#and ill probably be less anxious about it too

[frankensteindotpdf]

between now and april ive gotta find a really nice quality solid [metal] hoop earring

[ithaquasbbg]

I’m back :3

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Frederick Kreiburg | Composer general relationship headcanons

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Tw: Brief mentions of mental illness but that’s it.

Extra: I love this guy so much I wish he was a little more popular among the fandom :,))

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|🩷| Starting off generally- Frederick seems like the type to be hard to get to know. He doesn’t have large amounts of trust for the people around him, and seems to prefer to be on his own. You’d need to put in effort in order to be in a relationship with him.

|🩷| He’s somewhere between pretty and handsome, though probably leaning a little more towards the feminine side.

|🩷| Frederick is insecure when it comes to his looks, often worrying that you’d only be interested in his looks instead of him as a person. You can compliment his appearance, but he might start getting anxious if that’s the only thing you pull attention to.

|🩷| Sure, he’s been in relationships and flings with many people before, he does have a reputation for wooing people. However, he’s never truly been loved by another person. Because of this, he probably is inexperienced in terms of real romantic acts.

|🩷| On top of his, his childhood doesn’t seem like it was very loving, and he may close up when met with physical affection or kisses for a while. When it happens, he often stares dumbfounded for a while. (It’s cute, but a little sad at the same time)

|🩷| He’s very fond of gift giving, though that’s largely because it’s what he’s used to. At the beginning of a relationship he’d likely believe it to be transactional like his past ones and in turn treats it that way.

|🩷| Though as he gets more comfortable his gifts slowly become less monetary in terms of value, and he’d instead compose and play songs for you as his gifts.

|🩷| When it comes to receiving, he’d likely take time to understand why you’re doing things for him, but he’d be very happy with words of affirmation or acts of service. Remind him that he’s valuable to you because he’s himself, not because he gives you things.

|🩷| In all honesty he strikes me as being potentially on the autism spectrum (self projecting a little) and he may not handle touch well due to sensory problems, but occasionally even he’ll find himself longing to hold onto another person.

|🩷| Frederick is not a fan of PDA, and would rather not be touched in public. This is in part due to him being rather touch adverse, but also because he was raised to be very prim and proper, and likely didn’t receive public affection as a child.

|🩷| That being said, on days where he’s willing to touch you and you’re both in private he probably is quite reserved about it. Making excuses to make contact with you such as “you have a hair in your face”.

|🩷| Occasionally he’ll hug you from behind and bury his head into your shoulder or hair depending on the height difference between you two. Hes on the taller side (I’d guess around 5’11- 6’1) and would probably resort to the latter.

|🩷| In terms of big spoon and little spoon… he’s not a spoon. Frederick is a knife.

|🩷| In all seriousness he’s simply not the most cuddly person ever, but will cuddle occasionally. Because of how touch adverse he tends to be you usually let him initiate it, and he typically ends up as the big spoon.

|🩷| He can make a really good little spoon too, especially if he’s the more submissive PERSONALITY (not freaky… this is a holy x reader blog for now!!) in a relationship. Though even then you’d likely need to pull him into that position after he’s fallen asleep, he’d be too embarrassed to be awake in that position.

|🩷| He strikes me as a closeted bisexual, perhaps pansexual. I wouldn’t see him being entirely opposed to polyamorous relationships, but I think he’d likely feel much more secure in a monogamous relationship.

|🩷| He’s a good kisser when he’s open to kissing, probably one of the things he’s the most experienced with in terms of relationships.

|🩷| On top of that he can be quite charming, he knows how to use his words to woo a person through past experiences. Though even then, don’t expect anything too bold from him.

|🩷| Frederick is decisive and can be quite stubborn, he likes to be the one making choices and can come off a little bratty in these situations. But truth be told, he simply wants to know that you respect his thought process and opinions. Please let him make choices from time to time, it really makes him feel more appreciated.

|🩷| He’s an easy person to fluster if you know what buttons to press. Public intimacy is a good shortcut to flustering him some days (going back to this topic. Whoops.) Frederick is pale, and there’s no way to hide the blush on his cheeks.

|🩷| His favorite nicknames for you are probably quite tame if he even uses them. The only one I could really see him using is the occasional “dear”

|🩷| Though you may catch him calling you “his angel” from time to time.

|🩷| Frederick strikes me as somebody who you would call things like “darling” and he’d enjoy it. You could call him “sweetheart” but he’d likely just be confused on why anyone would consider him of all people sweet.

|🩷| Due to his mental health struggles he’s probably somebody who needs a partner willing to put in lots of energy, but he’d totally give 110% back in return.

|🩷| Frederick can function on his own especially after being disowned. This comes out when you’re sick the most, he’ll make you food or drinks and stay by your side as much as he’s able to.

|🩷| His hair would likely be quite nice to play with, and with enough convincing he would probably allow you to fidget with it while he does other things. It’s the least overstimulating type of touch for him, and he’d appreciate your contact even if it’s only through that. :)

[descendinginto-madness]

welt except he has a fever and desperately needs sleep

cw: descriptions of illness, high fever, being kinda delirious/out of it, sleep deprivation?, nightmares, headaches, mentions of death

contains spoilers for welt's hi3 lore

also, disclaimer! welt in here is very reluctant to ask for help and feeling bad about it because... well i imagine he'd react like this, BUT! needing help and asking for it is completely normal and valid and okay; please remember that and take care of urself ok!! ily /p

alright, so...

i'm gonna be honest since i found @bugbytez13 's blog welt sickfic ideas don't want to leave my head LMAO except i will write a detailed description of a fic instead of the fic itself. that's it that's the post

tbh this ramble in particular could be made into two separate fanfics (one sickfic and one specifically about the nightmares) but shh

i will forever be self conscious or anxious about things i post that aren't just headcanons or silly little rambles, but also... writing this went surprisingly smoothly so! enjoy the essay or something idk HAHA

======================================

so, about welt...

i just know this man is going to force himself to stay awake. maybe his self-sacrificing issues are less present now, and he doesn't immediately throw himself in danger in every fight ever, but he's still stubborn as hell. so he won't admit something is wrong. he won't admit that maybe getting way too little sleep several days in a row wasn't doing wonders for his immune system and he's now finally feeling the consequences. to be fair, he expected it might end like this, but he didn't want to take breaks - there's still too many things to take care of before they finally head to penacony. and now, he will still insist of taking care of everything, even though his body is basically begging him to go take a nap.

except maybe, he didn't even expect it to get this bad. or thought that he can just power through it. i mean, he's been through much worse, right? this is nothing compared to literally losing his body for some time. but he's sitting in the parlor car, and he's half awake, and unusually cold, and his head is hurting, and keeping up the act is getting harder and harder - but he has to, because the younger members of the crew are here too, even if only march is talking to him.

but they pick up on the fact that something is wrong, of course they do. his eyes are unfocused, he looks like he's about to fall asleep - or pass out - and march had to repeat herself twice for him to even fully process what she was asking him, and so suddenly stelle is next to him, attempting to touch his forehead - and he recoils. "i'm fine," he says, and it's probably a bit too quick and a bit too firm than he'd like it to be, and all of this is stupid, really, because he shouldn't be scared of someone touching him. how hot can it really be anyway if he's feeling so cold, right? but if that wasn't enough dan heng asks an even more dreaded question, "are you sure, mr yang? do you want us to call himeko?" and welt decides it's time to excuse himself, before he makes them even more worried. because even in his present state, he can pick up on the fact they're concerned, but at the same time unsure of what to do, and it makes him feel guilty. of course they're unsure; he's usually their caretaker, and he always knows what to do, and it should never be the other way around. he should've just stayed in his room all day, shouldn't he.

"thank you all for your concern, but i'm alright." he stands up. "now, please excuse me, i still have some work to do." of course that's true, but he's almost certain he won't be able to focus on that- but he just needs an excuse to get out from here and be left alone anyway.

but stelle is right next to him, and looking determined to accompany him to his room, too. "you look like you're about to fall, mr yang," they explain, and he wants to insist that he's okay once again, but realizes he's too tired to do so. it would take him at least a few minutes, and it's a few minutes he doesn't have nearly enough energy for. he just wants to finally lie down. so, he lets stelle essentially escort him into the hallway and to his bedroom, and make sure he doesn't collapse on his way there, and-- it's embarassing, honestly, because it's already so difficult for him to show himeko the slightest hints that something might be wrong, and right now the situation is similar but ten times worse - so it's also ten times harder for him to come to terms with the fact he needs to rely on someone.

"my... apologies for making you all worry," he says quietly when they reach his room, and he's so thankful that he left the lights off, because the parlor car was way too bright, and though the hallway was a bit better, it still wasn't good.

"it's alright," stelle shakes her head, and stands there in the doorway, even as he heads towards his bed and sits down. "i'll ask himeko to check up on you in a bit?" she asks, and he only nods, though he isn't sure if she can actually see it. he doesn't want to talk anymore, he doesn't want to think because even just that seems to make his headache worse, he just wants stelle to leave, he just wants to sleep-- he isn't even sure if he understood her question correctly, but he also doesn't have the energy to care. he falls asleep the moment the door closes behind her, fully clothed and half covered with a thick blanket, but even then he isn't allowed a peaceful rest.

memories from old battles flash before his eyes, silhouettes of enemies he once fought, those against whom he won - but also of those who severly injured or even killed him, and with that come the memories of the pain

and the fear of losing his body again.

when he finally awakens, sweating, shaky for reasons other than his fever, and still feeling pretty awful, it takes him longer than usual to remember where he is. it takes him longer than usual to remember that he's safe.

but now there's medicine and a thermometer on his nightstand, and a note written in himeko's neat handwriting - though he actually spots and reads it some time later - telling him to rest as much as he needs to, because she'll take care of everything; and only after he does read it and feels a sense of relief come over him, he realizes how much the thought of having to leave all the work in order to take a break actually stressed him out. he still feels bad about it, because of course he does, and of course he's going to apologize to everyone later.

but he's also able to sleep more peacefully now.

[gabessquishytum]

I was thinking about rich bitch Hob, so now, here:

Hob the widower, being “framed” for his husband murder.

Ofc he kill him!!!!!

The old man was boring, he was a pervert, always chasing young men and women, even thought he had an amazing specimen (Hob) as his husband, besides, that man was already going to kick the bucket, so why not speed up that process?

As per usual, Hob contacted his favorite lawyer (and friend) for cases like this.

Not like he had already “lost” four husbands before the “current” one in a span of 10 years, of course, it´s only a coincidence Hob always widows rich old men!!!

Desire tells him that they are tight busy atm, but they will send an equally (if not a little less ◀ Desire´s words) qualified lawyer to help Hob.

Before the first meeting Hob was very anxious, he trusts Desire, but not having them as partner in crime (heh) is already making him feel ill and overall, very down (which, tbh, being in that state of mind helps A LOT in the pictures for the media and maintaining the façade of “sorrowful widower that has been wrongfully pointed as the sole culprit of his husband death”)

But once the gorgeous, regal and very professional Dream enters the picture all worries go away…and panties too.

From Dream´s side, he immediately knew from all evidence that Hob was indeed guilty of his husband murder, but somehow, in between his commitment to his job and the feelings developing towards Hob he let it pass…after all he has a job to do, and he plans to do it as his life depends on it….

(he wants to bang Hob sooooooooooooooooooo bad and that won´t happen if Hob is in jail)

At the end of the trial (in which Hob comes out as innocent) only a week has passed, and Hob has already a new (and hopefully) long lasting, loving, faithful husband 🥰

And if Hob ever finds himself bored of Dream (that case being totally bonkers, both are so into the other in a not healthy way) Dream built an archive of all Hob previous trials.

 (maybe he went into Desire´s place to search for those…putting into use his old lock-picking skills when he was a private investigator…)

Just in case he needs to use that info to keep Hob close to him (threats)  forever (Hob looooooooves that about Dream👌 "YES YES!! YES MY DREAM BE MEAN, BE POSSESSIVE, MANIPULATE MEEE"◀ Hob mind )

Black widow Hob!!!! Fuck yeah!!!!

I love that he found the perfect husband in Dream, of course....... and I can't help but think that these kinky bastards probably use Hob’s criminal history as dirty talk.

When Hob is riding on Dream’s cock, circling his hips and moving with torturous precision, he likes to lean down and wrap his lovely tanned hand around Dream’s slim throat. He'll just rub against his pulse point and grin, and squeeze his hole tight around Dream’s dick. "You know, this is how I finished off number 2. I didn't strangle him, I just put a little pressure right here... and it was too much. His poor old heart just gave out. With his cock right up inside me."

And Dream can't help but moan and cum right there and then.

Or sometimes Hob will be on all fours, having his arse heartily spanked while Dream simultaneously fucks him. He'll whine and plead for mercy, but Dream will lean in and whisper in his ear. "No mercy, darling. Be a good boy for me, otherwise I might start letting things slip..... just like number 3 "slipped" in the shower and cracked his skull open. Let me fill you up, and I will keep quiet about how you pushed him over."

Hob nearly collapses face down on the mattress, he's so turned on. He knows and loves that deep down, Dream is just as dark and awful as he is. He's absolutely keeping Dream forever and ever, even in hell <3

[blueberrymocha]

main 4 fears

gon

✰ atychiphobia, fear of failure

✰ this would mostly apply to his big goals, like if he failed to become a hunter or find ging

✰ completely failing at something like that would make him question his abilities

✰ and feeling helpless is one of the worst things to him

✰ he tends to be a bit of a perfectionist and holds himself to high standards

✰ so combine that with his immaturity and he’d be devastated if things didn’t turn out how he wanted

✰ similar to what happened in the fourth phase of the hunter exam, he’d deal with it by finding another way to prove his usefulness

✰ but he’d also greatly appreciate it if someone else were to remind him of his successes

✰ during times like that, motivation and affirmation go a long way

killua

✰ claustrophobia, fear of tight spaces

✰ it’d be completely irrational so there’s not really a reason it freaks him out sm

✰ but whenever he feels trapped or enclosed, he’s very anxious to get out and easily irritable

✰ because of that, any activities that involve tiny spaces like caving would be off the table

✰ he’s also scared of his loved ones being hurt, especially by his family

✰ which on that note, is mostly illumi

✰ i can imagine killua getting nightmares often about him

✰ he’s gotten used to calming himself down after being emotionally isolated for most of his life

✰ so chances are he developed a way to cope with those fears of his family and wouldn’t rely on anyone to comfort him

kurapika

✰ the obvious one is arachnophobia, fear of spiders

✰ but that’d be less of a fear and more of a trauma response imo

✰ maybe after uvo it’d bother him on a personal level, but before that, it’s just the association to the troupe that irritates (not scaring) him

✰ what he’s really afraid of would be abandonment

✰ which is why he’s so careful to let people in

✰ and while it would stem from the death of his clan, he’s also afraid people might leave for other reasons

✰ like someone getting tired of him or coming down with an illness

✰ to cope, he’d probably push people away so he doesn’t have to potentially lose them

✰ so if you’re close to him, or want to be, he’d need a lot of reassurance that you’ll stay

leorio

✰ acrophobia, fear of heights (even tho he’s a skyscraper)

✰ it wouldn’t be too severe

✰ just freaks him out to the point of screaming his ass off on a roller coaster or closing his eyes on the swing

✰ and planes or air ships are pretty unpleasant, so he’d find himself getting sick sometimes while on them

✰ he’d learn a couple coping mechanisms until it doesn’t affect him as much

✰ so even if you were his partner or close friend, you probably wouldn’t know unless he told you

[cledachefbizzy]

«« PROPER INTRO POST »»

Mostly because I thought I REALLY should make a PROPER post about myself, the blog, and the oc this blog is about !!! All the information about the blog, the owner of the blog, and other details is right below the cut!! - Just know it's probably really long.

!! THIS BLOG IS AN OC RP BLOG !!

This blog is specifically about my bizzyboy OC for the game "Great God Grove", aka Cle! Whom I have posted about before, but it was - well more so a RANT about them, a very messy one too! So this post is to explain things a BIT better about Cle, and Myself (the owner of the account). A little get to know who is running this, boundaries, and again about the character this blog focuses on!

!! FIRST A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE OWNER !!

You may call me Jester, Necromancer, or by the name of any of my favourite characters if that ever comes to mind! I go by He/She/They prns, but also One/Ze neos, being just an agender fella out here! Felt like it's worth noting I have diagnosed ASD, but I'm also chronically ill >_< (Hashimoto Thyroiditis, it runs in my family,,) - I do my best to interact with others and keep going forward though! - Just pls be patient with me if you could, overall my social skills r a bit MESSY! Going by my boundaries now, I find my comfort with certain things fluctuating, but usually I remain uncomfortable with things that are suggestive or 18+, even the small mentions. - This is due to a bit of a private reasoning, but I've gone through stuff and just prefer to avoid it most often. - I've put it in my settings to hide such content from me though, so for those that occasionally post stuff like that, don't worry about it much, just avoid mentions of this stuff if possible when talking to me! Otherwise, I may be PRETTY anxious around the internet, people scary ,, but I do take myself as a fairly friendly person !! I was initially not planning on it, but I'll likely be rather active with posting Cle-related stuff :-). Please feel free to interact with me, especially other rp blogs if you wish!

!! NOW ABOUT THE STAR OF THE SHOW !!

AKA CLE!! Cle's on the younger side of the bizzyboys, having been part of the bizzyboys long enough to prove he's NOT fit for solving mysteries at least, but instead got a spot to cook food for the ones that are out there most often! - She's the one that you can come to for any snacks to get during your breaks, able to make delicious food, as long as he has the ingredients! Which is one of the ONLY reasons he could ever be seen outside the van or the bizzyboy modes of transport. Another time maybe you're lucky enough seeing Cle feel confident enough to solve "mysteries"!

Cle goes specifically by She/He pronouns, she's pretty indifferent to gender! Probably somewhere along the transfem case. - But he wouldn't confirm it, since he's focused on making sure everyone's fed at all costs. - But she does feel detached from being seen necessarily as a guy / any male-oriented things, but he also doesn't mind he/him pronouns. . . Yeah it's quite the confusing case of gender. Cle's known for her lack of bone, being - a bit of a push over compared to others unfortunately. She is rather self-less in a way, at most focusing on other people, feeding everyone, making sure everyone's happy, and making sure he doesn't accidentally insult someone somehow! . . In a way though, she is extremely friendly and at times talkative, if he finds herself comfortable enough around you. Which can be a rare case,, But coincidentally enough, this is the main reason Cle joined the bizzyboys, he did find that it was possible to at least feel a sense of belonging and community amidst them, which - Cle evidently looks for wherever she goes. He's a fella who wants to find a place to belong, a place where he'd feel happy no matter who she is around! - But it's hard to feel that way when he tends to avoid people that AREN'T the bizzyboys now-a-days.

A bit of a fun fact galore! Cle's got a tiny bit of a crush on Cobigail, why? - Well I like Cobigail and I want to self project even a tiny bit, pretty corn goddess what can I say? - Also the entire Milldread thing about community and all is something that speaks to Cle! He's an odd case. - But by most part in what content I make of Cle, her love will be unrequited </3 No true fulfilled yuri for him. He often avoids mystery solving and all that, that's pretty obvious, her main job is to make food for those that order some! - Like that 56 empanadas someone once ordered. . . jeez. Cle's hair is much poofier than others, curling and all that! Mostly because he simply. . . doesn't take care of it. She forgets to straighten it often times. You probably shouldn't ask how long it's been though. They only LOOK on the verge of tears to be fair, even if they probably are at times. Don't yell at them you shouldn't test this.

!! CLE'S REF + ICON !!

101 HOW TO RECOGNISE WHAT POST WILL BE ABT WHAT! If i'll even remember to follow this,, #ChefsReblog - Reblogging something ! #ClesKitchenChitChat - Responding to Asks ! #ClesTwoCents - Responding to other rp accounts / dialog ! #ClezBakedGoodz - Cle content!! Cle content alert!! #OutsidetheKitchen - OOC posts #SnackTime - Doodle posts

Any and all interaction with my blog is perfectly fine! Especially from other rp blogs if you wanna :-), I'm fully open to talking to others, especially GGG fans because it's currently one of my hyperfixations! Thank you for reading if you made it this far, by the way I think I set up the ability to send asks/questions, so feel free to do that too! Pls bombard my freak with questions I'll most likely doodle her response to those !! - As most of my responses to ANYTHING I feel like I could respond to will include little messy doodles.

[misty-caligula]

This is my big one for s2e6 and it’s the thing that made me bolt upright in my chair, really just ... kicked me in the chest. For context my point of view on the show is a non-supernatural one, I do not think Lottie is psychic I think she’s delusional. It’s okay if you do not, but that’s the context for my take:

I have a strong suspicion that adult!Lottie’s being played, and I really do not like it.

Full disclosure, I have a history in the psychiatric world as a patient, I’m not schizophrenic but I am psychotic and I am well managed and very stable but like... I know what this shit is meant to be like, from about 15 years of personal experience. So back in s2e4 I was immediately .... confused. By Lott’s new psych. She seemed... just off.

I thought to myself “Hey, you know, psychiatry is one of those things that is so often misrepresented in all forms of media, I’m probably just reading too much into it.” But then I rewatched (and rewatched) and the more I did the more it felt... deliberate. What got to me was that ... her normal psych has gone on sabattical and been replaced, and the new one is trying to tell her not to suppress her visions with medication but try to understand them and what they’re trying to tell her.

A real psychiatrist simply would never talk like that. Would never suggest that. As far as psychiatry is concerned, Lottie is schizophrenic, her visions are delusional. And delusions/hallucinations are less ... they’re less like dreams where you might think “Oh I’m going to keep track of what I’m dreaming about and see if it means anything” (which, incidentally, is also not a thing a psychiatrist would usually do, but that’s besides the point) but are more like... a damaged computer, throwing up random, unsorted and unrelated data. Our brains are pattern finders, we desperately try to make connections in what we experience, and when our brains start misfiring and giving us bizarre and nonsensical data we still try to connect it. Delusional thinking doesn’t ... say anything about you, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just the brain trying to sort nonsense into piles of organised nonsense.

From a psychiatric perspective a delusion or hallucination is a symptom no different to a ... headache or a rash. It’s a non-desirable issue to be treated and ideally cured, not ... explored and looked at for some kind of deeper meaning. And this isn’t even talking about like, trauma, and processing it through therapy. Lottie’s psychosis manifested long before the plane, she’s been on medication most of her life. It’s not something she can just... ignore, or choose to fight, or try not to have. More than that, by actively engaging with it it damages her coping mechanisms that she’s developed over the years to ground her in reality when she’s not certain.

Anyway. This all just seemed.... off. Wrong. And Lottie’s reaction is to say “There’s no meaning, because they’re not REAL.” Because she’s spent a LOT of time in treatment, trying to build a solid foundation of reality to live on. She’s clearly very distressed by the idea of losing touch with that, and her psych is NOT helping. It all seemed very... off.

I thought through options of what was going on. Maybe... maybe her new psych isn’t real? Maybe she’s talking to the wall? That was my best theory with so little to go on. But it was not a very satisfying answer, and didn’t really fit the general themes and style of the show anyway... I was confused.

Fast forward to ep 6 and we get more time with the new psych. Lott is now CLEARLY agitated. She can’t sit still, seems very anxious. She starts talking about “the visions” and “this feeling even about things that I know are right infront of me, it’s like it’s pointing me towards back then.” Her psych says “Is it possible that your fear of the past might be actually your fear of your illness?” Only THAT IS NOT WHAT LOTT SAID. She didn’t SAY she was afraid of the past, she was afraid of “a feeling about things I know are right infront of me, pointing me back towards then.” What does she mean by that? Finding random queens in a pile of papers? Visions of dead bees? The reality is that she’s not afraid of the past, she’s losing touch with reality. In psychiatric wording, she’s struggling to hold onto “insight” i.e. the ability to determine what’s real or not.

Lott kind of misses this disconnected thought though, and instead she says “That’s not the problem, I’m not worried that I’m ill, I’m worried I never was.” This shows a complete LACK of insight, she’s forgotten that only very recently she was terrified of her illness and now she’s suddenly thinking that maybe 30+ years of treatment were all for nothing? Maybe she was just never sick at all?

Then she goes off on a tangent, she says “With Travis coming, Natalie and now Misty’s here too. It’s like it sent them here, to show me.” “To show you what?” “That it WAS real. And that I wasn’t the only one who felt it out there, that it was all of us, that it was a part of us.” “What is...it...Lottie?” And she goes off about the god of the wilderness and the terrible things they did.

But... okay so Lott’s losing her objectivity here, which is ... not uncommon for a psychotic person to deal with. And she’s developing a belief that she was never sick, that she was never delusional, that it was always real. Now only 2 episodes beforehand she’d come to the psych on an emergency basis to increase her meds PRECISELY because she was afraid this would happen. She’s TERRIFIED of getting to this exact point, being this exact way. Because it leaves her absolutely out of control of herself, her own mind.

But listen to what the psychiatrist is saying. First she says to her face that Lott’s psychosis is “controlled.” But... no it’s not! She’s having hallucinations, she’s CLEARLY delusional, and showing all kinds of signs of psychosis. She’s definitionally out of control.

Then she asks probing questions not about her mental state, but about the details of her delusions, about the god of the forest. She STILL hasn’t increased her meds and she’s acting like it’s not at all weird that she’s saying stuff like “I think I’m not sick and never was.” Which, to a psychotic person or a psychiatrist is SUCH a red flag, because the next immediate question to raise if a schizophrenic or bipolar or otherwise psychotic person says those words is “...are you taking your medication?” Because believing that you’re not delusional is one of the core hallmarks OF BEING DELUSIONAL.

Literally the definition of a delusion is a belief without evidence that you hold against all odds even in the face of contradictory evidence. If you are sitting there saying EXTRAORDINARY things and requiring zero external evidence to back up your claims and ABSOLUTELY certain in those beliefs no matter what... that’s delusional. Of COURSE you think you’re sane, if you lack insight you simply cannot tell what you’re thinking isn’t rational.

It’s like you are so certain that gravity exists, you can feel it, you can see its’ effects, and you comfortably put your life on the line for gravity a hundred times a day. If someone told you gravity wasn’t real you’d think they sounded mad, and if they told you YOU were the one out of touch, and that actually gravity wasn’t real, you could just look around and go “Uh... obviously you’re wrong.” But if you’re getting bad info into your brain you could be relying on something with JUST AS MUCH certainty and have absolutely no idea or capacity to tell that it’s actually completely wrong, no matter how many times you were told or shown. Medicated psychotic people regain their insight and can say “Sometimes I think things that don’t make sense, and I can tell that they’re not real, and I’m glad I don’t make choices based on that false information.” Unmanaged psychotic people say “I don’t know why I should take some pill, I’m fine, nothing’s wrong at all.”

I just canNOT fathom how any psychiatrist in the world would sit with a known schizophrenic patient who’s describing having active visions, who believes that a god they found in the middle of the forest is sending people to them so they can all be magically healed by them, and not IMMEDIATELY say to themselves “Hmm, this person is clearly having a psychotic event, is clearly in a tough spot, and needs their meds adjusted and maybe we should look into their wellbeing in the short term.”

All of which led me to suddenly jump up in my chair and shout “OH MY GOD” at my poor friend who was watching with me. Because I think that Lottie is being manipulated. I think that someone’s been fucking with her meds. I think that someone got rid of her real psychiatrist and replaced him with a plant. I think the new psych is either trying to encourage her to become a more invested cult leader, possibly the cult is becoming like... more intense without her knowledge and they’re trying to turn her into a saint by removing her meds and encouraging her delusions. OR someone is trying to work out what REALLY happened in the woods and they’re manipulating her so that she’ll tell them the full story while she’s vulnerable and confused.

Either way, I’m 99.9% sure someone’s deliberately fucking with her at this point, and it’s actually really pissing me off because I can’t stand seeing vulnerable people, esp mentally ill people, being manipulated and used. It’s a HUGE thing for me, and ... aaaaaah whoever’s behind this shit I hope they meet Shauna on a very bad day.

[andimlonely]

I am thinking about siscon Mickbell..

TW: incest ofc, possessiveness, size difference, unhealthy attachments/codependency, a tiny bit yandere?

////spoilers for Mickbell's backstory, fem reader

considering how attached he is to Kuro, who is basically his only family, I can only imagine how protective and clingy Mickbell would be if he had a pretty girl for a companion. So instead of finding Kuro alone, you're already by his side when Kuro joins your small- now a little less small- family.

Although he canonically has a sister, I kind of like the idea of found family tall-man! reader who is a little younger than Mick and also was left to fend for herself as a child. He probably meets you in a similarly dire situation to how he found Kuro, and though he got by on the principle of 'every man for himself' up until then, he's swayed by your endless stream of tears, the way you tug desperately at his shirt and plead him to help you, the way your position mirrored his own.

Since you're not a half-foot, you end up far outgrowing Mickbell, but he still takes to his role as your big brother, never letting you out of his or Kuro's sight, eating less when necessary to make sure you have plenty of food, snatching pretty things he thinks you'll like, fussing over you, discouraging your naturally trusting nature and reminding you the only one you can really count on is him (and Kuro, but him first). On the battlefield, Mick lacks the ability to properly protect you, but he makes sure to always at least hide where he can always see you, and orders Kuro to prioritize your safety. You, in turn, remain vigilant over the other two, and since you're proficient with a bow, you take it upon yourself to compensate for your brother's lack of self defense.

I like to think that growing up with you by his side has made him a little more considerate and courageous, but he's largely still stubborn and petulant, and in some ways less mature than you despite the age difference. That said, he's still more street smart than you are, and insists you stay close at all times. You trust Mickbell more than anyone, so you always do as you're told - mostly.

You know that you can't just trust anyone, but you also don't want to believe that everyone is out to get you either. You know that your brother is only looking out for you, but you think he's being overdramatic by insisting you don't get close to anyone else, and you want to show him that it's okay to rely on others too. And while his reluctance to trust anyone else is a major reason he dissuades you being friendly with others, it's not the only one. In reality, he's just as anxious about the possibility of you taking a liking to someone else and leaving him to join them instead.

Though he doesn't admit it to you, Mickbell is hyperaware of how ill-equipped he is to protect you, how you would be better off with someone of a different race. He's especially paranoid that you'd prefer a tall-man for a companion, and is especially insecure around any competent and good looking tall-man your party encounters. It doesn't help that other people make snide comments about the two of you, about how for a "big" brother, Mickbell is far less mature and dependable than you are (and yes, smaller than you). You always wave off their comments, reminding everyone that he saved you, and Kuro, and that even if you aren't actually related, he's a great brother, and an important member of the team. Your defenses always have Mickbell grinning smugly or sticking his tongue out at his detractors. Likewise, if anyone ever has a problem with you or even suggests anything negative about you, he'll defend you really fervently - even if the criticism was valid and put gently.

When you first joined Kabru's party, it was a bit of an adjustment for both of you. You weren't used to being around anyone but Mick and Kuro regularly, so you were a little nervous about making a good impression. Thankfully, everyone gets along well and before long, you could even say you're friends with everyone, growing particularly close to Daya and Holm. You're relieved that Mickbell also transitions into the party pretty easily. Still, the decrease in time with only each other is difficult at first, and means you have to find any opportunity to spend time together. Any time you aren't in battle, you're always at each other's side, your hand in his when you walk. Whenever you're sitting around the campfire, one of you is usually wrapped around the other - Mickbell's favorite is when he sits on something that elevates him enough so that when you're sitting on the floor in front of him, he can drape his arms around your shoulders while your party converses.

It's something your party has taken note of. Your closeness was of course expected, but sometimes it surpasses what most people would expect from siblings. Technically, they reason, it's not really that strange since you aren't actually related, but it still has your party members exchanging fleeting glances or avoiding eye contact at times.

Eventually Mickbell realizes it would be easier if he just didn't refer to you as his sister. Maybe if he called you his childhood friend or just a companion, no one would think twice when they saw you sharing a bed roll. But to call you anything less than his family would just feel.. insufficient. More than that, it wouldn't change the way you feel about each other when you're alone. You're everything to him, it's only ever been you and him. You're each other's first companions, first protectors, first kiss. And while you two are mindful to not be too affectionate around the others, when it's just you two, he reminds you just how much he adores you. Just how much it doesn't matter if you're taller or bigger than him, how much you've grown - he's still your big brother and he still knows how to take care of you best. And of course, he needs to make sure he's still your favorite.

[crimeronan]

On the Luz getting sick train inspired by the previous. (probably bad and contrived but i am not going to listen to my internal self critic since she sucks)

Luz is sick with *something tm* and getting exceedingly feverish, anxious and delirious, Hunter starts trying to get her to relax and look after her, even as she tries to insist that she's fine and she's just got the sniffles.

Naturally Hunter starts getting a little sick too , and then well...

The inevitable panic ensuring as all those fears she'd put into the nice little ignore forever box come rushing forth and results in a horrible episode and confession, panicking and crying and not making much sense at all before she falls asleep in a very confused Hunter's arms as he just tries his best to nurse her through it, desperately hoping this is just Luz being delirious making all her usual hidden anxieties much worse. Eventually Luz wakes up with no real memory of the incident but still acts noticeably and exceedingly nervous about Hunter being ill.

Even if it is plainly obvious to Hunter there's obviously more to it than that than just her usual panic attacks made worse by the illness, he is actively not thinking any further about it there is not one ounce of him that wants to and he is just in the most active state of denial, trying not to think one bit about what happened. Whatever it is she is scared of and guilty about cannot be good or something that can ever see the light of day so he is just not going to ever ask about or dig into any of this at all.

Even better if Amity is present for this, is not in denial and is desperately trying to get Hunter to be less in denial about this which of course leads to even stronger denial.

luz gripping amity's arm like [So Fever] listen. listen to me. hunter is going to hate me forever so it has to be you he's never gonna speak to me again. he's a corpse and his pieces are gonna start falling apart

amity, who was following this pretty well up until the last sentence: ..........okay. yes. understood. and, um. how high is safe for a human's temperature again??

luz who's trying to tell hunter that she's been figuring out where to source parts for potential organ transplants for years, but she's making absolutely no fucking sense, because actually galdorstones do not work as a replacement for an anatomical witch's heart. luz you are so sick go to bed

luz drops the term "grimwalker" and hunter does only the most basic cursory search just to say that he did & is like well that's an extinct mythological species! she was pulling from her history books. meanwhile amity does slightly more than a cursory search & is like hey um hunter. hey. can i um. listen to your heart. for completely normal completely platonic completely non-deranged reasons.

[haljathefangirlcat]

Help. I think I'm actually hooked on the 2024 Fallen series. Yeah, Fallen like the paranormal romance YA Lauren Kate novel that I never read because every plot summary made it sound like simply another Twilight rip-off thing with a brooding male lead who just had to treat the Too Stupid To Live female lead like shit from the get-go "for her own good" or whatever. Also Fallen like the movie adaptation I'm like 98% sure I did watch at least once when it aired on tv and I said "eh, let's give it a try" but I remember absolutely nothing of except it being bland and boring and maaaybe also the opening scene.

I said "eh, let's give it a try" again with the series because my mom was like "oh, I heard this is good." And... it actually is good?? Not "masterpiece" or "pretty much flawless" good, or even "I'll probably still be obsessing over this in a few years" good, maybe, but "this feels pretty well-paced and I'm having fun and feeling emotions (and even feels), I'm actually curious about the solution to the mystery (even if I already know what I assume will be the main part of it) and care about the main cast of characters and want to find out more about the more minor ones, and... well, I just want to keep watching this to the end" good. "Do I have the wrong Fallen entirely in mind or was I just being a dick way back when" good.

I'm also glad to report that, four episodes in, the male lead is not a brooding asshole, the heroine does some very, very risky stuff but actually plans it through with her friends and allies instead of going off alone for no good reason except artificially amp up the drama, and I quite like them both. I don't particularly ship them (yet?), but their romance isn't some kind of grating insta-melodrama that just keeps building up and up to obscure anything interesting in the show, either. They're kind of cute, actually. I could do without the hints of a love triangle already sprinkled here and there, but the same "well, at least it's not being focused on ad nauseam" applies. And it's compensated by the fact I mostly like the other guy (in a kind of light "wanna put him in a petri dish and study him" way, at that) and also the male lead gets to have platonic female friends he cares about without the female lead needing to have a conniption over it. Plus, the way the characters go about expressing attraction feels a lot more understated than I would have expected. Which may be a weird thing to like in a romance series, but it just fits?? Between the horrors and all the deaths and gaslighting and "fuck it, we need a way to break out/find the truth"??

I have no idea how much was really changed from the book, or how. I do know that at certain points I happened to think "oh, god, here's Quirky Best Friend/Quirky Anxious Loser Best Friend/Unreasonably Petty Bitch 1/Unreasonably Petty Bitch 2 to really bring in that 2k YA Spirit. Can't avoid the high school dynamics even in a mental-institution/rehab-centre-as-a-front-for-some-kind-of-creepy-sect setting, I guess"... and now I really need all those girls to make it out okay, please.

Hell, I'm even interested in the creepy sect people. And not just in a "the heroes suck so bad that I'll get what I can from the villains" sense. I genuinely like that they disagree on how to run and protect their little cult and they seem to have their own motivations and inner struggles, and that the implication that they may be doing it all for A Higher Purpose doesn't make any of it seem any less fucked up and terrible and hurtful.

I'm not sure I'd wholeheartedly rec this show without a "yeah, the setting is literally a mental-institution/rehab-centre-as-a-front-for-some-kind-of-creepy-sect, and it goes into some really dark places in that context" caveat, as well as another one about how I'm not qualified to talk about how realistic or tactful its portrayals of mental illness, self-harm, anger management issues, emotional and mental abuse, etc. may be. I can say there's a sexually abusive relationship in it that I found depressingly believable in its build-up, with the actual sexual abuse itself kept mercifully off-screen. Aside from all this, there's a non-white character who tends to act as a bit of a handyman/Guy Who Finds Useful Stuff for the white leads' plans? But I feel he has potential to be more than that and I hope he gets some more depth or development.

All in all? I've seen Tumblr go crazy over things I found way worse in quality. And I might have a couple of femslash ships for it already. So, I'm hoping for both a second season and at least a bit of a fandom, lol.

[my-favourite-zhent]

New Tricks - Chapter 15

Status: Work In Progress Version: 1.01 Pairing: Rugan x AFAB!OC Rating: NC-17 (This chapter NC-17) Genre: Adventure/Romance Summary: Misadventures of Rugan and the original Zhentarim Gate's crew before and during the year of three sailing ships.

Notes: This one was a tough one to push out, and I had a lot of help doing it.

As usual characterization chief @fistfuloftarenths played a big role. Whenever I have a feeling about a character that I can't articulate she has all the missing words on the "why" of it. You should definitely read Isn't it a marvel? by her!

@dustdeepsea of Trouble will Find me fame (go read that and Performance Review!) and @thisaccountisagainstmywill (read What Else Would We be!) acted as lovely beta readers.

Table of Contents Read Here on AO3 as this is an *adult* chapter.

Milder excerpt below the cut.

New Tricks - Chapter Fifteen Excerpt

Sal sighed as he sat his pack down and collapsed onto the inn bed. The road from Crimmor had been rough. Conditions had been fair, no beasts nor bandits had accosted them, and yet the mood had been nothing short of dour. Olly had sulked the whole time and Bellar had been terse and demanding. Sal was certain if they had spent another day on the road the two of them would’ve come to blows. For all his talk of seniority Sal had a feeling that Bellar did not actually enjoy the mantle of leadership. Bellar was more for fighting, less for responsibility and morale.

“Don’t forget to send Izzy.” Olly was kicking his boots off as he stretched out on his own twin bed across from Sal’s.

“Give me a minute to get my bearings, Olly.”

“Right.” Olly replied but continued to stare at Sal expectantly.

“Dammit, Olly.” Sal sat up and crossed his legs, closing his eyes so he could focus on the spell. “I can still feel you staring, Olly. Give me some space.”

“Sorry.” Came the sheepish reply, and he heard the lad shuffle to look the other way.

Sal exhaled slowly and envisioned the glyphs in his mind, his fingers tracing their various shapes in the air. Thinking carefully to ensure his message was clear, concise and no more than twenty-five words.

‘Hello, Izzy, we’ve arrived in Athkatla. We’re staying at the Adamantine Mug. How fare you and our illustrious leader?’

‘Sal,’ Came the swift reply. ‘he is well enough to speak. I will send him soon as he’s able, sooner if he doesn’t learn to hold his damned tongue.’

“Shit.”

“What did she say?”

“Patience, Olly.”

Sal focused on casting the spell a second time.

‘Rugan, what in the nine hells did you do to fuck up the best thing that ever happened to you, nay any man?’

‘Sod off wizard.’ Came the terse reply.

“Fucker.” Sal hissed, regretting wasting the spell slot.

“Well?”

“He’s awake and making an ass of himself.”

+++++

Izzy hadn't come to see him again that evening. He had hoped she would return for supper, but a maid had delivered his meal in her stead.

As much as her constant coddling grated on him, being left to his thoughts was even less agreeable. What would Zarys say, or worse yet, do when she found out about him taking ill, and exactly why he had taken ill? He'd have to confront Olly about that too. He didn't look forward to the chastisement the lad was in for, but it was necessary. Probably sounded damn hypocritical coming from him, laid up as he was because his heart had taken pity on poor, sopping wet Olly.

Sal’s sending only added to his anxieties. If Sal knew he had fucked up, that meant he had ‘spoken’ to Izzy, and that Izzy had been angry enough to say something about it.  Why was everything so difficult here when it had been so easy in Waterdeep?

He had hardly eaten, and spent what energy he did have pacing his room that evening.

When Izzy arrived with his breakfast the next morning he felt a rush of relief. He stood from his seat to greet her, having felt well enough to dress himself from his pack, and anxious enough that he had woken early. She didn't seem angry, but she was guarded, her usual easy smiles absent when she greeted him and set down his tray.

“You seem much better today,” she said tentatively and pressed her hand to his forehead to gauge his temperature. “No fever either, I think you might be able to stop with the tea now.”

“Thank the gods for that.” He smiled at her, hoping to coax her out of her shell. “I’ve had worse medicine in my life but only just barely.”

She gave a polite half smile and he felt his own falter.

He bade her sit with him while he ate and Izzy assented, though while she sat across from him her mind seemed to be somewhere faraway. Her expression was anxious as she gazed out the window.

Rugan took the opportunity to admire her as he ate. She was beautiful, with her high cheeks and bright eyes, that soft mass of raven hair. It called to mind another memory, their first morning on the Prow: her hair pooled out across the pillows, mouth parted in a silent cry as he had moved inside her. The way it had felt to have her fingers intertwined with his own as they had rocked together.

As if sensing his gaze she turned to meet it. She must have noticed just how intense his scrutiny was because her cheeks reddened when their eyes met.

“You didn't come to see me last night, Iz.” He gently chided.

“I had an errand to run.” She replied softly, but Rugan felt strongly that wasn't the principal reason.

“An errand, at that hour?” He asked sceptically.

She nodded. “I have something for you, let me go fetch it.”

Without another word Izzy slipped out of the room. She returned with a folded bundle of cloth tied with twine and presented it to him with both hands. Rugan stood to gingerly accept the package and placed it on the bed to unwrap. Even before undoing the twine he could tell the material was a fine black wool. Slipping it free from the strings he held it out and realised it was a rain cloak. It was lined with another layer of wool dyed mustard yellow, and he guessed that it would fall to his calves.It was a fine cloak to be sure.

Mercenary work would earn you a fair bit of coin compared to common trades but you wouldn't get rich by it. And a cloak like this could be a month's wages. An amount he could scarcely part with. Hells, half his kit had been scavenged from the cooling bodies of friend and foe alike.

He had extorted for less, killed for less. It would have been one thing if he had bartered or threatened her for this, but to receive it as a gift? 

“Iz… how much coin did this cost you?”

“It’s considered rude to ask the price of a gift you know.”

“I can’t repay this, Izzy…”

“It’s also customary in many cultures to give a gift without expectation of something in return.”

Rugan continued to stare at the fabric clutched in his grasp as if it were a snake ready to strike. “How could I possibly accept this?”

“Olly still has your old cloak, it would be foolish of you not to.”

She was right of course. He couldn’t afford to fall ill a second time, could afford a new cloak even less, especially one nice as this. But the thought of taking it made his stomach turn.

His taking pity on Olly had been a chink in the armour. An unacceptable weakness that had left him in a position of vulnerability. And now she was heaping favours and gifts on him he could never repay, nor could he afford to refuse them. Were he hale he would've turned his nose up at the charity of any noble. But he wasn't, and Izzy wasn't. Even so.

“You can't just keep lording over me like this.” 

“I'm not lording.It's a gift.” He could hear the frustration in her voice.

Exasperated he dropped the cloak to the bed and turned to her, running his hand over his face and hair.

“I don't know what you want from me in return for all this.” 

“I don’t want anything from you, I want to help you.” Her tone was pleading.

Rugan searched her face, trying to discern what she was thinking, what agenda might be served by her generosity.

“Why?”

“Why did you give Olly your cloak? What more reason do I need to have?”

“You’re a soft hearted fool, Iz.” He breathed.

“In fairness to me, I commissioned this before you threw a tantrum over taking a bath.”

“I did not-” Rugan started darkly, and then thinking better of it, he instead took a deep breath and pulled her into a tight embrace. “I don’t want to fight you, Iz.”

“Then don’t pick fights with me.” She whispered back, her own arms wrapping tightly around his waist, her face desperately pressing into his chest. That broke what little resolve he had and he buried his face in her soft tresses. He breathed in her heady scent and when he finally pulled back Izzy lifted her head to stare up at him with wide eyes and parted lips. 

Gods, when had he last kissed her? Not since Waterdeep. Not since they had said goodbye in that darkened room. He dipped down to kiss her now, his mouth seeking hers out eagerly. Izzy broke the kiss first, panting softly, her hands fisted in his shirt. 

Read the rest on AO3

[stargazer-sims]

The More Things Change...

... the more they stay the same.

Victor and Yuri have grown a lot since their early days together, but no matter how much time passes, some things remain as consistent as ever.

Yuri matured significantly and managed to conquer his paralyzing self-doubt. He runs his own successful communications firm now and is well respected in the business community. But, he still dissolves into a sad little puddle and demands all the attention when he's not feeling well.

As for Victor, he's still working at the hospital and he continues feeling fulfilled by his profession. He likes caring for all his patients and makes their comfort his priority, but the patient who'll always be first on his list of priorities is the clingy and still impossibly cute one he has at home.

Yuri: I’m sorry I’m ruining your day off. I know you wanted to go biking with Davey and Lindsey, but now you’re stuck with me instead.

Victor: I’d rather be stuck with you than with anybody else.

Yuri: Not when I’m ill.

Victor: Any time, no matter what. You know that.

Yuri: I feel bad that you’re missing your adventure because of me.

Victor: It’s okay. The mountain bike trails aren’t about to disappear, and the weather will probably be warm enough for a few more weeks. I’ll have other chances to go.

Yuri: I wish I wasn’t so anxious about being alone. Otherwise, you could’ve gone anyway.

Victor: Honestly, I’m anxious about you being alone when you’re sick, too. Even if you didn’t mind, I don’t think I could’ve just left you.

Yuri: I need you.

Victor: I know.

Yuri: You make it better. I know that probably sounds like a silly thing to say since you can't actually make it hurt less, but you just... make it better. I don't know how to explain it.

Victor: It’s all right. You don’t have to explain anything.

Yuri: Stay close to me. Please.

Victor: I'm here.

Yuri: I was doing so well for so long, but I suppose this was inevitable. They don't call it a chronic illness for no reason, do they?

Victor: I'll take care of you. Don't worry.

Yuri: I know you will, but that doesn't stop me from wishing this wasn't happening.

Victor: Do you think you’d be more comfortable in bed? I can go upstairs with you and we can cuddle for a while if you want. Maybe I could give you a belly rub.

Yuri: I’d really like a belly rub, but I’m not certain I can move. Not until the painkillers start to work.

Victor: That bad?

Yuri: Yes. It's that awful cramping pain, like someone's twisting my insides.

Victor: Do you feel nauseous too?

Yuri: Mm-hmm. I've been feeling uncomfortable for the past few days, but it's gotten quite a lot worse since this morning.

Victor: You didn’t say anything.

Yuri: The pain was manageable, and I've been busy. But I'm worried this might be the start of a new flare-up, and I don't have time for my body to betray me like that right now. I've got too much work to do.

Victor: I don't think your body understands your work schedule, love.

Yuri: *grumbling* Stupid body.

Victor: *laughing* Would it be inappropriate for me to say how ridiculously adorable you are?

Yuri: Probably, but I won't complain.

Victor: Let me know when you feel like you can move. I'll help you upstairs, and I'll take your temperature.

Yuri: Do I feel warm?

Victor: A little.

Yuri: Oh... brilliant. This had better not be another infection, or I'll—

Victor: What?

Yuri: I'll cry. I'll quite literally cry.

Victor: It might not be as bad as you think.

Yuri: What if it is?

Victor: If you have a fever or if you're still in a lot of pain tomorrow, I'll take you to the urgent care clinic. In the meantime, try to rest, okay?

Yuri: Maybe we should go now. I mean, not this minute, but when Caroline gets back from shopping with your mother.

Victor: Do you want me to text Mom and let her know what's up? I'm sure Caroline can have dinner with her and Julian, and hang out there for the evening.

Yuri: No, it's fine. I can wait until she gets back at least, and I think she's old enough to stay by herself while we're gone.

Victor: I don't like the idea of her staying alone, and I'm not sure I can handle being worried about both of you.

Yuri: If anything happens, your parents are across the street.

Victor: You're not concerned at all?

Yuri: Of course, but she's seventeen years old. She needs to be independent at some point.

Victor: I know, but maybe not at this specific point. Maybe we can let her stay on her own for a few hours when you're feeling better, when we can both be available if she needs anything.

Yuri: You know you're being overprotective, don't you?

Victor: You say that like it's bad.

Yuri: It's not necessarily bad. You can overprotect me all you want, but Caroline has a much different temperament than me, and she might not always appreciate being protected as much as I do. I think you need to let go, just a little.

Victor: I don't know. I don't like it.

Yuri: What do you want to do, then?

Victor: I still think she should stay with Mom and Julian.

Yuri: Okay.

-----

Caroline: I'm back from shopping! I can't wait to show you the cute... Oh! Papa, what's wrong?

Yuri: It's all right, Caroline.

Caroline: How is it all right? Are you sick? You were fine when I left. Was it something you ate, or...?

Victor: Papa hasn't been feeling good for the past few days. It seems it finally caught up with him.

Caroline: You're going to take him to the doctor, right?

Victor: We were just talking about that, as a matter of fact. We decided we're going to urgent care.

Caroline: Urgent care? But that's like, for when it's really serious. Papa, you haven't needed to go there in ages. Not since just after we got back from Sulani last time. That's like, almost two years. This isn't going to be like the times you've had to be in the hospital for weeks, is it? 'Cause those are terrifying.

Yuri: That's what I'm hoping to avoid.

Caroline: Well, if you're going to the urgent care clinic, I'm coming with you. I'll hold your hand while we're waiting, and I'll do whatever you need me to.

Yuri: Well, I guess that's your dilemma sorted, Victor.

Caroline: What dilemma?

Yuri: He didn't want you to stay here by yourself.

Caroline: What are you even talking about? There's no way I'd stay here by myself in this situation. LIke, I'm already freaking out, so can you imagine how much worse it'd be if I was here worrying about you all alone?

Yuri: I thought you might like to have the house to yourself.

Caroline: Maybe if it was just a normal day and I had a few hours to myself to do something fun, but not right now. Maybe you can let me have the house to myself some other time. You know, like when you're feeling better and I'm not losing my mind over all the worst-case scenarios and stuff.

Victor: There's not going to be a worst-case scenario.

Caroline: I'm coming with you so I can hear the doctor say that.

Victor: Because I'm totally not a fully-qualified registered nurse.

Caroline: Victor, that's not what I mean! You totally are, but you know there's a hierarchy or whatever. Husband first, then nurse. And you can't say there isn't, because I've seen you acting even more panicked than me when Yuri's sick, and I know for sure you'd never be like that with your patients.

Victor: I do not panic. I'm one hundred percent calm. Trust me, I'm a professional.

Yuri: I don't think you're convincing her, love.

Caroline: You're not. Now, stop pretending to be a tough guy, 'cause we all know the truth. And don't tell me I'm not allowed to come with you because this is one time I'm not gonna do as I'm told.

Yuri: Oh? Just this one time?

Caroline: Ugh! You guys are so infuriating! How can I even love you so much when you're so annoying?

Victor: We're not going to tell you not to come. I'd like it if you did.

Yuri: I would too. I certainly wouldn't turn down the offer of you holding my hand while we're waiting.

Caroline: I know that's not much. It's not going to fix anything, but I also know you really don't like going to the doctor, so hopefully it'll make the whole thing a bit easier.

Yuri: Don't say it's not much. You might be surprised how much it truly can fix when you know you're with somebody who loves you.

[thebawdybaldurian]

Total Eclipse: Another Halsin Hunt Drabble

I just wanted to thank everyone for the tips, comments, likes, and reblogs on my Halsin Hunt drabbles. It encourages me to write more when I can find the time! It wasn’t ever something I delved into before playing Baldur’s Gate 3, but my Tav and I fell hard for our favorite bear elf. It has been very fun expanding my writing into things I didn’t know I was interested in. This drabble is my first to ever get into beast/monster fucking territory and will probably be the limit to how explicit I get with any future ones. I hope you enjoy!

Content and Warnings: involuntary transformation, loss of speech and normal thinking, predator/prey kink, use of spells for control of a wild creature, use of restraints, arousal as a were-creature, humanoid sex (oral, PIV) with a were-creature, curse/disease transfer, were x were sex, memory loss.

The eclipse had been the talk of the city for nearly a tenday, with astronomers reassuring the public that everything was normal and as predicated to be. Meanwhile, rabble rousers and con-men had been selling stories and snake-oil cures for all the ills that were supposedly about to occur once the moon, Selune, blocked out the sun from High Sun to Waterclock. Most level-headed people knew better than to be fearful of the natural phenomenon, but Halsin still found himself anxious the day of the eclipse.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d witnessed one. He was in touch with the natural world enough to know that he would notice one occurring, so the only other explanation was isolated memory loss. He wasn’t yet considered middle aged by elven standards, so that seemed just as unusual. Tav had noticed his anxiousness, asking if he wanted to go for a walk in the park to take his mind off things. She’d promised him a quiet picnic and put on a very sultry sun dress to entice him out of the house, which he finally accepted. Tav put together a small basket and they strolled arm in arm towards the park. “It should be starting anytime now,” Tav noted as the bells of the High Sun hour rang through the city.

The park was fairly crowded for this time of day, many people taking off work to observe the phenomenon with torches and lanterns ready to light. Tav and Halsin took one of the less crowded, wooded paths, keeping an eye out for a nice spot to have their picnic. As the tiniest sliver of Selune peeked beyond the edge of the sun, Halsin felt a terrible pang in his side, doubling him over. “What is it? Are you alright?” Tav stopped at his side, setting down their picnic basket to touch his back in comfort.

“I don’t…know…” Halsin groaned, fighting against the pain, his mind suddenly becoming less clear. His feet began to ache, feeling like he’d been wearing boots two sizes too small. He watched as the leather swelled and then burst open, exposing his feet that had become unusually large and much hairier. “No…it can’t be,” he grunted, feeling the pressure beginning to grow in his leather pants as well.

“What is it?” Tav asked, not yet noticing his feet.

“My heart,” Halsin struggled to speak, finding it difficult to even form the words in his mind. “I need you to run…get as…far away…as you can…please…”

“What’s happening?” She asked, grabbing his face to look directly at him.

“Please,” Halsin begged, gripping a hand tightly against the shoulder of her sun dress. He tore it between his fingers, his eyes widening and changing color. “Go…now!” He growled.

She could see that this wasn’t just an involuntary wildshaping, but something more. She slowly backed away, turning to run in a full sprint when she heard a blood-curdling growl escape his lips. She ran along the path for a while, shouting at anyone in front of her to get away and hide. She eventually ducked into the scrubby woods the park had been built around, stumbling over the detritus to get further away. Her heart was pounding and she didn’t notice the low lying branch until she smacked her head into it, not quite rendering her unconscious, but putting her straight on her ass in a daze.

Halsin had completed his transformation, his leather pants split clean off his body and his long robes torn and bulging around his thick, hairy frame. He barely knew who he was and could no longer speak, grunting and growling as he looked himself over. The uniqueness of his particular werebear affliction meant he would only fully transform during eclipses and not full moons. He could recall this happening before, but even those memories were scattered. He sniffed the air loudly, his snout able to take in all the scents around him. He smashed open the picnic basket at his feet, devouring the contents in seconds, yet felt no satisfaction at all. It wasn’t the food that he desired, but the one who had made it. “Clataedre,” his voice came out as only a growl. His mate, his beloved, his heart. He’d never had a mate when all the other transformations had occurred and he knew he wanted nothing else but her.

He could smell her scent in the air, mixed among the other humanoids that had been on the path. He began stalking towards it, chuffing the air loudly to keep her smell perpetually in his nose. Those on the path beyond that had ignored Tav’s warnings received snarls and growls from the were-creature, scattering them into the woods. He followed her trail when it diverged into the woods, finding a torn piece of her dress on a branch. He pressed it to his nose, huffing it loudly and filling him with even more lust. He could feel his cock stirring in its sheath, needing to bury it inside her. He scratched madly at a tree, trying to temper his desires and continued on towards her scent.

Tav heard the distant screams of others on the path as Halsin encountered them and finally got to her feet. She was still dazed and a little dizzy, a small knot forming on her forehead. She stumbled forward, hearing the loud footfalls of Halsin approaching her. When she turned to look at him, she expected something similar to the partial shifted form she’d experienced before: sharp teeth, long nails, and a little more hair. She gasped when she saw he had completely transformed into a bear-like humanoid, nearly unrecognizable aside from his torn robes. She froze in fear as he stalked towards her, slaver covering his maw, his eyes focused solely on her. She did the only thing she could think of, holding up her hands and casting a Hold Person spell on him. It had no effect and he continued to stalk towards her, growling lowly.

“Shit!” She swore, trying to think. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she was afraid of the hungry look in his eyes. She tried again, casting Hold Monster on him instead, stopping him in his tracks. He was frozen in place, his wide chest still bellowing as she cautiously approached him. “Halsin…my love…is…that you?” She tried to search for any signs of her lover aside from his clothes.

He growled lowly in response, unable to answer any other way. “Are you able to talk? Do you know who I am?”

He chuffed loudly, unable to nod. “Oh, my bear…how did this happen?” She asked, hesitating for a moment, but reaching beyond the barrier of the spell to touch his well-furred face. His chest heaved excitedly as the spell began to slowly wane. “I can’t hold this spell for long…” she pulled her hand back. “Am I safe to be around you like this?”

He made a low grunt, but she could still see the intense hunger in his eyes. She knew he would never forgive himself if he hurt her in this form, even if it was beyond his control. “I’m sorry I have to do this,” she held up her hands again, preparing to cast another spell. “But it is to keep both of us safe.”

Halsin felt the insatiable lust for her shifting into total obedience to her as she cast a Dominate Monster spell on him. He had control of his body again, but he stood still, awaiting her command. “Sit against that tree,” she finally instructed, pointing towards a thick oak nearby.

He obeyed, settling down against it and looking up at her, awaiting her next command. “This only lasts for an hour and I might not be able to conjure another one,” she looked around for something to bind him with.

He watched as she began pulling a thick, sturdy vine off a tree, the sweat from her exertion filling his nose. His cock swelled in its sheath, his desire for her growing even more as she began to tie him to the tree. She had to straddle him to get the vines secured around his wrists, his cock slowly emerging and tenting against his tattered robes. She noticed it when she’d finished the bindings, looking down at it with a deep blush. “Halsin!” She gasped, climbing to her feet. He whined apologetically, turning his wild eyes away from her.

Her curiosity was too much and she used a small branch to move his robes aside. He was even bigger than in his humanoid form, nearly the size of her forearm, slick and red from excitement. She clutched a hand to her mouth, feeling the slightest tingle of arousal between her legs. She could see bits of her lover in the were-beast before her, the lustful hunger in his eyes still tempered with love. He hadn’t fought any of her spells either, willing to accept whatever she needed to do to feel safe around him. She sunk down against him again, straddling him just behind his enormous erection. She touched his face again, gently caressing his soft, thick fur. “It’s still you inside there…isn’t it?” She looked into his eyes.

He whined softly again, nuzzling against her arm and giving her a gentle lick. She pressed her head against his, closing her eyes and considering all the thoughts racing in her head. She finally let out a long sigh and looked at him again, finding the woods had darkened significantly as the eclipse continued on towards totality. “I can’t believe I’m going to ask this,” she blushed deeply and glanced down at his enormous cock. “Do you…think it would help…calm you down…if I…?” She cast a Grease spell into her palm and gently touched his pulsing excitement. He heaved against her, straining his vine restraints with an excited growl. “Easy now,” she whispered, slowly stroking him, her hand unable to wrap completely around him.

He panted lowly, closing his eyes and letting the sensations of her hands overtake and calm his intense lust. He heard her begin to whimper softly, opening his eyes to find her stimulating herself with one of her hands. She blushed shyly when he caught her, her slick hand reaching up to pull the other shoulder of her dress down. He craned his thick neck to pull her dress down with his teeth, exposing her breasts. She giggled softly as his tongue slipped across her nipples, making them as stiff as he was. “I figured we’d get up to something,” she cooed softly, stopping her stroking for a moment to pull her dress completely over her head. “Just not like this.”

She’d skipped the panties, her slick, pink cunt now fully exposed to him. His body vibrated with excitement, straining against his bindings again. “Can you contain yourself?” She asked, rising up to her feet again, her delta teasing close to his drooling mouth. He nodded his head, nuzzling his wet nose against her and taking a gentle lick of her arousal. She let out a confused moan, the sensation completely different from anything she’d ever experienced before, but with some sense of familiarity. Her humanoid Halsin’s tongue was there almost everyday, always eager for a taste of her. His were-tongue felt different, but moved in much the same manner, knowing exactly how she liked to be eaten out. “Oh…” she steadied herself against the tree, her knees weakening from his vigorous laps. His excited breaths vibrated against her, making her climax within minutes. “Fuck!” She cried out, gripping a handful of his thick fur.

It was strange to look down at Halsin’s happy face, so completely different than his normal form, but felt just as much love for this one. She sunk back down against him, giggling and nuzzling his face against hers. “I love you,” she sighed, looking into the same gentle eyes of her beloved. “Even if you can’t tell me it back in this form.” He made a low noise in his throat, his only way to indicate he felt the same. “At least this kind of explains never remembering any eclipses,” she leaned against his wide chest, her hands slowly returning to his excited cock. “So you won’t remember any of this?”

He shrugged his shoulders, unsure either way. “Hmmmm,” she bit her lip, glancing down at his engorged cock. “I guess we should try it all…just case.”

She rose up again, into a squat, hovering over his cock as his breath quickened again. “I won’t be able to take it all…but I’ll take all that I can,” she smiled lovingly at him. She let out a soft cry as his thick head pushed past her entrance, splitting her widely. “Fuck!” She squeaked, her legs trembling as each slick inch creeped inside her. She had only gotten halfway down before she had to stop. “You’re so…hard,” she squirmed, feeling some extra rigidity as she slowly began to ride his shaft. She’d once curiously looked up bear anatomy in a book and discovered they had an extra floating bone in their penises. She could only guess this was what she was feeling.

Halsin growled and panted with her, breaking free of his restraints and used his enormous hands to help alleviate some of the strain on her knees. She rode him a little faster, tipping her head back as his baculum pressed against her g-spot. Normally her loud moans became high pitched as she edged closer to climax, but they began to go deeper this time. She closed her eyes, feeling an intense pleasure that began to cloud her mind. She nearly forgot who she was, feeling as if her body was completely changing. “Clataedre…my love, you feel so amazing!” She heard Halsin cry, though they weren’t words she heard in her ears, but growls she could understand.

She opened her eyes, seeing that the hand she was gripping tightly into his chest fur was now larger and covered in its own golden fur. As she cried out for him, slowing her hips, only a growl emerged from her throat. His eyes opened widely as he took in the beautiful were-bear now slowly riding him. “My love!” He growled loudly, holding her hips tightly against him, now able to take his entire length easily. “The curse…it has…passed to you. I’m so sorry…I had no idea it could be spread like this.”

She looked down at her strange new body, her soft caramel fur a contrast to his dark brown. She reached up to her face, finding it elongated and well-furred. “How?” She continued to explore her new form, circling her thick fingers around her ears.

“I don’t know,” he shook his head. “I have no idea how I was initially infected or why I can never remember anything…perhaps it was the she-bear that gave with me my scar?”

“So…this is going to happen…every eclipse now? And neither of us will have any idea?” She stroked her hands down her voluptuous, hairy frame.

“I believe so,” he nodded, looking down at the ground with deep regret. She reached for his face and made him look at her again, her unusual purple eyes looking deeply into his.

“At least I have you…to share this secret with,” she nuzzled against him, her tongue gently licking his nose.

She began to move hips slowly again, tearing the rest of his robes off him. He growled loudly in response, rolling her onto her back and pressing hard against her. She growled back, playfully biting his neck as he thrust hard into her. He no longer had to hold anything back, pounding her with primal fury that she happily accepted or gave back when she moved on top of him.

They fucked and wrestled along the forest floor as the eclipse reached complete totality and their boisterous growls echoed across the entire park. Their bodies were so different, but they still remembered every special place the other favored. They were careful with their teeth and claws, though Halsin left an overly exuberant scar across the small of her back while taking her from behind. They cycled through a myriad of positions, their strong muscles allowing them total freedom. If anyone had dared to inquire about the panting growls and whimpers of the woods, they would’ve observed quite the scene.

They fell against one another in a final, boisterous fury of musky fur, their bodies going still after a series of loud roars that caused several eclipse watchers to exit the park. They cleaned and nibbled each other’s fur, settling against the detritus of the forest floor in a quiet doze. They awoke when the sky brightened again, the eclipse concluded. Their elven forms had returned and their naked bodies lay tangled together. “Ughhh, how did we get here?” Tav looked around, confused at her lack of memory. They’d gone into the park for a picnic and now they were both nude in the woods, throughly exhausted and sore from exertion.

“I haven’t the slightest idea,” Halsin shifted a little, equally confused.

“It must have been one Hells of a climax,” she grinned as they pulled their sticky genitals apart.

“Aren’t they always?” He chuckled, pulling her close again and rubbing her back. He knew her body so well that he instantly recognized the new scar that his thumb passed over. “What’s this?” He asked, looking over her shoulder to peek at it.

“Mmmm, it’s a little sore there,” she hissed, sitting up slowly and feeling the raised, pink scar. “I must’ve scraped it on something.”

“Perhaps something about the eclipse made us a little more untamed,” he smiled, sitting up and brushing leaves out of her wildly messy hair.

“I wish I could remember it then. It must have been downright beastly to make us both forget,” she laughed, smoothing his hair as well. “Any idea where our clothes are?”

“I think I see something over there,” he looked around, seeing something roughly twenty feet away from them. Their forgotten lovemaking and wrestling had taken them that far away.

He helped her to her feet, pulling leaves and other debris off their bodies as they ambled towards their clothes. “Dear Gods!” Tav exclaimed as Halsin picked up his robe that had been torn in half. Her dress was only ripped at the shoulder and had a few tears, but it was still as shocking to find. “We didn’t accidentally drug ourselves with something again, did we?”

“I’m not sure,” Halsin shook his head. “I can’t even remember what you made for our picnic and I have no idea what happened to my pants.”

His robe was beyond saving, leaving him no choice but to wild shape for their walk back home, so he wasn’t completely naked. Tav was able to tie the shoulder of her dress back together, gently scratching Halsin’s ear after he wild shaped into his bear form. “You know,” she bent down slightly to kiss his snout. “I never realized how handsome you still are as a bear…it’s like you’re…more familiar now suddenly…strange,” she shook her head, a hidden memory gnawing at her mind but unable to come to the surface. He nuzzled against her, letting out a happy, low growl as they began the walk home.

[albatris]

Writerly Questionnaire!

thank you @davycoquette for tagging me :3

About You

When did you start writing?

I started when I was a lil kid, probably about 6 years old!

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

No, they're much the same! Horror, sci-fi, fantasy, mystery :3

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

It's just me n my laptop wherever we end up! Usually on the couch or in bed! I love writing in coffee shops but I'm often too anxious to be around other people ^^;

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Playlists, baby!! Or watching/reading something that scratches the same itch as the stuff I wanna write. Usually some good horror :3

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Oh, absolutely! My works are very Australian in nature!

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

There's themes of uhhhh.... isolation vs. connection, that's one that comes up a lot. Mental and physical illness too. The bendy nature of reality. Anti-capitalism. I'm often surprised when the same themes pop up over multiple works, since I don't often plan it that way haha

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

My favourite character currently is Alex! Alex is from "A Rental Car takes a Left Down Rake Street and Disappears". It's a vampire lawyer who preys on despicable predators human society will never hold accountable. Alex is an intensely private person who prefers to keep to itself, but it's also deeply kind and always looking to help others when it can. It enjoys gardening, sleight of hand magic and expensive wines :3 Alex has my favourite character arc in the trilogy!!

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

Ripley!! Her sense of humour is similar to my IRL best friend's. She's loud, boisterous and silly, and the fact that she talks so much means I wouldn't have to talk as much which is always a bonus c:

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Quinn. They're such a shady bastard. They'd hate me and I'd be scared of them lmao

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

Here they are!

The characters of my two main projects, drawn by me :3 A Rental Car takes a Left Down Rake Street and Disappears on the top and All the Doors are Open on the bottom!

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

It's my way of communicating with the world and connecting to others!

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

When people tell me they resonate with my stories in terms of, like, shared experiences... I love that! Some of the comments I still think about all the time have been from fellow psychosis-havers telling me they resonate with my depictions of psychosis or that my stories made them feel less alone. But I adore all comments!

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

I wanna be thought of as... spooky... >:3

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Characters and worldbuilding! By worldbuilding I don't mean Creating Worlds (I suck at that) but crafting unique premises and putting my own spin on things like vampire lore and interdimensional portals :3

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I'm very happy with it!

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Probly. I think I'd go stircrazy without it. It's my way of understanding and processing the world and my feelings on it. Plus I'd get bored otherwise.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

Both! But I'd say I mostly focus on what I might enjoy!

[hmshermitcraft]

lil bit of grumbo hurt/comfort involving the emotion-eating-watcher lore (more martyn style than hunger au style) scenario: mumbo used to have REALLY bad anxiety and panic attacks, where he'd get really stressed about something, which made it seem more stressful, so he'd get even MORE upset, and then he'd start getting stressed about being stressed, and it was a whole disaster. plus, he'd feel really guilty and ashamed about letting anyone know.

grian, meanwhile, felt terrible about eating people's emotions and was compensating for consistent undereating with lots of use of creative mode and potions and concealing that he was eating emotions at all (trying to pass for a regular flightless avian - it helped that he can eat physical food it just has the nutritional value of flavoured cardboard). mumbo assumed the symptoms from this were from some sort of chronic illness.

when mumbo realized he'd fallen in love with grian, he fell into one of his stress spirals about telling grian. usually he self-isolated during these stress spirals until he was too emotionally exhausted to keep panicking but this time, grian found him.

grian felt horribly guilty about being unable to resist the urge to eat mumbo's panic, right up until mumbo started apologizing for making grian deal with him while he was panicking even if it did make mumbo feel better. one thing lead to another and grian ended up confessing to eating mumbo's panic and liking the taste.

mumbo thanked him for it, and grian ended up calming him down completely. mumbo told him about his romantic feelings, grian asked him if he really wanted a Watcher as his boyfriend.

mumbo said yes, and as well as the normal boyfriend things, grian eating mumbo's anxiety became a regular thing.

Mumbo knows this probably isn't the healthiest way to deal with his anxiety, but this is the best he's felt in years. And he can see how much healthier Grian looks too! Both of them feel good, being able to look after each other like this.

Mumbo doesn't know why Grian being a Watcher would ever be a deal-breaker, though! If anything, he thought his anxiety would be! Which, Grian points out, is exactly what somebody with anxiety would think.

They have been working on techniques for Mumbo to use when Grian isn't around, but this system works for now. And being less anxious makes it a lot easier to try them too!

[theneighborhoodwatch]

It makes me sorta sad that people constantly overlook that Poppy is disabled as per her character description. It literally says her puppet is built in a way where other puppets end up being the ones doing most of the work on-set because it's difficult to impossible for her. Poppy isn't baking cakes; she's likely directing other her other friends in how to bake a cake because she's incapable of actually doing most of the labor involved (which is probably a lot more fun when you love in a children's puppet show, and probably becomes way less fun after said show ends). Her daily life likely relies on help from her loved ones. In this case, her friends. She's not just an anxious hermit, she's an anxious *disabled* hermit who probably needs to be checked up on so long as people are able to do that. And depending on what's going on in Welcome Home that might not be a thing that happens anymore. Being left to the mercy of your own disability mental and otherwise while the world falls apart. As a disabled person in a similar position, *that* is some frickin horror.

... OH.

well, now i feel very silly for not considering this earlier, given how much i've talked about how one's autonomy (and how their life is affected by the lack thereof) seems to be something that comes a LOT in both what little we've seen of welcome home proper and what's been alluded to in concept art and some posts scattered around clown's blog. i'd point out that her bio provides an in-show explanation for why other puppets often end up assisting her (i.e. Scared) but i don't think that even has to be mutually exclusive. that fear could be - and probably is - genuine, but like. i Remember both myself* and physically disabled friends scrambling for more "socially acceptable" excuses to get out of something we knew we couldn't do before we knew what was going on with us, and continuing to do so even after finding out because you either knew for a fact that the other person wouldn't take you seriously if you told them you couldn't do (x) thing because of a disability, or because you weren't sure if they would (thanks to the behavior of people who did not.) i'm not Saying that welcome home is aiming to reflect that exact experience, because there isn't nearly enough of welcome home that's publicly available for me to make that claim, but i was reminded of that while thinking about this ask.

i'm picking up what you're putting down is what i think i'm trying to say. i could say More wrt how this ties back into some stuff i've talked about under the "wh speculation" tag before, but i have a hard time putting it into the right words and i don't wanna take too much away from the ask itself. c'est la vie. * to clarify, i am not physically disabled or chronically ill. mentally though, it's a whole other story that i don't feel like getting into on my Funny Puppet Torment Nexus Blog.