#and if this year hasn't been the best i hope the next is better <3< /div>
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hey everyone,,,
i know i have not been active very much this year because i became very busy with school and life in general, but i super quickly wanted to thank the people who still comment and like the things i've posted because like it warms my heart opening the app once in a while (when i get the chance) and still seeing that.
apologies for not being super active you guys, i do have some things under my belt that i will finish if i ever get the chance. but i wanted to say thank you to all you guys, i appreciate all of you so incredibly much. and happy new years!!
#keke.talks#hope everyone has a great new years!!#and if this year hasn't been the best i hope the next is better <3
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╰┈➤ ❝ desire • l.n c.l ❞ xi
part ten - part twelve
➪ Charles hasn't paid much attention to you after your daughter was born but a certain Brit does.
➪ charles finally realizes things between you and lando are in fact serious.
➪ mom!reader x dad!Charles x lando
➪ sorry this took so long :') charles needs professional help <3
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milliexoxo

liked by y/nusername, logansargeant and 5,784 others
milliexoxo okay but my mom speaks italian
tagged: landonorris, y/nusername, carlossainz55
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norrizz NAH MISS ZOE LECLERC SIT DOWN IM NOT READY FOR YOU TO STAND
↳ yukisan HONESTLY WHATS NEXT WALKING?!
bott_ass HAVE Y'ALL NOT SEEN MILS LATEST VLOG SHE DOES WALK ALREADY
norrizz NAH SEDATE ME IM NOT READY FOR THIS
norry4 Y'ALL FORGOT ITS HER 1ST BIRTHDAY IN LIKE 2 WEEKS?!
landoscar look at mom and dad :(
julieeeexo refuse to believe that's zoë, why is she growing so fast?!
carlandooo carlos and zoë?! 🥺
↳ sharl16 charles punching air rn 😂
charliecharlie aw I'm becoming the biggest y/nlando shipper 😩
logansargeant love the new haircut. ����
↳ hamilt44n asjklmsks arianna what are you doing here?!
grussell63 @.y/nusername help your kid out 😭
landonorizzzz pls @.y/nusername adopt logan as well 😭
landofourr wait is this considered a y/nlando hard launch?
↳ chilisainz girl they don't need a hard launch, it's so obvious with everything they do 💀
versainz155 carlos casually hanging out with lando and his little family is what I'm living for <3
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y/nusername posted to their story

charles_leclerc replied to your story
charles_leclerc
Where's zoë?
y/nusername
with millie
charles_leclerc
What hotel are you staying in?
y/nusername
we rented a place, zoë is not stuck in a hotel room if that's what you're hinting at, she's able to crawl and walk around all she want.
charles_leclerc
You go on a lot of dates with lando and leave zoë with someone else
y/nusername
you're joking, right?
you're becoming a real asshole, Charles
get a grip
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y/nusername

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 768,523 others
y/nusername quando in Italia 🧀 🍝 (when in italy)
tagged: landonorris, milliexoxo
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norry4 not the bucket hat, my girl has been hanging around with lando to much 😩
milliexoxo I told y'all my mom speaks Italian
↳ charlesgirlies your 'mom' speaks Italian because her baby daddy is half italian
oscarpastry charles is not half Italian 💀
charlesgirlies girl, he is in spirit lmao
bobnorriz lando and zoë content y'all 🥰
norstappen not really sure if I like the fact zoë is walking but okay..rude :(
el645 when are you going to admit you cheated on charles?
↳ hamilt44n oh god the stalker made its way to insta 💀
yukisan when is charles going to admit he cheated on y/n?
el645 aren't yall curious why they broke up?
charlescharles dude we don't need to know why they broke up? 🤡
landonorris been cooking with my best friend 💜
↳ hamiltonh SHUT UP 😭😭 😭
milliexoxo close to turning a year and still a better cook than you
bott_ass girl you're never going to get along with your stepdad if you keep bullying him like this
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y/nusername
📍 Nice, France

liked by milliexoxo, maxfewtrell and 675,458 others
y/nusername a year ago the tiniest little girl changed my life for the better, happy 1st birthday to our silly little bear ❤️❤️❤️❤️
view all 1,425 comments
bott_ass happy birthday zoë!
maxfewtrell happy 1st birthday to my best friend ❤️
riabish happy birthday pretty girl! 💜💜
logansargeant happy 1st birthday zoë!
↳ hamilt44n I love this, I hope y/n adopted Logan 🥺
milliexoxo my silly little girlfriend, hope you have the happiest of birthdays! <3
carlossainz55 happy birthday to the funniest girl ❤️
norrizz this girlie is so loved 😭 happy b-day little princess! 😍
el645 funny for someone who didn't want a kid in the first place
↳ chilisainz Noelle get your ass out of here
norry4 man's must be blind, this woman LOVES her daughter
lando happy birthday to our little bear 🐻
↳ y/nusername ❤️❤️
landonorris ❤️❤️
yukisan everyday I come on this app and cry :(
charles16 Monaco gp week? Nah, it's been Zoë her week ❤️
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y/nusername

liked by milliexoxo, maxfewtrell and 698,452 others
y/nusername the bestest company. <3
tagged: milliexoxo, logansargeant, landonorris, liamlawson30
yukisan Logan had been officially adopted 😭
↳ grussell63 and Liam & his girlfriend?! 😭
lewisham Liam and y/n gave little brother big sister vibes back when Liam took dr3 his seat for a while, I'm not surprised!
norrizz I don't think y'all realize y/n started socialising way more after she left charles, I wonder with who she's hanging out with 👀
landoscar lando and oscar content thank you queen!!!!
norry4 mom and dad with their kids <3
chilisainz wonder where the die hard y/ncharles shippers are right now..
↳ yukisan probably still skipping around in delululand
mcnorris lads, she's still dating charles, lando and y/n are just friends...duh 🤪
yukisan if that's what it's like to have lando as just a friend, can I have him as a friend as well 😭
lawsonbaby LIAM?! CANT WAIT TO SEE THE VLOG
carlando they're insta official 🥺
maxfewtrell cute but where am I?
↳ milliexoxo this post is meant for the cute people..
landonorris and yet you're in it..
milliexoxo 😲
y/nusername contrary to popular beliefs, I'm actually nice and didn't want to turn you into another meme
maxfewtrell I appreciate that, thanks mate ❤️
nortrell MATE?! Best buds these two 😭
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Desire taglist; @fangirl-dot-cm @sainzluvrr @writingworlds @chezmardybum @lewisvinga @xjval @fanficweasley @rockyhayzkid @aundercover @thecubanator2 @minchedchilli @crimeshowjunkie @alisoncasey21 @eeviepepi08 @shamelesspotatos @sleepybrokenmelle @leireggsworld @janeholt3 @iamahalicinationn @dessxoxsworld @kapsylia @22yuki @dark-night-sky-99 @sheslikeacurse @nerdreader
Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @softboystarkey @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @harrysdimple05 @minkyungseokie @pretty-little-bunny382728 @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @severewobblerlightdragon @cherry-piee @namgification @mycenterfold @devineendevers @celestialend
Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10 @bored-brunette2 @i83andrew @mcmuppet @justdreamersdream
#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#lando norris#charles leclerc#lando norris smau#charles leclerc smau#lando norris fanfic#charles leclerc fanfic#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#lando x reader#charles x reader
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instagram
This but Sterek.
Derek is going to be 4 soon (Christmas Baby Derek 4ever), and Stiles turned 3 this year. They're friends because their moms often spend their days together — Talia's the Mayor and Claudia's the District Attorney. They're both busy women, and so are their families. John's busy being grilled under the current Sheriff, and all the Hales except Nana Hale have one or the other thing going on.
That means that Derek, as the youngest currently (Cora hasn't been born yet), is left to be babysat by Nana most days. Thing is, Nana Hale only speaks Spanish, so Derek only knows how to speak and understand Spanish. It's alright because as a werewolf he's anyways homeschooled, and the whole pack speaks Spanish so it's not a big deal.
On the other hand, John and Claudia are pretty much on their own, and quite busy making the best of their respective careers. Still, they manage to find time to be good parents, somehow. As John's job is more on-the-field and thus dangerous, Stiles spends most of his time with Claudia in her office.
Thing is, Claudia and John speak in English outside, and do try to speak in English with Stiles because he's gotta learn, he'll soon go to school. But they're more comfortable speaking in Polish, and it slips out more often than not, even when they promise each other to not do it because of Stiles. And Stiles? He understands English, a little bit, but he's speaking Polish like a pro.
Lo and behold the few days where both Talia and Claudia have to take their sons to work with them, and these two, despite the language barrier, become best friends. Now I'm not sure if there's any common words between the two languages, but I do imagine little Stiles and little Derek speaking pretty fast to each other, hoping the other understands them, and then both reaching for the same toy they were saying, "I'll play with that!"
Talia and Claudia think there's about to be a fight.
They're wrong.
Derek's eyebrows, entirely their own language, somehow becomes instinctually parsable to Stiles, who babbles in Polish something along the lines of, "You can have it! Take the wolf, I'll take the fox!"
And he does just that. Derek beams, and decides sharing while playing is better, anyways.
Fast forward to their teenage years, their families and friends are tired and sick of hearing a new language every week.
One week Stiles will be talking to Derek in Spanish, while Derek replies in French.
Next week Derek would be cursing Stiles out in Russian, while Stiles would be begging for forgiveness in Sanskrit.
Another week, Stiles would be flirting with Derek in Latin ("it's a dead language! how??" — everyone that knows them), while Derek would be blushing and mumbling sweet affections in Polish.
It is only when they speak to others that they speak in English. To each other, though? Derek really captured it best in their toddlerhood: sharing is better; so, they share new languages with each other.
#sterek#derek hale#stiles stilinski#teen wolf#inspired by instagram#i do see the irony of it being a tumblr post on insta then back here lol#polyglot#polyglot!sterek#polyglot!derek hale#polyglot!stiles stilinski#sterek fic ideas#anyone wanna write a fic pls take this as a blanket permission!#just pls tag me 🫶#i wanna read it too!#Instagram
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angel’s 3k 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭



we hit 3k!!!! ahhhhh thank you so so so much for reading and supporting my works, whether you've only read one of my works or you've read multiple it really means a lot to me and I hope to write more and more in the future. I really love writing and this blog is my utmost passion!! I really love everyone who's made it a better place for me and most importantly every single writer I have read who has inspired me in each and every way!! thank you for your support <3
sappy time over but here's ten whole fics that i have planned in celebration for the next month or two.
(spoiler: fics are named after song lyrics and the song titles are in each synopsis, I hope you can spot them! <3)
if you would like to added to the taglist for one or multiple works let me know and I can tag you!!
" you can be careless with me "
sukuna x fem!reader | nsfw & angst synopsis: you know sukuna doesn't do relationships, let alone fall in love , but you convince him that he doesn't have to be perfect. you allow him the precious chance to be careless with you. word count: tba
" you don't love him if you're thinking of me "
toji x fem!reader | nsfw synopsis: you're still hung up on your ex. in an attempt to move on you jump into a new relationship...sooner or later it doesn't work out and you find yourself back in toji's arms. after confessing your relationships woes he tells you to repeat after him the words you've known all along... word count: tba
" but when I'm older, i'll be moving onward "
childhood best friend! suguru x gn!reader | fluff & angst synopsis: it's been a while since you've seen suguru. a whole year in fact. whilst being away at university you hope he's still the suguru you still remember. only one way to find out when he texts you...'meet me at our spot'. word count: tba
" hold me, console me and then i'll leave without a trace "
suguru x gn!reader | angst synopsis: suguru seems different. heavy under eye bags, a little more quiet than usual, his clothes a little looser, distracted and lost in his thoughts; disconnected from the world as a whole. seems no one noticed...but you. word count: tba
"a bird in a cage, thought you were made for me....(don't hate you) but I can't save you"
gojo x gn!reader | angst synopsis: the talk. you both know what needs to happen but neither of you want to make the final decision. if it does happen you can't help but notice how blue the world seems without him. word count: tba
"my boy, come take my hand"
toji x gn!reader | fluff synopsis: toji hasn't always been perfect, it's his imperfection that's made him flawed since birth; you let him know it's okay for him to be imperfect for you. word count: tba
"instead I'm gonna love you like you were new"
suguru x gn!reader - fluff synopsis: suguru doesn't know what good deed he's committed in his previous life to deserve you but that's okay, because if there's one thing you know... it's that he would give the world to you anyways. word count: tba
"think twice 'cause you got a long way to go"
gojo x gn!reader | fluff synopsis: you meet a cocky man at the club, he thinks he has you wrapped around his finger but you remind him... he's got a long way to go before ending up with you. word count: tba
"what are you willing to do?"
suguru x fem!reader | fluff, suggestive synopsis: you're hurt and the only remedy is for suguru to kiss it better. (doctor's orders.) word count: tba
"all mine"
gojo x gn!reader | fluff synopsis: perhaps you need the reminder that in satoru's eyes, there's no one else but you. word count: tba
#angel's 3k event#angel writes#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#sukuna x reader#gojo satoru x reader#geto suguru x reader#suguru x reader#jjk suguru#jujutsu kaisen#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader
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Crushed 15

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, manipulation, cheating, sleazy behaviour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your next door neighbours hook up, bringing to surface deep-seated feelings.
Characters: Colin Shea, Jonathan Pine
Note: Please scream at me!
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)
Love you like my dog loves belly rubs (that’s a lot). Take care. 💖
After an early morning phone call, your mother insists on coming to town for lunch. You couldn't bear to tell her everything over the phone and frankly, you don't know how much you should tell her. You remember in high school when you were sent home after Kelly Harris dumped mud in your lap, your mother was more irritated to have you home than empathetic.
You watch through the peephole before you sneak out. You haven't slept but you can't be sure Colin hasn't returned. There's enough noise in the building that it's hard to discern who's coming or going.
When you do emerge, you flit quickly to the first floor and dip out, looking over your shoulder for either Colin or his vengeful girlfriend. You get through the lobby without trouble but you're not in the clear. Surely the day holds nothing but trouble, regardless of where it comes from.
You check the time as you wait for the cab. You refer to the text your mother sent before she set out and give the driver the name of the restaurant. You've never been there before and you're certain it's well out of your price range. Another debt for the tally.
This is the last thing you ever wanted. It makes all this drama seem all the more ridiculous. You’re a grown woman and this is what you’ve come to. Back to square one.
You approach the restaurant doors and enter with a sheepish grin. You don’t know that you own anything that wouldn’t be underdressed for this bougie brunch locale. Once more, you look at your phone. Crap, she’s there first. That means you're late even if you agreed on nine.
The hostess shows you to the table where your mother waits. She has her compact out as she touches up her mauve lipstick. She doesn’t acknowledge you or the hostess as you sit. She snaps shut the mirror and sips from her stemmed glass of orange juice.
“About time,” she drawls, “oh, and nice to hear from you after all these months.”
Her eyes finally deign to land on you. You gulp. You should’ve taken the chance of talking to your father but ultimately you know it’s not up to him.
“You’ve been so busy with Geri’s wedding–”
“Don’t try to guilt me for your neglect,” she warns, “you should be happy for your sister. Her fiance is a charming man. You’ve met Colton, haven’t you?”
“Once or twice,” you grumble. Family get togethers weren’t exactly your favourite memories. “I’ve been waiting on my invite–”
“Invite? You’re a bridesmaid. Geri sent out that email months ago. Is this why you weren’t at the fitting?”
“I didn’t… I didn’t get an email.”
“You’re wrong. Certainly, you must be. You and the rest of the girls are bridesmaids. You have to be. And it might be good for you to be involved in a wedding at least once,” she tuts. You don’t miss the jibe. Yeah, not like you have much hope of walking down the aisle.
“I’ll… I’ll call Geri and clear things up,” you say, “how are the others?”
“Well, Maeve is graduating this year. Always exciting. She’s thinking of joining Audrey at her alma mater. And Livia is somewhere in Spain again.”
“Ah, yeah, she sent me some pictures,” you say.
“And you? What are you up to?” She challenges. She’s not genuinely curious.
“Well,” you take a breath, pausing as a server comes to ask what you’d like to drink. You get the same as your mother and peruse the menu.
“Well…” your mother prompts.
“Yeah, um, I…” you shake your head, you can’t even look at her, “I am on leave from work so… not much.”
“Leave? What does that mean?” She hisses.
You feel your eyes tinge. You look at her. Why is she so different to you? Your other sisters can spill all their worries and whims but you, it’s always judgment. You can never do anything right.
“Uh, I thought maybe it might be a good time to–”
“Ah, pardon,” you’re interrupted before you can sputter out the revelation of another failure. You cringe as you recognise Jonathan’s silky lilt. Why? How? Do you even dare questioning fate anymore? “I just, I had to say hello.”
You force a smile and look at him, trying not to falter in front of your mother’s all-seeing gaze. She sits up, and lets out a hum of surprise as she sees Johnathan. Her lashes give a telling flick.
“Hello?” She utters quizzically.
“This must be one of your sisters,” he says as he runs his hand up the sleek lapel of his blue jacket, “very pleased to finally meet you.”
“Sister? Oh, do not flatter me. I am her mother, Eugenia,” she introduces herself with a smug smirk, “and how do you know each other?”
“Uh, oh,” you stutter and send Jonathan a desperate look. Do you tell her you’re his disgraced former employee? Or maybe just business acquaintance. She’s going to know eventually, that’s why you’re here. “Jonathan is–”
“Jonathan Pine,” he introduces himself, “honoured to finally meet you.” He looks at you, arching a brow before turning his attention back to his mother, “you both must be so excited for your elder daughter’s upcoming nuptials?”
“British?” She intones with intrigue.
“You’ve caught me out,” he grins, “your daughter’s been rather helpful in getting me acquainted with this country. Very lovely…” he peeks at you again, “hardly as lovely as her. You’ve raised a rather endearing daughter.”
“You…” she blinks in confusion, sending you another flabbergasted peek, “you and my daughter…” she lets the suggestion hang. Jonathan does too as he gives you an option; come clean or take the bait.
“I was waiting to introduce you at the wedding,” you blurt out, “I… it’s new.” You say, each word jarring as the lies piece themselves together on your tongue, “and I thought,” you look at Jonathan pointedly, “he was out of town.”
“Business trip was canceled, rescheduled to a business breakfast,” he slithers, “I’m meeting Gerry soon,” he checks his watch, “but I will be sure to tell the hostess to put your bill with mine.”
“Oh–” you squeak.
“Oh my,” your mother trills, “you are too kind. That is…” she gapes at you openly, “you… you’re with my daughter. Her?”
He chuckles lightly, “why wouldn’t I be with such a beautiful woman?”
“I didn’t mean– I don’t�� I’m very surprised,” she exclaims shrilly, “she never mentioned, but then again, she’s always been so private. So shy. And you seem like such a lovely man.”
“I like to think so, but please, she is not the lucky one,” he preens and steps towards you. He places his hand on your shoulder and bends, grazing his lips across your cheek, “go with it,” he whispers.
You turn your head just as his lips aim for yours. He kisses you and the air leaves the room. Your chest ties tight and your entire body tingles. Oh, wow. You’re too swept up in the sensation of his unexpected kiss that you can’t remember why you were so off-kilter a moment ago.
“Now let me not interrupt further. A mother-daughter reunion,” he puts his hand to his chest, “how sweet.”
He backs away and dips his chin. He turns on his heel and crosses the restaurant as you stare after him. The server approaches and sets your drink in front of you. You drink it in the silence of your mother’s disbelief.
“Well, you’ve done finely,” she says in a stunted cadence, “I… he’s so handsome. And tall. And blond!”
“Mom,” you plead as you nearly choke on the orange juice.
“Well. Even you must realise he’s very… dashing as they’d say in his home country,” she flutters her lashes dreamily, “oh, yes, you must bring him to the wedding. He’ll look wonderful in the photos.”
You wet your lips with your tongue and nod. You look down at the table, still buzzing as your lips warm up. You can’t stop thinking about that kiss. It nips away at the anger that kept you up all night, but hardly solves your anxiety.
You can’t tell your mother you expect to be evicted in the next month or that you lost your job. So what now? How do you untangle the knot that only grows bigger and bigger?
💗
For once, your time with your mom is less than torturous. She keeps her barbs dull enough to leave you only bruised. Her mood is a touch above neutral, which for you, is an accomplishment. You’re content but not entirely at ease. You have a lot to figure out.
You bid her goodbye just outside the patio seating and wave to her as she unlocks her luxury car. You watch until you see her get in and let out a sigh. Shit. Not only do you have Jonathan to worry about, but you don’t expect Colin to be AWOL much longer.
So what do you do? Go home and face the music or call Jonathan and try not to melt into a puddle of embarrassment. It was a nice favour of him to pretend but you don’t want to assume anything. High hopes and stupid girlish fantasies got you into all this.
As you walk along the curb, a short toot draws you to a stop. You turn as the whir of a car window steals your attention and you face the familiar car. Jonathan leans over the passenger seat to see you.
“You’re not going to run away again, are you?” He asks.
You twist your heel into the pavement and bend down. You furrow your brows as that big question needles between them. You can’t lie anymore, you can’t just wait for the truth to come out, you just have to ask.
“How did you know I was here?”
His brows lift and his eyes roll to the side. He gives a guilty grin, “I hope you don’t… misinterpret it but I… staked out your building.”
“What?” You puff out.
“Yes, I know, it sounds very bad. And I won’t claim it was entirely sane but I wanted to see the police take him away after I filed the report. To be sure you were safe and then… I sat stuck in my own head. Wanting to run up those stairs and knock on your door but also terrified you wouldn’t answer,” he shrugs, “and I followed you because I worried you might run into him, but that’s only half the reason…”
You swallow and step closer, “Jonathan, what are you doing?”
“Being crazy,” he lowers his eyes bashfully, “I know, you don’t need two madmen after you.”
You shake your head and reach for the handle. You open the door and get in. He sits back, watching you as you move your purse into your lap. You stare at the dashboard.
“What is going on?” You turn your head and look into his beautiful blue eyes, “what is this?”
“I don’t…” he begins.
“You’re my boss.”
“I was.”
“I never should’ve dragged you into this–”
“I’m so happy you did,” he murmurs.
“Jonathan, please,” you beg, “it’s not right–”
“You quit,” he insists, “so what isn’t right?”
You pout and sit back, turning straight and looking up at the upholstered ceiling of the car. You don’t know what to say. No, you don’t know how to say it. Except…
“I’m stupid.”
“What?” He scoffs.
“I’m stupid because… I’m scared and lost. And I can’t make you follow me through that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Feelings don’t just go, they just get complicated,” you explain, parsing through the stirring in your gut, “I hate Colin, I’m scared to hell of him, but I still… feel some of those things I felt.”
“Oh, but darling,” he reaches over and rests his hand above your shoulder, “I know feelings don’t just go. Mine certainly won’t.”
“Feelings? For me? Are you sure it’s not pity?”
“I only pity myself for how deeply I’ve fallen,” he breathes as you sense him leaning in, “the first day I saw you, I knew. I’ve never been much of a romantic but I have to confess something.”
“What?” You shy away, sensing how close he is.
“I knew how to use the coffee machine,” he admits, “I just needed an excuse.”
“You… did?” You look at him. He’s so much closer than you thought.
“Oh yes, if you hadn’t helped with the machine, I would’ve failed miserably in front of you at making copies. And if that didn’t work, well, I suppose I’d just have to make a mistake in my numbers,” he purrs, “you would’ve helped me, wouldn’t you?”
You quiver out a breath. You want to collapse into him, you want to let him make you forget everything but him, and yet, you’re so afraid. You’re afraid to believe that this could ever be real for you.
He doesn’t let your fear win. His lips are on yours again and that’s all you need. Nothing is left but that moment, the feeling of his mouth on yours, how his hand comes up to frame your jaw and cradle your cheek, his other creeping behind your head as he clings to you desperately. You can’t help by latching onto his collar, diving into his need.
You don’t stop until you're dizzy and breathless. He pulls back, hovering before you, thumb tracing your cheek bone as his other hand tickles your neck. His eyes search you, admire you, you’ve never been looked at like that.
“May I drive you home?” He asks softly, nuzzling your nose with his.
#colin shea#jonathan pine#dark colin shea#dark!colin shea#colin shea x reader#jonathan pine x reader#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#au#series#what's your number#crushed#the night manager
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We got your back - Chapter 4

Summary: You work as a new DEA agent alongside Peña and Murphy. A not-so-kind colleague reveals more about you than you would like. You also realize you can sleep better if you're not by yourself. You're not the only one with that realization.
Relationships: Javier Peña x F!Reader
WC: 10k+
Tags/Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, mention of canon-typical violence, family issues, they arent specified but reader is implied to be from a dysfunctional family, literal sleeping together, one bed trope if you squint, tac vest javi, nightmares, cuddling, protective javier peña, mention of drugs
AO3 LINK // Series Masterlist
notes: we are back! sorry this took me so long, i started into the year super positive and motivated but then my best friend decided to fucking die so life hasn't been very slay. i hope you babes are doing better and enjoy the chapter <3
(i cope with humor, can you tell?)
Chapter 4
“She could no longer think, nor were there any more images in her head. She was aware only of the softness of the woollen bathrobe next to her skin, and then of the nearness and warmth of a being that did not frighten her.”
- Paul Bowles, The Sheltering Sky
You have the first good day in weeks. Apart from the nagging feeling that you now have something else to hide - at least from Steve and the rest of your colleagues - you do feel well rested, getting through the assigned files and some more intel with record speed.
One of the higher-ups is celebrating a milestone birthday and orders dinner, causing more people than usual to stay late. Javi finds you in the crammed room where the plates of food have been set up and squeezes in next to you, flashing his signature charming smile, “May I?”
“Yeah, sure,” you mumble back, shifting slightly to give him more space. But with how full all the tables are, the people are a good excuse to let yourself get a little closer than you normally would. Somehow, it doesn’t feel weird, the way it likely would’ve before last night. It just feels safe.
You eat your dinner without speaking much, Javi practically wolfing his down. A frown spreads over your face at that, “You got plans after this?”
“Are you asking me out, querida?” Javi responds in between two bites, flirting so casually that it almost seems like second nature to him. Which according to the testimony of at least three women you know in the embassy, is exactly that.
He cocks his brow as he turns towards you and for a split second, he looks serious, like he means it. The thought has you blushing furiously and you think you just may choke on a piece of your pasta when the familiar grin spreads over his face and with it, a similarly familiar warmth settles in your stomach. “I was just joking,” he reassures you again at seeing your cheeks change color and clears his throat before getting a little more serious.
“Wanted to go through some more files, not like this lot will get anything done tonight.” He nods towards the group of people gathered around the man who is apparently celebrating. They’ve finally opened up the first bottle of Aguardiente.
Of course, Javi knows that with the steadily rising alcohol level, he may just be able to persuade someone into giving him access to precisely the file he wants. Or at least provide enough distraction for him to sneak off and find it himself.
He can still hear Steve in the back of his mind, reasoning with him.
“Have you ever considered that the files are sealed because she wants them to be?”
He has, now. But he finds that he doesn’t really care. There is something there, something that might explain you to him a little more. A tiny voice in his head offers up the idea of just asking you, getting to know you like everyone else does.
But he quickly shakes that thought off. It’s nothing to him, personally at least. His interest is strictly professional of course. Nothing else.
Just as the first people start clearing out, Javi slips away too. You strain your neck, glancing around the room and towards the buffet but he’s nowhere to be found.
“Great,” you mumble to yourself as you follow suit and leave the table, heading out of the large oak doors of the conference room. A pit has formed in your stomach and it only deepens when you catch a glimpse of the time. It’s past nine already so chances are Javier really has headed off to meet some informant. You try not to consider who else he could be meeting and who else may wake up next to him in the morning.
Passing through the dimly lit corridors that lead to the DEA offices, you let out a small noise of annoyance with yourself.
It’s not like it’s any of your business what Javi does after closing time or who he meets. And it’s not really like you to judge him for it.
But today, you realize quietly, your disappointment stems from the pit in your stomach at the thought of having to go home to the apartment you’d rather forget and to spend a few hours tossing and turning on a mattress until it’s time to come back.
You haven’t met a single person on your way back to your office and you consider curling up next to your desk again. A glance around the office tells you that you’re not in luck, though. A few other co-workers still have their bags and jackets draped over chairs and desks and some will no doubt return to get them once they’re done eating. Javi finding you was one thing but they would be something else.
It takes a few seconds until the solution hits you and you take off past the open plan office and towards the smaller adjacent rooms in the back. The crammed file room that you’ve spent the last night in is sitting in darkness, the blinds almost completely closed. You decide against turning on the big light and simply make your way through the room- which is barely a few steps.
The orange glow of the streetlights filtering through the blinds is enough to let your hands find the couch in the corner and you settle onto it with a small sigh, content to just be still for a moment. It’s a little eerie, especially since you’re not sure if anyone other than Peña and Murphy frequents the space. But the sounds that do drift to you are low and distant, nothing more than a couple of cars honking a few blocks away and a dog barking somewhere in the distance.
You draw your legs up onto the couch, wrapping your arms around them for the lack of actual bedding and lean back, closing your eyes.
It doesn’t become apparent to you that you’ve passed out until you wake with a start. You’re semi-aware of something above you and you squint into the darkness of the room. You can’t see his face but there is the voice you know all too well.
“That you, cariño?” Javi mutters, already a blanket in hand that he nudges against you. It takes you a few more seconds to find your voice, bringing a hand up to rub your eyes, “Thought you left.”
“I came back. Here, go back to sleep. I’ll stay.”
You’re too tired to fight him, to put up any kind of resistance against making this a habit, to bring up that this is a bad idea, for the sake of both of you. The blanket warms you up so quickly, even more so with the way Javier’s body slowly comes to rest beside you. You think you answer something before you pass out again. You can’t remember what you say.
It’s not until the next morning, when you yawn as you head into the office kitchen, that you find out precisely why Javier snuck off last night.
There is cereal. And not the shitty kind- actual Cap’n Crunch, your favorite. The man beside you, who has a reputation for being a playboy and for never staying for breakfast, remembered the way you preferred your breakfast. It’s hard not to let it get to your head.
It does become routine after that. Javi lingers around the office until he can tell if you’ll leave or stay. Most nights you stay. Most turn into all. On the second night in a row, he lights himself a cigarette as he flips through a few more files before going to sleep. On the third, it goes from a bad to a really bad night when the nightmares you never seem to be able to get rid of come for you. For a second, you think this will be one step too far for him. But he barely seems to mind the way you cuddle a bit closer to him and he mumbles soft words until you go back to sleep.
He never mentions it during the day and neither do you. It’s almost like your sleeping arrangements are part of a different world, not the one that spins around your work, that’s full of drugs and death and everything else that makes sleep difficult. But Javi just feels- safe. He never asks too many questions. He just gets the blanket, sets his alarm, makes sure there is cereal in the morning. He feels like a godsent.
Of course, it’s only a question of time until someone notices something. You’re always careful to not head into your little room until everyone else is gone but occasionally, someone will show up too early or during the night- a spontaneous raid, a tip that needs instant investigating. Javi keeps the phone by his side constantly and it takes over a week for you to realize it may not just be to get alerts on developing situations but also to be alerted to someone coming into the office during unusual hours.
So when two weeks have passed and someone does catch you, Javi is glad it's Steve who is clearly just grabbing some files early in the morning and freezes in the doorway. He stares Javi down, who in return gently puts a finger onto his lips and motions for them to head to the hallway, gently closing the door behind himself as he steps out of the office.
“I have no way to be certain about Messina’s stance on this, but something tells me she wouldn't appreciate you bringing your hookers into the embassy,” Steve hums, unable to keep a small smirk off his face. Javi rolls his eyes in return, “I'm not an idiot, do you know that?”
He pauses for a moment and raises his hand just as Steve opens his mouth, “Don't answer that.” His mind is racing with too many thoughts at once. He’s not sure why, of all the things he could choose to tell Steve, he picks the truth when the lies would be so much easier.
“She was assigned a shitty apartment, hasn't been sleeping well. I remember you and Connie having similar issues after you arrived down here. With her, I figured we didn't use the room anyway and she-” he trails off. Steve brows have knitted together as the pieces slowly fall into place, “Somehow, a hooker would have been less complicated than a colleague.” There's another roll of eyes from Javi, the air a little thick with tension.
“I'm trying to help her. That's all.”
“You are trying to help her? Do you really expect me to believe that?” Steve shoots back, raising his voice until Javi motions for him to quiet down, nodding towards the door. The blonde man makes a face, but he does lower his voice as he repeats himself, “You expect me to believe that? You’re just helping her, no motive? It has nothing to do with you feeling the need to fuck your way through half the office by the time we finish the case?”
Javier actually groans at that, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment. He moves his fingers to the side, using them to gently rub his tired eyes. His free arm is resting against his belt, the fingers twitching ever so slightly.
“Fuck you, Murphy. Just leave us alone and get your files in the morning.”
Steve looks like he wants to say something else, but then he thinks better of it. A small glare is sent towards his partner regardless.
“If you fuck this up somehow, Javi, I swear, I will make sure you get in real trouble. She’s too sweet for whatever you are trying to do here.”
It's two nights after the encounter with Steve- who has much to Javier's relief actually left them alone- when it happens again. It's been a particularly exhausting day for both of you, which actually made Javi hopeful that you'd both fall into a deep sleep as soon as you hit the couch. But it's been as mentally draining as it's been physically. And your mind clearly just won’t shut off.
It wakes him. The small stirring, the movement of your body beside his. He’s never been a particularly deep sleeper and Colombia has only made it worse, his brain seemingly always on alert to danger. So when he does wake, it takes Javi a few seconds to realize that the danger his brain is alerting him to is not a sicario sneaking into your room, it’s not a gun held to his head. It’s an entirely different kind of danger, one much less life-threatening but so much more complicated to fix.
A small groan escapes him as he reaches for the small light perched on the file cabinets, pulling the string attached to it. He blinks groggily as it flickers to life, bathing the room into a dim, dusty light. A few moments pass before he hears another whimper behind him and turns towards you, eyes already laced with concern.
Your features are scrunched up, lips slightly apart as the noises find their way out of your dream and into reality. Occasionally, a muscle twitches in your hands or your leg, making the whole scene even more eerie. But what gets Javier the most, what makes the pit in his stomach feel like one that could reach the ground floor, is the wetness on your face. Tears, undoubtedly slipping from your closed eyes and finding their way down the side of your face. It looks absolutely heartbreaking.
“Cariño,” he mutters under his breath, bringing his hand towards your arm and beginning to rub it in a gentle, circular motion.
“Wake up, it’s just a dream. You’re-” For a split second, he wants to say home. But he knows it's so far from the truth. He's not sure you consider any place in this country a home. Actually, he's not sure which place you do consider one.
“You’re alright,” he mumbles instead, adding a little more force to his touch and voice alike. His gaze never leaves your face as your eyes finally fly open, practically choking on the whimper that had just been leaving your throat. The panic is evident in your eyes, in the way they fly around, searching for something, anything to reassure you, to replace the pictures still floating in your mind. They find soft, brown eyes. It’s something to hold onto.
“There you are,” Javi hums, bringing his free hand to your face, his thumb catching the next tear that rolls out of the corner of your eye. “It's okay, you're safe. Just a bad dream.”
You blame it on the panic still sitting in your throat or the way you've just woken up, the way you don't even think about your movements as you move yourself into Javis arms, sneaking your arms around his waist and you think you feel him hesitate for just a moment before he wraps his arms around you in return, whispering reassurances into the dimly lit room and stroking your back.
You cry a little more, when the memories of the dream feel too overwhelming and he holds you through all of it, not once complaining about how long you’re taking to shake the thoughts off.
It’s a good half hour before you’re both lying down again, his back resting against the edge of the sofa, right arm wrapped lazily around you, “You want me to keep the light on for now?”
The idea seems a little silly to you but it takes you right back to evenings in your childhood bedroom, to what felt like endless nights of asking your father to plug in the small night light you'd gotten for christmas. It looked like a sheep, carrying a smile and enough light for you to be able to tell that there were no monsters hiding in the dark corners of your room.
“Querida?” You nod your head quickly, resting it back on his chest, “Yeah, I- let’s keep it on. If that’s okay.”
“Por supuesto que está bien,” (Of course that is okay,) Javier mumbles softly, his left hand reaching below your makeshift bed and producing a pack of Marlboros. You watch the movements of his hands, the ones you see him do at least ten times a day, his fingers reaching for a cigarette, placing it between his slightly parted lips. Pausing to search two pockets for his lighter before finding it.
At a small nudge from you, he pauses, raising a brow, “¿Sí?” You nod towards the pack that’s still resting next to him, “It’s really rude not to offer me one.”
“I thought you didn’t smoke,” he says, seeming genuinely confused for a moment and you almost take pity. You sneak your hand over his torso, drawing a cigarette from the half-empty pack, “I do now.”
To his defense, he does try and look stern for a moment. But he knows it'd be hypocritical at best if he of all people tried to stop you.
“It's a bad habit.”
“Well, then it's our bad habit.”
Javi thinks, for a split moment, that something entirely else is his bad habit. The way he looks at you when you fall asleep before him or the touches that seem to become more and more frequent the longer your sleeping arrangement continues. The way he jerks off in his shower at home, picturing your face, your body draped in his shirt a few nights ago when your blouse was simply too uncomfortable to sleep in. Spilling into his own hand with a groan at those thoughts. Yeah, that's definitely his bad habit.
“Are you going to light it for me or are you hoping it’ll disintegrate if you think hard enough?” You joke gently, snapping him out of his thoughts.
“Teasing again already, are we?” Javi hums but he does reach for his lighter and brings it to your face, careful not to get too close.
He waits until you’ve both taken a few drags to ask his question.
“So what was it about?”
You swallow a bit at that, taking another long drag before you shake your head, “Nothing special. It’s already disappearing.” After another moment of thinking, you add, truthfully, “There was something with drugs in it.”
“Not very creative, I’d say. Five out of ten.”
You stare at him in disbelief, “Are you rating my nightmares, Peña?”
“I like to keep track,” he responds, giving you a small wink that you almost miss. You watch the smoke rising from the cigarette between his lips, sighing softly. You don’t like lying to him. Then again, it really was about drugs. Just not in the way he may think. It’s not your fault he’s stupid, sometimes.
“You’re silly. Go to sleep.”
“Go to sleep yourself.”
You do end up falling back asleep first, head still resting on his chest. Javi stays awake a little while longer, just in case the nightmares come back. At least that’s what he tells himself. And if he happens to use that opportunity to study your face a bit more? Well, it’s noones business.
end notes: if you enjoyed this, please reblog and/or leave a comment <3 also subscribe on ao3 or follow me here to catch the next update!
#javier peña#javi peña#javier peña x you#javier peña x reader#javier peña / you#javier peña / reader#javier pena x reader#javier pena x you#pedro pascal#fanfic#fanfiction#hurt/comfort#smut#narcos#narcos fanfic#softpascalito#we got your back#pedro pascal fanfiction#nightmares#family issues#slowburn#colleagues
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My dear Critters and Callowmoores, Divergence has had its beautiful ending and thus, only the Wrap Up Party remains. The Wrap Up will officially close the book on Campaign 3 as a whole and frankly, I'm still not ready for it. If I'm honest, a lot of that unreadiness is from being nervous, because it's the last chance until the next one shot of Bell's Hells - whenever that'll be - for there to be catharsis for my beloved ship, Callowmoore.
Now, I'm not foolish enough to expect that a question or a discussion about it is guaranteed to show up - even if I do pluck up the courage to submit a question myself - and I'm not parasocially demanding that it's owed to us to be brought up either. I'm just hoping it will, but in this case 'hope' is less in the context of being confident and more in the context of being wishful - especially since even if a question is asked the answer can still risk being unsatisfying.
In the month since the finale my feelings about the ship's vague outcome hasn't really gotten better, I think LaterKaterSays said it best in their post about how we didn't get that 'shiny golden ending' - that feeling of vindication that proves that our support was not for naught, that it's real and intended and will serve as a comfort to get through the days after C3's end - but it was a little more than just that which left me a little forlorn. The finale already had us go through a lot; we had to endure Ashton dying - after it felt like everyone was finally safe - with a visibly distraught Fearne being their last embrace before their sacrifice, and then when they fell from the sky we watched Matt decide that a Nat 20 and a +1 Gust assist from Orym isn't enough for Shoebill!Fearne to catch Ashton like she wanted (but enough for Chetney at the same speed to push through a crowd and get underneath them for the Banish) and her desperate demand that the Kryn give her a beacon - all while holding Ashton's lifeless body in her arms - is brushed off without even a potential roll to try and sway the Bright Queen. Then, after Ashton comes back to life, after both of them become visibly altered in the aftermath of the god matter, and after all the other Hells and side characters get their time for their own stuff, we finally get back around to them and their last interaction's resolution is left up in the air. Every other ship gets to run, fly, and gallop off into the sunset - and I am truly happy for them, don't mistake this as me saying that they don't deserve it - and we're just left waiting, wanting, and wishing we could join them.
And then the next week is Valentine's Day.
One of the main times of the year in every fandom for a ship tag to flourish with art, writing, and overall positive content, and ours just, doesn't, not to the same extent. It feels like we're all holding our breath, holding our headcanons and creative ideas close out of fear that we'll curse or jinx it by letting it out. And I know Tal and Ashley - who I still admire greatly - didn't intend for this to be the reaction, but I think a lot of us riding into the finale were feeling hopeful, in the confident context, that things would work out and our patience would be rewarded, but then over 9 hours later, it wasn't; instead we're left reeling by a series of gut punches, nearly moments, and vagueness at the end of the tunnel.
I know that not everyone sees it this way, and there are those who are simply content or are able to lean on their other, more beloved ships for comfort - which, again, is not in any shape or form a problem or a slight if you do - but for me personally, I don't have that. This IS my number one CR ship, this is my comfort ship, and I know I made a post after the finale saying that we shouldn't sink into despair - and I do still mean every word - but as a result, this last month has been kinda rough on me emotionally. For someone who has used tumblr to do reviews and critiques, when it comes to my personal feelings I really do hate complaining - people are facing far worse problems and have far more legitimate reasons to be upset than I do after all - but I can't deny that since the finale I've felt less motivated for pretty much anything, everything just feels a little less than it used to - like a fire in me has been dimmed - and I keep looping back in my mind fearing that I missed something to explain why we didn't get the moment we wanted and could just live in forever, and I don't find it; every time I think back to their moments together I can't see anything less than the fact that these two characters love each other, that they understand each other on a level no-one else does, and, as they've already admitted to each other, they have the best time of their lives when they're together.
I know we each have our perspectives on where things go from here, and what suits them best, and yes, infinite possibilities does have its merits in this regard, but those possibilities also include bad ones that I could do without intrusively crossing my mind; I don't like fearing that Fearne will put off thinking about it, or that she won't be honest about her feelings and decides to settle for less, I also don't like feeling like this is the nervous energy we'll have to carry with us until whenever we see them next. Granted, if we do end up having to wait until the currently-unconfirmed reunion one shot with this uncertainty I Will Wait, you best believe that I will wait, but obviously I don't want to - nobody likes being persistently anxious after all, especially in places of comfort, and we've already waited a long time as it is.
If a question does get asked about it or the matter is brought up by the cast, I think all that those like me really need is assurance. Confirmation that Yes, Fearne thought about it and she didn't change her mind - that would honestly be enough. It still means the possibilities are endless, but they'll all be good possibilities that feed and encourage us to create and gush and flourish without the shadow of doubt. I have absolutely no right to ask, because in the end it's not about me, but I don't think that's asking for much; it's, after all, nothing as elaborate as retconning a hag pact that promised eternal service, or something as fantastical as bringing mortality back to an undead PC, much less doing it twice. But for those wondering what I am wishful for, that is it: that's all that I wish to get from the wrap up and that's all that I'm hoping for, and on Friday morning when I get to check it out before -and likely during - the start of my shift, I hope with all my heart that this wish will have come true.
#critical role#c3 wrap up#campaign 3#callowmoore#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#ashley johnson#taliesin jaffe#fearne x ashton#ashton x fearne#if you're reading this just know I stared off with this post in my drafts for days - I'm still not sure if it was the right call to post it#idk I wanted to say it because it's honest but I also didn't want to make people feel sad and kill the mood so it's often been 50/50#Divergence was still very lovely and earnest and beautiful but I'd be lying if this wasn't always on my mind#there's life stuff and past ship experiences I don't need to go into that also prods at me but the post is already longer than intended#I see elements of their love and dynamic everywhere guys; irl and in other shows and stories#I don't wanna track back to 'Ashton should've just said yes' because I still understand why - it's just lacking the follow-up#and the doubt eats at me without it; I know they love each other and there's proof but it's always met with 'so why didn't it happen?'#I know people compare it to other ships but they aren't the same; they have their own dynamic - they're not bound by the same template#the titan frolic; the makeout; cuddled up together on Gloamglut - those are just some Callowmoore moments I'd have happily lived in forever#and I want them to be happy memories of a ship I love; not bittersweet ones#I promise I have CR posts lined up that are less like this#but I'd also love to do more; better crafted; Callowmoore content like fics and headcanon posts without fearing that I'll curse or jinx it#after all sneaking headcanons in the rambling tags wasn't the plan - it was just them leaking out and wanting to engage
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Brokenhearted (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon Modern AU) (18+)
Read Chapter 3 here // Series Masterlist
Chapter 4
Summary: As you reveal your desire to want more than just sex in this situationship, Daemon runs again but this time he comes back with an epiphany.
Warning: 18+, Daemon is mean and toxic, pure disrespectful at times, Reader has a personality, flashbacks of abusive relationship, sexual abuse, Daemon is a big time smoker so if it’s something triggering don’t read it, he’s not the best boyfriend, alcohol drinking, mention of past trauma and therapy, cigarette smoking, possessive behaviour, some violence, baby needs therapy,
Next morning when he woke up he was startled a bit to see the blanket covering his body, he sighed as he realized that you must have put this on him in the middle of the night. You continued to care for him despite his offensive behavior towards you and he wanted to stop being such a jerk but his experiences weren't allowing him to move on.
One had to learn to heal in order to move on and he hasn't healed at all in the past seven years, a part of him wanted to leave it all behind but he failed, he couldn't forget the betrayal, the way he allowed himself to be used and abused in the name of love always reminded him how pathetic he truly was.
He got up to see if you were still in his condo but the silence around him was enough to indicate that you must have left for work.
He got ready and decided to check up on you, he shouldn't have snapped at you like that, again, maybe he should just tell you that he didn't like talking about his past and he was hoping you'd leave it at that. Somewhere in his heart he knew he adored your presence in his life and he knew he didn't want to let go of you, he didn't want to be the one to leave this time, if you do, that would be alright with him, he won't chase you either, he'd deserve it like he deserved to be left by those women he used as a crutch for his mental instability.
As he reached the restaurant, Claire saw him and rolled her eyes.
"Can you call her? I need to talk" he said to her so she turned around and left for the kitchen area, a few moments later you came out of the door and walked towards him,
"Are you alright?" You asked him softly as you reached closer, you felt worried about him, that nightmare that he had must have been about something he had suffered in his life. Only a truly traumatizing event could have caused a man like him to shrivel up like that.
"Yeah why?" He looked at you, slightly confused by the question, maybe he didn't remember the nightmare.
"No .. nothing…ummm you want to eat something?" You asked him but he didn't say anything, he was staring deep into your eyes and then much to your shock or delight would be the better term, he placed his hands around your arms and pulled you closer to hug you.
You were so taken aback that you didn't even know what to do in that moment. He placed his head down on your shoulder and was holding onto you as tightly as he could, he had never hugged you this way before so you had no idea how to react but you eventually decided to wrap your arms around his neck.
"I don't want to talk about my past life. When I'm with you I just want to be with you alright?" He mumbled as he pulled away and cupped your cheeks, he placed his forehead down on yours and it made you think of that soft vulnerable man you had gotten a glimpse of a night before.
"Okay, we don't have to talk about that if you don't want to..I was just curious but to be honest I want to get to know you better Daemon, this casual thing isn't working out for me anymore, i know you asked me to not involve emotions but I can't turn it off especially when I'm around you..it's hard for me to do that, you can get out of this situation and leave if you want to..but I can't keep it casual anymore" he lifted his head up as you said all that in one breath. He feared sooner or later you'd say something like that to him.
"I can't give you what you want" he mumbled softly, he looked around and people were staring so he grabbed your hand and took you to the bathroom, not the best place to have this conversation but he had to talk to you about this.
"What do you think I'm looking for?" You asked him so he sighed, he stepped away from you and ran his fingers through his hair in nervousness as he leaned against the sink, crossed his arms and then that typical condescending smile graced his features.
"Well for starters, you would want a lovey dovey boyfriend who'll dote on you all the time. Write bloody Shakespearean poems for you and kiss you as if he's starving for a taste, then you'd want him to snuggle you and tell you how much he loves you everyday and night" he said as a matter of fact as if he knew what you wanted. He knew nothing.
"Okayyyy ummm ..first of all I'm not a teenager, I'm a grown woman .. and i don't need a grown man to coddle me all the time..it's frankly unrealistic and kind of disturbing" he looked down as you said that so you walked towards him. Was it unrealistic or you were just trying to appease him? He used to be that man. When he fell in love with her he went all in, sure he was younger and unwise back then but he wasn't always this cold stone condescending man that you were dealing with right now
"Intimacy bothers you, both emotional and physical, you don't think of sex as intimate and I'm not going to ask you why you feel that way. I don't need to know if you don't want to share just yet or ever, but I care about you Daemon and I'm tired of pretending that I don't, and I know you care about me.. I can feel it when you're around me, am i delusional?" Your eyes teared up so he sighed and looked down again.
"I care about your safety and well being, I won't lie and tell you that I don't feel protective of you. I really do and I enjoy fucking you and I'll be honest I don't want to stop either but that doesn't mean I'm in love with you or ever will be" he said to you so you nodded, this was more than what he had said in the last few months.
"You know only those who have been deeply burned by love say stuff like that?" He snickered as you said that,
"Are you a shrink now? Changing professions now huh?" He chuckled as he spoke, his voice was dripping with undiluted sarcasm.
"Look Daemon, If we are going to see each other and continue thisss then I need you to accept that I care about you and that when we are together I would want to take care of you..I'll never beg for your attention or your emotions but I want to be the one to give them to you" he looked at you, bewildered by your response, he didn't understand why you even cared about him when he has been nothing but awful to you. Was all of this just because he happened to save your virtue once? Did you feel like you owed him something?
"And why would you be so selfless if I may ask? Why would you want to waste your affections on a man who won't make you feel the same?"
"You make me feel good Daemon, just in different ways, I don't feel trapped when I'm with you or feel liable for you in any which ways, you don't expect much from me unlike those other guys that I have been with before and I enjoy that. I enjoy your company, is it hard for you to believe that?"
He gave you his typical look before he looked down again, he didn't really have an answer. She had destroyed his self esteem to the point where he didn't feel he was worthy of any form of care or affection, especially not from you. You looked at the time and you knew this wasn't the right time or place to discuss this "I'll have to go now before they assume I'm having sex or something in here and fire me" he chuckled as you said that but a somber look appeared soon after.
"Darling I'm not sure I'm what you need" He told you so you smiled and nodded. You walked closer to him and his body went stiff for a moment but he relaxed as you cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead, the touch did evoke some memories but your scent calmed him down. You were not her, he knew that but he didn't want to accept just yet that when you showed him affection it made him feel good about himself, even if just for a moment it really made him feel like the man that he used to be.
"Think about what I said and if you decide to take this thing forward, you can come to my place tonight. I'll make something you like for dinner and then we can discuss your boundaries and what bothers you" you smiled as you said that and then you turned around to leave, once you were gone he let out a irritable groan and turned around to look at himself in the mirror.
He had tried so hard to not stray away from the boundaries he had made for himself and the rules he had made for women in his life that came after her but with you he was crossing every single boundaries and he was willing to allow you to break a rule or two with him.
But he couldn't stop feeling so pathetic no matter how hard he tried, her voice kept ringing in his head, he was good for nothing and always will be, he'll never give you what you deserve.
As he reached the center, Casey Anderson stormed towards him and asked him why he had punched his brother for speaking the truth, he wanted to dissolve his contract with Daemon and change the trainer because he was utterly furious at humiliation his brother had suffered. The Targaryens made the best coaches and Casey knew that he needed them so instead of abolishing the contract with the center itself he wanted to hire Viserys instead.
"What is this all about?" Viserys took him aside to question him and Daemon just rolled his eyes, he didn't care about anything, if he didn't need money he'd quit it all together. There was a time when he wanted to become the world famous fighter and make his own name. Being in the ring and defeating his opponent was a rush he'd never forget but he couldn't even get in the ring now without thinking of the last time he was in there and what had transpired that night.
"Why don't you ask his cunt of a brother?" Daemon glared at Viserys but he wasn't having any of it today,
"Look Daemon I don't care what you do in your personal life but I won't allow this nasty attitude of yours to interfere with our business you hear me?" Viserys grabbed him by the collar of his shirt as he spoke to him loud and clear. If it was any other guy Daemon would have hit him left right and center by now but he owed his brother for helping him get back on his feet again. Literally and otherwise.
Daemon didn't care that he lost a client, he should have cared but he didn't. In the last few years under his training several fighters had made it to the international leagues so this wasn't really his loss. If he could go back in time, he'd punch him all over again for disrespecting you like that. After the stupid altercation he decided to take a day off and went straight home.
He couldn't stop thinking about your offer, was he ready to take a leap and build this relationship with you? What would happen if you try to cuddle him in bed or want more in future? Like marriage and babies and all that stuff? He would never want that. He groaned and pulled out a cigarette as he continued to worry about the situation he was in.
He wanted to give this a chance but he wasn't ready, he didn't think he'd ever be ready for an actual relationship again.
He called you in the evening and for once he felt nervous, he didn't want to hurt you again but he knew he won't be able to keep you happy either. You deserved better.
"Hiii" he heard your voice and for a few seconds he lost his own, he hadn't even realized how drastically you were starting to change his feelings for you.
"I'm not coming" he told you in a strict firm tone but his heart clenched as you went quiet on the other side. You needed a few seconds to compose yourself.
"Okay, so this is it then i guess?" You asked him and he wanted to tell you that he wanted to keep seeing you without getting all the emotions and complications involved in the mess but that would have been selfish and even though he was a selfish man to his core, he didn't want to hurt you anymore.
"Yeah..I told you to not get your emotions involved –"
"It's not your fault..no hard feelings really" his eyes teared up as you said that. You were finally giving up on this toxic situationship and that's what he wanted from you then why did it hurt? It never hurt like this when those other women left him, he looked back at the past few months and you both hardly spent any quality time outside of those dates that eventually led to fucking each other's brains out. Then when and how he developed these pesky little feelings for you?
"Alright, take care of yourself then. And i meant what I said last night, if you ever feel threatened by anyone you can always come to me" he said softly, this was the softest you had ever heard his voice go.
"Okay I'll remember that..thank you. Whatever it is..i hope someday you'll find the strength to move on Daemon, I don't know what has happened with you or what you suffered but you're so much more than that, your suffering doesn't define you or the type of man that you are. If you ever need me I'll be here too..I promise" you hung up as soon as you had finished your words, you didn't want him to get upset but you felt as if you had to tell him that.
You really wanted to be the one he'd open up to but maybe he wasn't ready to let go of his past and whatever was hurting him. You were mature enough to understand that healing could never be forced on anyone. He had to take the first step and he wasn't ready.
Ever since you met him you always had a feeling that someday you'd end up right where you were right now and get your heart broken again but you still took the risk. Now you wondered why because this hurt more than you could have anticipated.
Daemon wanted to cut you off completely, find some other distraction and not think of you ever again but it wasn't easy, he was addicted to you and how you felt around him. When a few weeks passed he had realized that he had made a grave mistake, it's not that he was sulking at home all day and was a mess because you weren't in his life anymore. Infact nothing like that happened, he went out, enjoyed his nights and even slept around with women who caught his eyes but everytime he had another woman in his bed he saw your face, even if for a brief moment he saw you underneath him, he missed the way your lips tasted and the way you'd always try to hold him when he was fucking you.
He missed waking up with your body on top of him and he missed pretending that he absolutely despised it.
He missed taking you out on dinner dates and watching you squirm in your seat as he'd gift you lavish things, he didn't enjoy putting you through such situations but he wanted to spoil you rotten in the only ways he knew how. Money and sex was the only thing he was capable of offering you so he did his best with what he had.
It's been a few weeks since he had seen you last and it was starting to eat him alive, even though he knew he could walk to your workplace anytime he wanted he never really dared. If you had moved on from him, he wanted to give you space but he always questioned himself if you had indeed moved on or there was a part of you that'd take him back if he was to show up at your door?
....
Like every breakup, this one hurt as well, if you could call it a breakup, your situation was only about to get worse with him every day because you were falling for him more and more while he stayed distant and he didn't feel anything for you or so you convinced yourself.
He had done you a favor by allowing you to get yourself out and you were grateful for that but you couldn't deny that you missed him. When you two weren't fucking like bunnies, he was someone you could go to for advice and he offered one without any sort of judgement whatsoever. In retrospect, your relationship with him might have seemed superficial and carnal but it wasn't, you felt cared for by him even though he had tried his best to not come across that way.
You also knew that he had moved on, Claire told you that she had seen him kissing a woman and then taking her home at the club he often frequented. It hurt alot to hear that but you always knew what this thing was between you two and you weren't expecting him to go celibate after the things fell apart between you two. He had fucked you stupid on the first date as well.
You just felt jealous that you weren't the woman he was sleeping with any longer.
With all those thoughts heavy in your head when you went home that night you weren't really expecting to see Daemon Targaryen. And you especially weren't expecting to see him sitting in front of your apartment door. His hair was all messy, he had his typical casanova attire on, that whorish chain hung loosely on his neck and for some reason you couldn't stop thinking about those women he had fucked in the past few weeks and if they tried to pull him closer in bed by using the chain the way you used to.
"What are you doing here?" You asked him as he stood up and stepped away so you could open the door,
"Just came to see you, you said i could if I wanted to" you looked at him as he said that, there was a fresh bruise on his cheek.
"Fought with someone?"
"Noo ..for once it's a workplace hazard" you smiled as he said that and the corner of his mouth curved as well.
"Want to come in for a cup of coffee?" You asked softly, you didn't know why he was there but it felt good seeing him.
"Sure" as you both entered you turned the lights on and put your bag down on the couch, he wanted to grab your arm and pull you into his chest, he wanted to kiss you but he controlled his desires, he didn't know if you were still willing to take his damaged self back into your life. But If you were willing to suffer with him he knew he'd have to make a few changes and sacrifices if he wanted to keep you in his life. He followed you into the kitchen and leaned against the refrigerator,
"I'm sorry I don't have the coffee machine ..in case if you haven't noticed.. would you mind if I serve you an instant one?" He smiled as he looked around, he knew what he was going to buy tomorrow.
"Don't mind one bit" he answered so you put the kettle on boil,
"Sooo how have you been?" You asked him sheepishly
"Same as I used to be, how are you darling?"
"Sameee" you smiled. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. "Ummm Claire told me that she saw you at the club one night"
"Huhhh? Did she tell you that she tried to hit on me?" You looked at him wide eyed and mouth opened as he said that,
"She did what?" Your pitch got higher as you questioned him.
"I didn't reciprocate" you shrugged and focused your eyes on the kettle.
"Well you could have..it's..it's not that..i mean..we were not--" before you could stutter more he interrupted you.
"I won't fuck a lady you work with darling" you looked at him as he said that, he was always sincere and honest with you about these things. He respected you and gave you his loyalty when he absolutely didn't have to, you weren't surprised that he chose to not sleep with Claire but it still felt good.
"But you fucked other women?"
"Mmmhmmm..I'm just a warm blooded man..we are the worst breed of all" you chuckled as he said that.
He suddenly closed the distance between you two and turned you towards him.
"I have missed you" you tilted your head up since you didn't have your heels on and looked into his eyes as he said that.
"You have?" You gulped, your voice was trembling with anticipation.
Did he want to give this a try?
"I should have come that day but I was terrified. You were right, I have several issues but ..when I was with you.. for a little while I was able to look past my past and just be with you" your eyes welled up as he said that, you had never seen him be this way with you so it was a little overwhelming but not in a bad way.
"I thought I was showing you mercy, didn't want a lady like you to get caught up in my mess so I spared you..but i haven't stopped thinking about you..you're all i have thought of these past few weeks" he mumbled softly and you sniffled, your voice choked on your own tears as you spoke to him.
"You shouldn't make my decisions for me"
"I know..it wasn't just about you, I'm scared ..of this thing between us" he wasn't looking at you anymore and his gaze was fixated on the floor so you grabbed the hem of his jacket and pulled him closer.
"You can take your time with me Daemon, build trust slowly and we will see where it goes, small steps okay?" You mumbled softly so he nodded and hugged you the same way he had done that morning, he was so tall so he had to bend down just to put his head on your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your face snuggled between his neck, he always smelled like cigarette and bergamot.
You had no idea where this would go from here, he was traumatized from his past but you didn't want to get scared by that knowledge, you wanted to be there for him and help him cope.
"Tell me what you want from me, tell me something so I'm careful around you, I don't want to hurt you" his arm wrapped around your waist and he placed his forehead on yours, his eyes were closed and he was thinking about what and how he wanted to move forward with you.
He just wanted momentarily peace, for the voices in his head to stop screaming but he knew he had to talk about this with you and he had to do it now.
"I'm not sure what I want..but I know what I don't want from you, and I'll tell you all about them but I need you to know that I'm not going to be the best man that can be out there for you..Do you still want this? Us? Want me when you deserve so much more? So much better?" his fingers curled into your hair and he pulled your head behind to make you look at him.
A relationship or whatever he wanted to name this thing between you two won't be easy, you knew that but you had to take a chance for once in your life. You have always played safe and being with him was not any less dangerous than playing with the fire itself but for once in your life you weren't afraid to get burned.
"I want you..I want us"
And whenever that would happen you only hoped that he'd be there to lick your wounds and kiss it better
❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
Note : it's not the end, there are a few more chapters
Taglist (please check your setting if I’m not able to tag you)
@simbaaas-stuff @ajthefujoshi
#daemon targaryen x female reader#daemon targaryen#daemon x reader#daemon targeryen x reader#daemon targaryen x reader fluff#daemon targaryen x reader angst#non canon#modern au
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Canon Divergence Steddie Fics
Important: READ THE TAGS! Also, leave a comment and kudos! These fics are amazing and I love them and I hope y'all do too 🧭
save it for a rainy day
Unoriginal_Username
In which Steve Harrington has to walk home in a torrential downpour, and happens to find Eddie Munson without an umbrella.
Words : 5,166 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : General Audiences
AO3 : x
Haunting
AnnetheCatDetective
Steve gets dragged to a haunted house… little does he know he's about to be a whole other kind of haunted.
Words : 8,890 Chapters : 3/3 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
I think I like them too
melonalemonade
Eddie was expecting to feel the sharp knuckles of a hand colliding with his jaw any second but the only thing colliding was a pair of soft lips … with his own.
Words : 2,035 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
off the beaten path
pukner
Post season 3, Steve manages to figure out that he's bisexual, despite his best efforts to repress it, comes out to Robin and Jonathan Byers of all people, and figures himself out. Also, there's a cute guy who might be actually insane running the kids' dnd club and he's got his eye on him. And his bandana.
Too bad Eddie Munson hasn't had a similar revelation. He's still under the impression that he's a straight man obsessing over Steve Harrington for normal, extremely heterosexual reasons.
Words : 34,208 Chapters : 6/6 Rating : Explicit
AO3 : x
you make it feel like christmas
oceanwaves23
Steve somehow ends up celebrating the Christmas of 1985 with Max and Eddie 'the Freak' Munson and it just might be his favorite Christmas yet.
Words : 9,122 Chapters : 3/3 Rating : Mature
AO3 : x
I wave goodbye to the end of beginning
LittleMissKnowItAll
Steve and Eddie properly meet for the first time in the middle of Family Video, somewhere during the summer of '85.
It's the start of a friendship, maybe even the start of something more.
Words : 19,814 Chapters : 2/2 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
kickstart my heart
inspectorabed
Eddie sighs and leans back in his chair. The plastic groans in protest under the weight of him. “You know, what sucks about all of this is that now I have to re-examine my biases. If Steve Harrington is actually, deep down, a decent guy, that means any of those asshole preps might be hiding a secret heart of gold. I mean, who’s next, Jason Carver?”
This makes Ant laugh rather hysterically. Eddie can’t tell if he’s doing it for dramatic effect or if he really thinks Eddie is that funny. “Okay, maybe not,” he concedes. “But you get my point.”
Words : 14,236 Chapters : 2/2 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
it's his party (and i'll fall if i want to)
formosus_iniquis
"Steve?" She nods, but even death couldn't stop him now,
"Harrington? Steve Harrington? King Steve? Steve "the Hair" Harrington? Steve "Big House, No Parents" Harrington? Steve "Sex God" Harrington?"
"I am certain you made at least those last two up. Yes, Steve "Lady Killer" Harrington invited me to his party."
"Are we about to be Carrie'd?"
Words : 25,411 Chapters : 2/2 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
I'm Beginning to Understand, There's No Mystery to This Man
senoritablack
Four times Eddie thinks Steve Harrington’s fucking with him, plus one time he accepts the compliment. Alternatively, the one where Steve’s been blatant since freshman year and Eddie’s really thick.
Words : 5,428 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
don't you know you might find a better place to stay
Anonymous
Eddie works the night shift at Hawkin's local grocery store. Somehow, Steve can't stop coming.
Words : 6,780 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
King Steve Buys Weed
StepfordSnarker
When Steve promises to get Robin high over the weekend, and his usual weed guy goes out of town, he needs to find a replacement. Eddie's grungy, and nerdy, and weird, but he'll have to do.
Words : 4,488 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Mature
AO3 : x
undue
meglimeg
Steve and Eddie knew each long before Vecna, before Hellfire, before the Upside Down.
Words : 6,301 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen And Up Audiences
AO3 : x
The Enormous Upside to Losing Everything
Stressed_Depressed_Lemonzest
Steve gets his heart broken in two and promptly trips over Eddie Munson. Then that school freak Steve usually wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole offers him weed to forget his troubles.
Words : 35,886 Chapters : 5/5 Rating : Mature
AO3 : x
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#fic rec#ficrec#is this a good time to admit that I'm not entirely sure what counts as canon divergence and I'm just hoping and praying with this one lmao
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Am i crazy? (Zosan X reader) P1
Plot: Reader hasn't been sleeping or eating, they wont let anyone touch then and keeps having accidents. Everyone if worried or thinks they've gone crazy but the reality is so much worse.
Warning: Domestic abuse (Not by the hands of Zoro or Sanji), Bad language, violence, self harm, blood, mental damage, forced kissing and manipulation.
Zoro X Sanji X reader, Poly relationship, established relationship, Reader is GN.
Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8

It's been weeks since you last smiled, your face always tired and you body slumped when ever you sit or stand. You stopped doing all the things you used too, having to force yourself to do the minimum. Cuts and bruises covered your body form head to toe and the old scar on your lower back hurt when ever you did something, like someone was jamming their finger into it. The old scar looked worse than it actually was, You abusive ex stabbed you years ago and refused to take you to hospital, it took three days of begging and almost dying on the kitchen floor for him to let you out the house, your mother took you to hospital where you had to get surgery to fix the damage only for your mother to drive you back to him. You begged her to help you but his money was good, and she hardly had a roof over her head. It took you a while but you got out, you drugged him and ran away, left the island you were born on and traveled the seas. Joining the straw hats was the best thing that ever happened to you, you settled in quite quickly with the joyful crew and took it upon yourself to do all the chores and learn to fight. Falling in love again was hard but your two partners never crossed any lines, you were respectful, and they never raised a hand to you, they loved you and cared for you. Everything used to be so great but now you can hardly do anything without a looming feeling over you, a strange breath on your neck.
Sleep was impossible, whenever you fell asleep the pain in your back would get worse or your bruised ankle would get tugged, a kiss form one of your boys made you feel better but after words you'd feel a painful amount of pressure squeezing your arm or leg as if telling you to stop. You though you were going crazy and when you told Chopper about it he prescribed you sleeping pills. That night when you went to take the pills there was none there, you felt hopeless and just wanted it all to stop. Sanji made you more snacks than normal to keep your strength up and took up most of the chores around the ship for you, he praised you in every way but when he spoke like that you hurt in some way ending up walking away form him. Zoro refused to let you into the training room no matter how much you begged, he'd sleep near you where ever your sitting and staring into space. He'd try and get you to eat by sharing food from his plate but you always refused.
Dinner was almost over and you hadn't touched a thing, the feeling of someone looming over you made your heart race, no one was there but you could feel a breath on the back of your neck. Zoro sat next to you watching your tired and bruised up figure slump in the chair, his heart broke at the sight of you, he just wanted you back, the happy and energetic person he fell in love with. The breath leaves your neck as Sanji walks over standing behind you to look at your plate "Didn't take your fancy love?" he asks seeing your plate untouched. He sighs when you don't answer and picks up a fork putting some food on it "Please love, just a bite" he begs bring the fork to your lips. The pain in your lower back returns, feeling like a finger is twisting it so you push the fork away the pain subsiding as you do. Sanji sighs putting the fork back on the plate and taking it away from you and handing it to Luffy, the captain was more than eager to eat it, but he was worried about you, they all were but there wasn't much they could do. they had to trust in Chopper and hope you'll get out of your mental breakdown of sorts. "How about i run you a hot shower!" Nami smile getting up and offering you a hand. She was your best friend and tried her best to make you feel better. She would normally snap at someone for being like this, but she knew something was different about this, she didn't know what though. You stand not taking her hand as she walks out the door with you.
Zoro sighs watching you walk out the door, your cloths hanging loosely on your body, you were pale but with dark bags under your blood shot eyes. He hated it, he felt useless. Sanji sat next to the swordsman in the seat you left taking the mans hand trying to comfort the both of them. "Chopper" Zoro sighs gripping the cooks hand and looking across the table at the reindeer. "Yes?" Chopper looks up from the table to the two men. "Have you thought of anything else? Y/N won't tell us anything" The swordsman asks resting his head on his hand leaning on the table. Chopper looks down at his hands "The pills i've given them don't seem to be working but i am looking at other stuff, like teas." the reindeer looks back up with a sad smile. You're not talking much anymore and have refused therapy. "What do we do?" Sanji asks twiddling an unlit cigarette through his fingers. Chopper shrugs, he hates not knowing what to do, but he'll do his best no matter how hard the situation is.
Nami offered to help but you refused wanting to shower alone, maybe the hot water would help calm you down. The looming feeling was gone and you wanted it to stay that way. After getting undressed in the changing room and grabbing your stuff you headed into the bathroom, the shower running hot water, filling up the room with warm steam. Taking your towel off and putting your stuff down you stepped under the water, it felt good on your skin but the fresh cuts hurt a little. You felt around your body noticing new bruises on your arms and the one on your ankle a lot darker, running your hand behind your lower back, you felt the dent your ex left, it was sore and very sensitive, probably badly bruised too. You let the tears you've been holding back flow down your face, the water carrying them away as you sobbed under the shower. You managed to control yourself enough to wash your hair and then your body only to hear the bathroom door open and close. You froze, slowly turning your head to look at the door, no one was there but that looming feeling was back, your heart raced in your chest and you felt like you couldn't catch your breath.
A step hit the water close to you and you backed up into the wall dropping the body wash you were just using as you cover your mouth with your hand. More slow steps walked across the bathroom and to you only stopping in front of the running water of the shower. You trembled a little not knowing what was going on, maybe you have lost it, maybe you are crazy. Something reached through the water and grabs your arm pulling you through the water and throwing you across the room. You back hit the wet floor as you slid across the floor only stopping just before hitting the wall. You sat up and moved back about to yell out when something covered your mouth and pressure was leaning on your bruised ankle making you cry out in pain, what ever was covering your mouth made it very muffled. "Shhhhh.... don't worry little bird" your eyes widen at the male voice in front of your face, you recognized the voice and the nickname that makes you feel sick. A shimmer starts to form and soon vanishes revealing your ex boyfriend in front of you. His hand over you mouth and his foot pressing against your ankle. His other arm placed on his knee as he kneels down to you, his black hair now almost gone and his sickly handsome face smirking at you. "There we go" he whispers with a smile seeing you stop struggling under him. "You've grown over the past few years... i missed you" your eyes water as you look at him, all the bad memorized coming back to you. "Oh no you going to cry? i'm the one who should be crying" his anger boils the hand on your mouth squeezing tighter your hands going around his wrist to try and pull him away, but he's too strong in you weak state.
He sighs trying to clam himself and loosening his hand around your mouth "Will you be a good birdy and stay quiet for me?" he asks his eyes soft but you know better. You nod gritting your teeth as he slides his hand from your mouth down to your neck pressing you against the wall. "Good birdy, you still remember your place" he smiles pushing a strand of wet hair behind your ear. "You really hurt me sweet bird" he sighs leaning closer, you hold in a scream as his foot shifts on your bruised ankle only letting out a little grunt making him smile a little "I saw your wanted poster and knew i had to find you again. Im lucky you know, i had a lot of help but when i found you and saw you so happy with those two other guys" his grip tighten on your neck making you gasp for air trying to struggle under him as his eyes boil with anger "You're crew won't let you go willingly, so we'll have to make them kick you out" he slowly loses the grip around your neck as you pant for air tears falling down your cheeks "That's what i'm going to do. Make it so unbearable to have you around that they have to make you leave. i can't fight them even with my new devil fruit powers" he laughs a little shaking his head.
"W-What?" you whisper, his eyes connect with yours, he loves seeing the fear in your eyes. "There's this factory that makes devil fruits, it took me a while to get my hands on one, i was hoping i could use it to destroy your crew but when the Suke Suke no Mi fruit came along i knew it was the right one. The invisible man." his smile gets wider making you skin crawl "You've been doing this to me?" you ask your heart sinking in your chest, the past few weeks he's been around you, hurting you, stopping you form sleeping and eating and you had no idea. A part of you was happy you weren't crazy while the other part was full of fear. "Your too smart my birdy" he runs a hand through your hair before taking a fist full and slamming your head into the wall, you yell out in pain only for his other hand to go around your mouth again. "Now for some rules... Every time you do something wrong or that i don't like i'm going to hurt you like i normally do, if you do a good job I'll let you get a little sleep and eat a little, i can't have you dying on me." he leans closer to your face placing a kiss on your forehead.
"What are their names? Sanji and Zoro? if you touch them, talk to them, look at them or gods forbid kiss them i won't hesitate to kill them in their sleep, i want you to ignore then only and If you try telling anyone about me I'll make your life even worse" he lets go of your hair and wipe the tears off your face "I'm always with you and when i'm not, I'll lock you in your room where you'll be safe. i love you Y/n... All i want is to have you back, i'm the only one who can touch you" he lowers his hand back down to your neck and looks you over "I miss you so much" he whispers leaning in to kiss your lips but you turn your head away, you realize your mistake the moment it happened, you had no chose but to follow his orders and now you were going to pay the price. He growls pushing your body down onto the floor and getting in top of you to stop you form going anywhere. His hands around your neck as he strangles you against the ground "Don't you fucking turn away form me" he yells into your face before pulling a hand away and slapping you in the face, you cry out and try to push him off while yelling out apologies.
He lets go suddenly stepping over you and turning invisible as you curl up into a ball on the wet floor still apologizing over and over again. The door burst open Nami rushing in almost slipping in the wet floor as she stops next to you and gets on her knees to try and help you. Her hands touch your skin and you flinch away, you know he's watching you and you don't want to get hurt again "Y/N? what happened, your bleeding... there's no need to be sorry" she panics looking you over, seeing the back of your head leaking blood. She gets up and rushes out the room calling for chopper. You feel a hand on your back knowing it's your ex you don't flinch away knowing what will happen if you do "This time, I'll let that Nami girl and the doctor touch you... good birdy" he whispers stepping away as more foot steps approach. "Im sorry" you whisper one more time bring your hands up to your eyes to try and clear your eyes of the tears. Nami and Chopper run in and checks you over while Nami covers you with a towel and rubs your arm. You reach out your hand to touch her but pull away remembering he said they can touch you not you can touch them.
#one piece#polly relationship#zoro x reader#roronoa zoro#sanji x zoro#sanji x reader#zosan#zoro x sanji#zosan x reader#one piece zosan#zosan fanfic#blackleg sanji#vinsmoke sanji#black leg sanji#zoro roronoa#zoro x sanji x reader#halloween
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Oof Maddie's comment about her mom finally stepping up and being a mother just not to her and how all her friends Xavier Simon Claire Nichole could all tell that Maddie wasn't Maddie but Janet and usually right away Simon is also the only one that can see ghost Maddie and Claire hasn't spoken much to her since their falling out and even so they all KNEW yet her mother hasn't she's commented how different she is cause she thinks her daughter has been through trauma and it's changed her but like idk I'm hoping she's just lying to herself and wanting to believe it's her daughter and her daughter now wants to be mothered by her and isn't angry anymore but I feel like her mom just doesn't know her own daughter at all past her daughter taking care of her all these long years and that's even sadder I feel so damn sorry for Maddie thinking Janet will be a better her than she could ever be and I don't think it's just bc Janet is more 'intelligent' I think part of it is seeing her relationships after she was missing and especially seeing her mom go from an addict who is drunk all the time and so selfish towards Maddie to caring mother to someone who looks like Maddie but isn't and I loved Wally telling her that he wishes they could stay but he wants her to return to her life and live and that you don't have to do big great things that change the world to be deserving of life but rather just live as yourself and you'll help people along the way Maddie has changed so many of the lives she's touched living and dead and I'm glad he was there to point that out for her cause she's going through it i really love Maddie and Wally together back on topic though I'd love to see Maddie's mom continue with her recovery and try and repair her relationship and finally have to face that Janet/Maddie isn't her daughter I'm very curious to see if she ever will and I think it'd be messed up if she noticed Mr Anderson wasn't Anderson but someone else (martin) before she would realize it about her daughter bc she probably knows him better I think Maddie took care of her mom but spent as little time as possible with her and I am so curious as to what Simon's home life is so far he's one we know nothing about like his parents took away his car as punishment after finding out his best friend was missing probably dead and then we hear nothing from them or see them in Simon's life at all he has a break down and breaks his phone in the process and never gets it replaced and now that Janet/Maddie killed his phone I'm curious to see if it will get replaced or if it will be a thing with his parents like the car idk Simon seemed not ok even before Maddie's death/disappearance and I kinda wonder if they bonded over their home life sucking for whatever reason like so far Claire Xavier Maddie and even Nichole seem to have issues going on at home just Simon's my fave so I hope we get to know more about him and needless to say I'm just theorizing and very excited to read others thoughts and theories and very excited for the next episode <3
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It’s very hilarious because age wise Taylor Swift’s literally in the same age range as Adele, Beyoncé, SZA, Hozier… and Taylor’s discography is so juvenile. It’s like she’s so out of touch with reality that the only problems she can master in songwriting are romantic relationships. Her music as a teenager had more weight than the music she makes as a grown woman. And this isn’t even by the fact that she doesn’t have kids - SZA is right there!
Her latest albums sounds like it was made by a 19 years old. Which would be Olivia Rodrigo, Tate McRae, etc, like this woman is 34 years old and it’s talking about wanting to be touched by the hands of a gamer… be for real. And the “I’m having his kids, not I didn’t” is so corny that it produced me second hand embarrassment. And might you this song is about a racist she dated for like 2 months… And one of her songs being an exact concept of get him back by Olivia Rodrigo, who was 19 when she made that… I need her fans to be for real. this album is garbage.
Honestly, it's not even just this album. Like, you're 100% right, but let's go back even further.
"Look what you made me do" - it literally sounds like a child blaming someone else for their own mistakes. "You made me late to practice!!" says the child who refused to do their mandatory chores earlier, or didn't remember to give their parent the note about an extra practice. Because emotionally intelligent and mature adults recognize that it's a very rare situation that someone truly MAKES you do anything. And I find it VERY hard to believe that anyone truly MADE - as in FORCED - Taylor Swift to do anything.
"Bad Blood" - is quite literally about Taylor Swift throwing a tantrum because Katy Perry hired her dancers. Let me give you an insider look at how commercial dance works as a career. Let's call our fake dancer Katie. Katie auditions for Taylor Swift's tour and gets selected - she now has employment secured for the next 12 months. Anywhere between 3 and 6 months before the end of that contract, Katie will begin looking for her next audition/contract. Why? Because dancers are freelancers, so if you aren't working, you aren't getting paid. So if Taylor Swift wants Katie to be in her next project, she needs to have that contract ready to present as soon as she makes that decision, and the longer she waits, the less chance there is that Katie will not yet have signed a new contract. If Katy Perry reaches out to Katie's agent at the 6mo mark with an offer, and Taylor Swift hasn't offered anything after her tour, Katie is faced with this dilemma: take the Katy Perry offer - a guaranteed job - or decline and HOPE that something else comes along quickly. Dancers can't afford to gamble their livelihood like that, so Katie takes the Katy Perry job. If Taylor comes to Katie three months later wanting to offer a new contract, she's out of luck. Not because Katie was "stolen", but because she made an intelligent financial decision for her life and career.
"Better Than Revenge" - I don't care that she changed the mattress line, she was still a grown ass adult when she wrote it, and frankly the fact that she spends the entire song referring to the hypothetical guy as a "toy" is creepy and gross.
"What Doesn't Kill Me Makes Me Want You More" - literally sounds like an obsessive teenager in a toxic relationship. So if he beats you bloody, you still want to be with him? No, seek help.
And the list goes on. SO MANY of her songs are these pedantic little 8th grade diary takes coming out of a mid-30's woman. Just compare Adel's "Someone Like You" to literally any Taylor Swift song. Has Taylor EVER wished her ex's "nothing but the best, just please don't forget me"? Because if memory serves, it's always either "I want you back wah poor me" or "fuck you you're a toxic piece of shit".
One of my favorite adult artists is Hilary Duff. She's been releasing albums since the early 2000's as a teenager, so she's roughly in the same situation as Taylor. However, Hilary's work very clearly aged with her. From one of her early albums, Metamorphosis, she has songs like Sweet Sixteen, Metamorphosis, and Working it Out, all of which are about different experiences of being young, recognizing you're still growing and becoming yourself, and the excitement confusion that often comes along with that. None of those three songs are about a boy, but do mention them as *part* of her life. As a young 20-something, Hilary released Reach Out, which is a spicy, suggestive party song. It conjures up images of dark rooms, loud music, and roaming hands. "It's like the prey playing games with the hunter, nowhere to run boy, time to surrender". It's notably more mature and suggestive than anything she sang at 16/17. Then several years later, in her 30s, we got songs like Confetti and My Kind, which are about finding people - romantically or platonically - that are "our kind" of people or who will "catch" us. Looking for stability and authenticity, people who are real and want to stick with you for the long haul because they like you for who you really are. No more flings and hook ups from her 20s, she's a grown adult who wants the people around her to be real, even when it's not what she wants to hear.
We don't see this kind of growth or change with Taylor Swift. She's still writing the same angry breakup songs we was writing at 17, and her lyricism hasn't even improved. If anything, I think it got worse.
Anyway, this got really long, but oh well. You're so right, anon, and it's WILD.
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Fifty Shades
Hey everyone! This is a look at the first chapter of my new Christian Grey book! I just started writing yesterday so I'm only on chapter 3. I'll upload the book whenever I fully finish writing it. I plan on doing 3 books just like the films. I'll upload it daily to my Wattpad and Tumblr whenever I finish writing. ALSO! This is a Christian Grey x Black!fem!reader, but you can still ofc read this book if you're not Black. I've never seen any Christian Grey BWWM fics so I decided to write my own. I really hope you all enjoy this! Lmk what y'all think!!
🩶Y/n's Pov🩶
It was around 7:00 AM when I woke up. I was supposed to be job hunting since I recently dropped out of college, and since then, my parents stopped giving me money. I dropped out because I want to do something I love in life, which is acting of course. But I need to be realistic, I need a stable income since my parents weren't providing for me anymore, and I need the money for acting classes.
My parents weren't rich or anything, but their income was stable and they were well off. I'm the fourth kid out of five siblings. My oldest brother, Ryan, is 30 years old; he's in the Navy, currently on duty. I miss him, I haven't seen him for six months. My big sister, Nyla, is 28 years old. We're not on speaking terms right now. We haven't spoken in two months, two months ago I found out her husband was abusing her.
I confronted her about it and tried to offer her help but she didn't want it. You can't help someone who doesn't want help, and ever since, she hasn't spoken to me, I've tried reaching out but she just ignores me. Theres only so much I can do.
My other brother, Miles, 26 years old, is a firefighter. He's not around that much, not because of any drama or anything, but because being a first responder takes up a lot of your time. Then next of course is me. 19 years old and now a college drop out. After me is my baby sister, Aniyah, who's fourteen years old. She just started her freshman year of high school.
I totally forgot I was supposed to be taking a break from job hunting today, my best friend Aaliyah is currently sick so I'm supposed to be interviewing some man for her. Aaliyah works for our local journalists company. And I'm currently sharing a two bedroom apartment with her until I can afford to live on my own.
I stared at the wall for a couple of minutes until I finally got up and started my day. I brushed my teeth, then got in the shower and washed my face while I was in there, it's more convenient. I got out and dried myself off, now putting on some coconut oil, then going in with some vanilla lotion.
I wanted to go with a professional look today so whoever I was interviewing would take me seriously. Aaliyah would not tell me who the man was, she says I'll gasp when I see him though. I highly doubt it.
I decided to go with some basic colors for my outfit since this is a business setting. I may be a broke bitch right now, but my outfits are still gonna eat. I placed in some earrings, sprayed some perfume, and walked into the living room.
Aaliyah was sitting on the couch with some Ginger Ale and Saltine crackers.
"You feeling any better?" I asked as she threw her head back. "No! My stomach is killing me!" She groaned. "Aww, I'm sorry, babes." I frowned at her current mood. She's been like this for the past 2 days.
"Hey, take my car today." She offered but I kindly rejected. "Take it! I'm not gonna tell you again!" She stated. She sounds just like my mom. "Okay! I'll take it." I said as I took her keys off the table. I was at the door about to open it until she spoke up again. "Do you remember where to go, Y/n?" She asked as I rolled my eyes. "It's the 21st century, Aaliyah, I have a gps." I smartly said as she threw a cracker at me.
She missed as I laughed at her and headed out the door.
I pulled up to a building called "Grey House" it had a sleek modern design and was really tall. It looks expensive. I checked in with the woman at the front desk. I had to look at the paper that Aaliyah handed me for the name of the man I was interviewing. "Um- I'm supposed to be interviewing Christian Grey." I said as I looked at the name again making sure that it was right.
She smiled and kindly told me the room number and floor. When I made it to floor twenty, I was greeted by two women who offered to take my purse and was bringing me to Mr. Grey's office. I followed the blonde women down the hallway as I admired the look inside. The floor was white marble, their were glass doors and windows everywhere, along with paintings.
"Right this way." The blonde announced as we stood in front of two double doors. The doors were wide and long with two cylinder handles. I haven't even met this man yet but I for some reason feel nervous all ready. I opened the door, not even noticing the extra step. In result I tripped into the room. "Ounch!"
I fell on my wrists. As I looked up, I saw a man turned around looking out into the window with a gray suit on. His office was massive. I was still on the floor as he turned around and started walking towards me. "Ms. Robins." He stated. I guess he thought I was Aaliyah.
His long legs strutted over to me, he looks so powerful, and rich. "Are you alright?" His questioned with a look of concern as he helped me up. I nodded my head before shook my hand. I finally got a good look at him and thats when I realized who he was. I held in my gasp but my eyes widened. He was that billionaire. He's one of the richest men on earth.
I guess he took notice to my widened eyes. He chuckled a bit before greeting me. "Christian Grey."
"Y/n Walker." I greeted back.
I couldn't read his face, it was like a mix of amusement and curiosity. "Um, Ms. Robins has the flu, so she asked me to fill in." I say as I realize he was probably wondering who I was since I'm not Aaliyah. "So I see." He started off. "So, you're studying journalism as well?" He finished as I shook my head no.
"No- I-um recently dropped out of college." My voice was hesitant, to be honest I was kinda embarrassed. I quickly changed the subject back to Aaliyah. "I'm Aaliyah's friend, she's sick right now so I'll be taking over the interview."
Mr. Grey looked passed me and nodded his head before walking back to his desk. "As I said, I only have ten minutes." That was kind of rude. I rolled my eyes, thinking he didn't notice but he did. He tilted his head, amused at the fact that I would even do that.
I hurried and sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. I began to look down at the journal, reading through some of the notes. I mentally picked one of the questions and turned on my recorder. I looked up and Mr. Grey had this cold look, he looked annoyed almost, like he didn't wanna be here. It was making me feel nervous and a bit self conscious.
It was silent for a bit until he stood up and walked over to me, handing me a pencil that had his name on it for some reason. He sighed before resting on the front of his desk. "Ready?" I asked with smile. "Whenever you are." He replied. I smiled again before looking down at the notebook.
"Um-okay. So this is for the special graduation issue on the student newspaper." I explained. "Yes, I'm giving the commencement address at this year's ceremony." He answered. I was actually surprised, this is a man who usually keeps to himself. "You are?" I asked just to make sure I heard right.
He looked liked he was offended by my question so I quickly back tracked. I was trying to look for words to say but I couldn't really think of any. "I mean, um..I know." I softly said. I then looked back down at my paper seeing what else I can ask him. The room was filled with awkward silence until I spoke up.
"You are very young to have amassed such an empire. To what do you owe-" before I could even finish reading the question, he cut me off. "-To what do I owe my success?" He said with an attitude. I looked back down at the paper before answering "Yep.." I awkwardly said.
"Seriously?" He scoffed.
"Yes.." I frowned. "Business is about people." He started off as he walked back to the other side of his desk. "And I've always been good at people. What motivates them, what incentivizes them, what inspires them." He finished. I gave him an apologetic look before speaking up. "No offense, sir, but maybe you're just lucky." I stated. "Excuse me?" I'm assuming no one has ever spoken to him like that.
For some reason he had a smile on his face. "I've always found that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have." He said. He stared at me for a bit before he started talking again. "The key to my success has been in identifying talented individuals and harnessing their efforts."
"So you're a control freak." I mumbled lowly just enough for me to hear but apparently he heard it too. "Oh, I exercise control in all things, Ms. Walker." He smirked. I softly laughed at statement before looking back down at my paper. His smirk turned me on, my whole body started feeling hot.
"Do you have any interests outside of work?" I read. "I enjoy various physical pursuits." He said with that same exact smirk again. I licked my lips before looking back down at the paper. I wasn't even paying that much attention to the words, more so just saying them out loud.
"You're unmarried-oh, you were adopted at age four!" I said with shock. I was starting to become more interested.
"Thats a matter of public records." He coldly said. I immediately put my head down not wanting to be in his view, but he ended up sitting down next to me in the other chair. He tilted my chin up with his finger as he looked into my eyes. His icy blue eyes were so beautiful, just like the ocean.
"Why don't you ask me something that you want to know?" He asked before taking his hand away from my chin. My breathing was shallow from his touch, his fingers were smooth, yet rough. I cleared my throat before answering. "Earlier, you said that there are some people who know you well..but I get the feeling that, that's not true?" I sincerely asked.
The room went silent, he was thinking about what to say, no one has ever asked him that deep of a question. Most interviewers just ask him stuff like "How does it feel to be one of the richest men alive", "When are you getting married?", or "How much do you spend in a day?"
Before he could answer my question, the blonde from earlier poked into the room. "Mr. Grey, your next meeting is in the conference room." She announced. "Cancel, please. Me and Y/n are not finished here." He says, not even looking at her, his attention was fully focused on me. My heart started beating faster, that was all the questions I have for him. "Yes sir." The blonde responded.
"Oh- sir, thats all the que-" "I would like to know more about you." He stated. His eyes were filed with curiosity, waiting for me to answer. "There's really not much to know about me." I shyly said. And I was right. I'm only nineteen, I haven't really even been through life yet.
"You said you were a college drop out?" Even though he's correct, I did say that and it did happen, it still felt like a stab to the chest anytime someone says it out loud. "Yes." I pressed my lips together to stop myself from frowning. "Why?" He asked. I lifted my head back up at him to see his head tilted, waiting for me to answer. "What do you mean?"
"Why did you drop out? Money problems? You're parents?" He questioned. "I want to be an actress. It's my dream." I smiled. "What made you fall in love with film?" He asked as he leaned closer into me. I was starting to get nervous from how close he is but I nonetheless answered his question.
"When I was a little girl, my dad would take me to almost every new movie that came out." I started off, thinking about all those soft memories. "Film is something we bonded over, then middle school I joined drama, but I haven't done anything theater wise since senior year of high school." I smiled.
He look intrigued by my answer. "How old are you, Y/n?" He asked as he squinted his eyes. "I'm nineteen, sir. You?" He seemed surprised by my answer. "Why that face?" I asked as he shook his head. "Nothing, you just look really young." He answered. "Thank you?" I didn't know if it was a compliment or not. "You didn't my first question, how old are you, Mr. Grey?" I asked again. "Twenty-seven" he stated. I squeezed my legs, older men are just so much hotter for some reason. I guess he saw my legs squeeze together, he stared at my thighs for a while before speaking up.
"If you're looking to make some extra money, I have a personal assistant job opening." He offered. I softly laughed before speaking up. "I don't think I would be the right person for that job." "I think you'd be perfect for it." He said back as he rubbed my thigh some. I was officially turned on now. I stood up before things could go any further.
"Um- Thats all the questions I have for you." I said as I was now walking out the door. The blonde woman from earlier handed me my purse back as I thanked her. "I hope you got everything you needed." Mr. Grey said as we were now by the elevator. "I did. Thank you, Mr. Grey." I thanked as he shook his head. "Christian." I smiled and pressed the button for the elevator as he tuned me around by my waist.
"In case you rethink about the personal assistant position." He said before he handed me his business card. I took the card from him and thanked him whilst walking into the elevator.
"Goodbye, Christian."
"Goodbye, Y/n."
#christian grey#christiangreyxreader#fifty shades of grey#fifty shades trilogy#fifty shades darker#fifty shades freed#jamie dornan#50 shades of gray#50 shades trilogy#50 shades darker#christiangreyxfem!reader#christiangreybwwm#christiangreyxblack!fem!reader#christiangreysmut#fiftyshadesbwwm
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its my golden bday babyy i am 29 on the 29th today

life updates under the cut!!
i feel like my lifes been going 1000mph for a while now but some notable moments
- i got my masters degree and it was the hardest thing ive ever done honestly i didn't think i was gonna make it but my degree is in applied biosciences!! im v passionate abt a lot of science research so im excited to see where that takes me.
- im a homeowner now !! living w my 3 siblings and splitting a mortgage and its honestly so nice. the house so lovely and ive been through so much roommate hell in the past decade so its been nice to have housing security and ppl i can count on. house is kind of a zoo with so many animals though (2 cats, cockatiel, snake, axolotl, fish & coral) but we make it work
- I'm still working in clinical research as a coordinator on the only NIH funded long covid trial and it's been kind of brutal. not just because of the topic and the study itself being all over the fucking place, but they recently fucked me over financially and now I'm pretty much stuck working there until at least early next year.. but it does feel cool to contribute to such important research that is going to affect millions of people! I've been working on covid studies since summer of 2020 on both treatments and vaccines and now long covid. so I'm pretty burnt out but grateful that I've learned so much about how to protect myself and my loved ones because I'm pretty much the only person I know that still hasn't gotten covid yet. please PLEASE continue to mask, most importantly protect your face holes, and care for each other because everything we know so far is so horrific and we still have very little in terms of treatment options. the future is really looking so grim tbh.
- since October of last year I've been pretty involved in local organizing centered around Palestine. since then and especially during the international call for encampments I've really gotten to know a lot of amazing people who inspire me and remind me that a better world really is possible and we can really fucking build it ourselves. I feel like I've spent a really large portion of my twenties grieving my future because of climate catastrophe and endless war. but for the first time I feel safe and hopeful. I really encourage everyone to connect with your local organizations, meet people and get involved because getting connected and organized is really the only solution to every problem we face and if you're like me and feel existential dread on the daily, this is the best solution.
- and speaking of the friends and comrades we met along the way... I just want to talk about how much I love my friends and the people around me because I would have never made it to 29 without you. I love my local sapphic squad That makes that drained social battery go back to being full. and I love love all my out-of-state friends who continue to talk to me and want to be in my life still despite the distance!! I'm literally flying out tomorrow and seeing East Coast friends I started hanging out with during Homestuck days back in 2013 and now 11 years later. we're still planning shit together.
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TW: This post talks about the current conflict in Palestine and mentions loss of life. Please look after yourself and proceed with caution. 🧡
MJF's silence in regards to the genocide has been bothering me for the last few weeks and I'm growing more and more concerned that he may be in support of the removal of Palestine and its people.
He has been unapologetically vocal about his Jewish beliefs and heritage for years but recently it's felt like it's been more frequent and I wonder if this is his way of showing his support to Israel or if he maybe hasn't considered the optics of doing all this, standing beside an Israeli flag to recieve rightfully deserved honours, but saying nothing about what that flag actually represents (the murder of nearly 20000 people and the oppression of millions just in the last 2 months.)
He's an amazing advocate for the Jewish community, and he deserves all this recognition, and I'm sure people much smarter than me have spoken about how fair it is to expect rules on how Jewish people navigate their faith online, but does anyone else think the timing is a bit strange? I don't know about anyone else, but I will never be able to separate the art from the artist and I can't support someone who thinks what is happening to Palestinians is or ever has been okay. I really hope I'm just reading all this wrong.
Maybe I've missed something and this isn't the red flag my gut is telling me it is, if I have please feel free to educate me and I will update this post with any and all relevant information.
Please consider boycotting Starbucks, McDonald's, Zara, and Disney. Please consider calling your representatives to demand and end to arms sales, a permanent ceasefire, and a return of all hostages, and if it is safe to do so, please get to the next rally in your local area. Our voices matter,and we can make a difference. We just have to try. 🍉
EDIT: I would like to add, though I am not American that there has been a 300% rise in antisemitic hate crimes since Oct 7 and this could very well be a reason Max has chosen not to speak on the genocide. As always, hate of any kind is not welcome on this page, especially antisemitism. We can be critical and discuss this issue without resulting to hate speech!
EDIT #2: it's okay to feel confused and scared and conflicted about this issue. Jewish people and Muslim people deserve our love and support right now. If you would like to talk or would like further information to better educate yourself on the Nekba, on the original Israeli solution, and how the UN and America and the UK came to create it, and what's happening now, please feel free to reach out anytime.
EDIT #3: I want to reiterate that I am not accusing Max of anything, I am airing my concerns and my confusions and feelings. Again, I understand that this is a complicated issue but we all have a responsibility to do the best we can and stand up for humanity whenever we can.

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Weekly Roundup 9th June - 30th June
So, im a little behind with weekly round up as im sure you can see. A broken wrist and RL really has been kicking my arse. Thankfully my wrist ismuch better and Rl seems to have calmsed down somewhat so im back. Between the 9-30th June I uploaded 19,849 words (thats not all I wrote but I didnt keep track lol) and as always I will put 6 recs and mine under the read more.
So, as always, recs first: The Best of You and Me - giddytf2 - The Witcher (Geralt/Jaskier, I love it hwen they are both idiots tbh)
Summary: In which Jaskier discovers that he's mysteriously pregnant but wants the baby, Geralt finally learns to use his words after twenty years, Yennefer is so done with two idiots in love and their communication problems, and Ciri gains a new family.
A Dream or Something More - amloveabledeathmo - The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)(Bilbo/Thorin, Quest retelling, The Rivendell scene is just so precious)
Summary: Bilbo gets a second chance, but how long is it before he realizes it. He does things to make himself happy and treats the dwarves like the lovely family they are. Also setting Bilbo a bit younger here not middle aged but about 40ish so like 10 or so years earlier to give him more time with his dwarves.
My Ego Dies - Conkers - The Hobbit (Jackson Movies) @conkers-thecosy (Bilbo/Thorin, this is just all around adorable)
Summary: What if Frodo Baggins visited Erebor ten years after Bilbo returned to the Shire, and met with Thorin Oakenshield.
White lies - ylc - The Witcher (TV) (Geralt/Jaskier, Fake/pretend relationships are just so much fun) Summary: In Jaskier’s defense, he hadn’t actually believed Geralt would come looking for him eventually, so he figured that telling his mother that the Witcher was the father of the child he was carrying would be a completely harmless lie. And then of course Geralt had walked back into his life and things got… complicated.
Moonlight Feathers - Akikofuma - Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Geralt/Jaskier, both are griffins and its so bloody cute)
Summary: Due to his coloring, Geralt will never have a family of his own, he's sure of it; until he meets Jaskier.
Learning how to be free - tashaxxxxxx - Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Geralt/Jaskier, A/b/o, please mind the tags but this is so beautifully done)
Summary: Jaskier is a badly beaten omega belonging to King Vizimir with little hope for the future. He had even less hope when he’s told he’s going to be given away to the Witchers, bloodthirsty beasts, as assurance that Redania will keep to the peace treaty.
Jaskier has little hope of surviving the next few days, let alone of finding freedom and love.
And, as always, my fics. I have 6 fics to share with you for this time period <3
Ereborian Pride (Bilbo/Thorin and the final of my Baggin-shieldtober series that took me 9 months lol. Once again, thank you @smolestboop for the amazing prompts. Summary: On the afternoon of Kili's 18th birthday, Thorin and the rest of the company and their families) remembeed their past lives. Their quest, living in a thriving Erebor.
Thorin remembered loving and losing Bilbo. 4 year later there still hasn't been any word from their burglar. Thorin needs to find the other half of his heart.
Count, Count, Count before you Cry: Count, Count, Count before I Die (Bilbo/Thorin, written for @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt count the days, very sad, please read the tags)
Summary: Thorin and the dwarves are Gold sick and they have NOT forgiven Bilbo his betrayal
A pair of scarlet rain boots (Geralt/Jaskier, My very first Witcher fic that I think is one of my fav things I've written)
Summary: Jaskier passed away a long time ago. The only human in a family of non-humans.
Cirilla has just had her first child and she wishes with all her heart her only human parent was here. Of course, he loved her so much he has never left her.
My brothers, my boys, my twins (Horry Potter, its Percy and George, gen fic for the @hp-abandonshipfest, its also part of my FireSeeker (Percy/Viktor) Series)
Summary: Percy was unintentionally parentified at a young age. He was tasked with being an extra parent to the twins. Now, having dumped his boyfriend, the night before the twins 22nd Birthday, the first birthday without Fred, he finds himself with George and Harry. Reminiscing about the boys he all but helped raised. His twins, and one is missing forever-more.
For the Abandon ship fest, prompt 67: Pre canon, Percy being the one who mostly watches the twins.
Dorcas the Orca, The Maruaders and a jail cell (A marauuders gen crack fic for a wonderful friend of mine)
Summary: Sirius, James and Remus are put in a jail cell.
As annoying as it is, Remus would have dealt with it, but theres an orca in the corner of the cell somehow...
If I sing it loud and clear, will you finally hear? (Geralt/Jaskier, for the @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt - House of cards)
Summary: Jaskier has a new song and is as subtle as a drunken Lambert.
If Geralt doesnt see Jaskier's feelings for him now, well theres no hope for him.
#weekly roundup#geralt/jaskier#the witcher#mpreg#the hobbit#bilbo/thorin#Quest retelling#Post BOTFA#fake/pretend relationship#a/b/o#animal au#others fics#Fic recs#my fics#the marauders#crack fic
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