#and if you looked to closely at any crowd you'd see a couple who were really low poly or just reused assets

[project-catgirlpillar]

I was actually raised in a hyperrealistic VR world where every Person around me was actually Just an npc and every one of my moves got Broadcast to the entire world a Bit Like the Truman Show. Used to be everyone got These incredibly detailed bespoke Models so i never noticed but recently the bigwigs have been experimenting with ai to Cut costs so i've been Meeting more people with fucked Up Fingers or No clear line where their Body ends and their clothes begin.

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 18: First Impressions Are Often Correct

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter eighteen of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 11.6K

Warnings: I'm going to rate this one 18+ just to be on the safe side. :) References to sex, Cursing, Angst, Mentions of Death, Blood, Gore, Possessive Soldier Boy, Protective Soldier Boy, Soft Soldier Boy, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: I'm so sorry, I know this has been a long time coming. I work hard, but writer's block works harder tbh.

It had to be herogasm. You think to yourself with an audible groan looking up at the mid-century house from your position in the tree-line while watching the couples on the back porch writhe against one another.

The three hour drive from your apartment to Vermont had been uneventful and quiet. Every once in a while Ben would whisper something to you and you would half answer, but only because your mind was somewhere else or rather on someone else.

It was on Rosemary. She had stopped trying to text you or call you, and the silence was worse. You had no idea what she was going to do or what she was thinking. It was a miracle that she hadn’t shown up to your apartment and kicked down the front door before you left. You knew she was angry about the whole situation. And the sooner you dealt with the twins the sooner you could go see her.

Of course you still had no idea how you were going to bring up the conversation with Ben and you knew that there was no way he would let you just leave with no explanation to go talk to her.

This is why I hate texting. I should have just gone to see her, I shouldn’t have told her that Ben was back in a text, if anything that's a three drink minimum. Hell, she's probably half way through a second bottle of wine by now. Something that you also had considered several times today. Guess sobriety is going out the window. Shocker.

Ben kept asking you what was wrong, sensing your discomfort on the drive and held your hand tightly between the two of you, but you only shook your head whenever he asked. He thought that you were having second thoughts of going after the twins, but that was the one thing you were sure of. They deserved to pay for what they did, all of your team did. Anger rises beneath your skin like a roaring crowd when you think of all the years Ben spent alone in Russia being tortured and experimented on. Years that you could have stopped if only you'd known, years that he could never get back, memories that wouldn't fade in the next decade or two, and memories that you hoped you could replace by making him feel loved, by holding him close, and allowing yourself to forget the memories that still plagued you when you thought about the past.

But you still didn't know how the hell you were going to tell him about Rosemary. Every moment it felt like the words were going to vomit out of your mouth, but you clamped your jaw shut. You didn’t want to talk about Rosemary in front of Butcher and Hughie, didn’t want to tell Ben like that. What you needed to say about Rosemary and Lou didn’t deserve to be shouted at him or said in haste, you wanted to sit Ben down and tell him, give him time to adjust to the idea. Because you had no idea how he was going to react to the news that he was a dad and a grandfather.

Would he pull away again? Would he run? Would he leave me? Those thoughts kept swirling around your mind like a mixtape. You were scared that by telling him about her would make him go cold like he did the moment you told him you loved him. You remembered the distant look that replaced his smile as soon as you had uttered those three little words.

Little but not simple. Three little words that launched ships and started a hundred wars. Three little words with the power to create and the power to destroy. Three words that Ben had said to you more times than you could count since he came back to you, and three words you wished you never stopped hearing him say, the three words you always wanted him to say to you.

If Ben pushed you away now, you knew that you wouldn't survive it this time, knew that there was no going back. Which made you more fearful about Rosemary's reaction to Ben coming back into your life.

You were afraid that Rosemary would give you an ultimatum and make you choose between her and Lou or Ben. You really hoped that it didn’t come to that. You had just gotten Ben back and you didn’t want to have to pick between him and your family.

Because Ben is family too. You knew that deep down in your bones, even after everything that happened, Ben was your family. He was the only person who knew you inside and out, the only man you’d ever loved and the only person who understood you. You couldn’t turn your back on him and you didn’t want to shut him out. Not when you loved him more than life itself.

Your frown deepens as you continue to watch the people on the back porch while your supe hearing picks up the moans and sounds of the couples inside and the subtle thump of music, new pop songs that you didn't understand and didn't try. You were up with the times, but it didn't mean you had to like what was happening or the new music being produced no matter how hard Rosemary tried to get you to listen to it.

You sigh again, trying to drown out the sounds by focusing on the wind moving through the trees and the birds flitting through the branches overhead, but it wasn’t working. The beautiful day was already ruined by the loud and messy sounds from the inside of the house. 

“Always wanted to bring you to one of these Sweetheart.” Ben glances over at you with a cheeky grin, lowering the binoculars from his eyes, but then he notes your frown. “Then again-“ His hand comes around your waist to pull you into him. “That means I would have had to share you with someone else, and I’d much rather have you all to myself.”

 You can feel his smirk against your ear, but it does little ease your anxiety about Rosemary and the looming conversation you were going to have with Ben when this was over.

Hughie had disappeared a few moments ago to scout out the inside and to find the twins, while Butcher was doing a walk of the perimeter, leaving you and Ben to wait for the all clear. A welcome break, because every few minutes Hughie would play with a Geiger counter and the high pitched creak-like squeak was giving you a headache. Not to mention annoying you. You'd only been able to have a few sips of your coffee this morning after Butcher and Hughie burst into you apartment, but at least your anxiety was picking up the slack.

Because of course it was.

The house in front of you looked innocent enough on the outside, big windows light wood,  but now that you were here, you really didn’t want to go inside. Despite wanting to face the twins, you didn’t want to go inside and be reminded of the one reason why you stayed away from Herogasm.

At least today we aren’t attending it as much as crashing it.

“Why do you think I hated going to Herogasm?” You murmur, frown deepening at you continue to stare at the house.  The memories of the past had an ugly way of crashing down on you and despite not wanting to make Ben feel guilty, keeping them to yourself made you feel worse. Plus you figured he knew when you were lying, because Ben was basically a human lie detector when it came to you.

Ben sighs, his warm breath washing over the side of your face as his arm tightens around your waist to secure you to him. “Sweetheart please look at me.” His voice is comforting, filled with emotion, but you still don't look at him.

“What?” You whisper, mind still a million miles away.

His fingertips come under your chin to turn your face to his. Ben’s green eyes lock with yours, soft and apologetic, familiar in the best way and weird given the fact that he was wearing his uniform. You’d never seen him look so sorry when he was dressed up as Soldier Boy.

“I would have killed any man who tried to touch you, especially after the night we shared together. When Vogelbaum danced with you I wanted to rip his arms off.”  His eyes darken.

You remembered the way he watched Vogelbaum and you dance together at the premiere with the cameras flashing in your eyes, but then the image of Countess plastered to his hip arises. The way she ran her hands up his chest, the way he turned his gaze away from you to stare at her.

“Yes, but see I never killed any woman that touched you-“

Double standard much?

“Well-“

“Countess doesn’t count.” You snap.

Ben’s thumb strokes along your jaw, before his expression softens again. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve apologized-“ You sigh, suddenly guilty. You hadn't meant to snap at him like that, you were on edge because of Rosemary, not because of what Ben did in the past. You were already starting to forgive him for what he did.

“Not for this.” He takes in a deep breath before he pulls you closer to him. “I’m sorry that I made you think I didn’t want you. Because I do. I don't want anyone else, haven't ever wanted anyone else like I want you. I was so stupid. I fucked those other women because I couldn’t handle how I felt about you and I didn’t think that you would ever want me even a fraction of how much I want you-“

“More.” You whisper before you can stop yourself, laying your hand against the front of his suit.

“That is impossible.” Ben smiles faintly.

You toy with the material, plucking it between your fingers. “It’s okay. I understand why you did it. But it was hard to watch you with them.” You try to fight the image of him and Countess again, that is quickly followed by the memories of the many women over the years you’d see Ben with in public and of course the memory of the first and only Herogasm you ever went to, the one you left early because you couldn’t bear to see Ben with anyone else. The same one that you swore you saw Ben watching you just as closely when Noir tried to reach out for you and you walked away.

It’s different now. You think to yourself. Ben said that he’s wanted me this whole time and I believe him. I don’t think he would lie about something like that, not to mention he’s been more open about what he’s feeling.

“I know.” Ben continues to stroke along your jaw. “But I promise it won’t happen ever again.”

“I believe you.” You lock your arms around the back of his neck to hold him closer to you, loving the way his body felt wrapped around you, like he was molded just for you.

“Good.” He leans his forehead against yours for a moment. "Can I kiss you yet?" Ben's words are quiet, barely above a whisper, so low that you know if you didn't have super hearing you'd have missed them.

"You've never been a patient man. In all the years I've known you." You breathe with a smile.

"Maybe I've just never met someone worth waiting for." Ben's nose nudges into the space between you faces, waiting for you to tell him it's okay and you want to. "But you are Sweetheart."

"You've waited forty years."

"You waited longer."

His words make a ball of emotion lodge in the back of your throat, because it meant Ben listened. He heard everything you said to him and he wasn't going to forget, he was going to make this up to you.

It was hard to say no to him, not when he was smiling at you and gazing at you the way you'd always wished him to.

"We both know I'm a bit more patient than you."

"Maybe."

"You know, maybe we should be focusing on something else right now." You smirk, still keeping your lips just as hairsbreadth away from his.

“It's hard to focus on anything else, not when you’re wearing something like that.” Ben purrs, thumbs brushing against you hips in a way that makes your chest tight.

Your smirk deepens “Oh this old thing?”

At the last minute you had chosen to wear the outfit you had picked when you thought you were going to be going to Russia to get Ben, rather than your old supe suit. You didn’t want to be connected with the person you were then, and despite Ben’s want to hold on to Soldier Boy, you were more than happy to let Indigo go.

The outfit was working better than you thought. The tight black tactical pants, combat boots, black leather jacket, and long sleeved leather corseted blouse that was sinched at your waist all perfectly accentuated the curves that your mother tried to hide. When you had walked out of your closet wearing it, Ben’s entire body had gone rigid.

“What?” You’d asked him with an innocent smile standing just a few steps outside your closet, while watching the tension in his shoulders.

“Damn it sweetheart you’re making this hard.” He had responded, clenching his hands into fists at his sides to hold himself back from crossing your bedroom to touch you. It made you smile wider to understand that he was trying to respect the boundaries you made between the two of you.

“What is it that I’m making hard Benjamin?”

“Fuck. Don’t tease me. Nobody likes a tease.”

You’d smirked at him. “Sorry babe you walked right into that one.”

“It’s not fair-“ Ben had growled.

“What’s not fair?”

“You wearing that, biting your fucking lip like that-“

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He’d stalked towards you, eyes dark, causing you to back up until your back hit your pale bedroom wall. His hand had landed next to your head, the other wound around your hip so you could feel the heat of his skin through your clothes.

“You know, two can play at that game Sweetheart.” Ben had murmured, easing his face so close to yours that you could feel his breath against your lips.

“And what game is that?” You’d said it trying to keep your composure, but the dark look in his eyes and the smell of his shampoo was everywhere. Your heart beat had given you away, thudding violently in your chest as if it wanted to break free. It was hard to ignore how much you still wanted him after all these years.

"You know exactly what game." Ben had held your gaze, raising an eyebrow as a confident smirk pulled at his lips. He could hear your heartbeat too, probably could smell how much you wanted him. “But you’re so fucking beautiful I'll let it slide.”

“Huh?” It had been the last thing you thought he was going to say. If anything you’d thought he was going to tease you.

The hand that had been previously on the wall near your head dropped onto your face to gently trace the arch of your brow and the dip of your bottom lip.

“You always have been. I thought I remembered wrong but-" His expression shifted from the seductive smirk into something softer. "Fuck I missed you." Ben had leaned his forehead against yours. "So tease me all you want. I'll wait, because you're worth every second."

Remembering what he said earlier still filled you with an incredible amount of love and made you want to kiss him all the more now. Knowing that he was willing to wait for you to be okay with whatever came next made you fall harder for him. But now you knew that you needed to focus on what you were about to do. And standing here in front of the house, listening to what was going on inside made you sober up, just a little bit…. But not completely.

"Then again I thought those overalls were pretty sexy too." Ben states, staring down at you with a wide smile as the mid-afternoon sun turned his hair into a light brown and found the flecks of gold in his eyes. He looked every bit as handsome as you were accustomed to, so much in fact that it made your heart ache.

"Sure." You roll your eyes. "I think you're the first person in history to say that." Your fingers lightly curl into the strands at the back of his head.

"Maybe. Or maybe you're just the sexiest woman in history."

"Shut up."

Ben's gaze darkens. "Make me, Sweetheart."

Every viable thought except the thought of crashing your lips to his vanishes.

I wonder if they're as soft as I remember. If he still makes that sound when I-

"You two ready?" Butcher interrupts appearing just over Ben's shoulder, but smirking when he sees how close the two of you are. "Or do you love birds need a little alone  time?"

You roll your eyes and let go of Ben's hair, as he loosens his grip on your hips. Stepping back away from him was like having a bucket of cold water drop over you, you missed him and yet he was standing a full sixteen inches away from you.

This is really not good.

"You have the worst fucking timing." Ben moves to pick up his shield, but the playful smirk he'd had a few seconds ago has been replaced with a frown.

You wondered if he was as disappointed as you were.

The wind shifts and you can smell the Temp V in Butcher's veins, hear the steady beat of his heart as it pumps blood through his body, strengthening him, making him feel indestructible. When Butcher and Hughie had injected it at the back of Butcher's car, you couldn't help but be reminded of the day you took V. You had been afraid and when they injected it, you remember the pain, the unspeakable pain that made you scream so loud that Ben heard you from the room he was being kept in, and he broke through the wall to get to you. It was how the scientists learned that Ben had super strength, because he had smashed through solid rock to make sure you were okay.

Butcher shrugs and begins to walk through the trees towards the side door of the house, leaving you and Ben alone.

"You didn't answer my question." He hefts his shield up with a smirk.

He didn't have to explain, you knew he was asking about the kiss. "I'll take a raincheck."

"Hmm." Ben takes a few steps towards the house, before he stops to look back at you. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Huh?"

"In the car, even now. You're kinda quiet." He shrugs.

"I-" You were going to say that you were fine, but you knew that he would clock the lie. "We need to talk about something, but it can wait. This is important too."

Ben's frown deepens, but then he finally sighs. "Alright. Come on you’re lagging behind doll."

"Guess you changed your mind about wanting me here." You snort as you catch up to him.

Ben puts his hand on your wrist, turning you to look at him. "I always want you with me." His hand trails up your arm to finally rest under your chin. Ben smiles, leaning down towards you, but before you can arch up into him, he presses a kiss to your forehead. "I love you." He murmurs into the top of your head.

"I love you too."

And with that, you both follow Butcher into the house hosting the worst event in all of history.

I should have brought ear plugs. You cringe as you follow behind Ben and Butcher, weaving through the lower levels of the house. Maybe someone will let me borrow their blindfold. Hopefully there are nose plugs somewhere… well there have been other kinds of plugs but those are a bit big for my nose.

You walk down the staircase after Ben and Butcher who pulled ahead a few moments ago and as you do the sharp sour smell of a chemical wafts in your face, different than the other odors in the house.

What is that?

You round the corner and see Ben up ahead, shrouded in smoke, staring down an attractive muscular black man who for some reason has decided to raise his fists to challenge Ben. Your eyes trace the man's face, recognition pulling at your heart. You knew who he was. The first time you'd seen him he'd only been a boy, made eye contact with you at a funeral you couldn't help but go to, after Ben made a mistake. You'd offered the boy an encouraging smile and left the boy's family an envelope of cash in their mailbox because you couldn't think of anything else to do for them. You knew it couldn't replace who they lost, but you didn't know what else to do. Ben had been upset with himself after, he always was when he lost control. He showed up on your doorstep like he always did, drunk, high, smelling like stale perfume, and fell asleep in your bed after you reassured him the same way you always did.

Now that little boy was grown up and standing in front of you. You see recognition flash in his eyes as he sees you. Of course it does. You didn't look any different and you hadn't worn your supe suit when you went to the funeral.

"Not him." Butcher says to Ben, but Ben doesn't look away from the man.

"Ben." You whisper, reaching out to touch his arm gently.

Ben's eyes flick to yours. The look in Ben's eyes is familiar, predatory, unwilling to back down from a fight. Soldier Boy. You'd seen it countless times before, talked him out of killing people in the past. You hated how quickly you had to slip into your old job, the one that made you feel like a babysitter, but you shake it off.

"He doesn't know what he's doing. Come on. The Twins are upstairs, I can hear them arguing." It was true, you could, but you didn't want this to turn ugly so quickly. Not when the real reason why you were here were currently arguing about toilet cameras. 

His jaw tightens, eyes sliding to the man standing at the other end of the room, before he nods once and motions for you to go ahead of him.

As you continue to move through the house, you fight the shudder that threatens to travel down your spine when you think of how Ben looked moments ago. It was the first time you had seen Soldier Boy since Ben showed up again, and it was the same way you remembered it. You just hoped deep down that Ben really did want to change and that he was adopting the façade of Soldier Boy to get through what came next. You knew that you were going to have to adopt one as well.

"Here." You stop just before the two of you round the corner where the Twins were in the other room. "Let me go first. They might not try to run if I go in before you."

Ben frowns. "I don't want you to-"

"I know, but it'll be better this way."

"Fine."

You walk around the wall and towards the circular room where the Twins are fighting, ignoring the couples on the outskirts that are grinding against one another.

Like Countess, the Twins didn't look good, both were considerably older, rounder, grayer, and more wrinkly than the last time you'd seen them, but they were still the same. Still arguing and still just as annoying as they had been forty years ago.

"I never want to see you again!" Tommy spits at his sister, adjusting the golden robe slung over his shoulders that flaps around him like a cape.

"Oh sure!" Tessa sniffs while puffing on a joint. "Our Westfield mall appearance is next week and nobody is going to come see you without me!"

That must suck to have your powers depend on someone else.

"Wow, mall appearances? Aren't we all getting a bit old for that?" You flash a winning smile as you step down into the room, locking eyes with Tessa.

Both of the twins visibly pale, their hearts speeding up to work overtime, as the stench of adrenaline begins to waft through the air between you. It's almost comical how identical their reactions are to Countess' at seeing you for the first time in forty years. Then again you hoped that you looked better than they did.

Why didn't I try to find out more after Ben "died?" If our entire team had this reaction to seeing me then I would have known the truth and Ben wouldn't have been in a fucking Russian Lab all these years!

Their plan to ensure you not being in Nicaragua had paid off, because not only were you not there, you didn't want anything to do with any of them. And you wished that you had confronted them all those years ago. You knew that you'd live with that guilt for a long time, but now you allowed your anger at what they all did to Ben, overpower it.

"Y/n-" Tessa stutters.

It was weird to see her at a loss for words. You and all of Payback had listened to her nag Tommy since the moment they joined the team. Judging by what you had walked into, you figured that she hadn't changed at all.

"Hey long time no see!" Tommy fakes enthusiasm while licking his lips nervously, eyes darting to the open doors behind you. You could practically see the escape plan forming in his mind.

"You know, when I found out you guys were living in Vermont I was surprised. I would have thought that you moved down South. They’re probably more accepting of your relationship.” You make air quotes around the word relationship, before shifting your smile into an worried frown. “Oh sorry, are the two of you still pretending that you’re not fucking?”

Tessa’s gaze turns stone cold. “What the fuck do you want?”

“I was in the neighborhood, thought I’d check in.” You look around the room. “You guys have a nice house. Must have budgeted better than Countess did. Her tailer, now that was a shit hole. Must not have done as many mall appearances.”

Tommy’s heart skips a beat at the mention of Countess’s name. “Look y/n-“

“Please. We didn’t have anything against you. We didn’t come after you. Even after all these years we left you alone.” Fear seeps into Tessa’s voice with her plea, eyes wide with worry.

They had reason to be worried, you’d all but admitted to killing Countess.

“Oh sweetie.” You with false sweetness in your tone. “It’s cute that you think you can beg for mercy. That you're deserving of it.” The room begins to shake with the force of your anger as your eyes shift to bright purple. Cracks like thin spiderwebs stretch through the wide windows behind them and through the thick drywall as you lose control, the composure you always held on to drowning in the flood of emotion you feel when you look at the two of them. “Ben told me exactly what happened that day-“

“He lied to you!” Tommy exclaims. “He went crazy! You know how he gets, how he loses control!”

“He lost control and we had to protect ourselves y/n-“ Tessa adds, another lie.

Ben steps into the room beside you, his eyes are focused on the Twins, and if you thought they looked afraid when you showed up, they look near dead when Ben appears.

"You were saying?" You raise an eyebrow.

"Ben! Hey Buddy!." Tommy forces another smile but pales when he realizes Ben just heard him and Tessa try to lie to you. "How are you? Long time. We were just talking to y/n about-“

Ben's eyes narrow, stopping whatever Tommy was going to say about you.

"Nicaragua wasn't our fault!" Tommy says to recover. "Neither was the premiere." His eyes dart to yours, cowering under the purple light that pulses from your irises.

Wow. Just. Wow.

"We swear." Tessa adds.

"Why should we believe you?" You spit.

"Please-"

"Then whose fault was it?" Ben's frown deepens, hand tightening on the shield.

None of the other couples have stopped what they are doing, too enthralled in one another to notice what was going to unfold between the four of you.

"It was Noir!" Tommy shouts desperately, his eyes flitting from Ben to you as if trying to see which one of you will believe him. "He gave Ben to the Russians."

It's almost pathetic watching his mad scramble to protect himself. Apart of you hates that you don't feel guilty for any of this, at least with Countess at the beginning you felt some guilt for hurting her, but with them there was nothing. Not even the prick of remorse, there was only anger.

Ben chuckles under his breath. "We all know that Noir didn't even take a shit without Vought's say so."

"Not to mention his head was so far up Stan's ass it's a wonder that he could breathe." You narrow your eyes at the two of them waiting for them to make a move. They might be cowards, but if you knew the Twins well enough, you knew that they weren't above throwing a bolt of lighting in your direction. And you knew for a fact that electrocution wasn't fun.

"It's the truth!" Tessa shouts above the moans and wet squelch of the people around you. “Please y/n we have children.”

“You're really the worst liar hon. Always have been." You snap, listening to her heartbeat jolt in her chest as she attempts to save herself.

"Please talk Ben out of this, just like you did for Noir-“ Tommy's plea falls on deaf ears, but you knew what he was talking about. The day that you saved Noir's life because he started a fight with Ben over a stupid role in a movie. But this was different, no part of you wanted to save them from this, to save them from what they deserved.

“Noir will get what’s coming to him.” You don't recognize your own voice. "You brought this on yourselves."

But then something shifts in the air, call it a feeling, or an energy current, but something feels wrong.

The music coming from the radio has changed to a Russian pop song, why it's playing you have no idea, all you know is that it does something to Ben.

The sound of his shield hitting the ground rings in your ears and you turn to look at him. His entire body is tensed beneath his suit, sweat dotting along his hairline, red beginning to creep into his cheeks. His eyes are squeezed shut and he shakes his head as if he's trying to clear it.

"Ben? Are you okay?" Your hold on the room vanishes, eyes fading back to their normal color as your worry turns to Ben.

His fists are clenched tightly together as he brings them up to the sides of his head, chest beginning to glow with his new power, the one you'd never seen before, the one that Ben said practically vaporized whatever was in it's path.

Shit.

"Ben. Stay with me, listen to my voice." You touch the sides of his face, begging him to listen to your plea. As much as you wanted the Twins to pay, Ben wasn't just losing control of his powers, this was different. It was almost like he was being dragged somewhere else, somewhere you couldn't follow.

"Everything's okay. I'm here, I'm right here." You soothe, but he continues to glow brighter and brighter and you're directly in the line of fire.

Shit.

Ben's eyes flash open, no longer bright green but an orange-gold that makes fear snag in your ribs like a fishing hook. His hand makes contact with your chest shoving you to the side, out of the way of the beam, but unfortunately through the solid rock wall.

You don't really know what happens next. The world goes black for a few minutes, not like when you die, but just black as everything burns around you when Ben explodes. You're not sure how long you're under, could be minutes, could be hours, all you know is that when you wake up everything hurts.

It's how you know that you didn't officially die. Whenever you woke up after death, it was different, you felt powerful, reborn, but right now you felt like a train ran over you. A headache throbs at your temples as you begin to come to, blinking your eyes against the darkness that doesn't go away. Your ears are ringing, filled with the screams of those who survived and the smell of burned flesh and blood surrounds you like a cloud.

A mountain of rubble and roofing covers you, leaving you in the darkness to get your bearings, but nothing feels broken.

At least the brick fireplace broke my fall. You think to yourself with a groan as you begin to push off the planks of wood and pieces of the roof that cover your body, so you can sit up. As soon as you do, your head spins and you fight the unpleasant urge to throw up.

Great. Might have a concussion.

You might be as strong as Ben, but your ability to die meant that you were just a little bit less equipped to handle a hit like that.

Ben. Worry and fear war in your heart as you look around the broken room that lays in tatters around you.

The house isn’t recognizable anymore. Singed carpet floats in tufts with ash around your face like a swarm of flies while fires burn in clumps all over the ruined room. Chunks of drywall and planks of blackened wood litter the floor and the back half of the house is gone, burned to a crisp in the blast from Ben.

What the fuck did they put in his chest? Ben had tried to describe it to you, tried to explain it, but standing here in the rubble you understood just how bad it was. The ruins in Mid-town you had seen the coverage of on the news, but it was a completely different thing to experience it in person.

People are going to think that he did this on purpose. That he's a bad person, that he's some kind of terrorist. The thought is immediately followed by the fear that Vought and the government would come to take him away. Your jaw tightens. I'd like to see them try.

The bodies of Tommy and Tessa are burned beyond recognition, still holding hands, but now are just blacked lumps of flesh and bone that lay where they tried to make their final stand. But you feel no remorse.

It’s what we came here to do, to make them pay. You bite the inside of your cheek listening to the screams of those who survived. I just didn't think that so many others would get hurt.

You continue to look around the room, worry rising in your chest as you think of Ben and remember the look on his face. He had been scared of what was about to happen even if he didn’t want to admit it. He lost control. In the past when he lost control the worst thing he could do was rip someone in half or smash their face into a pulp, but now if Ben ever lost control he'd level a building.

I see a lot of yoga in his future. Or maybe anger management classes.

Although the thought makes you smile, as soon as you see Ben everything else fades from your mind. Ben is on his knees in the center of the room, head slumped forward on his chest, hands laying limply by his sides, as he takes in shaky breaths. You could hear the frantic pound of his heart, beating hard against his rib cage as if begging to be released. Seeing him like that almost sends you into overdrive. You’d never seen him look so defeated, so small, so tired, so… lost.

“Ben?” You fall to your knees next to him, reaching out to touch his face, to bring his attention to you.

His body tenses as you do so, eyes narrowing when he meets yours like he doesn’t know you. His eyes miles away.

But where?

“Hey, it’s me.” You say gently, cupping his face with your hands to rub your thumbs across his cheeks while fear grips your heart as you try to bring him back to you. “It’s me, I’m here. It’s okay.”

Ben inhales sharply as if suddenly remembering, the look in his eyes clearing for a moment, rising through the fog. "Y/n?" He whispers.

"Yeah. I'm here." You repeat, smiling at him even though the urge to cry builds in the back of your throat. It broke your heart to see him like this. You push his hair back from his face, brushing the ash from the mahogany strands.

 “Are you okay? Did I-“ Worry etches itself across his handsome face.

“I’m fine. Shhh.” You soothe, pulling him against you so your can rub his back softly and lock him in your embrace. But the truth was you were afraid. You didn’t understand what happened and couldn’t explain the look in his eyes when he went under, when he started to lose himself in his newfound powers. Ben crumbles into you, leaning his head against your shoulder as if needing it to strengthen him.

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay.” You weren’t sure the effects the blast had on him, just that he seemed unsure as to how the hell he did it.

 Where did he go in those moments?

“The twins?” Ben mumbles.

“They’re dead.” You could hear the approaching ambulances and police cars, hear the anxious chatter of the survivors outside.

We’ve got to get out of here.

“Come on. Let’s go.” You say softly rising to your feet and helping him up. Ben stumbles a step, shaking his head like he can’t catch his bearings and the worry comes roaring back. You catch him and tilt his body so he can lean on you. “Ben are you okay?” Your fingers dance against the sides of his face trying to bring his focus back to you, because you were afraid he might lose himself to whatever the hell happened before.

“I will be in a minute.” Ben takes in a shaky breath, leaning on your shoulder. "I don't know what happened."

"It's okay." His shield rises telekinetically from the rubble and into your outstretched hand that glows a brilliant purple in the dusty light. Smoke billows up from the room around you obscuring the sunlight that filters through the ruined front of the house, but you can still see the front drive already becoming swarmed with people and news crews.

Because that's exactly what Rosemary needs to see, me and Ben on the 5'oclock news. Fuck.

"Come on." You lead him back the way you can, toting his shield in your free hand, down the stairs.

When you spot Butcher, Ben straightens finally catching his bearings and takes the shield from you. Butcher looks from Ben to you, eyebrows raised.

"Sorted?"

"Yeah." Ben frowns.

You could tell that he was still a little shaky, but you knew he wasn't going to admit that to anyone, especially not to Butcher. Your gaze falls on the man from before laying on the ground, the man that Butcher had told Ben to leave.

Why did he want Ben to spare his life if Butcher was only going to beat him down?

But just as you take a step towards the man to check him for injuries, a long shadow falls on the floor at your feet.

Your eyes jolt upwards and focus on Homelander. The smell of hairspray, hair dye, and cheap cologne waft through the air at Homelander's appearance.  He's shorter than you expected him to be, not overtly muscular, but he didn't need to be. Supes with superstrength didn't need to look like body builders, and you suspected that the only reason why Homelander even had any kind of muscle was for his image as America's Hero. Then again, you never complained about Ben's muscular physique.

I don’t think anybody should complain about that and- Nope. Nope. Not thinking about that right now.

But as you stare at him there's something wrong, something that you can't place, something that tugs at the back of your mind when you look at him, almost as if you've forgotten something important.

Seeing him in person is surreal. You'd only ever seen him on the news or on billboards or on those stupid energy drinks that were sold at the bodega on the corner where you get coffee filters sometimes, but the look in his eyes is the same. It's cold, unfeeling, and reminds you of those ridiculous shark documentaries that Rosemary is obsessed with. The only time she could watch shark week was after Lou went to bed. She said that watching it made her feel better about her job and you didn't complain.

Homelander looks around the room forcing a smile, a predatory glare in his eyes.

"William Butcher and Soldier Boy. Of course you are behind this. It really is all about me." Homelander's smile widens.

Narcissistic much? This guy's like a walking red flag.

He takes a step closer to the three of you, and Ben steps in front of you to shield you from Homelander's view. Homelander clocks the movement, but then tsks his finger at Butcher.

"William we made a deal to fight to the death, you and me." Homelander's eyes begin to glow. "You cheated, deals off."

The red flash of the laser-vision illuminates Ben's face in sharp contrast as the beam hits Butcher full in the chest propelling him back into the wall. His body falls to the ground and lies still.

Well. That's not good.

Honestly you didn't like Butcher all that much, but you couldn't help but feel a little bit bad.

You glance up from Butcher's body to gaze at Homelander again. Fighting him hadn't been on the agenda today, but it was starting to look that way. You knew what his powers were, knew that Vought probably told him his entire life that he was a god and that no one could compare to him. And you knew that the man standing next to you hadn't changed enough to walk away from the fight, no matter how bad his odds were.

And deep down you knew that you weren't going to let Ben take that beating, which of course meant that you were going to fight Homelander. Not that you were afraid of him. One look at him might have sent everyone else heading for the hills, but he didn't intimidate you.

"I watched all your movies, hundreds of times. You were the only one that was nearly as strong as me." The look on Homelander's face is one of respect almost wonder.

And you can imagine a smaller version of Homelander being fed all the same propaganda that Ben and you were fed all those years ago, imagine Homelander growing up hearing that he was stronger, greater, faster than Soldier Boy, and imagine Vogelbaum working hard to make sure to mold Homelander into the hero that America wanted. Not to mention all the shit he probably heard when he was with Stormfront. You were very happy that you didn't have to see her again, though now you had a fun story to tell Ben about one of his exes.

“Buddy you’re wearing a cape, do you think you look strong?” Ben frowns at Homelander.

“It is pretty stupid.” You agree examining Homelander’s supe suit. “Honestly I thought you had it bad with that dorky looking helmet-“ You glance at Ben out of the corner of your eye.

“Really? You’re gonna do this now?” Ben glowers turning his attention to you.

“I’m just being honest it was pretty bad and I’m glad you decided not to wear it today. But his cape is definitely worse.”

“Do you want me to bring up that ridiculous hood you had?”

“You can, but I won’t believe you, because that hood was fabulous and I looked fantastic in it.”

Homelander clears his throat to catch your attention. “Um hello?”

“Hi.” You force a smile. “Oh sorry did we interrupt your little monologue?”

Homelander's gaze turns icy as you continue. “Because we can take this from the top. What was the line again? Something about power or watching his films? I was only half listening. Did you want me to record it for you so you can post it on your socials?”

“What the f-“ Homelander begins to say, but you interrupt him.

“I mean. That is why you practiced it in the mirror for so long right? And why you did your hair and makeup?" You scrunch up your nose. "I'd skip that last mist of hairspray if I were you. You want it to look smooth, not look like you stuck your finger in an electrical socket.”

You could tell that Ben was trying to maintain his composure, but his mouth was twitching in a smile. “Oh wait does your suit have a body cam? I guess that makes things easier, because it probably doesn't have pockets. Not to mention if you dropped your phone while you were flying around-"

"Who the fuck are you?" Homelander spits interrupting you.

"No one important."

“Is he really what passes for a hero these days?” Ben cocks an eyebrow. “He’s just a cheap fucking knock off of me.”

“No.” Homelander snarls, eyes beginning to glow bright red. “I’m the upgrade.”

The laser cuts through the air in slow motion, but you’re already moving.

"Ben!" His name rips from your throat as you lunge forward and shove him as hard as you can out of the way of the beam. You feel the laser tear through your body, the force throwing you backward through one of the wood paneled walls and then the darkness swallows you whole.

If someone were to ask you what it was like to die, you wouldn’t know how to answer. To exist in those thirteen seconds sometimes feels like a dream, like you're floating, but it's always silent. And the silence scares you. How quickly it comes to drag you under and how it seems to replace everything you know or remember about the real world until you come back to life. You understood why Ben didn't like being alone, because you didn't either. It reminded you too much of those moments you were gone, wishing for it to stop. There was never a bright light, there was only the darkness and the silence that fell when your heart stopped beating.

When you take your first breath in thirteen seconds it's full of dust and ash, swirling into your mouth as you inhale sharply to jumpstart your lungs. But at the same time everything is different. The colors in the room are brighter, the sounds more acute, the smells just a fraction stronger, and you feel different. Power floods through your limbs, swirling through flesh and bone, pouring through your veins, electrifying through each nerve ending and setting you on fire, more than any other power ever has. You'd never felt power like this before. Even with Countess and the others that had killed you, no other power you'd ever gotten had felt this strong.

You stand up from the rubble you landed in, covered in a layer of dust and blood. The hole in your new outfit where the laser struck is just under your left breast, the mark left behind already a pink scar. And you knew that Ben would probably kill you for it later, for taking the laser for him, but you didn't care.

Homelander is floating in the center of the room, holding Ben by the throat, smiling cruelly at him.

"Hey asshole." You snarl, spitting out a glob of blood onto the ruined carpet. "We're not done."

Homelander turns his head towards you amused, while Ben grabs at the front of his suit, trying to get his attention, but Homelander is focused on you.

"So that's it? That's your big trick? Laser vision? Forgive me for not cowering in fear." Your hands clench into fists at your sides.

He eyes you for a moment. "You're Indigo aren't you?"

"I used to be. Now I'm just disappointed. I expected more from Vought's big hero, but now I see that you're just another asshole who thinks he's a god." Your eyes drift to Ben for a moment, worry clawing at your heart when you meet his gaze. "So drop him. Before I drop you."

"You’re very confident for someone who was dead a few seconds ago. I don't really see how that ability is going to help you-"

"Before I didn’t want to kill you."

"And you think you can?" He laughs.

"No." You smirk. "I know I can."

"Who do you think you’re talking to?"

"I’m not talking to much." Your eyes narrow. "But I'll be nice, and I'll give you a chance to leave. To tuck your tail between your fucking legs and fly away. We didn't come here for you and you and I don't have to do this."

"And if I don't leave?"

"Then I'll kill you."

"I'd like to see you try." Homelander throws Ben as hard as he can through the brick fireplace, causing rock and mortar to rain down on top of him, but Homelander's eyes don't leave yours. “Well why don’t you give me your best sho-“

He doesn’t have time to finish his sentence, your body ploughs into his tackling him through the solid outer wall and onto the back lawn.

Truthfully you hadn’t meant to go through the wall, you’d only meant to pin him to it, but flying was proving just a little more difficult than you expected. Your hand closes on Homelander’s wrist bringing him down against the ground so hard that the earth quakes, before you throw him as far away from you as you can.

His body spins awkwardly in the air, before he ploughs into one of the thick oak trees head on, at the edge of the backyard. The loud snap of the tree compensating for Homelander’s body fills the air.

He stumbles to his feet, eyes narrowed in pure hatred, lip curled back in a snarl, and his blonde hair flopping forward into his face.

“You chose wrong.” You spit, rolling your shoulders, preparing for what came next.

Homelander lets out a roar and flies towards you, arms outstretched for you, but you’re ready for him.

You catch his fist before it lands against your face and tighten your other hand around his throat. Your bodies are floating two feet off the ground, but it doesn’t faze you.

When Homelander’s gaze meets yours you see just a flicker of fear, a spark, quickly masked by his shock. He struggles to pull away to push you away with his free hand, but all you do is tighten your grip.

 "You've never felt real pain before have you?" You force your face into a sympathetic frown, before your eyes harden. "Allow me to enlighten you."  You throw him to the ground again, watching his body spin and screech against the grass and dirt.

 Given the screams and smell of blood in the air, any witnesses from the massacre inside were at the front of the house waiting for the police, leaving you and Homelander on the backside of the house alone.

Worry for Ben rose in your chest like the peak of a wave, you hadn't seen him since Homelander threw him through the fireplace, but you funnel that worry into all encompassing rage.

"They told you that you were a god right? That you were the most powerful supe that ever lived. They were wrong. There's only one supe more powerful than you, and you just fucking pissed her off." You shout beginning to float towards him.

Homelander growls rising to his feet, eyes glowing bright red as he fires a laser at you, but you’re ready.

Your own beam catches his mid air between you, the high pitched sizzle and smell of ozone floats across your face, but you don't back down. If anything, it just makes you more angry.

And then something slams into you from the side, breaking the connection between your beam and Homelander's.

"What-" You shout, looking up at the body above yours, preparing to blast them off, but you realize it's Ben. "Ben what-"

"Stay here." He growls, eyes black. Ben looks pissed, whether it’s because you pushed Ben out of the way before or if it’s because he’s annoyed that Homelander punched him you’re not sure.

"What?" You look beyond him, to see Hughie and Butcher tackle Homelander to the ground.

They're going to try to turn him human.

"I can hold him down-" You say. “Let me help.”

"No." Ben snarls as he stalks towards Homelander, his chest beginning to glow.

“Ben-“

“Stay the fuck there.” Ben shouts still looking at Homelander.

Your eyes flit to the leader of the Seven. Watching him struggle against Hughie and Butcher, who yell at one another, but you don’t hear them. You wait for the remorse to crash over you, the guilt, but it never comes.

I gave him a choice. He could have run. He didn’t. He chose this.

And just when you think it’s all over, Homelander breaks away from them, surging up into the air to freedom. You feel your feet leave the ground to follow him, someone’s hand tightens on your ankle and drags you back down to earth.

“No.” Ben’s voice is more of a growl than anything else.

He’s angry, that much you can tell from the look on his face and from the way his eyes have hardened into two solid chunks of emerald as he locks eyes with you.

But why? Angry because Homelander got away or angry because I pushed him out of the way?

“Ben I can get him. Let me go.” You kick your ankle but Ben holds on.

“No.” Ben snarls. “You’re not about to go after that sick fuck by yourself.”

“Ben-“

“No. If I have to chain you to the ground I will.” Ben pulls you down further and releases your ankle to  fasten his hand around you waist to hold you tighter against the ground. “You’re not going after him.”

“Fine.” You snap pulling yourself from his grasp, your own temper flaring.

You hated when Ben did that, when he acted like you weren’t just as capable as him of doing this. It reminded you of your childhood, when you were treated like you were made of glass, a pretty doll that was made to be looked at but never touched.

And you knew it came from Ben’s want to protect you, knew that it came from his fear of losing you, but that didn’t make it any less annoying.

You didn’t pout when Ben went out to face someone, didn’t try to act like he couldn’t do it.

“I know that maybe I’m a little behind but… WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?” Hughie shouts. “You have laser vision and you can fly and you can move things with your mind!?” He looks frantically from you to Ben.

You don’t answer, your eyes are still on Ben who looks ready to throw Butcher’s car into space. You could practically see the waves of anger rolling off of him like a comic strip.

“You didn’t before, did you?” Butcher’s eyes trace your body as things begin to click into place. “You didn’t before he killed you.”

“Hold on.” Hughie holds up his hand. “Are you telling me that you die and you come back to life WITH THE POWERS OF THE SUPE THAT KILLED YOU?”

“It wasn’t in the files.” Butcher’s eyes still haven’t left you. “Vought didn’t know did they?”

You don’t like the way he’s looking at you, don’t like the glimmer in his eyes as if you’d just solved all his problems. It was the exact look that was in the eyes of the scientists the day you took the serum for the first time. To them that’s all Ben and you were, lab rats, people who were stupid enough to listen to the wild ideas of glory and a better world they spouted.

“We should go.” You murmur, listening to the sounds of the ambulances and the police coming up the driveway. “It’s about to be a circus here and I'd rather not make my big social media debut covered in rubble and blood."

Ben’s mouth is clamped together, green eyes blazing at your mention of blood. You knew that he was focused on the bloody hole left behind in the corset where Homelander's laser had ripped through your body.

Another scar, another fun story to tell my daughter when I see her… great.

*****************************************

The car ride to Legend’s is dead silent. Ben doesn’t look at you, doesn’t try to hold your hand, and doesn’t try to touch you in any way. Instead his hands are curled into fists, sitting on the tops of his thighs while his anger heats the inside of the car like a furnace. You knew it was only a matter until he exploded, but now you had bigger things on your mind.

You had just exposed yourself to Homelander, showed your face to him, not to mention you admitted to being Indigo. It would be easy for him to find your real name in the Vought archives find your file and the same name that linked you to Rosemary. She’d gone back to her maiden name when her husband died, which meant the two of you had the same last name and it wouldn’t be difficult for Homelander to find her.

Which meant you needed to get to her first.

You had tried to text her, tried to tell her to have a bag ready and that you were going to pick her up, but she was refusing to do so and you didn’t exactly want to text “Homelander is a fucking psychopath and he’s going to come after you” to her phone. Plus you couldn’t exactly call her, not in this cramped car.

Legend is waiting on the front porch of his country home when Butcher pulls his car into the end of the long driveway, somewhere that you’d been to many times in the past. He's smoking a joint and scrolling through his phone, wearing the same outfit you had seen him in a few days ago.

"Kitten!" He smiles wide at you when he sees you and pulls you into a hug. “I was worried when I heard about that mess with Countess. You never called.” Legend frowns at you, blowing out a lungful of smoke. "Guess you guys had a talk."

"Something like that." You frown. "It got complicated really fast."

“I told you so.” His eyes shift to where Ben is glowering a foot behind you. "I see he found you. I didn't tell him-"

"I know you didn't. Thank you for keeping your promise." You smile tightly, squeezing Legend's hand. He really was a good friend. One of the oldest ones you had besides Ben.

"Figured if I did, you'd keep him from ripping my head off."

“Haven’t decided if I’m not going to yet.” Ben snarls and Legend's eyes widen in fear.

But you knew that he was just redirecting his anger. Ben was angry because you put yourself in harms way to protect him and the sooner you had it out, the sooner you could go get Rosemary and Lou.

"Ben we both know that you're not mad at Legend, you're mad at me. So you might as well spit it out, because we've got bigger problems than your hissy fit-" You begin to say. You were sick of him pouting, refusing to look at you, refusing to touch you.

"What the FUCK were you thinking?!" Ben roars towering over you, eyes flashing. "Getting between me and him like that!"

Legend backs away, afraid that he's going to get caught in the cross-fire.

"Calm down." You sigh, gritting your teeth together. You were trying your best not to lose it either, because the last thing this situation needed was you losing control.

"DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN." Ben's hands are clenched tightly into fists, his suit beginning to glow bright.

"You're going to have to calm down or you're going to blast me to kingdom come!" You snap back.

Ben grits his teeth together and closes his eyes tightly while his chest begins to fade back to normal and when it does, he opens his eyes to glare at you. "Why did you do that? I had him handled-"

"You didn't."

"Yes I did. You didn't give me a chance to-"

"No what I did was I didn't give that psychopath a chance to punch a hole through your chest with his fucking laser vision." You poke him in the chest. "Of the two of us, I have a greater chance of surviving that!”

By then Butcher and Hughie had moved to give the two of you a wide berth, standing where Legend was watching the two of you looking bored. They were probably hoping that you didn’t cut one of them in half with your new powers.

"Are they always like this?" You hear Butcher ask Legend from where they stand a safe distance away.

"Pretty much." Legend answers, blowing out a puff of the fowl smelling smoke.

"Do you ever get used to it?" Hughie mutters.

"Nope."

“Is there an off button?” Butcher sighs.

“Nope.” Legend puffs his joint.

"You don't know that!" Ben spits back at you. "I could have!"

"I wasn't willing to take that chance damnit!"

How can I make him understand this? How can he finally understand what it would be like for me to lose him all over again, just when I got him back?

"Do you really think that I'm willing to play Russian Roulette with your life?" Ben snarls, grabbing you by the shoulders so tightly you're sure they'll be bruises but all you can do is look into his quickly darkening eyes. "Do you have any idea what it did to me to see you die AGAIN? To see him TOUCH YOU? To know that he HURT you?"

"We've already had this conversation Ben-"

"And we're going to fucking have it again!" His grip tightens. "I told you to stay behind me!"

The last time he'd touched you like this was the night of the premiere, when he told you that he didn't care about you, that he could never love you. The memory of that night lodges itself in the back of your throat, but you keep it down.

"And I told you that I wasn't going to do that!"

"Damn it y/n you can't-"

You pull yourself away from him. "No Ben. You can't tell me what to do. You don't get to control me. People have tried to control me all my damn life and when I first came with you I thought I was giving that up. But no, I just moved on and Vought took over. When I decided to live my own life, to stop being a supe, I was free! Finally! After forty years of bullshit I was finally free!"

Ben’s jaw is so tightly locked together you think you hear the grinding of his teeth. “So what are you saying? Are you saying that when you’re with me you feel trapped? Like I’m holding you fucking hostage?!”

“No.” You exhale heavily. "I understand that you love me. I understand that you want to protect me. But you need to understand that I love you too. That just as you're willing to lay down your life for me, I am willing to lay down my life for you. And if you want this to work between us, you need to understand that you don't control me. You're not my dad or my owner, you're the man I love. And until you realize that I am just as capable of protecting you as you are protecting me-"

"I know that." Ben seethes.

"What?"

"Do you really think that I don't see how strong you are?” You watch something flash in his eyes that isn't anger, the vulnerable look is back for a fleeting moment and it rocks you to your core. "I don’t want to control you! I’m not trying to. Have you thought that maybe after all this time I just wanted you to need me like I need you?"

His confession makes your heart stop. Does he really think that I don’t need him? That after all these years there’s no one else that I’ve needed more in my entire life?

“Ben.” You sigh while stretching out your hand to lay against his arm, but he flinches away. “ I do need you. You have no idea how much I need you, no idea what it did to me when I lost you even after everything that happened. I just don’t want you to treat me like I’m made of glass.”

“I don’t treat you like you’re-“ He begins to say.

“Yes. You do. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect me, but you have to understand that I want to protect you too.”

He huffs out a breath, shoulders tensed, arms crossed over his muscular chest. “I do understand that. I just hate it when you do that, that you push me out of the way. I hate when you get hurt.”

“And I hate when you get hurt." You bite the inside of your cheek. "You say that you were angry that Homelander hurt me, but did you stop to consider what it did to me to see him try to hurt you? Do you know what it did to me to see him touch you?”

Ben stands there for a minute glaring down at you, before his gaze begins to soften. “No.” He grumbles.

“Exactly.”

You both stand there for a minute eyeing one another, daring the other to break the silence.

This is ridiculous.

Finally Ben, sighs out a breath and jerks you forward against his chest. The hug would be bone crushing for anyone else, but not to you.

“You’re so fucking annoying.” He mutters into the top of your head, while his body curves around yours.

“I love you too asshole.” You huff, hugging him back just as tight.

“See they always work it out.” Legend shrugs at Butcher. “Takes them a while to get there. They made my job so much harder in the 70’s. Though I will say it’s a relief that they’re finally admitting they love each other. Way too much sexual tension before, gave me anxiety.”

Ben pulls back to look at your face with another loud sigh. He still looks a little angry, but not angry enough to start shouting again. His thumb strokes against your cheek. “Are you okay?”

You nod once leaning into his touch. “Are you?” You brush back some of his dark hair out of his face, looking for bruises but you don’t see any.

“Yeah.” He nods.

“If the two of you are done, we have bigger things to worry about-“ Butcher begins to say.

“We are and we do.” You interrupt looking away from Ben to stare at Butcher. “I need to borrow your car.”

“Why?”

“I need to go back to the city.”

“What?” Ben sputters releasing you from his grasp.

“And I think it would be better if I went alone-“ You continue slowly.

Honestly you did think that it would be better if you went alone, but you didn’t want to. You wanted Ben to come with you, the problem was Rosemary.

“Like hell I’m letting you go alone with that son of a  bitch flying around!” Ben shouts, temper flaring again.

“Which is why I have to go.” You try to say it diplomatically, try to have him understand without having to explain it. But there’s really no way around it, around any of this.

“No.”

“Ben please c-"

“Don’t tell me to calm down again! I’m not being crazy. You’re not going after him!” His eyes blaze a brilliant green, as he crosses his hands over his chest.

“Ben-“

“Why can’t you listen to me for once?”

“BEN!” You shout, grabbing his face and holding his cheeks between your palms to catch his attention.

“What?” Ben’s eyes lock with yours.

“I’m not going to the city to go after Homelander.”

He pauses confused. “Then why are you-“

And you just can’t take it anymore. You can’t hold it in any longer, can’t think of a way to tell him without just ripping the bandaid off. Your eyes meet his, apologetic, determined, and just a little bit fearful.

“I’m going back into the city to get our daughter.”

A/N: I know I know, it's been a while and honestly I didn't mean to get hit by writer's block this bad 😂😭

But it kinda works out, because what better way to celebrate Father's Day than to tell Soldier Boy that he's a dad?

As always thank you so much for reading! There are big things coming! And thank so much for the love and support! If you'd like to be added to the taglist please let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303

@deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs

@bughill126 @simplyfixated @sleepjam @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts

@onlyangel-444 @lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan @marvel-mistress

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@thesilmarillionblog @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @libby99hb @peachhiz @tinydancer40

[urlocaldesertdweller]

(Stanley X Ranger/Cop! Reader)

inspired by _heyitsjei on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@_heyitsjei/video/7411525022759570704?lang=en

im in love with the dymanic of ranger/cop of gravity falls in a strange relationship with the famous but sneaky Stan Pines. (suggestive, subtle mention of erection, making out, sensual touching)

You were an inspiring new ranger on the streets of Gravity Falls! You would accept any job from Blubs or Durland, and they had just the plan for you.

You had to look over a sneaky con artist named Stanley Pines. His age, in his 60s, made you think twice about this gig. Until you had your first encounter with him.

When you drove to the tourist trap that was his home, before you could even knock on the door, you heard a loud older voice scream about how the police were here in a panic.

You give a few knocks, which startles an entire argument between the older voice and a couple of younger voices within the home. After a couple more minutes of waiting and making sure you look clean from your hat and ranger pin, the door opens.

A young girl with a nervous smile looks up at you, and then when looking up, you see what you believe is Stanley, who looks clearly uncomfortable and is forced by the little girl to come and answer the door. She quickly introduces herself as Mabel, stepping aside to let Stanley enter the doorway and take a good look at you.

You didn't look intimidating as you smiled with a warm greeting for a ranger. Mabel relaxes with your first moment of greeting, and then you explain why you are here. To keep a close eye on Stanley Pines for a while, by orders of Sheriff Blubs.

Stanley's nervous grin falls into a frown as he scratches his back, groaning that he's basically going into a glorified retirement watch by a cop. With a mild eye twitch, you extend your hand to shake hands. Mabel elbows his side, and he sighs and takes your hand in shaking it. What surprises you is him pulling you in patting you on the back and whispering this.

"Good luck, kid; a young cop like yourself will have a rough time with an old but experienced dog like myself."

He lets you go, and you act as though he had challenged you. You walk back, confused but determined, looking back at the cabin.

...

You'd have your weekly to daily checkups on Stan Pines. You stood firm against his tricks and frustrating antics, from bribing you to straight-up attempting to lie in front of your face. But you weren't Sheriff Blubs of Deputy Durland.

From warning to fines, Stan made sure to give you the stink eye as you beamed with pride doing your job. Of course, this man would step and dabble crimes involving you having to take him into the office for questioning.

Once, you'd pulled up proof that he was not only scamming people out of money for some party but also carrying various weapons within his home.

You pull into the booming outdoor party; you don't falter when you feel the wave of groans as you step out of your vehicle; Stan makes sure to comment about you being once again the party pooper. This only made things tense between the two of you as you stepped right into the middle of the dance floor, hands on your hips, staring right at Stan.

You couldn't help but glance at the way he was dressed; it suited and looked good on him for being in his 60s (the party outfit in "Swooning over Stans"). Stanley would catch you but say nothing in front of such a crowd. He smirks.

"I'm afraid you're coming with me, Stanley Pines. You had fun while you had it tonight, but I'm taking you in for crossing the line with this party!"

The surrounding crowd ooohs as you pull out your cuffs, and you watch Stan visibly tense up; he looks almost ready to run, but you rush up to the porch walking behind his back. He resists, but you manage to cuff him behind his back. Thanks to the other young twin of Mable, Dipper stopped him from running.

You lead him towards your car as the crowd watches the show. From insults to snarky comments about the way you are handling and touching him in the back of the vehicle, you only roll your eyes. As you double-check the locks and yell to the party to continue as they pleased, you drove off back into the roads towards the town.

The tension only grows between you as you stay quiet and keep your eyes on the road, only sparing some glances at him in your mirror to ensure he isn't escaping, also maybe to enjoy the exposed chest where a gold chain is nestled in chest hair and his man-boobs.

However, Stanley would finally talk about how he didn't miss how you looked at him at the party and now. You are surprised by this; you nearly choke on your spit and swerve slightly on the road. You cough, clearing your throat as you tilt the mirror, and you glare at him with your meanest eyes, making Stan chuckle as you enter town.

You were unaware of having to use the oldest cop cars known today and that the literal child's lock was set and entirely available for Stanley in the back.

You do your best to cool your face down from Stans's comment, which oddly seems to come at a consistent rate until you were realized too late from the sound of the lock being shifted and the door opening.

You stop immediately as Stan jumps out of the door into the streets while screaming for freedom. The people walking gasp and shout at the sight. You jump out and make a run yelling for Stan to stop while he mocks you and laughs. He's a decent runner for an older guy...until his knees fail him, and he slows down quickly.

Being the tryhard cop you are, you tackle him and press him hard into the ground on top of him. He groans and shifts underneath you; the sight alone relaxes the people around.

You have to admit the man caught a young cop like you off guard, and you even found yourself breathless from the chase. You lean beside his ear, laughingly from when he challenged you.

"...I don't..need any luck to catch you! And I thought that you were... experienced, no.?"

Stanley straight-up growls with frustration and tries his hardest to move out of your grip. He even dares to thrust into you with shock, but it only makes you hotter and keeps the grip on his hands harder.

The crowd then becomes confused by the odd tensions and weird movements the two of you are making and leaves the scene.

With enough shuffling, you manage to get him back in the car; for good measure, you get an extra pair of cuffs on his ankles, to which Stan can't help but give a low whistle at the sight of you below and between his legs.

You give him a stink eye and slam the door on him before returning to drive to the office.

You feel the tension only become thicker between you and him as you think yourself tugging on the tight collar of your shirt, and you find Stan unbuttoning just one more button and sighing leaning into the seat, legs wide even with the cuffs. He was going to be the death of you for sure.

Things are thick as you grab him out, you swear you could feel him cursing under his breath but you keep on pushing him into the lit building to have him situated.

You huff and finally return him to the building. Your Sheriff and Deputy are found playing with a paper fortune teller at the main desk. They look equally as flustered when you surprise them with Stan by your side looking as though the two of you were making out.

You get the keys to the cell he will be momentarily set in. You sit him down to take off the ankle cuffs, the heat between you grew as you realized that Stan was closing his thighs you look up in question to look at a very red Stan.

…Oh my, it doesn’t take awhile to realize what Stan is feeling right now. You quickly stand and back away unsure and Stan admits.

“Shit kid, You can leave me in here if you’re uncomfortable… This is such a bad time.”

You gulp finding yourself tugging out you collar once more. You feel yourself getting red and hot but you shake your head and sigh as you step forward towards him in response.

Stan is clearly surprised by your reaction.

But what makes everything tip is when you sit on his lap making him groan which is covered by his hand shoved into his mouth.

Hands and lips are thrown at once. Stan is quick to wrap his arms around you, your lips met hot and soft.

His hands softly rub into your hips through your clothing, as you feel for his skin through the window of his unbuttoned party shirt.

You both push in with your tongues, even with a heated make out session you both seem to have a competition as you both fight for dominance. The fact that this is your first time making out with some one definitely says something about you.

He comes over top more experienced, especially when he thrusts into you making you gasp and pull away breathless and tugging on your shirt desperately wanting to cool down.

But Stan stops you when you reach for your buttons.

“Don’t. This can wait when you aren’t on the job okay sweet cheeks? You are, amazing for a cop but I don’t want me to ruin your job.”

You nod and pull away out of the cell locking it and smile at Stan to which he winks at you and finger-guns you.

“But I promise you a hell of a good time somewhere else, beautiful.”

You are definitely going to look forward for that in the future. Maybe he isn’t so bad after all.

[whoopsyeahokay]

October Sun

summary: your mother had warned you. Don't let them know, she'd said, her nails digging angry crescents into the flesh of your upper arms, eyes wild and imploring, don't let them know you can see. you'd listened, all these years, you'd lived your life by that rule. until you couldn't.

pairing: Wally Clark x fem!reader

warnings: eventual smutty smut smut. and mad spoilers. and obvious Canon divergence. very involved, very dense plot.

bon reading, frens

___________________________💀

OCTOBER SUN pt.1

Like most things, it started with a look.

A boy. A girl. A crowded place; a friend talking—their voice muted as if heard through a motel wall. Time slows. People filter in and out of the space between, chatting, laughing, in frame just long enough to emphasize the weight behind something that, in any other context, would be utterly unimportant.

Simon had urged you outside at lunch, pulled you away from your table, tone frayed in desperation as he interrogated you about things you're certain you'd made seem the expression of a morbidly quirky imagination.

"Well," He said, like jabbing the eraser-end of a pencil into your sternum, "Can you?"

You hesitated, gaze lifting away from his to skirt the middle-distance behind him.

And then—

It happened molasses-slow. Your eyes caught his; lingered a beat too long to be played off as anything other than what it was. Acknowledgment.

Those sweet-sultry cow eyes widened a fraction.

Oh no.

Then time rushed back in and snapped into the correct rhythm. You didn't have a chance to process what had just happened because Simon sighed with the weight of the world, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and pulling. Quickly, you arranged your expression into something slightly put-off.

"Si, what are you talking about?"

Simon groaned and took a few steps back then forward again. He reminded you of a caged animal being forced to perform. Lately, his mannerisms had been erratic, a little unhinged. You'd caught him talking to himself a couple of times, in classrooms or the cafeteria. The last couple of days he'd been glued to his phone, taking spontaneous calls that he'd never received before. Initially, you'd assumed he was in touch with Maddie; the only one she'd trusted enough to keep in the loop. However, the more you'd observed, the more you'd doubted the assumption.

You'd watched him unravel from a distance, of course. Nicole had turned inward, Simon was bursting at the seams, and you, as the casual friend with a life separate to theirs, stayed away out of a sense of insecurity.

You and Maddie hadn't been as close as she and Simon and Nicole. You shared interests in the macabre and spooky, but that's where it ended. Event Buddies who became familiar through exposure, lacking that profound connection that would give you a reason to call about something other than the next horror film release date.

You didn't feel right about asking to share their grief. It felt intrusive.

Simon paced the length of the bus shelter once more before stopping in front of you. He was clearly nervous, frustrated, avoiding your gaze for a second while he collected his thoughts.

Finally, he took a deep breath, glanced around to make sure no one was within earshot, and said, low and secret, "You talked about the ghosts here—" You folded your arms and tilted your head in what you hoped came across as confused. "—Last year," Simon grabbed your arm and pulled you in closer when a group of younger girls walked by, "Last year, you told us about the crush you had on your mom's dead boyfriend, remember? The guy who died during the '83 homecoming game?"

"They never dated." You corrected, fighting the urge to chew your lip. A giveaway that you were about to choose your words very carefully. "But, look, Simon, I talked about that stuff because I thought it was fun. Not because I can commune with the dead."

"But your mom—"

"Is a fraud and you know it." Then you frowned, genuinely intrigued, "What's going on?"

Simon shot you a dazed look, "Huh?"

"Why are you suddenly into this Sixth Sense shit? You've never believed in it before. A stance you've made very clear you take." Every time you joked about reaching out to the Other Side, Simon would scoff and roast you endlessly. Something that you found endearing. Like a prickly inside joke. It was your thing.

Suddenly, Simon got that look on his face, the one he got in class when your teachers outlined your homework. As if he were listening to someone. Except there was no one else close enough to hear.

The silence stretched into a thin static between you until, at last, Simon said, "Never mind." He sounded equal parts defeated and aggravated.

Taking a cautious step forward, you placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about Maddie, Si, I—" Have no idea how to put into words how fucked up it all is, "—I wish there was something, anything, I could do to help."

Simon pressed his lips together and nodded. From the corner of your eye, you saw a figure approaching the bus shelter. Tall, broad, donning the unmistakable colors of the Split River Bandits, née Devils. You had to get out of there before you irrevocably fucked up and found yourself at the center of what your mother warned you would be a swarm.

"Look," You dropped your hand to Simon's, squeezing supportively. You might not have been able to tell the whole truth but you could try to offer some comfort. Whether or not he believed you was up to him. "Maddie's okay, Simon. Wherever she is. Whatever happened to her..." You paused, considering your next words, "She can't be so far gone that we won't get her back."

You said it with all the conviction you had in you, believed it to your core.

You'd seen the beatnik with her lollipops, the shy boy with the glasses; you'd seen the young man in the outdated suit, and the modest, Sally Olsson lookalike, and the girl with the daydream eyes. You'd seen the myspace emo punk, the lanky autoshop geek, the dark-skinned disco queen; the marching band, and the theater kid...and him. The charming, high-on-life football star currently stood outside the bus shelter, his hands cupped around his eyes as he peeked through the glass against the glare of the sun.

You hadn't seen Maddie. Not a glimmer or a shadow or the impression that she'd been and gone. Nothing. And you'd done your due diligence as soon as you'd heard about the blood in the boiler room. You'd scoured the town after dark, before school, whenever you could get away without raising suspicion. Her old haunts and favorite places had been empty.

Minus a couple of exceptions, but they hadn't been Maddie, so you didn't see the harm in continuing to keep the truth from Simon.

"Yeah." Simon said. He didn't sound convinced. "Thanks. For that."

You deflated, released his hand with an affirming squeeze, and made your excuse, "I gotta get ready for next period."

He didn't meet your eyes, simply pulled his phone out and put it to his ear. "See you later." The smile he gave you was tight, quick, insincere.

Taking that as your cue to leave, you turned and exited the bus shelter, tall dark 'n' handsome keeping pace as you made your way back into the school, his gaze a warm weight on the side of your face.

All you had to do was pretend he wasn't there. You'd done it countless times in the past, were well-versed in how to cover your mistakes.

You stopped briefly, reached out to open the door, and in that second, you felt a tingle up your spine and the closeness of a body behind you. His voice, a gentle rumble, spoke directly into your ear, the parody of soft breath tickling the hairs on your neck.

"I know you can see me."

You forced yourself not to react, perhaps stood a second too long before yanking the door open and marching inside, but you kept your eyes forward, and relaxed your jaw and shoulders. To the students milling about the hall, you were the picture of normal.

"Do what you want but I'm not going anywhere until you admit it." He said lightly, a step behind you as you maneuvered toward your locker.

Once again, you had to stop, twisting in the combination to open your lock. You fumbled, missing a number, had to start again. He leaned his shoulder against the locker beside yours, watched you through his lashes, a smirk pulling one side of his mouth upward.

You'd always been attracted to him. Had to suppress the urge to stare at him when he appeared in the same classroom or hallway you happened to be in. Having him interact with you, intentionally, made your heart quicken and the ability to think critically dissolve.

Oh God, not again...

Your brain fired a thousand synapses in every direction as you willed yourself to hurry before you accidentally did something stupid; steadied your hand to input the combination correctly. You tugged the lock. It stayed stubbornly latched. And then he leaned in, too close, the tip of his nose practically grazing your temple.

"You missed the 3."

The air was syrupy thick, fuzzy. In an effort to concentrate, you closed your eyes, repeating a mantra your mother had taught you to center yourself.

You sensed his body shift, tilted further toward you like a bracket, then the sensation of blunt nails traveling up up up your back, catching in the material of your shirt as if the touch were real. Goosebumps erupted over your arms, your breath hitched, and you found your head slanting in his direction.

Fuck. You needed to—BANG—Jesus Christ!

Your eyes snapped open at the abrupt noise, your friend cackling wickedly as she took in your shock.

"Hey, silly." Mathilda Grace—of The Split River Graces, not that she'd ever say it like that—grinned proudly at the reaction she'd gotten out of you. "You ready to fail this test with me?"

You could still feel him hovering, but it seemed he'd put an appropriate amount of distance between you. Shaking your head to clear the last of the muzziness from a moment ago, you plastered on your most natural smile and responded, "Let's go disappoint our parents."

You managed to undo the lock and grab the right textbooks, transferring what you didn't need from your bag into your locker while Mathilda regaled you with what you'd missed after Simon had dragged you outside.

"What did he want, anyway?" Mathilda asked, more concerned than curious.

"To talk about Maddie." You replied as close to the truth as you dared. It had the added benefit of making Mathilda feel awkward enough to change the subject immediately.

"K, c'mon, bell's about to go and I need to grab my book, too."

Shutting and locking your locker, you chanced a sideways glance and were relieved to find that it was just you and Mathilda and the regular stream of other alive-and-well students making their way to their next class.

Still, as you and Mathilda walked toward Ms. Fields' class, you felt the tingle of his gaze on the back of your neck.

The next couple of days would be white-knuckle hard, but you'd dealt with it before and could do it again. Had to do it again.

What you didn't anticipate—and probably should've, given what you knew about him—was Wally Clark's steadfast determination and his refusal to let sleeping dogs lie for a second time.

💀___________________________

PART TWO

also available on AO3!

MASTERLIST

[vanesycho]

Summary:Renting a boyfriend? It was the stupidest idea in the world according to you, but what will you do when you get used to him and want to see him again?

wc:2,08k

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"No way! Have you lost your mind?"

You backed away as your friend tried to pull you inside. "Come on, it'll be good for you too."

"Buying a boyfriend? I don't think so." Your friend knew that you were sitting at home all the time and not doing any activities lately, you didn't even spend time with her and she thought that at least by having a man in your life, things would change. "If you don't want to then you never do it again, just for 2 hours? Pleaseee."

You let out a deep breath and let her pull you in, your friend smiling with victory. When you entered, you looked around in surprise as you saw that the place was crowded. A couple passed by, you guessed that the man was someone who worked here. "Come on, I registered for you and...Nakamoto Yuta? He'll be your boyfriend today." After your friend's sentence, she winked and tried to find Yuta among the other men working, even the idea of being alone with a man you didn't know for 2 hours was very scary.

"Oh! Here he is." You looked at your friend as she brought a black and long-haired figure with her. He smiled at you softly, walked over to you and leaned in, you stepped back a little. “Y/n. So I’ll be with you today?” You turned your head and looked for your friend and saw that she was already heading towards the exit of the store. She gave you a quick air kiss and disappeared. Did she leave you here alone with him? You quickly turned to the Yuta. "Two.We'll only be together for two hours."

He held your hand and started to lead you towards the exit. "There's no point in waiting then if it's two hours." You pulled your hand away from him and he turned to you, trying to figure out what was wrong. "Who told you to hold my hand?" He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and waved it in front of your face. "Rules?"

You frowned. “Did you really not read the rules?” He handed you the paper, you took it and looked over the rules.

Welcome to the boyfriend store! Here are the rules for you;

-Holding hands and hugging are mandatory. (We care about the customers' request, if you are not interested in skin contact we recommend you to choose men who are interested in this)

-Satisfaction of some sexual desires and wishes (upon request, not mandatory)

Our only wish is that you do not feel lonely and have a good time with your boyfriend, even if only for a few hours.Thank you for choosing us!

And there was some contact information at the bottom, you looked up at him, he was waiting for a reaction from you, you handed the paper to him. "Well, you better not get too close though." He nodded in agreement and extended his hand, you took it and walked out of the store.

While walking down the alley, Yuta saw a cafe. “Would you like to go in?” You knew there was nothing else to do so you agreed. Yuta ordered your coffee for you, you mumbled a small 'thank you' when he handed it to you.

"What made you want to do this? Do you really have fun doing this job?" He took a sip of his drink. “We don’t really talk about that kind of stuff, but you’re obviously not interested in it either, so I’ll answer. No. But this is the best paying job, and I have to support my home, myself, I have to work here at least for a short time." You hummed. Think about how hard it is to work in a place you don't want to and have to be close to all these people. "Anyway, let's not talk about that, your friend seemed more interested than you."

You laughed, he looked at your face carefully, leaned his elbow on the table, put his head in his palm and looked at you. You cleared your throat with a fake cough as his full attention was on you, his eye contact was definitely good, no wonder he chose this job.If you didn't know better, you'd think he was working on this job on purpose. "Yeah, she was always saying that I was shutting myself up in the house and refusing to socialize, that if I had a man in my life, at least I would feel good about myself."

"Well, she's not lying." you were drinking your coffee without an answer, you didn't even know how to talk to a guy, no wonder you haven't had a boyfriend for so long, you've always had problems with communicating. "I got some information about you. You like taking photos?"

You nodded in affirmation. "Yes, I am not a professional photographer, unfortunately I do not have a proper camera, but I still love it, I often go for a walk in nature by myself and I take very nice photos from there." He smiled at how relaxed and happy you looked when you talked about your hobby. You stopped in embarrassment when you noticed his smile. "I'm sorry I talked too much."

Still smiling, he said, "No, I like this, please continue." You pressed your lips together, his attention wasn't leaving you, you were usually the listener and now it was the other way around, making you a little nervous. "So...as I said, I live on the street and it makes a lot of noise, I like nature and quiet places more, I hope one day I can move to a place like that and take more pictures of the beauty."

"I'm sure you will." He opened the bag he was carrying with him, you watched him with curiosity, you looked at the camera with surprise when he took out. "Oh that's what I was talking about, I've been saving money for this for a long time." He chuckled at how excited you were, handing the camera to you. "Would you like to try it?"

"Really?" He stood up and sat on the chair next to you. You took the camera in his hand and examined it. You were a little confused by the number of buttons. He smiled and put his hand on your hand that was holding the camera. "Let me show you.." He turned on the camera. "If you press this button for a long time, it will switch to video mode, this button will show the photos you have taken before, and if you press this button once, it will take a photo."

You tried to listen to him carefully but the scent of his perfume was distracting you as he was so close to you, he was almost hugging you while holding the camera by your shoulder with one hand,It felt weird to feel his breath on your neck and face every time he spoke. "Hey, are you okay? You got lost in thought."

"Huh what?" You turned to him, but you had forgotten how close your faces were for a moment, and when your noses touched, you quickly turned back. "I'm fine yes, sorry." He smiled at your reaction, thought it was cute, and put the camera in front of you. "Keep this for the rest of our time together, take pictures of anything you want and I'll print them and give them to you."

You turned to him excitedly, "Really? Thank you so much." he stood up "Come on, I know a nice place." You stood up without hesitation, Yuta went to pay for the coffees, even though you denied it, he didn't seem to be listening to you much, so you lost to him.

After walking for a while, you arrived at a park, mostly covered with trees, and you saw a lake, you talked while looking at the beauty of the environment. "I've heard a lot about this place but I never had the time to go." He clasped your hands together, you turned to him with the sudden warmth you felt. When you saw that he wasn't looking at you, you turned back to the front in shame. 'This is his job Y/n, these are normal things for him of course.' You got caught up in the moment and forgot that you would only be together for two hours.

You walked towards the lake, taking a deep breath as a few birds gathered around, smiling slightly as the scent of flowers filled your nose. But the sound of a camera behind you made you turn around quickly, Yuta was smiling at you with his camera in his hand. "You looked beautiful, I didn't want to miss it."

He came over and handed it to you, you took the camera as you smiled again, taking a few pictures of the beautiful view in front of you. Yuta came into view, his hands on the board in front of him as he looked around, you raised your camera again as you carefully looked at his side profile, taking a picture of him. The wind was caressing his long black hair, you continued to watch him as he closed his eyes, you swallowed hard, trying to come to your senses, in an hour there would be no one like him in your life. "Isn't it beautiful?"

You were pulled away from your thoughts by his voice and approached him. "Yes it is, no sound, no noise, just peace."

You continued to watch for a while, most of the time your mind was occupied with Yuta, you couldn't even look at the view in front of you properly.

──────────────────────

You spent a few minutes together and found yourself in front of the store again, your feet refusing to leave, you really couldn't have gotten used to him that quickly. You looked at the camera in your hand and handed it to him. "Thank you Yuta, I..I really had a good time."

He smiled "Keep the camera with you." You looked at him with your eyes wide in surprise, not knowing what to say. "What? No, I can't accept this."

He leaned in closer, tucking your hair behind your ear, you flinched when you felt his fingers. "Of course you can accept, take this as my thanks, I... This is the first time I've had a good time with someone." You refused to believe it, how many people did he go out with in a day and did he have fun with you?

You froze in place when you felt his lips on your forehead, a light, small kiss, the smile on his face didn't fade when he pulled back. "Thank you Y/n, take care of yourself and.. the camera too." He chuckled and you watched him walk into the store, you just stood there, not knowing how to react.

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When you got home you lay on your bed, stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. His face, his smile, his touch, his kiss, each one of them ran through your head like a film strip. You turned to the side, the camera was just there, you picked it up, looked through the photos that were taken before, you saw Yuta among a few landscape photos. He was perfect on camera but he was definitely better in real life, you went back to older photos, you didn't know if it would be right to look at them but your curiosity gave in.

You smiled when you saw a photo of him with a kitten. You looked at the smile on his face, you scrolled to the side. It was a picture of him lying on the grass, you looked at his hair, it was shorter than it is now and it was red, you thought how pretty he looked even with red hair.And the other photo looked more recent, he was in a studio or something, was he into music? Not knowing much about his normal life made you sad. You admitted to yourself that you wanted to talk more, you were used to it, unfortunately.

As you were about to take off your clothes, you noticed something in your pocket, you frowned, realizing it was a piece of paper. The paper on which the store had written the rules was "How did this get here?" You opened the paper, saw the contact information at the bottom, thought, should you go to him again?

──────────────────────

I'm thinking of writing another part of this, I'm not sure tho,if most people like it, I'll do it🤍🤍(and the photos above are the other photos on camera)

[rafeandonlyrafe]

il/licit

words: 2.1k

warnings: 18+ only!, smut, unprotected p in v sex, drug dealer!reader and drug dealer!rafe, brief mention of death, marriage, pills

“so proud of you baby.” you press your lips against rafes, smiles barely dropping off either of your faces to kiss.

“thank you princess.” rafe says, giving you another peck before walking to accept his trophy and prize.

when the local country club started their private golf competition, you encouraged rafe to join, never expecting that he would win the whole thing, but he had a perfect game, all the conditions falling into the right place to bring him to the top of the leaderboard.

you watch with pride in your eyes as rafe takes various pictures with the president of the country club, someone of the wives of the other players, all elite members in the country club and prominent business figures in the outer banks, congratulating you with a pat on the shoulder.

you take in the situation as the sun beats down on your face, an idea sparking.

it's not until a week later that you bring it up to rafe, not wanting to spoil his win by admitting while he posed with his trophy that you were forming a plan.

“i think we should legitimize. get away from selling to teens and work upwards. you know all those housewives have pill addictions already, we could become their suppliers, and then you'll have an in with their husbands.” you explain to rafe, hands gesturing as you continue your already thought out plan, a look of genuine interest on rafes face.

“can your supplier get those kind of pills?” rafe asks. he figures you'd already inquired.

“yeah. for cheap as shit too. this is better than coke and weed, rafe.” you finally sit down, having begun pacing like you always do when explaining a plan to rafe.

“then let's do it baby.” rafe nods.

you met through dealing, having sidestepped barry to deal directly with rafe when you saw his potential to reach a whole new higher class kook market, never expecting to fall in love with him at the same time, but you made the ultimate power couple, you supply, rafe deals, you both get paid.

--

“have you found your first mark?” rafe whispers in your ear, seeing the familiar look in your eyes as you scan the crowd.

“notice how mrs mitchell keeps sneaking off? she hates these types of events, shes popping pills just to keep herself from freaking out.” you whisper back, eyes on the woman as she begins to sway again, a telltale time it's ready for her to sneak away and down more pills from the tiny container in her purse.

you smirk as she excuses herself, just as you predicted.

“be right back.” you take a deep breath before walking away from rafe, a comforting squeeze of your waist in encouragement before you go.

you follow her towards the restroom before she ducks into a hallway. you round the corner just as she's digging into her purse.

“you know, if you had something stronger you wouldn't have to take so many.” your voice ringing out makes her jump, snapping her purse closed.

you don't give her time to react, pulling the bottle of pills out of your own purse. you hand it over, a cautious look on mrs. mitchells face as she takes them out of your hand, reading the label. it's the same drug she's already taking, just as a much higher dosage. you got the scoop by plying one of the other members of her book club with drinks at the country club until she spilled.

“how much?” mrs. mitchell asks, and you smile, glad she's not stupid, but it's why you chose her as the first.

“you owe me nothing for this bottle. just spread the word. ive got better than whoever is currently supplying you. get the word around and there will be more where that came from.” you glance to the bottle in her hand before leaving her to swallow her pills by herself. you already know who her dealer is of course, a crooked pharmacist who writes fake prescriptions, but has to keep them in extremely low doses to not rouse any suspicions.

you enter back into the main ballroom, quickly finding rafe chatting to one of the businessmen in town. you stride up, politely introducing yourself are rafe wraps his arm around your waist, well aware that some of the older men may look at you with a predatory gaze and not wanting them to get the wrong impression that you were open to any advances.

“how did it go?” rafe whispers when you get a moment alone.

“good.” you glance at mrs. mitchell through the crowd, her eyes glossed over but relaxed. “she’s gonna get the word out. we’re on our way up, rafe.”

--

“you look so hot.” rafe groans, pressing kisses to your neck as you finish adjusting your dress in the mirror.

“too hot? should i change? it is just bookclub.” you sigh. when mrs. mitchell invited you to join her bookclub, you knew exactly what she was really asking you there for, especially when she slipped you a piece of paper with names and preferred drugs.

“nah, very respectable.” rafe says, reaching around you to do up one of the buttons on the top of the dress, covering up more of your cleavage.

“we should be thinking about next steps. once i have the in with the housewives, whats the next play?” you question, more thinking out loud than anything else, not expecting rafe to have a solid plan yet.

“cameron developments. ward left it to me.” your hands pause over smoothing out the skirt of your dress as you turn to face rafe. he hasn’t spoken to you about his deceased father much, all you know is that he died in a different country and that it was tragic. you never wanted to pry, but couldn’t resist googling a bit about ward cameron, and the business he used to run.

“are you sure baby? we can start our own thing.” you wrap your arms around his shoulders, pressing your body to his as a physical comfort. rafe puts on a strong face, but you know sometimes he needs it.

“its already established, has all the proper documentation since we are trying to get more legit. we could always rename it cameron and y/l/n developments though.” rafe smirks.

“what, you don’t want me to take your last name?” you raise an eyebrow.

you can see the surprise on rafes face. you’ve never spoken about marriage before, but you’ve been together for a long time now and are clearly planning for the future as a couple.

“i always thought you were more traditional than that, rafe. i guess i could hyphenate.” you hum, but rafe aggressively shakes his head.

“no, baby, i’m making you mine. all the way.” rafe presses your back against the mirror as his lips find yours, glad that you’re just wearing a clear lip gloss as he makes a mess of your mouth.

“mmm.” you hum, pushing at rafes chest. “can’t be late. would look bad.”

rafe groans, but he knows you’re right, knows you need to give a good impression to all the prominent book club members. “i’ll drive you.”

you nod, grabbing your purse, the one with a hidden compartment in the lining where you’re hiding all the drugs you’re going to distribute, but you’re not worried, not when one of the women is the wife of the police commissioner. 

“you know, it would also look really good to everyone else if we got married. seems so silly to say boyfriend and girlfriend when we are surrounded by all these old married couples.” you tell rafe as he drives you towards mrs. mitchells house.

“baby girl, you don’t have to convince me to marry you.” rafe says, looping your fingers together. “i’ve already been looking for a ring.”

--

“why are half the people you're inviting to the wedding old as hell?” your friend asks as she helps you sort through wedding invitation envelopes, somehow able to stay blissfully unaware of the fact that you are not just a drug dealer but the most prolific one on the island and are working your way up.

“it’s important now that rafe is restarting cameron developments that we stay on their good side. it’s respectful to invite them.” you explain with a shrug. you never idealized weddings, didn’t really have any grandiose ideas for it, and you never thought you’d feel the excitement about getting married like you feel now that you’re with rafe.

“i guess.” she shrugs. “i just don’t want them to be boring.” “boring?” rafe calls out, entering into the dining room, the entire table covered with envelopes and pieces of paper. “is any party we throw ever boring?” he questions, making your friend shake her head and giggle as rafe presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“how is planning going?” he questions, rubbing his thumbs over your shoulders, glad that you haven’t seem too stressed, trying to manage a wedding along with everything else under your belt.

“really good.” you admit. “although i still haven’t chosen a dress.” “budget is no issue, you know that right?” rafe says. he knows you grew up struggling, which is why you turned towards dealing in the first place, but the money is flowing now, not just from the pills you’ve been pushing towards the upper crust, but from cameron developments getting started again.

“i know.” you sigh, grabbing your binder filled with printed out pictures of wedding dresses you like as inspiration. “i just feel like i want so many different things. i think i might do one dress for the ceremony and another for the reception.”

“you’ll look beautiful no matter what.” rafe says, bending down to press a kiss into your hair, pretending to nuzzle into your side as he whispers. “mr. johnson talked to me at the country club today. his wife has some friends who want the same shit she’s on.”

rafe straightens out, glancing over to your friend to make sure she didn’t hear anything before pressing another kiss to the top of your head. “have fun, ladies.”

--

“mrs. cameron.” rafe says, hands rubbing over the sole of your foot after he took your heels off for you, sat on the edge of the bed in your reception dress.

“husband.” you coo back, eyes fluttering closed, partly from the exhaustion of the party, partly from how good it felt to have rafe rubbing your sore feet.

“wife.” rafe leans forward, kissing your shin before moving upward, head hidden under the skirt of the dress as he pushes your thighs apart. his teeth bite down on your garter before tugging it off, flinging it away before standing, tugging at his tie.

you reach behind yourself to work on undoing your dress as you watch rafe undress, baring his muscles to you. “i almost don’t want you to take the dress off. you look so beautiful.” rafe says as you work the dress off of your shoulders before standing up and letting it drop to the floor.

“mmm, thank you baby.” you press your lips against his, pushing his hands away as you undo his pants and push them down his legs along with his underwear. “you’re gonna have to help me get the bobby pins out of my hair before we go to sleep.” you giggle, hair pinned up with a few face framing curls falling free.

“can i help you out of this lingerie first?” rafe asks, rubbing the white lace covering your skin.

“of course you can, husband.” you use the name again, so glowing from the day that you don’t even think about all the pills you have to distribute, or that cameron developments is acquiring some land next week. it’s just you and rafe in your honeymoon suite.

rafe works his hands carefully over the lingerie, for once being patient and not just ripping it off of you. when you are finally completely bare for him, he helps you lay back on the bed, taking a second to pause and look at you lying there, shiny diamond on your finger.

“you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” rafe says honestly. he’s sure if it wasn’t for you he would still be getting drunk or high every night, and low level dealing at house parties.

“i can’t take all the credit.” you hum. “we make a great team.” “forever and ever.” rafe says, draping himself over your body as his hand laces with yours, feeling your ring against his fingers.

you spread your legs before wrapping them around his waist, raising your hips as your cunt rubs over his length teasingly.

“forever and ever, husband.” you nod to confirm, pressing your lips against rafes as he sinks inside of you.

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @emma77645 @wearemadeofstardust0

[orcasoul]

Joel Miller Headcanons:

Joel When You Defend Him

Warnings: Swearing, violence, fluff.

Joel is always ready to protect those he loves so i thought it about high time he had someone look out for him.

Word Count: 1,694

Joel didn't want to be here tonight but he did it for you. He'd do anything for you, even put up with the exuberant crowd deafening his good ear. On a normal night at the Tipsy Bison, he'd be quietly nursing a glass of whiskey, relaxing in the company of two of the very few people he loves the most; you and Tommy. But tonight isn't a normal night.

A surprise birthday party had been organised on the quiet for one of Jackson's most senior patrol men. Joel knew you'd been itching to go as you hadn't stopped talking about it for the past week, even offering to help with the decorations. Usually he would pass on large gatherings like this, preferring not to draw too much attention and stares from some judgmental arseholes, who'd decided that his relationship with you was inappropriate. A dirty old man taking advantage of a younger woman.

In truth you look far younger than your actual age of 38. Most people assumed you were in your mid to late twenties when you'd arrived in Jackson with Joel and Ellie. After a little while, most people had become more accepting of his relationship with you, especially once it became obvious what you both mean to each other. But there's always a few bad apples in the bunch, who love nothing more than to gossip and judge.

If Joel was being honest with himself, he couldn't give a shit about people's opinions of him. He's not here to impress anyone, and if someone doesn't like him, he won't lose any sleep over it. However, he will not stand for anyone bad mouthing you. He'd be more than happy to rip the tongues out of anyone who dared to disrespect you, and Ellie for that matter. But at the same time, he wouldn't want to cause a scene when you're all trying to assimilate into a community with rules and standards reminiscent of a society long passed.

That's why he'd usually distance himself from most social gatherings, that, and to protect you from any unnecessary tattle. But after you'd all but begged him to come, insisting that you don't care what people might think, how proud you are to be able to call him yours and how much you want to live a normal life with him, including experiencing everything that normal couples do, how could he refuse you? Especially when you use your greatest weapon against him; your big doe eyes! Damn it, you knew just how to break him down.

So that's how he ended up here tonight, much to the astonishment of Tommy and Maria. And Joel had to admit it was worth it, just to see you enjoy yourself. He could bask in your infectious small all night long, his chest filling with warmth and pride at how easily most people have taken to you in your short time here. A group of women your age had pulled you into conversation and as a result you'd spent part of the night bouncing back and forth between them and the table where Joel, Tommy and Maria sat.

But you were never gone too long, seemingly unable to keep yourself away from Joel. That was just the pull you two had on each other, both the moths to each other's flames. Joel had noticed some glares and sneers from a few women at a nearby table, (women who'd tried gaining his favour in the past, and didn't handle the rejection well) while you obliviously snuggled under his arm, planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. But as long as you didn't notice and they kept to themselves, he'd let it go.

"Be right back, handsome," you cooed into Joel's ear before making your way to the group you'd been getting to know. Joel got up a few moments later to get another round in. The music from the jukebox close to the bar and the lively chatter of drunken patrons made it hard, but not impossible for Joel to hear his name being mentioned. Glancing over his shoulder he could see it was the three women who'd been watching him earlier. He turned his good ear to their conversation.

"I can't believe he shamelessly flaunts their... 'relationship'...," a dark haired woman spat the last word out as if it had the worst taste imaginable, "like it's no big deal." "You'd think they'd have the decency to keep their affection behind closed doors," another woman, a redhead scoffed. Joel gripped the edges of the bar, his knuckles turning white. These sour hags were getting dangerously close to crossing a line by referring to you as well. Joel could feel his his anger building, a fragile thread about to snap.

"Let's face it, creeps like him always go for the younger girls because nothing droops yet," a blond woman snarked, which garnered a giggle from the others, "She's probably some dumb, naive airhead with daddy issues. He probably controls her every move, and being a doormat, she probably likes it. I can't even imagine what they'd even talk about. He should try a real woman." The women laugh conspiratorially.

Joel has heard enough. He turns to the table, eyes blazing and fists clenched so tightly he can hear the crack of his knuckles. But before he can take even one step towards them, his brows raise in surprise. Blondie let's out a high pitched shriek as your hand buries itself in her hair, pulling her head back to look directly up at you, her two friends watching in horror.

"Let's get one thing straight...," you seethed, menacingly into Blondie's fear filled eyes, "Our relationship and what we talk about is none of your fucking business. I'm sick of bitter bitches like you...' you fix her friends with an icy stare, "judging us and painting Joel as some kind of pervert. You sheltered pussys have no idea what we went through to get here, and the last thing Joel needs or deserves is hate. He defends this settlement and this is how your repay him?! You three don't deserve to breathe the same air as him!"

Joel is frozen to the spot, mouth agape. A meteorite couldn't move him right now. He hasn't seen you this angry since you'd learned what the Fireflies had planned to do with Ellie, that same murderous look darkening your eyes, now reignited for him. No one has ever defended him with such ferocity before. He's not sure if he's even worth such love and devotion. A strange new feeling washes over him like a warm blanket, and he likes it.

He knows how much you love him, never doubted it for a second, and now watching you defend his honour, looking ready to kill this bitch for him, leaves him in awe of you. For the first time in... god knows how long, Joel feels important, significant. He never realised he could mean that much to someone. God, he loves you! He would burn the world to ashes for you, just like you would for him. A gratifying smirk dances across his face as he takes in, not just the shocked faces of the trio, but also the stunned expressions of those within the vicinity.

Clearly, everyone here had underestimated you, but they won't after tonight. His feisty, fearless, loyal girl! Joel is bursting with pride at your resolve and tenacity. Blondie begs for release while grabbing your fist full of hair. "Please, I'm sorry! You're ripping my hair out!" You tug back further, tightening your grip even more, just to make it clear who has the upper hand here. Lowering your head beside hers, you growl, "Let this be a warning to all of you; if you breathe one more bad word about him, hair loss will be the fucking least of your worries!"

And with that you yank out a clump of hair, just for good measure, as you finally release your hold, causing Blondie to yelp in pain. You purposefully walk over to Joel, softness shining behind your eyes again and gently lace your fingers with his. "Come on, let's get out of here, honey" you whisper tenderly, a juxtaposition to the fury lacing your words only moments ago. Still reeling from your impressive and, quite frankly, arousing display, Joel follows you outside, wordlessly, but not before throwing a glance over his shoulder to see Maria with her jaw on the floor and Tommy trying and failing to suppress an amused grin.

Once outside, Joel stops as you turn to face him. "I'm so sorry Joel. You didn't deserve that," you say shaking your head and looking to the ground. "What are you apologising for?" Joel asked, incredulously. "This wasn't your fault." "It is...," you insist, vehemently, "I made you come tonight. I know you stay home a lot cause of what people say about you and it was wrong of me to force you to-"

"Darling..." Joel tilts your chin up until your eyes meet his, "I couldn't care less what they say about me. It's you I was worried about. I only stayed away to protect you, but I was wrong to do that. Fuck them! I was about to fill their worthless mouths for them, but you beat me to it...," Joel slaps his hands to your arse, pulling you flush to his body, drawing a delighted gasp from you as he presses his growing erection into your belly, "and it was the hottest fucking thing, seeing you stand up for me like that."

Joel watches as you bite your lower lip, knowing exactly how this night is going to end. "Hmm...," you sigh, seductively, hands slowly travelling the broad muscles of his chest. "liked that did you?" Your tongue flicks out, barely brushing his plush lips. "What do you think!" Joel growled lowly, pressing his length against you even harder. "Then take me home and show me just how much you liked it." Joel chuckled darkly as he bent down and threw you over his shoulder, power walking to your shared home. Tonight, you are in for a treat!

[anna-hawk]

Hidden

Frank Castle x F!Reader

Summary: Frank is attending a party he was invited to by Karen and comes across you in a secluded room where the both of you retreated into to get away from the crowd. He's met you before, since you're Karen's friend, but you've barely spoken to each other. The only things he knows about you is that you used to work with Karen, and that you also seem to be attracted to him. A third person coming into the dark room you're hiding inside shows Frank just how much his presence affects you.

Rating: Explicit 🔞 // WC: 3,7k Tags and Warnings: PWP, dom/sub undertones, slightly mean Frank but Reader is down for it, fingerfucking, oral (m!receiving) A/N: I started writing this a few months ago but fell out of the mind space and picked it up the other day again. Maybe Frank reads a little OOC, but I felt like writing him with a slightly mean dom vibe.

Read it on AO3

Moving into a corner as light and loud music suddenly pooled in through the opening door, Frank's eyes lifted to check on who'd come into the dark room he had retreated into earlier tonight. Hidden in the shadows that the thick curtains of the balcony doors were casting, Frank was able to make out your silhouette without you noticing him in return. He watched as you peeked inside the room before you looked back into the corridor to finally enter the room and close the door behind you with an audible sigh of relief. Now, it was only the full moon and the dim light of the outside lamps shining through the balcony doors that illuminated you enough for him to see you move farther inside and take a seat on the large couch. He quietly observed you as you took a deep breath and leaned your head back. Frank didn't know a lot about you besides that Karen used to work with you at the Bulletin. You and Frank had met on a few occasions, mostly during evenings like tonight, when Karen would invite Frank to a party the press was invited to as well, suspecting that he could garner information on some people. You'd also run into each other at Karen's place a couple of times whenever Frank randomly showed up while she had friends over. He never stayed long on those evenings, no matter how often Karen encouraged him to, feeling too awkward to be around that many people he didn’t know. The few instances he'd stayed longer had been when Murdock had been there as well, and he and Frank had started arguing after a short while under your bemused and Nelson's exasperated expressions. 

You hadn't talked to each other a lot except for a greeting and a few short words, but then you seemed to be a relatively quiet person. Which surprised Frank, since it contrasted starkly with your job's description as a reporter. Not that Frank minded that. Whenever his gaze would fall on you, at Karen's or during parties like tonight, Frank noticed that your eyes were never still, always taking everything in. He guessed that this was your work method; less talk, more observation. He definitely liked that. 

“It becomes a lot after a while, huh?” Frank said, after a long minute of watching you slowly relax. Because he knew with certainty that you'd escaped the crowd for the same reason he had. You might be a reporter, but you didn't seem to enjoy too big of a crowd.

You gasped in surprise and sprang to your feet at the sound of his voice, your face moving towards the direction he was standing in. Frank walked into the light and felt glad to see you take a breath of relief after recognizing him. Frank knew that you were fully aware of who he was and what he did, but you never showed any fear or nervousness in his presence. A slight shyness and awkwardness, sure, but Frank had suspected for a while that you might be attracted to him and that this might be the reason behind your behavior around him.

“I'll leave,” Frank suggested with a faint smile. “You can stay and-” he continued, but you took a step forward, a hand outstretched toward him in a stopping motion. 

“No! No, it's fine — I — please stay.” You joined him at the balcony doors and looked at the New Yorker skyline. You sighed after a few seconds. “Yeah, it does become a lot,” you added, answering his earlier question.

Frank only nodded and watched you out of the corner of his eyes. The dress you were wearing tonight really looked good on you. 

“What kind of money do you gotta have to have two big living rooms?” you mumbled into the silence, which seemed to make you uncomfortable, as Frank noticed you playing with the hem of your dress. Frank tilted his head at your question and shrugged before replying. 

“Too much.”

The surprised laugh his answer got out of you had Frank’s lips pulling up to one side. 

“I guess you’re right,” you conceded with a chuckle this time. 

The silence stretched on for a while longer this time, but you seemed more comfortable now. Frank’s eyes, meanwhile, couldn’t stop straying to your face and body. While he’d considered you to be an attractive woman from the start, he’d never had the opportunity to really watch you from that close up. He quickly realized that he’d been missing out. 

“What?” you suddenly whispered, ducking your head before glancing at Frank furtively. 

There was enough light coming through the window for Frank to make out your flustered expression. It seemed like Frank hadn’t been as discreet as he’d thought while watching you. Or, your senses were keen enough to pick up on small details. Frank laughed through his nose and tilted his head towards you as he put his hands into the pockets of his pants. 

“You look real pretty tonight.” He shrugged, and felt something tug at his gut at the way your eyes widened briefly in surprise before you looked forward again. 

“Thank you,” you mumbled softly, as your fingers fidgeted where you were holding them clasped together in front of you. 

Frank’s eyes zeroed in on your mouth as you lightly bit over your bottom lip, only to look away from you forcefully as he felt something stir in his groin. You were so incredibly bashful about the compliment that Frank felt the urge to say something more to see how you’d react this time. Especially since you clearly were attracted to him, as he’d suspected. How would you react if he were to come closer? Speak right into your ear. 

He didn’t move or say anything, however, since he didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable by doing or saying too much at once, no matter if the attraction was mutual. 

However, that idea flew out the proverbial window as the door to the room opened again, and someone stumbled inside. You turned in the person’s direction, only to take a few steps back, as if unwilling to be found, until you collided with Frank’s chest. 

“Shh,” Frank softly hissed into your ear, as he pulled you back from the window and into a short and narrow passage leading to a small bathroom. 

Frank pushed you against the wall and stepped in front of you as he leaned towards the edge of the wall to watch what the person was doing. From the sounds of it, the man, Frank realized, was pretty drunk and looking for something as he mumbled about the lack of light. A second later, the whole room was bathed in bright light as the man hit the light switch. It was only your secluded spot that kept you hidden from the man’s view. As Frank moved back to face you, the words he’d been about to say died on his tongue as he caught sight of you. He could see you fully now, despite the shadows the small passage was casting over the two of you, and your expression took Frank’s will to not make a move on you away entirely. Your eyes, stuck on Frank’s face, were blown dark, while your parted lips were shiny and a deeper color from normal thanks to your repeated abuse on them. Your chest was rapidly moving up and down with your heavy breaths, and the sight of your hard nipples hidden underneath the light fabric of your dress had Frank’s dick coming to life. 

“You make it really hard for me not to touch you, you know,” Frank muttered darkly, his fingers twitching in the pockets of his pants. 

Your eyes widened, and your mouth opened further on a little gasp of surprise, which Frank was only able to hear over the music coming through the open door because he was standing so close to you. Frank slowly let his eyes trail over you, noticing the full-body shiver running through you at his perusal. He hadn’t even touched you yet, and you were already responding to him as if he had. Heat coursed down his spine at your reaction. It had been a long time since he’d found someone who so unmistakably wanted him. He took a steadying breath. He wanted to see how else he could make you react. 

“What’s turnin’ you on like that, huh?” He started conversationally, taking one of his hands from a pocket to trail a finger along the column of your throat, which had your head tilting to the side as your eyes blinked repeatedly. “The hidden spot?” He continued, drawing the finger over the swell of your breasts peaking out of the dress, making him feel the quick rise and fall of your chest. His nostrils flared as your chest instinctively moved forward into his touch. “Or do you like the idea of gettin’ caught?” He met your gaze as he spoke the words and simultaneously stroked a thumb over one of your nipples. 

Your eyes widened again, and you shook your head vehemently, while also moaning softly at his caress. This time, Frank lightly pinched your nipple and smirked as you gasped, but never pulled away from his touch. Using both hands now, Frank tugged at the soft material over your chest and pulled it down, revealing your breasts to him, your nipples hard and skin pebbled in goose flesh. He hummed contentedly and glanced back at you.

“You sure?” he teased, running his thumbnails around both your nipples before pinching and tugging at them. 

One of your hands flew to your mouth to stop the long moan of pleasure from becoming too loud. Frank chuckled lightly and drew your hand away from your face and placed it back against the wall at your side, where you’d kept both hands until now. 

“Frank,” you whispered in a tone that hinted at need and panic all at once, as he started a slow process of torturing your nipples again.

All the while, the drunk man kept looking around for something, the music too loud to tell what it was. It didn’t matter since he stayed at the other end of the room and Frank was too focused on you anyway. You kept biting at your lips as Frank worked his fingers over your breasts, fighting to stay as quiet as possible while breathing Frank’s name here and there. 

“You have no idea how fuckin’ pretty you look like this,” Frank stated in a gravely but steady voice, flicking at a nipple and enjoying the sound of your cut-off cry. 

He huffed out a fond laugh as you looked away at the praise but saw you squirming and pressing your legs together. Without another word, Frank leaned down to take one of your puffy nipples into his mouth and sucked on it with relish. 

“Frank,” you keened in a soft but still high-pitched voice, your head hitting the wall as you threw it back while thrusting your chest into his face. 

Frank groaned into your skin, biting and sucking alternatively at your flesh and feeling your legs tremble. In his stooped position, he reached the hem of your dress and slid a hand along the edge of your inner thighs. You moaned over him, and your legs immediately parted for his searching hand. His length pulsed in his pants as he reached your panties, finding them warm and soaked through with your juices. Pulling away from your chest, Frank stared at your face again, needing to see your expression as he slid his hand inside your panties from the top and stroked two fingers through your wet folds. You looked back at him with wild eyes, your lips parting as you moaned softly. Between your breasts being on full display, swollen and mouthwatering from his touch, and your shiny and bitten lips emitting panting breaths, it was ultimately the pleading in your eyes, the raw need in them that had him moving. He pressed his other hand against the wall beside your head as he slid two fingers inside you, only stopping when he couldn’t go any further. This time, both of your hands came up to muffle your scream of pleasure. He didn’t stop you, though, knowing that it would be impossible to stop your cries of ecstasy from reaching the drunk man’s ears without your hands. Frank felt a shot of smugness at that knowledge, his own arousal only getting stronger from watching you struggle to keep quiet while your burning eyes never looked away from his as Frank fucked you relentlessly. 

“Look at you, takin’ my fingers so well,” Frank rumbled in the short space between you, wanting to see your reaction to more praise. “Suckin’ them in and squeezin’ ‘round them. Bein’ so good for me.”

Sure enough, your lids quivered, and you broke eye contact while also tightening your walls even more around Frank’s fingers. 

“Shit, yeah, jus’ like that. Bet you’d feel so fuckin’ good ‘round my dick.” 

Frank smirked at your keen of pleasure and picked up the speed of his hand. One of your hands shot out to grab at his shirt, your fingers tightening and twisting in the fabric as you fought to keep your moans from spilling over your other hand. It was the first time you’d touched him, and the fact that you needed to anchor yourself to him to not lose it completely had Frank growling in satisfaction. He grinned wickedly as your eyes almost rolled back into your head as he crooked his fingers to apply more pressure right where you needed it. 

“Gettin’ close, hm?” he rumbled against your ear, drinking in your little sounds of desperation. “Wanna hear it, Sweetheart. Lemme hear how you come on my fingers.” 

Your eyes grew wide and panicked at his command, but your hand still fell to the side. Your eyes met Frank’s as you began to tremble, your channel spasming around his fingers as you started to come undone in front of him. Thankfully for you, a loud bout of clapping and celebratory shouts sounded through the whole loft as you cried out your pleasure, making it only audible for Frank, which he was more than happy with. 

Your eyes drooped, and your hand lost its grip on Frank’s shirt as you sagged against the wall with labored breaths. Slowly, Frank removed his hand from your panties and brought it to his face. His fingers and most of his hand were glistening with your essence. He groaned in delight at the first swipe of his tongue over his middle finger, which had your eyes snapping open. Disbelief and arousal shone in your eyes as you watched, mesmerized, how Frank sucked his fingers clean. 

“Good girl,” he praised with a satisfied hum once he was done with licking all traces of you off his fingers. And like before, while you’d just watched him licking up your juices without looking away once, it was the praise that had your eyes closing briefly and your expression turning shy again. 

Frank took a step away from you, giving him a complete view of your bare chest and rumpled dress. What a beautiful mess. His head tilted to the side with a curious smirk as your eyes dropped to his crotch, where the hard outline of his dick was prominent. At his low chuckle, your eyes shot to his again, before you looked away, embarrassed at being caught staring. 

“Somethin’ on your mind, Sweetheart?” He rasped, as he came closer again at the sight of you biting your bottom lip. 

Wide eyes stared back at him, and your tongue licked over your lower lip in a clearly unconscious movement. Just that sight had Frank's cock jerking behind the confines of his boxers and pants, knowing that you couldn't hide what you really wanted. He’d planned to stop there and send you on your way, but the way you kept responding to him, leaning toward him without noticing that you were doing it, had Frank changing his mind once again tonight. 

“Yeah?” He whispered roughly, tugging your lip down and sliding his thumb over the soft and wet skin. “Want me to fuck that pretty mouth?” 

Your sharp intake of breath as his words hit its mark had Frank almost reaching for his fly right then, but he took in a deep breath and leaned in to speak into your ear. 

“Then be a good girl and ask for it.” 

And fuck, that soft, pleading whine you uttered. The way you reacted to Frank was just… Hearing you beg for what you wanted while looking so damn shy was driving Frank wild with lust.

“P — please,” you got out through your labored breathing. 

Frank licked his lips and grinned, wanting to push you just that little further.

“Please what?”

You turned your head away from him and panted, expression torn between arousal and embarrassment. 

“Frank, please.”

“Hm?” Frank nosed along your neck, which had you gasping again. 

“Please … fuck my mouth,” you whispered, the words almost inaudible over the noise. 

That wouldn’t do. 

“Louder,” Frank said, his voice, which had remained mostly teasing, taking on a tone that brooked no argument. 

Frank felt you tremble against him, but he knew that it wasn’t from fear. Far from it. Leaning back just enough to be able to lock eyes with you, Frank saw your lips move quietly for a moment before you spoke again. 

“Please fuck my mouth, Frank,” you repeated, the words louder, although they remained low. You weren’t done, though. “I need it.” 

Frank grinned at your words, while his dick almost hurt with the need to be let out of its confines. “Attagirl,” he rumbled, stroking a thumb over your bottom lip before he took a small step back. 

Without further prompting, you fell to your knees and eagerly reached for his fly. Frank watched you opening his pants and lowering his boxers to let his erection spring free. You were both momentarily distracted as the drunk man finally found what he’d been looking for with a shout of satisfaction and exited the room before slamming the door. To Frank's delight, the man forgot to turn off the light, leaving Frank able to keep watching you in your half naked state. He saw your whole body relax at the knowledge that you were finally alone. A second later, you wrapped your fingers around his length and took him into your mouth without hesitation. Frank hissed as you didn’t waist any time with quick licks and small movements to find out what Frank liked. Instead, you made sure to slick the whole length with your saliva before you took him as far as you could. Frank growled at the sight of your stretched lips, trying to accommodate his size. 

“So fuckin’ eager for this,” Frank grunted in approval, but grabbed you by the back of the head and tilted it back to still your movements. 

With your eyes on his, you understood what he wanted and let your mouth fall open for Frank to push inside. Testing how far he could go, Frank pushed in to the back of your throat in a slow glide. You gagged faintly on the second pass, but you only surged forward for more. Frank cursed and snapped his hips forward, which had you moaning and him chuckling in satisfaction at your reaction. Now that it was only the two of you, you didn’t hesitate anymore, and openly moaned and keened around his cock with each of his slides in. Frank kept his hand on your head, but he wasn’t holding you in place at all. You weren’t going anywhere, more than content to pleasure him. 

“Frank?” suddenly called a voice from the corridor leading down to the room. You seemed to recognize Karen’s voice at the same time as Frank, since your eyes grew wide as Frank thrust into your mouth again. 

“We ain’t stoppin’ now,” Frank stated firmly, as his cock twitched with a fast approaching orgasm, while his hand tightened on your head. 

You moaned and choked briefly as Frank slid as far inside as you could take, your eyes conveying how turned on you were while also showing a hint of panic. Like earlier, it was the need in your eyes that pushed Frank’s buttons. He slid out of your mouth and started jerking himself off with quick strokes. 

“Fuck,” he growled as you shuffled closer again to press your tongue against the underside of his cock, telling him exactly was you wanted. 

He came with a tight groan as he shot all over your tongue, coating it with his thick and warm fluid. You closed your eyes as you moaned at the taste, letting Frank slide back between your lips for a lazy thrust. 

“Frank?” Karen called out again, her voice coming through the opening door just as you were swallowing Frank’s come. 

You stood instantly, tugging your dress back up with a frantic look on your face. Frank pressed you against the wall while he slotted a palm over your mouth. Footsteps sounded from the door and Frank felt more than heard your gasp. 

“Right here, Karen,” Frank replied with an easy tone that belied just how hard he’d just come. “Be out in a sec.” 

“Oh, sure.” The footsteps stopped before they retreated a few paces. 

Letting go of you, Frank quietly opened the door to the bathroom and reached for the faucet to open it, giving the illusion that he was just coming out of the room. 

“Oh, by the way, you haven’t seen my friend from the Bulletin?”

Glancing back at your surprised expression as you were fixing your appearance, Frank made a thoughtful sound before he answered. 

“The pretty one?” Frank wondered with a grin as your eyes widened before you looked away, shyness returning, much to Frank's enjoyment.

Karen snorted at that. “Yup, the one you keep watching from afar.” 

Your eyes snapped back to meet Frank’s equally surprised gaze. Karen really did see everything. Chuckling lightly, Frank leaned in to graze his lips over yours in a brief caress before he stepped around the wall and towards Karen, who was waiting at the door. 

“Nope, haven’t seen her.”

[just-jordie-things]

PLSS DO prompt 3 and 26 with Megumi 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

my favs yes. yes. yes. also threw in 53 :3 3: Drunk/Sloppy Kiss 26: Jealous Kiss 53: Against A Wall Kiss

**aged up characters!!** ___

megumi didn't get jealous, to make one thing perfectly clear. it was a silly insecurity that he had no business to feel. especially seeing as you weren't his to be jealous of. you were your own person, you could talk to, flirt with, hang out with whoever you so pleased.

what was he supposed to do? walk over to where you were talking to one of yuuji's friends, tell you that you weren't allowed to talk to him, and whisk you off to ensure that for the rest of the night, your attention would be on him and only him? that was pathetic. no, worse, that was toxic.

but from his spot on the couch, he could see clearly through the crowd of people at this lame house party that you actually seemed... happy. whoever this guy was, you seemed to be enjoying yourself. smiling, laughing, leaning in close to hear what he had to say when the music got a little too loud. he took a swig of his drink, barely even wincing as the bitter liquid went down. he wasn't normally a drinker, he usually only came to these things because you asked him too.

(yuuji and nobara did too, but it was only when you'd latch onto his arm and tell him how much fun he'd have. you'd give him your best pouting face and it was actually quite terrible but he was so amused by it and so enamored by you that he'd give into anything you asked)

and now here he was, with a nearly passed out yuuji on the sofa behind him, nobara was off dancing with a bunch of strangers, and you were chatting with this... guy.

"hey," megumi gently prodded the side of yuuji's head until the boy's eyes fluttered, displaying at least a little consciousness. "who's that guy?"

"heh?" yuuji squinted one eye open, keeping the other closed for some semblance of darkness to sleep through.

the party was in full swing, with flashing colors from the led strips all around the house, the music blasting was heavy in bass, and anyone talking had to holler to hear one another. and yet, yuuji cursed megumi for disturbing his rest.

"that guy," megumi repeats, nodding his head to where you were. "who is that?"

"talking to (y/n/n)?" yuuji rubbed the back of his head as he tried to focus his vision on you. "woah, she likes him, huh?" he let out a whistle as he watched the way your body language said more than he needed to know.

megumi's teeth grit as he glared back at his friend.

"that's todd. or tom. might be tom. thomas sounds right," yuuji struggled to put a name to the guy's face, and shrugs his shoulders. "think we had a couple classes together. don't remember him much. think he was nice though"

"you think he was nice?" megumi's brows furrow in displeasure. he casts another glance towards you.

this time, you catch his gaze, and you send him a beam as your eyes meet, but the moment is short lived, as you're turning back to todd or tom.

"i dunno," yuuji yawned, stretching his arms about his head as he settled back into the couch cushion. "(y/n/n's) fine though. so if you're so jealous, you should probably just do something about it"

" 's not like that" megumi mumbles, deciding to turn around and face forward on the sofa so he didn't have to watch you flirt and be flirted with any longer.

"i think it's kinda like that" yuuji's head rolls to it's side so he can give his friend a look.

megumi frowns, but doesn't say anything else on the matter. he'd like to go home now, but he can't ditch any of you. so he figures it's a night of pouting on this couch with only alcohol to soothe him.

yuuji's head falls to his shoulder, and his soft snoring is audible.

alcohol and yuuji, he corrects himself mentally.

before he can get too lost in his bitter thoughts, a pair of hands plant themselves on his shoulders from behind, and he tilts his head back to see none other than you leaning over the back of the couch, grinning down at him.

"want me to save you?" you tease, eyes flickering over to the sleeping yuuji.

megumi smiles at how you even look pretty when he's looking at you upside down.

"please" he replies, and you sound the couch, only to gab him by the arm and insist he follow you.

"good, cause i missed you. i wondered where you went" you told him as he carefully got up in the hopes of not waking up your sleeping friend. you both chuckle as yuuji seemingly has no issue staying asleep.

you have a drink in one hand and the other is wrapped around megumi's elbow in order to keep him close while you guide him through the crowded house.

"what was this party for again?" megumi asks, tossing his empty cup into a trash as you walked past. there were countless cups among the mess of the floors already, but he just couldn't bring himself to abandon his trash like that, even if he was intoxicated.

"i think it was someone's birthday," you ponder as you pull him into the kitchen so you can both make a fresh drink. "originally, anyways," you continue as you shovel ice into two cups. "but word got around it was at a big house, someone said they could get booze, and now here we are"

you loosely gesture to the crowded, trashed space around you. talk about crashing a party, megumi thinks. he can smell the tobacco and pot in the air, and judging by all the trash on the ground, whosever birthday it was, would surely have one hell of a morning tomorrow.

when he looks back at you, you hand him one of the cups with a sweet smile, before taking the other for yourself.

"are you having a good time?" you ask, leaning your back into the counter as you take a tentative sip of your drink. it might've been a little stronger than your last, but you could use some liquid courage.

"yeah, one friend passed out on me and the others ditched me to go find hookups" megumi replied honestly.

you gape at him in mock offense.

"i did not go looking for a hookup!" you argue, smacking your free hand against his chest. "what made you think that?"

"i dunno, probably that guy you were flirting with" he replies. he's smirking at you partially because a blush is starting to bloom across your cheeks, but his lip twitches with some other emotion you don't recognize on him.

"ted?" you laugh, and megumi's brow furrows.

"so you admit to flirting with him?" he asks, raising his cup to take a long drink.

"i admit to no such thing!" you laugh at him while you shake your head. "i was friends with his sister in grade school, he was telling me about how she's studying abroad in france right now," you explain, before raising a brow at him. "not that i owe you an explanation," you add, leaning in closer to him and tilting your head. "but if you're so jealous you must know, that is all we talked about"

"tch," the alcohol in his system was strong enough that it gave him the confidence to hold your stare. "so he was flirting with you then?"

you pause for a moment, unsure of what to tell him. truthfully? yeah, ted tried to lay some lines on you. did you respond to it? no, but he wasn't a creep, and you didn't really care.

"maybe" you shrug a shoulder, your eyes locked on his, trying to read the odd expression he wore.

megumi had never shown any signs of jealousy. he'd never said anything to you to make you think it would bother him if you were flirting with anyone. and you did find it a little funny, because he was so irritated and reserved all the time that you didn't think he could feel pesky things like jealousy.

but on the other hand... it excited you.

megumi was clearly annoyed that you were giving your attention to that guy, and whatever his reasoning was, it had your heart racing with anticipation to figure it out.

"but it's a party," you speak again. "a lot of people come here just to flirt and find a hookup"

"that so?" megumi raises a brow at you.

so with a puff of your chest and a bright smile, you nod back at him.

"it is," you confirm. "in fact i think i'll go chat with him some more" you declare, and megumi rolls his eyes, calling your bluff.

but sure enough you're heading off towards ted again, a saunter in your hips and a gleam in your eye as you approach him. megumi stands in the kitchen, his hand tense around his drink, keeping a watchful glare on the two of you.

he can't hear what's being said, but he can read body language pretty well. so once you're giggling and laying your hand on ted's arm, he's decided he's had enough of the little charade.

next thing he knows he's throwing back the rest of his drink and stalking over to the both of you.

upon his approach you give him a pretty smile, but ted completely pales as he watches the taller, angry looking boy come to stand behind you, his hand wrapping around your hip and pulling you into him in one fluid motion.

"megumi!" you cheer as though you hadn't seen him all night. your eyes hadn't left him since he'd approached you, but he didn't notice. his eyes were too focused on ted.

he bore no expression, but somehow it was worse than a nasty glare. ted winced at your new company.

"megumi, this is ted," you introduce, pretending to ignore the awkward tension that had just been created. "ted, megumi" you finish, gesturing between them.

"uh, hi-" ted sticks his hand out in an attempt to be polite, or maybe just to diffuse the tension, but megumi's pulling you away without a word, leaving the man standing alone with his hand still outstretched.

his stride is fast as he practically drags you alongside him. you're not sure where he's taking you, but you don't protest in the slightest as you follow along.

"well i thought he was nice" you remark, a coy smile curling on your lips.

"you're being ridiculous," megumi mutters, finally stopping you both in a hallway that wasn't as crowded as the rest of the house, so you could at least hear each other speak. "is that why you wanted me to come? so you could walk around and- and-"

"make you jealous?"

you lean back against the wall, folding your hands behind your back as you grin up at him.

"i'm not jealous" megumi rolls his eyes.

"you dragged me off like you were jealous" you shrug nonchalantly.

"well i wasn't"

"and if he gave me his number?" you tested, tilting your head at him challengingly. "would you still not be jealous?"

"he didn't" megumi replies as casually as he could.

"but if he had?" you ask, leaning on the tips of your toes to be closer to him, just to make your point. you watch as his eyes flicker between your own, then down to your lips, then back to your eyes.

he turns to look away, but just to his luck, there's ted, standing just across the room, and his eyes are perfectly glued to you. that is, until they see megumi's caught him red handed, and suddenly he's interested in the floorboards.

megumi scoffs, shaking his head, before looking back down to you.

you're still trying to be a tease, and he's about had enough of this whole party.

his hands are firm as he places them against the wall on either side of your head, leaning over you and caging you in quickly, just to make his point.

your eyes are wide now as you watch him, curious to see what he'd do next, your heart racing in your chest.

"he's still watching you," he mutters, lowly, and with more bitterness than you've ever heard him speak with before. your brows crinkle, starting to feel just a little bad for upsetting megumi this much.

you thought it'd be fun to mess with him just a little, maybe in the hopes of getting him to flirt with you a little bit, but you'd never imagined he'd react like this.

"you're here with me, and he's still got his eyes on you"

you offer him a small smile at his words, and then you're reaching out to him, your arms hanging loosely over his shoulders, before you bring your hands into his hair. your movements are slow as you begin to curl an unruly strand of hair around your fingers.

you draw closer to him, so close your nose almost collides with his, and your breathing is a little shaky against his lips before you speak.

"and i'm here with you" you repeat his words back to him softly.

megumi's eyes flicker between yours wildly, as this was completely new territory for the two of you. in a huff, he turns his head to see if your shadow is still lingering across the room, but you're quick to take hold of his chin between your thumb and forefinger, turning his attention back to you.

he licks his lips nervously.

once you're the center of his focus again, a small smile lifts on your lips, before you're tilting forward and capturing his lips in a soft kiss.

it's quick, over just as soon as it began, but it leaves him bewildered, wide eyed as you pull away and stand flat again. only a second passes before he's seizing forward to kiss you again, his hands coming off the wall to hold the back of your head, fingers tangling into your hair as your lips meet his passionately, and a bit drunkenly.

you forget your surroundings completely as you pull him against you until your back is against the wall and he's completely pressed into you. still, you continue to tug and pull him closer as your lips map each other out sloppily. you're panting in between them, both of your hands flying about, wanting to touch and grab at every part of each other you could reach.

had you been sober, you would have been so embarrassed by this public display, but the thought doesn't even cross your mind. in fact, you hum in utter delight as megumi eventually wraps his hands under your thighs, and lifts you against the wall so that you were at an even height with him, making it easier to kiss you. ithe house may have been stuffy, but his body is hot against yours in a way you enjoy just a little too much.

"i didn't know you got so jealous," you sigh out while megumi unashamedly begins to kiss down the column of your throat. "we should-" you're cut off by your own lack of your breath as his mouth works delicately over the full explains of your throat. "we should go to parties more often"

"absolutely fucking not" megumi mutters into your skin, but he seems to relax again as you comb your hands into his hair, tilting his head back and admiring how swollen his lips look.

you smile at him lazily before you're drawn together like a magnet and your lips are crashing together again. your hands are moving so wildly through his hair it's somehow more messed up than normal, and you both delight in the feeling.

"oh shit," a familiar voice snaps you both out of your lust-blinded haze, and you release megumi's bottom lip from your teeth with an audible pop! as you both turn to see nobara standing (well, staggering) before you.

she let's out a giggle of amusement, her eyes crinkling and her grin drunken.

"i didn't know you guys were together?" her words are slurred, but she doesn't seem all that shocked, or weirded out to catch her friends furiously making out with each other.

"uh... surprise?" you say weakly, adjusting one of your legs around megumi's hip to get more comfortable.

nobara nods, and gives you wobbly thumbs up.

"yuuji's asleep on the lawn," she tells you the reason she'd come looking for you both. "i'm gettin' us water and snacks for the walk back. meet out there in ten?"

"uh," megumi blinks rapidly to try and clear his mind enough to understand the new information and plan. "yeah, yeah that's fine"

"a'ight, see you out there lovebirds" nobara clicks her tongue and then disappears in search of the sustenance.

you and megumi turn back to each other, frozen for a moment before breaking out into grins and laughter.

"so, ten more minutes?" you suggest.

"yep"

his grip under your legs tightens as your lips meet again, this time even more hurried than the last, since you had a passed out friend to carry home soon. ___

xoxo ~ jordie

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

Summary: You're suffering from some temporary memory loss and you can only remember your relationship with Steve, forgetting your currently relationship with poor Bucky.

Word Count: 5.7k

Warnings: memory loss, mild angst, fluff, engagement rings

MASTERLIST

Tabula Rasa

Once again you found yourself walking up to a hard white ceiling with no recollection of how you got into the sterile hospital bed. Your vision was a little hazy and the only thing you could make clearly was a pair of dazzling blue eyes. 

“Steve?” you groaned.

Bucky frowned, clutching your hand more tightly than he was before, almost to the point of being painful. Only when you winced and tried to tug it away did he ease his grip on your digits.

“Shhh, Ace, it's okay. You're going to be fine.” Bucky tried to soothe you, trying to ignore that you had just called out for this best friend.

“Thanks Steve,” you mumbled, closing your eyes.

Bucky glanced over at his best friend who was standing nervously at the edge of the room. Steve looked back in surprise and confusion. 

“How you feeling, Ace?” Steve asked.

His familiar voice coming from a different location than you'd expected made you open your eyes again, looking for the source of the person who had first spoken. Your gaze found Bucky’s, who smiled down at you softly, greeting you with a gentle ‘hey’.

What Bucky didn't expect was for you to meet his eyes with furrowed brows and a hint of worry, and maybe fear? You looked around and found Steve, directing your question at him. 

“What happened?” you asked.

You looked so intently at Steve that Bucky wanted to reach over and turn your face back to him. He was about to explain when you pulled your hand slowly out of his grasp, giving him a small grateful smile. Your actions, the way you wiggled your fingers and made a small fist slowly told him you felt uncomfortable by his closeness. And as much as it broke his heart, he rose from his chair and backed off.

“Steve?” You called again in a small voice.

Bucky could tell you were afraid, he knew from the intonation in your voice, the way your eyes darted around.

“Hey, it's okay.” Bucky couldn't help himself, he hated seeing you look so helpless. “You got knocked out, but the doctors said no signs of permanent damage.”

Bucky's gentleness was dumbfounding and was enough to keep your attention on him for a couple of seconds, at least.  “Thank you,” you said kindly before turning back to Steve. “Why are you standing over there?”

“I… didn't want to crowd you.”

Steve stepped forwards into the harsh light of the hospital room, making your jaw drop in the subtlest of ways, a tiny gasp escaping your lips. You hadn't expected a clean shaven Steve looking far blonder than you remembered him having.

“What happened? How long was I unconscious?” You sat up gingerly, shaking off Bucky's helping hand and missing his pained expression. 

“Not long.”

“Enough time for you to shave and dye your hair.”

“Dye my-” It was Steve's turn to look over at Bucky with a frown.

“Ace, what do you remember?” Bucky asked, scowling at the lack of attention he was getting from you

You blushed before answering looking at Steve. “We went to see the baseball at Citifield.” You bit your lip, smiling at the memory before continuing. “Obviously some stuff has happened since then. And I appreciate your concern, Bucky.”

You smiled at him, but Bucky knew if was your way of telling him he was no longer needed. It was Steve you wanted, not him. He didn't need a doctor to tell him what was wrong with you. Amnesia. You had forgotten everything the two of you had shared.

He felt like his world was spinning and he wanted to throw up. Not that his body responded to signals like this anymore. He stumbled backwards, knocking over the chair and fleeing from the room. Too consumed with his own feelings that he didn't notice the concern on yours or Steve's faces. If you had been in any danger, he wouldn't have left your side, he told himself as he strode away. But the crushing feeling in his chest had become unbearable as you looked at him with a gaze of mere acquaintanceship. Gone was the knowing glint he saw when he looked in your eyes, gone was the comradery you shared, gone was the passion he ignited in you and gone was the intimacy you'd achieved.

“Right, I'm still feeling pretty clueless about what has happened, but I feel like you need to follow him,” you said to Steve, pointing after Bucky's fleeing form. 

“Yeah, I know,” Steve sighed, having reached the same conclusion as Bucky had about your state. “Will you be alright?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “go.” You encouraged him to go after Bucky, not quite understanding the surprising level of concern you felt about the former HYDRA agent's wellbeing.

“Bucky!” Steve sprinted after his best friend, calling his name.

Only Bucky couldn't hear him, lost in his own mind of fear and dejection. His constantly doubting mind told him he didn't deserve the love you had given him. That he shouldn't be surprised, it was only a matter of time until the happiness he had was taken away from him, he had stolen a life he didn't deserve and karma was here to take it all back.

It was only Steve's firm hand on his shoulder that stopped him. 

“Buck!” Steve gasped. Out of breath, not from the exertion but the anxiety he felt for his friend. “Bucky, where are you going?”

“We both know what's going on, Steve. I'm going to go and sort out everything at home, so she's comfortable when they discharge her. Is that okay with you?” His last question was more sardonic than he had intended.

“Buck…” Steve sighed.

“Look,” Bucky paused, contemplating what to say. He didn't want to see you go through the pain of Steve breaking up with you again, but it was inevitable. “Please just… be kind to her.”

Steve nodded, looking just as dejected as Bucky. He had no desire to hurt you again, but the situation couldn't be changed. And they both had to accept it.

Steve knocked on your door gently, not wanting to disturb your rest, but your eyes were on him immediately. You'd watched Steve follow Bucky out of the room and had spent the next thirty minutes trying to decipher the situation that had unfolded before you. Something felt different and you were struggling to put your finger on the issue.

Moments before Steve's return, you'd discovered a small diamond ring on your finger. You had been admiring the Edwardian design diamond cut when he appeared and you shoved your hand into the blanket in surprise, a rose flush staining your cheeks.

“Everything alright?” you asked, trying to divert attention from your less than stealthy maneuver.

“Yeah,” he answered softly. “And you?”

“Dr Kim suggested that they repeat my brain scan, what with the amnesia. Apparently I can't remember the last two years of my life.”

“About that, Ace. There are things we should probably talk about.”

“Like important things I've missed?” you laughed quietly.

Steve sighed and the weight of his exhale filled you with dread. “Ace…” You name was barely a whisper from his lips.

“Just say it, Steve.” You snapped at him, the silence getting the better of your nerves. Waiting for bad news wasn't one of your strong points.

“Look Ace, I don't really know if there is a good way to say this-”

“We're not together anymore. Right?” Tears welled up in your eyes slowly, your fears confirmed by the sadness on Steve's face. 

“I'm sorry.”

He let you sit with the news, giving you the space to process things in your own time. It's what you deserved, rather than the way things played out the first time where you'd caught him kissing Peggy outside your own apartment.

“Can I ask what happened?” you mumbled, dreading the answer even before you'd voiced the question. “Why didn't it work?”

“It wasn't … I didn't mean to hurt you.” Steve looked down at his hands, not meeting your eyes.

You wanted to know more but couldn't bear to ask. It was a little like wanting to avert your gaze from a horrifying scene but not being able to. 

“I still care about you. It's just that sh-”

You almost wished he wouldn't try to make you feel better. The question slipped from your lips before you could control your mouth.

“Who is she?”

“Peggy,” he said softly. He sounded almost sorrowful.

"What?” you exclaimed, face filled with surprise and confusion. “Peggy? Your Peggy?”

“Yeah.”

It felt like your world was spinning and you wondered if you'd hit your head harder than everyone had thought. Your ears were ringing and Steve suddenly seemed so far away. You were alone, again. Tears burned your eyes as they welled up under your lids. You felt like you couldn't breathe.

It wasn't until Steve's strong warm hands were wrapped around your arms that you realized you were shaking. When you finally looked up at him, blurry from your unshed tears, he took your face in his hands. Gently, he wiped away the streaks of water from your face with his thumbs.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered again.

And you believed him. You sat wrapped in his embrace until one of the orderlies came to collect you for your brain scan.

They let you go home without much of a fuss. At least the journey was familiar and Steve stayed with you, much to your surprise. It was awkward for you to discover that you still lived opposite your ex and his old/new girlfriend. More awkward still was the way she greeted you, like a close friend, not taking offense at your aloofness.

Shutting the door to your apartment was a welcome relief from the attention you'd received since you'd woken up but left you feeling more alone than ever. You walked around surveying your home. It felt familiar but there were things out of place, almost like someone had gone around and removed random items. Not that you could detect the absence of anything significant. It just felt like something was missing and you assumed that it was because you'd just lost Steve. That night you fell asleep nursing the gaping hole in your life. 

Ever since Bucky had moved his things out of your apartment, he had waited every morning in Prospect Park. Just to see if he could see you running. He would keep his distance, just as he had done before. Maybe he would even be able to recreate the relationship you had. But every day he felt this hope slipping away as he never saw you leave your home for a morning run.

Needless to say, Bucky was worried about you. He didn't know how you were holding up. He wanted to hold you, to comfort you, to love you. There was a gnawing ache inside his chest which grew every day that he couldn't talk to you. He had taken to staring up at your window from across the street. No one noticed. He hadn't been called a ghost story for no reason. It was a dreary wet fall afternoon that he succumbed to his urges and let his feet carry him up towards your apartment. He caught Steve and Peggy leaving via the building and dodged out of sight, not wanting to explain his presence. They looked so content together and Bucky felt his insides burn with jealousy. Not of who Steve had, but what he had.

There was something inside him pulling him to you, a longing that drew him in. He didn't know why or how, but it was like he knew you needed him. He climbed the stairs up to your apartment two steps at a time, feeling his heart practically stopping as he noticed your front door was ajar. He crept across the corridor and peered through the crack, looking for signs of a struggle. Surely Steve would have noticed if something was amiss and not have left you alone?

The sound of your soft sobs caught his ears amidst the angry crashes of a broom against the hard wooden floor. Bucky pushed the door open in search of you. He immediately saw you behind the couch, furiously sweeping the floor with tears running down your cheeks.

“Ace,” he called out gently so as not to startle you. It didn't work as well as he hoped as you jumped at the sound of his voice. “Sorry.”

“Bucky?” You looked surprised to see him. “What’re you doing here?”

“I-” Bucky hesitated for a moment before deciding on choosing a form of the truth. “I came to see how you are.”

He watched your brows furrow in confusion.

“Why?” you asked.

Bucky knew he deserved your suspicion. As far as you were concerned, he was not your biggest fan. “May I?” He pointed at the couch, asking permission for a seat.

You nodded apprehensively, watching him through narrowed and reddened eyes as he took a seat and patted the couch beside him so you cast aside the broom and sat down. He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to you. 

“You remember when I had a nightmare and Steve wasn't around and you were there for me?” He waited for you to nod your remembrance. “Well, think of this as returning the favor. We are friends after all.”

“We are?” you asked, surprise evident in your voice. Even more so by the softness of his smile and the familiarity with which he looked at you.

“If you'll still have me?” 

“Yeah,” you smiled through your tears. You were atonished at how comforting his presence was.

You gazed at him out of the corner of your eye as he pulled out his phone and started typing. It was his rather feeble attempt to avoid looking at you, because if he started, he knew he would never be able to tear himself away.

“I can’t find mine.”

“Sorry?” Bucky frowned, not quite keeping up with your train of thought.

“My phone.” You pointed at his. “I seem to have lost it. I'll have to get a new one so I can download everything. Might give me some clues about my life and what I've missed.”

You missed the look of panic on Bucky's face. What if you saw the photos of the two of you together and were disgusted by it? His mind told him that you weren't so cruel that you'd show him that revulsion, but his traumatized mind wouldn't let him believe anything else. He had spent year convincing himself that you couldn't possibly love him, then by the grace of God you had give him a chance, a chance he never expected and didn't think he deserved. All to have it taken away.

“Is that a good idea?”

“What if it helps me remember?”

“Or it could just be very overwhelming.”

“Didn't you want to know everything you'd forgotten.”

“Yeah, and it was a lot.”

You sighed, you felt impatient and annoyed. There was a gaping hole in your life and you wanted to know what had filled it. Was it just Steve's absence or was there something else?

“Is it ridiculous that I'm grieving over a relationship that ended two years ago?”

“It isn't two years for you.”

“I feel so alone,” you sniffled.

Bucky put his arm around you, and somehow you didn't feel as bad as you did a moment ago, almost like this was where you were meant to be. His warm palm covered your upper arm and he gently stroked your skin with his thumb. It felt so natural and comfortable, like you'd done it many times before. For the first time since you'd woken in the hospital bed, you felt safe. 

You looked up at Bucky, wondering how the man had gone from hating you to becoming the person who was consoling you. He looked different, you noticed, the longer you stared at him. Gone were the dark circles under his eyes and the gaunt haunted look that plagued his handsome features. You were a little disappointed to see that he had cut his long hair, not that his short crops detracted from his appearance in any way. Mostly you surmised that he seemed happier than the last time you remembered seeing him. It warmed your heart to see how far he seemed to have come.

A small flush crept across your cheeks as Bucky caught you staring at him. It got even darker as your stomach rumbled loudly.

“You should take care of yourself better, you know that right?”

You shrugged and Bucky sighed.

“You spend all your time taking care of everyone else, you forget about yourself.” He got up and walked over to the closet by the front door. You watched curiously as he opened it and pulled out a motorcycle helmet. “Come on.”

“Wait, did I learn to ride a motorbike?” Your eyes widened.

“No,” Bucky scoffed, bursting your little bubble of hope. “Go freshen up a little and we can go get some food.”

“Is that your way of saying I look like shit?”

“You're beautiful, but you still have snot on your face, so…”

“Oh my God,” you mumbled, ducking into the bathroom feeling mortified.

Life went on regardless of your recollection of the past. Your memories persisted in eluding you. You could sense their presence but they were just out of reach.  Going to work was the familiar routine which was the only thing that was stopping you from falling apart. It was good to see May, but she seemed too wrapped up in managing her students to have time to help you out. You wondered if she was just avoiding your emotions.

At least your pupils were a constant for you, despite some new faces, they seemed to love you and were definitely trying to remind you of the deadlines you'd apparently set for their assignments. The overwhelming feeling of loss however wasn't something you could shake. All your friends from your SHIELD days had moved on with their lives, and without May, you felt like you were floundering.

Bucky was in a similar boat, having moved out of your apartment and having lost Steve's attention to Peggy, he also felt a little adrift. He was however luckier than you, having sought shelter in his niece, Kim's home. She had welcomed him with open arms, now being the matriarch of the Barnes family. She knew you would be glad that he wasn't alone and had someone to take care of him. But her support wasn't quite enough and she could see him slowly slipping back into a dark cloud of melancholy. Kim had always known you had been his guiding star, but she hadn't realized quite how much he needed you.

Both you and Bucky drifted through the next couple of weeks like lost ships floating aimlessly. Until one night Bucky received a desperate call from Steve, demanding his urgent presence at your abode. The way Bucky drove his motorcycle was definitely considered on the wrong side of the legal system. He was at your door within seconds of his arrival, finding you sobbing uncontrollably in Steve's arms. Your breaths were shallow and uneven and it looked like you were having a panic attack. Steve looked at Bucky desperately, feeling completely and utterly helpless.

Bucky leapt over the couch and enveloped you in his arms in a vice like grip. Your face was pressed almost forcefully against his chest and your body was so compressed that you couldn't even take a breath to keep crying. Bucky's heartbeat was almost hypnotizing, like a metronome you focused on the rhythm until your mind stilled. Until the blood rushing through your ears slowed and you could finally hear the words of comfort that Bucky was muttering to you. It surprised you when he softly started singing your favorite song, Yellow. This is what got you to melt into him completely, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Come on.” He led you to the bathroom, giving you a moment to splash water on your face. As you turned to grab a towel, Bucky held it out of reach before dabbing your cheeks gently for you. “Better?”

You nodded, dropping your gaze, feeling self conscious of his undivided attention. Bucky smiled, enjoying how your lashes fluttered across your face in a coquettish manner. “Thanks,” you mumbled.

You stumbled back to the couch and collapsed on it, Bucky following in suit. Both of you enjoyed the comfortable silence together. You felt exhausted but grateful for Bucky's help. His presence was soothing to your soul. You took the opportunity to steal a glance. He seemed to have changed, there were a few new lines around his eyes which betrayed his lack of sleep.

It was almost an instinct, you reached out and brushed his cheek with your fingers. “Are you sleeping?”

Bucky smiled at you sadly and shrugged. “Honestly, it's not been a great time,” he sighed before mumbling. “I miss my best friend.”

Your heart ached to hear the words. “I'm sure Steve would hang out with you more if you told him.”

“I was talking about you.” He nudged your shoulder with his, smiling at the way your lips formed an ‘o’.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make me feel like I'm not losing my mind?”

“Because you're not crazy.” His words were so matter of fact. “So what happened?”

“I freaked out.”

“No kidding. Do you know why?”

“This is why.” You held up your left hand to show Bucky the engagement ring on your finger. “What kind of loser keeps wearing a ring from a guy who dumped her two years ago?”

Shit! Bucky froze, staring at the ring. Of all the lengths he had gone through to ensure he had removed all evidence of your relationship, how could he have forgotten that he had proposed to you two nights before your accident? Neither of you had shared your happy news with any of your friends, wanting to make the announcement at the right time. Now Bucky was the only one who remembered the event and he couldn't bring himself to tell anyone, even Steve. Especially not Steve, Bucky knew that if he confessed to his oldest friend, Steve wouldn't stop until he told you about it. So he kept his secret to himself.

You mistook his silence as agreement. “I never thought I would ever be this sad or pathetic.” You pulled your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them, hoping the ground would just open up and swallow you whole. You pulled the ring off your finger and held it out to Bucky. “Will you take this back to Steve, please? It looks like an heirloom, he will probably want to give it to Peggy.”

You dropped the ring into Bucky's open palm, the metal clinking against the vibranium. He picked it up carefully between his flesh fingers and tucked it into his wallet, glad that you weren't looking at his face because he didn't think he could hide the devastation that he felt. It was his mother's wedding ring, the one his great niece, Becca had given when they had first met. “Sure,” he answered in a dismal tone before deciding to change the subject. “Ace, I've never seen you like this. I'm worried about you.”

“I don't know what it is.” You shrugged. “There’s this ache inside my chest and nothing I do makes it go away. What do I do Bucky?”

“It takes time. You taught me that. We just take each day as it comes.

“Bucky, I'm glad you're here. Thank you. I feel better with you.”

“Well if you ever need anything, you call me. Day or night. Whatever it is. I'm with you, til the end of the line. Alright?”

You nodded.

“Good. Now how about I make some popcorn and we watch a movie? I know exactly what you like.” Bucky jumped off the couch, ready to do anything to keep the smile on your face.

The next morning, you woke up with a strange feeling. Gone was the overwhelming loneliness that you'd felt yesterday after seeing Steve and Peggy having an intimate moment. It had been replaced by something else, something that you suddenly craved. Despite your exhaustion yesterday, you and Bucky had stayed up late watching your favorite movies. It was thrilling to you how he remembered the things you loved and how happy it seemed to make him watch your wonder as you experienced them again for the first time.

Things seemed brighter somehow, like you suddenly had a renewed purpose, a sense of direction. Strangely, you had no idea what that direction was, but your body seemed to know exactly what it was supposed to do. You showered and dressed, donning a floral and a light layer of makeup. You had no clue why, but you wanted to feel pretty. After admiring yourself in the mirror, you got in your car, not overthinking your actions, just letting your body do what it thought was natural. Your body worked on autopilot, weaving through the streets to an unknown destination. 

Without knowing why, you pulled up on a street beside a park. You didn’t know why you stopped there, but you knew it was the right thing to do. The place seemed familiar, but you couldn't recall ever having been there before. You pulled your cardigan closer around your torso, not sure of what to do next. Maybe a walk in the park would help clear your head a little.

“Ace?” A voice you didn't recognize called your name and you turned towards him. The sound came from an older gentleman with dark hair and bright blue eyes. “You're here!”

The stranger opened his arms to you but you stepped back, wary of his advances. “Sorry, I-”

“You don't know who I am?”

“I'm sorry.”

“That's alright. Bucky told us about what happened.”

Your eyes brightened at the mention of Bucky’s name. “You know Bucky?”

Scott chuckled. “Yeah. Has Bucky ever told you about his family?”

You shook your head.

“He had a little sister, Rebecca. I'm Scott, her son and his nephew.”

You could barely contain the smile that spread across your face. “Bucky has a family?” you whispered joyously.

It was surprising to you, but made you happy to know he wasn't alone. Happier than you'd felt about anything since the accident. In fact, thinking about Bucky in general brought a smile to your face. You felt closer to him in your last two encounters than you had with Steve in that same time.

“Yeah. We have a weekly gathering. I thought that's why you were here.”

“Bucky invites me to his family's gatherings?”

“Well you're as good as family. Come on,” he motioned for you to follow him.

While you had started rediscovering your feelings, Bucky was wallowing in his loss.

He had begrudgingly attended the regular Sunday family event but only on Kim's insistence. Bucky was residing under her roof after he had shown up after evicting himself from your apartment. Instead of letting his family console or comfort him, he had decided to remove himself from the general festivities of the day. Everyone could sense his mood and no one was brave enough to weather the storm that surrounded him. All but one. Winnie, short for Winifred, who lived up to her name, was fair of complexion and calm in composure. Bucky's great, great niece was his favorite, if one was allowed to express such preferences. She had him wrapped around her little finger and he would jump at her every demand.

Wise beyond her years, she took it upon herself to approach his rather solitary and forlorn figure. Gently she approached him, wrapping her slender arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. She nuzzled her way into his lap, her sweetness was something not even the bionic staring man could turn away.

“It's okay, Uncle Bucky,” she whispered, brushing a small tear of his cheek. She leaned in towards his ear, cupping her hand beside her face, as though someone might overhear her. “I know how to make Aunty Ace all better.”

“How?” Bucky whispered back just as conspiratorially. No matter how depressed Bucky was feeling, Winnie was the only person, aside from you, who could make him feel better.

“True Love's kiss, Uncle Bucky!” Little Winnie exclaimed, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “If you kiss her, all her memories will come back.”

Bucky smiled ruefully. “I don't think that will work, Win.”

“Why not?” she demanded with a little pout.

“Because she doesn't love me.”

Scott had ushered you over to the family where he had waved away everyone's approach, directing you over to where Bucky was sitting with Winnie. He pointed at them and gave you a gentle shove in their direction. Something new stirred inside you as you saw Bucky cradling the girl in his arms. Your memories were still hazy, but you had never been more certain of your feelings in that moment. 

“I think it would be worth a try,” you suggested.

Bucky turned his head so fast that he almost knocked poor Winnie over, his eyes widened with surprise. Thankfully, his supersoldier reflexes kicked in and she didn't end up sprawled on the floor. Winnie climbed off his lap and ran over to you, grabbing your hand, she dragged you over to him.

“Hey,” Bucky smiled shyly. Had you overheard the conversation?

“Hi,” you answered.

Both of you grinned at each other like shy teenagers unsure of how to act. You watched Bucky's eyes flick from you to Winnie, who was standing behind you urging Bucky to kiss you. He was frowning at her, shaking his head wildly. You turned your attention to her.

“It's Winnie, right?”

“Yes!” Winnie bounced up and down with excitement that you knew her name. “It's working, Uncle Bucky! The magic is working.”

“Winnie, do you mind if your Uncle Bucky and I have a moment alone please?”

“Okay!” Winnie scooted off back to the rest of the family.

You look over at Bucky, both of you grinning at each other about how adorable she was. Bucky motioned for you to sit and you do, right beside him. You are so close that Bucky's heart is pounding and he is sweating like a schoolboy who is about to kiss a girl for the first time. You're good at this! He tried to remind himself as he used his tongue to moisten his chapped lips.

“I think your niece is onto something, you know.”

“Yeah?” Bucky asked, a hopeful sparkle in his eye.

“Yup!” You popped the ‘p’. 

You paused, but Bucky didn't move. It was time for you to take matters into your own hands. You leaned forwards, pressing your lips firmly against him in a soft kiss. Bucky can't help himself, slipping his tongue into your open mouth. He missed how you tasted. Both of you lost in the moment, every caress reminded you of a memory of the things you and Bucky had shared. You kissed him until you thought you'd run out of the air in your lungs.

As you pulled away, Bucky held you close, finally opening his eyes to find you staring right back at him. He reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear while you stroked his cheek. He opened his mouth to ask you a question but-

“DID IT WORK?” Winnie yelled from behind a tree where she was hiding.

“It worked!” you yelled back, smiling like the Cheshire cat.

Winnie ran off whooping and cheering.

“It did?” Bucky whispered. Not quite wanting to believe. 

“I mean, not everything is clear, but I think I remember the important things.” You touched his face again, telling him that he was the most important thing in your life. “Bucky, I'm so sorry.”

“For what?”

“For leaving you alone. For making you sad. I didn't mean to leave you,” your voice quivered a little as you spoke.

“Hey, hey,” he gave you a reassuring squeeze, “you couldn't help any of that. It's definitely not your fault. If anything, I'm the one who should be apologizing.”

“Why?”

“I made you a promise to take care of you, and all I did was run away. Because I was scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Scared that if we had to do it all again, you might not fall in love with me a second time.”

“Bucky, I never stopped loving you. The loss I felt, it wasn't because of Steve, I mean yeah that sucked, but I felt better every time you were with me. You took care of me even though I treated you like a stranger. Especially how I freaked out over- oh my God, Bucky!” You grabbed his arm suddenly.

“What? What's wrong?”

“The ring! I didn’t mean to throw that back at you. Oh Bucky, I'm sorry.”

“You didn't know.”

“Do you think, maybe, I could… have it back?” you asked, voice filled with uncertainty and hesitation.

Bucky chuckled. “Well I hoped you would say that.”

Bucky tugged on the chain with his dog tags to reveal the ring hanging around his neck, close to his heart. He got up off the bench and got down on one knee, holding out the ring to you.

“You kept it with you,” you sighed happily.

“Of course, I don't ever want to let you go.”

You held out your hand and let him slip it back on your finger and then leaned forwards to kiss him.

“YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?” a tiny voice shrieked from behind a bush.

“Winnie!” Bucky sighed.

“YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!” she screamed, launching herself you and Bucky.

Bucky caught the excited little girl In his arms and she flung her arms around both of your necks.

“Can I be your bridesmaid?”

“I wouldn't have anyone else, sweetheart.”

Winnie screeched again, wiggling out of Bucky's arms to share the news with the rest of the family. Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder and holding you close. Neither of you spoke your thoughts out loud but the look Bucky gave you told he wanted the same thing as you. 

[lovemyromance]

(Not a troll ask please don't shoot :D - genuine question)

But I feel like it's really downplayed how much Gwynriels gaslight the fandom. I joined ACOTAR bc I saw Gwynriel fanart and thought they were cute. I Got all the way to ACOSF still hoping for Gwynriel and got a whole lot of NOTHING. And honestly I think Elain is as interesting as cardboard (sorry), but you'd have to be downright blind to ignore she had something going on with Azriel.

Then I saw on titktok about the bonus chapter, everyone going in saying omg thats where gwyn & az are mates! So I cracked it open, read it - and bruh - HE'S OUT HERE TRYING TO GO DOWN ON ELAIN??

How can you put THAT interaction & the conversation he had with Gwyn side by side and people are walking away from it saying Gwyn & Azriel are mates?

I'm so genuinely confused why someone would start that nonsense. The way I ate up Gwynriel art/fan theories it was like she was a major character there from the start and they'd already had 8 kids and a HEA.

Then I open the books and they barely even have a conversation??

It was honestly really annoying. felt like a scam, like one of those authors peddling their book on social media and then you realize its a wattpadd fic written by a 12 yr old not an actual book

If it helps - we're all confused. Nothing has been proven yet about any remaining couple so idk why the Elucien and Gwynriels are out here straight up inventing fiction and trying to pass it off as fact to anyone willing (and even unwilling) to listen.

This ship war could've just been - "Hey I like Elucien more!" Or "I love elriel!"

But instead of just accepting these are all opinions and not actually what is in the books - people decided to straight up gaslight and claim that Elucien are a couple and Gwynriel are mates.

If you cannot point to it on the page where such a thing it explicitly happened - then it is not canon.

Lucien & Elain? They're mates. That's canon.

What's also canon - is that not all mates are a good pairing and end up happy together.

Whats also canon - is that the cauldron was wrong.

It shouldn't be hard to reach accurate conclusions if people stopped treating their wants and headcanons as fact.

Like for gods sake - let's just look at fanart. I'm not saying that every piece of fanart is canon or even should be canon - but elriel has much more canon fanart. Thats literally a fact. They have multiple major moments together - on the page.

What is canon Elucien fanart? When she falls out the cauldron - naked and humiliated and he gives her his cloak? When they sit together over a tea service acting uncomfortable? When she avoids him every other time she sees him?

What is canon Gwynriel fanart? When he gives her boss a secondhand necklace to give to her or anyone else? When he - and cassian and everyone else - watch her cut a ribbon she sees as an enemy?

I've seen so many people open up these books expecting some grand romance between Elain & Lucien and end up disappointed because... she doesn't even want to be in the same room as him.

So many Gwynriels with similar stories to yours expecting some entertaining Gwynriel love story only to also end up disappointed because Gwyn doesn't even exist till the last book and she and Azriel barely interact.

They chose to believe in a nonexistent ship and are trying to compete with canon Elriel evidence. Like ok - tough shit? But you can't just start making shit up.

Until Elain accepts that bond - or even gives Lucien the time of day - they're not a couple. They are nowhere close to endgame if everything she has done and said has shown us she doesn't want him.

Until Azriel himself declares Gwyn is his mate or vice versa - they're not mates.

And yeah I'm gonna get a lot of backlash from the "foreshadowing and crumbs" crowd.

But let me ask you this:

There are some Elriels who think the mating bond between Lucien & Elain is fake. There is plenty of evidence and similar language used about their bond that resembles the fake Rowan & Lyria bond. Plenty of signs showing their bond isn't quite right.

do you think Elriels can then claim it's canon that the Elucien bond is fake?

"We have crumbs and foreshadowing and similar language used" too. But do you see us going around claiming it's canon?

No.

We are very clear about the distinction between canon and headcanons. About what's in the books, and what is just pure guesswork and theory.

"Sparky spark" and "elucien is endgame" are both theories until proven. They are NOT canon.

Wish they'd just learn the difference. They'd be a lot less unhappy fans.

[mostfandomfanatic]

Because It's You

Part 1 - Dance of the Heart

Astarion x Fem!Reader

Summary: Astarion offers to teach you how to dance, which brings the two of you closer, in more ways than one.

Word Count: 3,581

Warnings: vampire bite, blood, gets a little steamy, but no smut in part 1. Astarion might be a little ooc. Might have a few typos.

ao3 link: Because It's You - Astarion x Reader

Upbeat music and the rhythmic tapping of dancers flooded the ballroom. Bittersweetly, you smiled at the couples all dancing in sync, their bodies pressed tightly together and their feet gliding across the marble floor in perfect time. You hated to admit it, but you were jealous of them. You loved to dance, but have never been able to understand these practiced, choreographed dances. You’d much rather dance to a beat of your own, moving freely and without care. But unfortunately, this wasn't the time nor place.

So here you were, hidden away, nursing some sort of fancy wine that you didn’t understand how anyone enjoyed.

“There you are,” Wyll’s voice came from behind, “I was wondering where you got off to, didn't think you’d be hiding away in the corner.”

In all honesty, you had been avoiding him, you hoped that where you stood now behind the crowd was discrete enough, but obviously not. You were well aware of Wyll’s dancing prowess, and with the way he had been eyeing you recently, stealing glances at you when he thought you wouldn’t notice, the man seemed to be smitten. You knew it was only a matter of time until he asked you for a dance, or for something more in your friendship. You knew you had limited time to come up with a nice way to turn him down. You didn't want to hurt his feelings, you cherished your friendship, but you couldn't be his partner, on the dance floor or in life.

All because of your two left feet, and your feelings for another.

“Ah well, I suppose this is more your scene than it is mine.” You gestured towards the dancers.

“You know me well,” he chuckles. “Actually, I was just coming over here to say that you look lovely tonight, and to ask you for a dance.” 

Wyll holds out his hand for you to accept. And you want to accept, you really do, but you can’t. Not with all the eyes around to see you struggle and fail at a task that they made seem so simple, so effortless. You couldn't accept, not with Wyll's hopeful eyes looking at you like you are made of light itself.

“Thank you, Wyll, but as tempting as your offer is, I have to decline. Perhaps Shadowheart would like a dance.” You tipped your glass in the half-elf girl's direction behind him, and while Wylls head was turned, you slipped away. You made your escape out the doors to the garden, not daring to look back to see the surly hurt look on Wyll’s face.

The garden was much less crowded, but still occupied by a few couples who wanted to enjoy a more private setting. You avoided making eye contact with any of them and entered the garden's maze. The hedges were tall and lush, you'd dare to even say overgrown, which hopefully meant no else had dared to enter. At the center of the maze was a quaint fountain, seemingly left untouched, given the murky water and the vines growing up along the sides, and the stone path was now covered in moss and grass. It was clear that keeping the maze in good condition was not of the hosts top priorities.

You took a deep breath and sighed, using the tip of your finger to make ripples in the murky water. From here, you could still faintly hear the music. Taking a closer look at the hedges, you noticed that through the thick leaves, no one could see you, and you doubt anyone else would come in here with the state it was in. Here, far from prying eyes, you could dance however you wanted.

You closed your eyes and tuned your ears solely to the music, letting the rest of the world fade away. The melody flooded your senses, the rhythm washing over your body as if a spell was casted upon you, guiding your movements. You danced without fear, uninhibited.

Your dance was slow and graceful. Like the harmony of the cello, deep and dark.

All too soon, the music came to an end, and so did your dance. You smiled breathlessly, your body feeling lighter than air, and your mind in a haze. It had been so long since you had let yourself dance, you wondered why you ever stopped.

The sound of applause brought you out of your trance.

You turned to see who had caught you, only to find the man who had stolen your heart. The pale elf himself.

“Astarion? How long have you been there?” You shifted awkwardly behind the fountain, as if to hide, as if you hadn't already been caught.

“Long enough, darling” he spoke, taking slow, casual strides to meet you at the other side of the fountain. “What are you doing dancing out here when there’s a perfectly good ballroom inside?”

He called you darling, you wondered if he could tell what it did to you, how you yearned for him to call you that again. He always seemed to know how to rile you up, with his constant flirting and teasing, his voice alone was enough to send pleasant chills down your spine.

You had grown closer in the past few weeks, ever since that first night you had let him feed from you. He had even opened up to you about his past and shown you his scars. He told you about how his terrible master treated him, how he was forced to use his body, how you were his first taste of a thinking creature's blood.

With every night he fed from you, as you enjoyed his gentle, cold embrace, how it seemed to last longer and longer each time, you knew falling for him was inevitable. And the way he’d care for you after, cleaning up the blood trailing down your neck from his bite, whispering a healing spell. You liked to think all of it meant he felt the same.

“I just needed some fresh air, and well, I guess I got carried away.”

“I see.” He studies you for a moment, his red eyes looking you up and down. You adorned a dress gifted by the host, a beautiful gown, satin, red. The flowing sleeves hang off your shoulders, exposing your collarbones and neck. Admittingly, you had picked it with him in mind. The moment you saw it, you had thought about wearing it for him, his hands against the fabric around your waist as he pulls you into him, lips kissing your skin, fangs brushing against your neck.

Your face burned hot under his gaze. Although you were used to his flirtatious personality, it still never failed to make you nervous. You wondered if he could tell how inexperienced you were when it came to things like this; the flirting, the touching, the teasing. Intimacy. Even though you have been physically close before—all the times he fed from you—you had never crossed the line. You wanted to, but would he? Would he want to be with someone so inexperienced? Would he want to be with you? These were the thoughts that haunted your mind at night, when you could still feel his touch lingering on your skin after he’d feed from you.

You distracted yourself from your thoughts by fiddling with one of the vines that had grown to the top of the fountain. “And what about you, Astarion? What brought you out here when all the fun to be had is inside?”

He moved to stand next to you, leaning on the edge of the fountain, turning his head to watch you as you began to trace over the cracks in the stone.

“I saw you make your little escape. Poor Wyll was looking like a kicked pup when you left. What did you say to him?” he asked, head rolling to the side.

“He asked me to dance, and I declined,” you shrugged.

“Really? And why would you do that?” His voice was teasing. He knew you harbored no romantic feelings for the warlock, you had told him so. Still, you answered honestly.

“Because I didn't want to lead him on. Besides, I wouldn't have been a very good dance partner.”

“After what I just witnessed, I'm sure that's not true.” His voice took a softer tone, one that offered comfort, one that he only used with you.

“I can’t dance like everyone else. I know the steps, I've practiced them alone a thousand times, but with a partner it's different. It's always so fast and I can never keep up. I just want to take it slow. No one can see me out here so I just started dancing… because I do like dancing.” You were mumbling like a fool at this point, looking down at your feet and fidgeting with your hands.

“I could tell. You looked… free.” The gentleness of his voice drew your gaze up to his. There was a somber, yet curious look in his eyes, and a hint of something you couldn’t quite place.

You cleared your throat, “I do wish I could dance though, properly dance, I mean. It would come in handy for events like these in the future. If we ever save a noble from a group of knolls and they invite us to be their guests of honor again.”

“Some guest of honor we are, hiding away in this dreadful maze,” he joked, “You know, I'm well versed in the waltz. I suppose I could teach you, if you'd like.”

“Really? I didn't know you could dance.”

“Of course I can dance,” he scoffed, “it was one of the many things Cazador forced us to know. Like you said, it comes in handy.”

Your heart sank. Cazador. Astarions master. You knew little of the wretched man, only what Astarion had felt comfortable sharing with you. All the pain and torture he had been put through, it made you sick. When you got to Baldur's Gate, the first thing you planned to do was storm his palace and stain it in his blood.

“I don’t want to bring up any painful memories for you,” you said. With his finger, he lifted your chin to meet your gaze. He was smiling softly. A rare sight that you wish you could hold forever.

“It’ll be different this time,” he said with confidence.

“Are you sure?” you asked.

“I am.”

“Are you sure you’re sure? Because you really don’t-”

“Darling,” he interrupted, silencing you. Then, with his hand still holding your head gently in place, he lifted his thumb to brush against your bottom lip. “I'm sure, because it’s you.”

In an instant, all your doubt and worry washed away and was replaced with a fluttering in your heart.

“Well as long as you’re sure, I would love for you to teach me,” you said with a shy smile, your face flushing with heat, your body shivering in anticipation. 

He offered his hand to you, and you gladly accepted, letting him pull you in, his other hand finding purchase at your waist. He was so close, you wondered if he could hear how fast your heart was beating.

 “We’ll take it slow, just follow my lead,” he said, his voice low, rumbling in your ear.

He guided you into the correct position, taking your hand in his and pulling you in with a gentle tug at your waist. The feeling of his cold touch sending shivers up your spine. His hand traveled up your back slowly before settling in the center.

Before you could say a word, Astarion began guiding you through the steps. You followed along as best you could. Two steps forward. A step to the left. It was simple. So why couldn't you get it right?

Though, of course, you knew why. It was him. It was the way Astarions hand held yours firmly, securely. You felt safe, he would catch you if you were to stumble. It was the way his other hand had traveled down, resting at the small of your back, tugging you closer to him when you fell behind. It was the way his hair fell over his face gracefully, how you wanted to run your fingers through those pearl colored curls.

And his arms, the way your hand rested against his sleeve still able to feel the hidden muscle underneath. The way he sometimes wore his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing the thick veins that ran down to his wrists.

And his hands. His long, nimble fingers holding yours tight.

A low chuckle brought you out of your lust driven haze.

“Getting distracted already?” Astarion teased.

“No, I was just-”

A sudden turn in the dance caused you to stumble into his chest. Astarion laughed as your face flushed with embarrassment, but he never let go, he carried on, gently guiding you back into position.

You gathered all your willpower and focused on the dance and not the feeling of his body pressed against yours. You took a glance down at your feet to watch his footing, assuring you were following the steps properly.

He stopped abruptly. You looked up at him, curious if you had done something wrong. He let go of your hand and brought his to lift your chin again.

“Keep your eyes on me,” he said, his voice just above a whisper. You nodded, words failing you as he pulled you back into him, closer than before.

You tried to focus on the melody, you tried to focus on anything but the cool, firm feeling of his touch, but you couldn't. He was so close, your bodies pressed together, your faces mere inches away, and the way his red eyes traced over your features, landing on your lips. You couldn’t focus on anything except for how much you wanted him to kiss you, to touch you, to do anything he desired.

Something inside you churned and twisted. Thoughts beginning to rise again. Would he even want to kiss you? Would he want to be with you?

Astarion halted again, sighing as he said, “Darling, what did I say?” He took your chin firmly until you met his gaze again. Your eyes glassy with unshed tears. “My dear, what is wrong? You were dancing wonderfully.”

“It’s not that,” you shake your head, his hand falling from your chin.

“My love, tell me-“

“Please, don’t call me that,” you finally said, your voice hollow. A pain had struck your heart as he called you that, his love. Did he really mean it like that, the way you wanted it to mean? You wanted to be his, you wanted him to want you, so much so you could barely think of anything else.

“What? Why?” He asked, his brows furrowed and his voice ringing with a genuine hurt.

“Because it is too painful to hear you call me that and not mean it. Not the way I desire it to mean.”

Astarion stared at you wide-eyed, before letting out a laugh. His head rolled back, a wholehearted chuckle escaping his lips.

“Why are you laughing?” You asked, hurt, thinking that he was laughing at your feelings.

“You really can be so naïve, my dear. How have you not realized it by now?”

“Realized what?”

“For gods sake,” his eyes rolled as he grasped your shoulders, forcing you to face him. “I'm in love with you.”

I'm in love with you.

He’s in love with you.

He loves you.

“You are?” You asked, your voice small, in shock.

“Yes,” he laughed again, “how in Faerûn have you not noticed by now? After all the nights we’ve shared.”

“I didn’t think those nights meant the same to you,” you admitted.

“My love, they meant everything to me.”

He rested his forehead gently against yours as he enveloped you in his embrace. You nudged your head closer, silently asking him for permission. He smiled down at you and closed the space between you himself, placing a sweet, tender kiss upon your lips.

You relished in the feeling of finally having his lips on yours before you began to pull away, but he wasn't satisfied. His hands fell to your hips, pulling you into him, his lips chasing yours to kiss you again.

The sweet kiss quickly turned into something more, something carnal, his tongue prying between your lips, looking for entrance. You gave into him instantly, his tongue swiftly entering your mouth, claiming every inch as his own. His hands moved to explore your waist, his fingers tempting at the laces of your corset.

Unfortunately, you needed to breathe. You gently pushed against his chest until he reluctantly released you, but kept you wrapped in his embrace.

“You have no idea how long I've waited for this,” he said, resting his forehead against yours.

“You should have said something sooner,” you laugh breathlessly.

“I would have, but I wanted things to be different with you.”

“Different how?” you leaned back to see his face, there was nothing but adoration in his gaze.

“I could have seduced you. I could have repeated every line I’ve ever used over the past two hundred years, I did at first, but I found myself unable to continue to do so with you. You trusted me, with your life, with your blood, which was arguably a dumb decision on your part,” he teased, pinching at your side.

You gasp playfully, pushing away from him. He pulled you right back.

“What I’m attempting to say is… you’re different from those in the past. You're not some conquest, and I didn’t want to resort to my usual methods with you. I wanted whatever this is between us to be real. I want us to be real.”

“I want that too.” You smiled up at him.

“Well darling, how about one last dance?” he asked, holding his hand out to you again.

“As long as it's with you,” you said, taking his hand. He pulled you in with a spin.

He held you as close as he could, taking every opportunity to admire your face, staring at you with every ounce of love he held for you. And you did the same, taking your time to memorize every detail of his handsome face, every freckle, every perfect curl.

With one last spin, you ended your dance with your back against his chest, his arm around your waist, hand resting just below your breasts, his other still holding yours tightly. You rest your other hand on top of his as you attempt to catch your breath.

The song had ended, but he hadn’t let go, even when your grasp on his hands loosened, his did not. He held yours tighter, pulled you closer. Your breath hitched, and you could feel him smirk into your neck. Slowly, sensually, he brought your intertwined hands to his lips, and pressed a gentle kiss to your flesh. His hand moved to your wrist and his lips followed, his eyes closed as his lips pressed against your pulse. He holds your wrist still, leaving a trail of tender kisses up your arm, you release a breathy sigh and let your head fall back onto his shoulder. His lips continue up over your shoulder to your nape, then finally to the pulse of your neck.

“May I?” he whispers. You know what he's asking for.

“Please,” you say softly, offering your neck to him.

He wasted no time, piercing your neck with his fangs. The pain felt like ice-cold daggers, but dulled quickly, dissolving into that familiar pleasant feeling, a heat that spreads throughout your entire body.

His grip on you tightened, his teeth digging deeper into your neck as he all but devoured you.

“Astarion,” you moaned in pleasure, and as warning. He pulled away reluctantly, a trail of your blood running down his chin. You turned in his embrace and raised your hand to wipe away the streak of crimson, but, in a moment of curiosity, you put your finger in your mouth and sucked up every last drop. Your blood tasted of iron and salt, but thinking of Astarion, how this was his very life force, it made the flavor oh so sweet, knowing that you were keeping him alive and well, and happy. You met his gaze again, his eyes blazing with a different hunger. Arousal.

His mouth was on yours before you could say a word, his tongue prying between your lips, searching for something. He was searching for that last taste of your blood that was now on your tongue.

You let him lead, as if you had a choice.

He held you firmly in place, his hands now resting at the sides of your neck, thumbs pressed against your jaw. He angled your head up, deepening the kiss. He swallowed up every moan you couldn’t help but let out.

“Shit…” he gasped, breaking away from you. But he didn't go far, resting his forehead against yours as you attempted to catch your breath. “You are full of surprises.”

You laughed breathlessly and nuzzled into him. In return, he rested his cheek on top of your head, slowly beginning to sway to the next song.

“Thank you for being so patient with me,” you said softly, afraid to break the sweet moment with words. 

 You felt him smile, and place a gentle kiss upon your head.

“Perhaps all you needed was the right partner.”

[ilcuoreardendo-fic]

Staring Contest

When you walk into the barracks to ask sergeant Hunter about some requisitions to transfer gear from the flagship Phalanx to the Marauder, the room, which had been eerily quiet, erupts in a raucous mixture of jeers and cheers, the sound practically vibrating the walls.

All in good fun. You can feel that in the Force. The battle had gone well and the troops were taking a moment to wind down from the adrenaline. Though through what means, you weren't entirely sure.

Looking toward the center of the room, you watch Deck shake his head and push away from a stack of crates set between him and the Bad Batch's sniper, introduced to you as Crosshair, who smirks like a tooka who's just gotten into the cream.

Next to you, Cerrix passes a couple of cred chips to Tech, who slips them into one of the many pouches on his belt, touches a forefinger to the bridge of his goggles, then swipes something on his datapad.

"That's five, zero," Tech says. "Who's next?"

From somewhere in the crowd of 7th Legion troopers, you hear an eager shout of "The commander!" followed by a wave of murmured agreement.

Every face in the room turns to you and if you were any less sure of yourself, you might find that intimidating.

Instead, you glance at Cerrix for an explanation. "What's going on?"

Cerrix rolls his eyes. "One di'kut bet another di'kut he couldn't out stare Crosshair and it's become a whole thing. You could win us back some money, commander..." Cerrix tone turns hopeful.

"Ha! These guys need all the help they can get." The boisterous voice you recognize as Wrecker's.

You look to Crosshair, who stands, arms crossed, rolling a toothpick slowly between his lips, sizing you up. His eyes are narrowed, calculating and you can practically feel the weight of his gaze on your skin. Something in it tweaks your competitive side.

"Hm." You hand your datapad to a grinning Cerrix. "Okay. I can do that," you say, as you head toward Crosshair, your men parting around you like water as you step up to the crates.

You take a cleansing breathe, letting it out in a soft chuckle as A'den, who you're half surprised to see in the crowd, leans close, whispers in your ear, "Get him, commander," before moving to hold up a wall, letting the rest of his brothers crowd in around you.

"Right," says Cerrix, "I've got eyes on Crosshair. Who's got the commander?"

"I do," the voice is warm and smokey. Sergeant Hunter; after your first meeting, you'd recognize his voice anywhere. He comes into view, standing just behind Crosshair, where he can watch your face throughout the contest. He gives the tiniest nod of his head.

"Okay," Cerrix continues, "first one to blink or look away loses. Draw is at four minutes on the timer." Cerrix motions to Tech, who taps his datapad and gives a thumbs up.

"No Force tricks," rasps Crosshair.

You smile. "I don't need Force tricks. Tech, start the clock."

And so it begins.

The weight you felt from his gaze when you were across the room is nothing compared to what you feel now, staring directly into Crosshair's eyes. His focus is pointed. When he's not tense or scowling, Crosshair's eyes take on a heavy lidded quality that seem to make the color of them darker, deeper.

All the clones have brown eyes.

And you've stared into many sets of them in many different contexts. Issuing orders before leaving for battle. Listening to stories in the mess or at 79's when you've been invited along. Sitting at bedsides in Med Bay. In dark corners of the ship, telling someone their brother didn't make it back. In the middle of firefights, choking on dust and wrapping the Force around you and the clones, who you can do nothing for except hold their hands...

But this is new. Different.

The last time you stared into someone's eyes this closely, for this long, they had been a lover.

With a soft sigh, you keep eye contact but let your vision take in the full, slightly out of focus, expanse of Crosshair's face.

He has the high cheekbones that all clones share, but they're more pronounced on his lean face. His jawline is narrow, chin strong. His lips are thin and between them he holds the ever captive toothpick.

You catch a teasing flash of his tongue as the toothpick rolls from one side of his mouth to the other.

It gives you an idea. You said you didn't need Force tricks. You never said you'd play fair.

You bring your full attention back to his eyes, notice one of his eyebrows has drawn up; it doesn't take the Force to know he's been examining you in much the same way.

Making sure to keep eye contact, you lean forward, place your left elbow on the stack of crates and rest your chin on your curled knuckles.

Curiosity flares in Crosshair's eyes, but he stays focused. Sharp. Assessing.

Until you slowly part your lips, as if you're about the speak. Instead of words, you let the tip of your tongue play along the inside edge of your lower lip and watch the subtle widening of his eyes. You can feel the control he exerts over himself to not break eye contact to look fully at your mouth.

You reach out with your free hand — slowly; he could stop you if he wanted to — and pluck the toothpick from his mouth. His lips part, you hear the slightest uptick of his breathing.

There's a low rumble throughout the room. Hushed conversation. Maybe constrained laughter.

You flip the toothpick, bring the end of it that had been between Crosshair's lips to the center of your own.

Your tongue slips out, curls around it and you tuck it up against the corner of your mouth with a sly smile that you know reaches your eyes.

Crosshair blinks.

Cerrix cry is instantaneous. "The commander wins!"

"Secret weapon?" Hunter says to him.

"We do tend to bring her out when we really need the win, on the battlefield or off."

You cast a sidelong look at Cerrix, one eyebrow raised. He doesn't even have the decency to look cowed.

You turn back Crosshair, who's arms remain crossed over his chest. His chin is tucked. He's still watching you.

You lean in close, balanced against the crates. "I told you I didn't need Force tricks."

"Perhaps," he reaches out, forefinger under your chin, thumb pressing into the sensitive skin just below your lip where his toothpick still sits, "we need a rematch. Without an audience."

I...haven't done a reader insert ficlet in a long time and never for Star Wars.

But I just had this idea bubble up at random. It was an okay word workout and it let me think more about Crosshair's face. So, win.

[mell0wjello]

Crazy in love, stalker, border line obsessive Yuu with Azul. Based on the song “the boy is mine” by Ariana Grande .

Oooo I hear you. Im taking inspo from the lyrics and the music video !

~~~~~~

Despite your lack of magical abilities, you were a respeced student on campus. A good student who always turned in their work on time, always paid attention to class and always got good grades. Independence was one of your strengths, one that always shone through in your classes. When someone approached you to work in Alchemy class, you barely looked up from your notebook. This time though, when your eyes lifted off your meticulous notes, they were frozen on the image of your partner. You must admit, you had never gone out of your way to interact with Octavinelle's Housewarden, but now that he was in front of you, something went off in your head.

His icy blue eyes threatened to swallow you whole, sending a spark of unexplicable electricity down your body. It was intimidating, but at the same time, oh so pleasurable. His silky wavy hair adorned his sharp and alluring frame, awaiting your response. You nodded, completely bewitched by his gaze. His hands moved gracefully over the flasks, skillfully pouring every specimen over the cauldron. His eyes concentrated on the task and relaxed as soon as pink smoke emerged from the mixture. He was good at this, and he looked unreasonably good doing it. The bell abruptly disrupted your gazing, and before you realized it, Azul had already packed his things and gone out the door.

Desperately, you hurriedly shoved all your things inside your bag and rushed out the door. Your eyes looked frantically among the students in the hallways for the sign of his light grey hair. You sighed relief as you eventually spotted him, heading outside the building. Your feet moved on your own after him, careful to not be too obvious. You wanted to see more of him. What was he like around other people? How did he spend his nights and afternoons? Does he always look so enchanting? Or was it a show, just for you? You simply wanted to indulge in your curiosity. One feet stepped inside the mirror, but the other wouldn't move.

Doubt comes in. You'd never chase after someone else so achingly. And you knew that this was not right. In spite of yourself, you force yourself into the mirror. At the other side, a crowd of students were heading towards the main building. Following the chattering students, you head inside. Mostro Lounge is bustling with activity, and a server soon whisks you away into a table for yourself with the price of a small drink. You anxiously look around, trying to spot the person you were looking for. Your eyes dart around, and eventually land on Azul's distinctive silhouette heading towards the hallway.

Without getting your drink yet, you stood up to follow where he was heading. Azul turned to a corridor that lead to presumably the dorm rooms. Your face lifted watching him swiftly stride to the room at the very end of the hall, closing the door quietly.

His room.

You began to carefully walk over to the end of the corridor, before hearing voices close by. A couple of Octavinelle students were coming this way too. You exited the hallway to avoid any further suspicion, walking straight out of Mostro Lounge too, completely forgetting about the thaumarks you spent.

That night, you were unable to concieve sleep. You tossed and turned in your bed, ceaselessly haunted by the image of your alchemy partner. It was driving you mad. His face appeared in your dreams and carelessly slipped into your fantasies. It was rushing heat to your body, causing you to squirm uncomfortably in your sheets. You needed alleviation.

Completely disregarding the voice inside you urging you to go back to bed, you headed out into the dead of night to seek relief from the burning feeling in your chest. Entering the mirror silently, greeted by the dark and mysterious atmosphere that Octavinelle had at night, you cautiously went into the building. The lounge was dimly lit, but thankfully empty. The corridor was completely obscure, save for the sole light sneaking from the door slightly ajar at the very end. Release was just beyond that door. The point of no return.

Hurriedly, you peeked through the crack. A light was lit, and Azul was writing something on his desk. His forehead was leaning on his hand as he wrote hurriedly. Poised, even at such dark hours of the night. It was absolutely mesmerizing. He sighed as he finally lifted his working fingers from the paper and your heart fluttered. You felt the heat dissipating, but something else was festering inside of you. Something that compelled you to stay long after the light had gone out. You wanted him. You ached for him. You loved him.

You learned his schedule, perfectly planning when and where to approach him. Talk to him, make him laugh, gain his trust. But it wasn't enough. An insatiable hunger for more growled sorely in the pit of your stomach. Loving him wasn't enough. He needed to be yours.

Crewel was very pleased when your marks in Alchemy suddenly shot up. Out of the blue, you seemed remarkably interested in his class. You'd even stay after hours to perfect your potions, such a diligent and hardworking student. He'd leave the lab unlocked since you insisted on staying the whole day in there.

After trial and error, you finally succeeded. Pink smoke arose from your cauldron, along with a sickly sweet scent clouding your mind. Hurriedly, you pulled out a small flask from your backpack and poured the blend inside, sealing it with a cork. You looked at the time. 5:00 o´clock. You cleaned and stored everything away before making sure to close the door behind you. 5:10, you were out the door, leaving the lab completely spotless. Humming, you made your way back to Ramshackle dorm. There was a certain spring in your step and a pitch in your voice. You brushed your hair in the cracked bathroom mirror, observing how pretty you looked. You had to look stunning. You were gonna meet up with him after all.

At 5:30, you were outside his room, knocking on the wooden door. From the other side of the door, you could hear footsteps approaching before the door opened. Azul greeted you at the door as you gave him the smile that you had been practicing in the mirror earlier. You sat down with him and talked just like you had rehearsed in your room barely an hour ago. All the while, your eyes wander over to the cup of coffee on his desk he keeps drinking. But how can you distract him? Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door.

The stars aligned. Azul sits up and walks over to the door to answer. Without a second to lose, you dive your hand inside your bag to fish out the small flask you had prepared earlier. But you fumble. The container slips out of your hands and falls to the floor with a resounding thud. You quickly pick it up and uncork it, but Azul's voice freezes your hands in place. You turn to look at him closing the door, staring at the incriminating object in your hands, the unmistakable scent wafting between the two of you. Azul tries reaching for your hands, but you are quicker to bring it to your mouth. With a flick of the wrist, the liquid drips into your mouth. With boldness surging through your blood, you grab Azul by the chin and bring his lips onto yours, seeping the honeyed liquid into his mouth. You push into him, making sure not a single drop is wasted.

You feel a hand come up to your cheek, pulling you in closer. Your eyes open and widen at the compliance, seeing how Azul shows no intention of opposing. You pull away, gasping for breath. There is still a some fluid dripped out from the corner of mouth, but Azul is quick to lap it up with his tongue. You feel the effects of your potion begin to set in as your chest heaves. Everything else blurs except for Azul's figure in front of you, taking you into his arms. His deep voice laced with honey whispers into your ears,

"If this is what you wanted, then you should've saved yourself some trouble"

Your knees go weak beneath him, as he lifts you up in his arms and places you on his bed.

~~~~~~

[reallychaoticwoo]

⛓️ Im so sorry it's taken so long but here it is! I really hope you enjoy it and I was able to do what you imagined 🖤 ⛓️

✨️ 7 Sees 1 Team ✨️

❤️Pairing: Yeosang x reader

⚠️Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY!! cussing, oral f receiving, fingering, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (wrap it up buttercup), soft dom Yeo, subby fan reader, squirting, voyeurism, slightly possesive Yeo🖤

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way‼️

🖤I just want to apologize again for how long this took ive had a fic that ive been stuck on that kind of shut me down mentally for a while but my writers block is over and i should be posting more frequently here soon! Also, of course theres going to be a happy fluffy ending because i am a simp for a love story even though im also a feral whore 🤣 As always i hope you enjoy and thank you so much for your support!🖤

The concert had been a whirlwind of emotions. You had screamed your heart out, laughed, cried, sang, danced, and obviously completely drooled at the unbelievably god like men preforming on stage. Sadly, the concert had come to an end but at least you still had send off to look forward to. Truly that was the only thing keeping you together in this moment. Making your way to the long hallway to find yourself a spot, you'd spotted the group out of the corner of your eye heading to their dressing room to cool down before they said their final goodbyes. You'd made eye contact with Yeosang during this brief moment and shot him a kind smile and a small wave. He returned the smile and wave before disappearing with the rest of the group.

The wait for Ateez to come back out wasn't actually that long but it felt like forever. Your anxiety had gotten the best of you thinking about how close they'd be, how they would actually be right in front of you, in person, you could genuinely reach out and shake their hand. You were shaking in anticipation. One by one the members passed down the line, each one of them making small talk with you and other fans, signing photocards or other things people had brought, and taking pictures or videos. You weren't prepared for Yeosang to reach you, not after the small hut very meaningful to you (and him, but you didnt know that), exchange of smiles the two of you had only 10 minutes prior.

A few of the girls around you were complementing the statue like man, calling him cute, adorable, sweet, ect. You just smile waiting patiently for him to get to you mumbling under your breathe almost in unison with his words "He's not cute. He's grown, he's handsome, stunning even, but not cute." Your words, which you thought no one could hear above the crowd of excited fans, caught his attention, his ears perking up at the fact you agreed with him, and not only that, you said he wasn't cute right as he had said it to the fans. To him, it felt like you understood him in that moment. He could do cute things, but he, himself, was not cute.

Finally putting himself directly in front of you to chat for a moment, he asked if you'd like a picture to which you obviously said yes. After a couple pictures, he chatted with you asking how you enjoyed the concert, who your bias was, and almost too quietly for you to hear, if you had any plans after send off. You answered every question, a little hesitant on the last one not sure how to answer as you didn't think telling him that your only plans were to go home and daydream about this night for the next week would be a good answer. Instead you said you didn't really have plans to which he smiled excitedly. Feeling a bit more confident around you and finding you were so easy to be around he asked you if you'd like to join him after send off to hang out. He wasn't obvious about it as there were many people around but his mood greatly improved after he moved away from you and continued down the line. Little did you know you had just made his night as special as he had made yours.

Finding you after send off wasn't too hard for him as you hadn't moved a single inch since he asked you to join him for the night. You felt like your heart was beating out of your chest and you'd been in a state of shock since that moment. When he caught your eyes you immediately perked up and shot him another smile and small wave, to which he returned as his made his way to you. "Hello, Tiny! Thank you for staying after, hopefully the wait wasn't too long!" Gosh, his voice was serene, melting you with every word. "No, not at all. Honestly I could've waited hours if needed it's not every day your bias asks to get to know you. I feel like this is a dream." You chuckled, a bit embarrassed at how eager you were coming off.

Noticing your nerves which he very much felt as well in this moment, he grabbed your hand and started walking with you. "Its not every day I ask to get to know a fan. If I'm being completely honest you're actually the first person I've asked to stay and wanted to get to know." The blush on his face said it all. You knew Yeosang wasn't much as much of an outgoing man as his fellow members. You admired that about him, how he seemed to be content in his own company, how he could be reserved and still scream confidence and mesmerize an entire fan base. "Well I'm honored to be the first." Your voice was barely audible, but he heard you loud and clear. "If I'm going to be truly honest, I do also feel the need to let you know you're the first one that's caught my attention in other ways as well. However I'm fully okay with getting to know you as a friend if you're uninterested in anything more than that." You froze on the spot, almost making the muscular man stumble back as his hand that was holding yours tugged against him. "I'm sorry, that was very forward. Please disregard that. I would very much like to just get to know you." Still standing in place you looked around yourself noticing you were now in a different hallway with many doors on each side of you.

Noticing some of them seemed to be dressing rooms for the background dancers and the one that seemed to be for Ateez. You slowly took a step forward letting Yeosang continue to lead you only a few more steps before you were outside the groups dressing room. Looking at the plaque on the door and then back to him you finally spoke, " I- I'm sorry for my reaction, I just.. I wasn't expecting that. But since you've been so honest with me I feel I should return the favor and let you know that I have definitely thought about more intimate scenarios involving you and myself as well. So I'm by no means going to turn you down if that's what you're insinuating." You were certain your cheeks were bright red as you looked up to the man with hopefull eyes. "Wonderful, then let's hurry with the fun half before the guys get back, we have all night to talk and get to know each other afterwards."

You hadn't even made it three steps in the door before Yeosang had you pinned against it, his lips pressed against your own, kissing you passionately, his one hand resting against your jaw, his other moving down your body to find it's place on your hip. You didn't expect this from him, but that didn't mean you were pleasantly surprised. Small soft moans escaping your lips only to be swallowed by the very hungry man in front of you. Without breaking the kiss for even a moment, he moved his hands down to your thighs giving them a gentle squeeze before lifting you up and placing you on the large vanity nearby.

Sloppy kisses and hands exploring each other already had you reeling in anticipation, your whines getting needier by the second. "Can I touch you sweetheart? I need to feel you wrapped around my fingers." The most drunken sounding yes escaped your mouth as his hands began to make their way down your thighs to your knees before traveling back up to your hips, squeezing and massaging them. His thumbs slipped under the top of your jeans, a light tug asking your permission, before taking them off of you fully. He reveled at the sight of your lower half exposed to him, licking his lips at the glistening cunt that sat before him just waiting to be devoured. Taking his shirt off, he stepped closer to you placing suckling kisses from your jaw to your shoulder and back again, all while slipping one of his fingers into your tight hole. You gasped at the intrusion, your eyes shutting at the feeling, already so close to your release. "Fuck baby, when's the last time anyone fucked this pretty little cunt of yours? You're so fucking tight for me."

Oh, he was going to ruin you for anyone else after this. Make you fit him perfectly molding your cunt to him and only him. You were perfect, you just didn't know it yet. "I, ah fuck - i.." He slipped in a second finger as you were trying to answer him to the best of your ability. "Fuuuckkk Yeo, shit, I've only ever done this twice, wrong person. Fuck please don't stop." That was it. He was determined to be the right person, the only person from here on out. "Fuck, sweet girl just waiting for me to claim you weren't you?" He slipped in a third finger, pumping it fast and hard hitting the perfect spot to make you unravel for him. Adding his thumb to the mix, tracing slow circles around your clit as his fingers pumped into you mercilessly, drove you over the edge. "Fuuck yes, yes, God yes, Yeo, make me yours." Your legs clamping together as you surrendered to your pleasure, your chest rising and falling rapidly. He slowed his pave as you rode out your high, removing his fingers to bring them to his mouth, sucking your sweet juices off them. "Shit you taste fucking delicious baby. Think you can come for me one more time before I fuck you sweetheart? You're already being such a good girl for me." You were already a mess, your mind wondering around itself in pure bliss, your previous times being nothing compared to the pleasure Yeosang just gave you using only his fingers. "Yes please, want you to taste me, all for you." You mumbled out, eyes barley open. "Such a pretty doll, so polite even being all fucked out already."

Pulling up a chair, he sat himself right infront of your soaked pussy, grabbing your thighs to hold you in place as he licked painfully slow up your folds. Your legs already trying to clamp together, still barely recovered from your previous orgasm. "Stay still precious. I want to enjoy my meal." You tried you best to follow his directions, but when his tongue made it's way deep inside you, your back arched, hips bucking up into him as your head fell back into the mirror. "I said be still princess, wouldn't want you hurting yourself, or getting hurt because you aren't listening." He emphasized his words with a hard press of his thumb to your clit. You didn't dare move but the cry you let out was all in vain as he was now rubbing harsh circles against your overly sensitive nub to hear you cry for him over and over again. You were so close to exploding under him your hands gripping the edge of the vanity for dear life. A few more harsh rubs as his tongue worked your walls strategically and you were done for. Your vision went white, stars floating around your eyes as you felt warmth flood your thighs dripping down your ass. Yeosang relentlessly lapping up every drop he could, circling your clit faster to prolong your release as long as possible.

What neither of you expected was at that very moment, was the door opening, revealing the rest of the members of Ateez standing there, mouths agape. "Shit. Uh." You struggled to straighten yourself up so you weren't on full display to the entire group but Yeosang wouldn't let you move. "Isn't she beautiful? So good for me too. I'm more soaked now than I was on stage." He looked towards the men who still hadn't moved an inch. San was the first to break the silence. "She's fucking gorgeous Yeo." The rest if the men nodded in agreement. "Oh don't I know it. Now before you all go getting any ideas, I'm going to stop that shit right now." He shot them all warning glares. Then he turned to look at you, "Princess will you please turn around for me?" His voice was even lower now, and you were in a trance. Obeying the blonde haired man you moved yourself off of the vanity trying to steady your shaking legs as you turned to face the mirror. "Good girl, now keep your eyes on yourself baby okay? I want you to see how beautiful you look when I fuck you." You shivered at his words, goosebumps spreading down your spine.

Yeosang deadpanned the group of men who were all breathing heavily at the sight before them. "Now I won't make you leave this time because I want you to listen very carefully got it?" The men all nodded, a few of them already palming their length through their pants. You heard Yeosangs belt coming undone, shortly after he was behind you one hand on your hip and the other rubbing his member up and down your sopping cunt collecting your slick before slowly pushing his thick long member inside you inch by inch. "Fuck Yeo, feel ssoo good" You're eyes rolled back as he fully sheathed himself inside. "So fucking tight for me baby, fit me perfectly." He pulled out until his tip was all that was left before thrusting into you with a quick snap. Keeping your eyes fixed on the mirror like you were told you let out a cry gasping at the painful pleasure of each harsh thrust. "FUCK AAHHH all for you, it's just for you!" Tears starting to form in the corners of your eyes as he continued to ram into you brutally, hitting all the right spots. He turned his attention to the men who most of which were now jerking themselves in their pants unable to control their need in the moment.

"I hope you all heard that. She's mine. There will be no fucking sharing so I hope you all get your fix this time, cause it will not happen again." He landed a rather hard smack to your ass as emphasis before pulling you upright by your hair. "Look at this baby, their all so needy for you. So beautiful infront of them. Too bad you're all for me. Isn't that right darling?" You were sobbing at this point your brain was no longer in control you'd fully surrendered to pleasure. To the pleasure Yeosang provided. "R-ri-right Yeo. Only - only yours, please, f-fuck- please Yeo..." You weren't fully sure why you were begging you just knew you were fucking close to snapping, your body ready to come undone for the third time tonight. Yeosang was kind enough to give you what you needed, pulling your back flush against his chest, his hand wrapped around your throat as he leaned in to suck on the dip of your neck, his other hand snaking it's way down to your pretty little clit. Speeding up his pace becoming more sloppy with each thrust he pulled away from your neck with a pop, the purple mark prominent only making him more eager. "I need you to tell me where you want me darling, I'm close." You barely registered his words, on the edge of your own high. "Inside, please Yeosang I need you inside of me, make me yours, please please" Coming undone as you begged him to do the same, your vision going white yet again, your body loosing its hold on itself. If it weren't for Yeosang holding you against him you definitely would've fallen. At the sound of your pleas, and the feeling of your walls spasming around him, the warm spray of your release coating his thighs and everything near by, his hips studdered deep into you his hot ropes of cum spurting all over your walls. Coming down from his own high he gave a few more shallow thrusts before pulling out of you completely.

Addressing the others in the room Yeosang said, "Now that you've all had your fun I suggest you go clean up and change. Before you do just know that we will not be speaking a word of this moving forward. And if she so chooses, she will be coming back with me." Moving quickly to kick the men out of the dressing room and lock the door, Yeosang made his way back to you to help you to the couch on the other side of the room. He gently helped you lay down making sure you were as comfortable as possible. "You did so good for me baby. Let me help you clean up and once your feeling good enough we can go to my hotel room and talk for as long as you'd like. Does that sound good?" You nodded a blissful smile painting your face.

As Yeosang went to find a towel to clean the two of you up, you recalled what he'd said to the group before kicking them out. "Yeo?" You called out to him. "Yes, darling?" He replied as his made his way back to you with a fresh towel and some water. "Did you mean what you said to them about bringing me home with you?" You asked him shyly. He'd seen you naked, hell, you just squinted on him twice, but the thought that he might want something more than that made your stomach flutter. He gently wiped away what he could before helping you with your clothing. "Of course I did. I don't say things. I don't mean beautiful. But it's your decision on if you want to come with me or not." It was almost instantly that replied, "I'd love to."

[soultek]

Late To The Party - Roronoa Zoro x Female!Reader (One Piece Live Action)

💚As it's a certain someone's birthday today!💚

A/N: I feel literally late to the party myself with this - but there we are!

Also not the Zoro I ever expected to be writing for but I was just too inspired NOT to go for it!

100% inspired by 'Dance With Me?' by @alotofrandomfangirling. I read that fic, listened to this song and was like "Oh it's all fits nicely!" and then kinda ran with it! [BTW - you should OBVIOUSLY go and read her fic!]

Ahh... and also, for getting me through all this OPLA fangirling @alotofrandomfangirling this one is also 100% for you! 😁❤

Disclaimer: As usual, nothing except the reader character is mine (loosely based on my OG anime counterpart character Zoro!SO) I tried to keep him as close to his OPLA self as possible but I can't promise I didn't let a bit of his anime personality slip in but I have read this back so many times now I'm like 99.9% he's LA accurate!

Warnings etc: Drinking, mention of injury/scars, super mild cursing, established (secret?) relationship.

Premise: With a party happening in the port you happen to be calling in, you and the crew take the opportunity to be social. Zoro takes it as an opportunity to drink, but maybe that isn't the only reason he's going...

Words: 6325

Song Inspo: Late To The Party - Kasey Musgraves

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By the time we get there Everybody will be drunk The chairs will be on tables And the band will be unplugged We're gonna look real good But we're gonna look real rude I'm sorry I'm not sorry that I'm Late to the party with you Let's promise when we get in That we'll try to get right out Fake a couple conversations Make the necessary rounds These kinda things just turn into Who's leaving here with who? But I just want 'em all to see me come in...

Late to the party with you Oh, who needs confetti? We're already falling into the groove And who needs a crowd When you're happy at a party for two? The world can wait 'Cause I'm never late to the party If I'm late to the party with you

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Nothing was right. Every outfit you tried just ended up with a sighed 'No.', before being thrown in the corner. Everything else was done – hair and makeup went perfect; you were maybe even quick with those. But this... This was taking the time. Sure, you probably could throw on any old thing and get away with it - this wasn't some fancy dinner, or anything you had to look good for. Just a port with a party. But that was the point - it was a party. It was a chance to be sociable, dress up for a change. It was your thing. And you were late.

Snapping you from your thoughts with a jump, was a loud pounding on the door behind you. It was almost accompanied by a shriek, but luckily you saved yourself the embarrassment of that. Whipping around, you could feel your heart beating a million miles an hour - you didn't realise any of the crew were still here.

"Y/N! What the hell is taking you so long!?" Your eyes widened to the voice; now you were doubly glad you hadn't screamed. Opening the door ajar, you poked your head out and were faced with the unimpressed look of the crew’s resident green-haired swordsman. On second thought that was just his natural expression. You opened the door a little wider, halfway between asking a question and looking around to answer it yourself - was everyone else still here? Evidently, he wasn't done ridiculing you; "What the hell!? You're not even changed!? Even I got changed!" Your eyes focused back on him... Well, he wasn't wrong. He had changed his shirt. You indicated to the pile of clothes strewn on the floor, "Well I didn't know what to wear!" Now you were talking to Zoro, you might as well ask; "Wait, is everyone still here!?" His hands went to his pockets as he shuffled a little on his feet, eyes moving from yours, "No, but I said I wasn't leaving without you, now hurry up!" "…Hurry up!?" You folded your arms, eyes narrowed. You'd known him long enough to be able to read him pretty well, "Zoro, I bet you don’t even want to go!" He copied your crossed arm stance, "Maybe it's not my scene but if it’s a party, there’s alcohol." You couldn't help but roll your eyes, 'good lord.' Resisting shaking your head you turned your full attention back to him, glancing head to toe; "You’re going with your swords? Really?" Zoro was as defensive as you expected, "You never know what’ll happen." That seemed typically him. "Well…" You turned back to your clothes with a smile, finally deciding on something that would complement what he was wearing, "you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t take mine." "Annnnnd that’s why I’m the better swordsman." You glanced back over your shoulder to shoot him a look. Despite how nonchalantly he'd declared it, the tiny smirk on his face said everything. “I am but a humble student, you’re supposed to be better than me.” He laughed, short, more like a bark; “Humble is the word you’d use, huh!? Interesting…” You turned your body fully back to him, hands on your hips. "Why would you even think I would debate-" You cut yourself short, realising that somehow Zoro was managing to stall time even more. So much for hurrying you up. "HEY! Will you get out of here and let me change!"

Sensing he was clearly enthusiastic; you gave him 15 more minutes before you headed back out on deck. He was standing with his hands in his pockets again, ankles crossed over each other as he leaned back on the railing. Glancing you up and down he gave a single simple nod. This was Zoro, so that was a complement and you would take it. There was silence between you for a moment, but the sound of a party was in the air. It was loud, it sounded busy. Exactly the kind of thing you liked. Exactly the reason it had taken you so long to get ready in the first place. And he knew that. The man in front of you however…

Zoro walked forward a couple of steps, slowly, looking around as if on high alert. He stopped not even a foot from you, brown eyes focusing back on yours. His voice was flat, but it was a distinct tease. "You know, a lookout not on deck is no good." You could have seen it coming from a mile off, but there was something about him that made you rise to it anyway. "Looking out for what?! We’re docked! You seem to believe you’re doing a better job, and you were still here.” He indicated to himself, "First mate. Lookout is not in my official job title." He was going to drive you insane. Your breath was deep but you held back the ‘my god, how did I end up with you!?' - for both ways he could take it and neither ending up in your favour. Instead, you cleared your throat and threw your hand in the direction of the port, “Can we just go please - if you’re so eager?! You did just rush me.” Zoro shuffled on his feet a bit more before he decided to respond with, “Fine.” That did not mean that he moved very fast at all, and you shook your head slowly, following him. Apparently, the draw of alcohol wasn't even doing it tonight. You did wonder sometimes, you really did…

Once you got down the gangplank, Zoro turned immediately left. You glanced to your right; exactly where all the light and sound was coming from. God help you now... You raised your eyes to the sky; 'idiot.' Instead of saying anything, you simply reached out and took his hand. Seemed like a natural enough thing to do... He was fine with it within the confines of a room training. Touch was okay there. But in public, you couldn't be sure. Not even on a currently deserted dock. But Zoro didn't jerk away, and even when he walked far enough for his arm to pull back when you weren’t moving, he didn't drop it. Turning back to you, standing rooted in place, staring at him. Your arm stretched as far as it would go with his doing the same, hands still together. You tipped your head in the opposite direction. Once again, not a word passed your lips. His eyes moved around you to the port, but he barely acknowledged it before walking back to you, and then in step. You let him dictate the pace - still super slow.

Zoro cleared his throat, deciding that he would comment on the situation. "I knew that, I was just taking the scenic route." You declined to comment that the scenic route was about to lead Zoro off the end of the pier. There was humour in your voice, “Every route with you is the scenic route…” You wouldn't say you struck a nerve, but there was something sharp in his voice. “What are you trying to insinuate?!” You opted to just shake your head again, amusement obvious on your features; even if it was clear, you were saying something. Zoro narrowed his eyes at you, keeping them on your face to wait for you to break. Unfortunately for you, it didn't take long to start giggling. Composing yourself a little, you came up with a decent excuse. “Hey, look, I just don’t want to lose you. It’s pretty busy.”

To your earlier point, the dock around you was dead, but the direction you were heading in seemed overly crowded. Zoro, still focused on the surrounding area, was halfway through raising an eyebrow to correct you - when he realised the joke. “HA. Lose.” Again, you said nothing, maintaining innocence. If that was the conclusion he wanted to jump to - correct or otherwise. For a minute or so you thought you'd get away with it, until you found your left hip bumped by not just one, but all three of his swords - which caught across your ankle for good measure, so his timing must have been impeccable. You paused your walk for a moment, looking across to him, clearly unimpressed. Rubbing your side with your free hand. Zoro merely shrugged, voice once again level. "Sorry." His first thought had really been to muss your hair or something, but that would have meant dropping your hand, and he really didn't want to let that go. It was also the perfect excuse when his swords were between you. In honesty you thought you probably did deserve some retaliation. "Maybe you should walk on the other side of me." "Not exactly my first thought, swordsman." Maybe you would have held his hand otherwise, but this had started practically... Now it was turning more romantic. Even if the words weren't. "If you had yours that wouldn't happen." "If I had mine things would be worse - probably for me." Considering you wore yours on your left hip you probably would have had to walk on his other side... "Yeah, that’s you up against me.” (It didn’t cross your mind he would be talking about anything except sword fighting until later.) “What!? I can’t believe you’d-” What did that have to do with anything!? “Name one time you’ve ever beaten me….” You remained silent. “Exactly.” Something within you felt determined to get him back for that comment - such had your friendship always been before it had become a relationship. “You know when I said that I bet what happened with Mihawk was awful for you and I was sorry you had to go through it?” Zoro almost smirked following your train of thought, “What? Not exactly feeling that right now?” The smile you gave him in response was crooked, “Yeaaah…”

So, his only option was to one up you, “Okay, well, next time how about I just put my sword through you instead of just barely grazing you. The AUDACITY!? This time he raised a gasp from you. You turned to retaliate, but funnily enough at the exact same time you gripped his hand a little tighter - this was play fighting. “Just barely—!? You call this just barely grazing!? I damn well needed stitches! It’s going to leave a mark!” Zoro listened, body half turned into yours, but he wasn't looking at you, continuing to stare in the direction you were walking. He simply indicated to his chest; 'really!?'. You knew you had no option but to drop it then - because fair enough. But there was still a deep cut across your left shoulder blade that he had left there. Instead, you sighed gently, turning back to the lights glittering off the water, everything was getting steadily louder as you got ever closer. You smiled again, “It’s okay. I know I’m the 5th wheel here…” Zoro frowned momentarily at your math; mentally counting the crew, before he realised you were talking about his swords. He shook his head in response, lacing his fingers with yours.

You weren’t quite sure how this had happened in the first place. It also wasn't meant to be like you were sneaking around behind the crew’s backs, you just weren't ready to be out in the open yet. You'd both been bounty hunters; Zoro mostly worked alone but very occasionally you had worked together. Had a couple of other good bounty hunting buddies too – and the four of you were a decent team. It hadn't taken long for you to develop a crush on him - and as a swordswoman yourself you were in awe of his skills. It was something you only ever strived to get better at. You'd pushed that crush back a long time ago in favour of friendship - after all, unless you were going to team up permanently (not his thing.) there was not much point in getting serious about it. Added to that, Zoro never at all seemed interested in romance. You had been content to just keep seeing him around. That was until rumours started flying around the community that the great Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro was now a pirate himself. Had joined a crew and everything. At first you had simply laughed it off as ridiculous. That must have been some other guy calling himself 'Roronoa Zoro' because there was no way in hell the man you knew was going to do that. How wrong you were, sufficiently curious to follow the rumours along until you both ended up on the same island. And sure enough there he was - with a crew calling themselves the Straw Hats. A crew you now found yourself a part of, having practically begged him to teach you after he'd kicked your ass yet again. (Like you weren't about to miss a bounty hunting opportunity - even if it was him.) Now you were, as you had pointed out to him earlier, a humble student.

The relationship element was new. You knew you weren't sure who or what started it, but it happened and it just felt like a good natural progression. Neither of you were really pushing that relationship aspect currently. You were close for sure, and you always kept close. ALL the time. (And if anyone on the crew was suspicious, they didn't call it out.) You held hands after training... When you were alone. It never progressed much further than that. Passed a confession and the agreement that you were, indeed, a couple.

Yet here you were, Zoro was not protesting holding your hand on the way to the party. And hadn't he just been the one to link your fingers in this way? That hadn't been you.

Stepping up from the dock onto the port side you were both bathed in light. It went from just the two of you to apparently everyone else in the world who had descended on the little town. You weren’t sure where to look – there was so much to take in. The bustle of the people – of all ages – was secondary to the bright colours all around. Shops, restaurants, bars, and their patrons spilled out onto the streets – covered in bright neon decorations and constantly glittering lights. In the central square ahead of you, music played from an elevated platform; even from here neither of you could tell if it was a live band playing or simply amplified through a sound system, only that the gathering of people around it were dancing. All down either street was a collection of booths selling various foods, drinks, wears and even offering games to play, each one looking as busy as the next and all dressed in the same bright colours as the permanent stores. Happy voices called out to each other: both friends and merchant alike. It was more like a festival than a party and you wondered quietly if that was actually what you had stumbled upon. There was so much to see and do, standing up on the street you almost weren’t sure what to give your attention to first: but you knew it was going to be a fun evening. Zoro could feel the energy from the party hit you instantly; if he didn’t know any better, he would say you were vibrating – you had an entirely different buzz about you than you had 2 seconds ago walking with him down here. He could feel it all through your connected hands, see it in the way your eyes were almost sparkling (though, that could have been the reflection of the lights). This was your domain; you were as in your element here as he was with three swords.

Zoro instinctively pulled you closer - if you didn't want to lose him in the crowd this was the only way. "You know where they are?" "In case you didn't notice - which you did - I wasn't the one looking out for them!" "Right... Stay close. Don't let go." He pulled you forward, and tonight you decided you would just trust him with directions. The 'don't let go' hit different though; if he was going to drop your hand at any point it would be now - not only in a very public place, but the chance of any of the crew happening upon you at any second. You almost wondered aloud if it might have been due to him spending his time waiting for you drinking; loosening up a bit. It would have made sense, but it didn't seem like it. Zoro was going to the party for alcohol. If he had it on him back at the ship, why would he bother? Unless...

You were snapped from that thought by suddenly being pulled in another direction. Finding yourself steered towards a building labelled 'Bar.' Figures he'd be able to find that with no issue. You continued scanning the crowds; the crew must have been around, but also at this point were long gone to you. And Zoro was clearly interested in drinking, pushing the door open with the most enthusiasm you'd seen out of him all night. But he wasn't just holding your hand for the sake of holding it. He knew men. You had dressed up for this because you had a social side. If he didn't clearly indicate who you were with, you were as likely to end up in trouble as anything. Another reason to keep those swords on hand; if anyone dared try anything he was sending clear signals. In the bar the crowds were even more dense, and you moved closer to him, free hand coming across your body to touch his arm; if you were going to hold his hand any tighter it might actually hurt. Still, Zoro couldn't help his little smile. You scanned the gathering more, swallowing hard at the realisation of how many eyes were suddenly on you. Drawn not just to yourselves, but also more closely to the points of connection between you and your entwined fingers. Your gaze flicked back to him, still solely focused on leading you to the bar - if Zoro had noticed this attention, he paid it no mind. You almost envied that. You were very aware of how gorgeous he was - you weren’t blind! You were unlikely to be the first or only girl to ever have fallen for this man. You were just the lucky one that had him…. Somehow! If you were any other girl in this room, you'd be jealous, too.

After what felt like an age, you finally made it to the edge of the bar. He brought your twined fingers up to it, unlinking your hands but keeping them close, leaning forward to try to find the barkeep. At this point the aged wood was littered with empty glasses and bottles. You hoped for the sake of your partner the whole bar wasn't already dry. Without even asking you were both presented with a beer, "Ahh! What can I get the lovely young couple then, eh? First one is on the house!" Zoro was clearly irked by the descriptor - but got straight to the point, "What have you got? Bottle of your best...?" He waited for the suggestion. "Well, uh, I'll have to see, sir! I would expect most things are out by now, but I'm sure I can find something." "Okay. Then," Zoro's sigh was deep, like he was trying not to think about it being the only reason he came down here. "I'll have a bottle of whatever you have left!" He turned to you, look pointed, "Clearly, we are late to the party."

You were about to commend him on just the one - realising suddenly you were going to quickly become the 6th wheel in this relationship to alcohol - when you were interrupted by the overly loud calls of your captain. "HEEEYYY!! ZORO! Y/N!!!" You barely had time to turn before Luffy was throwing his arms around you and pulling you together in a three-way hug, "Where did you go!? We were worried about you guys!" "Ah, blame her. She takes too long!" You punched Zoro's arm playfully, but you returned your hand to resting next to his on the bar. Luffy said nothing - likely oblivious as ever; but you could bet if one person in the crew didn't care, it would be him. Luffy grinned, "Well it doesn't matter! You're both here now! Ahh you gotta try the food, it's so good!" You turned back to the busy room, watching everyone else laughing and joking together. Luffy and Zoro followed your eyeline. Zoro's hand brushed against yours for your attention before he nudged you, "Go on." "W-what about you!?" You whipped back, a little too quick to protest. Luffy looked between you. "I'll be fine here. Besides, I can keep an eye on you from the bar. That's what you want to be here for, go have fun." Fun definitely didn't seem like the word Zoro would use, but this wasn't about him. It was about you. You looked to the bottle of beer you'd been given and pushed it towards him, "Here, just in case they can't find you anything else. I think you need it more than me!" Turning to Luffy you smiled sweetly, rubbing his shoulder, "Look after him for me!" "I will do!" Luffy grinned, Zoro just shook his head. But you knew he had everything he needed right there. You let your eyes linger on his and focused on that touch for just a moment longer, before you slipped from under the arm of your captain and went to make yourself sociable with the other crew and townsfolk. Surely Usopp, Nami and Sanji were in here somewhere... Glancing back over your shoulder you watched Luffy take your place, chatting excitedly to his first mate. He had Zoro's full attention; it made your laugh to yourself. You were going to end up so many wheels back you might as well have not been in this relationship...!

You were social, it was one of your greatest strengths. It was easy to make friends. It made it easy to get information. That was how you used to do your bounty hunting. You could talk to anyone and everyone easily. You liked listening to people's life stories - hearing about all the places they were visiting. The islands you’d landed on; about what there was to do in the area, even if you never went yourself. You liked talking about the tiny East Blue island you'd grown up on. You had enough stories from sailing across the East Blue yourself. And you could twist the crews’ stories into something a little less... Pirate-y. You always enjoyed it, you always had fun. If someone asked you to dance, you would. If someone wanted to drink with you, you were down. Tonight... Tonight you realised that even in your element, you were not having fun. Not as much fun as you wanted. Not alone.

You hadn't thought about it before. Hadn't considered when you were getting ready that it would ever be the case. You expected to have a good time with the crew - your relationship and anything that might happen with it tonight was an added bonus to something you loved doing. But in the middle of the conversation, you couldn't help realising how much you didn't want to be there. At least... Not in the company of these people.

You looked back over your shoulder to the bar, and were almost surprised to see not only was Zoro alone once more (you would have put money on either Luffy dragging him along, or Luffy dragging everyone else over to him), but he was staring at you. Clearly, he wasn't going to take his eyes off you tonight. When Zoro said he was keeping an eye on you he meant it. And maybe he’d never say it out loud, but with you looking like this, that wasn’t the only reason. The two bottles besides him were finished. But whatever the bar man had managed to find him was unopened. He turned slowly to it, before wrapping his fingers around the neck and dragging it off the bar. Gesturing with it towards you, before tipping his head back towards the ship. You smiled, and suddenly it was the happiest you had felt all evening. In that moment you knew exactly where you wanted to be. And tonight, where you would rather find yourself.

He met you by the door as you politely excused yourself from the conversation, this time taking his other hand and making sure to walk on his left. The knowing smile on Zoro's face indicated he knew you were learning. A tiny piece of your felt bad, as he opened the door back into the night air - the crowd was a little thinner, but the party was still in full swing. It felt like you were bailing, you'd been late and you were leaving almost immediately. But it wasn't as if people could say you hadn't turned up. Luffy at the very least had seen both of you there. But there was something inside you that stirred in excitement at the thought of sneaking back to the Merry with a bottle...

If you had gone at a snail’s pace to get here, you practically ran back. Or you would have thought you had, considering how giggly and breathless you were, despite not having drunk at all tonight. Yet. With the bottle in his hand that was clearly going to change. Zoro removed his sword belt, propping them up against the wooden railing of the ship, before blowing out a breath and settling beside them; back up against a pillar, he stretched his legs out in front of him, placing the bottle between them. You shook your head, sitting yourself down in front of him with a grin. At least out here it was quiet, the air was cooler. Zoro closed his eyes for a moment, tipping his head back; allowing you to trace the lines of his face. His jaw and down his neck, up over his broad shoulders and down his toned arms, to his fingers. You thought for a moment about the skilful way he could un- and re-sheath his swords. How any just-so movement with his fingers would move those blades to make perfect strikes. You hadn't been present for the fight with Mihawk that had made the scar across his chest. That was a little too much to think about, but the shirt you were coordinating with tonight exposed enough of his chest for a part of it to be visible... But you still couldn't imagine Zoro losing. Even when you could imagine just how incredible the 'World’s Greatest Swordsman' was.

You bit your lip, thinking about your earlier jab, and suddenly felt terrible. "Hey, Zoro..." "Mhm..." He initially kept his eyes closed and head tipped back, but when you didn't continue, he changed his position to look at you. With your eyes and expression a little guilt ridden; he couldn't help tipping his head in confusion. You took a breath, and although it seemed like you wanted to look away from him, you didn't: "What I said earlier about the Mihawk fight... You know I didn’t mean it, right?” Zoro almost chuckled - that was debatable. But he had known you was joking with him. "Y/N, you worry too much." "But I still-" "Of course, I do." It's what you wanted to hear - so he would satisfy that. You sat back on your hands with a smile, this time voice a little sweeter; "And what I said about being with you being scenic… you know I did mean it, right?” You had realised the hilarity of saying every route with him was the scenic one, and that depending on how you'd said it, how it could have been either a sarcastic tease on his sense of direction or a very smooth romantic flirt. Internally you'd kicked yourself for not realising sooner and now - despite it being obvious at the time which you were going for - you wondered which way he’d actually taken it… Zoro cracked a grin, clearly he'd noticed it too. “Oh. You mean I am the view.” Even though, by the look on his face, you knew Zoro understood you hadn’t meant it that way. Yet, you couldn't help but blush a little, “Glad we could agree.” “That would be a first…” You were compelled; you leaned forward and smacked his leg. It was likely always going to be a knee-jerk reaction to his teasing. That just made him chuckle, and he picked up the bottle again, cracking it open. "Should I get some glasses?" "Glasses?" Zoro scoffed, "Hell no. Now c'mere." He beckoned you forwards.

You couldn't help being intrigued, but as you moved to the side of him, Zoro grabbed your waist, pulling you to sit between his legs. For a minute you struggled, both shrieking and laughing, pushing against him enough that he had to physically hold you in place. You relented, giggles still rising in your chest as his arms wound around your waist. Head propped back against his chest you looked up at him. "Okay fine, you win!" "I'll just chalk yet another one up." "Ah, keep them, I'm never beating you." "Wow." He smirked again, "Did we just agree on two things? Careful, Y/N, we might be on a roll!" You nudged his face with your palm, "Hush!" Causing Zoro to grab your hand and interlink your fingers again. The movement caused his piercings to run together, making them chime softly. You focused on them dancing for a moment, unable to help yourself from reaching out and making the gold ring together again. Zoro simply shook his head at you, picking up the bottle he'd just opened (and somehow in all that hadn't spilled everywhere.) and taking a sip. "Whatever helps you amuse yourself." "One per sword?" "I'm not even answering that." "Hey, it's a valid question!" After all, you had a multitude of piercings in both your ears and didn't carry nearly that many weapons. He ignored you, holding the bottle out. You accepted it gratefully and read the label; "Any good?" "It's alcohol, even the bad stuff is good." "Yeah, no," you sighed, "that sounds like you." You took a drink and concluded that this one was indeed, pretty good. Taking another sip, he smacked the top of your thigh, "Hey! No drinking the whole bottle, I waited too long to get that one!" You almost choked, "And you won't get any if you make me spill the damn thing!" "You do that, I'll be throwing you overboard and telling the crew you elected to stay in town." "Thing is I wouldn't put it past you..." You handed the bottle back to Zoro, making yourself comfortable against his body, "I'm just saying a good boyfriend wouldn't do that." You heard Zoro huff a laugh as he lifted the bottle to his lips again, "Ah, I never promised to be one of those." "What? A good boyfriend?" "That's the one." "Well. A girl can dream." "That's all you'll be doing." You let out a laugh then, a full-blown belly laugh. "I know you're determined to ruin this, but you can't. It's not happening. This is exactly what I wanted." "Me?" But he left it there, fingers of the hand not holding the bottle finding yours again.

You sat in silence for a moment, the only sound your breathing and the back and forth of the liquid in the bottle every time he took a drink. Further back, the dull hum of the party, and the waves lapping at the side of the Merry. Inspecting the bottle once more Zoro realised it was nearly empty. Looking down at you in his arms he realised your eyes were closed. "Hey..." He tried softly, so not to wake you if you were asleep. "Mmm?" Your response let him know that even if you weren’t, you weren’t far off. "You want any more of this?" "Oh, no." You shuffled a little more, head moving to his shoulder, opening more of your body to the warmth of his, Zoro found himself pulling his legs in closer to aid you with this. "It's yours. You said it yourself; it was hard to come by. And I know it was the only reason you were going anywhere near the party." He stared at you for a moment, and then between you and the bottle. Your eyes were closed, so you didn't see his next soft smile. "Well, maybe it wasn't the only reason." You didn't respond, but he saw the smile on your face grow.

By the time he'd finished the drink you were asleep, and even when he moved himself to get a little more comfortable - careful with you still in his arms - you didn't wake. He'd have to be vigilant, glancing to his swords... Just in case anyone did think they were about to come on here and try to mess with you, or the ship. Come to think of it, where were yours...? ‘Ah forget it, I could handle it myself.’ He looked back down to you, peaceful. Pressed up against him, Zoro suddenly noticed how warm you were. How the air had a distinct chill to it the later into the night it became. (Heck, maybe it was early morning now. But there was no way of knowing - especially with none of your crewmates around.) Delicately he brushed some of your hair out of your face, before pressing his lips fleetingly to your forehead. Closing his eyes, he propped his head on top of yours, position of his body protective to your smaller form. He almost laughed to himself - when the hell did something like this happen? "Goodnight, Y/N..." * * *

It was not the scene the crew expected to return to, that was for sure. Looking between each other and trying to determine who might have had any indication that you were in any way a “thing.” Clearly, you and Zoro had been just that good at keeping it under wraps. Not that it mattered much now; nothing could have been more obvious! “What. The. Hell!?” Sanji was the first one to gain anything near composure enough to talk - although not composure in general. Nami and Usopp had to move quickly to hold him back; “I’m going to KILL that moss-head!” “Sanji! No! Wait!!”

Nami internally cursed herself for not being the first one on the ship. If she had been, she could have kept the rest of them away and would have had pretty good ammo for blackmailing you both for Berri. Ah well, no good thinking too much on that now. “I, for one, think it’s sweet.” Sanji scoffed. “Maybe she’ll lighten him up a little! God knows he needs that. Always so damn serious! And unsociable! I would welcome that change.” “Not with her though!” Sanji made another noise of discontent, making Nami sigh. As if Sanji would be fine with Zoro being with any other woman – on this crew or otherwise? She looked back to the scene; cuddled up together and sleeping soundly. It was late - maybe even early - and the air was much cooler than it had been before, rolling in from the sea. “Can one of you get a blanket? Last thing we need is either of them catching a cold!” Luffy - who had just been staring at you up until now, trying to add it all up in his head; it would explain how close you were at the bar but also… - suddenly sprang into life: “I’LL DO IT!” Nami grabbed him, clamping her hand over his mouth, “Stop yelling you idiot! You’ll wake them up!” Sanji actually thought that was a great idea - but he wasn’t exactly the person who was going to go against Nami’s wishes.

Luffy’s version of quiet was more of a shouted whisper, and he sounded out his words in their syllables for emphasis. “Sorry. I’ll get it!” Nami placed her hand against her forehead watching him walk off in big slow steps - she truly was surrounded by idiots. It was a good thing she loved them.

By the time he came back, she’d managed to successfully move Usopp and Sanji on. And once he handed her what she’d asked for, she began ushering Luffy away (which, considering him, ended up only being a few feet further back.) Rolling her eyes, Nami sighed again, unfurling the blanket, and throwing it carefully over you both. She tucked it as much as she thought she’d get away with before it woke you up and stood back admiring her handy work.

Luffy looked between you and her, “Soooo… will they be alright now?!” “I think so…” Nami turned to him, and pushed, “Now will you get out of here and give them some quiet!” “Well, what about you!?” “I’m leaving too! Honestly—!” “Okaaaaay….!!” He protested as if he wasn’t protesting and walked away.

But when Nami turned back, she almost jumped. Zoro’s eyes were open, and he was staring at her. From the expression on his face, she couldn’t tell if he was impressed or not. She decided she’d probably rather not enquire. After a little while of unnerving her on purpose, Zoro closed his eyes again. But he spoke, voice quiet. “Thanks, Nami.” She smirked, because this was her chance. He’d just left that door wide open and she wasn’t missing the opportunity. “You’re welcome. But you guys owe me!” He sighed - knew it! - this much more of discontent, “Of course.”

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One swordsman down, two to go! 😁 💚🖤💛