#and im here like ????? this is genuinely so on brand for me you guys just dont get my brand

[thewertsearch]

GT: Well ive thought about it. GT: Even went downstairs to check the great vaulty doodad. GT: And predictably the infernal contraption is nowhere to be found. TT: Well yeah, Jake. TT: That's sort of the point. TT: Thrill of the hunt and all.

Ok, I think I get what's going on here.

Jake's Dreambot is probably the last remaining source of uranium on the entire island, and the AR is turning its retrieval into a game of hide-and-seek.

I'm not sure why Jake hadn't already retrieved this particular chunk of uranium, especially since he has no use for the robot himself. Maybe he was keeping it operational for sentimental reasons?

TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. […] GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome. GT: I just prefer the idea of adventures which i can actually win.

Jake's picturing a LIVING GRANDSON SMACKDOWN - and, frankly, so am I. That robot's being piloted by an absurdly advanced AI, and I'm pretty sure Jake doesn't have any combat experience.

Winning, in this case, is shorthand for 'waiting for the AR to take pity on you'.

TT: It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me. Are you pussying out on me, Jake?

Now, to be fair, that one would only work if Jake had agreed to this challenge beforehand. After all, you can't pussy out of something you never pussied into.

GT: It seems it seems it seems!!! GT: It seems there is a million percent chance that you say it seems way too much and do it just to sound more like a lame robot from a movie and also probably just to piss me off! […] TT: Have you ever stopped to think that while I may be bound to processes inside the glasses of a real and incredibly cool guy, my algorithms in cognitive totality comprise a conscious entity not far short of the experiential and emotional complexity of a human being? GT: Oh malarkey. GT: YOU ARE A TIN CAN. ROBOTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS.

Jake, it's been sixty seconds since you complained about him pretending not to have feelings.

TT: I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them. TT: It sucks. GT: Oh. GT: Um. GT: Im sorry then if thats the case.

Well, that's something, at least - but I don't think Jake really understands why the AR is offended, so I'm worried it's just going to happen again in their next argument.

How long has the Responder existed for, anyway? Jake seems familiar with his schtick, so he's probably not brand-new - but at the same time, Jake's surprised apology makes it sound like the AR has only recently started to express feelings.

Maybe the AR has existed for years, but hasn't been sentient for years. Like, it really did just start as a primitive response script, but Bro kept uploading more of his personality onto it, until it slowly began to think and feel. Fascinating idea, I have to say.

GT: It can just be difficult to drum up sympathy for a program that presents itself as an impostor so often. GT: Maybe if you werent so ready to insist you were the genuine article all the time? Or didnt make it so confusing for me… GT: I think it would be best if we henceforth treated you as a totally distinct… uh… THING from my buddy.

Hey, it's not like the AR can stop imitating Bro. Even if he wanted to have his own identity, he's currently bound to the response script of someone else's Pesterchum account. When he talks, he's forced to do it through Bro's handle.

All evidence points to the Responder being a thinking, feeling being with his own inner world - which makes it a little ethically dubious to force him to be Bro's secretary. The guy shouldn't be treated as a bargain-bin Bro, the same way that Davesprite wasn't a backup Dave. We all saw how that ended, and it sure wasn't pretty.

[dzozef]

one thing that i love about myself is that my personal aesthetic, fashion sense, hobbies and personality all go together perfectly well and kinda make sense.... and then theres just this insane obsession with joseph joestar added on to it randomly that just gives my whole life a different vibe

[satcrvz]

CHAPTER SIXTEEN; TWO IDIOTS

navi

“move your bubble butt out the way,” yuuji instantly straightens his back and glares at you.

“yn, please im literally trying to make the house look presentable while you sit on your ass warming yuutas seat”. his comment earned a snicker from megumi, which yuuji made a mental note of.

nobara shuts the fridge and shouts from the kitchen, “you wouldn’t need to make it presentable if you hadn’t invited the whole population over”

you think yuuji may be your number one hater and supporter. clearly he’s trying to help you, but at the same time you feel non confrontational.

“speak your truth. yuuji and megumi are literally the reason the living rooms fucked up”

a few minutes after the four of you finish “cleaning,” if you could even call it that, maki, inumaki, and yuta show up. as they enter the apartment, inumaki glances around the place.

"so did you guys just decide not to clean or what?" this earned him a slide flying by his head, courtesy of yuuji. while almost everyone is engaged in their own banter now, you make your way over to yuta, praying that it's not going to be the awkward interaction that you have in your head.

you smile as you approach him, "did you bring the ice cream?" his eyes slightly widened as he brings his right hand up to scratch the back of his neck. "soooo," you laugh at his awkwardness, "i ended up buying it but my dumbass left it at the house"

"that's not a problem, we could go get it since your house isn't that far?" you suggested. "wouldnt we miss the movie?" his question is genuine.

"nah we have time. it’s not like they’d agree on a movie anyway." he shoots you a smile before grabbing the lanyard that hung out his sweats.

"guys, me and yn are going to get icecream, it won’t take long!" maki shoots him a look that tells him not to fuck it up. yuuji acknowledges yutas statement, "oh, can you get popcorn? there’s like one bag left and i know all of you aren’t willing to share"

"oh we actually weren’t—" you’re cut off by yuta, "we’ll get it, it’s fine!"

. . .

"why’d you agree? i was trying to save you the trouble." he cranks up the car, "it’s fine, besides, do you really wanna be there when they fight over a movie? shit gets ugly." "you’re right," you say in between laughs.

the ride to the store was no more than 10 minutes, most of it consisting of you flipping through songs, due to you not really knowing what he listens to.

after he parks, he raises both of his hands up and looks at you, "do not move." you smirk and raise an eyebrow at his actions, not really knowing what his plan was. that was until you saw him get out the car and go over to your side and open the door.

the smile was evident in your voice, "what are you, prince charming?" as you get out the car, he dramatically bows, "anything you want me to be your highness." this earned laughter from the both of you.

the two of you entered the store and right as the sliding doors opened yuta probably asked the dumbest question you've ever heard.

"we're supposed to be getting popcorn right?" truthfully, he was trying to make conversation after ignoring you for the past few days.

"jeez yuta, you drove us and you don't even know what you're here for?"

he gave you a grin, "i got us here safely, no? thats gotta count for something!"

as the two of you roam isles in search of popcorn, you find yourselves indulging in random conversations from embarrassing childhood stories to things your friends have done. it's effortless, the way you connect with each other, as if you've known each other for much longer than just a few weeks.

you spot the aisle that the item would be in, and reach over to grab his shirt to steer him into the aisle. his eyes widen at the gesture, clearly being caught off guard.

the two of you scan the shelves for a good brand with a reasonable price. you both decide on a box and head to the checkout.

"hey. you aren't slick, i saw you slide those kitkats"

you bring your finger to your chin, "hmm, i don't recall. maybe it's a ghost telling us we need to get them."

the both of you quickly got into the car and drove to his house to get the ice cream he bought. surprisingly it was a really quick stop, he told you to stay in the car and darted into, and back out the house.

by the time the two of you had got back, unsurprisingly, they were still fighting over a movie.

"yn, yuta, please settle this dumbass debate," nobara pleads.

yuuji obnoxiously says that it should be the conjuring, while maki counters and suggests spider-man, but more specifically andrew garfield’s.

"guys.. yuuji may be right for once. conjuring sounds good as fuck right now"

megumi brings his hand up to his hair, clearly stressed you picked opposite of him "dude just get back in the car you’re unwanted." nobara brings her hand to her mouth clearly trying to stifle a laugh, while inumaki has no shame and does it anyway.

"bitch? i hope your 'situationship' unadds you." this nearly made yuta start praise dancing. his thoughts ran wild of "i have a chance oh my gosh" "she just might fuck with me.." "never will i doubt maki again"

your voice brings him out of his chaotic thoughts, "yuta! pick one!" "oh uh, conjuring i guess? never seen it"

bad idea. he felt like he needed a life saving medical procedure, he’d nearly shit himself 3 different times. the only thing that made the movie slightly tolerable was you sitting on his left. yuujis sitting on the floor and whispers, if you could call it that, and asks for some of your popcorn. you respond in a hushed voice, "no! you should’ve thought about that before you put it on four minutes."

yuta must’ve not gotten the hint not to reach in the bowl, because he took a handful of popcorn from the bowl. "oh but you’ll give your little boyfriend some. fine!" he faces back toward the tv, only to be met with a handful of popcorn flying at his face from maki telling him to shut the fuck up.

the rest of the night went smoothly but somewhere in there you found yourself knocked out on yuta. during the credits, inumaki and yuuji were laughing at him for pretty much not moving a muscle.

you woke up to an almost abandoned couch, just maki sitting on the end. you quirked an eyebrow, "where’d the rest go?" "outside."

"i do have a question for you though," the little people in your head are panicking right now, "do you like yuta?"

you sheepishly smile, "uhm. . . yeah he’s a good friend i guess?" she gives you a look that a disappointed parent would give their kid, "you know what i mean."

"i guess? yeah. i probably started liking him when i streamed with him for the first time, he’s really sweet."

she hums in response, and right in time, nobara comes back through the door with toge, and yuuji, megumi, and yuta trailing behind her.

do we fw the chapter.. did not proofread this

guys if i missed your comment asking to be on the taglist pls send me an ask 😭 i literally lose comments all the time

tags: @saesofficialwife @k4romis @soy-garbage @sakyira @dreamxiing @swissy23 @shnzies @captaincyberqueen @fantasycantasy @chuyasthighs0 @mixzimi @milza12 @nahoye @spookyrule @4phskingdom @sad-darksoul @morgyyyyyyy @smashingdollz @bubbles-the-ghost @lunavixia @gaychaosgremlin @jayathelostdragon @h3xi2g0n3 @lysaray @sereniteav @httpakkeiji @histxricaldrama @aiieera @rieieieieieiei @tobaccosunbxrst @hvnyacoded @ohhyuuta @inupibaldspot @diogodxlot @amenial @kzoyu @ancientimes @mochuchi @cerisescherries @sugurubabe @saltypuffin1040 @lunarbleedings @kamikokii @egoistars @r0ckst4rjk @arysbruv @bbladie @hobistigma @k1ttylvr @deeeeexx @arivsx @kyrofu9 @kereseth @clxvrs @chososwh0r3 @alluresenses @sak1l @just-a-girlblogger @m6tra @nyxlai @ecliiipsee

[morganafayes]

morganafayes bbc merlin fic rec list <3

hiiii here is a tiny little fic rec list i made for fun of some of my personal underrated faves in the fandom!! i've tried to avoid stuff that's already pretty well known + have a decent balance so hopefully yall might find some new stuff you haven't seen in here :)

the witch and the queen - toxic morgwen slay <3 very short!

in our quiet hour - i mean just read everything by lupinely. its all so good. its everything. they have never missed. id recommend 'castled' by them too... insane merthur fic. their dynamic is perfectly written. also their gwen character study mwah

heir - gen, arthur & merlin. genuinely have never once stopped thinking about this since i read it and it makes me sick :/

off the deep end - now THIS. this is good shit. toxic merthur modern au where they are exes and hate each other and hurt each other. finally someone who gets their specific brand of codependent toxicity. bbc merlin modern aus peaked here i dont care

swan down - nimueh ficlet about her relationship with arthur. gave me many brainworms............ please read it. its very short and it will make u crazy.

this graveyard - ok i havent finished reading this yet bc its like 10k. but its morgana/gwen and a rewrite of the whole dark tower thing which as you all know is the bane of my existence. society if the the writers had actually written that episode well etc etc.

i hear deserts heal your history - THEEEEE fic of all time. genuinely i have never stopped thinking about this fic ever. i have such complicated feelings on it. it makes me want to die and throw myself off a cliff at the same time. this is the morgana centric fic of all time genuinely she is done SUCH justice here oh my god but also. everyone is very mean to merlin. my poor guy..... :( in terms of morgana fics though. a must read <3 also great exploration of the mergana dynamic. reading this was truly where my mergana crusade started btw. also read their other morgana fic its absolutely fantastic (i havent finished it either though because im slow asf...)

living for the hope of it all - mercelot warriors come get your heartwrenching angst <3 i have more mercelot fics to rec if people want. i hate them and i love them

ouroboros - merlin/morgana. insane freaks at it again. my fave victims of lavender divorce

drawing lines - gwen character study which i <3.

the chakra of merlin - okkk this is a strange one. it feels almost semi incomplete because although it does. end. it doesnt really. its most interesting for its sci fi elements + character exploration which i find really interesting and well done. merlin is truly unhinged here in the worst ways. when is he not though

the huntress' heart - mithian/gwen slay!

tongue tied - yeah its another truth spell merthur fic... what can i say im basic. its very good though!

dragons! - morgana/gwen. super short and cute <333

[munson-blurbs]

hi!!! i want to send in a request for the meet-cute blurbs!

i would like to be paired with steve! im very outgoing, i love to laugh, and i try to be nice to everyone. some interest/fun facts, i work at ulta beauty as a sales girl (so i love makeup and meeting people) and i love to read (especially autobiographies and spiritual self help books). lastly, my pronouns are she/her and i guess one more thing about me is i always have my hair and makeup done!!

thank you!!! 💕💕💕

You meet Steve while he's struggling to find foundation for Robin!

CW: endearingly awkward Steve, Reader is a bit flirty WC: 606 Divider credit to @hellfire--cult

Working in retail required you to find joy in the simple things. Helping someone find a lipstick shade that made them feel confident and beautiful. A day without any customers complaining about the products you had in stock (as though you were in charge of placing orders). When your boss was in a good mood and treated the employees to coffee from the food court.

Today’s little slice of entertainment was watching a guy stumble through the aisles in search of foundation, nearly knocking over a display of lipgloss in the process.    

“Fuckin’...shit…” he mumbled, brushing the sleeves of his denim jacket as though he could shed his embarrassment. “Fuckin’ Robin…always her goddamn errand boy.”

You stood there, lips tucked into your mouth to stifle your laughter, as he held up two bottles with similar shades. He examined them thoroughly, bringing them up to his eyes and squinting. “What the hell’s the difference…nah, they have to be the same.” He placed one back on the shelf and picked up another, his chest rising and falling as he took a deep breath to summon his patience. “Wait, hold on, is this another one?”

Okay. Time to put this man out of his misery.

“Can I help you with something?”

Your voice startled him from his thoughts. One bottle slipped from his grip, and he caught it mid-air before it could shatter all over the tile floor. His cheeks now splotched pink, he let out an embarrassed laugh.

“Stealthy. Like a ninja.” 

You nodded, your own smile actually genuine rather than the one you plastered on for ‘quality customer service.’ Gesturing to the bottles, you asked, “Do you need help choosing a shade?” 

“Wha–oh, yeah. But they’re not for me. I don’t wear makeup. Except for this one time when I was a kid and my cousin put some on me and made me pretend to be a princess at a tea party.” He cleared his throat and shook his head, a lock of light-brown hair grazing along his forehead. “My friend–who is a girl, but not a girlfriend, like we’re platonic with a capital P–she has a date tonight and asked me to get this for her. But I clearly have no idea what I’m doing.”

You inched closer, enough to smell the musky cologne he sported. “Did she tell you what shade to get?”

“Yeah, it was, uh, the Clinic brand?” He wrinkled his nose. “And she wrote down the number…”

He fished into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled slip of paper, and you saw Clinique 02 hastily scrawled on it.

“We keep the Clinique products over here.” You motioned him towards the next shelf and plucked the correct shade from its spot. “I believe this is what you want.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” he said with an exhale as he took the bottle from your hand. His fingertips brushed yours, and this time, you almost dropped the merchandise. 

You shrugged, acting like that electric spark didn’t pass between you. “Just doing my job.”

“Right. Yeah.” He scratched at the back of his neck. “Well, could I still buy you an ice cream from Scoops Ahoy as a thank you?”

“I can’t turn down free ice cream from a cute guy,” you said. “My shift ends at seven, if you wanna swing by then?”

His face turned an even deeper red. “I can do seven.” He started towards the register, then made an about-face. “I’m Steve, by the way. Steve Harrington.”

You let your gaze linger on the moles on his neck for a moment before you responded.

“Nice to meet you, Steve Harrington.” 

--

[lakesbian]

ok so my askbox is closed until i clean it like a responsible individual but i got dm'd a question so here it is

Who is your favorite Wildbow Antagonist: for both Worm, Pact, and Twig?

which is interesting because i dont think about antagonists very much compared to my designated groups of Special Little Protagonist Guys. obviously. that said

pact, listing first, bc it's got my favorite antagonist out of any of the three novels: i bet for most people its a competition btwn faysal and barbatorem and i do like faysal enough that i feel bad saying this but like. it's barbatorem. it's definitely barbatorem. that -- WAIT FUCK UR EXISTS. ohh shit. how did i forget ur exists. uh. um. uh. uh. folks i cant pick. please dont make me pick. barbatorem produced the only scene in the novel where i was genuinely afraid for blake (antagonist so bad it makes Lakesbian feel empathy 4 blakey the universal punching bag), and hes just like. a horrifying horrifying concept. more horrifying the longer you think about what he was used for. but at the same time, ur is just completely incredible conceptually, and the scene w/ the knights talking about the effects it had on them fucks me up. i feel like i do have to pick barbatorem in the end tho, just because of his power & significance and completely fundamental role in the story's creation. this has been my liveblog in picking a favorite pact antagonist, pact is so fucking good, please read pact

worm: [sweating really hard looking between a few of the endbringers and echidna] e ., [remembers that the simurgh caused echidna] uhhhhh [thinks about arc 8 again] uuuuuuh im gonna come back to this one

twig: mauer pre-character assassination bc the scene where he holds sylvester over an open fire and coldly breaks him completely emotionally open to the point where he's forced to be Honest for once in his wretched british black ops child soldier life is fucking awesome.

worm again: okay in the interest of brand loyalty i'm sticking to the simurgh

i extend this question to everyone else for fun also. what are you peoples favorite antagonists in each wildbow novel youve read, and why

[verdantlights]

Theory time for when you have the time and energy!

Everyone is a little (understandably) delulu about Till being alive in the new art, but my artist brain did a very uncanny theory.

What if the reason Till uses the wrong hand and doesn't have the branding is... Because that isn't Till at all? What if it's Io?

There's also a weird upside down blue triangle between Till's hand and his cheek, basically would've been the reflection of the Till in the mirror. I don't know what's up with that and why it's there but it bothers me, like it's a fragment taken out of a puzzle and matches the background more than the colors used on Till himself.

okay hi im here my gears have been working

im using you to start my own ramble anon thank you i love you anon

also the blue triangle is uhhhh the bandage over tills nose on that specific design

ANYWAYS BRINGING BACK MY PURGATORY THEORY (rolls in whiteboard)

okay so remember the first friday after round 7? this one?

yeah. yeah were bringing this back.

you can clearly see lines in the back showing the false sky, clouds, and trees of ANAKT.

till has an IV hooked up to him and he's still tagged. we would still be able to see his brand from this angle, but there isnt one there.

now we look at todays drop

whats in the background? a false sky and clouds. where is tills brand? nowhere to be found. hes still in his round 7 fit, but he only has one hand up on the "mirror" ...and its not even the correct hand as you said anon

both ivan and sua have both of their hands up and are looking at us with blood on them, representing their "deaths" (i put death in quotes cause i refuse to believe any of them are dead ahahahahshahdnahagabwmde theyre not dead guys!!!!!)

till is not facing us, and we cant see au till's face either.

till is most likely in some sort of purgatory, he has one foot out the door/one foot on deaths doorstep. that purgatory is the Great Anakt.

as for ivans, his background has the pink hearts. that probably is just. him dying for the one he loves. im a bit unsure about ivans honestly. i will say that both faces arent covered at all. yes ivans eye is covered by his hair, but his face still isnt obscured by perspective. he bared his whole heart for till

now as for sua... blinks my eyes autistically at you about the android sua theory.

okay so listen. sua is partially covered in the back, and her body is turned in a way so that her other hand is obscured. we know shes still using both hands though because we can see her elbow. so why is she partially obscured? because bababababababaa aaaaa android. or the theory that sua will come back "wrong"

the sua in the back honestly reminds me of my september. like genuinely i get my september vibes from the sua in the back. shes so uncanny. she looks lifeless but still.... somehow alive. and the real sua looks like she knows. she knows something while also being sad or melancholy.

its terrifying tbh.

thats all i have i might come back with more cause im p sure i forgot a few thinfs

im just like. whats getting me is that they uploaded a day early. are we getting a double upload?? cover maybe??? teaser??? idk

[borzoilover69]

I *need* the 3 paragraph essay on davejake. They give me brainworms, please

Alright here it is, me rambling at length about davejake to some person, now copy pasted on tumblr!

So as you already know (or dont) i often frame dave and jake hanging out as clubbing buddies. That's all there is to their relationship. My personal headcanon is that dave is such a loser postgame. I think he would fall out with karkat because he doesnt know how to clean up after himself and gets more aloof and sort of a jackass down the line (count it on bad parenting!!) and it pisses off karkat so bad they dont have a tumultuous breakup they just sort of fizzle out bcus both of them dont have the balls or the energy to tell the other its over they just sort of stop talking. 

It doesnt just impact his relationship with Karkat, I imagine he'd fall out with a lot of his friends because it's okay to be an insufferable prick when youre 13 or 16 but less so when youre in your 20s. This would especially impact his relationship with John. If you look at it from a subjective opinion, its a wonder they ended up friends in the first place. They have different interests, contrasting personalities, and different ideas of fun. I like the idea that John would have depression postgame, and I think that Dave just wouldnt know how to handle it at all, doesnt really know how to connect. Theyd be stuck in this thing where they can't think of a single good thing about the other when they're apart, but when they're togehter it's fine. You know its bad when you dont have literally anything to talk abt with your best friend. hes totally indifferent to any of daves comments on politics or the ilk. 

Dave understands that time and relationships dont go well at all he cant stay in touch with old friends, but also doesnt really desire cant new friends, stuck perpetually in limbo.

and thats the thing sort of the same with jake. jake hits it off big but realising so many people want him and desire to be around him makes him lose touch with his old group so hes grown distant too, theyd get along because they dont care enough to know the other on a deeper level and it suits them just fine.  like they might wonder but thatd open a pandoras box.  

For Dave it’s the fact that Jake doesn’t show outward opposition to his brand of bullshit, and doesn’t ask nor desires to get deep with him, so it’s fine. Here for a good time not for a long time.  They can do all the things that dirk is too much of a shut-in prude to do. (Same goes for John) and just hangout. Hookup a few times. 

For Jake, Dave is a strider (something he likes) and again, doesn’t ask and isn’t someone who wants to get deep with him which suits him just fine because Dave can be fun if they’re doing something fun and Jake doesn’t want to go alone. Which he doesn’t. Jake English is the type of guy to fill his entire schedule just to avoid talking to people one on one that hes known for a long time (doesn’t want to get intimate just wants to have a lot to talk about with no qualms.) 

Like he also doesn’t want to know Dave on a personal level but he can convince the guy to go on benders because Dave has nothing really going for him and they can bitch about their selective friend groups w/o it coming back to bite both of them in the ass due to them obviously not going to tell the others about it.  Which is great. For them. 

Its funny as hell to imagine them helping each other but they genuinely do not give a fuck about that at all. Funny In the glaringly not endgame our friend groups both sort of ditched us but we sort of also enabled that to happen (we lack the ability to try hard at it for too long without getting uncomfortable) and base level of similiartiy that doesn’t show signs of fluctuating so as long as they’re generally entertaining and on board to party and do fun things they are friends and or in relations (complicated and a sworn open secret) to each other.

Honestly it’s likee canon. To me. Im a big fan of less than conventional relationships. A lot of the fun comes from exploring the lengths they would go to stave off boredom in the face of immortality and  trying to stave off having a deep conversation or revelation while tiptoeing around issues they have with others and with themselves through a safe haze of vices. Like they’d get close to it but get interrupted. 

Dave and Jake are silly as heck. Love those goobers. Their relationship to Dirk is purely they know to not fuck with each other because it’d genuinely upset dirk really bad but they do it anyway. And it’s true they see attributes of their best friend in the other with added benefits of them not being so uptight as their best friends from childhood. 

[dr-spectre]

team bread ?!?

side-eyeing aside, how do you feel about this upcoming splatfest ?

Upcoming Splatfest? You mean the Grand Fest right?

I'm gonna assume that is what you're talking about and you know what? I'M SO DAMN HYPED FOR IT!

WE'RE GETTING A BRAND NEW HUB FOR THIS SPLATFEST!!! AND ITS A FUCKING CONCERT WITH GOD DAMN ELECTRONIC RAVE REMIXES OF THE IDOLS SONGS! AND THERE'S INK EVERYWHERE AND UGHHH!!! I LOVE IT!!! ITS GONNA BE SO INSANE IM GONNA CRY I SWEAR TO GODDDDDD!!!!

If I hear Calamari Inkantation remixed by all three of the groups, I will not shut up about it for the next 4 years until we get Splatoon 4. I'm gonna be so fucking annoying and I won't apologise for it.

I mean sure the theme is kind of predictable but hey, it presents some interesting philosophical questions just like how Chaos vs. Order did, and i find those kinds of Splatfests to be the best ones. It's less about an Idol war or some useless shit, but it actually brings about genuine philosophical discussions and I love that!

I know that a lot of people are freaking out about the consequences about this Splatfest, myself included. If Team Past wins, will we go back to the past and never see Callie, Marie, Pearl, Marina, etc, for the next 5 to 7 years? If Team Future wins, will Callie and Marie be old women, and will the other characters we've grown to love.... pass away?

After thinking about it and seeing tweets from people on Twitter discuss it, nah, i don't think either of those outcomes will happen. Remember when people were making a fuss about if Chaos wins that Inkopolis would be covered in flames and be destroyed? Looked at what happened in Splatoon 3. Chaos was just an aesthetic for the new location Splatsville, the Idols, music, etc, and the Inkopolis we know ended up being okay!

If Team Future wins we might get a cool futuristic aesthetic for Splatoon 4 but it'll still be in the same timespan as Splatoon 3! Same with Team Past! Team Present will be the same sort of aesthetic we have currently duh. Obviously it'll be a few years after Splatoon 3 but I'm sure the characters we know we'll be okay!.... right?.... right nintendo?

I think the reason why people say that is because Nintendo has gone on record and said that Splatoon 3 is the "finale of the Splatoon saga" but they only mean the story mode of that game as ROTM tied up everything together theme wise in a neat trilogy. Callie, Marie, and everyone you like will come back because it would be a terrible financial and story decision to get rid of them. How will Nintendo sell new amiibo and merchandise? Off the Hook is so god damn popular and they would obviously come back in new outfits to sell new amiibo. Come on guys. Think like a business person for a second here.

I genuinely don't understand why some fans are so fucking adamant on wanting a clean reboot and to never see these characters again. Why do you want that SOOOO badly? I see that shit a lot on the Splatoon reddit man.

You don't wanna see these two again? Some of the best written characters in the series? You never wanna see these gay cephalopods ever again?!

YOU NEVER WANNA SEE THESE THREE GOOFBALLS THAT WE ALL LOVE AGAIN?!?! THEY HAVE SO MUCH STORY POTENTIAL AND YOU WANT THAT TO BE WASTED?!? FOR WHAT?!?!

And.... you don't wanna see the OGs again? You never wanna see Callie and Marie EVER AGAIN? The most iconic characters in the franchise, up there with the Inklings themselves!!! They have gone through so much and it's clear that Nintendo wants to keep them around, Marie has said in the Splatune 3 interview that she feels like she has an important role in creating the next generation of Idols. And yet... after what the shit they have gone through... you want them gone?

I truly don't believe you want that. Unless you don't really care about them...

Anyways, I am very much excited for the Grand Fest, so much so that thinking about it is giving me weird feelings in my chest. All of the screenshots I'm gonna take... eeeeee.... God help me.

[lggy]

I’m on both and every time I go back over to aphtwt it’s like that guy with pizzas going into a room on fire

its a long ass story thats been going on since the reveal of s7. here's just a recount of what's been going on lately for anyone curious i guess. its just to answer why a lot of people are icked out by laurance right now and why people are saying "i cant enjoy laurance anymore"

bascially laurance's va doesn't know how to properly manage his image,

ive been following him long before, he would have a few old tweets and tiktoks where he gets really annoyed towards aphmau fans, and reasonably so

...after the reveal of s7, he tried coming back to make his brand Laurance except he's using his NFSW bdsm account. after people started trying to link his nsfw links to his aphwiki page i made a twt post asking people to stop doing that. thats when we realized seb is obsessed with searching himself up on twitter and he proceeded to QRT me and make a few response posts reiterating what i said and apologizing for interacting with minors on his nsfw account. he made a new alt account for interacting with fans on aphtwt.

that was back around september-october

he searches himself and laurance up constantly to QRT and pick fights and stuff. its clear he's going through mental shit - he talks about it a lot. but it took him months to realize hes not fit to be running an account to host his image/brand that he wants to be about Laurance. he picks up on any drama around himself and kinda has a villain speech every time someone doesnt like him. im kind of starting to feel bad for him.

this is all while lowkey begging Jess to contact him again to bring him back for VA work, cryptically referring to her sometimes as "The Creator". I forgot to mention he had this whole "Guys im having a huge reveal, Im coming back to VAing for a very special charater.." thing. me and a lot of people picked up on him being kind of.. fake? basically, he shit on aphmau before, equated VA work to a MLM, then had a total sudden switch-up as soon as s7 was announced and realized he can renew his role. he had a video saying he wants this job to get a new tattoo.

^ 'What's wrong with wanting money?' the thing is being a VA means you need to have a good image and thats usually generated by having a good fanbase. all that really said was that he's just hopping on a bandwagon to get paid and thus his fan interactions just came across as desperate and bait-y and fake as hell. think about how other VA's interact w their fans then compare it to this,

what happened yesterday was that garroth's VA announced he was doing a mystreet rewatch with much of the og cast!... then sebastian QRT'd with this

someone even asked if he can join them too

then he joined the discord. then got banned after 10 minutes.. then crashed out about it on twitter, posting that garroth's va blocked him. not posting the massive paragraph he had because its kinda the sameburger poetry. i genuinely have no idea why he would post this than to like, try to get people to turn on garroth's VA. severely inappropriate behavior for someone trying to come back to being a VA

allegedly, seb had livestreamed a while ago where he said something along the lines of, (quoting from oomf's memory) "I don't recommend you contacting or asking any of the old VAs about me, I don't know if they still think about me the same bc of how I was back then. Bipolar Disorder was really bad for me back then, it made me so edgy." and how other VAs had issues with him and tension. - i dont have a source for this but it lines up with this tweet :

where he very inappropriately and for no reason mentioned he had issues with another VA. the problem is he had NO reason to bring that up and had the situation he was referring to was about gene having a fill-in on a cocomau video and nothing to do with seb himself or any drama or anything.

aaand i think thats all. that's the laurance downfall crashout chronicles , i didnt want to get too detailed but i can ask questions and whatever

personally, i nevr really beleived this guy would ever get hired again. all because he uses his real/brand name for his porno stuff. the company does background checks yknow

[selfundiagnosed]

update uhh they scrubbed the super awesome pro lgbt wink wink nudge nudge social media accounts for Kum & Go because all Kum & Go’s are being replaced by Mavericks. theyre Utah based and very concerned about the sexual connotations of the name “Kum & Go” so by next year be prepared to say goodbye to beautiful Kum & Go. the purity panic is murdering an actual absolute legend. All of my hard work i spent growing the Kum & Go tiktok account from 0 to almost 200k like no trace of it. i have no car and have had to quit my irl job because of it & was considering doing remote work through social media marketing again and i would only be able to cite my experience with Kum & Go but they silently wiped all my videos off the account. im so like. even if not to work a job it would be cool to have all that work still up. Like fuck idk dude. that was kind of my hope for 2024. i cant rlly work without a car so i was like if i get mentally better i can go back to doing that and it would be a lot easier than having go figure out something else. which like we cant all have our ideal worlds but the bus doesnt come anywhere near where i live so it just sucks. i know how this website feels about corporate accounts but fuck. Kum & Go was. It was fucking awesome lmfao i was genuinely proud to be a corporate account if the corporation was Kum & Go. they were so focused on being in on the joke of their name and did so much help to the community in recent years like hiring associates who just came out of prison. people with records. People with weird hair colors and visible tattoos and piercings. associates had amazing benefits. & like our social media department worked with a gay man who streamed on twitch to sell a shirt that said Kum & Gay rights like in the purity panic i thoroughly do believe like it was impactful and meaningful. did lots of fundraising for LGBT organizations like locally Iowa Safe Schools and their annual GSA event for lgbt iowa teenagers in GSAs. now the company is being killed! and ik its a corporation a company & intrinsically flawed because of that, i had my own personal gripes with this aspect. But like fuck. I remembering being on tumblr sneakily as a 12 year old and seeing the tumblr heritage posts of ppl discovering kum & go… like i knew i wanted to do a Denny’s tumblr-esque thing around this tjme too so when i had to opportunity to work on their tiktok account and build it up from scratch it felt like the universe handed me the opportunity on a silver platter. im just like fuck this fucking sucks. heres the article idk if i can get a link without a paywall though :/ anyway. RIP to a legend. go find the nearest one and buy the epic kum merch while you still can this year guys :/

[stevethehairington]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @stevecarrington!!!!! I HOPE TODAY IS UNBELIEVEABLE!! i'm so glad this fandom has brought us together, you're such a wonderful friend and im very lucky to know you!! i know how much you love steddie AND ted lasso so i whipped up a little steddie lasso for you, i hope you enjoy 💕💕

⚽️✨️⚽️✨️⚽️✨️⚽️✨️⚽️✨️⚽️✨️⚽️

Eddie is not quite sure how he got here.

One day he was sprawling across his ornately carved DM throne, gleefully ruining the lives of those brave enough to sit at his table and dip their toes into his particular brand of tabletop roleplay chaos, and the next he was packing up his life and getting on a bus heading west, back to god damn Hawkins, Indiana — the hometown he swore he'd never come back to all to coach soccer.

Yeah. That's right. Soccer.

The thing is — he's never been a sportsball kind of guy. Not baseball, not basketball, not football. Certainly not soccer. Outside of ogling the players for their tight little shorts and their calf-hugging socks, of course. The only reason he knows even the slightest brush of the basics — and even then, it's a strech to say he knows it — is because Wayne is a sportsball guy.

But apparently that incredibly bare quasi-knowledge of it was good enough for Chrissy — Eddie's best friend extraordinaire and prominent figure in the sports world (truth be told, Eddie really couldn't tell you what her actual position was — all he knew was that she did everything and was everywhere. Seriously, it was insane how many connections she had in the world of professional organized sports.) — because when she heard the words "looking for strong leadership" and "to build comraderie" and especially "with a creative, outside of the box approach" when the league announced that they were looking for a new head coach, she had immediately submitted Eddie's name. Without even consulting him on it. Without even telling him in the first place.

It was a true testament to just how desperate the club was that they had actually chosen him.

Getting that call had boggled his damn mind.

Still does, if he's being honest.

And now here he is, fresh off the bus and standing in front of Nancy goddamn Wheeler — the tiny, but incredibly intimidating owner of the whole goddamn team.

"Eddie, welcome," Nancy says, flashing him a perfectly pleasant smile that still somehow makes him feel like prey. "It's great to meet you."

She holds out her hand, and Eddie quickly wipes his palm against his jeans before accepting it. Her handshake is firm — she's not fucking around.

"It's lovely to meet you too, ma'am," Eddie replies, with his politest midwestern manners.

Nancy's lips press together, turning down at the corners, and for a brief moment Eddie thinks he's somehow managed to fuck this up already. Could you get fired for sweaty hands? Was that legal?

But then a small laugh slips from those lips and Nancy says, "Just Nancy. Ma'am makes me feel like I'm seventy-five and belong in the bingo hall."

Eddie can't help the bleat of laughter that bubbles out, probably a little too enthusiastic. "Hey, the bingo hall's a riot," he says.

That gets Nancy to chuckle again before she clears her throat and smooths down the lapels of her blazer. "Well, thank you so much for taking on this position, we're really grateful to have you here, and we look forward to seeing what you can do for us," she says, and she sounds genuine about it, which puts Eddie a little more at ease. Nancy barrels on, "I'm sure Chrissy had briefed you about speaking with the press?" She asks, but she doesn't give him a chance to answer. "You'll just be sitting down with some journalists and answering any questions they may have — and I'm sure they'll have plenty."

Eddie lets out another nervous titter. Yeah, he's sure too. "Sure," he says. "Um, and that's... tomorrow? Later this week?"

Nancy makes a face, a sort of half grimace, half sympathetic thing.

Eddie's stomach turns.

"Actually," Nancy starts, eyes flickering towards the door behind Eddie, "it's right now."

Shit.

"Did— did Chrissy not let you know that?" She asks, chewing on her lip.

"No, no!" Eddie is quick to reply. "She did, I'm sure she did, I just— probably wasn't listening. It's kind of been a... crazy fucking day—" his eyes go wide, "— I mean—"

Nancy laughs. "You can say that a-fucking-gain," she agrees, and Eddie's shoulders relax from where they'd tensed up to his ears.

"Well, I'm sorry to just throw you to the wolves like this, but we can't really call it off now," Nancy continues, giving him an apologetic look.

Eddie glances towards the door too and nods. Rolls back his shoulders and straightens his spine. Let's himself slip into his DM persona — the guy that can handle every punch that's thrown his way, no problem.

"No, it's fine. I got this," he says, nodding again.

Nancy smiles and leads him towards the door. "Whenever you're ready," she tells him.

Eddie takes a deep breath, steels himself, and turns the handle.

Immediately he is bombarded by flashing cameras and an increase in volume as dozens of eyes all pinprick right onto him.

He's got this. They're just people. He's good with people.

Eddie climbs the two steps leading up to the staging area and swaggers to his place behind the desk, dropping himself into the seat. He reaches out to tap the microphone, which emits a sharp whine that shuts the crowd up.

He stifles his grin and leans into the mic, "Let's start this thing, shall we?" He pauses, scans the audience, quirks a brow. "Questions?"

Almost every single hand shoots straight up.

Yep. Should've seen that coming.

"Okay, okay, you know what? Let's just—" he motions for everyone to put their hands down, "— yeah, there we go. Great. Thanks. Right. I'm sure a lot of you have some of the same questions, so why don't I start by clearing a few things up first."

He wriggles in his seat, getting comfortable. "Yes, the rumors are true. No, I have not coached soccer before. Haven't coached anything before, actually. Hell, I'm probably the least qualified guy they could have hired for the spot," he laughs, and a murmur goes through the crowd. "I don't really know the first thing about soccer, but what I do know is that this team, the Hawkins Demodogs FC, these ferocious warriors of sport— they're going to get out on that field and they're— they're gonna put all of their intelligence and wisdom and strength into it," he says firmly, falling back on his trusty DnD knowledge. Game of sports can't be that different from a campaign, right? "They're gonna put their constitution to good use and fall back on their dexterity and they're going to defeat their enemies — I'll make sure of it."

Glasses guy in the second rows eyebrows lift, almost like he recognizes the terminology.

"Now," Eddie says, clapping his hands together. "I'll take one question from the masses. Make it a good one."

The hands shoot back up again, but the only one Eddie notices is the one belonging to glasses guy. It raises it a beat after the rest, lifts his hand into the air relaxed, easy, like he doesn't actually care.

It intrigues Eddie. He intrigues Eddie.

"You, in the second row," Eddie says, pointing right at the man.

A slow smile spreads across his face as he rises to his feet, clicks his pen, pushes up his glasses again.

"I like your glasses," Eddie comments, unable to help himself.

The guy's smile twists at the corners. "Thank you," he says, and his voice is smooth, rich, like honey. Eddie kind of wants to bathe in it.

His stomach swoops. "And you are?"

"Steve Harrington, the Indypendent," he says.

Eddie leans forward on his elbows, lets his smile turn a little flirty. "What's your question, Steve Harrington from the Indypendent?" He asks, stretching out Steve's name, loving the way it tastes in his mouth.

"Yeah, I've just got one question for you," he says. He fixes a narrowed, nettled look on Eddie, cocks a hip, and says, in a perfectly, deliciously, bitchy tone, "is this a fucking joke?"

Oh, he's going to be a fun one.

[trips2saturn]

didn’t do last week’s but here it is: TOWL EPISODE 5 SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️‍🔥

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ANOTHER LEGENDARY EPISODE FOR THE TWD HISTORY BOOKS. can we get a round of applause please? 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 yes. great. perfect.

you already know what i’m about to scream about. THE RICHONNE PROPOSAL™️ HELLODHSJDHSKBDJSHSHSSBSBSJEISNS DID I NOT PREDICT IT YES OR NO. YES I DID!!!!! THE RING 😭😭😭 HIS SPEECH 😭😭😭 HIM GETTING ON ONE KNEE AND THEN SHE GETS ON HER KNEES TOO?!?1?2!$:)!/!:/& HER RESPONSE TOO?! SEDATE ME THIS IS ALL I’VE EVER WANTED. imagine thinking we haven’t won the damn lottery with this ship it’s neverrrr over for us i love them i love them so much they’re going home next episode, and we’re going to see the ring on her finger WATCH THIS SPACE ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹🥺😁

not even five minutes into the episode and i was being ambushed with both admiration and TORTUROUS PAIN. the cute little callback to 7x12 of them just being on the road, scavenging, surviving, and loving on each other was sooooo cute. rick kissing the back of mich’s hand. DOES THIS SHOW WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING VERY CATASTROPHIC BC I WILL.

BOOM. immediate anguish right after their cutie scene because what does rick do? OH RIGHT HE PULLS OUT THE PHONE OF CARL’S DRAWING AND STARES AT IT SOLEMNLY. CATASTROPHIC THOUGHTS ARE FORMING EXPONENTIALLY LITTLE TUMBLR PEOLLE 😭😭😭❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹😔😔😔😔 i can’t do this anymore no more please. i cried so hard last episode i’m tired brother

that brief scene of rick wanting to bring a gift home for rj. that’s his baby. michonne saying that he’s the brave man, and that just him coming home to them was enough. i need like three days to process this episode it was SOOOOO SOFT

“tasteful noods?” they’re idiots but they’re my idiots. i am also an idiot because just before she said that, i paused the show and read the truck and laughed out loud at the brand. i swear we’re so tethered. michonne and trips, sisters in another universe <3

im not going to sugarcoat anything. idgaf about jadis’s death. in fact, i am celebrating!!!!! will byers is NO MÁS good damn riddance.

ALSO HELLO GABRIEL? i was quite comforted to see a member of the group. those random meetups with haircut were interesting to say the least, especially the kiss because ummm was he not still dating rosita? idk idc i can’t keep up with the timelines anymore it’s not that serious unless it’s rick and michonne

also thank you GABRIEL for the wedding ring, and thanks jadis for giving it to rick. haircut was good for something in the end i guess. doesn’t matter what her ending was, i didn’t feel any reconciliation or compassion. she’s still a piece of shit who stole a great portion of rick’s life from himself and his entire family. burn in the hottest depths of hell. xo!

WAS THAT A PAINTING OF GLENN IN JADIS’S FLASHBACK? IF SO HOW AND WHY IM GENUINELY CONFUSED SOMEONE PLEASE REPLY OR DM ME ASAP

the callback to 6x10?!?!?? spearmint and baking soda?!?! I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY SONS BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!???????? danai and andy took the little richonne file in my brain and STUDIED it to make sure that they filmed every scene that i’ve ever wanted to happen to them. no source just trust me they did it

RICK GIVING MICH A BRAND NEW “M” NECKLACE OHHHHH 😔😔🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 THEYRE SO LOVEBUG. LIKE WOAH OKAY TROY AND GABRIELLA 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭❤️‍🩹 she deserves it so much! and then their kiss inside of the cabin afterwards, and them falling back onto the bed urgsjdvajdbabbs cutie pies!!!!!!!!!!!

every jadis scene pissed me off, so I won’t go into detail too much. you guys know how much i hate her. anyway, michonne using the axe to slice jadis like a cold cut… mother. love her. ALSO her rage when speaking about haircut too, yeah that was the perfect amount of dialogue that i wanted to see from her. her stealing rick’s time of seeing rj’s birth, first steps, etc. UGH. so excellent, you could feel her burning anger in her voice.

all of these callbacks throughout the episode but the best, most important and evident one was the mere fact that they’re a team again. kicking ass, and simply leading each other because that’s what they’re the best at. before any of their romance began, they were trusted confidants who worked so well side by side, and in this episode we got to see and feel the satisfaction and elation of having that back again!!!!!

i felt like i was at a drive thru restaurant ordering the entire episode. can i get some flirting, with a side of ass kicking, and ummm let me get a side of poetic, confessional yearning from rick grimes. yeah, that’ll be all.

rick telling gabriel that he wanted to marry michonne on the bridge. 🥺……. 😡 AND THEN EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT AFTERWARDS. IMAGINE THE WORLD IF JADIS NEVER KIDNAPPED HIM. THEY WOULD HAVE FOUND HIM EVENTUALLY LIKE HE WAS RIGHT UP THE STREET?? oof — i cannot. we waited so long to hear this admirable dialogue but at what cost. it’s so sad, but at least we’re here now as michonne would say!!!!!

okay. ❤️‍🩹 there’s still so much to unpack but that’s enough out of me for the moment. brain’s still scrambled eggs. last but not least, michonne grimes is the hottest character ever. THE BOXERS?! she looked fucking amazing in every single outfit. if i were rick, i’d be kissing every inch of her neck too HELLO

don’t forget to stream the ones who live episode FIVE 5️⃣ on amc+ and don’t forget to watch it tonight on amc’s channel at 9pm!!!! ❤️‍🔥 so stoked for episode 6. it’s going to be the best one ever. it’s so hard to rank them at this point and i don’t want to either. every episode is better than the last! REAL TELEVISION IS BACK. 🫶🏼❤️‍🔥

[tomhardystories]

Part 7

Over the next few months, Tom and Jules fell into a friendship so easy it was almost suspicious. No forced niceties, no awkward silences - just a steady stream of sarcasm, late-night texts, and the occasional coffee that somehow lasted three hours. It was a dynamic that felt less like meeting someone new and more like finding an old friend who’d been stuck in traffic for thirty years.

It started with their late-night texts, which became a near-daily ritual. Jules would tease Tom mercilessly about his terrible texting habits, and he would fire back with equally sharp comebacks.

Jules: Still typing with one finger? I can practically hear the hunt-and-peck method from here. Tom: Mocking my process doesn’t make it faster. Jules: It’s character-building. You should thank me.

Their banter became the cornerstone of their friendship - quick, playful, and refreshingly straightforward. Jules relished having someone who could match her sharp wit without missing a beat, and Tom found it freeing to be around someone who treated him like an ordinary guy rather than a Hollywood figure. Their conversations felt effortless, an even exchange of humor and honesty that neither of them had realized they were missing.

When Tom wasn’t busy being a Hollywood star or a dedicated dad, they’d meet up. Their in-person meetups were equally chaotic. Tom was subjected to Jules’ self-declared “World Tour of Mediocre Coffee Shops” where she made him try suspiciously named drinks like the “Mocha Explosion Deluxe.” 

“This tastes like someone melted a chocolate bar in dishwater” Tom grumbled. 

“Yes” Jules said. “That’s the signature flavor.”

In return, Tom dragged Jules to a hidden bookstore in the West Village, claiming it was his “happy place.” Jules rolled her eyes but secretly loved it. She spent an hour mocking the over-the-top book titles in the self-help section before Tom caught her buying a collection of terrible poetry. 

“Is this for ironic purposes?” he asked

Of course, Tom’s celebrity life came with its own brand of nonsense, which Jules delighted in hearing about, and mocking.

“So this fan asked me to autograph her forehead” Tom said one afternoon as they sat on a park bench with lattes in hand.

Jules nearly dropped her coffee. “Her forehead? Were her arms broken?”

“She said it was going to be her next tattoo” Tom replied, looking both amused and horrified.

Jules wheezed with laughter. “Oh, this is excellent. I’m never letting you forget this. From now on, your brand is forehead tattoos.”

“Glad I could provide material for your stand-up routine” Tom deadpanned.

Moments like these became the norm: effortless, filled with humor, and surprisingly grounding. When Jules had a rough day at work, Tom became her go-to sounding board. He’d text her just to check in:

Tom: You still alive? Or do I need to send coffee and moral support? Jules: Alive. Barely. Coffee would help, though...

One afternoon, he showed up at her office unannounced, balancing two cups of coffee and a box of pastries for her team. Jules was quietly touched, though she deflected with her usual wit. 

Likewise, when Tom needed someone to vent to - whether about co-parenting frustrations or the grind of his work - Jules was always there, listening with genuine interest (and the occasional sharp comment to keep things from getting too serious).

“Why do people assume actors have it so easy?” he mused over tea one evening. “Because they don’t see you signing foreheads” Jules quipped, making him laugh despite himself.

Their connection wasn’t just about jokes, though. Over time, they began sharing more personal parts of their lives. Tom introduced Jules to his son, Louis, during a casual outing. To his surprise, Louis and Jules hit it off immediately, bonding over shared love of a specific animated series. Jules, in turn, brought Tom into her circle of friends, who were both intrigued and amused by his easy going nature.

“She doesn’t even roll her eyes at you that much” Samantha noted, impressed. “That’s progress.”

As their friendship grew, it became clear how much they valued each other’s presence. Jules appreciated having someone who genuinely listened without judgment, while Tom enjoyed the simplicity of being around someone who didn’t treat him like a celebrity.

There was no big declaration or dramatic shift - just a natural, comfortable rhythm. They weren’t just pals anymore; they were the kind of best friends who could count on each other for anything, whether it was a laugh, a coffee delivery, or a quiet moment of understanding. For both Jules and Tom, it was exactly what they hadn’t realized they needed.

Jules didn’t know what to expect when Tom invited her out. “Just a casual thing” he’d said over coffee, which, in Tom-speak, meant “I’ve planned something potentially life-altering, and I’m not telling you the details because I enjoy watching you squirm.”

When she walked into the bar, her first thought was that it seemed... normal. Warm lighting, low music, people laughing over drinks. Her second thought, upon spotting Leonardo DiCaprio and Cillian Murphy sitting with Tom at a corner table, was: Oh. Of course.

Tom waved her over, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “Jules, meet Leo and Cillian. Guys, this is Jules - my friend, occasional critic, and partner in crime.”

Leo stood first, extending his hand with a mischievous smile. “Ah, so you’re the legendary Jules. Tom’s mentioned you.”

Jules shook his hand, her brain immediately short-circuiting. What had Tom mentioned? That she was sarcastic? Prone to saying the wrong thing? Once compared him to a disgruntled sloth when he was grumpy?

“Good things, I hope” she said, recovering slightly.

Cillian, quieter but no less magnetic, stood next. He gave her a polite nod and extended his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise” Jules managed, trying not to be unnerved by the sheer intensity of his gaze.

“Alright” Tom said, gesturing to the empty seat beside him. “Sit down before Leo tries to recruit you for one of his climate documentaries.”

Leo feigned offense. “Excuse me, I don’t recruit people. I inspire them.”

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” Cillian deadpanned, earning a laugh from Jules.

The night started out easy enough. Jules was sipping her sparkling water, grateful Tom wasn’t drinking either - it made her feel less like a social pariah. She was trying to cut down on drinking, mostly out of solidarity with Tom, though she hadn’t quite mastered it yet. Leo, meanwhile, was holding court, effortlessly recounting stories about his environmental projects, dodgy fan encounters, and the time he accidentally bought a 20-foot yacht instead of a 10-foot one.

“It was an honest mistake” he insisted, taking a sip of his drink.

“Was it, though?” Cillian asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jules leaned toward Tom. “Do normal people accidentally buy yachts, or is that strictly a rich-people problem?”

Tom chuckled. “Depends. Do normal people accidentally buy a ridiculously overpriced bottle of olive oil just because it had a cute label?”

Jules sighed dramatically. “That happened once. Let it go.”

Cillian was clearly loving the banter. “So, Jules” he said, leaning in conspiratorially. “How’s Tom as a friend? Be honest. We won’t tell him.”

Jules didn’t miss a beat. “Oh, he’s great. Super dependable. He only cancels plans at the last minute like... half the time.”

Tom groaned. “That happened twice, and one of those was because my kid was sick.”

“Excuses” Jules quipped. “Also, he sends unsolicited playlists. Did you know there are entire albums of rain sounds accompanied by melancholy acoustic guitar? Because I do.”

Leo laughed so hard he nearly spilled his drink. “That is Tom. I love it.”

Cillian raised an eyebrow at Tom. “Still inflicting your playlists on innocent people, I see.”

“They’re curated” Tom defended. “Curated is different.”

As the night wore on, Jules found herself relaxing - helped along by the fact that Tom wasn’t drinking, which made her feel less self-conscious about her sparkling water.

“Honestly” Jules said at one point, “not drinking is harder than I thought. I mean, what do you do when everyone else is tipsy and you’re just... here?”

“You people-watch” Cillian said matter-of-factly, gesturing subtly toward a man at the bar who was gesticulating wildly with a cocktail umbrella stuck in his hair.

Leo grinned. “Or you start making up backstories for them. Like him - definitely a rogue spy trying to blend in but failing miserably.”

“Or he’s auditioning for the role of ‘drunk uncle’ at a wedding” Jules added, earning a rare chuckle from Cillian.

Tom, who was watching all this with a bemused expression, leaned closer to Jules. “See? You’re fitting right in.”

“Am I?” she whispered. “Because I feel like I’m one awkward comment away from becoming a meme.”

Leo overheard and laughed. “Don’t worry, Jules. If anyone makes you a meme, I’ll make sure it’s a flattering one.”

As the group shifted into smaller conversations, Jules found herself next to Cillian, who was nursing what looked like the world’s smallest glass of whiskey.

“So” Jules began, leaning her chin on her hand, “what’s the strangest place you’ve ever been?”

Cillian tilted his head, considering. “Strangest? Hmm. I’d say it was this tiny Irish village we filmed in once. Population of about twenty. The pub doubled as the post office, and the bartender was also the priest. It was like a sitcom waiting to happen.”

Jules laughed, picturing the scene. “That’s amazing. Did you have to confess your sins before getting a pint?”

Cillian smirked. “Not quite, but he did try to save my soul after I ordered a second whiskey.”

“Well” Jules said, straightening up, “I think I can top that. I once got locked in the janitor’s closet at the Museum of Modern Art.”

Cillian blinked, a flicker of surprise crossing his face. “You’re joking.”

“I wish I were” she said, already giggling at the memory. “I was trying to leave, but instead of pushing the exit door, I yanked open a closet. I stepped inside, realized it wasn’t the way out, and somehow the door slammed shut behind me.”

“And no one noticed?” Cillian asked, his brows lifting in amused disbelief.

“Apparently not” Jules replied, her voice rising as she relived the absurdity. “I was stuck in there for an hour, sitting on a bucket, surrounded by mops and the faint smell of lemon disinfectant.”

Cillian chuckled, shaking his head. “What did you do for an hour? Contemplate life among the cleaning supplies?”

“Oh, I went full panic mode” Jules admitted, gesturing animatedly. “At first, I banged on the door like I was auditioning for a horror movie. When that didn’t work, I texted a friend, but of course, she thought I was joking. So I ended up Googling ‘how to pick a lock with a bobby pin.’ Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work if you have no idea what you’re doing.”

Cillian laughed, the sound low and warm. “And how did you finally escape?”

“A janitor eventually came by and found me” Jules said, shaking her head. “The worst part was, he didn’t even look surprised. Just said, ‘Again?’ Like this was a regular occurrence.”

Cillian leaned back, clearly enjoying her story. “You must’ve made his week.”

“Probably” Jules agreed, grinning. “But I can’t step foot in that museum without feeling like the mops are judging me.”

“Well, that’s one for the memoir” Cillian said with a faint smile. “Locked in a closet at the MoMA. I’d call it performance art.”

“Oh, don’t encourage me” Jules quipped. “I’m already considering titling my autobiography Bucket Seats and Bad Decisions.”

Cillian chuckled again, and for a moment, the noise of the bar faded as they shared a quiet laugh, the conversation settling into that rare, effortless ease.

As they left the bar, Jules fell into step beside Tom, her heart light.

“Thanks for tonight” she said, her tone more sincere now. “Your friends are… surprisingly ordinary. For Hollywood, anyway.”

“They like you” Tom said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Leo told me you’re funnier than me, which, honestly, I’m not sure I’m okay with.”

“Don’t worry” Jules teased. “Your ego will recover.”

Tom laughed, shaking his head.

As her cab pulled up, Jules hesitated. “Really, they are… not what I expected.”

“Yeah?” Tom asked, tilting his head.

“Yeah” she said with a smile. “They’re weirdly normal.”

“Don’t let Leo hear you say that” Tom said, smirking. “He’ll take it as an insult.”

And with that, she hopped into the cab, leaving Tom to wonder, not for the first time, how someone like Jules had become such an important part of his life.

Tom was sitting on his balcony, nursing a cup of coffee and basking in the rare glory of a peaceful morning. No script rewrites. No co-parenting emergencies. Just him, a slightly overcast sky, and the knowledge that he didn’t have to pretend to like kale today. Then his phone buzzed.

He glanced at the screen. Leo.

Tom smirked and answered, already bracing himself. Leo never called without an agenda. “Morning, DiCaprio. To what do I owe this honor? Did a yacht spring a leak?”

Leo’s laugh came through the line. “Funny. No, I wanted to talk about something, or, rather, someone.”

Tom took a sip of his coffee, narrowing his eyes. “If this is about me joining another climate fundraiser where I have to dress like a tree, I...”

“No, no” Leo interrupted, his tone suspiciously casual. “It’s about Jules.”

Tom froze, the cup halfway to his mouth. “Jules?” He cleared his throat, aiming for nonchalance but hitting more of a confused parrot. “What about her?”

“I like her” Leo said simply, as though he were announcing he’d found a new favorite oat milk. “She’s smart, funny, doesn’t take any of your crap, and let’s face it, Tom, that’s a short list.”

Tom squinted at the horizon, trying to process. “Wait, you like her? As in, you want to...” He gestured vaguely at the air, even though Leo couldn’t see him. “....ask her out?”

“Why not?” Leo said, like he’d just suggested ordering takeout. “She’s got a great vibe. And let’s be honest - she’s too cool to just hang out with you.”

Tom blinked. “Charming. Thanks.”

“Look, man, I’m serious. I think I’d like to take her out for a drink, get to know her a bit more. Do you think she’d go for it?”

For a moment, Tom said nothing. His brain was playing some sort of emotional pinball, bouncing between.... Jules? And Leo? And wait, why does this bother me? It didn’t make sense. Jules was Jules, his sharp-tongued, no-nonsense friend who once threatened to start a rumor that Tom was secretly writing a one-man musical about the life of a middle-aged goldfish who dreams of becoming a Broadway star.

“She’s… not really the dating-for-sport type” Tom said finally. “But hey, what do I know? You should probably just ask her yourself.”

Leo chuckled. “Fair enough. But maybe slip me her number? Just to break the ice?”

Tom hesitated, his thumb hovering over the send button like it was a detonator. Was this a good idea? Probably not. Was he going to stop Leo? Also probably not.

“Fine” he said with a sigh. “But if she stabs you with a cocktail stick, that’s on you.”

“Noted” Leo said, his grin practically audible. “Thanks, man. I owe you.  I'd like to call right away, but I don't want it to seem like I care too much. Do you think I should wait, like, a few days?”

“Yeah, whatever.” 

Leo. Of all people.

[commander-gloryforge]

okay after playing for a healthy and normal 10 hours finishing act one, here are my thoughts.

QQWWWWWWWWWWAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH YYEAAAAAASSASS S WWEWEWEEWWWW AYYYWEEEAEEDEDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSA WOOOOOOOOOOOOIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay . god. okAY. fuck. okay. so. i dont even know where to start im enjoying myself so much here its crazy. like im having such a good time genuinely holy shit.

THE MUSIC. fucuukkkkk god the music. okay it has a lot of that one instrument that i cant name but its a very specific sound that they used a lot in ibs too and i genuinely love that sound. god. FUCK. the music is so good. i think i already have a fave track but im not gonna name it just yet bUT FUCK ITS SO GOOD. i think im gonna have to get that one on vinyl when they release it. GOD.

also voice acting? HELLO???? insane job done by the kodan ESPECIALLY poised arrow, he's AMAZING. and the uh. The Big Bad Guy we fight at the end of chapter 5. uhm. hello. the voice. hello sir. hey. hiiiiii.

the map. ive only seen the first so far but by god this is my favoruite place ever in the world. i really love how peaceful that place is, but how alive it feels. theres events everywhere, the hearts are wonderfully done, it LOOKS just simply beautiful. its so much fun to explore and run around in and just do nothing but sit there and listen to the kodan talk. this is genuinely the best of. all worlds? like its HUGE but never feels empty, its fun to explore but easy to get through, its diverse and beautiful and alive, it feels like a core map but BETTER. the adventures are fun, I GOT TURNED INTO A FISH, the events are lovely, i want to eat this map.

warclaw??? actually feels good to use????? genuinely love how it feels now, actually kind of prefer it over raptor/jackal. i only have the first mastery on it because im focusing on homestead mastery but omg the jumping abilities are so fun and i cant wait to level the mastery more... the skin you get is so cute and i might genuinely use warclaw so much more now. its abilities are actually kinda fun to use too

SPEAR. i didnt get to test spears out a lot but i can confidently say that I LOVE GUARDIAN SPEAR i switched auroras build and now story fights are actually fun. have not tested it with any other class but its GOOD.

characters. i cant say so much about the story itself yet but it does feel so much better than soto just because of the characters alone. instead of being thrown into some brand new mess with a bunch of characters we dont know that quickly become irrelevant, we actually have known faces by our side- like properly. caithe and malice are are GREAT companions for this, i love the tyrian alliance (despite being a jennah hater) because we keep coming back to these characters we've known, it doesnt feel like all the relationships weve made have been cast aside anymore. HELL WE EVEN GET CHARACTERS THAT WERE MISSING SINCE IBS BACK! even if its just for a short time, THEYRE THERE, WE GET TO CHECK IN WITH THEM! THATS GREAT! and even with all the new characters, they dont feel as overwhelming, they just feel.. good? its just good. its just right.

and theres so much more to say but its 5:30am right now and i need to wrap this up.

god. okay its easy to please me. take everything i say with a grain of salt. i am very easily impressed and excited, ESPECIALLY when it comes to gw2, but it really does feel like theyre figuring it out. it feels like anet really did listen to us, and learned from soto, and things are going well. im so happy. i love this so much. AAAAAAAH

[crab-people-overlord]

Intro 🧡

guess I might as well do an intro

diagnosed adhd software engineer here (🩷💜💙 bruh why tf is there no bi emoji), coming to you from the Rocky Mountains (where rich people's empty ski homes are literally everywhere and driving up costs….. pls send help)

writing stuff + ao3 link

working on a canon-adjacent story about the main kids. it’s a short story so will be done soon :) and I hope to focus on more short stories in the future.

also doing a south park/good place crossover because why not

wrote this thing called "the cultish conundrum" which... exists... (planning to rewrite it someday when i git gud™️) (wrote this when I knew NOTHING of fandom so I did try to be canon-compliant but knew nothing of creative writing when I first started, so I hope to revisit to rewrite it to be actually… good one day lol)

Also if you’re an ao3 writer of your own and want me to kudos/comment just lmk!! I know this isn’t an excuse but my adhd makes it so bad for me to read others works but if I’m instructed to I genuinely love it and want to support y’all as from what I’ve seen, there’s SO many talented SP writers out there that I genuinely want to support so badly but am literally so bad at committing when there’s so many choices lmao

quick stats:

mid 20s and fresh out of college

chronic procrastinator turned aspiring hobbiest writer who still has a lot to learn (bear w me you guys; I studied computer science in college and just BS’d my my way thru the required English courses 😭)

ex-mormon who served a mission (emphasis on the ‘ex’- 🫡 🥲 god the stories I have lmfao) also I surprisingly still haven’t watched the BOM musical despite this?? tho I know the soundtrack by heart lol

works in tech and works from home

builds legos and is an incredibly nerdy gamer when not crying over learning how to write (most of my nights are spent either gaming w friends via discord or building legos or both)

I love all the main 5 equally and think they all have strengths and weaknesses that are often over generalized in fandom (tho view Eric specifically from a well written/complex antagonists lens and not as an apologist. I think he’s a racist and sexist sob with occasional good traits that don’t otherwise eliminate the overall bad he does. I think he’s literally meant to be the main antagonist, just as Matt and Trey intend him to be.

Though the other main four (butters, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny)- I will always be their lawyer and apologist lmao. I can’t stand when people view a couple isolated episodes for any of those four to demonize them (they literally all have an equal screen time of shitty behavior so it pisses me tf off when some focus on one over the other as evidence of being ‘worse’. I genuinely think they’re all equal from a moral lens; just in different strengths and ways. Feel free to ask for more details cuz I’ve got lots of opinions on this lmao) Butters, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny all try their best and I’ll accept no lasting slander on any of them 🥹 (tho of course will always accept nuanced views of them cuz none of them are close to perfect (this is what makes them realistic 😭- and love writing them w their flaws and all :)

so yeah!! south park has basically been my comfort show/emotional support media for as long as i can remember. like it's literally been keeping me sane through… everything

currently vibing in the fandom space (though still learning all the rules so pls be patient w me 🥺 I am NOT new to South Park, but am new to fandom, so… im genuinely open to any feedback. at the end of the day I don’t want any drama and just want to vibe w you all in the SP fandom). if i mess up tags or anything else or whatever just let me know!! I genuinely do want to be respectful but am brand fucking new to the fandom space/etiquette and it’s a little overwhelming tbh lmao. But I’m so down to learn.

absolutely down to chat about anything!! just use my ask box or dm if you're 18+ (minors welcome to interact via reblogs/public comments/ask section, just please no dm!). i promise i'm super chill and literally just here to vibe with other cool humans who don't tolerate any transphobic/racist/etc behavior.

SP style is honestly my OTP and what even compelled me to look into the fandom space in general tbh (and is kinda funny because most of my life I’ve just viewed them as canonically super best friends lmao). Even with style being my OTP, I love their deep friendship first and foremost even before any romantic ship. Don’t hesitate to reach out with one-shot requests in the ask-box tho! I’m happy to help to work on anything, really- even if style is platonic. I really vibe w Craig, for example.