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#and if the answer is a lot - do we get to hear from them at all???
changetyre · 2 days
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Broken ⒾⓈⓌ
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SUMMARY: You and Max are having trouble trying to grow your family and your daughters are affected by it. Part of the Verstappen Family Verse
WARNINGS: Angst, miscommunication, pregnancy issues, a smidge of smut at the end.
A/N: This was requested over on Wattpad. Despite the angst, this is one of my favorite parts of this series.
Max stretched out, his back feeling painful after carrying all the presents he'd bought up from the parking lot before stashing them in a high cupboard in the house where he was sure nobody would look. It was late and he'd spent most of the day out looking for gifts, although truly it was also an excuse to get some space since the environment at home wasn't the best right now. 
The house was quiet when he arrived, a good indicator the girls were already asleep in their room and you as well probably. Although only a few months ago there wouldn't be a day you wouldn't wait for Max before going to bed, physically unable to go to sleep without hearing his voice but lately things had changed and you and Max often went to bed without exchanging any words at all. 
Once he finally made his way to your bedroom he wasn't surprised to find you were in fact asleep, clothes scattered around the room which you also hadn't bothered to clean up. Max sighed, he was tired having not really had a day of relaxation since the season ended despite imagining he'd spend his winter holidays differently, that things would somehow get better. 
He proceeded to pick up the room a little bit making it a little more presentable before taking a quick shower and joining you in bed. While his skin screamed to feel yours Max didn't feel comfortable enough to do so anymore, not knowing how you'd react to him placing an arm around you like he had done every night since you'd gotten together..until a few months ago. 
The next morning Max woke up to find you'd woken up but stayed laying there simply staring up at the ceiling, he knew your mind was spiraling but truly didn't want to ask anymore knowing you'd shut him out.  
"Hey," Max asked. His voice almost felt too loud for the silence. 
"Hi." Your voice was barely above a whisper, the sound almost strange to him not used to hearing it often anymore. 
"How d'you sleep?" Max asked. 
"I'm gonna go make breakfast for the girls." you ignored his question avoiding eye contact as you left the room leaving no more space for conversation. 
Once Max got himself ready for the day he went out to join you for breakfast finding you'd already eaten and were in the process of washing the dishes. He'd be lying if he said this didn't hurt him but held back from saying anything not wanting to start an argument. 
The rest of the day was mostly spent in silence apart from the laughter and ruckus from your children there were no words exchanged between you and Max. At some point, Max left the house once more wanting space. 
"Mama," Ivy called you as you played with both your daughters in the balcony. 
"Yeah, baby." Your daughters naturally made you smile, probably the only time you showed any sort of emotion lately. 
"Do you and Papa not love each other anymore?" She asked. 
Your heart skipped a beat, the immediate urge to cry reaching your throat and you only hoped your eyes gave no indication to the sudden burst of emotion. You noticed the way Lea's smile also dropped at the question, her attention ready to hear your answer. 
"Uhm, of course we do baby why would you think that?" You asked hoping your shaky voice didn't worry your daughters. 
"Papa doesn't blink at you anymore...like dis mama." Ivy showed you by blinking her eyes hard three times just like her father used to do to you almost daily before. 
The reminder of this almost broke you, you began picking up the girl's toys making sure they weren't able to see your face properly as you began crying. "You don't have to worry girls, everythings okay with Papa and me." You lied to your daughters, and it was evident by the weakness of your voice but you weren't sure what else to say. 
"Mama, are you okay?" Lea asked this time, her voice filled with concern, she was growing up, she of course noticed things, possibly understood things a little more than her sister and you knew you were hurting her, hurting them both and thought of this killed you inside. 
"I'm fine Lea, why don't you take your sister to your room and watch a movie, I'm gonna shower." You tried your best to force a smile wiping your eyes with the back of your hand before facing your older daughter. 
Lea simply nodded not wanting to cause you more distress before taking Ivy's hand and guiding her away. Once they were gone you let yourself cry it out. 
Trying and failing to conceive another child had been more emotionally draining than you had ever imagined it would be. You and Max had tried, tried, and tired to the point making love to him wasn't exciting anymore, it was frustrating, full of desperation, and so eventually, you stopped. You stopped trying, stopped connecting, stopped loving.  
Silence seemed like the easiest solution, not willing to face the reality of it all. Drowning in your own thoughts was exhausting but it seemed like the better option since potentially hearing the way you let down your partner, your family was worse. 
But it was obvious now, it was obvious how much this was already hurting your family so you had to toughen up now, muster enough strength to talk to Max, talk to your husband, and face whatever was next for you, whether good or bad it had to better than letting your daughters see the way things were falling apart between you. 
___________
Max once again came home to silence, he could hear the TV on in the girl's room and he didn't want to go to his room so instead decided to try to wrap up the presents in secret while he had the time. 
Max was semi-successful, his daughters had walked out of their room and been insistent on wanting to know what Max was doing despite him telling them several times to go back to their rooms and his patience was wearing thin. 
He was only able to get them to stay in their rooms after promising them a play date with their uncle Lando on the weekend if they behaved. Finally knowing they would stay in their rooms Max took the time to try to hide the gifts again so he could put them under the tree by the end of the month. 
He'd headed to the bathroom and when he came back anger and frustration flooded him at seeing Lea helping Ivy up to the counter to try to open the cupboard where he'd stashed the gifts. 
"LEA!" Max yelled letting his emotions control him for the first time with his daughters. 
Lea and Ivy both gasped and Max ran to catch Ivy who almost slipped off the counter trying to get down quickly. 
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING! WERE YOU EVEN THINKING!? YOUR SISTER COULD'VE GOTTEN HURT!" Max yelled at his older daughter. 
You heard the commotion from the room running out to check on the situation. "I WANT YOU BOTH IN YOUR ROOMS, NO TV, NO GAMES, GO STRAIGHT TO BED!" Max continued yelling. 
Both Ivy and Lea were in tears at seeing their dad so angry for the first time in their lives, running straight to their rooms. 
"Max calm down." Your heart broke, you knew Max was never like this with your daughters and it scared you to see this side of him come out, feeling partly guilty for it. 
"Oh wow...so now you decide to talk to me." Max scoffed pushing past you and into your room. 
Your heart broke at the action, but he was right. You knew he needed time to cool off so you headed to your daughter's room to check on them. 
Opening the door you had to try to hold back your own tears at the sight. Lea held Ivy in her arms as they both sobbed. You couldn't say anything to afraid to burst into tears so instead sat by your daughter's bed and hugged them both. 
"I-I-I'm so-so-sorry-ma-ma." Lea hiccuped not being able to catch her own breath at how much she cried. 
This time you felt a few tears run down your cheeks. "Hey baby it's okay." You took her face in your hands trying to soothe her. "Lea honey it's okay." You blew gently on your daughter's face trying to calm her down. 
"Pa-pa's- ang-angr-angry." she continued hiccuping. 
"I know darling he shouldn't have yelled like that baby. He loves you so much, we both do." You reminded her kissing her forehead. 
Eventually, Ivy had fallen asleep crying on her sister's lap so you picked her up and moved her to her bed tucking her in. You then went back to your older daughter who was having a little bit of a harder time settling down. 
"Lea listen sometimes people get angry at other things and they feel so angry for a long time that when something else happens they just blow up and scream." You tried your best to explain to your daughter. 
"Like papa?" She asked. 
"Yeah like Papa Baby, Papa's feeling a lot of things because of something else and unfortunately he just took it out on you." You revealed. 
Little did you know Max was listening from outside, after cooling off a little he felt bad and meant to go apologize to his daughters but stopped once he heard you inside with them. 
"But why?" Lea asked. "Why is papa angry mama?" Lea was almost 6, you knew she was starting to get a better grasp of things and you also knew being honest with her would be the best thing for her right now so after thinking about it for a few seconds you decided to just be honest with her. 
"Do you remember on Ivy's 2nd birthday when she wished for a brother?" You asked your daughter. 
"Yeah," Lea replied moving her head to look up at you. 
"Well your Papa and I after that, after talking a lot tried to make another baby..."Your voice broke. 
Max's heart broke at hearing you struggle to speak. 
"Well, we tried for a long time and Mama just couldn't get another baby in her tummy which made both Mama and Papa really really sad." You revealed. 
"Why won't the baby go in your tummy mama?" Lea asked innocently, reaching for her little hand to wipe some tears off your cheek. 
"I don't know baby, maybe mommy's broken." You were full-on crying but you could see your daughter's understanding eyes at the situation. 
"Is that why Papa doesn't say I love you with his eyes anymore?" Lea asked again, oblivious to the impact her question had on her parents. Max fell to his knees outside the room distraught at the guilt he could hear in your voice, and about the fact that his daughters and possibly you thought he didn't love you anymore. 
"I don't know honey...maybe. It's not easy when you want something really really bad and you just can't get it so it can make you feel a lot of things, mommy feels like it's her fault that the baby doesn't want to go in her tummy." You tried to finish explaining. 
"I'm sorry Mama." Lea apologized once more. "But even if you are broken mama I'll still love you the same, I'll even say it with my eyes if you want." Lea smiled imitating her dad by blinking her eyes I love you just like her dad used to do. 
This time your tears were of gratitude at feeling the love your daughter had for you, the simplicity with which her mind understood the situation and tried to make you feel better. "Thank you, baby." You hugged your daughter placing kisses on her cheek. 
Lea settled enough, feeling a little better at understanding why things had been a little weird at home lately. You watched her fall asleep. You took a deep breath ready to have a difficult conversation with your husband praying it might go a little similar to the conversation you had with your daughter. 
You walked out of their room and were surprised to find Max sitting outside, his back to the wall with his face in his hands. You could tell he'd been crying from the wet spots on his shirt and trousers. 
"Maxy." You fell to your knees beside him. 
Max pulled his hands away as you both wrapped your arms around each other at the same time. You both started crying in each other's arms, Max holding you tightly against him. 
"You're not broken, I never thought so either I just wanted you to talk to me." He whispered. "I love you so much and I'm sorry I ever let you doubt it, and I'm sorry for screaming at Ivy and Lea, I'm just- I'm so sorry for everything" Max cried tucking his face in the crook of your neck.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I felt so useless and frustrated I couldn't get pregnant. I know how long you've been trying to hold it together for us, for all of us and I shouldn't have ever let you carry all of it on your own. I'm sorry too for everything."  You also apologized. "I love you, Max, I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving you I just wanted to give us another baby." 
"I know." Max sighed pulling back and wiping tears from under your eyes with his thumbs. "Look I would love to have another baby with you, I'd have a 100 if it was with you but I'm so enamored by the family you've given me already, our girls...they're the best thing that have ever happened to me and if trying to have another baby is gonna cost us...us...than I don't want it." Max was honest. 
You nodded agreeing with his words. 
"It doesn't mean we stop trying, we can if that's what you want but I just want you back first, I need us to be okay before trying again okay?" He asked you. 
"Yeah." You agreed once more. 
Max rested his forehead against yours. You heard him take a deep breath. "God I missed you." he sighed before leaning down to place his lips against yours. 
You kissed him back harshly almost desperate to taste him again mentally questioning yourself how you were able to survive without this for as long as you did. "I love you," you whispered as you momentarily pulled away to catch your breath. 
But Max kept kissing you not wanting for this to stop, as if his body was trying to catch up on all the time he spent without your touch. "I love you." He whispered back scooping you into his lap, your legs wrapping around him as he stood up with you in his arms before taking you to your bedroom. 
Laying you down on your shared bed it once again felt right, being shared with him. Max was quick to get you naked, teasing you as he prepared you for him.
"I adore you." He whispered as he slipped into you. You'd be okay.
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sweetiesicheng · 1 day
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seonghwa - café
word count : 953
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"y/n, you gotta stay awake," you hear your friend say to you.
you just grumble as you take a second and rest your eyes. you have been studying at a café for hours for exams with a one of your friends.
"why do we have two exams on monday?" you mumble to him.
"beats me," he sighs. "oh damn, i gotta go," he says, realizing that he has to leave. you open your eyes and see him scrambling to pack up his things.
"did you forget about your club again?" you ask him.
"i'm never being an officer for a club ever again," he says and slings his stuffed backpack over his backpack. "i'll text if i go to the library tonight," he says to you.
"okay. see ya."
"bye!" he waves and jogs out of the café.
you look at the time and decide to buy another coffee. you grab your wallet and get up from the table. then, you head to the cashier and wait for one of the workers to come over to you.
"ah, iced coffee, extra sugar?"
one of the workers comes over to the cash register.
"oh, uh no. not this time. can i get a large vanilla latte?" you request, "iced."
"anything else? food?" he asks you. you quickly scan over the half empty case but decide against getting a treat for yourself. you shake your head to answer. "alright, just tap your card here," he instructs, pointing to the card machine. you tap your card and wait for it to process. "you're all set. i'll bring it over to you," he says with a smile.
"thanks," you reply with a smile.
you return to your table and decide to study for your other exam. you clean up a bit and neaten up the table while taking out the textbook for the class.
right before you're about to resume studying, the worker comes up to you with your latte.
"oh, thank you," you say to him.
"no problem," he replies. "kitchen closes an hour before we close by the way. in case you want something to eat later."
you smile at him, "thanks for letting me know."
"of course." he walks back to behind the counter.
you take a sip of the latte and smile at the taste. then, you start to study for your other exam.
a few hours go by, no more latte and all of the material studied. you sigh and tilt your head back for a second while closing your eyes.
need more coffee...
you open your eyes and sit up and grab your water bottle. while taking a sip of water, you debate if you want more caffeine in your system but ultimately decide against it since you need to sleep tonight.
just as you're about to continue studying, you see the worker from earlier come up to you with a juice box in his hand.
"want one?" he asks, "i bought a pack on my break."
"oh, thank you," you say to him and take the juice box. "you're really nice."
"ah, can't help it. you've been studying here all day," he replies to you while you poke the straw through the top of the juice box.
"you a student too?" you ask him.
he nods, "graduated last semester actually. i have a job lined up in a few months, so i'm just working here in the meantime," he explains to you. "i'm seonghwa."
"y/n," you reply. "it's nice to meet you."
"yea, you too," he says with a smile. then, he looks over his shoulder, "oh, i need to help them," he says and hurries to help out a customer.
guess i could take a break for a bit.
you wait for seonghwa to come back, but it seems like he gets caught up in working as you wait. you decide to scroll through your phone for a bit in order to distract yourself.
after some time, seonghwa appears at your table again, this time with a small sandwich that is cut into two pieces.
"kitchen made an extra," he says to you as he puts the plate on the table.
"oh, let me pay for it," you say and reach for your backpack to get your wallet.
"don't worry about it, really," seonghwa says to you. "besides, i'm taking half because i'm hungry," he adds and takes one half of the sandwich.
you laugh, "thanks." he hums in response while eating.
"still have a lot to study?" he asks.
"feels like it, but i actually went through a lot already," you answer him.
"i think you need a break," seonghwa says to you.
"i think you're correct, seonghwa," you reply.
all of a sudden, another worker comes up to the two of you. "seonghwa! save the flirting for after we close! you need to mop!" the guy says to seonghwa and hands a mop to him. the guys walks away while shaking his head and grumbling about cleaning.
"i wasn't even flirting with her," seonghwa argues back before eating another bite of the sandwich. "ignore him," he says to you.
you laugh, "alright," you reply. "maybe i should leave so you can focus."
he frowns, "leaving me already? so sad." he sighs.
"you working tomorrow?" you ask him.
"hm? tomorrow? yea," he answers and stands up.
"then you'll see me tomorrow," you say to him.
he nods with a smile, "okay, tomorrow."
"seonghwa! hurry up! i want to go home!"
seonghwa rolls his eyes and stands up. "i heard you the first time," he says to his coworker. he looks at you, "see ya."
"see ya," you say and start packing up while seonghwa starts cleaning.
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imthepunchlord · 2 days
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What's a show you liked that was really good, but the network it was on screwed it over and got it canceled? For me, it's Thundercats 2011 and The Secret Saturdays.
Oh man there's a good few.
Rise of the Teenage Mutant Turtles comes to mind. Thus far, it was my favorite adaptation of the concept. Animation was good, the brothers felt like actual brothers, and they made changes I genuinely liked. It was planned for 3 seasons, but unfortunately, we got a season and a half, as Nick canceled it mid s2 development, and they had to hurry to try and wrap up Rise with half a season.
You actually get to hear of some of the plans that we didn't get to see like Mikey taking care of his brothers turned into tots, Mikey and Raph crashing Ice Bear's wedding, and getting to discover who Big Mama's assistance was, who was potentially a lost sister; and we probably would've gotten expanded Draxum and Cassandra redemption, maybe an ep to show the backstory of how April met the turtles, probably more April-Cassandra eps as those two are usually paired together; and to see their take of the Rat King, who was set up to be worse than the Krangs and man, I don't know how they would've topped the Krangs. I am both scared and intrigued what they had in mind. But chances are good I'll never get to see.
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Owl House is another. It was also planned for 3 seasons, but Disney said no, let's do 3 specials for season 3. And of course, after they realized how popular Owl House was but too late. I will say, for what they had to work with, they did do a really good job.
Amphibia sorta feels like another, I'm not sure if it actually was, but the last season feels like two seasons combined into one.
Inside Job. It's one of the very few adult animated shows I did like, I usually don't click with them as they're focused on drugs and sex and a lot jokes don't click with me; but that one I did actually enjoy... It may be that it had some wholesomeness to it, as a lot adult animated shows, from what I've seen, are really mean spirited. But IJ did have some really wholesome, solid friendship moments, that made it very refreshing. So RIP IJ. You got screwed.
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Oh! Infinity Train is an easy stand out. That is one of the most intriguing, most mature, most complex, and most human cartoons I've ever seen. And it went super dark in it's concepts. And there were so many interesting ideas that the creator had, and at this time, those are ideas we won't see. It's a big shame that it got the most attention after it got removed from Max. This is probably next to Rise in seeing more seasons of, if we get the chance to get more.
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Um... maaaaybe AtLA? That show was an easy stand out to have 4 seasons, especially as the whole thing is tied to 4 elements and 4 nations. I don't know if Nick was like, you need to stop at s3, or if Bryke was the one who was like stop at s3. And I will say, for the latter half of s3, some of the writing and characterization just feels off, though I did hear there was a lot of conflict between Bryke and the head writers, and that Bryke got involved more often so maybe that was it?
I know one of the head writers wanted s4 and had plans for it. And I will say, there are things I do think about that I wish I got to see in the show, but it never came up. These potentially could have if we had gotten 4 seasons.
Zuko and Toph having their own adventure.
Zuko and Soka having the same teacher of the blade and having a match to test their capability.
Just, in general, more of Zuko working off the Gaang.
Katara working off Suki, her potential future sister-in-law.
A resolution on Toph with her parents or at least her mom.
Covering the origins of the Avatar (especially as I disliked Korra's answer of it, and I lean not counting it as LoK has a different idea of spirits vs AtLA; so I wonder what AtLA would've said about it).
I also would've loved to see more spirits in general, s3 was lacking of them.
There's Ursa and her whereabouts, what I hear comic wise I don't like; so I wonder what AtLA's take and plan was.
Zuko reuniting with his crew from s1 (did they even survive Zhao's invasion?).
Zuko ever coming across the 41st Division, which I think is another big emotional missed opportunity, as him standing up for them is what "costed" him his honor, but just imagine them bowing to him in thanks, validating his stance as honorable, that he was right; that could've been huge for Zuko emotionally. Which, this is something I'll give to the NAtLA, having Zuko's crew be the 41st I thought was a really good choice.
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I know the head writer had an idea for an Azula redemption, which I would've been open and intrigued to see, especially as he revealed it was going to be darker and harder than Zuko's, and Zuko would've taken what he learned from Iroh to help her, and supposedly end up an Azula who apologies often and over shares her feelings (which could end up being very funny).
I'm also bummed we never got to see Kuzon or Lu Ten (outside a drawing).
Oh! And seeing Aang and Ty Lee work off each other, especially as there's a possibility that Ty Lee is an AN descendant, given that she has gray eyes, moves quickly, and has an airy personality.
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Which, if she is, that is a missed opportunity for Aang's emotional healing, the realization that he's not as alone as he thought. That there's another who shares his heritage. That could've been huge, could've been a tear jerker.
This is about it. There's probably more, but these are the stand outs to me that I feel got screwed over (or potentially screwed over).
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siren-141 · 2 days
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Hi hi! Could we do 777 with Simon Riley pretty please!!
With lots of love!!
-Mika🩷🥭
hey there, I'm so sorry that I'm just now getting around to this 😭😭 thank you so much for the request, I loved writing these. it's super late but this one concludes my summer challenge :) enjoy 🖤
warnings: none really lmao. unrequited love that's not actually unrequited. is this considered fluff?? summer sleepover
bad friends – black honey
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It had been a long week. It had been raining, dark grey clouds covering the sky for what felt like the whole week, casting a shadow over the base. Everyone was beat down and the energy was low, everyone tucking themselves away in their own spaces. That’s how you wound up running yourself a piping hot bath, with your favorite eucalyptus candle lit in the corner.
Stepping into the tub, you slowly lowered yourself into the water. You could see the steam coming up from the surface past the bubbles, even in the dim light. This was ultimate relaxation for you – something you didn’t often have time for.
It had been about 15 minutes of relaxation, soft music playing in the background. Your eyes were shut, and all the tension was gone from your body.
“You should really lock your door,” a voice called out in your room. You didn’t even bother to open your eyes, knowing that voice from anywhere.
“I could hear your heavy footsteps down the hall, Simon. Not very Ghost-like when it’s 11pm on a night off.”
You smiled to yourself, taking a relaxing deep breath. Nothing about your team startled you – you were too used to them and their ways, that almost nothing would shock you.
Simon closed – and locked – your main door behind him. Walking around the dimly lit room, he took in the atmosphere. He looked around at the fake ivy plant on top of your dresser and the scattered pictures you had hung up of different landscapes and events you’d gone to, studying your space with a piqued interest. He could hear your phone playing in the bathroom, and took note of what kind of music you liked during a time like this.
“Just came in to check on you. Been kind of an off week for everyone, seems like,” he commented, walking further into your room, admiring the small homemade painting you had hanging near your bathroom door. It was a beautiful landscape, with lush grass and crystal blue skies, the sun filtering throughout the painting. Nothing like the usual scenery that your team was used to, no – something peaceful to look at at the end of each night, something to look forward to. He couldn’t help but crack a small smile.
“‘m fine, just figured I’d take advantage of the night off,” you answered him, and completely instinctually, he looked towards the sound of your voice. That was his mistake.
Your voice drowned out and time seemed to slow for him. Your bathroom door was only cracked about four inches open, but those four inches seemed like the cracked gates of heaven. He looked at you, really looked at you. You laid there in the tub, soap suds covering your body and almost spilling out of the tub, your head leaned back against the shower wall. Your eyes were closed, but you looked utterly at peace. Every expanse of skin that showed through – your shoulder peeking above the tub, your neck that was exposed from your hair being pulled up, the tops of your knees that raised just over the water because the tub was too short, even for you – he committed it all to memory. He could stare at you like this forever: a renaissance painting in his own mind.
“...right?” Time started again at your prompt, and he quickly concentrated on what you had just said. You know you don’t have to check on me, right?
“‘course I do,” he grunted, turning away and shaking his head. “I check on everyone. ‘ts my job.”
Simon Riley, always the caretaker. Ghost might put up a front that he’s ruthless, emotionless, and that he doesn’t care – the first of it true – but Simon was another story. This team relied on trust and empathy for one another, whether it was obvious or not: you couldn’t run if you all hated each other. Each of you had unintentionally carved out a small part of your hearts for one another to fit in, and once you were there, there was next to nothing that could remove it. Simon might have his walls up, armed guards positioned at the top of them ready to shoot at anything that might get too close, but small gestures like this was all that was needed to see that he truly cared.
You sighed, partially from the relaxing scent of your candle drifting your way, and partially from exasperation of the stubborn man in the next room. “You should worry less about us sometimes and focus all that energy on yourself, Si. When was the last time you did something for yourself?”
The question rang in his head and all he could think about was you.
“You’ve gotta start taking care of yourself, big guy.” He sits on your bed, staring at the wall in front of him or looking around the contents of your nightstand – anywhere but through the four-inch crack of your door.
It’s silent for a moment, but it’s a comfortable silence. A few minutes go by, and he can hear the water sloshing around before you pull the drain cover and let the water drain out.
You finally make an appearance. Standing in the doorway, you had finally turned the big light on in your bathroom, having gotten dressed in your night clothes. Combing your hair out with your fingers, you looked at him with your eyebrow raised. His big frame sat on your bed, making it look so small, and you could tell he looked tired.
“I meant what I said, Simon. You deserve to take care of yourself.”
Turning around, you walked back into the bathroom, door now swung all the way open. Simon followed, crossing the small space to lean against the door frame. He was so much bigger than you, head almost hitting the top of the frame and shoulders so wide that he took up almost the entire width. He watched as you went through each bottle of your four-step skincare routine, slathering serum onto your face evenly.
He broke the silence.
“You’re beautiful.”
Of course your mind began to race, heart rate picking up immediately. You’d had feelings for the guy for quite a while now, but what would it do to the team dynamic if anyone acted on it? You couldn’t take the risk. That was the excuse you told yourself – you couldn’t risk the team being awkward. In reality? You’d always just shut off that part of you – the part of your brain that would wonder things like when are you going to find someone and imagine your dream man: why does he look just like Simon and do you really want to be alone or are you just telling yourself that
So you do what you always do when situations similar to this come up – you laugh. You play it casual and you laugh it off.
Smile wide, you don’t miss a beat as you continue to stare in your bathroom mirror, rubbing in the face cream as your third step. “My hair is a mess and I’m slugging my face right now, but okay!”
You try not to think about it, thinking that maybe it was just a late night, thinking that he had forgotten about it just as quickly as he had brought it up. You finished slathering the overnight mask onto your face, washed your hands, and as you turn to leave the bathroom without really looking, you bump into him, who didn’t even budge.
His finger gently hooks under your chin, just barely missing the line where your skincare serum starts, and lifts your head.
“I meant what I said,” he holds your eye contact until he can see that you’re fully focused on him now and that your thoughts aren’t racing like they were a minute before. He needs you to be fully present when he talks to you. “You’re beautiful.”
Your breathing is shallow, and you can almost hear your heart beating through your ears; feel the blood pumping a little extra hard throughout your veins. You couldn’t break eye contact right now if you tried – he captivated you, every one of your senses utterly surrounded by him.
He leaned down slowly, bridging the gap between you two, and your eyes closed in nervous anticipation. He was still in that moment, and you could almost feel his lips on yours before he turned his head, pressing a slow and gentle kiss to your cheek. He can hear your small gasp, breath finally finding you again, and he lingers there, eyes closing to remember this moment.
Leaning back, his hand drops back to his side and he looks at you with heavy-lidded eyes that have nothing but yearning in them. “I’d better let you get to sleep. Remember to lock your door.”
Simon crosses the room and hears your small goodnight back to him as he pulls the door shut behind him, waiting silently on the other side until he hears the lock click.
That night, you stayed up for another two hours, feeling utterly lovesick. And this time, it felt good.
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scuderia-hamilton · 2 days
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you're saying that Daniel didn't deserve this, but you're still hating on him for that shit he said back in february
make up your mind for fuck's sake
wow okay appreciate you being so civil and nice lmao
just so we’re clear, i’m upset about the principle of this situation cause i hate teams dropping drivers mid-season without warning and treating them like garbage, because they’re all human beings at the end of the day. ultimately they’re all risking their lives weekend after weekend and the teams not having the decency to at least give them a proper goodbye is mad disrespectful.
now that we got this out of the way, the truth is i couldn’t care less about Daniel leaving. it is what it is. i’m not a fan, i never have been and never will be. "that shit" he said back in february was him defending a sexual abuser and i don't know about you, but that's just not something i can easily forget. but what was i expecting from the same man who said that it's "not in his nature" to understand human rights issues and he doesn't watch the news because it's too much drama and negativity and it makes him feel shitty? his next adventure should be teaching weaponized incompetence to beginners.
i can feel bad for him, cause i (unlike him) possess empathy and compassion, along with critical thinking skills. i really tried to refrain from haterism, but i'm honestly so tired of trying to be the bigger person. fans like you (from this visceral reaction, i assume you're a fan) are part of the reason why DR is insufferable and trying to have a nuanced conversation is a lost cause. there is a middle ground between hatred and unquestionable support, i hope you know that.
i don't think he deserved that seat to begin with and i think deep down all of you know that, cause the only thing y'all could come up with to defend him was that he smiled a lot and had a great personality (which is honestly baffling to me, cause his personality is that of a high school bully's, but to each their own, i guess). but y'all are the same people who then turn around and call Checo racial slurs, say that he's washed and call him a pay driver. talk about your driver's skills, let's hear it.
and to make it clear i am over the moon happy for Liam Lawson, cause i think he actually deserves to be in the sport and i am happy that he was the one who replaced him. hating on him also says more about y'all, than him, cause that won't actually bring back your mediocre driver. log off, go out and touch some grass, cause it is never that serious. harassing a young driver who's just trying to do his job and achieve his life long dream over a poorly managed situation he had absolutely no control over is honestly crazy behaviour.
i hope all this is enough for you to know where i stand on this whole thing. if you would've been nice, you would've gotten a nice answer, but since you chose to be an asshole on my own blog, anonymously at that, you get what you came for.
have the day you deserve.
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sallowtheories · 2 days
Text
I just realized something, and I find it strangely interesting.
Hogwarts Legacy takes place in 1890 (we know that due to the date George shows Fig in the intro).
This is during the later part of the Victorian area. King's Cross has been build, and the first photo published in a Muggle newspaper back in 1848, but in 1890, it still fully hadn't caught on in the in neither the Muggle or Wizarding world, with both still finding their footing with them, using them mainly for front covers, with illustrations still being the main way to depict something for the readers.
Newspapers has always been important, for Muggles and Wizards alike, being the main news outlets for many. But for many people in 1890, they would like at the newspaper in their hands, fearing that they would have to read the same headline, that had scared them just a few years before.
Imagine the scene. It's the early morning of the 1st of September 1888, and 13 year old MC - still unaware of their magical abilities - is home, getting for school. MC, sitting with what family they have, reads the newspaper of the Daily News, their eyes landing on a headline that makes their blood run cold;
"BRUTAL MURDER IN WHITECHAPEL
A murder of the most brutal kind was committed in the neighbourhood of Whitechapel in the early hours of yesterday morning, but by whom and with what motive is at present a complete mystery."
At Hogwarts the same day, Scottish Sebastian - who was just about to start his third year at Hogwarts with his sister Anne and best friend Ominis - would hear the news during dinner, the Muggleborn and Halfblood students from the London area talking loudly about it. A murder of a Muggle woman. Sadly, that was nothing new, but the brutality of the murder even took full blood students by surprise, one even asking if; "Muggles truly were so cold blooded?"
On the morning of September the 9th, Sebastian walked into the Great Hall, just as a sixth year of a full blood status was asking a second year Muggleborn, how he get a hold of a Muggle newspaper through owls.
Before Sebastian could wonder what that was about, he found the answer at the Slytherin long table, where a Muggle newspaper was being passed around, allowing Sebastian to read it just as it got to Anne.
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In London, MC, would overheard their mother and the woman that came around for tea talk about it. They were scared to go out - not that they ever went out at night, they quickly made clear - but they were scared. Even though they, well to do middle class women, did not live in Whitechapel, nor were prostituts. But notheless, they were scared. Man, woman and children. Everybody was on the lookout, fearfull of Leather Apron out in the dark of London's street at night.
In the evening of September the 30th, once again found themself in the drawing room with their family, when they were shocked with another headline.
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At Hogwarts the next day, owls came flying with the evening edition of London Daily Post, having been flying all the way from London to Scotland in the night. Apparently, a witch from Diagon Alley had found a way to earn a lot of many, buying in several Muggle papers, before selling them at a higher price to Wizards and Witches that wished to read them.
That morning, the Daily Prophet started running the story as well, leaving many students moaning and groaning about having spend more money on Muggle papers.
The Ministry of Magic has officially gotten involved in the investigation, fearing that this Jack the Ripper could be a dark wizard, killing Muggle women on the streets of London. But just like Scotland Yard, they had nothing to go on. No magic had been used, and no one had seen him up close.
Fear had started spreading to Hogwarts. It happened from time to time, that Sebastian and Ominis was too scared to let Anne go to Hogsmeade alone, even though it was highly unlikely to find Jack the Ripper anywhere in the area. But the fear was there, and Sebastian didn't want anything to happen to his sister...
October passed by with nothing happening. Some students started cancelling their subscribtions to the Muggle newspapers, leaving the witch in Diagon Alley with much less money in her pockets.
When November finally came, it was as if Hogwarts has forgotten all about the killer in London. Even the students who's families still resided there.
But then it came by owl in the morning of November the 10th, to those students who still paid the Diagon Alley witch, and Sebastian, like so many others, leaned in to get a reading of the headline.
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When MC read the headline, they decided not to read further along the lines. They had regretted it last time, and decided that this time, they wouldn't put themself through the suffering of reading the details of such a brutal act of violence.
But after that murder in November, the Ripper seemed to have disappeared. The following murder in December was to different, leading Scotland Yard to believe it was committed by a different person.
Though Jack the Ripper had seemed to have disappeared, the fear of him never did. MC would for long time find themself walking down the streets of London, wondering if any of the men around her, could be the brutal killer.
As 88 turned to 89, the fear still lingered in many, quick to connect any murder in London to Jack the Ripper. People coming out of nowhere, saying that they knew who he was, one after another, all with different names and stories.
So in the summer of 1890, when MC got their letter from Hogwarts, they felt relived in some way. Though they saw London as their home, and felt strangely safe their during the day time, the nights were horrifying. But surelly, a magical school in Scotland would be much safer, right?
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theoceanoasis · 2 days
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Hi ^_^
Can we get a part two of Rodimus being deaf with Drift and Ratchet finding out?
Maybe Rodimus tells them he laid down for just a klik and ended up falling asleep missing their calls and knocks?
They believe him.
Some months later and they live together.
They come home early to Rodimus cooking and call his name but he doesn’t answer. They try a few more times and Rodimus doesn’t answer. Drift yells his name wondering whats going on, he’s about to walk up to him when Ratchet stops him.
He yells Rodimus name too and makes a very loud clap and still no reaction.
“What is he—”
“By Primus..he’s deaf.”
“What?”
“He can’t hear us…he can’t..”
Ratchet takes a moment to think and his optics cycle, “That day we banged on his door..he wasn’t ignoring us…he couldn’t hear us!”
They both look at each other and then at Rodimus who still didn’t know they were in the room.
“Why would he hide this from us?”
“Mechs that couldn’t be fixed were considered mechs that shouldn’t exist..”
Ratchet looked somber, anguish washing over at the memories of so many smelted or left for offlining for not being “functional.”
He lifted his pede and let it hit the floor hard making Rodimus look up. The sudden vibration caught his attention and he looked around confused before turning and his spark froze.
“I..drift..ratchet..”
“Don’t lie kid, we know,” his signing was rusty but Ratchet still got his message across.
They noticed his words were a little lagging without being able to hear them and following his optics glance across the room, they saw his audial implants.
“So thats how you hear.”
It was..painful. Drift sat Rodimus down and held his shoulder struts from behind while Ratchet took a look at his audials and implants.
His implants are fine and Ratchet discovers what Rodimus already knows, that it can’t be fixed.
Drift tightens his grip on Rodimus to keep him from running away and Ratchet holds onto his face plates.
“This doesn’t change a thing kid,” he mouths.
Drift can’t sign but he can transfer thoughts and feelings and he says the same.
Just an idea i wanted to splurge.
Do whatever you please
The next day Ratchet and Drift were acting weird and part of him panicked wondering if they somehow knew.
Realistically he knew it wasn't possible but he was still nervous as he watched the two of them. Ratchet seemed particularly cold with him and even snapped at him.
He'd given him a hurt look not understanding what he'd done wrong until Drift told him.
He quickly came up with an excuse feeling embarrassed and silently angry at himself for forgetting their movie night. He should have been more careful and he was lucky they didn't find out.
"I'm sorry. I'd been so tired that night I ended up falling asleep."
"We heard the TV."
"I accidentally rolled onto the remote in my sleep but I was deep asleep and didn't hear it."
He gave him an embarrassed look and was relieved when both Drift and Ratchet bought it.
He promised to schedule another movie night with them and Ratchet made him promise that he'd get better sleep so that didn't happen again.
A few months later and he was now mostly living with them. If he needed to charge his audials he'd usually tell them he needed space and would sleep there for the night.
He'd been so busy recently he didn't have time to charge his audials and they were running out of battery.
Since Drift and Ratchet would be gone all day he decided to risk it by charging his audials while they was gone.
He would have gone back to his room. But that night was date night and he promised to cook for them. He had a lot of work to do and all his cooking supplies were in their kitchen. He also didn't want to be so far away from his audials in case he needed to quickly put them on.
Ratchet and Drift had gotten off work early to surprise Rodimus. They walked inside their apartment and could smell Rodimus cooking them dinner.
Drift called for Rodimus and frowned when he got no response. The two of them called him multiple times and assumed he was listening to music or distracted by something.
They walked into the kitchen and Drift loudly called Rodimus who didn't respond. They don't see him dancing like he'd usually do when he's listening to music and his back was facing the two of them.
Drift went to tap on Rodimus shoulder when Ratchet stopped him.
He yelled Rodimus name and loudly clapped his hands.
They both stood there watching as Rodimus still didn't react and Drift gave his future Conjunx a worried look, wondering if something was wrong with Rodimus. Ratchet however was staring at him in shock.
"...He's deaf."
"What?"
"He can't hear us... He can't..."
Ratchet trailed off as he realized something.
"That day we were banging on his door. The reason he didn't answer is because he couldn't hear us."
They both looked back at Rodimus and Drift gave him a sad look.
"Why would he hide this from us?"
"Mechs who couldn't be fixed were seen as useless and people thought they shouldn't exist."
Drift growled looking angry and Ratchet just looked sad remembering all those he couldn't fix who were then left to die.
Unable to take it anymore Drift rushed over and hugged Rodimus from behind. Wanting to protect him from the cruel world they live in that had tried to destroy his beautiful future Conjunx.
Rodimus jumped in surprise nearly dropping what he'd been holding when Drift caught it. He looked over at them in surprise and confusion as Drift kept holding onto him nuzzling his cheek.
"Drift.... Ratchet.... You're home early..."
He gave them both a nervous look wondering if he could excuse himself to the bathroom and grab his audials along the way.
"Don't lie kid, we know."
He froze as Ratchet attempted to sign. He was rusty and it took him a moment to translate, but he eventually figured out what he was trying to say.
Rodimus felt tears in his optics which he forced away unwilling to cry at the moment as he looked between the two mechs he loved and his implants that were charging.
"So that's how you hear."
Ratchet went to touch them and he flinched ignoring the worried look Drift gave him he walked over and put them on. The entire time his frame was vibrating so hard you could hear it.
Both Drift and Ratchet gave him worried looks as he stood there shaking and trying not to cry now that his secret had been revealed. He was expecting a rejection and was surprised when none came. Instead they pulled him into their arms and told him how much they loved him and that this didn't change anything.
He cried in their arms and the three of them sat on the couch cuddled together. Drift held him while Ratchet looked at his audials and the implants he was wearing silently wondering how he never noticed something so important about the mech he loved.
He looked down feeling ashamed knowing they couldn't be repaired and that he'd been selfish. They didn't deserve a damaged Conjunx and should leave him and find someone better.
Both Drift and Ratchet must have realized what he was thinking because they held him close. Ratchet signed that it didn't change anything and that they loved him while Drift pushed his love and adoration through his field.
He cried some more letting Drift and Ratchet hold him and reassure him in a way he never thought possible.
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twilightarcade · 3 months
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Talked to my cousin who I haven't seen in years
#wordstag#holy fuck........ she's like#If my sister lived across the country. I actually don't know where I would be without her.#gave me a bunch of life advice and such.. was really nice to hear her voice again. I cried.#I kind of miss my cousins I should talk to them more. Especially the ones around my age#This cousin in particular though she's in biology! Medical biology specifically. That's like mecore if I wasn't a coward#I honest to god wish her the best. From the bottom of my heart. I should've gotten her phone number...#she said she would have to take a trip up here to say hi to me.. what I wouldn't give to drop everything and go down there right now#lowkey was struggling today but like. Crops watered sheets changed water drunk. So on and so forth.#I'm gonna Do It. For her in particular.#you've gotta collect people who genuinely wish you the best then Do It For Them; yknow?#would be rude to not... many such cases. I ♡ my friends and relatives and acquaintances and colleagues and everyone#Honest to god though I miss them . Like everyone down there. Never really knew a lot of them personally#but it always felt like home yknow? It's nice to feel at home. I Do wonder how her mom is doing..? I forget if it was her mom or#just her grandma. Regardless I hope she's doing well.#Man. What If The Course Of My Life Was Drastically Altered And I Spent My Childhood Years There Instead?#often a question I ask myself. Don't think we're ever gonna get an answer. Can only imagine...#can't help but feel a distance from any one culture yknow? But that's a whole different post topic we don't have time for that right now#anyways. Talk 2 yr friends and family. Literally life saving at times. Sometimes they're genuinely excited to talk to you? Like on god?#People spectacularly don't immediately forget you and what sort of impact you've had on them... wild stuff.
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chaoskirin · 3 months
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I'm not gonna tell you how to vote, BUT...
Here are some truths about the upcoming United States election.
Either Trump or Biden will win.
Our political system is designed around ensuring that either the Democrat or the Republican win. There is no "but if everyone rallies around a third party candidate..." argument, because...
Grassroots campaigns can't work. There are areas of the country that don't have internet or television. Congress just allowed the Affordable Connectivity Program to lapse, denying internet to even more people. There is literally no way for some candidates to get their message to huge parts of the country.
The Republican and Democrat candidates are backed by huge donor machines that enable them to tour a campaign trail. Independent candidates do not have this luxury.
Our country still uses a First Past the Post (FPTP) voting system, which is specifically designed to support only two candidates.
Our country uses an electoral (all or none) system, which is why you hear that voting for a third party candidate "takes votes away" from one of the major party candidates. For example, if Trump gets 48,999 votes, Biden gets 50,000 votes, and a third party candidate gets one single vote, Biden takes all the electoral votes in the state. All of them.
I really hope you make your peace with this now. Please, vote how you want, but with one candidate saying he will essentially outlaw transgender people, I can't imagine NOT voting for the only other candidate who can possibly win. Right now the polls are 50/50, which is absolutely insane to me.
In my experience, it's usually younger people who talk about either voting their conscience, or not voting at all to "send a message." I assure you, not voting doesn't send a message to the candidate who loses. Your message is only received by the millions of Americans who will suffer as a result.
I don't want to argue. I have no desire to fight with anyone over this anymore. And if you want to ask me "so I have to choose between two killers?" as a gotcha, then I'm sorry to say... The answer is yes. Those are the choices we've been given. And because the United States is no longer a true democratic republic, there's not a whole lot we can do to change that right now.
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sanarsi · 2 months
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Controversially young girlfriend
post-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!Reader
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Summary: Joel finally finds his brother. He's not too happy to hear how he got on with his life without him. But his brother is also not happy to meet his new partner - you. Or Joel fucks you to comfort you. Warnings: +18, MDNI, age gap (reader is 22, Joel is 56), soft!dom!Joel, maybe little angst, unprotected PIV, fingering, daddy kink, DAUGHTER ISSUES (pls it’s important), protective!Joel, no!Ellie AU, pet names (baby girl, kitty, daddy) Wordcount: 4,6k An: Soft Joel is definitely one of my favorites. It's a pleasure to write him that way. Music I worked with: Brooklyn Baby - Lana Del Rey
Masterlist
“Well…” Tommy started, looking away. His hand intertwined with the woman's hand next to him. “Maria is family, actually.”
There was silence.
The atmosphere became so thick that you felt uncomfortable even though you weren't part of their conversation. Joel's gaze was fixed on the hands of the couple next to him as if he was cursing them in every way. You noticed out of the corner of your eye how his jaw was clenching dangerously so you decided to save the situation before it became even more awkward.
“Congrats,” you said with a nice smile and they responded in kind.
But they didn't wait for your words.
They waited for Joel's words, but he still remained dangerously silent.
You looked at him, placing your hand on his in a comforting gesture. His fingers immediately tightened around yours as if they were the only thing that could save him.
“Joel, say congrats,” you murmured with an encouraging smile. You watched carefully as he clenched his jaw tighter, fighting with himself. His eyes finally fell on his brother and his partner.
There was a long silence again.
“Congrats,” a low voice cut through the silence like a knife. You wanted to roll your eyes at the way his words sounded. As if he wished them to fall out on the ice. So in Joel’s style...
You were surprised that his attitude towards the whole situation changed in just a few seconds. A moment ago he was hugging his brother with tears in his eyes and now he was looking at him with contempt. There was no positive emotion in his behaviour but you decided that you would ask him about everything when you were alone.
You squeezed his hand tighter as he leaned back, getting more comfortable. And it wouldn't be something special if that damn old man wasn't trying to show in this way his dominance.
This time you couldn't help but roll your eyes at his childish behavior. Grown up man.
Tommy and Maria exchanged knowing glances before he tried to break the awkward atmosphere.
“So…” he started with a smile, looking from you to Joel. “Are you two…” he started, pointing his finger at you. You immediately understood what he was trying to ask and you opened your mouth to answer him, but Joel was faster.
"Yes," he said coldly. You glanced at him as he continued to stare deadly at his brother. Tommy smiled awkwardly and nodded.
"He's annoying sometimes, isn't he?" he asked teasingly, wanting to relax the atmosphere. You chuckled, deciding that at least you, out of the two of you, would show some level of manners.
“Yeah, sometimes,” you nodded with a smile. Tommy quickly realized that he would rather talk to you than to his own brother. He smiled pleasantly at you, ignoring Joel's burning gaze.
"How did you meet?" he started, wanting to do a quick interview. And of course he wasn't doing it because you looked so damn young.
Too young…
You smiled wider, glancing out of the corner of your eye at Joel before you began to speak.
"Well... we happened to run into each other in the middle of nowhere," you said, feeling Joel start to gently stroke your hand with his thumb. A small gesture but it gave you a lot of comfort. “It won't come as a surprise that the first time we met, we pointed guns at each other,” you laughed softly at the memory. It seemed so irrational now. "But somehow he managed to convince me not to put a bullet in his head."
Joel finally glanced at you, and if it weren't for the whole situation, he would have started teasing you about what you said.
“He's been like my shadow ever since,” you finished saying and glanced at Joel, giving him a soft smile. His gaze immediately warmed. You were his weak spot and like a ray of sunshine, you warmed his broken soul. You were his cure.
Tommy noticed the way you were looking at each other and felt strangely uneasy. He hadn't seen Joel look at anyone like that since his daughter died. And he honestly didn't think it was a good thing.
"How old are you?" came the question from his mouth. Maria looked at him warningly, but it was too late. The words were spoken.
You looked at Tommy, smiling crookedly. You knew that your age was... a topic you preferred to avoid. Relationships with such an age difference were not perceived very well by other people.
“I-“ you started hesitantly.
"Twenty-two," Joel replied, looking intently at his brother. You swallowed, feeling a lump in your stomach as you heard Joel's confident voice. You tightened your fingers on his hand, searching for the comfort he immediately provided you.
For him, there was only you.
You and your comfort were his priority.
Tommy laughed nervously, his eyes darting between the two of you. He straightened up slowly and glanced at his partner as if she was about to tell him that it was all really a joke.
But no one else laughed. Maria looked at him knowingly, Joel looked at him deadly and you looked down. Everyone was dead serious and then Tommy couldn't stand it. He looked at everyone, getting more serious by the second.
“Are you fucking serious?” he finally asked in disbelief. He snorted dryly, focusing his full attention on Joel. You cringed slightly at his aggressive tone. His reaction didn't bode well and you honestly didn't want to witness it. “Joel, what the fuck?” he growled, pointing his hand at you. “She's twenty-two. She's a fucking child."
You blinked a few times, staring stubbornly at the discoloration on the table. Right now, anything was better than facing the situation that was happening.
But Joel was calm. At least that's what he appeared to be. He gently squeezed your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles. And he didn't seem at all concerned about his brother's reaction.
"If Sarah were alive-"
"Don’t," Joel interrupted him firmly. Tommy fell silent, knowing he had said a few too many words. But he wasn't thinking about that now. He was too upset about what his brother was doing. He snorted dryly, spreading his hands helplessly.
“What are you doing exactly?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “You’re playing family with her? Playing her daddy?” he continued with increasing disgust. “Treating your daughter issues?” he added with venom.
Tears appeared in your eyes. Was your relationship really that disgusting in the eyes of others?
"She is younger than her, Joel" he said a little more calmly, trying to make his brother realize that what he was doing was wrong. Your eyes met Maria's. There was no compassion in her for this situation, she looked at you with compassion as if you were unaware of the harm that was affecting you. As if you were… just a stupid kid.
You shuddered because of the negative emotions that filled the table. This didn't go unnoticed by Joel. He knew he had allowed Tommy's offensive comments to go on too long.
"She's happy with me," he finally said, his voice a little hoarse. This time you shuddered because of him. “You don't have to worry about the rest. I'm not hurting her.” He straightened up slowly and squeezed your hand before letting you go. "We'll replenish our supplies and leave in the morning," he decided, moving away from the table. Tommy looked at him, not knowing what to say.
"Joel-"
"Thank you for the meal," he said politely to Maria and stood up. His contemptuous gaze was fixed on his brother as he extended his hand towards you.
“It was nice to meet you,” you said, smiling politely at her and then without thinking, you took Joel's hand. In the blink of an eye, a jacket appeared on your shoulders as you stepped outside. Without a word, you tried to keep up with Joel as you passed the others people.
He was furious, you were sure of that. That's why you were afraid to even breathe for several minutes. The snow crunched under your shoes as you passed each street. You had access to the house at the very end of the town, so you had a short walk ahead of you.
Eventually, Joel slowed down a bit. His shoulders stopped tensing and the crease between his eyebrows disappeared slightly.
“Not so great orientation meeting,” you said jokingly. Joel raised an eyebrow, glancing down at you. And even though his emotions were swirling inside him, the sight of your sweet, innocent smile immediately brought him peace.
He sighed heavily, looking away. “Yeah, not very successful,” he replied with a small smirk on his face.
You smiled wider when you saw his reaction. You loved that Joel was like this just with you. As if he couldn't feel negative emotions around you. He really couldn’t. You were his cure for everything.
The rest of the way was spent in silence until you stood on the porch of the last house on the street and Joel opened the door for you.
“Woah,” you sighed, looking around the house. “A house suitable for living. I’m in shock” you marveled as you slowly explored each room and Joel watched your every move. He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms, and quickly looked around the interior.
“Yeah, not bad,” he nodded, making you look at him in shock.
“Dude, it's awesome here,” you said, spreading your arms with a wide smile.
“Language” admonished you.
“Yeah, sorry,” you nodded and started exploring the house again.
You spent the entire evening washing away the dirt from several months. Only after the third time, the water was clear. You sat staring at the water as Joel washed your hair once again. You didn't ask him for it, but you never had to ask him for anything. If he could, he would start breathing for you. It may have amounted to obsession.
But who could stop him? More than one has tried to take you away from him. And they all ended their lives.
Who could blame him? If he had to, he would kill everyone in the world, everyone infected, just to keep you safe.
"Can I ask you something?" you spoke up, breaking the silence.
“Anything,” he replied, automatically washing the ends of your hair thoroughly.
“You promise you won't be mad?”
“I can't be mad at you.”
And it was true. Even though you knew it, you still felt stressed. Joel was…allergic to certain topics and you completely respected that. But after today, you couldn't and didn't want to stay silent.
“How old would Sarah be now?” you asked quietly. His movements stopped for a few seconds, as did your heart. But Joel didn't let you live in uncertainty for long. He slowly started washing your hair again and sighed softly. You knew that this topic wasn't very pleasant for him, so you honestly spat in your face for needing to know the answer to a few questions.
"Thirty-two," he replied without much emotion.
You swallowed hard, realizing that Tommy was right. You were too fucking young for him.
His daughter would be ten years older than you.
His daughter.
And you were his… who? Girlfriend? Now that sounded pathetic.
You wrapped your arms around your knees tighter, resting your chin on them and remaining silent. You've never thought about it all this way.
Joel was always… good for you.
True, he had his weaknesses, but who didn't? His wounds didn't bother you. After all, you fell in love with him. With all his flaws.
"You're silent," he noted after a few minutes of silence.
This conversation was not in his favor, but he knew that there were reactions going on in your head that shouldn't be there. And he knew he had to make sure nothing stupid got into your head.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, starting to slowly rinse the lather from your hair. The warm water ran down your back, making you shiver with pleasure.
“I just… think,” you shrugged. Joel sighed heavily and you knew very well what that meant.
"Baby-"
"Do you think Tommy's right?" you interrupted him before he could get going.
"About?" he asked, squeezing the excess water from your hair. You straightened up, looking at him over your shoulder. You were upset by everything you heard and he couldn't bear it. He couldn't stand that his own brother had put you in such a state. A state of doubt.
Joel moved closer to you, groaning softly as he knelt by the tub. You watched his tired face with those innocent eyes of yours.
“Listen, baby girl…” he started and touched your cheek gently. “I'm not going to lie to you…Tommy's god damn right,” he nodded, and more emotions immediately appeared in your eyes.
Fear? Surprise? Uncertainty? Or maybe all at once.
Despite his words, he smiled at you, stroking your jaw tenderly. “I'm too damn old for you,” he laughed, following the movements of his fingers with his eyes. His worn hands against your silky skin.
Two contradictions.
“Fuck…” he sighed with a helpless smile and trailed his fingers down to your neck. “Baby, you are like a blooming flower. Young, beautiful, innocent," he said dreamily. "While I am a dried bush overgrown with weeds for a long time."
“You are not,” you denied, frowning in sadness. Joel smiled fondly at your words and stroked your cheek with his thumb. You unconsciously hugged to his hand. A warm, rough hand that brought you a sense of security.
“So what am I in your eyes?” he asked, looking at you with tenderness. You were so damn delicate that sometimes he was afraid he would break you.
“You are like a big oak tree at the very top of the hill,” you said with a soft smile. A smile that was intended only for him. “Your crown provides shade and shelter in the summer,” you continued, looking closely at every detail on his face. "And in winter your branches scare away all those who didn’t rest under you in summer."
His heart tightened in his chest as he listened to your words. In your eyes, Joel was a completely different person. In your eyes, he was good.
“You would be a good poet,” he replied, shaking his head with a smile. You watched as he slowly stood up, groaning at the slightest movement.
Good old oak.
“Get your ass out of it cause I want to wash up too,” he looked down at you with a smirk before walking out of the bathroom.
A few hours later you were lying in bed.
A soft bed.
A clean bed.
And yet you couldn't sleep.
You stared at the blank wall and thought about everything and nothing. Joel was long asleep. At least that's what you thought. You didn't know because you hadn't turned to face him since he laid down in bed. His calm breathing was the only thing you could focus on. No other sounds. You were... safe. This was rare.
So why did you feel so… bad?
Why his calm breathing didn’t bring you comfort like it always did?
Why you felt like you were in the wrong place?
Why-
“You've been silent for several hours,” Joel's hoarse voice brought you out of your thoughts. “It wouldn't be weird if you were sleeping, but you are not,” he continued, and the mattress behind you sagged under his weight. His arm wrapped around your waist as he leaned in, nuzzling your ear. “So are you finally going to tell me what this is about?” he whispered, sending shivers down your entire body. Your pulse immediately quickened at his proximity.
Then came a gentle kiss behind the ear.
And then on the neck.
And then his arm tightened around you, pulling you closer to his heated chest.
“I was sleeping,” you said quietly, hoping to avoid the conversation.
“Liar,” he whispered into your ear, his warm breath reverberating through your body in an inappropriate way. “Come on, baby girl,” he nuzzled you encouragingly. "Spit it out."
You lay there struggling with yourself for a while. You didn't want to talk about it now. You didn't want to talk about it at all. But something inside made you ask the question that was floating around in your head like a virus.
“If you think Tommy is right, then why-”
“Because I love you,” he interrupted you, knowing very well what your question would be. Even if he didn't know, there was one answer. “Because I can't imagine being where I am now without you.”
You fell silent, letting his words permeate the space around you. You believed him. Always and in everything. You pursed your lips into a line, wondering for the first time if you were stupid enough to trust him blindly with everything.
For the first time you doubted him.
“They looked at me like I was stupid for trusting you,” you whispered, huddling deeper under the blanket. Joel sighed softly and turned you towards him. You stared at his chest, not wanting to look at him. You were ridiculed just because you were young.
“Hey, baby, look at me,” he said gently, running his fingers down your cheek to your chin to force you to look up.
You were sad.
He hated when you were sad.
His sunshine couldn't hide behind the clouds.
“You're not stupid, you understand?” he started, looking at you seriously. You wanted to look away but he wouldn't let you. "Understand?" he repeated more firmly. You nodded weakly, but that was enough for him. “I'm the problem, not you,” he spoke softly, stroking your cheek gently. “I'm not a good person and they know it,” he smiled gently, wanting to reassure you. He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. "I've done a lot of bad things you've never even heard of." He slowly traced your cheek until he finally removed his hand only to place it on your hip. “But you… You are good.” He pressed his fingers lightly against your skin and then moved down to your thigh. “And someone as good as you shouldn't be with someone as bad as me,” he explained and slowly pulled your leg on top of him.
“But-“
“Your age is just something they can pick on,” he answered your question before it left your mouth. You fell silent, feeling the warmth on your cheeks as his hand slowly began to stroke your thigh. “They don't believe that someone like you is with me by choice and not by force,” he explained with a soft smile on his lips as his hand moved up, sneaking under your shirt to your waist. “They explain everything using my trauma. And the fact is, maybe there is a fatherly instinct in me. But thanks to this, I can take care of you the way you need it.” His words crept into your head just as he wanted them to. You were fascinated by him. You looked at him again like you always did.
As if there was only him in the whole world.
That look healed another piece of his soul each time.
He couldn't lose you.
Even at the cost of his own brother.
“And the fact that you kissed me first was just an added bonus. I'm just a man and you knew exactly what to do to make me weak for you" he added with a smirk and you snorted under your breath. Your reaction was enough to make his heart beat faster. And the happiness in your eyes only ignited it.
He leaned towards you, nuzzling his nose against yours. You closed your eyes with a blissful smile.
“They may think you're stupid for me, but the truth is, I'm stupid for you,” he whispered before gently pressing his lips to yours. The warmth of his lips and the roughness of his beard warmed your heart. He kissed you gently and slowly. He always did it slowly. Enjoying every second of the closeness you gave him. He didn't know how many moments like this he had left so he enjoyed everything you gave him.
The softness of your lips.
The gentleness of your hands.
The sweetness of your moans.
His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer until there was no space between you. Your hands came to his cheeks as he slowly deepened the kiss. Even in the kiss he could feel how delicate you were.
Joel was already too destroyed by life for his lips to taste like yours. But that's how you liked him. With heavy touch, rough beard, chapped lips and tired eyes. And all this with a pinch of love he had for you.
You moaned into his mouth as he pulled your hips closer to his. How could you not fall for him when he was perfect for you?
“Let me take care of you, baby girl,” he whispered against your lips and moved his hips gently, grinding against you. Your breath shuddered as he brushed against your pussy. Without thinking, you nodded.
“Okay,” your whisper disappeared into his mouth as he kissed you again. He ran his hand down your back to your ass until he disappeared between your thighs.
You moaned sweetly as he ran his fingers over your wet slit. He loved how wet you were for him. Always.
You made him feel like a man again.
You let him take care of you in every sense of the word. You trusted him. And this time he wasn't going to make the same mistake.
His fingers slowly dipped into your hole, triggering another moan that disappeared into his mouth. He slowly started fucking you with his fingers. Gently and with love. Takes his time with you.
You breathed heavily into his mouth, purring every now and then in contentment at his gentle touch. He experienced it with you, drinking everything from your lips.
“You're always ready for me,” he purred contentedly and rubbed the bulge in his boxers against your clit. You whimpered softly. “Such a good girl,” he nuzzled against yours and placed a kiss on the tips of your lips. You felt the muscles in your lower abdomen begin to tense with every movement of his finger.
And suddenly his fingers disappeared. You gasped, feeling the sudden emptiness. His hand disappeared between your bodies only to take out his ready cock. He ran his hand along his entire length a few times, placing another kiss on your cheek.
“Don’t worry, daddy will take care of you,” he whispered, running his tip over your slit and then dipping into you a moment later. You gasped, closing your eyes and letting him wrap his arms around your waist.
He pulled you closer, impaling you with his cock. He shuddered as he buried himself inside you. You always welcomed him with warmth and wetness. You clenched around him at the feeling of being filled.
“She's happy to see me,” he said happily, placing a trail of kisses along your jaw. He wrapped his arm tightly around your hips and slowly began to move inside you. His movements were negligible. He pulled out of you only a few inches only to come back in again. These lazy movements were beyond perfect. You felt him perfectly and constantly. Just like you should.
You moaned, tightening your leg around his hip to get even closer. To make it even deeper. His lips were on your neck, placing wet kisses inch by inch. And all you could do was melt in his embrace. Every lazy movement of his hips stimulated you non-stop. Your soft moans filled the room and his heart. He loved hearing you sing for him.
He kept thrusting into you, keeping the perfect pace. Zero breaks in stimulating your pussy. Lazy sex was definitely one of your favorites. The constant closeness you had then was something that made you forget for a moment that the world around you existed. His lips returned to yours, inviting you into a deep kiss. Perfectly coordinated from the very beginning. From the first moment your lips met.
“I love making love to you,” he whispered against your lips. All you could do in response was pull him in for a kiss again. The pleasure you felt between your legs, your heart and your soul made a single tear roll down your cheek.
Fuck, how could you ever give up on this man? The old oak tree under whose care you blossomed.
His fingers dug into your skin and his movements were more decisive. He continued to move lazily inside you, only to enter hard until the very end. You breathed heavily into his mouth, keeping your hands firmly on his cheeks. Your gasps and moans mixed together in perfect harmony.
“Fuck, dad-“ you trailed off as he thrust into you hard once again.
“Yes, baby girl, come on my cock,” he gasped, feeling your slit becoming more and more reluctant to let him come out of you. This was the only time he started fighting with you.
He held your hips tightly, trying to keep the same pace even though you weren't making it easy for him.
“Don't fight it kitty,” he said with a smile. You laughed softly against his lips and started moving your hips to help him. Your movements made him look forward to fulfillment as well. You both moved your hips in sync, moaning into each other's mouths.
“Daddy’s gonna fill you up, okay?” he gasped, feeling his movements become sloppier than he would have liked.
“Mhm,” you murmured, holding on to his neck like a lifeline. Joel began to moan louder and louder into your mouth, feeling his orgasm slowly approaching like a wave of fire. You sped up your hip movements, feeling him start to slow down. You had to catch up with him.
“Oh, fuck… Fuck,” he groaned in pleasure as he came inside you. His orgasm was like a rag to a bull for you. You rolled your hips a few more times before you came, panting heavily. You shuddered, moving your hips one more time before you collapsed, looking up at him, satisfied.
He watched you in silence, and the sight of your face after your orgasm was definitely one of his favorites. He leaned towards you, stealing a gentle kiss. His thumb stroked your cheek as if you were made of porcelain. His arms wrapped around you tightly, pulling you to his chest as he covered your bodies with the blanket. You snuggled into him, listening to his heartbeat as he stroked your hair gently.
"You know... you may be too old for me, but you're still doing pretty well," you admitted, and he laughed quietly.
"Yeah?" he asked, amused.
“Yeah,” you nodded with a smile. Joel leaned down to press a kiss to your head in response to your teasing. You were perfect. And you were his.
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4dbeingguide · 3 months
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11 tips from a master manifestor.
y’all have been loving my first post and it’s really encouraged me to come back. this time i have 11 tips for you! i would’ve really appreciated a post like this when i was a beginner so i’ve decided to make it for those who may also be starting with their journey. actually it doesn’t matter where you are on this road, this is supposed to help everybody, including master manifestors (yes, sometimes doubts cross our minds, we just know how to deal with them)!
there is a lot of repetition as there are some concepts i want to emphasize on. excuse any grammar errors. let’s get straight to it!
stop giving a fuck about the 3D. that is absolute (as in, don’t check it, don’t wait for anything from it, don’t let it get to you). just stop. i have a post over here that will really help you in doing so (and no, it isn’t me cursing at you while ordering you to stop. it’s me having a discussion with you and listening to your doubts while refuting them and i also back it up with scientific sources).
acknowledge that you already are a master manifestor. you’re already where you need to be. don’t let the illusion that is the 3D tell you otherwise!
if you see a piece of manifestation advice that rubs you the wrong way then simply act as if it’s false and doesn’t apply to your reality. you make the rules.
speaking of rules, make yourself some manifesting rules that dictate that manifesting is effortless and instant for you. don’t settle for less.
keep a success story list (and yes, you can put stuff that you’ve assumed that hasn’t appeared in the 3D since the 4D is the only reality) so that you can use it to reaffirm your belief in the law if you ever doubt it.
never seek approval from the 3D for ANYTHING. it is an ILLUSION. your 4D/mind/assumptions are the OBJECTIVE reality. this also applies to the state of waiting and wanting. why do you want to wait for the approval of an illusion? and what are you wanting when it’s already here?
the 3D is not your enemy and it is impossible for the 3D to reject your manifestation. the bitch is inanimate lmao. have you ever walked in front of a mirror and had it tell you “i’m not gonna reflect right now”? i’m sure the answer is no. the 3D works the same way. it EXISTS to reflect our assumptions. that’s its entire purpose. it is nothing but an illusory perception of our 4D. it actually obeys you down to a T. i was gonna say it’s your pet but pets are actually alive and autonomous, the 3D isn’t. the 3D just an inanimate illusion. your business is in the 4D. that’s where you live.
you don’t need a technique. to manifest, all you have to do is assume you have it or enter the state of having it. techniques simply exist to help you do so (that’s why we affirm/visualize/etc. that we have it) but you can do it directly. that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use them. do what feels most natural to you. do what is the most efficient when it comes to making you fulfilled (not what gives it to you fastest in the 3D. remember, it’s an illusion).
you shouldn’t care if the 3D will give it to you or not. the 3D is an illusion, remember? a simple way to get yourself to put your eyes on the 4D is saying something to the effect of “this 3D/physical world isn’t real/is an illusion, the 4D/mind is the only true reality, i live in the 4D and thus all my affairs are there and not in the 3D and this is what the 4D is saying: (insert manifestation)”. seriously, all your affairs are in the 4D. you’re 4 dimensional.
when doubts persist, reading rants and banging pots and pans might help sometimes but sometimes you just have to sit down with yourself and have an internal dialogue. you’re human (probably 🤔 just in case you’re manifesting otherwise as you read this, and yes it IS possible). hear what your doubts have to say in full (don’t buy it though) and debunk them calmly and civilly.
limits don’t exist. imagination is the only reality. if you can imagine it then it can happen unless you say it can’t.
if you liked this post, make sure to check out my post here!!! in it i elaborate on how to deal with doubts. have an amazing day 🫶
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yanderenightmare · 4 months
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TW: angst, toxic traits, somewhat bullying, breakup
fem reader
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You’re his first girlfriend. He’d never bothered with anything serious before—it seemed too messy to trifle with. He doesn’t know why he suddenly decided. Suppose he’d been feeling a little bored, and something within him saw you as a fool-proof opportunity.
It wasn’t because you were anything special. Actually, it was more the opposite. You didn’t seem like too big of a risk. You were just a normal, honest, nice person—a bit of a loser, too, if he was being honest. He could do a lot better and pick someone of the same caliber as him, someone with a cooler style and presence, but then he’d only get caught up in the competition.
You were more to his appetite—a dorky, blushy lil’ nerd who giggled nervously at everything he said. In other words, no competition at all. You’d never dare break his heart because you frankly couldn’t afford it. And he found solace in that imbalance—knowing he held all the cards and that you could only be grateful he’d chosen you.
At least, that had been what he’d thought. But then, here you are, holding his hands from across the table in a cute little sundae café, telling him how this just can’t work anymore.
He’s confused for a whole minute before it sinks in.
You’re breaking up with him.
He’s confused afterward, too.
You’re breaking up with him?
That can’t be right. You must be joking. He almost laughs, almost cackles, but ends up staying completely silent. Something about that pitiful look in your eye makes his throat tight, and he almost thinks he’s going to cry instead. 
You’re breaking up with him. You, with him. His foot starts to tap. Have you hit your head or something? You’re dressed in a hoodie, for crying out loud, with not an ounce of make-up on—effortless, as if his perception of you wasn’t any of your concern while you’re fucking breaking up with him.
No way. There’s just no way. You must be confused about something, is all. There’s absolutely no way you’re doing this.
“What are you talking about?” It comes angry. Louder than he’d intended, enough to make you jolt in your seat. A couple of heads even turn your way. You wait for them to turn back before answering.
“I just think we’re a bit too different. And… I don’t know…” You were trying to find ways of telling him you weren’t in love with him but ended up deciding it was unnecessary—it wasn’t exactly something he needed to hear even though you had a lot you could say.
You’re rude and arrogant and treat me like some rescue pet you’ve nurtured back to health. You act like you’re embarrassed to be with me even though you’re the one without any friends. You’re selfish and spoiled and—
“If you don’t know, then there’s nothing to talk about. Quit being silly.” He has a furrow between his brows as he picks up the pink menu between the two of you, scanning the different types of milkshakes you could share and forget all about it. After all, you weren’t breaking up with him—that would just be absurd. “Let’s get strawberry.”
“No—”
“Guess we could get mango if you want that instead—”
“I’m not sharing drinks with you—”
“What? You tryna lose weight or something? Not like anyone but me is gonna see you when all you wear are those baggy hoodies all the time. Speaking of which, you should wear mine instead, they’d suit you better—”
“Listen.” You stop his rambling. “I’m not sharing drinks, and I’m not wearing your clothes. I’m not being silly, either. I’m being serious. It’s over—”
“No, it’s not.” His fist bangs against the table—the look in his eye on edge and twitchy. “I asked you why, and you had no good reason—so it’s not, not until you convince me.”
You had wanted to avoid it, but it seems he wouldn’t allow you the grace to spare him. That being said, you hadn’t meant to be so brutally honest…
“You’re a narcissist. You don’t treat me like a girlfriend. I’m more like a charity case or some type of experiment to you. Half the time, it feels as though you’re just playing a game with everyone in your life like pawns for you to shuffle around the board as you see fit.” You’re the one with the furrowed brows now, unable to bite your tongue as you’d kept it in all this time. “I think you should seek help and get your controlling tendencies straightened out before having any type of relationship. Or don’t. In any case, I don’t think I’m the right girl for you.”
There’s a silence. The chatter of the café seems distant. You feel half inclined to apologize as you look at him and stare down the glassy tabletop as if trying to find his reflection for comfort—but then he beats you to the punch.
“You’re right…” he starts softly, mustering the words, and you’re almost proud to see him take it so well, but then there’s a viscousness to his next words. “You’re not the right girl for me.”
When he looks up again, his face is warped—callous and seemingly disgusted by the sight of you. Something about it even seems to lash out at you, seeking revenge.
“I can’t believe I thought I saw something in you,” he sighs. “Turns out you’re exactly what everyone warned me you would be—just a plane-boring old Jane. What a joke—wasting so much time on something so worthless. Forget breaking up with me, I should have broken up with you a long time ago.”
He gets up in a rush and bears over the table, both palms laid flat upon the surface.
“Charity case?” he seethes, then conjures a fake laugh and an even faker grin. “I couldn’t have put it better myself. Enjoy sitting here alone like the loser you are.”
And even though you’re the one watching him walk away while ordering a chocolate sundae for yourself, you can’t help but feel sorry for the poor guy… 
That had been the most emotion you’d ever witnessed come from him.
Obviously, he doesn’t take it very well, stumbling through the café before bursting out the door, but even he’s surprised by how disheveled it had made him. He’s hyperventilating when the fresh air hits him, almost sprinting to his car so that he can lock himself inside it.
But the car only makes it worse as he’s far from alone in there. You’re everywhere. On the hood, waiting for him with a smile. In the rearview mirror, waving at him. In the seat next to him with a pout, asking if you can stay over. In the backseat, naked with a coy twinkle in your eye.
He knows! He has some of your underwear at home—he’ll threaten to pass them around campus unless you beg him to take you back. No, what’s he thinking!? You’ll never come back to him that way. Fuck, what can he do, what’s he supposed to do!? He just called you worthless—what that fuck was he thinking?!
The tears startle him as they drip down and splash upon his whitening knuckles, where he grips the wheel for dear life even as the car stays completely still—safe and sound in the same plot.
There’s a light pink lip balm on the dash. Yours. You must have left it there—maybe on purpose? No… you don’t play games like that. You’d been honest in the café. The fact terrifies him—his heart seems to want to reject it at all costs, the way it tears in his chest.
He picks the slim pink stick up and rolls it around in his hand, which can’t seem to stop shaking. You’d sat on his lap in this very seat, laughing at something dumb he’d said while applying the very same balm on his lip—kissing his forehead while saying something sweet. He knows it wasn’t, but he imagines you’d whispered that you loved him.
When he smears the balm around his lips this time, he imagines kissing you and your soft lips and that everpresent smile he never bothered telling you was pretty.
He’s such an idiot. The birds in the parking lot take flight at the jostling of his car, but no one hears the roar.
And as he sits there in the following silence, wallowing in his own self-pity and regret, he can’t help but feel like the lead of some angsty teen romance.
And like the lead in an angsty teen romance, he swears… whatever it takes… he will win you back.
You will be his again.
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♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Dabi, Hawks ♡ JJK – Gojo, Naoya, some young type of Sukuna, or Toji ♡ HQ – Tsukishima, Oikawa, Sakusa, Miya twins ♡ BLLK – Reo ♡ AOT – Eren
♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist
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randomfanfics02 · 4 months
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Five times I whispered 'I love you.' Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!Reader.
Summary; Being Daphne's best friend had its perks, growing up alongside the Bridgerton family, going to the balls with them, and falling in love with her older brother.
Warning; shit tone of fluff, little smut, angst. Family death; readers mother passed away and Father is ill with similar traits as the King. Readers last name is Taylor.
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Distractions.
"Y/n,"
You pause, looking through the mirror at Daphne, your fingers run through your curls, a simple lilac dress hugging your frame beautifully.
"Dear, why are you running?" You laugh, raising a questioning brow at the oldest Bridgerton daughter.
"I need your help, the Duke is on his way and I need a moment alone with him-"
"Out of wedlock," You turn around to face Daphne, with a gasp, you place a hand on your chest with a teasing smirk, "How scandalous."
Daphne whacks your shoulder, passing you to take a lipstick from her vanity, "No, I need you to go downstairs and distract Anthony for me, mother has taken the others to the market and you are my only help."
"It will cost you three new books-"
"Of course," Daphne beams, pressing a kiss on your cheek, "Thank you."
You hum in reply, the two of you quickly scurrying to window as the carriage arrives at the front of the house. You both share a look before the two of rush out her room and down the stairs, hands held together as you try not too trip over your dresses.
"Go quickly, I'll distract him," You gently push Daphne towards the door before rushing towards Anthony's office.
Taking a deep breath, you straighten your dress and gently knock on his door. Hearing a faint, 'come in', you gently open the door, popping your head around the corner as he looks up from his desk.
"Lord Bridgerton," You greet with a smile, "I was wondering-"
"What are you up too?" Anthony frowns, placing down his work, "You have that look on your face-"
"I have no look upon my face-"
"You certainty do-"
"My face holds nothing but beauty,"
Anthony laughs, standing up as you smile teasingly at him, "You hold a lot of beauty, Lady Taylor."
You feel your cheeks blush as he gets himself a drink, he leans against his desk as he watches you. You hold his eyes for a moment before clearing your throat, "I was wondering if you wanted to walk with me in the gardens, Daphne is busy-"
"Of course," Anthony replies, taking his jacket from the back of his chair.
"Are you not busy?"
"Not for you," Anthony offers you his arm with a smile, "And I can't have my sisters dear friend wondering around alone."
You smile, taking his arm as the two of you head towards the gardens, you look over your shoulder catching Daphne followed by the Duke who gives you a cheeky wink to which you roll your eyes at playfully.
Anthony holds the door for you, and you head out into the gardens. Beautiful lines of flowers lead down the garden path towards the pond, where a tall white fountain sits in the middle of it.
"Its beautiful out here," You say, letting your fingertips run over tall pink flowers, "You should host a picnic."
Anthony hums in agreement, "And whom should attend?"
"Me," You raise a brow at him, making him tilt his head down towards yours with a smile on his own.
"You practically live here," He jokes, "But you are more than welcome."
Your hand falls from Anthony's arm as Hyacinth and Gregory come bounding towards the two of you, their nanny running close behind with bright red cheeks. You catch Hyacinth in your arms, placing the ten year old on you hip as she hugs you.
"Y/n," She beams, "Have you seen our new flowers, mother had them placed by the entrance, they are tall and purple and-"
"They are beautiful," You press a kiss on her cheek, Anthony watches with small smile, holding Gregory's hand in his own as the four of you continue your walk, "What are you two playing?"
"We were just running around," Gregory answers, gently swinging his and Anthony's hands.
"Sounds exhausting," You roll your eyes playfully as Hyacinth giggles at you.
"Anthony?" Gregory pauses, pointing over into the distance, "What is that?"
Your eyes go wide as Anthony looks over at you, then towards the carriage at the front of the house. Anthony races towards the entrance as you place down Hyacinth, taking hers and Gregory's hand as you follow behind him.
Reaching the entrance, the carriage is long gone, leaving Daphne stood at the doors with a small smile. Anthony skids to a stop, looking up at his sister with a questioning look. You stop beside Daphne, holding a cheeky smile as he glares at you, now knowing your true intentions for wanting to go for a walk.
"I best excuse myself," You press a kiss on the two youngest's head before pressing one on Daphne's kiss, who whispers a thank you. Making your way down the steps, you lean up to press a kiss on his cheek, "Have a lovely evening, Ant."
Anthony watches you walk away, fingertips brushing over his cheek as Daphne laughs, he glares up at her, "You are unable to question my love life if you are unable to sort out yours, brother."
Anthony watches as his sister ushers his little brother and sister inside the house before looking over his shoulder in the distance you had wondered off too.
2. Always.
"Lady Taylor,"
You jump in surprise as The Duke bursts into the room, eyes wide, breathing heavily, cloths in disarray. It was late a night, your home library only lit up by a few candles. You place down your book, heart pounding in your chest as catch onto the worry in his eyes.
"Daphne has gone into labour, Y/n," He hurries, offering you his hand as you rush with him through your house.
"What is happening?" Your father questions, stepping outside of his office.
"It's Daphne papa," You quickly explain, slipping on your shoes, "She has gone into labour."
"Wish her my best," You father smiles, looking over your shoulder at the Duke who takes your hand again gently pulling you along, "And you too son, you'll be a fine father."
The Duke smile quickly, closing the doors behind you before climbing into the carriage, "Are you alright?"
Simon nods, knee bobbing up and down, his face written with anxiety, "I am worried."
"Daphne is a strong woman, I have grown up alongside her and she will be a wonderful mother," You reassure him before teasingly adding, "So will you."
Simon laughs, "Thank you, Y/n. She asked for you, she needs you beside her."
"Always."
"As did the Viscount," Simon says, you open your mouth to reply but he beats you too it, "He trusts you, I have never seen Anthony so infatuated."
The rest of the carriage ride is sat in silence. Your heart pounding in your chest as you arrive, Simon rushes out before you, you quickly following as you rush towards Daphne's room. Reaching the hallway towards her room, The Duke runs past the siblings who sit scattered outside the in the hallway. Anthony pushes off the wall he was leaning on, quickly taking your hands as Daphne's scream echoes down the hall as Simon walks back into her room.
Your eyes stay onto his, squeezing his hand, "I have too-"
"I know," Anthony nods, pressing a gently kiss on your hands, "Be with her."
You walk past the siblings, pressing a quick kiss on Hyacinth's head as you pass. Anthony watches as you close the bedroom door behind you, before sighing, slumping back down beside Benedict.
"Are you ever going to come to your senses?"
Anthony frowns, looking at his brother, "Pardon?"
"Y/n, she has grown with us," Benedict leans his head back against the wall, "You don't look at her like how Colin and I do, you look at her as if she holds your world."
Anthony shakes his head, "I do not wish to burden Y/n with our family-"
"She is family."
Hours had past. Gregory and Hyacinth had gone to bed, the rest of the siblings fallen asleep in the hall. Benedict passes his brother a drink as he rubs his eyes tiredly.
"I believe it will be a boy," Benedict mumbles tiredly as Anthony hums in agreement.
Their heads shot up as you quietly come from the room, gently closing it behind you, you smile brightly, "It's a boy."
Anthony and Benedict share a laugh, as the other siblings startle awake. They celebrate together as Anthony walks towards you, gently wiping away the happy tear that rolled down your cheek. He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead as you rest your hands on his chest as holds you close.
"Thank you, Y/n."
"Always, Anthony."
3. Take my hand.
Aubrey Hall looked stunning under the summer sun, the garden decorated with numerous tents, surrounding a platform for dancing, a band siting in the corner.
"It looks truly beautiful," Daphne mutters as you nod in agreement, watching as Lords and Ladies began to dance under the evening sky.
Anthony and Colin walk up to the two of you and Anthony takes a moment to take in how breath taking you look. A sheer black dress sat over a burgundy one with think straps, sheer black gloves reach over your elbows, dark hair curled and pulled into a perfect bun. He smiled gently as you thank him for the drink he passed you, the four of you stand on the steps watching down on the garden party.
"Is that Lord Elton your father is talking too?" Colin asks, squinting under the sun as the three of your follow Colin's gaze, "Why would your father be speaking to Lord Elton, the man that has been rumoured to be the biggest prick of the ton."
Anthony reaches behind you, smacking his brother around the back of his head, but none-the-less doesn't disagree.
"Why would your father be talking to Lord Elton?" Colin asks as Daphne and yourself share a worried expression.
"I will be back in a moment," You rush down the steps and hurry towards your father.
Anthony watches with a heavy feeling sat in his heart as you gently interrupt their conversation. His stare hardens as Lord Elton gently presses a kiss on the back of your hand.
"Stop glaring," Daphne gently nudges her older brothers arm.
"Lady Y/n looks beautiful tonight, I am sure he is hoping for much more,"
Anthony smacks his brother again as Daphne rolls her eyes at the two, "Anthony, you truly need to see that Y/n would be a fine wife for you."
"She is your closest friend, Daphne," Anthony replies, swallowing thickly as he watches you, "She is family-"
"She makes the world stop for you, doesn't she?" Daphne rhetorically asks, "She makes you happy and you make her happy too, I only wish for the two of you to be happy together."
Anthony looks down at his sister, mirroring her soft smile as he presses a gentle kiss on her forehead.
Colin chuckles, "In other words brother, be a man and tell her how you feel." Colin ducks before his older brother could smack him.
You pull your father to the side as Lord Elton walks away to get himself a drink. Your father was the only family you had after your mother's passing a few years ago. Recently, your father had been having these spells as your father calls it, moments where he forgot about the world around him and focused on the stars, believing your mother was calling him from the stars.
"Lord Elton is a good man-"
"Father, I understand you are worried but he is not a good man, I wouldn't be happy-"
"But you would be safe and have money, the children you have will be looked after," You father gently argues, cupping your face he brushes his thumb over your cheek, "If I can not remember you, my darling, I want to forget with you secure and with someone I trust."
"You trust him?" You ask, brows pinched together as you look at your father, "Don't you want me to be happy?"
"Lord Elton is hardly around, he is wealthy," You father answers, "You would have my inheritance-"
"That he would take, he is a wicked man-"
"You mustn't think the worst of people," Your father's gaze harden slightly as he sighs, shoulders dropping, "I don't know how long I have left and I need you to be safe when I pass."
"I will-"
"Lord Elton will provide for you, and he has enough to do so," You father finalizes, "I will be giving him my blessing."
Your father walks away as you watch with a sudden pit of anxiety sat in your stomach. Looking over your shoulder the Bridgeton siblings had disappeared which your thankful for as you rush up the stairs and into the house.
You rush further into the house, away from the garden party, you finally sob, pressing a gloved hand over your mouth as you slide down the wall, falling into tears.
Outside Anthony watches as you quickly walk away and into the house, passing his drink to Benedict before quickly following. He smiles politely as people greet him before rushing further into the house. Anthony frowns, falling beside you to bring you into a hug letting you sob into his chest.
"My father is ill," You whisper, as you wipe away your tears, moving to lean your head on his shoulder.
"I am sorry," Anthony replies, pressing a kiss on your head, "What is wrong?"
"He has these spells," You quietly say, "He believes he can hear my mother and she is telling him to meet him in the stars, he has fits and spells of anger where he locks himself in his office."
"What can be done?" Anthony take one of your gloves off, lacing your fingers together.
"Nothing," You reply, wiping another fallen tear, "He wants to marry me off to Lord Elton so he can pass knowing I am safe-"
"Lord Elton is a wicked man-"
"Please tell my father, Ant," You lean your chin on his shoulder as he peers down at you, "I don't want to marry him."
"I know," Anthony presses a kiss on your forehead, "I won't let it happen."
You breath a laugh, tightening your hand in his, "And how will you do that, my Lord?"
Anthony swallows thickly, before resting his forehead on yours, "Whatever to make sure you are happy."
4. Our final moment.
On a warm summers day, your father hosted a game of croquet, inviting the Bridgerton family, The Duke and Lord Elton for a friendly game. Taylor summer house was grand, your favourite home; tall tower like structures either side of the grand entrance, a library with bookcases from the floor to the ceiling and a garden that reached for miles, the house surrounded by trees. It was simply beautiful.
"May I say," Lord Elton says, pushing back his thick dark hair off the thin line of sweat, "This house would be magnificent to raise children in."
You share a look with Daphne after Lord Elton winked at you. Anthony glared at him as the Duke nudged him, raising a brow at him to which he rolled his eyes at. You gently tugged the sleeves of your lace sleeves over your knuckles as your father awkwardly chuckles, breaking the slight pause at the Lord's comment.
"I think Lord Taylor and I will sit the rest of this out," Violet gently smiles, placing a comforting hand on your arm sensing your uneasiness.
"I agree, I grow tired quickly now I grow old," You father jokes, smiling gratefully as Benedict passes him a drink before he sits.
"You've been old for awhile, father," You press a quick kiss on his head as you pass, smiling as Anthony passes you a blue mallet. The sibling's yourself and the Duke, carry on with the game, walking down the garden hill to the next match.
"What a quick tongue," Lord Elton jokes, taking the yellow mallet from Anthony's hand, "I am sure we can fix that when you'll be mine."
"I am no object you can claim," You take the yellow mallet from his hands, passing it back to Anthony as you pass, "And I do not need to be fixed."
Anthony shares a smirk with Simon as Daphne and Eloise share a laugh hidden under their hands. Benedict pats your shoulder with a proud smile before you take your shot perfectly.
As the game continues, you stand beside Anthony and Daphne, laughing gently at Colin's misfortune and bad aim. Lord Elton follows on, whacking the ball and Anthony's out the way making Anthony's roll down the hill. Anthony glares as you roll your eyes at Lord Elton's smirk. Daphne goes next, sending a cheeky wink to her husband as she hits your ball, coincidently making it follow Anthony's.
"I guess we need to go for a hunt, Lord Bridgerton," You smile cheekily, taking Anthony's arm.
As Lord Elton goes to object, Anthony smiles, "We will catch up, continue."
Simon wraps an arm around Daphne's shoulders as the two share a knowing smile.
Anthony and yourself walk down the hill, your hand falls into his in a more intimate moment, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. The two of you found your croquet balls stuck in mud at the edge of the tree line.
"Come on,"
Anthony watches as you walk into the mud, bunching your dress in one hand. You whack the ball out of the mud, before looking at Anthony with a raised brow. He chuckles before sighing as he steps into the mud, whacking the ball out of the mud and beside yours. Anthony takes a step out of the mud, sighing at his new black shoes now covered in mud.
"Anthony,"
Anthony looks over at you, who is struggling to get out of the mud, your mallet now fallen beside you as you try and pull your foot out. Anthony steps back into the mud, hand catching yours, as he gently pulls you into his arms.
Looking down at you, you hold onto his arms, tugging gently to try and free yourself, "May I lift you?"
"You may,"
Placing his hands on your waist, you wrap your arms around his shoulders as he lifts you out of the mud. As he goes to walk out of the mud, he finds himself stuck making to two of you tumble forward. You back hits the mud first, his body falling on yours. The two of you gaze at each other, before breaking into a fit of laughter, your arms wrap around his shoulders, legs slotted together.
"Your covered in mud," Anthony murmurs as the laughter dies, bright smiles gracing your faces.
"My back and just your knees," You wink, "How scandalous."
Anthony laughs again, eyes searching yours as his cheeks blush pink, "A rumour that may save you from marriage."
"So that was your plan all along,"
"Possibly."
His eyes flickered over your face, before falling onto your lips, you barely tilted your head at him, raising your brows when you let your eyes level at his mouth, at those pink lips.
"Anthony," You breathlessly whispered.
His lips meet in the most romantic kiss, one full of passion and unspoken love. A muddied hand cupped your cheek as Anthony leaned down on his elbow beside your head, you hands fell to cup the back of his head, fingertips running down his nape as you pulled him, if possible, closer. You moaned into his mouth as the hand that once cupped your cheek gripped your hip tightly bunching your dress in his fist as instinctively hitch your leg over his hip.
The kisses turn more hungry and needy, his tongue dancing over yours as his hips press into yours. His hand runs over your ankle that sits on his hip, running his hand down the length of your smooth leg before resting it on your upper thigh.
"Lady Y/n! Anthony!"
The two of you quickly pull apart as Colin comes bounding down the hill. Scrambling to your feet, Anthony helps you out of the mud before picking up your mallet passing it to you before picking up his own. Colin stops, looking between the two of you with a wide cheeky grin.
"You have a little mud on your cheek," Colin points to your cheek making your eyes go wide as you quickly try brushing away the mud off your cheek.
"We will be there in a moment," Anthony tells his brother.
Colin nods, unable to take the smile off his face as he sends you a cheeky wink before walking back up the hill. Anthony takes his handkerchief from his pocket, standing in front of you as her cups your cheek, gently cleaning the mud from your cheek. His eyes never leave yours as he does. Shrugging out of his jacket, he wraps it around your shoulders, helping you slide your arms into his jacket.
"To hide the mud," He quietly jokes, making you blush.
"Thank you," Anthony smiles, pressing a lingering kiss on your forehead.
5. 'I love you.'
Lord Elton held a ball in order to celebrate your engagement. Though it was a little beforehand as you had yet to be asked for your hand in marriage. The hall was decorated beautifully with white flowers, tall champagne towers and a band playing on a stage.
Anthony was unable to look away from you; a white dress with lace detailing and long sleeves that fell over your knuckles, flower embroidery decorating the skirt. You hair was long and curled, half of it pinned back with delicate pearls.
"You are staring again," Eloise nudged her brothers arm.
"I can not help it," Anthony admits, eyes meeting your as you look over your shoulder, you send him a kind smile though your eyes betray you true feelings.
"This is your last chance to tell her," Eloise tells him softly, taking a sip of her drink, "Or Lord Prick will marry her."
Anthony chuckles, looking down at his sister fondly, "Stop listening to Colin's foul language."
"I believe I learnt that from you, brother."
You grasp your father hand in your own as his began to shake. Lord Elton rambles on about something, but you pay no attention, focusing on your father.
"Lord, I hope you don't mind but I think my father has had enough for tonight," You smile gently at him, "I think its time to go home."
"Of course, I will accompany you-"
"That isn't necessary-"
"When you are mine, I will not let you out of my sight," Lord Elton pulling your father closing to him and out of your hand, "I will take him to the carriage, get whatever you need."
You watch helplessly as he takes you father away, worry sitting in the pit of your stomach as you gently push through the crowd. The announcement that the ball is over is shouted as you take Daphne's hand, gently pulling her aside.
Her worried eyes meet your own, "My father is about to have a spell and Lord Elton is coming with us, possibly to propose, what do I do?"
She squeezes your hand, "Talk to him, quickly. My brother loves you, go before it's too late."
You nod, quickly pressing a kiss on her cheek before quickly walking towards the eldest Bridgerton brother. He stands alone, waiting for his siblings and mother to collect themselves before getting into the carriage. His eyes widen as you approach meeting you halfway, placing his hand on your shoulders as his eyes meet your worried ones.
"What happened?"
"I am taking my father home, he is unwell," You rush out, "Tell me you love me."
"Pardon-?"
"The prick will propose with my father's blessing in his state, he is playing a wicked game and I know it, so tell me you love me as I love you and be the man my father wants me to marry, be that man I feel safe with."
Anthony's brain pauses, his heart stopping as his hands fall from your shoulders. You heart hurts, taking his moment to mean rejection. You look over your shoulder as a butler calls your name, telling you a carriage has arrived.
Looking back at Anthony, he stares, eyes glazed over as you nod once before walking away, brushing past the Bridgerton siblings, ignoring Daphne as she calls your name.
"He missed his chance," Eloise sadly mutters, head falling onto Benedict's shoulder as he watches his older brother crumble.
---
Holding your father's hand tightly, you guide him through the house as he mutters quietly to himself. Taking him into the office, you sit him down into the chair before pulling the curtains closed, closing your father away from the heavy rain and sudden shout of thunder.
"What is happening?" Lord Elton asks as you father mutters to himself, head in hands as you kneel beside him.
"He is fine," You defensively dismiss him, "Thank you for your assistance but you may leave-"
"He is losing his mind," Lord Elton laughs, watching as your father gently rocks himself, looking up at the ceiling, muttering about your mother and the stars, "Look at the man."
"Don't you dare-"
"Do what?" Lord Elton rhetorically asks, taking a further step into the office, "You are simply a woman and he is a freak."
"You are simply a beast of a man, one that is cruel and heartless," You spit, clutching your father hands tighter in your own as a tear rolls down your cheek, "I will never except your hand in marriage."
Lord Elton glare down at you, before spitting horridly at yours and your fathers feet, "I wouldn't touch the Bridgerton's whore anyway."
"Leave before I write to the Queen herself, describing how much of a prick you truly are, and then no woman will want to touch you."
Lord Elton snarls before slamming every door on his way out. You turn to your father, letting go of one of his hands to gently cup his face, he tiredly blinks at you as you wipe away a tear.
"I am sorry," Your father quietly whispers, "I am so sorry, my dear."
"Do not apologise, you wanted what was best for me," You reply with a quick pained smile, "But I am afraid what I thought was best for me, doesn't want me."
"Anthony knows, he is just scared." Your father gently rests his forehead on yours, "Your mother was everything to me, when you where born you became everything as well, I want what is best for you and I got carried away in my own worries that you would be alone when I pass that I was unable to see how I was going to marry you with a man that was going to do more harm than happiness."
"You need to rest," You pull away, standing up to help him, "I will ask the cook to get you something warm to eat-"
"I can do that, darling," You father squeezes your hand, giving you a warm smile, "Go and find your happiness."
"I can not leave you like this-"
You father presses a kiss on the back of your hand, "I will be fine, now go."
---
"I froze, how could I be so stupid?"
Benedict sighs, sitting beside his brother, who holds his head in his hands, cheeks stained with tears. Daphne kneels in front of him, placing a hand on his knee as Violet sits the other side of him, placing a comforting hand on her son's back.
"Love makes us do stupid things," His mother gently whispers sadly.
"I have loved her for so long and Y/n tells me she loves me and I suddenly do not know how to reply," Anthony finally breaks, looking at his mother as a tear runs down his cheek, "I have lost her."
"No, no you have not," Violet brings her son in her arms, pressing a kiss on his head, "You can still go to her, tell her before it is too late."
"Lord Elton-"
"Do you honestly believe that Y/n would chose Lord Elton over the one she truly loves?"
Anthony looks down at his sister, who offers him a knowing smile. Benedict pats his brother's shoulder, mirroring Daphne's smile.
Violet nods, squeezing her son's hand tightly, "Go and get your happiness, Anthony."
---
The maids shout after you as you rush out of the house, hands gripping your dress tightly as you run through the rain. You hair sticks to your neck, the white dress ruined but you couldn't find yourself to care.
The Bridgerton siblings and Violet watch as Anthony rushes out of the house, smiling happily as they watch Anthony run down the street. Simon takes his wife's hand in his own, pressing a kiss on her head before gently taking his son out of her arms. Eloise beams as Colin wraps an arm around her shoulder as Benedict wraps his arms around the two youngest. Violet wipes the tear off her cheek as she finally watches her eldest son chase after the purest love.
Rounding the corner, the streets are empty, only lit up by the golden glow from the house windows. You suddenly stop as he does, standing opposite sides of the road. His hair sticks to his forehead, white skirt sticking to his arms as his blue waistcoat is soaked in rain.
Your chest heaves as your heart pounds in your chest, the two of you clash into a hug. His arms wrap around your waist as your wrap around his shoulders, holding you close to him, he presses a light kiss on your neck before pulling away slightly.
"I do, I do love you," Anthony breaths out, "I am sorry I froze, but hearing you tell me you love me, I- It was all I have ever wanted to hear."
You smile, gently pressing a hand to the back of his nape, resting his forehead to yours, "There are many reasons why I couldn't marry Lord Elton, not only because he was a prick but because I couldn't imagine marry anyone else but you."
"Then marry me," Anthony says, nose brushing against yours as he smiles, "Let me call you my wife, let me have children with you, grow old with you, let me kiss you when I want, let me love you."
You share a kiss under the stars, one full of spoken and knowing love, one of passion and understanding. His hand holds the back of your head as your hands slide down his shoulders, resting on his chest, his heart thumping under your touch. He holds onto desperately, kissing you with all his love, before gently pulling away, resting his forehead on yours with a love sick smile.
"I love you," Anthony whispered against your lips.
"I love you too."
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year
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Just had the weirdest job interview in my life and now I’m eating a big cookie. How is everyone
#job hunt is going…. well it’s going.#when i tell you i Prepared for today’s interview. i had an interview yesterday and i wrote down everything i did wrong to make sure#i wouldn’t do it again. and i googled the place and rehearsed answers and went through the job advert with a fine tooth comb#only to go in and get asked basically nothing#i was mentally preparing myself for a panel but it was literally just one man#he gave me a tour which mostly consisted of opening doors and then he talked at me for twenty minutes#all the things i googled? he just. told me them. ‘this is a private practice. we do general dentistry as well as cosmetic procedures’ etc#the only questions he actually asked where a clarification about the gap in my resume (i was doing a masters degree which i don’t use)#salary expectations (next to nothing because it’s an apprenticeship)#and then he asked if i had any questions for him to which i asked what skills he would ideally want in a candidate for this position#this incited another ten minutes of talking#he did ask if i’m okay with blood and if i’m willing to get vaccinated for hep b. yes to both. i love blood and vaccines#and then he asked if i have any other interviews coming up to which i mentioned i did have an interview yesterday and i’m expecting to hear#from them on monday. to which i saw him panic a bit which had me like :)#and then he asked about my commute (20 mins by train; fine)#it was all kind of a lot. it all took place in this gorgeous but falling down building of the kind you only really find in my hometown#built in victorian times but most of the infrastructure added on in the 20s and then bombed to hell and then repaired#and then they added a big shitty glass door at some point in the 80s and ten different doorbells#and then they never made any improvements ever again? yep#i’ll take it if i get it but i honestly don’t know what to think. i have never said less in a job interview#i really feel like if i get this job i’m going to be mansplained to a lot & that was the goal of this process. to prepare me for that#which… i don’t care. pay me and i’ll put up with pretty much anything lol#personal
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kerryweaverlesbian · 2 months
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Oh god exhausted Dean in season 5 on Bobby's couch nodding off on Cas's shoulder after a night of insomnia spent talking. Bobby spying them as he quietly comes down for a beer (he's got plenty of shit going on in his head too). Castiel looking with such careful awe at Dean's sleeping face. Oh. So it's like that.
Castiel only flicks his eyes up to Bobby's when he lays a blanket over Dean, and he doesn't change position. Good.
"You taking care of my boy?" Bobby says, quiet as he can without it turning into a whisper (which would definitely wake Dean).
It takes a beat, Castiel's gaze tracking down to Dean, but he answers, "Yes." With appropriate decisiveness.
"He's put a lot of trust in you. We all have."
"Yes. I do not bear it lightly."
"Right answer.
"I feel sometimes...I fear our efforts will not be enough. I fear that certain people are becoming too precious for me to lose."
"Welcome to humanity, angel."
Cas shakes his head with a faint smile, suddenly looking more like a guy you might see at the gas station than a celestial being, but then he settles back into austere. "I am welcomed every time I complain. I wish there were less to complain about."
"You and every unlucky sucker on this craphole we call a planet. There's plenty good around too though."
A snuffle from Dean which turns into half a snore into Cas's shoulder get both of their attention, so Bobby only catches a flicker of Cas’s smile before he schools it neutral. The air's so sweet, Bobby's going to end up with toothache if he stays here too much longer.
"He'll thank you to wake him up before Sam gets down," Bobby tells him, and Cas’s nod is serious. Maybe he already knows. How often has this happened? What's that boy been telling him? For his own peace of mind, he adds: "Ain't nothing to be ashamed of, you hear that? Alls I'm saying is to be careful."
Castiel's head tips to the side just a little, and he gets that look Dean complains of all the time, like he's examining the contents of your soul through the eyes. Then he blinks, and they've reached an understanding. "Thank you."
Bobby waves it away, then slopes back towards bed with a final "'Night Cas. Give my regards to Seeping Beauty."
On his way up the stairs, he hears Castiel murmer, "Goodnight, Dean." and he huffs a tired laugh. Maybe they're not going to do too bad out of this Apocalypse after all.
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pomefioredove · 12 days
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ snuggles for hire
summary: first years try helping you out with your touch-starved problem type of post: short fics (blurbs?) characters: leona, floyd, jade, vil additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
"Really? That's it?" Ace scoffs.
"So, they haven't been hugged in a while. Okay? Neither has Deuce,"
Deuce glares. It's almost menacing. "That's not true, and you know it! I get lots of hugs every time I visit home!"
"I do, too. But that's just the thing, though, ain't it?" Epel says. "They don't have no home to get hugs from."
The huddle of first years goes quiet. Some days, you become such a part of their world, they forget you're really not from it.
"...Okay, point taken," Ace sighs. "But they have Grim! And he only stinks like, half the time!"
"If memory serves, Grim usually sleeps on the floor..." Epel says. "Poor prefect, all lonely. Now even their sleep is suffering 'cause of it!"
Jack rubs the back of his neck. "It must be tough, not having anything to look forward to,"
Another melancholy silence. Finally, Ace stands, hands on his hips.
"Well, let's do something about it, then. There are tons of boys at this school- one of them should be willing to help,"
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It's eight in the morning after another disappointing attempt at rest, and now you can't even sleep in. Damn visitors.
You throw open the front door.
"What? What could you possibly- wh- Leona?"
The housewarden smirks. He looks a little too proud of himself for this early in the morning...
"A little wolfie told me you weren't sleeping well. Lucky for you, that's my specialty. Now, are you gonna let me in, or what?"
He doesn't wait for an answer, letting himself in and making himself comfortable on the couch in the foyer.
He pats the spot next to him.
"Listen..." you say. "I don't know what you heard, but I'm fine."
"Don't be proud. I don't pity you, I just... owe you. Now get your butt over here, yeah?"
Leona isn't so scary when he's asleep. He's more like... the world's largest pillow. Of course, you're at risk of being smothered until you crawl into a better position, but once you're on top, he's surprisingly warm and comfortable.
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You can tell you're being watched before you hear anything.
And you think you might just know wh-
"Shrimpyyy!"
For two boys so tall, the tweels are awfully quiet. Especially when it comes to "surprising" you in random places. This time: the hall.
Floyd pulls you into a bone-crushing hug while Jade watches from behind, smiling subtly.
When he finally lets you down, you're dizzy. (Though, at this point, you'll take whatever physical touch you can get).
"Shrimpyyy, why didn't you tell us you were lonely? We had to squeeze it outta Spade," Floyd pouts.
"His face makes fascinating expressions when he's afraid," Jade says, merrily.
Before you can answer, Floyd's already got you under his arm (seriously? Where do they find the strength?) and is heading straight towards the hall of mirrors.
You already know there's no getting out of this one...
Floyd is, unsurprisingly, all over, from leaning his whole body weight against you to lying across your lap, to biting your shoulder (in his sleep...?) Oh, and he drools, too.
Jade sits on your other side, one hand holding yours, the other leafing through an almanac from twenty years ago.
You're almost hesitant to admit just how nice it really is.
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"And nothing else has worked?" Vil says, throwing open the door to your bedroom with no regard for a "hello" or, "how are you?"
You blink. "...Hello to you, too. May I ask what you're talking about?"
He storms inside, standing over you with his hands on his hips.
"Just that I overheard Epel Felmier asking my vice housewarden if he would be willing to satisfy your need for physical affection. You've been struggling? With sleep? And you didn't think to come to me, first?"
He almost sounds... offended that you didn't.
"...Well... I wasn't making a big deal about it,"
"So, no teas, no vitamins, no pills- nothing has helped?"
You shake your head. He sighs.
"Perhaps it is purely psychological... very well. Get up. I hope you don't toss and turn much, I'm a light sleeper,"
Vil is completely still when he sleeps. No tossing, no turning, no drooling, no snoring. He also insists on sleeping on his back, you, clinging to his side, and a single arm around you. Just as elegant as when he's awake. He'd be a true sleeping beauty if not for the mumbles of nonsense that come from him every few minutes. You swear you can make out your own name, once or twice or three times...
He is warm nonetheless, and his mumbles and idle stroking of his fingers on your waist is enough to satisfy you for a night of good sleep.
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