#and im too lazy to edit the tags on everything X)

[cup1drul3z]

★ — Keep Me Close

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 4 : ᴏɴʟʏ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ɪᴛ

��ᴏᴘꜱᴛᴀʀ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ x ʙᴏᴅʏɢᴜᴀʀᴅ!ꜱᴇᴠɪᴋᴀ | 7.0ᴋ ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ

TAGS : Age gap, Angst, Masturbation, Car crash mentioned, Drinking, drugs, mental health problems, depression, suicide mentioned

A/N : i actually forgot to post this chapter im gonna kms

SUMMARY : You and Sevika arrive at the hotel after a long travel day, but privacy is hard to come by. Between surprise selfies, overheard questions, and accidental tension, the line between fake and real starts to blur. A day of chaotic rehearsals, heat, and unexpected confessions at the festival grounds leaves both of you unraveling—slowly, privately, and in ways you’re not ready to admit.

Thursday Afternoon

The room was what you expected—quiet, sleek, and tastefully expensive. Warm wood floors, a king-sized bed layered in crisp white linens, blackout curtains, and soft, overhead lighting that made the whole space feel calm and insulated from the noise of the lobby.

A desk with an ergonomic chair sat against the wall, plugs in all the right places. There was a full-length mirror near the closet, a marble-lined bathroom with neatly folded towels and little glass bottles of eucalyptus soap, and best of all: a tray of snacks on the credenza.

Not the kind you had to fight with the minibar over. These were complimentary. High-end, wrapped in matte packaging, the kind of snacks you usually had to sneak onto your tour rider.

You let out a small, satisfied sound and flopped face-down onto the bed, arms spread like a starfish. The mattress was perfect—firm, with just enough give—and you bounced once, kicking off your shoes as you sank into the pillows.

“Finally,” you mumbled into the duvet. “Something soft that doesn’t talk.”

Sevika lingered near the door, scanning the space like she was checking for threats instead of closet space. Her eyes flicked to the walls, the ceiling, the quiet hum of the thermostat. She moved slowly, taking everything in with that same sharp tension in her shoulders like she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to relax yet.

You peeked up at her from where you were sprawled, then pulled your phone out and unlocked it with a lazy flick.

Already, your feed was blowing up—photos, fan edits, slowed-down videos of Sevika shielding you in the airport. Some zoomed so close, it looked like a movie still. People were freaking out over her. Over you.

Over the two of you.

You smiled faintly, brushed your curls back into place, and angled your phone for a selfie. Your lips curled into your signature smile, half-sweet, half-smug, and you made sure Sevika was in the frame just behind you—brows furrowed, looking mildly confused by the espresso machine on the counter.

Click.

Perfect.

Sevika let out a long, quiet sigh and finally lowered herself onto the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping slightly under her weight. She sat stiff, back straight, hands braced on her knees like she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to relax yet, even in a five-star hotel room with free snacks and no immediate threats.

Behind her, you were half-curled into the plush bedding, still scrolling on your phone, about to post the selfie you’d taken—your smile perfect, Sevika caught in the background looking way too serious for someone standing next to a cart of complimentary kombucha.

The room was quiet except for the soft hum of air conditioning and the faint tap of your thumb on the screen.

Then you broke the silence.

“Did you mean it?” you asked, your voice softer than before. No teasing. No smirk. Just a question lingering in the still air.

Sevika glanced over her shoulder, one brow raised. “Mean what?”

You sighed and set your phone down, turning onto your side. The movement drew her eyes before she could stop herself—how your hoodie hitched up slightly, the way the curve of your hip pressed into the mattress.

“The soft spot thing,” you said, watching her. “That we talked about on the plane.”

Sevika turned away instantly.

Too fast.

You didn’t miss it.

Her palm slid up her forehead and down her face in one slow, embarrassed drag as a quiet, sheepish chuckle escaped her lips. “I didn’t think you’d remember that…”

She looked like she was mentally kicking herself for letting that moment slip—like the admission had been accidental, like you’d imagined it.

You smirked and pushed yourself up, slow and quiet, the bedsheets rustling beneath your hands as you crawled across the mattress toward her.

She didn’t move.

Didn’t stop you.

You sat on your knees just behind her, close enough to feel the heat radiating off her back. You leaned in, your breath soft against her skin.

Then your lips brushed the crook of her neck—barely there, feather-light.

“Do you have a soft spot for me, Sevika?” you murmured, her name spilling off your tongue like warm honey. Smooth. Intentional.

Her breath caught. Shoulders stiffened.

But she didn’t move away.

BANG!

The door flew open so hard it bounced against the stopper.

“Y/N, we gotta go to the festival grounds—totally forgot—they need you there right now!” Dean yelled, halfway in the room, already flustered and breathless.

And then he stopped.

His eyes landed on you—on your knees behind Sevika, still leaning close, lips barely an inch from her skin. Sevika was frozen, back straight as a board, eyes darting toward the door like she’d just been caught in a heist, not a moment of tension.

You pulled back immediately, your brows scrunching in disbelief as you turned to Dean. “Ever heard of knocking, pendejo?!”

Dean’s mouth opened. Closed. “I—uh—I’m sorry!” He threw his hands up in surrender. “But you seriously need to get ready, like, now. They’re doing light and sound tests. PR wants behind-the-scenes footage. Dress cool because it’s already, like, a hundred degrees out.”

You stood up, brushing your hoodie down and glaring at him, hands on your hips.

“I always dress cool,” you attempt to make a joke

Dean blinked. “What?”

“Nothing, It was a joke, a bad one clearly” you snapped, already stomping toward the door. “Just—get out!”

You shoved him backward with one palm to his chest and slammed the door shut with a loud thunk, the echo rattling through the hallway.

Silence settled again in the room.

You turned slowly, cheeks flushed, breathing hard—not just from the yelling.

Sevika was still on the edge of the bed, looking at the floor like she was trying to pretend she hadn’t been two seconds away from losing control.

And you?

You kind of wanted to slam the door on Dean’s face again.

Your palms pressed against the door, head bowed for a moment as you tried to collect yourself after nearly committing second-degree manslaughter via hotel hallway.

Behind you, Sevika finally spoke.

“Maybe you should stick to singing,” she said dryly. “Not comedy.”

You turned slowly, the tension in your shoulders still tight—but your face unreadable, quiet. The silence stretched between you like a rubber band.

Then, without a word, you reached for the hem of your hoodie and peeled it off in one smooth motion, followed by your tank top, tossing both onto the chair like they were nothing.

Sevika blinked once.

You were standing there in a white lace underwear set—delicate and pretty but unflinchingly bold. Your scar was fully exposed, a pale streak of memory across your hip, stubborn and unhidden.

Sevika’s mouth dropped open. “What are you doing?!”

You arched a brow and moved toward your suitcase, deadpan. “Giving you a show, obviously.”

She stood quickly, caught between panic and protest. “Y/N—”

“Where else am I supposed to change?!” you asked, yanking your suitcase onto the bed with a little thud. “The hallway? Want me to ask Dean for privacy?!”

“I dont know: the bathroom?!” Sevika yelled back

You furrow your brows and turned your back to her as you rifled through your outfit options, walking to the full-length mirror with nothing on but confidence and lace. Sevika’s eyes followed you—unintentionally at first.

The lily tattoo on your shoulder blade caught her eye, soft lines and shaded petals, a clear memorial inked with meaning. But as her gaze dropped, it caught something else entirely.

A tramp stamp.

Hearts—sharp-edged and spiked, bold and unapologetic ink etched low on your back, right above the curve of your hips.

Sevika swallowed, suddenly very warm.

You grabbed a pair of low-rise bootcut jeans and shimmied into them slowly, the fabric hugging your hips as you adjusted the waistband just right. Then came the top—a dark brown, low-cut, halter tank that sat soft and light against your chest, leaving your collarbones exposed and glowing under the room’s soft light.

You ran your fingers through your hair, tousling it lazily as you turned around.

And paused.

Sevika was still staring.

Caught.

“You good?” you asked, teasing—though there was a flicker of something else behind your voice now.

Sevika blinked, jaw tightening. “I—yeah. Fine.”

But she hadn’t looked away yet.

The festival grounds were a swarm of motion—early chaos before the glamour. Vendors were unpacking crates of merch and overpriced sunglasses, food trucks were heating up fryers, and tech crews shouted instructions across the open air as they set up towering speakers and lighting rigs.

Carnival rides creaked in the distance, half-assembled but already glowing faintly with bright pastel bulbs. You could hear the clatter of metal being locked into place, the distant hum of generators kicking on.

It was hot. Ridiculously hot.

The kind of heat that made your makeup melt before you even had time to sweat it off. You were already hungover from your in-flight drink binge, sunglasses perched on your nose, sipping a smoothie like it was medicine while mentally planning how many drinks it would take to get you on that ferris wheel by sundown.

Sevika trailed just a few steps behind you, sunglasses on, jaw clenched slightly like she was doing her best not to groan out loud.

She'd ditched the leather jacket hours ago—too hot, even for her—and now wore the too-tight black tank top the event staff had handed out to all security members. “SECURITY” was printed bold across her chest, right over her abs, which the top did absolutely nothing to hide. Her baggy cargo pants and combat boots grounded her, but the shirt made her stick out more than blend in.

You were vaguely aware of how many heads were turning to stare at her—not you—and you weren’t even mad about it. Just amused.

“God,” Sevika muttered, half to herself, glancing around at the dust, the makeshift booths, the speakers being hoisted on cranes. “This reminds me of Warped Tour.”

You turned to look at her, one brow raised behind your shades. “What’s that?”

Sevika froze.

Her head turned slowly. “…You’re a singer,” she said flatly. “And you don’t know Warped Tour?”

You shrugged, biting back a grin. “Umm… oh! That was popular in the 2000s, right? For, like, emos? Fall Out Boy?” You flashed her a sugary smile.

Sevika stared at you in betrayal, arms crossing over her chest. “Yeah. Emos.”

You gave her a wink and turned back around, walking ahead with an extra bounce in your step, smug as hell.

Behind you, Sevika muttered something under her breath.

It was probably a slur in the sacred language of ex-scene kids.

The rehearsal area was alive with movement—singers pacing in circles doing vocal warmups, dancers stretching and marking through routines, a few idols adjusting their in-ear monitors while staff carried water bottles and clipboards like Olympic batons. The sun beat down without mercy, sweat already glistening on everyone’s skin, and the buzz of music equipment being tested echoed in the background.

You were barely paying attention, casually scrolling through your phone as Dean talked to a festival coordinator about your set schedule and accommodations, hands flailing like usual. Sevika stood a few feet behind you, arms crossed and sunglasses low on her nose, eyes constantly scanning the crowd.

Then, out of nowhere—

“Y/N!!!”

A voice rang out like a firecracker.

You barely had time to register it before a blur of bright blue came charging toward you—shoulder-length braids bouncing, arms flung open, paint-stained ripped jeans flapping like flags in the wind. The girl wore a cropped high-neck tank and a moon tattoo inked sharp across her right bicep.

Before you could react, Sevika stepped in front of you like a wall, and the girl slammed into her with a solid oof, stumbling back and landing right on her ass in the dirt.

“The hell’s your deal, man?” the girl snapped, looking up with a scowl.

You peeked over Sevika’s shoulder—barely managing to see anything at all from behind her massive frame, standing on your toes, eyes just clearing her arm.

Then your face lit up.

“Jinx?!” you gasped, squeezing past Sevika and practically tackling her in a hug.

“Y/N!!!” Jinx squealed, springing up to her feet. The two of you spun each other in a circle like it had been years—and honestly, it felt like it had. Sevika winced and muttered something as she covered her ears with both hands like the screeching physically hurt her.

“What are you doing here?” you asked breathlessly, pulling back just enough to look Jinx up and down. “Wait—don’t tell me. Is Ekko headlining?”

“Yep,” she grinned, popping the p as she adjusted one of her braids. “And I got hired to paint one of the main murals too. Look!” She pointed toward a roped-off area across the grounds, buckets of paint and scattered tarps surrounding a massive blank concrete wall.

You turned just in time to see Dean spinning around looking for you, clearly realizing he’d lost track of you. His eyes landed on Jinx and lit up.

“Ohhh my God,” he said, suddenly appearing beside you both, teeth bared in a marketing-smile. “Jinx! It’s been forever, you look amazing!”

Jinx’s face twisted immediately into visible discomfort as he pulled her into a hug she did not reciprocate. Her arms stayed at her sides, awkward and stiff, and she lifted her hand like a warning sign.

“Haha… yeah… still married to Ekko,” she said with a forced smile, pointing to her silver wedding band and pressing a hand to Dean’s chest to physically push him off.

You furrowed your brows slightly but didn’t say anything—just looped your arm through hers like a reflex and started walking toward the mural wall.

Sevika followed wordlessly behind, eyes flicking between Dean and Jinx like she was mentally evaluating what level of crime it would be to trip your manager in broad daylight.

“When are you gonna get a new manager?” Jinx asked under her breath, leaning close to your ear.

“I’m working on it,” you whispered back.

And honestly?

You meant it.

The food truck stood out like a candy-coated beacon at the edge of the festival grounds—bubblegum pink with swirls of frosting-like paint curling across the metal sides. A striped awning shaded the serving window, and the smell of sugar and fried dough hit your nose like a warm hug.

Made sense. Dessert truck.

A girl with bright blue and pink curls stood behind the counter, grinning from ear to ear like she’d waited her whole life for someone to ask for a funnel cake.

“What can I get you ladies?” she asked, voice bubbly and sweet as the powdered sugar floating through the air.

“Funnel cake, please,” Jinx said, already pressing her face slightly too close to the menu board as she looked at you expectantly.

You froze.

Your mouth opened.

Then closed.

A quiet thrum started in the back of your head—too familiar. Too sharp.

Maybe you shouldn’t. Maybe people were already whispering. Maybe someone would take a photo, post it, zoom in on your arms or your stomach or the way you chewed and laugh about it on Instagram. Maybe all those people who said they loved you would decide you were just some cow in a crop top pretending to be sexy.

“Y/N?” Jinx asked, her head tilting. “You okay?”

You blinked, pulling yourself out of the spiral, heart thumping.

“Uh—” you started, voice catching. You looked back up at the menu, reading each item like it was written in another language.

Then—

Smack.

A twenty-dollar bill hit the high counter with a sharp slap. Sevika, standing at your side, didn’t even flinch.

“She’ll take a candy apple,” she said, her voice deep and final, like a verdict.

The worker blinked, nodded quickly, and disappeared into the truck with a rustle of paper and the sizzle of caramel.

You turned to Sevika, stunned. “Why did you do that?”

You dug into your pocket, pulling out your wallet. “Here—let me pay you back.”

Sevika shook her head. “It’s fine.”

You didn’t listen. “That was really nice, Sevika, but you didn’t have to. I know times are kind of tight for you right now and—”

You pulled out a few crumpled bills, trying to push them into her hand. She didn’t take them.

Instead, she pressed her palm lightly against your chest, the money crumpling between you, her eyes narrowed just slightly.

“Sweetheart,” she said, voice low, “I said it’s fine.”

The word sweetheart hung in the air like smoke.

Both of you froze.

Your eyes widened. Hers did too.

Jinx, already halfway to biting her cuticles from sugar anticipation, blinked and looked between you two like she’d just walked in on something.

Then the worker returned, holding a funnel cake and a candy apple, the awkward tension immediately slapping her in the face.

“Here you ladies g—uh… is everything okay?”

Jinx snatched the funnel cake out of her hands so fast she may as well have teleported. “Yeah, they’re fine. Thanks, toots,” she mumbled, eyes wide, powdered sugar already on her chin.

You cleared your throat, trying to reorient yourself as you reached for the candy apple, cheeks burning.

“Thanks, ma’am,” you said softly, forcing a polite smile.

The worker blinked but smiled back before backing away slowly, clearly not wanting to get involved.

The three of you walked away from the truck, sugar in hand.

Then Jinx, mouth full of fried dough, glanced between you and Sevika again.

“Uhhhh… what the fuck was that?” she asked, powdered sugar puffing from her lips like smoke.

You bit into your candy apple, sweet caramel coating sticking to your lips, but your mind was elsewhere. “Didn’t get much sleep last night,” you said, brushing Jinx’s question off with a shrug, pretending the sudden shift in energy between you and Sevika hadn’t just knocked the air out of you.

Jinx eyed you like she didn’t quite buy it but didn’t push.

As the two of you made your way back toward the rehearsal zone, the distant beat of bass and mic checks rumbling through the air, she nudged your shoulder with hers.

“Well,” she grinned, licking powdered sugar from her thumb, “I gotta finish this mural before my boss realizes I wandered off again.”

You laughed and pulled her into a hug, squeezing tight. “It looks great. I’ll see you later, Jinx.”

She gave you a playful salute and sauntered off toward the wall, twirling a paintbrush like a baton. You watched her go, only half-finished with your candy apple before tossing it in a nearby trash bin.

When you turned around, Sevika was already watching you. Neither of you said anything.

You just… looked. And then you moved on.

Back inside the fenced-off area, Dean was deep in conversation with some dancers until he spotted Jinx in the distance—bent over a paint bucket, sleeves rolled, smudges of color on her cheeks.

“Hey,” he said, sidling up next to you, rubbing his hands together like a cartoon villain. “You think Jinx is into me?”

You blinked at him, face blank. Then grimaced.

“Dean,” you said with mock politeness, “please, for the love of all things holy, fuck off.”

He pouted dramatically but wandered off as fashion staff approached, waving you toward the changing trailers. You followed, slipping behind the curtains into your designated space.

The trailer was cozy and familiar, done up in your signature style—baby pink accents, heart decals on the walls, cute throw pillows, soft light strips lining the mirror. It felt like a mobile version of your dressing room back home. There was even a mini cooler stocked with chilled water, juice, and soda.

Sevika stepped inside behind you and immediately crouched in front of it, yanking it open. She grabbed a water bottle and cracked the seal with a satisfying pop, tilting it back and chugging the whole thing in seconds. A few droplets slid down her chin, catching in the hollow of her throat.

One of the fashion assistants—clipboard clutched tight to her chest—was visibly blushing, peeking over the top of her notes like she was watching a forbidden scene in a romance novel.

“Ma’am,” you said, raising an eyebrow.

No answer.

“Ma’am.”

Still nothing.

“MA’AM.”

She jumped and blinked hard, snapping her eyes to you, flustered. “S-sorry! Sorry,” she stammered, lowering the clipboard and flipping it open like that would somehow save her. “So! Um—we have a few outfits for you to try. They all match the dancers.just thought it would be good to give some options”

Another assistant stepped forward, arms full of fabric, and laid a few pieces out on the pink couch.

You didn’t hesitate. You began to strip.

Sevika stood up so fast she knocked the cooler lid closed with her boot, turning to face the wall like she’d just been caught doing something illegal. She kept her eyes forward… except for one small glance. Just one. Down. And then snap—back to the wall.

You slipped into the first outfit—a shiny metallic pink halter top with a rhinestone heart charm dangling at the bust. The front slit dipped low, tied around your neck, and hugged your frame paired with a ruffled jean skirt cinched by a heart chain belt, and finished the look with pink metallic boots.

In the full-length mirror, you looked like a popstar. A real one. Glossy. Unapologetic.

But the top hem of your scar peeked out across your stomach. It curled just slightly below the edge of the halter, visible when you turned even a little. It would show during spins, jumps, anything.

You stared at it.

Even now, after everything, it still made your chest ache.

You clenched your jaw. “Give me another,” you said to the assistant, shaking your head, hands already reaching to untie the top.

But then—

“I think it’s hot,” Sevika said, her voice low.

You stopped.

The room went still.

You looked at her through the mirror—her reflection watching you, eyes no longer trying to hide.

And she didn’t take it back.

You froze, fingers still hooked in the tie of the halter top, the knot half-undone.

The fabric hung slightly loose at your chest, but you weren’t thinking about that. You were thinking about what Sevika just said.

You turned toward her slowly, the mirror forgotten, the assistants forgotten—just you and her and the words still hanging in the air like smoke.

“You… what?”

Sevika leaned against the wall again, arms crossed, face mostly unreadable—except for the faintest pink at the tips of her ears.

“I said I think it’s hot.” She nodded once toward your scar, then added, “You look hot.”

Your mouth parted slightly.

Behind you, the assistant practically squeaked, backing away with the second outfit like she was trying to disappear into the couch. You heard a frantic whisper and a giggle as she and the other assistant scrambled out, not even bothering to close the door all the way.

The trailer was silent again.

Your voice was quiet when it finally came. “You’re not just saying that, are you?”

Sevika’s eyes met yours. “Do I look like I say shit I don’t mean?”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. The tension in your shoulders slipped, replaced with something else—warmth. Embarrassment. Maybe even a flicker of pride.

You looked down at yourself, at the shimmer of the pink halter against your skin, at the scar—raw, real, you.

And for the first time in a long time, it didn’t feel like a flaw.

It felt like something someone wanted to touch.

You looked back at Sevika. “Well,” you said softly, smirking as you smoothed the top back into place, “guess I’m keeping the outfit.”

She huffed a breath through her nose, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips.

“Good.”

The sun was still high, casting a gold haze over the rehearsal area as you stepped out of the trailer, your boots thudding softly against the packed dirt.

Sevika walked beside you, hands in her pockets, her expression unreadable behind her sunglasses. You kept glancing down at yourself—at the way the metallic halter hugged your body, at how the chain belt shifted with every step. Even with Sevika’s words still echoing in your head, it was hard not to fall back into that old habit of checking… adjusting… second-guessing.

You looked down one second too long and your toe caught the edge of a cable snaking across the ground.

Your body tipped forward—but you didn’t hit the ground.

Sevika caught your arm with lightning-fast reflexes, steadying you before you could do more than gasp.

She kept her grip light but firm, eyes scanning your face for something unspoken.

Sevika had been hired to protect you from crowds, stalkers, creeps, overzealous fans.

But lately… it felt like she spent most of her time protecting you from yourself.

From the voices in your head. From the weight of expectations. From the times you stared in the mirror like it owed you something.

You muttered a soft “thanks” as you brushed your hair back, trying to play it off.

She just nodded once and let go.

You reached the edge of the stage area where Dean was waiting, practically bouncing in place. He gave you a full once-over, not even bothering to hide it.

“You look sexy!” he grinned, eyes wide with approval.

You forced a smile, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. Your gaze flicked sideways to Sevika instinctively, watching her reaction out of the corner of your eye.

She said nothing—but the muscle in her jaw twitched.

Dean clapped his hands. “Alright, let’s run it! I want full energy like it’s the real thing. Cameras are up, and PR wants behind-the-scenes footage later, so if you sweat, sweat cute!”

You rolled your eyes and stepped up onto the stage.

The lights blinked on. The music started.

And the rehearsal began.

You got through the first song with practiced ease, body moving on instinct—your voice hitting the right notes, your feet landing on every beat. The stage was still only half-lit, but the sound was crisp, and the backup dancers moved like extensions of your rhythm.

As you struck the final pose, chest rising and falling, sweat starting to gather at the nape of your neck, you heard it—

Light clapping.

You glanced stage left.

Jinx stood in her little roped-off corner, paintbrush tucked behind her ear, grinning like she was watching her favorite sitcom live. She was surrounded by open cans of paint and a partially-finished mural, but she’d paused mid-stroke just to cheer you on—hands clapping a little too eagerly, like you’d just saved the world.

You gave her a breathless smile and a playful two-finger salute before wiping your forehead.

The rest of rehearsal passed in a blur.

Choreography was tweaked, lights were reset. You changed outfits twice. Your dancers ran formations. There were pauses for water, quick mic checks, and tiny arguments between Dean and the lighting crew.

Sevika remained close through it all. Always nearby. Watching. Quiet. Her eyes followed you each time you crossed the stage, hands tensed whenever you so much as looked unsteady. But she never interrupted. Never hovered.

She just stood there, like a shadow made of steel.

Eventually, Dean clapped his hands and called it.

“That’s a wrap! Let’s reset for show day. Everyone hydrate, rest up. And someone please get this girl a smoothie!”

You exhaled hard, sweat dripping down your spine, heart still thudding.

One rehearsal down.

The real show was coming fast.

The trailer was quiet now, the hum of rehearsal distant, muffled by the walls and heavy heat of the afternoon. You stood in front of the mirror, your metallic top now folded neatly on the counter, the chain belt looped over the back of a chair. You’d changed into something more comfortable—just a cropped band tee and cotton shorts—but your skin was still warm, still buzzing with adrenaline and exhaustion.

You stared at your reflection.

At the sweat still glistening at your collarbones.

At the smear of eyeliner under one eye.

At the scar that curved softly along your stomach.

Your hand hovered over the small bottle sitting on the counter next to your water bottle. The label was peeled at the edge from too many times being opened with shaking fingers.

You popped the cap.

One pill. Then another.

The familiar dull rush started to trickle in, slow and warm.

Then—

Knock knock.

You jumped.

Sevika.

You didn’t even need to hear her voice to know.

In a second, you snapped the cap back on the bottle and shoved it into your bag under the table, zipping it up with a quick flick of your wrist. You took a long sip of water, wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, and smoothed your hair down like nothing had happened.

“Yeah?” you called, keeping your tone casual.

“I’m coming in,” Sevika said through the door, her voice low.

You glanced toward your bag. You knew she knew. You felt it in your chest.

But you weren’t ready to have that conversation.

Not yet.

The door creaked open, and Sevika stepped in, ducking her head slightly from habit, like she didn’t quite trust the trailer frame not to hit her.

Her eyes swept the room first—always the room, then you. When her gaze finally landed on you, it lingered for just a second longer than it should’ve.

“Didn’t see you after rehearsal,” she said, her voice a little rough around the edges. “You disappeared.”

You offered a tight smile and turned your attention back to the mirror, adjusting a wrinkle in your shirt that wasn’t really there. “Needed a minute. It was hot. Loud.”

Sevika gave a soft grunt of agreement, stepping closer, pulling a bottle of water from the cooler. She unscrewed the cap, then paused—watching your reflection more than your actual face.

You caught her eyes in the mirror. She wasn’t saying anything, but the air between you tensed slightly.

Your stomach twisted.

She knew. Or at least, she suspected. But she wouldn’t call you out. Not yet. Not like that.

“You were good today,” she said finally, taking a sip. “Crowd’s gonna lose their shit tomorrow.”

You laughed, quiet and dry. “Hope so.”

She leaned against the small counter by the door, arms crossed again, but looser this time. “You okay?”

You glanced at your bag—just once, briefly.

Then forced another smile, smaller now. “Yeah. Just tired.”

Sevika didn’t push.

She just nodded slowly, like she was cataloging the answer. Saving it for later.

The silence that followed wasn’t awkward—but it wasn’t empty, either.

It was full of all the things you weren’t saying.

The trailer door clicked shut behind you, and you stepped down onto the gravel path just as the last stretch of sun dipped below the horizon.

The festival grounds had quieted. Most of the crew was gone or packing up for the night, the buzz of rehearsals replaced by the low hum of generators and the faint thump of distant bass tests.

You looked up.

The sky was a watercolor spill—purple bleeding into orange, streaks of pink softening into a deep indigo at the edges. It was the kind of sky you could get lost in if you weren’t careful.

Sevika walked beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of her cargo pants, her security badge now slung lazily around her neck. You glanced at her briefly, then tilted your head toward the sky.

“It’s so pretty out here,” you said, quietly. “You can actually see it.”

Sevika followed your gaze.

“In the city, it’s just gray,” you added. “All that light pollution... it’s like the sky’s being erased one billboard at a time.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment.

Then: “Never really looked up much before.”

You smiled, soft and faint, as the breeze rustled your shirt.

“Maybe you should start.”

Sevika didn’t reply, but she stayed beside you, her shoulder close enough to brush yours if you leaned just an inch.

Neither of you rushed the walk back. Not tonight.

Thursday Evening 

The ride back to the hotel was quiet, both of you lost in your own thoughts. The sky faded from rich indigo to a deep navy by the time you reached the building, streetlights casting gold shadows over the sidewalk.

You entered the hotel room without a word, the soft click of the door closing behind Sevika the only sound that followed you in.

Then you walked straight past the bed, your bag still slung over one shoulder, and into the bathroom.

Click.

The lock turned behind you.

You didn’t even meet her eyes.

Sevika stood frozen for a second on the other side of the door, staring at the wood like it had answers.

Inside, you dropped your bag onto the counter, hands moving on autopilot. You pulled out the bottle again. The pills rattled like broken thoughts.

You took one.

Then another.

Then another.

The faucet groaned as you turned on the shower, steam already beginning to fog the mirror. You stripped down slowly, deliberately, the sound of the water pounding against the tile a numbing backdrop.

Your body ached.

Your chest was tight.

And part of you hated that she was out there, probably knowing, probably feeling it—but saying nothing.

You stepped into the shower and let the heat wash over you, eyes shut, water rushing down your back as you pressed your forehead to the cool tile wall.

Trying to breathe. Trying not to drown.

Steam billowed around you, wrapping your body in a cocoon of warmth that did nothing to settle the cold sinking deep in your chest.

You stood under the stream, head bowed, water cascading over your shoulders and down your back, masking the burn behind your eyes. You pressed your palms flat against the tile, letting the water thunder over you like it might wash the thoughts out too.

It didn’t.

You stayed in there until your fingers wrinkled and the room was thick with fog, your heartbeat heavy behind your ribs. The pills dulled the edge, sure—but not enough. Not in the way you hoped. Just enough to make everything feel far away. Floaty.

You finally stepped out, wrapping yourself in a towel as the mirror slowly began to clear, the outline of your face appearing in the fogged glass like a ghost.

You stared at yourself again.

Still you. Still that same scar, peeking just above your hipbone. Still that same ache behind your eyes.

You cracked the door open a few inches, steam rolling out past your bare legs and flushed skin. You didn’t hear anything at first, but as you stepped into the room, you spotted Sevika sitting on the edge of the bed.

She hadn’t changed. Still in her cargo pants, boots unlaced. Her elbows rested on her knees, head bowed slightly, one hand running along the back of her neck like she’d been sitting there thinking too hard for too long.

She looked up when you stepped out, eyes scanning you quickly—not in a lingering way. Not right now.

Just… checking. Making sure you were real. That you were still there.

You said nothing.

Neither did she.

The silence sat between you both—quiet, steady, heavier than before.

You walked past her, towel clutched tighter around yourself than you needed, and reached for your pajamas.

She still didn’t speak.

But she didn’t take her eyes off you either.

And maybe that was the part that scared you most. That she saw everything—and stayed.

The room was dark, lit only by the pale glow of the city bleeding through the window. The curtains fluttered faintly with the hum of the A/C, and the hotel bed—massive, soft, overstuffed—creaked with every restless shift.

You lay on one side, curled beneath the thin sheet in your favorite nightgown—soft, pale, barely clinging to your skin in the heat. Your leg shifted against the cool fabric again, trying to find comfort, distraction, anything.

Sevika lay a few feet away on the other side, in a worn tank top and fuzzy, oversized pajama pants that didn’t match her usual vibe but somehow suited her. She’d been silent since the lights went out, but her breathing was too shallow, her presence too tense.

Neither of you had said it aloud.

But neither of you were sleeping.

You tossed. Then turned. So did she.

Got it—let’s adjust that:

Sevika couldn’t take it anymore.

She threw the sheet off her legs with a frustrated grunt, grabbing her pack of cigarettes and lighter from the dresser. Wordless, barefoot, still in her loose tank and fuzzy pajama pants, she crossed the room and grabbed her keycard from the nightstand.

You turned your head slightly but didn’t ask where she was going.

She didn’t offer.

The door opened with a low click, a rush of hallway air brushing over your skin. Then it shut behind her, leaving you alone in the thick, heavy silence of the hotel room.

You stayed still for a moment, listening to the soft hum of the fridge, the distant traffic outside.

Then your arm slipped off the side of the bed.

You reached for your little leather backpack, the one tucked underneath the edge where Sevika wouldn’t notice. The silver stars caught a glint of passing headlights as you unzipped it quietly, your fingers wrapping around the familiar shape nestled inside.

Your breath hitched—just slightly—as you pulled the vibrator out and sank back into the pillows, heart racing with something that had nothing to do with nerves.

She was gone. Fully gone. Probably standing outside the building, cooling off or burning through half the pack.

You had a few minutes.

And you were so wound up, you didn’t even try to talk yourself out of it.

Outside, the air was cooler than Sevika expected—almost sharp against her bare arms. The hotel parking lot was mostly empty now, the festival buzz having died down for the night. A flickering streetlight buzzed faintly nearby as she leaned against the stone wall, cigarette perched between her fingers, smoke curling slow and quiet into the night.

She lit her second without thinking, gaze unfocused, fixed somewhere between the concrete and the sky.

It wasn’t just insomnia.

It was you.

The way you looked in that nightgown, slipping under the covers without a word, your back turned but your thoughts loud. The way you tried to hide things you were certain no one could see—especially not her.

She could see all of it. Too clearly, maybe.

Sevika let the smoke sit on her tongue before exhaling slowly, the weight of everything pressing in again. Her hand slid into her pocket, pulling out her phone. She stared at the screen for a few seconds.

Then she scrolled to Vi and hit call.

It rang a few times before a groggy voice answered, rough with sleep.

“...You serious right now?” Vi mumbled, followed by the sound of rustling sheets. “It’s like three in the damn morning.”

“I know,” Sevika muttered, staring at the ground. “Shut up.”

Vi was quiet for a second. Then, more alert: “...Is this about the popstar?”

Sevika didn’t answer right away. She just took another drag, letting the silence speak for her.

“Oh my God, it is,” Vi groaned. “What did she do now? Wear glitter near you again? Breathe too sexy? Say thank you with a smile?”

Sevika sighed, tilting her head back against the wall. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That makes two of us, babe.”

“She’s... not what I expected.”

Vi let out a sleepy chuckle. “Is that a bad thing or good thing”

“...good” Sevika said quietly.

Vi was silent.

Then, gentler: “Yeah. I figured.”

Sevika stared off into the dark, thumb brushing over the edge of her lighter.

“She’s hiding something. Lot of somethings,” she said finally. “And I don’t think I’m supposed to care. But I do.”

Vi sighed. “You always care, Sev. You’re just too stubborn to admit it.”

“Yeah,” Sevika muttered. “That’s the fucking problem.”

Sevika pushed through the hotel lobby, the last drag of her cigarette still lingering on her tongue, her head low, hands stuffed deep in her pockets. The cool night had done nothing to clear her thoughts—it only made them quieter, sharper.

She reached the door to the suite and grabbed the handle, pausing for a moment before sliding the keycard.

Then she heard it.

A sound, faint through the door—soft, breathy.

A moan.

Sevika froze, her fingers still wrapped around the handle, her body locked in place.

Her brows furrowed immediately. Ten minutes. She’d only been gone ten minutes. Was someone in there with you? Had you invited someone over?

A hot twist of jealousy curled low in her stomach, ugly and immediate. She didn’t even realize she was holding her breath.

Carefully, she pressed her hand to the door and cracked it open just an inch, the room still dim with only the soft glow of the bedside lamp. And what she saw—

Her breath caught in her throat.

You were alone.

Sprawled on the bed, one knee bent, your nightgown pushed down around your waist. The sheet had been kicked off entirely, your skin glowing under the light, the soft rise and fall of your chest quick and uneven. One hand moved over your stomach, your other cupped around your breast, thumb brushing your nipple.

Your lips were parted, glossy and flushed, brows slightly drawn as you shifted against the pillows, lost in the moment—your head tilted just enough for Sevika to see the faintest hint of a smile.

She couldn’t look away.

Her chest rose and fell, slower now, heavier. Her hand slid off the doorknob. She didn't dare open the door further, didn't dare let herself be caught watching—but her feet wouldn’t move either.

Because god help her, she wasn’t angry anymore. She was starving.

A/N : after rewatching lilo and stich (the animation not that god awful live action) ive been thinking about doing a beach special in this fic, thoughts

comment to be added to the taglist!

@salsalsusu @dynamidedina @sweetvalentineheart @magnificentmilkshakearbite @pramspams @sevikas-whore @madzorwhatever

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW STRUGGLES WITH DRUG ADDICTION, HELP IS AVALIBLE! you're not alone!

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

[wsknbfanaccnt]

20 questions, Writing Edition

Tagged by @active-mind-15. technically LMAO. Also im gonan do this about tumblr because i dont use AO3.

How many works do you have on Tumblr?

54 total including requests, oneshots, headcanons, series, all that good stuff

What's your total AO3 word count?

sob i cant answer this

What are your top 5 fics by notes?

uhhh no idea im too lazy to look at every single fic ive written on tumblr you can just go look LMAO

What fandoms do you write for?

Knb only. I used to write for Saiki K and AOT but im not really active in those fandoms

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

ALWAYSYYSS i love reading and responding to comments and i dont usually get comments on my works lol SO I LOVE IT SM

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely fucking Hereditary. a They Act As One oneshot. Im blaming you @japeneselunchtimerush

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The thing is theres a few? LIke theres Tiger Cub, reader finds out that Kagami is pregnant, The Things I Do, Midorima spending time with his lil sis and Just a Glimpse, which is Cinderella! Reader x Kise.

Do you get hate on fics?

I have one that has a lot of uhm. Okay maybe not hate, but just negative responses? I wrote that smut fic when i was like 13 or 14 on wattpad so-

Do you write smut?

Yes. I LOOVEE writing smut <3 i love indulging in kinks and exploring different kinds of smut and reading it liek poeple need to request more kinky stuff ugh

Do you write crossovers?

i think i have at one point but nothing currently published.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of, but i dont think im that famous

Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but if anyone wants to, feel free to hmu <3

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope either, but id love to

What's your all-time favourite ship?

It used to be AkaKuro. Okay, i used to be so obsessed. Now its MidoAka <3 (HONORARY MENTION AKASEV)

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There's this one that I have hidden just because I dont have the motivation to write it at all, plus idk what to write. So probably never gonna happen.

What are your writing strengths?

people seem to really like uh. Angst especially. LMFAO i dont know i do love writing my some angst, and usually those are the fics that i get the most common too. But for me I think one of my strengths is making connections and symbolism between things. I love doing that so much and I think im good at it? Also writing with 5 senses. Just depends on my mood on how good it is LMFAODAJK

What are your writing weaknesses?

I absolutely (pun always intended) fucking suck at character development/developing feelings between two characters. Idk, like i feel that some shit is too obvious and some are too lowkey, this is why i dont usually write series and just oneshots.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I've done that before, but only in my own language. Its a lil bit of a hassle to translate everything into english whlie trying to make it still seem natural in the fic LMFAO

First fandom you wrote for?

Knb. Um. Lets not talk about that fic. its still published on wattpad just for shits and giggles and nostalgia but um. No.

Favourite fic you've ever written?

So far, definitely They Act As One. even out of all the oneshots and requests, my first series is so fun and im so passionate about it and i cant wait to write more <3

Tagging:

@padmsanakin @tetsunabouquet @indigosuvi I NEVER KNOW WHO TO TA GLMAO

[torchwoodfanweek]

Welcome to Torchwood Fan Week!

so, you're a fan of torchwood? and creating and enjoying fanworks? then you've found the right place! we're chill, accessable, and open to all. no signing up or anything of the sort required (cos im far too lazy to manage that sort of thing basically)

what is fan week

simply, a week's worth of prompts with the aim in inspiring some great torchwood related fan works, which are then posted during the week in question for us all to enjoy

how do i participate in the fan week

if there is currently one running (there is, on the 25th of august! prompts here) then find the prompts list and get creating! if there is not currently one running, then don't be shy to find old prompt lists and have at 'em. the ao3 collection is only open during the active week, but so-called 'late' entries will still be added to the masterlist, just be sure to tag this account so i see it!

further faqs and blog navigation (including prompts) below the cut

faqs

what counts as a fan work?

anything you want! art, fic, video edits, metas, analysises, character studies, collages, a nice little crotecheted myfanwy. all of it! you can't go wrong!

can i post...?

yes. the answer is almost certainly yes. its only a no if your work has absolutely zilch to do with torchwood, which frankly is unlikely. fandom crossovers, obscure big finish characters, 'pre-canon', ocs, and anything else along these lines is 100% welcome

how do i post?

here on tumblr! tag this blog and/or use tag your post with #torchwood fan week and i'll be sure to see and add it to the masterlist. for works on other sites, such as fics posted to ao3, your tumblr post can just be a link to the fic. additionally, there is an ao3 collection for fics, open during the week of the event

do i have to...?

no <3 you can do whatever you fancy really. you can only do the one prompt that you like, do five different versions of the same prompt cos you couldn't decide. you can mash them all into one. you can purposefully misinterpret a prompt and take it off somewhere weird, whatever floats your boat

i have another question

shoot me an ask im house trained, promise

blog navigation

in the spirit of keeping everything quick and easy to find, some links for your viewing pleasure

#admin post - previous admin posts, though most if not all of the information here is now found somewhere in the above.

#prompt post - for finding those prompts!

#torchwood fan week masterlist - just the one for now, this is the place to find a wonderful treasure trove of fan works (you're all brilliant i love you)

have fun x - @myarmsaretoolong

[strangeswift]

The end of the year is near! Give a shoutout to your favorite blogs and tag them to spread positivity before the year ends! (from: a secret anon)

This list is gonna be hella incomplete but my excuse is I am very sick and my brain is literally cooking itself <3 if i forgot u I still love u I promise. Also these got aggressive which i also blame on my high fever

@elekinetic is the best in the world, the only screenwriter ever. Read their scripts in their pinned post or i will kill you. Also she has edits that are fucking amazing, watch the brutal edit or else you suck. And. Check out her playlists too. And you guys don't even appreciate her enough because she's the best and sometimes i want to grab you all by your faces and say APPRECIATE ELLA MORE! Like. Her scripts are actually insane. insane. INSANE. Anyway whatever read them now.

@eightieslesbian makes the best gifsets in the world and she is literally everything to me so if you are NOT following her then you and i have a problem which can only be resolved by you following her. She has a link to her work in her description so check it out and reblog them all ok.

@finalgirlbyers sierra loveqbrl madcleradin finalgirlbyers is the blog ever and you need to follow her immediately or else you will have bad luck for 7 years. Every take is based, every post a slay.

@astrobei is the fanfic writer of all time ever and you should read not all the prayers immediately because it is my favorite fanfiction of all time and i am not exaggerating. It is emotionally devastating but you should read it anyway and if u don't just know that i am mentally kicking your shins so hard SO hard

@andiwriteordie hmmm the best? The best. Her fics are just 💖💘💞❤️ and she is literally so smart, comes up with the best ideas. The CEO of Taylor Swift x Byler. If you thought it was me, you're wrong. It's her. But I'm like.. idk the CFO or maybe her assistant

@quinnick best friend moot. Check him out on ao3 and at @nickquin for art things. And follow him. He is fun, the nicest sweetest person ever, has great takes. Follow him or else i hate u

@ratt-duffer CHECK OUT RATT'S FUCKING ANALYSES AND EDITS THEY ARE SO GOOD im tired of u people you all suck, ratt deserves more appreciation

@chiquitablanquita is an amazing writer and amazing person. Check her out on AO3, Things I Can't Say is soo fucking amazing and she just put out the first chapter of her Spidey Will fic!!

I probably forgot many people plus i am lazy and tired rn ok <3 byeee

[celianascended]

funny half life video hours

hell yeah it is!

[starry-kin-cafe]

~ intro ~

welcome to my cafe!! here i give out a lot of things to anyone and everyone! i refer to this blog as starry cafe and everything is cafe themed. this blog is mainly for those who kin from the media i do orders for. please read through everything before interacting! 

the rest of the post is under the cut!

im mod alex, and im a trans demiboy that uses he/they pronouns! i am a neurodivergent minor and am currently the only mod working on orders. i may not be able to deliver orders for some periods of time due to school, and i apologize in advance!

you may call me starry or lati if you’d prefer to!

you may also call me by my kin names too! 

current kin name list: sorbet, hunter, koto

~ dni criteria ~

do not interact if you are:

racist

ableist

a p\dophile/MAP

lgbtq+phobic (homophobic, transphobic, etc.)

anti neopronouns

anti xenogender

transmed

a terf

a nazi

kinphobic/anti kin

“super straight” or anything similar (the identity is inherently transphobic) 

a proshipper/anti-anti

a nsfw and/or kink blog

inc/stual or support inc/st

just here to troll/spam the ask box

if your name is tyr, i would prefer if you use a different name

~ sources ~

main sources: 

danganronpa (localized games only)

cookie run: ovenbreak

doki doki literature club

the owl house

animal crossing

bug fables: the everlasting sapling

other sources: 

(i may have to deny requests for these due to limited knowledge)

danganronpa 3: end of hope’s peak academy

danganronpa zero

genshin impact

my little pony: friendship is magic

undertale/deltarune

steven universe

~ blacklist ~

h/ji towa

monaca x nagisa shingetsu (danganronpa)

despair!junko enoshima x anyone (non despair is okay! i have separate non despair junko sprites i can use) 

boscha x willow (the owl house) 

pre-timeskip spike x any adult character (examples: any of the mane 6 x spike will not be done) (mlp:fim)

~ the menu ~

edits:

icons (can have multiple characters, specific themes, and/or lgbtq+ stuff!)

backgrounds (phones and pc only)

aesthetic/mood boards

ship edits (only if the characters have fullbody or halfbody sprites i can use)

minor sprite edits (danganronpa, cookie run, bug fables, and ddlc only) 

art/writing:

doodles (mainly sketches, i will not accept requests that are too complex or have more than 5 characters in them)

headcanons/small write-ups (they might be called something else but im not sure. ill basically do a bulleted list of how i believe the character would react) (these will take longer to come out and can only be done for main sources)

misc:

kin help (basically what other blogs would call kin assigning. i take kinning to be very personal so i am uncomfortable with assigning people kins, but i can recommend some characters for you to consider!) (please specify which sources you’d like for me to pick from or ill default to my main sources) (this is not for canon calls, all asks in that style will be denied)

meme edits/doodles (please specify the character[s] and specify the meme. i can edit videos as well, but those will be a lot more simple)

opinions/personal headcanons (ask for my opinion for anything from any source, includes fandom specific things as long as they dont have things that are on the blacklist)

~ other important things ~

you will have to like a post if you use anything in it. reblogs and credit are also encouraged and appreciated!

i have a main blog mainly for my art and ramblings. it is undergoing some rebranding so i cant link it rn!

if i use my art in any of my edits, credit is required

the blog is currently cafe themed so tags and such will have that theme. i will be referring to requests as orders and anons as customers and other terminology that has not been decided yet  

i use tone indicators when i feel they should be included

i use they/them for chihiro fujisaki 

i use he/they for sorbet shark cookie (i will try to use they but im a dumb kinnie that self projects way too much so i will slip up sometimes sfhhdfjg) 

i may use they/them for mukuro ikusaba (when im in a mukuro shift i get uncomfortable with mukuro being related to things that could be perceived as feminine, which includes her canon pronouns [she/her]) 

~ outro ~

that’s it! im sorry for such a long introduction post, im too lazy to make a carrd haha

i hope you enjoy your stay at the starry cafe!! 

[yandererubix]

Yandere ABC’S

featuring keith and yan pico :D

.

 Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Believe it or not, all this boy would do is just snuggle, or maybe watch a movie. You bet your ass it can and will get very intense, and it makes them both thankful of the lack of neighbors.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Jesus christ, Pico went through enough trauma to not be affected by blood anymore. He would blast that fucker through the head quicker then you can hide, yet if its with his friends he’ll be a bit more hesitant, choosing instead to have a little ‘talk’ with them. He would kill them if he felt he had to, though. edit: poor gf would definitely be the first to die

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

He might try and dehumanize Keith a tiny bit, if not just to make sure he doesn’t escape. He does it all in a teasing manner, of course, because why on earth would he try to hurt him? At least, that’s the excuse he uses every time.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

That’s a big yes, and sometimes not even knowing. Probably mainly for punishments, say Keith tried to escape? There’s no way he’d take that without some form of lecturing.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

About average, enough to feel ‘safe’ around him but not everything, such as the shooting. Keith’s aware of the incident because news exists, but he doesn’t know what really happened that day, like most.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Oh, he’d take the challenge heads on, ‘teasing’ back with a dangerous glint in his eye. However, if he wasn’t in the mood, he would definitely tie him down, or simply hold Keith closer, tighter. He doesn’t want to break him, after all.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

You can bet your right arm it is. More often then not he gets a thrill from playing their little game of cat and mouse, and its even more rewarding when he finally catches/

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

When his darling tries to strike back when he’s vulnerable. etc. after sex, sleeping, things like that. There would probably be the tiniest bit of blood drawn, often ending with a sobbing Keith ‘snuggling’ up with him.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He hasn’t really thought about that. He’s content with how things are now, so, go figure.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Is this even a question? For coping he’d probably go on a weed massacre or beat the shit out of whoever held Keith’s attention, until said person is nothing but a bloody piece of rotting meat.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Can get very affectionate, which could be quite dangerous varying on the levels. Otherwise, he’s just Keith’s usual flirty boyfriend.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Okay, lets be honest. After a while of waiting he would just pin him to the wall then drag him away to the ✨cold hard future✨™

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? For sure. Around his darling, he’s flirtatious and very hands-on, but in public he’s quite cold to anyone who so much acknowledges him. Around him friends, although similar, he does genuinely try. God knows what for.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Sexual, dehumanizing, or neglect. There is no in-between. Sorry, Keith.    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

As mentioned in many other letters, he can be quite patronizing and take away quite a few rights. (name-calling, sometimes he won’t clean up the cuts after punishment if he’s really angry, so on.)

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Impatient most of the time, but that’s neither of their faults, its just in Pico’s nature. He does make an effort most of the time, but no judging if he snaps.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Let’s be honest, he would just shoot himself and they’d be together again. Next one, please.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

First question, a very small percent of the time. He’s definitely delusional, so even though he’s painfully aware of everything, it’s fine. Their together now.  Keith’s only pretending to hate him and call him all those horrible things because he’s too shy to admit he loves him back, right?

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

do with this question what you will. its 10:40pm, people, give me a break.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He’d obviously feel bad, but try not to let it show. Keith won’t acknowledge his presence? Fine. Then he won’t be in his presence for lets say, five days? The problem is, both of them are stubborn as a mule, and that just might be the reason K dies one day.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

gun gun gun gun gun gun gun gun gun gun gun

also the fact he can get reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllly jealous. All of the goddamn time.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

im 👏pa 👏tient 👏 also, the jealousy. If Keith suddenly pays super extra affectionate randomly back, it might soften up restrictions.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

how many times have i wrote about the blood tho

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Very far lengths, mental wise. Such as killing someone Keith was talking to while he was talking to them, just as a teensy reminder of his love.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

As mentioned this boy is pretty impatient, so I imaging some time after week three he would finally snap. He was just so excited from finally being able to duel him like that, don’t scold him!

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

He might accidentally, depending on how strong K’s will is. Pico obviously doesn’t want him to become despondent, he loves him too much, and besides, it’s so much fun for them both when they play their little games of tag or hide and seek.

uurrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhn its now 10:50pm, enjoy i guess and expect more, gremlins.

(sorry if any mistakes, too lazy and tired to care. adios!  ✌️

[tiffersthenerdyficrecs]

*Problematic* DekuMight Lemon Fics

give me the power by orphan_account

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Relationship: Midoriya Izuku/Yagi Toshinori | All Might Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Additional Tags: this is my first time writing smut lmfao, i just needed to get this out of my system, anyways izuku is FOURTEEN!!!!!!!!, and all might is...old, all might is a LITTLE ooc towards the middle?, but i just think he gets intense during sex, Oh also, all might has a big dick, like A HONKING BIG ASS COCK, not edited bc im lazy, Smut, Dirty Talk, all might calls izuku a slut, bc i wanted him to, THIS IS ALL SELF INDULGENT OKAY Summary: My Hero Academia in which everything is the same except in order for All Might to pass his quirk onto Izuku, he has to come inside of him.

Indulgence by A_Fallen_Fate

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Relationship: Midoriya Izuku/Yagi Toshinori | All Might Characters: Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Midoriya Izuku, Shinsou Hitoshi, Bakugou Katsuki Additional Tags: pornstar!All Might, Anal Sex, Desk Sex, Porn With Plot, Shameless Smut, Fluff, Shinsou is the best wingman, possibly continuing as a longer series, Kinky, cheesy porn dialogue is the best, heed the tags, All Might fucks Izuku to be clear, Izuku is 15 in this, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Shinsou Hitoshi is in Class 1-A, shameless!Shinsou, All Might was never injured, Midoriya Izuku is a Nerd, Age Difference Summary: In a world with quirks but not heroes, how else were people supposed to make a living?

A story where All Might was a world-renowned pornstar, Izuku; his biggest fan, and Shinsou just wanted to hook a buddy up. A love story.

HeroFiction by Animillion

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationship: Midoriya Izuku/Yagi Toshinori | All Might Characters: Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Fanfiction, Daddy Kink, Riding, Mentor/Protégé, Anal Sex, Sex Summary: Izuku rediscovers his old All Might x Reader love. Then he discovers DekuMight. All Might discovers it too.

Autumn Boys by GoBeyondProblematic

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Relationship: Midoriya Izuku/Yagi Toshinori | All Might Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Additional Tags: Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage Sex, First Time, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Pining Summary: On a chilly October night, Toshinori invites his student up to his apartment for a cup of tea.

Idol Worship by bh6addict

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Relationship: Midoriya Izuku/Yagi Toshinori | All Might Characters: Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Love Confessions, Teacher-Student Relationship, Dirty Talk, Anal Sex Summary: Izuku has always admired the number one hero. Maybe even more than he should...

[bardovelho]

3rd Habitversary in 2019

Today , April 14th, I celebrate my 3rd year Habitversary. The second one was skipped, forgotten along with all my tasks and Habitica itself, by the time I was experiencing my longest, hardest, and most teaching burnout of my Habitican life!

I learned that burnouts happen to me when I take too much pressure on myself and have too many difficult Dailies that I can't face. So, I faced not a single one instead of trying to do the best that I can, by avoiding Habitica almost completely. The magical key to break this bad vicious cycle is to Rest in the Inn WHILE doing the Dailies that I feel like doing, with no pressure. Then, I will only leave the Inn when I'm able to reach one Perfect Day, maybe 3 to make sure. This way, I'll still be leveling up, building motivation, but with no stress. Because Habitica is not about adding all the tasks that I can remember and doing as much as (im)possible; it's a tool to build motivation, which will generate progressive productivity. It can be like a muscle\battery of will power (as I read in The Power Of Habit), if well designed and oiled.

The (other) problem is that I'm now noticing that each task is unique, and it only stays without change when I don't evolve in it. So, it's a good thing to constantly adapt (at least, the most important) tasks title and description accordingly to my evolutions and consequent adaptation of new techniques that I'm building. This means that I need, with great awareness, to periodically check if each task is working as it should, and edit it accordingly to how it should be right now, specially Dailies and Habits. I'm thinking about adding a monthly revision about this. Adding monthly summaries instead of only the weekly ones helps a lot, too.

I'm now facing 20 dailies and more, the double of what I could do in the past, and challenging my comfort zone every day, without breaking the Perfect Day streak (I'm amazed with myself every day!). The Big Mountain of ToDo's is still to be conquered, but I'm managing it slowly: I'm using a dedicated Trello board to manage this, but it needs a serious update.

Priority monsters of the past (that is, during 1st Habitversary): I'm getting much better with my passive-aggressive behavior (thanks to a dedicated Habit), and avoiding conflict like a stealth ninja. But the world is a mess, so I'll still find opportunities for better training. I'm also understanding others better, but there will be always room for improvement on this topic. Plus, I'm building positivity and optimism behavior. These all might look like simpler things nowadays, but after reading my 1st Habitversary, I noticed how I was really struggling with these. Evolving on these issues made my life significantly better.

Tools: Forest has become a game changer for my Pomodoro Technique: I now have a tree code: Starry Tree and Rainbow Flower - Frogodoro (priorities) Moon Tree and Ghost Mushroom - Work after midnight Cactus and Ball Cactus - Avoiding priorities, but working Scarecrow and Pumpkin - Procrastinating Treehouse, Rafflesia - Domestic tasks (previously Habitica Tasks) Nest - Nap Ginkgo and Sunflower- Professional Wisteria - Writing, paperwork Mushroom - Plan Still working on it (specially the tags), but these ones will probably stay. The rooms are specially motivating, since I can invite someone else to work at the same time as me, helping me to share the burden and avoid laziness. I have now a LOT of Forest friends, and I'm very happy that some of those are Habiticans. Some conclusions: The 1st Pomodoro of the day is always the hardest. Frogodori make the day easier and easier. Habitica public challenges improve my Pomodoro dedication.

Duolingo is my go to App to start learning a language, and I'm in a streak with more than 100 consecutive days. Anki is now also used for affirmations: very useful! Trello is used for several projects that involve several tasks, and I find this very organizing, especially when I add specific quality tags to each board. IFTTT adds some cards. RescueTimer is still running on the background, but I haven't checked it for months. OneNote has more detailed notes about how I play Habitica: after this big burnout I struggled a lot to remember what each symbol and task meant, so now I have a dedicated section with everything that I'm doing regarding game mechanics (plus extra notes from specific tasks), because I can't trust my memory every time. Stylish is my permanent eye saver companion when using Habitica site (added some personal styles too), and the Chrome\Firefox extension Dark Mode (#4 (pitch dark)) is very useful, also. WunderList is not perfectly configured and I'm lazy to make it work, but will probably be using it again. Productivity Challenger and Toggl are the only two tools that I stop using since my last celebrated Habitversary.

Future ideas (brainstorming): Hard Mode: Forest in Hard Mode (every second I lose a little bit of focus, a tree dies). Try first: tree dies after 2nd or 3rd distraction. Wardrobe limits: Thinking about paying GP + a negative medium Habit every time I want to change a piece of battle equipment. I'm always using the best equipment for the best Habitica points, and because now I can beat this strategy, it's probably making the game too easier, and less dynamic. Timeclock: if I don't do a Daily by x hour or x hours after waking up, press a specific negative Habit. Offline experiment: Going back to Wunderlist, or use another extension that syncs to Habitica Dailies (shouldn't be Habits because they don't have 21 streaks). Try other extensions to improve game mechanics, automation and time spent on managing Habitica tasks. I need to reduce the time that I spent with habit tracking: although it's giving me great results, it's also probably consuming more energy and time than it should, I suspect.

Other notes: Depression and anxiety still attack from time to time, but now I have tasks and list of routines that I can do to prevent and recover from it faster than ever before, and healthier! Adding the Morning and Go To Bed Ritual is being very difficult, so instead of risking to lose the Perfect Day streak, I prefer to use my second account to get familiar and test this new routine. I inserted a limiting cheat system for Dailies: to skip a Daily, I have to pay 100 GP for each 1000 GP that I own, I can't do this more than 3 times per day, I also have to press 3 negative habits, and a £ marker needs to be added as a checklist item. A Daily cannot have more than 3 £ markers, and every time I want to remove a marker, I have to pay the same penalty as before. This makes me delay the Daily (and pay a penalty) instead of really skipping it, and if a Daily has 3 markets then I know that I really have to spend special focused time on it! I also added a -£ option, for when I do twice as much of that Daily than I should on that day. This helps me to keep doing my daily goals around the time that they need to be done, instead of EXACTLY at the time they need to be done. It brings more flexibility to the daily routines, and helps me to not avoid them, because I delay them instead of skipping them. It also makes me be focused on several Pomodori for a specific task instead of a single one per day.

I'm now (30/04/2019, updating and revising this text) on my 3rd Adventure, at level 103. I'll make a better resume of this 3rd Adventure In the beginning of next month.

P.S.: I just now realized that I haven't published the Report of my second adventure yet! So that's why I was delaying this Habitversary update… Oh well, I have to deal with it next month too. More to come!!

[sttrawberries]

11 questions asked and answered (skam edition)

I was tagged by @capelli-di-merda, thank you!<3

1. Always repost the rules

2. Answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

3. Give 11 questions

4. Tag 11 people

1. How did you find out about skam?

I remember that saw some posts about isak and even on twitter, I was curious about it but I didn’t do anything. A couple of months later I searched videos of them on youtube and ended up watching the whole show in two weeks (it was over airing by that time). Later on, I saw some people talking about the fact that there was going to be remakes of it and I wasn’t so sure about it I ended up watching all of them and now my life is 95% skam remakes

2. Which character (from the remakes) deserves its own season and why?

Daphne and Viri! I was so sure we will get daphne’s season but maybe, considering all of the thing they showed us, we will get it after arthur’s. And I’m definitely sure we will get at some point Viri’s season, they gave us way too many clues (but I have to admit I want Nora’s season first)

3. Some of your favorite songs that you discovered while watching skam?

A lot of them, but I’m going to check the playlists and write one of each remake, otherwise the post will get too long

They have no particular order whatsoever and they are not necessarily my first favourite from every remake

1.  human again by carl louis (feat. ary) -> skam og

2. last dance by scratch massive -> skam fr

3. jungle by tash sultana -> skam nl

4. getting older by anni b sweet  -> skam esp

5. ich will dass du mich brauchst by rin -> druck

6. self control by raf -> skam it

7. when i was older by billie eilish -> wtfock

8. no devotion by tender -> skam austin

4. Is there anything that you would like to change in any of the seasons?

I really want them to change the noora x yousef storyline in skam italia, I feel like they would waste all of the changes and progress they’ve made so far

5. Favorite version of Noora and why?

Eleonora oh what a surprise! It’s the one I feel most related to, I love all of the changes they made, I love how ele’s personality was portrayed, I love the fact that they choose to be her the one telling what happened to edoardo, I love the fact that they showed that she was the victim in that story and they didn’t made her apologise, I love every little small thing of it. Despite the fact that I think we could have got more content, I loved and I aprecciated the one's we've got

6. Favorite version of William and why?

Edoardo, I love every change they made in him, I loved that he apologised for thinking about what happened with her brother instead of how she was feeling , I loved how respectful he was, I loved when he asked her if she was ready, when he cleaned her room(?), I loved when he confessed so their friends won’t get in trouble, the fact that he went looking for her to apologise, I loved the fact that he listened to her and he didn’t interrupted her and he told her that he wouldn’t hurt her instead of the classic ‘’im here now so everything is better’, among other reasons i’m just too lazy to write

7. Top five moments from the og?

Again, they don’t have a particular order

1. noora’s panic attack scene

2. the clip where isak comes home and even is playing video games with linn

3. the party clip on eva’s birthday in s4 (also william’s comeback, but i love the part where everyone was having fun)

4. the morning clip in s1, after the girls came to eva’s house and they thought vilde was pregnant

5. william and noora’s slow-mo at s4

8. Which skam characters would you date in real life?

Probably Edoardo or Alexander, Isa or Mia

9. Would you want for the og to have more seasons?

Vilde, I’ve been curious about it after her POV clip in the last episode of s4

10. Your favorite character from the skam universe and why?

Eleonora, for the reasons I wrote before

11. Best girl and boy squad in the skam universe?

girl squad: skam nl, skam españa, wtfock

boy squad: druck, skam fr and skam it

My questions:

1.  To which character do you feel most related to?

2. Do you watch all of the remakes?

3. Did you see the og while it was airing?

4. Name 3 facts you like about every remake (or the ones you’ve seen)

5. Have you tried to convice some of your friends (or anyone) to watch skam? Did you succed?

6. How did you find about out skam?

7. First impression and what do you think about it after watching it? (it can be about any character, season or remake, you choose)

8. What did you think when you found out that there were going to make remakes of skam?

9. Favourite speech? 

10. Favourite version of every character from all of the remakes? (or pick three if you don't want to write much)

11. Favourite room from all of the one’s we’ve seen?

I tag: @air-bison-yip-yip @incantsava @ayellowcurtain @aelingalathyniux @contrabbandieri @ciaoragno @joondlxnx  @nori-sava @incantieleonora @edonori @walkingandpanicing

(do it if you want to! even if you haven’t been tagged)

[holland-ish]

That Sounds Weird  [ T. Holland ]

Request: rip im too late for the 10 requests but I did requests awhile back when your requests were open an imagine where tom x reader during a lazy sunday and reader has tumblr acc and they spent the day reading tom fics and was wondering if you remember that or? love your acc xx :)

Word Count: 824

Warnings: I didn’t do a very good job writing this, language

A/N: For reasons unknown, I found myself struggling to write this? Idk, just not very happy with how my writing turned out in this one. The idea was really cute though and so I still wanted to post it! Also, I kinda took the piss out of myself in this asdfghjkl

Masterlist

“There’s nothing on my blog that’ll be interesting to you, Tom,” you chuckled, scrolling through your dashboard and stopping to reblog a photo of a small coffee shop with a cute looking garden just outside it.

“Untrue,” Tom murmured into your hair, his chin resting atop of your head. Your ear was pressed against his chest, the sound of his steady heartbeat helping to relax your mind and muscles. “Everything you do is interesting to me.”

“How about we do something else instead?” Your blog didn’t necessarily consist of anything you didn’t want him to see. It just wasn’t something you had wanted to share, for no other reason than the fact that it was personal.

“Fine,” Tom rolled his eyes, smiling and placing a small kiss on your forehead. “I have an idea.”

“Mm, what is it?”

Tom pulled the laptop from your lap so that it was situated between the two of you, half on his thigh and half on yours. He typed his name into the search bar, grinning as he hit the enter button and waited the few seconds for the page to load. You chuckled, leaning into him and resting your head on his shoulder.

“Is that a-”

Before he could even finish his sentence, you nodded with a grin. “It’s written by, uhm, her url says Holland-ish.”

“Do you think we should read it?” Tom raised an eyebrow in question, hovering the cursor over the ‘keep reading’ option.

“Sure,” you shrugged, playing it off nonchalantly. In all honesty, you were pretty curious. Nowhere near as curious as Tom was, of course, but you were still very curious.

Tom snickered when he clicked on it. The two of you had already read the title and short (and very vague) summary so you did have an idea about what it was that you were going to read.

“This is stupid.”

“Shut up, Y/N,” Tom snickered. “We haven’t even started reading it.”

“There’s a fucking-”

“Watch your bloody mouth, love.”

You shook your head at Tom, smiling at him before reverting your eyes back to the screen. “Are you going to read it out loud or am I?”

“I want you to read it,” Tom mumbled. “I like hearing you read. Your voice sounds nice.”

“Alright then,” you replied, nodding your head and taking a sip of water from the bottle that was sitting on the table beside the bed.

“Thanks,” he said, letting his head fall to rest on your shoulder. His soft curls tickled your skin but you didn’t seem to care at all.

“There was a comfortable silence that filled the air in the small coffee shop that was sitting empty at the corner of the street. It wasn’t uncomfortable thanks to the patter of rain hitting the roof and the gravel outside-”

“That sounds weird,” Tom muttered, his voice muffled in your neck. “I’m no expert but the way she used the word ‘comfortable’ and then ‘uncomfortable’ sounded weird.”

You shrugged your shoulders once more, giggling as Tom grumbled when the action moved his head in an awkward way. “Should I carry on?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Tom said. “I was just saying.”

And so you did carry on. Tom’s lips were curved into a smile as he let his eyes fall shut, the sound of your voice a soothing break from other noise. The two of you giggled here and there, stopping yourself short of sentences for a kiss when Tom really needed.

Soon enough, you were over halfway through the little story. “I just didn’t think it was fair for a pretty girl like you to be sitting here alone,” you read.

“I would never say that,” Tom scoffed, holding back the urge to let out an ugly laugh. “That’s horrible. I wouldn’t say that, ever.”

“I don’t know,” you teased. “I think you may have said it before, even.”

“Lies.”

You didn’t say anything in return, laughing and returning to reading. It was finished rather quickly and you let out a sigh once you could finally stop reading. You clicked back to the search results, deciding to read another one with Tom.

But before you did that, the two of you took a minute to scroll through and admire the other posts that were tagged with his names. Tom smiled at the text posts and laughed at the jokes, grinned at the photos and complimented the moodboards and edits. Another half an hour had passed by quickly and you found yourself reading aloud once more. This was written by someone different and Tom smiled as he listened to it.

“This one is much better!” Tom laughed, tightening his grip around your waist and pulling you closer to him. “I like this. We should do it more often.”

[artiowyvern]

Tagged an eternity ago by @nyxielchildofthemoon and @yukikinomiya x) 

Rules: Answer the questions you’re given, write 11 of your own, and tag 11 people. 

Questions by @nyxielchildofthemoon

1. What is the one thing you have always wanted to do? Dyeing my hairs 

2. If you could have any appendages what would it be? Wings would be great ~ 

3. Favorite YouTuber and why? Hum... I have three xD all french tho x) DirtyBiology, it’s a very well made science channel with interesting subject, a great editing and an overall really good quality. Le Fossoyeur de Films, talking about movies and genre cinema in particular with fiction at some point, very cool, well made with interesant point of views. Karrim Debache, talking about movies too with his team, kind of hard to explain everything but again editing, fiction, quality on top, interesting point of view as well and omg so funny !

4. If you could change your name what would you change it to? Like real name ? Artion lel :)

5. If you could have any book character come to life, who would you pick and why? Any ? The Copper/RuGaard from Age of Fire because 1/ I want a dragon friend lol 2/ He deserve better

6. Would you be friends with your oc (if you have one)? Sure !

7. What would be the theme song of your life at this moment in time? Hum... not sure sorry

8. Child of the sun or child of the moon or child of the stars? I would say Sun but I have a bit from the moon too 

9. Stuff animals? Yes or Nah. Yes ;3

10. Favorite Flowers and why? Snowdrops/Galanthus, isn’t that amaizing such a small flower can make its way trought the snow to blossom ? 

11. Favorite crystal if you have one? Just being the geology student I am there x) I like fluorine 

Questions by @yukikinomiya

1. How do you overcome a bad monday? Good question lol

2. What’s your favourite place at home and why? My room, the feel-safe-place :) Everything in it is part of me in some way lol

3. Tea or Coffee? Hot chocolate ;)

4. What would be your ideal vacation? Hum... Going to visit Japan with closests friends, visiting monument and popular places, meet people... ~~

5. How do you start your day? Blood sugar check xD

6. Three songs to describe your life so far? Not sure again lol 

7. If you would have found your dream job, what would it be and where? Paleontologist ad anywhere is fine lol, since it’s a researcher job you move a lot and meet a lot of people outisde the pure researching job so yeah anywhere is fine ;). 

8. Ebook or Book and why? Book, paper feel good :) Books have stories, not only the ones written in them ;)

9. If you could live in a fictional world, which one would you choose and why? Hum... Any sf universe where you can explore the space and meet other spicies, it would be so interesting ! Or a fantasy cause I want my dragon friend lol

10. Star Wars or Star Trek? Star Wars but I don’t know Star Trek so much (just saw the newest movies) 

11. What would you do on a day off? lie down on bed and spend the day on YT x)

Sorry I won’t tag anyone or make question bcs Im lazy but I have a great time answering thoses <3

[wildchildfreecs]

Me and some friends came up with a Really Awful (GREAT) au, where things hurt and Gon turns dark side. I’m posting the partially edited chat log instead of summarizing ‘cause I’m lazy af, but this will be added to my Verse’s list. I just have to think of a tag

If you’re interested in RPing something from this sorta AU, please hit me up, I’d absolutely love to.

gabriel the gondad - gon is the PERFECT example of someone who could have ended up REally, REAALLLY dark but didnt, out of sheer luck of his upbringing 

can -  yeah, and if he went to hisoka for training oh my gosh

Café con Leche -  ^^ OMG i'd love to read that

can - the poor boy would do a 180

gabriel the gondad -  c h r i s t please? ? ? henckin??? ohhh man fucknign please i LOVE hisoka corrupting gons morals i love gons morals being corrupted but i love hisoka doing it even more chefs kiss and Poor Killua watching his light turn black and ugly

Café con Leche - omg yes it would corrupt him so much cain what if he tries to kill Hisoka

can - and that would make killua go back to his family

gabriel the gondad -  O h h h h

can -  omg

gabriel the gondad -  oh this is good

can -  WHAT IF HE CORRUPTS GON SO MUCH THAT

Café con Leche -  OH MY GOS

can -  GON STANDS IN BETWEEN THEM TO PROTECT HISOKA

gabriel the gondad - DFDF

Café con Leche - WHAT IF

gabriel the gondad -  GUCK

Café con Leche -  YES BUT ALSO lISTEN what if Hisoka completely fucks killua up And Gon walks in and just looks at him

gabriel the gondad - and doesnt care

Café con Leche -  all bloody on the ground YES

can -  YESSS

gabriel the gondad -  "You did this to yourself, Killua."

Café con Leche -  And Killua weeps and reaches out for him

gabriel the gondad - and gon Leaves

can -  And then cue illumi like "see this is why i said assassins dont have friends"

Café con Leche -  Illumi saves him

gabriel the gondad -  C H RI ST

Café con Leche -  and Killua goes back home clad in darkness AND OMG WHAT IF FUCKING ALLUKA TRIES TO PERSUADE GON

gabriel the gondad -  C H R I S T ALLUKA NO oh o h n o what if killua makes a wish

Café con Leche -  OOOH oh my god what if his wish brings Gon back but gon realizes what he's done

gabriel the gondad -  gon still REmembers and he wont forgive himself

Café con Leche -  and he can bear to live with himself BUT he has to save killua

gabriel the gondad -  ooooooooo c hrist c h r i s t the Drama the Pain I Love It

Café con Leche -  and hisoka and illu just keeps trying to keep tem corrupted them* and gon sees killua again and killua is just ice cold, dead in the eyes

gabriel the gondad -  WHAT IF.... KILLUA.. yes Y E S

Café con Leche -  and gon knows its all his fault it's like kite all over again f uck

can -  and hisoka is like, "this is why you shouldn't put your faith in other people~ only live for yourself and your own pleasures"

Café con Leche -  Hisoka whispering in Gon's ear how it's all his fault and he should just accept it

gabriel the gondad - this is,, So Good im eating my own fist OK BUT LISTEN CONSIDER hisoka telling gon "this is your fault. this is why you should live for only yourself" and gon turns around and punches hisoka in the face with as much nen as he can muster and says "if i live for myself, I'm killing you first." bc hisokas the one. that did this to him

can -  hisoka would be LIVID And all hisoka has to say once Gon is dead is "Pity~ He wasn't nearly as ripe as I'd hoped. Such a waste."    

Café con Leche - Imagine if killua just watches Gon and Hisoka    slowly but surely once he sees Gon near death he's returning to some of his consciousness and he cant live without his light and Illumi fucking loses it

gabriel the gondad -  c h r i s t ohhh my god

Café con Leche -  illumi tries to kill hisoka gabriel the gondad - im Suffering ok but illumi would win b/c hisoka would already be injured from his fight w gon

can -  Hisoka would retreat after that he aint dumb

Café con Leche -  illumi would chase after him

gabriel the gondad -  illumi wouldnt fuckn Let Him

Café con Leche -  make it his life mission to kill him jesus this got dark

gabriel the gondad -  YOU DONT SAY

Café con Leche -  imagine Ging seeing his son so messed up

gabriel the gondad -  o h IMAGINE MITO

Café con Leche -  mito would blame ging it's his fault he wanted to be a hunter his fault he wasnt there for him

gabriel the gondad -  ffffffffuuuuuck ok but, where gon doesnt die he beats hisoka in his fight

can -  "Kill me, and you'll be just like me~"

gabriel the gondad -  and he takes killua with him, and they leave, and they go to ging, and gon says "please help me, i dont know what to do any more" gon doesnt kill him hes Very Particuar about that breaks both his legs, rips an arm off, whatever it takes but doesnt Kill him illumi can have that right, if he wants it

Boopi -  oh

gabriel the gondad -  HI BOOPI WEVE BEEN. PLOTTING

Boopi -  plotting about wut- e.e

gabriel the gondad -  plotting about corruption

Boopi -  corruption- i- see- exiTS

gabriel the gondad -  BOOPI NO COME B A C K

Boopi -  corruption and alluka can not be within the same conversatioN-

gabriel the gondad -  listen alluka is the one who fixes everything shes still pure and wholesome

Boopi -  okay so what i understand is gon is all dark and moody and killua is suffering more gon x hisoka new evil double duo illumi and killua bonding and alluka flies down from the heavens as an angel to fix everything and re-create killugon

gabriel the gondad - she tries to recreate killugon but you cant erase the past so its still all fucked up and moody

Boopi -  does trying make it w orse cause what a twist

gabriel the gondad -  i meannnn,,,, define worse

Boopi -  dang is this au that dark

gabriel the gondad -  :^)

Boopi -  if everyone is gonna be dark/angst/whatever this is i am perfectly okey with this sad/wise alluka ftw

gabriel the gondad -  if by worse you mean it hurts, because one of the possibilies is gon and killua die but also the possibilty they win the fight against hisoka and have to deal with the fallout of all their decisions and wrongdoings or would worse be they never speak again, and both continue along their paths of killing and being perfect imitations of hisoka and illumi

Boopi -  omg allu's stuck in-between

gabriel the gondad -  :^) i, personally, think that killua would make a wish to fix everything but nanikas power isnt omnipotent all she can do is get gon to realize where he fucked up and from there, its up to him to try and fix it (whether or not he can is a completely different story.)

Boopi -  okay so how would alluka act with everything's different? shouldn't she be affected by it too

gabriel the gondad -  THATS. ALSO SOMETHIN I WAS WORRIED ABOUT

can -  i mean

Boopi -  maybe not nanika, but allu

can -  she probably will lose her brother and get locked up again

Café con Leche -  AND KILLUA DOESNT CARE AAAAAAAAAAAAH

gabriel the gondad -  yeah, unless she escapes she'll prob get locked up again

Boopi -  if killua doesn't care then illumi is free to do whatever

gabriel the gondad -  id say its possible that,, killua does what he can to free her so he can still have one light in the world like, before he goes back to the family, he hides alluka away  

can -  if killua calls her something bad like

Boopi -  "it"

can -  "that thing isnt apart of the family"

Café con Leche -  Illumi: So Killua, what do we do with "it"? Killua: .. Do whatever u want jesus but yes i hear u gabe¨

Boopi -  can you even imagine a dark alluka

gabriel the gondad -  n o

Café con Leche -  ALLUKA

gabriel the gondad -  not my gentle sweet sunshine

can -  y es

gabriel the gondad -  n o N   O

Café con Leche -  gets corrupted cuz she loses HER light

can -  she will giggle when she kills ppl

Boopi -  just an alluka that's lost hope and enjoys the killing

Café con Leche -  omg omg boopi what if Alluka get's corrupted and starts killing because she wants to be useful to Killua

Boopi -  alluka or nanika? or both

Café con Leche -  both

Boopi -  bOTH

Café con Leche -  Alluka tells Nanika to kill people and then asks Killua to pat her head aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Boopi -  just imagine Alluka's holding [insert character name]'s head here "Killua... Pat my head and tell me I'm a good girl..." and she just creepily smiles while walking towards him with the head casually omg i srry

Café con Leche -  omg what if one day she's like "Killua... Want Gon to die?"

gabriel the gondad -  O H

Boopi -  cHILL wi dark alluka refers to herself like she's an object t h o

can -  O H M Y GOD

Café con Leche -  ......... oh my go d

can -  "I'm an object that you can use, big brother~"

gabriel the gondad -  this got a w f u l l y dark

Boopi -  "Do not worry over my feelings, big brother. I feel nothing. It feels nothing." geebus christ

Café con Leche -  imagine kurapika's roll in this

gabriel the gondad -  O H pika watching gon turn into the exact type of person he despises just like the troupe trained by an ex-troupe member killing for sport, just to get stronger, just to prove he can kill them

Café con Leche -  oMG

gabriel the gondad -  OH WHAT IF.... HISOKA..... TELLS.... GON.... TO... kill his old friends

Café con Leche -  kp is a maffia boss right.... What if Killua get's a mission to assassinate him..

Boopi -  nO not the friends pls

gabriel the gondad -  LSTIEN GON KILLING LEORIO

Boopi -  NU

can -  AAAAAAAA

Café con Leche -  yas

Boopi -  NOT THE OREO

gabriel the gondad - walks Right Up to leorio, nen out and boiling like it was with pitou and oreo, poor oreo, laughing, trying to understand whats wrong

Café con Leche -  Gabe gabe gabe even worse he crushes his hands, makes him unable to ever become a doctor

gabriel the gondad -  hmmm good angst, but also, i feel like, gons goal would be to Remove leorio as a tie

Café con Leche - Sasuke style

gabriel the gondad -  i never watched shippuden :0

Boopi - sasuke tried to sever all his old bonds i think

gabriel the gondad -  yeah basically that kill everyone who was important to you,  so they cant be used against you gon, punching a hole through leorios ribcage, becase he doesnt have killuas technique of ripping the heart out so he just obliterates it instead leorio dying and looking up at gon and saying "i forgive you”

Boopi - stop you're hurting me

gabriel the gondad -  leorio WOULD forgive him tho this got really out of hand, really fast

[natural--trash]

Tag thing, wanted to do it for some time but now im at my comp and stuff so uh yeah anyways

Rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people

I was tagged by @fluffyliontae

Name: tsu (just call me that, or susu or smth yknow)

Blood type: A-

Nickname(s): susu, mym

R/s: single

Zodiac Sign: libra

Pronouns: eh whatever, on some days its he > she > they but it can also be a diff order so yeah seriously whatever floats your boat

Favorite TV Shows: W - Two Worlds (same), a Persona 5 anime could be one of them but there’s none

Long or short hair: long

Height: 162cm or so

Do you have a crush on someone: romantic none, aesthetic ones? squishes? hoo boy

What do you like about yourself: my eyes, that cute scar on my hand

Right or left handed: right

List of three favorite colors: too many, i mostly like colour combos, but light blue, black and #540003 i guess

RIGHT NOW

Eating: nothing, i had brownie ritter sport a bit earlier tho

Drinking: water

I’m about to: draw

Listening to: Believer - Imagine Dragons

Kids: 0

Get married: nah

Career: I want money

MOST RECENT

Drink: water

Phone call: i think my uncle??

Song you listened to: before Believer there’s Bonfire on my spotify playlist but rn its Queen by History

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: nah

Been cheated on: thats a long story

Kissed someone and regretted it: dont think so

Lost someone special: hmm

Been depressed: yeah

Been drunk and thrown up: never drunk alcohol

Kissed a stranger: nope

Had glasses or contacts: yeah

Had sex on the first date: nope

Broken someone’s heart: not that im aware of it

Turned someone down: kinda??

Cried when someone died: yeah

Fallen for a friend: im aro, that doesnt work

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: yes

Fallen out of love: no

Laughed until you cried: yes

Met someone who changed you: mhhh dont think so?

Found out who your true friends were: kinda (I’m sorry that I’m always answering like this omg)

Found out someone was talking about you: cant remember

Kissed someone on your fb list: i dont use fb

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: eyes

Hugs or kisses: hugs

Shorter or taller: taller

Romantic or spontaneous: platonic

Sensitive or loud: sensitive

Hookup or relationship: friendship

Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

FIRST

Best friend: have conatct with both or them but we’re not as close? although I still don’t mind lying/rolling around on his floor

Surgery: does removing my wisdom teeth count? (does it?)

Sport: swimming (I wish I hadn’t stopped)

Vacation: Turkey

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: depends on the day (same)

Miracles: yeah

Love at first sight: i dont rly believe in romantic love, but other than that yeah has flashbacks to when x impulse bought a ps vita

Heaven: i want to

EXTRAS

How many people from your fb list do you know irl: i still dont use fb

Do you have any pets: i used to have a duck

Do you want to change your name: yeah kinda i’d prefer something gender neutral

What did you do for your last birthday: i played video games at home bc i have no friends

What time did you wake up today: idk, fell asleep again

What were you doing last night at midnight: internet

Something you can’t wait for: when i move out

Last time you saw your mom: some minutes ago

What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: how my brain is sometimes

Have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah, had a classmate with that name

What’s getting on your nerves: loud noises in the morning, often ppl i dont consider as friends

instructions: You can tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people. No skipping.

(should i do the whole thing?? ok lemme get my phone pls note that i havent gotten the p5 ost yet)

Obtained a Berry! - DP OST

actually there comes some more Nintendo OST

Awake -BTS

Young Forever (unplugged ver) - BTS

crow tit (jpn) - bts

Mein Block - Sido

We don’t talk anymore - Jungkook

a song i do not remember what it was

Faint - Linkin Park

La la La - naughty boy

i think its time to make a new playlist bc i dont listen to some pop songs anymore

so uh yeah the whole thing it is

5 things you’d find in my bag:

tissues, a shit ton

wallet

probably some paper

charger

phone

5 things you’d find in my bedroom:

desk

clothes

stuffed animals

bed

my computer

5 things i always wanted to do in life:

Travelmore

Get a job i love

Own a cat

Get a life I like

Have ppl I’m close with that are not far away

5 things i’m currently into:

video games

persona 5, fire emblem heroes (they deserve their own point)

kpop

art

ummm edgesthetic?

5 things on my to do list:

go to a BTS concert

get a part time job

learn Japanese and perhaps Korean and get better at French

visit all the countries I still want to go to

get better at drawing

5 things people may not know about me:

I would love to study video game development but I’m too scared of what’s after that plus there’s no way I’ll get accepted hahaha

i love min yoongi and his mixtape bc he idk he helped me think that maybe not everything in my life will be shitty later and that maybe I’ll be able to be happy one day

I’m currently in a more down phase

i have problems with my sense of reality

i have a cute scar on my hand

Top 10 BTS Songs Tag:

  House Of Cards (Full Length Edition)

  House Of Cards [OUTRO]

  Good Day

No order from here on

4. I NEED U (Japanese Ver.) 5. FOR YOU 6. 쩔어 (Dope) 7. 등골브레이커 (Spine breaker) 8. 24/7 = Heaven 9. Blood Sweat & Tears 10. Not Today

I have time

10 groups/artists you like besides Kpop/liked before Kpop:

nqrse ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Fall Out Boy

Panic! at the Disco

DAOKO ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Casper

Die Ärzte

I think that’s it

DAT ADAM

uhh I liked Abingdon Boys School at some point

idk the old Sido songs aint bad?

10 favorite non-kpop songs:

ダイスキ - DAOKO

BANG! - DAOKO

Das Grizzly Lied - Casper

パラサイト(Parasite) - nqrse feat.まふまふ,luz  

ECHO - まふまふ (mafumafu) feat.nqrse

p much any song sung by nqrse im sorry im trash hmu and ill link you some good stuff

Believer - Imagine Dragons

Bonfire - Felix Jaehn, ALMA

Die Vergessenen 1/2 - Casper

omg i totally forgot about OSTs Toberu Mono from The Last Stiry, too much from Persona 5 liek Beneath the Mask, Last Surprise etc

10 favorite movies:

i don’t watch enough :c

10 favorite tv shows, including anime & cartoons:

W - Two Worlds

Acchi Kocchi

Psycho Pass

I’m giving up

10 things you enjoyed before kpop/enjoy besides kpop, that won’t fit in the lists above:

music

art

video games

esp atlus n nintendo games!!

cute soft stuffed animals

flight rising

sarma

collecting cute key charms

collecting cute things in general

dancing

ten tag last movie you watched: i dont know

last song you listened to:  that one song mentioned above by Daoko

last show you watched: I Hear Your Voice

last book you read: Der Vorleser by Bernhard Schlink, don’t read it

last thing you ate: chocolate

if you could be anywhere in the world right now where would you be: Tokyo

when would you time travel to: itll be spontaneous

first thing you would do with lottery money: buy a loft

character you would hang out with for a day: P5 Protagonist

time right now: 23:52

the ‘or’ tag

build a snowman with v OR have a snowball fight with j-hope

get coffee with suga OR get ice cream with suga

go to the cinema with jimin OR the amusement park with jungkook

do a dance cover with j-hope OR sing a duet with jin

kiss rap monster OR cuddle suga

babysit with jimin OR dogsit with v

meet j-hope’s family OR have v meet your family

film a commercial with j-hope OR film a sketch with v

hug jimin OR hold hands with jungkook

go to paris with jin OR go to london with suga (sorry been to paris already)

film a drama with jin OR do a photo shoot with rap monster

attend an award show with rap monster OR wear couple t-shirts at the airport with jungkook

spend a lazy day with suga OR explore a city with j-hope

fall asleep next to jimin OR wake up next to jungkook

make up a silly rap with v OR a silly choreography with jin

have a fun picnic with j-hope OR a fancy date with jin

have jungkook serenade you OR have v sing you to sleep

have a dance party with j-hope OR sing karaoke with suga

go camping with jimin and v OR go to the beach with rap monster and suga

cook with jin AND bake a cake with jimin

have a sleepover with the hyung line OR a birthday party with the maknae line

celebrate halloween with jungkook, suga, v and j-hope OR christmas with rap monster, jimin and j-hope

rules: answer the questions with the first letter of your name, then tag 10 people. If the person who tagged you has the same initial, you must use different answers. you cannot use the same word twice.

What is your name? - Tsu

A four letter word? - text

A boy’s name? - Tom

An occupation? - tailor

Something you wear? - t-shirt

A color? - turquoise

A food? - tomato

Something you find in the bathroom? - toilet

A place? - Tokyo

A reason for being late? - traffic

Something you shout? - yells

A movie title? - something that starts with “the”

Something you drink? - tea

An animal? - turtle

A type of car? - tesla

Title of a song? - Tage wie diese - die toten hosen

I’m,,, maybe later @mama-kisu @metroid-fr (you can do the non kpop stuff) eh whoever wants i guess

[perringwrites]

its really early in the morning so ill be lazy with that ask meme im sorry x) do every fifth one for the general writer one, and also do every fifth one for the character questions but starting from 1 so 1 - 6 - 11 - 16 - 21 and so on and do that for your favourite antagonist (not necessarily villain if they're not a villain) you ever wrote.

omg tia i can always count on you

writer ask meme

5. Top five formative books?

Unwind, Neal Shusterman (this book was so tense)

The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins (structure-wise, this book is the bomb)

Divergent (same as ^, structure is phenomenal)

Maximum Ride, James Patterson (the BEST book when it comes to pacing, seriously)

The Book Thief, Markus Zusak

10. Pick an author (or writing friend) to co-write a book with

Shit, honestly? @merigreenleaf​ (hope you don’t mind me tagging you?) but damn Meri’s ensemble cast is so good, ya’ll. All of you should check it out.

15. How do you deal with self-doubt when writing?

Write more!!!

20. Any advice for young writers/advice you wish someone would have given you early on?

If you really love writing, it’s something that your soul needs. It’s not just some hobby or whatever. You need it, like people need to eat, or sleep. So fight for it.

25. What’s your worldbuilding process like?

Lmao what’s worldbuilding. Jkjk. Basically I just pick stuff from the real world. All my worlds are pastiches of what I need.

30. Do you like to read books similar to your project while you’re drafting or do you stick to non-fiction/un-similar works?

I noticed that I tend to avoid books that are way too similar, because I guess it messes up my creative brain waves or whatever you call that. Just until the end of the first draft, though.

35. Post the last sentence you wrote

It’s in my notebook! I’ll edit this post once I get home.

40. Do you look up to any of your writer buddies?

Yes! There are so many of them to name but I really love all my writeblr mutuals.

45. First or third person?

Both!

50. Do you share your rough drafts or do you wait until everything is all polished?

I share the polished version of my rough drafts (mostly the first chapters) because I am a goblin who needs validation.

55. How do you manage your time/make time for writing? (do you set aside time to write every day or do you only write when you have a lot of free time?)

I try to make time, but then I mess up, and then my brain goes hhhhhhh so I pick up a pen or smth. I need to write, yo.

For the other meme I think I’ll do it in another post because this…. already long answer seems dangerous, considering this is tumblr.

[rosepaige]

sweetie, I want everything but I'm on my phone so, forgive ur Scully cause I'm too lazy to put on the symbols 😂 read: perks of being a wallflower watch: the book thief on tv, watch: "you're the worst" listen to: heavy by linkin park moodboard: mulder x scully okay, that should be it, smth nice about my day was wishing u a hb at midnight and see it made u happy 💙 ly mulder

of course I forgive you! plus i know a thing or two about laziness no worries

perks of being a wallflower is already on my list asjgkdk i really need to get my shit together and actually read it. also im really interested in watching the book thief so im gonna try this weekend. just added “you’re the worst” to my very very extended watchlist too! omg i love linkin park so much and “heavy” is so good ty <33

what a shame i never did any edit msr related, i have like the pictures ready on pinterest and everything, gonna get to it rn and i’ll tag you on it when i’m finished :)

and indeed, your message made me so happy and im so glad that i got to know you my lil scully <3 im hoping to have our txf rewatch this weekend so im working hard this week, hope you’re having a nice day!!