#and im sure i cant get in to see him for another three months if i attempted to reschedule

[roseandbee]

Apparently when my doctor puts in labs to be completed within the next year in the system it means within two weeks of when the year is up or insurance won't pay for it. They need to work on their wording of shit. Among other things 😑

[seros-girl]

something in the orange| fratboy!katsuki bakugo x f!softgirl!reader

summary: childhood competitive friends take a college cooking course together for fun. katsuki bakugo, our amazing frat boy, and y/n, our amazing soft hearted girl. katsuki has a soft spot for her, but because of his ego won't let it show. denki being denki, lets a secret spill out which can ultimately make or break your friendship with katsuki bakugo

authors note: reader is best friends with denki, sero, kyoka, and tenya!!

chapter 1: history

“cmon kats!” 6 year old you yelled out as you ran to the swings. “i’ll beat you!” he said as he picked up his pace to catch up. you reached the swings first and did your victory dance upon beating him. “who’s the loser now” you taunted and katsuki only scoffed and kicked the woodchips under him.

he walked away leaving you confused and sad. it was then your competitive friendship began. was it a friendship? you would call it that yes. he would taunt you and you’d do the same back. it got worse upon reaching middle school.

“loser i got an A” he shoved his math test in your face as he looked down at yours which said a C+. “fuck you katsuki” you said shoving him and getting up. “how are you gonna let the nerd beat you?” he taunts after you pointing over at izuku who had an A as well on his math test.

“just shut the fuck up for once” you said and walked out. it carried on like that in middle school and high school. “im applying to UA University how bout you?” you told izuku as he stammered to say he was applying there too.

“you losers wont get in, especially you princess” he teases you and you scoff. “it has a 10% acceptance rate theres no way they’ll accept the 3 of us” he said trying to reason with you. one thing about katsuki bakugo, he can be a dick to everyone including you, but there was a limit for you.

we can call it a soft spot for sure. he wont let his ego show it though. you applied anyway and three months later got the acceptance. you facetimed katsuki. “GUESS WHAT LOSER” you yelled into the camera as you held up your letter of acceptance. “I GOT IN!” you exclaimed jumping around your room.

“knew it dumbass” he smirked and held his up too. “guess we’ll be going to college together” he grumbles as if it bothers him. he’s actually glad. it means he gets to see you more.

“got a scholarship though” he brags leaning back in his chair. “for track and field no way?” you said a little bit jealous. you both were on the track team and you think youre pretty good at the events you do, but katsuki getting a scholarship is just another reason why he’s better than you.

“dont let it get out i want it to be a surprise” he winks at you and you roll your eyes. “what’d you apply as?” you ask him and he smirks. “applied for computer science and you?” he asks you. “dance” you said sheepishly as you looked at him through the camera. his face turns into one of shock.

“its hard to get into the college of dance and you got in?” he says his face turning into a smile. “yea” you said hiding your face now. “looks like you’ve one upped me this time princess” he teases and you smile. “well i gotta go katsuki congratulations” you said sincerely.

“bye congratulations to you too” he said before turning off the facetime. you blush as you got up. your stupid big crush on katsuki only growing stronger. you cant do anything about it though. which is why when you get to college, its time for boy searching.

●~*

your parents helped you settle into your dorm. what you really liked about the dorm system in this school, was 1. that it was co-ed and 2. you had a room to yourself. "hey! just popping in to see who my neighbor is!" you hear and you turn to see a tall woman with a kind smile.

"hi im y/n, its so nice to meet you! and yours?" you asked trailing off as you reached to shake her hand. "momo yayorozu, its nice to meet you too! i live to the left of you 5C on your right it's a male in 5E" she informed you. you nodded your head and smiled at her.

"well i'll see you around" she waves and walks off to the stairs. "okay were done here sweetie" your mom said grabbing her bag and you smiled at her. your other mom kissed your head and pulled you in for a hug. "have fun, but not too much" she squeezes you.

"let me walk you guys out" you said closing your dorm, locking it. you walk down the flight of stairs and when reaching the fourth floor your moms let out a gasp. "mitsuki bakugo?" they giggled as they moved to hug their longtime friend. you looked at katsuki as he stared at you confused.

"youre dorming in this building too?" he asks you bothered at the fact you chose this building. you nodded and forced your moms to leave. katsuki smirked before going into his dorm and locking it, bidding a goodbye to his mom.

you walked back up to the fifth floor and when doing so collided with two others. you looked up to see a boy with half white and half red hair and another with a mullet. “woah slow down” the one with the mullet joked.

“let me guess are you a todoroki?” you asked looking up at the boy and he sighs nodding yes. “nice to meet you” you smiled and he gave a tight lipped one back. “hanta sero” mullet boy introduces and takes your hand kissing it.

perfect, you thought.

you blushed at his actions and proceeded to tell both boys your name. “i live in 5D” you said and hanta smiled. “awesome im in 5E” he informs you and you recall momo telling you a male was to your right. “well nice to meet you neighbor” you winked and walked off. “i didnt get to tell her my name” you heard todoroki say and you giggled entering your room.

a knock was heard at your door and you moved to open it. “why are you in this building” katsuki demanded as he walked in. “welcome?” you questioned closing your door. “yeah whatever why-“ he was interrupted by a knock on your door. you opened it to see hanta and you smiled.

he leaned against your door frame and smiled at you. katsuki scoffed in annoyance. “hey señorita came to give this to you” he said handing you your wallet. you grabbed it from him thanking him.

“already have a boy over you move fast” he teased as he looked at katsuki standing not far from you. “just my childhood frenemy” you rolled your eyes looking at katsuki. “yea you interrupted something can you get the fuck out?” he grumbled and you slapped his arm.

“dont be fucking rude” you said giving him attitude and you turned back to sero. “came to ask you something too” he said nervously as he looked down at his feet and then back to you. “would you like to grab coffee sometime on campus?” he asks and you immediately nod your head.

he smiles at you bidding you a goodbye and you closed your door. “already looking for a man?” katsuki scoffed and laughed lightly. “im an 18 year old girl of course i am” you said matter of factly.

“i was thinking” he starts and you look up at him. “you haven’t registered for classes yet have you?” he asks and you nod your head. “i did but we can still add some to our schedule if we’d like” you said moving around him to place your wallet on your desk.

“they offer a cooking class for fun, wanna take it together?” he says and you can hear the smirk in his voice. “are you challenging me katsuki or do you just wanna spend time with me?” you smiled sweetly at him.

your smile made his heart melt and he covered it up by just smirking at you again. “a challenge see who gets the better grade” he said and you think about it. “deal” you said holding your hand out. he shakes it sealing the deal. “im so gonna win” he scoffs and you stick your tongue out at him.

[hoesheez]

Free Racha…

3Racha/AFAB Reader

WARNINGS: free use, unprotected sex, language

A/N: been wanting to write a fic with both studio sex and putting moans into a song, dont ask why haha

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

After dating the men of 3Racha for a few months now, you thought it was finally the perfect time to ask them something. It was something you had been thinking about for a while now, the thought of it fueled many of your late night thoughts you used to pleasure yourself. One day when the four of you were finally in the same room, you brought up your idea.

You were all hanging out in the kitchen, playing a game of UNO when you mustered up the courage to ask them. “Do you guys know what free use is?” Jisung practically choked on his drink, “Come again?” he asked as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Changbin had stifled a laugh and hid behind his cards while Chan turned to you with an eyebrow raised. “What about it?” he asked curiously.

The three men looked at you, your words caught in your throat. “Come on then,” Changbin said as he placed his hand on the table, his muscular arms flexing as he crossed them over his chest. “Yeah, tell us Y/n,” Jisung spoke next. Seeing as how you couldn’t get out of it now, you sighed and cleared your throat. “Well, I wanna try it with you guys, it really turns me on thinking about it.” The men looked at one another, “You sure?” Chan asked. With him being the first man you started dating out of the trio, he knew you more than the others did and wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting into. He placed a hand on your thigh and squeezed , “Cause Im definitely on board.” Changbin and Jisung stood up as if they’d miss out on something, “Me too!” they both said in unison. You giggled at their enthusiasm, “Cool, uhmm,” you said and stood up, walking over to Changbin and Jisung who sat on the other side of the table, “should we try it out now?” you leaned in front of them on your hands and looked at them with a devilish smirk. Changbin reached out and pulled you in for a kiss, meanwhile Chan was already behind you pulling down your pants. Changbin pulled away and began undoing his pants as you leaned over to Jisung and gave him a kiss next. “So guys, when will you both be free so we can start working on the song?” Chan asked as he licked his hand and pumped himself, getting ready to enter you from behind. By now, you were already leaning on your arms sucking off Changbin and Jisung simultaneously. “I have an appointment tomorrow, why not this weekend?” Changbin huffed as you worked on him, taking his length all the way to the back of your throat. “Cant, we’ll be at dance practice all day.” he explained as you pumped him with your free hand. The men continued to talk and go about their business as you obeyed and let them fuck you however they liked.

Ever since then, they’d use you freely whenever they wanted. Whether it be at home or in the studio. When you were alone with each of them or altogether, it was incredible. Your deepest desires finally coming true, and the men you loved sharing every experience with you.

So of course when chan texted you to come over to the studio, you knew that you’d be used and fucked exactly how you liked. Just the thought of it caused your pussy to ache with need. You got ready and decided to wear your prettiest lingerie, some tight shorts that made your ass look amazing and sprayed yourself with your most intoxicating perfume. You stopped by their favorite restaurant to get some food and hurried to the JYP building to meet your three boyfriends.

You rode the elevator up and went to your second favorite place besides home and knocked on the door. Jisung answered, looking you up and down in appreciation, but then paying more attention to the bags of food. He took them from you and let you inside, finally saying hello with a gentle kiss. Chan turned away from his computer and looked at you, then did a double take, this time looking at you longer. He tapped Changbin who was behind him on his phone. The muscular man looked up at him as if he was going to say something but then followed Chan’s eyes to where they fell on you. You watched as he bit his bottom lip and shifted in his seat. “I brought food,” you said and put your things down before coming over to give Chan a kiss. He kissed you back and held the back of your head, “You look amazing.” he whispered against your lips. You smiled and went to Changbin, who offered you a seat on his lap. You sat on his thick thighs and leant in to kiss him. He couldn’t help himself and immediately undid his pants, pulling out his thick cock for you to suck. You quickly moved on the couch, laying on your belly and taking him into your mouth. Jisung came to sit and you moved your legs up and allowed him to sit, putting your legs back on his lap after he sat down to begin eating his food. He used one of his free hands to squeeze your ass, “How’s the song coming along?” he asked with a full mouth. Chan sucked his teeth, “Its, okay,” he said with a nervous laugh. Changbin patted your head as you sucked his dick, your hands coming to tug on his balls. He moaned softly, “Should we take a break?” he suggested and Chan shook his head, “There’s really no time, we have to push through the night, we’ve got this.”

He stretched with a small groan and quickly went back to mixing sounds. Jisung tapped you to get you to move your legs and he got up and put his food down. “Lets hear what you have so far.” he said and reached around your back to unbutton your shorts and pull them down your legs. “Alright, its not very long but,” he said and a tune began playing.

It sounded great to you, but these men were professionals, anything less than perfect wasn’t good enough. So you minded your own business and continued to suck Changbin off, ready to help in any way you could. You perked your ass up to Jisung after he finished taking off your shorts. He leaned in and began kissing your rear, pulling your underwear down to get more access to your plush skin. “Its a good start, lets record some vocals and see.” Chan turned to him, “Should i just do that now? Maybe it’ll help us decide on how to finish it?” He asked between the two men. Changbin nodded, “Good idea.” he said and pushed you onto him further. You gagged and dug your nails into his taught thighs through his jeans.

Chan started to set up the microphone so he could add some vocals to the demo. Jisung had already taken his cock out and slid it against your wet folds, slapping your ass and moaning at how wet you were. You immediately pulled off of Changbin, “Harder, Sungie, please” you begged and Changbin roughly took you by the hair and shoved his cock back into your mouth. “Go on, give them another.” he groaned out as he held your head down, his dick at the back of your throat making you gag. Jisung slapped your rear again, harder this time and you squirmed under him with a moan.

Chan finished setting up the microphone and cleared his throat to begin singing . While he recorded, Jisung finally entered you, his dick dragging deliciously against your tight walls. Changbin let go of you and you inhaled deep, his cum mixed with your saliva dripped from your mouth. He removed his shirt revealing his muscular body and moved to be on his knees on the couch, much like the position Jisung was in on the other side. They had you now on either side and thrust into you roughly in tandem. You moaned deeply with a stuffed mouth as the men thrust into you hard. Chan sighed, his need to be inside of you growing. He tapped the spacebar on the keyboard and the new tune began to play.

“Wait,” he said suspiciously and played it again, “Did you guys hear that?” Changbin and Jisung stopped, as their leader played the snippet over. You payed attention to the music after the man stopped and you could hear a moan in the background of the song. “Was that?” Jisung asked and slammed into you from behind. “That actually, sounded pretty good.” Changbin said and pulled you off of him.

He moved to take Chan’s place at the computer, chan coming over to your waiting mouth and pulling himself from his shorts. “You’re moans sound so good, lets hear some more.” he entered your mouth and wasted no time in thrusting to hit the back of your throat. Jisung picked up his pace and fucked you harder, his hands gripped your rear, sure to leave beautiful marks. He huffed and moaned, thrusting faster and nearing his peak. You felt him pick up his speed, moaning loudly when he reached a hand between your legs and began rubbing your clit. You gagged and huffed on Chan’s dick, unable to move, only looking up at him with tears in your eyes. “Play it back.” he said and Changbin clicked the mouse and replayed the part he just recorded.

Your whiny moan played in the background with the baseline. The three of them looked at each other, “So, we’re doing this?” Chan asked with a laugh. You got off of him quickly, “Start recording! I’m gonna cum!” you yelped and Changbin quickly hit record and brought the microphone closer to you. You huffed out a few light moans, growing louder and louder until your orgasm washed over you. “Ahhhh!” you cried out beautifully, the boys stunned from the noise you had just made.Jisung chuckled and stuttered against you, soon reaching his peak. He sighed and leaned down, kissing the back of you neck and trailing soft kisses down your back.

Your throbbing core spasmed on his softening cock before he finally slipped out of you. Jisung then tucked himself into his pants and went to the computer to review what was going on. “Come here babe.” Chan said and he brought you by your hand to sit on his cock. Your breath hitched and he bottomed out, your hands going to his shirt and gripping hard. “Play that one back.” Chan said as you began riding the leaders cock, greedily bouncing up and down as your orgasming moans played from the computer speaker. Chan removed your top and immediately grabbed your breasts and squeezed them through your bra. “That one might be a little, too suggestive.” he pumped up into you, meeting your hips with his. Changbin and Jisung agreed and began editing it to sound more subtle. Your head rested on his chest as you moaned and whined with how good he was fucking you. “Babe,” he said softly and turned your face to his. “Thank you.” he whispered against your lips and you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him, nibbling on his lower lip before you pulled away. He lifted you up and moved you to lay on your back on the couch. He grabbed one of your legs and pulled it closer to his body, letting the other hang off of the couch.

The sounds of your soaked and messy cunt caused the other men to look over at you getting fucked. Chan was fucking you so hard, your breasts bounced wildly with every thrust. “Damn.” Changbin said and stood up, and moved closer to you to fill your open mouth with his cock once again. “Let me try something,” Jisung mumbled and sat down, turning his attention to the computer. He clicked away and worked as you got pounded behind him: Chan picked up his pace, his thrusts becoming more brutal and precise, “See if there’s some samples saved, and add some autotune.” Chan grunted through his teeth, his hips stuttering as he climaxed. His seed shot into you and he moaned, breathy and soft. The sound of his moans and his last hard thrusts caused you to cum once again, your body involuntarily pulling away from him as you couldn’t handle the overstimulation.

“Auto tune? On the moans?” Jisung asked as he turned his head to look at Chan, who was standing up and stuffing himself back into his shorts. He went over to the computer and the two of them started disagreeing on how to finish the song. Changbin pulled out of your mouth and came to help you to stand up with a strong grip on your hand, “Just do rock, paper, scissors.” Changbin suggested and the other men began playing rock, paper, scissors to see if there will be auto tune or not. “Idiots,” Changbin said under his breath and the two of you laughed.

He turned you so that your back was to him, then he lifted you up, holding your thighs and arms with his arms over you.He thrust up into you, his balls slapping against your ass loudly. The arguing men quickly noticed what was going on, their heads turning and jaws going slack as Changbin used his strength to fuck you in a full vaginal nelson.

“Ahhh fuck!.” you cried out as he fucked you fast and deep. Jisung tapped chan to start recording and put the microphone in front of you, capturing your babbles and moans for them to hear later. “Assholes,” you huffed out, feeling your body go flush, all of a sudden feeling slightly embarrassed. The men teased you and laughed with you as Changbin continued.

“Well the songs almost done, just a bit more tweaking.” Chan said and focused on his work. Jisung brought his hand to your cunt, using his fingers to rub your clit, “Good, I’m so ready to head home,” he sighed and rubbed you faster. Changbin picked up his pace, fucking you faster, “You close?” You nodded, tears falling from your eyes at this point, “Yes Binnie.” Jisung continued to rub you, and along with Changbin’s brutal thrusts, you soon came, squirting with a small scream. The youngest’s jaw dropped as he got wet in the process, “Wow! Do it again!”

Changbin soon came into you, his strong arms holding you tight as he grunted out his climax. He sighed and put you on the floor, kissing your cheek before you stumbled and fell into Jisung’s body. He held you close, “Okay fine, maybe next time.” he kissed you on the lips and brought you to sit on the couch, which soon turned into you laying on his and Changbin’s laps. Chan came over and kissed you on the forehead, “Let me clean you up.” His voice was soothing as he grabbed some tissues to clean you and gave you the spare shirt and shorts he kept in his studio for emergencies.

The four of you relaxed and ate after the intense session. Changbin massaged your legs and feet, while Jisung rubbed your head gently and occasionally bent down to kiss you. Chan sat on the floor next to you, eating his food and feeding you at the same time. Once he was done, he went over to the computer, “Ok so, this is the song so far.” The song that played through the speakers was a slow r&b track with high hats and a sample of Chans vocals, along with your occasional moans hidden in the background music. “And heres what it sounds like with autotune.” he said and played the song. It sounded horrible, definitely not as good as the first. You all agreed it was trash with a look at one another, Jisung breaking out into a contagious laugh. They teased the way your moans sounded with the note changes thanks to the tuning, something you were sure they’d never stop doing for a while. You just laughed and enjoyed the moment with them, ecstatic that they cared about you so much and that you could truly be yourself with them.

A/N: no because tell me they wouldn’t tease you relentlessly with auto tune moan jokes lmao also this definitely isn’t one of MY fantasies 👀 you have no proof!!

[billluver0124]

"you think im gonna stop?"

synopsis: bill whos worried sick finds y/n in an alleyway, on yet another bender. bill tries to help her change her ways, but will y/n ever really stop drinking? WARNINGS: heavy alcohol use, cursing, angst themes

No one really knows how it started to bloom, but y/n had a very unhealthy drinking habit. you could always spot her with an alcoholic drink in her hand, almost as if she was a magnet for alcohol. Everytime she drank she would go on a bender that would last days, weeks, one time it was a month. she had to be hospitalized that time. but even after that, she never stopped drinking. normally after people got tired of her behavior they would leave her life, but bill was different, he always stayed and took care of her.

Y/n and bill have known each other since middle school, she defended him a lot when it came to the bullying he went through in school. he was always grateful for that. them two as a duo were inseparable, stuck together like glue. it pained him to see her like this now, especially since this was a very close friend of his. Y/n was now on yet another bender, but this time it was different. normally you would catch her at a nearby bar or outside of it if the staff kicked her out. but she wasnt there. bill drove around to every bar she was a regular at, and she was nowhere to be found. where could she possibly have gone? bill thought to himself as he was growing more worried by the second. he searched all over town, for sure knowing that she couldnt have gone that far. but its been three days, anything is possible at this point.

Just as he was about to call it a night, he finds her asleep in a nearby alleyway. her clothes torn and her shirt barely on her torso. but luckily she had a carhartt jacket to keep her warm. her skin was so pale, her eye bags were so dark and she reeked of whiskey, and conveniently enough there was an empty bottle of jack daniels in her hand. she looked terrible.

"y/n get up.." bill shakes her awake, she wakes up confused. "where am i?" bill doesnt answer her, he helps her up and takes her to his car. helping her into the passenger seat and hopping in the driver's seat, continuing the drive home. As they were driving, y/n spots a bar. "can you stop at the bar? i wanna go get a drink please" the effects of the alcohol from yesterday havent even faded yet, how could she possibly want another drink? "absolutely not." bill said, his tone serious. "awh c'mon billy.." she whined drunkenly, "youre not even sober right now" "im sober enough to want another drink" y/n rolled her eyes, digging into her pocket to find three mini shot bottles in there. she smiled as she opens one and downs the entire shot. bill looking over and noticing "are you serious y/n?" bill snatches the other two bottles, throwing them out of his car side window. "what the hell bill?! i was gonna drink those!" she yelled, slurring every word "thats exactly why i threw them" he replied.

they finally reached his house, bill gets out to go help y/n inside. they get inside, bill taking her shoes off and hanging her jacket. he takes her to his couch and sits her down, sitting on the coffee table right in front of her. "we need to talk" he says, y/n not even replying. she just glared at him as he continued speaking. "im worried about you, you cant just go on these crazy benders because you feel like it y/n" he speaks, holding her hands in his to try and get her to listen. "im a grown ass woman bill, im fucking 27 years old. if i want a drink i can drink." she said bluntly, her tone was calm but she sounded like she wanted to yell at him. "this isnt just a drink y/n, this is unhealthy!" bill snapped, getting up from where he was sitting "you can and will die from this if you keep drinking for fucks sake!" he yelled, tears prickling his eyes. y/n scoffed at him, bill takes a breath attempting to calm himself "i care about you y/n, ive been the one to take care of you everytime you go on a bender. you are my best friend, youve been with me since middle school..." bill voice begins to crack "d-dont i mean something to you..?" he asked, tears spilling out of his eyes.

"you think youre special or something?" she replied, "w-what?" he asked, clearly confused by her question. "you think im gonna stop for you? just because you chose to stay doesnt mean that im just gonna quit for you." she spoke harshly, each word felt like a shatter in bills heart.

y/n gets up from the couch "y/n-" "what? you willingly chose to stay in my life bill, you have the right to leave. i didnt beg for anyone else to stay and i wont fucking beg for you either." bill grabs her wrist "please y/n, i just want you to be okay" y/n snatches his hand from her wrist "no fuck that" she said, walking over to grab her stuff "im outta here, see you around bill" she slams the door as she left, the sound of the door triggering bills tears. he flops on the couch, face in his hands as he cried. he cared so much about y/n, he knew the words she said she didnt mean; but oh god were they so painful to hear. he didnt want to see her asleep in an alleyway again. or worse, dead in a casket. bill just wanted y/n to be like the way she used to be; smiley, bubbly, kind, beautiful. she was still beautiful but now she was also mean and vile. what happened to the y/n bill once knew? will she ever come back or is she just...gone?

authors note!! omg two stories in one night? woah crazy! anyways, i enjoyed making this one and i hope you guys enjoy it too>.< love you guys<33

[rockermybuddie]

Second thoughts

Rocker x reader

Story 4

Summary: Its been five months since you were shot and you and rocker have officially dated. Its almost time for you to go back to work but theres a secret thats been keeping you awake and you’re unsure of what to do.

A/n: im not sure how many stories im going to put in this series lol.

———————

You stare up at the dark ceiling as you have for the past three months. Every night you fall asleep for two hours but is woken up by a reoccurring dream that you wish would just go away.

But its not that easy.

You pick up your phone to check the time, 4:10am. The bright light hurting your eyes you quickly put your phone down hoping it didnt wake Rocker.

“Babe?” You hear a low mumble then felt a hand pull your waist closer to the warm strong furnace laying in the bed next to you.

“Just checking the time.” You tell him giving him a small peck on the lips. You snuggle your head in the crevice of his neck and shoulder as you try to drift back off into sleep.

You sit up in a dripping sweat, trying to catch your breath. You look over and see Rocker asleep facing the other way.

“Damn it.” You mutter out, you just had another one of those dreams in the same night. You grab your stomach, where your were shot, as you check the time. 5:07. Almost an hour since the last one.

Rocker is about to wake up for work so instead of trying to go back to sleep or pretending that you’re asleep when Rocker wakes up. You decide to go make him some breakfast.

As you stand infront of the hot stove you feel two arms wrap around you and all of a sudden its a hundred degrees in the room.

“Whats all this?” Rocker asks, his voice still raspy from sleep. ���Breakfast for my favorite human being.” You answer. Rock plants a fat sloppy wet kiss on your neck as he leaves to get the orange juice from the fridge.

The two of you sat at the table and ate breakfast together as you thought about where you are in life.

Not where you want to be.

Rocker got ready for work and the two of you said your goodbyes. You watched Rocker back out of the drive way and watched him all the way down the road intill you couldn’t see him anymore.

You head back into the kitchen to clean up after breakfast. As you’re doing the dishes you get a flashback from the bank robbery.

“Ahh!” You scream as you grab your stomach in pain. You stumble backwards falling to the floor.

——

When you open your eyes you see the floor and broken glass infront of you. Your head is pounding, lifting your hand to try to rub the pain away in your head you see blood dripping down your arm from the palm of your hand.

“Shit.” You mutter as you grab the hand towel hanging from the door and wrap your hand it.

The room is spinning, so its not a good idea to stand up but you dont want to call Rocker either. Not when hes at work, he’ll just worry about you and he cant do that, he needs to be focused.

You pull out your phone and call the next person that comes to your mind. “The key is under the plant.” You tell him.

Only 10 minutes later Deacon comes walking in the kitchen. He sees the broken glass and blood on the floor. “What happened?” He asks kneeling down beside you.

He looks at the giant bump and bruise forming on your head and then at the bloody towel wrapped around your hand.

“I dont know. I fell. Thats all i can remember.” You tell him. “I’m taking you to the hospital.” Deacon scoops you up in his arms and carries you to his car.

He pulls out his phone. “Please dont call Rocker.” You ask him. He looks at you with concern and confusion. “Im calling Hondo.” He tells you.

You lay your head against the window as he turns on his lights and sirens.

At the hospital they stitched up your hand, 20 stitches. They said you have a grade 2 concussion. You just need to rest and you should be fine in a few days.

“What happened?” Deacon asks again when the two of you get in the car. “I told you, I don’t know.” You tell him, not wanting to have this conversation.

“You were supposed to return back to work in a few days, then this happens? I dont think thats a coincidence.” Deacon says. You let out a heavy breath, Deacon is good at reading people he knows you are hiding something.

You were about to talk to him but his phone rang.

“Its Hondo.” He says before answering it.

“They need me back at HQ. I don’t have time to drop you back off at Rockers.” He says apologetically as he drives to HQ.

You hope Rocker is out on a call.

———

You and Deacon pull up to HQ, he gets out and heads in to the main roon as you walk in slowly behind him.

The doctors gave you some pain meds that are making you a little loopy. As you turn the corner you stumble into something but are caught by two strong arms.

“Sweetheart? What are you doing here?” A familiar voice asks. “Rocker?” You mumble.

He gets you steady on your feet and lifts your face up by your chin with his fingers. “What happened to you?!” He asks when he sees the bump and brusing on your face.

“I fell. But im okay.” You tell him. “Well maybe not my hand. It has 20 stitches in it.” You let out a small laugh as you lift your bandage hand.

“Why didnt you call me? Did you drive yourself?!” Rocker asks concerned as he hopes you didn’t drive yourself to the hospital and then here.

“I didnt want to worry you while you are at work. I called Deacon.” You point at the meeting hes in but hes focused on what Hicks is telling 20 squad.

“I’m taking you home. Stay here.” Rocker orders as he sets you down on some creat in the hallway.

He leaves to tell Hicks is done for the shift that theres a family emergency. He leaves his 60-david in charge of the team.

———-

When you and Rocker arrive back at his house he carries you up to the bedroom. He places a glass of water next to you as he goes back downstairs and cleans up the kitchen.

Rocker soon comes back upstairs and makes himself comfortable on the bed bringing you in close to him.

“What happened? How did you get hurt?” He asks.

“I dont remember. I just remember waking up on the floor.” You tell him.

“Did you black out? Did you trip?” He asks. “I said i dont remember.” You snap. “Okay. Okay.” Rocker rubs your arm with his hand as he kisses the top of your head.

This is why you didnt call Rocker. He should be at work right now, not sitting in a bed with someone who doesn’t know whats going on in her life.

——-

You’re sitting on the couch downstairs, its 2am and you cant sleep because theres too much going on in your brain.

“I dont know. Im having second thoughts about it. What should I do?” You ask balancing the phone between your ear and shoulder as you fidget with your fingers.

Rocker sits at the bottom of the steps and listens.

“What if I regret it?” You ask. “Who are you talking to?” Rockers voice makes you jump, you look up at him and he looks aggravated? Mad? Tired? You arent sure.

He grabs your phone and sees Deacons name across the screen. “She’ll call you back.” Rocker says into the phone and hangs up.

“What the hell?!” You scream, you try to snatch your phone back but he lifts it above his head. “You are so childish.” You snap at him.

“We need to talk.” Rocker finally says. “Rocker you didnt hear the whole conversation.” You tell him.

“I heard enough.” He says, he walks around the couch and sits down. Leaving a gap between you and him. You don’t mind though, not with the way he’s acting.

“Are you breaking up with me?” He asks. “What? No.” You say. You can see the relief fill his face.

Youbtell Rocker you’re unsure if you want to join SWAT back.

“Did you hurt yourself on purpose so you didnt have to go back to work?” Rocker asks, a hince of concern in his voice. “No. Why does everyone think that.” You rub you face in your hands.

“Everyone?” Rocker asks feeling more left out than he already does. “By everyone, i mean Deacon. Rocker i only called him and talked to him because hes like an older brother to me. He has helped me before and i just feel comfortable talking to him about life decisions.” You tell him.

“I understand. Just know im always here for you.” Rocker tells you. “I know.” You give him a small smile.

The two of you talk more about you returning back to SWAT.

——

A/n: This is probably gonna be the last story to this series. It went better in my head i just couldn’t write it as good as i had hoped. The stories just arent doing as well as my others, so im just going to stick with writing 911 stories.

For those who read these, thank you so much! Means a lot to me <3 i promise.

[reorientation]

okay nothing in this world has ever made me flood with need the way seeing my asks linked and tagged as 'respect anon' did. little update - ive been getting railed so often (11 times total now since mid november) that i have a bruised cervix. it hurts in such a delicious way, makes me hyperaware of what i am, almost feels reminiscent of cramps.

my original hookup ive now seen six times, and he wants to see me once a week minimum. the way he murmurs "good girl" so encouragingly to me, his strength, and the insanely erotic feeling of him breeding me, have all bewitched me. the texture of semen exploding into a wet cunt is so unique and im obsessed, its a different consistency from my own wetness, so i can always feel the exact moment hes fucking his sperm into my fertile body, even when i dont feel him throbbing through it (which i usually can).

other than him, ive fucked four other guys in the last month. each and every one of them came in me bare. i hoped a few times would sate me but if anything its fanning the flames. on my neediest day i had three guys come over one after another to fill me, the first was my original guy, and the other two were completely random, and they all treated me so perfectly honestly.

the third one in particular fulfilled my need to have a real man coax me into admitting my real name, he fucked me hard and fast and used his filthy tongue to slip into my subconscious mind and loosen my inhibitions until he got it out of me. then he used it over and over again while he fucked a baby into me, slapped my well-bred pussy till i begged him to stop, then held me so tightly. i felt so dazed and safe and feminine in his arms.

it feels so good to have a man respect me enough to give me what i really need, especially when im being brave enough to ask for something i was so afraid to even acknowledge about myself. and it especially feels good when he looks right into my eyes while pounding me and reminding me of the truth.

fuck sorry for multiple asks i literally just cannot stop thinking about being dubbed 'respect anon' its driving me crazy. i can feel my pulse everywhere, but it seems to pool in the places that make me a woman: my clit, my pussy lips, my aching dripping vagina, and my breasts. i can feel my pulse in my fucking nipples. and also usually my temples but thats off theme.

i cant get over how good it feels to be fucked. i never in a million years expected how endlessly perfect it would be, ive found partners that emanate joy together with me and its so much fun and so erotic. the original guy in particular, just takes so much joy in fixing me and in enjoying my cunt, i often end up watching the filthy reactions on his face as he watches my pussy clench around him. he watches us join together as one, my cunt singing with pleasure, i always ask him if theres anything else i can do for him and he almost always says "lay back and take it." like, yes sir!

once i was riding him and his hands were clenching my hips tight, i love riding because it makes my breasts bounce and heave so deliciously. he was staring at them, i was moaning like a bitch in heat feeling him stretch me out in an angle we dont normally do, and suddenly he looked me in the eye and said "you have a womans body." swear if id been on my back i would have orgasmed right then and there. he sometimes goes back and forth in what gendered terms he uses and it keeps my mind spinning with confusion and desperation. we are both bi and im pretty sure our current dynamic is heaven for us both.

there are so many filthy details i want to share with you. feels like i could babble all day about the things that have happened, but it all boils down to this: im a woman, obsessed with taking cock, finally letting herself enjoy some wonderful company, and it wont be long until im the sluttiest pregnant girl grindr has ever seen, hahahah.

respect anon back with one last thought because ive been obsessively rereading your two responses to me so far. when i begged him to refeminize me, "it doesn't even sound like he was surprised." nope! in fact he laughed at me, he laughed and said "fuuck yes." in that moment, i knew that he had already known, and was waiting to see if id admit it. with him, i have this manic energy where i come off completely insane over text, and his steady energy only serves to wind me up more. i think he knew id cave and beg to be detransitioned, my pics are all pretty high femme and lets just say im not ever subtle about my femininity.

the weird thing is, i only have that manic energy with him. i dont know if its because hes genuinely the hottest guy ive ever met, or because he took my virginity, or because he succeeded in breaking my mind. but the other guys ive slept with, while they blow my mind and show me what im for, i dont make such a fool of myself to them.

genuinely with him i have lost all semblance of self-respect and it proves right everything he has ever whispered into my ear.

(Previously)

All that fun you've been having, going from being a virgin to getting inseminated by five different men within a couple months - and nothing ever made you flood like my tagging system? I'm very flattered, Anon! A bit bemused, but flattered.

So much to speak to here, but one part I truly love is that your new life as a woman started with the first man to use your pussy laughing at you. Like your whole identity as a man had been one long joke you were telling, and you'd finally gotten to the punchline.

That's what real respect looks like for you, isn't it, Anon? A man who'll wait for you to finish telling the joke before he laughs.

And the man who made you tell him your real name while he fucked you full of cum... There's a pleasing symmetry to that. He got something out of you and put something into you. He learned what they called you when you were born, and maybe gave you a baby to call your own.

Which is what you're made for, after all. Your body never stops reminding you of that, whether it's with the pain of a bruised cervix or your blood pulsing in your swollen nipples or the unstoppable pleasure of taking a man's cum in your womb. It's little wonder that you've come so far since getting fucked for the first time, little lady: your body was just waiting for the chance to start.

[mars101]

❝ Insomnia ❞

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☆ PAIRING = ex!seonghwa x ex!reader

☆ GENRE = second chances, ex's to ???

☆ WARNINGS = slight angst, talks of miscommunication, mentions of food, they fall down a hill (😭), the pov confusing and idk either

☆ WORD COUNT = 4.8k

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★ SYNOPSIS = communication or the lack of was the reason that brought you and seonghwa apart, your friends hope that a single conversation in a locked room will bring you two back together.

★ RELEASE DATE = 10/09/23

★ SONG INSPO = insomnia -> yukika

★ AUTHOR'S NOTE = im finally done with this damn oneshot, i cant omg. months of quitting and regaining my inspiration finally payed off… ok pls have fun reading, sunny's an oc btw ok antyways happy reads !! <33

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Act 1: Our Present

"I know you two were once in love."

"So where's the place?"

Mumbles are heard through the phone as Hongjoong starts to walk towards the window. "Turn your stereo down and maybe you'll finally hear me. Are you sure you're actually here?" his words are stretched out as he cranes his neck to look out into the street. The gps on your phone continues to say one minute away, you roll your eyes as it's been saying that for the last four minutes.

"Y/n. There's three cars outside alright?-" 'Okay" "We are the third house from the top of the hill-" "Why so high?" "And then Wooyoung and... oh wait.. Wooyoung and Seonghwa should be outside."

The car goes silent as now the only thing you hear is the soft rumbling of the car and the faint sounds of the music you turned down earlier. I mean you knew you were going to see him eventually but you didn't think it'll be this soon.

"Do you want me to make an excuse for him to come inside?"

Hongjoong's question brought you out of your silence, "No no, I mean it's been a year now, I should be alright." Keyword: "Should". It seems that after he said that, the house your friends had rented popped into view as you see the two mentioned.

"Oh is that you-" "Okay bye." You hang up on Hongjoong as Wooyoung starts to wave at you in the car, for someone who drove for two hours he looks far too cheerful. To his right was him. The smile that kept you up at night plastered on his face as you two kept the eye contact for longer than the eye contact for exes should be.

"Y/n noona!, lower the window!!"

"Wooyoung, you don't need to yell when you are right outside the window" said boy instantly leans into the car once the window is fully rolled down, already making himself comfortable. "So what? I just wanted to talk to you, it's been too longgg" he was dragging out his words as his bottom lip poked out.

You poked his forehead as you gestured him to move away, "Woo, I was at your birthday party two months ago. Now move it's cold, some people want to go inside." Wooyoung let you turn your car off as he went to the trunk of your car to help you bring stuff in. (it was only three things)

As you stepped out of your car you heard another set of footsteps come near you. The breath gets caught in your throat as you already know who's going to be behind you. The soft and clean scent still follows him after a year, oh how much you missed it.

"Do you need any help?" The sparkle in his eyes as he looks down at you has you wondering if this is real or a dream. Even at Wooyoung's birthday you were having a hard time even looking at him from across the room, but now that he's right in front of you it's making you feel as if every single emotion you've once felt with him is coming back like like a storm.

"Oh, I- Uh- I think-" "Hyung, I left the heavy things for you" Wooyoung makes eye-contact with you and he sends a wink your way. As you turn back to Seonghwa you notice he's looking at your necklace. His necklace that he gave you for your first anniversary. "Well uh, I think you can help me with the bag then."

The first few steps you two took to the trunk of your car was so awkward as you both didn't know what to say. "So, how have you been? I would've talked to you before at Wooyoung's party but I was too scared honestly", "You? Scared?" You couldn't help but to stare at him as a small smirk grew on his face. "Wait, I wouldn't say scared then, maybe just nervous,"

As he handed you your smaller bag and pulled out the bigger bag you also noticed something. A watch. The watch you gave him on that same anniversary.

knock knock knock

"Oh god, what are the kids doing up there.." You follow the direction of his eyes which is where the knocks came from as you see the 99's now scolding San for knocking at the window. "I think we should go inside now, Wooyoung started to eat your snacks." His pointed finger leads to Wooyoung inside flailing the bag of chips around as he walks in a circle around the poor boy.

The place they rented was big, but it felt full with the light music that was playing from Jongho's speaker and the sounds of yelling from the dining area.

You feel Seonghwa take your bag from your shoulder as his warm hand lingers just a bit longer than needed. "Y/n, I'll bring this to your room. Ah, Joong told you that you're rooming with Sunny right?" You nod remembering that it was actually said girl who texted you after months, excited that the two of you will be sharing a room.

"Yeah yeah. I'll be over there greeting everyone so.." The words trail away as it becomes silent again but the man in front of you keeps his smile as he turns you around pushing you lightly towards where everyone is.

The noise becomes louder as you step into the room, only Hongjoong and Jongho seems to notice you as the rest excluding Yeosang and Sunny are somewhere else.

"Hey hey!" The younger of the two raises his hand as a greeting as you give the other a hug. "Hi to our Jongho~ and bye to this loser over here", "Loser?? Did you forget who won the race to the rest station?", "Race??? You only said that after you got there!"

Out of all the people here (there's only 10 including you) you’ve known these two the longest. Meeting both Hongjoong and Jongho in the gym class that included each grade during high school. After beating the two in the class run, races for literally anything has become apart of your friendship.

“Alright alright we already have one argument going on we don’t need another…Noona you were the latest to arrive here though..” A smack on the boy’s shoulder followed with a chuckle from him made you realize. Why are those four still arguing?

“What are they talking about?” As you pushed yourself up onto the counter the two had been sitting on Hongjoong puts his arm around your shoulders slightly shaking you. “How San ruined the moment you and Seonghwa had out there” “M-moment, we were just- he was just helping me with my bags.”

He turned his head to Jongho who’s shaking his head in disagreement with the other, “Hyung. That is not a “moment” the two couldn’t even hold eye contact for that long.” “Exactly why it was a moment. The two were so shy after seeing each other they couldn’t look into each other’s shining eyes.” He turns to you teasingly batting his eyelashes.

You push him off you as the three of you are left with smiles on your faces, then eye-contact is shared with the boy who has been scolded for the last 5 minutes. A yelp is let out from him as he finally sees you entered the room. “Ahhh, when did you get in here???”

The three boys freeze then look at where San was looking at. As you wave to them Mingi seems to be startled too when he flinched grabbing onto Yunho's arm for support. “Y/n noona!! It's so nice to see you again!” Yunho said shaking Mingi's arm off heading towards you for a hug.

“I was so worried that you wouldn't come this year, I remember that one year where you didn't come and- Oh, did you hear about what I said about Seonghwa hyung earlier?” His face fell in realization that you were there for most of their banter.

“Oh come on, you know I always used to block out your petty arguements.” he let out a breath as you lightly punched his shoulder. “Noona it's good that you didn't hear what Yunho said because he was always there when Seonghwa-”

Mingi's mouth was covered with a slap by Wooyoung who started to drag the poor boy out of the room. “Oh hey, where's Yeosang? I think we should go look for him, right Mingi? Okay see you guys later”

Silence was shared with you five still in the room until San broke it, “That guy needs to work on his exits.”

As they now lead into a more civilized conversation you head out of the room to where you will be staying. When you enter the room you see Sunny laying on her bed with a half cleared out suitcase on the floor.

“Y/n!!!” The bright girl practically jumps up from the bed to engulf you in a warm hug. “Sunnyyy we were talking not that long ago” the smile on you face being heard as the girl was always so nice to you.

“Hon. I think a month is a long time ago, are you feeling alright here?” She pulls away from the hug slightly keeping her arms around you. “Because like.. you know who is here..”

“Sunny. You can say his name you know? And you were always closer to him than you were with me” the two of you then sit on the bed you were going to be sleeping on.

Her hands are soft as they caress your own, “Yeah I know but..” The breath she takes in makes you worried about her next words.

“Look, I'm not sure what happened to the two of you. But I know that you were once in love, love is something hard to get rid of once its happened and so I hope you'll be comfortable here.”

Act 2: Our Past

"I just reached for you without thinking,"

The next day you all were headed to the ski resort which was near the place you guys had rented out. The 10 of you were split into cars with Seonghwa and Hongjoong being the designated drivers for the 2 cars. During the car ride there, which was only twenty minutes, the two sitting next to you were Sunny and Yeosang. Next to Hongjoong in the front of the car was Jongho who claimed the seat by "falling asleep" as soon as he hit the chair.

"Soooo, have you been dating recently?" the girl to your right says as you pick your head off the window. "Not really," "Why?", Yeosang then pokes his head out from his spot next to Sunny as the two now look at you as if they're scheming something. Hongjoong looks back through the mirror as his eyebrows furrow at the two, "Why are you two so-", "Noona's been single for too long" Jongho cuts him off as he talks in a sleepy voice.

"Jongho you're awake?" Sunny leans her head to the front trying to see him. "I'm sleep talking."

Before Sunny can react to his statement Yeosang puts his arm in front of her to pull her back as he tells you, "Noona, it's been too long since we've talked to you so we just want to catch up!". As he says that, Sunny leans on you making herself comfortable on your shoulder, "Yeah hon, a lot can happen in 10 months."

"But then again nothing can happen in 10 months too," you lay your head on hers as Hongjoong starts to pull the car into the place. "It's been hard finding someone new, because these days no one is... what's the word..? Uhhh-"

knock knock knock

The knocks on the window startle you as both you and Sunny jump. "AH JUNG WOOYOUNG!" He waves behind the window as everyone else starts to exit the car. Wooyoung opens the door for you and Sunny acting like he didn't just startle the two of you.

As Sunny starts to chase him like they're kids again, you head over to where a majority of your friends are. "Ah, Y/n noona, what do you think?" Yunho asks as he bumps his arm on your side. "Do we eat first or should we go and snowboard?"

"Eat? But we just ate breakfast earlier?-" , "Guys, you see that! That's why we should go snowboard first!" You anticipate the upcoming debate between the group as you look around for where the usual peacemakers are.

Both Seonghwa and Hongjoong are taking pictures by the entrance as you decide to walk towards them. Seonghwa watches your every move towards them as a smile grows on his face, "Seonghwa!! Good smile, this picture will turn out perfect"

By the time you reach them Hongjoong is on the ground getting the perfect angle and Seonghwa waves you over to come next to him. Hongjoong notices this and turns his head, "Oh Y/n join the picture, I just got the perfect angle"

The man on the floor makes you feel as if you're on the cover of Vogue with the way he seems to snap a pic every split second. The blinding flash from his phone is as bright as the white snow everywhere. "Alright alright, you took a lot of pictures already." Next to you Seonghwa brings up a hand to block your eyes from the light.

"Ah wait wait. Just one more..?"

You held the hand in front of your view bringing it down to look at your friend but something behind him takes your attention. "Oh not again.."

The three of you looked at each other before you went over to the booming crowd of your friends. Their voices carrying through-out the entrance (which you're all still in by the way).

"No! I'm telling you, eating first is better before skiing!!"

"Wooyoung-ah I love you but no-"

"Ah ah kids be quiet. What do you guys think?"

Seonghwa looked at you as you shrugged at him gesturing him to just answer, "uhh I think we should just go ski or snowboard first because we already ate earlier."

"Wow of course the two love birds say the same thing."

...

....

Sunny....

The once noisy group of friends were now silent as everyone stared at Sunny who now seemed to realize what she said. In a panic she bursts out in a laugh at the awkwardness that she created, the others joined in slowly as they look around for something more interesting.

Hongjoong, who was deep in thought the whole time broke the awkwardness, "Why don't we just split up? The ones who want to eat go eat first and the others go skiing and snowboarding first." Murmurs of agreement went around as some felt embarrassed because of the simple solution.

"Okay then byebye~~" Sunny was the first to head inside the building to eat dragging Hongjoong with her. You felt something (or someone) get pulled away from your hands as Jongho put himself between you and Seonghwa, "You young people are so cute holding hands"

A smack on both of his shoulders from the two of you came after his comment with the tall duo snickering at the side. The three of them went on forward into the place as you and Seonghwa were left side by side.

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"Did you ever want to see what'll happen if you fall off this swing?"

"Ask another stupid question and I'll push you off your seat."

Your foot that isn't connected to the snowboard you rented knocked into the boy's foot next to you. Jongho was seated in between you and Seonghwa, Mingi and Yunho were in the row in front of you guys and kept on turning around occasionally to wave at you three.

Behind the seat your arm and Seonghwa's kept on bumping into each other. In a way, they were like magnets wanting to stay together. "Oh my what is this?"

The younger one put the two of your arms together as he then layed on it, "My arm rests are back," His comment made the two of you scoff but the proud expression on his face was too cute to make you mad.

Seonghwa made eye contact with you before the two of you made a silent agreement. "Oh is the baby happy??" Seonghwa ruffled the boy's hair as you pinched his cheek, "Aww, our baby is so so happy"

"Alright alright, I'll get off," his pouted look made you lean him onto your shoulder. Another wave was sent towards Mingi who turned around again as a squeeze was felt from Seonghwa's hand which was still on your arm.

Jongho let out an exaggerated sigh as you locked eyes with Seonghwa, "Honestly.. I missed this," he mumbled into your shoulder. "Missed what?"

"Well, this. I missed when you two would act like my parents." you used your other hand to pat his head while your eyes stayed locked on Seonghwa's. "I missed it too Jong."

The eye contact was broken as you heard a loud laugh from Yunho after it seemed Mingi fell forward when getting off his seat. "Man I hate this part the most." With a grunt you jumped off the slow swing with the other two following.

While pushing yourselfs forward Jongho proposed an idea. "Let's have a race down the slope," Yunho was the first to answer with a nudge of his arm, "Okay~ I'm in!"

Mingi puts his arms around the two boys pushing his head on theirs, "Loser pays for food later, right?", "Of course loser pays!," your voice is a bit muffled as you're leaned over with your hand on Seonghwa for support as you put your other foot in the board.

"You guys can do your race and I'll just pay later."

"Oh, hyung why? Is it because you're the only one who picked skiing?"

"What? No, I'm just too slow so-"

The things that happened next were so quick that you could miss it if you weren't paying attention. And you were definitely not focused on the conversation happening.

“Ayyy Seonghwa hyung that doesn't matter, you can still— OH NO!” Jongho paired his words with what was supposed to be a light punch on the shoulder but the boy forgot his own strength.

Your hand still holding onto Seonghwa was pulled as he fell from the impact of Jongho's “light” punch. A wave of profanities escaped your mouth as the two of you rolled down the hill. The male wrapped his arms around you tightly as he repeatedly apologized while keeping a protective hand behind your head.

Luckily your fall stopped before you made the halfway mark of the hill. As you got off of Seonghwa and sat up the words that were going to come out of your mouth halted as his hand slowly ruffled the snow out of your hair.

“Are you okay?” his question snapped you out of your trance as you slapped his hand away, “Of course I'm not.. you didn't need to drag me down with you…” Despite the harsh slap from you he continued to help brush the snow off you.

You let him as the silence engulfed the two of you again, but this time it felt comfortable. The sounds of your breathing was all you heard as you stared at the man in front of you. His features are still as beautiful as they were the last time you admired him.

As his hand went from your hair to your cheek, the two of you locked eyes. “W-why did you pull me down with you..?” The intense eye contact made you nervous as the two of you slowly leaned in.

His nose was eventually touching yours and his warm breath which contrasted the cold air around you radiated on your lips. Before the small gap was closed between you he used his other hand to hold yours as he answered your question.

“I just reached for you without thinking..”

Act 3: Our Future

“More like too late.”

"So..?"

"So what?"

“Oh come on, you think I wouldn't notice when two of my best friends all of a sudden become awkward and nervous with each other, well.. again.”

You and Hongjoong were in the small office that the rented house had, it was late and after the ski resort him and Sunny noticed your mood changes. The couch you two were sitting on was small, meaning there was no space between you two during the conversation.

“Jongho pushed Seonghwa and he dragged me with him down the hill.”

The couch started to shake a little as the man next to you tried to hold in his laughter. Eventually his shakes became giggles and giggles became a full on cackle.

“Are you done yet?”

“No of course not, that's hilarious,”

His laughter continued for a bit until he finally calmed down, manually breathing in and out to control himself before he loses his composure again.

“Alright okay, is that it? I mean falling down a hill together can be embarassing..”

“We kissed.”

The slow fade from a smile to a shocked expression on Hongjoong's face almost scared you with how his whole body melted as his hand even grabbbed onto you for support.

He shook his head to get his thoughts back together as you started to get nervous.

“Well it wasn't really a kiss kiss though, it was only a few seconds because I heard the others coming down the hill after us and-”

“OH MY GOD.”

Your rambling was cut off as Hongjoong now started to freak out, “YOU KISSED?? HOW? WHY? WHAT?”

“Joong. The kiss was probably an in the moment action. It probably meant nothing to him.”

Your voice drifted off as you unknowingly held onto your necklace. Hongjoong notices this and recognizes the necklace that Seonghwa gave you.

“But it meant something to you didn’t it?” he took your silence as an answer as he asked another question, “You still love him don’t you?”

“Of course I still do, we were together for over two years and known each other for longer but our relationship ended in such a regretful way.”

Just as Hongjoong’s hand was about to comfort your shoulder there was a knock at the door. Sunny’s head poked through the door as she smiled at you and gestured for Hongjoong to come out the room, “Oh, I’ll be back Y/n.” when Hongjoong left the room another person was pushed into the room.

The door behind Seonghwa was slammed shut as he was in panic because of the forceful entrance. You watched in confusion as he tries to jiggle the door knob that is being held on the outside by Sunny. Seonghwa gives up with a sigh and turns to you, eyes full of longing as are yours too.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

…..

The room was filled with silence, the only thing heard was the sounds of your breaths. Seonghwa walked closer and sat right next to you. His scent engulfs you as there’s little space between you two. When you turn to look at him, he’s already looking at you.

“I’m sorry about that kiss earlier. I think I just.. missed us.”

You can’t help but to stay silent after his statement, your head was now lowered as your eyes shut.

“Y/n.. why’d you leave me?

“Because you left me first.”

The words were barely audible as they came out of your mouth, but you know he heard it as Seonghwa looked at you with a mixture of sadness and regret in his eyes, and you felt your heart ache at the sight. For a moment, it was as if you were transported back in time to the day when everything ended between you two.

Seonghwa's voice wavered slightly as he spoke, his confusion evident. "Left you? What? It... it was you who ended things between us, Y/n."

“Seonghwa.. did you not realize how much you distanced yourself from me? The last few weeks of our relationship was filled of you practically ignoring me at some points.” Seonghwa's eyes were glimmering in confusion and guilt.

Your gaze softened, and you let out a sigh, leaning back against the couch. The words seemed to hang in the air, a mix of memories and emotions swirling around you both. "I guess we remember our last months together differently..."

Seonghwa kept his eyes on you even when the eye contact was broken as his words were filled with sincerity. “Y/n, I love you. But I was second-guessing myself and thinking I was too clingy and too pushy with you. I was distancing myself to make you less uncomfortable.”

“Why didn't you just talk to me..? Even when I broke up with you, you could have at least said something” You feel your voice waver as it starts to get hard to get words out of your mouth.

“I just wanted what you wanted..”

“But all I wanted was you.”

As those words leave your lips, you feel a few tears run down your face. At the sight of them Seonghwa lets his own tears run free too, he brings his hands to your face to wipe them away and at his touch you break down on him.

He pulls you into a hug as your tears start to soak his t-shirt and his own get lost in your hair. Your arms wrap around him, longing for this feeling again for months. “I never wanted to leave you hwa..” Seonghwa plants a small peck on the top of your head, “I know y/n, I know darling..”

“I should've just talked to you.. I don't know why but I was so scared, I didn't want to lose you. But turns out not even saying something made us break up anyways…” You feel Seonghwa’s hand caress your back while he talks which makes you melt into his touch.

“I'm sorry hwa, I still love you. Never stopped..” You stay quiet after saying that, wanting to bask in the feeling of being close to him again. In a cold room there's the embers of the flame growing again between the two of you.

“Y/n… would you let me take you out again after this trip? On a date.. we can wait a few more days of talking again before you say—”

“I'll go on a date with you Seonghwa and we’ll hold hands and hug and kiss and-” Before you can finish your sentence he pecks your lips, “Too soon?” Seonghwa looks into your eyes with stars in his.

The tears in your eyes from earlier faded away as the grin on your face replaced them. Your hands go to rest on his cheeks as they start to glow a pretty pink. Your noses start to tickle each other as you pull him closer, breath feathering on each others lips.

“More like too late.”

★☆★ AUTHOR'S GOODBYE = AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!! i took so long to write this one-shot that i literally got into and out of a relationship twice… and omg i was supposed to finish this by January but its october now ;-; but anyways thank you for reading! YAYAYAY

☆★☆ TAG LIST = @loonaluvz @sanasour @boomhoon

[criswritessometimes]

sesame allergy

contents - reader and ted are dating, gn!reader, reader gets a food allergy but it's nothing serious

author's note // hi! all my classes are on zoom because of the southern snow and I wrote this in my art history class. also big thank you to my roommate for telling me about her sesame allergy.

you and ted had been trying to plan a date night for close to a month, but it kept being pushed back due to both of your jobs and commitments. you didn’t mind, though; you still got to see him every day after work. however, tonight was the night, and neither of you had any commitments for the evening besides each other. the day was fine; your manager made you rework a timesheet for your team twice, which was frustrating but not the end of the world; you were still thinking about tonight with ted. as you were working on your next task, you got a call on your phone from your manager. you answer, “hello?” “hey (y/n), can you come into my office? I need to talk to you about this timesheet,” she tells you. you agree and walk into her office. you open the door and see her at her desk. “so i need you to redo this time sheet for next month; we’re letting go of josh and connor next week.” there was a small shock on your body; this was work you, and your team would have to pick up. “um yeah sure, of course.” you reply trying to not let her see the shock on your face. you walk back to your desk to start another new time sheet, looking down at your watch as well. it was 4:32 pm already. this time sheet would take at least an hour, and then it would be at least a thirty-minute drive home. you text ted to update him.

susan is making me do another timesheet. idk when im gonna be home :(

to: ted

seen 4:35 pm

i can get takeout for tonight?

to: (y/n)

seen 4:35 pm

ooo can we try the new place down the street?

to: ted 

seen 4:36 pm

already put the order in baby

to: (y/n)

seen 4:36 pm

ted sends you the order he put in for the new chinese place down the street, and you smile as you see he put ‘no sesame seeds/oil’ on his meal, meaning he would let you have some. you put your phone down and get to work, fixing the timesheet for the next quarter and finishing up the other timetables before you’re able to go home. you save and close everything at 5:16 pm, not as bad as you thought. the drive home is uneventful just full of traffic. one of the reasons you liked your office is because they let you leave at 4:45 pm to miss the big influx of traffic. parking, you see ted’s car by the house and smile again, hoping the food is already at the house so you can change and enjoy your night with your boyfriend. you walk in, hear the tv running, and see ted on his laptop, sitting on the sofa in the living room. he looks up at you and smiles, getting up to welcome you home. “hey baby,” he walks over to you and pulls you into a hug. “argg im glad you’re home.” he’s squeezing you while you’re trying to put your bag down and take your shoes off. “missed you too love.” it’s a little muffled coming from you but he still hears it. he pulls away from you and kisses you on the forehead. “i do three time sheets and all i get when i walk in is a forehead kiss?” you tease, trying to keep a facade of being annoyied, but you cant. “i also gave you a hug!” ted replies, leaning down to kiss you. you hold the kiss for a minute, your hand coming to hold his jaw as he finds its way to your hips. “better?” ted asks, breaking it. “much.” you reply. you set your bag down by the door and take your shoes off, holding them to put them back in your closet, and ted walks back over to the sofa. “did you already get dinner, or do we need to go back out?” you ask heading to the bedroom to hopefully change. “no, i got dinner at like..” he checks his watch, “4:45-4:50ish, i wanted it to be here when you got here so we could eat whenever.” you pass him to the bedroom and lean over and kiss the top of his head, “that’s why i love you teddy.” a soft smile rests on your face as you continue walking.

coming out of the bedroom, you’re dressed in joggers and one of teds shirts. it was comfortable. ted movies, so there’s room for you to sit on the couch. you take his laptop from him and set it next to him. “hey, what’re yo-.” before ted’s able to finish his sentence, you’re sitting in his lap with your back against the arm rest and your legs draping across his other leg. you give him his laptop back, and there’s a look of confusion on ted’s face. “what, i wanted to sit with you.” you explain. “so you sat in my lap?” he asks. you stretch a bit more, getting even comfier, “yeah well i wanted to crawl in your chest but that felt too far.” your head rests on his shoulder. “hmm yeah, too far.” he agrees. ted gives up on whatever he is doing on his laptop; you thought you saw a new video script, but you weren’t sure. ted spreads his legs a little more to hold you closer and tighter, and the both of you sit there watching tv for a while, laughing at the same point in the show. 

eventually, you look over at ted and say, “dinner?” ted nods his head at the idea. you get off of ted’s lap, and the both of you walk over to the kitchen to start heating the takeout up. as you open the fridge, ted catches you. “no honey, sit down. please let me.” he says gently. “ted, it’s heating food up.” you state. he ushers you to sit at the table, and you do so. watching him portion the food from the takeout containers, just looking at him. “see something?” he asks, looking over his shoulder at you. “just looking,” You get up, walking over to him, embracing him from behind. “thanks for dinner.” you say into his shoulder. “(y/n), dont thank me yet, it still could be bad.” he laughs as he puts the first bowl in the microwave. “go grab some silverware and ill bring it over to the couch ok?” ted asks. you agree, grab silverware for both of you and head towards the couch to get comfortable waiting for ted. you hear beeps from the kitchen, and a few seconds later, ted comes over with two bowls. he sets his down on the table and hands you yours, “its a little hot honey.” he says and hands you the bowl. you take it and trade the bowl with his silverware. he sits next to you, grabs his bowl off the table, and gestures it to you. “do you want my first bite?” “hmmm yeah,” you think, then commit. you sink your fork into his bowl. you pull some noodles and chicken out of his bowl and smile to thank him beofre eating your bite.

about half way through, you’re finding it harder to shallow, which feels weird since you just got noodles. your face also starts to feel warm, and your breathing becomes shallow. ted notices, “honey, you ok? your breathing is really short.” he looks over to you, still somewhat eating. you nod, “yeah, but is there sesame in this?” you look over at him. “there shouldn’t be.” his eyes go wide as he sees your face. the hives are starting to creep up your neck, and your face is getting red he pushes your hair back from your neck to see hives all down your neck. “goddamit, i asked for no sesame.” he says, irritated, putting his bowl down and standing. “i thought you just made it too spicy for me.” you joke. “i’m gonna grab you some benadryl and water ok?” you nod and continue to eat your noodles. ted comes back in the room and looks upset with you, “baby stop eating that, it could make it worst.” “but it’s good,” you try and keep eating as you start coughing through your bites. ted trades with you as you give him your bowl, and he gives you the medicine and water. you take both of the pills and drink all the water as ted walks to the kitchen to deal with the leftovers; you think you heard the trash open but aren’t really sure at this point. the benadryl makes you drowsier faster than you expected, and you move to lie down on the couch and curl yourself up. ted comes back into the living room and sees you in this state; he seems concerned and hastily walks over to you. he pushes your hair off your face but sees you breathing more steadily than when he left you. he sits down next to you. he pulls you on his lap and grabs a blanket and lightly places it over you waking for you to wake up.

you wake up in your shared bedroom, pitch black, the only light coming from the connected bathroom. you rub your face and get out of bed, pulling the covers off and sliding out of bed. you pad over to the light and see ted brushing his teeth, hair still wet from the shower. “hi.” you smile, your eyes still adjusting to the light. he looks pleased that you’re awake and spits out his toothpaste to talk to you, “hey baby, you feel better?” “yeah,” you yawn, “just tired.” “yeah lets get to bed.” he shuts the light off and walks you back to bed. As you get into bed, ted cuddles into you, holding you, “lets not go back to that restaurant.” ted kisses your shoulder blade. “yeah, i agree.” you say, then pass out again.

[triptychofvoids]

So we know how engi and you deal with stairs but how about the others I feel soldier would do it for fun demo would fall asleep at the top and drop everything...do the other carry things calmly or do you have to scold them and such for falling?

i cant think of why the others would be carrying a bunch of things up and down the stairs. but lets see.... soldier has no problem with stairs, in fact ive caught him marching up and down staircases sometimes if he gets bored. its good exercise, though i doubt he needs it. how well demo will navigate a staircase depends entirely on how drunk he is at the moment.... i have seen him fall down stairs before but usually he manages alright. spy never has trouble with stairs, and neither does pyro. i have seen heavy walking up or down stairs while reading before and i have no idea how he manages to do that without tripping. sniper is another one that i am surprised has never tripped, since he seems to like taking them two steps at a time. im not sure if i should be insulted or amused that you seem convinced a group of nine mercenaries wouldnt be able to handle navigating a simple staircase, but i suppose thats where scout comes in.... i keep telling him dont run up the stairs, dont try to go three steps at a time, look where youre going, use the verdammten handrails for once, but he will not listen. i treat more stair related injuries because of scout in about a month than i ever have in my entire career.

[acaciapines]

If you’re still doing songs - song 69 and 138?

im always up to do em lets GO! i'll put both above the cut n then talk below :)

69. It’s Called: Freefall – Rainbow Kitten Surprise

king misses his mom. he misses his sister. he misses his aunt and his grandparents and mari trying to pin him down and luz letting him crawl under her covers and eda hugging him when he grabbed for her and firefly chirping good morning and good night and throwing out her wings to keep him safe.

“kiiiiiiiiing,” the collector whines, flipping upside-down through the air. “you’re so boring, what is your problem?”

“just tired,” king says. it’s hard to look at the collector straight-on. the thoughts that surround him are a messy array, and barely any of them are his, the way they are for anybody else: it’s a weird conglomerate of old thoughts like those that drift through the sky, but so packed together he can’t make anything out. it’s a beach of golden sand the collector runs through, leaving kicked-up grit in his awake.

“naw, c’mon,” they needle, landing right in front of him. “you’ve been tired forever. be fun!”

he misses his family so bad he’s sure it’s a wound spilling out of him. how can’t the collector see that?

“okay,” king says, “fine. let’s play.”

138. Habits – Genevieve Stokes

ask anybody: edalyn-owlbert clawthorne was never planning to have kids.

never really interested her. not the settling-down part, not the needing to keep another living creature alive part, not the having to be a good influence, gag. nah. kids were never going to be her thing, and so she never sought them out.

and then the little buggers found her.

well. she’s technically the one who stumbled across king, the owl beast’s faltering flight into that abandoned ruin he was living in, but king was the one who followed them both and refused to be left behind. plus, that stone-monster was going to kill him. eda wasn’t a fan of kids, but she didn’t want to leave them for dead, either.

looking back she’s pretty sure the owl beast was laughing at her.

laughed even harder when she took in luz. you’re an apprentice, kid, eda had told her, and the girl had squealed, and her daemon had sat there on her shoulder with her tiny chest puffed out, and something in eda knew this was going to be a permanent thing.

oh well. at least she skipped the changing diapers phase of things.

Discussion

for the first one: oh! hey! this one is relevant to for the future which im writing right NOW! ive been thinking a lot recently about how kings gonna be Doing in that entire like, 2-3 months he's basically on his own with the collector, because i'll be expanding out from what was shown in the show, and just...god. poor kid.

its terrifying! im a collector lover but even i'll admit he is Not great with king, especilly towards the start, and thats not going anywhere--king misses his family and the collector has been on his own for so LONG, and has this sense of entitlement to kings time + space. why does everyone else get a lifelong friend with them since birth? the collector wants that! and if they werent born with it they'll find a friend then! like KING!

its just a LOT. it makes for fun writing though kdnfkgdfg king doesnt hate the collector but oh boy is he not actually friends with them.

this one also makes it pretty obvious what im doing in regards to king being a titan lol but ive decided not to talk so explicitly about that unless im asked a question in which i cant speak around it. i gotta keep some of my secrets!

for the second one: MOM EDA MY BELOVED sorry i literally love that trope so much okay. its so so fun to write. eda really tripped and fell into parenthood like ah shit now ive got to be responsible for HOW MANY of these guys now? two? three? am i supposed to count mari and luz as one or two because based on the day that is a WILDLY different answer.

but yeah <3 its also made even more funny that firefly knew 100% what she was getting into. this was a massive shock to eda, but firefly's been a mom from the start!

also ooooh got that owlbert mention huh wonder what that is about...wonder what my owlbert secrets might be....if he shows up at all....hmmmm...

[httpiastri]

https://www.tumblr.com/httpiastri/750131786833608704/this-took-way-longer-than-expected-but-im

hi again!! pepe’s stream has actually been deleted bc twitch deletes streams after 7 days unless they’re some special twitch streamer (??) i think? but even then, i think those streams also only stay up for about a month or so unless the streamers themselves save it or something but i’m not too sure tbh 😓😓

i’m just grateful that we have the timestamps listed out and stuff so we don’t forget the very special moments in his stream but it is very unfortunate that we can’t just go back and rewatch the whole thing again (actually really heartbroken and upset about this☹️☹️) i have some screenshots of the moments i mentioned and then like some screen recordings of a few moments like his little dance and him cursing and then one of him making some weird sound in reaction to a moment in quali or during the F1A watch along (i forgot which 😭😭) so i’ll probably just be rewatching those over and over again and holding them close to me while i wait for the day where he decided to bless me and stream again (and i PRAY that that day comes soon because ive just started a new school and i miss the little racing filled bubble ive been living in for so long)

anyway i hope you’ve had a lovely weekend so far jackie!! if you ever stumble across one of my posts on tumblr (unlikely, but always possible, because i do sign off with the same emoji) say hi!! if your weekend hasn’t been that good so far then i do hope it gets better and that the week ahead is far more amazing and beautiful than the ones before!!

- 🪷

i had no idea twitch does that?? that's so rude 😠 that's actually such a bad feature shsjdshdj im heartbroken :(

but yes i feel you, let's be thankful that it happened instead of crying because it's gone 💔I MISSED OUT ON SCREEN RECORDING THE DANCE ??? but i have like 20 clips of cute pepe laughter so 🥰🥰 but yes i hope he understands how much we adored that stream and how much we crave another one… 🥲

(a new school? so exciting!! hope you have a lot of fun and make a lot of new friends 😚 but god yes, like my life is 50% racing (in my head) these days but i cant wait for the summer to arrive just because i miss the crazy racing bubble i was in for like three months…. pepe would definitely help out with fixing that rn 🫶)

also just gonna include your next ask here bcs it's the same theme:

you're making me so curious? omg?? now im gonna be searching through all of tumblr just to find a post with your emoji 🥺 i def will say hi if i find you !!!

also omfg. i just realized something…. i have this board on pinterest with pics of random couples & so on that remind me of my fave drivers, and each driver has their own like board in the board. all of them are named with the driver's initials, his number and two emojis, and !! guess what emoji i have for pepe???? ofc it's the freaking lotus flower 😭 idk i just wanted to share this, thanks 😚

hope you have a lovely day/night/morning/anything whenever you see this !!! and hope you have a lovely week <33

[bebx]

hi im so sorry but i need to get this off my chest and i cant talk to my friends about it because its so embarrassing and ive talked about it PLENTY

but anyway long story short i was dating someone, we have a weird history dating wise & have been best friends for 3+ years before that all started. literally three weeks ago we decided to be exclusive, on friday i found out that the day before, he kissed another girl IN PUBLIC. i know that girl, they've hooked up before (when i was also hooking up with him but it wasn't anything really and i didn't actually know for sure if they were hooking up (they were)). so we called it quits.

i still spent the weekend bc i'm weak and all i want is him. he said he never felt a connection like this with anyone, he said he loved me and he said he was sorry a hundred times..... he said it would take a long time before he'd feel 'normal' about me. we were both emotional when i left, and since then i havent really stopped crying lol

AND NOW. i dont know if im just driving myself crazy but i feel like he's (still) (again?) talking to that one girl and it would make sense because he basically cheated on me not even a week ago so why wouldnt he do this now??? but. it feels too cruel. but maybe thats just who he is.

god i hate this so much he drives me completely mad im stalking his every move and every time i see something that even slightly hints at my suspicions i get so ill and it makes me wanna kms. i just wanna feel normal i hate that he did this to me i miss him so bad. i know we literally shouldn't ever get back together again because this is just a fraction of the shit thats happened in the past 10 months, BUT I ONLY WANT HIM. and i feel like we're soulmates. BYEEEEE this is so humiliating. im so tired i just want it to end

hugging you so tight right now, anon!!! 🩷🩷🩷 so sorry you have to go through something like this. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, because each person experiences this type of pain differently, but I do know it just super sucks when the person who hurts us and the person we want to hate turns out to be the one we love the most. sometimes our hearts can be stubborn just like that (it all would’ve been so easy if we could convince ourselves to stop caring and to being able to fully hate them and moving on, but it’s never that easy, sadly). I can’t tell you what to do or how to react to the pain you feel, but know that your pain is valid and how you feel / how you react / how you cope with that pain, that’s valid too. and you are not weak for being hurt when someone wronged you, especially when it’s someone you trusted. I know this is cliche and is so much easier said than done, but please also be kind to yourself, above anything else. that boy and the girl he cheated on you with, they don’t deserve you. they lost you, not the other way around. think of this as an opportunity for you to open yourself to someone else who truly loves and values you, whether it be romantically or platonically. I know right now you just want him, but if the wrong person can make you love him this bad, imagine how much happier you’ll be when you finally find the right one who can make you love them the same way you loved him, if not more, the only difference is that they won’t break your heart. and you deserve to be happy. that someone is out there, and I truly believe you both will find each other when the time is right. but for now, try loving and being gentle to yourself even if it’s hard (I know it can be hard, but at least give it a try), the best revenge is to prove to them that you don’t need them to be happy and that you can heal from this and thrive without them in your life. doesn’t matter how long it takes, but you will get there one day, and you will look back and be so damn proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. because hey, look at you, you are still here, and for that, I am so damn proud of you!!

it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be completely broken, because the thing about crying and being broken is that it’s not permanent, even if it feels like it right now.

and by the way, the ones who should feel humiliated are him and that girl, not you. screw it if they deserve each other. YOU deserve so much better than that anyway.

[hirokiyuu]

17, 18, 19?

17. talk about your writing and editing process

that of an insane person quite frankly. a pef chapter is the worst bc it ltierally goes like:

write the chapter while alm is making edits concurrently whenever i ask to make sure it obth a) makes sense w/whats been written adn b) Sounds Good also > finish writing it and start on my own personal edits > get alm to do their own last edits > fix up things > send to stella (hi) who does edits > do more edits > send to abble for proofreading > FIX THINGS....... and between each of htese three ppl im using doing my own edits as well. i have a disease

for the writing part specifically tho its usually like. write whatevers sexiest while jumping around and then fill in the rest w/as little as i can (this is not a joke) (if its not interesting to me why would it be interesting to the reader)

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

He’d looked for her, just before he left. She’d been up on the walls for guard duty, the way she’d been every single Glow since the Helio landed, and when she saw him looking up at her she’d smiled. It’d hidden the bags under her eyes, the ones that had started to emerge after her birthday the year previous and never quite gone away, and as always the warmth of it had dizzied him. 

She’d leaned over the fence with a wave, mouth open as if to shout down, when one of the other guards -- someone from the Helio Dys hadn’t known the name of -- had said something, and she’d paused, sighed, and gave him another little wave instead before straightening back up. That night she’d sent him a message: Sorry abt earlier!!! Miss hanging out w/you but you know how glow is x___x Let’s catch up in quiet, ok? We can head out to the ridges and I can finally tell you abt the crazy thing Marz n I have been workin on for months lol

He’d stared at it a long time, his throat weird and tight. He could hear it in her voice, the lilting cadence of it, and he’d been wanting to talk to her for what felt like an eternity, but since Vertumnalia she’d been running all over the colony without a single break, looking more and more haggard every time he saw her. The only times he’d ever seen her relax had been when she’d been with her stupid boyfriend, who never flinched away when she tried to kiss him and in fact usually kissed her first, a smile on her face whenever he did.

A part of him had wanted to text her back. It would’ve been so easy, a quick little sure and then he could’ve gone back to his bunk, crawled into bed and lain there for days until the suns began to rise again, until he could walk once more by her side and listened, aching, to her laugh.

He hadn’t. Instead he’d set the bomb just like he’d promised, kneeling alone in the hiding hole the two of them had once passed their days together in. The place they’d once sat with their knees knocking, complaining about the colony and talking excitedly about aliens, the place that had once been their only escape from everyone else. The place he was going to turn to ash. The place he’d never see again.

some stuff from the dishsoap ridgefic confession id decided to axe in the end bc it didnt flow well enough but i did still like the concept wwww theres a LOT of cut stuff from this fic in general i wont lie

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

some of the shit ive been reading abt lately for the latest pef chapter has been. kinda out there. i cant actually say in words bc its technically spoielrs but part of it is solely to make sexier metaphors and part of it is goro being obnoxious on purpose

[moonstandardtime]

I want to vote and offer advice on your polls but I feel like it really depends on what you mean by cyberstalking and whos safety and why its for safety reasons yknow

this is gonna read kinda like an aita. under cut bc its a LOT of vaguely explained personal drama. content warnings in tags.

i have three roommates. ill call them A, B, and C. A and B are both 24 i think, and C is 21. i was roommates with C in 2023 in a college dorm and we got along great. currently planning to move to a different place together. he was friends with B prior to the two of us meeting. B and A are dating. A and B both followed me on tumblr until all of this.

C is not currently living here due to Drama with A and B. will not be elaborating on that here bc its very personal on both sides + just generally pretty complicated. hes staying with his boyfriend currently. (who also sort of roomed with us in 2023 by virtue of spending most of his time in our room.) C left in i think october. or november. idr.

at the end of october i got fired from my job bc job-induced burnout was making me. extremely unproductive. i also happened to run out of adhd meds at Exactly the same time and wasnt able to get them refilled for a month. so for most of november i was both recovering from burnout AND off my meds, so the executive dysfunction was Super Kicking My Ass.

at some point in november i asked A (who i had not spoken to directly very much at all; this was our first one on one conversation Ever) to do a very little something housekeeping related. he immediately got on my ass for not doing chores. to summarize most of the very long text conversation, there were some communication issues caused by C trying to keep exactly this from happening, A used the words "stupid" and "useless" to describe how i do chores, and A is not my dad.

i, extremely frustrated, came onto tumblr, softblocked A (and tried to find B's account to softblock him too, with no luck) and made that "google how not to tell someone to kill themself when youre kind of frustrated" post. A and B saw that post and decided that i meant i actually for real wanted A to kill himself.

that whole exchange ended with me leaving the house crying at like 8 or 9pm to spend the night at C and his bf's place.

fast forward to december. B has blocked me on tumblr. kitchen looks like a hoarder house. i ask A very nicely to clean up in the kitchen, he says B was actually already working on that. problem resolved. and then B texts me two massive messages about how hes seen my posts about hating my roommates and hes 24 and im 19 and he "frankly doesnt feel like having beef with me". i ask how hes seen my posts when i have both of them blocked. (important note that this actually isnt true—id forgotten that i only softblocked A and couldnt find B. but B blocked me after the first incident anyway, so neither of them should have been seeing my posts without specifically going to my blog and looking for them.) he brushes that off and says that if i have a problem with them i should just say it instead of vagueposting in a public space. (the reason i was not just saying it, if you cant tell, is because i didnt want to have another panic attack from being berated.) (also, the only irls of mine who are active on here are my sisters. so im still not sure why it matters if its not negatively affecting them as long as they dont, yknow, stalk my blog.) he also pressures me into sharing info about the Drama that i very clearly stated i was uncomfortable sharing without express permission from C.

this exchange ends the same as the last. except worse. i go home early for winter break the next day.

over the course of winter break, i make one or two violent posts referencing the situation with A and B. bad idea in retrospect dont do that. they are alarmed by this, which is understandable, but they VERY CRUCIALLY SHOULD NOT HAVE SEEN THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE. especially since in the previous exchange i expressed clear discomfort regarding them doing that and was brushed off. LUCKILY this third exchange a couple days ago did not end in a panic attack, but A did reveal to me that he recorded that previous panic attack because it sounded violent. which is fair it did sound violent because i was throwing things at my wall (as i do when i have a particularly bad panic attack—rip those two school owned chromebooks from high school), but when i asked him to delete it because it was just a panic attack and not a murderous rage or whatever, he refused. he also said that what he and B were doing wasnt stalking because i hadnt actually blocked either of them, and also its fine for them to do because they were doing it for their safety. (interestingly, ive realized while making this post that they should not have seen the posts they were so concerned about if they hadnt already been looking through my blog (after i showed discomfort, too).)

so. thats the situation. A has since been blocked but B still has be blocked so i cant access his blog to block him. so it SHOULDNT be a problem anymore.

[perlapulido]

Fired Up

Summary: Lexi has been know around Hell as another employee with a temper when shes pushed over the edge. Just wait until she meets the King of Wrath.

Ch 3

It was a good morning with Lexi drink her coffee to get herself up from a long shift from working behind the kitchen seeing Fizz coming over giving her a hug. "What do you want?" said Lexi knowing he does this to do a favor for him or Ozzie. "I have a show and I need you to check on my robot at LooLoo Land to make sure things are doing good." said Fizz. "Whats in it for me?" said Lexi. Cant you help a brother out?" said Fizz. "Whats in it for me?" said Lexi. Two weeks off of work and ill stop being a pain in the ass for a month." said Fizz. "Deal." said Lexi getting a kiss on the cheek from him. "Get off!" said Lexi then felt his tongue run up her cheek like a animal. "Oz!" said Lexi shoving him away. "Hes at the factory." said Fizz going to the spare room where he keeps hell dogs. Lexi went to her room to change and grabbed her bag heading out with Fizz going to the limo while not tripping over the wild hell dogs. It took them an hour until they got to the front with Lexi stepping out wearing her pass to get in and saw the limo already left. Lexi walked in knowing this wasnt the first time this happened until she bumped into a figure. "Oh Im so sorry. I didnt mean to do that." said Lexi looking at the teenage girl. She saw that she was a owl like demon with another who was much older and three imps looking ta her. "Are you a Goetia?" said Lexi lowering her voice. "Why is that your business?" said the imp large horns raising a gun at her. "Blitz, dont be rude. Im Millie and we are working at the moment with Prince Stolas and his daughter."  said the female imp after pushing Blitz away. "I wont say a word. But i find it odd that the royals would be out in public with jut imps. No offence." said Lexi looking at Millie. She then realized the name Millie called the Imp looking at him up and down as Blitz smirked walking over. "Like what you see." said Blitz. "Please. I just heard your before from my boss and roomie. You might be familiar with him." said Lexi then delivered a hard punch knocking him straight to his back.

"Thats for my sister and them. Be very careful you two. Apologies for what you saw." said Lexi passing Stolas on her way in the amusement park. She looked around until she saw the poster of a Fizz look a like next to the entrance of the tent going inside seeing it looked at the inside concerned and disgust at the condition. "Well if isnt my favorite sister. I thought my sensors were fucking up again. But i was wrong. Here for a piece action from me." Said robotic voice of Fizz above Lexi. "Ew. I came for a surprise inspection that isnt about me getting fucked by a robot version of my roommate." Said Lexi as robot Fizz landed in front of her. "Come on. I bet you wanted get the unforgettable experience." Said Robot fizz before sparking a bit. "Never in your fucking robotic life." Said Lexi. "If you say so. Why dont you take a seat and enjoy the show." Said Robot Fizz before going backstage to perform. "I shouldve stolen Blitz' rifle on the way here." Said Lexi walking to the bleachers taking a seat. She crossed her legs taking out her phone to text Ozzie not seeing the teen from before with Stolas next to her. Looking up at the stage seeing Robot Fizz making his introduction and started singing the theme song while dancing. "Ugh. I want stab my eyes out then continue watching this." Said Lexi. "My thoughts exactly." Said the teen. "Dragged into being here." Said Lexi glancing at her. "Yes. Besides my dad is here for that imp." Said the teen looking at her. "Something my boss can relate. But im sure your dad still loves you deeply." Said Lexi as the theme song started playing again. She got up leaving sending a sympathy look at the teen on her way out ignoring the gun shot and screaming to explore the rest of the amusement park. "Step right and win a prize. Maybe you can beat this pipsqueak." Said the vender guy in his game stand. "Nope." Said Lexi seeing Millie and the other imp. "Good luck winning something." Said Lexi. She then stopped to smell smoke then looked around for the source to see green flames and Blitz crash into the stand where Millie and the other imp were. "What the fuck?" Siad Lexi before Millie grabbe dher hand leading to safety somewhere. "What just happened?" Said Lexi as they stopped. "This stuff happens when it comes to Blitz. Ending in a mess." Said The imp. "Moxxies right on that one but we still do our jobs bit have you seen Octavia. Stolas daughter coming by." Said Millie. "No. Sorry. Wait a minute down into the fun house." Said Lexi seeing her running with smaller demons following her.

"Should i leave or help?" Said Lexi. "You use a gun before or weapons?" Said Moxxie looking at her. "A bat, mace, taser, and killed myself along with abusive ex. So no." Said Lexi. "Why dont you meet us at the lot. This won't take long." said Millie. "Alright but i get screamed at by my boss. Blitz getting a foot in his balls." said Lexi walking away before anything else explodes. She walked to the parking lot waiting for the ringing to stop hearing Fizz's voicemail. "Hey. I got news. It was okay until i ran into the bastard that ruined your life and now everything is going up in flames. Im not fucking joking everything is now on fire. i dont know how but theres nothing to be done now. Call me back." said Lexi. She then heard a very loud explosion behind her along with screaming turning to see Stolas carrying Octavia in his arms with the imp laying on the floor injured. "Worth it that robot slut had it coming." said Blitz. "Hey he is a robot version of my roommate who i love as a brother that i never had." said Lexi as her phone rang. "Lexi! What the fuck?!" said Fizz after Lexi answered. "Hold that thought." said Lexi walking over to Blitz who was getting up She kicked him in the groin hard making him yell in pain for Fizz to hear and waited fr him to say something. "Better?" said Lexi. "Maybe. I'll see you at home when you walk there. Serves you right to let LooLoo Land ablaze." said FIzz. "I kicked Blitz' tiny balls for you." said Lexi then was hanged up on. "Dick." she says putting her phone away. "Everything alright." said Stolas. "Because of Blitz. I have to find a way to get home in the Lust Ring." said Lexi looking at him. "Perhaps i can have my servants drop you off. Its no trouble." said Stolas. "Thank you. And im sorry about your wife." said Lexi. "What do you mean?" said Stolas setting Octavia down. "I know when youre in a bad toxic relationship. Why do you think im down here with these scars." said Lexi gesturing her face. "Youre ex did that?! How?" said Millie. "Acid to the face when i tried to leave him. So i blew up our home with us in it." said Lexi. "Perhaps we can talk alter about this. Now lets get home. Shall we?" said Stolas. "You dont mind joining you five?" said Lexi. "Why not?" said Millie climbing in with Lexi sitting next to her. "Maybe you can work with us?" said Millie. "I work with Asmodeus and Fizzarolli as their assistant and chef in Ozzie's." said Lexi. "That sounds great for someone of our kind." said Blitz climbing in the drivers seat while Stolas and Octavia were seat behind Millie and Lexi. "At least im not a heartbreaking whore." said Lexi. She and Millie started talking with Moxxie once she mentioned her tasted in musicals.

[omanu]

update

hey it's me! im pretending you (this is a specific you, if youre not this You, you will know, but if you are this You, you will know) are trying to know about me without engaging in a conversation, though i doubt im crossing your mind these days... i feel really lonely right now and i dont know if you know that you were the only one interested in me and now that you arent anymore i realized I can't have this with anybody else even if i want to find someone to be special to me but we cant choose these things...

so, update... yeah i have been doing fine in college, i think i got sick by stress twice because of if, i got a cold and an infected ear twice in less than three months... im sure it was somatic.

uhm ive reconnected with an old friend. it's been nice but still confusing to me, i am trying to let myself be hypothetically loved i almost went for it, but i just cant right now, or ever, if I'm being honest.. the only person who i was close with was you and our another friend, and it wasnt even romantic,, isnt that funny? fjskfo you get me, or.. used to get me, like no one else, and i miss that. i miss being heard and cared for, you made me feel special and now that you dont talk to me, everything feels so dull. so dull. nobody wants to hear me rambling and its been so lonely ive been thinking,, did you want to hear me rambling back then? was i too forceful? i felt loved but maybe i didnt understand that it was a burden for you? maybe i didnt realize it was bad for you... maybe? i think i could have been better.

you know what? im thinking about the last time you sent me a voice message. It was beautiful but at the end of it i realized you were saying goodbye, gently. i guess you were and I didn't realize until days later, i thought it was another confirmation of our bond but i was a goodbye wasnt it? i didn't realize... thats why i kept coming back trying to get you to exchange updates... i really didn't realize. I feel stupid.

anyways,, updates, updates... im obsessed with elvis now. do you think he is cool? do you hate him? or do you understand how I feel and likes that im having fun? im at a moment i cant really talk about him with my family because it's feeling too personal right now.. if you were here i maybe you'd wanna listen to me, but i dont know anymore...

hoseok is a free man again. i dont care much about bts anymore can you believe it? but i care a lot about hoseok still.

maybe i will make a trip to a concert in February. i went on one last year and i saw alter bridge too, so that makes it two trips ... did i get the chance to talk to you about them? i dont remember.. i think i did but i think you werent in the mood, but honestly i might b making this shit up, i think you had said goodby before that. maybe... my bad!

i want to know about you. i see your stories on instagram, youre baking a lot. have you moved out already? i love seeing your bread dkdkdk and you are still so funny, i miss your silliness. i know youre active online with your friends i wish i could be there too.. why is it easier with them? i thought i was doing really well.

i dont think i had the courage back then, to admit it to myself or to tell you but i feel really hurt by you, didnt know how bad i was hurt.. i cant believe we are apart like this i didn't know we could even be... and here i am, apart from you, hurting all the same. i didnt accept it yet.

i wonder if you are feeling anything by now, if youre feeling an odd poke at ur brain, if you're feeling me, if you can feel a slight perturbation, or if any object fell off, or if you remembered something i said, or if youre gonna feel it in your sleep... you know, with all the universe energy that connects us. i think. i think when i think of you you maybe thought of me, or the other way around? but at the same time i doubt i crossed your mind. have i? i hope so, i miss you a lot. You dont wanna come back?

ok. updates ... i dont think i have much else, maybe thats why keeping contact with me might feel stagnating or depressing or just wrong. can i change? is that my problem? i think im trying my best by myself? am i by myself? i dont know i feel like its been years im not heard . it's been years you dont talk to me. i think it has been years

anyways, updates... i miss you a lot, i think im heartbroken. and it's hurting too much today, i feel lonely and pathetic. im crying right now, you know? when did you cry last? what made you cry? is everything alright with your dogs? how about your cats? do you still walk around your neighborhood? do you need anything? how's your mother? did you think of me? i dont know if i think about you every day, but lately i kind of have.

bye.