#and im just shedding light on the aspects that some people try to ignore

[batmobilestires]

i HATE when people mischaracterize Dick and Jason’s Robin likeeee

Robin was created because Dick wanted to literally murder his parents murderer. like sure he had his soft moments, but he was a little ball of rage!! i hate it when yall try to make it seem like he was just a constant ray of sunshine - it’s okay for him to be a little ball of rage sometimes!!

on the other hand, people try to make it seem like Jason’s Robin was the aggressive one just to lessen the importance of his death. like sure Jason was a little feisty - courtesy of growing up on the streets. but do not forget that he literally is the “Robin is magic” kid!!

[blackvahana]

Right, so, today we confront the beast which is a funny af way to start this

Ive needed to confront the things that lead me to resonating with Kos and uh I need to do that now. Last night, I was drawn to a specific place... here's the thing. I know theres a self, and things under the surface, and so on that make me latch on to Kos and her hamlet and so on... i know shes been kept at the forefront of my mind - or at least on the back burner - because I have to get back to and into developing what exactly it is in me and around me that resonates through her face as a mask of mine. So when I talk needing to fulfil things... Im not trying to be Kos, Kos has just been used as symbolism and a face for parts of myself I havent brought to light yet

Theres a place in my mind that.. see, the both difficult and now much easier task of peeling the mask from the truth comes into play here, it was really hard before, now its hard to know how to speak on this. Theres a place I know intimately that knows me, that knows the sea, that has Mira rising from the depths, that... yeah. Lev's right about this leading outside of English and on-plane languages too far to even try tying it back. Its not a place, is a place.

Either way. So Levs helping me get back into making "nymphs", I still havent come up with a name for them. Effectively: He described them as shed skin cells of aspects (aspects being, again by him, external selves/other bodies) which become little beings, like gametes whose other halves are the world... He kind of faltered with that last bit in the way of him acknowledging an inaccuracy he wasnt wording, the inaccuracy seemingly being better covered if I say "they're gametes, they dont have an other half, theyre held in the womb of reality" - they dont have consciousnesses of their own. The Mira are some, so are the... specific storm sirens I was drawn to - specific as in Im sure there's other spirits that fit that but certain sirens are a part of myself - and uh. probably the "manifested" Choir are too. Its an on/off switch for me, this is an art Im intimately familiar with outside this life - Lev again compares it to making gametes like puberty switches on reproduction, you can switch on this external "reproduction" - but i just havent wanted that to be switched on lmfao.

Ive also been needing to actually let go and allow energetic wellsprings to form in ANVD. Every time Ive been guided to push unchallenged, unmetered, undiluted springs of specific aspects - the Sun, Creation, Waters of Life(/part of Mother of All), etc - I have toned it back severely, added a thousand layers of webbing to slow whats brought in, only allowing whats... well. a pathetic amount of shit through. I know why im doing it lmfao I. yeah. anyway. but... this goddamn place thats supposed to be a spring of something...

This place. All the salt in ANVD - because for some reason I keep seeing supersaturated fluid and salt crystals everywhere - is partly leading back to this place. The (specific to this place) spring is tied to the "nymph" making in that I think the Mira are supposed to spring (haha pun unintended) from here, and - see. Im haunted. We're talking nymphs and I push out of my mind the relation between the slug women and Kos. We talk about a beach and a people that know me especially in unrestrained aquatic form and. its a little harder to ignore. we talk about the Mira springing up from somewhere specifically probably and hopefully fruitfully and. you see how this is getting harder to ignore

Its not even about the fiction, genuinely. its not to do with bloodborne, its. I brought up The Inevitable the other day lmfao. the fact that Ive been both chasing myself for years down a specific path and directly, without chasing, following that exact path like its in my blood. is. alright. it genuinely is alright. thats the scary part: im no longer scared of the self around the corner

Either way. I need to tie ANVD to energy wellsprings. lev very specifically said the spring in this place - wherever this place may be - is an aspect of mine undiscovered, as in... its not Sun, not Sky, not Day, not Madness, and its not my base energy, but its still a "body" - its an aspect, not a body - which. means. probably. that uh. that Mother of All and the Sun as the infinite energy wellspring of - its. its one of those moments where I look at my unincarnated selves and go oh yeah I am a version of you.

...... which. lmfao. my god. how many times do i have to say "if I fear it for no apparent reason tied to morals or genuine immediate danger its probably because I am it" why oh why I wonder have I been weirdly fearing and toning back these becoming a thing over there. anyway. well that tells me what I need to go do now

[witching-aradia]

Shadow Work

Hello my darlings, I know that a lot of you are curious about shadow work, what it is, and how to do it, so here is a guide that I wrote from my own experiences. I hope that it may shed some light into your questions, and shed some light on to yourself. Thank you, love and gratitude always to you all ✨

Your shadow self is like the subconscious, suppressed part of yourself. It is the part of you that isn’t in the light of your conscious ego awareness. It is also the part of you where emotions and reactions have their roots. Why you feel or react a certain way can be traced back to the subconscious. Shadow work is allowing yourself to feel, acknowledge, honour, and understand these emotions. It may be difficult to actively go through shadow work, as you have to allow yourself to feel and experience the emotions that make us behave the way we do.

The Universe (or what you believe in) wants us to grow, expand, and become whole – to bring the shadow self into the light of consciousness. This is done by bringing situations and people into our life that will bring out aspects of our shadow, to teach us lessons. When we do not learn the lessons divinely designed for us, that is when you notice that “new ”situations/people aren’t actually new to us, but have the same energetic pattern as those before, or you are caught in a loop with the same situation/person.

This repetition will occur until we have learnt our lesson. How do we do this?

You must allow yourself time to actually sit down with yourself and dive deeper. Do not push aside your thoughts, no matter how “taboo” they may feel to your consciousness. What is the source of your emotions? Was there something in your childhood that may have caused it? Was it an insecurity that you have of yourself? Is it a doubt? Keep on digging, why?

The goal of shadow work, through journaling, meditating, or whatever way resonates with you, is to bring attention and learn to love those aspects of yourself that may have been rejected, either by yourself, your environment, your society, etc.

//

A quick personal example of shadow work of my own is this: I met a person and for some reason I had the need to dislike her. I wanted to talk poorly of her, I wanted to gossip of her. This was all very “taboo” of my normal personality, as I actively try to practice love to everyone. I COULD have just swept it under the rug, ‘maybe I’m just not meant to like her’ ‘maybe all of this will pass over’ ‘maybe I’ll just ignore her and these negative feelings will go away’. But I didn’t. I sat down with myself and asked myself what it was that I didn’t like about her. What irked me? Why? And after nights of journaling about this and meditating, I had come to the realisation that this woman confidently embodied insecurities that I myself had, and wasn’t aware of having. Again, keep on asking why. Why did I have these insecurities? It was because of a certain social standard expected of me from the society my childhood was in.

//

Thank you for taking your time out to read this, I hope that if this message was meant for you, it will have found its way to you and resonate. Love and light, always.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Im curious as to why you hate Makoto for ripping of p3pfemc's looks but consent to Royal-chan for the same thing? ( I know you hate Makoto for a lot of other reasons, like her personality and such, but it seemed like you disliked her since prereveal/release?) If Royal chan ended up being a completely unrelated character to femc, will your opinion of her change ? (no hate really, i jst wanna know. \V/m )

It's no prob! In all honesty I didn't even think about this kind of question, but the answer came right away, so I guess time for a not so deep reflection.

So like full stop, if Poniko isn't connected to the FeMC and it's just Atlus messing with me, yeah I'mma be PISSED. Will I rip on her looks like no tomorrow? Maybe, depends on how it’s handled (like how bad they burn me, and even then I might wait for a spinoff cause they might go into the connection there rather than Royal). I think it's obvious I went harder on Makoto because I don't like her for other reasons, and so any small thing about her annoys me (tbh Yusuke's design annoys me too, but not as bad cause....I kinda just don’t care about him and who he’s copying as much, but I'll get to that in a bit)

Anyway I think we need some historical context, because I think it’s important. When Makoto (and Yusuke) where first shown......FeMC had been ignored for A LONG time. We had a non-canon play (which no one really talked about), and that was it. No game related stuff, not even featured in the game where people were getting ripped out of timelines. FeMC were BURNED. I’ll be honest, when Yusuke appeared......While the parallels between P2 were obvious (not just with him) he reminded me of Minato as well. It annoyed me we had to have the token blue hair character since the rule had been made since the P3 era (kinda enforced with some black haired characters from P1/2, combining P2 games together that is, if you want to include them), Atlus said they’d be trying new things..... but like....whateves. But my association with him as Minato increased....when Makoto came along. 

Ngl I wasn’t pleased with the reveal of the last three girls (even didn’t like Haru, for ironically now what I love as an alt rewrite for her as, as I thought she’d be a mean and person full of herself due to calling herself ‘beauty thief’....Yeah all types of crazy here, I do love sweet Haru tho. And the reason for my opinion changing on the alt non-canon personality rewrite is just I.....see the appeal in it for the group dynamic now, while at the time I was afraid of disliking any of the characters or having them be disliked by the fandom.....which big laugh now haha :’D .....I want my happy P5 self back ;w;). Anyway back to the three girls, ngl one of the reasons I wasn’t happy was how they just dumped 3 more characters on us (too big a cast so can they handle it?, silly has to do more VA videos, I want the smaller cast back oh god don’t screw this up, and so on and so on). As for the characters, while Haru’s appearance in the trailer mislead me on her personality (for whatever reason)..... I just.....there was something about Futaba and Makoto I didn’t like. Futaba just rubs me all the wrong ways for reasons I can’t describe for back then (maybe the fact she looked like she’d be a troll and she kinda is), but Makoto it was clear...... She was ripping off FeMC’s look. The brown hair and red eyes.....the fact that Yusuke looked like Minato.....it felt like they were trying to draw them as expies of the P3MCs. And it pissed me off. I didn’t want an unrelated character look and remind me of the FeMC, I wanted FeMC herself! Why are you stealing her look????? And while some FeMC saw this and rolled with it as a joke (Hamu/Minty/Shin dressing up as Makoto/Yusuke/Goro to get into P5), other’s didn’t know who the FeMC was and thus.....didn’t see the blatant expy/rip off design. Seeing people be like “her character design is so original and cute and blah blah blah”.....it annoyed me....obviously (it didn’t help she grew in popularity doing absolutely nothing too, so initially it was all about her looks, and then I’ve been told a lot of her fans, at least male, has been mostly them saying the like her design and her hair and her eyes, and no everyone who likes Makoto is an FeMC fan so....yeah.....I mostly hear how it’s just about her design so I’m very focused on that in regards to her specifically BECAUSE of the fans). And yeah I know it was a bit petty/shallow reason, but I didn’t outright hate her atm, she was stepping on my toes badly but I was holding out till the game (where it finally cemented my hate for her, and now I legit hate her for petty, shallow, deep, and complex reasons). And lordy lord lord, it did not help Makoto’s name was Makoto, because that was a name some FeMC fans gave Hamuko (cause Makoto Yuki was the closest ‘canon’ name we’d get to P3MCs, and some people adopted it for both MCs cause it was gender neutral, so Niijima coming along and taking THAT away sucked ass, and I know different kanji, it still sucked tho). It just....felt like Atlus was spitting in FeMC fan’s face..... But anyway, I kept it in....for about....2ish years. Even when I was trying to stay positive.......and even when I was slowly starting to come out with negative opinions. I tried to keep it in. 

Finally I decided to make it framed as a joke, because I started to see Makoto ripping off more characters than just FeMC (FeMC, Aika, and Naoto in the detective novel to be precise, but what got the ball rolling was realizing that it was Aika who Makoto ripped the hair and motor vehicle from with the FeMC’s color scheme). That’s where my brain started going other places than just being restricted to FeMC, and I started being more critical of Makoto’s design outside the FeMC (tho that still burned me). Because, imo, it’s not original, it annoyed me people would say she was original when she was really just a Frankenstein rip off of other characters (other loved characters, FeMC and Aika were pretty popular in their own right). It only continued to cement in my mind that....anything ‘original’ about Makoto was a farce, she just copies while the original gets left behind.

Tldr; FeMC had been snubbed for years, along comes two design expies that remind you of P3MCs (3 if you wanna include Goro/Ken but Goro looks different enough imo), Makoto is named Makoto (a name some used for FeMC), and Makoto is praised for her design for being original and blah blah blah when it’s not (for multiple reasons besides the FeMC, kinda more the fans reactions fault but I was already having design issues so it just bugged me more when they’d say these things). So yeah it felt like Makoto stole aspects of the FeMC, and it’s not like FeMC has a lot for herself, which really just stepped on my toes. Combined that with legit hating the character when I finally get to see her in action (and it’s because of her actions and writing that I hate-hate the character, but prior to that it was just her stepping on my toes while trying to keep an open mind into liking her), the stuff said before gets amplified more than before.

But months later, after the first post of me ripping on Makoto for taking FeMC and Aika’s design (tho my later posts were in drafts I just didn’t post them till later), something amazing happened on Aug 4th. FeMC finally came back to us. And holy shit obviously I was happy, but it doesn’t dismiss the fact I was aware of how much of design rip off/expy Makoto was, and it wasn’t just FeMC anymore. But gdi if the fact that the FeMC wasn’t being ignored anymore didn’t change the outlook for me as an FeMC fan. FeMC was back, she’s loved, care was put into her character in PQ2, just.....skdfalf;a so happy ;w; But also so hopeful, she was acknowledged again, she had been cut from the 20th anniversary event in official art, and that hurt us, but now she’s back back. And she was a main character in PQ2.....which leads to you questioning, what next? 

Which brings us to Poniko, the one post hopeful outlook. Obviously she’s not starting in the same place as Makoto. Poniko has been revealed post-PQ2 FeMC....which means Atlus isn’t ignoring Hamuko (in fact a lot of the creators were stating they WANTED her back), we know the creators do love Hamuko. There’s also the fact.....Poniko looks less like an expy like Makoto (who imo looks like Soejima trying to emulate Kaneko’s art style, esp the eye shape, same with Yusuke too). Poniko? It goes beyond ripping off a design, she looks like she’s almost fully lifted from Hamuko, it just looks like Hamuko wearing a different outfit. Just straight up copy and paste. And would I have been pissed if she was revealed alongside Makoto? Maybe, or I might be theorizing that she is Hamuko herself like now (tho I think it’d get more push back due to Hamu being in Atlus’ basement for so long so it just being claimed as delusional and unlikely), or both (and then pissed when it’s revealed it’s not Hamuko). It’s just....she looks SO MUCH like Hamuko it can’t be a coincidence, and after PQ2 it feels less like one as well. Just.....the posture, the cinematic parallels, the hair color, the eye color, the eye shape, the eyelashes, the face structure, the way she stands.....Poniko just screams “I AM Hamuko” not “I just look like her because.” And it helps that other people in the fandom also see this too, some are hoping she’s a new person, but it seems people at least acknowledge that very obvious similarities between Hamuko and Poniko (while that didn’t really happen with P5 with Hamuko/Makoto). 

And....tbh I feel like I might sound like I’m splitting hairs (at least with the words I’m using). And it might sound weird that I think Makoto ripped off enough Hamuko it pissed me off, but Poniko just.....is a copy and paste of Hamuko, just straight up Hamuko in a different outfit and hairstyle but it doesn’t. But it’s the historical context I think that sheds that light. And the fact Poniko might just BE Hamuko, and so it’d make sense if that was the case for them to look like each other (while it doesn’t make sense for Makoto to look like Poniko). 

I guess it also helps that I personally had the headcanon Hamuko and Minato weren’t related (just strangers on the bridge in two separate cars), and they both survived the bridge accident but one became the leader of SEES and the other went on to live and do their own thing (until maybe a spinoff game pulls them back in). And while I.....well recalling it now I considered a reincarnation once in a hc scenario (opted for time travel forward cause that makes sense 8U I won’t go into it I had my reasons 8U), but looking at the 1st year symbol on Poniko (and reincarnation in other MegaTen works, I mean c’mon reincarnation is in the title) it feels plausible. And it works for Poniko because of the time the incident and the time to be reincarnated takes place (1999 being the accident and April 1 2000-April 2 2001 being the time frame she was born), which wouldn’t ever work for Makoto because she was born in 1998 (so even if I HAD considered Makoto it wouldn’t have worked, esp since they never tell us she jumped grades, it’s not possible....and while I’m all for hc and grey areas, this is something that WOULD be explicitly told because it’s not common in Japan and Atlus has been explicit about characters not in the ‘right’ grades before, just an fyi there 8U). 

I dunno I feel like there’s distinct clear reasons that I can fit them into separate categories. And yeah if Poniko isn’t Hamuko I’mma be burned too, BUT I’mma wait till a spinoff post-Royal before I get pissy.....cause I don’t expect clear answers to other past games in another game’s mainline entry (I only expect shallow shoutouts tbh). So yeah, just so you know where the deadline for my expectations are. 

[insidiousflame]

My Spirituality

 So I consider myself to be a very open-minded person when it comes to spirituality. I didn’t always used to be because I grew up christian. And as a result, I was taught to believe in that religion absolutley 100% with no grey areas in between. But of course as a person grows older, they start to question things and branch off into other ways of thinking and morals. For example, I used to be very against gay marriage because I was ignorant, and only knew the bible said it was wrong. But as my knowledge matured about the world and my own faith, I realized how out-dated that way of thinking was. My personal experiences and relationship with God, gave me an abundance of love and wisdom about life. And I had to decipher within my self what to believe, versus what other PEOPLE told me to believe. Along with of course, the many inconsistencies within the text of the bible itself, whole big conundrum i wont get into. It was a tremendous struggle because i always just trusted what other people, especially my parents, told me was right or wrong and that was it. So instead of just going along with a written text, i focused more on what felt right with me and my own heart. And let me tell you it feels so much better. So i still do consider myself a christian today. But theres some magical, controversial bits in between that I’m about to shed light on now.    I have a big interest in the supernatural. Like, not just with the knowledge about angels and demons, but things from the common mythical creatures to straight up chakra and psychic and witchy aspects of it. Magic basically. I have always, from the ripe young age of an elementary schooler, been curious about witchcraft and things associated. The only reason i was introduced to it at such a young age was because I had a friend way back then who was apparently a witch. All I remember was her having this book on witchcraft and wanting to do some spells with me. And i was like “oh that sounds cool!” But somewhere in the mix the parents found out and i pretty much wasnt able to hang around her much anymore. And that was the end of that until a bit later. I wanna say I started learning more about that magical stuff again in highschool. I would end up watching supernatural shows on youtube or researching stuff about tarot cards and crystals etc and I was just so drawn to it. And I again, came into contact with a friend who practiced all that cool stuff and he opened me back up to it with his own tarot which he actually let me borrow at one point. And oh boy was I excited. This stuff...was crazy. It felt like my soul was just passionate with this curious fire. Now there was also this side of me who felt like i was doing something bad because of what I was raised to believe. Basically, if it aint of God, its of the devil. And the devil was gonna try and suck me into this evil stuff. And although i had this excitement, I had a feeling, as I kept working with the cards over and over, that they were telling me to stay away from them. The cards were telling me. Or whatever divine influence around me was. I mean, my parents found out about them eventually and of course gave me the whole “its demonic” schpeal. But i got my own warning signs i started to notice. And this will probably sound really crazy. But honestly....all this stuff is crazy. But still happened mind you. See, the tarot cards consist of what is called Major Arcana, which is your well known cards like “The Devil, The Wheel of Fortune, High Priestess” titles like that. And the Minor Arcana, which contain the suits, “Swords, wands, pentacles, cups” listed Ace through King with numbers of course in between. I kept drawing, The Devil. I kept drawing cards with the number 6 on it. So Immedietley I had the thought of, “Okay. Something is telling me I shouldnt be using these.” So I eventually gave them back to the friend and didnt mess with them again until much later. But of course my curiousity didnt end there. Bitch please. To speed things along, I ended up buying and destroying a couple of decks until I finally reached a spiritual point where I understood the responsibility that was needed to use them. Through those years I spent a loooot of time researching about witch craft, wicca, paganism and all the metaphysical and divination practices of the like. I researched about what the bible said about them and also the concrete history of witchery and the differences of the different terms associated with them. And then I discovered.....holy shit. This shit isn’t this big bad evil that everyone makes it out to be. It’s actually.....very beautiful and artistic and expressive. And I think the mystery and aesthetic and magical aspects of those things is what really drew me in in the first place. Now don’t get me wrong, magic can MOST CERTAINLY be used for evil. It can most certainly hurt you and others whether you believe in it or not. And I think that’s why my spiritual guides, or whatever was happening back then, steered me away from it. Because I wasn’t mature enough to know how to use those tools safely and without getting carried away. Because now i have absolutley no problem using these tools for guidance. Cause I dont abuse them. Because these beautiful practices resonated so much with me, i started to want to incorporate them more in my life in now a more respectful and wise manner. And it was really, enriching for my soul and my view on life. It brought me so much happiness and appreciation for the mystery life has. And I’ve been able to find a comfortable balance with my beliefs. And here is where I’m at today. I am still a believer in the christian God. But I also enjoy incorporating symbolic and ritualistic crafts from the magical culture into my worship. So in other words, i could put myself in the category into an eclectic witch. Eclectic Witches create their own personal practices and belief or religious systems by re-creating or borrowing knowledge and practices from other beliefs, practices, etc.  So they basically see something they like about another’s belief or practice and say “oh i like that, that feels right with me, im going to incorporate that into my spirituality as well.” Which is what im doing. lol Theres a LOT that needs explaining with that because it is so easy for people to get confused and assume things which is why this topic is so difficult to talk about because it goes back into all that history and research. I had to make a whole educational documentation for my parents so they could understand why i like these things, why they arent as evil as they believe and so on. It is very frustrating when you feel like you need to justify yourself to others about what you believe. And i think my experience with spirituality has really opened me up to other’s beliefs and being a whole lot more less judgmental and more accepting and loving of people in general. So in essence, all I’m doing, is a new form of ritual. When I use my cards, i am specific to say I only wish for the guidance from God and his Angels. And everything that he wishes me to know, will be by his will only with no interference of another force or entity. I always make sure to protect myself from the negative energies. I rarely do spells nowadays, but when I do, it is only of a means of feeling like I am doing more than just....talking about it. It makes me feel a little more in control and I again, make sure my intentions are clear with what energies I am working with and I mean no disrespect to God in the works I do and it is only for creative expression and ritual dedicated to him and no one else. And that feels right with me. I didn’t go into much, but crystal healing is another thing I love, although I dont believe in 100% because I’m just always keeping an open mind and completley understand a skeptic’s point of view. But nonetheless I have had my own share of positive experiences with it and do still enjoy working with them from time to time. That’s about all I’ll go into.  And just for your convenience, I will actually link the documents of some of the basic research and explanation on my practices and beliefs in the description if youre curious. The actual couple of fun pages I gave to my parents so hopefully i dont have to explain myself further. lol I would love to touch up on some more spiritual/paranormal stuff at later dates. Have a beautiful day. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cB0avtCEEyoA_-CZKh5OWCz56qXVqoSJu6MLsZtAYIo/edit

[unparalleled-mind]

you mentioned before that you have really bad social anxiety (i do too) but im not even sure where mine stems from ?? i just get super antsy, do you have any advice or like reasoning for it ? if thats not too personal to share

It’s cool, I’m pretty much an open book, both online and offline, so I don’t mind sharing! My social anxiety honestly stems from years of enduring others’ depreciative attitude towards my words and allowing the history between I and those people to make me feel like I owed them something - that being my time, energy, relationships. I was that stereotypically quiet girl, always participated in class, got straight A’s, student body president, few great friends surrounding me. The issue was, I treated acquaintances like friends, people who never deserved to get that close to me and my heart. Not to suck my own dick or anything, but practicing self-love has taught me that I am such a privilege. It is a privilege to know me. Not many people my age bring to the table what I do, I know that, I recognize my worth. But back then, I allowed those people to tell me things like “you talk too much, no one cares” or straight up cut me off mid-sentence, little things like that snowballed into my current fear of even participating in a conversation with my best friends (and these are people who love me and value what I say) because I always have the thought in mind that I should be apologizing for voicing my feelings and notions. In retrospect, I know that’s bullshit, I have a great head on my shoulders and I’m very self-aware. I love bringing substance to conversations. I just have the behavior to hesitate ingrained in me, so I am always anxious towards many aspects all at once - will I articulate myself the way I want to? will they misunderstand my words? how do I hold back so I don’t offend anyone? what if I mess up what I want to say? how can I say enough without talking too much? do they find me boring? do they feel like I think I’m too smart for them? do they care about what I have to say? how will they react? how can I bring light to a subject without making them feel like I’m patronising their ignorance of the matter? - so yeah, my biggest downfall will always be literally over-thinking myself into depressive states and it’s something I’m trying my best to overcome. It’s difficult, pair that overwhelming anxiety with mild depressive bursts and it’s some real, tough, shit. But I will tell you, my growth just in the past 2 years is something I hold dear to my heart. I am so proud of the person I am becoming. Slowly but surely, I’m fighting these demons a little harder each time, and they never give way for long, but I keep pushing. It’s all about perspective. You take the good, there will be bad. But does the good outweigh the bad? I’d say, as rough as last year was, I am grateful for the life I live and the clarity I am experiencing. I found that faith, and not just religious faith, but faith in my path and in myself, has shed light on my perspective towards handling hardships. It sounds cliché, but do remember to breathe. Panic attacks are common for me - sit down, focus on looking at one thing, find a good habit to pick up, breathe. Be mindful of your surroundings, isolate yourself into a safe space, bring yourself some ease by entering a creative space. Anything that makes you happy, even if you suck at it. All this to say, practice self-awareness, and you will persevere. Be attentive to your needs. It will feel so great to look back on your former self and no longer even relate to that person. Focus on YOUR path, YOUR wellbeing, YOUR process. It’s a powerful thing to realize that you are also someone you love.