#and if they're using it in that sense they should play god save the king twice when lando wins once for the brit and once for the kiwi team

[margaretthotcher]

I mean to be fair their logo is still literally a kiwi. I'd say thats pretty core to their identity.

i hope he never stops talking

[siffrin-enthusiast]

hey chat i’ve been having Thoughts about siffrin again.

tws for heavy discussions of unhealthy coping mechanisms, self-harm & suicide in the game in stars and time, spoilers for the entire game act 6 twohats etc etc. if anyone reads this and thinks of any more tws i should add, send them in and i'll add them to the top of this post.

your last warning of heavy discussions VERY unhealthy coping, the urge to and methods of physical and emotional SELF-HARM, and the weight of SUICIDE. i just want to reiterate that IT IS A LOT. use your best judgement before & while reading this post and PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

last last warning. just to be sure.

siffrin self-harms in the loops. we all know this, right? from the increasingly barbaric means they use to loop back, the glass shard they pick up and use, the bigfrin fight where your only craft skill is "(don't attack.) can't hurt them. attack the only person left" and the party visibly reacts to you using it. it's not exactly subtle.

it makes sense that the pretty popular headcanon is that siffrin doesn't drop the habit of self-harming after coming out of the loops. i agree with that, but i also think that it's not done in the way most people are thinking! let me explain.

siffrin's self-harming behavior in the loops boils down to three major (and very intertwined) truths about their situation.

siffrin does not recognize the value in his life. this has been a thing since before sif joined the party. they happened to cross paths and stepped up to defeat a "particularly strong Sadness" (and for reference, fully leveled storming the house Mirabelle gets nervous about fighting a Sadness. they will freeze you in time. they ripped out siffrin's eye in one blow. they are DANGEROUS.) and siffrin comes along to save this country because "there's nothing else for you to do". and then the loops start. siffrin realizes he can die and. well. holy fuck. we've all played the game. siffrin is literally killing himself, killing himself, for convenience because it's annoying to walk to a tear. and it's his idea!! if you do it enough times, the death text changes from (You killed yourself.) to (You saved yourself some time.) loop has a line about advising siffrin against suicide because they'll see themself as "disposable" and...yeah. yeah. they do.

siffrin will not let physical or emotional harm come to the other members of their party. again, this is something seen before the loops, when siffrin loses his eye defending bonnie from a sadness, and how they still cringe over being 'inconsiderate' to mira months ago during their travels across vaugarde. when the party panics after (just attack), siffrin loops. when the party dies in loop's hangout, siffrin loops. when bonnie is taken by the king, siffrin loops. when isa is taken aback by bad touch, siffrin loops. when odile realizes they're in a time loop in kinda sus, siffrin loops. when the party watches siffrin hurt himself in the bigfrin fight, siffrin attempts to loop. good god, there's a scene where if you try and use the dagger on your family members siffrin blames his intrusive thoughts and stabs themself. because of their intrusive thoughts. his dreams are about the fear of hurting their friends. their worst, most traumatizing moments are about other people getting hurt.

siffrin's actions in the loops are reversible. if something is done, it can be undone. it can be scripted around. their party will not know unless siffrin chooses to tell them. none of their actions have consequences. sif delights in this (until realizing beating the king doesn't free him from the loop). fuck up bonnie's friendquest? loop! miss a key? loop! say the wrong thing? loop! everyone dies horribly? loop! loop! loop!

and after the loops? let's take a moment to reevaluate siffrin's situation:

siffrin does not recognize the value of his life. still.

siffrin will not let physical or emotional harm come to the other members of their party. still.

siffrin's actions are no longer reversible. there is no time loop. what happens now happens--no second chances, no undo button. they are permanent. especially now that they've seen sif try to loop, the smell of burnt sugar that precedes it, and odile figured out how to shut it down. all of their actions have consequences.

immediately after the bigfrin fight, mira asks where sif is going and bonnie LITERALLY says "Yeah, you're stupid if you think we're leaving you to do whatever you want right now." and the party double-checks that siffrin is going to see loop before letting them run off. and then twohats happens. when siffrin gets back, isa comments "We were getting worried." in siffrin's small absence (despite knowing exactly where siffrin was, talking to loop, who the party has a favorable opinion of) and then mira calls them out directly for looking sad.

the party is watching siffrin like fucking hawks.

i fully believe that siffrin would feel the urge to self-harm. i fully believe that the party knows this too. and i think siffrin would at least suspect that the party is going to be looking very, very closely for signs of more physical self-harm.

there's a phenomenon i don't have a name for but that i've seen repeated where someone trying to recover from using an unhealthy coping mechanism can slip into using a different unhealthy coping mechanism instead. in school, perfectionism can lead to avoidance. if a person shuts down for too long, they might start acting out or doing other attention-seeking behaviors as a cry for help. and after we experience continuous trauma, a lot of people will seek out or be more attached to unhealthy relationships (of any time) and find comfort & stability in the abuse endured. obviously this isn't the case every time, and i don't even know if it's a Thing i actually read about in psychology classes or just a pattern i've been noticing! i'm no professional.

for siffrin, actions and their consequences are now permanent. so i really, really don't think he's going to self-harm unless they're 100% sure they're going to get away with it (and i doubt the opportunity will arise for months). because if the party finds out they self-harm, that breaks sif's rule of not letting physical/emotional harm come to the party. they're going to be devastated. we already saw how they acted when siffrin did it in front of them when he was using the dagger to loop, the bigfrin fight. when dagger looping, siffrin was more shaken up about watching their family watch siffrin die than the literally killing himself part. they do it in front of their party and in the bigfrin fight because he thinks he can loop back. but that is no longer siffrin's reality. the party will be devastated if siffrin hurts himself and siffrin cannot undo that hurt.

("Yeah, you're stupid if you think we're leaving you to do whatever you want right now.")

i think that since physical self-harm is banned for siffrin, he's going to subconsciously shift to emotional or at least more subtle self-harm. keeping that unhealthy emotional distance. getting angry and frustrated and bitter. overly helpful. denial and minimizing and suppressing the loops. alcoholism. dissociating from their feelings. keeping their expectations so, so soul-crushingly low. passivity. whatever was left of his self-esteem is going through a woodchipper. self-sabotage his relationships. impulsive behavior. throwing themself into the party's problems to forget his own.

little things, subtle unconscious displays of siffrin's utter loathing of himself that he thinks on some level he can get away with. that their party won't notice, won't be hurt by. there won't be consequences! no one will be hurt (except siffrin, but as previously discussed, siffrin does not value themself). the party is going to be watching; their refusal to let siffrin go to dormont alone says as much. and siffrin is not going to start opening up and becoming the coping mechanisms master; their non-mention of the fight with loop (only saying "i said thanks to loop" instead of "loop is me and also tried to kill me") says as much. there's...a long road ahead, that much is clear.

i think siffrin will eventually get better. isafrin only happened because siffrin reached out for isabeau instead of waiting on isa to do it, which i'm interpreting as a very positive sign of sif learning he has to reach out for help to receive it. it's going to be messy. it's going to take a while. but the time will pass anyways. siffrin will eventually get better.

those are just my thoughts as a non-professional. i'd love to hear other people's thinking about siffrin. if you need it, here's tumblrs official mental health resources post with resources sorted by different countries. stay safe and be well, everyone :)

[pttucker]

[I've become the retired SSSSS-grade Son Wukong!!] Haven't I seen that many 'S' letters somewhere before? Even though I knew I was being taken for a ride here, I still tapped on the info tab of this chamber. And that's when I saw its introduction. – Introduction: Only I know the end of the Journey to the West.

Wow, what a totally not at all familiar title and plot.

Oh man, but them saying that they had someone they wanted to play Sun Wukong but he got delayed. 😭

And then the loooong pause after Dokja gives Sooyoung his new Modifier.

Am I reading too much into this or did they totally set this story up in the hopes that Dokja would fill the role that's so obviously his? Is Sooyoung surprised that it's not Dokja? Did her Predictive Plagiarism tell her this was the best way to find him and she's wondering what went wrong? Is the pause because she's upset and trying to decide if they should just go without him?

Or does she know it's Dokja and is wondering if he's lying or if he got a new modifier or is she deciding if she should call him out or just go along with it or...?

Ugh, both her knowing and her not knowing make sense.

It soooo seems like they have to know, though. I mean my goodness if this isn't straight up yelling directly in Dokja's face idk what is:

(This small stone monkey had a nasty habit of sacrificing himself to save other people, and many of those who received his unwanted rescue attempts ended up with psychological scars.) (Gods and Buddhas of the heavens all criticised him for it, yet that dumb rock-for-brains continued to throw his life away to save other people over and over again.) N-no, hang on a minute here. (The heaven's Great Jade Emperor and Buddha felt that they could no longer accept such actions from Sun Wukong anymore and imprisoned the Monkey King inside the stone crate under the Marble Mountain.) (And our story starts from there.)

...especially after Jihye literally said that they should bury him in a coffin and leave him there until the scenarios are over. They may not be able to do it in real life but at least they can play pretend!

But despite those harsh words they're so gentle and caring with him? 😭 Literally Dokja's job is to do nothing but rest and relax and let his companions handle things (for once).

I stepped forward and spoke up. "Both of you, please hide somewhere. I shall handle this." If my memory was working fine, then one of the players took on the role of the 'Tang Sanzang's White Dragon Horse'. I was pretty sure that he was the one behind the current event. Seeing that the kids were participating in this Story chamber, the rest of the players should also be from , but if someone with ill intention had somehow butted in here… "…We told you, you just stay on the bus."

Oh man, look at Dokja immediately going right back into protector mode and even assuming that maybe someone had infiltrated the story. And the sass they give him in return! Saying he can't even afford proper clothes for himself but wants to save them? And Yoosung's scary little smile?

THEY HAVE TO KNOW RIGHT?

Is this their way of showing him that they can handle themselves so please trust them to do so? Maybe some kind of angry "stop treating us like children, we are going to be the ones to save you"? An even angrier "how dare you save us when you can't even take proper care of yourself"?

And maybe also their way of letting him just rest finally? After all, how is Dokja to deny them taking care of him when it's literally the plot of the story they're enacting?

Also there's this weird little exchange:

– This way, he'll trust us more, you dummy. What will you do if he decides to wreak havoc later? I felt goosebumps break out on my skin. – …You're actually scared of him? Look at his current state, will ya?

Why would they assume some random stranger is going to wreck havoc??? In fact, who is the one person they know who regularly wrecks havoc for everyone around him? Also, the whole "look at his current state." Dokja assumes they're just talking about his shabby clothes or something but they're definitely talking about how weak he is right now, right? Like, I don't think Dokja was able to fully recover back at Secretive Plotter's place because last we saw he was only like 38% healed. (Yet another reason for his party to pamper him right now.)

Gilyoung and Yoosung are definitely saying "we can totally take Dokja right now he's so weak, if he starts to act up we'll shove him a box somewhere before he causes his usual mess," right???

Ughhh but everything also makes sense if they don't know.

Sooyoung would know that such a story would (and does) appeal to the Great Sage because he also wants to just have a nice relaxing time where he doesn't have to save anybody and is pampered by this companions. And of course a story mirroring the Demon King of Salvation's story in any way is going to draw attention, both from the Great Sage and the general public, as we literally just saw with both the Earth news and the news here. (And Sangah! Sangah is back!!!!!!!!! We actually get to see her again!!!!! And this is the story she's drawn to!!!!) And Dokja himself points out that by doing all of the work of the story, they'll ensure that Kim Dokja's Company gets all the story shares.

...Actually, you know what, just the fact that those are all Dokja's observations and reasonings makes me 100% believe they absolutely know it's him because Dokja always, always, always does exactly this every single time people try to help him or show that they care for him. He always assumes they have some ulterior motive and that they're doing it for their own gain. He never thinks that people are there for him. He is the most unreliable narrator ever when it comes to his own story.

If Dokja believes they're doing it for themselves then they have to actually be doing it for him.

They MUST know.

[charmixpower]

Rewatching season 1 (and actually paying attention to Sky to figure out what the fuck everyone is talking about): Part 4

EP 16:

Icy what is that demented baby you just made?

Musa is sad :(, I'm taking this one comment as more of a joke than an actual barb

Flora's face I'm screaming

Tecna and Flora know tf is up

FUCK THAT DEMENTED BABY IS CREEPY LOOKING

Ok it's fart less creepy now that's it's evolved

DO A SLUMBER PARTY GIRLS

Musa sees her mother in her dream then calls out for Riven?? Did she see him too?

NEVER MIND THE CREATURE GOT MORE TERRIFYING

Tecna being lost in the Internet/too much data makes so much sense if her magic doesn't function properly bc it's synthetic. Ignore me and my headcanons

The Flora Stan's are winning in this ep

Stella: Maybe Musa can cheer you up! I don't feel so good right now

Bloom: but Stella, at least you know who your parents are

Stella: Yeah, I know who they are, but they don't care much about me. The king and queen of Solaria! But princess Stella? Brought up like a perfect stranger

Everyone: *reacts rightfully horrified*

Stella, realizing she accidentally admitted a negative emotions: Hey! Why all the long faces? I'm way over by now

*Points at Stella* THATS EMOTIONAL NEGLECT

If she was brought up like a perfect stranger that sorta implies that she was raised by strangers, like a revolving door of maids that never stuck around long enough for her to form a connection one

That explains literally all of her attention seeking behaviors, and her tendancy to quickly form intense relationships (one day and she was already ride or die for Bloom)

With the way ONLY her dad shows up to her princess ball, Luna is probably FAR more neglectful than Radius

Stella: the only time they seem to notice me is when I bring home a bad report card

This might be more about Luna than Radius, because he at least shows up to important milestones in her life. He's not good at being there for Stella but he's at least physically present

Stella: so now I get to dream about my parents *shiver*

Bloom: oh poor Stella *laughter*

Odd reaction but this show has never taken Stella's neglect seriously so expected

Flora did her final on this she really should of been able to save her by now

Why the fuck aren't they screaming in terror???? This thing is fucking horrifying

Flora doesn't wanna leave her gf

Musa's powers have a disco theme

She dresses hip-hop, she sings pop, her focus instrument is classical, and her attacks are disco

Musa is a woman of many talents

Icy: I don't know by the looks of things I think you could still beat us, even if your all split up

Is she being sarcastic?? Or sincere??

Good middle of the night Faragona, thank you for FINALLY doing something about these murderous bitches

I love how the whole school is out here sksjfjsn Musa woke them all up

Musa: hi Kiko.... I don't even know what to say except your such a good bunny

I'm crying 💗💓💞💓💘💓💞💓💝💓

Stormy: at least the weather is kinda nice tonight

It's always raining on Stormy's planet, confirmed

"thanks to you I just had the humiliation of being scolded by Griselda"

LMAO GRIFFIN IS SUCH A CHILD THAT SHE GETS SCOLDED BY GRISLEDA I LOVE IT

Shut up, I'm taking custody of Griselda from the writers, she's getting a character arc

I wonder where the Trix are gonna like....live from now??

OH HEY THE NEXT EPISODE IS THE ONE I BARELY PAID ATTENTION TOO YESS

EP 17:

The RF music played and I looked up expecting to see Riven doing something stupid.....that's what the RF theme means to me oml

These mfs are just beating the fuck out of eachother. I mean yeah?? But it's really funny

...d-dragons... You think??? You think because Bloom = Dragon, but not just any Dragon. Dragon god. That she can just??? Control them??????

They're having an exhibition....for their first and second years?????? Shouldn't this be for third and fourth years only?

Well maybe first and second years are excluded, and third, fourth, and fifth can go???? 5 year highschool??

Idfk

Stella: I completely trust our fairy flower child!

If she's letting Flora fuck with her hair then yes she does

"When it comes to your emotions Bloom, your an open book!"

Stella 🤝 Kiko

Call him dammit

If Sky gets replaced with Darcy in CT, he'd still need to be there in CT for the plot to work. Darcy only being able to slide in for the big moment

Still Sky would be confused as fuck

"Simple, their evil they get a kick out of hunting other people."

Propaganda!! Prop-Propaganda!!~

(I love that song)

Oh my god shit dick actually does have a picture of Dia in his room while he's talking to Bloom fkwbdnsjdns

Someone needs a redemption arc!

*re-tools s2 to be about Skloom ""drama"" (not the dumb and nonsensical kind) about him being a cheater trying to redeem himself*

Tbh I'm thinking that Riven and Musa don't go home for the summer so they have time to bond during those months, so I can move them getting together in s2 earlier than the season finale....and move Skloom back from the s1 finale to slightly before the s2 finale??? Bc trust isn't fixed that easily!!! You have to build it up as a friend first!! Then we can think about romance!!!

("what about the trust between Riven and Musa?" You might ask. Darcy is a lot more low key, so Musa never ends up chased and nearly murdered while evil!Riven doesn't do shit lol. That and Musa was one of the few people who realized that Riven wasn't acting like himself...she knew)

All of this while Stella and Brandon get back together at the s1 finale and just watch the shit show.... Brandon being a certified Sky apologist every now and then

Timmy.....knows....

Wait a fucking second, if Timmy knows about Dia he probably knows that Sky and Brandon swapped— TIMMY FUCKING KNEW THE WHOLE TIME?!

"about the girl that I've got to marry, I don't want to, I love Bloom!"

Honestly with the way that Sky dislikes Riven for being a dick to the people around him, and the way he grates against his parents, it absolutely isn't surprising that he doesn't like Diaspro who is 80% classism by volume

He feelings are definitely a little more complicated because they were literally raised together, and that level of having to rely on someone would mix things up, but this isn't surprising

The big problem is being a fucking coward that doesn't want to take responsibility for the bad things he does

Timmy: how about open and honest communication?

Sky: fake my own death, got it

Riven....heard....them talking....and THIS HE DIDN'T SNITCH TO DARCY ABOUT???

Oh my god Riven is such an ineffectual villain it's actually hilarious

Riven lying here like he didn't have a crush on Bloom for the first half of s1....ok

LMAO, several things:

1) Riven is so obviously lying it hurts. Like, Darcy has attempted to kill Bloom and they *go to different schools. Darcy don't know shit about Bloom

2) Riven has been around Bloom before. He knows this is dumb, he's well aware that no one who's meet Bloom before would believe this bullshit

3) Sky is well aware that Riven has a grudge against him and Bloom, and that everything he says will be heavily biased

4) Sky takes this shit PERSONALLY

Riven is terrible at coming up with real things to insult people over, and Sky doesn't understand the concept of not feeding trolls. This amazing

Imagine getting your ass beat by some one that believes in trickle down economics, I would never emotionally recover

Brandon literally dragging Sky off of Riven...... "Dude, we can't get another fuckin mark on our transcript—"

Brandon checking on Sky and Riven 👀

He's such a good guy, but also Brandon will see the most pathetic asshole in the room, sigh, and start dragging them to a better life while working on his apologetics

I'm not wrong!!!!

He does if for Riven both in the beginning of s1 and in s2, and he's always doing it for Sky

Brandon is one of those people who likes poor little meow meows

"you know after you've started dating Darcy, that woman that's attempted to murder us and Bloom multiple times, you've become a real pain"

Oh my god, Brandon is trying to convince Riven he's being manipulated and used... He's the only one here with a fucking brain. Brandon once again up for the "only man ever" award

Ok...points to Griffin for mastering the art of passive aggression, unfortunately Faragona is immune

MUSA'S FLUTE!!! EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SHES SO CUTE!!!!

Bloom is so...idk the word for it, but how adamant she is about breaking and entering is weird

The girls are like, fine, well help you break and enter

3d animation nfnendnsns ah

I know Erendor is supposed to be taller than Samara, but that's objectively wrong. Samara IS much taller than her manlit of a husband

I can't explain, she has the vibes of a tall person, and he has the ones of a short person

Diaspro looks like she's talking to that hologram of Sky...like a phone call. That's definitely unintentional

Dia is so fucking pretty, like goddamn, she's pretty

"And I absolutely forbid you form looking at my boyfriend."

Ok....excuse me Diaspro but wasnt the whole point that Sky and Brandon were told to switch identities because assassin??? We're you not informed of this??? Are you not putting his life in jeopardy by walking around with a picture of Sky and openly calling him your boyfriend???? Do you just not care??? None of this makes any sense love ❤️

"Honey? Are you listening to me?" UM. FUCKING WHAT??

THAT WAS A PHONE CALL?????

Are you telling me that Sky put it on mute and stood stock still so Bloom would assume he was just a picture??? AND IT WORKED?????

OH MY GOD

I had to take a break to stop laughing oh my fucking god these idiots

Bloom: Sky is a cheater?

Bloom: no! It's Darcy

I just—does Bloom not see her walking with royalty and official guards? Darcy would have to try REALLY HARD, to trick them. Just saying

Stella bragging about Brandon to the annoyance of Musa and Tecna my beloved

"There the richest royals in the whole dimension!"

Eraklyon is space Britain/Usa confirmed, with all the baggage that comes with that

"I still don't know if your heart beats more for your good looking prince, or the cash he's got"

Musa taking offense, for obvious (and kinda rightful) reasons

"Beauty is wasted If not surrounded by beautiful things!"

She take my money~ when I'm in neeeddd~

Diaspro is so fucking pretty I cannot get over how pretty she is, like goddamn

Diaspro just believes this random ass girl.....ok

God Dia looks good as hell with her cape

Fuck I'm sorry, I cannot shut up about how pretty she is

Why do one of the guards get to sit down

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IM LOSING MY MIND LOOK AT HER FACE

Bloom just knocks this man tf out

......Bloom is so steadfast in her convictions. Low self esteem in herself but a lot of confidence in her actions

BLOOM JUST FUCKING ATTACKED DIA NOOOOOOOO

DIA IS A BITCH BUT SHE WAS LITERALLY JUST STANDING THERE AND YOU NEARLY SET HER ON FIRE

Oh my god Dia is so classicist, she does need a good fight but not like this girlie, please

Timmy: please don't kill eachother in front of the audience

The dragons in this show never look how you expect dragons to look. Bitch that is a hydra with one head, I cannot explain

Why are they color coded

Omg I love my girls they're so fucking nosey. They won't even fly up do they can each see at once

Diaspro's transformation is very low key compared to her personality

She's looks so angry with this beautiful music, they don't understand Dia at all

Bloom: you know when Darcy transformed into Stella she couldn't change the color of her magic and she couldn't transformation

Bloom, watching Dia transform: obviously she just got better at it

Wouldn't it be fucked up if Bloom realized in that moment they Dia was, quite obviously, not Darcy but whoops now Dia is pissed and wants blood

Diaspro said FUCK MAGIC, ran up to Bloom and fucking grabbed her omg I love it here

Actually this spell Diaspro is using looks a lot like how Darcy kept Stella constrained......and Dia's magic seems to be purple. That would explain why Bloom doesn't realize

Ok but Diaspro is really not keeping this lie up at all

I think Dia's transformation is a little too close to her civilian form... Slight redesign might be necessary

Shouldn't the king and Queen be looking for Dia at this point

This is the only episode that understands that Sky and Riven are as petty as eachother

Riven says fuck it, imma get expelled. Ok this has got to be Darcy poking at him

These Dragons are like robots with Wii motion controls, I'm laughing incessantly

How the fuck did Dia and Bloom make it under the fucking arena????? Did they go down the stairs?? I'm crying

Riven: oh fuck yeah, a distraction

Sky: oh fuck no, the consequences of my actions

It looks like Dia has the twin ponytails that Musa has in her s4 fruity music bar look

"Goodness! This girl is nuts"

Tru, in all fairness, your also nuts

Brandon, watching this: ohhhhh, Sky is fucked

Sky is just standing there slack jawed as everything goes to shit is really funny

Diaspro really doesn't know that Sky and Brandon switched names?????? Did no one fucking tell her???? What the fuck is going on????

Sky walks past Dia and she looks so fucking upset, omg

Bloom just kinda collapses...

*Picks up Sky and shakes him around* I have a new pet meow meow, I can't believe there was another one right in front of my eyes and I never noticed

I stg the show says that it was the king and queen that set up the name change, but no one in this episode gives a flying fuck about keeping the ruse up

Brandon: you see what I mean when I say that your stupid shit gets ME in hot water

Riven probably has popcorn at this point

Stella is MADDDDD

Bro she's fucking growling

Bloom gets sad but Stella gets angry

Idk why s4 thinks Stella is slow to fight or doesn't get pissed. Yes she prefers to hide her negative emotions behind laugher and joy, but girl does anger hard when she feels like it

What do you mean when Sky needed help? You mean the Riven bullshit?

Brandon forgets that not everyone knows that Riven is pretty harmless

Stella: sooooo~ who's going to help me plan murder~

Musa: me!!! Me!!!!

Tecna: I already have a place to hide the bodies

Flora: no silly, let's just feed them to my plants 💚

EP 18:

"the one sure thing in her life wasn't real"

Don't fucking diss Stella like that

You think Stella has a revenge dress? Like?? It's fashion and spiteful. Not on the level of like what spawned the concept, but Stella would absolutely use clothes to make a point

It can be only boy shit that making her leave, probably the public embarrassment too

Stella is so angry on Bloom's behalf

Stella is either sad AF or angry AF and there is no in-between

Bloom wouldn't give up her dream that easily, but she'd absolutely make a split second decision to run away

I think transforming and magic in general has to take fuck ton of energy, bc that's the only reason these characters avoid it so hard. I need to see them losing magic in the middle of a fight to properly sell it tho

I can't believe she'd give up her friends over some fuck ass boy

BLOOM CAN TELEPORT?!

"You've made your choice and we respect your decision" everyone shut the fuck up I love Mike so goddamn much, he's a fucking dad y'all

Bloom should totally set her on fire

Bloom dress landscapes!!!!

Fragona acting like it's everyone's personal business what Bloom does. Like I know that she knows that Bloom is the main character, but no one else does bestie

Stella: then I'm going to bring her back!

Icy: she doesn't belong at Alfea, but she doesn't belong here either

Icy explaining the Domino plot before it even happens

Bloom channeling her inner chaos gremlin

The Trix attacked her parents. God this has got to be in the top ten most traumatizing things that has happened to Bloom. Period. End stament.

At this point, Bloom should be able to EASILY take Knut. Oh she did... Why didn't the Trix expect that

Do you think the earth people notice this?

That has got to be Darcy's powers....the vortex her parents are thrown into

Icy explaining everything...and for what? Actually, I think Icy just likes monologuing. She loves that energy

You know? After emotionally torturing her and nearly killing her parents....then repeatedly attacking her while she's down. I don't think any other villain would even approach the level of hatred and fear Bloom feels for the Trix in this moment. I think Valtor would come the closest (blinding Aisha for the fear, killing Daphne for the hatred), but it would be a little damped because that's the third time something like this has happened and this is the first so it would be more raw

Holy shit Bloom has been beaten unconscious and Icy is fucking grabbing at her, this is so creepy (but like in a good way that brings me into the story)

Icy is definitely a little obessed with Bloom and that makes their nemesis status so much scarier. Imagine the person that nearly killed you and your parents being obsessed with you???

Valtor's terrifying stalker connection with Bloom has nothing on Icy's obsession

Bloom goes though the batter with a new stalker every year in s1-3

Hyper empathy is annoying bc a children's show with the worlds worst writing will make me start crying

I cannot help myself!!! What the Trix (esp Icy) is doing to Bloom is just so awful, I need Bloom to get a hug stat

Ahhhh this is such good villain writing, I love the Trix as villains rn, and I also want to see Bloom get bloody revenge

Ok but Bloom having her powers physically ripped out her body must of been so painful

Top 5 most traumatizing days for Bloom right here

Bloomy ;-;

Ok but I am genuinely crying and it is very annoying, why am I like thisssss

EP 19:

They only took part of Bloom's power right? Bc Bloom can get back into Alfea

I love it when Flora has grumpy faces

Grisleda mind your fucking business

🥺 Grisleda being naturally scary but not intending to scare the girls 🥺🥺🥺 she made Bloom tea

This is the only version of Griselda, I have a character arc planned

Fragona: no I know

The LOOK Girselda gives Faragona when she admits that she's been a fucking lying liar to Bloom is impeccable

Grisleda is NOT impressed

Bloom is actually going to attack Fragona and I'm p sure Grisleda would let her

Faragona: OHHHHH, I've done fucked up

Fixing Griffins personality so she's an adult has to be one the first things I do jfc

Stormy is so fucking over board with her attacks. She's such an amazing villain, out of all of them she's the one I love to watch/hate the most. I root for her defeat and have fun watching her have fun and the same time

(OMG KAREN!! ONE OF MY FAVORITE WITCHES!!! 23:40!!! MY GIRL!!!)

Wait if Stormy = chaotic evil

Then does?

Icy = lawful evil

Darcy = neutral evil

Or

Icy = neutral evil

Darcy = lawful evil

????

I lean more towards the first one

Stormy is truly the best pure evil villain in this show. Icy is better for plot reasons, but Stormy's fun is just so contagious it's just fun to watch her

Griffin flinched away from the Trix after they threatened her students......Grisleda would never, anyways

Darcy is the one taking care of the army of decay....ok but what if Griffin is telling the truth, no one CAN control the army. It ends up controlling you. The Trix are blinded by hubris or something, and they were defeated before this could happen to them

Faragona: instead of sending a magic camera to CT, let's just wait

Sky repeatedly calling Bloom.....

It's dedicated at least, he could learn to read the room tho

THE ONE TIME RIVEN CHOOSES NOT TO JUST CONTACT DARCY MENTALLY

Tbh the show should of leaned into the Sky Riven rivalry to highlight how similar they are before the cheating this as like a little early warning system

Doesn't Riven know that the Trix have been kicked out

Riven is so loud, and agressive, motherfucker they have magic. Lighting hurts. Cool your jets

Riven: Attacking and nearly killing people is fine, but I draw the line at sitting on a teacher's desk

I think this is the only time Stormy does the nail slice thing and it's on Riven....they had to be some kind of friends while Riven was unaware

"you were fundamental to our success!" He was?

Did Darcy literally summon him here just so they could mock him and throw him into a dungeon??

Riven really thinks he can fight someone with magic

I'd decribe Darcy more as a spider than a snake

Disbursal magic like Musa's wouldn't be that effective, but incineration like Bloom and Stella would be

But, they'd have to be separated before they could be incinerated

That is all

Oh god thoese things are covering the school quickly..... They're not big enough to really hurt yet but that must be terrifying for the freshmen

Those fuckers definitely nearly killed someone, hopefully everyone could transform :(

"I'll teach you that next year" ok but Palladium my beloved????

FARAGONA WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN YOUR OFFICE

Cutting them apart should not do much of anything. You'd need to disintegrate the smaller ones

Her hair

How the fuck with Diaspro know that shit is going down at RF? If she does, them why aren't more planets reacting to this??? You'd think Solaria, and more, would send people to save their princes and princesses??? Right???

Was Dia just sticking around after everything to demand answers from Sky?

Dia really said "don't be silly, your a prince. Let these peasants fight for you!" Like she doesn't live in the magical dimension

Diaspro just glares and leaves hmm

Anyways why isn't the whole magical dimension reacting to this? The Trix must of done something to outer planet communication right?

They'd probably attack the magical cell towers and electricity plants to stop people from escaping

Teleportation is a high level skill and they're had to be a military on magix's but they're probably more concerned with saving the city that the Trix are also attacking than the schools

OH!!

Unless the Trix isolate the magical schools???

EP 20:

They should really plan to consolidate troops

Knut: this is no place for us anymore

.....and what, pray tell, made you finally realize that?

Darcy would absolutely treat the army of bugs like her children

Why is Fragona not addressing the whole school?

"and that makes them utterly invincible!"

Bloom defeats Icy with only her magic Winx. She gets Enchantix later. Icy technically isn't that strong rn

This could be adequately addressed by each of the Trix needing multiple people to take them done (one taking on the full Winx club + Griselda, one being taken on by Griffin + Faragona + Saladin, ect) something like that

Fragonda is just guessing at this point

Important question, but why aren't they consolidating power between schools? RF and Alfea should be moving together rn

Bloom must be having an emotional moment here on Domino

Bloom hugging Tecna, "oh Tecna your so great", we love it

Are the Trix fucking with the girls on Domino??

Knut...how are you just realizing this

These schools have barely any students, these are some tiny ass schools

My favorite part about Winx is that it's actually hard to do spot the main character bc all of the background characters look weird as fuck too

Brandon looks a bit like an extra compared to most of these guys

Why doesn't Knut work at RF if that was the first place he thought to go

Why didn't they bring out the dragons sooner....why were the dragons just left in there

Icy made a ice dragon....dragon fire maybe doesn't inherently mean fire powers?

These girls will do anything before transformation

omg little heart shapes!!!!

[tyrannuspitch]

#he is the only king among slaves and the only slave among kings

yesss exactly!!

the ableist undertones are such an interesting point... i'm always saying that loki has jester vibes, and that's partly about the role he plays (companion, entertainer, magician, trickster) but it's also about like... othering? jesters are outsiders, they don't play by the usual (social) rules, they're frequently mocked (both as in self-deprecation being rewarded and as in just having to put up with awful treatment)... and as a group they have a massive overlap with "freaks".

and i mean... obviously the alien dwarfism(?) situation specifically has the same paradox as the space racism, because you wouldn't know loki was small if you didn't know he was jotun, much less small enough to be a victim of child exposure... but there's still somehow this ever-present undertone of everyone seeing loki as a weakling. and sure, it could be about other things too (gender, mental health, competition with thor) but it's still kind of maddening because it's both not true at all (he's a highly skilled elite warrior) and literally true (he does have a major but currently-invisible disability, but how did you know?)

(maybe they're picking up on odin and frigga's attitudes towards him; maybe whatever's up with loki physically is not asymptomatic even if you don't have the context to see how small he is; maybe it's just really unfortunate thematic resonance throughout his myth of a life. maybe all of the above. whichever is true, he's still the strongest of the weak and the weakest of the strong.)

and disability also interacts with space racism in a really fucked-up way because like, loki is doubly "monstrous", an outcast from the outcasts, but that can actually bring him back into the asgardian fold because where else does he have to turn? if odin had to save him from his home-world and birth parents by bringing him to a world that might well kill him on sight if it ever actually saw him, then loki has every reason to fear that odin and frigga (parents and asgardians) will try to kill him too and yet they're the only ones who have ever known who he is and shown him mercy. they've betrayed him so fundamentally and yet they might be the most trustworthy people in his life, not because they are trustworthy but because there's just. nothing else.

(and also, of course, the sense of debt... and ownership. they saved your life [kept you from dying] so you owe them your life [a lifetime of service and a useful death]. you were given up as useless and therefore unworthy of life, but they found a use for you, and you should be grateful for that, you should be begging for the chance to be useful. they decided to keep a "monster" in the world, and so it's their right and responsibility to control it.)

(AND there's the fact that loki's disability literally, physically makes him look more asgardian. a key part of what allows him to survive among asgardians IS his "weakness", because if he were any less vulnerable the threat of his "monsterhood" would be overwhelming. odin took the smallest of the giants, an abandoned, disabled infant, and chose to make that one into his pawn. there's no way that's a coincidence. imagining for a second that laufey might have abandoned an abled son... would odin have saved that child? even if he had, i honestly think he might have stunted his growth himself.)

sorry this reply is absolutely all over the place. casually losing my mind in your notes. but god it's just so much. sooo many different entangled power dynamics, all leading back to the same place: the servant-prince trying desperately to serve his purpose, and to convince himself that's power. [head in hands] [screams]

it also really frustrates me sometimes when i want to talk about One Specific Aspect of loki's whole deal but i can't find a more specific word for it than "power" or "hierarchy".

like, it *is* about space racism, but for the vast majority of his life he and most of the people around him didn't *know* that. and it *is* about class/rank... kind of...? but in a weird paradoxical way where he's still nominally a prince, and maybe he's arguably being treated like a servant but even if he is he's a pretty high-ranking servant, used for politics rather than manual labour... but also at the same time, as a jotun he's lowlier than anyone on asgard and the only one (that we know of) who might actually be better described as a slave than a servant, because if he was "stolen" then he is property... and none of it's really summarisable in any particular way because this has always just expressed itself as people being Weird About Loki in particular. like there is SO much secrecy and hypocrisy surrounding this power dynamic that odin has had to make loki into his own unique personal category of disempowered outsider. but also. maybe that's just what a combination of domestic and peer abuse looks like. but it's still hardly a typical relationship when your household and its power dynamics envelop the whole kingdom because your father is THE ALLFATHER. hhhhhhhhhh

[nikkoliferous]

"Loki brought it all on himself"

Ok, we need to talk about this frequent claim that Loki deserves all the bad things that have ever happened to him.

Firstly, let's just get this out of the way. The amount of gaslight in the assertion that Loki “broke his family's trust” is unbelievable. As in, I literally cannot believe there are people who genuinely think this. They turn canon completely on its head. Loki's family betrayed his trust—by kidnapping him as an infant, lying to him for his entire life, raising him to despise the Jötnar while knowing that he was actually one of them, and chronically mistreating him—long before he took on any villainous behaviour. Loki’s story is very much one of what can happen when you push even a good person too damn far.

The worst thing Loki can be accused of having done prior to the complete mental collapse he suffers upon learning his life has been a lie, is letting a handful of Frost Giants into Asgard to crash Thor's coronation. He does this partly—in his own words, and he has no reason to lie about this to Laufey of all people—to protect the kingdom from Thor's foolishness and immaturity. And he is not alone in his belief that Thor is not ready to be ruler of Asgard. Odin himself, in a scene that did not make it into the film, expresses doubt about this, and Frigga, interestingly enough, reassures him by reminding him that Loki will be by Thor's side to counsel him and, for lack of better phrasing, keep him from doing too much damage.

So I think we can dismiss that action as a "betrayal" of his family's trust—and even if one does want to consider this a betrayal, it certainly isn't one on a scale that merits spending thousands of years enduring psychological torture (which is what solitary confinement is).

Another assertion frequently made is that Loki manipulates Thor into going to Jötunheim to confront Laufey. Loki most definitely manipulates Thor—but at no point does he suggest doing that. Thor comes up with that harebrained scheme all on his own. The most Loki does is attempt to manipulate the rift between Thor and Odin by playing into Thor's sense of righteous anger and his resentment at being shut down. Not only does Loki not suggest at any point that they should confront Laufey, but he actively takes steps to prevent them from reaching Jötunheim. He tries to talk Thor out of going; he orders a guard to inform Odin of their plans, expecting they'll be intercepted in time; he takes the initiative to speak for them to Heimdall, very likely because he knows Heimdall dislikes/distrusts him. And after all of that fails, he attempts to talk Thor down from starting a war once they're standing in Laufey's court. Interestingly enough, I never see anyone claim that Thor betrays his family's trust by reigniting a war with the Frost Giants, endangering the lives of his family, his friends, and his would-be subjects. It's almost like all the accusations of betrayal that people level at Loki aren't based on any sort of objectivity or moral high ground at all and are merely rationalizations by people working backwards from the conclusion that Loki is “evil”, simply because the narrative has framed him as a villain.

We also need to reckon with the fact that Loki did not "steal" the throne. Thor was stripped of his power and banished to Earth (which was not Loki's doing) when Odin fell into the Odinsleep (also not Loki’s doing). After Thor, Loki is next in line for the throne. That's literally just how the royal line of succession works. With both Odin and Thor incapacitated in one way or another, the responsibility of ruling falls legitimately to Loki. Frigga herself names him regent-king. Loki neither banishes Thor from Asgard nor forces Odin to go napnap, nor indeed does he even attempt to manipulate Frigga to pass the role of regent onto him—if anything, he’s shocked when she does so; therefore, it is completely unreasonable to accuse him of having "usurped" anything.

It’s equally unreasonable to claim that Loki “arranged for” Thor’s banishment, yet I see people say the same time and time again. Let us just recall that 1) Loki attempts to intervene when the fight between Thor and Odin begins to escalate

and 2) This is Loki’s face upon Odin’s inexplicably extreme punishment.

Look, I know Loki is known as being a liar, but if you think his shock here isn’t genuine, I have some oceanfront property in Arizona to sell you.

Now, I could stop right here because the claim is that Loki betrayed his family’s trust first and thus brought everything on himself. And as I’ve clearly demonstrated, any villainous actions Loki takes, be they in the first Thor film or thereafter, come after learning the truth (aka having his trust broken by his family). But because I know how much people love to move the goalpost when it comes to Loki, let’s just go on to address why none of his actions are truly villainous in the classic sense of the word.

Every wrongful action Loki takes in this film, outside of the aforementioned interference with Thor’s coronation (which we’ve already established may have been ill-conceived but certainly was not a “betrayal”) is a reaction to various betrayals against him or a result of paranoia fueled by a complete emotional collapse.

“Trying to kill” Heimdall is not a betrayal because Loki is defending himself from Heimdall who is attempting to commit regicide. (Also, if Loki had wanted Heimdall dead, he would be. The fact that he’s not, is a demonstration of Loki’s benevolence, not his ruthlessness).

Lying to Thor about Odin being dead is cruel, but it’s not borne of a desire to hurt Thor. Both the lie and, later, sending the Destroyer are borne of desperation, because as Tom himself has stated, Loki believed Thor would kill him if he made it back to Asgard and learned the truth. This is a moment that, if there were any justice in the MCU, ought to have haunted Thor for the rest of his life:

That’s one Jötun who definitely fears him.

This goes far beyond the claim that he betrayed his family, but I’ll address it anyway: tricking the Frost Giants by inviting them into the palace under false pretenses is not a betrayal because there is no established relationship of trust between Loki and the Jötnar. You can’t betray a trust that doesn’t exist.

And attempted genocide is definitely not a betrayal of his family’s trust because genocide is literally what this family does. Genocide is their entire legacy. Despite claims to the contrary, this was an established fact well before Ragnarok. (”So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?” “I went down to Midgard to rule the people of Earth as a benevolent god, just like you.” “[What of the lives you took on Earth?] A mere handful compared to the number Odin has taken himself”). If anything, trying to destroy Jötunheim was an attempt to live up to the family name. It was misguided and wrong, but it was in no way out of line with what Loki and Thor were raised to do. Asgard is a warrior culture; killing their enemies is not perceived as immoral, but honourable. In fact, one of the reasons Loki’s actions were likely seen as dishonourable is because he used the power of the Bifröst rather than engaging the Jötnar in direct warfare. (Though it is possible, given the state of Svartalfheim, that this was also done in the past to wipe out the Dark Elves). But what was it that Odin said when he was yelling at Thor in the Observatory prior to banishing him?

Odin: “Do you realise what you’ve done? What you’ve started?”

Thor: “I was protecting my home!”

Odin: “You cannot even protect your friends! How can you hope to protect a kingdom?”

At no point does Odin state that killing the Jötnar is wrong. But he does criticize Thor for putting his friends in danger by going to confront Laufey. (This is still not the catalyst for Thor’s banishment. That comes later, when Thor calls Odin “an old man and a fool”). Loki, however, conveniently knows a way to destroy the Jötnar without risking any Asgardian lives. And since a condemnation of killing their enemies is not a part of Odin’s diatribe, he has no reason to believe that Odin disapproved of that part of Thor’s misbehaviour. So now he can say, “Look, Father. I did what Thor couldn’t!”

Thor: “Why have you done this?”

Loki: “To prove to Father that I am a worthy son. When he awakens, I will have saved his life. I will have destroyed that race of monsters and I will be true heir to the throne.”

Only, as we all know, it's in vain.

There’s only one moment in the entirety of the first Thor film that I would class as a genuine betrayal of his family’s trust, and that is that he puts both Frigga and Odin in harm’s way when he invites Laufey into Asgard under the false pretense of allowing him to slay Odin in his sleep. This was very short-sighted of him; what if he’d been too late and his scheme had gotten Frigga killed before he’d arrived to intervene? Betraying his family was not his intent here, but in his highly emotional state of mind, he did endanger them needlessly— much like Thor needlessly endangered his friends and his brother by going to Jötunheim and starting this whole mess to begin with. (However, I never see fans criticise Thor for this. And they should. My point here is not that Loki should not be criticised for endangering his family, but that there needs to be consistency. If you’re going to call out Loki for endangering his loved ones, you need to call out Thor as well. If you’re going to call out Loki for mass slaughter, you need to call out Thor as well).

In short, I think my favourite thing about the vast majority of Loki antis is their blatant disdain and lack of empathy for the mentally ill and the abused. And by ‘favourite thing’, I of course mean that it disgusts me.

(Tagging @magicmastered​ and @just-another-human-2019​ because you both expressed interest in the post 😘)

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Breath of Fire 4

After completing Breath of Fire 3, my son insisted we do Breath of Fire 4. I'm glad we're playing this cause I've forgotten most of it...

Final Fantasy 7 is still my favorite JRPG, but Breath of Fire 3 is very close in terms of nostalgia. I enjoyed the mix of 3D environments with hand drawn elements, the music is great, the characters are good, and for the most part, the story is quite enjoyable. So I was super excited to play Breath of Fire 4 back in the day.

I remember the primary plot of a Dragon God separate into halves, and emerging after different times. And in a sense, each half experiences a different side of humanity, leading them to have opposite perspectives on whether or not humans are worthy of continued existence.

Maybe I'm way off.

Whatever the reason, it just didn't stick in my head as well as BoF3. So I'm happy to re-explore:

First off, as soon as the game starts it just feels better than BoF3. The characters have a little more detail, and a more serious style to their art. It's still cartoony, but it's like Disney's Pocahontas film vs the Aladdin TV show. The colors are also more muted, which gives it a more somber tone than BoF3's brightly colored sprites.

Also, the 3D environments are much improved. You start on a sandflier (which is badass), and it's a well modeled and textured 3D asset for the PS1. Not just a series of blocks like every environment and object in BoF3. So it makes the production value of 4 feel leagues ahead of 3.

It's interesting that you don't start as Ryu. Instead, you mostly control Nina in the beginning. It's currently her quest to save her sister we're following. So it almost feels like she's the main character.

Anyway: PLOT SUMMARY!

Princess Nina and Rei rip-off Cray are traveling through the desert looking for clues to Nina's missing sister, Elina. They're attacked by a sand dragon and crash. Cray offers to stay with the sandflier while Nina goes for parts.

She discovers a crater and a dragon inside. The dragon fades a way and a naked man stands before her: Ryu. Nina takes him along to see if they can find out where he's from, cause as of now, he has no memory.

At the town, no one knows Ryu, but we get information about a man we have to bribe for information. He then tells us about black market. We get the password and get in, only to learn they don't have parts: they repair parts. So now we have to go to the Sandflier Graveyard.

This little town is cute, but crowded. I'm not sure why, but the designers made it like a maze, which makes it challenging to navigate and easy to lose your way. But this game also offers a 360 camera in many parts (unlike BoF3 that was fixed at one angle). Maybe they designed it this way to force the player to use the angle-change, teaching them a valuable skill to succeed in the game.

There's some simple puzzles at the graveyard and then we're introduced to a cute mini-game: using a dog to sniff out treasure (and parts). With the parts claimed we head back to town.

The battle system feels fresher than BoF4. For one, the characters actually make contact with the targets, instead of just swinging their weapons in place like Final Fantasy 1. There's also many more frames of animation. Just all around feels better!

I like that Nina has become the healer. In BoF3, Ryu is the first healer, and then other characters get some crossover healing spells. Given that Ryu also has a strong attack, and a dragon form, it seemed weird that he should be a healer as well. Though, I do miss Nina's powerful spells. Ah well, she's still under level 10...

At some point, we cut to a temple in the forest to see Fou Lu emerge. He used to be an emperor and expects to be greeted by his loyal subjects. Instead, soldiers and their general confront and attack him. Looks like they got used to him not being around. Fou Lu gains strength from water, so is weak to fire. It appears he is defeated on a bridge, but we know better--don't we...

Back in town, Nina and Ryu plan to get their parts fixed (weird phrasing...sorry). Instead, imperial soldiers are bullying the locals. Nina steps in and stands her ground, the war is over: she says. No, the Imperial replies, it's just a cease fire. Now they want to capture her. When things escalate, Ryu breaks the King's Sword against a captain's face. The two flee the city.

On their way back to Cray, they are cutoff by soldiers, but clued into an alternate route as suggested by the man they helped in town. This route takes them to the hexed town of Chamba. When I played this as a kid, I thought it was neat how they treated Hexes, but now i feel this was an exploration of the devastating nuclear attacks the US used on Japan. Very clever.

There's a company of folks trying to clear the Hex, but it'll take years. They refuse to escort Nina and Ryu, but then Ershin shows up. It's a robot that looks like a Trashcan Knight. Anyway, Ershin is a person inside this walking bin, and offers to escort Nina and Ryu.

The three head into town and roam across the rooftops, avoiding the toxic mist. They reflect on how horrible the hexing of cities was during the war, and lament the tragedy.

Strangely, this section of the game really stuck with me from middle school. I think my friend started a new game and played past where I was, reaching this part. Something about it just stuck, and when I think of Breath of Fire 4, I always think of Ershin in Chamba.

Escaping the town, we make it back to Cray. We can't fix the sandflier, and there's no point in staying. For whatever reason, we think heading north will lead us closer to Elina. Ershin seems to be aware of Ryu's importance and says she'll go where he does. He decides to go with Nina.

While camping, they have a shared dream that they're breaking into an imperial facility to find Elina. I know what happens to Elina and I'm not sure my son is prepared for it.

It's only a game...

On our way North, we come to a Dam. My son likes Dams, so he's excited. We learn there's a dragon in the water, scaring folks away. Used to, the dragon avoided the damn, but now it's being a dick. We solve some simple puzzles and get across, but then the dragon sends in a flood and everyone flees. We barely escape.

Later, we come to a cliff overlooking the ocean and a water dragon appears. The group thinks it's the same dragon that flooded the damn, but it doesn't seem to want to attack. An old lady with a twangy instrument tells us that the dragons have a profound effect on the world. It's mysterious and the group leaves. The lady mentions to herself that a dragon walks among the group.

It's Ryu. He's a dragon. Four games in, he's always the dragon.

I don't remember much of the details from this game, so I'm excited to relearn them with my son. I'm letting him play more of the game now. It's better designed (I think), so should be less stressful than BoF3. Still, he's struggling with the awkward controls.

Now that we have 4 party members, we've started using the row-switching. It's neat, the whole team technically enters a battle, but only the three on the front row and commit action. You can pick any three to perform actions that round, and the game sort of figures out who's in battle, and who's in the back row. It's a clever system that removes the annoyance of having to choose what party members to use in a dungeon. Something that Final Fantasy X tried to do as well. I think Dragon Quest 11 also uses this...

We're having fun, and we've not cheated yet! (Except we use Save States, cause duh!)

[spies-r-us]

Predictions for the final episodes of Game of Thrones.

Tyrion sells out Daenerys

After rewatching episode 7.06 "Beyond the Wall," Tyrion and Daenerys have a discussion about the line of succession should Dany die. First, I think this is a foreshadow that she won't survive the series. He finds out that Cersei is pregnant in the next episode 7.07 "The Dragon and the Wolf" and then is caught by the camera staring after Jon disappearing into Dany's room. I think he promised Cersei something in order to get her agreement (he was unaware of Cersei's true intentions at that point). I think he promised Cersei her child would rule after Daenerys.

Political!Jon is alive

In 7.06, Jon and Tormund have a conversation about being too proud to bend the knee and how, if Mance Rayder hadn't been so proud, a whole lot of people wouldn't have died. The very same episode, Jon bends the knee. He's played political!Jon before, when he was in Mance Rayder's camp. I think this episode reminded him of that time. He is playing Dany to get her help saving his people.

Daenerys's jealousy rears its ugly head

Daenerys tries to burn Sansa, and Jon grieves her, only to find out it was Alys Karstark. Why else have a Sansa lookalike in every scene? From the back, you can't even tell a difference.

Arya's dagger is what kills the Night King.

The catspaw dagger was shown in a book Samwell was reading when he stole some books from the restricted section at the Citadel in episode 7.01 Dragonstone." He had just read a section on using dragonglass in weaponry, turned the page and we got a glimpse of Arya's dagger. It has more importance than we've previously been led to believe, though it's been around since season 1, so we should know it's important. It's also Valyrian steel with a dragonglass pommel, doubly important.

Sansa is named Queen in the North

She's the only one who cares about the common people, making sure they're fed and make it into the castle before shutting the gates. She hasn't hidden her hope for an independent North and fights for that and her people.

Theon sacrifices himself

Dying a hero would definitely be a good end to a character arc. What better way to die a hero than by sacrificing himself for the brother he betrayed? He stole the castle from Bran; let him die defending them both.

Dany loses a battle against Jon

This results in her braids being cutoff (I think theres a reason Emilia died her hair Daenerys blonde/white and cut it short, especially since she didn't keep it blonde for long) and the Dothraki switching sides (they follow the strongest, as explained many times over the years). He (and/or the Starks) already has the support of the Vale, the North, the last remaining Tyrell/Tarly of the Reach, the last living Baratheon of the Stormlands, Theon Greyjoy of the Iron Islands, Jaime and (I suspect by the end of it) Tyrion of the Westerlands, and the wildlings. I'm not sure who rules Dorne now, but the Crownlands would probably flock to them once Cersei is gone and Edmure Tully, once he gets the Riverlands back when Cersei falls, would definitely support his sister's family.

Everyone finds love

Of course, I have my ships, which include Gendry/Arya (so glad that came true last episode 8.02 "A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms"), Jon/Sansa, and Brienne/Jaime or Brienne/Tormund. Hell, I'd even take Brienne/Sandor. I just want my girl, Ser Brienne of Tarth, a knight of the Seven Kingdoms, to be happy.

Jon doesn't burn

I think Dany tries to eliminate her competition but, like her, Jon doesn't burn.

Bran fucks with time again

Bran does some more weird time-fuck and "creates" the new gods (the seven).

Smith: Gendry--obviously, unless they're going to bring Tobho Mott back for like two episodes

Warrior: this could be any number of people, but most likely Jon, Tormund, Jorah, Theon, or Sandor

Mother: Daenerys--she already has the titles Mother of Dragons and Mhysa, it just makes sense

Maiden: Brienne--that whole "Bear and the Maiden Fair" thing when she was held by the Boltons

Father: Jaime--his parentage has been an important plot point throughout the series

Stranger: Arya--she's the only one who could do this, unless they bring back Jaqen (please bring back Jaqen, only because I love that character)

Crone: Melisandre--what was the point in showing us her old, wrinkly ass if it wasn't going to come back?

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: Thor: The Dark World

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where We're Continuing Our Look At The Marvel Cinematic Universe....

Where Today We're Looking At The Second Outing With The God Of Thunder, With Thor: The Dark World...

This Film Sees Thor Teaming Up With His Evil Brother, Loki To Save Both The Nine Realms And Jane Foster From The Grip Of Malekith (Played By The Ninth Doctor)

And His Dark Elves Who Intend To Use A Weapon Called The Aether (Or To Put It Bluntly The Reality Stone) To Plunge The Universe Into Eternal Darkness, Will The Two Feuding Brothers Be Able To Work Together To Stop This Evil, Or Will Loki Turn On His Brother And Side With Malekith?

Let's Find Out As We Watch Thor: The Dark World...

We Start Our Film With Another Introduction From Odin...

(Start At 0:32)

Starting Shortly After The End Of The Avengers, We See Loki Arriving In Odin's Chambers Where He Sentences Him To Spend The Rest Of His Days In The Dungeons Of Asgard...

Meanwhile On The Planet Of Anaheim (Correction: Vanaheim, The Warriors Three And Sif Fight To Restore Order To The Planet But The Odds Soon Change When Thor Arrives...

(Start At 2:58, End At 4:53)

That's Zachary Levi By The Way, Replacing Josh Dallas As Fandral...

So, In Other Words They Replaced Prince Charming With Flynn Ryder...

Deciding To Stay To Help His Homeworld Rebuild, Thor Says Goodbye To Hogun As Him, The Other Warriors And Sif, Return To Asgard...

Thanking Thor For Returning Order To The Nine Realms, Odin Still Senses That Thor Has Feelings For Jane Foster, Simply Telling Him That She's Just A Human And He Should Look At What's In Front Of Him (Meaning Sif) And That He Should Revel In Their Victory...

But Despite Seeing His Friends Celebrate And Trying A Go At A Possible Relationship With Sif, Thor Still Can't Move On From Jane Even Though She's Already Moved On With The Cop From Bridesmaids...

However, Their Date Is Interrupted By Jane's Assistant, Darcy, Shows Her Some Readings That Is Coming From One Of Her Scientific Devices As Darcy Believes It To Be The Same Readings That Erik Selvig Discovered Weeks Ago Before Being Locked In A Mental Asylum...

But Despite Telling Darcy That She's Not Interested And To Beat It, Bridesmaids Tells Her To Go After Her And So, Jane Does...

Getting In Darcy's Car, Jane Meets Darcy's Assistant (Which She's Not Supposed To Have) As They Drive To The Location Where The Phenomenon Is Happening...

Confronted By 3 Kids They Show, Jane, Darcy And Darcy's Assistant It As They Not Only Lift Up A Truck Like It's Nothing, But They Throw Down A Bottle Only For It To Disappear At One Portal And Reappear At Another Portal At The Top Of The Stairs...

Eventually Going Off On Her Own, Jane Gets Sucked Into A Portal Where She Finds The Aether And Opens It, Not Ony Infecting Herself With The Aether And Reawakening Malekith And His Dark Elves After Years Of Hibernation...

Back On Asgard, Thor Talks With Heimdall At The Newly Rebuilt Bifrost As He Tells Thor That The Convergence Is Upon Them. However, Not Interested In That But In Jane, Heimdall Tells Thor That Jane Is Studying The Convergence As Well, However Something Is Blocking His Vision To The Point That He Can't See Her...

Coming After She Was Infected, Jane Reunites With Darcy Who Is Not Only With Police But Tells Jane That She's Been Gone For 5 Hours...

With The Area Starting To Rain, Everywhere Else But Around Them, Jane Turns Around To See Thor Who She Gives A Piece Of Her Mind...

Explaining Where He's Been For The Last Few Months, Jane Forgives Him Despite Knowing That He Was In New York With The Avengers, However As Our 2 Lovebirds Talk, Darcy Interrupts To Tell Jane That They're About To Be Arrested...

But When Jane Tries To Set Things Straight With The Police, The Aether Attacks Them Which Forces Thor To Take Her To Asgard To Be Checked By Their Nurses And Doctors...

Meanwhile On Svartalfheim, Malekith Talks With His Second In Command, Algrim About Their Homeworld, While Swearing To Make People Of Asgard Pay By Reclaiming The Aether And Spreading Their Darkness Throughout The Universe...

With Odin Rightfully Pissed That Thor Brought Jane To Asgard, Odin Orders His Guards To Take Her Back To The Bifrost So She Can Go Back To Earth, But When The Aether Protects Itself From The Guards, Odin Takes A Look At Jane...

(Start At 1:38)

Captured By Fandral And Volstagg, Algrim Arrives On Asgard In A Disguise And Is Placed In Asgard's Dungeons, As Loki Talks With Frigga (Played By Rene Russo) Who Has Tried To Make His Stay In The Dungeons More Comfortable Despite Him Still Believing That He Should Be King Of Asgard...

Eventually Leaving Loki After He Tells Frigga That Her And Odin Are Not His Parents, Frigga Goes To Meet Jane While Back In The Dungeons, Algrim Breaks A Stone Which He Was Given By Malekith To Become One Of What They Call The Kursed...

Now A Monster With Superhuman Strength, Kurse Tears Through Asgard's Warriors And Unleashes Prisoners From The Dungeon While Doing So...

With Loki Suggesting That Kurse Take The Stairs To The Left, Kurse Exits As Fandral, Volstagg And Thor Arrive To Deal With The Prisoners While Odin Tells Frigga To Take Jane To Her Quarters Until It's Safe...

Later That Night, They Hold A Funeral For Frigga While Back On Earth, Erik Selvig Talks About The Convergence Only To Lead Into Our Stan Lee Cameo...

Stan Lee Cameo!

The Next Day On Agard Odin, Fandral, Volstagg And Some Of Asgard's Warriors Hold A Meeting Over The Defenses Of Asgard And It's Not Good, As The Shields Are Destroyed And Their Artillery And Heimdall Cannot Detect The Dark Elves Making Them All But Defenseless...

Placing Jane In The Dungeon, Odin Plans To Have Malekith Come To Them, But Valuing The Safety Of The People Of Asgard, Thor Wants To Take Jane To Them To Keep Them Away From Asgard And While Malekith Pulls The Aether Out Of Jane, Thor Will Destroy The Aether And Malekith...

But Believing That Thor's Plan Is Too Risky, Odin Tells Him No And That It's Far Greater If They Just Do Nothing And Just Wait And As Risk As Many Asgardian Lives As Possible...

However, Unwilling To Take This Risk, Thor Attempts Talking With Heimdall About Letting Him Use The Bifrost But Unfortunately Odin Has Ordered The Bifrost Closed With No One Allowed To Come Or Go In Asgard And Of Course, Heimdall Will Not Disobey Odin's Wishes..

But Knowing That Malekith Will Return And That Odin Is Acting Out Of Grief Over Frigga's Death, Heimdall Asks Thor What He Needs..

Gathering Fandral, Volstagg And Sif, Thor Manages To Get Them To Help Him To The Point Of Knowing That It Will Either Bring Them Exile Or Death But Again Knowing That The Bifrost Is Closed, Heimdall Reminds The Heroes That There Are Other Paths Off Asgard That Only A Few Know But Namely One...

That's Right, Thor Goes To Get Loki To Help Him Get Off Of Asgard Knowing That He Wants Vengeance Against The Dark Elves For Killing Frigga, But Thor Warns Loki That If He Tries To Betray Him That He Will Kill Him...

Once Loki Is Out Of His Cell, Sif Goes To Get Jane And Take Her To Meet With Thor And Loki Who Go To The Main Hall To Board The Crashed Dark Elf Ship While Volstagg Holds Off The Asgardian Guards...

Managing To Get The Ship To Take Off, Thor, Loki And Jane (Who Faints) Are Soon Followed By Asguardian Air Fighters And Being Fired At By Asgardian Turrets, Forced To Abandon Ship, They All Land On A Boat Which Is Being Driven By Fandral...

With Loki Taking Over The Boat, Fandral Abandons Ship To Deal With An Asgardian Boat Behind Them While Loki Shows Thor The Secret Passageway To Svartalfheim...

Arriving On Svartalfheim, Thor And Loki Have A Bit Of An Argument Before Having Somewhat Of A Brotherly Moment As Malekith Senses The Aether On The Planet....

Back On Earth, However, Darcy And Her Assistant Manage To Get Erik Selvig Out Of The Insane Asylum, But When They Do, A Group Of Starlings Go Through A Portal And Reappear Out Of The Sewers Beneath Them, Happy He's Not Insane, Erik Tells Darcy To Take Him To Jane's Lab...

Arriving Where Malekith's Ship Is, Thor Releases Loki From His Binds Only To Immediately Betray Him...

(Sarcastically) What A Surprise...

Stabbing Thor In The Chest And Cutting Off His Hand, Loki Gives Jane To Malekith As A Gift On The Condition That He Gets A Good Seat To Watch Asgard Burn...

Accepting Loki's Offer, Malekith Takes The Aether From Jane But What Malekith Doesn't Know Is That...

Giving Thor His Hand Back, Thor Grabs Mijonir And Appears To Shock The Aether Into A Million Pieces But The Aether Reforms Itself And Combines With Malekith And Leads To An All Out Fight While Malekith Gets Away..,

(Start At 0:44, End At 3:19)

With Loki Dying In Thor's Arms, Thor Promises To Tell Odin About Everything He Did, But Before He Dies, Loki Tells Thor That He Didn't Do It For Odin, But For Him...

Alone With Jane On Svartalfheim, They Try To Find A Way Back To Earth As Jane Saw Malekith On Earth While The Aether Was Being Sucked Out Of Her, Eventually Entering A Cave, Jane's Cell Phone Goes Off Somehow, Answering It, It Turns Out That It's Mr. Bridesmaids Cop Who Is Calling To Ask Jane Out On Another Date...

Telling Mr. Bad Tigger Voice To Not Hang Up, Jane And Thor Follow The Cell Phone Signal To Another Portal Which Leads Them Back To Where They Were On Earth...

Taking Jane's Car, They Head To Jane's Apartment Where They Reunite With Darcy, Erik And Darcy's Assistant To Fill Them In On Malekith And With Erik's Help They Manage To Come Up With A Location In Greenwich...

Placing Erik's Devices All Over The Area, Malekith's Ship Arrives...

(Start At 0:32)

With Malekith Defeated, Thor Returns To Asgard To Tell His Father, Odin That While He Will Protect The Nine Realms Till His Last Breath, He Cannot Be King Because He Would Rather Be A Great Man Than A Great King...

Giving Odin Mijonir, He Tells Thor That Mijonir Belongs To Him So Long As He Is Worthy, However, Odin Is Unable To Give Thor His Blessing, But Simply Tells Him To Go...

As Thor Leaves, We Get A Surprise As Odin Transforms Into Loki...

Allow Me To Explain, While Thor And Jane Reunited With Selvig, Darcy And Her Assistant, Odin Was Visted By A Guard Who Went To Svartalfheim And Discovered Loki's Body And It's Actually Revealed Here That The Guard Was Loki, Who Survived His "Death" On Svartalfheim...

As The Credits Roll We Get A Mid Credits Scene, With Sif And Volstagg On A Planet We Would Come To Know Later As Knowhere Where They Meet With The Collector (Played By Benicio Del Toro) To Give Him The Aether As The Tesseract Is On Asgard And It Is Unwise To Have 2 Infinity Stones In The Same Place...

After More Credits Roll We Get An End Credits Scene Where Thor Returns To Earth And Reunites With Jane (Or So We Think!) That Is Not Natalie Portman In This Scene, That Is Elsa Pataky, Wife Of Thor Himself, Chris Hemsworth (Yeah It's Natalie In The Apartment But Outside It's Entirely Elsa)

Why?

Well, Apparently Natalie Portman Was Told That She Was Working With Patty Jenkins On The Movie But When Patty Dropped Out Of Directing The Movie And They Were Passed To Game Of Thrones Director Alan Taylor, Natalie Was Pissed And Didn't Want To Do The Picture...

However, Being Under Contract She Had To Do It...

But After The Picture Was Done Filming, They Asked Her To Come Back To Do The End Credits Scene And Natalie Said Screw You To Marvel So, Instead Marvel Got Hemsworth's Fast And Furious Wife In A Brown Wig...

This Movie Is...Okay....

While Not The Best Entry In The Thor Movies, I Wasn't Bored, The Action Scenes Were Good And Both Hemsworth And Hiddleston Did Great, I Thought Kat Dennings Was Funny At Times (Despite People Believing Her To Be Again, The Jar Jar Binks Of The Thor Movies And I'm Glad They're Bringing Her Back For The WandaVision Show On Disney +) And Some Of The Other Actors Like Anthony Hopkins, Rene Russo And Jaimie Alexander Did Good In Their Roles....

But Again Like Iron Man 3 The Problem Is The Bad Guy...

Where On The Mandarin They Royally F-ed Up, This Villain Is Boring And Doesn't Have Enough Character Development With Him To Even Give A Crap About What He's After But Aside From That, I Say See This Movie...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[dukereviewsxtra]

Duke Reviews Xtra: The 10th Kingdom Part 2

Part 2 Starts With The Evil Queen Digging Up All Her Mirrors..

As Virginia's Iron Shoes Are Ready For Her To Wear, However A Box That Smells Like Leather

Yeah, Trolls Have An Affinity Toward Leather, Go Figure...

Falls Right Through The Window, The 3 Trolls Fight Over It And Knock Themselves Out In The Process...

Flying In To Save Virginia, Virginia's Less Than Trusting Of Wolf As The Last Time She Saw Him He Tried To Eat Her Grandmother But Giving His Word That She's Safe With Him, He Goes To Find A Way Out Only To Notice The Troll King's Magic Shoes...

Telling Her To Leave Them As They'll Make Her Want To Wear Them All The Time She Seems To Do Just That As They Get Out Of That Castle...

Wanting To Go Back To The Snow White Memorial Prison To Rescue Tony, Wolf Is Resistant At First But Eventually Says Okay But They Have To Avoid The Roads And Instead Cut Through Beanstalk Forest...

Once There, They Find A Statue Of Jack From Jack And The Beanstalk, This Leads Wolf To Tell Virginia Why The Trolls Hate Wendell And That's Because Wendell Has A Fertile Kingdom And They Have A Polluted Disgusting Kingdom...

Oh No, Somebody Call Captain Planet!

But Wolf's Words Fall On Deaf Ears As Virginia Is Gone Which Can Only Mean One Thing...

She Stole The Troll King's Magic Shoes!

But Despite That Wolf Eventually Finds Her As The Shoes Magic Doesn't Last Long. Taking The Shoes Away From Her After A Short Struggle, Virginia Tries Everything She Can To Try To Get Them Back Even To The Point Of Seduction...

But Despite Being Attracted To Her, Wolf Knows It's The Shoes Doing The Talking And Not Her...

But With The Troll King And His Kids Closing In, Virginia And Wolf Decide To Climb A Beanstalk Where They Get To Know Each Other A Little Better As They Spend The Night From Above...

The Next Day, Believing Security Around The Prison To Be A Joke, The Warden Decides To Have The Prisoners Clean Out The Cellar Where The Mirror Is So New Security Measures Can Be Put Into Place...

Realizing That's Where The Mirror Is, Wendell Puts Tony's Name On The Work Detail, However, When He Finds Mirror, The Warden Tells Him To Throw It In The Boat Or Else He'll Throw Him And Everyone Connected To The Chain He's On Into The Ocean...

So, Tony Throws It Into The Boat Where By Some Miracle It Doesn't Break...

Put Back In His Cell, Tony Discovers That Acorn And Clayface Have Created A Tunnel Out Of The Prison, Asking Him To Let Him Come With Them, They Say Yes...

However, Tony's Escape Might Be A Bit Premature As Virginia And Wolf Arrive To Get Tony Out Of Prison By Using The Troll King's Magic Shoes...

Once Inside, They Get Wendell From The Warden's Office Despite Wolf Knowing That With Him The Shoes Will Lose Their Magic Quicker And What Do You Know? He's Right As Once They Reach Tony's Cell The Shoes Lose Their Magic...

But As They Crawl Through The Tunnel, They're Blocked By Tony's Big Butt As He Got Stuck In The Tunnel When Attempting To Escape...

Maybe Tony Should Follow Winnie The Pooh's Example And Do Some Stoutness Exercises...

(Start At 0:51, End At 2:07)

Eventually Getting Tony Out Of The Tunnel, Father And Daughter Are Reunited As Tony Tells Virginia About The Mirror Being Placed On A Barge, However When They Go To Get It They It, They Discover That Acorn Used The Barge To Escape, Taking Everything Including The Mirror With Him...

Getting On A Boat To Follow Acorn, They're Spotted By The Trolls Who Attempt To Virginia And The Others But They Manage To Get Away To The Troll King's Displeasure, But He Has Bigger Problems Right Now As He's Contacted By The Evil Queen...

Wondering If The Troll King's Children Have Caught Wendell, He Tells Her No, As She Orders Him To Send His Children After Them And To Return To His Palace Until Further Notice...

But Saying He Doesn't Take Orders From Her, He Swears That If She Contacts Him This Way Again, He'll Kill Her...

Reading One Of His Self Help Books, Wolf Takes The Opportunity To Get Rid Of The Troll King's Magic Shoes Which Pisses Virginia Off To No End At First But Guessing That She Was Going To Wear Them Tonight, He Tells Her That While Magic Is Nice It's Very Easy To Get Addicted...

This Leads Her To Ask Wolf Why She Wasn't Able To Resist The Shoes But He Was? To Which He Believes The Reason To Be That Virginia Has A Strong Desire To Be Invisible...

Tired Of Waiting For The Evil Queen To Take Over Wendell's Kingdom, The Troll King Declares War On The 4th Kingdom And Challenges Wendell To Face Him In 7 Days Or He'll Claim It As His Own...

The Next Day, Wolf Wakes Virginia And Tony Only For Tony To Discover A Golden Fish In A Glass Case. Named The Golden River Gold Fish, Wolf Tells Tony And Virginia That This Is The Famous Anything You Touch Will Turn To Gold Fish...

With Tony Seeing Untold Possibilities With The Fish, Wolf And Virginia Tell Him To Just Leave It Alone

Contacting The Troll King In The 4th Kingdom, The Evil Queen Is Rightfully Pissed At Him For Obeying Her Orders And That If He Stays There, The Coronation Will Be Cancelled And Her Plans Will Be Ruined...

But Having No Interest In Leaving The 4th Kingdom, She Hangs Up On Him So She Can Consult With Her Mirror, Who Tells Her That Wendell Is Travelling Down The River Toward Her Castle With 3 Others, 1 Who Can Talk With Him And 1 Who Can Hurt Her...

Asking To See These People, The Mirror Tells Her That He Can't Show Them To Her But Knowing That Wolf Is With Them, She Tells The Mirror To Focus On Him...

Oh, God The Bee Gees Running Gag Is Back...

(Start At 0:46, End At 0:49)

Contacting Wolf As He's Shaving, He Just Tells The Queen To Go Away And Leave Him Alone Before Tony Enters And Hangs Up, Washing His Face Off As He Leaves...

However As Tony Looks For Food, He Decides To Go Back To Look At The Golden Fish Only To Break The Glass By Coughing (Of All The Luck) And Sticking His Pinky Inside The Fish Gaining The One Time Ability To Turn Something Into Gold...

All I Can Say To That Is Thank God He's Not Dr. Evil Or Else He'd Turn Himself Into Gold...

Meanwhile At The Queen's Castle, Dog Wendell Pees On A Post...

As The Evil Queen Tries To Convince Him That He's Not A Dog But Prince Wendell, Ruler Of The 4th Kingdom And That In Order To Be Crowned King He Must Show Bravery, Loyalty And Intelligence...

Why Can't They Do It The Wakandan Way And Challenge Someone To Single Combat?

Finding Acorn's Barge At A Town, Near The Queen's Castle, Wendell Goes Off On His Own To Investigate The Castle (As He Can Sense His Body There) While Tony And The Others Go To Get The Mirror From Acorn...

However, When They Arrive, They Find Acorn And Whatever Junk Was On-Board Gone, With The Person Who Now Owns The Barge Telling Them That He Traded It For The Guy's Horse And Carriage, Which He Took Through The Woods...

But Despite Virginia And Wolf Wanting To Leave For The Woods Immediately Tony Asks For 15 Minutes To Find Wendell...

And Speaking Of Wendell, The Queen Is Giving Dog Wendell An Eating Lesson As The Trolls Arrive To Give Her An Update On Their Search For Wendell Which Goes Nowhere...

Telling Them To Not Return Without Wendell Or She'll Make Them Eat Their Own Hearts, The Trolls Leave Believing That Meeting Didn't Go Well...

Finding Himself, Wendell Tries To Get Dog Wendell To Reach Him But Unfortunately They're Unable To Touch So Wendell Goes Off To Get Help, But As He Goes To Find Tony, Wendell Is Found By Tony, The Trolls Also Find Him...

This Leads Tony To Do Something We Don't See On Screen But We Know He Did Something...

Finding Virginia And Wolf, Tony Tells Them That He Defeated The Trolls However When He Shows Them How, We See That Tony Not Only Turned Them Into Gold But Wendell As Well...

Summoning Her Huntsman (Played By Rutger Hauer)...

(Start At 0:13, Stop At 0:43)

The Evil Queen Tells Him That Neither Wolf Or The Trolls Have Captured Wendell And Whoever Is With Him Is About To Enter His Forest. Swearing To Find Them, He Leaves...

About To Enter The Forest, Virginia And The Others Run Into An Old Beggar Woman, Who's Hungry For Food, But Where Wolf And Tony Are Not So Charitable Virginia Gives Up One Of Their Bacon Sandwiches They Made Earlier...

As A Reward, The Woman Tells Them That Acorn Took The Main Road Through The Forest But She Warns Them To Get Off The Road At Once As Someone Is Following Them With The Intent To Kill Them...

This Gets Wolf Remembering That This Forest Is The Domain Of The Huntsman Who Serves The Queen, So Taking The Old Lady's Advice, They Stray From The Road And Go Through The Forest...

Coming Across A Gypsy Camp, They Try Going Around But They're Unfortunately Caught By Gypsies Who Seem Pretty Nice At First As They Invite Virginia And The Others To Join Them For Dinner...

Oh, And I See They're Having The Remains Of The First Trailer For Sonic The Hedgehog For Dinner...

Asking Tony To Sing In Return For Their Hospitality We Get The Most Groan Worthy Version Of Gypsies Tramps and Thieves Ever...

Cher Must Be Vomiting After Hearing That...

Finding A Bunch Of Talking Birds In Cages, Wolf Tells Virginia They're Magic Birds That The Gypsies Break Their Wings Off To Sell For Millions To Rich People To Absorb Their Magic...

Why? What Does The Magic From These Birds Do?

Coming Out Of A Carriage An Old Gypsy Tells The Gypsies To Set Up A Table For Fortune Telling...

But While Tony's Fortune Is Nothing To Tell About, Virginia's Sees The Gypsy Asking For A Lock Of Her Hair (Which Will Come Back To Bite Virginia In The Ass) As She Tells Virginia That She's Full Of Anger As She's Never Forgiven Her Mother For Leaving Years Ago...

Something Her Grandmother Mentioned In Part 1 That I Thought Wasn't Worth Mentioning Till Now...

She Also Tells Virginia That She Has A Great Destiny One That Stretches Way Back In Time...

With Virginia Leaving, It's Wolf's Turn To Have His Fortune Told, But It Doesn't Go The Way He Wants It As The Gypsy Tells Him That She Saw A Young Girl Dead And A Fire With Him To Burnt On It...

Remember This Fortune As It Will Be Further Developed In Part 3...

Knowing That Wolf Is A Wolf From The Fortune, This Leads Wolf To Reveal That The Gypsies Grandson Is Also A Wolf...

?

Allowing Virginia And The Others To Spend The Night, They Attempt To Sneak Out Early The Next Morning, But Virginia Just Can't Leave The Talking Birds To Die So She Frees Them All Only To Be Seen By The Head Gypsy Who Sends The Other Gypsies After Them...

But While They Manage To Get Away From The Gypsies, The Head Gypsy Uses The Hair She Cut From Virginia To Curse Her...

But Don't Worry About The Gypsies Becoming A New Threat As They're All Killed By The Huntsman...

Continuing On Their Journey, Wolf And Tony Start To Notice That Virginia's Hair Has Grown Slightly Since They Left The Gypsy Camp Which Leads Wolf To Theorize That The Gypsies Have Cursed Her..

Duh...

By Nightfall It Starts To Rain, As Virginia's Hair Has Grown To Length Of Rapunzel's. Luckily, They Come Across A Cottage That's Been Abandoned For Years, Going Upstairs They Find Seven Beds Which Leads Them To Realize That This Cottage Once Belonged To The Seven Dwarves...

Starting A Fire, Tony Asks The Question That We've Been Dying To Have Answered, What Happened To Snow White After She Married The Prince?..

This Leads Wolf To Tell Them That She Became A Great Queen And One Of The Five Women Who Changed History..

With The Women Being, (Aside From Snow White) Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Red Riding Hood?, Gretel From Hansel And Gretel? And Rapunzel...

Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella And Rapunzel, I Can Handle Being Queens But Having Red Riding Hood And Gretel Is Like Making Alice From Alice In Wonderland A Princess In Kingdom Hearts, It Doesn't Work...

The 5 Of Them Formed First 5 Kingdoms And Brought Peace To All The Lands. But Now They're All Mostly Dead, I Say Mostly As There's Rumors That Cinderella Is Still Alive But If She Was, She'd Be Over 200 Years Old...

(Acting Like Joey Lawrence) Whoa!

Virginia Spends The Night Talking With Wolf About Her Mother Which Just More Exposition At This Point...

But Waking Up Virginia Finds That Her Hair Is All Over The House, And What's Worse It's Growing Up The Stairs...

They Try Using Cutting Tools To Cut Virginia's Hair But Nothing Can Cut Through It...

It's A Curse For A Reason, You Morons...

Worried About Dying With Long Hair, One Of The Birds Virginia Saved From The Gypsies Helps By Telling Them That A Woodsman With A Magic Axe That Can Cut Through Anything Lives In This Forest And With It They Can Break The Curse...

However, Wolf Smells The Huntsman And Decides To Bury Virginia, Tony And The Golden Wendell In Holes While He Leads The Huntsman In A Circle..

But It Sadly Doesn't Help As Virginia Sneezes Revealing Their Location To The Huntsman...

Forced To Run, Tony Gets Away To Tell Wolf What Happened While Virginia Gets Caught By The Huntsman And Is Taken To His Headquarters, Which Finally Ends Part 2...

To Be Continued...

[loudsoulgentlemen]

Sunday Word

Jesus.

***

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year.

Its Happy NOw! :)

***

*Cry

YOu LEft Us.

Now I Am Back.

Come In. Let Me Run You A Hot Bath.

Aka MSaFiSha Miguu Pia.

***

NyuMba YaKo

NaMPENDa MToTo WAkO!

Irene Hebu TenGeNeZa CHAKULA!

VICTORIOUS! HE CAME!

***

What's The Next Mission.

Travelling The World With Joy.

Your People Are Working.

I'll Check Up On Them Too.

Should We Tell Them?

Not Where I Sleep.

***

Ngoma Nyingi KIBAO! ZILICHEZWA!

MWOKOZI KARUDI!

MWOKOZI KATUCHAGUA!

***

How Did You Handle Stubborness In Afrika?

I Showed Them A Better Way.

JESUS!

***

Who Troubled You The Most?

The Romans With Their Ever Changing Women.

Uh! YOu MuSt HAve HAd YOur Fun.

It WAsn't FUN! WHO WAS MAKING THEM!? SHALOM!

HAHAHA! THEIR FATHERS! OH JESUS!

FUNNY.

***

When You Fell In Love With The Afrikans. The Gentilles. .. ...

Not All Afrikans Are Gentilles.

ThAt's Just Code!

The Best Of Them!

They Put Their Best Foot ForWard!?

They Had To.

To Save The World.

Do You Think They're The Chosen People.

I Get Along Better With Them. Could Actually Have A Few Ancestors In My Time. My Blood Is Weary. Where Do I Belong. No Way Today To Check.

Magic Shows You In Every Colour. We Discovered It From England.

Teach Me.

... Oh Well. JESUS!

***

In Every Colour. You Are Still As Beautiful.

*Shy

***

After Watching His Boy Play With The Black Children.

How Did I Get Those?

***

After Watching His Daughter Play With The Afrikans.

Better Mates.

***

After Watching His Wife Play With Her People.

I Am Definately A King.

Even They Think She's Hot.

*Smilling

***

JESUS!

Dad.

How Big Is The World?

BIG!

Do You Think I'll Ever See WHOLE Of It? O.O!

***

You Do Not Know HOW Our KINGDOM LOVES YOU!

IT'S NOT JUST HERE!

ITS THE WHOLE THING!

I TELL YOU SO NO ONE KNOCKS YOU AROUND!

I've Never Been Knocked Around.

They Dont Even Have To Touch You. They're Quite Engineous!

FITINA!?

YES!

WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT! WORD?

You Were Trying To Translate.

Child. I Am Good.

It's Just LANGUAGES!

*Turning Away HOT!

ONLY AFRIKA! *Smilling

***

Do You Feel Like Wine?

I've Been Alive For A While.

I Am Fasting.

YOUR NEVER THE SAME OFF WINE!

QUITE RESPECTABLE!

QUITE? o.O?

HAhaha!

***

Does Your Mother Know Your Alive?

YEs.

YOUR A MAN NOW!

YOU STAY WITH ME!

I AM GOOD!

ALL YOUR PLEASURES!

.. ... GREAT FAMILY.

I HAVE MONEY TOO!

ONLY IN AFRIKA!

BINTI MZURI!

NA TABIA NJEMA! *Smilling

SIO ZOTE WINKING! ;)

ILO NI TENDO, WE ARE TOGETHER? WE ARE ONE! I AM A WOMAN, YOU ARE A MAN!

HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO ACCEPT THAT!?

LONG!

HAhaha!

***

LINI TUNA RUDI NYUMBANI!?

NI NYUMBANI KWANGU. SIO KWENU.

BADO!

LINI TUNA RUDI NYUMBANI?

I AM MADE OF THE SHADOWS. UNTILL YOU LEARN TO FOLLOW A SHADOW YOU CAN COME HOME WITH ME.

TO MEET GRAND PAPI?

TO EVEN BREATH IT'S AIR.

ONE DAY IT WILL BE BETTER, AND YOU WILL VENTURE THEM YOURSELF.

***

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT YOUR FATHER TO DO NOW THAT YOUR GROWN.

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. *HE CRIED! STOP ASKING DADDY HARD QUESTIONS! IT DOESNT MAKE YOU SMART!

FIRST BORN?

AGAIN! *THE LITTLE LADY BEING SHARP WHILE HER BROTHERS WERE QUICK AND PLAYFUL

DIFFERENT BLOOD.

DAMU TOFAUTI! FARAJA! FARAJA KWANGU EITHER WAY! *Smilling . I Love Them So So Much!

Na Bado Ume ToMBA DUNIA NZIMA! OH JESUS YOU JESUS! *Feels Like Home. .. ...

***

MwaNaMke Aki KuKaTaa!?

Mungu Mkubwa!

BADO BIKRA WAKO!

KIBURI! KIBURI JESUS! SASA JEH!? O.o HAhaha!

***

Heshima Zako HAzi Ishi

Sio HaPa! Sio PALe!

***

When You Built That Thing In Brazil?

Kweli WaTu Wao WAZuRi HIvYo!?

It's Quite BIG!

HAhaha!

Akamshika Mkono Bega.

This Will Always Be Home.

***

WEH AFRIKA UTA I WEZA!

HAHAHA!7ULI I SHINDAJE!?

GENTILLES WOTE WAH AMINI TUTA ONA NA NA TUNA O NA NA!

THAT SIMPLE.

ANCESTRY IN CHRISTIANITY! ANCESTRY IN CATHOLISCIM.

SIKU. WA PI NGA! IT MADE SENSE. JUST LIKE GOD PUT THEM IN MY WAY! MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE. HIS FAVOURITE PEOPLE. Perhaps.

***

When Your Mother Hears HOw MAny WOmen YOu Have!

OH JESUS! UME ZAA WENGI! SHE'LL BE SO SO HAPPY! :) SMILLING!

BABA NDIO ANAJUA KINA CHO FWATA! YEYE, NDIO FARAJA YANGU!

WEH MTU MZIMA!

TEAM EFFORT.

TUKO WENGI!

EACH WITH A VARIANT PIECE OF INFORMATION.

TUNA ITAJIANA!

***

UNA TAKA U I SHI GI!?

KAMA TAJIRU!

OHJESUS MY JESUS YES! UME MALIZA MISSION YAKO! OH JESUS MY JESUS! YES!

TUISHI KAMA MATAJIRI! TUISHI KAMA WA FALME! KWENE FAMILLIA YA KIFALME! UME WA PITA WOTE WASK TISHA!

SI TI SHI KI! *MwAH! *Twinkling Eyes Of Solemn And Joy. Oh How I Love This MAN! *Twinkling Eyes Of Joy And Fatigue

***

HEHE UNA FAGIA NYUMBA!

WELCOME TO AFRIKA! BETTER THAN ITALIANO!

DO NOTHING ALL DAY

AND MAKE YOUR MONEY!

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS

BUT A KING! *Shrugging His Hands!

Na PuMziKa

UNA WATOTO!

WAACHE WA FANYE HIYO KAZI

NJOO TUONGE!

WAKO SHULE

ILA KARIBU

THANK YOU JESUS

VITI VYENU VYAKO!?

I WAS JUST TRYING SOMETHING NEW A WHILE BACK.

THEIR BEAUTIFUL! CARPENTER?

ME. I DIDNT ASSIGN THEM.

HALLELUYA! KAMA MNA VYO SEMA!

GREAT WORK JESUS! THEIR BEAUTIFUL!

YOU YOURSELF!?

YES.

IN THESE WOODS!?

THESE TREES!?

MAKE THIS!?

YES!

OH JESUS!

BIASHARA AFRIKA! ITA KUPENDA SAAAAAANA!

Ahsante Kwa Baraka Zako

Weh Pia Nta Ku Salia

My Friend?

WHY OFCOURSE!

HAhaha!

***

JESUS Is YOur FAther A DraGon!?

The Way He Loved And Loves Me And My Mother?

YES!

HAHAHA!

WAHALA!

BEI BEI ;)

***

BAba!?

Yes?

Just Cause I Am Royalty Does It Mean I Have To Be Royalty?

You'll Always Be Royalty.

That's Just AnOthEr PrOblem!

HAhaha!

***

Quite Original

***

SAnila. In Moshi. When I Asked You Out On That Day. And You Were So Quiet. You Have NO IDEA HOW SCARED I WAS, THAT I AM LOSING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! IT WAS SO WEIRD. YOU WERE SO SILENT. THEN YOU PUT ON THOSE GLASSES THAT MADE YOU LOOK LIKE A BIG SERIOUS GIRL AND I JUST LAUGHED! I WAS ALREADY THERE. BUT FOR YOU? I WOULD HAVE KEPT YOU YOUTHFUL AND HAPPY! I WAS SO SCARED! THAT MY WIFE WAS CRAZY!! HAHAHA! ALL THOSE PEOPLE TRYING TO BREAK US UP HAD NO IDEA. THAT I HAD KNOWN YOU MY 'WHOLE' LIFE! TINY AS YOU ARE. NO ONE BETTER FOR ME. TILL TODAY. I STILL BELIEVE THAT 'TILL' TODAY! MWAh! Blowing Kisses ;) KING! MWAH!

[shelllessturtle]

Behind the scenes of this livetext: Mycroft gets a new phone and identifies Iago via haiku; Iago sees Hamilton; "Pride and Prejudice but in Starfleet" becomes a thing; Iago quits their job; SO MANY PUNS; and it turns out that Mycroft has never finished Avatar: the Last Airbender. A year in the making (I'm not even fucking kidding), I present you with: Iago Reads Wizards At War (lightly edited for ease of reading)

Mycroft: Better start bracing yourself for book 8 now

Iago: Oh sweet Jesus

Mycroft: There, no you can't say I didn't warn you

Iago: But you /know/ it's funnier when I get to threaten you with gruesome death!

Iago: Are you ready for this?

Iago: ...one of the chapter titles is "Acceptable Losses". /I/ am not ready for this.

Iago: Nita needs a vacation from her vacation. Nita sweetie...

Iago: "Neets, is it true he destroyed a whole alien culture in just ten days?" Carmela Rodriguez is my Patronus

Mycroft: Right?

Mycroft: She just keeps getting better

Iago: Roll call at the Callahan home: "three humans, one humanoid, one tree, and one giant bug" and I'm quietly cackling in public

Iago: "The centipede pointed a couple spare eyes at the Christmas tree." Taken out of context, I think that may be the most bizarre sentence I've ever read. In context, it makes perfect sense. I don't know which amuses me more.

Mycroft: Yesssss

Iago: "But her mom had loved those lilacs, and wouldn't be seeing them again." OKAY OW

Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus

Iago: You weren't wrong.

Iago: And I wasn't prepared.

Mycroft: So not prepared

Mycroft: What's that in response to specifically?

Iago: Basically the entire series of events leading to Kit and Nita becoming Seniors

Mycroft: BASICALLY

Mycroft: IT'S ALL GONE TO SHIT

Iago: Descriptions of wizardries in action never fail to be beautiful

Iago: "The changes in the structure of space then start affecting the thought processes and reactions of all living beings in the area. Their behavior will start to become less and less rational...less committed to Life."

SHE WROTE THIS BOOK OVER A DECADE AGO HOW IS IT SO RELEVANT RIGHT NOW

Mycroft: Oh you have no idea

Iago: God help my soul

Mycroft: So yes, welcome to Tom's Wizardly PowerPoint of universal doom

Iago: I should just go see Moana again. It's far less depressing

Iago: "Uh-oh". Now Nita's getting in on it

Mycroft: Indeed

Iago: Looks like Nita's playing "fake it 'til you make it"

Iago: I don't know if that's good or bad, to be honest

Mycroft: Fairly characteristic tho

Iago: True

Iago: "...yet another lollipop sticking out of his face." That is the greatest description of someone with a sucker in their mouth that I've ever witnessed

Mycroft: Roshaun and his lollipop addiction

Mycroft: The real OTP

Iago: *chokes* oh my gOD

Iago: Sker'ret just called Nita "Senior". I think both Nita and I had a quick internal freak-out

Iago: THEY STILL HAVE BETTY CALLAHAN'S NUMBER IN THEIR HOME PHONE I'M GOING TO GO CRY IN A CORNER

Mycroft: ;__;

Iago: "The universe has started expanding too fast, and we have to stop it before it tears itself apart."

"Um. Okay, I see why you might need a few extra days off for that."

*slightly hysterical laughter*

Mycroft: Same

Iago: "Two weeks to save the universe". Sounds like an album title

Mycroft: I'd listen to it

Iago: "What /is/ grenfelzing, exactly?"

"It's kind of like emmfozing, but with chocolate."

Have I ever mentioned that I both hate and love your ability to quote these goddamn books at me when I ask questions?

Mycroft: I can't recall, but I'm glad to hear it

Mycroft: Also I mean that's the only canon explanation so really, what else could I say

Iago: But you quoted it /word for word/

Mycroft: Admittedly, that was at least partially For The Meme

Iago: I'll allow it

Iago: "...a brief, profound case of amnesia. They'd instantly forgotten why they were there" sounds like my life

Iago: Oh my god what is Spot doing with the TV

Iago: *whispers* How bad is it that my mind is currently in the gutter

Mycroft: Dataaaaaa

Iago: AM I JUST A PERVERT OR DOES THAT SOUND INCREDIBLY DIRTY

Mycroft: It's certainly something

Iago: "But most of the aliens are here for the cocoa plants." Well, I can't exactly blame them...

Iago: Carmela Rodriguez remains a gift

Iago: Oh god Ronan's back

Mycroft: Yessssss Carmela and Ronan

Mycroft: A dangerous combination

Iago: Ronan keeps the Spear in a pen

Iago: *checks date published*

Iago: Feels a bit Percy Jackson to me

Iago: Carmela has the insta-hots for Ronan. This is gonna be fun

Iago: "The fucking heir of an almighty something or other" is still a really good description for Roshaun. In case you were wondering if I had warmed up to him any more

Iago: WHALE

Iago: WHALE ON THE MOON

Iago: Whale On The Moon is the name of my new techno jazz band

Mycroft: Can I join?

Mycroft: I'll learn any new instrument you need

Iago: ...having thought about it, I'm legitimately not certain what instruments would be /played/ in a techno jazz band. So, I mean, if you want to learn the synthesizer...

Iago: Young Wizards book 8 alternate title: Wizards' Reunion

Iago: Lots of air quotes going on right now

Iago: ....I want Darryl's manual

Iago: "Where's your adjunct talent?"

"Playing with rocks, as usual."

Okay now I really want a puppy

Iago: "Twychild". Have I mentioned lately that the worldbuilding in these books gives me a case of the warm fuzzies?

Mycroft: Yesssss Tuyet and Nguyet

Iago: *whispers* Why is there a thought-voice talking in second-person in Kit's head

Iago: The description of Roshaun's living space send help

Iago: "A three-way collision between an antique furniture warehouse, a jewelry story, and a Gothic cathedral carved and decorated by the artistically insane."

Iago: So my brain has given Roshaun's father the voice of Mark Hamill.

Iago: There's a decent chance I'm going to just call him the Phoenix King

Iago: "Speaking truth to power is never 'out'." DAIRINE REMAINS GOD

Iago: (Also if I ever go to a protest I'm putting that on my sign.)

Mycroft: Yessss do it

Mycroft: And which kind of Mark Hamill are we talking here: Skywalker, Firelord or Joker?

Iago: Firelord. Thus the Phoenix King comment

Iago: Oh my god Dairine in the face of implications that she and Roshaun are ~involved~

Mycroft: Blessss

Iago: "You tell those people that they are completely nuts!"

Iago: Did...did Roshaun just /whine/ at his mother?

Mycroft: Yes

Mycroft: Not so dignified now

Iago: *falls off the table in laughter*

Iago: Oh god is Roshaun developing a Thing for Dairine

Mycroft: WELCOME TO THE MADDENING AMBIGUITY

Iago: MADDENING AMBIGUITY IS THE NAME OF MY NEW POLITICAL PUNK BAND

Mycroft: Bless

Iago: This is my favorite game

Mycroft: I know a fair few YW fans who have a particular talent for it

Iago: I have a list. I use them in my stories for bands my characters like

Mycroft: Most excellent

Iago: Ponch wants blue food

Mycroft: As do we all

Iago: I /could/ go for some blue Jolly Ranchers

Iago: Ponch, to Ronan: "You two just talk among yourselves."

Dog sass is best sass

Iago: "It's math, Kit, but not as we know it."

SHE. SHE JUST. SHE FUCKING DID THAT ON PURPOSE

Iago: I'm going to go curl up in a corner and cry with laughter now

Mycroft: Yup

Mycroft: What a nerd, right

Iago: Pot, kettle

Iago: Oh shit Sker'ret is having a fight with his parent

Iago: ...I currently have a desire to cuddle what amounts to a giant centipede. What have you done to me

Mycroft: The magic of Young Wizards

Iago: That was terrible

Iago: But, then again, I love terrible

Iago: Okay so the description of dark matter

Mycroft: Yes?

Iago: I feel like I have something crawling around under my skin

Mycroft: It's unsettling, isn't it

Mycroft: That gets worse

Iago: Oh god

Iago: "Nita for the first time actually saw someone else look out of Ronan's eyes. The expression was one of recognition coupled with a very controlled anger. The one who looked out had seen something like this before."

Oh. Shit. Oh /shit/.

Mycroft: Yessssss

Mycroft: Shit just got real

Iago: I am not prepared for this

Mycroft: Correct

Iago: GIGO

Mycroft: :D

Iago: "For transits like this, we temporarily rewrite the kernel that manages local gravity and mass in our solar system. It's no big deal."

oh my gOD

Iago: They are actually Dairine's children

Mycroft: They've been busy since we last saw them

Mycroft: And it's awesome

Iago: "A world of true computer wizards" get the fuck out

Iago: They're actually calling her Mother s e n d h e l p

Mycroft: RIGHT

Iago: I'm not crying you're crying

Mycroft: I'm not crying I'm eating a quaesadilla

Mycroft: The crying one must be you

Iago: Well I can't see to tell you so who knows

Iago: "Guys," [Dairine] said after a moment, "you make me proud."

"That is our other purpose," Beanpole said. "Our first one."

Iago: I A M D E A D

Mycroft: I knowwww

Iago: "Life's all the time sending /me/ messages I can't read." [Dairine] flicked just a second's glance at Roshaun, who she was starting to think was yet another of those messages.

Iago: Oh lordy

Iago: Oh god above send help

Iago: Spot's becoming less of a machine, more alive. I don't know if I'm in support of this change

Mycroft: Everyone needs upgrades now and then :P

Iago: I don't like change

Iago: I kind of adore the mobiles all bowing to Dairine

Iago: Roshaun raised his eyebrows and produced another lollipop, which he held out to her.

"How many of those things do you have?" Dairine said.

"Not nearly enough," Roshaun said.

Iago: Please excuse me while I go laugh myself sick

Mycroft: Roshaun has his priorities in order

Mycroft: There was always a jar of lollipops on hand at CrossingsCon in his honor

Iago: Perfect

Iago: "I'll give you a dysfunction where you'll have trouble finding it again."

Totally stealing that don't even care

Mycroft: Excellent

Iago: "I may be a mother, but you are /mine/."

Maybe I didn't take enough time to recover after finishing The Slow Regard of Silent Things I'm going to go collapse in an emotional heap

Mycroft: So many Dairine feels, I knowww

Iago: "Enthusiasmic incorporation of the Hesper--"

What? What?! What does it say? What does it mean? I NEED TO KNOW

Mycroft: [rubs hands together; evil laughter] I'M SAYING NOTHING

Iago: Oh god is time moving faster on Metemne

Mycroft: MAYBE

Iago: Oh fuck it's relativity isn't it. Because they're near the source of the dark matter, they're moving faster than the rest of the Universe

Mycroft: Very possible

Iago: Oh no. Introduction of Della Cantrell and MY EMOTIONS CAN'T TAKE THIS HALP

Mycroft: Oh boy

Iago: Nita's phone call to her dad. Direct hit to the feels.

Mycroft: Harry Callahan is such a good dad

Iago: That is part of why it hurts so much

Iago: "Nita, could you please get off me before we accidentally become more than just good friends?"

*cackles maniacally*

Mycroft: BEST

Iago: Holy fucking sHIT ALMOND SPIDERS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Mycroft: Wait what

Mycroft: Remind me of the context for that

Iago: On Rashah. The creatures destroying the trees are almond-shaped and have eight legs. Almond spiders

Mycroft: Oh ok that's what I figured

Mycroft: HELLO TO OUR TERRIFYING NEW ALIEN FRIENDS

Iago: ALMOND SPIDERS. WHY.

Mycroft: WHY NOT

Iago: "They've been fighting each other, on and off, for /millions/ of years?"

"They must be really enjoying it, to keep the war going so long."

Sker'ret is so great

Mycroft: Rashah is not exactly a great vacation destination, that's for sure

Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus the almond spiders are a remnant after an atomic holocaust I need a drink

Iago: And...they're all avatars...of the Lone Wanker. Better make that two drinks.

Mycroft: WELCOME TO RADIOACTIVE POSSESSED WAR-MONGERING GIANT SPIDER CULT WORLD

Mycroft: ENJOY YOUR STAY

Iago: Where is Nita's dad

Iago: I am Concerned

Iago: Also

Iago: I will never get tired of the "check your spelling" joke

Mycroft: Same

Iago: "Words had just failed Dairine." Gods above have mercy on us all

Mycroft: I appreciate that the narration pauses to note how unthinkable that is

Iago: Also, a "bright" version of the Lone Power

Iago: What does that mean

Iago: Why is bright in quotes

Mycroft: To indicate it's kind of a rough description of a more complex subject, mostly

Iago: But does it mean that we're getting a version of the Lone Power that's more on the good side or a version that's worse than usual

Mycroft: There's more explanation later, but basically picture the LP's non-evil twin

Mycroft: Like its opposite, basically

Iago: I thought /you/ were refusing to give spoilers

Mycroft: Meh, I saw that as more clarification on what you already read, ymmv

Mycroft: But stay tuned

Iago: Well obviously

Iago: Nita doesn't like shooting people who are shooting at her

Mycroft: Krakens don't count but I don't think they were as sentient

Iago: "I'm a wizard, not an engineer" goddammit /again/?!

Mycroft: Yesss

Iago: I shall take myself off to the laughing corner

Iago: Oh god self-destruct at the Crossings

Mycroft: Kind of a terrifying prospect

Iago: Nita just blew up a giant gun

Mycroft: Yesss

Iago: "High-fiving a giant centipede can take a while."

Up next on Winning Understatements....

Mycroft: That is so fun to picture

Iago: I know!

Iago: "I don't wear socks."

"Just as well. You'd bankrupt yourself."

That is /also/ fun to picture

Mycroft: As an antidote to the tense battle scene, have a bunch of centipede leg jokes

Iago: Pretty much

Iago: Wait

Iago: /Carmela/?!

Mycroft: Hahahaha yesss

Mycroft: THE GLORIOUS RETURN

Iago: What

Iago: WHAT

Iago: Okay, Sker'ret just /swallowed/ the self-destruct panel

Mycroft: He's got a talent for that kind of thing

Iago: Which, I mean, okay, great way to not lose it

Iago: But

Iago: Can't he digest, like, /everything/?

Iago: And the self-destruct sequence is still going?

Iago: What happens if he takes too long to get the panel back out?

Mycroft: Rirhait stomach work in mysterious ways

Iago: ...is that the canon explanation or your way of saying "don't think about it too hard"

Mycroft: Yes

Iago: Why did I let you talk me into this

Mycroft: Because it's awesome, come on

Iago: Ugh

Iago: *quiet noises of agreement*

Iago: "So I took steps." CARMELA

Iago: (Carmela is the reason I let you talk me into this.)

Mycroft: That's the best answer

Mycroft: This book is Peak Carmela honestly

Iago: *whispers emphatically* Juanita Louise

Mycroft: Yessssss

Iago: Carmela just referred to Filif as "my favorite Christmas tree" and Carmela is all of us in that moment

Mycroft: So true

Mycroft: Filif is tree-mendous

Iago: I fucking hate you so much right now. :b

Mycroft: :D

Iago: "We are on errantry, and we greet you."

"Not that you particularly /merit/ greeting." Nita pls

Mycroft: She's earned the right to some snark, I'd say

Iago: Clearly

Iago: "You get more honey with flies. Wait a minute, that's not how it goes." CARMELA PLS

Mycroft: Oh my god

Mycroft: Get ready for another legendary Carmela moment

Iago: IS SHE BRIBING THE TAWALF WITH CHOCOLATE

Iago: FUCKING SHIT YES SHE IS

Mycroft: YEAH

Mycroft: And now you know why this book made Carmela everyone's favorite

Iago: I'M SO PLEASED WITH THIS

Iago: I mean Dairine is always going to be my eternal favorite but yeah Carmela's a close second

Mycroft: Relatable

Iago: Oh my god now she's threatening to /eat/ the chocolate right in front of them I'm crying

Mycroft: I KNOW RIGHT

Iago: Ponch the almond spider is trying to catch his non-existent tail

Mycroft: Omfg I forgot about that

Iago: It's a hilarious picture

Iago: I think I just witnessed a cult gathering

Iago: "You let me worry about this planet, and I'll let you worry about all the others." HARRY CALLAHAN IS BEST DAD

Mycroft: THE VERY BEST

Iago: NO

Iago: NONONONONO

Iago: TOM AND CARL HAVE FORGOTTEN THEIR WIZARDRY

Mycroft: AH YOU'VE GOTTEN TO THAT PART

Mycroft: WELCOME TO HEARTBREAK CITY, POPULATION YOU

Mycroft: And also Nita

Iago: S E N D H E L P

Iago: Wait are Rirhait mostly purple

Iago: Because if yes than they are my new favorites

Mycroft: They also come in blue, green, and pink, but yeah

Mycroft: I'm pretty sure Sker'ret in particular is purple

Iago: Well I saw that but the book makes a point to say that there are a /lot/ of shades of purple and I fucking love purple

Mycroft: You're in luck, then

Iago: "I would never lose my balance. I am a paragon of grace and stability."

"Oh, yeah. Who said /that/?"

"Roshaun."

Someone help me

Iago: I cannot

Mycroft: Pffft

Mycroft: Classic Roshaun

Iago: Kit is hiding his eyes from "sex stuff" and I'm laughing

Iago: "My dog brings home strays." Kit your dog is a fucking gift

Iago: A ducking gift who knows how to work a situation to get dog treats

Iago: And...and then he gave the treat to the Yaldiv that he brought home.

Iago: Ponch is a good dog.

Mycroft: Ponch is a good dog

Iago: "What is it with these Callahan women that they're always after yelling at you and giving you grief?"

"Not always. Just when it's going to get most on your nerves."

Kit just be glad Nita isn't here because she'd sock you

Iago: Oh

Iago: Oh shit

Iago: Just head the story of the dogs' Choice

Iago: And

Iago: everything is fine

Iago: EVERYTHING IS FINE MYCROFT

Mycroft: E V E R Y T H I N G I S F I N E

Iago: "Even when people mean to do good things, bad things happen in the world."

"They're happening already. Pretending they're not won't help."

Memeki the almond spider is speaking to my soul I'm gonna go start a revolution now

Mycroft: Yes please do

Iago: ALMOND SPIDER ATTACK OH GOD

Mycroft: I'm greatly enjoying your dedication to calling the Yaldiv almond spiders

Iago: NITA AND CARMELA TO THE RESCUE FUCK YEAH

Iago: WAIT WAS THE "THING" NITA WAS SUPPOSED TO GO BACK AND GET ACTUALLY /CARMELA/?!

Iago: BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE THE FUCKING GREATEST

Iago: Also

Iago: What does it mean that Memeki was honored by the Great One

Iago: Is she pregnant

Iago: Is she being nommed from the inside

Iago: Oh. Oh shit. What does Memeki mean by "my time"

Iago: CALLED IT ASSFACES

Iago: I mean

Iago: She's not currently getting et

Iago: But

Iago: Eggses

Iago: EGGSES, PRECIOUS

Iago: ACK NO WHY WITH THE MEMORIES OF BETTY I AM NEVER PREPARED FOR THOSE

Iago: Okay apparently the thing Nita was supposed to bring was /not/ in fact Carmela but rather hEART-WRENCHING MEMORIES OF HER MOTHER'S DEATH

Iago: Oh god Carmela is yanking Kit's chain about having found a manual and I'm experiencing emotional whiplash halp

Mycroft: Carmela is dedicated to yanking as many chains as possible, the audience's included

Iago: THEY'RE ALL LOST THEIR WIZARDRY SEND HELP

Iago: ROSHAUN IS ON HIS DIGNITY SEND A DIFFERENT KIND OF HELP

Iago: *inhuman screeching*

Iago: ACK NO YOU ABSOLUTE WANKHOLE GET YOUR DIRTY POWERS OFF CARMELA

Iago: "Oops," said Carmela...and, very slowly, smiled.

Mycroft: OOPS

Mycroft: The holy grail of Carmela badass

Iago: *screams a lot*

Iago: *so much screaming*

Iago: Oh, now This Bitch is rising from the ashes, because obviously

Iago: *snarls a lot*

Iago: *basically continuous snarling*

Iago: RONAN

Iago: R O N A N

Iago: *screams forever*

Iago: *interrupts eternal screaming for a breath* oh yes Sker'ret is in fact purple *continues screaming*

Iago: ROSHAUN WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Iago: ROSHAUN

Mycroft: ROSHAAAAUN

Iago: *still screaming*

Iago: WHAT THE HAP IS FUCKENING

Iago: WHY IS THE TRANSCENDENT PIG HERE

Iago: WHY IS PONCH A SHADOW DOG

Iago: P O N C H

Iago: PONCH IS SUCH A GOOD DOG

Mycroft: PONCH IS THE BEST DOG

Iago: *cries forever*

Iago: *is also still screaming*

Iago: TOM AND CARL ARE BACK

Iago: BUT ON THE OTHER HAND PONCH

Iago: PONCH

Iago: PONCH IS BACK

Iago: HE'S A SHEEPDOG NOW BUT HE'S PONCH

Iago: TOTALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS THE ANIMALS THAT GET TO ME

Iago: IT'S THE END OF THE BOOK AND THE DOG TECHNICALLY DIDN'T DIE

Mycroft: The dog did the opposite of dying, ultimately

Iago: PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I COLLAPSE ON THIS BED AND SOB WITH JOY

Iago: Okay I'm going to go collapse in an emotionally exhausted heap and probably read all of A Wizard of Mars tomorrow. So. Be ready for that.

Mycroft: CONGRATS you made it to the last stop on the emotional roller coaster that is Wizards at War

Mycroft: You win a free trip to Mars

Mycroft: Where definitely nothing will go wrong

[awed-frog]

hey! i wanted to let you know that i think your cas/stages of grief meta was absolutely amazing. cas's story never really made sense to me, it always seemed so inconsistent, like they had no idea where they were going with it, and your meta is the first i've read that made me see some central theme in it after all. so kudos for that :) just out of curiosity, you have any idea where they're going with crowley? bc his story is another one that always felt the opposite of straightforward to me.

Whats your hope for Crowleys arc on this season?

Hi! Thank you so much for all that! I am the most awful person, because not only I’m like, two months late in answering this but I’m also going to bundle it up with an anon ask. Sorry, @andallthewildthingsroared!

(I did write the overly long thing I promised you, though, so there’s that.)

I understand where you’re coming from - Crowley’s arc is sort of zigzaggy, but if you take away what was clearly bad characterization (such as that one-off threat to Sam complete with red eyes which never went anywhere), I sort of feel like we can know who Crowley is, and what he wants.

Background

So, just as a summary - we know he was a bastard, and that he had a stable enough relationship with his mother that he remembers her (not fondly), and that she up and left soon enough that it felt like she was abandoning him (eight is a bit soon to fend for yourself, even in the seventeenth century). We know he had a son, and since Gavin’s mother is never mentioned, I want to say unremarkable entity who died in childbirth? Because if this had been his great love, and if she’d survived long enough to be remembered by Gavin, I hope to God that would have been brought up in the narrative (come on). So, either Crowley didn’t give a damn about her, and got saddled with the kid for some reason, or he cared a lot and she died pretty early on and that’s possibly the reason he started being so awful to everybody (hello, John Winchester’s parallels). We also know he was a tailor, which, in those times, and for an orphan, implies either that Rowena used magic to help him out (unlikely for a number of reasons) or that he was actually a very smart, very talented kid who had to work his ass off during his apprenticeship, as was usual for the times. In this case, we’ve got someone whose life was out of his control from a very young age, and who knows what it’s like to be at a master’s whim. 

Demon deal

Now, what doesn’t fit with this picture is the idea a kid like that would sell his soul for a longer dick, as Crowley boasted to have done (also, as amusing as it is, this would be a moot point by now, since Crowley’s in a different body). What I consider more likely is that Crowley’s current vessel - the literary agent in his late forties possibly all work and all play as that job often entails - tried to make a similar deal (and that would be a reason for Crowley to stick with the body afterwards; after all, we know he’s vain and likes to sleep around, so, vessel for vessel, why not go for a bigger dong?); as for Crowley himself, I really can’t guess what happened. Gavin remembers him as a useless drunkard, and he certainly had no riches to pass on - so much so, Gavin was forced to emigrate to the Colonies. What did Crowley gain, exactly, in exchange for his soul? An intriguing possibility is that, like Dean, he took the deal to save someone else - perhaps Gavin himself from some childhood fever - and became a drunk asshole out of blind panic the closer he got to the deadline. I like this explanation, because there was always this weird pull between Crowley and Dean, and this would go a long way towards explaining it; but, really, this is one of those things it’s useless to speculate about - either the show will tell us, or it won’t.

(Another possibility I like, but which would have come up by now, is that Rowena sold her kid’s soul to pay for her own magic - a plot bunny I explored here.)

Whatever his reasons, Crowley’s time in hell took this primal lack of control over his own life and made it a thousand times worse. We still don’t know, exactly, how demons are created, how long it takes, and who decides which eyes you’ll get, and which job you’ll do. This is, like, one of the 2000 things the show could get into instead of inventing new lore (I’m not complaining, though - S11 was magnificent, and S12 has been very good so far). What we do know is that the entire process is excruciatingly painful; that it distorts, or takes away, your human soul. If we think about other soulless creatures we’ve encountered, what Crowley is makes a lot of sense. It’s not about being evil, exactly; it’s more about a lack of caring and empathy. There are moments where Crowley actually reminds me of soulless!Sam - like when he pushed Dean into Cain’s arms just because it was convenient on the short term. 

Crowley the crossroads demon

Becoming a demon is also the worst kind of punishment, we should assume, because it completely takes away your free will.

(This is not exactly true, since we’ve seen a lot of demons doing stuff on the side and betraying their masters left, right and centre - but I want to think those demons breaking ranks parallel the mess that’s going on in Heaven - that these are creatures that, under normal circumstances, ie, pre-Winchesters and pre-Apocalypse, functioned as mindless servants under a king. Like angels, demons can, theoretically, think for themselves, but I feel like they’re not designed to? Although, where the angels craved order - and orders - Crowley was hoping to get support by promising other demons ‘a say, a virgin and all the entrails they can eat’ - which means demons are perhaps not as happy as angels to give up their agency. And, well, it would make sense: they do not belong to a different species, after all. They used to be human.)

And so we’ve got the transformation from human!Crowley, indentured to some abusive master as a boy, to demon!Crowley, who’s got no choice but to follow his torturers around. Except, well, Crowley’s smart (too smart for his own good, probably) and ballsy and free will is something he cares about, very fucking much (and this is another tie to Dean). From what we know, it looks like Crowley schemed and schmoozed his way into acquiring enough weapons, knowledge, powers and secrets that he was almost part of the inner circle which was preparing for Lucifer’s return. And here is where his story gets interesting, because, to get Roman about it, “We rob the world, but he will rifle the deep. If the enemy be rich, Lucifer will be rapacious; if he be poor, Lucifer will lust for dominion; he will make a desert and call it peace.”

Crowley and the Winchesters

I don’t remember if it’s ever explained why Crowley chose to bet on the Winchesters, of all people, to go against Lucifer. I think we’re meant to not question this - to assume that they’re our main characters and fierce hunters and yadda yadda, but it’s still interesting that Crowley would know them - and well, at that. I like to think they’d been on his radar from the very beginning (or, at least, that Sam was) because of Azazel’s demented scheme, and it’s certainly possible Crowley knew everything about their dealings with Hell, including Sam’s death, Dean’s self-sacrifice, and how and why he was saved. He’s been shown, after all, to be one of the most knowledgeable characters on the board, and if he’s been keeping track of the Winchesters for years and years, that would go a long way in explaining his fond exasperation for their antics. 

Now, Crowley is, of course, fascinating and interesting in himself, but what is also worth noting is that his character, like Cas’ (and perhaps even more than Cas’), is relevant in light of his relation to Dean - and Dean’s sexuality.

The first thing here is - unlike Cas, who, inevitably, had a very strong relationship with Dean from the start which made perfect narrative sense, Crowley could always go either way. It can even be argued that logically, it would have made more sense to pair him off with Sam. First of all, there’s the symmetry (Dean and his angel, Sam and his demon); then there’s the fact Crowley’s got more in common with Sam than he does with Dean - the books, the art, the interest in weird languages and weirder mythology, a general ‘the end justifies the means’ attitude - I know we now have years of backstory to influence how we view those characters, but if we take them in isolation - sure, Dean and Crowley would have fun on a night out (and we’ve seen what they do together: play pool, get drunk, sleep it off with a various number of partners of unspecified gender), but Sam and Crowley - now, that had the potential of a real friendship of the minds (as I said, forget about their history and put aside Crowley’s shady morals for a second - can’t you see how much fun they would have had to explore the Bunker’s library together? how they could have planned thefts, Leverage-style, to recover some painting stolen by an oil magnate - how they would have fought at the end, because, of course, Sam wanted to donate it to a museum and Crowley, well, was planning on keeping it, because he0d bloody well earned it?). Sam becoming friends with a demon after the whole Ruby ordeal would have been a huge bout of character growth, in line with his ‘forgive and don’t judge people by their birth’ personality. And as for Crowley, it would have made sense for him to bond with Sam rather than Dean - if only for the obvious reason: Sam could still be (potentially) his future boss. The boy with the demon blood; the only vessel that can hold Lucifer. Honestly, since Crowley never wanted to be king in the first place, it would have made perfect sense for him to seduce Sam (platonically) and then guide him to the throne - there, problem solved. He would have been chief advisor of The One Who Was Foretold, right there at Sam’s right hand to keep an eye on his every decision, and he would have known, because he would have taken the time to get to know Sam, that Sam (even as a demon king) would be a fair ruler - and, more importantly, a ruler loyal to his old friends.

It was, really, the perfect scheme - and yet the idea never came up at all. In fact, Sam and Crowley lost another momentous occasion to get closer to each other - even after Sam fed Crowley his own blood, the relationship between them remained distant at best, and hostile at worst. That always struck me as really, really weird. Sam saw Crowley at his most vulnerable, and despite being Mr Forgiveness, he continues to hate Crowley with a vengeance and the whole thing never comes up at all. Uh.

I mostly think the main reason for this is very simple: Sam ‘I desperately need my own plotline’ Winchester is straight. Very straight. Pairing him with a man would have been weird. Mirroring the relationship Dean has with Cas - weirder. The thing worked until Ruby was around, but with Crowley they would have missed a lot of juicy subtext. And so, once again and despite all odds, Dean got yet another character to add to his court, and Sam was left with nothing more than Lucifer’s mild interest in him (or, as Sam himself put it in entaglednow’s side-splitting series, “Great, you get the epic love story and I get the creepy sadomasochistic non-con.”).

(This is another reason, by the way, why their refusal to be clearer on the whole ‘Dean is bi’ issue is hurting the show: it is partly, or mostly, because they’re desperate to keep that subtext going that Dean gets all the characters - people like Charlie, or Benny, or even Jody offering him to talk in her most suave mom voice - all of these things make sense in the narrative because they’re feeding the underlying subtext. And since this is, objectively, a Big Story and the core of who Dean is, and Sam’s only stake in it would be a tragic ‘I know I said I’d die for him, but I’ll now reject my gay brother out of moral virtue’ nonsense which clearly doesn’t apply to the character, he’s left with literally nothing to do. Really - most of the story seems to gravitate around these two open secrets - Dean’s sexuality, and Dean’s love for Cas; and since, as I said, Sam’s got nothing to do with either, and no reason to be mad about either, he’s left with no narrative role. Only yesterday @tinkdw was saying how the entire myth arc of S11 doesn’t make any sense without Destiel, and she’s perfectly right; most things, for a lot of time, have been about Dean’s heart.

And I want to add that I’m not okay, or happy, with any of this. First, I think it’s dishonest to include so much subtext that it basically props up your whole narrative while denying anything’s going on; and second, Sam’s a fantastic character and there’s a lot he could do - it defies logic and reason that they’re not using him better. Like, I still can’t believe the entire God reveal was only about Dean, that we still haven’t heard how Sam feels about Lucifer being around, that he’s barely had one conversation with his mother, and that he basically has zero relationships with other characters. Come on - there’s so many awesome things you could do with someone like Sam, why aren’t they doing them? On a show that’s supposedly all about the two of them, and only the two of them?)

Crowley’s arc

By having Crowley’s represent Dean’s eros to Cas’ agape (and I want to say this is a learned reference, but I’m really just thinking about YOI right now), the main mirror for Crowley, and therefore his character arc, was firmly established. Crowley would parallel Cas - and viceversa. The journey, for both of them, is to get closer to humanity (and ‘humanity’), and what’s been fascinating is that, of course, they start off in two very different places.

As I said in the beginning, Crowley’s all about control. He’s very Scarlett O’Hara about things, and he’s got good reason to be. In this, he’s heavily paralleled with Cas, but where Cas focuses his newfound (?) free will on everything but himself - hence the Jesus-like characterization - Crowley’s most consistent character trait is his selfishness. All of his schemes, and most of his ambitions, are ultimately directed at saving himself and avoid pain and death, which, to be honest, would be sensible from anyone’s point of view but is particularly understandable if we consider we’re dealing with a soulless creature who’s got no capacity to love and has endured decades, if not centures, of torture. What is most significant about Crowley, therefore, is the same thing that makes Cas stands out: how Crowley is learning about himself, and how to become who he truly is, through his love for Dean. This is something that we discuss every other day, so I won’t get into it (see for instance the ‘drowley’ tag on my blog, or read here, here or here), but it’s clearly become a major part of his character arc. 

(His decision to sacrifice that spear to save Cas, for instance, was a huge step in this direction - selfishness to selflessness - so huge I still can’t believe I watched it with my own two eyes. It will probably be mirrored, quite soon, by Cas making a step of his own - in his case, towards selfishness, ie, the Winchesters’ happiness, and therefore his own, and away from yet another idiotic heavenly battle plan.) 

As for what will come of it - the problem with this kind of Are you truly my enemy? characters - or, well, the trouble with everything - is that there is a limited number pf ways their story can end. And, again, the problem with Crowley and where his story is going is the same problem we have with everything else - Dean, Sam, Destiel and so on: it all depends on which kind of story this is, and what they’re trying to say with it. So, let’s have a look at it.

A) Crowley could remain his slightly evil self and die because of it - this would place Supernatural in a kind of ‘moralistic’ narrative: the good guys triumph, and the bad guys pay the price.

B) Or, he could try to do the right thing and get killed in the process: that’s the definition of tragedy, which somehow works even better when a character was despicable to start with - think Last of the Mohicans, or Severus Snape. In this case, his death would likely be the first (or the last) of many other significant characters.

C) Another possibility is that Crowley could become human, and that would be both interesting and heartbreaking to watch, because we know Crowley is very ambitious, but, as I said, my headcanon is that he became wary and power-hungry because of what was done to him in Hell. After all, Dean did get a kind of special treatment, but what he went through was also the standard procedure to destroy someone’s soul - so drunken tailor Fergus was probably on the rack for decades, until the last shred of humanity left inside him burned and withered, and it’s likely that at some point he had his O'Hara moment and that’s why he always puts himself first: because he’s bloody scared shitless to be vulnerable again. In this sense, a human Crowley would be resentful and terrified - and therefore, a beautiful character to watch.

(Not that there would be anyone left to watch, since if they go there, I think they’ll do it at the last possible moment.)

D) Or, Crowley could remain a demon but shift his priorities so completely as to work with the Winchesters full-time, sort of like Cas did. Now, this would be quite something because Cas and Crowley are often paralleled, but at the same time it would put Crowley in a difficult position: I am sure Sam and Dean would fully accept him as a member of TFW only if Crowley repented and behaved like an unpstanding citizen from then on, and how is all that compatible with being the king of Hell? Plus, what would happen to the other demons? Was Crowley making more demons when he had complete control of Hell? We know he turned Hell more bureaucratic and 'punishment fits the crime’ and whatever, but his demons were still eating human flesh, and I’m not sure they can even survive without? So, well, however noble Crowley’s intentions, that would be an uneasy alliance. If Crowley remains his lovable and snarky demon self, I see more of an Eric Northman ending for him: sure, he gets his throne and all sort of pretty distractions, but he loses his Sookie forever.

E) And finally: Crowley could be killed in a freak ‘accident’, maybe by an ally of the Winchesters who didn’t know he was sort of a friend (Mary is a prime candidate), or by Cas or Sam because of the greater good, or maybe even by Dean himself - but not by choice - and that would be a sort of fridging because it would shift the meaning of his death to the damage it’d do to his killer.

Which hypothesis is more likely? 

Well: first of all, we need to bear in mind a few RL factors. They’ll probably want to keep Mark around because he’s awesome, the fans generally like him so that’s another plus, and I firmly believe they still don’t know how they want Supernatural to end (or even what the next season’s theme is going to be) so a character like Crowley is a godsend, because when weird shit needs to happen or you suddenly need drama or whatever, you can always count on someone like that to make it happen (and that’s another reason why I don’t think Crowley will become human any time soon: it would severely limit the weird shit they can pull off) - which means, it’s likely they’ll keep him around for a while. And also: his death would bring nothing, narratively, to the table. For instance, John’s death and Bobby’s death sort of made sense, because the boys had some growing up to do, and killing someone like Cain or defeating Lucifer was important because it told us our boys are on the Good side even when it’s difficult, but now we know all this. 

To me - if we’re looking at the very end, there are only two ways this makes sense: either Crowley is killed off, or sacrifices himself, in some heartwrenching scenario so that his death will mean Cas or Dean or even Sam lives, or he becomes human - my headcanon is that he’ll still know how to do magic, because I’m a sucker for magician!Crowley - and walks away from the boys entirely. If Supernatural ends in tragedy, then it’s the first option all the way; but if its end is more like, there are no more monsters and you’re now free to open a car repair shop, then it only makes sense that both Cas and Crowley become human. Cas will be the sort of human who still stares up at the sky from time to time and will lie to Dean when Dean asks and say it’s okay (hopefully, Dean won’t believe a word of it and kiss him extra hard that night), and Crowley - Crowley likes to be the centre of attention, so I’m thinking politics. Or maybe he’ll hoodwink his way to the very top of a renowned auction house and meet some wealthy widow at his local golf club, and that will be it - a sort of happy ending, and the occasional drunk call to Dean to reminisce about that happy, happy summer they once had.