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#and if we are??? my god they are not doing a great job
erinwantstowrite · 3 days
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WIP Game
Rules: You will be given a word. Share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.
Tagged by @cerealboxlore
My Word: Marvel
I decided to use chapter 16 of LoF for this because I've been working on it today teehee
M- "Maybe because it was because Peter was introducing Loki and Dick for the first time, and he remembered what the Bats thought about the God."
A- "Also, it would make Thor sad, so I’d ask that you not kill Loki. Because you totally could, I believe you.”
R- Resurrection?
V (I don't have a V sentence 😔💔)
E- "Everyone needs backup at some point, fighting alone doesn’t help anyone. But especially someone Peter’s age. He’s done a great job at taking care of himself and this situation, but that doesn’t mean he has to. We’re more than happy to take some of the burden. And this is how we operate. If you don’t like it, or if your Avengers don’t like it, then they can take it up with me.”
L- Loki got a kick out of that part of the story. At one point, he created an illusion of little action-figure sized Batman, Robin, Nightwing, and Spider-Man on the dashboard, and had them re-enact the scene as best as Peter could tell it. “For the visuals.” Loki had smirked. And he had asked Dick, “What do you think? They look just like the real thing, no?” To which Dick had replied “Why did you make my head so big?” and Loki had sworn that his head just looks that big normally and he ‘Didn’t do anything to the illusion, really, Grayson, do you think so little of me?’ Which made Dick’s eye twitch.
I'm tagging @mockingjaylad !!! :3 your word is "BIRD"
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calirph · 2 days
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𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒.
Desired Pregnancies
"I prayed for this child, and the gods have finally answered."
"The midwife says the baby is strong. Our family will grow, just as we hoped."
"After all these years, we will finally have an heir."
"You’ve given me the greatest gift I could ever ask for—a son or daughter to carry on our name."
"I can already feel the baby moving, a sure sign of a healthy child."
"Our child will be the future of this house. I couldn’t be happier."
"We’ve been blessed, my love. Soon, we will hold our little one in our arms."
"The child will unite our lands, just as we dreamed."
"The maesters say all is well. You and the babe are thriving."
"We will raise the child together, with all the love and care we dreamed of."
Accidental Pregnancies Out of Marriage
"I never meant for this to happen. What will the people say?"
"If my father finds out I’m with child, he’ll disown me."
"What are we to do? A child born out of wedlock will ruin everything."
"I don’t know whose child it is, and that terrifies me."
"How can I face him? I’ve brought shame upon our house with this."
"I never wanted this, not like this, not before marriage."
"We must hide this, at least until we can figure out what to do."
"A child born in secret… this could destroy us both."
"Will he even acknowledge the child? What if he denies it?"
"I don’t know how to tell my family. They’ll never forgive me."
Worried Pregnancies
"The maester said it might be too early to tell if the child will survive."
"I’ve heard stories of women who don’t make it through childbirth."
"I fear the baby isn’t moving as much as it should."
"There’s been blood, just a little, but I’m terrified of what it means."
"What if the baby doesn’t survive the winter? The cold is so cruel."
"I’ve had strange pains, and I fear the worst."
"The midwives are worried, and that frightens me."
"What if the child is born weak, or worse, stillborn?"
"The last birth nearly took my life. I fear this one will finish the job."
"He’ll want an heir, but what if I can’t give him one?"
Happy Pregnancies
"I feel so full of life, as if the baby brings light to my every day."
"Every flutter, every kick brings me such joy."
"I can’t wait to meet our little one. The anticipation is the sweetest feeling."
"The baby’s room is ready, and the whole castle is abuzz with excitement."
"I love feeling the little movements, like a secret between me and the child."
"We are surrounded by love and family. This child will be so blessed."
"The midwife says the birth will go smoothly, and I feel so at peace."
"I already love this child more than I thought possible."
"I feel as though I’m glowing with happiness."
"Our baby will be the pride of our house, I just know it."
Confused or Ambivalent Pregnancies
"I didn’t expect this, not so soon. I don’t know how to feel."
"Am I ready to be a mother? I still feel so young."
"I thought I’d be overjoyed, but all I feel is uncertainty."
"I don’t know if I’m meant to be a mother. The thought scares me."
"I should be happy, shouldn’t I? But I’m not sure what I want."
"I don’t know how to raise a child in these troubled times."
"It’s a blessing, or at least that’s what they keep telling me."
"Do I even want this? I thought I did, but now…"
"I thought we had more time before this happened."
"I know I should feel joy, but all I feel is dread."
Desired Pregnancies (continued)
"The gods have smiled on us; this child will change everything for our house."
"I’ve dreamt of this moment for so long, and now it’s finally here."
"We will raise our child with all the love this world has to offer."
"This baby is our future, a symbol of our love."
"It’s a sign—a sign that our family is destined for greatness."
"Our child will grow strong, and together we will lead them."
"I cannot wait to hold our child for the first time."
"This child is everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I prayed for."
"We will have a child to continue our legacy."
"Our bloodline will be stronger with this new life."
Accidental Pregnancies Out of Marriage (continued)
"The scandal will ruin us both, but what else can we do?"
"If the court finds out, I’ll be cast out, or worse."
"I never meant to betray the vows of marriage, but now there’s a child involved."
"He said he loved me, but now there’s a child, and I fear he will leave."
"I must hide the pregnancy, at least until I can flee."
"The church will condemn us, and the court will never accept the child."
"I’ll be shunned if they find out, but what can I do with this child growing inside me?"
"How will I protect the child when I can barely protect myself?"
"A child born of sin, and yet… I still want it."
"This baby wasn’t planned, but I’m starting to love it already."
Worried Pregnancies (continued)
"The midwife said there could be complications. I don’t know what to do."
"I’ve been so ill lately, I worry about the child’s health."
"The roads are dangerous, and I don’t know if I’ll make it to the midwife in time."
"The maesters fear the worst, and I’m trying not to lose hope."
"I’ve already lost two children, and I fear this one will follow."
"The child’s movements have slowed, and my heart is heavy with fear."
"The castle is preparing for a siege, and I’m afraid I won’t survive the birth."
"The baby feels too still. What if something is wrong?"
"They say childbirth is the most dangerous thing a woman can face, and I fear I am not ready."
"I have been so weak; I fear for both the child and myself."
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pkmn-monochrome · 2 days
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This is an OOC ask too to hopefully help the concern? I PROMISE IM NOT A MANIPULATIVE ASSHOLE ABUSER IM A WRITER PLEASE DEAR GOD!!!!!!!! Also! Somebody's gotta play mean here and there, its what keeps gears turning. Not everyone is going to directly side with Cody and understand them. Sometimes you need conflict, it can't be sunshine and roses and everyone Agrees with Cody every time. And hell, without conflict like that, how are we going to get the moments like Cody seeing the auroras? I really loved that moment, it was sweet, sometimes the bad moments can make the good moments all the more fonder. Also I wanted to state... not every interaction that's a fight like that between two people is inherently abusive, people are going to have arguments and harsh words will be thrown along with accusations, especially since both see the other as strangers, some people aren't going to trust Cody and are going to be harsh and rude about it the same way Cody has been. Some are going to mirror how Cody treats them. What I was going for was Directly Vindictive and Harsh, the fact that you are worried about that shows that I did my job right, and as they said, if Sparks couldn't handle I would hope they would just ignore the ask and hell maybe even say to tone it down. TDLR: Not everyone is going to be especially kind and endeared to Cody, some people are going to act out just the same as they do. AND I AM A WRITER NOT AN ABUSER. PLEASE. The point of this ask is uh: I like to think I know my limits, I stick to the rules and only do what is allowed. It doesn't feel too great being compared to an abuser when I am just trying to help move a story forward. I am not abusive for being mean to a fictional character, and I am in no way attempting to be mean to Sparks when I do so. Sorry about the Novel, I just wanted to help clear some things up, because this has happened before with one of my purposefully persecutory asks and hoo boy! it doesn't feel too great that it's happening again. I promise I am not trying to hurt Sparks. I just like conflict in stories and how the characters react to such conflicts. Okay, I'm done, Sorry again about the novel sparks just wanted to explain for the people that got worried about my asks.
[Agreed. Abusive asks are what keep this blog's ball rolling. Without them, we never would have met PIKACHU, BLASTOISE, or even found out about the hacker's death. While CODY's abuse was not necessary in-universe, it was necessary from a narrative standpoint.]
[I do not believe the words or fictional actions of an asker directly reflect them as a person. Even if an asker plays the fictional role of an abuser, like as ANONYMOUS did (e.g. threatening to kill CODY, then getting angry/offended at CODY for taking that death threat seriously), I do not believe that reflects upon their morals in real life scenarios. Threatening to kill a fictional character, in a fictional roleplay scenario, does not mean that asker would ever do or say something like that to a real person. And if this asker was actually holding CODY in their hands in real life, I do not believe they would be saying such intense or harsh things to them.]
[And the inverse is true as well. Just because I am the author of PKMN-MONOCHROME, that does not mean I morally approve of everything CODY says or does. Sometimes, CODY will say harsh and confrontational things out of paranoia or pride, but that does not mean that I as the author would personally lash out at and attack my audience in the same way. If any asker of mine feels personally attacked by the things that CODY says to you, please know and remember that CODY does not speak for me, and their thoughts are not always my own.]
[Please know that I as an author never intend to hurt my audience with CODY's words/actions, and that I trust my audience to do the same for me when sending CODY their questions. Thank you.]
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lailawinchesterr · 9 hours
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—✧ you’re jared padalecki’s non-actor girlfriend
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liked by jaredpadalecki and others
yourusername our vacation was two days and look what i caught him doing @/jaredpadalecki
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jaredpadalecki best vacation❤️
yourusername bro you wouldn’t even know
urbsfusername hottest couple out there
yourusername that’s me & u
urbsfusername no because you’re so right👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
randomacc i can’t believe he’s still with her?? how long have they been together bro what is this
otheracc even worse they’re not even married and he doesn’t post her
anotherone it’s literally been like only two years. chill the fuck out.
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yourusername best dinner, i love you. (and to whoever took the first pic thank u)
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friendusername wow you’re so fucking lucky oh my god jared is gorgeous
jaredpadalecki i agree, who took that pic??
yourusername i wish i knew i found it when i came home and wow
jaredpadalecki because you look gorgeous
yourusername ugh love u
urbsfusername that pic’s unholy fuckkk so pretty
— liked by yourusername
jpadacc he’s so cute with her
randomuser he literally never posts her and her entire feed is about him it’s pathetic
jpadacc jared hardly posts anything that’s not spn/walker/work related anyways, it was the same when he was dating sandy
randomuser yeah but at least sandy had dignity and didn’t keep posting about him she’s definitely using him
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liked by gencortese and others
yourusername this week i got to work on the set of walker and see my incredible boyfriend put to work + i made my first youtube video, as highly requested, me and try gfs cooking. thank you for all these amazing opportunities and celebrations, i’m so grateful to have you in my life, honey — and for everyone else for enjoying my journey💗 @/jaredpadalecki @/gencortese @/urbsfusername @/friendsusername
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jpad love seeing her thrive, about to go watch the video right now!!!
urbsfusername so happy for you baby
jaredpadalecki you deserve it and so much more sweetheart, i’m endlessly proud of you
friendusername getting drunk was my fav part of this
yourusername getting high was mine
fanusername like the fucking icon she is‼️
gencortese you were amazing!
randomacc great now she’s posting him with other girls? she’s so shamless
userone he’s literally an actor for a living, and it’s a cute pic leave her alone
usertwo me personally i would not post my boyfriend and the girl he kisses on my insta
yourfriend that’s one way to admit you’re insecure in your relationships.
userseven your so pretty
— liked by yourusername
violetbrinson loved having you on set
yourusername miss u already baby girl!
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jaredpadalecki @/yourusername took these scary photos of me for her week on set and the video. so proud of you sweetheart, you did an amazing job! don’t forget to tune in to walker on saturday.
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yourusername i love you so much
— liked by jaredpadalecki
gencortese the cutest couple!!
danneelackles can’t wait to see you when you come back 🩷
yourusername can’t wait, de!
randomacc fucking finally at least we know he isn’t embarrassed of her
jpad jared loves her so how about we stfu
userone debatable, he didn’t even respond to her comment & i can’t wait to see the episode she’s literally never acted before how is she going to be good?
jpadfan y’all are assholes fr
jensenackles can’t wait to get to set on walker, better bring her when i’m there😂
jaredpadalecki as if i would miss the chance, miss u guys so much!! — not jared
jtwofan we’re getting jensen on set with her? wow she’s really getting everything while doing nothing
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yourusername happy birthday jay, i love you and i’m so grateful to have you in my life, my biggest supporter and best friend💗
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jaypad him carrying her is so jared
violetbrinson happy birthday jared, honestly the nicest person i’ve ever met!
—liked by jaredpadalecki
jaredpadalecki love you forever🤍
yourusername 🤍🤍
gencortese happy birthday, forever the most fun person on set
—liked by yourusername
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jaredpadalecki birthday dinner with my girl @/yourusername
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yourusername we should go to dubai for ur birthday
jaredpadalecki i second that
danneelackles miss y’all
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masterlist
idk what my obsession with birthdays is, it’s just so easy to do. so um, yeah i kinda like this, hope you enjoyed it!! + inspired by @gibson-g1rl !!
i’m probably gonna do middle eastern gf next cause it’s such a need to self insert AKA the birthday trip is my next post.
violet brinson THE FUCKING LOVE OF MY LIFEE and how the fuck is she older than me? idk i genuinely want her so bad it makes me want to write for stella (i actually might)
tags: @anu-piyakya97
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presumeddeaddie · 3 months
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it’s wild that people are already starting on the “don’t complain about the crumbs they give us they’ll never do it again”. and i’m like. yes, don’t give me crumbs if it’s gonna be crumbs i’d rather starve. give me a meal pls (eddie praying over bobby, karaoke, chris and eddie, madney, henren and their natural chemistry) (or at least give us crumbs that are exciting…).
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cozylittleartblog · 5 months
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if star wars was pitched for the first time in today's entertainment industry it would be turned down. and so would any other thing that's currently a "big IP". where do idiot executives think the IPs come from to begin with???
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selemina · 2 years
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The green names had a terrible time this session! :D
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#so my mom's wake thing was today and that was a lot. not in an emotional sense but in a im standing here talking for 3hrs#to ppl i dont kno or barely kno. ya kno? but it was good bc so many ppl showed up to talk abt her#so many people. my mom made a huge impact on the school system. so many ppl relied on her. she encouraged at least 2 ppl to get their#master. for one person to specilize in helping the dyslexic after her experience advocating for 3 dyslexic daughters. she wrote and was#awarded a 10000 dollar grant for special needs and intervention curriculum. which will affect so many lives.#everyone loved her. she's gonna get a track meet named after her and a scholarship created in her honor.#she was an amazing person and she affected a lot of lives and im glad she was my mom. and she raised at least one jem in my littlest#sister who is so sweet and is a great teacher. god but there was some weird stuff too. were pretty sure her old boss was in love with her.#and there were some weird comments abt her being a strong woman or this woman doing so much and its like hm y do i detect a note of sexism#y not say she was an amazing person? y the surprise? weird comments about how pretty i looked. which yes i looked great lol. my funeral fit#was cute. we did bright colors bc it was a celebration not a dower event. and im sure it was ment well but it was a lil weird. and then#everyone was telling my grandma what a great job she did raising my mom and like god fuck off she didn't do jack. my mom was great despite#her terrible mother. ugh. but altogether it was good that everyone was able to express their love for her. it was def a day that was for#them mostly. i mean partly for us but mostly for them. none of us even cried. ay but we have 2 more parties in her honor#bc everyone loved her so much we have to do one in her hometown too. plus a personal friends get together. ugh. im so tired#i wish i wasnt the most awkward. eye contact avoidant person in the room but like ya kno. what can ya do?#unrelated
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swiftcast-selene · 7 months
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been thinking about how hard MSQ must be on the body, especially for someone who isn't exactly in the best shape of their life. must be hard to keep up with the warrior of light! which ended up in a couple studies of how Negi's carried his weight through the whole adventure, with a couple extra mostly-non-spoilery notes on each expac~
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sorry guys... it's Carol and her fiancé Nathan and their bf Hal...
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nomairuins · 1 month
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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Mel for the unhinged character bingo!
yessss YEEEESSSSSSSSS
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#ask me#so Mel is in the unenviable position of being a very strong character whose rights I support and whose wrongs I also fully support#BUT the way she's treated broadly in the fandom is so pervasive and so consistent and so frustrating to me that#I am in full -must protect my blorbo- mode with her at all times#-Mel's story is over so the only thing left for her to do is die-#-if Mel dies then J can get together with V and they will appreciate her for her sacrifice bc she died a hero who rejected Ambessa-#enough! enough I say!#what about proving to ambessa that she can take the throne for herself? what about the angst of defying her mother and her home country#and opposing those in Piltover who DO want war and want to raze the undercity#what about the magic that she's heavily foreshadowed to have and how it's different from hextech#and how it directly opposes but also parallels what is happening to Viktor#what about her -friends- abroad and the plot Mel was cooking through all of season 1 that has not been revealed yet#there's so much potential for her to have to confront the fact that J was slowly becoming a monster through season 1#and that she can't ignore the undercity forever#also what if whoever Ambessa says killed her brother comes after Mel too!#it is very frustrating to see Mel get dismissed as dead or evil or irredeemable or whatever when she is consistently#the most interesting person in the room in every single scene she's in and the character who shows the most conviction and change#so yeah i will take a bullet for her she is my blorbo I will despise any character who hurts her#and I would cradle her in my arms if she gave me a chance - which she would never! - but a girl can dream#however I also enjoy leaning into the idea that Mel is perceived as being a devil from the outside - Mel leans into it too when it serves#but it's in direct opposition to her ironclad values and the personality that she keeps hidden a layer down#I genuinely think that Mel will have a happy ending - or at least as happy an ending that an Arcane character can get lol#like I fully believe she will take the throne (Piltover) in the end but I can only guess at this point what that will cost her#I love putting Mel in situations but mainly to play with both how creative she can get and also how fucking far she will go to win#which is ANOTHER thing we know is probably true about Mel but has not been put on display yet#also Mel has already done a great job at separating what she wants for herself as a person from just being Ambessa's daughter#but Mel still deserves to get plenty of great therapy for that situation because OH GOD THAT CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK#also Kino is dead? maybe dead?? at least Mel fully believes he's dead so she needs therapy and hugs for that too#I am super normal about her can you tell
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bragganhyl · 1 year
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One day I'll get my braincells together and put it to paper how the pillars of eternity games manage to make the player feel powerful without making the Watcher a power fantasy character but like... this is not that day
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moinsbienquekaworu · 2 months
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I just spent like 20 minutes thinking about soup
#i need to move out!!!!#i love my parents to be clear they're great#i just want to be in charge of my own meals again#it's not that they're bad at feeding me stuff i want to eat it's just we like different things#when it's just me i can make my soup however i want and no one's gonna say anything#Because It's My Soup#i can eat japanese chicken curry for a week straight! no one cares!#i just need to get better at eating vegetables#i want my own kitchen soooo baaad.....#my mom's sensitive to garlic. do you know how much recipes fuck if you add garlic? severely. and i can't if she's gonna eat it#i need my own kitchen so bad so so bad pleeaase#really hoping that i get my degree within like two months#and then i have to. urgh. find a job. but then i find a job and i go there#and i get Paid! money!#and once i have some money in the bank and a long term job i can try and get a flat#and once i have a flat i have my own kitchen i can order stuff online if i want and i can adopt a cat#i can have friends over i can decorate#and if i can swing it i'll be a civil servant#and if i'm lucky enough i can perhaps. give up the next 30 years of my life to a bank so i can own my own flat#god i hope. i fucking hope. i really really want to own#like not for landlord bullshit. just so i don't have to worry about where to go in a year two years five years#i want a civil servant job because that's for life and i would love to do the same thing forever#and i want to own a flat because i could make the space fit my needs and wants perfectly#and i wouldn't have to worry about where to live or old age or whatever#good luck to me finding a well situated 2 bedroom flat in one of the if not the worst city of france in terms of housing :)#but hey i've been lucky in life. maybe it'll keep going#i know what i want early! that's good#i shouldn't have a realisation that i want kids at 30yo or whatever. I Shall Not Become My Mom#ANYWAY i need my own kitchen!!!!!#wow i have a ramble tag now
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kimtaegis · 7 months
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haven’t had such a nice day in so long
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kyuala · 11 months
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SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything
#this aint exactly s******* but it aint exactly not s******* either#anyways it gets even harder when i have to live under the same roof as my brother who is so much better than me in every single conceivable#and imaginable way possible like#and i knowwww a LOT of it comes down to us having relatively similar yet wildly different lives despite being 1.5y apart and having the sam#family our entire lives like he has gone through NOTHING and i mean not a single societal issue ive had to face and endure my entire life#he's a man im a woman. he's white im black. he's straight im gay. he's skinny ive always been 'overweight'. he's always been the good#christian kid ive always had issues w faith and religion. he's never been mentally ill i was clinically depressed for nearly 8yrs of my lif#we both lost the same parent and im the only one who got pathological grief and a personality disorder out of it. he's had a great job for#the last 7yrs that now pays him 20k+ every month ive only had 3 odd jobs my entire life and 2 of those my MOTHER had to give me so i would#have SOMETHING and ive never made over 1.6k monthly n my last job was minimum wage only#he's had like 4 relationships and is nearly engaged im so traumatized + emotionally unavailable ive only ever been on 1 date my entire life#he has a good relationship w every family member we have i have Issues w like half the family. he's always been an active member of our#church i can barely listen to like 4 traditional hymns before i start losing my mind and spiraling. i think the only two ways we're pretty#much equal like socially is that we're both able bodied cis and christians but still the cis and christian thing is debatable for previousl#stated reasons so like. do yall see how much better he is doing than me in every little last area in life and how he's always gotten the#long straw when it comes to Not having to deal w certain obstacles in life. n i know its like yea idk what it actually is like to be him an#he could not be doing all that well first of all shut up. second of all if it was 1 or 2 things i'd get it but it's literally EVERYTHING#and i know bc of said things n our v different lives it's unfair to me to compare the two of us but then it begs the question: WHY#WHY did i have to go through these things. WHY do i have to deal w this. WHY did i get the short straw literally every goddamn time#WHY did i have to get THIS life like WHYYYYY why ME GOD. why have I had to put up w all this bullshit for 24 fucking years!!!!!!!!! im TIRE#and this is not me hating or resenting him i know it's not his fault and he is so good to me#but still. why was i left with these things? to live like this?#so yes i guess i do envy him a little bit. who wouldn't#mari.txt#personal#tw negative#dl#btw i do NOT mean some identities are better than others. i mean he is better and is doing better than me in life partially bc he's never#had to deal w certain social issues and obstacles that come w oppressed identities.
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