#and if u work 12h every day

[jenscx]

KISS ME MORE — ning yizhuo

tldr: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.

tags fluff, crack, jealousy, non-idol au, roommates, based off that one reddit story, short fic, dialogue heavy, mentions of jmj, hi yunjin! tw for oblivious ning, pacing’s weird kinda

wordcount 5.2k

🎙️ author’s note: happy birthday ning! late fic ik… but i’ve been busy (i’m sorry 😞) hope our dearest main vocal stays happy for the rest of her life! can’t imagine aespa without her 🤍 happy reading~

r/relationships posted by

u/throwawaylizard 16 hours ago.

TLDR: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.

i am currently roommates with this girl, A. we've been staying together ever since we graduated and we’re very close. sometimes we’ll even jokingly flirt with each other but she knows i’m straight and she has never made me uncomfortable before. i’m a foreigner and A has definitely helped me grow accustomed to the culture here. i owe it all to her. which is why i’m confused about my feelings right now.

i’ve never thought of myself to be discriminatory towards anyone and i always welcomed those different from me, regardless of their sexual orientation. however, recently my roommate has come out to me. i supported her and didn’t think much of it after. but here’s where the problem starts. she came back with a girl a few days ago that i recognise from our extended friend group. i have nothing against gay people but when i saw the girl, i just felt so upset. at first i thought it was because i was in a bad mood and all i wanted was to cuddle with A, but afterwards, A would progressively get more touchy with that girl (lets call her Y). every time i would see them, i just felt bad. i wanted to puke at the sight.

i caught them making out on the couch once and i got so pissed off. i think it was because of a rough day but basically when my roommate started to apologise, i just blew her off. Y seemed embarrassed too. i felt really bad afterwards since A was really hurt by my action. she asked me why i was so angry and i just lied saying that something at work made me upset. i don’t want to tell her that it was because seeing her with a girl that i was annoyed.

there was another incident where she brought Y to our weekly game night. all my friends seemed fine with her, except for me. one of my friends, let’s call her M, had to pull me aside to ask what was wrong with me. in that moment, i realised that i was only hurting A and Y by being a jerk. i’m normally a polite person but that day i was being unnecessarily rude to someone i didn’t even know. i chalked it up as wanting only the best for A since she’s a year younger than me and wanting to protect her. she doesn’t really date anyone and she’s very quiet. am i being unreasonable? i really don’t want to be homophobic. i told M all about my feelings of homophobia and she told me that she was dating a girl too. i didn’t know why she brought it up but then she asked if i felt any disgust towards her for being gay. i said no and that her sexual orientation would never change our friendship.

so she asked why do i only feel that way towards A? and i want to extend that question to everyone here too. can someone help? do you have any experience with something like this? i don’t want to lose A as a friend. she’s one of my best friends and i can’t see myself not standing beside her in the future. we’ve been through a lot together and i don’t want this to be the reason why we end our friendship. she’s never once complained about my dating life and it feels hypocritical to do the same to hers. but i just feel queasy whenever she brings up other girls. like i want to bash my head against the wall type.

do i have selective homophobia? can someone help?

⇧ 157 | ⇩ | 89 comments

u/betterthingz01 | 12h

op i hate to break this to you… but i think you might be in love with your roommate.

u/throwawaylizard | 12h

can you elaborate? please!!!

u/flatearther | 11h

Are u sure u don’t have a crush on A? Or that u are straight?

u/throwawaylizard | 10h

uhm well i’m straight… so i don’t think i have a crush on A but if i was into girls, i’d definitely fall in love with her!! she’s really sweet and caring.

u/flatearther | 10h

Oh 😭😭

u/mingmingz | 7h

how do you feel if your roommate brought back a different girl? maybe you just don’t like Y as a person?

u/throwawaylizard | 7h

she used to bring other girls around too i think they were just friends though. i felt the same way but just seeing her kiss Y makes me want to throw up :((

u/blueskies444 | 5h

have u tried talking to ur roommate? i think communication is the best solution here

u/throwawaylizard | 4h

i talked to her a few days ago, asking her if she could stop bringing Y to our hangouts or apartment because it feels weird. our friend group only really consisted of five people and as bad as it sounds, Y just felt like an intruder. she kinda looked at me weird before agreeing. but then she asked if i would be fine if she went to Y’s apartment instead and obviously i said it wasn’t any of my business. A got a little upset and we haven’t been talking recently…

u/blueskies444 | 4h

i’m gonna be real w u for a sec and say that A is most definitely trying to get u jealous

u/throwawaylizard | 3h

why would she do that?

u/blueskies444 | 2h

yeahhh i’m not the one who should tell u why

“ning yizhuo, why am i getting messages from jimin unnie saying that she found your reddit post?” minjeong’s voice shrills out behind yizhuo. the girl shrinks, shivers running down her spine at the thought of anyone finding out about her post. she had resorted to reddit for help after much consideration and even aeri had said that reddit was surprisingly helpful at times.

“that’s not me! you’ve got the wrong person!”

minjeong rolls her eyes and tosses her phone onto yizhuo’s desk, “that’s literally you. ddongie would be upset to know that he’s a throwaway lizard.”

yizhuo instantly protests, “that just means that it isn’t my main account! i didn’t want people to find my real account.”

“oh, so you are throwaway lizard?”

she cowers at minjeong’s intense gaze, knowing that her little slip up just cost her whole facade.

“well the comments were helpful!”

“did you not reread what you typed out?”

minjeong’s genuine tone makes yizhuo hesitate.

“yeah? did i make a lot of spelling mistakes…?”

“no! did you not realise?” minjeong asks again. yizhuo huffs, swerving back around in her chair, “realise what? that i’m a bad friend? y/n hasn’t talked to me in days.”

just as she said in her reddit post, you haven’t spoken a word to her ever since that day she confronted you. yizhuo doesn’t think she was super mean with her words but the way you had reacted made it seemed like she killed your whole family.

she had only said, “hey, can you stop bringing yunjin over?” and her mere words had launched a full-blown argument where you had insinuated that yizhuo was jealous that you had someone to rely on.

it couldn’t have been further from the truth! yizhuo would never be upset about your happiness. any semblance of bitterness had lessened when she saw how bright your smile was or how much you were laughing when yunjin would tell a joke.

(she didn’t find it funny but at least you laughed. yunjin was the epitome of dad jokes. she was not funny.)

“she really hasn’t? wow, she’s determined,” minjeong chuckles.

yizhuo rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to her sketchbook. a few scrawned out designs, nothing much. just to take her mind off this situation for now. the pencil drawings somehow only manages to ensure that her brain constantly thinks about you though. how you encouraged her to enrol in a fashion course and how you were certain that yizhuo would become the biggest designer ever known.

she would giggle at your claims and humour you. now all that was left was your silence.

“why would she be determined to ignore me?” yizhuo asks, sighing, “i was upset but now it just seems like she thinks i don’t want her to be happy.”

minjeong raises an eyebrow, “what did the comments say? did they help?”

yizhuo huffs just thinking about the reddit comments. none of them really helped her to identify her feelings. just stating that she was gay and in love. both wrong!

“they said i’m in love with y/n and i’m jealous of yunjin,” she answers coolly, trying not to get too worked up over the false accusations.

minjeong winces, “do you think they’re right?”

yizhuo furrows her eyebrows.

“no?! i’m not gay!”

“but do you like y/n?”

“no! she’s just a very good friend!”

the brunette sighs, “that’s what they all say.”

“minjeong!”

yizhuo couldn’t be in love with you. no way. you were really just a good friend. one of her closest. she adored you greatly and wanted the best for you.

“so why are you so upset?” minjeong asks.

“i don’t know! that’s why i’m asking reddit! but now i just look like an idiot,” yizhuo groans, wanting to pull her hair out of frustration, which truly shows how irritated she was. she would never harm her hair.

“yizhuo, have you ever considered that you’re not as straight as you thought?”

yizhuo turns back to face minjeong, who’s sitting on her bed. she thinks back to all the times you’ve hung out with her. the lingering touches of comfort. the warmth she felt whenever you spoke.

she just wants her friend back. and she doesn’t know why she’s acting so unreasonable. could minjeong have a point? what if yizhuo…

“oh my gosh! i’m jealous since she’s out and gay—”

minjeong lights up, squealing, “yes!”

“and i’m just a straight girl without any confidence! i’m jealous of her confidence!”

minjeong deflates almost instantly.

yizhuo knows she’s right, so she immediately hatches a plan to talk to you. one comment said communication was vital in preserving this friendship, so yizhuo jumped into action. she knew you had your shifts at night and yizhuo could catch you off-guard right after. your work usually ended late and yizhuo always dozed off on the couch waiting for you. recently that routine has been broken, of course, but that’s when you’re most susceptible to vulnerability. yizhuo needed space to be honest and truthful.

thus, she waits patiently in the living room. yizhuo’s not really sure how long your shift lasts but she normally hears your keys jingle at midnight, so maybe then?

she waits an hour. then another. and then another. she spends the time scrolling on instagram, a frown forming on her face when yunjin appears on her feed.

then, finally, she hears the door creaking. jumping up from her lying position, yizhuo sits upright, focused.

“oh,” is your first word to her. not ‘hi’, or ‘hello’, just an acknowledgment.

yizhuo blinks at the sight of you in your work attire. but she quickly shoves the thought of how attractive you looked into the back of her mind.

“hey,” she winces at her own unfamiliar tone, “can we talk?”

you stare at her in shock before reluctantly nodding.

“yeah, sure.”

she pats the space next to her and clears her throat as you sit down.

“i know i’ve kind of been a jerk lately especially to you and yunjin, but i just want to say that i’m sorry.”

surprise flickers in your eyes, “oh.”

“i talked to minjeong unnie and it really cleared things up. i realised that i was upset because it felt like we weren’t as close as before. knowing that someone like yunjin could come replace me. i was jealous that you had someone while i didn’t. it felt like you were moving on without me, so i got a bit angry. i’m really sorry for the way i treated you and yunjin.”

(their first interaction really went poorly. yizhuo had came home, ready for a long movie night, just to find a random girl (well, not really random) sprawled out on her couch.

“i’m home,” yizhuo calls out, carefully approaching the body. long and lanky is the first thing she notices. and the bright red hair. yizhuo dyed her hair red before, it stained her pillowcase cover. she wonders if this girl’s pillowcase covers are stained with red dye too.

“hey, how was your day?” you ask, laying beside the girl, “sorry, this is yunjin. we just finished a gym session together with aeri unnie. minjeong unnie knows her.”

no wonder why you were barely dressed. yizhuo scrunches her nose at the sight of yunjin’s arm wrapped around your bare torso. she nods and asks quietly, “why is she here?”

you laugh, “i was bragging about my post-gym lunch and she said she wanted to try.”

yizhuo’s never tried your cooking before. she feels a little out of place now.

“ah, okay,” she replies dryly, not bothering to keep her volume down, “is she going to be here all day?”

yunjin wakes up at the commotion, a little disoriented as she shifts.

“oh, shit. sorry, y/nnie,” yunjin yawns, sitting up, “sorry ning, i accidentally fell asleep.”

“it’s yizhuo. only my friends call me ning,” she spits out. you send her a scalding look that makes her want to retract her words, “whatever. sorry. see you guys later.”

at night, just before you leave for your shift, you reprimand her, saying that she was extremely rude to someone she didn’t even know. yizhuo had tuned out most of your scolding, not wanting to hear you defend yunjin.)

“oh…”

yizhuo swallows harshly, squeezing her eyes shut, “i just need you to know i’m not praying for your downfall or anything. i want the best for you, especially since you feel like my younger sister.”

as soon as she finishes her little speech, she opens her eyes to your flabbergasted expression. eyebrows furrowed with your mouth agape.

“uhm… can you forgive me?”

yizhuo really needs you to forgive her. she doesn’t know what she would do if you decided that this was the breaking point for your friendship. she would respect your decision but still, it wouldn’t be nice. who would want that? and if you decided to end the friendship, what would happen with the apartment? yizhuo really likes being roommates with you. it would suck to have to find another roommate as meticulous as you.

“well— uhm, of course,” you stutter, “i gotta go shower. sorry.”

“oh, okay.”

just as you’re about to get up, yizhuo reaches for your hand, “we’re okay, right?”

she watches your throat bobble before rasping out, “yes. we’re fine.”

wow! yizhuo mentally pats herself on the back.

that was so easy. it felt like a whole weight got lifted off her chest. yizhuo smiles to herself and enters her own room, proud.

(meanwhile, in your own room, you vent to yunjin, bewildered by yizhuo’s obliviousness.

“she said i’m like a sister! her absolute gall! and she said it’s because she’s upset she doesn’t have someone like me! your whole jealousy tactic didn’t do shit!”

“girl, calm down. i didn’t know you liked the dumb ones. who knew she was so stupid?”)

you stare at yizhuo, who’s trying her best not to show any disdain for the way yunjin’s arm was slung over your shoulder. she must either be extremely self-repressed or just stupid. probably both. unless she didn’t actually like you. that thought, you didn’t dare to entertain. the once confident and bold girl had turned into this timid and shy kitten.

“take a shot if you’ve kissed someone in this room before!” aeri reads out the card before gulping down her drink. minjeong and jimin do the same and so do a few others. when yunjin shakes you ever so slightly, you take the initiative to swallow down the burning sensation. yizhuo’s glare narrows before she turns away entirely.

subtly grinning at her act of jealousy, you hum happily. there’s an outcry of people asking who aeri kissed and the attention shifts away. most people in your extended friend group had assumed you and yunjin to be dating. the only people who knew the truth were minjeong and aeri. jimin was kept in the dark since well, truthfully, she couldn’t keep a secret from yizhuo.

“take a shot if you ever kissed someone of the same gender.”

there’s more people drinking this time. you drink yours after a refill and so does yunjin. your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets when yizhuo drinks as well. wasn’t she straight?

“who did you kiss?!” jimin screeches.

yizhuo wipes her lips, glistening with alcohol, “a friend. it was a dare in high school.”

you listen with rapt attention as aeri eggs on, “was it good? are girls better than guys?”

“well, it was definitely less sloppy,” yizhuo shrugs, giggling. her blush has worsened under the lighting and you can tell she’s at least tipsy now. the redness was currently spreading throughout her cheekbones and neck. you would coo at the adorable sight of her pouting and playing with the soju bottle if she wasn’t the stupidest girl on earth. you noticed how yizhuo drank every time yunjin squeezed your shoulder or you leaned into her touch. was she seriously still so thick?

“take a shot if you ever crushed on someone in this room,” aeri groans, downing her glass again. you drink yours and others follow. it wasn’t unexpected. you were seventy percent sure that most of the guys had crushed on jimin before, at least for a second. or maybe hanbin. he was cute too. that, you could admit.

“aeri… why are all the questions about dating?!” jimin whines, flopping onto the carpeted floor. minjeong winces before exclaiming, “i think she’s drunk now. let’s call it a night, okay?”

you agree. yizhuo looks seconds away from passing out as well and despite your recent gym endeavours, you do not want to carry a twenty four year old woman back home. yunjin taps your side and slyly tilts her head towards yizhuo, who’s leaning against the couch.

“go save your princess, romeo,” she whispers and stands to help minjeong clean up.

after all the bottles had been cleared, you crouched to yizhuo’s eye level, “ning, let’s go. it’s time to go home.”

her eyelids flutter open and she blinks at you wearily, “home?”

you nod, standing to wrap her arm over your shoulder to steady her. finally on her two feet, you bid goodbye to everyone and make your way home, albeit slowly.

every minute or so, yizhuo would jolt and nearly topple over. right as you reach your place, she leans over to the sidewalk drain and gags. you let go instantly and take out your phone to record her. next time she wants to get drunk, you’ll just show her the video. let her reflect.

“yizhuo, hurry up, i wanna shower,” you complain, dragging the hem of her shirt.

“o-okay…!”

“uhm, you have to get up.”

yizhuo nods again, wobbling as she stands. you grip her wrist and pull her into the apartment lobby. her body weighs heavily onto yours in the lift and you huff at the stench of alcohol.

“you smell bad,” you sigh.

“really?” yizhuo giggles, “you don’t like it?” the elevator dings.

she turns around to rest her head on your shoulder.

“i shouldn’t have gotten so drunk…”

“no kidding. c’mon you big baby.”

finally, after much effort, you manage to get yizhuo onto the couch. you’re heaving and panting at the end but at least she’s comfortable.

“please never get this drunk again,” you groan, flopping onto the couch.

yizhuo moans, “not my fault.”

“yeah? who’s fault is it then?”

she flips herself around, facing the ceiling, “y-yours.”

“how is it my fault?”

“you and yunjin…” she slurs out and your heart leaps.

“how is it our fault?”

“you keep touching each other,” yizhuo inhales sharply before mumbling, “i hate it…”

grinning, you pat her back.

“yeah. it’s my fault. sorry baby.”

“hmfph…”

r/relationships posted by

u/throwawaylizard 4 hours ago.

UPDATE: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.

hi guys! so i know some of you all have been asking for an update and here it is. there’s really nothing much that has changed? we’re back to normal, mostly. A doesn’t bring Y around as much anymore which honestly, should make me feel guilty but i don’t. we had a talk and i think it went rather well. i told her i felt like i was left behind and she forgave me for being so shitty.

it feels like this was just a hurdle in our friendship and we’re closer than ever. she’s become really touchy with me and i appreciate that things are back to normal. she’s been initiating talks and hangout sessions which boosts my mood immensely. i’m really happy with the progress we made. we’ve even started cooking together and it feels awesome. Y had tasted her cooking before and i didn’t. so it felt like this hole in my heart had been patched up. our movie nights have become solely ours and everything’s great. she’s the sweetest girl i know and the most caring, so i really do feel happy that i have my best friend and roommate back. our cold war was doing a toll on my mental and physical health but a simple conversation had cleared the air so easily.

sometimes when she brings up Y since she still hangs out with her, i do feel a little upset. she told me they aren’t dating, just good friends. but other than that, we’re cool. thanks for all the comments! i’m glad i’m not homophobic :D

⇧ 178 | ⇩ | 102 comments

u/imissher | 3h

op you can’t be serious…

u/throwawaylizard | 3h

? what’s wrong

u/imissher | 2h

it feels as if you haven’t really solved this ‘homophobia’ issue. just put it off to the side.

u/throwawaylizard | 2h

IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC 😭

u/mingzmingz | 2h

well i’m glad? as long as you guys are happy ig. idk what’s up with gay people

u/throwawaylizard | 2h

thank you! i’m not gay though.

u/japansfinest | 1h

HOLY SHIT NING

u/throwawaylizard | 1h

OMG DONT DOX ME???

u/japansfinest | 1h

GIRL BE SERIOUS RN 😐😐

u/1800hotnfun | 1h

i strive to live as blissfully ignorant as you, op

u/throwawaylizard | 1h

not very sure if this is a compliment.

things had reverted back to normal. yizhuo was happy again and it seemed like everything was fine.

so how did she get here?

yizhuo had simply gone out to get groceries for your dinner together and when she arrived home, hands full of plastic bags, she heard the tail of your conversation over the phone.

“i don’t think she’s picking up my hints, yun,” you say in hushed whispers, “maybe she really is straight. or she just doesn’t like me.”

despite yizhuo’s moral compass, she decides to listen in on your conversation. she’s never heard of you liking someone before, or being so insecure. what girl wouldn’t like you back? and you liked a straight girl too?

she can’t hear yunjin’s reply but you let out an exasperated sigh, “maybe she thinks i’m just being a really good friend. i thought she would have already realised i liked her by now. your whole jealousy plan didn’t work either. i mean, it did but not really.”

yizhuo slowly twists the door knob before loudly announcing, “i’m home!”

she hopes that by now, you would have ended the call so she wouldn’t have to interact with yunjin at all.

“oh,” she catches the anxiety in your voice, “did you get everything?”

“yup. there was a sale on apples, so i got those too,” yizhuo says, a little too cheerfully, but she wants to cover up any nervousness. as she places the bags on the kitchen counter, you stand up to help unpack everything.

while you start to arrange all the groceries, yizhuo thinks about your words. liking someone. a girl. a straight girl who was potentially oblivious to your advances?

yizhuo scrunches her nose.

sounds…

familiar.

“hey, did you get healthier milk? the one with less sugar added.”

as you twirl around to ask, yizhuo’s heart gets caught in her throat.

she was the straight oblivious girl.

“uh— yeah. i got both,” she gestures awkwardly to the pile of bags. you nod and go back to sorting everything out. god, she needs a breather. trudging to the couch, she sighs as the softness envelops her. she couldn’t wrap her head around this— you liked her? potentially? definitely?

yizhuo spends the next few minutes having an existential crisis. she was straight! the straight girl that you liked! and that whole jealousy thing with yunjin! you planned that! she can’t believe it. all her nights were spent debating whether she was homophobic or not and it was all a rouse to get her jealous? well, was she jealous? minjeong had seemed intent on getting her to admit that, which she did. but maybe it was because she was jealous of yunjin.

not for taking up your time.

but for being able to touch you and hold you in ways she can’t.

holy shit. she’s not as straight as she once thought.

and she has a huge crush on her roommate.

how could she let reddit comments be right?!

yizhuo stares blankly at the ceiling. you call out from the kitchen, “do you want white or red wine?”

she stands up from the couch, resolute in her decision now.

no wonder you had looked so offended after she sister zoned you! yizhuo would hate it too if all she was to you was an unnie. she wanted— no, needed to be your everything.

“yizhuo?” you ask again, examining the two bottles of wine.

yizhuo almost sprints into the kitchen. the sight of you with your hair up, the cute lace white apron wrapped around your waist, and your focused expression. it has her drooling. everything was so domestic.

how hasn’t yizhuo noticed this sooner?

“white wine please,” she answers when you’re within arms reach.

“are we drinking the whole bottle?”

she stretches out her arms to engulf your body in hers and reads the label on the wine bottle over your shoulder. taking gratification in the way your body shudders, yizhuo hides a pleased smirk.

“hm, should we?” she whispers hotly beside your ear. you shiver before muttering, “maybe. is tonight a special occasion?”

“i mean, it could be,” yizhuo grins, “you were promoted recently, right?”

tonight was one of your day-offs, and you came back recently, boasting about the extra time off you got from being promoted. of course that was celebrated with a simple get together with friends. but yizhuo didn’t get her own special celebration with you.

“yeah? okay, we’ll drink it all then.”

yizhuo smiles into your hair. she’s never felt happier. knowing that her inner frustrations had been settled finally. you were just trying to get her jealous. a good attempt nonetheless, it worked incredibly well. but now she’s certain of her own feelings.

“you smell nice,” she blurts out.

“i used your shampoo. ran out of mine.”

“mhm. smells good.”

yizhuo spots the hint of satisfaction on your face.

“are you complimenting yourself right now?”

“i have really good taste,” she states.

you roll your eyes playfully before detaching her arms but she just slithers them back into place.

“ning, i have to cook.”

“hold on,” she mumbles, “i think we can celebrate another thing.”

sensing your confusion, she continues brazenly, “we can celebrate our first night as a couple, right?”

“what—”

“i’m sorry for being so oblivious this whole time. i got so pissy because i was jealous. apparently, i’m not straight. or i just like you, i don’t know yet. all i know is that i envision myself by your side,” yizhuo explains, “everytime you mentioned yunjin i got upset and it’s because i thought you guys were dating. that’s why i didn’t like any of the girls you brought home either. i’m sorry for saying you’re like my sister. i like you a lot. not in a straight girl way.”

she hears you gasp and she can’t bring herself to continue without your reaction. yizhuo’s been through so much struggle with coming to terms with her identity and feelings and now she wants to get it all out.

“are you serious?” you ask without facing her. she chuckles at the redness at the tips of your ears.

“yeah. sorry for being a jerk. it was because i like you.”

“ning yizhuo— i… wait, let go of me for a minute. i wanna look at you.”

reluctantly, she does so.

you look so pretty under the kitchen light, yizhuo thinks.

“uhm, where do i even start?” you chuckle awkwardly, “i really thought you were into me when we first met and when you said you were straight… i think my heart died a little! but it’s okay, since you’ve been such a great friend to me. i must admit that yunjin did volunteer to be my plot device to make you jealous. i was hurt when you were being rude, so i’m happy you apologised. i like you too. a lot.”

yizhuo grins, heart beating wildly against her chest.

“can you say that again?”

“i like you a lot, yizhuo. can’t believe you called me a sister though.”

“i said i was sorry!”

r/relationships posted by

u/throwawaylizard 7 hours ago.

LAST UPDATE: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.

hello! i’m glad to announce that this situation has finally been settled with a happy ending. i would like to give you guys a proper explanation and ending for all the help you provided.

first of all, yes, i’m not straight. or maybe i just like A. i haven’t explored that part yet but also, i’m in love with my roommate. i was jealous of all the girls she brought over and i wanted to be the one holding her and making her laugh.

second of all, you guys were right. she was using Y to make me jealous and it worked. so maybe she’s the real mastermind.

and lastly, we’re finally dating. we’ve been taking things slow for now since this is all new to me but A has been incredibly sweet and supportive (as she always is). it’s just a new experience but i’m willing to do anything as long as A is by my side.

thank you all for the help and comments!

it turns out i don’t have any problems with A kissing girls if it’s me she’s kissing.

⇧ 359 | ⇩ | 153 comments

[lightisacat]

Närcon still has so many issues in 2024.

It's so funny/tragic seeing people had valid complains and concerns about närcon from a decade ago - and nothing has changed since then! They are still magically understaffed EVERY year. It's on fucking purpose at this point - they want gullible naive teens to work for them for free under the guise of "we're family guys uwu this con wouldn't be anything without you we luw u guys sooo much little panda buddies uwuwuwuwu" and the poor teens who don't know better think that's sweet and not just a manipulation tactic made by greedy adults to make them work even longer, for free, while närcon lines their own pocket with more money every year. There is no age limit on kids working for free for närcon btw. Because 14 year olds make such good staff members right? They're totally ready to handle 12000 visitors! For 10-12h a day! Well, it's supposed to be like 6h, but every ex-panda/staff I've talked to was forced to work 10-12 instead (often in hot as hell sunny weather) because... they're understaffed. How convenient for närcon huh.

Of course those people are also not checked properly either. I've seen groups of teen staff be loud and rude as fuck to little kids. Causing havoc and certainly not doing any work. And judging from past discord drama, plenty of longer lasting staff members feel comfortable being quite rude to visitors too. Visitors paying for a sleeping hall being met witha bright fucking light that couldn't be turned off at night being told "well we're not a hotel" is just- bruh. Turning of the light is such a fucking minimal requirement and valid complaint. No reason for staff (who are clearly not trained to handle upset customers) to be snarky about their own freaking shortcomings.

They also insist on everyone using their frankly garbage app that is held together with kindergarten level glue. It crashes about 50% of the time when I try to use it.

NärCon is honestly pretty shit. They act like they're so uwu welcoming on the outside but they're greedy and rotten on the inside.

[transvampireboyfriend]

but in any case, id rather work 12h shifts every day of the week than be on twitter or tiktok. and i hear discord has like ai or privacy issues? idk and tbh idc im not going there either. i can give u my Pinterest if u want afsgsjsk or an email? I'd read emails from my mutuals here :3 write to me, we'll be like lucy and mina <3

[jeeyuns]

THE BIRTH CHART POST HELLO !!!!

virgo moon/taurus rising for always being in other people's business but NEVER wanting anyone else's input on his own is SOOOO real. i love BOTH of these they feel like different versions of eddie throughout the seasons. amanda's is definitely giving eddie's lighter moments which i love! all that leo matching buck's energy (which i'd love to get into if u want asgdhdhdh)

he definitely has prominent placements in scorpio/virgo/leo im sooo sure about that. him having that 12h leo stellium and feeling like he needs to suppress his Fun side vs home/family bringing out the best in him (leo 4h) aka every single buckley-diaz family scene. both of these work so well they feel like a progression somehow

also that virgo venus and him being very picky about who he lets in (chefs kiss)

sorry im rambling i could go on all day about these things lmao

no please go on! i love how we all headcanon these characters as different points in their journeys. it's pure art and love shown in the best way possible as fans.

i agree! scorpio/leo/virgo up the wazoo. that virgo is soooo prominent in his precise hands and his pickyness totes chef's kiss. and am intrigued by your 12h leo stellium thought vs the leo 4h thought and totally vibe with all of it.

buck SO has leo vibes. i headcanon buck as having a leo 7h. here, let me show you my buck idea

Buck (July 11, 1992)

cancer sun / sagittarius moon / aquarius rising

traditional yet progressive, sensitive, thoughtful, fervent, considerate, has a fine intellect, wholehearted, impressive yet impressionable, sometimes shy, reserved yet talkative, kind, idealistic, encouraging, brings out the best in others, needs to travel and discover new horizons charming, vulnerable, honest, outspoken, the cancer that has the least amount of need for roots and family, dramatic, exaggerates things, makes mountains out of molehills, emotional, volatile, intuitive, sarcastic to hide their vulnerability and dependency, deeply private about their feelings loves and fears change and excitement, when assured of love and affection they can face the music and dance, super resilient, philosophical about problems, imaginative, restless, changeable, good-humoured, has a restrained defiance, has lofty ideals about their loved ones and are disappointed when they turn out to be mere mortals gives a relationship everything they’ve got, slightly hypocritical, wanderers, may keep their feelings a secret even from themselves, seems to be extremely open and up-front yet a lot lurks beneath the surface, independent, visionary, has an ear for music and/or musically inclined, has an eye for beauty, prone to mood swings, can be despondent especially when someone hasn’t lived up to their romantic ideal when it comes to partners they want a parent and a playmate, sociable, quietly flirtatious even, can be quite possessive, needs total freedom yet craves intimacy, one of life’s romantics, the most adventurous cancer

[astroyongie]

Ok yongie I did my homework!

* Sun: Soobin - why you guys are enemies?

Soobin THOUGHT he was the king of girl group random dance plays, but not on my guard honey… His ego didn’t recover after being out danced during Likey 😔🫰🏼 would be awesome if this turned into enemies to friends though bc I like him a lot and we could have fun together 🥺

* Moon: Jungkook - how did you react to the confession?

Oh he’s SO not my type I’m sorry 😭😭😭 I ain’t got time or energy to raise men I didn’t give birth to… As a fellow Virgo sun & Leo moon, I know we can be such a pain in the ass if underdeveloped 🙏🏼 But it was a gentle rejection I swear… wouldn’t want to hurt him 🥺 Maybe try again in a few years when he’s worked through his trauma?

* Mercury: Taehyun - what you gossip about ?

With Taehuyn??? Man, tea is served piping hot EVERY👏🏼SINGLE👏🏼DAY👏🏼, with pastries on the side… But not because we’re mean, I just think we both share a certain “human beings as interesting study subjects” perspective and would have fun analyzing the psychology behind each cup of tea… Also I think we’d both enjoy gossip for the sake of *knowing more* because knowledge is power and in this industry you need as much of that as you can lmao 👁️

* Venus: Xiumin - how's your relationship going ?

Ok so I literally looked up edits of him and asked my exol friend about Xiumin, and I liked him a lot??? He seems to be the cutie type and his goofy ass is SO my type 😂😂😂 Is this a new bias??? Who knows… 🙈 Anyways, according to his birth chart, he has his Venus and mars in my 11H and his Jupiter in my 4H, so I think there’s the potential to actually have a lot of fun? However our placements are LITERALLY on opposite sides of the chart, so maybe we’d grow apart due to different life perspectives and approaches? Definitely would try to keep him as a friend though, he just seems so funny and I need more of that in my life 🥺

* Mars: Jihoon - why was it your best one night stand?

Ok I also looked this boy up and you know what? I can see the vision 👀 I have such a soft spot for Cancer moon boys, because I have Cancer on my 4H, and his mars is on my 1H… so I think there would be this “softness” I most definitely need if I’m to get busy with someone, but also a good amount of attraction at first sight… he has a stellium on my 12H so I think he might ghost me later?? 8/10 would do it again if he doesn’t disappear from my life forever.

I’m an Aries Rising 💃

The way he roll his eyes every time u get on stage EVERYONE KNOWS IT !

Uhhh I don’t think he was very happy to be rejected but it happens

No but your chats with Taehyun must be extremely interesting to listen to !!!

Nooo the most cute romance 🥹 even if you guys get apart the fact u can still be friends is amazing

He definitely ghosts you after your one night stand xD but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t gooooood

You will marry Soobin !!! Enemies to lovers trope and one day I guys just have to dance together and bam.. it happens

[dissociated-me]

It’s only about calories.

No, no. It’s also about balanced protein and carbs, fat should be avoided.

No no no you also need all the vitamins etc.

No no no that isn’t enough protein for your weight at all, you ate one chicken breast a day for a decade and that’s it? Anaemia, helllo?? You necessarily need 9 amino acids in your diet. Those 9 can help you make the other 11. You also need bunch of vitamins. You need at least a specific amount of protein from all kind of different sources, and carbs, and a bowl of salad or veg a day and healthy fats. You need one serving of oily fish a week (more than that can be troubling and metals may toxify your body giving you anger issues). More beef to stave off anaemia and of course lots of water.

It’s really difficult to keep track of amino acids: which protein u must consume and not repeating meals. Imagine not knowing about this , avoiding fats, eating fat free/low fat alternatives and using false sweeteners or drinking Diet Coke, not knowing that Diet Coke causes bone pain and those other sweeteners and preservatives mess with your hormones… making your system haywire, dopamine hit after unhealthy food, hello? Will we ever be happy without those guilty pleasures?

Then you figure out that you learned all of this, you pretty much know how you should feed to get what your body needs and to fix you, and yet, then you realise heathy diet is actually so expensive and just at this moment when u have an idea of how to do it you are jobless and can’t afford to. Is this a universal joke? Fifteen years you are oblivious, you think you know what u are doing and that the system is so simple, that you effed things up with false easy solutions (drugs, cigs, diet stuffs, prescription antidepressants combined with the rat race office work, and don’t forget the all encompassing toxic relationships).

And now, when you think u know better, u may be stuck having half the money u need for food? Maybe a perfect time for the Alternate Day Fasting regimen, which is 36h fast followed by 12h eating (healthy to best of my knowledge and personal resilience to avoid the unhealthy but dopamine satisfying).

I’m on my second monk fast and I’m going through some psychological turmoil. Toxins (toxic emotions) are being released from my fat stores? Hence this post.

Hope you take the time to diet smart, not hard, like I was hitting my head on the wall for years not knowing why can I never have enough willpower to lose weight? Think of me 14 years ago… doing 1k jumping jacks in the middle of the night and 1h bike every day which back then seemed like the longest daily ride in the world, with no loss result (tho obviously fitness and other body positive results). Isn’t this the definition of insanity?

(I forgot to mention calcium and probiotics)

[bookmunchies]

Caved in on getting a service industry job, in the middle of a fucking pandemic, even tho I'm high risk, bcs the pay was 1k, aka more than double the min wage (450) -which itself was recently doubled (200 smth) for the first time since the dawn of the planet- bcs the kind of money I could earn till oct would be crazy, for this country.

Even tho some of the demands were on the crazy side -no sit no phone, lie like ur a politician- the good was 6h shifts with 1 day off, an apartment 5mins away from the shop to live in for me and my sister -cause we both got in- with the possibility of another person joining later in the summer. Sounds great right?

Well, ofc it does, cause it was a lie. The pay was min wage, the apartment was not within stari grad but basically the outskirts tho that in itself is not really far away considering the size of the town. It had 6 ppl in it and the real possibility they would cram more in, even tho it was a size for 4 max, a broken shower which felt like it was gonna give under me and I'm 45kg so I don't know how the others managed to live with it. Not to mention, the bills were not payed for, and the electricity was insane, like 3 ppl paying 150 -bcs there were only 3 during the winter- when my 5person family pays 80 tops, and that's with the debt added on to the actual number. And the 6h shifts? They were 5 and an unpayed half hour one day, 7 and a half on another and then a 12h one to finish up. They even had the workers do double 12h shifts bcs of lack of ppl last year and we're supposed to trust that aint' happening this time?

What did they think? We'd stay for this scam if they kept mentioning the magical % which would really up the pay after the ssn starts, 2 months from now? When the max august of last year brought the worker with the highest sales was 700 which included russians, who make up the biggest tourist numbers, and are the big money spenders in the store, which ain't happening this year. Not to mention the majority owner being a russian who owns souvenir shops in more countries, and produces souvenirs with an entire wall being especially catered to russian clientele and entirely filled with overpriced different kinds of russian santas, which seem cheap to them bcs they have even more insane prices in Russia, and you're told to lie thru your teeth to other tourists about that being Sveti Nikola and that they're displayed in houses during the entire year bcs they 'protect sailors' or some other such bull. What a fucking lie, we don't even have santa here!! Santa comes for new year and I had no idea he was a Christmas thing till idk hs, we had Bozic bata and he leaves a gift in your shoes. Even christmas trees are not really Christmas, it's badnjak that's Christmas. A truly bizarre case of reverse cultural appropriation, in which a rich person is using their country's culture to make money, in a different country, by having min wage workers lie. No matter how you say there's gon be a lot of ships this year, if most of the ppl who buy the stupid expensive shit aka santas and ikone are russians who won't really be coming this summer, does that really matter? The only other thing that's mad expensive, are the ugliest fucking gusle I have ever seen, just the worst piece of work you can imagine, and big ships, and neither really sell, like at all.

Came back home the next day. Like, at least it all came out on the first night, and I didn't lose that much effort. The one good thing that came from sharing an apartment with other ppl who work or are on their probni rad, they did not hold back. Even told us we were lucky to not be put in the apartment that was within stari grad, bcs that one had 10ppl, and from what I heard during that day's shift -jer sam bila na obuci- that apartment didn't even have running water, and smn who just moved in there talked to another employee who is originally from the town, if there's anyone they know who can odvrne ventil.

[a-d-nox]

Hellou:] founD myselF intrigued for a post about a random asteroid you have a dear conection with (or one u like a lot¿?) but u haven't even mentioning in posts? xx

asteroids that aren’t getting more attention than this and aren’t related to my typical mythological shenanigans but that i still love (part 1)

i have written about 25 randomly selected asteroids from my “interesting asteroids” list on my phone that are NOT mythology related and thus have never been mentioned and likely will never be mentioned again. this post is very different and long. if you have no interest in the history, look for bolded statements to avoid all the reading lol. and feel free to skip over my reflections on my placements, i provided them because of how kissessinthe worded their question. if you wanna know more about me or how i think while reading my own placements, by all means go for it ;).

alright and now 25 random asteroids.

aldrin (asteroid 6470)

In 1963, NASA selected Buzz Aldrin to be in the third group of astronauts. He created the technique for docking spaceships in both Earth and lunar orbit. He was also the one to advocate for underwater training to simulate spacewalking. On July 20th, 1969 Aldrin and Armstrong made the first moonwalk and became the first humans to set foot on another world. Aldrin was the second man on the moon. IN MY OPINION Aldrin represents a) where you can be seen as important or the best of the best, b) where you may be a pioneer, c) where you have a lot of new evolutionary ideas, and/or d) where you are the second to do something that has never been done before.

OTHER RELATED ASTEROIDS: armstrong (6469)!

where aldrin is for me and how it affects me personally: 6h in leo at 27° - i could definitely see myself as a co-owner or a vice president of a company. i have always been told that i have a very charming presence that makes people listen to new perspectives and ideas. this could be backed by my aldrin quintile mercury and square saturn. this placement tells me i likely wouldn’t do well in a lower position in a company setting because i know i have great ideas and that i would make a great leader. being in a lower, subservient role would likely frustrate me due to having the knowledge and simply not the power to do anything.

bascom (asteroid 6084)

Florence Bascom was one of the first American geologists and professors to be a woman. By the age of 22, she had two bachelor’s degrees! By 31, she had a master’s and PhD in geology - she was seen as a pioneer in her field. She spent many years studying crystallography. IN MY OPINION Bascom represents your relationship with rocks, stones, and crystals.

where bascom is for me and how it affects me personally: 9h in sagittarius at 13° - i love me some crystals. if you think i go ham over astrology, you should see my crystal and geology textbooks (hella tabs and hella annotated). i have a 6h and 9h stellium in this persona chart and i do devote a lot of time to learning about how they work, their energy field, chakra placement, etc. i do feel like they physically do something for me as well.

bella (asteroid 695)

In many Latin based languages, bella translates to “beautiful”. IN MY OPINION Bella in your chart can indicate where you are seen as truly beautiful.

where bella is for me and how it affects me personally: 8h in libra at 29° - bruh it’s not easy being this sexy. lmao but for real i feel like i am getting prettier with age if that makes sense? 29° tends to be slow moving and slow to progress in a person. bella squares neptune for me so sometimes i experience a dysmorphia regarding my beauty - looking in a mirror or seeing a picture of me sometimes really irks me. like internally i know i am pretty but i tend to have off-days where i really don’t enjoy myself or how i look (this may be chiron in the 1h or my 12h pluto in the persona chart for this asteroid - it’s a tough call). for those of you wondering, yes, every partner i have had only ever wants to touch and look at me lol.

click here for bella-asc negative aspects and bella-sun positive aspects

byron (asteroid 3306)

Lord Byron was a leading man of the Romantic literary movement. He was believed to be well read, influential, and one of the finest poets of his time. “Byromania” was the term used to describe his fans’ reaction to his presence. Originally, Byron found fame glorious but later he did everything in his power to escape which included going into exile. His memoir was burned by his publisher after the work detailed his bisexual relations. Byron also brought the idea of a flawed talent into the Romantic movement. IN MY OPINION Byron in a chart can indicate a) how well read you are, b) your love for poetry, c) how people react to you and how you react to them, and/or d) bisexuality.

where byron is for me and how it affects me personally: 5h in leo at 1° - i love poetry. bryon sextiles saturn for so i do tend to resort to poetry when i feel like no one gets me. my bryon is opposite neptune so i have no clue if this makes my poetry shitty lol?

cancelli (asteroid 5842)

Ferdinando Cancelli is a palliative care specialist. Palliative care is the comfort care a person receives when diagnosed with a terminal illness that will likely end in death. Cancelli is an advocate for those who undergo this care and often speaks at conferences about death and end of life care. IN MY OPINION Cancelli shows a) how people care for you when you are sick or when you are near death and/or b) who the best person is to take care of you when sick.

where cancelli is for me and how it affects me personally: 11h in capricorn at 23° - everyone knows when i am sick or unwell. i never hide my not feeling well. the only person i want to take care of me when i am sick is my mother: cancelli quintile moon (also backed in the persona chart as moon in the 10h at 11°).

cheshirecat (asteroid 6042)

The Cheshire Cat is one of those characters that tend to be smug with an omniscient aura. He is Alice’s spiritual guide through Wonderland, who constantly grins in this lackadaisical manner because he has nothing to lose. IN MY OPINION Cheshirecat in a chart represents a) where you are spiritually guided, b) where you show faulty reasoning or make false assumptions, c) where you frustrate others, and/or d) where you know more than those around you.

OTHER RELATED ASTEROIDS: alice (291) and lewiscarrol (6984)!

where cheshirecat is for me and how it affects me personally: 10h in capricorn at 6° - anyone who knows me knows i am just as morally grey as cheshire - i give off an all-knowing vibe that cause me to attract a lot of alice types who ask for guidance. i speak very eloquently yet cryptically like cheshire. this is enforced by the cheshirecat sextile mercury - i tend to confuse a lot of people when giving advice that ends up being just what they needed (also confirmed in the persona chart with a 3h stellium (moon, venus, uranus, and neptune). BUT i do tend to make overly critical assumptions that may be due to the virgo degree. sadly for me my cheshirecat squares alice so i too get the frustration of being alice and dealing with a cheshirecat - i tend to get a lot of divine guidance that makes little to no sense to me at times.

constantia (asteroid 315)

Constantia is the Latin word meaning constancy. Constancy is a noun that describes the quality of being enduring, dependable, reliable, and trustworthy. IN MY OPINION Constantia is a chart represents a) where you need something that is dependable in your life, b) where you may take longer to trust others, and/or c) where you like a routine.

where constantia is for me and how it affects me personally: 7h in virgo at 29° - give me loyalty or give me death (constantia conjunct mars - courtesy of my abandonment issues). i really do need people who are my partner to be all in or not there at all. i don’t like not knowing if a person is there to stay or not (it completely contradicts my aphrodite-uranus aspect, juno in aquarius, and even my sagittarius venus - astrology is very complex i don’t discount the other placements and their possible meanings but for me this asteroid and it’s story makes complete sense). this placement has a lot to do with romantic partnerships - i want to be a power couple (constantia quintile pluto) i can’t do that if my partner doesn’t want that as well or is simply not there. but i have the feeling that i will find someone to fill the role (constantia quintile venus and trine saturn).

cucula (asteroid 2731)

Cucula/cucule is the Latin word for the cuckoo. Some people like the mentall asteroid but I prefer cucula to examine where you tend to experience good and bad mental health. Cuckoos are very monotonous birds that repeat their calls on a loop schedule - it’s why they are used in clockwork. And much like the informal definition of insanity “doing the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result” - the two became linked. IN MY OPINION Cucula in your chart shows a) where you tend to make the same mistakes again and again and/or b) where you struggle to break your cycles in behavior.

where cucula is for me and how it affects me personally: 1h in pisces at 13° in retrograde - please refer to the bella asteroid reflection lol. but really i have to laugh because 1h can also be philosophical thought… you know who i would give this placement/circumstance too as well? we are going to talk about dostoevsky hint-hint. I WOULD GIVE THIS PLACEMENT TO THE UNDERGROUND MAN!!! i feel like my placement relays a similar story of over-analysis (cucula trine moon and mercury) which causes inaction and isolation (cucula square pluto and chiron) which ultimately leads to demise :).

DNA (asteroid 55555)

DNA is the self-replicating material that makes all living beings different from one another in that it is essentially the instruction manual for your body. It creates the distinct characteristics present in someone. DNA is inherited from your ancestors and provides the framework for your health. I haven't told anyone this on here but I once was a science and math nerd before I began studying literature. I had planned to become an obstetrician. So I know all about cells from my days of AP Biology and college Anatomy and Physiology. DNA can be telling as to what you may experience - when DNA is damaged it leads to cell death or apoptosis. Apoptosis helps to maintain balance in a person's immune system - if apoptosis does not occur, cells do not know that they should be getting rid of themselves and this typically leads to issues like cancer. Another theory within the study of DNA is telomere shortening. Telomeres are present at the ends of each of your chromosomes (which are made up of DNA). The theory is that telomeres shorten with age - this shortening leads to more frequent apoptosis. More cell death leads to your ultimate dying. All this being said, IN MY OPINION DNA in your chart can be a) telling about your health, b) what you have inherited from your ancestors, c) what diseases you are most at risk for, and/or d) your death.

where DNA is for me and how it affects me personally: 10h in capricorn at 2° - please tell me you aren’t shocked about that placement after that analysis ^^^. so i’ll be honest with you all, i’m a walking health hazard. my DNA asteroid semi-squares uranus and uranus has a decent control over circulatory systems. i have a blood mutation that causes my blood to clot (yes blood is mars’s territory but my clotting disorder could transfer a clot formed in my arm to my heart or my leg to my brain) when there is no need to - it could be hot out, i could have no cuts or scraps, i don’t need to bump into anything and BAM a bruise, a hematoma, a blood clot. yay me! DNA also sextiles sun so i suspect i will live awhile but only if i remain active. another fun one is an asteroid named endo - endometriosis affects 1 in 10 women. endometriosis or endo, the shortened named, causes severe pain due to a build up of irregularly grown tissue or scar tissues built up in a woman’s uterus. the pain is often debilitating and leaves unmedicated women bedridden during their menstrual cycles. i have this asteroid sextile DNA (thanks, mom). there is no cure for endometriosis but if you recall i said “unmedicated” - endometriosis can go undiagnosed or tends to not be experienced when people take birth control. Birth control helps to regulate hormones like estrogen and progesterone in your body. Estrogen is higher in those who have endometriosis so taking a hormone birth control aids in symptom relief. :) this is where it gets fun for me because i can’t take hormone birth control because it causes blood clots - hi, i already have that issue and lowkey want to keep living.

dostoevsky (asteroid 3453)

Fyodor Dostoevsky was a famous Russian writer. He wrote many novels, short stories, essays, and articles. He often explored the human condition by means of politics and spirituality. Dostoevsky likely wrote the first existential piece of literature. His works are often thought to be extremely influential or rather unremarkably chaotic like that of a mad-man. IN MY OPINION Dostoevsky in your chart articulates a) where and how you may express your political and religious views, b) where you are an existentialist (when someone views most everything as subjective), and/or c) where you are considered ahead of your time or seen as mad because your intelligence is too out of this world.

where dostoevsky is for me and how it affects me personally: 5h in cancer at 14° - bruh i vibe with fyodor. give me all the political and spiritual existentialism. the 5h with a venus ruled degree is well deserved for this author’s placement in my chart (i tend to look at the placement of creatives as though it is telling me that i would or do like the creative’s work - you could look at any writer’s asteroid like that including byron who we talked about in this post). i truly click with dostoevsky’s thoughts, it shows in the moon and mercury trining his asteroid in my chart. on the non-writer side of things, i do tend to think very differently about what dating is versus what a relationship is (i think this is where my aphrodite-uranus aspect, juno in aquarius, and sagittarius venus really come into play). plus i grew up being that kid that had to be told to go play with the other kids - i preferred talking to playing and adults to other children (yay childhood trauma pt1).

educatio (asteroid 2440)

Educatio is the Latin word for education. Education is the systematic process of giving and receiving knowledge which is meant to enlighten a person in a specific field. IN MY OPINION Educatio in a chart can tell you a) where you are most knowledgeable, b) where you enjoy learning the most, and/or c) could help you to pick a major/speciality to pursue in upper education.

where educatio is for me and how it affects me personally: 9h in sagittarius at 14° - lol this poor asteroid is conjunct venus, pluto, and chiron. i literally can’t tell if i like institutionalized learning. i clearly love the learning part but the institution part is like :/. i clearly would make a great philosophy major BUT my school doesn’t have that. so it’s forensic (pluto) psychology (chiron) and english (venus + venus ruled degree) for my educational pursuit.

einstein (asteroid 2001)

Albert Einstein was a theoretical physicist who developed the theory of relativity (absence of gravity versus the laws of gravity and force) and made important contributions to the theory of quantum mechanics. Together these two theories created a ground work for modern physics - E=mc^2. His name has been since associated with the word genius. IN MY OPINION Einstein in your chart can indicate a) where you are seen as a genius, b) how good you are at physics, and/or c) where you could make a discovery that changes the way a field of work progresses.

where einstein is for me and how it affects me personally: 9h in sagittarius at 16° - lol yes, this is conjunct educatio and yes, everyone in college comes to me when they need help. even the teachers. einstein sextiles uranus after all so i feel like it’s as though everyone tends to know i’m rather smart (in this asteroids persona chart i have a 1h stellium) - i do articulate myself the best over technology though that’s probably why i am more popular here than on tiktok or instagram or even in person.

eureka (asteroid 5261)

The expression eureka originates in Greece as the term “heurēka” meaning “I have found it.” Now the word is a popular expression used when someone is overjoyed with their discovery. IN MY OPINION Eureka in a chart represents a) where you make life altering discoveries and/or b) where others may discover you are the satisfactory answer/solution to their problem.

where eureka is for me and how it affects me personally: 6h in leo at 18° - yeah... i definitely am the scapegoat for getting things done. not to be pitiful but i tend to be given the grunt work or jobs no one else wants to do. need an essay edited? you know who’s good at that? me. you know who gets that job? me. i am really great at planning and making things work out, yet many people think i should do things that are lowkey something smaller or less helpful to the unit. BUT when I am in a leadership role everything gets done like a well oiled machine. lol my persona chart for this asteroid has a 8h stellium and a 6h moon at 29°... a health discovery that changes my life - sounds about right?

leonard (asteroid 3000)

Leonardo da Vinci was a well studied gentleman of the Renaissance era. He was a painter, engineer, sculptor, and so much more! He is considered the most diversified well-learned person to have lived. Many of his painting and works are still studied today as masterpieces i.e. Mona Lisa and The Last Supper. IN MY OPINION Leonardo in your chart can represent a) where you may be seen as well-learned and well-versed, b) how you are seen as a jack of all trades, and/or c) where the work you do now will likely out live you.

where leonardo is for me and how it affects me personally: 11h in capricorn at 12° - lmfao this one fits with what i am doing here. if you have been here for awhile you are likely starting to get the drift i’m knowledgable about a lot of stuff. social media fits me well and i love to talk with you all about this stuff.

lev tolstoj (asteroid 2810) / alexejtolstoj (asteroid 3771)

Leo Tolstoy is/was a renowned Russian author. He is thought to be the greatest of his time in fact he was nominated for many awards but sadly he never won any of them. Tolstoy’s works are widely studied today and are the inspiration from for many socialists throughout history (Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Lenin, etc.). IN MY OPINION Lev tolstoj and/or alexejtolstoj in a chart can indicate a) your realistic point of view or how you write in terms of realism, b) where you may be seen as great, c) where you may not receive the prize for your incredible work though it is widely respected and loved, and/or d) where you may inspire political change.

where lev tolstoj and alexejtolstoj are for me and how it affects me personally: lev tolstoj 6h in virgo at 5° and alexejtolstoj 10h in capricorn 9° - this makes a bit of sense to me not because i love tolstoy (no offense to levy t but prefer pushkin and dostoevsky) but because of my political ideology. i am really quite diplomatic and political when you get into nitty gritty with me so these two asteroids being in public houses make sense to me. this may even back up my aldrin placement and my thoughts/beliefs that i may becomes a figure head at some point. i, like tolstoy, believe in toppling governments and the deconstruction of institutions - i belief that there will alway be a chain of command but that we should move towards transcendentalism. if we all have equality then we can all just worry about ourselves - like do you ever notice how life gets more difficult when others are trying to control how other people are living? like just focus on yourself and stop trying to control everyone and just embrace the fact that you are alive. go get another hobby, you aren’t living other peoples lives so like what do you care - go hug a tree or something. get a cat lmao. 

lova (asteroid 868)

Lova is an asteroid with no known origin but is most similar to the word lover. A lover is someone who gives romantic affections to the person they are devoted to. This term is most commonly used in impermanent relationships. IN MY OPINION Lova in a chart represents a) where you are the most affection towards others and they return the sentiment, b) where you may experience devotion, and/or c) where you are likely to experience an incredible, unforgettable love story.

where lova is for me and how it affects me personally: 6h in virgo at 6° - haha this is where it gets interesting. what if told you my vertex is in the 7h at 22°, my DSC is in virgo, my adonis is in 7h, orpheus is in my 7h, etc. that’s a lot, right? yea, i’m convinced that i'm going to meet my romantic partner in business-like setting - it’s all too earthy to be anything else (PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG). my 7h ruler is in my 8h that’s like banking so like :p okeyyyy.

lucubratio (asteroid 3021)

Lucubratio is the Latin word used to describe the act of studying or working at night. IN MY OPINION Lucubratio can be used to tell you a) how well you work at night, b) in what area you are most productive at night, and/or c) if you could be considered nocturnal.

where lucubratio is for me and how it affects me personally: 6h in virgo at 5° - i definitely would work through a night to be on track with something whether it is to unpack a whole house, write a paper, or whatever goal i have set - i would do it. i’ll sleep when i’m dead type of vibes. but at the end of the day, i am NOT a night owl this asteroid sextiles the sun and is at a leo degree for me so i am definitely the most productive when it is light out.

madhatter (asteroid 6735)

The Mad Hatter, or Hatter as he is referred to as in Lewis Carroll’s novel, acts as a harbinger for Alice on her way through Wonderland. He is considered mildly impolite and is notably frustrated with Alice’s every action and response to questions or circumstance. He is the host of the Tea Party and oftentimes provokes his guests. His harbinger statement occurs when he tells Alice why he and the March hare are essentially stuck in never ending tea time. Hatter sung to the Queen of Hearts at a celebration and she didn’t like it - she sentenced him to death for “murdering the time.” Thus time is frozen in the grove at 6:00 making it always tea time and never execution time. Eventually, Alice is driven away by the Hatter’s mad and nervous energy. IN MY OPINION Madhatter in a chart may indicate a) where you tend to drive people away, b) where you are indefinitely frustrated with others, c) where you may have a vital warning for others, and/or d) where you are constantly worried or stressed to the point of madness.

OTHER RELATED ASTEROIDS: alice (291), marchare (6736), redqueen (17681), and lewiscarrol (6984)!

where madhatter is for me and how it affects me personally: 9h in sagittarius at 1° - lmao tell me this isn’t true. i feel like i naturally repel religious people, people in a college setting, or even when i am out in the world on my own traveling. i can be very frustrating to deal with when i am talking about religion because of being agnostic i can see the pros and cons - i am not afraid to tell others where i think a religious sect has a flaw. i do tend to be the one to warn others about traveling abroad (what to do versus not to do), colleges pros and cons, etc. my higher thinking tend to be seen as too mystical or like wishful thinking making others think that i am a bit mad as well (sextile neptune). lol not an 8h stellium in the persona chart though...

michelangelo (asteroid 3001)

Michelangelo was a very popular sculptor, painter, architect, and poet from the Florentine Renaissance era. His work influenced the Western art movements at the time - more particularly humanism (emphasizes the potential of humans) and naturalism (emphasizes reality of the subject matter). Michelangelo created one of the most famous, if not the most famous, nudes of all time - David. IN MY OPINION Michelangelo in your chart represents a) how artistic you are, b) where you may set the standards for a trend, c) where you see the most reality in a situation, and/or d) where you have the potential to receive fame for something you create or do.

where michelangelo is for me and how it affects me personally: 7h in libra at 25° - i hope my future hubby is built like David :p but no seriously that libra placement takes precedent for my artistic eye. i’m sure we have all noticed my taste in art and the tendencies of the color palette as well - i love a classic look. i do think i set a standard for the type of partner i want very strictly though (no shit 7h, 25°, libra - that’s all). i believe based on my whole chart whoever my mystical partner is is going to create some sort of fame or popular memory (my vertex is in the 7h too and conjunct all this lol (refer to lova reflection)).

nostalgia (asteroid 3162)

The word nostalgia originated from the Greek words nostos and algos - which become returning home to pain. Modern Latin made it into nostalgia - acute homesickness. The word nostalgia today is used to describe sentimentality or a wistfulness for the past. IN MY OPINION Nostalgia in your chart shows you where and what over you are likely to experience nostalgia.

where nostalgia is for me and how it helps me personally: 10h in capricorn at 10° - that’s a shit ton of capricorn energy, no? is it then shocking to you that i am not a very nostalgic person? is it even more shocking that i have a 1h and 2h stellium in the persona chart? NOW IM GONNA CRUSH THOSE STELLIUMS WITH 12H CHIRON (22°) AND PLUTO (13°) - FUCK YOU CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (pt2). lol but seriously i can’t afford being nostalgic it may kill me emotionally and mentally.

otzi (asteroid 5803)

Ötzi, also known as the Iceman, is a natural (or accidentally preserved) mummy that was discovered on the border between Austria and Italy (my god i still adore forensics LETS GO NASH CLASSIFICATIONS - also Austria and Italy have gotten into legal battles over who’s land the body was on). It is thought that Ötzi was murder due to the arrowhead found embedded in his left shoulder and other wounds. His death circumstances are still studied today. Ötzi is suspected to have eaten two hours before this death, to have been some sort of shepherd, and to have had a parasitic infection. Many believed he died from the arrow wound - some believe that it was multiple people who may have come for him, that their was an attempt to remove the arrowhead, and that his body was moved to the higher, snowier elevation. IN MY OPINION Otzi in a chart can show you a) where your enemies are likely to strike you down, b) where people tend to examine you the most, and/or c) where you cause a lot of speculation.

where otzi is for me and how it affects me personally: 8h in scorpio at 6° - not the 8h… any way looks like i am my own enemy (otzi conjunct sun, moon, and mercury). and a 4h stellium in the persona chart… greatttt (he was just trying to herd his sheep).

see part 2.5 for other christmas-y & wintry asteroids!

porta coeli (asteroid 3276)

Porta coeli is the Latin phrase for “heaven’s gate.” Porta coeli has been incorporated in many architectural structures including churches to show a sense of sanctity. IN MY OPINION Porta coeli in a chart can show a) where you are the most at peace, b) where you may have views of great beauty, and/or c) when there is both purity and reward for your good deeds. 

where porta coeli is for me and how it affects me personally: 6h in virgo at 10° - lol is this a running joke? possibly. did i ask that my mans look like David? possibly. are we getting a strange angelic vibe? perhaps.

santa (asteroid 1288)

Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, or Santa is the Western Christian icon who is believed to bring children gifts on Christmas Eve. These gifts are highly dependent on whether the child is “naughty” or “nice” - coal is given to the naughty children and toys to the nice. Toys are meant to be a treat while coal serves as a practical reminder to behave better and perhaps some day you’ll get a real treat (like a diamond - with enough pressure and time coal transforms into diamonds). Coal also serves as a reminder to be more mindful of your actions and to not take things for granted - coal used to be popular to heat homes with (kids had to be reminded how lucky they truly were for simply being warm). IN MY OPINION Santa in a chart represents a) your wonder/wishes, b) where you tend to do a lot of gift giving, c) how you experienced fun/joy as a child (or child-like joy in your life), d) your traditions, and/or e) where you may need to be reminded of how lucky you are as well as where to remain grateful for what you have.

where santa is for me and how it affects me personally: 8h in scorpio at 17° - lol not the 8h. i actually grew up disliking christmas and was kind of seen as the scrooge or grinch of the family (santa square uranus). but like those two characters i had my redemption - i really enjoy gift giving and i get told that my gifts are quite wonderful they are always “perfect” or just what they wanted despite not having asked for anything (8h is an intimacy and deep connection with someone - indicating that i just know what friends and family would like based on knowing them and having listened to them for quite some time). in my persona chart for this asteroid the sun is in the 2h house ;) so i definitely give that wondrous gift that wasn’t even mentioned but is “perfect.”

see part 2.5 for other christmas-y & wintry asteroids!

schulz (asteroid 3524)

Charles Schulz was a popular American cartoonist who was known for his comic strip Peanuts (featured Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Lucy, and many other lovable characters). He is considered one of the most influential and greatest cartoonist of the era having earned $1.1B USD in his lifetime. IN MY OPINION Schulz in your chart can indicate a) interests in comics, b) artistic ability, and/or c) where you may be consider very influential in your field of choice.

where schulz is for me and how it affects me personally: 1h in aries at 27° in retrograde - i feel like i grew up on these comics and even the holiday specials. every time i see the animated version or the comic section in a newspaper, i go back in time lol. i feel like this fits the retrograde and the aries child-like energy.

tardis (asteroid 3325)

The TARDIS, or the Time And Relative Dimension In Space, is featured in the popular Doctor Who television series. It appears extremely paradoxical as though it’s a small police box on the outside but in reality it’s a big sci-fi space and time machine on the inside. IN MY OPINION TARDIS in your chart can show a) where you have incredible tools at your disposal, b) where your opportunity to go anywhere lies, and/or c) where you may have a paradox in your life.

where tardis is for me and how it affects me personally: 7h in virgo at 18° - :) i swear to god i literally have a running list of asteroids and picked at random 25 different asteroids. who knew we would be debating my potential wifey status lmfao. turns out my partnership is my paradox and my opportunity to travel is.

please let me know if you all enjoyed this - i could do a part two some other time!

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[rosebrushstars]

Astrology Notes

This is my first time posting an astro observations post. Im not much of a professional, I studied astrology through books and online astrologers. BUT I think sharing what I know from observing ppl around me would help others to gain more knowledge about themselves or maybe understand something. 

Lastly, I do this because I want to. 

WE ALL GONNA DIE ONE DAY SO WHY NOT.

Gemini venus are famous for flirting but do you know they have a very good sense of fashion? Almost too good that you won’t see them looking ugly even if they r just wearing a table cloth wrapped around their body

You can check your 5H for how you feel around children. 

Aries in 5H - Impatient as eff 

(everything has a good side and a shadow side, I am a bit cynical so Im only gonna state the bad ones)

Cap in 5H - Srsly, why are they acting so childish? (cuz they are children)

Leo in 5H - play with them, get bullied by the children, feel so done but do anything for them because they’ll tell u THEY ARE BABIES UWU

The house that your Jupiter is in would show your luck

Jupiter in 10H - lucky when it comes to career

Jupiter in 12H - LAST MINUTE LUCK ( so magical sometimes)

Jupiter in 11H - Lucky with friends ( the most loved one in friend groups)

It is fun to see Aries mars and Pisces mars dating. (ofc im joking)

One is loud, one is shy.

One is overthinking about marriage , one is talking about the poster on the wall. lol

Leo venus loves to bully their partner. 

Not in the way of Scorpios. But more like a baby pouting and yelling because their partner shifted their attention to wipe off the dust on the table for one second.

Even if you have super mature placements in your natal chart, one Leo venus and boom you are a baby.

Scorpio dominant would die for spicy foods.

Scorpio loves vibrant colors so much like pink, yellow or cyan but the ones that they are comfortable to wear are RED and BLACK. 

They just like to represent themselves in RED or BLACK. But check their accessories or room color, you see those cute colors. 

Venus in 12H conjuncts ascendant do not know the fact that they are loved and ppl biased them. they think it’s just ppl casually being nice to them. 

Aquarius in personal placements are weird as eff but they are proud it.

If you are both Capricorn-Aquarius Dominant, you’re acting serious but feel awkward. (and it’s obvious to everyone)

Find a celebrity with this placement and you’ll see why. 

Sag Sun are super nice and get along with everyone until Scorpio Dominant wants a deep conversation. 

Gemini are toxic as eff and everyone hates them. 

NO NO NO Have you see a real Gemini who has gone through bad shit? 

They are so fun and loving and also not to mention their well-balanced and diverse knowledge. 

They are know-it-alls since they were born but the thing they have learnt from their dark side is when to join the conversation and when to say proper things.

I have read an astrologer’s post yesterday( im so sorry i don’t remember ur name) everyone hates Gemini until they talk all the way to your heart . (im so sorry im not a native so i don’t know if im using good eng)

Taurus or Capricorn plus Gemini placements would steal your heart without you knowing. 

You can tell who’s Aries just by looking at how they sit.

Their sitting posture says Im ready for anything, Im the best

Also it looks like they are flirting with you.

I have a soft spot for Taurus Moons. 

All three earth signs are great mentors but here’s the difference,

Taurus is super nice super patient and gives off a very stable vibe. Would take the bullet for you as a good supervisor if you make a mistake at your work. They will show you how to fix it. 

Virgo would also take the bullet for you but AFTER that, you’d get scolded for every little mistake you’d done and will not stop mentioning it just to make sure you remember it. Plus scary stares. 

Capricorn will tell the boss what you did exactly and would take the responsibility as a supervisor. But you won’t get scolded like Virgo would do to u. You would get an example of work they did and they will show you how they fixed your mistake. Fine I’ll do it myself vibe

Have you ever met an Cancer-Taurus Dominant person?

You are lucky if you’ve met one.

Super Nice Gentlemen.

Caring Independent Ladies.

If a Cancer cries because a guy bullies them, here’s what the others would do,

Aries would punch the dude who makes them cry.

Taurus would sooth them with gentle words. 

Gemini would make jokes to make them laugh and curse the bully at the same time. 

Leo would help Aries punching the bully.

Virgo would act like they’re trying to knock off the fight but not really. they’d be probably happy with the bully getting punched.

Libra is the only one who wants to talk things over but too afraid to tell Aries and Leo to stop.

Scorpio is tired of Cancer crying and the bullshit happening in front of them so they would probably be drawing a plan to make sure the bully learn the lesson.(not gonna discuss the details)

Sag is the bully. JK JK 

Capricorn would call the police. 

Aquarius is on the same page with Libra and manage to get Leo out of the fight. (nobody can’t stop Aries though)

Pisces would cry with cancer cuz they got bullied in the past also.

Hey Universe, 

Finally im writing. u see?

[gg-astrology]

I seriously love your blog, you put in so much time and effort into all of this so thank you (: What are you thoughts on cap sun, pisces moon, and scorpio rising girls?

Hey there!! 💕💕💕💕 Aaaaah thank u so much! 💕💕 I’m just Doing My Best Here 💕

[Below Cut: Capricorn Sun - Pisces Moon 💧]

Highly artistic and dreamy individual?

These people likes to escape reality into their fantasy world, has a lot of imaginative qualities to them that probably often secretly (or openly) day-dream about stuff while looking out the window (listening to music is a daily ritual/activity-- rich inner world, doesn’t like to be disturbed) 

To the people outside they may look dreamy/mysterious--- one of those rebellious type of people who’s like ‘-shrugs- yeah I like their music’ to an obscure artist or something. 

Soft smiles, often sleepy. These people enjoys sleeping and relaxing more than the typical Capricorn. They move at their own pace (slow, relax) looks laid back when they’re stress free. Laughs easier. 

Probably keeps a notebook with them skdjfnkdnf or something to take notes in will help them expresses themselves/keep track of their minds

They don’t know this but literally they’re like....kinda hipster ksjnfknsdkvn

Ah and sometimes no matter how they appea,r whether they talk about it openly or not--- they have a strange connection to the morbid/darker side of life sometimes

 The thing about these people is that they often don’t know where these ‘intuitions’ are coming from -- they may be prone to recognizing/realizing some of their emotions (like melancholic, missing someone, strong emotions) but the happier ones, or rather the more ‘neutral’ ones to them are like-- confusion???????

Because they’re kinda slow on the up-take, they can take days for Moods to let go of them (like, if they were writing a personal piece one night letting it all out-- then the next few days it’ll STILL be with them)

They’re rather observers, so they take notice/interests in things about others like their emotionality/mood quite easily

At the same time, they are kinder and much more compassionate than most Capricorn. The way they approach these things is sometimes with uncertainty, like ‘is this my business? should i say something?’ to a person they don’t know-- but to close friends, they’re quick to softly and subtlety offer their hands/energy if they need them

While they may be soft and understanding, they are however a little detached because Capricorn is quite an independent sign. If the other person needs them, they will have to seek them out. Or if the opportunity is there, then it will happen.

Don’t wait for these people to come running asking for updates on situations, sometimes the stress/empathy they have for others can affect their own moods/stress-level and mentality. So they can’t let others over-consume their brain/energy level.

Y know, like. ‘Im here for you.’ But they also expect you to know they aren’t your slave and can’t be at your every beck and call--- or there to receive the backlash of your emotions all the time

No matter how perceptive these Capricorn/Pisces gets--- they still have some consciousness/independence in them and will not stand for more than what they can handle

As in, they’ll let you know if they need a ‘time out’ from your emotional drama. It’s not you, it’s them. They can’t handle That Much emotions.

So you get this enigmatic character (for others) that adds to their appeal, sensitive and stubborn, independent yet caring. They’re a living breathing ‘soft, sensitive lover’ trope although nobody would’ve guessed it exactly (because they may not like to ‘look’ vulnerable to the surface in case anyone takes advantage of them/think they can impose themselves onto them--- they’re defensive and on-guard at All Times).

Yet knowing the Capricorn/Pisces and staying with them can be more complicated than that, they don’t even know themselves sometimes dfkjnkn so they might look for partners who sparks an understanding in them, a sense that they energize them, get them, can teach them more about themselves (because they may know them better than the Capricorn/Pisces does)

Watch that they aren’t doing this so they’re like--- getting soft and easily romanticized. These Capricorn/Pisces person can have a hard time letting go, feelings overwhelmed them but they always want to make like-- a present or something heart-felt/sincere so the other person knows they’re always appreciated and loved so much by them.

(They may be notoriously bad at saying this out loud so you’ll get like, gifts or letters to express this instead ksdjnkdn)

With Capricorn/Pisces-- because they have pretty high ideals, they also have really high moral ethics and won’t compromise their humane/ethical considerations for success.

Which--y know, is an extremely good thing because it makes them such a strong advocate for certain things. But because they do have that Pisces-- they tend to over-analyze themselves and their actions, trying to ‘catch’ themselves both past and present if they’ve ever done anything contradictory to what they strongly believe in.

If they do catch themselves being ‘hypocritical’ in situations, they’re immediately distraught. Although it’s pretty funny to bystander (that’s a lil insensitive) they also have to realize that people grow, and it’s admitting that they grow/develop change and giving this disclosure is what makes us humans in society.

The Capricorn/Pisces is stubborn, it doesn’t like to believe it was EVER wrong in it’s life. Instead of living in self-pity, these people would rather repress everything and think they do not want to live with ‘regrets’.

Past mistakes are experiences that could be made into poems/creative outlet. But letting mistakes be mistakes, just admitting that it was a mistake-- is something that’s extremely hard for them to admit to. 

Although they don’t like to admit it (and they know, they just don’t like to face the situation) -- they know they may have unchecked ego. No matter how much they strive to be compassionate, giving, better to other people. They’ll always have this fear of facing themselves, and the part of them that they (w/ prejudice) think is selfish, manipulative, egoistic and hard-headed. Anything they don’t want to be.

Want to accept the good side (prove to others that they’re good) without acknowledging the bad, or wanting the bad side to be something else. Something more manageable for them to fix or learn from or admit to 

(They don’t like their own problems. And this can lead them to procrastinating theirs and fixing everyone else’s problems instead).

Aaaah these Capricorn/Pisces are sensitive, but don’t worry your problems aren’t that big of a deal ;; 💕 It’s easily adjustable too, since it’s just-- this one big clump of core problem that you can easily untangle one and then everything else will be good for you dskfgjnksdfnjg

It’s hard-- and it’s definitely troublesome because it is a big deal to you. I think the biggest thing right now is to do some self-evaluation. Our end goal is to have you become more self-accepting sincerely/honestly through hard work and not just saying you are. 

If you’re into astrology, look to where your Pluto is on your chart. See what it’s aspecting and try to focus your energy in getting along/understanding Pluto better (or Neptune/Uranus and tackling it’s problem if that’s the case)

Anything in 12H could help as well, try looking at the ruler or any planets in the house. Try looking at how to manifest/bring or work with that energy into it being easier for you (learning it’s lessons)

If you’re new to astrology and just want to have a good time, here’s some practical advice for you: try embodying or thinking about a Cancer friend. They won’t let you get away with this stuff, and they’re much easier to handle when they’re giving you support/advice when you’re emotionally vulnerable than you realize. 

Given that this Cancer has a semi-decent relationship with you, they’ll be better at letting you adjust and admit at your own pace when you want to ‘face’ your faults. 

But you have to do it, just remember that the Cancer is supportive and there for you so you’ll have to take the ‘role’ of a more objective and less emotional person because of this relationship. It’ll be natural, since you tend to switch gears when someone is more sensitive/emotionally astute than you are anyways. 

The hardest part is ‘facing’ your faults, and there’s no shame is putting yourself in situations where you feel surrounded by people who are clearly and overwhelming better than you at emotions. It makes you learn (through osmosis ksjnfsk) how to recognize and be better at emotions, so really-- seek them out! 

Another thing about Capricorn/Pisces is that they can feel negative emotions stronger than happy ones skdjfnksn especially when it comes to their own guilt partially because of the ‘heaviness’ of their emotions

They have a highly reactive imagination-- sometimes they day-dream about things occurring to them: along the terms of ‘saving’ someone (themselves/others) or a particularly hard and unforgettable thing where they come out successful/happy afterwards (healed). There’s some ‘hope/happiness’ in saving themselves/others, and they may funnel their ‘ambition’ into those imagination this way instead. 

Sometimes they are just sad or feeling over-casted for some reason, if they need space/feeling detached it’s mostly because they’re a rather receptive person to how they are in the material world and how ‘heavy’ it can be

That’s all I have for Capricorn/Pisces 💕 I hope you enjoyed! 💕

[imanes]

what did you do Reine Imane ?

oh first of all i sat myself down to get my priorities straight. my biggest problem in college was that i favoured short term fixes and procrastination instead of delayed gratification. i attended all of my lectures (including the 6pm anthropology lecture where only 2 other students showed up lol) and made a point to type all of my notes myself (i’m the annoying bitch that starts typing as soon as the prof says ‘hello’ lmao). to improve my study habit i enrolled my friend into study sessions at the library to make sure we both understood the material. i’d take a 10 minute break every 60 minutes and during my break i’d just people watch or doodle or eat something/drink some coffee (or if the weather was nice to breathe some fresh air!!) i made a point to never ask for the wifi password and i was a broke student paying for my own phone bill so i always used my data sparingly which meant i had no internet to tempt me into distracting myself. i showed up at the library at 10am after a good night of sleep and a solid breakfast and left at 8pm to just unwind at home by reading a book or watching a movie. everyone has their own method to retain what they’re studying but personally two things worked the best for me:

for written exams, i read the material and highlighted what was important. after that, i made my own summary in a dedicated notebook

for oral exams, i did the same thing and then when i got home i recorded myself reading my notes to make sure i memorised everything

every day my friend and i would agree to study the same thing (more or less, we had different rhythms and didn’t pressure one another) so that we could quiz each other on stuff we didn’t quite grasp or to make sure we got everything straight. it was important for both of us to show the same level of motivation by not letting the other down and going together to the library to support one another. we’d also take breaks together to talk about things that had nothing to do with what we were studying. it’s REALLY important to unwind and take time for yourself. there were days where i was more distracted than others and i included extra time for myself in my schedule to not stress myself out with deadlines. allocating some time for distraction is important so that you know that you have more time than absolutely necessary. giving yourself time and not pressuring yourself more than you should is absolutely primordial for your health! 

anyways all of that did wonders for my procrastination problems and i aced my exams :-) it probably sounds like a given for a lot of people but for those of us who are easily distracted and procrastinate a lot, putting myself on a schedule and finding someone to hold me accountable was revolutionary. more people ended up joining us and i ended up being the head of the study group lmao but by the end of it i was able to give mini lectures and tutorials to my study partners and that’s another interesting way to check whether or not you fully grasp whatever you’re studying. and if you don’t have partners, quiz yourself by writing down questions and see if you can answer them.

tl;dr: schedule your days, SLEEP, don’t start studying at the ass crack of dawn, allocate time for breaks and distractions, avoid the internet (there are apps for that too), study partners are very useful, feed yourself properly and treat urself to smt nice from time to time bc studying sucks and you’re doing your best, get your ass out of the environment that enables you to not do your work (for me it was dragging myself to the library every day), ask questions if you don’t understand something and volunteer information to see if you do understand what you’ve been learning (surrounding urself w/ likeminded people is a must throughout your uni years imo), and don’t study for more than 8 hours a day MAX. i know some people flex by studying for 12h+ but i don’t buy into praising detrimental behaviours like u gotta give urself a break we aren’t machines and u have to listen to urself and not overwork urself w/o being self-indulgent 

i hope this was of some use for you!! 

[somedrunkasswombat]

so someone just fucking sent me this

ehem sorry but to correct u i worked for 12h a day 5 days a week for. 2 weeks in a row and 7h Saturdays

i also sent her a list of all my worries and problems :') took me 5 messages to send it all cause it was so long xD it was 50+lines long and told her i am literally fucking hospitalised cause of my depression and anxiety and my suicidal tendencies like nooo my life isn't shit i am only fucking hospitalised for atleast 1 more month and i literally fucking tried to kill myself like 30 times but yeah i am fine nothing is wrong :)

here is the list btw :D

okay so i was bullied 8 of 9 schoolyears, beaten, insulted, cornered, almost killed, thrown infront of the bus at the busstop several times, got a iceball against the back of my head only missing the concrete by a milimeter, someone threw a small object so hard towards me i managed to dodge it but it broke the blackboard, i had noone i  those schoolyears who i can meet, talk to, call etc. i was forced to cut my hair till i was 18 and as a kid i was forced to play football, i fucking hated it with passion, i am not allowed to wear makeup, dress girly, do anything feminine, my dad is drunk every fucking day often threatening to cut my hair when i sleep, i worked as a trainee for 2 and a half year at the most abusive fucking shitplace who treated me like shit threatened me used me abused me and didn't care a single bit about my fucking mental. health and my parents refused to let me leave the job, noone in the school talked to me, cares about me, or even look at me they just fucking talk behind my back, i am not fucking allowed todo anything feminine i can't train my voice i can't train makeup i can't dress fancy, my parents hate the way how feminine my talking is, i can't go out my town is the biggest shithole and my parents hate driving me home and even fucking charge me for it the bus connects are shit. i am scared of shopping cause i will get fucking judged if i am at the female section and i will feel. like shit at the male sections, i have noone for mental support i have noone i can talk to i have noone i can hug with feeling i have fucking noone i am fucking lonely i will fucking die alone as a fucking virgin forgotten and fucking die and i am. fucking trans and as i transition i will probably be fucking beaten up several times in the streets and also i get ignored all the time and don't even make me talk about the political situation of austria

also that list is a short form :D