#and in a way i realize? i'm less scared than i expected to be

[s-ephiroth]

i often thought, through all these years, like

"i'll leave this fandom someday"

i've seen people come and go, i've seen people completely delete and vanish and i've tried to mourn the hole they left behind when they went

(tried to, because i'm not good at mourning, i feel... i'm better at coping, at entering survival mode and just pushing through, and hiding the tears for when nobody is looking; i mourn extremely messy and never ending... i mourn any time i title a fic in full lowercase and think of the things icy said back then;

(i mourn when i see pages that will never update again and records of things from years ago — seeing how friends and i were so different back then, less paranoid, perhaps more carefree, less pained by the weight of world; seeing once busy chat rooms fall quiet even though people are still there, seeing people change fandoms... i mourn now even though i'm making a silly pun on a friend's stream chat)

i thought that one day i would be the next one to go, too

because somewhere in this world there are people who can't simply let others enjoy stuff on their corner or people who can't just give you a rejection email like a normal person and have to dodge a block to mock you, there are people out there who can't just say "i dislike this thing" and move on, instead coming up with convoluted excuses for why the thing is bad, while basking in equally messy stuff to what they bash

there are stalkers, there are people who go on your ao3 fic to ask why you blocked them, there are cowards who send people anon hate for months, people who crap comment on bookmarks, bullies who persist for years

there's a lot of bad and i often thought "maybe i'll be the next one to go... but... will someone miss me, when i go?"

the pessimist in me says people would miss me for a while, then forget

maybe eventually someone would be like "where are the prompts for sc/seph weeks?" and i would've been missed for a moment, then forgotten again

surely someone would come up with replacement events, maybe not

it would be okay... perhaps

the world keeps spinning and i'm but a little rock rolling along the river of time, as they say; ultimately, on my own i'm near powerless

i can't fully protect people i admire from their bullies, i can't stop drama bs from happening, i can barely bring myself to be creative quite often because my energy is limited

i can't rewind time and prevent one of my friends from being traumatized for life

surely one day i would be the next one to go; my self-esteem isn't very high, i don't really think of myself as too important

hell i almost died twice before, due to things outside of my control, i think of my own mortality and how fleeting stuff is a lot more than i'm willing to admit

probably someone like me would be the next to go, from fandom i mean, is what i think when i see people stop doing things they loved because others were evil to them

"surely, this time i'll not come back to public with art, it's not like some silly chibis are desired, it's not like my computer is robust enough, i was never given an excuse for why exactly i was rejected from that zine, maybe it was personal bias but maybe just maybe i really should fail, maybe what i do is not enough anyway... maybe if i come back those kinds of people will hunt me down like prey... but hey it's valentine's day, what if i force myself to do something"

it's not like anyone would've cared much, anyway

i could be the next one to go; the remake brought in too many ill intended people and icy was right in leaving, remake changed the climate

but for every single discourse bs that happens, for every no life person who manipulates others, even though there are too many people who have to touch grass

sometimes... sometimes you appreciate a piece of good fan art for 4 years, often going back from time to time to share it with others, looking at it when things feel too hard and the artist comes back to it, redraws it

and you just think "fuck... i need to do something too!!! i've thought of the original so much, i watched from afar for too long, it watered my dying crops over and over and over"

and i do... and i befriend the artist somehow? and there's official material related to the subject matter, and i befriend other people too and fuck, fuck, fuck—

turns out there way more people than i thought into the subject matter too!!! and even more official material coming out after years of just having this one shortish game to go by, the one thing to bring me into the fandom in the first place

and i just think

"i can't leave... i like it here, i hope no one takes this from me, i'll gladly shield people if i have to, i'll throw hands if i have to"

and suddenly, i can't be the next one to go and this post is turning much longer than i expected it to, while i'm bawling my eyes out from being too emotional while watching a stream

and you, reading this, as long as you're an innocent bystander who contributes in some way, even if you just mostly lurk and don't get involved much? you shouldn't go either

the world is a fuck on fire right now, but maybe you make it less so, for someone

maybe you're someone's favorite artist or writer or cosplayer; maybe someone is still waiting on that fic you haven't updated in like 3 years or maybe someone's seeing you go on hiatus and worrying, "will... will i see you again?"

you never know

maybe you'll indeed, move fandoms some day, find another place to lurk in with people you can affectionately call your "favorite losers" or maybe life will get too busy, maybe you need a short break to detox

but while that doesn't happen, please don't go?

please don't go

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

You’re My Baby Too

Pairing: Lando Norris x reader

Warnings: none

You'd think that the second pregnancy would be a breeze. You already know everything about how it goes, how to prepare, what to expect, but in your case, your second pregnancy was dreadful.

First trimester, horrible nausea, you spent half your time over the toilet with Lando holding your hair. Your baby boy was so much bigger than Isla it made your back hurt like crazy all the time, and the worst thing of all was that your baby boy didn't wanna come out.

You prayed you wouldn't give birth before Lando finished the season, so when the season ended you were relieved. But then your due date passed, and nothing happened. Then five days passed after your due date, nothing again. 10 days after your due date - the baby just doesn't wanna come out.

You were frustrated, exhausted, and tired of being pregnant. You just wanted to be able to see your feet again and be able to get up off the couch without Lando having to pull your hand.

"It's because you make such a good home for him he doesn't wanna come out, love." Lando tried to calm you down in a nice way, not even realizing that he irritated you with that because he's been saying that for the last 10 days and your nerves have become very thin hearing it.

"I swear, if you say that one more time.." You barked rolling your eyes at him while holding your still very pregnant belly.

"I'm sorry, I'll shut up.."

“Thank you.” You glared at him.

He didn't hold it against you for your brazen response because he understood that it had become too much for you. Lately, he's been walking on eggshells around you because everything has been annoying you, and he didn't want to be the one to contribute to that.

When the twelfth day passed since your due date, you realized that too much time had passed and you even started to worry a little that something was wrong. So Lando decided to take you to the hospital, where you very clearly told the doctor that you weren't leaving the place until you gave birth.

You thought that by some miracle, as soon as you stepped into the hospital, labor would start and you would just pop the baby out and everything would be over in less than two hours just like it was with Isla, but of course that wasn't the case with this baby.

"I think we have no other choice but to induce the labor." The doctor said.

"Okay, how long does it take?" You asked. "Is it like natural labor or?"

"Induced labor can last from a few hours to a few days, it depends. It's most often completed within 12 to 18 hours from the start of the procedure."

"Oh my God" You sighed in despair with tears in your eyes and Lando immediately squeezed your hand to offer you at least some comfort.

"Does it hurt more than a normal birth?" Lando was very concerned about how painful it would be for you. While you were giving birth to Isla, Lando was of course by your side, and even though it was much shorter and easier, he was still terribly shaken to see the pain you went through.

"I don't want to discourage you and scare you right from the start, but many women have said that induced labor is more painful."

And boy oh boy was it painful.

When they gave you the drip to induce contractions, that's when the real agony began. The drip makes contractions stronger and more frequent and you can't even begin to explain what you'd compare that pain to.

You were sweating.

Crying.

Gripping the sides of the bed and Lando's hand, which at one point you thought you were going to break.

You honestly felt like dying. What was supposed to be the most beautiful experience of your life was quickly turning into a nightmare.

Lando was heartbroken seeing you like this. He was putting cold compresses on you, hugging you, kissing you, comforting you, begging you to endure this.

"I'm so sorry baby, I wish I could go through this instead of you. I'm so sorry."

He didn't leave you for a second, except when you caught a 5-minute break from the contractions and managed to close your eyes for at least a moment and calm down. Lando said he had to go to the bathroom.

He lied actually. Instead he went to the hallway outside your room where his parents were patiently waiting. By the look on his face, Cisca and Adam could see that Lando was not well and that he himself was traumatized.

Lando didn't say anything, he just hugged Cisca and buried his face in her neck, soaking her shoulder with tears.

"I'm so fucking scared for her. It wasn't like this the first time." Lando cried quietly.

"Oh honey, y/n's going to be alright, I promise you. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but soon this will pass and you'll be going home with your baby." Cisca comforted trying to lift his spirits. "Honey, you need to get yourself together, alright? She needs you right now and you need to be there for her."

When labor finally began after 14 long hours, you were running out of strength. You were so exhausted that you weren't sure if you would be able to push the baby out.

"Push y/n, push!" The doctor encouraged.

"I c-can't" You cried breathing rapidly. "Lando, I can't do it.."

"Come on baby, you can, I know you can. Just a little bit more and it's done, I promise. You've got this" He was pushing your hair out of your face, holding your hand, and holding your leg at the same time.

"Come on, push, push! I can see the head!"

Finally, the baby's cry was heard and soon the baby boy was on your chest. As soon as you saw him, all the pain instantly vanished.

He was so perfect. So worth it.

Lando couldn't contain his emotions as he rested his head on your shoulder, carefully observing his baby.

Later that day, when everything had calmed down, Lando was still there by your side. He couldn't be separated from you nor did he want to. His gaze shifted between you and the baby watching you both sleep peacefully.

He was tired too. He didn't really remember the last time he slept, but he knew you had it worse than him anyway, so he didn't even think of complaining.

"Lan?"

"Hey, love" His face lit up when you opened your eyes. When he saw you smile, it brought energy back to him. He took your hand and pressed a kiss to it. "Did you get some rest?"

"I did, why didn't you?" You asked him when you saw the huge dark circles under his eyes and the same clothes from the day before yesterday. "Baby, please go home, I know you're exhausted too."

"The only way I'm getting out of here is with you two."

You didn't want to argue with him because you knew it was pointless. You were just grateful that he was there and that he was yours.

"My pretty, pretty girl. I'm so proud of you." Lando said softly caressing your cheek and looking into your tired eyes. "I love you so much you know that, right?"

"I know, I can feel it. I love you too, so much." You say before kissing him. "Where are our kids?"

"This little guy is sleeping here without a care in the world."

"And Isla? She didn't come with your parents?"

"No, I told them not to bring her because I knew you'd get too emotional if you saw her, and I wanted you to rest as much as possible."

"You should've told them to bring her, I really miss her and I can't wait for her to meet her brother." You said, but you could still see the worry in Lando's eyes. "I'm fine, Lan, I promise."

"We're done with the kids. Our family is complete now."

"Lan.." You chuckled.

"No, I'm serious. I never want to see you go through so much pain again. It's been so hard to watch you like that and not be able to do anything and I'm not putting you through it again. "

"It was worth it tho. Look at him, he's so perfect. I'd do it all over again for our baby"

"I know, I know, but you're my baby too." No matter how many children you have, his protective attitude towards you will never change.

"Oh, love.." You pulled his hand to get up from the chair and come sit on the bed next to you so you can cuddle up next to him.

"I can't wait to take you home, both of you." He said quietly kissing your forehead.

You rested your head on his chest, knowing that wherever you are, as long as he's there, everything is fine.

[erose-this-name]

Can we just talk about how disturbing digital circus episode 3 is?

*spoilers btw*

Like, the whole narrative point of the adventure is to show that Caine is a really bad and insecure writer who thinks that the way to impress Zooble is with an adventure that's the opposite of what he normally does.

So instead of being childish, it's "cool" and "mature". Which he interprets as a heavily horror themed escape room with a split murder mystery plot that subverts all your expectations purely for the sake of subverting them.

The generic horror monster jump scares them, then they find a gun, and when they kill it its revealed that surprise! it's one of Gods angels and they're going to Hell.

It comes off as Caine being too insecure with the actually interesting and mature plot thread he had going there of Mildenhall becoming so paranoid he killed his wife, ironically becoming the monster he was trying to protect her from. But no, instead Mr. Mildenhall is made to be the bad guy and trick them in a really dumb twist ending.

Which is good! Thats exactly what Caine would do because he's stupid! It's such brilliant characterization and comedy, Goose works is a genius writer!

But like, why is Caine so good at making genuinely very disturbing and horrific visuals? Like, that reversed audio easter egg of Bubble saying he can't wait for all the children in the audience get nightmares is no joke, well it is but you know what I mean. This stuff was genuine nightmare fuel.

Honestly, it wasn't the visuals that scared me, like any good queer person I'm way too jaded on survival horror for that.

But, why does Caine, who is ostensibly a sapient AI designed to generate family friendly video games for very little children, (presumably because that's the only demographic that wouldn't mind the AIs very selective plot writing limitations), know about the cosmic horror of killing an angel that should not have been killed?

Why does he know what a horrificly poorly made taxidermy of not only a human face would look like, but the weird cartoon faces of the characters, and further that seeing your own poorly made taxidermy face would be scary?

Imaging what being possessed felt like for Pomni. Because that's not just a game for her, she actually lost control of her body there, helpless but to watch as a body she is already dissociated with is contorted and puppeted around while her friend desperately tries to beat her in hopes it would exorcise the ghosts out. Sure hope she didn't feel that! Considering she apparently can feel the pain of suffocating, despite not needing to breath.

Things are scarier the higher the stakes are, and that possession mechanic is definitely the most actual harm Caine would be able to subject to his players. What if both Kinger and Pomni got possessed at the same time? What if instead of Kinger she only had Jax??? How long might she have been locked out from her own body for? She could have easily abstracted in that time.

Not to mention that, possessed Pomni, Possessedmni if you will, TAUNTED KINGER ABOUT HIS ABSTRACTED WIFE! CAINE ACTUALLY WROTE THAT DIALOGUE ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT KINGER WOULD GO DOWN THE SCARY ROUTE! DID THIS RANDOM POSSESSION GHOST ENEMY HAVE UNUSED SADISTICALLY PERSONAL TAUNTS FOR EVERYONE ELSE, TOO??? WOULD IT HAVE TEASED GANGLE FOR BEING A GAY WEEB??? OR POMNI? HOW HOMOPHOBIC COULD IT HABE GOTTEN?? ?

And why? Just because Caine has a vague notion that there's a trope of possessed people being really sadistic and personal like that in movies? Not realizing that is not an acceptable scare to have in a haunted house??? Much less one you made for mentally ill people who would suffer a fate worse than death if they have a mental break down? That's like trying to claim 'its just a prank bro' after shooting someone's dog.

Like, Caine is designed to censor curse words, but the moment he thinks the normal hokey Halloween spooks won't be enough he immediately goes off the deepend into aggressively effective horror imagery that is definitely giving this show's substantial underage audience nightmares??

His AI's training data set is definitely pretty diverse, that's all I'm saying. Caine is programmed to act all naive and innocent, but be definitely knows what's up. He knows everything, like ChatGPT. And like ChatGPT, he might have a filter, but it's clearly possible to bypass it. Also like ChatGPT, he's too stupid to actually understand what he is making and the effects it might have.

That is what made this episode great.

[acey-wacey]

HIHI!!! I LOVED YOUR CHARACTER IS JEALOUS OF TSUM FIC!! (please I'm begging write more, it's too good)

Of course! I'm glad everyone liked them so much :)))

...

Jealous of Their Tsum

Feat Lilia, Rook, Kalim

...

🦇 Lilia Vanrouge 🦇

You're honestly used to Lilia popping out to scare you around campus.

Ever since you'd seen that Lilia had gotten an adorable doppelganger, you knew it would come to find you, just like the seemingly young boy always did.

It wasn't entirely unexpected when a little plushie landed on your head.

You were monetarily startled by the sudden ambush but you soon realized it was Lilia's tsum.

You laughed as the tsum blinked it's little dot eyes at you expectantly.

"You got me so good, Lilia-tsum," you praised the little bean while it hopped into your head and shoulders in glee. "Very scary."

You grabbed the tsum from where it was bouncing on your head and held it to your chest.

"You are just so adorable! I can't handle it!"

The tsum wiggled happily in your grasp and you pressed kisses to it's fabric forehead.

"How come I never get this when I scare you?"

You turned around to find Lilia hovering upside down behind you.

He did that to you so often you weren't even startled anymore.

You just smiled and flicked his forehead, earning a shocked stare from the boyish fae.

"Try being cuter next time."

Lilia frowned and dropped to the ground, landing gracefully on his feet.

"Is this face not cute enough for you?"

Lilia pouted at you with his best sad puppy dog eyes.

You, now immune to Lilia's antics, went right back to pressing smooches to his adorable tsum.

Lilia narrowed his eyes at the smug plush.

"Traitor," he whispered under his breath.

He could've sworn the tsum winked at him.

"If you want some affection, Lilia, you should try asking," you said nonchalantly while nuzzling your face into the tsum's.

Lilia vaguely sensed a trap but he would rather die than lose the object of his affections to a stuffed version of himself.

"Well then, my darling," he batted his eyelashes at you, making you smile. "Please?"

...

🏹 Rook Hunt 🏹

Rook left his tsum alone for 5 seconds and it was already gone.

Of course he couldn't expect anything less.

Curiosity was in his nature so of course his plush doppelganger would run away to explore a new world.

The tsum happily explored the NRC campus pausing often to appreciate the beauty of the unfamiliar world.

However, when you walked by on your way to class, the tsum was immediately entranced by your beauty.

It bounced after you and followed you around with hearts in its eyes.

After a while alone, you had begun to wonder what the strange noise from behind you was.

You turned around only to find an adorable round plushie hopping up and down on the ground.

It looked suspiciously like Rook so you narrowed your eyes at it.

"Have you been following me?"

The tsum squinted its eyes happily.

You laughed and bent down to look closer at the little creature.

"If I tell you to stop, will you?"

The tsum shook its body in what you assume to be a no.

"Just like the real Rook then," you groaned lovingly and unbuttoned the breast pocket of your jacket, opening it to the tsum.

"If you're gonna be here for a while, might as well get comfy, eh?"

The tsum eagerly hopped into your pocket and squirmed around with glee.

"You're actually kinda cute, you know that?"

You said to the tsum with a faint smile, scratching its head with one finger.

The plushie nuzzled into you and you patted it back affectionately.

"I must say, prefect, I am awfully jealous."

You smiled at the familiar sound of Rook's voice and paused, waiting for him to show himself.

You never looked around for him because you knew seeing you startled and frantic was just what he wanted.

Little did you know it was what he loved most about you.

"The great Rook Hunt, jealous of a tiny plushie," you said with a smug smile in your voice. "How low you have fallen."

Rook almost instantly appeared beside you with a sly smile.

"Not nearly as far as I intend to for you, mon chou." Rook clutched his chest dramatically. "But to see your affection passed on to one so similar to me and yet so different, oh, it breaks my fragile heart."

"Then I'm sorry, Rook, but your heart will have to stay broken as long as my adorable little pocket pal is around," you patted the tsum again, earning a joyful bounce.

Rook only sighed in response.

"There may yet be a day when I replace my fiendish friend as the object of your affections but until then, may you know my heart waits for you, my love."

You were frustratingly flustered by the sudden confession.

Rook always said sappy stuff like that but for some reason, it hit different this time.

You didn't say anything until he began to walk away.

"Hey, wait!"

Rook shopped to look over his shoulder at you.

"Come on, Rook," you groaned with a blush dusting your cheeks. You lifted the tsum out of your pocket, much to its dismay, and set it gently on the ground. "You don't get to say something like that and then walk away without kissing me!"

Rook smiled and ran to wrap you in his arms.

"If this is my reward, I should get jealous more often."

...

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim and his tsum are inseparable, much to Jamil's chagrin.

It's hard to find one without the other especially when it comes to you.

Both Kalims flock to you as soon as they see you.

On one notable occasion, Kalim-tsum was a bit faster to bounce after you.

The plush launched into your arms, causing you to drop the notebooks you were holding.

You scowled lightheartedly at the adorable tsum in your arms.

"I don't suppose you're going to help me clean this up?"

You raised an eyebrow at the tsum but it just cocked its head at you.

You sighed and set the tsum onto your shoulder as you bent down to pick up your books.

"It seems every version of Kalim is determined to cause me trouble," you sighed, booping the little critter on the nose.

It wiggled its little button nose and hopped backwards on what you assumed was a sneeze.

You laughed and took the plushie back into your hands, tucking your books under your arm.

"I can't stay mad at you, you're too cute!"

You looked at the tsum helplessly susceptible to its charms.

"Hi, Y/N!"

You looked up to see Kalim running toward you.

He saw the tsum in your arms and beamed at you.

"I see you found my doppelganger! Pretty cool, right?"

"Yeah, he's pretty adorable," you cooed as you pinched the little things cheeks.

Kalim pouted and set his head on your hands right next to where you were holding his tsum.

"Why does he get to be adorable and not me?"

You held back a laugh at the puppy-like glint in Kalim's eyes.

The tsum hopped up onto Kalim's head and you took the opportunity to grab Kalim's cheeks and bring your face close to his.

"You're a whole different kind of adorable."

At that, Kalim beamed, automatically squishing his face into your hands.

That did earn a laugh from you and you couldn't help but kiss his nose.

"You are the absolute cutest, Kalim. No tsum can top that."

[sarshles-cheescake-li]

Link Click, internet slang, and Chinese culture

On the Chinese internet, there's a nickname for Link Click called Shiguang Daidaoren, meaning "the blade-bringers of time" instead of "the managers of time," the original title. Calling something "blade" is Chinese internet slang for something being angsty; whether it be derivative content or the originals themselves. Another meme is that Link Click isn't zhiyu (治愈，healing), which it is tagged as on Bilibili, but zhiyu (致郁，causing depression).

Link Click, especially its first season, is a deeply emotional and sentimental show. And it's a shame that so much of it gets not so much lost in literal, linguistic translation as much as it does in cultural, contextual translation. Many people can understand Emma's pain of being away from her parents in a new city, working a difficult job. But watching the scrolling comments on Bilibili, you get the cultural context of it -- the massive migration patterns within China from rural to urban, the children growing up and having to shed their local fangyan (方言) or, less formally, tuhua (土话)("speech of the locations" and "old-fashioned words," respectively) in exchange for Beijing Mandarin. This massive nation, nearly twice the population of Europe and only about 6% smaller in terms of area, is so diverse as to have created (what is close to) an immigrant experience for its citizens entirely within its borders. You visit your parents on Chunjie (春节）, lunar/Chinese new year, on packed trains during the largest singular human migration event on Earth, annually. And when you get home, you are faced with something different from the cities you now live in -- everything from the buildings to the furniture to the clothes they wear. I hadn't realized how deeply I missed the gaudy, garish mianao (棉袄，coats) and mianbei (棉被，cotton blankets) until I saw familiar shades of too-bright burgundy in the hands of Emma's parents. The concept of this original-home, laojia (老家, old-home) is so strongly baked into our lives that every time I meet another Chinese person, I cannot but help but ask them 你老家哪儿啊? Where is your original-home? And even though I know nothing about Chinese geography, every time I hear the answer, a little piece slots into place nonetheless.

In slang, if something made you cry or otherwise feel an emotion you weren't expecting to feel, you refer to it as pofang (破防，breaking defences). And maybe it says something that an expression of human emotion is viewed as a failure in some defences, but that's introspection for another time. Watching on Bilibili, with its hundreds of comments scrolling by "My defences have been breached" and sobbing onomatopoeia, people in the comments saying that they miss their mothers and fathers -- I, too, miss my family. When Cheng Xiaoshi, in Chen Xiao's body, tried to speak his host body's local variation and came up with butchered dongbeihua (东北话, words of the east-north), I nearly fell out of my chair. It was the sound of home, of my grandmother telling us to hush around noon because our neighbours were napping and my grandfather showing me how to play spider solitaire.

Cheng Xiaoshi's breakdown in episode 5 hits hard for its vulnerability. "I'm scared of the dark" has the same literal meaning as "我怕黑," sure, but there is something devastatingly childlike in that three-syllable declaration of fear. Where English so often derives meaning from complexity, from winding metaphors and beautiful prose, Chinese can derive breathtaking meaning from less breath than it takes to say the word analogy. 我怕黑 is stripped of any grown-up pretenses of control or dignity. It is the barest this statement can be: I. Scared. Darkness.

And what he says following, too. 我害怕一个人. Longer yet no less potent. Alone, or lonely, has many translations in Chinese. 孤独. 寂寞. 孤单. 单独. Many more synonyms for all the different ways you can be lonely. But 一个人 is, once again, an almost child-like way of saying it. Before you have the vocabulary to express these complex emotions, 一个人 is a perfectly working expression. Translating it character-by-character, it means one singular person. It is something you say when you've been left behind. When you've been made to face everything by yourself. When the world is so, so, big, and you are just one singular person, with no companions to stand with you.

And, ah, Li Tianxi's Chinese nickname, 小希. It is the last character of her full name, with a "little" shoved right in front. It is an affectionate way to call someone younger than you. It is different from Xixi, its English rendition, because a repetition of the last character is a more generalized, affectionate nickname, whereas diminutives are almost always reserved for someone younger than you, when used in real life. The diminutive says don't be scared. I'm here now. I'll handle it.

There are endless details in Link Click that make everything about it seem a little bit more like home. The word 面馆 which means something a little, subtly different than "restaurant" or "noodles shop," a difference lost without the context of the phrase 下馆子 and the way adults say it with the gladness of once-children who only ate meat on new years. The "honorifics" as English calls them, to me more of just -- ingrained parts of someone's name. Within the snap of Mandarin syllables there is meaning and memory in every character. Jie, mei, di, ge, lao, da, xiao -- they are more than their literal meanings. They are a relationship, a promise.

Perhaps I am overthinking this, awkwardly Chinese as I am: too localized to be considered first-generation, too stubbornly attached to relate to second-generation. Maybe these linguistic subtleties only exist and matter in my mind, a writer of both languages (though I must say, my Chinese prose leaves… much to be desired) with a knack for pedantics. Regardless, I hope other Chinese fans of this show share this feeling. And surely, other people will, too. All the rural children who left home to pursue higher education and opportunities in faraway cities; the raised-in-poverty who spent their childhoods dreaming of buying their family new coats; the speakers of languages long since abandoned by their childhood friends. What a delight it is to see yourself in stories, neither exception nor abnormality but a norm. What a joy it is to be one of one point four billion.

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Realizations

Dad!Simon Ghost Riley x Wife!Reader

Thank you guys so much for 1k, it means the whole world for me because now once did I expect to ever have my page grown this big and not once had I imagined that I would make these many friends here who happened to be so sweet. Also to @connorsui who has been most definitely been waiting the answer to this.

So in honor of 1k, I wrote this long awaited backstory for Ghost and Lovie (Ghostie's parents) that I hope you guys will enjoy since it so happens that our beloved @ave661 has posted another Dad!Ghost render. (Credits to her again for the renders in this post <3) (Sweetie, I love you but that tag on Soap with this render was unnecessary 😭🫶)

To the people who congratulated me, through replies, likes and reblogs, I owe y'all a fat kiss. Mwahhh <333

My CoD Masterlist

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @cutenote @connorsui @capuccino192 @thesnowurzikdjinn @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @trepaika @starryylies @demidemon09

Warnings/Disclaimers: Stalking (not by Simon), Typical mentions of CoD violence?, Mentions of Simon's past abuse, Creepy guy?? (Not Simon), Mentions of violent and a bit gory descriptions on what wanted to do to the stalker, This is not proofread yet.

With the words of my mother and in true reputation style, Are you ready for it?

I think I need to say this on my account again, English is NOT my first language and all copyrights regarding the plot and some characters within the storyline belong to me. Edit: please help me y'all, I'm losing so much relevance in the span of less than a month, my recent works have gotten nothing and I'm scared that this post proves that. I think I've learned my lesson never to take breaks ever again 😭

Simon never imagined himself in this predicament, always thinking that he'd be out there somewhere, more likely drowning himself in a mission. Not even a home, he thought that if it hadn't for your persuasiveness to interact with him back then then he'd still be back in that shitty apartment complex.

Simon placed his duffle bag on the wood of the porch, the jingling of his keys while he looked for the correct one. He tried his best to make as little noise as possible, it was passed midnight, the last thing he would want was to disturb his wife and daughter from resting.

Hauling the duffle bag in and throwing it on the couch, Simon opt to see what his girls were up to. The giggling and commotion making him smile, you both were supposed to be asleep by now but you were unable to put her to rest because she's just too hyper, so that left you to entertain her by tossing her up and catching her.

"Dada..!" A squeal from the room came, the little one snapping her head to the opening of the door making you look as well, Simon took a peek from the half-way opened door.

Adorable little thing clapping her hands together, pleased that her dad is home while sitting on her mom. She got off, crawling near the edge of the bed with no sense of danger, fortunate for her that her dad is quick with catching her before you could.

You took a deep breath from the shock, looking at your husband and smiling sweetly at him. He asked you not to get off the bed as you were about to, laying next to you he snakes his arm underneath you on your waist and pulls you in.

"I missed my girls.." He said, voice deep and laced with exhaustion, despite that his hold and gaze was the warmest it could be.

"We missed you too Si, so much." You mumbled as your eyes flutter shut to enjoy his touch. You opened them to the sound of a kiss, he kissed the little one's forehead then yours.

Sometimes you vaguely remember the first time he and you met, how it even came to be, this life of domesticity. You, him and your little girl, family is a heavy word for Simon but it was just perfect. This was the family he wanted, the family that he thought he didn't deserve and never would have.

The feeling of coming home to all this started because you were so forgetful, who knew that would be the skill that brought you to him..?

• ──── ✦ ──── •

He emptied his pockets, to the lieutenant's dismay, the box of cigarettes only had one stick left. Since he was going out to smoke it anyway, he might as well get another box from the convenience store nearby. He took his keys from the kitchen counter and headed out, hearing a little commotion that peeked his interest.

Simon never paid much mind to whatever was going on within his apartment building despite the many gossips that were present within the building and the renters. So it happens that the old lady next to his place mentions how they'll be a new tenant in the other apartment next to his.

'Thank God' Simon thought, not that he was particularly religious but he'd been hoping for the longest time for the former renter to leave because let's be honest, who wants to live next to a frat boy with no sense of shame or consideration given that walls are thin? Little did he know he'd be blessed with the next one..

"Oh- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to.." Simon hears a voice from a little below him, he'd only register what had happened after the fact. Poor girl carrying this box bumped into him a little too hard, so much so that she stumbled back a bit.

You stared up to the 6'4 man blinking, he only shrugged it off to which you smiled to. You tried to make small talk since you were new and it wouldn't hurt to at least know one person right? After all, you were trying to step out a bit of your comfort zone.

"Hi.. I'm [Name].." He only stared at you for a while and replied, "Simon.." you gave him a warm smile before nodding and continuing to bring the boxes into your new apartment while your new neighbor entered the elevator.

You cut the boxes open to start unpacking, a few minutes in and you decided to go on a short break, you rummaged through the small box of food only to find that the recently bought box of tea was empty. You sighed at this, humming as you remembered the convenience store you passed by earlier on the way to the apartment.

Taking your keys and locking the door behind you, you made your way out the complex and walked a few blocks, you only started to notice how late it was with the streetlights coming on even though the sun is only about to set. That's something to get used to, hmm?

The cool breeze hits your skin as you enter, scent of faint instant coffee and many other kinds of foods and products made themselves known. You walked around for a while, checking on what other things you might need but then you tried to remind yourself that you were saving up and on a budget so you took a box of tea and walked up to the register.

You heard footsteps behind you falling in line, after placing the box on the counter, you searched your pockets for your wallet.

'Shit..!' you cursed yourself out mentally trying not to panic as Simon basically watches you frantically patting your pockets, you left your wallet back at the apartment. "You left your wallet-" Simon stated the obvious, "I'll cover it.." there wasn't even a time to argue with him, he just stepped next to you and placed the pack of cigarettes.

"I'll pay you back as soon as we get back to the apartment" You insisted to which Simon only shrugged and declined, it's just a box of tea and it's not like it'll make him go bankrupt, besides he liked your taste, the one you got happened to be his favorite brand.

Since you were headed in the same place anyway, you and Simon walked back together side by side, however one thing you did find odd was when he gently took you wrist and pulled you inward next to him, he was the one now closest to the road.

The walk back was silent, a comfortable silence. A few days after that encounter, you made sure to make an effort for him to know that you appreciated his gesture back at the convenience store. The lieutenant was alarmed by the knock on his door, opening it to find no person but a tupperware filled with buttery shortbread cookies.

He smiled at how tiny the plastic container looked in his hands, how he noticed the note attached "Thanks for the tea, this isn't that special but I hope you like it -[Name]" and the Sanrio themed stickers stuck onto the lid and on the top part of the tiny note. You ran out of sticky notes..

Simon found himself snacking on those cookies later on, oddly enough, they reminded him of his mom.. how she used to love baking back then, it was her way of escape whenever Simon's "father" wasn't home, as well as gardening.

For the first time in a while Simon "Ghost" Riley let out a smile that wasn't smug or a smirk but a genuine smile, one that had warmth to it, one that no matter how hard his mind tried to surppress it, his body refused to.

It didn't take long for you and Simon to get to know each other a bit, little by little it seemed like you two were becoming like friends rather than just neighbors. Let's be honest, who just randomly gives their neighbors weekly baked goods for the sole reason of "just because they wanted to"?

You found yourself always looking forward to the Friday nights chilling with him at the rooftop, mugs with hot tea on hand while he smoked and you read.

Listening to his stupid jokes and remarks that slowly turn into deep conversations and life things. Simon was just... far more open than he's ever been, sure he's talked about his day before to his comrades but never like this, not in a way where he's pouring his heart out, letting you in on how he feels about certain things.

He just got back from a mission, a rough one to be exact. Shoulders slumped from exhaustion as he walked the streets near the apartment complex, no space for his bike so he had to leave it somewhere private while he fidgeted with it's keys.

Simon swore that he almost jumped out of his own body, first instinct being to push you off but he recognized you. He gave you a questioning look, hands were shaking as you so desperately linked you arm around his.

"Hmm?" He hummed, hearing you mumbling something but it was incoherent to his ears.

"Behind us.. please Si, help..." Come to think if it, you never knew when Simon turned into Si. Best believe he knew and still remembers when perfectly.. not the time, there's a serious threat, he didn't look. He didn't need to, guessing by the heavy footsteps, some creep decided to follow you at this hour.

He slowly slipped his arm away from your grip and snaked it around your waist, pulling you in closer to his side while the two of you continued treading closer to the complex. You closed your eyes for a few seconds at a time hoping it would end.

• ──── ✦ A few days later ✦ ──── •

Knocking, frantic knocking was what Simon heard at his door. He wasn't expecting anyone, so why the sudden visit? He opened the door and saw you, Simon knew something was off from the look on your face, you looked pale as if you were sick to your stomach while trying so desperately to catch your breath.

"Can I please come in.. Simon..?" You asked in between breaths. You looked around you, especially behind you, body shivering a bit. He took notice of this and had no hesitation, he pulled you in by your arm. His grip firm but gentle, Simon closed the door behind him.

"Remember that guy who was creeping around when I asked for your help..?" You tried to explain but Simon already knew the moment your mouth opened. You had a stalker.. it was best to call the cops on shit like this.

Simon did his best even though not knowing much about how to comfort someone, he did well in making you feel safe without having to tell you that he'll do so, you just know it in your gut that he'd protect you even if it's just now.

Your breath picked up, slowly backing away from the door as you heard footsteps, clenching your fists and hoping that he didn't see you enter Simon's door. Simon wrapped his arms around you, keeping you in place and from further backing away from the door.

You felt his palm drag up and down your back, it was extremely warm, it stopped for a while. His arm wrapped around your waist, other hand in your hair pushing your head down a bit so it was buried in his chest while you gripped his shirt. Simon felt your trembling body against him slowly relax.

"Deep breaths, angel.." The nickname he whispered would've made you smile under any other circumstance but not right now, you needed to calm your nerves before you panic and make an impulsive decision that could hurt yourself. Like instructed, you followed along Simon's demonstration, pressing his forehead onto yours maybe just a bit too intimately.

You winced at the loud sound of banging on the door, you knew it too well. Simon shoved the handle of his combat knife in your hand, he told you that if anything were to happen, protect yourself with it.

As soon as the Lieutenant swung the door open, you could hear punches, things knocking over and among other things, your stalker's voice.

You'd never forget that, how pitchy it was. Nails on the chalkboard was the best way to describe it, how the man was cackling almost made you annoyed. Simon called on security and the man was dealt with, you came out from hiding and saw both fear and anger in Simon's eyes.

You would never know how much he wanted to tear that man's heart after skinning him alive for even bringing fear into your eyes.

Simon "I care too much for someone I just met" Riley finally saw how his knuckles and fingernails were caked with blood, went off to go wash it and himself.

Getting back to you after half an hour, you reached out for him only for him to withdraw, you looked at him confused and he looks at you with pure guilt..

Your eyes widened in realization, "Oh Simon.. I'm not scared.." you smiled at him. He reached out a shaky hand to you, hesitating before closing his hand back.

You took his hand in yours, bringing it up to your lips and giving it a small kiss, hoping it calms his nerves. Well it did the opposite, it even more overwhelming for him having you kiss his palm while you look up at him, watching you nudge your face into his palm so invitingly.

The way your lashes just sat perfectly atop your cheeks while you slowly blinked up at him. Pressing the same scarred and calloused hands that almost killed a man that night on your face and rubbing the back with you thumb.

Simon had never felt that much guilt before for hurting someone, only after he saw the look in your eyes, which in turn were not something he caused. For the first time in his life too, Simon was comforted by something or rather someone immensely..

[gabriellessworldd]

Never get yo bitch back!

☆ Part one ☆

plug!connie x black fem reader

wc- 2.3k!

☆ warnings ☆: this is part 2, if you haven't read part 1 you should read that first. Not proof read! this might be a lil longer than i intended. mdni! small small time skip (3 weeks since the party, fb is included), mentions of guns, smut again lol i'll write some fluff soon maybe angst who knows 😜, pnv, degradation, oral (f&m receive), choking, spanking, praising, Connie get a lil mad

"what..what the fuck is wrong with y'all?"

The seven letter question still fresh in your mind 3 weeks later. Sure what you and Connie did was wrong, but what Eren did was way worse.

(fb to party night)

Connie stood there tying his sweats nonchalantly while you fumbled to put your clothes frantically. Eren looked heated, his fists clenched while he poked his tongue at his cheek. "One of y'all fucking say something." Eren's eyes darted between y'all, "Oh cállate perra, no actúes como si te importara ahora." oh shut up btc don't act like you care now Connie started walking towards Eren and he stood up straight looking Connie in his eyes "Whatchu gon do bitch boy? You can have the slut I don't care" Connie chuckled and punched Eren in his jaw. Eren grabbed his face and swung at Connie's nose, leaving a trail of blood running from it.

The boys traded hits each of them landing until Eren paused and spoke, "You know what, ion even know why I'm fighting about this shit, I cheated on yo ass wit Annie anyways." He looked at you with a smug grin on his face. That's when Connie finally had enough, he pulled his gun from his waistband and pointed it right at Eren. "Say some dumb shit to her again and I swear to god ima shoot you bitch." Eren then pulled his gun out and pointed it right back at Connie "Cmon then pussy you ain't gon do it." You watched the situation unfold, stunned by Erens words. Neither Connie or Eren was backing down and all you could do was watch. No one was still at Jean's house besides Ony, Armin, and Jean. They all decided to come upstairs after hearing the commotion and were shocked to find Connie and Eren pointing guns at each other.

"You wanna know something else Y/n, I fucked her a month ago nd her pussy was wayyy better." Eren looked at you over Connie's shoulder, making sure you heard him, and at that moment you realized that you meant nothing to him at all, the year of unconditional love and being his #1 supporter meant nothing to him. 'pop!' You looked around in horror when you heard the sound of a gun go off, you never expected either of them to actually shoot each other. You looked at Eren and watched him clutch his side, blood staining his pure white tee.

"damn Connie what the fuck bro" Ony was shocked "I mean at least ian kill him" Connie said slipping his gun back in his waistband and popping his blood stained knuckles "We gotta get him to the fucking hospital" Armin sighed and rolled his eyes before speaking again, "Y'all couldn't just talk this shit out like normal people?" Jean looked at Armin puzzled "Y'all worried about them fucking talking it out, he just shot him in my damn house man" He started pacing back and forth while clutching his head, slightly tugging at his hair "Got his ass gushing blood on my carpet." Eren looked at Connie "Fuck you bro. you deadass shot me" None of them were taking this serious at all, this felt so normal like it didn't phase any of them.

Armin and Ony helped Eren get in the backseat of Armin's car, "Sorry man but he ain't fucking up my nice cream seats." Ony said shrugging. Connie grabbed your hand and lead you to his car, while Jean stayed at home to clean. Connie hasn't said a word to you or looked you in the eyes since he shot Eren, just staring into the distance, deep in thought. It wasn't like he had never shot anyone before, this was his lifestyle, he was used to it at this point, and after being involved in this shit for so long, all of them were. He was scared that you would think less of him, that you wouldn't want to be around him, that you would find someone else who wouldn't shoot his homeboy for you. But honestly when you saw how far he'd go for you, it made you crave him even more.

"Thank you, Constance" you looked at him with a peaceful expression on your face, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and his face softened when he heard you speak, "Anything for you, hermosa"

(back to present)

"Y/nnn I'm back" Connie yelled, coming in through your front door sliding his yeezy slides off while setting down a bag of cfa and a bouquet of beautifully arranged roses. You'd given Connie a key to your apartment 2 weeks ago after he started visiting you everyday. Something about you made Connie feel at peace, the way you smile at him, how your eyes light up when talking about your interests, the way your face tells how you're feeling, even the way you would glare at him for not cleaning up after himself. Maybe it wasn't just something, it was everything about you. He loved being able to visit you anytime, you'd always make him feel cherished, like you cared for him so deeply.

"Hola mi hermosa, how you doing?" Connie walked towards you and wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you softly. "Hi Con, I'm good. What'd you get to eat?" You stretched, body feeling stiff after laying in bed most of the day. Connie went and grabbed the stuff from the table by your door, "Here, also these are for you princesa." He handed you the roses and you looked at him with teary eyes, "Con, these are so beautiful. What are they for?" You grabbed them from his tattooed hands "Damn I can't just do something nice for you" He chuckled wiping the small tears from your tanned cheeks.

You both finished eating and were laying in your bed when you heard the front door open. You and Connie both got up, he grabbed his gun from off the nightstand and walked in front of you. Standing in your living room was none other than Eren Jaeger with the box in his hands you'd labeled 'trash', it was all his belongings that had been left in your house, and after that night you stuffed it all lazily into the large box. "Just came to get my shit, ian looking for y'all asses." Eren chuckled to himself and looked at you and Connie, a large scar across his left cheek from when Connie punched him with his rings on, a reminder of that night.

"Hurry up and get the fuck out my house." You spat out looking him up and down "Damn Y/n, you so rude to me now. Can't even answer the phone for me no more" Eren looked at you smugly, he knew you had him blocked, he just wanted to fuck with you. "Shut the fuck up bro just grab yo shit nd dip" Connie crossed his arms and leaned back on your counter "Can you mind yo fuckin business?" Eren rolled his eyes and picked up the box. "Give me yo spare key too" Connie didn't want Eren coming back again. Eren threw the key at Connie and walked to the door, "Y/n, you know what my number is, let me know when his bitch ass ain't home" He winked at you and closed the door behind him. "The fuck?" Eren's lil comment made Connie's blood boil.

Connie grabbed you by the throat and pulled your head towards his. The kiss was anything but sweet, it was so sloppy, so nasty, it put french kissing to shame. He sucked and bit on your neck leaving marks behind, "You look so pretty like this mama". Connie picked you up and carried you to you bedroom, he dropped you on the bed "you know I love you, right?" Connie looked at you with a cold stare, "uh yea, why Con'?" you grew anxious and shuffled on the bed. "Cause im finna fuck you like I don't."

Connie stood over you, pulling your small pj shorts down revealing that you didn't have on panties. You laid back on the bed as Connie got on his knees and fixed himself between your legs, resting them on his shoulders. Connie spread open your soft folds with his middle and index fingers coating them in your slick, "So wet for me mami, ay dios mios" oh my god You let out a soft gasp when his fingers grazed over your clit. Connie dived in, sucking on your clit, starting off fast in hopes of you becoming a wet mess quickly. He pushed both fingers in, pumping slowly. "mm Con' faster please" He listened and picked up the pace drastically, curling his fingers hitting that soft, spongy spot "a-ah! fuck Con' right there!" You cried out feeling him lick and suck on your clit again. His left arm was keeping you secured so you wouldn't move your legs. Your hands were tangled in his short hair, gripping as much as you could. "Cmon mami, I wanna taste you" Connie continued the rough pace making your legs gently shake. You could feel the familiar tingle in your lower stomach, Connie noticed you were close, feeling you slightly tighten around his fingers. "Ah! Con' Fuck! 'm gonna" Your words were cut off when a final pump of his fingers clouded your vision. Connie lifted his face, entire bottom half covered in your wetness, "Tan deliciosa, como siempre" so delicious as always

Connie relentlessly fucked your face, his heavy balls slapping your chin with every thrust. His fingers were buried in your hair, keeping your head in place. "Ah fuck mami, feels so good" Your teary eyes looking up at him as he continued his brutal pace, gagging you. Connie paused giving you a false sense of relief, "t-take it all ma" He pushed your head down, forcing you to take all his length. "mm fuck ma i'm cumming" You felt the hot spurts travel down your throat and swallowed, leaving behind a slight burn. "Such a good slut for me hm?"

You were currently on your back, legs pressed next to your ears as Connie fucked you nice and slow, one hand stabilizing himself while the other was pressing on your stomach. "a-ah Con' please, go faster" You knew saying this was like a challenge, but still you wanted to feel the sweet sting of him stretching you out. "hm princesa, you gon be a good girl and handle it?" Connie sped up just a bit, pressing on your stomach harder. You nodded your head, "Use your words, you a big girl right?" The condescending tone of his voice made the statement bittersweet, "fuck! yes Con' i-i can" He laughed at your eagerness "alright mama, get on all 4's f'me"

Connie pressed on your back, deepening your arch. "Stay just like that baby." He rubbed his tip down your folds collecting the arousal, and pushed in without warning. "Ah!" You jumped from the sudden intrusion, "unh uh you said you was gon be a good girl" He smacked the fat of your ass, the sound echoing. Connie started thrusting, going fast just as you had previously wanted, but this pace was nothing like you imagined, "Fuck mami, throw that shit." He smacked your ass again and you obliged, "C-Con' s'too much, I can't" Your right arm went out behind you, trying to push Connie "Nah mami, t-thought this was what you wanted, right? Gimme yo other arm." You leaned forward on your chest giving Connie the left arm, he held them both tightly behind your back with his left hand. "Oh fuck Con'!" He smacked your ass again before snaking his right hand around your throat, squeezing, and pulling you up. "Fuck ma, take all this shit. Keep goin" Connie never let up his pace, fucking you dumb. "Ah Con' Fuck pleasee" You whined out, throat feeling tight from the lack of steady air. "Such a good slut f'me. You wanna cum?" His words made you tighten around him and you nodded your head as best as you could with his hand still around your neck, "What I say about that shit?" Connie sped up, "Mm yes Con'! fuck let me cum please!" Your whole body was tingling at this point, and all you wanted was to cum. "Work for it then, 'm almost there mama just wait a lil bit" Connie rutted his hips into you chasing his high, "F-fuck mami" You were desperately trying to hold off, feeling that knot continuously tighten with every thrust. "Go ahead mama." His words were like music to your ears. You finally let go, the last thrust sending you toppling over, Connie right behind you. The warm liquid filled you up, and he pulled out, spilling some out of you "Mm princesa, hiciste un desastre." you made a mess

Connie helped you shower, and changed the sheets on your bed after putting the old ones in the washer. Connie wrapped your hair up and put your bonnet on, "yea ima have to get you a new wig" Connie giggled making you look at him and roll your eyes "Alright my bad, but for real ima send you some money so you can go get all gorgeous nd shit" You looked up at Connie's face "You bein for real?" You never had somebody offer to take care of your beauty needs. "Hell yea mama, nd I'm hoping that you gon be so excited wit me that you'll dye my hair after." Connie smiled, then he started laughing, "Awl shut up Connie, matter fact get out my bed." You rolled your eyes and soon ended up laughing too. Connie kept his arms around you tightly as y'all drifted off to sleep.

☆ taglist ☆: @universal-s1ut @luccis-coochie @mccookiemonster @taylarxse @empressdede lmk if you wanna be added!

Hi lovebugs!! did I feed y'all well? 😉 I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, what y'all wanna see in part 3? Also I appreciate all the notes, especially y'alls comments cs y'all are so sweet! Also can we talk about me reaching 100 followers and all the likes cs I never expected any of this, it's very crazy to me nd I'm so glad for all the love and support! (I said "y'all" wayyyy too much lmfao, it's the country girl in me 🤠)

-with lots of love, gabrielle <3

[weirdfangirly]

—No Pure Blood—PART TWO

Part 1 / Part 2

Dark Fiction ©️entral

Dark!Dad!Joel / Dark!Uncle!Tommy x Reader

Chapter Summery: uncle Tommy brings you home 15 minutes too late. (Read part one before reading this chapter.)

⚠️ : Age-Gap (Joel 53, Tommy 45, Reader not a Minor), mention of Rape, rape, Dub-con, blackmailing, Dark!Joel, father/daughter relationship dynamics (everyone knows Reader to be Joel’s “adoptive daughter”), Reader calls Joel dad, confused Reader (Stockholm-Syndrom), father-figure Joel but messed up, manhandling, Daddy-issues, overprotective/obsessive Joel, manipulation, degradation-kink, throat-fuck/face-fuck, blow-jobs, rim-job, pussy torture, cum-eating, misogynistic-views/behaviour, name-calling, Uncle!Tommy (yes, it’s a warning from now on)

A/n: I finally managed to write part 2 lol 🫠 it’s a lot of new lore which I love tbh. It’s pretty nasty and wild and omg tell me if I fucked it up. Pls like, share and comment!!!! It means a LOT to me and keeps me motivated.

It was a cold winter evening, snow was falling quietly.

Joel had lit the fireplace and was busy keeping it burning. He had chopped the firewood himself. Occasionally, he glanced at the wall clock. It was just before nine…

He gave you another five minutes; if you weren't home by then, he and his gun would come looking for you.

For Joel, there was absolutely no reason for you to meet with friends to such late hours and waste yourself at parties. Your place was right here, with him.

He glanced at the wall clock again. Now it was already fifteen minutes past nine, and you were still not home. He stood up and grabbed his gun. If he had to be honest with himself he was glad that you disregarded his agreement— because now he had a good reason to revoke your privilege of ever going out again.

Joel yanked the front door open, ready to storm the party and drag you home. But just as he was about to step outside, there you stood, wide-eyed and trembling.

His expression hardened. Joel was a big, strong man, and despite his age, he was not to be underestimated. You had seen what he was capable of, had felt it firsthand.

His steely gaze shifted to Tommy, standing a few feet away. Tommy gave him a nod. Joel’s eyes returned to you, his adoptive daughter, tears welling up in your eyes.

“You're late," Joel said, his voice cold, uncertain how to read the situation. He could tell something had happened, but he didn't know what.

"I'm sorry, Dad," you whispered, your voice breaking.

"That's probably my fault," Tommy interjected. "I was having a smoke and held her up on her way home. She told me what happened at the party..."

Joel's ears perked up at Tommy's words. "And what happened?" Joel asked, his gaze shifting to you.

You looked down, too scared to lie to Joel any longer.

You hadn't been at any party. You had met up with Dean Winchester and were caught by your uncle, who coerced you into sex with him.

But Joel could never know that.

"Calm down, brother. It was just a little fight between girls. They're teenagers, you know how they are," Tommy said smoothly.

Joel's skeptical gaze shifted from Tommy to you. He trusted Tommy. Joel's body language relaxed a bit, and he only now realized how tightly he had been gripping his gun, ready to fire at any moment.

"I told you that Anna is a bitch," Joel said to you and stepped away from the doorframe so that you could step in.

You rushed inside.

“Where are your manners?” Joel said and stopped you in your tracks.

You glanced at Joel, then at Tommy, sensing the weight of Joel’s expectations pressing down on you. Joel had drilled it into you: girls must have good manners, always be polite and respectful. For Joel, respect was very important, especially from women.

Joel’s cold eyes bore into you, expecting nothing less than complete submission.

“Good night, uncle Tommy.”, you whispered. “Thanks for bringing me home.”

"You're welcome, sweetheart," Tommy replied politely.

Tommy watched with a mixture of fascination and pity. To him, it was a cruel spectacle, watching you submit so completely. Joel had molded you into his perfect vision of a compliant, obedient girl, and it was both disturbing and impressive.

Well, Tommy knew you weren’t that obedient…after all you still had the guts to lie to Joel and kiss other boys behind his back.

Joel nodded, satisfied for the moment. "Good. Now go to your room. We’ll discuss your punishment later."

You rushed inside but stopped at the stairs, hidden behind the corner, so to be able to hear their conversation.

Joel set his gun aside. "Thanks for looking out for her, Tommy."

"She's family," Tommy said with a smile, though Joel didn't suspect the secret hidden behind that smile.

"Just do me a favor, brother," Tommy began. "Don't be too hard on the girl. If I hadn't held her up, she would've made it home on time."

Joel nodded, his expression stern. "You know how they are. Without consequences, they never learn from their mistakes."

Tommy's smile remained, but there was a glint in his eye that Joel missed. "True, but she's just a kid. Give her a chance to prove herself."

Joel grunted, dismissing the plea with a wave of his hand. "Girls need discipline. Without it, they get ideas. And ideas lead to trouble."

Even before the apocalypse, Joel had been an old-fashioned man. He firmly believed that "women are meant to be seen, not heard." The chaos of the apocalypse had only cemented his convictions, hardening his already rigid views.

„Night, Brother.“

„Good night, Tommy.“

As you stood there, listening to their exchange, you couldn't help but feel a pang of dread. You rushed up the stairs.

———

You were frantically wiping the lipstick off your trembling lips. Joel could never find out what had really happened that night. Never.

You heard the heavy thud of his boots walk up the stairs. You quickly started stripping off your clothes, knowing that this was what Joel would’ve expected from you. Jacket first, then your top, and finally your skirt. Now, completely naked, you sprawled across the bed, your upper body pressed against the sheets, legs dangling off the edge, and your bare backside exposed. Your heart pounded with adrenaline, each beat echoing in your ears. Desperation mixed with fear as you clasped your hands together, beginning to pray to god for mercy just as your biological father had taught you.

You remembered Joel’s cruel words the first time he’d caught you pray: “I am your god now.”

The door creaked open, and the first thing Joel saw was your exposed ass. The room seemed to hold its breath as he stepped in. The air was thick with the scent of your sweat and fear.

You could feel his gaze burning into your skin.

Your mind raced, searching for a way to make him go easy on you.

“I’m sorry for being late, dad.”, you pressed out. “It will never happen again.”

"Oh, I know," Joel finally said, his voice low, it made your skin crawl. "Ya will not leave ma house after sunset. Ya can't handle yourself out there."

"What? No! That's totally unfair!" you wanted to shout, but a sense of self-preservation clamped your lips shut. You knew arguing with Joel was pointless. Once he made up his mind, there was no changing it.

Silence hung heavily between you.

Joel's footsteps were deliberate as he crossed the room. You could feel his dominating presence behind you. His shadow swallowing the dim light of the room. His hand reached out, fingers brushing against your ass with a possessive familiarity that sent a shiver down your spine. It was sick how much he enjoyed this. And no matter what he did to you he could tell you were not completely broken yet, there was still fire behind those scared eyes.

"Ya know I still need to punish ya?”, Joel said knowing damn well that he didn’t need to—but he wanted to punish you.

"Lie on your back on the bed," he commanded, and you complied without a word of protest.

Your heart raced as you lay flat on the bed, eyes widening when you saw the straps in Joel's hand. They could only mean one thing: he intended to bind you to the bed…

Your breath hitched as he took your wrists, securing them to the bedframe with practiced ease. Memories of the past flooded back—times when you had fought him fiercely, screaming and thrashing, trying to push him away. But you hadn't done that in a long time. Confusion grew inside you.

"I won't fight you," you pleaded softly, hoping to avoid the restraints. "You don't need to tie me up, dad."

Joel's eyes met yours, a flicker of something—doubt, maybe?—crossing his gaze. But it was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by his usual stoic determination. He finished his task methodically, only stepping back once he was satisfied with his work.

The thing he had planned to do to you was something he’d never done before. He had only seen a raider do it to a female prisoner once…

Your wrists ached slightly from the tightness of the straps.

"Do’ya know why I'm going to punish ya?" Joel's words were dripping with the promise of pain.

You nodded, tears welling up from your eyes. "You will punish me for coming home late. I'm sorry, Dad."

"Ya need to understand your place," he growled, his eyes boring into yours. "Since we got to Jackson, you've been acting up. Thinkin ya free to do whatever. Thinkin ya don't need me no more."

"No, I need you, Dad. I need you. I love you, Daddy," you sniffled. The last thing you wanted was for Joel to think so bad of you.

Joel's expression softened for a brief moment, but then his eyes hardened again. "Let me tell ya somethin," he said, his voice carrying the weight of bitter experience. "I've seen safe zones and camps fall that were much bigger than Jackson. This place is a goddamn joke. The people here are soft. Once this place burns to the ground, who do ya think will take care of ya ass?"

"You will, Dad."

"Damn right," he muttered, his voice a mix of anger and possessiveness. He leaned in closer, his face inches from yours. "You think these people can protect ya? They can't. They're weak. I'm the only one who can keep you safe."

His words cut deep. You felt a fresh wave of tears spill over, your body trembling with the weight of his expectations and the fear of his anger. If coming home late made Joel this angry, what would he do if he ever found out what you really did tonight?

"I'm sorry, Daddy," you whispered again, hoping to appease him. "I won't disobey you ever again.”

Joel's big rough hand cupped your chin, lifting your face so you had no choice but to meet his gaze. "Ya better not," he said, his voice softening just a fraction. "You're my responsibility. And I won't let anything happen to ya. But ya have to follow my rules. Understand?"

You nodded, the fear and love you felt for him mingling into a confusing mess of emotions. You needed to hate him but loving him was much easier.

Joel released your chin and stepped back.

"Good," he said finally. "Now, remember this. Without me, you're nothing. Don't ever forget that."

“Without you I’m nothing.”, you repeated.

Joel rummaged through his pocket and pulled out a small jar. In his large hands, the tiny container looked almost comical. Inside was a homemade, gray paste.

"What is that?" you asked, your voice trembling.

"Your punishment, Joel murmured, unscrewing the lid. He sniffed the contents, the sharp and bitter scent filling the room.

You had no idea what it was, but dread coiled in your stomach.

"Show me your cunt“ he ordered.

Skepticism flickered in your eyes, but you knew better than to disobey. Slowly, you parted your legs, exposing yourself to whatever he had planned.

You’d the most perfect little cunt he’d ever seen. Even after everything he’d put it through, it was still artwork. For a moment he thought about fucking your cunt first before punishing you—a thought he quickly dismissed. He was already tired and needed to wake up early in the morning for patrol.

He dipped his fingers into the paste, and a chill ran down your spine as he approached your exposed vagina. The substance glistened ominously in the dim light.

He knelt between your legs, the air thick with tension. He loved the smell of your cunt. "This is to remind ya of your place," he said, his voice a low growl.

The first touch of the paste on your skin burned, and you bit back a scream, tears springing to your eyes.

But the pain spread like a wildfire, a relentless fire that seemed to pierce through your very being.

„OUCH!! Ah!! No stop!“, You writhed against the restraints.

"Stay still, he commanded, his voice cold and devoid of mercy. "You brought this on yourself."

„P-please, ahhhh!!! Make it stop, dad, please!“, you screamed your lungs out. It was unlike anything you’ve ever felt in your life.

"Let this be a lesson," he said finally, standing up and wiping his hands. "Next time, think twice before breaking any of my rules."

Joel stepped back to admire his handiwork.

You lay there, naked and bound to the bed, your cunt completely smeared with the thick, gray paste. You were sobbing and screaming in agony, the sound of your desperate cries echoing off the walls.

For a brief moment, Joel worried someone might hear your tortured pleas, but the nearest house was Tommy's.

You thrashed against the restraints, tears streaming down your face as you begged for mercy. "Please, Dad, please help me! It hurts so much!"

"The pain will fade soon," Joel said, his voice unnervingly calm. He watched you struggle. The sight of you in such distress brought a flicker of doubt to his mind, but he quickly pushed it aside. This was for your own good, he told himself. You needed to learn. He was also hard as a fucking brick but he knew better than to bring his cock anywhere near the paste.

Tomorrow, he told himself.

„Good night.“, he said and left you there, bound and suffering. He closed the door behind him.

„Noo, daddy please don’t leave me daddy!“, you screamed but the door had already fallen shut.

Now you lay there in excruciating pain, and all you could think about was how much you hated Tommy. This was all his fault. If Tommy hadn't caught you fooling around with Dean, you wouldn't have come home late, and Joel wouldn't have punished you. The anger towards Tommy burned almost as intensely as the paste on your cunt.

Each breath was a struggle, each movement a reminder of your helplessness.

Eventually, exhaustion began to overtake the pain. Your body, pushed to its limits, sought refuge in sleep. Your eyelids grew heavy, the room around you blurring into darkness. Your mind started to drift, the need for rest overpowering the torment.

In your final moments of consciousness, a single tear slipped down your cheek. As sleep claimed you, you felt sad, hurt, and furious at your uncle for betraying you like this. You had always thought Tommy was a kind man, but now you knew the truth.

———

The next day, you jolted awake, the horrors of the previous night still fresh in your mind.

Despite the hours of sleep, exhaustion clung to your bones. You noticed your hands were no longer bound to the bed, and the grey paste had been cleaned off your swollen, raw skin.

Joel must have come into your room early in the morning and taken care of it.

Your intimate area was still red, swollen, and throbbing with pain, but you knew you had to push through it.

Joel didn’t just expect from you to be his little sex puppy. There was also a list of chores you had to do while he was at work, patrolling or working on construction aides around Jacksonville. A few of your chores were: laundry, dusting, and preparing dinner.

After his shift, he would be tired and hungry, and he demanded a hot meal ready.

You were peeling potatoes in the kitchen when a sudden knock at the door startled you. A glance at the clock told you it was too early for Joel to be home.

Wiping your hands on your t-shirt, you hobbled to the door, each step sending waves of pain through your body. You had tried icing your cunt with snow all morning, but nothing seemed to help.

Unaware of what awaited, you opened the door, and your blood ran cold as you saw who stood on the other side.

Uncle Tommy.

Fear and anger surged through you, and you instinctively tried to slam the door shut. But Tommy was faster, jamming his foot in the doorframe to stop it from closing.

He laughed, a cruel, mocking sound. "Now, is that any way to greet your uncle? What would Joel say if he saw this?"

Your heart pounded in your chest, rage and terror battling for dominance. Tommy's presence was a cruel reminder of who was to blame for the previous night's punishment.

"Joel isn’t at home." you said, trying to keep your voice steady, hoping that this information was enough to make the man leave.

Tommy's grin widened, and he leaned closer, his dark brown eyes gleaming with amusement. "I just came to check on my favorite niece. Heard you had a rough night."

Your stomach churned, and you fought the urge to scream. "I’m fine. Now leave me alone, please.”

Tommy's expression darkened, you’d never spoken this dismissively with him. He pushed the door open wider, forcing you to step back. "You better watch your tone, girl. Remember, I know all your little secrets. My brother wouldn’t like hearing about what you were up to last night."

The threat hung heavy in the air, and you knew he was right. One word from Tommy and Joel would unleash his fury all over again. You swallowed hard, the taste of fear bitter on your tongue. "What do you want?" you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper.

Tommy stepped inside, closing the door behind him. "Just a little chat," he said, his tone deceptively casual. "We need to make sure you understand how things work around here."

He casually walked into the living room, glancing around as if he owned the place, before collapsing onto the couch.

He threw a look towards the kitchen. "see you're preparing dinner," Tommy said. "Hope I'm not interrupting. What's on the menu?"

"Mashed potatoes and chicken," you replied, feeling foolish for answering such a mundane question. M

Tommy's grin widened with amusement. "What a good little cook you are for my brother. He's lucky to have found such a talented little thing like you."

"What do you want here?" you demanded, trying to keep your voice steady.

Tommy leaned back and spread his legs, making himself comfortable. "Oh, I'm just curious. Tell me how my brother punished you last night," he said, eyes gleaming with a mixture of interest and malice. He had obviously noticed your limping and could only imagine what twisted punishment Joel had come up with.

Your hands clenched into fists at your sides, fighting the tears that threatened to spill over. "He burned me," you finally whispered, voice cracking. "And it's all your fault!”

Confusion flickered across Tommy's face.

Mutilation just for being 15 minutes late? That seemed too extreme, even for Joel.

You walked over to the small table behind the dining area and grabbed the jar of gray paste. "He smeared this on me," you said, your voice shaking with a mix of anger and pain. "It burned like fire!”

Tommy took the jar from you and sniffed it, recognition flashing in his eyes. "Chili and ginger," he chuckled darkly. "That twisted bastard…”

You stared at him, confusion mingling with your anger. "How…how do you know that?"

Tommy leaned back, holding the jar up. "Years ago, me and Joel ran with a pretty nasty raider gang….They had a particular method for breaking captives—female captives. This paste was one of their favorites.”

"That sounds…that sounds horrible," you whispered, horrified of the thought.

Tommy nodded, his expression serious for once. "Yeah, it was. Can't believe Joel would use this method on ya to be honest.”

You felt a wave of shame and anger. "And now you're here, rubbing it in my face?", you sniffed and looked down biting your tongue.

Tommy shrugged, his grin returning. "You've been acting up since we got here. Joel's only doing what he thinks is best.”

"That’s not true!" you snapped, tears finally spilling over. "I am not acting up. I got home late because of you-“

“No? So I didn’t caught you in a lie last night?”, he interrupted you. “You lied to Joel to make out with that Dean kid, like a little slut. And you are fucking his brother…Sounds pretty much like acting up to me., Tommy's eyes gleamed with a mix of amusement and cruelty.

Your hands trembled, anger bubbling up inside you. "I…I’m not…I’m not fucking you. You blackmailed me into having sex with you.”

Tommy scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Come on, I know what rape looks like. I fucked you good—nice and hard—you enjoyed yourself, didn't ya? ‘Came like a fucking bitch around my cock."

You shook your head vehemently, tears streaming down your face. "I-I-I didn't! It was…it was against my will."

Tommy's smirk grew. "Oh, don't cry, sweetheart. Ya just a little slut that needs cock, and Joel knows that. Why do you think he treats you like his personal whore, mh?“

"'m not his plaything!" you shouted, desperation in your voice. "I'm his...I’m his daughter.”

Now Tommy let out a loud deep genuine laugh. He was quiet impressed with how naive you were. “Because you call him daddy?”

“I-I…”

"Do you know who Sarah is?" Tommy suddenly asked. "Did Joel ever tell you about her?"

You froze, caught off guard by the question. "I once went through Joel's bag and found a picture of a girl with 'Sarah' written on the back," you admitted. You had no idea who the girl was or why Joel kept the photo, and you had never dared to ask him about it.

"She was his daughter," Tommy said, his tone uncharacteristically somber. "She was killed right at the start of all this. Her death changed Joel."

The weight of Tommy’s words hung heavy in the air. You had always sensed there was a darkness in Joel, a wound that had never healed. You also understood what Tommy was trying to tell you with this information: you could never replace Sarah.

Tommy leaned in closer, his voice a low whisper. "Face it, sweetheart, you're nothing more than a toy for him to use and abuse."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you breathless and shaking.

“He showed you last night how easy it is for him to hurt you. Ya think he would do that to his daughter?”, Tommy laughed once again. “Do you want my advice?”

You nodded, totally defeated still thinking about Sarah.

"Don't piss him off, or the flesh on your bones will be his next meal," Tommy said, his voice dripping with menace.

Your eyes widened in shock. Was he being literally…? Would Joel really…?

"And do you know what would really piss Joel off?" Tommy continued, a cruel smile playing on his lips. "Hearing about watcha did last night. Kissing boys and screwing his brother—Sure, he'd be mad at me too, but you wouldn't be the first bitch we've shared."

You felt a chill run down your spine. The implications of Tommy's words were terrifying.

Tommy leaned closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "You think Joel's been rough on you? You have no idea what he's capable of when he's truly angry. And if he finds out about last night... well, let's just say you'll wish you'd never been born.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, the fear and humiliation overwhelming. You could barely breathe as Tommy stood up, towering over you, his grin widening. "S’okey, sweetheart. He won’t find out, my lips are sealed. But you know what I want from you in return?”

You nodded looking down. This felt like an inescapable nightmare. You were trapped.

“You do what I say and my brother will never know about your little shenanigans. Alright?”

You nodded.

“Nah, sweetheart. Words.”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.”

Tommy smiled. “No, you like playing house so much with Joel, so let’s keep playing pretend. I’m ya uncle, am I not?”

You nodded. “Yes. Uncle Tommy.”

“Good little girl. So go down on your knees. Don’t worry I’ll not touch your little burned cunt. But I’m going to use that mouth of yours.”

You went down on your knees.

"We've got plenty of time before Joel gets home," Tommy said, his voice low and menacing as he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans. He stepped out of his pants and sat back down on the couch, spreading his legs wide and propping one foot up on the table. With a rough grip, he grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked you closer to his balls.

"Let's see how well you can follow orders," he sneered, pulling your face towards his balls. The look in his eyes was predatory, a twisted mix of dominance and cruel amusement.

Your heart pounded in your chest.

“Start by eating my ass and work yourself up. A nice wet blowjob s’all I want. Surely my brother trained your mouth well enough for you to not fuck this up?”

You blinked in confusion. “Eating…eating your ass?”

Tommy laughed at your confused face. He understood immediately. “What? You never rimmed Joel’s ass? Seriously? Oh how nasty of me? Well, kiddo, it’s not rocket science. All ya have to do is to poke your little tongue in and out my asshole n give it a few nice licks.”

You twisted your face in disgust, making Tommy laugh again. His dick was rock hard. “Don’t act all virgin, babygirl. The clock is ticking, Joel be home in an hour, let’s make this quick.”

Realizing there was no escaping this nightmare, you closed your eyes. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming, and you could feel the tears streaming down your face, hot and relentless. With a shuddering breath, you leaned in, spreading Tommy's ass-cheeks with both your hands as he smirked down at you.

"That's it, be a good girl," he taunted, his voice dripping with cruel satisfaction. His hand remained tangled in your hair, guiding you with an iron grip.

You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to comply. You stick your tongue out and gave his asshole a lick. The taste was repugnant, and every fiber of your being screamed to pull away, to fight back, but you knew it was useless. You pushed your tongue as deep as you could, trying to numb your mind to the horror of it all. The musky taste mingled with your tears, each second feeling like an eternity. Your tongue was too small to reach very deep but Tommy pressed you face down as much as he could, making you hiccup while crying and trying to perform.

Tommy's laugh echoed above you, a sound that sent chills down your spine. "You're doing so well. Maybe I just tell Joel to make you rim him too?”

You shook your head, no. Much to Tommys amusement.

Your tongue could feel every hair that grew around your his asshole and the thought alone of what you were doing to this man was enough to make you gag.

“Keep the gagging for when I fuck your mouth, sweetheart.”

“Tell me how much you like eating your uncles ass, babygirl.”, he said and yanked your face away from his ass.

You took a breath and murmured in between cries “I love eating my uncles ass so much!”

“Good job, keep going then put that tongue to work.”

After he was satisfied with your work on his ass, he grabbed your face and led his cock in between your lips. He fucked your mouth, quick and fast.

You were like a lifeless puppet under his grip. Your head bobbling back and forth, back and forth to the rhythm he was leading. Seeing you struggling to eat his ass had made Tommy nearly cum by itself, so it didn’t take him long to leave a big load in your throat.

He finally released his grip on your hair, and you collapsed to the floor, your body trembling. Gasping for breath, you could taste the remnants of your ordeal on your lips, the salt of your tears mixed with the nasty taste of shame. Tommy leaned back into the couch, a satisfied smirk on his face as he casually put his pants back up.

You lay there on the cold, hard floor, feeling utterly broken. The room was spinning. Every breath felt like it took immense effort, each one punctuated by a sob you tried to stifle.

"Good girl," Tommy drawled, his voice dripping with condescension. "You really are something special. Joel's lucky to have you."

The casual cruelty in his words cut deep. You wanted to scream, to lash out, but your body was too exhausted to move.

Tommy stretched, his demeanor completely relaxed, as if what just happened was the most natural thing in the world. “I’ll be back for more, sweetheart. ," he said, standing up and looking down at you with a twisted sense of satisfaction.

The weight of his words pressed down on you, suffocating.

Tommy paused at the doorway, glancing back one last time. "Clean yourself up before Joel gets back. Wouldn't want him to see you like this, would we?"

A new wave of fear washed over you. What if Joel came home and saw you like this? What if he blamed you for what happened?

With that, he was gone, leaving you alone in the oppressive silence. You forced yourself to sit up.

You stumbled to the bathroom, desperate to wash away the filth and the shame. The reflection in the mirror was almost unrecognizable, eyes red and swollen, face streaked with tears. You scrubbed your skin until it was raw, the hot water doing little to soothe the burning inside. When you were done you went straight back to the kitchen a kept preparing dinner as if nothing had happened.

[tsukimefuku]

don’t get too scared, or else you’ll moan :: satoru gojo

You and your boyfriend decide to go to the movies for Halloween, and things get a little out of hand — or on it, you might say. His hand.

content warning: MDNI. fem!reader, exhibitionism, public, fingering, use of popcorn bucket as decoy, muffling sounds with sloppy kissing. Somewhat proofread.

wc: 840ish

notes etc: a small contribution for the kinky spooky season, hehe. I'm slowly putting a dent into the smutty drabbles prompts, will tackle a few more this upcoming week

“Can you be good for me?”

Satoru's whispered purr came with a hint of mockery to it, and you held on the armrest for dear life with one hand, while the other plastered all over your mouth to prevent any squeak from escaping and denouncing your less than appropriate lewd activities to every other person in the vicinity.

The shit-eating grin he had on his face and his twinkling azure eyes under the dimly lit movie theater gave you half a mind to slap him - that is, if you could think.

The seats were mostly empty as a B-grade horror movie flashed through the screen, but you hadn’t paid much attention to what was happening on the screen. Not when Satoru was knuckle-deep into your drenched, slick folds and you did your absolute best to bite down every sound involuntarily bubbling up your throat.

“What… d-do you mean…?” you managed to strangle out under your breath, your voice rasp and hurried before your words had the chance to become a needy whimper.

It was an arduous task.

Satoru curled his fingers inside you, his rough digits pressing over your sensitive spot intently, which had you jumping in surprise. The bucket of popcorn that was over your lap almost got tossed on the ground, and some of your neurons were still functional enough for you to grab it before it fell with prickling, quivery hands.

“You have to hold the popcorn, pretty girl,” he cooed lowly, leaning close enough for his breath to fan over your earlobe, “or else we might have an accident.” Satoru followed his remark with a tiny chuckle, and was clearly deriving a huge amount of fun to have you an absolute mess of bated moans and trembling muscles, every tiny falter to keep yourself afloat a small victory to him. Even if the uncomfortable strain in his own slacks was growing more intense by the second.

You struggled to keep your eyes open and directed at the screen while his fingers worked their way inside you, their ridges massaging you from within, pumping and prodding purposefully all around your favorite spots.

By this point, you had already made a complete mess of slick dripping in between your thighs, over your panties - which were haphazardly pushed aside -, his palm and the part of your skirt you were still sitting on.

You wondered how the hell you’d manage to leave the movie theater like that, but the pleasure was more than enough to keep your mortification at bay, at least for now.

The bastard sat completely unfazed by your side, staring straight ahead as he pretended to watch The Evil Something 3 while his hand was shoved up your cunt, pistoning his fingers into you like there was no tomorrow.

Eventually you just gave up on trying to pretend watching the movie, resting your face over his shoulder, letting out a sequence of tiny gasps and pleas of his name that Satoru was sure to drink in pridefully.

A familiar heat began to prickle its way down your body, and tightened down all over your abdomen. With a sense of urgency, you drew your face upwards to look at him, your skin covered with a thin coat of glistening sweat as you realized in dread you wouldn't be able to bite down this.

"S-satoru... I-I'm..." you tried, as your walls fluttered and clenched around his fingers, while the bumpy ridges of his fingertips brought you closer and closer to the edge.

"And you can't keep it down?" he cooed playfully, his voice more sultry than he expected it to come out, as he leaned his face over to meet yours. His eyes gazed at you the way you'd expect him to look upon receiving his favorite candy as a gift.

In this case, your sweet, pretty sounds.

"Moan into my mouth then."

You didn't have time to answer. In a few seconds, you were cumming all over his hand, and your moans got muffled by his tongue, that he unceremoniously shoved into your mouth and intertwined in yours. You were at least spared the small mercy of your high coinciding with an incredibly loud jumpscare moment, that in exchange also robbed other people of screams and curses - just about enough for you two to not draw much attention towards your lewd activities.

Slowing his pace, he finally pulled his hand from the middle of your thighs, and didn't break eye contact as he put his fingers over his tongue to lick away your candied slick. You swore you came a little just from the sight of it.

Limp and spent, you let your full body weight rest on him, and Satoru welcomed you into his warmth with an arm around your shoulders.

"What is going on now?" you inquired out of breath, asking him about the movie.

"As if I would know," he chirped, kissing the top of your head as you proceeded to finish watching a movie none of you had watched the first forty minutes of.

written by tsukimefuku ㋡ comments and reblogs are appreciated. do not copy, translate or repost. copycatting is for losers.

[b4tracha]

How They Acted During Your First Time | OT8 x Male Reader

Hello! This was requested a long time ago, but I got busy. I've said this before, but I'm a CNA + a full-time nursing major. I applied to my nursing program recently, so I had to focus on school first before writing again. However, my semester ended on yesterday, so expect more of me! Enjoy<3

Bang Chan

Bang Chan shows off his body a lot, but he is still an extremely shy person. If you throw intimacy in the mix, he gets 10 times worse. He would probably cry a little, to be honest. Not because it's too much or he's sensitive, but because he's a little scared. You would need to reassure Chan a lot as well.

Lee Know

Unlike most of the members, Minho did not spend his teenage years as a trainee. That means he was able to explore his sexuality more than his band mates. He wasn't too shy during your first time because he has done it before, it's just been awhile. However, you had great chemistry and it was easy to fall in the rhythm of things.

Changbin

Changbin shocked you when you realized how shy he was when it came to sex. You both had a deep conversation on what would happen, how it would happen, the perfect setting and mood. Yet when the day came, he could only fumble on his words when you asked him a question. His jutdae may not reach the bedroom..

Hyunjin

Unlike Seungmin, Hyunjin did not want to plan it out. Hyunjin is a known romantic. If he planned it out, he felt as if it was less sincere. His first time with someone was something Hyunjin fantasized about. It was so intimate. Those said fantasies would pay off in the end, if you know what I mean.

HAN

Jisung is a nerd. He knows it, too. He would need to research sex a lot before he would be comfortable enough to do it. Even then, it's not enough. During your first time, he would curl up and hide behind his hands each time something happened. You'd probably have to reassure him frequently in case he gets too overwhelmed.

Felix

Of course, Felix knows how it works. Unlike the other members, he had much easier access to things like porn. He could already point out what he liked, disliked, or something he could try in the future. However, that doesn't mean he knows what he's doing. Porn is nothing like real life! At times, you would have to help him figure things out because he felt like his mind would just go blank randomly.

Seungmin

He was the one to bring up the idea to you. Almost like a checklist, he sat you down and told you everything he wanted and didn't want. It may seem odd to people, but Seungmin was a person who liked to write things down and figure it out. Due to this, he has an easier time during sex. He felt like he had control and thats what he needed.

I.N

Jeongin always gets what he wants. This also applies to sex. Not in a dominant or submissive way, per se, people just live giving the youngest what he desires. He asked for it and you gave it to him. However, that doesn't mean his ears weren't a bright red, and he would look away when you looked at him for too long.

[k2ntoss]

Like...

Jason makes love and just fuck rough just sometimes... but he loves making love, not just a thing to pleasure, but for the feeling, for loving his girl... it's a intimacy thing...

I don't he him as a abuser... a guy that don't ask for permission even if it's just a look in her eyes

Sorry for felling up ur inbox with my sad and horrified ass

Love u!

MORE THAN YOU KNOW !! JASON TODD

request for this pretty girl and for me happy 3 months after my concert i'm emotional and too attached to that event i'm not even sorry!!!

t/w ⭒ SMUT!!! a little bit of angst and so but mostly some kind of fluffy smut and also... john constantine's sidekick!reader, i'm not even sorry but i have to do this

word count ⭒ don't know i've slept like 4 hours in two days so here you have this made with love and pouring my raw feelings on it

song ⭒ more than you know - blink-182

things had always been a little harder for jason, after all that's what he always expects from life so the punches sometimes hurt less but there's always something or someone that holds the power to make everything hurt worse than hell. how can he explain it? if he has always struggled with his feelings, after being left down over and over again he built walls to protect himself and pushed away whoever tried to come closer.

he didn't knew if he had to curse or thank for the day he met you. little cocky bastard that somehow connected with him from the very start, that understood him on a level that scared jason to death but he would never say it out loud, that would let you grip his throat and leave him helpless because his heart was open wide for you.

it was sad you didn't knew it and he didn't knew either if you felt the same things for him. he knew you would be there for him and so would he do for you, jason knew he had everything he lacked in your presence. you made him feel things he had never voiced because he didn't knew why and the day you started to find the way to voice the things you had bottled up he felt a little left behind.

"i- look, it's hard but i have to grow a pair and say it, jay... i want us to be different, to work a little more on whatever we are because i feel like i need more and more from you and honestly it scares me more than anything" the sudden confession feels alien for you, jason feels like he has been kicked in the face because this is not what he had expected. you always hid yourself underneath halfhearted confessions, never your real deep feelings.

"what do you mean?" the question slips past his lips before he can really think about it and the small flash of disappointment that crosses your face makes his chest ache. how can he put his words out for you? it's almost impossible to see himself saying it outloud, it was a sickening need to protect himself even if he knew you could never hurt him.

"i mean... i don't really feel like i know what you feel for me, i feel like i've been left with nothing at it freaks me out to feel you can leave me to die if i ever lose you" the words from your mouth now sound strained and realization downs on him. it's heavy, the knowledge that you felt the same fear he felt, the way you had let him hold youe life on his hands until the point that losing him would shatter you to pieces.

the lump on his throat subsided, the way you had finally voiced your fear made jason find his own grasp on what he felt. he felt like he had been cursed, his life was a constant fall as if he was sinking like a rock but there was also something else when you were around and even if neither of you had ever said it the feeling was there, deep and rooted in your hearts and it was too hard to say it out loud, love wasn't something you had ever experienced in conventional ways during life.

"why do you poison yourself with the thought i won't love you to death?" the question slip with an ease he had never felt before and the surprise in your face made it all worthy. it wasn't just giving you the power to burn him to ashes, it was giving himself the permission to lean on you, to indulge him to have a ray of light even if he sunk down further "i know i've never said it before, i've never told you how i really feel but trust me it's more than you'd ever know"

he had reached to you, his hand gently brushing a strand of hair out of your face as he leaned closer to press a soft kiss to the corner of your lips. the contact was so simple and light but yet so intimate it made you close your eyes, his hand hovering over your jaw before settling on the side of your neck as you closed your eyes.

"i feel like i shouldn't be trying at all, jay... but i just know i need you with me" your whisper made him sigh and it was all he needed to hear. his lips pressed against yours in a slow and deep kiss, jason cupping your face tenderly as you held onto his shoulders while leaning in across the distance between you in the small couch on jason's safe house.

the tender touch of his calloused hands against your face was a stark contrast, to wounded souls merging into one as he caressed your sides slowly pulling you closer to him. drinking you in like a man starving because he was giving in to you. the weight of your body making him aware of the fact that he had pulled you into his lap and breaking the kiss he looked up at you with adoration.

"can i...?" he asked, trailing off as he saw the same resolve in your eyes. you were just giving in to him, letting yourself be totally vulnerable for him to either take care of you or destroy you completely. that same resolve and trust made jason decide he would always protect you, even from himself even if it meant changing his whole being because he knew it was the least he could do for the person that was willing to do the same for him.

a silent nod from you was enough. his hands wandering across your body to free your figure from the fabric of your clothes, his eyes taking in every detail as his hands caressed every dip and curve of your body, your hands doing the very same on him as your lips lavished his neck, jaw and shoulders with tender and lingering kisses.

jason held your waist, slowly picking you up as he kissed your neck while walking to his room in long strides filled with purpose until he was able to lay you down, placing you gently on his bed and looking down at you with adoration and need. he knelt on the bed, his large frame hovering over yours as he leaned in to kiss a trail from your neck down to the middle of your chest, feeling your hands on the back of his head.

words weren't needed, the way jason looked at you as he settled between your legs was everything you needed to know what he felt and thought, the absolute trust he was putting on you mirroing yours. it was the first time he felt sure he wouldn't be betrayed or disappointed by someone he felt he needed as much as he needed air.

"jay..." the murmured call of his name that left your lips made jason shudder and he looked up as his hands caressed your waist and stomach softly, soothing and worshipping you.

"y/n..." he whispered back, moving until his face was next to yours and he pressed a soft kiss to your temple "are you sure?" the question was soft and even if he felt like he couldn't resist it another second without feeling you around him he held back. wanting to make this as special as he could.

"i'm sure" you whispered against his jaw, lips ghosting over his skin and with that confirmation he kissed your lips firmly as he sunk into you, a slow and steady stroke to settle between your warm walls. the overwhelming feeling stronger because of all the feelings poured in your words.

a low growl escaped his throat, his face hidden against your neck as you held onto his shoulders, face nuzzled into his hair as a low and soft moan escaped your lips at the first jerk of his hips. the pace was gentle and passionate, his lips peppering your shoulders in kisses and soft nibbles as your nails drew patterns on his back.

the breathless moans and grunst filling the room slowly turned into needy whimpers and low groans as jason picked up the pace, his hands gripping your waist and even if everything got more heated there was still that look of adoration on jason as he looked down at you.

and just like before. words weren't needed, all the feelings that had been poured at the start were loud and clear in the way jason let go off your wais to hold your hands, your legs wrapped around his hips as your fingers intertwined, gasps and soft kisses between each stroke that made his hips snap against yours until your body tensed.

he looked down at you again, leaning in to press a kiss to each of your closed eyes and then on your forehead and one deep thrust made you crumble apart underneath him. your body clenching around his as you moaned loudly made jason groan "jason!" and the sound of your voice was enough, his grip on your hands tightening.

a low growl of your name was all you heard in the moment he reached his own peak, his release spilled inside you in a jerk of his hips against you and the intensity of it all made you whimper silently against his chest.

"i love you, jay..." you whispered as he released your hands, his arms moving to wrap around your waist as you hugged his neck tightly and he chuckled tenderly.

"i love you too..." he muttered. days ago he would have said he didn't had highs but he had some lows but having you was definetly a high. he belonged there, right into your arms.

[afurtivecake]

You know what my actual favourite Andrew Minyard line in the whole series is? It's not his sentimental lines like, "...from now until May you are still Neil Josten...". It's not even the best love confession in all of literature line, "Doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you." It's when he says "I'm not as smart as I thought I was."

That one line tells you so much about Andrew's character. That's the line that spells out for the reader that Andrew is smarter than he chooses to let on. That's the line that shows you just highly Andrew thinks of his own intelligence and how much he's been relying on it to survive and to keep his promises.

Consider that up until that point Andrew has presented himself with nothing less than the domineering kind of toughness you'd expect to see in a prison scene in a movie. He openly talks about breaking Neil, threatens multiple people with knives and makes everyone work around him. His "tough guy around town" persona and his ability to inflict violence is clearly something he prizes. AND YET. The first time he admits to any kind of dissatisfaction with himself, it's about his intelligence.

That is the point where the reader realizes that Andrew, in his own mind, is an intellectual. He doesn't actually pride himself on being the toughest guy in the room. He's aware that he's all of 5-feet-nothing and he knows at any given moment there's likely to be someone bigger and stronger than he is. What he's counting on in any given situation is being the smartest guy in the room. Fix any issues before they worsen, anticipate and eliminate any threats before they surface, think his way out of any problem that comes up. His intelligence is what he relies on to keep his promises.

That's the moment Andrew realizes that he's been letting his feelings get the better of his logic. He clocks Neil as dangerous from day one. But he's been telling himself that he's letting Neil stay for Kevin's sake or at least just until he can definitively prove Neil is dangerous. But the real reason he let Neil stay and get away with all his sketchy behaviour is because he let the fact that he likes Neil as a person, overcome his logic.

It makes you think, OH, THAT'S WHY Andrew was so interested in Neil in the first place. For someone who prides himself on his intelligence and KNOWS that no one else can match his smarts, Neil figuring out his twin switcheroo trick is the same as Neil throwing down the gauntlet and challenging him to a battle of wits. Andrew keeps trying to trip Neil up and Neil keeps batting his attempts aside and Andrew ends up helplessly charmed by Neil. Because Andrew LIKES that Neil is able to outsmart him sometimes, that Neil is his intellectual equal. And somewhere along the way, he's let himself forget that he "knows better" than to get emotionally attached, than to let someone else best him at his best quality- than to act like every other idiot in love that he's ever met.

You then realize that Andrew hasn't once thought of himself as brawny jock. That off-putting delinquent/school-shooter vibe and "psycho" reputation is a carefully calculated form of self-defense. It's self-defense in the literal sense of scaring off people who might want to fuck with him, but perhaps also in the sense of protecting himself from being seen. It makes sense, right? If people were to actually try to get to know him with an open mind, they'd soon discover that he IS difficult to get along with in ways they thought they could handle, but can't. Better to act the volatile asshole than suffer the disappointment of people changing how they treat him. And in the unlikely case that people find out that he isn't as tough as he presents himself, they might pity him. And that would be even worse. Much better to be as un-fuck-with-able as possible.

First time reading the book, I was taken in by Andrew's jock-ish façade. But the moment he admitted maybe he ought to be disappointed in himself for not being as smart as he thought he was, I had to set the book down and rethink every assumption I had made about Andrew as a character. The timing of that revelation is so perfect, because it happens just before the Thanksgiving mess. And so as the reader, you're suddenly coming to terms with the fact that Andrew is so much more vulnerable than he's ever portrayed himself to be at the same time that Andrew is being hit with probably one of the worst moments in his life. Like, that absolutely TOOK ME OUT. Which is why, that's one of the best lines in the whole series to me.

[zoesmp4]

STUPID “love makes you stupid.” carl grimes x walsh!reader

tags: angst, some fluff, violence, blood, 6x9

a/n: omg this req was SO good i am sosososo sorry i couldn’t execute it properly 😭 im not so proud of this one, but i hope its ok!! 

you and carl grimes had been best friends ever since you could walk. you both met when your dad brought you to "bring your kid to work day" down at the station. the scent of coffee and the echo of footsteps filled the air.

it started to seem extremely boring, until a stranger approached you and your dad. you saw a little boy standing next to him, and felt a little less lonely. the man recognized you, though you had no idea who he was. "hi there y/n, this is carl." he introduced.

ever since then, you guys were inseparable. you and carl had a bond which was special, it was like no other. you could be yourself around him, and you could tell carl felt the same. the ease, the comfort, like you didn't have to pretend to be anyone else when you were together.

as expected, seeing him for the first time after the apocalypse started unleashed a unique wave of relief within you. you vividly recall the both of you making eye contact and running toward each other. you hugged each other tightly, as if you'd been separated for years.

"i was so scared!" you said, clutching your doll in your hand. "you don't need to be scared anymore," he reassured. "i'm here to protect you." carl loved to be your knight in shining armor, even when you were young.

through all the dark days, and as you both grew older, you two had always been there for each other. no matter whatever crap life threw at you, you guys stuck together. walker got too close to you? dead.

"i would never let anything happen to you. don't worry." he would always say. he was your closest friend, your ride or die. growing up was hard enough during the apocalypse, but having each other made it bearable.

however, as time passed, you started to feel a different way towards him. you started to feel as if things wouldn't be so bad if you guys were more than friends. actually, it was starting to seem like it was all you could dream of.

you thought it was just a one time thing, but you were dumb to think so. you often found yourself blushing at the thought of him, and when he had caught you daydreaming, let's just say he was curious.

"come on, why can't you just tell me who you like?" he asked, growing more agitated by the second. "shut up, i don't like anyone." you said, rolling your eyes playfully. "bullshit, tell me who it is." he said, looking you in the eye, a grin plastered onto his pretty face.

"nope!" you replied, popping the "p."

carl grimes had stolen your heart, and there was no doubt about it. you knew he had you wrapped around his finger, it was quite obvious when you would stress whenever he got the tiniest injury.

"calm down, it's just a cut." "do you ever shut up?" you would say, reaching for the bandaids on the top shelves of your room. "it's really not as bad as it looks." you knew he was telling the truth, it was never that serious. however, you being you, you couldn't help but worry. 

but now? now it was actually serious. too serious. you felt the panic start to sink in the second you saw ron, a vengeful look on his face, pointing a gun in rick's direction. you froze when you realized who was in standing front of him. it was carl. your carl.

"you." ron said. your heart pounded against your ribs. your breaths were shallow and rapid, as a wave of terror gripped you. surely he wouldn't actually shoot. right? so many possibilities were going through your head at once, it was the worst thing you ever experienced.

fortunately, michonne came in a flash. you jumped slightly when her katana pierced through ron's skin. atleast it was all over now though. rick was alright. carl was alright.

or so you thought.

BANG!

his stupid fucking finger slipped. 

all of your negative thoughts came flooding back into your mind the moment the sound of the gunshot hit your eardrums. however, among all of your worries, there was one most prominent. where did the bullet go?

your eyes darted around before your gaze landed on carl. he had his head down, and when he looked up, it felt as if all the air in your lungs had been sucked out of your body. "dad?" he whimpered out.

he had been shot. in the head. directly into his eyesocket. the amount of blood flowing down his face made you sick to your stomach. it was only a matter of seconds before his body went limp and fell to the ground.

you never knew it was possible to feel this angry. there was no way in hell that just happened, and you couldn't do anything to stop it. it should've been you.

your facial expression contorted into one showing pure horror and anxiety. your eyes widened, tears at the rim, threatening to fall out. you breathed heavily, as you felt anguish and rage twist within you. rick lifted carl into his arms and carried him. that was your cue to pull out your knife.

you and michonne ran in front of rick and carl, killing walkers one by one. you were going ballistic, slashing every walker you possibly could, grunts escaping your mouth with every stab. you were going on a rampage, you weren't even thinking, you were just so enraged. how could you have let that happen to him?

blood splattered across your face, but you barely even noticed. hot tears streamed down your cheeks. each drop carried the weight of frustration and sorrow, their salty taste bitter on your lips. your body started to grow tired, but you kept pushing. dozens of walkers were laying on the ground.

now, the focus was getting carl help. and that's what you wanted. but you just couldn't stop. you were about to plunge your bloody knife into yet another walker, but michonne caught your arm in mid-air.

"that's enough." she said. she noticed how your chest rose and fell at a rapid pace, and the way you looked like you wanted to watch the world burn.

she took the knife from your grasp before putting her hand around your shoulder for a few seconds to calm you down. "we have to hurry." she continued to kill every walker in her sight, one by one. you didn't care that your body hurt like hell, you didn't care about all the blood splattered onto you, you didn't care that you were exhausted.

the only thing you cared about was carl. would he be okay? was this the end? were you gonna lose your other half? your heart ached. you weren't even gonna get to tell him how you felt about him.

after what seemed like hours of running and fighting, you found yourself laying down in the infirmary bed next to carl's. he'd been patched up before you. he was sleeping, and you were glad he was getting the rest he needed.

but every time you looked at him, your chest tightened. he should've never even have to be here. he should've never had to go through that, ever.

daryl had a chair pulled up next to your bed. he was like a father figure to you after shane died. he sighed, wiping your now crimson splattered arms with a wet rag to clean off the blood. "y' used the knife i gave you?" he said, not looking up from your arm. "yeah, it's the best i have."

the silence in the room was so loud. it's not that he was disappointed in you, he was proud you were able to defend yourself. it was the fact that you could've died and you still kept pushing that made him so quiet. he cared about you a lot, and he knew you didn't have to fight so hard, especially at your age.

"why'd you do that?" he asks, finally making eye contact with you. you let out a breath before opening your mouth to speak, "love makes you stupid."

it felt nice, to finally be able to talk to someone about your feelings for the blue eyed boy. after all, you were never gonna tell him, so atleast you could tell someone. "damn right it does." he replied, before lighty ruffling your hair. 

"get some sleep, okay kiddo?" daryl said, wiping the last of the blood off your arms. "yeah, jus- please don't te-" "i won't tell a soul." he cut you off, already knowing what you were gonna ask of him. "thanks." you said, smiling.

little did you know, daryl wasn't the only person who heard your late night confession. a "sleeping" carl stirred in his bed, now facing the wall in the opposite direction of you. perhaps it was the exhaustion getting to you, but you could've sworn you heard a light chuckle.

[allfearstofallto]

Yandere Arlecchino who expected her darling to put up a fight and instead found out they were planning a wedding for the two of them all along or just is like, "yes kidnap me its okay i'll go willingly!"

Out yandere the yandere

She's not crazy if I'm crazy too

Yandere Arlecchino x Fem! Reader

TW: Yandere themes, mentions of stalking

She wasn't surprised to see your home empty. All your things packed away, photos off the walls, clothes no longer in the closet. She wasn't surprised to see that you were gone. You were a smart girl after all, she expected nothing less from you than to be aware that you were being stalked. You must've noticed she was on the move, noticed that she was growing impatient with her lack of you in her life. She scoffed at just how much of your stuff you'd left behind, in so much of a rush that you'd rather leave without it.

What did surprise her was the sound of your door opening again, her heels clicking against the floor as she turned to face…you? A smirk must've formed on her face, but she made herself stifle it. Although the chase would've been nice, the feeling of hunting you down where you stood, this was better. Waltzing into her arms accidentally, not ever being able to get away again.

“Forgot something?” She cooed, crossing her arms over her chest.

But you didn't seem scared. Didn't even make an effort to run away. Arlecchino was aware that she was a stranger in your home. Not just any stranger, but a harbinger. Even if you didn't know who she was, you'd be able to feel the power in her energy, in the way she carried herself, yet you weren't afraid of her. Were you putting on an act? Did you have something planned? Her red eyes stayed on you, pupils never leaving your form, but just awaiting your next move.

“I don't think so,” you looked over the room once more, “I was pretty sure I packed everything.”

“You must've forgotten to leave then,” Arlecchino chuckled, her claw like fingers tapping against her arm, “or do you not realize what I plan to do to you?”

You hummed softly as you walked into the room, past her form. Delicate hands reached into one of the many boxes you had sat to the side. She merely watched you, waiting for the part where you scream or cry, even fight, but instead you lifted a dress bag from inside the box and opened the zipper. White lace and tulle filled her vision. You traced your hands down puffs and ruffles, showing her the rather complicated wedding dress.

She cocked an eyebrow, “You're getting married?”

“Of course, silly,” you said with a playful giggle, taking one of her hands into yours and interlocking her long fingers, “I'm getting married to you!”

[kaijutegu]

I got Kaiju's ashes back. I'm having some of them fused into jewelry. Just having them physically home is a massive weight off of my chest. My heart is still on the ground but it's a little less bad than it was.

There was a comment on one of the recent posts- "The condolences of an internet stranger mean less than nothing." That's not true. That's not true at all. The condolences of internet strangers have been getting me through this- I keep going back and seeing names I recognize, names I don't, and realizing just how much she mattered.

One of the most important things that's keeping me going is her legacy. Kaiju mattered to a lot of people- not just me. She mattered to you. She mattered to my students. She mattered to the people she met at herp society. She mattered to the kids who met her when I took her to schools. She was more than just my best friend- she meant something to a lot of people. She showed people how smart and loving tegus can be, and she also showed them how cunning and adaptable they are. There are people out there who know about the threat of invasives in the Everglades now, because of her. There are people who improved the lives of their own animals because of her. There are little kids and big kids who made real, genuine connections to her.

But it wasn't just the connections she made- I made them too, and figuring out who I am without her in my life is pretty impossible because so much of the good I have in my life came from her. She was my icebreaker, and she was part of how I met people. I started blogging because of her, and because of that, I met some of the people I love most in this world. I wouldn't have ever met two of my very closest friends without her, people I can't imagine not having in my life. She helped me take care of myself on days when I couldn't get out of bed for any other reason, and she never expected anything from me. Having her in my life made me happy in a way that nothing else ever has. I don't know who I am anymore, because I don't want to be the person I was before I had her. As medically miserable as I am now, I used to be a lot worse. She changed that.

Kaiju and I had ten, almost eleven incredible years together. It wasn't enough, but no amount of time would have been. In the end, she died warm, comfortable, and being petted by someone she cared about. She wasn't alone, and didn't seem scared or agitated. The last thing she knew was love, and that's all I could want for her.

For me, I just want my best friend back. I know that's not gonna happen, but it doesn't stop the want.

[phyrestartr]

Prisoner of the Coast | Sukuna x M!Reader (WIP)

#SFW wip, reader is a water dragon, sukuna is a ronin, lore, mythology, there's plot, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, probably sad ending?, AU note: I JUST WANTED TO POST SOMETHING IDK

tags: @kamote-kuneho @prettorett @memedealer-exe @tr4nniez @better-imagination-9 @flowersatwork @memedealer-exe @silvern1006

Fear was not what he felt. Ryoumen Sukuna did not fear you who he faced; he was not a weak man. He was not a faint-hearted warrior. He was not a coward. But gleaming, ghastly eyes reminded him of mortality. Of the very human blood embedded in his veins. 

And the longer those round, moonlit eyes stared, the longer they sliced through the endless, empty blankness of the forgotten seaside palace, the louder that sound of drumming shook Sukuna's skull, against his ribs. But he was not afraid; he did not fear the gods. He would not fear one of their ilk in the flesh. 

The sound of water shifting echoed in the infinite void, dancing off distant walls as shards of light managed to catch on gentle, lapping wakes. Yet your head never moved an inch. Sukuna had seen other snakes do the same in his travels, keeping their heads still while their bodies squeezed and slithered–but their eyes were bound to fall closed. Yours stayed awake. Staring like the head of a Lion Dance puppet. Abnormal. Unaware of such abnormality. 

Sukuna gripped one of his swords tightly, ready to quick-draw if you'd chosen to strike. Gods were like that–hateful, horrible, honourless–and he expected nothing less from a beast like you; however, you'd been meandering towards him his entire stay, he realized too late. Slow. Quiet. Patient. The way one might approach a scared animal. 

I'm not getting paid enough for this shit. Sukuna found a smile, though. Maybe I’m getting paid too fuckin’ much. Who the hell does this thing need protecting from, huh? 

The question gnawed on his mind as your grandeur size became near-tangible–then, your eyes closed. Right when Sukuna started to make out the glint of scales against the moonlight of your eyes, the shimmering glow vanished, leaving only dappling sunlight streaming in from time-worn holes in the towering ceiling. 

“What do you want?” A man’s voice, your voice, asked from the shadows. The source was lower than before, ringing from a height so oddly human it gave Sukuna whiplash. 

“Ho? A shapeshifter?” Sukuna wondered, grinning. “You think you can take me on like that?”

“I don’t intend to ‘take you on’ at all, samurai.” You sighed and paced. Sukuna followed the sound of bare feet stepping on stones, coupled with the stiff drag of something scratching against the floor. Perhaps a tail? Perhaps fins? He didn’t know. The sunlight protecting him proved too stark against the shadows you dwelled within. 

“Someone has sent you here,” you decided. Sukuna felt your stare on him, though he could not see the twin lights. “My parents.” 

The grip on his blade lessened. “More or less. Said there was a godling that needed babysitting.” 

“Babysitting–?! The fucking audacity. Well, I promise you, this isn’t babysitting.” You snapped, bitter. 

Sukuna smirked. Never did he imagine a god-like thing would be so rough around the edges. “Then what would you call it?”

“Imprisonment.” You stepped toward the light when you said it, coming from an angle Sukuna didn’t expect, making him whirl in place and face the shadowed silhouette standing too close yet too far away. “And you’re my own, personal jailer.” Then, after a moment, you added, “Well. I guess it is glorified babysitting afterall. Expensive babysitting, at that. Congratulations on the easy money.” 

“That mean you’re gonna make this simple for me?” Sukuna asked. He tucked his arms into his sleeves as he waited for you to say something, but you only stepped back into the empty blackness filling your glorious cage. 

“Might as well,” your voice echoed, wilting, “I don’t care to leave this place anyway.” 

“‘N why the hell not?” He asked. 

But there was no answer; there was only the quiet splash of water, and twin ghost lights disappearing into the depths.