#and im so anxious that i wont end up raising enough or will end up idk messing it up somehow

[tittysuckersworld]

wittle vent pwease ignore dksbfjsnd

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Hank McCoy’s sibling

Hank McCoy x sibling!reader

warnings:

a/n: i started writing this fic months ago and when i was halfway done mobile glitched and deleted the whole draft so i gave up out of rage anyways. i dont think i liked how it turned out but idk!

prompt: anonymous: “Hellooo !! First of all i have to say that i love your fics !! Second of all , i wanted to request a headcanon , with being hank mccoy’s little sister?? I was thinking that she is a mutant and she has powers like Wanda. It would be really cool to see is with the other x men. Also her age to be around 14 when the first movie sets place ?( Sorry if i didn’t explain it well)”

being a mutant who had just discovered their powers was hard

what was even harder was that your brother hank had to take you in when it happened

hank understood what it felt like to be different, and luckily he had a good enough job to support you

“just sit here and do your homework. quietly” -hank, seating you in his office at work

“what makes you think i wont be quiet?” -you

“you blew up the toaster this morning” -hank

“it burnt my toast” -you

“listen, okay? no one can no we are what we are. just be calm. if you need help on your homework, let me know” -hank

you spent a lot of time at hank’s work, which led to you two immediately being exposed by charles xavier when he waltzed into your lives

“oh, dear, you’ve just experienced your mutation recently. you’re a powerful one, but you can’t control it well. we can help with that” -charles

he quickly realized it was a mistake to comment on yours and your brother’s…issues

“no! no, y/n, it’s too dangerous. you’re in middle school, you have homework. im not letting him turn you into a soldier” -hank

if you couldn’t tell by now, hank was a bit anxious about raising you

after all, your powers weren’t much alike, he didn’t know how to navigate this

“i need to learn how to control them, or else im gonna hurt someone” -you

you didn’t understand what it felt like to look different, but he didn’t understand what it felt like to fear yourself

“who’s the kid?” -alex

“that’s my sibling, y/n” -hank

“what’s your power?” -alex

“it’s kind of…uncontrollable. i can’t show you” -you

“i know how that feels” -alex

“you do?!” -you

when alex finally revealed his power, it made you excited to show your energy blasts

you managed to keep them mostly contained and alex gave you a huge high five

“stay away from him, y/n. he’s not a good influence” -hank

“but we have similar powers. im not alone!” -you

“doesn’t mean you need to be friends” -hank

the rest of the gang was super sweet to you, but you had to remind them you were young, not little

“you’re probably the strongest out of all of us, kiddo” -raven

sean liked to pretend like you were super scary and cower whenever you looked at him

“no please dont hurt me!!!” -sean, convincingly but sarcastically

you became everyone’s little sibling

“admit it, we’ve never been closer” -you

“yeah, you’re right” -hank

“and we aren’t so lonely” -you

“that’s also true” -hank

“so why are you acting so protective and jealous” -you

“im just used to it being us two” -hank

“yeah but now we aren’t struggling, we have all this space to move around and time to focus on important things. i can finally use my powers without getting scared!” -you

“are you still keeping up with your schoolwork?” -hank

“stop worrying so much, hank” -you

regardless of his protests, you still geared up to fight and it infuriated him

what infuriated you was that he was blue

“what. the hell. did you do?” -you

“im the adult here, why are you in that suit. y/n’s not going on this mission. and watch your language!” -hank

you nearly gave him a heart attack, but by the end of the fight he was proud of you. truly.

for a short time, the remainer of the team stayed together

alex and you trained together often

“hey! only i can bully hank” -you

“oh, you’re making rules now?” -alex

“i am the boss around here” -you

charles admired how far you’d come

and hank was honestly grateful he wasn’t raising you alone

you continued your schooling and just as you graduated, charles offered you a job teaching at the school for gifted youngsters

but it shortly closed after that, leaving you without much of a purpose

“hank, i think i need to go off on my own” -you

“it’s too dangerous, y/n. you’re much better off here” -hank

“you mean with you and charles? two of the most self-hating mutants i know? charles is injecting himself with medication to stop his powers. medication YOU made. how long until you make one for me so im not so ‘dangerous’ anymore” -you

“what could you possibly do out there?” -hank

“i already got a job as a teacher, hank. i’m off to go live my life. call me if you need me” -you

he did call you later, rambling about a mutant from the future preventing a war or something. just that you needed to come back

“y/n, good to see you” -logan

“do i know you?” -you

“apparently he knows all of us” -charles

“thats not weird” -you, sarcastically

it’d been a while since you’d seen any action, so it was a little refreshing doing something like breaking into the pentagon

“after this, maybe we could go out sometime” -peter

“get away from them!” -hank

“i got this hank—kid, i’m too old for you” -you

“you’re barely five years older than me” -peter

“you’re seventeen. go away.” -you

you and hank laughed about it later

really, it was weird seeing erik and raven again. even charles with his shit together. it was like old times

you just wished it could stick

you left before any more damage could be done to your personal life and gave hank a big hug

“be safe. don’t do anything stupid” -you

“hey, thats what i was gonna say” -hank

you went back to your life and soon got a call from charles

a job offer, the school was opening again

“come home, y/n. hank misses you” -charles

it took some convincing, but you came back

and maybe this time things would be different

you got your classes and were ready to start teaching a new generation of mutants the way you wished you were taught

(sorry i cut this short i ran out of ideas 😭)

taglist: @locke-writes // @randomawesomeperson102 // @captainshazamerica // @dindjarinsspouse // @summersimmerus // @simp-legend // @nekoannie-chan // @groovy-lady // @deanzboyfriend // @mr-mxyzptlk-1940 //

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 2

a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)

also warning! angst!

anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!

the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS

soooooo

this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance

anyways

i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you

so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it

so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked

the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened

he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident 

but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up

so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that

they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment

you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you

a first year girl theyve just met

it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess

then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it

‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’

after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises 

you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that

during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face

‘y/n, what happened!’

‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’

your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie

‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’

‘haha’

you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around

‘y/n? is the food not good?’

your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile

‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’

you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded

the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be

as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body

you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?

the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade

so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold

kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face

‘y/n! what-!’

he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down

‘what happened to you?!’

he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile

‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’

kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant

and he noticed the way you said that sentence

it was like a robot

like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script

but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen

the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid

kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing

‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’

you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento

‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’

okay what

they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone

this had to be the longest school day of your life

the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds

finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly

‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’ 

you cringed but nodded

‘im okay, oikawa-san’

‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’

‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’

*cue everyone busting a lung*

‘y/n, what’s the-’

‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’

eventually, everything was fine

you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease

but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks

he was silent, just staring at them

ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily

oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them

���o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’

‘y/n’

his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces

‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’

his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone

you shivered and sighed

‘senpai, please dont-’

‘who is it?’

the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice

‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’

‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’

the gym turned silent

you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows

‘hickey? what-’

‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’

lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes

‘i-i,,,,’

you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity

you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding 

its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other

so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face

‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’

HELLO WHAT

the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE

how dare someone take their manager!

she was theirs!

and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you

is this really turning into a harem

oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted

every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve

they just cant see their baby manager like that

you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them

‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’

they flinched and saluted at you

lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her

but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it

this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay

however,,,

several days later,,,

this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst

you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back

it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you

it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her

then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office

if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs

great

you were stuck

you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest

‘what is it you want from me, again?’

she smirked

‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’

is she serious?

this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl

you gave her an incredulous look and frowned

‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’

but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall

but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty

surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance

‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’

miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her

then she remembered what you told her

‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’

she was right

even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong

you were stumped

you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition

your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record

but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade

‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’

you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back

lmao flashbacks to the other part

she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground

oh no you were done w this

you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground

some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles

but they were really testing you

the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt

hit her right between her legs

you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you

‘oh my god leave me alone!’

you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms 

obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can

‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’

miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob

sorry rebecca

however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position

gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight

they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her

ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her

but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick

great, another bathroom scene

your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks

you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would

this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for

���IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’

your scream echoed throughout the entire are

possibly could be heard in new york

and your voice became hoarse

ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing

‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’

‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’

I GOT CHILLS

the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground

miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy

kyotani kentarou

‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’

he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow

‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’

ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!

you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention

again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals

you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this

‘oi, y-you okay?’

you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying

his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up

normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him

he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office

he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends

you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away

‘n-no, don’t leave-’

but he grunted softly before holding your wrist

‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’

lowkey getting bakugou vibes

you nodded and went to close your eyes again

kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries 

babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes

and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms

it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds

but he let his curiosity take over him

‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’

he grunted and you scoffed with a smile

‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’

‘cant you fight them back?’

you glared at him

‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’

he sighed

‘maybe you just werent strong enough’

okay listen here you lil shit

you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes

but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions

‘the first time we met. was it her too?’

you flinched in surprise

‘you remembered that?’

‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’

‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’

‘kyotani,,, kentarou’

you smiled

‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’

‘i know’

he mumbled but you didnt catch it

‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’

he hummed

he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you

kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-

once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered

he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down

‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’

you paused then sighed

‘i dont know. ill figure something out’

but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on

after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’

‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’

you just stared at this guy

‘how-’

‘just a guess’

he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension

and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist

‘so what do i do, then?’

‘tell them-’

‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’

‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’

the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash

‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’

kyo was disgusted

all this for that stupid idiot captain?

‘youre dumber than i thought’

you weakly hit him at the arm

‘so mean, kyo-san’

‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’

you glared and linked your fingers together

‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’

‘just tell them, kid. less problems’

then he stood up to leave

‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’

but you were panicking

someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team

and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player

you were so surprised that you stopped breathing

‘kyo-san,,,’ 

you muttered and he glared at you

well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly

‘yo’

oikawa was surprised at this interaction

‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’

you nodded, still looking at the blonde

‘i-uh’

‘its none of your business’

kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief

maybe your secret would be safe

you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut

your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape

ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem

but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him

you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you

this created a soft of protectiveness around you

sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you

and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off

aww hes so cute

ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell 

until that one day

it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it

iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise

‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’

oikawa? late?

that was unheard of

you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm

miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair

you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively

‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’

oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl

‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’

at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name

you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him

‘don’t, kyo-san’

‘the bitch-’

‘i know. but please, dont’

you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder

aggressively cares for you

‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’

oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him

you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked

‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’

the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension

kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes

‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’

tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl

‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’

you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it

‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’

but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince

oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl

‘oi! kyotani!’

he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating

iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa

‘kyo-san, calm-’

‘you! be quiet’

he shouted, finger pointing at you

‘and you!’

before pointing to oikawa

‘you are a shitty captain’

‘kyotani!’

iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now

mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED

oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked

‘we’ll talk about this later’

‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’

iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door

she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani

‘kyotani, what the hell was that’

oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle

then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes

‘either you tell him or i will’

can we just talk about how protective kyo is?

you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest

‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’

‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’

‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’

oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up

‘y/n-chan, what is going on’

‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’

coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look

to say the least, miyo was pissed

and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does

she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you

girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!

and thats exactly what she did

only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes

‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’

the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you

they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released

as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side

‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’

you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare

‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’

‘i said-’

but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you

her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip

‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’

‘SHUT UP!’

kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you

his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight

‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’

the boy shrugged from the side 

‘i dont know. shes late though’

oh god

‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’

kunimi paused to remember before answering

‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’

that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere

‘SHIT!’

he shouted before bolting out the door

ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him

‘kyotani!’

‘kyoken-chan?!’

they followed him, who was running as fast as he can

the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building

it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him

‘YOU-!’

he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you

blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form

‘kyo-!’

‘kyotani!’

your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry

the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught

kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you

oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words

all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry

now multiply that by the entire team

‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’

mattsun seethed

‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’

the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist

‘how long’

miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist

‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’

iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last

‘s-s-since l-last month’

you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt

‘please dont’

‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’

oikawa coldly reprimanded

‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’

‘got it, boss’

if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you

your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office

rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls

the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises

‘i told you so’

he mumbled and you scoffed

‘howd you find me anyways?’

‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’

he answered

no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word

eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years

‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’

oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed

you looked down and fiddled with your fingers

‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’

iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath

‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’

you nodded but your tears fell

‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’

‘stop apologizing, y/n’

‘sorry’

‘y/n!’

you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt

‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’

‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’

watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug

‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’

oikawa babie you are so mature like what-

what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own

‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’

‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’

‘iwa-san?’

‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’

silence

‘WHAT?!’

‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’

‘WHAT?!’

‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’

‘WHAT?!’

a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general

[nia-journals]

Blind Date | YOONMIN Short Story

——————

park jimin sat in the cushioned chair, blind folded, wearing his casual best, in hopes of impressing whichever stranger his partner turned out to be. you see, his best friend jeon jungkook, had dragged him to one of those blind date events taking place in their city and now jimin sat like a complete idiot and for what? why was he trying so hard? he told himself he couldnt care less about this outing so why did he even bother wearing his best jeans?

jimin sighed and as the countdown on the intercom reached 0 he could hear footsteps approaching. this made jimin a bit anxious. his eyes were bound, he didnt know where in the room his friend jungkook sat and in less a second he would meet a complete stranger he’d spend the rest of this forsaken date with. jimin’s fight or flight instict ticked as he felt someone walk dangerously close to his chair. why the fuck did he agree to this? jimin thought, it was safe to say that whoever came up with a blind dinner date pop-up event was a complete idiot. he now sat in high alert waiting to defend himself despite the circumstances and the obvious fact that he couldnt see anything at all.

so he sat and waited; jimin was beginning to think he’d been stood up even in this stupid blind date. that is, until he heard;

“hello?” a stranger with a deep voice approached him, “im min yoongi,” his voice was eargasmic, it made the little hairs on jimin’s arms stand up and sent chills down his back.

“park jimin,” jimin introduced himself in a shy and unsually low tone. jimin wasnt usually shy but this man’s voice alone made him feel small, intimidated and dominated even.

“should we get right to it?” the stranger’s disembodied yet gravelly voice suggested, “i cant really ask you what you like to eat cause that’s against the rules so, ima take a hunched here and hope you enjoy it. is that ok jimin?”

jimin nodded like an idiot, in a trance. unlike five seconds ago now jimin mentally thanked whoever’s stupid idea was to wear blindfolds cause if not yoongi would be completely exposed to his dialated pupils which signaled his lovey dovey eyes.

“ok, i placed the order. when it comes out please be completely honest with me,” yoongi said, after quietly thanking who i assumed was the server, “i promise i wont cry too hard.”

yoongi’s chuckle.

wow.

that was the most beautiful sound jimin���s ears have ever had the pleasure of hearing. the captivating sound was light and addictive, jimin wanted yoongi to chuckle all throught the night.

“don’t worry yoongi,” jimin let out instinctively. it didn’t matter how nasty what yoongi picked out for him was, he would lie, cheat, fibble, he would do anything to get a shot at a second date with this stranger with the honey dipped voice, “i wont go too hard on you.”

“no, please do but maybe lie about it to the host and we can always try again on our second date.”

jimin smiled, maybe a little too widely and he had to quickly remind himself that yoongi could still in fact see the idiotic smile plastered on his face, “already in for a second date? are you that whipped already?”

“i mean, look at you, park jimin. youre a whole vision in itself. i could sit here all night and talk about how perfect you look.”

“you havent even seen half of my face yet min yoongi,” jimin scoffed in a joking manner.

“fair enough park jimin,” he spoke in a tone of newfound confidence and determination, his voice dropped about two octaves and jimin again froze at how deep and addicting it was to listen to min yoongi’s voice, “let’s get to know eachother before our meal comes to us.”

“fine,” jimin said clearing his throat, “that sounds fine by me.”

“are you from this area jimin?” yoongi asked in his husky tone. fuck this man’s voice would surely be jimin’s demise. he couldnt wait to take his blindfold off to reveal the face of the stranger whose voice had jimin wrapped around his finger.

“no, im actually from busan. i moved out to seoul with some of my friends for school.” jimin said.

“you all go to the same university?” he questioned.

“yeah we do. we all applied together and got in together so we just moved in together and attend the same school,” jimin shrugged. he was infact lucky to have friends who shared similar interests and life aspirations. lucky enough that after high school graduation while everyone waved goodbye to their bestfriends, jimin, taehyung and jungkook were packing together ready to take on the next four years of college right by eachother’s side.

“youre very lucky,” yoongi confessed, “not many people get to attend the same school as their bffs after high school. usually people grow apart.”

“yeah im glad i have them here with me. i’d be a lone wolf in seoul if it wasnt for them.” jimin said. “one of my bestfriends, jungkook, was actually the one who dragged me here?”

“wait are you an introvert park jimin?” yoongi questioned. jimin couldn’t see much of yoongi but he could feel the subtle movements the stranger made in his chair at the other end of the table.

“im as introverted as they come. it took a whole lot of will power, a lot of convincing by my friend jungkook and a million pep-talks from our dorm room to here to get me to calm down a bit,” jimin confessed.

“are you nervous right now jimin?” he let out in a soft yet deep under-tone. his whispering made him sound like an asmrist and jimin wasn’t sure he could handle listening to him talk im such a low tone any longer.

“well i was nervous yoongi, but-“ he began, “your voice.”

“what about my voice?” yoongi asked and jimin could almost hear the cockiness in his voice.

“it’s soothing yoongi, it’s really calming my nerves,” jimin was completely transparent with the man. well of course jimin hid the fact that aside from calming him down a bit, yoongi’s voice also aroused him. that detail he could definitely keep to himself, “in that case i’ll keep talking,” he was definitely now going to begin using his sweet and deep voice against jimin for the rest of the night, “what do you study in school, jimin?”

“dance,” jimin let out, “contemptorary dance to be exact.”

“have you danced for long?” yoongi questioned.

“since i was 9 years old.”

“so youre a professional?”

“i wouldn’t say so, i have a long way to go to be considered professional.” jimin answered modestly.

“i bet your the best in your whole university,” yoongi complimented him in such a casual tone.

“well thank you,” jimin said shyly, yoongi surely knew all the right things to say, “but im not even the best in the whole junior class,”

“i find that hard to believe. on our second date how about you show me your moves?” the butterflies in jimin’s stomach were out of control at yoongi’s blatant proposition.

but at that moment jimin promised himself that he would go dancing with yoongi on their second date.

“let’s take it one second at a time yoongi, i dont even know if i like the food you picked out for me yet,” jimin teased him, “what if it was a complete miss?”

“it won’t be, my gut never lies to me.” yoongi was definitely cocky but jimin thought that was part of his charm. jimin definitely liked it.

jimin laughed, god he wished he could see yoongi’s face right about now, “what about you yoongi? are you in school? are you from seoul?”

“ah, no-“ yoongi started, “im not from seoul, i was born and raised in daegu. i actually, like you, moved to seoul for school and studied music production. i graduated a few months ago. now i work with my friend who’s an upcoming rapper.”

“congratulations on graduating,” jimin offered and yoongi thanked him in return.

“whats his name?” jimin questioned, honestly wanting to know if he’s heard of his friends work at anytime, “your rapper friend. maybe ive heard the music you guys have made together before,”

“his names rm,” yoongi let out non-chalant but jimin almost chocked on his water.

“you’re friends with rm?” jimin let out in an overly excited tone, “my best friend jungkook loves rm.”

“i could get you two tickets to his next underground show if you’d like?” he asked, his offer sounded sincere.

“i couldn’t-“ jimin let up, “we just met yoongi. i wouldnt want you to have the wrong idea of me.”

“i could never park jimin,” there he goes saying jimin’s name again, it sounded so fucking perfect coming from him and jimin could honestly sit and hear yoongi say his name over and over and over until the sun comes up, “how about this, if you like the food i picked for you, i’ll take you and your friend jungkook to the next rm concert.”

“how about we leave the concert for a third date, i want you all to myself on the dance floor for our second date,” jimin said feeling fearless, teasing him a bit in the process, “well if i like the food you picked out for me, that is.”

“thats a deal park jimin, good thing we’re about to find out.” yoongi said, and less the a second later jimin could smell the delicious food being placed in front of him.

“do you want me to help you with that?” yoongi asked as he noticed jimin struggling a bit to find his fork.

“if you could please,” jimin was about to be fed by a stranger with the most mesmerizing voice. to say his heart was going to beat right out of his chest was no exaggeration.

a couple seconds later, yoongi let out an “open up,” and jimin was met with his favorite kind of pasta, shrimp scampi. jimin was glad yoongi picked out a meal he liked because this meant they had a chance at a second date and jimin couldnt wait.

immidiately jimin clicked the right button under his side of the table signaling he’s liked the dinner picked out by blind date partner. jimin quickly took off his blind fold and after his eyes adjusted to the bright lights in the room he was met with the most beautiful man he’s ever laid eyes on. his tanned skin was honey-like and there was a perfect contrast between his brown sugar skin and his plain white t-shirt. his wide gummy smile made his eyes turned to small crescent moons and at that moment jimin couldnt believe that such a perfect voice belonged to such a perfect human being.

“are you ready to put your dancing shoes on for our second date?” jimin asked as yoongi’s gummy smile grew in size.

———————

this story has very much been alive and well on ao3 give it love there!

thanks for reading <3

[brushes-of-sage]

Alchemy. It was the only thing that was uniting the princes of Arendelle. While a door had separated the two brothers for the past five years, Hugo found a way to still stay connected to his brother. It all started three years ago, when Hugo realized he was running out of things to do. Oh sure, there were plenty of things in the castle, but that number reduces *significantly* when you realize there’s no one to do these things with you. So, Hugo decided to take up alchemy again. (1/?)

Alright lemme try to see if the keep reading works:

He had stopped working with alchemy when Varian had disappeared behind that cursed door, since alchemy was just another painful reminder of the brother he felt he lost. It was one of the brothers' favorite things to do, along with… along with... well, Hugo couldn’t really remember. The more he tried thinking about things he did with his brother that wasn’t alchemy, he got nothing, just laughter and a small headache. But, the number of things to occupy his time were getting thin.

So, he decided to give alchemy a try. This turned out to be a great decision. Not only did it serve as a distraction, but it served as something to keep his mind going. This distraction worked well for a few weeks until he hit a roadblock. He was trying to perfect an alchemical ice bomb that he had started when he was younger, but could never finish. But nothing seemed to be working. After staring at his disaster of a note pile for the better part of an hour, a little voice in his head said,

“You could go to Varian for help”

“No,” he snapped back, “If Varian wanted to help me or be there for me, he would leave his room. Clearly he doesn’t want to talk to me, or anyone for that matter.” Hugo didn’t want to admit it, but he was starting to get a bit mad at Varian. They were the best of brothers for years, and then just one day, Varian just shuts himself in his room, without a single word as to why. He laid his head on his desk and sighed. “Ah, who am I kidding? I’m going crazy just sitting here, I need to talk to someone, even if its nothing more than alchemy notes.”He gets up, grabs his notes, and starts to make his way to a door he passed by and stared at a million times before. On the way though, his mind is going through a back and forth battle: He wont wanna talk to you! Yes, he does, we havent spoken in forever! I wonder why? Besides its just some alchemy help, I’m not asking anything too extreme! All he has to do is fix a couple equations! What if he tears it up and ignores it, just like he has you these past few years? After this comment, Hugo ended up backtracking back to his room. He’d go tomorrow. Right?

Wrong. It took him three weeks before he found himself staring at the door that plagued his existence for two years now. He raised his hand to knock, and before he could back out, knocked twice and slid the notes through the crack under the door. He started anxiously pacing, his mind going back to the constant battle in his mind that had been raging for the past 3 weeks. After a couple minutes of pacing, Hugo was just about to leave when he heard 2 knocks, and paper slide back under the crack. Instantly, the flurry of anxious thoughts started up again, worrying it would come back blank or with a note saying Varian wouldn't help him. His hands shook as he opened the notes to reveal.. the completed solution. He read the solution 2 3 4 times before a huge smile spread across his face and he laughed a huge genuine laugh he hadn’t used in two years. These notes meant 2 big things: One, he finally had a solution to an alchemy problem he’d had since he was nine. And two, the more important one in Hugo’s opinion, is that his brother doesn’t hate him. That scary thought had crossed his mind multiple times and he had always quickly shot it down, but there was always that one tiny voice who would always say, “But, does he though?” Now, that voice was as good as dead. Varian didn’t hate him. He wasn’t giving him the *total* silent treatment. Maybe he could work up from here, have conversations through the door, send notes, maybe even ask why he was doing any of this in the first place.Just as he’s about to leave for his lab to finish the ice bombs with the now completed formula, Hugo heard two knocks on the door and stopped. He wasn’t expecting anything else. He looked at the bottom of the door and saw a small stack of papers slide under and he picked them up. It was a stack of alchemy notes titled “Melting Bomb” The notes were full of blank spaces and question marks and there was a note attached that said:

Hugo-Please assist me in completing this formula for a melting alchemy bomb. I have been on and off of this project for the past few years, and some assistance would be much appreciated. Thank you.-Varian

As excited as Hugo was that his brother was reaching out to him, and actively looking for his help, he couldn’t help but feel a bit…disappointed at the formality of the note. As if Hugo were some stranger that Varian had just met and had to put up formalities and not his own brother. Nevertheless, he shouts a quick “Be right back!” and dashes off to his room to grab a quill and inkwell. While he runs, he reads over the notes and finds the answer fairly quickly. It wasn’t all that hard, it just was in desperate need of a fresh set of eyes. He scribbled down the answers as quick as possible, not wanting to keep Varian waiting. He runs back to Varians room, knocks 2 times and slips the notes under the door. After a couple of minutes, he hears a soft gasp, the quick scratching of a quill, and a new note being shoved under the door. Hugo picked up the note and stared at the messy handwriting and smiled. This was the big brother he remembered. Thanks for the help! Now go work on your project! This went on for the next few months with notes. Sometimes it wasn't just alchemy they talked about. It started simple, like “How’s your day going” and things like that.

Then it slowly evolved to things like “Get some rest Haristripe” and “You haven’t eaten yet today have you, Hugo?” (Both weren’t exactly the best at self care, especially when they were caught up in their work). The day Hugo finally heard Varian talk was one of the best days of his life. Obviously, he had heard his brother talk before, but it had been years since they had spoken, and as the time passed, Hugo’s memories of Varian’s voice faded. Plus, with the time passing, he knew his voice would have changed. So, when Varian finally said a soft “Thank you”, Hugo’s face lit up with a huge smile. He didn’t talk much, but when he did, Hugo treasured every word he said, committing them to memory. For a while, things were going great. Until one fateful day, when Hugo pushed his luck just a *bit* more than he probably should have. The day started out normal enough, Hugo worked on some experiments he didn’t finish last night, ate some lunch, and then after lunch he grabbed his notes that needed Varian’s help, and started making his way to his room. However, on the way, he realized that as happy as he was to be able to talk to Varian, it didn’t feel *right*. A relationship based solely on notes slipped under a door and minimal verbal talking felt like a false one. What Hugo wanted to know more than anything, was *why*. Why had Varian shut him and the rest of the world out? If it was so necessary, why hadn’t he at least attempted some form of contact? This one word question had plagued Hugo’s mind ever since the door had closed, and he had never really had the confidence to ask it: until now.

So, he went back to his room and wrote out a letter. It was simple, a little more formal than usual, but to the point. It read: Varian- We’ve been talking with each other for a while now, and I feel we are at a point where I can ask this question: Why? Why have you locked yourself in your room and away from the rest of the world? Was it something I did? You can answer as vaguely or specifically as you like, I just would really like some answers. Thanks, Hugo

His hands shook as he folded the letter and slid it under the door. He knew to give Varian a little extra time, this wasn’t just a simple math problem. So Hugo waited. And waited. And waited, until it was dinner time and his stomach forced him to get some food. The whole time, his mind was at war with itself once again: See? You just had to push your luck, didn’t you? He’s giving you the cold shoulder ‘cause you couldn’t leave well enough well enough. No! He’s not giving me the cold shoulder, he’s just taking his time to formulate a response. It’s probably a really long story. Keep telling yourself that. I will! ‘Cause it’s true! If the positive side of Hugo was right, Varian sure was taking his sweet old time, because it was 3 weeks before anything happened. Three weeks of absolute silence from the older prince. The only reason things changed was because Hugo took the brave first step of sliding alchemy notes through the door. Five minutes later, it came back with notes and edits. There were no additional quips, remarks, or any explanations like he had requested three weeks earlier, but this was better than silence. They soon fell back into the routine they had before: notes, minimal verbal communication, and various quips. It felt good to get back to that routine, but a small part of Hugo still ached for answers that he feared would never come. But he never acted on this, fearing that Varian would once again give him the cold shoulder, and this time would ignore him for good.(20/20)

((And there it is! The final part! I hope u enjoyed reading it, this is the first time ive really written something i didnt hate *and* am sharing this with someone. Thank you for taking the time to read this, this means more than u know. Thank you also for letting me take over ur inbox😅Next up im doing this story but w/ varians pov, which ive already started. Thx again! -💙

Ahhhhhh, first off, sorry for getting to this later than I usually do!! These past few weeks have been hectic and I’ve been needing to take a step back and focus more on school and classes and stuff, but I finally got to reading this and OMIGOSH I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!

(Hope you don’t mind if I just added in some italics and kinda changed the formatting to make it easier to read - didn’t take anything off or anything, but the way tumblr formats asks is a bit weird lol, hope that doesn’t offend you! - also number 7 somehow went missing? 😅)

But OMIGOSH YO - just my heart akfjajdjaj 🥺 The two of them building their relationship slowly through passing letters underneath the door? Oh my heart, and the way you can just feel them getting closer and happier because of it?

But then Hugo asking Varian the why - why did he shut him out, why was he behind the door, why can’t they see each other - and then Varian just suddenly going back to that stiff and formal demeanor after that akfjakfjja I cry ahhhhhhh-

“But he never acted on this, fearing that Varian would once again give him the cold shoulder, and this time would ignore him for good.” - JUST RIP MY HEART OUT BLUE NONNIE AHDKGKAKJD

I absolutely loved seeing Hugo’s hesitance then excitement and eagerness to get closer to his brother whom he barely even knows besides a few memories (and ha, I see the headache there 👀) and only to see that he went too far and the fragile bond they’d forged again had melted and akfjakfjaj the FEELS-

Thank you for sharing and for letting me read your writing! I’m excited to see what you’ve got next for Varian’s POV!!! 😱

[djhedy]

What inspired you to write your tinder series :o

WELL HI THANKS FOR ASKING

strap in things are about to get real personal

i have never dated really. when i was a teenager i met someone and we were together for a very long time (i sound like a parent telling her kid a sad story lmao), and we broke up a year and a half ago. basically as much like a divorce as you can get. THUSLY obviously i mean depression blah blah blah BUT ALSO i suddenly had no idea how to go about the dating thing? so i installed tinder. i dated someone nice for a few weeks but she wasn’t right for me and i ended things and never met up with anyone again (and still havent! dating? WHOMST?)

i basically decided tinder is bullshit for someone who is borderline demisexual

i am attracted to personalities, not looks

so, if someone’s *look* communicates something about their *personality* i am *into it*

i was at a gig once and there was a girl at the bar wearing a sweater with bunnies on it, and i was like i am into that

and my straight friend was like ...really??

because i find expression of personality hot

i think it’s why gender fuckery is hot - like a cis guy wearing eyeliner, a cis girl butching it up - hot! because they know who they are and what they like

I DIGRESS

I PROMISE THERE’S A POINT

i’ve never told anyone this story so i guess i’m getting into it lol but anyway

so i guess, at some point realising i was incredibly bored swiping left on all these bland, muscular guys who liked the gym, and girls whose hobbies were ‘travelling’, that i wasnt going to find personality here: that’s not what tinder is for, the first thing you see is a photo, and that’s never been enough on it’s own for me to feel attracted to someone

ENTER NEIL

i mean the real story is i came home late one night, drunk, bemoaning how crap dating is for a 30yo girl whose favourite people are all online or long-distance, whose best friend was my partner who dumped me because they didn’t love me anymore, and the only way to get back into the game when i find making friends hard enough was TINDER i was like WHAT IS THIS LIFE

you know, in a fun way

i was drunk, so i was like

lmao neil josten amirite, silently raising a glass to him

so i went through my worst tinder interactions

in chapter one - the chapter i wrote drunk, at midnight, in august 2019 - neil matches with aaron (note this never comes up again... i wonder if they ever mention it to each other. is aaron bi in the fic? i mean, he seems to be with katelyn by part 5. is that a new thing? was tinder an experiment? a joke? was it a different aaron and i was fucking with you? who knows!) neil says “hi” and aaron says “is that the best you can do” - almost word for word interactions i have had on tinder. people judge you for your opening lines, for saying hello rather than asking a question or telling a joke or an anecdote immediately. people write in their bios “if you message me ‘hello’ i wont reply!!!” and i found the social rules infuriating

and i thought neil josten would too

neil josten who said to marissa “i wouldnt call you”

who said to andrew “i dont know what im doing but i want to do it anyway”

obviously i made neil softer, more innocent, more anxious - neil josten, but with the possibility for anxiety about sexuality and social rules heightened, so that could become the focus of the fic

but then he meets andrew? who is like funny and honest and caring - and who also does not care one fuck about social rules

and who gives neil time and space to fall in love with him despite how weird tinder is, especially for someone who is ace/demi

because andrew wasnt there was sex, if he had been he’d have left when neil didnt immediately message “dtf”

andrew needs something different too

ANYWAY

wow that got long

my point is

it’s an idealised love story for demis on tinder

that should be the tagline

why did that take so long to say

tinder fic ch1: lol at matching with aaron and nicky and the author pretending that just never happened

ask me a question!

[livealives]

hello hello it’s kavi the menace again :D i’ve rambled about wolfgang and now i will ramble about phoenix. once again dont be afraid to hmu on d*scord ( greedling#3129 ) or shoot me a tumblr im.

APPLICATION

∽∕ [PARK SEONGHWA, CISMALE, HE/HIM ] hey! you must be that [ TWENTY-ONE ] year old player people were talking about! they kept saying your name is [PHOENIX MAY], but that you go by [ NYX ], and that you’re a [ PERENNIAL] and from [NEW YORK]. oh! and also that you’ve been working as a [PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR] while you’re in here. I really hope it’s true, ‘cus i’ve also heard that you’re [DETERMINED] & [SINCERE], but i’m not going to lie that some say you’re [ PESSIMISTIC ] & [ APPREHENSIVE ]. wait a second…now that I think about it, you kind of remind me of [ WILTED FLOWERS, INK STAINED HANDS, BLOOD SHOT EYES ], which is pretty cool! see you around then! ∕∽

TRIGGER WARNINGS: CAR CRASH, DEATH

STATISTICS

► basics;

full name (f, l): phoenix may age: 21 birthday: december 5 deathday: september 18 this year gender: cismale sexual orientation: gay occupation: private investigator main realm: skyline ► background;

place of birth: new brunswick, new jersey residence @ time of death: new york education: criminal justice major in progress ► physical;

faceclaim: park seonghwa eye color: brown  hair color & style: when he died, he had soft brown hair [link]  height: 5′10 tattoos, birthmarks, scars, etc: has a little heart shaped birthmark on his right wrist. in game: nyx has two distinct appearances. the first is blond hair [link] & pointed elf-like ears. the second is black hair [link] & vampire-like fangs. the reason? he just wanted to have a lil fun bc he didnt really allow himself to have fun when he was alive. also, he was very obsessed with fantasy as a child... thus the ears & fangs...

► personality;

positive traits: (mentally) strong, realistic, thoughtful, perceptive negative traits: blunt, hard-headed, anxious, uptight alignment: neutral good more: think a lot first, act later. makes lists to stay organized and on top of things. caring, borderline parental at times. takes care of others before himself; finds himself to be rather unimportant in the grand scheme of things. will take a bullet for someone he doesnt know the name of. analytical and very intelligent. he can make split second decisions but it isn’t something he’s comfortable with. if possible, he likes to sleep on big decisions so he can make the best choice (but lbr, he wont actually be able to sleep). drives himself anxious to no end bc of how much he overthinks. determined as all hell. hates making choices (think chidi from the good place). needs to let loose but never got the chance to.

► misc;

hobbies: taking care of plants, singing (but never infront of anyone that isnt his family) favorite book: lord of the rings & the hobbit.  favorite music genre: alternative & rock pets: no pets, only plants

BIOGRAPHY

nyx was the oldest of three children. his younger siblings erew fraternal twins and were born when nyx was 10. their parents were extremely busy and had little to no time to spend with their kids. they werent bad parents, they were just busy and forgetful. nyx harbored nothing against them, in fact, he absolutely loved them. both of his parents worked as incredibly smart researchers and were somehow involved in the creation of utopia.

so nyx was essentially left to raise his siblings himself. he learned to be independent at a very young age so he could be a good role model for his siblings and take care of them properly. 

he’s a mediocre cook, an incredible cuddler, a good shoulder to cry on, a good bedtime story teller & lullaby singer, etc etc i cant words right now

even when raising two kids, he managed to keep his grades high enough & do enough extra curriculars to graduate valedictorian and attend columbia as a criminal justice major. he got a license for private investigation and started a side job soon after.

last febuary, his entire world fell apart. he got a call from robert woof johnson hospital about his family. all of a sudden, his entire family was dead. the details were redacted, and he was told that it was ruled an accident. no matter how hard he pressed and who he asked, no one said a thing.

his grades faltered but he kept them up for the rest of the semester. he stopped working and isolated himself from his friends. he stopped taking care of himself and even the plants he loved so dearly started to die. he stayed up for weeks and months trying to piece together any sort of detail regarding what happened.

he died at the start of the semester that just started. scatterbrained and low on sleep, he was involved in a hit and run. the ambulance was able to gather data necessary to upload him to utopia before somewhat stabilizing him. in the hospital his condition worsened and he ended up passing that night. a friend that had once been close to him consented on his behalf for him to be uploaded into utopia. 

in utopia, hes deadset on finding two things: his family and answers. 

he still somewhat-works as a private investigator, meaning that if someone comes to him with a grievance, he’ll do anything in his power to help them.  

this is short and barely coherent because i really dont have many details for him yet. basically, phoenix is just a very nice person trying to do nice things but nice things dont happen to him. connections page coming soon. i will leave u with this incredibly cute gif.

[angrylizardjacket]

when i said it i thought it was true [4] {Ben Hardy}

A/N: 2973 words. Listen, I massaged the timeline a little bit, just suspend your disbelief, perhaps it only takes 4 months to be in post production. Also yes I know X-Men didn’t actually film in Egypt, but I didn’t know that at the start of this fic and now I’m sticking with my mistakes because momma didn’t raise a quitter but she did raise a fool.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

“You’re not proposing to me in a sheer shirt.” The moment the makeup team leaves, you turn on Ben, amusement tugging at your lips as you cross your arms, cocking your hip.

“You don’t like it?” He asked, the picture of innocence as he fiddles with the cuff of his jacket. You raise a singular eyebrow. “I think you do like it.” He hummed, a mischievous sparkle in his eye. When you refuse to break eye contact, your silence is answer enough. “I think you like it a lot.” 

It’s been almost a four months since shooting officially wrapped, two since you’d filmed the last of the pick up shots they’d needed, and a full month since you and Ben seen each other in person; you’d been busy with a Netflix series, and Ben had been in talks about a new project, and you’d been messaging every day but seeing each other in person is... well there’s something different. Playful. Easy. Somehow neither of you seem worried about the looming proposal, and are just making up for lost time.

“Love, you’ve gotta take it up with the stylist, not me.” He shrugged, as if helpless, and turned, making his way to the door, knowing without even looking that you’ll be following behind him. He’s chipper, brimming with excitement and looking damn good, and once he gets to the elevator and pushes the button, he offers you his arm while he waits.

“Marry me.” He says it suddenly, watching the numbers of the elevator tick up to your floor. There’s no-one around, and the ring is still in his pocket.

“What?” With a frown, you step into the elevator, and press the button for the lobby, still tucked up against him.

“What if we just show up engaged?” He asks, hand in his pocket where he’s fiddling with the ring box. He’s not nervous, just contemplative.

“And deprive Swarovski of their moment?” You scoffed, and he tipped his head to look at you, eyebrows raised in exasperated amusement.

“I know you hate the ring, ‘too gaudy, too ostentatious by half’, isn’t that what you said?” He snickers after doing as half decent imitation of you. Giving him a shove, you duck your head to hide your embarrassed smile.

“It’s so ‘look at me! Look at me!’” You huff, and he can’t help but laugh at that. The sound of it, in person rather than over Skype, made you feel, for lack of a better phrase, like you were home. Not that there really was a better phrase, you just didn’t want to think about or admit how much you’d missed him.

“Sorry to say, dude, but there’s nothing more ‘look at me! Look at me!’ than a red carpet proposal.” And yeah, okay, maybe he had a point, but that was one night, you had to wear that ring until... they hadn’t told you the DVD release date, but you’re pretty sure it was some time in the New Year. When you bring this up, he just rolls his eyes. “You’re not the one getting down on one knee for a fake proposal; I’m gonna look like an idiot when this is all over.” 

“Well fine, if you’re so worried, I’ll propose.” Instead of dwelling on his words, you step away, holding your hand out expectantly. When he just stares at you, bewildered, you motion for him to hand the ring box over, and he finally cracks a grin, shaking his head.

“If you think I’m gonna be caught dead in that ring you’re wrong.” He spluttered, and you can’t help but laugh at that.

“Fine, I won’t take your first proposal away from you.” You hum with a smile, tucking yourself back against him. He goes very quiet. It takes you a few moments, but you look up at him, brow furrowed. He seems lost in his own thoughts. “It- Ben you’ve never been engaged before, I feel like I’d know if you had been.” Your words snap him out of his trance and he looks at you with wide, bright eyes, and an unconvincing smile.

“Yeah, no, I would have told you by now otherwise.” The silence that falls around you in not a comfortable one, and you’re glad when the elevator comes to a stop. “I got close once, though.” He admits, quietly. You don’t know how to respond to that; you hadn’t considered how much those words would hurt. You want to ask with who, but you already felt an unreasonable rush of jealousy at the thought of someone else stealing his heart enough for him to want to be with them forever. Unreasonable jealousy.

Filming for X-Men started a week ago and he’s only called you once; he’s on a film lot somewhere in Canada and his hair is curly and god he looks cute but the apartment feels so empty. He’s bright eyed and excited. He’s rambling about how busy he is, and he’s still wearing his makeup. The call lasts five minutes; the cast are going out for dinner. You tell him to have fun, but you’re heart’s not in it; he can sense it, and promises to call you tomorrow, before he hangs up.

He doesn’t call, part of you isn’t surprised.

“Marry me.” He asks again, voice low in your ear. The others in the car can’t hear him, but part of you is afraid they might. They don’t technically know it’s not a real relationship, though part of you thinks Gwilym has his doubts, not that he’d ever voice them.

“Not the time.” You shoot him a warning look, and he just slings an arm around you, leaning back in his seat. 

“You’ll regret not letting me be low-key about it.” He warns in return, giving you a blithe smile, and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Low-key about what?” Lucy asks, and you elbow Ben in the ribs. He keeps smiling, though his mischievousness slides to something more fond as he actually looks at you.

“About anything.” You say by way of explanation, and though she, along with the rest of the car, still look confused, they don’t push it. There’s reporters everywhere when you get out of the car, and you and Ben are the last ones out.

“Last chance before this becomes a spectacle.” He murmurs when he steps out after you, straightening the back of your dress just a little, and he sounds amused, but there’s something genuine in his voice, and you take a moment to pause, turning back to him. His hands land on your hips, his touch light, and his expression is so familiar it hurts, and you realise he is a little nervous; it’s a very public setting for what should be a very private matter. With cameras going off all around you, you pull him in for a kiss, and he relaxes somewhat, kissing you back with his grip tightening on your hips.

“We’re being paid to be a spectacle.” You remind him, and he nods, smiling softly, and the two of you make your way down the red purple carpet together. You have to stop every few feet to do interviews, and soon enough you had pulled ahead of Ben; he had a much larger part in the film that you did, it wasn’t surprising the reporters wanted to monopolise him. It still felt strange, to turn and not have him there. Sometimes you’d do interviews with the other boys, sometimes he’ll be there, and as the main photo area loomed, you could finally feel the butterflies in your stomach.

Soon.

Perhaps too soon.

“What do you mean you’re going to Egypt?” You snapped, wishing your internet connection was better so he could see you glaring clearly.

“I told you about it ages ago.” Ben sighs, clearly tired. It’s there in his eyes, how drained he is, how hard he’s been working, and your expression softens.

“That’s exciting,” you force yourself to take a breath, it was the first time you two had spoken that fortnight, neither of you needed this to be hostile. The days had started feeling so long when you don’t hear from him; all you want is a damn hug and he’s on the other side of the world. “What if I come visit you?”

“In Egypt?” He asks, eyebrows raised.

“In Egypt.” You confirm, a weak smile on your face, he doesn’t look thrilled by the process.

“Don’t bother.” He sighs, and the moment he sees your expression fall, he realises how his words had sounded, and he’s sitting up straight, panicked look on his face, spluttering his way through an apology. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just busy and it’s going to be hot and-”

“No, I get it.” Your dejected sigh was followed by a yawn, and you hovered over the end call button. “When you’re less tired I think we should talk.” You tell him, and you see the confusion, fear, and resignation pass over his face in quick succession.

He agrees quietly, and neither of you really say goodbye before hanging up.

He was tapping on your shoulder as you were halfway through talking to E! News, and you’ve never been more anxious and excited in your life, and never so thankful to not be at the main photo area on a red carpet. His timing was perfect.

“So sorry, could I borrow Y/N for a minute?” He smiles charmingly at the reporter, and his expression softens when he sees the relief in your eyes. 

Before he even starts, it feels off, feels wrong, feels like a performance for the cameras more than anything else. 

“Don’t get teary on me, I know how hard your makeup artists worked.” He begins, and you make sure the cameras catch your surprised confusion. He’s takes one of your hands in his, linking your finger together, and the other holds your face. There’s a moment that passes between you two, his expression softens as he looks in your eyes and it’s as if he’s looking past everything that had happened, the whole setup you’d found yourself in; he was seeing you. 

“This is probably the biggest night of my life,” he starts, taking a deep breath, “for more than one reason; you’re my best friend, you’ve been there for some of the highest points in my life, and some of the lowest. I know you, Y/N, I feel like I’ve known you my whole life, and I want to. I want you there by my side for the rest of it,” it sounds... so much more planned out than you’d expected, so much more heartfelt, and you’d be damned if there weren’t tears in your eyes. Despite the fact that this very private moment had a huge audience, which included a reporter muttering ‘holy shit, is this what I think it is?’, you could only see him. Damn if it didn’t feel real.

“I love you; I’ve loved your since-” his voice catches in his throat, and you see a hint of pain flash across his face before he’s smiling again, “since I first saw you in that damn wig they put you in,” it sounds like an addendum, like he doesn’t really mean it, or like it’s not the whole truth, but it’s enough to make you laugh, and when you look down to hide your embarrassed smile, your tears fall from your eyes, “since you agreed to all of this,” he gestures to himself with a self-deprecating grin, though his double meaning is not lost on you, though his expression turns serious after a moment, “since I first kissed you on set, though that feels like a long time ago.” Your breath catches in your throat, and he sounds like he hadn’t mean to say that last part, his voice too raw, his heart too honest for it to be a truly fake statement. You can do little more than whisper his name in reverence. Gently, so gently, he lifts your head, his thumb wiping the tear track from your cheek. 

“Marry me?” It’s a question this time, and when you look at him with confusion, disbelief written on your face at the way he chose to word it, he laughs softly, sinking to one knee and pulling out the ring box, and revealing the single most frivolous ring you’d ever had the displeasure of seeing. “Will you marry me?” He corrects softly.

The crowd behind you is going absolutely mad behind you, and cameras are going off at an almost blinding rate, but his eyes don’t leave yours. Nodding, you can’t even form words, so caught up in the moment, and he stands, pulling you into a kiss. The flash of cameras surround you like a sea of stars and Ben’s the only thing keeping you on solid ground. His grip is tight enough that he almost lifts you off the ground, and you’re on your tiptoes with his arms around you before his grip loosens, his hands sliding down the small of your back, and for the first time since this whole fake relationship began, he doesn’t hesitate before he deepens the kiss. He tastes like mint and you’re so glad you’re wearing that twenty-four hour lipstick or you know you’d be a mess, and when you pull back, you’re both out of breath, looking at each other with a something akin to awe in your eyes.

You’re pretty sure, in this moment, you love him; nothing fake about it. And you can see it in his eyes that he loves you too. This is dangerous territory for you both.

Stepping back, he takes your hands again.

“I told you not to cry, love.” He laughs gently, voice so soft as you dab at your eyes with your right hand, watching as he slides the ring onto the ring finger of your left hand.

“What can I say, you have a way with words; how long were you working on that speech.” You sniffle, grinning brightly as you examine the ring, still holding his hand. After a beat too long of silence, you look up to see him smiling softly at you.

“A while.” He admits, and something about the way he says it makes your chest ache. The moment passes and he looks down at your joined hands. “That’s fucking hideous.” He whispers, shaking his head at the sight of the ring, and you giggle, preferring to throw your arms around him, kissing him again.

The two of you are the last two to arrive at the formal photo area, with the logo backdrop, and Joe’s grin is confused where he greets you both at the edge of where everyone was in a line getting a group shot.

“What was all the commotion over there?” He asked quietly, and Ben stepped into position easily, slipping an arm around Joe’s shoulders and pulling you in. You were still beaming, you couldn’t help yourself.

“We got engaged.” Ben murmurs to Joe, careful not to draw attention to them, which was immediately counteracted by Joe’s loud ‘What the fuck?!’ “Calm down, man, we didn’t want to take all the focus off of the premiere, you know?” 

As soon as the big group shot was taken, you stepped off to the side as the four boys had their photos taken, and you could see Joe murmuring to the others, while Ben just smiled for the cameras and tried not to blush.

Photos were taken with Brian and Roger, of Rami and Lucy, and even some of you and Ben, and when you posed, you both had an arm around each other, and you leaned into him, resting your hand on his chest with your ring on clear display.

There’s congratulations all around as you’re heading into the theatre, but the biggest shock of the night comes in the form of Roger Taylor wrapping you up in a hug while you’re still glowing with pride.

“Before we go in, I want you to know you did an incredible job, dear. You’re a stunning performer and I never had any doubts about you.” As he says it, you can feel Ben give your hand a gentle squeeze. You’re pretty sure you’ve got shock written all over your face. “I’m very proud of you both.” He claps Ben on the shoulder, and Ben thanks him quietly. It looks as though he’s about to head in, but he turns back. “Be good to her, you hear?” He says to Ben sternly, but there’s a glimmer of fondness in his eyes, and Ben rolls his eyes good-naturedly. He’s still holding your hand.

“What was that?” You breathed as soon as Roger had left; you feel like you’ve been doused in cold water, though you can’t help but smile.

“Well I think he definitely approves of you playing Amanda.” Ben moves to wrap an arm around you as the two of you head into the theatre, searching for your seats. “And I think... I think he gave us his blessing?” That sounds more confused than anything else, and you don’t know how to respond one way or the other, apart from softly laughing as you sit down next to Lucy. Part of you, the largest part that had stayed sane and not drunk on this fake engagement, is pretty sure Roger’s going to be the hardest to break it to, when everything’s over; part of you worries that without Ben, you’ll lose his approval, which you didn’t realise you’d been craving until you’d received it. There’s an anxiety that builds in your chest as the lights go down, but Ben’s hand is in yours and you lean your head on his shoulder, and you can ignore that little worry for now.

the rat pack: @hotspacedeacon @strangeandwonderfulconcepts @itssaje @d-r-e-a-m-catchme @callumidiot @rockandrollandshit @bohorap @pietrorunsforme @sweetfierceimagines @itsjackothy @mhftrs @sherlockiantheatrenerd @softbenhardy @multifandomgirlrandomstuff @virtualsheepeat @smile-nine @i-padfootblack-things @deaconsroger @spookyfrances @holyurlbatman @your-idiotic-excellency @cosmicsskies @chlobo6 @screaminggalileochickenwrites

(crossed out means it wouldn’t tag; i’ll try again for the next part, lemme know if you wanna be tagged xx)

[silenthilllz]

Changes (MyWorld fic)

I know im supposed to be writing x readers, but my brain is mush AND i cant focus enough to continue any fucking drafts I have. So I was inspired to finish this one damn myworld draft I own. A fan inspired me.

Pau laid in the millions of sunflowers he was dozing off in. He had a smile on his face as the warmth of the sun caressed his face. It felt so nice to just relax after working all week to fix up the camp that had been destroyed by raiders. Now he was just relaxing.

“Hey, Bushy Brows. You enjoying the sun?” A familiar voice had approached.

Pau kept smiling even though his sunlight was being blocked by someone he knew. “I was until you blocked it.” He opened his eyes to stare at the person. “Hellucard, what are you doing here? I’m not coming back. I’m taking a break.” He made no move to get up. He closed his eyes once again, simply humming.

Once again the sunlight’s warmth engulfed him as he felt Hellucard lay down next to him. It was quiet for a while with the exception of the bugs and birds chirping in the day time.

“Pau, can I ask you something?”

Pau hummed a response.

“After all this is over, will we still.. be together?” Hellucard’s voice drifted off at the end.

Pau opened his eyes and looked over at Hellucard who’s face was anxious. Pau turned over so that he was lying on his side. He propped up his elbow, resting his head on his palm. “Of course we will. Nothing will ever change that, love.” He used his other hand to move Hellucard’s hair out of his face. He stared into Hellucard’s honey colored eyes and smiled.

Hellucard closed his eyes and scooted closer to Pau. He nuzzled his head into the crook of Pau’s neck. “I just worry is all. With the world changing, and the appearance of those new monsters...”

Pau placed his arms around Hellucard, embracing him softly. “I would never leave you. Nothing will ever make me leave you. I love you. You know that.” He cooed. “I will stay by your side forever.”

 ---

Pau stood there in front of the mirror in his bedroom. He stared long and hard at his features which seemed to never change even though he had been living for a very long time. To be honest, he had forgotten how long he had been alive. It seemed like eons. He roughly guessed he had been living for 100 years or so.

Time was always so slow around here. It never seemed to flow. There was no day or night cycles around in the Void. It was just...frozen. But he knew that time did continue in this world because of the huge clock that always ticked in the lounge of the base. And a quick look at his calendar that was hanging from the wall told him that it was the 10th of January 2019.

Pau lifted his hand and touched the spot where his right eye used to be. It didn’t hurt anymore. Sometimes Pau had panic attacks when he would wake up from his slumber; he thought he had became blind in one eye when there was nothing but darkness. He slowly traced the scar that went down to his jaw. He remembered the pain from the sudden attack.

It wasn’t her fault really. 

---

Hellucard stood there smirking at the enraged demon princess in front of him. He had successfully chained her up to the core so he could siphon her energy out. He blinked slowly, kneeling down in front of her. “Hope you’re all warm and cozy because you’re gonna be here forever.” He chuckled, moving his body away as she lashed out at him.

The girl growled out curses in a different language at Hellucard and Pau. She was furiously angry right now. Dark shadows began to encircle her as she tried to tear out of the chains holding her back. She was crouching on the steel floor, claws leaving marks. Her eyes a golden color, focusing on Hellucard solely. Her tail lashed out.

“You’re gonna tire yourself out. And probably even hurt yourself if you keep doing this. Just relax and sit tight, you’re not going anywhere princess.” Hellucard smiled coldly at the girl who was reduced to nothing but low growls. “Good girl, just stay quiet and maybe we wont chain you up anymore.” 

Pau was standing idly to the side as he watched the one sided conversation between his boss and the.. captive princess. He didn’t dare make a move because he was afraid the monster would strike. She didn’t look too stable with all that darkness swelling around her body. “Uh.. Hellucard, I think it would be wise to move away from her. Somethings not right.” He inched closer to them, ready to just grab Hellucard by the shoulders and throw him out of the room.

Hellucard looked up from where he was fiddling with a collar around the girl’s neck. He raised an eyebrow. “She’s fine~ She’s kinda out of it right now. I’m guessing that darkness is just a defense mechanism.” He moved the girl’s head to where Pau could see her features clearly.

She looked so lifeless now. Whatever Hellucard put on her had made her a little docile. She was still growling and muttering words he didn’t understand, but she wasn't trying to attack anyone at the moment. Her eyes were starting to fade into a dull color of yellow. She went limp in Hellucard’s hands.

“See! She’s harmless now!” Hellucard laughed, dropping the girl onto the steel floor and standing up to stretch his back out. “I think I’mma go and take a bath. I have bathed in so much blood today. I didn’t even know people had that much blood.” Hellucard snickered as he began to turn away from the princess. “You wanna join me?” He winked at Pau.

Pau shivered with disgust. “No thank you. I’d rather be on my own.” He’d rather not be anywhere near Hellucard at the moment. He was thinking about the stuff he had just done.

As Hellucard turned his back on the girl, a snapping noise was heard and the sound of chains falling onto the ground occupied it. In an instant, the princess lunged at Hellucard with her claws ready to rip his face apart. She let out an animalistic howl and up came a dark shadow from the floor and went straight at Hellucard. But, unfortunately, Hellucard sidestepped and instead, the attack hit Pau right in the face.

The sound of flesh ripping apart echoed in the room. The air was beginning to smell a little bit bloody. A scream erupted out of Pau’s mouth as he held his wounded right eye. His knees buckled underneath him as he kneeled over, curling into a ball in pain. His face was burning, like he had been caught on fire. He couldn’t hear anything as darkness swallowed him whole. 

---

When Pau had awoken from his time in the darkness, he remembered that he was in his bedroom where Laurel and Yuu were watching over him. Laurel had did her best to heal his wounds, but she couldn’t save his eye. Pau remembered looking around the room for Hellucard, but he wasn’t there.

That day, Pau realized that he wasn’t having fun anymore. From kidnapping a princess from her home to seeing Hellucard torture her every damn day in the base. Hellucard killed millions of people from his time searching for a power source for the base. He picked up people who’s worlds had been demolished and eaten by the same monsters that lived in the Void. 

Hellucard had changed. 

And it wasn’t for the best.

[abelhayward]

I got these feelings for you | Abex

Who: Abel Hayward & Alexia Connors @littlelexvc

When: Wednesday, November 14th 2018. 

Where: Creed II premiere 

Notes: Fluff, just a lot of fluff and feelings.

Triggers: anxiety, nsfw-ish

Abel rubbed his hands together as he waited to see Lex and gave people smiles when they passed him. He let out a breath as he tried to keep calm, but good thing she said that she liked him a lot? He rolled his eyes when he felt his phone vibrate, knew it was his mom telling him about her taking Issy home since it was a school's night.

Lex wove through the waves of people, holding the top of her dress in place as the tape the girl in the fashion department had put there was starting to lose it's tackiness and she really didn't feel like having a nip slip in front of all of these people. She saw Abel waiting for her and smiled, despite her apprehension about the conversation they were probably about to have. When she finally made it to him, she went straight in for a hug. "The movie was fantastic."

Abel looked up to see her walking towards her and returned the smile before he returned the hug. He felt a wave of relief wash over him when he heard her. "Thank you, I was worried that I wouldnt fill in the previous actor's shoes but I was able to do so." He replied, kept his hands on her lower back and pulled away slightly. "You look." He took in her dress and her look before he met her eyes. "Amazing." He swallowed hard as he looked at her and gave her another smile before he looked around then back down at her. "I found a place where we can talk."

Lex let herself linger in his arms for a moment too long, pulling away after she knew he had gotten a good look at the dress, and the girls. "I know I do," she chuckled, awkwardly crossing her arms in front of her, "You look pretty damn great yourself." She shifted her weight, her nerves beginning to show in her body language. It wasn't normal for her, but then again she hadn't been in this sort of a situation for a really long time. "Well, lead the way, then."

Abel shrugged off his coat and wrapped it around her shoulders, hoping it was okay. "Thank you." He replied as he looked at her and nodded before he turned around, did a head nod towards one of the wait staff and pulled back a black curtain. He headed towards a nice, inviting room and shut the door behind her once she was in.

Lex settled into his jacket, thankful for the gesture. It was freezing in New York that night, and she was really regretting not asking for a jacket of her own to go with the dress. Following him into the side room, she started pacing. She just couldn't stop moving. Somehow that made things better, for her anyway. "So..."

"Soo..." Abel started to say as he watched her pace and slipped his hands into his pockets as he leaned against a wall. "We both like each other, a lot and like I said. Im not gonna force things, we can go at a slow pace if you want, we can end whatever we're doing, now. If you want and go back being best friends." He was focused on her needs and what she wants, instead of forcing things onto her or focusing on his needs & wants. "I want you to feel comfortable with anything that we do, Lex."

Nodding as she listened to his little speech, Lex kept walking. It felt like if she were to stop moving she would just fall over, and then her boobs would be everywhere and that’s not even the good kind of boobs everywhere. “We can’t really go back, though. I mean, I know me,” she could feel herself starting to ramble, but just like she couldn’t stop her feet she couldn’t stop her tongue. “I wouldn’t be able to go back, anyway. And I do like you, a lot. But the last guy I dated, he was in med school and we broke up because he didn’t have time for me anymore after five. years.” She finally paused to take a breath, finally able to stand still. “And with all of this,” she looked around the room, gesturing to the fancy clothes, “it seems like you won’t have too much time either.”

Abel agreed, they couldn't go back to be just friends. "I agree, I wouldn't be either." He pipped up before she started to ramble, making valid points and pushed off of the wall when she stopped talking.  He took her hand gently, guided her toward the couch that was in the middle of the room and he sat down to look up at her. "Which, I get it, I do. " He paused as he ran his thumb across the back of her palm. "However, when I was in LA, I wished you were there with me. In Miami, I wished you were there with me. Even in Atlanta, I wanted you there with me. That's why when I touched down in Philly, I grabbed the first train ride I could so I could see you. Another reason why I didn't leave until mid-morning the next day but." He licked his lips as he gathered his thoughts. and met her eyes. "I'll have time for you, because of Im not like your ex. When Im done, with the press tour for Creed II, I'll be back to you in a heartbeat and Im actually staying in New York until I have to leave again next week." He chewed on his inner cheek a bit. "I want you to come with me. Im not asking you to drop everything for me, believe me. I don't want to be the reason why you lose your job or your place because I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Like I said, we can go at a slow pace, if you want."

Lex listened, though she couldn't really look him in the eyes. Feelings were weird for her, really weird. She'd tried her best since she and Jordan had broken up to not feel them anymore. After the first half, she sat down beside him, crossing her arms in front of her again to keep everything in place up there. "Coming with you isn't exactly moving slowly, Abel," she smiled half-heartedly at the wall and leaned back against the back of the couch to think. "And you just said yourself that you still have more press stuff to do, and then you're only going to be home for a week before leaving again. And we both know I can't just leave work for however long you'll be gone, even if I wanted to."

Abel nodded when she pointed out. "I guess its not." He said softly as he listened to her, took off his pinky rings and rubbed his hands together after he pocketed them. "Yeah." He bit down on his inner cheek. "Then I'll be home for good, but that doesnt solve what to do right now." He let out a sigh as he ran his hands over his face and ignored his heart sinking. "What are we gonna do, then?"

"Are you okay with where we are right now?" she asked quietly, trying to figure out where they could go from here while he was going to be out of town for a while. She could see that he was just as nervous as she was, though, so she sat back up and gently put a hand on his knee. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Because it doesn't seem smart to change things until your life calms down a little."

Abel felt her hand on his knee, which made him want to hold it but he wasn't for sure if he should. He opened up his mouth, closed it and looked down at the ground before he looked back at her. "Im okay with is as along you are." He whispered. He gently shook his head at her words. "No and its not only gonna change for us, but for Issy too."

Lex found that it was easier to look at the hand she'd placed on his knee than to actually look him in the eyes. She didn't know if she'd completely messed up by saying that or if he really did agree with her. "Be honest, please. Don't just say what you think I want to hear," mumbling towards the end, for all she knew he hadn't heard any of it. "I know. That's one of the reasons I'm.. dammit I'm really anxious about this."

Abel listened to her and swallowed some as he turned towards her. "I wanna be with you, Lex. If that means keeping things as they are right now, then we keep doing the friends with benefits and once I'm home, home. We can always take baby steps and see where it goes." He said as he looked at her. "I am too."

Lex kept her eyes down as she listened to him, refusing to let whatever emotions she was feeling show on her face. "Okay, I'm okay with that if you're sure you're okay with it. And if you're okay with things possibly changing for Issy."

Abel nodded as he kept his hands to himself. "I'm sure I'm okay with all of it, Lex." He said softly. "I dont want to force you."

"And I don't want you to do something you're uncomfortable with either," she sighed, squeezing his knee gently before finally looking up at him. "I promise, I would never let myself be forced into something I don't want."

"I promise, I wont do anything that's uncomfortable with," Abel said as he made eye contact with her. He nodded shortly after she said that. "And I promise, I wont force you into doing something that you dont want to do."

"Well, now that that's settled," she smiled softly, kissing his cheek before standing back up and adjusting the front of her dress to make sure the tape was still sticky. "You should probably get back to the party, people will be missing you soon enough."

Abel smiled softly when she kissed his cheek and looked away when she was adjusting the front of her dress. He looked back at her with a smile as he stood up and looked at her. "Yeah, well. They can wait."

Lex cocked an eyebrow at him, watching him quizzically as he stood. "Oh?" she chuckled, taking a step closer to him. "I hope you have a good excuse prepared."

Abel smiled when he took a step closer to her and nodded. "I do, believe me." He said as he kept his hands at his sides and adjusted his coat on her.

"Care to share? I'm intrigued," Lex grinned up at him.

"My parents was talking to me about taking my daughter to Disneyland," Abel said as he placed his hands on her hips as he looked down at her. "And we lost track of time."

"I guess that's a good enough excuse," she murmured, closing the rest of the gap between them, and wrapping her arms around his neck. His jacket fell off her shoulders and onto the floor, but she didn't care.

Abel raised an eyebrow when he heard her. "Wanna give me a better excuse?" He wrapped his arms around her, leaned down and rubbed his nose against hers.

Lex shook her head, "I don't think I could give you a more believable one, really." She could feel the redness creeping up her neck and onto her cheeks, the stress of the situation finally subsiding.

"I'm sure you can," Abel said softly as he looked at her and gave her a soft smile before he pecked her lips.

Lex kissed him again. ”I think you just want to keep me here for other things,” she teased, pulling him closer and pressing her lips to his. She knew they wouldn’t be able to stay hidden away for long, but she would take advantage of the moments they were able to steal.

Abel let out a soft chuckle when she spoke and shrugged a bit. "I mean," he glanced down and ran his finger down the side of her breast. "I would be up for it if you are or we can wait until we're at my old apartment." He returned the kiss as he darted his tongue across her bottom lip. He had a feeling someone was looking for him, but he didnt want to leave yet.

Lex’s skin shivered under his touch, and she grinned up at him. “They look pretty great, don’t they?” She chuckled and shook her head, kinda disappointed with the realization that she wasn’t up for the adventure she had suggested. “As much as I don’t want to wait,” she murmured against his lips before trailing kisses around his jaw up to his ear to whisper, “I don’t know that I could stay quiet.”

"They truly are, but I also know that they look great outside of your dress," Abel said with a grin as he looked down at her.  He couldnt help the smirk that spread across his lips when he heard her and nodded as he silently agreed. "Fair enough and I know for sure I wanna make you vocal."

Lex could feel herself starting to blush, which was not something she did. She instantly thought of something that could spoil the plan they had just made, and just blurted our, “Where is Issy tonight?”

"She's with my parents back at the house. Hence why I suggested my old apartment, since I have a key to it, still." Abel said as he looked at her and brushed back a piece of hair.

Lex nodded, her brief worried slowly transitioning to a confident grin. “Well then, what do you say we get out of here? At least, as soon as you get done taking pictures with important people.”

Abel grinned as he nodded and kissed her lips. "I'll make it quick, promise." He whispered softly.

Lex smiled, nodding her head and pulling away from him to pick up the jacket that had fallen on the floor earlier. She dusted it off before handing it back to him, “You better put this back on before you go back out there.”

"Yeah, you're right but the minute we're alone, I'm gonna put it on you again," Abel said as he grabbed the jacket and slid it on before he started to fix it. "How do I look?"

“I’d rather you be taking clothes off of me at that point, but okay,” she smirked, looking down to double check that everything was still in place on her dress. She gave him a good look and grinned, “Like some Greek god. It’s kind of infuriating.”

"Baby, the minute we walk into the apartment, I'll be taking off your clothes. We might even fuck around the place." Abel smirked. He glanced down at his clothes, then back at her and gave her a grin. "I do have amazing muscles, so theres that."

“Good,” Lex laughed, satisfied by his answer and convinced her boobs weren’t going to jump out of her dress before their time. “Believe me, I know. And so does everyone else at this event. We all saw the movie.”

Abel chuckled a bit. "True, but someone does have a closer look at them than anyone else." He said as he looked at her before he kissed her cheek. "Where should I meet you?"

Lex grinned, laughing softly. “A few blocks down? Far enough that there won’t be cameras. We can take a taxi from there to your place.”

"Sounds good to me." Abel said with a soft smile. "I'll text you when I'm heading down there and in the meantime, you can wear my other coat that I brought with me." He reached down and dug out the ticket. "Here you go."

Lex took the ticket and smiled, “Thank you. I’ll see you then.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before walking out of the side room, back into the party.

Abel nodded as he watched her leave, adjusted his jacket and headed out into the party shortly after she did. He noticed one of his friends, whom he knew for a while and talked to a few of the guests who came to the premiere.

[irregulardiaryposts]

00:53 21/06/2021

Hello again <3

so i think im gonna write about my mental health today because i dont feel like i have anyone who understands fully apart from myself maybe so i need to Organise my Thoughts. as a kid i had a pretty normal childhood, a mum a dad and a brother - pretty nuclear right. but as a child i felt like my family maybe wasnt quite right, that this wasnt supposed to be what family is? perhaps. - i was scared of my mum a lot because she wasnt very understanding of me - and i was a great kid, never getting into trouble, very good at school, no issues whatsover. the thing that really shows how i thought of my relationship with my mum was when i was like maybe 8 or so having a parents night and at it my teacher had nothing bad to say apart from i was kinda bossy in group settings (im sure i dont need to explain how misogynistic that actually is- i was not bossy i was a natural leader) and when i got home my mum told me off for that and i felt like she was kinda cold to me and not taking all the good things about me into consideration when telling me off for that.

i feel like thats a really defining moment in my life when i realised i cant expect adults to Understand me, realised how people treat young girls, also started my defiant behaviour maybe or was kinda one of the key moments that made me dislike certain authorities in my life, that if people wont understand me regardless of how i explain myself then i wont bother trying to be understood by people who wont matter to me. anyway yes i was scared of my mum-like petrified sometimes- but my dad wasnt great either, he also had his shortcomings. i feel like he never really cared about me like he was kinda apathetic towards raising me like a parent - i feel he would be better suited as an uncle to someone rather than a dad - the funny childish guy that makes kids laugh -not the uncaring dad that cant be bothered to really learn about his kids. and i feel im sitting here complaining about my parents when the fact is that a lot of adults should never be parents, society has conditioned people into thinking the only way to be fulfilled in life is to live vicariously through your kids when life gets to such a boring and monotonous place where you feel the need to create a new life to spice things up lmao. i feel a lot of parents regret having kids but they cannot express that regret because it was their choice and they should deal with that, also saying you regret it would be pretty horrible to the kid.

so while yes i am complaing about my parents i dont think they were Bad in any way just not that great yaknow. also i just notice all these things growing up and i feel its been pretty impactful to understanding myself and my parents. also just some anecdotes from my childhood - i used to watch my dad play video games like the uncharted games i think theyre called, and whenever i got scared i used to hide behind the couch until the scary part was over (usually a lot of guns and high energy fight scenes thats too much adrenaline for a 7 yo) and sometimes when i would take out my dad/brothers game i would get them to fo the hard parts and do other stuff myself - i dont remember many games i played apart from one of the spidermen games where u could just web around the city and not progress apart from sometimes you would come across some strippers and i accidently got into a fight with them (also hot women with umbrellas they use to fight- maybe i went near them on purpose) i would yell to my dad and get him to do it for me. also on new years eve whenever my mum was working and we werent going to any family parties we would make a bunch of food and put it out in the kitchen - wed make like homemade onion rings, chips, have crisps and dips, and a bunch of junk basically and watch like austin powers or some shit and genuinely miss those times they were so simple. but a lot of thats tainted now from what happened. also my brothers always been annoying as shit but when we were kids we couldnt be in the same room without arguing which like whatever thats how kids are esp brothers and sisters for some reason.

i think thats majority of the background needed for the rest. wait this is a little addition but i meant to mention this here so ill put it in- basically sometimes on holidays i would geniunely think my parents hate each other/ were getting a divorce like once when we were in florida in 2012 my dad convinced my mum (as well as me and my brother convinced her since we liked them) we convinced her to go on a water slide thing that u had to walk up the stairs for, it was outdoors, and it was kinda tall and then we got in one of the big donut things and it swooshed from side to side a lot and was generally pretty scary i suppose for someone who doesnt like rides esp since you had to hold on to the handles there were no buckles or anything, and so when we got off the ride my mum was big mad at my dad and like wouldnt talk to him and stuff like that which was pretty uncomfortable to have to be the 8 year old mediator of that but there was also another occasion i think (maybe also at florida) where they were made at each other and i asked my mum if they were getting divorced and all she said was 'ask ur dad' like???? no sort of consolation to this child who thinks their parents hate each other nooo just petty 'ask him' and theres also been other times when they fight/ are mad and they dont feel the need to hide it from us so i felt quite anxious around my parents sometimes.

so ahnyway . yes. when i had just turned 13 my parents split up and it fucked me up in a multitude of ways. also i cant beleive i stopped being a proper kid at 13, like as soon as i turned a teenager life hit me like a fucking truck. so the context as to why they split is still kinda lost to me ngl but they didnt tell me much anyway since i was young but my mum basically said my dad didnt love her anymore and he wanted to separate. its kinda funny because leading up to this my dad had been sleeping in the living room for like a few weeks and there was on and off fighting i could hear and i basically thought they were fighting over me and that i was in trouble and it kinda used to keep me up coz i could hear loud voices when they thought i was asleep- which is probably the cause of why i get veryyyy mad and angry when i hear my mum at like 1 am downstairs when shes drinking and im trying to sleep, probably something ive internalised (is that the word?) and made me respond so strongly to those type of noises.

anywayyyyy yes i thought i was in trouble when they were actually just getting a divorce so ... yeah you can really tell i was young and didnt understand adult issues or really couldnt figure this out myself from all the arguing and him sleeping downstairs lmao. anyway my dad moved out and it was just me my mum and my brother now and at this point my brother wouldve been about to turn 18, so although still kinda shit, not really as affected my it as a 13 yo, just to keep in mind. so i was devastated obviously and my whole world was kinda shattered but i had to hold it together a bit, also i was sometimes my mothers own therapist having to say things like 'everything happens for a reason' 'itll get better' in response to her deteriorating mental health and her questions that would be really hard for me to answer like 'why did he leave' etc (bish im a child be there for me not wallow in ur own pity, u have ur whole life to sort this out youre an adult, im a 13 you and only months away from wanting to kms hun think of ur CHILD please) anyway this left me feeling like a burden if i were to share my mental state because when my mum shared her stuff she was burdening me (AGAIN i was 13 she is an adult) so that made me bottle a lot of things up also the fact that i had no one to share it with because she works as a nurse and now shes a single mother and so she works almost all hours of most days and i dont see her much, my brother was either working at this time or just didnt give enough of a shit about me to make sure i ate.

i went from being catered to for every meal because i didnt know how to cook to suddenly no one being there for me so i had to learn how to do it myself. needless to say that lead to a bunch of unhealthy eating habbits like eating the same things every day - frozen pizza, cheese toasties, i cant think of anything else probs because i didnt make anything else just ate chocolates or didnt eat breakfast coz i woke up at 2pm. just general unhealthyness both in substance and like how healthy that was for my head yk. also this is during the summer btw so it gave me the option to be incredibly depressed - im not saying that as an edgy teen thing to say im being 100% genuine i was very depressed like textbook style - not eating or overeating, not showering/ taking care of myself, extreme lack of energy and hated doing social things coz i had to put on a farce that i was okay meanwhile i couldnt wait to get into my bed and sleep the next day and a half away.

i very vividly remember at the start of the summer holiday my friend asked me if i wanted to go out and do something and i rememeber just crying at that because i had no reason to say no but i just didnt want to and felt like i couldnt do anything and so i lied and said i wasnt feeling well and then put my phone down and curled up in my bed and cried coz i was frustrated and upset and i couldnt really understand what was wrong with me and why i was Like This.

god i didnt take into account how tired i was and how late it is when i started this huh, this isnt even half of it, but i have obligations in the mornign, the last until uni or whatever so ill put this in my drafts and finsih it somethime. alrigtht it is 02:08 btw z_z. also ive just now decided im gonna re organise my tumblr so if this ends up being an actual blog thing i can navigate it easier by adding tags and such. anywau goodnight.

20:21 30/06/2021

MOTHERFOIUHIFIUDVMKCVKM V

MY LAPTOP SHUT DOWE IN THE MIDDLE OF THSAT SO ITS ALL GONE BASICALLY I WAS DEPRESSED BURTNOUT GIFTERD KID AND IT SUCKED YADDa YADDSZ ANYTWAY

so

23:01- well. yes earlier i wrote a little about the ages 13-16 and how they sucked but whatever it got deleted the more pertinent stuff happened in the last year or so anyway.

um yeah so i started the last year of highschool as a 16 year old with a fucked up brain and never having learned any study techniques or work ethic in the slightest. i took 3 uni-level courses only one i actually wanted to do, most people take 2 at most or even 1/0 but do other classes. honestly it fucking sucked this year for school but i scraped all passes so thank god for that. so i started the year quite optimistic, or as much as i could be and in all fairness the content of this year wasnt actually that bad considering i was doing 3 hard classes but corona really truly fucked everything up and by November i had mentally dropped out of my classes but of course i still had to go to them. i feel like im an oddly independent teen because ive never had a solid parental presence in a while, like i had to do a lot for myself and maybe i should thank myself for getting me through it all because i really did pull through.

my thoughts keep drifting from what im writing coz i wanna talk about different things and im just thinking maybe i shouldve just posted the last one then added a reblog when i could be bothered to write and not force myself because if theres ever a reoccurring theme in my life is that if i force myself to do anything i will hate it with my entire being, so maybe i should just do a short synopsis and write about something else afterwards.

so i took 3 hard classes, slowly lost all motivation because in jan it switches to online classes and i could Not deal with those it was horrible, and i became more of a "troublesome student" in one of my classes *cough* maths *cough* and almost got "kicked out" of taking the class just because the teacher was a control freak but like wanted to control all of our actions and behaviour, also i think i may have adhd and another kid in my class i think he does too and surprise surprise the teacher "dislikes" him too but its only a farce because he doesnt actually dislike him its only so that i cant call him out for singling me out when other students behave "badly" too. but anyways maybe ill come back to this in a while when i can be arsed explaining my complicated relationship with my parents.

the only reason i wanted to write this today was so that i could tag the post with like june 2021 or something and not june/july, but i might make another post later, Anyway happy end of pride month i supose, hope u figure it out me!

[etherealskeletons]

every single drug addict flocks to my dad as soon as they see him i swear to god

i dont wanna seem like a huge fucking dick or anything but i hate it and wish they would leave him/us alone bc my dad will literally put these strangers first and will drop everything in his power to help them

and i feel BAD for them ofc and i realize it makes me sound like a huge fuckin asshole to be like please dont give them your time/money!! it sucks and its a terrible disease and i hope that they get the help that they need, but i hate that my dad always seems to get roped into driving them to their drug dealers house and give them money “for pizza” or have them work around the house “for pizza money” like i just!! i dont feel safe having them around i dont like it and i tell him htis but hes always like “I cant help it im a humanitarian i feel bad for them, these druggie old men are like my sons :(( lol ur so funny when ur mad”

i end up worrying a lot when hes gone dropping them off who fuckin knows where bc idk if these guys are desperate enough to mug him or if he ends up in the wrong place/time and gets caught in some crossfire and hes like ohh thats just ur anxiety talking that prolly wont happen you think too much in extremes these guys that i barely know seem harmless but i just fhfhbh!!!!! HATE it i hate it i hate it. i feel like if he were to die i have no choice but to die myself because i feel like i habe no one and i have no real life skills or any idea on how to live/be an adult and i would feel like a piece of me died and idk how to live like that idkidkidk

i just dont wanna get wrapped up in druggie weirdos again i already spent nearly my entire life around them. i had to watch my mom nod off on the couch and pawn my shit for drugs and get dragged into her drug therapy appointments and be around her creepy friends. i watched as my relatives dug through my stuff and my grandparents stuff for drug money [or theyd jus go into my grandmothers medicine drawer and steal her pain killers to get high] my dad knows all this too bc he lived through it too like its nothing NEW and he knows its not good to enable them and he knows how anxious i get around these guys and how i dont like that hes ignoring his own wellbeing to try and take care of others

and maybe im more frustrated/upset about it bc he admitted that he was pretty negligent to me growing up and how hes super sorry about how he raised me. i ALWAYS felt like hes always cared about other people more than me and cared for everyone elses well being more than his own and my well being theres always some excuse and he ends up laughing when im upset bc its funny but then he does his own sob story like “WELL i never said i was a perfect person, i have mental illness too yknow!!” and starts crying and then i feel like im becoming my mother because all she ever did was make me feel guilty and bad and made me cry all the time and i feel like im becoming her anytime im mad nad i hate it i hate it i hate that im anything like her

but my GOD LIKE I FUCKIN KNOW YOURE MENTALLY ILL ive lived iwth you my ENTIRE LIFE and im pretty sure you and everyone else in this cursed family passed some fucking mental issues to me. and i want YOU TO GO TO THERAPY and WORK ON YOURSELF and actually do it instead of going i know i know ur right i know i should im going to start bettering myself bc i dont like to see you all worked up but then you dont!!!!!! you dont and we go through this all over again where i feel like im gonna fucking scream and throw up because im so anxious that you might die sooner rather than later because you dont take care of yourself and you hang around sketchy people!!!!!!

its just extremely frustrating watching someone you care about, who already has a lot of problems, completely ignore themself and throw money they should be putting on themself to some doe-eyed drug addicted old men

i feel like complete shit complaining about this

[bnha-scenerios-imagines]

Hey!!! So Im totally in love with your blog!! You're really talented and I just adore your writing style!! 😄❤️ I was wondering if I could get a scenario where a fem reader sticks up for Shinsou when some kids in hall are talking bad about him when they know he can hear (because reader has a major crush for the lavender cutie) and then they become friends but after a while he tells her he never really saw her as just a friend and confesses that he wants more? Thank you so much!!

Hitoshi Shinso

“Shinso’s quirk is useless. I mean, how can he become a hero if every person already knows to just not react?” One of the boys in the group snort out, glancing at the classroom door where he knows the lavender haired boy can hear. 

“Plus,” One of the girls move in, “His quirk would suit a villain wouldn’t it?” She looks over to her friend who nods in agreement with the girl, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I agree, it’s quite a scary quirk to have. What if one day he decides to use it on us?” She shakes her head, frowning. 

“Hold my books,” You say to your friend as you drop them into her arms. She’s quick to catch them, frowning as she watches you approach the trio causing trouble for your crush. 

“kick their asses, (Name).” She whispers just loud enough for you to hear before she stands back, waiting for you to be done. You step in front of the three, your hands resting on your hips as you frown at them.

“Listen here. Shinso is here to become a hero, unlike you three, he’s actually working on it. He worked hard to be here, while you three got a free ride. Last time I checked the three of you almost failed the entrance exam, and you’re barely passing now. Shinso is a hard worker, and who cares what his quirk is! Bakugou’s quirk from class 1-A is literally blowing things up and he’s in the hero class. What does that tell you?” You huff, crossing your arms while you glare at them, “Shinso is a kind, gentle, and wonderful person who worked hard to come to this school, he works hard to pass every class in the honors and he works hard so he can someday be a hero. The three of you shouldn’t even be here” You turn on your heel, sending them one last glare before saying, “So, leave him alone. Or next time I won’t be so considerate” You walk back over to your friend who happily hands you, your books and follows you away. 

“What a bitch” One of the girls' huff. The door slides open and Shinso turns his attention to the direction you were walking and he made a mental note to speak with you at the end of the day. He slowly turns his attention to the trio at the door who are looking at him nervously. He says nothing as he passes them, staring at them as he does so. 

“(Name)” He calls out, his hand slightly raised before you leave the classroom. You look up, stopping in your tracks to look at him. Your friend grins as she nudges you before walking out the door. 

“Yeah, Shinso? What can I do to help you?” You question as you walk over to him, stopping in front of him. His hand awkwardly scratches the back of his neck as he sends you a sheepish smile. An expression that made your heart skip a beat.

“Thank you for earlier today, I uh- heard what you said. Thank you” he said, looking away from you. You smile, beaming at him as you shake your head. 

“You don’t deserve those words. You’re an amazing person Shinso and you’ll be an amazing hero” You turn on your heel, expecting the conversation to be over but he quickly asks,

“May I walk with you?” When you turn to look at him, surprised, he looks away, his hand falling from his neck and shoves them into his pockets. “O-or not. It’s really whatever you want-”

“I would love it if you did Shinso” You said as you tilted your head towards the door. He sent you a small smile before stepping beside you. The two of you walking in sync as you spoke with each other, smiling and chatting happily together.

“(Name)” Shinso calls out to you, quickly collecting his books as he walks with you out of the classroom.

“I’ll talk with you later (Name),” Your friend hit your shoulder in a sort of goodbye as she disappeared into the crowd. You waved to her, turning your attention to Shinso who smiled at you.

“Hello Shinso, are you ready for exams?” You asked and he nodded as he moved closer to you, protecting you from the students pushing and squeezing past the two of you.

“Yeah, are you (Name)?” He questioned and you sent him a nervous smile, nodding as you looked down at your books. He knew how anxious you would get about tests, most of the time almost psyching yourself out the night before the test.

“I’m a little nervous, to be honest,” You confess, letting out a shaky laugh as you stop at your locker to grab your backpack and shoes. “But I know you’ll do great Shinso, you’re a natural when it comes to tests” He smiles at your comment as he unlocks his own locker, grabbing his things.

“Hey want to take a detour today?” He asks and you nod excitedly. 

“It’ll be something to take my mind off of” you confess as you lock your locker, waiting for him to finish before the two of you walked out of the school together.

“I want to confess something,” He says as the two of you sit on a small bridge, your feet almost touching the water that flows underneath the bridge. You hum and throw some of the bread from your leftover lunch into the water, watching the fish swim up and eat it. A relaxed smile settled on your features as you repeated your actions. “I never truly saw you as a friend” 

“What?” You ask quietly, stopping your movements as you look at him with wide eyes, your hands involuntarily gripping the bread a little harder than you normally would. He looks at you, a nervous look in his eyes as he continued,

“I uh- always wanted to be more.” He confesses as he nervously grasps his hands together, his knuckles turning white. He turns his attention back to the water, staying like that for a moment before you punch his shoulder.

Hard.

“Ow! What the-”

“You ass! I thought you were going to say you didn’t want to be my friend anymore.” You huff, leaning back on your hands, the bread left on your lap. “Well, I guess that’s what you are saying isn’t it.” You turn your attention back to him, smiling at him. “Yeah, I like you too Shinso. I have for a while” You confess with a nervous laugh as you scratch your cheek.

“Really? You... You aren’t kidding?” He says, leaning closer to you and you smile, looking up at him as you reach over and touch his hand with your fingers. 

“Thank you for telling me in person,” You say with a kind smile and his heart skips a beat. He recalls telling you at one point that he’s always been nervous to ask people what they think of him in fear that they believe he would make them become his puppets. “You’re amazing Shinso” You breathe out and he takes a visible gulp as he inches closer to you, his fingers brushing against yours until the two of you intertwine hands. His face flushes as he looks between your eyes and your lips. 

“May I kiss you?” He whispers and you let out a silent laugh before nodding your head. He inches closer, pausing for a moment, only an inch away from your lips before he leans closer, kissing you.

“After exams lets do something,” You say, pulling away so you can look up at him with a sheepish smile. He smiles back at you, his hands are sweating as he nods, remembering how soft your lips were against his. His stomach does flips as he clears his throat.

“Yes. Let’s do that”

[bakubitch]

Bakugou in a situation where he's trying to confess but they're just so genuinely confused they're reaction is like, "what why?" they just don;t understand why he would liek them. Sure they're nice but he wants to be number one. S/o is average looking, they're not the brightest and not that impressive in battle and above all close friends with Deku so it's not adding up but he sees more in s/o that they give themselves credit for

Bc you didnt specify, I will do another scenario/hc mix !I’m sorry but I think due to his complex issues he is comparing himself a lot, especially to Midoriya (obviously) and Shouto (bc strongest in class n all).I hope this reaches your expectations and that you’re going to like it, anon.

The worlds just naturally fell out of their lips as if it wasthe most common thing to say after someone confessing their genuinefeelings to them on this whole planet. „What? Why?“ Confusionclearly audible in their voice and if it wasnt for Bakugou trying tobe.. calm and collected for now – like seriously, he is having areally hard time and above all he isnt like the half and half bastard– which is so unlikely of him. Current mood: He would’ve bombed thewhole building and bury himself under those remaining crumbles thatwould metophorically reflect the shame and anger that was washingover him. But hell no, he already started so he will also fucking endit even if it turns out to be unmutual feelings. „What the fuck doyou mean by why?“ Okay, well this has already taken the wrongdirection – he internally screamed because he was acting to unlikehim just because of their ass existence. The male wanted to punchthem, punch him, god fucking damn it ! Before they could give him anykind of response, ash-blonde interrupted them, maybe also because hewas anxious of what would come next: „Is this seriously what youare asking after I fucking confessed to you?“ This sounded reallyweird to both of their ears, Bakugou actually saying in words that hewas confessing or had just confessed.

Outof bad habit, he put back his hands into his black joggers’ pockets,emitting an exhausted huff as if he was annoyed by the currentsituation that was taking place yet red on his cheeks were totallylifting the bluff that he tried to pull off. „Could you atleast say something?!“ The raise of his voice caused his crush tostartle and it might have just panged a shot of guilt in his chestbut by no means would he even try to apologize right now. Bakugoucouldn stand to stand here any more seconds while they were justtrailing off with their mind to Nirvana or something, let him getthis at least over with fast! „I’m sorry!“ Oh fuck – thatsentence falling off their lips took him back. But they were reallyrushing to continue: „No- I meant why me?“ The angry boy’seyebrows furrowed in distress at the way they mouthed it out, whatthe heck were they trying to ask him: „What the fuck do you mean bywhy me?“

(HCsfrom here bc im trash)

•Hiscrush seems to be taken aback as well by his following question –they dont seem to have the intention to express themselves butBakugou wont take this shit and wont let them go without giving himwhat he demands which is a god damn explanation – he doesnt want towait even more than necessary oke – geez Baks get a fucking gripand be patient for once =v= 

•Crimson eyes are looking at themas if they’d burn them so running was not an option. You can feel hisface falling with every word leaving them bits by bits as theycontinued, trying to avoid his gaze meanwhile bc they were afraid ofhow he might react and actually, doesnt he want an answer? Does heeven care about the way they felt about themselves right now? •Yeshe fucking did or else he would’ve reacted differently. He is clearlyaggravated and somehow looks as if someone has personally offendedhim, smashing the wall next to them with an explosion – his crushflinching and sweating nervously (so does his hands). •Hedislikes, no, he HATES the way they talk themself down in front ofhim and knowing them well enough Bakugou also knows that everythingthey have just said is their serious opinion about themselves. Thisboy will argue everything, every fucking little detail – he wont doit unreasonably, this boy isnt dumb •Ofc his vulgar languageremains but Explodokills will do it with pride and honesty and mightas well confess all over again how much he likes all those thingsthat he’s arguing with. They asked why so here, they will fucking getit by him telling that what he started to like and love about themAnd hopefully they will accept his feelings – his anxietywill remain until Bakugou will get a proper answer, even giving themTIME to respond (a time limit tho)

„I’m giving you one fucking week! Not more, you heard me?!”

Admin Shiro

[italianblended]

Sometimes u just need to write it all down to get it all out 🤞🏼

Today was a hard day, my bb went back to night shifts so im back to nights by myself, but if im being honest its been a real hard week despite the work schedules going back to “normal”

Ive been doing real good with my anxiety lately, ive been trying to stay positive and happy, look at the bright side type of thing, for the most part its doing the job but of course there’s gonna be some dips too i have to remember that.

I’ve been starting to do all the planning for my wedding that’ll be on October 23rd,2021 💍 To the absolute love of my life.

Growing up every girl has this picture perfect dream of what her wedding and her life will be like at whatever projected age we give ourselves ( i was “supposed” to be married by 22 🤷🏻‍♀️ oops)

But nobody ever tells u about the nitty gritty,

Like you may not have everything you want , you may not be able to invite everyone you want, you’re plans at age 12 are not realistic for real life wedding, you might not get an engagement party like that boy that went to your highschool, you will have family members who will not show up, there will be drama, it does cost excessively expensive and not everything is a fairytale at the end of the day. But we all knew this right?

About 7 months ago i lost contact with my dad, and without going into excruciating detail, he’s pretty much as gone as it gets and my god is it hitting me now. All the wedding planning and my head keeps going back to; He won’t walk me down the aisle, i wont have a father daughter dance and he wont be able to give me away.

Life is full of uncertainties,but no.. i did not see this in the colorful spectrum of scenarios that could occur in the mind of an anxious adolescent.

My love and i are talking about babies, like really talking about babies. We look at Luna, our puppy and it’s crazy the love someone can have for their dog right, well imagine our first kid. You licture this unimaginable love you have for your kid, you think of what kind of parent you’ll be, what kind of family you’ll raise and where you’ll be in 15 years. I dont know all those answers but holy good god will my man be the best damn father i have ever seen.

We’re talking about godparents, were talking about bridal parties, honeymoons, career plans, and its all good. It’s all good stuff. But im still not at my best mentally and thats ok..

My brother in laws new girlfriend is a real sweetheart, i think ive actually clocked more hours with her than i have my actual sister in law, oh well tho lol. She was telling me that I’m a really good hype-man. She was saying someone could say something as silly as i didnt laugh just there, and i will fkng pump u up, with the wooo and the ouuu, and i sat back and thought that hype-man, yeah that’s pretty legitimate.

But lately people have been telling me who i am alot, basing their judgement off things i unnoticeably do, but I wanna take a second to define myself, i’m a person who will ALWAYS put their others first regardless of the fact over the years in my past it wasn’t always reciprocated, im someone who loves to eat so yeah i have some extra weight on my body and no im not innocent to the fact its unhealthy, im attentive as fuck but i rarely say what I notice for fear of being judged, i have alot of feelings and thoughts and sometimes (alot of the times) i dont vocalize them because its way easier to shutup about it then start a thing, im funny as hell, im not a GQ model but I have some nice features. Im fucking smart and I don’t always get the credit I should but I graduated cegep in business marketing and now im going to be a fully certified stock broker at the age of 24. Not bad at all

I have alot of faults, im naggy, i get tired fast, i have a hard time saying no because i hate to disappoint, im annoying and i need alot of love. But you know what I’ll never do? Walk out on my fucking kids.

Yes im sad. But I’ll be okay. And overall I’d say im pretty fucking proud of who i am and the life i have, even though i get sad sometimes i see alot more growth than darkness and that’s enough for now.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[showingthroughtome]

7: june 23rd

Instead of taking it as a joke, Jess replies with genuine, flirty inquiry, “Really? You could stop Carly?”

Harry raises his shoulders, and humbly gestures, “Maybe.”

“Alright.” She agrees, crossing her arms and challenges him. The ball is in his court so now it isn’t up to her  which direction things go - if only for this one situation.

read below - mibba - story page - word count: 1482

Neither Harry nor Jess end up going through with their little sabotaging plans. On a very basic level, it turns out that they don’t really dislike camping, or the woods. They’ve always loved being outdoors, getting into little adventures in the park where they can feed the ducks, going down one of the trails that lead them into a forested area, only to have them both running back to their moms to get checked for ticks an hour later. The only differences between that and camping are that they're there much longer and they have to check for their own ticks. Which, they don't mind enough to want to go home - definitely not more than they liked being with their friends, recklessly drinking alcohol they had to get their older siblings to buy.  

By the third and final night, Jessica has mastered the art of finding the perfect wood to make a lasting camp fire. It may be too early to determine, but she feels like an expert in the area, bragging about it as she walks back to the campsite with Ben and Carly flanking her sides.

She's swinging a hefty stick around, boasting, “I mean, look at this. This will burn all night if we let it.”

“It’ll be ash in an hour and a half.” Ben holds up his hands, shielding himself from the stick.

“I give it an hour.” Carly, equally unamused, catches it and pulls it from Jessica’s hands.

Ben leans forward to look around her to Carly. “Are we making this a bet?”

“Guys! You’re not very encouraging of my skills!” Jess reaches to retrieve her find, coming up unsuccessful mostly because she is short, but also because Carly is extremely tall.

“Hey, you gotta leave her alone. It’s not her fault she only can reach five feet off the ground.” Harry shouts from beside their fire.

Jessica had been so preoccupied by her stick that she hadn’t even realized they were approaching the rest of their friends - what was she? A dog?

She looks between Harry and Carly who are now having a small stare down - Carly’s hand is still in the air and another one is keeping Jess away from her goal. Harry’s expression is one of playful business while Carly’s face reads pure joy. Harry lifts a finger, pointing sternly.

“Ugh, fine.” Carly lowers her arm and hands over the sturdy piece of wood. “It’s kind of sad to literally hold things over your head.”

Jess nods, sarcastically agreeing. “Yeah, I get it. Kind of like how it is to see you try to find something that is actually flammable.”

As soon as the words are out of her mouth, she takes off into a jog to hide behind a snickering Niall and Harry. Niall holds up one of the skewers him and Harry had been putting hotdogs on and aims it in the direction Jessica had come from. When looking back, she finds out that Carly hasn’t even taken a step towards her yet.

“Chill. I’m not gonna attack you.” Carly claims, hands on hip, playing innocent though everyone knows that's never been true.

Ben comes to her side, throws an arm around her neck and grimaces, “Babe, you do know pranks in the night are the same as attacks?”

“Yeah! Pranks at night especially count as attacks.” Jessica peers around Harry's shoulder, emphasizing her point. If Carly is going to retaliate, she would much rather it happen when one of her senses isn’t fucked any further than it usually is. Jess squeezes Harry’s upper arm so he’ll make his stance on her side known.

“Especially.” He nods, and then points his skewer more directly with the most unalarming frown ever.

“Thanks.” Jess huffs.

Carly drops her few pieces of firewood on the pile and throws up her hands in defeat. “Seriously guys. I can take a joke now without getting angry. You’ll see.”

She swings her arm around Ben’s waist and then the two take a seat on a sleeping bag laid out over the dirt.

“Ben, watch your girl.” Jessica pleads, winking at Carly when they make eye contact and becomingly slightly alarmed when Carly doesn’t return one, seeming actually, a little bit pissed indeed.

Jessica shudders at the thought. She places her firewood right in the flame that’s still lightly burning from the one they started for lunch. Soon enough, it’ll be big enough to roast their dinner.

“Do you think I should worry about that?” She asks the boys even though she knows Carly wont do anything that will actually harm her, perhaps something like a demonic symbol drawn on her forehead in permanent ink or sticking her hand in a cup of warm water so she’ll pee her pants like an anxious eight year old.

“I would be.” Niall shakes his head in grief, remembering, “Last time I joked on Carly, she told every girl that I brought into the apartment that I was a crier.”

“No.” Harry slaps his forehead with pity for his friend, shaking his curls and laughing. “That is undesirable.”

“Dude.” Jessica deflates for the guy, only imagining how awkward the follow up conversation could be to that. No offense, but who wants to hear how emotional someone is at first contact with a friend?

“Ehh, that’s okay.” Niall pats the hand Harry had placed on his shoulder comfortingly. “I did get her back. Apparently she doesn’t like honey more than shaving cream. Weird.” Niall smirks, leaving his friends to think about that as he backs away to do something else.

Harry and Jessica grin at the possibilities then face each other, shaking their heads in regret for the roommates who just signed a lease for another whole year.

“They’ll kill each other.” Jessica jokes in delight at her friend's expense.

“They think they’re actually on a prank show.” Harry agrees with a nod. He swats a bug that flies for his face and then returns more seriously, obviously worried for his best friend, “But, seriously, stay alert. I think she spotted a bee hive earlier.”

“Oh my god, Harry. Shut up.” She pushes him with all her might, heart beating faster at the teasing. With all of her friends making jokes about it, the only thing that keeps her from panicking is the thought - she can take a joke now. Carly isn’t fifteen anymore. She can take one little joke now.

“I guess I could sleep in your tent with you to make sure nothing bad happens.” He offers with a smile, eyes on her red vinyl tent set up right next to his yellow one. Even though it wasn’t planned, every one of them brought their own two person tent, figuring they’d share with someone who forgot their own. Since it was their first camping trip, they all chalked it up to a rookie mistake and enjoyed the breathing room as they slept through those warm summer nights.

It would be a lie to say that she didn’t think about maybe sleeping in the same tent with Harry and what that would do. Would it make things awkward? Would it speed things up? Would it leave them in this limbo?

Instead of taking it as a joke, Jess replies with genuine, flirty inquiry, “Really? You could stop Carly?”

Harry raises his shoulders, and humbly gestures, “Maybe.”

“Alright.” She agrees, crossing her arms and challenges him. The ball is in his court so now it isn’t up to her  which direction things go - if only for this one situation.

“Cause I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout forever. Oooh.” Nat, coming out of the woods to the right of them, sings, dancing with grooving shoulders as she croons, “Or do you not think so far ahead?”

She stops right next to them, interrupting their not so innocent, flirty banter entirely.

“That is the ultimate shower song… or I guess, slightly-gross-lake-water-hair-washing song.” She exhales and thinks, “Definitely the more accurate title.”

Then she looks between them and cracks a smile, breaking character of Obnoxious Camping Nat.

“Nat, I love you with my entire soul.” Jess claims in her most serious tone, covering her heart and throwing her arm around her fellow short person. With all her attention on Nat, together they walk to a sleeping bag and prepare a hotdog. Once Nat is sat down, she sees that the fire was left to dwindle under the care of her friends so she gets right back up and complains the whole time she stokes the fire.

For the rest of the night, over red cups and shot glasses, Jess catches Harry’s eyes more than a few times. And at the end of the night, she zips her tent up with tipsy fingers, comfortable to be alone because Carly had complained about being tired for a while before she crashed hard hours ago.

authors note:

hiii! im personally not that happy with this chapter. i feel like its not the strongest one ive ever written. imma let you guys who actually read my notes in on a secret: i write a lot of this story while high. i mean, thats when the story came to me so why not? lol a lot of the time that works out for me but idk about this one. this just seems a little choppy. choppy stoned lauren came out and idk how to fix it (or maybe i am just accepting it for what it is lolol??) hopefully you can stay with me for the next one. because man oh man, we are building up to something!

please please please let me know what you think!!!!!!!!

thank you so so so much to @what-comes-from-within for betaing this for me as she does everything i put out these days, she is the bees knees <3

thank you so much for reading!

- lauren