#and im here like ????? this is genuinely so on brand for me you guys just dont get my brand

[dzozef]

one thing that i love about myself is that my personal aesthetic, fashion sense, hobbies and personality all go together perfectly well and kinda make sense.... and then theres just this insane obsession with joseph joestar added on to it randomly that just gives my whole life a different vibe

[danibeanie]

ASTROLOGY Placements in a chart I ADORE

-libra moons

they are such flirty individuals and I love how balanced they are when it comes to their emotions. literally quirky people 😭 the woman are very pretty and the men are lowkey big flirts but my gemini placements like it hahaha

-scorpio risings

THE REALEST OF THE REAL these people are intense and even though they “look” intimidating. they are just squishy balls of squishy squish. they carry that aura cause they’ve gone thru shi!

-leo suns

Y’all really do light up a room and I’m all here for it. I love these people because they share their light with you and always hype you up whenever and wherever 🥺

-aries sun

another fire sign… it’s cause I don’t have any fire in my chart yall☹️ but these people are direct and they will tell you how it is. they don’t give a f what other people think about them and that’s what I love about them the most 💟

-cancer venus

you guys need to be protected forever and ever… the kindest people ever and so giving. they do have a hard time letting go🥲 when they love you it’s so genuine.

-virgo mercury

y’all can keep up with my banter as a gemini mercury I enjoy being goofy with these people and always have the best conversations with them. They are very attentive to the small details which is so important.

-gemini venus

im a gemini venus so this is very on brand of me lmao but if you get it - you get, if you don’t- you don’t 😭😭😭

capricorn moons

you guys are so reserved and so wise at the same time. every cap moon I know is a workaholic and I admire their work ethic sm❤️‍🔥 the shyest people I’ve met but that makes you want to protect them even more.

scorpio mars

their intensity is unmatched, you can just feel their desire for you, IF their interested in you.

[thewertsearch]

GT: Well ive thought about it. GT: Even went downstairs to check the great vaulty doodad. GT: And predictably the infernal contraption is nowhere to be found. TT: Well yeah, Jake. TT: That's sort of the point. TT: Thrill of the hunt and all.

Ok, I think I get what's going on here.

Jake's Dreambot is probably the last remaining source of uranium on the entire island, and the AR is turning its retrieval into a game of hide-and-seek.

I'm not sure why Jake hadn't already retrieved this particular chunk of uranium, especially since he has no use for the robot himself. Maybe he was keeping it operational for sentimental reasons?

TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. […] GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome. GT: I just prefer the idea of adventures which i can actually win.

Jake's picturing a LIVING GRANDSON SMACKDOWN - and, frankly, so am I. That robot's being piloted by an absurdly advanced AI, and I'm pretty sure Jake doesn't have any combat experience.

Winning, in this case, is shorthand for 'waiting for the AR to take pity on you'.

TT: It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me. Are you pussying out on me, Jake?

Now, to be fair, that one would only work if Jake had agreed to this challenge beforehand. After all, you can't pussy out of something you never pussied into.

GT: It seems it seems it seems!!! GT: It seems there is a million percent chance that you say it seems way too much and do it just to sound more like a lame robot from a movie and also probably just to piss me off! […] TT: Have you ever stopped to think that while I may be bound to processes inside the glasses of a real and incredibly cool guy, my algorithms in cognitive totality comprise a conscious entity not far short of the experiential and emotional complexity of a human being? GT: Oh malarkey. GT: YOU ARE A TIN CAN. ROBOTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS.

Jake, it's been sixty seconds since you complained about him pretending not to have feelings.

TT: I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them. TT: It sucks. GT: Oh. GT: Um. GT: Im sorry then if thats the case.

Well, that's something, at least - but I don't think Jake really understands why the AR is offended, so I'm worried it's just going to happen again in their next argument.

How long has the Responder existed for, anyway? Jake seems familiar with his schtick, so he's probably not brand-new - but at the same time, Jake's surprised apology makes it sound like the AR has only recently started to express feelings.

Maybe the AR has existed for years, but hasn't been sentient for years. Like, it really did just start as a primitive response script, but Bro kept uploading more of his personality onto it, until it slowly began to think and feel. Fascinating idea, I have to say.

GT: It can just be difficult to drum up sympathy for a program that presents itself as an impostor so often. GT: Maybe if you werent so ready to insist you were the genuine article all the time? Or didnt make it so confusing for me… GT: I think it would be best if we henceforth treated you as a totally distinct… uh… THING from my buddy.

Hey, it's not like the AR can stop imitating Bro. Even if he wanted to have his own identity, he's currently bound to the response script of someone else's Pesterchum account. When he talks, he's forced to do it through Bro's handle.

All evidence points to the Responder being a thinking, feeling being with his own inner world - which makes it a little ethically dubious to force him to be Bro's secretary. The guy shouldn't be treated as a bargain-bin Bro, the same way that Davesprite wasn't a backup Dave. We all saw how that ended, and it sure wasn't pretty.

[uceyliyahh]

FRIENDS

Summary: “Heart on your sleeve like you've never been loved,” After being in an abusive relationship Imani decided to close herself off until she gets drafted over to the Raw Brand bumping into her best friend Jimmy as she started to catch feelings for him, but will her heart let her fall for him?

Jimmy Uso x Imani Blackwood

word count: 5432

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

Again mdni you have been warned.

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️ @pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign @ctinadiva @celesteheartsjey @duhitzkay380 @luuvprincess @bunnnyyys @mzv11 @nbanenefrmdao @xbriexx @prettyfilmz @usoinked

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic @clubsoft @sharmelasworld @mjonthetrack @serenity-noble @alyyaanna @animellver

@hunnidmilly @ctinadiva @charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @luvrsluxe @4milly @xbriexx @trippinsorrows @yyaktayak @yana3sworld @theusotwinzcom @bossbitch-22

Ø6

FLASHBACK 6 Imani has been putting in a tremendous amount of effort to pursue her dreams of becoming a wrestler and an emerging artist. As she strives to stay focused on her career, she realizes that her progress has improved without the surrounding drama related to Jordan, who she hasn't heard from in a while. This silence has left her feeling a bit uneasy, but she is determined to keep moving forward.

She refused to let it bother her, focusing instead on the song she was crafting in the studio during her day off. As she immersed herself in her work, she felt her phone vibrate. Glancing at the screen, she noticed that Zilla had called, so she decided to answer.

OTP Isayah📌: yooo mani what's hannin Mani💫: heyy um nothing much just working on a song that I've been working on lately hbu Isayah📌: at work you know same old same old Mani💫: yeah I feel you on that one Isayah📌: but that's not why I called you tho Mani💫: what's up? Isayah📌: Jordan's homeboys came into the place looking for you and I told them that you weren't here Mani💫: what?? Isayah📌: Yeah, they tried to get aggressive with me but as soon as I reach for my bag they scary asses left in a heartbeat Mani💫: sigh I'm sorry all of this is happening rn Isayah📌: Mani it's not your fault you're just trying to live your life and it seems like Jordan doesn't seem to pleased Mani💫: fuck that nigga he's tryna make my life miserable because he's not apart of it I'm just tired of it Z Isayah📌: I understand fasho that's why I tell you if you need anything I'm here hell the whole fam gotchu fasho. Mani💫: I appreciate it honestly you guys are like the most supportive family I could ever have Isayah📌: you know we gotchu Mani but I gotta go I'll ttyl? Mani💫: yeah ttyl

CALLED ENDED

Imani let out a heavy sigh, wishing for a swift resolution to the turmoil with Jordan. She felt weary of his aggressive and manipulative behavior, all stemming from her desire to move forward in her life.

Even if she were to find a new partner, she would likely end up pushing them away because of Jordan. His erratic behavior was genuinely frightening—so much so that she feared he might harm anyone who got too close to her, and that thought filled her with dread.

She felt the need to maintain her defenses and safeguard her heart, ensuring that she wouldn’t allow herself to fall in love with anyone because of him and him alone.

She will always find herself in solitude.

FLASHBACK OVER.

OMNISCIENT

uceyjucey, kehlani_wwe, zillafatu, and others liked your post.

manimon: Sexy Lil Thang🖤 uceyjucey: okay I see you Mani manimon: @ uceyjucey thank you 🫶🏽 kehlani_wwe: my bestie is eating yall girlies up fasho 💗😩 manimon: @ kehlani_wwe let them know 🙂‍↕️ zillafatu: Maniii 🫶🏽 trinity_fatu: she not even all that fr kehlani_wwe: @ trinity_fatu girl don't get beat tf up hoeslovejordan: you my sexy lil thang mama fuck that bitch ass Samoan he can't treat right like I can uceyjucey: @ hoeslovejordan gtfo with allat dawg hoeslovejordan: @ uceyjucey nigga fuck you and yo' bitch ass brother 😒 uceyjucey: @ hoeslovejordan aight bet that up bitch

Read all comments.

Imani had just wrapped up her match against Nia, securing another victory. As she settled into her locker room, preparing for her interview with Jackie about her aspirations for the rest of the year, she heard a knock at the door. She called out, inviting the person to enter.

She turned around as soon as she heard the door click shut, and her face lit up with a smile when she saw Jey standing there. With a sense of warmth, she continued to gather her belongings for the night.

She hadn't received any messages from Jimmy since their last conversation. Lately, she noticed he had been sharing a lot more about his girlfriend, Trinity, and for some strange reason, it stirred up some unease within her. Still, she tried to push those feelings aside.

She finished packing her belongings into her bag, focusing all her attention on Jey.

"What's up Joshua?" She spoken.

"I was just checking in on you, to see if you were okay." Jey said as Imani nodded her head.

"I'm okay, for sure why?"

He rubbed the back of his head, glancing up at her with a concerned expression. "So, is everything okay between you and Jon?" There it was—the question about her and his brother. It seemed Jimmy hadn’t mentioned what had transpired the last time they were together.

Imani remained silent as she hoisted her bags onto her shoulders, preparing to address the situation. "We haven't had a conversation since the day he showed up at my apartment, and now I see he's posting about Trin more often. Whatever we had is clearly finished, and I really don't want to discuss it any further," she expressed, just as she was about to leave for her interview when Jey intervened.

"C'mon Imani, he's only doing that to make you jealous," Her? Jealous of Trinity? that's funny.

Imani couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at his words. "I'm not bothered by this at all. I told him to sort things out with her, and he really took it to heart," she said, casually shrugging her shoulders. On the surface, she appeared unfazed, but beneath that calm exterior, a wave of anger and jealousy washed over her. It stung to think that it wasn't her by his side, capturing those moments in photos.

"Mmcht, whatever mani. I know you but I'm throwing a party tonight if you tryna slide," he said.

Imani reflects on her past experience at a party where she and Jimmy were caught up in a passionate moment, almost like they were lost in their own world. This memory makes her uncertain about how she would feel attending another gathering like that.

"I'll think about it, just send me in the addy." As she stepped out the door, she made her way toward Jackie for the interview.

As she made her way down the hallway to meet Jackie, her phone buzzed in her pocket. Glancing at the screen, she noticed a text from Jordan, and a heavy sigh escaped her lips. Today was not the day for his drama, and she felt a wave of frustration wash over her.

J💔 sent a message

J💔: tell yo' Samoan niggas to gtfo because I don't play about mine and you look hella sexy in that outfit mama I miss you

Imani couldn't help but roll her eyes at the message he sent. The thought of falling in love again filled her with dread, especially considering how intensely Jordan felt for her—his feelings seemed even more overwhelming than before. To protect Jimmy, she felt that distancing herself was the only choice; she simply couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to him.

She realizes that pushing him away was a mistake, especially since she feels uncertain about her own desires. However, deep down, she was trying to shield him from Jordan, aware that Jordan would harm anyone who got too close to her unless it was him.

Jimmy was understandably hurt, but he was with someone he should be trying to resolve things with. Instead, she chose to text Jordan back before putting her phone away in her bag.

IMESSAGE 💬 Mani💫: nigga ain't nobody worried about you and keep missing it because you'll never get it back 😒 J💔: I will have you back nobody is finna take me away from you mama and you know that Mani💫: you tryna take these good opportunities away from me all bc I didn't want you anymore J💔: if I'm not apart of it ofc imma take it away tf? Mani💫: you're not my fucking daddy nigga I am a grown ass women whether you like it or not so fuck off J💔: you better not be with that Samoan nigga either I told you his ass will be dealt with Mani💫: who I be with is none of your fucking business bitch so gtfo with allat and leave me alone. J💔: bitch...yk what...I gotchu don't worry baby I gotchu...

Imani had chosen not to respond, walking over to Jackie instead. The two embraced warmly, just as the cameraman signaled for them to begin the interview.

ೃ⁀➷

Imani sat in her car after her interview with Jackie, contemplating whether to attend the party Jey was hosting at his place that night. She was aware that both Jimmy and Trinity would be there, and she felt it was best to maintain some distance to avoid any potential conflicts or drama.

Jimmy's presence has a profound effect on her; it’s clear that she struggles to maintain her composure when he’s near. However, she understands that tonight might be different, especially considering the events of their last encounter.

Imani chose to send Jey a message, informing him that she was heading to his house for the party. She resolved to brush off any concerns about Jimmy being there, and if his girlfriend wanted to confront her about him, she hoped she was prepared for the challenge.

She reached into her bag and pulled out a pre-rolled blunt, lighting it as she took a few calming puffs. Afterward, she exhaled a cloud of smoke into the air. For her, cannabis was a way to cope with stress; whenever life became overwhelming, she would roll a blunt and smoke it to maintain her peace of mind.

As she drove toward Jay's house for the party, she immersed herself in the music from her playlist, hoping to drown out the worries and fears that had been weighing on her since arriving in Atlanta.

It felt as though she could never find peace unless Jordan was constantly messaging her, and now with the situation between you and Jimmy, the tension between you two is palpable.

The way he kissed her and touched her had a profound effect on her, stirring up a whirlwind of emotions inside. Being with a man like him was overwhelming, and it felt as if he was just as lost, caught between proving his love for her while being with Trin. Pushing him away was her only option, even though it pained her to do so; she just wanted to protect him from any harm.

She often found herself reflecting on the moments when he would surprise her at her studio, bringing along food while she immersed herself in her music. Jimmy would shower her with affection, and before long, they would find themselves entwined on the sofa, lost in each other’s embrace.

Imani finished the last puff of her blunt just as she arrived at Jey's house. With a quick flick, she tossed the remnants onto the grass and rolled up her window. Turning off the engine, she grabbed her purse and keys, making her way to the front door. Feeling euphoric from the smoke, she silently hoped that nothing would disrupt her blissful high.

Imani knocked gently on the door, her heart racing as she anticipated someone on the other side. To mask the lingering scent of weed on her clothes, she spritzed some perfume on herself. Just then, she heard footsteps approaching, accompanied by the sound of laughter echoing from behind the door.

She noticed Jey opening the door, a red cup in his hand, and a warm smile on his face as he embraced Imani.

"You finally showed up girl, you look high as fuck by the way," Jey said as Imani chuckled at him.

"Damn, I thought you wouldn't notice me being high." She said softly tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Mane, Imani I know you dawg. You got some more rolled up or what?" Imani nodded as Jey welcomed her into his home. She took a moment to observe the gathering, recognizing both familiar faces and those she had yet to meet at the party.

Her gaze swept the room, searching for Jimmy and Trin, determined to steer clear of them. Jey led her to the kitchen for a drink, and it was there that she spotted the two of them, completely wrapped up in each other, looking so affectionate.

She seemed oblivious to their presence as Jey offered her a bottle of Jack Daniel's cocktails, expertly opening it for her. As she took a sip, her eyes appeared heavy and red, gazing down at Jimmy with an intensity that suggested he was something she could devour. Yet, deep down, she understood that she needed to keep her distance from them.

In that moment, as she strolled by them with the scent of weed lingering in the air, Trinity unexpectedly blurted out something surprising that took Imani completely by surprise.

"Girl, you can move with allat for real." She said.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I just got here and you already bitchin' Jonathan get yo' girl before I do," Imani responded as she had seen Trin walking up in her face.

Imani felt no fear from Trinity; instead, she stood firm, fully aware of the kind of approach Trinity was taking. "You just mad because my nigga don't want you and now you up in here tryna prove a point. Why don't you go back to that nigga that was beating on you,"

Imani let out a soft laugh, trying to maintain her composure despite the tension. Just then, Jimmy intervened, pulling Imani away from Trin. She quickly yanked her arm free from his grasp and looked at him with a piercing gaze from her dark eyes.

"You don't know nothing about me bitch, so how about you keep yo' fucking mouth shut and hell it's not my fault yo' nigga be in my guts every single time he's with me. You must not be good enough hon." Trinity had shoved her, making her lose her balance slightly, while Imani forcefully pushed her, resulting in her landing hard on her backside.

Trinity rose from the ground, attempting to strike Imani, who quickly seized her by the hair. Imani retaliated with a series of powerful punches to Trinity's face, landing blow after blow. Eventually, Imani managed to bring Trinity down, positioning herself on top as they both engaged in a flurry of punches, rolling and grappling on the ground.

Jey rushed over to understand the commotion, noticing Imani and Trinity on the ground, fiercely fighting. In a frantic effort to separate them, Jimmy pulled Imani away while Jey did the same for Trinity.

"Let me the fuck go! I'm not finna have her disrespect me and talk about my fucking past like she knows me!" Imani yelled as she attempted to shove Jimmy away, unaware that he was much stronger than she was.

"Girl fuck you! You're just a fucking slut! wanting some dick from someone else's nigga! you're not on my level little mama!" Imani pushed Jimmy aside and sprinted toward Trin, landing a punch squarely on her face. Hair flew from Trin's head, cascading to the ground, while shards of glass scattered across the floor.

Jimmy struggled to keep Imani from wriggling free as he carried her up the stairs. She was thrashing and making a scene, much like a small child. Once he reached one of the guest rooms, he set her down and forcefully closed the door, taking a moment to catch his breath.

"What the fuck is yo' problem Imani!" He shouted at her.

Imani scoffed at him, "my problem! My fucking problem is you have this bitch talking reckless to me like she fucking knows me Jonathan!" She shouted.

"You could've just walked away mani! Because I know how you get and this was the prime example!" Mani was taken aback that he found himself standing up for Trin, especially after the way she had treated him.

She paused for a moment, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly, gathering her thoughts before she resumed speaking. "I knew this was a bad idea for me to come to this party I just knew,"

She sighed softly, "you know what, it's all good. Ion know why I'm trippin' for you know?" Imani suddenly bursts into laughter, surprising Jimmy for a moment. He knows that when she laughs like that, it usually signals that she's about to get emotional.

He brushed his fingers through his hair, watching as her eyes filled with tears, growing more sorrowful by the moment. He wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her, but she gently shook her head, signaling him to stay back.

"Don't...aight just fucking don't...I need to go before I lose my mind..."

"C'mere Imani..." Jimmy said as she shook her head while backing up slowly. "Nah, you stay right there. I'm not falling for this again."

Jimmy was indifferent to her words at that moment; he recognized her vulnerability and understood that she needed him, and only him. Despite her retreating steps, he continued to approach her with determination. "C'mere Imani...don't be doing this shit..." Imani found herself pressed against the wall, her heart racing as she watched him approach, step by step.

As he drew nearer to her, their gazes intertwined, and the tension between them intensified. Their faces were mere inches apart, with their noses gently brushing against one another.

Her wide, innocent eyes revealed everything, prompting him to encircle her hips with both hands, gently stroking his thumb along the curves of her body, igniting a flutter of excitement in her heart.

"you gon' stop doing this shit...knowing how bad I want you but you keep on pushing me away why?" Jimmy asked as Imani avoided eye contact with him.

As the song "Mutt" by Leon Thomas played softly in the background, Jimmy gently cupped her chin, guiding her gaze to meet his eyes.

"I'm scared Jon...I'm literally fucking scared..." she confessed.

"Scared of what? Imani we had this conversation before I'm not going to hurt you nor harm you mamas," he said caressing her cheeks gently.

She shook her head, "I'm tryna protect you Jonathan...from Jordan I don't want nothing happening to you..." The reality of the situation was that her motivations weren't rooted in a desire to heal or advance her career; they stemmed from her feelings for Jordan and the influence he had on her.

He would often threaten to harm those close to her if things didn't go his way. If he had discovered that she and Jimmy were together, he likely would have lost control and tried to hurt him.

Jimmy gazed into her eyes, noticing the worry reflected there. He leaned in and kissed her softly, pulling her closer as she encircled his neck with her arms. With a gentle lift, he cradled her thighs, securing them around his waist, and carried her toward the bed.

He gently held her on the bed, intertwining his fingers with hers as he positioned himself between her legs, keeping them securely around his waist, ensuring she felt his presence and warmth without ever letting her slip away.

The kiss lingered, slow and profound, allowing him to savor every moment with her. He was completely captivated by Imani, and it showed. His tongue danced within her mouth as he gently tugged at her shirt and jean shorts, prompting her to lift her top, revealing her delicate white lace bra.

As she unbuttoned her shorts, she pushed her hips upward, gradually removing them while their kiss grew more passionate. Jimmy followed the curve of her jaw with soft kisses, moving down to her neck, where he began to suck gently, reminiscent of a vampire's embrace.

"J-Jimmy..." she moaned softly.

He looked up at her as she stepped back, his gaze fixed on her while he removed his shirt and ripped jeans, revealing his striking Versace red boxers. Imani let her fingers glide over his tattooed skin, appreciating the artistry etched across his body.

"You don't need to protect me baby, nothing isn't going to happen to me I promise...I gotchu baby." He reassured her.

"He's crazy Pooks..."

"And I'm crazier than him you were mine before he came into the picture he's not important but you're." Jimmy slithered his hand down her damped folds and began rubbing them through her panties causing Imani to bite the bottom of her lips never leave eye contact with him.

Moving her panties to the side he slowly sticked two fingers inside of her causing her to gasp softly making her back arched against the mattress, he pulled his fingers out of her licking his fingers in the process.

"You taste so sweet for me baby," he got on the bed fully while taking off her panties throwing them somewhere while getting comfortable placing his face between her legs.

He kissed both ends of her thighs and then placing a gentle kiss on her wet folds causing her to flinch from his touch while he gazed up at her grinning.

SMUT WARNING Jimmy began French kissing her wet folds while his tongue was swirling around her clit causing Imani to squirm around since it's been a minute since they did something like this.

His tongue lapped around her clit as he sucked on it while Imani's eyes were rolling in the back of her head tugging on his curls the high she was feeling washed over her looking down at him seeing his dark gaze at her.

"Fuckk, Jimmy..." she moaned softly.

"Mhmm..." he responded back as the vibrations of his hums made her pussy pulse against his lips holding onto her thighs so that she wouldn't run away.

She felt him sticking two fingers inside of her wet cunt thrusting in and out of her as she arched her back some more almost scooting away from him which caused him to pull her back while slurping her up like no other man would not even her ex boyfriend Jordan. "Don't...do that shit.."

The way his voice was dark and deep it just turned her on even more as she relaxed her body letting him eat her out like she was his dinner, his fingers curled up deep inside of her having Imani in a trance while bucking her hips towards his movements.

Jimmy smirked at what she was doing causing him to sped up his pace with his fingers.

"Oh my godddd, Jimmy..."

"Keep calling for me mamas, I'm right here baby."

He worked her over with his tongue watching her lose herself because of him and only him, it became too much for her but she didn't run from it knowing how he'll get as he knew her body way more than she did.

Pumping in and out with a fast manner as his lips never left her sensitive bud was driving her crazy holding onto the sheets for dear life.

Within minutes she felt a pit go down her stomach tapping Jimmy on his biceps signaling him that she was about to cum, "Use your words mamas,"

"I-I'm...ouuu fuck...I'm finna c-cum Jimmy..." she warned him.

His dark eyes were staring at her tauntingly saying, "C'mon then...make a mess on my face coat, coat up my beard nicely mamas,"

His tongue was swirling circles around her clit pulling back on her folds before heading back in curling up his fingers so good.

Imani let out a satisfying moan as her orgasm washed over her causing her to roll her eyes in the back of head along with her legs shaking feeling him slurping everything single drop of her milk cream she had coming out of her.

She flinched at how sensitive her clit was seeing him place gentle kisses on her thighs before pulling away seeing his beard coated up with her milky essence.

Jimmy pulled down his boxers throwing them somewhere seeing his long, meaty. thick dick spring up hitting him in his stomach he made it jump showing how badly his cock missed her.

He pulled her towards the edge of the bed while stroking his dick seeing pre-cum dripping out he begins to align himself inside of her entrance.

Slowly pushing his dick inside of her warmth as they both let out a satisfying groan, Imani pulled him closer to her body feeling Jimmy giving her his deep, long, strokes that she loved so much.

She pressed her lips on his as they passionately make out wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Fuckk..." she murmured.

Both of their tongues were fighting for dominance as the kiss deepened with Jimmy trailing kisses down her jawline like he did before going towards her neck sucking the other side while his dick was pushed all the way in then pulled it back out hearing nothing but sticky noises from her milky essence.

"Tell me you want me..." he whispered in her ear.

"I-I want y-you...only you daddy," Jimmy thrusted his hips deeply inside of her causing Imani to tug on his curls.

"You want me mamas huh? you fucking want me?" His hand was wrapped around her throat pounding his cock away inside of her.

She let out a loud moan holding onto his wrist looking into his seductive eyes nodding her head since she couldn't get her words out of her mouth to say it. With his other hand he gave her love taps on the face before slapping her left ass cheek. "Jimmy...ouuu fuck..fuck fuck,"

Jimmy threw his head back in pleasure loving the way her pussy swallowed him whole seeing all of her cream coating up his cock so well, he was breaking her into two pieces showing her how much he wanted her, to love on her the way she needed to be.

He wasn't going to let her slip away from him this time.

His dick was gliding against her g-spot so well as he circled his hips making her toes curl upward while doing so he wanted her to feel every single inch of him.

"You love me? Huh tell me you love me?" He demanded quickening up his pace feeling her French tip nails dig into his biceps causing him to hiss but he didn't mind it.

"God, I love you so much Jimmy...you know I love you." Imani mewled out while biting the bottom of her lips she caressed his face as he was in it.

"I love yo' cute ass too mamas, pussy so good too good," he let go of her throat leaning in for a kiss which was long and deep making her forget the pleasurable pain that she was experiencing at the moment.

He pinned her arms above her head tonguing her down making her feel loved and appreciated like she deserved to be.

Jimmy kept his fingers interlaced with hers fucking her passionately not wanting to be rough with her only if she asked that would be his cue to do so, the air thicken around them due to the heat that was forming against their bodies along with the room smelling like sex.

"Imma love the fuck outta you, you hear me? You're too precious baby," Jimmy had switched positions now Imani was straddling him as she held onto his shoulders  bouncing up and down on his dick.

Their skins were slapping against each other feeling Jimmy's hand guide her movements with his dick kissing her cervix up. "Ouuu daddy....i love you so so much..." He smiled at her tracing kisses down her body unclamping her bra that she had on still holding onto her breast while swirling his tongue around her nipples.

Imani felt so good wrapped around him like a Christmas present it was driving him insane she threw circles around his dick causing him to moan softly when she did it.

"Keep throwing that shit in circles mamas, I love that shit, sexy ass." He was throwing compliments after compliments at her like no other.

Imani felt an another pit going down her stomach bouncing on his cock even harder with determination to chase her high letting her body do whatever, feeling a slight sting on her ass cheek.

She continued to twirl her hips around his cock feeling his dick filling her up so well in the process it had her mind being all foggy, Jimmy pressed his thumb on her clit rubbing it a circular motion.

"Shit, ouuu shit," she mewled out feeling her lose herself. "Yeah, squirt for daddy baby, c'mon make a mess on me." His words hit her like a storm as she felt her legs shaking while her juices spilled out from her causing her to collapse on his chest.

Jimmy bucked his hips upwards while gripping onto her hips tightly pumping his dick in and out of her now sensitive cunt hearing her let out a loud cry.

"Too much daddy! Too much!"

"You gon' take this dick like a good girl you hear me?" He growled as Imani held onto him tightly.

Jimmy was sending her over to the oblivion with her cries turning into hiccups pummeling her insides in, he could feel his dick twitch inside of her.

Biting down on his bottom lips gazing down at her seeing her face turning up whenever he hit the right spot making her feeling dizzy. "You belong to be baby,"

"Yes," hiccups " I belong to you Jimmy...only you.."

"Ohh, fuck I'm finna nut mamas...I'm finna fucking nut,"

Jimmy had slammed into her one last time before pulling out of her letting his nut shoot ropes after ropes onto her back while rolling his eyes in the back of head letting out a guttural moan escape his lips.

He slowly stroked his dick some more making sure he got all of his nut out of his system before holding onto Imani close to him catching their breaths together.

SMUT OVER.

Imani rested her head against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat gradually slow, echoing softly in her ear. She looked up at Jimmy, his hair tousled and wild from the sweat. He let out a soft chuckle, planting a gentle kiss on her temple before lifting her up and heading toward the bathroom to help her freshen up.

After sharing a warm shower, she and Jimmy nestled together in bed, with Imani gently tracing her fingers over his tribal tattoos, captivated by their intricate designs. Meanwhile, Jimmy lovingly caressed her lower back in soothing circles. They both agreed to forgo the party happening downstairs, cherishing the opportunity to enjoy each other's company in this intimate moment.

"You love my tattoos don't you?" Jimmy asked.

"Yeah, they're so beautiful honestly. I never thought you would get tatted do your tattoos have a meaning?" She said looking Into his eyes.

"Just representing my culture that's all mamas," Jimmy had tucked a strain of her hair in her ear before placing a soft kiss on her lips.

He gazed at her, captivated by the familiar smile that had always warmed his heart during their teenage years. "Did you really mean it when you promised to love me the way I’ve always needed?" As she spoke, he lowered his eyes, gently stroking her cheeks with tenderness.

"I did mean that shit, you deserve it. Because you're so precious mamas I wish you could see the way I see you."

He gently turned her onto her back, positioning himself above her, creating a sense of closeness. One hand rested on her waist while the other softly tangled in her braids.

His gaze was steady, unflinching.

"You're my best friend and I love you but more than that," He mentioned that his voice had a low and resonant quality. "I don't care how crazy that fool think he is just know imma be there for you even it's long distance since we are in different brands imma be there."

Imani pressed her lip between her teeth, sensing her heart race.

Jimmy grinned playfully, leaning closer until his nose gently touched hers.

"I'm not letting you slip away from me again," he murmured, his lips grazing against hers. "you belong to me not him or nobody else you're mine."

Imani took a deep breath, gently gliding her hands over his face and tracing the contours of his beard, fully aware of how much he cherished this tender gesture.

"I'm yours Mr Fatu?" She whispered.

Jimmy laughed softly, pressing his lips to hers while gently stroking her thigh.

"Yeah, you mine like I said little girl,"

Imani smiled slyly, drawing his face nearer to hers.

"Gotta prove it to me then,"

They suddenly heard a knock at the door, accompanied by Jey's familiar voice calling from the other side.

"Yo! Uce! Is you and Imani good?" He shouted.

 She and Jimmy exchanged amused glances, laughing softly, "Yeah, we're all set, Uce. We'll be there in just a minute."

As they shared a moment away from the party, laughter filled the air while Jimmy rested his head on her stomach. Her fingers gently wove through his curls, and they savored the tranquility of their connection for a little while longer.

"Can we stay like this until it's time for us to go home?" Imani asked.

"Of course baby, anything for you."

FRIENDS

A/n: yall think Jordan is going to find out about this? From his homeboys And crash out?

But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below.

STAY UCEY.

05

[satcrvz]

CHAPTER SIXTEEN; TWO IDIOTS

navi

“move your bubble butt out the way,” yuuji instantly straightens his back and glares at you.

“yn, please im literally trying to make the house look presentable while you sit on your ass warming yuutas seat”. his comment earned a snicker from megumi, which yuuji made a mental note of.

nobara shuts the fridge and shouts from the kitchen, “you wouldn’t need to make it presentable if you hadn’t invited the whole population over”

you think yuuji may be your number one hater and supporter. clearly he’s trying to help you, but at the same time you feel non confrontational.

“speak your truth. yuuji and megumi are literally the reason the living rooms fucked up”

a few minutes after the four of you finish “cleaning,” if you could even call it that, maki, inumaki, and yuta show up. as they enter the apartment, inumaki glances around the place.

"so did you guys just decide not to clean or what?" this earned him a slide flying by his head, courtesy of yuuji. while almost everyone is engaged in their own banter now, you make your way over to yuta, praying that it's not going to be the awkward interaction that you have in your head.

you smile as you approach him, "did you bring the ice cream?" his eyes slightly widened as he brings his right hand up to scratch the back of his neck. "soooo," you laugh at his awkwardness, "i ended up buying it but my dumbass left it at the house"

"that's not a problem, we could go get it since your house isn't that far?" you suggested. "wouldnt we miss the movie?" his question is genuine.

"nah we have time. it’s not like they’d agree on a movie anyway." he shoots you a smile before grabbing the lanyard that hung out his sweats.

"guys, me and yn are going to get icecream, it won’t take long!" maki shoots him a look that tells him not to fuck it up. yuuji acknowledges yutas statement, "oh, can you get popcorn? there’s like one bag left and i know all of you aren’t willing to share"

"oh we actually weren’t—" you’re cut off by yuta, "we’ll get it, it’s fine!"

. . .

"why’d you agree? i was trying to save you the trouble." he cranks up the car, "it’s fine, besides, do you really wanna be there when they fight over a movie? shit gets ugly." "you’re right," you say in between laughs.

the ride to the store was no more than 10 minutes, most of it consisting of you flipping through songs, due to you not really knowing what he listens to.

after he parks, he raises both of his hands up and looks at you, "do not move." you smirk and raise an eyebrow at his actions, not really knowing what his plan was. that was until you saw him get out the car and go over to your side and open the door.

the smile was evident in your voice, "what are you, prince charming?" as you get out the car, he dramatically bows, "anything you want me to be your highness." this earned laughter from the both of you.

the two of you entered the store and right as the sliding doors opened yuta probably asked the dumbest question you've ever heard.

"we're supposed to be getting popcorn right?" truthfully, he was trying to make conversation after ignoring you for the past few days.

"jeez yuta, you drove us and you don't even know what you're here for?"

he gave you a grin, "i got us here safely, no? thats gotta count for something!"

as the two of you roam isles in search of popcorn, you find yourselves indulging in random conversations from embarrassing childhood stories to things your friends have done. it's effortless, the way you connect with each other, as if you've known each other for much longer than just a few weeks.

you spot the aisle that the item would be in, and reach over to grab his shirt to steer him into the aisle. his eyes widen at the gesture, clearly being caught off guard.

the two of you scan the shelves for a good brand with a reasonable price. you both decide on a box and head to the checkout.

"hey. you aren't slick, i saw you slide those kitkats"

you bring your finger to your chin, "hmm, i don't recall. maybe it's a ghost telling us we need to get them."

the both of you quickly got into the car and drove to his house to get the ice cream he bought. surprisingly it was a really quick stop, he told you to stay in the car and darted into, and back out the house.

by the time the two of you had got back, unsurprisingly, they were still fighting over a movie.

"yn, yuta, please settle this dumbass debate," nobara pleads.

yuuji obnoxiously says that it should be the conjuring, while maki counters and suggests spider-man, but more specifically andrew garfield’s.

"guys.. yuuji may be right for once. conjuring sounds good as fuck right now"

megumi brings his hand up to his hair, clearly stressed you picked opposite of him "dude just get back in the car you’re unwanted." nobara brings her hand to her mouth clearly trying to stifle a laugh, while inumaki has no shame and does it anyway.

"bitch? i hope your 'situationship' unadds you." this nearly made yuta start praise dancing. his thoughts ran wild of "i have a chance oh my gosh" "she just might fuck with me.." "never will i doubt maki again"

your voice brings him out of his chaotic thoughts, "yuta! pick one!" "oh uh, conjuring i guess? never seen it"

bad idea. he felt like he needed a life saving medical procedure, he’d nearly shit himself 3 different times. the only thing that made the movie slightly tolerable was you sitting on his left. yuujis sitting on the floor and whispers, if you could call it that, and asks for some of your popcorn. you respond in a hushed voice, "no! you should’ve thought about that before you put it on four minutes."

yuta must’ve not gotten the hint not to reach in the bowl, because he took a handful of popcorn from the bowl. "oh but you’ll give your little boyfriend some. fine!" he faces back toward the tv, only to be met with a handful of popcorn flying at his face from maki telling him to shut the fuck up.

the rest of the night went smoothly but somewhere in there you found yourself knocked out on yuta. during the credits, inumaki and yuuji were laughing at him for pretty much not moving a muscle.

you woke up to an almost abandoned couch, just maki sitting on the end. you quirked an eyebrow, "where’d the rest go?" "outside."

"i do have a question for you though," the little people in your head are panicking right now, "do you like yuta?"

you sheepishly smile, "uhm. . . yeah he’s a good friend i guess?" she gives you a look that a disappointed parent would give their kid, "you know what i mean."

"i guess? yeah. i probably started liking him when i streamed with him for the first time, he’s really sweet."

she hums in response, and right in time, nobara comes back through the door with toge, and yuuji, megumi, and yuta trailing behind her.

do we fw the chapter.. did not proofread this

guys if i missed your comment asking to be on the taglist pls send me an ask 😭 i literally lose comments all the time

tags: @saesofficialwife @k4romis @soy-garbage @sakyira @dreamxiing @swissy23 @shnzies @captaincyberqueen @fantasycantasy @chuyasthighs0 @mixzimi @milza12 @nahoye @spookyrule @4phskingdom @sad-darksoul @morgyyyyyyy @smashingdollz @bubbles-the-ghost @lunavixia @gaychaosgremlin @jayathelostdragon @h3xi2g0n3 @lysaray @sereniteav @httpakkeiji @histxricaldrama @aiieera @rieieieieieiei @tobaccosunbxrst @hvnyacoded @ohhyuuta @inupibaldspot @diogodxlot @amenial @kzoyu @ancientimes @mochuchi @cerisescherries @sugurubabe @saltypuffin1040 @lunarbleedings @kamikokii @egoistars @r0ckst4rjk @arysbruv @bbladie @hobistigma @k1ttylvr @deeeeexx @arivsx @kyrofu9 @kereseth @clxvrs @chososwh0r3 @alluresenses @sak1l @just-a-girlblogger @m6tra @nyxlai @ecliiipsee

[morganafayes]

morganafayes bbc merlin fic rec list <3

hiiii here is a tiny little fic rec list i made for fun of some of my personal underrated faves in the fandom!! i've tried to avoid stuff that's already pretty well known + have a decent balance so hopefully yall might find some new stuff you haven't seen in here :)

the witch and the queen - toxic morgwen slay <3 very short!

in our quiet hour - i mean just read everything by lupinely. its all so good. its everything. they have never missed. id recommend 'castled' by them too... insane merthur fic. their dynamic is perfectly written. also their gwen character study mwah

heir - gen, arthur & merlin. genuinely have never once stopped thinking about this since i read it and it makes me sick :/

off the deep end - now THIS. this is good shit. toxic merthur modern au where they are exes and hate each other and hurt each other. finally someone who gets their specific brand of codependent toxicity. bbc merlin modern aus peaked here i dont care

swan down - nimueh ficlet about her relationship with arthur. gave me many brainworms............ please read it. its very short and it will make u crazy.

this graveyard - ok i havent finished reading this yet bc its like 10k. but its morgana/gwen and a rewrite of the whole dark tower thing which as you all know is the bane of my existence. society if the the writers had actually written that episode well etc etc.

i hear deserts heal your history - THEEEEE fic of all time. genuinely i have never stopped thinking about this fic ever. i have such complicated feelings on it. it makes me want to die and throw myself off a cliff at the same time. this is the morgana centric fic of all time genuinely she is done SUCH justice here oh my god but also. everyone is very mean to merlin. my poor guy..... :( in terms of morgana fics though. a must read <3 also great exploration of the mergana dynamic. reading this was truly where my mergana crusade started btw. also read their other morgana fic its absolutely fantastic (i havent finished it either though because im slow asf...)

living for the hope of it all - mercelot warriors come get your heartwrenching angst <3 i have more mercelot fics to rec if people want. i hate them and i love them

ouroboros - merlin/morgana. insane freaks at it again. my fave victims of lavender divorce

drawing lines - gwen character study which i <3.

the chakra of merlin - okkk this is a strange one. it feels almost semi incomplete because although it does. end. it doesnt really. its most interesting for its sci fi elements + character exploration which i find really interesting and well done. merlin is truly unhinged here in the worst ways. when is he not though

the huntress' heart - mithian/gwen slay!

tongue tied - yeah its another truth spell merthur fic... what can i say im basic. its very good though!

dragons! - morgana/gwen. super short and cute <333

[munson-blurbs]

hi!!! i want to send in a request for the meet-cute blurbs!

i would like to be paired with steve! im very outgoing, i love to laugh, and i try to be nice to everyone. some interest/fun facts, i work at ulta beauty as a sales girl (so i love makeup and meeting people) and i love to read (especially autobiographies and spiritual self help books). lastly, my pronouns are she/her and i guess one more thing about me is i always have my hair and makeup done!!

thank you!!! 💕💕💕

You meet Steve while he's struggling to find foundation for Robin!

CW: endearingly awkward Steve, Reader is a bit flirty WC: 606 Divider credit to @hellfire--cult

Working in retail required you to find joy in the simple things. Helping someone find a lipstick shade that made them feel confident and beautiful. A day without any customers complaining about the products you had in stock (as though you were in charge of placing orders). When your boss was in a good mood and treated the employees to coffee from the food court.

Today’s little slice of entertainment was watching a guy stumble through the aisles in search of foundation, nearly knocking over a display of lipgloss in the process.    

“Fuckin’...shit…” he mumbled, brushing the sleeves of his denim jacket as though he could shed his embarrassment. “Fuckin’ Robin…always her goddamn errand boy.”

You stood there, lips tucked into your mouth to stifle your laughter, as he held up two bottles with similar shades. He examined them thoroughly, bringing them up to his eyes and squinting. “What the hell’s the difference…nah, they have to be the same.” He placed one back on the shelf and picked up another, his chest rising and falling as he took a deep breath to summon his patience. “Wait, hold on, is this another one?”

Okay. Time to put this man out of his misery.

“Can I help you with something?”

Your voice startled him from his thoughts. One bottle slipped from his grip, and he caught it mid-air before it could shatter all over the tile floor. His cheeks now splotched pink, he let out an embarrassed laugh.

“Stealthy. Like a ninja.” 

You nodded, your own smile actually genuine rather than the one you plastered on for ‘quality customer service.’ Gesturing to the bottles, you asked, “Do you need help choosing a shade?” 

“Wha–oh, yeah. But they’re not for me. I don’t wear makeup. Except for this one time when I was a kid and my cousin put some on me and made me pretend to be a princess at a tea party.” He cleared his throat and shook his head, a lock of light-brown hair grazing along his forehead. “My friend–who is a girl, but not a girlfriend, like we’re platonic with a capital P–she has a date tonight and asked me to get this for her. But I clearly have no idea what I’m doing.”

You inched closer, enough to smell the musky cologne he sported. “Did she tell you what shade to get?”

“Yeah, it was, uh, the Clinic brand?” He wrinkled his nose. “And she wrote down the number…”

He fished into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled slip of paper, and you saw Clinique 02 hastily scrawled on it.

“We keep the Clinique products over here.” You motioned him towards the next shelf and plucked the correct shade from its spot. “I believe this is what you want.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” he said with an exhale as he took the bottle from your hand. His fingertips brushed yours, and this time, you almost dropped the merchandise. 

You shrugged, acting like that electric spark didn’t pass between you. “Just doing my job.”

“Right. Yeah.” He scratched at the back of his neck. “Well, could I still buy you an ice cream from Scoops Ahoy as a thank you?”

“I can’t turn down free ice cream from a cute guy,” you said. “My shift ends at seven, if you wanna swing by then?”

His face turned an even deeper red. “I can do seven.” He started towards the register, then made an about-face. “I’m Steve, by the way. Steve Harrington.”

You let your gaze linger on the moles on his neck for a moment before you responded.

“Nice to meet you, Steve Harrington.” 

--

[lakesbian]

ok so my askbox is closed until i clean it like a responsible individual but i got dm'd a question so here it is

Who is your favorite Wildbow Antagonist: for both Worm, Pact, and Twig?

which is interesting because i dont think about antagonists very much compared to my designated groups of Special Little Protagonist Guys. obviously. that said

pact, listing first, bc it's got my favorite antagonist out of any of the three novels: i bet for most people its a competition btwn faysal and barbatorem and i do like faysal enough that i feel bad saying this but like. it's barbatorem. it's definitely barbatorem. that -- WAIT FUCK UR EXISTS. ohh shit. how did i forget ur exists. uh. um. uh. uh. folks i cant pick. please dont make me pick. barbatorem produced the only scene in the novel where i was genuinely afraid for blake (antagonist so bad it makes Lakesbian feel empathy 4 blakey the universal punching bag), and hes just like. a horrifying horrifying concept. more horrifying the longer you think about what he was used for. but at the same time, ur is just completely incredible conceptually, and the scene w/ the knights talking about the effects it had on them fucks me up. i feel like i do have to pick barbatorem in the end tho, just because of his power & significance and completely fundamental role in the story's creation. this has been my liveblog in picking a favorite pact antagonist, pact is so fucking good, please read pact

worm: [sweating really hard looking between a few of the endbringers and echidna] e ., [remembers that the simurgh caused echidna] uhhhhh [thinks about arc 8 again] uuuuuuh im gonna come back to this one

twig: mauer pre-character assassination bc the scene where he holds sylvester over an open fire and coldly breaks him completely emotionally open to the point where he's forced to be Honest for once in his wretched british black ops child soldier life is fucking awesome.

worm again: okay in the interest of brand loyalty i'm sticking to the simurgh

i extend this question to everyone else for fun also. what are you peoples favorite antagonists in each wildbow novel youve read, and why

[verdantlights]

Theory time for when you have the time and energy!

Everyone is a little (understandably) delulu about Till being alive in the new art, but my artist brain did a very uncanny theory.

What if the reason Till uses the wrong hand and doesn't have the branding is... Because that isn't Till at all? What if it's Io?

There's also a weird upside down blue triangle between Till's hand and his cheek, basically would've been the reflection of the Till in the mirror. I don't know what's up with that and why it's there but it bothers me, like it's a fragment taken out of a puzzle and matches the background more than the colors used on Till himself.

okay hi im here my gears have been working

im using you to start my own ramble anon thank you i love you anon

also the blue triangle is uhhhh the bandage over tills nose on that specific design

ANYWAYS BRINGING BACK MY PURGATORY THEORY (rolls in whiteboard)

okay so remember the first friday after round 7? this one?

yeah. yeah were bringing this back.

you can clearly see lines in the back showing the false sky, clouds, and trees of ANAKT.

till has an IV hooked up to him and he's still tagged. we would still be able to see his brand from this angle, but there isnt one there.

now we look at todays drop

whats in the background? a false sky and clouds. where is tills brand? nowhere to be found. hes still in his round 7 fit, but he only has one hand up on the "mirror" ...and its not even the correct hand as you said anon

both ivan and sua have both of their hands up and are looking at us with blood on them, representing their "deaths" (i put death in quotes cause i refuse to believe any of them are dead ahahahahshahdnahagabwmde theyre not dead guys!!!!!)

till is not facing us, and we cant see au till's face either.

till is most likely in some sort of purgatory, he has one foot out the door/one foot on deaths doorstep. that purgatory is the Great Anakt.

as for ivans, his background has the pink hearts. that probably is just. him dying for the one he loves. im a bit unsure about ivans honestly. i will say that both faces arent covered at all. yes ivans eye is covered by his hair, but his face still isnt obscured by perspective. he bared his whole heart for till

now as for sua... blinks my eyes autistically at you about the android sua theory.

okay so listen. sua is partially covered in the back, and her body is turned in a way so that her other hand is obscured. we know shes still using both hands though because we can see her elbow. so why is she partially obscured? because bababababababaa aaaaa android. or the theory that sua will come back "wrong"

the sua in the back honestly reminds me of my september. like genuinely i get my september vibes from the sua in the back. shes so uncanny. she looks lifeless but still.... somehow alive. and the real sua looks like she knows. she knows something while also being sad or melancholy.

its terrifying tbh.

thats all i have i might come back with more cause im p sure i forgot a few thinfs

im just like. whats getting me is that they uploaded a day early. are we getting a double upload?? cover maybe??? teaser??? idk

[borzoilover69]

I *need* the 3 paragraph essay on davejake. They give me brainworms, please

Alright here it is, me rambling at length about davejake to some person, now copy pasted on tumblr!

So as you already know (or dont) i often frame dave and jake hanging out as clubbing buddies. That's all there is to their relationship. My personal headcanon is that dave is such a loser postgame. I think he would fall out with karkat because he doesnt know how to clean up after himself and gets more aloof and sort of a jackass down the line (count it on bad parenting!!) and it pisses off karkat so bad they dont have a tumultuous breakup they just sort of fizzle out bcus both of them dont have the balls or the energy to tell the other its over they just sort of stop talking. 

It doesnt just impact his relationship with Karkat, I imagine he'd fall out with a lot of his friends because it's okay to be an insufferable prick when youre 13 or 16 but less so when youre in your 20s. This would especially impact his relationship with John. If you look at it from a subjective opinion, its a wonder they ended up friends in the first place. They have different interests, contrasting personalities, and different ideas of fun. I like the idea that John would have depression postgame, and I think that Dave just wouldnt know how to handle it at all, doesnt really know how to connect. Theyd be stuck in this thing where they can't think of a single good thing about the other when they're apart, but when they're togehter it's fine. You know its bad when you dont have literally anything to talk abt with your best friend. hes totally indifferent to any of daves comments on politics or the ilk. 

Dave understands that time and relationships dont go well at all he cant stay in touch with old friends, but also doesnt really desire cant new friends, stuck perpetually in limbo.

and thats the thing sort of the same with jake. jake hits it off big but realising so many people want him and desire to be around him makes him lose touch with his old group so hes grown distant too, theyd get along because they dont care enough to know the other on a deeper level and it suits them just fine.  like they might wonder but thatd open a pandoras box.  

For Dave it’s the fact that Jake doesn’t show outward opposition to his brand of bullshit, and doesn’t ask nor desires to get deep with him, so it’s fine. Here for a good time not for a long time.  They can do all the things that dirk is too much of a shut-in prude to do. (Same goes for John) and just hangout. Hookup a few times. 

For Jake, Dave is a strider (something he likes) and again, doesn’t ask and isn’t someone who wants to get deep with him which suits him just fine because Dave can be fun if they’re doing something fun and Jake doesn’t want to go alone. Which he doesn’t. Jake English is the type of guy to fill his entire schedule just to avoid talking to people one on one that hes known for a long time (doesn’t want to get intimate just wants to have a lot to talk about with no qualms.) 

Like he also doesn’t want to know Dave on a personal level but he can convince the guy to go on benders because Dave has nothing really going for him and they can bitch about their selective friend groups w/o it coming back to bite both of them in the ass due to them obviously not going to tell the others about it.  Which is great. For them. 

Its funny as hell to imagine them helping each other but they genuinely do not give a fuck about that at all. Funny In the glaringly not endgame our friend groups both sort of ditched us but we sort of also enabled that to happen (we lack the ability to try hard at it for too long without getting uncomfortable) and base level of similiartiy that doesn’t show signs of fluctuating so as long as they’re generally entertaining and on board to party and do fun things they are friends and or in relations (complicated and a sworn open secret) to each other.

Honestly it’s likee canon. To me. Im a big fan of less than conventional relationships. A lot of the fun comes from exploring the lengths they would go to stave off boredom in the face of immortality and  trying to stave off having a deep conversation or revelation while tiptoeing around issues they have with others and with themselves through a safe haze of vices. Like they’d get close to it but get interrupted. 

Dave and Jake are silly as heck. Love those goobers. Their relationship to Dirk is purely they know to not fuck with each other because it’d genuinely upset dirk really bad but they do it anyway. And it’s true they see attributes of their best friend in the other with added benefits of them not being so uptight as their best friends from childhood. 

[lggy]

I’m on both and every time I go back over to aphtwt it’s like that guy with pizzas going into a room on fire

its a long ass story thats been going on since the reveal of s7. here's just a recount of what's been going on lately for anyone curious i guess. its just to answer why a lot of people are icked out by laurance right now and why people are saying "i cant enjoy laurance anymore"

bascially laurance's va doesn't know how to properly manage his image,

ive been following him long before, he would have a few old tweets and tiktoks where he gets really annoyed towards aphmau fans, and reasonably so

...after the reveal of s7, he tried coming back to make his brand Laurance except he's using his NFSW bdsm account. after people started trying to link his nsfw links to his aphwiki page i made a twt post asking people to stop doing that. thats when we realized seb is obsessed with searching himself up on twitter and he proceeded to QRT me and make a few response posts reiterating what i said and apologizing for interacting with minors on his nsfw account. he made a new alt account for interacting with fans on aphtwt.

that was back around september-october

he searches himself and laurance up constantly to QRT and pick fights and stuff. its clear he's going through mental shit - he talks about it a lot. but it took him months to realize hes not fit to be running an account to host his image/brand that he wants to be about Laurance. he picks up on any drama around himself and kinda has a villain speech every time someone doesnt like him. im kind of starting to feel bad for him.

this is all while lowkey begging Jess to contact him again to bring him back for VA work, cryptically referring to her sometimes as "The Creator". I forgot to mention he had this whole "Guys im having a huge reveal, Im coming back to VAing for a very special charater.." thing. me and a lot of people picked up on him being kind of.. fake? basically, he shit on aphmau before, equated VA work to a MLM, then had a total sudden switch-up as soon as s7 was announced and realized he can renew his role. he had a video saying he wants this job to get a new tattoo.

^ 'What's wrong with wanting money?' the thing is being a VA means you need to have a good image and thats usually generated by having a good fanbase. all that really said was that he's just hopping on a bandwagon to get paid and thus his fan interactions just came across as desperate and bait-y and fake as hell. think about how other VA's interact w their fans then compare it to this,

what happened yesterday was that garroth's VA announced he was doing a mystreet rewatch with much of the og cast!... then sebastian QRT'd with this

someone even asked if he can join them too

then he joined the discord. then got banned after 10 minutes.. then crashed out about it on twitter, posting that garroth's va blocked him. not posting the massive paragraph he had because its kinda the sameburger poetry. i genuinely have no idea why he would post this than to like, try to get people to turn on garroth's VA. severely inappropriate behavior for someone trying to come back to being a VA

allegedly, seb had livestreamed a while ago where he said something along the lines of, (quoting from oomf's memory) "I don't recommend you contacting or asking any of the old VAs about me, I don't know if they still think about me the same bc of how I was back then. Bipolar Disorder was really bad for me back then, it made me so edgy." and how other VAs had issues with him and tension. - i dont have a source for this but it lines up with this tweet :

where he very inappropriately and for no reason mentioned he had issues with another VA. the problem is he had NO reason to bring that up and had the situation he was referring to was about gene having a fill-in on a cocomau video and nothing to do with seb himself or any drama or anything.

aaand i think thats all. that's the laurance downfall crashout chronicles , i didnt want to get too detailed but i can ask questions and whatever

personally, i nevr really beleived this guy would ever get hired again. all because he uses his real/brand name for his porno stuff. the company does background checks yknow

[tomhardystories]

Part 7

Over the next few months, Tom and Jules fell into a friendship so easy it was almost suspicious. No forced niceties, no awkward silences - just a steady stream of sarcasm, late-night texts, and the occasional coffee that somehow lasted three hours. It was a dynamic that felt less like meeting someone new and more like finding an old friend who’d been stuck in traffic for thirty years.

It started with their late-night texts, which became a near-daily ritual. Jules would tease Tom mercilessly about his terrible texting habits, and he would fire back with equally sharp comebacks.

Jules: Still typing with one finger? I can practically hear the hunt-and-peck method from here. Tom: Mocking my process doesn’t make it faster. Jules: It’s character-building. You should thank me.

Their banter became the cornerstone of their friendship - quick, playful, and refreshingly straightforward. Jules relished having someone who could match her sharp wit without missing a beat, and Tom found it freeing to be around someone who treated him like an ordinary guy rather than a Hollywood figure. Their conversations felt effortless, an even exchange of humor and honesty that neither of them had realized they were missing.

When Tom wasn’t busy being a Hollywood star or a dedicated dad, they’d meet up. Their in-person meetups were equally chaotic. Tom was subjected to Jules’ self-declared “World Tour of Mediocre Coffee Shops” where she made him try suspiciously named drinks like the “Mocha Explosion Deluxe.” 

“This tastes like someone melted a chocolate bar in dishwater” Tom grumbled. 

“Yes” Jules said. “That’s the signature flavor.”

In return, Tom dragged Jules to a hidden bookstore in the West Village, claiming it was his “happy place.” Jules rolled her eyes but secretly loved it. She spent an hour mocking the over-the-top book titles in the self-help section before Tom caught her buying a collection of terrible poetry. 

“Is this for ironic purposes?” he asked

Of course, Tom’s celebrity life came with its own brand of nonsense, which Jules delighted in hearing about, and mocking.

“So this fan asked me to autograph her forehead” Tom said one afternoon as they sat on a park bench with lattes in hand.

Jules nearly dropped her coffee. “Her forehead? Were her arms broken?”

“She said it was going to be her next tattoo” Tom replied, looking both amused and horrified.

Jules wheezed with laughter. “Oh, this is excellent. I’m never letting you forget this. From now on, your brand is forehead tattoos.”

“Glad I could provide material for your stand-up routine” Tom deadpanned.

Moments like these became the norm: effortless, filled with humor, and surprisingly grounding. When Jules had a rough day at work, Tom became her go-to sounding board. He’d text her just to check in:

Tom: You still alive? Or do I need to send coffee and moral support? Jules: Alive. Barely. Coffee would help, though...

One afternoon, he showed up at her office unannounced, balancing two cups of coffee and a box of pastries for her team. Jules was quietly touched, though she deflected with her usual wit. 

Likewise, when Tom needed someone to vent to - whether about co-parenting frustrations or the grind of his work - Jules was always there, listening with genuine interest (and the occasional sharp comment to keep things from getting too serious).

“Why do people assume actors have it so easy?” he mused over tea one evening. “Because they don’t see you signing foreheads” Jules quipped, making him laugh despite himself.

Their connection wasn’t just about jokes, though. Over time, they began sharing more personal parts of their lives. Tom introduced Jules to his son, Louis, during a casual outing. To his surprise, Louis and Jules hit it off immediately, bonding over shared love of a specific animated series. Jules, in turn, brought Tom into her circle of friends, who were both intrigued and amused by his easy going nature.

“She doesn’t even roll her eyes at you that much” Samantha noted, impressed. “That’s progress.”

As their friendship grew, it became clear how much they valued each other’s presence. Jules appreciated having someone who genuinely listened without judgment, while Tom enjoyed the simplicity of being around someone who didn’t treat him like a celebrity.

There was no big declaration or dramatic shift - just a natural, comfortable rhythm. They weren’t just pals anymore; they were the kind of best friends who could count on each other for anything, whether it was a laugh, a coffee delivery, or a quiet moment of understanding. For both Jules and Tom, it was exactly what they hadn’t realized they needed.

Jules didn’t know what to expect when Tom invited her out. “Just a casual thing” he’d said over coffee, which, in Tom-speak, meant “I’ve planned something potentially life-altering, and I’m not telling you the details because I enjoy watching you squirm.”

When she walked into the bar, her first thought was that it seemed... normal. Warm lighting, low music, people laughing over drinks. Her second thought, upon spotting Leonardo DiCaprio and Cillian Murphy sitting with Tom at a corner table, was: Oh. Of course.

Tom waved her over, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “Jules, meet Leo and Cillian. Guys, this is Jules - my friend, occasional critic, and partner in crime.”

Leo stood first, extending his hand with a mischievous smile. “Ah, so you’re the legendary Jules. Tom’s mentioned you.”

Jules shook his hand, her brain immediately short-circuiting. What had Tom mentioned? That she was sarcastic? Prone to saying the wrong thing? Once compared him to a disgruntled sloth when he was grumpy?

“Good things, I hope” she said, recovering slightly.

Cillian, quieter but no less magnetic, stood next. He gave her a polite nod and extended his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise” Jules managed, trying not to be unnerved by the sheer intensity of his gaze.

“Alright” Tom said, gesturing to the empty seat beside him. “Sit down before Leo tries to recruit you for one of his climate documentaries.”

Leo feigned offense. “Excuse me, I don’t recruit people. I inspire them.”

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” Cillian deadpanned, earning a laugh from Jules.

The night started out easy enough. Jules was sipping her sparkling water, grateful Tom wasn’t drinking either - it made her feel less like a social pariah. She was trying to cut down on drinking, mostly out of solidarity with Tom, though she hadn’t quite mastered it yet. Leo, meanwhile, was holding court, effortlessly recounting stories about his environmental projects, dodgy fan encounters, and the time he accidentally bought a 20-foot yacht instead of a 10-foot one.

“It was an honest mistake” he insisted, taking a sip of his drink.

“Was it, though?” Cillian asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jules leaned toward Tom. “Do normal people accidentally buy yachts, or is that strictly a rich-people problem?”

Tom chuckled. “Depends. Do normal people accidentally buy a ridiculously overpriced bottle of olive oil just because it had a cute label?”

Jules sighed dramatically. “That happened once. Let it go.”

Cillian was clearly loving the banter. “So, Jules” he said, leaning in conspiratorially. “How’s Tom as a friend? Be honest. We won’t tell him.”

Jules didn’t miss a beat. “Oh, he’s great. Super dependable. He only cancels plans at the last minute like... half the time.”

Tom groaned. “That happened twice, and one of those was because my kid was sick.”

“Excuses” Jules quipped. “Also, he sends unsolicited playlists. Did you know there are entire albums of rain sounds accompanied by melancholy acoustic guitar? Because I do.”

Leo laughed so hard he nearly spilled his drink. “That is Tom. I love it.”

Cillian raised an eyebrow at Tom. “Still inflicting your playlists on innocent people, I see.”

“They’re curated” Tom defended. “Curated is different.”

As the night wore on, Jules found herself relaxing - helped along by the fact that Tom wasn’t drinking, which made her feel less self-conscious about her sparkling water.

“Honestly” Jules said at one point, “not drinking is harder than I thought. I mean, what do you do when everyone else is tipsy and you’re just... here?”

“You people-watch” Cillian said matter-of-factly, gesturing subtly toward a man at the bar who was gesticulating wildly with a cocktail umbrella stuck in his hair.

Leo grinned. “Or you start making up backstories for them. Like him - definitely a rogue spy trying to blend in but failing miserably.”

“Or he’s auditioning for the role of ‘drunk uncle’ at a wedding” Jules added, earning a rare chuckle from Cillian.

Tom, who was watching all this with a bemused expression, leaned closer to Jules. “See? You’re fitting right in.”

“Am I?” she whispered. “Because I feel like I’m one awkward comment away from becoming a meme.”

Leo overheard and laughed. “Don’t worry, Jules. If anyone makes you a meme, I’ll make sure it’s a flattering one.”

As the group shifted into smaller conversations, Jules found herself next to Cillian, who was nursing what looked like the world’s smallest glass of whiskey.

“So” Jules began, leaning her chin on her hand, “what’s the strangest place you’ve ever been?”

Cillian tilted his head, considering. “Strangest? Hmm. I’d say it was this tiny Irish village we filmed in once. Population of about twenty. The pub doubled as the post office, and the bartender was also the priest. It was like a sitcom waiting to happen.”

Jules laughed, picturing the scene. “That’s amazing. Did you have to confess your sins before getting a pint?”

Cillian smirked. “Not quite, but he did try to save my soul after I ordered a second whiskey.”

“Well” Jules said, straightening up, “I think I can top that. I once got locked in the janitor’s closet at the Museum of Modern Art.”

Cillian blinked, a flicker of surprise crossing his face. “You’re joking.”

“I wish I were” she said, already giggling at the memory. “I was trying to leave, but instead of pushing the exit door, I yanked open a closet. I stepped inside, realized it wasn’t the way out, and somehow the door slammed shut behind me.”

“And no one noticed?” Cillian asked, his brows lifting in amused disbelief.

“Apparently not” Jules replied, her voice rising as she relived the absurdity. “I was stuck in there for an hour, sitting on a bucket, surrounded by mops and the faint smell of lemon disinfectant.”

Cillian chuckled, shaking his head. “What did you do for an hour? Contemplate life among the cleaning supplies?”

“Oh, I went full panic mode” Jules admitted, gesturing animatedly. “At first, I banged on the door like I was auditioning for a horror movie. When that didn’t work, I texted a friend, but of course, she thought I was joking. So I ended up Googling ‘how to pick a lock with a bobby pin.’ Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work if you have no idea what you’re doing.”

Cillian laughed, the sound low and warm. “And how did you finally escape?”

“A janitor eventually came by and found me” Jules said, shaking her head. “The worst part was, he didn’t even look surprised. Just said, ‘Again?’ Like this was a regular occurrence.”

Cillian leaned back, clearly enjoying her story. “You must’ve made his week.”

“Probably” Jules agreed, grinning. “But I can’t step foot in that museum without feeling like the mops are judging me.”

“Well, that’s one for the memoir” Cillian said with a faint smile. “Locked in a closet at the MoMA. I’d call it performance art.”

“Oh, don’t encourage me” Jules quipped. “I’m already considering titling my autobiography Bucket Seats and Bad Decisions.”

Cillian chuckled again, and for a moment, the noise of the bar faded as they shared a quiet laugh, the conversation settling into that rare, effortless ease.

As they left the bar, Jules fell into step beside Tom, her heart light.

“Thanks for tonight” she said, her tone more sincere now. “Your friends are… surprisingly ordinary. For Hollywood, anyway.”

“They like you” Tom said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Leo told me you’re funnier than me, which, honestly, I’m not sure I’m okay with.”

“Don’t worry” Jules teased. “Your ego will recover.”

Tom laughed, shaking his head.

As her cab pulled up, Jules hesitated. “Really, they are… not what I expected.”

“Yeah?” Tom asked, tilting his head.

“Yeah” she said with a smile. “They’re weirdly normal.”

“Don’t let Leo hear you say that” Tom said, smirking. “He’ll take it as an insult.”

And with that, she hopped into the cab, leaving Tom to wonder, not for the first time, how someone like Jules had become such an important part of his life.

Tom was sitting on his balcony, nursing a cup of coffee and basking in the rare glory of a peaceful morning. No script rewrites. No co-parenting emergencies. Just him, a slightly overcast sky, and the knowledge that he didn’t have to pretend to like kale today. Then his phone buzzed.

He glanced at the screen. Leo.

Tom smirked and answered, already bracing himself. Leo never called without an agenda. “Morning, DiCaprio. To what do I owe this honor? Did a yacht spring a leak?”

Leo’s laugh came through the line. “Funny. No, I wanted to talk about something, or, rather, someone.”

Tom took a sip of his coffee, narrowing his eyes. “If this is about me joining another climate fundraiser where I have to dress like a tree, I...”

“No, no” Leo interrupted, his tone suspiciously casual. “It’s about Jules.”

Tom froze, the cup halfway to his mouth. “Jules?” He cleared his throat, aiming for nonchalance but hitting more of a confused parrot. “What about her?”

“I like her” Leo said simply, as though he were announcing he’d found a new favorite oat milk. “She’s smart, funny, doesn’t take any of your crap, and let’s face it, Tom, that’s a short list.”

Tom squinted at the horizon, trying to process. “Wait, you like her? As in, you want to...” He gestured vaguely at the air, even though Leo couldn’t see him. “....ask her out?”

“Why not?” Leo said, like he’d just suggested ordering takeout. “She’s got a great vibe. And let’s be honest - she’s too cool to just hang out with you.”

Tom blinked. “Charming. Thanks.”

“Look, man, I’m serious. I think I’d like to take her out for a drink, get to know her a bit more. Do you think she’d go for it?”

For a moment, Tom said nothing. His brain was playing some sort of emotional pinball, bouncing between.... Jules? And Leo? And wait, why does this bother me? It didn’t make sense. Jules was Jules, his sharp-tongued, no-nonsense friend who once threatened to start a rumor that Tom was secretly writing a one-man musical about the life of a middle-aged goldfish who dreams of becoming a Broadway star.

“She’s… not really the dating-for-sport type” Tom said finally. “But hey, what do I know? You should probably just ask her yourself.”

Leo chuckled. “Fair enough. But maybe slip me her number? Just to break the ice?”

Tom hesitated, his thumb hovering over the send button like it was a detonator. Was this a good idea? Probably not. Was he going to stop Leo? Also probably not.

“Fine” he said with a sigh. “But if she stabs you with a cocktail stick, that’s on you.”

“Noted” Leo said, his grin practically audible. “Thanks, man. I owe you.  I'd like to call right away, but I don't want it to seem like I care too much. Do you think I should wait, like, a few days?”

“Yeah, whatever.” 

Leo. Of all people.

[selfundiagnosed]

update uhh they scrubbed the super awesome pro lgbt wink wink nudge nudge social media accounts for Kum & Go because all Kum & Go’s are being replaced by Mavericks. theyre Utah based and very concerned about the sexual connotations of the name “Kum & Go” so by next year be prepared to say goodbye to beautiful Kum & Go. the purity panic is murdering an actual absolute legend. All of my hard work i spent growing the Kum & Go tiktok account from 0 to almost 200k like no trace of it. i have no car and have had to quit my irl job because of it & was considering doing remote work through social media marketing again and i would only be able to cite my experience with Kum & Go but they silently wiped all my videos off the account. im so like. even if not to work a job it would be cool to have all that work still up. Like fuck idk dude. that was kind of my hope for 2024. i cant rlly work without a car so i was like if i get mentally better i can go back to doing that and it would be a lot easier than having go figure out something else. which like we cant all have our ideal worlds but the bus doesnt come anywhere near where i live so it just sucks. i know how this website feels about corporate accounts but fuck. Kum & Go was. It was fucking awesome lmfao i was genuinely proud to be a corporate account if the corporation was Kum & Go. they were so focused on being in on the joke of their name and did so much help to the community in recent years like hiring associates who just came out of prison. people with records. People with weird hair colors and visible tattoos and piercings. associates had amazing benefits. & like our social media department worked with a gay man who streamed on twitch to sell a shirt that said Kum & Gay rights like in the purity panic i thoroughly do believe like it was impactful and meaningful. did lots of fundraising for LGBT organizations like locally Iowa Safe Schools and their annual GSA event for lgbt iowa teenagers in GSAs. now the company is being killed! and ik its a corporation a company & intrinsically flawed because of that, i had my own personal gripes with this aspect. But like fuck. I remembering being on tumblr sneakily as a 12 year old and seeing the tumblr heritage posts of ppl discovering kum & go… like i knew i wanted to do a Denny’s tumblr-esque thing around this tjme too so when i had to opportunity to work on their tiktok account and build it up from scratch it felt like the universe handed me the opportunity on a silver platter. im just like fuck this fucking sucks. heres the article idk if i can get a link without a paywall though :/ anyway. RIP to a legend. go find the nearest one and buy the epic kum merch while you still can this year guys :/

[stevethehairington]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @stevecarrington!!!!! I HOPE TODAY IS UNBELIEVEABLE!! i'm so glad this fandom has brought us together, you're such a wonderful friend and im very lucky to know you!! i know how much you love steddie AND ted lasso so i whipped up a little steddie lasso for you, i hope you enjoy 💕💕

⚽️✨️⚽️✨️⚽️✨️⚽️✨️⚽️✨️⚽️✨️⚽️

Eddie is not quite sure how he got here.

One day he was sprawling across his ornately carved DM throne, gleefully ruining the lives of those brave enough to sit at his table and dip their toes into his particular brand of tabletop roleplay chaos, and the next he was packing up his life and getting on a bus heading west, back to god damn Hawkins, Indiana — the hometown he swore he'd never come back to all to coach soccer.

Yeah. That's right. Soccer.

The thing is — he's never been a sportsball kind of guy. Not baseball, not basketball, not football. Certainly not soccer. Outside of ogling the players for their tight little shorts and their calf-hugging socks, of course. The only reason he knows even the slightest brush of the basics — and even then, it's a strech to say he knows it — is because Wayne is a sportsball guy.

But apparently that incredibly bare quasi-knowledge of it was good enough for Chrissy — Eddie's best friend extraordinaire and prominent figure in the sports world (truth be told, Eddie really couldn't tell you what her actual position was — all he knew was that she did everything and was everywhere. Seriously, it was insane how many connections she had in the world of professional organized sports.) — because when she heard the words "looking for strong leadership" and "to build comraderie" and especially "with a creative, outside of the box approach" when the league announced that they were looking for a new head coach, she had immediately submitted Eddie's name. Without even consulting him on it. Without even telling him in the first place.

It was a true testament to just how desperate the club was that they had actually chosen him.

Getting that call had boggled his damn mind.

Still does, if he's being honest.

And now here he is, fresh off the bus and standing in front of Nancy goddamn Wheeler — the tiny, but incredibly intimidating owner of the whole goddamn team.

"Eddie, welcome," Nancy says, flashing him a perfectly pleasant smile that still somehow makes him feel like prey. "It's great to meet you."

She holds out her hand, and Eddie quickly wipes his palm against his jeans before accepting it. Her handshake is firm — she's not fucking around.

"It's lovely to meet you too, ma'am," Eddie replies, with his politest midwestern manners.

Nancy's lips press together, turning down at the corners, and for a brief moment Eddie thinks he's somehow managed to fuck this up already. Could you get fired for sweaty hands? Was that legal?

But then a small laugh slips from those lips and Nancy says, "Just Nancy. Ma'am makes me feel like I'm seventy-five and belong in the bingo hall."

Eddie can't help the bleat of laughter that bubbles out, probably a little too enthusiastic. "Hey, the bingo hall's a riot," he says.

That gets Nancy to chuckle again before she clears her throat and smooths down the lapels of her blazer. "Well, thank you so much for taking on this position, we're really grateful to have you here, and we look forward to seeing what you can do for us," she says, and she sounds genuine about it, which puts Eddie a little more at ease. Nancy barrels on, "I'm sure Chrissy had briefed you about speaking with the press?" She asks, but she doesn't give him a chance to answer. "You'll just be sitting down with some journalists and answering any questions they may have — and I'm sure they'll have plenty."

Eddie lets out another nervous titter. Yeah, he's sure too. "Sure," he says. "Um, and that's... tomorrow? Later this week?"

Nancy makes a face, a sort of half grimace, half sympathetic thing.

Eddie's stomach turns.

"Actually," Nancy starts, eyes flickering towards the door behind Eddie, "it's right now."

Shit.

"Did— did Chrissy not let you know that?" She asks, chewing on her lip.

"No, no!" Eddie is quick to reply. "She did, I'm sure she did, I just— probably wasn't listening. It's kind of been a... crazy fucking day—" his eyes go wide, "— I mean—"

Nancy laughs. "You can say that a-fucking-gain," she agrees, and Eddie's shoulders relax from where they'd tensed up to his ears.

"Well, I'm sorry to just throw you to the wolves like this, but we can't really call it off now," Nancy continues, giving him an apologetic look.

Eddie glances towards the door too and nods. Rolls back his shoulders and straightens his spine. Let's himself slip into his DM persona — the guy that can handle every punch that's thrown his way, no problem.

"No, it's fine. I got this," he says, nodding again.

Nancy smiles and leads him towards the door. "Whenever you're ready," she tells him.

Eddie takes a deep breath, steels himself, and turns the handle.

Immediately he is bombarded by flashing cameras and an increase in volume as dozens of eyes all pinprick right onto him.

He's got this. They're just people. He's good with people.

Eddie climbs the two steps leading up to the staging area and swaggers to his place behind the desk, dropping himself into the seat. He reaches out to tap the microphone, which emits a sharp whine that shuts the crowd up.

He stifles his grin and leans into the mic, "Let's start this thing, shall we?" He pauses, scans the audience, quirks a brow. "Questions?"

Almost every single hand shoots straight up.

Yep. Should've seen that coming.

"Okay, okay, you know what? Let's just—" he motions for everyone to put their hands down, "— yeah, there we go. Great. Thanks. Right. I'm sure a lot of you have some of the same questions, so why don't I start by clearing a few things up first."

He wriggles in his seat, getting comfortable. "Yes, the rumors are true. No, I have not coached soccer before. Haven't coached anything before, actually. Hell, I'm probably the least qualified guy they could have hired for the spot," he laughs, and a murmur goes through the crowd. "I don't really know the first thing about soccer, but what I do know is that this team, the Hawkins Demodogs FC, these ferocious warriors of sport— they're going to get out on that field and they're— they're gonna put all of their intelligence and wisdom and strength into it," he says firmly, falling back on his trusty DnD knowledge. Game of sports can't be that different from a campaign, right? "They're gonna put their constitution to good use and fall back on their dexterity and they're going to defeat their enemies — I'll make sure of it."

Glasses guy in the second rows eyebrows lift, almost like he recognizes the terminology.

"Now," Eddie says, clapping his hands together. "I'll take one question from the masses. Make it a good one."

The hands shoot back up again, but the only one Eddie notices is the one belonging to glasses guy. It raises it a beat after the rest, lifts his hand into the air relaxed, easy, like he doesn't actually care.

It intrigues Eddie. He intrigues Eddie.

"You, in the second row," Eddie says, pointing right at the man.

A slow smile spreads across his face as he rises to his feet, clicks his pen, pushes up his glasses again.

"I like your glasses," Eddie comments, unable to help himself.

The guy's smile twists at the corners. "Thank you," he says, and his voice is smooth, rich, like honey. Eddie kind of wants to bathe in it.

His stomach swoops. "And you are?"

"Steve Harrington, the Indypendent," he says.

Eddie leans forward on his elbows, lets his smile turn a little flirty. "What's your question, Steve Harrington from the Indypendent?" He asks, stretching out Steve's name, loving the way it tastes in his mouth.

"Yeah, I've just got one question for you," he says. He fixes a narrowed, nettled look on Eddie, cocks a hip, and says, in a perfectly, deliciously, bitchy tone, "is this a fucking joke?"

Oh, he's going to be a fun one.

[trips2saturn]

didn’t do last week’s but here it is: TOWL EPISODE 5 SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️‍🔥

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ANOTHER LEGENDARY EPISODE FOR THE TWD HISTORY BOOKS. can we get a round of applause please? 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 yes. great. perfect.

you already know what i’m about to scream about. THE RICHONNE PROPOSAL™️ HELLODHSJDHSKBDJSHSHSSBSBSJEISNS DID I NOT PREDICT IT YES OR NO. YES I DID!!!!! THE RING 😭😭😭 HIS SPEECH 😭😭😭 HIM GETTING ON ONE KNEE AND THEN SHE GETS ON HER KNEES TOO?!?1?2!$:)!/!:/& HER RESPONSE TOO?! SEDATE ME THIS IS ALL I’VE EVER WANTED. imagine thinking we haven’t won the damn lottery with this ship it’s neverrrr over for us i love them i love them so much they’re going home next episode, and we’re going to see the ring on her finger WATCH THIS SPACE ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹🥺😁

not even five minutes into the episode and i was being ambushed with both admiration and TORTUROUS PAIN. the cute little callback to 7x12 of them just being on the road, scavenging, surviving, and loving on each other was sooooo cute. rick kissing the back of mich’s hand. DOES THIS SHOW WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING VERY CATASTROPHIC BC I WILL.

BOOM. immediate anguish right after their cutie scene because what does rick do? OH RIGHT HE PULLS OUT THE PHONE OF CARL’S DRAWING AND STARES AT IT SOLEMNLY. CATASTROPHIC THOUGHTS ARE FORMING EXPONENTIALLY LITTLE TUMBLR PEOLLE 😭😭😭❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹😔😔😔😔 i can’t do this anymore no more please. i cried so hard last episode i’m tired brother

that brief scene of rick wanting to bring a gift home for rj. that’s his baby. michonne saying that he’s the brave man, and that just him coming home to them was enough. i need like three days to process this episode it was SOOOOO SOFT

“tasteful noods?” they’re idiots but they’re my idiots. i am also an idiot because just before she said that, i paused the show and read the truck and laughed out loud at the brand. i swear we’re so tethered. michonne and trips, sisters in another universe <3

im not going to sugarcoat anything. idgaf about jadis’s death. in fact, i am celebrating!!!!! will byers is NO MÁS good damn riddance.

ALSO HELLO GABRIEL? i was quite comforted to see a member of the group. those random meetups with haircut were interesting to say the least, especially the kiss because ummm was he not still dating rosita? idk idc i can’t keep up with the timelines anymore it’s not that serious unless it’s rick and michonne

also thank you GABRIEL for the wedding ring, and thanks jadis for giving it to rick. haircut was good for something in the end i guess. doesn’t matter what her ending was, i didn’t feel any reconciliation or compassion. she’s still a piece of shit who stole a great portion of rick’s life from himself and his entire family. burn in the hottest depths of hell. xo!

WAS THAT A PAINTING OF GLENN IN JADIS’S FLASHBACK? IF SO HOW AND WHY IM GENUINELY CONFUSED SOMEONE PLEASE REPLY OR DM ME ASAP

the callback to 6x10?!?!?? spearmint and baking soda?!?! I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY SONS BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!???????? danai and andy took the little richonne file in my brain and STUDIED it to make sure that they filmed every scene that i’ve ever wanted to happen to them. no source just trust me they did it

RICK GIVING MICH A BRAND NEW “M” NECKLACE OHHHHH 😔😔🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 THEYRE SO LOVEBUG. LIKE WOAH OKAY TROY AND GABRIELLA 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭❤️‍🩹 she deserves it so much! and then their kiss inside of the cabin afterwards, and them falling back onto the bed urgsjdvajdbabbs cutie pies!!!!!!!!!!!

every jadis scene pissed me off, so I won’t go into detail too much. you guys know how much i hate her. anyway, michonne using the axe to slice jadis like a cold cut… mother. love her. ALSO her rage when speaking about haircut too, yeah that was the perfect amount of dialogue that i wanted to see from her. her stealing rick’s time of seeing rj’s birth, first steps, etc. UGH. so excellent, you could feel her burning anger in her voice.

all of these callbacks throughout the episode but the best, most important and evident one was the mere fact that they’re a team again. kicking ass, and simply leading each other because that’s what they’re the best at. before any of their romance began, they were trusted confidants who worked so well side by side, and in this episode we got to see and feel the satisfaction and elation of having that back again!!!!!

i felt like i was at a drive thru restaurant ordering the entire episode. can i get some flirting, with a side of ass kicking, and ummm let me get a side of poetic, confessional yearning from rick grimes. yeah, that’ll be all.

rick telling gabriel that he wanted to marry michonne on the bridge. 🥺……. 😡 AND THEN EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT AFTERWARDS. IMAGINE THE WORLD IF JADIS NEVER KIDNAPPED HIM. THEY WOULD HAVE FOUND HIM EVENTUALLY LIKE HE WAS RIGHT UP THE STREET?? oof — i cannot. we waited so long to hear this admirable dialogue but at what cost. it’s so sad, but at least we’re here now as michonne would say!!!!!

okay. ❤️‍🩹 there’s still so much to unpack but that’s enough out of me for the moment. brain’s still scrambled eggs. last but not least, michonne grimes is the hottest character ever. THE BOXERS?! she looked fucking amazing in every single outfit. if i were rick, i’d be kissing every inch of her neck too HELLO

don’t forget to stream the ones who live episode FIVE 5️⃣ on amc+ and don’t forget to watch it tonight on amc’s channel at 9pm!!!! ❤️‍🔥 so stoked for episode 6. it’s going to be the best one ever. it’s so hard to rank them at this point and i don’t want to either. every episode is better than the last! REAL TELEVISION IS BACK. 🫶🏼❤️‍🔥

[commander-gloryforge]

okay after playing for a healthy and normal 10 hours finishing act one, here are my thoughts.

QQWWWWWWWWWWAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH YYEAAAAAASSASS S WWEWEWEEWWWW AYYYWEEEAEEDEDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSA WOOOOOOOOOOOOIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay . god. okAY. fuck. okay. so. i dont even know where to start im enjoying myself so much here its crazy. like im having such a good time genuinely holy shit.

THE MUSIC. fucuukkkkk god the music. okay it has a lot of that one instrument that i cant name but its a very specific sound that they used a lot in ibs too and i genuinely love that sound. god. FUCK. the music is so good. i think i already have a fave track but im not gonna name it just yet bUT FUCK ITS SO GOOD. i think im gonna have to get that one on vinyl when they release it. GOD.

also voice acting? HELLO???? insane job done by the kodan ESPECIALLY poised arrow, he's AMAZING. and the uh. The Big Bad Guy we fight at the end of chapter 5. uhm. hello. the voice. hello sir. hey. hiiiiii.

the map. ive only seen the first so far but by god this is my favoruite place ever in the world. i really love how peaceful that place is, but how alive it feels. theres events everywhere, the hearts are wonderfully done, it LOOKS just simply beautiful. its so much fun to explore and run around in and just do nothing but sit there and listen to the kodan talk. this is genuinely the best of. all worlds? like its HUGE but never feels empty, its fun to explore but easy to get through, its diverse and beautiful and alive, it feels like a core map but BETTER. the adventures are fun, I GOT TURNED INTO A FISH, the events are lovely, i want to eat this map.

warclaw??? actually feels good to use????? genuinely love how it feels now, actually kind of prefer it over raptor/jackal. i only have the first mastery on it because im focusing on homestead mastery but omg the jumping abilities are so fun and i cant wait to level the mastery more... the skin you get is so cute and i might genuinely use warclaw so much more now. its abilities are actually kinda fun to use too

SPEAR. i didnt get to test spears out a lot but i can confidently say that I LOVE GUARDIAN SPEAR i switched auroras build and now story fights are actually fun. have not tested it with any other class but its GOOD.

characters. i cant say so much about the story itself yet but it does feel so much better than soto just because of the characters alone. instead of being thrown into some brand new mess with a bunch of characters we dont know that quickly become irrelevant, we actually have known faces by our side- like properly. caithe and malice are are GREAT companions for this, i love the tyrian alliance (despite being a jennah hater) because we keep coming back to these characters we've known, it doesnt feel like all the relationships weve made have been cast aside anymore. HELL WE EVEN GET CHARACTERS THAT WERE MISSING SINCE IBS BACK! even if its just for a short time, THEYRE THERE, WE GET TO CHECK IN WITH THEM! THATS GREAT! and even with all the new characters, they dont feel as overwhelming, they just feel.. good? its just good. its just right.

and theres so much more to say but its 5:30am right now and i need to wrap this up.

god. okay its easy to please me. take everything i say with a grain of salt. i am very easily impressed and excited, ESPECIALLY when it comes to gw2, but it really does feel like theyre figuring it out. it feels like anet really did listen to us, and learned from soto, and things are going well. im so happy. i love this so much. AAAAAAAH