#and im here like 'if i reject him or act cold will it affect how quick my lock gets fixed and if i can access my house?' I HATE THIS WORLD

[hella1975]

day so bad u go hmm what if i watched brother bear

[enneamage]

so idfk critblr ask etiquette because i dont go here also i was supposed to have left the fandom a year ago but what can you do, right. i'll just throw my shit at you like a monkey and hope something sticks???

my interest is billzo, esp how endlessly trauma informed all of his actions are, ever. I watched his recent video about his expirience with disassociation and content creation and all that. Have you watched that? Do you have opinions? I have opinions. I am not gonna type them all out because rambling that much in a random ask would probably be rude (?). But still, anything on Billzo would be neat my brain is in overdrive figuring him out.

One thing i find interesting about him is how much and how well he lies. Like he does it for fun all the time, to the point where i almost want to pathologize it (mans having a bit too much fun with it ಠಿ⁠_⁠ಠ). Also normally i am very good at telling when people are lying but he catches me off guard regularly... And im kinda of stuck between putting the lying into his trauma informed actions or just calling him a Pathological Liar (which seems harsh). Also VERY possible some of the stories other anons said he has told on stream are bs, just saying.

Another thing is this (trauma response?) he does where he wants to say something, believes it would be offensive to his fans or people around him. Then, he does this weird thing where he gets pissed at shutting himself up, gets defensive over something he hasn't even said yet, decides offense is the best defense, and usually it comes as the original thing that he wanted to say, but defensively and rude-ish. He does it multiple times in the misfits "do all streamers think the same" video, if anyone is interested. Its SUCH a weird behaviour and i want to dissect his brain like a frog (Joke). I dont know a lot about that number wizardry you do, but yeah anything is aprechiated at this point (i am desperate)

physically have to stop my rambling here or i will look even more insane. Goodbye

Hello and goodbye anon we love the transparency.  

He seemed fairly normal in the video you mentioned, but I do broadly get what you mean by playing the defensive-offensive; the way that Bill’s people-pleaser traits can get run through an aggressive filter is fascinating. It’s hard to be edgy while also staying on peoples good sides, but he’s compelled to do both, and it seems to make him act strange sometimes. I’ve seen behavior like that a few times before, it’s like witnessing a negotiation where one person is really pushing for their side, with repressed anxiety feeding the pseudo-agression. I would put it somewhere between angling for his input to be given a chance (helper streak comes out strange for him sometimes) and unconscious worry around rejection. The video mostly seemed like him being mindful of not pissing off The Mob, though, which is a skill that most public figures need to master in some way.

Technically lying due to trauma could fall under the “Pathological liar” umbrella because it would have that deep psych component, but I haven’t seen enough to make that call. (Edit: I got cold feet on this line since sources were mixed, it's just not something that people get diagnosed with outside a bigger condition so it's an umbrella term.) I also haven’t seen enough / caught on to enough of these moments to spot if there’s a pattern in what he says and when he says it, but that’s something to keep an eye out for. Is there generally an effect/emotion that he’s looking to create, or is it the simple fun of fooling people? Who does he lie to the most? He might just be a trickster, but these things are sometimes layered. (Things I would keep a special eye out for is lying to make others more sympathetic to him, that can sometimes be a form of asking for help without having to ask or risking rejection in unhealthy Twos.)

The dissociation is interesting because on one hand Bill suffered with it uniquely in the way that it affected him, but it could be both his psyche and the situation together. It wouldn’t surprise me if more cases of people blowing up quick going forward had that feeling of unreality, where the sudden lack of adjustment period knocks people off balance and they don’t have the time to steady themselves again. It’s common to hear “It was an out of body experience, it didn’t feel real” in kind of a passing way when people talk about big changes, but if you think about it those are dissociative concepts, people not integrating the new reality fully. If he was already predisposed to dissociation, it might have thrown gas on the fire for him.

I feel like I come off as harsh on Bill because of the ways he usually comes up in conversation, but I think a lot of people share the sentiment of not only liking him but wanting to like him. I'm hoping that he'll be able to get his feet underneath him in the new year because I do want him to do well.

[deleteddewewted]

Incel!Shinsou Oneshot: "Why are you acting like that?”

To keep busy I just thought that a oneshot of Shinsou getting self conscious/needy would be cute since we already have his redemption arc rolling in. The next part of the Incel!Shinsou series (Part 3) will have him proving his worth at the Sports Festival. So in thinking of how he will prove himself to you I thought of how will all of those people affect him, especially you. ( This oneshot takes place pre changes, so Shinsou is still his disgusting self but he's figuring out how to woo a woman, especially of your caliber.)

Incel!Shinsou Series:

Part 1: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader

Part 2: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader

Incel!Shinsou Headcanons

"I know what you're doin' here. Made your intentions clear. Oh you, you terrible thing, you. Terrible thing, you. Terrible thing, you. Beautiful thing"

TW: Strong Language, Mild Sexism

People were never an obstacle when it came to the things Shinsou wanted. He’s aware that others would do anything for him if he played his cards right. The right words with the right question did wonders for him. So why the fuck couldn’t he have what he wanted when it came to you? You drove him up the wall with the kindness you showed him. He didn’t deserve it and you’re existence almost felt like a punishment from whatever deity that existed out there to make him suffer. You guys were suppose to be studying for your upcoming project that required a poster, a slide show, and one influential person that would help prove your projects point. You left him running circles within his own mind as to how you were so willing to challenge him. He wanted you to obey him not see through his bullshit. It wasn’t like you didn’t listen to him vent, or didn't give him attention, but he wanted to hold you under his control. To be the person you listened to.

In class you where both seated on the extreme ends of the room on opposite sides. You never realized this (you do), but his head would periodically turn towards your direction to look at you, to figure you out (liar). This time, you managed to catch him do it.

“What are you doing?” You asked plainly. You honestly didn’t care that he was staring, everyone does when you dress like you're attending an MCR concert in the middle of autumn.

“You look different....today.”

“Nice.” It was difficult to care. Shinsou was just some guy in your class that you had to deal with. Nothing special really....ok, maybe it wasn’t fully true. You didn’t really know him all that well or anything (Unless it was mocking and belittling everything you did, that was normal behavior for him so it wasn’t surprising to find out he was like that outside of campus.) but he wasn’t all that bad? If he cared for himself a bit more, hygiene wise he would be considered handsome or at least a competent human being (you weren't going to call him a man, men don't act this childish. At least the ones you knew.) Maybe then you would take his opinion seriously, but for now you’ll ignore his...interesting comments he's been throwing towards you today.

“It’s rude to ignore someone when their talking to you, you know?” The neutral face he had now possessed a frown and a furrow to his brows. You still couldn’t process how he took the time to make sure his hair stayed purple but didn’t care for his body odor. (This man dyes his hair purple yet cant bother to shower or use deodorant for once in his life.)

“I’m not ignoring you, I’m just not interested in anything you have to say.” With that you get up and take your things and leave. There was no point in wasting time on someone who couldn’t even look at you directly and had to also sneak glances at you. "Do I really look that unbearable?" you thought to yourself. In the end you didn’t care anymore, everyone was entitled to an opinion and the last thing you need is feeling self conscious because of your out of place classmate.

Shinsou was fuming. How the fuck did you just get up and leave his ass while he was trying to complement you. You should have been more appreciative that he was giving you his attention for once. A bitch like you wasn't even worth it so he doesn't understand why he even tried with you.

He never goes directly home after school but instead to the local theater. It was one of the few places where he could be around others and could genuinely be himself. It was weird, he didn't feel like himself when he was speaking with his "friends", friends that he's never spoken to verbally, never seen, and never would meet. He knew that he didn't deserve this, to have a safe haven when he acts like an ass, yet here he was.

"Good morning Shinsou! How are you? Are you ready for rehearsals? You did remember to read your lines, right?" Shinsou rolls his eyes at his theater mates antics. Monoma never seems to stop but he does know when to tone it down and when it comes to Shinsou he tones it down a bit. (Because Monoma is canonically considerate of others, look back the Sports Festival and the Joint Training Arc.)

"Im good man, yes i did read and memorized the script, dont worry about it." What an odd friendship, the most chaotic gentleman like man out the bunch with the quietist incel in the group. Shinsou should have seen it coming when he was adopted by Monoma but he's running on 2 to 4 hours of sleep so he doesn't really care.

Believe it or not Shinsou does take showers (only for theater) but very quickly and with no care (no shampoo or soap, fucking why man.) Theater means more to him and so making his character look the best they possible can was his first and foremost priority. He puts on his costume, gets to makeup (the minimum, because it's "gay" for him to wear makeup and since the world is unfair and cruel he has perfect skin for a greasy headed asshole.)

"Everyone get a move on! Kodai, Tsuburaba, and Awase! Go to stage left! Light techs, how's it up there?" One of the tech heads shouted out. Shinsou and Monoma got to their positions on the stage and the rehearsals began.

Love, the play was about love. Love that wasn't rejected but also not accepted. He didn't understand the concept fully. Was it romantic? Platonic? Familiar? Admiration? He loved his dad, but he mostly admired him. He worked long hours and middle resents him for not being there for him, yet he realizes that his dad works to give him the world, a home with all the things he wanted. He never had a mother so he never had parental or familiar, again his dad was there but he wanted a parent that would hold him when he came back from school everyday. He didn't have a girlfriend, so he doesn't know romantic. So far all of his characters where villains, or evil in some way. He was starting to get sick of them. Shinsou wanted something more, wanted to play a character that wasn't how everyone saw him as on his day to day life. He wanted a challenge, he wanted....affection. Just to show it. He wanted attraction. Just to abuse it. He wanted...love. To just...maybe...feel...enjoy...understand it.

"You terrible thing you. My love, you're so cold. You've left me hanging on every one of your words. You've made me loose my self, lose my self-control because of you!" He pours everything into his performance, his loneliness, his regrets, his experience. He's been told by his co-performers and directors that he has a great future in the arts, in theater. If he just took care of himself more he would be an amazing actor, not only incredibly talented but also attractive. He would have the world kneeling, bowing to him just from his words alone. He could have anything he wanted just because of his existence.

" You've made me do things i don't want to do...for you." Kodai stands there looking horrified. He's covered in blood, the blood of her lover, the one she left him for.

"No, i-i didn't-"

"YOU MADE ME-MADE DO THIS FOR YOU! You terrible, terrible, terrible thing! You beautiful thing, I've done this for you!...and you still cant and won't love me." He doesn't see Kodai anymore. It's not her face he sees, nor her voice that he hears.

Its you...its your voice. You. You looking back at him while he slowly lowered himself to kneel and crawl towards you. It's you who backs away from him as he starts to cry and hiccup.

"You wreck me, you made me. You leave me in your wake, please let me go!" He sees you and feels you grabbing his wrists back, pushing him into himself.

"Don't you ever let me go...."

You terrible beautiful thing, you.

And here we are again. This was a lot fun to write since it feels more concrete when it comes towards his personality and his full thought process. In many cases people like Shinsou just want attention or some sense of validation, which there is nothing wrong with wanting those things but it's more about the manner you go about it. You shouldn't pressure or force others to spend time with you, but there is always someone out there that will like to give you those things.

Tag list: @blossominglark

[lunarmessenger]

hi!! i wonder if i could request a one shot angst with saeyoung. so mc have a huge anxiety and she always closed up everything even after she's with saeyoung. one day when saeyoung snapped at her out of stress, she end up missing for like around two weeks without any traces even saeran cant help saeyoung to find her

after searching for the whole times they end up finding out that mc got in accident and still in the hospital because her injuries was so bad and actually someone from rfa (u can choose who) try to hide this from saeyoung because mc told them everything

i know its quite hard im sorry 😭

ohohohoho anon you give me too much power for requesting an angsty prompt. i hope you enjoy, thank you so much for this request! I will have to split it into quite a few parts because otherwise...it’ll be much too long haha ^^;; - luna xx

p.s. sorry requests are taking so long!! the holidays have been insane, but i promise after christmas and new years i’ll go back to posting regularly!

warnings: graphic depictions of major injuries, mentions of hospitals, and mentions of mental illness.

word count: 1.9k

(pt. 2) (pt. 3) (pt. 4)

Hard Regrets (Pt. 1) - 707 x MC

Her nimble fingers switched on the heater as a cold chill ran through the house, hands reaching up to the small blanket she’d thrown over her shoulders. The soft patters of rain thumped against the roof of the apartment, the only sound competing with the rain being the soft clicks coming from Saeyoung’s computer and the flicker of paper as Saeran read through one of his many books.

She smiled fondly as Saeran’s eyes danced across each page, filling his mind with the story as he burrowed deeper into the couch. That smile faded as her eyes slowly switched to his brother, her boyfriend, the man hunched roughly over his desk as he typed furiously. Empty cans of soda and crinkled bags of honey buddha chips littered both his desk and his floor, causing her to sigh as she walked over to help clean up.

This project had ended up being one of his longer ones, tomorrow making it about two months since he was assigned the task by Jumin. She was used to seeing Jumin overwork Jaehee, but now that it was affecting Saeyoung the way it was...it made her anxious. Of course his exhaustion worried her, but he became much more irritable when he became fixated on an important project.

Within the past month he’d grown incredibly distant so that he wouldn’t have any sort of distractions, and that meant that she didn’t get to spend time with him as often as she wanted to. The last time she’d reached out to him he had glared at her, telling her that while yes, he loves you, he needed to finish this project.

“No distractions, MC.” She whispered softly under her breath, a reminder he himself had given her the last time she interrupted. All she’d wanted from him was a hug. She slowly approached, bare feet softly tapping against the wooden floors as she made her way over. She was a couple of feet away from him, stopping as she hesitated. Maybe coming up with some sort of excuse would help guide him away from his computer? It wouldn’t be seen as a distraction since it wasn’t selfish; more like a welfare check?

“Are you boys up for some tea?” Saeyoung didn’t move an inch, mumbling a rough no as he continued to type and click across the screen. She visibly deflated, the bags under her eyes from lack of sleep growing heavier from his rejection. He hadn’t even been sleeping in their bed lately; he would sleep right there, on that god damned desk of his. She was snapped out of her rejection at the sound of the couch cushions moving; Saeran gave a small smile as he book marked his page, placing the book on the coffee table as he stood.

“I would love some, MC. In fact, I’ll help you make it. Come on...” The soft tone of his voice was a nice contrast in comparison to the rough rudeness of Saeyoung, the weight on her chest slightly lifting as she walked with him into the kitchen. Saeran grabbed the tea leaves while MC weakly grabbed three glass mugs; despite Saeyoung saying he didn’t want any. She readied the kettle, pressing the on button and watching as the blue light illuminated the dim kitchen and the water slowly started to come to a boil.

“MC...I’m sorry that Saeyoung is...the way he is.” The sudden apology from Saeran made her eyes widen as she turned to look at him, parts of her long hair falling into her face as she cleared her throat.

“What? Oh, no I mean...I guess...” She tried to think of an excuse for him, tried to come up with reasons on why it didn’t bother her that he got so invested that he not only forgot about her and Saeran, but forgot to take care of himself. Her eyes grew hot with tears for a split second as she shook her head.

“I just, I don’t know what to do. I can’t be honest with him about anything, because the last time I tried he...” She started to visibly shake, the only thing keeping her together being the sudden tap of the kettle signaling the water was ready. When she’d interrupted him before he almost flipped the chair because he was so angry; her distraction had caused him to mistype due to ruining his focus; according to him.

The only people who knew how he was making her feel was Saeran and Zen; the thought of the two men’s kindness towards her when Saeyoung was the way he was when he was writing made a soft smile grace her exhausted face once again. Though she hated to admit it, sometimes she wondered why she had not moved on to either Saeran or Zen. Both men would treat her the way she deserved, and she knew that, really she did.

But Saeyoung...she just loved him so much.

The way he was when they first met; how he had tried so hard to push her away and he just couldn’t. Because he didn’t want to. She didn’t want him to either, and she stayed because she knew that he loved her. Something in him changed, she can’t really remember when it happened; it just did. When he got a new project it was like MC didn’t exist; and he acted like he didn’t treat her that way when it was finished. No matter how much she hated it, no matter how much it made her cry; she just couldn’t leave.

All because she loved him.

“MC...? Should we take these to the couch? Maybe I can read you a couple of chapters?” She was snapped back to attention by Saeran, giving a slight nod as he took two mugs and she carried the last one. The sweet smell of honey and chamomile filled her nose as she slowly walked over to Saeyoung’s desk, his body still in the same position she had left him.

“Saeyoung...” Her voice was soft as she tried not to startle him, her anxiety slowly building with the tension as Saeran noticed what she was doing.

“Wait, MC; maybe we should just leave the tea over here?” She paused furrowing her brows as she tilted her head and slightly turned towards him.

“Then how is he supposed to know we at least made him a cup?”

“MC—” She turned back around to continue walking when her foot caught on one of the empty cans, causing her to lose her balance as she let out a gasp.

“MC!” She tried to redirect the cup as it flew out of her hands, the hot tea splattering all over Saeyoung’s desk and computer. Her heart sank in her stomach as Saeran was instantly at her side, Saeyoung leaping from the hot temperature and the sparks that flew around his desktop as he yelled.

“Are you...are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?!” His voice boomed throughout the apartment as he turned towards her, golden eyes filled with rage as he loomed over her. He was so angry that he hadn’t realized her hand was red from being burned; she’d managed to get most of the tea spilt on her in an attempt to salvage his tea. 

“Oh, MC...oh God you’re burned; we need to get you to a hospital.” Saeran helped her up but Saeyoung was quick to push them apart, getting in her face as he pointed at his desktop.

“Do you know how long it took me to figure that out, MC?! You’re so fucking lucky that I had a back up running at the same time because I swear to God...” His voice was low, teeth clenched and nose scrunched as he angrily glared at her. Saeran grabbed him by the hood, yanking him away from MC as she shook from his outburst. He has never physically grabbed her and yelled at her the way he just did.

She watched as the two brothers went head to head, noses almost touching as they screamed back and forth. It became too much for her as she got up, trying not to catch their attention as she slid on her shoes and slowly opened the door. The rain had started to come down harder, the wind howling as her loose bun instantly came undone and wildly blew her hair around her face.

She almost, almost second guessed her decision until the sound of glass breaking caught her attention, the mug of tea that was supposed to be hers now smashed in pieces by one of the walls. Saeyoung’s chest was heaving while Saeran got up from a squatted position; almost as if he’d dodged whatever Saeyoung threw.

 Those pieces mirrored her heart; that mug was one that Saeyoung had bought her when they had first started going out. A picture of a cat had been printed on it, the cat making a winking face as the phrase I meow you! cradled the toon cat. It was one of her many prized possessions, and he had smashed it like it meant nothing to him.

That finalized her decision.

“What, Saeran? Stay out of this!”

“Are you so damn selfish that you haven’t realized that your girlfriend has burned half of her body to try and save your desktop? We need to get her to a hospital! Now!” He quickly turned to where she was squatting down by the wall, pausing when he realized that she wasn’t there anymore.

“MC...?” Saeran’s brows furrowed as he walked down the hall, leaving Saeyoung to cool off as he looked back towards his computer. The monitor screens were black as the tea slowly seeped into his keyboard and monitors. The more anger that left his body the more he’d realized what he’d done, his body slowly going into shock as he stared at the broken mug on the ground. The pink heart was in pieces, the larger part covered in brown tea as Saeran’s voice slowly became white noise in the background.

What had he done?

This entire time he’d been an absolute shit to his girlfriend; the one person who had supported him from day one. He slowly shuffled over to the broken pieces, socks growing wet from the spilled tea as he picked up the pieces.

“What have I done...?”

“Saeyoung! Saeyoung she’s gone!” He slowly blinked, not even bothering to adjust his glasses and messy red hair in tussles as he put down the glass and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What?”

“She’s gone! Her phone is on the coffee table, and she didn’t take her bag! Saeyoung we have to find her; there’s a storm outside and she’s by herself!” Saeran was rushing to put on his coat and grab an umbrella, his boots clunking against the floors as he grabbed Saeyoung’s shoulders.

“Saeyoung, if you love her, you need to get off your ass now and help me find her. Now!” He slapped his dumbfounded brother, forcing him on to his feet and throwing a coat at him as he grabbed one of the many car keys hanging from the key shelf. Reality sank in as he threw on his sneakers, grabbing a beanie from the coat rack and tossing it on. He felt his stomach churn as his hand brushed against her coat and scarf, grabbing the scarf she always wore and wrapping it around his neck.

We have to find her, we have to find her.

I have to find her.

[minjeongthinker]

Jump Then Fall

(inspired by Jump The Fall by Taylor Swift obviously 😭)

warnings : none afaik >__<

genre : fluff !

word count : 2.4k

pairing : han jisung / oc (f)

ps . very messy bc i just wrote my thoughts ahead without sincerely thinking ++ hello Tumblr!

"Hey y/n!" you gasped in shock while docking over the countertop to prepare for your morning shift at the coffee shop you're currently working on when Jisung, the shop's owner's son, called your name in a deafening way while it's just almost 6 in the morning.

"Oh hey Ji what are you up to?" You tried so hard to hide the bubbly voice petrified that he'll notice that you're happy and jumping inside because he's actually here, in front of you.

Yup, you have unattended feelings for this man hiding inside your very heart although you don't bother talking it to him because you can't afford to lose the friendship you and him had built through the years. At least you're aware that he's not interested in you so you're convinced that this is better, that you're satisfied with him being your superman despite you two just being "besties".

"can't sleep... i think I'll just work with you on your shift then maybe we can sleep at my pad?" he played with his lips in a very cute way while he's clasping his fingers with each other signing that he's nervously not sure if you'll go with him 🤠 as if you two don't treat each other's apartment as their own too...

"oh poor baby, let's go then! my shift ends at 8:30 if that'll be okay with you?" he scooped your shoulder, wrapping both of his hands around your neck while he sniffes your hair as he happily jumps upon your approval.

"of course bub,, i got nervous at the thought that you're already tired of seeing my face.. let's go to work maybe?"

"alriiiight!!! ^____^" this time, you didn't hide the bubbly tune and smiled sweetly at him with his small gestures. He also smiled back at you, giggling and his gummies were showing so you hugged him absentmindedly while saying he's so cute to be him..

That was just a normal day between you two. Most of the time, you even thought the things you two are doing are lovers-like but you just shrug 'em thoughts off because you like it too so who are you to ask for more T^T

"Hey bubbles! Can I take the usual?" you looked up at the customer to know who just stated their order only to find Minho smirking and steadying his hands above the counter to see your face clearly. Minho is your blockmate and also your best friend, but you know the love you have for him will not exceed above platonic, very different when it comes to Jisung. Speaking of him, you both decided that he'll work on the coffees while you take the counter.

"Oh Minmin good day! Sure you can! what brings you here though? as far as i am concerned, you don't wanna walk through cafes just to have your coffee?" You talked to him while not looking back and punching whatever that needs to be punched on the counter.

"I just wanna look at you pretty, is it too much to ask?" You giggled, knowing how un- serious he was because you do know he's not the type to date and step things up with people he considered as family.

"Sure it's not Min, take a look all you want!" You moved your head from side to side while posing different angles to add light to the situation. You both laughed off until you hear a mini smash on the kitchen which makes you hush and run there aggressively, leaving Minho concerned in front of the counter.

"Jisung what the fuck was that?" You saw the kitchen perfectly fine, Jisung being sloppy with his movements, and a pan which looked like it was intentionally banged just to create a huge noise.

"Oh.. nothing, nothing.. sorry to disturb your flirting sesh y/n, you can now go back, it's perfectly fine here..." he didn't even bother to look at you, continued the coffee he was making, though his movements were still sloppy as it was when you entered the room. You got scared because he might be mad about you chitchatting while at work and even misunderstanding what you did with Minho earlier. "Uh.. first of all, i am not flirting,, and uhm second, i hope it's really fine here, yeah? I.. i'm so sorry.." you hated your voice for shaking at the last phrase so it made him look at you, now with worried eyes.

"It really is y/n, sorry..... uhm.. for the noise." Though the coldness, he still smiled at you reassuring you that it's really true this time. You can still see a glimpse of worry when he did a second look after getting his eyes off for the first time.

Him on the other hand felt extremely guilty when he saw your eyebrows meeting each other in a scared way, and your voice shaking made his heart break, as he never really saw and heard you like that while talking to him. He can't believe his jealousy made him do something petty that he knows he'll also regret later on.

You went back to the counter pouting and Minho was still there, distracting the customers behind him while waiting for you to arrive. He let out a deep breath when he saw you.

"Bub, i think your man is fucking jealous. Believe me this time, wanna bet?" he whisphered while you take other orders.

"Confess already y/n, he might— will act cold after this, talkin from experience.. and i too would leave a "so called bestie" that i like if she had found someone to love already.." he added.

"... including me?" you teased, though what he said had affected your senses because you know there isn't someone other than Jisung inside your heart.

"Shut up ma'am, i met you when you're already head over heels over jisung, and p.s, I don't want you, ew?" he teased as he feels the uneasiness after you going out from the kitchen.

"I think.. he's just plainly angry though, i'll talk to him later.. and.... try to confess.. you better be ready because i might crash to your apartment when things just get worse."

"Gotchu y/n! i better download movies so i can fix thy heart by then, just text me okai?"

Jisung overheard Minho's last sentence so he himself brought the coffee to him while glaring at him. "Thank you, Please go now!" He told Minho, almost pushing him outside.

Minho then grinned and winked at you before closing the cafe's door. Jisung didn't even look at you as he straight up returned to the kitchen.

It's 8:30 am and the workers for the next shift have arrived already, so you and Jisung are now on the locker room, folding both of your aprons as well as your caps. At this point, you aren't really sure if your sleepover would still push through considering his attitude towards you earlier.

You were suprised when he hang his hand on the air, waiting for yours to interwine when you had finished cleaning already, you didn't even notice him waiting for you as you are clouded with negative thoughts.

You grabbed his hand and you both walked to his car while nobody is still speaking.

"Ji.. uhm i need to... tell you something later." You finally broke the silent conversation you have been going through while you were arranging your seatbelt.

His eyes dropped and did a blink that shows his regret and a bit of weariness, he thinks he already know what you need to tell him. He then reached to your side as he memorized that you still don't know how to buckle your seatbelt when you're on the front seat.

"Sure thing y/n, be 100% comfy telling me things because i will always root for whatever that'll... make you happy." He smiled at you, wearily, and patted your head; you wondered why he's suddenly being nice and sad at the same time after the commotion earlier. Weird.

You both arrived at his apartment without talking to each other. Immediately going to his large couch, you had the sight of the blankets and pillows that were already there, as if he already planned it all beforehand. You just shrugged it off, thinking he just tried to sleep here earlier, no biggie.

Rain started to pour, the living room lights and the tv were turned off, making the windows beside you the only source of light that brightens the room. It made the place serene with the sound of the thunderstorms acting like the music from the vinyls playing at bright daylight.

You curled your body in a comfy way on the large couch, not bothering to wait for Jisung which is still not in the living room. Maybe you're just gonna talk to him later when you both woke up. You're gonna be rejected anyway.

Senseless thoughts had clouded your mind again, thinking what would you even do in this world if you don't have him anymore. Maybe you'll just drink everyday. Maybe you're gonna find someone in school, on a dating app, on Twitter. Maybe you're just gonna enter the convent. These thoughts made you dizzy and sleepy.

You're half asleep already when you felt his body spooning you from behind, cuddling you while sniffing your hair. Jisung wrapped his hands below your chest, gripping and hugging them tight as if it is the last time he's gonna hold you.

"you still awake?" he asked huskily, you hesitated to answer because he might let go if you did, so you stayed silent.

"you know, i kinda know this moment would come.." he started off, his breathes are getting slower as you feel them on you shoulder.

"i clearly know you'd fall for someone who you'd want to be with the rest of your life.."

"im... honestly not prepared for it.." your heart dropped. You weren't sure if he means something about this or he's just plainly concerned as your best friend.

"i cried in my room if you didn't notice why i was away suddenly... I can't let go of you, pumpkin.."

You seriously don't know what was he talking about but when you felt your shoulders wet, you knew he was serious about it. You and Minho really do give different ideas to people..

"i hope that Minho boy would take care of pumpkin..." pumpkin.... something that helps people see better.. you make him see better ??

"she deserves so much care..."

"and affection.."

"and love..."

"and hugs..."

"and.. kisses.."

He's still sniffing while hugging you, this time tighter than he was doing earlier. The sound of his low sobs have mixed up with the rain drops as they hit the houses' roofs.

"i love you my pumpkin.."

"im sorry i blew up the chance to be the one to take care of you for the rest of your life.."

Tears started to run through your cheeks slowly, he had never addressed you pumpkin before, thinking about how he thinks of you as "his pumpkin" melted your whole existence apart and it just made you wanna cling and cry on his chest all day. You told yourself you're gna let go if he tells you he likes you right at that moment which you knew was never gna happen— that he's just saying this out of care and concern because afterall, you're his best friend.

"my pumpkin.."

"i like you so much if you still don't get it.. i wanna take you with old ji.. i wanna explore the world with you... everytime you shine, I'll shine for you.."

"i wish im just.. dreaming and th.. at when i wake up, my pumpkin would... say she wanna be with me too..." he sleepily says, his grip on your stomach is now loosening, making you able to move.

You moved while whining as if you're misunderstood. Tears started to flow like waterfall, they just don't stop. You faced his chest and tugged your leg on his waist as if he's the plushie you hug to sleep.

"ji.. what the fuck are you saying?" you cried on his chest like a kid begging her mother to take them with her wherever they were going.

Jisung didn't flinch at all, he just hugged you again, this time caressing your hair and rubbing your back as you let go of your tears on his chest... he has stopped sobbing, but you still feel him getting weak and sad through his breathes.. He thought about this as your good bye hug. That this'll be the last time he's gonna be within your embrace.

"baby,, you can tell me whatever that you wanted to tell me earlier now.." the huskiness didn't leave his voice, you're still sobbing and crying on his chest like you don't wanna stop at all.

"i can't... at this state i just.. wanna.. cry all day.. while hugging you.. " you struggled to say 'em words while crying so hard.

"shhhh, hush baby, you'll just hurt me more if you don't stop.. please stop... crying... i might act carelessly and steal you from whoever has got my.. pumpkin's heart..." he said, almost a whisper.

"baby" you started..

"i wanted to confess.."

"i like you jiji.. for a very long time already.."

"i don't intend to hurt you at all by my tears, i just wanna cry it all out.."

"you have called me pumpkin for so many times and you expect me to be fine as i am??" you're still crying btw..

jisung flinched a little this time, thinking if he had heard those words right from you

"bunny, what did you say? i feel like im hearing things right now because of this desperation im feeling, fuck.. i wish i was hearing you right" he said, now hugging you tighter.

You really love how your body melts completely whenever he tightens the hug like he really don't want to let go of you, even for a single split of sec.

"pumpkin loves you too jiji.."

"im trying to confess and... i thought you'll just reject me so i didn't bother waiting for you earlier.."

"pumpkin didn't want anyone else babe,,"

"she just wanted your care.. your affection... your hugs.. your kisses.."

"pumpkin just wanted you.." you had stopped crying but you're now having hiccups while cooing onto jisung's chest.

"you don't have to sleep to hear them baby.."

"i wanna be with you too. everytime you smile, i'll smile too.. you can jump then fall here baby.."

"pumpkin will catch you wholeheartedly.." you finally looked up to jisung, whose eyes are watery again.

"i love you jisung", you whisphered and gave him a peck on the lips.

He was caught off guard, but he immediately got himself together.

When you let go and were on your way to return to his chest, he pulled your head again into a kiss—this time a deeper and longer one.

You both let go, running out of breath. He kissed the top of your head while you have returned to his chest, feeling and hearing each and every beat of his heart. You stayed together that way, you didn't hear anything from Jisung but you feel him so much and you know he's never gonna leave you anymore.

You didn't even notice you have slept for hours already while hugging him. You woke up and you're still at that exact position when you were a crying mess. It was nearly 5 pm and you still don't have the energy to let go from his embrace. You really meant it when you said you wanted to cling onto his chest all day.

You moved upwards a little bit to level your face to Jisung's while he's still sleeping. You caressed his temples down to his chin, admiring his cheeks that you have been wanting to bite since then, and you kissed each and every mole, which you loved the most. They were stars to you, making your eyes gleam in awe every single time you try to look at them. You have hoped you were his lover from your past lives— that you were the one who kissed him the most on those particular parts of his pretty face.

"You're so pretty to be pumpkin's man, jiji" you said and giggled, as if he was gna hear you.

You were caught off guard when he pulled you carefully to his chest, rubbing your back again.

"She loves to be called pumpkin huh?" he cheekily said, despite his voice being still husky.. you didn't know he was awake already. Was he just waiting for you to wake up then?

You tied onto his body for the nth time.

"s-she does.. i guess.. ?? and she.. wants to hug you longer.."

You heard him chuckle and wiggled both of your bodies together as if a kid who's happily playing with his teddy bear.

Your breathes steadied, Jisung had finally processed every word that came out from your mouth, finally jumping to fall into you.

"The moon will be pretty tonight, y/n." he cooed. You find it amusing how he don't flinch at all despite you clinging onto him for almost 9 hours now.

"I love you too, Jisung.."

[peachy-inserts]

todoroki falling for someone/relationship hcs

request:  may i request some headcanons of how shouto would fall in love and how would he act in a relationship?? 🥺🥺 thank u!!

warnings: just cursing! a/n: sorry for uploading this so many times! i messed up the tags (and also, hello! i promise we aren’t dead) long post! more under the cut

Shouto is a hopeless romantic at heart. Although it’s not something that crosses his mind frequently, whenever it does he finds himself daydreaming about the possibility of the perfect love interest as an escape from his mundane and repetitive life in which he feels trapped

Similar to Bakugou (Same prompt for him here!) I feel like Shouto would definitely fall in love with someone after learning how to trust them and interact with them rather than falling for someone after a couple meetings, he has to know you personally and on an emotionally vulnerable level before he would even consider the concept of something more; partly because of sheer embarrassment, the other from deeply routed trust issues

He would be best suited with someone spontaneous but respectful; someone who can break him free from the chains binding him to his career and future and expand his horizons and emotional capacity to levels nobody thought were ever possible. The way he acts around you is uncharacteristic of this terribly disturbed boy

Shouto realizing that he’s fallen in love with you will hit him hard and suddenly, knocking the air from his lungs and knocking him over onto his feet. Hopefully, you’ll be there to pick him up and make him see that maybe this won’t be such a frightening experience, and that you can help him along the way

He’s a very blunt yet dense person, which is shocking for someone of such quick wits and broad intelligence. Tease him about it and he will scowl at you, but give in and laugh as you both recount some of his most memorable moments. You paying attention to him, telling him your favorite times spent with him? It’s an intoxicating liquid drug that he wants to drink up and bathe himself in in a lavish fashion

Coming to terms with the fact that he’s in love with you, someone he’s so close with is by far what’s most difficult for him since he doesn’t know how to healthily process his own emotions, often times dismissing how he feels and letting it build up into an alcoholic cocktail of rage and self doubt

Without even realizing it, he’ll begin to cling to you. You’re practically attached at the hip, and he’s so subtle about it and kind that it will take an incredibly receptive sense of the world around you to notice that he’s putting an increased amount of effort into spending as much time as possible with you

Hell, kudos to anyone watching the two of you who will see what’s really happening. He’s a very unpredictable person, and everyone would simply assume you two were impersonal friends simply trying to be polite and help each other

Shouto isn’t really someone who ever writes, but like I said he is a hopeless romantic. One way he finds to cope with his new and foreign feelings is by writing sappy poetry inspired by or even for you. They’re actually not too bad, but there’s not a chance in hell that he would ever let you see them. Sometimes he’s so embarrassed to have done it that it’s incinerated on sight

I think Deku and him would be good, close friends, more so than what the series portrays. I like to think they’re besties and im putting that here because im selfish and love their dynamic. Anyways, Shouto would nervously approach Deku and ask for his thoughts on his poems, wondering if you would appreciate them or find him strange for writing about you in such a manner

After months of hiding away and suddenly growing distant, he would finally decide that if he gets rejected, it’s at least better than living out his dreams through fantasies in the solitude of his own imagination. He would come out and say that he loved you to your face, and then should you reciprocate become a shy and nervous mess who can’t help but shudder at the sudden fluttering in his stomach

Shouto actually really likes to go out on dates! He prefers to take a gentlemanly approach to your outings, and growing up frequently attending formal settings is more than comfortable with going out to whatever high end event your heart may desire

Date nights are just for the two of you, and provide for him confirmation that you’re his and nobody else’s; he’s the only one who gets to take you out and spoil you, the only one you will get ready for and the only one who will be there still at the end of the night to hold you tight

Not only that, but you have the opportunity to truly catch up and cast any other responsibilities to the side for a while. All that matters right now is the undeniable bond between the two of you, even if it’s only for a while. No matter how far apart you are, it can’t be broken by any amount of distance

Literally tell him to stop bringing you flowers; because of his mother, he’s always been particularly fond of them and their meaning, spending far too much time researching the symbolic truth behind every petal, and giving them to you for no special reason at all… far too frequently. This man is literally smothering you in carefully planned, sweet gestures

Please be patient with him. Afraid of losing you, he would actively try to change himself for the better so that he can become the person that he needs from you, since it’s only fair. He’s insecure about his seemingly cold demeanor, and worries that you may leave him for someone who isn’t afraid to reach out when they’re needing help, someone who isn’t broken and can take care of themselves without relying on you

This only feeds into his jealousy. Depending on the situation, he would most likely react one of two ways. If someone is hitting on you out of the blue, being rude and obnoxious, he would (again) be similar to Bakugou in that he’s immediately provoked and won’t hesitate to throw punches without a single bit of remorse. If you have a relationship with someone he doesn’t like or feels threatened by, then he will try to ignore it despite the way it nags him day and night, spending his free hours sulking over it; yet not bothering to speak out, afraid he will take things too far and accuse you or someone else of things that aren’t there

Help teach him that there are levels of conversation, let him know it’s okay to argue and disagree sometimes. When commiting to a serious relationship with Shouto, it will undoubtedly benefit you to show him how to have a healthy discussion from opposing perspectives without becoming heated. He doesn’t want to be the way that he is… he knows no other ways, though

Once he gets over the initial shock of being with you, he really doesn’t mind PDA. He’s not confident, but sure as hell not an ashamed person, either. He doesn’t mind to hold your hand in public or give you a chaste kiss on your forehead, perhaps even letting you rest your head on his shoulder

He would obviously wait a little before considering that you meet his family, that being a serious commitment. Him doing this definitely symbolizes his intense dedication to you and desire to stay with you for a long while. It’s a big step for him given their relationships, so stick it through with him and offer him support

He’s definitely spoken about you to his siblings and mother, though. Further into your relationship he won’t hesitate to openly gush about you and the ways you make him feel things he never has before, and how he didn’t know feelings this intense were possible when it came to others; it’s unlike anything he ever expected, feeling as if his life is better than any artistic interpretation of romance

I’m only gonna say this once so listen up. He is a Todoroki. He likes to feel as if he’s in control and protecting you, so one of his favorite things is to totally cage you with his body, so that the only thing keeping you shielded from the outside world is him and his loving embrace. Would absolutely randomly pick you up just to watch you squeal and jokingly try to push him away from you all while giggling as your face flushes pink

As for showing you off, he doesn’t really see that it’s necessary. What can I say, he’s a centered and simple guy. He’s hella proud, but it’s not important to him that everyone knows just how lucky he is. He doesn’t need an ego boost, not when he’s got you to cherish. All that matters is at the end of the day he’s got you to himself

A great listener! Not because he doesn’t talk, he’s actually very engaged in your conversations. Shouto just genuinely appreciates all that you have to say and wants to know every detail you have to spare, often times wondering what the world is like from your perspective

Not too fond of pet names at first, but if you insist on it and start making cute nicknames for him he’ll cave in and do the same for you, eventually sometimes stuttering when he uses your real name because it’s become so foreign to him. Always bringing you up in conversations as ‘pumpkin’ or something personal to you, and then feeling the heat rush to his face when he realizes it

 Shouto is the type to want to move in together very soon; mans is committed for the long haul. Just for fun, would draw out floor plans with you and discuss the features your future home would have, with every intention of making every detail you offhandedly mention a reality

He loves it when you kiss his scar I don’t make the rules that’s just how it is. He wants nothing more than to be smothered by you in love and affection, and your gentle pecks among his sensitive feature that represent so much horridness in his life are something that he lives for

Oh. He’s really good at giving massages.

»»————-　♡　————-«« Like these hcs? Find the same prompt for:

hawks.

bakugou.

aizawa.

kirishima.

[itsyourbby]

Hello! Can I get headcanons for Tokoyami accidentally overhearing his crush practicing how they'll ask him out late one night in the common room? Thank you in advance! ♡

Sure thing babycakes! ☺️

You took a deep breath and went through the words in your head again. You couldn’t believe what you were going to do tomorrow but you knew you had to do it. Ever since you met him you couldn’t get him out of your head , which really means something.

At first you thought that it was normal to think about a person a lot. Heck you thought about your idol a lot and you wouldn’t say you were obsessed. But when it comes to tokoyami and the thoughts that go through your head 24/7 then yeah... your obsessed with him.

From asking yourself how it would feel to cuddle with him to how his feathers would feel. You couldn’t get a single ounce of sleep after realizing you had a fat crush on him.

“Tokoyami fumikage since the first time I layed my eyes on you I couldn’t get you out of my head, you’re like a fever that hit me like a truck.your on my head 24/7 and I can never get an ounce of sleep because you’re always in my head. What I’m trying to say is that I...I...like you..”

You cursed at yourself mentally for stuttering at the end. You didn’t want him to think that you were a pathetic loser for being obsessed with him!

“What am I thinking...he’s going to turn me down..” your hand tighted at the glass cup you were holding. You weren’t going to lie , you were afraid of rejection. Simply getting humiliated by a simple no seemed to make your mood worse.

Shaking your head you quickly got a glass of water and chugged it down trying to get the idea of rejection out of your head..

‘Even if I did get rejected that won’t affect me in any way!’

Once you realized you finished your water your eyes went to the corner of your eye hearing a thud.

‘Shit...is someone here?!’

You would of thought that no one would be awake around this ungodly time.you made sure no one was awake!

You slowly turned your head to the sound you heard. And didn’t see anything , well you thought. You wouldn’t say your eyesight was 20/20 so you can’t really rely on them when it comes to the darkness.

Letting out a small sigh you made up the fact that maybe something was misplaced by kaminari or mineta and it fell.

You stood there for a good 5 minutes to make sure it wasn’t a person who was actually there, you didn’t want to get made fun of for practicing your confession in the middle o the night! It would harm your reputation. And it might make you look weird in the eyes of tokoyami.

Getting suddenly tired you Slowly tip toed to your dorm trying not to make to much noice for your classmates or teacher to hear you.

Once you were inside you let out a tired yawn and fell to total darkness.

The next day soon came and the only word that can describe how you were feeling right now was nervous.

You still can’t believe that you were going to confess to him!

And nervousness was not a word to describe you, so when you came to class with a timid face and shaking hands your friends soon noticed your change in behavior.

“What’s wrong (y/n)?! You look so nervous, Was there a spider in the bathroom again?!”

Shaking your head you soon explained to them what you were going to do at the end of the day, they let out a sigh of relief and giggled at you for being nervous.

Class soon started which eased your nervousness a bit. You stole a few glances twords your crush and admired him for being so...perfect.

The way he graciasly moves along with his polite attitude just makes you want to tackle him with all of the love you have for him. Oh how much you just adore that boy.

Tokoyami eyes soon landed on you , his crimson eyes piercing right through yours made you shiver and quickly look away.

‘How embarrassing’

You felt yourself heat up at the fact that you just embarrassed yourself. You didn’t mean to stare at him for a long time! You just wanted to go through the reasons why you like him so much.

The end of the day soon came quickly. As you noticed the clock slowly ticking to the hour in which classes ended, your nervousness came jumbling up.

Flinching to the loud sound of the bell , you let out a cold sweat and collected your stuff from your desk. You had to hurry up before tokoyami left! You didn’t want all of this to backfire.

Once you were done with that you hurriedly walked towards the dark feathered boy.

Your hand shakingly lifting up to poke his shoulder very gently, you cursed at yourself for being so damn nervous.

“Oh (y/n)..” Tokoyami turned around and looked at you with his red eyes.

Eyes were soon on both of you as you couldn’t get your words straight out.

“I....can I...Ugh I lost my train of thought. Uhm...” your eyes went all over the place, as much as you wanted to stare into his beautiful eyes you just couldn’t. Even if you knew it was rude to not give eye contact while trying to confess you just couldn’t.

“T-Tokoyami fumikage since the first time I laid my eyes on you I couldn’t get you out of my head,”

You glanced up to him for a few seconds and realized that he slowly started to blush.

“you’re like a fever that hit me like a truck.your on my head 24/7 and I can never get an ounce of sleep because you’re always in my head. “

You holded both of your hands together to try and calm yourself down, you knew you were to deep into your confession to back out now. Oh god what if he doesn’t like you?! What if he accepts your confession just because you look like such a loser?? What if he takes pity on you..?

“What I-I’m trying to say is that I...like you..”

“So you were the one saying that last night..”

Your eyes widened at what he just said. You would of thought that the sound you heard last night was a stupid cup falling from the counter! But instead it was him?! he was there when you were practicing??!!

“I...you were the one listening in?! “You questioned with a face of worry. Now you just knew he was going to reject you.

“I wouldn’t have thought it was you (y/n)..I-I find it hard to believe that it was you..since you always go to bed early and since you don’t seem to be interested in no one...”

Your hands went to both sides of your face, your face felt cold as your realization soon went through your thick skull.

‘HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT IM FUCKED IM FUCKED’

“I....um..well.....you see-“tokoyami soon got cut off by a voice you recognized.

“What this emo is trying to say is that he likes you too.”

Everything got quiet as your face suddenly faced him.

“I..you-you like me?!”

“dark shadow what the hell !! “

Your eyes laid on his face once again and both of you blushed even more.

The guy you’ve been admiring from afar likes you?! He likes you?! It’s impossible! He never seems to make it obvious that he has feelings for you! Instead your clown self made it so damn obvious that you did! almost everyone in the class knew!!

“Ahem...I like you too (y/n). And to be very honest your confession last night was very adorable in my opinion.”

“I can’t get the idea of you out of my head either, I’d always try to convince myself that maybe it’s because I look up to you but realization soon struck me and I simply accepted the fact that I...like you..”

His crimson eyes glanced to the corner of his eyes to try and hide the huge fat blush he was trying to hide from you.

‘How embarrassing!’he said through his head , to have thought that he would act like this while trying to confess to the person he’s been head over heels for is crazy! He’d always thought that he’d be the one to confess to you and that you might reject him but oh how deeply wrong he was.

You embraced him with a hug.

Not even thinking about what would happen if you hugged him went through your head. Just the words “hug him” came to you and you did it like a reflex.

You felt him tensen up but the tension soon melted away as he hugged you back.

“I thought you were going to reject me for how pathetic I am...” your cheek was on his shoulder which made your sentence come out muffled . ‘He smells like Raspberries!’

You just couldn’t help it but melt into the hug.

“Ha, i thought you were going to reject me! I was worried that you wouldn’t see me the same if I did”

His grip around you tightened, his face was on your shoulder taking in your scent, he couldn’t believe that this was happening! He just wanted to jump in joy that he finally had to courage to confess to you...although you were the one with the courage to confess first...

A smile was plastered on your face , does this mean that...you guys are.....dating?

“I could never! I adore you to much to reject you.”

“D-does this mean that we’re.....” that question came out of your mouth too quickly, geez you didn’t want to sound desperate or something but the question was slowly but desperately killing you.

“I guess we are...” his face came off of your shoulder to look at you face to face. His hand went to your chin to face him.

Your eyes widened at his soft move.

He stayed like that for a few minutes before opening his mouth.

“Have I ever told you that I get lost into your gorgeous eyes?”

M

[emsvegetables]

“hello! may i request #38 from the prompt list with kuroo? thank you! you’re amazing ❤️”

ahhh!!!! thank you anon!!!!!! TORIFIF IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT LITERALLY WHEN I SAW PROMPT 38 I THOUGHT OF KUROO AND I WAS LIKE: TIME TO WRITE A SHORT FIC BABY.

Kuroo isn’t shocked when he sees your name appearing on his phone the weekend before, because the both of you always call each other to catch up on the week’s events, which is what best friends are supposed to do.

No, what makes him shocked is when he puts the call on speaker mode and fumbles in his closet to pull a shirt on, your voice is loudly stating,” i need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for my cousin’s wedding.”

He pokes his head through the wrong hole, ending up with his hand in the hole that was supposed to fit the head and his head in the hole that was supposed to fit his hand.

He struggles for a little bit, using the time to register the words in his mind, before he’s choking out,” what?”

“My asshole of a cousin’s getting married to an absolute pretentious guy, and she’s told me that she wouldn’t be shocked to see me alone at the wedding because apparently, i’m not pretty enough for anyone to date. So i’m bringing you.”

Fury spreads through his chest when he hears you say those words, because has anyone seen you? You’re stunning, with your smile and your wit. Your cousin was clearly getting on your nerves, and in that moment, it’s etched in stone that he’s going to help you.

“Okay.”

Which brings the both of you to the predicament now.

He shows up to your door an hour before the wedding started, with a smirk on his face and his bed hair neatly gelled into spikes, and your breath catches when you see him from the window in the living room.

It isn’t the first time Kuroo’s made your heart hammer against your chest, and you’re sure it won’t be the last.

“Hey, love.”

You try to ignore the skip of your heart when those words leave his mouth, and you roll your eyes nonchalantly as you step beside him.

You don’t notice the way his eyes linger over the dress that flows prettily around your knees, and don’t notice the way he blinks quickly when you walk beside him.

You don’t notice it, but this also isn’t the first time you made Kuroo’s heart flutter, and he knows it won’t be the last.

“You’re looking very pretty,” he’s telling you as the two of you walk to his car, and you scoff to hide how his words affect you, a pretty blush now tinting your cheeks.

“Save it for the wedding, mister,” you tap him lightly on the stomach, and try to hide your gulp when you feel the abs under the shirt,” you can start complimenting me properly there.”

You think he’s joking, about saying that you’re pretty, because why would someone like him ever look at someone like you?

A small sigh is exhaled out from him when you reject him again, because he thinks that this is just another way of you subtly telling him that you don’t like him.

The ride’s silent, but Kuroo can tell that you’re starting to get even more tense as you near the venue, and he lightly places a hand on your thigh as he pulls the car to a stop.

“Let’s do this,” he watches your eyes narrow, and your jaw set.

He tells you to stay put and you see him get out of the car, before rushing to your side to pull the door open.

“After you, my girlfriend,” he’s winking at you, and this shouldn’t make you feel warm and tingly on the inside, but it does.

You walk with him, hand in hand, to the reception to register your presence, and that’s when you catch sight of the photos of your cousin and her soon-to-be husband. You instantly stiffen against him, the words your cousin said to you over the phone washing over you once more.

You’re nervous. And pissed off.

That’s not a good combination to begin with, and Kuroo knows that. He unlinks his fingers from yours and rests it on your back lightly, and you snap out of your trance to stare at him, and he shoots you a reassuring smile to remind you that he’s there for you.

“Act natural, love,” he’s leaning down to whisper in your ears,” it’ll be alright.”

When you force out a smile for him, he can tell that you’re still tense and angry, but it’s a start when you relax again his hands, and softly grip his shirt, before lacing your fingers with him again.

He’s there with you, and that’s all that matters.

Then it happens.

Your cousin waltzes in, dressed prettily in her wedding dress, and she catches sight of you.

“Oh, (Y/N),” she’s smiling sweetly at you,” you came.”

Her tone is as sweet as sugar, but Kuroo knows from the way your fingers tighten around his that she’s anything but that.

“Congratulations on your wedding,” you say, forcing a smile out for her.

“Oh, you brought someone,” your cousin masks her surprise with a shrill giggle, but you can see the way her eyes rack over Kuroo, and you don’t like it one bit.

“Gee, (Y/N), he’s handsome,” your cousin notes, her eyelashes batting flirtatiously at him,” what’s he doing with someone like you?”

Kuroo’s polite smile drops the instant your cousin’s jab at you leaves her mouth, and he’s grip on your hands tighten.

“She’s gorgeous, for starters,” he bites out, unable to conceal the fury that he’s feeling in his chest,” she makes me laugh with all her stupid jokes, her wit is unmatchable, and she fiercely protects the people she loves.”

He’s glaring at her, and when you look up at him, you’ve realised that you’ve never ever seen him so pissed off before.

“(Y/N)’s amazing in the way she’ll bend her back to help her friends, even if she gets nothing in return. She’s even more wonderful when she tries her best to be nice to people, even when they’re total bitches.”

His tone is ice cold, and he’s grip on your hand is so tight that you’re sure you’re losing circulation in your hands.

“Especially when the bitch is you,” he finally says, after drawing a long, deep breath in,” how (Y/N) even managed to actually get along with someone like you astounds me, and amazes me because i could never do that. And that’s why i love her, and why i’m with her.”

Your cousin’s mouth opens when Kuroo finally ends his speech, and he’s tugging you on the arm and saying,” let’s get out of here, (Y/N). We’re not going to a wedding where the bride doesn’t even show respect to you.”

When you guys are back in the car, Kuroo’s aura still scarily intimidating and fierce, the both of you sit in silence for a while.

“I-I didn’t mean to scold her,” he says, after he cools down,” i just snapped.”

You can’t say anything, because the words Kuroo threw at your cousin just a while ago is echoing in your head.

“Did you mean all of it?” you ask quietly, so soft that he wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t waiting for you to say something.

You’re looking up at him, his hazel eyes locked onto yours, and he nods after staring at you.

“I meant every word. I’ve liked you for years, (Y/N).”

His sincere tone is unmistakable, and you feel the warmth pool into your chest, and a blush rising in your cheeks.

“I like you too, Kuroo.”

oh my goddddd i’m so sorry i got carried away AGAIN. Kuroo makes me do that LOL. anyway i’m sorry if this is super cringey but i hope it was okay anon!!!!!!!

[sweet-potatoq]

ok i really wanna dive into this xicheng gymnast au ive got going on because its self-idulgent a really cool idea and ive been really interested in gymnastics recently (little angst bc im a weak bitch)

here are jiang cheng, nie huaisang, wei wuxian designs; ill add more as i draw

so jc, nhs, and wwx are popular rhythmic gymnasts and are a fan favourite in the fandom (?)

jc loves the ribbon but can also do club and rope; nhs does ball, ribbon and club; wwx can do all five (ribbon, ball, hoop, club, and rope) but he likes doing hoops the most

the three of them are pretty close since they have time to chitchat at the small louge area for resting; theyre also often called the powerpuff girls (ppg) since they wear red, green and purple (ik bubbles is blue but just roll w it)

jc has a no. 1 fan, like the biggest jc fan ever, and its a famous musician, lan xichen; literally his social media is filled with jc photos, fancams, and videos (sometimes he posts selfies with his jc merch that me probably made on his own)

ppg knows about lxc and teases jc about him so much

"did you see his face lighting up once it was jc's turn? he even brought a handmade light up banner for him omg"

jc is both flattered and annoyed (mostly because he gets teased a lot for it) but every gift lxc gives him (read: yeets on the floor) is treasured

its mostly bouquets of lotus flowers and teddy bears (there are times when he throws heavily a box safely wrapped in thick bubble wrap and tons and tons of tape and inside is just cute bracelets, necklaces and rings)

secret: jc wears it under his clothes and costume

secret secret: it sometimes comes out and lxc screams about it on twt

anyways, one day at a competition, ppg makes a bet that if jc gets a score higher than 18 in ribbons, then he has to go to lxc and ask him out

jc is torn bc he really wants a high score but is too shy to ask lxc out

spoiler: jc gets a 18.5 and now he has to approach lxc

jc's too shy to do it in person so he reaches out thru twt and dms him a

"hey uh i know ur like a big fan and i appreciate ur gifts but sometimes they look expensive anyways can i treat u to dinner to compensate"

LXC FREAKS OUT AND MESSAGES EVERYBODY HE KNOWS

lwj: do it, nmj: coward accept it, jgy: once in a lifetime opportunity, fucking do it pussy

spoiler #2: lxc accepts and jc takes him to a nice restaurant on a nice night out

its super awkward at first but once lxc takes over the conversation (mostly gushing about jc's techniques and routines) they find a nice flowing convo

"i had a great time" "me too!! im honoured to have had a dinner with my idol" "gay panic"

jc and lxc keep talking thru twt dms until they finally exchange numbers

"huan-ge" "CHENG CHENG 😭🥺💖"

they eventually go out again, and again, and again, until finally lxc gets brave and asks him out ON A DATE!!! as if the other hangouts arent dates 🙄

now theyre B O Y F R I E N D S ~ ✨

but secret bc jc is still new to everything and is lowkey overwhelmed by it, lxc agrees and does his best to make jc more comfortable and make him feel loved

they do fight over how jc's still being cold after months of dating and the fact that their relationship is still a secret doesnt help AT ALL

after numerous fights about it, lxc breaks and unloads all of HIS insecurity

"ive been feeling like ive forced you into this relationship, that my love and adoration for you made you feel as if you needed to compensate for that like how you did when we first went out. you've been cold and reject my affection and it hurts me even though i know you've said that you're just not used to it, but jiang cheng, we've been dating for 8 months now and i was so sure that by this point you'd be more comfortable. i love you a-cheng but i feel like you dont love me back."

something in the lines of that but you get me right?

ANYWAYS lxc keeps his distance from jc and jc does the same bc shit he feels bad that he made lxc think and feel that way

ppg notice that jc has been acting weird and asks him abt it and jc opens up to them about his relationship with lxc and ppg just go from 👁️👄👁️ to 😬☹️😞 because yikes

nhs and wwx obvi helps him brainstorm ideas as to how to apologize and show lxc that jc truly loves him the same way but theyre so busy with training and practicing for finals wHEN SUDDENLY NHS GOES

"what if... you dressed... in a blue and white costume... and wore the gifts he gave..."

BOOM jc gets the same costume from his routine tailored in white and blue and gets a pearlescent ribbon, shining blue to purple and wears pretty cloud earrings and replaces his zidian ring with a matching cloud ring

he goes to his finals in that costume AND ALL HIS FANS RIOT

"holy SHIT jc is wearing blue???" "what happened to the old costume??" "its the same one but in blue??" "hes so handsome tho"

lxc is obvi there at the finals because he is first and foremost, jc's no. 1 fan

nmj and lwj are with lxc bc lxc needs emotional support, and with the added bonus of jc's beautiful costume and accessories, he just LOSES it and cries on the spot bc hes a softie

jc performs his routine, gets an unbelievable high score and wins a gold medal (deserve) and on the podium, he asks for a mic and tells the whole fucking world his feelings for lxc

"ive been dating lan xichen, my no. 1 fan, for 8 months and its been the best 8 months of my entire life. its been a secret to everybody we both know because i was too scared to say something, too scared that everybody would reject it and judge us. but now that i realized it has put a strain on our relationship, it made me think. why should i worry about this? why should i be scared? why, when i have him by my side to support me and love me? im so sorry huan-ge that ive made you feel unloved and unwanted because i do love you. i love you so fucking much and it hurts me that you feel this way because of me. i hope that you're here somewhere in the audience to hear this, maybe not since we're not okay, but know that ill do better. ill let myself love you wholy and freely from now on if you'll let me."

cue jc crying and lxc also crying (harder) and probably the whole world crying with them even lwj lets out a tear or two

cue cue lxc fucking jumping out the barracade, fall on his ass, running towards the podium, tripping and landing on his face, standing up and limping, then tackling jc and almost making them fall over bc lxc is chaotic like that

cue cue cue lots of crying and hugging and screaming from the audience and probably the medical team rushing in because holy shit lxc did that and jc is still hitting him for almost dying??

social media fucking blows up with numerous photos of jc, videos of jc's speech, photos and videos of lxc and jc and loads of support messages for the two of them

it ends with lxc posting numerous selfies of him and jiang cheng being lovey dovey with a really cheesy caption that probably goes like

"HE HAS NO RIGHT TO MAKE MY KOKORO GO DOKI DOKI" or "i love one (1) man and its my boyfriend- oops i meant fiance"

the end sksks theres other couples in this like wangxian and nieyao but really minor so i didnt put them in BUT how is this story? is it worth writing out? or is it ok as is?

[angstars]

Uhh, hello!! I’m kinda new to this so uhh— yeah.

I was wondering if I could get an s/o headcannon with Eichi where Eichi has a heart attack and almost dies(as he does).

Uhh, thanks a lot I guess!!

I am REALLY horrible at this —–

don’t worry about it!! this is a submission darling, next time you wanna do a request, go to the ask !! i mean this can work as well but usually sending it via ask is easier! don’t worry about it my friend, your request has arrived and now i shall send to you as you please!! i LOVE those types of scenarios omg i hope it isnt too angst filled

P.S. ONCE AGAIN i have messed up and im BLIND, i forgot you said headcanons and wrote a scenario omg. tho i feel like a scenario was easier to work with for this request, i do apologise once again

And remember, get calcium!♠

Humans aren’t as oblivious as one may think. Either one feigns utter ignorance, or they’re purely blinded to what’s in front of them; as much as one tried, it was impossible to ignore the straining feeling that something was breaking.

The bond of your relationship was thinning till the point of snapping, and that frightened you. You hated the fact that it had to reach this far for you to decide to take action, and you felt a strong build up of anger at Eichi for showing no effort in bringing it up either; choosing to live in a fake blissfulness as if everything is how it should be.

To be fair, both of you were at fault for never picking up the matter when it should’ve been addressed the moment it was planted in this relationship; this ticking bomb that was ready to explode.

It all started when Eichi began to act distant towards you, constant clipped responses as he excused himself to being busy whenever you tried to get together with him outside of school, or even on weekends. At first you began to wonder if you’ve done something to greatly upset him, but your trust in him rejected the idea, falsifying it that he’d never be petty enough to do such a thing, especially with you.

Marching down the hallway to the student council room, your anger numbing all the rationality in your mind, you barged into the office; not caring whether you were interfering on something important.

You hoped to find him alone, but he was seated with Wataru on the main desk discussing some paperwork. In good will, Wataru waves at you, smiling brightly, “Why hello! Now that’s one way of making an entrance!”

You smiled, although bitterly, “hello. Wataru, if you may, please leave.” Seeing his dumbfounded expression, your smile dropped as you explained, “I wish to speak to Eichi. Alone.”

He glanced between you and him multiple times before getting the hint and excusing himself hurriedly, exiting the room and closing the door behind him with a click. Facing Eichi, it only occurred to you now how his eyes were sharp as he stared at you, either coldly or calculatingly, you didn’t know.

If you weren’t so aggravated yourself, you would’ve felt hurt.

“What’s the meaning of this?” He asked, setting down the papers and reclining back on his chair.

“Oh don’t start with me,” stomping forward, you felt the venom rise up in your throat as you confronted him, “I’m here because you just refuse to talk to me; what’s gotten into you?! You seem to have forgotten me entirely!”

“That’s not true,” he defended, standing up to hold a stronger stance, “I’ve been-“

“-busy. Yeah, I know,” completing his sentence, you saw his eyebrows hitch upwards, “avoiding me like wild fire, you spend more time with everyone else but me, what’re you even busy doing?”

“Are you jealous? Is that it?”

Hearing him say that made you feel like he was belittling the problem, and most importantly, he wasn’t taking it or you seriously.

“Jealous?!” Shocked, you couldn’t help but lightly shake your head at him as your whole expression soured, “is that what it looks like to you? Because from what I see it, you’ve been rejecting me.”

Crossing your arms defensively, Eichi takes the initiative to close the space between you two as he walks around the table to approach you, “rejecting you? Just because I’ve been busy doesn’t mean I think any less of you,”

“Really? Because if that was the case, I wouldn’t be here.”

“What’s the issue here? I don’t understand.”

By now, he’s standing right in front you, and somehow you couldn’t find the words in you to vocalise them. There was so much to begin with that you didn’t know where to start, perhaps breaking it down will make it simpler, to when all this began to affect your feelings and view of the relationship; perhaps in the end of the day, it was a distorted glance produced from lack of communication, and he was in fact seeing something else.

Before being able to begin however, time must’ve run out in his head as he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing both his eyes momentarily, “look I know this is important to you, but could we please discuss this later?”

His words snapped you out of your resolve, back into a dark world where the problem seemed to only stretch further and further.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got things to tend to.”

“Later? When exactly is this ‘later’, hm? Because this is the first time in two weeks that we’ve talked for longer than a minute! And it’s about our relationship problem, it’s about us, and you’re refusing to put down whatever you’re doing just to talk to me?” Something must’ve cracked by then, because you’ve wanted to do anything but look at him at this moment, “I’m through with you!”

Screaming that out must’ve ripped your heart in two as your voice cracked at the very end, yet there were no tears, just a sting in your eyes as you turned around, too quick to see his genuinely perturbed expression as he reached out a hand to you and called your name.

“Wait!”

Without turning back, you headed straight for the door. He rushed after you, aiming to hold your wrist when a sharp pang in his chest held him back, gasping for air as he immediately gripped his chest, balling the fabric in his fists. Hearing that, you froze at the door, your hand on the doorknob.

Not now.

Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead and he instantly felt cold, his palms and back all felt clammy as he fell to his knees, coughing violently, his right hand shot out to catch himself, resting heavily on the tea table beside him. His mouth was open agape, yet no air went in as all he did was choke on it, coughing more and more.

Whirling around, your eyes widened at the sight of him sinking to the ground, “oh my god.” you breathed.

Rushing to his side, you regretted your earlier words as you began to beat on his back, hoping that would help someway. 

“You’re going to be okay!”

Panic consumed you, as this never happened when you were around, you were inexperienced and unprepared on what to do. Your eyes then began to tear up, and fear on his well being began to creep on you.

His coughing was unrelenting, and you spring to life to do something - anything. You motioned to stand up, when Eichi grabbed your sleeves desperately, his body shaking and breathing turning rigid.

“Eichi?” Your voice shook, staring at him in confusing as you watched him sway, going in and out of consciousness as he fell back, but you caught him by his shoulders, “Eichi! Hey, stay with me!”

Laying him on his back, your heart was going to beat out of your chest as everything fell to a frenzy. With your hands splayed on his chest, you clumsily began to preform an amateur first aid on him, tears spilling as the only thing you found yourself doing was pumping his chest and begging him to stay awake.

He was practically wheezing, and kneading on your sleeve, he looked like he wanted to say something, but all that came out was heaving and cut up coughs.

“Save your breath!” You instructed, “I don’t know what I’m doing but please stay awake! Am I helping?!”

Unable to give a response, you saw him completely shut down; eyelids closing as everything fell to an unnerving halt. Your heart fell to your feet, and you weren’t sure whether it was denial or desperation, but you found yourself continuing the first aid, occasionally cupping his face and searching for any sign of life in him.

Crying out for help this time, luck was on your side as there was a boy near by who heard your pleas; and getting a firm look on the situation, ran to get the nurse as quick as possible.

                                                           —-

“I’m sorry,”

Before even opening his eyes to the familiar white washed walls and bed sheets that he knew he must be surrounded by, he allowed his meek hushed voice to spill the thoughts that were on his mind but was unable to speak. He could feel the humid sensation around his noise and lips which probably indicated an oxygen mask.

Relief washed over you as you heard his voice. Standing up from your seat that was situated beside the bed, you felt sore from how long you were sitting but you didn’t care as you leaned over him, tears reforming in your eyes as you smiled.

“How did you know it’s me?” you whispered back.

“Oh you know...there’s a connection between lovers. I just know...”

How cheesy.

He musters a weak sheepish smile, before slowly fluttering open his eyes. They were so gentle and kind, just like how you remembered them. Sniffling and letting out a shaky breathe, your lip began quivering as you apologised to him.

“No,” he reaches out towards you with his left hand and tenderly brushes your cheek with his index finger in an attempt to wipe your tears, “I’m sorry. I didn’t listen to you when you wanted to talk to me, and it lead to an unnecessary fight. I should’ve listened...”

Coughing slightly, you held his hand that was on your cheek, “maybe I went overboard,”

“Not at all, I’d be hurt too if you were distancing yourself. I only realise now my ridiculous actions, I truly was distancing myself without realising it, I only ask if you can forgive me.”

Smiling softly, you shake your head, “don’t worry, I forgive you. Sometimes we do stupid things, and it’s all because we’re under stress.”

“I’ll be better.” he promised.

Raising an eyebrow, you grinned, “first, get better.”

[sloppy-butcher]

Whats your hcs for Frank, Evan and Herman?? They are my 3 loves so im curious... (love your work ya poes

how old are you sir? I must ask to see ur ID. a babey can’t be using language like that >:(

anyhow, the 3 boys eh? I’ll gladly write anything for them uwu. I’m going to be doing general relationship hc’s so things will probably get fluffy and maybe a little angsty. i can’t help myself sometimes. I’m going to try include one NSFW hc for each of the 3 stooges, so be prepared. it may be bad. the reader will be left as ambiguous as possible

edit: i write way to much :/ i think i should only do 1 or 2 character requests from now on T_T

hope you enjoy!

General relationship HeadCanons

The Legion (Frank Morrison)

With Frank, there was no real start to your relationship. There was no moment in time, no exact, pinpoint instance when one could say that that is when you two starting everything. It kind of just happened. Maybe it was when Frank first kissed you, it felt like fireworks and the snow in Mount Ormond was no longer cold. Or maybe it was when he first saw you dancing along with Suzie to one of her favorite songs, the twirling of your feet mixed with perfectly timed head slams dazzled him and he wanted nothing more than to have you give him a private dance. In the end, these are all speculations and the truth may never be known.

Around others, he was hesitant to show his emotion. You two could be sitting right next to each other your thighs all but alined when out of nowhere Joey sticks his head in. Frank snaps like a mousetrap, retreating back away from you as if he was embarrassed. You confronted him about this, you told him everything’s okay and that no one would judge him for being human. He refused you and, not to lie, it really hurt. But one day, just as you were walking away you felt his hand snake its way into yours. He hesitated for a moment, afraid you might reject him but of course, you gladly wrapped his hand in yours. You heard Joey wolf-whistle from somewhere behind you and Frank very enthusiastically tossed a middle finger at him. You couldn’t see it, but Frank was blushing under his mask.

Franks, not a romantic guy so don’t expect flowers or gifts or really anything nice. He grew up with virtually nothing so the idea of wooing someone with items of material affection is very foreign to him. He believes that if his presence and physical affection aren’t enough to prove to you that he appreciates you, then nothing will. But you never cared about gifts. All you ever wanted was Frank and he couldn’t help but feel giddy at the thought.

!NSFW! Frank was a pretty vanilla guy. He doesn’t have much experience when it comes to the department of extremely intimate affection and therefore knew literally nothing about the pleasures of the flesh. But the keyword here is ‘was’. After meeting you and your guiding hand he blossomed into a very wild and very hungry individual. His favorite position though is when he gets to look at you. And if you call his name he will instantly crumble. Afterward, or during the act you need to reach out and caress him. Touch and explore his body, mainly his face and he’d moan even louder. Your hands are so soft and gentle and when you touch him he floats with elated glee. He feels alive when he’s with you.

The Doctor (Herman Carter)

You would have to be extremely special or out-of-the-ordinary in order to catch the eye of the Doctor. But somehow you managed to do it. Herman was a man unhinged, incapable of empathy and compassion. He never looked at other humans as people with feelings and conscious ideas and thoughts. He only ever saw them and you as test subjects. But something about you was off. You did something that made this machine of a man halt in his pursuit of human torture. What exactly did you do? Well, nothing really. As he approached you, electrical energy between his hands flexing and growing ready to turn your brain to mush, you never screamed, never flinched away and never took your tired eyes off him. The first few times when you welcomed death he didn’t notice and it was only after a significate amount of encounters that finally Herman realized he had never heard your cries of fear and pain.

He would amp up his power when he would find you in trials. He would kill you much more violently than he would the others, make your liquified brain ooze out your ears and make your heart stop and start like a busted old car. Sometimes he would even through away the whole trial upsetting his boss greatly, just to get to you. But no matter what he did, you never offered him what he wanted. You had seen and experienced much worse than him and when death never gives you a release, torture becomes mundane and repetitive. When Herman finally understood that you weren’t afraid of him, he relented, snuffed out his power and walked away. He had his attention now.

Whenever you would visit him during off-time he would follow you as you wandered around the massive mansion known as Léry’s. Sometimes he would lead you, taking you to the rooms which he liked the most (operation rooms). Herman can not talk, the contraption in his mouth has stretched his lips to the point that they can no longer function and his voice box is beyond repair, damaged thanks to his constant flow of electricity that would otherwise kill a man. But he doesn’t need to talk to you. You always seem to know what he wants without hearing a single word.

!NSFW! Sex with Herman is out of the question. The man is pumped with endless volts of electricity and if you were to so much as touch him, your body would recoil and spasm painfully from the contact.  If you ever wanted to experience pleasure from or with the man, he would have to try rein back some of that overflowing energy. But the man is too prideful and would never dare try to cull some of his ability. Unfortunately. But maybe after some time, he might learn to listen. There is no time in the Fog, only eternity and humans were never meant to live for that long. Our minds dull and our intentions warp from the time spent existing and maybe even someone as mad and determined as Herman could learn that it’s not so bad to let others into his life.

The closest you could ever get to kissing Herman is probably just planting a soft peck on his cheek.  A dangerous move considering the possible consequences of actually touching him with such a sensitive part of you, but a risk you were willing to take. One day, however, in the silence and fog of the mansion Herman would reach out for you. He would lean down to your height and very slowly take your hand. There was no static shook when your skins met. He was telling you that he was calm. He would then guide your hands to his mouthpiece and he would tell you to take it off.  Delicately you would peel away the metal from flesh and his mouth would furiously bleed and dretch his teeth with red. When he was free you would quickly meet him and you would hungrily kiss his chapped lips. He would kiss you back, his lips unable to keep up with yours but his tongue is wild and eager. However, after only a minute he would shove you away violently. As you feel the connection between you two break, the space around Herman lits up and crackles with mad energy. You would have to wait for him to calm down again if you wanted to continue your endeavors.

The Trapper (Evan Macmillan)

Despite being one of the most diligent and consistently brutal killers in the realm, when Evan is alone and the only eyes watching him are yours, he is a gentleman. He would speak to you softly, asking about your day already knowing that it was pretty shit. He would hold doors open for you and he would always make sure you were warm, either with a spare blanket or a seat extra close to a fire. He would fuss over you. Your soft skin, so clean and pure, untouched by the horrible and evil ways of the world made him marvel at how human you were. To him, you were what humans were meant to be, good and kind, whereas he was a monster charred and broken, unworthy and incapable of affection and of all those things that were meant to make life wonderful. He wanted to protect you, preserve that softness of you and although he couldn’t do anything to help you when the camera’s all turned back on, during this time he would smother you with whatever cautious and motherly behavior he could muster.

He was drawn to you because of your confident behavior. He found your energy alluring and would always find himself somehow infected by your hope and optimism. You were like a fire, burning everything in your path and he just happened to be close enough to catch alight. In the beginning, Evan would become very annoyed by your seemingly endless ideas of survival but as time went on and you never seemed to dampen like the others he found that his annoyance turned into curiosity. A part of him wanted to know what it was like to be under your light of hope. It yearned to be rescued but a bigger and much louder part of him, a voice oddly resembling his fathers, drowned it out. However, that didn’t stop his feet from walking towards you and it certainly didn’t stop you from staying with him.

In the early stages of your relationship with the mountain of a man, you had to the one initiating affection. You had to be the one to reach out and grab his hand. He would look down at you and you swore you could hear him gasp. And when you would want to hug him, you would either have to wait until he sat down or you would have to climb atop a box. It’s not that he was afraid to reciprocate your feelings, he just felt like he didn’t deserve it. He tried to remain stone-cold and distant hoping that it would detour you and make you give up on him but you weren’t known for ‘giving up’. Eventually, when you refused to leave and he had to accept that you wanted to be with him, all you needed to do for a hug was open your arms wide and beckon him closer with your hands. He would roll his eyes and very stiffly lean down for you. You would eagerly wrap yourself as best you could around his neck and, if you were laughing or in an infectiously good mood, he would engulf you in his own. Sometimes he would even stand up and sweep you off your feet. He would bury himself into your neck,  trying his best to smell you through his bone and metal mask.

!NSFW! This has been said many times before but Evan has handles. Those large pieces of metal piercing his shoulders and down his back. It scared you at first when he suggested you hold onto them, they looked so painful and the skin around the puncture wounds were all puffy and red. He reassured you and explained that he doesn’t feel much of anything anymore. When he said that you looked at him confused then, without thinking, you lean forward and gently place a kiss on the wound. He tries to watch you as you trail butterfly kisses over his exposed chest. “Feel better?” You ask pulling away for a moment. He couldn’t respond, his throat welling up with shook, disgust and absolute fascination. You clearly didn’t care about what he looked like, what kind of monster he had become, and it gave him so much more confidence. Hold on to his handlebars, pull and yank them as he thrusts into you, he likes to feel your weight vibrate through the bars into his ribcage. Evan enjoys the feeling of control he gets when he is the one giving you pleasure and also foundation.

BONUS! Drag your tongue along one of the bars. Make sure his eyes never leave you and when you finally lick the whole length of the metal, plant your lips firmly on his mouth. He will kiss back passionately, amazed at how dirty someone so pure and good like you could be.

[btxtreads]

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu​

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji​ @qtsoobin​ @beomberry​ @txtdiaries​ and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame  but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: - 

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino 

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two 

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall 

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

[sissifm-radio-f]

Translation Radio F* Zwangsräumung verhindern

Radio F* - Stop eviction, make use of the rental cap!

Moderation Radio F* : Hello at Radio F* - Stop eviction, make use of the rental cap! And we broadcast on 88,4 in Berlin and on 90,7 in Potsdam via Studio Ansage.

This is Radio F* broadcasting in the second Corona-Lockdown. This means that the measures have once again been tightened, we are once again stopped from going outside,  once again told to stay at home, it is cold and wet.  And while airlines have received their voluptous rescue packages, to save them from the damages of the lockdow, here on the ground fewer and fewer people are able to pay their rent and thus have no possibility to stay at home, simply because they don't have one anymore. We dedicate our program today to the rent protests in this city and we spoke with Sarah and Tim from the "Alliance to Stop Evictions" about rent increases and landlords getting rid of their tenants, about forced evictions, and about resistance against them, about organization and networking, and about the Berlin rental cap that was decided at the beginning of the year and has been applied obligatory since this week. That means since beginning of this week landlords are legally obligated to adapt the rent to the new guidelines and lower it if it is required. But only very few landlords will approach us and say: Your rent is too high by the way. We have to initiate the rent reduction ourselves. The alliance and other players in the rent policy call on all tenants to make use of this offer. Inform yourself, check your rent and lower it according to the new guidelines. In your own interest and in the interest of all your fellow tenants. We will tell you later where you can get more information and who can help you with this. Now we play you a brand new track: SLDRT! by LMF, which stands for Le Monde est en flammes - the world is on fire.

Music SLDRT! LMF / Le Monde est en flammes - featuring Babsi Tollwut, Miss Zebra, Lucia Vargas Mal Eleve, and Tsidi and Anela from SoS

Moderation Radio F*: This is Radio F. In this program we present the "Alliance to Prevent Forced Evictions".  And yes, we are also affected by the corona measures and cannot speak live in the studio with our guests as usual, but we have met beforehand with two activists of the alliance and talked with them - about the alliance and about evictions and how we can organize ourselves against them, how we can be active. The alliance consists of people who do not want to accept rent increases, displacement and evictions any longer. The alliance is in solidarity with those affected and is committed to the abolition of forced evictions in general and in individual cases. It is about leading the fight together with the affected people and about taking action together in the form of sit-ins at housing associations, putting up posters and distributing flyers, demonstrations and actions, court assistance, public relations, blockades during forced evictions We spoke with two activists from the  "Alliance to Stop Evictions"  Tim has been with us from the beginning, that is, for 7 years, and Sarah joined us as a victim through an action two years ago and she has remained with us. And to give you an impression of what this alliance is all about, we asked Tim: What is a forced eviction and how does it work?

Interview Alliance to Stop Evictions/ Tim: Tim: Well, it is like this. A forced eviction goes like this.  For various reasons, rent debts arise or there are other things. What is totally favored by the owners at the moment, is to terminate the lease because of personal needs. So it's actually always about getting rid of the people who usually have such an old long-term lease (long-term contract) - to increase the profits. But we don't care, for what reason people get kicked out of their apartment. We think that eviction is a violent act of repression anyway and we are strictly against it. Radio F*: Ok, then someone gets such a eviction notice and what happens then? Tim: Then he can still defend himself legally. And depending on how good the lawyer is, how firm the people themselves are, you can delay this for a long time. Sometimes one year, sometimes one and a half years. But when it's over and legally nothing can be done anymore and the judicial eviction title is there, then the owner can instruct a bailiff to enforce the eviction title. Then there are still possibilities to delay it a bit because of health or something like that, but it is very difficult. And then, at some point, a letter comes from the bailiff, where she also tells you when the eviction is. It must be at least three weeks, two to three weeks before the actual eviction date, it must be there. Then it must also say when it will arrive and at what time. And then we already know. Then there are several possibilities.

Radio F*: Then the person concerned will contact you, if he or she has not done so by then. Tim: Right. Yes, and then we can see if we can get in contact with the owner and point out to him that we somehow don't think it's right at all. Or we wait until the eviction is scheduled and mobilize friends and neighbors that day. And then comes, usually the bailiff and one person of the housing company come. Then there is usually a locksmith who opens the door. And when suddenly 50 people or more stand in front of the door, then they don't get  in and then they say that it's not going to work out today. Then there are several possibilities. Sometimes the bailiffs don't feel like it anymore. Or they have more appointments that day and then they leave again. But you can also call the police and say: "I have a forced eviction today, everything is done and you have to give me forced assistance, oh nonsense, administrative assistance. The forced eviction is called administrative assistance. And then the police comes and then there come more and more and more...

Radio F*: So, the bailiff then turns directly to the police. This is not done by the owner? Tim: Yes, exactly, because the owner has already assigned the bailiff. And yes, then they come. And either there is another deal with the bailiff. That also happens sometimes. It means: Well, two weeks longer, I don't want to enforce it today. Or the police says, we don't have enough people or something like that, we can't get it done, it takes too long. But if need be, they can also enforce it by force. And yes, sometimes there is stress. So also judicial stress for the people who were there. But we solve that in the same way by showing solidarity for or with those affected. We are also in solidarity with the people who are part of the action. That means we solve all legal problems or follow-up stories together. Radio F*:  And how do you solve that? Tim : Well, together we organize the money for a lawyer. If the people want that, we also accompany them in court. To get it more public and then -  if people want it - we also show that it was absolutely right and also legitimate,  even though it was not legal. But it was a legitimate action there to prevent people from being thrown out on the street, which is always shitty. But especially now, because you can't get a place to live. Where will it come from? And secondly, under corona conditions, which is even more absurd, because people are asked to stay at home and then they are thrown out on the street.

Athmo: The houses to those who need them. (music, demo, chant)

Radio F*: What are your goals, your demands and your objectives? Tim : Well, our demand is actually quite simple: We want that there are no more evictions. But this is a demand within a capitalist city, it would have such an impact on private property that it is probably difficult to implement in this capitalist city. And that's why we are already with everyone, with every single story that we can prevent or even delay, we think it's already a great success for us and of course for those affected. Especially for those, because it may seem small that one prevents a forced eviction while there are 5,000 per year or at least 5,000 eviction requests. But for the individual people it is of course an incredible success if they can stay in their home.

Moderation Introduction of  Music: You will hear from Lena Stöhrfaktor from the beautiful album "Gott im Himmel, Leichen im Keller" the "Lauf der Dinge" (course of events)

Music: Lena Stöhrfaktor-Der Lauf der Dinge

Moderation Radio F*:  Forced evictions are day-to-day business, forced evictions are a mass phenomenon. In 2019 Landlords commissioned bailiffs almost 5000 times to evict renters  from their apartments in Berlin. The districts most affected are those in which rents have risen the most recently, namely in Marzahn-Hellersdorf, Spandau and Charlottenburg-Wilmersdorf. Forced evictions are the cruelest means that landlords can use to get rid of low-paying or unwilling or simply uncomfortable tenants, and in case of doubt all tenants who have a rental contract are uncomfortable, since an apartment can often be rented out at a multiple of the old rental price when it is newly rented out. Forced evictions are a too of the ruling housing policy to enforce the population exchange in the inner city. They are the end point of an unjust struggle.

Interview Alliance to Stop Evictions/ Sarah Sarah : I came to the Alliance as an affected person. That was three years ago. Radio F*: What happened there? Sarah: Our landlord, he kicked us out of our apartment. After 13 years.   Radio F*: How did he try that? Sarah: Well, by modernization. We delayed it as long as we could. Five years we were able to delay it. Then the modernization happened. Then there were things in a bill for this modernization that didn't happen, that weren't done. We didn't pay for them. Due to this he fired us on account of alleged rent debts. Radio F*:  So he really wanted you out of there? Sarah: Yes. Then came the action for eviction because of this alleged rent debts. The local court rejected his eviction action, said there are no rent debts, because this invoice is not correct, because there are items in it, which are based on things that didn't happen. And then he appealed, and then this process went to the regional court and the regional court gave green light for this action for eviction. Radio F*: They are known for being landlord friendly. Sarah: Yes, yes, it was a very unpleasant experience. But what was great was that there were a lot of friends in this trial, and also people, comrades-in-arms from the alliance. It was a very, very good experience: just to experience this solidarity. Radio F*: How was the alliance in solidarity with you?   Sarah: I called the alliance at that time. There is a number. A telephone number for those affected. I found it on the Internet. And then a person contacted me and asked me to write a short e-mail about our case. That's what I did. And then we were invited to the plenum. Half an hour before I went there, they talked briefly about the case and what is legally possible and what is not.  Yes, it was all very devastating at that time, because it became more and more clear to me that there is nothing more to be done legally. But when you are affected, then you still have the hope until the very end that maybe there is still something possible in the courts.  In the alliance I met other affected people, during the time I was very affected. And we also met and thought about what we could do together, how we could support each other. At that time, the idea was to ask the municipal housing associations whether there were apartments available. In this respect it was also a political approach, because these municipal housing associations also have a responsibility in this city. Especially because they have sold so many apartments to private people, to investors. By this the Senate wanted to solve its financial issues.

Moderation Radio F*:     In the case of municipal housing associations, every eviction has been prevented up to now, in which the alliance has been active and has provided public exposure. At the end the city does not want to stand in the glaring light of the public as an asshole, apparently none of the responsible parties wants to mess with the voters in this way. With private investors, it depends on the callousness of the investors whether and how long the eviction can be delayed by the protests. Experience shows that only the most hard-boiled do not care how they are seen in public. Even with most private investors, a forced eviction can be delayed by effective publicity, usually only a few weeks or months. But in many cases the eviction title was not suspended, but the investor still does not dare to apply the eviction title and carry out the eviction and so people are still in their homes.

Athmo

Moderation Radio F*: You are listening to Radio F*. At the beginning of this week the rental cap came is applied in Berlin, which means that from this week on excessive rents are prohibited by law - we call on our listeners: Inform yourselves! Make use of your right to adjust your rent. Your landlords won´t be very busy to inform you that you pay too much rent. But there are many places where you can inform yourself about the rental cap, where you can calculate your rent independently, for example the rental cap calculator of the senate at mietendeckelerechner.berlin.de; or contact the legal advice of the tenants' association or the tenants' community. If the Senate of Berlin has finally come to its senses and has to give in to the permanent pressure of the cities political movements and is willing to meet our demands, we should use this concession. A resident friendly policy is quite envogue is and finds our favor!   We have two activists from the Alliance to Stop Evictions as guests in today's program. The Alliance is also urgently calling for the use of the rental cap, ultimately as a legal means to prevent evictions. If rents become more affordable again, fewer people will be threatened with eviction and fewer people will lose their living environment. Sarah has just told us how she came to the Alliance after her landlord tried to get her out of the apartment by any means possible. Sarah, you told us how you experienced solidarity in the Alliance and how you began to organize yourself together with other affected people. What happened next?

Interview Alliance to Stop Evictions / Sarah: Sarah: Yes, this solidarity among each other was a very, very good experience. And also this experience that the people from the Alliance had. They simply knew which levers they could use to build up pressure. I stayed with the Alliance because that's where I experienced this solidarity and because I don't think anybody should have this experience. To be evicted or to be kicked out of their home. Yes, and then the Alliance is also a great group. So very impressive and still very impressive I find the old warriors, the women who have been active there for decades, who occupied houses as early as the 1980s, who were and still are active in urban politics, and who - even if they were in politics - really did get back there again, returned to this point, with which everything stands or falls: Just this grassroots work, this grassroots organization. Radio F*: What do you mean by this? By grassroots work and grassroots organization? Sarah: Well, to work outside of parliament, to want nothing to do with parties. Yes, independent of party structures, independent of funding.

Interview Alliance to Stop Evictions/Tim: Tim : So you have to have a certain motivation to want to change something politically in this society. And since for many people or in this society this is not so... In this society politics is actually, well, you do that by the side by putting a cross (for a party) but not that you are active there yourself. Yes, I think this is the case for very few people. And as I said, many people are so enthusiastic about raising their voice in a group. I think many people feel like this. We also met people who we could not help at all. They only came to us in order to throw up and let their anger out. And we said yes, it is not your fault. It is a social question, it is not an individual question. And they were already happy with that. But to really take up the fight when you also have to make the means to survive in this society, that's just more difficult. Radio F*: But don't you also have to make the means to survive in this society? Tim: Well, but maybe the motivation is so big for us, or - for whatever reason - maybe we somehow managed to create some freedom beside the usual social life. or we had more luck or  weare satisfied with less. That you simply have more time and leisure to organize yourself politically.

Moderation Radio F*: The Alliance to stop Evictions meets once a week. In addition, solidarity with new people who come to the Alliance as victims is constantly being built up, and in the meantime new actions are planned. How can political work and life be combined?

Interview Alliance to Stop Evictions / Sarah: Sarah: I had times in between when I wasn't there because I did a lot of wage work. And at some point it really got on my nerves that I just had so much... that I didn't have the strength and energy to go there anymore. I really missed that and suffered from this hamster wheel I was sitting in.  And the alliance seemed to me to be an alternative to this capitalist hamster wheel, where simply other things seem possible. Radio F*: How can this be realized? Sarah : By dragging myself to the plenum after three night shifts, after the weekend, and then plenum and you meet the people there. That's where my life actually begins, one thing is wage work and the other thing is my life. And when the pandemic came and the lockdown came, the paid work was gone of course and we met physically a few more times at the beginning. Radio F*: At the beginning of the pandemic, because that was still possible. Sarah: Yes. But at some point there were no more physical meetings, there were these online meetings. But then I was out.  And at some point the group met offline again. And then I joined again.

---- bis hier

Moderation Radio F*:  Corona - the lockdown as a chance to become active.  This is a new way of looking at the Coronalvckdown and here we also want to start an appeal to our listeners: Don't get discouraged, don't let them take the windof your sails. As we have heard, the lockdown can also be used as a chance to become active - listen around, keep in touch and keep your eyes open!  And remember: Demonstrations are not prohibited! You hear: La tierra no se vende - a track by Wechekeche

Music:  Wechekeche- La tierra no se vende

Interview Alliance to Stop Evictions/Tim: Tim: We don't want to fight FOR those affected, but we want to fight together WITH them. This is important to us and we don't want to instrumentalize people. We tell them what we can do. If they say "Nah, I don't feel like it or I don't dare yet", then we don't do that either. So everything is discussed with them. It's somehow very important that you respect the people totally and also with their fears and everything else they have. And the second: Solidary direct action. These can be different things. As I already told you, it could be a blockade or a Go In, which is also a form of action that we do quite often because it is quite accessible. The cops don't always see it that way, but okay, that's the way it is. Radio F*: Accessible in the sense that you can just do that? Tim: Yes, that the repression is not so big. So we already had this. Then it's just trespassing or some kind of frippery. And going to court together, to a trial, is also easy. So it has such different levels, yes. And of course it's nice when it goes a bit beyond the legal framework. But that is not a condition for us to approve of anything. It's also great when there are 50 people in front of the trial and not all of them fit in the room. It won't change the verdict directly, but as we have noticed, it makes a difference, if there are people and if they pay attention to how exactly the judges pronounce justice.  And the third thing was: we don't want to leave it only like that on this individual level and we don't want to leave it as if actions within this society could change something in the long run. You can only do it for individual cases. But we think that as long as it is about making housing into profit and as long as it is not somehow a social task,  just like all other things concerning securing the livelihood, whether it is work, education or whatever. So we do not believe that this is possible in the long run.  And therefore we have a very clear attitude that we want to abolish capitalism.

Athmo

Tim: And the whole thing started with a woman with Turkish roots on Maybachufer (Street in Berlin, Kreuzberg), people came by and there was a note in the window: "This is gentrification. Call the police, you won't get me out of here."  And then people rang the bell and asked what was going on. And then she said: "Yes, this used to be a former social housing project. It was privatized. The guy wants to convert it into condominiums and sell it. "But she doesn't want to get out.  For various reasons:  One, she grew up in this neighborhood. Then, the apartment is somewhat barrier-free,  because she was in a wheelchair - not always, but often. Also she has her neighborhood help here, which is existential for people with little money. And then we said: "Okay, so we can't get you an apartment. And it's also very unlikely that we can keep the apartment. But if you resist, then we could just support you, fight with you." Radio F*: So it was through that poster in the window that you came across this woman and she actually gave you the starting signal. Tim: Exactly, because it was like this: That tenant women never fought in this consequence before. But because of the conditions in the apartments, people like her had their backs to the wall and could no longer move anywhere else. Both for economic reasons and for neighbourly assistance reasons etc..  And yes, then we fought with her for a long time.  And the owner didn't like that at all. He was quite annoyed by it. It was then on the verge of a solution. But word got around that she had made such a fuss, or that we had made such a fuss together, that she could get another apartment in the neighborhood through someone who recognized her and so on.  So attention is simply good. And then word got around that there are people who show solidarity in evictions. And then came the next one. It was at  Lausitzer Strasse 8, at the Gülbol family, where the first eviction was prevented by a blockade from neighbors and the bailiff looked pretty stupid, because she had never experienced anything like that before. As far as I know, that hadn't happened in Berlin for decades. And yes, it continued like that. We actually thought that this was a more or less unique story. But people have become aware of us. Other groups have sent people to us and to this day people come and we fight with them.

Moderation Radio F*:  Meanwhile the alliance has been existing for 7 years. More than 100 people have joined their actions in the course of time, have fought for a while and left again, but a core has remained, which has been fighting together for these 7 years, which is rather untypical for groups that are involved in urban politics - often they meet to work on a concrete problem and then the group dissolves again.  

Interview Alliance to Stop Evictions/Tim: Tim: Well, I think working on the same topic for many years in a political group, for many years in the same group, has the advantage that you know each other, that you can organize things much easier. And we also developping other forms, or better said, we actually got by chance into other struggles and other forms. Radio F*: What do you mean by that? Tim: Well, with one case we had started to do a neighborhood meeting at SO36 (big club in Kreuzberg). One woman had the idea and in the beginning we all thought it was crazy. Such a crowd! Such a big room. It was packed to bursting point. And out of this one neighborhood meeting, there are now 10. And then we also had some neighborhood meetings. And at some point we had the idea that we could make a bigger rent protest manifestation and word got around and so many groups were enthusiastic that we are now in a big alliance called Mieten-Wahnsinn, where two huge demos have been made so far. So these are things, which we kind of stumble into. Well, we are not planning a big demo now, we are not planning a neighborhood meeting. But when it results from the special case, we are so well attuned to each other that we can somehow manage it so playfully. And then we can also see where things are going well and how we can stay with it without having big differences. Even if there are of course different opinions: Do the neighborhood meetings make sense in the long run? Are we satisfied with them? Big ralleys have their pros and cons, which we of course also discuss, but somehow it works very well in the group.

Moderation Radio F* : We talked about the fact that the approach of the alliance is based on three levels: The struggle with the affected people, the solidarity action and the abolition of capitalism. So the alliance is not only busy preventing current evictions and participating in rent alliances and demonstrations, but is also represented at events that go beyond the topic of rent, most recently at the Black Rock Tribunal on September 26-27 in Berlin, where the globally influential financial service provider Black Rock was symbolically put on trial. Experts took a critical look at Black Rock's role in the fields of environment, economy and armaments. Sarah was also there.

Interview Alliance to Stop Evictions/Sarah: Sarah: There was this event about Black Rock. Radio F*: What is Black Rock? Sarah: Black Rock is a company that bought shares everywhere.  Shares in housing companies, shares in fossil energy companies, shares in green energy companies, shares in pension companies. They advise companies and they advise governments. You cannot escape Black Rock. In France, for example, there have now been these protests because Macron wants to privatize pensions and Black Rock is involved with it. This is the complete abolition of the common good. This is the privatization of the common good. You have the feeling that everything is being taken away from us. Radio F*: Sucked away. Sarah: Right. But on the other hand you understand that the movements - for example Ende Gelände, which protests against coal mining,  the tenants' movement, the movement against fossil fuels, the movement against climate change -  that these movements must work together to resist. That no movement can be alone. The movements must think together. No movement can cook its own soup anymore. Because you have no chance, because companies like Black Rock, dominate everything, the company has its fingers in every pie. And that's why you have to do something at all ends. Because if a movement isolates itself in these circumstances, then you have lost already.

Moderation Radio F*:  As Sarah says, we have to join forces.  The alliance is part of a Europe-wide network within the European Action Coalition of the Right of Housing  with groups from 20 countries, which deal with the issue of forced evictions in different national contexts and fight against them, e.g.  La Pah in Spain. Droit a Logement in France or A Varos Mindenkie in Hungary. Throughout  Berlin they are part of  the "Mietenwahnsinnsbündnis" (Alliance of Rent Craze), where about 40 groups are preparing the "Mietenwahnsinnsdemonstrations", the pressure of the tenants' movement is great in Berlin; people are joining forces and fighting and meanwhile there are also some achievements, for example the rental cap, whose second stage came into force at the beginning of this week. It forces landlords to cap the rent according to new regulations.

Interview Alliance to Stop Evictions/Tim Tim: However, the stock has been regulated or an attempt is made to regulate it through the rental cap. We have to see, what comes out of it. We also don't know yet, if it is at all within the frame of our constitution.  Well, it is simply that Red-Red-Green (Parties of the Government, Green Party, Social-Democratic, Socialist Party) has a different model of capitalism than Black-Red  (former government of Berlin) or Black-Yellow (conservative and liberal party of the opposition). Those (latter) simply don't give a shit. Some even sue against the rental cap. One knows that they stand against 85 percent of the people in Berlin - the tenants. Nevertheless they are still elected. One wonders why, but also Red-Red-Green is very gentle. So the rental cap is of course an answer to the real crisis that exists in the housing market, but also (an answer) to the protests. But a new "building program" worthy of the name, where one would know, that there would be so many apartments built now that all those who are looking for a home, will find one - even the 40,000 homeless people, who are now staying with some people or in some homeless shelter. Which is by the way also financing some private assholes. Nah, that doesn't happen either. But for this it is not enough. But you have to admit that just a few years ago you would never have thought that there would be something like a rent alcap. Of course, there is a difference  if Red-Red-Green or Black-Red is in power. But the rental cap only applies for five years. And it is quite clear that without us fighting and resisting further, nothing will happen in this so-called housing market and nothing will improve in our favor.

Moderation Radio F*:  People inform yourself!  Resist! Make use of your right to lower your rent, read up in the magazine of the tenant community, the Mietenecho for example (magazine of one tenant community) or go to the web pages with the  rental cap calculator mietendeckelrechner.de or mietendeckel.berlin.de  

Who if not you will fight for your rights? Join the fight to abolish evictions. Lower your rent - in your own interest and in the interest of the people who live in this city. That was Radio F* from the studio Ansage: Prevent eviction, make use of the rental cap! And we would like to end the program with a contribution to a legendary eviction, where 1000 people in Berlin Kreuzberg were mobilized for the eviction of Ali Gülbol in the Lausitzer Strasse. We say goodbye here: Bye!

Interview Alliance to Stop Evictions /Sarah (Sarah reads from a speech held at the video rally against the  eviction of the left-wing pub syndicate, august 2020): About 800 police officers were on site, the streets were closed. The subway was closed. A helicopter circles in the air, police groups in front of several entrances. Brutal evacuations from sit-in blockades, arrests, injured by pepper spray and beatings. Berlin politicians and police responded to rent protests with a state of emergency. The ones who rule do everything for property, because that is their job. But many people also do a lot against property. Hundreds are on the streets, at the blockade, at the spontaneous demos, and for hours. Neighbors brought hot tea and breakfast. Solidary protest cannot simply be crushed. Or, as the evicted Ali Gülbol said: "We are doing very badly because the eviction was carried out, but we are also doing very well because we have experienced so much solidarity. Ali Gülbol.

Jingle

Music: Ajda Pekkan /Sana Ne Kime Ne

[albapuella]

Urges

AO3

Fandom: Homestuck Summary:  When Dave finally gives into his urges, what will Karkat do?

Tags: Meteorstuck, Retcon Timeline, davekat, pov switches galore, present tense CW:  CW: hand holding, hugging, nose kisses Author’s Note:  This is a fic that I wrote in about two hours for the davekat thirst federation server after they were all being Caliborn thirsty on the main. Please note the content tags--if you're up (heh) for all this spiciness, read on. I thought result was worth sharing with the masses. Enjoy!

Dave is walking beside Karkat, glancing out of the corner of his eye at Karkat's dangling hand, the lax fingers calling out to be--

No. No, he couldn't. He shouldn’t. And yet... He tilts his head ever so slightly to see Karkat's hand better. The curve of the fingers. The tips of his yellowed claws. The thick, meaty curve of his gray palm. What would it feel like to--

Dave feels his face go hot.

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"

"oh yea of course dude but youre still wrong about dane cook"

Karkat rolls his eyes but accepts the answer before launching into another diatribe Dave can't be bothered to listen to when Karkat's hand is dangling so invitingly by his side.

He can't. He shouldn't.

Before he can stop himself, he reaches out for Karkat's hand, the warmth of it beneath his fingers even more wonderful than he'd thought it be. His fingers wrap around Karkat's stiff startled ones; their palms meet.

---

Karkat is walking beside Dave, going into detail about the superiority of the comic stylings of Dane Cook, when he feels another hand grabbing his own. It's so sudden, he hardly knows how to react even as he feels fingers intertwining with his own.

He stops walking. His throat is dry and he swallows hard before turning his head. There's only one person who can be holding his hand, but it's impossible. Dave's not interested in him. Not like *that*.

But he turns and looks. Pale fingers interlaced with his own gray, leading up to an arm clad in red God Tier pajamas. A shoulder connected to a neck. A neck to a face.

At least Dave has the decency to be blushing, too. He doesn't have the decency to actually look in Karkat's direction. Instead, he squeezes Karkat's hand.

"DAVE?"

Dave is silent. Then he turns his head, the smallest hint of a smile curving his thin lips. "sup"

---

Karkat says his name, and it's not a rejection. It's not a rejection, but it's a question. Karkat's face is flushed but confused. He isn't trying to pull his hand free, but he isn't returning the gesture.

Dave is worried now, worried he's pushed too far too quickly. He has to do something. He smiles, trying to ignore the nervous flutters in his chest. "sup"

Karkat scowls. "WHY-WHY ARE YOU HOLDING MY HAND, DIPSHIT?" The stutter tells Dave he's as affected as Dave is, and despite the harshness of the words, he still allows his hand to remain in Dave's grasp.

Dave feels a swell of hope. "it was asking to be held dude i dont make the rules" He shouldn't. He's done too much already. But Karkat's so close now, his yellow and gray eyes wide. Dave can see himself reflected in his dark pupils.

Feeling reckless, Dave uses his free hand to lift up his glasses so he can see Karkat in full light. His eyes are even more beautiful without the dingy, gray haze.

---

Dave pushes his stupid douche shades up, leaving them up in his blonde hair. Karkat isn't certain what is more incredible: that Dave is still still holding his hand or that Dave has willingly, of his own accord, allowed Karkat to see his eyes.

Karkat has seen them before, of course. He's caught glimpses of them from the corner of Dave's shades. Seen flashes of them when they've been knocked askew. But he's never been given the opportunity to really look at them. Certainly, Dave's never let him look.

He's so lost in the moment, he's speaking before he can censor himself. "THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL."

Dave ducks his head, his flush traveling down his neck. He holds Karkat's hand a little tighter. "thank you" he says in an awkward way that tells Karkat Dave doesn't get many compliments. "im gonna get crazy here so hear me out" He takes a deep breath. "can i... can i--" He's turned his body to face Karkat's head on. "i wanna hug you can that happen"

For once in his life, Karkat takes initiative. Before Dave is even quite done speaking, he's closed the space between them, wrapping his free arm around Dave's middle.

Dave makes a startled sound but recovers quickly, and almost too quickly, Dave's arm is wrapped around Karkat's middle, too. Their entwined hands loosen and separate, allowing those arms to join the hug as well.

Karkat smells soap and a hint of sweat. And it's warm, so warm. The only hugs Karkat had ever had, had ever endured, had been cold. He'd never hugged Aradia, but he knows that even her embrace would have been cool. But Dave is warm.

He sighs against the other boy's shoulder, relaxing further into Dave's arms. He feels breath on his cheek; it smells like coffee.

This can't last forever, Karkat knows this. He knows that this experiment of Dave's will end, but he can enjoy it while it lasts.

---

For what feels like the longest time, Dave can only marvel at the fact that Karkat is in his arms. The troll boy is hugging him, pressing against him, as relaxed as Dave has ever seen him be. Dave feels a rush of pride that Karkat trusts him enough for this. He feels a rush of shame that he waited so long to ask for this.

He tightens his hold on Karkat as though that will keep this moment from ending.

His face is close, so close to Karkat's.

Dave has never been good at knowing when to quit. He's never known when to be satisfied. He brings his face that much closer to Karkat's, brings his nose closer to the gray nose.

They touch. Dave moves his head and gently rubs his nose against Karkat's.

---

Karkat doesn't react at first. He's mostly confused about what the fuck Dave is up to. As far as he can tell, Dave is rubbing his nose with his own nose. It's not unpleasant, just unfamiliar. It feels... it feels intimate.

He closes his eyes, wishing Dave would stop, wishing that he wouldn't. What is Dave getting out of this? Is Karkat just convenient or--

There is no or. Dave wanted to do this with someone, and Karkat is someone. That's it. He ducks his head away from Dave's, burying it into his shoulder.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS WITH ME?"

Dave stills. Then he says, "i want to man thought i was making that pretty obvious" He chuckles, his chin pressing into Karkat's own shoulder. "karkat youre pretty baller you know"

He'd never thought Dave would be so good at acting.

---

Dave isn't expecting it when Karkat pushes away from him with a rough shove. "karkat--?"

Karkat's mouth is twisted into a vicious snarl even as his eyes fill with ruddy tears. "FUCK YOU, DAVE." He wipes the tears away with trembling fists. "IF YOU'RE GOING TO USE ME, AT LEAST DO ME THE FUCKING COURTESY OF NOT LYING TO MY FACE ABOUT IT."

"what" Dave is utterly lost.

"DON'T 'what' ME, ASSHOLE." He crosses his arms, the anger on his face crumbling into a hurt that stabs Dave in the gut. "I ONLY HAVE A PASSING UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT 'BALLER' MEANS, BUT I KNOW YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN ME. SO, DO ME A FAVOR, AND STOP PRETENDING YOU ARE."

Dave has spent enough time with Karkat to tell when he's about to bolt, and Dave can't let him go until he clears this up. He grabs Karkat's hand again. "dude karkat listen to me im not lying" To his relief, Karkat doesn't pull his hand away. To his worry, Karkat folds in on himself, his head bowing and his shoulders slumping.

"I'M PAN ADDLED ENOUGH TO LET YOU TAKE WHAT YOU WANT," Karkat says, sounding defeated. "JUST DON'T PRETEND YOU ACTUALLY LIKE ME. I DON'T THINK IT'S TOO MUCH TO ASK."

---

Karkat can't look at Dave now, too embarrassed, too desperate. He should have just kept his mouth shut for once. Should have just enjoyed what little scraps Dave was willing to throw him. Dave is still holding his hand.

"i want you to listen to me" Dave is saying, his voice soft. His other hand strokes the top of Karkat's knuckles as he speaks. "im not using you thats hella gross and id be all kinds of insulted that youd think that but i dont want to make this about me when its about you" Karkat hears him take a deep breath. "im gonna lay it on the line ok i like like you a lot."

"YOU LIKE LIKE ME?" Karkat hates himself for the hope in his voice. He's not entirely certain what "like like"ing means, but he's gathered it's more than being hate-friends. Yes, he and Dave have been getting along better, but he knows Dave only tolerates him because they're both lonely. That's all.

"yea like we're peak middle school up in here passing notes to each other," Dave is clearly gearing up for a ramble, and Karkat smiles despite himself, "do you like me or like like me but weve got to keep it on the downlow so the teacher doesnt notice and find our note because our reps will never survive if she reads it to the class and she will because thats how teachers roll"

"I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE CLUSTERFUCK YOU HUMANS CALL AN EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM," Karkat says and, for a moment, it's like nothing's changed. Then reality falls in again. "YOU MEAN THAT?" He is such an idiot. Such a fucking idiot.

---

The way Karkat asks Dave if he means what he says is almost enough to break him. If he weren't such a stone cold bad-ass, he's certain he'd be bawling now, too. Even so, he wishes he could put his shades back down without Karkat thinking he's hiding his eyes so he can lie better.

"yea dog i mean it i dont lie about important shit."

Karkat has always been an open book, emotions-wise. It'd probably be more helpful if Dave were better at emotions himself, but he can see that Karkat wants to believe him. It's something. "we dont gotta do anything different if you dont want im chill just hanging with you," he says, hoping against hope it doesn't come to that: he wants to hug Karkat again, and he hopes the troll boy will let him. "but i want to... i want to hug you because youre you youre like special ok"

A disbelieving huff. "YOU THINK I'M SPECIAL."

Dave nods. "karkat vantas is totally one of a kind" Well, that just isn't true, is it? "i mean there are a fuck ton of you out there in the dream bubbles but i meant more like metaphorically in that this version of you is the you im interested in hugging and stuff"

---

Karkat almost can't believe how charmed he is by this idiot. Almost. Maybe Dave is lying, but maybe Karkat isn't being fair. The more he thinks about it, the more he thinks maybe that's true. Considering what he was accusing Dave of wanting to do, he's fairly floored that the human boy still wants anything to do with him.

He looks down at his hand still held between both of Dave's. Then he looks up at Dave's face, at his still uncovered eyes, and makes a decision. "OKAY."

Dave blinks. "ok" The corner of his mouth quirks upwards. "ok"

Karkat rolls his eyes. "YES, THAT'S WHAT I SAID. I'M GLAD THAT YOUR AURAL CLOTS ARE STILL FULLY FUNCTIONAL."

"you have got the weirdest names for things you know that just say ears its so much shorter"

Before he can come up with a suitably scathing remark, he's being hugged again.

Oh.

He sighs and returns the hug. He could get used to this. He thinks he already is.

FIN

End Note:  Sorry. I could not add in the kissing--it was just too lewd.

[ghostyprince]

wrap me up, with your heart

word count: 3.537 rating: T fandom: BuzzF. Uns. relationship: Ryan B./Shane M. summary:  Ryan's a little shit with a weakness to the cold weather (and Shane's jacket) and Shane isn't as tough against it anymore as he'd like to think. author’s note: 3.5k of nothing but pure self-indulgent fluff that took too long to write and now i’m just happy i don’t have to look at it anymore tbh, but enjoy!

[READ ON AO3]

Or read more here

"I'm fucking cold," Ryan says, arms wrapped around himself, grasping at the sleeves of his thin sweater with icy fingers as they're walking back to their hotel after a long, long filming session in a supposedly haunted prison. It wasn't much warmer in there either, but Ryan was too on edge at the moment to care. But boy, did he care now, late at night, probably like one in the fucking morning in the middle of Pennsylvania in November as his ears and fingertips are about to fall off.

Shane immediately lifts his gaze off his phone to look at Ryan. He looks cozy, sporting a soft-looking beanie and his farmer jacket that he always seems to have around, and yeah, Ryan is a little bit jealous. But he knows it won't take long if he plays his cards just right. Shane's eyes narrow and he pockets his phone and yep, there it comes. "I told you, man. Told you to put on something warmer. But no," he drags out the last word while he pulls the hat off his head and straight onto Ryan's with a swift motion, maybe a bit more rough than the situations calls for. It does make Ryan yelp and wheeze out a laugh immediately after, though.

"You have to be the cool manly man who's never cold. When we all know that's a bunch of bullshit, little guy." He huffs, genuinely annoyed and Ryan has seen it many many times but it never fails to amuse him and also make his heart flutter.

Shane takes off his jacket too, pushing it into Ryan's hands who only hesitates for a moment before putting it on. Purely for show, like it wasn't what he was fucking playing at ever since they stepped out of their hotel rooms that evening.

"To be fair, it wasn't that cold when we started filming."

Ryan does up all the buttons, feeling warmer already. Shane's jacket fits him just right to be one of the most comfortable things in the world, just a tad too big, considering how much shorter he is than the big guy. Though, Ryan's opinion might be biased.

And then Ryan catches a whiff of Shane's cologne and something that's just so Shane. It clings to the jacket and it will cling to Ryan too for the rest of the night. Which was the goal all along. It was Ryan's idea to check out this fast food place, tell Shane he wants to walk, to see the city, and complain about being cold eventually so Shane would baby him like he always does. All part of his stupid plan that seems to work flawlessly every single time somehow.

"No, it wasn't. However, I don't know if you know this Ryan," Shane leans to whisper like he's sharing a secret as they're walking and Ryan is already losing it, giggling helplessly into the back of his hand, "But you can use your big detective brain to figure out that it will be cold later at night."

"Shut up, Shane. I thought I would be fine, okay?" Ryan grins, tugging the sleeves of Shane's jacket over his hands even more.

"You always do. I'm starting to think you're doing this on purpose." Shane teases him, hands stuffed into his pockets. Ryan's heart jumps into his throat immediately. Maybe after about a year of intentionally leaving his jackets and warm clothes at the bottom of his suitcase or not packing any in the first place, Shane had finally caught on.

Despite the dread settling in Ryan's stomach he almost hopes he got caught. Just so he could get that push he desperately needed in the last year to finally confront his feelings, getting rejected or not. This awkward and albeit creepy flirting needed to stop, Ryan knew that much, but couldn't bring himself to actually end it yet. TJ and Devon knew too. They witnessed a handful of these scenarios and all it took was one glance at Ryan's shit-eating grin over Shane's scarf wrapped around his neck to figure out what's going. Shane's the only one who's so goddamn oblivious to it all.

"Are you telling me that you're not freezing to death in that flannel?" Ryan asks eventually, elegantly pushing the subject to another direction.

"Nope!" Shane answers cheerily. "It's pretty nice actually. You're just a wimp who got spoiled on the constant warmth of L.A."

"We all can't be weird cryptids who are immune to the cold, big guy." Shane laughs softly at that and bumps his shoulder to Ryan's. They're walking impossibly close now, and Ryan is tempted, he's so tempted to reach for Shane's hand. Blame it on the cold, wrap Shane's hand around his, let it warm him up from the inside out. Instead, he stuffs his hands deeper into the jacket. He's already seeing the entrance of their hotel, it doesn't matter now. It's not because he's a coward. It's not, it's just wasn't the right time. It's all not a big deal until Shane gets sick a day or two after they arrive back home in L.A. He doesn't show up to work in the usual time, so naturally, Ryan gets worried and shoots him a text when Shane is approximately an hour late, asking if everything is alright.

He gets a reply shortly, three lines sent in separate messages and he rolls his eyes at the dramatic nature of them, but then again, it's very Shane.

im so fuckin sick rxan i thing im dying take care of obi for me please

Shane has been complaining about his throat being sore and being a bit out of it. It's probably just a nasty cold, nothing to be worried about. At the same time, Ryan can't help but think he's at least partially to blame.

He rarely felt guilty for stealing Shane's warm clothes, because Shane kept bragging about how the cold doesn't affect him at all, that he's just peachy wearing only a thick jumper in the middle of a heavy snowfall. And well, Ryan believed him, took the offered jacket and scarf or gloves in spite of Shane making fun of his 'delicate skin'. He even thought Shane deserved to be cold, that asshole.

But now Shane has to miss work and feel like shit because he acted like a fucking child, instead of fessing up to his attraction and asking Shane on a date like a proper 28-year-old grown-ass man would.

Sure, it was Shane who offered his clothes all the time and without hesitation, however, Ryan was the one taking advantage of it. So he's going make up for his stupidity right now, it's decided. He doesn't have to worry about work, he can do the editing at home that day, it wouldn't be the first time.

Ryan's determination and confidence instantly disappeared into the void as he was standing in front of Shane's apartment, hesitant to knock or move or breathe. He has no idea what happened, he was doing so well up until this point. Sure, he spent like ten minutes in his car, frantically googling chicken soup recipes and being on the hunt for the best and easiest one to prepare.

He ended up going with an instant pack from the grocery store he stopped at on the way to Shane's apartment because he figured it's not the most convenient time to experiment in a kitchen that's not even his. He bought some popcorn too while he was there, the kind he knew Shane loved. It might not be the best choice of food when he's sick, but he can have it later.

He may or may not have gotten this ridiculous looking hot dog-shaped keychain for him also, sporting big googly eyes. That's how fucking guilty Ryan feels. He also thought it was absolutely disgusting, so naturally, he knew Shane would love it.

To be honest, Ryan never once stopped to think that maybe showing up to Shane's apartment out of the blue, when he's most likely feeling miserable and just wants to be left alone is overstepping a line. That maybe it's a little too much, even if they're as close as they are. Just a tad bit. He just went on his own little quest to do anything that would make Shane feel better and to ease the guilt that keeps twisting his stomach into knots without any regards at all to what Shane wants.

So he backs into the wall across Shane's door and fishes out his phone to send him a text, praying to every god he knows that he's not sleeping. To Ryan's absolute relief the little 'seen' pops up under his message shortly after it's been sent.

is it okay if i come over? bring you some soup and shit?

you don't have to

Ryan's heart sank into his fucking stomach and jumped back up to his throat with the same intensity as another message was sent.

but i could use some food. too sick to make anything.

well im kinda already here dude

gimme a minute

-

Shane scrambled to his feet, and apparently, it was the worst thing he could've done because everything went black for a few moments as he caught himself on the back on the couch with one hand. He has no time to worry about almost blacking out though because Ryan is waiting outside his car probably and Shane's apartment is as disgusting as he himself feels. He picks up most of the tissue paper that's scattered all across the couch and floor.

A small trail of them leads to the bedroom where Shane dragged himself out of earlier, a soft blanket wrapped around his shoulders like the world's most pathetic superhero just to watch some cooking show on Netflix because it requires the least amount of brain cells for him to use at the moment.

He attempts to make the couch look acceptable and runs a hand through his hair a few times, but it simply can't be helped. He does make his place look just a tiny bit more decent than it was five minutes ago at least. And that's when the knocks came from his door.

Ryan stands there, as Shane opened the door, hands stuffed into his jeans and paper bag hanging from one of his wrists. Shane would've taken note of his awkwardness if he wasn't so hyper-aware of the way his hair is standing in every direction and how he's wearing one of the less nice pajama pants he owns and an old worn t-shirt.

But then Ryan smiles at him, just like he always does like he's just happy to see Shane even when he's at his lowest and suddenly everything seems a little brighter.

"Hey, I thought you could use a little cheering up and something to make you feel better," says Ryan, almost sheepishly. He lifts the paper bag and giving it a shake. "Got you popcorn too, but you're not allowed to have any until you're better."

Shane frowns at him and honest to God pouts. It's the most hilarious, adorable thing Ryan has ever seen.

"Thought you came here to make me feel better, not kick a man when he's down, but come in, I suppose." He sighs, stepping aside and letting Ryan in who just barely catches the crinkle to his eyes and the mischievous smile Shane couldn't hold back anymore.

Ryan makes a beeline for the kitchen, immediately finding a pot so he can make Shane some soup and hoping it doesn't seem like he's doing this out of guilt. He's just helping his best friend out, not feeling horrible at all about how Ryan's shitty flirting technique got him sick in the first place. Nope.

Shane takes a seat at the dining table, chin propped up in his hand and watching Ryan bustle around in his kitchen. Reaching for a spoon without even having to look and standing on his tippy toes to grab a bowl from the top shelf, knowing exactly where they are. Like he's at home.

The sudden rush of fondness hits Shane like a sack of potatoes at the sight of it. The sheer domesticity of it nearly makes his heart melt.

Shane almost stands to help, but it's not needed, so he just huffs out a tiny laugh and wheezes a bit harder when he starts grumbling about "fucking Sasquatch putting everything on the top shelf on purpose". This is exactly one of the many reasons why Shane adores him so much.

And when Ryan still turns to grin at him, like he always does, even if he's being fake pissy, Shane physically has to stop himself from getting up and just kissing him silly right there. He distracts himself with getting the popcorn out of the bag and that's when he spots the little keychain. A big grin finds itself onto his face as he traces a thumb across the little charm. It's cheap-looking and fucking ridiculous but Shane couldn't give a single fuck, he is so in love.

"Really?" He asks voice strained from trying not to laugh. He holds up the keychain, hooking it on his middle finger and dangling it when Ryan turns to look. He immediately rolls his eyes and oh man, he's definitely blushing, it doesn't matter he's turning away, doing his best hide it, Shane still catches a glimpse of it spreading out on his cheeks and ears beautifully.

"Look, your stupid animated food series ruined my life and I know you have zero taste, so it's a perfect gift." Ryan wouldn't meet his eyes, but Shane can see part of his smile, hears the waver of his voice, despite Ryan being so defensive about the stupid keychain.

"Thank you, Ryan. I like it a lot."

The sincerity which he said that with even surprised Shane, not to mention Ryan, who almost spilled the hot noodles all over himself while attempting to pour them into a bowl.

-

"Why are you here? Not that I don't appreciate the food and treating me like a princess, I sure do, I'm just curious." Shane says, much later, when he's all wrapped up in his soft blanket, belly full of soup.

Which was mediocre at best, but Shane was starving, too sick and lazy to make himself anything earlier, so that damn soup tasted like the most delicious thing he ever had. Of course, it has nothing to do with the fact that Ryan made it for him.

Ryan turns his head towards him now, and Shane's a little taken aback by how close they are. Not even ten minutes earlier Ryan was sitting on the other end of the couch, and now they're practically pressed up against each other, from legs to shoulders, the only barrier between them being Shane's blanket. He must've migrated there while they were having a heated discussion about the contestants of the British Bake Off. (Ryan always picks the worst fucking people, goddammit.)

Shane can't believe he hadn't noticed the warmth of Ryan next to him earlier, or the whiff of that cologne Ryan always used lately Shane learned to love. Now that he's very much aware of it, the heat radiating off of Ryan is almost too much, combined with the blanket, so he shrugs it off. If anything, it's worse because Ryan's bare arm is now completely pressed against his and Shane's heart takes that as an excuse to pick up the pace.

"Because you're my friend? I just- I wanted to make sure you're okay. Wouldn't want you to die because of a little cold, what would happen to Unsolved?" Ryan jokes, playing it cool and casual. If Shane wouldn't know him extremely well, maybe he'd even buy what he's selling.

"Sure, that makes sense. Except, all those other times I've been sick you just gave me a 'gross, keep your germs away from me, please' or a half-hearted 'get better, dude'. You never showed up in my apartment and cooked for me. I didn't even know you knew how to work a stove!" Shane grins at him brightly. Seems like they can't have a normal conversation without insulting each other. "How do you explain that, Ry-guy?"

Shane doesn't expect Ryan to go quiet and stare at his hands, the TV, the ceiling. Anywhere but right at Shane. And he doesn't expect the guilt written all over Ryan's face when he does finally meet Shane's eyes.

"First of all, I don't sound like that. And second- I'm not proud of this, okay? Just don't be too mad." Shane's about to open his mouth and ask what the living hell Ryan is talking about, but he gets cut off.

"You're sick because of me. You kept giving me your jacket, remember?"

Shane does remember, but he has no idea what that has to do with him getting sick?

"Ryan, how is that your fault? I was the one giving you my jacket cause you're so goddamn cold all the time. You didn't force me. And here I thought I was the one who tends to overthink."  Shane says jokingly, and he immediately realizes they're having one of those rare Serious Conversations because Ryan doesn't laugh. If anything, he looks even more on edge,  his hand fisting into the blanket pooled around Shane's hips.

"I didn't force you," Ryan repeats, still not quite meeting Shane's eyes. "but I did leave my warm clothes at the hotel on purpose."

Ryan shuts his eyes as soon as the words leave his lips. If he can't see Shane, Shane can't see him, right? He almost looks relieved, finally putting it out there, lifting the weight of it off of his shoulders. And he can't stop there now, he has to push through while he's on a roll.

With a sudden surge of bravery Ryan doesn't know where he mustered up from he looks right into Shane's eyes, takes in his utterly confused expression and flat out ignores it for now, even when dread grips at his heart. It's worse than any haunted place they've been, but he's gonna say what he has to say right now, fear of rejection be damned.

"I wanted your clothes because I love- liked how it made me smell just like you." He says, voice cracking despite all the determination and courage he could muster up to say it. Ryan closes his eyes then, waiting for Shane's judgment. He braces himself for the outcome, for Shane to call him creepy, or even ask him to leave.

His heart would break, oh yeah, it sure fucking would but he could do it, he could walk out of his life if Shane would ask him to. There was very little Ryan wouldn't do for him.

It's dead silent around them for about a minute, thanks to one of them pausing the baking show while they were talking. Just as Ryan's about to open his eyes and face the situation, Shane's lips pressed against his in a split second.

It's a soft kiss in general, but it could be so much better, so much more if Ryan wouldn't be so damn difficult. As soon as Shane's mouth brushed against his, Ryan flinched back, even letting out a yelp, because he was just caught off guard, alright?

And Shane was looking at him now, embarrassed, like he did something wrong and oh God, Ryan can't have that, absolutely not. So he reaches out, not paying any mind to the uptick of his heart as he practically crashes their lips together.

Shane makes a surprised, muffled sound and shortly turning his head out of the kiss, fucking wheezing at him while Ryan's about to jump out of his skin. However, it soon turns into a coughing session and another pang of guilt hits Ryan's chest. At least Shane's smiling when he can finally speak again, eyes all crinkly. Ryan has the urge to kiss him again.

"Yeah, let's not do that unless you want me to choke." Shane's unfairly big hand comes up to cup his cheek and the way Ryan leans into the touch immediately says a lot about how gone he is for Shane. "Besides, wouldn't want you to get sick. I'm absolutely not dealing with your whiny ass."

"You're such a dick, Shane." Ryan barks out a laugh that maybe sounds a bit hysterical, but just as relieved. It's also not so much of an insult when it's said with all the fondness in the world.

We're okay, Ryan thinks, one leg draped over Shane's lap. They're basically pressed against each other as much as they can. Shane's arm fits perfectly around him as if it belongs there. Shane won't kick him out, they're more than okay.

And sure, Ryan moves to get up and move to the other end of the couch, or fucking leave every five minutes, refusing to put up with Shane's bullshit and terrible choices in bakers. But Shane grabs his wrist every single time, pulling him close and not letting go, even when his side hurts from laughing and Ryan wheezes into his neck.

[feyseoktan]

alllllllright! hi, everybody! i’m parrish, and i’m super-duper pumped to be here! this here is my mess of a boy, seoktan, but you can feel free to call him tan, as he prefers that. here you’ll find his bio + his stats. below the cut, i’ve left a few plot points to help get things rolling! i’m very excited to start writing with you all! yaaaay. 

EDIT: oh my goD, i forgot to mention, if you want to plot, you can im me here, or you can ask for my discord (i’m definitely easier to reach there, especially as i return to retail hell tomorrow), and i’ll give you that! THANKS! 

THE DEVIL ON HIS SHOULDER (0/? m:f): Tan is a very defiant person, and he’s not down with rules. Mostly, he ignores what his father says, but he also seeks to embarrass the family name because of how much his father tries to control him. This means we party, we drink, we smoke, we get high, we do whatever we can to be a disgrace. Be his enabler. Be the devil on his shoulder. Provide him with party invites, or ask him to go drinking. He’ll be fun. I promise.

THE ANGEL ON HIS OTHER SHOULDER (0/? m:f): Let’s face it-- Tan needs someone to pull him back. He needs someone to be there to try to tell him no, and that enough is enough. He needs a sweetheart to look him in the eyes and tell him kindly that his path is not the best. This is the kind affection of someone who cares. Tan cares back, but does he care enough to listen? WILDCARD.

THE MEANER ANGEL, WHACKING HIM UPSIDE HIS HEAD (0/? m:f): Like the sweeter angel, this one is a bit more forceful with their attempts of making Tan act less wild. Angry fits of rage at his drunken behavior, yelling at him when he has a hangover just to be a nuisance, yet still holding out the aspirin bottle because they just care that much. Tan is annoyed, but secretly grateful.

THE BURNED ONES (0/2 f): Tan’s had a couple of potential arranged marriages since he’s come of age, but each one he’s managed to scare away, due to rudeness, or coldness, or even straight up rejecting them to their faces. They could’ve either been pleased that Tan did that, having not wanted in the marriage themselves, or they could hate him for having been such an asshole (It’s fine. We understand. He is one).

THE NEW POTENTIAL (0/1 f): Despite Tan’s best efforts, his father has recently brought in yet another potential arranged marriage. He’s warned Tan to be nice to this one, but Tan, of course, is not listening to his father’s words. Not in private, at least. On their set-up dates, he’s Mr. Asshole. He’s trying to push her away, and he’s trying to do it quickly. Maybe he’s attracted to her, but he’s certainly not going to be settling down with anyone his father’s picked for him. How this plays out is up for conversation! 

THE ANTAGONISTIC (0/? m:f): With a mouth on him, and the tendency to yell when he’s fully pissed off, Tan’s sure to have gathered a crowd of people who hate him, but love to argue with him. Trivial nonsense, such as bothering him about what he’s worn today, to more serious topics they might’ve heard through the grapevine, this person is a bane of Tan’s existence. Tension ensues. 

THE FWB (1/? m:f): Tan’s drunk? Sex. Tan’s high? Sex. A friend to do it with? Convenient! It’s an easy way to get off when he needs to, and they’re 100% in agreement that it’s just that, nothing more. It’s to release tension, when stress gets too high. It’s just for fun, if they’re hanging out and bored. A bit of a ‘do you wanna make out?’, and then they do. No strings attached. Just best friends having a good time. 

THE UNADULTERATED HATRED (0/? m:f): SOMEONE is going to hate him, point blank. Whether it be because of his cocky attitude, his ability to fuck people over emotionally, or maybe just the fact that he’s a different species, he’s bound to have loads of these. He’s not much of a physical fighter, but he’ll certain throw some quips, and maybe some spells your way.