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drivinmeinsane · 1 year ago

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Shot Through the Heart

※ Colt Seavers x GN!Reader ※

{ masterlist } ※ { ao3 }

※ Summary: You've worked with Colt off and on for years, building an easy rapport with the stuntman. The rest of the crew sends you to check up on him after he's bad off following a stunt that seems to have caused his nearly career-ending injury to act up.

※ Rating: T for suggestive themes.

※ Content/Tags: Fluff, Caretaking, No use of y/n, Mentions of old injury, Budding Love, Pre-Relationship, Solely based on the official trailer uploaded to YouTube by Universal Pictures

※ Word count: 3,052

※ Status: Oneshot/Complete

※ Author's Notes: The devil works fast but I work faster. That three and a half minute long trailer sure possessed me. Needless to say, I'm excited for the movie's release in a few months.

The setting sun is blinding you on its long journey below the horizon. You squint against the light at the block of apartments as you pull your vehicle into a stop alongside the curb. You really hope you’re at the right location. You’re not sure if you trust your crewmates to have given you the right address. You honestly did not really want to be here at all. Many of the crew for this particular production had worked with Colt before, so it really was wildly unfair that you had been unanimously volunteered to check up on the man after he was a no-show for the past couple days. Sure, he had called, but no one had actually laid eyes on him to verify his condition.

You put your car into park and open the door to step out into the evening heat. You immediately feel smothered by the warmth, and you reach across your center console to grab the items crowding your passenger seat. You withdraw, burdened, and nudge the door closed with your knee. You manage to hit the lock button on your key fob before you duck into the small parking garage. A flood of relief washes over you when you immediately spot Colt’s obnoxious brown and yellow truck. There are surfboards still resting in the bed of the vehicle. It’s parked haphazardly with no regard for anyone else’s need for the space. You’re in the right place at least. You skirt around it, eyes scanning for apartment numbers. You mutter his unit number under your breath while you look for it. You’re juggling a heating pad, multiple ice packs, and a bag of food. You’re not sure what you’re going to be walking into.

After what feels like an eternity of searching, you finally locate what you hope is his front door. With your hands full, you contemplate figuring out how to knock. You finally decide to just bang on the wood with your elbow. There’s no response or any whispers of movement. You sigh and hit it again, more aggressively. You know he’s home. The lifted monstrosity in the parking garage is proof enough. He avoids going anywhere without it.

You double down and are in the middle of hammering on the door for a third time when you finally hear muffled cursing gradually getting louder as the apartment’s occupant gets closer. To your relief, it’s Colt Seavers himself who yanks the door open hard enough you’re briefly worried he’s going to pull it right off the hinges. You open your mouth, about to launch into a bantering complaint about how he left you to rot on his doorstep when you register what exactly you’re looking at.

The man crowding the doorway is wet, straight from an interrupted shower. His shaggy, blond hair is falling into his eyes. The light from the setting sun reflects an orange glow on the water droplets racing down his body. He looks like he’s on fire. You drag your eyes from his obscenely exposed chest to his face. You try to pretend that you’re not talking to a very damp, very naked man preserving the last dregs of his modesty with only a towel wrapped around his narrow hips. You’ve just agreed with yourself not to acknowledge how large his hand looks clutching the fabric.

“Where’s the fire?” He asks. His annoyance fades away at the realization that you’re the one bothering him out of the blue.

“The guys sent me on a welfare check. We haven’t seen you in a few days.”

“I’m clearly alive so you’re welcome to-” He pantomimes you leaving by walking his fingers in the air “-report back that I haven’t died yet.”

“Welfare, not proof of life. Besides, you look like shit and I brought some supplies.” You argue, raising your arms to show your wares.

He looks like he’s thinking about pushing the issue, but he deflates, exhausted. He purposely lets out a dramatically weary sigh and gives you only the barest amount of space to get past him. You squeeze through the door, grazing against his wet arm. You hear him close and lock the front door behind you while you openly gawk at his apartment.

“You live like this?” You ask, slightly aghast. The place is a mess. There are plants and exercise equipment everywhere. The stuntman hovering behind you clearly has his priorities.

“Sure do. Just going to go finish rinsing off. I’d say make yourself comfortable but you’re already on your way,” he remarks, casting an amused glance at the way you’re wobbling while trying to extract yourself from your shoes with no hands.

You frown at his back as you watch him skirt around you and head in the direction of his bathroom. He’s moving jerkily, almost stumbling. His back is definitely messed up. You really hope it’s something that you will be able to assist with in some capacity. You know first hand how stunt work takes a toll on the human body.

Following the sound of a television, you manage to make your way to the living area. You shove over some electrolyte packets and gardening tools on his coffee table to create room for the bag of food that you made for him. The heating pad and ice packs get dumped on the floor next to one of the legs. As for yourself, you settle in on his couch to wait. You’re not surprised to see that he’s left an Indiana Jones movie playing on the screen. It seems like the kind of thing he would watch.

From the bathroom, you hear some muffled complaining before the shower kicks on. The sound of the rushing water does little to cover the noise of the shower curtain hooks on the rod as he wrestles with the material. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, thankful you didn’t hear Colt fall trying to get over the edge of the tub. The last thing you wanted was to wrestle your naked crewmate while on the phone with emergency services.

Only a few minutes pass before the water cuts off and you hear the door open. You can’t help but notice that you didn’t hear the sound of his bedroom door closing. There’s just the sound of footsteps and rustling fabric. He emerges, wearing a pair of garish pajama pants. He’s still distractingly shirtless, because why wouldn’t he be? It’s not as though he has a guest that is trying very hard to be normal about this entire situation. There’s a towel draped over his bare shoulders in the effort to contain the mess produced by his sopping wet hair. Trails of water are running down his neck and soaking into the cloth.

Colt practically drags himself over to you. He lowers himself onto the cushion at your side, and makes an effort to avoid leaning against the back of the couch. You turn to face the blond man, taking a hard look at him. He looks even worse up close than he did when he greeted you at the door. Exhaustion is deepening the fine lines in his face and his eye bags nearly have their own luggage.

“How are you doing? Really?”

He gives you one of his goofy grimaces and flashes a thumbs up. He can’t hide the wince as movement pulls at his back muscles. The look you give him in return is unimpressed.

“Can you even function?”

“Barely,” he says with a groan as he tries to get a little more comfortable. He still looks painfully stiff.

You suppress the urge to give him a comforting pat on the leg and instead lean over to dig the meal you had brought for him out of the bag. You shove a tupperware container, a wrapped sandwich, and a plastic fork at him until he takes them. He looks bewildered.

“Eat. The dressing is in the small container hanging out in the salad greens.”

“Did you make this yourself?”

“I’ve worked with you enough times to know how you are, so yes.” You admired the man’s discipline, but it had been cause for concern while you desperately scoured your kitchen looking for something to make that wasn’t going to fall under the umbrella of junk food.

“Maybe I should reinjure myself more often then,” he says with a smirk and raises his eyebrows. You don’t dignify him with a response.

He balances the container of salad on the armrest next to him and sets to work on unwrapping the sandwich. It’s grilled chicken breast with a truly ridiculous amount of lettuce and tomato. You hadn’t dumped condiments on it, not wanting it to get soggy during the car ride.

“I’m here to play nursemaid so can I do something about all of that? '' You gesture to his dripping hair and his hunched over body.

He looks up from the sandwich like he’s holding something precious in his hands. “You made me this. You can do anything you want with me. I’ve only got a few limits.”

You roll your eyes at his suggestive tone before rising up onto your knees. You shuffle closer, knees mere inches away from grazing the outside of his thigh. The towel slips freely from his shoulders and he doesn’t complain when you drape it over his head. You gently work the material over his hair. Colt starts in on the sandwich while you work carefully to dry him without putting unnecessary pressure or movement on him. You take a corner of the towel and wipe away the water that has trailed down his face and his neck. You don’t go any further down than his collarbone not daring to drag the fabric over his chest. You have to cling to some level of professionalism between coworkers. He leans into the touches in the areas you are willing to wipe dry. You pretend not to notice.

He eats like he’s been starving ever since the last day you and the rest of the crew had seen him on set. He probably had been if he was still in this bad of shape days later. You leave him to start in on the salad. On your way to hang the towel over the shower curtain rod to dry, you stumble over a stray weight that had been left in the middle of the floor. You manage to suppress your pained noises despite the tears leaping to your eyes. Why had you been volunteered for this? Your crewmates had been suspiciously giggly and evasive when you had protested. They had just made excuses and jokes about how you were Colt’s favorite person and you being the one to check on him would make his day. What a load of crap.

“What do you usually do for your back?” You ask, coming back into the room and trying to not let on you nearly had your own medical emergency just out of sight.

“Just uh… stick the tens on it and stretch it out.”

“Gotcha. Finish that up and we’ll start on your back,” you tell him. You crouch down next to the coffee table and gather the ice packs. You won’t be using them today. The injury has sat for too long.

“Thanks, nurse,” he responds around a mouthful of greens.

You cross the apartment and pull open the door to the freezer. You cram the ice packs onto an already sizable stack of them sandwiched between the freezer wall and bags of frozen vegetables. The refrigerator itself is covered in receipts, bills, coupons, business cards, brochures… You’re really not sure how Colt is able to find anything. You suppose that it’s all his own brand of organized chaos.

You make your way back to the living room in time to see him clamp the lid back on the tupperware container. You give your head a little shake. The man inhaled an entire sandwich and a salad in under fifteen minutes. Impressive. You hope his stomach handles going from zero to a hundred with more grace than yours would. You don’t feel like holding his hair back while he vomits.

“How do you want to do this? Floor, couch, or bed?”

He twinges his back when he twists to look up at you. You’d laugh if you hadn’t felt a sting of worry at the way he winced. You know Colt’s a tough man. You have seen him take hit after hit over the past few years. He must be hurting badly to be showing this much sincere discomfort. You’ve seen him ham it up as a joke, but this was the real deal.

“I’m glad one of us thinks I’ll be able to get off the floor. How about you take me to bed, beautiful?”

He heaves himself off the couch and you trail after him into his bedroom. The floor is messy like the rest of the house. You’re not sure if he’s always this disorganized or if it was just something that has resulted from him not being able to keep up with it due to his back. Given the state of his fridge, you’re strongly considering that it’s the former and not the latter.

“How do you want me?” The flirtatious tone isn’t quite coming through as intended with him standing like he’s auditioning for the starring role in a live action adaptation of the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

“On your stomach, please. Do you have lotion or anything I can use on you?”

He groans as he makes his way onto the bed and lays face down. He’s unable to relax, the muscles in his back are too tight. “I have some vaseline in the bathroom. Right drawer.”

You set the heating pad down on the bed next to him after plugging it in. You make another trek to the bathroom to search for the aforementioned vaseline. It’s not hard to locate and you manage to dodge the weight this time. You’re not about to wreck your foot on it again. Once was enough.

You settle on the bed next Colt, careful not to jostle him. You swipe your fingers though the vaseline to collect a sizable dollop of the substance. You set the container aside and liberally coat your hands with what you had scooped out. Your eyes catch on the long scar running alongside the stuntman’s spine. It’s pink and raised, a fairly old wound but not old enough to fade to silver. You weren’t there when Colt got the injury. You’d been on another set halfway across the world, but the things you’d heard months later from people who had been present when it happened weren’t good. He had nearly died and if he had… you would have just been left with memories spanning the hours spent with this cocky man. You would have likely said a few words at his funeral, if you had even been able to make it, and that would have been the end of Colt Seavers. He would be just another stuntman who died doing what he loved. The thought puts a pit in your stomach. You push it aside, he’s still alive and he’s waiting for you to get on with the program.

The initial touch of your hands against his bare back causes you both to tense up and go deathly quiet. Your pulse is hammering in your years and you swear you can hear the sound of his throat as he swallows. You try to not knee him in the side as you start to massage the expanse between his broad shoulders. It’s not long before he’s melting into the mattress, relaxing under your touch. You work him over, section by section. You gently knead the raised line of scar tissue, helping to discourage the excess building of collagen. A little lower and he’s groaning when you carefully dig your knuckles into the skin above his waistband, forcing the tight muscles to yield. He’s limp and unresistant when you catch him by the hip and pull his pelvis in your direction to better align his spine.

Thankfully, you spot an already dirty shirt nearby. You pick it up and wipe your hands on it with a grimace. Most of the vaseline has either ended up on the man currently face down on his bed or had absorbed into your palms, but you still didn’t want to risk tracing it through the house before you slathered your hands in dish soap to remove any oily residue. As a final token of care, you lay the heating pad across his lower back and turn it on the medium setting. You’ve done all you can do for him.

Colt is so still and quiet that you’re sure he’s fallen asleep. You turn away from him and inch towards the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb him while you begin your exit from his apartment and back to your vehicle. You nearly leap out of your skin when he shifts enough to catch hold of your forearm. His hand is so large that his middle finger and thumb nearly touch.

“Please stay.” He sounds tired, vulnerable. There’s no charisma or bravado to his voice.

You feel your face soften as you take in his words. “All right.”

You scoot back towards him and lay down on your back at his side. The bed is barely big enough for the both of you like this. It’s intimate, too intimate, especially since your arm is still in his grasp. You can’t bring yourself to mind. The line between being coworkers and whatever this is was blurred a long time ago anyway despite your best efforts to tell yourself otherwise. You're starting to realize your crewmates might have been more aware than you were. Those assholes.

When Colt rises up onto one elbow and leans over, taking all the time in the world to project his intentions, you don’t turn from him. You just bring a hand up to brush his still damp hair out of his face. You guide the stuntman the rest of the way in, your hand migrates to cup his bearded cheek. The kiss you share is inevitable and unhurried. It feels as natural as breathing.

#the fall guy (2024)#the fall guy #colt seavers #colt seavers x reader #ryan gosling #ryan gosling character #the fall guy fanfic #colt seavers fanfic #my work #my posts

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mysecertdiaryofableedingheart · 28 days ago

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A Lil Office Romance 5

Terry Richmond X Black Fem OC (Troi)

No warnings: Light heart fluff. A little flirty

For the first time in well, ever, I'm actually sad it's Friday. The weekend meant no lunches with Terry, no playful flirting, and no hearing his enjoyment of my specialty-curated desserts.

"Well Wifey, I don't know if I'll survive the weekend without my daily sweets" Terry nudged my shoulder as we entered the parking garage.

" Terry you ate almost a dozen cookies between today and yesterday. Your blood sugar is probably through the roof!" I couldn't help but chastise him while hitting the key fob to unlock my 2016 Rav4.

"Troi, you got me addicted; you can't have me going through withdrawals," Terry said, reaching to open the door for me. The week of unfiltered attention from Terry deepened my crush. He's such a gentleman, barely even letting me carry my purse and playfully swatting my hand away from door handles so that he would always be the one to open them for me.

"Two days won't kill you, Terry a little detox might be good for you" I couldn't help but tease taking my purse and cardigan from his outstretched hands

"Now Pretty girl why would I need a detox from you? " Terry's eye flickered down to my exposed thighs now that my skirt had ridden up from sitting in the driver seat " Could I kidnap you for one day to get my fix" his tongue peeked out to moisten his bottom lip.

Maybe 15 seconds had passed before I could find my voice again. " I'm not opposed to that. But I'm boring. I don't know if you wanna waste your weekend with me," I chuckled, trying to chase away the sight of his tongue running across his lip.

"Troi trust me, you couldn't bore me if you tried. How about I call you tonight and run my plans by you" Terry tapped the top of my car backing away enough for me to be able to close the door.

I rolled my window down so that he could see my nod of agreement.

Terry

Maybe I laid it on a little thick, But hey Troi is oblivious to the effect she has on me .. shoot anyone. I couldn't be sorry with how Troi rewarded my heavy flirting with her glazed-over eyes and parted lips. I could now confirm she wants me as badly as I do her.

Watching her pull off and receiving a small wave and smile. I couldn't help but start to run through my plans to wow her over the weekend.

As bad as my appetite for Troi physically, my need to make her smile is winning out.

Troi

"Mommy, what am I supposed to do here asked me to lunch on Saturday in the park" I couldn't help but whine over the phone to my mom.

"Girl, what do you mean supposed to do? Go! Let that boy take you out! " my mother snapped playfully. I may have gotten my looks from her but my personality couldn't be more the opposite where I lacked in her personality my reserved Father took up.

I could hear my daddy grunt in the background, "What's the boy's name again? I need to run a background check on him before you go anywhere"

"No daddy you will not!" embarrassed welled up inside of me from the thought of Terry finding out my dad did a background check on him "we work for the same company, he couldn't have gotten the job without a background check!"

"Vern now hush getting her all riled up, baby go ahead where that lil green top you showed me a minute ago" Momma corrected my father and reassured me all in the same breathe "And tell me all about when you come back"

"Okay, Mama" I shouted back digging into my drawer for the mentioned top and jeans that matched.

♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️

Saturday 11am

Terry

A newly required blanket and picnic basket, all I needed to do was wrap the pink peonies Troi let slip were her favorite flowers

A newly required blanket and picnic basket, all I needed to do was wrap the pink peonies Troi let slip were her favorite flowers. Only 1 hour until they meet in Daffin Park for our date.

I couldn't believe I was nervous, I felt like I was in high school preparing for my first date. I loaded up my Ford F150 to head over to the park to set up

12:30pm

Troi was now sporting a slicked-back ponytail a green knitted top with green resting on her hips. She waved excitedly as she spotted me under the oak tree. I knew she hadn't seen the flowers hiding behind my back.

"Terry I love the picnic basket I didn't know they even made these things anymore." She gushed setting her bag on to the blanket.

Pulling the flower behind my back to present to her

Troi's grin was the best reward as she reached for the bouquet "I love them, I can't believe you remembered"

Helping her to sit down I replied "Of course, I remember everything you tell me" and I did the little glimpse I got into her world was embedded into my memory over the last 5 days.

Troi played with the handle of the picnic basket clearing her throat. "Umm, what's in here to nibble on?"

♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️

Troi

It felt like I was on cloud 9 Sitting with Terry. Crumbling up the wrapper to my Publix sub. I set it into the bag.

"Now Troi answer me this, Is anyone be mad I'm sitting here with you right now?" Terry was leaning back to rest on his forearms as he gazed over at me

"Yeah" I chuckled "My Daddy he doesn't think I should have male friends until I'm 40" recalling my dad's desire to run a background check on him

"You know Pops don't gotta be mad, I ain't trying to be your friend" Terry chuckled darkly

"What? Terry, of course, you're my friend. My Dad is just an ornery old man who's too overprotective" I leaned across the blanket parallel to him.

Terry shifted his upper body so that our shoulders were touching "Troi, I'm trying to be way more than your friend. pretty girl" my senses were invaded by the smell of his cologne and the subtle heat of his shoulder. I couldn't think straight at his admission of more than friends. "Is that okay with you?"

Troi

Nothing Even Matters by D'Angelo and Lauryn Hill poured through the speakers of Terry's lifted-up F150 truck. Pulling into my driveway I couldn't help but pout at the end of my time with Terry coming near.

"Don't you touch that door, pretty girl. I'm coming around"

I took a deep breath to prepare myself for Terry to invade my personal space. I knew I was going to need him to hold on to cause getting out of his truck without falling was dang near impossible.

Terry was over in a flash open the door to reveal his muscular tattooed arm wait to help me out.

His large hands almost covered my waist as he handled me with ease out of the passenger seat. "I had a good time Terry, thank you for the picnic" finally having my feet firmly planted

His hand was still resting on my waist, as he looked down at me closing the small gap that separated us.

"Pretty girl, I should be thanking you. Making my Saturday worthwhile" his hand came up to cup my neck. " you know you never answered me about being more than friends"

My mind completely went blank due to Terry's thumb gently stroking where my ear met my neck.

♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️

Terry

The sound that came from Troi, made my pants uncomfortably tighten. "You gonna be a good girl and use your words Troi?" She nodded her head "Words pretty girl?"

In a breathy whisper Troi finally found her answer "Yes, I wanna be more than your friend too"

I couldn’t help but dip down to kiss her right cheek. "We gonna work on defining that a little more" I took a step back to put a little distance between us before I took it way too far.

Troi surprised me by wrapping her arms around my neck causing me to crouch down so that she wouldn't have to strain on her tippy toes. Her soft lips connected with my cheek returning the display of affection.

"Alright pretty girl, I gotta let you go now before I kidnap you foreal" I reached to open the back seat to hand her the bouquet. Watching Troi walk backwards towards her door I couldn't help but smile. Maybe she is as down bad as I am for her.

Taglist: @blackwomanarebeautiful @dimepiece09 @vinicinha @ovohanna24 @blackpinup22 @disc0fairy @slippinninque

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bardoftheshire · 1 year ago

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This is also another one that hasn't been requested, but the FOB brain rot is real guys. Anyways, this one isn't exactly age accurate I guess?? More so of an AU if anything.

How Misery Loved Me

Patrick Stump x Fem! Reader

[Tumblr did it again and ruined the quality of my gif..]

Summary; I don't know how to write summaries for works that aren't requested, my bad, guys this is my own fault, especially when I know I have asks.💀

Notes; I'm sorry it's another fem reader but school is piling up and finals week is coming up and I still want to write, but fem readers are easier right now. I also just gave the girl that went to the dance with Pete a random name. (This is one of the corniest and most cliché things I've ever written).

Warnings; Mutual pining, foul language, some angst, and there's multiple pov changes.

Word Count; 10,307

0:54 ──ㅇ─────── 3:00

"So, which one do you think looks better?" You ask, turning around to look at Patrick, who was sitting on your bed.

"That one's nice, but I think the second one you wore was better. But seriously, I think you should pick which one you want."

"That's the thing though; I don't know which one I want to wear because I like three of them," You say, falling face down onto the bed in the spot where all the previously discarded dresses were.

"Then take all the other dresses out and pick just those three, and then we can narrow it down to what you want," Patrick says, looking down at you.

You groan and turn over, then get up again, beginning to pick all of the other dresses except for the three that you liked, hanging all of the other ones back up and putting them into your closet.

You take the three other dresses with you behind the divider you had in your room, changing into one of the dresses and walking back out.

"Okay, this one has a pretty colour and it's comfortable, but I think it's just a little too short for my liking, so I think this one can go." You say, looking at yourself in the mirror, smoothing out the dress.

You walk back behind the divider, changing into the second dress and hanging the other one back up.

"This one is a perfect length, and it's a nice colour but the straps constantly fall off my shoulders, but I think if I were to sew them to fit me, or even just safety pin them to my bra, it would probably be okay."

You do the same as you did before, going back to the divider, changing into the other dress, and walking back out.

"This one is comfortable, and it fits good, as well as a good length, but I'm afraid that it's going to end up being too much." You say, looking at yourself in the mirror and turning around.

"That's the one that I liked. I don't think it's too much, though. It looks nice on you," Patrick says, scooting farther back onto the bed.

"So, should I wear this one or the other one?" You ask, looking down at yourself, feeling the material of the dress in between your fingers.

"I think that one,"

You nod, smiling as you go back to behind the divider, changing into your pyjamas this time and laying the dress down nicely for Friday's dance, then putting the other one away into your closet.

After doing so, you close up the divider and lay down on your bed halfway with your legs dangling off of it. You close your eyes and listen to the music playing from your CD player, nodding your head to the song.

You open your eyes slightly, looking up at Patrick and admiring his features. His hair was medium length, with those sideburns that you adored so much. Oh and his smile, he could light up a room with that smile. His eyes were such a pretty blue.

You see Patrick look down at you and then quickly look away when he sees that you were staring at him, you doing the same.

You quickly sit back up from your bed and walk to your player to change the CD.

"I still haven't completed the math homework that's due Thursday and was thinking about what other ones I still had to do. Have you done them yet?" You say trying to get rid of the awkwardness, taking your Catalyst CD by New Found Glory out of its case, then taking the other one out of the player and replacing it, pushing the play button and turning up the volume dial.

You turn back around and see Patrick's eyes widen.

"Oh shoot! I forgot about that! What was it again?" Patrick asks, his hands covering his face.

"We just have to do the problems on page 27 from our books, it's not that hard but I can let you copy mine if you want, I'm not done with it yet so you'll have to finish the rest." You say, walking over to your bag to get your book out.

"That would be awesome, I'll just copy them down on a paper if you don't mind it,"

"Knock yourself out, 'Trick,"

You place the book down onto your small desk in the corner of your room. The desk had scattered sheet music, old graded history and english papers, a table lamp and pencil jar placed on the left, and your closed laptop sitting in the middle of the desk.

The wall it was facing was decorated with old concert tickets and wristbands, framed pictures of you and your family, as well as unframed pictures of you and the rest of the boys, most of them of you and Patrick.

Patrick walks to the desk, sitting down in the chair and grabbing one of your blank lined papers from a spot where more sheet music books were stacked up.

You sit back down onto your bed, humming the beginning of All Downhill From Here to yourself and picking at the fibers on the plush throw.

"Has anyone asked you to homecoming yet?" Patrick says, still looking at the book and copying it down.

"No, not yet. I honestly wouldn't mind not getting asked and just hanging out with you and the rest of the guys though,"

"Really? I'm surprised no one has yet. But Pete has a date to homecoming now actually so I think it would be just me, Andy, and Joe together," Patrick says, placing the pencil down and turning around in the swivel chair.

"Pete got a date? Did he finally ask that girl?" You ask.

"Yup, he lit her yard on fire with the word "homecoming?" and she said yes," He explains.

"He lit her yard on fire?! I don't know about her but if someone lit my yard on fire to ask me to some dance saying yes would be the last thing i'd do, I think that's just common sense though, or at least it should be, but apparently not for her!" You exclaim, looking at Patrick in shock.

"Yeah, I told him it was a bad idea too and he still did it. I've got to give it to him though, at least he was confident enough to do that and it actually got him a date," Patrick laughs.

"Are you going to ask anyone to the dance?"

"I want to ask this one girl, but I don't think I'm going to end up actually doing it, I'm not as confident as Pete is when it comes to that sort of stuff," Patrick says, spinning around in the chair.

Ouch.

"Anyways, I should probably get going now though, it's going get dark out soon and my curfew is coming up, I don't need my mom yelling at me again," Patrick says, getting up from the chair and walking over to you.

"Oh shoot, have you really been here that long? I didn't mean to keep you here that long, sorry about that," You say, getting up.

"Don't apologise, I like hanging out with you, it's much better than just sitting in my bed reading comics the whole time. I mean, I love those comics but again, I much prefer hanging out with you instead," Patrick says awkwardly.

"Okay, get going though, it'll be too dark for you to walk home soon enough," You say.

You give Patrick a hug, him leaning down a little bit as he was just ever so slightly taller than you.

"Alright, bye Y/n, I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you for letting me copy, you seriously just saved my ass," Patrick says, opening your door and leaving the room.

You close the door and sigh, sitting at your desk, finishing the last three problems you had, then turning off your lamp and CD player.

You get your bed ready to sleep in, putting the extra pillow on the floor and get under the covers.

I'm so stupid, he's nothing more than a friend and it's always going to be that way, stop creating these stupid thoughts in your head.

You sigh and close your eyes, falling asleep within a few minutes.

---------------------------------------

-Patrick's POV-

"Dude just ask her. If you don't ask soon then some other guy will. Homecoming is tomorrow, she's going to get asked, Patrick, believe me." Pete says, leaning against the lockers next to mine.

"I don't know, Pete. I mean, if she says no then it's going to be awkward between us or something, I don't want that." I say, rummaging through my locker for my math book.

"Believe me, Patrick, she'll say yes." Pete puts an arm on my shoulder and gives me a look.

I sigh and close my locker, not being able to find the book. It's fine, I didn't need it right now anyways. I'll have to look for it when I get home though.

The bell rings and I walk to my class with Pete, him departing ways with me shortly after as he had a different class this period.

God I really don't want to be here right now.

Ding! -"Good Morning everyone! Today is Thursday and it's currently 20 degrees out. The yearbook club is meeting today during lunch, as well as chess and game club. Those that need to retake their photos have today and tomorrow to do so, and those that need to retake any midterm tests will do so next week on Tuesday in the Algebra classroom or room B213. And now for the most exciting announcement; homecoming is coming up tomorrow and tickets are still being sold during lunch time, so maybe get yourself and a special someone a ticket as they won't be sold at the door. Those that are helping plan the dance will need to meet in the student lounge until Friday. Have a great day, and once again buy those tickets!"- Click!

'Ugh. Another reminder that I still don't have the balls to ask her out to the dance.' I think to myself, pinching the bridge of my nose and getting all of my things out for the class.

I sit through the class, taking notes as the teacher talks, ignoring the balls of scrunched up papers being thrown across the classroom. The class seemed to go on so much longer than it usually felt like it did, but maybe it might be the rowdiness of my classmates.

I finish the class and continue to go to all of my other periods until lunchtime. Finding my regular table with everyone else and place my bag down and head to the lunchline, which was almost always shorter except for Wednesdays as the food tended to be much better then everything else all the other days.

Honestly though, most of everyone's lunch breaks are just spent waiting in line unless you either got lucky enough to be first or if you brought your own lunch for the day.

After standing in the line and finally getting my tray, I head back to the table.

"...No, no, no, no, no. You don't understand guys, this is like, the first time I've ever been asked to any kind of dance ever. This is huge for me!" Y/n exclaims, slamming their hands on the table.

"I don't know man, the guy that asked you is kind of an asshole," Andy says, everyone else other than Y/n agreeing.

Shit, I should've listened to Pete.

"Come on dude, you're really gonna ditch me, Patrick and Andy for some guy that you've never had a conversation with?" Joe says as he continues chewing on his sandwich.

I place my tray onto the table, sitting down in between Pete and Y/n in the seat that I was always in.

"Pat! Hold on I was looking for one of my CD's this morning when I was getting ready and found this under one of my blankets I had on the floor. I think you might've left it the last time we studied together." Y/n says, pulling a large math book out of her bag and handing it to me.

"Oh shit, thanks, Y/n. I was looking for this earlier this morning," I say, taking the book from her hands, looking at it for a second and then placing it inside my bag.

"Yeah no problem. Oh, oh! You'll never guess what happened during the second passing period," She says excitedly, grabbing my left shoulder and shaking it slightly, then patting her hand quickly on it.

"What happened?" I ask, taking a bite out of the sandwich on my tray of food.

"So, you know that guy Mark in our chemistry class right? He kinda has like this dark brown semi-curly hair, the one that always wears that letterman jacket,"

"The guy that pushed me directly into that one girl because I wouldn't give him my notes?" I say, swallowing the bite of my sandwich and opening my carton of milk.

"He did that to you?" Y/n asks, gently placing her hand on my back.

I dismiss her hand, "That doesn't really matter, did he ask you to the dance?"

Y/n's face had a hurt look, one that I couldn't quite place my finger on. Her face then softened, continuing with what she was saying.

"But uh, yeah. He asked me if I wanted to be his date to homecoming and I said yes. He's not a bad looking guy so I figured why not," She finishes, giving a small shrug.

I nod slowly, staying silent as I continue taking bites out of my sandwich, listening to everyone else talk about their own things for the remainder of the lunch period.

I get up and throw my tray with everyone else, grabbing my bag and waiting for Y/n at the table so we can walk to class together.

How come you always have to chicken out on things like this? If you don't start saying something soon to her she's going to-

A sudden light punch on my arm brings me out of my trance, I turn to see Y/n and gently punch her back, smiling at her.

"You okay, Pat?" She asks, a soft smile on her face.

I nod my head, starting to walk with her to our next class together. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just got lost in my head for a second there". Y/n hums and continues walking, pushing past everyone else in the crowded hallway.

Does it make me a bad friend for not being completely happy for Y/n, anyone would be but I can't seem to shake off this feel of jealousy in my body.

Me and Y/n enter the classroom, going to our shared work table and place our bags down on the floor next to it and take our seats.

"What did we work on yesterday in this class? I dozed off," Y/n whispers.

"Oh, I could tell. Did you know that you snore?" I say jokingly.

"Oh shut up, I was out for forty minutes, but can you please tell me what we did?" Y/n says sarcastically, giving me a light punch in the arm.

"We just had a study hall for class. Mr Hadford didn't feel like teaching so he just told us to do whatever, so you're fine unless you absolutely needed to work on something else,"

"Good to know," Y/n places her head onto my shoulder.

---------------------------

-Reader's POV-

"Come on, Y/n. Are you sure you really want to go with Mark Anderson? The guy is a douche, you've seen how he treats people like us!" Pete exclaims.

"What do you mean by people like us? Pete?" I ask, turning around from my desk to look at Pete.

Pete was over at your house because you two wanted to hang out together. He was in the same spot that Patrick sat in your bed the other night. You couldn't help but feel slightly upset with yourself that you agreed to go with mark instead of asking Patrick to go with you. Or instead, hoping Patrick would ask you.

Sure, it'd always been fun just going with the rest of them, you guys just did your own thing and stayed together, dancing how you wanted without caring if other people thought it was odd, because all five of you always had fun.

But for once someone had actually asked you, wanted to go with you, and to be honest, some terrible part of you wished that Patrick would get jealous and ask you to go with him instead.

"You know what I mean by that, Y/n. We've always been the geeks no one else really hangs out with, we've always been the only ones that hang out with each other, because be honest with yourself, when was the last time we ever talked with other people for more than a class period?" Pete explains.

You turn away, going back to what you were doing before. You hated that he was right. Why would some asshole jock ask you in the first place, you'd never even talked to him until earlier, and the conversation lasted 2 minutes at most.

"I didn't mean to be mean, well, maybe just a little, but I have a bad feeling that Mark didn't have good intentions when asking you." Pete says, getting up from the bed, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"But what if Mark is being genuine? What if I said no and missed out on something that could be serious?" I sigh, turning to face Pete.

"But Mark really isn't the best person at all. I mean, he's done something shitty to most of us by now, who knows if he'll do it again, or to you.. As your friend, I don't want you getting hurt, and neither would the rest of the guys, especially Patrick, and you know that. At least I would hope you do,"

"I know, I know.. It's just, ugh god. I mean, you can't say anything, you asked that poor girl by lighting her front yard on fire!"

"So? At least I'm a better guy than Mark Anderson. The guy is notorious for being a douchebag, don't compare me to him." Pete says, falling down onto my bed dramatically.

God, Pete is starting to make me question my decisions, maybe I should listen to him, what if Mark really does have bad intentions.

"I can't believe you didn't ask Patrick to go with you. You know he wouldn't have said no, right?" Pete says, his arm over his eyes.

"When he was here the other night I asked him if he was going to ask anyone to the dance and he said that he wanted to ask this girl. I didn't bother after that, if he already had someone in mind I wasn't going to ask, I don't want to be that type of girl. I've seen other girls do that to guys and it either makes them feel like they're being pressured or in an awkward sort of position." You sigh, finishing organizing the plethora of loose sheet music on your desk and placing it in a folder.

"Whatever man. All I'm saying is that you could've said no to Mark and hung out with the rest of the guys. You didn't have to go with him."

"Piss off, Wentz. I don't want your shitty advice, it's just making me feel worse," You say annoyed.

"I had the balls to ask someone I liked to homecoming, you didn't. You made a mistake and still insist that 'oh come on Pete, he can't be that bad, even if he made your guys' lives miserable, I'm pretty sure he'll be nice even if we haven't ever talked to each other, I want to give this dumb asshole a chance.' And to be honest Y/n, you're kind of a dumbass for that." Pete was now standing up, stopping in front of you two feet away, rolling his eyes and mimicking you.

"Get the fuck out of my room, Pete.." You say, your voice starting to get that raw feeling and tears threatening to form in your eyes. You felt stupid for starting to cry over something you started.

Pete storms out of the room closing your door, you could tell how annoyed he was by the sound of how loud his footsteps were, then leaving your house with a slight slam of the door.

What he said hurt. A lot. And just as before, you hated how right he was, how he was able to tell you every single thing you could've and shouldn't've done and he was still right. He acted like an ass but you knew it was with good intent and that he didn't want you to have the possibility of getting hurt, he was like an older brother in that way, but it pissed you off that he felt the need to scold and talk to you as if you were a child. How did something as simple as hanging out with each other turned into an argument so quickly?

You were too frustrated at that point, and on top of that, homecoming was the next night. God I'm an idiot, I need to sleep..

-Timeskip the next day-

The girls in the hallway giggled and talked to their friends about how excited they were for homecoming. How they were going with their boyfriends or how someone cute or popular asked them.

Despite how excited everyone was around you, you remained nervous and the feeling of anxiety only grew stronger every step you took down the hallway, finally making it to Patrick's locker where Andy, Pete, Joe, and obviously Patrick were standing.

"Good morning, Y/n, or not such a good morning..? Are you okay, man? You look like shit," Joe says, reaching across to examine your face.

"Thanks, Joe. Good morning to you too, I'm just fine," You say, swiping at his hands to get them off of your face.

"Hey, Y/n," Patrick says, giving you a small wave with a smile on his face. Gosh he was always so cute without even trying.

"Hey, Patrick, good morning," You say, mustering a small smile despite how you currently felt. "Good morning, Andy. How are you guys feeling other than excited like the rest of everyone else?" You ask, letting out a sigh.

Groans emit from everyone except Pete, one would know exactly why.

"I don't know, man I'm pretty excited, shouldn't you be too, Y/n? Are you excited to go with Mark?" Pete says, looking at you with a grin on his face.

"Sure, whatever you say, Wentz." You say, glaring at him.

The bell rings throughout the hallways, everyone starts to scramble to their classes, seemingly still talking to their friends about the dance as they do so.

"Me and Andy gotta go to pre-cal, we'll see you guys during lunch. Try not to die from excitement," Joe says, walking down the hallway, giving a monotone "woo-hoo".

We all depart and walk to our separate classes. Math was probably one of the worst first classes to have, or more specifically Trigonometry. It wasn't even that you hated it, but rather the kids in it. They were loud and were often rowdy, and the teacher didn't care enough to say anything about it, and today you knew it was going to be much rowdier than most days. And when you walked in, you were exactly right.

You sat at your desk, placing your bag down and grabbing your book out of it. One more day until winter break starts, just one more day until you don't have to be around this chaos and sleep in.

The class went by quicker than it usually did, you just finished some problems in your workbook and listened to music on your iPod to drown out the sound of your classmates not very quietly talked to others.

After finishing your other two periods you walked through the hallway to get lunch.

Someone from behind grabs your shoulders and gives them a squeeze, "Boo," the voice says quietly. You turn around to see Pete standing in front of you

"Oh uh, hey, Pete." You say, adjusting the straps of your backpack awkwardly.

"Hey, Y/n. I'm sorry about last night by the way, I was kinda being a dick to you and said some things to you that would've been better if they were left unsaid. I don't want our friendship to go to shit so I wanted to apologise." Pete says, looking at you sympathetically.

You sigh and look up at him, "I'm sorry too, Pete. You were right and it upset me that you were, I also don't want there to be any sort of tension between us. I'm honestly kinda glad we resolved it,"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pete asks, smiling as he begins to walk with you to the lunch line.

"Well, I mean I could've totally lived without being your friend, you're not all that important or whatever," You sarcastically reply.

"Pfft, I think I can say the same for you too, L/n," Pete says and gives you a small punch to your arm.

Both of you get lunch and then head to your usual table where just Andy was sat, reading an issue of Uncanny X-Men with one of his earbuds in.

"Hey, Andy. You're not gonna get any lunch?" You ask, placing your tray onto the table and sit next to Pete.

"Nah, not right now. I'm gonna wait for the line to clear up so I can finish this," Andy replies, taking his other earbud out and wrapping the cord around his iPod.

"Where's Joe and Patrick? Did they come by yet?" Pete talks with his mouth full, shoveling the spaghetti on his tray into his mouth.

"No, they haven't come by yet, I'm assuming both of them got stuck in computer lab, I heard the teacher's an ass so I wouldn't be surprised if they did. Hey, does the spaghetti come without the meat in the sauce or is it just that?"

"Ah okay, thanks, Andy. Yeah they have just the tomato sauce, the meat is an add on type thing," You reply, taking a bite of your food.

Andy gives a nod of affirmation and continues to read the comic in his hands.

You and Pete continue to eat, Andy soon finishes his comic to go get lunch and comes back shortly after.

"Have Patrick and Joe still not come by yet?" Andy says, as he sits back down in his seat and sets his tray down.

"Nope, nothing yet," Pete replies.

Worry began to set in your stomach, nothing could've happened to the two, except maybe Joe getting in trouble and dragging Patrick along with him.

You decide to pull your phone out and ring Patrick and after a couple of rings it goes to voicemail. You hang up and look at your phone for a moment before closing it.

"Patrick leaves his cell on silent during school, try Joe instead, or you could always go look for them." Andy says, swallowing a bite of his pasta before talking.

Shoot you forgot about that. You open your phone back up and dial Joe's number, it doing the same thing as when you tried Patrick's number.

"I'm gonna go look for them, do you guys wanna come with?" You ask, getting up from the table.

Pete looks at Andy then back at me, "Nah, I think we can just stay. Me and Andy still have to finish our food,"

You nod and walk out of the lunch hall, heading down to upstairs building C to get to the Computer Lab. Once you were at the classroom you knocked on the door, not long after the teacher opened it.

"What is it you need?" The teacher says seemingly annoyed.

"Have you seen Patrick and Joe? I believe they have you as their 3rd bell and I haven't seen them." You ask, slightly intimidated by the teacher's height and demeanor.

"They're in lunch detention right now, actually."

You let out a small 'oh' and thank her before walking back to the lunch hall. Wow, Andy must've been right about her being mean.

You return back to your table and sit back down next to Pete, sighing. "They got themselves stuck in lunch detention,"

"What? How did they do that?" Andy says, Pete snickering next to you.

"I don't know! I went to the computer lab, knocked on the door, then asked the teacher if she'd seen them or knew where they were and she just told me that they were in lunch detention," You explain, running your hands through your hair.

Pete is now laughing even louder and so is Andy, now you can't help but laugh a little with them too.

Lunch finishes and all three of you dump your trays. You grab your bag and start walking to your 4th bell History class.

As you walk in you see Patrick sitting at the table you two share with his head down. You walk to it and place your things down and sit next to him.

"What happened, Stump?" You say, placing a hand on Patrick's arm.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Patrick says with his voice muffled from still having his head down.

"Alright, I won't pry about it, but you have to put your head up so that way we can work. I can't have a partner if he's got his head buried in his arms the whole time." You chuckle, taking your hand off his arm and getting your things out of your bag.

The rest of the day went by and soon enough you were in your room blasting AFI's Sing The Sorrow album as you got ready for the dance.

You had the dress that Patrick helped you pick out and some simple makeup on, just a little bit of eyeliner on your waterline and a light coat of mascara on your bottom lashes, just leaving your top lashes curled.

You pause your music and put the CD back into its case, grabbing your phone on your way out of your room.

You spot your dad sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal, "Hey dad, how do I look? Does it look okay or should I change something about it?"

"Hey, kiddo. You look nice, that looks just fine. Let me take a picture before you head out, okay." Your dad gets up from where he was sitting and gets the camera out

You stand in front of an empty space where paintings he made were the only thing that adorned the walls behind you. You smile and he takes the picture, then he comes next to you and takes a picture of both of you.

"Alright, have fun and don't do anything stupid. Take your coat too, it's cold out." He says as he gives you a hug.

You grab your coat and tell him bye before going outside. Joe was your ride to the dance, so you waited outside for him to come. In a few minutes he pulled up with his hand me down 1998 Toyota Corolla, Andy sitting in the passenger seat.

"Hey, Joe, thanks for taking me. Hi, Andy," You say, getting into the backseat of the car.

"No problem. You stoked for it? Your date is that Mark guy, right?" Joe asks as he begins driving.

"Yeah, I guess."

"You seemed to be stoked about it yesterday, what's wrong now?" Andy asks.

You shrug your shoulders and sigh, regardless of the fact that they couldn't see you. "I dunno, I just- feel bad about leaving you guys, we've been going with each other the past two years now. And on top of that Pete won't be there either because he has a date too."

"Don't worry about us, Y/n, we'll be fine, and you can always come with us and hang out if you get tired of Mark," Andy says and Joe nods in agreement.

"It's not really that, I guess. I mean, I didn't get to ask the guy I wanted to and just kinda said yes to Mark even though I didn't want to go. To be honest the guy is a dick and I've seen how he reacts to other girls rejecting him, and I just didn't want him to spread gross lies about me like he did with the girls that said no to him."

I was stupid for saying yes, but I would've also been stupid if I said no. It was a lose, lose situation and my grave was already dug when he asked me. I'm hoping that he just ditches me and says that it was a joke that he asked me, that no one would ever ask me. You wanted to get out of that situation even if it meant him humiliating you in front of a crowd of other people. You knew that's exactly what would happen if he did do it.

"Why didn't you ask the guy you wanted to before? We had like, two weeks to do so." Joe asks, his eyes still focused on the road.

"Honestly, Joe, I don't know."

Other than the soft music coming from the radio, the rest of the ride to the school was quiet. All of you get out of the car once you make it to the car lot and park. Joe locks his car and you guys walk to the building that leads to the gym, all three of you giving your tickets to the teacher that had a table set outside.

You head into the hall and tell Andy and Joe to go on ahead while you wait for Mark. You felt uneasy about it, just as you thought on the way here, hoped that he would come to say something about you and ditch.

Mark arrived and greeted you and walked next to you until you were inside the gym. You see Pete and wave to him, then spot Joe and see Patrick peeking over to wave to you. You smile and wave back to him but it was cut short as Mark took your arm and pulled you to a spot where other guys and girls he often hung out with were standing.

God, this is not gonna be a fun night..

He introduces you to his friends. Some waved but most of them snicker and sneer at you. You shuffle in your spot uncomfortably as all of them talk to each other, not really knowing who they were and not wanting to be included in the conversations.

The band that was supposed to start the dance off with one song started to play and everyone began to clap to the beat of the beginning.

'She says, she's no good with words but I'm worse. Barely stuttered out a joke of a romantic stuck to my tongue,'

These guys are pretty good, holy shit.

'Way down with words too over dramatic. Tonight it's "It can't get much worse," Vs. "No one should ever feel like"'

You would like to dance and enjoy the music but it just wouldn't feel like it does when you were with the guys. You had no clue what to even do, you just kinda, stood there as everyone in the group just continued talking to each other.

'Dance, dance. We're falling apart to halftime. Dance, dance. And these are the lives you love to lead. Dance, this is the way they'd love, if they knew how misery loved me,'

"Hey, uh, I'm gonna go to the food table, alright?" You tell Mark awkwardly.

"Yeah, uh-huh, whatever, go do what you need to." Mark says, dismissing you with his hand and immediately going back to his conversation.

'Why don't you show me a little bit of spine. You've been saving for his mattress, love,'

You walk to the table, having to push past the crowd before getting there. You grab a cup and pour some punch into it, then grab one of the dessert cups and a spoon.

You sit at the bleachers to eat the dessert and drink your punch, throwing the empty cups and spoon into the trash once you were done and grab a dessert cup for Mark then head back to where he and his friends were.

You tap Mark on the shoulder and raise the dessert cup to him, motioning that you got it for him. "I got you one of these while I was over there."

Mark looks at you with a look on his face you can only decipher as disgust and destain. "I don't know how someone such as you can think that anyone other than your weird little friends would actually want to be next to you. I thought you were supposed to be the smart girl and somehow you still didn't get it." Mark says, laughing at me. His friends doing the same.

'Why don't you show me a little bit of spine. You've been saving for his mattress. I only want sympathy in the form of you. Crawling into bed with me,'

You look at him for a brief few seconds with a blank look on your face before shrugging. "Yeah, that's fair enough, but if you wanted a reaction out of me like all those other girls you could've at least tried a little harder. Thanks, man." You say before walking away, the dessert cup in your hand. You walk back to the table to put it back so it wouldn't go to waste and head to the bleachers. You see Andy sitting, reading one of the comics he brought with him.

You head over and sit next to him. "Hey, Andy. What are you doing here by yourself? Where's Patrick?"

"I could ask you the same. Patrick's in the mosh pit." Andy says, pointing to the pit that formed in the middle of the crowd.

"He's what? How'd that happen? He's not one for that sorta stuff. I'd expect that from Pete," You laugh.

"I think I saw someone drag him in. He was just kinda dancing by himself, I saw some girl slap Joe in the face earlier too, we can only guess why," Andy sighs, setting his comic down.

"So, what happened with Mark?"

'Dance, dance. We're falling apart to halftime. Dance, dance. And these are the lives you love to lead. Dance, this is the way they'd love,'

"He asked me just so that he could embarrass me in front of his friends," You shrug.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry that happened, dude." Andy says.

"Oh I'm fine, it only bothered me a bit but most of it was because he included you guys into it. I'm glad it happened, I get to hang out with you guys now, that is if Patrick comes out of that pit alive." You say, laughing at your own words.

"That's good, I'm glad you're okay," Andy says, picking his comic back up and continuing to read it.

'Dance, dance. Dance, dance. Dance, dance. Dance, dance.'

The song ends and the dance circles and small mosh pits begin to empty, most of everyone else going to their own group as the band starts taking all of their stuff down.

Joe makes his way to where you and Andy were sitting, a glass of punch in his hand. "Oh hey, what's up, Y/n?"

"Nothing much. What earned you a slap on the face by the way?" You ask, Andy snickering next to you, his nose still in his comic.

"We're not going to talk about that, okay.." Joe responds, rolling his eyes and taking a sip out of his cup.

Pete makes his way towards you guys with his date and introduces her to you guys. You wave and say hi, introducing yourself to her as well. She seemed like she was a nice girl.

"Y/n, what happened to Mark?" Pete asks, his hand holding the girl's.

"He just asked to try and embarrass me in front of his friends. It didn't bother me though, I was kind of expecting it honestly. I just walked away after telling him it didn't and came over here and just hung out with Andy," You explain.

Pete gives you a knowing look as a way of saying "I told you so," without saying anything. You roll your eyes at him in response and look at Amy. "So, I'm just curious, what made you say yes to Pete when he asked you to homecoming by lighting your front yard on fire?"

Pete looks at me and then back at Amy. "You don't need to answer that, how about we go and get some punch?" He says. Amy giggled as he began to pull her along with him. He glared at you before he walked away with her.

You stand up and groan a little from your aching feet that the heels were causing, turning around to look at Joe and Andy before telling them you were going to look for Patrick, earning a thumbs up from Andy.

You push past a few people to try and look for him, finally spotting him talking to some girls and then them walking away giggling and whispering to each other.

You walk up behind him and cover his eyes with your hands. "Guess who?" You whisper into his ear.

"I guess Y/n." Patrick chuckles.

You remove your hands from his eyes and he turns around, adjusting his glasses a little bit.

"You look good, Pat." You say, smoothing out his suit jacket with your hands.

"Thanks, so do you." Patrick responds. Both of you look at each other for a few seconds, not paying attention to anything else going on around you. You look away in slight embarrassment, stepping back a little and clearing your throat.

"How was your first mosh? And how did you not die?" You laugh.

"I was just kinda thrown into there unwillingly but I guess it was cool, a little more aggressive than I thought a mosh pit would be, especially for a high school homecoming pit, and I fell once and then left after that happened," Patrick says, looking at his shoes.

There was another awkward silence. You'd known each other for almost 4 years and this is probably the one time where you two didn't know what to say to each other.

"If you guys are done being weird, we were all going to get the picture taken before it starts to get too crowded," Joe says, standing in front of you two and motioning to go with him. You thanked him in your head that he broke that silence

You and Patrick follow Joe to the wall that had a fancy background for students to take pictures, where the rest of the guys, including Amy, were standing waiting for you.

"God, we've been waiting ages for you guys. What were you doing that took Joe so long to find you two?" Pete scolds. He sounded like a mother that had a teenager stay out too long after their curfew and was upset with them. Pete was just always kind of the parent of the group, though. Surprising for someone that acted like such a child sometimes.

"Shut up, Pete. We have people behind us that want to take a picture too, just get the picture taken and then we can do whatever we want afterwards." Joe says, pushing you and Patrick forward to the area as Andy hands the teacher his digital camera.

Everyone gets into their spots, Pete was next to Amy and had his arm around her waist, Joe and Andy stood next to each other smiling, and you put your hands on Patrick's left shoulder and leaned on him like you always did with these photos and smiled. The teacher counts down and takes a couple pictures to get some good shots.

"Do you guys want to do a silly one or are you all too old for that?" The teacher asks.

Everyone says yes and we all get into a new position. Andy and Joe made a heart with both of their hands and leaned towards each other like they were going to kiss, Pete and Amy had their tongues sticking out, and Patrick was holding you bridal style and you put your right arm up in a sort of cheering motion. The teacher then took those pictures and when she was finally done you all got out of position and thanked the teacher as Andy got back his camera from her.

"Let's see, did they get the pictures better than they got them last year..." Andy whispers to himself, but just audibly enough to where people next to him could hear.

You laugh to yourself as you recall last year's pictures. The teacher that was taking them took nothing but blurry pictures or ones where some of us had our eyes closed, there was only one picture that was decent enough that we printed out for ourselves.

You all look over Andy's shoulder or arm as best as you could as he went through the pictures, deleting a few blurry or bad ones here and there, and laughing at the shots of the funny ones.

"We actually got good pictures this year, guys. I'll look through them some more and print out the best ones for all of us." Andy says, turning off his camera and putting it with the rest of his stuff.

"Are you gonna want some prints too?" Andy asks Amy.

She looks at Pete for a second, and then back at Andy, "Yes please, that'd be great."

Andy sends back a thumbs up to her, and Pete takes her back to the "dance floor". That is, if you could even call it that.

"Alright, I'm gonna go find a girl to dance with, maybe more than just to dance with if I'm lucky. Peace!" Joe says before walking away.

"I don't know about that, but maybe you'll be lucky enough to earn a punch to the face this time," You call out, earning a glare and an angry grumble from Joe.

There was a silence for a minute or so after you laughed at what you said and the reaction you got from him. But it wasn't an awkward silence, just one where there was nothing to say afterwards.

Patrick takes a long and deep inhale, not letting it out before saying something. "Maybe I'll find a girl to dance with." Patrick clears his throat and and adjusts his glasses as he turns to look at you.

"I'm sure you will, Patrick. Go to the floor and ask someone." You say, smiling as you encourage him.

Patrick lets out a sigh and looks down at his feet, then back up to you, avoiding your eyes as he speaks. "I'm trying to.. What I'm trying to say is do you want to dance with me, Y/n." He stutters out at first, speaking a little faster as he says the rest. His cheeks and the tips of his ears were flushed red.

You freeze in shock and stare at him with wide eyes, your mouth was slightly agape and you would only assume that your face was probably the same shade of red, if not darker than Patrick's based off of the way you can feel your cheeks starting to burn up rather quickly.

"Um, uh, y-yeah. I'd um, I'd love to, yeah." You stutter out awkwardly, smiling at Patrick.

You look out of the corner of your eye to see Andy with his face in his hands, shaking his head as he does so.

Patrick awkwardly holds his hand out, looking everywhere but at you. You take it and walk with him to the dance floor, and just as you do, a sappy slow dance song comes on.

How on earth could this be one of the only times that a slow dance song comes on? You would've assumed that Pete might've been up to it, but it was probably some unlucky 1 out of 1,000 chance.

"Uh, Y/n? Can I please have this dance with you?" Patrick awkwardly asks. You turn your head to look at him then quickly look at your shoes after a few seconds out of embarrassment.

"Yeah, that'd be great." You say quietly with a smile. You laugh to yourself, glad that you weren't the only one that was nervous. And you had no idea how, but you felt your cheeks getting even hotter than they were before.

You and Patrick face towards each other and you awkwardly place your hands on his shoulders. It was especially awkward when Patrick asked if he could put his hands on your waist.

You both stayed silent and avoided eye contact for the first couple of moments of you dancing together. And no matter how much you were enjoying it, how euphoric it felt, you just couldn't look at him. Though not in a bad way.

You finally look at each other and Patrick gives you a nervous smile, his cheeks still a reddish tint.

You smile back at him and wrap your arms loosely around the back of his neck, pulling him closer to you. It was a bold move even for yourself, and you quickly regret it, wondering if it might've been too bold of a move.

Patrick stiffens a bit, but quickly relaxes and proceeds to dance with you, slowly swaying with you to the music.

"Hey, Patrick. Can I tell you something?" You say, your voice shaking a little.

"Yeah, go ahead." Patrick says just as equally nervous, or at least it sounded like it.

You think for a moment, debating whether if you should tell him what you were going to say or not, then finally deciding you should.

"You can't laugh at me or anything, please." You hesitate for a second. Patrick looks at you with his brows furrowed, what seemed to be a confused look.

"Um, I like you. More than one should be for being just friends with someone. I- what I'm trying to say is that I like you romantically." You admit, shutting your eyes closed in fear for what his face would turn into.

Patrick stops dancing, yet not letting go of you and stays silent for a few moments. You open your eyes to look at him, knitting your eyebrows together to try and pinpoint what exactly his expression was, but not being able to.

Patrick pulls you closer and gently places a shaky hand on your cheek and leans in to kiss you, his lips touching yours.

You freeze for a moment in shock, but ease into it and kiss him back, wrapping your arms a little more tightly around the back of his neck to pull him down, deepening the kiss.

It was definitely an inexperienced kiss, not that you would know that, being this was your first, but it soon turned into a more enjoyable one.

You two pull back, breathing just a little heavier than you normally would. You two looked at eachother, laughing lightly to yourself as you feel the high of exhilaration.

Both of you don't say anything the rest of the song, you just continue to dance holding each other closely, your face buried into his neck and his cheek pressed to your hair.

The song ends, too quickly for your own liking, and another upbeat pop song starts to play.

You hold onto each other for a while longer.

"Do you wanna go back to the bleachers?" You ask, finally pulling away from him.

"Yeah, there's not really much to dance to with this music, it's kinda weird when everyone else isn't with us." Patrick replies, adjusting his glasses.

You smile and slip your hand into his, walking with Patrick to the bleachers where Andy was.

Patrick stops when you two were a few feet away from the bleachers. "Am I just going insane, or do I see Andy making out with that girl over there."

"I was just thinking the same thing." You say, your mouth slightly agape at the sight.

Someone from behind grabs your shoulder, you turn around to see who it was and to no surprise, it was Pete.

"Hey guys, what are you two doing standing here like weirdos? Why aren't you guys dancing together?" Pete says, shaking both yours and Patrick's shoulder gently.

"Because we were just looking at that." Patrick says, briefly pointing at the scene happening on the bleachers.

Pete looks in between you and Patrick to look. "Oh wow, they're really going for it, huh? When did that happen?" He says, seemingly having the same reaction as you and Patrick did.

"We have no clue. We came here to plan on sitting with Andy and it was just already kind of happening. Oh, by the way, where's your little girlfriend, by the way?" You ask, teasing Pete.

Pete rolls his eyes at you and his face quickly turns into one of what you immediately recognised as mischief, one that induced fear upon you. He was about to say or do something you knew you wouldn't like or be happy about.

"How was that kiss by the way? It looked like you two really enjoyed it, me and Amy are happy for you! Maybe we should tell the guys so they can congratulate you guys too!" Pete says enthusiastically with a shit eating grin on his face.

Patrick looks at you with a mortified look, you mirror his expression and turn back to Pete. You couldn't find any snarky remark to say back to Pete, you were just completely speechless after what he had just said.

Amy walks up to Pete and taps him on the shoulder and puts her hand in his when he notices it's her.

"Hey guys! Are you having fun! I saw you two dancing a little while ago." Amy says, a sweet smile on her face.

"Oh uh, hey Amy. Yeah, yeah, we're having fun. Um, what about you?" You ask, stumbling over your words a bit, still thinking about what Pete said.

"Thats good. Me and Pete going to go back to dance, do you guys want to come with us? The dance is about to end in 15 minutes."

You open your mouth to talk only to have Patrick beat you to a response.

"No, we're alright. But thank you for asking, Amy." Patrick replies.

"Alright, have fun! If you need us we'll be somewhere in there." Amy says, grabbing Pete's arm and dragging him to the dance floor. Pete looks over his shoulder and sticks his tongue out at you and Patrick.

"Do you wanna go outside?" Patrick asks, a small smile on his face.

"Yeah, yeah. It's kind of noisy in here." You respond, following along with Patrick. You slipped your hand into his as you continued to walk with him.

You now realized just how sweaty you were. You don't know if it was because of how hot it was inside of the gym or if it was because you were with Patrick. Now that you think about it, it's kind of gross.

As you walk out the doors, you feel the cool wind blow on your face, immediately cooling down how hot your cheeks felt. You both sit down on the grass.

There was a calm silence around you, only having faint music playing from the gym and distant chatter of students and teachers keeping the noise present.

"I would've never thought that would've ever happened." Patrick says, a faint blush on his face as he looked in the distance.

"What? Pete finally getting a girlfriend or Andy making out with that girl?" You snort.

Patrick looks at you and rolls his eyes. "Well, yeah maybe the Pete part, but I mean us. It sounds so cliche but I wouldn't think that I would ever get to, well y'know.." Patrick shrugs.

The way the moonlight illuminated his face made the light freckles peppered across his face more visible, and the way it made the colour of his eyes look all the more beautiful. The chill of the wind made his nose slightly red, and his cheeks had a flush to them.

You smile and look at him. "Honestly, me either. But I'm glad it did."

"I don't know what they put in that punch because I do NOT remember being that confident or bold." You add on, laughing a bit.

You lay down on the grass and look up at him, admiring his features like you did the same way you did the day he was helping you pick out your dress, except when he looked at you this time, you didn't look away.

"It's kind of cold." Patrick says, rubbing the tip of his nose.

You smile and laugh, getting up. "Do you want to go back inside?"

"No, I think I'm ready to go back home. It's too crowded and hot in the gym and too cold out here." Patrick replies, getting up off of the grass and offering you a hand to pull you up from the grass.

"I agree with you there. Do you think you can drive me to my house?" You get up, brushing your dress of from any dirt of dead grass that may have stuck onto the fabric.

Patrick nods and you both walk to his car.

"Should we say bye to the guys before we leave?" You say, getting into the passenger seat of his car and closing the door.

"No I think they should be fine. And Pete would probably just tease us." Patrick says and starts his car, pulling out and exiting the car lot to get onto the road.

The drive to your house was almost the same as the ride Joe gave you to the school, but it wasn't an awkward silence that filled the car but rather a pleasant and calm one.

After about 10 minutes of driving Patrick pulled into your driveway. Both of you got out, as Patrick had insisted on walking you to your doorstep.

"Thank you, Patrick. I had fun with you tonight."

"Yeah, of course. I had fun with you too." Patrick smiles.

You grab onto Patrick's shoulders and lean towards him, gently placing a peck on his cheek, pulling him into a hug after.

"Goodnight, Patrick. I'll talk to you later on, okay?" You say, burying your face into his shoulder.

"Goodnight, Y/n. I'll talk to you later." Patrick says, placing a kiss to your temple.

You two break the embrace and you turn around to open your door, walking into your house and closing the door.

All of the lights were off and it was silent, so you would only assume that your dad was already asleep.

You take off your shoes and take them in your hands and walk into your bedroom.

You close your door and change out of your clothes, throwing them into your hamper and changing into your pajamas.

You smile to yourself as you recall the events of the night, only to be interrupted by a knock at your door.

"Yes?" You shout before opening your door.

"Your friend Andy is on the phone right now, he wanted to talk to you. Here, can you bring it back to me when you're done?" Your dad says, handing you his phone.

"Yeah, of course, dad. Thank you." You say before going to sit onto your bed.

"Hey, Andy, what's up?" You say, holding the phone to your ear.

"Where are you? We've been looking for you for like 15 minutes now." Andy says worriedly.

"I'm at home right now, Patrick drove me. Why didn't you call my cell?"

"Because when I called you I heard your phone ringing in your bag. You left your bag and jacket over here and we thought you were still here because it was left here on the bleachers." Andy scolded.

"Shit! I'm sorry, dude. I didn't mean to worry you." You apologize.

"It's fine. But I'm kind of upset you didn't say bye to me. Do you want me to drop your stuff off later?"

"I'm sorry, I should've said bye. I'll make it up to you, Andy I promise. But if you could bring my stuff for me later on tomorrow that would be awesome."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight, Y/n."

"Goodnight, Andy. Thank you."

"No problem." Andy says, hanging up.

You shut the phone and get up, walking to your dads room to put his phone onto his nightstand and walk back to your room.

You close your door and pull your covers up and slip into your bed, immediately falling asleep due to the exhilaration of the night wearing off.

3:00 ─────────ㅇ 3:00

AN; I think I started this in early December and now it's already the third of February so it's been a process. I'm sorry this took me so long to post but it's probably one of my longest works and because I also kept hitting parts of the story that I had no clue what to write. I do hope that you enjoyed it, though. I also have another Patrick Stump x Reader fic that you could find in my masterlist.

#patrick stump #patrick stump x reader #patrick stump imagines #fall out boy #fob #from under the cork tree #pete wentz #joe trohman #andy hurley #AU #dance dance fob #dance dance mv

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raisinghellonstarbug · 10 months ago

Text

James Acaster x Reader - a tinsy bit of drabble... (accidentally angsty, oops!!)

Title: Best Person in the World

Basic plot: It's a Friday and it's your usual weekly coffee evening with your best friend James. James has some big news to share with you. You're not sure how to take it...

Tags: James Acaster x reader, fluff, angst, coffee shop, London, winter, heartbreak, unrequited love, but is it really unrequited?, almost lovers, best friends, mention of Ed Gamble

Word count: 2238

Work had been quite stressful, but no more than usual. Quite frankly you were just glad to get yourself out of there so you could head over to your favourite coffee stop on the corner and meet your friend, albeit, stupidly handsome friend James.

You, all rushed off your feet and almost panting from practically sprinting your way from the cold and drizzly rain, step in through the door of the coffee place and find your favourite seat where you knew that James would probably already be there.

He was there in fact and the sight of him alone gave you the butterflies. You just couldn't help feeling starry eyed every time - and incidentally, never about his fame of being on the telly. Just James himself. A friend for 5 years now.

Ed introduced you. It was a spur of the moment. You have been smitten ever since. You didn’t have the guts to tell him.

But there were moments when you wondered. Could he feel the same? It was too hard to confront such a thing.

It didn't occur to you straight away, not when you first met him. But over time, it built up bit by bit. Like laying it out - brick by brick. You were basically in love with him and you didn't know what to do about it.

And he is greeting you as he always does, with a goofy smile and a little cuddle and no matter how many times you have done it, the feeling still makes you swoon. How were you going to get over this? You wondered if it would just be easier rather than having to tell him how you felt.

You were out of your trance when he let go and gestured to you to sit.

"So, Y/n are you having your usual yeah or something else? It's my turn to treat us," he sat down and looked dead at you in the eye, a whimsical eyebrow raising.

But you start to argue, "No wait hang on I'm pretty sure it's mine you definitely paid last week-"

He fobs you off by shaking his head and putting his hand out, "Yeah yeah don't worry about it, honestly it’s no bother. I have something to tell you anyway and it's pretty big so I'm in the mood to treat us..."

You perk up at his words and look at him quizzingly, "What is it James? You ain't going to leave your best mate hanging already are ya?"

He was looking at you now with serious intent and it unnerved you slightly. Suddenly, nerves were climbing up to the surface again. You watched him as he rubbed his hands together.

"Ok, so... this is pretty big right, and I have been trying to figure out the best way to tell you but-"

"Oh for goodness sake James just bloody tell me already!"

As you say this he responds in unison, "I've met someone."

You went totally silent. You were speechless. You wanted the ground to swallow you up. You blinked hard and asked him to repeat those words you wished he hadn't said.

"I've- met someone... as in she's er, well, she's brilliant actually and I think it might be serious," he looked down shyly at his napkin on the table, fiddling with the cutlery.

You decided that all you can do is feign happiness. Be delighted for him. It was all you could do, you couldn't be mad at him for finding someone.

But the words were not coming. You felt like you were going to be sick. Maybe you had to get some air but you couldn't arouse suspicion. James knew you well enough after all.

"Uh-" you tried to say something. Still nothing.

"Y/n? Are you alright? Did I say something bad? I did say it was big..."

You put your arm out, trying not to alarm him and wanting to avoid him getting close to you so that he couldn't hear your heartbeat or your stomach churning. You stood up from your chair and managed to finally stifle up some form of words.

"Sorry, James, I don't know- I think I might be coming down with something? Sudden headache! I think. Might need to go home actually and you might have to tell me all the deets of how you met the lucky lady over the phone later. But yeah, I think I need to leave..."

"Y/n wait are you sure you don't just need to eat or take a break outside for a minute? I was looking forward to seeing you and I don't want you to leave. Maybe I could come back with you to yours instead I-"

Suddenly, without thinking, your voice became sharp and you looked at him sternly, "No! No James, please. Don't take me home, it's fine really. I'll be fine."

And you headed for the door, essentially storming off like a petulant child. You instantly started to regret your attitude at that moment, but it was too late now so you just had to turn away and leave.

Or at least you tried to leave, but it appeared James wasn't having it as you got to the door and he stopped you in your tracks. It would appear that a row was about to form, with anger splashed across your best friend's face. He rarely ever looked at you like this, but it had to happen occasionally. Fighting on the busy streets outside a cafe was not what you had planned for today.

He had grabbed your arm and was frowning, looking at you confused and annoyed.

"What the hell Y/n? Why did you snap at me like that? I was opening up to you about something really important to me and you just try to storm off and feed me bullshit about feeling ill? Tell me what's the problem now. I am not letting you go off and sulk..."

You groaned and looked away from him. Why couldn't you just be a decent friend and be happy for him? Why couldn't you just lie properly instead of wearing your damn feelings on your sleeve?

You crossed your arms and tried to explain it, trying to come up with something plausible.

"Look fine you’re right, that was shitty of me I know. I didn't give you a fair warning. But I guess it just really shocked me, you saying you met someone. Took me off guard I suppose," you still couldn't quite look him in the eye.

"I get that Y/n but you're my best mate. You're supposed to be straight with me. I mean you usually are! But I guess it wasn't fair of me either to spring this on you like that. I finally met someone and I just wanted to share my excitement with my favourite person in the whole wide world..." He started getting a little fidgety, you knowing he wasn't one for expressing admiration or being open about feelings. This was just all around uncomfortable for both of you.

And then you felt really bad. You looked at him with pure remorse and started to apologise while fiddling with your hair, "Shit James I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have reacted this way, period. It was really wrong of me. I am absolutely ready… to hear all and share your happiness with you," your teeth almost gritted with those final words. Some part of you wondered if he could tell that you still weren't being totally genuine.

He squinted his eyes and pointed his finger at you somewhat accusingly, "Hmmmm... there's something off. What are you hiding from me, hmm?"

You looked up at the sky and sighed heavily, praying for a flying saucer to grab you in that moment and take you to a distant land far away from here. But alas, no such luck.

You decided you had to be at least a bit more truthful. How you were going to word it though was tricky.

"OK ok James, you caught me. I guess, perhaps I am a little pissed that you didn't tell me that you were dating someone at least. I mean, how long have you waited to tell me? Why were you keeping it for so long?" You almost felt a bit smug for turning the tables on him. You also felt like such a prick too.

He nodded, accepting your answer and responded accordingly, "Ok yes, that's a fair point. But now you're giving me a chance to explain... I didn't want to tell you until I knew it was a bit more, well... serious. I didn't want to get excited before it was even anything real, you know? Her name is Clara, by the way."

Hmm, Clara. Sounds like someone he would date. Probably long legged, skinny and beautiful too. Your voice in your head sounded so pathetic. You hated feeling jealous. You didn't expect to be so overwhelmed by it.

"Clara, eh? She better be the real deal. She better not break your heart, otherwise I will find her house and kill her. You know that, right?"

James then laughed and his face softened, looking relieved that you weren't fighting anymore.

"James. I'm dead serious here. I will fucking murder her-"

He continued laughing and put his arm around you, dismissing your supposedly empty threat. Both of you started to stroll down the street to wherever it would go.

But you knew that despite appearances, you would do anything for this man - including attacking a woman who might cause him any sort of harm. And you insisted to yourself internally that Clara better step up to the plate. They had to be fucking dynamite; because the man you loved ought to match up as his equal of being the best person alive. Even if you knew that wasn't you.

To think, you were almost going to tell him how you felt that day.

He then looked at you dead in the eye, grabbed your hand and said with such sincerity and with those glittering, beautiful eyes, "Don't think this means that you won't be less important to me, Y/n. I don't want to become one of those people who becomes all consumed by their relationship. Clara will have to understand that I'll still make time for you. Especially when you need it."

You wanted to believe it but you knew that life doesn't work that way so you smiled sadly, almost a tear forming and shook your head, not expecting anything like that.

"No James, don't make promises like that. If Clara is really the right person for you, you prioritise that. You can't be closer to me than your potential future wife, or whatever. She could bear children for you, I can't do that."

You noticed a chord struck in James as you said that and he faltered, gently letting go of your hand. The penny had dropped. You knew your words must have really sunk in. You watched as he turned away from you, despite knowing his reluctance.

But just as quickly he turned back to you and with desperation, "Y/n, really. I don't want to lose you. You still can be just as important-"

You stopped him and put a finger on his lips. You then smiled genuinely at him, fighting every urge to kiss him then, knowing how amazing he was to even be so considerate to your feelings in that moment. You couldn't believe you hadn't started sobbing yet.

"You don't need to say anything James. Please. We are friends. We are nothing more..."

But he frowned at that, looking at you with sadness. And you didn't know why. Perhaps a fleeting moment? A slither of hope that could so easily be taken away? What was he thinking then?

He scratched his head and continued to frown, even though he still kept his eyes on you. In fact, you swore for a second that he looked down at your lips(??), but again must have been going mad. It was a strange day after all.

He then spoke so quietly, his voice practically whispering, "Yeah... friends. I guess that's better than not having you at all..."

And then you frowned at him, realising that you both were standing so awfully close to each other, his body just millimetres from touching yours. And you could feel that sickness again, but for a different reason. What the fuck did he mean by that?

And you wanted to ask him but instead you're frozen in time, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek. You look up at him in a complete standstill, slightly gasping at the feel of his touch and you squeezed your eyes shut.

You then felt his lips touch your forehead and you opened your eyes to see him, his lips parted as he lifted his head back away from you. But soon you found yourself capturing his lips just that once, so gently and fleetingly. A quick peck. You couldn’t resist it.

He was surprised, quite rightly, his eyes darting around you and beginning to realise what had just happened. He pulled back and it honestly felt like a chain yanking at your heart. The waves were sinking you to the bottom.

You wondered if you might have to give up on your friendship with James to save yourself the worst heartache to come.

Note: OKAAYY I'M SORRY I DIDNT KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME but somehow this became an unrequited drabble??? It was jsug improvised honestly like I just could imagine this happening and now I feel bad because the reader doesn't get a happy ending and I don't normally write angsty stuff like this but yeah here we are though I guess?? Please don't hate me!!

It's just drabble honestly. I think I wrote it OK? Let me know what you guys think! This is also just FYI nothing to do with Stumbled Into Laughter, Stumbled Into You so don't panic about that.

Peace x

P.s And noooo of course not, not me at all posting a fic on a Sunday night at nearly 1am in the morning - pfft, what am I like?

#james acaster #james acaster x reader #unrequited feelings #unrequited love #unrequited requited #heartbreak #lost love #almost lovers #best friends #james acaster fanfic #mention of ed gamble #london #winter

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m1lkywaymikey · 12 days ago

Text

M1LKYWAYMIKEY .⊹˖ᯓ★. ݁₊

✩°｡⋆⸜INTRO POST ✩°｡⋆⸜

That's me ⤴ okay bye :p

JOKES OBVI I hate to say it, but I am NOT the real Mikey Way (sorry guys)

I'm Jess/Kaz - literally call me either. I could not have less of a preference :p

I'm 16 and use she/her but I low-key dgaf like at all

I'm british and I will fully assume you're british unless I'm told otherwise sorry not sorry

This is what I look like😈

Blah blah blah that's all boring okay FUN STUFF NOW!

MUSIC

Follow me on spotify and airbuds #shamelessplug

Take a wild fucking guess about my favourite band I think we all know it's AMERICAN ROCK BAND FORMED IN 2001 MY CHEMICAL FUCKING ROMANCE

Yay okay let's speed run my my chem faves so we can get onto other music :p

Fave member: MIKEYYYY

Fave bullets songs: Skylines and turnstiles/Honey this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us/Cubicles

Fave tcfsr songs: Ghost of you/Thank you for the venom/The jet-set life is gonna kill you (honorable mention to Helena)

Fave black parade songs: Disenchanted/I don't love you/The sharpest lives

Fave danger days songs: DESTROYA/Kids from yesterday/SING (honorable mention to S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W)

Fave conventional weapons songs: kiss the ring/the world is ugly/boy division

Fave miscellaneous songs: Desolation Row/My way home is through you/Kill all your friends (honorable mention to foundations of decay and all the angels)

Fave album: never ask me that question again I simply cannot choose

Fave era however... probably bullets

OKAY FINALLY MOVING ONTO OTHER MUSIC

I'm gonna do my fave bands/artists then my favourite songs by them :p

Pulp - Jarvis Cocker isn't even hot but god he's so sexy

🎧...

Do you remember the first time

Something changed

Bad cover version

Pink glove

Paramore - Hayley Williams come home the kids miss you

🎧...

Playing God

Turn it off

Hate to see your heartbreak

Thick skull

Panic! At the Disco - Brendon has a better voice than Ryan there's a reason he's the singer 🤷‍♀️

🎧...

The only difference between martyrdom and suicide is press coverage

Nine in the afternoon

She's a handsome woman

Nearly witches

Pierce the veil - when I'm not busy being Mikey Way I'm Vic Fuentes in the mickey mouse shirt

🎧...

Floral and fading

Bulls in the bronx

The new national anthem

Stay away from my friends

Fall out boy - I'm a petekey truther I'm sorry guys (HOWEVER I do hate when ppl make everything fob about that twink)

🎧...

Nobody puts baby in the corner

Bang the doldrums

Grand theft autumn/where is your boy

The pros and cons of breathing

Gerard Way - his solo stuff is so underrated

🎧...

Brother

Millions

Don't try

Action cat

OTHERS: Fontaines D.C., The Streets, Lily Allen, Alanis Morrisette, My Upside Down, Guns n Roses, Grimes

INSTRUMENTS

I play guitar!! Not very well yet but we are getting there :p here she is her name is Joanna

CONCERTS

People I've seen in concert/at festivals

☆Spice girls

☆The human league

☆Ed Sheeran

☆The proclaimers

☆Guns N Roses

☆Pulp

People I'm going to see in concert/at festivals

☆Fontaines D.C.

☆Charli XCX

☆Pierce the veil

(If my chem come back to the UK I will sell my lungs to see them)

PHYSICAL MEDIA!!!

Physical media is my actual beloved so basically I'm poor because that's all I spend my money on

I collect CDs mainly, but also Vinyls, Tapes and DvDs As of writing this I have 130 CDs, 14 vinyls, 7 tapes and 118 DvDs

I listen to my cds on my ultra cool spiderman cd player, here she is in all her glory

Some highlights in my cd collection are my bullets cd, my life on the murder scene 2 dvds + cd and my totally legal conventional weapons cd (courtesy of YouTube to mp3 converter and my beautiful cd burner)

MOVIES AND SHOWS

Follow my letterboxd #shamelessplug

PITCH PERFECT is the best movie ever its literally so perfect, hilarious and full of bangers

My taste in movies is literally all nostalgia based so I love the muppets, Alice in wonderland and high school musical (the best trilogy of all time)

Obviously i wouldn't be me if I didn't put life on the murder scene in my top four I literally cry EVERY TIME

MY FAVES THAT DIDNT MAKE THE TOP 4:

☆ALL OF THE SPIDERMAN MOVIES

☆Dead poets society

☆High school musical 1, 2 and 3

☆Moulin Rouge

☆Labyrinth

☆White chicks

☆Black swan

MY FAVOURITE SHOWS ARE:

☆House MD

☆Criminal minds

☆Attack on titan

☆New girl

☆The office

OKAY THE END OF THIS IS RUSHED BC I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED INSTEAD OF SAVING IT TO DRAFTS LIKE AN IDIOT!!!

I don't think anybody read all that but if you did I love you and yeah that's me 😋

SEND ME ASKS PLEASE AND ILL LOVE YOU FOREVER♡

My username on basically everything is @/kaz.2687 or @/kaz2687 😘

#intro post #mcr #mikey way #my chemical romance #paramore #pulp #me #m1lkywaymikey

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earlgreytea68 · 2 years ago

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Heaven, Iowa.. if ur willing/have the time! Would love to hear some thoughts 💜

I loooooove Heaven, Iowa. I know Pete says this is a song about drinking a screwtop bottle of wine and driving off a cliff, but this is a song about drinking a screwtop bottle of wine and being in love, and staying there, in your own little bubble. That's how I read this song. It's one of those classic FOB songs with classic Pete Wentz lyrics working on one level with a perfectly expected and stereotypical interpretation and simultaneously working on a whole other level that deepens and complicates the entire narrative of the song.

Okay, so, first, that opening line: 6 AM, Mulholland Drive, "Moonlight Sonata" and I. First of all, shut up, this is so evocative in so few syllables and it kills me. Second of all, as others have pointed out, it should grammatically be "Moonlight Sonata and me," probably, unless it's intended to be the beginning of a sentence, and that's actually how I read the whole first few lines, as cut-off sentences.

Moonlight Sonata and I --

(wait, hang on, let me try this again):

First movement, you and I and a screwtop bottle of wine --

The use of the pronoun "I" instead of "me" in those phrases implies the beginning of a sentence, but the end of the sentence never comes, you never hit a verb. To me, it's like the speaker is so full of feelings that they can't be articulated, he's speaking in snatches.

Also, "first movement" is so clever, hahaha, the first eleventy million times I listened to this song, I thought it was a clever Moonlight Sonata reference, you know, first movement of the Moonlight Sonata, and then I wrote that fic based on these lyrics and Pete's sitting in the car in the fic debating making the first move and I suddenly was like, "omg first movement," like, it can also be making the first move required, who makes it, you and I and a screwtop bottle of wine will help move things along. Ugh, he's so smart about such silly little things like that all the time.

ANYWAY, then you come to honestly the sexiest image on the whole album: "I've unspooled on the floor." Ugh Pete. This always makes me think of the whole meme about how bisexual people can't sit in chairs normally. Pete totally would just sprawl out on the floor while he drinks wine. (I often write Pete sitting on the floor on my fics and now you're going to notice that, now that I've said it.) Also, though, "unspooled" is just a great poetic word there, you have an exact image of falling-apart-ness and letting-go-ness that no other word would have achieved. It connotes the unraveling of something that is ordinarily tightly wound -- that is supposed to be tightly wound -- and the unraveling causes a special kind of tangled mess, but also a loose sense of release.

"I feel so A Star Is Born" is a lot, given the plot about discovering and encouraging an incredibly talented, younger singer by a person who's already kind of a big shot. So there's that. Also the fact that Pete when writing these lyrics was around the same age as the Bradley Cooper character in the film, which makes this line feel about wondering about reputational decline and artistic legacy (which Pete thinks a lot about in his lyrics, anyway, but never in quite as tragic terms as this). The "would you read my eulogy" line fits with that "Star Is Born" reference: I'm not worth it, but will you tell everyone good things about me when I'm gone? Which also connects to: Tell me when the party ends, will you still love who I am? WHICH ALSO, in the mythology of Fall Out Boy, is a weighted metaphor anyway. In Pete lyrics, the party is often life, with the afterlife taking the place of the afterparty, so this can be another death reference. But also, inevitably parties ending make you think about "Where Did the Party Go?," and so then this becomes a hiatus reference: "When everything is stripped away and it's just us, do you still love me then?"

"I will never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me," is just a straight-up line from a love song, which is important, because to me this entire song is a love song, and that line betrays it so very clearly. The speaker is never, ever alone in this song, there is constantly a "you and I," someone to kiss his cheek, someone to read his eulogy, someone there after the party ends. (Even when there's not a someone, there's the Moonlight Sonata still with him, and I'll get to that later.)

The chorus is "Scar-crossed lovers." I've seen people talk about how emo and goth an image that is, and I get it. The "scar" reference seems like it makes it emo-er than the usual saying, which is "star-crossed." So on one level, sure, how Pete Wentz to turn the word "star" into "scar," of course, once an emo, always an emo, etc. But I actually think changing "star" to "scar" converts a hopeless saying into a hopeful one. Because "star-crossed lovers" means lovers who can't hold it together. The original star-crossed lovers were Romeo and Juliet. Certainly not a happy ending for them. But these in this song are not star-crossed lovers. They are scar-crossed. Scars are actually healing. They are the body's kintsugi, to use a reference from another song. If you've got a scar, sure, it means you've been through something, but what it really means is you got through it. You came out the other side and you healed. These are not lovers who can't get it together. These are lovers who came out on the other side of the apocalypse.

The same multi-layered meaning exists in the next line: "I'm checking myself out forever." Sure, on one level, this sounds negative: I am gone, I'm leaving. But the thing is: What is he leaving? It's actually not entirely clear. I don't think it's the relationship he's leaving. I think it's the rest of the world. And not in a bad and depressing way. He's like, "Look, I have found something real here. You see all this nonsense, all this chaos, all this drama? I am checking myself out of all of this forever." This goes nicely with the next line: "I'm saving this all for later," which can also be read on two levels, one being, "I'm checking out of this nonsense, I'll deal with it later, I'm staying in my bubble with my love." Another being, "I am here in this bubble with my love and I am going to remember every second of this." After all, "save for later" means something you want to make sure you return to. That line, "Here we are untouched forever" also supports a positive reading of the relationship. It could be read as, "Now we no longer exist, we are only enduring in my memory," but...nowhere in the song does that seem true of this relationship. The relationship is very present throughout the song. When he says "here we are untouched forever," I think he's talking about this bubble he's retreated into, away from the rest of the world.

And that reading goes into the second verse, too, where he refers to himself as being "gone like this." This could be read as really dark, given the Star Is Born reference. But it could also be read as: I have checked out of everything and I am holed up with my love and just everyone wait to see how much they're going to miss how much I was doing and holding together. "Talking to the mirror," (I am the invisible man...) -- "Half your life you've been hooked on death." This seems like an obvious reference to Pete Wentz's reputation, but it's in quotes, like he's quoting other people, like he's telling himself, reminding himself what people think of him. Because that's not who he is.

This last bit of the second verse is so fascinating to me. "Twice the dreams, but half the love, be careful what you bottle up, the chemistry is a mess it seems," these are all negative images and negative lines, warnings and self-recriminations. And then there's that unexpected "But me, I'm still a sunbeam." Patrick is usually the sun in Pete's lyrics, the sun is usually something outside of Pete. How shocking and strange for Pete to suddenly write that he's the sunbeam, and for Patrick to give it a melodic flourish to boot. That could be Patrick giving that to him: "Don't worry about your chemistry, you're definitely loved." BUT, it could also be Pete finally, finally internalizing what Patrick says to him all the time: "YOU'RE the sunbeam. It isn't me. It doesn't matter how you feel like you're too much, it doesn't matter how much you feel like you bottle up, it doesn't matter how much you feel like a mess, you're still amazing, you're still a sunbeam." Ugh, the amount of healing in this song. Scar-crossed, indeed. The bridge could be read as flipped, from Patrick's perspective, and that works, but, tbh, that bridge can also be read as Pete closing his eyes inside the bubble he's created with his love, and there's darkness in this, but the love's glow is right there, so soothing, leading him home, a beacon. When Pete closes his eyes and shuts the rest of the world out -- there, there's the glow, giving him that little shove he needs to keep going: Shake things up, see what comes down, write another album with me, send me some words, we've got this.

This song rises to unbelievable heights by the end of it, like, it is sonically overwhelming, but then it loops around to the same soft rhyme as the beginning, Patrick crooning once again. It begins and ends with the speaker and music. In the end, the thing that has always been there for them: the music.

Also, the fact that Moonlight Sonata is the reference is so interesting in the context of Patrick being the sun in Pete's lyrics. If Patrick is the sun, that makes Pete the moon, catching his reflected glory. Moonlight Sonata, indeed.

This song is full of yearning, but at no point do I feel sad for this guy. He's gonna be okay. His love is right there with him when the party ends.

#peterick #fall out boy #fob

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elliewilliamslover · 2 years ago

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The Archer

4. Fucking Scars

Here is the masterlist for this story

Once all in the truck, Y/n sat down next to Abby and they started off towards the gates of the stadium. It was just silence until Mel spoke. "How've you guys been sleeping these days?" She asked both of them. "Could be better." "Not too great." Abby and Y/n replied. A couple seconds went by with silence. "You want me to get you guys anything from the pharmacy or something?" Mel asked, trying to make the air less dense." "Nah, I'm good." Abby said swiftly after the question.

"What can you get?" Y/n asked, interested in what Mel could get for her. "Well I can try to get you Diphenhydramine but that's for allergies like symptoms, but it does make you drowsy so I guess that could help. There's also Doxylamine, it's kinda like Diphenhydramine but it lasts longer, meaning it would keep you asleep for a couple hours more." She said looking over at Y/n in thought. She thought about it for a bit then said, "I'll have whatever the second one is that you said."

"Great, I'll swing by the pharmacy when we return and get some for you." Mel said with a soft smile on her face. "Thanks Mel." She said smiling at her then looking around, taking in the beautiful scenery. As wrecked as it looked outside the walls that were guarding her home, the stadium, some parts of the city looked breathtaking, especially from the tall buildings. After a couple minutes of Abby and Mel talking Alice suddenly barked loudly. Gunshots and arrows soon hit the truck, every bullet putting another dent in it.

"Ambush!" Mel yelled. "Fucking Scars!" Y/n said reaching for her bow, then Abby grabbed Y/n out of the way by her bicep, pulling her into her chest avoiding an oncoming arrow. "Thanks." She mumbled to Abby. "Don't sweat it." Abby said going back to killing the Scars. Y/n pulled out the .44 Pistol, pulled back the loading gate with her thumb, aimed it at a Scar riding on a horse and fired. She hit the dead center of their chest, knocking the Scar off their horse.

"Fuck yeah." She said, letting out an unsteady breath she'd been holding in. Manny made a quick left making Y/n topple on top of Abby, they both let out groans. Y/n mumbling an apology. "Are you okay?" Abby asked quickly, helping Y/n to a sitting position. "Never better!" She replied sarcastically. The truck had made a couple more turns, weaving through trucks that were in the way.

After passing the small almost semi like trucks, one of the Scars on top of a van threw a molotov at the truck making Manny veer to the right. "I can't see!" He exclaimed, now making a sharp left throwing Y/n to the other side of the truck. After being thrown to the other side, a Scar came running up to the truck, swinging a handmade machete right to her face. "Oh shit!" She yelled as the blade lightly grazed her cheek, making a medium sized, jagged cut. It could've been the whole left side of her cheek if Abby hadn't pulled her out of harm's way for the third time that day.

"Manny!" Abby screamed, holding Y/n tight as they went hurling down the hill. A couple seconds of rolling down the bumpy hill they landed quite the opposite of gracefully at what looked like the back of a big building. "You guys okay?" Abby asked Mel and Y/n. "Yeah." "No." Y/n said after Mel. "How far are we away from the FOB?" Abby asked getting out of the now useless truck in which Mel responded, "It's a hike." "We gotta go guys." Y/n said as she went to get out of the truck. Abby, unthinkingly, held her hand out for Y/n to grab to help her down. She looked at her unoccupied hand then said, "I'm not a princess Abs, I can help myself down." sarcastically, taking Abby's hand in hers, jumping out and quickly following Manny and Mel in pursuit to the loading dock.

They run to Mel and Manny as he gets in first, then Abby, helping Mel up. "Your Majesty?" Abby said sarcastically, holding her hand out again for Y/n to take. "Haha, fuck you too." She said, taking her hand and getting pulled up. Abby quickly shut the overhead door with a slam and turned to Y/n. "Hey, you should get your cheek patched up." She said handing her some Alcohol and a small rag. "Thanks." She said and cleaned her wounds. "Hey Abs." Manny said, making Abby turn from you, placing her attention on Manny. "There's enough stuff here to make a pipe bomb." He said drawing Y/n's attention now.

"Is there enough for two?" She said walking up to the rest of the group. "You know how to make one?" Abby said, staring up at Y/n. "I mean, kinda, it's similar to a nail bomb I made years ago so it should be easy." Y/n said opening her backpack up and grabbing some supplies out of it, along with taking some from the ground, making a pipe bomb. "How do you know how to make a nail bomb?" Manny asked Y/n as she worked on putting the pipe bomb together. "Magic." She said quickly finishing the pipe bomb and throwing her back pack over her shoulders.

They soon went into the main part of the warehouse and started looking for an exit when they heard muffled groans coming from the far end. Alice growled then Y/n listened closely and heard what she was growling about. "Infected!" Y/n whisper yelled to the group making them all crouch behind the counters. From what they could see, there were only three. "Y/n, Abby, you guys take those ones down there, I'll get the one to the right." Manny whispered to them. Y/n snuck up and grabbed one by the throat, taking out the knife she kept in her pocket and stabbed the runner in the head, slowly bringing it to the ground and taking her knife out when it stopped moving.

Once everything was silent they got up and went back to looking for an exit. Y/n stopped looking on the ground and started looking above everything. "Hey, look up there." She said pointing to the light coming through. "Nice job Y/n/n." Abby said, coming to stand behind her. "I'll go check it out." She said walking up to the big shelves. "Be careful Y/n." Abby said to her with slight worry behind her voice. "Psh, careful is my middle name Abs." She said, making her way to the top. She looked around and found an opening on one of the big shelves. She thought for a moment if it was safe to jump over to it. She walked back to the edge of the shelf, looking straight ahead and started running, jumping at the edge in front of her, slamming onto the metal shelf.

Pulling herself up, she realized it was starting to move forward. The sound of metal on metal could be heard throughout the whole building as she fell forward, tumbling onto the floor. As she got up a heavy piece of plywood fell on top of her, making her fall back down. Trying to push the plywood off her, Y/n started hearing a clicking noise getting closer to her. "Shit." She said, not bothering to be quiet since it was already hurling towards her. She took out her gun and fired it at the clicker only to realize she was out of bullets. "Guys!" She yelled watching it get closer and closer to her. Alice then jumps on the clicker bringing it down. Soon Mel, Abby and Manny came rushing in, Abby grabbing the plywood and holding it up for Y/n to crawl out.

"Here they come!" Mel yelled as more infected came rushing in every which way. After they killed most of the infected a shambler slowly came out, you noticed before anyone else. "Guys! we got a shambler!" She said lighting the pipe bomb she made, throwing it at the shambler. Once it was down and dead, it went silent for a few moments until Y/n walked up to the shambler staring at it, wiping infected blood off her forehead as she spoke.

"I want tomorrow off."

"You and me both."

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #the last of us #the last of us part 2 #tlou 2 #tlou

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thekidsarentalright · 2 years ago

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hiii atlas! as u know i am a wams girlie before i am anything else sooo if u want (ONLY if u want) could u do an analysis of wams? i’d love to look into ur mind for this song :3

also ily mwah mwah <333

hiiiiiii spi!!! i am so glad u asked me to do this because god i missed analyzing stuff and this one was VERY fun and interesting to do. so, without further adieu, under the cut is my analysis of wams!!!

as i tend to like to do w my analysis’ (analyses? whatever fksjdhf), we’re gonna start off with looking at the first verse and breaking it down as it needs to be from there, with wams starting off with: “I'm a young one stuck in the thoughts / Of an old one's head / When all the others were just stirrin' awake / I'm tryna trick myself to fall asleep again”

This entire first verse is very cohesive so is best to be analyzed together. to me, this is very much a commentary on the narrator’s loss of innocence, and this continued theme in the song of juxtaposition (here being the juxtaposition of young and old, others and myself), and loneliness too. essentially what i believe this first verse is trying to say is that our narrator is young, they know they’re still young, but they’ve been so weathered by the world, by their life experiences, that they feel their thoughts, their mind, is older than their body. not necessarily that they have an old soul at all, but more that they’ve just experienced and gone through so much that it’s altered their thoughts, maybe their view of the world, even. the second two lyrics continue to describe this, with the narrator saying that all other people are just beginning their lives and experiencing things, maybe just beginning true aging that can alter a person’s views and perceptions, while they’re trying to ‘fall asleep’, to shut his mind off, to quiet those thoughts and maybe even try to go back to where all the others just woke up from- a place of innocence and lack of world-view altering experience.

“My head’s in Heaven, my soles are in Hell / Let’s meet in the purgatory of my hips and get well” is the pre-chorus that continues to solidify the juxtapositions seen throughout this song- with the obvious one here being Heaven and Hell. These lyrics are also continuing a commentary on the state of our narrator and their perception of the world and themself, with this essentially saying- their head, their thoughts (once again referencing their thoughts that have been altered and changed from innocent to not!) are only well intentioned, they wants to do his best and do good, their intentions/wants/hopes/dreams are in alignment with being Heavenly, approved by God. But one could interpret their soles being in Hell perhaps meaning their actions do not necessarily align with this, their Thoughts are good but what they Act Out is not as well intentioned or meaning. meanwhile, because their head is in heaven and feet are in hell, their hips are in purgatory- a neutral ground of sorts, where people go immediately after death to be purified before going to heaven. however, the narrator is dirtying the idea of purgatory by alluidng to sex with meeting in the purgatory of their hips to ‘get well’. with this, i think the narrator is absolutely trying to say that, to cope with their struggles, with the fact they want to act in one way but actually act in another, that they’re so young but feel so weathered by the world, they use sex. it’s a relatively common theme in fob songs, XO being a major example of using things like one night stands and sex to cope with heavy emotions and struggles, and i don’t think this lyric is at all immune from that theme.

the chorus is rather interesting to me, with it reading, “Hurry, hurry / You put my head in such a flurry, flurry / Oh freckle, freckle, what makes you so special? / Oh, what makes you so special? / I'm gonna leave you / Oh, I'm gonna teach you / How we're all alone / How we're all alone”, and here i think the narrator, after spending the song before this detailing how damaged and weathered by the world, how they have sex just to escape their heavy feelings, is commenting on a person who perhaps, for once, actually helps ease the pain. that’s much more conjecture than actual hard analysis, but the lyrics clearly do lead me to believe that! with how they say this person, this muse, puts their head in a flurry and is almost accusatorily questioning what makes them so special. what makes them help our narrator feel Different than other people have made them feel. it’s something unfamiliar and uncomfortable to our narrator, and they respond much like an untrustworthy wild animal would towards kindness- lashing out. they’re gonna leave this person, they’re gonna teach them how we’re all alone. not only is the narrator leaving this person alone, but they’re forcing more loneliness upon themself because it’s what they’re used to. it’s comfortable to be lonely. plus, if they view everybody as alone, then they won’t be so othered from everyone else.

however, after our narrator pushes this person away, the next verse juxtaposes that with saying, “Guild me, build me, it's your club, so / Let me in (let me in) / Knowing how heartwarming it is inside / Your skin”. though this could be seen to be about a person, perhaps even the same person they were just talking about, i want to propose that the muse is shifted here. this song, to me, is really just account the narrators struggles and vices in life, and isn’t specifically about one muse or person at all. i feel, now, the narrator is discussing fame, or even more broadly just a desire for attention from anyone, not a specific person. even after forcing loneliness on themself, they don’t want to be alone. “Guild me, build me, it’s your club, so / Let me in” is showing the narrator’s desire to be included in something, to be built up by other people (turning themself into whatever others need them to be, even?), to get more attention and love that they desperately desire. they want this so bad that they want to be under their skin, which is commonly also a phrase used to describe when someone is annoyed/annoying someone, which Also says to me that they’re SO desperate for this love and attention that they’ll even go to lengths such as being irritating just to get it.

until the outro, the rest of the song just repeats what we’ve already gone over with the pre-chorus and chorus, with the next new lyrics being the outro which says, “Mama, if we don't take the medication / We won't sleep for days, we won't sleep for days / And Mama, if we pray to the lord, oh / Does he sing on a stage? Does he sing on a stage? / We waste it all in the back of a long dark car / And I'm a sunshine machine / Uh, I want to get stuck, I want to get stuck / And be golden in your memory”, which is a lot so we’re gonna go break it down a bit more!

“Mama, if we don’t take the medication / We won’t sleep for days, we won’t sleep for days” is how the outro starts, with this making me think it could mean two things: to take it literally, they are just factually stating that if medication is not taken, sleep will not happen. this is just continuing to detail what the narrator has been the entire song, their problems and struggles with themself and the world. they struggle and suffer so much they need medication, whether this medication is literal as already discussed or more metaphorical/symbolic. what i mean by that is, maybe they don’t mean literal sleeping meds but instead mean they need what they use to cope- like sex, as was referenced earlier. or just the general things they do to get that surface-level love and attention they crave. i believe this also is such a heavy callback to the very beginning of the song, “When all the others were just stirrin' awake / I'm tryna trick myself to fall asleep again”, where the narrator is Now showing what they do to try and trick themself to fall asleep again.

“and Mama, if we pray to the lord, oh / Does he sing on a stage? Does he sing on a stage?” is probably the hardest to analyze lyric in this whole song, as i can’t say specifically what pete meant by this when he wrote it as it’s a sort of vague reference, very open to interpretation, i suppose. for my purposes, i feel as though this is the narrator wondering if they pray, maybe for a better life or less suffering or what have you, will god respond? will god respond in a grandiose way, singing on a stage, to me, representing god responding in a way that is clear and obvious (and helpful). i also feel this could be the narrator referencing finding solace and hope and help in music, asking if they pray to God, does God respond through things people use to cope, like with music. though i think this is meant to be interpreted less religiously than that sounds, with me more meaning if they pray, will they find hope in the things they use to cope and love, like in music. “We waste it all in the back of a long dark car / And I'm a sunshine machine”, is once again a lyric that i’m going to offer two interpretations for, both detailing the coping mechanisms the narrator has been referencing in this outro before now: sex and drugs. with sex, the narrator is saying they waste “it all” (themselves, their worth, their life) in the back of a limo (also a reference to fame!), with the sunshine machine part being more sarcastic with this interpretation, as clearly doing these depraved things to cope with life are not actually making them happy or sunshiney. with drugs, LSD used to be incredibly commonly called ‘sunshine’ (i also feel the need to mention that ‘sunshine’ is used to refer to drugs in 27 as well, which supports this being the ‘right’ interpretation) meaning the narrator could be saying they’re literally wasted in the back of a limo, while wasting themself and their life away, doing sunshine to make themself feel good in this depraved, conflicting, harrowing life they’re leading. the song ends with these lyrics, “I want to get stuck, I want to get stuck / And be golden in your memory”, a simple way to end such a complex and desperately sad song. the narrator, here, is essentially saying that they want to get stuck in your head, whether this be a literal fourth wall break to be saying they wanna get stuck in our, the fans, heads, or the former muse spoken about in this song, or just people’s head’s, broadly and unspecific. believe what you want, i can’t decide which fits best for you! and regardless, they want to get stuck in your head and become golden in your memory- golden, commonly meaning expensive and perfect, something to be sought after and revered. this absolutely fits with what we’ve heard from the narrator of the song so far- they just want to be loved and to have attention, they’re so horribly lonely and force themself to be lonely because it’s all they know. they’ve gone through so much, they’re so beaten and battered, they just want to be golden to somebody. they just want to be special to somebody, even if they'll end up pushing that person away. because as much as they want that, we're all alone, and that's all they think we'll ever be.

#not to be annoying but rbs are. appreciated :3 #it's atlas analysis tuesday now Apparently!!!!#genuinely this was so nice to do and i HOPE u enjoy it and that it's good <333 mwah ily!!!!#if anybody else wants any analysis erm. ask me and i'll probably do it x #asks #spi 🫶🏻#analysis.txt

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