#and im sure i cant get in to see him for another three months if i attempted to reschedule

[roseandbee]

Apparently when my doctor puts in labs to be completed within the next year in the system it means within two weeks of when the year is up or insurance won't pay for it. They need to work on their wording of shit. Among other things 😑

[hoesheez]

Free Racha…

3Racha/AFAB Reader

WARNINGS: free use, unprotected sex, language

A/N: been wanting to write a fic with both studio sex and putting moans into a song, dont ask why haha

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

After dating the men of 3Racha for a few months now, you thought it was finally the perfect time to ask them something. It was something you had been thinking about for a while now, the thought of it fueled many of your late night thoughts you used to pleasure yourself. One day when the four of you were finally in the same room, you brought up your idea.

You were all hanging out in the kitchen, playing a game of UNO when you mustered up the courage to ask them. “Do you guys know what free use is?” Jisung practically choked on his drink, “Come again?” he asked as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Changbin had stifled a laugh and hid behind his cards while Chan turned to you with an eyebrow raised. “What about it?” he asked curiously.

The three men looked at you, your words caught in your throat. “Come on then,” Changbin said as he placed his hand on the table, his muscular arms flexing as he crossed them over his chest. “Yeah, tell us Y/n,” Jisung spoke next. Seeing as how you couldn’t get out of it now, you sighed and cleared your throat. “Well, I wanna try it with you guys, it really turns me on thinking about it.” The men looked at one another, “You sure?” Chan asked. With him being the first man you started dating out of the trio, he knew you more than the others did and wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting into. He placed a hand on your thigh and squeezed , “Cause Im definitely on board.” Changbin and Jisung stood up as if they’d miss out on something, “Me too!” they both said in unison. You giggled at their enthusiasm, “Cool, uhmm,” you said and stood up, walking over to Changbin and Jisung who sat on the other side of the table, “should we try it out now?” you leaned in front of them on your hands and looked at them with a devilish smirk. Changbin reached out and pulled you in for a kiss, meanwhile Chan was already behind you pulling down your pants. Changbin pulled away and began undoing his pants as you leaned over to Jisung and gave him a kiss next. “So guys, when will you both be free so we can start working on the song?” Chan asked as he licked his hand and pumped himself, getting ready to enter you from behind. By now, you were already leaning on your arms sucking off Changbin and Jisung simultaneously. “I have an appointment tomorrow, why not this weekend?” Changbin huffed as you worked on him, taking his length all the way to the back of your throat. “Cant, we’ll be at dance practice all day.” he explained as you pumped him with your free hand. The men continued to talk and go about their business as you obeyed and let them fuck you however they liked.

Ever since then, they’d use you freely whenever they wanted. Whether it be at home or in the studio. When you were alone with each of them or altogether, it was incredible. Your deepest desires finally coming true, and the men you loved sharing every experience with you.

So of course when chan texted you to come over to the studio, you knew that you’d be used and fucked exactly how you liked. Just the thought of it caused your pussy to ache with need. You got ready and decided to wear your prettiest lingerie, some tight shorts that made your ass look amazing and sprayed yourself with your most intoxicating perfume. You stopped by their favorite restaurant to get some food and hurried to the JYP building to meet your three boyfriends.

You rode the elevator up and went to your second favorite place besides home and knocked on the door. Jisung answered, looking you up and down in appreciation, but then paying more attention to the bags of food. He took them from you and let you inside, finally saying hello with a gentle kiss. Chan turned away from his computer and looked at you, then did a double take, this time looking at you longer. He tapped Changbin who was behind him on his phone. The muscular man looked up at him as if he was going to say something but then followed Chan’s eyes to where they fell on you. You watched as he bit his bottom lip and shifted in his seat. “I brought food,” you said and put your things down before coming over to give Chan a kiss. He kissed you back and held the back of your head, “You look amazing.” he whispered against your lips. You smiled and went to Changbin, who offered you a seat on his lap. You sat on his thick thighs and leant in to kiss him. He couldn’t help himself and immediately undid his pants, pulling out his thick cock for you to suck. You quickly moved on the couch, laying on your belly and taking him into your mouth. Jisung came to sit and you moved your legs up and allowed him to sit, putting your legs back on his lap after he sat down to begin eating his food. He used one of his free hands to squeeze your ass, “How’s the song coming along?” he asked with a full mouth. Chan sucked his teeth, “Its, okay,” he said with a nervous laugh. Changbin patted your head as you sucked his dick, your hands coming to tug on his balls. He moaned softly, “Should we take a break?” he suggested and Chan shook his head, “There’s really no time, we have to push through the night, we’ve got this.”

He stretched with a small groan and quickly went back to mixing sounds. Jisung tapped you to get you to move your legs and he got up and put his food down. “Lets hear what you have so far.” he said and reached around your back to unbutton your shorts and pull them down your legs. “Alright, its not very long but,” he said and a tune began playing.

It sounded great to you, but these men were professionals, anything less than perfect wasn’t good enough. So you minded your own business and continued to suck Changbin off, ready to help in any way you could. You perked your ass up to Jisung after he finished taking off your shorts. He leaned in and began kissing your rear, pulling your underwear down to get more access to your plush skin. “Its a good start, lets record some vocals and see.” Chan turned to him, “Should i just do that now? Maybe it’ll help us decide on how to finish it?” He asked between the two men. Changbin nodded, “Good idea.” he said and pushed you onto him further. You gagged and dug your nails into his taught thighs through his jeans.

Chan started to set up the microphone so he could add some vocals to the demo. Jisung had already taken his cock out and slid it against your wet folds, slapping your ass and moaning at how wet you were. You immediately pulled off of Changbin, “Harder, Sungie, please” you begged and Changbin roughly took you by the hair and shoved his cock back into your mouth. “Go on, give them another.” he groaned out as he held your head down, his dick at the back of your throat making you gag. Jisung slapped your rear again, harder this time and you squirmed under him with a moan.

Chan finished setting up the microphone and cleared his throat to begin singing . While he recorded, Jisung finally entered you, his dick dragging deliciously against your tight walls. Changbin let go of you and you inhaled deep, his cum mixed with your saliva dripped from your mouth. He removed his shirt revealing his muscular body and moved to be on his knees on the couch, much like the position Jisung was in on the other side. They had you now on either side and thrust into you roughly in tandem. You moaned deeply with a stuffed mouth as the men thrust into you hard. Chan sighed, his need to be inside of you growing. He tapped the spacebar on the keyboard and the new tune began to play.

“Wait,” he said suspiciously and played it again, “Did you guys hear that?” Changbin and Jisung stopped, as their leader played the snippet over. You payed attention to the music after the man stopped and you could hear a moan in the background of the song. “Was that?” Jisung asked and slammed into you from behind. “That actually, sounded pretty good.” Changbin said and pulled you off of him.

He moved to take Chan’s place at the computer, chan coming over to your waiting mouth and pulling himself from his shorts. “You’re moans sound so good, lets hear some more.” he entered your mouth and wasted no time in thrusting to hit the back of your throat. Jisung picked up his pace and fucked you harder, his hands gripped your rear, sure to leave beautiful marks. He huffed and moaned, thrusting faster and nearing his peak. You felt him pick up his speed, moaning loudly when he reached a hand between your legs and began rubbing your clit. You gagged and huffed on Chan’s dick, unable to move, only looking up at him with tears in your eyes. “Play it back.” he said and Changbin clicked the mouse and replayed the part he just recorded.

Your whiny moan played in the background with the baseline. The three of them looked at each other, “So, we’re doing this?” Chan asked with a laugh. You got off of him quickly, “Start recording! I’m gonna cum!” you yelped and Changbin quickly hit record and brought the microphone closer to you. You huffed out a few light moans, growing louder and louder until your orgasm washed over you. “Ahhhh!” you cried out beautifully, the boys stunned from the noise you had just made.Jisung chuckled and stuttered against you, soon reaching his peak. He sighed and leaned down, kissing the back of you neck and trailing soft kisses down your back.

Your throbbing core spasmed on his softening cock before he finally slipped out of you. Jisung then tucked himself into his pants and went to the computer to review what was going on. “Come here babe.” Chan said and he brought you by your hand to sit on his cock. Your breath hitched and he bottomed out, your hands going to his shirt and gripping hard. “Play that one back.” Chan said as you began riding the leaders cock, greedily bouncing up and down as your orgasming moans played from the computer speaker. Chan removed your top and immediately grabbed your breasts and squeezed them through your bra. “That one might be a little, too suggestive.” he pumped up into you, meeting your hips with his. Changbin and Jisung agreed and began editing it to sound more subtle. Your head rested on his chest as you moaned and whined with how good he was fucking you. “Babe,” he said softly and turned your face to his. “Thank you.” he whispered against your lips and you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him, nibbling on his lower lip before you pulled away. He lifted you up and moved you to lay on your back on the couch. He grabbed one of your legs and pulled it closer to his body, letting the other hang off of the couch.

The sounds of your soaked and messy cunt caused the other men to look over at you getting fucked. Chan was fucking you so hard, your breasts bounced wildly with every thrust. “Damn.” Changbin said and stood up, and moved closer to you to fill your open mouth with his cock once again. “Let me try something,” Jisung mumbled and sat down, turning his attention to the computer. He clicked away and worked as you got pounded behind him: Chan picked up his pace, his thrusts becoming more brutal and precise, “See if there’s some samples saved, and add some autotune.” Chan grunted through his teeth, his hips stuttering as he climaxed. His seed shot into you and he moaned, breathy and soft. The sound of his moans and his last hard thrusts caused you to cum once again, your body involuntarily pulling away from him as you couldn’t handle the overstimulation.

“Auto tune? On the moans?” Jisung asked as he turned his head to look at Chan, who was standing up and stuffing himself back into his shorts. He went over to the computer and the two of them started disagreeing on how to finish the song. Changbin pulled out of your mouth and came to help you to stand up with a strong grip on your hand, “Just do rock, paper, scissors.” Changbin suggested and the other men began playing rock, paper, scissors to see if there will be auto tune or not. “Idiots,” Changbin said under his breath and the two of you laughed.

He turned you so that your back was to him, then he lifted you up, holding your thighs and arms with his arms over you.He thrust up into you, his balls slapping against your ass loudly. The arguing men quickly noticed what was going on, their heads turning and jaws going slack as Changbin used his strength to fuck you in a full vaginal nelson.

“Ahhh fuck!.” you cried out as he fucked you fast and deep. Jisung tapped chan to start recording and put the microphone in front of you, capturing your babbles and moans for them to hear later. “Assholes,” you huffed out, feeling your body go flush, all of a sudden feeling slightly embarrassed. The men teased you and laughed with you as Changbin continued.

“Well the songs almost done, just a bit more tweaking.” Chan said and focused on his work. Jisung brought his hand to your cunt, using his fingers to rub your clit, “Good, I’m so ready to head home,” he sighed and rubbed you faster. Changbin picked up his pace, fucking you faster, “You close?” You nodded, tears falling from your eyes at this point, “Yes Binnie.” Jisung continued to rub you, and along with Changbin’s brutal thrusts, you soon came, squirting with a small scream. The youngest’s jaw dropped as he got wet in the process, “Wow! Do it again!”

Changbin soon came into you, his strong arms holding you tight as he grunted out his climax. He sighed and put you on the floor, kissing your cheek before you stumbled and fell into Jisung’s body. He held you close, “Okay fine, maybe next time.” he kissed you on the lips and brought you to sit on the couch, which soon turned into you laying on his and Changbin’s laps. Chan came over and kissed you on the forehead, “Let me clean you up.” His voice was soothing as he grabbed some tissues to clean you and gave you the spare shirt and shorts he kept in his studio for emergencies.

The four of you relaxed and ate after the intense session. Changbin massaged your legs and feet, while Jisung rubbed your head gently and occasionally bent down to kiss you. Chan sat on the floor next to you, eating his food and feeding you at the same time. Once he was done, he went over to the computer, “Ok so, this is the song so far.” The song that played through the speakers was a slow r&b track with high hats and a sample of Chans vocals, along with your occasional moans hidden in the background music. “And heres what it sounds like with autotune.” he said and played the song. It sounded horrible, definitely not as good as the first. You all agreed it was trash with a look at one another, Jisung breaking out into a contagious laugh. They teased the way your moans sounded with the note changes thanks to the tuning, something you were sure they’d never stop doing for a while. You just laughed and enjoyed the moment with them, ecstatic that they cared about you so much and that you could truly be yourself with them.

A/N: no because tell me they wouldn’t tease you relentlessly with auto tune moan jokes lmao also this definitely isn’t one of MY fantasies 👀 you have no proof!!

[hanta-seros-wifey]

something in the orange| fratboy!katsuki bakugo x f!softgirl!reader

summary: childhood competitive friends take a college cooking course together for fun. katsuki bakugo, our amazing frat boy, and y/n, our amazing soft hearted girl. katsuki has a soft spot for her, but because of his ego won't let it show. denki being denki, lets a secret spill out which can ultimately make or break your friendship with katsuki bakugo

authors note: reader is best friends with denki, sero, kyoka, and tenya!!

chapter 1: history

��cmon kats!” 6 year old you yelled out as you ran to the swings. “i’ll beat you!” he said as he picked up his pace to catch up. you reached the swings first and did your victory dance upon beating him. “who’s the loser now” you taunted and katsuki only scoffed and kicked the woodchips under him.

he walked away leaving you confused and sad. it was then your competitive friendship began. was it a friendship? you would call it that yes. he would taunt you and you’d do the same back. it got worse upon reaching middle school.

“loser i got an A” he shoved his math test in your face as he looked down at yours which said a C+. “fuck you katsuki” you said shoving him and getting up. “how are you gonna let the nerd beat you?” he taunts after you pointing over at izuku who had an A as well on his math test.

“just shut the fuck up for once” you said and walked out. it carried on like that in middle school and high school. “im applying to UA University how bout you?” you told izuku as he stammered to say he was applying there too.

“you losers wont get in, especially you princess” he teases you and you scoff. “it has a 10% acceptance rate theres no way they’ll accept the 3 of us” he said trying to reason with you. one thing about katsuki bakugo, he can be a dick to everyone including you, but there was a limit for you.

we can call it a soft spot for sure. he wont let his ego show it though. you applied anyway and three months later got the acceptance. you facetimed katsuki. “GUESS WHAT LOSER” you yelled into the camera as you held up your letter of acceptance. “I GOT IN!” you exclaimed jumping around your room.

“knew it dumbass” he smirked and held his up too. “guess we’ll be going to college together” he grumbles as if it bothers him. he’s actually glad. it means he gets to see you more.

“got a scholarship though” he brags leaning back in his chair. “for track and field no way?” you said a little bit jealous. you both were on the track team and you think youre pretty good at the events you do, but katsuki getting a scholarship is just another reason why he’s better than you.

“dont let it get out i want it to be a surprise” he winks at you and you roll your eyes. “what’d you apply as?” you ask him and he smirks. “applied for computer science and you?” he asks you. “dance” you said sheepishly as you looked at him through the camera. his face turns into one of shock.

“its hard to get into the college of dance and you got in?” he says his face turning into a smile. “yea” you said hiding your face now. “looks like you’ve one upped me this time princess” he teases and you smile. “well i gotta go katsuki congratulations” you said sincerely.

“bye congratulations to you too” he said before turning off the facetime. you blush as you got up. your stupid big crush on katsuki only growing stronger. you cant do anything about it though. which is why when you get to college, its time for boy searching.

●~*

your parents helped you settle into your dorm. what you really liked about the dorm system in this school, was 1. that it was co-ed and 2. you had a room to yourself. "hey! just popping in to see who my neighbor is!" you hear and you turn to see a tall woman with a kind smile.

"hi im y/n, its so nice to meet you! and yours?" you asked trailing off as you reached to shake her hand. "momo yayorozu, its nice to meet you too! i live to the left of you 5C on your right it's a male in 5E" she informed you. you nodded your head and smiled at her.

"well i'll see you around" she waves and walks off to the stairs. "okay were done here sweetie" your mom said grabbing her bag and you smiled at her. your other mom kissed your head and pulled you in for a hug. "have fun, but not too much" she squeezes you.

"let me walk you guys out" you said closing your dorm, locking it. you walk down the flight of stairs and when reaching the fourth floor your moms let out a gasp. "mitsuki bakugo?" they giggled as they moved to hug their longtime friend. you looked at katsuki as he stared at you confused.

"youre dorming in this building too?" he asks you bothered at the fact you chose this building. you nodded and forced your moms to leave. katsuki smirked before going into his dorm and locking it, bidding a goodbye to his mom.

you walked back up to the fifth floor and when doing so collided with two others. you looked up to see a boy with half white and half red hair and another with a mullet. “woah slow down” the one with the mullet joked.

“let me guess are you a todoroki?” you asked looking up at the boy and he sighs nodding yes. “nice to meet you” you smiled and he gave a tight lipped one back. “hanta sero” mullet boy introduces and takes your hand kissing it.

perfect, you thought.

you blushed at his actions and proceeded to tell both boys your name. “i live in 5D” you said and hanta smiled. “awesome im in 5E” he informs you and you recall momo telling you a male was to your right. “well nice to meet you neighbor” you winked and walked off. “i didnt get to tell her my name” you heard todoroki say and you giggled entering your room.

a knock was heard at your door and you moved to open it. “why are you in this building” katsuki demanded as he walked in. “welcome?” you questioned closing your door. “yeah whatever why-“ he was interrupted by a knock on your door. you opened it to see hanta and you smiled.

he leaned against your door frame and smiled at you. katsuki scoffed in annoyance. “hey señorita came to give this to you” he said handing you your wallet. you grabbed it from him thanking him.

“already have a boy over you move fast” he teased as he looked at katsuki standing not far from you. “just my childhood frenemy” you rolled your eyes looking at katsuki. “yea you interrupted something can you get the fuck out?” he grumbled and you slapped his arm.

“dont be fucking rude” you said giving him attitude and you turned back to sero. “came to ask you something too” he said nervously as he looked down at his feet and then back to you. “would you like to grab coffee sometime on campus?” he asks and you immediately nod your head.

he smiles at you bidding you a goodbye and you closed your door. “already looking for a man?” katsuki scoffed and laughed lightly. “im an 18 year old girl of course i am” you said matter of factly.

“i was thinking” he starts and you look up at him. “you haven’t registered for classes yet have you?” he asks and you nod your head. “i did but we can still add some to our schedule if we’d like” you said moving around him to place your wallet on your desk.

“they offer a cooking class for fun, wanna take it together?” he says and you can hear the smirk in his voice. “are you challenging me katsuki or do you just wanna spend time with me?” you smiled sweetly at him.

your smile made his heart melt and he covered it up by just smirking at you again. “a challenge see who gets the better grade” he said and you think about it. “deal” you said holding your hand out. he shakes it sealing the deal. “im so gonna win” he scoffs and you stick your tongue out at him.

[billluver0124]

"you think im gonna stop?"

synopsis: bill whos worried sick finds y/n in an alleyway, on yet another bender. bill tries to help her change her ways, but will y/n ever really stop drinking? WARNINGS: heavy alcohol use, cursing, angst themes

No one really knows how it started to bloom, but y/n had a very unhealthy drinking habit. you could always spot her with an alcoholic drink in her hand, almost as if she was a magnet for alcohol. Everytime she drank she would go on a bender that would last days, weeks, one time it was a month. she had to be hospitalized that time. but even after that, she never stopped drinking. normally after people got tired of her behavior they would leave her life, but bill was different, he always stayed and took care of her.

Y/n and bill have known each other since middle school, she defended him a lot when it came to the bullying he went through in school. he was always grateful for that. them two as a duo were inseparable, stuck together like glue. it pained him to see her like this now, especially since this was a very close friend of his. Y/n was now on yet another bender, but this time it was different. normally you would catch her at a nearby bar or outside of it if the staff kicked her out. but she wasnt there. bill drove around to every bar she was a regular at, and she was nowhere to be found. where could she possibly have gone? bill thought to himself as he was growing more worried by the second. he searched all over town, for sure knowing that she couldnt have gone that far. but its been three days, anything is possible at this point.

Just as he was about to call it a night, he finds her asleep in a nearby alleyway. her clothes torn and her shirt barely on her torso. but luckily she had a carhartt jacket to keep her warm. her skin was so pale, her eye bags were so dark and she reeked of whiskey, and conveniently enough there was an empty bottle of jack daniels in her hand. she looked terrible.

"y/n get up.." bill shakes her awake, she wakes up confused. "where am i?" bill doesnt answer her, he helps her up and takes her to his car. helping her into the passenger seat and hopping in the driver's seat, continuing the drive home. As they were driving, y/n spots a bar. "can you stop at the bar? i wanna go get a drink please" the effects of the alcohol from yesterday havent even faded yet, how could she possibly want another drink? "absolutely not." bill said, his tone serious. "awh c'mon billy.." she whined drunkenly, "youre not even sober right now" "im sober enough to want another drink" y/n rolled her eyes, digging into her pocket to find three mini shot bottles in there. she smiled as she opens one and downs the entire shot. bill looking over and noticing "are you serious y/n?" bill snatches the other two bottles, throwing them out of his car side window. "what the hell bill?! i was gonna drink those!" she yelled, slurring every word "thats exactly why i threw them" he replied.

they finally reached his house, bill gets out to go help y/n inside. they get inside, bill taking her shoes off and hanging her jacket. he takes her to his couch and sits her down, sitting on the coffee table right in front of her. "we need to talk" he says, y/n not even replying. she just glared at him as he continued speaking. "im worried about you, you cant just go on these crazy benders because you feel like it y/n" he speaks, holding her hands in his to try and get her to listen. "im a grown ass woman bill, im fucking 27 years old. if i want a drink i can drink." she said bluntly, her tone was calm but she sounded like she wanted to yell at him. "this isnt just a drink y/n, this is unhealthy!" bill snapped, getting up from where he was sitting "you can and will die from this if you keep drinking for fucks sake!" he yelled, tears prickling his eyes. y/n scoffed at him, bill takes a breath attempting to calm himself "i care about you y/n, ive been the one to take care of you everytime you go on a bender. you are my best friend, youve been with me since middle school..." bill voice begins to crack "d-dont i mean something to you..?" he asked, tears spilling out of his eyes.

"you think youre special or something?" she replied, "w-what?" he asked, clearly confused by her question. "you think im gonna stop for you? just because you chose to stay doesnt mean that im just gonna quit for you." she spoke harshly, each word felt like a shatter in bills heart.

y/n gets up from the couch "y/n-" "what? you willingly chose to stay in my life bill, you have the right to leave. i didnt beg for anyone else to stay and i wont fucking beg for you either." bill grabs her wrist "please y/n, i just want you to be okay" y/n snatches his hand from her wrist "no fuck that" she said, walking over to grab her stuff "im outta here, see you around bill" she slams the door as she left, the sound of the door triggering bills tears. he flops on the couch, face in his hands as he cried. he cared so much about y/n, he knew the words she said she didnt mean; but oh god were they so painful to hear. he didnt want to see her asleep in an alleyway again. or worse, dead in a casket. bill just wanted y/n to be like the way she used to be; smiley, bubbly, kind, beautiful. she was still beautiful but now she was also mean and vile. what happened to the y/n bill once knew? will she ever come back or is she just...gone?

authors note!! omg two stories in one night? woah crazy! anyways, i enjoyed making this one and i hope you guys enjoy it too>.< love you guys<33

[rockermybuddie]

Second thoughts

Rocker x reader

Story 4

Summary: Its been five months since you were shot and you and rocker have officially dated. Its almost time for you to go back to work but theres a secret thats been keeping you awake and you’re unsure of what to do.

A/n: im not sure how many stories im going to put in this series lol.

———————

You stare up at the dark ceiling as you have for the past three months. Every night you fall asleep for two hours but is woken up by a reoccurring dream that you wish would just go away.

But its not that easy.

You pick up your phone to check the time, 4:10am. The bright light hurting your eyes you quickly put your phone down hoping it didnt wake Rocker.

“Babe?” You hear a low mumble then felt a hand pull your waist closer to the warm strong furnace laying in the bed next to you.

“Just checking the time.” You tell him giving him a small peck on the lips. You snuggle your head in the crevice of his neck and shoulder as you try to drift back off into sleep.

You sit up in a dripping sweat, trying to catch your breath. You look over and see Rocker asleep facing the other way.

“Damn it.” You mutter out, you just had another one of those dreams in the same night. You grab your stomach, where your were shot, as you check the time. 5:07. Almost an hour since the last one.

Rocker is about to wake up for work so instead of trying to go back to sleep or pretending that you’re asleep when Rocker wakes up. You decide to go make him some breakfast.

As you stand infront of the hot stove you feel two arms wrap around you and all of a sudden its a hundred degrees in the room.

“Whats all this?” Rocker asks, his voice still raspy from sleep. “Breakfast for my favorite human being.” You answer. Rock plants a fat sloppy wet kiss on your neck as he leaves to get the orange juice from the fridge.

The two of you sat at the table and ate breakfast together as you thought about where you are in life.

Not where you want to be.

Rocker got ready for work and the two of you said your goodbyes. You watched Rocker back out of the drive way and watched him all the way down the road intill you couldn’t see him anymore.

You head back into the kitchen to clean up after breakfast. As you’re doing the dishes you get a flashback from the bank robbery.

“Ahh!” You scream as you grab your stomach in pain. You stumble backwards falling to the floor.

——

When you open your eyes you see the floor and broken glass infront of you. Your head is pounding, lifting your hand to try to rub the pain away in your head you see blood dripping down your arm from the palm of your hand.

“Shit.” You mutter as you grab the hand towel hanging from the door and wrap your hand it.

The room is spinning, so its not a good idea to stand up but you dont want to call Rocker either. Not when hes at work, he’ll just worry about you and he cant do that, he needs to be focused.

You pull out your phone and call the next person that comes to your mind. “The key is under the plant.” You tell him.

Only 10 minutes later Deacon comes walking in the kitchen. He sees the broken glass and blood on the floor. “What happened?” He asks kneeling down beside you.

He looks at the giant bump and bruise forming on your head and then at the bloody towel wrapped around your hand.

“I dont know. I fell. Thats all i can remember.” You tell him. “I’m taking you to the hospital.” Deacon scoops you up in his arms and carries you to his car.

He pulls out his phone. “Please dont call Rocker.” You ask him. He looks at you with concern and confusion. “Im calling Hondo.” He tells you.

You lay your head against the window as he turns on his lights and sirens.

At the hospital they stitched up your hand, 20 stitches. They said you have a grade 2 concussion. You just need to rest and you should be fine in a few days.

“What happened?” Deacon asks again when the two of you get in the car. “I told you, I don’t know.” You tell him, not wanting to have this conversation.

“You were supposed to return back to work in a few days, then this happens? I dont think thats a coincidence.” Deacon says. You let out a heavy breath, Deacon is good at reading people he knows you are hiding something.

You were about to talk to him but his phone rang.

“Its Hondo.” He says before answering it.

“They need me back at HQ. I don’t have time to drop you back off at Rockers.” He says apologetically as he drives to HQ.

You hope Rocker is out on a call.

———

You and Deacon pull up to HQ, he gets out and heads in to the main roon as you walk in slowly behind him.

The doctors gave you some pain meds that are making you a little loopy. As you turn the corner you stumble into something but are caught by two strong arms.

“Sweetheart? What are you doing here?” A familiar voice asks. “Rocker?” You mumble.

He gets you steady on your feet and lifts your face up by your chin with his fingers. “What happened to you?!” He asks when he sees the bump and brusing on your face.

“I fell. But im okay.” You tell him. “Well maybe not my hand. It has 20 stitches in it.” You let out a small laugh as you lift your bandage hand.

“Why didnt you call me? Did you drive yourself?!” Rocker asks concerned as he hopes you didn’t drive yourself to the hospital and then here.

“I didnt want to worry you while you are at work. I called Deacon.” You point at the meeting hes in but hes focused on what Hicks is telling 20 squad.

“I’m taking you home. Stay here.” Rocker orders as he sets you down on some creat in the hallway.

He leaves to tell Hicks is done for the shift that theres a family emergency. He leaves his 60-david in charge of the team.

———-

When you and Rocker arrive back at his house he carries you up to the bedroom. He places a glass of water next to you as he goes back downstairs and cleans up the kitchen.

Rocker soon comes back upstairs and makes himself comfortable on the bed bringing you in close to him.

“What happened? How did you get hurt?” He asks.

“I dont remember. I just remember waking up on the floor.” You tell him.

“Did you black out? Did you trip?” He asks. “I said i dont remember.” You snap. “Okay. Okay.” Rocker rubs your arm with his hand as he kisses the top of your head.

This is why you didnt call Rocker. He should be at work right now, not sitting in a bed with someone who doesn’t know whats going on in her life.

——-

You’re sitting on the couch downstairs, its 2am and you cant sleep because theres too much going on in your brain.

“I dont know. Im having second thoughts about it. What should I do?” You ask balancing the phone between your ear and shoulder as you fidget with your fingers.

Rocker sits at the bottom of the steps and listens.

“What if I regret it?” You ask. “Who are you talking to?” Rockers voice makes you jump, you look up at him and he looks aggravated? Mad? Tired? You arent sure.

He grabs your phone and sees Deacons name across the screen. “She’ll call you back.” Rocker says into the phone and hangs up.

“What the hell?!” You scream, you try to snatch your phone back but he lifts it above his head. “You are so childish.” You snap at him.

“We need to talk.” Rocker finally says. “Rocker you didnt hear the whole conversation.” You tell him.

“I heard enough.” He says, he walks around the couch and sits down. Leaving a gap between you and him. You don’t mind though, not with the way he’s acting.

“Are you breaking up with me?” He asks. “What? No.” You say. You can see the relief fill his face.

Youbtell Rocker you’re unsure if you want to join SWAT back.

“Did you hurt yourself on purpose so you didnt have to go back to work?” Rocker asks, a hince of concern in his voice. “No. Why does everyone think that.” You rub you face in your hands.

“Everyone?” Rocker asks feeling more left out than he already does. “By everyone, i mean Deacon. Rocker i only called him and talked to him because hes like an older brother to me. He has helped me before and i just feel comfortable talking to him about life decisions.” You tell him.

“I understand. Just know im always here for you.” Rocker tells you. “I know.” You give him a small smile.

The two of you talk more about you returning back to SWAT.

——

A/n: This is probably gonna be the last story to this series. It went better in my head i just couldn’t write it as good as i had hoped. The stories just arent doing as well as my others, so im just going to stick with writing 911 stories.

For those who read these, thank you so much! Means a lot to me <3 i promise.

[reorientation]

okay nothing in this world has ever made me flood with need the way seeing my asks linked and tagged as 'respect anon' did. little update - ive been getting railed so often (11 times total now since mid november) that i have a bruised cervix. it hurts in such a delicious way, makes me hyperaware of what i am, almost feels reminiscent of cramps.

my original hookup ive now seen six times, and he wants to see me once a week minimum. the way he murmurs "good girl" so encouragingly to me, his strength, and the insanely erotic feeling of him breeding me, have all bewitched me. the texture of semen exploding into a wet cunt is so unique and im obsessed, its a different consistency from my own wetness, so i can always feel the exact moment hes fucking his sperm into my fertile body, even when i dont feel him throbbing through it (which i usually can).

other than him, ive fucked four other guys in the last month. each and every one of them came in me bare. i hoped a few times would sate me but if anything its fanning the flames. on my neediest day i had three guys come over one after another to fill me, the first was my original guy, and the other two were completely random, and they all treated me so perfectly honestly.

the third one in particular fulfilled my need to have a real man coax me into admitting my real name, he fucked me hard and fast and used his filthy tongue to slip into my subconscious mind and loosen my inhibitions until he got it out of me. then he used it over and over again while he fucked a baby into me, slapped my well-bred pussy till i begged him to stop, then held me so tightly. i felt so dazed and safe and feminine in his arms.

it feels so good to have a man respect me enough to give me what i really need, especially when im being brave enough to ask for something i was so afraid to even acknowledge about myself. and it especially feels good when he looks right into my eyes while pounding me and reminding me of the truth.

fuck sorry for multiple asks i literally just cannot stop thinking about being dubbed 'respect anon' its driving me crazy. i can feel my pulse everywhere, but it seems to pool in the places that make me a woman: my clit, my pussy lips, my aching dripping vagina, and my breasts. i can feel my pulse in my fucking nipples. and also usually my temples but thats off theme.

i cant get over how good it feels to be fucked. i never in a million years expected how endlessly perfect it would be, ive found partners that emanate joy together with me and its so much fun and so erotic. the original guy in particular, just takes so much joy in fixing me and in enjoying my cunt, i often end up watching the filthy reactions on his face as he watches my pussy clench around him. he watches us join together as one, my cunt singing with pleasure, i always ask him if theres anything else i can do for him and he almost always says "lay back and take it." like, yes sir!

once i was riding him and his hands were clenching my hips tight, i love riding because it makes my breasts bounce and heave so deliciously. he was staring at them, i was moaning like a bitch in heat feeling him stretch me out in an angle we dont normally do, and suddenly he looked me in the eye and said "you have a womans body." swear if id been on my back i would have orgasmed right then and there. he sometimes goes back and forth in what gendered terms he uses and it keeps my mind spinning with confusion and desperation. we are both bi and im pretty sure our current dynamic is heaven for us both.

there are so many filthy details i want to share with you. feels like i could babble all day about the things that have happened, but it all boils down to this: im a woman, obsessed with taking cock, finally letting herself enjoy some wonderful company, and it wont be long until im the sluttiest pregnant girl grindr has ever seen, hahahah.

respect anon back with one last thought because ive been obsessively rereading your two responses to me so far. when i begged him to refeminize me, "it doesn't even sound like he was surprised." nope! in fact he laughed at me, he laughed and said "fuuck yes." in that moment, i knew that he had already known, and was waiting to see if id admit it. with him, i have this manic energy where i come off completely insane over text, and his steady energy only serves to wind me up more. i think he knew id cave and beg to be detransitioned, my pics are all pretty high femme and lets just say im not ever subtle about my femininity.

the weird thing is, i only have that manic energy with him. i dont know if its because hes genuinely the hottest guy ive ever met, or because he took my virginity, or because he succeeded in breaking my mind. but the other guys ive slept with, while they blow my mind and show me what im for, i dont make such a fool of myself to them.

genuinely with him i have lost all semblance of self-respect and it proves right everything he has ever whispered into my ear.

(Previously)

All that fun you've been having, going from being a virgin to getting inseminated by five different men within a couple months - and nothing ever made you flood like my tagging system? I'm very flattered, Anon! A bit bemused, but flattered.

So much to speak to here, but one part I truly love is that your new life as a woman started with the first man to use your pussy laughing at you. Like your whole identity as a man had been one long joke you were telling, and you'd finally gotten to the punchline.

That's what real respect looks like for you, isn't it, Anon? A man who'll wait for you to finish telling the joke before he laughs.

And the man who made you tell him your real name while he fucked you full of cum... There's a pleasing symmetry to that. He got something out of you and put something into you. He learned what they called you when you were born, and maybe gave you a baby to call your own.

Which is what you're made for, after all. Your body never stops reminding you of that, whether it's with the pain of a bruised cervix or your blood pulsing in your swollen nipples or the unstoppable pleasure of taking a man's cum in your womb. It's little wonder that you've come so far since getting fucked for the first time, little lady: your body was just waiting for the chance to start.

[mars101]

❝ Insomnia ❞

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☆ PAIRING = ex!seonghwa x ex!reader

☆ GENRE = second chances, ex's to ???

☆ WARNINGS = slight angst, talks of miscommunication, mentions of food, they fall down a hill (😭), the pov confusing and idk either

☆ WORD COUNT = 4.8k

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★ SYNOPSIS = communication or the lack of was the reason that brought you and seonghwa apart, your friends hope that a single conversation in a locked room will bring you two back together.

★ RELEASE DATE = 10/09/23

★ SONG INSPO = insomnia -> yukika

★ AUTHOR'S NOTE = im finally done with this damn oneshot, i cant omg. months of quitting and regaining my inspiration finally payed off… ok pls have fun reading, sunny's an oc btw ok antyways happy reads !! <33

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Act 1: Our Present

"I know you two were once in love."

"So where's the place?"

Mumbles are heard through the phone as Hongjoong starts to walk towards the window. "Turn your stereo down and maybe you'll finally hear me. Are you sure you're actually here?" his words are stretched out as he cranes his neck to look out into the street. The gps on your phone continues to say one minute away, you roll your eyes as it's been saying that for the last four minutes.

"Y/n. There's three cars outside alright?-" 'Okay" "We are the third house from the top of the hill-" "Why so high?" "And then Wooyoung and... oh wait.. Wooyoung and Seonghwa should be outside."

The car goes silent as now the only thing you hear is the soft rumbling of the car and the faint sounds of the music you turned down earlier. I mean you knew you were going to see him eventually but you didn't think it'll be this soon.

"Do you want me to make an excuse for him to come inside?"

Hongjoong's question brought you out of your silence, "No no, I mean it's been a year now, I should be alright." Keyword: "Should". It seems that after he said that, the house your friends had rented popped into view as you see the two mentioned.

"Oh is that you-" "Okay bye." You hang up on Hongjoong as Wooyoung starts to wave at you in the car, for someone who drove for two hours he looks far too cheerful. To his right was him. The smile that kept you up at night plastered on his face as you two kept the eye contact for longer than the eye contact for exes should be.

"Y/n noona!, lower the window!!"

"Wooyoung, you don't need to yell when you are right outside the window" said boy instantly leans into the car once the window is fully rolled down, already making himself comfortable. "So what? I just wanted to talk to you, it's been too longgg" he was dragging out his words as his bottom lip poked out.

You poked his forehead as you gestured him to move away, "Woo, I was at your birthday party two months ago. Now move it's cold, some people want to go inside." Wooyoung let you turn your car off as he went to the trunk of your car to help you bring stuff in. (it was only three things)

As you stepped out of your car you heard another set of footsteps come near you. The breath gets caught in your throat as you already know who's going to be behind you. The soft and clean scent still follows him after a year, oh how much you missed it.

"Do you need any help?" The sparkle in his eyes as he looks down at you has you wondering if this is real or a dream. Even at Wooyoung's birthday you were having a hard time even looking at him from across the room, but now that he's right in front of you it's making you feel as if every single emotion you've once felt with him is coming back like like a storm.

"Oh, I- Uh- I think-" "Hyung, I left the heavy things for you" Wooyoung makes eye-contact with you and he sends a wink your way. As you turn back to Seonghwa you notice he's looking at your necklace. His necklace that he gave you for your first anniversary. "Well uh, I think you can help me with the bag then."

The first few steps you two took to the trunk of your car was so awkward as you both didn't know what to say. "So, how have you been? I would've talked to you before at Wooyoung's party but I was too scared honestly", "You? Scared?" You couldn't help but to stare at him as a small smirk grew on his face. "Wait, I wouldn't say scared then, maybe just nervous,"

As he handed you your smaller bag and pulled out the bigger bag you also noticed something. A watch. The watch you gave him on that same anniversary.

knock knock knock

"Oh god, what are the kids doing up there.." You follow the direction of his eyes which is where the knocks came from as you see the 99's now scolding San for knocking at the window. "I think we should go inside now, Wooyoung started to eat your snacks." His pointed finger leads to Wooyoung inside flailing the bag of chips around as he walks in a circle around the poor boy.

The place they rented was big, but it felt full with the light music that was playing from Jongho's speaker and the sounds of yelling from the dining area.

You feel Seonghwa take your bag from your shoulder as his warm hand lingers just a bit longer than needed. "Y/n, I'll bring this to your room. Ah, Joong told you that you're rooming with Sunny right?" You nod remembering that it was actually said girl who texted you after months, excited that the two of you will be sharing a room.

"Yeah yeah. I'll be over there greeting everyone so.." The words trail away as it becomes silent again but the man in front of you keeps his smile as he turns you around pushing you lightly towards where everyone is.

The noise becomes louder as you step into the room, only Hongjoong and Jongho seems to notice you as the rest excluding Yeosang and Sunny are somewhere else.

"Hey hey!" The younger of the two raises his hand as a greeting as you give the other a hug. "Hi to our Jongho~ and bye to this loser over here", "Loser?? Did you forget who won the race to the rest station?", "Race??? You only said that after you got there!"

Out of all the people here (there's only 10 including you) you’ve known these two the longest. Meeting both Hongjoong and Jongho in the gym class that included each grade during high school. After beating the two in the class run, races for literally anything has become apart of your friendship.

“Alright alright we already have one argument going on we don’t need another…Noona you were the latest to arrive here though..” A smack on the boy’s shoulder followed with a chuckle from him made you realize. Why are those four still arguing?

“What are they talking about?” As you pushed yourself up onto the counter the two had been sitting on Hongjoong puts his arm around your shoulders slightly shaking you. “How San ruined the moment you and Seonghwa had out there” “M-moment, we were just- he was just helping me with my bags.”

He turned his head to Jongho who’s shaking his head in disagreement with the other, “Hyung. That is not a “moment” the two couldn’t even hold eye contact for that long.” “Exactly why it was a moment. The two were so shy after seeing each other they couldn’t look into each other’s shining eyes.” He turns to you teasingly batting his eyelashes.

You push him off you as the three of you are left with smiles on your faces, then eye-contact is shared with the boy who has been scolded for the last 5 minutes. A yelp is let out from him as he finally sees you entered the room. “Ahhh, when did you get in here???”

The three boys freeze then look at where San was looking at. As you wave to them Mingi seems to be startled too when he flinched grabbing onto Yunho's arm for support. “Y/n noona!! It's so nice to see you again!” Yunho said shaking Mingi's arm off heading towards you for a hug.

“I was so worried that you wouldn't come this year, I remember that one year where you didn't come and- Oh, did you hear about what I said about Seonghwa hyung earlier?” His face fell in realization that you were there for most of their banter.

“Oh come on, you know I always used to block out your petty arguements.” he let out a breath as you lightly punched his shoulder. “Noona it's good that you didn't hear what Yunho said because he was always there when Seonghwa-”

Mingi's mouth was covered with a slap by Wooyoung who started to drag the poor boy out of the room. “Oh hey, where's Yeosang? I think we should go look for him, right Mingi? Okay see you guys later”

Silence was shared with you five still in the room until San broke it, “That guy needs to work on his exits.”

As they now lead into a more civilized conversation you head out of the room to where you will be staying. When you enter the room you see Sunny laying on her bed with a half cleared out suitcase on the floor.

“Y/n!!!” The bright girl practically jumps up from the bed to engulf you in a warm hug. “Sunnyyy we were talking not that long ago” the smile on you face being heard as the girl was always so nice to you.

“Hon. I think a month is a long time ago, are you feeling alright here?” She pulls away from the hug slightly keeping her arms around you. “Because like.. you know who is here..”

“Sunny. You can say his name you know? And you were always closer to him than you were with me” the two of you then sit on the bed you were going to be sleeping on.

Her hands are soft as they caress your own, “Yeah I know but..” The breath she takes in makes you worried about her next words.

“Look, I'm not sure what happened to the two of you. But I know that you were once in love, love is something hard to get rid of once its happened and so I hope you'll be comfortable here.”

Act 2: Our Past

"I just reached for you without thinking,"

The next day you all were headed to the ski resort which was near the place you guys had rented out. The 10 of you were split into cars with Seonghwa and Hongjoong being the designated drivers for the 2 cars. During the car ride there, which was only twenty minutes, the two sitting next to you were Sunny and Yeosang. Next to Hongjoong in the front of the car was Jongho who claimed the seat by "falling asleep" as soon as he hit the chair.

"Soooo, have you been dating recently?" the girl to your right says as you pick your head off the window. "Not really," "Why?", Yeosang then pokes his head out from his spot next to Sunny as the two now look at you as if they're scheming something. Hongjoong looks back through the mirror as his eyebrows furrow at the two, "Why are you two so-", "Noona's been single for too long" Jongho cuts him off as he talks in a sleepy voice.

"Jongho you're awake?" Sunny leans her head to the front trying to see him. "I'm sleep talking."

Before Sunny can react to his statement Yeosang puts his arm in front of her to pull her back as he tells you, "Noona, it's been too long since we've talked to you so we just want to catch up!". As he says that, Sunny leans on you making herself comfortable on your shoulder, "Yeah hon, a lot can happen in 10 months."

"But then again nothing can happen in 10 months too," you lay your head on hers as Hongjoong starts to pull the car into the place. "It's been hard finding someone new, because these days no one is... what's the word..? Uhhh-"

knock knock knock

The knocks on the window startle you as both you and Sunny jump. "AH JUNG WOOYOUNG!" He waves behind the window as everyone else starts to exit the car. Wooyoung opens the door for you and Sunny acting like he didn't just startle the two of you.

As Sunny starts to chase him like they're kids again, you head over to where a majority of your friends are. "Ah, Y/n noona, what do you think?" Yunho asks as he bumps his arm on your side. "Do we eat first or should we go and snowboard?"

"Eat? But we just ate breakfast earlier?-" , "Guys, you see that! That's why we should go snowboard first!" You anticipate the upcoming debate between the group as you look around for where the usual peacemakers are.

Both Seonghwa and Hongjoong are taking pictures by the entrance as you decide to walk towards them. Seonghwa watches your every move towards them as a smile grows on his face, "Seonghwa!! Good smile, this picture will turn out perfect"

By the time you reach them Hongjoong is on the ground getting the perfect angle and Seonghwa waves you over to come next to him. Hongjoong notices this and turns his head, "Oh Y/n join the picture, I just got the perfect angle"

The man on the floor makes you feel as if you're on the cover of Vogue with the way he seems to snap a pic every split second. The blinding flash from his phone is as bright as the white snow everywhere. "Alright alright, you took a lot of pictures already." Next to you Seonghwa brings up a hand to block your eyes from the light.

"Ah wait wait. Just one more..?"

You held the hand in front of your view bringing it down to look at your friend but something behind him takes your attention. "Oh not again.."

The three of you looked at each other before you went over to the booming crowd of your friends. Their voices carrying through-out the entrance (which you're all still in by the way).

"No! I'm telling you, eating first is better before skiing!!"

"Wooyoung-ah I love you but no-"

"Ah ah kids be quiet. What do you guys think?"

Seonghwa looked at you as you shrugged at him gesturing him to just answer, "uhh I think we should just go ski or snowboard first because we already ate earlier."

"Wow of course the two love birds say the same thing."

...

....

Sunny....

The once noisy group of friends were now silent as everyone stared at Sunny who now seemed to realize what she said. In a panic she bursts out in a laugh at the awkwardness that she created, the others joined in slowly as they look around for something more interesting.

Hongjoong, who was deep in thought the whole time broke the awkwardness, "Why don't we just split up? The ones who want to eat go eat first and the others go skiing and snowboarding first." Murmurs of agreement went around as some felt embarrassed because of the simple solution.

"Okay then byebye~~" Sunny was the first to head inside the building to eat dragging Hongjoong with her. You felt something (or someone) get pulled away from your hands as Jongho put himself between you and Seonghwa, "You young people are so cute holding hands"

A smack on both of his shoulders from the two of you came after his comment with the tall duo snickering at the side. The three of them went on forward into the place as you and Seonghwa were left side by side.

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"Did you ever want to see what'll happen if you fall off this swing?"

"Ask another stupid question and I'll push you off your seat."

Your foot that isn't connected to the snowboard you rented knocked into the boy's foot next to you. Jongho was seated in between you and Seonghwa, Mingi and Yunho were in the row in front of you guys and kept on turning around occasionally to wave at you three.

Behind the seat your arm and Seonghwa's kept on bumping into each other. In a way, they were like magnets wanting to stay together. "Oh my what is this?"

The younger one put the two of your arms together as he then layed on it, "My arm rests are back," His comment made the two of you scoff but the proud expression on his face was too cute to make you mad.

Seonghwa made eye contact with you before the two of you made a silent agreement. "Oh is the baby happy??" Seonghwa ruffled the boy's hair as you pinched his cheek, "Aww, our baby is so so happy"

"Alright alright, I'll get off," his pouted look made you lean him onto your shoulder. Another wave was sent towards Mingi who turned around again as a squeeze was felt from Seonghwa's hand which was still on your arm.

Jongho let out an exaggerated sigh as you locked eyes with Seonghwa, "Honestly.. I missed this," he mumbled into your shoulder. "Missed what?"

"Well, this. I missed when you two would act like my parents." you used your other hand to pat his head while your eyes stayed locked on Seonghwa's. "I missed it too Jong."

The eye contact was broken as you heard a loud laugh from Yunho after it seemed Mingi fell forward when getting off his seat. "Man I hate this part the most." With a grunt you jumped off the slow swing with the other two following.

While pushing yourselfs forward Jongho proposed an idea. "Let's have a race down the slope," Yunho was the first to answer with a nudge of his arm, "Okay~ I'm in!"

Mingi puts his arms around the two boys pushing his head on theirs, "Loser pays for food later, right?", "Of course loser pays!," your voice is a bit muffled as you're leaned over with your hand on Seonghwa for support as you put your other foot in the board.

"You guys can do your race and I'll just pay later."

"Oh, hyung why? Is it because you're the only one who picked skiing?"

"What? No, I'm just too slow so-"

The things that happened next were so quick that you could miss it if you weren't paying attention. And you were definitely not focused on the conversation happening.

“Ayyy Seonghwa hyung that doesn't matter, you can still— OH NO!” Jongho paired his words with what was supposed to be a light punch on the shoulder but the boy forgot his own strength.

Your hand still holding onto Seonghwa was pulled as he fell from the impact of Jongho's “light” punch. A wave of profanities escaped your mouth as the two of you rolled down the hill. The male wrapped his arms around you tightly as he repeatedly apologized while keeping a protective hand behind your head.

Luckily your fall stopped before you made the halfway mark of the hill. As you got off of Seonghwa and sat up the words that were going to come out of your mouth halted as his hand slowly ruffled the snow out of your hair.

“Are you okay?” his question snapped you out of your trance as you slapped his hand away, “Of course I'm not.. you didn't need to drag me down with you…” Despite the harsh slap from you he continued to help brush the snow off you.

You let him as the silence engulfed the two of you again, but this time it felt comfortable. The sounds of your breathing was all you heard as you stared at the man in front of you. His features are still as beautiful as they were the last time you admired him.

As his hand went from your hair to your cheek, the two of you locked eyes. “W-why did you pull me down with you..?” The intense eye contact made you nervous as the two of you slowly leaned in.

His nose was eventually touching yours and his warm breath which contrasted the cold air around you radiated on your lips. Before the small gap was closed between you he used his other hand to hold yours as he answered your question.

“I just reached for you without thinking..”

Act 3: Our Future

“More like too late.”

"So..?"

"So what?"

“Oh come on, you think I wouldn't notice when two of my best friends all of a sudden become awkward and nervous with each other, well.. again.”

You and Hongjoong were in the small office that the rented house had, it was late and after the ski resort him and Sunny noticed your mood changes. The couch you two were sitting on was small, meaning there was no space between you two during the conversation.

“Jongho pushed Seonghwa and he dragged me with him down the hill.”

The couch started to shake a little as the man next to you tried to hold in his laughter. Eventually his shakes became giggles and giggles became a full on cackle.

“Are you done yet?”

“No of course not, that's hilarious,”

His laughter continued for a bit until he finally calmed down, manually breathing in and out to control himself before he loses his composure again.

“Alright okay, is that it? I mean falling down a hill together can be embarassing..”

“We kissed.”

The slow fade from a smile to a shocked expression on Hongjoong's face almost scared you with how his whole body melted as his hand even grabbbed onto you for support.

He shook his head to get his thoughts back together as you started to get nervous.

“Well it wasn't really a kiss kiss though, it was only a few seconds because I heard the others coming down the hill after us and-”

“OH MY GOD.”

Your rambling was cut off as Hongjoong now started to freak out, “YOU KISSED?? HOW? WHY? WHAT?”

“Joong. The kiss was probably an in the moment action. It probably meant nothing to him.”

Your voice drifted off as you unknowingly held onto your necklace. Hongjoong notices this and recognizes the necklace that Seonghwa gave you.

“But it meant something to you didn’t it?” he took your silence as an answer as he asked another question, “You still love him don’t you?”

“Of course I still do, we were together for over two years and known each other for longer but our relationship ended in such a regretful way.”

Just as Hongjoong’s hand was about to comfort your shoulder there was a knock at the door. Sunny’s head poked through the door as she smiled at you and gestured for Hongjoong to come out the room, “Oh, I’ll be back Y/n.” when Hongjoong left the room another person was pushed into the room.

The door behind Seonghwa was slammed shut as he was in panic because of the forceful entrance. You watched in confusion as he tries to jiggle the door knob that is being held on the outside by Sunny. Seonghwa gives up with a sigh and turns to you, eyes full of longing as are yours too.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

…..

The room was filled with silence, the only thing heard was the sounds of your breaths. Seonghwa walked closer and sat right next to you. His scent engulfs you as there’s little space between you two. When you turn to look at him, he’s already looking at you.

“I’m sorry about that kiss earlier. I think I just.. missed us.”

You can’t help but to stay silent after his statement, your head was now lowered as your eyes shut.

“Y/n.. why’d you leave me?

“Because you left me first.”

The words were barely audible as they came out of your mouth, but you know he heard it as Seonghwa looked at you with a mixture of sadness and regret in his eyes, and you felt your heart ache at the sight. For a moment, it was as if you were transported back in time to the day when everything ended between you two.

Seonghwa's voice wavered slightly as he spoke, his confusion evident. "Left you? What? It... it was you who ended things between us, Y/n."

“Seonghwa.. did you not realize how much you distanced yourself from me? The last few weeks of our relationship was filled of you practically ignoring me at some points.” Seonghwa's eyes were glimmering in confusion and guilt.

Your gaze softened, and you let out a sigh, leaning back against the couch. The words seemed to hang in the air, a mix of memories and emotions swirling around you both. "I guess we remember our last months together differently..."

Seonghwa kept his eyes on you even when the eye contact was broken as his words were filled with sincerity. “Y/n, I love you. But I was second-guessing myself and thinking I was too clingy and too pushy with you. I was distancing myself to make you less uncomfortable.”

“Why didn't you just talk to me..? Even when I broke up with you, you could have at least said something” You feel your voice waver as it starts to get hard to get words out of your mouth.

“I just wanted what you wanted..”

“But all I wanted was you.”

As those words leave your lips, you feel a few tears run down your face. At the sight of them Seonghwa lets his own tears run free too, he brings his hands to your face to wipe them away and at his touch you break down on him.

He pulls you into a hug as your tears start to soak his t-shirt and his own get lost in your hair. Your arms wrap around him, longing for this feeling again for months. “I never wanted to leave you hwa..” Seonghwa plants a small peck on the top of your head, “I know y/n, I know darling..”

“I should've just talked to you.. I don't know why but I was so scared, I didn't want to lose you. But turns out not even saying something made us break up anyways…” You feel Seonghwa’s hand caress your back while he talks which makes you melt into his touch.

“I'm sorry hwa, I still love you. Never stopped..” You stay quiet after saying that, wanting to bask in the feeling of being close to him again. In a cold room there's the embers of the flame growing again between the two of you.

“Y/n… would you let me take you out again after this trip? On a date.. we can wait a few more days of talking again before you say—”

“I'll go on a date with you Seonghwa and we’ll hold hands and hug and kiss and-” Before you can finish your sentence he pecks your lips, “Too soon?” Seonghwa looks into your eyes with stars in his.

The tears in your eyes from earlier faded away as the grin on your face replaced them. Your hands go to rest on his cheeks as they start to glow a pretty pink. Your noses start to tickle each other as you pull him closer, breath feathering on each others lips.

“More like too late.”

★☆★ AUTHOR'S GOODBYE = AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!! i took so long to write this one-shot that i literally got into and out of a relationship twice… and omg i was supposed to finish this by January but its october now ;-; but anyways thank you for reading! YAYAYAY

☆★☆ TAG LIST = @loonaluvz @sanasour @boomhoon

[spookysteddie]

Lemon Drop Martini

part two

Modern!Steve Harrington x college!fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ minor DNI, drinking (everyone is over the age of 21), talks of sex, flirting, some swearing, pet names (sweetheart).

Word count: 1.2k

A/N: This is my first ST fic but not my first fic ever. I’m a little rusty so im sorry if this isnt good. Let me know if you want a part two to this … maybe with some smut involved??

Buy me a coffee here (no pressure!)

Send Requests here

…

“Are we going to that new bar downtown?” You ask as you apply the last of your makeup.

Saturdays were the nights that you gathered your girlfriends and went bar hopping after surviving another week of college classes.

“Mhm! I’ve heard from a few people in my classes that it’s weird… but in a good way?” Your friend shrugs “I dunno. I heard the owner is extremely hot though.”

You’d heard that too. Whispers of the hot owner who opened a bar downtown permeated all your classes. The girls were obsessed and the boys were jealous. And you were excited to see what all the hype was about.

“Maybe y/n can bat her eyelashes and finally get laid,” your other friend giggles as she bumps you with her shoulder.

“I get plenty! I am just choosing to focus on my studies. Something you all should be doing considering finals are three weeks away. Then were home free for three months.”

Finals was really causing you more stress than you liked to admit. Your grades were fine, but making the deans list was a goal you worked hard to achieve.

You take one last look in the mirror before grabbing your bag and strapping on your heels “okay. Are we ready? Everyone have their IDs and money?” Ever the mom of the group, trying to make sure everyone has everything before leaving the house. And once everyone mutters, you guys are off.

…

The thumping of the base can be heard from outside this bar. “Vecnas Vengeance” is the name of the bar. Creative but… confusing, if you were being honest.

You hand the bouncer your ID and $20 for cover before making your way inside. The atmosphere is dim but not too dark you cant see where you’re walking. The walls are black, red lights illuminating the space. The décor is dark and a little chilling, but you don’t mind. Edgy is your middle name.

“I see the owner is into horror movies. Or… something?” One of your friends says from behind you.

You grin, “I like it. It’s different. Dark, but fun. There isnt another bar like this in town.” Because it’s true. All the other bars in this college town are either dive bars, actual clubs, or places you didn’t want to frequent. But this was a place you could see yourself becoming a regular in.

You and your friends make your way to the wooden bar top, settling into the plush velvet bar stool.

“What can I get you pretty ladies to drink?” The bartender saunters over, a lazy grin on his face. The first thing you notice about him is how attractive he is. His brown hair looks so soft that all you want to do is push your fingers through it. It takes a minute for you to remember that he asked you a question.

“Oh, um can I have a lemon drop martini please?” You grin at him, lacing your fingers together and resting your chin on them. “I didn’t catch your name?”

He smiles as he pours your drink and sliding it toward you, “Steve Harrington. I own this place.” You sip your drink slowly, looking at him over the rim of your glass. Everything about him is perfect in your book and you, now, understand exactly what everyone was whispering about.

“Nice to meet you, Harrington. I’m Y/N.” You hand him your card, opening a tab; knowing its going to be a long night.

“A very pretty name for a very pretty girl.” Your friends have moved to another part of the bar, making sure to keep you in their eyesight, should anything go wrong. But you knew they didn’t have to worry.

Steves vibe was calm, almost fatherly. But you didn’t miss that he was cocky, something you liked.

“You always sweet talk your customers?”

He huffs a laugh, “only the prettiest ones. And you just so happen to be the prettiest to ever walk into this bar.”

Something else you notice about him, he’s young. He cant be more than a few years older than you. You counted that as a win in your books, deciding that if you wanted to, you might just be able to take him home.

“Mmm, a flirt.” You sip your drink again, needing something to do with your hands. “Has that always gotten you what you want in life?” Fucking with mens egos was something you did often. Took the douchebags down a peg or three. But for men like Steve Harrington, it was all in good fun.

He responded exactly as you expect, “maybe. Possibly. Why is it working on you?” He winks, offering you a little laugh.

You can feel your face and body warm and you know its not from the alcohol. He’s infectious and you know that if given the chance, he’d worm his way into you bloodstream and you know you’d never be able to get him out.

“Maybe. Possibly.”

A girl with short brown hair yells from the end of the bar, speaking a mile a minute, barely taking a breath as she says “Steve?! Hello! Instead of flirting with all the women and making them uncomfortable, I could really use some help here. Because I’m learning and I don’t know how to make a Moscow Mule so if you could help me that would be-“

He sighs before cutting her off, “Robin! Relax. The cheat sheet is right there. I’m sorry, sweetheart. Duty calls.” He playfully rolls his eyes before slowly pulling away from the bar top to help the woman called Robin.

It doesn’t take your friends long to snake their way through the crowd and taking the empty seats beside you. “Did you get his number?” One asks. “Invite him back to your bed?” Another teases.

“No and no. We were just… chatting. He’s cocky. And we all know my track record with cocky men… heartbroken and swearing off men forever.” You down your drink at that, pushing it to the other side of the bar for the barkeep to deal with later. “Besides, he flirts with everyone.”

You look down to the other end of the bar, eyes finding his already looking at you. You bite your lips slightly, imagining what would happen if you DID let him take you home. You could imagine his hands in your hair and his lips kissing all the spots you love. But you couldn’t ask him for that. There’s no way.

“Sweetheart? You okay?” Steves voice snaps you back reality, another martini sitting in front of you. You feel your face heat again, your stomach doing flips at the way he’s looking at you.

“Ah, y-yeah sorry! I spaced out.” You laugh lightly, sipping your drink again. “Finals are kicking my ass and I still have three weeks.” You laugh awkwardly.

He smirks, grabs a napkin and a pen, writing something down before sliding it towards you, “if you ever need a study partner, let me know.” He winks at you before walking away.

Your eyes slip from him down to the napkin. You smirk at the numbers written on it with a little note ‘call me’. You slip it into your purse before taking your drink and finding your friends.

[triptychofvoids]

So we know how engi and you deal with stairs but how about the others I feel soldier would do it for fun demo would fall asleep at the top and drop everything...do the other carry things calmly or do you have to scold them and such for falling?

i cant think of why the others would be carrying a bunch of things up and down the stairs. but lets see.... soldier has no problem with stairs, in fact ive caught him marching up and down staircases sometimes if he gets bored. its good exercise, though i doubt he needs it. how well demo will navigate a staircase depends entirely on how drunk he is at the moment.... i have seen him fall down stairs before but usually he manages alright. spy never has trouble with stairs, and neither does pyro. i have seen heavy walking up or down stairs while reading before and i have no idea how he manages to do that without tripping. sniper is another one that i am surprised has never tripped, since he seems to like taking them two steps at a time. im not sure if i should be insulted or amused that you seem convinced a group of nine mercenaries wouldnt be able to handle navigating a simple staircase, but i suppose thats where scout comes in.... i keep telling him dont run up the stairs, dont try to go three steps at a time, look where youre going, use the verdammten handrails for once, but he will not listen. i treat more stair related injuries because of scout in about a month than i ever have in my entire career.

[sycamorality]

ask to tag....?

dream starts out with me rescuing a tortie kitten that was being treated terribly by it's owners, and then running home to a building that has a very vague c shape in through our door and putting it down on the couch and giving it water and food.

then we run in to the family somewhere near because something is being held near the building we (mom and i) live in and the family is trying to get their kid as high as possible gliding to win a competition, and while they're doing that my mom has a conversation with them (vague "do you know how bad you treat your cats?" "no, we treat them just fine" "well if you do that then where are they" and the kids mom just shrugs).

so we make sure they don't see that we're playing with their kitten outside and put it on their car (it was red and lowkey kinda minecraft blocks with a star sticker on the back window) and for the fun of it my mom and i decide to join the competition and we win just to be petty to the family thats mistreating their cats that we saved and tell them we rescued their cats from them because of how close the kitten was to dying and they get pissed at us so we lock our doors when we get inside and they keep harassing us for a week or two until it stops - and then there's also a blue-green cat that we rescue (he had a name but i cant remember it)

then theres apparently a timeskip .. probably a few months, a year or a few. i'm not sure, either that or some reality warp so.

suddenly this building is a school and the room i'm in is pitch black, with two blocked off exits that are those spinny things in stores (DO YOU MEAN THE FUCKING FAN? /ref) and blocked off windows (with fabric and a rather thin concrete wall). the people in the room with me (and myself) are some sorts of - not even humanoid, just Something that's a shapeshifting half transparent, galaxy star stuff sort of creature.

suddenly something tears through the fabric. it's a group of three or four highschool girls - one was blonde with brown eyes, another was brown haired with blue or green eyes, the other two im not sure, but they were wearing a light brown, sort of chocolate color school uniform with white shirts.

they're laughing and having fun because they're breaking into some area they were told not to by school administration because the group i'm in is being isolated there but nobody knows about it other than the administration. so we try our best to patch up what that group of stupid fucks is doing but they keep doing it, day after day, harassing us. until one day where a guy, who's chosen the form of a chimera-y werewolf accidentally reveals his arm and they run off screaming because for them its just some weird ass wolf-shaped alien looking galaxy star stuff goop arm.

we quickly patch up what they're broken. a few weeks or a month passes and a young boy gets thrown in, in some agony and pain because one of the administrators tried to stop the 'transformation' by placing a gem in the palm of his hand where it was starting from, but it didn't help so they just threw him in so the rest of the school wouldn't see him. i'm doing my best to help him get rid of the gem and stay calm.

i explain to him what's happened ("if you choose and want to, you're gonna turn into either a partial or full shapeshifting creature made of some sort of star stuff goop thing, i think, but currently because of that gem it's halted and very painful for you") and he tells me that he does want it, he's always wanted to have the ability to change into something else other than what he is because he doesn't feel like a human.

so i encourage him to think clearly, be calm and have an image of what he wants his form to be (honestly mine was just a weirdass amalgamation of Something so what else can i say) and he turns into a werewolf-y sorta creature with pretty cool glittering fur and some galaxy goop feathered wings.

and it just abruptly ends there!

dated december 11th, 2022

[acaciapines]

If you’re still doing songs - song 69 and 138?

im always up to do em lets GO! i'll put both above the cut n then talk below :)

69. It’s Called: Freefall – Rainbow Kitten Surprise

king misses his mom. he misses his sister. he misses his aunt and his grandparents and mari trying to pin him down and luz letting him crawl under her covers and eda hugging him when he grabbed for her and firefly chirping good morning and good night and throwing out her wings to keep him safe.

“kiiiiiiiiing,” the collector whines, flipping upside-down through the air. “you’re so boring, what is your problem?”

“just tired,” king says. it’s hard to look at the collector straight-on. the thoughts that surround him are a messy array, and barely any of them are his, the way they are for anybody else: it’s a weird conglomerate of old thoughts like those that drift through the sky, but so packed together he can’t make anything out. it’s a beach of golden sand the collector runs through, leaving kicked-up grit in his awake.

“naw, c’mon,” they needle, landing right in front of him. “you’ve been tired forever. be fun!”

he misses his family so bad he’s sure it’s a wound spilling out of him. how can’t the collector see that?

“okay,” king says, “fine. let’s play.”

138. Habits – Genevieve Stokes

ask anybody: edalyn-owlbert clawthorne was never planning to have kids.

never really interested her. not the settling-down part, not the needing to keep another living creature alive part, not the having to be a good influence, gag. nah. kids were never going to be her thing, and so she never sought them out.

and then the little buggers found her.

well. she’s technically the one who stumbled across king, the owl beast’s faltering flight into that abandoned ruin he was living in, but king was the one who followed them both and refused to be left behind. plus, that stone-monster was going to kill him. eda wasn’t a fan of kids, but she didn’t want to leave them for dead, either.

looking back she’s pretty sure the owl beast was laughing at her.

laughed even harder when she took in luz. you’re an apprentice, kid, eda had told her, and the girl had squealed, and her daemon had sat there on her shoulder with her tiny chest puffed out, and something in eda knew this was going to be a permanent thing.

oh well. at least she skipped the changing diapers phase of things.

Discussion

for the first one: oh! hey! this one is relevant to for the future which im writing right NOW! ive been thinking a lot recently about how kings gonna be Doing in that entire like, 2-3 months he's basically on his own with the collector, because i'll be expanding out from what was shown in the show, and just...god. poor kid.

its terrifying! im a collector lover but even i'll admit he is Not great with king, especilly towards the start, and thats not going anywhere--king misses his family and the collector has been on his own for so LONG, and has this sense of entitlement to kings time + space. why does everyone else get a lifelong friend with them since birth? the collector wants that! and if they werent born with it they'll find a friend then! like KING!

its just a LOT. it makes for fun writing though kdnfkgdfg king doesnt hate the collector but oh boy is he not actually friends with them.

this one also makes it pretty obvious what im doing in regards to king being a titan lol but ive decided not to talk so explicitly about that unless im asked a question in which i cant speak around it. i gotta keep some of my secrets!

for the second one: MOM EDA MY BELOVED sorry i literally love that trope so much okay. its so so fun to write. eda really tripped and fell into parenthood like ah shit now ive got to be responsible for HOW MANY of these guys now? two? three? am i supposed to count mari and luz as one or two because based on the day that is a WILDLY different answer.

but yeah <3 its also made even more funny that firefly knew 100% what she was getting into. this was a massive shock to eda, but firefly's been a mom from the start!

also ooooh got that owlbert mention huh wonder what that is about...wonder what my owlbert secrets might be....if he shows up at all....hmmmm...

[httpiastri]

https://www.tumblr.com/httpiastri/750131786833608704/this-took-way-longer-than-expected-but-im

hi again!! pepe’s stream has actually been deleted bc twitch deletes streams after 7 days unless they’re some special twitch streamer (??) i think? but even then, i think those streams also only stay up for about a month or so unless the streamers themselves save it or something but i’m not too sure tbh 😓😓

i’m just grateful that we have the timestamps listed out and stuff so we don’t forget the very special moments in his stream but it is very unfortunate that we can’t just go back and rewatch the whole thing again (actually really heartbroken and upset about this☹️☹️) i have some screenshots of the moments i mentioned and then like some screen recordings of a few moments like his little dance and him cursing and then one of him making some weird sound in reaction to a moment in quali or during the F1A watch along (i forgot which 😭😭) so i’ll probably just be rewatching those over and over again and holding them close to me while i wait for the day where he decided to bless me and stream again (and i PRAY that that day comes soon because ive just started a new school and i miss the little racing filled bubble ive been living in for so long)

anyway i hope you’ve had a lovely weekend so far jackie!! if you ever stumble across one of my posts on tumblr (unlikely, but always possible, because i do sign off with the same emoji) say hi!! if your weekend hasn’t been that good so far then i do hope it gets better and that the week ahead is far more amazing and beautiful than the ones before!!

- 🪷

i had no idea twitch does that?? that's so rude 😠 that's actually such a bad feature shsjdshdj im heartbroken :(

but yes i feel you, let's be thankful that it happened instead of crying because it's gone 💔I MISSED OUT ON SCREEN RECORDING THE DANCE ??? but i have like 20 clips of cute pepe laughter so 🥰🥰 but yes i hope he understands how much we adored that stream and how much we crave another one… 🥲

(a new school? so exciting!! hope you have a lot of fun and make a lot of new friends 😚 but god yes, like my life is 50% racing (in my head) these days but i cant wait for the summer to arrive just because i miss the crazy racing bubble i was in for like three months…. pepe would definitely help out with fixing that rn 🫶)

also just gonna include your next ask here bcs it's the same theme:

you're making me so curious? omg?? now im gonna be searching through all of tumblr just to find a post with your emoji 🥺 i def will say hi if i find you !!!

also omfg. i just realized something…. i have this board on pinterest with pics of random couples & so on that remind me of my fave drivers, and each driver has their own like board in the board. all of them are named with the driver's initials, his number and two emojis, and !! guess what emoji i have for pepe???? ofc it's the freaking lotus flower 😭 idk i just wanted to share this, thanks 😚

hope you have a lovely day/night/morning/anything whenever you see this !!! and hope you have a lovely week <33

[bebx]

hi im so sorry but i need to get this off my chest and i cant talk to my friends about it because its so embarrassing and ive talked about it PLENTY

but anyway long story short i was dating someone, we have a weird history dating wise & have been best friends for 3+ years before that all started. literally three weeks ago we decided to be exclusive, on friday i found out that the day before, he kissed another girl IN PUBLIC. i know that girl, they've hooked up before (when i was also hooking up with him but it wasn't anything really and i didn't actually know for sure if they were hooking up (they were)). so we called it quits.

i still spent the weekend bc i'm weak and all i want is him. he said he never felt a connection like this with anyone, he said he loved me and he said he was sorry a hundred times..... he said it would take a long time before he'd feel 'normal' about me. we were both emotional when i left, and since then i havent really stopped crying lol

AND NOW. i dont know if im just driving myself crazy but i feel like he's (still) (again?) talking to that one girl and it would make sense because he basically cheated on me not even a week ago so why wouldnt he do this now??? but. it feels too cruel. but maybe thats just who he is.

god i hate this so much he drives me completely mad im stalking his every move and every time i see something that even slightly hints at my suspicions i get so ill and it makes me wanna kms. i just wanna feel normal i hate that he did this to me i miss him so bad. i know we literally shouldn't ever get back together again because this is just a fraction of the shit thats happened in the past 10 months, BUT I ONLY WANT HIM. and i feel like we're soulmates. BYEEEEE this is so humiliating. im so tired i just want it to end

hugging you so tight right now, anon!!! 🩷🩷🩷 so sorry you have to go through something like this. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, because each person experiences this type of pain differently, but I do know it just super sucks when the person who hurts us and the person we want to hate turns out to be the one we love the most. sometimes our hearts can be stubborn just like that (it all would’ve been so easy if we could convince ourselves to stop caring and to being able to fully hate them and moving on, but it’s never that easy, sadly). I can’t tell you what to do or how to react to the pain you feel, but know that your pain is valid and how you feel / how you react / how you cope with that pain, that’s valid too. and you are not weak for being hurt when someone wronged you, especially when it’s someone you trusted. I know this is cliche and is so much easier said than done, but please also be kind to yourself, above anything else. that boy and the girl he cheated on you with, they don’t deserve you. they lost you, not the other way around. think of this as an opportunity for you to open yourself to someone else who truly loves and values you, whether it be romantically or platonically. I know right now you just want him, but if the wrong person can make you love him this bad, imagine how much happier you’ll be when you finally find the right one who can make you love them the same way you loved him, if not more, the only difference is that they won’t break your heart. and you deserve to be happy. that someone is out there, and I truly believe you both will find each other when the time is right. but for now, try loving and being gentle to yourself even if it’s hard (I know it can be hard, but at least give it a try), the best revenge is to prove to them that you don’t need them to be happy and that you can heal from this and thrive without them in your life. doesn’t matter how long it takes, but you will get there one day, and you will look back and be so damn proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. because hey, look at you, you are still here, and for that, I am so damn proud of you!!

it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be completely broken, because the thing about crying and being broken is that it’s not permanent, even if it feels like it right now.

and by the way, the ones who should feel humiliated are him and that girl, not you. screw it if they deserve each other. YOU deserve so much better than that anyway.

[hirokiyuu]

17, 18, 19?

17. talk about your writing and editing process

that of an insane person quite frankly. a pef chapter is the worst bc it ltierally goes like:

write the chapter while alm is making edits concurrently whenever i ask to make sure it obth a) makes sense w/whats been written adn b) Sounds Good also > finish writing it and start on my own personal edits > get alm to do their own last edits > fix up things > send to stella (hi) who does edits > do more edits > send to abble for proofreading > FIX THINGS....... and between each of htese three ppl im using doing my own edits as well. i have a disease

for the writing part specifically tho its usually like. write whatevers sexiest while jumping around and then fill in the rest w/as little as i can (this is not a joke) (if its not interesting to me why would it be interesting to the reader)

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

He’d looked for her, just before he left. She’d been up on the walls for guard duty, the way she’d been every single Glow since the Helio landed, and when she saw him looking up at her she’d smiled. It’d hidden the bags under her eyes, the ones that had started to emerge after her birthday the year previous and never quite gone away, and as always the warmth of it had dizzied him. 

She’d leaned over the fence with a wave, mouth open as if to shout down, when one of the other guards -- someone from the Helio Dys hadn’t known the name of -- had said something, and she’d paused, sighed, and gave him another little wave instead before straightening back up. That night she’d sent him a message: Sorry abt earlier!!! Miss hanging out w/you but you know how glow is x___x Let’s catch up in quiet, ok? We can head out to the ridges and I can finally tell you abt the crazy thing Marz n I have been workin on for months lol

He’d stared at it a long time, his throat weird and tight. He could hear it in her voice, the lilting cadence of it, and he’d been wanting to talk to her for what felt like an eternity, but since Vertumnalia she’d been running all over the colony without a single break, looking more and more haggard every time he saw her. The only times he’d ever seen her relax had been when she’d been with her stupid boyfriend, who never flinched away when she tried to kiss him and in fact usually kissed her first, a smile on her face whenever he did.

A part of him had wanted to text her back. It would’ve been so easy, a quick little sure and then he could’ve gone back to his bunk, crawled into bed and lain there for days until the suns began to rise again, until he could walk once more by her side and listened, aching, to her laugh.

He hadn’t. Instead he’d set the bomb just like he’d promised, kneeling alone in the hiding hole the two of them had once passed their days together in. The place they’d once sat with their knees knocking, complaining about the colony and talking excitedly about aliens, the place that had once been their only escape from everyone else. The place he was going to turn to ash. The place he’d never see again.

some stuff from the dishsoap ridgefic confession id decided to axe in the end bc it didnt flow well enough but i did still like the concept wwww theres a LOT of cut stuff from this fic in general i wont lie

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

some of the shit ive been reading abt lately for the latest pef chapter has been. kinda out there. i cant actually say in words bc its technically spoielrs but part of it is solely to make sexier metaphors and part of it is goro being obnoxious on purpose

[unknownarmageddon]

thinking about killer having lv episodes. like. I imagine because of his lv, killer gets like, brief things, like migraines that are so bad, they incapacitate him for hours, or pain in his bones, like growth pains but much worse and sharper, which also leaves him handicapped for like a day at the very least

like, its horrid pain and he normally deal with it before by staying home and sleeping it off, but now he cant ride it out in comforf; now he's curling up in the backs of cars he broke into, clutching his skull and trembling so hard, his headache is only made worse by the sound of his bones rattling, and its honestly a bad condition to have in the end of the world but he somehow makes it

now imagine, killer gets used to dealing with it by just curling up somewhere and riding it out

then he winds up with cross and about a month in, he gets a pretty mild episode that lasts about two days, and he definitely flags a bit, randomly stopping to lean against a wall or tree, whatever is available, for a minute or two, then he's alright enough to move along and keep up with cross, thought he does have a bit of a limp

and then it goes past without incident, and then another two or three months go by, and they're a lot more. warm with each other, and killer gets just. he wakes up with the most horrid combination of pain in every bit of his body and there's the worst throbbing in the back of his skull and he just can't fucking move

and cross, a total sweetheart, lightly kicks killer and tells him to get up cuz they need to go, and killer just curls up in a miserable ball and whines for cross to leave him alone and it's so unlike him that cross is like.

"...are you sick?" and killer just gives a watery huff, feeling like total shit and cross finally leaves him alone and killer eventually just passes the fuck out, to cross's alarm, and he's unconcious for like. three days and violently sick for another three, then kinda ill and weak for another two days, and then bounces back and its like.

anyways im not sure where I'm going with that, im exhausted, but the idea of cross holding killer during one of his bad LV episodes and like, idk, trying to soothe him with what little healing magic he has to spare, it has me in a chokehold now

AUGHHH OHH MY GOD WAIT WAIT I love this actually wait

I definitely think this ties back into the whole thing with Killer’s soul already being a bit fucked up cause of the atmosphere and all of the after effects of the bombs and stuff

So THAT whole thing mixed in with the lv spikes like. Yeah. Yeah

And maybe at first Cross like. Doesn’t think too much about it when it happens or it even irritates him at first cause it means they can’t move as fast or killer couldn’t defend himself as easily if he needed to but later when they’re more settled Cross starts to like. Pick up on it. Like he can start telling when it’s happening or when it’s getting worse and he’s kinda learned how to deal with it and how to help and how to minimize Killer just feeling like shit to the best of his ability. And he’s learned to not push Killer to get moving again like he normally would when it’s happening, and to let him be, and he’s learned to like. Look out for him??? Or something??? Cause I’d imagine up until then he’s used to Killer kinda pullin his own weight for the most part

And Killer in turn learns to let cross help him. In a way??? Like it’s weird for both of them. Cause up until then Killer’s done it all himself. He’s rode out the spikes by himself, and now here’s Cross, trying to help or whatever and maybe killer’s stubborn about that at first??? Like shying away from it. Y’know. Like maybe he manages to make half hearted, strained jokes about it. Or something. But he realizes having Cross there’s much better than just suffering in the back of some scrappy car for days and then it’s not so bad

And It maybe like. Scares cross almost?? Like initially. Cause he sees Killer just be so drastically different than he’s used to it’s like. Fuck man is this guy just gonna drop dead any second

ANYWAY IDK what I’m on about that was a lot of just rambling on my part I feel but absolutely so real you’re so right so real

[queen-rainy-love]

I sadly deleted CRK cause storage issues and Im sorta sad about it (it was months ago during the BTS concert thing 😭).

is it okay if you could do a little oneshot that Clotted Cream got access to a BTS concert and VIP tickets to meet the BTS Cookies offstage in person. He brings his family—not Custard— and Financier, Crunchy, and Wildberry. His mom is there as well. Clotted Cream and Finanicier are ARMYs you cant change my mind—

Que the concert playing BTS Songs like, Save Me, Spring Day, Your Eyes Tell, and Louder Than Bombs. (DjajfksifisifksjfskkdabajJsjsj)

After the concert, everyone goes backstage and RM greets them and Clotted Cream is awed and secretly fanboys. BTS and the other Cookies talk to each other. Suga and Wildberry are just standing together, Clotted Cream sees them and immediately grabs Wildberry and gushes about Suga (his bias). WB smiles and jokingly says that Clotted Cream has a type. Suga also teases him a bit.

Soon they all leave and everyone has a good time. But then Clotted and Crunchy realized that they left Finanicier. Dont ask lmao.

We go back and See Finanicier getting an autograph from J-Hope.

(sorry for this longish thigy im just stressed cause of school and i love your work)

First, I will humbly honor this request to help lower your stress levels. Second, I'm sorry for the loss of this game on your phone. Third, I like that headcanon idea of yours. It's very cute! <3

Let's go!

*The scene is set during the BTS concert in the Cookie Kingdom. Clotted Cream, Custard III, Light Cream, Financier, Madeleine, Cream Puff, Crunchy Chip, and Wildberry were enjoying the show, singing along to all the songs. Wildberry couldn't help but smile whenever he sees Clotted Cream singing along and jumping to the song.*

*It wasn't long until the concert was over.*

Madeleine: What a wonderful show! The best this year!

Cream Puff: I'm sure it's the best show ever! Nothing can top this!

Custard III: Yeah! Nothing can!

*Clotted Cream and Financier looked at each other, smiling before the consul pulled out a few backstage tickets.*

Clotted Cream: I think there is a way.

Custard III: Oh my Godly! Amazing!

Crunchy Chip: Woah! No way! How did you get those?! They sold out in three minutes!

Clotted Cream: ...Did you...forget...that I'm the Consul of the Crème Republic?

Crunchy Chip: ...

Financier: Did you forget about that fact?

Crunchy Chip: No!...Maybe!

Madeleine: Never mind that! Let's go!

*Everyone took a backstage ticket before heading back there. As they walked over there, Light Cream asked her son a quick question.*

Light Cream: Sweetie. How did you get the money for this?

Clotted Cream:...*looks away thoughtfully*

*Meanwhile...*

Custard: What's this twenty thousand coin charge for?!

*Back to the main scene...*

Clotted Cream: *slightly panics* Don't worry about it. Oh, look! We're here! Haha! Let's go!

*The group finally reached the green room, where BTS was just finishing up with another group. The first member to notice the group was RM.*

RM: *smiles* Hey there! Welcome to our backstage meet-and-greet!!

Clotted Cream:*internally fanboying but keeps a calm smile* It is an honor to meet all of you.

*The BTS members started talking with the group: RM with Madeleine, Jung Kook and Jin with Cream Puff and Custard III, V with Crunchy Chip, J-hope with Financier, Jimin with Light Cream and Clotted Cream, and SUGA with Wildberry. Clotted Cream noticed Wildberry and SUGA talking, well, more like jump staring at each other. He excused himself from Jimin and his mother. He walked over to SUGA and Wildberry, taking a nervous breath. Wildberry noticed him first.*

Wildberry: *pulls Clotted Cream into a side hug* Hello love. I believe you know SUGA.

Clotted Cream: Haha. Yes. *blushes in embarrassment* I...I'm a big fan. I love the songs you've written and I love how you keep your cool under intense situations.

*SUGA and Wildberry looked at each other before smiling.*

Wildberry: *looks at Clotted Cream with a smile* It's good to know what your type is.

Clotted Cream: Huh?

SUGA: Strong. Silent. Calm. I'm sure I would have a good chance of dating you.

Clotted Cream: *flustered* I...um...I...Haha! I...

SUGA: *laughs* Just kidding. But I do appreicate you loving my contribution to the band. Thank you so much. *bows*

Clotted Cream: Oh! Of course! *bows*

*After a few minutes, the group waved BTS goodbye and left the green room. As they walked away, Crunchy Chip turned toward Clotted Cream.*

Crunchy Chip: What was going on with SUGA Cookie? I could hear a stuttering train coming from you.

Clotted Cream: Um...*starts blushing* Just got slightly excited for the meeting.

Crunchy Chip: Ha! Maybe next time, I should talk with him. He's a lot like Wildberry in some ways.

Clotted Cream: *blushes more* Yeah...a lot like him. *slightly looks behind him and notices something.* Huh?

Crunchy Chip: What's up?

Clotted Cream: Where's Financier?

*The scene goes back to Financier and J-hope still talking. J-hope was signing an autograph book.*

Financier: Thank you for doing this last minute task. I'm sorry for taking up your time.

J-hope: *smiles* Don't worry about it! I'm more than happy to do this! I also hope you'll be able to connect with your friend again.

Financier: *shyly smiles* Thank you.