#and in all of this I really can’t place where jihyun is gonna go in these next eps

[jemmo]

ive just been lying in bed, thinking about the eighth sense, this whole morning, trying to figure out and put together my thoughts and my conclusion is I just can’t do it. bc everything i read, all the dream theories and hallucination theories and meds and alcohol and when does it stop being real, I just can’t figure out in my head what I do actually believe. bc that’s not far-fetched, I know it. I mean look at that sequence in blueming where dawon has that whole imaginary sequence with his parents and siwon. that was all very clearly a dream sequence, like with the context of the scene prior and how people interacted, I could tell it wasn’t real right away. this, i just don’t know. bc I believe very easily that this is something jaewon would do. after the conversation with his therapist and his night of drinking and what taehyung brought up, how angry it made him, Jihyun’s words of comfort and then what happened in the morning, the camera breaking, his father. all of that is reason enough for jaewon to snap and do something spur of the moment and kind of crazy but actually seek out that escape and relief he needs. his emotions are so heightened, this isn’t just something he can just cover with a mask and get on with, he needs release. and jihyun’s words are a lifeline that he clings onto hoping their genuine.

i love that scene where jihyun is bringing up the logical things about having no clothes and not preparing to stay over and jaewon just reiterates that line. you said when I’m having a hard time, i can contact you. he is so used to being nice to everyone and never wanted to cause a fuss or upset or disagree. He doesn’t want to be a burden, but the way he then says that, kind of pathetic and kind of desperate and kind of defensive yet he states it so clearly. Bc so often when someone may they go about their trip and decide what to do next, sleeping on the beach only to then get a hotel room, surfing then sleeping together then surfing again. it’s all very erratic bc i think that’s how jaewon feels and is acting, and jihyun is just along for the ride. idk how to judge how jihyun feels in all of this bc if we take everything at face value it kind of is a lot to take in and to then be intimate while jaewon is in this headspace feels fast and not smart, but then again jihyun doesn’t have to be smart. he has been shown to want to do crazy stuff, to try things, to get out of that country bumpkin bubble and when he loves and cares for jaewon, i don’t think anything he does on this trip either is out of the realm of possibility. and I think that plays very well into the ending. they are both being kind of reckless, especially jihyun bc it’s established he can’t swim, or at least can’t swim wellc, so an accident could easily happen, and no matter how bad the accident is, it’ll be horrific to jaewon. a person he cares for getting into an accident with him in the sea, it’s a perfect, horrid mirror, and for him it’ll only reaffirm what he already believes. idk what that thing is yet, whether it’s arbitrary ‘bad things happen around him’, or he’s irresponsible or can’t trust himself to do something or powerlessness that he can’t do anything or feeling inadequate bc he can’t help, nevertheless he puts all the burden of the accident on him. After all, he was the only person there. He was the only person that could’ve done something, could’ve changed the outcome and he didn’t, or more likely, wouldn’t.

But with these kinds of accidents, what jaewon needs to see is that that burden is not his to bare, at least not alone. so many other things and factors lead to things happening, and ultimately an accident can be just that; an accident, something he can do nothing about and has to deal with grief but not guilt.

All this is to say, I do ultimately think this happens. Choppy cutting and dreamy looking camera work is all something that yes while you can analyze it for meaning, is also an artistic choice and can be read a number of different ways, one of them being that jaewon does see this time with jihyun as a dream. it’s closed off and private and secluded and quiet and he’s with someone he loves, he can see that as perfect, as dream-like, and then that final scene is a sudden, terrifying change that is amplified to him. and I think it actually happened bc I think it needs to happen for the story. the most natural progression of this plot is for an accident to happen and for jaewon to distance himself because of it. And it bodes well that this is happening at the end of ep 6 and not ep 8, bc nowthe aftermath and and the repercussions of this and an eventual reconciliation can be given the time it needs and deserves. this isn’t just about a thing getting between jaewon and hugging only for them to overcome it and be together as happens in many other shows. if anything, the relationship is secondary, it’ can now only be a result of jaewon making progress mentally in whatever form that will take.

[marshmallowprotection]

Saeran’s Passport Package

I’ve been waiting since the 19th to get my hands on this baby and I’m glad that it got here today. It took me a little bit to sit down and go through everything cause I wanted to cry about it the entire time. 

Spoilers Ahead, everyone. So, if you’re not interested in seeing what’s in the Passport set AFTER the events of Saeran’s After Ending, then do not click Read More, got it? I’ve made it clear to you. I will say that it’s worth the money if you’re debating buying it. 

So, we can go over the contents in the box, first as an overview. You receive a letter stamped with a cute sticker as well as the passport itself which holds the notes that Saeran’s been taking and drawing since this all started. I just think that’s cute. My brain said don’t open that passport until we review the letter first so, why don’t we go over the letter first? The little details are really cute. There’s just so many stamps on this baby. 

The little touches are what sell it. You’ve got this man putting his love all over it and there’s a CUTE NOTE of CATS. Sir, was that a touch to Saeyoung? I know you know that your brother is a dork. Homage to brother who is an idiot but too glaringly obvious. It got a chuckle out of me. I know this man, and it’s just getting to me. 

The passport itself is also really cute. It has the art from the promo banner but instead of everyone hustling around together, there’s new poses and all of that jazz. Jaehee isn’t rushing around. Zen’s got a selfie stick, no surprise on that front. Jumin just chilling. Seven and Yoosung... doing what they do best and you know it. RUN, YOOSUNG, RUN.

Saeran and MC... being cute on the inside made me go, “Aw!” Ice cream. They can really just put ice cream and it’s going to make me cry, huh? Really? Is that how easy this is? Am I a joke to you, Cheritz? Is that what this is? 

Now, if you want to talk about the contents in the letter, you get this sheet that is listed in three languages, surprised me, Korean, Spanish, and English, and it lets you tick off little things that you like to do. An itinerary sheet. I feel like this is purely Jumin crafting these. It asks about Cats. Literally. Cats. Wine? Yeah, this is on Jumin. You always come in flex, Jumin, but oh boy, I’m chuckling over here at these little touches. 

You get 2 boarding passes. One with Saeran’s name and one with a blank to fill in your name. I thought that was cute. Tying in that with the CG of the passes in the game with this just makes it more real to me. I’m holding this in my hands and it just makes my immersion feel much more real than it did when I was holding my phone in my hand and playing this out. 

I think merch like this just makes you feel more apart of the story then you do when you’re able to talk and chat, you know? If you really like feeling like you are involved with the game, this is how you do it. You wanna know how I know that Jumin is the one setting this up with Saeran? Flip over the fucking passport and you realize that Elizabeth is on the back.

I’m still laughing. 

I’m trying to imagine this and now, like, I’m starting to see why Jaehee is so damn tired because Elizabeth really is on everything that he can get his hands on and she’s good too many files to sort through when it comes to whatever the photographers take of her. Jumin can’t take photos. He’s either got Jihyun to do this for him at some point, or he’s straight up hiring photographers for her cause he can’t do it. 

I mean, we all know that Jumin will put Elizabeth everywhere but I just— It’s on the BOARDING PASSES? JUMIN! 

There’s also a postcard within the letter that is once more, written in all three aforementioned languages. Saeran says that it feels like a dream when he is with you, like this is where he’s always meant to be. His promise of happiness is made truest when he’s with you. I teared up a little. I know that he means well when he does that but damn, does it take an arrow to the heart every single time he does it. 

Saeran put a lot of thought into this in a very short amount of time. I know that he did this plan likely with the idea that he may not be able to go with us but he wanted us to be able to see the world for him. You know, how he implied that he wanted Saeyoung to see things for him? To live for him? Even if he was dead, he wanted Saeyoung and the player to be happy and free. 

The blurred state on those... doesn’t have names. It doesn’t name Saeran in this photo. 

The implication of his sacrifice with the boarding passes kind of hurts because this is a side note of the fact that Saeran Did Not Know If He Would Live To See This Through. He made it thinking maybe.. if things worked out, it would be an okay future, but this was... God. I just. I’m thinking about the weight of the AE and what that felt like. I almost glossed over the Boarding Pass because I was just so upset with him.

I’m the type to try to sacrifice myself for others, too. I have that in common with Saeyoung and Saeran. 

I think that we’d argue over who should die for the others and while that’s macabre, it’s just the kind of people that we are. We love these people so much that we’re willing to die if they’re safe and sound. Knowing that, I understand what Saeran tried, and even what Saeyoung tries, but it’s hard cause I want to make sure they’re happy in comparison to myself. 

This is where being selfless is a bad thing. 

Does anyone know what a big deal it is for Saeran to have a passport? He’s never had an ID or paperwork in his entire life. If he did, he would’ve been killed, so would his brother. They’re both never had IDs. Unless you count the ones from the Agency and Mint Eye. They’ve got them in the Believer box with their names and faces, but that’s not official. That’s not paperwork that everyone else has. That’s just... 

You know? 

Seeing this tangible thing in my hands is a testament to Saeran Choi being alive and thriving. He’s not afraid of showing his face. He’s living. He’s a free man and nobody can kill him for existing. Does that not weigh on anyone here? It hit me and I wanted to cry. I might break down thinking about this later because I just take this too seriously. Look at him. Look at HIM. Okay? Did you look? Now, LOOK AGAIN.

Okay, I’m not going to share every single page inside of the passport but I will give you little snippets of the journey ahead and show you what he writes and draws. Yes, he’s drawing. I knew that he was talented because he is great at doodling and drawing, but he knows how to have such a cute style that I want to gush about and he probably has no clue about how cute it is because nobody’s ever told him!

Okay, so the trip is broken up over a few months and into segments. You know how I was surprised by the 3 languages? Yes, this passport is written in three languages and it stays that way. It implies that Saeran knows English and Spanish, or at the very least, he’s been studying them, I get that it’s kind of a neat tie in to make sure that all languages are included but I only English and I can only read Spanish, I suck at conversational Spanish, so I could only read the English and Spanish sections. 

So, if anyone wants to throw in what the Korean segments say, please do. I have a rough idea, but it’d be nice to know. The first segment of the trip is spent traveling over Korea. You see the things that he packed in the bag! 

I almost had a heart attack because I thought the vitamins were Caffeine Pills. I was about to beat my Husband and make him go to bed. Thin ice, Saeran. Thin ice, the Special Believer package implied you take more then ten and I want you to go the fuck to sleep at night. 

He packed his hanbok! Look! You remember? From the title screen event? The blue shirt is the one that he matches with MC in. There’s so much I’m screaming about it. 

It shows you things that you do. Like, biking, karaoke, gardens... is there a locket bridge in Korea? You know? If you put them together on a bridge, it’s said that your love lasts forever. I forget where that came from but I guess there must be one in South Korea, too. Oh, and food. Can you believe that he can eat whatever he wants now? I’m sobbing. 

Please. 

HE’S IN HANBOK. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Okay, here’s the thing. I only have one gripe with the Passport Package and I’m going to say this again at the end, but I really wish that they had included big photos for this because the Passport itself it rather small and I wish that I could have bigger photos of this. It’s my only complaint. Literally, it’s the only thing I have to say about the box that will affect my rating. Look, we’re doing cheesy couple stuff! 

HE’S DOING THE HEART THING WITH HIS HANDS.

A KISS. 

KISS.

GUSHING.

DYING. HELP. ME. 

God, I wish I wasn’t broke. I would commission someone to do this for my MC. 

The second and third portion of the trip are spent in the U.S.A. and Mexico, I was so surprised by that! New York and Hawaii specifically are what they name and I was. Well, those are really far apart, huh. I mean, those are very popular spots. I’m not surprised. I’m chuckling because he’s got matching outfits. 

Saeran Choi, you really want the embarrassing couple look, don’t you? Well, if it’s for you, I’d do it. Did... Saeyoung or Jumin set us up, are we fucking loaded? There’s mad bank here. 

Saeran and MC basically are living per Jumin and Saeyoung, to be honest, because Saeran’s never had a job and MC is... your MC literally agrees to go and test a game in the woods, how good can our lives be? I’m broke, boy. I ain’t got nothing. So, I like to think that those two are offering to let Saeran be as happy and free as he wants. No expense. Like, kindness. The RFA is too damn much, I’m gonna cry. I’m starting to understand why the RFA didn’t hear from us for months. 

The final Check-In with the RFA is set 6 Months after the events that take place when we save Saeran. The events of this Passport cover 3 months. So, we go back to Korea after this adventure and met up with Saeyoung, because we know that we’re hanging out with him in the conclusion. So, if they haven’t really heard from us, that means that we’ve been traveling more with him. 

I kind of like that. 

We’re spending time with Saeran alone and time with the brothers together, and that’s sweet! I love that. I need to write more about it. 

I’m trying not to laugh about this Mexico portion but it looks like he passed out from an ice tea... lemonade...? It’s surely not alcohol. Maybe too much sugar, I know that crash can hurt. I’ve been there. I just know that you’re not implying the man with alcohol trauma is gonna drink. Nope. Neither he nor Saeyoung ever will do that. I stand by that statement and I’ll die by that statement. Bite me my tongue if I’m wrong, but I stand by that. 

Saeran is at least mindful of the sun. He’s also made notes that the perfect time for sunset is 18:34. Cute. He notes that it’s time for the Day of the Dead as well, so that’s fun!

IS THAT A FUCKING V CACTUS—

TWO V CACTUS—

There’s actually a portion in here where he asks you certain questions and you have the space to fill in it. I like that it’s interactive. 

Do you have favorites sweets? Are there things about yourself that you hide? Did you make sure to ask Santa what you wanted? I’m wheezing. The food doodles are one thing, and the Christmas photo is one thing, but he really drew himself as a butterfly and the MC as a bug catcher. 

“CATCH ME, MC.” 

Help me. 

I’m laughing so hard.

Saeran, you fucking goofball.

And, the last page of the passport is us assumedly returning home with all kinds of trinkets and gifts. Flower crown, snow globe, cactus, hats, listen, there’s a lot of details in this photos that I really wish I could have it blown up. 

That’s really my only complaint about the Passport Package. I really want to have bigger photos that are shared. I wouldn’t have minded if it was the photo of the final CG in the game, or the Christmas photo, I really would have enjoyed getting that to have for myself. 

You know? The passport itself is roughly like 5 x 7 or so, so while it’s not big, it’s still like. I would love to see the details blown up. It’s smaller then the diary, that I know for sure. I think it’s the only thing stopping from giving Cheritz a 10/10 on this item. 

I’m going to have to give them a 9.8/10 simply because it feels like we are lacking one big photo. 

I guess I’ll print my favorite CGs and decorate my room like that. But, all and all, I really enjoyed reading this and it made it feel like I was there and I was able to reflect on Saeran’s vacation with the player. Like, he was doing this as we were going using his little doodles... I’m in love with this fucking sap. I’d say that this is worth the money. 

For sure. 

My only gripe aside. That’s a personal problem, not really a content problem. I love this bastard. 

Look at him, he’s GOT A PLUSHIE. I have so many things that I want to write about now thanks to this. Saeran, darling, sweetie, my love, I am dying. Either way, I’m glad this arrived when it did. I needed this. I justified getting this for myself because I don’t expect to get anything for my birthday in early February but I’m happy I have him.

It’s been five years since I found this game in August 2016. I’m happy that it’s been here with me. 

[cafedanslanuit]

Legend

♡   —   personal favourites

☆   —   fan favourites

♠   —   nsfw

♫   —   includes songs

Headcanons

RFA + Saeran - Dirty Dancing  ♫ ♡

RFA + Saeran - MC wants to have her own business

RFA - MC is ten years older than them ♡

RFA - What goes through their mind when they’re cuddling? ☆

RFA + Vanderwood - Having a rebellious kid ♡

RFA - MC can’t sleep unless with them

RFA - A bubbly MC makes self-deprecating jokes as a coping mechanism ♡

RFA - MC that is bubbly, confident and never afraid to stand up for someone

Yoosung dragging MC back to bed because it’s raining

RFA + V - MC blasts music when she’s upset ♫

RFA + V + Saeran - MC with a passion for anime and drawing

RFA + V + Saeran - MC with a major in fashion

RFA + Saeran - Quarantine edition ♡

RFA + V + Saeran + Obey Me! brothers on a trip to the beach ♡ ☆

RFA - MC with a hand fetish

MC has Jumin trying commoner food

Zen + Jumin + Saeyoung - MC is selfconscious about being chubby and they make her feel better  ♠ ♡

Jumin comforts MC about a guy who is texting her constantly and making her upset

RFA reacts to a MC that is called Elizabeth

RFA + V + Saeran - As Les Misérables songs  ♫ ♡

Saeyoung messes with Yoosung’s phone to help him out

Saeyoung x MC - MC makes her own music

Latina!MC and Jumin get stuck with MC’s latino parents during quarantine ♡

RFA + Saeran - MC gets her wisdom teeth out ♡ ☆

RFA + V + Saeran - MC has a bad coping mechanism of punching her thighs (tw!)

Domestic Texts Series: Zen & MC || Saeran & MC ♡

RFA - MC is obsessed with Elizabeth the 3rd

RFA + V + Saeran with a MC that likes going to protests

RFA - MC grew up in really bad poverty

RFA + V + Saeran - They find out MC is only eighteen after everything that happened during their routes ☆

RFA - How do they calm MC when she’s anxious?

RFA - MC has dyslexia

RFA - MC with chronic pain

Royal AUs with Jumin, Zen and Yoosung

Love Language Event with Yoosung, Zen, Jumin, Saeyoung, Saeran and V

Happy New Year Event with Saeyoung, Saeran, Zen, V and Yoosung

Thirst Asks [+18]

[All Asks]

[Jumin] [Jihyun] [Yoosung]

Fanfiction

Mystic Messenger as failed love stories  ♡

reminiscing about the characters and your failed love stories in an alternate universe

You get me ♡

What happens when you’ve finally found your prince charming, but he doesn’t seem to fit in your life anymore?

Bet you can’t leave me

Mystic Messenger Week 2020. “The first time she threatened to leave me, I felt like I was dying.”

Who are you?

Drabble prompt - Zen always sought recognition for his work. Lately, he’s been using other resource to achieve his goals.

Dance with me

Latina!MC tries to teach Zen to dance bachata.

Jealousy [Kinktober 2020 - Day 2] ♠

When Zen agreed to be MC's plus one at a fancy party, he never expected she would lock them both inside a bathroom in a fit of jealousy. The hunger in her eyes could only indicate she was about to remind him who he was with.

A plan gone wrong [Mysme Angst Week - Day 1]

You convinced Zen to stage a fake coffee date in order to give Jumin, your fiancé, a wake up call about how much he had been ignoring you lately. However, things don't go as planned.

i could buy you anything but i cannot buy you  ♠ ♡

[kinktober 2021 - day fifteen: body worship] Zen had always had the need to be in control for a lot of years. (...) His guard may not be up as much as it did back then, but to this day Zen still takes a second look at any situation he’s in. He can’t let anything drive him away from his acting career so he always has to give his best and not take anything for granted.

You get me  ♡

What happens when you’ve finally found your prince charming, but he doesn’t seem to fit in your life anymore?

I always wanted to marry rich

Jumin Han stood with his hand holding the doorknob, not believing what he had just heard. There was no way this was happening. Not days before his wedding. Not only that, days before he married who he thought was the love of his life. The one who he thought he could trust, the one that didn’t ask for anything but his love and attention.

Home

You are staying at Jaehee’s after Jumin did something that made you really angry. While staying there, you start feeling sick and end up at the hospital. What you first thought was nothing to worry about, quickly turns into a nightmare that could change your relationship.

Sweet Creature  ♫ ♡

Jumin gets stuck in another country away from his wife due to the pandemic. He’s been having trouble falling asleep, so MC decides to tell him a bedtime story. A simple request ends up making Jumin open up about a small insecurity he had over his wife and his best friend.

If I could tell him  ♫

Request: “can i request a jumin fic where MC has a crush on jumin but is very shy and so ends up talking with the other members more and then jumin confronts her about it and she accidentally confesses/he confesses.”

Animal I Have Become  ♫

500 followers event. “So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become. Help me believe it’s not the real me.”

Young God ♫  ♠

500 followers event. “He says: “Oh, baby girl, don’t get cut on my edges. I’m the king of everything, you know my tongue is a weapon. There’s a line on the clock that’s separating your thighs, if you wanna go to Heaven you should fuck me tonight.”

Crowded Room  ♫ ♡ ☆

500 followers event. “Baby, it’s just me and you, just us two, even in a crowded room, baby it’s just me and you” - [SMAU Epilogue]

Dear Jumin ♡ ☆

What if after all the events that happened during Jumin’s route, he didn’t fall in love with MC?

A new life

When MC gets into a car accident, Jumin ends up with her medical records. He never thought he would find out about what happened to his wife six years ago.

You see me in my room, wish you were here right now [Kinktober 2020 - Day 12] ♠ ☆

Jumin Han clicks on a pop-up ad and gets stuck into a cam girl website. As he waits for someone to come to his penthouse and fix his laptop, he can't help but notice a young woman giggling as she read through he comment section. From that moment on, he's hooked. And he can't wait to see more of her.

Sometimes I think about Elizabeth [Mysme Angst Week - Day 3]

Jumin tries to deal with the grief of losing Elizabeth the 3rd.

A late night conversation

A late night conversation with Jumin takes another turn into a much better scenario. [Fix-it fic for Jumin's DLC. Set on Episode 3]

Seven Minutes in Heaven - Holidays Edition  ♠

You’re home for the holidays and your friends invite you to a party. After a couple of drinks, one of them proposes playing seven minutes in heaven and makes everyone at the party leave an item of theirs in a small basket. When it’s finally your turn, you walk over and inspect the items before choosing the one that will decide your fate for the night.

A day off

For @/mysme-rbb event! You convince Jumin to take a small trip to the theme park. Taking into consideration it was the first time either of you had stepped foot in a place like that, it went exactly like expected.

you know i’m just a flight away (if you wanted you could take a private plane) ♠ ♡ ☆

[kinktober 2021 - day five: sex tape] Knowing Jumin is about to leave on yet another work trip, you suggest recording something for him to see while away. A little souvenir so he doesn't miss you too much- but now he's not sure he wants to leave at all.

Superstar  ♫

500 followers event. “Before I met you, I pushed them all away / Soon as I kissed you, I wanted you to stay.”

What you always wanted

Mystic Messenger Week 2020. As MC’s anniversary with Saeyoung is approaching, she asks her friends of the RFA for advice on what present is the best one. After several recommendations, she decides on what she should give him. Her only hope is that he’ll be happy with her choice.

The Ghost Of You   ♡   [ Vietnamese translation ]

A love story between a man with a mysterious job and a nurse during the Second World War. “And all the things that you never ever told me and all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me. Never coming home, never coming home.”

Loving You ☆

Drabble Prompt. “I am profoundly enchanted by the flowing complexity in you.” - John Keats

Discoveries [Kinktober 2020 - Day 27] ♠

After you find a transparent light blue dildo hidden in Saeyoung's room, the question hangs in the air. Why not trying it out together?

Lost on you [Mysme Angst Week - Day 2]

A discussion about how to handle Saeran's recovery turns into the worst fight Saeyoung and MC have ever had. Both of them bring back past memories that should have never been talked about, in a desperate try to prove their point, not noticing how much they're tearing their relationship apart.

Just like him [Mysme Angst Week - Day 7]

No one teaches you how to grief. Sometimes you just do whatever it helps the pain go away.

give me the stars

For @/gureishi’s event. A small piece to celebrate Saeyoung’s birthday. A late-night escapade for two young lovers.

Wildest Dreams  ♫ ♡

500 followers event. Slightly NSFW. “He says no one has to know what we do, his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room.”

Seven Minutes in Heaven - Holidays Edition ♠

You’re home for the holidays and your friends invite you to a party. After a couple of drinks, one of them proposes playing seven minutes in heaven and makes everyone at the party leave an item of theirs in a small basket. When it’s finally your turn, you walk over and inspect the items before choosing the one that will decide your fate for the night.

Beautiful  ♡

Jihyun has a couple of burn scars on his torso after the fire that took his mother’s life. You make sure you know he loves every part of him.

Wait for me

When the pandemic starts, MC gets stuck in another country, away from Saeran who was just starting his recovery. She tries to work a system with him so they can feel close even when they’re kilometres apart.

How ♫

500 followers event. “I’m asking for your help, I am going through hell, afraid nothing can save me but the sound of your voice.”

Vanilla ♠ ♡ ☆

NSFW. Saeran’s favourite place was between MC’s legs.

Apricity

Drabble Prompt. He never understood the reason behind this change (...). All he knew was that when winter came, he would start feeling tired out of nowhere and he would lose his appetite.

Gardening

Drabble Prompt. In which Saeyoung and MC break one of Saeran’s pot and they try to cover it up before he gets home.

All I’ve Ever Known  ♡ ☆

Drabble Prompt. Saeran has some doubts before his wedding. Thankfully, you’re there to send all his worries away.

Not to be able to love

Drabble Prompt. He wants to love her, he does. But when you’ve been through that much, it gets hard to love and not need.

Four Seasons (15 chapters)  ♠ ♡

Saeran’s After Ending. Saeran has finally found MC and is ectasic to finally be able to enjoy the good ending his tumultous life has reached. But with Saeyoung still missing and Mint Eye around, his happiness may have to wait a little more. Was love really capable to win against his inner demons or will he have to learn to fight for himself?

In another life [Mysme Angst Week - Day 4]

When MC knows her time is coming, she promises Saeran she will do whatever it takes to find him in another life. The only mistake was that she didn't expect to find him like that.

Our time

Saeran is saying his goodbyes but this time, you decide not to let him go. || Fix-it fic for Saeran's After Ending

even in the dark

For @/gureishi’s event. A small piece to celebrate Saeran’s birthday. Some days are better than others. But the people who love us stay through it all.

[jihyuncompass]

The RFA sharing a bed with MC for the first time?

Oh my goodness this is a very cute idea I love it! 

Note: Since it was requested this request now included V and Saeran!

Zen/Hyun

The first time wasn’t intentional. You had come over to hang out and watch a movie together. 

But then it got late and he didn’t feel safe sending you home at night. He was in a gang when he was young and he knows what kind of things happen to people at night!

At first he insists on sleeping on the couch, he wants to be a gentleman around you! All men are wolves!

But that’s not gonna fly, nope. You insist that he share with you, at this point you’ve been dating a while so really what’s the harm? 

Once you convince him he crawls into bed next to you. He’s trying to keep cool and keep his head on straight but you look so beautiful he can’t help but pull you into his arms. 

He’s so happy he can barely even speak so he just holds you tighter. 

Zen is basically a human space heater so you don’t even really need a blanket. He’s so warm cozy and just pleasant. 

The two of you fall asleep with your head resting against his chest and his arms around your shoulders and waist, both incredibly happy. 

Zen ends up skipping his morning run the next morning to sleep in with you a little longer. He wants to savor the moment and make it last as long as he can. 

Yoosung

He’s equal parts nervous and excited. 

He’s dreamed of having a significant other for so long and he’s imagined all of the different scenarios and sharing a bed is definitely one of them. 

He ends up psyching himself up in the mirror while he’s getting ready for bed. It may be just sharing a bed but that’s still super exciting for him! Pretty much any relationship milestone is major for him. 

Once he’s in bed with you he tries not to make his excitement obvious, but you catch on, he’s never been good at hiding how he’s feeling especially from you. 

The two of you spend some time messing around on your phones, playing mobile games together, watching some youtube videos. It’s all very sweet and peaceful. 

You both fall asleep with Yoosung as the big spoon and you as the little spoon. He feels so happy and excited it takes him a while to settle down and actually fall asleep. 

In the morning you both wake up to Yoosung’s alarm so he can get to class on time. 

Sometime during the night you had changed positions and now you were the big spoon and he’s the little spoon. 

He tries not to be embarrassed but you assure him he’s still a strong grown man even if he ends up the little spoon. 

He insists on you staying the night more often.

Jaehee

Jaehee had come over after a long day at the cafe. The plan was to have some dinner, go over some cafe-related paperwork and maybe watch a movie. 

The two of you barely make it through the first stack of paperwork when you both realize just how tired you both are. You’re both yawning up a storm and wiping tears from your drooping eyes. 

At this point you tell Jaehee she should just spend the night with you. At first she isn’t sure, your relationship had definitely turned romantic but she still was getting used to being in a relationship and maybe this was too soon?

You tell Jaehee that she doesn’t have to stay if she doesn’t want to or feel comfortable but she agrees. 

She wants to! Jaehee is also just not someone who’s used to this, she still is figuring out what is and isn’t okay with you. But if you offered that must mean you really want to right?

Once the two of you are ready for bed you decide to put one of Zen’s musicals on the TV, so hopefully she can relax. 

It works like a charm, once the musical is playing you can tell how calm she is, how comfortable she is. 

The two of you fall asleep lying close to each other, not quite cuddling but close and comfortable. When you wake up however the two of you are tangled in each other’s arms, having reached out to embrace each other something during the night. 

After this Jaehee starts to seem more comfortable, more confident even, somehow sleeping in the same bed seemed to get rid of some anxiety she had, and your relationship feels more clear, more established. 

It has a good impact. 

Jumin

As hard as it was for him, even after you start dating Jumin holds steady to his rule about living together before marriage. 

However you staying the night isn’t living together so that’s fine. Also the two of you are engaged so why not?

Like with Zen it’s almost kind of an accident. The two of you had originally intended on just having dinner together. But you ended up talking a lot longer than planned, and drinking a few more glasses of wine than either of you had planned. 

Soon enough it was super late and if he was being honest Jumin didn’t want to let you go yet. He was enjoying being with you so much and he didn’t want to stop feeling the way he did. 

Also he doesn’t think it’s right to send you home after so many glasses of wine, it’s not polite and he hasn’t been in a relationship before but he knows that sending you home would be a bad fiance move. 

Once the two of you are in bed together Jumin has no hesitation in bringing you close to him. Your head lies in the crook of his neck and your arm is resting on his chest. 

You don’t say it out loud but you wonder if Jumin would have done the same thing if he hadn’t indulged in so much wine earlier in the night. 

Jumin’s breathing lulls you to sleep, and it’s the most comfortable sleep you’e had in a long time. 

The two of you actually wake up in the same position you fell asleep. Jumin is awake first and completely awestuck seeing you. This is just another moment for him that proves how badly he wants to marry you.

When you wake up the first thing he asks is if the wedding date can be moved up. He doesn’t think he can stand not being married to you for much longer. 

You mostly laugh off his suggestion. Mostly.

Seven

Okay hear me out. I know you said bed, but I raise you something even better. 

A pillow fort. 

It started as a joke but soon the two of you had collected every pillow, blanket, couch cushion, and bed sheet you could find in the bunker. You even grabbed a few of Seven’s fluffiest towels too. 

This pillow fort was insane, Seven even managed to put in twinkle lights so there was light inside. He also set up one of his giant computer monitors in there so the two of you could watch movies without leaving the comfort of your shared pillow palace. 

You both stayed up late watching dorky action movies, you listened to Seven’s commentary and bad impressions of the actors. But eventually the two of you started to get tired. You weren’t even quite sure what time it was anymore.

You both kind of fell asleep by accident, the exhaustion had really hit the two of you at about the same time. You couldn’t even remember what position you were laying in when you actually fell asleep. 

When you woke up Seven was curled around you, arms around your waist, head resting on your chest, both of his legs wrapped around yours. 

You couldn’t recall the last time you’d seen him look so serene. You were used to him being so big and energetic, or depressed and distant. But here, he seemed so calm. It’s a side of him you’ve never seen before. But one that makes you fall more in love with him. 

You don’t wake him up, at that moment you just want to keep watching him, you gently press a kiss to the top of his head and enjoy this moment for all that it is. 

V/Jihyun

The two of you had been together quite a while by this point. After V had returned from his two year journey he was like a completely different person. The darkness that used to haunt his expression was gone, the seemingly permanent crease in his brow seemed softer now. He seemed more confident, happier.

But even after he returned there were still some things he struggled with when it came to being in a relationship so the two of you took things at your own pace, some things happened faster than others but something like sharing a bed took a long while.

It’s not as if he didn’t want to, anytime the two of you shared any type of physical affection or intimacy he loved it, but it was the build up that was difficult. That’s where doubt sprouted in his mind and worry rooted in his chest.

The first time is planned. The two of you spent the day together, going for a hike in the morning, making lunch together and spending the afternoon putting puzzles together, all things that put his mind at ease.

When it was time for bed the two of you took your time lying down together. You shared a peaceful silence for a while, letting Jihyun take the lead so he wouldn’t do anything he wasn’t comfortable with.

After a while he reaches out to you, he’s hesitant but he relaxes once he sees you reach out for him too. Soon the two of you are holding onto each other. His fingers running through your hair while you trace your fingers across his back.You fall asleep that way, mostly in a comfortable silence.

In the morning it’s Jihyun who wakes up first, he wakes up feeling warm and his eyes open to see your face. He can’t stop staring at you, he thinks about how he almost allowed himself to completely lose his sight, how he could never be able to look at you like this.

But he feels no anxiety, no regret, only love and reassurance. Reassurance that he made the right choice in choosing you to come back to.

Saeran

The two of you were at the safehouse after escaping Mint Eye.

Saeran had been working nonstop without a break for hours. Soon the whole world would know about his father and the crimes he’s committed. 

You tried to sleep but you just couldn’t. Every time you closed your eyes you kept thinking you were back in that place, in that room. it would scare you out of sleeping.

You didn’t want to bother Saeran but you knew he probably needed to sleep just as much as you did. Gently you asked him to take a break and lie down with you for a while. Just until you were able to fall asleep.

He was pretty unsure, you knew that he was doing better being out of that place but it wasn’t hard to see how he was still worried. Gently you take his hand and lead him to the bed.

At first he doesn’t even touch you, he just lies next to you and watches you. He’s trying to find words to say but he can’t find anything. He feels so many emotions, he feel anxious, overwhelmed, but also happy, safe, and dare he say hopeful.

You reach out and take his hand in yours, you remind him that it’s all going to be okay, and soon the worst will be behind the both of you. You start talking about all the things the two of you can do once things are better. You talk about growing a garden together, one even better than the one at Magenta, you talk about cooking meals together, living together. Being happy together.

The two of you talk until you both drift to sleep, both envisioning a happy, perfect future for the two of you.

You wake up first, and find yourself clinging to Saeran, while he clings to you, legs tangled together with your chin resting on the top of his head. You hold him tighter, making your embrace a promise.

You’re going to make sure he’s happy, if it’s the last thing you do.

[btsqualityy]

Scripted: Part 20

Namjoon x Reader; Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, President!Namjoon, Head of Security!Jimin

Warnings: (Reluctant) open relationship, mentions of cheating, protected sex

Author’s Note: This chapter feels a little off to me, but I’m sure that’s just because I wasn’t in the best mind frame writing it. If it seems like that to you guys though, charge it to my head and not my heart. Hope you all enjoy it!

Two Months Later / Your POV

A month had passed since Jimin walked away from you, and you missed him so fucking much. You had tried calling and texting him, only to find that he ended up changing his number. You even managed to stop by his apartment, only to find that he had moved out. 

It hurt especially bad given the fact that you were going to tell him that you were definitely leaving Namjoon and that you wanted to be with him when he left, consequences be damned. You felt so fucking guilty, because it felt like you were too late and you lost him all because you weren’t willing to let Namjoon go.

Speaking of Namjoon, he had still been consistent in his attempt to win you back and knowing that Jimin had turned in his resignation, it was like he was trying that much harder. You had to admit, having your “old” Namjoon back was nice and you hadn’t realized exactly how much you missed him. 

“Hey stranger,” Namjoon smiled as he popped his head into your office, and you looked up from the computer monitor to smile back at him. 

“Hi yourself,” you giggled as you watched him slowly walk into the room. “Except why the stranger? We literally had lunch together a few hours ago.”

“Because I missed you,” he smirked as he leaned against your desk and you rolled your eyes playfully. 

“Real smooth Mr. President,” you laughed. 

“What are you up to?” Namjoon wondered.

“Just finishing this statement about donations for the children’s hospital,” you told him. “Since I really don’t feel comfortable rescheduling another benefit, I’m just gonna release a statement about where people can direct monetary donations on their own or about donating their time.”

“That’s nice of you,” Namjoon nodded.

“Well, despite the fuck all of everything that happened that night, I don’t wanna leave Sooyoung and those kids and their families hanging,” you sighed. “Especially given how cool Sooyoung has been about everything that happened.”

‘True,” Namjoon agreed and you looked away from the monitor again to look up at him.

“I have a really important question for you though,” you said and Namjoon’s eyebrow rose. “Are you ready for tonight?” 

“I’ve told you, I’m more than ready,” Namjoon chuckled. Tonight, you and Namjoon were attending his first public event since the shooting, and you were more than a little nervous about it. Up to this point, you had been attending events for him, making speeches on his behalf and representing the Blue House. However, Namjoon had decided that after three months, it was time for him to get back to work and you were not looking forward to it at all.

“You sure you don’t wanna just stay home tonight?” You checked and he shook his head, which made you sigh heavily. Seeing your facial expression, he reached down and grabbed your hands, holding them in his as he looked into your eyes.

“Everything will be fine, alright?” He assured you and you just looked at him blankly, which made him huff and change his tactic. “Ok, remember how the therapist said we need to start trusting each other more? Well, I need you to trust me when I say that I’m ready to do this.”

“You know, this is exactly why I didn’t want to go to couples’ therapy in the first place, because I didn’t want you throwing the advice in my face at moments like this,” you giggled, making Namjoon smile. “I just want you to be safe Joon.”

“I know, but I can’t stay holed up here,” he said, gesturing around the room with his head. “I’m the President and I have obligations and responsibilities.”

“Tell me about it,” you muttered. “Well, if this is what you want to do, I’ll be right there with you.”

“I’m glad,” Namjoon smiled, pulling your hands up to his mouth and pressing gentle kisses to the backs of your hands. 

.........................................

After you and Namjoon changed into more formal clothing, you both got into your limousine and headed off to a banquet hall, where a dinner for people who have made notable contributions to South Korea was being held. 

Getting out of the limousine and walking into the banquet hall was the longest walk of your life, because you held your breath the entire time. Luckily though, nothing happened and the only sound that you could hear was the thunderous applause that was given to Namjoon as you escorted him into the large ballroom. 

Throughout the dinner, Namjoon kept his hand on your thigh the entire time, gently squeezing it in order to reassure you that he was ok. Once it came time for him to give his speech, you once again held your breath as you watched him deliver it flawlessly, watching for any sign that his breathing may be bothering him. However, he was completely fine and he didn’t hesitate to tell you as much as the two of you spun around the dance floor. 

“Told you so,” he smirked and you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes in front of all the people that were watching the two of you. 

“Excuse me for being worried about you, you jerk,” you scoffed, although the smile on your face showed that you weren’t really annoyed. “I just want to make sure that you’re doing ok and not pushing yourself.”

“I’m so lucky that you’re still around,” he murmured and you raised your eyebrow in confusion. “After everything that’s happened, after everything that I’ve done, I’m surprised that you didn’t leave.”

“Me too,” you admitted. “I...I was gonna leave.”

“Why didn’t you?” He wondered. 

“Because sometimes, the alternative doesn’t turn out to be what you thought it was gonna be,” you told him as you looked up at him. “And after going to counseling with you and thinking it over, I hurt you too and if you can still try after all of that, then I can too.”

“That’s all I can ask for,” he smiled, leaning down and nuzzling his nose against yours. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whispered quietly and you held onto him a little tighter as the two of you continued to dance together.

.........................................

“Please,” you whispered, wrapping your arms around Namjoon’s neck as he thrusted into you. 

“Shh, I got you baby,” he shushed you, turning his head and sucking a hickey onto the skin of your neck. After the little conversation that the two of you had while dancing (and two more glasses of champagne), you were feeling particularly vulnerable and that’s how the two of you ended up in bed together. Namjoon had tried to convince you that maybe it wasn’t a good idea, since you two were still in the trenches of intense couples’ therapy, but he wasn’t able to resist your pout and the open mouthed kisses that you left on his neck. 

“Feels so good,” you moaned out. “Missed this, missed you.”

“And I missed you,” he replied and when he lifted his head from your neck, you were surprised to see that his eyes were wet with tears. 

“Why are you crying?” You whispered, reaching up and wiping his eyes for him. 

“Because I’m fucking terrible,” he muttered. “I let my dad get into my head and convince me that acting like him was normal or ok, and I let it mess up my relationship with you and I’m so sorry.”

“Joon,” you cooed, leaning up and kissing him firmly. “You’re trying and that’s a good start. The therapist said so, remember?”

“God, don’t bring up Dr. Chan during sex Y/N-ah,” he chuckled, which made you giggle. “I love you Y/N-ah, always.”

“I love you too,” you whispered. “Now, please make me come.”

“My pleasure,” He smirked, moving his knees so that he was steady above you before refocusing his thrusts. The force behind them made your body rock up the length of the bed, your back arching as he fucked you hard and fast.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” you whimpered, biting your lip harshly as you felt your orgasm wash over your body. Namjoon groaned at the feeling of your pussy convulsing around him and the feeling only pushed him over the edge as well, causing him to spill into the condom that he had on. 

“Holy shit,” He gasped, sitting up and sitting back on his heels, gently pulling out of you and pulling the used condom off of his length. “I forgot how hard you make me come.”

“Same,” you chuckled, your chest moving up and down rapidly as you tried to get your breathing back under control. Namjoon crawled over to his side of the bed, throwing the condom in the small trashcan that was next to the bed before he laid down, opening his arms. You slid closer to him, turning your back to him as he snuggled up to you. 

“Good night Y/N-ah,” Namjoon whispered into your ear, pressing a gentle kiss below your ear afterwards.

“Good night,” you replied. Namjoon had no problem drifting off to sleep after that, his even breathing apparent in your ear. You, however, couldn’t get to sleep. As you laid there, wrapped up in Namjoon’s arms, a tear slid down your face because you were once again hit with the realization that you had been trying to ignore for the last two months: you missed Park Jimin, and you missed him like hell. 

.........................................

Jimin’s POV

“You’re a god damn idiot,” Jihyun spat and Jimin’s eyes narrowed as he looked at his younger brother. 

“Jihyun, stop,” Eun Jung whispered to her husband but he just ignored her. 

“You must be absolutely dense in the head to seriously think that you can just walk away from her like that,” Jihyun yelled and that’s when Jimin lost it.

“Well, I guess I am dense then because I had to!” Jimin shot back. “We never had a chance and there was no point in me sticking around! As my brother, I’d think you’d understand that!”

“As your brother, I understand that you were happier with her than you’ve been in the entire last few years! Excuse me for seeing that and wanting it to continue!”

“She’s married!”

“You knew that when you fell in love with her, so don’t act like it’s such a handicap for you now,” Jihyun scoffed. “She may be married, but you love her and she loves you. To me, that should be more than enough for you to go back and fight for her!”

“I can’t keep fighting a losing fight!” Jimin groaned. “You wouldn’t understand!”

“You know, you’re right,” Jihyun shrugged. “I wouldn’t understand, but I do know that I wouldn’t just be a coward and run away with my tail between my legs!”

“Jihyun,” Eun Jung spoke up a little more firmly this time, and Jihyun looked over at her. “Why don’t you go check on Hana in the back while I talk to Jimin?”

“Alright, because I’m gonna have a damn heart attack trying to talk some sense into this idiot and I’m the younger sibling,” Jihyun grumbled, turning around and storming towards the back of the restaurant. Eun Jung sighed heavily before sliding into the booth next to Jimin, giving him a small smile. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna go all crazy like my husband,” Eun Jung chuckled.

“Insane would be a better word to describe him,” Jimin huffed, rolling his eyes. A few moments of silence passed between the two of them before Eun Jung spoke up again.

“Do you miss her?” She asked and Jimin sighed.

“Every day. All day,” he answered. “Besides the whole being in love with her thing, she was such an amazing person and friend and my days feel so empty now.”

“You’re talking about her as if she’s dead,” Eun Jung pointed out. 

“I have to,” Jimin shrugged. “It makes it easier.”

“Easier than just going back to her and telling her that you made a mistake by leaving?” 

“Way easier,” Jimin chuckled ruefully before looking over at her. “I had to leave Eun Jung. It was for the best.”

“You know what, I believe you when you say that,” Eun Jung nodded. “But not for the reasons you’ve said.”

“What?” He asked and Eun Jung smiled softly. 

“You left her because you didn’t want her to leave you first,” Eun Jung said. “You didn’t want her to leave you like Hyeri did.”

“I-I, that’s not,-” Jimin stammered but Eun Jung just shook her head.

“Jimin,” she called firmly and he instantly shut his mouth. “It’s ok that you were scared. Hell, after how Hyeri left you, I’d be terrified too.”

“I’m not,” Jimin mumbled and an raise eyebrow from Eun Jung had him sighing before holding up his hands in mock surrender. “Ok, I am. I could just see her dong the same thing as Hyeri because I’m not good enough.”

“Jimin, don’t say that,” Eun Jung scolded gently, reaching over and grabbing Jimin’s hands in hers. “You are good enough. Hell, you’re more than good enough.”

“That’s not what Hyeri said when she left.”

“Ok, I’m sorry but Hyeri was a huge bitch and you shouldn’t have been with her anyways,” Eun Jung huffed and Jimin’s eyes widened in surprise. “Jihyun and I just never said anything because we knew how you felt about her.”

“Well then,” Jimin laughed. “You’re right though, she was a bitch.”

“Exactly,” Eun Jung nodded. “So you shouldn’t believe anything that she might’ve said to you. You’re kind, you’re caring, and you love so strongly.”

“Just for the wrong people sometimes,” Jimin added, making Eun Jung frown. 

“You don’t know that,” she tsked. “You would’ve found out though if you stuck around there instead of running.”

“I couldn’t,” Jimin whispered. “I would’ve rather left than to have every memory with her shattered.”

“I get it,” Eun Jung smiled gently. “You can do whatever you want Jimin, we just want you to be happy.”

“And I will be,” he assured her, tightening his hand around hers. “Eventually.”

.........................................

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[saeyoungs-sunflower]

MysMe Characters as Songs From Musicals

I am almost certain this must have been done before hahah, so I’m in no way claiming this is an original idea. These are just some of my Sunday afternoon thoughts which I felt like sharing😅💛 I gave everyone two songs bc I’m indecisive LOL

Zen

Kiss The Girl - The Little Mermaid (just made me think of the the VN when they’re on the roof watching the stars)

There, you see her Sitting there, across the way She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her And you don't know why, but you're dyin' to try You wanna kiss the girl

Lay All Your Love On Me - Mamma Mia! (almost chose this for Jumin, but it’s just so ~sexy~ that I couldn’t not give it to Zen ;))

I wasn't jealous before we met Now every man that i see is a potential threat And i'm possessive, it isn't nice You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice

Yoosung

When She Loved Me - Toy Story (okay not really a musical but sHUSH. I use this completely unironically for his relationship with Rika. He got hurt bad, guys)

So the years went by I stayed the same But she began to drift away I was left alone Still I waited for the day When she'd say, "I will always love you"

Proud of Your Boy - Aladdin (for when he meets MC and starts to get back on track. Courtesy of @sunshinejihyun <3)

You'll see, ma, now comes the better part Someone's gonna make good cross his stupid heart Make good and finally make you Proud of your boy

(everyone else under the cut!)

Jaehee

I Won’t Say I’m In Love - Hercules (when Baehee friend zones you but you just tell yourself she’s pulling a Megara. This is her at all of us fools)

No chance no way I won't say it, no no (Give up, give in, check the grin you're in love) This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love (We'll do it until you admit you're in love) You're way off base I won't say it Get off my case I won't say it

She Used to Be Mine - Waitress (bby works too hard and loses a part of herself. The first lines remind me of how she has to dress/act a certain way in order to work for Jumin...)

It's not simple to say Most days I don't recognize me These shoes and this apron That place and its patrons Have taken more than I gave 'em

Jumin

Something There - Beauty and the Beast (everyone’s shocked to see what love does to Jumin <3)

There's something sweet and almost kind But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined And now he's dear and so unsure I wonder why I didn't see it there before

Come What May - Moulin Rouge (JUMIN is shocked to see what love does to Jumin <33)

Never knew I could feel like this Like I've never seen the sky before I want to vanish inside your kiss Every day I love you more and more

Listen to my heart Can't you hear it sings Telling me to give you everything

Saeyoung

I’d Give My Life For You - Miss Saigon (you’re telling me this ain’t him @/ Saeran before he left him with V and Rika? lemme just clean up the shards of my broken heart off the floor one second) 

You will be who you want to be You Can choose whatever heaven grants As long as you can have your chance I swear I'll give my life for you

If I Could Tell Her - Dear Evan Hansen (him in every route that isn’t his. And in his as well tbh. Just him all of the time)

But he kept it all inside his head What he saw he left unsaid

If I could tell her Tell her everything I see If I could tell her How she's everything to me

But we're a million worlds apart

And I don't know how I would even start If I could tell her

and a BONUS because apparently I like tears:

With You - Ghost (for the reset theory)

Every place we ever walked and Everywhere we talked, I miss you You never leave my mind So much of you is left behind

Jihyun

Words Fail - Dear Evan Hansen (this whole thing made me said listening back to it with Jihyun in mind. Now you can be sad too :))

I never meant to make it such a mess I never thought that it would go this far So I just stand here sorry Searching for something to say Something to say Words fail, words fail There's nothing I can say

Falling Slowly - Once (okay that’s better cmon MC show him the love he dESERVES DANGIT. To me this screams Jihyun x MC during his route)

You have suffered enough And warred with yourself It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home We've still got time Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice You've made it now

Saeran

Where Is Love? - Oliver! (this initially made me think of Ray during V’s route when he misses MC ouchouchoUCH but I think it could apply to Saeran before Ray too)

Where is she Who I close my eyes to see? Will I ever know the sweet hello That's meant for only me?

I Dreamed a Dream - Les Miserables (no comment. You know what’s up. The lyrics speak for themselves, he’s just waiting for his brother and losing all hope😭)

And still I dream he'll come to me That we will live the years together But there are dreams that cannot be And there are storms we cannot weather I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I'm living So different now from what it seemed Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

Rika

(for these you kinda have to view them in a twisted sort of way. I’m not saying the characters who sing these songs are like Rika, I can just imagine Rika singing these lyrics in a different context)

I’m Not That Girl - Wicked (when MC arrives and she realises that, after all she’s done wrong, she’s no longer that girl)

Don't wish, don't start Wishing only wounds the heart I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl There's a girl I know He loves her so I'm not that girl

Good For You - Dear Evan Hansen (and despite realising she’s no longer that girl, she decides to blame everyone but herself...especially Jihyun because, for once, he didn’t choose her)

And you say what you need to say So that you get to walk away It would kill you to have to stay trapped When you've got something new Well I'm sorry I had it rough And I'm sorry I'm not enough Thank God they rescued you

~

I hope you enjoyed hahah, if you have any other songs that you would have chosen for a character do let me know!! so glad I spent my Sunday doing this instead of uni work OOPS

Have a lovely day!!💛

masterlist

[gureishi]

Hi hello hi.

I’ve got a bunch of wonderful prompts sitting in my inbox but I was feeling anxious af yesterday and today I had to go to a freakin Zoom funeral and my anxiety brain instead spewed out...this.

I was watching a playthrough of the Forgive ending to try and sort out the timeline for the Jihyun request I’m writing (which I should be posting tomorrow~ <3) and then I started thinking about the disturbing little hints that are in there about depressed Saeyoung and alcohol, and then my anxiety said I needed to write about it. So I transposed that thought into another timeline so my boy could have an mc cause god knows otherwise it would get way worse.

I know alcohol is a really sensitive topic when it pertains to the Choi twins because of their trauma relating specifically to alcohol and alcoholism. To be super super clear, drinking can be fine and okay and not harmful for lots of people, but that’s not the type of drinking I’m portraying here. 

YEESH, I’ll stop rambling. Cw for alcohol abuse; if Saeyoung drinking alcohol is gonna be triggering for you please skip this one. Take care of yourself I love you <3

wanna be ok

The bunker is dark when you get home, and that is your first sign that something is wrong. 

You’re off work a little early, and you fully expected to find the house bright and full of energy. Usually at this time, there would be at least one brother in the living room. There’d be a half-built robot croaking gibberish in a corner or an inexplicable mess from some overly enthusiastic project in the hall.

But when the door slides open (greeting you by name, of course), you’re met with darkness and a startling, eerie quiet. Could they both have fallen asleep…? You check your watch. It’s just after nine.

“Saeyoung…?” You slip off your shoes, calling quietly in case he really is asleep. He hasn’t been sleeping much since his father’s investigation began, waking up at night and pacing the house. Sometimes he does fall asleep at the computer, even these days…

No answer. You peek into the darkened living room. Nothing. No light from his office or the bedroom, either.

You hear a noise and spin, senses on high alert. All your instincts telling you that something is certainly off, you peer warily around the corner.

He’s in the kitchen.

“Babe?”

He’s perched precariously on one of the tall stools at the kitchen island. His arms are everywhere, splayed over the scrubbed wood; he’s slumped over, head in the crook of his elbow. His hair is mussed as though he’s been running his hands through it.

None of this surprises you too much—it’s much a difficult few days. But what does startle you is the stale, harsh smell in the air. There’s a bottle on the counter that looks suspiciously like…

Dread settles in your stomach like hot lead.

You call his name again, some foolishly optimistic part of your mind hopeful that this is an off-color prank. But this isn’t the kind of thing he jokes about.

At the sound of his name, he stirs, lifts his head. As he does, he slips to the side, almost falling off the stool—catching himself at the last minute on the island.

He blinks at you blearily, as if he’s trying to get you into focus, and you know in that moment that he’s not messing with you.

“Hiii, babe,” he slurs, his voice thick. He tries to say your name, stumbles over it. Laughs at himself.

“Honey.” You approach him cautiously. Closer up, the smell is unmistakable—it’s whiskey, mingling with his natural spicy-sweet scent in a way that you find particularly unsettling. “What did you do?”

He tries to spin around in the stool to face you and nearly falls again—you have to reach out an arm to grab him. He gazes at you dizzily, his eyes glazed over.

“Wha’ d’you mean?” he mumbles, his words running together. He sways dangerously on the stool and you put a hand on his shoulder, bracing him. Out of the corner of your eye, you peer at the bottle beside him—it’s one you’d gotten as a gift ages ago and put away in a closet. It’s more than half empty.

“Baby, why did you drink that?” You shift, taking his face in both your hands; he’s unstable again without your hand on his shoulder. You turn him, make him look you in the eye—and he tries, he tries, but his gaze slides over your face as though he can’t quite focus on it.

“You’re pretty,” he sings, and he leans forward as if to kiss you—and misses, his head falling onto your shoulder. “Missed,” he says, giggling. His hands reach clumsily for your waist.

It would be almost cute, you think, under other circumstances. If it weren’t Saeyoung, who doesn’t drink alcohol. Who’s promised himself never to drink alcohol—and for good reason.

He presses his lips against your neck, tilting sideways as he does so. Okay. Okay. One thing at a time. You know how to deal with drunk people, under normal circumstances. Just pretend it’s not Saeyoung. Just for now.

“Come with me, baby,” you say, expertly evading his grasp and offering him both your hands. “Let’s go sit somewhere a little more comfy, okay?”

“Don’wanna,” he mumbles, titling to the right. “Comfy here.”

“You’ll be comfier on the couch, I promise.” You keep your voice light. Taking both his hands, you give a gentle tug, and he obliges you, sliding off the stool without any of his usual grace or agility. He sways as he lands on his feet and you brace him with both hands again, waiting till his gaze clears. 

You lead him to the living room and he comes obediently, albeit stumblingly.

“…m’too drunk for this,” he mutters, laughing at himself as he narrowly avoids running face-first into the door frame.

“Too drunk to walk to the living room?” You guide him more carefully now. Most people would be well and truly messed up from the amount that he drank—based on your cursory assessment of the kitchen, anyway. For him—someone who has, to your knowledge, quite literally never consumed alcohol before—it’s astonishing he’s even still conscious.

You steer him to the couch. He hesitates and you turn to him—his face has gone pale, and he claps a hand over his mouth.

“M’gonna…never mind.” He shuts his eyes.

With some difficulty, you get him onto the couch. He slides sideways immediately and you slip a pillow under his head. He smiles a sloppy, lopsided grin.

“…galaxy,” he murmurs, sinking heavily into the pillow. You don’t question it.

Confident that he’s not going anywhere, you make your way back to the kitchen, fill a big glass with water. Now that you’re alone, your hands are shaking.

It’s not the end of the world to get drunk, but it’s certainly less than great to do it alone. It’s worse, though, so much worse, because it’s him—because of the promise he made to himself, because of the memories of his mother’s violence, because of the fear you know he has of those same genes manifesting in him.

You know that the last few days have been difficult, that the trial’s brought up memories he’d long repressed. But you wouldn’t ever have anticipated…this.

What could possibly have happened?

You take in the havoc in the kitchen: in addition to the whiskey bottle, there’s a glass knocked over on its side as well as the usual debris from chips and other junk food. One of the stools is on the ground.

And where, you think suddenly, is Saeran?

You take a deep, steadying breath—care now, you remind yourself. Figure out the rest later.

When you return to the living room with the water, he’s crying. 

His eyes are shut tight and he’s wrapped both arms around the pillow; there are tear tracks on his cheeks and as you approach he lets out a quiet, pitiful sob.

“Sweetheart…” You kneel beside him and he wriggles toward you like a wounded animal. You bring a hand to his face and wipe away the tears and he clumsily throws out one arm and dangles it over your body.

“Drink a little bit of this, please, love.” You tilt the cup toward his mouth and he opens his lips the tiniest bit. You get a little water in him; most of it ends up on the couch.

“…still hates me,” he mutters, pushing aside the cup, nuzzling his face into your chest. You stroke his messy, tangled hair with your free hand, pulling it off his forehead.

“Who does, baby?” 

“Saeran…does.”

You run your fingers over his feverish skin; his cheeks are flushed and his forehead is warm to the touch.

“Saeran doesn’t hate you, honey. I promise he doesn’t.” You try again with the water. It’s a little more successful this time.

“Does. We hadda…fight,” he slurs. “Gotta…find’m.” Defying all logic, he tries to sit up again, using your shoulders for leverage. Even in this state, he’s stubborn as hell.

“Where is he?” you ask, not sure if Saeyoung will even be able to tell you. You help him wriggle into a sitting position, thinking it’s perhaps safer than lying down after all.

“Walk,” he murmurs. He’s trying to look at you again, his eyes wandering over your face. “Babe! Your face’s…blurry.”

You sigh. It’s not out of the ordinary Saeyoung to push Saeran too far, or for Saeran to snap at him and go for a walk to clear his head. You wonder if the confluence of circumstances—the trial, both twins’ tensions running extra high, the memories Saeyoung associates with his family and raised voices and a dark, empty house—led to this turn of events.

One of the cameras near the door flickers to life—someone’s coming into the garage. You sit up stick straight. Saeran was just on a walk—he couldn’t have gone far. Which means…

“Baby, I’m so sorry, but I need you to move again.”

He groans and mutters something you don’t understand, but you have no time to waste. Glad you’ve already got him sitting, you slide your hands under both his arms and pull. He sags like a rag doll, but he doesn’t weigh a lot, and you’re strong—you tug him to a standing position and he sways dangerously in place, his face pale again.

“Can’t,” he moans, and you don’t have time to pity him. You simply can’t risk the consequences—for both brothers—of Saeran finding him like this.

“C’mon, sweetheart, please try to walk. For me.” You kiss him firmly on the cheek and he perks up a little, reaching for you. You take both his hands again and walk backwards, guiding him to the bedroom.

“No more…” he moans, but you get him down the hall and into the room, giving the corners a wider berth this time.

Panting, you deposit him on the bed.

“…spinning,” he mutters, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. 

“I swear I will be right back,” you gasp, and you run from the room before he can respond. You sprint to the kitchen, sweep the whiskey bottle into the cabinet under the sink. You dump the glass and throw it under there too for good measure. You right the stool, leaving the chips bags—that’s normal enough. 

But the smell…

You hastily grab your bag, which you’d dropped on the floor earlier when you’d found him here—pull out the little bottle of perfume you carry, spritz it liberally over the kitchen island. You inhale. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than nothing.

You throw open the big window over the sink and, bag under your arm, slink back to your bedroom. As the bedroom door is shutting behind you, you hear the security system beeping, the front door sliding open. Just in time.

You spin around. Now where is…?

A soft moan from the en suite bathroom answers your question. You peer through the dark—sure enough, he’s sprawled on the ground, head bent over the toilet. The fact that he’s managed to drag himself there is impressive. You sigh—this was inevitable and is probably for the best.

You sit with him there for a long time: pressing a cool, wet washcloth to his head, plying him with tiny sips of water when you can. He apologizes to you again and again in a raw, miserable voice; you stroke his hair and rub his back and promise him that he’s going to be okay.

Eventually he slumps into your lap and, almost incoherently, whispers the word “bed.” So you hoist him up again, arms around his torso; he tries valiantly to help you, stumbling through the doorway, over the carpeted floor. You guide him onto the bed and he practically melts into it, his breathing immediately slowing, deepening.

You get him as comfortable as you can—wresting his jeans off and casting them aside, tucking the blankets all the way around him. He murmurs groggily as you press a soft kiss to his forehead and then he’s out, chest moving slowly up and down, face peaceful.

You’d never know, you think.

You retrieve his glasses from the bathroom floor, fold them neatly on the bedside table. And then, steeling yourself, you slip through the bedroom door as quietly as you can, tiptoe down the hall. As you’d suspected, Saeran is still in the living room.

“Hey,” he says, lifting his eyes from the book he’s reading. He’s draped over the couch, white hair tousled. He’s turned on a lamp—the dim light illuminates the red roots that are just starting to grow in.

“Hi,” you say. For something to do, you fetch the cup of water you’d left on the floor earlier. Saeran doesn’t bat an eyelash.

“We had a fight,” he offers, unprompted. He drums his fingers on his book—the same nervous habit his brother has. “Did he tell you?”

“Um…sort of.” You put the cup on a side table. Nervously straighten one of the fluffy throw blankets.

“I was mean,” Saeran says bluntly. “I shouldn’t have been.”

You perch on the arm of the couch. Once, he would have flinched away from you; now, he watches you impassively, green eyes unreadable.

“Was it about the trial?” you ask, with some hesitation.

Saeran shrugs. “I guess. He keeps all the TVs in the house on all day. I can’t stand hearing our father’s voice anymore.”

“Right.” You know this—know that the ongoing trial is wearing on them both, know that they’re coping in their own ways.

“Is he…” Saeran looks down and back up at you; his eyes are bright. “Is he mad?”

You take a shaky breath. “No,” you say honestly. “But he feels bad that you fought.”

“Should I talk to him?”

He is still looking at you. You’re surprised—he’s never asked you for advice before.

“Maybe in the morning,” you say, perhaps a little too firmly—but Saeran is unfazed.

“I get it,” he says. “I’m gonna go back to reading now.”

You smile, grateful as always for Saeran’s manner. There’s no risk of overstaying your welcome, because he’ll always tell you when he’s done.

“Good night,” you say. He looks up at you again, gives you a tiny smile.

“Night.”

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

You wake abruptly the next morning. Through the haze of half-dream, half-wakefulness, you hear an intrusive rustling sound—then clunk. Clunk. Clunk. Your eyes shoot open.

“Saeyoung…?” you murmur, the events of the previous night momentarily evading you. You blink the sleep out of your eyes, see a blur of red hair in your peripheral vision.

He’s…cleaning?

“Oh god.” His golden eyes go huge with panic as he sees that you’re awake. He drops the mop (why was it clunking?) and throws himself onto the bed, kneeling beside you. “Hi. Good morning. Um. I am. So, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry. I mean, I—uh. Gah. I practiced this. Hang on—”

“Shhh.” You put a finger to his lips, pushing yourself up in bed. He sits back on his heels like a guilty puppy, eyes huge, waiting for a scolding. “So you remember last night, huh?”

His cheeks match his hair. He lowers his gaze.

“I am so, so, so, so…”

“Hush.” You take his face in both hands again, just as you’d done the night before. Tilt it up, forcing him to meet your eyes. “You don’t need to apologize to me. But I would like to know how it happened.”

He hangs his head, one red curl falling into his eyes. You brush it away.

“I don’t know,” he mutters. “You know I’ve never done that before. Right?”

“Yes, I know.” You slip out of the blankets and sit cross-legged, facing him. “Do you remember why you did it? Why you went looking for the whiskey that I didn’t even think you knew was in the storage closet?”

“I’d known where it was for a while,” he says softly, shamefully. “I found it one day when I was looking for an old hard drive and I guess I thought, wow, glad I know that’s there in case I ever lose my mind.” 

This surprises you. You didn’t know he’d ever give it any thought at all.

“I wasn’t seriously thinking I was gonna drink it!” he says hurriedly, his cheeks growing—if it were possible—redder. “It was like a…weird, bad joke. Like, haha, what a great way to escape my mind if I ever hate myself that much. I…dunno.”

You make yourself take a deep breath. You hate it when he says things like this. “Okay, fine. So why did you…?”

“I fought with Saeran,” he says, still looking down. He twiddles his hands in his lap, fiddles with the blanket. “It was stupid. We were just tense about the trial. And then he left, and it got dark, and I was alone, and I just couldn’t…stop thinking about her.”

“Your mother.”

“Yeah.”

He taps a pattern on his thigh, too fast, too hard. You take his hand, wrapping up his fingers in yours. He shoots you a grateful glance.

“It’s hard to explain,” he mutters. “It was like I was possessed. It was this feeling, like if I could…get inside her head somehow, I’d understand.”

“Understand what?” You realize you’re squeezing his hand too hard and you make a conscious effort to loosen your grip.

“Why she didn’t love us,” he says simply. You look up; there are tears in his eyes again. Automatically you reach for him, catching a tear on your fingertip. You kiss it away.

“Did you?” you ask quietly. Slowly, he shakes his head.

“I don’t think I ever will.”

“Oh, Saeyoung…” You hold open your arms for him and he bows his head, falling into you. You cradle his head against your chest, kiss the tears from his eyelashes.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispers.

“You are a wonderful man, and you deserve the world,” you say firmly. You wrap your arms all the way around his waist and squeeze him tight and he exhales, like he’s letting out breath he’s been holding for a long time.

“I’ll never do it again,” he says, his voice muffled by your shirt. “I promise. I mean it.”

You thoughtfully run your fingers through his curls, de-tangling them, pulling them apart one by one. “Can I ask you something I’ve asked you before?” you say tentatively. He nods; you can feel it. “Would it be okay if I just…got some names? My therapist offered to make a list for you before, you know, and you don’t need to commit to anything, but I just—”

“Yes.” He pulls back enough to peer up at you. There are tear tracks on his cheeks again but his expression is sure. “I’d like that.”

His eagerness takes you by surprise. You smile and kiss the tip of his nose.

“Thank you.”

He leans his forehead against yours. “I’m meant to be the one thanking you. You shouldn’t have had to take care of me last night. You should’ve just left me there.”

“Never.” You take a deep breath and he breathes with you, exhaling against your lips, tickling you. “Now would you please explain to me what the hell you were doing that woke me up this morning?”

He giggles, a little guiltily—still, you’re relieved to hear him laugh. “I felt like crap, both physically and emotionally. I thought I could start apologizing by…”

“Slamming the mop against the wall?”

“I don’t…actually know how to use a mop.”

That makes you laugh, and it feels good, like a release. You wrap your arms around his neck and he sighs against you.

“You’re gonna be okay?” you whisper. He nods, gazing at you reverently.

“Because of you,” he says. He strokes your hair with his long, thin fingers—cautiously, gently, like he needs reassurance that you’re still there. “I’m gonna be okay.”

[sunshinejihyun]

Open Secrets - Saeyoung Choi

Summary: A story in which Saeyoung finds a love that ends up being closer than he imagined

Word Count: 3.8K

Masterlist

“Can you at least listen to that with headphones on? I’m trying to work.” Your roommate, Saeyoung called from his room, referring to the loud music you were currently playing in yours.

“I’m in my room, I can do what I want.” You called back but still grabbed your headphones, untangling them and plugging them into your laptop.

Tapping your foot along to the beat of the music, you reached to the floor, grabbing your laptop and going into the hacking forum you found when you were doing research on possibly starting working for a hacking agency. You smiled when you saw a little notification in the corner of your screen, signaling that you had a private message.

707: Hey babe! Got anything fun going today?

MC: just arguing with my roommate, the usual. you?

You and 707 had been talking on the forum for as long as you could remember and one day, he posted something about how annoying his roommate was and how difficult it was to concentrate on his hacking job, and you messaged him telling him how much you sympathized with him, since you had a horrible roommate as well. You both stayed up that night, exchanging stories about your horrible roommates.

707: I want to go out tonight but I’m too behind on work. Wanna video chat? U could entertain me ;)

MC: only if you can entertain me right back. ;)

Along with having horrible roommates, you and 707 had figured out that you guys had the same sort of humor and never ran out of stuff to talk about. You knew he liked to be called 707, he was into rock music, and liked Honey Buddha Chips and Dr. Pepper, and he didn’t really like to share much else about himself, fact wise. But you did know lots of personal things about him, like he has a twin brother who he lost touch with at a young age. All 707 knew about you was from your account: your name and the fact you had an annoying roommate and that you were studying computer science in college, and some of your deepest darkest secrets you had decided to share with him—he hadn’t even hacked you to find out more information. You were intriguing and he wanted to figure you out on his own.

707: C’mon! Aren’t u a little curious about who I am? Because I’m very curious about u. I tend to keep my identity a secret because of my work, but there’s something about u that makes me want to be completely honest about myself.

You felt a pink blush spread across your neck and cheeks.

MC: of course i’m curious. i’m just nervous. i’m probably not what you’d expect.

707: U’re everything I’d want and more.. pls let me know who u r.

MC: i’m sorry, i can’t.

You felt bad, you wanted to meet 707, badly. But there was something about the anonymity that was stopping you. It made you feel safe, protected. He had all your secrets but no face to put them to. You knew things about him he hadn’t told anyone else and if you were actually to put a face to those secrets, it’d be like your two worlds were colliding together.

707: Can I meet u in person?

“(MC), I’m going to the library. It’s your night to make dinner. I’ll be back later.” You looked up from your laptop and made eye contact with Saeyoung. You and Saeyoung weren’t roommates by choice; the campus had overbooked the residence halls this year so they put you and him together in a campus owned apartment.

“Yeah because studying here is so horrible.” You rolled your eyes, throwing a small pillow at Saeyoung. “Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.”

Saeyoung sighed, and mumbled something about how it wouldn’t be horrible if you were gone, and shoved another book in his messenger bag. “Just please, don’t burn down our apartment when I’m gone.”

He closed the door to your room and you looked down at your message from 707 that had still gone unanswered.

MC: when and where? i don’t even know where you live.

You felt your heartbeat increase as you sent the message. What if 707 decided that you weren’t worth meeting in person? What if he was just playing a trick on you? What if- a new response popped up.

707: I can meet u anywhere. I traced ur IP address and I’m close to you to meet wherever ur comfortable. I will come for u!

You read that message and found yourself scrambling to your closet, not even caring that he had violated your privacy by tracing your IP address, and trying to find something more presentable to wear than a black zip up hoodie and some grey sweatpants. Settling on a brown sweater and a black skirt, you quickly typed out a response to 707, telling him to meet you at a bookstore not too far from your apartment before smoothing down your hair.

Your heart was pounding harder than you thought it ever had before. Every step you were taking to the book store brought you closer to the boy that you spent every waking minute talking to. The boy who wedged his way into your heart even though you didn’t even know what he looked like.

You could see the inside now; the old chairs that didn’t match, the books that looked like they had been tossed into water and dried only to be placed back on the shelf. There were two boys in there, one sitting down in a comfy chair, emerged in his book and another one standing and waiting for someone to help him at the register, headphones in his ears.

MC: there’s two people inside. are you here yet?

You saw the boy with headphones take out his phone and type a response and you felt your heart twinge when you realized it was probably 707. Looking down at your phone there was no response. Maybe his data connection was bad?

The boy with the headphones grabbed his bag and started to head outside. As he passed you with a quick glance in your direction, you snuck a peak at the coffee cup he was nursing in his hands. The name on there said Jihyun, not 707.

So your 707 had to be the one on the couch, reading. You walked in and the boy looked up, looking at you confusedly. “MC?”

“Oh, Saeyoung. Hey.” Why was he here? “I thought you were going to the library.”

Saeyoung rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, gesturing to his coffee. “Change of plans, the library was busy with people cramming for finals.” You nodded, looking around the store for another boy. He wouldn’t stand you up. He promised he would meet you.

“I’m gonna head to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” Walking into the bathroom, you took a deep breath. 707 was nowhere to be seen, not that you even knew what he looked like. You pulled your phone out of your back pocket. There was a new message from 707 from a minute ago.

707: U here yet darling? Can’t wait to meet u. I’m sitting on the big blue couch in the main area.

Okay, he’s here. Maybe he just went to the bathroom when you came in. Splashing some cold water on your face to help you calm down, you walked out, only coming face to face with Saeyoung again.

MC: i’m literally standing in the main area and all i see is my stupid roommate.

You could hear Saeyoung’s phone buzz from where you were standing right when you sent that message. He pulled out his phone, read whatever was on his screen and stood up, walking over to you. “This was you? This whole time, the person I’ve been talking to was you, MC?”

Saeyoung looked mad. Hell, you were mad too. “You lied to me! You said your name was 707 and you liked rock music and-”

“You really think you know me? My real name is Saeyoung, 707’s a nickname and you would probably know that if you even tried to get to know me. How should you know what type of music I listen to? Not like you ever tried to like me.”

You felt tears threaten to spill, and you looked at Saeyoung. “I gave my heart to 707 and finding out it’s you is like being lied to. You lied to me.”

“I never lied, MC! You knew my nickname, I was more truthful to you as 707 than I’ve been with anyone for a long time. And how was I supposed to know it was you?” Saeyoung broke off, angrily swiping a tear off his cheek. “I thought it was just a coincidence that the person I was talking to was named MC too. That when I traced your IP address and you were in this area that there was no way, it had to be a fluke. I mean, what were the chances? Not like we could have ever put two and two together, we never made an effort to know each other in person.”

Tears were falling freely down both of your faces. You could just picture how the two of you looked right now, Angry stances, crying, but so much love still in each other’s eyes. This was the man you had fallen in love with, no matter how you felt before, you knew in this moment that this felt right. More right than anything had in a long time.

You looked up at Saeyoung, wiping away tears so you could see him. “What’s gonna happen now? I can’t stand the thought of losing you.” you broke off, another sob coming out of nowhere.

Saeyoung didn’t know how to react; he never had been in a situation like this before. Not like many can say they had. So he did the only thing he thought of:  Saeyoung lightly grabbed your chin, looking into your eyes, trying to find any sign of resistance before he kissed you. But he didn’t find anything in them but want and love.

It wasn’t a pretty kiss. You had been crying, your lips were chapped and he could taste the saltiness of the tears. This was Saeyoung’s first kiss, he didn’t know what to do and you weren’t exactly very responsive in all of this.

Saeyoung pulled away, brushing his thumb against your lower lip. “I-I-I should go. I’ll see you later at the apartment I guess.”

He waited a few moments before giving up hope that you’d say anything. Turning and grabbing his bag, he felt you grab his forearm, making him turn back to you.

And then your lips were on his. This time, you were the one in control. It was a rough kiss, full of anger and possibly hatred but definitely love and passion. Saeyoung dropped his bag to the floor, one arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you closer to him, the other hand knotting itself into your hair.

Pulling away, you looked up at Saeyoung shyly. “Can I walk home with you?”

Saeyoung smiled, grabbing his bag once more, holding his arm out for you to take. “I’ve never heard you call the apartment home before.”

You shrugged. “I always thought wherever 707 was, that would be home. I guess it took me too long to realize that I’ve been home all along.”

-

Six months later, you were sitting squished in between Zen and Yoosung on the dingy green couch that resided in the living room of your apartment. Jaehee was sitting at the small kitchen table, her laptop and various piles of paperwork spread around her. Sending a desperate glance at Saeyoung, he shrugged, silently apologizing with his eyes. You and Saeyoung were going to have a night in and watch some Netflix, maybe order some Chinese food since he was done with his current project for work and you two haven’t spent much time together lately. But when Saeyoung got a call from Yoosung asking what he was doing, your boyfriend panicked, inviting over his best friend and in turn, resulted in Yoosung telling Zen and Jaehee tag along, Jumin was invited but he declined, claiming he had work to do.

Since you and Saeyoung found out that both of you were talking to each other online, it took awhile for you two to find the same connection in person; it was awkward and frustrating and at points, both of you wanted to give up, but you pushed through and now you couldn’t be happier together. Once you two found your rhythm, he invited you to join this charity organization with some other people he knew, since you were finishing up with school and were looking for something to do. Perfect timing too, because the role you took in the organization was something that had recently opened up due to something tragic happening to a former member named Rika.

It’s not that you and Saeyoung were ashamed of your relationship, far from it actually. You wanted to shout it from the rooftops that you were in love with Saeyoung Choi, but It was just easier to let the other members of the RFA figure it out on their own without making it into a big deal. So here you were, sitting between Yoosung and Zen with Saeyoung on a loveseat next to all by himself. Shooting another look at Saeyoung, you silently got up, heading to the bathroom.

Once you left the room, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket and you pulled it out.

RFA Messenger: Message from: 707

Unlocking your phone, you smiled as the old name you knew Saeyoung as brought old memories back. Only you knew him as Saeyoung and to protect his identity, he was either Luciel, 707, or Seven around friends. Your phone quickly brought you to the message your boyfriend sent you.

It really sucks when u’re sitting in the same room as 2 other people who r talking about having a crush on ur gf.

From the other room, you heard someone exclaim loudly and you quickly washed your hands, walking back in the room to find Zen and Yoosung huddled around Yoosung’s phone. Deciding now was a good moment, you sat next to Saeyoung and set your hand on his thigh, just wanting to touch him as you haven’t had this chance in a while due to him being so busy.

“What are they freaking out about?” Saeyoung covered your hand with his, moving the intertwined hands slightly farther down his thigh.

“You know that text I sent you?” You nodded, looking at him inquisitively. “Well… Yoosung might have accidentally received it first.”

Yoosung walked over to you, successfully wedging himself in between you and Saeyoung. “So… you two are dating?” You nodded, biting your lip. “I don’t understand why it was something that needed to be hidden.” You and Saeyoung opted to stay quiet, not really sure how to respond to that statement

“To be fair, he has a point.” Zen called from the other couch, his head buried in a pillow. Jaehee has stayed quiet through this interaction, but now had stopped her typing to watch what was going to happen. “We‘re all in an organization together. V’s hiding things first, and now you two are as well.”

Shaking your head, you stood up and stretched before brushing down your shirt slightly when you noticed Saeyoung staring at the patch of bare skin that was showing. “The difference is that we weren’t hiding us dating, we just didn’t think it needed to be a whole announcement and if anyone asked we’d have told everyone right away. We figured that you guys would figure it out on your own. Whatever V’s got going on is his stuff, and he will come to us when he’s ready. So leave him out of it, these are two very different situations.” No one said anything after that.

Yoosung slouched down into the couch, nervously biting his nails, Zen stared at the white and cracked ceiling, like he was trying to put together a puzzle. Jaehee suddenly seemed very interested in her work again. Saeyoung was nervously drumming on his thighs and waiting for anyone to react.

Giving up on getting any sort of response out of them, you  headed to your room, moving to close the door but a foot stopped you. You opened the door and before you could say anything, Saeyoung’s hands were grazing your hips and his lips were attached to yours sweetly. “Goodnight, darling.”

Saeyoung brought a hand up to brush his thumb against your tinged pink cheeks and you grabbed his hand, lightly kissing his palm. “Are you coming in tonight?”

Since you figured out who 707 really was, you and Saeyoung have changed some of your sleeping arrangements. If Saeyoung was able to go to bed at night, he would crawl under your covers and wrap his arms around you whether you were awake or not; both of you found that when he started sleeping in your bed, you’ve both had been sleeping a lot better.

Saeyoung bit his lip nervously, looking over his shoulder before leaning down to press another quick kiss to your lips. “I’ll see what I can do, Yoosung might stay over and if that happens, I’ll probably give him my bed.”

You nodded your head, detaching yourself from his grip. “Have fun with the boys but don’t bother Jaehee too much.”

Saeyoung sent you one last smile before exiting your room and closing your door. You crawled in your bed and clicked on the RFA chat room, an idea starting to form in your head. You bit your lip, going into the text messages and thought of some messages that could make your boyfriend become a little flustered.

I think about you moaning my name a lot

Your body pressed against mine

My hands in your hair as you kiss my neck

Utter bliss

You could hear Saeyoung’s phone going off like crazy and you giggled to yourself, just picturing his face blushing red when he read those messages.

“Seven what’s the matter?” Zen’s voice brought you back to reality and you could just picture your boyfriend, sitting on his hands, his neck and cheeks flushed a bright red, and he was doing everything he could to avoid eye contact with everyone.

“N-nothing, I’ve gotta go to the bathroom, I’ll be back.” A few moments later, your door was being opened and then closed again, Saeyoung coming over and hovering over you, his hands placed on the bed on either side of your face. “You think it's funny? Sending me in things you know will make me crazy?”

You giggled, putting your right hand on the back of his neck, guiding his lips to yours. “It was a little funny.” Saeyoung let a low growl rip through his throat and he connected your lips feverently. You pushed him back slightly. “Y’know what we should do?”

“Really? You’re trying to talk now?” Saeyoung’s lips were ghosting across your neck and you had to struggle to push him away again.

“Take a picture of us together right now, and send it in the RFA chat room, and be like “oops guess you know our secret now”.

He agreed, opening the RFA messenger and pressing the new chat room button. You joined right away and you both waited until the other members logged in - sans V.

Not two seconds after Saeyoung posted the pictures, you heard Yoosung’s phone ding from the next room. “WHAT THE HECK?”

“You left us to go make out?” Zen, Jaehee, and Yoosung pushed their way into your room, not even caring about invading your privacy. “Don’t you have any decency?”

“Nah,” Saeyoung shrugged before burying his head in your shoulder and you giggled softly as you felt his breath tickle your neck.

Zen sent Saeyoung an exasperated look. “You better not act like a wolf to her alright? I know how men get around a beautiful lady so you better treat MC right.”

You giggled and Zen glared at you, sitting down on the bed next to you and Saeyoung, Yoosung and Jaehee following suit. Jaehee cleared her throat. “So how’d it happen? How’d you two get together?”

Saeyoung smiled widely, recounting the moments up to when you two got together. “And so now, since I had a free night off from work, we were actually trying to have a night in by ourselves tonight but-”

“Say no more,” Jaehee interjected, grabbing Zen and Yoosung by their wrists. “We’ll get out of your way. Have fun, but be safe!”

Yoosung waggled his eyebrows at Saeyoung and Saeyoung wanted to shrink into your mattress, opting to bury his face in your neck instead.

“I didn’t know Seven was capable of having feelings,” you heard Zen mention to his two friends on their way out the door, making you laugh as you heard a loud smack and Zen exclaim “don’t blemish my perfect skin!”

Once the front door closed, you brought Saeyoung’s head back up and kissed him. “So where were we before we were interrupted?” Saeyoung grinned, pushing you back down on the bed and covered your lips with his own, happy to stay up doing more things other than hacking.

As soon as he started making his way down towards you chest, both of your phones went off and he groaned, reaching for his own.

Jumin Han: If anyone didn’t know that Luciel and MC were dating, than you’re more stupid than I previously thought.

707: Jumin, just cuz u accidentally received one of my ~pictures~ meant for MC does not mean u figured it out on ur own

Yoosung★: Pictures? T_T

ZEN: Speaking of pictures, want to see a new one I took today?

Jaehee Kang: Zen, please share with us your beauty, for it will brighten even the night sky.

707: As lovely as this conversation is, I’m going to go kiss my girlfriend now.

707 has left the chatroom.

ZEN: I still don’t understand how Seven was able to get a girlfriend before me, especially since I am so good looking.

MC has left the chatroom.

You put down your phone and grinned up and Saeyoung who was already looking at you adoringly. “So… now that they’re gone, what do you want to do?” You asked, playing with his fingers.

“Want to play LOLOL as random people and make Yoosung upset because he’s losing to us?” Saeyoung looked at you with a wicked grin and you felt the same smirk make its way onto your face.

“Do you even have to ask?” You laughed as he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, taking you to the living room where his computer station was set up.

To anyone else, this would be a horrible way to spend your one night together. But to you and Saeyoung, as long as you were in each other’s company, that’s what mattered most.

[boba-xing]

Captivating {Chapter 7}

Fem!Reader x Werewolf!Choi Seungcheol (SVT)

Warnings: swearing, dark themes/mentions of torture

Tagged: @suhappysuho @captain-brie @seekerbabygirl @moon8894 @yippee-kay-yay @sehunnies-hunnie96 @lovinggalaxies @brokenbutchocolate @amixoferrthang @onewoowonderboy​ @hhhhwww7 @9rachacha @sksk-x @haluim17 @jelly-fishy-babie @sakura-uji @psshwa​

-

You’re sitting on Seungcheol’s bed, a glass of water in your shaking hand, barely able to speak. Your mind is flooded with a mixture of fear and wonder of what is happening downstairs. Since Seungcheol carried your frozen frame upstairs a silence has passed over the house.

Said man is currently sitting opposite you, at the end of the bed, clearly concentrating hard on what he should say. After what feels like hours of waiting he finally speaks, “You said you were interested in mythology...vampires and stuff like that.”

He’s looking at you now, analysing your fearful expression as you nod.

“Well, vampires don’t exist, of course.” he nods, “But, werewolves, well, they d-”

“You’re telling me that was a werewolf?” you breathe,

“Y-yes, yes it was.” 

“In your living room?”

“It’s more complicated than that though.” he scratches the back of his neck, “You see, it’s kind of hard to say. I’m not sure if you’re going to believe me.”

You just stare at him.

“Well, me and the boys, we’re a pack...um, a pack of werewolves. We can turn into them, it’s just, well, that really.” He bites the inside of his cheek, blinking at you,

“What?”

“We’re werewolves.” he repeats, “I’m the leader of the pack, I’m an alpha and that’s why I have such authority over the others. And the blood on the shirt you saw on the first night you came here, that was from an attack...another pack.”

You look at him for a moment, taking in everything he’s saying and trying to understand what you think.

It’s bullshit.

You slam the glass down on the bedside table before storming out of the room and down the stairs, Seungcheol following close behind you. You turn around once you’re outside the door. “I’m not taking part in your sick fantasy! What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Is this some kind of furry convention or something?”

“___, I swear to god I’m not making this stuff up! I’m being serious.” he says, clearly frustrated. 

Instead of answering him, you scurry down the driveway. You have absolutely no idea where you’re going to go considering you’re basically surrounded by woods with no transport. You pull at your hair, arm forcefully grabbed by Seungcheol to pull you back in his direction.

“For fucks sake, ___, I’m not playing. I know this is hard to believe, but don’t you feel bad for me? Even a little? I can’t help being like this. The boys can’t help being like this! This is just how we were born.” His eyes are wet with tears, “Please, just hear me out. We’re not going to hurt you, I’d never hurt you, you know that!”

“You’re crazy!” You rip your arm out of his grasp and rush away, legs carrying you as fast as you can down the driveway. You manage to pull your phone out, slowing down as you realise Seungcheol is no longer following you. You call Jihyun, your friend from work, and she kindly agrees to come pick you up.

You can feel Seungcheol's eyes on you as you wait for her to arrive and you already know he's going it'll only be a moment before he comes over.

And it is.

As he draws closer you see the tear stains on his cheek, and the determination on his face to pull himself together. "___, please listen to me. I would never lie to you. And I'm not crazy, even if I am, at least I care about you."

You look away from him.

"I know it's hard for you to understand, but I just want the best for you, I want you to be safe. I want you to be loved, and happy, and with me. I care about you, so much, please don't cut me off because you don't understand something." He begs.

Headlights drawing near catch your attention and you stand up as the car approaches, Jihyun's friendly face appearing in the window.

"Bye, Seungcheol." You say quietly as you get in the car.

---

“Please, please, let me go.” You beg, arms yanking at the handcuffs in hope you’ll somehow break free,

The dark figure in front of you just laughs, completely warped and unrecognisable.

“Please.” You cry, hot tears streaming down your cheeks as you pant, breathless, “I’ll do anything, whatever you want! What do you want from me? Please!”

“Maybe you should’ve listened to him.” the voice cackles,

“Listened to who?” You sob, letting your head fall down to face your shaking legs,

The voice doesn’t reply and instead you hear heavy footsteps drawing closer. You jump as a hand finds your neck, gripping it tight and squeezing, squeezing until all the air has left your lungs.

You wake up drenched in sweat, body shaking as you try to calm your breaths. Taking a moment to pull yourself together, you sit up and glance around the dark room. 

You don’t like the dark.

With a sigh you make you your way to the bathroom and wash your face with some reluctance. Although startling, the cold water clears your lungs and calms you down.

You draw yourself over to the kitchen, grabbing yourself a glass of water. You only take a few sips before placing it down on the counter, realising you forgot to close the curtains. A chill runs up your spine. Someone could easily be watching you right now.

You hesitantly make your way over to the window, glancing down at the street. There’s one car you recognise, and as your eyes meet the driver you realise he was already looking at you.

Slipping on a coat and shoes, you scurry down as fast as you can, rushing over to the car as soon as you’re out of the building.

“Joshua?” you ask,

“Get in.” He says after rolling down the window, “Not to go somewhere, just to talk.”

You nod, hopping in the car and shutting the door securely. “What are you doing here?”

“Watching.” he looks at you, somewhat serious, “In case anyone tries to get to you again.”

“Let me guess, Seungcheol sent you?”

“Well, yes, but I’d like to think I would’ve done it anyway.” a small smile forms on his face, “We’re friends.”

You nod, glancing down at your hands.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” he asks with a frown, “Not tired?”

“I slept terribly.”

“I don’t blame you, after tonight I wouldn’t sleep well either.”

You rest your head against the headrest.

“Listen.” He begins, “I know you don’t want to believe it, but the whole werewolf thing is true. And if you just gave us a chance, maybe you would realise we aren’t the man-eating monsters everyone makes us out to be.”

“Werewolves aren’t real.”

“It doesn’t matter whether you think they’re real or not, you like the fantasy, that’s why you drown yourself in fairytales and folklore. Sure, it’s not as scary, or as sweet, as it’s made out to be. But how can you run away from something you’ve dreamed of?”

“I watch horror films, that doesn’t mean I want to be in one.” You sigh,

“It’s not like a horror film.” he groans, “Sure we turn into big, dangerous wolves, but we’re still human. We’re still people.”

You look up at him.

“What is it you’re afraid of?”

“I don’t know any of you, like really know you. I’m supposed to be staying in a house with a bunch of men, who are apparently werewolves, with a...I guess...boyfriend? Who scares the living shit out of me when he gets mad and apparently knows exactly where I am all the time. It’s weird?! What part of that sounds appealing to you?” you explain, “And to add to that, I’m being stalked by some creep who drugs people close to me.”

“I know. But ___, just give us a chance, okay? Seungcheol really cares about you and he only wants you to be safe and happy. Come back home with me, and we can sort things out.” he pushes, knowing his next sentence would have him thoroughly beaten if Seungcheol knew he said it, “If you go a week and realise you don’t want to be around us, that’s fine, you can leave.”

This whole situation is crazy. You never signed up for this. You want to go back to your life before this, curled up in bed, single and eating pringles, but you know you can’t....and there’s a small spark of hope in your heart that maybe, just maybe this whole situation could work out? Maybe Seungcheol could be the one for you, and maybe this whole werewolf situation is real...but safe? You know you won’t be able live with yourself if you don’t follow this path. You need to know what happens.

“Please?”

“O-okay.” you nod, Joshua instantly beaming at you, 

“Thank you!” He laughs a little, slamming his hand down on the steering wheel,

“I’ll be back in a second, I’m gonna go and get my phone.” you say before moving swiftly out of the car.

You make it back up to your apartment, rushing to your bedroom to grab your handbag and phone before scurrying back out to Joshua’s car. Of course, you fail to notice the previously full glass of water you left on the counter is now empty, and your purse is home to a small, bitter note.

[manggojooz]

Pick A Side (Part 7)

pairing: Taehyung x reader

word count: approx. 1,700

genre: university!au; angst; romance; slice of life stuff

warnings: references to school bullying; references to voyeuristic behaviour

previous part: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 

taglist: @destiel1597 @mila271 @hopetookmysoul @ximaginx@honeyursosweet @coffeecupyoongs @bangtanbaesstuff​  @annoyingpessimist @betysotelo18 @okaysoplshelpme

comments: i know i promised fluff... but there isn’t any coz... this is actually only half of the originally planned part 7 >.< the writing got a bit out of hand T.T i am so sorry, but that also means there’s gonna be a part 8 soon! -hopefully-

“Ya, Kim Taehyung, what’s going on with your ex-girlfriends? The whole school is talking about them...”, Yoongi came up behind Taehyung when he saw him walking into the campus.  

Taehyung was only staring at the gravel pavement as he sauntered on, fighting off the memory of you leaving the café with Haejoong. He didn’t even catch what Yoongi had said until Yoongi wrapped an arm around his shoulder and shouted “YA!” into his ears.  

Yoongi had to explain the whole situation to his oblivious junior, only to have Taehyung abruptly shoot up from the bench he sat at with Yoongi upon hearing the news.

“Where are you going...”, Yoongi asks unsurprised, a hand holding up his chin, “... to find the victim or the...”, Yoongi did not believe you would do something like that as well and he had difficulty finding a suitable term to refer to you.  

“Do you know where they are?”, Taehyung asked anxiously.  

“Mmm, I didn’t see Jihyun at all today, but I saw Y/N at the student office...”, Yoongi spoke slowly and Taehyung was about to dash off in the direction of the student office, “... hey hey! She left already! With her friend... what’s that guy’s name again?”, Yoongi tried to recall his name dispassionately.  

Taehyung’s body halts like an emergency brake was activated. He forgot. He wasn’t the one that you wanted by your side anymore. Where did he think he was going? Who did he think he was?  

“Haejoong”, Taehyung whispers, his teeth slightly clenching.  

“Yeah yeah, that’s his name... Haejoong”, Yoongi snaps a finger at finally remembering.  

Hearing the name repeated back to him causes him to see the same two back views walking away from him again, the echoes of your footsteps surrounding him. Taehyung backs up and sits down on the bench next to Yoongi, putting his face into one of his huge palms, closing his eyes and wishing that the scene would stop replaying before him, he doesn’t want to see it again... just stop, please.  

---

He didn’t look for either Jihyun or you in the next few days but he did text and call a lot, hoping there would at least be one reply. But there were none.   

Everyone in school seemed to be talking about it though and he would hear random students making comments about the both of you. Some said Jihyun was attention-seeking, some said she was a boyfriend-stealer, some pitied her, and some just made lewd remarks. He wanted to stand up for her or to just punch those objectifying her, but he couldn’t. If he defended her, if he protected her, what would that make you?  

The gossip about you were not kind as well. Some called you vengeful, some called you a bully, some said it might not be you after all, and some joked that your photos should be uploaded too. He fought himself the hardest, he fought the urge to just speak up for you, to punish them for you, because he knew he couldn’t. If he defended you, if he protected you, what would that make Jihyun?  

---

Taehyung watches as Haejoong walks into class alone. You were not here. Jihyun was not here either.  

“Where’s Y/N?”, Taehyung demanded after the lecture finally ended.  

“I honestly don’t know. I went to her hostel a few times but no one responded when I knocked. I texted and called her too and she didn’t answer. Maybe she’s just lying low for the time being like how the student office lady asked her to... What about Jihyun? Is she alright?”, Haejoong answered mild-manneredly.  

Taehyung doesn’t answer his question and turns to dash off, breezing past Hyesoo who was about to approach the both of them.  

“Hey, are you ignoring me or you don’t know the answers either?”, Haejoong raises his voice just enough for Taehyung to hear him but Taehyung doesn’t bother turning back, having made up his mind about where he is heading to next.  

Of course he knew the answer – neither of you are alright.  

---

The brick-paved walkway heading towards the girls’ hostel formed a daunting fork before him. He has taken these paths countless of times, but today he stood here, waiting. He wasn’t waiting for anyone, he was waiting for himself to come around. 

He was the dim-witted idiot who couldn’t read his own feelings, who couldn’t make the necessary decisions, who avoided hurting anyone but ended up hurting everyone. Thanks to that he has taken himself out of the position to be looking out for either of you. But he is still concerned, and even if none of you wanted to see him, he needed to know that you were safe.

Formulating the decision of which path he wanted to take was not that difficult, the paralysing part was his concern for the well-being of path he wasn’t going to take. 

He glances at the walkway on the right, knowing how much he had already hurt her. He digs out his phone from his pockets and sends a message to her, asking her if she was doing ok and telling her to call him anytime she wants to, they are still friends after all. As he clicks the button sending out the message, he turns to head down the pathway to the left instead.  

With that he ended outside your dorm room. He banged on your door a few times but there was no response. So, he headed back down the stairs and went looking for you at all the places he could think of. 

It was already almost ten at night when he decided to go back to your hostel and try again. He rattled your room door so loudly that your neighbour had to come out and shout at him to leave the dorm. But somehow he felt like you were inside and thus he wouldn’t budge, not unless someone physically drags him away from your door.  

His persistence paid off though. When you finally answered the door, the boulder crushing his lungs finally lifted. But when he saw the state you were in, the boulder drops right back onto his heart instead.  

You looked at your neighbour and she was saying a few things to you that Taehyung couldn’t hear, the static in his mind overtaking him again. How many days have you been like this? Should he take you to the doctor? What if you didn’t want to talk to him at all? But he really couldn’t leave you like this. Why are you being like this over some rumours? Why is he being like this, clinging to your side even though you may be happier if it were someone else here and not him? 

You said something back to your neighbour, expending all the air that was still left in your lungs. Then you turn to look at Taehyung and spoke to him weakly, your eyes still out of focus, “Let’s talk outside...”  

---

His wet coat now hung at your window. The sound of the erratic hairdryer echoing in the room. And the smell of hot chocolate filling the air.  

It was not the first time you smuggled the boy into your room. Taehyung sat at your desk, ruffling his hands through his hair, a mug sitting precariously near his swinging arm. You couldn’t let him just head off in the biting cold of the night dripping wet from the bucket of water he took for you.  

You sat on your bed, your hands absorbing the warmth emitting from the porcelain. You don’t even remember how many days you have been lying indoors, not bothering to take in any sustenance until now.  

Suddenly the sound of the hairdryer was cut off, Taehyung looked up at you swiftly. “Aishhhh, I forgot about that...”, he unhappily mutters to himself and shoots up to march towards his coat.  

He reaches his hands into one of the inner pockets and pulls out something that looked like a snack. Primping up the packaging, he walked over and hands it to you when you see that it is the red bean bread you always bought from the convenient store.  

“I passed by the convenient store on the way and got it just in case you hadn’t been eating...”, he forces a smile at you.  

As he sat back down at your table, he sees the various post-it notes stuck to your mirror, the ones with the poems written for your photographs over the past weeks.  

“You kept all of these?”, he pointed at them.  

“All of what?”, you weren’t sure he was referring to what you thought he was referring to.  

“These notes I wrote to you... I thought you wouldn’t even read them...”, he answered with a little stammer, because his insides were trembling with the slightest excitement that you too, still had feelings for him.  

“Wait wha... what? These were written by you?”, the astonishment apparent in your voice and you stood up from your bed to walk over so that you could be certain of what he was pointing at.  

“You can’t recognise that these are my handwriting?” His heart drops as quickly as it rose a moment ago. You didn’t even know the notes were from him? If you knew maybe you wouldn’t have kept it. When was he going to learn to face it... that you no longer wanted him. 

“Taehyung, we weren’t together for that long... I don’t... how would I remember...”, it was your turn to stammer.  

“I remember how your handwriting looks like...”, and without giving you a chance to deliberate a response, he turns on the hair dryer again, so that he wouldn’t need to hear your reply, so that he can cut out the sounds in his own head. It felt like he was submerged in something, suffocating, struggling and a loud, dark but muted sound rang on in his ears.  

You were right. The two of you only dated for a few months. You must have let go of those feelings and those memories by now. It’s fine, he will hold on to them himself, until such time he was ready to let go.  

You had no idea what kind of anguish Taehyung was going through, and you only thought he was angry that you didn’t recognise that the notes were from him. 

You sat down on the floor next to your bed, resting your back against the frame and holding your knees close to your chest. You thought back to how much you shunned him ever since you broke up with him, how much you blamed him for not being there for you... and then to the words he said to you earlier: 

“I don’t want to stand on your side, Y/N, I want to stand by your side. I’m not here trying to pick the side that is wrong or right. Everyone makes mistakes. I just… don’t want you to be alone.”

“It’s not me...”, you muttered, after a long while.  

Taehyung turns off the hairdryer to hear you better, his left hand still grabbing a tuff of his hair.  

“Jihyun’s photos... it’s not me...”  

He never actually had a doubt.  

“But I did hurt someone really badly in high school... ”, you continued, poignantly.  

[fandomplethora]

mystic messenger webtoon

(repost since my last post disappeared OTL) 

LONG POST

warning: unorganized, rambling thoughts lol. (i’m all over the place right now, guys)

you guys. i have never been more excited and more *terrified* in my life.

let’s break it down.

it is officially announced that mystic messenger, as a webtoon, will be returning to us on april 11th. the prologue has already been released today.

LINK BUT HAHA IT’S ALL IN KOREAN T_T

from what i have been able to read *very briefly* is that there is no plan for an english (or any other language) translation just yet. it will be released on bookcube, a pay to read site.

(someone on reddit mentioned a hope that it may come to tappytoon or tapas? but there is no confirmation of any other site besides bookcube.)

that being said - we have *wonderful* people in this fandom already ready with some english translations! at the very least :’)  

B O O M

creds, yo

let’s go into my (personal) negative outlooks first! (maybe i shouldn’t use an exclamation point when talking somewhat negatively...)

1. (not super negative) b u t - our mc is different. :,( i’m just attached to the idea of mc w/ bangs and long brown hair - the gold eyes. while other mc’s have made their way into art and ect...the mc from the game is the most popular one. i don’t understand the need for the change...besides to perhaps build upon this new version of the story with a brand new character. because mc *like this*, in this format, is a new character. she will, hopefully, have her own personality and traits and maybe backstory? even a minor one. b u t that could also, in the eyes of some people, be a negative...and, to others, a positive. we, as players, have been the mc this entire time so while good ending mc is looked at as, mainly, canon - which brings some fundamental characteristics to her character such as being empathetic, kind and...holy shit, incredibly *flexible* (like, apartment bomb? “nbd.” brand new group of people? “dope, let’s be friends.” cult? “well, what are we gonna do about it then.” mc, are you okay? mc: “are y o u g u y s okay tho?”)  mc has not had her own story. does this mean she will now? now we may get new traits on top of those, a unique personality to who t h i s character is.

SIDE NOTE: *SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE* ya’ll, holy shit...is MC getting a name? she has to get a name now. AAAAA, okay this may go another direction and i may just have another character in this damn story i’d willingly throw myself in front of a car for. dAMN IT.

2. okay, it somewhat makes sense that saeyoung would NOT be there in the introduction of the four to this mc shown in the webtoon prologue. same with jihyun. of course, with saeran. but my fear is...i want equal relationship development with every character. unless they are approaching this in a “reset” type of way...(which i’m not sure if they will tbh).

from, my guess, the already meeting of them (all at the same time) shows us that we may just be on one big route with almosteverything included? which i am down for. but...then do it like that, right? bring saeyoung and jihyun into the picture, as well, more consistently. bring vanderwood in too due to his major role in saeyoung’s route, the secret endings and the entirety of another story. (y’know? what could be considered the “main plotline” that affects everyone in mm.)  he IS a part of it. also, more moments with saeran. perhaps we will get (new) more mint eye scenes? a type of back and forth?

i’m really not trying to dictate how this story should go. i really am interested in this new take and what it may come with. but i just want...everyone there, y’know? i want those relationships equally delved into - how we all got to know them as we completed all routes and other dlc’s on the game.

3. i’m just...kind of scared of being disappointed. or *too much* changing. or...characters being made out in a way they are not? if that makes sense. i’m not trying to set it up for that...to play some “i’ve been here over three years and i know more than you” type of role, haha. they can bring in all of the angst from the game...but maybe change a few things to handle it better? deeper? make sure characters are more universally okay? add some things in too if you want! i also understand if not everything makes it in.

but they have a chance of really reigniting the fandom and also growing it. mm is a wonderful story that does capture your heart. and cheritz has done a lot of good, more good than bad in my eyes (personally!)...but also...sometimes have messed up too. i just want them to do the game, the characters and themselves justice.

P O S I T I V I T Y T I M E

1. okay, guys. c’mon. this mc is super cute UwU (not that that is what it’s all about lol) but i’m hoping we get to know her as a new character with unique traits. i’m excited to see her added into the story and for her interactions. we should all root for her! because we have allll been her shoes already, guys. <3 (also, as someone else pointed out, peep that bisexual bob, ya’ll.) let’s do this!

2. THE ART STYLE IS A M A Z I N G. they ALL look so good to me. i saw them and immediately went “there they are”. :’) kind of got emotional, ngl.

3. i do believe in one positive change that is going to happen! we are meeting them *right away* at least from what i can tell from this panel -

i think this makes sense in order to see the story in this form (and i even said this so long ago in another post when musing about changes if they ever made mm into a tv show). meeting them right away makes sense. and i am glad they are doing it this way! that made me excited to see. (and now you guys know what i mean about every character, hopefully, getting the part they deserve in this webtoon that i mentioned earlier.)

4. so, i may be getting ahead of myself and i am NOT trying to continually ask for more and more. but the fact that this game became a webtoon...means it could become a show one day. perhaps this is a way to test the waters? feel it out and see where things go. either way though, a webtoon happening (all on it’s own) is beyond exciting.

5. there will be new additions to this fandom! just the other day (and, as i’m sure, many of us feel too) i just miss this game and fandom so much. i’m not ready for it to just be over, i think. mystic messenger meant, it means, so much to me - so much to others. it is a wonderful story, a different approach to this genre while including important themes and filled with i n c r e d i b l e characters. things are not perfect but maybe...this can be the boost we all need again. and i am excited to welcome people into this fandom!

let’s all be kind to each other.

final thoughts;

i’m probably going to hunting down a translation all over the place on april 11th (and every release following, haha). i hope we do see this story translated in numerous languages - to include our, truly, worldwide fandom. i will be reading this and i am excited for this new part and chapter of this fandom and story! to see it this way and read it as such. i’m glad to see a boost to this fandom and to find my love for mystic messenger again...and hopefully others will too!

overall - THANK YOU, CHERITZ. and while i am incredibly nervous - i am going to remain (mostly) positive and excited! and only *slightly* skeptical.

i’d love to hear anyone else’s thoughts and discuss more about this.

and i can’t wait to see you all (and welcome even more) into the messenger again. <3

until then!

oh, and also...

...same, mc. same.

[marshmallowprotection]

Kait Reacts To The AE 3/?

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. So, Spoilers AHOY. Expect Another post like this tomorrow, there is just too many chats to put it all in one post. So, hey, if you click this, you’re opening yourself to spoilers, you make the choice.

[19:11 + Visual Novel]

Okay, oh boy. Saeran made a chatroom that’s safe for us. That was really fast in a short amount of time so I’m always awed at how fast and he and Saeyoung are able to make progress and work because it’s so... quick. It almost seems like it should be impossible when they work. So, he did it. Though, now that that has been done, he admits that we need to talk about what’s coming now. He wants to find out what he can. 

There’s no choice. 

We have to see this through and we have to find Saeyoung. He’s not going to run in without thinking and that’s my boy. He knows what we’re doing here and how risky it could be. I knew that we were going to go with him because of the passport package, that literally implied that either we were going to have a time for a honeymoon by the end of this route, or we were going to travel with the RFA to find Saeyoung, or Saeran and the player traveling. 

That was easy to surmise! 

That being said, I feel like I should point how the fusion of Suit Saeran and Ray as he becomes Saeray or GE Saeran. He’s not quite both of them pushed into one place and he’s not quite one or the other, he’s own person with the past and experiences of those two. So, he has the memories of both to draw back on and see when he wants to know. They both had different memories and experiences so when they came together, those personalities met and united. 

I won’t lie, it warms my heart when Saeran says that my heart warmed his and helped him. He did that for me and he doesn’t even know it. 

What strikes me as odd here is the fact that everyone keeps saying over and over that we, the player, are the reason that things are the way that they are. I don’t know, it feels like Reset Theory to me or them breaking the fourth wall for some reason. I’m not controlling everything, as far as they know, so maybe they just are being modest. 

I don’t know, it’s a theme that keeps persisting and bugging me as I’m playing because: I’m not the one that broke free of the control and manipulation, Saeran, you did that yourself. I may have helped you see it but you decided and did that.  I appreciate them noting that I helped along the way but I’m just MC. I’m just here for the ride. Is that tone bothering anyone else?

Anyways, as I expected, Saeran asked us to come with him. I note that there is a parallel to Seven’s Bad Ending. You can tell him that you want to leave and never look back at anyone. That likely leads to a Bad Ending but I’m not going to click that. The goal here is to be a peacekeeper and a middleman who is also concise and blunt. 

Although, Saeran is a little intense here. I hope he knows that I’d die for him just as fast as he’d die for me. 

Anyways, the novel jumps over to Saeyoung at the last second. He is awake again. The Boss says: “You’re awake. Now, let’s wait and see if your knight will make it in time by the end of the day.” 

Okay, that’s not good. 

Oh, and you receive a phone call after this! It’s from Jumin’s Dad. My god, I got a call from Driver Kim after the 4PM chat, but I never thought I would speak to Jumin’s Dad. Chairman is curious... too curious. He wants to know more about what happened with V. Somehow... he knows that V used the smoke bomb and that made me confused. Did Saeran say something about V? How can he know? And, this man called me from Zen’s phone!

It didn’t have a lock.

Zen hates modern technology. 

I wasn’t going to tell Chairman Han about Rika, or anything. He isn’t sure why V did what he did. I told him to ask Jumin. I know his dad worries about Jumin for real but I’m not gonna spill the beans. We can’t do that. He does sound like he does care even though we know he and Jumin are strained. So, I can’t fault him for that but one my biggest questions is: How did V know the agency? Was his dad involved? 

The agency is told to us by Saeran to be one that is a big ring... the biggest in the world. So... rich people would use it. Did Jumin’s dad get involved in that or even Jihyun’s dad? is that how? 

He also says that he is a bit jealous of ours and Saeran’s love. 

Tells us about his forlorn love-life.

He wishes that we can find Saeyoung, at least. Oh, and remember the Agency saying that they were going to slander the RFA and C&R? Yeah, this is already in motion.

AND THAT’S NOT ALL. SAEYOUNG CHOI. NO. I know you don’t want us to come because it’s a trap but... I’m so worried about you honey. I’m so worried about you right now. I know he can survive hell. He didn’t sleep, eat, or drink for three days on the HBC mission. But... this isn’t good. He can access the safe chat, too. It’s just Saeran, myself, and him. But... what about the agency? 

[20:44]

While I do love being able to see young Saeran... I don’t like the context of why Rika is doing this. So, Saeran comes into the chatroom. We talk about his time at the cathedral. He makes it clear that... he feels complicated about his mother, yes, she was a monster to him, but that was his only family at the time. He didn’t have Saeyoung. He didn’t want to lose that last connection. He said that every person at the church was nice to him. 

But, he never saw Rika or Jihyun as a mother or father. Just people looking out for him. In all honesty, I really never wanted Saeran to have to talk to Rika ever again. I hated that he was going to have to go through this again because that last talk with her on day 10 was perfect. He spoke his peace and said she would never have power over him again. 

Rika’s point here... I’m not sure. She feels like they were a family, like they were close and happy. She clearly wants to rip the rug from under Saeran and bring him down again. She tries to bring up his mother, bring up family, try to guilt him into this. Guilt him into leaving alone. I don’t like it. Rika wants to make herself feel better about what happened. 

She doesn’t even... It’s all about how she phrases this. It’s all about, “What about me? What about ME? What am I supposed to do to be a good parent?” Ma’am, you lost that right. You don’t get to ask that to him. You don’t get to be his mother or claim him. He’s not an object. He’s not toy. He’s a person with feelings and he won’t be spun by you. 

I appreciate how Saeran can just... ignore her. I respect that. I trust that. I am so proud of him for ignoring and not giving into her whims. That takes a lot of real strength with real abusers. It’s not easy. I’m proud of that. Now here’s where the game tries to smack the fuck out of me and I don’t know what to think about how they are phrasing it. 

Okay, so, now she’s claiming that she’s split into fragments as well. I’m not going to comment on her mental health here. Your actions are not excused no matter what you may suffer from. Own up to what you do, learn, grow, change, but do not expect people to forgive you or make up with you. You are owed nothing at all when you do bad things. And, even with DID, the actions as the system as a whole come together. One action puts everyone at risk. So, even if she suffers from a form of DID/OSDD, they better not being try to say that she’s excused because “Devil Did It.” 

That’s not how this works. 

Suit Saeran admitted he fucked up. He took responsibility. Ray admits he made a lot of mistakes. He owns up to it. Everyone in the system takes responsibility for what happens. That’s just how it works. So, I don’t know what Rika is trying to do but... trying to make Saeran think they’re the same isn’t right. It’s just back to gaslighting. 

Trying to trick him. 

Even if I’m utterly wrong about Rika, this isn’t how you behave. In Rika Behind Story, they try to say Mika is at fault too, but Mika only helped Rika go through with it, and when Mika died, Rika kept doing it. She could have stopped and she didn’t. She made the drugs. Stole money to make her cult. ETC. Okay, she is in the wrong. She knows it. She admitted it. So, uh, Rika just stop talking you are giving me a headache. No matter how you spin it, ma’am, you’re wrong. 

Anyways, we jump to the Visual Novel and now Saeran and myself are on the run here. We left the hospital and headed out. We’re going to the apartment. He said that V owned it. You can even say that you [used to live in this area]. This uh, Reset Theory fear I had earlier is starting to really scare me a lot. I don’t know if it’s a jest or... 

I don’t know. 

The agency has made their attack. Saeyoung made a deal with Chairman Han in the background. You can call him and talk to him and Driver Kim after this chat, so do that if you can. Chairman Han tells us that Saeyoung cared for the RFA and wanted to help support Jumin after he sold the rights to C&R for his drinks. He gets nothing. It was meant for children in need. But, the Agency is using the offers sent to C&R and Jaehee to blow things up. 

Saeran knows that this is going to be bad. 

We both know it’s about to get really bad. It’s going to be hard to fight this sort of thing. Why are so many of these options self-aware? Is this just me? Am I the only one with this issue? 

Hm. Okay, so, Driver Kim gets to talk to us about Jumin. That man loves and cares for him and has been looking over him since he was a kid. He can’t believe V did what he did. He just can’t. He said V was cold before... he did photography, which makes a lot of sense to me. My God, I... it’s just a lot to take in. Don’t worry, Driver Kim is looking after Jumin and Jaehee.

I’m still iffy about Chairman Han. He has always... not been the best dad but I know in his own way he loves his son. Even if I don’t agree with the way that he shows his love. 

THOUGHT I WAS DONE BUT OUT GOING CALL

I GET TO FEED HIM WHILE WE’RE DRIVING AND TORMENT HIM? IS THIS HEAVEN? 

No but really... my self-aware paranoia...

[21:56]

So, this chat is a Rika and V chat. V sends us the passcode for the apartment to use. It seems strange enough... the title of the chat says that it’s supposed to be normal chit-chat, but it’s not. We know that. It’s just a deceptive factor used to go and trick you into thinking that things will be okay. Here’s the thing, this gives us a lot more insight into what’s happening with V and Rika. I knew what was going on to an extent. 

This only further confirms that Rika is far too gone. It’s all about Rika, and what Rika feels and nothing else. There’s a few hints and teased at the Rika Behind Story and what she did with Mika in the apartment. V gave her the building, the entire thing. He owns the whole thing. That’s why... ah, there is a bomb. Nobody will die because it’s just an empty building. 

Now, I can’t even imagine being the MC in the Casual/Deep Routes because you are literally alone in a high floor of an abandoned apartment building but you don’t know that. Oh, my God. She talks about how she make Mint Eye there and my God, the banter between Rika and V here...

God, there’s so much pettiness? 

At the end of the day, we know that Jihyun feels himself a martyr. He wants to burn down with the building. He’s prepared to do it. He is prepared to suffer and weep and that is it. He’s taken that. He’s accepted Rika’s “devil” only because he knows nobody else can suffer if he takes her away. I don’t like that, and he does know that he’s wrong here. 

But, we know... I guess, that he still cares. 

Even if he’s willing to play the part of something that left them all behind and turned against them to suffer forever. 

He says that Jumin and C&R will be doomed. It’s not good. They’re making more and more threats. They aren’t the ones that are doing this but they say that they are involved with the ones that did it. But, they are working with them by having that deal and honestly, that’s not okay. They both are ignoring it for their own reasons. I still think that Rika wants to have the boys killed for her own safety and to get away. I don’t know if that’s what will happen but she keeps saying it has to be Saeran alone, and Saeyoung alone.

I don’t trust that. 

And, I won’t. 

Either way, there’s a really short Visual Novel. We arrive there and it’s... quiet, and it’s not a good sign. I never thought that we’d be here again, but we are and I don’t know what to think. So, we’re going to try in the morning so... that’s a thought to be had.

FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST THE CALL AFTER THIS KILLED ME I CANNOT EVEN ENGLISH. HIGHLIGHTS CAUSE I CAN’T TALK RIGHT NOW ANYMORE.

[23:05]

[guacameowle]

V’s After End - Notes / Opinion

Below the cut will be my reactions, opinions, & spoilers for V’s After Ending episodes & endings. There’s a sprinkling of ~thirst~ & a lot of confusion/screaming throughout. I am afraid I haven’t gone back to proofread the episode reactions, so they’re likely a little messy & misspelled. 

Episode reactions are at the top, separated by episode & endings. Long-winded opinion/discussion about the route itself is at the bottom.

Journey below at your own risk! xx

Episode 1

80 hourglasses for EPISODE ONE? Oh this man is EXPENSIIIIVE. How many episodes is this going to be? 8 TOTAL?! Goodness.

JUDGE OR FORGIVE?! Who am I judging & forgiving? Jihyun? Rika? Cauuuuuse... uhhhh.... that might change my answers a bit (a lot)

So this means there is going to be multiple endings, yeah?!

Probably hasn’t even kissed you yet & is already packing up, leaving, & asking you to wait for him. I WAIT FOR NO MAN (Jk I waited for this man for over a year. Fuck.)

Oh shiiiit. He’s leaving me his house?! Ok, I’ll wait. Have fun storming the castle! *waves*

Excuse me but does the news screen on Jumin’s tv in his room show a picture of Rika & a caption underneath that says “More Catfood”???

The bottom of the news reel also says “Does Jumin Han is Gay?” Please, release us. Let it die.

JUUUMIIIIN. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. Let us comfort each other in these trying times. *waggles eyebrows*

JAEHEE COMING THROUGH WITH SOME GODDAMN SENSE & LOGIC. MY GIRL!

SOMEONE GET THIS MAN HIS WINE! Ohhh, nevermind he’s been drinking too much. Let’s have some water now, Juju.

This man is mourning & distraught. I am so sad for him. & now they’re making him dependent on alcohol to relieve his stress? Uh, I don’t like where this is going.

If anything happens to Jumin in this ending I swear...

WE HAVE CHATS TOO?! Damn what a complex update!

Wait, Zen WANTS to see MC & Jihyun being lovey dovey? Zen’s an imposter. He’s been replaced. That’s the real secret of this After End.

Oh wait, he said he was lying. Whew.

It is weird giving replies in chats & not seeing little colorful hearts flying everywhere…

Zen coming in HOT with the “Do you think you can forgive Rika?” question. Woooow.

You bet your ass I asked if anyone has heard anything from Ray. I’m going to cry.

NEW SEVEN CG! SO CUTE! VANDERWOOD IN THE RAFT! SO CUUUUUTE!

“He’s an adorable shy man.” Instantly chose this option. Vanderwood is cuuuute. Yes, Seven, please tell Vandy that I called him adorable & shy. Then tell me his reply. Then give him my number.

Yoosung’s got a package. I’M SURE HE DOES. ::eyes emoji::

OH SHIT, JUMIN DROPPING THE DNA BOMB. Wait, riddle me why the fuck Jumin had access to Seven’s DNA in the first place...

Poor Seven, I thought he had already sort of knew/assumed the hacker was his twin. But I guess he didn’t really know until now?

Looks like I’m on the “FORGIVE” path. Unlocked a Jumin’s VA free chat. Alriiiight.

Episode 2

Ray? Omg my eyes teared up. IS HE ALIVE?! WHAT KINDA SHORT TEASE OF A VOICE IS THAT?! OMFGGGGG. D:

Episode 2 & I’m already fucking crying. Great. Awesome. Lovely.

Honestly, I’m glad they’re having this discussion about V keeping all this information to himself about Saeran’s existence & use within Magenta because that’s always had me side-eyeing V HARD. I’m still of the opinion that he should have told at least Seven & Jumin about everything sooner. I get that he wanted to save Rika, but he was responsible for Saeran. I’m still heated.

SAEYOUNG HAS GONE ROGUE!

Mailman route when?! Kidding. His voice is nice though.

“Burn the letter” JESUS, MC. CALM IT DOWN.

RIKA WENT MISSING. OMFGGGG. THIS AFTER END! I JUST WANTED TO KISS JIHYUN. WHAT THE FRICK FRACK IS GOING ON?!

“We found remnants of DNA that matched with those of Luciel scattered about in the remains of Magenta. Since the explosion was of no ordinary size….” My heart hurts. My head hurts. My soul hurts.

This super sad music is just making me feel worse. I hate this. I’m crying again. I’m getting emotional whiplash.

Ray deserved better. Full stop.

Rika & Saeyoung left alone & Ray’s theme starts playing. How fucking dare this game fuck with me. I’m literally lying on the floor in a ball, playing this game & crying. What the hell.

For a second I saw Saeyoung making that fist in the CG & thought he was about to punch Rika.

Wow can y’all believe Jihyun basically Noped the Fuck Out of his own After End?

Hey Siri, turn off Rika’s voice.

Seven is dropping a lot of truth. ::quietly sips my tea::

God, Saeyoung’s prayer to Saeran is heartbreaking. Props to this VA though, damn he’s good.

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. I’m going to have fun going back & taking the judgement path.

Episode 3

Jumin “THERE WILL BE NO MORE SECRETS” Han fucking coming through! My boy! God, I love him so much.

First sun reference we’ve had. I thought there would be more by now.

Jihyun is out there falling in love with an MC in his head that he’s hardly spoken with since he left. That… can’t be healthy, my dude.

Jumin showing up in the goddamn woods in his suit is hot.

Jumin Han is so so good, y’all. This conversation between him & Saeyoung is absolutely amazing. He’s doing his best to comfort & protect at the same time. He asked about Saeran. He’s encouraging Saeyoung to live, helping him understand he’ll come out of this pain & find new reasons to live. He’s struggling too, but he’s doing so much to reach out & help Saeyoung.

The line about creating a new family, one without blood ties, broke me.

Uhhhh…. who was that? “We found him but that woman is with him.” Saeyoung & Rika?

THE STRESS GAVE ZEN A PIMPLE. Can relate.

Hell yeah I flirted with Zen. He is still prettier than starlight.

“Why don’t you come over? :)” MC. GIRL. …. I like the way you think.

Yoosung: “WELL I’M NOT GANDHI.” I fucking lost my shit.

“Should I drive V’s car?” Uhhhhh YES.

“But you’re gonna have to drive thru the night for hours. I’m kind of worried.” Bitch, I’m from Texas. I got this. 8 hours is a SHORT TRIP.

The disrespect. They aren’t going to let me drive. I don’t need a man to drive me.

DID VANDERWOOD JUST? OMG DID HE? DID HE JUST SHOOT SAEYOUNG?! BITCH, I LOVED YOU????? & YOU DID THIS????

Omg my heart. Why do they play with my emotions like this. Whew. WHEWWW.

VANDERWOOD CG!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Saeyoung is getting a lot of love tonight from his two new dads- Jumin & Vanderwood. Soft love & tough love. Shouting love at you with a gun in your face is new though.

YES! LET’S LOOK FOR A BODY! I STILL HAVE A SHRED OF HOPE RAY IS ALIVE. C’MON CHERITZ, PLEASE.

“Would you mind giving me some spotlight now?” Please let this be foreshadowing. I would eat UP a Vanderwood route.

Is another agency trying to kidnap Saeyoung? I am confusion? His dad?

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. Yoosung’s VA has a cute voice. I liiiiike.

Episode 4

My Yoosung is so sad. This boy has a lot of hate built up in him. First for V, now for Rika &&& V. Goodness.

She? Who the hell is Rika talking about? She who?!

Seems like everyone is concerned that MC will pity or listen to Rika too much. Hmm. Hmm hmmm…

Jumin is getting shit DONE.

2 years flashback. ????

Mika?! Who the fuck? Is this the “she” Rika was talking about earlier?

What he hell kinda narrative? Who is this woman? Supposedly some other girl from the orphanage Rika was a part of. She’s introduced & being used as the device that implanted this idea into Rika’s brain that she had “a devil” inside of her? She’s the reason Rika broke it off with V? Why? This feel like it cheapens everything. & why the hell is she calling Rika “Mina”? Is that Rika’s real name & I just forgot?!

IS RIKA LYING? WHY DID SHE WAIT THIS LONG TO TELL SAEYOUNG ABOUT THIS “STURDY ROOM”? COULD SAERAN REALLY BE ALIVE? Or is she trying to trick Saeyoung into leaving the cabin?!

Ok so the twins’ father has to be in on this somehow. He’s probably the one trying to get Saeyoung, I get that much. Omg... what if the reason they didn’t find proof of Saeran being dead is because his dad snatched up the remains?! Or kidnapped him alive? Or or or

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. This is hard. I want to be mean. 😈

Episode 5

I don’t know why I go into this game thinking I will just get to kiss the pretty boy. Or any boy.

Ok so more hints dropped their dad is probably involved.

“I am waiting for a letter.” GIRL, FUCK V’S LETTER. HE IS NOT HERE. SHIT IS GOING DOWN. LIVE IN THE MOMENT. IF HE WANTS TO BE OFF SMELLING FLOWERS, LET HIM. I AM TIRED.

I hope hope hope they find Saeran. Please please PLEASE.

I FORGOT. IF RAY IS ALIVE HE IS GOING THROUGH DETOX ALONE BURIED UNDER RUBBLE & ASH. I AM LIVID! WHAAAAT! SAVE. HIM.

Zen’s “WOOOOW” made me laugh.

These new CGs are a delight. I like seeing the mix of characters in them, too. Zen’s hand is huge. ::eyes emoji:: 

Maaan, Yoosung really flipped emotional spectrums so fast about Rika. The boy is certainly driven by his emotions.

These philosophical type chats always blow me away. This game really does get you thinking about social constructs. Fun & educating. Huh.

Getting these dirty boys to wash their hands before eating.

SAERAN MADE IT OUT?!

THAT IS SAERAN’S COUGH. OMG. HE IS ALIVE?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SAERAN!!!!

Still on “FORGIVE” path.

Episode 6

Jumin, this is a very roundabout way to tell Saeyoung you care about him & just want to look after him. You long-winded, man. I adore you.

SAEYOUNG HAS MORE VALUE THAN JUST WHAT HIS HACKING ABILITIES CAN BRING TO THE TABLE! LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY, SAEYOUNG. THEY CARE FOR YOU!

10 years?! I don’t know if that is a blessing or a curse. Lol. That’s a lengthy commitment for Saeyoung though.

“Why must we give up one thing once we get something else?” Yeah, Cheritz. Why must we give up one boy once we save the other boy?!?! Hmmmm???? Lmaoooo

Saeyoung in a suit & tie!!!!!!! Niiiiiiice.

How in the hell are they gonna wrap up this story?! It’s gonna be a cliffhanger isn’t it?! Omg...

Did these idiots just straight up leave Zen, Yoosung, & MC in a random cabin in the woods FOR DAYS & go back to civilization on their own? How long does it take to return Rika back to proper authorizes?! Goodness.

WHAT?!

WHAAAAT THE FUCK?!?!

V TOOK SAERAN?! WHEN? HOW? WHAT? 

MY JAW JUST POPPED IT DROPPED SO HARD. WHAT THE SHIIIIIT?!?!

Uhhhh lmao uhm why are they dressed like Jedi? Jihyun is giving Obi Wan vibes right now. I’m cackling, when I shouldn’t be. This is supposed to be a serious moment, goddamnit.

I know Jihyun probably thinks he’s doing right by taking care of Saeran but AGAIN WITH THIS DOING IT ON HIS OWN BUSINESS?! Saeyoung is devastated his brother & all the while Jihyun had actually swooped him away for some self-medicated detox tour? Just more & more secrets. I’m tired.

“Let’s wait until detox is done & you don’t wanna murder your brother. So I booked a flight for next week.” A WEEK? HA! YEAH RIGHT! BEST CANCEL THAT.

Oh, he just keeps booking & cancelling flights. Lmao. Ok. I am less judgmental now.

If Saeyoung & Saeran don’t get a reunion.... I will die inside.

Unlocked the “FORGIVE” ending.

Shit that costs 80hg too? I have nearly depleted what I had saved up!

BUT HOLY SHIT Y’ALL. SAERAN IS ALIVE! 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

“FORGIVE” Ending

This song is hauntingly beautiful.

Who is this speaking?

Is Rika high right now wtf?!

God is a woman.

I am so over all this sun talk. Let. It. Go.

Weren’t security guards left with them at the cabin?! Did Rika just WALK out?!

Of course she’s going to run away & get away with everything. Mhmm ok.

NOW THEY ARE COMING FOR JUMIN’S COMPANY?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD END WTF. I’LL FIGHT. DON’T COME FOR C&R. I’LL THROW DOWN. JUMIN BETTER NOT LOSE EVERYTHING.

So Rika is gone & for no reason Zen & Yoosung & MC are going to stay in the cabin alone? (& not have a threesome?!?!?!)

Jumin is literally putting his own company on the line to protect Saeyoung. This man is amazing. “We’ll rebuild.” My nipples are hard. Jumin has fully aroused me. I would have taken him right on a conference table.  

Welcome to Rika’s Ted Talk

Well.... I am pleased she stepped up & laid the truth all out there. Took us years to get here, lads, but we did it!

Twin cribs. Hmmm.

2 YEARS LATER?! SO THIS CONNECTS TO THE GOOD END OF JIHYUN’S ROUTE?!

2 years, huh... I would have shacked up with Jumin looooong before now. That man is a whole snack. Selfless, sweet, handsome, has a cat. I’m thirsty.

Jumin’s become an alcoholic?! Great. /s I guess this is meant to show just how drastic things are? That Jumin, our token rational & logical man, is resorting to a dangerous lifestyle as a means of coping? I’m heartbroken.

“Have I kept you waiting for too long.” Yes.

His gift better be bringing Saeran on stage because if he unveils a white puzzle I will lose my fucking mind. It is nearly 4am. I haven’t slept. I just want a smooch.

Omg I think it’s happening.

It’s gonna happen.

OMGGGGG

Please let there be a CG of this

IT HAPPENED!!!!! THEY REUNITED!!!! OMG!!!!!

LONGEST HELL YEAH BOOOOY OF MY LIFE

Pink suit pink suit pink suit PINK SUIT!!!! 💗

Ohhhh... Saeran has burns all over his face & his hand. Is his whole left side burned? My poor boy.

5 years later?!? (Mmmm think about mid30s Jumin Han though 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻)

*gasp* A BABY!

Holy shit, not a baby. A full child.

Awwww Saeyoung & Saeran live together!!

YEEESSSS. GET THIS LITTLE GIRL INTO STEM!!!! 

“When is Uncle Jumin gonna marry.” I marry him every few weeks, little girl. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 when I reread his endings.

“Daddy thinks he will never get married.” I am now sad. I want to marry Jumin.

Jaehee got a promotion. Good for her. It’s what she deserves.

Aw Lucy is cute. Surprised they didn’t give her Jihyun’s hair color.

Their house has a lot of windows. 👀👀👀 Floor to ceiling windows. 👀👀👀 Good for fucking against. 👀👀👀👀

THIS CHILD IS ALREADY LEARNING TO KEEP SECRETS. NOOOOO. BREAK THIS CHAIN!

“Daddy is good with secrets, too.” TRUST ME, LITTLE GIRL. WE KNOW. WE KNOOOW. Y’all the noise I made when I read this line. Scoff wheezing?! Full exasperation.

“But you tell everything to Mommy!” About fucking time, honestly. How long did it take for him to break his secrets habit?

Ohhhhh she’s adopted! That’s why she doesn’t have his hair color. Curious why they didn’t go with the biological child path? I certainly don’t mind adoption. It definitely feels like a sort of tribute to Rika.

Girl already has a crush on Zen. Ha! Giiiirl, same. Jihyun’s reaction was funny.

I wanna ride Zen’s motorcycle & his diiiiiiiii

7 years later & Yoosung is still addicted to LOLOL. Keep it up, Yoosung. Live your best gaming life.

Now she’s plotting murder against her own dad. Goodness. & Yoosung just TOLD her this entire dark plot of the game. Lmaooooo

What happened to Vanderwood? Did he accept working at C&R? How is he? Is he eating? Did he take a vacation away from Saeyoung? I need to know.

Jihyun’s speech to his wife is sweet. Now kiss!

Omg I can’t believe I didn’t get to smooch him at all. What.

What.

100 HOURGLASSES TO RESET?!?! HIGHWAY ROBBERY! I need to save up all over again for when (if) they drop a Saeran After End

“JUDGE” Ending

No, going back to the place you hate most isn’t a sufficient form of punishment for the crimes you’ve committed. You can’t just punish yourself & call it justice. Thank u, next.

Why the fuck is Rika called Serena now?! How many names does she have?! 

Is Rika really free & just doing her own apology tour?! No trial or hospital involved? I’m????

Yoosung’s dialogue makes it seem like he still wants Rika around. Flip flop. 

I do enjoy that Yoosung is a very emotional character, even if sometimes in the stories I don’t agree with him. He’s always very open & honest with how he feels, even if taken to extremes.

Jaehee’s discussion with Rika was very rational. As expected.

Damn Zen gave her the boot double quick.

Jumin: “You are a minus given a breathing body.” Ohhhhhhh my god. 😮😮😮 & he told her he wants her sent to a lab to have data collected from her. Jumin is ANGRY.

So this discussion with Saeran is meant to be in her own head, yeah?

Ok her discussion with Saeyoung felt real -ish again but then her discussion with Jihyun sounded bizarre & far-fetched again. So has she just been inside her own head this entire time?

What the fuck... is going on.

Wow, let’s toss in some sexual assault via clergymen to spice things up. Alright. /s What the hell is this?

This ending is fucking bonkers

Omg Zen’s robotic reply made me lose my shit. First time I’ve laughed because of this ending.

Poor Vanderwood. He sounded excited to have a line.

Sooo... the ending has just been a mock of how a Rika route would have gone if she had one?

Wait this was all just MC’s dream?! Rika’s dream?

& now Rika is in a coma?!? What? What???!! I’m... tired.

You know what, at least Saeyoung & Saeran are back together. Silver lining. The only silver lining to this madness.

Yoosung got a whole new look again. I’ll admit, for a hot second I thought he had become a cult leader & I was worried.

Sooo... the RFA became some sort of support group for Rika’s victims?????

Jumin doesn’t want to be a part of the meetings because he doesn’t particularly subscribe to their efficiency. Zen just doesn’t want to be involved because he doesn’t want the reminder. Jihyun basically just didn’t show up. So is this to mean the RFA has fallen apart entirely? Rename the group, change your ideals, be more open with each other, & formulate new ways to create charity events/fundraisers. Find a new purpose together! PULL. YOURSELVES. TOGETHER.

Ugh. Ugggghhhhhhh.

So, I’ve sat on this for a little under 24 hours. I let it sink in, in hopes that I could make better sense of it. But honestly, I don’t feel like I have. I feel perhaps this after end should have been listed in a separate section like the secret endings. These episodes certainly read more like a secret ending.

Rather than call this “V’s After End” I think it would make more sense to have called this “V’s Route After End” (or even “Rika’s After End”). This ending felt more like a means of giving closure to the route itself, rather than an acknowledgement of Jihyun’s relationship with MC. We were shown Saeran was alive, we were given Saeyoung & Saeran reunited with one another finally, we got answers as to what happened with Rika & how she ended up in Alaska, we found out why Jihyun was really away for two years, we had Saeyoung & Saeran stepping out from the hunting shadow of their father. Questions were answered, resolutions of sorts were given.

When I think of “after end” I’ll admit, I assumed we would be given a short snippet of story revolving primarily around Jihyun & MC post-good end, like we had for the other characters; not this dramatic saga between the end of the route & before Jihyun returns two years later. 

Jihyun’s route revolved around him understanding his relationship with Rika & then distancing himself from that & trying to find himself. His route felt like it had more Jihyun x Rika content than it did Jihyun x MC content. This After End there was hardly any Jihyun x MC content as he was gone essentially the entire time. He really Noped Out of his own After End; I’m still a bit shocked I paid so many hourglasses for V content.... only to not be given V content. I admit, I feel foolish & cheated, somehow. I went in hoping for more content about a character I was interested in, only to be given this dramatic story revolving around a character I don’t particularly care for.

I’m disappointed that there is a Forgive or Judge aspect to this ending. 

In the Forgive path/end, the blame of Rika’s crimes & actions is pinned on Rika’s mental illness, choice individuals swaying her into taking particular actions ( “embrace your devil” ), and various circumstances she’s had to endure & live through. By introducing this new character (Mika?), are we meant to blame her instead of Rika? Is she a scapegoat since the idea was originally hers & not Rika’s, even though Rika was the one that enacted everything? On top of this, Yoosung is shown to be reading a psychology book & also comes to the conclusion that what Rika has done isn’t really her fault, but the fault of her circumstances. All of this feels like we were being ushered into forgiving Rika and feeling guilty if we don’t. Provided you do choose to forgive Rika, she finds her own inner happiness, becomes “her own sun”, and goes off to live her life in Alaska; no consequences aside from distance (physical & emotionally) from her once friends/family & developing a negative public appeal. This forgive path directly ties in with Jihyun’s good end, implying it’s the better (intended?) ending. That doesn’t sit well with me. MC shouldn’t have to forgive their captor & tormentor in order to achieve their own “good” end. 

In the Judge path/end, the other characters often show hesitancy when MC expresses she will never be able to forgive Rika. There are philosophical chats about what is actually good vs bad, what is just, & who is to decide these sort of standards. We are led to question if holding on to a grudge hurts ourselves or the other party more. And in the end, when we choose to judge Rika, the RFA falls apart; everyone is miserable. Again, the reader is left feeling as if their judgement was too harsh, too cruel, or uncalled for as the consequences of it have seeped out & negatively touched other people. Rika falls into a coma – doesn’t go off to live her life in Alaska, doesn’t find her own inner peace – & this is all because she was blamed or shunned for her actions, as opposed to being forgiven. Why does everyone’s happiness depend on MC forgiving her captor?  It all left a sour taste in my mouth.

I understand the discussion of what is truly good vs bad or what is meant to be just & unjust can go fairly deep, but I feel that discussion applies only to circumstances that are in a grey area. What Rika did (attempted murder, abuse, emotional & physical manipulation, drugging/brainwashing) is clear cut wrong. There is no question that these are bad decisions. It should not be up for debate whether these sorts of actions are “good or bad.” While I do not deny that Rika’s past (whatever it fully may be as I have not read her backstory DLC) has attributed to her behaviors, it does not excuse them. I believe that mental illness does not excuse someone’s actions.

These are two very extreme endings - either Rika gets off free from her actions or she becomes comatose & succumbs to a darkness. Why have these drastic differences when you can merge the two; have Rika go through treatment to help her, serve a punishment that is fitting of her crimes, help her grow & understand, then have forgiveness come later? There were several options within gameplay along the lines of “I hope one day I can forgive her” & “I hope she finds her peace.” I see nothing wrong with not having MC forgive Rika but still wish for progress to be made.

Everyone was happier in the end where you forgave Rika, though. And isn’t that what everyone wanted in the end?

Overall, I didn’t mind Yoosung & Zen portraying the voices that provide the philosophical discussions in the routes and this After End. In fact, I enjoyed the chats with them as I tend to find philosophical discussions thought provoking, even if I do not always agree with what these characters were expressing. While MM is marketed as a visual novel romance, it has never shied away from delving into deeper topics & oftentimes tries to provide a lesson. Perhaps this time, the lesson they hoped to get across, didn’t hit the mark with me.

Yoosung’s emotions were very extreme in this After End. I have come to expect Yoosung being very up front, unapologetic, & pushy with his feelings. In a game where so many characters are often keeping secrets, it’s almost refreshing to have a character that is so viscerally open. Personally, I found it interesting that Yoosung’s feeling towards Rika had flipped so drastically. It was almost as if he was now trying to overcompensate for his previous idolization of her. 

I’m still of the opinion that the world does not deserve Jumin Han. Through his own pain & suffering, through dealing with the disappearance of his dearest friend, through having to come to terms with the fact that a woman he once considered a close friend turned out to be someone so villainous, he has stepped up & even at one point risked his own company, reputation, & livelihood to protect someone he now considered family. He used his time & resources to help as much as he could. He sat & genuinely listened to Saeyoung & calmly gave input despite Saeyoung verbally lashing out at him. I’ll admit I hated that Jumin seemingly became an alcoholic, or at least heavily dependent on wine, during the stretch of time these After Ends covered. He was suffering, but because he needed to keep his shit together, he used liquor as his means of turning off his brain so he wouldn’t think too heavily about what was happening, otherwise he’d spiral. You can bet your ass that every time there was an option to choose “How is Jumin doing?” I took it, because this man needs someone to look out for him while he’s busy looking after everyone else. I love him. He remains my favorite. 

I am thrilled Saeran is alive. I am ecstatic Saeyoung & Saeran got the reunion I had been hoping for (& in both endings!). The doctor part of me really wishes his treatment & recovery occurred in a hospital, instead of some nature tour with Jihyun while wearing Jedi robes, but beggars can’t be choosers in fiction, I suppose. I am glad Saeran is safe, recovering, had the time to heal his relationship with Jihyun, & is living with Saeyoung now. It’s what I wanted for him.

On one hand, I can see why Jihyun kept Saeran being alive a secret (Saeran wasn’t ready to see Saeyoung yet, he was detoxing, he needed more recovery time, he needed the peace away from everything, if Saeyoung knew he would have gone after them immediately rather than wait for some time to pass) but on the other hand, I had had enough of the secrets. I am glad though that the story allowed for Saeyoung to have some hope that Saeran was alive. If the narrative had left no suggestion of hope & Saeyoung had fallen into a depression of sorts, then I feel when Saeran was finally revealed he [Saeyoung] may have not handled it as well. But Saeyoung was given a chance to hope, to grow, to finally relax/settle where he was, & was allowed time himself to recover from everything that happened, which I think helped in how he received Saeran’s reappearance.

Definitive proof that Vanderwood has grown to care about Saeyoung as a person?! Sign me the fuck up. That was amazing. I greatly enjoy Vanderwood.

With Saeyoung, I did enjoy seeing his range of emotion & reactions to this entire ordeal. He was desvasted, broken, distraught, angry. My heart went out to him & I felt his pain. His monologues were great. His reactions felt real. It was a bit jarring to see how readily he was contemplating suicide & how quickly he cast that aside as soon as some other bit of info to cling to came along. I understand, though, that this story took place in a short amount of time & the creators were trying to portray his progression in the time they had. I am tickled that he was offered a 10 year contract with C&R & that he readily accepted. I have enjoyed seeing him begin to accept that he can plant roots somewhere, open up to those around him, & not fear that he’ll one day have to leave.

I was originally miffed that Jihyun went off for two years on his own, seemingly to get over Rika, making MC wait around, before he could commit himself to MC. Knowing now that those two years were actually spent helping to rehabilitate Saeran in seclusion, I am assuaged. A bit.

I am, however, left feeling as though maybe MC isn’t meant to be with Jihyun. I’ve certainly felt as if there is more push to have Jihyun x Rika remain together as Cheritz still doesn’t give, what I would consider, adequate bonding & development between Jihyun x MC (not that 11 days of story in any of the routes could be described as adequate bonding time, lolol). Majority of Jihyun’s scenes (in his route) are about him reminiscing about his past with Rika, rather than discussions that may cultivation a budding relationship with MC. I like Jihyun, but it feels likes it’s been made intentionally hard to romance him. Maybe it was naive of me to hope we would get cute scenes of Jihyun & MC getting to know one another more, or be shown ways Jihyun made it up to MC for being gone for so long, or even a mini date story, or actually seeing the proposal happen, or even a kiss? But I did hope for all of that, so I can’t pretend I’m not sad we didn’t getting to see it. The romance between Jihyun & MC feels brushed aside, like an afterthought, & I was hoping that this After End would finally put it at the forefront of the story told.

While I don’t like how the situation with Rika was handled in either route, & while this After End was not at all what I was expecting (I just wanted to kiss Jihyun, omg), it wasn’t a total loss for me since the twins are reunited & happy, which I think may have been my biggest wish. The voice acting as phenomenal & I can tell how much time & effort Cheritz put into creating this mammoth, complex & thought-provoking story. I’ll be honest & admit that I am upset I spent so many hourglasses for content that seemed packaged as Jihyun content but turned out to be more about Rika, but nothing can be done about that now. 

If I had to pick an ending I preferred, it would definitely be the Forgive End, as there is more happiness for everyone I care about when it concludes. It was nice seeing Jihyun & MC have their little family, even if it was a very brief interaction. Their adoption of a little girl feels like a nod to Rika, of sorts. Perhaps that isn’t what Cheritz intended, & maybe there is no hidden meaning to why they adopted at all, but I am happy to see Jihyun & MC having brought a child into their home to create a family with.

The CGs are beautiful. Is there even a way to unlock the title page Jihyun proposal CG? I didn’t get it in my play-through at all. 

I didn’t hate this After End, but I definitely didn’t love it either. I guess it kind of falls in a strange floaty grey middle area for me, somewhat flat. Hopefully many of y’all enjoyed it! I look forward to seeing what they may give us for Saeran’s After End. I have a feeling that may be a wild story too.

[btsqualityy]

Scripted: Part 6

Namjoon x Reader; Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, President!Namjoon, Head of Security!Jimin

Warnings: (Reluctant) open relationship, mentions of cheating

“I haven’t seen him in days Momo,” you huffed as the two of you walked through the banquet hall that the benefit for the children’s hospital was going to be held in. 

“Like at all?” Momo wondered and you shook your head. 

“I go to bed alone and I wake up alone. I call down to his office and Taehyung makes up some bullshit excuse about how Namjoon’s too busy to talk.”

“Maybe he is actually busy though Y/N-ah,” Momo chuckled. “He is President, remember?”

“You know that Taehyung can’t lie to save his life though,” you pointed out. “So I can tell that Namjoon’s making him cover for him.”

“Oh yeah, you’re right,” she nodded. “But still, you can’t really be surprised. I mean, you did tell the man that you didn’t want to have his babies.”

“He goaded me!” You whined loudly, making Momo chuckle at you.

“He’s your husband.”

“Legally,” you added. Momo opened her mouth to respond but Jimin walked up to the two of you then, a large grin spread onto his face.

“This place is amazing,” Jimin beamed with approval. “I think it’s a great place to have the benefit.”

“I’m happy that you like it,” you smiled softly before looking at Momo. “Can you call the owners and book this place for June 1st?”

“You think a little more than two months is enough time for us to plan this whole thing?” Momo questioned as she pulled her planner out of her bag, opening it up and writing a few things down inside. 

“It should be more than enough since there’s three of us behind this thing,” you said as you motioned to yourself, Momo and Jimin. “Plus, with my other commitments as First Lady, I’ll need the extra time and I wanna make sure that we do this right.”

“The kids deserve it,” Jimin added and you nodded. 

“Alright but speaking of Jimin’s help,” Momo smirked as she looked up at Jimin and you knew exactly what she was going to ask him. “Can we ask you something, to get a male’s perspective?”

“Sure,” Jimin shrugged.

“If you were married to a woman and she told you that she didn’t want to have your children, would you be upset?” Momo asked.

“I’d be pissed,” Jimin replied with no hesitation.

“Why?” you inquired.

“Well, as a man, there’s a lot of pride involved with being able to have children,” Jimin explained. “Children are the ones who carry on our legacies when we’re gone and for a lot of men, that carries a lot of weight.”

“But what if the marriage isn’t the best situation to bring a child into?” You challenged.

“Well, then I guess I would wonder why someone is even still in that marriage in the first place,” Jimin replied and Momo whistled lightly. 

“There’s some honesty for your ass,” Momo muttered.

“I’m sorry, did I miss something?” Jimin questioned.

“We were talking about Y/N-ah and Namjoon,” Momo answered and Jimin’s eyes widened.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Y/N,” Jimin apologized but you just smiled and shrugged.

“It’s ok, you didn’t know.”

“Still, it wasn’t my intention to seem judgmental,” he said.

“You were being honest, not judgmental,” you chuckled. “So I don’t mind.”

“You sure?”

“Hey, I’m best friends with this one, aren’t I?” You laughed as you pointed at Momo. “I’ve definitely been told worse.”

“I resent that,” Momo deadpanned without looking up from her planner. 

“Don’t you have lunch plans with Jungkook today Mo?” You checked and Momo nodded without looking up.

“Not until 12:30,” she said.

“Mo?”

“Hm?”

“It’s 12:45.”

“Shit, he’s gonna kill me for not calling!” Momo gasped as she lifted her arm and checked the wristwatch on her hand. She hastily stuffed her planner back into her bag before she started to speed walk away from you and Jimin. “I’ll call you later!”

“Bye!” You laughed and you waved at her as you and Jimin watched her run out of the banquet hall. 

“Is she always that scatter brained?” Jimin wondered with a chuckle.

“Yeah, but she’s also a genius so I let it slide,” you giggled as you and Jimin began to slowly walk around the grand ballroom. “She has a degree in theoretical physics, you know.”

“Really?” Jimin murmured in awe. “No offense, but why does she work for you?”

“As a woman in the field, she found it difficult to break down barriers and be taken as seriously as her male colleagues were so she quit her job a few weeks before Namjoon won the election and I offered to let her come work for me,” you explained. 

“That was nice of you,” Jimin smiled but you just shrugged.

“I kind of owed her,” you laughed. “I never would’ve passed the Bar exam if it weren’t for her and Namjoon helping me study.”

“You practice law,” Jimin said and you smiled.

“Used to,” you corrected him. “I had my own practice but I gave it up once Namjoon decided that he was going to run for President.”

“Why?”

“As progressive as Namjoon is, he never would’ve won the election if he had a wife that worked as a lawyer,” you explained. “It would’ve been too much for the more conservative voters.”

“That doesn’t seem very fair to you,” Jimin frowned. 

“It’s not,” you agreed. “Especially given how hard I worked to get through college and then law school and then the Bar exam but I did it because I believed in Namjoon and I didn’t want to be the reason that he lost the election, you know?”

“No, I get it,” Jimin said. “It just...seems like kind of a steep price to pay.”

“When you pay a lot of steep prices for someone, you get used to it,” you sighed. Jimin wanted to ask you what you meant by that, but he decided that he had done enough prying into your life for one day.

“Do you wanna go grab some lunch?” He asked instead and you nodded, suddenly aware of how hungry you were.

“Absolutely. Do you have any suggestions?” You wondered as the two of you started to walk towards the exit of the banquet hall. 

“I think I have a place that we could go,” Jimin smiled.

.............................

“Jimin hyung!” Jihyun exclaimed as he walked around the large counter that sat in the ramen restaurant and over to where you and Jimin were standing, throwing his arms around Jimin.

“Hi Jihyunie,” Jimin chuckled, hugging him back. Jihyun then pulled away from the hug and looked over to his left, his eyes widening considerably when he saw you. 

“Y-you’re the F-First Lady,” Jihyun stammered and you chuckled lightly as you nodded your head.

“I never get used to this reaction,” you joked as you looked over at Jimin and he just laughed before shaking his head.

“Excuse him,” Jimin laughed. “Y/N, this is my younger brother Jihyun. Jihyun, this is,-”

“First Lady Kim,” Jihyun rushed out, bowing to you respectfully. “It’s an honor to meet you.”

“I appreciate it but you don’t have to do that,” you told him as you bowed to him as well.

“A-are you sure?” Jihyun checked and you nodded with a smile.

“Jimin here told me that you have the best ramen in Seoul and I wanted to come try it out for myself,” you said and Jihyun nodded enthusiastically.

“Of course! Just have a seat and I’ll be right with you,” Jihyun stated before rushing back behind the counter and disappearing into the kitchen.

“Is he gonna be alright?” You asked Jimin as he led you over to a booth that sat in one of the corners of the restaurant, each of you taking a seat across from each other. 

“He’s probably back there freaking out,” Jimin replied honestly. “He couldn’t believe me when I said that I was taking this job working for you and Mr. Kim.”

“Well, it’s a good thing that this place is mostly empty then,” you murmured as you looked around the restaurant. 

“I figured that it would be, which is part of the reason that I brought you here,” Jimin replied. Just then, you heard a shrill voice and fast footsteps running in your direction.

“Uncle Jimin!” You looked up and saw a small girl, who looked like she wasn’t any older than 4, running over to your booth. Jimin slid out of the booth and kneeled down on the ground, opening his arms just in time for the little girl to crash into his chest.

“Hi Hana Banana,” Jimin giggled as he wrapped his arms around her and swung her from side to side. 

“I missed you,” Hana pouted as she pulled back and set her little hands on Jimin’s cheeks.

“I know, I missed you too. I’m sorry that I missed your call the other day,” Jimin apologized. “I was working.”

“You’re always working,” Hana huffed and you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you from how adorable she looked. An older woman, who looked to be about the same age as Jihyun, suddenly ran out from behind the counter.

“I’m so sorry Jimin,” the woman apologized as she walked over to where Jimin and Hana were hugging. “She heard your name and lost it.”

“It’s fine,” Jimin assured her as he stood up straight, hoisting Hana up and setting her on his hip. “Eun Jung, this is First Lady Kim. First Lady Kim, this is my sister-in-law, Park Eun Jung.”

“It is such a pleasure to meet you,” Eun Jung smiled as she bowed and you quickly slid out of the booth in order to bow to her as well.

“Likewise,” you nodded as you looked over at Hana, who was whispering into Jimin’s ear. “You have a gorgeous daughter.”

“Thank you,” Eun Jung grinned as she reached over and fixed the end of Hana’s dress. “She’s amazing when she actually listens to me.”

“She’s just like Jihyun was a kid, adventurous and with a mind of her own,” Jimin teased as he reached down and tickled Hana’s stomach, making her squeal and plead for him to stop. Jihyun walked out from the kitchen then, two menus in his hands as he walked over to where all of you were talking. 

“Told the whole family that we were here, huh?” Jimin chuckled and Jihyun blushed lightly.

“I was panicking, ok?” He admitted with a huff as he set the menus down on the table. “Please, please, have a seat and take all the time you need.”

“Thank you,” you nodded at him before sitting back down in the booth and picking up one of the menus. 

“Hana, come with me so that your uncle and First Lady Kim can enjoy their lunch,” Eun Jung said, holding her hands out for Hana to fall into but Hana just shook her head and folded herself in towards Jimin.

“It’s alright Eun Jung, I’ll keep her with me,” Jimin told her before looking over at you. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Absolutely not,” you smiled and Jimin did the same before sitting down.

“Alright,” Eun Jung shrugged. “Jimin, I already know what your order is but are you ready to order ma’am?”

“Yes, I actually I am,” you replied. “Can I please have the kitakata style ramen?”

“Absolutely,” Eun Jung nodded, pulling out a small notepad and a pen from the apron that she had on, writing it down. 

“What kind of ramen do you want, Hana Banana?” Jimin asked his niece.

“Shio please Mommy,” Hana requested happily and Eun Jung chuckled before nodding.

“I’ll have them out to you guys soon,” she promised before walking away to go back into the kitchen. You closed the menu and placed it back onto the table, and you happened to notice that Hana was staring at you.

“You look like you want to ask me something,” you said as you looked down at her and she nodded slowly. “Go ahead, you can.”

“Are you the lady who takes my uncle Jimin away?” Hana wondered and you giggled as Jimin began to stammer nervously.

“She does not take me away Hana,” he told her.

“But I wanted you to take me to the movies and you said you couldn’t because you had to work,” Hana shot back.

“She has a point Jimin,” you shrugged with a smile. “But yes, your uncle Jimin works for me and for my husband too.”

“You’re married to the President?” Hana questioned.

“Yes, I am.”

“He looks mean,” Hana frowned. “He’s always frowning on the TV.”

“That’s only because he has to try very hard to be serious when he’s on TV,” you told her.

“Uncle Jimin said that he has to be serious at his job too,” Hana nodded thoughtfully before looking up at her uncle. “Is it hard for you?”

“Sometimes,” Jimin answered. “But I love my job so it’s not too hard.”

“Uncle Jiminie loves it more than me?” Hana asked fearfully and you watched with a smile as Jimin firmly shook his head and hugged Hana to his chest.

“There’s no one that I love more than you, Hana Banana,” he promised, which made the smile come back onto Hana’s face. Just then, Eun Jung came back out towards your booth, carrying a tray that held three bowls of ramen on top.

“Ramen!” Hana cried out and Eun Jung chuckled at her daughter as she set each bowl of ramen onto the table.

“That was quick,” you smiled, the smell of your own ramen making your mouth water.

“I’ve never seen my husband move this fast,” Eun Jung huffed with a chuckle. “Maybe you should come visit more often so that he’d get more done around here.”

“Thanks Eun Jung,” Jimin said.

“No problem,” Eun Jung nodded. “Enjoy, you guys.”

.............................

“Wait, are you serious?” You gasped and Jimin nodded as he took a spoonful of the last of his ramen. “You really joined the Navy right after high school?”

“How do you think I was able to move through the ranks and become Chief of Naval Operations by the age of 25?” Jimin chuckled. 

“I just figured that you must’ve been good at your job,” you shrugged.

“Well, I’m flattered,” Jimin grinned and you lowered your head to hide the heat that had risen to your cheeks. “But yeah, I shipped off to basic training two weeks after I graduated.”

“Wow,” you breathed. “What made you decide to do that?”

“I wasn’t really thinking about college because there was nothing that I found interesting enough to want to major in,” Jimin explained. “And since I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, I figured that the Navy could be a good starting point. Admittedly, I didn’t think that I’d be so good at it but I was and I just decided to run with it.”

“You ran right to the top too,” you joked, making Jimin laugh. 

“Yeah, but it wasn’t without it’s sacrifices. I barely saw my family or friends, and I didn’t even get to meet this one,” he paused to gesture to Hana, who was sitting next to him coloring. “Until she was almost a year old. It’s one of the main reasons why I took this job being head of security for you and Mr. Kim, so that I’d have a little bit more flexibility with my schedule.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, is that why you and your fiancee ended things?” You wondered and Jimin nodded.

“It’s more like why she ended things,” Jimin chuckled bitterly. “We were together for four years and one day, she just suddenly decided that she couldn’t handle the whole lifestyle anymore. I don’t blame her though. I mean, who wants to be married to a man who’s always gone and never has time for them?”

“I’m sorry Jimin,” you said softly.

“No, it’s ok,” he assured you. “It’s like you said, people change.” You opened your mouth to reply but just then, both Jihyun and Eun Jung walked over to your booth.

“How was your meal, First Lady Kim?” Jihyun wondered and you looked up at him with a smile. 

“It was amazing,” you nodded. “Jimin was right when he said that you had the best ramen in Seoul.”

“Thank you so much,” Jihyun replied as he bowed towards you.

“Oh shoot, it’s almost 2:30,” Jimin huffed as he looked down at the watch on his wrist before looking across the table at you. “Are you ready to head back to the Blue House?”

“Yes, I’m ready,” you nodded. You and Jimin both slid out of the booth then, standing up while Hana clung onto her uncle’s leg.

“I have to go back to work Hana Banana,” Jimin laughed as he looked down at her and she shook her head forcefully with a pout on her lips.

“Want you to stay here with me,” Hana huffed and Jimin bent down and picked her up, setting her on his hip.

“I’ll see you soon, ok?” He promised her and Hana nodded her head reluctantly. Jimin pressed a few kisses to her cheek before passing her off to Eun Jung, who was holding her hands out.

“Thank you so much for having me,” you said as you bowed to Jihyun and Eun Jung.

“No, thank you,” Eun Jung smiled.

“It was nice meeting you Hana,” you smiled and she returned a tiny smile to you as well.

“Bye. Tell your husband that he should smile more,” Hana told you and you couldn’t help but to laugh.

“I’ll make sure I will,” you assured her. After a few more goodbyes, you and Jimin walked out of the ramen shop and out to the waiting limousine. After opening the door for you and watching as you slid inside, Jimin slid in behind you and the driver swiftly pulled off towards the Blue House. 

.............................

“Thank you for taking me for lunch today,” you said to Jimin as he escorted you up the front steps of the Blue House.

“No problem. You kind of gave me the perfect excuse to go see them,” Jimin admitted sheepishly.

“I don’t mind,” you shrugged, finally making it to the front door. “It was nice.”

“So, we’re still on to do some more planning for the benefit in a few days?” Jimin checked and you nodded.

“Yeah, but it’ll just be you and I. Momo has a family thing,” you told him.

“Ah. Well, I’ll see you then. Have a nice rest of your day Y/N.”

“You too, Jimin,” you replied and after he flashed one more smile at you, he turned around and jogged back down the steps. You then turned back towards the door and pushed it open, stepping inside and shutting the door behind you.

After taking off your heels, you paced down the hallway to your and Namjoon’s private quarters and walked into your shared bedroom. However, your heart almost jumped through your throat at the sight of Namjoon sitting at the desk in your bedroom.

“God, you scared me!” You gasped, placing your hand on your chest over your heart in order to help calm it down. “I thought you’d still be in your office right now.” All Namjoon did was look at you and shrug, so you walked further into the room and stood in front of his desk.

“How was your day?” You asked and Namjoon just shrugged once again. “Alright. Is there any special reason why you’re working here and not in your office?” You wondered and Namjoon just looked at you with a blank stare on his face and suddenly, you understood why he was acting like that.

“Are you serious?” You laughed in disbelief. “Are you giving me the silent treatment?”

“If I were giving you the silent treatment, don’t you think I’d be in my office where it would be more effective?” Namjoon questioned. 

“Well, why weren’t you saying anything?”

“Because what do we have to talk about Y/N-ah?” Namjoon asked. “You made it very clear how you felt about me the other day.”

“Namjoon, I know this isn’t about the baby conversation,” you huffed and when he didn’t say anything, that gave you the answer that you were looking for. “Wow, you’re unbelievable.”

“Look Y/N-ah, I don’t want to argue with you,” Namjoon said as he abruptly stood up, grabbing his suit jacket from the back of his chair and shrugging it onto his shoulders. “I’m going out and I don’t think I’ll be back until late.”

“Where are you headed, to go fuck someone else?” You spit and Namjoon paused from buttoning up his jacket to look at you. 

“So what if I am?” He shrugged after a few seconds of silence. “You made it very clear how you feel about our marriage so why should’t I take advantage of the stipulations of the arrangement?”

“So just because I won’t have your baby, that means that you no longer respect me or care about me?”

“I’ll always care about you Y/N-ah,” he told you as he stepped around the desk and stood in front of you. “But respect is a two-way street, and you stopped respecting me a long time ago.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” You questioned and you swore that you could see something flash across Namjoon’s eyes, although you couldn’t decipher what.

“I have to go, I’m late,” he mumbled suddenly, stepping away from you and walking over to the door. “Don’t wait up.” You watched dumbfounded as he opened the bedroom door and stepped out into the hallway, slamming the door shut behind him; leaving you to wonder, “What the hell just happened?”

.............................

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[saeyoungs-sunflower]

Would You Rather... (V’s Birthday!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIHYUN!💙 This was done in haste, so I know it’s not much and it’s pretty rough haha. Writing has been...difficult lately, but I just wanted to get something out for our favourite mint man’s birthday. I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Tomorrow I’m gonna be reading and reblogging a bunch of Jihyun birthday/Jihyun week fics. I’m behind on my reading hehe, but I’m too tired tonight and I gotta focus on all the wonderful writing. So prepare for the Jihyun spam tomorrow ;)

Word count: ~ 1000

***

“Okay okay okay,” MC snorted, the wine in her glass sloshing dangerously close to the rim as she adjusted her position on the couch, “it’s your turn.”

Jihyun chuckled in return, his cheeks starting to ache from grinning. Not that he noticed nor cared in the slightest, “Would you rather...have a cat or a dog?”

“Jihyun, that’s so boring!”

“I don’t know what to ask!”

“Just whatever! What do you wanna know about me?”

He nudged her knee with his, his smile growing wider than he thought possible, “Do I not know everything already?”

“Absolutely not. There’s always more to learn about a person through a game of ‘Would You Rather’.”

“Hmm…” Jihyun sat back, eyeing MC with curiosity. “Okay, would you rather be able to stop time or rewind it?”

“THERE WE GO! GOOD question,” she beamed, sitting up straight and crossing her legs, much like an excited child eager to tell a story, “I think rewind time, because then you can relive all your best moments however many times you like!”

Jihyun sipped his wine, the one Jumin had generously gifted him during their earlier celebrations. He was genuinely intrigued by her response, “Would that not make those moments less special if you go over them again and again?”

“I don’t think so, not if they’re your very best memories. Those never get duller, no matter what.”

“Interesting, I think I would choose the ability to stop time.”

“Oh really? How come?”

Jihyun leant back, wondering how seriously she wanted him to answer. By the chin propped on her palm and her unwavering eye contact, he decided to give her a wholly honest answer. “I find that time often goes too fast, and I just want to pause it every now and then so a moment doesn’t slip away. Like today, where on earth has the time gone? When we were all sitting together, laughing and eating and singing in some cases.”

MC chuckled at the memory of Saeyoung and Yoosung singing ‘happy birthday’ - or screaming, rather -  at the top of their lungs, as Zen and Jaehee watched on in horror. Jumin and MC quietly laughed at their antics, just as she caught Jihyun’s eye. He was glowing, beaming. Not just because it was his birthday, but because he got to be with those he cherished most. His joy was palpable.

“I just didn’t want it to end,” Jihyun continued, “and I’ve been having more of those moments lately...they never used to happen before.”

“Don’t you think that if those moments are becoming more frequent, it’s a sign of many more to come? So really, that sense of joy that you feel in those times aren’t actually slipping through your fingers, but are actually always in your grasp?”

He enveloped her hand with his, giving it a light squeeze as the corners of his mouth lifted, “You’re right. As long as I have you, love, then I don’t have anything to worry about.”

A comfortable silence fell on the room, both of them enjoying the quiet after a wonderful but fatiguing day. Drowsiness started to creep up on Jihyun, caused by both the celebrations and the wine in his hand. His eyelids fell shut and his muscles became heavy as he brought his glass to his lips, savouring the taste of the last drops of Merlot...

“Would you rather have finger-sized nipples or nipple-sized fingers?”

...Only to spit it out again. He was suddenly grateful that the floors weren’t carpet.

The previously soundless home was instantly filled with laughter; full-bellied, unfettered laughter. MC clutched her stomach as tears fell freely down her cheeks, and Jihyun couldn’t help but just watch. Here they both were, all giggly and tipsy, with such a genuine and extreme fondness for life. She was right, he didn’t want time to stop at that moment. He wanted to create a life where moments like this were never short in supply.

“Sorry sorry hold-hold on,” she squeaked, grabbing a tissue from the coffee table and climbing onto her boyfriend, reaching for his face which was currently dripping crimson, “let me get that for you, sir.”

“You’re out of control, you know that?” Though he couldn’t hide his enjoyment. It was written all over his face.

“Absolutely, but you love me for it.”

He scooped her up, the squeal that escaped her lips making his laughter double. Wrapping his arms around her form as her head lay on his chest, Jihyun kissed the top of her head and let out a sigh, appreciating the way she snuggled into him.

“I love you for everything you are. Thank you for making today so special.”

“You’re always welcome, my darling. I love you. Just promise you won’t stop time if given the chance?”

Jihyun chortled and nuzzled her hair, “I would never. I still have so many adventures to go on with you.”

MC lifted her head and planted a soft but enthusiastic kiss on his mouth, letting the taste of red wine and the feel of his plush lips on hers consume her senses. Everything about him was so soft, so warm. As she pulled away, she marvelled at the way his blushed cheeks contrasted his hair. He was a work of art, in both his looks and his soul.

“I can’t wait, Jihyun.” She resumed her place on his torso and let her eyelids flutter shut, “And don’t be afraid of time flying. Fly with it.”

Her words replayed in his head as he drifted into the realm of sleep, the light of his life in his arms and the weight of her on his body acting as the perfect reminder that she was there. No matter how much time seemed to slip by, she was a constant, and that was enough to ease his fretful mind.

***

Not my best, I know haha, but I wanted to give Jihyun some birthday love! Thank you for reading, have a wonderful day🦋💙

[injiminsheart]

Acquisition of a Daffodil: Ch 4: Alone In The Big Bad World

Genre: Fluff | Angst (light) | Humor | Smut | Dark  | Hybrid

Rating: General | Teen | Mature

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader (?)

Fandom: BTS ARMY

Fiction Notes: BTS canon AU/ Slight future fic/ AU for personal life

Warnings: May give you some feels! :D

Do you know how that feels? Living your life day by day and knowing that painful truth. No one loves you. No one has and no one will. It's sad sometimes but mostly you're just numb. 

People tell you sometimes, “no, honey, you're beautiful and you have such a beautiful personality. You just haven't found the one yet.”

Haven't found the one, yet? Do you even know how long it's been? How long is a different question. It's never ever happened. I've never even been kissed.

When I was in 7th grade--the first crush I ever had--I told him I liked him. He told my best friend, ‘I only think of her as a friend.’ I cried. I cried for so long and didn’t talk for so many days. Who made sure I was okay? No one. Well, actually, Harry Potter did. I buried myself in books. Read and dreamt to my heart’s content. Emily Dickinson did say, “the dearest ones of time, the strongest friends of the soul, books.”

But it happened again. Doesn’t it always happen again? Everytime you love, you think it’s the last, but it happens again. You fall in love all over again. And I did. It’s just this time, it wasn’t a hurtful boy, it was this gorgeous woman. I had just graduated from community college. She was my brother’s taekwondo teacher. I was working at a shop at that time. I remember like so many other Holidays and birthdays, no one remembered little old me this time either. But they remembered everyone else just fine. I had this client I helped every single time and she brought gifts for everyone in the shop but me. I had friends call me ‘lesbian’ behind my back and do things behind my back as I did all their work. It was like high school all over again. I remember being so alone and scared. So scared. It was so dark in that corner of my mind. Why was it so dark inside my own head? I was scared and I ran. 

I ran and I’ve been running and here I am today. This is the story of how I met the man I loved dearly and the man who left me all alone.

 First day in the great Seoul, South Korea as a university student. I wanted a place where no one would know me at all. What better way to ensure that than by moving to a different country? If the language was different, I would speak to anyone only when it was crucial at other times, I would be left alone. Just as I had been since the beginning of my life. At least this would be on my own terms. 

And it was, for a while. He just didn’t want the extra attention and I wasn’t capable of another heartache. Who knew our mutual likeness of the two tables in the back of the library across from each other would lead me straight into the heart of the storm? 

It began with two opposite tables and then it eventually lead to the same table after another girl took his table. She was so happy just to sit in her “Oppa’s” chair. But the Oppa sat with me instead. I knew who he was. I had my fair share of K-pop from High School to College. Those across the table interaction changed to small talk, and before I knew it, I had fallen for him. I had fallen for the famous Park Jimin. 

The denial hit faster than a bullet train. I crossed the Pacific Ocean and the International date line to get away for this idiosyncratic behavior. I won’t allow myself to be like this again. There was only one thing left to do, distant yourself from him. I found a new place to study. Under the abandoned bleachers out by the old football field. It was a bit of walk so nobody really bothered to come here. 

As I walk in my own world with headphones in my ears, I feel a person come up to me and put their arm around my neck. My fight or flight kicks in and I try to attack my offender. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Relax. It’s just me,” says the girl, taking her arm off. The frown on my face must’ve clarified my inner questions because she tucks her hands in her pocket and says, “I’m Grace. I’m in your poli-sci class.”

“You speak English?”

“I would certainly hope so. I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”

“Yes, you are. It’s just been awhile since I’ve spoken English. I was taken back all of a sudden. What can I do for you?”

“Can I study with you?”

“Umm….sure.”

A knock on the door pulls Y/n out of her own thoughts.

“Come in.”

Secretary Kim peeks into the office and asks, “Is anyone in here with you?”

“No one is in today, Grace. Come in. I was just thinking about you.”

“You were?”

“Yeah, about the first day we met.”

“You mean when I asked you if I can study with you?” Grace asks with a soft smile and making her way across the office.

“Yes, Babe. That day,” Y/n says, pulling Grace towards herself.

“Y/n,” whines Grace, “What are you doing? What if someone sees us? Didn’t we agree on staying strictly professional at work?”

“We are strictly professional all the time, but I just miss you. I haven’t been able to be with you since the last few weeks. I’ve been so busy with the acquisition and then JiHyun has been all up in my business,” sighs out Y/n as she gets up and hugs Grace and lays her head on Grace’s shoulder. 

“I know it’s been a long week for you, Babe, but you gotta behave. You can’t just be falling apart in front of everyone like that. I know you used to have a thing for Jimin and him being here doesn’t help but you gotta stay strong.”

“I’m trying, but that bastard is testing my patience. I saw him throwing you a wink and eyeing you up and down. Was about to slap him.”

“Relax, Y/N. Guys do it all the time and you’ve never been bothered before, so why does it make such a big difference?”

“I just don’t like it!”

“What don’t you like, Y/n? The fact that a guy winked at me? The fact that the guy was Jimin? Or the fact that you still have feelings for him and you don’t like that he was looking at me, instead of you?”

“That’s not what I meant, Grace.”

“So tell me. What DID you mean?” Grace said furiously. She freed herself out of Y/n’s grasp and looked at Y/n teary-eyed, “I can’t keep competing with that man, Y/N. I was the one that picked up the pieces of your heart that HE shattered after he started dating AaRa in college! I was the one that kept you together all these years! I was the one that stood with you to build your business when he walked out on you. I was the one that took away all the pain. But he waltz in to your life after so many years and there you go again. Lose your mind and chase after him again.”

“You’re blowing this way out of proportion, Grace. It’s nothing like that.”

“It’s Secretary Kim for you. I’m at work,” Grace said wiping her tears.

Y/n was hurt and shocked at the same time. She felt herself breaking again. Why her? Why again.

“My apologies, Secretary Kim. You may get back to work and please cancel all my meetings for today. There’s somewhere I have to be,” Y/n said picking up her cell phone and making her way out the door.

***

Y/n’s been driving around for a while. She can’t seem to think straight so she comes back home. A bottle of vodka never hurt anyone, she thinks to herself. As she’s about to enter the elevator, she finds two familiar figures standing in the elevator. She finds herself staring at the certain Park Jimin with his arm around the girl she always hated the most in college. Little Miss Popular, Soo Hyun. Park Jimin is currently dating her college nemesis, Soo Hyun?

Y/n scoffs and lets out a laugh as Soo Hyun seemed to have recognized Y/n right as the elevator door closes to take them back up to the floor they came from. 

“Bitch!” whispers, Y/n, “serves her right!”

She doesn’t want to wait for the elevator to come down and face them again, so she decides to take the stairs. Which was possibly the worst decision as she’s currently in heels. 

It takes her a while but she finally makes it to the 6th floor. She rolls her eyes when she sees Ji Hyun standing in front of her apartment.

“Wow! Your eyes are gonna hit your brain like that.”

“Look, JiHyun, I’m not in the mood today. This day can’t get any worse than it already is. So I suggest you return from my humble abode today.”

“But I come bearing gifts,” he says lifting a bag upto Y/N’s face.

“Not today,JiHyun,” repeats Y/n.

“Just open the door. Didn’t think you would ever refuse your favorite bottle of vodka.”

Y/n sighs and smiles a little, “Fineeee!!! But only cuz I was going to get shitfaced drunk anyway.”

Ji Hyun shakes his head and chuckles to himself as Y/n unlocks her door. She throws her purse and phone on the table by the door and puts on her inside shoes as Ji Hyun steps into the extra pair by the door. 

“Make yourself at home. I’m going to go change.”

“Into spongebob shorts?”

“Shut up and pour me a drink.”

“Yes ma’am.”

***

“So what happened to you today?” asked a tipsy Ji Hyun.

“Nothing. I had a fight with one of my very close friends.”

“Just a friend?”

Y/n remained quiet and took another vodka shot.

“Why were you here today?” asks Y/n instead.

“Hyung was visiting his girlfriend and I realized she lives in your building. I had bought a bottle for you the other day so I thought I come by and drop it off at your door. But then I saw you at the elevator and I was waiting for you to get on but you didn’t. Then when we got back down, you weren’t there. So I thought I should wait for you for a while and see if you show up.”

“So what happened to Soo Hyun and Jimin?” Y/n said without thinking.

“How do you know her name is Soo Hyun?” asked a confused Ji Hyun as Y/n bit her lip and closed her eyes realizing her slip up. 

“You told me. How would I know?”

“I did?” asked a confused Ji Hyun, “no I didn’t”

“Yes you did. You said Jimin was coming to see Soo Hyun and you came along. Anyways, let me pour you a shot.”

***

Ji Hyun woke up with a headache and in nothing but boxers in Y/n’s bed with no knowledge of how he got there. He saw Y/n drying her hair in her bathrobe. 

“Ummm...what happened?”

“Nothing,” said Y/n. She looked so beautiful and Ji Hyun’s heart skipped a beat. 

“What do you mean by nothing? Why am I like this?”

“Well, there’s some lemon water next to your bedside for your headache and you drank a lot last night and were in no condition to go anywhere so you slept next to me in your boxers.”

Ji Hyun looked mortified. 

“Don’t worry,” laugher Y/n, “I didn’t touch you. I just helped you into bed. We just slept by each other. That’s all. Nothing we haven’t done before.”

“I should head home, now,” Ji Hyun blushed and Y/n laughed.

“I’ll drop you off. Let me get dressed really fast.”

“It’s fine. I can Uber.”

“Relax. I’ll drop you off.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.”

***

Y/n was dropping off Ji Hyun when she saw Ji Hyun’s mom pulling up the driveway with Jimin by her side. Y/n looked at Ji Hyun’s shuffled hair and reached over to fix it quickly. 

“Don’t freak out,” she said reaching over, “you look like you’re doing walk of shame. We don’t want them getting the wrong idea.”

Ji Hyun blushed again and they both got out of the car. Jimin looked annoyed and their mom was smirking. 

“Another late night, Ji Hyun,” teased his mom.

“Yea, Mom. I went to go see Y/n and then didn’t realize when we slept.”

Ji Hyun mustn't have heard what he was saying but Y/n elbowed him lightly as she went crimson with embarrassment. 

Y/n noticed that Jimin looked furious so she felt a bit better and added some fuel to the fire, “Yea, sorry about that, Mrs. Park. We were both so out of it yesterday. I realized this morning that Ji Hyun was still there at my house. So I offered to drop him off. But I have to get to work, now, so I’ll get going.”

“Come by anytime, sweetie!”

“Thanks, Mrs Park.”

***

Jimin walked past his brother and mother. Why is Y/n always infuriating him so much? She keeps pretending not to know him and if that wasn’t even enough. She didn’t even react when he flirted with that girl she used to hang out with in college. Then the same thing Soo Hyun. He had started dating her only because he knew she lived in Y/n’s building but instead of paying attention to him, Y/n was busy sleeping around with his younger brother. 

He entered his room furiously and threw the first thing that came into his hands. 

It isn’t fair! She’s his!

***