#and if you're writing tim as a kid you CAN make him nervous

[erinwantstowrite]

Sometimes I'm reading a Tim fic and he's written like that one nerd from the boyfriends webtoon that went viral and it pisses me off. like that is not Tim😓😓

this is so real,,, like sometimes i'll read a timkon fic that will feel like tim is basically another character all together (making him overly feminized in some sort of "well one guy is the fork and the other is the spoon!!" mentality) or (this one is for general fics too) they'll make tim abrasively shy, stuttering, etc. and other times he'll be too normal. i'm like hey guys he is insane. he found dick and kory's house, he got into the titan's tower before he was robin, he told dick to his face that dick's parents' deaths fucked him up, he has multiple friends outside of hero work and he's confident enough to be blunt to people's faces. even when writing him younger, he was a weirdo but not a shy one!!!

[aplaceforhumancorpses]

·:¨༺ ♱ HS! AU BATBOY HCS♱ ༻¨:·

𝜗𝜚 Genre: Fluff-ish 𝜗𝜚 Warnings: Obsessive Tim Drake brainrot 𝜗𝜚 Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake 𝜗𝜚 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REQUESTS || Highschool au, the boys are 16-17 here or u can pretend its college idk Gender Neutral reader °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

DICK GRAYSON

Dick Grayson is a frat boy in training. He's showy in your attendance, loud and boisterous with his antics. Look at him! spare a little glance his way, and watch him chug two water bottles back to back… That's impressive, right? He craves you soon enough, he wants that dumb high school sweetheart love story, that 'what if' romance, one where they get married in secret because their parents don't approve of their relationship. With Bruce being inadvertent towards his emotional needs he seems to fantasize about being in your arms for a night.

His courting starts after he watches you at lunch. Picking out a snack from the vending machine. He jots this down mentally and stores the information for the next day. He thinks he's sly, sliding your favorite calorie intake across your desk. "One of these bars was stuck between the shelves and the glass, so I figured it was a sign to do a good deed today. I ended up knocking it down with the other one. Anyway, it's all yours." He says brightly as you smile and reach forward for the bar. It's a little crushed and… oddly sweaty.

Dick won't tell you that he paced around outside of the classroom in passing time, clutching the second chocolate bar he had purchased, and not luckily acquired from the vending machine. His friends may call him "Big Dick" but he is nervous as hell. So when you finally look up and thank him with another smile, he almost collapses with relief and takes off in a light jog to his seat. He's so focused on trying to breathe normally that he can't see the smirk you're wearing. You take a bite and hum approvingly before returning to the book open on your lap.

JASON TODD

Jason is like a stray cat. You don't know how to react initially because he's so abrasive. Contrary to popular belief, he is very kind. Alright, you can borrow his jacket to make your way across campus to your next class, but that's only because it's pouring rain. And he doesn't mind helping you with your books (or even giving you a ride home once.) So he… stays close by. He likes hanging out with you, but he wants you to want him to stay. The fact that you seem to appreciate both sides of Jason makes him hopeful. At least a little bit. If he didn't know better he'd say there's something more going on here than just a budding friendship. Or maybe you just find his company amusing? Regardless he's patient though, and he'll wait until you've made your move to make his.

He's content with life if you're around. You're easy on his eyes, soft and gentle with him when you need to be, and so extremely lucky that he let you in. It started with him avoiding you at all costs, he had probably shoulder-checked you once or twice in the hallways without saying a word. Just that stare with the thinly veiled hostility of a moody teenage boy, and now it has progressed to him following you to classes, his worry for you has him waiting outside your building to make sure you’re safe, watching you walk to your car.. It would have been so much easier if he'd tried a little harder to hate you, to loathe your presence in his existence, but he hasn't done either, he lets himself admire how stunning you are and wishes he could be more like you.

He wishes you two would've met as kids when things weren't so complicated. He was soft back then, and he wasn't nearly as cynical and hard as he is now. Maybe then he wouldn't have become the guy that he is today.

Despite everything maybe you could have fixed him.

TIM DRAKE

Tim may be a bit obsessive. He writes your initial and his own in pen, surrounded by crooked little hearts. He spends most of his classes looking at you, thinking about looking at you, making up scenarios he knows will never come true. He saw you spray some type of perfume or cologne on yourself after gym once. He spared no time looking for it, online, in stores, everywhere. By the end of the month he had it. It was a nice scent. It suited you. Yes, its creepy and weird, but he swears its innocent in nature.

His pillow is soaked with the sent.

He knows he's got it bad. But, how can he just… talk to you? He has a perfectly healthy parasocial relationship!

It's drizzling early in the morning. Since Tim shares his first period with you he catches a glance of you, hair lightly dampened, a few waves falling against your cheek. You catch his attention instantly and awkwardly wave at him. It startles him, and he quickly turns away, burying his face into his textbook. He pretends to read the chapter aloud to himself to avoid any further eye contact. Tim looks up at you through his lashes again. He silently tears a piece of paper from his notebook, scribbling something down. He then pretends to get up to blow his nose, silently slipping the paper on the corner of your desk. He walks past you without a word, and sits down with an audible sigh. Your name appears on the paper, accompanied by some sort of lopsided smiley face.

'You're pretty'

[mayiwritesomething]

Love Is An Unfamiliar Name (pt. 2)

Snacks

Wordcount: 1,9 k

Warnings: none

A/N: hope you enjoy as much as i enjoyed writing it :)

PART ONE

—————

Few months had passed since THAT NIGHT, you had finished two short movie scores. Like many composers, you occasionally played with a band, starting out as a sound engineer intern during your music bachelor's degree. It was during this time that you met the group who would later invite you to become their bass player for live shows. Almost fifteen years down the line, there you were, laying down bass lines for their next album.

As the session ended, you reached for your water bottle when your bandmate, Tim, called out to you. "Hey there, kiddo. I know you're taking some time off soon. Can I count on you for the upcoming tour? I'm planning just a few shows so I can spend more time with the kids," he mentioned while packing his gear. 

"Timmy, you know I'll be there! By June, I should have everything wrapped up so we can start post-production," you assured him. Tim happened to be Amy's husband, whom you introduced, and they had been together for nearly a decade.

"When are you leaving?" he inquired.

"Next Monday, I'm off to Alberta, then back to LA for a few days, off to Paris, then back to Canada, and on and on," you explained.

"The way you put it, it sounds like just a month or two," Johnny chimed in.

"Come on! I don't know why you're talking like that. Most of your work will be in post-production," you retorted, playfully pushing him. Johnny, a master in sound effects, was also part of your team, along with Tim, who excelled in translating emotions into music. Tim, however, would be less involved this time due to his newborn daughter. While he would assist on set some days, you had planned most of his work for the final score during post-production.

"I'll admit, I'm just as nervous as you are," Johnny confessed. "Things are getting real now."

"It sure is, and you're both in this with me. If you mess up, I'll fire you with no mercy," you teased, laughing.

 

"Remember when we met this girl man, she was 20-something, sitting shy behind a board working on synthesizers? Years later, she's our boss in the cinematographic world." Tim beamed proudly, resembling an older brother.

"Well, you know I'm here because you never let me fall," you expressed gratefully, recalling how they had always supported you as if you were their little sister, even during your toughest times.

"Oh, I forgot how cute and loving you can be sometimes." Johnny embraced you, joined by Jim and Lucas, the drummer who had just entered the room, unaware of the conversation.

"What would I do without you guys?" You chuckled, feeling a sense of belonging, and these guys made it feel like home.

 

—-

 

On Sunday, you began packing your luggage, gathering everything you needed to feel comfortable in the hotel that would serve as your Canadian residence for the coming months.

 

Monday morning, you double-checked everything once again before meeting Jenny at the airport around 2:00 PM to catch your flight, realizing the scale of the project as the entire crew was set to travel on a private flight.

Spotting Jenny amidst a small group at the airport, you recognized familiar faces from the sound department. While conversing with your new colleagues and waiting to check in, you headed to the self-service area for snacks when a familiar voice caught your attention from behind.

"Just make sure not to take the Reese's, Mrs. Coordinator," the voice teased.

"I'm more of an M&M's kind of girl," you retorted playfully. "You can have it all; it’s not like I care... - Pedro," you replied, turning to face him.

"Wow, you can be quite rude sometimes. Has anyone ever told you that?" Pedro seemed taken aback.

"That's just my way of showing affection," you quipped, attempting to break the ice, the joke clear in your mind.

"Like a hedgehog, huh? Got it, Sonic," Pedro replied, retrieving his items. The mention of Sonic brought a smile to your face.

"Sonic?" you questioned.

"Yeah, the hedgehog, Mrs. Coordinator," he continued teasing.

"Please, stop calling me that," you insisted.

"Sonic?" Pedro teased again.

"You're incredibly annoying, has anyone ever told you that?" You fired back.

"A few times, but at least I don’t jump to conclusions about someone else's personality," Pedro responded, a hint of a smile appearing as he took a sip of water.

"What's the matter, dude?" Your feisty side emerged. "I already apologized for that, and now you're going to keep bringing this up every chance you get?" He was right; you can be very rude. "I mean... I'm not... I... 

"Nothing's wrong." Pedro's smile faded. "I thought you'd be okay with a joke about a stupid situation, one that, let's be clear, you created. Yes, I brought it up as a joke for the first and last time… ‘cause it seems we have different senses of humor," he continued earnestly. You found yourself agreeing with him, but you were too proud to give up.

"Alright, maybe we do have different humors. And you were the one who called me rude in the first place." You knew this time you sounded like a neglected child.

"Did I lie?"

"No," you conceded, trying not to sound stubborn. "But since we're going to be working together, perhaps we should try to understand each other better. I was joking about the Reese's incident, you know." You sounded just like your therapist now. “…And”

 

"FINALLY, THERE YOU ARE! May and I have been wandering around like two old ladies looking for their cats," Jenny chimed in, appearing out of nowhere like an angel to save you from yourself.

"Hey Jennifer, how's it going?" Pedro greeted her with a hug that got you thinking. You don’t hug Jenny quite as often as you should. "We were just discussing how we're going to make things work."

"Sure, we were," you muttered, a hint of annoyance in your voice.

"Ah, I see you've already experienced this girl's unique sense of humor," Jenny remarked, trying to lighten the mood. Though her comment irritated you, you knew she meant well.

"Unfortunately, he has, Jen," you replied, attempting to sound nice.

"Jenny, have you ever heard the phrase 'all bark, no bite'? It seems like your friend here fits that bill," Pedro observed with a cynical smile, not in a malicious way but more like a curious mind pondering your next move. Was he provoking you? You got confused...

"I can bite, but only if you ask nicely," you retorted, catching him off guard. His cheeks flushed, Jenny chuckled, and she made her way to the self-service area.

"What happened, ‘Mr. I have an answer to everything’? Cat got your tongue?" You teased him, noting his silence as he processed your response. You started to feel a bit foolish.

"Talking to you is truly a rollercoaster," Pedro remarked, attempting to sound confident, though you noticed his hand twitching. "That's a compliment, Sonic. Before you decide to pounce on me," he added shyly and genuinely. What just happened? Why did you do this to someone who isn’t your usual type? Well, you might be a wooden heart, but certainly you’re not dead. 

"See you around then?" He regained his confidence. "All bark, no bite." 

You were on the verge of responding that you hoped not, but before you could, he approached you and gently patted your shoulder, his hand resting there for a moment. A surge of electricity shot through your body so swiftly that you felt like a supernova had just exploded within you. Startled, you stepped back, fear creeping in. What was happening?

"Hey?" He looked confused. "Are you okay?"

You nodded in affirmation, and he smiled, remarking, "Quick reflexes, huh?” 

This time, you were caught off guard. Physical touch was something you weren’t used to. Your body language resembled that of a feral cat—life had shaped you into this defensive creature. Earth Calling. 

"Haha," you attempted to maintain the cool facade you had two minutes ago, "Isn't speed one of Sonic's powers?"

"I guess it is.”

"Well, are we cool then?" you asked, a hint of confusion in your voice.

"Why wouldn't we be?" he responded. 

"Pedro, we just..."

"It's okay," he reassured, moving closer as you instinctively stepped back, clutching your pack of peanut butter M&M's like a protective talisman. "Hey, it's really okay. You've said what you needed to say, and I've done the same. We're cool." Sensing your anxiety, he urged, "Trust me."

"Okay, I think we should head back.” You said. “Jenny and May are probably feigning indecision over their purchases to make sure we don’t kill ourselves," you suggested, opening your M&M's pack. He observed your delicate movements, ensuring the package remained intact.

"I’m sure of that... Just like how Jenny watches out for you, May prevents me from fucking things up," Pedro remarked with a laugh.

"Two grown adults with their babysitters," you joked, glancing over his shoulder at Jenny and May. You signaled for them to join you and Pedro, as he turned and did the same. 

"Hey, Hi!" May approached you enthusiastically. "I couldn't believe it when Pedro said he'd be working with you! I don't want to sound like a fangirl, but I love your music work! The last score you created was fantastic, and your work with Mended Fragments... I can't wait to see you guys perform live again!"

"Oh, uh, thank you... May," you replied, extending your hand. "I'm truly grateful to hear that,” you said shyly. “I must admit, I still don’t how to act in these situations, but I genuinely appreciate it." Your skin flushed with warmth. “We will play some gigs next year, i can get you some cool spots if you want”

"Really???" She was trying to hide how starstruck she was.

"Wow, enjoy it, May.” Pedro said, “She wasn't this friendly to me when we first met, and I told her I was a fan of her work. The very same day she called me the 'Game of Thrones guy.'" In that final sentence, he glanced at you like a cat poised to knock a cup of water off a table. He was teasing you, and he wanted you to know that.

This time, you didn't take the bait. Instead, you quipped, "You were on a date, Pedro, and my morals weren't the best that night. I'd rather not risk it." You chuckled, while Jenny smirked by his side.

"Come on!" He said it, feigning disappointment. "I thought we were due for another discussion," he glanced at you, "boriiiing."

"Guys, let's go. We have a flight to catch," May interjected, sensing the tension. The four of you made your way to meet the rest of the crew. Taking a seat beside Jenny, you found yourself smiling, and Jenny looked surprised at you.

"It's been a while since I've seen this," she remarked, her expression bright.

"See what?"

"This very one smile," she said, flashing her teeth.

"I'm not—"

"I'm not smiling. I don't feel anything. I'm the ice queen," she cut in, teasingly imitating you. "Everyone, look at how mean and bad I am." She continued…

"I have no idea what you're talking about," you responded, laughing and looking at the surroundings to ensure no one was paying attention.

"If anything happens between you two, you owe me 1000 bucks."

"Make it 2000, because nothing's going to happen. Deal?"

"Deal. I'm thrilled at the thought of being $2000 richer without doing anything."

"Keep dreaming," you retorted, picking up a book to read and acknowledging silently that she kind of had a point.

Fool.

[confusedshades]

"Look I recognise your dramatic need for theatrics, but lord of the flies Hood, you have to actually explain why to the kid before making him choose!" Danny huffed at the red clad man in the warehouse. Robin, for his part, kept working on getting out of the binds they had him in. Currently the two villains were busy arguing in an empty office, but it wouldn't last long. It sort of helped that they thought he was still unconscious.

"Listen Badger, I appreciate you coming with and everything, but this is family business. B had no business putting more kids in the costume I. Died. In. His first protege ran off and got himself a new identity in a new city. I died. You'd think even his thick skull realises he's batting two for two."

"Hood,"

"Also that whole thing with Black Mask and the gang war? What the fuck was that?"

Tim stopped. They, they knew a lot. A lot they shouldn't know. It went beyond identities and relationships. They knew events and were talking as if they knew them. Knew Bruce and Dick and Steph- him. What the fuck. Well. He might as well be productive since he wasn't going to get free anytime soon.

"Hey idiots!" The silence that stretched out after his yell was louder somehow than anything he'd ever heard before. "If you've got a prisoner, you're supposed to keep the marital arguing outside. It's bad form especially since you bashed me on the head."

Before he knew it two figures materialised out of thin air in front of him. Huh. Okay. Either he did have some sort of head trauma (low likelihood) or they had some sort of device (magical or technological) or power of illusions (higher likelihood but he needs more information to decide)

"Sorry Robin but me and my buddy here needed to agree on a plan before he went head bashing again. I'm sure you understand." The man - and his size was definitely closer to Bruce's but he spoke like he was in college? - in black and white cocked his head.

"Yeah definitely appreciate the no future head bashing but the yelling isn't really helping with the headache you two already gave me."

"Again sorry. Anywho, Hood has a choice for you. He's going to let you go after you decide."

Tim frowned looking from one man to the other. There had to be a catch. "Just like that?" He double checked.

The guy in black and white - badger? - held out a hand a waved it side to side. "Kinda. I mean. Yeah you can make your choice and no matter what you decide you can go but there's a condition."

Ok. Back on familiar grounds. Conditions. Yeah Tim could deal with conditions. He'd dealt with conditions his whole life, watched his parents deal with them his whole life too. If there was anything he'd learnt, it was how to work conditions to your favour. "What's the condition? And what happens if I don't choose."

The other guy, the one with the red helmet shifted, (nervous tick? Fidgeting or tired of standing around?) before stilling at some unseen signal. For the first time since these two came in, Hood spoke up. "There's an explanation to the choice you gotta make. You listen to it and make your choice." His mechanical voice reminded Tim of Barbara's. Except hers was designed to be even and clinical. This guy's sounded like a flat growl. Unnerving. "The condition is that no matter what you choose, you don't tell the Bat. Anyone else is okay to tell, but not the Bat."

Tim weighed the variables carefully looking for loopholes or anything but these two didn't seem to care about the obvious hole they'd left in their condition. One one hand he couldn't tell Batman but he could tell Babs or Alfred or even Nightwing and they'd pass on the message. Hell he could write up a report. On the other hand, they seemed confident that he wouldn't want to tell B about this based on whatever explanations they were gonna give. Well. Tim already knew what the best option was and he'd chosen as soon as they'd finished talking but it never hurt to consider things carefully.

"Alright. What's the explanation?"

The two men looked at each other before pulling off their headgear.

2-For-1 Deal

(A prompt)

One boy goes into the Pit.

Two boys come out.

One: the original mindless boy pushed in, not so mindless anymore but now angry, memories regained.

Two: the surprise boy, fully conscious and aware, but confused with memories wiped.

One: the boy they trained for years, already halfway molded into a now enhanced human soldier.

Two: a boy untrained but superpowered, still trainable and moldable into a meta human soldier.

-

This could either be a parallel universe thing where both Danny and Jason are the same person but given completely different lives, so more like identical twins or clones here, which has the following support: both black haired, blue eyed, small kids who survived death at 14/15 and got white hair and grew into massive adults (Dan certainly didn’t have Vlad’s body) (and if I had a nickel…).

Or! DeadOnMain is always fantastic, even platonic can be awesome, or imagine the angst of being compared to each other constantly throughout training (“Even without superpowers, Jason is better than you, Danyal” “You’ll never become better than Danyal and his powers, Jason”), or mix and match! Competitive twins who hate each other, twins who become so deeply entwined they’re inseparable, enemies or friends to lovers, so much room to play in this sandbox of DPxDC fandom 😊

Personally, I like to imagine DeadOnMain in which since Danny has no memories, and therefore no goals, he’ll follow Jason anywhere and help. Either Jason and Danny both get poisoned against Bruce, or Danny could be the one tempering Jason out with questions and poking holes in the stories they’ve been told, things that Jason has been too focused on his anger (or Pit Rage) to notice and figure out himself. Then either they can go back to Gotham on a less violent rampage (but still intending on Joker dying), or they can come back twice as dangerous.

Maybe Danny tempering Jason’s rage keeps from the Titans Tower Incident with Tim, or maybe we go with the universes where Batman is a piece of shit and they try to convince Tim to join them before getting killed like Jason did. I like Tim not being beaten up by Jason, okay? Lots of fun ways to take this. (I have also maybe, possibly gotten hooked on JayTim in general and we can get a poly relationship with all three here, lol.)

[darkromanceenthusiast]

Hi how are you I was wondering if you could do Eyeless jack/masky/hoodie and Toby trying to get the reader pregnant please?

Sure! I wrote these as headcanons, it's mostly SFW with slight NSFW mentions with a small story bit at the end

Contains: mentions of sex, slight breeding kink for some pastas, loving and caring S/Os, mentions of pregnancy, reader is gender-neutral but has female bits (for pregnancy)

Eyeless Jack

When you first bring up having kids he's like absolutely not until he starts thinking about it.

You, his mate, want his babies. That's all it takes for the wheels to start turning in his brain

He is absolutely terrified of getting you pregnant he has no idea if you could even safely have his child with him being a half demon bit he also assures himself it will he fine because he's a doctor

He doesn't mind the process of getting you pregnant at all, it's obviously enjoyable for him

You both will probably try to line up his beat with your ovulation cycle to ensure the best chance of conceiving

Jack most definitely has a breeding kink and more than once he has definitely threatened to knock you up in the heat of the moment but will just ignore the subject when brought up

He loves seeing you pregnant and is a super tending and loving partner, making sure everything you could want and need is there

If you struggle with fertility it's okay, Jack is more than willing to help with treatments and figure out what works, plus there's always adoption in a less legal way

Jack honestly can’t wait, he breaks out some pediatrician books to prepare

Masky

You're lucky this man hasn't already gotten you pregnant

Tim adores the idea of normalcy, with a family and a white picket fence, you having his kids is just the next step towards that

He recognizes that having kids is risky but he's so excited and happy that you're willing to do it that he simply doesn't care he's too happy to care

Tim would insist on ovulation tests and trackers so that way you both can ‘do this right’ because he wants to put in as much effort as possible

He honestly gets so excited about thinking of you having his babies and is so excited to be a dad

Will definitely read all the pregnancy and parenting books to prepare for the baby and will totally deck out the nursery

He will make sure every single craving is met and every discomfort removed he will make sure you have the easiest pregnancy ever

Hoodie

Honestly, your pregnancy was probably an accident with Hoodie and there was no discussion beforehand

He's not opposed to it but he's a lot more careful and calculated, he knows him having a child as a proxy might not be the best decision

He is definitely the kind to go on a camping trip for two weeks with his buddies and then come back ready to be a dad

He most likely just came to accept he wouldn't have kids when it happened too

Once you tell him and he has a chance to decompress he will be elated, he's having a baby with you and you're his favorite person ever

He will definitely be most worried about your and the baby's safety first and foremost

Out of all the creeps, he's the most likely to just go too slender and go “I got her pregnant we’re keeping the baby” which Slender is surprisingly accepting of

Hoodie is super excited to be a dad once it sets in and he realizes it's true

He'll keep track of all your pregnancy symptoms and writes them down in a notebook

Toby

Bold of you to assume there's any trying with Toby

This man could probably get you pregnant if he looked at you the wrong way

The pregnancy was unexpected because the pull out method isn’t always the best but whatever

Once you tell him he’s gonna be a dad he is going to freak the fuck out, will definitely go through a partying phase and overall be not great

Once it really sets in that you’re definitely pregnant, it’s definitely his, and you’re definitely keeping it he’ll get his shit together

He’s very nervous about being a dad for a lot of reasons, he’s worried about his tics and he’s worried he might accidentally hurt the baby because he can’t feel pain

“What if I make the bath water too hot and boil our child?” “Toby, you’re not going to have to do that alone, I’ll check it.”

Toby will get his shit together real fast, he’ll probably show up like two weeks before your due date with Jeff to put together a crib in your shared room

He read in a baby magazine that sleeping with the baby in the bed is not good but having the baby in your room will be beneficial

He is surprisingly loving and doting somehow more than normal when you’re pregnant

[strongsassysexysloane]

Tenth Day of Twelve - A Soft Thoughtful Twist

A/N - I like this one. Maybe I'm just impressed I've kept this going lol

. . . .

This morning you'd found a beautiful knitted scarf twirled up on your desk. It was a beautiful turquoise blue with a shimmer through it. The perfect addition to your winter wardrobe and made the walk between your car and the building considerably more pleasant.

You hadn't taken it off all morning, even in the building, it was too soft and warm to leave it behind. Kasie was instantly jealous of your present when you went to the lab to get an update with Bishop. Next was a ride out to the parents house to get some background and on the way back to the yard you bribed Ellie into stopping at the Diner for a late lunch. It wasn't much of a bribe, to be fair.

"Hi Elaine." You both walked up to the counter, Elaine turned around from wiping down the counter.

"Hi ladies, what can I get your hungry bellies today?" She smiled, slipping her cloth into her apron and stepping up to the register.

"Two coffees, make that three. Gibbs will need bribing once he finds out we've stopped for food."

"Done. He was only in an hour ago but I'm sure he needs a refill." You all chuckled, it was probably his sixth of the day but that stuff didn't effect him like most. It would only make him grumpier if he didn't have his consistent flow of bean juice. "Nice scarf. Where's you get it, hun?"

This brought an instant smile to your face and your hand up to fix it more around your neck. "It was a gift."

"Someone has taste. It suits you beautifully." Elaine hummed while pouring the cups of takeaway coffee. "Now while that helps you two stay awake, what food can I get you?"

You relayed your order. Adding a few extras for the boys just in case they were extra sulky about you bringing food back. Elaine hopped out back to help them move it along while there was a lull in people.

With the extra hand, the food was ready in no time and you were back on the road to the office. Ellie fed you fries on the way while she ate her burger not so gracefully. Motor pool would have words with you one day about eating in the cars but it can't be as bad as some of the suspect's you bring back. You shuddered a the thought.

"Elaine is right you know."

"Never said she wasn't."

"What did Elaine, wait you went to the diner?!" There was the Nick whine you predicted.

Bishop handed him a box. "Here. For your whiney tone." It was his favourite.

"I don't have a- thank you, Bishop."

She shook her head. " Don't look at me." Placing a steaming cup of coffee next to Gibbs left hand. "This was y/ns shout. She had to bribe me to go to the Diner."

Gibbs hummed. "I'm sure it was hard."

Ellie rolled her eyes while the guys snickered. You placed a box of fries on Tim's desk. "All it took was the word Diner and I'm paying."

"So five seconds." Tim added with a thank you nod before munching down a bunch of fries.

Ellie shrugged, skipping over to her desk and sitting. "I only had a bagel for breakfast, packet of chilly crisps for morning tea and a juice on the way to the parents. They were super unhelpful by the way."

"Didn' expect 'em to be. They hadn't spoken to their kid in five years but still needed to check 'em out." Gibbs gulped down what looked like half of his drink.

You all worked to find a lead which was a very long afternoon but the food helped and so did your scarf. There was no appearance from Jack at all until it was going home time for some. She waltzed down the stairs all chipper to be heading home.

Ellie slumped back in her chair. "Look who's the lucky one."

"Got my work done. All reports for Dwayne's case AND the Dinnins case. I need a drink and a shower. Missing the constant party that is NOLA however." She bounced on the balls of her feet, looking from an unhappy Ellie to an unhappy you. "Nothing?"

"Nothing." You shook your head at the lack of leads but raised your head at her mention of NOLA. "You'd go partying after a long day?" You chuckled, you don't know where she got her energy.

"It's a constant party down there. It made me rethink my margarita surf bar retirement idea. Dwayne's bar has a nice vibe to it." She bopped her head along to whatever tune was playing in her head.

"Thought you missed the beach."

"I do. I miss playing more often, watching tv and knitting just doesn't cut it anymore... Might move that retirement plan up a few years." It sounded like she was joking but her eyes told another story. You heard Ellie cough not so subtly but you chose to ignore it.

"Sounds like you've got some thinking to do in that shower." You rolled your eyes at the way that sounded and the smirk that curled Jack's lips while you hand came up to fiddle with your scarf again, was it a nervous tick? Maybe this was why you didn't wear things around your neck, you seemed to fiddle with them alot.

"It's beautiful. Suits you." She commented with a smile, looking down at your scarf and back up at you with sparkling her eyes.

You tried to still the blush but it spread across your cheeks, lifting the scarf a bit to hide one cheek. The move probably made it even more obvious, you could tell by Ellie's not so quiet snicker.

"Thanks, Jack. This person has really great taste."

"And knows you well. Everything they've picked is very personal." Nick budded in and you shot him a glare for his efforts.

"Jimmy says I may have a stalker." You tried to joke it off, to get a reaction out of Jack.

She only swayed her head. "Some may see it that way."

"How do you see it?" Nick again with the prodding, you thought this was Ellie's territory. Hopefully Tim didn't bud in or worse, Gibbs.

"Not a stalker." Gibbs budded in and all eyes went to him. He did nothing, just continued to stare at his computer.

There was silence for a moment before Jack piped up. "Think y/n would've noticed a stalker by now. These gifts aren't creepy or too much. They're thoughtful and sweet."

"No photos with people heads cut out and replaced with others you mean."

"Very specific but yes." Jack confirmed and stepped forward to pick up your photo frame. "That was a fun night. One of my favorites."

"Mine too." You smiled up at her, shifting your scarf around your neck.

"Don't wear it out on your first day." She chuckled, placing the photo back down.

"I won't shower with it if that's what you're meaning." The back and forth was so easy with her.

"Might have to ask for a new one if you do that." She winked before shifting her handbag onto her shoulder more. "And on that lovely note. I'm going home to have a shower. Don't work too late everyone..." She spoke to you all but was staring at Gibbs.

"Night, Jack." You threw over the divider as she walked to the elevator. Ellie was staring at you, waiting for you to comment but you went back to work. The conversation replaying in your head, taking apart every detail. Maybe you were the creepy one but you wanted for it to be her so badly.

Only two more days and you'd hopefully find out.

. . . .

We are almost at the end. I don't know if I'm sad or relieved 😅 I want to read someone else's Christmas Jack stories...

[sylvies-chen]

Welp, I loved your the last response to my ask, so here goes again! You’re totally welcome to ignore or hold off if you’re exhausted or not in the mood... but chenford prompt #2:

“You don't even know me, it's only a feeling

You gotta believe me

Darling, I'm just saying, there ain't no shame in

Admitting you're lonely.”

- “Pieces” by Declan J. Donovan

Thank you, I’m glad you guys are liking these! I’ve gotten a swarm of requests but they’ve been super fun to write for so I’m definitely not complaining lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one, I went for one of my favourite tropes!

//

Lucy knows better than to cross professional boundaries. 

At least she thinks she does until one night when she has to go on an overnight stakeout with Tim. 

In a hotel. 

Normally they just wait for the suspect out in their designated undercover car, drinking coffee to stay awake and alert. But there aren’t any good vantage points from a safe distance and the deal is going down in the hotel anyway, at a time during the weekend that they aren’t yet sure of. It’s an important meeting from some hotshot criminal named Miles Lerner, allegedly happening at the hotel, so Grey sends them there overnight to take pictures and gather intel first during their stakeout before making the bust. 

They arrive at the hotel late into the night, check in under false names, make sure they’re in their plain clothes. The receptionist seems disinterested, hardly looking up from her computer as she asks, “Would you like to book a room?” 

“Yes, please,” Lucy starts but Tim taps her on the shoulder and draws her attention to the hotel room that their suspect is walking into. He gives her a look, which she picks up on and asks in an innocent tone, “Do you possibly have a room down that hallway? I like to stay close to the vending machines, we never pack enough food.” She pats Tim’s shoulder and Tim goes with it. If they’re going to keep their cover, they might as well make it believable. 

“Yeah… babe,” he stutters. He looks nervous as he wraps his arm around her waist and puts on a smile that looks way too forced. Lucy finds it kind of adorable, has to actively stop herself from picturing their life together as a married couple. 

It’s not that she wants to. She doesn’t have feelings for Tim. At least, she doesn’t think she does. But Emmett had broken up with her mere weeks ago and Tim had been there to comfort her. The only logical explanation is that she feels emotional and lonely after a breakup and Tim was the first person she’s seen. She chalks it up to that, tries to brush off whatever residual feelings she thinks might be there, and smiles back at the hotel receptionist. 

“That can be arranged.” The receptionist types into her computer, squints at the screen and then passes them a set of room key cards. “There you go. Your room will be right down that hall, first one on the left.” 

“Thank you,” Lucy smiles. She and Tim make their way to their room, luckily right across from their suspect’s room. 

Tim fidgets with the key, the door only unlocking after the third try. They walk in and throughout all of the beautiful things about the room, the big window, the clean sheets, the cute vintage pictures on the wall, Lucy and Tim’s eyes are both drawn to the one thing they can’t ignore. 

The one bed sitting in the middle of their room. 

“Shit,” Tim curses, “You didn’t think to mention that we needed two beds?” 

“Well, it was a little hard to concentrate with your hand around my waist. How is this even my fault? You were there too, you know.” she whacks his chest with the back of her hand, dropping her bags on the table in their room.

“Okay. Well… I can take the couch then.” 

“No no, I should take it,” she argues sympathetically. “I’m shorter, I have an actual chance of fitting on the couch.” 

“Okay, if you insist,” he caves in after a while. He puts his own bags on the bed, unpacks the duffle bag with their work gear. His phone starts ringing, so he takes the call. Lucy doesn’t know who it is but figures it’s Grey from the fact that Tim uses his professional voice as he works his way through a series of the regular “yes, I understand” and “got it” and “okay, thanks”. He hangs up after a few minutes, turns to Lucy who’s waiting in anticipation. 

“So?” 

“That was Grey,” he explains. “He says there’s new intel saying the drop isn’t happening until tomorrow morning but we have a good view of their room from here so he’s not pulling us out. We can relax for now, get some sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be busy.” 

Lucy nods, looking around the room nervously. Tim goes into the bathroom first to change, and then Lucy goes after him. It’s weird, seeing each other in such casual clothing. Lucy’s pyjamas consist solely of an oversized graphic tee of Jimin from BTS and a pair of shorts that are much shorter than what is considered professional. Tim tosses her one of the blankets from the bed and she spreads it out on the couch, slithering into it as she settles into the couch that has now become her bed. 

“This guy we’re after, Lerner. He’s married, has a wife and kids. You think they know that he’s a major drug dealer?” She asks him from her couch, stares up at the ceiling as he gets into his own bed. 

“I doubt he brings his shady business back home with him but I’m sure his wife suspects something. We tried bringing her in for questioning years ago without telling her why but that just scared this guy off. Went off the radar for months.” 

“Still, it must be nice to have someone worried for you, wondering if you’re going to be there when you get home…” She drifts off, thinks of how nice it would be. Of how much she misses that, how much she wants to find the one. 

“You’re really taking this breakup with Emmett to heart, aren’t you?” He sits up in his bed momentarily, rolls over and props himself up with his elbow to face her while looking at her sympathetically. “Listen, Chen, he didn’t deserve you. You’re… you’re good. And smart. And if he doesn’t see that, then you’re better off without him.” 

“Thanks,” she replies shyly. “It’s not about Emmett, really. I just… Dating is fun, sure. But I want the one, you know? That guy who you feel so lucky just to wake up next to. The smiling like an idiot and the fun banter and the exciting stuff. I want the whole package, you know? It just gets… lonely, sometimes.” She’s still staring up at the ceiling and so is he now, the two of them sitting in silence. “Whatever. It’s just stupid pipe dream,” she brushes it off with a weak laugh, “We should get some sleep.” 

He opens his mouth to say something but shuts it again. “Goodnight, Lucy,” he settles on eventually, his voice low and raspy, soothing to her soul. 

“Goodnight,” she replies in almost a whisper. The word feels so intimate, so sensitive coming out of her lips. And it does while coming out of his mouth well. She doesn’t know what to think of these feelings stirring in her stomach, so she turns the lamp next to the couch and the whole room goes dark as she rests her head against the pillows of the couch. 

An hour later, Lucy’s still awake, and just. 

The pillows are really hard. 

It’s very noticeable, combined with the weird, grainy texture of the fabric and the tacky tassels dangling in her face. She tries to fall asleep, tries to ignore all of the factors contributing to her discomfort. But then, she’s glancing over subtly at Tim’s bed, and just. Ok. She’s not the type of person to be bold and make a move. And that’s not what she’s doing here at all. But it’s a really, really uncomfortable couch, and she just wants to get some shuteye. “Tim? Are you awake?” She whispers quietly in case he isn’t. 

“... Yes,” he mumbles back in the dark. “I can’t fall asleep. Lucy sits up on the couch, sees him staring at the ceiling as he talks and then moving his gaze to her. 

“Me neither,” she replies. Silence falls over the room again. After a moment, Lucy gets up off the couch, tiptoes her way to the bed and leans over the side of the bed that Tim isn’t occupying. 

It’s just a bed, she tells herself. Figures it’s for professional purposes, that she needs sleep to perform at her best. She knows she’s lying to herself, but at this point, she’s too tired and, quite frankly, too lonely to care. 

Tim turns on his side, faces her now and watches her with confusion as she crawls into the bed. “Lucy—”

“Just… shut up, okay?” She pulls the blankets over her, turns on her side so that her back is facing Tim. She leaves a big gap between them, making sure to just focus on getting a good night’s sleep. 

“Okay,” he whispers. Then, as if he purposely tries to put a wrench in Lucy’s plans, Tim closes the gap between them and wraps an arm around her side from behind her. His head is snuggled into the crook of her neck, his breathing slow and steady, and just. Lucy doesn’t even know if she’s breathing, has to remind herself to inhale and exhale. Her heart’s racing fast just from his touch. 

Maybe it’s that she’s lonely. Maybe she’s just that she’s sleep-deprived and out of her mind. She doesn’t know. But as Lucy feels his breathing on her neck and shoulders, melts under his tight, steady embrace, she feels more with him than she had with Emmett, or with Nolan, or with any other guy, really. 

She learns that falling asleep is a lot easier when you’re wrapping up in Tim Bradford’s arms.

[ragnarokhound]

ajfdlskajasl you are so kind to me oh my goddd TTuTT

:D :D :D I'm glad you liked it!! it wouldn't exist without you!!

hehehehe jason 100% deserves a dog, he just needs to read up on them a little :') poor guy never had one or a reason to care about having one. And you KNOW if I was gonna write about Damian in this verse, it would have to include a lecture on proper animal care. Like hell Damian would hear a single word of this and respond with anything short of horror lmao

when i wrote about the dog food i thought of you u_u your tragic experience fueled this fic </3

Jason is THE premier Middle Sibling, and as the second of four kids I relate very much to his simultaneous "how dare you treat me this way" and "fufufu suck it up brat" energy u_u

8) 'true loves kiss' i am a sap and simply cannot resist the classics, gehehe. the way i saw it, tim didn't really know what would reverse the curse either, and he's too cynical to think something like true love's kiss would work, or that Jason would feel that way enough to fit the bill :') but lucky for him, I'M A SHAMELESS ROMANTIC

it is my sworn duty to have jason baby tim at every opportunity; jason wants an excuse to baby and tim wants to be babied, change my mind lmao

GEHEHE in my heart they were both going 'ok can we make this work' for a week or two and being nervous and having secret doubts, but nothing says 'i think we can and should make this work' more to me than telling the important people in your life that you're in a relationship and jason just happens to be an actions > words equal opportunity kind of guy lmao HE SAW AN OPPORTUNITY AND HE TOOK IT

Dick Grayson descends upon his younger successors like a shark smelling blood in the water. it is his solemn duty to create whatever normalcy he can for them, and if that means teasing them mercilessly for normal things like having a boyfriend then by god is he the bitch to do it fufufu

asdlfjasflk i'm so glad you like sit, stay, speak and this verse (there's a verse now i guess lol) :D :D :D <3

the what time stamp from sit, stay, speak 👀👀 i ate that fic up i need to know all extras about it

fjsldkajf Ok. When I wrote those tags this timestamp was PURELY HYPOTHETICAL. BUT WHELP.

Cross-posting it to AO3 too lmao

“Wait, wait, wait. I can’t be hearing this right. You were a dog? For a week?”

Tim sighs. He looks over at Dick before returning to the surveillance clips he’s sorting through.

“Yes.”

“And Jason didn’t know.”

“No.”

“Jason took care of you. For a whole week. Thinking you were just a normal dog. Jason.”

“Yes, Dick,” Tim says, long-suffering. 

And how long he has suffered.

Ever since Babs let it slip to Dick that Tim had been AWOL for a week and could use some help getting his cases in order, he’s been subjected to grilling from everyone. Even Cass texted him, demanding he spill it all. (She sent a single dog emoji, followed by an eyes emoji. Her methods of interrogation are as effective as they are inscrutable.) He’s had to explain the entire thing at least four times now, and it always comes back to the same ribbing questions.

“Wait. So does that mean— you actually ate dog food?” He stares at Tim with wide eyes, equal parts aghast and intrigued.

Tim wishes he were surprised.

“What— yes, Dick, I was a dog. Jason bought dog food and wouldn’t really feed me other stuff. So I ate dog food.”

“What did it taste like?”

“I don’t— like it smells? I don’t know, Dick, dogs have less oral sensory receptors than humans do. It was food. I was hungry. I ate it. It didn’t smell as good as the eggs or bacon did, but—”

“Todd fed you bacon,” Damian interrupts, eyes narrowing. 

Tim glances at him, not sure what to do about the weird note in his voice. 

It’s the first thing Damian’s said about the whole affair other than to roll his eyes and mutter a scathing ‘typical’ under his breath. He couldn’t have projected ‘I don’t care about your incompetencies’  any harder; but he also didn’t leave the room when Dick finally cornered Tim into explaining it all in detail.

And he’s here in the first place, in Tim’s Nest, helping with the mess. So.

“...Yes? A few times.”

Damian’s face twists into a dark scowl. “Tch. Idiot. There’s far too much salt in bacon, was he trying to kill you?”

Tim stares.

“Humans can eat a much wider range of foods than many animals,” Damian sniffs. “Most of what we eat should either be considered a treat or not eaten at all. This is basic. A child would know this.”

Tim doesn’t say anything about getting this unprompted lecture from a teenager.

“If Todd couldn’t be bothered to do even a basic internet search, I loathe to think of that man ever owning a real dog.”

“Who’s getting a real dog?”

Jason comes clomping down the stairs from the apartment with a grocery bag in hand. Tim’s heart does something he didn’t tell it to when he comes into view, holding a pack of Tim’s favorite energy drinks tucked under his arm. Jason doesn’t even drink those. He says they taste like death and chemicals, and he should know. Tim might swoon.

“No one,” Tim says at the same time as Damian says, “Not you.”

Jason frowns. “I could get a real dog, why can’t I get a real dog?”

Damian immediately rounds on Jason. “Please. You’re lucky it was Drake you were caring for and not an actual animal. You would have killed it!”

Jason scoffs as he crosses the walkway to lean casually against Tim’s computer desk. “Oh, come on. No way I would have killed it. Dogs are bouncier than that.”

Damian sputters, before launching into a tirade about proper animal care. Jason smiles serenely, always ready to wind up Damian as Dick looks on, partly amused and partly concerned, and Tim tries to bite down on his snickering. 

Jason sets down the six pack and pulls one off, handing it to Tim. Their fingers brush over the cool, wet metal, and Jason winks at him. Tim nearly fumbles the can.

“Maybe I should get a dog,” Jason muses, interrupting Damian’s rant before he can get started on the importance of socializing. He slants a grin at Tim. “What do you think, Timmy? How would you rate the Jason Todd experience?”

Tim’s thoughts go briefly X-rated before he gets ahold of himself. 

“Zero out of ten,” he says flatly, cracking the tab on his drink. “Would not recommend.”

Jason’s grin turns sharp. It's an expression that clearly says 'that's not what you were saying last night'.

“Oh?”

Tim makes a face at him around the can as he takes a swig. He hopes Jason reads it as ‘shut the fuck up, Dick and Damian are right here’ and not a challenge to see how far he can push it.

Thankfully he’s saved by Dick. First Robin, best Robin.

“You here to help out too?” Dick asks, clearly excited at the idea and trying not to show it, in fear of scaring Jason off.

“Nah,” Jason says, not unkindly. “Just swingin’ by. I had a suspicion that Timbit’s fridge would be about as empty as the last time I saw it.”

Tim squints at his screen, thinking back to lunch and trying to remember if he can defend himself honestly, but he’s pretty sure he just ate a snack bar from the pantry. He doesn’t think he’s so much as looked in the fridge since the morning he turned back into a human. He’d watched Jason make them breakfast from his place seated on the counter; Jason nearly burned the bacon, then blamed Tim for being…distracting.

(He maintains that the spell simply wore off after seven days. Significant numbers are also a thing in magic. Or was it nine days? It doesn’t matter. It was not true love’s kiss. Jason kissed him on the head the night before he changed back, but that doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t.)

Anyway.

Dick and Jason are chatting idly while Damian sulks in his corner. They seem to be comparing notes on Tim— and Damian’s— bad habits, but at least they’ve stopped asking him about the dog thing. Jason’s timing couldn’t have been better.

Gratitude for Jason swells in his chest. Tim watches him with a growing flutter in his stomach, and when Jason glances his way, caught, he smiles at Tim. It’s soft, conspiring. It rivals the moon.

“Alright,” Jason announces. “It’s about time I headed off.” From his corner, Damian grumbles something that sounds like ‘finally’.

“Thanks for coming by, Jay,” Dick says, clasping his arm. “Always good to see you.”

Jason ducks his head. “Yeah, yeah.”

He turns to Tim. “Try not to die of starvation while I’m gone, princess,” Jason says, ruffling Tim’s hair with a heavy hand.

Tim’s cheeks pink up. Princess? He’s about to— protest, surely, but Jason leans down over his chair, leaning in close.

“I’ll see you later?” He asks quietly, looking hopeful, his hand still warm on Tim’s neck. Tim can’t help how shy his answering smile is. In his periphery, Dick’s eyebrows shoot way up, and the tips of Tim’s ears go red-hot.

“Y-Yeah,” he says, super smoothly. “I’ll be here.”

“Good.”

All hope of playing it off to Dick and Damian goes right out the window when Jason leans in and pecks his mouth with a short kiss. And then a not so short kiss. 

Tim untangles his fingers from the lapels of Jason’s jacket reluctantly, opening his eyes in time to see Jason’s pink face and self-satisfied smirk before he’s turning around and hustling back up the stairs to the apartment. Presumably he’s putting the groceries away before going on his own patrol. Dick and Damian stare after him.

Tim can’t even be mad at Jason for dropping that little bomb and then escaping. He’d have done the same if their positions were reversed.

Of course, the second Jason disappears, Dick and Damian whip their heads around to look at Tim with big-eyed stares, one maliciously gleeful, one truly disgusted. Then they start talking over each other. Loudly.

“Timothy Drake-Wayne, explain yourself immediately—”

“I need bleach for my eyes, Drake—” 

Okay. He can be a little mad.

[breesays]

Just Play

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of the amorphous but wonderful toddler things I've wanted to write about is how they find their own joy. It cannot be directed. Cannot be engineered. It isn't algebra, it's discovery and magic.

Des loves bubbles. He can't blow them, his mouth is always too close. Sometimes he can produce a few by force and enthusiasm - fubbles, specifically, as he slashes his tiny arm through the air. What he has discovered is that he's pretty adept at capturing them, though. We both have the tools. Waving the wands to and fro. I blow blow blow. And he run run runs to catch them, lining up his wand just so. Listen, look, learn - this is a moment that is hard to capture in a pin or a blog and yet I'm trying.

There are hacks and tools and lists but a toddler will do as a toddler will do. Last weekend at the Huntington he just wanted to chill next to a low palm. Draw in the dirt a bit. Drink water in the thick grass. And we just followed his lead.

It's such a weird time to be a toddler parent. They so desperately want to make connections while you're just so wary of germs and spittle. They want to hug and hold hands and communicate in their garbled way and you're like "ahhhh, space bubble?" He has a best friend at preschool. It is melting my entire being. They hold hands. I just die. I'm dead. He's a whole miracle and now I can cease to exist.

We get daily reports from the preschool and they have a private IG for the parents that I check religiously on the days Desmond is there. Tim usually picks him up while I'm wrapping up work stuff but usually by the time they pull in the driveway I'm outside like hi hello did you miss me can I read your report wanna play?

One time when I was just starting my hosting duties at LN, I asked a much more successful host friend if she ever got nervous on the job. "Oh no," she said, "I was born for this." Sometimes when I'm playing with Desmond - or reading about parents who have a hard time "playing" with their kids, that's when *I* think "I was born for this." Not necessarily motherhood as an all-encompassing job - but the "get down on their level get into it get your hands/clothes/life dirty" aspect of it, absolutely.

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -George Bernard Shaw

When you're 20-something and people compliment you by saying, "you're going to be a great mom" it's a little paralyzing, especially for someone who isn't in the habit of casually planning more than, oh, 2-3 years ahead. One of the comments I remember most (oh man, I feel like I've told this story before) is when I worked babysitting at 24-Hour Fitness. (I think at the same time I taught TurboKick - the LIVES I'VE LIVED) They had this elaborate, multi-story play structure. Slides, tubes, ball pit - the works. As you might gather, 24-Hr gym goers are not the most regimented types. I didn't have regulars, just a smattering of kids here and there. Sometimes there was only one kid. So on this one day, that was the case. I forget the specifics of our game, but it involved racing through the structure. I don't think it was tag, I think we were timing ourselves. Anyway. After a few rounds I hear a parent bally-hooing. Oops, no one at the desk. I roll up all sweaty, thinking I am going to get in trouble. But her kid follows, all smiles. I said, "Sorry, we were playing." She just beams at me, "You're going to be a great mom."

Alas, that's a compliment you keep quiet in your unattached years.

But I did, and I do, still like to play.

[fyeahcamcountry]

Cam: The Otherside - track by track

(Apple Music)

'...“I was a total idealist,” Cam tells Apple Music. The Nashville country singer, who’s also one of the city’s most sought-after songwriters, says the five years she spent writing her sophomore album were some of the hardest of her life. “I had this Disney idea of how the world worked, and at some point that just...broke.” Tracing a string of major life changes—breaking up with her old label, inking a new contract, marrying her husband, and welcoming her first child—The Otherside reflects a dramatic shift in thinking, or her journey through disillusionment into clear-eyed realism. That evolution unlocked a new side to her sound. “My songs have always pulled from my psychology background, but I had this filter on and didn’t even know it,” she says. “Once I took that off, I could be so much more honest. I could see the world, and myself, for exactly what they were.” Read on as Cam tells us the inside story behind each song.

[[MORE]]

Redwood Tree

“I grew up in the Bay Area with a redwood tree in my backyard, and I did a lot of thinking up there. I wasn’t raised in a specific religion, but the most magical, awe-inspiring experience I can think of is being in the redwoods, feeling so small. It’s like a cathedral in that it reminds you of your place in everything. Fallen redwoods have rings that represent the thousands of years that they lived, and you’re like, ‘Oh, we’re just flies buzzing around.’ We wake up one day shocked to realize our parents are suddenly old. Like, when did my dad's beard get so white? I had watched the movie Arrival around the time we wrote this song, and I loved the idea of time not being linear. The soundtrack has these voices that go ‘Da, da, da, da,’ and we nod to that in the production. I hope time isn't linear. I hope I get more time with my parents.”

The Otherside

“Tim, or Avicii, came to Nashville a few years ago to write for one of his albums, and we were in the studio with Hillary Lindsey and Tyler Johnson. He started playing this piano melody over and over and over again, and I don't smoke cigarettes but when Hillary took a cigarette break, I was like, ‘I'm going, too.’ It was just so intense. He was really stuck on this thing. While we're out on the back porch, she and I came up with an idea for the chorus, and he loved it. But he fiddled with it for hours. He was thinking about cadence, about how we speak, about code-mapping it onto a melody, and about the actual phonetics. Tim never wound up releasing that song, so I was like, ‘Ooh, maybe that means I can.’ Even though it’s such a heavy thing not having him around for the final edits, I did feel this great responsibility to work my ass off to get it right. Because I knew that’s what he would have done.”

Classic

“On the other side of the spectrum, this is one of those songs that just magically fell into place. I went up to New York for a few sessions with Jack Antonoff at Electric Lady Studios, and it was so fun. Creatives tend to beat themselves up a lot, but Jack and I sat there jangling around on this 12-string guitar and writing a song that had this nostalgic Simon & Garfunkel ‘Cecilia’ vibe. It’s about how there are people in your life that outlast everything else—technology, fashion trends, swings in politics, whatever. Nothing's a constant in life, but a few people are. It was inspired by this moment when my husband and I were in Argentina and he found a pack of Lucky Strike cigarettes. He doesn't smoke anymore, but he goes, ‘I’ve got to smoke these because they don't make ‘em like this anymore.’ And then he looks at me and goes, ‘That's a country lyric.’”

Forgetting You

“I was writing with Lori McKenna, Tyler Johnson, and Mitch Rowland, and we’re all pals from working on various projects together. Still, I always get nervous when I go write with Lori, even though she's so humble and chill, because I’m like, ‘Don't embarrass yourself in front of the poet of our generation!’ Which is to say, I knew I needed to bring in something cool. I had this line, ‘I'm getting older/But you never change.’ The song is about holding on to the concept of someone from the past, and measuring everyone up to them even though it’s no longer real. That's why you keep moving forward but they never seem to age.”

Like a Movie

“Before we were married and had a kid, I’d come home from tour and my husband and I would have this tiny bit of quality time together. And the truth is, we’d usually get high and go to Walmart. One day, we were unloading all our groceries and I was like, ‘How did you know it was me? How did you know not to settle for someone earlier or wait for someone else?’ And he just smiled and said, ‘Because when I met you, it was like a movie.’ Now, I can remember when we met. I was a mess. It did not look like a movie. But it was so, so sweet. I wrote with the love junkies—Lori McKenna, Liz Rose, and Hillary Lindsey—and the strings are David Campbell, who’s actually Beck’s dad. Jeff Bhasker wanted a ’50s movie soundtrack vibe with strings that swelled like an orchestra, and David immediately got it. Apple Music did a teaser video for the album, and if you watch it, there should be video footage from that string session.”

Changes

“I usually write all my own music, but this is the first of a couple songs on this album that I didn’t. I guess I feel like it's cheating. I'm supposed to be digging all this personal stuff up and figuring myself out, so taking someone else’s song feels like a shortcut. But I trust Harry [Styles]’s writing. I feel like he tries so hard to be himself in his music, and he doesn't take it lightly. That pursuit resonates with me. The demo had Lori McKenna singing with Harry on background vocals and his whistle, which is still in the track. It was amazing to hear a song that someone else wrote that clicked so much with me personally. It’s about feeling like you’ve outgrown where you're from, and you don't really want to admit that. It’s kind of an uncomfortable thing to say, but I love when things are uncomfortable. That means it’s important.”

Till There's Nothing Left

“This song has steamy sexual energy... Like, ‘I'm giving you my whole heart but also my body and a quickie in the back seat.’ While we were recording my vocals, I was trying to sit back and make it cool and sexy, and I realized I was blushing. I was blushing because society tells us that sexuality is a private thing. If you want to be respected as a woman, if you want to be considered intelligent, you can’t be sexual. But then I was reminded of my grandmother who was raised Baptist on a farm in Saskatchewan. She's the one who gave me the sex talk, unbeknownst to my mother. She said, ‘Sex is like a milkshake. Once you have it, you're always going to want it.’ She was comfortable with her sexuality without it being the main thing about her. So I thought, ‘If a woman born in the 1930s on a farm in Canada can own it, I can own it.”

What Goodbye Means

“A friend of mine was going through a divorce. It was pretty ugly, but he was being so kind. I asked him, ‘How are you being so nice right now? I don't get it.’ And he said, ‘Because she might change her mind.’ I still get goosebumps thinking about it. We've all been there, not quite ready to accept the reality of something, and that's okay. You've got to take it at the rate you can take it. This song has such a classic melody. It’s warm. For some reason it feels like a summer evening in New Mexico to me.”

Diane

“This song is a response to Dolly Parton’s ‘Jolene,’ and man, it really seems to resonate with people. Crowds sing it back to me in this emotional, over-the-top, theatrical way. I suppose most people have had infidelity affect their life one way or another, but it’s hard to watch people you care about go through it. There's so much shame around it that you don't get to talk about what you need or how to heal. And you almost never get to hear the other party’s side. So ‘Diane’ is my moment to role-play, I guess. I'm the other woman and I slept with your husband and I didn't know he was married, but you’ve got to know the truth. Parton's lyrics to the other woman include the word ‘please,’ and that just killed me. She's so humble and human, asking someone to please not take the love of her life away. Immediately, I was like, ‘That's the narrative. That's what is so often left unsaid.’”

Happier for You

“This is the other song that I didn't write, and it’s from Sam Smith and Tyler [Johnson]. Sam and I have a great relationship because I helped write the song ‘Palace’ for their album and then they brought me out on tour. We have a lot of trust. When Lindsay [Marias, Cam’s manager] and I first heard this demo and Sam came in singing, our jaws dropped. The emotion was so raw and honest and real. I love the juxtaposition of saying something very loud and publicly—to the point where it almost feels proud—but actually it’s something that makes you want to curl up in a ball.”

Girl Like Me

“This is the author's note at the end of the book. Natalie Hemby had come over and started playing a verse on the piano, and I was like, ‘Oh god, that is so sad.’ And she's like, ‘It's your story. This is your comeback story.’ It’s funny how sometimes you can’t recognize your own self. Writing this song was uncomfortable but in the best way, trying to pull lyrics out in the chorus (‘They’re going to give up on you/You're going to give up on them’). You can’t just become jaded. You have to push through. It’s a gift to be able to see life for what it is, and to see yourself for who you are. I think anyone who has been through that phase of disillusionment will think, ‘Oh, yeah, tough. But this side is better.’”

[warren-lauren]

Gwilym Lee! Brian May x F!reader

Don't panic! Yes, this has been posted on Wattpad but it's my page that is linked to @i-have-a-wonky-eye-too I fancied writing something different since I've had mega writers block and came up with this little thing. Might turn it into something. I dunno. Let me know...

Fate...

A long drawn out breath left your mouth as you leaned against the phone box as your father lectured you about 'finishing what you started'. What started out as a bollocking for quitting your boring job stacking shelves, turned into 'I'm not mad, just disappointed' lecture after you said you were thinking of changing your studies.

"Dad, can- please, dad, just- Dad. Dad! DAD!" you let out a small scream as you slammed the phone back on the hook repeatedly. "FUCK YOU!" you huffed, kicking the door to the phone box open.

"FUCK!" You spun round at the pain filled cry from behind you to find a tall boy holding his face where, obviously the door you had kicked open, had smacked him.

"Oh, MY GOD! I am so, sorry." you gasped, your eyes wide with fear. He shook his head as he held his hand out that wasn't covering his face.

"No, it's fine... it's not like you, did it on purpose... I hope." he let out a dry chuckle as he moved his hand from his face, turning to look at his reflection in the phone box. The side of his face had a slight pink mark covering it from where it had been hit. Thankfully you hadn't done much damage to his, if you were being honest, quite handsome face.

"No, but still, I just twatted you with a bloody door." you frowned a little, noticing his face was getting redder.

"It's fine." he sighed into the small glass window of the phone box as he looked at his face. "Honestly, I'll be-" Brian's words died in his mouth the moment he laid eyes on you. "I- hmm-" he cleared his throat, trying to get his mouth and brain to work.

"It's getting redder." you began to panic. "Shit! I'm sorry."

"It's fin-"

"It might bruise if you don't put something on it... My flat is just down the road, you can come and put a bag of peas on it... if you like?" you offered a small smile.

"Brian." he suddenly spat surprising you.

"I'm sorry?"

He shook his head as he closed his eyes, mentally scolding himself for letting his brain turn to mush. "My name, it-it's... Brian." he whispered his name, blushing as he nervously ran a hand through his dark hair.

"Oh-" you let out a small giggle; a sound Brian desperately wanted to hear more of. "-of course, why else would you say it. Sorry." you let out a little nervous laugh.

Brian shook his head, a small smile adoring his lips as he thought about the most beautiful sound he'd just heard leave your lips. "It's fine. I just, thought, since you were offering to put your peas on my face, we should, know each others name first." he shrugged, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"Sure... I'm, hmm, Y/N." you giggled. "Nice to meet you." you blushed as you held your hand out to Brian, all of a sudden shy. Brian grinned as he took your hand in his.

"And you."

----------

The peas were long forgotten and completely defrosted by now on your coffee table, as you and Brian faced each other on the sofa, fully engrossed in whatever topic had popped up between the pair of you. The two of you were, somehow, just clicking. At first when the two of you entered your apartment there was a lot of nerves and shyness but after you explained the reason for you kicking the door (and apologising again), the pair of you slowly fell into a comfortable rhythm of chatter.

"We're, uh- hmm, we're actually playing, this weekend. You should, uh- come." Brian smiled at you, a light blush colouring his cheeks.

"Yeah-" you nodded, smiling at him. "-sounds fun.

Brian's face lit up a little. "Great!" he began blushing. "I mean, we're not, brilliant or anything, just, you know-" he shrugged as he ran a hand through his hair. "-three guys, playing after college. Nothing special-"

"Are you kidding? You can play an instrument. That's more than I can do." you smiled at him.

Brian's head fell back as he let out a short laugh. "More than- Y/N, have you not seen your paintings?" he said as he raised his hand and thumbed at the watercolour painting of a sunflower hung on the wall behind him. You blushed a little, lowering your gaze to your hands that were folded on your lap. There was a moments silence between the two of you before Brian sifted in his seat. "I should, hmm, it's late."

You quickly looked over your shoulder to the clock, only just noticing the time. "Oh, God. M'sorry. I hope I haven't kept you from anything?"

"No, not at all. I... I've enjoyed, talking to you, Y/N." Brian smiled, something that once again caused a funny feeling in your stomach.

You bobbed your head as you brushed a strand of your hair back behind your ear. "Yeah, me too, Brian."

"Good."

"Yeah."

Suddenly the shyness and awkwardness from before was back. You cleared your throat before standing up quickly, followed by Brian. The pair of you stared at each other, desperate to say something but not quite having the words, so you just nodded at each other before slowly making your way to your front door.

With a heavy heart you pulled your door open and let Brian walk past. It was strange. You'd only know Brian a handful of hours, yet, you felt so comfortable with him.

"Oh, hang on-" he turned back to face you as he dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out  crumpled up receipt along with a worn down pencil. "I forgot to tell you where we're playing." he let out a chuckle as he wrote down the place. "Here you go." he smiled at you as he handed you the piece of paper. "Hmm, see you there?"

You nodded glancing down at his writing. "Definitely."

Brian's smile grew, nodded as he stepped back from the door. "Great." he nodded again. "Great... Hmm, bye." he raised his hand shyly, a blush filling his cheeks.

"Goodbye, Brian."

With one last smile Brian turned on his heels and left. Once you'd shut the door you let out a deep sigh, letting your forehead fall against the door as you closed your eyes.

What the fuck?

----------

You slowly pushed your way through the crowd as you made your way towards the front. All week you had been looking forward to not only seeing him again but hearing him play the guitar. You'd hoped to have gotten there for the beginning but seemed the paint you had been using for a new painting had grown quite attached to your skin and wouldn't come off, therefore putting you behind getting ready.

A smile broke out on your face as soon as your eyes landed on Brian, until you saw the slight bruising on his face. Your chest tightened as you stared at him, guilt flooding your brain as you thought about what pain he must be in.

If it wasn't for Brian making direct eye contact with you when he looked up, smiling as he did, you probably wouldn't have realised you were staring at him. He sent you a wink, his smile growing as he watched you blush and drop his gaze, too embarrassed to look at him because he'd caught you staring at him. It filled him with an odd feeling, knowing he could make such a pretty little thing act like that. Brian was usually the one like that.

Each song started and ended, surprising you even more the more you heard. Brian sang. Good. Not a lot what with him being back up, but when he did, he was good, great even.

The band said goodbye to everyone, thanking them before they began to leave the stage. A sudden feeling of nerves hit you as you watched Brian remove his guitar, gently placing it down before he turned back and jumped off the stage, his gaze fixed on you in the middle of the moving crowd. He raised his hand in the air slightly as a greeting. "You made it." he smiled down at you.

You nodded biting your lip before you began grinning. "I did."

"Good." he nodded. "I was, hmm, worried.. you weren't, hmm, going to, when, you know-" he began to trip over his word, a little nervous himself.

You shook your head quickly. "Definitely not!" you smiled. "I just had a small paint malfunction that took longer to tidy up, that's all." you blushed slightly.

Brian raised his eyebrows as he quickly worked out what the green smudge was on your chin and the white spray that was in your ear. He began grinning, nodding as reached up and brushed back a strand of hair that had yellow paint covering it. "Ah! That explains why your very colourful tonight then." he winked with a chuckle, making your eyes widened as you grabbed the piece of hair and pulled it in front of you so you could see it, gasping when you saw the paint.

"For fuck sake. I was in the bath for like an hour." you whined.

Brian tried not to think about that as he watched your lips pout, your fingers playing with your hair, your eyes focused on the yellow paint-

"OY! BRI! C'mon, move your shit!" Roger shouted from the stage, clearly pissed the guitarist was taking forever.

Brian rolled his eyes before nodding. "Yeah, just a second." he sighed looking back at you. "Can you give me like, five minutes and then-"

"Brian-" Roger walked up to where the pair of you stood, tapping Brian's arm. "-not that I'm not happy you're about to lose your virginity and all but, band stuff first, yeah?" he winked at you before he walked off laughing.

You bit back your laugh as you saw Brian's face redden. "I'll wait over in that booth whilst you twat him." you winked at him before walking off to where you had said, laughing to yourself when you heard Brian's annoyed voice tell someone to 'shut the fuck up'.

----------

"I'm sorry about tonight, Y/N. I really didn't intend on Roger and Tim to interrupt." Brian sighed as the pair of you walked towards yours. Brian had his hands in his pockets as you had your arm linked with his so neither of you stumbled. You were a tad drunk.

You shook your head with a small laugh. "And tell me, Doctor May-" you missed the way Brian rolled his eyes and grinned as you called him that, a small joke that had built through-out the night. "-what were they interrupting?" you asked, desperate to know if tonight was what you'd been hoping.

"Our date." Brian simply said, nodding. "I hope."

You turned your head so you were looking up at him, smiling as your eyes met. "Funny that. That's what I was hoping." you giggled, almost tripping because you hadn't been paying attention.

Brian laughed loudly as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer. There was a beat of silence between you as the two of you lost yourselves in each other, smiling drunkenly at one another until your eyes flicked up to the sky.

"Will you teach me about the stars, Doctor May?"

Brian nodded slowly as he took a deep breath, his eyes staying on yours that stared up at the night sky. "It might take a few years." he whispered, reaching up to cup to your face, smiling as your eyes met once more. "That okay?"

You nodded biting your lip. "Yes..." you whispered before you leaned in to him.

Your lips softly moulded to his like they were made for one another, sealing your fate with a kiss.

[spooky-muldy]

Emoji Movie Script

Here it is, Spanish version and other languages coming soon:

The world we live in. It's so wondrous, mysterious, even magical. No. No, not that world. I meant this one. The smartphone. Each system and program and app is its own little planet of perfect technology, all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. Look who just sent me a text. Addie McAllister? Must be a mistake. Or a joke. Or a scam. Don't send her your Social Security number. Dude. She's right there. That's our user, Alex. And, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. And, as the pace of life gets faster and faster... Phones down in five. And attention spans get shorter and shorter and... You're probably not even listening to me right now. Who has the time to type out actual words? And that's where we come in, the most important invention in the history of communication... Emojis. That's my home. Textopolis. Here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. The Christmas Tree just has to stand there all festive. Merry Christmas. It's still September, Tim. The Princesses... I am so pretty. They just got to wear their crowns and keep their hair combed. You guys, we are so pretty. Devil, Poop, Thumbs Up. They just show up, and they're good to go. But for the faces, the pressure is on. Crier always has to cry, even if he's just won the lottery. Hooray! I'm a billionaire! The Laugher is always laughing, even if he's just broken his arm. I can see the bone! Now, me, I'm a Meh. So I got to be totally over it all the time, you know, like, "Meh, who cares?" Which is not as easy as it sounds. Morning, Mrs. D. I see you have the little minis with you. They're so cute. That is so adorable, I can't take it! Now I'll never get them to sleep. Stick to your one face, weirdo. No! No! It's hard to always act blase, when living in Textopolis is just so exciting. Hello, good simians. Those are some sharp attaches. Yes, well, we have business to attend to. What kind of business? Monkey business. I sounded British! Meh. That was really good. Meh. Meh. That was a great... -Whatcha doing there, mate? -Practicing. Today is my first day on the phone. Boy. I'm gonna be so meh. What are you gonna do? Me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! Here's my sauce now. G'day, mate. Hey. Konnichiwa. Sorry, emoticons! I hate knocking over the elderly. Here, let me help, let me help. My colon! Is that the time? Hey, my eyes are up here, pal. Yeah! All right! Right on time. So, last week, Alex sends me next to this guy. That kid! Where does he get this stuff? Why are you laughing, freak? Now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. Gene, please tell me you weren't laughing just now. In public. He was. I remember. Let's go somewhere more private. I have some bad news, Gene. And I'm afraid you'll have the wrong reaction. Okay. What's the wrong reaction? Anything other than "meh." Come on. I don't want to be late. I'm not letting you go to work today. Wait, what? You're just not ready, son. Come on! Working in the cube is an emoji's whole purpose in life. Everybody my age is working on the phone except for me. Sweetie, that's not true. Yeah! I'm gonna work on the phone, and I'm only 10. That's because I believe in you. Should we wash our hands? No, no, no. We're number two! We're number two! We're number two! See? I... I know I'm different, okay? But when I need to, I can be meh. I just... I want to be a working emoji, you know, like... Like everybody else, and then... Then I would finally fit in, you know? You fit in, honey. No, I don't, Mom. I never have. But I can change all that if you'd just let me. Just give me a chance. But what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? No, Dad, I'll make the right face. Look. Meh... You're so handsome when you make that face. I think he's ready, Mel. Meh. Come on, Dad. Let me prove it to you. If you really think you're ready. I am! Yes! Yes. I promise, I won't let you down. Stop. Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you. It's really her. Pizza! Hey! Your first day on the job. Hi. Hi. Don't be nervous. I won't bite. Hi. I'm Smiler. Don't touch me. Hi! Okay. I mean, hey. As you know, I'm Smiler. I am the system supervisor here because I was the original emoji. Here's how it works. It's nothing fancy. Wait a minute. It's really fancy! You each have your own cube on the emoji bar. If Alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up. It's showtime. The scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to Alex's text box. And let me tell you, guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. You're gonna love it. Really. Now, over here is the favorites section where you'll find all the most popular emojis. And, of course, you'll find my cube here. You are smooth. Just doing my duty. What? What did I say? Rocket looking to party. Come on, tell me you aren't just a little bit tempted. Steven, for the last time, I don't want to buy a time-share. Come on, man, it's Hi-5. You know me, I'm a favorite. Alex hasn't picked you in weeks. And if he stops picking you, you're no longer a favorite. It's got to be some sort of mistake. I mean, look at me, I'm an attractive hand giving a high five. Fist Bump. Come on in. Hey. Fist Bump? He's a knucklehead. Literally. Look at him. I can look like that. Cramp. Huge mistake. Help. Help me. Help up the hand. There you go. Thanks, mate. Hey, little Meh, how about you create a distraction, and then I'll just slip under the rope? Is someone lost? Smiler, hi. Just leaving. Yeah, you know, just killing time before I go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can't even see me anymore! You may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place in the cube. Yeah, in the nosebleeds. I'm standing right here. Words hurt. The most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself. Blah. I was made to be happy, so I am always smiling. Places, please. Emojis to your cubes. Attention. We've got incoming. Got to be meh. Got to be meh. My gosh, my own cube. I can't believe it. I could put a plant over here. And over here could go an inspirational calendar. Okay. Got to be meh. Got to be meh. Look at our son down there. I'm just beaming with pride. You don't think he'll actually get picked, do you? Hie-ro-gly-phics. Hieroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. Does that remind anyone of anything? Hello? A language of pictures. Anyone? Early hieroglyphs date back as far as 3,300... I got to reply to Addie's text. What should I write? Nothing. Words aren't cool. Okay. Be cool. Be cool. All right, Alex is not sure how he wants to play this. I would really love it to be me. Beam me up! Beam me up! I need Thumbs Up on standby. Yeah! Thumbs Up is going in! Wait! Alex is changing his mind. He's moving. Okay. Looks like it's gonna be Meh. I'm so nervous, I could almost shrug. We are go for Meh. Initiating scan. Okay. You can do this. I can't do this! I can't do it! What is this? Stop the scan! I can't! It's too late! Meh, meh, meh, meh. My goodness, I'm freaking out! What's he doing? He's making the wrong face! Good for him! Little... Wait, what? Be meh! Be meh! Be meh! Abort! Abort! Shut it down! Shut it down! What is that emoji? Wrong emoji sent! Evacuate the Meh cube! Evacuate the cube! I got to get out of here. Get that bozo out of there! I'm trying! No! My God. The humanity. Medic. Sorry, everybody. That was not what I meant to do. I kinda... I kinda panicked. Are you even a Meh at all? Course he is. He's my spitting image. If you have expressions other than meh, what you are is a malfunction. Malfunction? No! I can be meh. Just give me one more chance. That's not gonna happen. You know what would be really fun? A board meeting. Where we could figure out what to do with you! I knew there was something wrong with him. A malfunction? What's gonna happen to him? He can't work on the phone. What would Alex think? What do his parents think? I just wanted to be useful, you know? Fit in. Now everybody thinks I'm a malfunction. I am a malfunction. Even if you are a malfunction, Gene, your mom and dad still love ya. I knew you weren't ready. Let's get you out of here and take you home. One day, all this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. Until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. Wait. You want to hide me away? You're embarrassed of me. It's for your own safety. We're trying to protect you, son. Gene? Where are you going? I'm not gonna run away from this. I'm an emoji, and even though I'm not sure exactly which one, I've got to have some sort of purpose here. I know it. Gene, no. Sweetie, please. Boy. A malfunction... Order! Order! The motion is carried. So, how'd it go, Gavel? Hey, Light Bulb, tell me what's going on in there. What? Poop, what is it? Tell me, turd. Tell me true. What happened? I know it was an accident. We all have accidents. You're so soft, Poop. Not too soft, I hope. Gene! We were just gonna come looking for you. Why don't you come inside the boardroom, and we can have a teeny, weeny chat. Um, I came up here to defend myself, but you seem pretty happy. So, good news? Right. I'm always happy. Right. Hashtag truth. Well, the only thing that could ever make me unhappy is if one of our emoji team made a mistake, which caused Alex to lose faith in the phone. And then our whole world gets wiped out. Smiler, I double-pinky-swear promise to you that I will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. We know you won't, Gene. We know you won't. You know, the first time you said it, it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and then, that was weird. That's because we're setting you up with our best Anti-Virus Bots. So, they'll like... They'll just... They're gonna fix me? Actually, delete you. But yes! If you get deleted, you don't have to worry about what your purpose is or the future or why you're such a malfunction. 'Cause you're deleted, right? All right, good talk. Bots! No! Don't let him escape! Party time! Wait a minute... The air is better here. Beer, Tea. I'm Coffee! Sorry. Sheesh. So edgy. My old cube. Take a hike, Mike. -My name's not Mike. -What? There's AV Bots coming! For me? Just because I'm in the wrong section? Holy deleto! What do we do? Quick! This way! Let's go. Don't tell anyone you're about to see this. They'll never find us down here. Where are we? The basement? No. Welcome to the Loser Lounge, where the emojis who never get used hang out. Go fish, Fish Cake With Swirl. Sweep so you won't cry. Sweep so you won't cry. Sweep so you won't cry. I almost got deleted. Me, Hi-5. Hey. What's up, Hi-5? They weren't trying to delete you. They were trying to delete me. You? What's so important about you they'd send out an entire team of Bots? They say I'm a malfunction. You bringing malfunctions in here now, Hi-5? For crying out loud, Abandoned Luggage, that had better not be my leftover Chinese food. What Chinese food? Do you have any idea what it's like to be living large, hashtag blessed, the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? Here, will you hit my calluses for me? At least you're a working emoji. That's all I ever wanted. Well, if that's all it'll take for you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. It's not that complicated. Where would I find a hacker? In the Piracy app. Duh. Who took my clear nail polish? Piracy app? To get there, I mean, I'd have to leave Textopolis. So? I've done it. Would you be a brother? One of the Princess emojis left the phone altogether. Now she lives on the cloud. That is good. I'm sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name's Jailbreak. Jailbreak? That's great! Reprogrammed. I just need to be reprogrammed, and then, I can finally be the Meh I was meh to be. Help me find that hacker, Hi-5. Will you? Please? Maybe this hacker could help you, too. Like rewrite some code, get you into the favorites section. Wait a minute. I've been trying to use my charisma and sense of entitlement to get me back on top, but all I need is a hacker. Today's your lucky day. Let's roll. Hey, can I come, too? Talk to the hand, Red Wagon. I thought I was. Bye, Felicia. Ciao, Fish Cake with Swirl. Daddy's heading back to the VIPs where he belongs! Wait. What about the Bots? Good point. Good point. Ouch! Hey. I shouldn't have picked the cactus. I just... I shouldn't have picked it. You didn't even try to get the tree. It's baffling. Let's go. Hi-5? Hello? Hi-5? Where are you? I'm right here! Gene! Here we are, end of the text app. No way. Come on, Gene. It's perfectly safe. Gene, help me! The wallpaper monster's got me! No! Hold on, hold on! Hi-5! No. This is all my fault! I'm so sorry, Hi-5! I'm... I'm just messing with you. It's one of those rubber finger-monster puppets from the '80s. I collected the whole set. All right, you coming? What do I do? What do you mean? Just take a step through the other side. This is it. The next time I come back here, I'll be a real Meh. Hi-5? No! Are you finished? Where are we? Welcome to the Wallpaper. This place is incredible. Each app is its own unique world. That's my face. You're on my... Thank you. What is this place? WeChat. It's like a whole other world. It is. What are they? They're Bubble Pups. They might be cute, but, man, are they clingy. Whee! They're stickers, Gene. Try to get with the program. This is so cool. Wait. What's in that one? -Guys, look at this picture. -Look at my baby. This is what I ate for breakfast. -This is what I ate for lunch! -Here's me on a hike! Here's me in the gym! Here's me in the bathroom! Everybody's talking about themselves. How does he know so many people? None of these people know him, but they like him, and that's what matters in this life, popularity. I... I think I'd... I think I'd rather just have a real friend. A real friend? How's that gonna get you anywhere? What you need are fans. They give you complete and unrelenting support. As long as you're on top. Poor Gene. I blame myself. I blame you, too. I just wanted to be supportive. You just wanted a vacation. You take that back, Mel Meh. Bots. If they haven't found Gene by now, he must have skipped town. You mean the Wallpaper? Our boy's on the run. How about we find him ourselves? Yeah, for sure. Tell all Bots to follow those Mehs. I'm sure they'll know all the freaky-deaky apps Gene will hide out in. I'm really good at making plans, you guys. Right? Here we are. The Piracy app. This is where we'll find Jailbreak. Um... But this is the Dictionary. That's just what Alex wants his parents to think. This is called a skin. Really? What could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? Just try to keep up. This place can get a little rough. Ahoy, mateys. Look who's back! Hi-5! I'm a bit of a celebrity here. Always welcome.! Loser! Come on. Follow me. Great. Emojis. I thought the conversation just got dumber. Internet trolls. Just ignore them. Eventually, they'll get a job or a girlfriend or some sort of purpose in life, and they'll stop. Virus. We'll just... We'll just walk over this way. Hi! It's so great to see you again. Do I know you? It's Spam. Just sign here and I can get you special discounts on vitamins and credit card offers that can save you up to 25%. No, no, no, don't get sucked in. Back off, Spam! It's the only way to deal... Back off! Thank you very much! You can illegally download our CD right here. Hey, Trojan Horse. How are you? Yeah, what'll it be, hand? I'll have a bottle of "Hack Daniel's." Maybe with a plate of cheese and hackers? You trying to find a hacker? You can just ask, you know. Sorry. Um, yes. We're looking for a hacker named Jailbreak. I know a guy that can hook you up. Right over there. He looks capable. No, not him. Her. Wait. He's a she? Hey, Jailbreak. Mind if we join you? Yes. That's the thing about the Internet, isn't it? You can never tell if someone's being ironic or sincere. I sincerely, unironically want you to go away. That's a good one. So, here's the thing. My friend Gene here has a little problem. Well, see, I'm supposed to be a Meh, but I don't really feel... Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's good. And we thought you could help, since you got the Princess, you know, off the phone. Not interested. Hold up. That's not a Meh face. Bots! They're after me! How are you doing that? Look, it's just something I can do. Can you help us? Follow me. Bots! Delete my history! I corrupted the entire hard drive. I made the most delicious cinnamon buns. Maybe if there was something to, you know, jog my memory. Come on! Move! Hey, Trolls, why is that mailbox wearing a tuxedo? Hi! It's so great to see you again! Call me! This tunnel will get us out of here. Move! Did that cloud taste sweet to you?! Help me! Help! I'm stuck! Sweet motherboard! Where am I? Get me out of here. Hey, Palm Face. Try getting him out the top! Already on it! Hold tight, Gene. This feels very odd, and it smells. I mean, it smells good, it smells delicious, but I still don't like it. The game obviously thinks you're a candy, even though you're weirdly misshapen, you know? What are we gonna do? Stay very still. Don't worry. We've got your back. Right, Hi-5? Hey, Fingers! You want to focus? For your information, I happen to have a sugar addiction, and it's a very serious... Listen, Finger Head! We have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up. I don't want to blow up. We have to match up the candies, so that Gene will drop to the bottom. And we can't match him with any yellows, or else... Don't do that. Please don't do that. Watch. Match three in a row. Don't blow Gene up. Got it. And we have to be very careful. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Careful. -Candy! Watch it! Hey! No! No, no, no! Slow down. Not the yellows! Not the yellows. I said careful! My mom just joined Facebook. Can you believe she wanted to friend me? Hey, Addie, I was just wondering if you are... Tasty. What? Um... Excuse me? Sweet. Hey, Addie! Hi, Nikki. See you later, Alex. Sugar Crush. So over this. Wireless Wireless. How may I help you? I'd like to make an appointment. It's like this phone is playing games with me. Hey, what does this do? No! Get me out of here! No! Stop it! Stop, stop! It's not working. Well, there's one option left. We line you up with the yellows. But you said not to do that. Special candies get transported to that jar. The game might think you're a special candy. And what if it doesn't think I'm a special candy? Well... Jailbreak, hello? Hello, Jailbreak? Sorry. What if it doesn't think I'm a special candy? I'm not too worried about it. Okay, just do it. Gene! Gene? Hey. No! Gene! You're alive! You were trying to see if I had somehow turned into candy, weren't you? Yes, I was. And you have not. Hey. Looks like something popped up on Alex's calendar. I'm sure it's nothing. Alex made an appointment at the phone store. No! Calm down, everyone! Calm down. Don't worry. Everything is fine. Maybe Alex just wants to buy some accessories. His appointment is with technical support. Well, I'm sure we still have plenty of time to figure this out. His appointment is for tomorrow. Then maybe it's just for some routine maintenance. Actually, it's to erase the phone. Listen, Gene, I'm about to become your knight in shining armor. You are? Yeah. But first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. That's where we'll find the source code to reprogram you. The cloud? Isn't that off the phone? Ding, ding, ding, ding. You got it. Yeah, the cloud. Off the phone. We're in Candy Crush, obvs. I know a shortcut to Just Dance, which is right next to Dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. Of course. Just Dance, then boogie over to Dropbox, catch the link, and zoom. Hold up. Here's the stinker. Before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this firewall. The firewall uses face identification. Yeah, the firewall. Which is really annoying, because I've already tried to get through. Guessed wrong once, and now I'm locked out for life. Locked out for life? You're thinking, 'cause I can make different faces, the firewall will think I'm different emojis. Yeah. I wanted to say it 'cause it was my idea. You know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. You know what... Well, then let's hit the road. Hi-5, you coming? I'm coming! Why do I always think I'm gonna come around on black licorice? My precious. Hey! Move it! Certain death, here we come. Let's try this one. YouTube? What a visual treat. And I don't even need a remote. That guy is so expressive. He reminds me of Gene. Yeah. Something really wrong with him. Our son is a malfunction, and you should never have let him go into that cube. Don't blame me for this, Mel. I am hopping mad at you. See? Mary, I think we're being followed. But don't overreact. I told you not to overreact. What are you doing now? They'll be in there for hours. Mary, where are you going? I think we should go our separate ways, Mel. I thought I knew the Meh that I married, but maybe I don't. But, Mary... This tunnel will help us avoid the Bots. Thanks for helping us. It's really nice of you. NBD, dude. The truth is, you're helping me. Come on, let's move it. Why so slow? Hi-5, stop. Why are you getting so close? What's with you? Back off. Can't stop now. I'm having a sugar rush! I'll go around you. If I stop moving, my heart's gonna explode! Coming through, Jailbreak! Look out! Hey! Watch it, Knuckle Butt! I can't feel my face. So, Jailbreak, back there you said I'm helping you. I've been trying to get past that firewall for months. Come on, come on! The faster we get there, the faster I become a favorite! Look at me! I just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud. What just happened? You don't like it here? There's so many rules here. What is up with that? The cloud is supposed to be amazing. There's so much to see and do. Sugar crash. I can't hold on anymore. Catch me, Gene. Catch me! And you can be whoever you want. Thanks. You're free! Come on! My gosh, my hands are sweating. You are a hand! Yeah! You know, come to think of it, I don't really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. Um, you know, you're taking up too much of my brain space. Let's keep the chitchat to a minimum. Someone likes you. What are you talking about? This is just like when Peace Sign gave me just one finger. I knew she was in love with me. Let's go! I'm never eating another piece of candy ever again. Hi-5, don't do it. Don't you do it. It's already been in there once. Don't do it. Are my fingers getting fat? I'll tell you what, this bandage wasn't so tight before. Okay. We get through this app, and Dropbox is right on the other side. We just need to keep it super DL in here. And no matter what, we can't turn it on. OMG, this turned it on! What? I'm a hand. It's a big, red button. What's happening? No, no, no, no, no! Welcome to Just Dance! Follow my moves and you get to move forward. Do the wrong moves and you get an "X." Three strikes and you're out. Out? What does she mean by "Out"? Digital death. Thanks to you, Fingers. Now we're gonna have to dance our way out. Which is all right with me, 'cause I can shake it like Michael. Or Michael's glove, anyway. Are you ready to dance? This is bad, Gene. I can't dance. I got no groove. Come on. Everybody can dance. Not me, okay? I'm really stiff. See? I can't... Don't understand. Okay. No, no... Stop, stop. She has to stop. I see now what you are saying. Just follow her moves. Ready to dance in three... This I can't do. Two... Dude... Just shut up and... Dance! It's too easy! Hee-hee! Shamone! Jailbreak! I got you. Look. Just feel the music. Express yourself. Through dance? Yeah, you got it! Go, girl! Now throw some sauce on that dance burrito. I'm doing it! I'm fully nailing this dance! You got it! Great job! You're moving on to free dance! Impress us with your moves to move forward. More dancing? You're killing it, Gene! Slay! Nice! Shake it, Gene. You won't break it. Wait a minute! I've never seen that dance before. What's it called? Um... The Emoji Pop? I love it! What? You do? Everybody, do the Emoji Pop! Hoo! Yes! Princess. You're the Princess emoji? You never got off the phone. Welcome, new players! What? Who? No! We got to go. Don't worry. They're robots. They can't dance. Downloading funk protocol. "Can't dance," he says. Move! Congratulations. You're a disco diva. Hey, Alex, you gonna dance for us? Alex, that's extra homework for you. Hey, Alex, you gonna shake it? No! No, no, no, no, no, no! Alex must be deleting the app. Watch out! We got to get out of here. Come on! This song is my jam. Hi-5, come on! Let's go! Hurry! Hi-5! Gene! I got you! Gene... Hi-5! Gene. Hey, wait. Where's Hi-5? Alex trashed the app. And Hi-5 right along with it. Wait, what? Wait, trashed? Hi-5 is in the trash? He wanted to dance. But I knew it was a bad idea. We got to get him out of there. Gene, Dropbox is right here. That's our ticket to the cloud. And the trash is on the other side of the phone. We don't know how many other Bots are out there. I'm sorry. No way. We can't go without Hi-5. I don't care how far away it is. That's my friend down there. I'm not just gonna leave him to get deleted. What? What is it? I've always just thought you got to look out for number one. Well, what good is it to be number one if there aren't any other numbers? Okay. I'm sorry. This is my malfunction. I just... I can't be meh about anything. This is why I'm going to get reprogrammed. Well, it's actually kind of cool. Wait, really? You know, I think I know a shortcut. We can take the music streams in Spotify. Let's go give that big hand a hand. Come on. Alex trashed the Just Dance app, and our Bots are offline, and it's giving me a real headache. I am so angry. I really need to stay happy. Can we please lighten the mood? No one can resist una fiesta! Not that happy. We've only got four hours before Alex's phone appointment. If they find a malfunction on the phone, we are all gonna be wiped. Yeah. She said, "Wiped." Aim higher, Steven. I didn't want to have to do this, but it is fun to press buttons. The illegal upgrade. Now that makes me happy. I just want to dance. Dance, please. Arr! Quiet, you sassy gypsy. Where am I? Hi! It's so great to see you again! You're in the trash, Fingers for Brains. Get away from me, Troll. Hi! It's so great to see you again! I got to get out of here. You can't. And at the end of the day, the trash gets emptied, and we're all gonna die! No. No, no! This is the last face you will ever see. No! This is Spotify? Yep. Every one of those streams is a different song. Is it safe? Yeah! Are you sure this is a good idea? Fastest way to the trash, dude! Could we at least pick a calmer stream? Okay, buzzkill. Alex. A bunch of people are hitting the promenade. I think Addie might be there, too. That's perfect! I have an appointment down there, anyway. I've got to get this phone fixed. Hey, bubble butt. Yeah, you do. Much better. So, I got to ask. Is it true that when a princess whistles, birds fly down from the skies, and... Hello, stereotype. That is a complete and total myth. I'm sorry. Did you realize that on the first emoji set, a woman can either be a princess or a bride? That's why I need to get to the cloud, where you can be whoever you want to be. Get ready. Whale song coming. -Wait, wait. Whale what? -A whale song. From Alex's biology presentation. You're not gonna see that sitting around in a cube. It's funny. You want out of the cube, and I want in. Gene, if that means you can't be yourself, what's the point? You know, I think you're pretty cool just the way you are. We're gonna need this. In the trash? Me? I used to be somebody. Here I am. Look. In an old e-mail Alex never sent. "Addie, blah, blah, blah, blah, bla-la-la-la." And then there's me, Hi-5, right there, doing my job. FYI, nobody cares about you. Just leave me, Troll, and let me die in this dump alone. Let me look for the world's smallest violin in here, so you can play it. It's the Hand Angel of Mercy. She's finally come for me. Give me your hand! I mean, give me yourself. Take my hand, angel. I'm ready to take my place amongst the other great hands of the past. It's me, Gene! Gene? I got him! Take me with you. Hi-5! Let go of me. Don't leave me down here! You were wrong, Troll. People do care about me. And I'm not upset, Troll. Do you see how not upset I am? Gene, you came back for me. You saved me. It wasn't just me. Jailbreak helped, too. And she's a hugger. Give her a squeeze. No, no, no. There really is nothing greater than the feeling of being truly free. You filthy trolls, I inhaled your stench, but I was once one of you, so I, too, feel your pain. Now go. Be free! Should be smooth sailing from here. Gene. Gene. Gene? Are you Instagramming? Where is my Gene? Mary. You've really done it this time. No, you haven't. Mel? What are you doing in Alex's trip to France album? I was looking for you. None of this is your fault, Mary. It's mine. What do you mean? Is that a tear on your cheek? It's my fault Gene is the way he is. I have other expressions, too. I think they've just been buried away. But with Gene going missing and thinking I might have lost you, too... Mel. Why didn't you tell me? I didn't know myself. Right now, I'm so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you. Mary, my love for you burns with the intensity of a red-hot flame. I like that, Mel. Let's go find our son. Together. We'll always have Paris, Mary. So, you're a princess. I saw your little tiara. Very fancy. Is it true when a princess whistles, birds fly down from... That's what I said! No, guys! That's a stupid myth! What software version are we living in? Go read an e-book. Educate yourselves. Just look behind you. What the... What is that? Smiler must have upgraded her Bots. Let's get out of here before it... Hi, Gene. Remember me? Smiler. I'm coming to you live from the amphitheater. Why don't you come back to Textopolis and we can talk through our differences, okay? My friend here will escort you, all right? I'm gonna see you soon, buddy. Bye, now. We're actually gonna delete him in front of everyone. Psst! It's still on! It's still what? Jiminy Sassafras! Move! Separate! Tangle him up! Jailbreak! Gene! This way! It's still after me! Let's go. We have to make it to Dropbox. Yes! No! Go low! Don't worry. It can't get in. It's illegal malware, and this app is secure. Come on. Welcome to Dropbox. You are about to leave the phone. Remain seated, please. You might want to hang on. Why do they call this Dropbox, anyway? This is why! I see that now! Yeah! I think we're about to see that candy corn again! We made it. Hoo! Guys, guys, chill. We still have to get past that. Holy... Yeah. Hello. Welcome to the firewall. How may I help you? All right, here goes. What do I do? Sit in the corner and don't say a word. Keep those sausage fingers to yourself. Yes, Your Majesty Princess of Nightmares! Now, Gene, step onto the password icon, and I'll feed you the passwords. Okay. Okay. 10-11-2002. 10-11-2002. Access denied. Okay, try a different expression. Is it gonna blast me every time I mess up? Yeah, kinda. What do you mean, "Kinda"? Ready? Welcome to the firewall. His favorite food. Chimichangas. Chimichangas? Access denied. This might take a while. Boy. Krav Maga. Krav Maga. Major Lazer. Major Lazer. Abuela Dora! Skate or die. Access denied. Denied. I don't get it. We've tried all the important things in Alex's life. His favorite pet, sport, his favorite grandma. I'm sorry, Gene. I let us all down. You know, if I had to come up with a password, I'd probably use the name of a girl I liked. I've been all over the phone. He's never mentioned a girl. Yes, he has. Hi. When I was in the trash, I read a very interesting e-mail, but I'm just the dunce in the corner, forbidden to speak. What e-mail? Sorry, what? What e-mail? To a girl at school. He was declaring his feelings of love for her. I guess instead of sending it, he tossed it in the trash. Hi-5, this is very important. What is her name? Her name, yes. Excellent question. It was Tina. Karen. Marge. Lindsey. Alison. Sarah or Lupita. I want to say Lupita, but that doesn't feel right now I'm saying it out loud. Jennifer. Got to find that e-mail. Phillipa. I think I can access the trash. Annabelle. -I got it! Addie! -Yes! Yes! That's it! Addie! I knew I'd get there. "Dear Addie, you and I, we're like diamonds in the sky. "You're a shooting star I see, "a vision of ecstasy. "Shine bright like a diamond." And he used a high five, see? I guess now we know why he trashed it. Shade. Guys, should we try this? Addie. Access granted. Snap. This place is amazing. The cloud. I can't believe it. One little emoji could sure get lost in a place like this. I guess we should make you a Meh before that Bot comes back? So, we're gonna... We're gonna do that now? We had a deal. Right? Yeah, okay. Right. I, guess I'll start hacking. We did it, Gene. All our dreams are coming true. I'll be an Alex favorite again, and you'll be a real Meh. Yeah! Yeah, but this all seems kind of super-fast now, though. Doesn't it? Hi-5, I just didn't expect to be having these feelings right now. Well, maybe you should go and express them while you still can. So, I've been... I mean, um... Ever since we... Jailbreak, you're the coolest, most interesting emoji I've ever met. And after all the adventures that we had, I'm just not sure I want all that to go away, because my feelings right now are, like, huge. I just think that they could be enough for me to want to stay the way I am. If it means I could stay here with you. Like, forever. Forever and ever and ever. Maybe longer than that even. Like in the fairy tales. Like, what is "? Is that a good "? Gene, if this is about you deciding not to be meh, then I am all about that. I like you just the way you are. But I had a plan. Right. I'm not just some princess, Gene, waiting for my prince. I mean, what you said was beautiful, but... Gene. You're all meh. The source code worked! Turns out I didn't need it. For the first time in my life, meh is all I feel. No! Gene! Hi. I have an appointment. I'm a little early. No problem. I can take you right now. Jailbreak! Don't do that! That freaky huge Bot has got Gene back inside the phone. What? He left looking more meh than the meh-est meh face I've ever seen. What did you say to him? It's what I didn't say. We've got to go get him. How are we gonna get in there in time before he gets deleted? I can't believe I'm doing this. You tell anyone you saw this, and I'll crack more than those knuckles. Birds do love princesses! It's not a myth. It's not a myth at all! What happened to becoming a favorite? Guess I'd rather have one real friend. And let's go get him. I can't wait to see the look on Gene's face! Look at that expression. Is that for realizing you've put all of Textopolis at risk, causing Alex to question our reliability? Hey, that's going too far, even for me. If we can delete this malfunction before his appointment, they'll discover there's nothing wrong with the phone. Any last words? Meh. Well, it's too late for that. Delete him! Wait. You delete Gene, you'll have to delete me, too. I have the same malfunction Gene does. Dad? Gosh, I don't know what to do. Yes, I do. Bot! No! Sorry, Mrs. Meh. I did not see that one coming. Smiler, I think you might be making too much stink out of all this. Really? How about you're next? I was wrong, Gene. I should've believed in you all along. What a touching daddy-son reunion moment. It reminds me of the time I deleted you both. Wait. That's this time! Delete the two malfunctions! No. How's that for an... Great. I can't reach! No! What did you do to my beautiful... My tooth. Hand, button. Jailbreak? Gene. You really are a Meh. What happened to looking out for number one? Being number one doesn't matter if there aren't any other numbers. Alex's appointment! He's deleting the phone! No, no, no! Show me Alex. Are you sure you want to delete everything? Do it. Red alert! Red alert! Alex, no! Game over. Fellas, I'm afraid this is last call. Dude, Addie's here. You should go over. Every time I try, I screw it up. I don't know how to tell her how I feel. If we help Alex connect to Addie, maybe he won't delete us. I might be able to bypass the wipe and get a text through to him. But we'll only have time to send one. Maybe I should go. He has love in his eyes. Send me. Alex looks nervous, too. He's more shy than nervous. Stop! It's Gene. He's all of those things. An emoji should only be one thing. Really? The Princess! Linda! Not now, Mom! Gene, you got this. That's not me anymore. But I have to try. It's starting! No, it's ending! I'm working on it. Mom? Dad? No. I'm in. Last time I was in this cube, I screwed everything up. Gene, why do you think I came back? It's because of you. Me? It's all inside of you, Gene. Just try to bring it back. And do you. Hi-5! I don't want to wave good-bye. It's now or never, Gene. Jailbreak, now! Check out this emoji. No way. Hey, I got your text. That's one super-cool emoji. I know, right? A lot of feelings in one. I get it. I like that you're one of those guys who can actually express his feelings. Yeah. That's me. So, do you think you'd want to... Yes. I'd love to go to the dance with you. Hey, excuse me. We made it! I could've lost you, Peter Pinkie. Or you, Reggie Ring Finger. Even you, Tiberius Thumb. Change your mind? Yeah, maybe it's weird, but... I'm gonna hold on to it. Gene, you did it! You saved us all! Mel. Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene. Gene. Gene. Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! They love us! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! They love both of us! Hey, what up, Gene? Slap me some skin. And a little porridge for the pinkie. Hey, Hi-5, save me a dance for later. As long as you're not all hands again. Back on top of the hand pile. You're not on the list. -Wait, what? -What's going on? From now on, everyone is welcome! Wait, what is all this? It's for you, Gene. Everybody, the Emoji Pop! This is jazzy. Yeah. Go, Eggplant! Go, Eggplant! Go, Eggplant! We are out of Alex's pocket, emojis. This is not a butt dial. To your cubes. -Are we up and running? -Roger that. Good, 'cause we got incoming. Looks like it's gonna be Gene. Hey, Gene, ready to try out your new cube? In three, two... Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=the-emoji-movie

[fire-fira]

My dads drinking again, and it just got to the point where he's banging on the walls. I'm really nervous, and if you're feeling better could you please write a quick story about Damian maybe Collin? I'm just- I'm kinda freaking out.

I’ve got you fam. Stay safe, keep your phone on you, and if you have to get out and go somewhere safe.

Is It Really Kidnapping If It’s Your Friend? (Ao3 version)

“It doesn’t make sense,” Damian huffed. The two of them were temporarily taking a break in an unoccupied warehouse during their patrol. They’d been out with Bruce and Dick, but they had temporarily split off (Bruce had made Damian swear to keep his communicator on and made Colin promise, without any difficulty, to make sure that Damian kept it on).

Colin sat on a giant crate and casually kicked his feet, his heels occasionally drumming against the wood of the crate. Damian stood on the ground below, leaning against the crate with his arms crossed irritably and occasionally glancing up at Colin. “Dunno what’s hard to understand about it. I’m an orphan, people don’t like my anger problems, so I stay in an orphanage. Lots of foster care people don’t like me.” Despite his words Colin was actually fairly relaxed; it was a simple statement of fact and nothing more.

Damian scowled. “It’s inadequate.”

Colin shrugged. “Sorry one of my parents wasn’t Batman?”

A snort; though whether it was directed at the thought that Colin couldn’t have possibly controlled who his parents had been, or the idea that one of his parents might have been like Bruce was impossible to determine. “You’re not unpleasant. You should have a home instead of being warehoused.”

“But then I’d have to deal with someone noticing me sneaking out.”

“If they complain then that’s their problem. You should be allowed to do what you want.”

Colin snickered, though he tried (unsuccessfully) to repress it. “Damian, sometimes I really don’t think you get the whole ‘family boundaries’ thing. Most adults would look at what we do on a regular basis and scream about ‘child endangerment’.”

Damian scoffed, pushing away from the crate so that he could more easily look up at his friend. “And the fact that you know that term is proof enough that you are far more educated than the ignorant child they would assume, and that you should be treated accordingly.”

Ohhhh Colin was having a really hard time not laughing. “Damian… We’re twelve.”

“And?”

Colin was cracking. “I know we’re not normal, but most people would treat us– well me, because I’m the one in the orphanage and you live with your dad-”

“-Father.”

“-whatever– like they would any other twelve-year-old. Most twelve-year-olds don’t beat up badguys in the middle of the night.”

“Most other twelve-year-olds are not Abuse,” Damian retorted.

Colin broke down cackling. His friend just had NO concept of normal relationships in regards to age, and though he knew it shouldn’t be funny, to his way of thinking it was just downright hilarious. “Damian… Most people aren’t superheroes. Most parents don’t raise kids who are superheroes. Being a superhero is dangerous and most parents don’t want their kids– or foster kids– to be in danger. I’m pretty sure the only reason your dad-”

“-Father.”

“-whatever! I’m pretty sure the only reason he lets you do it is because he knows that if he refused to let you go out with him or your brothers and sister-”

“They are not my family Wilkes.”

Colin aimed an unamused look at Damian. “Will you let me finish? Please? Before I start thinking about throwing things at you?” Damian gave a wave, encouraging him to continue. “Thank you. As I was saying, if he refused to let you go out then he knows you’d go out anyway and get in more trouble.”

Damian snorted. For a moment he considered ignoring the comment, but then he said, “You don’t know what you’re talking about Wilkes.”

“Sure I don’t,” Colin said while rolling his eyes.

“…Very well then. I’ll tell my father you’re moving in,” Damian announced with a nod before turning on his heel and starting to walk off.

“Damian! You don’t get to decide that! Damia-” Colin pushed off the side of the crate to jump down and started after him. “Damn it Damian! You are impossible!”

“It is for your own good.”

“Just for that I’m telling your brothers and sister that you’re force-adopting me!”

“They are not my siblings! And I’m not adopting you.”

“I’ve seen all of them take you out to lunch at least ten times individually! Including Tim! They’re your siblings. Get over it.“

“I’m still not adopting you.” Damian clearly was choosing to ignore Colin’s point in the hopes that he’d drop it– something Colin counted as a small victory.

“Well what else would you call it when you’re forcefully moving someone in with you and your family would have to be responsible for them?!”

Damian glanced at Colin, arched an eyebrow, and said in a complete deadpan, “Relocation for your welfare. And it wouldn’t be by force. You’ve stayed the night before and said you liked the mansion.”

Colin stared at Damian for a moment or two as they walked before narrowing his eyes. “You are super-weird, and that’s saying something coming from me. I’m the kid who threw a bucket of paint at a moving car because I got so mad, and even by my standards you’re weird.”

“I’m perfectly rational.”

“…Nooooo, you’re pretty freakin’ weird. I’m glad I’m your friend, because I don’t think most other people can handle you. Besides, pretty sure you trying to force-adopt me might be considered kidnapping.”

“Shut up Wilkes.”

“Shut your face.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“And neither do you.”