#and im going back to uni tomorrow
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i miss interacting w my mutuals !! hi friends!!! (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ how are youuuu!!!
what time is it there ...! its 7:52pm here right now.. uwaa... wawawa...
#🐤mayo's diary#mayo.txt#weekend's over for me guys im going back to uni tomorrow 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#AHHHHH IM SO NERVOUS IVE BEEN IN HOLIDAY FOR 2 MONTHS#im nervous but im excited but mostly nervous aaahh waahhh😭😭#wish me luck.... currently trying not to panic rn
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first uni all nighter woo
#its four in the morning i am not NEARLY done with this fuckig thing#also there being no places to eat on campus after 9pm is fucking diabolical. oh my god im so hungry#2 more hours.....#I HAVE FOOD IN MY ROOM BUT THAT RRQUIRES GOING BACK TO THE ROOM. i am in the laundry room rn bc its well lit#and has big flat tables good for working. but my dorm ROOM is in the basement/ground floor and#the hallways are so fucking unsettling here. i already had to go back once for my charger and AAAA#anyway. finals presenting tomorrow. okay#mine#uni posting
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Theres voices in my head and the voices tell me to ascend, idk what they mean but they sure are annoying
#rain world#rain world art#rain world downpour#slugcat#saint#echo#saint needs to ascend#honestly the fact i played hollow knight doesn't help cuz whenever i hear the word ascend#i just think about gorb#ASCEND WITH GORB ASCEND ASCEND#hollow knight is good tho#i wont post my HK art cuz the way i draw the bugs is weird and i doubt people would like em#ANYWAY UHHH#YEAH HAVE A GOOD DAY#IM GOING BACK TO UNI TOMORROW#SO THATS FUN#go drink water you dehydrated frog
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just think this time tomorrow ill be publicly indecent in a spoons somewhere. i am so strong
#ONE MORE EXAM. WE CAN DO THIS. I WILL BE DONE IN LITERALLY LESS THAN 24 HOURS NOW#AND THEN THE NEXT EXAM SEASON ISNT UNTIL MAY. COME ON GIRL#we have such a fun plan for tomorrow though bc the consensus has just been 'we need to get fucking mangled after this exam'#like i havent been out-out in WEEKS the closest i came was the end of december for a hometown house party of all things#i didnt even go out for nye. let's all take a moment and consider the implications for someone like me NOT GOING OUT ON NYE#so i am OVERDUE a good night out and then on top of that ive had exams be SO fr#and also this is the first year where my main friendship group (i.e not my housemates but my actual social circle)#are ALL econ students like there's about five of us and we all do econ and yeah two of them ive been mates with since first year#(the girl is my best mate at uni and is always who im on about if i talk about a 'girl on my course' and the lad is the one i lived with#in first year and have kind of got a thing with now?) BUT THE OTHERS ARE NEW ADDITIONS AND THAT'S SO FUN#so we're ALL gonna tip out of that exam and then me and her are gonna go back to mine to get ready bc am i fuck doing make-up#before that exam. the STATES i have shown up in these past few days i think the invigilators are worried about me#and then we're meeting the lads at the pub and starting there and THEN going spoons bc it's me and the girl's tradition#(calling her just 'the girl' is so funny. woman 🫵) after exams to buy each other mystery shots at spoons and we HAVE to drink them#and then one of the lads really wants to go to a karaoke bar for some reason?? so that might be in my future#AND THEN we're going clubbing. im so ready. take me home vodka shots. the end is near please please please#hella goes to uni
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hello.....is anybody still here...........
#txt#does anybody remember me its been 84 years.......#im gonna dip again lmao but a life update: switched to playing vanilla & having sm fun ? but also i dont play that often at all#i havent touched sims for like 2 months & came back to it last week#as for personal life im going back to uni TOMORROW! and also im a LESBIAN! many such cases#ok well back to the dead i go
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#i ended up going back to work today and kinda wish i didnt#i hvnt fully recovered#i had sm coughing fits my line mnager started cracking jokes#and at one point i hd tears steaming down my face omg so embarrassing#but also if i didnt go in i wudve been screwed over - sm had piled up that other ppl cudnt do#so i had my teaching session for the uni students and also#there was a major deadline that was due in today??? and no one told me even tho id been asking about it before my role started#and if i missed it the next opportunity to get this type of project done wudve been in 2 years#but niw that ive gone back into work i cant call in sick again tomorrow 🥲 and im on the late shift so itll orobs end up being 12 hrs#this sucks#i feel so crap
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Ive spent most of yesterday doing all my uni stuff for finals and a couple hours today too, and I should be doing much more, but I can actually feel my brain giving out on me rn. Im starting to develop a headache and that's very much Not ideal. I have A Lot to do and not a lot of time to do it, ughh...
Forcing usually doesn’t work on me though, so even though my anxiety will prob have a field day, I guess I'll try to take a break, maybe play some Skyrim, maybe write a lil' more fanfic if my head feels better, and who knows, if in the evening it feels up to it, I can try to add some more to that big project Im trying to finish or start on a presentation for a different class. Either would be nice, but if its not possible tonight, then I guess I just gotta hope taking a break today will help me get back at it tomorrow.
Here's to hoping!
#personal#Raksh's studying adventures#uni stuff#Raksh posts#Im not even gonna think about my thesis#gotta write to my supervisor prof about it tomorrow#tell her where I am with it and ask about a deadline because I might not make it#and whats her outlook on that#I doubt she'll refuse to pass if if we have anything to show for the chapter but still better to ask#for my own anxiety levels at least#ugh today is not a good day#and the time is running out but oh well#life I guess#there's stormy clouds outside but so far no rain and quite hot and humid#so that might be contributing to me feeling unwell#Im not good with changing weather#especially if its in this weird inbetween state#when it hopefully finally rains it should get better for me but we'll see#for now Im gonna hop into Skyrim and my new save#(bcs I could with EE Kaidan anymore and had to go back to the OG version with some ooold voice addons)#(where they were still just the OG lines that were not working - I think - and some fixes to the og mod)#plus Im actually trying to RP more rn#kinda with my fic in mind 😂#so Im starting with the Thevies Guild and making my way towards Kaidan more 'naturally'#and I'll go into the main story after I get him ^^#anyway gonna end the rambles here#and go relax to the sounds and sights of Skyrim ^^
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#so i get back from uni and im trying to rest but no i have to be the one going out grocery shopping#and shopping for the cat and doing other stuff#while the guy who stayed home all day cant go bc hes 'preparing for tomorrows class'#as if tomorrow im going to uni to play around and pick flowers for 8 hrs instead#swear to christ#i hope i graduate before my brother so he can stop acting like i dont actially study and my course is stupid easy
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gorsh
im currently failing sm to focus bcs im just overcome with the thought of MAYBE being able to pick up my funny clay corpse from uni furnace tomorrow. LIKE IM NOT IN A RUSH AT ALL but i want them back and thinking abt this disables me from doing typography for my catalogue augh. I want to assemble my hot transi gf and take pics so i can DO MORE TYPOGRAPHY
#AG AG AGA GA#i left the body parts by the furnace on thurs#and it was finished firing so POSSIBLY they did another batch b4 the weekend? but idk#im crossing my fingers#im way to excited abt this and its giving me tunnel vision#screaming#i have TWO kilns to check one with head and bits and bobs and the scary big boy has torso/arm#please at least one#PLEASE#THE ONLY THING LEFT TO FIRE IS THE ASS AND LEG#I JUST WANT TO HAVE HER BACK ON MY FLOOR#OOOOOOOOHH....#if theyre not baked tomorrow i will do something draaaaaaaaasticccccc#also i made a little clay tray for merlins tiny mug#it has a little spot for a little treat next to the mug spot#vee he he#and little experimental beads#we'll see how they turned out since they have some glass inside and it couldve possibly ran? but i hope it stayed relatively in place#uni#one day i will look back to these posts and go ahhh#freedom#i will have my own fucking kiln and that is a promise#SKULLS!!!#FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!
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#found another small job#and uni semester stars again soon#going back to the city tomorrow#im gonna miss my home#and my town#ahh#im so not ready to go back to roommates house#im going to miss my cats#and my drawing space#i should sleep now zzz#i hope to dream a warm house
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theres nothing quite like packing your whole life into a suitcase and a backpack huh
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Why is it when I have a big task to complete that should take days to do, I procrastinate the hell out of it when I have plenty of time but when it comes down to the absolute last minute, I can do a couple of days work in a couple of hours? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why couldn't I do it casually over a couple of days but can do it in matter of hours?
#ace is a mess#Tag talk#personal#i started to organising/clearing out my room at my parent's four days ago did half of one aspect of it did the other half of it two days#later then did nothing else and yet today ive done pretty much everything else that shouldve taken days in 3 hours? wtf#im losing my room when i go back to uni its being repurposed for someone else and so i needed to actually all of the sht i havent organised#since we moved in in 2018 then made even more disorganised when i moved to uni in 2020 i havent organised ANYTHING the entire time weve bee#here because i was supposed to be getting different furniture and then that just never happened and then im rarely here and just end up l#living out of my suitcase and between switching out cold weather and hot weather clothing over breaks its just become more chaotic and has#been too big of a job for me to even contemplate tackling and now im leaving tomorrow and i have literally choice and have done 5 years wor#in a couple of hours like why? why do i intentionally stress myself out like this? why cant i make decisions if im not at peak stress level#why dont i have any motivation unless im literally feeling ill with stress? why do i work like this?#also yes i know its ridiculous ive been living like this sincee sept 2018 but consider most of the problem was closed inside drawers and#therefore i couldnt see it so it didnt exist. that and im not here much i guess
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I DIDNT DIE
#UHHHHHH???? YEAH#you know when an exam didn’t go bad enough for u to immediately break down but didn’t go well enough for u to be confident#so you just walk out like 😐 that happened 😐#WHICH?? IVE HAD SO MUCH WORSE SO ILL TAKE IT#A WIN IS A WIN#25% THROUGH EXAM SEASON LETS GOOOOOO#I just ordered a take out 😭 girls will do one (1) exam and go okay time for my little treat#I had £10 credit on deliveroo tho so I just ordered a SILLY amount of food for only £8 😭 we’re so back#tomorrow is the online exam too so im v chill about that#and friday is development econ which has been weirdly easy (??? TOUCH WOOD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)#so it should be calm until saturday and the EVIL EXAM that is macroeconomics#place ur bets will this be the year I finally pass it first try? yeah I don’t think so either#hella goes to uni
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sitting in my uni room alone for nine hours blogging non stop is to me what trundling around his cage in circles every day is 2 reggie probably. woah…..
#i watch him climb up the bars and fall down and climb up the bars and fall down for an hour and think. gosh he’s just like me……#anyway back 2 uni tomorrow if the blogging increases to almost intolerable levels that will b why i spend a lot of time sitting on my own#up there to be real with you…omg but it’ll be. succession Monday won’t it. and i don’t even know how im going to watch it while at uni but#I can’t view the dash until I do umm. hang on this is a problem. can I watch succession on soap2day is it on soap2day#what am i going 2 do. ummmmmmmmmm
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less active for the next few days because anthony has gone missing 😞
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Im a pent-up ball of pure stress and restlessness (like chest-tight and heart pounding type of stress) and I have 0 idea what to do with myself, because anytime I want to try and go distract myself with Something my anxiety spikes and my brain goes "!!! NO!!! DANGER!!! LOOK OUT FOR DANGER!!!" so I guess I'll just spend the day pacing the house and refreshing the same 3 pages on repeat, huh...
#personal#Raksh posts#tomorrow I'll know if I got back into uni#so that's the culprit#but I also have no way of assuaging it so fuck me I guess 😩#and depending on if I do or dont get in#its either gonna be a full on depressed crying or a crazy busy next week#plus so much has been happening all around#I finished my internship last friday#we found out our doggo is sick and we're going with her to a vet cardiologist next friday#my younger cousin Ive always been quite close with came to visit with her boyfriend and announced yesterday they got engaged#my bro today said he's planning to marry next year#Im trying not to let my crippling loneliness take me over#it's kinda a lot when all put together 🙈#I thought maybe I could finish typing up what I have of my recent vegaspete AU#its a super indulgent time travel a/b/o shifterd thingy with outsider pov - Nops in this first part#and so I could maybe have something to finally post sometime soon and motivate me to write some more#but I can't focus on that#Ive also thought of maybe gaming a bit#Id actually like to check out Cyberpunk with this new 2.0 update#but again it feels like anytime I try to occupy myself with something my brain goes into alarm mode ughhh#this stressing business is so useless and unproductive why isnt there a switch to it I could just flip and turn it off??#ughhhhh anyway#Im just venting dont mind me#hoped putting it down in some way shape or form would help but will it work? prob not 😂😪#vent#rant
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