saiyanandproud

[saiyanandproud]

"Oh! Uh... That's... nice...? T-That's nice!"

Welp. At least he seemed to have grown surprisingly fond of her gift. Somehow. How odd...

"Well, glad to see you're taking good care of her. In fact, I think she looks in better shape--" Don't laugh, Mariko, don't make a pun...! "--than last time I saw her."

With that, she bends over and peeks under the tiny sunshade.

"Yep. She's definitely thriving." And with that, she offers the brute a thumbs-up and a grin. "Well done! Nice to see I can count on you for this."

"Hey big boy. How's it going with Rock-xanne? Have you two become good friends? Are you treating her well?"

The rock in question is currently seated on a tiny throne carved out of red clay that had been found amid his wanderings and upkeep to his territory. With a red ribbon wrapped around, a few pieces of fangs surrounded Rock-xanne like a necklace as her googly eyes stared at the horizon. A piece of metal that once belonged to some mechanical device whatever it might've been attached to was instead used as a tiny umbrella shielding from the sunlight in much the same fashion that a proper umbrella had been erected to cast its forgiving shadow over the Brute himself as he reclined in a lounging chair.

Flicking up the heart shaped sunglasses that may or may not have been bullied out of one of the Time Patrollers with threats of maiming, Broly was in a fairly good mood this day.

" She has recently attained an army of her own and rules as their sovereign queen after a crushing victory over her opponents who sought to foolishly try and have her reduced to pebbles in a failed coup d'état. "

[saiyanandproud]

muse-based dash game: do not reblog. copy & paste!

objective: show your followers you see them by tagging 10 (or more) people your muse(s) personally want to get to know better. this can be taken as an invitation to approach a mun for plot development.

favorite color(s): Orange and blue. Duh! But she also appreciates yellow.

what're they wearing right now?: Her knickers and the tank top she wears while on duty. Her armorpiece was taken off as soon as she got back home -- time to chill for five minutes before a shower.

where are they at currently?: Sprawled on her couch, on leg tossed over the backrest.

song stuck in their head: If I die young (For no particular reason, really)

last song they listened to: High School Never Ends

3 favorite foods: Pork dumplings. Pizza. Noodles.

dream trip: Springtime always brings her some craving for grassy outlooks and flowery fields. A picnic under the sun, maybe napping under a tree... Would be nice.

anything your muse want right now: a nice hot bath. And a nice large cheesy pizza for dinner. With a movie. And someone to cuddle up with.

favorite personal headcanons: good at singing but the best chance for anyone to witness it is catching her in the middle of her house chores; actually knows how to properly behave in high-society events, always a pro for undercover missions; likes to collect vintage stuff like videogames and old movies, she finds the past fascinating and somewhat comforting.

quote of the hour: "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." (Helen Keller)

Tagged by: @viopolis Tagging: @gazelessmenagerie @asurastro @the-demonpr0digyy @far-tek @anemcia and... Anyone who hasn't been tagged yet

[saiyanandproud]

Marilyn Monroe’s The Girl from The Seven Year Itch, possibly one of cinema’s first on-screen monster-fangirls

[saiyanandproud]

@viopolis said:

"I mean... I guess."

"... It does kinda count as a workout too, in a way..."

[saiyanandproud]

"Oh my Kais-- Cleo!" It's not sinday!

[saiyanandproud]

"Happy Saiyan Day, people of Conton!"

"Just for today, anyone with Saiyan origins gets a discount on battle supplies. Remember to stock up on healing capsules!"

[saiyanandproud]

Happy Saiyan Day! #Dragonball #Saiyanday

[saiyanandproud]

TRUTH SERUM TIME ! 

SEND  ‘ TRUTH ‘  +  A  QUESTION  AND  MY  MUSE  HAS  TO  ANSWER.  NO  LYING  ALLOWED.

[saiyanandproud]

when do you gaze at your soulmate?

when they're sleeping

it's not just the way they're at rest. it's that they're at rest with you. it's not just that they're safe but that they feel safe enough to let you see them like this. it's trust and it's intimacy. and you're not sure you're ready for them to see the emotions in your eyes right now. they've been through enough. you both have. sometimes it scares you just how much you love them. it terrifies you that you feel happy as they lay there, eyes closed and hair a little messy. their features twitch and you know they're dreaming and it scares you because if you fall asleep too you won't have a nightmare tonight. you'll dream of them. or nothing at all. and either way it will make you need them more. and you're not supposed to need anyone but it's them. you want to hold them in your arms and never let go. you want to protect them but you know they want to protect you to. this is the kind of love you long for and it's the kind which will hurt if you lose it. but here you are anyway. it's too late now. you're glad it's too late to go back.

Tagged by: @viopolis

Tagging: @asurastro @the-demonpr0digyy @gazelessmenagerie and... Whoever hasn't been tagged yet?

[saiyanandproud]

[saiyanandproud]

Mariko listened to Atlas as he spoke, taking in every detail, every word, making sure to not miss a single thing. She suddenly realised how easy it was to give some stuff in life for granted: the feeling brought by a caress, a kiss, even a breath, the possibility of enjoying it over and over again. And how cruel it must have been for Atlas, knowing how it was meant to be like, and yet being unable to experience it at all.

Unlike her. As soon as she felt his hand resting on her back again, a gentle goosebump tickled down her spine, and she was certain it had nothing to do with his metallic fingers.

“… To get a little sappier”, Atlas said, “I feel more awake when I’m around you. Warmer, too. Wherever you are, I want to stick around, even when I’ve got nothing to do there but be near you.”

Mariko held her breath. That... Was far from artificial. It was so existential. And he had said it so tersely, it made her mind spin.

How was I not meant to fall for you? She thought, staring at Atlas with a look so mesmerised she was grateful he wasn't looking back at her, or he would have seen how hopeless she was by now, vulnerable in front of such words. How, when you say stuff like this?

“Sorry, I’m not doing a good job, am I?” Atlas went on. “People tend to assume robots don’t feel anything at all. Like touch and emotion is some kind of human-only privilege. It’s a lot more complicated than that.”

Mariko wanted to reply that no, he was doing great. In fact, he was perfect. That she had never assumed any of that, or else she wouldn't have kissed him so impetuously that same day, she would have never had such feelings for him, and they would have never blazed like that, like a burning sunset, wilder than she had ever felt anything before, wilder than the ones she had for Takuma, for Gamma... Those emotions suddenly seemed so childish in comparison, so juvenile and lighthearted. This, on the other hand... As Atlas just said, it was a lot more complicated. And a lot deeper, too; and yet, sinking in it was such a sweet torture somehow...

She wanted to say all of that, but her throat only let out a faint gasp. Atlas' words were so sincere they left her speechless, her lips glued together in mute admiration, refusing to interrupt his stream of consciousness, to ruin that moment in any way. When Atlas' hand pressed closer on her back, Mariko didn't put any resistance; she almos tripped forward, her free hand running to rest on his chest in an attempt to to steady herself. After all those confessions, her legs felt kinda weak...

... And the moment Atlas stared into her eyes, she almost felt them giving in.

"... What if I told you that I want to make you happy?"

Her heart skipped several beats at once. She blinked, baffled, feeling her whole face burn; she opened her mouth, trying to say something, but found herself out of air instead.

Was it panic? Was it joy? Whatever it was, it was so immense it petrified her. Being offered something so big... And she felt so minuscule in comparison.

With an instinctive jerk of her head, she pressed her face on Atlas' chest, hands closing in two tight fists over it. Her breath was suddenly short and quick; she let out a whimper, and her cheeks burned further. She tilted her head, letting the coolness of the metal soothe them a little.

She had to reply. She had to say something. She couldn't leave him hanging like that! Say something, you idiot!

She tried to push an answer out of her lips, but her voice still sounded half chocked when she did.

"... I'd say you'd be the first," she stammered, her own voice sounding idiotically pathetic to her ears.

She closed her eyes, feeling something press against her throat, and a familiar tingle behind her eyelids soon after. Why did she feel like crying? Atlas had just confirmed he returned her feelings! She should have been happy! In fact, he wanted to make her happy. Was it so unbelievable for him to tell her such a precious thing?

... Apparently, yes.

"It's... Like when Hit told me some big, powerful entity was after me from across time and space," she fantically tried to explain, to make sense of her absurd reaction. "And I thought -- why? What did I do to deserve it? I'm just... Meaningless and small."

She took a moment to let those words settle in her heart too. Then she frowned, noticing the potential misunderstanding in them.

"I mean... I don't think that you'd try to hunt me down and kill me, of course," she muttered to herself. "That's not how I feel here. What I mean is..."

She glanced up at Atlas with a lost look. She bit on her lips, trying to find an answer in his eyes, but the urge to speak out her question preempted her.

"... Why?" She asked. "I'm just... This." She shrugged. "I don't get it, I..."

Why was she asking that now? Wasn't that all she had dreamed for in those last years at Rosegold Repairs? For someone to take care of her, to make her feel special? Why was she freaking out like that, now that it was happening?!

"I just..." She tried to swallow, but found herself gulping down air instead. "...Why would you waste your time with me?"

By now-- especially considering the day's events-- Atlas figured he didn't need to understand the shifts in Mariko's emotions the very moment they happened. He'd get the idea soon enough if he waited and listened. ... Not that it was some great mystery why his jab fell short of charming.

So, when she pushed him off, he kept quiet and watched her walk the length of the attic. He kept his concern in loose reigns, muffling it down to a look of dull surprise. A quick scan towards the entrance assured him no one was rushing to investigate any footfalls they'd heard overhead-- just as he preferred.

"'Guess with that kind of track record, it's no wonder you'd be suspicious..." Atlas said, meeting Mariko's gaze as pivoted back to him. Her scrutiny fell on him like police searchlights; of course he knew she'd look at him differently once she knew about his memories-- anyone under this roof would-- but knowing that did nothing to prepare him for witnessing that perspective shift in real time.

Something about it reminded him of laying down on an operating slab, under harsh white spotlights, chassis wide open.

He hadn't recognized the tension in his shoulders until it left him, seeing Mariko make the first step back to him.

His diagnostic window continued to report abnormalities: rapid fluctuation in energy output, spikes and falls in internal temperature, power mechanisms speeding through their standard oscillations.

All those parameters went haywire once more as her hand touched his chest. Just as suddenly, they settled. Only the elevated heat remained.

"Regardless of what your... Memory says you're meant to feel, I mean. What do you feel?"

Don't really need a pop-up to tell me I was nervous, just now.

His eyes lingered on her hand as he thought the question over. Ironic, really. All that effort to mark the divide between himself and his basis, and he still needed a reminder. The thought invited a smirk back onto his face.

"... Can you feel me, if I touch you?"

He dismissed that smirk.

"Yeah, I can." His hand closed over hers, mindful of the gaps between the thick, black armor plates of his fingers. "The force, mostly. Heat, too. Texture, not as much."

"I've got scanners that give me a fuller picture. It spits out the exact temperature off to the side of wherever I'm looking." One by one, he closed the readouts in his HUD. "... But after a while, all that clutter gets annoying. I don’t need a thermometer to tell if something’s warm anymore than you do.”

With far more hesitance than before, his free hand sought its former perch at her back.

“… To get a little sappier… I feel more awake when I’m around you. Warmer, too. Wherever you are, I want to stick around, even when I’ve got nothing to do there but be near you.”

He winced at himself, just slightly; even omitting the technical talk, describing it all out loud stripped it of its meaning. He cast a self-conscious glance to the floor, frowning.

“Sorry, I’m not doing a good job, am I? People tend to assume robots don’t feel anything at all. Like touch and emotion is some kind of human-only privilege. It’s a lot more complicated than that.”

Finally, he willed himself to close the gap between his palm and Mariko’s back, with just enough force to gently inch her closer. He glanced up at her bangs, and the wisps of her hair that defined the corrective stroke of a brush. They had to be soft. Didn’t he know that for himself?

Like the gears of a clock, his thoughts turned. All he offered her then was a wordless stare.

"... What if I told you that I want to make you happy?"

[saiyanandproud]

I’m still drifting towards you. Inside you are cumulous clouds I could float on all night. The difference is always between what we say we love and what we love.

Richard Jackson, from "Ten Things I Need to Know”

[saiyanandproud]

"It's not you remembering?" Mariko frowned, trying to make sense of Atlas' words. "What do you mean...?"

She listened to him, holding her breath, eyes following his hand as it went to tap his helmet -- funny detail of his, as if he always looked like he was wearing it, and it wasn't part of his actual body. Another detail Mariko often forgot about.

Then Atlas spoke. And for the third time that evening, a wave of coldness washed over Mariko, stealing her a shiver and cutting her breath in a gasp.

“When I was created, my creator transferred the memories of a human into me," Atlas said. "That human’s father wanted a replacement- his real son took off and got himself killed.”

Mariko's eyes went wide. Her instinct was to retract her hands from Atlas' chest, but she foguth against her shock; only her palms lifted in a twitch, fingertips still glued on Atlas as he went on.

“So, I know how a kiss is supposed to feel," he explained. "Between humans, at least. I didn’t think it’d be any different, but… I guess I should’ve known better. Caught me off guard, too.”

Mariko opened her mouth, trying to say something, anything. But there seemed to be no proper comment to that confession, nothing that she feared wouldn't sound hurtful, pitiful, or anything worse than that. Nothing that wouldn't betray the sudden sadness that took her.

"Oh..." She stammered. "Oh, Atlas..."

She lowered her gaze so he wouldn't be able to read how sorry she felt. For who? Him? The deceased boy whose memory -- or conscience -- had been transferred in a body unable to experience human touch the way it was meant to? She was pretty sure such practice was basically forbidden in her era. After all, it wasn't like machines even had a personality in her world...

... And there, another question started torturing her, so much she didn't fully register Atlas' hand resting on her back. Was it Atlas she had fallen for? Was it him, who had -- at this point she could say it confidently -- flirted with her? Or was it all led by that boy's influence, a ghost that had hovered over the two of them the whole time? After all, aren't memories meant to shape a conscience too...?

“… So,” Atlas said, an amused note in his voice, “you really thought I did all of that and didn’t like you?”

Mariko's head jerked up, caught aback by that sudden shift in mood. As soon as she met Atlas' taunting gaze, her cheeks started burning. Was he teasing her?! Just like that, after having just told her all of that...?

How could he?!

"If you really must know," she said, frowning at his playful question, "it would only be the third time it happens since I'm here."

She snorted, giving Atlas a light shove and shrugging his hand off as she stomped away, pacing along the attic with unnerved steps. She didn't even know what exactly frustrated her so much. Was it the conflicting turmoil that always took her whenever Atlas talked to her -- looked at her like that, an urge to both flee and throw herself at him with equal impetus, the same that hat taken over her that morning, resulting in that sudden kiss? Or was it because he had been so ready to change the topic from his confession, to take her mind away from all the things he had never told her her, when she was still so confused, had so many questions about him, about his past...?

... Or was it because she was angry at herself for having discovered all of that only now? Suddenly, she realised she didn't know Atlas as well as she thought. There was so much of him she wasn't even aware of until now. And yet, she had fallen for him anyways -- for his confidence, his dedication, his suave smiles that always hid a spark of mischievousness in his eyes...

Was it shallow on her behalf? Neglecting to know more of him before investing him with all those feelings? And who were those feelings even for, then -- Atlas, or the boy who lived in his memories?

She halted, took in a sharp breath, and turned to look back at him, head to toe, as if taking in his whole figure for the first time. Even with all she now knew, her heart started racing just the same. And there, a sudden determination dawned on her, sharp and solid amidst all the confusing, nebulous facts clouding her mind.

It doesn't matter, she decided. I can love them both.

She wanted to ask more, to know more, to understand more. But not right away. Atlas had told her what she needed to know to solve another, more impellent problem at hand. One that still filled her stomach with butterflies and made her pulse quicken whenever she looked at him, and while anyone else would have deemed it trivial, negligible compared to everything that had just happened, she just refused to ignore it. She needed to figure it out.

So she walked back towards Atlas with slow, soft steps, once again afraid someone downstairs might hear them. Once in front of him, she glanced back at his chest, and placed her right hand on it.

"... What do you feel exactly, then?" She asked. "Regardless of what your... Memory says you're meant to feel, I mean. What do you feel?" She repeated, marking the words neatly.

She then lifted her gaze and looked him in the eyes. Her cheeks warmed up a little more.

"... Can you feel me, if I touch you?"

“No!” Atlas assured her as fast as he could. Worrying might’ve been an upgrade from sobbing, but he didn’t want her doing that, either. “No, that’s not it.“

In an attempt to steady her when it felt as if she was about to fall, Atlas had moved his grip to her arms. His attention dipped down, lingering on the sight of her hands against the curved plane of his chassis.

Did she know that he could feel her touch? The weight, the warmth. Maybe it wasn’t to the same fidelity as with skin, but it was far from nothing.

The diagnostic window was reporting an unexpected spike in internal temperature. Were he alone, he might’ve curled his nose at his creator’s neurotic dedication to his craft. Here, though, the odd parallel clicked into place like a lost puzzle piece. But…

A racing heart, getting warm, but nothing for a kiss?

“It didn’t feel like how I remembered. … but I guess it’s not right to say that’s me remembering how it’s supposed to feel.”

Staring at her tear-stricken face, and the beads of tears yet to come, he found his thoughts from the forest threatening to leave him— all that deliberation, lost in a swell of shared relief. It would’ve been great to just hug her, and tell her to forget about all of this— after all, it was nothing but a road bump between them!

… but the truth would come out, at some point, whether he wanted it to or not. Hindsight suggested it should’ve come up sooner; maybe this all wouldn’t have happened, then.

Hesitantly, his hand left Mariko’s shoulder to tap his helmet. He couldn’t be certain the mechanisms responsible for his memory were actually stored there, but she’d get the idea.

“When I was created, my creator transferred the memories of a human into me. That human’s father wanted a replacement- his real son took off and got himself killed.”

“So, I know how a kiss is supposed to feel. Between humans, at least. I didn’t think it’d be any different, but… I guess I should’ve known better. Caught me off guard, too.”

Without much thought behind it, his hand slid down from her shoulder to rest against her back. Again, he found himself studying her, ignoring the columns of text and numbers at his peripherals to take in the color of her eyes. Even irritated, they were a beautiful shade of brown, like the last few golden beams of sunlight before they slipped away into dusk.

“… So.” He smirked, flashing her with a row of polished faux-teeth. ”You really thought I did all of that and didn’t like you?”

[saiyanandproud]

WAKE UP. ’ - [ my ] muse shakes [ yours ] awake. 

RP Memes - Ways to react after an injury

Mariko groaned. Flashes of colours passed before her eyes, accompanied by a sharp pain at her head. She frowned, feeling something -- someone? -- shaking her energetically, but her body was slow to react.

What had happened? Oh, right. A fight. Her team had splitted and the opponent had taken her by surprise, knocking her out... She groaned at herself, what an idiot, how could it happen? Finally, she forced her eyes open...

... But the person before her wasn't one of her teammates. It was Fu.

"The hell...?" She jolted up, giving him a shove. "What are you doing here?!"

[saiyanandproud]

「   RP MEME :     WAYS TO REACT TO AN INJURY  .   」   * change pronouns as needed  . [ my / your ] is dependent on the receiver.

WORRIED. 

‘ how did they find your weakness? ’

‘ don’t leave me, please. ’

‘ i still need you. ’

‘ that’s a lot of blood. ’

‘ oh my god! are you okay? ’

‘ here, let me help you. ’

‘ try not to move. ’

‘ no, no, no, no. ’

‘ it’s not supposed to end this way. ’ 

‘ this can’t be happening. ’

ANGRY. 

‘ i told you not to go in alone! ’

‘ you idiot. ’

‘ you were given very clear instructions not to go and do exactly what you did. ’

‘ damnit, stay here. ’

‘ you need to leave! ’

‘ i can handle this on my own. ’

‘ i don’t need your help! ’

‘ keep your fucking eyes open. ’

‘ we don’t have time for this. ’

‘ patch yourself up. ’

PLEASED. 

‘ ha! you’re going down that easily? ’

‘ i thought you’d have more fight in you. ’

‘ i can’t believe i actually landed that hit! ’

‘ don’t tell me you’re giving up already. ’

‘ i don’t often like to get my hands dirty… but seeing you like this makes it worth it. ’

‘ this is revenge. ’

‘ bleed for me. you owe me that. ’

‘ i’ve been waiting for years just to see you fall. ’

‘ finally. it’s MY turn to watch you ache. ’

‘ i would say this is the end of us, but this is just the end of you. ’

NON-VERBAL.

‘ PATCH. ‘  - [ my / your ] muse starts to heal / bandage [ mine / yours. ]

‘ RUN. ’ - [ my / your ] muse runs to [ mine / yours. ]

‘ STOP. ’ - [ my / your ] muse stops dead in their tracks. 

‘ DOWN. ’ - [ my / your ] muse falls to the ground. 

‘ ASLEEP. ’ - [ my / your ] muse sits with [ mine / yours ] while they rest.

‘ WAKE UP. ’ - [ my / your ] muse shakes [ mine / yours ] awake. 

‘ HAND. ’ - [ my / your ] muse clasps a hand over [ mine / yours ] to keep from screaming.

‘ KISS. ’ - [ my / your ] muse grabs [ mine / yours ] and kisses them. 

‘ DIG IN. ’ - [ my / your ] muse goes in for another hit / stab. 

‘ GRIN. ’ - [ my / your ] muse grins at [ my / your ] muses injury.

[saiyanandproud]

The moment Mariko felt Atlas' hand pulling hers away from her face, she immediately shook her head, lips glued together to repress the whimper that rose in her throat. He couldn't see her like that, she didn't want to be any more pathetic than she already was in his eyes, to disappoint him further...!

Until he spoke, and there, his words cut her breath in half. She rose her face, eyes wet and wide as she scanned his face, trying to understand if she hand't misheard what she had hoped to hear for so long.

She hadn't. It wasn't a lucid dream. The more Atlas spoke, the more she realised that nothing so far had been a product of her hopelessly desperate mind, nothing had been a misunderstanding on her behalf. For the first time ever, someone truly returned her feelings just as strongly as she felt them.

It felt so absurd, so impossible, her head went light in an instant, and a slight pain circled her forehead for the shock. She blinked, her sobs slowing down into longer, deeper breaths, only broken by an occasional hiccup.

"... You do?" She stammered. "Really?"

Her hands came to rest on Atlas' chest, and she lowered her gaze on it for a moment, astonished, as if to see through it and find a beating heart just underneath. The cold feeling of the metal on her fingertips cleared her mind a bit. Atlas' words slowly reorganised in her head, and she orderly put together all the pieces in her mind. A sudden surge of relief invested her, so big she almost felt her legs giving in, and she rested a bit more against Atla's frame to keep herself steady.

He was excited when I went for him, she thought, and finally, redness colored her cheeks a bit.

"It wasn't the flavor," she murmured, fingers distractedly brushing over Atlas' chest as she spoke. "That's not why I ran away. It was just..."

She closed her eyes to recall the moment. How Atlas' lips felt cold and firm under hers, aseptic almost... And there, another sudden memory cut through her thoughts, intrusive and unexpected.

The scent of rain. The flavour of oreos and cherry coke. The feeling of a warm breath melting on her tongue...

Shame jolted down her body in an instant, stiffening her shoulders. Mariko shook her head with frown, ignoring the sudden pang at her stomach.

"... The temperature, maybe," she muttered, and her cheeks warmed up again, but with a different feeling this time. An uncomfortable one. "It didn't bother me, just..."

She looked up at Atlas again. Somehow, finding his green eyes managed to calm her down, and chased all the phantoms of previous memories away in an instant.

"... I just thought I had no hopes," she concluded. And that was the truth. And finally, a smile curved her lips for the first time that evening.

She looked back down at her fingers, pale against Atlas' red chest; she let out a long sigh, resting her forehead on his shoulder, allowing the cool metal to soothe her headache. She had been wrong the whole time. The whole time, all she had been looking for since her arrival in that world had been right there in front of her, waiting for her to find it. It was such a comforting thought she felt tears tickling her eyes again, but this time out of joy. She replayed Atlas' words in her head, over and over, like her new favourite tune.

I like you.

Do you think I can’t feel that way because I’m an android?

I was excited when you went for me like that.

And then, a last line echoed in the back of her head. One she hadn't paid enough attention to, until now. Mariko's eyebrows knitted together, and she glanced up at Atlas with a confused look.

"... What do you mean it didn't feel like how you expected?" She asked.

And there, another surge of panic took her, and her eyes went wide again.

"Did I... Was it a bad kiss??"

“Wait—“ Atlas’ interjection came far too late. He didn’t give a damn about his cold, metal hands anymore. The distance between them closed, one hand landing form on her shoulder, the other wrapping gently around her wrist to guide her hand away from her face.

His priority should’ve been to help her stop the flow of tears, but a spark of indignation ( tinged with sorrow ) demanded he establish one thing first.

“Mariko, I act that way because I like you!”

In Atlas’ time, robots and humans didn’t get along. Mankind preferred machine stay beneath its boot, and most robots were programmed to be content with their subservience. Were he an outsider looking in, he might’ve agreed with Mariko — most robots couldn’t deny the whims of their human masters, and most humans were eager to exercise their authority over their possessions.

And some humans didn’t even bother pretending otherwise.

Mariko, just as she said, treated him like she didn’t see that difference. The idea that she was using him — it didn’t make any sense! Least of all to him.

“Do you think I can’t feel that way because I’m an android?”

‘Robots with hearts’ — The Ministry of Science’s syrupy phrase for what Atlas would sooner call ‘androids with will’ rang out from his memory. It made much more sense, now. His diagnostics reported another increase in his motor speed. It took effort to keep his voice even.

“That might be how it is for other androids, but not for me. I was excited when you went for me like that. … So excited that I didn’t even realize something was wrong. Or maybe I should say off.”

His thumb rolled over her cheek, brushing the tears away with a ginger stroke.

“It tasted like latex, didn’t it? The kiss. I figured that was what upset you… because it didn’t feel like how I expected, either.”

Hesitation gave him another moment to take in her state. Looking into her tearful eyes brought him slowing to a pause. His sympathy sat clear on his face in spite of the armor framing it.

“Are you okay?”

[saiyanandproud]

At Atlas' cocky reply, Mariko's heart skipped a beat once more, and once again, she cursed the idiotic fate that made her fall for him. But how could she not, she thought with a frustrated sigh, when Atlas looked and felt and acted so humanly real... She fought back the urge to return his smirk with an adoring smile he always elicited from her lips. She couldn't act like an idiot once again. She had done enough of that, for today.

As Atlas began to speak, her eyes stared down at the set of colors she had gifted him, teeth nipping at her lower lip. The same cold wave from earlier cambe back, thicker and heavier as his words stuck in her mind like nails on a wall.

I wasn't sure what happened.

I have a guess, but it's only a guess.

What happened back there?

The knot in Mariko's stomach rose to her throat. The worst scenario that had been played in her mind all day resurfaced instantly, making her heart sink.

Atlas had no idea what that kiss meant. He had no idea what she felt for him, just like Gamma 2 didn't, back when she had showed the same kind of feelings for him. He was just a machine, and all he could do was infer facts from human behaviours. All he had was data. No emotions, nothing resembling the humanity she kept fooling herself to see, no trace of those feelings she was so desperate to find behind his metallic armor.

She had been an idiot thinking there could be anything more to it.

"I..." She glanced up at him, but her eyes begged to stare back down right away. "... I don't know."

She had a way out. She could dismiss everything, saying it was a foolish way of showing him some affection, to thank him for his offer. But while Atlas wasn't a person, he wasn't a stupid either. He would have figured out it was nothing but a lie, even just by reading her heart rate, her microexpressions. And while maybe it wouldn't have affected him emotionally, Mariko still had no heart to do that to him. Idiotic as it was, she still couldn't dismiss the idea of treating him as anything less than a person she cared for.

I'm never going to learn, she thought with a sigh.

"I..." She drew in a short, deep breath, feeling her throat and tongue dry. She wished she had at least opened the door to grab the glass of water Chandra had certainly left her. "I think... I just reacted on an impulse."

She brought herself to glance up at Atlas, but her head remained low. Her eyebrows knitted as she gave him an apologetic look, shoulders stiff and hands closed in a fist. Suddenly, he appeared so... Innocent. And she had thrown all her urges, her craving, her needs at him while he barely even knew what it all was about.

How can I be so selfish?

"I'm sorry," she stammered, looking back down. "It's just..."

Why, why did she have to go through this again?! To have her heart broken for the third time in a row?! And this time... This time it was going to be even worse than the others. Because at least Takuma understood her intentions, he was emotionally clever enough to prevent the disaster she had announced herself to be. Gamma 2... He had just chickened out. All it took was for her to try to mention how she felt, and he immediately put his hands ahead to tell her that he couldn't deal with that.

But with Atlas... She had to explain everything. She owed it to him.

"... It's... Stupid." She grimaced. "I mean, I am stupid. I went for a kiss because I thought..."

She shook her head. She couldn't keep hiccuping explanations like that. She couldn't keep being so pathetic. Atlas deserved better than that.

So, she forced her head up, and ignored the cold chills that ran down her arms. She drew in another breath, the knot in her throat so thick it was now tickling her eyes, and she pushed the words out of her mouth in a rush, trying to preempt the tears she felt already coming.

"... I thought you said those things because you liked me," she said, tone steadfast despite her quivering voice. "Which... Was stupid, because I should have known it was ridiculous to hope fot it, I should have learnt it already, I already made that same mistake once. And yet..." She shook her head, frowning at herself. "But with you it's just--" She felt a sob rising in her chest, but swallowed it down, gulping for some air. "... It's just so hard to not think about it. I mean, the way you act, the way I feel around you--"

Her eyes were starting to get bleary again. She squeezed her lids shut, pushing the tears back, begging for another couple of seconds.

"So I just reacted on an instinct. And... I didn't even consider it wouldn't have been the same for you. I only realised it once it was done." Her teeth sank in her lip as she opened her eyes to look at Atlas once more.

"I'm sorry," she said, and this time, a sob managed to escape from her throat. "I now realise how wrong it must have felt for you... You maybe think I used you, even..." She sniffed, feeling she only had a few more instants before her voice would break down completely.

"I didn't. I swear. I just..." She drew in one last breath, and there, her shoulders dropped as she took in Atlas' figure with a single, helpless look. "... I had forgotten who you are. I'm sorry."

Once the apology left her lips, another violent sob came to shake her chest. Mariko quickly brought both hands to her face, pressing the palms against her eyes in a childish attempt to push back the tears that started rolling down her cheek. She clenched her teeth, breathing in small, short gasps, praying no one downstairs would hear her... Or that Atlas would find her a pitiful enough sight to decide to leave.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, "I hope you can forgive me."

“No.” The thought alone felt absurd; taking orders to come here, let alone from Chandra. Atlas couldn’t help but smirk. “I don’t think she even knows where I’ve been all day.”

That smirk dwindled as he scanned over Mariko. All evidence pointed to a long session alone in this dusty shelter— and no small part of it spent crying, judging by her watery eyes. The sight pulled at his hand, and had he followed its urging, he would’ve cupped her cheek in it.

His fingers flexed. Given everything that had happened, he couldn’t be certain she’d find any comfort in the cold caress of a machine.

Before turning to face her fully, he stowed his paint set on top of the closed box. For a moment longer, he remained quiet, parsing out what among his many thoughts was most important to say next.

“I’m not mad.” came out first. “I took off for a while to clear my head. I wasn’t sure what happened. ... I mean, I have a guess, but it's only a guess.”

The elements of his HUD overlaid his vision: green windows filled with data readouts and targeting reticles siphoned every clue they could find to her emotional state. As if he'd wanted anything more than a better impression of her heart rate-- as if he'd needed anything more.

His diagnostic window reported an unusual tick rate, escalated above his typical functioning range. Atlas didn't need to breathe, but he drew in a sigh anyway. Such detailed emulation of human behavior didn't seem so absurd when he recalled the reason he was built in the first place.

Mariko was going to look at him differently by the time they finished this talk. Of that, he was certain.

"So..." He took a half-step closer to her, stopping himself before he could reach for her.

"What happened back there?"