#and if you think oh nobody is saying this. yes they are. ive seen SO many times
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i wanna take a peak inside the brain of the people who are scared that colin "my wife" bridgerton is not going to end up together with penelope after he finds out she is whistledown.
you mean this colin? š
#like.#from a business standpoint ALONE it does not make sense#and from the story's view it aLSO DOESNT MAKE SENSE#atp i have to believe its ragebait#OR#just plain stupidity#and if you think oh nobody is saying this. yes they are. ive seen SO many times#across all plataforms#even irl lol#polin#also cant remember where i got this lil pic sorru </3
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Ceilings | Luke Hughes (instagram edit)
summary: you and luke finally know your true feelings for one another and now you are free to post and express that love through your instagrams
warnings: none <3
face claims: lola tung (y/n) & rain spencer (ariana)
a/n: this was one of the first fics I ever wrote and bringing the character to life was so fun.
link to ceilings
āāāāāāāāā ą±Øą§ āāāāāāāāā
liked by arianabrown, lhughes_06 and others
yourusername the playoff run continues š
tagged arianabrown & umichhockey
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user1 goals
user2 the cutest girl
arianabrown you are my queen. I bow to you
yourusername love u sm
arianabrown I can still here that chant in my head
yourusername no bc I was just humming it and didnāt realize š
user3 to be at a michigan hockey game š©
user4 šš
user5 need those pants immediately
lhughes_06 š
yourusername love a good peach
user6 future wag watching her future superstar bf
rutgermcgroarty whereās my pic? I donāt see it
arianabrown donāt start
liked by markestapa, edwards.73 and others
arianabrown your favs
tagged yourusername, lhughes_06, markestapa, edwards.73 & dylanduke25
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markestapa you look so pretty hunny
arianabrown šš was thinking the same about you
user1 obsessed with this
user2 ethan ššš
user3 the icons of uomich
yourusername omg stop look at us
edwards.73 goats
user4 the prettiest girls
user5 luke baby thatās not your angle
yourusername HA š
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yourusername last week of my third year šāš» summer couldnāt come any quicker
tagged lhughes_06
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edwards.73 not the football gameā¦
edwards.73 not you switching up
yourusername iām so done with you
user1 the vibes are immaculate
user2 so pretty without even trying
user3 to be on luke hughes shoulders š„²
markestapa thank god the scooter pic sees the light of day
yourusername itās TOO good
user4 hello the scooter picture š
user5 so stunning
lhughes_06 that library has seen so muchā¦ š«£
user4 WHAT DOES THIS MEAN LUCAS
user6 the real celeb at michigan
arianabrown canāt wait for summa !
liked by jackhughes, arianabrown and others
yourusername summer dump š so in love with you
tagged lhughes_06, jackhughes, edwards.73, dylanduke25 & markestapa
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arianabrown iām so obsessed with you
user1 play that should be me by justin bieber
user2 the KISS DUDE IM PASSING OUT š„¹
rutgermcgroarty that ice cream looks fab
markestapa too bad you didnāt come you couldāve had some
rutgermcgroarty shut up
user3 living for the summer reunion pic
jackhughes shouldāve included my mean swing
lhughes_06 too bad you donāt have a mean swing
user4 your smile is perfect
user5 you two are so perfect together
user6 luke on the jetski is sending me
lhughes_06 so in love with you
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lhughes_06 summer of a lifetime š¤
tagged yourusername, jackhughes & _quinnhughes
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user1 you better know how to fight luke im gunna take your girl
user2 my favs
yourusername omg š
user3 THE CURLS
user4 biggest simp in jersey
user5 the kissā¦.on the cheekā¦.im done. when is it my turn ? š
jackhughes iām suprised you didnāt post a whole collage of just y/n
edwards.73 me too tbh
user6 i love you
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yourusername gonna miss this āļø
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user1 beautiful
user2 youāre actually perfect
lhughes_06 baby youāre so cute
edwards.73 how come you never say this to me?
user3 šš
user4 oh so youāre perfect
user5 gorgeous
arianabrown YES BITCH SERVE FACE
liked by rutgermcgroarty, lhughes_06 and others
yourusername made it to jersey šŖ»š¤š¹
tagged lhughes06 & arianabrown
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arianabrown youāve never looked more beautiful
njdevils we loved having you
user1 YESS IVE BEEN WAITING
user2 wag alert
user3 that first picture omg stunning š
jackhughes still thinking about those pastries honestly
arianabrown so real I dream of them
user4 photo dump of the century
user5 thereās nobody to talk about this with
user6 the life I crave
lhughes_06 ā¤ļø
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yourusername life recently: work, ariana, and missing my boyfriend
tagged arianabrown & lhughes_06
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user1 serving tho
umichhockey we miss your bf too š
user2 youāre so pretty
user3 the difference in shoe sizeā¦.
edwards.73 luke šš¦
yourusername there are kids on this app.
user4 if luke can pull herā¦.ww all have hope
user3 lukeās hot wdym
arianabrown stop why do I look so concerned yet so content
user5 my favs
user6 š¤©š¤©
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yourusername happy anniversary love š
tagged lhughes_06
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user1 happy anniversary to the king and queen
markestapa itās felt like an eternity
yourusername is that a diss ?
markestapa definitely
user2 stop iām in love with you both
user3 the perfect couple
user4 ā¤ļø
lhughes_06 forever
user1 okay edward cullen š©
user5 luke has never looked happier
arianabrown MOTHER AND FATHER
edwards.73 mark are you gunna let this slide? I thought she only called you daddy
markestapa š«£
arianabrown STOP
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lhughes_06 1 year with you ā¤ļø
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user1 no iām fine š
user2 stop this is so cute
user3 oh yall in love love
yourusername and many more š„°
arianabrown sheās so cute
user4 king shit
user5 men take notes !
user6 happy anniversary
jackhughes baby bro so in love š
rutgermcgroarty I meanā¦youāre welcome
yourusername rutger.
āāāāāāāāā ą±Øą§ āāāāāāāāā
a/n: not spell checked š¤Ŗ make sure you check out the rest of the published insta edits for my fics and stay tuned for the upcoming ones š¤
I do not own any of these photos - full credits to original owners.
#š ā¹Ėā - cute and hughesy insta edit#hockey#nhl imagine#nhl x reader#hockey imagine#nhl fic#nhl fanfiction#nhl hockey#nhl#nhl blurb#nhl insta edit#nhledit#hockey insta edit#hockey blurb#hockey fic#michigan wolverines imagine#michigan hockey#luke hughes fluff#luke hughes fic#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes imagine#luke hughes#luke hughes insta edit#new jersey devils imagine#new jersey devils
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hello dear, do you think we can get a little snippet from the if i had words sequel? āŗļø you confirming that thereās actually a sequel happening made my whole week. š©·
hellooooo my dear! yes you may <333 i think i owe you a long one since it's going to be a bit of a wait--can't remember if i posted this one before but here you go!
IV. THING ONE AND THING TWO // WOULD YOU LOVE ME IF I WAS ANYTHING BUT WHAT I AM?
A scorpion asks a frog to carry it across the river. The frog hesitates, fearing that the scorpion will sting it, but the scorpion tells the frog not to worry because if the scorpion stung the frog it would doom them both. The frog agrees and allows the scorpion to sit upon its back. Halfway across the river the scorpion stings the frog.Ā
āWhy did you do that?ā the frog asks as they both begin sinking into the water.
The scorpion replies, āitās in my nature.āĀ
āThatās a stupid story,ā Max says, biting at his thumb nail. Beside him, Victoria is dead asleep.Ā
Sophie gently removes his thumb from his mouth. āAh, do we need to paint this again?āĀ
āNo,ā he huffs. He sits on his hand. āItās a stupid story. The frog should have known.āĀ
āWell, thatās the moral. Cruel people will always behave in cruel ways. We canāt expect them to be any different.āĀ
āBut the scorpion isnāt cruel. Itās like when I got stung by a bee, and dad said it wasnāt the beeās fault because flowers are for bees so I shouldnāt go in them.āĀ Ā
Sophie purses her lips. āWell, it was a mistake. You didnāt know there were bees in the flowers.āĀ
āOh.ā He turns that over. āSo itās the frogās fault? Because it should know the scorpion can sting?āĀ
Sheās silent for a long beat. āItās nobodyās fault,ā she says at last, her voice firm. She closes the book. āEnough stories, hmm?āĀ
āIām not tired yet.āĀ
āNo? Are you hungry? We still have some treats from grandma.āĀ
And just like that the story was swept clean out of his head.Ā
Years later, he met Charles.Ā
Years later, sweeping around karting tracks was already old hat. He bumped wheels and pushed other children off, and he saw them cry to their parents about it after, and he didnāt feel a thing. It sucked sometimes, the way they treated him after, but he didnāt mind it that much. That was racing; that was life. If they couldnāt handle it, that wasnāt really his problem.Ā
Charles pushed him off the track.Ā
Max shoved him, and Charles shoved back. Charles drove him into puddles and across muddy strips of grass; Charles drove over Maxās tires and across his front wing and smiled about it after. Max gave as good as he got, and he didnāt feel any particular way about it until the third time it happened, when Charles took his helmet off and stood on the second step of the podium and looked a little bored and a little irritated; he was standing above Max that day, but he still hadnāt won.Ā
Oh, Max had thought, and something slotted into place in the back of his headāsomething strange, something unusual. Oh. Itās in your nature.
He understands Charles, now. Beautiful creature; unstoppable thing, formed out of the same stuff that Max is. Charles is a shark in bright red water: to stop moving is to stop breathing. Max is holding his breath, these days. Heās holding his breath, and holding his daughter. Heās making bottles and reading storybooks and when he lays down in bed at night every muscle is tense until he gets up the next morningāevery muscle like a spring, waiting for the gun to go off so that he can run and run and run until he reaches wherever it is that Charles is in the world.Ā
āI miss you,ā Charles tells him on the phone. Max had seen him win in Baku earlier that day. Heād held the trophy high on the podium and Max had pointed to the television and said thatās Mama, and Julie had squirmed and laughed at Max but not looked where he was pointing.Ā
āI wanna come home. I miss you so bad. I feel like Iām going crazy sometimes. I canāt sleep at all, I just want to be around you and Julie.ā
āYeah?ā Max murmurs. Heās laying on the couch, his head against the arm. Julie is on his chest with one thumb in her mouth, and when he cranes his neck he can kiss her head and smell her strawberry baby shampoo. āI miss you too.āĀ
āWhat do you miss the most?āĀ
āJust having you around. Hearing you in the other room. Knowing youāre close by.ā His throat feels tight; he swallows hard against the feeling.Ā
The line crackles as Charles breathes, even and slow. āIf you close your eyes right now is it just like Iām there?ā he says quietly.Ā
He thinks about doing it for a beat, but canāt; he canāt imagine the feeling of the illusion shattering when Charles hangs up. āCharles, come on,ā he says, and his voice sounds pinched even to his own ears.Ā
āMax.āĀ
He clears his throat; settles his hand on Julieās back and rubs little circles, over and over. āTell me about the race,ā he says instead. āYou didāafter the first stop you were doing such a late apex for a while into turn 1, but thatās so hard on the new tires when theyāre not in the window.āĀ
āThe sun was setting. There was a cool patch of pavement on the outside that made it easier,ā Charles says. āMax, Iāll be home so soon.āĀ
āDid that work though? Even on hards? I have had that work on mediums, but you run the risk of so much spin there.āĀ
āI short-shifted.āĀ
āTo get more heat into the rears?
āI know this is hard for you, baby,ā Charles rushes out, and Maxās breath stalls in his throat.Ā
āI donāt want to talk about it.āĀ
āBut you know itās okay, right? I miss you and Iām coming right back as soon as I can. Iām going to try for tomorrow, okay? I know it hurts right now, but weāre always a family even when weāre not together. Iām always coming back. Whenever Iām away from you Iām trying to find a way back to you.āĀ
Maxās eyes burn. He breathes very slowly and very shallowly. His lips wobble, so he presses them together. His throat aches, so he clenches his jaw until he doesnāt feel it.Ā
āDo you understand?ā Charles says. He sounds broken. āIām coming right back.āĀ
His lungs stinging, he takes a breath finally. Itās tight and uneven, more like the inhale before a sob.
#please be nice to my draft tho i havent edited it at all#if i had words#writing tag#this is also angsty so sorry#a lot of the sequel has fables and fairytales spread throughout and most of the time its fun
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moots as songs
ćć
¤šŗ ā ą£Ŗ å MOOTS AS KPOP SONGS įµįµ ā ā ā ā
i went with the vibes they give off, and added some lyrics to highlight it!! tried to do as many mooties i could i hope you all like it!! i excluded those who have been inactive for long and those i ain't interacting with that much, hope you understand > 3 < love you all! ( MUTUALS )
ā¶ @jaesvelvet better things by aespa . . that i, i-i got better things to do with my time. better things to do with my time, do with my time than you
ā¶ @luvhyun3 tomboy by g-idle . . it's not here, i'm not a doll. yeah, i'm a fucking tomboy! this is my attitude, yeah, i'll be the tomboy
ā¶ @ctrlemis jopping by superm . . champagne life, that's all you want. don't stop letting it go 'cause we got that glow
ā¶ @enhalpy love letter by bol4 . . so warm like you, you are my sunshine, iāll do anything. feel like i feel like iām surfing your love, feel like iām reaching the moon
ā¶ @nyukyujs love scenario by ikon . . we met and became a memory that can't be erased. it was a commendable melodrama, a pretty good ending.
ā¶ @koishua quarter life by tomorrow by together . . it feels like i'm walking in place, quarter life crisis. thrown into a life without an exit, on this road that doesn't know the end
ā¶ @boyfhee you & me by jennie . . i love you and me, dancing in the moonlight. nobody can see, it's just you and me tonight. just a little touch my world stops
ā¶ @okwonyo my world by illit . . this is my world, it might seem a little strange. this is my world, this is truly the real me. each moment is my overindulgence, why does it seem strange? this is me. let me show you my world
ā¶ @atrirose either way by ive . . some say i sound full of myself, that i'm just showing off. it's not about who's right or wrong, just like how we all love differently
ā¶ @eeunoia inception by ateez . . feel like dreaming a dream i've never seen even in dreams, it's too vivid to conclude it as just a dream. you are the dream i live in, the dream i can never awake from
ā¶ @leaderwon hard to love by blackpink . . i'll make it feel like heaven, but i swear i'm not a saint. and you won't see the truth 'causŠµ i'll be kissing it away
ā¶ @tyunni new jeans by new jeans . . look, it's a new me, switched it up, who's this? new hair, new tee, new jeans, do you see? so fresh, so clean, make it feel like a game
ā¶ @jjunae pop by nayeon . . baby, baby, you're out of control. so you're under my control. before the excitement stops, i wanna make it pop, pop, pop, you want it?
ā¶ @stariekis one spark by twice . . i wish for forever, yes, forever. we're sparkling beautifully, i'm sure it'll be beautiful. cause my heart is burning, burning, burning. even if itās dazzlingly beautiful and painful, itās our golden days
ā¶ @lheebra don't wanna cry by seventeen . . i think it will show up, just wait. i have to find you, i have to find you. because if i cry now, i might not be able to see you. i don't want to cry
ā¶ @isoobie smart by le sserafim . . i am a child who will become a butterfly. what i want is victory. i'm a smarter baby, smarter, i see through it and break through.
ā¶ @fakeuwus cupid by fifty fifty . . a hopeless romantic all my life, surrounded by couples all the time. so skeptical of love, but still, i want it more, more, more. i gave a second chance to cupid
ā¶ @lilyuwon flower by jisoo . . guided by the gently blowing wind, because you're the one who doesn't catch it. spring comes, only the scent of flowers remains
ā¶ @ms-no1kpopstan darari by treasure . . i watched you, i was too stunned to speak, it still circling around you. i can't take my eyes off you
ā¶ @theyluvvaubery really really by winner . . the most beautiful thing in my eyes right now is you lady, oh. if my feelings for you were money, i would be a billionaire
ā¶ @jungqkook true by yaori . . tell me the truth, this is the end. i feel like losing myself. can't find my way, to not lose you, why is it so complicated?
ā¶ @heesbaby run bts by bts . . if we live fast, let us die young. two bare feet are our gasoline, yeah, yeah. let's go, are you ready? run bulletproof, run, yeah, you gotta run
ā¶ @heelvsted maverick by the boyz . . super villain in the mirror, i run away, chasing, farther away. super bad trouble, i'm just on my way. cut out the scenes from a corny hero movie. everything's just a game to me,
ā¶ @cornenhapovs loco by itzy . . surrounded by my thoughts of ya, i think i'm a little obsessed, i feel like i was born to love ya. such a rush, you're making me lose my mind
ā¶ @taeghi celebrity by iu . . have no idea above your lowered head what the bright lights are (shining towards) it's fine to take your time but i hope you notice, at last. the one and only
ā¶ @jaylaxies step back by got the beat . . you'd better shut your mouth and stand back or else give it a go. try climbing your way up hereYou can't even dream about this level, this isn't the place for you
ā¶ @moon7jay monster by exo . . why is my heart racing? youāre beautiful, my goddess. iāll knock so will you let me in? youāve already fallen for me, donāt be afraid, love is the way
ā¶ @alvojake pandora by mave . . everyone is heartless but so we are fearless. no one can stop us, never been so careless. hold on tight, string of our hope, so let us sing, say my name. shout it out, let me hear that thing
ā¶ @sserasin future by red velvet . . don't let me forget my dream where the stars are pouring down, we will end up together. you are another future of mine, a way for love to last forever
#š¦¢Ģ¼ą£³ ā Ł«Ł« ā½ anon ā#ļ¹ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½āŖØ.ļ¹ šš šš§š šš„š¬ ĖĢµį“ĖĢµ#ąØą§ . . šošØš š°ašŗš²s įµįµ#i did not include enha for some reason lmao
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//just me venting about sukuna haters sorry
Not me seeing so much discourse about whether sukuna is a well written villain or not... he essentially has no backstory shown as of yet and we barely know anything about him but he is still one of the most naturally interesting and compelling characters in the whole damn series bro š buckle up bc its about to get lengthy (im just glazing sukuna in this post ngl so š§āāļø)
so many whiny ass mfs are weeping about how he "doesn't have any personal goals or a proper reason to be a villain" when that is the whole point???? He lives on his own desires and satisfactions and does whatever he wants to, because he is capable enough to do that. Mfs want "real villains" but cant even handle sukuna š ive seen too many shit ass threads and poorly articulated "critiques" on his character that dont make any valid points. If you can't even separate your personal dislike of a character from your analysis of their writing, dont even bother posting that shit please ššš the fact that we haven't even gotten any information about his background yet and people are jumping the gun about him being "poorly written" is already saying a lot š¤Ø
The fact that yall are so bitter and angry about him that you can write 500+ words about how oh-so-terrible of a villain he is kinda proves that he's doing his job well tbh šāāļø
What also bothers me to no END is how people compare him with villains of other series, who had compelling sob stories that made people empathise with them. Thats nice and all but why should all villains have grand ideals and be subject to feelings of empathy/sympathy from their audience?
Part of what makes sukuna so interesting is how he's not tied down by morals, rules or long term goals in life. He doesn't limit himself, which is what makes him an unpredictable character. He's completely left behind what it means to be human in many ways, and he's clearly not a character written to be empathised with. He is very purposefully inhumane and distant from everyone else, and that feeling transcends from within the series to real life as well. There is a clear lack of understanding bc most of us can't comprehend what its like to just live without being goal-oriented.
Sukuna is a true anomaly in the sense that he doesnt really fit in any kind of box within the series. He's born from man, but its clear that he separates himself from humans (and nobody else considers him human, either). He's not a cursed spirit. He hovers between life and death. The narrator referred to him as the honoured one, whilst angel referred to him as the disgraced one.
These little contradictions in his character make him all the more complicated and interesting to think about. And even recently, he's been shown to waver a little bit momentarily in the manga, questioning his own irritation at yuuji. He's capable of self reflection, and though sukuna does whatever he wants for the most part, he doesn't blindly go into things without some thought first, he's a constant thinker and analyser, and an intelligent one at that.
And honestly, he is always such a joy to watch and read, his personality is so flavourful, and the way he carries himself is very attractive. He's not afraid to get messy or of getting hurt, theres so much chaos in the way he does things and yet he also has a huge element of gracefulness to him, which shines through the poetic way he speaks. Its undeniable that sukuna simply oozes charisma...
And this isnt talked about enough but this man is genuinely so effortlessly funny (in a kind of sinister way i guess?) Like yes he is an old ass man having real beef with one FIFTEEN YEAR OLD for very little reason, he accidentally healed yuujis arm and somehow expected him to be grateful for it despite how he literally ripped his heart out afterwards, then he proceeded to sit on him after kicking him down likeeee š what kind of behaviour is this sir
His facial expressions at yorozus yapping š THE WAY HE COMPARED YUUJIS FACE OF DESPAIR TO THE HARIMA STATUE šššššššš omg that was so foul but i was fucking losing it ngl
How he randomly compared gojo to a fish and started talking abt his scales... thats a very unique and descriptive comparison, isnt it? Even in the recent leaks, he was 100% ready and squaring up to a literal child talking abt "youre starting to get annoying" LIKE HELPPP š HE FR SAID "fuck them kids and fuck you too"
I saw someone saying that sukuna has no passion, like are we talking about the same character....? This man is a literal jujutsu NERD šš he truly recognises talented sorcerers and the only time hes seen to be having genuine fun is when hes fighting a mf... is that not passion? This is literally sukuna when it comes to jujutsu: š¤
Anyway im done here now, im pretty sure i missed a lot of things i couldve talked about as well but ive done enough yapping
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long mediation on jade and daveās relationship - part 2
part 1 is here
this part is essentially about dave and jadeās personalities, their basic dynamic, and how it works. and addressing some things ive seen said about dave in moments that people remove from context because they dont weigh these contexts and prior ones. if you want a post that goes into daveās attitude towards jade (conclusion: he cares about her a lot) here it is
part 2: switcheroo + misconceptions about dave's role in dave and jade's relationship
something interesting i realized while writing this is the thing about grimbark jade is that she is no nonsense when her normal self is all about nonsense and entertaining silly things because she can see the merit in them. in fact she is always having a chuckle caused by dave's sense of humor and im sure dave got used to interacting with jade like that so wtf with grimbark jade
EB: so i think i have to get TG to use his copy to save her! EB: but that jackass won't shut up and stop rapping and stuff. GG: hahaha GG: he is so silly! (p.293)
TG: snows a big chilly carpet of nobody gives a shit TG: like old man winter spread around his nasty mayonnaise and turned the landscape into his personal asshole sandwich GG: eww dave no TG: when i look around all i see is the miles of unharnessed snowmen im just too damn cool to build GG: no this is so lame GG: i am hearing an insane and stupid guy say stupid idiot things while wearing dumb sunglasses for lame morons! TG: whoa jade with the fucking haymaker TG: i need to go look for my teeth on the canvas as soon as shit stops spinning and there stops being like ten of you GG: heheheh GG: why dont we play in the snow later (p.3024)
GG: i cant get over how tiny this thing is! GG: its so cute GG: so the baby frogs show up on this pad here? GA: Yes GG: i cant wait to try it GA: What Are You Laughing At There GG: oh GG: lol GG: dave just has a lot of funny stuff to say about all this GA: What Is He Saying GG: oh you know, a bunch of silly stuff GG: theres too much to copy/paste! GA: Hmm GG: here ill save it all to a file and send it to you -- gardenGnostic [GG] sent grimAuxiliatrix [GA] the file "daveisafunnyguy.txt" -- GA: Okay Im Laughing Pretty Hard At All That GG: hahaha (p.3312)
JADE: *snicker* JOHN: what? JADE: nothing JOHN: is someone messaging you through the game? JADE: hehe JOHN: who is it? JADE: pffff! JOHN: dammit, jade... JADE: its davesprite, hes playing too JOHN: oh. JOHN: don't tell him any of our strategies. he is the enemy! JADE: we have strategies? JOHN: um... JOHN: ok, first, tell him we have strategies. then, don't tell him them. JADE: hahahahahahaha JOHN: oh god. JOHN: what is it now? JADE: did you know... JADE: davesprite is a funny guy? JOHN: meh, he's alright i guess. JOHN: i give most of his jokes a passing grade. sometimes as high as a solid b+! JADE: i just told him you said that JADE: davesprite says to tell you "youre basically welcome for being born 14 years ago and 1 year ago you ungrateful douche" JOHN: oh, like him taking credit for my existence isn't so old by now! (p.4732)
in a way i feel like their roles parallel dave and jade in the earlier acts from homestuck, but inverted (and twisted/not as nice cause grimbark jade is under nefarious influences)
dave approaches the world from a highly pragmatic position. his ego (in the purely psychoanalytical sense) that he holds himself to, shows to the world, and what he tends to reason through is one thatās about relaxed competence. heās critical of unreasonable actions and takes it upon himself to guide others into being more efficient in practical, realistic ways. he sees that jade struggles in these initially but she readily accepts his help, which is more than glad to provide.
this doesnāt say anything bad about jade harley. this doesnāt make her stupid, or in need the saving from a knight in shining armor nor does it make dave condescending towards her. itās information that he is able to provide and that she appreciates and trusts his assistance with while she sees through the things that she prioritizes like helping others with matters of hidden opportunities / the big picture and interpersonal needs which are completely out of daveās league, something he highly respects but doesnt feel its his greatest asset towards other people like jade does. jade is very into science and gadgetry, but remember that she relies heavily on her sharp intuition rather than straight up pragmatism like dave would. jade really is exceptional and multitalented but she doesnāt know how she does the things she does half the time!
(p.790)
even though dave acknowledges this it doesnāt really bother him
TG: hey TG: oh TG: youre asleep again arent you TG: or do you even know if you are TG: i still dont know how that works TG: its like nothing means anything TG: its so cool getting hella chumped by your coquettish damn riddles all the time TG: i dont know why i believe anything you say im like the grand marshal of gross chumpage (p.829)
GG: i want to tell him happy birthday and ask him about his birthday package! TG: oh yeah TG: i was being sort of cagey and told him to check the mail cause i was wondering if mine came yet GG: i think it did! TG: yeah? GG: and i think mine came too TG: so uh TG: i guess you want to know if he likes it or something? GG: no!!!!!!! GG: he will not open it GG: he will lose it!!! TG: oh TG: uh TG: wow sorry to hear that i guess? GG: no its good actually! GG: because he will find it again later when he really needs it GG: which of course is why i sent it in the first place! TG: see like TG: i never get how you know these things GG: i dont know GG: i just know that i know! TG: hmm alright (p.382)
TT: Jade is connected with you? TT: Where did she get the discs? TG: i dont know how does she do any of the loopy batshit nonsense she does (p.1401)
but because sheās gotten by on intuition and her dreams for most things, sheās not as adapted to the rationale behind actions. dave can sense her struggling and wants to help because itās basically his mission for everyone, not just jade. but thatās the information that jade is glad to be led by and continues to unconsciously prompt him with. she encourages his practical ways and doesnāt tell him to fuck off or just straight up ignore his advice which dave interprets as his strengths being needed by someone else
GG: dave! GG: are you busy? GG: i dont have much time! GG: i am about to make my entry item, and its a little confusing GG: i think the more players we add, the trickier they are to... um...... GG: activate! GG: like yours was GG: i figured we could brainstorm about it, while john fusses with the kernel GG: helloooooo? TG: nak nak nak GG: :o (p.2907)
TG: yeah honestly i figured wed have to do something like this TG: so i guess here we are doing it GG: doing what?? TG: well youre my server player remember GG: yes TG: i need you to deploy something first TG: in my apartment TG: in a few hours ill go back there and we can continue this GG: oh jeez, a few hours???? -- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- -- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- TG: yeah TG: as in a few seconds TG: im back at my place now GG: fastest hours :o TG: yeah TG: now TG: deploy the intellibeam laserstation GG: but that costs so much grist!!! TG: no it costs practically nothing TG: check out how much ive got GG: omg... GG: what does this thing do? TG: its mostly pretty stupid and useless TG: but itll come in handy here TG: it reads captcha codes GG: on the back of cards? TG: yeah GG: but GG: we can already read those! TG: some are too garbled and complicated TG: the human eye cant decipher them TG: needs sophisticated scanning technology TG: and artificial intelligence to figure it out GG: hmm GG: but isnt the whole point of captchas that only humans can read them? GG: and not robots??? TG: yeah well TG: thats why this is so dumb (p.3025 / 3026)
TG: thisll be the disc i use for your connection TG: while the original will stay bound to roses connection GG: so you will be the server for BOTH us ladies??? GG: you just keep getting smoother, i cant handle all this smoothness TG: well technically TG: i will be your server TG: and past me will stay as roses server TG: which is to say present me will TG: the one in the black suit GG: ohh... GG: i guess that makes sense TG: he can keep managing her for a while TG: until she sorta checks out soon and becomes totally useless TG: then he can start hopping around time like i did TG: make a ton of money and stuff TG: eventually become me TG: and become your server player GG: ok i think i understand that! TG: yeah see its not hard to get the hang of TG: in the meantime ill kind of loiter around this timeframe to help you out for a while GG: yessss thanks dave <3
TG: im just going to cut right to the chase and upgrade your alchemiter so you can avoid a lot of bullshit TG: ill give you some codes and you can punch cards and slip em into jumper blocks GG: yaaaaaaaaaaaay! (p.3030 - 3032)
jade has strengths that dave has weaknesses in too, which dave himself points out!!!
TG: ok so TG: the egg is now in a nest made of shitty swords and soft puppet ass TG: please advise GG: i think your sprite wants to hatch it! GG: awww TG: do you think thatll take more than four hours GG: hmm... GG: i dont know it looks like its pretty warm where you are TG: its hot as the sizzle side of the steak GG: maybe not too long then???? GG: i guess we'll find out! TG: maybe i should try to get it back TG: and put it in the microwave GG: :( (p.1507)
dave assumed the egg needed to be heated to break and allow him to enter the game, so his course of action is to go up there and get it himself and use whatever means are at his disposal. that is a logical, straightforward thing to do. he doesnt rely on uncertainty and blind trust that things will just work out when he has the ability to take action in a way that makes sense; thatās jadeās thing. but it turns out jadeās intuition for how to solve daveās entry puzzle was right! it was actually a test of patience. he later says this to jade
GG: you guys are all so much better than me, i feel sooooo lame TG: we all start out somewhere TG: remember how i was scrambling up that tower to get that egg like an idiot TG: what the hell was i doing TG: i was like goddamn pooh bear in a tree reaching up his fat fuckin pooh paw for some mother fuckin honey GG: heehee TG: so even though im awesome now at one point i was plausibly likened to an autistic stuffed animal TG: and you even knew what to do TG: you told me how it worked all christopher robinning my ignorant ass about that egg TG: but i was all like IM A LITTLE BLACK RAIN CLOUD BITCH WATCH ME CLIMB TG: so maybe youre startin out with more sense than me GG: maaaybe GG: :) (p.3025)
hes pretty much like jade's hypeman but in his own sort of lowkey way and is actually sweetly reassuring to her. this includes davesprite btw
GG: those stupid things are impossible to kill :( TG: no you can kill them TG: youll get better dont worry (p.3024)
GG: hmmmm... GG: i dont know if i get that but ok! TG: well yeah TG: my thing is time yours is space TG: pretty different things TG: you GET things about space i dont TG: or you will GG: i will? TG: yup (p.3024)
DAVESPRITE: as a sprite im supposed to help him with his quest JADESPRITE: oh yeah JADESPRITE: im supposed to help jade too, but...... JADESPRITE: *sniffle* DAVESPRITE: shes doing alright dont worry about it JADESPRITE: ok, ill try... JADESPRITE: shes a lot more brave than me i think JADESPRITE: she brought me back thinking i could help her and all i did was disappoint her and everyone else JADESPRITE: you came back as a sprite and youre managing to do important things... JADESPRITE: but i just feel so scared and helpless DAVESPRITE: sounds like you came back because jade made the decision for you DAVESPRITE: i made the decision to come back myself maybe itd be different if you had the same chance JADESPRITE: i dont know if i would have if i had the chance JADESPRITE: but i would like to not feel so useless to everybody DAVESPRITE: i think everyones on top of this DAVESPRITE: theres not much for us to do anymore (p.3927)
DAVESPRITE: so jade must have done something right DAVESPRITE: to wake her up and get the forge going DAVESPRITE: dont know what she did though JADESPRITE: probably something amazing JADESPRITE: she is still working so hard to help everyone JADESPRITE: i guess i used to be that way... JADESPRITE: but ive completely forgotten how DAVESPRITE: are you sure (p.3945)
JADESPRITE: it reminds me of when i died JADESPRITE: and i was trying to wake john up JADESPRITE: i was scared then too JADESPRITE: but i didnt let the fear stop me from trying to save him DAVESPRITE: what would you want to do DAVESPRITE: if you werent scared JADESPRITE: i have no idea JADESPRITE: i guess try to help JADESPRITE: what is there to do? DAVESPRITE: well DAVESPRITE: i was going to bring this sword to dave JADESPRITE: oh noo JADESPRITE: does that mean youre going to leave? DAVESPRITE: no DAVESPRITE: i was gonna say DAVESPRITE: im not in any shape for more adventuring DAVESPRITE: i figure this is probably my last stop JADESPRITE: :( DAVESPRITE: but maybe this is a way you can help JADESPRITE: you mean... JADESPRITE: that i should give him the sword? DAVESPRITE: if you want JADESPRITE: but i dont want to leave you here either DAVESPRITE: maybe you dont have to actually go anywhere DAVESPRITE: you oughta have a lot of special powers remember DAVESPRITE: because of ascending to doghood JADESPRITE: oh yeah! DAVESPRITE: try doing your spacey thing DAVESPRITE: i mean not to sound condescending or anything but its got to be like borderline omnipotence pretty much DAVESPRITE: just put your mind to it (p.3946)
knowing all of this about dave and jadeās personalities and how they work together, iāve see people get on daveās case about making jade slap herself in the face after she put the dead bird into his kernelsprite while he was preoccupied with taking a leak
dave freaks the hell out when he realizes sheās asleep; he needs to wake her up because she needs to help him get into the game while requires pragmatism and reasonable actions so that heās not crushed to death by an imminent meteor. or falling plumbing fixtures. the goal wasnāt to show her whoās in control or whatever or to be mean (do people seriously think he would do that to be mean to her just to slap a girl?) it was strictly to wake her up since he has no means of influencing that besides getting creative
while asleep, jade doesnāt think logically and certainty not to the extent dave needs her to be right now. sheās scattered lalalalala and can forget about limitations or consequences in the real world and also has a short memory span while dreaming: e.g. ā4 hours until what?ā and she put something into the kernelsprite right after dave asked her not to because she forgor </3 and jade does acknowledge this about her dreaming self btw
GG: i mean, i only talked to you when i was asleep! i am kind of different when im dreaming... GG: i forget things, and at times im not totally sure whats real GG: dont you remember thats what its like to dream on prospit? (p.3056)
dave literally says āwe need to wake you up youre not very logical like thisā and he does apologize about making her dreambot wake-up slap her
i also see people say that dave thought of jade as helpless and he needs to be the hero and that's why "davejade is not good actually"
TG: but ok i mean isnt that what heroes should be doing TG: working to take down the bad guy without a whole lot of this fuckin grandiloquence and these huge sweeping plans that got nothin to do with fighting him TG: like always biding our time and tiptoeing around the unbeatable god boss TG: johns too nice to get mad TG: rose spends all her time calculating TG: too focused on machiavellian ploys of sabotage to try anything drastic TG: jade is TG: i dont even know TG: probably more a liability if she got it in her head to take him down TG: if anything id bet she just needs protection GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU S4Y1NG H3R3 D4V3, 1N TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON TH4T 1S ST1LL B31NG 4BOUT YOU TG: im just wondering TG: when does someone actually step up TG: jacks got shit to pay for (p.3703)
this minor thread gets followed up on in the pesterlog where jade contacts dave and eventually she concludes jack needs to be stopped and dave's like ... "oh shit" in his head. "oh shit" as in jade's got Game good for her go jade, "oh shit" as in she's going to be ripe for the stabbing cause the idea is in her head now, and "oh shit" as in this moment is the seed of why im going to have to rehearse jade accidentally killing me over and over and i cant tell her about it. due to this he is always fated to die in the alpha timeline both standing up to jack and to protect jade. it's woven into his story. but he was wrong about everyone else also! which i dont see brought up when that quote is used? rose does something drastic (pilots the moon into the furthest ring) and john gets mad (on the ship) and jade is the opposite of needing protection (sheās the only one jack wonāt stab and also she ends up so fucking OP she has to be basically written out of act 6) so it's less a thing about jade specifically but to show that in hindsight dave was wrong about ALL his friends. which is an interesting discussion to be had about him in itself, but not now. this is the most sane and well-thought out interpretation of it ive seen
"In general, though, I think Dave has a tendency not uncommon to [thirteen] year olds (orā¦ humans in general, if weāre being honest here) to cast everyone else as a player in his own story and characterize them in ways that fit what he wants. Thereās the famous chunk where he says John never gets angry, Rose will never stop scheming long enough to take action, and Jadeās a liability, only to be proven wrong in every count. That fits his understanding of these people and his ideal relationship with them - friend, actor, protector, the one in the group who can be the hero." "Yes, I think Dave probably saw Jade as the most supportive and least judgmental friend. Iām not sure if that impacted his incorrect judgment of her since thatās kind of a pattern for him in general, but I guess it couldāve."
and also putting this solely on dave is kind of ... ehhhhh? because john says the same thing about jade but i don't see anyone getting on his case for it.
CG: SHE AND DAVE RAN INTO JACK, WHICH I'M SURE HE MUST HAVE SAW COMING BECAUSE I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE EXPLOIT TIME TRAVEL SO SHAMELESSLY AS HIM, NOT EVEN ARADIA. CG: SO SHE AND DAVE FOUGHT WITH HIM A WHILE, AND LONG STORY SHORT, HE DIED. EB: what!!! CG: BUT IT'S FINE, I GUESS THAT WAS HIS PLAN, LIKE SOME BIZARRE USELESS LAST STAND, EVEN IF HE DIDN'T TELL JADE WHO WAS PRETTY FREAKED OUT UNTIL I TALKED HER THROUGH IT. CG: JADE SAYS SHE HAS THIS FIGURED OUT, AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO MUCH BUT TRUST HER. CG: THE POINT IS, SHE'S ALL BOOKED UP, AND ALL TOO MORTAL. SO SHE WON'T BE DELIVERING THE BOMB, AND NEITHER WILL YOU. EB: ok, well what about this. EB: since she is mortal, and i am not (sort of), and i don't need to do the scratch for a while, can i go help her? EB: maybe she could use some protection? maybe that is what dave was just trying to do, when he temporarily died. EB: remember, jack is still on the loose! he has killed rose and dave once, and me twice. CG: NO NO NO NO NO NO. CG: SWEET BLEEDING JEGUS, EGBERT, YOU KEEP BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR IMMORTALITY, AND THEN BRAINLESSLY ANNOUNCE PLANS TO GO OFF AND DO SOMETHING HEROIC! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE SHORTEST LIFESPAN OF ANY IMMORTAL IN HISTORY. EB: sorry. :( CG: BESIDES, IT'S A TOTAL NON ISSUE. JACK WOULDN'T HESITATE TO STAB YOU AGAIN, BUT HE WON'T HURT JADE FOR SOME REASON. CG: IF ANYTHING, YOU COULD USE HER PROTECTION. (p.3869 / 3871)
and also keep in mind dave does absolutely change his perception about jade's strength??
DAVE: youll probably annihilate me worse than my bro used to DAVE: dont you have all of your dogs insane powers and like DAVE: god tier space powers on top of all that DAVE: how exactly am i supposed to compete with that (p.6384)
DAVE: gotta keep em napping DAVE: especially jade im sure you know what kind of crooked ass baloneyfuck powers she got DAVE: cant let her turn those against us (p.7485)
so back to grimbark jade and the switching of these roles, dave doesnāt entirely lose his pragmatic bent. thatās still the way he thinks about stuff through but his time on the meteor has softened him and allowed him to become more reflective on big-picture things such as his role in everything
ironically this is the exact reason for his clash with grimbark jade is because sheās trying really hard to make him do stuff and itās stuff that heās not going to budge on because he doesnāt think itās practical
JADE: why not? JADE: our empress can hardly have a knight with such rusty combat skills in her service DAVE: will you cut it out with the evil jade baloney DAVE: im not going to fight you DAVE: my rooftop dueling days are OVER JADE: en garde! DAVE: ugh DAVE: even if we just went balls out jackass BANANAS with our swords here i mean realistically how much appreciable advancement in my battle skills would even result from that DAVE: are you actually thinking this through or just going through the vaguely nefarious motions that come with the territory of being evildog!jade JADE: im gonna go through the vaguely nefarious motions of kicking your ass in a minute if you dont put up your dukes!!! DAVE: yeah you probably will DAVE: youll probably annihilate me worse than my bro used to DAVE: dont you have all of your dogs insane powers and like DAVE: god tier space powers on top of all that DAVE: how exactly am i supposed to compete with that JADE: by using your time trickery! JADE: come on dave do your timey thing JADE: get creative, make lots of copies of yourself or something... outsmart me! DAVE: no! JADE: yes!!! DAVE: ok here i go JADE: !!!!! DAVE: wait DAVE: nah JADE: grrr JADE: dave, just try a little time travel to get this fight started JADE: see look, one of your time doubles is surely predestined to come from a few minutes in the future and appear behind me for a surprise attack, riiiight about... JADE: now! JADE: ... JADE: no wait JADE: riiiiiiiiiight... JADE: ... JADE: ... JADE: NOW! JADE: .... JADE: ..... JADE: dave why is your future self being such a wet blanket DAVE: i told you DAVE: im not time traveling DAVE: i think im giving it up for good actually (p.6384)
one thing floral mentions in her post is that dave is pushing jade for answers about her failed relationship with davesprite
DAVE: why are you dragging that guy into this DAVE: what happened with you and him anyway JADE: none of your business >:p DAVE: it kind of is DAVE: hes bird me DAVE: that clearly means i have a right to know JADE: that doesnt make any sense! DAVE: you said he had issues DAVE: what issues JADE: augh! JADE: forget i mentioned it DAVE: was he talking shit about me the whole time or something DAVE: i know he resents me for being the real dave JADE: dont say that, you arent the real dave! JADE: well you are, but phrasing it like that is so mean! JADE: hes just as real as you, and when you imply he isnt you sound like a jerk!!! DAVE: man i knew it DAVE: i knew he was poisoning your view of me all those years DAVE: and i wasnt there to say anything or defend against his slander so now of course you think im a neurotic douche (p.6386)
and while it is true nobody is obligated to share the details of their relationship, there is a LOT of evidence to believe dave was asking because he wants to be a good person and, to me his words here, and his past and future actions relative to this point, show that heās not as messed up of a person as grimbark jade is making him out to be. letās dive into it. think on this: why does dave care so much what jade thinks about him? he started getting āneuroticā halfway through the conversation once jade brought up her feelings about him
JADE: THE ONLY REASON I THINK YOURE A NEUROTIC DOUCHE IS BECAUSE YOURE ACTING LIKE ONE NOW!!! DAVE: yeah but i only started acting like a neurotic douche like half way through this conversation DAVE: you clearly had an axe to grind with me from the start and i want to know why DAVE: what did i ever do to deserve this shit from you JADE: YOU BROKE MY HEART!!!!!! DAVE: what DAVE: i did DAVE: when (p.6386)
heās genuinely so lost because he hadnāt had contact with any extension of jade in 3 years. alpha timeline dave has been sensitive towards jade for basically forever and especially now that heās had time to grow up. he is not going to allow any version of himself hurt jade, and thats why hes asking so many questions to her about the nature of the relationship and what happened
JADE: ok not you JADE: davesprite did JADE: BUT YOURE BASICALLY THE SAME GUY! DAVE: whoa no way DAVE: thats such an unfair characterization we are completely different dudes JADE: you just said you had a right to know what happened between us because, and i quote, "hes bird me" DAVE: no i know DAVE: i was playing the "hes bird me" card because it was convenient to whatever it was i was saying at the time DAVE: i forget what point i was making when i said that JADE: *growl* DAVE: but thats not the point im making now DAVE: he and me are just DAVE: crazy different yo DAVE: hes got fuckin wings!!! DAVE: he also presumably takes a dump and lays eggs out of the same ghostly hole DAVE: ... DAVE: ew man whyd i have to go there JADE: *SNARL* DAVE: ok if he broke up with you or whatever that was because of his dumb bird issues not my issues DAVE: theres no way i would have done that to you (p.6386)
what dave means to say by āhes bird me because it was convenient to say at the time but it doesnt apply to this circumstanceā is exactly what i was getting at in part 1 of this series of posts. yes, they are the same people at their very foundation, different reflections of a single character, but up to a point. thereās a gray area of whether or not we can call dave and davesprite the same person. in terms of this conflict though, dave should be regarded as a separate individual because of their diverging history up to that point and adolescent-teenage growth in different environments and under different circumstances. even if dave doesn't know what hes trying to say
he wants to know what this alternate version of himself did to hurt jade so much. even if grimbark jade really is bringing dave into some shit he had nothing to do with.
see the thing is, to me dave could have easily handled being accused a lot worse and say something like āyoure overreactingā or something. that wouldve been dickish. but he doesnāt, he never does. he really seems to be more motivated by like, āwoah what?? whats his problem? are these about issues i still have and dont know they were hurting jade or are they uniquely davespriteās?ā
like, this isnāt a joke to him even if his main form of communication through humor to lighten the mood (jade loves daveās silliness dont forget all the times sheās giggled because dave was āso sillyā and āhes a funny guyā). immediately after rescuing the mayor from eviljadeās lava kick, he was going to give davesprite a piece of his mind and this shows he is sincerely concerned about what an alternate version of himself did to break jadeās heart. he REALLY fuckin wants closure on it because he cares about her feelings so much
i donāt see this other side covered in floralās post, but evildog jade here is Also pushing dave to do something that he is uncomfortable with as well, which is to use time travel.
dave stopped time traveling so he wouldnāt āhave to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybodyā, stating he was ānever that cool with itā to rose back in act 5. around the same time when karkat talks to john, he says āTO MY KNOWLEDGE, HE DOESN'T TIME TRAVEL AFTER [FIGHTING JACK WITH JADE], AND HE AND ROSE STAY ON DERSE WAITING FOR THE BOMB UNTIL YOU START THE SCRATCHā which honestly makes me think that whole event was the nail in the coffin for dave on time traveling. seeing himself die fighting jack and knowing it was coming and he couldnt tell jade no matter how much he wanted to that her bullets were going to be the cause. this is the last straw for him regarding time traveling it affected him that much
remember the last lines of pesterlog jade had with dave before being separated? i mentioned it earlier--the one where jade decided jack needs to be stopped and they should ācome up with a better plan than Roseās suicide mission to stop him. Dave suggests the idea is futile, but lets her know sheād come to her own decision regardless, and heād be available to talk later if neededā (from recap 3)
GG: well maybe im just being naive... GG: but a crazy suicide mission does not sound like the ideal solution to me! GG: are you suuuure we cant beat him? GG: i dont know if we should rule it out! TG: well TG: youre about to do what youre about to do TG: and im not going to tell you not to TG: i wont do the bullshit troll thing and tell you what youre going to do and then just dare you not to TG: while knowing damn well you will anyway TG: so ill just say TG: whats next is up to you TG: and if later you want to talk about it TG: im here GG: ok GG: thanks dave! (p.3204)
this was daveās nice causality-free way of saying āyoure going to end up killing me during the jack fight that winds up happening. i cant tell you that im going to die and that youre going to be the one to shoot me, because i know you wouldnt go through with it. that would drag us in a doomed timeline and weād all die anyway, not just me. youre probably going to be freaked out when it happens since i canāt tell you this, so if you want to talk me about it later, ill be here for youā
which, first of all is, holy shit. he cares about her and her feelings so fucking much. and itās nothing new
TT: What about why you went to fight Jack? TG: sure TG: i did that TG: because i wanted to TG: and because i was supposed to TT: Are you sure? TG: yeah i saw my future self fighting him so obviously that had to happen or else id be dead anyway TG: without even getting the satisfaction of standing up to him TT: So what about Jade? TG: what TT: You didn't tell her your expedition with her would result in your death, let alone one she'd inadvertently cause. TT: Or that she'd be stuck with the job of resuscitating you. Did you? TG: what am i really supposed to say TG: hey were gonna hunt frogs til you shoot me through the jack TG: then i die and youve got to make out with me TG: that kind of changes how the whole thing goes doesnt it TT: Not if you're "supposed to," right? TG: what does that even mean TT: I guess you're right. No reason to make an effort to empathize if doing so comes at the price of oblivion. TG: wtf TT: It must be comforting to have your ASPD tacitly supported by predestination. TG: aspd TT: Antisocial personality disorder. TG: oh no TG: this conversation just got bumrushed by a mudslide of fucking awful TT: It wasn't already awful, believing you might be dead? TG: you dont know anything TG: about what i was feeling or what happened on lofaf TG: you were all pavement faced and babbling your throefester speak and flipping off the shit with your own crazy deathwish thing why do you think you know what was going through my head TG: youre just assuming and throwing around psyche buzzwords like aspd complex disorder TG: im telling you if i said anything at all about it she probably doesnt even fire her gun once and all im doing is dragging her into a doomed timeline with me TT: I guess I'm learning to be impressed by your sense of obligation to inevitable misfortune. It's a strange case of inspiration through futility. TG: none of this is that big a deal TG: i just mentioned the basics to her TG: that id stop time traveling soon TG: break out of the loops TG: not have to wonder all the time if i was taking a wrong turn and dooming everybody TG: i was never that cool with this (p.3896)
dave got suddenly super fucking defensive about rose making assumptions about how he felt about fighting jack and knowing jade was going to inadvertently kill him, knowing damn well how jade reacts to seeing corpses (remember that time dave threw his slain body out the window so jade wouldnt see it because āit would probably freak her outā), and the fact that he couldnāt warn her to protect the alpha timeline and also protect both of them and everyone from falling into a doomed timeline. and he knew it was coming the whole time. he was right, rose didnāt know what was going through his head. but his defensiveness here means he had strong feelings about it. not only that but dave saying āwhats next is up to you, and if later you want to talk about it, im hereā shows the amount of trust he has towards her
we see him tell this to grimbark jade straight up his thought process for why he stopped time traveling. and itās spot on with what i said. again, remember that this is the first conversation he has with jade after 3 years being separated
DAVE: but see with time travel DAVE: all the stuff about learning it so you dont have to use it is true DAVE: theres no good that can come of it DAVE: you can crunch the logic on the loops all you want DAVE: but all youre doing is painting yourself into a corner DAVE: creating inevitabilities you have to rehearse and enact or face death for yourself or everyone you know DAVE: and sometimes facing death is the very inevitability you have to rehearse DAVE: and then you wait and wait knowing its coming and knowing it has to happen DAVE: how do you think it made me feel when we were gathering up all those frogs DAVE: and i knew the whole time in a little while you would have to watch me get shot DAVE: but i couldnt say anything or it would mess it all up DAVE: all cause i thought it would be cool to be marty mcfuckin fly DAVE: but instead of shredding johnny b goode on guitar to get my parents to bang DAVE: my crowning performance was doing a funny dance while getting pumped full of lead JADE: ...... (p.6385)
and what fucking broke me yesterday was realizing after all this time, ironically it was DAVE who wound up being the one who had to talk to jade about it.
JADE: sorry dave, you lost me there after the part where i shot you DAVE: damn DAVE: ok lemme start over (p.6385)
ādamn ok lemme start overā bro he really wants to open up to her about this thing heās been stewing on for three years only for it to fall on deaf mind controlled ears. itās so fucking sad
part 3 is cooking and itās going to be about daveās character growth post-meteor and what that means for dave and jade
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Hi, I really like your fics, especially how your portrayal of āThe Outsidersā has a perfect mix of the book and musical, and even the tv show (the character vibes and personalities). And I just wanted to say I hope you keep inspired to write.
(Oh, if itās not too pushy, in those early months after the Curtis parentsā deaths, how did Darry and Soda respond to Ponyās nightmares? Do you think Ponyboy ever tried staying up all night (on more than one occasion) to try and stop the pattern?)
this is so funny and so sweet bc i have never seen the tv show and havenāt fully read the book since i was like 11. maybe 12. all iāve done is sorta poked and prodded at chapters/passages ive needed if anything while writing my fics!!! itās so fun to know i am at least semi book accurate without really intending to be lol. i am always writing for them even if its slow :D
also yes absolutelyyyy. pony in grief is majorly depressive and lethargic, probably heavy insomnia, imo would probably refuse to/couldnt sleep for days at a time and then would crash out reallyyyy very bad and would have crazy nightmares and probably hallucinations too. i have a WHOLE pony grieving inc. depressive episodes, hallucinating, insomnia, selective mutism, ocd, etccc canon in my head that im sure nobody terribly cares about but. do know it is there <333
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I have to say that Iām honestly just in disbelief that people are still NOT talking about Emily Sonnett on their post-game coverage and what she did for the team. I get it. We lost, so itās not like thatās the first thing theyāre going to say. But itās sad to me.
oh lord, dear anon. youāve just opened the can of worms iāve been trying to keep shut lmao. i have a lot of feelings about this, but iām just going to let them fly because i have to let them go.
i couldnāt agree with you more. itās a damn shame that thereās, in some cases, a real lack of zooming out on these shows/podcasts/interviews/whatever. yes, we lost, but i think that the emphasis ive appreciated in some of the ones iāve listened to/watched so far is that this team is going towards the future. and i think sonnett 100% deserves to be a part of that conversation. she had the absolute game of her life yesterday in terms of her national team career, and while itāll be a difficult moment to look back on iām sure, nobody can take that away from her. her leadership on the field - i will bang my drum talking about how you could hear her screaming on the field forever, not because of the act but because of what it means that she was calling for what needed to go down - and her ability to read that game and what had to get done deserves more praise, even though i hope to god that none of the players are on socials right now and will never hear the fresh noise, good or bad.
in my opinion, sonnett was the best centerback in the league in 2021. for the national team, sheās played almost every version of a position on the back line. sheād barely played midfield for the team before yesterday. sheās subbed in during crazy moments, good moments, terrible moments. she started in one of the biggest games for the history of the uswnt yesterday, and she did the damn thing. her career has not been easy (if you havenāt, take a look at the sam and sonnett swatch watch story, it gave me great insight into the ideas of hard work and dedication but also a really poignant (though brief) overview of what makes sonnett great, and her and samās friendship), nor has she gotten her flowers, nor was she set up to succeed, but like tobin said, she fucking did anyway. i hope with time things will change. i firmly believe that from what weāve seen sheāll go down as one of the best teammates the wnt has ever seen. that list is likely neither ranked nor exclusive by any means and itās definitely not short. but itās still true. and honestly, i think that if julie really is retiring, sonnett may have just carved out a home for herself in the six. if weāre lucky, we may even see her and sunny in a continued double pivot role at times, depending on what a game calls for. i can only hope.
thanks for this ask, anon. i needed to get some thoughts out and i really appreciate you coming to my lil inbox to chat lmao
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A Tale of Woe, Ep. 32: The New New Girl
(previous episodes)
"Claire.. tell me how you got here, you don't seem.. like someone who should be locked up in a mental hospital"
["sorry ma'am, just doing my job, the handcuffs are for your own protection.."]
"It's a funny story, Beth. About 6 months ago I checked the wrong box on some health insurance forms I was filling out for work. In the mental health section, I clicked something by accident, answered āyesā to a question I should have answered ānoā. I changed it back, but it was too late, someone had already seen it. The next day when I was sitting at my desk my boss came over with some cops and EMTs and told me I had to go with them right away, the next thing you know they put me in an ambulance and whisked me over here, and I've been here ever since. Do you remember anything yet, about how you got here?"
"Sort of. Stuff is coming back slowly. The last thing I remember, I was at my friend's party. I don't remember past a certain point in the night. Next thing I know I wake up here, and nobody will tell me anything. I can only guess I drank too much and went 'crazy' and someone called 9-1-1, and they came and got me and brought me here, just like you. But I don't remember doing or saying anything to make people think I was insane. I don't even think I was that drunk, I don't even feel very hungover."
"Nobody here cares if you're sane Beth. And nobody here wants to cure you, if there was anything wrong with you. They'll make you worse if they can. I wasn't crazy when I came here, but I might be now! These people want to keep you here, for as long as they can, because it's fun for them, you're just a toy here for them to mess with..."
"Oh God Claire I want to go home! How can I get out of here?"
"If I knew the answer to that I wouldn't be here either. All I can say is, don't trust any of the people who work here. Especially Dr. [Redacted]! I swear if that man was not a doctor he'd be a serial killer."
"You're scaring me more and more. So what do they do at this 'hospital', what are the treatments like?"
"Well, you already saw what group therapy is like here - youāre supposed to talk about your problems but you're not allowed to say anything bad about this place which is the problem. Then there's the drugs. Lots of drugs. Mostly unrelated to whatever mental illness youāre supposed to have. Finally there's what my friend Mystique said would called Desensitization if they did it right, except they do it really really wrong "
"W-what is that?"
"Well, do you have any fears? Phobias? Things that make you squirm? They're going to figure them out, or make a good guess, and then do whatever it is to you, supposedly until you get used to it."
"Can I ask... what is your.. thing?"
"Well, uh.. It's kinda hard to talk about, it's so.. well nothing dangerous, it's just so humiliating.. the only person I talk to about it is Mystique"
"Oh please tell me!"
[".. think warm thoughts, Claire, this thermometer is mighty cold.."]
"They take my temperature, with that kind of thermometer. You know, the kind that goes in back there. Way more often than could possibly be neccessary. And all my drugs all go in that way. Suppositories, like people give babies. I'm not even allowed to have pills! I don't even know what medications I'm on. For all I know it's all placebos, and the way they give it to me is the whole point. And they monitor how often I go to the bathroom, and if I don't go enough... oh God.. the enemas ..ugh.. <sound of trying not to throw up> and the whole time I swear they make a point of talking about it, because that that makes it that much more embarrassing.. like they think it's fun.."
"Oh that sounds horrible.. Is.. Is that what they're gonna do to me?"
"Maybe. Ive heard if they canāt think of anything they start out with little bit of my kind of treatment until they come up with something. Most patients 'graduate' up to something else pretty soon, but they're sticking with it for me because I 'love' it so much <shudder>. Are they letting you wear panties by any chance?"
"No! No bra, no panties, this gown is open in the back. Been like this since I got here."
"Yeah there's a pretty good chance I'm right about what they're planning to start with'"
"<whimper> I'm doomed.. "
"Oh Iām so sorry to have to tell you all this.. we'll do what we can for you, Myst and me. She's been here over a year and knows way more about this place, she even fooled them into wasting their time doing things that don't really bother her. I wish Mystique was here right now. I wonder where she is.."
#medfet#ai generated#own#female patient#ai girl#ai woman#hospital gown#dark medfet#evil doctor#imprisonment#forced drugging#memory loss#multi part fic#medfet fic#medkink#medical kink
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the people in charge of nutrek dont care about the ideals and premise of star trek and star trek: picard is its biggest tell. its a story that would have been much better if they hadnt brought back legacy characters but also would have been much better had it not been written at all because nobody wants more space cops
the moment picard decided to wash his hands clean of the romulan android situation was the moment i knew that oh this isnt the picard everyone has come to know and love. at his core who he is someone that would not let anyone die if he could help it. like thats his thing if he has the power to help he will!! and yeah sure thats shown in pic too but he literally was like āfuck you federation im not gonna help u ignore the romulans cries for helpā when he fr coulda just asked for forgiveness after helping with the power he had as a respected captain or whatever he is. something EVERY oldtrek captain has done time and time again
and yes! characters and their ideals change over time but not fucking like THAT
pic takes a tragedy, a genocide, and takes the romulans, a species that has for the most part always been the enemies of the federation and makes them easy prey. it makes them evil except for those that defected or disguised themselves (look up white passing and what it was actually for and why its a thing). and to put it into more understandable words:
lets say the federation is usamerica (bc for all intents and purposes thats literally what it represents) and that the romulans represent people of color and jews. pic serves for us on a platter that the genocide was just another thing that happened and āits okay they died anyways. romulans have never been on the side of the federation and never wanted to be anyways so no lossā this is what the federation believes
pic has been severely affected by white supremacist and antisemitic ideology and like while yeah science fiction is used to discuss and challenge the oppression we experience today, youd think a franchise that has always preached about diversity inclusion and acceptance would finally get over mass genocide of a ālesserā race as a form of storytelling. its uncomfortable and not in a way in which it makes you think but in a way that shows that even hundreds of years in the future vitriol prevails and it fucking sucks. its harmful towards people of color and jews when even in science fiction we cant escape that someone out there wants us dead
weāve had enough of white supremacy and antisemitism taking a lil seat at the table to cause ruckus there are 100% other things that could have created and interesting dilema. the federation is literally on some cristobal colon shit n the more nutrek that gets made the less star trek holds up the ideals of diversity inclusion acceptance and love that it preached from its inception. we are instead given a narrative that yeah no matter how long you fight no matter how hard you fight you will NEVER win because systemic racism always wins in the end. its a tired and weak narrative and just goes to show if you dont have any other engaging stories to tell just stop telling the stories and stop ruining characters by making them do things they absolutely wouldnt even stand for
we r stuck with characters that suck up to other characters just because of their legacy and the writing when everyone deserves to be way more mad at picard. sidenote all of the genuine progress that has been made in television with diversity and representation has gone like 20 steps back when it comes to portraying people of color bc not ONE from the main crew passes the paper bag test (again ive only seen season one) which further goes to show white supremacist ideals subtly shining through
the point of star trek is that there will be a better more welcoming loving kinder future than the present and the past. and yeah theyve never been good at portraying that exactly because hope cannot exist without despair. but if you do not learn the mistakes of the past you are bound to repeat them and clearly these writers have not been studying the source material
hope this helps idk man i just b saying shit sometimes sorry if some stuff is repetitive
#inspired by @trillscienceofficer ās liveblog of stpic#havent watched since season 1 so if some stuff is inaccurate whoops#and this doesnt even cover my issue with seven as a character but#i cant really say much bc id want to watch the whole thing to make more inferences abt her#tng has also already established the whole are androids sentient thing with data which just feels redundant in pic#star trek picard
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mdarc chapter 1 rewatch part 3, and yes, i am aware of the massive pile of asks i have on all my blogs however as always i shall keep running. no don't stop sending them i absolutely appreciate the attention its just i need to mentally prepare two weeks in advance and cry in order to give a sufficient response. you should give it a try and converse with yours truly again some more if the thought of torturing and killing me slowly sounds fun and exciting to youš
oh look its the child extortion scene
you would think halara, who's got all that trauma from having their family get scammed and destroyed by a friend* they trusted as a child, would be just a tiny bit less comfortable with swindling kids out of their money rn but like you know that's just my thoughts......
they're Reclaiming it <3
*listen. like i know i can't be the only one that thinks that way, but so far so many people ive seen that played this game just went through this gab and thought "oh wow a middle schooler just scammed them that is so crazy lmao", and like. i was under the impression that halara was the one in middle school the entire time, and their "best friend" was just some adult con artist that gained Halara's trust (or just flat out groomed them, honestly) so they could scam their parents. like, you do know this interpretation makes infinitely more sense than... very nefarious 12 year old manipulator investment scamming adults or whatever
has nobody already made a halara "fuck them kids" joke or do i gotta pull out that art program again
this child is like fucking what, five?? literally crying what is your PROBLEM halara...... halara i don't even think he understands half of whatever you're saying to him right now.....................
they didn't even give it back to kei they just tossed it over to yuma???????? lmao?????????
still. they're so fucking cool. i'm giving them the highest honor i can bestow (narcissistic personality disorder and massive autism)
AH WAIT I FORGOT WE ACTUALLY INVESTIGATE SHIT IN THIS GAME OOOOoooooh. ooooooooooh.
i forgot to read the report by the way
*points at jiei colan* SYMMETRY TOOL LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
oh holy shit wait canon age??? jiei is 48??? ok now that is information i am going to blast into my mind permanently and not like. anything slightly more important
casual fatphobia jumpscare
pink blood scene *nods solemnly*
holy shit i know exactly who the culprit is you wont believe it. im so fucking smart. im a genius im a fucking god fondle my nuts while you blow me
i can already feel seth approaching rapidly because my eyes are getting teary and my chest is doing really funny stuff right now. the sense went off
once he arrives i will keep a list of "memorable and beautiful things seth has done in all his 4 scenes" as well as "memorable and beautiful things desuhiko has done in the entire game or perhaps his life" and then compare once we finish. wish me luck
chapter 1 >>>>>>>>>> every other fucking chapter. i am going to kill a man on this hill
THERE HE COMES .
I'm twitching like hell right now. my muscles yearn for the burroughs
UUAAAAAIIIIIGIHUGFFYDFUUUUUGHGHHHHGAAAAAAAAAAGHUSYDGHSDUUUUUHHHHHHHHGGHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! H H
HE HIS STUPID FUCKIDGFG WALK
take that rain cape off you fucking coward this is kanai ward. noticed his lil fox symbol on his back and got reminded of wackpedion's religious seth post but im not gonna look for it now. but yeah he's 100% metal fox church guy i told you this chapter got layerssss to it. this is cinema. video games lore have peaked at rain code chapter 1. scott cawthon has been really silent ever since rain code chapter 1 dropped
his face. its heeehhhhere. i am going tocommit vehicular manslaughter. and ask him why is his skin fucking gray
holy motherfucker I TOTALLY forgot how his japanese voice sounds. he sounds. slightly more normal actually. less pathetic if that was possible. its like he still has hope. help me he sounds so young
i like how. he just calmly extremely quietly tells them to stand up while standing like 20 feet away from them and knowing his voice usually doesn't reach above 30db. like he just stands there mumbling to them to plss get up now knowing they probably can't hear him. he jsut. gives it a try. maybe this time
maybe he's trying to awaken his telepathic abilities.
omg god a charlie radiohead wackpedion oc cameo???? i can't believe that wiki let spike chunsoft put charlie in their game in order to help increase sales it is so cool how they support smaller creators like that once again
that cunty stance. who stands like that.
its not fucking on. how did you notice its not fucking on. or did he just did but tried regardless. dead silence.
truly, a flattering introduction
and he. wasn't even that fucking mad he just gave him a very dissapointed look to go and fix that. which makes me think it has happened before. and numerous times
finally, seth has succeeded. you know whats crazy about that scene?? the peacekeepers were knocked out a solid while ago thats gonna be at least 15, if not just 20 entire minutes. realistically if youre uncounscious for that much time (and im pretty sure halara whacked them on the head) then you're gonna be concussed as fuck perhaps even have serious brain injuries (and im pretty sure halara whacked them on the head HARD) like youre not gonna be ok after this. his voice literally healed them. he commanded them to rise and so they did. combined with the blatant christian themes of rain code (makoto is satan. martina's motorcycle is the ark) the answer is obvious seth is jesus where was i going with this again
seth is so fucking chill its unbelievable. its the fourth time something has happened to him this moment, megaphone guy fucked up the fucking volume and he just. takes a few steps back motions with his arms and doesn't even say anything. if that were yomi he'd just bring out the whip. if that were martina she'd verbally abuse them so fucking hard they would not be able to look her in the eye ever again in their lives. if that were guillaume she'd start screeching at dominic to decapitate that man
i am going to look away whenever they mention Bodies Rotting Quickly In Kanai Ward from now on. i shall not. it is not worth it.
megaphone guy cringe moment
i would say something about the entire "public execution" moment but i think i already said enough before. so.
goodbye seth you absolutely fucking SLAYED it
#mine#rain code#grooming mention#<- its like. in one point and not really that elaborated(?) on just mentioned in the brackets.#mdarc rewatch tag
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i had to download mobile canva for this it was so hard to use on such a tiny screen pfft BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT HEHE ok i shall discuss under the cut bc this was a lil tricky to categorize >.< also ty for letting me use ur template @no-psi-nan <333
ź°ā ā
ā įµā ą¼ā įµā ź±ā Ėā ā” primary partner material ā”ā Ėā ź°ā įµā ą¼ā įµā ā
ā ź±
ā” torisai ā” so ofc first we have saiki bc torisai was my first ever tori ship <333 i mean mikorei was there but it was mostly just them as besties not really romantic yet at the time, but I had major torisai brainrot esp after cat tank thing and all other torisai eps it's sorta what got me to realize i loved tori sm, i love their dynamic and how they bully but still care for each other omg
ā” torikechi ā” my current tori ship (bc torisai became too angsty for me i read all torisai fics and always felt so dead inside after reading the angst ones </3 so torikechi healed my heart) they're just so silly and yes touma bullies tori but he also is a lil baby boy who'd be madly in love with him and probs one of the only ppl who'd be nice to him at the same time, i think it'd be funny if touma kept flirting with his dumbass and tori wouldn't even notice bc he'd be like it's what bros do or like his comments would just go over his head, i just like the thought of oblivious tori pfft
ā” mikorei ā” so first tori ship technicallyyyy but i don't count it bc there was no brainrot at the time but they're aesthetics and like dynamic so enemies to best friends to lovers yk and they'd still argue and annoy each other to bits and pieces but tori would be so loyal and miko could tame him with the snap of her fingers nobody not even saiki could do that (pissing off saiki is fun but pissing off Miko is actually scary (and not the sexy scary like saiki but the scary scary))
ź°ā ā
ā įµā ą¼ā įµā ź±ā Ėā ā” besties with benefits ā”ā Ėā ź°ā įµā ą¼ā įµā ā
ā ź±
ā” yumetori ā” now for this category i don't see anyone / i can see anyone as bwb but i prefer to use this category more as a like part two or less strong primary partner material category bc i can totes see chiyo and tori as best friends who are so desperate they end up falling for each other by accident (esp if it's a friends with benefits relationship) but i don't ship them as hard as I ship the poly psychickers or psychicker ships with tori
ā” satori ā” i can't really see them as a friends with benefits relationship so again it's more of a "i ship them but not as hard as the psychickers" type of thing but i do think they have potential to have that type of relationship, mostly initiated by tori (maybe as a revenge thing against saiki like ha! i tainted ur perfect average guy what're u gonna do sai- oh shit i can see why you like him) i just like the idea of tori trynna ruin him but ends up ruining himself (or his idea of himself) it'd be so funny if out of everyone toris bi awakening is with the most average guy everā¢ (he lies awake at night contemplating life)
ź°ā ā
ā įµā ą¼ā įµā ź±ā Ėā ā” platonic besties ā”ā Ėā ź°ā įµā ą¼ā įµā ā
ā ź±
ā” kubotori ā” i hc them as like found family, i have so many hcs of them i wanna share but haven't bc i doubt anyone wants to hear them (ā Ā“ā Ā ā .ā Ā ā .Ģ«ā Ā ā .ā Ā ā `ā ) but they have a brother dynamic to me tho the ship dynamic is really cute and I love the fanart but personally i hc them having a more platonic relationship
ā” nentori ā” like with kubotori i hc them having a brotherly dynamic, and at first i never thought of them but yk since nendous dad is toris guardian spirit they already got a connection soooo i like to think tori tried getting closer to nendou jr to get rid of his ghost dad so he could pass on already but it didn't work and only gave him another brother lol
ź°ā ā
ā įµā ą¼ā įµā ź±ā Ėā ā” good friends ā”ā Ėā ź°ā įµā ą¼ā įµā ā
ā ź±
ā” shuntori ā” as a ship it's ok ive never really seen fanart or fics except for this one comic in japanese it was soo cute but i prefer them as friends (reluctantly) their connection mainly being thru their interactions with aren, they wouldn't be besties but they'd still hang out together bc of aren he's like the middle man
ā” meratori ā” idk the name for their ship? friendship? i also didn't give them much thought except they have potential (just like almost any tori ship tbh) esp bc i hc tori gets his spending money by working, he's got lots of side jobs just like mera except it's bc he can never keep them for too long they always end up firing him bc he's just bad at keeping jobs and gets too many complaints (mainly from girls) so i like to think they're probs coworkers or have been coworkers (also has tori ever even interacted with mera? has he ever flirted with her? idk i don't remember)
ā” toriko ā” again idk their (friend)ship name but i think tori would def be the type to be swayed by money and saikos power or whatever i imagine him being like oh money will impress the girlies, so at first it's like them disliking each other but then they become friends somehow after interacting so much plus since tori is already friends with aren and nendou who are basically saikos besties he's auto invited to stuff involving them (whether saiko invites him or not the other two do, nendou bc the more the merrier and aren to piss saiko off pft)
ā” haitori ā” i like picturing tori with the himbos (hairo, nendou, aren) admiring their swoleness and low-key digging their body, he follows them to the gym bc he wants to be just like and hairo is basically his hype man and number one supporter and fan and personal trainer pfft
#ik all these are too self indulgent but i just want tori to be happy and have friends#sorry i didnt add in kokomi and imu they just didnt fit and i dont have any hcs for them really#at the moment anyways maybe if i think abt it more like i did with the tood friends crew id think of some hcs#ruchan rambles#i hope i have opened the eyes of some ppl to the potential of some of these ships#toritsuka reita#reita toritsuka#saiki kusuo no Ļ nan#saiki no psi nan#saiki k
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Hello! Ive recently started reading your work and its soooo good! Falling back into my undertale fixation since elementary lmaooo. I was wondering if you have any hcs based on the 3rd chapter when Quinn asked mc if they were in a relationship but what if they were š³ like for a month now or just seeing someone. What would be the game changer or will she let it go? Im just rlly interested and loveee a jealous moment tbh š¤§ (quinn always number one in my heart though)
Thank you so much, Iām so happy that youāre enjoying! I also have randomly found myself back in the fandom after years, but itās been really fun!
I can do you one better than headcanons ā I love this idea and I love pining, jealous Quinn (I am also procrastinating finishing an assignment but shhhhh), so hereās a little ficlet š
truths that bleed through the universes
āWhat about you? Are you seeing anyone?ā Quinn asks. Sheās afraid to ask the question; a preexisting partner would be the ultimate complication.
At the question, your face brightens, a smile rising to your lips. Itās not the sad expression of before, all downcast eyes and a furrow between your brows. This smile is her favourite, one that sheād once seen daily, a smile that makes you seem as though youāre almost taken aback by your own delight. Quinn wants to make a home in the warm depths of it, burrow so deep into the happiness that youāll both lose track of where she ends and you begin.
āWell,ā you say, and that sunshine is in your voice, too, each word tinged with gold. āI was single for ages, but I actually met someone just over a month ago, and weāve been seeing each other since.ā
āOh, nice!ā she says and god, she hopes she doesnāt sound as crushed as she feels. Her mind scrabbles for purchase against the jagged edges of the dismay that fossilises in her chest. āWhatās their name?ā
āSeraphine. Hang on, Iāll show you a picture,ā you say, reaching into your tote bag. āYouād really like her. She lives in the apartment below mine. We met because Stevenās a fucking Houdini and managed to escape from my balcony down onto hers, itās a really cute story. She reckons that Stevenās our cat-cupid. Oh, here you go-.ā
Quinn accepts your phone. On the screen ā itās your fucking lock screen, shit -thereās a photo of you and a monster woman, grinning into the camera. Itās a selfie-style picture and the womanās cheek, a vivid royal purple covered in fine, downy fluff, is pressed to yours, smooshing your smile into an adorable, fishy pout.
āCute,ā she says weakly. āA month, huh?ā
āYep. Weāre taking it slow, but Iām not seeing anyone else, and I donāt think she is either. Iāve even deleted Tinder off of my phone.ā The words are said with raised eyebrows and enough seriousness for her to realise that thatās apparently a big deal.
Something ugly sits on her tongue and sheās self-aware enough to name it jealousy. The irrationality and unfairness of it ā she has no leg to stand on, since sheās in a relationship with eight other people ā doesnāt make the feeling any less potent. It writhes in her, a living creature, filthy and starved and pacing the length of its cage, gnawing at the bars.
Does she make you feel as good as I can? Does she know you like I know you? Thereās nobody who can love you like I can love you. I know you agree. You agree, right? I know youāve been chasing my shadow for five years, just like I used to chase yours. Weāre both a little wrong without the other.
Quinn takes a deep breath and fixes a smile to her face, cooing appropriately when you begin telling her the story of Stevenās jaunt to the downstairs balcony. This is a setback, yes, but all isnāt lost. She really does think that youāre at your happiest when youāre with her, and youāve always agreed. Reminding you of that might be tricky, but it wonāt be impossible, and once you remember? This girlfriend will just be another notch in your bedpost. Countless people have made their mark on your past, a blur of friends and enemies and lovers, and sheās fine with that, because all of that lived experience is what makes you you.
But your present? Your future? Thatās all hers, just like hers is yours, if you want it. Sheāll give it time, show you how good it feels to with her datemates and remind you how well you fit with her, and let you make up your own mind. Let you choose.
If thereās one thing that all of the dimension fuckery sheās been exposed to has taught her, itās that some things are universal truths. Every Sans has a Papyrus. The humans trapped monsters Underground. The sky is blue. The grass is green. These are principles that permeate everything, bleeding through whatever separates each universe.
This is another one of those truths. There is no universe where Quinn Lawson isnāt in love with her version of you, or a universe where you arenāt in love with your Quinn Lawson. You always choose each other, in the end.
Quinnās already made her choice. She just has to wait for you to make yours.
#RTC asks#quinn/reader#quinn lawson#the electrician#resisting the current#thank you so much for this ask! I had so much fun writing this#parallel circuits
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YOU ALSO LIKE THE HTTYD BOOKS??? HELL YES. i have. been losing it over hiccup the second for. hours. and how hes the whole reason the story of the httyd books YET DOESNT EVEN FUCKING APPEAR ONCE IN THE HTTYD MOVIES. theres no hiccup the second equivalent. what the fuck. i could fit them in so easily. make them background context for why the majority of the archepeliago is hostile with dragons. hiccup the seconds death happened and the whole dragon rebellion happened very far ago leading to this sort of hostility but it was so long ago nobody really remembers and hiccup the second is vaguely remembered but nothing important about him actually is. furious doesnt even need to still be alive for this to work. hiccup the second. hautning the narrative. i like him
Ok first off. AHHHHHHH YES YES YES HELLO FELLOW HICCUP THE SECOND STAN!!!!! i actually watched the movie first and then the book so i was like "wow cool" on the first watch but Oh my god i would be so lying if i said i never once wished for a hiccup the second in the movies. Like i KNOW the movies are basically like a whole different thing from the books after the first one but?? BUT???? Idk im very biased i love the guy. Ik you pointed this out but he really is the reason for literally everything in the books if you care enough to look into it and i really do think him being some sort of background lore in the movies would be so cool.. *digging thru the httyd ao3 tags*
incidentally if you ask me to choose between the movies and the books i would say the books in a heartbeat. i love the movies it's one of my favorites but a) the books made me cry harder b) theres no hiccup the second OR hiccup the first c) the book lore is absolutely golden and ive never seen anything else top it and d) the movies overwrote fishlegs into almost non-existance which. HELLO?? EXCUSE ME???????
#hello mutual thank you for freaking out abt this book with me#also IF. IF you ever decide to write abt the hiccup the second in the movies NOTIFY ME INSTANTLY#and to everyone else: go read it if you havent already please i promise it's worth it. spread the httyd brainrot virus#bonus content:#im so so so angry about fishlegs you have no idea#i think at this point we should all just forget that the movie was based on the book series. it would be better for everyone#it's not even one of those 'bad movie adaption' things the movies are so GOOD!!!#have you listened to the soundtracks holy frick it's THE soundtrack ever#moral of the story. read the books and watch the (completely unrelated) movie#asks
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Thing Is (Protective Egon x You)
Itās a part of a slightly larger collection of one-shots but Iām pretty proud of this one so here it comes:
Egon x Reader/You No Y/N Rating: Teen and Up Audiences (minor injuries)
Thing is, heās become too observant.
Egon knows you come to theĀ station around 10 A.M. Thereās no jumpsuits, car or equipment to maintain so you start with theĀ kitchen. Itās not exactly aĀ part of your duties: the guys are fully capable of washing their own, especially since they barely eat in. Yes, okayā heāll agree none of them is aĀ dishwashing phenomenon and they hardly ever manage to finish breakfast before their first callā but you can just leave the plates there and nobody would bat an eye.
You do it though. Without aĀ word.
On Tuesday, while showing you monochromic ectoplasm bonds Type IV (Egon prompts it himself these days, no bribe included), he notices the skin on your hands is chapped. He knows you work with nasty chemicals while taking care of Ecto-Ā 1 but youāve always worn latex glovesā heās seen them hanging on theĀ heater, next to whichever colorful apron you chose for theĀ day. TheĀ only time you work with your bare hands is while cleaning theĀ kitchen. Wiping theĀ counters. Scrubbing theĀ sink.
Youāre busy looking at theĀ molecules of Type IV, while he does some research on what he calls The Collective. The sight of your dry fingers keeps nagging him thoughā thereās no way aĀ simple detergent affects the cells so muchā so after replaying all possible scenarios in his head, he canāt take it anymore. He pauses.
āYou donāt have to do theĀ dishesā, he states out of theĀ blue. āYou know that, right?ā
Ā āMhm.ā
āWhy, then?ā
You swivel in your chair and look at him.
āI mean, why not? Itās like 20 minutes, tops. You come back to aĀ tidy home and it costs me nothing.ā
But it does cost you your hands, he wants to say. Thereās no way it doesnāt sound creepy though, even by his standards, so he just acknowledges that with aĀ hum and a thank you. Arguing is pointless. Youāll do whatever you want anyway. Heās not even here to make sure you take care of yourself while on duty.
What he does, however, is wait till theĀ evening and inspect what that low-Ā budget detergent is made of.Ā Heās quick to spot theĀ culprits. Itās aĀ nasty fragrant and theĀ artificial dye. No wonder your skin is irritated. That thing would be harmless if, instead of using your hands, you scrubbed theĀ plates with aĀ metal rod as aĀ part of your morning routine.
Egon buys aĀ new liquidā top shelf this timeā and adds some stuff of his own. Some softeners. AĀ nice scent. He pours it into theĀ old bottle so that you donāt think twice. Just aĀ precaution. In case you realized it wasnāt your soap and look for that terrible, skin-Ā devouring slime. He places it near the tap. Then waits.
Over theĀ following weeks heāll diligently observe how your skin gets better every time you come down to the lab. Heāll see theĀ rough edges get smooth. Fractured knuckles seal shut. Nails regain their shine.
Heāll notice how gentle your fingers are when you secure hisĀ slides under microscopic lens.
š»
On this particular Thursday everything goes wrong.
Thereās aĀ Class 2 Free-Ā Floating Vapor whoās wildly attracted to funky shapes and vivid hues. Itās theĀ ethereal kind: one whose molecular structure fluctuates. He pries on wallpapers, bedsheet and clothes, tears them up and snugs like anĀ unhinged puppy. Catching him is comparable to squeezing slippery soap. What complicates things even more is that Peter has aĀ clumsy day so even though they manage to trap theĀ ghost, it slips out at the station because somebody forgot to follow aĀ few basic safety tips. Cool. Itās all cool.
Egon knocks at the laundry roomās door. He enters. Youāre inside, hanging freshly washed suits.
āWeāve got aĀ situationā, he informs. āPlease, wait in here for aĀ few minutes.ā
āOh? You guys need help?ā
āWeāll handle this. Venkman let theĀ vapor out. Itās nothing.ā
āOh. Okay.ā You straighten up and smooth your apron (itās theĀ yellow one, embroidered with beesā you wear it when you feel especially joyful and of course itās got to be today). āI can help, ifāā
āNo. Itās all under relative control. Donāt worry about it.ā
He waits for you to nod, then steps out and closes theĀ door. Relative. Great phrasing, Doctor Spengler.
He powers up theĀ proton pack. TheĀ faster they get rid of the ghost, theĀ better. You wonāt have time to get creative.
Peterās pressing aĀ gauze to his nose. Itās bleeding. Not from within though, looks like aĀ cut and thatās relevant: if theĀ vapor is capable of transferring molecules and strengthen bonds within different body parts at will, it could thicken its limbs enough to cause physical harm to humans. Class 2 are rarely aggressiveā annoying, yes, destructive as wellā but they arenāt interested in manhunt. Maybe this oneās been triggered enough to choose attack for defense.
āWhoās got theĀ trap?ā
āI do!ā Winston kicks theĀ pedal. āThe stream wonāt hold long enough though!ā
Rayās standing at theĀ other side of theĀ room, protecting their dear vehicle.
āWe should stream it together from different angles! It wonāt be able to wiggle out! Letās try that and move him towards the trap in sync!ā
āBaby, youāre lucky Iām a terrific dancerā, says Peter and aims at theĀ ghost.
Egon assesses the situation. TheĀ vapor stays too close to theĀ reception for their benefitā theĀ massive wooden desk is going to be aĀ great shield for theĀ specter if they arenāt precise enough. TheĀ deeper they go within the station, theĀ more damage theyāll cause. Thatās not worth it. Too much precious stuff to risk.
They could try aĀ bait. Theyāll have to find some red herring and place it far away: ideally, further into theĀ garage, near theĀ door. Lots of space, no hiding spots. Relative damage control. Cheap repairs. No casualties, either.
He notices Janineās scarf hanging over her chair: conspicuous, extravagant and frilled, covered in aĀ cheetah pattern. A perfect lure for the ghost. Itās still Janineāsā and sheās upstairs, taking cover in Tullyās officeā and once itās all over sheāll absolutely hate them for destroying her garment. Sheād cut their ears off for it, if she could. Luckily, sheās too small for that. Radical.
āYo! How can I help you, boys?ā
For theĀ Mother ofā
Egon turns his head. Itās youā standing right at theĀ door in that silly, yellow apronā because of course you are. Hell, youāre anĀ embodiment of whatĀ aĀ perfect live bait looks like in this scenario. However, your position (from theĀ strategic point of view) is theĀ absolute worst. You should either take off that apron immediately or move awayā and move fast.
āGear up!ā Winston shouts to you. āHeās actually dangerous! Scratched Peter in theĀ face!ā
āGuess I was just too pretty!ā
TheĀ vapor dashes in your direction. Itās quick. You grunt, try to dodge and fail miserably: its slimy claws reach your neck and graze your shirt in aĀ failed attempt to rip off theĀ perky apron. You growl and crouch before Ray chases theĀ ghost off with aĀ stream.
āAh. Funk. Shite.ā, you grunt. āIāll get theĀ proton pack!ā
Egon canāt fucking believe it.
He eases down theĀ proton rod and appears in front of you in aĀ few long strides. No questions, no warning, he picks you up and throws you over his shoulder like aĀ sackā then proceeds to literally carry you away from theĀ scene.
āWhat the heck?!ā You yelp. āLet me go!ā
āOver my dead body.ā
Ray and Winston struggle to aim, Peter does more talking than shootingā as usualā so the vapor dissipates and theĀ streams slide off of its ethereal body. The moment isnāt ideal for being aĀ knight in theĀ shining armor but itās as good as any. Your safety is more important than aĀ burned wall or Peterās personal opinion (he surely has oneā he saw you twoā he did aĀ double take).
All of that is irrelevant. What matters though, is that Egon is aware.
Youāre close. Locks brush against his ear and your breath is hot on theĀ nape of his neck. TheĀ air tingles his tiny hairs. It tickles, itās distracting and he tenses up, fingers finding their way into your hair. Then, theĀ scent of soap he planted for you reaches his nostrilsā and itās good, it means youāre taken care of. Your hands clutch his jumpsuitā on his shoulder blades, on his chestā and pull at his damp undershirt just because itās there, right underneath, warm and soaked with sweat.
Youāre holding on to him for dear life. Youāre around him, everywhere, all at once and it takes every ounce of his willpower to stay focused.
He lets you go in theĀ far corner of theĀ garage. You slide off. Your numb hands linger on his patch and under his collar. Eyes lock.
For aĀ split second he fights anĀ urge to lean inā to press his forehead to yours, to feel youāre right there, safe, away from danger. He almost does. Then he sees blood on your collarbone and his face turns stark.
āWhatās that?ā
āUmā, you look downwards and tap theĀ stain with your finger. āI donāt know.ā
āHe scratched you.ā
ā I mean, it doesnāt hurt now, soāā
āHe scratched you.ā
Something within him shifts. Heās all fire and smoke, jaw set, breath hot, eyes sharp and unrelenting. His fists clench, knuckles whiten, aĀ wave of heat reaches his earsā and in this moment he barely recognizes himself.
āEgonā¦?ā
āWinston!ā He yells. āSet the trap!ā
Your hands grab his sleeve but theĀ grasp is weak, unsureā as if you wanted to anchor him before he does something stupid. Egon vaguely registers that. TheĀ fabric slips away from your grip and he strides away, gaze fixated onĀ the ghost. HeĀ supports theĀ proton gun on his arm and aims.
Ray picks up on this change of demeanor immediately.
āHo, someoneās pissed!ā He chants. āWeāre shooting on three!ā
Peter seems to come round as well. He tosses theĀ bloody gauze on theĀ floor (theĀ wound he got is aĀ sleek, clean line, it doesnāt seem deep) and clenches his teeth.
āYou envied my pretty face, huh?ā
What happens next is difficult to put in theĀ correct order. Thereās aĀ loud shriek, aĀ flash of streams coming from at least three proton packs, aĀ loud zap and aĀ warm glow. Thereās also aĀ burnt smudge on theĀ ceiling, stretching all the way from garage door to theĀ reception desk, an armchair on theĀ first floor thatās set of fire and ā for some inexplicable reasonā two bulbs have just exploded.
Janine and Louis run out of theĀ office. Everybodyās quiet. Thick smoke comes from theĀ trap and theĀ air is still until theĀ red light on it switches on.
āā¦Itās inside.ā Winston sighs. āAre you guys okay?ā
Ray does aĀ oneĀ over. TheĀ overall damage is considerable but Janineās already prancing around theĀ armchair with an extinguisher and theĀ ceilingā well, itās not like any client ever pays attention to the ceiling, right?ā so everythingās taken care of. Peter extends aĀ thumb in aĀ weak attempt to show it is, in fact, alright.
āYeah. Iāll go get changed. More than enough for today.ā
Egon turns his head towards you. Youāre still standing right where he put you: far away from theĀ scene, unsure and anxious. His head is still burning. How stupid of you, how reckless not to listen to his requestā how much unnecessary stress, how much disasterā what an idiotic move to ignore anĀ explicit warningā
Ray is aĀ perceptive guy.
āIāll handle the trapā, he says and leaves the garage first.
š»
You take off theĀ apron, blood splatter tainting a bee you embroidered yourself.
āā¦Oh. I doubt itāll come off.ā
Egon lets you into his lab and closes theĀ door.
āIt willā, he assures you. āHere, change. I wonāt look.ā
āThank you.ā
He lets you swap your ripped shirt for one of his sweaters while he skims over the first aid kit. There must be some ectoplasmic residue around theĀ gash. If he gets aĀ good quality sample, he could run aĀ few tests and see how theĀ molecular transfer works in reference to changing theĀ ghostās state of matter. Itās aĀ first. If they could figure it out, that would be aĀ real breakthrough.
āIām, uh. Iām decent.ā
Egon picks up aĀ petri dish, aĀ bottle of antiseptic spray and some gauze pads. He sits in aĀ chair right in front of you, rolls up his sleeves and leans over to inspect theĀ wound.
AĀ long red line runs over your collarbone, up to your neck. Itās fresh, red splatters specked across your throat and chest but despite theĀ impact, it doesnāt seem dangerous. Heās relieved to see theĀ other end of theĀ scratchā itās right above your chest. TheĀ hem of his sweater hangs aĀ little loose on you, allowing easy access. Thank God for small mercies.
TheĀ light is dim. Itās theĀ blue glow he uses when he needs to focus. Crisp air wraps around him like aĀ blanket. Drawers and tools are outlined by its faint radiance, particles of dust only fleeting in proximityā the specks move slowly, lazily, as if they had theĀ whole time in theĀ world.
Egon takes his time as well. He disinfects his hands, picks up aĀ cotton stick and leans into your personal space. Ā Your body radiates with heat. He chooses not to think about it: instead, he works around theĀ wound and collect samples. TheĀ tip gathers some of theĀ ectoplasm left by theĀ attack. Heās careful to avoid pressing against theĀ slitā only prods at its edges, makes sure none of theĀ cotton fibers get into your wound. Fingers brush against your neck. Your skin is warm.
You look up.
āAre you mad at me?ā
āI donāt know what I am at youā, he exhales, then puts away theĀ sample. He takes aĀ scrap of gauze and soaks it with spirits. āIt may sting.ā
TheĀ cloth touches your skin. Itās cold and it burns.
āEesh. Oof.ā You nod. āYeah, thatās theĀ feeling.ā
āFamiliar?ā
āAh. Scout camps. Weād get aĀ lot of these. Scraping your way through theĀ woods and all that.ā
Egon frowns, meeting your gaze.
āWerenāt your uniforms designed to protect you from those?ā
āAĀ cotton button-Ā down skirt? Knee-Ā length? Seriously.ā
āā¦Okay, I can see your pointā, he snortsā and you chuckle too, glint in your eyes ā and itās warm in his chest.
He cleans theĀ gash way longer than necessary. Your skin seems so fragile up close. Drops of liquid sanitizer glide against it, guiding him through theĀ task. He runs over them with gentle pads again and again, smearing theĀ antiseptic into an even coat. Delicate swipes leave smudges, whichās irregular lines shapes gleam on your skin. The wound looks aĀ little better. Itās aĀ cue. He doesnāt stop.
āEgon, Iād like to thank you for all of thisā, you almost whisper. āI know I screwed up. Iām terribly sorry. I should have been wiser and stay where I was told.ā
He frowns. He was mad at you before you came down to the lab. He should still be mad at you but hormones are like tidesā they rise and retract, they take over, then dissipateā and heās just not feeling it anymore.
āWeāre goodā, he murmurs. āIāve neglected theĀ issue myself. I should teach you how to use our equipment. Accidents will happen. Itās imperative youāre capable of defending yourself.ā
āYouāre theĀ experts though. I keep forgetting my place.ā
āYouāre not bound to a place. Youāre aĀ person, not aĀ pet.ā
Thereās aĀ slight swift in your expression. He doesnāt lookā doesnāt dare, really, his demeanor is all too botheringā but your whole body relaxes, as if dead weight just fell off your chest.
āItās been aĀ long day but at least you got theĀ sample, right? AĀ silver lining?ā
Egon looks at you. Heās met with aĀ smirk butā heck, it must be theĀ adrenaline residue or some unusual distress (heās gotten considerably better at reading your emotions as of late)ā he canāt interpret whether youāre being honest or sarcastic. Thin ice. Better make sure.
āUm. Was it wrong of me?ā
āSillyā, you let out aĀ laugh. āNot at all. Iām glad, as stupid as it sounds.ā
He shivers but manages aĀ smile. Itās chemistry or biology, one of theĀ two. Ridiculous.
Both of you fall into comfortable silence. He finishes patching you up, while youāre just sitting there, looking over theĀ lab. Your neck is close. Breaths mingle. Itās soft and warm. He could stay like that for theĀ rest of theĀ evening but thereās only so much proximity he can go away with (or handle) at once so he leans back.
āThatās all. Keep it dry. Clean in again before you go to bed.ā
āThanks. Iāll go put your jumpsuits in theĀ laundry.ā
āYes.ā
He raises from theĀ chair but feels aĀ grasp on his hand. He looks at you and freezes. You seem to purposefully avoid his gaze but dare to lift his fingers to your lips in aĀ gentle motion. Heās not prepared for this. His mind is blank. Heā
āNo. I mean itā, you press your cheek into his knuckles, eyes squeezed shut. āThank you for taking care of me, Egon. I owe you again. At this rate, Iād better start paying it off or Iām going to be in debt for a long time, huh?ā
No, he wants to say. You owe me nothing, but he canāt utter aĀ word so he watches you stand up, offer aĀ smile and leave, snugly wrapped in his sweater.
There are some noises upstairs. Theyāre foggy. Later, heāll be pretty sure Ray called his name at some point but theĀ only thing he registers tonight is loud white noise, anĀ ache in his ribs and warmth in his temple. He carries it to theĀ kitchen, where he eats eggs for supperā then bathroom, where he takes aĀ long showerā then his bed when he goes to sleep. He leaves his flip- flops on theĀ floor but theĀ feeling slides with him under theĀ covers.
Itās late. It should go away, dissipate, but it doesnāt. He counts sheep, tries meditating and stretches every breath to ridiculous extends. It doesnāt help though: itās still there, strong, unrelenting, it keeps him awake for at least two more hours.
Heās not stupid. He recognizes theĀ symptoms.
He just doesnāt recall struggling with them so damn much.
_____
For those who have already read it: SORRY for posting it again, I just wanted to make it easier for people who exclusively use Tumblr to get to know this piece of fanfiction ;__; Have a great day, thanks for putting up with my antics, I LOVE YOU ALL
#egon spengler#egon spengler imagines#imagines#writing prompts#one shot#fanfiction#fanfic#ghostbusters#self insert#reader insert#egon spengler x you#egon spengler x reader#harold ramis#imagine#im a simp
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Trigger warning for self harm, eating disorder and suicide references Okay I've seen some serious stuff an uncomfortable amount in the past few weeks so i need to talk about this. A lot of men have been opening up about loneliness and this recent exposure of it has been called the "male loneliness epidemic". and ive seen a concerning amount of people talking about how its just men making themselves victims, or how theyre just incels. And guys. Guys.
Men can be victims of toxic masculinity.
The facts are, men are far more likely to commit suicide than women, as well as develop drug addictions and alcoholism. Men on average also have smaller friend groups than women. And this all stems from toxic masculinity, bottling up emotions, not being able to open yourself up to others, to make those connections and develop healthy coping mechanisms. People end up turning to drugs and self harm as a result, since they think nobody will care. And why wouldnt they think that? Society has drilled it into their heads since birth. Men are always told to tough it out, to suck it up, that tears are weakness, that boys dont cry.
I'm a trans woman, I remember distinctly all of these phrases repeated by adults, teachers, parents, friends. It's especially worse in western society like the UK and US where physical affection like hugs are far more uncommon, especially for men. I first experienced depression when i was in middle school. And despite trying to talk to parents and counselors, my condition wasn't taken seriously until I eventually had a full breakdown and passed out from not eating in highschool. Personally, I am very lucky. Two friends were able to saved me from a suicide attempt by calling me and talking me down in time. And I only reconnected with that friend due to my transition. We were able to reconcile about arguments in the past and moved forward becoming good friends. The other friend I only met because of my transition. My friend group grew when I was a girl, it was easier to be open and honest. If I was in the same spot only a few years prior, I would have been dead.
And people are making fun of these guys for opening up like this now, saying everyone is lonely, that its not a uniquely male experience. Like you do realize you are QUITE LITERALLY proving to them what they've feared, that nobody cares. And people are always saying "oh this is a trend why is this the first time people are talking about this". Maybe its because we just went through a period of isolation and that time locked in their rooms caused a spiral of depression that made them reflect on their lives? Maybe because as a whole we are experiencing a mental health crisis worldwide? Maybe because through the modern internet we've never been more connected than now?
Yes men have privileges, that doesnt mean that they dont struggle and have issues too. Their opportunities and privileges do not negate their struggles. Toxic systems hurt everyone.
Personally, I'm now doing better, although sometimes I do slip into that deep depression, but I have better ways of fighting it now. And I'm lucky to have some friends who I know truly do care, as well as a loving partner. And while they dont follow me on tumblr, I just wanted to say, Thank You to Evan and Shi.
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