#and if you wanna reblog and have a go at the game yourself go ahead!

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(yes, i reposted this. i needed to edit the dates. thank you to those who will re-reblog and re-like.)

it's finally here. a major quick thank you for all the love and patience everyone has shown me over this series. i hope it's worth the wait.

word count: 11k.

it's getting real now...

CHAPTER TWO: MASTERMIND

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 8TH, SIGMA NU CHAPTER HOUSE

Chistine Kiko just handed you an eighth of mushrooms and you weren’t one to disappoint. Even if it was your first time. “My fucking dad wouldn’t let me do anything in the Hamptons. I literally only had my dab pen and coke. Like, what kind of person does that?” 

They taste like fucking shit, Christine licked her pudgy fingers dry while you were gagging between chews. “He sounds,” baby barf, “like a monster.” She doesn’t pick up on your sarcasm, “thank you! Everyone said I was being dramatic too, glad to know I can rely on you.” 

You cough on the last swallow, Christine patted at your back, a red solo cup pushed in your hand. “Drink. I mean, he bossed me around all summer too. He thinks I wanna be like him, like, try that with your other kids?” You pull the cup down, “you’re an only child?” 

Christine shrugs, “it’s never too late.” You hum while you finish the mixture, it was ultra sweet, you assume it was full of booze. “So, basically, you’re gonna have a super fun time and I will totally be here for you if you need me, but I have friends to see, ya know?” 

It’s a nice way of saying she will absolutely not be around if you need her. You stop her with a hand on her wrist, “wait, how long until this hits? Will I know?” Christine smirks, “about an hour, give or take. Ride the wave and pick a bed to land in.” 

You’re alone for an entire two minutes, just enough time to get your own cup of jungle juice, the same mixture as Christine’s, before an arm drops around your shoulders. The voice alone makes you want to eat sand, you just know he’s about to say something stupid. 

With his girlfriend in tow, blonde hair whips towards you, a snotty smirk, “did you see Harvey yet?” It takes everything in you not to wack his arm. “No, not yet.” 

“Well, I’m sure he’s going to love your top.” You huff at him, “this wasn’t even the shirt Ally wanted me to wear, so, fuck you!” Matt holds a hand to his chest, “I am in a committed relationship, and even if I wasn’t, ew.” 

“Don’t flatter yourself, blondie. I’ve seen cuter rats.” He narrows his eyes, “I will pray for evil to find you.” Ally gasps, “Matty, no.” 

Holding a middle finger up, your eyes wander around the room until you zone in on Harvey resting against the staircase, a gleam of light hits his wrist, silver dances in your eyes. 

Harvey must have felt you, his chin rises in a poor excuse for a nod. You flash a four finger wave, raising your cup to your mouth when he starts laughing with a friend. Matt pokes your elbow at the interaction, “what kind of dress are you wearing to the wedding?” 

You grin, “I’m not sure yet, I don’t wanna clash with Ally.” You turn to her, “we both can’t wear white, right?” 

“Hey, hey, hey, if anyone’s going to marry Ally it’s me, and it’ll be in a church so you’ll either sit it out or burn.” 

Checking your phone you nibble at your lip, thirty eight minutes. Trent’s nowhere to be found, you need to start looking. And subtly. You take a step back, pretending to be interested in a fake text. “Give me five minutes, I need to make a call.” Ally’s quick to give the go ahead, “okay, text me if you can’t find us!”

Thirty seven minutes. Your shoulder hits a freshman’s, jungle juice splashes on the hardwood; spilling out an apology you step over the puddle. A boy you haven’t seen before smiles at you, if you weren’t on a mission, you’d be saying hello. 

You loop by the garage, heart stuttering when you capture Peter and Ethan playing a game of beer pong. Trent wasn’t there, your last hope and prayer was in the backyard. 

Surrounded by rose bushes, the chapter president had his lips wrapped around a cigarette. The red glow lit his cheeks up on the inhale, two girls and another guy with him, you think you shared a class with one of the girls last year. 

Trent catches your eyes, it’s clear you both don’t want anyone to know what’s going on. He directed his gaze towards your phone, a hand moved around in his pocket before he produced his own. 

You stare at your home screen, expecting the message any second. It comes when you move back inside. 

‘Use the backstairs, my room is on the left at the end of the hall.’ 

‘Give me five minutes.’ 

Thirty two minutes, you don’t have any time to waste. Your feet hit the stairs. 

Trent’s room is messy and terribly decorated. Clothes covered the floor, empty bowls and plates scattered across his desk, a still sweating, sealed water bottle makes you smack your lips. How tempting. 

A string of flags, a political one that doesn’t surprise you in the slightest, a ‘Saturdays are for the boys’ one, and a black and white american flag. The trio makes you roll your eyes, it seems very fitting for his personality. No shoe has a matching partner in the entire room, you’re scared to think of what might be under his bed. 

You don’t feel safe or comfortable enough to sit on it either, it’s unmade and with a noticeable and questionable looking stain. He does have a couch though, and it looks very, very comfortable. It feels like you’d sink right in. It’s not enticing enough, you don’t trust it. 

You check your phone again, it’s been five minutes and it could be the liquor, but you feel a slight wobble. Twenty three minutes until blast off Trent slides through a small crack in the door, your arms cross defensively.  “I know you’re not fucking me, but you can at least pretend to care about my time.” 

“Wrong. I wouldn’t care about you, even if you were fucking me.” He proudly takes a seat at his desk, he offers you nothing. A smug look rolls over, “you’ve built it up long enough, what do you need from me?” 

The sooner it’s over, the better. “My friends and I have a bet on your potential new members, if the person I pick makes it through recruitment, I win. I need you to make sure I win.” 

Trent’s facade slips, even just for a millisecond. “One more time, and I need you to be very clear on it, alright?” 

Were you slurring your words? You try to speak clearer. “I know someone who’s going to pledge, and I promise you he has no involvement in this, but I need him to be recruited so I can win some money. All I need is for you to make sure I win and they don’t.” 

A brief pause, Trent looks sympathetic. “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with that.” You cut him off, he accepted the terms last Friday, and again when you sent over copies of your- Noa’s hard discoveries. 

“No, no, Trent, you did. You said anything I needed, and I need this.” 

“If you would’ve told me what you needed, you would’ve known I couldn’t help you.” 

“This is bullshit, I’ll start singing from the rooftops about your payoff.” 

“No, you won’t. I’m the president, so I get final say on who we fully recruit-” You roll your eyes, “I know.” 

“- but I don’t get to choose who makes it past rush, you need a member to bid on a pledge. You need someone to big brother him, I can’t do that. If I get involved it becomes dirty rushing, and that is the biggest ‘no no’ to exist.” 

You slump, everything comes crashing down. “So… you can’t even pull rank here?” Trent shakes his head, “absolutely not.” 

“So this was all for nothing?” 

“If you can find a member to bid on him, you have my promise he’ll make it, and I’ll cut whoever you need so you can win. That’s it.” 

You’re at a loss, you have no other member you could ask. Matt could never keep a secret, you didn’t know Ethan well enough and there was no way in hell you’d ask- “Want my advice? Parker is your best bet.” 

You shake your head wildly, it takes a moment for your mind to click back into place. “You really want to involve someone else into this? You know what’s at stake, right?” You’re hinting at his secret, Trent shrugs. 

“If anyone is going to know about it, I’d want it to be Parker. He can keep a secret and has no issue in playing dirty if he’s in on it.” You’re suddenly very thirsty, you keep licking your lips for moisture. 

“He doesn’t know who I am.” Not a total lie. 

“Then introduce yourself.” 

You shouldn’t have to do anything, he’s the one not making good on his promise. You made good on your end and in return he’s barely lifting a finger. Maybe it had something to do with not wanting Peter involved due to fear of judgment. Or, maybe he’d be impressed like Trent. 

If you wanted Peter to be a conquest, it couldn’t start by you asking for a favor. That was friend behavior, and you wanted to be anything but friends. This was Trent’s problem, not yours. He doesn’t understand that you can make things difficult for him if he backs out. 

Your tongue is thick and you need water. You have no time for this. 

“Listen, Trent. This is your problem. I held up my end of the bargain, and you have to do yours. I don’t care how you do it, but you’re going to pledge Isaac Barns. If you don’t, I’ll turn shit around and make this the dirty frat, the frat that cheated for first place.” 

Trent held a clenched jaw, you saw nothing but fury in his eyes. “We’ll figure something out. No need to get mouthy.” If you had more time you’d entertain his comment, but it’s clear he’d figure something out. 

You eye the plastic water bottle next to him, snatching it from the side. “And I’m taking this, talk to me when you have a plan, Simpson!” When his door slams shut, it rings in your ears. 

You feel every muscle in your legs move while you walk, and within minutes it seemed like everything got brighter. A vibration washes down the back of your thigh, you slap around, it’s your phone. A single text. 

‘friend?’ 

You’ve been missing too long, one way to stop the questions. 

‘Finding Harvey…’ the response was a keyboard smash. 

Blinking harsh, the room feels like it’s blending together. You’ve never felt this way, it’s like the entire house is moving underneath your feet. The floor waves you into the crowd, everything feels like it’s slow motion, yet sped up at the same time. 

“Hey!” You don’t know who it is, it’s a stranger, his voice sounds distorted. You shake your head clear, and step right by him. You’re on a mission and can’t be sidetracked, things are hitting quickly and you need to find Harvey to explain plans have taken a very sharp left. 

A spin of bodies, you find one that stands out. You catch her shoulders. 

“Lindsey!” You fight for the words, they’re like butter. “Have you seen Harvey Guyn?” 

She’s fucking plastered, a slur of letters string out. “... hall.. wine… yeah! haha…” A gasp when she sees a friend across the house, you’re forgotten in a second. Putting your faith in her, you take careful steps, slapping your hands on the wine closet and tugging it open.

“Harvey! You in here? Lindsey said you were-” there was no chance to finish, Harvey was busy doing it for you. His head was thrown back on the wall tiles, a guttural moan ripped from his throat. Wrapped around his fist was a tight hold of black hair, to help Christine Kiko keep his dick swallowed down.

“Oh shit,” you slam the door on them, standing in shock for a few seconds. It wasn’t about him hooking up with her, he could do what he wanted. But it wasn’t everyday you saw something like that in person, and you had to give credit to Christine, she was taking it like a champ. 

It gave you an out for the night, you were too high for anything but breathing. 

Thank god for Christine Kiko. And really bless her for catching up with you in record time spurting apologies while wiping her mouth clean. “I know, I know, you guys were hooking up, but-” 

You stop her sorry, “how’d you know?” She rakes her long nails through her hair to untangle it, it comes out clean instantly. “My dad is super simping for his dad and we vacationed together this year so he had me try and make Harvey happy so he could tell his dad they should do business.” 

Christine has no idea how fucked up that sounds, “what would he have done if you were his son?” She doesn’t miss a beat, “Harvey swings both ways, doesn’t he?” 

Music shakes your feet, Christine’s hair looks soft. It’s black and pin-straight, you reach out, you comb your fingers through without a hint of struggle. “Wow, you take such good care of your hair.” 

���Rice water, you’re welcome.” She looks back at the door, “I need some things to finish up, but um, you feeling alright? It looks like it’s settling in.” It is. You’re busy twisting the cap on your water bottle, the small ridges skate across your thumb to create a soothing repetition. “Yeah.” 

It makes her smile, “yeah? You should go outside, the trees look fucking awesome, even when it’s dark.” You thank her for the idea, and stand still for a little too long after Christine retreats back to the wine closet. You think it’s your brain trying to remember how to walk, you blame the bass reverberating off the flooring. 

The second you’re able to actually pick your feet up, you move three steps before noticing it feels like you have lead boots on. You clomp towards the couches, perched on the side, sitting pretty, was your best friend. 

Making eye contact, you replay what just happened. You can’t stop it, it’s uncontrollable, bubbling from your throat, you laugh. Loudly. The longer you laugh, the more intense it gets. Ally has no idea what’s going on, but you assume the giggle is contagious. 

“What! Tell me!” You’re trying, but you can’t catch your breath. Each time you try to push more than two words out, you’re back to laughing so hard your shoulders shake. There’s only one reason you’re finding this so funny, you try to collect yourself. “I…” Another round, Ally’s right with you; you think she’s just excited to see what’s got you so giddy. 

“Okay, okay. Christine Kiko gave me some shrooms, and they, like, just hit. Also, I just caught her sucking Harvey’s dick.” Ally sputters, “what?!” A hand covers her mouth, the imagery catching up to her. “Oh my god!” You nod, she said it better than you could. “And you saw this?!” It’s like the idea is unbelievable to her. “Uh huh, right in front of me.” 

Ally presses the hand covering her mouth, to her cheek. A moment of silence, until she starts to laugh just like you did. You almost copy, until she stops and gives you an ironclad look, “wait, did you say mushrooms?” 

You pretend your mind is exploding. “I’m experiencing things I couldn’t explain right now.” Ally’s hair looks almost as soft as Christine’s. You grab a thick piece, breaking it into thirds and start to braid. It feels like rope, your fingers turn into a ball of yarn, fumbling into one useless clump.

“Are you okay? Matty and I were about to go upstairs.” Your eyes flash towards the stairs on instinct, then you're back at her. “Coming back down?” Ally grins and sends you a wink, “not if I give him a reason not to.” She drops her grin, “unless you need company, in that case, I’m here for you.” 

Just because you chose to spend your night tripping, it doesn’t mean Ally has to ditch bedtime with her boyfriend. Wouldn’t that be an incredibly selfish thing to do? “I don’t need a trip sitter, I have myself. And Christine. Also, have you seen Prince?” 

“Uh, no. He went off with Rocco the second we got here.” Rocco, the second you hear his name, you think of his hair, how does one achieve an afro? Would it be wrong to ask?

“Cool, cool, no doubt, no doubt.” Ally eyes you, she’s trying to make sure you’re fully okay before she pulls Matt upstairs. You flash a smile, it’s enough to have her drop her shoulders in relief. “You always have me, you know where I’ll be.” 

“And I am so, so grateful for you, Ally Storm.” Because, you are. In your opinion, mushrooms make you emotional. You went from laughing to appreciative in one minute, suddenly you’re hugging your best friend while holding back tears. “You are so kind, and patient, and nice, and, like, so super supportive to me.” 

Ally squeezes you right back, “you should do drugs more often, I’m loving the praise.” You pull back to wink at her, “it’s only cause you’re so great. Go do your boyfriend, since I can’t get any tonight.” 

“You think sex on shrooms would be good?” The idea hadn’t occurred, but thinking about it makes you agree with her. “Sex on hallucinogens? That’s boyfriend behavior.” Ally pats your arm, “next time, invite me. I’ll let you know how it is.” 

A twinkle in her eye appears, you dread what’s about to happen. “Sup, slugger?” The arm around you is entirely too heavy, but oddly comforting. Like a weighted blanket. “She took mushrooms.” You nod, Matt rubs your shoulder, you almost purr. “Having fun?” Normally, you have a love hate relationship with Matt. You both love to hate each other, but not seriously. Not that it’s been said, but you know Matt would protect you with anything in him if needed. 

Tonight, right now, Matt is a solid force. “Permission to hug?” Ally’s eyes widen, she almost doubles down on the sentiment of doing drugs more often. “You wanna full on, front touch me?” Nevermind, Matt just ruined it, like he ruins everything. “Not anymore, you ruined it.” 

“Oh, no, no, no. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.” Before you can try and dodge it, Matt’s got you in his hold. It’s very obvious he’s doing it for the pure enjoyment of annoying you, it’s almost endearing. Almost. You’d fight better at shoving him away but he’s got a warmth radiating from his chest and into yours. 

Peter watches you bump hips across the room with Paul’s girlfriend, your fingers pull at her hair. A wild look crosses her face, two of you giggling.

“I didn’t know she was Ally’s friend.” Ethan scratches at his arm, Peter’s guard goes up. He knows why he’s surprised to know you were the friend in question, he doesn’t know why Ethan thinks so too. 

Ethan shrugs and asks Peter about something, he can’t focus. “You know her?” 

“Yeah, that’s my bio girl.” 

Peter felt constricted, he doesn’t know why. “Wait, what? That’s my freshman.”

Ethan stares at the side of Peter’s head. “She’s not a freshman.” Peter sneers at his friend, “yeah, no shit.” Ethan kisses his teeth, “I invited her to the party.” He doesn’t know why, but Peter feels slightly challenged. 

“So did I.” His arms cross over his chest, he mumbles the rest. “On the first day.” 

“Funny. When I asked she said she had no plans.” 

Peter can feel his jaw clench, he wants to kind of fucking punch him, if he’s being honest. And that makes him even more upset, because why is he so threatened? Ethan may have an inkling that his best friend wants you more than he does, but he also wants him to know he could have competition. 

“Funny.” It’s clear Peter did not find it funny. 

“She’s cool. You know, witty, kind, pretty…” Peter’s doing what he can to keep himself from walking away, he wants to scream that he had eyes on you first. But that’s an insane thought, only one that could be casted by a witch. 

“She’s difficult and entitled.” 

All Ethan hears is ‘she’s fucking perfect for me.’ And his mind was made up, you were no longer someone he’d pursue. You’re all Parker’s, because he wants you. Even if he won’t admit it, yet.

“So, you have no issue with me moving in on that?” Peter’s a little too quiet, choosing to nurse on his beer in hand. “Do what you want, man.” He finishes his drink, he looks back up at you, sharing a warm embrace with Paul. 

“Cause, I don’t mind leaving it alone, if you want.” It takes a second, but Peter lightly shrugs. No words needed to be said, it told Ethan everything he needed to know. “You saw her first, it’s only fair.” It’s tiny, and it’s a microflash, but Peter grinned. What was understood, didn’t need to be explained. 

Heavy steps found themselves at a familiar face.

“My roommate ditched me and this floor looks like a pirate ship.” You point down for good measure, Ethan’s a good sport and looks with you. “Is it moving?” 

You nod quickly, glad he too can see the shifting boards. Ethan’s sweater catches your attention, it looks soft. By default he looks like a teddy bear, you can’t hold yourself back, latching yourself to the cashmere you run your hands over his back. 

“It’s so soft.” 

Ethan laughs, he has no issue returning the love. You melt under his touch, everything is so warm. “I can feel your hands.” Your lab partner knows exactly what’s going on, “yeah? What’d you take, X?” 

You pull back to spread pixie dust from your fingertips, “magic mushrooms.” Lights flash in cohesion with the music, you’re awe at the sharp beauty. Swirls of color cloud your vision, loud bass rings your ears. Vibrations flow from your toes up to your knees, a circle of laughter around you is contagious. 

You can’t stop the giggles, you weren’t sure who was laughing or why but it seemed so fitting. 

You throw your head back, the room spins and you squeal when your waist is held tight. 

“Ethan!” You hug him again, you can’t stop patting his sweater. “Wanna do some shots?” Ethan shakes his head, “no, you want some water.” You stop, “oh my god, yeah, that sounds so good.” Your lower back is nudged, you’re guided into the kitchen where you see a blur of motion. 

Stumbling, your back collides into another body. You spin quickly, you can’t believe it’s taken this long to see him. 

“Peter, hi!” 

Your arms loop around his back, you pull him tight to you and sigh. He’s broader than Ethan, but his shirt can’t match Ethan’s sweater. Peter feels oddly frozen, you shuffle into him further, an awkward pat is granted to the middle of your back. “Hi.”

“No, no, like this.” You fix the placement, it’s like he’s never given a hug in his entire life. Peter’s offering no warmth, it feels like he’s just allowing you to have this moment. You give him an unsure glance when you pull back, “I’ll make you better, don’t worry.” 

You’re stopped before you could try and teach Peter a proper hug. “Let’s not hug, Parker.” You blink wildly at your lab partner, before looking back at Peter, he has an unimpressed gaze on Ethan. “No hugs? You don’t like hugs?” 

It’s unacceptable, you pull at Ethan’s arm. “Here, show him how it’s done.” Ethan tries to shake his head, you loop around his waist tightly. “See, Peter? This is how you hug.” 

“I know how to hug.” 

You smile and nudge away from the cashmere, your arms open wide. “Okay, show me.” 

“No.” 

A frown takes over, since he’s being mean, you can too. 

“Fine. I don’t like your haircut, how about that?” Peter lacks the reaction you want him to give, “thank you.” You narrow your eyes at him, “Christine should’ve given you the mushrooms instead, you’re kinda grumpy.” 

Ethan pushes you back, “okay, D.A.R.E. Water.” You took the bottle and looked between the two friends. “Be honest, did you guys know they were hooking up?” 

Peter furrowed his eyebrows, you had the urge to rub it out. Ethan slapped your hand down. “Who?” You hold a finger up to pause the conversation, water has never tasted so clear. 

“Mmm…” you blink awake. “Harvey and Christine. Did you think he wasn’t planning on me finding out? Was he fully prepared to try and bang me after he got head from another girl? Cause, I don’t think so.” 

A song you haven’t heard before plays, it sends waves of warmth over your skin. 

Ethan shrugs, “sounds like Harvey, yeah.” 

You jeer around the plastic bottle, “boo.” Peter’s short circuiting in his brain. You were hooking up with Harvey? The pieces were muddling. His Harvey? That guy sucks. Peter reacts subconsciously, grabbing whatever you handed him. An empty water bottle, you smile, “thanks!” He grunts before tossing it in the kitchen sink. 

“This party would be so much better if Taylor Swift was playing.” 

It takes everything in Peter not to roll his eyes, Ethan one ups him in a second. 

“Which album?” 

You gasp, Peter swears he sees a sparkle in your eyes. For a split second he regrets not asking you the same thing. “Any of them! Do you like her too?” 

Peter thought his best friend read between the lines from their earlier conversation. He assumes he didn’t.  

“She’s alright, I have a few of her vinyls.” Record scratch, Peter just lost you. Your hand grabbed Ethan’s shoulder, you leaned in closer and gave him doe eyes. “No way, I don’t believe you. Which ones?” 

Ethan laughs, “I have them in my room, swear to god. I like her sister albums.” 

Peter watches your hand slide down his sleeve until you latch around his wrist, “show me.” Ethan shrugs, “alright, we can-” Peter steps in front of him, the path blocked. 

“Keznek.” As in, you’re not doing what I think you’re doing, right?

“Parker.” As in, do you really think that low of me?

A third name is brought into the mix, Peter looks down, you’re smiling big at him and for a second he feels like he’s smiling back. 

“Who’s that?” 

You point at yourself, “me.” 

He finally has your name, it’s fitting. He doesn’t think he’s ever thought a name could fit a person, until he heard yours. A weird urge to compliment it tugs at him, he buries it down. Witch. 

Attention back on Ethan, “you swear you have them?” He’s almost offended you’d ask, “promise.” You look to Peter, “can you confirm?” Peter sucks in a breath through his teeth, he shakes his head slowly. “I can’t.” 

The answer is obvious, “I have to verify, if you’re telling the truth you’ll win cool points forever.” Plan impeded, the chapter president just walked through the kitchen, a gleam in the wolves eye. His hand clapped Peter’s chest, the light abuse caused you to frown. 

“Nice to see you’re making friends with Parker.” 

You flip the script, a fake smile. “I’m sorry, who are you?” Ethan laughed behind you and was immediately silenced with a harsh glare from Trent. “Watch it, Keznek.” Peter’s face hardened at the tone. 

“You’re taking my advice, I love to see it.” 

Peter has his eyes on you, it takes strength to ignore it. “Wanna talk about advice? You should play some Taylor Swift.” Trent scoffs, “get fucked.” Peter speaks up before you have a chance, “hey, woah.” The head of the house wasn’t about to be talked to like he was a chapter officer, even if he was. His response was pushing Peter back and walking away. 

“I understand why he’s the president,” you watch the room swirl together. “He’s super mature.” Smacking your lips, you blindly reach for Ethan. “Do you see these fucking lights right now?” Peter glances around, it’s the same party lighting they use each time. 

“Are they dragging?” You focus in, when you move your head slow trails of light follow. “Yeah, woah.” Peter clears his throat, the sound cupped around your ears. “Your friend here, freshman?” You spin, “who’s friend?” 

Peter looks at Ethan for a second, you’re busy trying to pull at a loose thread on Peter’s sleeve. “How are you getting home tonight?” You twirl the strand around your finger, the tension snaps it. When the blood returns to your fingertip, it warms your entire hand. 

“Dunno yet. I’ll figure it out later.” You look down at your feet, they seem like they’re a million miles away from you. The floor shifts underneath you, it makes your knees shake, you clutch Ethan’s arm to balance yourself. “Pirate ship?” You nod, “ahoy, matey.” 

Peter shifts when you take him in, more or less just focused on his face. He stands a little taller, then questions it, because why would he care about how tall you perceived him to be? “Peter,” he waits. Pointing behind you, “wanna do a shot? Ethan refused, like he hates me or something.” You can’t stop looking at him, the lights dance over his face, casting him in an angelic glow like no other. 

“You think mixing shots with mushrooms is a good idea?” You move around, like your body couldn’t stand holding still. “Just one.” One wouldn’t hurt, and it’s not like he’s doing it for you or anything, he planned on having a shot anyways. You were just another person to pour for. 

“Sure. Pick the poison.” You answer quickly, an honest response. “Rat.” Ethan starts to laugh and it’s contagious, you start giggling too. You don’t know why he’s laughing, but it feels good to have someone to laugh with. Peter tilts his head to the ceiling with a heavy sigh, “no, freshman. I meant booze.” 

“Oh! Not vodka, I hate vodka, I can taste it in anything, even when Ally mixes it with Hawaiian Punch. So, please never give me vodka. I hate it.” 

Peter smirks at Ethan, “so, vodka?” You sputter, you wonder if you confused love and hate in your speech. You shake your head quickly, “no, no, no, Peter. I hate vodka, please don’t give me any.” 

Ethan slides a bottle down to Peter, it’s a party classic. Peter waits on you, “this good enough for you, princess?” It was sarcastic as all hell, but it still made you feel warm and fuzzy. “Yes, prince.” Peter just shook his head while he poured them up. 

Raised glasses, you wait for the toast. “Here’s to A’s, C’s, and double D’s.” The words made you send a glare to Peter, it seemed like he was waiting for it. “You know, like grades?” It’s not what he meant, all three of you knew it, but you couldn’t fight him on it either. It still works, a cheer is a cheer.

Normally, you’d find Fireball warming, tonight, you find it burning. You almost choke on it, holding it in your mouth for longer than you should’ve, the instant sting had caught you off guard. “Jesus Christ, freshy. Swallow.” It’s like you need a reminder, you’re able to take it down; a shutter takes over your body. 

You turn to your lab partner, a sour look on your face. “Why did you let me do that? You’re supposed to be smart.” Ethan holds his hands up, you’re not about to throw him under the bus. “Hey, I tried. You’re the one that only wanted Parker’s opinion.” 

SATURDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER 9TH. CATHEDRAL HALL. 

Peter was dragged out of his bed a little too early for a saturday in his opinion. He woke up to Trent hanging over his bed, poking him harshly on his shoulder. “The fuck do you want, Simpson?” If Peter had to guess what time it was by the shadow in his room, it was pushing early morning. 

“Get up. We need to go somewhere.” Peter blinked quickly, dragging a heavy hand up to rub the sleep from his eyes. “Now?” Trent started to stab, Peter slapped his hand away. “The fuck, man?” His president wasn’t playing around. “Get the fuck up, Parker.” 

Only when Peter sat up did Trent back away, “don’t wake anyone up. I need you downstairs in five.” When his door was shut, Peter squeezed his eyes shut and allowed himself to taste the idea of sleep one more time. Then, he got up, tugged on sweatpants and a hoodie, and silently crept downstairs. 

Peter tried to ask what was going on, and where they were going, but Trent just kept saying, ‘you’ll see,’ and ‘shut the fuck up and trust me.’ It wasn’t until he was walking up the steps to Cathedral hall, he had an odd feeling, a slight buzz in his stomach. It heightened when they took a turn for the girls section. 

“Hey, Simpson, if this is a planned parenthood thing-” 

“Shut the fuck up, Parker.” Out of nowhere he stopped, Peter almost ran into him. Trent banged on an decorated door, a whiteboard with Ally’s name, the other one had been swiped, the name unclear. “I thought Ally was at the house?” Trent beat the door harder, “she is.” 

Peter’s eyebrows furrowed, he was about to ask, yet again, why they were there. The answer came when the door flew open, eyes squinting at the hallway lighting, stands you. “You’re not Ally.”

Peter’s slightly surprised you’re home, he had no idea when or how you left last night. He also doesn’t really care. 

“No shit,” you lightly scoffed when Trent shoved his way in, your shoulder hitting the doorframe. “Good morning to you, too, dick.” Peter gently walked in, making sure not to bump against you. It made you smile lightly, “good morning, Peter.” He nodded back, “morning.” Trent bounced on Ally’s bed, it produced a loud creak. “No wonder she’s always at the house.” 

You sat on the edge of your own bed, gesturing to the spot next to you or your desk chair for a seating option for Peter; he chose the chair. Peter looked over your face while you woke up, your eyes puffy from being rubbed at, you stretched with arms over your head, a peek of skin showed your stomach. 

“You look sick.” It snapped you from your daze, you frowned at Trent. “Thanks, it’s my natural beauty.” Trent pulled a sour look, “that’s what girls look like without makeup?” Peter doesn’t really notice a difference, and that’s not a bad thing. “It’s too early for your shit, Simpson.” He looks towards you, you poke your tongue out at Trent, a childish moment to prove you had someone on your side and not his. 

Peter watches you lean back, velvety thighs on display. A hand goes behind your back, a plush resurfaced. Spider-Man sits on your lap, arms wrapped tight around his waist. He thinks it’s a squishmellow of some sort, he remembers he hooked up with a girl last year with at least twenty on her bed. She didn’t have a Spider-Man one though. 

“How are you feeling?” You look tired, maybe a little hungover. Little to no energy. Peter thinks it’s the comedown of your previous night's choices. You grin, holding Spider-Man a little tighter. “Like a champ, you?” 

Trent scoffs, “enough bullshit, wench. You know why we’re here.” Peter feels the hair on his neck stand up, Trent can be a prick, but he really has a vendetta against you. “Jesus Christ, Simpson. She’s a human being.” It’s the bare minimum, but it still makes you feel warm and fuzzy. “It’s okay, Peter. He’s just mad he can’t satisfy women.” 

Trent flies up, “fuck you! I’m doing you a fucking favor and-” Peter stands up just as quick, pushing Trent back down with a hand on his shoulder. “Sit down, Simpson.” With Peter as mediator, you don’t worry about standing up for yourself. 

“You’re not doing me a favor, I’m doing you a favor! You’re the one that couldn’t hold up your end of the bargain, you asshole!” Trent fights against Peter’s hold, “you’re the one that came to me!” You throw your Spider-Man to the side and step up, Peter backs up against your chest, literally using his body as a barrier. “You’re the one that involved Peter!” 

Peter shoves hard on Trent’s chest, it sends him flying back into Ally’s bed. You step back, Peter’s doing his best to look between the two of you. It’s exasperated, “involved me in what?” It goes silent, you weren’t going to say anything, you were the one who told Trent to fix it. Trent’s the one that brought in Peter, Trent’s the one to surprise you with a visit. 

Trent’s breathing is harsh, he’s more worked up than you are. You don’t know if it’s the situation or your comments, but you’re not saying a word until he does. “Look, your friend here, she’s the one that got us the intel on the other frats.” Trent’s a lot more gentle this time around, you think it may have something with the way Peter’s looking at him, daring him to try and make a move. 

Peter glances back at you, you look away, a poster more interesting. “She needs something in return and I can’t help her. I told her to ask you and I’d look the other way, but someone had to be difficult.” 

“I held up my end, Simpson. You do the same.” Trent huffed, “I fucking told you-” he lowered his voice at Peter’s glare, “- that I couldn’t do anything. I told you to ask Parker and you were the one that stormed out all pissed. I brought him here, isn’t that good enough?” 

Your arms cross, no, it wasn’t good enough. “I never wanted to involve Peter, I told you that last night. I just wanted you to figure out a way to fix it.” Trent throws his arm out at Peter, “I did! He’s fucking here! He’s gonna fucking fix it!” 

Peter feels like he’s going crazy, “fix what?” His chapter president rubs at his forehead, a heavy sigh. “You need to pledge… Fuck, what was his name?” You roll your eyes, you have little to no hope. “Isaac Barns.” Trent nods, “yeah, him. Parker, all I need you to do is pledge him and this-” an allover gesture to your body, “-goes away.” 

Peter takes a second to let it sink in, he almost laughs, but it seems a little too real to be a joke. “Dirty rushing, really? You do know what’s at stake if I say yes, right?” Trent’s jaw looks like it’s about to break into a thousand pieces with the tension it’s under. “Yes, Parker, I know what I’m asking.” Peter runs his tongue over his teeth, “right, so you understand why I have to say no.” 

You jump in, your hand on Peter’s arm, pulling him to face you. He’s staring at the placement, it’s sending a burn up and down, radiating heat. You pull away before he can shake your hold off, “please?” Peter steps away from Trent with a final warning glance, “tell me, freshman. Are you in a sorority?” You frown, “no.” He nods, like he already knew the answer. “Right. And are you aware of what could happen to me if I agree?” You have an idea, and it tells you it wouldn’t be good. “That’s if you get caught, you have Trent’s go ahead.” 

Peter laughs, he doesn’t give a shit Trent’s right there. “You think I trust him to have my back? He’d throw me under the bus in a second.” Peter doesn’t know what you know, you look in Trent’s eyes when you respond, making it clear that that would never happen. “Then trust me, and trust me when I say he won’t.” 

Trent looks away from Peter, he makes the connection in a second. 

“What do you have on Simpson?” You sputter, you feel a flush of warmth coat you. “I’m not like… some blackmailer or anything.” Trent shouts out from the bed, “ha!” Your eyes flash to the same poster from before, nothing has changed. “Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. President. Do you want to share with the peanut gallery?” Peter raises his hands, displeased, “don’t insult me and ask for a favor in the same breath.” 

“Look, Parker, just fucking pledge the kid, alright? It stays between us. Don’t think I don’t have shit to lose by letting this happen. I have the same risk you do.” Peter disagrees, “you’re not the one pledging.” Trent stands up, “but I’m cutting whoever she tells me. We’re both playing dirty.” 

Peter’s trying to think about it logically, he just doesn’t understand why. You have all the answers, they’re only there because of you. “Why?” You pause, “what, this guy your boyfriend or something?” You shake your head quickly, “no, no, no. Not at all. He doesn’t even know I’m doing this. He’s just a person I know who’s rushing, that’s it.” 

Peter kisses his teeth and shakes his head in disbelief, “yeah, I don’t know about that.” Total defeat, you were at a loss. Your answer was Trent, if Peter wouldn’t do it, Trent needed to find someone who would. “Trent,” it comes out as a whine, a defiant toddler pointing at Peter. 

“C’mon, Parker. Think about this. You’re smarter than your own good.” Peter sizes his president up, he really doesn’t like what he’s implying. “And I’m supposed to trust you?” You push on Peter’s arm, “no, you’re supposed to trust me. Trent won’t touch you, no matter your answer. Even though I really wish it was yes.” 

Peter’s doing his best to push down all emotion, because if he wasn’t, he’d find out that he wanted to say yes. Just because you asked him. And that’s not who he is, or what he does. He’s known you for a week and he’s about to put his entire academic career at hand, it’s dehumanizing to himself. Witch. 

“Fine.” You cheer, Peter’s whipped into a side hug. He claws your arms away from him, “I didn’t say yes. I’ll think about it, okay?” You nod, it’s enough for you, “thank you so much, Peter. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” 

Trent throws his hands up, “hello? You’re welcome.” You sneer at him, “you did nothing but put it all on Peter.” Peter tilts his head, he didn’t think about it like that, but you’re right. “You’re insufferable and will never find a man to put up with that.” That was a blow, a harsh one at that. You’re pretty good at brushing things off, or firing back, but Trent went a little too far. He hit that deep down, hidden, insecurity. 

You just really wanted to go back to sleep, the thought of Peter in your room no longer slightly excited you. You just wanted to be alone. “Jesus fucking Christ, Trent. Who the fuck says shit like that?” You shrug, “it’s obvious he was just giving me constructive criticism.” You try to joke, it doesn’t really work. 

Peter looks down at you, it’s like you sunk down into the floor. Trent made you feel small. “It’s not funny, nothing about that was funny. That was fucked up, Simpson, the fuck is wrong with you?” There’s not an ounce of remorse on his face either, “sorry.” Peter wants to break his arm, instead he shoves him towards the door, nothing near gentle. “You’re a fucking dick.” 

“Yeah, and you just wanna stick yours in her.” If he wouldn’t be at grounds of expulsion from the frat, Peter would’ve laid him the fuck out right then and there. “Shut the fuck up, Simpson. Just leave it alone.” He does, and throws the door open before parting you with a middle finger. 

Peter pauses at the door, his eyes on your figure. It’s not like he cares about you or anything, Trent was a dick, an uncalled for amount of mean. “Don’t listen to him, he’s still reeling from that ‘can’t please a woman,’ comment.” You give a small smile, “thanks, Peter.” 

Peter’s hand holds the door handle, a tight lipped grin. He doesn’t know why, but he feels like he just has to tell you. Clearing his throat, “hey, freshman?” You perk up, he finds himself looking down at your mouth, eyes trailing towards your collarbone. Peter stops himself, it’s not about that right now. 

“You’re not… you’re not totally insufferable.” 

Something about it makes you explode, you can’t stop the cheek hurting grin. For a second, Peter matches it. “Are you saying I’ll find a man to put up with me?” Peter shrugs a shoulder, “the world is pretty big, freshman. There’s gotta be at least one.” 

At least Peter won’t think you’ll die alone, he might even be at your side. “Thanks, Peter. For everything. And for thinking about it, it means a lot to me.” Peter closing the door on himself, he briefly pauses, “just because I said I’d think about it, doesn’t mean I’ll do it.” You nod, “I know.” 

“Good. I just didn’t want you to get disappointed.” Your eyes brighten, “you care about disappointing me?” 

It goes unanswered, instead, Peter takes a deep inhale. “I’ll see you around.” With that, you were alone with Spider-Man once more. 

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12TH, ESU DINING HALL.

The plastic chair next to Peter slides out, nickel legs scratch the tile underneath them. 

“So, how are we feeling about a verdict?” 

Peter doesn’t even flinch, he takes a bite of his sandwich. It was better before it was ruined by the presence of a demonic presence. Your hands drum on the table like you’re building yourself up for a yes, Peter thinks it’s funny you find him so easy. 

“It’s been two days, freshman.” You huff dramatically, “not a freshman.” 

“You act like one.” 

This is the part where you question your attraction towards him, it’s proof to the saying ‘you can’t pick who you love.’  You lean closer, it’s not about semantics. Peter pulls back when you get too close, he must be scared of another hug. 

“It’s a pretty easy answer, Peter. If you won’t do it, fine. But your president better figure out another way and quickly. We already have the PNM list, you make the choice sunday.” 

It isn’t his problem but the more he knows about it, the more it becomes his. Peter can’t deny the curiosity, for a witch you have no real magic, beyond what you’ve casted on him. 

Peter sighs, “alright, explain it to me. Sell it to me.” You sit straighter and fix your hair, clearing your throat you interlock your fingers on the table and begin to pitch. “I’m going on the ski trip this year, yay you.” You pout dramatically, “I needed money because my boyfriend isn’t a member of the frat and I wasn’t budgeted in.” Your words were a nod towards Ally, as if she couldn’t pay for it herself if she needed to. 

Peter wants to bang his head against the table, there’s no fucking way he had to spend a week with you in a house. That’s constant communication. That’s hell. 

“We bet every year on a member that makes it in, if we win, we get the money. I upped the stakes this year, and I know someone who signed up to rush.” You smile and poke at his arm, it’s solid. Peter looks down at your finger, you pull back and finish. 

“That’s where you come in. You pick him.” 

Peter crosses his arms over his chest while he tilts his chair back, he’s mulling it over in his mind. He looks over your face while he pokes at his cheek with his tongue, if that’s his concentration face, you hope to make him think a lot more. 

“What do I get out of it?” In Peter’s mind, it’s a bit unfair. He’s putting his reputation, spot in the frat and possibly academic probation on the line. And he gets nothing out of it. He doesn’t even want anything in return, or nothing he can think of at the moment at least. It still feels like he has to bargain for something, he’d regret it later. 

You try to hide the shock, you didn’t think Peter was that kind of guy. You didn’t know him, but you didn’t take him for a sexual favors type of person. You wanted to hook up with him, sure. But when he felt like it was owed to him, it felt icky. 

“Oh,” you look around the room, your voice lowers. The deal took a dirty turn. “What, um…” You look back at him before escaping eye contact, you don’t feel as bold. “What did you have in mind?” 

You didn’t hide the shock well, Peter’s chair is back on four legs with a slam. “No, god no.” Okay, he wasn’t asking for sex, but god no? Peter worded it wrong, you took it as a personal offense. “Not…” He’s not even going to try and explain that one out, he ditches the part where he would try to say ‘not that I wouldn’t have sex with you, because I would, but…’

“I’m not asking for you to fuck me, I just meant I’m putting a lot on the line for a girl who assaulted me and a guy I barley like.” Assault is a harsh word, you’d fight him on it but the last part mattered more. You could give him the dirt on Trent, he said if anyone knew he would prefer it to be Peter. 

“Wanna know what I have on Trent?” You have his attention, suddenly Peter looks very interested in what you have to say. He nibbles on his bottom lip for a second before nodding, for this part, you really lean in. 

“He failed out. The school sent him a letter saying he was dismissed, he had a fourteen average.” Peter’s trying to connect the dots, for once, he truly had no idea what was going on in the frat house. “His dad donated eighty-six grand, anonymously, and the next day? Bam. Reenlisted and all roles reinstated, like nothing ever happened.” Peter’s not surprised one bit, it’s very on brand for the Simpson family, to pay their way out of trouble. At least he can say you didn’t leave him empty handed, it’s good ammo to have in the back of his pocket. 

“I’ll consider your request more seriously.” It’s something, and you’ll celebrate it, you pull him into a hug, just for a quick second to squeal in his ear. You’re shrugged off in a second, you don’t care. “Thank you! See, I just knew I picked the good one!” 

The good one? 

You’re up and pushing the seat in, your bag hung over a shoulder. “I’ll see you friday?” In relation to the weekly party, he nods slowly, like you’re an idiot. “I do live there, yes.” You’re unfazed, you’ve come to realize he’s just a mildly grumpy person. It’s mostly cute. 

“Will you let me know then, is that enough time?” Peter will do anything to have you leave, he wants five minutes of peace with his lunch before he has thermodynamics. “Yeah, sure, whatever.” Your eyes sparkle, he has to look back at his plate. “Thank you, Peter. You’re the bestest.” 

You really, truly are a witch. Because his sandwich tasted a whole lot sweeter when you walked away. It turned into sog the second you placed yourself at Ally and Paul’s table. Ally’s eyes flashing over to his, a grin when he was caught looking your way. He finished in record time, he needed to get out of the room, it was starting to get a little too warm for his comfort. 

Ally started in the second you placed yourself across from her, eyes flashing to where you previously were. “Hanging out with Parker?” You shrug, if it helps getting her off your back, it helps. “He’s cute.” A squeal, she pulls at her boyfriend's arm. “Did you hear that? Matty, ask Parker if he’s into her.” 

Matt crushes a coke can, a burp follows. “No.” Ally’s face scrunches up, “why not?” Matt’s swiping at his phone, you can’t tell what game he’s playing, the glare from the lights are too bad. “Cause it’s not my business, or yours.” Ally pulls away from him entirely, her arms crossed over her chest in a huff. Uh oh, she’s mad. 

“Babe, can you get me a water? My wallet is in my backpack.” When she makes no move, he peeks over, “please? I can’t pause this level.” It’s a huff from his girlfriend, “what? You’re mad at me now? Look, I can’t even ask him if I wanted to, he’s leaving.” You look over your shoulder, Peter’s walking out with headphones stuffed in his ears, blind to the outside noise. How lucky. 

“Yeah, good thing you don’t live together or anything, Matt.” It has his total attention, “no need for that hostility, honey. If you want me to ask, I’ll ask.” It’s the right move, and he played right into Ally’s hand. A cluster of kisses to his cheek, “thank you, Matty. Love you.” A smile’s back on his face, his reward was his request being honored. 

The second Ally’s out of earshot you laugh at her boyfriend. “She plays you like a fool.” 

Matt doesn’t care one bit. “Yeah, love makes you do that. You’ll find out, she-devil.” 

You just hope you’re not the fool.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 13TH, QUEENS, NEW YORK.

A six car pileup on the bridge caught Spider-Man’s attention, adrenalin courses his veins, any traces of that six egg omelet from Linda weighing him down vanishes. A screech of his name, he clocks it instantly. A woman, barely fourty. Spider-Man knows who it is, it’s the reporter that called him a Spider-Menace last week. Oh, how the mighty fall. 

A head tilt at the woman, she’s panicking. Thrashing in her seat, crumpled between glass and leather. She’s begging him for help, he watches for a moment before speaking over the screams. “Calm down, I’m gonna help you. Just felt like being a menace.” Tears, she speed runs apologies, tells him it’s just a job and her son loves him. 

“Alright, alright, come here.’ A grown woman, clinging to his hip is almost comedic. “Thank you, thank you, thank you…” Spider-Man doesn’t need to hear it a million times, it doesn’t mean much to him after the first one. “You’re alright, just wait over here for the fire department, okay?” 

There’s countless other shouts, he’s already running back up the freeway. Spider-Man has no plans to stay in the city after this, no, instead Peter is going to take the long train back and listen to a podcast. But right now, Spider-Man has a job to do. 

CATHEDRAL HALL. 

Three copies of the same page, everyone calls a name.

Ally starts, “I call Conner Frise.”

 Prince next, “Sam Mason.”  

Ally pokes your shoulder, “c’mon, what’s your pick?” 

You pretend to think about it, two pairs of eyes waiting expectantly. You grin, “Isaac Barns.” Confidence spills, “and I’m gonna win.” 

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 15TH, SIGMA NU CHAPTER HOUSE

Peter’s clouded in infatuation. If he was animated, he’d have hearts and stars swirling around his head. Maybe it was the booze that had him feeling so loose, for once dropping the urge to push you away, and to pull you closer. Or maybe it was you. All he could smell was your perfume, it choked him in the right ways. Something he’d be smelling long after you were gone, something that made him want to breathe in against your neck. 

You haven’t left him alone all night, circling back over and over until all he could think about was you, you, you. 

He didn’t know a neck could be so pretty, how he’d kiss over your pulse and hope it would race as much as his. And he never really noticed hair, until it framed your face. Peter was never much on picking up sounds, but now he’s heard your laugh, the one he pulled from you, he’d never be able to unhear it. 

And your voice. It whispered a song into his ears, it sent him leaning in, begging for more of the inflections. Peter didn’t care what you were talking about, as long as you were speaking to him, he’d listen. He wasn’t one to notice clothes, only when they fit just right or left little to the imagination. But on you, everything was your color. 

Peter can’t think of anything else but your lips, they’re puffed while you spin words. Velvet tumbles produced, hints of a smile around your ‘S’s. It’s like you don’t notice him getting closer, as he steps forward, you step back. You weren’t trying to escape, it was subconscious, you were making more room for him, you don't realize he doesn't want space. 

“It was really kind of sad, because the whole time you were rooting for the main character,” he’d asked you about a book he saw in your room. He doesn’t really care about it. 

“Right,” one step closer. 

“But then it all comes down at the end and you realize he really wasn’t a good guy,” Peter takes another step, your back brushes the brick wall. Little pricks dig into your shirt, it doesn’t stop you. 

“And then?” 

You smile, “this is where it gets good,” Peter leans his hand on the wall next to your head, you make no notice. “It is.” It’s more of a statement than a question, he’s relaying it to his own situation. 

“You find out he set up his friend,” it was the twist, you’d been setting it up, but Peter has no reaction. You wonder if he was even listening to you, maybe it would’ve been better if he had read it himself. 

“Are you listening to me? Cause I just kind of just spoiled the whole thing.” 

Peter can’t stop himself, he leans in. His head hangs low, you raise your chin to look in his eyes. How have you still not picked up on his hints? “Why’d he set him up?” You hum, a sparkle forms in your eyes, he was listening. 

“Well, if we're talking about my personal analysis, I think it’s cause-” 

Your lips are pillowy, puffed under his mouth as they’re wrapped around your words. Your skin is warm under his hands, he can feel your hips burning his palms over your clothes. Peter tugs you closer while simultaneously pushing you further into the brick, when you hum into his kiss, he licks your bottom lip. 

Open mouth kisses, your hands tug at the curls on the back of his neck, he’s not one for girls playing with his hair. But you, he wants you to touch wherever you want. He can’t fucking breathe, but he doesn’t care, you’re enough of a breath of fresh air. Peter feels more alive in this moment than he has in a long time. 

You pull from him, puffs of air tumble. Peter’s desperate for more, you’re just so sweet. Wet marks dot from your jaw to your neck, your hands tug at the lapels of his flannel. “Peter,” it’s breathless, he wonders if it’s the kiss or him. 

Hands tuck under your thighs, you gasp as you’re pulled up to equal height on the wall. Your legs loosely straddle his waist, nails digging into his shoulder when he hums over the middle of your throat between gentle bites and smoothing his tongue over the attack. “Fuck,” it’s a whimper, you don’t mean to, but fuck. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have cornered you like this, but what’d you expect looking at him like that? 

Peter retraces his steps, all you can think is that he tastes as sweet as he feels. It was everything you’d been pining for, and more. You were screaming in color, each grip of his hands felt like water paint, soaking deep and spreading. 

Would it be selfish if you wished he felt the same? 

“Parker, you out here?” 

You squeak, your feet hit the ground. Peter’s head is spinning, his instinct to get as far away as possible. “Yeah,” it’s airy. He clears his throat, you look over his face, he’s avoiding eye contact. “Peter,” you feel a jolt when he backs away. A stab when he steps around the corner, you try to follow, he’s quicker. 

You feel everything crumble when you realize he doesn’t want anyone to know he was with you. 

“Where you at? We’re mixing everclear for the PNM’s.” 

“Peter,” it’s on deaf ears. He doesn’t even look at you, how could he kiss you like that and then act like it was nothing? Why would he kiss you like that if it meant nothing? 

“Right here,” you watch his back disappear. “Tequila if we’re evil, beer to make them puke.” His frat brother laughs, “you’re a sick man, Parker.” 

It really, really doesn’t feel nice to be left behind in the cold. Especially when he just made you feel so warm. And it really doesn’t feel right when you want to cry, and it feels humiliating when you give him a grace period, just so you didn’t follow him from the back of the house. Just so no one would see you, just so no one would know what just happened. 

Just so you could keep it to yourself. 

You feel nothing when a shoulder hits yours, your fingers feel hot from the contrast of the breezy outdoors to the crowded, humid room of bodies. Ally’s arm hangs over your neck, you want to scream. 

Peter’s eyes catch your frown, he should’ve done more. But if he doesn’t understand anything, how would his frat brothers? He feels bad, and a little more sober than he should be, a little too sober to have done what he just did. A line of shots, Peter adds an two extra, but he doesn’t add everclear, he chooses Fireball. 

A pink, plastic shot glass slid in front of you. You look up, Peter’s waiting and watching, he raises his own. “Cheers, freshman.” It’s something, he’s waiting on your call, you’re so close and you can’t blow it now. You plaster on a smile and shake Ally’s arm off, you raise it up. 

“Cheers, Parker.” 

Peter must’ve had more than he thinks, because wow, what a gross feeling. 

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 17TH, SIGMA NU CHAPTER HOUSE

Peter does his best to be a good person, part of that is knowing when you fuck up. And what he did at his party on friday, was a fuck up. It wasn’t that he particularly cared about you, or your feelings, but he could admit that he pulled a shitty move. So shitty he dodged you the rest of the night and left you high and dry with his answer about your favor. 

You didn’t even have a way to try and contact him, other than beating down his door but even you knew that would be a bad idea. Which leads him to now, standing on the front lawn, with thirty two potential pledges. 

Peter’s turn to bid. A terrible idea. But all he could think about was getting back in your good graces and how much it fucking annoyed him to want that. Peter can feel Trent’s eyes burning into him, he takes a step forward, boldness in his chest. 

“I bid Isaac Barns.” 

It would either be the worst or best decision of his life and for whatever reason, you’re worth the gamble.

CATHEDRAL HALL

its.parker requested to follow you.

Your eyes widened, suddenly you’re very awake. Peter’s the one that kissed you, Peter’s the one that walked away, Peter’s the one that ignored you. Peter’s the one that followed you. Mixed messages, but it proved something. It wasn’t his main with ten pictures, it was his personal, his finsta, the one full of his personality. 

You nibble on your bottom lip, it shouldn’t be that easy for him. Tapping on his account you hit the request button, just because you follow him doesn’t mean he gets to follow you. Mind spinning, you replay friday night again. 

The tension eased and multiplied in one action. Peter had made you feel butterflies in the deepest pits of your stomach, when he kissed down your neck, when he wrapped your legs around his waist, when he went in for more, when he kissed you first. 

Even thinking about it makes your cheeks hurt from a grin, you squeal out and kick your feet in your bed. Peter Parker kissed you, and it meant something. It had to, something tells you that Peter doesn’t jump without thinking. 

Peter’s holding his breath while refreshing his page, still no notifications. He’s worried he blew it that night, not that it matters, it was just a kiss. Everyone kisses, if you really think about it, kisses don’t mean much. At least that’s what he tells himself. 

spider.luvr66 requested to follow you. 

If he acts now, he’d be a bit crazy. You hadn’t responded to him, but he doesn’t care. He’ll wait a couple minutes, then respond. It feels like his brain is melting, he’s not supposed to, and doesn’t feel like this. It’s against who he is now. 

But, fuck, you make it difficult for him to not think about you. Peter swears you’re a witch. 

Accept. spider.luvr66 is now following you. 

Follow request accepted, you are now following its.parker.

You sit up, it was quick, you wonder if he was waiting for the notification. It doesn’t matter, you have the Peter Parker bible in your hands, and you were about to do some research. 

You finally had access to his posts, and you were about to scroll through every single one. But the most recent one was the most important of all. A picture of Peter, crossed arms back to back with a slightly familiar face. The caption told you everything you needed to know about Peter. 

‘big brother season.’ 

You had your bid and he posted the proof.

Whatever he did friday was forgiven. That wasn’t who he was, but this, putting himself on the line for you, this was his true character and whether he wanted you to notice that or not, you did.

And it was a bold act for a guy who pretended he didn’t kiss you breathless. 

[jeonsbabygirlsworld]

"MEANIE"

SUMMARY: Jungkook is busy playing, and you desperately need his attention, when he doesn't give you attention you decide to have it your way.

PAIRINGS: Mean Jungkook X whiney reader

WORD COUNT: 786

SMUT WARNINGS: 69 a few minutes, fingering, use of vibrator and a dildo, hand job, squirting, reader is a whiney mess, grinding for like seconds, Hickeys, Reader calls him Daddy once or twice.? He cums on her stomach but reader wants it messy, so she fingers herself with the cum, cum eating.

a/n: it's my first time writing about a whiney reader please bear with me. I hope yall enjoy it.Please like follow, reblog and comment.<3 A little birthday gift from my side 💞

You’ve been whining for about a good 10 minutes now, Jungkook sat on the end of the bed playing GTA 5 on his computer which was placed on the table in front of the bed. Curses left his mouth. You’ve been calling him now for 5 minutes while he waves you off saying, “Give me a minute baby”.  

You undressed yourself when he wasn’t paying attention to you, stomping your tiny fist on the bed “Gonna show you now” You hovered above his back grabbed onto his gaming console and threw it in the bed before he could even register what happened you straddled his face strangling his face by placing your naked pussy over his lips.  

Your hips were lifted in the air so he could talk to you “fuck baby you were horny all this time?” He asked placing a kiss on your clit. Humming you grabbed his soft cock through his boxers he lifted his hips “needed you so bad kook” you said placing a kiss on his now leaking tip. “Fuck so wet bun,” he said growling while you tried to deep-throat him “mm can’t take full kook” you cried looking at him over your shoulder “Oh yeah you wanna take me fully?” He said teasing you and humming you went back to try again. “Take what you can baby” assuring you he dips down to take your pussy in his mouth.  

Slapping your ass, you moaned loudly “Turn around baby will fuck you with my fingers first” he turns you around so now you are on your back tear-filled eyes gazing at him “Aw baby choking on cock brought tears in your eyes?” He asks mocking the tears. “Not fair want you in my pussy now” you pouted slowly your fingers coming to spread your wet pussy lips.  

Chuckling he saw your eagerness “Yeah baby gonna spread those pretty lips for me?” You nodded while his fingers made a V-shape while a dollop of slick Dribbled down “Want it now want your fingers” you whined your tiny fingers guided his large ones in your whole while he smiled looking at the site “yeah do it yourself” moving your pussy  on his fingers he sat there doing nothing just watching you help yourself huffing a puff out you groan removing his fingers from your heat.  

The wet slick dripped from his fingers while he sucked them you got ready to get up and take your vibrator and dildo from the drawer testing his patience Jungkook smirked: “Go ahead, baby thought of helping you but not now, help yourself yeah?” He said while palming his cock you inserted the vibrator, and dildo inside you “Hate you Koo” you pouted.  

After a few minutes of using them, you messed up the sheets with the overstimulating feeling resulting in your squirting Jungkook coming on his lower abdomen.  

You wanted more, you wanted his Cock, you wanted his cum, you wanted to make it messy on his cock but no he wouldn’t help you at all why because you disturbed him while playing.  

Sitting off in the mess you leapt into his arms crying into his neck “Sorry kook I won’t do it, need your cock, please Koo” you whined grinding on his wet cock “Yeah baby you promise? You won’t forget what you said?” He said cheekily while you nodded and gave him the cutest puppy eyes.  

“Lay down baby Daddy is gonna fuck the hell out of you now, gonna tell you who is the boss “ 

You lay there crying mess when he fucked you hard and sucked in purple-black hickeys on your neck and broke you apart. Your tiny fists grabbed onto his neck sucking on his neck sometime while you cried “daddy gonna cum” you whined “yeah cum” with that you reach your orgasm while he pulled out jerking himself over your lower body. 

It was unusual for him to not cum outside your pussy “no make my pussy messy not my stomach” you grabbed his hand which was over his cock “no remove those hands from my cock this is your punishment” he swatted your hands away when you didn’t listen.  

Soon Cumming you took his cum on your fingers slightly dragging them near your whole and fingered yourself and sucking on the remaining.  

Huffing he goes back to play game without giving you an aftercare like he always does but you know he is still grumpy from you disturbing his match, while stay there slightly dozing off covered in the mess. You know he will be all right in few, he might even come back to sleep on your plush boobs. 

TAGLIST : @kimmingyuswifee , @jungk97kwife, @httpjeonlicious , @galaxygirl453 , @babysoogyu

[tarot-by-e11e]

Hello Elle how have you been dear, everything okay!? Hopefully yes and if not just know that sometimes we gotta rest back and observe a little allowing us to be just a human. Thankyou so much for opening this for us again, sending you strength and energy because I know how draining is to do this and especially these type l readings will require extra so better start hydrated and rest well.

"What mythical/fictional creature do you think or feel nearly embodies your dark side?"

-Well a really very intresting question but i really don't have a thing for fictional/mythology characters since I don't have watch a lot but if i were to say maybe I'd say Lilith!? Why because I've been drawn to her a lot some times you know and the things she loves and all if that makes sense. But somehow I feel I'm also someone who has boundaries and hyper independent not the type to serve someone or be submissive like to be free and myself regardless of how traditional & hopeless romantic I am. If that makes sense. Also she embodies dark feminine energy and is often misunderstood as something she's not & feel the same way.

My information; I'm Jasmine. Capricorn sun, Virgo moon and Taurus rising. (Tropical) She/her aka a women if that's needed too lol.

Thankyou so much dear have an absolutely amazing week ahead! Sending you good energy and love. 🫶🏻🤍✨🧿

*reblogging things too dw*

Hi Jasmine,

Thank you so much for participating in my Inner Demons ask game.

I wanna start by saying thank you so much for being so understanding and patient with me, especially when it comes to your reading request.

OMG, you chose Lilith! You must be quite the badass! If you resonated with Lilith, you must have gone through so much!

So the cards I pulled are: 10 of Swords, 6 of Cups, 2 of Cups

By, any chance, did you ever feel like you were forced to grow up to fast? Like you were robbed of your childhood? Were you punished for not being the perfect child? Were you punished for crying? Could also be parentified, looking after younger kids? Was the financial constraints of your family pressured you to not want to ask for anything? Were you used to hand-me-downs?

I'm here to tell you that, having felt frustrated, worn out almost livid, and short-tempered with others wasn't your choosing. You were barely left with any energy by the end of the day to even have the time to sit, reflect, and honor your feelings. You did what you could to survive, it wasn't perfect, so I'm not sure if it's any consolation to say this, the adult you are today was the person you would have run to and needed back when you were growing up.

Now, I'm in no shape or form have any intention of invalidating your experiences and pain. All I'm saying is, you're not that scared and hypervigilant, defenseless little kid anymore. You've grown through that chaos and you survived. Don't feel guilty about surviving, also don't dismiss and undermine the impact of all the things you've overcome in order to be the adult that you are today. With that, in my eyes, it seems you have the Inner Demon I call, "Diamond Soldier".

Now, it's not to say you deserve to go through hell and back; but the fact that you did, is something you should take pride in. Just remember, YOU did that. YOU survived! YOU have outlived all the days you thought would end you.

The resilience to persevere every trial and obstacle thrown at you since you were a kid, all those sleepless nights, fighting your inner demons and intrusive thoughts; all those external pressures have transformed you into the Diamond that you are today.

Now what you desire is a sense of comfort and relief; could be something familiar that had been your only form of solace during your turbulent upbringing. Maybe a feeling of being safe to exist. Safe to be yourself. To feel safe to be who you want to be. Safe to dream and pursue the life you had always dreamed.

And how you go about it while incorporating your brilliant perseverance is by adaptability and resourcefulness; of what you currently have and capable of, then strategize in a way that is both realistic and sustainable for your current lifestyle.

Let's say you grew in a chaotic household where screaming and shouting cuss words was deemed as a casual conversation. So you would want to live independently where you feel safe to exist, by making sure every single thing or aspect in your new apartment would collectively bring you a sense of calm, safety and security.

If loud noises trigger you, make sure your cabinets and doors are soft closes. If bright fluorescent lights trigger your fight or flight response, choose warmer and softer sources of lights. If it's food, then make sure your entire pantry is always fully stocked with your comfort food. This part has to be specifically curated to your particular needs.

So never forget that after this reading, you don't owe anyone any explanation on how much would you go out of your way, in order to feel safe to exist. Anyone who gets mad at you for establishing your healthy boundaries are the very traitors who benefits from your unexpected naivety.

This concludes the end of your reading. Do let me know how this resonates with you. Feel free to show some support via my Buy Me A Coffee here (This reading is for entertainment purposes only.)

[raijintosworn]

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: Cyan

Pronouns: she/they/he

Birthday (no year): 28/05 (I share my birth with Siegbert and am between Mercie and chrom!)

Where are you from? What is your time zone? From France, live in England so like 5 hours ahead of the toa clock so I miss a lot

How long is your roleplay experience? Like 15 years now??? What the fuck

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? So I had a friend in school who was a weeb and asked if I RP. And I thought he meant. You know. Nsfw. So I was like Ew no :( I am a teen that is gross. Then he explained he meant like fandom RP and how it works and then I joined him on GaiaOnline YES I'M THAT OLD THANKS AND YES I STILL USE GAIA. I started with hetalia. Yes I'd still like to die

How were you introduced to TOA? Lailah hinted at me for like 2 weeks with lines like "I joined this group and you know Gerome misses Cynthia" and I kept going "sounds fun :)" and did not realise they were hinting until they straight up asked. wow I have been here 6 months

Do you have any pets? No :( I don't have the time for them

What is your favorite time of year and why?(Season, holiday, general period) Summer despite you know. The bugs. But I can actually function in summer

What is your IRL occupation? Data entry; it's why I'm on the discord server most of my day now

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? I like cooking, baking, oh and I'm a cosplayer! I've been at it for 3 years and yes it's mostly fire emblem bar ONE (soon to be two)

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? Tales of (WHERE ARE MY TALES FRIENDS AT), Persona, critically acclaimed mmorpg FFXIV, octopath, ?? I'm not sure what else? I tried playing dragon age but it crashes constantly even with the fixes

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: I don't think I have a fave type but I really really love Dragonair 🥺

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! I once wrote about the ships I hate for an English exam. Got an A. But at what cost. One was a hetalia ship (I was a child.) and another was Bart and Milhouse. 😑 Yes that Bart and Milhouse.

How did you get into Fire Emblem? I was told to play Awakening because I'll love it and I'll totally love all these characters. Um. I never finished it. Then Fates came out, twitter didn't shut up about that and I refused to play it. Then 3H came out. I saw Edelgard and it was joever for me. So I bought it and I've been here ever since.

What Fire Emblem games have you played? Engage, 3H, Fates (all three routes baby), Awakening, Echoes, Warriors, Sacred Stones, a little FEH until I was put off cause I summoned Easter Xander, a little FE7 and I WILL. FINISH. PATH OF RADIANCE. I SWEAR TO YOU ALL RIGHT NOW.

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: first was technically Awakening but I didn't like it so I dropped it until 2022 I wanna say? So really my first FE was 3H. My favourite? Depends on the day.

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series!

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason!

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays?- Awakening:- Fates:- Three Houses:- Engage:

Favorite Fire Emblem class?

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable?

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? (Black Eagles, Blue Lions, Golden Deer, Church of Seiros, Those Who Slither in the Dark, unaffiliated civilian, other - for example Almyran)

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent?

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? (Firene, the Kingdom of Abundance; Brodia, the Kingdom of Might; Elusia, the Kingdom of Knowledge; Solm, the Queendom of Freedom; Lythos, the holy land of the Divine Dragon; Gradlon, the desolate land of the Fell Dragon)

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔(separate letters, to-ah, other?)

Current TOA muses: Cynthia and Ryoma!

Past TOA muses? Alas :(

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Cynthia! My beloved. I didn't think she could be such a strong muse I picked her up cause I was bullied into it. Now she bullies me daily

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) I don't know actually? I love posh assholes. I love sweet girls. I love chaos characters. I dunno you should see my muse list on my indie it's a wild mix

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? I wanna write unrepentant assholes but I can't :( I struggle with that. I'm trying tho

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) um. Well. I like intimate stuff if you're picking up what I'm putting down. But then I run away about 2 replies in so I write fanfic usually. I like kissing too. Um. I love high emotional scenes too. If I could describe my writing style, it's "My Dinner With Andre - the novel" (I've never seen the film but I get the gist)

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? I want Ryoma to be happy. Like genuinely I want him to be in a place where he can forgive himself, maybe even forgive the nohrians. I want him to move on and have a peaceful life as a teacher. But I also want him to fall in love which is. So silly. But. My brain is a shipper lol. As for Cynthia? Hm. I have thoughts for her but that's a whole arc

Favorite TOA-related memories? I dunno! I've had a lotta fun here but I can't think of any specific stuff offhand? Maybe how welcoming everyone was when I joined that was nice 🥺

Present or past tense? Present! I live in the moment! I tend to tense match but present. I like third person and second person POV too but I can't RP in second person BC it feels weird? I mostly write in second person if I'm writing a vent fic. Why? I dunno

Normal size text, small text, no preference? I like tiny text but again I size match. I snoop to see what my partner does and copy them :D

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉  I am working towards the worst fucking creature. 0/10. I hate him (Innes. Yes he's my discord icon rn why do you ask). If someone else grabs him, hm. Tana? L'Arachel? I had more but I'm gunning for my moron mullet man ngl I have THOUGHTS

[peppermintstarsonamintyway]

This, is definitely overdue.

Alright, hi, hello. Let's talk- as my shittily drawn comic says-

First off, I'm Kaz, I also go by Wolfy, Fifty (from my old tumblr user/tag/whatever), and any variation of Peppermint. One friend who has tumblr as well calls me Pepsi on discord for shits and giggle and another knows my real name. Well, both know, it's just a 50/50 on what they use-

I am a sexuality questioning neurodivergent genderfluid creature, I don't care what pronouns are used for me as long as the person talking to me is comfortable with me.

On here I'll be most commonly showing myself as a kitsune with just, a chalk board on hand. Or, well, paw.

Okay, general blog rules and things to know.

No explicit nsfw. You can send asks being curious about certain habits of my ocs and draw whatever kinda art of them you want (do not touch ANY little ones I will block you so fast), but anything in regards to me myself, absolutely the fuck not.

Oc shipping is perfectly okay with me! Just don't ask about children and keep your fan children to yourself, please and thank you. I do not want asks about my ocs having children in my askbox.

I am VERY much a multishipper, if you see me shipping my ocs with my other ocs, do not assume you can't come in and make an offer of one of your own ocs. Do not be afraid to talk to me about shipping ocs or oc interactions in general.

As long as I'm credited, anyone is more than welcome to use my art for whatever the fuck they want. If it's something questionable, I'd prefer you keep it to yourself, but otherwise, go ahead. Although I'd be surprised if anyone wanted to use my art for anything-

I do NOT. I repeat, do NOT. Take commissions. I'll take requests to draw ocs and other such things, alongside canon characters, but I do NOT take commissions. Requests will really only be sketches, occasionally colored and sometimes legitimately finished because I had the energy for it.

I feel as though this should be obvious, but I'll say it anyways, pro-shippers, racists, lgbtq+phobics, assholes of generally any kind, especially those obsessed with politics, aren't fucking welcome here. This blog is here for me to look at content from people I like and affectionately blast my mutuals with whatever cracked up shit I come up with. If you can't help but be a piece of shit in my safe space, you can go fuck yourself.

Be kind. I don't care who you are, I don't care what you came here for, but if you can't bare to spare a shred of kindness when you talk to me, I don't want you interacting with my blog. You can criticize my art, the way I write, the way I talk, just how much I ramble, but if you can't be nice about it, I'd rather you say nothing at all.

Alright, that should be that.

If you wanna contact me, you can contact me on here through tumblr's messaging system, but you can also contact me on discord at .peppermintstars! If you're gonna friend me on discord, please warn me before you do. I don't have the best experience with randomly being friended and I may end up blocking you on instinct- I do have a twitter although I don't use it so I won't bother linking it until I start using it.

I hope to eventually start streaming sometime this year, be it with or without a 2d or 3d model, so if you wanna support me, you can find me on twitch and youtube!

I'll also give a list of the media I'm into and what you can expect me to be reblogging! Or at least looking at-

Cookie Run! Primarily ocs. (I don't know what the fuck is going on in the story rn and I need to get caught up-)

Persona 5 Royal and in subsequent, the Persona series in general.

Demon Slayer! (Or Kimetsu No Yaiba if you prefer to call it that.)

Pokemon. I like to watch the animes and if I can I'll get whatever new game comes out, even if I get it a bit late-

How To Train Your Dragon! Yes I'm still into HTTYD even years after the first movie came out. That shit ain't going no where.

Honkai: Star Rail and Genshin Impact! Although the interest for these has diminished and isn't ever really consistent, I may as well list them because I either do play them or have played them.

Cult of The Lamb! I like Narilamb. I like Narinder. I've a thing for powerful higher beings in general okay-

Dungeons and Dragons! If you need a dm or an extra player for whatever reason, I am more than open to joining a campaign.

Dark Souls! And other souls-like games from FromSoftware- ties into the D&D thing because I get way too many ideas watching playthroughs of those games.

God of War! Again, the liking of powerful higher beings- also ties into D&D.

The Resident Evil series! Leon Kennedy is hot and Ethan Winters was a good dad.

FNAF! Alongside other such mascot horror games- Poppy Playtime included (mostly just for Dogday.)

Mythology and folklore! Hopefully evident by the fact I chose a kitsune as my persona on here- also connects into D&D again to no one's surprise.

That should be everything I can remember off the top of my head!

That's all, thank you for reading, have a good day, and here's a sleepy kitsune for your troubles!

[aquafalloutmod34]

introduction (^_-)☆

(i have to rewrite this, because when i saved this as a draft, it for some reason didn't save :/ god, i'm gonna have a LOT to paraphrase.) [disclaimer: this is a parody/roleplay account. nothing said on this account reflects my views or opinions, unless stated otherwise. the character being played on this account is fictional.]

the owner of this account is a minor, so if you do not wish to interact with minors, then please block this account. ————————————————————————————— hello!! i'm the account owner, ruben @lu-ben!! this post is an introduction to what this account (and it's purpose) is — a roleplay account!! ; all things said on this account (whether it sounds like a real experience or not, uses real images or not) are said from in-character, unless there is an "ooc:" indication anywhere on the post!! [ in-character posts: #ic | out-of-character posts: #ooc ] — i am a part of @anabananaz34's roleplay!! now, the oc being played as on this account isn't actually a class of '09 oc (it's just a general purpose oc), but me, and by extension, my friends have been BRAINROTTING over this game*, so of course i had to do what i had to do. (the brainrot has been dying out lately, maybe this will help) *note: matter of fact, i actually haven't played class of '09 (or the re-up). i've just watched loads of clips/highlights from the game and did extended research (and even then, i don't know stuff!), so please just keep that in mind :) you'll (probably) come to realise this once you open the cut with my oc's information and image, but i haven't roleplayed with other humans — let alone through tumblr rp accounts — in a VERY LONG TIME (and this isn't an exaggeration, unfortunately). all this time, i've been living off of chatbots. so please cut me some slack if i sound a little stupid when rping!! part of the reason i struggle to rp with other humans is also because i partially tend to feel ignored or excluded, so if you'd prefer i stay out of something, please drop me a dm so i can stay informed!! thank you!! :D —————————————————————————————

on the topic of asks...

you may ask questions to: - iskan (the oc being roleplayed) - ooc/ruben (the owner) you may ask questions as: - yourself (includes self-rp) - a canon class of '09 character - an oc (whether co09/other media/general) i have the right to ignore your ask if: - i cannot come up with a response or answer (some questions directed at iskan may not be applicable, as he might not be fleshed out to that degree, e.g. "what's your favourite country?") - i do not want to answer the question (questions that might be personal, or just rub me the wrong way) - if the contents of the question are straight up weird (i.e. disrespectful, harassment, racist, bigoted, etc.)

i've seen several co09 rp accounts state that they receive (and heavily dislike) weird asks. i'm not gonna fuel your trollery or weird fetishes, because that isn't what this account is for.

————————————————————————————— so, who is this guy, anyways...? ↓

✨ iskandar komnenos ✨

(please forgive me for the roblox faceclaim, i barely have any good drawings of him other than the image used in my pfp 😭😭)

the basic things you really need to know about him is that he's a british-bengali exchange student. as part of a 2-year exchange program, he has to study and graduate at the lbss clone for his 3rd-4th years (junior/senior, so if he was in britain he would've been doing his a-levels. also i'm sorry, i don't know how exchange programs work 😔) i'm like "ehh..." on fanart, but if you wanna do it then go ahead!! (i won't use it for anything, though. will probably just treat it as gallery-work and reblog it under some sort of fanart tag). --- he's kind of a sona or self-insert in some regards, but he isn't meant to be a representation or idealised version of me, so don't hold that shit against me!! 😁 he is very well a fictional character, and an oc!! if you wanna read about him, then i've made an altered version of his description on a google doc BUT IT'S VERY LONG AND UGLY AND CLUTTERED!! (##ISKANDAR'S INFORMATION##) just so you know, the reason some things are written weirdly or in flexible language are because the information was originally intended to be used with ai chatbots, but if this (alongside the account's posts) help you to understand what he's like, then so be it. ————————————————————————————— THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK!! and i hope i'll make a very great addition amongst the drama and chaos :)

[jinx-blackout-84]

AGH I JUST SAW THE ASK GAME THINGY. HI JINX I KNOW I’M LIKE 937475969587473747 YEARS LATE BUT IF YOU STILL WANNA DO IT THEN 💌

OH AND ALSO HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY??? :DDD

HI.

Ok so.

You are one of the first mutuals I ever had and also just genuinely one of the kindest people I have ever interacted with. You have a very mysterious aura about you, and I think you are so so so so so cool. I LOVE your writing and reread your fics like once a week, and could probably quote nebulae at this point. I really like reading your posts you make yourself because sometimes they'll be like "aha it is I, the soup man," with a picture of a glass of mud-water and moss attatched, and sometimes it will be the most poetic, earth shattering, worldview changing, beautiful writing. I love your reblogs, and I love hearing about your fic ideas and listening to you scream about famous writers leaving kudos on your fics.

Ok now imma be poetic for a second.

There's something about you that is so elegant and undiscernable, not quite uncanny, not quite art. It's like standing on the edge of a forest, right at the line where the short-even moved grass becomes a knee-high tangle of weeds and vines, looking into the trees. Fog is thick and silvery, making anything more than 7 feet ahead of you nearly opaque. There is a spiderweb in the corner of your vision, glittering with raindrops, and somehow it's more beautiful than any diamond you could buy. And you see it. It's a deer, with fur so light you would think it was part of the fog. Your eyes must have flicked over it as you scanned the trees in front of you, and it looks directly into your face, though you're not sure how it finds it, with eyes a milky white. It stares at you for a moment, and you almost hear as if you can feel it trying to tell you something. You blink, and it is gone, almost as if it evaporated back into mist. The fog is thicker now, cold on your face as moonlight kisses the tip of your nose.

You go back inside, and you feel as if you know something that you didn't before.

It's something that makes me feel like you're hidden in a long-forgotten church that is full of cobwebs and dust, pews left to rot as vines cover the cushions, hidden in a stained glass window, smiling down at an altar that nobody has visited for what may have been a lifetime.

[frostythelawfullchaotic]

How most ask games look to me

Keep in mind this is entirely me being petty and judgmental about this.

This could be genuinely interesting! :3

Doxx yourselfs!!!

Tell random strangers about your sex life!!! Yayy!!!!

Bunch of romance stuff that doesn't really apply to me

Doxx yourself again!!!

What does half of those even mean??? Are those even words?!

Share your medical history with the class :)

Tell the world about the most traumatic events of your life :)))))

Tell them your triggers. What could possibly go wrong? :))))))

You couldn't waterboard this out of me (non-sexual)

I like this one, but you formulated it in such a bad-faith/suggestive phrasing that I don't want to answer this.

How old do you think I am?!

How old are YOU at this point?! What the hell?!

Did we already mention doxxing?

I am not American enough to answer this.

I'm not even sure who the target audience even IS at this point!!!

Seriously, buy me a coffee first!!!

You could have been a nice person if it wasn't for the internet.

Your question raises more questions than answers.

Is your mom AI generated or what?!

Hey :) How about :))) Doxxing yourself? :)))))))

I'm not even sure if this is legal - and I don't wanna find out!

Please tell me about the parallel dimension you live in. I wanna hear everything about it.

I would need to be dead to answer that!

I changed my mind. You have always been a prick all along.

I wouldn't even say this if you paid me to enact it as a bit for the camera!

I feel sorry for your ancestors.

How many questions does this darn thing even have???

Doxxed today? :))))))))

Skimming through all of my beasteries, lexica, myth collections and demon encyclopaedi because you mentioned a point I was not aware of and now I need to check if that's real or if you're bullshutting me!!!

Why am I still reading this? I could have cleaned the whole house in this time...

Are we still talking real events or is this fiction by now?

Are you real? Am I real? Is anything even real?!

I would love to answer that one if I didn't have to reblog the rest of this horrific nightmare.

I didn't even know that was a thing. Learned something new today.

Yeah yeah, doxx yourself, we've all seen it. Also, your laundry.

This level of pain was unknown to me - and I would have loved to keep it that way! Chapeau!

You would think I'd get used to the second-hand embarrassment by now. But alas! You outdid yourself again!

Why does it never end?! Free me!!!

Wait, I can simply stop reading this.

But what if there's something interesting ahead?

Oh right, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to reblog it anyway.

But I'm still curious.

No I'm not.

Lorem my fucking ipsum motherfuckers.

Cheesecake.

I literally don't care anymore.

You could have stopped reading at point 5.

Why are you still here?

Go! Break your chains! Be free!!!! And never come back to this cursed place again!!!

[thetoaddaddy]

Rules

Lets get serious for a moment

18+ only

NSFW allowed. This isn’t a purely smut rp blog however I don’t mind rping it. Please just ask first beforehand so I’m not blindsided by sudden porn lol.

Any kind of shipping is okay

Friendly/platonic is okay too! No need to strictly lewd the old man

DM me before starting anything long/detailed. So we can hash out some details and get a feel for the interaction. I’m down for pretty much anything but I like a little bit of direction. So we both got a better idea of what we’re going for.

No godmodding or controlling my character(s). Some exceptions exist like dreams or certain ask prompts/games.

Communication is important to me. I will not get annoyed if you reach out to ask if you would like to adjust something or take the thread a certain way. Or need help on the next plot step. In fact I prefer that. Please reach out at any time!

OC and crossover friendly! This includes OCs that are related to him in any way. I love getting to know your OCs

Moots not required. Dms and rps open to all.

Random asks welcome

Willing to rp him at any age so long as if we do so as him as a minor it isn’t sexual.

Darker themes are okay too. Feel free to ask my limits.

He kinky I’m kinky just ask.

Have fun and be yourself. I am not a serious person I like goofin around!

If I don’t reply to you right away don’t sweat it! I am not ignoring you I will reply to you in time.

You can send me a dm if I haven’t replied in a while I may have missed it.

You can reblog memes/ask games from me I don’t mind. I reblog a lot lol.

Unsure how to interact? Go ahead and send in one of those memes or ask games. I will get to it!

If you don’t respect when I give you a fair warning you will be blocked.

If I find for any reason you continuously are disrespectful towards me, the muse, and my writing I will soft block you and will no longer interact with you. I most likely will not explain myself to you and it will be a quiet sever. This is for more underhanded (aka you shady but you aint slick) behaviour I’ve noticed and will not tolerate. If you message me, depending on the message I may reconsider.

Not interested in drama but I do rant sometimes on my blog. Usually pertaining to conduct in the community. I tag em as such since I understand not everyone enjoys that content. I won’t be dragging others into it or name dropping. Usually it’s just throwing in my two cents about something I’ve noticed or experienced. Also i tend to just yammer about my day at times on here. Consult the tags if you dont wanna see ooc posts but it isn’t a very frequent thing.

Threats, hate, disrespect in anon form will be responded with sarcasm or a critique of said behaviour. If it continues I will block it.

Be an okay human being and we will get along just fine! I look forward to getting to know you ❤️

This be a safe space. I love and appreciate you. And correct me if I get ur pronouns wrong I got the memory of a goldfish but I’m doing my best.

[fuwahiko]

Danganronpa ask game:

Send me a pair of characters or a pair of ships and make me choose between them!

[infxrity]

♡ — Waking Them Up In The Middle of the Night to Tell Them About Your Weird Dream

a/n :: long ass title 😕 also I was scrolling through my google docs and remembered I thought of this like months ago. anyways reblog’s are very cool

featuring :: tsukishima kei, oikawa toru, sugawara koshi

warnings :: none

genre :: fluff, does this count as crack

wanna read more of my work? here is my masterlist

OIKAWA TORU !¡

“Psst Oikawa, wake up” You just woke up, the dream you had fresh on your mind and you were desperate to tell someone before you forgot. So you turned to your boyfriend Oikawa Toru, who was currently spending the night, and shook him awake. “Waaaake uuupp” It took a few moments but he finally did, looking up at you squinting and confused.

“[Name] are you okay? What time is it why are you up”

“Nothings wrong and it’s only 4 am, but do you want to hear about the dream I just had?”

He sighed pulling you in close, wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your head. “Go ahead but it better be interesting or I’m going back to sleep.”

Five minutes later and you were still telling Oikawa about your dream. He hadn’t said a single thing and you didn’t even know if he was still awake or if you were just talking to yourself. “...And then the girl finally realized the dogs were her old ones reincarnated so she was running back to the house to stop the police from trying to arrest them and apparently the dogs had powers because when she got there one of them threw a lightning bold at an officer”

“...”

“...don’t ask how.”

“Okay..? And what happened after that I’m invested”

“Well after that I woke up, so I guess we’ll never find out”

“Yeah no, go back to sleep, dream part two and then wake me up when that’s happened. I’m the meantime I’m going back to sleep, Love you”

Before you could even say “I love you too” he was already asleep again.

TSUKISHIMA KEI !¡

“Hey, now that you’re up do you want to hear about the dream I just had?” For the past three minutes you’ve been trying to shake Tsukishima awake, wanting to tell him about the weird dream you just had.

Tsukishima groaned and turned over facing away from you. “No I don’t please go back to sleep”

“Alright then, I’ll just tell it to myself out loud so that you happen to hear it”

He rolled his eyes giving in. “Alright fine, what was your dream? And make it quick it’s to early for this”

A little while later Tsukishima regretted his decision. He enjoyed hearing you talk about it even if he wasn’t acting like he was, however this dream was going on forever. No way you dreamt all this in the span of a few hours. He was trying to stop himself from drifting off and as soon as he almost gave in you were finally done.

“...And then some random girl appeared who was apparently there the whole time explained it was an escape room and they had to use the stuff in the boxes before running out..and then I woke up”

“I can’t believe I listened to that entire dream”

“I know I’m surprised too”

“I’m going back to bed, if you’re gonna stay up then don’t stay up too late”

“Wait don’t you want to hear about the dream I had before it changed to that one?”

“Sorry I can’t hear you I’m already asleep”

SUGAWARA KOUSHI !¡

“Hello?” Sugas tired voice picked up on the other line. You called your boyfriend Sugawara, wanting to tell him about the dream you just had although it was 2 am. You felt a little bad for waking him up this late at night but the desire to tell him about your dream was greater than the guilt.

“Sorry for waking you, but I have this really weird dream I want to tell you about”

He sighed, “this is the third time this week you’ve called me for this reason”

“I knoww and I’m sorry, but if I wait until morning I’ll forget”

“It’s fine they’re entertaining to an extent. Go ahead”

“So basically, this huge baby and even bigger stuffed bear were chasing me around a white room, but all of us were laughing so I’m guessing it was a game of tag or something”

He was silent for a moment. “...Is this some clever way of telling me you want a child”

“Well..no, but now that you mention children,,they’re so cute how can you tell me you don’t want one. If you say you don’t you’re lying-” but before you could even go on a full rant about having a child he interrupted you

“I’m going back to bed and in the morning we’re calling you a therapist. Sweet dreams, love you” before hanging up.

© infxrity don’t steal my work Tris and Bambi are watching

Tag list (open) - @devilgirlcrybabiey @kej1me @sweetlilymammamia @beezebub @animated-moon @p-ol @maipxilia @oikawasbuttcheeks @depressed-but-obsessed @lilies-and-rosies

[mainveyn]

《 unspoken love 》 suna rintarou x reader

wc : 1.3k

genre : soft angst that u guys can handle :)

a/n : finding a divider that match w the picture is much harder than i thought 

series : silent love ▪︎ unspoken love ▪︎ nebulous love ▪︎ ardent love

practice was already over about an hour ago, but you insisted on staying back for free practice by yourself. your captain and teammates are concerned to have you clean up the gym all by yourself but you reassured them. after all, you need to stay back late enough to not cross paths with suna on your way to the school gate. surprisingly, you heard from his teammates that he went home quite early since the past few weeks but you didn't question it. you probably knew the reason already. 

even so, you still tried to avoid him at all costs. you didn't show up at your usual spot for lunch nor did you walk past his classroom anymore. he texted you daily but your replies are short and uninformative at all. you knew he probably noticed it but if he is not mentioning anything, you think it's better this way.

but it's not, not when you missed his presence so much. you missed those days when he walked you home and held your hands to cross the street. you missed him stealing food from your bento when he lied that he only brought chuupet for lunch. you missed him telling you to drop by his class and ask you to tutor him before he has to take an english test in the next two hours. you didn't realize he had involved himself in your life that much that you can never get him out of the picture anymore.

you regret for missing out all the opportunity to clarify your doubt with him. as much as you loved this wordless relationship with him, you didn't expect it'd throw you into the trouble of wandering to yourself just what exactly are you and suna. is he just being nice? does he only think of you as a friend? yeah, you should've asked while you had the chance. but now you can only imagine him rejecting your love when he already have someone in his heart.

the walk to your clubroom was pretty dreadful but you still dragged your feets toward it. the hallways are really quiet and peaceful now, which used to be your favourite place to take a stroll. but now you want nothing more than to quickly change out of your sweaty jersey and go home. you’re reminded of how you're totally off game today in practice as your mind only wanders around the memories of him. disappointment is just an understatement because you can't believe you're losing both the most important person in your life and the sport that you took pride in.

your hand stopped at the doorknob as you lifted your head to stop the tears that were threatening to fall, taking deep breaths in the process. you gave yourself a few minutes to steady your breathing before putting up a facade, trying to act normal again. as if god hates you right now, you caught someone round the corners of the hallway and halted a few metres away from you. and it's definitely the person that you didn't want to see right now. 

"hey," his gaze focused on you entirely, retrieving one of his hands from his pockets to wave at you. you merely gave him a side glance and faked a smile at him. "i'm gonna go get changed first. bye su-" "i'll wait for you," he cuts you off with his unfaltered stare as if he is telling you he won't take no for an answer. you could feel your shoulders tensed up at his stern tone but you knew you can't run from him now.

you didn't expect a confrontation would happen so soon nor are you good at it too so you find yourself shrinking under his stares. an exasperated sigh from you made him move closer to you, but he stopped as you turned to face him fully now. "you don't have to. aren't you supposed to be home early today?" you decided to go against him today, so that it's easier for you to reject his kind offer in the future. you insist it's better this way.

suna averted his eyes to the side for a moment before quickly bringing his eyes back to trace your feature. you didn't look angry or uncomfortable but he didn't miss the sadness swirling in the reflection of your orbs. "did i...make you upset or something? i don't remember i did anything but," he rubbed the nape of his neck out of nervousness before he continued.

“i’m sorry if i did. so stop avoiding me already," his stoic expression remains but you perfectly captured his emerald eyes laced with concern. he did nothing wrong and yet he is here apologizing because he is worried about you. you really didn't have the heart to push him away. probably never.

everything seems normal, like how you guys used to. you both walked in silence, except for the fact that your heart is getting heavier at each step you take. you two walked past the same convenience store, it's neon light sign lightened up the street in the dark just like every other night. suna stood in front of the same junction, eyes scanning for any cars even though the lights flashed green for you both to cross. he does it every time, making sure it's safe for you to cross before offering his hand for you to hold. you expected it so you walked ahead of him, not giving him any chance to do that.

you didn't notice you start picking up your pace as the distance to your house is getting closer. but you do after you feel a firm tug from the sleeve of your jacket. suna gave you an unamused look, but you tried to feint innocence and told him "i'm reallyyyy tired today! just wanna get home and rest." you hoped your smile was convincing enough.

you stiffened at the sight of his annoyed expression because he obviously doesn't believe it. you almost regret letting him into your life too much that he can read you so easily. he didn’t spare you a second and grabbed your hand instantly, ignoring that you tried to retract it and only held his grip on you firmly. the warmth from his palm is so comforting yet it hurts. but you’d exchange anything for his touch, including your heart. 

for the first time, the silence surrounding you two is unbearable. your house is just right in front you, yet he has no intention of letting go. you didn’t have the courage to speak up, just silently giving him side glances. suna looked up to the sky like he was thinking of something to say. you noticed his lips trembled a little so you squeezed his hand, trying to get his attention.

“what’s wrong, suna?” you whispered softly but he still remained in the same position. at this point, you loved him too much that you can’t leave him alone even though you’re hurting under his presence. even if you can’t be with him, you want him to be happy.

he turned to you swiftly, shifting both of his palms to your cheek now and pulled you in closer. you hitched at the sight of his face being just inches away as you balled your fist on his jacket. “y/n,” you watch his eyes drooped into a pleading look, his forehead touching yours now with so much affection. you didn't know what to expect, but you could feel he held back all the words he wanted to tell you before moving away with his shoulders slumped in defeat.

“there’s an important match tomorrow,” he said with his gaze on the floor, shoving his hand into his pocket to hide his nervousness. if you think you’re the only one who is afraid of rejection, then you’re wrong. because suna is afraid too, at least for now. 

“will you come and watch me tomorrow?” you can never say no, not even your heartache will allow you to do so.

reblogs are very much appreciated <3

[ageofcalamityalittletotheleft]

What Is Ancient’s End?

Growing up in the Yiga Clan is all fun and games until the end of the world looms closer. For Lara, that means figuring out where she came from and what her family means to her.

Hello! My name’s Cam (any pronouns), and I’m the co-author of this oddly in-depth, very self-indulgent AU. 

It started out because my girlfriend had a crush on Revali and I am way, way, way too emotionally attached to these characters to just be okay with how Breath of the Wild left everyone. When Age of Calamity came out, we immediately fell in love with the brand new way the story went and, most importantly, the wacky hijinks of the Yiga Clan. We thought to ourselves: hey, these banana guys are super cool, what if we made our own characters part of their weird cult? A whole year, several hours of gameplay, and so much planning later, here we are. 

So what is this thing?

It’s a blog where I’ll be posting fics, updates, shitposts, artwork, and asks related to this storyline and Age of Calamity/BotW in general! 

What’s the general story?

Okay SO-

 We have this Yiga girl, her name is Lara, and she’s the adopted kid of Sooga and Master Kohga. In this universe, we’ve taken the whole Astor and the Yiga Clan thing and turned it upside down in the sense that the Yiga don’t actually care much about Ganon and are really just trying to protect their found family. 

(The best part is this is technically canon, because BotW states that the Yiga are more loyal to their master than they ever were to Ganon. We basically took that and ran with it because Kohga is so cool.)

Without giving anything else away, the best way I can describe the story and what this will be like is this: 

A collection of one-shots from an ongoing and continuously forming AU of Age of Calamity where Kohga and Sooga have a daughter, the rise of Calamity Ganon coincides with the events of Hyrule’s past more than you think, and everything is told mainly from the point of view of the Yiga Clan itself.

Wait, so this is a self insert? 

Yes and no. It started out that way just because we wanted to rp it, but honestly it became so much more. The character we added can technically be called a self-insert, but what is a self-insert if not an OC that you’ve just publicly announced is based on yourself? We all know our OCs are small extensions of ourselves in some way.

Either that or they’re just little bastards we want to study like bugs. 

Where can I read it/how do I get started?

At the moment, the easiest thing to do is go in order of the series on AO3, but eventually when I have the time to organize and decorate this blog, it’ll have tabs specifically for the fics, the artwork, and whatever other random things I decide to include here.

You can find the series here for now!

If you have any other questions, or you wanna send an ask and interact with the story’s inner workings, go right ahead! We have so much of it all planned out already, and if we don’t, you might just end up helping us fix a plot hole, who knows! Please comment, reblog, and ask anything you like! 

Anyway, thank you for reading this, really. We hope you have a great day and enjoy the future of Ancient’s End!

[afriendlyblackhottie]

Surprise, Surprise

Summary: it’s Christmas and the two of you don’t follow the no gifts rule.

Pairings: Chris Evans x Black!Reader

Warnings: smut, swearing, daddy kink, begging, pregnancy sex

(A/N: idk why I’ve been struggling with this Christmas shit. Anyway thanks for reading. Reblog always 💜 ✌🏾)

Tagging: @titty-teetee @blackmissfrizzle @olyvoyl @night-of-the-living-shred @liquorlaughslove @harrysthiccthighss @mariahthelioness29 @whiskey-cokenfanfic @olyvoyl @hqneyyincc @queenoftheworldisdead @iam-laiya @emjayewrites @slytherinandoutasgard @zaddychris

——————————————————————————

“I thought we said no gifts!”

Chris laughed as you handed him the box. It was finally Christmas morning. Little Chris was finally done opening what seemed to be a never ending sea of presents and was happily playing with the remote control car he’d pretty much begged for.

It had taken you a minute to settle on the way you wanted to go about telling him, but you finally figured it out. The shiny red wrapping paper of the little box was hiding the secret you’d been keeping from him for months.

You rolled your eyes with a smile on your face. “You and I both know we weren’t going to listen to that.”

He laughed because it was true. Your heart feeling like it was about to beat out of your chest as you watched him carefully unwrap the gift so he didn’t make a mess.

First he took the note out that you’d put on top of the tissue paper. He mouthed the words, his face softening as he finished before tearing through the rest of the paper. “Seriously?” He asked, his eyes filling with tears as he sniffled.

You nodded, suddenly feeling just as emotional. Your eyes feeling all prickly. You laughed as he looked back down the tears freely falling down his face this time.

“Really?”

You laughed through your own emotional haze. This smile had spread on his face despite the tears. “Yeah.”

Chris pulled you into a hug before kissing you tenderly. He put his hand on your stomach. “How far along are you?” He asked.

“Six weeks.”

He grinne before getting down on his knees so he could place kisses all over your stomach. “Hey, Baby, it’s me your daddy.”

You ran your hands through his hair still crying as he talked to the little jellybean inside of you. “Hey, Bub,” he called Little Chris over who’d been much more busy playing with one of his new toys.

“Yes, Daddy?” He asked before giggling. “Why are you talking to Mommy’s tummy?”

Chris grinned up at you as you did the same down at him. “Come here,” he held his arm out, so he could tuck the small boy into his side. “Mommy has a surprise for you.”

“What is it, Mommy?” He asked looking up at you with those same eyes as his dad and your heart melted.

You sniffled, holding out your arms for him to climb into you. “We love you so much, Bubba.”

“I lub you, too!” He wrapped his little arms around your neck.

You smiled looking at Chris who’s tears had started falling down his face. You pulled him back so you could look into his face. “Mommy is gonna have a baby,” you told the small boy, stroking his wild curls.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” you said.

“Where is it?” He asked in that innocent little voice with his head tilted sideways.

The both of you laughed and Chris scooped the both of you up so you were in his arms. “It’s in your mommy’s tummy,” Chris said.

“Oh.” He wrinkled his nose. “I want a brudder.”

“We don’t know what we’re having yet, Babe,” you said leaning into Chris. You wanted to be close to him. Needing to feel him against you.

“You’re gonna be a big brother soon, Bub. Isn’t that exciting?” Chris said.

Little Chris nodded. “Yeah. Can I go play with my toys now?”

His father just laughed before kissing his cheek. “Go ahead.”

Once he’d climbed down and scurried off to play, Chris kissed you so sweetly. “I kind of hope it’s a girl,” Chris said with a chuckle.

“Me, too.” You smiled softly. “Then we can be over with it.”

“You wish. We’re going to have a football team full of kids.”

You shook your head. “You wish.”

“You just wait and see.” He chuckled. You sniffled before leaning over to kiss his lips again. He laid down with you holding you in his arms so snug. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just hormones.”

“It’s okay, Baby,” he said, with a sigh before kissing your forehead. “I got you. I love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

He chuckled. “It’s not possible. Now open your gift,” he said with a a smirk as he got up to get the box he’d hidden behind the tree. There was this purse he knew you’d wanted. He was planning on giving you your real gift later.

—————

You’d made the rounds at his mom’s and your parents. Not wanting to say anything about the baby yet. Wanting to keep it your little secret for awhile. Little Chris didn’t even let it slip after you’d told him that it was a game and that he couldn’t tell anyone.

Chris was so attentive all day. Not that he usually isn’t, but today especially. Like he didn’t want you to lift a finger. Always kissing you and touching you.

Except even though he kept trying to find the right moment to do what he wanted, he kept getting nervous. It never felt like the right time. His nerves were getting the best of him.

You were exhausted when you got home. Little Chris had fallen asleep in his car seat. Pooped from all the festivities of the day. So you and Chris got ready for bed.

Chris pulled you close from behind, covering you with the comforter. He trailed his fingers up and down your arm before kissing your shoulder. “If we have a girl we should name it after you.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “No.”

“What? I like your name,” he said. “I got my mini me. You could have one, too. Y/N is a beautiful name.”

“I’m glad you think so, but no.” You turned so you could face him. You stroked his cheek, his facial hair tickling your hand. “We’ll come up with some names later.”

As he looked into your eyes there was this feeling in his chest. Maybe it was your hands on him. Or how cute you looked in your pajamas. Or the softness of your voice. The love in your eyes.

“Hey I forgot that I have another present for you,” he said softly.

“So much for no presents,” you said with a laugh.

Normally he would have laughed along with you, but he was trying not to lose his nerve again. “C’mon. It’s in the living room.”

“Do we have to? I’m comfy.” You pouted.

“Lazy girl.” He kissed your cheek before sitting up.

He led you to the living room. Turning on the lights on the Christmas tree. You sat down, but he grabbed your hands to pull you up again.

“I know you’re tired, but I need to do this. While I have the nerves to do it.”

You laughed. “What?”

He sighed. “Yeah... Okay so I know we haven’t been perfect, but I love you. I wouldn’t want to spend my life with anyone else or have kids with anyone else. Baby, I really don’t know how I could ever begin to pay you back for everything you’ve ever done for me.” He sniffed, but as your tears fell he put his hands on your cheeks to wipe them away. “Don’t cry. I hate seeing you cry.”

“It’s hormones,” you replied, waving your hand in the air with a laugh.

He chuckled. “God I love you. I don’t care that we have haven’t always been perfect.” He sighed before finally getting down on his knee. “Because you’re perfect for me, Baby, and I want you to marry me.”

You covered your mouth with one hand, nodding your head. He slid your ring on before standing up to hug you. You wanted to tell him yes, but you couldn’t help it as you cried into his chest.

He held you tightly. “I love you,” you sobbed.

“I love you, too,” he replied he leaned down to kiss you and you wrapped your arms around his neck. You were hungry for his touch. Already tugging at his shirt. He helped you take it off before kissing you again.

“Oh, Daddy,” you whimpered.

Once your clothes came off, he laid you in front of the tree. He kissed down your body, paying special attention to your stomach. “You’re gonna have my baby,” he said with a grin.

He finished his trail before kissing your thighs then got on his knees because fuck he wasn’t waiting anymore. He needed you bad. He rubbed your clit with the head of his dick. Making you have to bite your lip as you looked into his eyes.

“Fuck, Iove that fake innocent look on your face,” he breathed as he moved to your slit rubbing up and down.

You laughed. “Why fake?”

“Baby, you probably got pregnant while I was calling you a nasty slut and that I wanted to put my baby in your tight cunt,” he laughed. “You’re far from innocent. I just like how you still make that cute face.” He put his free hand on your face, before leaning down to carefully kiss you. “Do you want to move to the couch? I want you to be comfortable.”

“I wanna have sex in front of the Christmas tree.” You pouted.

“Have you been thinking about this?”

“Maybe.” You looked up at him with that innocent face he was just talking about. Your brow furrowed with your lip all pouty. Your eyes all big.

He chuckled. “My nasty little wife.”

There was something about him saying that, that made you need him right now. “Daddy, will you please fuck me. I need it.”

“Yeah?” He finally started to push his tip into you. “How bad?”

You whimpered. “Really bad. My pussy needs you.”

“Yeah?” He pushed into you a little more. “You’re gonna have to be real quiet for me.”

You nodded. “I’ll be good.”

“You’re always my good girl,” he said as he finally pushed all the way into you. You gasped scratching at his biceps. He hadn’t wanted to get on top of you like he wanted. He was too afraid to hurt you.

He could tell how hard you were trying to keep quiet. Thinking to himself that he’d have to get you away from here at some point so he could fuck you right. Where you could be as noisy as you wanted to be. “Daddy, please,” you whimpered.

“What do you want?” He asked.

“Harder.”

One of the things he’d missed about you being pregnant with CJ was how you’d beg for him. You were insatiable as it is, but when you were pregnant it was like he didn’t even know what got into you. It was almost like you couldn’t control yourself. He knows every pregnancy is different, but that was one thing that hopefully stayed the same.

He moved his hips a little harder. Short of pounding into you. “Fuck me hard,” you begged. “I need it.”

He groaned giving him trying to be careful because fuck if you were begging, he would happily give it to you. He started pounding into you. Grabbing your thigh so he could hold it up to go deeper. Your pussy hugged his dick as you tightened around him.

“Just like that,” you whispered before covering your mouth to hold your noises in.

“Yeah you like it when Daddy fucks you hard, huh?” He asks.

“Uh huh.” You grabbed your tits so you could pinch your nipples. They were so swollen and sensitive. He leaned down so he could take care of them himself. “Yes!”

“Shut the fuck up,” he groaned. You were so wet and felt so good. If he had it his way you’d be makin all the noise you wanted.“Don’t make me tell you again.”

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when he said that. God you loved when he took control like this. Why was your man so damn hot. He was making you lose your mind. “Oh, fuck,” you gasped. “I’m cumming.”

“That’s it, Baby. Be a good wife and cum for me.”

You mewled making him need to cover your mouth while he fucked you through your orgasm. Pussy juices soaking him. The way you were tightening around him was pushing him to the edge.

Normally Chris had no issue hanging on for you to have more orgasms, but the way your pussy was hugging him was making him reach is point, too. All he could think about was how he loved fucking your pregnant pussy. About how he was finally going to make you his wife. How fucking good your cunt felt.

About how once you had this baby he’d fuck you pregnant all over again. How he was planning to keep putting baby after baby inside of you. “Ah, fuck,” he groaned before finally letting go.

He kept shoving himself into you because in his mind he still needed to breed you. It didn’t matter that he already had. The lighting from the tree making you look like all ethereal. He rolled off quickly coming to lay beside you.

Breathing all heavy with a smile on his face. “We should probably get to the room. Don’t want CJ waking up to this.” He chuckle leaning over to kiss you.

You hummed, rolling to your side to put your head on his shoulder. “Mhm,” you yawned.

He smiled. “Need me to carry you?”

You nodded already starting to doze off. He kissed your forehead before standing up then reached back down to scoop you into his arms. You rested your head on his shoulder, yawning. When he laid you down in bed he tucked you in before disappearing back into the living room to pick up your clothes.

When he came back to climb into bed with you, you threw your arm over his waist and got all snuggled into him. “Hey, so I was kind of thinking,” he said.

“Mhm.”

“How do you feel about us eloping?”

[mrs-miya]

truth or drink → friends with benefits edition

warning: not proofread; alcohol/drinking; mentions of sex and threesome.

genre: angst if u rly squint; fluff; slight suggestive

a/n: reblogs and feedback are appreciated! i had this idea yesterday when was about to sleep lol. i kinda rushed into this as well..? i wanted to post something writing related here hhh

atsumu: i’m atsumu

y/n: and i'm (y/n)

together: we’re friends with benefits!

the two of you laughed before looking at the director to ask if you can drink before the game starts.

y/n: can we? i feel terribly nervous about this.

“go ahead.”

you raised your shot glass as atsumu raised his, clanking it together before drinking the whiskey.

“how did you two meet each other?”

y/n: college. it was our first year and we both had the same class. we never really... conversed that much before unless it’s school-related.

atsumu: she was always present at my club mate’s parties, i’m gonna be honest here, i never really took her as a partygoer until i saw her dancing shamelessly with her friends. nothing indecent, it was actually funny because she doesn’t have any moves.

y/n: hey-!

seeing your reaction, atsumu let out a laugh causing you to pout at him.

“how long have you been friends with benefits?”

atsumu: almost 2 years now. started when we were in our last year of college.

atsumu: you ready for the first question?

he glanced at you for your approval before grabbing a card from a container.

atsumu: what should we call our relationship?

y/n: like i- we said, we’re friends with benefits!

atsumu only laughed at your answer.

y/n: rate my- oh wow, this early in the game?

you looked at the stage crew then to atsumu who seems to be clueless at the current situation

atsumu: go on, rate your what?

you shook your head, trying not to cringe at the question that you’re going to ask out loud.

y/n: rate my performance in bed...

atsumu stared at you for a millisecond, processing the question in his mind. then, with a smirk on his face, he folded his arms and looked at the camera.

atsumu: oh that’s easy. she’s an 11— 11/10. i wanna say a bigger number but it might sound cheesy.

y/n: when was the last time you’ve slept with a person that’s not me?

atsumu: 3 years ago, at suna’s party.

y/n: that was before we had... this relationship. You’ve never really slept with anyone else recently? or last year?

atsumu shook his head, smiling at you.

atsumu: you?

y/n: well i don't think i did. unless i was too drunk to remember – hopefully that didn’t happen.

atsumu: as far as i know, it didn’t.

y/n: oh, well, thank God.

atsumu grabs a card and his eyebrows perked up at the question he’s now going to ask

atsumu: oh~ this is an interesting question.

y/n: you’re making me nervous, tsum.

he looks at you, a smirk formed on his face as he read the question outloud.

atsumu: have you ever thought about having a threesome with me and a friend?

now it was your turn to get flustered, you held up your palms and covered your face to it, contemplating if you’re going to drink to it or not.

y/n: well, i’d be lying if i said i haven’t.

atsumu: really? with who?

y/n: yeah. but to answer your second question, i’m going to drink to that.

atsumu leaned back on his chair, groaning at your answer. he makes a mental note to pester you about it later.

y/n: now it's my turn to ask a spicy question.

atsumu: ask it away, ’m not afraid to answer ‘em.

y/n: yeah you never drank to a question.

y/n: anyway, name your favorite and least favorite place we had sex in.

atsumu: hmm, my favorite would be the kitchen counter. but my least favorite...

he dragged out the last word, shaking his head at the same time.

atsumu: i can’t believe i’m going to do this...

atsumu takes the shot glass beside him, drinking the whiskey in one go.

y/n: hey, if it makes you feel better i wouldn’t answer that too!

when atsumu picked the top card, he let out a sigh as he mentally read the question.

atsumu: are you afraid of commitment?

y/n: you know full well i’m not.

you gave him a soft smile.

“how about you atsumu?”

atsumu: ... before, yes. i was afraid of commitment, like really afraid of it. but now... i’ve been thinking about it and maybe it doesn’t sound so bad.

atsumu let out a quiet chuckle, avoiding your eyes.

y/n: this is why 2 of his exes left him.

atsumu: hey now, those are all in the past!

y/n: after a few months of being friends with benefits with him, i asked him a question - only out of curiosity. i asked him if we could be... something more and he said that he doesn’t see us being ‘something more.’ it’s understandable, honestly, considering the relationship we’re in.

you smiled at the card in front of you before looking at atsumu.

y/n: do you think i love you?

atsumu: i do. in fact, i’ve known for a while, not to sound too cheesy but i can see it through your eyes. it shines differently than when we started.

a small gasp came out of you before mumbling a “how?” to yourself.

“what about you (y/n)? do you think atsumu loves you?”

the way you’re playing with your fingers as a sign of nervousness didn’t go unnoticed by atsumu.

y/n: i’m not sure, to be honest. sometimes, i feel like he loves me and wants us to be ‘something more.’ but when i think about that, i also think about what he said a year ago. i don’t know..! he makes me confused.

you covered yourself with a laugh, hoping you weren’t assuming the wrong things.

a woman from backstage handed you two cards, one for each of you.

y/n: this is the last question right?

the woman nodded at you before leaving the set. you gestured atsumu to go first, his mind preparing for what’s about to be asked and answered. he took a short breath before flipping the card to read the question

atsumu: do you love me?

y/n: now that the cat’s out of the bag... yes, i love you.

atsumu: okay... your turn.

the set was still, the two of you talking to each other almost in whispers. as you flipped your card, you suddenly felt like your stomach was filled with butterflies.

you bit your lip in agitation before looking at atsumu.

y/n: it’s— it’s the same question.

atsumu positioned himself properly, both arms on the table. he exhaled as he gazed at you longingly.

atsumu: if you think i don’t... then you’re wrong. i love you too. probably more than how i think i do.

extra:

y/n: did you just ask me out? in a video?

atsumu: i guess so. i can ask you out again later if you want.

you both let out a hearty laugh causing the stage crew to laugh with you.

y/n: i’m gonna come over later and we’re gonna talk about this properly.

atsumu: come over? just live with me, most of your clothes are there anyway.

y/n: are you now asking me to move in with you..?!

[theasstour]

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟏𝟓.𝟔𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐚, 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭

A/N: Hiya my lovelies ❣️ I’ve been thinking about this for a while and some of you might have seen it coming, but this will be the last chapter that I post of Bloodsport on Tumblr! The lack of interaction when posting on here and Wattpad has been very discouraging and it’s not fun posting on here anymore tbh, and that’s what posting fic’s supposed to be. It’s supposed to be fun! And don’t start with the fucking “write cos you love it not cos you want reader interaction” lmao, cos we’ve been over it and I wouldn’t have gotten a degree in literature and creative writing if I thought writing was a chore. Of course, those that DO reblog and send me asks literally make my entire day and I cannot begin to tell you how much you mean to me ✨ You have my entire heart!!! I’ll still be posting on Patreon, and a chapter will be made available each week for those that still wanna read BS, meaning you don’t have to be a patron to read the chapters! I’ll publish each week for everyone to read at 9pm GMT each Sunday and then link it on the masterlist here, tho my darling patrons will still naturally be two chapters ahead! Anyway, thank you so much to those that have interacted with BS and me over the last few months and hopefully will continue to do so all the way till October! Love you ❣️

Wednesday, 17 October 2018

“You working Friday?” Isla asked as she appeared on Y/N’s phone screen. Y/N had been in the middle of doing some uni work when Isla had FaceTimed her, her head pounding after hours of concentrating on an essay she had to finish by the end of October.

“Why?”

“’Cause I am,” she answered, beaming at Y/N who smiled back.

“Yeah, I’m working,” Y/N said, pulling the strap of her pink-black fluffy cami up her shoulder. “Also working Saturday and Sunday.”

“Aww,” Isla said, pouting now. “You can’t go to the Uno Society and a library sesh later on in the weekend?”

Y/N shrugged. “Depends on how tired I am, but I’ll probably want to sleep in a bit if I’m gonna stay up until 3am driving around Hackney delivering pizza.”

“I’ll just stay home and finish this sodding essay,” Isla said.

“You can go to the library by yourself, babe,” Y/N reminded her, putting her phone up against her laptop screen so she wouldn’t have to hold it.

“I know, but I just cannot be asked.”

A noise came from under Y/N’s door, and when she looked in the direction of the slight disruption, she saw a very familiar sight. Trying not to grin like a madman in front of the camera so Isla could see and demand to know what was happening, Y/N ducked out of sight as she got the note and read it quickly.

Come to my room.

H x

She smiled and put it down on the desk beside her laptop, looking at Isla who was in the middle of putting her hair up and away from her face. Though she wanted to go to Harry, she couldn’t just abandon Isla, especially not when she had called like this, clearly wanting some company.

“Have you talked any more to Mason, then?” Y/N asked her, trying to finish the sentence she had started on before Isla had called her.

“W-Why would I talk to Mason?”

Y/N tried not to smile, shrugging her shoulders as she tried to come up with the correct words to use to sound as much of an obnoxious academic as she possibly could. “You two seem to get along, just wondered if that was the case.”

“We haven’t really talked much since the rugby game,” she admitted.

“Why not?”

“’Cause he hasn’t messaged me and I don’t wanna be the one to message first.”

Y/N cocked her head to the side, reading the sentence she had just written in full before she answered Isla. “I’m sure that if you text him first, he’s gonna be ecstatic.”

There was a slight noise under Y/N’s door again, and when she looked this time, it was the same sight that greeted her. She leaned down, picked up the note, and smiled a little to herself.

Hello??? I can hear you.

“What if he finds me annoying for it?” Isla asked.

“How could he?”

“Well…” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I just dunno if that’s the kind of thing Mason likes. Do you know? You’ve known him for a while.”

“Not in that sense,” Y/N said. “He hasn’t really told me what he likes when talking to girls. He keeps his romantic life a well-hidden secret.”

Isla sighed. “Then I’m just gonna have to wait.”

“I can make him text you.-“

“-No, don’t make him do it, he’ll chicken out.”

“You dunno that.”

“I have a hard time imagining Mason doing something someone’s told him to do,” Isla said.

“Unless it’s you telling him.”

Isla’s cheeks suddenly grew very red and Y/N laughed just as another note slid under her door. She felt herself laughing a little more at the sight of it. Part of her liked the fact that she was keeping Harry waiting, while the other just wanted to run off to his room. After all, he had been the one to initiate them meeting in his room this Wednesday.

I’m impatient.

Yes, you are, Y/N thought to herself, putting the note down along with the others on her desk. She looked up at Isla as she buried her face down in a book, and Y/N laughed some more at that.

“I won’t talk to him about messaging you, Isla. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you.”

“But will you initiate the conversation then? Men like it when we take the first step. Or so I’ve heard.”

Her phone suddenly vibrated with a notification.

Harry

Check under your fucking door

And a second later:

Harry

Xx

She tried not to chuckle.

“Isla, I’ve gotta go, I gotta finish this paragraph before I make myself some dinner, but we’ll chat, yeah?”

Isla nodded. “Yeah, we will.”

“See ya.”

“Love you.”

Y/N smiled. “Love you, too.”

The two of them hung up, and Y/N made sure the last sentence she wrote made sense before she closed her phone and got up. As soundlessly as she managed, she opened her door and stepped out, then slowly closed it behind her to make as little noise as possible. Harry must have been standing at his door waiting for any sign of her arriving soon, because he opened his door just as slowly as she had, looking at her where she just stood about to knock.

She blinked at him. “Did you dye your hair?”

Harry was quiet for a few seconds. “What?”

She pointed to the top of her head. “There’s… You have some grey hairs there.-“

“-What?” Harry sprang out of his room and to the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror there. He furrowed his brows as he studied it, plucking a few of them out. “What the fuck…”

Y/N just looked at him as he stood there in the bathroom, clearly having a bit of a mental breakdown. Though a few grey hairs at their age did not mean anything, that was not just a simple single grey hair. Those were quite a few of them. How had he not noticed them earlier that day? Or before? Had they been there before but they just hadn’t noticed?

“Just like mum,” he mumbled.

“Harry, having a few grey hairs-“

But the shock of the hair was suddenly put on hold as Harry walked back for her. He pulled her inside all the while mumbling something under his breath, probably cursing to himself as if he could not quite believe how long it had taken her to just bloody get here. She giggled, taking the time to look around Harry’s room as he closed and locked the door behind her. His walls were white and his carpeted floor grey, and though their beds were the same queen size, their rooms were actually quite different. Though Harry dressed in relatively dark clothing, his room was draped in very light colours. Where Y/N’s bed was placed horizontally and against the far wall and window, Harry’s was placed vertically, giving him small space to move around beside his bed. His desk was at the foot of his bed and a small dresser to the left of the door. Bedsheets of white, a knitted throw blanket and in a relaxing beige colour lazily draped over it, while the multiple pillows he had by the top of his bed were all either white, pink, or orange.

Though they were not allowed, Harry had also put stuff up on his wall. Most were drawings and sketches of houses or people, while he also had his dissertation outline hung over his desk and his timetable. Most notably was the bisexual flag hung over his bed, a small string of LED lights hanging along its edges to light it up properly. Other than that, the only light in Harry’s room was the lamp on his desk. He too seemed to detest the horrid white light of the ceiling lamp.

While she was in the middle of familiarising herself with Harry’s room, someplace she had never been before, she felt something creep up around her waist. Harry pulled her to him and she felt him groan into her neck, the vibrations of it shooting straight for her nipples and lower tummy. She felt his teeth against her skin, nibbling slightly before he started kissing his way up her neck, not leaving a single millimetre untouched. She closed her eyes, lips tugging upward into a smile as she melted into him, placing her hand on top of his where they rested on her stomach.

“What took you so fucking long?” he said, pressing his crotch against her arse.

“I was talking to Isla,” Y/N said, resting her head back against his shoulder as he started kissing down her shoulder.

“And that was more important than coming here and shagging me?”

She chuckled, but the laughter quickly died on her tongue as Harry’s hands came up to cup her tits, squeezing her through her shirt. The reaction was instant for the both of them; a sigh of relief leaving Y/N and a shaky breath from Harry’s mouth brushed past Y/N’s ear. It was then that she truly felt how deprived she was of him; how her entire body had been growling for him, starving until finally she was being fed again. She felt it all over herself, the tension that had been in her body from weeks of being busy with uni work, it all vaporised as the two of them pressed against one another, their bodies getting ready for what was to come.

Harry led them to his bed where he beckoned Y/N to lay down. She did, turning around on her back just as Harry was unbuttoning his loose short-sleeved shirt. He had gotten a new big tattoo on his shoulder; a red rose with a woman’s face in it. It was such a pleasant surprise to see more of his body tattooed up that it almost took her by surprise when Harry took her legs and spread them so he could fit more easily between her thighs. Suddenly he was on top of her and they were kissing, wasting absolutely no time in completely devouring each other.

She didn’t think she would ever get tired of kissing Harry. Despite having next to zero proper experience in bed, he was a decent kisser and often made her forget that they were only doing all of this because he wanted to get better sexually. Once he felt confident enough, they were going to pretend all of this had never happened. But as he bit onto her bottom lip and sucked lightly on a spot along her neck, their deal was not a part of Y/N’s thought process at all. In fact, she stopped thinking the second he put his lips on her body.

“How do you want me today?” he asked between kisses, his hand travelling under her top and cupping her tit, pinching her nipple slightly.

She moaned into his mouth. “Fuck me from behind.”

He opened his eyes slightly to look at her, but went back to kissing her almost instantly. “Fuckin’ hell, Y/N.”

“What?”

“The way you talk drives me bloody insane.”

She grinned just as Harry tugged at the hem of her shirt, asking her if it was okay for him to take it off. Instead of waiting for him to do it, Y/N reached down and ripped it off, leaving her chest bare to him. He let out a small whimpery sigh as his eyes landed on her boobs, staring at them as if he had not seen them before.

“But,” she started, making Harry meet her eyes. “I want you to improvise.”

He blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Try and do something I haven’t taught you.”

He thought for a second before he nodded. “Yeah, alright.”

She pulled him down to her then, kissing him again as she reached for his trousers, undoing the buttons and zipper so he could get them off. Anticipation and excitement filled Y/N from the tip of her head to the very edge of her toes. Though she loved being with Harry no matter what, the thought of him doing something to her that he had not before made something inside her tingle. She let her hands roam his body, taking in each one of his curves, the broadness of his shoulders, the swell of his bum. In that second, Y/N was sure that she could lay like that and kiss Harry for hours without needing to actually have sex. This was hot enough.

Harry suddenly got up and motioned for her to turn around to lay on her stomach. She did as he told her, looking over her shoulder at him as he got up from the bed to walk around to look at her from behind.

“On your knees.”

She bit her bottom lip, her centre aching with the need for him. Doing as she was told, Y/N got up onto her knees, resting her elbows on Harry’s bed still. She tried to keep her eyes on him, but he suddenly disappeared from view. Furrowing her brows, she was about to stand up to look about the room, but it was then that she felt it. Harry’s lips were on her right arsecheek, kissing along the edge of her knickers. With his left hand, he kneaded her other arsecheek, squeezing it and holding it in his hand until he suddenly let it slap against her. The sensation sent an immense wave of heat throughout Y/N’s body and she gasped, not having expected that from him.

“Was that okay?” he asked hurriedly. “Did it hurt?”

She smiled. “No, it didn’t hurt.”

“Did you like it?”

“Do it again.”

That must have been all it took, because Harry got down to work right away. He spanked her arse again, this time putting a little more force into it, and Y/N found herself moaning at the vibrations it sent through her. He kissed the spots where his hand had just landed, sucking lightly as he brought his other hand down on the other side of her bum. She gripped the bedsheets, arching her back as her core began to pulsate almost painfully with want.

“You look so fucking good like this,” he said, squeezing her buttocks. “Your arse up. All for me.”

She let out a breath, looking over her shoulder at him.

“Only thing that’s not as it should be now is that your cunt’s covered up.” He bent down again, planting a kiss to the back of her thigh, his nose gracing the wetness that pooled at her underwear. His breath on it made her bite her bottom lip from gasping, and it did not help when he brought his hand up, finger tracing the edge of her knickers until they came to rest at her wet core. “I want to bury my face between your beautiful thighs so fucking badly, Y/N, you have no idea.”

Without meaning to, she let a moan pass from between her lips as she felt Harry push a finger past the edge of her knickers. He slid it over her cunt, feeling her out, making her already aching core hurt even more with the need for his cock. Involuntarily, she moved into his touch, wanting to feel more of him; wanting him to just fucking penetrate her. But he just slid his finger over her, wanting to know that every single part of her was wet and ready for him.

“Fuck me,” she begged.

“You want that?”

“Yes.”

“You want me to fuck you from behind, baby?”

Baby. She nodded.

Quickly, he pulled her knickers off and got up to get a condom. She listened to him as he pulled it on and looked behind at him when he finally positioned himself behind her, one hand on his erection and the other on her arse. He slowly pushed himself into her, making Y/N gasp, her right hand flying up to rest at the wall in front of her as if to steady herself, the other one gripping the bedsheets tightly.

It was just then that the door beside Harry’s opened. Y/N’s heart stopped. The both of them stopped and looked in the direction of Harry’s door. Nathan could be heard whistling along to a song from The Book of Mormon, and Y/N hoped that he was listening to that exact song on his headphones in that moment. She hoped that he had not heard anything that had gone on inside Harry’s room just now. Surely those spanks had been loud enough to carry through walls.

Y/N and Harry looked at one another, silently agreeing to not make any more noise. At least not loud noise.

Once they were sure that Nathan was downstairs, Harry started moving, slowly at first but steadily bringing the speed up a bit. He gripped her hips and she moved into him, the two of them working together in order to create the best possible orgasm for the other. His hands on her dug into her skin, and though it kind of hurt, she did not care. She liked it when he cared more for their climax than if he was holding her alright, because ultimately she only wanted to orgasm. How she got there and how quickly she got there often came to be determined by how roughly he handled her. And she knew she liked it, but it seemed that Harry had started to as well.

“Try fucking me quickly, then a few slow and deep strokes, and then quickly again,” Y/N said, keeping her voice low. “Change the pace up.”

“Alright,” he panted.

Doing as she said, he kept up his pace for a few more seconds before he suddenly slowed down, moving into her with rolling hips like she had taught him. His strokes were deep and Y/N felt her eyes flutter shut, her nails scraping against the wall. He went back to fucking her at the same pace, but now that Y/N had made him aware of it, he changed up the pace and found new rhythms that fit him and them. She loved how he dared to explore when she encouraged him.

He pounded into her, not holding back on anything as the raw hunger of the two of them tipping over the edge together got him high. Y/N’s gentle sway of her hips met Harry’s halfway and she could hear him having a hard time breathing properly behind her. Just then, Harry found a pace that had the tingling sensation in Y/N’s core spark up, threatening to take over every single little piece of her.

“Harry,” she moaned. “Don’t fucking stop.”

He moaned her name back, his hand coming to give her arse a firm slap again.

“Keep doing that,” she said, voice breathless. “That’s it.”

He continued to do exactly what he had been doing when Y/N told him to not stop, and she could tell that he was struggling not to come first. Ever since their first proper time together, Y/N could tell that all Harry really wanted to do was make sure he had pleased her properly before he himself could climax. Though she wanted for him to come as well, she appreciated how much he cared about her experience as well. She continued to push into him as he pounded into her, trying not to make too much noise, but it was hard when it felt this fucking good. Because – oh, my life – did this feel good. Y/N had had good sex before, but this was something else. She had no idea what kind of effect Harry had on her, but she knew that she was undeniably, and maybe even a little embarrassingly, weak for him.

She felt her core heat up until suddenly everything inside her exploded. It was hard to keep silent as she orgasmed and she hoped she did an alright job, because she completely lost all sense of anything in those blissful seconds that Harry continued to pound into her to work her through her climax. He came almost instantly after her, not able to hold himself back any longer. His hips moving at a rhythm that was very unlike what he had done only seconds earlier.

The two of them stayed like that, only panting and smiling to themselves at the thought of everything they had just done. Y/N’s bum felt a little sore, but she quite enjoyed the feeling and knew that she would not be opposed to Harry doing exactly that again sometime.

“Doggy style,” Harry said, voice still breathless. “Check.”

Y/N laughed, looking over her shoulder as Harry pulled out of her, his dimples and eye crinkles on full display as they just glanced at one another. She felt something unfamiliar in the pit of her stomach just then, but thought that it was most likely just the effect of being pleasantly surprised by how kinky Harry could be if he really wanted and how this time the sex had actually been much better than that first time. Yeah. That was it. That was why the feeling felt so new.

She watched him pull his condom off and throw it away, and by the time she had put her knickers back on again, she had forgotten about what she had felt a few seconds earlier.

Monday, 22 October 2018

Zizzi was one of Y/N’s favourite restaurant chains. The food was always delicious, and the atmosphere was so cosy and warm she swore she could spend literal hours at any of their restaurants and not want to leave. Though she had never tasted true Italian pizza, she suspected it tasted close to what they served there and until she got to travel there, she would eat at Zizzi and pretend she was seated on a corner restaurant in Rome.

Y/N was sipping her Coke Zero as Thian texted away on his phone, both Annalise and Hayden watching him with keen eyes as they waited for him to tell them what the text said. The restaurant around them was rather empty. Well, as empty as any restaurant in One New Change in the middle of City of London could be on a Monday evening.

“She says they’re right around the corner,” Thian said, putting his phone away before he reached for his Fanta, taking a huge gulp before he focused back on his friends around him.

“’They’?” Annalise asked.

“That part had me halting a bit as well,” Thian said.

“It was just supposed to be the gang,” Hayden mumbled, frustration bubbling up in their otherwise calm and collected demeanour. Y/N didn’t think she had ever seen Hayden properly angry, they were always so level-headed. “It was just supposed to be the five of us.”

“Maybe it doesn’t mean anything,” Annalise chimed in, always choosing to see the best in everyone. “Maybe Thian read it wrong.”

“I literally study the English language; I would comprehend the difference between ‘I’ and ‘we’.”

“Still doesn’t mean you can read things wrong every once in a while,” Y/N said, earning Annalise a smile who seemed to have a hard time keeping her giggles in when Thian groaned and pulled his phone out again, admitting that he could’ve read all wrong.

“Nope,” he said, agitation evident in the way he forcefully shoved the phone back in his coat pocket. “Definitely says ‘we’.”

“How are we supposed to hang out as a gang, something we haven’t done just the five of us in ages, when her barmy boyfriend’s gonna tag along?” Hayden crossed their arms over their chest.

“Man’s mad as a bag of ferrets,” Thian sighed. “Y/N, you won’t believe what he did the other day when he came over-“

“-Thian, you’re so funny,” Annalise laughed, but her laugh was forced, eyes fixed on something just behind where Thian and Hayden were seated. Thian whipped around just in time to see Chloe and Graham walking up to their table, the biggest smile plastered on Chloe’s face as she waved at them with one hand, the other holding Graham’s. Her boyfriend scanned the room around them as he ran a hand through his short blonde hair, as if checking for people that would somehow recognise him. Chloe’s eyes fell to the single free chair right opposite Y/N, the one meant for her, and her smile faltered a bit.

“What about Graham?” she asked, looking around the table as she waited for answers.

“We thought it would only be the gang,” Thian answered earnestly, making Chloe stare at him blankly.

“I thought you knew Graham would come as well.”

Thian tilted his head to the side, seemingly not having blinked for a few minutes. “Is he part of our gang now?”

“You lot ready to order?” their waitress asked, smiling at all of them.

“Could we get an extra chair here, please?” Chloe asked.

“Of course!” The waitress ran off and appeared a few seconds later with a chair for Graham. “You know what you wanna eat, then?”

Though Chloe and Graham had just arrived, they took a look through the menu as everyone else around the table ordered their food. Y/N got a strozzapretti pesto rosso, a dish that, after many visits to the Zizzi restaurant near her in Nottingham, had become her favourite there. Chloe and Graham took their time ordering, but Y/N understood them not settling on one when they had just arrived, so she didn’t bother getting annoyed about it like Thian and Hayden were. Annalise and Y/N sat back in their chairs, waiting until the waitress was walking away to zone back into what was going on on their table.

Everyone stayed quiet for a few seconds, waiting for someone else to spark up the conversation, to mention something funny, to make everything less awkward. No one did. Y/N knew Thian and Hayden would be silent out of pure spite and Annalise didn’t feel comfortable talking around Graham anymore, so she guessed she was the one that had to do it.

“I was thinking about the concert in January last night,” she said, clearing her throat and glancing at everyone as she talked. “I genuinely cannot wait.”

“It would’ve been so much fun if we could’ve, like, made a thing out of it. Maybe gone outside of London,” Chloe said.

“It’ll be fun regardless,” Thian said. “The gang will go together and it’ll be a blast.”

“What’s happening in January?” Graham asked, very intentionally looking at only Chloe and Thian. After years and years of being a people pleaser, Y/N could read a person’s body language when meeting them. She especially knew when someone didn’t like her, which she had known Graham did, but it still sent a small jolt through her.

“We’re attending a concert,” Hayden answered.

“Oh, maybe Graham could come!” Chloe grinned, looking at everyone around the table before taking Graham’s hand, bringing it to her lap.

“Who’s playing?” he asked.

“The Hunna,” Y/N answered.

“Haven’t heard of them,” Graham answered, keeping his eyes on Y/N and then looking up at Chloe as she shifted closer to him. “Maybe I should just stay home.”

“Aw, but I want you to come, baby,” Chloe whined, and Y/N had to look over at Thian and Hayden to see if they were about to throw up.

With that sight in front of her, Y/N zoned out, not bothering to try and keep up now. Annalise would be silent for the rest of the dinner while both Thian and Hayden would make things awkward with their unfiltered comments, all the while Chloe and Graham would chatter amongst themselves, not bothering to spare much of a glance around the table.

Y/N couldn’t understand it, how you could be so infatuated with someone to the point where you completely shut out the rest of the world but them? She had been on a few dates, but never had she been smitten with someone like Chloe and Graham were. Sure, she had fancied people before, but those were only small crushes, nothing this major. Sometimes she couldn’t envision herself ever being in love with someone, the concept just seemed too big for her. At one point, after reading Wuthering Heights, she had been sure that love was nothing but strong obsession with someone, like something Heathcliff and Cathy had. Though part of her still thought that, she had also allowed herself to hope that love like that was real and she would feel it someday. Right now, though, Y/N was unsure.

Their food arrived not long after that and the table descended into quiet as everyone started eating. Not having eaten since lunch, Y/N was extremely hungry and felt like tipping the entire bowl of pasta down her throat in one go. Annalise made a noise beside her that made Y/N know her friend was definitely enjoying her food, and Thian put his hand over his heart, pledging his allegiance to Zizzi’s fantastic food. A little while later, they were back in conversation again, as if the frustration of before was completely forgotten.

“The funny thing about Kai,” Thian said. “Is that he is the type of man to chat about anything, he’ll give you a detailed description of his bedtime routine, but he won’t elaborate on his dates with Emma.”

“Emma’s lovely,” Annalise tried, not speaking as loud as she usually did and Y/N looked in Graham’s direction, telepathically asking him to just try and make fun of the way her friend talked.

“She is,” Chloe agreed. “I think what I love most about her and Kai is that she’s very quiet, but he’s, like, super loud. They cancel each other out.”

Y/N swallowed the last of her pasta putting her fork down on her plate. “She’s also good at making coffee while Kai can’t make any hot beverage for shit.”

Thian laughed. “Imagine him serving her anything! The man’s got a heart of pure gold, but he can be so dumb sometimes.”

“In a derogatory way?” Hayden asked.

“Complimentary.”

“Good, he doesn’t deserve slander.”

Thian chuckled at that, Hayden and him sharing a small high five as Thian put his cutlery on his plate, having finished his food as well.

“You finished that quickly.”

Graham, who had otherwise been silent for most of the meal, suddenly spoke up. It had everyone pausing for a second, looking in his direction to see what he was referring to. Y/N thought he might have made a sarcastic comment about Chloe and how she ate her food, something the two of them laughed about in their own time, an inside joke of sorts, but no, Graham was looking directly at Y/N. It was the first time they had shared a glance for more than two seconds, and Y/N could not say she had missed out on anything previously. Her heart felt like it stopped beating as it plummeted to the ground, being sucked into a black hole. Graham continued to hold Y/N’s gaze until his eyes fell to her plate. Y/N felt a chill take over her body as an enormous amount of shame started settling itself into her chest.

“So?” Thian said, clearly sensing that Y/N did not know what to say to Graham’s statement.

Graham shrugged. “Just considering how big of a plate that was.

It was the same size as everyone else’s. Y/N felt her palms get clammy as she balled her hands into fists. “Do you have a problem with me, Graham?”

“Y/N,” Chloe mumbled, giving her a look that told her to drop it.

The shame that had crept up on her evaporated like steam as a huge fire of rage built up inside Y/N. “What?” she said, looking straight into Chloe’s eyes as all those moments previously finally came together to fill Y/N’s anger. “First thing the bloke ever says to me is that I finished a meal quickly, as if that’s an appropriate thing to say to someone you don’t know.”

“But you did finish it quickly, Y/N,” Chloe said, earning a slight gasp from Annalise to Y/N’s right.

Y/N had to do her best not to cry right then and there. It was one thing to hear someone say something to her with an accusatory tone, as if she should know better and not eat so “quickly” even if she was hungry, because then Graham wouldn’t have said anything. As if Graham opening his mouth and coming with that unnecessary and frankly rude comment was Y/N’s fault.

“What the fuck, Chloe?” Annalise said and Y/N had never heard so much anger in her Dutch friend’s voice before.

Y/N and Chloe continued to just look at one another. The person in front of Y/N did not seem like the person she had gotten to know Fresher’s Week last year, it was not the person that had helped Y/N make friends, who had taken her under her wing and made that first semester amazing. It could not be the same person. It just could not. But then again, maybe Chloe had just thought this all along. Maybe she had always viewed Y/N in her bigger body – in her fat body – as lesser, inferior, and repulsive, but that side of her had not gotten through to the surface until Graham came into her life and helped it flourish.

How could Chloe defend this? How could she defend her boyfriend when he was so obviously being condescending just because of how Y/N looked? She had always been able to sniff out fatphobic bastards her entire life; even if their disgust for her body was blatant or internalised, but she had not caught onto Chloe right away like she had with Graham. No, Y/N would not cry about what had just been said, but she would probably cry because of the friendship that had just been tainted and ruined forever.

Y/N pulled her purse forth, pulling a few quid out of it and smacking it down on the wooden table in front of her. Then, she got up, pulled her coat on, and walked out of the restaurant. She could hear Thian, Hayden, and Annalise calling her name, but she did not turn around. That entire situation had been too humiliating, too frustrating, and she did not want to look back on Chloe and Graham where they sat at the table still, not feeling bad in the slightest for what they had said. They probably thought they were helping. They all thought they were bloody helping, as if anything anyone said hadn’t been said to her a hundred times before.

Y/N walked to the New Change / Cannon Street bus stop and waited for 10 minutes until the 76 bus came. She got onboard, scanned her Oyster card, and went to sit down, her hands still clammy and a bit shaky from what had just happened. It was impossible to not think about it, about what Chloe and Graham had both said, about how they did not look apologetic at all. They meant it with their whole chests.

On Finsbury Square, the bus stopped to let a few people on, the last one to get on being a 40-something year old woman who looked about the bus for a free seat. Naturally, the only free one was next to Y/N. As the bus started back on its route, Y/N could see that the woman tried to scan the bus again and again, but the only place she could sit was next to Y/N. She came over in the end, sitting down next to her and scooting so close that Y/N was pressed up hard against the wall of the bus. Reminding herself that she only had seven stops left, Y/N bit her lips together and tried not to notice how the lady beside her was wriggling, trying to get comfortable in her seat.

Y/N plucked her earbuds in and tried to forget about everything. She tried to think about something else, anything else. Her mind travelled to Harry. In just a few days they would travel to Princes Risborough together to visit Harry’s dad, finally they would get some time away from London. And after everything that had just happened, Y/N was very grateful for the getaway. She knew Harry was working tonight, Nathan was at dance rehearsals, and that Mason was out with friends, so she would be home alone when she got to Orsman Road. Though the prospect terrified her, she was happy no one would be there to ask her how the night had gone because Y/N would not be able to hold back.

As the Downham Road stop approached, Y/N leaned over to press the ‘stop’ button. The lady beside her pressed back against her seat and Y/N gave her a smile, about to ask her if she could pass so she could get off. However, the lady got up from her seat as quickly as possible, letting Y/N get up and pass her.

“Maybe you should think about walking home next time.”

The comment threw Y/N completely off guard and she whipped her head around in the woman’s direction, stunned by what she had just said. Though Y/N had been on the receiving end of numerous fatphobic remarks before, it had never happened so frequently or this much in one day. People usually just gave her looks, made her cower a bit, but this was something else entirely. The woman’s words along with what Graham and Chloe had said added to the pile of condescending comments she had received throughout her life, and Y/N was getting really bloody sick of other people feeling like they had to comment on her, her body, and her life just because they thought they could.

Her jaw clenched, and the second the doors opened, Y/N walked out and home. Her earbuds were in her ears but she couldn’t find it in herself to pull her phone out and listen to music. She walked home alone in complete silence, her brain trying to process loads and nothing at the same time.

She threw the door open and slammed it shut behind her, locking the door before she took her shoes and coat off, then walked up to her room and shut that door as well. Her eyes instinctively landed on herself in her mirror, jaw untensing.

The bulk of anti-fat attitudes that Y/N had faced throughout her life had all come at the hands of thin people who deeply believed they were doing right and doing good, emboldened by a culture that wholeheartedly agreed with them. And Y/N was tired. She was so tired of being told she was not enough or too much. Of being told she repulsive, monstrous, at the fucking bottom of the barrel in the societal hierarchy, and being considered bloody contagious. As if her fatness was a disease. A deadly disease.

Looking back on this moment, Y/N realised that the anger she felt in that very moment – both of the situations previously combined with everything society had put her through - was what had finally done it. She had always felt an intense shame for simply daring to exist in a body she had always inhabited, a body that was bigger than most of her friends’, and she was so used to – had been taught to – always hold herself, dress herself, and exist in a way that would make thin people comfortable. Wear black to appear anonymous; to appear thinner, never wear tight-fitted clothes, never eat when someone else wasn’t eating; always appear as small as her fat body allowed her to. She wasn’t aware of how fatphobic the world, the people, and her reality were until just that second. She had been so used to it that it had not occurred to her how much it had shaped her world, how wrong it was. How no one else of her friends experienced this. Her careful navigation of the world, trying to make those people around her less disgusted by her and trying to cover up most of her body, wasn’t a universal experience. It was hers. And it was because they weren’t fat.

They would never experience what it was like to have your thin friends say that they wanted to lose weight because they had put on an extra few kilos around their middle, but the friends were nowhere near as big as you were. Would never experience the looks you got when you walked past a group of young people who snickered as you simply walked by, would never experience someone making pig noises while strolling beside you or taking pictures or videos of you to send to their friends because you were fat and therefore it was okay to make fun of how you looked. Would never experience the humiliation, the shame in always being the butt of the joke because in their eyes, your body was your fault, so people making fun of you was on you, not on them as shitty human beings and their fatphobic ideals. They would never experience the shame Y/N just had, or how reluctant some of her friends were to stick up for her because deep down, they felt the same way Graham did. Y/N had done this to herself, if she just watched what she ate then this wouldn’t be a problem. She could lose weight and be like others. Be normal.

She felt a rage so hot, so raw that it threatened to set her on fire. It was rage at Graham, Chloe, every person who had made her younger self feel like she had to hide, and society. It was not anger at herself. No, Y/N would not be angry with herself any longer. How was any of this her fault when all she did was simply exist? If anything, her rage only made her want to defy everything and everyone even more. Next time when she met Graham, she would wear the most tight-fitted dress she owned and eat five plates of pasta. She would give him something to fucking comment on, make him so uncomfortable having her fat body around as she could muster. Who gave a fuck what other people wore? What she wore? Why was her body, her fat body, anyone’s concern but her own? What she ate, what she wore, where she sat, what she said, how she looked, was not an invitation for someone else to come with their unsolicited advice, joke about her appearance, be condescending towards her, or treat her as anything but a human fucking being. People would stare at her fat body no matter what, might as well give them something unforgettable to look at.

Saturday, 27 October 2018

“I forget how much I hate driving when I drive up to dad’s,” Harry said, keeping his eyes on the road in front of them as Don’t Leave Me Alone by Anne-Marie and David Guetta played on the radio.

Y/N, who had been drifting in and out of sleep since they left Hackney about an hour ago, furrowed her brows and looked in Harry’s direction. “You don’t like driving?”

“Not on the bloody M40, no,” he grumbled, putting his turning signal on to get off the motorway and onto A404 towards High Wycombe and Marlow. “Motorways are so boring.”

“If you put on your own music while driving, motorways aren’t so boring.”

“I wanted you to have the AUX, but then you fell asleep and I was driving so I didn’t bother.”

She smiled a little at that, stretching in her seat before she started paying proper attention to their surroundings. When they reached the roundabout, Harry got off on the road towards Aylesbury, honking at someone who was a little too close to his car upon exiting the roundabout. He continued up New Road, turning the volume down when Capital FM went on to a commercial break.

“We can listen to music,” Y/N said, reaching for Harry’s phone.

“What about from your phone?”

“It’s in my purse.”

“Your purse is right in front of you.”

“Can’t be arsed.”

Harry huffed, reaching over to unlock his phone with his thumb. It entered right on a text message conversation and Y/N did everything in her power to not look at who he was chatting to and about what. Without intending to, her eyes had landed on the ‘Dad’ at the top of the conversation, but other than that, she saw nothing. She clicked onto Harry’s Spotify, the first song that came on boobed through the speakers and Y/N smiled up at Harry as COPYCAT by Billie Eilish started playing.

“Skip it,” Harry said.

Y/N gasped. “Why? Billie’s a proper ledge.”

“Not even you saying that in your Notts dialect can make me want to listen to it,” Harry said and Y/N felt her face heat up. “Just been listening to it a lot lately.”

Y/N skipped it just because Harry wanted to, this time Don’t Want You by Ella Mei came on and he only shook his head. “What’s wrong with this one? Ella’s amazing, especially her Time EP.”

“I meant to delete it from my playlist ‘cause I’ve listened to it a little too much, you know?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, but skipped. The only thing that was played before Harry nodded his head were the guitar at the beginning. Harry grinned and nodded his head, he wanted to listen to this one. Y/N’s heart skipped a little beat.

“Leve,” she said.

“Yeah, by Mahmundi.”

The artist Y/N had played when Harry had tagged along when she drove around working. The fact he had added it to his playlist made something inside her melt. Harry liking the song so much that he added it to his playlist despite not knowing what was being sung was so cute. She sat back into her chair as the Mahmundi started singing.

“Okay,” Harry said, licking his lips as he drove onto a smaller road. “Let’s make a bet.”

Y/N glanced over at him. “Oh?”

“How much do you wanna bet that we’ll have sex tonight when we sleep in the same bed?”

She laughed, putting Harry’s phone away as the both of them chuckled. Thinking about it, Y/N was rather certain that it would happen. They had never slept in the same bed before, she didn’t know what to expect, but she was sure that at some point, they would touch and one thing would probably lead to another. It wasn’t that they couldn’t do it, they most certainly could if they just wanted to, but she wasn’t sure either of them would be able to resist if it happened.

“I bet 10 quid that we will,” Y/N said, shrugging her shoulders.

Harry grinned. “Alright, I bet we won’t. 10 pounds.”

“You really think we won’t?” she asked.

“If willpower is on our side.”

She chuckled just as Harry turned onto a gravel road, the car vibrating with the terrain they were driving on. Green fields reached out as far as the eye could see as they drove up a small hill, making it easy to see the town of Princes Risborough not far away and the motorway they had gotten off not long ago. As they reached the top of the hill, an estate revealed itself to them. Grey stones making out a massive house along with a barn and a few smaller houses to match it. The black gate read ‘Maccabee Dog Shelter’ and the small car park in front of the house was void of cars help for three, one of which Y/N assumed to be Harry’s dad’s and his stepmum’s.

Harry sighed as he drove through the front gate, parking just beside the main house which had to be Alfred’s ��� Harry’s father’s – house. He cut the engine and looked over at the house, his jaw working as if he had to work up some kind of courage to simply open the door and walk outside. Y/N reached over, taking Harry’s hand in hers. The simple gesture made Harry’s eyes land on her, eyes scanning her face before he glanced at their hands entwined on the gear stick between them.

“We’ll figure it out,” she said, Harry smiled a little at that. “It’ll be alright.”

A figure came walking towards the car, having just been in the barn, and Y/N quickly recognised Alfred Styles. He waved at them, a beam on his face as he approached the car. Harry let out a breath before meeting Y/N’s eyes again, nodding at her before he let go of her hand and took his seatbelt off. She did the same.

“Ah!” Harry’s father exclaimed as Harry and Y/N climbed out of the car. He walked on over to them in green rain boots that reached all the way up to his knees and a black raincoat over, clearly anticipating rain sometime soon. Or it might just be what he wore around the dog shelter seeing as there was quite a bit of mud around.

“Hiya, dad,” Harry said as he met Alfred halfway, Alfred throwing his arms around Harry and patting his back for the few seconds the two of them embraced.

“You look different,” Alfred remarked, putting a hand on Harry’s shoulder as he studied his son’s face.

“Yeah, uhm…” Harry dragged a hand through his growing hair and Alfred’s eyes landed on the brown locks. “I think I’m inheriting this thing from mum. It’s not more than a few strands yet, but I tried pulling them out, but-“

“-She always used to say that was her angel stripe,” Alfred noted, smiling at the spot on the right side of Harry’s head. “A bit of silver left from where an angel graced you. Maybe you have a hard time ahead of you and your guardian angel wanted to let you know he’s there.”

Harry smiled at his father, and Y/N could tell that he didn’t really believe what he was saying, that this was all about genetics and not about an angel’s touch. Y/N remembered both of Harry’s parents acting like this, believing in spirituality and higher powers, while Harry had somehow not ended up like them. At one point, she remembered Harry saying that his grandmother had been the one to keep him from giving in to his parent’s beliefs. Instead, he just believed in the goodness of humans. And science, of course.

“Dad,” Harry said, turning around to look at Y/N who was still lingering by the door. “This is Y/N, she-“

“-Oh, I remember you!” Alfred grinned, walking over and stealing a hug from Y/N as well. “We met back in Nottingham, did we not?”

“We did,” Y/N smiled as they pulled away from one another. “It’s so lovely to meet you again, Mr Styles.”

“Alfred,” he corrected. “And you too, Y/N. I bet it was a long drive up here.”

“Took us about one hour and 15,” Harry said.

“Regardless, Eva’s made some dinner for you,” Alfred explained, and Y/N looked over at Harry to gauge his reaction, but her friend merely looked at his father. “She was so excited for you to come.”

Though Alfred looked between Y/N and Harry, she could tell that he meant she had been excited about Harry coming. And by excited, he meant she had been anxious out of her mind to make everything perfect and would probably beat herself up if something did not go according to plan. At least, it would’ve been something like that according to how Harry had described his and Eva’s relationship.

“I’ll show you to your bedrooms,” Alfred said.

“We can share a room,” Harry noted, making Alfred halt as he was about to turn around, raising his eyebrows just an inkling. “Carry a mattress to my room and I’ll take the floor, Y/N can take the bed.”

“Hey,” Y/N complained. “I’ll take the mattress, you take your own bed-“

“-It’s only polite that I take the mattress and you the bed.”

“You lot, you can just sleep in separate rooms and this problem would not exist,” Alfred said.

“We’ll think about it, then,” Harry said, opening the booth to take his and Y/N’s bags out. “Y/N doesn’t like dogs so I just want to make sure she feels safe.”

“Harry,” Y/N hissed under her breath. Not by any means did she want Alfred to know that she did not particularly like dogs, especially not when he loved dogs as much as he did. He owned a dog shelter, for fuck’s sake.

But Alfred only laughed. “Then I understand why she would want someone beside her at night when she’s supposed to sleep surrounded by them.”

“Is Julie and Billy in?” Harry asked, putting Y/N’s bag over his shoulder.

“Yes,” Alfred answered, looking to Y/N suddenly. “Those are our dogs, but if you don’t want them around, I can put them in another room.”

“Oh, no,” Y/N said, though she felt a slight panic rise up inside her at the thought of being so close to not one, but two dogs. Then again, the barks from the fenced areas outside as well as the barn not too far off reminded her that she was in fact surrounded by more than just two dogs. These two had to be well trained if they belonged to the owners of the shelter. “That’s fine, honestly.”

“They’re not scary. Billy can be a bit much, but I’ll make him go easy on you,” Harry smiled. “Do you not want them to touch you?”

“As long as they don’t jump up on me in greeting or bite me.”

“They won’t,” Alfred said as he put a reassuring hand on Y/N’s shoulder, giving her a smile. “I’ll keep Billy back from doing so.”

Y/N smiled back at him.

“Come on,” Alfred said, showing the way towards the main house, the dogs around them in the fences still barking at one another and at the new arrivals. Instinctively, Y/N drew a little closer to Harry, the sounds of the constant barking setting her on edge. Harry must have sensed this and took a small step toward her, letting their arms brush as they walked up the house. Maccabee Dog Shelter stood in black, elegant letters across the front of a smaller house to the left of the big one, and on the black door, it said in white letters ‘reception’. The bigger house had to be Alfred and Eva’s then.

“Dad designed this house,” Harry told Y/N as they walked up to the front door, the grey stone of the farmhouse. “It’s his and Eva’s dream home.”

“You two aren’t covered in dog hair,” Alfred said, opening the front door. “So you can just proceed to the next room.”

His laughter reminded Y/N of Harry’s, it always had. The corners of his eyes would crinkle and he would smile that wide smile of his, though Harry’s dimples had come from Flora.

The room right in front of them was small. On the wall to the left were hangers where numerous jackets and work trousers with knee pads, on the right stood a few shelves with combs, many lint rollers, and everything else one might need working out on their farm. It was probably so they wouldn’t have to bring all the dirt and the hairs all the dogs staying with them at the moment shed, into their clean home. Harry walked first and opened the door for the two of them, stepping inside with their bags and putting them on the floor of the foyer.

Immediately as you walked inside, there was a small staircase to the left that led up to a small loft office of sorts, but right ahead , along the tall white wall, there was a small round glass table with four chairs around it, an elegant bouquet of flowers positioned neatly on top of it along with an air diffuser. The rug on the floor seemed almost too expensive and Y/N was afraid to even breathe in case she somehow ruined something.

She felt something on her shoulders, and looking behind her, she saw Harry trying to pull her jacket off for her. The gesture was so domestic, so effortless, that it took her a few seconds to realise what was going on. Harry simply gave her a small smile and pulled her jacket off her shoulders, hanging it on the hanger beside them where his jacket was. She took her shoes off, placing them carefully next to Harry’s, and was about to reach for her bag, but Harry already had it slung across his shoulder.

The wall to the right overlooked the property, the fenced in portion of their massive estate where dogs could run around and play with one another, something they were right in that second. Y/N was very happy they were inside.

“In here,” Alfred said, having taken his outdoors clothes off and now walked past them to show the way. It wasn’t as if his son didn’t know the way, but Y/N thought Alfred might just want to make sure Y/N felt welcome as well.

The double doors that Alfred opened led to a magnificent dining area with a relatively low ceiling, chairs made out of lush purple cushions stood around the massive wooden table that was prepped and ready for dinner. The food stood on the table, and the immediate smell of fish crept up into Y/N’s nose. The table was made for four people, two on each side, and Y/N suddenly wondered how awkward it had to be when only Harry came up to Princes Risborough when the three of them had to sit at a table that big. A chandelier hung over the table, lighting up the entire room along with some lamps by the wall and candles lit up along the table.

“Alfie?” came from the open doorway to the left of the dining area, which, by the small look she got of it, had to be the kitchen.

Y/N suddenly heard some tapping against the wooden floor of the kitchen and within seconds, two dogs were rushing out at them. She felt herself take a few steps back, her palms getting clammy and heart racing dangerously fast. Harry immediately put both of the bags in front of her and took a protective step so he stood before her, making both the dogs come to him. Not that he even had to do that, they were on him in seconds regardless.

A smaller black one and a bigger one with black and white spots both jumped up on Harry, demanding his attention and to be cuddled. Harry bent down and petted them both, laughing a little as the smaller one jumped up on his knee and started licking at his cheek.

“I think they knew you were coming home today, might’ve sensed the anticipation in the air,” Alfred explained.

“Just keep them a bit away from Y/N, dad.”

“Of course!” Alfred said, walking forth and making both of the dogs calm down. What he said or did, Y/N did not know, all she cared about was that they weren’t jumping around and demanding everyone’s attention anymore like they had been only seconds before. Both the dogs now looked at Y/N, their tails wagging, and the bigger one almost tripping a bit on the spot in its eagerness to check out the new guest that had come into their house.

“You okay with petting them?” Harry asked.

“Will they jump up on me?”

“No, not when dad’s made it clear that they gotta stay,” he explained, hunching down beside the dogs.

Slowly, Y/N walked over, keeping her attention on the dogs and trusting that Harry and Alfred had the dogs under control. The fact that she was about to willingly touch a dog made her want to hurl. Never had she thought that she would find herself in Buckinghamshire out of free will, and definitely not on a farmhouse – a dog shelter, nevertheless – and be surrounded by dogs. This was her worst nightmare. However, she knew that these dogs had to mean a lot to Harry seeing as how happy they were that he was there, but though they scared Y/N, she didn’t want to disappoint him. So, she bent towards the black and smaller one first, hoping that Harry didn’t notice how her hand shook slightly as she reached for it.

“Can you hold its collar?”

“Of course,” Harry said, putting his middle and index finger inside the dog’s collar. Slowly, Y/N bent forward and placed her hand on top of the dog’s head, petting it only slightly. The dog whined, clearly wanting for Y/N to pet it even more.

“Good,” Harry said, smiling up at her. “That’s good.”

Y/N let out a shaky breath.

“This is Julie,” Harry explained. “She’s a Scottish Terrier. Very careful, always in the mood to cuddle, and would rather you just lay down on the floor with her and chill than play.”

Y/N nodded.

“And this,” Alfred began, holding onto the other dog’s collar as Y/N turned to that one, knowing that Harry would keep Julie from jumping on her the second she took her eyes off her. “This is Billy, a Portuguese Water Dog.”

Y/N smiled a little. Maybe Billy would understand her if she talked to him in Portuguese, she immediately thought.

“He’s the playful one. He’ll run and play until he falls over and sleeps for 20 hours straight.”

Y/N smiled at Alfred who smiled back. She was a little more confident now, reaching forward with a bit more of a steady hand to pet Billy by the side of his curly neck, a big smile on the dog’s face the entire time. Billy suddenly did a little jump, and though Alfred was holding him in place, it still took Y/N off guard and she quickly pulled her hand back and stood up.

“They’re nice,” Harry told her. “But I’ll keep them away from you if you don’t want anything to do with them.”

“Thank you,” Y/N said, looking from Harry to Alfred, giving them both what she hoped were thankful smiles. That’s when she suddenly noticed something in the doorway to the kitchen.

A tall and bigger woman stood in her apron by the kitchen, watching everything in the dining area unfold with a curious gleam on her face. Her short, wavy brown hair reached her shoulders, and her round face looked so good, so genuinely kind, that Y/N felt like walking over and giving her a hug. Seeing their similar body types made Y/N instantly relax. Not that she hadn’t been relaxed before, she knew both Harry and Alfred, but something about having someone that looked like you around you made it easier to just calm down.

Harry stood up from his place on the floor, and followed Y/N’s gaze until it landed on Eva in the kitchen doorway. He halted a bit, visibly tensing, but Y/N supposed that only she would notice that. Eva couldn’t know him well enough to recognise the signs of discomfort.

“Harry,” she smiled, walking over to him and hugging him tightly. “It’s so good to see you again.”

“And you,” Harry said. “It smells amazing, what’d you make?”

“Smoked haddock and jersey royal stew, naturally,” Eva said, grinning up at Harry as they pulled apart. “I remember making it for you that first time we met, and I thought it would fit nicely that I made it now that I’m meeting your friend as well.”

Harry smiled at that, nodding his head awkwardly before he took a step to the side, letting Eva and Y/N size each other up.

“Eva, this is my best mate, Y/N.”

Something exploded inside Y/N’s chest and instead of looking at Eva, she came to look at Harry. She… She was his best friend? She had always considered Harry to be one of her best friends, someone she could always be herself with, but she didn’t know she was the best friend to him.

“It’s so nice to meet you!” Eva grinned walking over towards Y/N with her arms wide to give her a hug. “Hope the dogs haven’t been too terrifying.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Y/N chuckled as they pulled away from one another, she looked down at the two dogs that circled around Harry, occasionally scratching their paws against his calf or whining for him to pay attention to him. “Harry and Alfred have kept them off me.”

“Glad to hear it,” Eva smiled, looking over at Harry who kept his attention on the dogs. Silence settled in the room among them and Y/N could clearly tell that Eva wanted to say something, to make Harry more comfortable. She wanted to treat him like a son, but didn’t know how. Not having had children herself, this had to be hard for Eva, Y/N imagined

“Well,” Alfred finally said. “Let’s eat, shall we?”

“I’ll show you around the house afterwards,” Harry said to Y/N.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

The four of them sat down by the kitchen table, hungry and ready to finally eat something. Dinner was filled with occasional conversation and awkward silences. Eva and Alfred stood for most of the talking, and Y/N tried not to let the conversations die by asking questions and trying to talk about things that would interest all of them. However, Harry mostly stayed quiet, only sometimes joining in, but other than that, it was up to Y/N, Eva, and Alfred to keep the tension in the room from getting too thick. It annoyed Y/N how little Harry tried, that everyone but him, the person they had most anticipated coming here, were talking, and he was left just sometimes talking. Then again, she supposed she wouldn’t know how hard it was to watch your parents, no matter how many years had passed, be with someone else. He had told her how he tried to like Eva, to make his visits less awkward, but it didn’t seem like he had it in himself to even do that today.

At one point, Eva referred to Y/N and Harry as a couple, something that had both of them jump up with “No, we’re just friends,” “I just wanted someone to tag along on the car ride.” Though it was unintentional and Eva had clearly just mistook whatever was going on, it made things even more awkward. Y/N truly pitied Eva who was only trying to do her best.

After dinner and helping Alfred load everything into the dishwasher, Harry took Y/N on a walk through the house, carrying both of their overnight bags on his shoulder. Compared to most houses she had been in, this one was the biggest one by far. It was designed so it would fit Eva and Alfred’s needs, as well as small rooms and things for Billy and Julie. The two dogs followed Harry and Y/N around, eager to see what the two were up to, and Harry often pulled them away from Y/N if they got too close or if they made her uncomfortable. Sometimes, she didn’t even notice one of the dogs being there, but he still bent down and shooed them away, making them leave her alone.

“And this,” Harry said finally, opening the final door along the first-floor corridor. “Is my room.”

It was big, much bigger than the living room and kitchen in Orsman Road combined. With a king sized bed, a windowsill made entirely out of cushions, a massive desk, and his own bathroom with both a bathtub and a shower. This was a kind of luxury Y/N had only ever dreamed of. Not that her family wasn’t well off, but this was a kind of house that required money. One wall was painted a light beige colour while the others were white, and the two colours appeared in most of the other furniture of his room. It seemed stylish and effortless, yet it had clearly been put a lot of thought into everything about this room.

“Did you design it yourself?” she asked.

“No, I wish,” Harry huffed. “It was all dad. The entire house.”

Y/N walked over to the window; the countryside that would normally be displayed here was drenched in the darkness that night-time provided. She reckoned that exact spot would be an amazing place to read in, maybe if they had some time in the morning, she could sit down there and read.

Harry yawned behind her, and when she turned around, she saw him rubbing at his eyes, sleep clearly demanding that he just lay down in his bed for the rest of the evening.

“Sleepy?”

“Yeah,” he answered, sighing. “But it’s only 8pm, and I’m sure Eva’s making some tea.”

“Harry!” Eva shouted from downstairs. “Y/N! Tea is served, darlings!”

The two of them giggled at the timing, but walked on downstairs to join the two elders for some tea before bed. Y/N spent most of the time downstairs in the living room asking about the farmhouse and Maccabee, how it had come to be and what made them build this new house. Eva, it appeared, had inherited Maccabee after her mother died, and hadn’t settled down properly with anyone in her life until she met Alfred. He was hired in to come up with a new Maccabee and house for Eva, but the two had fallen in love and Alfred had ended up building a house for them and given up his job as an architect to work full-time at Maccabee with Eva. Though he had always dreamed of being an architect, this life suited him much better, and he didn’t miss his old life at all. Y/N could feel Harry tensing beside her at that.

Both of the students had trouble keeping their eyes open as the clock reached 10pm. The two therefore dismissed themselves and bid their goodnights before walking up to Harry’s room to go to bed. Harry had to sit down on the floor and kiss both Julie and Billy goodnight, but Y/N just walked upstairs, thinking that she could change into her pyjamas before Harry came into the room. He had seen her naked before, but it was something else to just be casually naked like that in front of someone when you changed in and out of clothes. It was a different kind of intimate that Y/N had never experienced with anyone before.

She pulled her hoodie over her head and quickly took her bralette off before pulling her peony print pyjama top out of her bag. She was in the process of buttoning it up when Harry entered the room.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, looking away. “I should’ve asked if you were okay with me entering, I’m so sorry-“

“-No, I should’ve made it clear I was changing. I’m sorry.”

Harry chuckled, shaking his head a little. “I’ll turn around.”

Y/N bit her bottom lip and finished buttoning her top before she pulled her black tights off, replacing them with a matching set of pyjama shorts bottoms. The peony print was multi coloured on top of white background, and Y/N thought they might be the brightest pieces of clothing she owned.

“You’re good,” Y/N said as she got her glasses, toothbrush and toothpaste out, walking over to Harry’s bathroom to get properly ready for the night. She took her contacts out as she heard Harry move around inside his room, changing out of his clothes and getting ready for sleep. While brushing her teeth she looked around the big bathroom, thinking that their bathroom down in London was smaller than this. The fact made her laugh a little.

Harry came into the bathroom in only his boxers and the tee shirt he had worn all day, eyes immediately falling on his own reflection in the massive mirror above the sink. He took the few grey hairs to the right of his head between his fingers, studying them for a few seconds before he pulled his toothbrush out of the cup that stood on the counter.

“I think it looks good,” Y/N said after she spat her toothpaste and rinsed her toothbrush.

“You do?”

“You don’t?”

Harry scrunched up his nose as he put some toothpaste on his brush. “Haven’t figured it out yet.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Trust me, it’s hot.”

Harry looked after her as she walked back into the bathroom, stuttering a little before he sighed and started brushing away. Y/N brought the book she was currently reading to bed and got under the covers to read a chapter or two. So far, she was loving The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers. Harry came back just a few minutes later, dragging his hands through his hair and sighing to himself as he walked about turning all the lights out. Y/N remained curled up by the lamp on her nightstand, pushing her glasses further up her nose when they slipped down and turning a page just as Harry scrambled into bed beside her.

“You reading some gothic novel that was released 180 years ago?” Harry asked, putting his phone on the nightstand beside him.

“No, I’m reading a space opera.”

That got him to halt for a single second before a small, “Oh,” passed his lips, as if he understood exactly what Y/N was talking about when she knew he did not. “What’s it about?”

She smiled, looking over her shoulder at him. He was turned on his side facing her, watching her back intently as she read. “It’s about Rosemary who joins a spaceship crew and the crew’s just been offered the deal of a lifetime.”

“Oh,” Harry said again. “Sounds wicked.”

Y/N’s smile widened and she put her bookmark in before she closed the book and put it away. Turning the light off, she turned over to face at Harry. “You don’t have to ask me questions about the book I’m reading if you’re not interested.”

“But I am interested.”

She raised her eyebrows at him. “You are?”

“Yes, ‘cause it interests you, so it interests me.”

Y/N felt something in her stomach tingle. “Well… that’s nice.”

Harry chuckled a little at that, turning onto his back so his eyes fell on the white ceiling above them. His smile slowly fell from his face until a rather serious expression took over, a small crease forming between his dark brows.

“Noticed something was off earlier,” Y/N said, and Harry’s eyes fell down onto the window at the foot of his bed instead. “What’s bothering you?”

“It’s just…” Harry sighed. “No, I won’t rant about it.”

“You need to get it off your chest, Harry,” Y/N urged, fighting the urge to reach over and take his hand. “You’ll feel better afterwards.”

There was a small pause before he opened his mouth again. “I just… Sometimes I can’t find it in myself to try.”

Y/N furrowed her brows.

“I’ve tried to act like I like Eva and dad together for so long, but sometimes I can’t do it.” A small pause; Harry fiddled with the fabric of the massive duvet they shared. “Which is so fucking infuriating ‘cause I should like her. I know I would’ve loved her if she hadn’t been dad’s girlfriend, which makes me so… so angry with myself.”

“Harry, don’t-“

“-I keep telling myself that all I want is to see my parents happy, even if that means they find someone else, but how can I even say that when I know, deep down, that something inside me won’t allow it? I feel like a bloody child.”

“This wasn’t part of how you imagined your future to look like when you were younger. This was supposed to be impossible ‘cause you were a trio, your perfect family, and suddenly that was taken away from you.”

Harry looked at her.

“But something changed, and here you are.”

He nodded. “Part of me still thinks they’ll end up together again, that this is just something I’ll have to endure until they see the light again.”

Y/N stayed quiet.

“But… But another part of me, the one I want to take over and kill that other part, is trying to tell me that it won’t happen. This is my life now, I need to be happy if my parents are.”

Y/N nodded.

“Dad, Eva, mum… they don’t deserve my anger.”

She smiled. “You’re one step closer to accepting this by simply acknowledging that how you’re behaving is wrong. Not that how you’re feeling in this moment is wrong, everyone needs time to process their parents divorcing and them moving on, but when it’s been years and they’re happy, I think it’s great that you’re realising you should be happy, too.”

Harry just looked at her.

She laid on her back, sighing. “I shouldn’t say anything, I’m sorry. My parents haven’t divorced so I shouldn’t-“

Harry was suddenly right above her, and before she could finish her sentence, his lips stopped her. The kiss was forceful, as if he were trying to cram everything he was feeling in that very moment into that simple action. It took her off guard, but she reached up, resting her hand against his cheek as the kiss deepened. The house was quiet, she didn’t think she had ever been somewhere this quiet before, she hadn’t noticed until now. Every single movement could be heard in their room, every rustle of sheets, every breath. It only made her focus even more on Harry on top of her, made her feel more of him; of them together.

Harry whispered her name against her lips and she instantly put both of her hands on him, letting them linger at the nape of his neck. The kisses grew wetter, sloppier, needier, and the two started grabbing at each other, not getting enough. Harry’s hand travelled down her side until it reached the hem of her pyjama top, his fingers dancing along the skin just beside her navel. Her breath hitched somewhere in her throat as she realised what Harry was thinking. She wasn’t opposed at all, she would very much like to have sex with him, but she also knew that a big reason why Harry wanted to have sex now was to forget about everything going on. But if she could help him forget about everything, make him focus on something else entirely, then she would do it.

She let her hand slide down his torso until it reached his boxer. Slowly, she pushed her hand into it. Harry gasped into her mouth at the feeling of her fingers on his erecting cock. It was always so easy to turn Harry on, he was always so eager to get on with it, and she assumed that his prick was as impatient as he himself was. She stroked her hand over him, feeling his stomach muscles tighten with the good kind of tension that sex provided. His hips moved into her hand, needy for more friction. She complied, small whimpers and sounds of pleasure erupting from his mouth as she touched him more. Just hearing him mumble her name, moan, or say “yes,” at what she was doing repeatedly made the inside of her thighs hot and her centre ache. Hearing someone’s sounds during sex, knowing she was the one making them audibly agree or not able to help themselves, did things to Y/N that she couldn’t quite explain.

“Your hand feels so fucking good,” Harry mumbled into her mouth, reaching down and helping her take her pyjama shorts off. She threw them away before wrapping an arm around him, the other one sliding along the outside of his boxers.

“You’re so hard,” she moaned, biting at her bottom lip.

“Thank yourself for that.”

She giggled, pushing at his chest to indicate that she wanted him on his back. Harry did as she asked, but got out of bed rather quickly and rummaged through his bag before he came back and laid down where he had been only seconds earlier. Y/N watched as Harry took his boxers off as she took her knickers off as well, and as he put the condom on, he glanced over at her, panting still with everything that had just gone down.

She got up and straddled his lap, bending down to kiss him again. Harry’s hands instantly landed on her arse, dragging her hips over him. He groaned into the kiss, one hand coming to rest at her cheek.

“I’m so wet for you,” she mumbled against him.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Harry hissed, looking down at her cunt where it was pressed against his erection. “When will you let me taste you?”

“When you deserve it.”

Harry whimpered under her and Y/N sat up, taking a light grip of Harry’s cock and dragging it along her wetness. Harry’s lips parted as he looked at the spot where they met, his hands gripping her thighs hard as the anticipation of finally feeling her around him clouded all and everything else. Slowly, Y/N sat down on him, and Harry’s eyes sunk into the back of his skull before he closed his eyes, a deep moan leaving his lips.

Compared to that last time they fucked; this was much slower. She leaned back and used his thighs as leverage to move up and down, knowing that men often found this motion more pleasurable than the back and forth one that women tended to prefer. Harry liked this as well, not able to take his eyes off her that entire time.

“Oh, my fucking God,” he’d hiss, digging his nails into her thighs.

At one point, Y/N unbuttoned most of her shirt, revealing her breasts to Harry. He couldn’t help himself and touched her tits while she moved over him, sitting up to wrap one arm around her and the other was on her bum, all while he left kisses along her collarbone and breasts. They moved together, the only light being from the lamps out in the garden and the slight slit from under the bedroom door. Y/N didn’t think she’d ever had sex like this when they barely spoke, when the only kind of communication needed was the sounds the other person made. It felt almost intimate that they didn’t need to constantly be talking dirty or learning about sex together. This was purely to make Harry think about other things, and by the looks of it, he was.

He looked up at her above him, helping her move, encouraging her, sometimes pushing her glasses up her nose, which made both of them giggle. She rested her hands on Harry’s chest in the end, moving up and down over him to make him come first. However, Harry wouldn’t have it and reached between them, rubbing her clit exactly like she had shown him how. Though Harry came first, Y/N came not long after. They both tried to keep as quiet as possible, not wanting any of the staff that were still working at Maccabee or Alfred and Eva to hear them. It proved harder than they realised, though, but it was good practice for all those other times when they would probably be fucking in their flat when both Nathan and Mason were home.

Y/N remained on top of Harry panting afterward, resting her hands at his navel as she regained her breath. Harry was just as out of breath under her, smiling up at her when their eyes met. Her skin felt raw around her chest and tits from all the kisses, sucking, and nibbles Harry had left there.

She grinned. “You owe me 10 quid.”

Harry chuckled. “You minx. You knew this would happen. I can’t fucking resist you, you know that.”

Y/N laughed.

“You’re playing on my weaknesses.”

She cocked her head at him. “I’m one of your weaknesses, huh?”

“Of course.”

What had started out as a joke on her end, turned into something else entirely. The earnestness in which Harry answered that question made her think he wholeheartedly meant what he had just said.

“Also,” Harry said, holding a finger up as he traced his finger down from Y/N’s collarbone and down to her belly button. A chill ran up her spine. “I don’t owe you a tenner, ‘cause I knew it would happen inevitably.”

Y/N thought back to Harry having brought condoms, how prepared he had been. She huffed. “You didn’t say that out loud.”

“I knew I wouldn’t be able to help myself if we started anything, especially if we were going to share a bed.” He shrugged his shoulders, letting his hand fall to her thighs again where his nails had left marks from earlier. “I was doomed from the get-go.”

She chuckled a little, looking at Harry’s chest and his dragon tattoos there. She loved how the red tattoo just fit on him, it suited his pink skin so well. Maybe he would get more red tattoos. Y/N really hoped so.

“I’ll buy you 10 quid worth of Squashies,” he finally said and Y/N met his eyes again, ignoring the feeling of something warm inside her chest.

“Deal.”

When Y/N woke up the next morning, Harry wasn’t there. She reached for her glasses on the nightstand and sat up in bed, looking around the room. The light from the open window shone in on Harry’s room, and Y/N could not help but think of what a perfect place that window ledge was for reading. She hoped to one day be able to sit there and have all the time in the world to just read and stare out over the landscape beyond. It was a wonder how she hadn’t woken up before this, especially considering how bright everything was and that barking dogs could be heard in the distance.

She got out of bed and put the clothes she had worn the day before on before she walked to the bathroom to pee and put her contacts back in. When she walked down the corridor, she could hear voices coming from downstairs, recognising the deepest one to be Harry’s right away. She was a little offended that he hadn’t stayed in bed until she was awake, but she’d let it slide. It wasn’t as if he was obliged to.

Harry, Alfred, and Eva were all sat in the winter garden just beside the kitchen with a mug of coffee each, chatting calmly as the sun climbed up on the sky behind them. Alfred had some dirt in his forehead as if he had just been outside working and Eva was wearing clothes that made it seem like she was ready to head out and work as well, while Harry sat beside his father in the same clothes he had arrived in the day before.

“Morning!” Alfred sang at the sight of Y/N. Julie and Billy both sprang to life at the sudden outburst and came running for Y/N, tails wagging and tongues hanging out of their mouths as they smiled. Y/N took a few steps back, and before she knew it, someone had taken the dogs by the collar.

“So sorry about that, sweetheart,” Eva said. “They’re a bit eager.”

“Oh, that’s alright,” Y/N chuckled, looking over at Eva.

“You want some coffee, dear?” she smiled.

“That’d be lovely, thank you.”

Alfred got up from his seat and walked into the kitchen, past Harry who was for some reason standing. Y/N furrowed her brows at first, having seen Harry sitting only seconds earlier, but by the way he was glancing at the dogs, she assumed he had been on his way to reach for them to prevent them from reaching her, only Eva had gotten there first. His eyes met Y/N’s and he gave her a smile before sitting down, patting the spot next to him on the cushioned bench where his father had just been sitting.

“Sorry I didn’t stay upstairs until you woke up. Billy somehow got into my room and I had to get him out, but he kept opening the door when I closed it.”

Y/N blinked at Harry as she sat down next to him. “The dog can open doors?”

Harry laughed and so did Eva. “Yeah, he’s got many hidden talents.”

“That sounds a little too human-ish to me,” Y/N mumbled, leaning her frame back against the pillows behind her.

“The bigger and taller dogs can actually learn to open doors and such by simply watching their human owners,” Eva explained. “Tons of the dogs here can do it, but we lock those doors.”

“But…” Y/N furrowed her brows. “If they can open doors, surely they can unlock them as well.”

“They don’t use normal locks, Y/N,” Harry smiled. “None of the dogs will manage to get out.”

“And I didn’t think dogs could open doors, but they can,” she said, smiling at Alfred as he came back to their table with a coffee mug for Y/N. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem,” Alfred said, sitting down beside her on the bench. “Speaking of dogs,” he started, taking his own mug into his hands and sipping it slowly. “How’d Marcela like hers?”

Y/N only looked at Alfred, wondering what he was referring to. He had met Marcela one time, but never when there was a dog around.

“Oh, I’m sorry if you don’t want to talk about her,” Alfred said quickly. “Was I insensitive?” he asked, looking at Harry and Eva.

“No, it’s not that. It…” Y/N frowned. “Dog?”

“Yeah,” Alfred went on. “Was he a good one? You seem to not like dogs so seeing him might’ve been a shock, I’m sure.”

Y/N just looked at Alfred, trying to make sense of his words. Was he implying that Marcela had a dog? Because she had never owned a dog. “Excuse me?”

Alfred put his coffee mug back on the table. “The dog your sister adopted, was he nice to you?”

Y/N thought that surely Alfred was taking the piss, she couldn’t do anything but simply blink at him. “My… My sister never had a dog. My family’s never had any pets.”

Quiet settled between them as the entire room fell into confusion, trying to understand what was going on.

“You certain about that?” Alfred asked.

“Very.”

He was up on his feet in seconds, walking off to the office Y/N had seen upon arriving at the house last night. She glanced to Harry who looked just as bewildered as her, not understanding a word of what his father was saying or implying.

“Y/N, would you please follow me?” Alfred shouted and she got up right away. Harry followed her and the two walked in the direction of Harry’s dad’s voice. He was sat by a laptop in the office, one fist pressed to his chin as he looked through whatever was on the screen in front of him. He typed something in, and then spent some more time looking or reading, brows knitted together.

“I can’t find her name,” he mumbled. “I wasn’t here when her friend was here to adopt and give the dog to her as a gift, but I swear it’s here somewhere.”

Harry and Y/N shared a look, and though Y/N was completely blank and did not understand what the fuck was going on, it seemed Harry did. Something like realisation dawned on him and he stood there thinking for a moment before he walked over to the laptop and where his father was seated. Y/N’s heart was galloping a million miles an hour, wanting to understand what Harry had. He typed something into the laptop, nothing happened, and when he deleted what he’d just written and replaced it with another name, something popped up.

“Ah!” Alfred exclaimed, hitting his palm lightly against the desk. “Finian Arnold! That must be it!”

Harry glanced over at Y/N and though he had thought of exactly this, though he had understood something she had not, he looked just as confused as her in those seconds. Had Finian been here? Had Kit been here? What were they adopting a dog and giving it away as a gift to Marcela for? Where was that dog now?

“He adopted the dog on Friday, 5th September 2014,” Alfred went on.

“Which breed was it?” Harry asked.

“German Shepherd,” Harry’s dad continued, pointing at something on the screen that Y/N couldn’t see.

“Did he have a name?”

Alfred read something on the screen and slowly shook his head. “Not one documented here, but he said they already had a name thought out for the dog.”

Harry and Y/N looked at one another again as Harry straightened up again, crossing his arms over his chest. Now, they both understood. Now, they were both on the same page. The dog bowl they had found in the cellar by the cabin had to have belonged to that dog. But why had Finan adopted a dog for Marcela? Marcela detested him and he was not a big fan of her either, so why had he gotten her a dog as a gift? Something did not add up.

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