying to so many others and said “Fuck it, I’ll make a post about my feelings.”

There’s so much I haven’t touched on, so many points that can still be made, and I’m sure I missed over some other parts. Because I’m a maladaptive daydreamer, these thoughts literally assaulted me every chance they got! I couldn’t cook, clean, or even shower without another full stream of ideas that invaded my brain. I had to stop now because I’ve been working on this for 4 days and if I kept going, this would be 30+ pages long and NO ONE wants that.

That being said, look, if you like Ascended, go for it! If you want your character to be degraded and live in that fantasy, that’s ok and you shouldn’t be shamed for it. You shouldn’t be bullied by anyone to think you’re real life relationships are awful, or that you need therapy. Please, have fun and remember to take some time away from it all every now and then.

If you like Spawn, that’s great too! You shouldn’t be made to feel like you’re weak, or you only think Astarion is some good boy. You shouldn’t be told that you’re gaslighting, or anything else that I’ve seen out there.

At the end of the day, these are games, escapism from reality. I encourage you all to write, or maybe play the character in a game, or do what you want to do as long as it brings joy to you.

The point of this post is not to shame anyone or to cause drama. The point of this was to show that the writers did an AMAZING job illustrating these character’s stories. They showed us how gray and lifelike they were, they made their flaws something relatable, but also showed us that there’s always two very different ways things can go.

I wanted to highlight the differences in Astarion’s endings.  In his Ascended ending, he loses himself for the price of power. He fails to see that there’s more to himself than what power can give him. He fails to heal from his trauma, and instead, masks it behind power and control. He continues the cycle of abuse and becomes an entirely new monster. He fails to experience a true, romantic love that he never had and instead returns to using ‘love’ as a form of manipulation. He is deluding himself into what he thinks is happiness, and one day, will have nothing left inside of him. It’s so tragic and yet painfully, beautifully written.

In his spawn ending, he gets healing, he gets to choose his own way through life and live it being free. I wanted to show that while power was enticing, he learns that he’s enough the way he is, even if he won’t have the power of profane ascension (no matter how much terrible fun it would have been). And hey, if you want to play him in a solo campaign (that’s what I’m doing) and find ways for him to gain power without losing who he is, I’m sure that would be awesome! To see Astarion grow, and continue to take responsibility, to see him take back his sexuality, his honor, his autonomy is beautiful, even if it means he had to let go of the thing he thought he wanted, to take hold of the thing he truly wants.

[bunnysnuff]

Camouflage.

Pairing: Nick Nelson x M!Army!reader.

Trigger warning: none.

Request.

Nick sat on the edge of his bed, fingers twisting the corner of his pillow, lost in thought. His phone buzzed beside him, and he glanced at the screen to see a message notification from you. The guy who had turned his life upside down in just a few short months. He hadn’t expected to fall for someone so quickly, but from the moment you two met during an end-of-summer football game at the park, there was a connection—a spark that felt inevitable. You were smart, kind, and a year older than Nick, and being around you made everything feel brighter.

But then you dropped the news that changed everything: you had enlisted in the army and would be leaving for basic training in a few weeks. Nick could still remember how his stomach twisted when he heard you say it. He admired your bravery, but the idea of you being away—potentially in danger—felt like a weight pressing on his chest.

He unlocked his phone, the notification still lighting up the screen: Hey, I’ve only got a few minutes. Call me?

Without a second thought, Nick hit the call button, his heart pounding as the phone rang in his ear. It barely rang twice before you answered.

“Hey, Nick,” you said, your voice soft, quieter than usual but still carrying that calm steadiness Nick had come to love.

“Hey,” Nick replied, trying to keep his voice steady despite the emotions swirling inside him. “How are you? You doing okay?”

There was a pause on the other end, and Nick could hear the faint background noise of the barracks—a world he was still struggling to understand. “I’m alright,” you replied, though there was a weight behind the words. “It’s just... a lot. But I’m managing.”

Nick bit his lip, trying to hold back the questions, the worry. He knew you were strong, that you could handle whatever was thrown your way, but that didn’t stop him from imagining every worst-case scenario. “I miss you,” he said softly, the words slipping out before he could stop them.

“I miss you too,” you admitted, your voice warm and genuine, but tinged with the same sadness Nick felt. “I think about you all the time, especially when things get tough. It keeps me going.”

Nick smiled despite the ache in his chest. “I wish I could be there with you, or that you were here with me.” He paused, running a hand through his hair. “I hate this, you know? I hate that you’re so far away.”

“I know,” you said, your voice gentle. “But it won’t be forever. Basic training is only a few months, and then I’ll get leave. We’ll figure it out, Nick. We’ll make it work.”

Nick nodded, even though you couldn’t see him. He believed you because he had to. “What’s it like there? Are the other guys okay?”

“It’s intense,” you said with a small laugh, but Nick could hear the exhaustion in your voice. “The training’s tough, and there’s not much downtime. But the guys are decent. A lot of them are going through the same thing, you know? Missing people back home.”

Nick exhaled, wishing more than anything that he could be there to help somehow, to support you through all of this. “I wish I could do more for you,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

“You’re doing more than you know,” you reassured him. “Just hearing your voice... it makes everything a little easier. I know it’s hard, but I’m going to be okay, Nick. I promise.”

There was a beat of silence, the weight of your words hanging between you both. Nick wanted to believe it—needed to believe it—but the distance felt unbearable some days. “Just… take care of yourself, alright? I’m not there to kick your ass if you don’t.”

You chuckled, a sound that made Nick’s heart skip a beat. “I’ll be fine. Besides, I’ve got your voice in my head constantly reminding me to be careful.”

Nick grinned, despite the knot in his chest. “Good. Don’t forget it.”

“I won’t,” you said, your voice softening. “I’ve got to go soon, but I’ll text you when I can, okay?”

“Okay,” Nick whispered, not wanting the call to end. “Stay safe, alright?”

“You too, Nick. I’ll talk to you soon.”

The call ended, and Nick stared at the screen for a moment, the silence of his room rushing back in around him. He placed his phone beside him, lying back on his bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling. The ache in his chest hadn’t lessened, but hearing your voice gave him hope. Even though the distance was hard, Nick knew one thing for certain—he’d wait as long as it took. You were worth it.

[jake-g-lockley]

I'm back :D

OKAY so I have TWO prompts you can feel free to pick from whichever you want!! if one has already been written/requests then thats okay (its mainly why i picked two jUST IN CASE!!!!!)

How aboutttttt the cutie pie moon boys with either prompt #15 or #21?! I DONT MIND EITHER WHICHEVER WORKS BETTER FOR YOU (im so indecisive and they're both so cute?!?)

THANK YOU LOVELY!!!

Poison Tree (Moon Knight x reader)

Masterlist | Spotify Playlist | Wanna be Tagged?

Prompt: the spider-man meme where they're all pointing at each other but it's a conversation like *i said i didn't like you like that because you said you didn't like me" "but i said i didn't like you because you were literally in love with someone else" then "i only said i was in love with them because you didn't want me!

A/N: Heya lovelyyy!! Thank you so much for the ask, I switched it up a tiny bit but I hope you like it ehhehe.

Warnings: everyone here is an idiot istg, a touch of angst, them not being able to say what they need to say, seriously; they have three people in their head and they’re that dumb? AHAHAH, light allusions to smut.

Word Count: 2.1 k 

☾ .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Buying things was something that plagued you like a weird disease that never went away. You didn’t have this type of luxury when you were younger, your mother always forced you to save whatever money you made and scared you into thinking that you would not have a single cent on you when you truly needed it. Funnily enough, when you started earning your own money, you gave in and started to spend on things that your mother would frown upon.

You stared up at the shelf of books before you, sighing frustratedly as you gazed at the beautiful new covers. You cursed yourself for walking into the new luxury bookstore that opened in the mall, your mother’s voice echoing loudly in your head. You screwed your eyes tightly and tried to imagine something that would pull you away from both the thought of buying the book and the sound of your mother’s grating voice.

You were laying down on the couch, your body aching deliciously from the weight of something covering you. Your hands were preoccupied, carding through soft curls as large hands squeezed your sides. You were smiling down at the person who was cuddling you close and the person looked up at you, big brown, doe like eyes meeting yours.

“You know I have those books in my flat?” a voice pulled you out of your little daydream making you gasp as you whirled around and your eyes met the same brown eyes you were imagining. 

Steven Grant was smiling at you, his lopsided grin matching his curls that flopped to his forehead. Steven always looked comfortable and you always had the inevitable urge to squeeze him. Oh, how you yearned to press your nose into his chest as you hugged him close. You faked a scowl and Steven’s grin got wider as his hand shot out and gripped your wrist.

“If you behave, I’ll let you borrow them someday.” his voice twisted your insides as he pulled you away from the shelf.

Your heart swooned whenever you were around Steven. He and the other two were your poison tree, the bunch you had intended to stay far away from but couldn’t get enough of. He gently pulled your book bag off your shoulder and slung it on his own as the both of you walked to the cafe that the both of you hung out at on a weekly basis. You’d mark your student’s exercise books while Steven did his research on the ancient artifact he was writing about.

At times, you’d feel his eyes on you and you knew it wasn’t exactly Steven looking at you anymore

“Hi, Marc.” you said, without looking up from what you were marking.

“I still don’t get how you do that.” The deep Chicago accent makes you shiver slightly.

“Your posture changes, dummy.” you said, earning a chuckle from him.

“How are the kids doing this week?” he asked, leaning forward to take a look at what you were marking. 

“Pretty good actually, their grammar is getting better and I think they enjoy my classes.”

“I’m sure they do, princesa.” came the beautiful spanish drawl. 

“Now, what did I say about switching mid conversation.” 

A long pause greeted you and you finally looked up from the book you were marking to see Jake staring at you with a satisfied smile.

“That it’s rude?”

“Mhmm.”

“I made you look though.” he winked at you and your insides turned into pure mush.

Outside, you rolled your eyes and casted your eyes back down onto the exercise book, holding back a grin of your own. 

“So, how is Mr. Daniels?” 

Your eyebrows furrowed and you looked back at Marc who was now leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed in front of him. You didn’t get why he would always ask you about the math teacher, you only called Mr. Daniels cute once in your life. 

“He’s good, I guess.” you took a sip of your coffee and bowed your head, not letting Marc see what was clearly written all over your face.

For months, you have been trying to get rid of the feelings you felt for the three men. They were absolutely beautiful and had personalities that fired up your very being, but an unfortunate incident stood between you and them.

Flashback

You and him were a little too close, you could see all of the little details of his face. You and him had demolished a bag of doritos and the empty wine glasses made the both of you giggle incredulously. You didn’t know who you were looking at, the alcohol muddling your brain as your eyes zeroed on the doritos dust at the side of his mouth. 

“You know I was thinking of asking Dylan out, the tour guide at the museum.” Steven’s voice burned a hole through your heart and you smiled, hiding the pain that coursed through you.

“You should.” you whispered, trying your hardest not to let your heart betray you.

“Jake suggested for me to take her out to that steak shop.” he leaned back into the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. 

“And what are you gonna eat there, silly.” you stifled a giggle.

“I dunno, bread, salad?” 

You tried to laugh the best you could despite the achy feeling at the pit of your stomach. 

End of flashback

“How’s Dylan?” you asked. 

“She’s alright.” Steven said softly. 

“Hmm.”

Your eyes caught a couple behind Steven and you smiled gently as one of them kissed the other one’s knuckles.

Jake noticed and turned around too, turning back to you with a grin and plucking the red pen out of your hand before suddenly taking your hand in his. Your heart blazed when you felt his lips on your knuckles and your breathing stopped for a second, his eyes shining with mischief. You quickly snatched your hand away from him and you could note the change in the way his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Hey, you know I was just joking, it didn’t mean anything.” he said quickly. 

It didn’t mean anything.

“Yea, I know, Jake , you don’t like me like that.” you said before you could stop yourself.

Jake’s thoughts raced as Marc and Steven panicked inside his head. They weren’t supposed to like you like that but they do and they wanted to stand on top of the table that you both were at and scream that fact at the top of their lungs.

You couldn’t mark anything anymore, with the way he kept reminding you of your failed love life. Your failed, unrequited love for them. You snatched the pen back from him and tapped the book in front of you, thinking of your next move. You quickly grab your phone and text one of your friends, Sam. Code red, the code you always used to get out of situations you didn’t like and you were feeling really uncomfortable with the energy you had created. 

A few minutes later, to your pure relief, your friend called you.

“Oh, umm, I have to go, Sam is stuck in a … situation.” you say as you frantically shove your stuff into your bag.

“Right, let me help you with that.” Steven said, standing up, a worried look on his face.

“It's okay, I got it.” you gave him a reassuring smile and tucked a five pound bill under the coffee.

“I’ll see you.”

“Yeah.” Steven rubbed the back of his neck, wondering if he had said anything out of the way, his heart pounding as he watched you walk out of the cafe.

☾ .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You woke up hours later to a knock at your door. Your face was wet and you checked your phone for any messages, absolutely shocked to see about 14 missed calls from the boys, another five from your best friend and dozens of messages. You flung yourself out of bed and ran to the front door

You opened it to see a frantic Jake standing outside, his hair a mess. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around you and hugged you close, mumbling something into your hair in spanish.

“Shit, I thought something happened when you didn’t answer your calls. I called Sam and she couldn’t get a hold of you.” Jake’s voice was bubbling with tears and you looked up at him in shock. 

“Jake, I-” suddenly, his lips were on yours and you felt yourself being lifted off your feet.

The kiss was as frantic as he looked and you became putty in his arms as you tried your best to steady yourself. You pulled away and stared at the man in front of you, only to see Steven’s eyes staring back. Your hands came up to touch your lips and you couldn’t help but touch his lips too. 

“Sorry, fuck, I know you’re with-” you cut him off with another kiss and you felt all of your worries wash over you.

Your hands grip his face and you hold onto him until the both of you are out of air. 

“Fuck, what about Dy-” you pulled away and started to say, but Marc pushed you against the wall and caught your lips with his again, wordlessly asking you to jump as he gripped your hips hard. 

You jumped and wrapped your legs around his torso, your bodies sandwiched together. Your hands carded up his curls and you pulled on them for purchase, causing him to groan against your lips. 

“Wait, Marc, Jake, Steven, what’s happening.” you pull away, your confusion creeping up the satisfied feeling that you were feeling. 

You couldn’t tell who had control of the body as they pushed their forehead against yours, just holding you against the wall. 

“I don’t know,” you heard Steven’s voice whisper as he ducked his head lower.

Your hands were still in his hair and you pulled him closer.

“Put me down.” you whispered after a while and unlocked your ankles.

Their eyes were casted downward as they tried their best to not look at you. You pulled them to your dining table and busied yourself with making a cup of tea, chewing at your swollen bottom lip, wondering what had just happened. You wanted to feel it again so bad, the passion they pushed upon you was so fiery that you wanted nothing more but to have it course through your veins again. You sighed as you pushed the cup of tea in front of them.

“Whoever is fronting, could you please just explain what happened?” you calmly asked. 

When their eyes met with your’s, you could clearly see Marc’s sadness and it crushed your heart.

“We’re sorry we springed on you like that.” he whispered. “The truth is, I- we are in love with you.'' The last bit of his sentence came out like it was a harsh secret, clawing its way out of his voice box. 

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Fuck.” was all you could say as you swallowed down your own tears. 

“But we know that you don’t feel like that for us, so you-” he continued. 

“Wait, who said that?” you cut him off, your heart thudding in your chest.

“You did.” Steven mumbled. “Just now, we only said that we didn’t like you like that because you made it clear how you felt about us.” 

“But- but I only did that because you have feelings for someone else! You know? The woman you are dating!” 

“We only said that because you said you found the math teacher at your school cute!” Marc slammed his hand down, making you jump. “We’re not dating Dylan!”

“I was joking, you dumbass! Oh my fucking god!” you slammed your hands down and stood up, pushing Marc’s chair back and straddling him without another word.

You kissed him like you meant it, putting your soul out there so that it would meet theirs. All the anger you felt was channeled back into the kiss and you wanted them to choke on their own passion with the way you pressed yourself against them. Marc sighed against your lips and melted away, letting the body switch frantically between Steven, himself and Jake. When you finally felt satisfied you pulled away and gave them a small smile.

“You boys love me huh?” you brushed their fringe away from their face and looked into the eyes that held the only three that you would hand your heart to. “Well, I love you too, cowards.”

“Hey, watch who you’re calling a coward.” Steven’s hands gripped hard at your hips as he grinned up at you, leaning in and kissing you softly. 

After a while he brought his lips next to your ear, he whispers “This coward won’t let you borrow his books until he makes you forget your own name.”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head, wondering what awaited at the top of the poison tree you managed to climb up on. 

Reblogs are appreciated ~~~

Taglist: @fandxmslxt69 @randomnessfangirl @in-between-the-cafes @bodhisattva11 @marc-spectors-wife @nyotamalfoy @steven-grants-world @jbearre85 @whatsliferightnow @excitedcurtain864 @minigirl87 @wonderfulboiledcoldpotato @alexxavicry @autismsupermusicalassassin @flordelalunas @marygraceee @lia275 @euphoricosmo @sky-robin @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @sugarpunch-princess @violet-19999 @celiaswife @swiggy-needs-mental-help @ghostheartbeat @kierramofficial @ryebreadsworld @your-voice-is-mellifluous @lil-stark @absolutelybloodyhopeless @mintpurplemnm @spookyysilverr @bubblezuku

[2n2n]

Can you explain more or less what the mysteries of time did exactly in this chapter? I honestly got confused

That's fair! Happy to talk about my interpretation of anything. Be aware anyone you ask a question to has their own bias-- it might be helpful to reread the manga from start to finish, to better understand an arc, or look for things that foreshadowed it. I think Iro-sensei is actually remarkably good at regularly summarizing & connecting events!!!!

To start though, I'll try to go pretty chronologically in 'things we know'....

we already know the timeline we've been in isn't 'right'. It does not match up with Tsuchigomori's bookstacks, meaning, events have been tampered with in a way that betrays fate. The Clockkeepers are likely aware of this, too, given their power also deals with chronology.

The Clockkeepers have been-- likely this whole time-- waiting for the inevitable opportunity to understand what is going on. By their nature, they are patient.

Since the Broadcast Club is procedurally going through every Mystery & their Yorishiro, eventually the conflict would come to their door. All they needed to do was wait.

As Kako says, "I am never late". For all of the chaos caused in the school, he's rarely in a rush to fix it, and seems to often allow unpleasant things to commence, without concern for the impact on individuals in that little timeline.

(aside, I wonder what he was thinking when Amane said this, in a previous Trial to concern the chaos before the Severance? Another situation wherein Kako was patient, biding his time, & disinterested in rushing to fix the chaos. This is typical for Kako, it would seem. Akane calls him twisted for a reason...)

So, the time finally comes for the Broadcast Club to target the Clockkeepers. Kako holds a trial in order to study the likely culprits, & narrow it down to a sensible explanation. Between Mystery no. 7, his kannagi, and his yorishiro, and I guess Minamoto Teru, whose family legacy is tied to the God, something is 'amiss', and can explain all of this disarray.

Kako has a pragmatic mind. He is indifferent to how many people suffer, apparently including his own body! He is not angry, he does not lash out at Tsukasa for ripping him or Mirai apart. He's waiting patiently to understand.

In a way, this 'trial' is only a staged event, for Kako to wait for a meaningful piece of information to 'click' everything into place. As Amane and Tsukasa quarrel, he finally has the reasonable explanation for EVERYTHING in this timeline going off the rails...

What is that reasonable explanation?

The timeline has been tampered with by a God-- someone who can apparently act outside of the typical boundaries of human & kaii.

The God appears to be .... a body of water, perhaps? Whatever the case, it is connected to a body of water at the pit of a cavern. Sacrifices were thrown down a pit to this God in Sumire & Hakubo's time.

The Minamoto clan personally governed the raising & managing of these sacrifices in ancient times, so it makes sense Kako had suspected Teru of involvement, hence his inclusion in the trial.

Nene-chan met the withered souls of the past Kannagi beneath the Red House, the Yugi twin's family home.

The Well God beneath the Yugi family home is the same God Sumire & Hakubo's village relied on for safety & protection. If you tuned out of Sumire & Hakubo's story (many did, finding it irrelevant...), go back & reread it all!!!!

which Tsukasa had bonded with & given voice to,

and became merged with Tsukasa, somehow, during his stay in the Red House-- a space outside of time. Something about Tsukasa is different, from all of the other kannagi thrown to the cavernous pit... despite that he intended to sacrifice himself for Amane.

Tsukasa became entangled with it...

Humans historically prayed to this God & made offerings to it. This God granted wishes for a price, just like Amane & Tsukasa do. Aida-sensei recently depicted people praying to Tsukasa in the house, mirroring how people prayed to the God.

Sumire explains the Well God thoroughly in her arc:

Nene-chan also outlines how the Mysteries are some sort of new, alternate solution to relying upon sending sacrifices to the Well God in the Severance:

(the Mysteries themselves meanwhile, are described as being Pillars of God,

and seem to channel their powers from a central God... destruction of the Yorishiro is described by Sakura as "returning the power (to their) original form".

It's possible the Mysteries borrow THE Well God's power using the Yorishiro system, so as the Mysteries are peeled, Tsukasa's God-self sucks it in. This means destroying EVERY Yorishiro, returns 100% of the power to the God-- eventually even unspooling Tsukasa [for some reason, it will also kill Nene-chan, which might mean she also contains a portion of the God, keeping her alive?]. But that's getting into theorizing... so I won't dwell But I kinda say this so you are less confused later?).

Kako, having identified the God's presence within Tsukasa, is now going to go back in time to 'correct' the irregularities.

We see Kako go back in time to the year before the Yugi twin's murder-suicide or as it's often referred to as, shinjuu (lover's suicide). He goes to 1968-- the Yugi died together in 1969.

The Clockkeepers are going to create a new, 'fixed' timeline. They know Tsukasa is housing a God in his body, & has since he was young. They will stop Tsukasa, somehow, from being able to skew events.

We don't know what the new world will be like, and neither does Akane.

Meanwhile... Akane does not actually trust the Clockkeepers:

It would appear as if Akane has instructed Teru to perform some kind of ritual on Nene-chan, perhaps as a failsafe?

Akane has placed his trust in Nene-chan in the past, so maybe he wants to have assets to pull on, in the event the new timeline is in some way, bad for himself or Aoi.

Akane hopes the 'new present' is a good one. He is waiting to see for himself what the Clockkeepers are doing, and if it is actually good for any of them, or only good for themselves.

We know that, typically, when the Clockkeepers tamper with time, they take the memories of those involved in the affairs:

However, at the end of this recent chapter, we see Nene-chan register time has changed, confused & startled by the sudden reset.

which likely means that someone has ENSURED she will retain her memories of the previous timeline. Probably Akane & Teru! Aoi meanwhile, is likely ignorant.

(HOWEVER, it's also possible Nene-chan's high spiritual power alone could enable her memory retention...? Kako mentions high spiritual power could effect such a thing in the first Clockkeeper's arc. Kou's spiritual power is weak, so he's likely to lose his memories, but we don't really have a grasp of Nene-chan's... other than, Teru himself is quite surprised by her ability to bless away the mass cursing in the 'Kegare' chapter)

So in summation:

Tsukasa is confirmed to contain the Well God. The Well God is confirmed to be the ancient God from Sumire & Hakubo's time. Tsukasa is seen by the Clockkeepers as responsible for the timeline we have spent this entire manga in. The entire circumstances of the timeline have NOW been altered by doing something to Tsukasa or Amane in 1968. We are possibly now inside the 'corrected' timeline. Akane is observing this new timeline for irregularities. Nene-chan is also now observing it.

Everything that just happened with the Big Clock, Mitsuba, the chaos in the school, has been undone.

What does that entail? It's my blog so now I can extrapolate for fun-- for FUN!!--

Tsukasa is the reason Mitsuba could even be a simple ghost, and meet Kou as one at all. Does he even exist in this timeline? Will Kou have his old memories? Or would Teru prefer him mindwiped? (Kou was more agreeable & loyal to him before meeting Hanako & Mitsuba, after all)...

If the shinjuu was stopped & Tsukasa alone was plucked somehow, is Amane even no. 7? Is he even dead?

Are we in the bookstacks-recorded timeline? Or is this another timeline? Will we see multiple different timelines as the Clockkeepers try different solutions, or just the one?

is it a good thing, to make it so the shinjuu never happened?

will we, the readers, LIKE IT? or will we be scared & upset, as everything we had observed up until this point is utterly erased?

will Nene-chan recognize this as BETTER? is it what she WANTS?

will we want our original timeline BACK?

Nene-chan once wanted this...

.... but can she confess to 'Hanako', or be with him at all, in this world? Hanako-kun was a mononoke from the 1960s. We don't even know what bizarre events transpired to turn a normal tragic boy into a mononoke, and a School Mystery at that. It's likely never been 'correct' that he be with Nene-chan. That they know each other as teens at all feels like not only a huge fluke, but perhaps an elaborate orchestration (perhaps by someone who wants them to be together, perhaps by someone who can see many timelines and wants Amane's happiness, yet doesn't believe they can personally be loved by Amane directly... perhaps someone who met Nene-chan long ago, 'before' all of this, & knew she could love him, in some sort of space outside of time... hmm... ).

Nene-chan and Hanako-kun bonded as Mystery & his Kannagi, tasked with correcting the rumors flung into chaos by the Broadcast Club. Those are the circumstances they fell in love under.

Isn't it so exciting? We're going to learn so many lessons!!!!!! It's time to be grateful for what we had, MAYBE!!!!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I’m a little in denial about everything with Lilia but I gotta ask: Do you think Malleus OB can “fix” Lilia in a certain way? Like how sometimes hibernation gives second wind to animals (or how humans feel better after naps.

I am very well aware I’m grasping at straws. I just don’t want my tied for favorite boy to die.

I… don’t think that’s possible, no matter how much we may want it to be.

When Vil greets Lilia at the farewell party, he asks Lilia point-blank if there “really is no other way”. Vil recalls his own predicament returning from Styx HQ as a withered old man and how Malleus was able to restore him to his youth. He asks if Malleus can do the same for Lilia so he can retain his magic and stay enrolled at NRC. To this, Lilia explicitly states that is isn’t possible. “Malleus said it himself: he cannot turn back time.” The only reason Malleus could help Vil was because some external factor robbed Vil of his time; the same is not true of Lilia, who is losing his fight with time (something everyone will naturally succumb to eventually).

Things in the world of Twisted Wonderland are destined to move forward and change, in spite of how much one may wish to remain in their current blissful, carefree school days. All Malleus is doing now in his OB state is prolonging the inevitable because he cannot accept, nor reverse, that change. The whole point of these events and the buildup to it is that “no matter how much power or magic Malleus has, he cannot do anything to change his circumstances”.

Now, I don’t know if that necessarily means TWST will actually permakill Lilia (because he is an integral part of the main cast and marketing) 💦 If time loop or dream theory turns out to be real, then it’s possible some external forces or other deux ex machina could save Lilia…? But at the same time, saving Lilia would kind of detract from what Malleus would have to learn about mortality, friendships, and change. I have no idea what direction the story is planning to go with him from hereon out or how dark the devs will be allowed to go. We’re waiting with baited breath for what’s next 🥲

Side note, I wanted to share something I noticed while thinking about how to respond to this question. So… the wording of the ask is very telling and reflective of the current state of the TWST fandom. “I’m a little in denial about everything […]”, and, “I am very well aware I’m grasping at straws. I just don’t want […]” Don’t we realize it???? We sound exactly like Malleus. We’re in denial about what’s happening and we don’t want things to change.

I wonder if this was planned out from the very beginning. The devs getting us invested in the world of TWST and its characters, only to threaten to take it all away at the very end. This relates exactly with lines Malleus drops about his beloved virtual pet: “Gao-Gao Dragon-kun is fictitious, he more or less exists in a fairy tale. If that is the case, then I don’t see a reason to put a (30 day limit) on his lifespan.” Lilia chimes in, agreeing that it is like a “never ending fantasy”, but then points out that it is because you need to eventually say goodbye that you will cherish the time spent together all the more. Notice their phrasing, all the references to desiring a fairy tale which never ends. That is what we, the players AND Malleus, want. We want to stay like this, forever and ever, locked in one place. We don’t want Lilia to go, we don’t want the third years to leave on their internships, we don’t want the students to graduate and leave us.

This is what fiction like TWST provides for us, an escape from reality, where magical things happen and we’re surrounded by fun people who always stay with you no matter how much you change in the real world—and now TWST is challenging that notion. Is it really right to want to live in an eternal dream like this, at the cost of fabricating your happiness?? Or is it better to wake up and face reality, no matter how harsh it may be?? Even if our loved ones will leave, even if Lilia will die? This is both what Malleus and we, the players, need to come to terms with, rather than continue to delude and convince ourselves to stay in “the dream” with a false sense of security.

[astranite]

Protective is an Emotion

John and Virgil, with younger Tracies. This started off with me wanting to write John being the protective big brother and went from there. Might be a 2nd and 3rd chapter as there be ideas for them. Rather angsty so far but there shall be some hurt/comforting. John and Virgil are both autistic as I am always writing them that way tis just more obvious here.

Warnings for bullying.

---

John walked through the crowded school yard, head down, one hand tightly wrapped around the shoulder strap of his backpack. The cacophony of bodies and noise pressed in on him, the typical state of students at break time, rowdy, clamoring and far too numerous. 

He wouldn't have stopped usually, have kept pressing through until he got to the doors of the library and inside, where it was finally, thankfully quiet and he could breathe. But something caught his eye, an aberration in the pattern of swirling students and harried staff members. 

At the base of the concrete stairs leading to the art block building was a knot of students. It wasn't out of the ordinary for teenagers to gather there, half blocking the walkway for people who wanted to get past until a teacher inevitably told them off and then they inevitably returned to position as soon as said teacher was out of sight. But it still pinged in John’s brain as an important detail even before he quite realised. 

The teenagers looked to be a couple of grades below him. They formed a wall of bodies against the art building, intention all focused inward. John caught a glimpse of dark hair and flash of colourful canvas between them.

The final piece of the puzzle: Virgil had started attending the same highschool as Scott and John, beginning this week.

It could be fine, maybe it was fine, maybe the kids in Virgil’s grade would treat Virgil better than John’s supposed peers had ever done to him.

But John preferred hard evidence and he didn't put much stock in the good of humanity when it came to teenagers forced into close proximity by the mass education institution known as a school. 

Best case scenario, John could say hi and check in on Virgil, then leave him to hang out with his new friends without his weird ginger brother butting in on the conversation, and ask Virgil to tell him about them and how his day was on the bus home from school.

Worst case scenario? Well, that was why John was striding towards the group, chin up and shoulders back, doing his best to use his lanky height to get through the crowd and mimic Scott when he had something to prove. Because he was the big brother here and if there was the slightest chance Virgil needed him, that meant John was all the way in a heartbeat.

“Hey, what’s going on here?” John smiled, showing his teeth. 

Start nice, start friendly, better not to let them see a potential threat coming. If there needed to be a threat, which John sorely hoped there wouldn’t.

Several of the students jumped, whipped their heads around.

“Who’re you?” One challenged.

John made full eye contact with the teen. “I’m John Tracy.” 

The other boy looked away first. 

“We’re just talking. What’s your problem?” Another teen, closest to Virgil and pressing in on his personal space as Virgil leaned away added.

“Yeah, we’re talking,” A different student, John couldn't keep track of the faces. Then directed at Virgil: “Aren’t you going to tell us what you drew?”

They all looked to Virgil, like this was some kind of gotcha instead of an innocent question as John’s instincts screamed this was a trap.

He’d been here before. John swallowed hard.  They weren’t— It wasn’t— Appearances could be deceiving and some people didn't know when to stop because they liked the feeling of having power over others.

“Come on, give us an answer. Or is it music again, which is a sound that you hear?” A voice twisted to mocking.

Virgil was clutching his sketchbook and a canvas covered in vividly painted patterns to his chest. The concrete stairwell wall was up against his back, blocking off the exits as pleading brown eyes found John, lips mouthing his name. 

Virgil was scared, these teens were taunting him, even though there was nothing he would have done to deserve it, no one deserved it, especially not his kindest brother who wore his heart on his sleeve and wanted to help everyone. He wasn’t as strange or sharp-edged as John…

“Stop. Just stop,” John said. Blurted out, because he wished Scott was here, Scott would know what to do to fix this. John needed his big brother right now too.

One of the teens nudged Virgil in the ribs quicker than John could cross the circle to get to him. Virgil flinched and shrunk further inwards on himself, humming under his breath, the pitch rising. 

John saw red. He forced his way through the gathered teens to put himself between them and Virgil, protectiveness surging enough to take his breath away. He’d tear them apart with his teeth if that would make them leave Virgil alone. 

But it wouldn’t. And he wasn’t Scott, he was just John. He could calculate the forces involved better than he could throw a punch because he was too clumsy to be on the sports teams and didn't really want to be anyway, and he was tall like a plant that grew too fast without enough sun instead of tall and athletic, and he was only a year older than these kids no matter that he was in Scott’s grade, and he’d never won a fight when it was him because it had never ended.

Analysing variables was his language: a) he and Virgil would never win now if it came to fighting because bullies liked to outnumber you, b) getting himself suspended trying would only mean he wasn't there to protect Virgil and it would be another thing Scott would have to deal with dumped on his shoulders, and c) the smart option was to get out now.

The teens were between laughter at them and indignation, a volatile combination. Spilt rocket fuel in the school yard. 

John dropped any semblance left of the polite expression he’d been wearing. Gave the blank, emotionless, nothing look, because he knew it unnerved people even though it was just his normal face. Stared unblinkingly into the eyes of the teen directly in front of him, because apparently it was uncanny even when he didn’t mean it as a threat, the same intimidation of a barn yard cat eyeing up its prey. Somewhere that hurt but it was buried amongst John’s roiling emotions. He could use it though.

“We are going,” he stated flatly. He couldn’t think of anything else to say, the protagonists in John’s books always had a snappy line at this point except he didn’t.

He tried to give Virgil as much warning as he could, saying his name before seizing his hand.  

John broke the path, somewhat dragging Virgil with him even as he did his best to be gentle because he really didn't want to hurt his brother and he knew how scary it was, but getting away was more important right now. 

He pushed past the other students, shuddering when a grab was made at his arm and shaking it off. The boy in question loudly played what they’d done to Virgil like it was a big, friendly joke, like it wasn’t one hundred percent purposeful, couldn’t any Tracy just take a joke.

“Can’t even say anything about his own stupid drawing,” The same teen muttered to their retreating backs. 

By how Virgil’s grip went suddenly crushingly tight on his hand, John knew he had heard every word.

[horizon-verizon]

Alicent actively partaking in Criston breaking his oath makes a lot of sense. Would a rigtheous and virtuous person cover up rapes and abuse ??

Most sexual conservatives/religious fanatics are total hypocrites in real life.

And her husband being dead doesn’t erase the fornication factor and how having sex out of wedlock, especially for women, is a sin.

Okay. I said that we needed the journey of her getting there, though? Because that would really make the character better, rounder, so we have the breadth of said hypocrisy and how people delude themselves while telling others, sincerely, that they are the "sinners". Some of us knew Alicent was hypocritical since at least epi 2 of S1. However, this doesn't mean that she'd inevitably sleep with Criston of all people, or anyone. A possibility =/= an inevitability for every single conservative hypocrite, bc you can be a hypocrite in many ways. Some conservative women absolutely don't sleep around on their husbands while they preach sexual purity. Some actually do take some rules about sexuality very seriously. They'd still be hypocrites if they allow their sons to rape without consequences or protect them or claim the victim (sometimes a "good" Christian girl herself) was "seducing" him. Which many do.

Once again, it's important for us to see these two develop a relationship in at least 1 written out dialouge-action scenes and not just glances or relatively quick moments of clutching that could just as easily just as translate to just frustration and desperation (epi 7, when Alicent tries to get Criston to stab out Luke's eye and he refuses), esp when the scenes are pretty chaoticly written back to back or when t's just a scenes that addresses one huge story element (this case, the boy's parentage, what this means for the line of succession, the confrontation aspect of it all. Along with Alicent's anger with Viserys. This scene in particular didn't lend to affair-having on Alicent's end; there was no moment where we saw Alicent speaking to Cole and accidentally look "funny" at him). Because while they were doing all that, the show would have other shit going on simultaneously or do quick cuts from those teeny-tiny moments to some other grand part of the scene. One example is when some person uploaded the moment Alicent went behind Cole/he went forward when Rhaenys came up the floor. We immediately went to several different moments: Helaena, Alicent going towards Aegon, Aemond, etc. It was a chaotic scene and people wanted to take everything in.

Some people do not engage in articles written about this show or rarely do bc they wish to see the project for what it is and what it writes for itself, and the project--without reading any outside articles--makes it so that Alicole was a possibility, but not an inevitability.

I know about Alicent looking up a little up at Cole in one scene. Again, that doesn't make up for the affirmation of this PLUS an actual scene where they speak flirtatiously. Because Alicent was also trying to be secretive for something else I can't remember.

Finally, the pacing of the entire season was very fast, the relationships were not allowed to really breathe so we may see the contours of each one at court, etc. More details, more scenes add depth to characters' actions and color to engage more viewers so they'd take notice when said stark moments of attraction exist later on. The flatness of the emotion aside from shock plus the fast pace make it easy to miss whatever, esp when they are tiny compared to everything else. Such sceneless-ness is a tactic of storytelling for a reason, when storytellers want to create a plot twist. Put in some bits of suggestions, some people get it or hope for it or dread it, others don't notice. So this all just makes it very clear that the show intended for this to be a surprise. Esp when Matt Smith/Fabien both started laughing after Matt made the joke after Fabien accidentally let it slip.

HotD's Alicole is simply something they did to hammer in that fact about Alicent AND bc they don't know what else to do with her since she doesn't do much during the war itself aside from a few notable events.

So no, the writing, eh. It is valid for people to not think alicole was a thing BEFORE this announcement. They still thought of her as a hypocrite without actually thinking she'd ever sleep with Cole. And claiming that "it was obvious" is leaning towards obnoxiousness.

Yes, widows are still subject to chastity and purity culture.

[malfoysprinces]

The Minister’s Daughter

- draco malfoy -

PART 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Expected. That was the damn word. That was the word which could explain the break-up. However, expecting something doesn’t mean it would not sting like hell.

So, the inevitable happened.

Draco called it quits without a single ounce of doubt that night. It all unfolded so damn fast, as if he'd been following some twisted plan from the start.

Y/N had endured Draco's ice-cold demeanor for nearly three freaking months. She stayed, convinced that somewhere beneath the ice, he still loved her until that moment.

“Y/N?” Draco knocked Y/N dorm’s door.

“Come in, Dray.” she recognized the voice.

“Hi. I thought you were busy this afternoon. You told me that—” Y/N was interrupted.

“I need to talk to you.” Draco said. He jumped right into the conclusion. “I don’t think this is working out. It actually hasn’t been working out for a while. As you may notice.” Draco looked away.

Straightforward.

“I-I…wha- what are you implying?" Y/N's voice trembled, her heart pounding a frantic rhythm.

“I am saying that it is over. I don’t feel anything about you. Not anymore. We are over.” Draco's face remained a cold, emotionless mask.

Y/N was shaking. Visibly shaking.

“I-I..This—Us--..” She struggled to find the right words, her mind a chaotic whirlwind.

“I think I made myself perfectly clear. There is no us now.” Draco turned his back to leave.

Her whole world shattered in a split moment. Never in a million years she thought he would leave her like that. Her body was trembling, her hands were shaking, her mind was blurred but most of all didn't seem to matter because she could swear that the man standing in front of her was nobody but a stranger from now on.

It all happened so fast that it was almost like she had already lost him, now he was only making it clear to her.

Y/N was speechless.

Y/N had steeled herself for the inevitable breakup, but the searing pain it unleashed was far from predictable. In that heart-wrenching moment, Draco, as per his usual demeanor, revealed nothing. His face was an inscrutable mask, devoid of any discernible emotion. It was as if he'd rehearsed this scenario a thousand times before, leaving Y/N drowning in a sea of uncertainty, her emotions tumultuously churning beneath the surface.

The world continued to turn, but Y/N was caught in a timeless limbo, her heart unable to mend in the wake of the breakup. It felt like a battle against the weight of her emotions, a struggle to reclaim a sense of self that had been shattered and scattered in the lost love.

The aftermath of the break-up was predictable. Two ruined people. Two shattered hearts. Two lost souls. She was nothing more than a ghost. She was not sleeping, not eating, not even living. She was lost in her thoughts. His touch, his kiss, his gaze, how she felt in his arms were something that she would miss for the eternity. She stood by his during every argument, every dispute, she even stopped talking to her friend Graham for him. She would push away anyone and everyone for him. But why was this wasn't enough for him? Where did it all go wrong? She was sure that somewhere along the line she started doing too much, and he was not doing enough. Her thoughts was eating her alive. She couldn't cry even if she wanted to. She was in a shock mode. She couldn't react. She couldn't breathe or think or see. She was just lost in the moment he walked away from her.

Why did he leave her?

He told her that he had lost feelings for her which obviously wasn't the case. She knew that behind his thought facade, there is a delicate boy who just wants to make her happy. However, this doesn't seem right.

Later that evening, she decided to take a stroll through the corridors of Hogwarts. Every corner, every hidden spot consisted of a memory of Draco. Everything in Hogwarts was meaningful to her because of him. Not so long ago, they were kissing at the Astronomy Tower. Not so long ago, they were finding peace in each other’s arms. There was not any possible universe that they would not be together. He would choose her in every possibility, she would belong to him in every possibility. However, not in this one.

After a week of avoiding Draco at all costs, Y/N finally decided to show up for breakfast. It was the same Great Hall, the same food, the same people. No but it actually wasn't. Nothing was ever going to be the same. The man that she loves loved loves has turned into a complete stranger. Now she had to face him. In class, if not at breakfast. In common room, if not at halls. She wasn't sure if she would be able to look him in the eye anymore. He had broken her so much that she was numb eventually. She reached the point of doubting if she had a heart anymore. On the other, she knew that she had to leave her room at some point. Wouldn't matter if today or any other day.

As she entered The Great Hall, she instantly spotted Pansy talking with Adrian Pucey. She decided to join them.

"Hi, Y/N." said Pansy as Y/N was approaching them.

"Morning guys." Y/N answered trying to keep her eyes on them.

However, for a split moment, she turned to sit down and spotted a blonde silhouette. She turned her gaze immediately. It was her first time being in the same room with Draco since their break-up. He seemed to mind his own business tho. He was having breakfast with Theo. Him and Theo were always close but somehow they seemed to be closer for past three months now if that's possible. It was weird sitting in the same room as him but ignoring each other completely. The familiar surroundings had turned into a strange and cold place, mirroring the distance that had grown between her and Draco. Y/N couldn't even finish her breakfast. She had lost her appetite since the break-up. It was almost like she lived with a constant nausea that prevented her from eating. Regularly.

It was not until Pansy grabbed her arm that she realized it was time for class. Y/N entered the classroom. She walked towards her usual spot. Next to Draco. Only to find out that he already switched his seat. Of course he did. He doesn't love you anymore, remember? she thought to herself.

His last words echoed in her head "There is no us now."

A month into the break-up. Still no contact from Draco. Meaning Y/N had her heart as a open wound for a month now. Unhealed and aching.

She was late for charms class. It was the last class for that afternoon. However, corridors were busier than ever. The castle seemed to conspire against her, with moving staircases and hidden passages testing her patience.

In the bustling corridors of Hogwarts, Y/N navigated through the maze of students, her thoughts consumed by the weight of recent events. Lost in her own world of thoughts, she didn't see the figure approaching from the opposite direction. With an unexpected bump, Y/N collided with another student, nearly sending her books and parchment flying. She staggered back a step, her hand pressed against her chest in shock. It was then that she glanced up, her wide eyes meeting a familiar pair of grey ones.

"Y/N." he spoke softly, almost hesitantly, as if the name was a secret he'd been keeping. "Are you okay ?" he asked.

Draco's expression remained unreadable, but there was a hint of something in his eyes.

Y/N nodded.

Then she quickly took her gaze away from his. Draco crouched down to help her, their hands brushing slightly as they reached for the same parchment. Draco's hand, cooler than Y/N remembered, held a subtle tension in his fingers. In that fleeting moment of contact, their intertwined hands seemed to carry the weight of scars that they caused each other. Everything around them blurred, fading into insignificance, their emotions echoing in that touch. It sent shivers down Y/N's spine.

Once their belongings were sorted, they found themselves standing face to face, an unspoken tension filling the air. The bustling hallway around them seemed to fade into the background as they exchanged a lingering look. It was as though the world had paused just for them.

Then, a group of students jostled past, breaking the moment. Y/N and Draco stepped aside, heading in opposite directions.

Their little bump was still on her mind when she entered her dorm.

"I'll wear the purple one." Pansy said pointing a dress to Daphne.

"Date night with Pucey?" Y/N asked.

"Well, that's one way to put it." Daphne answered, gigling.

"Don't tell me you don't remember the tonight's party Y/N!" Pansy was in shock.

"Wha--Oh, yeah I do." Y/N answered.

The party. Completely slipped out of her mind. She was definetly not in the mood for a party to be honest.

"But, I think I'll just skip this one." Y/N added.

"Come on! It will be fun. Besides, it will be distraction from Dra- everything that's been going on." Pansy said.

"Also, Pansy has got a date! Don't leave me alone!" Daphne insisted.

A little distraction didn't seem so bad after all.

"Well, if you guys says so." Y/N decided to go to the party.

The Slytherin Common Room was transformed into a scene of opulent decadence for the night's party. Dimly lit by the soft glow of emerald and silver candles, the room exuded an air of mystery and sophistication. The walls were adorned with tapestries featuring serpentine motifs, and rich, forest-green draperies hung gracefully, casting intricate patterns of shadows across the space. In the dimly lit Slytherin Common Room, the atmosphere was charged with tension.

Draco and Y/N, once inseparable in their love, now stood worlds apart. Draco's heartache had driven him to make the excruciating decision to end their relationship. Yet, his love for her remained a constant but buried beneath layers of darkness. As the night wore on, a masquerade of indifference clung to Draco's facade as he watched from the shadows. The party's laughter and clinking of glasses seemed a distant echo in his ears.

Then, a game of spin the bottle began, and Y/N was drawn into it, Draco's stormy gray eyes were locked onto the scene unfolding before him. Y/N went on to join the game of spin the bottle. It was a spontaneous, almost reckless choice, born of the night's charged atmosphere.

He had watched as Y/N, the love he had once held so close, gracefully spun the bottle, her laughter filling the room. As the bottle spun, landing on a random Slytherin, Draco couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight of Y/N, her face bathed in the soft, greenish glow of the common room .

The bottle had landed on a nameless face, and in that moment, Y/N couldn't have cared less about his identity. Her mind was a tumult of emotions, and she needed a distraction, an escape from the thought of Draco that had been consuming her.

The guy approached her, but Y/N remained untouched by any thrill or excitement.

Without a hesitation Y/N let him kiss her.

His kiss was a hollow gesture, devoid of any real emotion or connection.

Jealousy and pain surged through Draco as their lips met. He clenched his fists, his knuckles whitening as he yearned to be the one to hold her, to feel her lips against his own. The room blurred around him as he struggled to conceal his anguish, a silent scream echoing within his tormented soul. At that moment, amidst the chaos of the party, Draco's love for Y/N burned brighter than ever, though he remained a prisoner of his own sacrifices. However Y/N on the other hand, decided to leave the game.

She decided that she had to call it a night here, so she wouldn't regret it the next day. She showed no emotions, no reactions. She just walked away from the guy that just kissed her.

The kiss didn't mean anything to her.

She was walking towards the stairs when she felt someone grabbing her arm. Oh, she wanted it to be Draco. She wanted it to be Draco so badly. She longed for it to be Draco.

However, it wasn't. It was the guy she had just kissed. She didn't even have the care in the world to ask for his name.

"Y/N?" he approached.

What was his name again?

"You-how do you know my name?" Y/N asked in a surprise.

"I mean-- Everyone in this school kinda does." he answers.

"Yeah" she nodded.

"What did you need?" she asked.

"Nothing. I just- just...The kiss was.." he couldn't find the right words.

"Kiss was what?" Y/N said in a cold tone.

Draco was still watching Y/N. What he felt was a jealousy born of the deep affection he still held for her, a possessiveness that he had never truly let go of. He wanted to rip that guys throat off. He really did want it.

"You know what, why don't I try kissing you again?" the guy leaned in.

"Oh, no thanks, I'll pass." Y/N didn't have a care in the world about this guy.

"Give me a chance to prove it to you." he insisted.

"Prove what? What is there to prove?" Y/N asked mockingly.

"Just let it happen, you won't regret it I promise." he took a step closer to Y/N, and all of a sudden their lips touched again.

As the guy's lips pressed against Y/N's once more, the atmosphere became charged with tension. Y/N had long lost her ability to feel. She was completely numb after Draco left.

Unbeknownst to her, Draco was watching all this from afar.

However, the guy's lips were gone in the blink of an eye. Y/N opened her eyes, only to find out Draco got the guy pinned against a wall, punching him.

The first punch happened so fast that it was hard to follow. It landed on the guy's face with a loud thud. The room went completely silent, and all that could be heard was the sound of Draco's fists hitting the guy. It was like watching a brutal act of violence.

"Oh for Salazar's sake! Draco!" Y/N was in shock.

Draco was punching the guy, non-stop. It was almost like he zoned out.

"Draco just stop!" Y/N shouted at Draco again. The guy, trapped against the wall, tried to defend himself, but he couldn't do much. His face showed pain and confusion with every hit. Each punch echoed through the room, creating a disturbing rhythm.

Y/N stepped in between them. Taking Draco away from the guy. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" Y/N asked.

Draco scoffed, and by now, everyone at the Slytherin party had gathered around them. 

Y/N whispered"I am so sorry." to the guy and dragged Draco outside.

As Y/N guided Draco out of the bustling room, both of them were seething with anger. The change from the loud party to the quiet hallway didn't cool their anger one bit. Their footsteps echoed in the hushed corridor, punctuated by the tension between them. Y/N's grip on Draco's arm was firm, reflecting her frustration, and it was a silent signal that they needed to have a serious conversation away from the prying eyes of the party.

"What the fuck was that?" Y/N asked to Draco.

He was fueled with anger. His eyes were boiling with anger.

"Answer me, Draco. What the fuck did you just do there!" shouted Y/N.

Draco lifted his head and looked away.

"LOOK. ME. IN. THE. FUCKING. EYE." Y/N held his chin and turned his head towards her.

His stormy grey eyes were on her hazel eyes. They were face to face now, just like a thousand years before when they had last looked at each other this way. So close, yet so far.

She shook her head and cleared her thoughts.

Looked him in the eye again, demanding an explanation.

"He was kissing you." Draco said.

Y/N didn't answer.

"That stupid spin the bottle game was one thing. But walking up to you? Who the fuck is he to come even a mile close to you?" Draco's anger was written all over his face.

Beneath the façade of anger, Draco's eyes revealed a deep hurt. He had acted impulsively to protect what he perceived as his territory, but as he faced Y/N alone, his anger had given way to vulnerability. He still cared deeply for Y/N, and the kiss had stirred up intense jealousy and possessiveness, making him confront the reality that Y/N was no longer his. "I'll bury him alive." he added.

"What? Draco, no? You don't get to do this." words came out of Y/N's mouth in a second. "You don't get to decide who I kiss, not anymore." Y/N finally said it.

She wanted to assert that she was no longer under Draco's control or influence, especially after he had left her behind. Beneath her words, there was a lingering sense of hurt.

Draco looked away again.

"I am not yours to keep Draco. Not since when you left." said Y/N. Her eyes were fueled with anger.

Draco stood silently, waiting for Y/N to take her words back.

But she didn't.

"Where does it leave me then?" Draco said in pain. His emotions were a turbulent mix of frustration, longing, and a sense of loss.

"Nowhere, I guess." she answers.

Draco looked Y/N in the eye one last time and turned around to leave.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

[saiyanandproud]

Let's go with uuuuh 17, 18, aaaand 29

Munday Mumbling Asks - send a number for me to talk about one of the following topics!

17. Fanon interpretations

I guess fanon interpretations are unavoidable in a fandom -- even just by watching a show and giving one's own thoughts on the motivations behind a character's actions, one inevitably makes a fanon interpretation -- simply, the more they stray off from the original content, the more... Personalised and creative they can become. I think, like anything in RP, the issue is not as much as what the interpretation is, but how it's played out. I RPed with muns who introduced a canon character as trans, and though I was... Quite confused at first, their writing was just so good, and the way they incorporated their interpretation with the muse so fitting, that I ended up having a really great time. Especially with so many people taking on similar muses, the way everyone plays their own version can make it unique and offer different writing experiences, so, to be honest, bless that. Now, one's own interpretation could not be everyone's cup of tea -- which, fair, and the easiest solution is to simply not engage rather than actively antagonising it or -- worse -- throwing shade at it. But my personal advise is to study the mutual, see their writing, before deciding whether or not you'd like to interact with them just because their interpretation of the character is different, or unusual. If you keep an open mind, RPing can give you some pretty awesome surprises.

18. Shipping

Who doesn't love shipping. We all do, let's be honest. I certainly do. This being said, I need it to have certain elements for me to make the experience worthwile and engaging. Kinda like a recipe, a good shipping needs the right ingredients, and the ones I'll mention are simply those thay work for me. First of all, some plotting. My best experiences came from both me and my mutual hinting that we saw some potential, and discussing how we wanted to play it out: the potential narrative twists, how they would have impacted the character, if it was going to have a happy ending (it's not for granted!) and what would happen next. Second, a good build up. Sure, dash-shenanigans allow flexibility and to jump from point to point, but for me to enjoy the ship, I need the actual writing to take place somewhere, behind the curtains through intense plotting even, but I need to know where the muses stand and how they feel about it. As fun as they are, dash shenanigans to me do not equal character writing unless otherwise discussed with the mutual. Similarly, having shippy interactions through dash shenanigans can feel quite void if there isn't an actual build up of the relationship behind it. Third, how to feed it. Shipping is like a fire, you need to give it right and constant fuel -- AKA creativity. Just because the couple is established, it doesn't mean there can't be further challenges for the relationship dynamics. How about hidden fears? Secrets that have never been confessed? Arguments? Everything can shape it further and give more fun to the writing! And last but not least -- mutual respect. Just like in any RP dynamic, nothing should be forced onto the mutual. If there seems to be a disagreement, it's important to work around it and find a good solution, or a compromise -- or, as sad as it can be, accept that the ship is maybe not meant to be. And, well, at least there's a chance to write the break-up. Painful maybe, but still an engaging chance if you're up to take it.

29. Blocking

Blocking is a user's right, basically. I've used it on a few occasions, and not necessarily because I had beef with the other user. Sometimes, there can be some content that can embitter the dash experience for whatever reason, and in that case blocking can be a quick, painless solution. This being said, I've only resolved to this when I didn't have much of a relationship with the other mutual -- I wasn't going to miss them, and they likely weren't going to miss me, maybe because there was never an actual, constant interaction between us. I have never blocked a mutual I had a good or frequent enough relationship with; firstly because I never had a reason to (luckily), and secondly because I usually prefer to discuss potential issues before resolving to blocking the other person. This would be my usual go-to advice, as well as an open invitation to come talk to me if there is ever something that's causing tension or perceived as such. I always appreciate a constructive confrontation, and would rather have a tough discussion and solve it rather than losing a potential mutual without knowing why. But again, to each their own.

[happilylovingchaos]

Last @lonestar-s5countdown Beginnings and Endings Week Post

I have a new work schedule now! And Lone Star is ending with season 5 real soon! That’s been fun getting used to… (/s) so I’ll post my fanfic/ music recs as one post tomorrow. Let’s see how much I can post w/o this becoming a complete image-less wall of stream-of-consciousness… but it will still be inevitable to everyone in the LS fandom who follows my handle and welcomed me. And if I haven’t said it yet, or enough, or sincerely in the last almost-year, thank you. Just thank you for your niceness, all your everything you’ve expressed, letting me be part of the fan group! I really really hope the end of the show doesn’t mean the end of this community, but whatever happens, it’s been a hella exhilarating, emotional, and lively experience.

(1) Which 911 Lone Star season premier is your favorite?

It’s a draw between seasons 2 and 4– I like the season premieres of 1 and 3 as much as everyone but holy hell I was not ready for the emotional twists in them to hit me the way they did. I am still in emotional recovery in both the good and bad ways. Both 2 and 4, until their respective cliffhangers, were quite light-hearted and self-contained with hints at the storylines to come, and those were easier for me to enjoy. Plus, Tommy, Gwyn and Iris (re-debut, in Iris’ case) had some colorful debuts! (I will always wish that Owen and Gwyn’s characters had a little more time together outside of the wit/ playfulness/ vitriol, and a couple more scenes with TK without their son always needing to be middle-man. But Rob, Lisa and Ronen played off of each other so well!) Gina’s portrayal of Tommy was just magnetically charismatic even without Michelle there— ‘Nuff said. And while I had issues with Iris’ bluntness (especially since it sorta re-opened some of TK’s emotional wounds), I could relate to being on both sides of a conversation in a similar situation to her— seeming hard to read/ confusing to most everyone around her (sometimes even with trusted family/ friends), and being confused/ offended by the delivery of what we convey.

(2) Which character do you think had the best introduction or first scene in the show?

I’m gonna say… it’s a toss-up between Judd and Grace for their natural first integration into the story and the first successful show>tell moment about them (specially Judd) in the series, Marjan (social media firefighter Muslim badass, in a description), and Mateo (for his own intro as unassuming but more than capable— Julian nails the portrayal of this character archetype in LS and The Long Game). Confusingly honorable mention goes to Michelle in hindsight, though? To me, she’s okay as a character, but I do understand where some fans were put off by her personality/ Liv’s portrayal.

(3) What is your favorite moment of 1x01?

Judd officially starting his end of the friendship with Owen by strong-arming him into accepting a chocolate chip cookie— you try saying no to a big Texan guy played by Jim Parrack and a mom and daughter holding a platter of chocolate chip cookies. Really, it’s tricky and you will probably get on their respective neutral if not shit lists. And Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” was quite a bop to end on! (Though, how did people find that wild? Just a little confused.)

(4) How did you first start watching Lone Star and how did you find out about it?

My aunt showed my mom and me the first parts of season 3– I saw… looking back on it, I’m a bit fuzzy on details but sometime in 2022 (def not consecutive days tho), I think I saw part of 3x04, then 3x07, and all of 3x08. And that last episode made me sob, I’m not ashamed to admit it now or in my grief week post. (My mom, grandma, uncle and aunt were watching it with me at dinner and were very confused about why I was crying.) Then I saw the last 3 eps, and it got me curious/hooked, so I went into season 4 kinda blind. Then I downloaded Hulu to catch up on the series proper, and the rest is rewatch history.

(5) What is one wish you have for the season 5 premiere?

Mostly that the overall narratives don’t feel too rushed or forced should there be a timeskip? I hate that Fox couldn’t get the show renewed… but on a lighter note? I’d like a solid explanation/ in-character reason for Grace’s absence that IS NOT a character death, a breakup, or anything relating to misblaming Wyatt.

Open tag to everyone as well!

[shefanispeculator]

For every new star on the recording scene, there is at least one unheralded industry drone without whom that star might never have shone. In the case of Blake Shelton, who is about to receive his well-deserved Hollywood Walk of Fame star after more than two decades as one of country music’s best, there are probably more like a dozen heroes who made Blake’s incredible career possible.

One of those heroes is your humble Nashville correspondent, me. No, that’s the truth. Once or twice in your life the impossible hits you between the eyes and you need to be prepared if you want to turn it into pure sunshine before the inevitable eclipse drifts in.

One day in 1995 or 1996 I got a call from Jim Sharpe, then publisher of American Songwriter magazine.  He had found this big kid from Oklahoma, best singer he’d ever heard, would I like to come by the office to hear him sing?  “Why?” I asked. You see, I was trying to dodge what the gods were hurling at me.  I was done with the music business. I would just be a waste of this kid’s time.

But a week or two later found me in Sharpe’s office shaking hands with this kid, six-foot-four, great looking, with a big, black cowboy hat, big black Takamine guitar, a voice so huge it shook the walls of Sharpe’s office, and a laugh to match.

I was hooked, and soon we were writing songs together every Tuesday.

But nothing further happened until a couple from California hired me to run their music publishing company. We signed Shelton to a publishing deal. And then nothing more happened. I learned that he’d already been turned down by labels all over Music Row, talent be damned.

Now comes the big twist in the story.

I’m not the hero, after all.  The hero is a guy I’m about to call. Bobby Braddock has written or co-written many of country music’s biggest hits, including “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” “I Wanna Talk About Me,” “People Are Crazy,” “Golden Ring,” “Time Marches On” and “D-I-V-O-R-C-E.”  He also produces terrific demos and he’s always wanted to produce records.

The call goes like this:

“Hello, Homer (his phone name is Homer, and mine is Jethro). I’ve got something I want you to hear.” I’m holding an old microcassette tape recorder in my right hand, and a telephone receiver in my left. This phone call is high-tech. I push the recorder flush against my telephone mouthpiece and press the start button. Homer listens to Blake sing for a little more than two minutes.  When the tape has finished playing, Bobby speaks.

“The song is OK, but who’s that singer?”

“He’s 20 years old and we signed him a couple of months ago,” I reply.

“He sounds like a young Hank Jr. Can I meet him?”

The three of us met at Braddock’s house and Braddock and Shelton hit it off immediately. Braddock agreed to produce Shelton, and Braddock persuaded his publishing company, Sony/ATV Music, to pay for the session. That’s a big deal, to get a producer and publisher to put time and money into a session.  But the hard part is not cutting the session — it’s getting a record company to love the session and sign the artist.

Armed with the fresh recording, Braddock hit the pavement. One label at a time. Fortunately, in 1998, there were still a lot of record labels left in Nashville.

“I took Blake’s CD all over town,” says Braddock. “RCA showed some interest, but they passed. Arista Records showed enough interest to request a showcase, and we gave it to them, then they passed. I was running out of record labels. The last label I went to was Giant Records, an affiliate of Warner Bros. Doug Johnson listened hard. And he said yes.”

Now life got tougher. Braddock produced an album by Shelton. Virtually everybody at the label loved it. Braddock, Shelton and a whole lot of other people waited for the album to be released. And they waited. People wondered why they waited.

Then Debbie Zavitson, a stalwart of Giant Records’ A&R department, received a CD from publisher Jana Talbot of a special song called “Austin,” written by David Kent and Kirsti Manna. Braddock, Shelton and a handful of great session players went to Sound Stage recording studio on Music Circle South and cut “Austin” and two other songs. Braddock recalls that the label had picked another song for the first single, but he had sent copies of the session to several friends and they felt that “Austin” was the hit. He took this new information from “the people,” and, he says, convinced the label to go with “Austin” instead. Then they waited, and while they waited, rumors circulated that Giant Records might soon be closing down.

“It took Giant three years to put out Blake’s record,” says Braddock, his brow furrowed in puzzlement over the memory. “And it never would have gotten out at all, if it hadn’t been for Fritz Kuhlman!”

Braddock would later refer to Kuhlman as “the promotion man who committed mutiny.” Kuhlman had heard the rumors about Giant, and while he was not a powerful executive at the label, he did have the ability to send out copies of “Austin” to country radio stations all over the country. And that’s just what he did, because he believed in “Austin.” 

Stations began to play “Austin,” but Giant closed its doors anyway. By this time it didn’t matter. “Austin” was hot with or without a label. Giant’s parent company, Warner Bros., picked up the record and ran with it, and thanks to Kuhlman, “Austin” became a multi-week No. 1 country smash. 

Country music had a brand new star. Over the next two decades, Shelton would pump out hit after hit, and become a national TV icon on the worldwide hit show “The Voice,” as well as a member of the venerable Grand Ole Opry. I can’t help but think of the many heroes it took to make it happen for Blake Shelton.

Of course there’s Shelton, with all that talent, heart and personality. Then there’s Bobby Braddock, one of Nashville’s greatest songwriters, listening to hundreds of other people’s songs in search of that special one for Shelton. And Braddock in the studio, hour after hour, with some of the world’s best studio musicians, background singers and studio engineers, pursuing the perfect record. Then cruising from label to label, determined to find a yes among all the inevitable no answers. And then there’s me, playing a cassette over the phone to my friend Braddock, who I thought was a genius in a recording studio.

And gutsy Kuhlman, on his own, mailing out CDs on a wing and a prayer.

Lots of other heroes, too, braving the stiff competition: promoters, publicists, A&R people, bookers, roadies, managers — and nobody outside the business knows their names. It took a lot of skill and experience to make a music industry in those days, and I like to think it still does.

[screamting]

i've always kind of meant to fic rec more and even when sometimes I can post a fic i'm reading on here I always feel bad I don't do it more often. The ao3 share option always feels hard to read and you always wanna edit the summaries to expand on what you as a reader found compelling instead of what the author thought to put... anyway, tonight i finally mustered myself and ignored everything I usually do at night to spend (checks watch) 2.5 hours putting this list together and fighting tumblr formatting. They're in no particular order, and every single author you should check out their other fics; a lot of them have updated other things since I read these in my AO3 history. If you've never read fics for fandoms you're not in: this is the list to pic one from and just go. Crossovers may be posted in multiple sections, just in case. This is just a list of fics that, when I found them in my history I said, "I remember this one! It was so good!" and a lot of them are ones that, every time they show up in my inbox, I drop everything to read (or I stow them away for the upcoming three hours I desperately will need them). Because of that, a lot of them are fucked up, so check warnings once you get on the page. But like. I think they're fucked up in a delightful little way.

Also a lot of them are long. SUPER long. You all did this for free. Do you know how much I owe you for nightshifts alone, much less long trips and difficult, depressed days that I just had to get to tomorrow and a long fanfic gave me somewhere else to be?

Please give them some love.

___

TWEWY/KH

∞:∞ ((to infinity and beyond)) - Divisionten

Post KH3, spoilers ahoy. He got off the pavement, wet, dirty and alone. They left the beach, ready to chase him down. She gripped her Keyblade, twisting it tight enough in her hands to leave marks. It was time to go home. ((Sora and Riku arrive in Shibuya after KH3 just in time to be mistaken for cosplayers. Extremely good Neku))

Marvel

From the Top - garamonder

Miles let go. Peter B. Parker closed his eyes as he dropped back through the rift, heading home. It would have been nice if he’d ended up there. Instead, the veteran hero makes an unintended pit stop in another Peter's universe - one where he's an Avenger, of all things. (Takes place in the MCU, post-hypothetical-Avengers 4)

Weight the Dice - tuesday

Tony's aim was off the first few tries. It was an imprecise art, time travel by magic rather than science, for all that it could actually change things instead of branching the timeline. He wanted early enough he could still make a difference, but not so early he had to go through puberty again. ((the only fic on this list under 5k, youre welcome))

LOTR???

Less Wise and More Dangerous - DeepWatersWaiting

Fleeing the Balrog and Orcs in Moria, Legolas Greenleaf is shot down with an arrow. He dies upon the bridge, unaware of the fates of his Fellowship, and wakes up moments later with the intention of finding his mother, escaping the Halls of Mandos and re-joining the War of the Ring. This would be a lot easier if he was actually in the Halls of Mandos however, instead of at Losgar as the Noldor arrive in Beleriand from Valinor for the first time.  ((i don’t know who any of these people are besides legolas i’m just having a good time and think this one needs more eyes))

Legend of Zelda: One Link

Third Eye - StudioRat

In which we climb the dark tower into the dawn. ((Link wants a third option. Ocarina of Time climax.))

Navigator [Act One] - SaltySaph

A Ganondorf/Link Slowburn Adventure narrative, first of three Acts. It is not based on, or connected to, any of the games in the franchise; but instead a largely invented piece using the Zelda formula and tropes as a base. This is not an Enemies to Lovers piece, because even though they are enemies in the games? They never have any personal or direct enmity toward one another.

The Inevitable - Phlyarologist

A hero falls. A hero rises. Repeat as necessary. Ravio gets an unpleasant lesson in the cost of legends. ((the only good take on heroic deaths))

The Legend of Zelda: Ten Thousand Year Elegy - winklepickers

Months after Calamity Ganon's defeat at the hands of the Princess and the Master Sword's chosen hero, Hyrule is approaching something resembling peace. That is, until Link and Zelda go missing following a disastrous archaeological expedition. Meanwhile, in Domino City, Japan: a dimensional domain emulator belonging to one Kaiba Seto abruptly self-destructs, causing an explosion that catches Mutou Yuugi and his friends in the crossfire. Unexpected? Yes. Unforeseen? Maybe not.

Legend of Zelda: Multiple Links

Please Don't Come for Me - sister_dear

Hyrule gets chucked headfirst through a mysterious portal. He feels the magic of fairies nearby and transforms, intending to ask them for help. Unfortunately for him, Time also found the fountain, and he has something of an effect on fairies. A “Hyrule meets the chain” story where Hyrule encounters each of his new companions in fairy form first.

Language Barriers - Kastaborous

The group made their way over to the two Hylians, where the individual they had rushed to save was conversing with the newcomer. The newcomer was heavily scarred on his left side, and from the bow on his back, he was the archer who had brought down many of the monsters. “Hello,” Time said, as he nodded to them. “Could you point us toward Castle Town?” The scarred man blinked. “Nanda?” … The Heroes of Courage are spread across ages. Hundreds to thousands of years between them. It should come as no surprise that they are having some trouble communicating. But when they’re dropped in a world of alien technology and a language wholly unfamiliar, they really wish Hylia had thought ahead. Or, the gang-meets-wild fic in which there is an appropriate amount of linguistic drift between Links, Hylia does not provide Google Translate, and Wild is a linguaphile among other things.

To Isolate - Poltea, sky_squido

Sky has only just figured out that Ganon is the manifestation of Demise's curse when he starts noticing... something working its way up the chain. Nobody is okay, Sky least of all, but he’s determined to figure out what’s going on or die trying. He has no idea what he’s getting himself into. This is a story of pain, fear, loss, and somehow, despite it all, courage.

Yu Gi Oh

((Basically All Crossovers & Literally The Best Section Of This Whole List u just gotta trust me))

The Power Of Friendship (And This Gun I Found!) - GallusRostromegalus

Honestly, Mokuba deserves to have a gun. And everyone else deserves to go absolutely Off The Fucking Rails. YuGiOh, but they're all appropriately feral little gremlins. Kind of a Reconciliation of the 4Kids Dub and the Horror-Comedy Manga, but mostly me wildly overthinking the setting and deciding to lean into the weirdness.

Shed Some of This Black Light to Surrounding Towns - arinrowan

What Yuugi wants is simple. He wants Izuku to get into Yuuei with him. He wants the rocket engines designed for KaibaCorp to work. He wants to launch his emotions about his father’s family into hyperbolic orbit. Unfortunately, Yuugi and his friends find themselves in the middle of a plot to manipulate the course of history that leaves him struggling to answer two very not simple questions. What does it cost to build the future? And who decides who pays?

The Legend of Zelda: Ten Thousand Year Elegy - winklepickers

Months after Calamity Ganon's defeat at the hands of the Princess and the Master Sword's chosen hero, Hyrule is approaching something resembling peace. That is, until Link and Zelda go missing following a disastrous archaeological expedition. Meanwhile, in Domino City, Japan: a dimensional domain emulator belonging to one Kaiba Seto abruptly self-destructs, causing an explosion that catches Mutou Yuugi and his friends in the crossfire. Unexpected? Yes. Unforeseen? Maybe not.

ATLA

While Mighty Oaks Do Fall - WitchofEndor

High Sage Kenji blesses Fire Prince Zuko with the resilience of the reed, who bends in the wind and never breaks. When he is done, Fire Prince Ozai narrows his eyes, seemingly displeased by this blessing. But Kenji does not speak for himself; he is only a vessel.  The newly-crowned Fire Lord Ozai offers his firstborn son to service in the temple. This turns out to be a catastrophic mistake.

Boomerangs and Rainbows - mindbending

At Sokka’s behest, the Gaang skips rescuing Zuko during the Siege at the North Pole. Instead they leave him, unconscious, buried in the snow. In completely unrelated news, Sokka’s haunted by a ghost now.

Mountains and Badgermolehills - Glass_Onion

After the Blue Spirit frees the Avatar from the Pohuai Stronghold, Admiral Zhao captures Prince Zuko under suspicion of treason. Isolated from his Uncle and his crew, Zuko has only one ally: the chatty prisoner one cell over.

BNHA 

You Ever Sabotage A Wedding? No?...Would You Like To? - All_five_pieces_of_Exodia

Izuku gets invited to Kacchan's wedding as the "Worst man". He thinks it's a joke. Or My story based off a post I saw on Tumblr: > Hot wedding idea, the worst man, it's his duty to try to prevent the wedding at all costs. > The best man and worst man engage in Spy Vs Spy shenanigans until the wedding is done.

That time I got reincarnated as a doomed side character - Gentrychild

Izuku wakes up in the recent light novel he read called “ My Hero Academia.” Unfortunately, he’s in the body of Midoriya Izuku, a minor character killed off early in the manga to motivate the main character Katsuki Bakugo on his Hero’s Journey. Izuku decides he’s going to do whatever it takes to stay alive in this stupidly deadly Isekai. Unfortunately, Izuku isn't aware that in the last novel of the series where the minor character who died is revealed as the main villain’s son All for One has relived his son’s death multiple times, unable to change the outcomes. But something has changed this time.

Locked In Digital - RogueDruid (Icarius51)

A day goes bad to worse for 14 year old Izuku Midoriya, as he wakes up trapped in a computer simulation with nine different Horror games. The only objective given by the madman who locked him in? Beat all nine games, or be deleted. A year later, a very different Izuku shows up at the Gates of UA to take the entrance exam What horrors has he faced?

Ill-Gotten Gains - ghostmaybite

When his father and Tomura start planning the USJ attack, Izuku makes a plan of his own. It’s simple, only four steps: 1. Steal Eraserhead’s quirk 2. Use it to kill All for One 3. Give Erasure back, hopefully 4. Go to jail, probably He’s prepared for the plan to fail at any time, but surprisingly, it’s not until step 4 that things fall through.

Shed Some of This Black Light to Surrounding Towns - arinrowan

What Yuugi wants is simple. He wants Izuku to get into Yuuei with him. He wants the rocket engines designed for KaibaCorp to work. He wants to launch his emotions about his father’s family into hyperbolic orbit. Unfortunately, Yuugi and his friends find themselves in the middle of a plot to manipulate the course of history that leaves him struggling to answer two very not simple questions. What does it cost to build the future? And who decides who pays?

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

WIP Wednesday

Saw a post celebrating leather daddies (as we SHOULD) and immediately got reminded of my little hint at NMJ and MY being into the leather scene in my 3zun extra for my 70’s AU so. Anyway I definitely 100% needed another new wip, I was running low 💀

—//—

Lan Xichen arrives home from work to his phone ringing. He contemplates not answering — there’s a big case most of the firm has been assigned to work on, and many of his colleagues Lan Xichen has not yet had the…pleasure of working with don’t seem to have much respect for personal time like his usual team does.

The ringing stops as he’s untying his shoes, and starts again just as he’s sliding his feet into his house slippers. A little spike of worry wriggles its way under his ribs. Of course it isn’t only people from the office who have his phone number, and if it’s his family calling then to do so this late (and so insistently) would mean an emergency.

He hurries into the kitchen to answer it, the cool, heavy plastic creaking a little in his grip as he lifts it to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Er-ge,” Meng Yao practically purrs on the other end and every bit of nebulous anxiety abruptly fizzles out to be replaced by something much sweeter.

“A-Yao,” Xichen replies with a tender little curl of a smile. He switches to Mandarin to continue, “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you until tomorrow, what a pleasant surprise.”

“Were you working late again, gege?”

“I was. You may scold me as much as you like.”

“So forward!” A-Yao laughs, catching the innuendo just as Xichen had intended. “You want to come out tonight? We could do something about that scolding if you want, though I actually had more of a special treat in mind.”

Xichen closes his eyes and doesn’t even try to stop smiling like a fool. He knows what he should say — it’s late, it’s only Wednesday and he has work in the morning.

“What’s my treat?” he asks instead, because anything but seeing his boyfriends a day earlier than anticipated seems like unnecessary torment, and he’s trying not to punish himself either intentionally or not anymore, as per said boyfriends’ request.

“The bar’s understaffed tonight, literally no one available to cover the first shift, so Da-ge has caved to the inevitable and agreed to do it. He’s a sight to see, I promise it’ll be worth the trip.”

“You and Mingjue-ge are always worth the trip,” Xichen argues. He smiles wider to hear A-Yao laugh and turn his head to call out what he’d said to Mingjue, barely muffled by, Xichen assumes, his hand over the receiver.

There’s a bit of a scuffle and a waspish, “Go pick it up in our room, you animal!” that Xichen stifles a laugh at, easily imagining Mingjue using his bulk and much longer reach to manhandle the phone away from A-Yao.

“You suck-up,” Mingjue grumbles in his ear, the words clumsy but tinged with his amusement. (His Mandarin isn’t quite as fluid as A-Yao’s, but they all agreed it was the best way to keep Xichen’s lily-white neighbors from overhearing something dangerous should they pick up and catch them saying something private on the neighborhood party line.)

“I only speak the truth! You’re always worth seeing, gege.”

Mingjue grumbles some more under his breath, some mixture of English and the dialect that Xichen has only ever heard Mingjue and his brother use (and barely understands even when spoken clearly), before he sighs and says, “Come to the bar, A-Huan. You’ll have fun, we want to see you.”

“Alright, you’ve twisted my arm,” Xichen laughs. “I’ll be there, ge, don’t worry.”

“Good.”

Xichen’s heart stutters in his chest at the sound of a click, someone new connecting in.

“It’s just me, I picked up the other line,” A-Yao soothes, anticipating his fear with his usual ease. “So you’re coming, yes?”

Xichen exhales the fresh tension with a hum. “Mn, I’d love to. I’ll have to leave early in the morning though.”

A-Yao tuts softly, the sort of gentle disapproval that can send both Xichen and Mingjue to their knees to apologize in a heartbeat. “That still leaves us plenty of time tonight. Just get here soon.”

“Quick as I can,” Xichen promises them both, painfully earnest in a way he knows they know to expect from him now.