#and if they already genuinely distress you then ofc you deserve help or at least comfort. simple as thatđŸ«‚
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fromaliminalspace · 1 year ago
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always happy to be there for you to battle the gender struggles together and transe the narrative, @corrodedcoughin đŸ€
also, hello??? Eddie being a somewhat gnc BOY and throwing societal expectations out of the window bc now he finally feels confident enough in his identity and his gender and his presentation to start breaking the arbitrary rules and just have fun with this and gently carve out his own personal definition of what masculinity may look like, regardless of how others view it? and on the way throwing out each and every notion of what "being a Real Man (TM)" is about, according to his father who would casually and offhandedly mock any gender nonconformity in its tiniest facets, be it slightly long hair or emotional vulnerability or anything else. because now Eddie's got an accepting caring father figure in Wayne who is welcoming and kind and gentle and is a living walking proof that one can have a valid masculine identity all while rejecting some destructive, both to self and others, yet societally glorified aspects of it. Wayne is a kind of man and a kind of human being who Eddie aspires to be and there's nothing now that can make him falter about the validity of his gender
also 1000% yes to Eddie owning and reclaiming his status of someone beyond the norm!! he may not be Normal in the eyes of other people but the only ones who sees it as a bad thing to be fixed are very much not the ones whose option he cares about. people may call him a freak but the joke is on them bc Eddie can and will embrace it with, as you said, pride and defiance. bc if simply daring to finally be himself would make him a freak then so be it, he'd rather face it upfront than keep hiding all his life and keep stifling his authentic self. more than that, he'd readily embrace his reputation and use it as a shield for everyone he cares about and has took under his wing, he'd draw the attention to himself even if it makes him even more of a target than before (but that's okay as long as it serves the purposes of drawing it away from them), he'd openly defy the conformity. and despite the odds he'd feel free af while doing that, how can he not when it feels so liberating and exhilarating to fire back at the bullies and bigots with what they assumed to be their weapons, only to watch it getting gradually transformed into a shield, wielded by compassion and pride and protectiveness of all things, even while they probably have zero notion to realize what it is exactly that makes them so unnerved about Eddie and makes them lose some interest in picking at him. meanwhile no one in his immediate circle has indeed ever assumed the gender oddities to be merely a "phase" or a temporal obscure caprice, and instead have welcomed him as he is, even if sometimes without necessarily fully understanding his identity, but always making an effort to make Eddie feel accepted
and a shoutout/callout for Eddie’s gender dysphoria being a bigger motivator for workouts (and sticking to a Routine in general cuz gods know his undiagnosed ADHD brain is rudely making everything so much harder than it's got any right to be) than any PE classes have ever hoped to be. his arms may have already been used to occasional soreness due to the sheer stamina it takes to pull off some metal riffs and solos but it’s good to have Steve explain how to tailor a perfect workout routine for him and get the best out of it. it’s just as good to one day hear Nancy suggest subtly contouring his face with a bit of makeup but shape the shadows and highlights in a somewhat more male-typical way. and now that it can be more efficient and natural-looking to use the facial features of the male relatives as a point of reference, Eddie brings an old photo of his uncle for Nancy to have as a vague reference, does it with a fluttering heart bc in a way it’d make him and Wayne more of a family than he ever felt with his dad, more of safe place to land where he feels he belongs, so suddenly gaining an extra sth to further establish the connection with his true family can’t go wrong with him
yessss, of course CC would think that it’s extremely metal of him! of him and Gareth alike (though tbh i’ve still not quite decided about how exactly i hc him, i just know that he does in fact give huge Genderqueer Vibes, whatever those might be, idk in my head he can be amab nonbinary or transmasc or sth else entirely, depending on a ficlet idea), and Jeff and Lloyd no idea why but he’s been Lloyd in my head and in my fic are always eager to welcome the both of them (in the scenario where Gareth’s also transmasc ofc) into boyhood and offer unconditional and sincere encouragement. (and once Eddie eventually meets El for the first time he can offer her the same support and encouragement and assure her that ’s as pretty and bitchin’ and badass as she wants to be regardless of what her hair currently looks like)
[obligatory disclaimer that wrecking your voice and driving it to the point of pain is probably the most important thing not to do when working on it, whether it be for trans reasons or for learning harsh metal vocals reasons] fvbhdbv pranking Higgins this way is sth he would totally do, thank you for the 100/10 delightful mental image! but yeah, he would slowly learn to mentally deconstruct all the voices he hears around him on daily basis and try to distinguish what exactly makes them sound the way they do, especially in the gender context. and, step by step, learn how to add the right kind of gravel and depth into his own voice and how to consistently use it throughout different parts of his range. being a theater kid (and after all he’s been used to acting, having pretended to be someone he’s just not for such a long chunk of his life) and later on a Dungeon Master is only a bonus and an extra excuse to work on his voice and eventually be capable to use it as a gateway for doing an impressive variety of character voices both in the school’s drama club and during his D&D sessions when introducing different NPCs. as everything else it’s not exactly a fast process but with time it does yield results and Eddie can’t be happier whenever he notices his progress
okay so your trans art binge-reblog spree yesterday kinda synced up with me having Intense Gender Feels so please allow me the liberty of gently knocking at your inbox again bc I feel a mighty need to unleash some trans!Eddie headcanons on you >.>
imagine the sheer emancipation of Eddie growing out his hair again after he had cut it short when first moving in with Wayne but this time long hair feels different and so, so much freeing bc it's no longer a stupid social expectation rooted in sth that isn't even true about him but instead a personal choice, one deeply connected with the music that comforts and inspires him like nothing else
imagine the freedom of him first realizing he's trans and how things — maybe not all things but at least some of them — suddenly fell into place from just knowing who he is, even if back then he had no opportunity and no safe place to as much as think about trying to socially transition. just feeling like his authentic self for once, without the weight of others' preconceptions about all the arbitrary ways he's supposed to be. he might've been unable to tell anyone at that time but simply having that knowledge to himself was liberating from the years of having felt like there's sth wrong with him. liberating bc now he knew for a fact that there wasn't. how can this be wrong if it made him feel like himself for the first time maybe ever?
imagine him hesitantly knocking on his uncle's door in the middle of the night when he had no choice but to run away from home. imagine the surprise on Wayne's face and all the unyielding unquestioning trust and comfort he's got for him, so thorough and genuine that it only takes him a few days to come out despite the fear. and then Wayne's silence breaks into a question of what name his nephew would like to called then. the words startling soon-to-be-Eddie into a impulsive hug, which is returned with utmost care and with quiet thinking-out-loud rambling of whether Wayne's got any clothes that would fit his nephew and that he would feel comfortable in
imagine the joy when Eddie gets a fake ID from Reefer Rick one day
imagine him making friends with the rest of Corroded Coffin guys and, when he gathers the courage and trust to come out, being met with support, ranging from confusion and a promise to eventually get how any of it works and to respect Eddie's pronouns etc, to deep understanding that hardly needs words bc you know you're being seen for who you actually are
imagine Eddie working on his voice and ending up achieving some success partly thanks to singing along to his favorite songs and trying to learn harsh metal vocals and at first scaring everyone around by going over the top with them until he figures out ways to train his voice to be more masculine sounding without resorting to that kind of harshness (and developing multiple fun vocal stims on the way)
imagine Eddie getting together with Steve and as a bonus gaining the perfect person to get advice from when it comes to figuring out a workout routine for his purposes
imagine the relief of knowing there are multiple people who you can be your authentic self with and who love you for this and would never change a single thing about what makes you yourself
oof well, I kinda carried away "a bit" (meanwhile the Feels have only intensified further whoops) and these are in no particular order but I really hope you'll like this humble offering. have a restful fulfilling weekend💜
LIAM!!!! LIAM!!!!! I am always ready for transing the narrative (been in some gender struggles too so let’s be in this together đŸ€) I’m going to be running commentary replying so if it’s incoherent or accidentally cover something said later I’m sorry!!
- the hair!! YES!!! I feel like he had long hair before and felt pushed into have short hair in order to be taken seriously in his identity but what he always really wanted to be was ‘just a boy with long hair’ and the more it grows the happier he gets becuase THIS!! THIS!!! Is who he feels like he should have always been!!! This feel RIGHT! When it gets past the length of being ‘acceptable’ for a boy and starts brushing his shoulders he hasn’t never felt more strongly that he is Right. That this is Who He Is, this is Eddie Munson and Eddie Munson is a societal expectation-dodging BOY
- THE ACCEPTANCE AND REALISATION!!! What if he was going around as a child saying kid stuff like ‘when will I grow a beard?’ And being hushed by his elders (before Wayne). Going along with what was given to him, be it toys or clothes because his family didn’t have a lot so he’s not going to ask for more but knowing that they didn’t feel right. That he was performing a character for these people and hoping it would be enough for them, for himself. It’s not, something still feels wrong and he can’t figure out. But then, then he gets the keys to the kingdom, he moves in with Wayne and Wayne gives him some money and sets him loose in the thrift shop. At the start he sifts through the girl’s rails but all of the sizes are wrong for him. So wayne just suggests the boys racks because hey it’s just T-shirts and we need to get you stuff that fits. He guides eddie to the plain T-shirts, not thinking much of it. Not thinking it’ll be a Realisation in the young mind of his nephew. Eddie goes home with 2 boys T-shirts that day and from then on gravitates to exclusively wearing them. Next thrift shop visit eddie makes a beeline to the boys section and doesn’t look back.
- AHHH WAYNE AND COMING OUT I LOVE YOUR VERSION!!! What about Wayne passing a couple of shirts on to Eddie? A hat too? And a belt because god knows Eddie’s buying the jeans that hide his hips and needs something to hold them up. Wayne starts calling eddie ‘son’ and ‘boy’. Every time it’s like Christmas lights have been turned on behind his eyes. He feels dizzy with it, can’t contain himself, has to clench his fists to stop himself from shaking becuase this? This feels right. It fees Correct and knowing Wayne is here with him is the ballast he needs to secure himself on this unpredictable ride.
-CORRODED COFFIN SAYING ITS SO METAL OF HIM. (I personally also hc Gareth as trans so I like to think that Jeff and Freak are always ready to be Boys and show them Boy Stuff. Like alongside band practice they had Boy Practice at the start and now they can burp the alphabet in harmony and can armpit fart guitar solos and play fight and are just GOOFY)
- eddie going to a gig or band practice and then the next morning waking up with a slightly wrecked voice that he /loves/. He surreptitiously tries to maintain it, shouting lyrics in his room and just screaming sometimes but it starts to get painful and he accepts he has to find a different way. He listens to the radio with Wayne, asks to go with him when Wayne’s work friends plan a couple of drinks in one of their yards. Eddie gets to go to a couple, gets to listen to Wayne’s country and rock radio stations. Gets to hear these men talking and tries out phrases he hears when he’s on his own, records them on a tape deck he found in the thrift by luck one day. Records and re-records until he gets it right. Until he can prank call principle Higgins and get shouted at down the phone ‘I’ll find out who your father is boy! He’ll have your hide!’ The peak is when he goes into scoops and gets everything he wanted ‘hey man, how’s it going?’ From the offensively cute sailor with the big hands and strawberry sweet smile
- WORKOUT SUPPORT STEVE. YES. YES ABSOLUTELY!!! Steve showing him that he can’t just hit upper body every day, that he has to get everywhere. That he needs to make his core thicker if he wants that boy look. That working on his quads and calves will help, he promises it won’t leave him a big butt and tiny waist. (Not unless he wants Steve’s routine, that boy is going to work on his ass-ets okay?) eddie doing his first full push up with Proper Form and feeling the muscles in his back move and thinks yes. This is Good. God knows he’s not great at sticking to it but when it serves a purpose and it means he gets to ogle his boyfriend? Kind of a win win
- TBE LAST POINT!!! Yes!!! Eddie living in subconscious fear for so long that he pushes the very notion of being a Boy down. so far Down and Away that he won’t ever let it see the light of day. Or so he thinks. He tells himself that he is fine, that this is fine. But it isn’t and he doesn’t know what feels wrong. Until it slowly starts to change at a glacial speed. He tries different things. Starting only in his room, makes jokes that he thinks he can get away with in front of Wayne. Pushes it further, does more Boy things with corroded coffin. Sees that it’s okay? They are okay with it? With how he is? Sees that Wayne just nods at him and doesn’t make a fuss? That Wayne’s friends don’t bay an eye somehow? (Sure some guys at work do, but Wayne makes sure they know where their opinions aren’t wanted. That Wayne and his group aren’t to be taken lightly on the topic of Wayne’s nephew)
Eddie experiencing so much acceptance and love and there being so venom in it. No ‘waiting’ for it all to pass and Eddie to go back to ‘normal’. Eddies never been normal and that’s a badge he starts to wear with pride. With defiance. Knowing that he has everyone he could ever need how could be not?
#eddie munson#stranger things#queer stuff#Liam whispers into the void#vnfjvkdb ended up replying way later than i planed to bc the damn executive function just Refused to function Again. so very rude of it#well speaking of voice stuff there’s also the issue of a trans voice discord server that i’m in#having been hosting more free public lectures than usually and i for ONCE dared to show up in the text chat with some questions etc#so now i need roughly 10 business years to recover from speaking up. yeah it’s stupid af i know. but brain was legit going very !!! about i#(but at least i’ve learned SO much that i’m honestly still processing it#and would be even more of a infodumping danger at a slightest provocation than before >.>)#all that aside thoughmy trans feels are still being Intense as hell#(well i suppose it must be evident already bc whoops i might’ve gotten carried away Again)#so i’ve been really looking forward to getting my thoughts together enough to actually reply to this!#didn’t get to reply specifically to every one of your points with how long this already is but DAMN very yes to everything you say!!!#him viewing himself as ‘just a boy with long hair’! Wayne addressing him as “son” and how much it means for Eddie!#him not feeling right in his skin bc performing a character for other is never enough for himself!#him finally accepting himself and gradually trying out transitioning in a million tiny ways and being Accepted for it!#just everything you said! yes!!!#no need to feel sorry over any messiness though! what’s important to me is that#my ramblings ended up soothing you and bringing you joy so what more can i ask for! so i’m immensely glad to know#that my words even if slightly but helped you navigate the messiness that the trans experience can sometimes be in a world like ours#and no worries about keeping that other ask! i’m just glad to know tumblr hadn’t swallowed it before it got to your askbox and that#it helped you. (well theoretically if you’re worried about losing any asks/posts there can be a few ways to search or preemptively save the#but i probably wouldn’t say you anything groundbreaking in this regard that you might not know already)#also a gentlest reminder that while it’s totally true that Everyone Else is also going Through It and having a Time#it’s just as true that it NEVER negates your personal struggles bc they do still have an impact on your life and and and deserve to be#and if they already genuinely distress you then ofc you deserve help or at least comfort. simple as thatđŸ«‚#anyway! i’m still standing by everything i’ve said back there and will always be#sending you the softest mental hugs and hoping that the HorrorsDoubtsRSD etc (đŸ„ČđŸ€) will successfully be kept at bay#and thank you for indulging my spontaneous hcs and breathing even more life in them and frankly for just being you
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binunus · 4 years ago
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college bf!bin
a/n the duality of this man??? i’m deceased...anyway i did not think this would go this long but uh my hand slipped...happy birthday binnie!
word count: 5k
genre: fluff, smut, (tiny) angst _________________________________________________
ugh yo
bin is so??? infuriatingly hot??? yet cute at the same time
major: exercise science
and because I love mermaid prince/the beginning, he’s been on the swim team since first year college
swam varsity starting his second year
besties with eunwoo, they were roommates their whole college career
alright so bin loves making friends
he’s so playful and talkative once you really get to know him
but his aura?? tbh very intimidating
like he has an rbf and just like he’s so tall, broad shouldered, built, like he just carries himself very strongly that you will get intimidated when you first meet him
very well known in the university
literally has a professional photographed banner of him hanging in the athletic building with the gold medal he won freshman year
a little embarrassed about it
not really, only when the boys (as in literally the other five) tease him
myungjun: woOoOw bin that guy on the banner really looks like you, don’t you think?
rocky: we geeeeet it you’re a star athlete
blah blah blah you know the vibes, they’re endearing
so how do you meet bin?
basically you’re a friend of a friend—you’re eunbi’s (sinb) friend
you’ve only met bin briefly from time to time, but otherwise you never really had any reason to get acquainted with him
your only encounters of him are when he wants to annoy eunbi and she immediately puts him in his place
but then suddenly in the spring semester of your 2nd year, you and him are in the same 8 am
a boring statistics gen ed class that everyone needs to take in order to graduate
you were running a bit late during the first class meeting—you woke up 30 minutes after your alarm and literally rushed out of your apartment—you made it to class with 2 minutes to spare
most of the seats were filled up already, except that one seat in the back left corner by the window next to the one and only moon bin
oh would you look at that
you felt a bit relieved honestly, you didn’t know anyone else in that class so at least you saw a semi-familiar face
he grinned at you when you sat down
“hey y/n”
you were a bit taken back, “you know my name?”
he laughed a little, “yeah of course, you’re one of eunbi’s really good friends, why wouldn’t I know your name?”
before you could respond, the professor started class and ceased your conversation
one thing you realized as the weeks start to go on
you and bin could not give any two fucks about statistics
no offense to stats lovers
every 8 am on mon/wed/fri, neither one of you would pay attention in class
you both enabled each other to not pay attention basically
so when the professor announced the content and date for the first exam
you and bin literally looked at each other with the same expression
you were both fucked
after class was dismissed, instead of the two of you quickly packing your things and fleeing the room immediately, you both lagged a little bit
you: so...do you know anything that’s going to be on the exam?
bin: uh...no? y/n you’re literally right next to me, you know I don’t do jack shit in this class
you: well fuck, how are you gonna study then bin?
bin: I was probably gonna ask my roommate to help me, he passed with a 96 when he took this class
you give him the best puppy dog eyes you could muster up, you lean in and clasp your hands together like you’re praying
“can he help me too...? please?”
bin’s eyes go a lil wide bc you were a bit closer than he was used to and shit was his heart racing rn?
bin: uh...yeah...sure, i’ll text you to come over when we’re gonna study
you beam at him and like in your excitement you give him a hug
“thank you thank you thank you! i literally cannot fail this class. I’ll see you on friday bin!”
with that you grabbed your bag and just left, leaving bin shocked
he’s surprisingly a shy boy okay!
he always thought you were cute from when he first saw you hanging out with eunbi, but ofc he never thought any more of it
until you guys had this class together and he started to think every day, that wow you are really cute
bin texts you the next day
coincidentally, eunbi texts you too
bin: hey this is bin, if you’re free in an hour my roommate’s gonna help me go over the material in ch. 1
eunbi: why did bin ask for your number
you to bin: yes! send me your addy and i’ll be there :)
you to eunbi: we’re in the same stats class lol and we’re gonna study for our exam next week
eunbi: lol moon bin studying? you might wanna bring some wine with you for emergency y/n
you: lol what do you mean by that?
eunbi: binnie hates studying, but good luck!
ahh, eunbi becomes unhinged when it comes to bin
but you know it’s bc they’re that close, they’re literally childhood best friends, more so like siblings
still, studying w him couldn’t be that bad right?
spoiler alert, it went alright
you felt bad showing up to bin’s apartment empty handed so you picked up some coffee before you arrived
you officially meet bin’s roommate, eunwoo, and you’re floored for like 2 minutes bc literally how can a man like him be real?
cue bin being a bit jealous bc yeah he knew his roommate’s perfect but like damn did you have to be affected by him too :(
eunwoo’s a good teacher alright? you actually understood the material from him
you: idk what eunbi’s talking about, you’re actually not that bad at studying bin
bin being offended: oh god what did eunbi say about me
eunwoo smirking: maybe it’s because you’re here y/n, bin usually doesn’t focus this much when it’s just me trying to help him
you: ???
bin in his head: i can’t trust anyone huh 
before you left his place, you and bin planned to meet up and study one more time before your stats exam
it was just you and bin this time
although you’d never admit it, yes you tried to look good for meeting up with him
yeah he’s a friend?? at least you think you were at that level?? but still, he’s a cute friend and you really didn’t want him to see you looking crusty
you and bin end up studying for a whole 5 hours
granted, half of that time you two were messing around, eating food, trying to procrastinate for as long as you could
bc even though you two had a good handle on the material now—thanks to eunwoo—you both still hated statistics
you knew bin started to get more comfortable with you bc he started teasing you
it made you happy hehe so ofc you started to quip back at him
not at the intensity that he and eunbi do but it’s enough for you :)
he walks you back to your apartment after your study session
wow what a gentleman
bin waving bye at your door with the cutest smile: see you in class y/n :)
mayhaps your stomach did a little somersault
anyways
on the day of your exam you were freaking out
you have test anxiety ah ha ha
you woke up at 5 bc you were paranoid about being late to class
you’re like hastily looking over the notes again when you get to class like are you really prepared omg you’re psyching yourself out hella
bin comes in with 2 cups of iced coffee and he’s like woah are you okay
you: i woke up at 5 bin, idk if i can do this omg
you are like visibly in distress rn and he feels like a pang in his chest 
he was gonna mess with you and say like “bet im gonna get a higher grade than you” but he smartly decides against it
instead, he just takes your hand and gives it a little squeeze: y/n, take a deep breath. you’re going to do great, you studied your ass for this and we both know that you got this material down—even eunwoo hyung said you were gonna ace this exam. just trust your instincts, okay? breathe with me.
he was staring at you so intently and genuinely when trying to calm you down
your anxiety yeeted and suddenly you felt shy
you: th...thanks bin...
bin was worried about you while taking the test rip, he kept secretly glancing at you (while also trying not to make it look like he was cheating) just to make sure that you were okay
he walks you to your next class after you both finished your exam
bin: you sure you’re okay? you said you woke up at 5, did you even eat breakfast? let’s get food after your next class.
you were feeling better after the test but like you got so endeared at his fussing
yes you and bin got lunch that day
your exam results were uploaded the next day
you immediately called bin: I GOT A 95
bin: i told you that you would ace it! i got a 90 hehe
you: bin i literally owe you and eunwoo my life, lemme buy you guys food or something
you hear a little bit of bickering over the phone and suddenly you’re talking to eunwoo
eunwoo: i would love some sushi, but since bin can’t eat seafood, why don’t you come watch his swim meet this weekend :)
you: o...h...o-okay yeah i’d love to watch, what time is it? :)
eunwoo: it’s saturday at 10 am
you: okay! i’ll see you there bin
bin already planning on drop kicking eunwoo
cha eunwoo—best wingmanℱ
you basically beg eunbi to go with you to bin’s swim meet
eunbi: i know bin can swim, why do i have to watch him flounder around under water
also eunbi: faster bin! don’t you fucking dare lose!
bin places first this meet
are we shocked? no
okay you mentally prepared yourself for seeing him shirtless, but clearly you didn’t prep enough bc you’re on the cusp of drooling when you’re watching him from the bleachers
and let’s face it, you’re not subtle and eunbi knows everything so she’s literally closing your jaw for you and like messing with you
eunbi: y/n, you’re really sure you like bin? he’s a good guy but c’mon, i think you deserve better
you: since when did i say that i like him ???? and what do you mean ??? i think he checks...all the boxes...for me...
eunbi: maybe it’s bc i’ve known him since when he used to wet his pants so i don’t understand why people are attracted to him, but like...really, you’ve been checking him out since he removed his shirt. even the ref can see that you’re simping over him
you and eunbi meet up with eunwoo and the rest of bin’s friends—that you haven’t met yet but know of
jinjin: oh so you’re the y/n that bin’s been talking about *wink wonk*
baby you’re blushing
even more so when bin comes up to your group
mmm middle parted wet hair, muscle tee and white sweats, towel around his shoulders
he’s so hot ???
you’re all congratulating him blah blah, but like bin keeps glancing at you and all you can do is just smile and like nervous laugh
sanha: y/n! eunbi noona! you should come eat with us to celebrate bin hyung’s win
eunbi glances at you, little smirk on her face: i have plans, but i know y/n’s free! bin you make sure they get home safe after y’alls dinner plans :)
hwang eunbi—best wingwomanℱ
dinner with the boys was chaotic, you were talking and joking around with them as if you didn’t just meet them today
*you about to get your wallet*
bin, not even able to look at you: it’s okay y/n, i got you this time
cue the boys teasing
astro: kings of making fun of each other
rocky as the group is splitting up: walk y/n home safely hyung :) don’t stay out too late
bin: sorry about them, they’re a bunch of loud idiots...ah haha...
the walk back to your apartment is actually pretty sweet
he didn’t know if you would actually come watch his meet or not but he was excited when he actually saw you
you talk about small random things about yourselves, but it’s not like useless information, you bet that both your subconsciouses are keeping track of whatever y’all are talking about
you give each other a “friendly” hug goodnight...that lasts like a minute or so
and while you’re hugging, bin just can’t help but think that wow you fit so perfectly in his arms
and on the other hand, you’re thinking he feels so warm? so safe? you don’t want to pull away?
but ofc the hug has to end and you’re thanking him for walking you home and he’s like glued to his spot waving goodbye sweetly and waiting for you to go inside so that he knows you’re safely in your apartment before leaving
bin sighing dreamily as he walks back to his and eunwoo’s place
eunwoo waiting on the couch with a glass of water: how was your date ;)
bin: it wasn’t a date, i just walked y/n home
eunwoo: yeah, but you want it to be a date
bin: ...shut up
god why is the pining stage so long
alright everyone knows you and bin like each other
it becomes pretty obvious after the swim meet
you and him fall into this little routine of switching who buys coffee for your 8 am
and then he’d walk you to your next class afterwards
you both still don’t pay attention in stats, sorry
but that means more outside study sessions dates
you come watch his swim meets, whether astro’s there or you’re just watching by yourself
and then you and him get lunch?? early dinner?? right afterwards, it depends on whenever his meet ends
but like??? neither of you have confessed your feelings for each other
even though you both have like a little hint that yeah the feelings are mutual
you and bin are literally like this for 3 months, like damn the semester is almost over
eunbi and eunwoo are tired of your shit, they’re both just like: when the fuck are they getting together? we’re sick of this.
alright so the masterminds literally pay one of eunwoo’s friends from his major to ask you out while you’re studying with bin
let’s do mingyu why not, he was in your korean history class last year
you and bin are in the library, half studying half goofing off per usual
eunwoo, eunbi, and mingyu are at the opposite side of the floor
mingyu: u sure bin won’t clock me for trying to ask out y/n
eunwoo: probably not??
eunbi: just do it please
mingyu giving them both the finger before walking up to your table
“hey y/n...i was wondering if you’d like to get dinner with me...as a date?”
you: o_o huh?
mingyu: i always thought you were cute from when we had class together last year, but i never had the balls to ask you out or anything...you’re not dating anyone, right?
you glance at bin to find that he’s already looking at you with an expression that you don’t really know how to read
you: um...well no I’m not-
bin: actually, we’re dating so y/n can’t go out with you mingyu, sorry.
mingyu’s not even phased, he just gives you a thumbs up and then leaves
you’re confused like literally what is going on—and then you process what bin said and you whip your head to look at him
bin: sorry i said that...i just felt...jealous i guess when mingyu asked you out
you: I wouldn’t have said yes anyway...I sorta like someone else
bin: fuck it, the topic already came up...y/n I’ve liked you for a while now but uh...I don’t know I guess I was scared to tell you because I’m scared of rejection
you just laugh, but not mockingly! more like bin you’re so cute wtf
“bin, why would I reject you when I’ve literally been into you for the past four months?”
it’s safe to say that you and bin officially began dating after that
eunwoo texting in their gc: bin and y/n are finally together
myungjun: fucking finally
bin: how...did u know that eunwoo...?
*eunwoo has left the chat*
alright but bin’s charm?? flirting?? teasing?? sweetness?? up 1000%
bin is touchy y’all, in private his hands are always on you, whether it be sexual or not sexual is up to you
he restrains himself in public ofc, the most he does is put a hand on your waist or hold your hand
eunbi threatens bin early on in your relationship: bin you’re like my brother, but y/n’s one of my dearest friends and if you as much make them cry i will kill you
ofc bin is still eunbi’s punching bag, but when you three are hanging out, he’s dramatic and acts like he’s hurt so he’s like whining to you
sometimes you play along and coo at him like: aww binnie, where does it hurt baby?
other times you’re like: you really think i believe that?? with the size of your biceps??
eunbi: excuse me while i vomit
okay but binnie? bestest sweetest boy
yes he looks all big and intimidating
but he’s soft—especially for you
your nicknames for each other are either “bub” or “baby”
yes will join in making fun of you with the boys, but when you start pouting he’s a goner and will defend you
bin is also a big cuddler, but i mean you’re not complaining hehe
he’s the big spoon, no questions asked
okay but being in bin’s arms is like your favorite place in the world
his frame literally just envelopes you and all you can feel and smell is him and it’s so??? content, you feel at home with him
you feel bad in the morning bc like his arm has to be sore from your weight so you try to like get out of his grasp, but he literally just whines and hugs you tighter
okay but just imagine you and bin napping and his arms are around your waist, his nose is buried in your neck and he wakes up like nuzzling his face in your shoulder like a puppy
im soft
one week you’re staying over at bin’s apartment and then the next week he’s staying over at yours, the cycle goes like that
if you’re one of my ladies with a ~vagíne~, he will buy all your cravings and your tampons/pads, literally anything you want that week, it is yours
doesn’t really get jealous now that you two are official, he knows that you’re his and he’s yours
you two lightly bicker like friends, but you’ve never had a terrible fight before
you were really close to though—or...like you did?? but it was resolved really quick
one of the only problems of bin is that he hates showing weakness and it takes him a whole lot to truly fully 100% be vulnerable with someone even if it’s someone close to him
he pulled a muscle in his arm and it cost him one of his swim meets
he had to go to rehab for like a month and you knew that mentally he’s been off bc of it
you try to ease talking him into telling you about how he’s really feeling but he just kept dodging the subject
one night after one of his rehab sessions, he came back to your place and you’re just like
“hey bubbie, how was rehab? how are you doing?”
and he just snaps at you: stop asking me how I am, y/n, it’s getting really annoying
you’re taken aback, like what the fuck where did that come from?
your eyebrows furrow and you cross your arms bc you are not going to get spoken to like that
“so me worrying about you and wondering how your recovery’s going is annoying? that’s what a partner is supposed to do, moon bin. what’s going on with you?”
bin: you’re being suffocating! it’s the only thing you ask me about nowadays, sometimes I—
oh boy you got mad
you: I ask you because I know you’re not telling me things! I know you’re suffering by yourself and I want to let you know that I’m here for you, I want to help take some of the pain away or at least help you deal with it because I’m your partner! but how can I if you can’t even let me in?? we’re fucking dating moon bin, we’re supposed to go through rough times together. and you call me suffocating...? 
bin’s silent and he’s looking at the floor
you sigh, tears are building in your eyes because you’re frustrated and a bit hurt by what he said, and your voice cracks when you speak again: if i’m suffocating you, then you should leave. text me or something when you can breathe again, I don’t know.
there’s a bit of spite in your words, hidden by the pain
bin sees the tears rolling down your cheeks and that’s when he knows he fucked up
he’s never seen you cry before—besides like from a sad movie or something
so like the fact that he made you cry and hurt you with his words? damn he hates himself rn
he immediately wraps his arms around you, and you like try to push him to get away bc why is he hugging you? didn’t he just say that you were suffocating? why is he confusing
bin: baby, I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have taken out my frustrations on you, you’re not suffocating me I promise...you’re right about everything, I should be sharing things with you and telling you how I’m really feeling...I’m sorry.
you don’t say anything and just like sniffle and he picks you up and brings you to your bedroom and then he just lets it all out
he tells you how rehab is hard and like yeah his muscle pain is going away, but he doesn’t know if he can swim as fast as he used to and that scares him
and he tells you that sometimes he’s thought of giving up swimming since his injury, but then he thinks of you and that’s how he’s still going through with rehab
you’re his motivator and comfort but he doesn’t want to show you his weak side bc he hates that part of himself
and at this point, bin starts tearing up and you’re like stroking his hair to try and comfort him
bin: I’m not good at telling my feelings baby...probably why I didn’t tell you I liked you until 4 months later...but I promise I’ll work harder and at least try and tell them to you.
ugh pain
anyway your communication with serious things got better after that encounter
eunbi finding out that you and bin argued and he made you cry and she literally punched his stomach
you: omg eunbi stop
bin: it’s okay...I sorta deserved that
eunbi: why...are you not swearing at me? shit, bin are you okay?
he nods to the girl and just puts an arm around your shoulder: we talked things through, don’t worry. I’m all good now, but I did deserve that punch because I hurt y/n when I promised you I wouldn’t
bin ends up having a full recovery and bam his first swim meet after he got the clear from the PT, he gets first place again
all the boys and you and eunbi were there supporting him
bin was hella nervous before the meet started, but you gave him a little good luck kiss and was like: I believe in you bub, no matter the result, as long as you give it your all and don’t hurt yourself again, you’ll be the winner to me :)
this was actually when the first “i love you” was said
after your little pep talk in the locker room, bin’s just hugging you and holding you for comfort
and he just went out with it
“I love you y/n”
you blush hella hard bc you were not expecting that
obviously you’ve been feeling it like yeah your feelings for bin have grown into love for a while now
you just bury your face in his chest and hug him tighter
“I love you too binnie, now go get em bub.”
he smiles and kisses you and tells you that he’ll see you after the meet is over
you come back to the crowd where the boys and eunbi are and you just have a huge smile on your face, you’re literally glowing
myungjun: please tell me you guys didn’t fuck before his swim meet
speaking of fucking
okay let’s get down and dirty ladies and gents wink wonk mmm grr bark bark
bin is so sexy y’all like i dont need to tell you that
he’s 100% a tease
you have a little muscle kink hehe
which bin very much uses to his advantage
if bin is wearing a sleeveless shirt, you bet he wants to smash that day
will walk around shirtless after a shower or after a workout just to turn you on and then depending on his mood, he might tease you for like an hour or you’ll just get right to it
he’s very proud of his body and the work he put into it and knowing that you get turned on from one look of it?? gives him an ego boost, he loves it
one time at a party, he wore a crop top (mm hello bad idea bin) and you literally went feral
you dragged him inside the nearest bathroom and just started making out
he’s an ass guy
...all of astro are ass guys, it’s just obvious with how much they slap each other’s asses and poke each other’s assholes
okay you know how he’s touchy right? i mentioned that earlier
he always wants you on his lap
even if there’s a space available, nope your seat is his thighs
ofc when the situation allows, like you’re not gonna sit on his lap in class duh
most of the time in public like if you’re hanging out with the boys or something, it’s innocent
but if he wants to be a tease, he’ll literally just tighten his grip on your hips and grind you down onto his cock
subtle, he won’t straight up thrust into you
just enough to get his dick stirring and make you feel the outline of it through your pants
and then he just stops and hugs your waist again?? wtf
his major’s exercise science right? will ask if he can practice on you for anatomy and physiology, but you know after touching you in a couple places, y’all will just end up fucking
likes to bite and mark
very proud seeing the hickeys he leaves on you
you can bite, but you can’t bruise, idk his upper body is exposed a lot bc swimming so you can’t really leave any marks on him unless it’s the off season
foreplay’s cool, but he prefers the main event, he just wants to be in you
as much as he loves doggy, his fav position is the hook
(it’s when your legs are on his shoulders ohoho and it just lets him fuck you in a deeper angle mmm)
also in the hook, he can choke you
if i have a choking kink, you have a choking kink
okay little tangent, choking is so hot?
like just imagine you and bin are making out, he pushed you against the wall, literally grinding his hips into you, and his hand just comes up and squeezes your throat? that’s so sexy
likes butt stuff oops
i don’t make the rules, he just does
daddy kink, but no power play
will not degrade you (even if you really just want him to call you his dirty slut) bc he really values seeing you as equals
seeing your face when you cum is a must
almost always: you cumming → bin cumming
nothing gets him off more than knowing that he’s making you feel good
after !! care !!
sweetest boy!!
will clean you up with a warm towel after sex
and if you’re one of my ladies, he will always remind you to pee so that you don’t get a UTI
if y’all had a marathon or something, he will draw a bath and carry you to the bathroom and you will bathe together, so soft
always ends sex with an i love you :’)
okay let’s get back to the soft stuff
special thing about swimmer bin: pool dates
sometimes when he’s practicing and it’s just him, he asks you to come to the aquatic center and you two end up splashing around and being cute together
he like knew that you were the one for him some time during senior year
it was the holidays and his parents invited you to spend christmas with their family since your parents were out of the country this break
his parents and sister liked you immediately—which you were so scared about, but bin just knew
you woke up early christmas eve (and bin was out like a rock) so you just went downstairs to brew some coffee or something and you saw that his mom was already starting on making food
naturally, you offered your help and she was like no, you’re a guest y/n, but obviously you started helping
bin comes downstairs like an hour or two later to see you, his mom, and his dad just cooking and listening to christmas music and talking and his heart just like swells??
you: morning binnie :)
his mom: how can you be sleeping when y/n’s here helping us with christmas dinner
his dad: what kind of boyfriend are you, son?
just kidding all jokes
but that’s the moment when he knew
best boyfriend bin ugh
he becomes a legend in the school for swimming
but doesn’t continue after college, he’s all about becoming a physical trainer after graduation
he goes to grad school, while you’re out working in business
bin moves in with you after graduating, it was the obvious next step
you do talk about the future together, but obviously bin’s still in school and you’re both fresh from undergrad so there’s no rush yet to tie the knot
doesn’t stop his or your parents from talking to you two about marriage tho oops
ugh but the domesticity after bin moves in with you? superb
like yeah obviously you both basically lived together anyway when he still roomed with eunwoo just from how much you and him spent at each other’s places
but like your apartment is now both of your place and it’s like your home is finally complete
your apartment becomes the reunion place for the boys and eunbi
at this point everyone knew you and bin were gonna get married eventually
eunwoo and eunbi: we did that ;)
and that’s how you and your college bf!bin live happily ever after uwu
happy birthday binnie moonbob ♄
1-25-21
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