#and im going to find something that makes diseases worse too

[h0ney8ee]

sunday night and instead of doing anything productive im downloading guns on the sims 2

[oceanofsinners]

“I'll find you every time, my dear. No matter what it takes.”

Yan!Multiverse traveler x gn!reader who dies every time.

[mdni or do, i don't care. asks are appreciated and very much needed im horrible at making prompts argh]

Every time. Every time. It's not fair. Why must the Gods curse him so?

You were his in every Universe, every life time. Yet you died so young. So pathetically every time. Once it was a disease, the next was suicide, and the last one was murder.

Of course, everyone who HARMS and FAILS YOU dies in every Universe. They don't deserve to survive. They don't deserve to live.

Just once, just once he wants to hold your hand as the two of you grow old. Or bring you along on his travels of the Multiverse. 

Arche sighed as he walked across the Universe, planets and different Universe’s surrounding his body.

Arche wasn't a God but neither was he Mortal. He lost the ability to die to Death a long, long time ago. So now he walks the Multiverse’s to spite the Gods who kill his lover every time.

The Gods do this as a punishment for cheating Death, perhaps. But they dare not actually try and get close to Arche. If they do, they will live a Fate worse then Death herself. 

When he's not pretending to be human, his skin is covered in blues, purples, and pinks like the galaxy itself, his eyes, one black one white. Black always forced to watch your Death, the white watching every new Life. 

Arche walks to the next Universe, wincing at how horrible it seems. Another war Universe? Alright. He always hates these ones. You almost always die in his arms. 

Arche steels himself, all six arms wrapping around the Universe as he leaves his body, his subconscious melding with the world.

Arche’s eyes flutter open, taking the form of a child, barely 7 years of age. His “parents” tell him to go to his hiding spot, and he does. 

Arche hides as he hears gun shots, screams, begging. He fiddles with the ends of his sleeves, curling into himself in the small hide of his. 

People run into the house, searching for resources and other survivors. 

A hologram laptop pops up in front of Arche, telling him everything he'd need to know about the Universe he's currently in. 

This Universe was created by Death, to get more souls...Everyone will die in twenty-six years due to a bomb...Alright, so he's got twenty-six years to find YOU, to get into a relationship with you, and hopefully confess to you what he is. 

And then help you become one too. 

Arche waits, freezing as someone opens the door. “Hey! I found....a kid?” The person pauses, and another adult walks over, frowning as they realize what they just did. 

“Fuck. We just orphaned a child.” The adult with brown hair curses, while the blonde smacks them away with a roll of their eyes. 

“Hey, little one. I'm Georgia, she/her, what's your name?” The woman asks, kneeling down as she smiles gently. Arche crawls further back, whimpering. 

“...Ar-Arche. He/him. Wh-Why’d you kill them...?” Georgia pauses, and sighs. She glances away, biting her lip. 

She's pretty, he's got to admit. Blonde hair that reaches her navel, a mole under her eye, green eyes that seem far too kind for a war. She's going to die young. 

The other adult interrupts. “That's just how life is right now, kid. You kill or be killed—” Georgia slaps him, and the two bicker for a few moments before Georgia sighs. 

“That’s Wyatt, my husband. He's...a bit blunt, isn't he?” Georgia snorts. Arche slowly crawls out after a ton of coaxing, and can finally fully look at Wyatt. 

He's got brown, curly hair that's rather long, in a ponytail. He's got brown eyes and tan skin, and a permanent glare on his face. He's got a huge scar over his nose. 

But, he notices something. No, someone. YOU. You're just a kid, maybe a year older or two, hiding behind Wyatt, glancing at him quietly. 

Wyatt glances between Arche and you, before Georgia pulls him away, as they go and talk in a corner, whisper yelling at each other

You're curious but cautious, glancing at him, or well, glaring. You look so pretty, even as a kid. 

The two sit in silence while the adults yell at each other, as it gets more intense. Arche frowns, and goes to cover his ears. 

But then, you pull him to your chest, covering his ears. He freezes, and you look away from the scene and him. 

“I’m sorry about them. They're stressed.” You murmur, and hours pass before the yelling stops. 

The two walk over, and Georgia smiles at the sight of the two of them huddled together, asleep. Wyatt snorts, picking up Arche, and Georgia picks up you. 

The two walk out, going to their hide out. Arche’s not asleep. He rarely is. 

Years pass and memories are made. Days where the good and bad happen.

Georgia dies first. Arche can remember your screams, and Wyatt and him having to pull you away. 

Wyatt died a few months later, leaving fourteen, almost fifteen, year old Arche and sixteen year old you alone. You quickly became a good caretaker for him, making sure he never got harmed. 

The day of your eighteenth birthday he confessed, and although at first nervous, you agreed. The years passed and days got better, brighter because he was around. 

Arche was stupid. He thought he had more time. Maybe this was the one. He ignored every warning, despite it having been twenty-six years. 

Foolish. A fool in Love is what Arche is. He defies Gods for you every day, and yet you can't even stay alive for him. 

It's the day of his 33rd birthday. He doesn't think anything of it. Nothings wrong, you're smiling and happy. Thats all he cares about. 

Then the fires start, he tries to get you out, go somewhere else. By the time the bomb drops, he realizes he's messed up once more. 

You're dying. In his arms once more. Arche curses every God he can think of, sobbing into your chest as your burned fingers glide through his hair. 

“'m sorry, 'm sorry- It's all my fault. I should've realized.” Arche sobs into your chest, the soft smile he so desperately wishes wasn't on your dying face directed at him. 

He feels the flames burn his human vessel as he protects your body with his own, and he screams from the pain. 

You're tears are like acid against his skin, he loves seeing you smile. But not like this. Then you mutter something against his skin that makes him freeze. 

“Do...Do you think we're together in every life, my moth?” The words are quiet, barely a whisper amongst the flames. And he can't help but nod. 

You ask this every time you die. Every time he can't help but remember every death before this. And think of every one after it, too.

“Of course we are, firefly. Till Death do us part like she always shall, and we find each other in the next life. I'll always be drawn to your light, like a moth to a flame.” Arche can feel you smile against his skin, as the flames finally take both of your lives. 

When he comes to, arms unwrapped around the Universe, he makes a promise. 

“I'll find a life we both shall live peacefully, Firefly. No matter what it takes. No matter who's blood I shall spill.” Arche promises, floating away to the next Universe as another death is stored in his memory. 

—

“And that's the story of Arche and his Firefly.”  The historian, named after the “story”of Arche finishes, smiling while holding his lovers hand at the children surrounding the two. 

One of them raised their hand, and he nods as a response. “Are you named after the story, Mr. Arche?” The child asks with wonder in their eyes. 

Arche chuckles, nodding along. “I am. Me and my very own Firefly will always be together. No matter what the Gods have to say, or Universe.” Arche brings a finger to their lip, winking at the child. 

The children laugh, and move on to the next exhibit. You raise a brow, glancing over at Arche. “Really? You shouldn't be saying that, what if someone finds out, my moth?” You cross your arms over your chest, smiling gently at the exhibit of your history together. 

“Firefly, they're children. I could show my true form and they'd think it was a Dream when they grow up.” Arche waves a hand in dismissal, smirking at you. You roll your eyes, and the two of you turn to your true forms as you leave. 

“Alright, ready for the next one, Firefly? Where should we go, hmm?” Arche pulls you into the painting, and you find yourselves in the galaxy. 

“Oh, I do love the one where you're the prince and I'm the jester, moth.” You smile, and he nods. 

Now that you're his, no world or realm, God or man can take the two of you apart. ♥︎

[esoteriamaya]

Vulnerability: Healing The Body One Day At A Time.

Sometimes I want to stay private. Other times I want to open up. Staying hidden had been a sanctuary at one point. Not sharing with the world my feelings and what damaged me. I got tired of feeling burdens in my body, so at the moment where can I start?

In this present moment, I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm tired. I'm depressed. I'm anxious. I'm worried. I'm exhausted. I'm hopeless. It seems the descriptions of lower feelings doesn't end. I've tried ignoring these feelings, replacing them with good thoughts. Trying to keep an optimistic smile, but that fake smile started to hurt.. And the mask began to wear off one day at a time.

It hurts to feel loneliness, but the truth is nothing can steal your joy but whatever dried up emotions are left infiltrating the mind with unwanted banter.

Its like... I can point out my flaws and my differences but I can't face the truth. I'm tired of truth. It's all I see everyday.

And what makes it funnier? I'm an oracle, and all I do is be 100% honest with people, but with me.... I lie so the triggers won't push too deep. I've ignored the villain that was imposter syndrome, and constantly took life too serious... Until life became a big circus show. And I'm the circus freak giving my performance.

Im annoyed, and constantly fighting tears. When I would cry and have those battles on the ground screaming 'I can't do it', it told me to get up and pick myself back up. You've grown up... you can't waddle your way out of this one.

I had no clue what I was doing, and before I still didn't, this new phase of adulthood I'm entering seems too much to handle but this where reality starts to hit. You're getting.., old. Older. More mature. Buying a house, getting a new car, even creating your own family. Life started to get a little practical... I thought I'd be a kid forever. But I was only talking about the imagination. Its fun being an adult, its so much freedom. It's just... I'm not built for whatever this reality is trying to show us, but I'm still trying. I'm still bringing forth change in my mindset, being more resilient. And allowing myself to be more than what my mind is constantly saying to me.

I've faced myself so much in 2023... Like.. the amount of times I had to look at myself in the mirror and could not escape. And sleeping with a mirror facing your bed don't make it no better, just makes you feel the emotions quicker (i got an interesting feeling when it comes to mirrors... portals man, portals).

I guess society has gotten its grip on the depressed gang, I've been working my way thru it. Theres absolutely no way in telling people that its easy to let go. Just something you learn to process on your journey. I'm learning both can be true at once. I'm learning to figure out what works, even if it takes a journey to reveal itself to me.

So how is this effecting my body... I get random body aches, I've had to make several hospital visits.. all of which there was no idea where the problem was truly stemming from. The doctor would prescribe me pills, they'd work for a while. Then later... the pain would come back again.

When our bodies are feeling pain especially in the organs, theres a spiritual connection that is making that happen. I use spiritual loosely here, what I mean is that our bodies can be carrying a lot of unwanted emotions. Be it rage, stress, depression, anything we don't want to feel but finds its way stuck in the body it'll start messing with your insides later on. When our spirits cannot rely the message, our bodies will for us.. for better or for worse.

I've found out I have health issues I didn't know existed.. I'm joking, well not really. I had no clue what galbladder disease was and def not anything with the gut. Even though I'd have random stomach aches here and there I never knew this would actually be an underlying problem. I didn't think I'd end up with a bunch of problems and it taking years to fix... Although I can be stubborn, I finally changed the way I ate.. it's been helping a bit.. I always did physical activity, but I noticed in my my present reality (3-6 months) its every other day out of the week. That's okay.

With accepting this truth I learned to be open to it because I started bawling.. I was losing weight like a mf and I had to drop all my clothes, still gotta do it now, or just get them tighten up. But its overwhelming.

I'm exhausted all of the time. My body is always on 'stop mode'. I can't work like the average woman because it gets me tired quicker. It kind of irks me because I want to do a little more but I just can't.

I feel as if I'm running out of time and I just don't know what to do. My subconscious is showing signs of paranoid thinking and I just can't see why I'm still running from my own reality.

its. just. too. much.

Im exhausted. And I've barely done anything.

I'm learning to feel my pain. Processing the very things that forced me into an uncomfortable matter.

It hurts to feel the feels of others dualities, but what do I do?

I gotta make amends with the shit I've dealt with, make use of them and take stride with whatever info comes up.

That's the secret. Pay attention to any fears, worries and anxious thoughts you could be picking up on because it's showing you a gate way to whats missing.

[oddvanilla]

kinda pray for monkeypox not becoming a big deal

like our world going NUTS we dont need it too THO very often i think about how everythinh that happens is part of future's history and it makes me kinda less paranoid because people been thorught worse and it wont be a big deal for anyone

ALSO GOT REALLY OFFENDED BY THE APPLICATION THAT CPVID MADE PEOPLE STRUGGLE WITH ASKING FOR KETCHUP for me it qasnt covid i swear i jusy became insane and now try to get more like a human

YESSS YOU GET ITTT!!! LIKE I JUST HOPE ITS NOT TRUE. THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION IS ALREADY FINDING CURES TO IT OR SOMETHING LIKE OMG PLS GO BACK TO FINDING A CURE FOR CANCER LIKE MONKEY POX WONT GET THAAAT BAD....right

(upcoming yap session put Ur seat belts on)

I often think about how back then it was way worse. Like ah yes, I'm a Victorian child born into a lower class family and I'm forced to labour all my life living in the streets of London or something. Of course, you don't have food or water or any source of hygiene to begin with. The worst part is..water quality was so bad back then that if you don't have drinking water; people just drink beer instead.

Imagine your 6 year old daughter working her life off mining in a cave with starvation since yesterday and you have to just give her MORE beer to fill her stomach 😭 like oh GOD that's miserable..

and after all that, im surprised the diseases we get now are more "dangerous" than back then. Mind you, people in the 1800s or 1700s had like NO technology to even think of finding a cure. Like damn you didn't even invent a microscope YET. <- I'll educate you a bit about history..the first microscope as a CONCEPT was made by a Dutch man named Zacharias Janssen all the way back in 1590!!! But the first MODERN microscope that we know nowadays with all the different lenses and even coloured was in 1774. That's like almost 2 centuries later...and incase you haven't focused in your 7th grade science class, the first atomic theory was in 1804. If you understand where I'm going with this, we humans are slow as HELLL.

I'm mentioning all of this saying dude...you're telling me people back then had some deadly diseases, couldn't cure it, DIED on streets, and didnt even GET quarantine.

LIKE NO OLIVIA YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE A WIFE IN THE 1800s. NOT ONLY WILL YOU GET YOUR RIGHTS TAKEN AWAY BUT YOURE ALSO GONNA GET BORN, MARRIED AT 7 YEARS OLD TO THE PRINCE OF FRANCE, GET A DEADLY VIRUS AND DIE BY 12. MUST BE SOO NICE TO BE A WIFE IN THE 1800s CAUSE YOURE BORN IN THE WRONG GENERATION...right?? ❤️

Talking about generation...which I bet everyone is sick of me talking about..but like dude would our generation survive if we just got a time machine to the 17th century. Although I dont believe in the evolution theory because we are NOT monkeys but I believe over time humans learn new skills, which changes their life styles therefore their bodies change too because every creature adapts. Cool!!

You ever see those articles about how nowadays we stay on our phone all day and that'll make our bodies lazy and not used to work blah blah blah,, at first I was gonna say if we go back to the time the Spanish flu for example started we would PROBABLY survive because we have better education, better immune systems due to actual healthcare and we could definitely survive with just common sense. Like wtf?? I'm NOT going to visit by rat filled basement bare foot..

HOWEVER compare the average human who sits on bed all day scrolling and laughing at a glowy rectangular shaped decide called a phone...we would not last a day without internet...at least I know I wouldn't 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

So like...think about it. Why is corona so dangerous?? It's only borderline to older diseases. Or maybe it's the other way around. Corona itself is DEADLY, but it's just the situation and life style we have today that makes me wonder why it's harmless. Like cough cough I got covid oh no!!! I can just stay in my home all day.. like you get what I mean?? I'm sure you would just get back to work if you were unfortunately lower class victorian child and had covid..and dying probably gives you more peace than working a lifetime for 10 cents..

So that's it!!! Silly lil rant about Victorian children, diseases, Humans Adapting, science and history, and of course generations. MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT!!!

[yanderelovlies]

Joseph laid his head on the cold porcelain of his toilet. His coughs got so bad that he was afraid to leave his toilet and spread the blood and petals. He wanted an end to this. He hates how he could die from this but doesn't know what to do. Medicine hasn't come far enough to get rid of the disease completely.

He groaned as he sat up again. He struggles to stand for a minute, but once he is up, he makes his way to his kitchen. He needs water badly. Just as he was about to open his cabinet, a knock on his door echoed through the apartment. Begrudgingly, he walked over to the door.

Opening the door, he was surprised to see distraught with a bunch of soups in your arms. You didn't bother to greet him as your hurriedly made your way to his kitchen.

"What...are you...doing?" It was hard to speak, and the sound of his voice proved that being rougher then before.

"Making you soup."

"....why?" He closed the door, making his way back to the kitchen.

You turned to him, giving a look as if he had grown a second hand. "You coughed up blood and petals in front of me and just hope I would forget?"

"Soup...isn't going...to fix it." He cleared his throat once again, opening his cabinet to dig out a cup again.

"Well, you won't tell me who, so I'll help take care of you." You set a pot on the stove, turning it on medium heat before looking for a can opener.

Joseph huffed, finally grabbing a cup. "I....don't need you....to take...care of me." He walked over to his sink, Turing it on and putting his cup under the running water, filling it.

"Too bad," you find one opening the can and dumping the soup in the pot before opening one.

"Just leave...." He drank his water before putting the cup down and trudging back to his bathroom.

"No."

This made Joseph stop as he turned to you. "y/n" he tried to make it seem like a warning, but it was hard to tell from how gone his voice was.

"I refuse to let you crumble and get worse in front of me. So I'll either help you confess or help you get better. Take your pick, cowboy." You threw in a second can of soup before grabbing a spoon to stir it with.

"I would......rather be....consumed....then do any of that...."

You looked up at him with shock and horror "why"

"None of your....buisness... just leave..."

"No! Why won't you do something?! Why are you letting yourself just die away?!" You slammed down the spoon, glaring as you tried to keep back the tears.

He swung around to face you. "Because I would rather die than lose you." His voice was cracked and gravely, but you could hear the feelings behind those words.

The two of you stared at each other, the air feeling heavy before you fully spoke. "You wouldn't lose me....I want to be by your side."

This time, Joseph glared at you. "Don't lie....to me... you just want me....to get better." Before you could respond, Joseph felt another cough coming and ran to his bathroom his coughs were loud and violent, Turing into gaging sounds.

You ran to the bathroom out of worry to see him on his knees hunched over flowers and blood coming out with each cough.

It took a few minutes, but finally, Joseph pulled away from the toilet. This time, Joseph, it was different. He wasn't coughing petals but whole flowers. However, before he could begin to think it was only worsening, he realized how easy it was to breathe again.

He looked over to you, who was sitting by his side rubbing his back, tears falling freely. It was true you liked him back. "Im....sorry I didn't belive you..."

You simply smiled at his as you continued to rub his back. You were truly too good for him.

[unfixablebabyyy]

pt 2 of the dennis You thing uh fair warning it's kinda all over the place but i had fun writing it (also gonna post it w the original but im a boomer and despite a decade on this site i still don't know how to work it properly lmao)

(nsfw, minors DNI)

There's something wrong with me. I haven't really been sleeping which is doing a number on the bags under my eyes. I keep getting these crazy headaches. I think I'm breaking out- I caught a blemish in the mirror last night and I'm certain it's gotten worse. Unfortunately, it's all your fault. The last woman I slept with was in and out of my mind faster than I was in and out of her, but you are driving me absolutely insane. Mac has started to notice, which is goddamn annoying. He keeps looking at me like I have some kind of disease, asking me stupid questions, constantly hovering. Maybe it's because I stopped eating. Or maybe it's because I stopped taking my meds. Either way, he knows something is up, but he can't find out, and neither can Charlie, and absolutely not Frank. You're too sweet to keep a secret from Dee and, no offense, but quite frankly, I don't think you could- you're not a very good liar. And if Dee knows we slept together, what if she told you about all the weird and horrible things I've done? She's been oddly quiet about the whole thing. I can't even think about it without feeling nauseous. What if she told you about the system? Or the binders? Or the tapes? Or all that stuff hidden in the side panel in the trunk of my car? I'm not stupid, I know that stuff is more than off-putting- it's incriminating. I need to calm down. I really need a Valium but I forgot to get my prescription filled- my mind has been occupied by one thing: you.

It's been about a week since we had sex. I made you dinner, and I did my homework- I knew exactly what to say, exactly when to laugh, exactly how and where to touch you. I like the music you listen to and the movies you watch, or at least that's what I made you think when I had it all queued up, with notes on your favorite parts. We're compatible, see? I drank too much, which was stupid of me, but you didn't seem to mind. It all happened so fast and intense and I was in control right up until I wasn't. As I watch the tape for the 500th time I swear I can pinpoint the exact moment you slipped into my brain and made a permanent home there. That night I did the unthinkable and actually allowed you to stay over and when I woke up the next morning with you lying beside me I was shocked to realize that I actually hated the thought of you leaving. And when you did finally leave, I felt so empty it made me sick.

Usually, once I've been with someone intimately, my desire for them fizzles into boredom within a few hours or so, but I feel like I want you more now than I ever did before. I need to feel your hands on my body, your breath against my neck, your lips on mine. I need to taste you again. I want to own you, put you on a leash or handcuff you to my bed and leave you there so that I know you're all mine.

I need to shower. I need to eat something. I need my meds. My hands are starting to tremor and when I stand up my head rushes and I almost blackout. Is this what it feels like? I'd almost forgotten. I need to focus. The last time I felt even remotely this way for someone, it ended in alimony and a murder accusation. I pick up my phone from my bedside table. 5:17 PM.

"Hey. Stop by the bar if you're out tonight, drinks are on me." Send. I groan. Get it together. I should really go and open the bar. Can't forget to stop by the pharmacy.

It takes me two hours to get ready because I can't decide what to wear or which cologne you might like more. The uncertainty is making me so anxious I forget to grab something to eat on the way out.

"Dennis! Can I come with you?"

I think Mac is yelling at me as I bound down the stairs, but I don't really care- I can't handle him right now. Outside the sun is getting low, painting the sidewalk with shadows. When I get to my car and slide into the driver's seat, I immediately feel a little better. The warmth of the day coupled with the smell of the interior lull the chaos into a low buzz. I inhale through my nose and close my eyes. Relax. I turn on the Range and the radio comes to life. I cringe, resist the urge to cover my ears with my hands as the chorus of "Hungry Like the Wolf" blasts at full volume. I snatch the dial and turn it down. Any other time I would've loved a little Duran Duran, but right now, it's jarring and abrasive. I pull out a Jimmy Buffet CD and stick it into the slot. As I back out of a parallel park, I begin to sing along, "I spent four lonely days in a brown LA haze, and I just want you back by my side." That's right, focus. Pharmacy. Bar. Pharmacy. Bar. Pharmacy. Bar.

I almost blow up at the pharmacist over the fact that it takes twice as long to get my prescription, except that she looks at me like she knows me, and not in a good way. She's tall, with dark hair and chocolate eyes, and I have to admit she does look a little familiar, but she's not you, so it doesn't matter. When she hands me my prescription and I still don't recognize her, she seems irritated.

Back in the Range, I pop open the cap and dump the pills in my hand. I pick out one and swallow it dry. The rest of the medication go back into the bottle, with the cap twisted tight, and I'm off to the bar, 20mph over the speed limit. When I finally turn onto Paddy's block, I clock Dee's car across the street from the entrance. I should have never given her that damn key. But then again, I've been so distracted lately, maybe I left it unlocked. Thank god the Valium is starting to kick in, otherwise I would be boiling over right now. Lucky her, I guess. I still slam the door when I get out, but before I enter the building, I roll the tension out of my shoulders and take a deep breath.

Inside, Dee is sitting at the bar, facing the door, with a heavy pour of wine in her hand and a smug grin plastered on her sharp face. Our entire lives, she's never bested me in anything other than being born 3 minutes before me, so her confidence right now is unnerving.

"Oh come on, really? Have you just been sitting here alone all day getting drunk?" a successful attempt at knocking her down a peg. Whatever you've told her (or she's told you) has inflated her ego dangerously.

"What?! Fuck you, I'm not drunk, I'm trapping you," she snaps back.

"Trapping me?" I can't help but laugh. It's so easy to get under her skin. I step behind the bar and take a clean glass to the tap, pouring myself a beer, preparing myself for what's to come.

"What do you want with my friend you little freak?" she blurts out, as clumsy with her words as she is with her lanky body.

"You have friends?" the drugs are doing their job. I feel like I'm beginning to even out, gain some control.

Dee, on the other hand, is seeing red, "You know who I'm talking about, don't play stupid with me. You couldn't just bang her and be done?" So then she knows I invited you.

"Honestly, Dee, I don't know who you're talking about," I take a sip of my beer and lean on the bar.

"Oh yeah? Then why don't I just text her and tell her not to come to Paddy's tonight?" Bitch. She smiles when she sees the mask come off and I glare at her.

"Whatever," my jaw clenches a little, but I try to maintain my posture.

"So? What are you planning?" she asks, and I roll my eyes.

"You always assume the worst," to be fair, she's also seen the worst.

"Yeah, because you haven't fucked the same girl twice since high school," that's probably true, "So what is it? You trying to prove some point to Mac? Did you and Frank make some gross bet about 'who could fuck Dee's friend first'? I mean what are you up to?" she squints at me, trying desperately to see inside my brain. I just shrug.

"Nothing," she should know I'm telling the truth- it's incredibly difficult to lie to your twin. But apparently I absorbed most of her brain in the womb.

"Dennis."

"Deandra," I mock, my patience wearing thin. Before she can open her big mouth, I say, "It's just drinks, ok? I had fun last time and I figured we could all hang out. That's all."

The longer the silence lingers, the more she begins to believe me until her eyes go wide, and she gasps, "Oh my God!" Suddenly, the door crashes open and in walk Frank, Mac, and Charlie. My stomach drops. I shoot her a pleading look, but she's ecstatic.

"Don't fuck this up for me," I whisper through clenched teeth, but it's too late. Dee turns to the gang.

"Dennis has a crush!" she shouts. The guys go silent. Mac's face twists as he cocks his head to the side.

"On a girl?" Frank doesn't look convinced.

"No he doesn't," Mac says incredulously. Good boy.

"Yeah, come on, Dee, what are you saying?" Charlie laughs.

"Shut up, Dee. If Dennis had a crush I would know about it, right Dennis?" Mac flashes his puppy eyes at me.

"Yeah, for sure," I reply, and Mac gives Dee an 'I told you so' look. The wind is absolutely sucked out of her sails.

"No, no, guys, do you remember my friend from the other day?" she desperately tries to hold their attention, but they've already stopped caring. We exchange glances, but that's the last of it.

"Dennis, pour me a glass of that slippery drink," Frank says as he climbs onto a barstool. My nerves are too fried for this shit.

"How am I supposed to know what that is?"

Frank waves his hand, "I don't know, Charlie always makes it for me."

"Oh good, I'm sure it's not something poison, then."

"No, no, Dennis, see, the Borax gives it this really nice sweet metallic taste-" Charlie begins to explain, but I raise my hand to cut him off.

"You know what, Charlie? I'm going to stop you right there because Borax is the stuff we use to clean the bar towels." I turn back to Frank, "I'm not making that- you're getting a beer."

"Oh, me too, please, Dennis!" Mac chimes in as he squeezes past Dee to sit on the stool beside her, nearly knocking her off her seat.

A few hours and a couple of drinks later, the door to Paddy's opens and in you walk with a burst of cool night air. There's the clatter of pool balls as Mac stands from his shot and I smile at you from the table, leaning on my pool stick, the medication and the alcohol bringing me right back down to where I need to be.

"Hey! Look who it is!" Charlie, who is drunk enough to be slurring his words, waves you over. "Wanna see something crazy I found in the alley today?" Before he can show you whatever it is, Dee pulls you aside and shoves some strong cocktail she made into your hand. I need to intercept.

"You want another drink?" I ask Mac to cover myself. I want to sprint over to you but I need to have self control.

"Nah," thankfully, he's busy lining up and practicing his next shot. As I make my way over I can feel my heart beating against my rib cage like a trapped moth.

"Hey," I hug you, kissing you on the cheek as I lean in. You're so warm and your hair smells like shampoo.

"Hi," your face feels hot against my cheek and when I pull away I can see that it's starting to turn pink. Dee looks like she's about to throw up.

"You wanna play?" I ask, motioning to the pool stick in my right hand, "Mac and I just finished a game."

"Yeah, sure," you look so cute and you don't even have to try- though it's obvious you have. It's reassuring. You want to impress me which means Dee couldn't have told you much.

"I'll be right over, I was just gonna grab another beer," I point to the abomination Dee gave you, "You want something else?"

You blush and look over your shoulder to make sure Dee isn't paying attention before leaning in, "A beer would be great," you whisper. God, you're so sweet, so careful about my sister's feelings. I nod and give you a little wink and when you brush past me to join Mac at the pool table I'm hit with a wave of your perfume and it's just as intoxicating as the first time.

"What did you tell her?" my face is inches from her ear, causing Dee to jump and drop her phone onto the bar.

She rolls her eyes and huffs, "Nothing, weirdo. Your stupid little secret is safe with me... for now."

Great. She wants to keep me nervous, like she's got me wrapped around her finger, but she never will. That information is all I need from her. I grab the beers and head back to the pool table, ignoring her glare. There you're bent over the felt, taking notes from Mac who thinks he's giving you good advice.

"Now when you go to hit the ball, if you put your hips into it, it's like an extra boost of power," he's saying as I step up behind you.

"I don't think that's right, Mac," you reply.

"Well then how do you do it?" he challenges. I cant stop staring at your ass.

You line up your shot and strike the cue ball. It hits a stripe that ricochets off the side of the table before missing the pocket by a fraction of an inch. "Fuck," you mutter.

"See? You needed that extra push!" Mac thrusts his hips as he tries to prove his point.

"Mac, you look and sound ridiculous," I finally weigh in, setting our beers on a nearby table. "Here," I prop my stick up against the table and pick up the cue ball, placing it in its original position. "Try again," I say, and you obey. You bend back over the table and aim your stick at a different stripe ball. Such a good girl. My fingers slowly press into your hips, tilting them forward as the heel of my hand presses gently into the small of your back. I nudge your feet apart so that you're standing square. I have to step back or you'll feel how hard I'm getting. You take another shot, and the stripe falls into the pocket with a satisfying crack.

"Whatever," Mac stomps over to the bar, leaving the two of us to start our game.

I give an approving nod that I know goes straight to your panties, "That was pretty good." You lean back against the table and cross your arms over your chest, which squishes your breasts together, and you wore something low cut like a little slut. I want to take you out back and pick up where we left off, "Why don't we make this a little more interesting?" You raise an eyebrow, "How about loser goes home with the winner?"

"Hm," you match my grin, your eyes dancing, "Fine. Deal." And I'm back on. You want me, and any doubt or fear I'd held onto despite the Valium and the alcohol vanishes instantly. I begin to gather the balls for the break.

"Just out of curiosity, what do you think my chances are here?"

Without looking up, I chuckle and reply, "Slim to none." I then lift up the rack and gesture, "After you."

Ten minutes later, you lose. Of course.

"Good game," I round the table to lean next to you. You're so close I can feel the heat of your body against me and if it weren't for my friends and the accusations this afternoon, I'd kiss you. "So, did you wanna leave now, or...?" You laugh.

"I thought you were buying drinks tonight?" you challenge. It's only 10:00- the night is still young and you want a hunt. I'm more than happy to give it to you.

"Fine," the words leave my mouth faster than I can catch them, "I suppose if you're willing to release your inhibitions, I'm not going to argue." That was a bizarre thing to say. I'm still off my game, unable to reel it in because every time I look at you I think about the way you made me feel that night. To my surprise, you just giggle.

"If you slip me something, I'll pretend I didn't see," you shouldn't joke about that- I just might.

"Hey you guys wanna do some shots?" Frank shouts across the bar.

"Looks like you're up, bartender," you bat your eyelashes at me before walking over to the bar to join the rest of the gang, hips swaying, making my mouth water.

As the evening wears on, one by one they drop like flies. Charlie is the first to go- passed out in the men's restroom, an open can of paint at his side. Next is Frank, of course, sprawled over Charlie's lap and snoring like a chainsaw. Dee and Mac last until around 2AM, but after Dee throws up into the ice machine, it takes every ounce of composer for me not to lose my mind on her. You might find that unattractive. Instead I suggest she goes home, heavily implying that it's not a suggestion at all. Mac is the last to go, but he doesn't leave without asking if I need help closing about a million times and throwing you an odd look. When the door shuts and the two of us are finally alone, you lean over the bar, and I can feel your eyes on me as I wipe down the counter with an old bar towel.

"So, Dee seems to think there's an expiration date on our... whatever you wanna call this." That dumb bitch. I bet she told you all about my penchant for fleeting affairs. I bet she told you I'm a womanizer or a misogynist or just a fucking asshole. I bet she told you you were too good for me, and maybe she's right, but fuck her.

"Dee doesn't think- if she did that would imply that she has a brain," that was too mean. I can tell because you don't respond right away and I'm afraid that maybe you think I'm annoyed at you and not my idiot sister.

"If there is, that's fine," you continue carefully, "I would just like to be in the know."

"My sister believes I'm incapable of having any kind of genuine feelings toward someone I'm sleeping with," I have a feeling you'd appreciate honesty over any lie I could conjure up, even if it's a good one. You're clever. Sometimes I feel like you can see right through me and it scares the shit out of me.

You pause. "Is she right?"

"No," I've never been so sincere with a woman and it's making my palms sweat. You hold back a grin and I feel exposed, my stomach clenches, and I have to take the wheel or I'm going to start getting all nervous. I bite down on the inside of my cheek. "Alright," I pick up my jacket from behind the bar and pull my keys out of the pocket, "You wanna get out of here?"

"Absolutely."

You wait on the sidewalk as I turn off the 'Open' sign and lock the doors. Tossing the jacket into the back seat of my Range Rover, I round to your side and open the passenger door for you. As you step up to slide into the car, you lean up and kiss my cheek and I feel my entire body go numb.

"What a gentleman," you grin and bite your lip and I want to spank you but I don't because you just called me a gentleman.

We share a cigarette on the way to the apartment despite my rule against it in the car- I can't help myself, I need to taste your mouth. You tell me all about the week you had and I react as if I don't know- as if I haven't been following you around this entire time. As I slowly pull up to the building, I look up at my window where I catch a glimpse of Mac as he flips on the kitchen light and walks past. Shit. As I park the car, I figure the best I can do is bring you upstairs and hope Mac sees it as an easy fallback- if I could get Dee's friend once, might as well get her again while she's around, right? That cover story would have to do.

You follow me into the building and up the stairs, pausing at the door as I sort through the keys. Just as I touch the key to the lock, the door jerks open.

"Oh thank God- I heard you coming down the hallway- hey can you help me-" Mac is breathless as he speaks, but when his eyes fall on you he abruptly stops. "Uh, hey." He smiles at you to mask his confusion.

"Long time, no see," you joke and he lets out a short laugh before glancing at me. I glare back at him, challenging him to choose his words carefully.

"Yeah... So what are you guys up to tonight?" Wrong. I clench my jaw. What do you think?

"We were just going to go watch a movie," I squint at Mac, hoping he'll get the hint to shut up and go away.

"Oh, cool, well... have fun," Mac looks for approval, but I deny him the satisfaction, brushing past him and pulling you along until we're both in my bedroom behind a locked door. The reality of having you alone in here is indescribable. It's all nerves and appetite in the dim blue light. It all feels so good in the dark.

I'm willing to behave, but as I move towards the television, your body collides into mine, your lips on my neck, teeth grazing my skin. I already like this game more than any other we've played.

"Are you gonna fuck me tonight, daddy?" your voice in my ear sends chills down my arms. Your generation is so needy, and I knew you were dangerous when you let me come close to choking you in the alley that night, but I've been looking through your laptop when you leave it at home, your phone when you were sleeping the night I claimed you. I've seen your search history, the things you watch at 3AM when you're lonely in bed and undoubtedly thinking of me. You're depraved.

"Oh yeah, kitten," my fingers weave through the hair at the base of your skull. I tug hard and you gasp, chin tilted upward, throat exposed. You shiver when I run my tongue from your collarbone to the curve of your jaw. I nip your earlobe before pushing you away roughly.

You stumble back and bite your lip, waiting for a command. It's been two weeks since we met, and one intimate encounter and you're already so eager to obey. God, you're perfect. "Take your clothes off," our eyes are locked, and I don't let you look away. It's almost sacrilegious that you're still fully clothed- here in my room, you belong naked. Always. You pull your shirt over your head and reach behind for your bra. "No," my voice stops you on a dime, "Slower," I demand as I step back and sit down on the edge of my bed.

From here, I watch the way your breath hitches when the cups of your bra brush your nipples as it slides down your arms and falls to the floor, the way you rub your thighs together before pushing your jeans to your ankles, the way you look at me- standing there, in just your underwear, exposed- like a fawn in the soft glow of the city night that filters through the window.

"Come here," you look like you want to jump into my lap, but you're being so disciplined with me. And why wouldn't you be? I'm your elder, I command respect, and it's my job to teach you manners. You slowly walk over and straddle my hips before planting yourself on my thighs, your hands pressed against my chest.

I wonder if you can feel my entire body buzzing beneath you. You've been waiting for this, too. I can tell. You're absolutely ravenous with it. Usually I would find this kind of behavior to be slightly endearing if not pathetic, but I want you so bad it's only driving me further down the rabbit hole. You're allowing me to control you and it's like it's the only thing I've ever truly wanted. I wonder how far you'll let me go. Not tonight. I want you to trust me- I /need/ you to trust me. So for now I'll play nice. If you want daddy to fuck you, then I will. I'll make you think I love you, princess.

I slip a hand between us and press my index and middle finger to your clothed cunt. It's already soaked through the fabric. I watch your pupils blow out as I push your panties aside and touch you, dipping both fingers into your soft, wet folds and sliding them up to meet your clit. You let out a soft mewl and I have to remind myself to breathe. Usually it's all about me, and why wouldn't it be? I'm the man after all. But I need you to know how good I can make you feel so that it hurts even more when I teach you what pain really is. I'm going to make you cum over and over again in every way I can possibly think of, and then, I'm going to deprive you. I can't wait to watch the light slip out of your eyes when you realize the fun is over, that you're mine, that your only purpose is to please me.

I can't help myself- without warning, I plunge my fingers into your tight little hole. You rise, yelp, jerk away at the sudden intrusion, but I'm much stronger than you, and an arm around your waist holds you in place.

"Shh," I swirl my fingers inside of you and you cringe, but this time, you stay seated like a good girl. You like it when I hurt you. I reward you with patience- pumping my fingers in and out of you slowly, gently spreading them as I go, stretching you out. You moan and slump into me, your face to my neck, planting lazy kisses as I work on your pussy. I feel like I'm going to black out. My clothes are suffocating. When I pull my hand away from your heat, you whine. I wrap both arms around you and flip you onto your back so that I'm on top of you, my knees between your legs, arms on either side of your rib cage. I sit up for a moment to remove my shirt, unbuckle my pants. You bite your lip and I reach down and run my thumb along your jaw. You lean in to my touch and when I get to your chin I gently pull your bottom lip from between your teeth. And then the pad of my thumb is pressing down on your tongue.

"You look so pretty," and you do- looking up at me through your eyelashes, sucking on my thumb, body nearly naked beneath me. Nearly. I pull my hand away from your face and nudge your hips. You lift them and I slide your panties down enough for you to relax back into the mattress. As I begin to work the thin fabric down your legs, something comes over me, and I back down off the bed and kneel on the floor. You sit up, watching me, eyes going wide when I grab your ankles and tug you closer. I haven't done this in a really long time. A really long time. I'm not nervous, but my heart is racing.

I pull you a little closer, and this time I'm more gentle. You inhale sharply when I drape your knees over my shoulders and the flutter of my breath hits your glistening cunt. When I look up at you, your eyes lock with mine, and I take the opportunity to slowly lower my head between your thighs. I watch your face as I press the flat of my tongue against your hole and drag it up. You taste so good, better than I'd imagined. Your fingers curl into my hair, and the dull burn in my scalp feels so good, I pull away a little just to feel your grip tighten as you whine and tug me back into you.

I hear you breathe my name as I relearn how to do this. I had been certain there wasn't a thing about sex that you could teach me, yet here we are. And I want to make you feel good. I want to be the best you've ever had. I need to be. So I take it slow, I pay attention to the way your body moves, the sounds you make, the pace of your breath, the rate of your pulse against my mouth.

I pull away for a moment for air, turn my face into your inner thigh and close my teeth around your soft flesh and you gasp and pull my hair so hard my head feels like it's on fire, so instead of letting go, I leave a dark purple hickey in the center of the indentation my teeth made on your skin. You moan and it rattles through me and I'm back to devouring you. I add a finger, then two, then three, and the sounds you're making are absolutely obscene and I think I'm getting you closer.

You squeeze down on my fingers and I swear to god I feel it on my dick. I groan into you and the vibration makes you flutter around me again and I touch myself with my free hand. I might actually cum from this. Your legs start to shake on my shoulders, and I focus on doing everything right as you whimper and moan and white knuckle my sheets.

"Dennis," your voice breaks through our syncopated panting and makes my dick twitch in my hand and if my eyes were open you would see them roll to the back of my head. The pressure is building- I feel your thighs tense against my ears, and I'm beginning to lose my pace on myself- it all feels so overwhelmingly good. I open my eyes to see your chest rising and falling quickly. Like a trapped rabbit. My teeth graze against your flesh and I nip at you lightly, shove my tongue inside of you, replace it with my fingers once again as I suck and bite at your clit. You let out one loud scream before remembering where you are, and sob as you teeter on the edge of climax.

"Daddy, c-can I-" you clench your jaw and knit your brow and it's so cute that you can't even use your words, and it's so cute that you call me daddy, and I'm about to cum, too, so all I can say is:

"Yeah, princess," and you're cumming around my fingers, against my open mouth as I spill out over the carpet and think vaguely about the stain. I thought you tasted good before, but now, I'm ravenous, and I love the way you tremble as I refuse to let up.

A few seconds later, you're cumming again, and if it wasn't for the alcohol and my medication, I would be ready for round two. Instead, I clean you up with my tongue and you scratch my head in sweet little circles as you come down. When your fingers find the space behind my ears my whole body tingles and it's like you've hit some sort of off switch. You giggle when I moan and close my eyes and rest my head against your thigh.

"I always catch you doing this," you take my earlobe between your thumb and forefinger and rub it a little, "What's up with that?" I hum at the familiar feeling coming from unfamiliar hands.

"I've been doing it since I was little," I mumble as you continue to make my brain short circuit, "I do it when I'm nervous," I'm not sure why I told you that part.

"You were doing it at the bar tonight," you comment, and despite the pleasure, my body tenses a little, "Do I make you nervous?"

When I open my eyes and look up at you, you're looking right through me, into my soul. I can't lie.

"Yes," and it makes me crazy. You smile.

"Good. That must mean you really like me."

I roll my eyes and sneak a quick nip to the inside of your thigh where my cheek was resting. You yelp and sit up to smack at me but I'm faster and I'm on top of you, pinning you by the wrists as you laugh. I hate how vulnerable you make me, all twisted up and trapped inside, and I feel like I need to contain you, but my hands on your wrists and my weight on top of you isn't enough. You have invaded every part of me, and it's too much.

"Well?" I can hear the smile in your voice even though my face is buried in your neck.

"Yeah, yeah," I feel like I'm in high school. You're younger than me and here I am blushing into the crook of your shoulder.

"Cool," your fingers slip through the hair at the base of my skull, "I like you, too." And even though I know that, the wave of relief that rolls over me makes me physically relax.

"Then you're staying," it's something between a question and a statement because the adrenaline is still making my head fuzzy. With my ear against your chest I can hear the methodical beat of your heart behind your sternum. I can't remember a time I was this intimate with someone. I want to get up, wash my face, grab you some of my clothes to wear, but my skin feels stuck to yours and your fingers in my hair is turning me off again. The air conditioner hums to life in my window and I feel the goosebumps pick up on your arms, your legs, the cool breeze ghosting over the thin sheen of sweat on your body. I sigh as I pick myself up off of you. I walk over to my dresser and tug open the top drawer, pulling out one of my Penn sweatshirts and toss it to you.

You bring the ball of fabric to your face, close your eyes and inhale. "You know this is mine, now," you say as you pull it over your head and hug yourself. I wish you weren't joking- I would love to see you in my sweatshirt every day for the rest of your life. I hope you wear it home tomorrow. I hope you don't go home at all. Next I throw you a pair of my boxers and when you stand and shimmy them up your legs, they hang so loosely off of your hips that I can almost see the v of your pelvis before you smooth the sweatshirt back down.

You hop back onto the bed and burrow under the covers, and I go to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. By the time I get back, you're sound asleep, your head on my pillow, filling my bed with the smell of your shampoo and body wash and lotion and perfume and you. I'm careful not to disturb you as I make my way into bed, as if you might leave if you wake up. When I wrap my arms around you and pull you into me, you murmur in your sleep and relax into my chest. I probably won't get much rest tonight, so I just enjoy the feeling of your warmth against me and the sound of your breathing as I think of how I'm going to explain this to my friends.

[greatunironic]

Hi! So, maybe someone already asked you about this, im not sure, but I was reading The most remarkable thing once again, and it got me thinking, having in mind too your latest series Eating in the underworld, and I guess The other hand knocking too, in a way, but, like, you write a lot about grief, and loss. Or, like, it seems like is a common theme on your writting, and makes me wonder, is it a conscious decision? Why do you choose to write about that? it's just because as a writer, you like to explore the entire spectrum of human emotions, or there are more personal reasons? No need to answer that if it's too personal! Im just curious, thats all

It's kind of a risky emotion to write about, if you think about it, because anyone would usually associate it with pure, unfiltered angst, but somehow you manage to write about grief and make it feel healing, if that makes any sense? and it's so easy to relate to it, like Steve missing Hopp even before he's gone on Remarkable, or the way Steve's absence changes Robin and Dustin on Underworld, and the loss of innocence and missed chances on The other hand. It's like, you write about life, real life, but you never make it feel hopeless, or too much. it's just, i dont know. As I said, it's healing, in a way Anyway! It's perfectly okay if you dont want to answer this on public, i was just curious. In any case, I will see you on the comment section of your next fic! take care of yourself!

apologies for this getting lost in the inbox shuffle, but here's a (hopefully semi-coherent) answer for you!! (gonna put it under a cut tho because we might get a touch heavy)

part of it is because i do find it interesting, and the whole of human experience interesting; and grief is something that's there but never quite talked about, you know? we kind of sweep it and death under the rug even though it's something that we are all going to have to face at some point, in some way.

and i've talked before about how i have a lot of experience with cancer in my life (specifically with my partner and parents as survivors, with other family members lost to the disease), and i think a lot of my writing circling back to grief is because of that — especially my partner's, because i was relatively young for my mother's cancer + my father's was quite early and very contained, but my partner's second cancer i sat with them as they were diagnosed and attended chemo and had to sort of wrap my mind around this being a part of our lives going forward.

so writing about grief kind of became something i wanted to explore because it was this weird part of my life.

however more specifically to the story of "remarkable" — about six months before i started writing it, i unexpectedly lost my cat, who i'd raised from a baby, who predated my relationship with my partner, who kept me sane during grad school, who traveled across america with me twice — who was, for better or worse, in my heart, my son and the great love of my life. he was orange, and he was an asshole, and he was perfect, and he was eleven, and i had to make the decision to end his suffering when he experienced a massive stroke that left him almost entirely paralyzed.

i could barely write, after it happened. couldn't do a lot of things, actually. but writing "remarkable" was coming out of that fog, and finding joy again, if that makes sense. it was a way for me to tell myself that i was going to be okay, when i was ready, and that i would be okay in the future too. it wouldn't be great and it wouldn't be perfect, and i would never be the same person i was before, but i could be okay again.

(and i am! i still cry sometimes when i think about him but we're also starting to visit shelters and talk about adopting so!!)

[st7arlight]

actually im going to post this here because i feel like you guys would love this: an analysis of Jane Prentiss and The Crawling Rot from the perspective of a queer person with OCD and frankly too much trauma lmao

CW/TW for jane prentiss, misogyny, sex culture, addiction, and talk of abusive relationships of all flavors

My latest post is a little bit of a commentary on the tie of eroticism with the body in its barest form and the societal stigma of body hair on the female form. something about the supposed revulsion of body hair on a "woman", when Jane Prentiss is far beyond the point of a woman here. When she died and became the Hive she obviously wouldn't have been at the absolute physical peak of eroticism- she was struggling with delusions and compulsions and the siren song of The Crawling Rot. I also find that the bare legs (eroticism) paired with hairy underarms gives a unique view on the objectification of AFAB people in society. Jane Prentiss is a woman but she is also the thousands of wasp maggots living in the husk that is her body. being the epitome of eroticism with her form and legs and dress but showing decay/waste/disease/offness in her flesh is very true to her purpose. I was also deliberate in having the maggots and holes so small on her body. She is supposed to look not only fairly normal, but attractive from a first glance. It is only when you look closer that you realize that something is horribly wrong. I had intended to give her skin more discoloration but given the time period I had planned this to be (sometime around the events of Timothy Hodge's statement, MAG 6) I think the illusion of clear skin from a distance works very well.

In terms of the greater symbolism of The Crawling Rot (and the source of most of the content warnings):

its important to me how essential the idea of eroticism is to Jane's manifestation of the Corruption- the corruption is gross icky buggy things but its also sexual abuse, power imbalances, toxic relationships, cults. it's the nausea you feel when you learn that someone has exploited you for something you never wanted to give, it's the fear of your consent being undermined. its the confliction of loving someone and knowing they are corrupting you but still not wanting to lose the wholeness you feel with them. It's a friend who convinces you to steal or drink or smoke or fuck then some then all or worse with them because it will make you feel better, more whole, more connected, but all it does is make you want to crawl out of your skin then burn your own corpse. this here is actually where i feel the corruption and the spiral & web tie together fairly well- all of them can feel like alternative perspectives on the same event, just focusing on different fears and traumas that could stem from it

[beliscary]

@necromycologist #👀 prev im begging you to elaborate on your vision for them

oh my god. im so sorry. I have can't shut up disease. so many series spoilers here we go

for context, these were my tags on user cemeterything 's post featuring this gem:

#nick & sam mutually in the trilogy postcanon I made up in my head #shut up you're not transmuting into a sword and/or stone and I'm not becoming primordial destructive light let's think this through #very much IF I CAN'T NEITHER CAN YOU

ok I gotta bring up Nehima

The ancient Clayr made sure that the sword Nehima and the Dark Mirror found their way to Lirael. Lirael in turn will find Sameth, who passes the bells and the Book on to her. Eventually, she passes the panpipes and then Nehima on to him so that he can forge what they will need to defeat Orannis. This sword bears the inscription: 'Remember the Wallmakers. Remember me.'

Now, here's this passage from the very beginning of Abhorsen, which has been the rock in the shoe of my brain since I read it:

"He was a Wallmaker as well as a royal prince, but what did that mean? The Wallmakers had disappeared millennia ago, putting themselves into the creation of the Wall and the great Charter Stones—quite literally, as far as Sam knew. For a moment he wondered if that would be his destiny too. Would he have to make something that would end his life? At least as a living, breathing man? For the Wallmakers weren't exactly dead, Sam thought, remembering the great Charter Stones and the Wall. They were more transformed, or transfigured, not that he fancied that either. In any case he was far more likely to simply get killed..."

Nehima made something that ended her life, at least as a living, breathing woman. 🤷‍♀️

With Sam's canonical fear of capital D 'Death' Still Very Much Existing, I feel like the best course re: future character development would have been to dig into the tension between immortality as a construct/weapon vs. accepting death and deciding to be fully human. Is that very narrow eternal life as a part of the Wall, or a weapon to be wielded, or a Charter Stone… tempting? terrifying? Does he feel becoming some kind of weapon or tool is inevitable? Has he ever wondered what the inscription on whatever remains of him should be? Has he written it somewhere and burned it like all those letters to his parents he was too afraid to send?

Time and again in the books, Sam thinks to himself how glad he is that he's not the Abhorsen and how happy he is to be able to make things, to be Of Use to the Abhorsen/the Kingdom. He feels awful about what he considers his moments of cowardice and his abandonment of his responsibilities. I think he's in the perfect pressure cooker to be an enormous idiot about what duty calls him to do, while also struggling internally with his own fears. 'I can make this ultimate sacrifice... and also not die.... am I being a coward.... no one has to know.... is this a fate worse than death?... maybe I deserve that. maybe what I deserve has nothing to do with it, and this is simply what I must do, just as the Abhorsens must walk in Death...'

I think Nick needs to kick him in the shins about it (ughgbhfhfhh there's that part in one of the later letters Nick writes in the books that's like 'come here and tell me I'm being a stupid asshole so I stop being a stupid asshole'... fave. this vibe, both ways.) Sam never got to see Nick possessed by Orannis so I feel like Nick should get to deal with Sam, sometimes unsettling conduit for The Charter's intent. ('I Didn't Get Possessed In His Place And Temporarily Die For This!')

and Nick!!! arghhh WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE THE SURVIVING VESSEL OF ORANNIS?! his skeptic's worldview is shattered! he's traumatized! he's IRRADIATED! he has sooo much to feel guilty about and thinks he has to make up for, especially with regards to what he thinks he owes the Kingdom and the survivors of Forwin Mill.... but his very existence disrupts the Charter. Not too long ago, he was walking talking anathema to life itself. also he has these weird temptations to shuck off his mortal body and become a being of pure Free Magic??? Is it worse that he's still alive, because he's so dangerous? He came back from Death, why him when so many others died? Shouldn't he have just taken what was left of the hemispheres' powers to the grave with him? I'm sure he gets in his head about 'I need to do something with this life I got to return to because otherwise...'

obligation v. guilt v. desire. basically so much trauma and also Need To Make It Right. Sam would kick him in the shins about it except then he'd have to recognize the self in the other and 😬 he's probably still emotionally recovering from Nick saying those exact words to him and coughing his dying blood on his face. I digress

I think too that even though nick's irradiated and the Charter goes all wonky around him, the fact that the baptism took and the mark stays Means Something, and I choose to believe that in this strange way Nick is the new walking talking Destroyer, and that remnant of the Destroyer which exists as Nick wants to be a part of the Charter this time around, and with Sam having so many of the bloodlines it's just.... the most bizarre mutual understanding of what being alive means, as kids who used to vault desks at boarding school and also as... living manifestations of the cycle of creation and destruction. and they both have to constantly grab each other by the scruff of the neck to remind each other they're allowed to live too, not just throw themselves "into the making" like the Bright Shiners

(at my Most Bittersweet I think about how maybe it's Sam who passes away first, and until the very moment he goes, Nick can't quite believe he actually decided to die a man and not forge himself into some other thing. they had of course talked about it before but there was always a part of Nick that wondered...

and when he does cross into the River, Nick is the one to perform the final rites and burn his body so it can't be used because oh boy he Gets It)

[plantfeline]

tag game :-)

hiiiiiii thanks @fall-dog for tagging me i am putting this on my second blog bc of ship stuff hehe

three ships: wolfstar obvi.... they are my guys and they are in. situations. funnily enough i only got into them in 2019 despite being a hp guy since i was like 8 years old. but they make me. insane. also fleur/tonks because gay and also something about them both having unique relationships with their physical bodies and objectification bc metamorphagus and veela stuff. very interesting me thinks. also ron/harry bc they are both my baby boys. i currently cant think about any ships that arent hp bc brain machine broke

first ship: probaby edward/bella or rory/amy... i got into fandom and ships and such when i was like 12 and i had never really payed that much attention to relationships in things before that so i cant think of anything i 'shipped' from before then i would just watch/read a media and then go ok :) and become obsessed with a one guy from it

last song: thats the story of my life by the velvet underground... i was listening to my soft and calm times playlist while winding down for bed last night which that is on

last movie: 'cargo' from 2017, its an australian post apocalypse movie about a dad that gets infected with the apocolypse disease and then has to find someone in the australian bush/outback to look after his baby daughter before he loses control to the disease. i really liked it and one of its main themes is colonialism and indigenous people surviving which was really interesting to see explored in the post apocolypse context. the main guy is played by martin freeman which is yuck bc i hate him but the movie was good enough to make up for that

currently reading: nothing :( i have a pretty big tbr pile and im a super fast reader usually but ive had too much on to just sit down and read, bc i prefer to read something all in one sitting.

currently watching: due to my 'have to watch it all in one go' gene i am not currently watching anything but last night i started and finished 'fearless' with helen mccroy, wich i really enjoyed bc the whole plot had lots of twists and turns and was quite gripping and the ending had a good pay off

currently consuming: nothing right now but ive got a half empty packet of twisties on my bedside table that im eyeing off....

currently craving: mmmm clove cigs..... i love them and they are so yummy but also way more expensive and also somehow worse for you than normal cigs... :'-(

no pressure tagging :) @katebush-gf @steelycunt @meanbryn

[tvmblrsillyman]

Hello . I hope you doing well . Im Ahmed Alhabil . With my Parents , wife and my 2 kids living in Ga*za . I have make this go fund me link to fund my family to evacuate from Ga*za to the safe place .

Can you please help as much as you can . Press all buttons on my wall ,

And donate any amount to safe life ..

I will appreciate your help❤️

you can creat video to help us ❤️.

I beg you to visit my page, view it, and donate via the link in the bio💔

🍉Dont forget 100$ USA=1100kron Norwegian 🍉

Sorry for the late response. I will reblog your post now and queue it later in the morning and afternoon to make up for lost time. I will share your post here along with your campaign link too. I am sorry that I cannot donate right now. But I will do what I can to share, along with offering my artist skills for donations from others directly to you.

I'm also sorry to hear what happened to your children. Hearing about immune deficiency is quite worrying from what I understand about the disease, and even worse within a war zone.

Everyone else, please consider checking out their campaign, and donate if you're able to. I'll even open this offer art if you want something out of this. If you can't, then at least reblog his post.

Ahmed's campaign is vetted by several people, so please do not hesitate.

[mbabol]

HOWWOW KNIGHT 3?

ok. ao. ive unlocked most of the map now. and i think im getting into endgame territory. based on the storyline and the op items im getting now.

uh. so i killed that first dreamer. so im just going to stick to the path and keep killing dreamers even though its making me really sad :( i just got to the top of watchers spire and. this one rlly hurt. at least spiders were scary. watchers is in the top of my fav city and theres a little telescope where u can see where she looked thru. and then you see her lying peacefully on the bed which is what freaked me out last time too. and to make matters worse they stuck one of the little scared guys up there to make you really feel like a monster bc its a reminder that some of them dont even want to fight you why are you fighting them? i think i was always destined to be the villain of this story

AND ON THAT NOTE. CONFIRMATION ON ALL THE LITTLE HINTS ABT HOW YOURE NOT EXACTLY THE GOOD GUY HERE. OR AT LEAST YOURE CAUSING A LOT OF PAIN IN THE MEANTIME. UH. DREAM NAIL. SO I GOT A CHARM THAT CHARGES DREAM NAIL FASTER. im like huh. what the hell is that for. all the things i use the dreamnail on are stationary? but im like oh of course! i need it to charge faster if i can use it on normal mobs. so i excitedly equip the charm to go see what cool tech this dream nail does on mobs.

the tech is psychological horror. i can now read everyones thoughts. hooray. so far ive had two results for mobs: 1) horrible pain 2) horrified confusion and immobility. cause. turns out. the coreopsis point. was actually. going to get answered. theyre. the orange eyes and aggressiveness is partially Planned. theyre all asleep. the sleep wasnt just the dreamers. its all the citizens of hollownest. to contain the infection they wove some sort of spell that put all infected in a pseudo slumber that repels anyone from trying to come in. theyre unwitting defenders of outsiders who may venture too deep and unknowingly spread the disease. either intentionally or by accident, theyre the perfect defense. agonized and aggressive because of it they lash out to anyone and keep curious wanderers away.

this was at least part of the sacrifice. i havent dream nailed everyone yet but i know thwts part of it. my next step is to dream nail the unnerving beast in the dusty underground area. the area with the pale king. who is the pale king? i donated at least. there were inscriptions that described a sacrifice. what sacrifice? there were corpses everywhere of bugs wearing robes id never seen before. what did they do? who is the white knight corpse that i cant stir with the dream nail? whats behind the door? they were instrumental to containing the plague. what did they do?

ALSO I BEGAN TO SUSPECT THE ORANGE DUST WASNT JUST INFECTION RUNNING WILD BC THE FIGHT I GOT STUCK ON IN THE SPIRE WAS SUSPICIOUS. THE ROLLY DEFENDERS? THEY WERE BEING SPECIFICALLY REANIMATED BY THE CLOUD OF ORANGE DUST ABOVE TO DEFEND THE DREAMER. THAT WAS SUSPICIOUS. THEY WERE BEING CONTROLLED, POSSESSED. THATS NOT JUST ILLNESS. THATS CONSCIOUSNESS AT PLAY

im feeling so guilty discovering the dream nail :((( even the littlest mobs have thoughts like "hungry....scared.....dark safe..." AND IT MAKES ME SAAAAAAAAD IM SORRYYYYYYY

ALL THE GHOSTIES WHO TRIED TO TELL ME FIGHTING AND GLORY ISNT WORTH IT WERE RIGHTTTTT

oh yeah i unlocked the spirit tomb or whatever a while ago. dope. theres just a bunch of random characters who tell u cool stuff abt themselves and someeeeee world building. dope

im also so op its so funny how i can still die. ive had to upgrade nail twice and i have a zillion masks. im also on the hunt to collect all the charms. i believe. i can do it

UH ALSO WHAT ARE THE SEALS FOR...? am i just supposed to sell these?? i thought i could use them for something eventually

er also idk where im supposed to get the skill i need to get into fog cavern. is it in the sewers ? i cant find it

UGH DREAM NAILING EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE SO SAD. RHE LITTLE MOSS GUYS IN GREENPATH WERE FUCKING DEFENDING THE PATH OF UNN. IM LOSING IT. IM THE BAD GUY

OH MY GOD ALSO I ACCIDENTALLY KILLED TWO GHOSTIES I THOUGHT I COHLD TALK TO THEM MORE WITH DREAM NAIL BUT THEY JUST TURNED INTO FUCKING ESSENCE???????

I FELT SOOOO BAAAAAAD I WANTED TO QUIT THE GAMEEEEE MY LITTLE GRAVEYARD BUDDY IM SO SORRY I DIDNT KNOW

ive unlocked some crazy zones also. why the hell was there a zone where i came from beginning of the game. howling wilds was it? howling cliffs? whatever. hey also im suspicious of all the unmapped areas that are high up. am i gonna get a skill to fucking fly straight up. why is the entirety of above dirttown unmapped. whats going on up there.

also i know theres something thats gonna explain what shades are but i wont lie thats not even on my radar rn im not gonna be able to guess it on my own theyre keeping it pretty well under wraps. i know im strange and i know im not the only one. the dreamers that first time kept talking abt how i "returned" and what i "wanted". so. yeah.

also my shade soul is literally an entry in the beastiary. so.

I FORGOR I UNLOCKED NEW MOVES. I NEVER REMEMBER TO USE THEM

i have fucking spin attack. i havent tried it once

uh also i made it to the roof of the world...? there was a pale ore there. snagged rhat

ive got some predictions abt whats gonna happen next. not wven predictions just potential guesses. 1) theres branching endings and im on badroute bc i killed dreamers OH YEAH WHY DID I SUCK THEM UP TOO? EW? WHY DID I EAT THEM. this is a sad ending ill just be sad and rhen immediately boot up for the good ending 2) im not yet on bad ending its not Great that i killed dreamers but it was all a fakeout to say sike ! u needed to break the stasis rhe kingdom was in bc this wasnt a sustainable solution. so the real decision comes later <- WISHFUL THINKING 3) this is the bad ending but also is there gonna be a twist where ghost and the soul are at odds ? no way right. thats too easy. maybe it is tho. hwy am i still gonna try to recapture the infection in myself that sucks 4) who the hell is the final boss. like i know ill fight the vessel but am i gonna have to fight my soul? the king? rhe queen? like what is up with that.

the random tidbits im learning abt npcs with dreamnail are ruining me. did u know map lady used to be a nail warrior like me. i do now. whimper. and shop fly has three kids. whimper

[liyuee-qixing]

Dottore with a very sick s/o

Maybe a vent post...???😭😭😭

Im finally being productive again wow, still can't keep my promise on how often I would update though

Cw, disease of course.

Genres:Angst to comfort???

Dottore is my fav character to write dhsgeusgajahsj

Il Dottore

He's a doctor. He know what tod o in these situations where your body temperature just drop and you become pale, honestly,if You're any other person he couldn't careless if he find the cure or not,but if he can't find the cure for your disease and it'll end up fatal, He'll curse himself. He'll blame himself for everything,he make sure you're on good health every single day.

he has a room in his headquarters that is made for you only since he never really back to home and it's really worry him. It's a simple room with bed,thick blanket,box of medicine and lot decorations you like. Despite being a crazy man scientist,that one room he dedicate to you look Like a sweet nursery room

When it's not so cold outside,he like to give his jacket to you and take you to a scroll around the zapolyrn place garden,picking up flowers,picnic date,after all,being stuck in one room for long period of time is boring everyone need something fun to do.

He tried to cover the dark fatui side and the dark part of his experiment too,he worries that if you saw it,your condition will just be getting worse and he'll be the cause of it. He worry that someday you will drift away,and that all is because of his careless attitude.

His love language is act of service, he'll do anything for you, he'll cook you the softest pancake he learned himself,he prepared a warm bath and shower you,he try his best to make a cure to end all of your struggles in this cruel world.

"good morning Love"your tired eyes met with Dottore's,The man you loved the most. What you didn't expect was for you both to be on his mansion,you Don't remember anything about walking here.

"good morning too,love. Since when did we get here?" You cooed sweetly,your body however feel so sore. It's felt like you're going to faint.

"you were half asleep when we're on our Way,tell me how do you felt"he answer, placing his hand on your forehead, checking any symptoms of fever,you gave him a sweet smile at first but then it turned to frown when the feeling of soreness and blur start to hover your mind

"I feel.. I feel. Like I want to pass out,my body is sore"you answer bitterly,now he's worried. He then start to notice visible sweats on the side of your forehead. You were clearly exhausted.

"would you like to sit in front of the fireplace?"he hand you his hand, leading you to Infront of the fireplace,step by step on the stairs you both made it,placing you down on the silk couch covering you with thick blanket and your favorite plushie.

On the table, served his signature breakfast,a pancake he learned by himself and a mug of hot chocolate along with your medicine. He spoon you slowly and slowly. Waiting for your next condition report.

"Dottore. Do you think I'll be fine?"a word that truly shocken him,why would you ask such a question? Do your condition get so bad these day? How are he not aware of this? What could be the issues and cause?

"you'll be fine,here with me"he whispered as he placed kiss to your forehead. His words were so affirmating and calming but deep down he feel lot different than just 'youll be fine'

He can't lose you,not when someone actually care about him,not when his cold heart has been melted by you. And also not when you're the only person he can reach to when he struggles,what are him without you?

[m-jelly]

may i ask for a oneshot idea?, im a fan of angst but i dont mind if u end it with a happy ending,

Its a hanahaki disease thing of Levi and reader<3.

So reader has hanahaki and is planning to get the surgery after finding out they have hanahaki a couple weeks back, they have no hope for themselves and believe Levi could never harbour any type of romantic feelings for them especially. hanji and erwin have been doing their best to try stop them and get Levi to confess(currently isnt working).

Reader ends up getting the surgery and looses romantic feelings for levi (which they think is for the best.) Levi, ends up getting hanahaki because his feelings cant be returned and confesses to reader.

I cant think of anything but u can take yhe wheel from there.

Take ur time m-jelly! we love ur works and remember to take some times for urself too!!.

@lolimveryhungryrn This one is for you as well. You and Anon asked for the same thing hehe. Also, my lovelies, it will be a happy ending. I always do happy endings because I like to spread positivity <3 real life has too much tragedy.

Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病 (Japanese); 하나하키병 (Korean); 花吐病 (Chinese)) is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear.

Just in time.

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Genre and tags: alternative AU, modern AU?, romance, falling in and out of love then in, happy ending, you end up together, I like happy endings okay? (fight me)

Concept: you get the Hanahaki disease due to your love for Levi, but he won't admit he loves you. Your illness gets so bad that you have a choice, to die or get it removed. You got to the hospital and get it removed, but while you're there Levi thinks he's killed you by not loving you. Levi confesses to his friends he's always loved you but is scared to admit it. Levi arrives at the hospital to find you're alive, you just had the surgery to make you better. Levi soon develops Hanahaki but hides it. Levi notices you getting sick again, the confronts you to find your Hanahaki was so bad that they didn't remove it all. Both of you confess your love, making the illness disappear.

You coughed and gasped for air as you felt your ability to breathe slowly disappearing. You kept coughing and saw how concerned your friends looked. You moved your hand from your mouth to reveal flower petals.

Erwin sighed. "It's getting worse."

You smiled sadly. "They said I have a few days at most."

Hange rubbed your back. "I don't want you to die."

You sighed. "Well, he doesn't love me. A man like that could never love something like me. He deserves better." You coughed up a load of petals and shook at the pain. "I can't...I..."

Hange caught you when you passed out. "We need to get her to the hospital."

Erwin stood up and pulled his phone out. "You get her there and I'll talk to Levi." He left you to Hange and left the room as he called Levi. "Levi? We need to talk."

Levi sighed. "Tch, what?

He said your name. "How do you feel about her?

"Why are we talking about this again?"

Erwin wanted to rip his hair out. "I know you love her! I know it! Just tell her."

Levi let out a long sigh. "I'm no good for her, okay? I'll make her life misery. She deserves someone better."

"You not telling her you love her is killing her!"

Levi felt the guilt seep in. "What do you mean?"

Erwin ruffled his hair. "You wanna know why me and Hange have been pushing you to confess? It's because she had the Hanahaki disease. Her love is for you. She's just collapsed and I don't know if she's going to make it."

Levi whispered your name. "Where is she?"

"Local hospital. Hange has taken her."

"I'm an hour away. I'll get there and confess."

Erwin smiled and sighed. "Finally."

Levi drove his car and weaved around traffic. His foot tapped on the floor when he got stuck in traffic. He gritted his teeth and wanted to so badly get to you. He finally reached the hospital a lot later than when he said. He ran in and saw Hange in tears.

Levi slowed by her. "No, no she's not..."

Hange looked up at him. "They had no choice. She was going to die."

Levi's eyes widened. "She had the surgery?"

Hange nodded. "It wasn't her choice. They had to."

"So, she doesn't love me anymore?"

Hange got up. "You know the rules. Once it's taken out, it's gone."

He gulped hard. "She could still love me, right?"

She shook her head. "Doubtful."

Levi sighed, then went into your room. He sat and watched you for a while as you slept. He winced a little at the pain in his chest but forgot about it when you woke up. "Hey."

You sat up and hummed. "What happened? I feel like a truck has hit me."

"You had surgery."

You placed your hand on your chest and welled up a little. "Oh."

He gulped hard. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault."

You shrugged and gripped your bedsheets. "It can't be helped." You frowned a little. "I don't like this feeling."

"What feeling?"

You welled up and saw your tears drop on the bed. "This emptiness. It's so cold." You put your head in your hands and started crying.

Levi reached over and rubbed your back. "I'm so sorry." Levi stayed with you and chatted with you until you were better and he had to leave. "I'll come back tomorrow. I'll be here every day."

You smiled. "Thank you."

Levi left the room, then coughed a little. He frowned as he looked at his hand to see a petal. He crushed it in his hand and felt he deserved it, that him getting the illness made sense because he had hurt you so badly. Levi's illness got worse and worse the more he visited you. He knew he was going to die and he was okay with it. Levi didn't want the surgery.

He joined you in your hospital room and waited for the doctors to leave. He sat down and got you a drink. "What's going on?"

You groaned. "It's nothing."

"Talk to me."

You sighed, then coughed and covered your mouth. You pulled your hand away to show him petals. "It came back." You welled up. "They missed some. They said mine was so bad that they missed some. My lungs were just fully consumed and part of his spread to my heart. They can't remove the part around my heart." You sniffed. "They said having the surgery again was an option, but I'd have to keep having it every couple of months."

Levi coughed, then sighed. "You don't need the surgery."

You looked over and saw the petals. "You got it too, huh?"

Levi gulped hard. "Mines because of you."

Your eyes widened in shock. "You...you..."

He smiled at you and nodded. "I'm in love with you. I've always been in love with you, but I was so terrified to love you because I don't think I'm good enough for you."

You welled up. "I love you, Levi. I've always loved you. I thought you didn't."

He sat on your bed, then cupped your face. "You're the love of my life." He kissed you and hummed in happiness. "No more running and hiding from my feelings. I want you brat. I want us."

You giggled and sniffed back tears, then you hugged him tightly. "Yes. I'm yours."

[izayanna]

Flowers are indeed beautiful when painted with blood

---------------------------------------

Warnings ; angst?? Mentions of blood,sickness,hanahaki disease, not proofread

Characters : Childe x gn! Reader, Keqing (lol)

A/n : Hi! Its my first time making a fic of my favorite character, and i dont know why but I have this urge to create a fic because Im shy in making requests to my favorite authors!! Also pls ignore the mistakes, this is my first time writing so hoping its good? Also i dont know what title should i put so uhhh hehe

-------------------------------------------------------

"This is ridiculous"

you said as you stare in the mirror. Tears staining your face, blood and petals all over the bathroom.

"Why is this happening to me"

You grip on your chest tighter as the pain started to grow even worse

"How can I be so dumb"

You knew you were suffering from hanahaki disease. You thought it was just a myth or a foe, but really, you didn't expect yourself to suffer from such a disease. You tried to hold back your tears as the pain keeps on growing

Is this my fault?

Is this what I get in return?

You sat on the bathroom floor and breathed slowly

Is this finally it?

As you closed your eyes you suddenly remember him, your bestfriend, your comrade, your loved one

Ajax...

Ajax, Tartaglia, Childe or whatever you may call him is your bestfriend. He was the first friend you made when you first moved into Liyue. You were minding your own business as you were walking in the streets, walking around exploring the city When suddenly a ginger-haired man bumped into you

"Oh sorry! Didn't see you there"

You were about to say something but as you looked up, He flashed a kind, genuine smile. A smile that you never knew would leave a mark in your head. He let out his hand to help you stand up and you both exchange names

You were indeed starstruck at the ginger-haired, goofy looking man, Eyes that reminded you of the deep ocean blue You were snapped back to reality when he waved a hand infront of you

"Hello? Is there something wrong?"

"N-nothing, I was just thinking about.."

You looked around and saw a restaurant, you invited him to eat lunch with you and he gladly accepted your invitation.

That's where the both of you started to get closer, to everyday hang-outs and nightwalks. To barging into one's house in the middle of the night for some reason, Bringing you to Snezhnaya to meet his family as to where as Teucer took an interest to you and calls you Big Sis. Everything was okay, everything was fine

Until she came...

As you and Ajax were walking by the beach, talking about each other's day, enjoying each other's company

"Hey (name),What do you think of (someone's name)?"

You stopped at your tracks with eyes widened but you turned to face him and gave him a smile

"Well she's alright I guess?"

"She's strong" you're not

"Really pretty" you're not

"And brave" you're not

Childe smiled "really?" And you nodded "Well, I've been thinking of asking her out" And there it was, your heart shattered into pieces and on the verge of crying. But you forced yourself to give Childe a smile "Really? Do you think she would go out with a flirt like you?" You playfully teased him and both of you laughed

As days passed by, Childe spent less time with you and more with her. He would sometimes come to you for advices and help in order to capture her heart and you stupidly helped him

But I was here first you're not strong

I spent more time with you you're not worth it

I was there when you needed help he doesnt care

And here you are now, in the bathroom coughing up petals and blood. Payed no attention as to what is happening outside. You can't even breathe nor talk or walk properly without shaking

You're weak that's why he doesnt want you

You started crying and laughing because you were dumb enough to fall someone who wont even love you back

Childe was aware as to why he hasn't seen you in days. He even asked the fatui or anyone around if they have seen you but all he got was nothing. The girl did confess to him but shockingly, he rejected her (childe playboy/j) because of the feeling of you not around did hurt him

Was he, inlove with you? He thought

"Big Brother! Is Big Sis okay? I miss her so much and I really want to play with her again" Teucer tugged at Childe's coat as to which Childe bent down at his level "Just hold on Teucer okay? Big Brother is going to find Big Sis for you" Childe stood up and told Lumine to assist Teucer for a while

He did go to your house but he was told that you weren't there, So where were you?

You stared at the ceiling with tired and puffy eyes, you can't handle it anymore. "(Name)? Are you done yet? I'm starting to worry here" you heard a knock on the door and slowly you stood up and reached for the door. "Yeah, all good here Keqing" Keqing was your bestfriend, she was the one who told you to move in Liyue because she missed you, and you did too

"My gosh, (Name) you're bleeding!" She said as she quickly wrapped your arm around her and checked the bathroom "what on earth happened here? Wait...don't tell me" She quickly assisted you to the bed and knelt infront of you "(Name), you're suffering from hanahanaki...why didn't you tell me?" She started to tear up but you gave her a smile

"Don't worry Keqing, everything's going to be alright"

"NO! YOU HAVE TO BE CURED ASAP!! (Name) please..."

You looked at her carefully as she held your hands crying.

"But if I get cured, then doesn't that mean I'll never get to feel love again?" And forget about him

"You'll die if you won't get cured"

You started to cough again but this time, even worse. Keqing started to panic and called for help, Your breathing started to become slower as you passed out

I don't know what love is

Its been a year since Childe had last seen you, the thought of you who suddenly went missing won't get off of his mind

Where are you? Why are you still missing? Did I do something wrong?

As he was walking with clouded thoughts, you passed by him laughing along with some person. He quickly turned around and eyes widened, He was out of control when he suddenly grabbed your hand

"(Name)?"

You turned to see a tall ginger - haired man as he was grabbing your wrist

"E-excuse me, have we met before...?"

He was shocked at your response, He thought you were joking as he continued to ask you questions

"I'm sorry but I don't remember being with you...if you could excuse me, I still have some other matters to attend to"

You freed yourself from his grip and walked back to your friend, apologizing for the wait

He was confused, no, he was angry? Sad? Dissapointed? Because how could you forget about him? How could you just disappear on him and suddenly appear without saying anything Why did you forget about him? How could you be so selfish

You were still confused as to why that man had stopped you, but who knows because all you remembered was suffering from something and woke up as if it was just a dream

But that man did felt familiar to you, you did feel something...but what was it? Because you don't remember this feeling at all

[dreamrecorder]

Ok so- idk if you’ve seen demon slayer;; but there’s this episode (it was during the spider fambam arc) aNywaYs- so like. Rui yeets ties* (i guess-) Nezuko like. Up in the air. With his weird spider thread jazz— and like. It’s sHarP weird spider thread jazz— so she’s like. Yknow. Being sliced and diced with string— but it kindaaa reminds me of like. Xiao. And his like.... weird... sad.... uh. Karma. Thing. Like y’know where he’s like hanging from his arms- red stuff. Yeah. So like. Now for the actual request

Xiao’s s/o (female if you don’t mind;;) gets kidnapped by like— the fatui or smth. And they tie her up like Nezuko :D to be like “lol haha Xiao be all like-” and she’s just. Like. Dying. Slowly. Dripping b l o o d and yknow. All the tea. And Xiao comes to rescue her— and he’s like 0-0 “wait...” and he realizes that’s like- exactly what happens to him- and so. He beats the fatui’s butts saves his s/o, anddddd she like.

Idk. This is where I need your angst expertise ❤️ like- she could d i e. In his arms. And poor Xiao would be so scarred omg poor thing- BUT THE ANGST- but at the same time;;;; the f l u f f of him being able to save her just in time and she was like fighting for him the whole time or whatever and ended up needing him to save her anyways- and then Xiao feeding her almond tofu until she gets better ❤️❤️❤️

IM SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG- im probably going crazy from lack of sleep from reading fics for too long sndndnsnsj

But if you do this,,, BLESS YOUR SOUL I HOPE TO EITHER BALL MY EYES OUT OR SQUEAL FROM THE WHOLESOMENESS-

Anyways.... thank you! Have a stellar day~ ✨❤️

The heart yearns and the wind heard

lmao this ask is so adorable i hope you’d enjoy this ksks

anyway, full Angst train up ahead but there are moments of Fluff too. There are mentions of blood and violence if those are not your thing- dont worry guys, this goes with a happy ending cos you and Xiao deserve one~ on a final note- non canon compliant and suuuuuuper long- like- legit this is very long

The Yaksha sighs.

He’s here again. His mind and heart has returned his being into this crimson world his demons have created within him.

He feels it. He feels the corruption binding him tighter again for every death he brings by his tainted hands.

He looks at his bindings. And ever so slowly, the red and black coiling around his person will eventually reach his heart.

One day, he thinks, all this crimson and black in this world will swallow him whole and he will see the light no more.

Xiao sighs again.

This is his karmic debt.

~

The moment you stepped foot within Wangshu Inn, you knew he was in his prison again. After giving a quick greeting to the inn keeper, you hastily went to Xiao’s room. The closer you got, the heavier the atmosphere became.

You reached his door and knocked softly. As expected, no reply as he continues to struggle to take back his control over himself. Without hesitation, you stepped in. To anyone else, they would have instantly met his spear at their throats, but with you, this doesn’t happen. Instead, you see him crouched on the wooden floor with a hand on his chest. His knuckles were white and his breathing was ragged. His amber eyes- lost. Observing his form, yes… his moments of corruption are becoming progressively worse.

With swift steps of familiarity to this routine, you went to him and grasped his shoulders.

“Xiao, it’s me…” You whispered with clarity. And oh- how your voice brought a wave of comfort to his soul.

“N-name…” His voice cracked, but him calling to you is always a good sign.

You gave him a small smile and proceeded to grasp his hands together with yours. After which, you then leaned your forehead to his to chant your prayers. As your prayers progressed, slowly but surely, the corruption begins to fade along with the black mist that covered him. However, you took note how this ritual took longer than the last.

Once everything is done, Xiao just slumped onto your shoulders, still breathing deeply. “How are you feeling?” It was a useless question you asked every time this happens, but you always, always, have to make sure.

Usually, he would mutter a small ‘fine,’ but now- words seemed to have left his mind and all he could muster was an almost-unnoticeable shrug.

Truth be told- his response disheartened you, but you did not show it. Instead, you opted to simply encase him in your arms and caress his hair. After all, these are just one of the few, rare moments Xiao would leave himself into your care. Xiao is aware, himself, that his state has been becoming worse and worse. And you both know, that a day would come when he would just attack anyone- friend or foe- without a trace of hesitation. So, just this time- he speaks his feelings.

“Name?”

You answered immediately with a questioning hum.

“What would you do… when I finally lose control over myself?”

It was very subtle, but he felt how your hand stopped caressing his hair for a second, then proceeded to the previous task at hand again. In all honestly, you can never find yourself having an answer to that question. “And why would I ever let that happen to you?” You questioned back, fully aware that you were dodging his question.

Silence surrounded the two of you, unsure on what to do with the sudden heavier atmosphere.

Not wanting to face the cruelty of the world yet, Xiao simply buried himself on the crook of your neck even more. And despite the ghostly sensation of his lips on your skin, you could feel him mouth the words ‘I love you.’

“As long as I’m here,” you whispered, “nothing can hurt you.” And that was the most beautiful lie that the Yaksha has heard, but he was willing to believe all the same.

~

When word about Fatui diplomats starting a bank reached you, there was a nagging feeling in your head that trouble would bring itself present anytime soon. It was like an itch that wouldn’t get away. And the only way to have that itch gone is to scratch it.

“You are absolutely a fool.” Xiao stated darkly with crossed arms, for once disagreeing with the plans of his master.

“We can never know what their intentions are unless we let them start their bank, no?” Zhongli said as he gazed at the marsh spread beneath him.

The Yaksha only scoffed but said no more.

Building up your courage, you deemed it was your turn to voice out your thoughts, “Um… Rex Lapis, I see your point, but wouldn’t it be best to resolve the problem before it persists into something larger? We all know- All of Teyvat knows, that the Fatui are not to be trusted.”

Your archon offered you a kind smile, “I understand your worries, Name. However, as of the moment, they have not presented themselves as such. If they truly are our enemies, then it would be beneficial for us to know their intentions.”

You frowned deeply at his statement. Seeing you do so, somehow, your archon immediately identified your main concern.

“Is this about the Tianquan assigning you to be her representative for the Fatui?”

The moment those words left his mouth, a growl tore from Xiao’s throat, but he held his tongue.

“Did Ganyu tell you?”

The Archon nodded and you sighed.

“I volunteered, actually.”

And at that point, Xiao vanished into thin hair, but you could still his sense his presence around.

“May I know why?” Zhongli questioned gently.

For a moment, you struggled for words. You didn’t know how to describe this ‘itch’ to him. “At first, it was supposed to be Ganyu, since in the Tianquan’s eyes- Ganyu is an adeptus and she does not know that I am, too. Perhaps she didn’t want to put me in harm’s way, a ‘visionless human’ at the side of a harbinger. After some convincing to Ningguang for my volunteering, I spoke to Ganyu next.

“The adepti are divine beings that walk here in Liyue. I had this feeling that putting a divine next to a power-hungry harbinger would become an issue. I told Ganyu that, since I looked ‘harmless’ and ‘ordinary,’ the harbinger’s interest about the divine would never surface.”

A stretch of silence wrapped around them as Zhongli pondered over your words. “Perhaps, are you also planning to dig out the truth of their arrival?”

You nodded, “I knew you would allow them to stay, so I just took it upon myself to unfurl their secrets.”

“Hmmm… I grant you permission on doing this. However, should trouble arise, do not hesitate to tell us.”

~

The glare pointed at you was strong. Even without him saying a single word, you could hear his phantom voice in your head speak with such coldness, What are you thinking?

You simply gave him a reassuring smile, “I’ll be fine, Xiao. I may be a human in mortal eyes, but please do remember that I am also an adeptus, no matter how weak I am.”

Xiao releases a huff, but still sits by your side at the floor of the balcony, letting the moon kiss his skin. “You’re not weak.” He mumbled as he snaked his hand to yours.

To him, you will never be weak. In fact, you were the strongest being he has ever laid his eyes on. Not physically, no. It was you mental and emotional fortitude. Back during the Archon War, he always admired how you kept your head held up high no matter the suffering you have experienced. No matter how much death surrounded you, you still fought. And that strength made you a survivor. During the war, you never failed to help the wounded. Even when someone dies under your care, you held strong for the departed and for those who are left behind. You were a pillar of hope.

He brings your hand to his lips and kisses every knuckle “… Just be careful. If ever you are in trouble do not-“

“Hesitate to call your name.” You finished, beaming at his words.

~

As someone who used to be a healer and a doctor, you were quite familiar with several mild skin diseases that mortals can suffer from.

If there is an itch, you do not scratch it- for you will only aggravate the area even more.

Now that you’re working alongside the Fatui as the Tianquan’s representative, the itch you kept feeling was only irritated more. Especially whenever you spoke with the Harbinger who goes by the name Childe. And since your work requires you to cooperate with him, you also don’t miss the chance to discover what he hides, should the opportunity presents itself.

Childe… his azure eyes certainly have their… charm to those unaware. However, you knew better. You know he’s capable of drowning you just by his eyes. While he may be a cheerful man, his eyes lack the lustre of joy. The eyes are the windows of the soul, yes? If so, all you see is an unending ocean that you do not want to swim in. The surface may be calm, but the deep is relentless. However, duty bound you are- deep within the ocean, you shall find the secrets the Fatui hides.

Again, another scratch to the itch, but it only irritates you more.

~ 

The news of Rex Lapis’s death became the catalyst of you confronting the Harbinger. From Yujeng Terrace all the way to Northland Bank, you ran (with Ningguang’s permission of course). Before you can even open the door to his office, something caught your eye.

It’s faint, but you’re an adeptus. You sensed elemental traces, just smack bang at the middle of the door. You carefully scrutinized the tracings, and fortunately you knew Snezhnayan script. And what you read only made your heart sink.

It’s ready.

With the adeptal arts, you managed to uncover the origins of these elemental tracings.

Scratch.

Without hesitation, you followed these tracings until it led you into some ruins.

Scratch.

Following the tracings further, you find yourself in a dimly lit room. Wary, you summoned your weapon imbued with your element.

Scratch.

Searching the room, you came across several antique boxes. You opened them.

Scratch.

What you saw were familiar. Too familiar. Dimming the room more with your element, you find more Sigils of Permission hanging on the walls and on the ceilings. The energy within them were faint, but with enough numbers, it’s enough to kill a-

“Well, well well, I thought you’d be there mourning for your Archon. But here you are, snooping around someone else’s research material.”

The sound of his voice made you sharply turn your head to him, your stance now more offensive. “What are you planning?” You bit coldly.

The Harbinger hummed a small tune, “Nothing much… But! If you’re really curious, I guess I could tell you.” He hummed some more but you knew he’s not finished. Once he finished his tune, he grinned to you menacingly and the depths in his eyes became even deeper and darker, “After all, I won’t let you leave this place with you knowing my secret~”

~

There was this one time, Xiao struggled against himself so much, he scratched himself red so that he could anchor himself back to the real world. You remembered how much you cried as he slept in your arms. You never wanted to see him do that again. Seeing him hurt himself also hurt you, too. It was like a stab in the heart, then a twist, and twist some more. A slap in the reality that you might lose him one day.

As he slept, you solemnly observed the wounds he sustained himself to. They were angry red, just like blood.

Now, you, yourself scratched that itch in your head too much into a wound for blood to seep through. You scratched too much and now you have to bleed from it.

~

You were slipping in and out of consciousness. Sleep was tempting you more and more but you know you have to wake up. You were aware that this is going on for days.

Everything hurts. You remembered how his blades, imbued with the Sigils, weakened you thoroughly. Every slash he brought to your body just drained the energy away from you. But still you had to do something.

He wanted an adeptus- he wanted an adeptus in order for the Sigils to grow stronger both in number and in power.

Now here you are, bound by chains and suspended at the middle of this empty room. These chains were adorned by talismans that drained away your energy. You were bleeding from your wounds of your previous battle.

Drip. Drip. Drip goes the blood and pools on the ground underneath you. The ground, you barely noticed, was lined by Liyuean script which enacts the ritual of the Sigils draining your divine power from your blood.

To the eyes of a sadist- you were a picture perfect in a canvas. A dark room lined by the damned Sigils, glowing an eerie gold. Then there's you with your bloodied clothes and chains. The red pool underneath was casting a red glow on your way, giving you a red shade to your pale skin.

Everything hurts-

And everything was driving you mad.

You can also feel the Overlord of the Vortex feed from your energy through the Sigils. You sensed his lust for power and revenge. You felt his anger and the corruption within him. You felt his hatred and his want to bring death. For days that felt like years, you’ve been battling against that very same god in your head. This battle was not something you shall not lose to and failure is not an option. If you fail here, then Liyue will fall. 

This god- he was driving you mad slowly.

If ever you are in trouble, do not hesitate to call my-

You shut the thought from your head. You are not going to call him. You will not speak of him. You will not think of him. You will not call him. Not to this place where his corruption will grow. No. You Will Not Call Him.

If it means that me not calling you will keep you safe from the corrupted remnant of a god- so be it. 

Please

However, no matter how much you denied yourself to call his name, no matter how much your heart yearns to be with him- the wind does not ignore the pained sob that left your lips.

~

Ever since the news of Rex Lapis's death and the visit of the Traveler with a Sigil in his hand- the corruption within him just bloomed into something feral.

The Sigil- there was something wrong about it but Xiao doesn't know what is it that is wrong. Then there's you- where are you? Surely with the news of their Archon's death- it would send you to bring forth a meeting for the adepti to talk this over. But now- for days- you remain not by his side.

With you missing- the demons inside him are slowly taking control over him, taking advantage of his vulnerability for you. For each passing day, it was slow torture for him- The worry bubbling in him was consuming him. He glared at the Sigil between his fingers and not failing to notice how his dark aura covers him once more. 

“Traveler,” Xiao called sharply, “What is it you intend to do next?” 

To any mere mortal, the look his eyes held were enough to strike fear, but the Traveler stealed themselves- meeting the adeptus’s gaze with an equally serious calm. “I have my suspicions on a certain harbinger and I-”

“Where?” The Yaksha growled.

“In the Golden House.”

Without a word nor warning, Xiao placed a hand on the Traveler’s shoulder and teleported them to the place where the Exuvia is hidden.

To the Traveler, everything happened so quickly as one event led to another. One moment, they were standing among unconscious bodies of the Millelith then the next thing they knew a corrupted and demonic gust of wind flew them away to the side. Regaining back their vision, they could see Alatus’s spear now at Tartaglia’s barrier made of Sigils. 

Alatus narrowed his eyes at the floating talismans and began to calculate the flow of this incoming battle with precision and accuracy despite his losing control over himself. 

It was a tense minute of sizing each other up, but eventually, Tartaglia has broken the silence with his annoying innocent voice. 

“Who would have thought that I’d have the honor of fighting another adeptus of Liyue?” 

The question immediately fed the corruption within him, the dark aura exploding at it. He knew that he should not believe in the Harbinger’s words so easily, but the glint in the latter’s eyes held truth. You could be out there, hurting, scared, alone. You could be out there, bleeding out. You could be out there dyi-

His aura exploded once more at the thoughts spreading in his being. With a burst of unspeakable power, Alatus lifted his weapon and pierced the barrier once more, this time breaking it without failure. At the threat, Tartaglia backed away as he donned his mask.

In a similar fashion, Alatus, too donned his mask. “I will ask you once,” the Conqueror of Demons spoke with a deathly calm, “Where is she?”

~

He should have killed him then and there. But the call of the Overlord of the Vortex must not be ignored as it threatens Liyue. 

In the small opportunity of escape, Childe took it. But he was weak and injured as Alatus swiftly threw his spear to block his way and teleported right in front of him. In a show of power, the Conqueror of Demons lifted the mortal by the neck.

“I will ask you again, where is she?”

In fear, Childe told him everything and at his every word, Xiao listened carefully- never speaking once. But the anger within his heart, it boils- it rages. His amber eyes bored into Childe’s soul- thinking what he should do to this mortal. Oh how killing him would be so nice. However, when the Yaksha’s gaze landed on the regal form of the Exuvia, he merely threw the mortal in its way.

“Killing you would have been easier. However, the crimes you have presented against Liyue are not mine for me to judge.

I leave the Harbinger to you... Rex Lapis.”

Once out of the Golden House, the Overlord roared once more, shaking the lands of the nation. However, along with it, he heard the faintest of voices. I’m so sorry... I couldn’t hold him back anymore. 

Only then did the demons in his heart freely took control of him. Just like the stories of old, where the Yaksha walks, death follows. But they were no stories. In his way towards the ruins where you were held captive, every step he took brought carnage and even more death and blood to taint his hands. No Fatui will leave this place alive. The very being of destruction ended many lives. Each death, the demons were growing stronger.

All he wanted now was to kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill killkillkill killkill kill killkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkill

Then seeing you suspended in the ceiling and bound by chains. Blood was painted on your lifeless skin. Wounds were littered and bruises were blooming on your form. But most of all, your eyes. What were once full of life and hope- now empty and blank. His demons quieted down.

Broken. You were like a broken porcelain doll.

“N-name...” His voice cracked, not believing it all.

With haste, he quickly broke your binds and caught you in his arms. he was fast to check for your pulse and your breathing. And thank the Archons, you were breathing but barely. You were now walking the line between life and death. With all his might yet a gentle caress, he hugged you for dear life. “Name... It’s me...”

But still, your eyes still held no recognition and it shattered his heart to pieces. With further inspection, he sensed the presence within you. A corruption. A certain evil. 

“Name, stay with me please,” Xiao begged with desperation as he fought back tears. “It’s me who supposed to be the corrupted one between us, not you... I’m not allowing you to leave me, you hear me-”

With a ritual of the adeptal arts, he started purging and purifying the evil left by the god who fed from you. He is not letting you stay alone in your prison, not for a second longer. 

Xiao prays and he never prayed before. Even to his master. But just this once, He prays with desperation. You are the light in his darkness. You are the moon in his night. 

The ritual was a delicate process. For every word he spoke, he was rewarded by your screams of pain and the writhing of your fragile body. He wanted to stop, but he can’t. He had to physically restrain you from trying to escape from his embrace and from hurting yourself. And for every cry you released, Xiao merely shuts his eyes clos just for him not to see your pained eyes. Every now and then, Xiao speaks gentle apologies and words of encouragement for you. You were coming back. But still, the evil persists.

You writhed and scratched against him, until you were creating more wounds for blood to seep through. When it came to a point, you began pleading and begging for him to stop, that was when Xiao had shed a tear. So he continues the ritual, his prayers, and his apologies. They were arriving to a point where the ritual is reaching its conclusion but your screams only grew louder.

Please, just a little more...

Please, just stop...

Please...

The corruption disintegrated away from you in a forceful release of dark energy. He was breathing deeply, attempting to calm his loud heart. When he placed his gaze on you, you were breathing rapidly and your eyes were searching blindly and your hands were desperately holding onto him.

“X-Xiao...” You whispered, “Where am I? Where are you?”

With a sigh of relief, the Yaksha hugged you again closer and his forehead to yours, fearing you would go away again. The action made you lift your hands to his face, still searching blindly.

“I’m here, Name... I’m here.” At his voice, the dam in your eyes broke as you cried silently. Xiao was not adept in emotions, but for you, he will face them gladly. He lets you cry as he gives you soft whispers of assurance, safety, love, and promises. However, you were not crying because of what had happened to you. You were crying for him. After experiencing such corruption-

You sobbed some more- you were this close to him losing you and you could not bring yourself to imagine if your roles were reversed.

“P-please,” you said with a broken voice, “please don’t go to the place where I can’t follow...’

The words, at first puzzled him, but after a few moments, he realized and once more it broke his heart. Bringing you closer, Xiao let loose the tears he was holding back. With a gentleness unexpected of the Conqueror, he simply littered your face with kisses. “I promise if only you would do the same.”

With your smile that he loved dearly for so long you too spoke your promise, “I do.” They were simply two words, but the comfort they bring into the Yaksha’s heart was in volumes.

After that, you shared a few tender moments in each other’s arms. Simply relishing the feeling of their familiar warmth. A little later, Xiao spoke, “Would you like to eat some Almond Tofu once we get home?”

The question made you giggle at his innocence, so you agreed. Despite you needing physical medical attention. But Almond Tofu with him? Yes, you two definitely need some emotional healing.

A/N: fINALLY dONE lmao this was supposed to be short but angst really makes me want to write longer everytime haha~ anyway this request really made me ponder bout genshin stuff with all the corruption this and corruption that but then a question popped up like-

how did childe replicate the sigil of permission? since sigils are imbued with divine energy, i just thought how did this guy accumulate so much sigils to the point of freeing Osial- a god!!! soooo i just played with the idea for a bit then figured out maybe these pieces of paper get the divine energy from a divine source right? and the adepti are divine beings of liyue and another thing- you guys might have noticed the change of names in some scenes- i dont know but i think somehow different names represents different side of a person like- we have childe the cheerful harbinger then tartaglia the power hungry harbinger- there’s Alatus who’s calculating and cold, there’s the Conqueror of Demons who’s ruthless and unforgiving, then Xiao who is calm and humane- lastlyyyyy i might post this in ao3 ksks